#i think abt how much Jules has changed all the time bro

[astrumocs]

If you're wondering why Jules is so different now, that would be the untreated mental illness,

[slaytimesover]

Getting the C**NTS back together

—————

made up text chat between the euphoria gals, set after the finale & minus (SPOILER) fez getting in the shootout

I JUST WANT MY GIRLS TO BE HAPPY BROOOO

content: wholesome, tryna be realistic w how they text

—————

March 1st, 2021

Maddy: hey anyone

add cass back i still have the bitch unadded

Kat: bro don’t u know her username

Maddy: no this is my new phone rmb

literally showed u in class today:/ rude mf

Kat: shit sry babe

Maddy: </3

*Kat has changed the chat name to cassies hot tub vomit💯💯*

Maddy: HAHAHAHAAAAA GTFO

BB: 🤣🤣🤣Funny ash Nahhhh Kat

Jules: uMM bro how come idk anything abt this…

story time ???

*Kat has added Cassie*

Cassie: Um what the fuck guys….

Kat: SORRY CASS THE OPPORTUNITY WAS RIGHT THERE

BB: Can still Smell that shit on me ICL🤣🤣😂

Maddy: 💀💀fucking helpppp

Jules: I STILL NEED THAT STOYTIME ???

Cassie: Can I ask what the hell is going on

Is this new or smth? Also the names not funny

Jules: new as in … like 3 months old then ye

Cassie: WTF

Not a single one of yall has talked on the other chat for ages is it bc u guys were fucking here?

BB: Ya we have

Jus like u banged Nate for Ages n Shi 💀💀

Kat: out of POCKET

Maddy: LMAO BARBARA

Jules: PFF

no hard feelings tho cass :)

we all wanna meet up soonish

Maddy: yup friday at 8, my place

sorry this fkn introduction was brutal but babe we wanna properly get together again

all 7 of u cunts

Kat: 7? there’s 5 in the gc🤨🤨

Jules: wait wait wait can we like BACJTRACK to the cassie hot tub thing??

Cassie: No Jules we really can’t

Also Maddy are you sure?

Maddy: girl puked her guts out at my party after drinking herself half to death <3

sent me into fkn cardiac arrest ill tell u that

love u though babe

and yes ofc. we outta put this past us

Cassie: MADDY!!! Girl!!!!

Jules: LMAO POOR CASS

no shame in it weve all been there ❤️

Cassie: Shut upppp

Tell me if I’m ever gonna hear the end of that story…

Maddy: @Kat forgot to add em but i want rue rue & lex there too

going full out bitches

Kat: cass keep dreaming lolll

BB: Jule boutta see her Ex Yooooo😫😫

Kat: fuck fuck oh yeah

are yall cool now? i saw u two tgt after the play

BB: Play was Fire Though Lexi Ate🔥🔥🔥

Cassie: …

Jules: uh

well

that’s the question 😃

Maddy: jules b what happened?

Kat: yeah ive been meaning to properly check in holy crapp

Jules: we aren’t seeing each other anymore in that way, & maybe its for the best but im still processing it yk?

it was… weirdly calm even after the intervention bullshit went down

ig we had an unspoken agreement that we shouldnt be together

even if theres still love between us

its hard to tell where we stand is all im sayin

Kat: shit dude i hope ur okay

Maddy: yeah…

so much respect for u

itll get better n itll be worth it <3 i promise

wish i coulda realised that on my own, ur fuckin fearless

Cassie: I hear you Maddy

I’m happy for u Jules

BB: Go Jule 🙏

Cassie: I mean, if ur all okay then I’ll come

I really want to make amends I don’t know what had gotten into me

I feel terrible

Maddy: a friend told me that in her experience, it was just the right amount of attention at the wrong time, yh? anyways girl i kno u deserve amother chance even if u fucked up

& jules

same goes for u n rue, how abt we all hang out like old times and see where it goes on from there hm? pretty pls

Jules: i cant promise that itll nott be awkward but im down mads!

Maddy: bettt

*Maddy added Rue and Lexi*

Lexi: uh hello

what is this gc name 😭 don’t remind me omg

Kat: 😹😹

Maddy: okay listen up girls, my house 8pm friday, not optional so clear ur shit. no excuses.

& im talking to u lex with that fez mf

Lexi: noo stop💀

BB: She Blushin through the screen on Godd LOL

Rue: wait hey what’s going on

Maddy: rue rue

we wanna come together like the olden days & properly have a girls night

think we deserve a celebration after the shit weve been thru this year

Lexi: really?

thats sounds so nice I like that !!

Kat: ur play def sealed the deal for us dude<3

we fr just need a big catch up & some actual fun

Jules: literallyy

Maddy: everyone in fr?

Lexi: yess

Cassie: Yes

Jules: yep!

Kat: ofc

BB: Yass

Cassie: Rue?

Lexi: um I think fez just took her phone hold up

Jules: NOT YOU WITH FEZ AGAIN AHHH

Rue: YO WHO THE FUCK IS CASSIE AND WHY SHE THROWING up in the bathbutt

Kat: man said bathbutt😭😭

Rue: TUB*

Tu(/(/)£&&&@&@&&&@@@@@@@

Sorry55555555555555 that was fe££&&

FEZ TOOK My phone sry guys

Maddy: sadly were not inviting fez </3 shame we can’t meet the bf lexi but rue come join us brooo

Rue: i mean…

we can try

lotsa shit went down between us tho are u all good?

Cassie: Yeah, & we can just take it step by step anyways

Jules: yepp, i wanna see u all

no matter what

Rue: well

ill try n be there

so sure guys:)

BB: YOOOO It Worked

Maddy: ahhhhhh! cant fucking wait

god i missed this bs<3

[jilyesplz]

Hi, sorry for what is most likely a very weird ask 😢 but I've never read TLAT since physically I don't have the circumstances to commit to such a long abandoned and unresolved fic, but i love all your stories and writing so I read your TLAT fics too! I loved them, especially the fluff dribbles because you give them such delicious dynamic 😍. I read the first chapter of Potter and Evans too and I think I understood most of it even without knowing the backstory, but I have one question if it's OK? I know this must be selfish of me but could you tell me what's the deal with James and Carlotta? Was she the prettiest girl in school? Did he really love her and then she dumped him?! 😱

Hi! First of all thank you so much for reading my stories, especially the continuation when you haven’t read the OG? :o I’m honored! This ask is not selfish at all, although I do really, really, really recommend reading TLAT! It genuinely is such a beautiful work of art. With that said...spoilers are definitely available, so I don’t ~think~ it’s evil of me to answer this?? i honestly feel kinda guilty abt this lmao but...below the cut!

Hoo mama. Strap in for this fuckin ride. (This got unbelievably long so TL/DR at bottom lmao, but a lot of it is actually relevant to P&E)

First off, yes, Carlotta Meloni is the prettiest girl in school. That is her main character trait. Her main personality trait is knowing it. 

We....hate her with the fire of a thousand suns. Everything’s fine lmao.

So in July before 7th year, James and Lily almost kiss. It’s...wow. Just...WOW. But Lil is drunk and scared of her own feelings, so she calls it off at the last second, which James takes as 'nothing is ever going to happen between us.’ Then he pops off to his beach house as The Rich are wont to do. Carlotta is there, she flirts, he flirts back, she kisses him, he kisses her back, she asks him out, he says (Lily will never love me so) yes.

MEANWHILE, Carlotta’s best (only) friend Shelley Mumps has been in love with James since 462 BC, which Carlotta knows, but Shelley isn’t pretty and he barely knows she exists. It’s very high school. (TLAT starts with its main characters as very immature teenagers, and they grow a TON and become these lovely, insane, completely fantastic people, and then this plotline comes along to be like But Lest You Forget, Wow Are They In Fucking High School. It hurts. Jules is an evil genius.) Shelley hears that Carlotta is dating James, is furious at the betrayal, so she gets a tan (and a weight loss potion and much sluttier clothes) and starts trying to sabotage James’s relationship. 

Important background here: Pre-7th year, Carlotta was pretty universally despised by Hogwarts’s female population for shagging all of their boyfriends. So as soon as Shelley starts talking shit, a slow-motion school-wide catfight breaks out...which Mundungus Fletcher decides to monetize. Dung starts taking bets from the student population on whether James will dump Carlotta for Shelley. 

Ew. 

But again: high school. 1970s. James wants to shut it down, Carlotta says don’t because she prides herself on not caring what other people think (which James does too, but he understands that this is gross and awful. Car doesn’t care). Betting turns into voting on whether James “should” dump Carlotta for Shelley. What the fuck this actually means is left intentionally vague, and it of course becomes a popularity/fuckability contest. 

Up to now, Carlotta hasn’t really done anything wrong in this story except (debatably) date her BFF’s crush. That’s about to change. 

James wants to end the voting. Carlotta again says don’t, now because (Jesus Fucking Christ, get ready for this one) she has made a secret bet with Shelley: if Car wins, Shelley will leave them alone. If Shelley wins, Carlotta will break it off with James. 

Quick note: the whole time, James essentially lets Carlotta make the decisions, acting as if the women are the wronged parties, which, yes, the school is doing a super shitty and sexist thing. But if the roles were flipped and a girl were in James’s situation, we would feel AWFUL for her. I just think it’s important that the school is doing a really horrible thing to James too, and the fact that he’s the James Potter, Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, Universally Beloved Most Popular Bloke in School doesn’t change that. Just because he acts unaffected doesn’t mean he is. James Potter is human. And God, what a human. <3

SOMEONE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG.

Anyway. Vote’s coming up. James rigs it for Carlotta to get everyone to leave them alone. The Marauders, without telling James, rig it for Shelley (because they hate Carlotta for a long list of reasons, and they love Lily, and they know Lily fancies James) (oh, yeah! Lily realized she fancied James on the platform back to school, right before finding out he was with Carlotta. Quite a gut punch). 

Carlotta...fucking rigs it...for Shelley. 

Fucking.

I cannot. 

I cannot.

Twat. 

In her defense: James is in L* with Lily, and it would be really, really hard to be his girlfriend. Also, she misses her BFF.

Not in her defense: Literally every decision she makes in this process!!! Talk to him you idiot bitch.

So then Car confesses rigging the vote to Lily and they have a heart to heart (well, more of alternating rants. They’re not mates). L says Car should tell him, but doesn’t tell him herself because she’s Lily, and because she’s worried she would be telling him because she wants him rather than because he really should know...really, she doesn’t tell him because she’s Lily. Car initially doesn’t tell him, they almost kinda get back together. She commits her greatest crime here: once upon a time, Lily told Carlotta and Shelley all the “little things” about James that she’d noticed...it’s one of the story’s first ‘oh fuck, L REALLY likes J’ moments, but way before Lily has come to terms w that. Carlotta....then uses....Lily’s little things speech....to convince J to get back together with her. Dude, she’s worse than Umbridge. But then she changes her mind because Lily has made her feel guilty so she confesses, and they break up.

Wowza. Sorry for the fucking novel. I have...a lot...of feelings.

TL/DR: J started dating Carlotta after L rejected him, while still v much in L*ve with L but trying to deny it. Lots of high school bullshit happened, ending in a school-wide vote about whether J should dump Carlotta for her ex-BFF Shelley who also fancies him. Ew, David. Carlotta and Shelley make a secret deal that Carlotta will dump J if she loses, then Carlotta rigs the vote so she’ll lose. She loses, tells him about the bet and he’s like ‘OK I’m done with you.’ She then changes her mind, tries to get him back, but Lil’s goodness guilts her into telling him the truth about the bet and they break up. So to your questions...yes, no, yes and no. Lil thought maybe he loved Car, and in Potter and Evans, she now thinks he does because she dramatically misinterpreted what Libby was saying—teasing James about how unsuccessful his attempts at moving on were—as bro-y congratulations/teasing for how fast he found a rebound.