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angryschnauzer · 4 years ago

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In Another World

Summary: In another world, it was Jensen that got the role of Captain America, not Chris. You have dreamed of meeting Jensen ever since you saw him in his CGI glory in The First Avenger, and your comicon experience you discover to be underwhelming. But then you meet a cosplayer in the bar... and life takes an altogether different turn for you.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Comicon, Comic Convention, Strangers at a Bar, Cosplay, Captain America Cosplay, Unprotected Sex, Hotel Room Sex, Oral Sex, Fingering, Blow Job, Anal Play.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Female Reader (no race specified)

The above Jensen manip i cannot trace, it was sent to me years ago by a now deactivated tumblr user, with the signature half chopped off. Its the artwork that inspired this fic. In case you weren’t aware, Jensen auditioned for the role of Captain America but it of course went to Chris.

I do not operate a tag list, but feel free to go ahead and follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications, as you will then be notified when i post a new story. Oneshots will be posted on Tumblr and AO3, Multichapter stories will be AO3 exclusives.

Due to the amount of stories i have written over the years i no longer have a masterlist, instead please check out my AO3 HERE.

In Another World

You sat at your computer, staring at the screen as you streamed the latest press junket. Marvel was going all out with its ten-year plan for The Avengers and with this press tour for The Winter Soldier you had fallen in love even more with Cap.

As the images streamed live from the far east, you watched as Jensen flexed his muscles and his co-stars laughed in admiration. He was born to be Captain America.

But you weren’t the only one watching.

In a small apartment in Boston another pair of eyes watched with an added level of sadness. He remembered the audition. Standing in the hallway with a bunch of other guys, all in their 20’s, all having a few bit-part roles under their belts in teen TV shows or low budget horror movies. The same green eyes that stared out of the screen had looked at him in the hallway, holding his hand out to shake;

“Hey man. Jensen”

“Chris”

Jensen smiled;

“Strong Boston accent there dude”

Chris chuckled;

“Say the same about you, what’s that Houston?”

“Dallas”

“Eh, close enough”

They chatted for a while as the guys ahead of them in the line entered the room, only to leave 5 minutes later. They didn’t look up at the guys left, no-one wanted to read expressions to give themselves fake hope. The door opened and the annoying droll voice of the elderly secretary called out;

“Ackles”

Chris looked up, holding his hand out to his new acquaintance;

“Break a leg man”

Shaking it briefly Jensen nodded;

“Thanks man”

You clung to your priority tickets, the excitement so intense you weren’t sure if you were going to puke or cry. You hoped for neither. It was your first convention and you had maxed out your credit card and called in sick from work when the special edition tickets had been released, refreshing your computer every ten seconds so that when they had been released online you had made your purchase within 30 seconds.

Now standing towards the front of the queue you were terrified. You had loved Jensen from the first moment you’d seen him in all his CGI glory in The First Avenger. You’d followed his career and had even gone back and watched his entire back catalogue. He was a natural for the role and the stealth suit from the most recent movie had made him look so handsome you had actually swooned when you had seen those first opening scenes of the movie aboard the Lumerian Star.

The con volunteers were doing an amazing job, herding the fans into some form of order, and as you got closer you could hear the laughter and squeals of joy as fans ahead of you were rapidly shown in.

It was your turn. The flimsy black curtain was pulled aside, and you were pushed into the brightness of the well-lit area that was surrounded on all sides by vivid blue panels that bore the con’s logo. Jensen turned and smiled, putting his hand out and you found you were standing next to him. Your head swam;

“Do you have a pose?”

“Umm…” You could see the con workers and volunteers moving their arms in a ‘hurry up’ motion; “I guess… a hug?”

“Sure thing”

He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pointed towards the bored looking photographer;

“Smile sweetie”

You did. You smiled, your saw blobs as the flash blinded you. You didn’t even register as Jensen pressed his hand to your back, thanking you before turning to the next person who had already been pulled through the black curtain. A volunteer took your wrist and pulled you gently through the curtain on the far side, giving you your photo number as they apologised it was so fast.

The curtain closed and you stood there, blinking as you tried to focus on the small piece of paper you held. It was done. Over. You’d met Jensen and it had been so rushed you hadn’t even had chance to look at him.

The bile started to rise, you looked around and saw a trash can, leaning over it and vomited into the piles of used coffee cups and candy wrappers.

The hunt for a bottle of water at a con hadn’t been something you would think would take so long; a lot of the vendors had already sold out, others the line was so long it would have taken you longer to get the water than the queue for the con in the first place. It seemed as if everyone was walking against you, or you were going against the flow of them, but when you finally got your water you drained the entire bottle, soothing your bile parched throat. Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand you heard an announcement over the PA system;

“We apologise, but the Jensen Ackles panel won’t be broadcast out of the auditorium due to technical issues”

“WHAT?” you grabbed your wrist, looking at your watch as your eyes went wide. You’d been so dazed by your photo op and feeling ill afterwards you had forgotten about the panel. You needed a drink, and something stronger than water.

Chris adjusted the helmet of his costume as he looked in the mirror. The men’s room was quiet, the main panel of the con was on and he couldn’t bring himself to sit in the same room as the guy that had won the role that had made him millions; of fans and dollars.

After not getting the Captain America role Chris had continued to take bit parts and small independent movies. He was recognised occasionally but he hadn’t hit the big time. In fact there were months when there was nothing coming in and it was only after someone had asked him to fill in at a kids party where one of the superhero guys had fallen sick at the last minute did the idea of cosplaying come to him. Now however he was well known in cosplay circles, even getting paid for some appearances. He was called a natural for the role, but that was the hardest to hear. He’d worked hard with his costumer and within just a few weeks of the latest movie coming out they’d successfully recreated the amazing Stealth Suit in its darker colours.

Checking his pants for his wallet he decided he needed a drink, and something stronger than a soda.

Nodding to the bartender, you thanked him as he set the beer down in front of you before he went to the far end of the bar to pull the latest load of glasses out of the dishwasher. You sat picking at the label and tracing patterns in the condensation that gathered on the cool glass. You were vaguely aware of other people coming and going, and when the barstool next to you was taken you didn’t look up.

“What’ll it be Cap?”

The bartender’s greeting drew your attention from your drink, casting your gaze to your side and your breath was sucked from your body. You watched as the man set his helmet onto the surface of the bar before nodding to what you were drinking;

“Same as the lady please”

Your eyes travelled from where his hand sat on the countertop of the bar up the dark sleeve of his stealth suit, taking in his wide shoulders and up to the fluffy dark blonde hair, slightly messed up from where he’d been wearing the helmet. You couldn’t help it, but you were staring. Your jaw was hanging low as he turned slowly to you, his blue eyes sparkling with just the faintest hint of green as he looked at you and a self-conscious smile tugged at the corner of his mouth;

“Hi…”

“You’re… you’re…”

“No, just cosplaying…” he turned back to his beer for a moment until you finally found your voice

“No. You’re Chris”

He set his beer on the countertop and turned to you, this time a genuine smile on his face;

“Do we know each other?”

“Well…” you blushed; “We spoke on Instagram” He cocked an eyebrow, but his attention didn’t waiver from you as you continued; “You’re ‘AlmostCap’, right? You posted about wanting advice on how to dye leather boots a deeper colour? I messaged you with the details of the dyes costumiers use”

His face broke into a wide smile;

“Oh yeah, that really worked! How did you know that?”

“Majored in theatre design at college”

“Well that titbit of knowledge brought the whole costume together” he motioned to his stealth suit and you couldn’t help but to look him up and down; “Without you I wouldn’t look this good”

You snorted back a laugh;

“I’m sure you look just a good without the suit”

Bringing your beer to your lips you took a sip, not realising Chris had moved closer until his lips brushed against your ear;

“Would you like to find out?”

The hotel room door crashed against the wall, the metal doorknob leaving a dent in the drywall. Chris had you pressed up against it, one hand holding you flush with his chest as his other hand blindly reached out for the door to close it. As soon as his fingertips grasped the cool wood he threw it shut with a thud that reverberated through the room.

Your hands clawed at Chris’s costume, desperate to find purchase, something, anything to hang onto and anchor yourself as he kissed you so hard you saw spangled stars. He’d put his costume helmet back on for the rather quick walk through the convention to the hotel where you were staying. His lips traced patterns over your cheek before he pressed kisses down your neck, whispering as he went;

“I don’t normally do this…”

“Me neither…

“...especially in costume…”

“Oh Chris…Cap…”

“It’s Captain tonight, Princess”

His fingers had found their way to the buttons on the front of your dress, skilfully plucking each one from its grasp on the thin cotton fabric, before his still gloved hand roughly cupped your breasts. As his lips found yours again, he groaned into your mouth as he weighed your breasts in his large hands, the rough leather against the lace of your bra sending chills through you. If Chris had a Captain kink you weren’t about to say no, hell, it would be one of your biggest fantasies.

You found yourself being manhandled towards the bed, Chris’s kisses hard and ravenous, and when he wasn’t kissing you his tongue was doing the most devilish things on your skin. The bed touched the back of your knees and you were falling back onto the covers, Chris following seconds later as he pressed you into the mattress. With a thick thigh he pushed your legs apart, the rough Kevlar fabric of his suit brushing against the delicate skin of your soft skin as his fingers sought out the juncture of thighs. The brush of the harsh leather of his fingerless gloves made you groan into his mouth as he tugged your panties to the side and his thumb found your clit. Rubbing small circles, he teased it from its hood, before his fingers slid through your folds to ease some of your slick moisture from you to smooth his efforts.

When his lips left yours you chased after them, but his voice made you settle back against the bed and open your eyes;

“Uh-uh… stay there Princess”

You watched as he brought his fingers to his mouth, before his kiss bruised lips closed around his glistening digits and he moaned as he tasted you;

“You taste amazing”

“Umm… thank you?”

“Here…”

He brought his hand to your mouth and you grasped it as you sucked gently on just the fingertips, watching as Chris’s already lust blown pupils widened even further;

“Jesus fucking Christ, your tongue…”

Letting go of his fingers with an audible pop, you pushed yourself up onto your elbows, resting on one arm as you slid a hand between your bodies and palmed his erection through his suit;

“What about my tongue?” you grinned before you tugged him down to lay beside you.

Pushing up onto your knees you ran your hand down his chest and stomach, the costume warm from his body heat and firm to the touch. Your fingers clawed at his suit to try and find the zipper, and after thirty seconds of searching you let out a huff;

“Ok, how the fuck to I get in here?”

With a low chuckle Chris reached down and lifted a hidden Velcro flap that revealed the button and the top of the zipper, and you eagerly tugged the pants of his suit open. The large bulge in his boxers immediately filled the space of the open zipper, and you found yourself nuzzling against the hardness that the soft jersey fabric could hardly contain. Pressing open mouthed kisses to the hard shaft through the fabric, you felt Chris’s hands on your head, he wasn’t pushing but you could tell he wanted you. With a smile you just about tugged his boxers down enough to free his cock, the thick shaft standing proud from the fly of his stealth suit. You wrapped your hands around it, the flesh hot to touch and pumped him slowly.

“Ah fuck Princess…”

“Yes Captain?”

“Please…”

He sounded wrecked, and as you leant forwards and licked at the bead of clear precum that was pooling at the tip you not only heard but felt the low rumble of his moan of appreciation. Wrapping your lips around the tip you started to suck, your tongue working over the hot smooth flesh as your fist worked up and down, pumping him slowly as you let the saliva pool in your mouth so you could take him deeper. In a moment when you pulled off to take a breath Chris’s hands were suddenly on your hips, moving you until you were kneeling on the bed and straddling his shoulders, and for a moment you squealed where his sudden strength had moved you with such ease.

“Gotta taste you…” he muttered from beneath the skirt of your dress, his hands smoothing over the globes of your ass and you could feel his breath hot on your skin. His fingers tugged your panties to the side and he was pulling you down onto his mouth, his tongue swiping through your soaked folds.

For a moment you lost yourself, Chris’s efforts driving you closer to orgasm than you thought was possible, but you found your senses and leant forwards again, taking him as deep as you could and you felt his moan deep in your cunt as he almost came on the spot. Working your fingers into his suit you cupped his balls, feeling them tight and hot in your hand as you sucked hard on his cock. At the same time you felt Chris drive his tongue into your soaked hole and his thumb sought out your clit. Your orgasm was rapidly approaching, and you could feel your legs start to shake. The harder he drove forwards the deeper you took him into your mouth. You heard a muffled cry from between your thighs and you felt that first tremble of the thick vein that ran the length of his cock. At the same time you felt his fingers dance over the crack of your ass, one finger pressing lightly against your dark rose and you were cumming over his face as he pumped thick ropes of cum down your throat.

When your legs were about to give out you tactfully rolled to the side, laying on the bed next to Chris as he fought to catch his breath. With laboured efforts he wrenched his helmet off, and you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch as he started to fumble with his costume;

“Gotta get out of this…”

Watching a hot guy strip was not something you’d experienced before, and a hot guy dressed as Captain America? Well that was hitting all your buttons in one go. You smiled as Chris was muttering to himself;

“Fuckin’ suit, so fuckin’ hot… fuckin’ drenched in sweat…”

When he was down to just his pants you finally spoke up;

“Need a hand there Captain?”

Chris looked up and grinned;

“You mind if I use your shower?”

“Sure thing, it’s all yours…”

Chris started for the small bathroom door, his utility pants hanging low on his hips before he paused and turned, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth;

“Wanna join me?”

Showering with a guy you had literally just met was a surreal experience. The comfort and security of being partially clothed during a hook-up was completely stripped from you as you stood in the small shower enclosure the hotel room offered. Chris had looked absolutely sinful as he had stood beneath the cascading water; his skin patterned with multiple tattoos and just the right amount of chest hair that made you want to run your fingers through it as the hot water coursed over his body. Your fingers had trailed down over his hard stomach, tracing the trail of hair that led to his thick cock hanging heavy between his muscled thighs.

His lips had met yours eagerly again, and he soon had you pressed against the wall, his leg wedged between your thighs as you ground yourself against the firm muscle. Chris’s hands found your ass and eagerly pulled you hard against him, trapping his now angry cock between your bodies;

“Fuck… you’re so fuckin’ sexy” he muttered against your ear, his fingers digging into your asscheeks; “You gonna cum for me Princess? Soak my thigh?”

“Yes Chris, please…”

“What do you need Princess?”

“Something…. Just more…”

He pulled back from you, searching your expression for something, anything as he chose his words;

“I can give you more…” The depth of tone sent a shudder down your spine; “I’m gonna ask you this and you can say no, and I won’t walk out that door if you say no, but do you like ass play?”

You growled. You god-damn growled like a feral wildcat, nodding eagerly;

“Yes Chris… fuck, yes…”

He captured your lips for another fierce kiss as his hands slid over your ass and one finger trailed up the seam of your cheeks before pressing gently against your rear;

“Now Princess” he muttered against your lips; “I haven’t got any lube in here so it’ll just be a gentle press, you tell me if you want me to stop”

You nodded, biting your lip as he pushed forwards, one hand gripping your hip as he slid you up and down his soaked thigh, the other pressing gently but insistently against your back door.

Just that stimulation alone was enough, and you were cumming hard, your head pressed against the cool tiles as Chris sucked a hickey into your neck.

You stood there panting as you tried to regain your composure, Chris holding you tight in his arms as he gently caressed you as you finally came to your senses. Nuzzling against his neck you felt him push his hips forward, his thick cock hard again against your hip;

“Ready for another round?”

“Anything for you Cap” you grinned.

The pair of you had fallen back onto the bed, half dry and oblivious to anything other than pleasure. Body heat rising, you felt your back naturally arch as Chris lay on top of you, pulling his knee up to part your legs further and you could feel his thick length laying hot and hard against your soaked folds. As his other leg pushed up and parted your thighs even further, you felt that first nudge of his tip at your soaked entrance, your legs instinctively wrapping themselves around his waist and with one firm squeeze you felt his breach your body and slide into you.

The base noise that escaped your throat as you felt each glorious inch stretch your velvet walls was music to Chris’s ears, and he let you take the lead even though he was the one on top, letting your body grow accustomed to his size. His lips brushed against your ear as he spoke softly;

“You’re doing so good Princess, feel so fuckin’ amazing, takin’ me so deep”

You slowly relaxed your thighs grip on his waist and Chris started to move, sliding his hips back as he slid out, before pushing slowly back in. Propping himself up either side of you, you watched as his arms bulged as he looked down and watched as he pulled out again, your wetness liberally coating him.

With his tip just notched inside you whined at the loss, before with a powerful thrust he filled you completely;

“Holy FUCK!”

“Do you like that Princess? Like my thick dick splitting you open?”

“Fuck Chris, yes, do it again… please!” you whined.

The gorgeous man above you grinned down, seemingly turned on by your begging, and with a loud grunt he started to pile drive into you, his impressive girth stretching you in all the right ways, the slight upward curve to his shaft making your g-spot his number one target with every push. The man was a demon in bed, fucking you hard as he pressed kisses to your chest and breasts, all whilst uttering the dirtiest things about how good you felt, how well you were taking his dick. You begged for more and he eagerly gave it, fucking you through one orgasm before chasing another. His thrusts started to get sloppy, his hips stuttering and he cursed quietly under his breath;

“Fuck… I’m gonna cum soon…”

“Cum inside me… I’m on the pill…”

He pushed a hand between your bodies, rubbing hard circles against your clit and soon you were coming, your orgasm triggering his, and you as your body milked the cum from his body you both felt like you had found heaven.

With a grunt Chris rolled to your side, his dick sliding out of your soaked channel and he lay on the bed, his head propped up on one elbow, his dick full and swollen at your hip, still shining with your combined fluids. Your body trembled with the aftershocks of your intense orgasm, and you practically purred when Chris gently ran his fingertips over your breasts;

“That was fuckin’ amazing… I’m probably going about this the wrong way, but can I buy you dinner?”

“That’d be nice”

Dinner had been a fun affair; you had redressed, and Chris had worn his stealth suit pants but just wore the thin Under Armour undershirt instead of the full suit. Although the hotel was well used to people in cosplay costumes during the conventions using their facilities, Chris didn’t want to draw attention to himself, instead he wanted his sole attention to be able to be on you rather than people asking for photos. Throughout your meal the conversation had been fun and light, Chris telling you how he had in fact auditioned for the Marvel role but didn’t envy the craziness that came with the now worldwide recognition that Jensen had to put up with. You had explained how you now worked for a theatrical costumer’s agency on the West Coast, but had heard about some openings for a new series production out of Vancouver.

Chris laughed softly;

“Typical… I fall for a girl that lives on the opposite side of the country”

“You… you’ve fallen for me?”

Chris paused, resting his hand over yours;

“I’m sorry, I’m kinda sappy when it comes to relationships… and I gotta be honest, when I saw you at the bar, I recognised you from your Instagram and when you helped me… I was trying to play it cool…” he took a deep breath; “I hope I’m not scaring you off…”

Leaning forward you pressed a kiss to his cheek;

“No… it’s nice… its more than nice…”

Once the meal was over the pair of you stood in the foyer, unsure what to do before Chris pointed out the rest of his costume was in your room.

“Where are you staying tonight?”

“I was meant to be crashing on a friends couch”

Grinning you pulled him close;

“Did you want a bed rather than a couch?”

“Fuck yes”

Minutes later you were crashing in the door to your room, Chris’s hands and lips trying to cover every inch of your body, and this time with the knowledge of how his costume worked you knew exactly how to get his pants open, tugging them to the floor as you pushed him into one of the chairs and knelt at his booted feet. With his dick in your mouth he was soon hard again, but that was when he took control, standing and moving you until you were knelt on the soft chair arms looking out of the high rise window over the convention center and city below, the lights of the city oblivious as he flipped your skirt up and pulled your panties down, and filled you with one smooth thrust;

“Fuck… this pussy is fuckin’ perfect, you feel like heaven…”

Wrapping his strong arms around you he pulled you flush with his hard chest, sucking at your neck as his dick rubbed so beautifully against your g-spot you were coming again, screaming out your release as Chris pulled out and lifted you, pulling you to your feet before you found yourself pressed against the wall and he filled you again.

Clinging to his wide shoulders you felt him filling you over and over, your pleasure climbing higher than you ever thought possible. Chris’s strong arms were holding you up, his large hands gripping your ass as he fucked you into the wall, your legs wrapped around his narrow waist;

“Chris, I’m gonna cum…”

“That’s it, cum for me, let me feel that pussy milking me as I fill you up… you feel so good, I’m never letting this pussy go…”

As you came so did he, your walls squeezing him so tight he thought he may pass out from the sheer pleasure. For the longest time he just held you there, your bodies joined until Chris’s dick softened enough to slip out of you. Letting your feet fall to the ground you kissed as you made your way to the bed, falling onto the mattress before wrapping the covers around your flushed bodies, falling asleep soon after.

The sound of a phone ringing pulled you from sleep, the warm body next to you grumbling at the sound before it rapidly jumped out of bed;

“Fuck, that’s my phone”

Through bleary eyes you watched Chris’s naked ass as he rummaged through the piles of clothing on the floor, finding his phone and answering it just in time;

“Yeah… uh-huh… for real?! Yeah absolutely! Send me the details, I’ll be there!”

You watched as he listened a little longer before ending the call, turning to you and he had the biggest smile on his face;

“I might have gotten a part!”

“Really? That’s amazing!”

“Yeah, they want me to do some screen tests with a possible co-star, see if there’s chemistry”

Jumping out of bed you ran and hugged him, kissing him deeply as he carried you back to the bed;

“I feel like celebrating… how about breakfast in bed?”

“Ok, I’ll call room serv… oh…”

Chris was pushing your legs apart and kissing up your inner thigh, and that’s when you realised he was talking about a different kind of breakfast in bed. As you lay back and enjoyed the magic he could perform with his tongue, you blissed out from pleasure.

Three Weeks Later

Chris finished the last scene, the director calling cut and he grinned as he looked at his castmates. None of them could quite believe how they were there, standing in a cold and rainy British Columbia small town, with writers and directors that had been trying to get their series picked up for years.

The rest of the cast of ‘Supernatural’ was a small ensemble, and having been given the role of the older brother; Dean Winchester, Chris felt at home with the role and had been given he contract straight after his screen test with his on screen brother Sam. Laughing with the actor that played Sam - a native New Yorker by the name of Sebastian - the two of them had immediately clicked and their friendship and on screen chemistry shone through the camera.

“Hey Evans, Stan!”

The sound of the producer’s voice caught Chris’s attention;

“Yeah?”

They need you two back at the studio, costume fitting”

“Sure thing”

The sound of the small doorbell that had been fitted on the counter drew your attention from the racks in the back room, calling out for your new arrival that you’d be out in a second. The job you’d applied for in Vancouver had pulled through, and it was your first week. A new show that needed a lot of men’s casual wear, yet things like jeans and jackets needed seams strengthened for fight scenes and pockets added for prop weapons. You were yet to meet the two main stars of the show, the casting having not been fully finalised until just days ago, and everything was hush-hush until it was going to be announced at one of the late summer conventions.

Dumping the armfuls of clothing onto the counter you turned and almost fainted;

“Chris?!”

For a second he looked in shock before he vaulted the counter, and took you into his arms;

“You’re here? You’re really here?”

“You’re the star?! You didn’t tell me!”

You kissed him deeply, before a quiet cough from behind Chris drew your attention, Chris turning;

“Seb, I want you to meet the girl I was telling you about”

The other guy raised an eyebrow;

“You’re THE girl? Wow, it’s a pleasure to meet you” he held his hand out over the counter and you shook it, Chris still holding you in his arms; “I’m Sebastian but everyone calls me Seb”

Looking at the two of them you knew in that moment the show was going to be a hit, and you looked forward to making these two look even better on screen… if that was even possible.

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you

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xurkitips · 7 years ago

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On Conveying Personality Through Chatroom-style Dialogue

A friend of mine shared screenshots of a roleplay he was having via a Discord server, wherein the style was chatroom/texting based. Each character would have a different style of typing completely unique to their person. Though unfamiliar with all of them, I could see what their personalities were like

Like real human beings, a character very much so has a “voice”. I mean that both in the literal sense, through their manner of speaking and what they say, but also through their self expression, interests, and actions. This carries over into the digital realm in ways we may not even notice. Text messages may not be verbal, no, but there are ways to show inflection.

There are many, many ways to show meaning through text. Here are some that I’ve picked up and utilized with my own characters:

Sentence structure

all lowercase sentences VS Grammatically correct

Lowercase gives off the feeling of someone familiar with others or willing to become familiar. It lacks the tension of formal writing, complete with its capitalization and proper periods ending sentences, and feels very casual and approachable. It may also be a sign of someone who doesn’t care much about perfection, a lazy person, or an easy going individual. Seems like a lot of internet regulars prefer this kind of typing style.

“im dying

‘deafening horrorcore rap’ ok i listen to literal noise and idk what this even is”

Using a properly capitalized and punctuated style is very formal, like one would see in a book, an official email, etc. It’s more serious and stern than lowercase is and may imply an older, more mature person typing...or maybe just someone trapped on their phone at the mercy of autocorrect.

"I am always happy to see you, even if you are not feeling your best.“

“It's nice here.

Quiet.”

There’s a certain respectful steadiness to it as well. It can be calming to read at times.

Punctuation VS Lack of punctuation

End-stopped lines come with both a pause and a bit of a pointed and direct feeling. It strengthens both lowercase and grammatically correct styles, but in different ways. In conjunction with “proper” writing, it’s less noticeable, merely giving the reader a moment’s pause. In conjunction with lowercase, especially if the one typing isn’t keen on using periods, it can come off as stern, serious, passive-aggressive, or angry.

“whatever.

it's less excruciating than it would be without it.”

Removal of punctuation is a different story. Typically just shown with lowercase, it leaves it with that casual feeling intact, or like one’s sentences are more like quick thoughts or questions. Removing them from grammatically correct sentences does ease off some of the tension, implying someone with a more neutral-positive tone while still being more mature.

“I’m not terribly good with conversation”

And then there’s the run-on sentences from those who type small novels per response. Usually complete with multiple and’s. It’s a sign of nervousness, enthusiasm, or oftentimes a younger character...

“actually i don't know much about it i just happened to see something online and it's apparently only manufactured overseas exclusively for this one particular shop and they made the original design and initial product i guess”

Oof.

Proper spelling (or lack thereof)

The better the spelling, the more the likelihood of the person being older, calmer, or neutral. There’s also a sense of being well educated or careful about one’s typing. Perhaps a confident air may exude from what they say, too.

“Can you come help me for a moment?”

Those who make a lot of mistakes will simply confuse words for other words, forget apostrophes, or type too fast to notice things missing or in the wrong location. Some just don’t really care enough or are too tired to deal with it. Too much focus and people know what they mean anyway. Probably.

“i laug hso hard hes come runin

he thougt i aws dyin”

It can also happen in very emotional situations, in bouts of laughter, crying, rage, or when one is drowsy, medicated, or sick. It tends to stand out when one’s style is suddenly very, very different and tips others off to something being wrong.

Younger characters, especially kids, also make spelling mistakes all the time depending on their age, whether due to sounding out words or just in a hurry to reply.

Short sentence fragments, single words, and lengthy paragraphs

Sometimes people with rapid-fire thoughts, who are excited, busy, stressed, or angry, will take to quick and short responses (sometimes of many fragments in a row). These show a similar feeling as do lines of poetry. Stacking small fragments on top of one another adds emphasis. The reader has to read them one by one rather than as a straight sentence. On its own, the word or fragment stands out and becomes more important.

"well

yeah thats

what i was tryina do

but i mean”

I’ve seen it used used for storytelling from one person to another in larger chunks of things, quick responses, for poetic value, and in irritation or passive-aggressiveness.

In full sentence conversations sent in short bursts, it’s also allowing the reader pause to read each comment without it feeling like a novella. Though it can also feel like someone is obnoxious, rambling on and on as the notifications keep coming, or has a lot to talk about and keeps thinking of more.

Then there are those who type rather large responses all at once instead of hitting the enter key with every sentence:

"Whoever did it was quite thorough; either the power in that area of the lab was cut while we were distracted or they tampered with the security cameras, because that footage is missing. But, we have some theories now. It had to have been someone with direct access to the laboratory. I hesitate to place blame on any of my coworkers...they're all my trusted companions and friends! And yet...”

It’s concise and a solid, complete story in one spot. Could be someone who loves to talk, could be someone who didn’t want a response before they were done talking. It’s also commonly seen by middle-aged texters who want to say everything they can all at once.

Exclamation points and Question marks

Simple one here. Question mark for a question or confusion, exclamation point for emphasis or an exclamation. But when a person adds multiple to a sentence it can convey more of the person’s feelings;

“are you okay??”

Here is someone who is very concerned. Multiple question marks can imply things such as worry, stress, disbelief, and shock. There’s a sense of hurry and tension. Perhaps the person on the other end is frightened, easily afraid, or tends to have an overwhelming reaction to things.

“oh!!! it’s nice to see you!!!”

!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Meanwhile, multiple exclamation points convey much more friendlier, happier tones. Often such things as surprise, excitement, happiness, friendliness. Users typing !! as a punctuation (like I tend to do) may do it as an assurance or to show how thrilled they are to talk. Occasionally !!!! is tacked onto an angry statement to be more of a shout, but I see it less and less.

Chatspeak and Internet habits

Shortenings of words have been a regular thing for ages. It’s easy, convenient, and gets the point across quickly. But the internet has taken it to a new extreme, where sentences can be almost entirely compromised of them.

“wtf r u talkin abt?? gdi man idk wuts even happening rn”

A character wanting to be quick to respond, always on the ball, always involved, may be more likely to utilize and understand chatspeak. They’re the social butterfly of the group. It’s also a sign of a long-time internet lurker who’s aware of what the lingo is, and how to use it. A complete lack thereof points toward either an older user or someone who’s unused to social media.

The more memes, the harder someone is trying to fit in. Or maybe they’re easily amused or just absorbed things from their friends without thinking about it. The comedian of the group is going to know the best ways to use them.

Smilies and Emojis

:D D: :DDD // :3 3: >:3 :3c // :o :O O:<

These kinds of smilies have always struck me as the most friendly. Whether used in devious ways or with genuinely heartwarming intentions, the playful, lightheartedness of the user really shines through these.

"not a bad way to spend a lazy day :D”

“it's also my birthday :3″

It’s got just the right vibe to punctuate a sentence that’ll leave the reader feeling that the person likely means no harm or wants to be friendly, positive, or encouraging. I’ve met a lot of people that use these and turn out to be very kind or considerate people.

:), ;), ((((: and related

A long time positive, friendly smiley.

"You said you've known them a long time? I think they would understand. :)”

And yet these days I tend to associate it with passive aggressive statements, plotting, slyness, devious behavior, or anger. Older users may be inclined to use :) as a means to show their emotional state, but newer users seem more inclined to do the opposite. The more parentheses there are, the more upset the person, it seems.

“man don’t u love it when the power’s out in the middle of the night it’s just (((: really great thanks (((((:”

Then the ;) smiley comes off more specifically flirty and a bit playful. Doesn’t seem to change much there.

“if i find a good chance 2 hook u up ill do my best ;)”

The bane of my teenage existence. It’s a more old school sign of laughter, rarely seen in today’s world due to falling out of favor and becoming associated with, “LOL Rawr XD Tacos I’m So Randoom,” culture. But time to time you do see it. Mostly with sarcasm but sometimes with genuine intentions.

“xDddddDDD

It was a good joke. XD”

A character using it genuinely comes off more playful, and to me, personally, as an older person who’s genuinely unaware of the associations with the smiley itself trying to show how they laughed without using LOL.

Letter/Character smilies

Y’know, things like .w. and ._. or owo, where the letters or symbols make a face. These are fairly popular, it seems. I don’t like using them myself, but know a few who do use them.

"I'm sorry that they can be mean qmq”

It’s a different feel from the others. There’s something soft to it, almost a gentleness. When these or Japanese characters are used, there’s more whimsy. It’s cute and almost a bit feminine. It may convey an open person or give the impression that said person is easier to talk to.

Though honestly I can’t see uwu and owo as anything but heavily sarcastic. I’ll be honest with you.

Emojis

The first rule of Xurkitips club is that we don’t talk about Emoji Movie. Just putting that out there riiight now.

Used sparingly by most for fun and for emphasis. Characters may use them to be lighthearted, aesthetically, joke, or to make a conversation more flavorful. The use of emojis may determine a character’s personality; I find that characters who use hand emojis like 👌 are rather laid back, those who use 🙃 do it passive aggressively, and we all know what kind of person uses 🍆.

Then there’s what in common terms known as, “The DudeBro”:

[MFKNSTARBOI]: the thing i never undstood about hair is why people buy shampoo like regular soap not good enough for you LMAO 😂😂😂

[gostones]: .

[BIGDICKTOYOTA69]: what the fuck man

[ahogekun]: do... you not use shampoo

[MFKNSTARBOI]: aaaah you guys got sucked into big shampoo as well 😔

[MFKNSTARBOI]: When it comes to horses 🐎 the stars in the sky ✨ or just man to man no bullshit advice 👬 IM youre guy 😤😂

I think this one speaks for itself.

#writing advice #milo's writing advice #writing tips #CRY THROUGH😭💦💦THE PAIN😢😩😩BUT KEEP GOING👀💯💪THE HUSTLE 😈👌NEVER ENDS🕛🕧🕟🚫STUDENT ATHLE

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ma9l · 5 years ago

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Opinion Series: Instagram and It’s Effects on Depression

1st audience: Influencers

Source 1: Why Social Comparison on Instagram Matters ://ezproxy.uvu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=edsgao&AN=edsgcl.586241540

Source 2: Why Instagram is the Worst Social Media for Mental Health https://time.com/4793331/instagram-social-media-mental-health/

Source 3: An Instagram With No 'Likes' Could Have A Big Impact On Mental Health. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/instagram-hiding-likes-mental-health_l_5cd092d3e4b0548b735e50bc?guccounter=1.

YOU ARE HUMAN TOO

How do you do it? How do you always look happy and put together? I would dare say that it’s definitely not an easy task trying to appear like your life is perfect and that nothing is wrong, when in reality you are human just like the rest of us. You have your own struggles that you face, but you can’t bear the thought of losing followers and so you fake a smile to present a pleasing image for the world. What really goes on behind the scenes of Instagram? I’m sure what people see online is not the real you-at least not entirely…

INFLUENCER OR ROLE MODEL?

You are the role models of the future. Teenagers adore you so much so that they want to be like you, which is great and all, but not when it leads to feelings of depression and insecurity. “Research has shown that people compare themselves with those they perceive as having positive characteristics (upward social comparison) out of a desire to become more like their comparison targets” (Hwnag) This kind of practice can bring about feelings of depression because they are constantly feeling inferior and are aiming for an unrealistic goal.

MAINTAINING THE IDEAL

The pressure is ever heightened for you to maintain an ideal status. The atmosphere is very competitive. You sponsor products that you don’t actually use, get lip injections that you don’t even need, and for what? The money? There is a common phrase that states the following: “money can’t buy happiness.” Maybe it can temporarily, but pretty soon, it loses its value. Similar to how you receive positive reactions from followers, which at first is exciting and makes you feel good, but then you realize they have no idea who you are. What if that was taken away from you? What if you couldn’t see how many people liked your posts? Well, a test run was performed in Canada to see how the experience for Instagram users changed by taking away the visibility of likes. A participant named Sarah Roberts said this: “Personally, I love not seeing the like count. It feels a bit weird to say, but I’ve stopped comparing myself to bigger accounts. I’ve also been more personal with the things I actually like versus what everyone else is liking. This feels like more of what Instagram should be rather than an advertisement of ourselves on our page.” From your point of view, as an influencer, I would guess this wouldn’t have the same effect on you. In fact, it would probably reap a lot of havoc with in you to not see how your followers are responding because you wouldn’t know how well your posts were doing and most importantly, wouldn’t be able to tell if they were being influenced at all when that is the sole purpose of your account. Something interesting to keep in mind in regards to the comparison aspect of your followers relation to your account, is that studies have been done comparing those who follow strangers and those who don’t and compared how it affects them mentally. It turns out that “People using Instagram or other SNS to keep in touch solely with people they know personally are not at risk for negative consequences… However, following strangers may lead to or reinforce already existing negative feelings about the self by triggering negative social comparisons.” (Lup)

2nd audience: Utah Moms

Source 1: “Can Your Instagram Photos Reveal You’re Depressed?” https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/can-your-instagram-photos-reveal-you-re-depressed-ncna794041

Source 2: “Does Social Media Cause Depression?” https://childmind.org/article/is-social-media-use-causing-depression/

Source 3: “Why Instagram is the Worst Social Media for Mental Health”

https://time.com/4793331/instagram-social-media-mental-health/

EVALUATE USAGE

Utah mothers of teens: does your child own their own smartphone? Do they have personal social media accounts? Are you aware of what they do online? What about how much time they spend scrolling? These are just a few basic questions that may be helpful to consider when you’re wondering why your teen is acting “off”. Sure, you can blame it on the hormones or claim that they are just “going through a phase”, but are there other factors that come into play? Certainly! A lot of parents monitor their children’s phone usage, but a fair amount do not. Because so many teenagers are glued to their phones most of the time, and pay more attention to their devices than anything else in this technology driven world, some parents may feel like their relationship with their kids is being hindered. The phone is a distraction, and an interference that can create a gap between a teenager and the amount of face to face interaction they engage in with others. They may seem distant or hard to reach. They may seem irritable or annoyed when asked simple questions. This could very well be because of the negative strain they’re receiving from an endless array of information across social media-more specifically, from Instagram. Did you know, that Instagram ranked the highest in social media platforms that contribute to anxiety and depression? Right up there with Facebook and Snapchat. (Macmillan) Instagram tends to pressure individuals to meet a certain standard or obtain a particular ideal which adds more stress to the lives of teens who are already bombarded with stressors like school, friends, work, etc.

HOW TO HELP

In the NBC article “Can Your Instagram Photos Reveal That You’re Depressed” it talks about a computer program in the works that is able to spot depressed people just by scanning their Instagram photos. This could be helpful for parents like you if your child isn’t very open about his/her life. You shouldn’t rely on it to give you an accurate diagnosis, but if their posts are looking dark, it could be a sign that something is up. The article suggests you bring it up by saying something like: “I noticed you’re not eating and not going out as much. You’re spending hours on the screen in your bed, you seem really tired — like you’re not sleeping well — and you have a lot of dark pictures on your Instagram.”....... Then ask your child, “Have you noticed that, too? Do you feel any different?” This way you aren’t necessarily accusing them, you are just stating the facts and checking in. A couple other tips are advised in the article “Does Social Media Cause Depression”. Try the following: focus on balance, turn off notifications, set a good example, teach mindfulness, and enforce phone free time before sleep.

UTAH

Obviously in Utah there is a unique dynamic with the large majority belonging to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Now, whether or not you fall into that category, you probably still agree with me when I say there is a distinct standard for how people parent in our state and it entirely revolves around the family. Your family means everything to you. I can’t even imagine, being a mother and having all the concerns and worries that you do for your children, hoping that they don’t get screwed up or lead astray. That is a heavy burden to bear. Finding the balance between being too strict and too carefree is tough! So while keeping an eye on your children and their social media use may be another stressor for you, let me reassure you by saying “you are doing better than you think you are!”

3rd audience: “The student”

Source 1: No More FOMO: Limiting Social Media Decreases Loneliness and Depression.” Journal of Social & Clinical Psychology http://web.b.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.uvu.edu/ehost/detail/detail?vid=0&sid=acf0bc8f-62a2-42ca-a54c-5fb0eabe7791%40pdc-v-sessmgr05&bdata=#AN=133426611&db=pbh

Source 2: Instagram: Friend or Foe? The Application’s Association with Psychological Well-Being. http://web.b.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.uvu.edu/ehost/detail/detail?vid=0&sid=cd3ba391-56c3-46b9-97d5-383a27d2d6fa%40pdc-v-sessmgr02&bdata=#AN=2019-53246-004&db=psyh

Source 3: Is Social Media Hurting Your Mental Health? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czg_9C7gw0o

ARE YOU “LIKED”?

How does it feel when your phone buzzes, notifying you that your latest Instagram post just got 50 more likes? Do you feel the gratification and approval from your peers? Do you feel important and liked? What about when you post something and it doesn’t do as well as you hoped? Do you immediately take it down because it’s embarrassing or do you shrug it off and say “My next post will be better!”? Either way, most people your age are trying to find themselves and fit in so what you post tends to be influenced by your peers. You care about what they think because you don’t want to ruin your reputation. Am I right? Some of the most common mental illnesses these days are depression and anxiety, especially among youth. A lot of studies have been done in order to confirm or deny whether the hypothesis that social media plays a role in our overall well being is true or not.

INSTA ON THE COLLEGE CAMPUS

“The Center for Collegiate Mental Health found that the top three diagnoses on University campuses are anxiety, depression and stress. Numerous studies from the US, Canada, the UK, you name it, have linked this high social media use with these high levels of anxiety and depression.” (Parnell) I don’t know about you, but as a college student, I can relate with this. Even though we are all on our own journey to success, a lot of us tend to worry about how we are doing compared to others even though they are taking an entirely different route that is not even relevant to us at all and then end up feeling sorry for ourselves because we see how much good is happening in their lives and how much they are achieving by viewing their social media posts. Why do we do that? They have nothing to do with us, nor do their feeds depict real life. They could have failed an exam just yesterday, but never posted about it so you had no idea and then turned around and posted about passing one the next day which is all you saw. It’s all about sharing the highlights and the positive moments in life online so people will like you and think you’re cool.

HOW MANY USERS?

“As of March of 2018,... 71% of young adults used Instagram” (Hunt) I would consider young adults to be between the ages of 18-30, so your typical college student. The numbers may be slightly off due to the slight advance in time to today, but roughly 70 percent of young adults use Instagram. That is a pretty good majority. With this high of a number, it wouldn’t be surprising for at least some of the app’s users to face problems with it.

INSTAGRAM ANXIETY

In a scholarly article titled “Instagram: Friend or Foe”, it uses the phrase “Instagram Anxiety” to describe how one might feel in their online engagement with the app. “Instagram anxiety was associated with both depression and anxiety. This specific form of anxiety refers to feeling anxiety symptoms about specific processes involved in using the application. It may also be that users who feel anxious about posting pictures or receiving feedback may also tend to feel more anxious in general.” Anxiety and depression go hand in hand. You may not be diagnosed with either illness, but you have probably still experienced some of their symptoms-especially if you use social media often. I know I have. Now, we are all imperfect and all make mistakes so it’s no wonder we beat ourselves up about not having the ideal Instagram account like so and so does, but we have our agency and we can choose to use it more wisely. “Is social media hurting your mental health? The answer is: it doesn’t have to.” (Parnell)

#socialmedia #family #mentalhealth #technology #anxiety #depression #parents #students #influencers

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abstractlesbian · 7 years ago

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oh right i forgot to send u an ask game ask uh my emojis dont work but 1- what was your best hospital stay (if any) 2- whats ur pain metaphor and 3- what/how do u experience mania and actually also 4- is there anything u want to signal boost? if all of those are irrelevant or dont apply to u then whats ur most surprising diagnosis

tw: abuse, fathers, hospitals, suicidal ideation mention, medication, disordered eating, self harm, addictionBest hospital stay: uh honestly the time I was in the psych ward for suicidal ideation/effexor withdrawal/avoiding my dad who was screaming at me and breaking things BC my effexor withdrawal symptoms angered himIt wasn't a wholly positive experience but I met some older nd / mentally ill women who were very sweet and encouraging and I also met this really nb person my age and they would write me messages on post it's and hand them to me through out the day (anything from encouraging statements to random thoughts they wanted to share)While I was staying there people were very supportive of me calling some of my experiences traumatic/abusive and it was so helpful and validating to finally start using hose words And i also met an older gay man who told me that things I said in group therapy about feeling guilty for participating in and not objecting to homophobia when I was a closeted kid/teen really helped him and we talked about internalized homophobia a bitI really liked the meal plan there and just... Having someone else being in charge of my food intake was super helpful for me BC I skip meals a lot for various reasons and I often really miss being in a situation where people were making food for me and making sure I ate and eating with other people who were struggling and chatting with them at meals Pain metaphors I use: um I guess I use drowning a lot ? I have a lot of physical symptoms from anxiety and i guess a lot of the pain metaphors I use are based on those ? So drowning, my chest feeling foggy / full of water / like it's being crushed, feeling like my stomachs on fire, feeling like I'm sinking in quicksand, feeling like I'm floating away from my body etc Ive written some (imo) pretentious poetry about my trauma and symptoms and I've used like lots of weather metaphors (uncontrollable shaking anxiety/panic response = earthquakes, stuff like that) And one time I took that chart from lilo and stitch where lilo draws stitches food and badness levels and I replaced it with "trauma level" and "space reserved for future trauma" Mania: so uh not sure if I've experienced mania. Every therapist/doctor/psychiatrist since seen since I was 15 has asked me about it (usually after I talk about something I I've been experiencing an they pull out the Mania Checklist™) and that makes me wonder if I might experience it? But I don't think I have? Based on the times I've been asked about it by professionals, the times I've done self diagnosis tests, and hearing about my friends experiences with mania/hypomania/bipolar disorder. I hit some of the symptoms of mania at times but not enough I think? Things I want to signal boost: I'm really enjoying the book "organizing solutions for people with ADHD" it's already make lots of big improvements in my life! I also recommend looking into ADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria, learning about that was life changing tbhAlso the Loop Habit Tacker app on android has been very helpful. It lets you create as many daily/weekly/monthly checklist items as you want and helps you track your streaks. I use it to track meals, my medication, sleep habits (wake up time and hours of sleep etc), how many sick days I take at work, and loads of other stuff. I also list every day as good or bad. I've been using it for over a year and it helps me see how healthy behaviours improve my mood and bad behaviours worsen it (which should be obvious but it helps to see "oh I skipped my meds and three meals in the past two days no wonder I'm so messed up, time to get back on track" ) Sober Time is also a good android app, its good for tracking addiction / self harm recovery goals. It has an optional social feature if you want support from other users, it's fully customizable and you can track as many different addictions as you need to, and you can set it up to send you notifications when you reach milestones and/or occaisonal encouraging messages

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mutually-screaming · 5 years ago

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for death and he

Fandom: Homestuck

AU: Godstuck, but with more cults

Chapter(s): 1/2/??

Ship/Pairing: Dirk/Lil Hal

Summary: Hal needs to feed to survive at this point in his everlasting life. Being a god isn’t easy, especially not when you have virtually no followers. But he’s not god now. He’s a leech. And he needs Dirk to be his host if he wants to survive any longer as a god.

AR: Ever wonder what happens when everything becomes void, Dirk?

Maybe that's enough internet for tonight. One second you're watching someone showing you how to make your own pasta, and the next you're getting religious bots asking you what you think happens after death. Hm. Dirk couldn't say he was a fan. But he was curious.

His laptop remained in his lap, closed, but he stared at it, almost as if he was waiting for it to do something. It wouldn't. But part of him wanted a response to him closing it rather than just the silence that was ensuing. He didn't want to open the laptop back up and find a million pop ups for porn games or whatever viruses do to wreak havoc on electronics these days. If this even was a hacker. It totally had to be a bot.

Nonetheless, despite every fibre of his body not wanting to do it, he slowly opened back up the laptop.

The bright light emitting from it felt blinding in the dark room, but once his eyes adjusted, he noticed two missed messages from this possible bot.

AR: Don't be like that.

AR: You know I'm just trying to be friends. Do you know what a friend is? Chums? Pals? Best bros?

Dirks mind was a mess of questions right now, he didn't even know where to start. Who was this guy, if not a bot? How did he know his name? Why was he asking him about ascension? What the hell does ascension even mean? He could feel his hands shaking a little bit, more out of shock than fear, and quickly got to work on a response.

TT: I don't even know who the hell you are. How did you get my Pesterchum handle?

AR: I wouldn't ask that. But I get that you've got questions. Next question!

The red text seemed to appear almost milliseconds after Dirk sent the message, and the answer was frustrating. Ok. Be a cryptic asshat. Now that he thought about it, this guy was probably a troll. That still didn't answer why or how he got his Pesterchum handle, but he pressed on.

TT: Ok be like that then.

TT: Are you a bot or just some dickhead behind a computer? Because at this rate I'm guessing you're a dickhead behind a computer and I'm gonna have to let you know that you should fuck off.

AR: A little bit of both.

Ok so that was a crock of horseshit, but alright. Dirk didn't believe him. But then again, Dirk was pretty steadily headed down the route of whatever this guy says to him he's going to argue it.

AR: I should probably introduce myself if we're going to get to know each other. I'm Hal, or dickhead in and behind a computer. You've probably heard of me.

AR: You seem like a comfortable guy who might be looking for more, yeah? You're just going through life, clock in, clock out. School, friends, eat, sleep, repeat. The same radically monotonous routine day in and day out.

AR: Don't you want to ascend?

There it is again. Ascend.

TT: Whats that mean.

The response came almost immediately. Three chunks of words sent almost all at the same time in separate messages.

AR: Have you ever thought of being reborn? Reincarnation is one thing, but being reborn into a higher tier of human existence is another. Dying is eminent but your life after this one is forever. You can live on. Become a higher being, a greater being than everyone and everything before you. There is no need to fear when you have ascended your moral realm.

AR: Now, I know that this sounds like bullshit, I get that a lot. But aren't you even curious? You're a smart guy I think, someone who can tell what's a lie and what isn't, but I am telling you the truth here, ascension is one incredible thing. I can show you. For example, I've ascended. I've ascended this gross plane of existence and have become so much more. Don't you want that for yourself?

AR: I can show you how to be a god, Dirk. You have the skills and abilities to create yourself into your best version of yourself here on the mortal plane, sure, but let me show you how to ascend. How to become more than just a college student so bored of his life that he can't even sit through a single fucking party. I can show you how to become more than what you are.

Goosebumps had risen on Dirk's skin. This was officially creeping him out. Whoever this guy--Hal--Hal was a fucking weirdo. He didn't like the fact that he knew what was going on in his life, and he especially didn't like the fact that he knew his information and he especially didn't like the unsolicited encouragement to 'ascend'. That was uncomfortable as hell. His stomach felt sick.

And yet, he prodded further.

TT: So you apparently have my information and clearly you want me to ascend too, but what if I don't want to? Because I don't know about you, but continuing to exist on this 'mortal realm' is a pretty enticing idea my dude. I don't think I really want to ascend with you.

AR: You will.

Yeah right dude, Dirk thought to himself. Hal was a creeper and a weirdo and quite possibly an unholy combination of the two or whatever, that he didn't want to deal with. Glancing at his clock, it was now almost one in the morning. Well, seemed like as good of a time as any to turn it in for the night. Fuck this guy.

TT: Yeah alright dude whatever. Have fun creeping people out or whatever, I'm going to block you.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering autoResponder [AR]

Dirk waited a second, awaiting another instantaneous response from Hal like he had been receiving, and when that response didn't come, Dirk shrugged and blocked the other from messaging him again. What a fucking weirdo.

Closing his laptop, he set it on his desk with his glasses on top of it before sinking down into the comfort of his pillows on his bed, closing his eyes to sleep. That night it didn't take long for him to knock out, but the last two words that that Hal guy sent him still floated around his head as he faded into sleep.

You will.

Yeah, alright buddy.

It's warm, but Dirk feels goosebumps on his flesh as he stares up at the wooden throne, built from knotted roots and decorated with gaudy jewels and layered with intricate gold designs. He's on his knees before it in seeming veneration, his head tilting down as the figure from the throne steps forward him. The figure is too beautiful for words, there's literally no way to describe it other than otherworldly. More than gorgeous and too ethereal to be stunning.

Its hands are soft as it reaches down to cup his face with its long slender fingers, thumb gently rubbing against his cheek as it tilts his face up for him to look at it. As his eyes flutter open, his gaze travels up, along the slim curves of its body -- his body -- as he looks up. Dirk knew him, but he didn't recognize him. It felt like he's known him all his life. The figure, no, the god, was stunning, his ruby red eyes staring down at him, smiling a smile full of razor sharp teeth. He's beautiful, but he's crying. His ruby red eyes are crying scarlet tears, and they drip down on Dirk's cheeks, his forehead, his lips.

Dirk can taste the iron on his mouth as he tries to reach up to wipe the tears from the other's face. He wanted him. He wanted to join him. He wanted to be him.

The god's nails begin to dig into his cheeks. Slowly but surely grabbing his face harder and harder, his nails puncturing his skin as he pulls his face closer. It doesn't hurt. Dirk finds, he actually likes it. His mouth is slick with blood as he stares into the other's eyes as the god opens his mouth.

"You will."

Dirk woke up.

His body was drenched in sweat and his stomach felt like it had twisted itself into a knot. He also had a hard-on. What the fuck was that dream?

He didn't want to think about it. He felt...gross.

Scratching his head, he sat up in bed. He didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to think about that weird ass dream that he could feel already fading from thought, and he especially didn't want to think about why it fucking gave him a boner. Nope. Fuck that.

He felt sick. A hand pressed against his sweaty forehead, but it didn't really feel too warm in the sense of being sick. Just that it was hot in his dorm.

Grabbing his glasses off of the desk next to his bed, he slid them on and turned on his phone, checking his notifications.

A text from Roxy.

hey sorry for the laet text i didnt see yours. ill see you tomorrrow!

A notification from his grades app. Nothing important there.

And two Pesterchum notifications.

Dirk felt his stomach drop, remembering the eerie conversation he had the night before, and he tapped on the notification, opening them up.

autoResponder [AR] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

AR: Good morning. Not gonna lie, I'm a little hurt. Kind of looking to be friends here. Thought you could use some anyways considering what your current social circle's looking like.

AR: Anyways, I should let you know you're not getting rid of me that easy.

Dirk stared at the red texts for a good five minutes. No, no, no, he blocked this douchebag. He could remember going into User Settings and blocking him.

He didn't feel good.

Staring at the message for a good while longer, he felt sick; dropping his phone, he quickly made his way towards the bathroom, before dropping down and sticking his face into that porcelain throne, puking his metaphorical guts out.

#word soup #for death and he #dirk strider #lil halxdirk #lil hal #hal strider #homestuck #homestuck fanfic #fanfiction

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eejytcxt · 6 years ago

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Heathen

2 months since my last post, I have been living my life and feel a lot about people. Since that, I’ve been skipping my gym for 2 months and nevertheless my weight is decreasing. The question is, is it good or not? Taking a chill pills on everything. I noticed that I choose not to read so much things. Last April, I was thinking I have recovered from my past. When I said my past, I do mean my illness. Dark dark illness.

It started when I found one twitter account, telling about her Schizophrenia. From her, I found a lot of other with depression people who wanting to kill their selves. I went through following these guys in order to know more or to, you know, relieve the feeling so I know that I’ve been recovered. When first I read their tweets, I felt that they had lose their selves, the way I did before. “How heathen they are having thinking like that”, says arrogant me. Then, a flop during a straight walk occurs to me.

It was something that we all knew will happen. You know when someone just came into you free fall and hanged you awhile, and you thought that they will keep their hands on you but, no they didn’t. With gravity force, they let go you and you fall harder this time. Almost hitting the earth but since you have some prevention kit (which you already took with you the day they come), you fly little bit lower than before. So I sail my wings, following the flow. It starts to feel the toxic fume since then. I forced myself not to feel, not to think, not to have bizarre weather inside. I continue living....

But since the fall, this brain sending so high signal waves. Maybe I sad. I’m. Then few things internally occurs, taking credit here and there, and yups, I start to feel down again. Guess, I’m not really recovered. It still there. when I read some of the tweets, it ignite the feeling more this time. Until I found myself handling my first project, at Kuala Lumpur. I’m submitting the project to end user, so I have to fight the best for my career. Few things happen to be short, and I found myself upon edge of self-losing. The last night of staying, I found myself stressing more than I should. I started to hear that voices again. This time, he wants me to jumps from level 32 of Berjaya Times Square hotel. I was lying alone with noises from Television and just done with my “netflix and chill” series. My phone receive so many notifications but pretending to be asleep is better that time. I was still laying, try not to lose myself. Try to be rational with his voices inside me. - “What happen if you jump?” “you will be more relax if everything end right now” “you know, the world can stop awhile when you jump” “it is hurt? you question it? if you wanna know, you have to try. jump! then you’ll know”-

I close my eyes, trying to recollect my little pieces. Where my strength has gone? Where is the spirit? Why do he (the voice) come again? He is not invited. I was a little worried. Not that really bad. Everything should be fine once again. Will it? or it will? right?

I was not scared like the last time he whispered. I wasn’t crying like before. I just numb and colors starts to fill my black version. Yes, second stage of getting hype with your mental is seeing yourself flying to the air with dancing colors around you. So, then I float with heavy brain, and busy mind. Don’t know what it takes, don’t know what time has beaten me to sleep, then I just lose myself and blend with my surrounding.

This is the first time after the last time it occurs. The last one, when I was still under steroid, and it more, more hurt than this one. But, this one triggering me since I thought I’d survived. No, i’m not. He’s still around, then I realize how I have been rejecting people, I let their hands off me, I let myself fall once again. It is me, who dejecting everyone who come to stays with me. I’m sorry for them. sorry for being such a complex person like this. Sorry for being sick and not able to be happy for myself.

I don’t want to take any credit, I wasn’t diagnosed with any mental illness. I was never been in any counselling session about my mental health. And I remember that last time when I took myself to counselor, (in hope she can help me) I was not really having any anxiety. But, the drugs do play thing here. After diagnosed with some sort of critical illness, I was under drugs and couldn’t think straight. Those days, were the darkest days of my life. I wish, I will never having a thrice relapse. Well, I have to be in good weight for this to happen.

My point is, I’m not sharing this to told you how was it to be me. I’m actually wanna says that somehow negative things around us play significant role to our health. As to me, I’ve been skipping my gym which increase my stress since I have stop channeling my over power inside me somewhere better. I have been caught up with mental tweets that really release bad fumes, which making me looking for that particular part I’d buried in my yesterday. Dealing with contractor and senior engineers whom I refer as hard-headed and looking down on women engineers somehow strengthen my negativity inside. I also have been in a circle with bad-mouthed college that have been stressing me since the first day I started working. Internal factors of myself dealing with people with being introvert is not easy and it harden you in socialize yourself. Sort of things occur and I found myself dead upon force relation people. I’ve been trying to avoid as much as contact with anyone. I just don’t know. Part of me wanting to have people around me and another part of me don’t want to have any. It hard when it comes like this. Like you stop telling people what’s happening since they stop listening.

Tired with all these. Advising whoever read this not to involve with bad circle. Try as much as you can to avoid any sad feeling. You know you can cry but don’t stay in sad feeling too long. I’m finding the remedy for myself since I know, I can recovered. I had done this, will once again conscious with better reliever. InshaAllah.

Sorry that this post is something related to myself as I can told people what actually happens in my life lately. I wrote, as I know nowadays people is not really like to read. There is pleasure knowing that and the fact that no one ever fancy my life, it always a secret when I wrote things. People won’t bother to know. In another post, I’ll share some more realible and knowledge content. Maybe about something I like to do or something I read. Sorry that now I cannot still reading any. It so hard to explain me right now. So, till next time. Bye~

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male-emporium · 7 years ago

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The Sunday Series Vol. 5

Happy Sunday! We took a break from our Sunday Series last week because of the holiday, but we’re back today with a new list of things we learned or were inspired by this week. As always, please feel free to share your Sunday thoughts in the comments, too!

Julia – Last week I had the honor of attending a lunch for Good Friends of the Lowcountry, a non profit organization in Charleston that raises money to help local low-income families who are in need. During the lunch, they had a few people come and speak who had been directly impacted by the organization. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room after they finished telling their stories and how they’ve been able to overcome some of their hardships with a little help. During one of the speeches, there was a quote that really stuck with me, and this is not word for word, but my takeaway of it- “It all starts with one woman. Many of us can look at our successes in life and pinpoint at least one woman that was there for us, believed in us or helped us.” Often times I think we can feel that as a single person, there isn’t much we can do to make a difference. When we look at all of the hurting and illness and violence in the world, it feels overwhelming to the point of not knowing what to do. This lunch was a great reminder that a single person can make a difference. Whether it’s a monetary donation, or a donation of time and support, there are ways we can directly impact those around us who are in need. Even if we’re only able to help one person, that one person can end up making a difference, too, creating a ripple effect to even more good. It was incredibly touching and moving afternoon and made me want to find out ways I can connect and help with the community even more.

Thomas – Poor Snapchat, their “little” app only has 178 million daily users, an audience level that other companies would kill for, yet due to extreme competition from Instagram Stories, they are in desperation mode. This week they announced a major redesign of their app, the biggest ever, they claim. So the big question is, will this change propel Snapchat back in place to be an even more serious competitor to Facebook and Instagram?

Instagram Stories now has nearly double the daily users of Snapchat Stories at 300 million vs. 178 million. Now with Snapchat’s redesign, which they are claiming separates the social from the media, they emphasize having friends on the left and media (brands, publishers, influencers) on the right. Snapchat is making a big bet with the hopes of capturing more and more of their current user’s time and getting back to the user growth rate that their investors expect. They believe that our private conversations between friends should co-exist as neighbors with professional content creators instead of having them compete for attention in the same feed.

My guess is that this strategy will pay off in the short term, and it will bring back people willing to give Snapchat another try. But I believe the key to sustained success will be the right side, the media, part of the equation. There will have to be enough incentives for professional creators to care enough to figure out novel ways of participating on Snapchat in ways that they aren’t the same as Instagram Stories. Big publishers like magazines, television networks, and large content sites, will easily participate, hiring teams to support these efforts but the key will be if influencers most with no teams at all will come back.

Despite being the foundation of what Snapchat is built on, they can’t just rely on more messages being shared among friends. That’s because a significant factor in revenue growth is how long users spend in the app, which allows them to serve more ads. New messages between friends will serve as the notifications on people’s phone that bring them back onto Snapchat continuously throughout the day, but people don’t talk to hundreds of friends at once, so the right side, the media side will have to keep people engaged on the app longer.

If this strategy pays off for Snapchat, don’t be surprised if Facebook and IG follow. In smaller countries, Facebook has already experimented with placing content into a separate Explore Feed for Business pages vs. the standard feed for friends you follow.

We spend a lot of time on our phones, so social media is not necessarily a winner take all space. But there’s not much room at the top and Facebook has no interest in sharing. Best of luck to Snapchat, who knows if they will succeed, but at least they are making things interesting for those watching. I might even go back to using it as an audience member and maybe eventually as a contributor. What do you think about Snapchat?

Laura – I recently found out from two of my closest friends that they’re each expecting their first baby! Ah! They’re friends from different periods of my life so they don’t know each other but they each delivered their news to me around the same time. One of them has decided to not find out the sex of the baby until the day she goes into labor and the other friend hasn’t figured out what she’s having yet. However, I want to jump on the chance to get each of them gender neutral congratulatory gifts that are unique, cozy, cute, and fun for either a boy or girl! So I thought I’d share two pointers I keep in mind when looking for the right find; tips you can use if you have any pregnant friends too! First off, I don’t want to take the neutral part too literally especially when it comes to the color of the gift because it may feel a little boring if all the items are a muted tone. Instead, I look for fun patterns mixed with soft textures.

You can’t go wrong with polka dots especially in the cozy form of this darling baby blanket (in flax) and this dreamsack in silver (the babies in this picture melt my heart). I love the stripes on on this bodysuit and this baby gown in a grapefruit color that is so different from the usual neutral and works for a boy or girl! And lastly, you have to keep the little ones extra warm with wool in this burnt orange cardigan (another great new neutral!) and this adorable bobbled sweater!

I’d love to know if you have any favorite go-to shops or accessories for gender neutral gifts! I have a feeling I will need to be shopping for lots more of these with the size of my friend group.

Margaret – This Sunday, I don’t have a new find or update in a certain area of interest, but I do want to share a few reminders for the holiday season. I tend to grow overwhelmed with the planning, gifting, and events and forget to enjoy the simple wonders of the day-to-day. In a season that is meant to bring joy, all of the good things can quickly lead to anxiety (not finding the perfect gift, outfit, feeling as if you’re not doing enough). In the midst of the rush, I want to slow down and be mindful of how I am exerting my energy. This is a special time that sets the tone for the upcoming year. Here are a few thoughts that shed light on the meaning behind words often found on Hallmark cards this time of year:

Peace: A way I often find peace is by journaling, beginning or ending the day with time to reflect. By writing down fears and uncertainties, I am better able to face them. One way we can extend peace to others is by mending broken relationships. There’s a reason why the last scene in Home Alone, when the elderly neighbor reconnects with his family, is so heart warming.

Joy: The holiday season is meant to bring joy, and the world needs a bit more of it. There are most likely areas in your life where you’ve been a bit half-hearted or apathetic. There’s no better time to identify those areas and fill them with the joy of the season.

Hope: Many traditions center around ‘belief’ and ‘hope’. Childlike belief in your dreams, that you can make waves, conquer fear – I think we can all rally around that kind of belief. We can share hope by serving others as well, The Salvation Army Angel Program is one I love.

Love: There are simple ways to love others this time of year. Here are a few ideas: Celebrate a neighbor with an easy homemade gift, reconnect with loved ones and old friends through a Christmas card so they know they’re on your mind, share a smile and word of encouragement to those working long hours. Sometimes, the perfect gift is a simple action to show you care.

The post The Sunday Series Vol. 5 appeared first on Gal Meets Glam.

First found here: The Sunday Series Vol. 5

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jeremyau · 8 years ago

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The unbundling of email at work

Every tool that sets out to kill email ends up sending it instead.

This is a guest post by Mathilde Collin, the CEO of FrontApp, who are happy Intercom customers. Mathilde read our previous article the future of email, wrote a follow-up article asking why innovation in email is so hard, so we invited her to share her thoughts on the subject here.

Email is an incredibly powerful tool, diverse and resilient. Email is easy to use, fast, delivered instantly all around the world. Email is cheap: send one or a thousand for – almost – the same price. Email is an effective marketing tool, allowing for direct conversations between companies and customers. Email is standard, open, universal. It’s been around since before the web, since before the Internet, in a sense.

And it’s still around.

What Jobs does Email Do

Email is the Swiss Army knife of our online activity. We use it for personal communication, collaboration, file storage, customer support, as a calendaring tool, a marketing channel, and much, much more.

For all these applications, email just works, but most of the time it is not perfectly suited for the task. The same goes for a Swiss Army knife. It’s a good tool when you don’t know what you really need and have to cope with various situations, but as soon as you need something more specialised, you have far better options. A chef won’t cut meat with a Swiss Army knife; a carpenter won’t work wood with a Swiss Army knife; etc. They quickly turn to the best tools available to practice their arts.

Let’s look at what we use email for (at work):

Team collaboration

1:1 team communication

File storage & communication

External communication

Customer communication

Email is a handy tool to quickly take care of all of this, but it is far from ideal. As time passes and a business grows, email is more and more ill-suited for those tasks. Actually, many companies have noticed how email gets twisted and bent and decided to provide us with better alternatives. Here are my favourite picks.

Alternatives to email

As you go deep on any given use case, the need for structure arises quickly. For example, email ‘works’ for recruitment, but doesn’t work as well as Workable. Email ‘works’ for sending invoices, but not as well as a purpose built invoicing tool. The more specific you understand any given job, the better equipped you are to design for it. Here’s some examples.

For Team collaboration

When you work on a project with a team, you’ll maybe use email to make requests, ask questions, remind each other what everyone is working on, and send documents back and forth in a never-ending table tennis match. But you’ll soon get lost, trying to piece together critical information, unable to decide what to focus as the signal-to-noise ratio plummets. The tools you are looking for are things like Slack, Yammer, Asana, Trello or Basecamp.

For File storage & communication

Everyone, at some point, has sent empty emails to her own inbox, with some kind of attachment to keep track of the current state of a file, share it with others, and access it from another device. That’s not the ideal way to handle files. You’d better put them into a structured, searchable, tool – maybe one with some access management capabilities. A tool where files can be shared and modified more easily than email typically can. This is Box, Google Drive, Dropbox, etc.

For Customer communication

Email is a privileged channel for connecting with prospects and customers. During the first months of your company you can use it and you should use it. But as soon as your business grows, it becomes really hard to scale and you’ll need to find products to reduce your workload. You can use email marketing tools to send thousands of emails and track the results, and products like Intercom can automatically message your users as soon as they meet certain criteria.

For External communications

Every time an email is sent to one of your company addresses (contact@, support@, job@, sales@, press@ etc.), it will probably be redirected to every team member involved with the matter. This is when the mess starts: no one knows who said what to whom, it usually ends up in dirty CCs, failed BCCs, unaddressed client requests, and so on.

If you receive a high number of emails on one of these inboxes, specialized software like help desks for customer support or recruitment softwares should take care of this load for you. If you’re looking for a light solution to keep every team member in the loop, you should definitely use Frontapp.

For 1-to-1 communication

1-to-1 email communication actually covers two very distinct forms of communication: personal and professional. For personal communication, email has already been replaced by social solutions like Facebook, Whatsapp, Viber, and the rest. The benefits of those services over email are clear to all. But for professional conversations, I think email is still dominant. It’s the default professional means of communication, it’s standard, and it’s expected. There are new mobile business products such as TigerText and CoTap, and side features of existing products such as Slack & Yammer that offer an alternative. However, any alternative is inevitably non-universal, and will fall back to email notifications, which is why why email will remain.

Conclusion

Even if you start using those tools, email won’t be replaced any time soon, for three organic reasons:

Most of these products build features on top of email

When something noteworthy happens within those tools, guess what? You’ll receive an… email notification 😉

And you’ll receive it right away, because you’re hooked 24/7 to your email inbox: it’s still the go-to solution for professional 1-to-1 conversations.

So while email may unbundle from a jobs and workflow perspective, it will be ever-present as the most universal reliable notification channel, upon which the new products will be based.