#i think he was 100% making a reasonable semi-healthy choice not looking for dean after s7

[ormakeasaintofme]

hm. started thinking abt s8 and that was fun until i remembered the show never actually gave us the scene i used to constantly write and rewrite in my head involving sam finally sitting dean down and being like dean i thought you were dead and the last time you died i spent months getting myself addicted to demon blood bc i get such insane blinders on when i’m worried about you that that seemed like a logical idea, and this time i didn’t even know where you were, fuck yes i tried to get out of the life, based on our track record and mine in particular the alternative was finding yet another apocalypse to accidentally start

so now i’m just annoyed at canon for never letting sam actually explain that

[krakenbait]

kraken bait 3: the moment of truth

the moment is finally upon us! no, not the actual expansion draft, that’s in 10 days. i mean my last (but best) installment of the kraken bait expansion draft theories! 

this has been a long, long work in progress, basically since i posted the last one. i’ve asked nearly every hockey fan i know, as well as randomly messaging several friends and cool people on hockeyblr, for their ideas and opinions on their favorite team’s expansion draft situation. and as with my previous lists, i had my friend and capfriendly consultant corwin (@chaos-hockey) collaborating with me to make this semi-reasonable (largely against their wishes). i’ll be including commentary from myself and my variety of sources with each pick. 

for reference, this is a somewhat plausible look at who seattle might take in the expansion draft. it’s not a prediction, because even i don’t honestly think the kraken will take some of these players, but it’s a fun simulation. it does follow expansion draft rules, and even comes under the cap (which took some last-minute finagling by me and corwin).

without further ado, let’s get into it! this list got long, so it’s all under the cut.

Anaheim Ducks: Haydn Fleury

this one comes straight from resident danton heinen fan, ergo ducks fan @dantonheinens, so thanks for your help casey! they sent me a very detailed explanation of anaheim’s expansion draft situation basically explaining that there’s a whole lot of “ands, ifs, or buts” with the ducks, but if fleury is exposed, he’s a slam dunk (slam duck? i’m sorry)

Arizona Coyotes: Christian Fischer

the one thing i know about this dude is he got wrecked in a fight with nathan mackinnon in the 2020 playoffs. this is the first of several picks on this list i borrowed from The Athletic’s mock expansion drafts, which happens if i don’t know the team and i don’t know anyone else who does. corwin and i also considered taking adin hill from the yotes, but we decided on some other goalies instead (stay tuned).

Boston Bruins: Jeremy Lauzon

i have a lot of friends who are bruins fans, so credits are owed to: corwin, casey again, alex (@patron-saint-of-boston-hockey) & luna (@kureally) & any other bruins fans in the nwhl discord, and my irl bruins friends. i got a lot of opinions on the bruins pick, including jake debrusk, jakub zboril, connor clifton, and trent frederic. but the one name almost everyone could agree on was lauzon. therefore, i’ve decided he’s headed to seattle. 

(it feels worth it to mention that at the prospect of having to take someone from the bruins, corwin said “curses be upon your name!” in an aggressively thick boston accent)

Buffalo Sabres: Rasmus Asplund

i could not tell you who this is, other than the fact that he’s one of buffalo’s three rasmuses (rasmi?). corwin and i had also talked about maybe putting anders bjork here, like i did in the last go-around, but i defaulted to The Athletic this time, and they thought asplund was a good pick, so here we are.

Calgary Flames: Mark Giordano

another pick borrowed from The Athletic, but i’ve seen predictions of giordano to the kraken a fair amount. it just seems right (and a whole lot better than corwin’s proposition of matthew tkachuk from last round).

Carolina Hurricanes: Brady Skjei

this one comes from the lovely @summerteukka, so thank you kinga! she gave me a very good rundown on the canes and the expansion draft, with the conclusion being the canes have so much defensive depth that it’s definitely going to be a defenseman, and especially if they resign dougie hamilton, skjei seems to be a likely choice. i’m all for it- we’ll have “an S and a K and a J all next to each other” on a kraken jersey.

Chicago: Adam Gaudette

similarly to the arizona pick, corwin and i considered a goalie here- in this case, it would have been malcolm subban. but he is not one of the goalies we ended up going for. instead, we opted on bringing micaela gaudette and her husband back to the pacific northwest. 

Colorado Avalanche: Ryan Graves

this is really a no-brainer. gravy is a good defenseman, but the avs have such a strong defense between cale makar, devon toews, and sam girard (and you could add erik johnson when he’s healthy), plus up-and-comers like bo byram. gravy will almost definitely be exposed, and i think he’s a great pick for seattle. plus it’s relatively painless for avs fans who also will like seattle (like yours truly).

(corwin also wanted me to mention that they want gravy traded to the bruins so he can play with curtis hall, who is basically “color-swapped ryan graves”)

Columbus Blue Jackets: Dean Kukan

another pick taken right from The Athletic. i do not know who this is, but he’s a defenseman and the writers liked this pick so i went with it. for the record, corwin really wanted this pick to be boone jenner because he has a funky name, but i wanted another defenseman, so the fun name was sacrificed for function.

Dallas Stars: Jason Dickinson

i don’t really have an explanation for this one. corwin and i were talking about the stars options and picking dickinson just felt right.

Detroit Red Wings: Vladislav Namestnikov

thanks are owed here to joce (@doubleminor) for her red wings expertise! she gave me a few players who were likely kraken bait and i picked from there. it came down to evgeny svechnikov and vladislav namestnikov, but i went with namestnikov in the end. he was with the avs for a brief period and i liked him then, plus the vibes just seem right, so here we are.

Edmonton Oilers: Tyson Barrie

really, tyson barrie was the player who started the whole kraken bait thing. corwin made the drawing, i made the first list, and the rest is history. do i actually think tyson will be going to the kraken in a week? not really. do i still really like the idea of it? 100%. therefore, i will continue to engage in my “tyson barrie to seattle” nonsense.

Florida Panthers: Chris Driedger

oh look, our first goalie! florida had some interesting skater options, but when it came down to it, corwin and i thought the cats were a good place to take a goalie from. driedger did pretty well this season, plus the panthers’ goalie situation is locked up between $10 million man bobrovsky and future star spencer knight.

Los Angeles Kings: Viktor Arvidsson

corwin was feeling pretty strong about this one, so i’m trusting their judgement. according to them, seattle expressed interest in arvidsson, so nashville traded him to the kings instead of giving him up for nothing. now the kings get to give him up for nothing, which works out pretty well, considering i had absolutely no clue who to pick from the kings. 

Minnesota Wild: Matt Dumba

like some other picks, this just seems right. i like matt dumba a lot. he seems like a fun and wholesome guy, and his activism, both on his own and with the hockey diversity alliance, is admirable. i hope he gets to display his personality and keep working to better the sport of hockey with the kraken.

Montreal Canadiens: Jake Allen

goalie number two! picking a player from the habs was weird because i got attached to them during the playoffs, but i really don’t know many of their players? so corwin and i deliberated on this a little, and after looking at our goalie situation, decided that allen was the right pick from montreal. 

Nashville Predators: Calle Jarnkrok

after doing art for and getting a featured article from the preds, corwin thinks they’re some kind of nashville expert. i originally had matt duchene here, but corwin said not him. their logic? they did art of duchene for their preds project, so they probably want to keep him around. fair point. so we went with calle jarnkrok. the logic behind that choice was simple: “calle jarn-kraken”

New Jersey Devils: Andreas Johnsson

i wish i kept a counter of how many times corwin told me “ron francis doesn’t care about your feelings!” when we were discussing the devils pick. they kept advocating for either nate bastian or mikey mcleod, but i would not stand for the superbuddies being separated. this is my kraken bait list, so my decisions. i asked a few of my devils friends for their input (props to sabs @jakejuentzel and h @bigmouthnatebastian), and in between the mild panic, andreas johnsson got tossed out. therefore, it’s mango getting shipped to seattle. does it further lower the average age of the devils? yeah, but it’ll be fine! the nhl could use some youthful chaos.

New York Islanders: Jordan Eberle

all of my kraken bait ideas for the isles came from the bardown breakdown podcast (a great listen if you like hockey and pop-punk/punk music!), since both hosts are isles fans. they had a few names tossed out, including josh bailey and casey cizikas, but corwin and i decided on eberle. like with a lot of these, right vibes.

New York Rangers: Kevin Rooney

i’ve seen two names pretty consistently for rangers kraken bait: colin blackwell and kevin rooney. is blackwell is better and therefore the more likely pick? yes. but kevin rooney is a former devil and also mocked tom wilson, so i voted he gets to go seattle.

Ottawa Senators: Chris Tierney

i don’t think i could name more than three, maybe four players on the sens, so i defaulted to The Athletic on this one. i have no idea who chris tierney is, but it works, so there we go.

Philadelphia Flyers: James Van Riemsdyk

@phillyjoel left some fantastic notes on the flyers kraken bait in the tags of my last list, giving me good evidence to tell corwin that for the last time, nolan patrick is not kraken bait. the argument i saw was that the flyers are probably going to trade patrick instead of giving him up for nothing and make cap space by giving away van riemsdyk or voracek. The Athletic liked the van riemsdyk pick, and corwin could live with it, so that’s where we settled.

Pittsburgh Penguins: Zach Aston-Reese

i honestly don’t have a whole lot of explanation for this one. another pick borrowed from The Athletic, corwin and i liked it, there we go. we considered going with kris letang, but the vibes weren’t right.

San Jose Sharks: Ryan Donato

shoutout to my sharks friend and amazing artist K (@18minutemajor) for their help! i originally had brent burns in this slot, on K’s suggestion (we had a fantastic exchange about brent burns befriending bigfoot). however, i ran into last-minute cap trouble and had to switch the pick. ryan donato came from The Athletic, but i think it’s kind of a fun pick. he’s been passed between a few teams recently, but most of what i know of ryan donato comes from the 2018 olympics (aka the first time i really watched hockey!), when he was apparently doing pretty well for team usa. 

St. Louis Blues: Vince Dunn

thank you @powerblais (and the blues fans group chat) for your input on this one! vince dunn was one of the names on the list erin sent me, and The Athletic also had him listed, so we went with it. 

Tampa Bay Lightning: Blake Coleman

thanks @heddy for responding to my out-of-the-blue message with some good input on the bolts! ana gave me some good suggestions like tyler johnson plus something else so they take on the contract, alex killorn, and ondrej palat. in the end, this devils fan defaulted to pickles. this pick is in the same category as tyson barrie- do i actually think coleman is going to the kraken? not really. do i still like the idea? absolutely.

Toronto Maple Leafs: Travis Dermott

borrowed from The Athletic and some other kraken bait predictions, because everyone has something to say about the leafs. corwin and i waffled between dermott and alexander kerfoot for this pick, but we eventually settled on dermott to seattle.

Vancouver Canucks: Madison Bowey

this pick changed so much in just one day. we originally had braden holtby here because original kraken bait, but then i ran into cap trouble. so i switched it to zack macewen, following a pick by The Athletic. but then i wanted one or two more defensemen, so i switched to madison bowey, who was the other pick from The Athletic. after all that, it seems like the right pick.

Washington Capitals: Vitek Vanecek

our third and final goalie! corwin and i had our eyes on vanecek as kraken bait for a while- a young goalie with promise and room to improve seemed like the right pick for seattle. we briefly considered tj oshie--he’s from washington state, and corwin wanted to upset caps fans (we were talking during the first round of the playoffs)--but ended up back with vanecek as our pick.

Winnipeg Jets: Mason Appleton

last pick of the list! not much to say here, though. it’s a pick borrowed from The Athletic, but we went with him over the other option from the jets because he has a fun name. to quote corwin, mason appleton sounds like “an apple pie in a mason jar on skates.”

and there you have it folks, the final kraken bait list! if you want to know the specifics, we’ve got 3 goalies, 16 forwards, and 11 defensemen, and the total cap hit is 76.4M. i’m pretty doubtful that this will be the actual expansion draft lineup, but we’ll have to see how many, if any, picks corwin and i got right. 

thanks again to everyone who helped me out, and i hope you enjoyed the chaos and commentary of the kraken bait lists!