#i think he experiences personal satisfaction and probably has prejudice to work out but | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daazurebanana · 5 years ago

Text

“It is so hard to be a normal person when one is not a normal person.”

Helping Mental Disorders

When I was a senior in high school, I went on a field trip with my English class to Salt Lake City to see a Sundance film. The movie, “Notes on Blindness”, was a true story about a man named John Hull who had a disease that took his sight when he was in his 30s. I remember being totally in awe of the way the film showed blindness, something I never expected to see or feel. Mental disorders are, in a unique way, a kind of blindness. Living with a mental illness is like living in a different world -- one that cannot be understood or lived in by the meager average human like me. Now, I don’t say that to offend, though offense is bound to be taken by someone on this planet, I will verbally stand my ground from where I sit on my couch. You, try as you might, can never truly empathize with me, and I likewise, cannot completely empathize with you no matter how similar we may be. Thus, really, we are all blind in a way. If this is true of two “normal” people, the divide is especially wide between a normal person and one with mental illness. Nevertheless, I don’t mean to imply by this that mental disorders should be eliminated or dismissed. I don’t think mental disorders should be erased. This is a research argument is it not? I merely wish to draw your attention to the goods and evils of mental disorders, whether someone else’s or your own; focusing on clinical depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and anxiety as they are found in my family.

Partial Personality Disorder

A long-time loyal social worker for a foster care facility, one probably wouldn’t immediately assume my step-aunt Sarah suffered from Borderline personality disorder (BPD). BPD, also known as an emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD). BPD is a mental disorder similar to bipolar in its propensity to mood swings as a result of abandonment and instability issues in their relationships, make being alone extremely difficult, causing extreme behaviors that tend to drive other people away. It includes symptoms like “self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships. The effect BPD has on one’s perception of self and others creates many difficulties in daily life” (Mayo Clinic).

Her development of BPD was in response to the divorce of her parents. Her father and older siblings, while she remained with her mother . As she approached the teenage years, she showed increased symptoms of abandonment issues as is common. She struggled with cutting, became very volatile, suicidal and promiscuous. The symptoms worsened as she got older until eventually, her mother admitted her to the hospital for treatment. As she became an adult, she was able to gain more control of her moods with the help of education in social work and the natural passage of time. Though Sarah does not mention her diagnosis in the memoir, as she describes the everyday niceties of life and the trials, there is a trace of something off-balanced about the way she describes people and memories which could easily be put down to the cancer she was struggling with, or simply exaggeration (Southey, Sarah).

Although Sarah is not a blood-relative, her disorder intrigues me. According to the Mayo clinic’s page about treating BPD, psychotherapy is the best option. With patience and willingness to make changes, patients could eventually learn to live in a self-reliant manner. Perhaps the most valuable lesson from my step-aunt’s memoir is that no matter when or how it happens, success is often possible. This doesn’t mean it is easy. In a rather hard-to-understand article I perused, the authors said that ‘it cannot be denied that people with mental disorders cannot recover completely and (the illness) will even hamper their productivity” (Agustina Barimbing, Maryati). Certainly, in my aunt’s case, for example, success was delayed by her disorder, but it was not stopped. Sure, not everyone can be an astronaut, but satisfaction with self and achievements is possible. This is possible for anyone by finding knowing personal limits and asking for help when needed. This is true of both people both with and without disabilities.

Bipolar

Memories are stretchy and blurry things, pliable to new information and experiences so I can’t give the exact order of the events of the year I turned six, but I do remember moving to Utah, my mom giving birth to twins, and my dad being admitted to the hospital. My aunt and uncle offered to watch my older sister and me, so we packed some clothes and drove for hours before arriving to be baked alive in the suffocating Las Vegas heat for two weeks (the equivalent of 2 months in kid-years). Being six, I couldn’t understand why I was with these people instead of my own family. Every night I’d sit on my bed with my 16-year-old cousin and sob fat tears as I made her show me how many days were left before I could go home.

What I couldn’t comprehend at the time was that my father was admitted to the hospital due to a mental breakdown. It was the beginning of a recession and he had just lost his job, been injured in a car accident, become the father of (now) 6 children, and signed a new mortgage. He was thrown into a situation that would have been too much pressure even for someone without his struggles with a mental disorder. That episode was the first of many I can remember--the latest being last week, when he had a severe anxiety attack and was admitted for a week and a half to a mental institution that confiscated every possible danger, right down to his shoelaces.

My father has severe anxiety and bipolar II, meaning instead of having extreme highs and extreme lows, he experiences what is called ‘hypomania’: an emotional spectrum that has less extreme manic episodes and spends more time in the depression, resembling clinical depression. For a very long time I personally--and I am sure I am not alone--have had the tendency to interpret his reaction to stress as weakness. Reflecting on my six-year-old mindset, the belief that when presented with a trial, it is one’s own responsibility to remain strong and to protect those one loves--not to weigh them down, was incorrect. One of the main roadblocks to helping those with and without mental disorders is a difficulty “with self-care and...informing others of their needs” (Arredondo, Emanuel), and being sensitive to the needs for special support without bias is important. Such prejudices is society can be poisonous because issues that arise can’t be solved because the sufferer does not feel they can openly share their feelings.

In society, vulnerability and sensitivity seem like signs of human weakness; something to be smothered, swallowed and overcome. But that is simply not true. It is true that mental disorders cause problems--to put it mildly. But here is a thought that a friend of mine put to me one day as I was moping around about something: “if it is inevitable, why not be happy about it?” That is not to say that anyone is wrong for being unhappy, but if it is inevitable, why beat ourselves up about it? Depending on the disorder, the reactions in our body that produce the disorder are different. One’s proclivity to having a disorder is not as simple as having one or not having one. In the article “Psychiatric genetics: back to the future," by Carson M. Owen and M. O’Donovan, it is explained that, although there are exceptions, disorders are a result of genes interacting with other genes or genes reacting to the environment. Gene-gene interaction implies that a person has the disorder no matter how the environment interacts with them, whereas gene-environment interaction refers to one developing a disorder as a result of a negative environment. But here’s the thing: both have the potential of disorder either way. Both often become apparent in teenage years to young adulthood when people are faced with a lot of stressful situations and decisions like college, moving away from home, dating, marriage, and starting a career. If stress is the catalyst, how can one a genetic predisposition to avoid a disorder? Although a perfect life is ideal, it is also impossible, as I have shown in the experience of my Aunt Sarah.

So much money and effort is spent on preventing and treating mental disorders, that the concept that mental disorders destroy is drilled into our craniums. But what do they inspire? There is a natural tendency to consider mental illness as something that is a burden. We have a tendency in our lives to see problems and try to fix all of them at once, but what we really need to do is take a breath and figure out what we can and cannot control, and from there press forward. Accepting our weaknesses is not the same thing as being satisfied with them.

Dr. Jamison is a well-renowned psychiatrist who specialized in academic medicine and manic-depressive illness (bipolar). In her autobiography: “An Unquiet Mind”, she shares her research related to bipolar as well as her experience as she undergoes the same intense mood swings as her patients. Kay Jamison helps the blind to see, in a way (or, to continue my earlier comparison, she helps the seeing to be blind.) "An Unquiet Mind" (more than anything else I have ever read) helps a person on the outside looking in to understand the chaotic nature of disorders--meaning chaotic in the sense of "uncontrollable", not necessarily "manic".

She relates having a disorder to the lifestyle of a blind teenager she used to counsel. Having met with him for many months, she felt she understood what it was like to be blind; however, one day she came to see him in class and was shocked to see that the room was totally dark, while he and the rest of the class were sitting quietly listening to a recording. This experience made her realize that she really did not know what is meant to be blind. We cannot fully understand what it is like to live with another's disorder, but Dr. Jamison says that we can love them and just be with them. The diversity of every single human ‘bean’s’ perspective adds spice to the whole of the culture. Our culture is profoundly influenced by the positives of mental illness. Bipolar disorder and depression are linked to creativity and productivity--many poets, writers, actors, singers, and other artists have made significant contributions to society. Take Dostoyevsky and Van Gogh (and my own father who has written 9 novels, a chemistry, and a computer textbook, makes cheese, is a blacksmith, a lapidarist...you get the picture).

As I have said, I don’t think the mental disorder is completely bad, but it does include some inherent and devastating problems. Some of the downsides of bipolar and depression include suicide, psychosis, abuse of others, loss of productivity and meaning, among others. In order to treat, or even better, prevent the negative effects of mental disorders, there are many resources available for both those who struggle with it personally and those who are affected, such as family and friends. Mental disorders make a person turn emotionally inward and become isolated although what they really need is a source to provide energy and emotional support, or in other words, provide energy and hope that life really is worth living. “To supply this demand”, it is “essential in these contexts to build social networks and the provision of social support”(Batistela Vicente, Jéssica).

Mental health issues are best handled by having some sort of structure in place. This structure can be found in multiple places: non-profit support groups for mental illness such as Conflict Prevention and Resolution--Brazil (CPR), National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), or Omotenashi--Family Experiences Learning Program (FELP), organized religion, or extended family and friends. More often than not, a combination of a few is the most successful in creating a constant safety net. Having these resources when “facing difficulties such as time investment; economic dependency, deprivation of the needs of other family members, lack of social activities and reduction of relations with the outside world,” give much-needed stability and prevent feelings of isolation.

Some form of organization especially helps children, as they are often too young to recognize their own need for support. Research has found time and time again that a church community --unpresuming but always available-- is the optimal choice, with mental and emotional disorders, having much lower rates among young adults who were raised in homogeneous religion-based home. Religion is what saved my father’s life despite numerous trials with his anxiety throughout the years. In the study done by CPR in Brazil, one mother of a child with a mental disorder said: “I would listen, would ask for support, I have always asked assistance from God”. Having a personal relationship with a higher being provides comfort when family and friends are unavailable. As with any child, having a “scaffolding on which to hang one’s life” offers direction in the long run, whereas a child who doesn’t go to church, for example, bases their morals off their parents but does not have the benefit of a social support system. In the case of non-religious people, participating in NAMI or school groups are ideal (Batistela Vicente, Jéssica).

It is important to note that in the case of serious mental disorders, often social support is insufficient and requires the aid of medication. Modern medicine, though often abused, as I am well aware of from my time spent training as a pharmacy technician, is necessary for those who struggle seriously with mental illness. The importance of medicine and the fact that there is no shame in it is also the knowledge that I think should be more widespread—with caution. I took medicine for ADHD when I was about 10, and the results were great, but I only used it for a while in order to establish good habits. This may be the case for minor diagnoses like mine, medicine was not necessary but was helpful for my schooling. Serious mental disorders like bipolar, severe anxiety, and clinical depression, however, may require more than a short term prescription for establishing habits. One point Dr. Jamison emphasizes is that if she was given the option to go back and live a life without manic-depressive illness, she would not; granted the medicine was still available.

I have come eventually to realize that just because something appears wrong doesn’t mean I have to fix it. Mental health can be treated and cared for, but in chronic and genetic situations, though it might be subdued many people don’t realize that it cannot be cured. And this is okay. As the quote says, the mental disorder will “hamper [the individual’s and their friends and family’s] productivity” (Agustina Barimbing, Maryati). I believe this is true not only but specifically when the individual’s relations try to fix them. This puts a strain on everyone and only leads to everyone involved blaming each other and themselves.

“Oh mother, how is it for you?”

(Hull, John)

At an emotional scene from the movie “Notes on Blindness,” John Hull’s wife reflected on her husband’s wrestle with his loss of sight and with it so many other things and mused: “Shall I scratch my eyes out, shall I follow you into this world?” Those with mental disorders are not the only ones affected by it. Family and friends struggle to help their loved ones but can easily become discouraged by the task of relieving the load. Caring for a loved one with mental illness is often a“lonely battle”(Kageyama, Masako). Families are required to learn to live with the disease, facing the difficulties and adapting to the new situation in order to maintain a difficult balance within the family. It can be very isolating and caregivers sometimes sacrifice their own physical and mental well being and that of other loved ones to help the person with a mental disorder. Aid from the same support programs offer comfort and understanding by “address(ing) members’ need for knowledge about mental illness, reduc(ing) their feelings of guilt and self‐blame, decreas(ing) caregivers’ burdens, help(ing) families cope, and improv(ing) parent-child relationships” (Kageyama, Masako). With a community that understands the family members as well as the individual with the mental disorder, feelings of isolation and pressure subside, relationships are healthier.

In the book by Jane Clayson Johnson, "Silent Souls Weeping: Depression, Sharing Stories Finding Hope", Johnson interviews the husband of a woman with clinical depression who shares how his view of and reactions to his wife’s episodes evolved over the years. At first, he did not feel like family, but someone that was obligated to serve hand and foot. He got caught in a vicious cycle of blaming her for not controlling herself and blaming himself for not being able to fix it. Eventually, he realized casting blaming only dug the pit of depression deeper.

So he did what is unarguably easier said than done, and decided to stop blaming people and start “blaming the illness”. Of the experience he said:"(life with) a person with a mental illness is not doomed to be miserable", it is the responsibility and blame that we stubbornly hold on to that make us miserable. Instead of holding on to virulent bitterness and letting the illness be a barrier, he decided to love his wife. The overarching theme of "An Unquiet Mind" and "Silent Souls Weeping" is the saving grace of simply loving those struggling with some disorder: not because it miraculously relieves them of the symptoms, but because it makes life “worth living”.

The simplest, and yet two of the most beneficial treatment are both education and acceptance. Mental disorders are not a project that can be “fixed”(Clayson Johnson, Johnson) by the experiencer or their loved ones, but one can offer love and can educate themselves. Though undoubtedly necessary for some individuals on a case by case scenario, it would do the most good for both sides to familiarize themselves with the other person’s situation. This creates a kinship of sorts, humanizes others. Just like when you meet the person who will be your best friend the first time you see them, we should not make assumptions but instead, make an effort to understand. The teaching that losing oneself to find oneself is absolutely correct. Love is a treatment in itself.

Works Cited

Agustina Barimbing, Maryati, et al .“Family Atmosphere Make Family Resilience Which Have Adolescent with Mental Disorder (According to “Resilience” Theory of Haase & Peterson)”. International Journal of Nursing Education. July 2019. 1.

Arredondo, Emanuel, et al. “The Global Impact of Intellectual Disability and Other Mental Disorders in Children”. International Journal of Childbirth Education. 2019, Vol. 34 Issue 2, p14-17.

Batistela Vicente, Jéssica, et al. “Mental disorder in childhood: family structure and their social relations”. Escola Anna Nery Revista de Enfermagem. vol. 19, 2015, pp 107-114.

Burland, Joyce. “NAMI: Family to Family Education Program”. NAMI. 2001.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20370237

Johnson, Jane Clayson. "Silent Souls Weeping: Depression, Sharing Stories Finding Hope". Desert Book. 2018.

Kugelmass, Heather. “Mental disorder among nonreligious adolescents”. Mental Health, Religion & Culture (MENT HEALTH RELIGION CULT). 2015, vol. 18, issue 5.

Kageyama, Masako, et al. “Changes in Families' Caregiving Experiences through Involvement as Participants then Facilitators in a Family Peer-Education Program for Mental Disorders in Japan”. Family Process. 2017, vol. 56 Issue 2, p408.

Lucille Southey, Sarah. “Sarah Lucille Southey: A Memoir”. Dollison Road Books. 2016.

Middleton, Peter, et al. “Notes on Blindness”. 2016

Owen, M., Cardno, A. & O'Donovan, M. "Psychiatric genetics: back to the future". Mol Psychiatry, vol 5, 2000, pp 22–31.

#all you need is love meds therapy and yeah

1 note · View note

lightsandlostbells · 6 years ago

Text

Skam season 3, episode 7 reaction

AKA The One Where The Boy Squad Saved the Day

Episode 7 of season 3 is simpler compared to other episodes, artistically speaking - for most of it, there’s no slow motion, no big music moments, or any other Skam hallmarks. That is, until Even’s dramatic ass shows up at the very end. Which is quite fitting, in a way.

SEASON 3, EPISODE 7 - “Are you gay?”

Clip 1 - Eskild becomes Isak’s guru

Eskild tries to help Noora get over William by showing her the wonders of Tinder. I don’t know if his distaste for William in S4 was something Julie invented that season, as maybe a nod to the part of the audience who did not care for William or Noorhelm, but in-universe I would buy Eskild developing that grudge against Willy around this time. I don’t think he quite knew how much of her S2 angst was William-related, considering she wasn’t an open book and she was dealing with assault-related trauma as well. Here he knows she’s hurting for reasons directly to do with William.

Noora liked the guy on Tinder with the guitar, awww. William apparently had a guitar, as we saw during the More Than Words scene, but he was never shown playing it or talking about music.

“I just think you’re the kind of person who always has to do the right thing. You always have to be so good.” Hmmm, this says a lot about what Eskild thinks of Noora and her role in Kollektivet. Although I think in this case it mostly has to do with what Eskild says a moment later, about how everyone knows William isn’t going to come back. He really doesn’t think William will return for her and believes Noora is limiting herself by waiting for him. Just because Noora will wait for William doesn’t mean William will wait for her (which ... may have been true, it’s never clear in S4).

While watching this clip in real time, I wondered if, with all these moments reminding us that William is gone, Thomas wouldn’t come back for like a cameo in this season finale. Regardless of my personal feelings on the ship, Julie spent a full season on Noorhelm, and since there were Evak/Noorhelm parallels this season, if Evak ended up together, then Noorhelm would get some closure, right? It was actually a little surprising that she would tank her OTP like that without a hint of his return.

Noora is making tea in a Star Wars mug. Is that her mug, or someone else’s? Who’s the Star Wars fan in the flat? Tbh ever since Eskild made that Warhammer reference in the first episode, I kind of like the idea of him having sci-fi/fantasy nerd tendencies. Imagine if Kollektivet had a tabletop game night, omg.

Isak has a little smile for just a fraction of a second at Eskild’s dramatics over the Noorhelm saga.

Eskild is really tired of Isak apologizing for the gay pride incident. I think once he got some distance from the situation, he remembered that Isak is young and just coming out, and not perfectly educated on all issues regarding to the LGBT community. Eskild himself likely made some similar mistakes when he was younger and newly out of the closet. Life is a learning process, there’s no point where any of us reach Mount Woke and forevermore say the right thing and hold all the right opinions about issues of social justice.

Also, at a certain point you just want people to stop saying sorry for their mistakes, because you’ve stopped caring about what they did and just want to move on. And sometimes it becomes more about the person saying sorry than the person they hurt, though I don’t think that’s the case here with Isak. But I do think Isak just does not want Eskild mad at him. He realizes he messed up and hurt someone close to him, someone that he frankly needs during this sensitive time in his life, and who already has done so much for him.

It’s hilarious how Eskild’s annoyed mood does a 180 once Isak says he needs some advice. Those are the magic words. Eskild is a dude who really, really wants to nurture others and take them under his wing. He wants to help. And he likes the idea of being Isak’s mentor. Of course there’s the satisfaction of having his opinion listened to and valued, but he also gets to help out a gay kid who’s not as sure of himself as Eskild. Really makes you wonder whether Eskild had his own guru or whether he had to go it alone - if this is a “pay it forward” situation, or if he’s telling Isak the things he wishes someone would have told him.

It’s kind of hard to think about long-term future headcanons for Skam since it existed so firmly in its present, but I love the idea that Eskild would become a counselor for troubled youth or LGBT teens or something like that.

This is also just delicious payback, because asking for help shows Isak does look up to Eskild and respects his opinion, which is what Eskild wants. It’s really fun as Carl Martin stretches out Isak’s request, playing with him. Messing with Isak is probably more satisfying than another apology. Meanwhile Isak rolls his eyes in peak bratty teenage mode. (Tarjei gives some first-rate bratty teenage face in this scene.)

Here’s the immortal guru line, ha! Didn’t Carl Martin improvise this part?

It’s really nice that Isak felt he could go to Eskild with this concern, though. Coming out to Jonas made him relax a little bit, but Jonas can’t quite understand the specific scenario of being a gay guy (or pan guy in Even’s case) and having relationship drama. There are some factors in Isak and Even’s situation that could be influenced by them being two guys instead of a straight couple, so now Isak wants the input of another gay guy. Still, Isak is mostly looking at the ground while he openly admits his concerns about this thing with Even. He’s very vulnerable, getting it all out there. And honestly, he’s indicating to Eskild that this isn’t just a casual thing with Even - he’s invested in it, otherwise would he be so confused and upset about Even going back to his girlfriend? They weren’t just hooking up, Isak thought they were going to be together.

You can see the mention of “girlfriend” being the thing that sticks out to Eskild, and Isak noticing that and starting to get worried.

I really like this exchange where Eskild asks Isak how honest he wants him to be, and Isak says, “Maybe not too honest,” at first, then changes his mind and asks for the whole truth. That’s such a good little moment because you can see that Eskild wants to protect Isak’s feelings but also doesn’t want to give him false hope or lie to him. He’s really looking out for Isak’s best interests. And Isak doesn’t want to hear the harsh truth at first, which is real and vulnerable, but then he figures he better hear it anyway, which is a mark of maturity.

Look at the bucket of cold water splashed over Isak when Eskild tells him not many guys leave their girlfriends for a guy. This is like the episode opener from episode 4 all over again, except opposed to what Eskild said to Noora - “There are people who leave their wives and families to be with the ones they love.” It’s interesting because he’s talking from a more personal perspective here, as a gay man, rather than Noora’s issue with her het relationship, and his take is more cynical.

Though even with Noora, Eskild was trying to soften the blow - it was clear he thought William was out of the picture for good, going off how he kept mentioning how Noorhelm had broken up despite Noora’s protests. Similarly, Eskild doesn’t want to let Isak down too much, he wants to qualify that he’s not God or Buddha, this is just his opinion … but he also can’t bring himself to openly lie (in his opinion) to Isak and tell him it’s going to work out fine.

Nothing like Eskild asking if his advice was helpful when Isak’s hope is draining fast, and the clip just ending there.

So I remember there was criticism of Eskild’s advice/POV here, and while I understand why because his advice is flawed and he ends up being wrong about Even, obviously, I think it’s important to keep in mind Eskild is coming from a very specific, very personal perspective, where he’s meeting guys on Grindr who are ostensibly hanging on to a straight identity while having gay sex. As that one dude in episode 2 wrote to him, he’s not gay but he likes to suck dick, etc. - and I doubt that random Grindr guy meant he was actually bi or pan rather than gay; in context he was likely disavowing any non-heterosexual identity. Eskild is talking about a specific type of guy who will have sex with men for pleasure, but would not commit to more long-term relationships with men - relationships that are perceived more negatively in society, relationships that will direct prejudice and scorn toward those involved, relationships that unfortunately can lead to terrible consequences due to homophobia, such as violence, discrimination, family disapproval, etc. He’s not getting a correct read on Isak’s situation - the guru is fallible. But his take on it is from personal experience. (Plus Isak is telling him how Even keeps running hot and cold, showing Isak affection then ignoring him, which is not going to give Eskild the best impression of the situation.)

Clip 2 - Nei, Vilde

My heart gets so warm whenever Isak and Sana are in the same frame.

“I read it last weeeeek.” Why is that one line delivery so funny and memorable? Tarjei is a human meme.

Isak is right, the correct answer is D. Sana is convinced it’s A. One of Sana’s greatest strengths is her conviction in her beliefs, but it’s also one of her biggest flaws. As we can see, sometimes she is strongly convinced she’s right when she’s not, and she can have trouble admitting that she’s wrong. (Another moment: that scene from S1 where Sana and Noora are talking about an assignment, Noora says Sana did a problem wrong, and Sana says that the answer key is wrong.) This part of the scene with Isak and Sana fighting over the answer is here to parallel the earlier scene with Sana talking about homosexuality not being supported by evolution and to foreshadow the coming scene where she does admit to Isak she was wrong about it. We can see that Sana, while a smart person, doesn’t have all the answers. She is just a teenager, after all. And we can see that she’s stubborn in her mindset, so for her to say she was wrong about something is a big deal for her.

Also, in Isak’s season he’s the one who’s got the right answer and it’s Sana who’s wrong, and I believe in Sana’s season she’s the one outperforming him, which is funny and fitting for their characters. They both think they’re the brains of the operation.

“Your own organs don’t release waste.” Sana ... do you not know what poop is....

I mean excretion takes other forms,too, but I am given to understand that poop is a globally recognized phenomenon.

Sana pinching her nose in exasperation is pretty funny, though. She must have perfected that gesture during her conversations with Vilde, but as it turns out, it has many applications!

“Just trust me, Sana, I know this.” “I trust myself and it’s A.” Character-defining statement for Sana right there.

I’d forgotten that Isak says, “This is my subject. I know what I’m doing.” Just to support all those fanfics where Isak is a scientist or doctor. Sometimes facts can be super common in fic, but not necessarily supported in canon, but this bit gives credence to scientist Isak outside of him just generally being smart and getting good grades in biology.

AND NOW, as of this week, we have Julie Andem herself saying that Isak is studying biophysics at university, for people who would like to run with her headcanons.

Isak is like, “Let’s just Google it, I’m sick of you being stubborn,” and Sana’s like, “Well, if you’re so uncertain that you have to check Google,” and I’m like, oh my god what a ridiculous duo, I can’t stop giggling at them sniping at each other. The crankiest friends, I love them.

Everyone’s least favorite teacher returns, still without a bra but this time without a racist comment. Uh, character development? (Wasn’t she some teacher at Nissen? Imagine walking into your classroom and all your students were watching extended shots of your nipples when the clip dropped earlier. Unless she usually free-boobs it, then it’s just another Tuesday.)

Isak and Sana can’t come to an agreement, so they agree to disagree by each choosing an answer and marking it. Almost like … they can agree to disagree on other topics … hmmmm...

You can see Sana frown in confusion as she reads the text, and my heart cracks a little with Isak’s response. He looks over with a smirk, teasing her about not knowing her name and it’s very cute, but his smile drops when he sees her expression. And then when he reads the text, Tarjei does such excellent and subtle acting. It’s not like Isak has a meltdown at the table or anything, but you can see him getting punched in the gut, the shock sinking in. He quietly puts the phone in his pocket, a little tremor in his voice.

Vilde, Vilde, Vilde. I actually love Vilde a lot, messy comments and opinions and all, but this is What Not to Do when you think someone you know might be gay. First of all, you shouldn’t be putting someone randomly on the spot like that, launching into such a personal question without even easing into the subject (“I hope you don’t find this question rude” - too bad, because it is rude). I mean, imagine if someone was randomly like, “Vilde, I hope you don’t think this is rude, but is your mom an alcoholic?” WTF. Second, Vilde doesn’t know Isak that well, certainly not well enough to be asking him that question. I don’t think that question would be appropriate from a close friend, either, but definitely not from their level of acquaintances. Third, if you think your friend might be gay, you should wait for them to bring it up to you, because it’s a very personal matter. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re likely to be feeling vulnerable; they might not be sure of themselves and still questioning their sexuality, they just might not be ready. Plus coming out is something each individual should have control over. With these rumors, Isak has this life-changing moment taken out of his hands.

Sana responds to the text well, though, not acknowledging it, changing the subject by asking about the next bio question, and taking care of their assignment for Isak. You know when she saw Vilde next she chewed her out.

This is probably when things really started to make sense to her about why Isak was so hung up about religion not being accepting of homosexuality, and why he confronted her about it. She realizes that no matter her point, maybe her words had some unintended meanings that weren’t the best for Isak to hear.

There’s fear in Isak’s eyes when Sana gets up. He looks at her like he thinks she might hate him now because she knows he’s gay :(

Isak is not ready to be labeled gay, really, so you can imagine how alarming this is. Not just that he had a relationship with a boy, but that he IS something. He’s something that he’s not yet ready to accept about himself, but suddenly everyone in school knows it about him?

To make matters worse, when Isak asks Vilde where she heard it, she mentions that she heard Isak and Even had a thing. So it’s not just that Isak is gay, it’s that Isak had a relationship with Even, like ... exactly how much do they know about his life?

What do you think Even thought about being outed? We don’t know whether he was out or not, whether he was OK with it. He wasn’t wearing a pan pride button until S4. Maybe he was fine with people knowing about his sexuality, but it still wasn’t Emma’s call to make, it was his.

Of course here we learn Emma spilled the beans after hearing it from Sonja. You can imagine how this went: Even told Sonja about him and Isak. I don’t have a problem with him doing that. She was his girlfriend of four years, she deserved to know the truth about why Even was ending their relationship. And she also had graduated and didn’t go to Nissen so she wasn’t exactly enmeshed in the Nissen social sphere, there seemingly wasn’t much risk in telling her. Then Sonja contacted Emma, the sweet first-year girl who she got along with so well, to warn her off Isak. I don’t think it was wrong of her to do this in theory? I guess Sonja could have said, “Hey, Isak is not worth your time,” without going into more details about Isak and Even’s relationship, but who knows how effective that would have been. I get it, she doesn’t want Emma to waste her time and get her heart broken. Ultimately it was Emma’s choice whether to keep Isak’s sexuality to herself or not. And we don’t know exactly how Emma outed Isak, since the details Vilde gives are on the vague side. It could have been Emma venting to a friend but not intending to spread it around school, except someone else happened to overhear. It could have been the friend passing it on to a friend, who passed it on to another friend, and it kept going way more than Emma wanted or predicted. Or, I mean, it could have been Emma really angry at Isak and not bothering to keep it a secret, not understanding the severity of what it’s like to be outed (because it’s 2016, Isak, get out of the closet, geeeeeez).

But whether it was through carelessness or malice, outing Isak was clearly wrong of Emma. And frankly worse than what he did to her - he hurt Emma by leading her on, but outing Isak could have had really bad consequences. Isak is lucky that his friends are good people who accepted him instead of rejecting him. Even if he wasn’t gay-bashed or something extreme like that, he could have had to deal with homophobic assholes at school. We don’t see Isak dealing with homophobes until S4, but it’s not unreasonable to think there would be some shitheads who might use homophobic slurs or make fun of him, laugh at him, etc.

Actually, although he doesn’t really deal with bullying in this season, we do see that he has to deal with people like Vilde and the dance girls, well-intentioned individuals who still make him uncomfortable with inappropriate or generalizing remarks. All of that is a hell of a lot to deal with as a gay teenager. It should have been Isak’s choice when he was ready to deal with all of that by coming out to the school. No matter her intentions, Emma took that away from him.

This is my one substantial critique of the season and the only thing I would change. I think we definitely see that Emma’s actions had negative effects for Isak, but it would have been nice to get more open acknowledgment that outing someone else without their consent is wrong. Either by someone explicitly saying that Emma did something wrong, or by Emma apologizing to Isak for what she did. Or both. Her reaction in her final scene with him does seem like she’s apprehensive about speaking to him, so maybe she realizes she messed up, but it would have been good to get this message vocalized for the audience. Don’t out people against their will.

Vilde says, “Sorry if it’s not true.” But not sorry if it is true, because Vilde doesn’t realize that it’s not the veracity of the rumor, it’s the violation of privacy.

Vilde thinks she’s being an ally, too, except of course her comments are just going to make Isak feel worse. This is what he fears - being judged because he’s gay, coming out = people seeing him as a concept instead of as an individual. Vilde is playing into the same thoughtlessness as Emma in episode 3: she’s making generalizations, and positive generalizations are still a problem. “I love gays!” is dehumanizing. Not all gay people are the same. Some are nice. Some are mean. Some are fun. Some are boring. You know. Like the rest of humanity. She’s showing that she’s slotting Isak into this neat little box, which is what she wants to avoid.

If you’ve read Ulrikke’s Skam fanfic for charity, there’s a bit where Vilde kisses Isak on the cheek because she’s trying to make him her gay best friend. But of course Isak is anything but the “gay best friend” stereotype.

It is kind of ridiculous to imagine Vilde looking at Isak and going, ah yes, there’s a guy who would make a perfect gay best friend. Like Vilde is expecting a shopping partner or someone to give her grooming tips and romance advice, and instead Isak’s preferred BFF activities would consist of lying around, playing FIFA, and smoking weed.

Clip 3 - Coming out to the boys

Jonas asks the important questions, like how does IKEA name their furniture? (And IKEA had an answer for Jonas.) (They told him to have fun at the pre-drink on Friday, lmao. IKEA was just as deep in Skam hell as the rest of us.)

The random girl saying hello to Isak is one of those innocuous-seeming things that really illustrates the negative effects of being outed. Isak is exposed. He’s suddenly a public figure. Even in a “positive” way that’s a lot to deal with; not to be a broken record but he should have been his choice when to come out so he could prepare himself for this attention.

Lmao, Magnus and Mahdi have their own little musical duo. Also, David’s rapping and dancing in this scene is the funniest shit. His comedic timing was great in this clip.

You can notice a few subtle differences in how Magnus and Mahdi greet Jonas versus how they greet Isak, because there’s still awkwardness over what happened at Emma’s party. Mahdi doesn’t look at Isak at first.

I don’t usually comment on this type of stuff but this is one of Isak’s fluffiest looks. Whenever he leaves off the snapback? Fluff factor increases 200%. Helps that he spends part of this scene looking skittish as a baby deer.

Jonas is the one to mention Isak’s pre-party, signaling that he is cool with Isak and softening the awkwardness of Isak having to do it. Jonas is such an excellent bro.

Magnus readily agrees to the party; I think he’s just such an easy-going dude and not someone who likes conflict. Jonas semi-subtly asks if they’re all in, and there’s a little moment where Isak and Mahdi exchange a look. Isak says that he won’t get violent this time, which is his way of saying he’s sorry, and Mahdi is cool with it and gives a giant lovely smile. So just like that, peace is restored in the boy squad.

I remember this was the clip where I fully turned around on the boy squad and went from, hmmm, don’t know how I feel about these teenage boys? to I love them FOREVER. Just in time for the magnificent Fredag clip.

Of course, then Magnus just has to bring up that totally wacky rumor about Isak being gay. Lol so funny that everyone thinks that!! Because it’s obviously not true!! The relief Isak must feel at making up with his friends must grind to a halt. Because it’s one thing that they’re forgiven him for the fight, but are they going to be OK with him once they learn he’s gay? He came out to Jonas and it went well, but what about these guys? Coming out is going to have to be a continuous process for him, isn’t it? And maybe it will get easier but can it ever get easy?

I’m not sure Isak planned to come out to Magnus and Mahdi when he sat down. There’s a text conversation between Isak and Jonas about telling the boys since the rumors went around, but I don’t know if Isak entered the room with the intention of coming out right then and there, or if he was just planning on making amends and then coming out to them in a different scenario, like maybe he wanted to tell them at the pre-drink (hey, it could be easier after a few drinks), but Magnus bringing up the rumors sort of pushed the issue. At least when he came out to Jonas, he got to plan the time and place and had some control over the situation.

Jonas is there, though, and he realizes that this conversation could head into uncomfortable territory for Isak. The upside is that Isak does have Jonas there for emotional support, he has at least one friend he knows has his back about being gay, he’s not doing this alone. I live for Jonas glancing at Isak during this conversation to check on how he’s doing. Which is not great - Isak is REALLY uncomfortable listening to Magnus and Mahdi talk about the rumors.

I really like how they handle this part of the conversation, though, regarding the rumors about Mahdi fighting Isak for being gay. It puts Isak and Mahdi, who haven’t always gotten along this season, on similar ground. Mahdi is also a victim of a stereotyping and generalizing, both “neutral” and negative - that he’s Muslim when he’s not, that he’s homophobic when he’s not. Assumptions that are certainly made because of his race. I can’t speak for Norwegians specifically, but it’s a widespread stereotype that POC are less tolerant of LGBT people and more likely to be homophobic. It’s a good thing for Julie to casually include a rejection of that stereotype. Also that Mahdi is really bothered and not amused by other people thinking he’s a homophobe. Magnus thinks this whole thing is so ridiculous it’s funny, while the others really don’t find it funny at all; it’s shitty for Isak and Mahdi personally, and Jonas knows that Isak is struggling.

I do love Magnus overall but I want to duct tape his mouth shut for a large part of this conversation.

Okay, he drives me up the wall here but admittedly I do get a laugh out of that satisfied huff he gives at the end of the talk, like “Good chat, glad we got that cleared up.” Having no idea the seriousness of this conversation.

Poor Isak. His discomfort throughout this clip is very well-acted, good job, Tarjei. He can’t even look his friends in the eye at the beginning.

And that eye contact Jonas shares with him before Isak starts to tell them the truth!!!! Best bro!!!! He also keeps looking to Jonas for support during the talk, before he tells the boys about Even.

The way Isak comes out here is roundabout, just like before. Like he did with Jonas, he builds up to it - he’s not just like, “Well, there’s some truth to the rumors,” or anything so direct. He starts by winding into the story about the dance chicks, taking some time to get to the point. He needs to work up to saying the words.

An interesting part is when Isak asks if they remember the guy who came up to them and Magnus is like, “The gay guy?” and Isak wants to know why he thinks he was gay. Because Isak is of course thinking about Even, not the random dance instructor. But there’s some stuff to unpack with how Isak gets maybe a little tense or alert about Magnus thinking Even is gay. There are a couple ways you could read his reaction: that Isak is still dealing with what it means to be gay and to be seen as gay, the social perception of it, and can’t turn off the part of his brain that’s full of anxiety about seeming gay, and wants to know what it is Magnus picked up about Even - could it apply to Isak, too? Or that Isak is still thinking about Eskild’s guru advice and Even’s general hot and cold-ness and wondering if Even really is gay (or bi, or pan, or into dudes) and wanting another take on it? Or you know, just confusion over how Magnus could know that much with such a brief interaction.

To be fair, all of these interpretations assume Isak believes Magnus is capable of a deeper level of perception that he perhaps is, lmao. Or, on the other hand, if someone like Magnus could pick up that Even was perhaps gay after seeing him for like 10 seconds, then what does that say about how people see Isak?

It’s honestly pretty funny that Isak is like “Don’t you remember the guy who was such a tall swoopy-haired drink of water? Didn’t him returning Jonas’ hat burn into your minds for all eternity until you pass from this world and it’ll be the last thing you see on your deathbed?” Isak, those guys were in a dance girls coma, a random dude returning a hat was mostly a non-event to them. (Yes, Jonas remembered that moment and figured out he must be Isak’s crush, but Jonas is the The Best Friend and paying close attention to all Isak-related anomalies.)

Once more, Isak comes out to people not by saying he’s gay, but by describing his actions (“We’ve had a thing”). Quickly reinforced by Magnus asking whether he’s gay and Isak reflexively rejecting the label. It goes from Isak saying, This is what I did and Magnus saying, So this is who you are? and Isak saying, No, that’s not who I am. Well, maybe a little bit.

I mean, he does say he’s a little bit gay, but I feel like that’s a concession that yeah, hooking up with a dude is not a straight thing to do, he probably feels like it would be stupid to pretend otherwise. But him fumbling with the gay label here shows how concerned he still is about the perception of others about his sexuality. He still has hangups about what it means to be gay and wants to distance himself from societal stereotypes, and he quickly backs into a defense of himself. Isak might be a little gay but he’s not SO gay he’s into every guy he meets. Which should be obvious - he’s not into every guy out there just as these straight boys are not attracted to every single girl on the planet. But Isak is very insecure. Like at its core, this part is sad to me, because he wants to make sure these other guys are not uncomfortable with him and they don’t see him as a threat. It’s completely understandable why he has these insecurities, because of homophobic ideas about predatory gay men, but it’s still depressing that he feels he needs to defend himself when the words about him having a relationship with a guy are barely out of his mouth.

However, here is another really good moment! Magnus is confused because Isak (in his eyes) hooks up with girls all the time, and Isak doesn’t really know how to say he was lying or faking, or he doesn’t want to say he is not into girls at all yet (because if he’s like, “I’m not into girls,” Magnus is going to be like, “Sooo… you are gay?”) BUT before Isak has to handle this deeply awkward moment, blessed Mahdi is like, “Well, he could be pansexual?” THANK GOD. We as the audience know that Isak is not pan (or bi) but it’s completely reasonable as an outside suggestion that Isak might be. So often this is framed as one or the other, Isak could only be gay or straight. A lot of canons won’t even bring up bisexuality, and it’s really rare to hear pansexuality mentioned at all. Bravo, Skam. 🙌

So this tense moment where Isak is suddenly put on the spot and potentially asked to explain his sexual history is diverted by his friends casually discussing and debating pansexuality and bisexuality. Is this the most #woke way they could have talked about it? Well, no, but it’s a realistic discussion and certainly a good thing for the teenage audience to hear. These characters are not experts on every social issue out there, but they’re open to being educated and sharing knowledge with each other.

Like I kind of laugh at Isak pursing his lips, suddenly excluded from his own coming out while his friends debate labels. In a way it is weird that they’re suddenly talking about whether Isak could be bi or pan right in front of him, but not with him, just among themselves. It’s meant in a good-natured way though, they’re trying to understand him. And Isak must find this deeply surreal but preferable to being grilled personally on how he identifies. Of course they could have just asked him whether he was bi or pan but I don’t think Isak was ready to answer that question.

King Jonas is like “However, he identifies, he’s having a pre-party on Friday,” because hey, that’s the most important thing here, where and when they can get drunk. (For real, bless Jonas for changing the subject before it got too strange.)

Magnus using the f-slur is jarring and not excusable and I mean, I hope Jonas later on was like, “Don’t say that word, dumbass,” and Magnus went home and Googled words not to use when your bro might be pansexual and educated himself. I’m not excusing him, but I don’t think we don’t hear anything like that from him later so hopefully he wised the fuck up.

But again, duct tape.

At least Isak does not seem rattled by it and uses the opportunity to roast Magnus. Because it’s just so easy.

Not gonna lie, the clip ending so abruptly after Magnus is like, “Huh?” makes me laugh.

Clip 4 - Love letter, kinda

Is this the shortest individual clip in all of Skam? It’s less than a minute long. I can’t remember any others that are shorter.

I love that Isak stops and takes a moment to size up his locker, bracing himself for his daily battle. And that it just … doesn’t happen. He’s downright stunned when the locker doesn’t fight him and gives way easily. Isn’t it wonderful when a problem that’s been bothering you is finally gone?

Regarding Isak’s locker of character development, the meaning is very clear. Isak came out to his friends and it’s not the end of the world. They accept him. So his locker (closet) can open without a struggle. He’s not stuck in the closet or struggling to keep his secrets from spilling out. It’s fine. It’s such a simple metaphor but it’s lovely.

And on top of that, he has another message from Even!

Even drew that damn phone twice, you can see subtle differences in each version (besides the obvious text messages).

Again, I love Even’s sketches so much. He’s has such a clever, creative, romantic mind. The “this universe” side of the sketch is acknowledgment that he received Isak’s message, but didn’t reply. The “same time in a completely different universe” sketch is what he feels he SHOULD have done, what he wanted to do but couldn’t get the courage to do, or felt he couldn’t. It’s so poignant! There’s so much longing! I swoon.

This sketch is an apology, too, because he knows Isak must have been hurt by Even leaving him hanging yet again, especially right after Even must have given him some hope with the cheese toastie sketch. This is Even acknowledging that he should have replied and in a better world, he would have.

It makes you think so much about what was holding Even back. I don’t think it was just Sonja (tbh I wonder if Sonja was really in the picture, to be discussed later), I think it was just simply his hesitance over Isak’s comment about mentally ill people. He gave Isak the cheese toastie sketch because he saw Isak was sad and wanted to let him know Even still cared, that his feelings were still there. But then, you know, Isak found the sketch and sent Even a text, and interacting with Isak again just made Even have another round of doubts. He felt like he shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t be continuing this thing with Isak or encouraging it. But at the same time, Even does not want Isak to be in pain. And despite his reservations, despite everything standing in his way, Even wants Isak.

The “miss you” is such a punch in the gut, too. Like we know Even misses Isak because he drew them having cheese toasties together, in another, better universe. But it’s also good to see him state the words so directly. Again, the longing. My heart can’t take it.

This is the drawing that ends up on the wall of the Evak apartment in S4. Isak saved it and they both decided to put it up, even when all the drama had passed, because it was special to them. I like to think it’s a reminder to them of what they went through to be together, and to treasure their life in the present, because going through hell was worth it to arrive at their happiness together.

Look at Isak’s little smile, awwwww.

Not to ruin this beautiful moment or anything but as people have pointed out, Tarjei is reacting to a blank piece of paper.

I think I’ve said this before but looking at Even’s drawing here reminded me of how I am an utter wreck of a human being when I think about his drawings being in the S3 header. Just Isak surrounded by Even’s sketches. Even’s mind, Even’s personality. Even as an integral part of the season, of Isak’s story. I see an Illuminati symbol surrounded by dicks and I’m overcome with emotion. This season still got its claws in me, goddamn.

Clip 5 - REUNION CLIP

This clip is just so heartwarming. When this aired the Skam train had left the station, internationally speaking, and the fandom was so happy and having such a good time with this quality content. It’s really amazing how fast the fandom grew. I think the reaction to this clip was maybe when it sank in for me that Skam was getting big on Tumblr.

The boys talking about russ music at parties reminds me of how S3 is so devoid of anything russ-related compared to other seasons. If Skam had continued until graduation, do you think we’d see the boy squad participating in russ at all, or would they opt out? I mean, I guess we have Jonas’ thoughts on the matter, but what about the others? We don’t see them planning anything, obviously, but a lot of us wanted to see the boys in those overalls. How common is it not to participate?

The way Jonas says “Nate Dogg” cracks me up.

Isak is trying, really trying to get invested in this conversation, but his mind can’t help but roam elsewhere, to Evenland. He is wearing the exact same outfit as in the Bros clip of episode 5, and it’s a similar setup, scene-wise - he’s at a pre-drink with his boys and they’re engaged in a conversation, but he’s very disconnected from it all. The difference here is that Isak has re-established that social connection with them, so Jonas is quick to notice Isak really isn’t there with them, and he checks with Isak. Not just how Isak is feeling right then and there, but making sure to ask about the Even situation. Jonas can deduce that whatever’s got Isak in a mood, it’s probably Even-related. And because Isak has opened up to Jonas, he doesn’t have to sit there in misery the whole time.

The setup of this scene is subtly different from the Bros clip, too. In that one, the boys were all on different pieces of furniture - Magnus and Mahdi on some couch, Jonas across from them on a chair, and Isak between them on another chair - and it made it easy for Isak to sit there disengaged from the group because of the distance. Here they’re all sitting around the same table, a united front, and it’s not as easy for Isak to detach himself. He’s in the same place as they are, he’s level with them.

When Isak says Even has a girlfriend, Magnus asks if he is pansexual. HOW RIGHT YOU ARE, SON. Look at Magnus, using his new vocabulary.

These boys are just darling. I kind of love how Jonas is the friend who is like 100% Team You, like … the friend who will join in with you when you’re spilling your romance woes and be like, “What is his DEAL?” and give you all that commiseration you want, but also the advice you need to hear. And Magnus is like oooo, are we talking about Even? Isak’s friends want all the dirt on their boy’s boy. Like they are invested, they are ready and willing to hear about Isak’s interpersonal issues.

But isn’t it nice for Isak to be able to talk about this with people? That once he’s no longer keeping this huge secret, he can talk with his friends about his romance problems, just like they can talk about their girl drama? It’s no different than Magnus talking about Vilde, except with less TMI. That’s the obvious contrast between this scene and the Bros clip. Isak starts off detached in both scenes, but in this one the boys bring him back in.

And to be fair, Isak could hypothetically had shitty friends who didn’t accept him, or who were theoretically OK with him being gay but didn’t actually want to hear him talk about hooking up with boys because it made them uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that happens in real life. Like … Isak was not unjustified in his fears and in his keeping secrets. It’s just that his friends turned out to be great, and that opening up to them was a positive step.

One annoying part about coming out to his friends: Isak having to deal with Magnus’ incredibly heterosexual questions. But also, it’s nice that the other boys are clearly rolling their eyes and groaning at Magnus being a dumbass, it’s treated as Magnus bieng inappropriate. And this exchange is a small but valid misconception to include in the show, because it’s a big thing for straight people to ask who’s the man and who’s the woman in a gay relationship - they’re still mapping the relationship onto heteronormative roles. Each romantic relationship MUST have a man or woman role in it. And of course that’s not the case. Not to mention this question is also clearly linked to sexual roles, like … two men having sex are two men. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing during that sex. No one’s the “woman.” (I mean, I think Magnus is asking how they decide who’s the top and who’s the bottom? But there are no guidelines for that, either, lol. Those are things people decide as individuals when having sex, it’s not a universal rule who does what. Or I guess Magnus is just very confused about how gay sex works, lmao.)

Magnus’ question always reminds me of this scene from The Office.

Isak’s roast of Magnus here is one of the finest roasts I’ve ever heard, like someone serve it with carrots and enter it in the county fair because it’ll win a blue ribbon. He goes in for the drag about straight sex and then circles back for a snap at Magnus’ lack of action! Double roasted! So roasted it’s burnt! You’re going to be chewing on that sucker and end up spitting it into a napkin. Even Jonas is impressed.

Lmao, I know Magnus is meant to be the clueless straight guy, but I like headcanoning him as stumbling into a bisexual epiphany in a few years. Like sometime after he graduates he’ll be like … ohhhhhh, that’s why I had those questions about gay sex for Isak and was so invested in Evak and was struck speechless by Even.

JONAS IS THE FUCKING BEST, LISTEN TO HIM AND HIS WISE OLD WIZARD EYEBROWS, ISAK

Really, Jonas just cuts past the bullshit and says for Isak to put his foot down about this whole Even situation. It’s now or never. Stop letting Even play with your heart. Did Jonas have a flair for relationship advice when he and Eva were together, or has he gained some wisdom from his own experience with love drama?

This scene is just such a joy! Usually in media, the gay characters are the ones who help out the straight characters with their romantic drama. Here it’s the opposite. Especially because these are straight boys who are completely fine with giving their gay bro advice on how to get his man. This is honestly great of Julie to normalize this behavior. I’ve heard comments that maybe this situation is idealized, that the boy squad are so cool with everything, but you know what? Skam, for all its realism, is frequently about ideal outcomes - not just how things are, but how they should be. Giving teenagers a roadmap of how to react in unknown situations.

Also, how great is it that Isak has been listening to endless conversations about girls, sitting through dance chicks performances, basically going through all these social rituals and bonding with his friends over heterosexual desire, feeling so isolated from it all, and now finally he’s included? His coming out has opened the door for Isak to both be honest about his own attraction to men and no longer having to feign interest in girls. Freeeedoooooom!

The boys are also using their knowledge of dating girls to help out Isak, translating it to him dating a boy. And I mean, there is a different social context with straight relationships and gay relationships, so their advice might not always fit perfectly with Isak’s situation. However, it matters that they’re not othering Isak (well, Magnus is with his questions, but those are laughed at and shut down). They’re able to maintain an easy connection with Isak, not filtering him through a different lens because he’s into a guy. Which is absolutely what Isak wants, to be treated the same.

Isak is very encouraged by the boys telling him to put Even on the spot and be blunt with him about what’s happening with them. I think it’s funny that Magnus is like, “Yeah, it sucks when she leaves you on read,” and we hear it happens to him all the time. Somehow that does not surprise me!

Isak is friendlier and not as blunt as Jonas encouraged him to be in the text message to Even, thanking Even for the drawing at the beginning. He’s human, he’s soft for Even, he can’t totally hide it. But he does make it clear that if Even doesn’t want something more, then this needs to end.

“Call me when you’ve broken up with your girlfriend.” What a line. You harness that self-respect, Isak.

They’re all so proud of their boy Isak for standing up for himself. They’re even like “Bros! Brothers!” when they clink their cans. You have to imagine that even if this thing with Even hadn’t worked out, Isak had a strong support system to get him through the heartbreak.

Lmao, Even answers immediately. Isak giving him that ultimatum and laying down the law really made him sweat, huh.

No, really, let’s talk about what Even thought when he got this text.

Now personally I believe Even was no longer in a clear relationship with Sonja when he got this text. I think whatever happened with them at Emma’s party was either temporary or ill-defined, and they were still technically on a break through all of this. Mostly because Even ends up getting to Isak’s apartment SO FAST. Like ... was Even breaking up with Sonja as he was running out the door??? Did he shoot her a break-up text during the night, after when Isak was asleep? I’d like to think he didn’t do Sonja that dirty.

But yeah, Even responds so quickly. Right after Isak sends that first text, Even realizes that he might lose him. And after all this hesitation, knowing that Isak doesn’t want mentally ill people around, fearing that he could hurt Isak, that Isak could reject him once he finds out the truth … after his efforts to push Isak away, Even can’t do it. When Isak makes plain that Even has to put up or shut up, it takes zero time for Even to make a decision. Or at least, he has to talk to Isak. The thought of losing Isak outweighs any other concerns he might have. There’s something about the simplicity of it that gets me. When there’s no time or room for doubt, Even chooses Isak in a heartbeat.

Jonas is of course the master of strategic texting. Don’t call Even, because calling will put you on the spot and bring you closer together than texting. Isak has to be a little aloof, make Even think he’s really about to let go. Play it cool. The magic words are Chiller hjemme. Lets him know you might be available, but you’re not desperate to talk with him. (Seriously, how did Jonas get this smooth?? I assume from experience but lmao, the evolution between S1 and S3 Jonas is like ... Bulbasaur and Venusaur.) (I don’t know Pokemon that well, if there’s one that has magnificent eyebrows please let me know.)

Isak’s facial expressions throughout this whole texting debate are so funny to me. He’s practically a wide-eyed innocent? He’s so earnest, he really does want to talk to Even! Plus with his little curls popping out from under his snapback, he looks very young and fresh-faced to the whole ultimatum via text message thing.

And he keeps wanting to add more to the text, like “just call me,” or suggesting a smiley, and Jonas shoots that shit down. What a character moment, honestly? Isak the young inexperienced texter and Jonas who has gone through multiple desired relationships. It is really cute that Isak wants to add a smiley! But Jonas is right, it completely would have made him seem too eager and destroyed the perception of aloofness.

What smiley would he have landed on, though? 😀 or 🙂 or 😁 or 😎? I’m partial to the sunglasses emoji myself. Chiller hjemme 😎

There is a conversation to be had, by academics who study the impact of modern technology on everyday communication, about the instinctive knowledge these teenagers have about subtleties in non-verbal expression, such as recognizing the impact that a smiley can have in changing the tone of a text message, and combing Skam for all related examples of strategic use of electronic messaging and/or social media to send messages to their peers.

STRAIGHT UP

Sometimes I think Marlon’s finest acting on the show is that self-assured look he gives Isak when he says Even will call, or that gasp of overjoyed satisfaction when Even shows up at the door a few minutes later. Those are just some damn fine expressions.

This moment where the boys sit in silence, waiting for the text, is so good! They’re hooked into the drama! They want their boy to get his man! And that forlorn shot of the phone sitting on the table among the beer cans, inactive. Not lighting up with the desired response from Even.

It’s also really sweet when the boys try to offer suggestions why Even isn’t responding. Even Magnus has a reasonable idea about checking the typing bubble. When it seems like Isak has given up, Mahdi says maybe Even is just somewhere he can’t talk right now. (Which was accurate, seeing as Even was probably hauling ass over to Isak’s apartment.)

Poor Isak, you could see how he was getting hopeful and feeling better when this whole texting idea started, he was proud of himself for being proactive and putting his foot down with Even’s indecisiveness, he had a little smile and some light in his eyes. And now, the resignation is seeping in. Tarjei does a lot of these smaller reactions so well. Isak is still smiling a little, but it’s bitter, he’s telling them that Even is going to flake again. I mean, I’m not even sure Isak is totally convinced that Even won’t respond. I feel like he does still have that spark of hope, he’s just trying to tamp it down. He knows Even has a history of running hot and cold and he doesn’t want to get too optimistic.

Guys, I’m so emotional about these kids. Tarjei is such a good actor that all of his micro-expressions are giving me pinpricks to my heart. And I’ve seen this a million times and I know that in less than five minutes Isak’s going to be shaking off his virginity like he’s a golden retriever come in from the rain, BUT. But I feel so bad for this kid and his disappointed face.

And the rest of the boys, too. They’re there with their friend Isak getting his heart broken. Even, you’re letting down not just the man of your life, but the whole crew!!!

The other boys try to make some conversation about other topics but Isak just sits there, checking his phone again. At this point, watching the clip for the first time, I definitely thought Even was headed over to Isak’s - no way could they have this random conversation about fermenting beer at school without something big to interrupt it. Also, we hadn’t seen Even at all this week, so he probably had to make an appearance. Still, that wait? Feels like forever.

THAT DOORBELL RING, YESSSSSS. Didn’t our hearts leap up at that simple sound?

How Even got there so fast is such a mystery, too. I guess he doesn’t live that far away, and he could have taken his bike, but I mean, he’s literally there in two minutes after Isak sends the Chiller hjemme text. Two minutes! Sometimes it takes me two minutes just to put on my shoes and leave the house.

I kind of like the idea that maybe Even was already in the neighborhood, or out for a walk or something, trying to work up the courage to go over to Isak. There’s an Instagram post from Magnus of the boys drinking in the kitchen, so if Even happened to see it, he could recognize it as Isak’s kitchen, he could know Isak was at home, he might find himself wandering in that direction….

Lmao, I love them asking Isak if he invited more people and Isak being like, nah, you guys are the only friends I have. It’s kind of self-deprecating but uh … also true. And of course that’s why it was important for these bros to accept Isak’s sexuality.

The boys are really into saying Eskild’s name for some reason, they do it in episode 2 as well. WHERE IS MY ESKILD/BOY SQUAD INTERACTION. I wrote this in the episode 2 recap but I want to know what the boys thought of Eskild, especially prior to Isak coming out, because that probably would have influenced Isak’s attitude toward coming out to his friends?

We don’t get a shot of Even standing outside the building, even though it would be within Isak’s POV. I’m assuming because it would have been too complicated or time-consuming to film for just a short shot. Or maybe for Dramatic purposes, it’s more striking to just have Even appear after the week by smoldering in the doorway, and it heightens Isak’s brief anxiety by keeping Even’s reveal in suspense. But what do you suppose Even was doing outside as he waited? Bouncing up and down nervously as he tends to do? Hands in his pockets? Panting from getting to Isak as fast as he could?

Speaking of Drama, lmao how dramatic is Even, that he just SHOWS UP, in the time it takes to make toaster strudel, with no warning? Hypothetically he could’ve texted I’m coming over to Isak, but of course that would ruin the intended effect of Even just landing at Isak’s door. It’s such a cinematic movie. I think love of movies is so ingrained into Even’s personality that sometimes he just does what a romantic comedy protagonist would do.

Or else Even was just not thinking anything but Isak Isak Isak must get to Isak and didn’t even consider anything but getting his ass in motion. Which frankly, I think is quite likely!

This is a very minor point but the way this clip was filmed always throws me when Isak gets up and we see how tiny the table is. They show it at the start of the clip, but the texting debate feels like some knights of the round table shit in terms of importance. It feels like it should be way bigger and instead they’re sitting at this little square.

The boys are so delighted that Even is there. And it makes me laugh so hard that Magnus is excited about getting to meet Even, L M A O. I mean, even if he assumed that Isak and Even were just going to have a long talk and not bang it out, how awkward would that have been? Who wants to meet your friend’s sorta-maybe-potential boyfriend when they’re presumably about to have a serious discussion about the fragile state of their relationship?

And of course Isak is like FUCK THAT about his friends meeting Even right then and there. Tarjei’s delivery of, “You can’t meet him, what the fuck are you saying?” is perhaps underrated in its comedy.

Lmao, Isak gets so cranky here, too, he went from soft “Smiley?” Isak to RARRRRR grumpy teenage boy in like two seconds. All thanks to Even’s presence, of course!

Bless Jonas yet again for just immediately starting to pack up, no questions asked.

This is a Romeo + Juliet song when the boys start leaving ( “Local God” by Everclear”). I believe it was used in the film when Romeo and his crew are hanging out, so it’s a bro song. We don’t hear any of the lyrics in the clip but they sure are interesting:

I feel just like a local god when I'm with the boys. We do what we want, yes, we do what we want. I feel just like a local god when I'm with the boys. We do what we want, yes, we do what we want. We do what we want. Yeah, we do what we want. Be my Romeo, Tell me all about your love, Tell me all about your pain, Baited breath and rubber gloves. Be my Romeo, My go-go Romeo, I see you twist and turn, You look so fuckin' stupid.

So yes, bro song with direct mentions of Romeo.

All the chaos and casual catastrophe of the boys getting up to leave, I love it. It’s all the typical stuff when you leave a party - where’s my phone, where are my shoes, what’s happening, etc.

Also that Isak herds them out the back door, he really does not want Even to meet them, it’s gonna be too awkward and it’ll be anything but chill if Even knows Isak sent his friends away to get some alone time with Even.

“These aren’t even my shoes!” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, I truly love these teenage failboats with all my heart.

They are champs for leaving when Isak asked them to, like even with all the confusion this was relatively swift and efficient.

Oh my God, guys. When Isak shuts the door, "Local God” (the song associated with his friends) instantly stops, and he is left there alone, for just a second, and the opening of Lykke Li’s “Tonight” starts … I get butterflies in my stomach. Isak is nervous, I’m nervous, we’re all nervous. What good directing from Julie, switching so quickly from a comedic mood to this vulnerable romantic mood, and how she can do that in just a few seconds with some well-chosen music and a moment to breathe.

Yeah, that moment to breathe, from Isak … where he shuts the door and looks toward the other side where Even is knocking, and takes just a brief pause to collect himself, and you can see how unsure of himself he is … good acting, good directing, just. Good.

AND THEN HE OPENS THE DOOR AND EVEN LOOKS LIKE THAT

I honestly do not feel Isak opened the door with the intention of getting laid, or that Even came over with the intention of getting laid. Especially Even, actually. I think Even really just panicked at the thought of losing Isak and ran over. It’s possible that maybe Even was even going to explain a bit - I don’t know if he was going to go over everything, necessarily, but I think Even wanted to make some things clear - that he wasn’t with Sonja, or that he wanted to be with Isak. I don’t know how he would have brought up his bipolar disorder though I guess it’s possible he could have pushed himself to do so. And maybe in that little pause moment, before Isak opened the door, he thought to himself about the possibilities of what could happen when they were alone, but it was wrapped up in every other uncertainty or fear, such as Even dumping him or saying he wanted to end it, or that he couldn’t leave Sonja. But it all changed when Isak opened the door and they looked at each other; they had missed each other so much and wanted each other so much that talk wasn’t happening.

Even looks really rattled and vulnerable when Isak first opens the door, I’m sure he’s thinking over how he’s going to explain himself, maybe psyching himself up to disclose his mental illness, as mentioned. But he softens a little when he registers Isak, because despite everything, it’s Isak.

Isak is trying to keep it together and play it cool at first and then Even Hallas at him a few octaves lower than normal so that’s not happening. Lawd, Henrik.

Even starts to look a little hesitant and nervous again as they pause too long at the door, like, oh right, I ran over here without a clear invitation. Is this okay? Am I welcome? Should I go?

But obviously Isak is just like, fuck it, and goes in for the kiss. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Isak initiated the kiss, Isak has been proactive throughout the evening, Isak is more assured in his sexuality that he can do this.

You know what else has experienced character development? Isak’s tongue.

The first time I watched that part I think my eyebrows legit jumped off my face. No offense but gay storylines on TV frequently feature dry, tight-lipped, no-homo kissing so it’s nice when actors actually kiss like they mean it. Isak and Even really want each other, it’s believable.

But seriously, this is actual progress for Isak and demonstrates that he’s more grounded and confident in his sexuality.

That moment when they break off the kiss for just a second - I’m pretty sure it’s Even who breaks it off to look at Isak, as if to ask whether he’s sure he wants this. And Isak wastes barely any time before diving back in, by way of an answer. Not gonna lie, that moment when characters stop kissing to look at each other, searching for an answer in the other’s face, is one of those romance tropes that I enjoy, so this was a good scene for me.

Even lost his denim jacket somewhere between the front hallway and Isak’s bedroom, by the way. I’m just imagining Eskild or Noora stepping over it when they got home and being like, yep, Isak had a busy night. (Linn would probably step on the jacket and not notice.)

Even shoves Isak against a wall because he is living that fanfic life.

Kudos once again to Tarjei and Henrik because they really keep kissing and stay in their character’s passionate mindset. There’s a moment where they sort of break off to start undressing and Even swoops in for another brief kiss - it feels like these two seriously can’t stop kissing, they want to be kissing, and it’s a small moment but it makes it feel like they genuinely desire each other.

Lol, Even was going to take off his hoodie first but then decided to divest Isak of his shirt, what a gentleman.

I don’t know why I love that snapback coming off but I do. It’s just funny to me in a way? Like the snapback would get knocked off anyway when Isak took off his shirt but he’s instead he has to make a Moment of it. You know shit’s getting real when the hat comes off.

This bit that goes from against the wall to in the middle of the room shirtless (they moved around!) is just so tender??? Like that bit where Even taps Isak’s lip with his thumb and gets in a quick nose rub. What the fuck.

I mentioned this in my episode 5 review but this scene is what made up the footage in the mysterious hiatus trailer that had everyone in a tizzy for 10 days, except not all of the footage in that trailer made it into this clip, so there’s extra Evak sex scene footage out there. I am sure this would be of interest to no one, obviously.

Not to be weird but I legit think it is nice that Tarjei is doing this scene with this large zit on his forehead because that’s OK! People don’t have perfect skin when they have sex.

I feel like Isak is having a spiritual experience when Even goes down his body, like he’s not even entirely there. Is this happening to me???

Also, totally a callback to the very first scene of the season, when Emma tries to blow Isak in the bathroom and he’s not having it. He does not express such reluctance when Even goes down on him. A+ narrative parallels, Julie, A+.

But this was a really good first time scene (if you believe, as I do, that this was their first time together) and a lovely sex scene that wasn’t either too exploitative or too coy. The Evak sex scenes are handled very well in this season.

And Lykke Li’s “Tonight” was a gooooood choice. How simple and painful is the desire behind those lyrics. You can just imagine how Isak and Even have been missing each other and pining, and how this song expresses the feeling that they don’t want to let each other go. And all this emotion goes unspoken, tonight they’re not going to talk about their heartbreak, tonight they’re just going to show each other all that pent-up longing.

But also, the end song over the credits, “Crave” by Pharrell Williams??? Spectacular. We watch this emotional scene set to this incredibly sweet song full of longing and vulnerability and then the credit song is just like … sex. Sex is a thing that is happening. It is the equivalent of an eyebrows waggle and a suggestive wink. Bet you can guess what they were doing after the credits rolled!

I love this show so much, oh my God.

Social Media/General Comments:

The text that Isak sends in reply to Even’s cheese toastie drawing seems so polite, like Isak rewrote it a million times trying to decide on the right tone and phrasing and everything and finally went for something very neutral, trying to reestablish the conversation between the two of them without seeming too eager.

Eskild sends Isak a long-ish text after their talk on Sunday, where he basically strives to give Isak more encouragement. You can tell he really thought over what he said to Isak because he truly wants to be helpful to him and be a good guru. He realizes Isak is young and probably in his first relationship with a guy, and Eskild can’t help but feel protective and not want Isak to get his heart broken. It’s honestly such a sweet message, because Eskild is first and foremost looking out for Isak’s well-being. Like … there’s a thing in media (and fanfic, sometimes) where a character’s friends are more concerned with making sure their romance works out, rather than whether this romance is right and good for the friend. Isak’s friends in this season are supportive of Evak, but they’re Team Isak first, and they’re not afraid to tell Isak when they think Even is doing Isak dirty or when it might not work out. See also: Jonas in this week’s Fredag clip.

Anyway, Eskild tells Isak how happy he is that Isak came to him for advice, and that’s beautiful. It’s supportive of Isak relying on his friends rather than bottling up his feelings. And he says that he thinks Isak is brave- incredible, show-stopping, spectacular, etc. I mean telling Isak he is brave? What a wonderful thing to say to a kid who’s still in the early stages of coming out and is dealing with a ton of insecurities. Eskild is the fucking best, guys.

But he’s also offering to hook up Isak with someone and help him move on to another guy if that’s what Isak wants, lol. Getting in his jab about tights and mascara but in a good-natured way.

You know who else is the fucking best? Jonas. Isak texts him about the rumors with Even spreading and Jonas is so supportive and sweet, offering to talk to the guys for Isak and telling him not to stress over it. With a heart emoji, no less ❤️

Isak also decides that he should be the one to tell the guys. My brave boy!

Jonas also posts an IG on the same day of the text with him and Isak as Simon & Garfunkel, with the hashtag #bros. Basically a show of support for Isak. Like. CAN YOU BELIEVE. My heart gets so warm thinking about these kids. Skam is a space heater for my soul.

Text between Kollektivet where Linn does not want to leave on Friday and Eskild is dragging Linn out of her cave. I mean, sometimes you want to chill, but this is probably good for Linn. Get her out of the house.

Text between the boy squad after Isak comes out to all of them. They’re able to rib him about his “family dinner” so things are back to normal.

I want to mention that Isak uses a Broad City gif. I don’t know if Isak actually watches Broad City, but the idea is pretty funny.

I know Magnus can be dense as hell but he uses a gif of Sam Rockwell in Galaxy Quest in response to Isak’s drag and like, Galaxy Quest is the greatest film of all time so clearly Magnus is a man of superior taste and intellect.

PS he says something that translates to “never giving up hope” and I’m going to take that he meant “never give up, never surrender.”

Mahdi says Friday is going to be nice because “bros united.” Awwww! That’s especially nice coming from him since he and Isak had the friction; I feel like this is his way of saying he’s really over what happened between them and he just wanted them all to be OK.

I remember when this episode was airing in real time, people had a lot of theories about what would happen on Friday. Jonas mentions an Elvebakken party and Magnus mentions a gay bar. I remember people thinking they might go to the Elvebakken and see Even, or hear about Even’s past from Bakka people, or that they’d go to the gay bar and Isak would hook up with someone or run into Even or something. Instead Isak never made it out of his apartment, lmao.

Also, Magnus being like, “I’m up for a gay bar” is not hurting my bi Magnus headcanon at all. I know, I know, he’s that bumbling straight friend. Still!

Isak texts Eskild about his second drawing and Eskild is like, “Play hard to get.” Which obviously did not work on Friday. He also calls Isak his little godkitten which is. Adorable.

As I mentioned above, Magnus posted a pic of the boy squad at the pre-drink and that’s why I think Even might have seen it and moseyed over in that direction and was already lurking in the vicinity, as to account for him showing up so fast.

#skam reactions #skam season 3 #skam #isak valtersen #evak

109 notes · View notes

ninequestions9 · 6 years ago

Text

David, 25, Actor

What is the biggest frustration you’re facing now?

Finding motivation to pursue the goals that I have decided are important to me. It is very difficult for me to sort of break out of established cycles in my life and take a chance and do something new that I know is important to me. It’s hard due to a mixture of anxiety and fear of failure. If you never try anything new then you can’t fail. I tend to just delay and pretend I’m waiting for an optimal time or specific circumstances, but there’s no such thing.

2. What trait do you wish you most had?

I mean my first instinct is to say teleportation, which is telling I think because commuting sucks. Can you imagine never having to commute ever again? Like you just apparate. That would be so good!

But work ethic; the ability to just feel good about a job well done even if I didn’t want to do it. Right now I don’t really get that. I don’t get a feeling of satisfaction just from doing something work-wise. Cleaning, you know, that kind of thing. It just doesn’t make me feel good to get it done. So it’s so hard to motivate myself to do it.

3. What are 3 characteristics you look for in a friend?

Emotional availability; meaning someone who is capable of being open and available emotionally, like being present and being able to make commitments. Just general nerdiness. Being able to keep up in conversation about various passions. I guess a good listener is a more specific thing there because even if someone doesn’t share all the interests that I have, being able to be a good active listener is all that it really takes. On the flip side of that, passionate. Someone has to be passionate about at least one thing. I tend to perceive someone as boring if they don’t have at least one thing that they can just be like “Let me tell you about sock repair!” Otherwise I just feel like I never stop talking if someone doesn’t have the ability of matching my intensity on a number of issues.

4. What makes you feel brave?

Dating and/or social situations like parties. I’m quite introverted and I have some social anxiety at times, but it is something that I have worked at and have ways of overcoming due to my acting training in some respects and the friends I’ve made and the support I’ve received from them. Going out and having a good time and meeting strangers and finding common ground, making new friends.

5. What makes you feel vulnerable?

Just recently I had a sort of a break through and discovered how much emotion I tend to withhold from others, no matter how close they are to me. Which is part of growing up male. Every male is encouraged to not show emotion and not to be vulnerable and to deal with it yourself specifically. Maybe admit to yourself that you’re vulnerable and hurting, but don’t tell anybody else until after you’ve already solved it. Just recently I’ve gotten a little bit better at revealing when I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed or anxious and in the moment; like revealing that and letting someone else help me manage those emotions.

Emily, who is my partner right now, helped me a lot just by being observant and not letting me get away with just saying “Everything’s fine,” and withdrawing and just bearing all that by myself, which has been very healthy. Just healthier in general for both of us just because when someone is that close to you they can tell when you’re undergoing stress like that. There’s no use pretending otherwise with them; you’re not going to fool them so you might as well communicate about it and share it with each other.

6. What was your proudest moment?

It’s tough to pin down for me because I’m pretty prideful in general. Not in the Seven Deadly Sins kind of way, but I’m not afraid to admit when I’m proud of an accomplishment I’ve made or a skill that I’ve cultivated. I guess the thing that I feel the most proud of is admitting that I was poly[amorous]. That’s one of my most recent huge scheme of change in life. Just this shift that I made. That was something that I was denying myself, but once I saw it, it felt like it had always been right and I had been lying to myself and hurting people around me because I was lying to myself. Denying others and myself a chance to have a true open relationship was because of that. Making that realization and communicating with my girlfriend at the time about it and eventually freeing us from the unhealthy cycle we were trapped in: Me realizing I had feelings for other people and then thinking it meant I didn’t care for her and breaking up and then realizing that other people are shitty sometimes and getting back together with her. Just not healthy. Just coming to that realization has brought me a lot of joy and has opened up a lot of opportunities to stop hating myself for those specific reasons.

7. Who is your role model / hero and why?

I remember being asked this question as a child for a school project and I couldn’t think of anyone then so I just put Shaquille O’Neal. I just panicked and was like “Ahh I don’t know.” There are worse role models, but like I didn’t have any reasons to back it up.

I don’t think I have ever really compared myself to other people in that way. Which is probably just a luxury of being a white cis male. Growing up, there was not as much pressure for me to match other people’s aesthetics or ideals. I could just have my own thing. My instinct now is to say….like no real humans. I think Steven Universe, from the popular Cartoon Network series “Steven Universe,” is a great example of a character who breaks down the toxic aspects of masculinity without sacrificing the positive attributes and being emotionally available. Even though he’s like 12, that’s definitely something that I love about myself and strive to be more and more everyday. Emotionally open and accepting and conscious of other people’s emotions. You don’t have to sacrifice any traditionally masculine virtues that you have as well. Yeah I feel comfortable saying Steven Universe.

8. What is one life lesson you’d like to pass down to future generations?

There is no such thing as a mono-culture. Always keep in mind that just because people share attributes does not mean they share culture or share opinions. No such thing as a mono-culture. Every American is different and believes different things or has the potential to believe different things. Everything I ever think about comes back to Dungeons and Dragons. It’s a miracle I didn’t mention it until now. The analog I always use is in classic fantasy, it’s all mono-cultures. Elves always live in forests and they always are elitist and proud and beautiful. Dwarves always live in mountains and are greedy and isolationist. Hobbits are portly and cook all the time and don’t like traveling. Mono-cultures. The only people who don’t have mono-cultures sort of are the humans. We apply these same sort of prejudices to real life. We believe that people that look similar or believe the same thing are these mono-cultures and we are constantly simplifying things in our minds by taking these short cuts.

But really there’s no such thing! Every person might grow up in the same environment, but just have so many subtle differences in their upbringing or experiences that can lead to vastly different opinions. My parents grew up in the same place that I grew up and I grew up with my parents, but I don’t share a lot of their values or their beliefs.

9. What is your opinion of Jesus?

Jesus the man seemed pretty cool. I’m and atheist. I don’t believe that Jesus was anymore than a man. I don’t believe that he had any idea of what a big deal he was going to be so far down the road. I think he was a Jewish philosopher who sought to bring people closer together and clear up some of the discrepancies in the Old Testament and make people feel loved and supported and help people to love and support each other. Obviously, things got a little out of hand and they killed him. It makes a lot of sense that that story has survived throughout so many years because that is just the human condition right there. I don’t dislike him.

To sort of get into a broader discussion, Christianity is not great at being fallible or admitting that their fallible. They have the whole like the pope is infallible rule, which tends to not be healthy. To admit that Christ might have been fallible and the people around him might have been fallible as well and to also admit that that does not invalidate his message or the things he did. This is something that happened thousands of years ago and has been translated into different languages hundreds of times. Taking these ancient texts as gospel is not necessary to finding meaning from them and to let them affect your life and better yourself.

0 notes

thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain · 8 years ago

Text

An open letter to all Supergirl fans...

Before you read, warning, this is a very long open letter to the Supergirl fandom. Please reblog if you agree with me. Also, if any hate is spread on this post, don't think I will think twice about blocking and possibly reporting you. This post will NOT be a platform or vessel for hate in any way.

Recently, I've been looking around Tumblr and I've been seeing some serious hate being spread based on some differences of opinions. One thing we all have in common, however, is that we are all Supergirl fans. If you are, please read on.

Maybe you fell in love with Supergirl in the first season. Maybe you loved how the season balanced Kara Danvers, worker at Catco and Supergirl, superhero working at the DEO. Or maybe you fell in love with Supergirl in the second season. Maybe you love how the show is centered around her heroics and the DEO, and how she is using her new position at Catco to further her superheroing.

Maybe you love Cat Grant. Maybe you felt that she was the perfect role model for Kara, not only as a woman but as Supergirl as well. Maybe you felt like the show was doomed once Cat left; one of the main highlights of season one was her inspirational speeches. Or maybe, although Cat Grant was amazing, you feel like Cat leaving forced Kara to have to come into her own; it forced her to have to believe in herself, make her own decisions and choices, and trust in herself.

Maybe you love Jimmy Olsen. Maybe you loved that he was a tie that Kara had to Clark, and you love that he was a good friend to her. Or maybe you don't like that. Maybe you like that he's finding his own superhero path now, and has ditched the photography route in favor of fighting crime, while still maintaining order as the new head of Catco. Maybe you love Guardian. Or maybe you feel like he is in way too deep right now and needs some proper training before he can truly come into his own. Maybe you feel that he is betraying Kara by doing this against her wishes, or maybe you feel like he can make his own decisions about his life.

Maybe you love Winn Schott. Maybe you love how he has been there for Kara every step of the way. Maybe you loved his role as the techie at Catco, or maybe you love that Winn is able to get his hands dirty now as part of the DEO. Maybe you love that is is working with Guardian now, or maybe you feel like he's betraying Kara by doing this. Maybe you feel like Winn working at the DEO and helping Guardian is great, considering the dark childhood that he had. Maybe you feel like he wants to help to atone for the sins of his father, and maybe you love that he's such good friends with Kara because she is always a beacon of light in his life, that could otherwise be dark considering his past.

Maybe you love Alex Danvers. Maybe you love how strong of a character she is, despite the fact that she does not have powers. Maybe you love her dynamic with Kara. Or maybe you feel like she is a bit of a hothead. Maybe you like that in Season 1, she was sort of battling her own side villain in Maxwell Lord. Or maybe you love that she has been integrated into leading the charge against Cadmus this season. Maybe you love that she came out this season as lesbian, and that she has found love in Maggie Sawyer, or maybe you don't like that. Maybe you don't like that part of who they're fighting is Alex's father, or maybe you love this dynamic because it makes the fight that they're facing more personal for her.

Maybe you love Jonn Jonzz. Maybe you love the reveal that he was an alien in Season 1, or maybe you felt like that was too big of a secret to be hidden. Maybe you love his romance with Mgann, and how he has learned to see past her White Martian status, and simply see her as a person, and a person that he loves. Or maybe you feel like by doing this, he betrayed his entire people. Maybe you love how he has become a father figure for Kara and Alex. Maybe you liked that the DEO was not as prevalent in the first season, or maybe you love that Jonn has been given a lot more screentime now that the focus is more on the DEO.

Maybe you enjoyed the old cast of characters, or maybe you love that there have been a lot of new characters introduced this season. Maybe you don't like Snapper Carr, or maybe you feel like he's help to challenge Kara to become the reporter that she wants to be. Maybe you don't like Lena, or maybe you love the way that she is trying so desperately to show that not all Luthors are evil. Maybe you relate to Lena trying to become her own person. Maybe you don't like Mon El, or maybe you love the way that he is essentially relearning how to live life now that his planet has been destroyed, and through Kara's help is trying to be a better person, lover and superhero. Maybe you identify with his learning and stumbling through life arc. Maybe you love these new characters, or maybe you feel like Supergirl was better without them.

Maybe you ship Karolsen. Maybe you loved the idea of an interracial romance being played out on TV, or maybe you felt like the dynamic of alien and human dating would not work as well for her as it did for Clark since Clark was with humans since infantry and Kara was not. Maybe you thought that Jimmy was nothing but respectful to Kara, or maybe you felt that Kara was reduced to pining after Jimmy throughout the entire season, since Jimmy was dating Lucy for most of the season. Maybe you felt like Lucy was getting in the way of Karolsen, or maybe you felt like Kara shouldn't have been so hung up on Jimmy since he was dating Lucy. Maybe you felt that Kara broke up with Jimmy for no reason. Or maybe you feel like her near-death experience at the end of season 1 made her rethink what she wanted out of life, and she realized Jimmy wasn't it.

Maybe you ship Winnara. Maybe you feel like they are perfect for each other, or maybe you feel like they're best as friends. Maybe you're upset that they never really talked about the time that Winn kissed Kara, or maybe you feel like Winn shouldn't have done that in the first place. Maybe you feel that Winn and Kara were always platonic, or maybe you feel like Winn was drawn to Kara's light based on the darkness of his childhood. Maybe you ship Wyra, and think that the romance between alien and human suits him perfectly. Or maybe you think that that relationship is going to end badly.

Maybe you liked Kara with Cat Grant's son (sorry I've never seen a ship name for them). Maybe you wish he could come back onto the show, but sadly, considering Melissa's divorce, that's one thing I can say will probably not happen.

Maybe you ship Karamel. Maybe you love the story of them both looking past their prejudices of their planets and seeing the good in each other. Maybe you love how Kara is getting to become a mentor to someone, something she missed out on with Clark. Maybe you love how he is trying to adjust himself to Earth's customs with her help. Maybe you think he's sweet to her. Maybe you think he's not. Maybe you think that he is super disrespectful to her. Maybe you think that he needs to learn to respect her and listen to her. Maybe you think that he's trying, or maybe you think he's not trying hard enough or at all.

Maybe you ship Supercorp. Maybe you really want Supergirl to be involved in a f/f relationship. Maybe you think Lena and Kara have amazing chemistry and that Lena is respectful to her. Maybe you love the idea of Luthors and Supers proving people wrong that they don't mix. Or maybe you feel that under no circumstances can Kara get involved with a Luthor. Maybe you feel like that would be a betrayal to Clark. Maybe you feel that Supers and Luthors can't mix. Maybe you feel like if Kara were to date Lena, and Lena did end up turning evil, that that would crush Kara more than anything else could.

Maybe you love the villains. Maybe you loved Maxwell Lord and how him and Alex had a side feud. Maybe you loved Astra, and you loved that by fighting her, she was essentially fighting her past. Or maybe you love the Cadmus storyline. Maybe you love that Supergirl is going with the Luthor storyline, a classic, and putting its own twist on it. Maybe you're waiting to see if there's another big bad coming, or maybe you're not.

We all have our own opinions on these things, and our own reasonings behind it. Heck, I'm sure we all have a preference between which DEO lair we like better too.

The point behind this? At the heart of all of this, when you take away all of the things that we don't like or don't agree with or love on the show, the show comes down to one thing: We all love Kara Danvers. We love her story, we love her feminism and empowerment, we love her journey. We all care about Kara in some degree.

Above all else, Kara aims to be a beacon of light in every aspect of her life. She is trying to bring good to the world and clear the world of darkness. And honestly, Kara would not be happy with the amount of hate that has been spreading throughout the fandom. She would not want to be the catalyst behind so many disagreements and fights, when all she wants to do is make people happy.

If you are loving a storyline, great! The writers are doing their jobs and giving you entertainment. If you are not liking a storyline right now, that's ok. You have an opinion, you wouldn't be a person if you didn't have an opinion. But the great thing about TV is that things are always changing and evolving. Ships don't always last. Storylines don't always last. Characters don't always last. Just because there is an arc right now that you're not fond of does not mean that it is going to stay that way. It could change in the next episode for all we know. However, there are other storylines that are hopefully giving you a sense of satisfaction.

Now, if something is happening that you don't like, it's ok to voice your opinion. You can give feedback to the show if you want. You can even talk about it if you want; there's nothing stopping you. However, the amount of pure HATE I've seen is overwhelming. People are allowed to have different views. That does NOT give you the right to personally attack them or say anything about them personally, when not only do you not know the person, you have NO IDEA what is going on behind the scenes in their lives. Remember, words hurt. They can be taken back, but not forgotten. Attacking something that someone loves, especially in something like a TV show that is meant for the escape of troubles, can be detrimental to a person. You never know what someone is going through and what can push them over the edge. Remember that.

I've seen the most hate from ships. Right now, there is a ship that is canon and people are happy about it. If you are not happy about it, you have a right to be mad, but you do not have the right to attack someone else's happiness. If Supercorp were to become canon, you would not want Karamel and Karolsen shippers invading your happy hashtags with hate on Lena Luthor and Supercorp. If Karolsen was canon, you would not want Karamel and Supercorp shippers invading your happy hashtags with hate and disrespect towards Jimmy and Karolsen. Put yourself in their shoes. What would you want people saying to you if your ship was canon? Remember, this is only the second season of Supergirl, and things are subject to change at any point. Treat people (yes, and ships) the way you want to be treated.

Supergirl is meant to be a fun show, and is meant to be much more lighthearted than other CW DC shows such as Arrow. It is a show all about equality. The show literally had the President give citizenship to aliens. When watching a show about equality, please make sure to exercise some. Nothing positive is ever accomplished by spreading hate. Spread love the way Kara Danvers would want you to. <3

271 notes · View notes

swipestream · 6 years ago

Text

Duel Visions

Tomorrow, Duel Visions, a weird fiction / horror collaboration by two veterans of those genres, Louise Sorrensen and Misha Burnett will be released. For the title think dueling banjos. The authors went into this collaboration thinking it would be one of contrasting styles but found the end effect was one of synchronicity .

Reading Misha’s and Louise’s alternate stories (10 total), involves some shifting of mental gears as the reader moves from one to the next. I’m really not a horror fan so Misha caught me out, as his first story, We Pass From View is a thoughtful piece on life after death but his next offering, The Silk Of Yesterday’s Gown, turns the Clive Barker dial past ten with a story concerning control, and masochistic sexual fetishes gone wrong. For those into that sort of story, Misha assures me the Duel Visions version is toned down and you can read the original in All These Shiny Worlds II. Silk is definitely not my cup of tea so I was glad that his next story, The Summer of Love, turned out to be Misha’s version of Bring the Jubilee. Misha has never read Ward Moore’s book he uses the same concept to good effect.

Louise’s Ragged Angels was influenced by a trip she took to Vancouver in May 2017 and her shock at seeing the drug problem there first hand. She quickly thought of the story’s concept but couldn’t start on it until 3 months later. Immediately after she found time to start writing, she was called away to help on the farm and bring the hay in. Unable to write, she “started to write it in my head” and put herself to sleep at night figuring out what happened next. Three days later, the haying was finished, she had the story down and only needed to put it on paper. A few days after finishing typing, she walked past the barn and the title, Ragged Angels “just popped into my head”. I mention all that as she may have come across an extremely effective method for idea generation. Who knows what the combination was? Hard work which by its nature allowed her to think about the story, pondering the story as she went to sleep and deep sleep brought on by hard work combined in her subconscious to make the idea generation and development process easier. Something must have been at work in her subconsciousness as the reminder provided by walking past the barn a few days later delivered the perfect title. We didn’t explore this in the Q&A as it was the first and so far, only time she wrote a story in this way. I hope she lets us know if she tries that again next harvest.

And, by the way, Ragged Angels is a good vampire story. Sinker, Sailor will be enjoyed by Lovecraft fans and The Green Truck is definitely weird fiction and a good take on the aftermath of suicide, complimenting Misha’s Black Dog.

Q&A on the next page is not to be missed. One of the reasons I jumped at the chance to review this book is I enjoyed interviewing Misha the first time around and the thoughts behind his answers do not disappoint, while Louise proves she is one to keep on eye on going forward. We discuss the merits of short fiction, their writing styles and preferences and how their collaboration on Duel Visions came about.

Interview

Scott Cole: Louise, please let the CH blog readers know about your new anthology, ‘Duel Visions’ with Misha Burnett.

Louise Sorensen: Collaborating on an anthology was a new experience for me. I did a lot of the editing and proofreading, and there was a lot of back and forth on the cover until we decided on the final one. As the deadlines were pretty close, it was intense. We finished about a month ago. Winter socked in, and I went back to editing other pieces, and revising two fantasy and one scifi short story I’d been working on. I’m looking forward to the publication.

Scott Cole: Misha, has Duel Visions taken up most your time or have you been busy with other projects?

Misha Burnett: Honestly, aside from writing the stories themselves, I probably did the least amount of work in putting the book together. Louise is a very skilled editor and did proofs on all of our stories. She and Alex put the book together, I just said, “Oh, yes, that looks fine” a lot.

So I did a lot of writing. I published eight stories last year; “mDNA” in Superversive’s Planetary Mercury, “Black Dog” (which will also be in Duel Visions) in Sins Of The Gods, “The Happiest Place On Earth” in Superversive’s Planetary Venus, “Dead Man’s Chest” in Millhaven’s Tales Of Terror, “Nox Invictus” in Millhaven’s Fierce Tales: Savage Lands, “An Interrupted Scandal” in Cirsova #10, “Endless Summer” in Utopia Pending, and “Grand Theft: Nightmare” in Lagrange Books’ Ye Olde Magick Shoppe.

I also completed Bad Dreams & Broken Hearts, which I posted on Steemit. I am not entirely happy with that project, nor with the publishing platform. It was a learning experience. I have used the setting that I created for that novel for other stories (“An Interrupted Scandal” and “Grand Theft: Nightmare”.)

If I had to sum up my career since we last spoke, I’d say that I have come to terms with being a short fiction author. It’s taken me a long time to get past my own internal prejudice against short fiction and really embrace that identity.

SC: Louise, how do you feel about short fiction?

LS: I’ve read anthologies since I could pick up a book, so I love short stories. I wasn’t a born writer, I was a visual artist. A painter. A severe ice storm in January 1998 and nine days without electricity left me with a mental block against painting. So I started writing with poetry courses, and then creative writing courses. I followed Chuck Wendig on Twitter, did his flash fiction prompts for two years, and wrote about forty stories. Many of those had a thousand word limit. Along with Twitter’s 140 character limit and a love affair with Elmore Leonard’s books, I learned to be succinct. I had no thought of being published until about five years ago, when I realized that my stories were as good as many that were published. And as a writer, you start to edit everything you read. It takes away some of the enjoyment, but there’s also satisfaction in that improving the clarity of the writing, makes the story better.

I wrote two novels. One I finished and got professionally edited, the other I didn’t finish but could. After that, I had a short story published in an ASMSG Romance anthology. My story was a satirical SciFi romantic parody called Fizzlesnitch. It didn’t really fit the genre, but the editor liked it, and got the humor. So I started submitting stories and had a few published over the last three years. And I discovered that I like writing short stories and I don’t like writing novels.

A short story has to create a convincing world, story line, and believable characters, in few words. It must be polished to a lesser extent than a poem, but a greater extent than a novel. Each word must have a purpose. To me, poems are the jewels of the writing kingdom, novels are the gold bars, and short stories are the pearls.

I realize that some people think short stories aren’t real writing, but they were the foundation for episodes of the Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, and more recently the TV series Electric Dreams, based on Phillip K. Dick’s short stories.

And Alice Munro, the renowned Canadian short-story writer, won the 2013 Nobel Prize for Literature.

You can’t get more legitimate than that.

SC: Misha, what was your internal prejudice against short fiction?

MB: The idea that short fiction is just practice for writing novels. That it’s not serious writing. I think that attitude is very prevalent in the publishing world today. It’s certainly true that it is much harder to make money writing short fiction. Writers today have a lot of pressure to produce novels, particularly long novels that are part of multi-volume epics.

And I think that’s a shame. There are writers today who are capable of producing phenomenal short fiction who are writing novels instead. William Gibson, for example–as much I enjoyed Neuromancer, I think it lacks the punch of “The Winter Market” or “Fragments Of A Hologram Rose” or “New Rose Hotel”. He himself said as much in the introduction to his collection Burning Chrome. Clive Barker is another author who I felt took a step backwards in switching from short stories to novels. I love Imagica and Weaveworld, but they don’t have the rawness and vitality of, say, “The Body Politic” or “In The Hills, The Cities” or “The Last Illusion”.

And then you have Orson Scott Card, who has essentially made a career out of expanding great short stories into mediocre novels. I always tell people who like the novel of Ender’s Game that they should read the original short story–in fact, get a copy of his first collection, Unaccompanied Sonata, if you can find it.

SC: Misha, do you have basic rules of thumb as to what makes good long or short fiction?

MB: I’d paraphrase Fight Club’s rule #7–stories go on as long as they have to. The second hardest part of writing fiction is saying what you need to say. The hardest part of writing fiction is knowing when you’ve said it and then shutting up. We’re writers because we love prose, we love the sound of our voice. It’s a necessary part of being a writer, but it’s also a critical weakness and the good writers see it as a weakness. Everyone likes to talk about writer’s block, and, sure, it’s tough when you can’t find the right words, but a bigger problem is filling the page with wrong words because you think that producing verbiage is the same thing as producing story.

A good novel is a good story that takes a novel to tell. Sadly, a lot of authors have a short story idea, but think that if they want to be a “real writer” they have to pad it out to novel length.

SC: Louise, what are your personal guidelines to writing a good story?

LS: The story is as long as it has to be until it’s over. Then you’ve reached the end. I don’t worry about word count, unless there’s a limit in submission requirements. And that’s also the reason I haven’t published as much as I might, because if your story doesn’t fit an arbitrary submission word count, and you have to pad it to extend it, or carve it to reduce it, it won’t be as good as it should have. I write and edit mercilessly. That is, I aim to be honest and write the story, the whole story, and nothing but the story. So help me Heinlein.

Unlike Misha and many other writers, I don’t love prose, or the written word. I don’t like long descriptions. The story is what stirs me. When I read, I’m analyzing the writing as I go along, but with the best stories, I’m drawn so deeply in that I don’t notice the writing. Misha’s stories are pithy and succinct. He doesn’t let the prose get in his way.

For me, the story is the thing. Every word in the piece must be the foundation for and support the story.

SC: Misha, you mention authors that were excellent short fiction writers but had less than stellar results when transitioning to long fiction. Do you think there are stylistic or even temperamental differences that make an author excel in one or other length of stories?

MB: Yes.

Do I know what those differences are? Not so much. For my own part, if I just write the story until it is done, without worrying about word count, I tend to end up around 7500 words. I find it very difficult to keep a story–any story–under 5000 words (which is a pity, because there are markets that have an upper limit of 5k for submissions) and over 10,000 words I start losing focus and am just rambling.

Why this is, I’m not sure. Maybe I just have a short attention span compared to novelists.

SC: Louise, how do you feel about that?

LS: Stylistic or temperamental differences in writers who transition from short stories to novels … I think there must be. I definitely like to get in, tell the story, and get out. One of the authors I can think of who does both lengths well is Stephen King. Another is Heinlein.

But I’ve read many novels that were extremely padded. One novel that stands out in memory, spent the first six hundred pages describing the architecture of Atlanta, Georgia. Although the writing was beautiful and well edited, I kept waiting for something to happen. As I did in those days, I kept reading to find out the merit of the book. The writer finally got around to the action of the story in about the final hundred pages. It was basically a short story tacked onto the end of a long historical travelogue. I wondered how it ever got published. It was even made into a movie. Although I’ve never seen it, I suspect it was based on the short story, and not the architecture.

So I believe that not every can author do it.

SC: Misha. Do you know any authors that mastered both formats?

MB: The first name that comes to mind is Larry Niven. He seems to be able to operate at two different speeds. His short fiction has a different voice than his novels–they have a minimum of description and are usually based around one single, easy to formulate, premise. A lot of them are also very funny. For novels, Niven seems to be able to drop into a lower gear and spend more time fleshing out the world and the characters.

Roger Zelazny is another one. You can see that clearly in My Name Is Legion. The first two sections were written as short stories, while the third, “Home Is The Hangman”, is clearly written as the last half of a novel. It works, the stories hang together and the narrator is consistent, but there is a definite shift in voice.

But then, Zelazny was an experimental formalist and enjoyed playing with the structure of prose for its own sake. (cf Doorways In The Sand, which has the unique (so far as I know) structure of beginning each chapter with a cliffhanger and then going back to explain how the character got into that position. It’s done so skillfully that it takes several chapters for the reader to catch on to the game.) I expect he understood the nuts and bolts of fiction better than anyone else working in the English language. I still mourn his loss.

SC: Misha, when we last spoke, we discussed New Wave fiction (focused character psychology with an emphasis of poetic language over scientific accuracy). Has your writing continued along that path?

MB: I call my work New Wave. I’m not sure what other people would call it. From my perspective my work follows a clear trajectory. I’m getting better at doing the stuff that I like and learning how to cut out the parts that I don’t like.

But I would say that my understanding of what “New Wave” means–at least in terms of my own work–has undergone some changes since last we discussed it. Recently I watched The Departed by Martin Scorsese and was struck all over again by what a brilliant visual storyteller the man is. His films are a series of shots that flow from one to the next and you almost don’t need the dialogue–it’s the images that drive the story.

Directors who really understand the art of film–and I’d add John Carpenter, John Sayles, Hitchcock (of course), Brian DePalma, just to name a few–know how to operate the visual grammar of the medium. Picture, picture, picture, (now everybody’s dead) final picture, closing credits.

Filmmaking is telling a story with pictures. So what is fiction, telling a story with words? Not at all. The word is not the unit of narration in the sense that the shot is the unit of narration in a film. Individual words are like individual frames in a film–if you notice they are there something’s wrong with the mechanism.

Fiction is telling a story with concepts. Ideas. Images, not in the visual sense, but in the emotional sense. It’s a unique art form because what matters is what you can’t see or hear or touch.

The hero of Dune is the ideal of ecology as an existential science–you can only understand an ecology by becoming part of the ecology. The death of Liet-Kynes in the desert is the culmination of his life’s work–he has become the desert.

The hero of Starship Troopers is the ideal of courage. Johnny Rico is the conduit by which courage, as an abstract, becomes concrete, the voice with which it speaks. The paragraph that opens the novel (“I always get the shakes before a drop…”) is courage coming up and introducing itself to the reader.

I could speak in terms of “conceit” or “theme”, but I think I mean hero. Fiction is the arena in which ideas battle it out. This can be done badly (Ayn Rand, I’m looking at you now) and fiction becomes polemic. But I think it’s always there, just by virtue of the medium of language and the human animal’s multivalent use of it.

If I say, for example, “Sherlock Holmes vs. James Bond” the phrase suggests a clash of methodologies, of philosophical approaches to a problem. The difference in the biographical details of the characters is irrelevant. You could set that story in a milieu alien to both of them, say, 13th Century Rome, and give them both new names. Make Bond a soldier of Frederick II and Holmes a priest of Gregory IX, and make them be forced to work together to find the poisoner of a bishop.

One could write that story with no reference to the original characters, but readers would still think, “Oh, this is Sherlock Holmes vs James Bond” (if one did her or his work well). Because those characters are ideals, not individuals.

I’ve gotten rather far afield from your original question, which was I am still working in New Wave. Yes. However, I also find myself drawn to a simplification of story, a paring down to the essentials. What does the reader absolutely need to know in order for the story to work?

And that streamlining of fiction is antithetical to the spirit of some of the classics of New Wave. Books like VALIS, Dhalgren, Gravity’s Rainbow, Infinite Jest, are ox-stunning bricks of words. Beautiful words, no doubt about it, but they are like driving across New Mexico. The scenery is magnificent, but basically there is nothing there.

I want my stories to be more like running down to Home Depot to get a replacement faucet before your bathtub overflows and floods the basement. In, out, this is what I need to get the job done, and get your ass back home. Scenery is reduced to things you need to drive around and stuff you can ram right through.

SC: Louise, what’s your take on this?

LS: Hmm. Scott, you define New Wave as ‘Focused character psychology with an emphasis of poetic language over scientific accuracy.’ I googled it, and found it was a literary movement in the 1960s and 1970s, that rejected the simplistic action-adventure of the earlier ’Golden Age’ of SciFi and Fantasy, in favour of more literary and experimental forms, with more emphasis on writing and creativity, and less on hard science and plot. Misha’s comment that some of the stories are ‘ox-stunning bricks of words’ is a good description of some of the experimental works. I never liked Silverberg’s writing. Too much experimental, too little story.

I don’t know that my writing is New Wave. I’d call it Weird. Surreal. I like to think I write like Heinlein, in that I always tell a story. I don’t experiment, unless it’s to follow the rabbit down the rabbit hole. In my SciFi, I stick to hard science. I always have a logical rational backstory for whatever happens, but I don’t always explain it. In my Fantasy, I allow the fantastic, but there must be some logical explanation behind it; another dimension, a parallel universe, different laws of physics.

Like a filmmaker, because my storytelling is visually based, not word based, I tell the story in pictures. I go in knowing the bones of the story, picture the scene in my mind, and write it down to the best of my ability. I don’t try to be poetic. But sometimes I am. As I started out writing poetry, sometimes a line of poetry will pop into my head as I’m writing a scene, and I’ll include that.

SC: Misha. Please tell readers what to expect with Duel Visions.

MB: It’s a collaborative anthology, with five stories each from myself and five from Louise. Off the top of my head I can’t think of any examples of similar anthologies. Generally you either have every story by a different author, or all of them by one author.

So the feel of this book is a bit unusual. We also alternate stories, one from me, one from Louise, which involves some shifting of mental gears as you move from one to the next. That’s a risk, but I think it pays off.

We have different styles and I think (I hope) the cumulative effect is like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups–two great tastes that taste great together.

As for the stories themselves, I think Weird Fiction is probably the best description. There are some Science Fiction elements–genetic engineering in Louise’s “Sinker, Sailor”, time travel and alternate history in my “The Summer Of Love”. Other stories have traditional fantasy elements–sidhe, magic statues, and figures from different classical mythologies.

I explore one of my favorite urban legends in “We Pass From View” and Louise has a modern take on the vampire legend.

So in terms of genre we’re all over the board. My favorite story in the book, Louise’s “The Green Truck” simply resists classification altogether. I don’t know how to describe it, you just have to read it for yourself.

Despite all this–or perhaps because of it–there is an overall theme to the collection that I suppose could be summed with J. B. S. Haldane’s remark, “Now, my own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.”

SC: Louise?

LS: I love Misha’s quote of Haldane!

What can readers expect with Duel Visions?

I was very surprised when I noticed on the second proofreading of the whole work that Misha and I had written stories with similar themes. What was most surprising was that I had been over all the stories many many times with editing and never noticed the similarities before. So although our stories are very different, his anchored in dirt and dust and reality, mine in weird and what? and unbelievable, we are both curious about the same things. It’s almost as though we explore these ideas in different mediums.

I found out yesterday the Misha is working on a story about alien invasion. I am too! Synchronicity? Quantum Entanglement? You can be sure that my take will be much different than Misha’s.

So readers can expect thoughtful, interesting stories crafted mercilessly with love and blood.

SC: Misha. How did the collaborative concept with Louise come about?

MB: Impatience, mostly.

About a year ago I started considering publishing a collection of short fiction. I had a few stories that I had previously published that I wanted to present for a wider audience, and a couple that I’d written for anthologies that hadn’t panned out.

The problem was that I didn’t have enough stories for a full book. So I wanted to find another author to do a collection with.

I had worked with Louise on my 21st Century Pulp anthology (one of the ones that didn’t pan out–our publisher backed out) and I was very impressed with her story “Ragged Angels”. So I asked her if she had any more like that one, and it turned out she did.

Once we started passing stories back and forth the collection kind of took off. It kind of surprised me how the stories and our voices played off each other. And even though we didn’t plan it that way, there are some strong parallels between some of the stories. We each have one that deals with the transformation of a human into an animal, for example, and we each have one in which Death is personified in animal form.

Louise came up with the title Duel Visions, and I thought it was perfect. It’s kind of like Dueling Banjos, but with stories. Not so much fighting as presenting different variations on a theme.

SC: Louise? What did you think when Misha approached you about the collaboration?

LS: I was delighted!

I’ve admired Misha’s talent since I read his series ‘The Book of Doors.’ I looked him up on Twitter and followed him, then followed him on Facebook, and read every story of his I could find. They’re brilliant. One of my favourite stories of his is, ‘The Happiest Place on Earth.’ Another is ‘In the Gloaming O My Darling.’ He’s one of my favourite writers, along with Heinlein, Phillip K. Dick, and Elmore Leonard. Never disappointed.

I hope that readers see this too and are happy with ‘Duel Visions.’

Duel Visions published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

0 notes