#i think gaylors are making fun of him AND taylor which is funny but honestly they CAN make fun of him. like why are you scared of gay?
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aquarri · 1 year ago
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bisluthq · 4 years ago
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SS Tily does not lay claim to Lover; a thesis
I thought this would take me longer but y’all, I’m done with Part 2 of my Gaylor analyses. Unfortunately this chapter brings bad news for Tily nation. I honestly don’t think many of the songs on Lover are about that relationship. But I also think it’s not as simple as the mainstream Kaylor narrative would have us believe. Let’s dive into this, shall we? 
First things first. I think it’s worth noting that many of the songs on this album are not about romantic relationships at all. Like it’s a bit of a marketing ploy to portray it as an album primarily about romantic love when so many songs explicitly aren’t about that feeling. In fact, there are more themes on Lover than on any of her earlier stuff - it’s something she expands on in folklore. 
I Forgot That You Existed, The Man, The Archer (which I firmly believe is about her debating coming out), Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince (very obviously about the political situation generally and supported by the doccie title), London Boy, Soon You’ll Get Better, YNTCD, and ME! are all about explicitly different themes. Obviously there are a couple references within those (like ME! has that line about “I never leave well enough alone” which reappears on the 1, and The Archer mentions someone “staying” but I still think ME! is about self-love not romantic love and The Archer is about personal anxiety around identity). Fundamentally, they are not love songs.
I don’t think that’s really up for debate. The only one I can see anyone - say Toes or like hardcore Tily fans - debating is London Boy. Unfortunately for my Tily babes, I do think it’s satire that serves as a homage to Joe and the other British beards, and possibly riffs a teeny bit on her time with Lily. Contrary to some gold medalists in Kaylor mental gymnastics, I fully believe Tay does make reference to Joe in her lyrics (I’ve mentioned the fictional verse for Dress and the reference to “keeping him” in Ready for It). This really doesn’t have any of the hallmarks of Tily songs off of Rep. The British references in CIWYW, KOMH and Delicate are subtle and chilled and actually quite cute. London Boy is an onslaught of non-sequiturs about London, the UK and her beards. Also “stories from uni” fits both Joe and Tom H, but it doesn’t fit Lily who never went to university. All her Lily songs are about hiding out in private; London Boy is all about galavanting around town with “his” friends (Lily and Tay had the same friends though?) It’s simply not about the same person or the same relationship. 
I do think there’s a chance it could be poking fun (lightly) at Lily/that period she spent in London because as I’ve already said I think Tay is not above shading ex-girlfriends and it seems like the kind of thing Karlie would’ve also found a bit funny. I think when she got back together with Karlie - which almost definitely happened - she would’ve 100% laughed about the “say you fancy me not fancy stuff” era. That would explain the recurrence of both Motown and queen imagery, which first appeared on KOMH. But where KOMH felt very genuine and authentic, this one is obviously meant to be funny. 
Right. So. Now that we’ve established 8 songs are about other themes, let’s get the Kaylor songs sorted: Cruel Summer, Cornelia Street, DBATC, False God and Daylight are all undeniably about Karlie fucking Kloss. They all feature the images and tropes and hallmarks that pepper Karlie songs. They all have the same kinds of emotions. And they paint a pretty sad, troubling and complex picture. 
Cruel Summer comes first and seems to mostly be about their first breakup, which she first referred to on DWOHT. We have Tay once again begging Karlie to stay and work it out and not being certain for sure about her feelings.  
We say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times
We're not trying (Oh yeah, you're right, I want it)
I mean that’s super sad. Tay’s saying they discussed how they’ll fuck it all up, and she’s feeling like they’re not even trying to fix things. You also have that “I want it” which is interesting considering the “we” that preceded it. “We’re” not trying because only “I want it”. Ouch. 
Killing me slow, out the window
I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below
Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes
What doesn't kill me makes me want you more
And it's new, the shape of your body
It's blue, the feeling I've got
And it's ooh, whoa oh
It's a cruel summer
It's cool, that's what I tell 'em
No rules in breakable heaven
But ooh, whoa oh
It's a cruel summer
With you
Here we have “I’m always waiting for you” which yet again suggests Tay is the one who’s more invested. Then we have the shape of “your” body (which is a familiar concept from Dress), but the feeling it gives her here is blue here not gold - maybe that’s why the shape is new? In the past Karlie’s body made her feel golden but now it’s a bluer, sadder feeling. Blue starts recurring more frequently on these late era Kaylor songs. There’s a possible alternate reading, which is blue = Swiftgron (“my love had been frozen deep blue”). It’s a nice theory but it just doesn’t gel with the garden gate below. Also, while both relationships seem to have been colored by commitment issues, the premise of unrequitedness doesn’t really feature on the songs about Di. She asks Di to stay, tells her she’s thinking of her, and they’re “too in love to think straight” but Tay never says Karlie loves her back. Ever. It’s never expressly mutual. 
I'm drunk in the back of the car
And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (Oh)
Said, "I'm fine," but it wasn't true
I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you
And I snuck in through the garden gate
Every night that summer just to seal my fate (Oh)
And I scream, "For whatever it's worth
I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"
He looks up, grinning like a devil
Look at that fourth line. It perfectly fits with the Kaylor narrative on Rep and it doesn’t fit the Tily songs at all. She wanted to keep that second relationship private and secret and hidden. And here she’s saying “I don’t want to keep secrets” - this is take two of “I don’t want you like a best friend”. Also the “for whatever it’s worth” reminds me of “here’s the truth” from End Game. It’s the kind of thing you’d say in the midst of a fight. 
Then we have her screaming “I love you” and receiving no reply as usual beyond a devilish grin. The more I do these analyses the less I understand how or why Kaylor gets romanticized in the way it does, while Swiftgron gets bashed for toxicity. Like my girl Tay has a thing for chaotic lesbians with commitment issues and Kaylor seems like it was WILD. 
Back to the lyrics, this time let’s look at Kaylor anthem Cornelia Street:
We were in the backseat
Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar
"I rent a place on Cornelia Street"
I say casually in the car
We were a fresh page on the desk
Filling in the blanks as we go
As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead
Leading us home
I find this whole song really interesting because it features one of Tay’s favorite ideas - glamorizing normal people things. It’s like the time with the “motel bar” in Getaway Car. Like she 100% was thrilled to be able to say “I’m renting this apartment” - never mind that it’s basically a whole ass house. I actually think the above verse is really beautiful. I know I give Kaylor a lot of shit but obviously there were beautiful moments and Tay had/has plenty of good memories. 
And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name
And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
I mean frankly this verse above is super insecure in the standard Kaylor way. Tay’s saying she’s terrified of Karlie walking away and that she “hopes” she never loses her. The tone is sad, forlorn and a little desperate. I also think it’s interesting that she says she’d never walk Cornelia Street again, and that the city screams Karlie’s name and then on hoax she goes ahead and says she left a part of herself back in New York. It’s almost like her fears and anxieties did prove justified. Poor baby. 
Windows flung right open, autumn air
Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours
We bless the rains on Cornelia Street
Memorize the creaks in the floor
Back when we were card sharks, playing games
I thought you were leading me on
I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street
Before you even knew I was gone
But then you called, showed your hand
I turned around before I hit the tunnel
Sat on the roof, you and I
Those first four lines seem to be about the good again, and I’m happy for them. I really do think they had good times. Those four lines make me think of parts of YAIL and the toast and weekends and stuff. 
The rest of this verse though seems to be about the first split and subsequent reunion. “I thought you were leading me on” she says, and I “left Cornelia Street” presumably to go to London. But then Karlie called her back, “showed her hand” and Tay “turned around” before she reached the point of no return and they worked it out. “Sat on the roof, you and I” is similar in content to “up on the roof with a schoolgirl crush” but very different in tone. She’s not peppy here, she’s not positive. It’s a little bit tortured - and then it continues with “hoping it never ends”. The reappearance of the Tily imagery on Kaylor 2.0 songs makes sense to me, again, because discussing exes in the same social circle as you is just blatant lesbian culture. It makes complete sense that these two women are on Taylor’s mind. She has really really deep feelings for Karlie but she enjoyed the more simple and straightforward relationship she had with Lily. 
DBATC is the Kaylor 1.0 breakup anthem:
Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts
Flashbacks waking me up
I get drunk, but it's not enough
'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby
I look through the windows of this love
Even though we boarded them up
Chandelier's still flickering here
'Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not
It's death by a thousand cuts
We have her getting drunk to forget, trying to say “I’m fine” when it’s not true, and just generally missing Karlie. 
I dress to kill my time, I take the long way home
I mean, this is Cornelia Street (“never walk here again”) and Dress all over again. It’s the two ideas from before but now on the other side, because they’re actually broken up. 
And what once was ours is no one's now
I see you everywhere, the only thing we share
Is this small town
You said it was a great love, one for the ages
But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?
“I see you everywhere” is very “this city screams your name” and I think “small town” is a metaphor for their social circle. The last two lines are just Tay being hung up on Karlie. She was writing pages in Cornelia Street as well, so this whole idea of telling a story with Karlie is another recurrent image. 
My heart, my hips, my body, my love
Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch
Gave up on me like I was a bad drug
Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club
Our songs, our films, united, we stand
Our country, guess it was a lawless land
Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand
Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans
My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust
Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up
Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough
But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts
I mean this is the usual obsession, desperation and general pining Tay has for Karlie. We also have Karlie touching her briefly, which is something she has spoken about before and is really into. Paper-thin plans is probably about the plans to make it work? We have that image reparations later in hoax so I think it’s most likely about Karlie bailing on Tay’s PR game and doing her own thing and/or Karlie’s (accidental?) involvement in the masters heist. 
Also, this whole song is very sad but it’s not on the level of desperation I would expect if Tay wasn’t rebounding hard and if they didn’t reunite. She’s pretty sad about how the whole thing went down but she does say she’ll “be alright” which is the opposite of “that’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend”. I think she wrote this after the first breakup and Cornelia Street came later, after they were back together. That’s when she really went all in into this relationship. It still wasn’t enough. 
False God is about their reunion:
We were crazy to think
Crazy to think that this could work
Remember how I said I'd die for you?
We were stupid to jump
In the ocean separating us
Remember how I'd fly to you?
We know Tay ran away to Europe after the mess of 2016 and here she jumps into the ocean separating them and flies back to Karlie. The idea of it being “crazy” that it could work is also a recurrent fear/anxiety she has with regards to Karlie. “I had a bad feeling,” remember?
And I can't talk to you when you're like this
Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town
I'm New York City, I still do it for you, babe
They all warned us about times like this
They say the road gets hard and you get lost
When you're led by blind faith, blind faith
They’re figuring things out, and Tay is New York - Karlie’s favorite city. “I still do it for you” is an admission of affection, which rarely happens in Kaylor songs, but it’s so sexual that I don’t find it shocking or out of character. 
But we might just get away with it
Religion's in your lips
Even if it's a false god
We'd still worship
We might just get away with it
The altar is my hips
Even if it's a false god
We'd still worship this love
I mean sex songs are just peak Kaylor and this is all just so so so gay and I don’t understand how hets can make it make srnse. “We might just get away with it” is the usual Kaylor anxiety by the way. 
I know heaven's a thing
I go there when you touch me, honey
Hell is when I fight with you
But we can patch it up good
Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness
Got the wine for you
And you can't talk to me when I'm like this
Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you
You're the West Village
You still do it for me, babe
They all warned us about times like this
They say the road gets hard and you get lost
When you're led by blind faith, blind faith
Standard Kaylor imagery with sensual touching, wine and New York and a direct reference to Karlie’s apartment. I think “make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness” appears to refer to the reunion. 
Daylight is a very beautiful love song for Karlie. The “golden”, the bodies intertwining, New York, and the depth of her emotions all fit the Kaylor story and narrative. I think she wrote this when they were back together. It’s also, as is common with the Kaylor songs, squarely from Tay’s perspective. She wrote it alone, and I think specifically for Karlie when they reunited. Very pretty, very nice. I mean they ended up breaking up and that was bound to happen in like every other song but when they were good Tay did create some gems and they were very happy. I love this song and I do like aspects of Kaylor’s time together. 
Now we get onto the songs that don’t neatly fit Kaylor. 
Afterglow could be a Kaylor song. But it could also be about the breakup with her rebound. It’s not only by Tay, so we’re looking for broad themes rather than specifics necessarily. 
Hey, it's all me, in my head
I'm the one who burned us down
But it's not what I meant
Sorry that I hurt you
I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)
I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)
I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go
Meet me in the afterglow
I don’t know that this sounds like the Kaylor breakup we heard about. It’s a different premise to False God, DBATC and Cornelia Street. In all of those songs it was a mutual breakup/misunderstanding. “I can’t talk to you” and then “you can’t talk to me” in False God is a two-way communication issue. DBATC goes off at Karlie for taking up every part of her and “giving up on me”. Cornelia Street said Tay thought Karlie was “leading her on” but that was resolved. Then Afterglow goes and lays all the blame on Tay. 
I lived like an island, punished you with silence
Went off like sirens, just crying
Why'd I have to break what I love so much?
It's on your face, don't walk away, I need to say
Hey, it's all me, in my head
I'm the one who burned us down
I mean this really does sound like it’s Tay fucking up badly. Not wanting to let the other person in, taking it out on them, hurting her lover. 
It's so excruciating to see you low
Just wanna lift you up and not let you go
This ultraviolet morning light below
Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh
This really doesn’t sound like the Kaylor fear and stress. It sounds like the cerebral and emotional connection from Rep. “It’s so excruciating to see you low” seems tied up with the heart to hearts and conversations she was having in those secondary songs on Rep. 
Tell me that you're still mine
Tell me that we'll be just fine
Even when I lose my mind
I need to say
Tell me that it's not my fault
Tell me that I'm all you want
Even when I break your heart
I need to say
This just seems like a very different plan for fixing things than the one outlined in the Kaylor songs (which is “let’s bone”). Also “I break your heart” is an anxiety that seems to parallel the burgeoning love in Delicate, KOMH and CIWYW. It doesn’t seem like a Kaylor fear because Tay is always the one who wants Karlie more. I believe this is mostly a Tily breakup song. 
Then we get the three happy songs on the album: Lover, I Think He Knows and Paper Rings. It’s actually pretty intense that there are only three peppy, romantic songs on an album largely touted by Gaylors and Hetlors alike as being about a happy long term relationship. 
You want my controversial explanation for these songs? They’re fictional. All three are extremely vague and lacking in any of the Karlie/other person imagery. They’re like New Year’s Day and some of the early stuff. 
I Think He Knows is a very hetro song. It physically pains me to say that, it really does, but nothing about it seems gay to me. I guess “boyish look” is something you could say about some women but that’s really a reach. Also it’s just very much not a relatable lesbian emotion. I’ve never met a queer woman being like “yeah I think she KNOWS, you know?” about her girlfriend. “She’s so obsessed with me and boy I understand” would make no sense. Us sapphics are compulsive overthinkers. And that’s what comes across on all her songs about Karlie and about Di and even those Tily songs from Rep. That’s largely why Tay’s stuff is so damn gay. 
Tay’s permanently anxious - even on her love songs, there’s a thread of anxiety running through it all. This song is missing any of that anxiety. This song also has so, so many male pronouns…. And “I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans” is an objectively weird thing to say about a relationship. It just doesn’t strike me as sapphic, and it definitely doesn’t strike me as being about Karlie lr Lily or Di. Also Nashville is 16th Avenue and I don’t know why any of the women would be associated with Nashville.
That Nashville reference makes me think that maybe the song is inspired by the music industry generally? If you go look at 16th Avenue by Lacy J. Dalton, there’s a clear narrative about the music industry. I think it’s possible that Tay’s song is referencing the love she feels for and from the music industry and her fans. That would tie into the architectural plans, being 17 (she often speaks about being stuck at that age because it’s when she got famous), and “he’s so obsessed with me” makes sense when you’re AOTD. Even the “attitude” line makes sense in this interpretation. 
This bit:
Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh
We can follow the sparks, I'll drive
Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh
We can follow the sparks, I'll drive
"So where we gonna go?"
I whisper in the dark
"Where we gonna go?"
I think he knows
Is a little harder to make sense of and seems like it could maybe be about Lily or at least inspired by her - there’s the car/driving theme from the secondary Rep relationship and Lily does have indigo eyes (they’re way bluer than Joe’s). So maybe she used images and diaries from that period to add to the story about Nashville? But overall this smugness just doesn’t strike me as very gay and in general the song doesn’t seem to be about any one woman in her history. Also “better lock it down or I won’t stick around” is so very hetro and like… untortured. 
Paper Rings is not about Karlie but I also don’t think it’s about Lily. 
The moon is high
Like your friends were the night that we first met
Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet
Now I've read all of the books beside your bed
The wine is cold
Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street
Cat and mouse for a month or two or three
Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe
This is not about Karlie. We’ve heard repeatedly that they fell in love at first sight so “month or two or three” is kinda wild? Like they full on U-Hauled it with the Big Sur trip and Tay moving to New York and Karlie basically moving into her apartment. They were never cat and mouse? Also Karlie was a supermodel by the time they met one another so “trying to stalk you on the internet” seems a bit of an odd way to phrase it. There would’ve been plenty to find. They both had big reputations. Moreover, they had multiple mutual friends so “your friends” is also an odd turn of phrase. How does this verse fit any aspect of the Kaylor love story? 
In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool
When you jumped in first, I went in too
I'm with you even if it makes me blue
Which takes me back
To the color that we painted your brother's wall
Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws
We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so
This is also very not Kaylor lol except for the tall part. The chilled out hanging out and swimming and wall painting sounds more like the songs about Tily on Rep. 
I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings
Uh huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want, and
I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this
Uh huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want
In paper rings in picture frames in dirty dreams
Oh, you're the one I want
This seems like it could be Tily because of the “we went from friends to this” (Kaylor were never friends, and had no intention of being friends, they’ve literally only ever dated). But I’m not sure Tay ever wanted to marry Lily? That’s not what comes across in the other Tily songs. 
I want to drive away with you
I want your complications too
I want your dreary Mondays
Wrap your arms around me, baby boy
The driving and the chilledness is similar to the Tily songs but I’m still not sold. It really doesn’t feel particularly authentic. 
Also, I know I mostly do lyric analysis but I’d like to include this quote from Tay about the song: “This song talks about true love, and if you really find true love, you probably don't really care what the symbolism of that love is. Material things wouldn't matter to you anymore if you found someone that you just wanted to live your life with.” The quote is distinctly hypothetical. “You probably don’t really care” “wouldn’t” “if you found”....
My gut says this is based around positive romantic relationships she has had but is extrapolated to a rosy conclusion. One day, Tay’s gonna want to marry someone with paper rings. But for now it’s a fictional hypothetical. None of the details fit any of her relationships. It’s made up. That’s why it includes the “baby boy” line... because it’s fiction. 
And now for the really hot take… Lover is equally made up, although she was - again - inspired by her real relationships. 
We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January
This is our place, we make the rules
And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear
Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?
This is continuing the themes from New Year’s Day which always strikes me as a “what if” rather than an actual ode to one of the muses. That final line seems like it could be about Karlie but the absolute calmness with which she sings makes it seem like it’s not about her. The mysterious way is also a brand new image and considering how much she sings about Karlie you would’ve thought we’d have had that image at least once before?
Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out and take me home
You're my, my, my, my
Lover
I mean this doesn’t sound like Kaylor. Part of the anxiety there is always about going places together and being seen. It does have bits that seem like Tily to me; “take me out and take me home” kind of reminds me of the “meet me in the back” and “can we always be this close” seems similar to “is it chill that you’re in my head?” 
We could let our friends crash in the living room
This is our place, we make the call
And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you
I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all
The first three lines could be about either Karlie or Lily although I don’t know if Tily had “their place”. Kaylor definitely did. 
That last line… is kinda why I think this is mostly fiction. I mean we know it doesn’t make sense for Toe. We know that. And I know about the gymnastics to fit it as a Kaylor song. But the thing is, even if she wrote it around the time that they went away to Wyoming, why wouldn’t she update it when recording it? It literally doesn’t fit the Toe timeline so it can’t be that she wanted it for that. She could’ve made it vague. But no she says “three summers”. Where else have we heard about “three summers”?
September saw a month of tears
And thankin' God that you weren't here
To see me like that
But in a box beneath my bed
Is a letter that you never read
From three summers back
It's hard not to find it all a little bitter sweet
That’s from Tim McGraw. 
She just likes that image. It recurs. It’s not about Karlie, and it’s not about Lily, and it’s obviously not about Joe. It’s just a pretty turn of phrase. She loves counting in summers and Cruel Summers and the summer in Betty/august…. It’s not something she associates with one person. 
Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?
With every guitar string scar on my hand
I take this magnetic force of a man to be my
Lover
My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue
All's well that ends well to end up with you
Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my
Lover
This whole wedding bit doesn’t make sense for either Kaylor or Tily or Swiftgron. Like she’s constantly questioning Karlie’s commitment to her. And you want me to believe she’s singing vows? Lol no. 
And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me
And at every table, I'll save you a seat
Lover
Very cute. Very non-specific. Not about any one partner. 
So this supposed ode/serenade to Karlie doesn’t feature any of the images associated with her and doesn’t include any details that actively fit their relationship arc as described elsewhere except for jealousy and possibly love at first sight. 
These three peppy love songs - which make up the minority of songs on the album - are about Taylor’s manifestations for the future. ITHK could be about the industry more generally. The other two are describing what she wants and what she pictures as ideal for a relationship. 
So conclusions: a large chunk of the songs on Lover aren’t about romance. Many, many are about Karlie. Afterglow could be about Lily and some of the regrets Tay had about the split. Paper Rings, I Think He Knows and Lover aren’t about anyone in particular. 
Last thought: I agree that It’s Nice To Have a Friend is about lesbians generally. But also possibly about Karlie, in which case the final verse is Karlie choosing the marriage with Josh and in that case the song is fucking devastating and heartbreaking. But tbh a lot about Kaylor is so it’s no surprise 🤷🏻‍♀️ 
---------------------------------------------------
As usual, I’m up to discuss this. Do you agree? Disagree? Let’s talk! xx
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bisluthq · 4 years ago
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in the last week i've seen so many ppl in their teens and early 20s talking about how following you know who affected them negatively when they were younger and idk if it was Kickstarted by ttb4 or someone else before them but its been eyeopening to see. on gaylor twitter on debunking ttbs blog and on other gaylor blogs. and imo I think this is why straight woman shouldnt be given a leader role in lgbt fandoms. they accidentally mess lgbt teens up cos they dont understand how to handle stuff pro
Yeah it’s heartbreaking. Like genuinely. I’m so sorry for every kid who has felt like they were not enough for questioning themselves and going back and forth, or for not coming out, or who second guessed if they “looked” gay in pictures if they were closeted for safety reasons. I’m also sorry to every convert who wondered if their conversion was valid, to every Jewish kid who was told if they wear a crop top or pose with a Christmas tree they are bad Jews, to every single kid whose identity was dismissed or brushed aside. I’m so, so sorry and I want to tell every single one of these young people that they are fucking valid and enough.
But this is also where we can learn a very valuable lesson about staying in our designated lanes because I don’t think TTB is a bad human being. I think she is fundamentally good - just like I think most people are fundamentally good. Like I like do poke fun at her but it’s out of frustration, not because I think she is actually evil. No person is ever truly evil, IMO. But I’m frustrated with her because people have been saying and saying and saying to her that she’s hurting them and she hasn’t fucking listened. She has talked over them and erased their experiences and... well, and that’s where we can, as I say, learn a very valuable lesson.
Because what I think happened was TTB saw two very hot women and decided they’d make a very hot couple (which... fair). It’s not like you can’t stan queer people when you’re straight. We need allies, right? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with stanning Kaylor - or some other queer couple - as a straight person. But you shouldn’t try and be the leading voice on the issue because you’re bound to get stuff wrong. And if you’re willing to learn, like, fair. If you’re genuinely just interested and wanting to hear about the person or people you love, I have no issue with that. Like every Karlie or Dianna blog I’ve ever interacted with and corrected on issues around Judaism, has been extremely cool about it. Because they love Karlie and Dianna and they want to get it right. Which like fair. You don’t need to be Jewish to fangirl over Karlie or Dianna Agron or Bar Rafaeli or whoever. But if you talk over marginalized people? Not cool.
Like there’s, as I say, a super valuable lesson here and it applies to everyone like it’s not that I’m above it. So for example I love Megan Thee Stallion. I think she’s so hot, and so fucking funny, and her music is banging, and she is so smart and witty and I like... love her. Truly. Deeply. Should I run a blog on Meg that attempts to be The Meg blog? (For the record I don’t want to be The Anything blog I’m just fucking about and having fun rn but obvi we have a Tay Swift focus - but this shouldn’t be The Taylor blog lmao because I’m a clown). The answer is a resounding no. No, I shouldn’t. Because I would get stuff wrong. Not because I’d want to. Not because I’m not an ally. I am. But I’m not a Black woman and I don’t have that experience and it would be exhausting for Black women to have to keep educating so it wouldn’t be a fair ask - even if I were to listen (which I would but it’d still be taxing af). I LOVE Elliot Page in every thing he’s ever done since Juno. I was fucking obsessed with that movie. Should I attempt to become an authority on him and his life? No because I’d get stuff wrong and it would be exhausting for trans people to keep teaching me.
Now is there anything wrong with me stanning Black women? No. Is there anything wrong with me stanning trans people? No. But should I attempt to be the loudest voice on these people? No. Because I’ll get stuff wrong. And it will, as I say, become exhausting to folks who correct me and will be harmful to young people who look to me as an authority. So it’ll become a problem. Which is what happened here, right? Like I say this is a very very valuable lesson that I hope everyone - especially my younger readers - takes away from this mess.
And honestly, again, I don’t think TTB is a bad person and I wish she would just listen to what we’re saying instead of what she wants to hear us saying. Like I wish she’d take a deep breath, listen to understand and hear and not to respond, apologize to the marginalized folks she hurt and come back and just... have fun. Yet again let me reiterate that I had nothing to do with TTB’s deletion and I didn’t ask any of these kids to come forward - but I’m so proud of them and glad they did. I think TTB is probably a lovely person and a good friend to the other hard Kays. She’s welcome to come clown 🤡 but she must first do the work.
And to do the work she must sit down and hear what people are saying. And apologize.
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