#i think hes aware of being in love with him from the tower scene tho | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luv-beam · 1 month ago

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HI TARA!!! my thoughts while reading are under the cut :'))) but i gotta say that i fall in love w ur writing every time i read something from u:

• i would like to start off w the fact that u set the scene so incredibly well, like im in awe and envy at this beautiful scene ur painting for us 😭 not to mention that it all flows really well too; just a strong opening paragraph

• awwwh PLS THE BIG BROTHER LITTLE SISTER DYNAMIC!!! when the little sis thinks the absolute world of her big bro :'))) and when she's even more mad than he is LMAO the TOAD LINE??? damn seokmin i was not aware of ur game

• lowkey i would have folded that fast too if duke lee seokmin of lancaster played along and kissed my hand

• this starting line ^ crazy good... like i'd like to sear this into my mind so i never forget it?? the social szn unfolds like a delicate fan??? adding another layer to the tapestry of ur life??? lee seokmin????

• HE HAS AN UNCANNY ABILITY TO ELEVATE THE ORDINARY UGHHHHH WHAAAAT A LINE i love that so, so much and it's so true as well

• awwwh yn and seokhao's goodbyes are so sweet :'')))) im so glad they all hold so much affection for one another

• "your penchant for wool is far more than my eyes could bear" im cryingksnfkdnjf seokmin sulking over the wool while he's away,, sometimes i like to imagine him as a damsel draping himself out of the window sill of a tower

• i love how yn describes herself feeling empty while hes away like heh... i know something u dont... heh :))))) and crocheting? me too!!! so cute that she made him smth

• TARA U R A MASTER AT IMAGERY!! the opening lines of age 15 are mwah chefs kiss like if i could draw/paint, i would literally turn this fic into a graphic novel for u

• tulip... brb while i burst into tears

• started grinning like an idiot while reading this ^ i can see his playful melodrama and the smile on his face,,, im so down bad like i would fold like a lawn chair if we played around like this irl (i say as a grown ass woman)

• oh how i do love the classic brushing of the limbs that gets the mcs blushing like hell... also love what u did there w the planting seeds in ur mind to decode later while they're literally planting flowers... i see u tara u genius

• oh wow the total 180 w the reveal of the duke's death (also seokmin addressing her as my dearest tulip TT) — thinking of seokmin entering the social szn as a recently-made duke and all the girls hounding after him in his fresh grief......

• this section (seok and hao just got back after the death reveal) is short but so bittersweet. like when u give seok the swords from the flower bed and he just kind of chuckles like yes... days gone by huh... UGH

• it breaks my heart to know that seokhao now have their dead fathers as something in common 😭😭😭 its sweet tho to know they're all looking out for each other. im w yn tho, i hope hers and haos relationship isnt negatively affected by this :'))

• THE RETURN OF THE TAPESTRY METAPHOR

• okay i have to confess something... this is my second time reading thru... and so im reading the part where minghao and yn talk in the garden and he's warning her of the whispers springing up abt her and seok and im like... freaking out bc i KNOW WHAT HAPPENS 😭 IM GNAWING MY FIST LIKE IK THAT HAO'D CONCERN IS SINCERE AND IM JUST SJFNKENFKFJF THIS SCENE HOLDS SO MUCH MORE WEIGHT DURING A REREAD (why i love comparing my thoughts btwn a first and second read tho, like u see things /differently/)

• i love the teasing and sweet assurances in the letters 😭 like they're so genuine and cute (rip minghao)

• AHHHHH THE SMOKING SCENE FROM SZN ONEEEE i like this change of dynamic tho instead of being btwn siblings, it's now btwn two love interests friends

• WE CANT ALWAYS HAVE WHAT OUR HEARTS DESIRE???? WHILE LOOKING AT US LIKE THAT LEE SEOKMIN????????? HHEHDJDJFJFJKFKFK

• sure sure fencing BUT YEARNING TO FIND LOVE?? BUT MY DEAR SIR?? YOUR GRACE, YOUR LOVE IS RIGHT NEXT TO U

• THE LONGING AND ASPECT OF THE FORBIDDEN MAKES THE SMALL DISTANCE BTWN U YAWN LIKE A CHASM AHHHH THIS PASSAGE!!!! like oof... i love angst and yearning like this, where im screaming at my phone screen to just kiss her already (knowing the... perilous journey ahead... heh...)

• friend.... FRIEND???? brb gonna go waltz into oncoming traffic

• oh the way this ends 😭😭😭 like my heart is being squeezed,,, the way he whispers tulip and the roots of ur love for him take hold UGGGHH!!! I CANT DO THIS

i will have to endure for another day tho and i will return for chapter two tmrw! i loved this even more than the first time i read it (and i loved it a lot then too)!! i was really able to sit w ur words this time, and i do have to say tara that u have such a talent for imagery, like omg this was so beautiful TT but thank u for writing this!! hope ur having a lovely day/night and i'll be back o7 💖

The Somerset Affair | Chapter 1: Whispers in the Garden

pairing: lsk x fem!reader genre: Bridgerton AU, friends to (?????) to eventual lovers, brother’s best friend, SLOWWWW BURNNN chapter wc: 8.2k warnings: alcohol consumption, societal expectations, eventual smut, more to be added a/n: CHAPTER 1 IS FINALLY HEREEEE // as always, ENORMOUS thanks to indi @wongyuseokie for this GORGEOUSSSS banner // and to my lovely betas shu @welcometomyoasis lou @tusswrites haneul @chanranghaeys this could not have happened without you // 2nd chapter will be up soon!!!

summary: lee seokmin is a scoundrel for having beaten your brother at fencing. or... is he?

comment to be tagged when chapters are posted, or join the fic taglist here!

Age 8

Mayfair is alive today. The Somerset estate hums with energy, a ripple of excitement passing through the gathered crowd, their eyes all fixed on the fencing match taking place in the wide, manicured garden. The afternoon sun casts a golden haze over the scene, warming the air and wrapping everything in a soft, honeyed glow. Laughter and chatter float like music across the grounds, underscored by the occasional ring of steel clashing against steel. The sweet fragrance of roses drifts on the light breeze, mingling with the fresh scent of cut grass. You sit near the front, your small hands gripping the edge of your chair, bouncing with excitement as you watch your older brother, Minghao, spar against a boy you've never seen before.

This new boy stands tall, his dark hair tousled in the breeze, and a sharp determination shines in his eyes. The way he moves—it’s confident, with an energy that seems far beyond his years. Your brother, usually so self-assured, falters as the boy steps onto the mat. A flicker of unease passes through you, twisting in your stomach. You can feel the tension, see it in the way Minghao adjusts his grip on his sword. The match begins, and every time the swords collide, the sound reverberates through your chest. Your heart sinks a little more with each point your brother loses, and soon, the inevitable happens—the newcomer disarms Minghao with a flourish so smooth it draws gasps and murmurs from the audience.

"Such skill!" someone whispers, while others erupt in applause, their cheers filling the air. But you remain still, arms crossed tightly over your chest, brows drawn into a deep frown. How dare this boy defeat your brother? And so effortlessly! You want to scowl, to hold on to your anger, but the sound of the crowd’s cheers washes over you, making your resentment grow.

Seokmin—that’s his name, you overhear—steps forward, offering Minghao a hand, his smile wide and bright like the afternoon sun. "A splendid match, my lord," he says, his voice rich and full of youthful pride. "I must confess, I didn’t expect to come away unscathed!"

You narrow your eyes, watching as your brother, ever gracious, accepts the handshake. There's a mixture of admiration and annoyance in his expression, a good-natured acknowledgment of defeat. They exchange lighthearted jests, their laughter mixing with the lingering applause. But you? You're fuming. This boy, with his easy smile and seemingly endless charm, had just bested your brother, and you feel a burning need to dislike him for it.

Then, as if sensing your discontent, Seokmin turns to you, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Ah, you must be Lord Minghao’s sister?” he says, his grin widening into something playful, teasing. “Goodness, you make him look like a toad by comparison!”

Your mouth drops open in shock, a wave of indignation rushing through you. How dare he say such a thing? And worse—how could your brother laugh? "I beg your pardon?" you snap, standing as tall as your small frame will allow, arms crossing even tighter across your chest.

"Oh, I mean no offense, miss," Seokmin chuckles, clapping Minghao on the shoulder. "I jest, of course! Merely saying that you’re far lovelier than your brother—though, admittedly, it’s not a particularly high bar."

Despite yourself, your scowl begins to soften. There’s something about the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, the lightness in his voice. It’s hard to stay angry when he looks at you like that, as if daring you to join in on the joke.

“Mama says men who try to charm without revealing their titles aren’t to be trusted,” you counter, lifting your chin with defiant pride. The quip comes out sharper than intended, but you’re determined not to let him get the better of you.

Minghao gasps, hands raised in mock horror. “Sister, truly, must you always speak so boldly?” He turns to Seokmin with an exaggerated sigh. “Please Seokmin, do forgive her. I assure you, turning eight has done little to improve her temperament.”

“You’re only two years older than me, brother!” you huff, your voice a touch more indignant. Before you can continue, though, Seokmin drops into a low, dramatic bow, the movement exaggerated and theatrical.

“The fault is entirely mine, my lady,” he says in mock seriousness, rising and extending his hand toward you. “Lord Lee Seokmin, future Duke of Lancaster. At your service.”

Two years of etiquette lessons flood your mind, and with a sudden burst of excitement, you place your small hand in his. Seokmin bows once more, this time dropping a playful kiss on your knuckles as you curtsy. You can hear Minghao’s exasperated sigh as he rolls his eyes, but you ignore him, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

Maybe Seokmin isn't such a scoundrel after all.

As the day wears on, you find yourself watching Seokmin from the corner of your eye. Despite your earlier indignation, there’s something undeniably captivating about him. You notice the way he treats everyone with kindness, far beyond what’s expected from someone his age. When a younger child stumbles near the fencing ring, it’s Seokmin who rushes to their side, kneeling in the dirt, his voice gentle as he asks, "Are you alright?" He helps the child up, brushing off their clothes with such care, you can’t help but be touched. "Fear not," he says, a smile returning to his face, "you’re not a toad—you’re a knight in training!"

The sight makes your heart soften further. How could someone so infuriating also be so kind? The lines of irritation you had drawn between you and Seokmin begin to blur, shifting into something more like curiosity.

As the sun sinks low, casting a warm amber glow over the estate, you find yourself gravitating closer to where Seokmin and Minghao stand, their voices rising and falling in animated conversation about fencing techniques. Seokmin’s laughter, bright and carefree, fills the air like music, and before you know it, you’re smiling too; there’s something undeniably magnetic about him.

Despite your best efforts, you can no longer deny the strange fluttering in your chest—a curiosity, perhaps even fascination, that you hadn’t expected. Maybe, just maybe, Seokmin isn’t such a scoundrel after all.

The days of the social season unfold like a delicate fan, each gathering adding another layer to the tapestry of your life, and with every event, Seokmin becomes a constant presence. He is no longer just an occasional guest—he’s a breath of fresh air, his laughter ringing through the halls of your family’s estate, turning even the dullest moments into something lively and bright.

The lively soirées your parents host become a stage for his effortless charm. Ladies in the latest fashions exchange flirtatious glances in his direction, while gentlemen engage in animated debates about politics and sport, the buzz of conversation always punctuated by Seokmin’s easy laughter. His presence transforms these gatherings, turning what once felt like routine social maneuvering into vibrant affairs filled with warmth and genuine joy.

Whether he’s lending a hand to your mother in the garden, his sleeves rolled up and face relaxed in concentration, or sparring with your brother in a friendly match, Seokmin has this uncanny ability to elevate the ordinary. What might be a simple afternoon stroll or an idle conversation becomes a moment of significance when he’s around. Sun-drenched afternoons spent wandering the estate take on a new glow, each moment painted with the sound of his voice, the infectious energy he brings.

Age 14

The day Minghao and Seokmin leave for Eton is etched in your mind with vivid clarity, every detail sharp and impossible to forget. The morning is cool, yet the sun spills across the courtyard in golden rays, casting long shadows from the trees that sway gently in the breeze. The scent of dew-laden grass mixes with the faint perfume of your mother’s rose garden, but even the beauty of the estate feels muted by the melancholy lingering in the air.

Minghao, ever composed, stands with the straight posture expected of him, his hands clasped behind his back, looking every inch the young man ready to step into his responsibilities. His face, though calm, carries the weight of leaving home, but he hides it well, his eyes betraying only a flicker of the emotions swirling beneath the surface.

Seokmin, on the other hand, struggles more visibly with the impending farewell. His usual cheerful grin falters, the lightness of his presence dimmed as he glances between you and Minghao. He tries to keep up his usual charm, cracking jokes that feel just a little too forced, his laughter not ringing as true as it normally does. There’s a vulnerability in his eyes, a softness you haven’t seen before, as if he’s trying to hide his own sadness behind that well-worn mask of joviality.

As they load their trunks into the carriage, a heavy knot forms in your chest. You know you’ll miss your brother, but it’s Seokmin’s departure that stings deeper. He’s been more than a friend these past years—he’s been a constant, a steady warmth you’ve come to rely on. His laughter, his easy charm, the way he could turn even the most mundane day into something special. The thought of him being gone, of not seeing him wander the estate with his boundless energy, makes your heart ache in a way you didn’t anticipate.

You step forward, your fingers trembling as you reach for Seokmin’s hand, your grip tighter than intended. “Promise me you’ll write?” you ask, your voice barely more than a whisper, each word trembling with the effort to hold back tears.

Seokmin’s eyes soften as he looks down at you, his usual grin giving way to something gentler. "Of course," he says, his voice steady but quieter than usual. He squeezes your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a gesture meant to comfort. “I’ll make sure you get the best letters—no boring stories, only adventures, I swear.” His grin returns, albeit a little weaker. "Besides, my lady, your brother and I will be back to torment you again come springtime!"

Minghao coughs politely. “No tearful goodbye for me, sister?” he asks, his voice teasing, but there’s an undercurrent of affection in his words. His eyes flicker between you and Seokmin, amusement tugging at the corners of his lips, though his posture remains upright and composed as ever.

You tear your gaze from Seokmin and offer your brother a watery smile. “Do not fret, dear brother,” you say, a bit of your usual wit returning. “I’ll save the tears for later, when the house is quiet without the two of you causing chaos.”

My Dearest Y/N,

I trust this letter finds you in fine spirits, though I daresay it is far more likely that you are wrapped in the cozy embrace of your favorite blanket, lost in a book, while the world outside continues on its merry way. I cannot help but smile at the thought, for you have always possessed the rare gift of finding joy in the mundane.

Eton is quite a spectacle, I must confess. The architecture is enough to make one feel as though they have stepped into a storybook. However, I must admit my fellow classmates lack the charm and wit of my beloved friend.

Oh, how I miss our little chats! It is a curious sensation to feel so far from home, yet I am bolstered by the knowledge that you are there, keeping our little world intact. Do tell me that you have not yet taken up knitting—your penchant for wool is far more than my eyes can bear.

Yours most fondly,Seokmin

My Dearest Seokmin,

Eton sounds positively enchanting.I must admit, the thought of you amidst all that grandeur brings me no small measure of joy—though I do hope you have not yet been swept away by the grandeur of it all! I find it impossible to imagine anyone there being quite as dashing as you.

Life here, as you suspected, is a touch quieter without your vivacious presence. I feel compelled to admit that I found myself rather melancholic the day you left. It was a curious sadness, one that clung to me like a shadow. The house feels a touch emptier, and while I do find solace in my books, nothing compares to the ease of our conversations. The warmth of your laughter is a melody I find myself longing for, especially on the coldest evenings.

Do keep writing, dear friend. Your tales from Eton are the very lifeblood of my days, and I shall regale you with the ongoing drama of our little realm. Until then, consider me your most devoted fan, ever eager for your next missive.

With all my affection,Y/N

P.S. You will take great pleasure in knowing that I have, in fact, taken up crocheting. A lovely cap, perfect for early springtime chill, awaits you at the estate.

Age 15:

Seokmin’s return each spring is as reliable as the first crocus peeking through the thawing earth, marking the true end of winter. His arrival is never just an event—it’s a burst of life that sweeps away the dullness left by the cold months. Every year, your excitement bubbles over as you anticipate that familiar moment when the world feels a little brighter with his return. The sunlight bathes the garden in warmth, a golden hue spreading like liquid over the well-trodden path he walks down, Minghao beside him. Their laughter floats through the air, a melody that harmonizes with the soft rustle of blooming flowers and the hum of spring.

When they finally come into view, your heart quickens, as if drawn into the rhythm of their steps. With Minghao’s ever-amiable grin and Seokmin’s radiant energy, they are a pair that seems to make the world tilt just a little toward joy. Every spring, it's the same—they stride toward you as if no time has passed, as if the long months apart were nothing but a brief blink in the grander scheme of your lives. And each time, the three of you fall into the same routines as though nothing has changed.

It usually begins with some mischief. They never fail to poke fun at you until you’re red-faced with exasperation. Seokmin, with that teasing glint in his eyes, will say something absurd or playfully condescending, and Minghao, ever the instigator, will back him up with a sly smirk. It’s only a matter of time before you lose your patience, yell, and stomp your foot, your protests ringing louder than you’d intended.

Your raised voice inevitably draws the attention of your mother, who reprimands you from the kitchen window with her usual fond disapproval. "Now, now," she’ll chide, a soft laugh hidden in her voice. "There’s no need to shout, dear. They’re only playing."

Of course, that’s the cue for Seokmin and Minghao to burst into laughter, doubling over in amusement at how easily they’ve ruffled your feathers. You scowl at them, but it’s hard to keep a frown on your face when they’re both so gleeful, their joy infectious, lighting up the entire garden.

One afternoon, not long after their return, Seokmin and Minghao find their old practice fencing swords—long forgotten and buried deep in the flowerbeds, peeking out from beneath the tulips. You watch as they unearth the swords with a mixture of surprise and amusement, both of them laughing as if uncovering a treasure trove of memories. Their faces are bright with nostalgia as they pull the dirt-encrusted weapons free, brushing off the petals clinging to the blades.

It's then that Seokmin starts to call you "Tulip," a private little nickname he utters only when it's just the two of you. The first time he says it, there’s a lightness to his tone, his lips curling into that mischievous smile of his. “You know,” he says, leaning in closer as you both watch Minghao attempt a ridiculous fencing stance in the distance, “it only makes sense. After all, you’ve been hiding our swords with the tulips. I think ‘Tulip’ suits you.”

At first, you roll your eyes, feigning annoyance, but there’s a warmth in your chest at how easily he’s assigned you such a tender nickname.

One particularly warm afternoon, your mother summons you to help her with the flowerbeds, a chore you reluctantly take on. The sun beats down, the heat pressing into your skin and the earth beneath your fingers, while the scent of soil and fresh blossoms hangs thick in the air. You sigh, resigning yourself to the tedious task when, suddenly, a familiar voice cuts through the stillness.

“Ah, the fair lady in her noble endeavor!” Seokmin’s voice rings out, full of his usual playful grandeur. He strides through the garden gate, sweeping an imaginary cape behind him with exaggerated flair. His smile is as bright as the sun itself, lighting up the whole space. “Fear not, for I shall be your loyal squire in this quest for botanical beauty!”

Despite your earlier annoyance, a reluctant smile tugs at the corners of your mouth. Seokmin has a way of making even the most mundane tasks feel like an adventure. You watch as he bounds toward you, his movements light and full of energy. With an exaggerated show of determination, he rolls up his sleeves, pretending to prepare for battle. The weight of the day feels lighter already.

Together, the two of you dig your hands into the soil, your fingers dirty and the air filled with the soft rustling of the leaves around you. Laughter bubbles up between the two of you, mingling with the breeze as Seokmin’s animated voice brings life to the still afternoon. As you plant flower after flower, he regales you with tales of his fencing matches at Eton, his voice lively, arms waving dramatically to mimic the grand duels he’s fought.

“You wouldn’t believe it,” he says with mock gravity, “this boy was at least twice my size, and I won the match with nothing but clever footwork and a flick of the wrist!” He pantomimes the move, his arm cutting through the air like a sword.

You laugh, shaking your head at his theatrical retelling, the tension of the task dissolving with every story. It’s impossible not to get caught up in his enthusiasm. “Is that so?” you tease, barely holding back a grin.

“I daresay, footwork in fencing is quite the advantageous skill,” Seokmin says, dropping to his knees beside you with faux-seriousness, inspecting the flowerbed as though it holds the secrets to the universe. “If one can move with the grace of a dancer, one can—”

Just as he gestures again, his elbow brushes against your arm, and suddenly, time seems to slow. The lighthearted atmosphere is pierced by a spark, a ripple of warmth that travels through you. Both of you freeze, his eyes widening in surprise. His cheeks flush a light pink as he quickly pulls back, his confidence faltering for a brief second.

“My sincerest apologies,” he stammers, the usual brightness in his voice now tinged with uncharacteristic bashfulness. He resumes his work, his fingers trembling slightly as they sift through the soil. The warmth of the sun suddenly pales in comparison to the heat between you.

“It’s quite all right,” you reply, your voice shaky, your heartbeat far more rapid than you’d like. “Just... gardening, after all.” You try for casualness, but the words sound ridiculous even to your own ears, given the charged air lingering between you.

Moments later, you stand to stretch, hoping to shake off the strange energy that has settled over the both of you. Seokmin leans in to grab a nearby tool, and his shoulder brushes against yours again—this time, the contact lingers for just a second too long. The heat of it sends another jolt through you, making your heart stutter.

You gasp, startled by the unfamiliar sensation, your breath hitching. The warmth spreads from your chest down to your fingertips, a strange, foreign feeling you can’t quite name.

“Goodness! I beg your pardon again,” Seokmin says quickly, his sheepish smile returning, though this time it’s softer, more hesitant. His eyes flicker with something you can’t quite place. “It seems I have a propensity for unintentional collisions today.”

That smile—it makes your chest tighten. His presence, usually a source of comfort, now awakens something new within you, something unsettling yet undeniable. Gardening, once nothing but a mundane chore, has transformed into something far more intimate with Seokmin by your side. The flowerbeds seem to flourish under his laughter, vibrant blooms swaying as if they, too, revel in the joy of the moment.

But that foreign sensation? You tuck it deep into your mind, burying it along with the seeds you’ve planted, afraid to decode what it could mean. After all, this is Seokmin—your friend, your constant. And yet, the warmth of his touch lingers on your skin longer than it should, as if it’s quietly asking you to look closer.

My Dearest Seokmin,

I hope this letter finds you in moments of solace amidst the tumult of your recent loss. It is with a heavy heart that I pen these words, having heard of your father’s passing. The news struck me with such a weight, as though the very air around me had grown thick with sorrow. I cannot begin to fathom the grief you must be experiencing, yet please know that my thoughts and prayers are ever with you during this difficult time.

Your father was a remarkable man, a beacon of kindness and integrity, and his absence will undoubtedly leave a profound void in the hearts of all who had the privilege of knowing him. I remember fondly the stories you shared, of his wisdom and warmth, which have clearly shaped the exceptional person you have become. His legacy, I have no doubt, will endure through you.

With his passing, I know you now bear the title of Duke. While this new responsibility may feel daunting, I have every confidence you will honor his legacy with the same grace and strength he embodied. I want you to remember that you are not alone. I am here, dear friend, steadfast and unwavering, ready to support you as you navigate this uncharted territory.

I eagerly await the day when I can see your smile again, and we can talk about the flowers in the garden, just as we always have.

With all my love and deepest sympathies,Y/N

My Dearest Tulip,

Your letter brought me a flicker of light amidst the shadows that have enveloped me since my father’s passing. It is a solace to know that you, too, share in my grief, and your words resonate deeply within me, reminding me that I am not alone in this turbulent sea of sorrow.

Thank you for your kind remembrance of my father. He often spoke of you with such fondness, and knowing how he impacted your life brings me a measure of comfort. His lessons of kindness and integrity remain etched in my heart, and I strive to honor his legacy in every decision I make as Duke. It is a weight I carry with both pride and trepidation, yet the knowledge of your unwavering support gives me strength.

Though this season feels uncharted and daunting, your friendship is a cherished constant. I, too, long for the day when we can stroll through the gardens, exchanging thoughts about the flowers and sharing laughter, just as we once did. Until then, I will hold onto the warmth of your words and the memories we’ve created.

With heartfelt gratitude and affection,Seokmin

Age 16:

When Seokmin and Minghao return home the next spring, it’s clear that Seokmin carries more than just the usual joy and liveliness he always brings with him. A new weight settles over him, one you haven’t seen before. The responsibility of the Dukedom starts to bear down on him, heavy as the cloak he will one day wear. His laugh remains bright, his smile still warm, but there’s something different now—an unspoken awareness that the carefree boy of the past is slowly giving way to the man he is becoming.

He has grown taller, his limbs long and strong, and the way he carries himself now commands attention. The once-boyish face is now defined, the angle of his jaw sharper, while his arms, corded with muscles, show the signs of hard work and training. It’s as if each inch he’s gained has come with a newfound strength, and when he meets your gaze, his eyes hold a certain seriousness, as if he is seeing everything with a fresh perspective.

The easy rhythm of your old routines stays intact—Minghao teasing you until you yell, Seokmin’s booming laughter echoing across the fields, and the reprimands from your mother when your playful shouts interrupt her afternoon peace. It all feels the same, yet beneath it all, you know things are changing.

On one such afternoon, you discover their practice swords—once lost and forgotten—buried haphazardly in the flowerbed among your mother’s beloved tulips. You pull them free with a gasp, the soil still clinging to the metal, and when you bring them to Seokmin, he chuckles, the sound a little sadder than you remember.

“Well,” he says, wiping the dirt from the hilt, “seems like even the tulips want to keep us from growing up too fast, eh, Tulip?”

Despite the weight of responsibility that now shadows him, he still calls you “Tulip.” The name slips easily from his lips, playful and tender, a thread that ties your past to the present. The quiet nickname carries the bittersweet truth: your days of carefree adventures and playful banter are slowly fading, giving way to the responsibilities of adulthood. And while the world around you shifts, that name—whispered in secret—feels like a promise that some part of him, some part of both of you, will always stay the same.

My dearest Tulip,

It is with a heart full of sorrow that I write to you, upon receiving the most distressing news regarding your father’s passing. The world seems dimmer without him, and my thoughts are consumed with the weight of your grief. I wish I could be there, to hold your hand and share in the memories of a man who undoubtedly brought so much light into your life.

When the silence envelops you, when the days stretch long and heavy with unshed tears, know that I am here for you. You need not wear a mask of strength; I shall not expect it. Life has a way of changing in an instant, and though we are thrust into roles we may not be prepared for, there remains solace in companionship.

Please remember, my dear friend, you are not alone in this journey. I stand with you, ready to lend my support and share in whatever you need.

With the utmost affection,Seokmin

My dearest Seokmin,

Your letter reached me at a time when silence has settled heavily over the estate, wrapping around us like a shroud. It feels as though the laughter that once danced through these halls has been swallowed by a void, leaving behind a hushed emptiness. My mother, once so vibrant, now moves about with an air of resignation, her spirit dimmed as if she carries the weight of the world upon her shoulders. The joy that once bloomed within her seems to have withered, and even the flowers in the garden appear to droop, their colors muted in sympathy for our grief.

I often find myself worrying for Minghao. The new title of duke weighs upon him like a heavy cloak, and I fear that the responsibilities thrust upon him will change him in ways I cannot yet understand. I can only imagine the burden he feels, trying to uphold our father's legacy while grappling with the uncertainties of leadership. It frightens me to think of how this shift may alter our relationship, how he might feel compelled to step into a role that distances him from the brother I’ve always known. I fear I may lose him just as I have lost my father.

Yet, amid this uncertainty, your words bring me a flicker of comfort. The knowledge that you stand with me during this turbulent time is a balm for my spirit. I long for your return, for the laughter and warmth that you bring.

Until then, I hold your friendship close to my heart, a gentle reminder that even in the darkest of times, I am not alone.

With all my affection,Y/N

Age 17:

At the onset of spring, when Minghao and Seokmin return to the estate, the world feels subtly transformed. The air is perfumed with the scent of blooming flowers, yet there’s an unmistakable weight in the atmosphere, a quiet acknowledgment of the changes that accompany their new titles. As dukes, both acquire an aura of responsibility that overshadows the playful ease they once share.

The lighthearted teasing that characterizes your interactions is now less frequent, often replaced by a more thoughtful camaraderie. It’s as though their titles impose a certain decorum upon them, one that even the most mischievous of spirits cannot easily shake off. Their laughter, while still present, bears the faintest echo of seriousness that wasn’t there before.

Yet, despite this change, you find immense joy in their company, particularly when they engage in spirited sparring sessions in the training yard. As wooden swords clash and echo, it’s impossible not to feel a thrill at the sight of them—two young gentlemen, once boys, now embodying a gravity that demands respect even in their play.

The matches become a spectacle, each clash of wooden swords accompanied by shouts and laughter that echo through the estate. You perch on the sidelines, an amused spectator, as Seokmin and Minghao banter playfully between bouts. “You call that a strike?” Seokmin teases, deftly dodging your brother’s advance with a lightness that seems almost effortless. “I’ve seen more ferocity from a kitten!”

Minghao rolls his eyes, the corners of his mouth betraying a grin despite his best efforts to maintain an air of dignity. “One day, Seokmin, you shall learn that mocking your opponent is a perilous game.”

You perch on the sidelines, unable to stifle the laughter bubbling forth at their antics. Each exchange between them is a delightful dance, weaving a tapestry of shared history and unspoken affection. Yet, as you watch, you cannot help but feel a twinge of wistfulness; the exuberance of their banter now seems to emerge from a place tinged with nostalgia.

The sun dips low in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow over the training yard; both young gentlemen wield their wooden swords with a fervor that sends a thrill through the onlookers. You remain at a distance, your heart pounding in rhythm with each clash of wood, an exhilaration mingled with unease coursing through you.

Seokmin, with his characteristic bravado, flashes a teasing grin as he engages your brother. “Come now, my lord! Surely you can do better than that!” The laughter in his voice rings like a bell, though you can’t help but feel a knot of apprehension tighten in your chest.

As the match continues, you find yourself transfixed by Seokmin’s agile movements, the way he dances about the training yard with a carefree spirit. However, just as you begin to relax, a delicate butterfly flits past, capturing Seokmin’s attention momentarily. It is in this fleeting distraction that your brother seizes his opportunity, lunging forward with surprising speed.

“Seokmin!” you cry out, the word escaping your lips before you can restrain it. Time seems to elongate as you watch, breathless, as Seokmin turns just in time to evade the wooden sword’s path. He stumbles slightly, regaining his balance as he casts a quick glance your way, surprise etched upon his handsome features.

With your heart racing, you dash to his side, adrenaline coursing through your veins. “Are you quite well?” The urgency in your voice is unmistakable, for the thought of his injury sends a chill through you.

“Indeed, I am unharmed,” he replies, though the forced joviality of his laugh belies the tension of the moment. “Merely caught off guard, I assure you.”

Yet your heart refuses to calm. “You cannot be so reckless! What if you had been injured?” The fervor of your concern envelops you, and you see a flicker of something unspoken in his eyes as he steps closer, the air between you thick with a burgeoning intimacy. That same foreign sensation – the one from years ago when he had brushed against you in the gardens – ignites within you, one you had tucked away and kept hidden, rearing its head in this moment of vulnerability.

“Thank you, Tulip, for your ever-present concern for my well-being,” he murmurs, his voice lowered as he meets your gaze, the world around you fading into an indistinct haze. Just then, Minghao loudly clears his throat, and Seokmin drops his eyes, a bashful blush appearing on the apples of his cheeks.

You step away, embarrassed, your heart pounding against your ribcage.

Minghao corners you in the gardens that night, the cool summer breeze brushing against your skin as you take a walk, seeking solace from the tempest of thoughts swirling in your mind. The encounter with Seokmin lingers like a gentle whisper, an unsettling mixture of warmth and confusion that dances at the edges of your consciousness, teasing you with emotions you struggle to understand.

“Sister,” he begins, his voice so soft that you nearly startle. In an instant, he presses a hand against your mouth, his finger raised in a quiet plea for silence. “It’s only me, Y/N. I fear you’ll wake the entire estate.”

“It’s your fault for skulking about the gardens like a common thief!” you whisper back, fiercely. “What on earth could possibly require such urgent discussion that you couldn’t grant me one night of peace?”

His expression grows serious, the playful glint in his eyes replaced by an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. “You must be careful, sister,” he admonishes, and in that moment, he seems less like your brother and more like the Duke of Somerset—tall, proud, and formidable. “There are whispers… about you and Seokmin.”

“Whispers? Whatever do you mean?” You search his face for clarification, anxiety bubbling within you.

Minghao shakes his head as if dismissing the very idea of this conversation. A wave of indignation washes over you, eager to burst forth. He may be only two years your elder, yet he still insists on treating you like a child. “Your debut into society draws near,” he continues, his voice measured and resolute. “You mustn’t jeopardize it.”

“But Minghao—” you begin, but he raises a hand, silencing you with a mere gesture.

“Listen. You know how these things unfold. A mere hint of impropriety could tarnish your reputation. I don’t want you to suffer from the kind of gossip that twists the truth.” His tone softens, revealing a hint of genuine concern that pierces through your indignation. “I only want what’s best for you.”

You meet his gaze, the weight of his words pressing down on you. “I am not a child anymore,” you protest, the tremor in your voice betraying a mixture of frustration and uncertainty. “I am capable of making my own choices.”

“Perhaps,” he replies, his eyes steady and unwavering. “But I have a responsibility to protect you, Y/N. I don’t wish to stifle your spirit, but you must grasp the implications of your actions.”

The night air grows thick with unspoken sentiments, and as the stars twinkle overhead like mischievous spectators, you grapple with the tumult in your heart. There’s something about Seokmin that sends ripples of confusion coursing through you, a fluttering sensation that stirs your chest whenever his name crosses your mind. You do not fully comprehend what it is, but it’s undeniably present—a flicker of something more, leaving you teetering on the precipice of feelings you are not yet ready to confront.

My dearest Seokmin,

As I sit here with this pen in hand, I find myself quite at a loss. The arrival of my debut looms on the horizon, and while I am certainly filled with anticipation, I must confess that trepidation dances in my chest, quite uninvited. The notion of standing before an audience of peers—well-bred and well-mannered—fills me with an unease I cannot quite articulate. Will my words tumble forth in a jumbled mess? Or worse, will they fall on deaf ears?

I cannot shake the dreadful thought that I may never find a match. What if I enter that grand ballroom, adorned in my finest gown, and am met with indifference? Will the charming suitors twirl past me, whisking away others while I stand, forgotten, on the periphery? The idea sends a shiver down my spine, as I fear I may spend the evening watching the festivities unfold without me.

As I consider the expectations that accompany my debut, I can’t help but reflect on how you and Minghao have gracefully embraced your new roles as dukes. You carry the weight of your responsibilities with such elegance, while I find myself yearning to flourish in a world that feels daunting. Will I, too, be able to navigate this landscape of expectation and propriety, or will I falter under its weight?

Forgive my ramblings, dear friend. I suppose I am merely hoping for reassurance, a kind word from you. Perhaps if I know you will be there—your presence a familiar balm—I might muster the courage to dance and revel in the splendor of the evening.

With warmest regards and hopeful heart,Your Tulip

My Dearest Tulip,

Your recent letter has landed in my hands like a most delightful spring breeze, though I must confess it carries with it a hint of unease that quite unnerves me. How is it that my steadfast friend, who has faced the world with such spirited determination, now frets over the prospects of the ballroom?

First and foremost, allow me to put your mind at ease. The mere thought of you standing in that grand ballroom, adorned in the finest gown, is enough to illuminate the dimmest of corners. Your charm will be as radiant as the most exquisite of chandeliers, drawing the gaze of all who are fortunate enough to cross your path. I assure you, the gentlemen will hardly be able to focus on anything—or anyone—else.

Now, I cannot let this opportunity pass without a bit of teasing – regarding your step upon my toes during our lessons – I daresay I must bring up a rather amusing memory. I cannot help but recall how you sent both Minghao and me reeling across the room, much like a pair of wayward marionettes! One can only hope that with age comes grace—or at the very least, a better sense of foot placement! If not, I shall be prepared to don the most resilient shoes in all of England.

Worry not, dear Tulip. I shall be by your side the entire season, if you shall have me (although, I am not entirely certain your dear brother will be entirely pleased by this idea).

Your most loyal servant,Seokmin

Dearest Sister,

As I sit at my desk, I cannot help but feel a mixture of pride and exasperation as I pen this letter. Our infrequent exchanges have become quite the tradition, have they not? I find it amusing that as your brother, I am often left to await your words while Seokmin is constantly regaled by your stories.

With your debut looming closer, I feel it is my solemn duty as both your brother and your Duke to remind you of the delicate nature of polite society. Your debut is not merely an occasion to don a gown and curtsy to the queen; it is a rite filled with expectations and decorum. I implore you to be mindful of the company you keep and the propriety that is expected of you as a young lady and the sister of the Duke. I have taken it upon myself to speak to Seokmin, warning him of the same – he has a habit of forgetting his own station in moments of levity.

While I know you must find these constraints stifling, know that the eyes of the ton will soon be upon you, not only assessing your beauty but also your character. You are the jewel of our family, and I trust you will shine brightly, even amidst these expectations.

Write to me when you can, dear sister, even if it is infrequent. Your musings are treasures to your dear elder brother, and I await them constantly.

With all my love, Minghao

Dearest Brother,

I say this with the utmost love and devotion:

Damn you.

(Please forgive my language, and please, do not show this letter to Mama. I fear her admonishments may never end if she hears of my vernacular)

I am acutely aware of the expectations that accompany my debut – how could I forget when both you and Mama loom over me like a pair of hawks? While I recognize your intentions, your words do little to alleviate my anxiety.

Your warning regarding Seokmin only serves to make me laugh. It is amusing, truly, to envision the Duke of Lancaster being chided by my brother on the virtues of propriety. I promise to keep my wits about me and to present myself with all the elegance expected of a young lady of my station (the sister of a Duke, no less!).

I will do my utmost to avoid a scandal – or at the very least, I shall ensure that you do not hear of it. I shall write again soon, if only to unleash more of my exasperation upon you.

Yours, in (implied) rebellion, Y/N (Sister of the Duke of Somerset)

Age 18:

On the eve of your debut, you find yourself seated on the swing in the garden of the Somerset townhome, the night cloaked in an almost palpable tension. The sounds of Mayfair filter through the stillness—a symphony of distant laughter, the soft clatter of carriages, and the occasional rustle of silk skirts—as the ton settles into slumber. The air feels electric, crackling with anticipation, as if the entire world is holding its breath, waiting for the events of the morrow to unfold.

You take a deep drag from the cigarette you swiped from Minghao’s rooms, the smoke spiraling into the night like a fleeting thought. With each inhale, you hope to drown out the anxious fluttering of your heart, a dissonant rhythm that accelerates at the mere thought of tomorrow’s debut.

“Why, Lady Xu Y/N, are you smoking?” The voice breaks through your reverie, causing you to sputter and cough, hastily attempting to conceal the cigarette behind your back. You turn to see Seokmin, leaning casually against the sturdy oak tree that secures the swing, his figure silhouetted against the moonlight.

His presence is both familiar and disarming, the boyish charm of his smile juxtaposed against the weight of his title. “No, Seokmin, I—” you stammer, flustered.

“Shove over,” he commands lightly, and before you can protest, he plucks the cigarette from your frozen grip, taking a deep, leisurely drag. The sight of him—so confident, so carefree—sets your heart racing in a way that both delights and terrifies you.

“What on earth are you doing here?” you ask incredulously, half-exasperated, half-amused.

“I was with your brother at White’s,” he replies, amusement dancing in his eyes. “It was my mistake to forget how little he can imbibe before devolving into an utter fool. I was merely making sure he returned home safely.” His tone shifts, curiosity sparkling in his gaze. “Are you excited for tomorrow?”

“Excited? Hardly,” you grumble, kicking at the scattered rocks beneath your feet. “What my heart truly desires is to run away—pack my things, flee to Paris, and open a quaint little bookstore. Perhaps live out my days as a spinster, surrounded by novels and solitude.”

Seokmin’s expression shifts, a shadow of understanding passing across his features. “We cannot always have what our hearts desire,” he says, his voice tinged with a hint of sorrow as he exhales a plume of smoke. “Sometimes, we must accept that we can find happiness in what we have, not in what could have been.”

You watch the smoke dance and dissipate into the night sky, thoughts swirling as restlessly as the tendrils of fog around you.

“And you?” you ask quietly, the question escaping before you can catch it. “What does your heart desire?”

“Desired,” he corrects, taking another deep drag. “I once dreamed of being a fencer, of dueling beneath the sun. But above all, I yearned to find love.”

Your heart stutters at his admission. His thigh brushes against yours, an electric touch that feels so scandalously intimate you can hardly breathe. You suddenly become acutely aware of the nightgown you wear, the thin fabric doing little to shield you from the heat radiating from his body. If Minghao were to catch you in this moment, you are certain he would demand that Seokmin either marry you on the spot or duel him for your honor.

The very thought sends a shiver down your spine—an improper thought that both terrifies and thrills you. You are a young lady, poised to make your debut, and here you are, perched so closely to an eligible duke, the expectations of the ton looming like a dark cloud. What would society say if they were to discover you in this clandestine moment? The whispers would be deafening, your reputation in tatters, and yet… the thrill of it, the danger, pulls at you like a siren's song.

“And you believe you shall never find it?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I am a Duke, Y/N,” he murmurs, his voice so soft it barely pierces the night air. “Duty must come first. If there is any part of me left, which there rarely is, only then can I pursue love.”

The distance between you feels both impossibly vast and achingly close, the weight of his words pressing against you like an invisible force. You can see the vulnerability in his eyes, the unspoken longing that mirrors your own.

You hum, encouraging him to continue, yet the weight of his words presses down on your chest.

“But how fortunate am I,” he continues, his gaze piercing through the night like a beacon, “to have found such a remarkable friend who stands by me even as duty threatens to drown me where I stand.”

A friend. The word lingers between you, heavy and loaded. Is that truly all he sees you as? The realization sends your mind reeling, your heart racing in an entirely different way.

No, the trees whisper, urging you to reconsider.

Could it be…love?

That foreign sensation, long buried beneath layers of propriety and friendship, now unfurls within you, roots taking hold. You realize with a start that you have loved Seokmin, perhaps from that very first kiss on your hand all those years ago, long before you could articulate the feelings swirling in your heart.

Panic courses through you, and you leap up from the swing as if it has burned you. “It is late, Lord Lee. I must take my leave now,” you stammer, unable to meet his gaze. “I hope you find your way home safely.”

He reaches out, his hand brushing against your wrist, and your breath hitches at the contact. “Wait,” he says, his voice low, almost laced with concern. “Are you alright? You seem... distant.”

His eyes search yours, and you feel the weight of his gaze, an anchor that both comforts and terrifies you. Your pulse quickens, a frantic rhythm echoing in your ears. What would it mean to linger here a moment longer, to let the night wrap around you like a cocoon?

But all the books you’ve read offer no preparation for the heartache that comes with knowing he regards you as merely a friend. A friend, just like your brother. You are his friend, and the shattering realization settles in: he will never love you back.

“Tulip?” he adds softly, the word a whisper that brushes against your skin like the wind.

You swallow hard, every part of you aching to give in, to lean into the connection pulsing between you. But the truth looms like a storm cloud overhead, dark and inevitable.

You love Lord Lee Seokmin, Duke of Lancaster, but he will never love you.

And with that heavy knowledge weighing on your heart, you turn to leave, every step toward your room feeling like a betrayal to the emotions simmering just beneath the surface.

You don’t sleep at all, thoughts consumed by a boy you had once known and the man you now love.

Tagging: @kibs-and-bits @moondustmemories @shinwonderful @ivehypnosis @gwend0lyne @thestoryofana13

#seventeen fic recs #lee seokmin x reader

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 1 year ago

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Rewatched IT (2017) and

God I love these kids

After reading the book twice, I lowkey wish they made an adaptation taking place in the 50s. There’s so much there too… so many random details about these kids and imagine if you made a miniseries… like I am aware they did make a miniseries in the 90s but a new miniseries with more accuracy to the book

Stanley legit always has the scariest scenes both in this movie and in the book. The flute lady is still freaky asf, and the WATER TOWER in the book…

Like honestly fuck the clown these kids are what’s up

I remember so vividly the first time I saw Beverly jump down from the cliff and Richie just screaming ”WHAT THE FUCK” and the whole theater roaring with laughter

It’s so interesting if we tie this in with chapter 2. I’ve only watched chapter 2 once and I had to admit it was very boring for being 3 hours… I think it’s just more fun when it’s the kids, but I need to watch that again.

Also I do remember them having this clubhouse there, which they also did in the book, but in chapter 1 there is absolutely no mention of the clubhouse.

I feel incredibly protective over Beverly especially. She went to live with her aunt at the end of the movie, and I thought her dad was dead, since… well it looked like SHE FUCKING KILLED HIM?? But apparently he did not if we go from chapter 2

Only thing chapter 2 did right tho was expanding on Richie’s fears

The bathroom scene still makes me so uncomfy too

Will always be annoyed that they did not use Stan’s bar mitzvah speech. It was so iconic. It was not iconic when they remade it in C2.

Anyway I kinda wanna made It AUs of random stuff now. One of my first multichapter fics was an asoue it AU, I should make another one with another show or smth.

#it #it chapter 1

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butterflydm · 2 years ago

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wot reread: knife of dreams (prologue - chap 11)

spoilers through knife of dreams

1. The opening quote “the sweetness of victory and the bitterness of defeat are alike a knife of dreams” reminds me of an earlier quote “the only thing sadder than a battle won is a battle lost”. It’s definitely a less annoying ‘omg why are you warning us that nothing will happen in this book’ quote than CoT’s was, tho pretty depressing. Still, I don’t dislike being reminded of the pointlessness of war tho.

2. Checking in with Galad! It’s been literal books. Galad notes that his and his companions’ new ranks were won by fighting the Seanchan but now the Whitecloaks have allied with them. Yeah, it’s a disease that’s going around the whole continent. Galad is going to confront the current heads of the Children of the Light on personal business. I really do think maybe Jordan should have made the Seanchan maybe SLIGHTLY LESS like the Shadow so that it doesn’t feel so much like everyone is losing by winning when they chose to ally with them. In order to defeat the Shadow, they are inviting slavery into their homes, and that is going to damage the next age so badly.

3. Galad calls for a Trial Beneath The Light (trial by combat) against Valda for the abuse (and also he believes the murder) of his mother, Morgase. He found out about what happened from Dain (who heard rumors) and Byer (who could confirm it). I really like this whole scene. It feels emotional and personal and yet because Galad is Galad, he is also making certain to do everything legally and ‘by the book’, so his personality holds true as well.

4. Trial by combat is such a silly way to decide if someone is guilty or innocent of a crime but Galad works with what he’s been given and he KNOWS that Valda is guilty as well as knowing that he himself is a great fighter, so I’m good in going with it. We all know Valda wouldn’t sit still for a real trial. As it is, Valda takes the moment that he and Galad have to talk quietly before the fight to taunt Galad about raping his mother and hoping to get to do it again in the future.

5. Galad learned the flame&void from Gareth and Henre (both people he trained with in Caemlyn, before he went to the White Tower, and embraces the void now. Ooo, yeah, the way he’s described feeling here DOES sound very similar to how Rand feels when he’s in the void and the extreme awareness around him that we kinda associate with channeling. I’ve decided I like the headcanon that Galad is a channeling learner. He IS Rand’s half-brother after all. Also like Rand, Galad is absolutely willing to sacrifice his own life to reach his goal.

6. “Valda’s death was not enough. Nothing except Morgase Trakand alive again could be enough.” Oh, sweetheart. This family, torn apart by the stresses of the winds of change as they have been, do love each other so much when push comes to shove and their backs are against the wall (and once Elayne had matured a bit to get over her resentment of Galad).

7. “Will you write releases for the Children who don’t want to help the Seanchan take our lands in the name of man dead more than a thousand years? What about the men who defended the Fortress of Light? Will any release get their chains struck off or make the Seanchan stop working them like animals?” You tell them, Galad! It is such a RELIEF to read someone saying this after Mat’s terrible storyline in CoT. Galad gets a gold star. Also, acknowledgement that it SUCKS under Seanchan rule even for people who aren’t female channelers!

8. We also get official acknowledgement here that the raven is the symbol of both the Shadow and the Seanchan Imperial family, and Galad and his companions use that in order to turn the Whitecloaks away from Aes Sedai hunting and towards the notion that they need to fight on the side of Light for the Last Battle. I have been waiting and waiting for SOMEONE in book to point out at least one of the Shadow/Seanchan similarities because they have been haunting me for BOOKS.

9. “He had to go. It was the right thing to do.” So we officially knock down the first of the standing figures of our ‘what do you do after you end up picking the crowd that would choose to hurt your loved ones?’ parallel (Galad, Gawyn, and Mat are our three contestants) - Galad goes for removing the head of the organization that would hurt the people he loves and subverting its previously evil/misguided purpose into a good purpose. Well done! A+ to Galad. Sadly, since our other two Evil/Misguided Organizations are headed by women and Jordan has a hard time killing women, I don’t think we’ll see Elaida and Tuon get dealt with the same way. Galad shows more genuine leadership in this one scene than Perrin has shown in all his books as “Lord of the Two Rivers”. And he’s nervous about the idea of being seen as a leader too but he doesn’t marry that with mentally insulting the people following him. He doesn’t think less of THEM for wanting to follow him, whereas it feels like Perrin is constantly judging the people who march under his banner.

(and now we have to see if Galad actually successfully follows through on his intentions here)

10. Okay, we are done gushing over Galad (perhaps excessive but, as I said, it’s just such a relief to be reading about characters who are still fighting back against the invasion of their homeland. but apologies to @markantonys - I know he is the Lesser Brother for you, lol). Moving on to Iturale! We can see if his efforts last book bore fruit. His plan was to ally with the Dragonsworn to keep the Seanchan out of Arad Doman. Haha he’s judging the lax discipline of whatever Seanchan commander is in charge of the town/armed camp that he’s spying on right now. This camp is basically a supply camp for the Seanchan expansion and his plan is to take it out. He draws out the main guards and the sul’dam/damane pair with a feinted attack and then takes them out with a ranged attack from a different direction. It is, again, such a relief to be reading about characters who are fighting back against the invasion of their home. And now that the guards are taken care of, he burns down the fucking supply camp for the Seanchan settlers. SUCH a relief to read about people fighting back against the slaver invasion. Cheers to Ituralde. Please continue to make Arad Doman a bulwark to hold against the Seanchan invasion. He has several more bands that are supposed to be conducting similar attacks across the Seanchan forces in Tarabon.

(I really do wish so much that we’d actually gotten to see MAT doing general’ing like this. Sticking Mat in Ebou Dar feels like we got robbed of so much potential plot that was actually related to the ‘power’ that Jordan gave him (the ancient memories that he literally almost DIED to get), just like Perrin keeps getting stuck in plots where wolves and dreaming are barely relevant. Why would you give characters neat magical powers and then barely have the characters USE their powers?)

11. Now we swap sides and are checking in with Suroth. Jordan finally notes openly again that Suroth is a Darkfriend, after coyly avoiding the subject for books (she was the Darkfriend working with Liandrin in TGH). She’s fretting over Tuon’s disappearance, the rebellion of the Atha’an Miere, and the disappearance of Renna and Seta. If Tuon is dead, Suroth knows that she will be horribly punished for it, even if it’s decided that she wasn’t responsible.

12. Liandrin killed Alwhin because Suroth mentioned off-hand that she was annoying to deal with. Suroth notes how easy it is to forget the presence of da’covale and think of yourself as alone when you’re ‘only’ in the presence of slaves, so she had not guarded her tongue around Liandrin properly. Suroth orders Liandrin to go and have herself beaten by one of her other slaves for the crimes of: delaying giving Suroth a message, calling herself “I” rather than “Liandrin”, daring to meet Suroth’s gaze, daring to question Suroth’s orders, and simply because it pleases Suroth to have her beaten. Amazing how Suroth is actually at her most distasteful when she’s being a Seanchan High Blood rather than when she’s being a Darkfriend.

13. Suroth & everyone else believes that Tylin was killed using the One Power, and Beslan is the new King of Altara. Suroth is annoyed that his servants only offer bows instead of deep prostration. The news that Liandrin had awakened her to receive from one of her generals is about Iturale’s attacks on the camps in Tarabon. 😘😘😘

14. SEVEN major supply camps have been overrun and burned and TWO DOZEN smaller supply camps as well. TWENTY supply caravans have been burned. SEVENTEEN outposts have been wiped out. ELEVEN patrols have vanished. And he’s expecting more reports to come in about others as well. Ituralde, you ANGEL. 😘😘😘😘 Every place was left with the same message by Ituralde’s people (who did their best to avoid civilian casualities) -- Leave Tarabon. 😘😘😘😘

15. We also learn here, off-hand, that there are seven thousand Whitecloak “deserters” - that’s Galad’s work, I bet! 😘 Suroth is in a rage and orders that Ituralde be hunted down by every available force. Honestly, if only Rand had known this was happening. Then HE could have pincered the Seanchan from the east while Ituralde was working from the north, instead of trying to make a truce with the slavers. Anyway, Suroth is considering enslaving all the ‘loyal’ Whitecloaks out of revenge for the desertion of the others. Because it’s so good under Seanchan rule! Suroth’s misery here brings me such joy.

16. Anyway, she now gets a visit from Semirhage. She asks Suroth if she’d like to be Empress. Because she’s Seanchan before she’s a Darkfriend, Suroth cringes at the idea of defying the ‘true’ Empress in such a way. Semirhage breaks the news that she messily murdered the Empress over in Seanchan. Suroth begins crying over the death of the Empress, which baffles Semirhage. Anyway, Semirhage corrects Suroth’s assumption that it was one of Tuon’s siblings that offed the Empress and lets her know that all the rest of the Imperial family is dead too, and half the Imperial Court. Tuon is now the only living member of the Imperial family. Fifty nobles are now contending for the throne and the Empire itself has fallen into pieces (like Artur Hawkwing’s did after he died).

17. It takes Suroth a little bit of time to get over the idea of anyone but a member of the Imperial family killing another member of the Imperial family but she eventually accepts the idea and agrees to kill Tuon so that she can become Empress herself.

18. We switch gears over to Pevara in the White Tower. Honestly every section in the prologue has been a banger so far (and every one better than Mat & Perrin’s storylines in CoT). Actually having characters who care about resisting slavery and the invasion of their home is invigorating. I think I’m going to be disappointed when we drop back into the ‘main’ plotlines, where collaboration is the name of the game lol.

19. We are in a meeting of the Red Ajah and they are talking about the fallout from Dumai’s Wells. The new Highest (they all believe Galina, previous Highest, is dead - which Pevara is relieved about, as Galina was one of the people that Talene knew was also Black Ajah) has received a message from Sashalle, one of Rand’s oathsworn sisters, though since she was one of the ones stilled, her oath to Rand isn’t backed up by the Oath against lying, who writes that she is in charge of most of the sisters in Cairhien. Sashalle blamed everything that happened at Dumai’s Wells firmly on Elaida and she also wrote of the visit of Logain and his Asha’man to the city and confirms that Logain has been Healed of being gentled. She also writes to let them know that she has been healed of being stilled and has sworn an oath to follow the Dragon Reborn until the Last Battle has been fought and, after that, she will submit herself to the White Tower once more. Due to everything they learned here, plus everything else that has happened recently (the huge burst of Power that they believe must have been the Forsaken), they receive permission to go forward with the plan to reach out to the Asha’man to bond them as Warders.

20. After that, Pevara meets with Yukiri on the Black Ajah Hunt business. They are currently feeling like they are at an impass. They were able to discover another Heart of Black Ajah, but the other members are all out of the Tower, possibly with the rebels and they don’t have any new leads. Basically, the Heart structure of the Black Ajah is working as designed to minimize exposure. They also learn from Seaine that what Elaida had ACTUALLY wanted them to hunt out was evidence that Alviarin was in communication with the Dragon Reborn, so their idea of going to the Amrylin Seat gets snuffed out. They can no longer trust that she is not Black Ajah herself.

21. We shift focus to Alviarin, She has learned that Talene disappeared (and thus will not be appearing before the Supreme Council) and suspects this must mean that Talene has been discovered or defected. She suspects Yukiri and Doesine as the ones who discovered the truth about Talene and orders them watched.

22. Ugh, Shaido subplot. Absolutely not. Anyway, Galina is captured by Gaul & Neald and brought to Perrin. He asks her to take a message to Faile and then has them drop her back off near the Shaido encampment. So here is something that I wonder - I wonder if part of the reasons that we got both CoT/KoD and all the main plots felt pointlessly extended out was because there was TOO MUCH PLOT in the two prologues to fit in one book, plus time needed to pass for the prologues. Of course, my solution would have been different from Jordan’s lol.

23. Checking in with Egwene! She’s still in the middle of being taken back to the White Tower, waking up in the carriage on the way there. Egwene notes the mutual hostility between the members of different Ajahs and the stench of garbage in the streets of Tar Valon. Even though Egwene is certain she’s on her way to be executed, she’s determined not to let her captors see her be vulnerable. ...apparently, the ‘defense lawyer’ (Chair of Pardon) for the accused in the trials sometimes faces the same penalty as the actual accused. That is... really fucking weird. I’m gonna blame that one on that Black Ajah.

24. When she is delivered to the White Tower, Egwene is surprised to see Nicola there and somehow does NOT leap to the same conclusion that I did, which is that Nicola is obviously the one who betrayed her. Egwene is told that she’ll be birched and she decides that she will do her best to face it like an Aiel and embrace the pain. Nicola apologises for running away and calls Egwene ‘Mother’ before she rushes off. We learn that Leane was also caught and managed to do half of the south harbor entrance, limiting the size of the ships that can get through, at least.

25. Egwene is told that she’s not going to be executed: she’s going to be a novice again. She tells the Mistress of Novices that she is Aes Sedai due to be Amrylin Seat and won’t deny what she is. The plan with Egwene is to leave her dosed mildly with forkroot during the day and shielded at night and lots and lots of corporal punishment. Before she leaves, she tries to warn them about her Dream about the Seanchan attacking the White Tower and says that Leane can back up her being a Dreamer. There’s something I really do want to poke at about the different ways prophecies get used in this series, but I’m going to let it simmer in my brain for a while, I think.

26. Egwene is taken to a novice room for the night. As she goes to sleep, she slips into the in-between world and waits for Siuan’s dreaming light to appear so that she can drop a warning into her dreams. Now that she knows that Elaida isn’t planning to kill her, she’s coming up with new plans on how to continue her work from inside the Tower. “She did not consider herself a prisoner either. She was carrying the battle into the heart of the Tower itself. If she had lips there, she would have smiled.”

27. Over in the rebel encampment, everyone currently thinks that Egwene is dead, because her boat was found overturned, but Siuan has woken up with renewed hope, because Egwene spoke to her in her dreams. Siuan goes first to Egwene’s oathsworn sisters to tell them that Egwene and Leane are alive and captive in the Tower. Sheriam votes that they Travel down to the cells in the Tower and rescue Egwene and Leane immediately but Siuan tells them that’s not what Egwene wants. Lelaine shows up and tells Siuan to talk to her; Siuan relates Egwene’s instructions and adds that Egwene says that they are going to have a meeting of the Hall in the Hall of Servants in TAR the next night, which Lelaine approves of and finds amusing. Lelaine also tells Siuan that if Egwene is killed or stilled by Elaida, then she wants Siuan and Egwene’s people’s aid in becoming the next Amrylin herself.

28. Beonin is worrying about the mystery of the sisters getting murdered by someone using saidin. We learn quite a bit about Beonin here in her internal narration and it’s all fairly interesting and fleshes her out -- she respects and trust her Warder, she has keepsakes of her (now deceased) grandmother and mother to remember them and what she learned from them, and she’s genuinely ANGRY that the Tower managed to miss so many potential channelers with its old policy, She is astonished and amazed at how many more women there were out in the world who COULD become Aes Sedai and never had the chance.

29. As Beonin heads out on her mission, she sees a ghost like other people having been seeing, and she names it the Dark One’s touch on the world. She puts an illusion on herself and hides her ability to channel -- she plans to go talk to Elaida, so she asks her Warder to trust her and wait in the city for her.

30. Elaida kidnapped the former King of Illian and he is very mad about it. She tells him that he should be grateful that she got him out when she did, because the Dragon Reborn now rules Illian. I do think it’s interesting how the Illian dialect seems to be very similar to the way that the Old Tongue is structured. She tells him that she plans to restore him to the throne in Illian (though her original plan was just kidnapping the actual King; she didn’t know that Rand was going to take the throne).

31. Elaida actually IS trying to figure out how to mend the Tower, but she’s often so busy seeing what she wants to see that she doesn’t see what is actually there. She trusts so few people and has such a short temper. The whole Egwene vs Elaida conflict kinda does feel like it mirrors Rand’s internal conflict against the taint and his PTSD, as I think I mentioned... at the start of CoT? Or maybe during my WH re-read? Can’t remember when exactly. But with Egwene standing in for his inner core of self and Elaida representing the damage that the taint & his PTSD have done to that core. The Tower is split, just as Rand is split.

32. Beonin arrives, and she is here to tell all of Salidar and Egwene’s secrets to Elaida. Beonin has been working for Elaida this entire time, deliberately sent to the rebels to sow discord and try to keep them occupied (so Elaida considers her a fairly big failure, considering their current situation). She tells them that Egwene can enter TAR in her sleep and told the rebels not to rescue her. She shows Elaida and Tarna the weave for Traveling and the one for Skimming. She also gives them the names of the ten sisters who were sent back to the Tower to spread the stories about Logain and the Red Ajah.

33. Ah, the first Forsaken meeting since their big failure at the cleansing, I think this is. Moridin has summoned them. We are in Aran’gar’s PoV. Already present: Semirhage, Demandred, Mesaana, Graendal. They are meeting up in TAR. There are eleven chairs present, which Aran’gar finds puzzling, since Asmodean and Sammael are both surely dead, from what she believes. The place in TAR where they are meeting is a memory of Ansaline Gardens, which was destroyed in the third year of the War of Power. Ah, we learn that Aran’gar has been actively spying on Egwene’s dreams. And Aran’gar was able to spy on the Hall of Servants meeting that Egwene had in TAR.

34. Moridin shows up, with Moghedien and ‘Cyndane’ at his heels in their red-and-black livery. Moridin says that Sammael appears to have resurfaced, giving orders to a hundred Fades to bring thousands Trollocs into the Ways. Moridin also tells them that al’Thor belongs to him and none of the rest of them are allowed to hurt him. During the conversation, Aran’gar figures out that Moridin has Moghedien and Cyndane mindtrapped. In contrast to Rand, Moridin tells them to find Perrin and Mat, who they are welcome to kill. It looks like he’s using the same images of them that were used back during the Darkfriend Social in TGH, because it mentions rough country clothes, which neither of them wear these days. Perrin is “tall and wide, with yellow eyes” and Mat is “not quite slender” with a “cheeky grin”. This is the first time these Forsaken have known what Perrin and Mat looked like, it seems, and Semirhage notes that if she’d known earlier, they might already be dead. Aran’gar, however, still plans to kill Rand.

35. When last we checked in with Perrin, he was planning to sell his soul to the Seanchan to work out a deal to save Faile. Let’s see how that’s going!

...soul selling confirmed! Okay, let’s move on to Faile!

36. Faile, who still has her soul, is working on her own plans. Honestly, if Faile’s storyline weren’t surrounded by so much trash, I would probably like it. She herself is definitely getting the chance to shine, being brave but also willing to be patient. Honestly, at this point in the story, Faile deserves so much better than being married to Perrin. Anyway, she is determined to escape before Perrin gets himself killed in an attempt to rescue her.

37. Our first Mat chapter, so let’s do a theme & slavery check-in!

Characters who were previously strongly anti-slavery in WH:

Mat, Setalle Anan, Juilin, Noal, Teslyn, Joline, Edesina, Thom, Beslan

Characters who inexplicably softened their anti-slavery stance in CoT:

Mat (knows sul’dam secret)

Setalle Anan

Noal

Anti-Slavery characters who haven’t changed their stance as far as we know:

Juilin (gold star for Juilin tbh)

Teslyn (knows sul’dam secret)

Joline

Edesina

Thom

Characters who are focused really only on their own personal freedom and not anyone else’s:

Seta & Bethamin (slaves if the Truth Were Known)

Domon (wants to be free to marry Egeanin)

Characters who show signs of growth and change:

Egeanin (knows sul’dam secret)

These characters remain strongly pro-slavery:

Tuon (knows sul’dam secret)

Slaves:

Selucia, and the horde of Seanchan that are out looking for Tuon

Themes that were set up in Winter’s Heart:

the secret of the sul’dam

questioning the empire

the heir to the empire being a dormant marath’damane

These were completely ignored in all of Mat’s chapters except his very last one, in favor of Mat navel-gazing about his marriage prophecy and Tuon reminding us at every possible moment that she’s a slaver and an asshole. Honestly, it kinda feels like that last chapter of Mat’s in CoT is the only one that should have existed at all, because that’s the only one that actually dealt with anything that was set up in Winter’s Heart. And maybe his reaction to the cleansing could have been in a quick cut-scene along with Perrin’s and Elayne & Aviendha’s.

Anyway, let’s see if Knife of Dreams can do any better than CoT with Mat. I know it has a reputation of being better than CoT but... I don’t remember liking it better, especially in Mat’s storyline. But we’ll see!

38. I’m no longer keeping track of plot points that undermine Winter’s Heart, because it feels like we’ve already completely changed the intended story and Mat’s characterization at this point, so there’s no reason to bother. CoT!Mat seemed somewhat weak and self-serving (though he was obviously still uncomfortable with slavery, at least, but a far cry from his visceral disgust in WH) and came across as willing to look the other way while Tuon does her evil deeds. I desperately miss pre-CoT!Mat. Egeanin, Juilin & Amathera, and the three Aes Sedai are really the only people I find worth caring about in Mat’s storyline anymore. Maybe Thom. Oh! Auldra! She’s worth caring about.

39. Nothing worthy of note happens in chapter six.

40. Chapter seven:

Egeanin is officially going by Leilwin Shipless, the name that Mean Girls (tm) Selucia and Tuon gave her last book to be assholes to her. I will call her Leilwin née Egeanin for now, I think.

God, I really hate CoT/KoD!Mat, who is now pretty much the most toxic male character in the series who isn’t an actual Darkfriend*. Which sucks. Only two books ago, he was one of my favorite characters. But almost any time CoT/KoD!Mat is in a scene with a female character, he’s being SUCH an asshole.

If I’m trying to maintain any kind of throughline between books 1-9!Mat and CoT/KoD!Mat, then I could speculate that he’s taking all his anger and frustration out on the Aes Sedai because he feels like he CAN’T take it out on Tuon, because he’s convinced himself that he is required to respect and trust Tuon as his future wife (no matter how little she deserves his respect or trust) or on any of the Seanchan characters, because they are under Tuon’s wing. But that still makes him a massive asshole, so. Yeah.

Anyway, Bethamin channeled and can’t deny it to herself anymore, so at least we are finally engaging with the themes that were brought up in Winter’s Heart. Teslyn just wants to let Bethamin die from channeling sickness and, tbh, can’t blame her for feeling that way. Bethamin was the sul’dam that was trying her hardest to break Teslyn back when she was a damane. Joline and Edesina insist that Bethamin must be taught so that she doesn’t die. Mat does think that this should put an end to worrying about the sul’dam trying to use the a’dam on the Aes Sedai.

I guess we also find out in this chapter that Rand is having sex with Min instead of doing anything useful like checking in on the Black Tower.

*okay, in fairness, he’s not as bad as Masema is or Valda was. But that’s a PRETTY LOW BAR.

41. Chapter eight:

Aludra has invented cannons (ish? fireworks ‘lofting tubes’ that can be aimed) that she has named ‘Dragons’ and even though Mat doesn’t show much spine when it comes to himself with Tuon, he does still understand that she’s the enemy, because when he tells Auldra that he knows the Dragon Reborn (grew up with him), he makes sure to tell her not to whisper a hint of it to the Seanchan. And Aludra is absolutely wanting to be aiming her Dragons at the Seanchan. I’m putting her on the list, on the side of the good guys. And Mat does make it clear that this point that his goal IS still to actually return to Rand’s armies and lands.

I really would have settled for Mat x Aludra. It never would have been a favorite pairing but it would have been so much better than Mat x Tuon.

Leilwin née Egeanin and Domon get married. This must mean she’s been able to work past the block in her mind that was still thinking of him as a slave, which indicates that some strong progress has been happening with her off-screen. Mat bafflingly assumes that Leilwin née Egeanin would take Domon’s last name when she married him. It’s so weird that this is an assumption by someone in the world of WoT; another of the subconscious influences from Jordan’s own RL culture, I suppose. Anyway, she didn’t.

Mat also does not betray to Tuon that he’s a friend of Rand’s when she tries to figure out if he knows the Dragon Reborn, so, again, he does still remember at this point that she’s the enemy. And Mat also realizes that (given what he knows about the political situation) he will probably have to fight Seanchan once he’s back with Rand and he doesn’t seem upset about it, so he hasn’t gone completely dark side on us. Mat also continues to be terrified that his own future wife will enslave him so. Yeah. Charming relationship. /sarcasm (Mat’s genuine worry and the fact that Tuon has the power to enslave people encapsulates why I cannot read any of Tuon’s threats as ‘flirting’; a slaver threatening to enslave someone is NOT flirting; someone who regularly abuses their power threatening to use their power against someone is NOT flirting)

42. chapter nine:

I do appreciate how much it feels like Leilwin née Egeanin is cutting her emotional ties with the Seanchan. I am glad that there actually was growth from the background characters in Mat’s storyline here, even if Tuon and Mat themselves are a waste of time.

Every passage that involves Tuon leaves me with that same gross “what a complete asshole” feeling that I always get from reading PoVs from Valda or from Darkfriends only she doesn’t even need to be a PoV character to make me feel like I’ve been coated in slime. Mat’s apologetics for her to do the trick. Honestly, marrying Mat off to Tuon really does feel like we married Egwene or Nynaeve off to Valda. It’s such a horrific fate.

Mat thinking of Tuon as “more beautiful than ever” during a moment when she is actively enslaving and torturing people is straight-up character assassination for our guy who used to be the person who cared the most about consent and freedom. Mat Cauthon is dead and it’s so depressing. At least he does go and bury the a’dam after this, but this chapter is a fucking horror show. It’s pretty much as disgusting as “Pink Ribbons” back in Winter’s Heart.

And Tuon does break her word to Mat here, no matter how she dances around it. But she’s a liar, a hypocrite, a torturer, and a slaver, so I’m not surprised by that. She also sounds desperate to believe that she can’t have anything in common with the animals that she looks down on. But, again, Jordan had his chance to actually do something with this storyline for her and chose not to, so Tuon will live and die a person who chooses to do evil things. Tuon says here that she can choose not to channel, just as she chooses not to steal or commit murder. She literally is in charge of an invasion force that is murdering countless people across the Westlands and also had two of her siblings assassinated back home iirc. She’s a thief, too, but it’s a spoiler what it is that she steals later on (I mean, apart from the countries and land that her people are stealing as well). But let it be known: she is a thief. She’s all three of the things that she claims here that she isn’t: she’s a murderer, a thief, and capable of channeling. Everything about Tuon’s storyline is so frustrating because she HAD the potential to be an interesting character in WH and the CoT&KoD just go “nope! she’s gonna be The Worst (TM) instead! and she’s gonna drag Mat down along with her!”

She’s also an incredibly whiny brat here, trying to win Mat’s sympathy over the ~mean ladies~ daring to try to ~talk~ to her and annoy her with their existence, acting just like the child that she keeps telling us that she isn’t, only a child with way too much power. Forget Mat; Olver is the character she should be betrothed to, based on how old she ACTS (she reminds me of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory tbh, only Veruca was, what, like thirteen years old, I think?).

The thing is, I would be fine with Tuon being The Worst (TM) and acting like a thirteen year old entitled brat if Mat (and other characters like Setalle Anan, etc) actually stayed in character and they reacted to her being a brat? But Mat's whole weird thing where he just actively has decided that Slavery Is No Longer Worth Caring About On A Moral Level when that was NOT how he was behaving in WH is just... it makes this entire storyline so bad and out of character. It feels like the narrative (not Mat but the narrative around Mat) just isn’t willing to be honest about what kind of character that Tuon is being written as, and that is so frustrating. Again, it’s the same thing where Tylin was CLEARLY a rapist and yet whenever she and Mat parted ways, all of a sudden the narrative rushed in to reassure us that ACTUALLY Mat likes her just fine and he’s gonna miss her bunches.

Mat finally does admit to himself that Selucia is a slave and not a ladies’ maid. It does not appear to change anything in his behavior.

43. chapter ten:

The fact that Mat continues to ‘court’ Tuon after the horror of chapter nine is... depressing. pre-CoT!Mat truly is dead and gone. I miss Mat so much. I miss him even more in his own chapters than during other people’s. Heterosexuality makes you evil, I guess, is the lesson I feel like we can take from CoT & KoD. (I’m joking. Mostly). Tuon threatens to invade Tar Valon and make it her capital (which would involve enslaving hundreds of women as damane) and he just goes, “oh gosh what a tough little woman.” ??? YOUR SISTER is planning to train as Aes Sedai and you are AWARE of this. TUON WOULD EAGERLY ENSLAVE YOUR SISTER AND FORCE HER TO KISS THE GROUND IN FRONT OF HER FEET. And there is not a single exaggeration in that sentence! You literally just watched Tuon collar people who are JUST LIKE YOUR SISTER and talk about them like they’re not people! You know this isn’t an idle threat on her part! She literally DID it last chapter! Ugh. Jordan screwed up Mat’s character so badly in these two books. Like again, maybe this is supposed to be Mat so deeply in denial that he can’t even access his brain but it’s just... it’s just bad. Again, where is our Shadow Rising energy? Why is Mat a limp dishtowel when it comes to all Tuon-related things?

Leilwin née Egeanin’s character arc is continuing in the background and SHE is growing and changing as a person. She talks to Amathera to try to convince her that she doesn’t need to lower her eyes to anyone and tries to make it clear that she doesn’t see her as escaped property anymore but a person. Very reasonably, Juilin doesn’t trust this change of heart and remains protective of Amathera, who has been through a lot of shit.

Mat re: Juilin - “He disliked any Seanchan, for what they had done to Amathera.” And if you had an ounce of the empathy that Juilin does, you would feel the same. You DID feel the same, back in Winter’s Heart. Fuck, I miss Mat.

*sigh* Leilwin née Egeanin is still punching Domon in the ribs.

Mat reads Moiraine’s letter to Thom and agrees to save her from the Finn. Olver has magic knowledge from Birgitte about the Tower of Ghenjei. How convenient that Birgitte told him all these details. Anyway, handwave ta’veren, etc. Mat does finally tell someone about his encounter with the foxes & snakes -- Thom, Noal, & Olver.

44. Nothing worthy of note happens in chapter eleven.

45. Of the themes that were set up in Winter’s Heart:

the secret of the sul’dam

questioning the empire

the heir to the empire being a dormant marath’damane

We actually do start dealing with some of these themes with Bethamin! Mat is (sadly? hilariously?) basically a side character to the actual meaningful plotline here rather than being an integral part, because he’s way too focused on navel-gazing about his marriage prophecy. But Bethamin, Seta, Joline, Edesina, and Teslyn appear to be having a very interesting plot that is unfortunately mostly happening off-screen, with Mat and Tuon occasionally getting in the way and making things harder for them. And Egeanin is also continuing to question the empire as well, being willing to marry Domon, an idea she had previously struggled with because he was technically her slave and she’s coming to terms with treating Amathera like a person and not a slave as well. And Auldra is doing a sideplot where she is actually helping Rand’s armies. They all have more interesting stories than our actual PoV character has in these chapters.

Honestly, I can envision a much better version of Knife of Dreams where this circus plotline doesn’t involve Mat and Tuon at all. We’d just have a subplot with minor characters of seeing these three Aes Sedai helping the sul’dam break through their conditioning. Would have been roughly 1000000000x better than the plotline that we actually got.

It’s just MIND-BOGGLING that the ONLY purpose that we’ve had for Tuon being marath’damane so far is it enabling her to further abuse and torment the Aes Sedai, because it means she’s able to torture them personally instead of ordering Seta to do it. Was this really the reason that Jordan made her marath’damane - so that she could be an even more hands-on abuser?

Tuon being an asshole (in 60 pages on-screen):

calls Mat ‘Toy’ x39

Has definitely regained every inch of being an asshole High Lady Who Will Be Empress Someday. Circus plotline was pointless. Might as well have had her stay in Ebou Dar and just bought Mat from Tylin as da’covale, honestly. Her character ‘arc’ would be about the same.

There are dozens of minor moments that I’m not listing, but she’s basically an asshole every time she opens her mouth. Mat lets her get away with anything, because he no longer owns a spine, I guess.

She tortures and attempts to enslave some of Mat’s traveling companions because they dare to try to have a conversation with her about wanting a treaty.

She threatens to invade Tar Valon and make it her capital city.

Mat is mentioned by:

Perrin x2

Mat thinks about:

Rand x13

Loial x3

unnecessary scenes:

Perrin’s pointless sidequest (shaido): 1 (15 pages), 1 (14 pages), 1 (16 pages)

Side Character Romantic Drama: 1 (2 pages)

Mat’s pointless sidequest (tuon): 1 (16 pages), 1 (10 pages), 1 (19 pages), 1 (14 pages), 1 (13 pages), 1 (25 pages)

#wot #wot reread #wheel of time #knife of dreams #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #i miss mat so much #i hate this new mat #new mat sucks #mat cauthon #slaver empress tuon #seanchan warning #but the vast majority of this prologue is actually fantastic #the prologue has rights #perrin and mat don't have rights #faile can have A Right #egwene is great too #anyway i don't think anyone is surprised at this point by how deeply i dislike the seanchan empire #the wheel of time

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callmearcturus · 2 years ago

Text

i am sick as fucking hell today so here's my ranking of S-Links so far

caveats: Aigis STILL hasn't fucking unlocked, i'm only halfway thru mitsuru's, and one-third thru yukari's.

Best to Worst:

The Magician, Junpei: I am still flabbergasted at how fucking good his arc is. The fact that in the penultimate slink scene he recognizes the specific way he's been disrespectful to you and meaningfully apologizes for it is not remotely what I expected out of him. Also I somehow got spoiled very early that he wasn't a romance option, and (I can't believe I'm making this comparison) just like Dorian in Dragon Age: Inquisition, it made it feel fun and safe to play-flirt and joke with him, safe in the knowledge it wouldn't go awry. Junpei is my fucking bro, my ride or die.

The Star, Akihiko: Predictable since I am currently evaluating his entire romance against my other favorite romances in video games (I don't think he beats Garrus and The Transistor, but he's top five). Slowly unraveling this boy is delightful, and honestly the way he turns as you get to know him better is very marked and obvious. He goes from relying on his one hyperfixation to communicate, to opening up and sometimes being genuinely so fucking smooth and romantic, it threw me for a loop. Least neurotypical person in the cast.

The Hermit, Saori: From the moment she said a Bad Word I was in love. I like how... careful you have to be with her, how she is very aware of her faults, of the fact she's a doormat, and the reasons she has become that way. Saying goodbye to her was genuinely very fucking sad and I miss her. Would dump Akihiko for her if I could. (Tho even more I want them to meet, could you IMAGINE.)

The Priestess, Fuuka: I love this girl so fucking much. The steel core of her underneath of the self-doubt is wonderful to see. Also the specific way she sucks at cooking and almost locks up from the failure tracks as very real. It does suck to rope someone else into helping you with something and then seeing how good that person is at the thing. Also her slink is so close to a romance, I'm mad about it. LEMME DATE HER.

The Moon, Shinjiro: Ah, the urge to help people vs the urge to be a bitch. Who can't relate to that. Especially given the inevitable end of his arc, the specific way Shinjiro is trying to keep people from relying on him or expecting anything from him... hitting facefirst into the wall of how goddamn fucking reliable he is, it's great. Glad I maxed this one out.

The Tower, Mutatsu: I really like that you're basically therapizing this old monk just by.... being a mirror to reflect his questions back at him. You do very little to help him honestly, you just exist nearby and thus inspire him to challenge himself and better himself. He just needed someone to talk to! Also its funny to imagine FemPC just hanging out in his booth for a few weeks. What a duo.

The Sun, Akinari: Did NOT like this one at first, but wow the actual final thought of it, the idea that.... death is inevitable, and you will never know your purpose, and you will never see your purpose, but you do have purpose. That was surprisingly affecting. Also WAS HE A GHOST THE WHOLE TIME? WHAT WAS WITH THAT? Wacky.

The Chariot, Rio: Oh Rio, I wish I could rank you higher, girl. I really like Rio and think she's actually an incredible example of the Chariot, but in the way I enjoyed being careful with Saori, there were times I wanted to smack Rio upside the head. Because she's making progress, she's getting there, but it's almost entirely without you. You're there to support her and that's great but you cannot fucking challenge her at all ever or she'll get upset. Just frustrating.

The Devil, Tanaka: This one was so fucking weird but enjoyable? But there's no depth here. It's just weird and fun!

Strength, Koromaru: I'm not a dog person but this is a good dog. Also while I didn't vibe with the plot around Koromaru, the way he incited conversation with other characters was great.

Justice, Ken: I'm about... 4 or 5 into this one? And the point seems to be "ah, the trauma of growing up too fast." Which yep. That's a thing. Wish this slink wasn't like pulling teeth.

The Emperor, Hidetoshi: I'm bored to tears and I'm never gonna finish this one. Hidetoshi is a tool, I'm not interested.

The Hierophant, the Old Couple: this one is straight up poorly written. It's just so fucking poorly written I don't know if something went seriously awry in localization or if it was just that bad. I maxed it out and I regret it.

The Hanged Man, Maiko: HEY YO WHAT WAS UP WITH HER DAD HITTING HER AND THE "BEST" OPTION BEING "That's mean!" OH BITCH IS IT MEAN TO HIT A CHILD? OH DANG I HAD NO IDEA.

Temperance, Bebe: The degree to which I failed out of this slink cannot be overstated. When Bebe calls me, I turn him down every time even if I have NOTHING else to do that day. This slink feels offensive to like five different groups of people. Nope. Not doing it. Bye.

I thiiiiiiink that's all the ones I have an opinion on. /jazzhands

Say What About:

Yukari: I bounced off her early because she gave me huge Best Friend Who Quietly Hates You vibes. She gets great development in the main story tho so I'm working on hers.

Aigis: Hasn't unlocked.

Mitsuru: IT TOOK ME UNTIL FUCKING, WHAT, NOVEMBER TO GRIND ACADEMICS? OH MY GODDDDD the stat threshold for her is literally just to fucking high.

Ryoji: Gave me the creeps so I fully skipped everything after the mandatory unlock!!!! Don't like him!

#persona liveblog

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a-driftamongopenstars · 3 years ago

Note

Hey there! Have you written anything involving FOTL masks? Something to the tune of, say, YW & Crow still being separated by Circumstances™ but unknowingly cross paths while wearing masks 👀 (tho... maybe not the Uldren mask LOL)

hi!! :D oh my, this prompt has been sitting in my mind for a while after you sent it, I love it! I hope you like my take on it :) (no Uldren's mask indeed haha!)

frankly the entire time I had that scene from Penelope movie in my mind :D with masks and stuff!

The celebrations of the Festival of the Lost have been in full motion as hunts for the Headless commenced. With a pleasant kind of cheer in the air, the Tower seems to have relaxed. There is anticipation, and there are more smiles to be met.

It is a rainy kind of night, and despite the drizzle, the Guardians are not to be dissuaded from their dancing and food. There are stalls open here and there on a large canopied plaza, and the savoury smells of ramen and other dishes are slowly spreading across the place. There are decorations in every corner and hanging from the canopy poles. There are dancing couples in the middle, there is music, cheer and conversation.

Crow finds himself in that crowd, where it is neither too stifling nor too empty. Every Guardian is masked; some masks are ridiculous, others are perfectly simple and convenient. Crow himself has picked an inconspicuous mask of a shattered Traveler - there is a certain feeling of symbolism about such a choice, he reckoned.

At some point he finds himself swept into a dance by another Guardian with an utterly ridiculous giant pumpkin head as their mask.

Glint must be so elated to see these, Crow thinks to himself, smiling at the thought of his Ghost and his love for stories.

The Guardian that swept him away leads the dance now, and Crow allows it to happen. His feet move to the rhythm, and his ears are filled with loud music. It is liberating, to simply forget of all grudges and pain. For all intents and purposes, he is just another faceless Lightbearer.

Truth be told, Crow misses the anonimity the mask used to provide him.

The Guardian slightly squeezes his hand in the dance, and Crow's attention is swiftly snapped to his dancing partner.

How ridiculous the fate is, how cruel! How could he not recognize this person as his cherished Guardian who he has been avoiding for the attempts to settle his mind about things passed. How could he not recognize the familiar warmth of their hands or their height or even the subtle smell that you learn from a person so close and familiar.

Crow laughs to himself, daring not to speak a word.

And so they dance. Unaware, or, perhaps, aware enough. They dance for a long time, slow and fast. They accidently step on each other's feet and don't apologize, saving their voices for secrecy.

And then the dance is over, and so is the rain, and they part ways in the crowd, fingertips touching and letting go.

Crow knows. The Guardian knows. But that little meeting, an island of peace and oblivion, is enough. Till the next time, unmasked.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #guardian x crow #yw x crow #the young wolf x crow #the crow #young wolf #the guardian #fanfiction #driftcreates #i'm a little sick right now so i hope there aren't any stupid mistakes in the text :/

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theaceace · 5 years ago

Text

So because I had a few asks about it, I’m going to ramble about some of the scenes I wanted to include in demand an encore and didn’t (for varying reasons) and tag the people that asked instead of answering them all and repeating myself a lot (having said that, if you want even more detail, I am here, shivering with anticipation) Hopefully tumblr doesn’t fuck it up too much :)

@holsmi, @lemon-drops-are-yummy, @eat-sleep-meme-freak-repeat, @alastingconfusion, @jinglelas

(warning - this got long)

Ok so this isn’t in any particular order, let’s go

I was originally going to have more of the first episode actually played through, including Geralt’s reaction to waking up in Filavandrel’s cave and immediately smelling Jaskier’s blood. Jaskier-the-Viper would have known a lot more about the great cleansing than Jaskier-the-bard, considering he y’know lived through it, so there would have been moments of Geralt using that to convince himself that of course this couldn’t be his Jaskier because his Jaskier would never have bought into the human’s shit. And the ‘he’s just a bard’ line? Ooh I was going to lean into that hard. I couldn’t really work the transitions though, and honestly I didn’t want to feel like I was repeating the episode verbatim which was how it was starting to turn out

Renfri was going to have a much part bigger part originally - it was where the idea of Geralt talking to Roach like she’s a horse sometimes and like she’s a person other times originally started. I toyed with the idea of Geralt actually opening up a little bit to Renfri about it, and possibly her trying to use Jaskier’s death at the hands of mages to convince Geralt to kill Stregobor. I did also think about having a mirror of the final fight scene, because I imagine Jaskier’s fighting style to be very similar to Renfri’s, to the point that Geralt actually started to anticipate her movements - only to get stabbed because of course, she’s her own person and however similar her approach to fighting was, there would still be differences. This chapter, though, I decided all of the flashbacks would take place after Geralt met Jaskier again, so it was cut

Triss, oh my god, I had half a scene written with Triss but I couldn’t stop the dialogue feeling clunky and too much like obvious exposition. The plan was to reveal the info we got from Yennefer in the final version more gradually, with a little bit from Triss, a little bit from Mousesack, and Geralt drawing his own conclusions from that. It worked better with the theme of Geralt being a ridiculously unreliable narrator, because let’s be real he would jump to the absolute worst conclusions in a heartbeat, but then I realised Yennefer would not allow other people to be the authority on anything magical in Geralt’s life and would correct him at every turn (how reliable it is, though, is still to be determined :) ). I more-or-less replaced it with the after-potions scene, because I like the idea of Geralt calling for Dandelion when he’s hurt/feverish/not really with it, and I was going to have Triss grill him about it. I’m happy with the final version. Still miss Triss tho

I was in two minds about including anything from ep 4, because on the one hand I wouldn’t really have changed any of the events - except maybe having Mousesack be aware that Geralt used to travel with another witcher and talk it through a bit - but at the same time, the potential for yearning was off the charts

The little song that Jaskier sings at the beginning of ep 5? ‘You all know that this bard, loved ladies from Nilgaard, cause Nilfgaard can kiss my - Geralt!’ That was going to be there for Geralt to obsess over, but I thought people might read too much into it when it’s still just a silly song that he was singing. Again, there was a lot of potential pining with the whole exchange pre-djinn, but I would have changed so little of it overall and I didn’t want to just type out the scene verbatim

I wanted to have a scene of Geralt being in some sort of peril while on a hunt, and Jaskier trying to leap in - because he still had the instincts of a witcher, and when his mind blanked with absolute terror of what might happen to Geralt, he fell back on them without realising. But, of course, the instincts and muscle-memory alone (at that point, at least) wouldn’t have been enough, resulting in Jaskier being pretty seriously injured, and Geralt losing his shit because he couldn’t just let Jaskier die, not again. I still like the idea of this one, although it ran a little close to the whole djinn debacle. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll revisit it (probably not tho)

Originally Geralt and Ciri’s talk on the tower was going to be much more lighthearted, with Geralt telling Ciri stories about the constellations that he learnt from Jaskier, while Jaskier stealthily sat at the foot of the tower listening. They were going to have a bit of a heart-to-heart once Ciri fell asleep, but in the end I felt like I really wanted to address the fact that this whole thing has been really difficult for characters other than Geralt. Yes we like to read about the sad grumpy boi pining, but let’s be real, I don’t know how much time the show will devote to her trauma and I at least wanted to give Ciri the chance to openly grieve.

Yen was going to arrive at fuck-o-clock at night, when Geralt and Jaskier were the only ones up. And also they might have been cuddling a bit. And Jaskier might have grabbed a knife from Geralt’s belt and settled into the old fighting stance they used to use when they needed to protect each other’s backs. I might have had him in a state of panic over the fact that there’s a portal at Kaer Morhen, and desperately trying to hold himself together long enough to face the potential threat, because he has to protect the ones he loves. It might have been related to whatever happened at Gorthur Gvaed. In the end, I went with a lighter version because it had already been a very heavy chapter. This idea is still very close to my heart, though.

#not exactly a writing tag #demand an encore #you asked and I hope I delivered :)

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theclownandtheflame · 5 years ago

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AIGHT FELLAS it's me ya slut writing a Gaius x MC fic so if you don't like Gaius or feel grossed out by the idea of a ship then DON'T READ IT haaaa no seriously don't read it. Also don't shame those who like it. PEACE! 🧚🏻‍♀️

Btw I didn't quite finish it bc idk my imagination gets dry sometimes and stuff. BUT if any of you want me to keep writing, then ask so and I'll do it! I'll do it either way but oh well ksksksks here we go!

Victim, Victim, Monster

A Gaius Augustine x MC drabble/fic

Written by @theclownandtheflame

DISCLAIMER: Some NSFW, slight mentions of PTSD (not romanticized tho!! ew!!)

Characters used &/or mentioned belong to Pixelberry!!! All rights to them even if they take ours on a daily basis

My mother language is Portuguese so please excuse my grammar should it be necessary!

MC's name is Athena because,, :)

Final warning for Gaius' haters: don't. read. below. the line !!!!!!!!

_________________________________________

"Athena, I did terrible things to you. I abducted you. I raided your mind. I tortured your friends. I killed you."

Funny how stating the obvious got him stuck in her mind the whole night. Fragile, the bloodkeeper clutched her pillow and busied herself with happier thoughts. As if there were any at times like these.

They had just escaped the island when its effects fully wore out. She couldn't blame "grandpa" for her restlessness, as much as she wanted to. So much to consider after trekking across the ugly truth and all she could think about was Gaius. Gaius Augustine.

She heaved a dramatic sigh before changing positions. Now, laying on her back, Athena realized this was probably the best night of sleep she's had in a while. Even if there was, like, absolutely no sleeping involved.

What kept her up wasn't the nightmares this time. Something about their talk, as eerie as it went, helped her conceal the fact his face would haunt her forever. Because, oh, it would.

"You can't sleep, can you?"

The agony, crawling under her skin, hit so deep she could hear his voice at any given time. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she stared at the ceiling, counting sheeps for a change. No nightmares, no daydreams, but absolutely not a hint of tranquility.

"... Athena."

She huffed. If she knew coming to good terms with the enemy would bring him inside her head, she wouldn't have taken the high road. Her lips still tingled from the kiss she pressed to his cheek. The electric warmth shared upon breaking a boundary she would've never have crossed days prior.

If only her friends could see her now. Touching her lips with her fingertips. Thinking fondly of a monster they swore to kill.

"Are you asleep? Do you actually sleep with your eyes open? You are one strange woman."

"Leave, demon!" She hissed, forcing herself up to sit by the edge of the bed. Both hands rubbed at her temples as she whispered words of discouragement, praying to have her brain raided by better thoughts. A psych vampire who can't watch after her own mind was most likely a joke.

Until she glanced towards the door, slowly, blushing deeply at the owner of her inner voices who simply stared back in awe. So it wasn't her imagination playing tricks, huh?

He blinked. Fast.

"... Did you think I—"

"Shut up." She lisped. Her hands continued to cradle her head even as he walked in, eyebrows arched.

"I was hoping you'd be less fussy after our conversation."

Without expecting an invitation, he crossed the distance between them and leaned into the wall across from her.

Surprisingly she didn't budge. Not until her body flinched at the cold breeze that entered freely from the gap he left by keeping the door open.

"Yeah, so was I." The woman closed her eyes and took a deep breath to keep herself from shaking.

Once aware of the situation, Gaius snatched her pillow and tossed it on the door. It slammed closed from the impact, but it wasn't loud enough to startle the others.

"Hey!" She gasped, watching the scene with eyes wide. "Couldn't you just go and close it manually? Like, running for it? You're a powerful vampire, dude."

Entertained by her fright, he smirked.

"I'm also way too comfortable standing right here... dude."

Gaius Augustine was a monster. Is a monster. She couldn't really tell. Decades of cruelty couldn't be wiped out so easily, as Kamilah strongly suggested whenever she mentioned his name. Yet, the way he looked at her with a mixture of sorrow and regret proved it true: Rheya broke him whole.

He stood still, stiffening once their eyes met, and suddenly all she could see was a wounded hound looking for shelter.

"Why are you here?" She asked at last. A simple question that sent him looking for scrappers of answers he couldn't quite provide.

Why was he there, really? Because she's the only one who didn't give him a hard time? Because she knew how his mind worked, and therefore they had a reliable bond?

Because she's the only good thing left of the Rheya he once loved?

He needn't consider any further. That last possibility drained all colors from his face. Staring blankly ahead, his mouth slightly ajar, Gaius ignored her altogether and hurried towards the door.

"Wait!" She called out. Without further ado, Athena leaped to her feet and approached the man to lay a hand on his as it reached for the knob.

The look he gave her was a haunting one. Desperate. He couldn't bear looking at her face without feeling himself break further.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

He was terrified of her.

"I must leave." He blurted out, but his body remained unmoving. The gentle touch he felt on his hand moved on to his cheek, and suddenly he found himself leaning into it.

What the hell, Athena? What are you doing?, She thought. He abducted you, raided your mind, tortured your friends, killed you!

Their eyes met once more, and this time they didn't go astray. They glared at each other's hues while their heads swirmed with questions of where they stood and what they meant.

Victim, victim, monster.

Both experiencing a strong attraction that most likely came to life due to their shared fear:

To lose a purpose without making it right.

Pulling away out of a sudden, Athena turned on her heels and walked in front of a mirror. He followed short after, magnetized, his hands yearning to grasp her hips but resting on his belt instead. His towering figure could be easily seen behind her as a smile crept on her rosy lips.

"What?" He frowned. "What's so amusing to you that clearly isn't to me?"

Biting on her bottom lip, she gestured towards their reflections, believing it would be enough. By the way his lips puckered, it wasn't.

"We're vampires. Yet we can see ourselves on the mirror. Hollywood's fishy, isn't it?"

Sighing sharply not to roll his eyes at her foolishness, he leaned into her to touch the mirror's surface. The way his chest pressed into her back so that his palm could reach the glass made her heartbeats quicken.

The funny look he gave her through a squint was enough to say he heard them loud and clear. And enjoyed being the cause of it.

"You don't believe Vlad's tales, do you? It's outrageous. The man is a buffoon." He quirked an eyebrow. Looking at the mirror at the same time, the two shot each other challenging glares until she burst into laughter.

"Nah. He's not that great, by the way. I don't see the appeal... and I've certainly had better."

Wiggling her eyebrows, Athena fist-bumped the air upon spotting a crimson shade spread on his cheeks. He'd have pulled away to adjust his posture if she hadn't laid her hand upon his.

Her fingers grazed his until curling around them, her touch so gentle he could barely feel it. He closed his eyes when she laid her head back on his shoulder, and his arm slowly slithered around her waist in return.

Humming to herself, Athena shrunk into his arms and cherished the warmth of his hold. Then, the touch of his lips on her ear, of his breath tickling her skin.

"I do see the appeal in this." He growled, softly, making her body shiver from goosebumps. "Of holding you close to me instead of hunting you down. Of saving you instead of dragging you to harm's way."

The hand he had holding on her waist moved up to her breasts, hovering over her cleavage as he reached for a necklace as an excuse to his gestures. Her heart was entirely out of control at this point, beating faster by the minute – but she didn't care. She wanted him to be aware of his effects. Tilting her head, she brushed her lips across his jawline and smirked at the hiss she got in response.

"Well, there is a saying for that, y'know? Make love, not war."

Having distracted him with an array of kisses on his jaw, she reached back around her neck to unclip the necklace and toss it away. He needn't an excuse. Not anymore.

"So which one's gonna be? I'm warning you though, I'm great at waging war."

"You are infuriating." Without further notice, his hands clutched her hips to flip her around.

Once she could face him properly, Athena inched forth to try his lips for the first time, but he made sure to keep her at arm's length. His eyes, dark with lust, studied her frame before locking on her features. It's like he was seeing her for the first time, savoring the sight of something he craved despite unaware.

He took it in without a wish to kill but to touch, appraise, caress. Taste.

"Kiss me." She ordered, her voice but a whisper as his thumbs drew circles around her hips.

"No, Bloodkeeper..." He hummed, his nose brushing hers as he fought the urge to give it in. "I'm not so sure I am worthy of your lips."

Dodging temptation, he pressed a kiss to her cheek instead. A warm reminder that there's still good in this world as much as there could be in him.

"Goodnight, Athena."

She shook her head. He couldn't leave now, not when she found a way around the sharp edges of his heart. However, he was too determined to cut it short before it was too late. Even if something told him they were way past that.

Averting his gaze not to meet her hungry eyes, he planted one last kiss on her forehead and left with haste.

"Great..." She mumbled, more restless than ever. "Now I definitely can't sleep."

-//-

#bloodbound #bloodbound choices #bloodbound book 3 #bloodbound fic #bloodbound drabble #gaius augustine #gaius x mc #yes it is real the cursed ship mwah #bb choices #bb pb #theclownandtheflame : victim victim monster

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originaldanganronpascenarios · 6 years ago

Note

Sdr2 boy’s s/o ends up being executed after killing in self defense

Idk why am I tagging spoilers anymore-

Thank you for requesting angst. A Heartbreaker like this mostly helps me relax lol. But wait I see something... Is it SOMETHING I WILL CRY WHILE WRITING!?

SDR2 Boys whose S/O gets executed after killing in self defense

Slight Spoiler Alert (not in every case) slight ooc for people who tried to kill s/o

Gundham Tanaka

The motive of starving to death made you a bit scared. What you didn't knew that someone was coming after you...

Kazuichi had mixed feelings but he didn't wanted everyone to die... He thought that you whould be easiest target and he planned to strike at night time so you whould be pretty exhausted.

When it was night time you promised to meek up with him. You trusted him as you knew he wouldn't try anything shady.

Kazuichi attacked you but you managed to doge it. He was surprised by how fast you moved despite not eating for two days.

You snatched out his weapon and hit him in the head. You thought it whould just disarm him but you aimed for the wrong spot therefore killing him. You weren't aware of that but you quickly shut door behind you and dashed towards Gundhams room since luckily Kazuichi didn't mess with elevator.

Gundham was worried when he saw you at this hour. You told him the whole story and he was furious.

Next day what you heard was body discovery announcement. Only you and Gundham knew what happened. He wanted to protect you as he was ready to sacrifice himself and everyone else for your sake.

But it's impossible to fight Hajimes logic... You were the blackened. Gundham desperately tried to save you but he knew it wouldn't work. Yet he didn't gave up no matter how many times you told him that it was fine.

After trial was over he hugged you one last time and felt like never letting you go.

And so you were about to be brutally executed right in front of his eyes.

He needed to be held back since normally he whould just jump in and not care about a thing. If he was about to die he whould die he can't let you be there alone.

Of course all his effort went nowhere as he was held back.

Fujuhiko Kuzuryu

As the new motive was presented- despair disease Fujuhiko literally commanded you to be in the motel team even though he felt safe when you were around you couldn't be around diseased ones since if you catched the diease or the one of the sick killed you he wouldn't be able to forgive himself...

You couldn't sleep that night and you saw Hiyoko walking around alone... It was quite shady so you followed her not noticing in what condition her kimono was.

When you went inside there was Mikan trying to kill Hiyoko. You quickly grabbed Hiyokos hand and pulled her towards you. Thanks to that she survived. You yelled at her to run.

You couldn't believe that you saved Hiyoko... Ibuki was there too and she was still moving so Mikan didn't strangle her yet.

It was now fight you vs Mikan you just tired to calm her down and disarm her. She kept changing at you. You managed to make her stay still. Ibuki was still alive and when he saw what was going on (even tho she was sick) ran away.

You wanted to stun her so you can run away but you ended up killing her. There was her blood on your hands. You couldn't believe it...

When the body discovery announcement played Hiyoko was quiet to everyones surprise...

Ibuki doesn't remember anything from when she had the diease...

As the trial started you knew you whould have to say that you did it. You rather die yourself than for everyone else to die. Hiyoko didn't sold you out but she whould later and you know it.

When they seemed to be stuck you told them that you did it. When everyone was shocked Hiyoko told the truth.

Fujuhiko couldn't belive you saved Hiyoko and ended up blackened... After he lost his best friend Peko he can't afford to lose you too!

He tried to say something but it was hard... He couldn't belive that you will die...

He hugged you and you made a promise that he will survive and escape with everyone.

After your execution ended he never stopped thinking about you. He thought that Hiyoko should be the one to die not you! Hell he whould exchange everyone's lives for you.

Hajime Hinata

You and Hajime were very close even though the killing game was going on you decided to not play monokumas game and just live on the islands while thinking about how to escape.

It turned out someone in fact tried to play this sick game.

You went to help prepare the old building for the party. When you saw Nagito cleaning up he was kinda suspicious. You thought you were paranoid so you continued to help. He was too chill to play this game.

You were wrong he got knife out and tried to kill you.

You moved quite fast and he was so impressed. You were ultra scared as he was getting more and more creepy.

He didn't gave up even though you found a way to get the knife out of his hands he kept trying to kill you.

You stabbed him once. Just so he whould stop but he was crazy. Teruteru heard you fighting so he went to investigate and he saw you struggling to run away while Nagito said that you should kill him.

Teruteru ran for help and Hajime was the closest person he ran into.

But when the boys came there was you crying covered in cuts all in blood and in front of you was Nagitos dead body.

Hajime could tell what happened as he ran to you and hugged you when body discovery announcement played.

Everyone gathered and it was obvious who was the culprit...

You told them that he attacked you and you had to defend yourself everyone believed you but you had to get executed anyways.

Hajime tried to fight monokuma. It was just no fair for you to die becouse you defended yourself but monokuma wouldn't listen...

And so you were executed he felt so much despair as he saw your body drop.

Everyone tried to cheer up Hajime after your death and he was determined to end it.

Nekomaru Nidai

Nekomaru allways thought you were strong and he was your support throughout killing game.

You both knew that other one won't kill no matter what... You were wrong.

You never knew you whould have to kill someone but it was on accident! You met up with Gundam in the strawberry tower and you had to fight.

He was very strong so that's why you were extremely surprised to came out as victorious. It was becouse you grabbed a hammer he had with him. You thought it wouldn't kill but you swinged too fast and too strong.

As you left the crime scene it was impossible for you to cover up the crime. Some of Gundhams blood splattered on you.

Not like you wanted to cover up the crime! You wanted to live a bit longer even just on this trial... So you can hear Nekomarus voice one last time.

This broke your heart since everything was pointing at you and Nekomaru siad that it's impossible for you to kill anyone. You teared up as you confessed.

He was too shocked he didn't even vote for you. Nekomaru kept asking you why.

You said that it was in self defense that you wanted to stun him and run away but you ended up killing him.

You and Nekomaru hugged one last time and it was quite long embrace before you got dragged away.

He was too stunned to do something he couldn't belive how weak he felt at that moment.

Kazuichi Souda

You and Kazuichi didn't quite understand new motive being some game... So you just tired to ignore it.

You overheard Hiyoko talking to Mahiru about it. Thinking they whould try to kill someone you tried to investigate it on your own. You followed Hiyoko to the beach house and saw Peko.

You knew fight against her is for you lost. Her plans were now ruined she could have drop it or fight to get her young master out of there. Luckily for you she used the bat instead of her sword so it was less deadly for you.

You took your chance and managed to get her off guard as you somehow threw her across the room she landed pretty badly and you couldn't believe what you did. Yet a lot of luck was on your side.

You ran away to find Kazuichi Ibuki Hajime and Chiaki in the restaurant. You told them about what happened and your fight with Peko. You thought you didn't kill her but it was the exact opposite.

Fujuhiko saw her body and after all of your group joined with body discovery announcement he yelled "Wich of you bastards killed her!?" your eyes widen. She... Died!?

Kazuichi freaked out as he can't let you die. Now everyone knew it was you...

Trial was extremely short and so you were about to die. Kazuichi kept crying as he knew he won't see you again...

He hugged you very closely. You hugged him back and monokuma was done with this whole emotional thing and so you got executed.

He kept yelling your name when he was held back by others.

He wished he could tell you how he loves you just once. To hold you... be close...

Ultimate Imposter

Its whierd that you were together for such short time yet get along so well.

With his skills you knew you can get out of there easily without any blood shatter.

When he announced the party you couldn't stay back and relax so you decided to help out out of your own free will.

Basically you went from market to building with needed supplies. When you were heading back you heard what Nagito and Teruteru were talking about. You were shocked... Nagito wanted to kill someone?

When he left you looked for a knife Nagito hid. You wanted to give it to Twogami and tell him to watch out for Nagito. But you were stopped.

You didn't expect Teruteru to act like this and he told you to give him the knife as he will just leave it in the kitchen. He looked too suspicious for you to follow this order.

And so you started fighting. You ended up killing him. You didn't wanted to but you don't have idea what kind of fate waits for you.

You tried to mess with the crime scene and as you existed the building you couldn't believe what happened.

About 3 hours later body discovery announcement went off...

Twogami thought that he failed as a leader...

You didn't wanted everyone to die but you didn't wanted to go down either.

You were proven to be the culprit. You apologized to everyone but told them what actually happened becouse what Hajime said want entirely the truth.

Twogami then felt guilty for not monitoring preparations for the party...this could have been avoided...

Nagito Komaeda

He was crazy but your crazy. You understood him and loved him deeply. When he got despair disease you wanted to stay with him and went for the hospital team.

You were around his room as allways waiting for information about his condition. But thought it was pointless so you went down to rest- Hajime and Fujuhiko.

Hajime tried to start small conversation but you decided to take a walk.

You saw Mikan walking towards music venue... Wait shouldn't she be at the hospital?

You went inside and she was preparing something. When she noticed you she started acting not like herself. She then tried to attack you with rope she had with her. You quickly went on stage and took the stepladder. You hit her in the head 3 times very hard.

Then you realized that she was dead... You ran away from the venue and went to your cottage since it was getting late.

In the next morning after you were back in the hospital body discovery announcement went off and you now knew you didn't had much time left...

Nagito was cured and you spent all the time with him. He saw you looking kinda down but you didn't stop your investigation.

When the trial started you were ready to tell the truth. But you let yourself live for at least few more minutes.

When the truth was revealed Nagito was surprised his S/O? Was filled with despair to kill poor Mikan? You told what actually happened and if you didn't act you whould end up getting killed.

Nagito forgave you as you hugged him for the first and last time.

He watched your execution and wished it was him there instead of you.

Teruteru Hanamura

You felt like Teruteru was the only person you could get along with. His perverted remarks didn't annoy you.

Before the party was about to begin he seemed kinda off. Poor Teruteru worked whole day in the kitchen... You thought that was the case and you gave him advice: go. And. Rest. He accepted your offer and so he was gone.

You were helping with last preparations and you ran into Nagito placing something under the table.

You asked him if something was gone and if he was looking for anything.

When you saw a knife you could tell what was going... Unlucky for you the door was somehow shut like in some horrors...

Nagito charges at you and you dodged it as you quickly used that moment to grab a knife.

After that you quickly stabbed him but in the wrong place you aimed for. You ended up killing him...

You ran away and went to your cottage so you could change. What will happen to you!?

After Body discovery announcement and investigation class trial began...

When you were being suspected for the first time Teruteru kept arguing saying you couldn't possibly do it.

But when there was no more room left for argue you started apologizing... You apologized so many times and you were crying like crazy.

Teruteru forgave you but he didn't wanted to lose you! He tried to reason with monokuma but it was impossible...

He couldn't look at you die. He looked away tears in his eyes as he sobbed while watching his beloved S/O die slowly and violently...

~Mod Chiaki

#Gundham tanaka #fujuhiko kuzuryu #Hajime Hinata #nekomaru nidai #nagito komaeda #kazuichi souda #ultimate imposter #teruteru hanamura

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