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wheresmynaya · 4 years ago

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Lost in the Lights Ch.6|Brittana

A/N - Happy Friday! I've actually had this one finished for a few days now since I've been writing lots to cope with the Steelers loss earlier this week LOL. Like the WMHS Titans, I think they needed the L to get their heads back in the game so hopefully we'll see a win this week. Enjoy!

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x)

The late night visits to Elliott's quickly becomes Brittany's favorite part of the week. Neither of them ever order any coffee since it's always so late by the time they get there, but hot chocolates do just fine.

After about two weeks, they've yet to run out of new things to talk about. They just sip on their drinks by the fire and chat about whatever comes to mind first. It's funny how easy they get along; sometimes it feels like they've been friends forever and that's probably the best part of all.

"So," Santana hums after licking whipped cream from her top lip, "How'd you start playing football?"

Brittany chuckles at the random question; just before they had been talking about what they'd take with them if they were stranded on a deserted island. Santana said she'd bring a survival expert because no way I'm doing all the work myself while Brittany thought a phone would be a good idea – she didn't think about there not being any service out there though.

"How anybody starts playing, I guess?" Brittany shrugs as she cups her mug, "I just tried out."

Santana gives her a look before she smirks, "No I mean, what made you like it enough that you wanted to play on a team?"

"Oh!" Brittany has to stop and think, "I've always liked sports, I think. I like being active. When I was younger my parents couldn't get me to sit still. Sports were a way I could use up all of that energy. I was such a handful, Pete can be like that too."

"Really?" Santana looks surprised, "He's always so chill the times I've seen him."

Brittany snickers, "That's probably because he has a teeny tiny crush on you and you make him all shy."

"He does not," Santana laughs, "So did your parents make you try out for everything or did you have a choice?"

"A little of both, I think?" Brittany says, "My parents always encouraged me to try new things. They never really made me do anything. If I ended up not liking a certain sport, they let me quit. I think football is the most challenging for me though. That's probably why I like it so much."

Santana nods before going to take another sip, "That's really cool that your parents are so supportive of you."

"Yeah. What about you?" Brittany wonders, "How'd you get into cheering?"

Santana averts her gaze to her drink, "That's not really an interesting story. I did it solely for the popularity boost. I learned early on that getting into the right clique is the only way to make it through high school so Quinn and I joined as soon as we could. Besides, I doubt my dad would never let me get into contact sports – he's not a fan of the injury risks."

"I get that," Brittany nods, "Do you like it at least? Cheering?"

"I do now," Santana shrugs, "At the start, not so much. The Captain before us was such a bitch, she made our lives a living hell. Coach Sylvester is kind of a tyrant too but I adapted to her. The uniform makes up for all the trouble though, it's like wearing armor. No one can usually touch you and so many people are suckers for the skirt."

Brittany shakes her head at the way Santana starts to smirk, "I bet you've broken many hearts with that one."

Santana laughs, "Not on purpose."

Brittany giggles along with her and they spend the rest of their time talking about whatever comes next until their cups are empty.

Brittany loves this part; the whole getting to know someone better. She was worried she'd never get the chance with Santana, but she's seen a shift in her demeanor since Homecoming. The Co-Captain is still guarded but Brittany can tell that she's trying to be better and that's all that really matters to her.

The next day, Brittany's at school going through her regular routine of trying to avoid the stares.

Since being crowned Homecoming King, she has a lot more people coming up to talk to her – either about the game on Friday (which the Titans won) or how awesome they think she is. It's super weird having the whole school treat you like some sort of celebrity, but she rather have that then the constant dirty looks the guys on the Hockey team still give her and all the other Titans.

When she gets to her final class of the day she finds Santana is just getting settled in her seat. Ms. Holliday lingers by the door and hands Brittany her usual warm-up activity as she greets her.

"Thanks Ms. Holliday," Brittany says in passing before she comes to her shared desk and shrugs off her bookbag, "Hey Santana."

"Hi," Santana greets with a smile before nodding to her worksheet, "Wanna do this together?"

"Yeah, sure!" Brittany grins.

"While you guys work on that," Ms. Holliday announces as she begins her rounds around the classroom, "I'm going to start handing back your papers that took me forever to grade. That's the last time I assign anything longer than a two page limit."

Brittany groans; she's been dreading this day for awhile.

English has never been her best subject and she particularly struggles with the writing assignments which happens to be her first big assessment of the semester. She remembers Santana offering to help, but Brittany never took her up on it. They weren't really friends at the time and she's a little closed off when it comes to studying with others.

When Ms. Holliday comes around to slide a paper face down on Brittany's desk, it takes her a moment before she's hesitantly peeling back the corner to reveal the grade.

"Crap," Brittany mutters when she sees the bright red C- along with an array of red markings littering the page.

"Not what you were expecting?" Ms. Holliday asks softly.

"Not quite," Brittany frowns as she starts to read her teacher's comments. None of the critiques surprise her, but the grade still doesn't sit well with her.

"Have you considered looking for a study buddy?" Ms. Holliday suggests lightly as she hands Santana her paper next.

Brittany glances to her side just in time to see the bright red A+ on Santana's paper. She tries to be inconspicuous but Santana catches her staring as Ms. Holliday walks away.

"I'm kind of a whizz at this stuff," Santana jokes before offering, "I could tutor you if you want?"

Brittany quickly shakes her head, "Oh no, I couldn't ask you to do all that. I'm not sure when I'd even have the time between practice and weight training."

"You'd probably want to make time," Santana replies as she tucks away her paper without a second look, "I've heard Coach Beiste is pretty hard on the players when it comes to maintaining their GPAs. Total opposite of Coach Sylvester who doesn't give a shit as long as you're nailing the routines. There was once a girl on the squad that had a 0.0. I didn't know GPAs went that low."

"Great," Brittany slumps back, "I can usually skate by, but the grading scale here is so different from my old school. This would be a solid B- over there."

"Like I said, I can help you?" Santana offers again but this time she pairs it with a smile.

Brittany bites her lip at the sight of it; those smiles are starting to get a little distracting.

"I don't know," She replies shyly, "It kind of takes me a second to catch onto things, my past tutors have gotten a little impatient with me. I wouldn't want to waste your time."

"I promise it won't be a waste of my time," Santana tells her earnestly, "I've tutored a couple of Titans before and I can tell just by how you've formatted your paper that you're a lot smarter than you think."

Brittany bites her lip at that and starts to consider her offer, "I'm not sure when we'd be able to meet. I get out of practice around 6 at the earliest."

"That's loads of time. I'm pretty flexible," She says then quickly clarifies, "With scheduling, I mean. Cheerios practice usually finishes up before yours and we have the same days off. We can even get together at Elliott's? Although I think the Lima Bean is closer, but whatever's easiest for you."

Brittany glances at Santana again and she's kind of surprised how willing she is to help with her studies. Even her friends back home were always a little hesitant when it came to studying with her, so to see Santana being so eager eases most of Brittany's reservations.

"Okay," Brittany finally relents, "Only if you want to. I don't want to take up too much of your time though."

Santana just sighs through her smile, "You're too considerate for your own good sometimes, Pierce."

Brittany blushes at that, "I just don't have a very good track record when it comes to this stuff."

"Well, I don't mind," Santana assures her, "Seriously. I wouldn't offer if I did so don't worry about it."

"Okay," Brittany nods bashfully, "Thanks."

Santana just shrugs dismissively before turning back to her worksheet.

In addition to how everything's going with Santana, things seem to have shifted for the better when it comes to the Titans too. For the most part, Brittany's gained the team's respect and their dynamic is the strongest its ever been. There's an even bigger push for harder training now that they're getting closer to the playoffs, but despite most of the team being on the same page there are still two that love to stand out.

Karofsky and Azimio.

It's towards the end of practice and they're running a couple different plays and the infamous duo have been insufferable the entire time. Coach Beiste has yet to get involved, but that's on Brittany. She wants to be able to control her team, she doesn't want to have to go running to the Coach just because of a couple guys that won't get with it.

But those two never just do as they're told, there's always some backhanded comment and Brittany's getting sick of it. The only reason she hasn't snapped is because she doesn't want to let her emotions get the best of her. They've used that against her before and she knows if she were to have an outburst again they'd just do the same thing. That's the most frustrating part about working with ignorant assholes, arguing with them doesn't do a damn thing – until today.

Brittany goes to gather her offense for a quick huddle so that she can run through the next play and Azimio is already on her with the belittling nicknames.

"Alright Princess," He groans, "What are you having us do this time?"

"Not another play-action," Karofsky jokes.

Brittany's jaw tenses and she's about to go off on the both of them when Finn – of all people – beats her to it.

"God, when are you two going to give it up already?" He snaps, "The pushback is so annoying!"

"Woah!" Karofsky raises his hands dramatically, "Has Hudson been body snatched?"

"No," Finn replies, "I've just realized that fighting all of this progress gets you nowhere! Seriously, have you guys not noticed? We're actually winning this season."

Azimio shakes his head and slaps at Karofsky's shoulder like he can't believe his ears.

"Look around you man," Finn tells him, "No one's laughing with you anymore."

Their faces fall into grimaces while Finn looks to Brittany.

"I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but Britt's taught me what a real leader looks like and I think that's cool. Not gonna lie, I was mad that she replaced me but now that I've gotten to know her, I'm happy she's here. Actually, I'm glad she replaced me so we can finally have a damn chance!" Finn explains with a dopy grin before he hardens his gaze and looks back Azimio and Karofsky, "Maybe it's time you both learn something too?"

"Yeah," Puck chimes in as he flinches at them with his fists balled, "Like keeping your damn traps shut. You know, just for this bullshit – I don't want to see your faces at my place next week for Halloween."

"Dude! What?" Azimio scoffs.

Karofsky looks like he's about to cry. It nearly makes Brittany laugh; who knew getting an invite revoked could be so hurtful to those guys. Meanwhile, Brittany's still on the fence about going.

Puck just crosses his arms, "I'm with Finn here. You two need to cut the shit already."

"You say you want to win?" Finn asks them, "Well Britt's our best shot at that so just fall in line already."

"Or quit the team so the rest of us can focus," Sam suggests.

Mike nods along with him.

Azimio and Karofsky just stew in their annoyance, but they don't fight the other players. Brittany hopes that this is the last she'll hear from them, but she has a feeling they still have a little left in them.

But Finn smiles proudly and looks back to Brittany as he holds out his fist to her, "Take us to 8-1, Cap."

Brittany can't help but smile as she bumps her fist with his.

This is what a real team looks like, this is what she's been trying to show them all this time. You have each other's back and you respect one another, that's what you're meant to do when you're apart of a team and Brittany feel so proud to see this kind of progress.

"Alright, last play of the day. Up the Guts and Pop Right. Titans on three. One…two…three," She says followed by a loud clap, "Titans!"

Everyone falls into position and there's not a single word uttered from Azimio and Karofsky for the first time all afternoon.

When Brittany gets to her locker later the next day, she frowns when she doesn't see Santana there yet. She's wondering if maybe she missed her again or maybe she's too early when she spots Kurt and Mercedes walking towards her.

"Hey guys!" Brittany greets before putting in her locker combo.

"Your majesty," Kurt bows playfully.

Brittany chuckles, "You've got to stop doing that before it catches on."

"How you been?" Mercedes asks as she leans against Santana's locker.

Brittany's glad that she gets hers open in time because the door just so happens to block them from seeing her smile.

She really can't help it, because when she thinks of how she's been she thinks of the weekend. She's reminded of all the times she's made Santana laugh with something silly she said. She's reminded of how different Santana looks dressed in something other than her Cheerios uniform. She's reminded of how Santana's nose crinkles when she smiles really big and how it makes Brittany's heart flip at the sight of it.

"Good," Brittany answers casually.

"What have you been up to?" Mercedes wonders, "What was your weekend like?"

"Yeah," Kurt adds, "I didn't even see you leave after the game on Friday."

Brittany continues to play it coy as she pulls her books out, "I was hanging out with Santana."

"Again?" Mercedes asks.

Brittany let's out a quiet sigh. She let it slip once before that she and Santana hung out, but it seems like her friends haven't forgotten about it like she'd hope they would. She thinks it's a great thing that she's getting to know Santana better, but others – like Kurt and Mercedes – seem to disagree and she's starting to understand why Santana's always so guarded.

"Yeah," Brittany shrugs casually, "Santana's tutoring me for English."

"On a Friday night?" Mercedes questions.

Brittany doesn't get what the big deal is and nods.

"You've gotten quite close since Homecoming," Kurt comments and Brittany already hates where this is going.

"We're friends."

Mercedes sputters out a laugh, "That girl doesn't have friends. She has Quinn and people she wants to crush."

"Or crush on…" Kurt smirks at Brittany.

"What?" Mercedes looks confused.

The blonde's brows furrow too, "Yeah. What?"

"Maybe she likes you?" Kurt suggests, "That has to be it; that's the only logical explanation. Santana Lopez doesn't usually get close to anyone unless there's something in it for her."

"Or she's trying to throw sticks at your head," Mercedes adds, "Her aim is awful."

Kurt nods, "You're climbing ranks pretty fast, Britt, she probably just needs the popularity boost."

"Preach," Mercedes says with the wave of her hand.

Brittany frowns at the pair. She can't believe she's hearing them talk about Santana like this. It's actually making her a little annoyed, but she keeps her cool for now as she explains, "I don't think it's like that. Santana's nice. Maybe her stick throwing days are behind her?"

"Nice?" Mercedes' brows rise, "She doesn't know how to do that."

"Sure she does," Brittany responds; she can feel herself getting defensive but she keeps her cool.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Kurt says warily, "Just be careful around her. Other than Quinn and her reputation, there's not much else Santana cares about."

"You guys are making a lot of assumptions about someone you don't even talk to," Brittany points out as she stuffs the last book she needs into her bookbag. She tries to keep her voice even although she feels the back of her neck heat up, "Or do you talk?"

"Oh, I've tried talking to her," Kurt says.

"When?" Mercedes questions disbelievingly.

"Last year," Kurt says, "Remember? I extended an olive branch and she hit me with it."

"Okay, what's with all the sticks and branches?" Brittany sighs because she's struggling to keep up.

"I'm meaning figuratively," Kurt clarifies, "I've tried to make nice with her and it did not go well. She went off on me in front of everyone."

"I remember that. People don't call her Satan for nothing," Mercedes reasons, "And I thought Bree was bad."

"Oh no, she was way worse than Santana," Kurt says, "For obvious reasons, of course."

Brittany starts to wonder what he means and who this Bree person is.

"True," Mercedes replies with the shake of her head, "They were both nightmares. I'm glad we only have to deal with one of them now even if it has to be Satan."

And that's what puts Brittany over the edge.

She slams her locker shut, "Alright, that's enough. I don't think it's cool how you're talking about my friend like that."

Kurt's taken aback, "Wait, we're sorry. We got carried away. Santana's just…she's got a history of not being a nice person. We just don't want you getting hurt."

Brittany furrows her brows as she pulls on her bookbag, "Does it look like I can't take care of myself?"

Kurt and Mercedes look to each other guiltily.

"Look, I appreciate you both looking out for me but Santana is my friend," Brittany tells them firmly, "And I'm not going to listen to either of you talk about her when you don't even know her. God, you have no idea what goes on behind the scenes for her. You have no idea what she struggles with."

"Britt," Kurt tries, "We didn't mean to upset you, but like – what could she possibly have to struggle with other than the obvious? She's at the top of the food chain. She's popular, she's loaded, she's Santana Lopez."

"Everyone has something. Maybe you should think about that the next time either of you judge someone without knowing them," Brittany says. She hasn't been angry like this in awhile and she's sure it shows, "You're in the Glee Club, you know what it's like to be pushed down for being yourselves but at least you have a group of people who support you. She doesn't, so where's your damn compassion?"

She doesn't let them get in another word before she storms off to her last class of the day.

Santana's already seated in her usual seat when Brittany arrives to Ms. Holliday's classroom. She's still fuming, but she tries her best to mask it as she approaches their shared desk.

Clearly she doesn't do a very good job of it.

"You alright?" Santana asks as Brittany gets settled.

"Yeah?" Brittany tries to play it cool, "Why?"

She's organizing her binder and pulling out her pen just as Ms. Holliday starts to go through the warm up activity, but she can feel that Santana is still staring.

"You're all…pink in the face," Santana notes with a brow raised.

"Oh," Brittany rubs the back of her hand against her cheek like it's going to make it go away, "I forgot something in my locker and had to run back before the bell rang."

It's a lame excuse but she panicked.

She couldn't tell Santana that the real reason is because her so-called friends had just been talking down on her and it pissed Brittany off. She guesses she could, but she doesn't want Santana to retaliate and further prove that Kurt and Mercedes were right about her.

It's just hard for Brittany to believe that Santana could be anything like the stories they've told. Other than how she threatened JBI weeks ago, Brittany hasn't really witnessed that part of her before. Then again, she was pretty rude to Brittany when she first started at McKinley so that makes her wonder maybe there might be some truth behind her friends' warnings?

"Question," Brittany whispers to Santana.

"Yeah?"

Brittany bites her lip, "You've…never thrown sticks at my head, right?"

Santana chokes out a laugh and looks to Brittany only to find her looking back with this serious expression on her face. Santana softens, "No. I've never thrown sticks at your head."

"Have you thrown sticks at anyone's head before?" Brittany asks.

Santana tilts her head to the side, "I don't think so. Maybe when I was a little kid?"

"Okay," Brittany nods before going back to her work, "Just checking."

Santana only gives her a curious look before going back to do her activity too.

While Brittany answers the questions, she can't help but think back to her conversation with Kurt and Mercedes. The more time she spends getting to know Santana, the less she believes that this so-called Satan version exists.

If it did, then Brittany must be immune to it. Still though, she wonders about all the missing pieces to Santana that she has yet to learn like what went down last year and who this Bree girl is and why is everyone so bitchy to each other?

It's not until the next day that Brittany's curiosity finally gets the best of her.

She and Santana are studying together at the Lima Bean one afternoon and she's trying her hardest to focus on the examples Santana's going over, but there's too many nagging questions in her head and none of them are about Ms. Holliday's class.

"I have a question," Brittany finally says.

Santana pauses and looks up at Brittany, "Yeah?"

Brittany shifts a little in her seat, "It's not about this though."

Santana puts down her pen, "Okay?"

"Who's Bree?"

"Bree?" Santana blinks at her like she's not sure if she heard correctly.

Brittany nods, "Kurt and Mercedes mentioned something about her and you – "

"What'd they say?" She interrupts. There's a noticeable change right away as Santana sits straighter, her chin just slightly raised as if to say hit me with your best shot.

"Nothing really," Brittany assures her, "They just brought her up and how she wasn't really a nice person. I wanted to hear from you though because they kind of compared you...to her."

Santana instantly scoffs as she averts her gaze, "I'm nothing like her, that bitch was pure evil."

Brittany's brows rise at Santana's tone, but Santana softens just a little at the sight.

"Sorry. I guess I should be thankful that you didn't hear about it sooner," Santana sighs, "God knows people at this school love to start drama for no reason."

Brittany bites her lip at the sound of Santana being so bitter again. It reminds her of their conversation at the Homecoming Dance and how she could see Santana struggling with so much inside of her. She's never met someone who had such a hard time being themselves.

"Is this about last year?" Brittany wonders.

Santana lets out a deep sigh again. She's yet to look at Brittany as she answers, "Yeah."

"Oh," Brittany breathes out, "Well, I don't want you to feel pressured to talk about it if you're not ready. I was just wondering, you don't have to explain or whatever. We can go back to studying."

Santana chances a glance at Brittany rambling. Her voice is soft and small, "No, I want to tell you."

Blue eyes flicker between dark brown, "Are you sure?"

Santana nods, "I rather you hear it from me then someone else. At least you'll get the truth."

"Okay."

It takes Santana a moment before she begins to tell her story, but Brittany just sits there patiently waiting. There's another exhale and a glance at Brittany before Santana starts.

"So when Quinn and I joined the Cheerios in our Freshman year, Bree was the Captain," Santana explains, "That was back when there was only one. Anyway, she was a year older and didn't really like us from the very start. Not many girls on the squad were fond of her either, because she was a major bitch. A bigger one than me if you can imagine that."

Santana laughs at her own expense but Brittany only frowns.

"I can imagine that because I don't think you're a bitch," Brittany tells her earnestly.

Santana only smirks, "Well you're the only one. Anyway, we developed this rivalry pretty early on because I guess she felt threatened by Quinn and I? It only got worse as the year progressed. By Sophomore year, Quinn and I managed to convince Coach Sylvester that two Captains were better than one and Bree was demoted to the bottom of the pyramid."

"Woah," Brittany gasped.

"Yeah," Santana looks proud of herself, "Bree didn't like that very much, of course."

"I bet," Brittany chuckled.

"That was also around the time that I started to realize that I was," Santana pauses and at first she looks unsure but then she looks to Brittany, "I was realizing that I was gay."

Brittany tries to keep her proud smile small and nods for her to keep going.

"There was this girl," Santana admits, "She was a Junior – same as Bree – at Carmel High and a cheerleader too so we knew a little of each other since we often competed against them. She was like the only girl in this town that was openly gay – kind of like you, she was sure of who she was, confident. I thought she was so cool for that."

Brittany begins to smirk, "Does that mean you think I'm cool too?"

Santana begins to blush, "No."

"Convincing," Brittany chuckles, "Go on."

"Well, she became the first girl I knowingly had a crush on," Santana explains then quickly follows up with, "I don't know if it was an actual crush or if I was just amazed by how she carried herself. Like was it envy or did I really like her, you know?"

"I definitely know," Brittany says, "Do you want to be her or be on her, right?"

Santana looks a little surprised by Brittany's example, "Yeah, that. Anyway, she actually use to work at Elliott's as a barista. That's why I use to go there all the time. I was way too afraid to actually talk to her so I spent so much money on ordering drinks instead."

"Really?" Brittany begins to smirk, "That's kind of cute, Santana. It's kind of hard to imagine you being that shy."

"Shut up," Santana grumbles through an embarrassed smile, "As if you've never had a crush on someone you thought was out of your league."

Brittany chuckles, "You'd be surprised."

"I really would be," Santana replies, "I was terrified of anyone at school finding out so I tried my hardest to hide it. I dated guy after guy just trying to force the feeling away. I just wanted to be like everyone else – normal."

"It is normal," Brittany assures her.

"I didn't think so back then," Santana admits sadly, "I'm still trying to work on that now. It's hard when you're brought up a certain way with all this pressure to be the perfect whatever – student, daughter, girlfriend, cheerleader. Hiding who I was got tiring but at Elliott's – I felt safe, like I could be myself. No one from McKinley usually came out that way so there wasn't much risk of running into anyone I knew. I started to gain a little confidence and ended up going there every day for like a year just so I could talking to this girl for literally 5 minutes, it was so bad."

Brittany teases playfully, "Who knew you were such a romantic."

Santana smirks, "I guess I knew what I was doing because all that hard work finally turned into something. One day during my Junior year, she asked me if I wanted to hang out with her on her break. It was crazy; I didn't even think, I just said yes and we went out back and sat on the stoop just talking. She actually gave me my first cigarette that day. I felt so cool."

Brittany shakes her head at how Santana puffs out her chest a little, "Of course you did."

"What I didn't know was that Bree had been keeping tabs on me for the longest time," Santana continues, "At first she was thinking that I was making nice with someone on the Carmel squad and you know how deep this rivalry goes. No one is to fraternize with the enemy, so this was the perfect opportunity for Bree to get enough dirt on me so that she could take my spot as Co-Captain before she graduated."

Brittany starts to frown as she realizes where this might be going.

"She ended up getting way more than she asked for that day," Santana says ominously, "While she was staging some sort of stake out, Bree witnessed the moment I found out that this girl liked me too. We were sitting out on the back porch when she leaned over and kissed me. It was just on the cheek but still – I'd never been kissed by someone that I could actually have a chance with. It was the greatest moment of all time and Bree stole it from me by catching the whole thing on camera."

"Shit," Brittany gasped, "What?"

"The next day I came to school and the halls had been covered in pictures of the kiss," Santana whispers, "I was mortified. Quinn tried taking down as many as she could, but there were too many. People had already seen and Bree was just churning out rumor after rumor. Some were a little true and some weren't, but it didn't matter by then. I was in no position to even try and defend myself, especially when JBI started airing the video clip. The whole school had been exposed before I could do anything about it. I felt so…small I guess? I ran out of there crying."

"Oh my God, Santana," Brittany's heart feels so heavy, "That's horrible, I'm so sorry."

Santana shrugs, "Bree and JBI got suspended for a bit but the damage was done. They loved finally getting a chance to take their shots at one of McKinley's baddest. People either wanted to be me or feared me before that happened, but after? It was hard to bounce back. It's a good thing I have tough skin. Someone always has something to say, even now."

"It shouldn't have to be like that," Brittany shakes her head, "I don't get this school. I don't get how people can be so mean to each other. This is you, this is who you are and you're awesome. Why should you have to hide any of that?"

"Look, I'm not innocent either," Santana replies, "I've been a bitch to so many people. I guess it was like karma or something. Maybe I deserved it for the things I've said to people?"

Brittany reaches out to cover Santana's hand with her own. She moves without thinking, but she felt like it needed to be done. She needed some way to ground Santana enough so that she'd hear her and this was the best she could come up with.

"No one deserves to be outed," Brittany tells her, "No one."

Santana nods as she glances down at the hand on hers, "There's more."

Brittany's brows furrow as she pulls away.

"Not only did that video circulate in school, it went viral – even my parents saw," Santana continues, "I've never seen my dad so angry. Not only did I fuck up our family's reputation, I jeopardized my chance at getting into an Ivy League school. He's pretty well known and to have his only daughter being exposed in such a light…it was scandalous."

Brittany frowns at the sarcasm, "What about your mom?"

"It took her a second to understand but she's getting there. She's a little more supportive," Santana shrugs, "The biggest issue is with my dad. Reputation has always been of high importance on his side of the family so…it's been hard."

"I can only imagine," Brittany sighs.

"I missed so much school last year too because I was just so distracted with everything going on. I really screwed myself so he's been on my case this year to make sure I'm still in a position to get into a good school," Santana says.

"God Santana," Brittany replies, "I'm so sorry. I know I keep saying that but just…I can't think of anything else to say. I'm so speechless."

Santana nods and for a moment there's this faraway look on her face, "It's whatever now. I just… I wasn't ready, you know? I didn't even get a chance to tell my parents properly before they found out. I always was so careful. Dated the hottest guys, stayed on top of my grades, I was Co-Captain; I had this whole school wrapped around my finger just so no one would suspect a thing. I thought I could keep it up until graduation. I just thought I had more time to get everything figured out, you know?"

Brittany stays quiet this time, just soaking in everything Santana's said. It's all so heartbreaking. She can't imagine going through what Santana did. It must've felt like the whole world had turned its back on her and Brittany feels for her.

"So now you know about that," Santana says awkwardly as if she's trying to fill the silence, "This is why I'm a pain in the ass when it comes to my sexuality. Kurt and Mercedes have probably told you how cruel I've been to them and they're right about me there."

Brittany is quick to argue, "You were hurt, it takes time to heal especially from something like this."

"I was a bully and there's no excuse for it," Santana tells her, "I did what I did and I can't really take that back. I'm trying to be better now, but it's still hard for me to find the balance of what's me and what isn't. The lines have been blurred for so long."

"Well, I wasn't around to witness whatever happened between you and them or whoever you may have treated badly," Brittany says, "But this Santana I've come to know…she isn't a bully, she's my friend. She's considerate and patient. She volunteers her time to help me study and most importantly…she's nice."

"Thanks," Santana says shyly, "It's kind of cool having someone in my corner for once – other than Quinn, obviously. You're different. You make everything sound so simple, you know? You're just really wise, I guess."

Brittany chuckles at that, "I don't know about wise. I grew up in a very different place than you and I guess it shows."

"It really does," Santana agrees, "I hope I can get to where you are one day."

"You will," Brittany assures her.

"Thanks."

After a pause Brittany begins to wonder, "So whatever happened to the girl? The barista?"

"Oh," Santana frowns, "Nothing really, I just didn't know how to move forward after everything I put her through, you know? I felt bad about it all. She was really understanding I guess. Once she graduated a few months later, I never heard from her again."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Santana shrugs, "I wasn't like in love with her or anything. Honestly, I didn't expect her to stick around anyway. It was just too complicated. Sometimes it still feels that way, like I'm spinning my wheels and getting nowhere."

"Well, for what it's worth I think you're making great progress," Brittany says kindly.

"You think so?"

"Totally!" Brittany grins, "I mean, we went to Homecoming together. As friends, but did you ever imagine that would be something you'd do in high school? Have a cute girl like me for a date?"

Santana rolls her eyes at the teasing tone, "No one said you were cute."

"It doesn't have to be said," Brittany jokes.

Santana fights the blush, "To answer your question…No, I guess that's not something I imagined doing in high school."

"Consider it forward progress then," Brittany winks.

"Is that one of your football terms?"

"Yeah," Brittany giggles.

Santana shakes her head, "You're a dork."

"Rude," Brittany chuckles, "So what was this mysterious crush's name or is that top secret?"

"No it isn't top secret," Santana laughs. She softens a little like it's the first time she's said it out loud in awhile. In reality, it is. "Her name was Dani."

Brittany nods solemnly before reaching for her drink. It's cold by now but Brittany doesn't pay too much attention to it, she's still trying to process everything Santana's told her. She isn't surprised by how the kids at McKinley reacted to Santana's sexuality, but damn…she can't believe Santana went through something like that and she's still trying secure her spot at the top of the food chain.

That shows resilience and Brittany wonders if Santana knows how amazing she is for that. She notices how hard she struggles internally just from the couple of times they've talked about something other than school. Santana comments a lot on Brittany's traits and wanting to be like her one day, but Brittany finds herself wanting to embody just an ounce of what Santana has.

Other than her dad, Brittany doesn't think she's met anyone stronger than Santana and she really admires that about her.

"Sorry for bringing the mood down," Santana comments to fill the void. She has her pen in her hand again as she turns back to their work, "We can get back to this."

Brittany shakes away her thoughts, "No, don't be sorry. I was the one who asked, you didn't bring it down."

Santana smirks, "That's not what your face says."

Brittany relaxes, "I was just thinking – "

"About ending this session early?" Santana jokes.

"No," Brittany rolls her eyes playfully, "I was just thinking about how brave you are."

Santana looks surprised, almost disbelieving.

"All that stuff that happened to you; you could've switched schools, you could've changed your name and got a face lift, "Brittany rambles, "You could've dropped off the face of the Earth but you didn't. You still walk around the school like you own it even if you're afraid. I think that makes you brave."

"Or stubborn," Santana smirks, "Apparently I get that from my dad's side."

"Damnit Santana," Brittany grumbles though she smiles, "I'm trying to compliment you. Can you just take it? You don't always have to fight me. You do have good qualities about you even if everyone's trying to tell you otherwise."

Santana rests back in her chair and her brow is quirked but it's not in that challenging way Brittany's used to. It's more so impressed or maybe surprised? Either way, the smirk remains and Brittany awaits whatever snarky thing she's bound to say in reply.

"You've had chocolate powder on your nose this entire time," Santana notes instead, "Right on the tip. It's been very distracting."

Brittany's jaw drops and she quickly goes to wipe it off with the back of her hand. Sure enough, there's chocolate powder there and her cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment while Santana laughs her ass off.

"You're so hilarious, Santana," Brittany says sarcastically before she's reaching for Santana's discarded marshmallows and winds up to hurl one at her.

"Don't you dare, Pierce!" Santana laughs as she goes to hide behind her book.

"It's payback!"

"Take the high road!"

"Never!"

Soon marshmallows and wadded up napkins are being thrown back and forth while the baristas just watch from behind the counter laughing, "You guys are cleaning that up!"

Brittany just gives them a thumbs up before Santana's pelting her with a ball of crumbled up notebook paper.

\\\\\

For once, Santana actually feels genuine happiness.

It's been a long time, so long in fact that she can't remember the last time she felt happy but she's sure it doesn't involve Brittany. The past two weeks have been a blur for her. Not because they're so monotonous that the days blend into one, but because of how much lighter she feels now that she's being honest and open about everything.

Okay, maybe not everything and maybe she's not being honest and open with everyone but she's trying. For the first time, she actually feels like she's getting somewhere. With Brittany around, Santana feels like so much more is possible. To have someone like her rooting for her is something Santana's rarely experienced.

Sure, she has Quinn but with Brittany it hits differently and Santana might think she knows why.

It's silly, but she's started to count the number of times Brittany has smiled at her. Sometimes they're whispering about something in class and Santana will catch it from the corner of her eye. Sometimes she sees it from the other end of the hallway through the sea of students – it's like a beacon, a the light from a lighthouse guiding her through. Sometimes it's the first thing she sees when Brittany pulls off her helmet at the end of a game.

Santana finds her gaze lingering longer on those pretty pink lips, just watching the way they move around words that never quite reach her ears because her pounding heart drowns them out.

Santana has a pretty good streak going so far when it comes to seeing Brittany smile her way, but she's sure she would die the day she break it – if that day were to ever come.

She's hoping it never does.

But, Santana isn't the only one who has taken a closer look at their budding friendship.

Santana's on her way to her locker with her books clutched against her chest and her head held high like always when out of nowhere JBI slides into her path.

She instantly scoffs at him.

"Why are you in my way?" She demands.

"Santana Lopez, Co-Captain of the Cheerios and dating the star quarterback Brittany S. Pierce," JBI says into his mic with that smug grin of his on his face.

Santana grits her teeth even though the hairs at the back of her neck stand on end. It's a big accusation and Santana hates how her heart both skips a beat before it plummets.

"Care to comment?" JBI prompts.

"We're not dating," Santana says firmly before shoving the mic out of her face. She tries to walk around him and get out of there as fast as she can but he cuts her off again.

"Our sources have spotted you two together at numerous locations over the last couple of weeks," JBI replies, "Seems like we're going to get a repeat of last year?"

Santana rolls her eyes. If she wasn't holding onto her books, her fists would be balled at her sides, itching to punch him square in the throat. That's exactly what he wants out of her though. He wants a show and he knows just what to say to get one.

"We were studying," Santana says evenly. Really, she shouldn't even be explaining herself but there's this tug of fear at the back of her mind that urges her to be on the defense.

"Studying? Is that what the kids call it these days?" He asks slyly.

Santana gives him a look, "What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means you two are totally hooking up," JBI looks pleased with himself. He can see he's starting to wear Santana down and if he keeps at it, she'll give him a show.

"How do you come to that conclusion?" Santana she retorts before brushing past him. She can see what he's doing and yet she still manages to get one foot caught in his web.

She tries to walk away, but she goes about three steps before he's reeling her back in.

"You tell me," JBI sneers, "You're the one with a history of sucking face in public areas. Who's to say Brittany isn't your new conquest? I’m sure no one at this school would complain if another video of you and – "

Santana whirls on him and she's griping her books so tightly they're sure to snap. She's about two seconds away from losing it, so she tries to at least breathe before she accidentally kicks JBI's ass.

“It’s not going to happen,” Santana threatens, "Leave her out of this."

JBI only grins, “So there is something going on between you two?”

Santana just huffs, “Fuck off, JBI.”

"Now you're refusing to answer the question? Interesting. Your closeness at Homecoming should've been the first indicator that something was up," JBI smirks as he turns to his camera friend, “You heard it here first, McKinley.”

Santana shakes her head, "You know what? I'm not doing this. I'm not going to get dragged onto your bullshit gossip blog again. Nothing is going on, so drop this before I go all Lima Heights on your ass."

"You don't scare me anymore," JBI stands tall, "Not after your very public downfall. That video of you running down the hall crying last year still has the most hits out of all my vids."

Santana's chest feels tight and she's afraid if she were to speak her voice would crack. She's both infuriated and humiliated but which overpowers the other? Is she going to let JBI run his mouth? Should she just ignore him and go about her day? She can't; she can't let him get away with peddling rumors about her again – not when they involve Brittany too.

She feels so conflicted, because despite how false these rumors are no one would believe her if she told the truth anyway. This school is so damn backwards they’ll listen to this dweeb with a mic before they hear the truth – especially when it comes to her private life. This is why she’s so hellbent on keeping everything she feels under wraps! You give these people an inch and they take a mile.

"Listen," Santana takes a threatening step forward. Her voice drips into something low and gravely, "You got away with it last time but I'm not playing games with you anymore so watch your goddamn mouth. This isn't like last year. Bree's not around to back you up."

"I don't need Bree," He says shakily, "You're not as high and mighty as you think you are. Your only saving grace now is that you're still somehow a Cheerio. Other than that? You're all talk."

Santana looks back at him in disbelief, "Is that so?"

JBI doesn't get a chance to reply before Santana's dropping her books and going to kick him between the legs. The shriek he lets out echoes down the hall but Santana doesn't stop. She goes for the camera-kid next and rips the camera from his hands before smashing it on the ground, pleased to see it shatter into chunks of plastic.

JBI scrambles to his feet and they begin to shove at each other while the camera-kid just stares wide-eyed at the mess that was once his beloved camera.

All Santana sees is red as students start to gather around them. Despite what she might say, Santana's not much of a fighter but JBI isn't much of one either so the match up is pretty even. Santana just swings her arms, hoping to land at least half of the blows she wants. All of this pent of frustration that's been building since last year has finally found an exit and its target is JBI.

It isn't until Mr. Schue notices the ruckus and rushes in to break it up.

"Woah!" He shouts, "What is going on here?"

"She assaulted me!" JBI cries before hiding behind the teacher.

"Like hell I did," Santana snaps and lunges at JBI again, "You haven't seen assault yet!"

"Hey!" Mr. Schue holds her back, "Principal's office, both of you. Let's go."

Santana only manages to grab her books before she's being pushed to towards the office with Mr. Schue's hand on her shoulder and JBI whimpering next to her. God, all she wants to do is kick him again for the dramatics – he really knows how to play an audience.

Just as they're about to cross the science wing, Santana spots her best friend in the crowd. Quinn is giving her a worried look but Santana's sure that one glance at JBI will have her connecting the dots. With him around, trouble always follows closely behind Santana.

Afterall, how long is she meant to take all of this crap before she actually does something about it? She didn't lash out at Bree. She didn't lash out with JBI. She didn't lash out at the entire school, so what the hell do they expect from her now?

She's been angry and frustrated about everything for so long and she has been bottling it up, trying to save face and make it to graduation but at what cost? She has to deal with it at school and at home and she can't do it anymore – something's gotta give, but what?

She's just tired.

She's been tired and she's so over being afraid of what everyone thinks about her. This isn’t anything like who she use to be. She use to feel confident in herself, she use to walk around the school like she owned – and maybe on the outside, it still looks that way. Inside though, she’s a wreck. Was it all an act or was she truly fearless? She’s been playing both sides for so long, she can’t even remember what’s real anymore.

All she knows it that she’s over it all and there comes a time when you have to start doing something about it.

For Santana, that time starts now.

#Lost in the Lights #Brittana #Brittana Fanfiction #QB!Britt

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edengarden · 4 years ago

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hi! may i please have a regular haikyuu matchup? i’m a straight female and i’m a scorpio with personality type istp! for appearance, i’m about 5’7 last time i checked, i have brown eyes and brown hair. i have a red scar above my eyebrow but i can typically cover it up with my hair and it looks like todoroki’s scar but misplaced haha! i have an athletic build since i’m a competitive figure skater!

i’ll start with flaws since that’s easier >.< :

i have narcolepsy which is a big pain. it really affects me and my everyday life. so, typically i’m really tired and it’s hard for me to sleep at night so i’m a big night owl to the max. but when i’m energized, i’m like energized energized! i’ve been told i’m intimidating, and that it seems as though i don’t like to show emotion. i really don’t like to show my more negative emotions, i don’t want others to see me as weak and look down upon me. i’m a super impulsive person and don’t nessecarily think when i’m in a panic which a lot of times end me up in bad situations. i’m quiet which i don’t think it’s bad, but i’m not afraid to speak my mind and call someone out when needed. i’m stubborn and hate hate hate asking others for help. i judge a lot and i’m a really selective person, so if we are friends, then that means something. i hate unorganized spaces and i don’t like giving my opinion. if i don’t like something i will go out of my way to avoid it and just ignore whatever it is whether it’s schoolwork or a person, i could care less. i just really don’t care about things either way life will go on and i just have to live with it, i could care less.

now for a more positive go:

i’m a super fun person! like i said, when i’m energized i’m energized! when i’m most awake is at night typically so that’s when i do lots of things! i can do a hella good scooby doo impression like scarily good. my favorite thing to do is go to get slurpees at 7/11 when it’s 4 am because the employees are too tired to yell at me for getting two flavors. favorite song is womanizer by britany spears and i love to scream it at the top of my lungs to feel like a baddie b. i’m very loyal and keep my friends super close, because if i trust them then that is saying something. i’m super independent which can be a good and bad thing, i try to do everything efficiently and alone. i’m a perfectionist which is also probably a bad thing agh. i really like monster energy drinks and when i just straight up don’t sleep catch me surviving off of pure willpower with a monster in hand. i try to make the most of my life while i can, because i know if i die it might as well be in a badass way so i’m pretty adventurous! my passion in this world is figure skating and i’m a national champion! i love to surf and i love to snowboard. i’m a huge reader and i even work at a local bookstore! you can catch me with a book usually and i love anything to do with true crime, marine biology, and linguistics. i love anime and it makes me all happy and cozy to sit up in a. corner on a saturday morning and binge watch one piece with my chai tea. i also love christmas, especially the song mele kalikimaka i could sing it year round! my favorite thing in the entire world is plants eeeee!! i love plants so much i could go on for hours about them, i have many plants and my favorite one is a monstera a close friend gave me and ahh i love them! though, runner ups behind are chai tea and candles! i play the viola and i have a love hate relationship with the instrument. my favorite songs are lucy in the sky with diamonds and just like heaven but i also love classical music like clair de lune and danse macabre. my favorite bands are queen, nirvana, abba, billie holiday, and fleetwood mac! i’m a sucker for anything vintage and from the 40’s or 70’s. i have a dark academia type aesthetic i guess and love dressing of the sort.

hmm fun facts:

i’m from the netherlands and i love love love snow and any sort of rainy weather

i can speak 9 different languages and learning languages is one of my favorite things i find them so fascinating, (dutch, english, spanish, french, japanese, portugese, russian, german, and swedish! i’m trying to learn italian !!

my favorite book or manga i guess, is anything by junji ito

i can dislocate my fingers and relocate them

i love ferrets! i used to volunteer at my local shelter all the time.

i love horror movies as well the movie sleeping beauty it always makes me happy

i love wrapping presents

the way i got my scar was by once hitting my head on a coat rack because i was way too confident i was dreaming and that my head would just go right through, i wasn’t dreaming.

i’ve been kicked out of a walmart for laughing at a bag of marshmallows when i was way too tired and i probably looked like a maniac to be fair

these aren’t very fun facts bleh

my favorite color is either orange or navy blue and white

i’m rambling now and itend to ramble when i write i’m so sorry, thank you so much for your time and have a good day !!!

OH MY GOSH CLAIR DE LUNE IS THE MOST ROMANTIC SONG ON THIS EARTH?? Shit makes me cry.

Omg you’re such a mood too

I’m matching you up with Akaashi!

Especially with the negative traits that you’ve highlighted, I think he’d be a great option for you! Akaashi’s a trustworthy individual; I think he has an aura that just screams “trustworthy”, and we KNOW he’s a loyal mf. He’s a bit worried about SOME of your habits, but he would understand that you can’t exactly control your narcolepsy. Will he search it up to see if there’s anything he can do for you? Yes, absolutely. But he won’t outright help you; he’ll only start doing that (wordlessly) when he notices that you don’t reach out for help.

Oh my gosh, your dynamic is so amazing?? Akaashi being calm and collected and you being an absolute gremlin. I love it. At the beginning you’re just like “hey look what I can do” and you freakin dislocate a finger and boy freaks out, but after two years he just goes “nice baby I’m proud :)” and really, he IS proud. And he’ll tell you often. He also never misses a skating event; he’ll make sure to clear his schedule for them. Akaashi really enjoys the sport, it’s really beautiful to him. He thinks it’s an art.

You two are such an Intellectual Couple though?? With you practically being a linguist and him in literature? Big respect, people see you and they have to fight back the urge to bow. Y’all are royalty, and that’s that.

ALSO AOSKSJDHS THE THOUGHT OF YOU TWO SETTLED DOWN ON THE COUCH WITH FACE MASKS AND WINE WATCHING TRUE CRIME SHOWS IS SO FUNNY YET SO ACCURATE THESE ARE YOUR FAVOURITE DATES

Songs!!

- Jazz Suite No. 2: VI. Waltz II, Dmitri Shostakovich (do not question me; Akaashi wants to learn the waltz for this song)

- I’ll Follow the Sun, The Beatles

- Moondance, Van Morrison

- Win, David Bowie

#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu!!#matchup #akaashi keiji

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aububuh · 8 years ago

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All the asks!!!

1. If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? - Assuming this means I would never be tired, I would just feel better in general. I’d probably watch more movies and write more music or something.

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned? - My Pipco shirt has done good things for me.

3. What hobby would you pick up if time & money weren't an issue? - I would play like every instrument.

4. What does your perfect room look like? - High ceiling, no standing waves or nodes, world’s greatest audio playback equipment, a wall of guitars, an opposite wall of keyboards, and a drumkit. Oh, and a bed I guess.

5. How often do you play sports? - NEVER

6. What fictional place would you like to visit? - A place I’d be good with just going once would be the Room of Requirement from Harry Potter, just to see the generations worth of crap that people left there. (yes i know it got burned down just pretend it didn’t)

7. What job would you be terrible at? - I mean I quit Whataburger after like a day, so.

8. When was the last time you climbed a tree? - Maybe a few months ago? I’m not sure.

9. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a medal for? - Staying up too long.

10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have? - Maybe that I pick my nose? I don’t get how it’s all that annoying though, and it makes my face feel better.

11. What job do you think you'd be really good at? - Anything where I complete entertainingly challenging tasks and don’t have to talk to strangers.

12. What skill would you like to master? - Microphone placement.

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? - I want to go to Frank Zappa’s old house and see the studio. It would have been even better a year ago when all his stuff was still in it, but I still want to be in the space.

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like? - Approximately like Zappa’s house, with a badass studio and comfy areas to just exist.

15. What's your favorite drink? - Water

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to? - I think I was in New Jersey for about half an hour once. Never again.

17. What songs do you have completely memorized? - Most Frank Zappa songs

18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in? - Star Trek, but the TV version.

19. What do you consider to be your best find? - I found the Grim Fandango soundtrack at a thrift store for 25 cents once. It goes on ebay for like $60.

20. Are you usually early or late? - I am early for everything. Sometimes too early. I can’t stand being late.

21. What pets did you have when you were growing up? - A series of fish that all died. The last time I had fish, one of them got hurt, and then the other one ate him.

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with? - Either my mom needs me to tell her how to do a really simple computer thing, or my friends need me to give advice on relationship troubles or something.

23. What takes up too much of your time? - When I waste time spacing out instead of doing a concrete thing that requires any kind of time investment.

24. What do you wish you knew more about? - Rudy Van Gelder’s recording techniques. Problem is he’s dead and he never told anybody what he did.

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being frozen for 100 years? - “Did The Rage And The Fury ever come out? No? FUCK”

26. What are some small things that make your day better? - I like when my friends send me stuff that made them think of me.

27. Who's your go-to band or artist when you don't know who or what to listen to? - Spirit Phone by Lemon Demon is pretty much my go-to album.

28. What's the best way to start the day? - Sleeping.

29. What TV shows do you like? - Currently airing, pretty much just Steven Universe and Orphan Black. Apart from that, Buffy, Hannibal, and Star Trek: TNG are all favorites.

30. What TV channel doesn't exist but really should? - One that airs things I might want to watch more than a few times every couple months.

31. Who has impressed you most with what they've accomplished? - Frank Zappa, Barack Obama, and the friends of mine who have to deal with their brains yelling at them. All of them are badasses.

32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently? - Preferably none. I think every year I become a better version of myself, and I don’t want that to stop.

33. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? - If I hear about a thing that’s popular but like super demeaning in some way like Split or whatever, I’ll avoid it forever.

34. What's your ideal way to spend a weekend? - Sleeping late and doing something productive that’s not related to school.

35. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don't think you could live without? - Good audio playback equipment. I can’t stand using headphones for more than like an hour or two at a time, and good speakers sound better anyway.

36. What is your claim to fame? - I posted a thing about Wedge Antilles once.

37. What is something you enjoy doing the old-fashioned way? - I totally prefer recording a whole band in a room to tracking everything individually. I do it myself because I don’t usually have other people to play with, but for other people’s music it’s just more fun when I’m capturing a live performance. It’s how so many classic recordings were done, but it’s so uncommon these days and that kinda bums me out.

38. What's your favorite book or movie genre? - Sci-fi I guess, but I tend to really like stuff that bends genre in amusing ways regardless of the genre it’s bending.

39. How often do you people-watch? - Whenever I feel like I can get away with it.

40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? - I realized last week that the US Democratic party is what a centrist party should be; everything is just so skewed to the right that they seem liberal by comparison. I wish we had a real liberal party that was able to compete on the national stage, but we’re never going to get away from the two party system until we change a whole lot of shit.

41. What's the best day of the year? - The best day of this year was when I saw Mike Keneally with my buddy Moped. Possibly the best day of my life?

42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of? - I would say not enough people have heard of Frank Zappa, or at least have checked out enough of his music to have a real opinion on him.

43. How do you relax after a long day of work? - Work for me is usually doing sound for rock bands, typically until pretty late at night, so I just crawl up in bed and read dumb shit online until I drop all the energy I build up from working.

44. What's the best book series or TV series you've ever read or watched? - Hannibal for TV. I need to read the books.

45. Where is the farthest you've ever been from home? - Latvia for 5 months in 2014.

46. What's the most heartwarming thing you've ever seen? - Idk, probably some sappy romance in a show I like. I’m a sucker for that sort of thing.

47. What is the most annoying question people ask you? - This one.

48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation? - Frank Zappa, or any number of subcategories about him. The evolution of his guitar tone, the influence of his favorite music on his own work, his history of band members, etc.

49. If you were the dictator on a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? - I’d do REALLY crazy shit like guarantee everyone human rights. Unless they’re nazis. Frankly I have no idea why this is crazy, but some Americans would tell you it is.

50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? - Listen to Frank Zappa. JK, he’s not for everyone. Everybody should go hear a band they love play live though. There’s nothing like it.

51. Would you rather go hand gliding or whitewater rafting? - HANG GLIDING FUCK YEAH

52. What's your dream car? - A self-driving one.

53. What's worth spending more on to get the best? - Right now I’m researching acoustic treatment so my speakers won’t sound like crap in my bedroom, so I’m gonna go with that.

54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don't get? - One night stands tbh. I’m demisexual, so it just sounds awful and gross. I’m glad other people enjoy them though.

55. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? - Making a living at the thing I do.

56. Where is the most interesting place you've been? - In terms of experiencing culture, Latvia. I’m so glad I got to absorb all that information from talking to people, and it gave me a more direct experience with the after effects of totalitarianism than many Americans *coughtrumpvoterscough* have ever been exposed to.

57. What's something you've been meaning to try but haven't gotten around to it? - Fried ice cream. I’ve been fascinated by the concept since I was a kid.

58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week? - I SAW MIKE KENEALLY AND HUNG OUT WITH MY FRIEND MOPED

59. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind, only to experience it for the first time again? - I honestly get more enjoyment out of media when I’m experiencing it for subsequent times, so none. I love rereading books, rewatching movies, and listening to albums enough times to memorize every note.

60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have? - The one I have but more often.

61. What amazing thing have you done that no one was around to see? - Released music on the internet. 4 people downloaded my last single.

62. How different was your life 1 year ago? - About the same but harder. College has been getting easier for me since I’ve gotten used to it.

63. What quirks do you have? - My chin is lopsided and my left arm sticks out at an angle. As far as personality quirks, I have about as many as the average person, which is to say too many to list.

64. What would you rate 10/10? - Spirit Phone by Lemon Demon, One Size Fits All by Frank Zappa, and the Rite of Spring by Igor Stravinsky.

65. What fad or trend do you think should come back? - Recording live bands in a room together!

66. What is the most interesting piece of art you've seen? - I’ve seen tons of great art, but today I saw this thing that was like a giant inflatable tent that let sunlight through and turned it into different colors. Check this out.

67. What kind of art do you enjoy most? - I have no idea how to define my taste in art, I just like something or I don’t.

68. What do you hope never changes? - I hope Lemon Demon albums keep coming out. I don’t know how you could top Spirit Phone though.

69. What city would you most like to live in? - Somewhere in California might be fun.

70. What movie title best describes your life? - It Might Get Loud

71. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? - Because I’m good at it and it’s damn fun

72. What's the best way a person can spend their time? - Making themselves happy in a positive way.

73. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make? - A badass guitar. Possibly something like Jerry Garcia’s Wolf with a billion knobs and stuff.

74. Where is the most relaxing place you've ever been? - My bedroom

75. What's the luckiest thing that has ever happened to you? - I SAW MIKE KENEALLY WITH MY BUDDY MOPED AND WE HUNG OUT WITH THE BAND FOR A MINUTE

76. Where would you rather be from? - I’m technically from New York, but I was 3 when I moved so it doesn’t really matter where I’m actually from.

77. What are some things you've had to unlearn? - I mean there’s the obvious ones like racism, sexism, being a dick in general, but also I had some bad audio habits that I’ve had to kick. I always have to force myself to mix my own vocals loud enough on my song, which led into me doing something similar when I first started doing live sound for other people. Audiences like hearing what the singer is saying.

78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months? - I can’t wait to sleep more this summer. (This is a reoccurring theme in this ask thing isn’t it)

79. What website do you visit most often? - Tumblr is probably the one I spend the most overall time on, but I usually split my time fairly evenly. I look at Facebook a lot, but usually not for more than a few moments at a time. I read a decent amount of Twitter, but I almost never tweet anything. I also like looking at instruments for sale on Craigslist.

80. What one thing do you really want but can't afford? - Probably some guitar or keyboard. Shit, if I could I would have every instrument ever.

81. Where do you usually go when you have free time? - My bedroom.

82. Where would you spend all your time if you could? - My bedroom.

83. What's special about the place you grew up? - I have a really nice bedroom. It’s changed a lot depending on what I use it for at the time, but it’s been the same color since I picked it out when I was 4.

84. What age do you want to live to? - I’m good with whatever life gives me. I could live to 100 but I wouldn’t be too peeved if I died next week.

85. What are you most likely to become famous for? - My dream is to be that producer at the Grammys who called Taylor Swift on the phone from the podium to say their album won. That was the coolest.

86. What are you absolutely determined to do? - Someday I want to do a really awesome orchestral recording. I don’t even care that much what the music is, I just want to do that.

87. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? - I can make bands of old dudes who are wary of a spunky young sound person like me by making them sound as good as possible.

88. What do you wish you knew more about? - Drum overhead placement.

89. What question would you most like to know the answer to? - How the heck do I get that clean tone that Zappa had in 1988.

90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person? - “Why did you vote for who you did in 2016?”

91. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major? - I feel like most opinion changes happen so gradually that they’re hard to notice, so I have no idea.

92. What's the best compliment you've ever received? - I really like when people compare my music to Zappa without knowing that I love him as much as I do.

93. As the only human left on earth, what would you do? - Find the Zappa vault and listen to everything, then die.

94. Who inspires you to be better? - My friends, who are all awesome.

95. What do you want your epitaph to be? - “Eh, good enough I guess”

96. What haven't you grown out of? - Shirts I had when I was like 14, interestingly.

97. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in? - Any social event with tons of people I don’t know and where I don’t have a friend keeping me company the whole time.

98. What's the dumbest thing you've done that actually turned out pretty well? - I made a tumblr, which has given me multiple good friends.

99. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about? - Idk, that would be a pretty boring book for anyone who didn’t know me.

100. What's something you will never do again? - Talk to this one asshole.

101. How do you hope you'll change as a person in the future? - I want to like myself more.

102. What keeps you up at night? - Usually the internet. On more fun nights, conversations with friends.

103. What's the most surprising self-realization you've had? - “Oh shit, 14 year old me was a fuckin’ asshole”

104. What is the most illegal thing you've ever done? - nah

105. How do you get in the way of your own success? - I’m not as proactive about looking for work as I probably should be. Same with getting ahead in school. I tend to put in just the work that will get me by in my classes, and I don’t really pursue any extracurricuals or anything.

106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you? - Acne some nerd who talks about stuff they don’t care about

107. What is your biggest regret? - nah

108. What do you look down on people for? - Being children. Not like, I think badly of them for being childish, I mean I have to literally look down at kids because I’m taller than they are.

109. What bridges do you not regret burning? - There’s a couple I should have burned sooner, but one of them I just had no idea who he really was for the longest time.

110. What lie do you tell most often? - “I can sing”

111. What would be your spirit animal? - Isn’t this appropriation or something? I’m not completely clear on this one so somebody let me know.

112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older? - Best is being a smarter, better version of myself. Worst is taxes.

113. What are you most likely very wrong about? - I believe that the US has a fundamental promise of hope.

114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it? - Idk, designing flags is hard.

115. What's happened that changed your view on the world? - November 2016 made me doubt 113.

116. What is the biggest lesson you've learned? - There are more terrible people in the world than I hoped.

117. What is the most immature thing you do? - I still think fart jokes are more often hilarious than they are bad.

118. What are you famous for among your friends & family? - Existing?

119. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be? - Cheese, then the absence of cheese, then lots of cheese.

120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn't have? - I support the institution of taxation as a necessary part of running a functional government, but I wish I didn’t have to pay 15% as a freelancer.

121. What are 3 things you want to accomplish before you die? - Record an orchestra, Have somebody heard of me by reputation who’s not a friend of a friend or something, and have dinner with Joe Travers.

122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self? - “You’re gonna like music more than acting, so you might as well get a head start.”

123. What's the best thing you got from your parents? - I’d like to think I have at least some of my dad’s work ethic. I definitely have his sense of humor.

124. What's the best thing about you? - I’m good at talking with people.

125. What blows your mind? - There are over a hundred Zappa albums.

126. Have you ever saved someone's life? - Not directly

127. What are you really good at but embarrassed to be good at? - Honestly can’t think of anything. Ask me later.

128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like? - Clear skin, bad taste in media, shitty friend, makes a living.

129. What are 3 interesting facts about you? - I’m tired, I should go to bed, and I think this is an absurdly long ask thing.

130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? - There’s a scar on my finger from the first time I ever used a pocket knife. It was a gift from a friend’s uncle or some such relative, and he freaked out 100x more than I did when I cut myself.

131. What's the title of the current chapter in your life? - “Now we’re getting somewhere I guess”

132. What were some of the biggest turning points in your life? - Doing DI, being politely kicked out of DI because I didn’t realize yet that depression was a thing and it was affecting my work, apprenticing at a venue, probably some other, more pleasant stuff.

133. What's the hardest lesson you've learned? - No matter how far I go at being what I consider a good person, I can always do better.

134. What do people think is weird about you? - I like some really weird music.

135. What mistake do you keep making? - Carrying too much stuff at once. Thankfully I don’t usually drop it though.

136. What have you created that you're most proud of? My Christmas album.

137. What do you doubt? - That I’m good at music.

138. What are some of your morals? - The current president is Bad.

139. What do you want to be remembered for? - Being a good friend and also making cool music.

140. What do you regret not doing in your childhood years? - I never got to go to Legoland back when I would have enjoyed it most. I’d still love to go tbh.

141. What is your favorite fragrance? - Whatever my friends each smell like, because it makes me think of them.

142. What do you think your last words will be? “Well okay”

143. Who or what do you take for granted? - Probably that my parents will always be there if I need them.

144. Why would you be annoying as a roommate? - Loud music all the time.

145. What is something you're insecure about? - My face

146. What's the best & worst piece of advice you've received? - Best is “done is better than perfect”. Worst is “put that pressure zone mic at an angle from the ground.

147. What irrational fears do you have? - If a friend doesn’t text me back I sometimes worry that they’re dead. It’s annoying.

148. What makes a good life? - Doing whatever it is that makes you happy and leaving a good impression on the people in your life.

149. What's the last adventure you went on? - I went to McKinney and SAW MIKE KENEALLY

150. What is the most memorable gift you've received? - My dad gave me a Gibson SG. It’s pretty great.

#ask #mopedarooni

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latoyarubalcava3546 · 7 years ago

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Just 17 Stories About Encounters With Really Big Penises

“He was a big penis with a big penis.”

I dated a dude who was packing a footlong. The sex was uncomfortable, at best, and he refused to go down on me. I dumped him after a year of making up excuses to not have sex. The crazy part was that he had no clue that he was big — every time we talked about his size, he couldn't believe he was anything more than average. —hollyskittlesb

As a gay lady, I haven’t seen many penises since I lost my virginity at 17. But my first experience with someone of the opposite sex was with a guy who, to date, has the biggest penis I have ever seen. We were camping with a large group, tents and horses, down by the Suwannee river in Florida. My high school boyfriend and I retired early to my tent where we commenced a hot and heavy petting session. After retaining my permission, he whipped out a vey long, rock solid and extremely girthy penis.

We spent the next ten minutes simply working on getting the tip in. It was exhausting and painful, but he was determined and I was battling ‘I don’t want to be gay’ syndrome so I was patient, despite the agony of having my lady bits spread beyond their expectations. It didn’t take long once he was finally in, much to my relief. But sometimes when I dredge up this memory I can still feel the force of that massive appendage pressing its way into tender flesh. I won’t say the experience turned me off to men completely — I think that was already a done deal — but it definitely made me appreciate the wonders of lube. —kristens13

funnyjunk.com

A little while ago I was pretty much IN LOVE with this guy that appeared on my favorite reality TV show. I was a fan and would watch his Instagram live every chance I got. One day he noticed me from a comment I made and sent me a DM. We exchanged numbers and ended up developing a long distance relationship, and he sent me a dick pic that pretty much made me choke on my coffee. I thought he'd be average size judging by his height but he was PACKING. I was sure he'd break me in half. Unfortunately we broke things off before I was set to fly to see him for a weekend. That was the dick that got away. —phoebecruz

I was grabbing drinks with my best mate and he brought along a buddy. We had to use the restroom around the same time, and long story short it was big enough that he had to use two hands to pee. I wasn't even jealous at that point, just afraid. —mcgoddamn

Fox Searchlight Pictures

I met a guy on Tinder, and after one of our dates we ended up back at his place. I honestly went in trying to resist, but I couldn’t help myself and clothes went flying. My go to move is to hang my head off the edge of the bed and undo their pants while they stand over me before I give them head. When I pulled his boxers down his dick hit my forehead and I fucking almost choked on the thought of that thing in my throat. I don’t think I got more than an inch of that sucker in my mouth, and the sex was almost unenjoyable. ALMOST, because the girth on that log cock was nuts. Needless to say, sometimes when i’m feeling brave, I’ll hit him up. —oliviavincentk

When I was in school there was this guy that tried to get with me for months. He kept telling me "my dick is the size of a keyboard" and I continuously ignored him. Eventually I changed my mind I guess and I was in his bedroom and when he pulled it out, my first thought was "oh my God, it really is the size of a child's toy keyboard" I was ready to take on the challenge but quickly realized it was too big for me. He could barely get the tip in without me whining about it hurting and it basically slipping out. One time it slipped out and in between my thighs, I just squeezed my thighs super, super tight and let him fuck that thinking that was my vagina 'cause there was no way his dick was fitting in me. —breg4234ec519

Ex-boyfriend was around 11 inches. He was a giant penis, so I guess it stood to reason he had one too. —heinrichgabrielf

It was my sophomore year of college and I was a virgin. This guy in one of my classes and I had been flirting and one night he invited me over. Of course at the time when I first saw it I thought it was regular because I hadn’t seen many penises before, but I could barely get my mouth around it. When he tried to put it in only the tip fit. I was so embarrassed because I thought it was my fault. He was a good sport though about it. I found out later that he had been doing adult movies on the side to make some extra cash. —oliviap442af5447

Fox

I met a dude while I was working at a shoe store. He was embarrassed about his large shoe size, to which I said saucily, “well you know what they say about big feet” with a wink. Fast forward. We start dating, and, man, did I find out how appropriate that joke was. Dude was HUGE! It was at least 11 inches. Sex was...difficult. I can remember him saying “yeah guys always want a big dick, but it’s actually really annoying.” —marleep3

I used to have a FWB situation with this guy and I shit you not his dick was like a fucking can of Monster energy drink. I'm talking length and girth. The first time I saw it I honest to god gasped out loud. To this day the best sex I've ever had was with him. Sex with him had me feeling so full and it rode that fine and sweet line between pleasure and pain. Now I shed a tear for that glorious dick I lost when he moved across the country. —vanessam4d77c73c0

MTV

I hung out on a nude beach in Hawaii for a few months. One guy had the biggest penis on the beach—this huge, foot long, uncircumcised, monstrous looking dong. He was so proud! He’d strut up and down the beach grinning about it. —hillaryg5

My first one night stand when I was 17. It was dark I reached out to jerk him off and thought I’d grabbed his forearm. He was so big he nearly broke me. —bhogan535

youtube.com

My exes dick was like a baseball bat. Seriously — in length, girth, and shape. I mean, not seriously, but it was AT LEAST 10 inches. It had a larger head than shaft so it felt amaaaazing when he took his time and pulled all the way out and back in. But heaven help me when he got to pounding away, I could feel my cervix wincing. —ladydanger2020

10 inches and as thick as my wrist. The problem? He thought his ten inches was all he needed to bring to the bedroom to make the sex good. He just laid there like the physical incarnation of a yawn. Best sex I ever had? Five inches with a throw me up against a wall attitude that did. not. quit. —thedistancetohere222

I went to a tiny Christian university in Idaho. I was dating a boy who grew up with missionary parents, so he was very religious but also 6’6”, and had a dick to match. Because we were both religious at the time we were not having penetrative sex. Boys and girls were not allowed in each other’s rooms, so we were always jerking each other off in closets, empty classrooms and his RA office at night. I had never seen a penis in real life so when we first started messing around I didn’t think too much of the fact that he was at least 10 inches long when hard and that my hand couldn’t fit around the shaft. I just assumed this was normal. After a year and a half of dating we never had penetrating sex. I still wonder sometimes what it would have felt like, and feel a little relieved that the first dick inside of me wasn’t 10 inches long. —samanthah470d36cca

youtube.com

I was 18, and the guy I was seeing was this 6'7" football player, and when the time came to get naked, it was so big, I lied and said I was out of condoms so I could avoid trying to accommodate such a giant. My inexperience definitely contributed to my lack of confidence. Can't say I would have declined if I saw it today! He was BLESSED. —christinak4c924587c

At the beginning of my sophomore year of college, I met this guy from another college who was visiting some friends. We ended up hooking up that night, and his penis was the biggest I had ever seen — at least 10 inches hard. Fast forward to me going down on him, it was too big to fit in my mouth and it fell out, but when it fell out it flung back and smacked onto his stomach and made a really loud slapping noise. I started laughing so hard, I probably killed the mood. —afin21

Stories have been edited for length and clarity.

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lolmohammed667 · 7 years ago

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Just 17 Stories About Encounters With Really Big Penises

I GET MY MONEY FOR NOTHING AND MY CHICKS FOR FREE!

“He was a big penis with a big penis.”

funnyjunk.com

Fox Searchlight Pictures

Ex-boyfriend was around 11 inches. He was a giant penis, so I guess it stood to reason he had one too. —heinrichgabrielf

Fox

MTV

My first one night stand when I was 17. It was dark I reached out to jerk him off and thought I’d grabbed his forearm. He was so big he nearly broke me. —bhogan535

youtube.com

Stories have been edited for length and clarity.

[Read More ...]

GUYS WHO DON'T HAVE CASH DON'T GET LAID! CHANGE THAT!

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greggsdiabetes-blog · 8 years ago

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The Secret Foods Elite Athletes Eat

New Post has been published on http://www.greggsdiabetes.com/the-secret-foods-elite-athletes-eat/

The Secret Foods Elite Athletes Eat

Clare Gallagher, who won the 2016 Leadville Trail 100, began her ultrarunning career while undergoing a teaching fellowship in a rural corner of Thailand. There wasn’t a single sport-specific gel packet or PowerBar within a hundred-mile radius of her town. Gallagher, now 25, improvised, sucking down Coca-Cola, Thai milk coffee, pure sugarcane, and lots and lots of packets of sweet sticky rice.

Not only did Gallagher feel fine eating this unorthodox combo, but she also started kicking ass, winning her very first ultra. Now, when Gallagher looks at the prices of sports nutrition products, she rolls her eyes: “Westerners are so self-righteous with our extravagant nutrition strategies that cost more than a month of student loan payments—for one race,” she says.

Plus, gels, bars, and powdered sports drinks are not exactly fine dining—especially in large quantities, when it feels like your taste buds are being assaulted by pure sugar. This is why more endurance athletes these days are eating real food while training and racing. “It gives me something to look forward to,” says ultrarunner Dylan Bowman of his favorite salted fudge brownies.

We caught up with six athletes to hear about their favorite unorthodox fuels, and then asked Cara Anselmo, a New York–based registered dietitian to weigh in on what, if any, benefits these foods might convey. (A necessary disclaimer: Not every workout requires this kind of fueling. If you’re going out for under two hours, we suggest you stick with water and maybe a gel.)

Clare Gallagher, Ultrarunner

Favorite Race Food: Frosting and Sour Patch Kids

The Backstory: “When packing my fuel for Leadville, I was completely disenchanted at the thought of buying 20-plus gels, and I am a sucker for frosting anyway. It occurred to me that I’d actually like the frosting better than gels,” Gallagher says. “Same with Sour Patch Kids. I could buy endurance-specific gummies, or I could buy 1.9 pounds of Sour Patch Kids and have plenty to share with my crew for the rest of the weekend. I hate to think my genius frosting idea was born out of me being cheap, but it really was just that.”

The Result: Gallagher’s Leadville win, which was the second-fastest female time ever, speaks for itself. Still, though, observers gawk. “People say my diet is appalling and unhealthy. To them, I say, ‘I think I’m doing just fine, thank you very much.’ I can’t eat gluten. I eat very little meat. I avoid dairy because I also have Hashimoto’s disease. If someone has evidence that eating frosting and Sour Patch Kids instead of some $300 baby-food vomit formula repurposed into Premium Fuel for Endurance Athletes is going to kill me, then I’m all ears.” Plus, Gallagher is now officially sponsored by Frost’d, a coconut oil–based frosting company founded by fellow ultrarunner Jessica Hamel.

Anselmo’s Take: Frosting has simple carbs for quick energy and no fiber to wreak havoc on the GI tract, and it’s easy to eat. No chewing required.

Dylan Bowman, Ultrarunner

Favorite Race Food: Salted fudge brownies

The Backstory: “In 2013, my girlfriend, Harmony, and I had to do about six months of long-distance dating. One weekend, we met in Malibu, where I was running a 50-mile race. We hadn’t seen each other in more than a month, so she surprised me at the airport with a fresh batch of my favorite brownies. Up to that point, the brownies were a special indulgence, but in the context of the race that weekend, it dawned on me that they’d be a good addition to my nutrition arsenal. I didn’t bring enough gels to get me through the whole race, so I had Harmony give me a Red Bull and brownie bag at an aid station about halfway through the race.”

The Result: “There were probably seven brownies in the bag, and I ate them all over the course of about 20 miles. I ended up winning the race, which seemed to validate this new and unfamiliar nutrition strategy. I’ve had her make them before important races ever since.”

Anselmo’s Take: “These have quick simple carbs, plus chocolate gives a bit of caffeine, which, in moderation, can enhance energy and athletic performance. They are also likely have some sodium and potassium for electrolyte repletion.”

Amelia Boone, Obstacle Course Racer

Favorite Prerace Snack: Cinnamon Roll Pop-Tarts

The Backstory: “I ate one before the Spartan Race World Championships in 2013 and won the race. So now it may be semi-superstition-related, but I actually find they sit really well in my stomach.”

Also on the Menu: “My diet sounds like the standard American diet for kids. During races, I’ll eat gummy bears, baby-food squeeze pouches, and peanut M&M’s. After races, I house pints of ice cream; it’s the only thing I can eat for about 12 hours. My stomach tends to be in knots an unable to take solid foods after really long races—I mean, go figure, given what I eat during.”

Anselmo’s Take: “Pop-Tarts are my prerace fuel, too. They’re perfect for quick simple carbs, and there’s no fiber to cause gas, bloating, or diarrhea. Also, they’re a total childhood comfort food, which might help calm nerves prerace. I’ve brought them with me when traveling for races because they travel well and never go bad, which is kind of gross but kind of great.”

Phil Gaimon, Retired Pro Cyclist

Favorite Midrace Fuel: Chocolate croissants

The Backstory: During long stage races in Europe, Gaimon and his teammates would often grab extra pastries from the hotel’s breakfast buffet and save them for later in the day. “There wasn’t a moment in the race when I wasn’t counting down to unwrapping those things,” he says. “I remember a moment where I went nuts for ten minutes to pull back the breakaway on a climb at the Tour of Provence. So I started to eat the pain au chocolat, but I was out of breath, and then the descent was insane, but I wasn’t going to spit it out and waste it, so I did a 20-minute technical downhill just holding it in my mouth.”

Also in His Pockets: Gaimon is a certified cookie monster, and his fans know it. Sometimes, before races, people would hand him wrapped cookies.

Anselmo’s Take: “A chocolate croissant has carbs as well as some fat, which you’d need during multiday events. Also, the sheer deliciousness factor makes it appealing. It’s not cloyingly sweet like some other treats, so it’s good for someone who likes less-sugary things.”

Sean Burch, Mountaineer

Favorite Expedition Food: Peanut butter

The Backstory: “I’ve always loved peanut butter, ever since I was a kid. I started letting myself eat a little more of it, and I thought I’d gain weight, but I didn’t. Pretty soon I was eating more and more. Now I eat a pound a day. On expeditions, I make sure we bring peanut butter because I don’t trust that I’ll be able to get it there. And I crave it. I look forward to eating it every single day.”

The Result: It has become an obsession for Burch. “If there’s a sale on all-natural peanut butter, I buy the store out of it—the cashiers at my local store know me,” he says. “I wish I had a sponsor for peanut butter. I spend a fortune on it. But I’m willing to spend the money because it’s an investment in myself and my health.”

Anselmo’s Take: “It’s a great, no-chew food that’s full of protein.” Plus, Burch says he only buys the all-natural variety, so it has no added sugars or hydrogenated oils.

Aaron Gwin, Red Bull Mountain Bike Racer

Favorite Between-Ride Snack: Pancakes

The Backstory: “I make a batch of pancakes at home in the morning, and then bag up two to six of them, depending on how much riding I’m doing that day. I make them pretty healthy, adding protein powder to the batter so I get all the nutrition I need. I keep experimenting and adding new things. They’ve gotten a little out of control the more that I keep adding ingredients—things like sweet potatoes, bananas, peanut butter powder, and oats—but I dig them. Pancakes give me a good base of carbs and protein for training days to keep me going without having to stop for long periods of time to eat, plus they’re easy to pack and digest, and I like the taste of them plain.”

Anselmo’s Take: “Pancakes have carbs galore, plus the little extra protein is probably good for muscle recovery after an intense and long workout.”

Original Article

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silvabrian188-blog · 8 years ago

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Bad habits of Cycling

Bad habit 1: Going too fast, too soon

Leading the pack from the off has an obvious draw, but if you want to cross the finish line in pole position you might need to rethink your strategy.

“If your heart rate is too high in the starting 30 minutes, your metabolic rate goes up and your body goes into sugar-burning mode,” says Andy Wadsworth, director of My Life Personal Training and an elite cycling trainer.

Related Articles : www.cyclershub.com/7-tips-to-making-good-coffee-while-bike-camping

“You need to train your body to use the longer-lasting fat reserves rather than sugars, which will literally burn out in half the time.” Start slow and you’ll set a precedent for the whole ride, he says. if you don’t want to blow up, only up the intensity after 30 minutes of riding at a conversational pace.

Don't try to go too fast too soon: Don't try to go too fast too soon: So for the first 30 minutes, work at a perceived exertion rate (RPE) of no more than five out of 10 and then move up to eight or nine out of 10 for six two- to four-minute intervals, with six-minute rest intervals between each, again working at five out of 10.

At the end of that batch, do another 30 minutes of steady-state training and repeat. “If you haven’t been able to recover adequately to tackle the next interval, increase your rest phase, or decrease the length of your high-intensity interval,” says Wadsworth.

Bad habit 2: Climbing in wrong gears

Whatever gradient you’re on, you need a consistent cadence of 90-100rpm. “Ninety to 100 rpm is simply the most efficient ratio,” says John Herety, team manager of Rapha Condor-JLT.

"Any lower and you’re in too high a gear, putting too much strain on your joints; any higher and you’re in too low a gear, wasting valuable energy spinning your legs around at speed.” And while that latest NASA-worthy electronics system that you’ve got on board might help you count, go back to basics, he says.

Your pedalling cadence should be around 100rpm. any lower and you're probably in too high a gear: Your pedalling cadence should be around 100rpm. any lower and you're probably in too high a gear: “You need to develop a feel for how fast your legs are going round, so practise counting for 15 or 30 seconds on every single ride until you know without looking what it feels like to be in the right zone. The best Formula 1 drivers listen to their engines and know how it’s responding, which is exactly what you should be doing.”

Related:Gear down to go faster

Bad habit 3: Too much time at the front/back of groups

Learn how to draft to conserve energy – but don’t become a wheel sucker and ‘forget’ to take your turn. “Cycling off the front of an eight-man pack can reduce oxygen consumption by almost 40 percent,” says Herety.

“But spend too long at the back and you’ll earn the nickname ‘wheel sucker’ and lose friends. Spend too long at the front, though, and you’ll be exhausted.”

The key, he says, is communication and trust. “You need to agree a specific time period – say 60 seconds – for each rider to lead, or if you’re tackling a particularly tough hill you need to be able to communicate that you need to drop back sooner.”

Do this by signalling clearly with a flick of your elbow that you’re pulling out, accelerate forward briefly, so you don’t clip wheels with anyone directly behind you, then go out and allow the next rider to accelerate smoothly past you, tucking in behind.

“For real efficiency, you need to stay as close to the person in front as possible, focusing on the brake callipers rather than the wheel so there’s just inches between you,” says Herety. Which means keeping it smooth.

“One of my pet hates is people suddenly standing up on hills, slowing down, which causes countless accidents. Nobody will ever think the worse of you for asking if it’s your turn to step up or back, but they will if you make any sudden movements and cause the mother of all pile-ups.

"It’s best to avoid hitting the brakes and slightly pull out to the side of the pack to use wind resistance to slow yourself down more gradually."

Bad habit 4: Never resting

Overtraining can cause persistent soreness, suppressed immunity, injuries, moodiness and loss of motivation. “Rest isn’t the absence of training, it’s an important component of it,” says Wadsworth.

“During recovery periods, your cardiovascular and muscular systems are restored and rebuilt to a higher level – that’s where all performance gains are made.” Every training programme should have a rest day in addition to two or three easy days (shorter, less intense rides following harder efforts) each week, he says.

Overtraining isn't good for you - learn to rest once in a while: Overtraining isn't good for you - learn to rest once in a while: “If you haven’t had a strenuous week, it’s all right to cross-train – swim, take a yoga class, or treat your dog to a long walk. But if you’re coming off a high-mileage week, reward yourself with a day of total rest. Schedule a massage or breakfast with a friend so you’ll feel like the time off was well spent.”

Related: Want to get faster? Take a week off

Bad habit 5: Cycling, cycling and more cycling

Clocking up the miles will do your cycling no end of good, but ignore your overall fitness and you could ultimately suffer. "Cycling isn't an all-round form of activity,” says Matt Rabin, nutritional advisor with Team Garmin-Sharp. “It uses predominantly the lower body muscles and in a very specific, limited way.”

The upshot is that your cycling muscles will become short and tight, and non-cycling muscles will become weak, creating imbalances – little wonder that in one Californian study of over 500 randomly selected recreational cyclists, over 85 percent reported overuse injuries.

Supplement your riding with conditioning specific work. “Focusing on core stability keeps the pelvic girdle and spine in the perfect position to stop the pelvis tipping forward and prevents backache and poor form,” says Rabin.

Strengthen your glutes with wall ball squats: Strengthen your glutes with wall ball squats: Try toe touchdowns – lie on your back with knees bent and hands under your back. Contract your abs and press your back against your hands, then slowly lift one foot a few inches off the floor, pause and lower.

Swap feet and continue until you lose the pressure against your hands. Avoid overly-tight hamstrings by doing 12 toe curls off the edge of a step, then turn around and do 12 heel drops.

And avoid knee maltracking and strengthen your glutes with wall ball squats: place a fitness ball between your back and a wall and slowly squat down until your thighs are parallel to the ground.

Bad habit 6: Pre-ride faffing

Nothing is more infuriating than having to wait while other riders endlessly adjust and check their kit – and if that laggard is you, as well as losing friends you’ll lose time in the saddle. “You have to know the moment you get on your bike it’s ready to ride, so always prep it for the next ride the moment you finish your last one,” says Wadsworth.

“Any niggles will be ultra-fresh in your mind, so you’ll know exactly what needs looking at. Clean it, oil it, check the wheels are in properly, and check you’ve got your pump, spare tubes and tyre levers, so it’s literally ready to ride the moment you pick it up.

Get your bike ready in advance of your ride: Get your bike ready in advance of your ride: "If you had a flat on your car you wouldn’t leave it on the road unfixed until the next time you needed to go somewhere – you’d sort it straight away, which is what you should do with your bike.”

And for those riders who suffer some form of obsessive compulsive disorder and can’t stop re-checking their kit, keep a simple checklist with your spare tubes and tick off each item – including sports drinks, energy bars and wet weather clothing – after each ride.

“Actually seeing it in black and white will mean your mind can move on to other things so you can actually get out there, riding, in half the time,” he says.

Related:Banish the pre-ride faff

Bad habit 7: Avoiding hills

Riding at full-throttle is exhilarating, but any rider knows that if they want to truly improve, they have to head for the hills. “Anyone who says they’re ‘not good’ at hills is wrong – they’re just avoiding them because they think they’re not good at them,” says Wadsworth. But he isn’t an advocate of finding the biggest hill you can and grimacing to the top.

“Incorporating smaller, relatively shallow four to eight percent gradient hills that last from 20 seconds to two minutes, keeping the power output up throughout, will have much bigger benefi ts – as you become used to increasing power for short bursts so your body and energy systems adapt.”

He reckons that if you add just two or three 30-minute hilly rides a week you’ll actually start enjoying them and start seeking them out rather than avoiding them. You’ll start focusing on power output – attacking each hill in progressively harder gears at the same cadence, rather than spinning your way up in easy gears – rather than speed, which is where improvement lies.

And just because you’ve conquered a climb, don’t take your foot off the gas. “Actually accelerating once you reach the top will set you apart from the competition when it comes to racing,” says Wadsworth.

“I see so many riders drop down the gears at the top and coast, when that’s the last thing you should be doing. Again, don’t just focus on huge climbs for this – it can be done every time you’re facing a small slope, even if you’re just commuting in town, and will make you psychologically much stronger.”

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