#i think a lot of people will just lose interested

[narutobookshelf]

#i want to meet the jōnin housing interior decorator. who is the one who designs these apartments. what are the principles they use going in #i like the cluttered idea of his home more bc while the idea that kakashi keeps his home absolutely spotless bc he doesnt live in it #and doesnt have a real ''home'' personality is loaded in a very compelling meow meow way #but for my interest...i have to say its not as compelling to me bc kakashi is not an empty man! he's bursting with feelings #i very much like the idea that hes incapable of letting go of the past and so he keeps a lot of trinkets #people leave and people die and people vanish but if you have something of theirs—in some way its a tangible memory #a way to hold them in your hands#i think hes careful with his trinkets though i think he keeps the important ones in sealed containers out of sunlight or elements so that#they remain unchanged by time #(of relevance: exposing things to sunlight is one way to break down odors quickly) #its not clean and feelingless and efficient but i think kakashi might be a little bit of a pack rat... #i think that naruto gives him drawings when hes first appointed sensei of team 7....and he keeps them in a little cardboard box bc #he doesnt know what to do with them but the idea of getting rid of them doesnt even cross his mind. so hes got all these goofy kid drawings #of naruto as a huge badass fighting sasuke and enemies with lots of teeth and spikes and like kakashi and sakura #one day like 20 yrs later when narutos in his thirties kakashi finds them again and loses his fucking mind laughing#gai + yamato (who live with him now bc they need to share the fridge) are like what. what happened whatd you find #kakashis the kind of person where if you give him something he just holds onto it for eternity

(reblogging with ops tags)

i am trying to find a image of the outside of kakashi's window to see what textures i should use for jōnin housing, and i am not finding it but i did find this. look. look

i have so much to say. firstly, everyone wears their shoes in kakashi's apartment, kakashi wears his shoes in kakashi's apartment. i think there is an absolutely and entirely unused shoe rack. there, that blue vertical cubby thing next to the door. it has at least seven slots and there's not a single set of shoes in there!

there have probably NEVER been a set of shoes in there. no respect for Kakashi's living space allowed.

secondly, if i am correct, the caligraphy on that wall just says shinobi. it's like. this is really funny to me. imagine just having ur job title in caligraphy hung up on the wall. a little like having this hung up on ur wall

u feel me? did he pick that out himself. did it come with the apartment (jōnin standard housing...obsessed). what about that weird abstract art behind sasuke in the front area, the one that kinda reminds me of the inside of Jiraiya's frog jutsu. did kakashi hang that up in his own room. did he see that and go "yeah, this is something I want to wake up and look at every morning that I'm back in Konoha"

also. skjghsdkgjhsdkgjhsdgkjhsdgkjshdgkshdgdsg. hello to mr ukki on the window sill. and hello to kakashi's shuriken blanket. that's so cute. what the hell is his interior design sense. it seems like.

if everything is put together. it seems like...well, as kate said, pinterest shinobi...

also sidenote he takes off his shoes even when hes just poking around his students homes w/ the hokage

so its Just his own apartment that gets this disrespect. when i told kate abt this they pointed out "well, that's probably because kakashi has no ownership of his own space and feels transient always but he respects the space of others send tweet" which is so true, so true.

(it should be noted that in the manga his home is a lil more cluttered)

[callmecoke]

Thinking of the first time the 141 discover you on a website for Sugar Babies...

TW: Sex work, specifically being a sugar baby. Mention of insanity, but it's mostly exaggeration; this one's pretty SFW, but I would proceed with caution because the subject matter is adult. Not Proofread!!

This is the first instalment of something I’ll continue writing about!!! And also my first post!!!! Yipeeee😆😆😆

I’m thinking about one tired, slow, dull day with our favourite 141 boys as they sit around waiting to receive orders and go-tos from higher-ups. They’ve done everything they could to pass the time: Polished and prepared the weaponry, sorted and stored old files, and Simon even got desperate enough to fold, wash and tuck in bedding for the second time. But eventually, they ran out of little distractions and were left waiting for orders that might never come. Bit by bit, it was driving them mad. The first to snap was Gaz, who was already pacing up and down the base like a madman. Out of desperation, he grabbed his laptop that he hid under his bed and opened it. He knew he wasn’t allowed to access electronic devices while at base; frankly, he wasn’t even supposed to have them at all. But Price couldn’t be bothered to chastise his sergeant, as he was equally starting to get desperate for some action too. 

Gaz just started opening tabs, looking for anything to pass the time. He wasn’t sure what his goal was other than to find something that might quell his building insanity. That’s when he saw it. Some sort of…dating website? No, not entirely that. It was filled with livestreams, gorgeous younger men and women just talking. He looked further and found it was some kind of sugar baby service where people could come on and interact with lonely rich fellas with cash to spend. Interesting, but not his thing. He was about to exit the page when he spotted your livestream. You were attractive, no doubt about that, but you also seemed a lot more nervous than the other ‘sugar babies’ on this website acted. Like you were new to all this. Your live stream was just you sitting on your bed with the laptop in front of you, only having a dozen or so viewers at most. Curiosity struck him, and his finger moved to click on your livestream. 

The audio of you talking played out of the speakers on the laptop, making the other three men's heads turn in Gaz’s direction. You spoke softly, careful with your words as you talked about yourself and your day, answering questions now and again. It was intriguing. You had each of their attention with the way you spoke. None of them had spoken to a civilian for months. Outside of the 141, they barely even saw another human being with the way they were stuck there. So hearing your voice felt like singing angels to them, one that came to pull them out of the darkness of their minds. Soap and Simon silently shuffled to where Gaz was and leered behind him, watching you talk over his shoulder. Price continued to sit on his side of the room, but he was still entranced by your voice. Even ordering Gaz to turn up the volume if it got too quiet.

Gaz soon realised that the livestream was nearing its end. You hadn’t earned a lot of money, and you were slowly losing steam. But Gaz was desperate. He needed to hear your voice again. To talk to you, speak to you, interact with you somehow. His fingers moved before his brain did, and he input his card details into the website faster than the speed of sound. You had to pay in order to leave a comment and interact on this kind of website, so he tipped you a healthy sum of cash before typing out the quickest sentence he could to get your attention.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

[nkogneatho]

FREAKY ON THE ROAD

—cw: 1k, fem!reader, nicknames, semi-public, voyeurism kink mentioned, blowjob, dirty talk.

—a/n: i am gonna marry this UV light eyed freak.

You never knew you were so starved for his touch until he brushed his knuckles against your cheek. His other hand held your waist, inching you ridiculously closer to him, as if he wanted your souls to merge. It was getting harder not to kiss him. Especially, when those cerulean eyes were hooked on you, having a full blown monologue in his mind.

“Give up. You know you're going to lose,” he whispered against your ear in a gravelly voice.

“I won't. Kiss me if you're that desperate.” Even though you said that, it was driving you crazy that he was so close to you, yet you cannot kiss him.

“Oh you have no fucking idea how badly I want to. But my urge to see you lose control is stronger,” he blurted.

You knew how to play this game. You might be down bad for him but you were aware of one thing that makes him lose his mind. So...you played your ace.

Your fingers grabbed the hem of his shirt, stood on your heels since he was a little taller and moaned his name in his ears. That's all it took for him to just grab your lips with his. It never started soft. It couldn't since you tipped him over the edge.

“fuck baby! you make me lose my fucking mind,” he groaned as he brushed his body against you, where you could clearly feel his little general waking up.

“Toru mhm...” It took you all your strength to push his lips away to talk because he won't let go. “I know you lost our game but did you lose your mind too? We're in a room full of people.”

“Blame yourself sweetheart. Should've never started something you know won't end nicely.” His big hand squeezed your ass. “Wanna give them a show pretty? You know,” his fingers started playing with the fabric of your dress, “...that girl over there asked me out, because she thought we weren't together since you won't kiss me earlier.”

“Now why don't I just fuck you raw in front of her so she can get her answer?”

“You're fucking crazy, Toru.” It turned you on.

“Crazy about you. I am so hard for you. Feel,” he guided your hand to his hard on. You squeezed it to mess with him.

“Fuck! See?”

“Screw this party. Let's go home.”

Did you really think Satoru's gonna keep his dick outside your pussy for more than five minutes? You couldn't even make it out of the parking lot before he was touching you and kissing you all over again. The lights of the parking lot were dim and since everyone was enjoying the huge party, there was barely anyone there except for the valet who was dozing off.

“shit. toru...ngh can we at least—fuck! can we at least hit the corner of the road?”

“how many favors you gon' ask from me, princess?”

But he listens to you regardless. He pulls the car out of the dimly lit parking lot, the only sound emerging was the hum of the engine and your heavy breathing.

He drove for solid ten minutes—one hand rubbing your pussy through your panties—before he pulled over on a secluded road with almost no one around.

“Glad like we ditched that boring party for something much more interesting, didn't we?”

He grabbed your hand and placed it to his leaking cock through his black pants. It was hard to se because of the dark but now you could clearly feel the wet patch from the pre-cum on them. Shit. he really did hold out for long

His face had the saddest and most desperate look ever. You kissed his jaw as you unbuckled his belt and quickly freed his cock.

He took a deep breath, savoring your intoxicating scent as you leaned in, your soft lips brushing against his tip.

“Holy fucking god!” He moaned loudly when your warm mouth engulfed his cock. “Mmm, that's more like it, baby.” His tip was so swollen, so red. He needed this. He needed you.

He wrapped his hands in your hair, guiding your movements as you begin to bob your head, taking more of him into your mouth with each pass

“That's it, baby... fuck sss...” He hissed. “Take it all the way down. Let me feel those warm, wet walls squeezing my cock.”

He groaned softly as you hit a particularly sweet spot, making him jerking his hips upwards involuntarily “Fhuuck, that's so good, baby. Keep going, just like that. ah!”

He looked down at you, his blue eyes sparkling with pleasure as he watched you work your magic on his cock.

“You look so pretty with your mouth full of my cock, baby. Such a good little cocksucker. If I could, I would be stuffed in you 24/7”

He started to thrust his hips gently, fucking your face in slow, deliberate strokes.

“Mmm, yes... take it deep, sweetheart. Want me to fill you up? Yeah?” A grin laced his lips as he watched you nod a yes on his cock.

He grabbed the back of your head, holding you steady as he picked up the pace, his cock slamming against the back of your throat with increasing force.

“Good. Fucking. Girl. Fuck, yes! Squeeze that dick with your throat. Show me how much you need my cum.

His hold tightens in your hair as he neared the edge, the pleasure building to a fever pitch within him.

“Fuck! princess... I'm close. Gonna cum down your throat. Get ready to swallow every drop. Fuckfuckfu—aghh!” With a final, brutal thrust, he exploded, pumping jet after jet of hot cum directly into your waiting mouth.

“Swallow it all, baby...” And you did, lapping your tongue like a kitten to clean every drop off his cock. Panting heavily, he pulled you off his softening cock, his fingers tangling in your hair as he held you close

“Mmm, that was—fucking incredible! You always know just how to play with me.”

“Let's go home. toru...I am so wet. I can't take it.” You complain.

“Aww, my poor baby. We can just fuck here if you can't wait.” He suggested as he wiped the sweat off your forehead.

“No. I want you to fuck me in all the positions. This is too cramped to try all that.” You bit your lip. Not another word was uttered as he revved up the engine again. Fuck. That might be the hottest thing he has ever heard you say and he wasn't going to waste another minute.

“Take a leave for tomorrow from work. Not gonna make it when I fuck you all night.” He said, one hand on the steering wheel with eyes filled with lust.

“Already did.” You winked and he groaned.

“You know I am gonna marry you, right?” You chuckled at his words. You were made for each other. There was no one else that could drive him this wild and there was no one else that can see this part of you. You turned to him for sex but now...you had found your soulmate in him.

[drdemonprince]

I’ve only just read your Burnout piece on Substack and it made me think of the anon you answered awhile back about anti depressants and anti anxiety medications.

I’m Autistic and am on anti anxiety medication which basically masked all the warning signs and symptoms of Autistic burnout. Those usual indicators I usually can pick up on which indicate I’m doing too much and not resting enough weren’t present on the medication.

I felt good (although very numb like the anon said) so I kept on taking on more and more and initially thought it was great! I’ve never been able to commit to things or work on multiple projects at once even ones that super interest and excite me because I get overwhelmed and burnt out quickly.

But without the warning signs I kept going and going until I started to feel really weird. Disassociated, not sleeping, upset stomach, drinking a lot. I thought everything was great so it took awhile to piece together that this is maybe what Autistic burnout results in when it’s covered by meds.

I’m now slowly withdrawing from the meds. I figure the authentic anxiety is better than false measures of “success”.

So just a warning to Autistic people I guess, I don’t know if what I’ve experienced is common or just subjective but it’s worth being aware of.

This is pretty much how I feel about psychiatric medication for myself, as well. I want the warning signs. I want to notice my body and brain rebelling. A lot of psychiatric drugs are somewhat effective at making us feel more numb, for a while, which is why they are used as a stopgap when a person's situation is unmanageable. I'm a big believer in the "Affect as Information" Hypothesis: when we feel like shit, that means something about our circumstances simply has got to change. Often that means giving up responsibilities, letting people down, letting things go.

I even feel the same way about weed. I have a lot of friends who use weed daily to manage their overwhelm, and it seems to work great for them, and potentially I should be doing the same thing. But I am terrified of having a massive dependence on a large quantity of weed in order to function, and when I *did* use weed daily, it became a baseline need and made me dissociate even further from myself. I now take the desire to use weed or otherwise get blasted as a signal that something is amiss and that I'm overwhelmed and seeking escape -- that doesn't mean I don't listen to that desire some of the time. I get high and/or drunk on the weekends pretty often. But I don't want to lose touch with my body's warning system. AND I have the immense luxury of being able to change my life circumstances when things get to be too much. If someone doesn't have that freedom, well, sometimes substances are the best thing you can get - be that psychiatric or off market.

[copperhawks]

You're not the first person to make this comparison on this post, but when I wrote this, I hadn't done a re-read of SOTL yet (and the last time I'd read In the Hand of the Goddess was... a LONG time ago, so I couldn't really make a good comparison between these two scenes), but I have now and I've been sort-of thinking this over and have some thoughts on it.

For me, this isn't so much an indication of them being similar so much as it is just an unusually similar narrative beat. A character chooses to disobey an order about not crossing a border during a war in order to go save someone who has been captured and, in so doing, takes out a major antagonist that leads to the end of the war.

But the MOTIVES behind the two actions seem very different to me. Jon goes to save Alanna because he's in love with her and can't bear to lose her. Kel goes to save the refugees because she's responsible for them and takes that extremely seriously. She does CARE about the people, obviously, it's still being done out of love, but she's not doing it because she can't stand to live without them so much as that she's INSANELY duty-driven. She goes up to save Lalasa for similar reasons after being told that a noble's duty to their servants is basically sacrosanct. Kel goes across the border because she believes it's the honorable thing to do. Jon's motives aren't about honor and are, arguably, somewhat more selfish in origin.

So while this is obviously a very similar storyline, I don't find that it's an example of these two characters being similar to each other.

Kel is willing to give up EVERYTHING out of a sense of duty to the people she's responsible for. While Jon is someone who does a LOT of things for his people and spends a lot of his time and energy making life better for them, I can't recall a moment where Jon is ready to give up everything he wants and everything he's worked for just to save his people. Jon actually tells Kel in Squire that he and Thayet work pretty hard to keep themselves OUT of that kind of danger whenever possible, that's the point behind all of the compromises. All of the arranged marriages for his kids are to try to ensure peace through political connections and stop fighting in wars.

This is where they DO differ because Kel feels like someone who, at least at this point in her life, is willing to die to protect her people. But Jon is someone who will do whatever it takes to LIVE for his people for as long as possible. Jon understands that, in his position, it's more beneficial for everybody for him to make compromises in order to stay alive so he can keep making changes that will make people's lives better in the long run. This is a lesson that, while we do see Kel LEARNING it a little during Lady Knight, isn't one that really plays into the final conflict of the book. It's possible that Kel will end up being even more like Jon in this way as she gets older, more willing to stay back herself and trust others to do what needs to be done in her place, but by the end of Lady Knight, that just isn't who she is yet.

And maybe that's what's interesting about the comparison. Kel isn't all that much like Jon YET, and she's certainly not all that much like Jon when HE was 19, but Kel shows signs of being a lot more like Jon as he is during HER series as she gets older and gains more experience. Kel is very righteous, very inclined to just act and get things done, but over the 9 years we get to know her, she has to learn more and more about when to act and when to WAIT. She has to learn when to push and when to bend a little.

As a woman, she's going to be held to different standards than her male counterparts like Raoul or Wyldon, she'll be dealing with different limitations and setbacks than they ever did. And so her approach to leadership will, by necessity, have to be different than theirs was. She does look to them for inspiration, but in execution, I think she'll likely end up far more like Jon. Jon is obviously not a woman himself, but as King he's ALSO held to different higher standards than his compatriots and he was very young when he took the throne and has been very progressive throughout his reign which means he's dealing with certain limitations and setbacks that more conservative people might not.

Kel has strong opinions and firm ideas of what the world SHOULD be like, and that's going to lead her down a similar path of trying to CHANGE things, but she'll be dealing with all of the same limitations that Jon is, which will force her to approach things the way he does. She's going to have to compromise, she's going to have to bend, she's going to have to learn when a fight is worth having, she's going to have to learn to give a little in order to get a little later.

Kel would probably not have crossed the border for just one person. If it had been Neal, for example, and Neal alone, she may not have decided to take that risk. Neal is a trained knight like herself and probably won't thank her for giving up everything to come save him. Kel could probably have been convinced not to cross the border for him, as much as it would've pained her. And Jon I think would not necessarily give up everything to save a few hundred people the way Kel did, even though it would pain him to have to make that choice.

Kel IS like Jon and will likely become even more so as she ages, but crossing the border just isn't one of those places where their similarities are showcased to me.

The funniest thing to me about Kel, and maybe one of the most interesting because of how understated it is, is that Kel becomes a good commander in the end, not by emulating Wyldon who was cold and implacable and insensitive, or by emulating Raoul who mostly only disobeys orders out of principle or because he has an issue with what the order says about his personal relationship with Jon, but by emulating JON.

Kel doesn't even LIKE Jon, she BARELY respects him as a person. He's a good enough ruler that she's willing to fight for him and swear loyalty to him and to at least mostly believe that he wouldn't work with Blayce to make his own killing monsters, but that's as far as it goes for Kel. If he's kind to her, she finds it uncomfortable and almost untrustworthy because she assumes he doesn't care about her and so his kindness and respect towards her must be fake.

But from the outside, as readers, we know just how much Jon fought for Kel. We know how much he does respect her right to be a knight. Jon is the sole reason that Kel DID get the opportunity to prove herself, if he'd capitulated to Wyldon completely, she just wouldn't have ever been allowed to join. Kel doesn't KNOW THAT, obviously, but we do. We know that Jon did everything he could to find a way to convince Wyldon to let Kel become a page. While Wyldon claims later that the reason he chose to let her stay at the end of the probation year was because his better judgment convinced him she'd earned it, I'd be willing to bet that part of that better judgment also included knowing if he couldn't prove to JON that she needed to go, then he'd be in trouble. Kel was training and working in front of plenty of other trainers and teachers who could easily contradict Wyldon's lies if he'd tried it, many of whom are closer to Jon than they are to Wyldon.

Kel's experiences and feelings about that experience are entirely valid, and she doesn't have the knowledge we do about how hard Jon fought for her, so it's not shocking that she's upset with him for a good portion of her series. She never even discovers this truth by the end of her series, even though she does get a lesson from Jon and Thayet (and Raoul to some degree) about how politics and compromises work in order to make changes happen. So her opinion of him by the end is boiled down to the quote from Squire: "good kings weren't always good men." It makes sense for her to think this, but because Kel's knowledge base is so limited (and her worldview so black and white for much of her series), it makes her an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator about this particular issue.

Kel believes that while Jon generally does his duty and keeps the peace, he doesn't actually care all that much about his people as individuals. But in their only meaningful conversation in Squire, Jon is able to point out that he (and Thayet, who is actually equal to Jon in power, something Kel either doesn't know which would be a failure in her education or just tends to ignore so she can focus her ire on Jon) has to make a LOT of compromises in order to get ANYTHING useful done at all. Sometimes, often, it means making deals with people he doesn't like or people he just fundamentally disagrees with, because it's the first step in a multi-step plan to help more people in the long run. He also points out that just throwing his weight and authority around in order to be able to change everything he wants to change immediately regardless of what anyone else thinks about it is a great way to get himself and his family killed. Because even if he had good intentions, that would be tyranny. It does make Kel think a little, but she doesn't tend to like him much still afterwards, her resentment from her page years will always color her opinion of him a little.

However, then she gets to Haven and she's suddenly tossed into a position of leadership over a lot of other people, many of whom disagree with each other or disagree with her or both. And all of the sudden, Kel has to make compromises. She doesn't LIKE the way the sergeants often treat their men, especially the sergeants whose men are convicts, but there's very very little she can do about it without really pissing off those same sergeants and that's not something she can afford to do. There's a moment when Neal starts getting frustrated about the treatment of the convicts and she takes him out to vent to her so he doesn't vent to the sergeants, something that the sergeants would then take out on their men. Kel's reasoning as she does this is that she "preferred to avoid battles with them now so she would have authority with them later if she needed to use it." Later, Kel is talking to Daine and she says "That's all this job is... Trying to please everyone and pleasing no one. And it will only get worse, not better."

Both of these moments showcase Kel choosing to make compromises. She may not like the way the sergeants treat the convicts, but she needs to stay on the sergeants' good sides because she doesn't have enough resources to butt heads with them nor enough authority to just force the issue, and even if she DID, it could cause the sergeants to become troublesome or take out their frustration with her on the men in ways she can't see as well. But staying on the sergeants' good sides might mean letting some of their maltreatment slide if it's not physically harming the convicts. And even setting that aside, she's dealing with nearly 500 refugees eventually, all of which are from different towns in the area and have different needs, not all of which she can accommodate. This requires compromise. Sometimes she can please some of them and not others, but mostly she probably just ends up not pleasing anybody because that's often how compromises WORK.

She never makes the active connection to Jon and his lesson on leadership from Squire while she's in Haven, but that quote up there about how this job (aka being a commander) is all about trying to please everyone and pleasing no one? It sounds a HECK of a lot like "good kings weren't always good men." You can try your best to help others, but often doing the right thing can involve making everyone unhappy. You can't be everybody's friend if you're going to get anything done.

Some of this she might've learned from Raoul's style of command, but Raoul commands a fairly small amount of people (at least in comparison to a King), and so we see him able to be pretty friendly to the people he commands in a way that Jon is perhaps unable to do. And she might believe that she learned some of this from Wyldon, but Wyldon had a tendency to be very unfair and biased due to his raging bigotry and conservative values, as well as the fact that he doesn't actually even LIKE being a training master and that likely impacted the way he treated the pages (he's almost never that kind to the pages, whereas we see him capable of being quite kind with the refugees later, which is where Kel comes to the conclusion that he hadn't enjoyed being a training master).

But Jon makes an entire speech about how he (and Thayet) have been working THEIR ENTIRE REIGN to change laws that help people. He explains how they have to consider the needs of merchants, nobles, farmers, street people, priests/priestesses, and mages. They have to consider not only what these people might need or want, but also what they could do when they feel sufficiently offended and how that could impact not just the royal family or the nobility but the realm as a whole. Jon points out that they HAVE made changes, for the better, and that just because they don't always succeed at everything or because they have to compromise sometimes, doesn't mean they aren't working at making changes or that they don't care about helping people. Not everyone you have power over is going to be your friend, they might not even be someone you like. But if you're going to take on the job of leadership, that's something you have to be willing to accept and work with, which often means making compromises with people whose needs and values are contradictory to your own.

Jon probably knows when he makes the compromise with Wyldon that it will likely impact a lot of people's good opinion of him. Alanna is right there and clearly angry, and we know Thayet doesn't like the decision, either. And it's entirely possible that Jon knows in the moment that Kel herself will put the blame on him because he's the King. But he also knows that if he insists on Kel being allowed to be a page without trying to compromise with Wyldon, Wyldon will quit over it and he'll end up with ten DIFFERENT problems that could cause a lot bigger issues to far more people than just one girl. So he makes the compromise. He sacrifices Alanna and Thayet and even Kel's good opinion of him in order to ensure that Kel gets the opportunity to become a Knight without turning all of his nobles against him which could ultimately lead to a civil war. Is it fair? No, and he knows it. But it's the best option he has in order to get the outcome they all actually want which is just for Kel to have the chance to prove herself.

Kel has to make similar choices once she's finally in a position of leadership of her own. And whether she realizes it or not, without ever even spending more than a few minutes with Jon, she ends up emulating his leadership style more than anybody else's because it WORKS and it works WELL. She'll probably never admit it, she might never even realize it herself, but she's so much more like Jon than any of the other men she sees as role models. And I love that. I love the dramatic irony of that, that the one person Kel only barely respects because of a compromise he made on her behalf that she'll never even know about, is the person Kel ends up most resembling. Jon is the reason she has the opportunity to become the Protector of the Small in the first place, Jon is the person who created that environment that allowed her to nurture those values, and she'll probably never even really be able to acknowledge that, because sometimes that's what being a good leader means.

[lunarsilver]

How will you meet your next partner?

I've got a new deck and so I had to use it! Here's a short Lenormand reading.

REMEMBER

I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Divination will never replace meetings with them.

It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.

If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them, and that’s okay, too.

Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason for making it.

1 ~ 2 ~ 3

4 ~ 5 ~ 6

PILE 1

Key - Anchor - Moon - Snake - Stork

Openness for stability grounds one’s feelings and evokes the desire to start anew.

With the Moon in the center, the main themes of this reading are predictably your fears and feelings. It’s more about your mindset than anything else. I feel like people here either had only short or casual relationships, or never dated. You’ll meet your next partner when you’ll be open to the possibility of starting a new cycle and want something durable and secure. This suggests it will be a long-term relationship. 

PILE 2

Fish - Book - Heart - Woman - Sun

Wealth of knowledge makes the heart of a woman happy.

With the Heart in the center, the theme of this reading is, of course, love. We’re talking here about a romantic relationship. The Woman represents either you (if you are a girl/feminine) or your next partner. A lot of happiness comes from being well-read and well-informed. You’ll meet your next partner thanks to the abundance of your knowledge. Education is pretty important here.

PILE 3

Key - Cross - Ship - Crossroads - Bear

Liberation from rules and ideologies starts the journey of discovering the path to one’s own power.

Freedom. I have this word in my head while looking at the cards. With the Ship in the center, the theme of your reading is exploring your choices. After setting boundaries with a leader figure and making the painful choice between your responsibilities to this figure and your own freedom, you’ll start to choose what you think is right for you. That’s how you’ll meet your next partner - by becoming independent.

PILE 4

Bouquet - Owls - Mice - Anchor - Snake

(In the deck I use, there are two cards with the number 12 - Owls and Birds. I choose to interpret Birds more as gossip, anxiety and communication between a group of people, while Owls as more private, serious or intimate communication).

Flattering flirt weakens the fundamentals of desire. 

Sooo, do I have people here who are currently in a relationship but feel like it is crumbling and start to think about finding another one? If so, someone will go after you while you’re still in this relationship, which even further will weaken your desire for your current partner, and you’ll get into a new relationship. You know, pile four, better come clean with your current partner as soon as possible and don’t drag it more than it’s needed.

If you’re single, I think you’ll have some situationship that will lead nowhere. Like, it’ll start so nice, some flirting and maybe even some deep conversations, but there are skeletons in the closet of that person; or maybe they’re just all talk, no action. You’ll meet your next partner after this situationship ends.

PILE 5

Sun - Ship - Mountain - Tower - Coffin

A happy journey is slowed down by an obstacle of dealing with one’s ego/loss/loneliness.

Just saying, I find it pretty interesting how mirroring cards have the same signs - Sun and Coffin are Diamonds (Earth), Ship and Tower are Spades (Air) and Mountain is a club (Fire).

The theme of your reading is overcoming an obstacle - only after dealing with it will you be able to meet your next partner. You were going through life smoothly, but here it is - a problem. I’m not sure which meaning of the Tower will fit you, but you’re either too arrogant and have to work on your character (most likely someone will call you out on this), you’ll lose something or someone, and only after grieving and moving on you’ll meet your next partner, or on the way to meeting your partner stands the need to be more social.

PILE 6

Garden - Anchor - House - Fish - Dog

Well-known social conventions value devotion.

With the House in the middle, the theme of your reading is tradition. You’ll meet your next partner the old-fashioned way, maybe at some party or through your family. This relationship will be approved by most people around you. You and your next partner will start out as friends, and from there, loyalty and support will grow. This will be most likely a long-term relationship, maybe even marriage.

[millysastroblog]

⚡️Solar return chart 2022⚡️

Hello I’m am back with SR Chart observation as I promised from 2022, these are just personal observations and experiences if you haven’t experienced any sorts of things that’s complete fine. These are not facts neither predictions so don’t panic and think that the same situation will manifest for you. Alright ??? 😉

yeah let’s just get into it ! 🫶🏽

⚡️Cancer Rising:

This placement literally made me emotionally expressive and MOODY more than ever. From the start of that year i stayed at home for literally 3- 4 months after I dropped out of school. I very much enjoyed being at home with my family, cooking, cleaning doing domestic stuff . It was very interesting how the people in my environment started being very supportive and protective over my well-being like those of a little child. I definitely expressed my emotions openly : like randomly crying , huge outburst of laughter , or simply smiling a lot. I felt more caring and nurturing towards others . Thought about moving out surfaced a lot. Cancer is a very comforting energy but since it’s ruled by the moon there a lot of drastic unstable changes that could occur in once live.

⚡️Moon , North Node in the 12th house:

This placement brought a profound sense of isolation and introspection. I found myself naturally drawn to solitude, spending hours meditating, practicing yoga, or simply enjoying peaceful moments in nature. It felt like a spiritual awakening—connecting deeply with my intuition and exploring dreams that often felt like messages from a higher source. Meditation and Manifestation became a daily practice. While these moments of stillness were empowering, they also highlighted an inner restlessness and a desire to understand my true purpose. This phase was about healing, embracing the unknown, and surrendering to the flow of life.

⚡️Sun, Neptune, Jupiter in the 10th house:

Career and life path became the central focus during this time. I found myself dreaming bigger, envisioning a life where my efforts and aspirations aligned perfectly. I applied to different companies and got a new good job, I was in my hustling and bag area it was pretty good and productive year. I started thinking about the impact I wanted to have in the world like how I wanted to be perceived and what achievements I wanted to be known for. It was all about refining my goals, building a stronger work ethic, and setting the stage for future success.

⚡️SR Rising in natal 3rd house:

Communication became a major theme since I had went to a lot of interviews, had to reintroduce myself to different people which pushed me out of my comfort zone. Also writing job applications, or reconnecting with siblings, it felt like the universe was nudging me to refine my voice and share my thoughts more clearly. Short-distance travels were frequent, giving me a sense of curiosity.

⚡️Venus, Mars, Pluto in the 8th house:

Now these placements fucked meee upppp and I really mean they fucked my life up and turned it to 180

With Pluto being in my 8th house, the intensity of this year was amplified 10x. The 8th house rules transformation, trauma, money, intimacy, and taboo topics, so this energy hit hard. At the start, I was determined to open a bank and savings account, but it took forever with endless complications. I became obsessed with earning money—whether through my own efforts or others' help. Mars pushed me to focus on loans, investments, and financial security, while Venus amplified my desire for deep, soul-bonding relationships, intimacy, and, let’s be real... a lot of … Pluto, however, had other plans, flipping my world upside down. It made me face every fear and trauma regarding death, losing loved ones, intimacy, change, love, and even illness. I got sick for six months straight, lost friends, stability, and other things. It led to a mild depression, but in true 8th house fashion, I rose stronger. Now, I feel like Wonder Woman nothing and no one can shake me. I survived the storm, and that’s power. 💪🔥

⚡️Saturn in the 9th house:

Soo with this Saturn placement your girl has been hustling for good grades in school to not fail for the year. like since then I hated going to school bc it very stressful, and bad for my well-being , like I was always tense and stressed bc of school, in our normal societal living that is very much expected from us but honestly I just wasn’t having it. And even when i changed to another school it was the same shit like the environment and people were very cold ,strict and depressing I honestly didn’t had a nice time at school but at least I was motivated to study and learn as much as I can but at the end I decided to rather drop out because it was fucking with mental health. Also traveling long as hours for work and school purposes drove me crazy, that’s an area where I have been very disciplined at but It definitely took patience and determination to get there ;) .

⚡️Uranus, Chiron in the 11th house:

Guese who tf lost all their friends suddenly ??? And had a hard time fitting in new social groups because they felt different from everyone else:

🙋🏽‍♀️

(but no for real the energy is 10x intensified bc I have it natally additionaly Saturn is transiting my natal 11th house so yeah 🙁) not only did I loose most of friends but when engaging with different kinds of social groups I felt so uncomfortable and weird, like I had a very detached feeling. I hated to even be surrounded by groups of ppl that don’t hold the same value to mine or I that I can’t engage in intellectual topic of my interest. I was mostly bored asf when in interactions and stoped giving a fuck about trying too fit in and please their expectation and needs, I surely saw also trough the fake persona of a lot of ppl that I encountered and distanced myself even more. But It was that easy being all alone and isolated.

[dangermousie]

You know it's true obsession when I trawl trailers for stuff.

Anyway, some things that caught my attention.

This basically sums up why I am eating this up. A controlled man losing it utterly for love is my jam:

And the whole thing with why she doesn't talk - we see her as a little kid and the creepy voiceover from her mom.

Wonder if this accident/incident is connected to SML who is interested in some case and also talks about:

It or both of them could be somehow tied to ML's fam too since it's mentioned it has a lot of skeletons. Which makes me wonder if he's involved with kidnapping, which clearly comes back somehow.

I mean, we see what I think is somewhere in his apartment? office? on fire?

And she clearly gets kidnapped or somehow otherwise in danger for real again and he loses his ever loving mind.

I do like that kidnapper(s) is back for real because come on, he was never gonna walk, or if he was, people behind him weren't.

Wonder what she sees what freaks her out so much, whose hospital thing it is, and who's missing.

And yeah peeps are definitely after her (or him, or both) - look at the second cap:

And clearly someone is trying to run him over (why he doesn't move is beyond me; people in kdrama are all part deer, I swear, but I don't even care because she tries to protect him with herself!)

Also I am sorry, I am dead. I am sure it's after he finds out she's the "kidnapper" he's been talking to and such a contrast to her mom telling her to be little mermaid and forever silent.

(also that top cap mmmm)

Not related but the jealousy is sending me!

The way he lights into poor sfl ahahaha dude just go unga-bunga and get your club preparing to drag her to your cave ahahah. I mean:

Like dude she knew him in college and thinks he's nice. This is a step from "you know other men" meme ahahahhahaha seeing Mr Cool be driven mad is and will be so delicious.

[arcane-ish]

I think that is a really interesting speculation and it doesn't seem to me that unlikely, especially since Amanda loves Caitlyn and I presume she was heavily involved in the culmination of their relationship. I can easily picture her making time for that.

It would also make a lot of sense with the themes of the show, especially for those of us who see some visual parallels between Caitlyn and Silco this season and Silco was a character heavily shaped by trauma.

That said, irregardless of what happened between Jinx and Caitlyn, I doubt it will change the critique of people who critique her from the "systemic" POV. Who approach it as "everybody has trauma, but because Caitlyn is in such an exalted and oppressor position, she just has completely different levers to pull, ways to make other people suffer for it than Jinx or Vi have". Because Caitlyn can just terrorize an entire city without even having to put in much personal effort. (and just because the show might not be about political issues doesn't change that certain people will insist that it should be understood that way, regardless of whether the characters or the writers understand it like that. ie just because maybe the writers didn't mean a save the damsel or fridge the girlfriend story to be sexist doesn't mean that people will see it as being part of a larger sexist narrative)

I feel like in the end, the people who already sympathize with her will sympathize even more deeply with her and the ones who don't likely won't be impressed just because Caitlyn's trauma was slightly worse than just losing her mother.

(which in the end is maybe another parallel to Silco, having had genuine trauma in his past and genuinely loving Jinx doesn't magically make him not a bad person anymore, so why would it be different for Caitlyn if she had genuine trauma and genuinely loves Vi)

The more interesting aspect is probably the character level. If Vi hears about it and she loves Cait and she sympathizes, does that mean that Vi will never forgive Jinx or never feel comfortable around her again?

From a shippy point of view I just don't think that it can work for Caitlyn to tell her story and for Vi and stand up and make excuses for Jinx. So the only thing that could work would be if Caitlyn got to a point where she learned to sympathize with Jinx (ie no longer blame Jinx because she sees it as Jinx having a mental illness).

I just have a hard time picturing that on a show as violent as this they can really do much to "impress" people. I just think that there's a low chance that they would go for something like rape. I guess Caitlyn could reveal that she has scars on her body that are underneath her clothes (which certainly would be a good setup for CaitVi in my ways), though I personally that doesn't seem like Jinx's typical modus operandi? I guess there could have been something related to drowning (to parallel Silco) or gas (as this is something that has been done by several characters on the show by now). But just Jinx saying cruel things to her and dragging her around is not going to impress the Cait-dislikers.

Even if it's still going to be a powerful moment for Caitlyn and Vi, less for how what Jinx did was particularly awful, but for how Caitlyn kept it bottled up (with the timeskip at least a couple of weeks, maybe months) and is finally opening up about it to Vi. (could maybe fit nicely into Cait having issues being emotional with Vi/always pulling back, back in s2Act1)

Basically, I assume the emotional performance will be excellent and it's going to be serve as a great and satisfying explanation for Caitlyn x Vi shippers as to why Caitlyn broke up with Vi in Act 1 (and pacifiy the people whose main anger against Cait was that she hurt Vi). But it might not move the needle for people who think Caitlyn sucks for using The Grey on Zaunites.

In this interview Amanda said something that caught my attention. Do you think that in ep 8 Caitlyn will talk about what Jinx did to her when she kidnapped her? Bc Amanda said that in ep8 there's a Caitlyn line that will make us say "Oh so that's why"

Amanda means this line that Cait is going to say will let us know why she was so mad at Jinx in ep 3 and how Caitlyn went completely blind when she saw Jinx in her target and bc of her anger and also her fear and terror of Jinx, Cait has completely lost control of herself in this moment. (there is someone who made a post on this topic @loycos and talked about what happened to Cait in ep3 and how Cait didn't see Vi or Isha in front of her bc of her anger and her deeply terrified of Jinx) I mean look at her eyes and the expression on her face, yes she looks angry but she is also terrified.

This is a natural reaction. I mean for example, imagine that you see something that scares you so much. There are two reactions, either flight or fight, and these reactions always come without a person thinking. At this moment the person is only thinking about getting rid of the thing that scares him, and he does not focus on what is around him bc these strong feelings control him.

Anyway, what makes me sure that this scene might happen in ep 8 (Caitlyn talking about what happened to her when Jinx kidnapped her) is Reed Shannon (Ekko VA) comment when he saw the drawing and said "I thought this was a leak" Reed might be joking as usually, but why this particular drawing and why he chose this word "leak".

But honestly if this scene actually happened and we knew what happened to Caitlyn, it would make us understand more why she was so angry and scared of Jinx when she saw her in front of her and it would also explain why she literally went blind and didn't see anything around her at that moment, neither the child nor Vi, all Cait saw was Jinx, she just wants to bring down Jinx. I mean look at these pictures she is so terrified of her

Again Caitlyn's insistence on killing Jinx in the scene in ep 3 was not only motivated by revenge on Jinx, but also out of fear and terror of her.

And not like those idiots who say that Caitlyn wanted to kill the child on purpose to get to Jinx or even say that she wanted to kill Vi too, or bc she's a cop and the cops kill children and blah blah... That's really ridiculous and annoying!! Bc if we focus a little bit on the period that Caitlyn went through we will see that Cait didn't have time to process all these things that happened to her, from the torture that happened to her when Jinx kidnapped her, then the killing of her mother, then the attack on the memorial ceremony. (I know that Jinx is not the reason, but from Caitlyn's perspective she thinks that Jinx and the Silco followers are the reason)

And in the end I hope that no one comes who doesn't like the post bc I am defending Caitlyn's character. If you don't like this character I don't care, there is no need for you to write a stupid comments. Please don't tire your little fingers if you don't like my post block me this is better for you and me. I will not waste my time responding to you, I will delete your comment and block you immediately.

I am a student at the Faculty of Psychology, and when I talk about trauma and the interpretation of human behavior and reactions, I know well what I am talking about. Bc most of the characters' reactions in this show are very realistic and need to explanation, writers do not want to explain everything in the show, they want viewers to occupy their mind and explain the events themselves (And I still repeat the point that the show focuses on the development and complexity of the characters more than anything else, and does not focus on solving political issues, the show is not about politics, okay)

And btw some people ask me about my opinion of Jinx's character, I have no problem with her character at all, I like her and I understand her condition, when I criticize her actions, it doesn't mean I hate her.

One day I may do a post about her character development and her condition, but I see that there are many posts about her and her actions, and I feel like I won't say anything new about her. Unlike the rest of the characters like Vi and Caitlyn, there are not many people talking about them. And maybe I will make a Viktor post bc I really like the development of his character. When the show ends, maybe I will.

[spinchip]

What is Nya's relationship w/ Skylor, actually? I think they'd be rlly interesting here, especially with Nya as the more aggressive go-getter like Kai was in canon at that point. What's Skylor's relationship with *all* of the Ninja? Does the Kailor subplot still happen??? So many questions....

Most important question of all though: WHAT do Nya & Zane's personalized rooms look like,,,, 👀👀👀

skylor and nya- I think Nya and Sky have a... more surface level friendship at first. Nya is just excited to meet all these people with powers like hers and test herself and her limits that she ends up only getting to hangout with Skylor a little bit before everything goes to shit lol. I think they're definitely friends- Skylor willing to offer up info on some of the others and Nya eager for any upperhand she can get in the coming fights. but Nyas more focused of winning than she is socializing, so Skylor ends up left behind to her.

Skylor and Kai- i think kailor does still happen similar to in canon, but it's very loose. Kai is there to take care of Nya and then, accidentally, he's there to take care of Lloyd. there's not enough room in his mind to lose focus on Skylor- though he does. he does. i think in this AU kai has a lot more pressure on himself to succeed. he's got to do everything right. put four weapons back on the map, make money to pay bills, give nya a better life- he's had to make sacrifices. he hasn't really had the time to consider dating. he feels a connection with Sky and he wants to see where it goes, but... he's got Nya and Lloyd to look after. i think Skylor starts to lose her nerve to help her father because she sees Kai with his family and knows that she's looking at what she never had- unconditional love and support. she looks at kai and sees a wonderful, responsible, lonely man. she can see herself in him. she admires him. they make me ill

as for the rest of the ninja, she's not really standout. Zane does not know who she is to chen. she's chens best kept secret until it's time to reveal all his cards!!

Nya's room has a personal letter from Chen saying he's looking forward to seeing her skills because Water is an especially formidable element. there is also lots of ocean motifs and weaponry lining the walls.

Zanes room is... pretty plain, all things considered. a big, comfortable bed. a nice ornate chest of drawers he can unpack his bag into. mugs and tea and a teapot. a perch for falcon. it's designed to be very comfortable and homey.

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Fives Thoughts

Sooooo I literally just made a post being like 'here are some fun bits from Umbara because the arc is depressing and I don't wanna talk about the sad bits' but uh... I had thoughts in the last 15 mins and now I wanna share them. 😃

And of course tagging as usual for people I'm interested to hear opinions from: @saturn-sends-hugs @inkstainedhandswithrings @the-bi-space-ace

It's been a while since I watched these story arcs back-to-back, so a lot of the character development is really showing atm. And one I find interesting is a shift in Fives between The Citadel and Umbara.

Fives has always had a bit of a firey personality, but up until this point he's been a little bit held back with that passion for the most part. And I'm gonna touch in something that @novaceleste and @spaceyjessa spoke about in their podcast (@coffeeandclones I was just listening to it the other day and they talk about some interesting points. Defo recommend you check it out. Also #JusticeForDroidbait2024) because it really is the basis for this whole point. Despite Fives being the brasher, slightly more hardheaded personality, and Echo being the more by-the-books one, it's Echo that tends to do a lot of the talking when authority is involved. When they speak to Shaak Ti, it's Echo that takes the lead, while Fives is a little more hesitant.

And when they first meet Rex and Cody, Fives automatically introduces himself as CT-27-5555, despite being very open about his displeasure of being called that throughout their training. He has this louder personality but he tends to draw into himself and panic slightly when put in front of authority.

However, he still has these more fiery moments, like during his speech in ARC Troopers. When he's put in a fight, that spark within him comes out full force. "My blood is boiling for a fight." That's what drives Fives. That's where that passion comes from. He always wanted to make ARC trooper, to prove himself and to demonstrate that fire in the fight.

And yet when we get to the Citadel, he's surprisingly nervous. Echo seems to be fairly on board with everything, he's listening intently, he's down with the plan. But Fives is rather hesitant and doesn't seem totally enthused about the whole thing. They've made ARC trooper, they're being included in a specialist mission, the things that Fives so desperately worked for. But now that they're here? He's really not comfortable with it.

And I think that Fives' passion and drive is so prominent in the heat of battle because his adrenaline is going, he's got the energy to burn and so that's when we see this fire in him. But in the quieter moments, the meetings, the in-between fights? He's nervous. Those are the moments where he can sit on it and really think about what they're up against. And what becomes really apparent is that Fives is absolutely terrified of the thing that fuels his fire. The thing he worked so hard for scares the absolute shit out of him. And for good reason.

But it's never been so much of an issue because he had Echo. Echo, who's more level headed, who feels comfortable with plans and formats and authority. He could be the comforting presence that Fives needed outside of battle, while Fives could be the spark in it. They're like fire and water. They keep each other regulated, balanced.

But then The Citadel happens.

And watching the Umbara arc, I noticed that Fives doesn't have that very noticeable fear. It's not that it's absent, it's just that it isn't so obvious all of the time. Of course, some of that is going to come with experience, he's been an ARC for longer, he's know Rex for a while so there's slightly more comfort with that level of authority, but he's definitely more consistently confident than he was before.

So my suggestion is, what if that comes as a result of losing Echo (at least in part)? He doesn't have that calming presence anymore, the one to balance his nerves. He doesn't have someone to stand firm beside him or take the bigger step for the two of them, so he's had to learn to do that himself. I think part of it is natural growth that comes with experience (to quote Rex: "experience outranks everything") but I do also think it comes with no longer having that constant other half. Fives has had to learn to balance himself.

Like I said earlier, a lot of this links back to stuff said in Nova and Jessa's podcast, so I'd recommend checking it out. But I just wanted to add my extra thoughts on it, having just watched Umbara, because it definitely stuck out to me on this rewatch.

[mangora]

Something I think about a lot is the people who went to school or lived in the same neighborhood as the ROTI cast seeing them on TV. Everyone in Cameron’s neighborhood knew that a kid lived in that house but they never knew or even really saw him; and now they get to know him for the first time, and they feel this weird mix of pride for him, as well as melancholy or even anger at the fact that he was kept inside his whole life. Lightning was a star in his community and everyone thought he had an idyllic life, until they saw the finale and found out how much pressure he’d been under all those years, and they can’t see him the same way when he comes back. Zoey was an outcast at her high school and was ignored or even picked on by most of her peers, and they only realized how much of an impact that had on her when they watched her struggle to make connections over and over again until she lost her first real friend and snapped. No one liked Scott, everyone thought he was an asshole and knew he only got by via cheating and lying— but seeing him near catatonic after that shark attack, they can’t help but feel horrified on a deep personal level, and remember some of the good or just pitiful things Scott did, and wonder if he really deserved something that terrible. Jo was bullied but never seemed intimidated or effected by it; when everyone sees her struggle with her body image, or worry about the things she hasn’t done yet, or slip up and smile or help someone out, it both makes them realize that she’s weaker than they thought and also that they’re wrong for being happy about that. Similarly, Mike was widely treated as a freak and a delinquent, and had barely if any friends; seeing him open up about his DID on TV and learning where DID comes from created this sense of crushing guilt and horror for everyone who’d ever picked on him or written him off or spread rumors behind his back. Anne Maria was beloved by people at her school and in her neighborhood, and seeing how people like Zoey treated her and watching her lose was devastating. Brick was always known to have a heart of gold, and while seeing that on TV was inspiring for some of his friends and peers at boot camp, it made him a new target for other kids and commanders, who saw him as soft and effete and not worth wasting time on. Sam never had many friends due to his nerdy interests and social awkwardness, and after seeing how kind he was on the show, everyone wishes they’d given him a chance. Seeing Dawn properly mad at Scott during her elimination is super uncanny to everyone who knew her as the calm and collected local cryptid, and it reminds them that she’s human (or at least humanoid) and makes them take her more seriously. B’s community was rooting for them, since everyone knew how smart and thoughtful they were; seeing him get deadnamed by Chris and then get taken down by Scott made them genuinely mad on their behalf. Watching Dakota’s last moments as a normal human girl was horrifying for everyone who knew her, especially because after the episode aired there was nothing they could do about it. Staci went on the show as the annoying girl who lied for attention, and she left the same way; no glory, no gold, just humiliation.

And this isn’t even mentioning what their families felt watching the show, whether that be fear or pride or disappointment or anger— either at Chris and the show or even at their own child, in some cases. Like, could you imagine coming back home to your family, your friends, your neighbors, your teachers, your coworkers, after they’d seen you at your worst or most vulnerable on international television— after everyone who’d ever scrutinized or believed in you watched you lose big time. The horror and/or tragedy of ROTI doesn’t end or even really start with the radioactive island; the things that led them there and the things they returned to could be dismal or scary in their own ways.

Anyways I’m so normal about them rghhhhhh

[raayllum]

Ezran trailer analysis time

Specifically that one vision he has of his parents because it was framed differently than I'd expected, and I think it's all the more interesting for it, so let's talk about it.

Beyond being utterly gut wrenching, I think the framing of this scene says a lot. Losing Katolis isn't just losing his home, but losing his parents all over again. Ezran never got to know Sarai, but he knew they walked the same halls and ate at the same people, knew some of the same people. He's been constantly working towards being the king both he and his father wish Harrow had been, which is simultaneously a more true (Harrow was imperfect) and less true aspiration (Harrow could've been perfect if he'd followed these steps) to grasp, let alone understanding of his father.

Because this is how he pictures his parents, but that's never how they actually were.

Sarai never stood off to the side just holding his father's hand. We never actually see Harrow sit in his throne (unless I'm forgetting something) in any of the flashbacks we're privy to, but just in Callum's dark magic fever dreams. When Sarai and Harrow ruled, they ruled side by side, both with their own throne. But all Ezran can picture is his version of his father with his imagination of his mother; Sarai as a companion and support but not queen to the father forced to rule alone after her death, which was all Harrow had ever known.

It's honestly this scene more than anything that makes me think Callum will indeed stay in Katolis by the end of the season. While there could still be alternatives (leaving for Xadia to study/teach magic, with Soren and/or others stepping further in to help Ezran feel less alone) or characterization reasons (I don't think Callum nor Rayla would want to spend their whole lives at court), this scene coupled with Ezran ruling alone ("It's not fair you have to go through this alone") as well as the emphasis of his and Callum's bond being at odds and then repaired this season + Dreamer's Nightmare ("Think of it as being like a protector, like your mother")... I don't know, something about how Sarai and Harrow are framed, making them the uneven towers of Katolis as is, while also being inaccurate... Callum standing by Ezran's throne in a similar manner maybe wouldn't change the inaccuracy of the flashback / vision (which could be framed like that just for convenience's sake) but it would change the vibe.

You've got me, Rayla, probably Bait. We're all here for you. (2x03)

I'm here, I'm your partner, your brother and protector, and I'm not going anywhere.

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

Okay, I need to get this out of my system.

I have planned to post the sequel to my YOI novelisation in exactly a month from now. My beta said that the sequel feels like an actual continuation of YOI and a friend is even drawing a cover picture, which is just so amazing. But the more I think about it, the more it seems like I'm bound to regret releasing this story a couple of weeks later.

I won't lie. CYHMH had the total opposite of a dream start. I even paused the story for an entire year to get a beta reader because I failed to keep my audience interested and concluded that it was obviously bad. Or maybe it only did so poorly because it can't compete with other novelisations. I don't know and I don't want to know because if I learned the truth, I would probably shoot myself.

The story has 600+ kudos, but that's not reflected in the hits/chapter at all despite all the improvements I've made. The number of hits/chapter which had skyrocketed for a brief time span earlier this year (aka after I resumed posting the improved version) has decreased by 75% since June and hasn't recovered since. Often, I lose bookmarks and subscriptions within hours after posting a new chapter, which couldn't be a more obvious feedback.

I see this loss in interest also reflected in my chapter announcements and previews (not they had ever been great to begin with). Often, I'm the only person reblogging them because rarely anyone else does. On the other hand, my post that I would postpone the latest chapter due to the US elections was so popular and the contrast to the reactions when I finally posted that chapter was so huge that I wonder if people just want me to shut up and stop posting. To be honest, not posting would save me a lot of time and spoons because, let's be frank: writing for a mostly silent audience is just not it. (I have a little bit more engagement on other socials, but the downwards trend is the same there.)

There are only three chapters of CYHMH left to post. The story is at its climax and seeing the lack of interest and enthusiasm so close to the end is just so fucking disheartening after putting so much work into this story which I call my love letter to YOI. Maybe I don't write the kind of stories that inspire the majority of its readers to gush about it, but a part of me had been hoping for at least some people to be thrilled that the chapter was finally out. Or to be at least excited about the sequel. And I can't decide whether my writing just sucks that much to most people, if you're just silent because you only talk about my stories in some exclusionist fic club, or whether a sequel is just not wanted or needed due to the fandom being already saturated with that kind of story.

Would you guys prefer that I stop posting? If you really want to read my YOI sequel or just anything for that matter, I beg you to tell me and to support me.

[atomsforthewin]

#also it’s just like. I’m sorry but fanfic does not actually translate very well into original writing like people think it does#fanfic helps you hone many writing skills and more importantly#it allows you to practice a lot without the same pressures and judgments you’ll face with original writing.#but like. there are many essential writing skills that fanfic allows you to just. never develop.#and it WILL show if all you do to make something ‘original’ is sand down your fanfic until it’s no longer recognizeable as fanfic.#like I don’t think fanfic writers realize how much of the appeal of their fanfic would be lost if the people choosing to read it did not#already have a pre-established familiarity and love for the characters.#in fanfic this entirely the point so it’s not like it’s a crutch but in original writing you do not have that pre-established familiarity#or love and if you - due to only ever writing fanfic - have never learned how to introduce characters in a way that pulls people in even#though they don’t know the characters completely yet - like. no one is going to want to read your original work.#and fanfic also heavily relies on settings and tropes that are enormously popular almost entirely BECAUSE characters people are already#interested in are being put in them. like…what I mean by that is a coffee shop au’s appeal is that characters you already love#are being put in it. a coffee shop story loses a significant amount of appeal when it’s no longer ‘your favorite characters but in a coffee#shop’ and instead is ‘characters work in a coffee shop.’ ya know?#like my point here isn’t ‘fanfic settings/tropes/etc. suck’ it’s ‘fanfic settings/tropes/etc. are designed for fanfic.’#fanfic has its own conventions that are perfect for fanfic - and awful in original work.#if you’re a fanfic writer who is interested in writing original work that’s awesome - but you will have to read original works and practice#original writing methods if you want people to want to read your original writing.#people who alter their fanfic so that it reads as original are trying to take a short cut that doesn’t exist.#tl;dr writing original work is its own skill that takes hard work and practice like any other. sorry.

Excellent addition by @undead-moth

I may be new to all this but I don't understand why people hate on "filing serial numbers off" fanfiction and publishing it?

If a person did a good job (not like 50 shades or something) and they have an audience and they want to publish (not saying they have to but they want to publish) why not?

--

Well, principally, because some of the people who do this do so by treating their peers in fandom as an audience and a testing ground for their hustle culture bullshit.

And partly because the resulting works usually are pretty flawed. Most people who want to do this would be far better served by just writing a new work using the lessons they learned writing fic rather than by extensively reworking an old story. (The same is true, incidentally, of most people's original drawer novels.)

I write original novels, and they do have an audience... An audience of people who signed up in the first place to pay money for original novels.

I also have fandom friends. Some have bothered to check out my original work; some have not. They might become fans of my work. They might check out the first book just to be nice. But mistaking the latter as the beginning of the former or expecting the latter of everyone you know is a good way to not have any more friends.

The idea that someone should grow their audience and not just practice their skills in fandom, then directly parlay that audience into some kind of career is exploitative garbage that poisons our social spaces.

[chickenkurage]

"The Author" (Reality Warped AU)

This is the villain.... "Alan"

He's not that scary yet XP...... Anyways, lore!

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Summary/Synopsis:

Imagine sitting at your desk, writing the ending of your own book. When all of the sudden you wake up in a world that you literally made! Goodness this is an author’s wet dream! At least that’s what Alan is supposed to feel, until he remembers what kind of person “Alan” is in his story….

Where Alan Becker, the author of Animation vs Animator and his standalone Animation vs Minecraft (kudos to Mojang) was suddenly sucked in his own book, now he finds himself in place of his self insert character named “Alan”.... He’s supposed to be glad because he’s meeting his own creations (his own characters! Can you believe that?!), until he remembered he’s the “supposed” villain of the story.

Oh well, he can change things up right?

Ugh, right…. He is the villain, and being a villain means it’s hard to gain your character's trust (why did he even write his character as a villain?......a right because he couldn't think of any other villain, so naturally he wrote himself as one.... ugh).

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LORE:

“Alan” in this AU is the villain, the creator of victim, The Chosen One, The Dark Lord and The Second Coming: The Chosen One’s Return. He was the worst out of the worst, he only thought of them as some play toy. Telling them what to do, and such. He was the fucking worst, at least to their point of view…. Actually, scratch that, he was the worst to everyone’s eyes. Even the Color Gang hates Alan (and somehow, they were the “chillest” out of them all). They were so used to Alan treating them like dirt at this point. Then all of the sudden he’s all kind now? What games is he playing?

Alan Becker is just an author, a really well-known author that created Animator vs Animation, originally a story he created as a teen then he tweaked it a little bit when he got older (his writing was atrocious, it clearly needed some work). But nevertheless, he was proud of his work, he even gained a fandom because of it. Met a lot of people too, and friends too! As a child, he always wanted friends on his own computer, always fantasizing how he would be with them and how fun it would be. So naturally he made a story, and that story became a sensation years later. He really should be thankful for his family and friends for giving him a push to actually publish it. After losing his interest in drawing (he clearly was not improving) he decided to just hone his writing skills better, after all a lot had said he was better at writing than drawing. And somehow, he’s glad he actually continued it. So, tell him, why the fuck did he suddenly wake up in his own story?!?! Not only that, but he also has no face?! Oh god he has no face (actually it was his fault for not really going in depth on how “Alan” looks like, now he suffered the consequence of losing his own face).

Now he's stuck as his own self insert character, forced to play a villain role, before deciding, fuck it and fed his characters kindness and love, because for the life of him he cannot act like an asshole; he feels too bad............ Naturally, he also knew how the story would end, and it won't end on a good note. So thankfully, acting kind will MOST PROBABLY change their ending... Hopefully, oh god out of all books he gets sucked into, it's his own book which probably has so many plot holes?! Someone please save him now!!!

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Here is your well-deserved lore everyone! We finally got another Alan who isn't crazy, turned crazy, evil, a terrorist need I say more? - S