#i think george is a mechanical engineer and sapnap is a professional gamer

[dwtolos]

"I have good news and bad news," Puffy announces as soon as she has everyone's attention by stomping her foot loudly like a military officer. She is the only one in this group who has any kind of gravitas. Dream is endlessly amazed by it.

"What is it?" Bad asks, still lounging on his director's chair with Rat sitting on his lap. "Oooh, start with the bad news." He grins wide. "Get it? Bad news? Like my name?"

"Oh my god, shut the fuck up," Sapnap groans from where he is under a table. Dream is pretty sure he's still hung over from the viewing party yesterday.

"I'm starting with the good news," Puffy decides, probably just to be contrary. "Cribling Rivalry has been trending for 24 hours."

The title of their show is so cringe-worthy that it almost cycles back to being good. Dream kinda loves it a lot. He whoops out loud and laughs when he hears an echoing shout from another table. Is George also under one of these tables? Why can't they be hung over on top of the tables? Dream doesn't understand celebrities.

As if hearing Dream's thoughts, George crawls from under a table then throws himself atop it, sitting cross-legged and turning towards Puffy.

"And the bad news?"

"We're trending because Dream went viral."

Dream stares at her in confusion. How is he going viral? He's a cameraman. George and Sapnap are the hosts of the show, and Gia and Sylveey are their assistants. They are beautiful people with plenty of snark. If there's anyone who should go viral, it's them.

Sure, Dream had a moment in the premiere when he helped George figure out that the big sister liked Hans Christian Andersen more than the classic Disney Princess her parents showered her with, but it was one scene in a whole forty-five minutes show. It was barely five minutes. Definitely nothing special enough to be talked about by millions of people.

"Ah," George says, nodding his head and slow clapping as if he saw this coming. "Do they think his voice is hot?"

"They do," Puffy answers gravely.

"Called it!" Sapnap says, still from under the table.

"What?! What!" Dream looks around but no one else seems surprised by the announcement. "Seriously, what."

"I told them to tell you." Sapnap finally emerges from his spot and walks over to Dream's side. He puts an arm around Dream's shoulder in what seems to be a gesture of comfort. "Dude, you've been a hit in every shoot. Like, I think half the parents fell in love with you. No cap."

George scrunches up his face in disgust, then shrugs in agreement. "The kids liked you too." He pauses, then adds, "Didn't you sign a second contract so they can add your comments to the show?"

He did. He has a different salary for his 'guest appearances'. He thought it was just because George always asks for his opinion and editing his comments out was too difficult. He didn't think it was a big deal.

"But... I never even show up."

"It makes you mysterious!" Sapnap says, shaking him a bit.

"You're an enigma," George agrees, overpronouncing the word in his British ways. Dream thinks it is the cutest thing ever, and should be the one people are talking about. Why aren't they talking about George's face and his accent? The internet is so disappointing.

"You should ask for a raise," Sapnap whispers. "Or a bonus. You should ask for a lot of money and then we can move to a swanky place."

"Baaaad," George shouts, "Sapnap is feeding Dream evil thoughts! You should kick him out of the show."

"Fuck you," Sapnap shoots back. "I brought Dream in. You should be kicked out."

"Literally you didn't. Li-che-rally. Bad gave birth to Dream, actually."

"Stupid fuck, Dream is MY best friend and roommate and you're just jealous he's the one going viral."

George sticks out his tongue. "Stuuuupid. WE are going viral. I'm the only one who has scenes with Dream."

Sapnap gasps. "Was this your plan, huh?! You were using Dream! Bad, he's using Dream! You should kick HIM out of the show."

"Okay, no one is getting kicked out of the show," Dream says, getting in between the two. "Everyone calm down and celebrate that your show is trending."

"Our show is trending," Bad announces, standing up and clapping his hands to get everyone's attention. "Skeppy said he's treating us to steak tonight!" On his way to the exit, he passes Dream's side and pats him on the back once. "Nice job as always, Dreamie. Keep up the good work."

Dream has no idea what he even did. He should really make a twitter account.