#i think abour this so so much
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And I just have to tell you that I
Love you so much these days,
#homestuck#dirk strider#bgd#brain ghost dirk#jake english#dirkjake#hs2#homestuck^2#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck epilogues#candy epilogue#admin draws#fanart#i cant even pretend im normal about my own art or this song im sorry#im tryna think of something to say abour this and i keep thinking about the lyrics and i GRGRHHHHFHFJG#i dunno man. i love plastic beach. i cant say anything here that is not gallbladder-achingly cheesy#but just. i dont know.#jake keeping a little bit of dirk in his heart all those years. even if bgd is 'all' jake hes still in the memory he carries#when i listen i find myself stuck between which singer/verse should be jake and which should be dirk. but the answer is simple#theyre both both.#jake thinks hes the one singing abour getting abandoned. but really hes the one losing himself in the substance#and dirk. dirk is the one watching him lose himself. but since hes just a part of jake. yeah.#'i have to tell you that i love you so much these days' both as something jake is saying to dirk and what jake wishes dirk was there to say#hes so alone in that reality. even if he might not admit and go so far as to imagine dirk saying it. its something that deep down#he aches to hear. the man who has deemed himself unlovable and incapable of love. he still wants to hear it despite himself#he still wants to say it despite nnot being able to bring himself to even process that emotion#sigh. see what happens. i cant talk aboht it bc a single line turns intoTHIS
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[Image description: A digital painting of Jimmy Cooper from the film Quadrophenia. He's at the centre of the piece. His hands are clasped together and his face - which is looking to the side, past the audience - is resting upon them slightly. He hunched into himself, hands pulled closed and his green parka jacket dwarfing him, as if he's drowning in it. His mouth his set and his eyes are squinted as his eyebrows begin to pull together. He seems tired, and his hair is messed up. Jimmy's skin uses warmer colours - although it primarily uses yellows and beiges - while his jacket is mostly colder blues and greens. His hair is comprised of colder tones too, with mostly blues and purples, with some greens are browns. The background is a light blue, with scratchy concentric circles drawn around Jimmy using a slightly darker blue.]
Inktober - Day 13 (Horizon)
Film - Quadrophenia (Franc Roddam, 1979)
#inktober#inktober 2024#quadrophenia#jimmy cooper#quadrophenia fanart#jimmy cooper fanart#digital art#🥰🥰🥰🥰#i think over the next couple of days my current phil daniels obssession that started a few months ago is gonna become uhhh#very apparent#🥰#and also when inktober is over i have some more jimmy drawings to post 👍👍👍#anyway ive watched quadrophenia 3 times now (which is a lot since i tend not to rewatch things too much)#so am a bit obsessed 🤏#ummmm so good i love the vibes i love the way the subculture is shown and then cracks apart#jimmy is such a wet rat i love him 🙏🙏🙏#teen angst of all time truly#(i am willing to talk so much abour quadrophenia hmu 🙏🙏)#also the soundtrack (as in the actual og album lol) has really grown on me#sooooo#song of the day is love reign o'er me by the who#duh#i do love the song although i have different faves (its pretty close tho)#but i thought itd fit the prompt and the scene i drew the best
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Regarding previous post about disco horse: I really appreciate that everyone is actually talking for once, but a kind of jab happened on my mental health so I have to step away. It isn't from this post, but the reason is sort of connected
Again, I personally find no problems with the DLC except for how Radahn ship came from nowhere and can justify how that comes. But regardless of how many things anyone else dislikes about the DLC: you are valid to hate it as much as you want, but when you start insulting people who loved/accepted/justified the DLC as "media illiterate fromsoft dickriders who keeps coping even after the honeymoon phase passed" and variation I draw the line. There are many ways where other fans can find reason where you didn't and there is potential in new lore that you won't use. Absurd how some people are still willing to support illusory narrative that Radahn Redditor simps are the "worst" part of the fandom when not even at their most arrogant and annoying they can dream to reach HALF of the toxicity cultish Miquella/Malenia fans have, over the awful crime of having different readings, opinions and priorities.
And yes, I know it is inevitable that Tumblr and Twitter fans WOULD make a moral/intellectual/maturity contest out of how people feel about the DLC (🤡🤡🤡), but it hurts when people I actually don't want to butt heads with who start to approve of this mentality. Like, okay cool. Wallow in your elitist toxic pool of Ledas while we, "pathetic dickriders" go and "cope" somewhere else, hope everyone is more comfortable this way 🤦♂️ I am tired of getting hurt through endless passive aggression and I have my limits. It is just always hurtful to finally rip the bandage, even IF it is to the better. I need a hiatus for a longer time, albeit for a different reason now
#fandomry rambles#personal#/vent#like no anon haters or even harass campaign can really hurt me#it is just people I consider my pals who can#back in april I split with a guy who likewise was miquella fan of a certain kind#and the worst part is that with him it was triggered by the SAME toxic user's antics#stupid how people were trying to gaslight me that they are 'merely sharing their opinions'#when they are clearly cultish freak cultivating toxicity of 'right and wrong' fans based on their HEADCANONS#screw you guys you are way too naive#I just can't accept this#even if I slipped a few times in THREE YEARS SPAN saying mean things abour gehrman haters#ive improved and above all it wasnt consistent but just bad days and reacting at THEIR insults#when someone *consistently* and deliberately mocks every fan that dares to feel differently?#this is just abhorrent and I don't understand people who accept this behavior only because-#-they happen to share headcanons and opinions with the op#there are more important things than agreeing on hcs and opinions! like climate in fandom!#ugh!!!#in any case it is clear what some people REALLY think of me isn't it!!!#now if you don't mind me I'll go 'cope' and elaborate 'shitty miyazakis writing' in my carians headcanons#if I can walk after 'riding fromsofts dick' so much -_-#I swear the worst chadahn stand can say is that you are overthinking because there is no evidence
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I'm not a psychologist or a politician or anything approaching an expert about literally anything except a few specific video games but I feel like so many people wouldn't be agonizing over the moral implications of one (1) vote if we as the less-than-uppest-of-upper-crust had the ability to meaningfully affect change in ways other than 'spend money/do not spend money, vote for the red or blue tie'
#spitblaze says things#im aware its significantly more complicated. but i think this is whats driving a not insignificant amount of posting#biden has been doing a godawful job with foreign policy. i am under no illusion that trump will do better#you can still just THREATEN to withhold your vote. i get why some might not want to but its an option.#every presidential election since 2008 has been the most important election in american history. im tired.#idk man. i havent been super engrossed in politics since high school but ive never seen this much agonizing over whether or not#pwople should vote like. at all#personally im of the opinion that you should. its a good thing to do. but you should also exercise your power to put pressure on politician#and threatening to not vote for them is a pretty good way to do that#i gotta stop posting abour serious shit. but maybe id do it less if shit sucked less. so here we are#free palestine. if federal level politics is driving you insane then pay more attention to local level stuff. join a mutual aid org#and donate esims and food money to gaza. do things besides agonizing about november
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Hey do yall think that Jamil knows that, under the effect of Jade's spell, Kalim not only knew (somewhat) what Jamil was doing to him, but still refused to tell a single soul because of how much he cares about Jamil?
Do you think anyone ever fucking told Jamil that's how much he means to Kalim? Under the effect of whats essentially a truth serum spell, would not say a word about who it was?
#twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst#twst kalim#twst jamil#i think abour this a lot tbh#i dont think anyone actually told Jamil that Kalim didnt give him up#wouldnt#even when under the effects of Shock The Heart#kalim was tight lipped about all of it#i love them so much yall#theyre so dynamic
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I like the idea of an extremely pro mage/ anti chantry warden getting watered down and basically propagandatized by the chantry
Like Aviae hates the circles with a passion, and is actively outspoken about that. Shes killed templar's by the end of awakening, and has almost zero remorse about doing so because they hurt her best friend! Her whole life has been spent under Templar control and she's angry and pissed off about it. She may have played the perfect pupil in the circle (only because she was terrified, she was so scared of the brand that it made her sick to her stomach) but now that shes out? She refuses to be quiet about it
However. The chantry can't have someone that important speaking ill about them, can they? Luckily, Aviae has a distaste for politics (even if she becomes fairly okay at them out of necessity), and generally avoids the public eye so the chantry does what they do best (and lies). The hero of Fereldan? Oh yes, she was a Circle mage. Yes she was the epitome of a good mage; she followed the rules and did as she was told. In fact, her success just proves how well the circles work! If it weren't for her years of discipline, surely Fereldan would have been doomed to fail.
Idk I really like the idea of the hof being used as a form of propaganda by the circle, especially non human and mage origins. Even better if they died killing the Archdemon because what are they gonna do, contradict them? They cant! They're dead and their image is being used as propaganda
#dragon age#oc: aviae surana#warden surana#dao#the idea of aviae having tons of misinformation surrounding her has been an idea bouncing around my head for a while#unless you know her personally most people think shes pro circle#because thats what the chantry promotes! and most people get their information from the chantry!#i think when Leliana becomes divine she does try to counteract it#or at least in my worldstate shes divine#anyways but by that point its been so long and theres so much of it that it doesnt even matter#i feel like i can relate this to ameridan. somehow#is that his name? ameridan? it looks like it days american#idk the other Inquisitor from jaws of hakkon#sorry i love yapping abour aviae#shes my fav dragon age oc i love her sm i have to make anything and everything about her#its why my rook is her cousin#something something living in her shadow. yeah#worldstate: mage rights#<- i always forget to tag that lmao
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if u say thirteens writing is bad u have to say tens writing is bad too. btw
#and eleven#like.#eleven is great#i love rivers arc#alwo!#did yall even watch claras arc#they literally treat her like a fucking object#‘jodie is so good but the writinggg’ ‘i wanted to like her but the writingg’ just shut up and say that u dont wanr a female doctor#this goes for people who are female too btw#yes ! mosr of the people i see hating on thirteen are men#that doesnt mean women who dont want things to change or bave internalized misogyny dont hate on her as well#did yall even see the end of time or wtv tf its called (im so bad with names)#if its about how they handled the side characters: literally side characters randomly disappear all the TIME in doctoe who#if its abour the timeless child arc#‘it ruins everything’ so close! it’s actually called a character arc#genuinely whats not to like#shes a silly little lesbian !!!!#and thetes so much in spydoc#and thasmin too#like honestly i think thirteens seasons are the BEST.#thirteenth doctor#doctor who#dw
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If Blaze has 50 fans, I'm one of them. If Blaze has 30 fans I'm one of them. If Blaze has 10 fans I'm one of them. If Blaze has 1 fan I have bested all the other fans in the fine art of being in love with this collection of pixels. If Blaze has 0 fans I have fallen alongside my brethren after a battle hard fought, and I am rewarded by the grace of death in my loves arms before I am to be reborn and fall in love all over again.
#whoops one of my Blaze posts got really personal again#who could've seen this coming#im. just. guys I know we makes jokes abour being normal while not being normal#i dont know. if there is a word in the language I speak. to describe how I feel about this block man#its. bad. like its really bad. like you think its bad and then its worse. its always worse.#he has actually rotted my brain and I love it#he lives here and I wouldn't dare think of making him pay the rent#GOD I LOVE BLAZE SO MUCH#mystreet blaze#xer's rambles
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would u try
#i would take a bite#ctubbo#ctubbo fanart#i will never use the main cc tag thay is so scary i feel like im way too early 2021 pilled my username is gonna get me on a list somwhere😭😭#it is 2024#sorreyyy no big pieces lately i am in School and actually that has nothign to do with it i just like to spend 3 hours walking around my Park#IT WAS BEAUTIFUL TODAY LIKE OMG.insanw ir was 80 degrees perfect weather i Trained to school and Back it was so nice and oughgh when i went#to the park after it was LIFERLALY THE PERFECT WEATHEE like all that crazy wind from the day before GONE i was so happy and the clouds were#so beautiful i love the park i lovvee my town i literallu]t live in heaven im so serious]d#tomorrow i will make zucchini bread.....i need to write this essay too but then IM FREE i can lock in i literally finished my part for this#history project in like an hour i am a Pro Procrastinator i got that😅😅#thays it for tofay i think nothing crazy ok good night#read gourmet hound on webtoon its SOO GOOODDS every time i think of sweets i think of thay damn Webtoon#omg i need to write a rant abour that but not today.....Tomorrow maybe i have so much to say about that ok bue
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anyway i need more monarch a trois fics. sigh. wish i could write, i gotta draw them more at least
#the thing is i dont even know what abour if i were to request or write myself#but im thinking about a post movie setting with the monarch healing and perhaps with also some comfort about the new situation#also Spoilers but id assume the arching would be more complicated with the ventures in colorado#so its just a waiting time. time to be domestic? or speed it up by killinger helping monarch heal up and the ventures getting back to NY#orrr the monarch gets a new cocoon finally or a jet. anything he can fly in to get to the ventures#i wonder how they would continue this. theres still a lot to be told story wise. but in this case#lotsa time for feelings and getting together properly#im also thinking about how seemingly gary doesnt think about sheila That much now and it seemed to be pretty awkward between them so#id love to see them get closer. him and monarch are very close but its time for sheila#aaand id also love to explore monarchs feelings. theres gotta be a Lot of them right now - but specifically the changes about him and how#he views others and how he respects and cares about both sheila and gary and perhaps explore what could be internalized homophobia#his past remarks vs now i know its the show as a whole maturing but its also nice to just view it as his personal character growth and#feelings realization on his side...#the thing is hes a villain and they wanted to push this whole 'he says shitty things cause hes a dick. hes a villain.' thing but#they fleshed him out so much that i cant not look at him as a not that bad guy and feel for him and pity him and such#siiiigh i wanna know more. i wanna know how hed treat more henchmen now. i wanna know about his childhood after the plane crash#i wanna know if he does or doesnt feel bad about kidnapping gary. assuming monarch just went straight to henching at a young age#perhaps its so normal to him - and its so normal to gary imo. thats why they dont see anything wrong in training kids as henchmen lol#also while im at it. the monarch being the reason 24 died and the biography 21 helped write and monarchs cat that he killed#are they over that. are the last 2 things light retcons? i wannt them discussing that#maybe theres fics about it but if its not shippy i havent found it yet#me when the rarepair/trio is rare 😥😩#and i havent seen 2024 fics. where are they hiding#everything is like 2018 latest so pre movie or during or pre s7
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my deg post of the day is that i think i should do a time travel episode. or like. a flashback one. idk i have half the cast as being quite old (Dante and Persephone lived normally around the late 400s/early 500s and Pluto i think somewhere in the 1100s-1500s I haven't decided yet) but my point is i don't think i do as much plot stuff with them being Basicallt Immortal (or in Dante's case. actuallt immortal) as i should
#mayo speaks#death's errand girl#i will say i think i do a good job themeatically makinf their age relevant#both pluto and persephone their like. character theses are both about memory and sort of. what you do whenbyou start to lose it#and dante is like. his thing is about death because you know he physically cant die so his struggle is like. what connects him with the#people around him if he will never experience the one thing all of them will?#idk i need to go open the computer and come up with more episode ideas#i genuinely love the episodic structure so much bevause it means whenever i come up with a cool short story thay i dont think can stand on#its own very well. i just make it a deg episode. thank you monster of thr week!#anyways. everyone should send me asks abour deg i want to talk abour deg 🫶
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HEY. tell me about a million things (please)
hey so i actually spent over an hour (not even exaggerating) writing a really long and incoherent rant about everything i think and wonder and imagine about alagadda but then tumblr broke and deleted the Entire Fucking Thing so uh. idk what to tell you man im sorry if you want you can ask me about it or something and ill answer it when im not the angriest ive ever been in my life
#'something broke try again 😔' Tumblr Im Going To Fucking Do Something Terrible Do You Know How Much I Put Into That Post You Deleted.#OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I HAD SO MUCH SHIT WRITTEN DOWN ABOUT LITERALLY EVERY THOUGHT IVE EVER HAD ABOUT ALAGADDA BECAUSE ITS ALL I THINK ABOUR#SO MANY QUESTIONS SO MANY HEADCANONS I LITERALLY SPENT OVER AN HOUR WRITING!!!!!!!!#AND YOU DONT EVEN GET TO SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!! OH KY GOD#I MIGHT CRY#FUCKING#AHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!#I WAS SO EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO BECAUSE I NEVER GET THE CHANCE TO?#BUT OK FINE WHATEVER I GUESS I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL I GET ANOTHER CHANCE.#sco mutuals. Olease. I Need to talk about this fuckass fictional city or i will die please i swear i dont bite just ask me anything literall#y anything please#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#zomb answers
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sending guitarspear right back at you lol
I'm love them..... Adam sucks so much and lute is such an asshole and they deserve each other <3
Ok but like seriously I'm like. Adam has lost both his wives, very likely through his own fault as well as Lucifer's interference (no one is perfect or fully to blame in this particular situation, they're all at fault), and while he sucks so much and was handed these things along with being the first man and is generally The Worst .... Losing people who for all intents and purposes were supposed to be with you and love you, that hurts. It hurts a lot.
I don't condone Adams actions or behaviour, but I can understand how losing Lilith and eve, both indirectly to lucifer, would hurt, after he was given the promise of being the First Man and the creator of humanity and all that promise likely entailed.
Honestly, when I think about Adam and what's going on in his squishy little dickface head, it leads me into the same roads thinking about this show always does - is it a person's fault for believing what they're told about themselves? Are the actions they do as a result of this belief that hurt people fully to blame on them?
Heaven and hell do not exist in a vacuum in the original texts. God is not blameless, in my humble opinion, for the events that transpire and lead to the bible we know today. And I don't know how much hazbin intends to fuck around with the original text (Adam can't enter heaven in the Bible cos he committed the original sin and they've already fucked with that) but it's interesting to consider the larger implications of what they have already used and what might come later.
Adam sucks and he believes he is owed a woman's love and subservience. We know he demanded Lilith's subservience from the beginning (but who's telling that story? What are they skewed by? Is Charlie's account of the original story of Eden to be trusted? She is Lilith's daughter, and has only known hell as her home, can we trust what we says the whole time?)
But who told Adam that he was owed that? Was he made with that idea in his mind? Was he told Lilith, and subsequently Eve, would be his? Was he led to believe he could demand these things with no consequences to anyone else's wellbeing?
And if so... Is it his fault if he believes that?
These are the kinds of things I think about with these stories. I honestly don't think the show is intelligent enough or well written enough to properly go into them in a way I would find satisfying, but I do like the implications of some of the writing and what I can think about beyond that.
Anyway, back to Adam and lute.
Adams whole deal is that he's lost women who were supposed to be his, and that hurts as much as he is a dickhead about it. It makes me think that deep down he's lost the ability to trust that anyone will stay and, y'know, actually like him as a person. Yes, he sucks so fucking much, but when you're faced with the prospect of being a shitty person and having no one like you at all, or being a shitty person in control of lots of nice things, who wouldn't pick the second option? He's a human through and through to me, full of petty jealousy and righteous anger and generally a stupid mean dickhead who enjoys being nasty for fun.
Enter lute, who stands next to him with everything. Lute, who is his second in command, who not only tolerates his crass humour and vulgar language but seems to engage with it in her own way. Lute who is wholeheartedly on board with the violent eradication of the sinners, to the point that she absolutely believes people need to die if they can't live to a standard set by someone else (again, who sets this standard and why?)
Lute, who is every bit as awful and horrible as Adam is, and matches him in a way seemingly Lilith or Eve didnt.
Lute, who stayed.
They're not good people and frankly I don't want them to be - to me they're a product of being created to serve a purpose that you really don't have all the answers for and have no say in; Adam to populate humanity, Lute to destroy what heaven deems destroyable and wrong.
Who sets the terms of their existence? Do they have an agenda to fulfill? Some goal they want to reach? How do Adam and Lute, and by extension the exorcists and heaven and hell, play into this? What is the purpose of punishing people, and creating people to punish those, and who creates the rules that mean these punishments happen? By extension, who creates the rules that rewarding people like Adam and Lute happen? Why? And is it their fault if they are wholeheartedly led to believe that they are deserving of the status they have when they very clearly do not have the full picture of the situation at large?
They're so interesting to me and I love them so much.
Also I'm just a sucker for hardass terrible female characters who do not so right things and the sleazebag men they want to jump so. There.
#catfish speaks#this got long but im on mobile so i cant see How long#sorry not sorry you get my thoughts abour religion with all of this#genuinely this show is so interesting to me to think about#anyway. wahoo#theres not quite as much analysis of adam and lute that i wanted to talk about#but ill save thay for fanfiction character studies i think#this is like th meta video essay On the text#the exegesis if you will#the text is the fucked up fanfics ive been writing in my own time#theyre sooooooo. i love them
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You know I didn't expect to actually befriend people in fashion school, cuz I just applied for a short course, so I bet most people are just minding their own business, not to mention I'm sure people have already formed their friend groups and are less likely to accept new people, which is a sad reality I have to accept.
And outside of my little friend group, I'm actually pretty shy and a bit of a loner. I'm also quiet but am bubbly/friendly once you talk to me.
So imagine my surprise when I randomly got invited for lunch by a stylish friend group, like a main character moment and got deep into a conversation with someone who is not only a fellow weeb, but also someone who shares my unpopular. fandom. opinions??!!!!?
#personal#i felt so seen knowing we have the same controversial opinions about genshin#and then they bought up kny and at first i was hesitant bc i thought they were gonna bash it or something#instead they were like 'I dont get the hate for swordsmith arc im an anime only but so far i found all seasons to be good'#I AGREE!!! swordsmith arc may not be my fav arc nor do I find it to be perfect#but it is GOOD and I actually appreciate it so much more bc of the anime#and then we talked abour frieren junji ito ghibli and literally every show i can think of#well that was fun#also they went to the same school I attended when I was studying architecture and we talked about#how much we hated that school and how glad we are to be out of there#next time ill talk about why i hate my old university maybe for a next post lol
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Quality is not good on these but I recently restored this 3.5 Toola Roola and I'm really proud of how she turned out :3
#mlp#mlp g3.5#by 'restored' I mean I just washed and brushed her (and attempted to style her hair lol)#I prommy the bangs look better irl </3#I'm very much still an amateur at restoring mlps#but I'm really thinking abour doing a post that details how I restore them#I have a few that I got over the past few months that I never got to (procrastination lol)#so I can use one kf them for thatif I do make the post
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whatever idk!!!! im not gonna let myself feel pathetic trying to keep this up when you don't seem to care to do the same! im not gonna let myself look stupid responding right away and trying to hold conversation when you probably dont think of me at all!!! i won't let myself think about you all day and wish for something that i guess isn't gonna happen! you're so pretty and you know it and you have to know how you make people feel about you and you know you're cool and attractive and you Know people are gonna get attached to you you must!!!!! you must know that i would! and you told me you liked me you told me you wanted to see me again you said all those lovely things to me that you must have known would stick with me! and im stupid im so stupid for probably just being another one to you!!! stupid for wanting to be something special or to mean something to you!! you must make everyone feel so special for a few days! and im not! you cant even think to text me and i let myself look ridiculous for you!!! you held my hand and kissed me and said you liked it and you missed it and i dont believe you!!!!!!!
#vent#diary#you didnt respect my time and you didnt think of what it would mean to me to do that and i let you keep being so sweet to me even when#you didn't respect even my time#now you talk to me so infrequently and when you do its like i dont mean anything and none of what happened happened#maybe im just stupid. maybe im just too easily attached and im clingy and i expect too much#maybe im being so fuckin. dramatic#and maybe you dont owe me anything#but that doesn't mean you didnt make me feel shitty either way#and i still cant decide what to do abour it#because we all know i'll wanna respond in the same minute when you wonr text back for hours either way#and i'll want to see you again because man i want to see you again#but maybe i should just give it up#maybe i should have known you'd be mean right away#like its not about me for you its about having A me#AND YOU!!+++! asked ME out first!#and now im the one here liking you while you dont think about me at all
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