#i think I'll post the wholesome stuff I have wrote for the two of them

[rispwr]

─ Is it love or a panic attack? - KNJ - mini

pairings : mutual friend !joon x fem! reader

genre : mutual friend2lover, stranger2l, friend2lover, fluff, slight bickering, no smut

"Is it love or a panic attack? Is a heavy heart too much to hold? I don't know, but it's late, so I'm taking you home"

contents : bestfriends friend! namjoon, bestfriend friend! reader, fashion majorl! reader, (lowkey continuation of the side couple in my other fic iiwyidm but in readers pov), joon can cook and drive here, slight bickering to lovers?, nice hot nerd! namjoon, psych major! joon, panic attack by halsey inspired, oc is high not just drunk btw not just drunk. thought i'd wanna put this here cuz i don't think i remember making a scene of her trying stuff out.

WC : 2k

note : this has been in my drafts for a whileee so i thought i would wanna post it. i don't even know if i wanna continue this. i wrote this like 2 yrs ago actually when i had just started writing so pls don't expect this to be good.

"I think I like you." I said, grinning drunkenly at Namjoon.

-----

Now, you're probably wondering how that happened.

It all started earlier that night.

"Yeah, yeah, Mia, just go hang out with your boyfriend, and I'll... be over here." I said, waving her off toward Jungkook.

I sank onto the couch, sulking and nursing my bruised ego. I'd been rejected by my crush earlier, and honestly? I just wanted an excuse to drink. Maybe cry. Definitely drink.

Mia didn't seem too care. she was used to my pattern by now.

 Meet a guy, catch feelings, get rejected, cry about it, and then move on to someone new. Repeat.

So there I was, at this random party, already a few shots deep and ready for some poorly thought-out decisions. That's when someone called out for a game of Spin the Bottle, Seven Minutes in Heaven edition. I figured, why not? It sounded like the kind of distraction I needed.

The group formed a circle around a beer bottle, rules quickly laid out: Whoever the bottle lands on spins it next, and whoever it lands on after that, well... the two of you head into a room together for seven minutes. Then, depending on how long you last in the room, you drink the difference in minutes.

Sounded simple enough.

The bottle spun. It stopped... on me.

I sighed dramatically and leaned forward to give it a spin. My luck was already garbage tonight—what were the odds this would go well?

The bottle slowed, wobbled, and finally stopped.

On Namjoon.

Kim. Fucking. Namjoon.

I blinked, my tipsy brain scrambling to process. He was cute, hot, even. but I didn't really know him. The crowd erupted into cheers and whistles, and someone whispered, "He's so hot."

I smirked, mostly out of reflex, and reached out a hand to him. "C'mon, Joon. Let's give them a show."

His eyes widened, but he let me pull him up. The crowd roared louder as I led him to a bedroom.

--

"Look, we don't have to do anything—" Namjoon started, but I cut him off with a quick kiss.

"You're cute," I said, tracing my nails along his jawline. He tensed under my touch, and I couldn't help but notice... certain reactions.

cute.

"How much did you drink?" he asked, his voice careful.

"Six... shots?" I said, wrinkling my nose.

"You're tipsy, Y/N," he said, guiding me to sit on the bed. "I'm not doing anything."

I groaned, flopping backward dramatically. "Ugh, is this some kind of wholesome-guy act? Fine, then at least help me sell this."

When he still hesitated, I sat up. "If you don't want to get your hard dick wet by me, then help me!"

Namjoon's face turned bright red, and he looked like he might combust. "What are you even saying right now?"

"You heard me!" I shot back, my grin widening. "Moan. Bang the bed. Make it convincing for the assholes out there!"

Namjoon looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. "A-are you insane??" he muttered.

"Insanely clever," I said, clapping my hands. "Now hurry up!"

Reluctantly, he started bouncing on the bed, making it squeak. "Ugh, like this?" he grunted half-heartedly.

"Oh yeah, just like that, baby," I fake-moaned, clapping my hands against the mattress for extra effect.

Namjoon gave me the weirdest look but went along with it, groaning theatrically.

"I-I'm close, Joon!" I whimpered, fighting back laughter.

"F-fuck, me too," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I collapsed into giggles, and Namjoon just shook his head, clearly regretting every life choice that had led him here.

When the timer had about two minutes left, I sat up suddenly. "Okay, let's add some finishing touches."

"Finishing touches?" he echoed, confused.

"Hickeys," I said matter-of-factly.

"What?!"

"C'mon, just one! It'll make it more believable."

Before he could protest, I leaned in and sucked a mark onto his neck. Then another. 

And another.... okay! i admit it! i got carried away.

"Now you do me!" I demanded, gesturing at my own neck.

Namjoon sighed in defeat but leaned in, gently leaving two marks of his own. He pulled back and looked at me, his expression a mix of exasperation and admiration. as if he'd made a piece of art. 

3,

2,

1...

"Time's up," I announced, grabbing his hand.

We opened the door to find four people pressed against it, practically falling into the room. Namjoon and I exchanged a look before I winked at the group.

"Hope you enjoyed the show," I said sweetly as we walked past them.

----

We walked back to the circle of people, their "Oooohs" echoing around us as we sat back on the floor.

"Was he good?" someone asked with a sly grin. 

"You're so lucky, Joon," another teased, nudging him.

I subtly adjusted my clothes, pretending like something had actually happened. "Oh, he was good, okay? Shut up," I said, rolling my eyes, but my smirk gave me away.

Namjoon just looked down, a faint pink coloring his cheeks as the teasing continued.

A few minutes passed, and a few more people had their turns with the bottle, and i drank abit more.

"I'm done. I'll go home," I announced, drunkenly getting to my feet, wobbling slightly. Namjoon was quick to steady me, placing a hand on my arm.

"Can I—uh—can I take you home?" he asked, his voice soft.

"What? You tryna get in me for real this time?" I slurred, laughing at my own joke.

Namjoon stammered, looking both mortified and confused. "Uh—no! Just take you home," he clarified, scratching the back of his neck.

"Alrightttt," I said, my voice dragging playfully as I let him guide me toward the door. I stumbled a little, and Namjoon caught me by the arm, steadying me. I glanced up at him, my lips curling into a lopsided grin. "Oooh, okay, I get youuu."

He blinked, his brows knitting together. "What?"

I poked his chest clumsily. "You're, like, into me, huh?"

Namjoon stared at me, his mouth opening and closing like he couldn't decide whether to argue or just let me spiral. "That's not—"

"Shhh," I interrupted, pressing a finger to his lips. "It's fine. I totally get it." I pulled my hand back, wobbling slightly, but I was too busy rambling to notice. "You're all like, 'Oh no, poor Y/N needs me to take care of her because I'm such a nice guy. Maybe if I take her home, she'll fall madly in love with me and we'll live happily ever after.'"

Namjoon's eyes widened. "What?! That's not—"

I cut him off with a dramatic gasp. "Wait, are you planning to, like, confess your undying love for me or something?" I squinted up at him, swaying slightly. "Oh my god, is this, like, a rom-com moment? Are you gonna kiss me in the rain or- oh wait, there's no rain- uhhh, kiss me in the car?!"

Namjoon looked like he might physically combust. He ran a hand through his hair, clearly regretting his life choices. "Y/N," he said slowly, like he was talking to a very drunk toddler. "I am not trying to-"

"Ugh, whatever," I said, waving him off again with a dramatic flourish. "You don't have to explain yourself, Joonie. I know you're just trying to be all 'knight in shining armor.'" I snorted, stumbling forward a bit before leaning against him for support. "But, like... spoiler alert! I don't need rescuing."

Namjoon sighed, his hand steadying me by my elbow as he led me toward his car. "I'm just trying to make sure you get home safely," he muttered under his breath.

I gasped again, clapping my hands. "Ohhh, you're one of those guys. The whole 'I'm secretly in love with you but I'm too shy to say it so I'll just be, like, super nice and hope you figure it out' type." I grinned up at him, proud of my (very inaccurate) deduction.

Namjoon groaned softly. "Y/N, that's not what this is."

I leaned closer, squinting at him suspiciously. "Hmm... sounds like something someone secretly in love with me would say."

Namjoon's face turned bright red as he opened the car door for me. "Just... get in the car."

I plopped into the passenger seat, giggling to myself as he buckled my seatbelt for me. He was so close that I could see the little crinkle in his brow and the faint flush still lingering on his cheeks.

"You're blushing," I pointed out, smirking up at him.

Namjoon froze, his hands hovering over the seatbelt for a moment before he leaned back, avoiding my gaze. "I'm not blushing."

"Uh-huh, suuure you're not," I said, dragging out the words as I crossed my arms. "It's fine, Joonie. I get it. I'm cute. You're flustered. Happens all the time."

 "You know," I continued, as if we were deep in conversation, "I don't need anyone. I'm a strong, independent woman. But, like... you're pretty, so I'll allow it."

 "Thanks for your permission," he said dryly.

"You're welcome," I said, looking up at him with a satisfied smile.

Namjoon leaned in to buckle my seatbelt, and I squinted at him again. "Hey, Namjoon?"

"Yeah?" he asked, clicking the buckle into place.

"You smell nice," I said matter-of-factly, nodding as if this was vital information.

He paused, looking both confused and amused. "Uh... thanks?"

"Yeah. Like... soap. Or, like, a forest. Do you live in a forest? That'd be cool," I rambled, resting my head against the seat.

Namjoon chuckled softly, shutting the door and walking around to the driver's side. Once he got in, he turned to me again. "Hey, where do you live?"

I blinked at him, tilting my head. "Uhhh..."

"You don't know?" he asked, his eyebrows lifting.

"I forgot," I said, shrugging.

Namjoon sighed, shaking his head with a small laugh. "Alright. I'll just bring you to my place, then?"

"Okayyyy," I said, grinning again. "You're such a gentleman, Mr. Knight-in-Shining-Armor."

He glanced at me as he started the car, a small smile tugging at his lips despite himself. "Sure, let's go with that."

The drive to Namjoon's place was a blur of me rambling about random nonsense while he occasionally nodded or hummed in response. At one point, I asked him if he believed in aliens.

"Uh... I guess so?" he said cautiously, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Good," I said, nodding sagely. "Because, like, statistically? They have to be out there. Like, imagine how big space is! You think we're the only ones? That's dumb."

Namjoon chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right," I said, smirking. "I'm, like, a genius, you know?"

"Totally," he said, his voice dripping with amused sarcasm.

When we finally arrived at his house, I was still tipsy, though the fresh air had sobered me up a little. Namjoon helped me out of the car, his hand steady on my arm as I stumbled up the steps.

"You're too nice," I muttered, grinning up at him as he unlocked the door.

"Uh-huh," he said dryly, guiding me inside.

He led me to a spare bedroom, helping me sit on the edge of the bed. As he started to move away, I grabbed his wrist, grinning drunkenly. "Hey, Namjoon?"

He turned to look at me, his expression cautious. "Yeah?"

"I think I have a crush on you now," I said, my grin widening.

Something flickered in his eyes. something he quickly pushed aside as he raised an eyebrow. "Okay," he said slowly. "Let's just get you to bed, alright?"

He gently tucked me in, pulling the blanket over me as I waved lazily. "Bye-byeee!"

He turned to leave, but I suddenly shouted, "Wait!"

Namjoon stopped, turning back with a tired but amused expression. "What is it now?"

"My makeup and clothes pleasseee," I whined, sitting up slightly.

He blinked, momentarily flustered, before nodding. "Uh- I'll, um, get you something, alright?"

He disappeared into his room and returned a moment later with a black shirt and some sweats. He helped me to the bathroom, carefully wiping away my smudged makeup before handing me the clothes.

When I came out, wearing his oversized shirt and sweats, he froze for a moment, his gaze lingering on me before he quickly looked away.

"You good?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," he said quickly, clearing his throat. "Let's just get you to bed."

"I'm going to dreamlanddd," I sang softly as I climbed into bed, my voice slurring. My eyes fluttered shut, and I hummed to myself as I drifted off.

Namjoon stood there for a moment, watching me with a mixture of amusement and something deeper he couldn't quite name. Finally, he sighed, rubbing his temples as he left the room.

He collapsed onto his own bed, still fully dressed, his hands covering his face as he let out a low groan.

"Oh my god," he mouthed to himself, shaking his head. He stared at the ceiling for a moment before finally closing his eyes, exhaustion pulling him under.

---

The next day, I woke up with a splitting headache, groaning as the sunlight poured in through the window. My head throbbed as I squinted around the unfamiliar room.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my GODDDD!!!" I squealed, sitting up too quickly, making my head spin.

Seconds later, the door burst open. Namjoon stood in the doorway, his hair a tousled mess, wearing only a loose T-shirt and a pair of shorts. His tired eyes were half-closed as he tilted his head at me, completely unamused.

"Can you- can you not scream?" he grumbled, rubbing his temple. "I really don't want a complaint from the neighbors."

I stared at him, my brain struggling to catch up. Then I screamed again.

"Ahhh!!!"

Namjoon sighed deeply, shutting the door behind him with a soft click as though that would keep me from losing it further.

Once he was gone, I threw the blanket off me, checking underneath to make sure I still had clothes on.

Shit.

I was wearing an oversized black T-shirt and baggy sweatpants that clearly weren't mine.

Did we...? No way. There was no way. If something had happened, I would've woken up in his bed, not this unfamiliar guest room. 

Right?

I pressed my palm to my forehead as my headache worsened. The events of last night were fuzzy at best, but I couldn't shake the feeling of secondhand embarrassment crawling up my spine.

Slowly, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, slipping on my heels and grabbing my bag.

I shuffled out into the hallway, my heels clicking softly against the hardwood floors. My jaw dropped as I took in the pristine, modern decor. Everything was spotless. 

"Shit," I muttered to myself, glancing around. "Is this a house or a museum?"

I rolled my eyes in disbelief, still wandering as I muttered, "Is this even his house?"

Just as I reached the door, a deep voice spoke from behind me, startling me so badly that my purse and heels fell to the floor.

"You should eat first," Namjoon said.

"Shit!" I gasped, spinning around. My heart pounded as I clutched my chest, glaring at him.

Namjoon stood there, leaning casually against the counter in the kitchen. He gestured toward one of the stools at the island. "Sit," he said.

Reluctantly, I walked over, plopping myself onto the stool. As he turned back to the stove, I blurted out, "Did you- did we-"

Namjoon turned around so fast I stopped mid-sentence. "Stop," he said, holding up a hand. "I know what you're about to say. And no! We did not."

I blinked at him, a wave of relief washing over me. "Oh. Okay," I said, awkwardly.

Namjoon slid a mug of coffee across the counter to me. I took a cautious sip, raising my eyebrows in surprise. "Oooh, I like this," I mumbled, taking another sip.

Namjoon snorted softly, turning back to whatever he was cooking.

"So... what did happen?" I asked hesitantly.

"God, you're exhausting to take care of when you're drunk," he muttered under his breath.

I gasped, offended. "I. Am. NOT!"

Namjoon glanced over his shoulder with an amused smirk. "Really? You don't remember the whole 'Oh my god, is this, like, a rom-com moment? Are you gonna kiss me in the rain or oh wait, there's no rain.. uhhh, kiss me in the car?!' thing?" he mocked, mimicking my voice.

My cheeks burned, and I groaned, covering my face with my hands. "I-I do not sound like that!"

Namjoon raised an eyebrow, leaning his hip against the counter. "You're flustered."

"I am not!" I said, my voice muffled behind my palms.

He laughed softly, turning back to the stove. "Hey, remind me not to take you home when you're drunk again," he teased.

I scowled at him, dropping my hands to glare. "Ugh, I never asked you to bring me home!"

Namjoon smirked, flipping the omelet in the pan effortlessly. "Sure, you didn't," he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

I glanced around the kitchen again, still amazed by how neat everything was. "Seriously, what even is this? Is this a house or a museum?"

Namjoon chuckled, setting a plate in front of me with perfectly toasted bread, an omelet, and slices of ham. "It's whatever you want it to be, princess," he said, grabbing his own mug of coffee.

I stared at the plate, genuinely surprised. "Oh wow, you can actually cook?"

"Maybe in another universe I can't cook... or drive," Namjoon said, pursing his lips.

As I dug into the food, he mumbled something under his breath. "I wonder what my life would've been like if I didn't choose this med school thingy"

"What?" I asked, looking up mid-bite.

Namjoon shook his head quickly. "Nothing," he said, brushing it off.

I smirked. "You know, you've got the looks to be a comedian," I teased, finishing my plate.

Namjoon rolled his eyes, but I swore I caught the faintest smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

I stood up abruptly, grabbing my bag. "Alright, I'm going home."

Before I could even take a step, Namjoon grabbed his keys. "I'll take you," he said firmly.

"What? No, it's fine—"

"You don't even know where you are," Namjoon said, cutting me off. He grabbed my stuff for me and gestured toward the door. "C'mon."

I stared at him for a moment, then sighed in defeat. "Fine."

---

A week later, at school.

I sat at the table with my friends. Mia, Jungkook, Lia, and Matthew. idly stirring my drink.

"Sooo," Mia began, dragging out the word with an infuriating sing-song tone, "I heard something happened between you and my friend Namjoonieee."

I groaned, slumping back in my chair. "Oh, shut up."

"Mama mi Mia! You did what??" Jungkook exclaimed, eyebrows shooting up as he dramatically clasped his chest like he was scandalized.

"Nothing happened, you idiots!" I said, glaring at him and Mia.

"Uh-huh, sure," Mia teased, winking at me.

Meanwhile, Matthew and Lia were off in their own little world, staring at each other like they were about to eat each other alive.

"You two, get a room, please," I said, pointing at them with my straw.

They didn't even flinch. Typical.

----

School was finally over for the day, and here I was at my part-time job at Rife's Café, trying to survive another shift.

"Sir, welcome to Rife's Café! What can I get you?" I said automatically, not bothering to look up from the counter as I flipped open my notepad.

"I'll have an iced latte... and the barista taking my order right now," a familiar voice said, dripping with cheeky confidence.

My head snapped up. Namjoon.

He stood there, that same calm smirk on his face, leaning slightly against the counter like he owned the place.

arghh! what an idiot!..... a cute idiot... maybe hot too

 "The pretty and sexy barista you're asking for is busy and in work hours," I said, writing down his order and moving to the espresso machine.

Namjoon chuckled, watching me intently. I could feel his eyes on me even as I focused on the task at hand. "Heard from Mia you're a fashion major. How's it going?" he asked, smoothly changing the subject.

"It's good. I love my major," I replied, keeping my focus on his drink. "How about you? What's yours?"

"Psych. SNU," Namjoon said casually.

so he isn't an idiot.... just cute then

I paused, glancing at him with raised eyebrows. "Wow, smart?"

"Maybe," he said, his lips curling into a small, self-assured smile.

I laughed softly, finishing up his drink and sliding it across the counter. But before I handed it over, I reached into my apron pocket, scribbling something on a small note and sticking it to the cup.

"Maybe your pretty and sexy barista wants to hang out later... at Han River?" I said, smirking as I handed him the iced latte.

Namjoon's eyes flicked to the note on the cup, my number, written in bold and then back to me. "Sure, pretty and sexy barista," he said, his voice smooth as he grabbed the cup and walked out the door.

I watched him disappear through the glass doors, making my heart do an annoyingly stupid flip.

"Who's that cutie you were talking to?" Jin's voice jolted me out of my thoughts.

Jin, my best friend and the owner of the café, leaned casually against the counter, a sly grin plastered on his face.

"Oh, it's just a friend of a friend," I said, trying to sound nonchalant, but Jin's knowing look made me falter.

"You're in love," Jin declared, pointing an accusatory finger at me.

"I am not!" I exclaimed, my cheeks heating up instantly.

"Oh, you so are. You like him," he teased, leaning closer.

"I do not!" I protested, but Jin's grin only widened.

"You're making the 'in-love' Y/N face. Don't lie!"

"I don't even have an 'in-love' face," I muttered, pursing my lips and crossing my arms.

"You do!" Jin exclaimed, his eyes lighting up with a sudden realization. Then, with a gasp, he clapped his hands over his mouth. "Wait- what if he heard me?! You idiot, now he's gonna think I'm right!"

"Shhhh!" I hissed, shoving him lightly. "He's a psych major from SNU, Jin. Do you really think he's not already psychoanalyzing me every time we talk?"

"Oooh," Jin said, dragging out the word dramatically. "The next time you're feeling depressed, you can go to him then! And maybe your depression isn't the only thing he can—"

"Shut up, Jin!" I said, smacking his arm as I tried to fight back a laugh. "When did I ever say I wanted him to read me like that?"

Jin gave me a pointed look, wiggling his eyebrows. "You just did."

I groaned, covering my face with my hands, but despite myself, I couldn't stop smiling.

"Admit it," Jin said, poking me in the side. "You like him."

I sighed, looking out the café window where Namjoon had disappeared moments earlier. My chest felt warm and heavy all at once.

"Maybe," I mumbled under my breath.

[finickyfelix]

I have returned in time for the new year, hello.

I successfully completed my December goal of writing at least 100 words every day, which does not sound like a lot, but this is the first time in several years that I was able to achieve a monthly writing goal I set for myself, so it's a big deal for me. It also ensured I wrote every day, which I was very bad about not doing before.

Here's the total of how much I wrote last month:

Faded Daisy: 6,207 words

untitled other story: 992 words

Snakeskin and Snakeskin: Bonus Content: edits that I did not count the word counts of.

Considering the fact that my minimum goal amounted to 3,100 words, I think I did pretty well. In fact, I wrote more than I had in several months, probably because I wrote daily.

Upcoming plans:

- The next (and last) AO3 work I'm going to repost to Tumblr is Some Company for the Evening, which I have been reluctant to read through to see if there's anything I want to edit because it feels too weird to read lol. It doesn't feel like my writing although it obviously is. It's too wholesome. I've been writing too much terrible stuff lately that wholesome romance feels alien and bizarre. I'll have to look at it at some point soon though.

- I am not in fact going to abandon Faded Daisy obviously although I did talk about considering it. I was too mentally unstable to be making any decisions about anything at the time. I feel slightly better now and I know that abandoning it is absolutely not an option and is the last thing I actually want to do. My niche horror novel(la?) deserves to exist even if writing it is hard and unenjoyable a lot of the time. I will never abandon it no matter how much I want to. In fact, my only solid writing goal for this year is to finish Faded Daisy.

- In two weeks it will be my birthday, so I need get started on drawing my top five current favorite Princesses from Slay the Princess because I plan on posting that on my birthday (all five in one drawing.) Since it will probably take about two weeks to draw them all in a way I am happy with. I'm going to say which ones I will draw below the cut so people can judge my taste in Princesses in advance and decide if they want to unfollow me for having bad Princess opinions (/joke)

My current five favorite Princesses (although of course I also love many others) are the Wounded Wild, the Cage*, Happily Ever After*, the Spectre, and the Adversary, so those are the ones I'm going to draw and post on my birthday. I am overly excited about this.

*= Pristine Cut exclusive

[mxbo]

Hi! If it’s no trouble for you, could I request a little story about Sniper and a daughter reader? Just some wholesome family fluff ^^

Thanks so much in advance! No worries though if you’re swamped!

HELLO!! “No worries though if you're swamped” JHSHG THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST EVER, I'M SO EXCITED. And also nervous because I don't want to mess up (that's why I took 5 days to write this) (I wrote it, left it be for a couple of days, read it again, went like “wow this is garbage”, fixed it and THEN posted it).

The request was left a bit ambiguous, so I have a BUNCH of notes and then the little story (which is, btw, not the full length of what I wrote because I accidentally gave Sniper anxiety, so I cut that from the actual story because I feared it wasn't wholesome ahsjah) (if you see “…” in the middle of two paragraphs, yeah that was something that I cut out AHSHh). I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT, I'M NOT CONFIDENT AT ALL WITH MY WRITING AND DIDN'T THINK I WOULD EVEN GET A WRITING REQUEST, I'M SORRY IF YOU DISLIKE EVEN ONE WORD *explodes*

[First picture: Carl from San Andreas with his hands on his head, except it's me saying “I forgot, I forgot how to write oh no”] [Second picture: Sponge Bob crying, except it's me saying “I promise I'll do better”]

SOME NOTES

English is not my first language, sorry if some things don't make sense TT (let me know if you see any mistakes pls!!)

My requests were mainly open for stamps, userboxes, blinkies and stuff like that, but I did say I'd share my writing if someone asked in my pinned post, so I only have myself to blame heh. And this was actually fun and I enjoyed it, so now I want to do more writing requests. Aka, they're open fr this time HEHE

You're Sniper's daughter, but the story is almost mainly told from the perspective of Sniper (still written in third person for him and second person for the reader, tho, it's just that the story follows Sniper's actions more because idk how to write from the POV of a kid)

I have family issues so if family interactions are portrayed inaccurately that's why, haha /hj

I wanted to write about how Sniper's daughter got to the base and THEN her interactions with the rest of the team, but I've been working on it for 5 days already. This is only the first half, how the reader got to the base TT [I'll continue it if you wish] AND AAAAH THE SECOND HALF IS WHERE I HAD PLANNED MOST OF THE FLUFF AND MOMENTS CATCHING UP WITH SNIPER AAAA (I'm so angry at myself)

CW: Not much, mentions of death because it's TF2 (nobody dies), and the word “fuck” is said like once, but that's it, can't think of anything major

More notes in the end because it's mostly not mentioned/doesn't matter/was cut from the final version

MEET THE SUNSHINE

“Yeah, Mum, I get it. I'll visit when I can,” he muttered.

“Your daughter misses you, you know,” his mum said.

Sniper sighed. “I know, Mum. But I take my job really seriously, and the battle hasn’t ended yet—”

“That battle has been going on for more than three years now!! And we decided you can’t just come home on holidays and expect us to raise your child the rest of the year.”

“We sent her to you” his dad interrupted, “She should be arriving any minute now.”

Sniper's eyes widened, and he nearly dropped the phone. “YOU DID WHAT!? THIS IS A BATTLEFIELD!!” He tried to argue. 

They were his parents and he respected them a lot, always trying to get their approval, but were they actually crazy? What did they even consume to think that sending his own daughter, their own granddaughter, to New Mexico, alone, while there’s a fight currently happening there, is a good idea!?

“Oh, don’t worry about that, after speaking to your boss through a nice lady called… Miss Paula? Pauline? She assured us she’ll be safe.” No way Miss Pauling, one of the few people he —and everyone in the team, really— trusted. No fucking way.

Before he could process this bombshell, a commotion erupted outside his room. The “INTRUDER ALERT. BLU SPY IS IN THE BASE” alarm was set off, and it was followed by Soldier shouting “A BLU SPY IS IN THE BASE!?”.

He hung up, not even saying goodbye, because he had the feeling that wasn’t a BLU spy. Actually, he knew it wasn’t a BLU spy, chained to a respawn machine. He had to get to the entrance first and stop the other eight mercenaries from killing you.

…

“WAIT!” He shouted as he pushed Soldier to the side.

He wasn’t the only one in the room; Scout, Spy and Medic, who were faster than Sniper, were also there, also trying to explain to Soldier that this was a child, not a BLU spy.

“Sniper?” asked Spy, a bit curious about why he seemed so scared.

“That’s not a spy…” He said, trying to catch his breath.

“Yes, we figured,” Spy said before getting interrupted.

You slowly opened your eyes and removed your hands from your ears, seeing as the scary man with the big weapon directly pointing at you before didn’t fire and you didn’t explode.

“That’s my-”

You looked around and that’s when you see him! You didn’t get the directions the nice purple lady gave you wrong!!

“DAD!!” You scream as you run over to your dad and hug his legs.

As you squeeze his legs, finally seeing your dad after so long and feeling safe, he doesn’t know how to react.

“-daughter,” he finished his sentence. He’s so relieved you’re ok. He doesn’t know what he would have done if he had found you hurt or worse.

“No frickin’ way…” muttered the Scout.

Soldier, Spy, Medic and also Engie and Pyro, who entered the room after the Sniper, were just as confused as Scout. Well, maybe not Pyro, because it understood something completely different (one shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask). But the rest of them were, and, with their eyes, they asked for an explanation. Demanded, even, in Scout’s case, because he couldn’t fathom the idea of Sniper of all people to get a girl, potentially a wife, before him.

…

Scout sighed in relief hearing that Sniper did not, in fact, get a girl before him. That he had found you as a baby one day when returning home and adopted you.

Everyone else just nodded in understanding (Heavy, Pyro), asked him questions (Engie, Medic, Spy) or praised him for doing the correct thing and not leave you to starve (Spy, Soldier, Demo). All while you were drawing in a corner with a pen and paper your dad gave you.

You stopped drawing once your dad had finished talking and introducing you to his team. Maybe he would introduce them to you next! 

This was going to be your home for a while, after all.

NOTES P.2

Timeline:

Three years into the gravel war (for the main group of mercenaries’ pov).

You were adopted roughly a year before Sniper was hired. Your adopted family doesn’t know your birthday, but they estimate you’re 4-5 y/o.

Fun fact: I was considering at first (aka the first five seconds of thinking about the request) making the daughter a teenager and then remembered Sniper is 27-ish here so uuuh, nope.

About Sniper in this AU:

He’s a good dad… the three or four times a year he can visit you.

He doesn’t want to be an absent dad, but he’s too dedicated to his job as an assassin for RED.

He tries to convince himself he’s not that absent because he cares about you, talks to you at lest once a week through the phone and makes sure your grandparents treat you correctly.

He wouldn’t have accepted RED’s offer if he had known this job would drag out for so long. He can’t quit now.

About his daughter (you!):

She/her as was requested :D

Not much else to say, you're 4-5 years old so you behave as one.

[Backstory, this is explained in detail during the actual story so spoilers hehe] You were found in a dumpster (sorry lmao) This was not, in fact, mentioned in the story above, so I'll just paste it here:

“

As he ran downstairs, his mind was flooded with images of how you came into his life, how he tried to raise you but had to go to this stupid war over a worthless piece of land. He thought it was ok, though, because once it was over he’d make up for the time he was away. 

But he wouldn’t be able to do that if you died to one of his own teammates right now.

…

Mick was driving home after a long day under the hot Australian sun, a bit tired from hunting animals down all day but with a smile.

He did a small deviation to pass by a nearby gas station because the fuel gauge hovered dangerously close to empty. 

Once the tank was full, he glanced at the convenience store and couldn’t resist grabbing something to eat for the rest of the long ride. He doesn’t remember what he bought, and it honestly doesn’t even matter. 

As he was leaving the store, he heard a sound, apart from the flickering neon lights, and he stood there for a second trying to identify. Someone crying, high-pitched voice, coming from the side of the building. “From the side of the building? Next to the dumpster?” He thought. 

And he was disgusted that he was right, that someone just got rid of a baby like that, but also glad he found you.

He didn’t know what to do, so he brought you home and asked his parents for help. They all came to the conclusion that they must have abandoned you after noticing that you didn’t grow a moustache like the rest. Mick saw himself on you because he also wasn’t born like most Australians. He remembered having a difficult time as a child trying to adapt without having any facial hair or Australia-shaped chest hair like the rest of the kids and, being an orphan? He knew your childhood would be even worse than his.

„

[ceesimz]

Okay well for starters - GREAT to see you’re back, and on your own terms! I know we all would have happily waited for as long as it took, but I was still SO excited when I woke up and saw that you had posted!

Now, for the actual story! First off, thank you for posting it all in one part (you’re better than me fr), and WOW I just REALLY loved it! The argument broke my heart entirely for R, Alexia was just SERIOUSLY not thinking anything through, I mean my god!

I really, really enjoyed this idea of the analogy of R’s mental pain being shown within the injuries she sustained when using the punching bag. I had to sit there for a second when you drew that comparison because WHEW…genuinely just a phenomenal idea from a literary perspective.

I’m amazed by everything you write, and this was no difference in the slightest! You balanced dialogue with the characters thoughts and emotions exceptionally well, and it makes your stories easy to read and SO enjoyable. It’s an absolute honor to get to read your work, thank you so so much for sharing it with us!

So so blessed to be occupying the same little corner to the internet with someone as talented as you are! 🩵🩵

Oh man, where to even start with this!! This is so incredibly kind, my mind can't even comprehend it. Thank you for taking the time to write this, it means so much🧡

I was typing with anger in solidarity with R during the argument section, trust me. Funnily enough, that was also the part I wrote last. I couldn't have done it in two parts either, would have annoyed me too much hahaha!

Thank you for picking up on particular parts of the story, and for the very generous compliment of the overall structure. (Tangent warning) when I'm reading through my own writing, it find it so challenging to get a good sense of what the readers will feel because I feel absolutely nothing emotion-wise when reading my own stuff. Whereas when I read other people's stories, I'm overcome with all kinds of thoughts and feelings and that's what I kind of correlate the quality of writing with, how many different emotions and the intensity of them that the author makes me feel.

So before posting I get very nervous because I can't for the life of me gage the quality of my work and figure out if it's good enough before I let it out into the world, but then you came along and left this long, wholesome ask in my inbox and I'm just so happy now. It really made my day, because I've been an avid enjoyer of your stories for a while now and I, embarrassingly, still geek out when I see you and some of my other favourite writers reblog or like or do such things like this. It just really makes a difference and I'll remember this forever, it'll always be in the back of my mind when I'm writing!

Really, this has made the world of a difference, and I can't believe you took the time to write this to me. I'm so grateful, and I wish you nothing but the best! Thank you, thank you, thank you🧡

[kosmosian-quills]

Bad to Worse

A very poorly written thing because I’m tired and tried to finish this for today. It also is probably not going to get used in the final version, but I wanted it written anyway.

Anyway, meet Tomasz! I have @cirianne to thank for the creation of this kind boy. I’M SORRY I HAD TO GET THIS OUT OF ME OK.

WIP: Angel

POV: Tomasz

Date: Monday, May 4th 2026

If exam preparations have taught me one thing, it’s that I really should listen to past me when they say go to bed on time, because it is now 8:52am, and I am going to be late for class if I don’t hurry up.

I look a mess, I know, I’m wearing yesterday’s jeans, a t shirt I found on the top of my clean clothes pile, and my backpack is slung over my shoulder as I hurried to grab it on my way out of the halls. I hadn’t even had the chance to grab anything real for breakfast yet. Urgh, I can’t be like this. Not when I have an exam tomorrow. I should be better than this.

It’s fine, calm down. I think I’ve still got that chocolate bar in my bag from yesterday. That’ll do until I can grab something else later.

The journey from halls to my lecture hall isn’t that far, about a 10 minute walk at most, but if I run like I am now, I can probably be there for just about 9am. I hope.

I had been awake until almost 4am this morning, so I’m running on nothing but will power at the moment. I’ve been so carefully diligent with my work this year, I don’t know why I thought studying at 3am was a good idea. I know that it isn’t an option tonight, not when one of my final exams is tomorrow morning. 9am sharp!

I make it into the lecture hall with barely a minute to spare, and find my seat with my friends, already seated and waiting.

“Running late, Tomasz?” Heidi smirked as I practically threw my bag down beside my seat, panting like a dog.

“I am not late, thank you very much,” I replied. “Class hasn’t started yet, has it?”

“Close enough,” Bruno nodded in the direction of the door, tapping his pen against his notebook, where the Professor was just coming into the room. “What did you do, sleep in?”

“Maybe, maybe not. I’m here, and that is what matters,” I pulled out my laptop, turning it on and tapping it impatiently. I really need an upgrade for this, but it’s all I can afford at the moment. It does its job well enough, just when I am a little more punctual.

I settle into the rhythm of the lecture quickly enough, sat with the friends I’ve come to know and learn with for the past seven months.

The time does pass ridiculously quickly during these formal-informal study sessions in preparation for our exams, but even I was surprised that Heidi actually looked at her phone when it buzzed.

Heidi was a student from southern Germany, somewhere bordering Austria I think. She’s a lovely girl, even if she is easily distracted. I can’t fault her though, she does well in classes and tests.

Bruno is quite the opposite. He is normally the one telling us to stop slacking and get studying. He’s technically German, but his family lived over in Kosmos for a few years when he was younger. I have to say, it’s very comforting to have someone from home here, even though he and his family left a few years ago.

She passes her phone aside to me, whispering aside “Look, Tomasz. You’ve still got family over there, right?”

The screen was a breaking news report, something that had happened in the last ten minutes.

Terrorist attack in Kosmosian capital.

I took it from her, skimming through the article. An explosion rocked the main street in the capital city as the citizens partake in their independence day festivities… there are dozens of confirmed casualties and at least 7 deaths…

Explosion. Casualties. Deaths!

Oh, no!

Terrorist attacks in my country are virtually unheard of. I don’t think there has been one, ever! At least, in my lifetime. What is going on there? I had totally forgotten that today was the Flower Festival, especially since my attempts at staying up until the early hours of this morning, but that’s a despicable strategy in order to ensure a lot of victims. Everyone is out in the streets today, it’s tradition for many of them.

“Not… in the capital, thankfully. But that’s awful.” I whispered, being careful not to distract the other students here.

That’s not entirely true though. I don’t have family there, true.

“I’ve got a friend there, in the capital.”

“Maybe you should give them a call?”

“She won’t have her phone, she’s not allowed it during the day,” I tell her as I pull out my phone, scrolling through my instant messages to find her contact. Słoneczka, I have her noted as, the picture is of her smiling back at me, taken the day she left Obokplaży before she started her shiny new job.

“Not allowed? Why wouldn’t she be allowed her phone?” Bruno joined in.

“She works for the Royal family. It’s kind of, a rule. She’ll see it later, I’m sure.” I told them as I started typing my message. Hey, Słoneczka. I saw the news, I hope everything’s okay over there. Stay safe.

I feel awful that I don’t try and call her, but I know it’s useless to even try. She just won’t be able to answer the call, so there’s no point. I hope she’ll see my message later, though. Maybe she’ll be allowed her phone to call her parents when things have calmed down, and she’ll see my message then.

“Oh yeah, I remember you saying. She’ll be fine. They’ve got tonnes of security, though, right?”

“Yeah, yeah…” I murmured, waiting for the confirmation that the message had been successfully delivered. It had.

I sent a message to my parents too, even though they’re home in Obokplazy, so I know they’ll be safe, but I wanted to be sure. It’s a terrible thing to happen.

“Tomasz, if you need to go, just go,” Heidi whispered to me, obviously aware that I hadn’t been paying attention for the last few minutes.

“No, I’m fine, I’ll be fine.” I said dismissively, putting my phone away and finally getting back to my lecture.

--- 

Date: Monday, May 4th 2026

By the time our morning break arrived, it seemed more frightful news reared its ugly head.

Something had happened at the castle, it seemed, due to the sudden arrival of the military and the total communication breakdown. One of the most unifying days in our calendar and it’s chaos over there, it seems. The last update was over an hour ago, and we had heard no more.

All I can think about it Matylda, over there in that castle. Whatever’s going on, she’s in the thick of it. I find myself staring at the message I sent her – still unread, and I just wish she would answer me. The rational part of my brain knows that if something is going on inside the castle, her last priority will be returning to her bedroom to fetch her phone and answer a half-hearted text from me, sent when I wasn’t aware that this had happened. I am also aware that even if she had her phone, the chances of her calling me are slim. I know what she’s like, she’ll call her parents first. In fact, should I call them? Should I just let them know that I am thinking about her? Ask them to let me know if they hear anything from her?

No, I shouldn’t. It would be rude and presumptuous of me. She’ll let me know in her own time, I’m sure. Besides, what Bruno said earlier is true. They’ve got the best security they could possibly have against any potential threat. She will be fine.

I still can’t shake the feeling, though, that something catastrophic has happened there. The radio silence is not helping either.

And of course this is happening around exam time.

There was one other Kosmosian national beside myself in our class, and she was shaken by the news, but her family live in Wgórach, so they’re safe from all the chaos. I’m thankful all the same that my family aren’t involved in any way.

Hey Słoneczka – I begin typing again – I hope you read this soon, and that everything is okay where you are.

I send the message before I even process what I wrote, and I am aware that the message I sent is probably… not the best way to end that.

I mean, I know it’s not. But I hope you and everyone else is alright. Let me know when you can.

The messages are still left unread, marked “Delivered”. It seems like an insult, mocking me, that I don’t know any more. Damn it, I’m worried about her. I haven’t seen her in almost a year, and I hope that the events over there haven’t taken her away from me. Of course I’ve spoken with her, and had conversations with her, but it’s not the same.

I don’t want to say there was something special in that kiss she gave me, because I am probably thinking too much into it, but there was something. The way she had stood on her tiptoes just to reach my cheek, and how scared she looked afterwards. I remember being stunned by her action, and could do no more to make her feel better than to return the kiss.

It was wonderful to share that with her. I just hope she’s okay.

---

Date: Monday, May 4th 2026

By the time 4pm rolls around – a whole 6 hours since the first reports of a terrorist attack – things have gone from bad, to very bad.

The headline this time is simple.

Kosmosian monarchy overthrown.

---

Date: Tuesday, May 5th 2026

I tried to focus on my exam, I truly did, but I knew it was a lost cause all the same. I was too distracted from the task at hand. I had hoped that my endless studying would prove an effective enough way to keep me occupied until things had calmed down, but it’s not working. It’s a plague eating at me, and I can’t help but worry about the implications.

Heidi thinks I shouldn’t even try the exam, not when all this is going on, but I wanted to give it a try anyway, hoping that the distraction is enough.

But it’s not, it’s really not.

Things were bad, over there. I promised myself that I wouldn’t read any news articles until after my exam, but that was a fruitless endeavour from the start. Someone who had read the news this morning said that the only airport in the entire country had been closed. No flights in or out. Same with the ports, no boats leaving the country anymore. Total radio silence too.

What is going on? It’s been totally closed off.

I really shouldn’t have tried to do this exam. I can’t think clearly. My mind is filled with these painful thoughts. I previously, naively, stupidly thought that my family would be okay because they aren’t in the capital, but now I am not so sure. Total isolation, and I haven’t heard a thing from them. Not even since yesterday.

The worst part of this is the implications for me now. I am a student here, yet still a Kosmosian national. I am expected to return home for the summer after term has ended, but that seems unlikely. That headline last night made sure to strike that fear into me, well and truly. How am I supposed to get home if they’ve closed the borders? Will I be allowed to stay here? Just what can I do from here, when my country is in turmoil just across the sea? Barely a two hour flight from here?

What about my parents? My friends? Matylda? I have no idea if they’re even alive. Matylda was there, she must still be in the castle, at best. She could be dead right now, if that takeover was as violent as the article sounded –

Stop it. Don’t think like that. She’s fine.

But it’s still sickening to think about. I can’t be here, but if I miss this exam I doubt I will have the student visa to allow me to stay. I have to at least try. Heidi and Bruno seem certain that I could have missed this exam with zero repercussions because of what’s happening, the turmoil, but as I said to them – I want distracting whilst everything calms down.

I don’t think that will be happening.

I should probably just admit to the professor what a terrible piece of work this essay is becoming. We’re barely an hour into this exam and it feels like I have been here for almost a day. My head is throbbing, and I can’t focus anymore on this.

I somehow managed to make it to the end of the exam, not that I am proud of the little I did write, but when I turned my phone back on, what I saw made me physically ill.

Someone had livestreamed what was going on, and a news reporter had picked it up. Just two hours ago, whilst I was still in that hall, was the live, public execution of the King.

The news station couldn’t show the actual regicide, of course, but it was more than enough for me to be sure of one thing.

Matylda is probably as dead as he is.

[smute]

“My roots go down to the depths of the world, through earth dry with brick, and damp earth, through veins of lead and silver. I am all fibre. All tremors shake me, and the weight of the earth is pressed to my ribs.” (Virginia Woolf, The Waves)

Hi! I'm Jan 🍒 • he/they; er/ihm or whatever's funniest • 32 • gay queer nb man toy right hand arm. man. • nuance enjoyer • germany • i have no money, two literature degrees, and poast about man boops and their ilk 🍉 • queue is on 24/7 unless it isn't 🍓

my letterboxd 🍿

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#& = og posts/additions

#my face = selfies and og pics

#my art = stuff i made

#my words = stuff i wrote

#moochies = mutuals 💕

#tag game = tag games

smut:

i tag #nudity to make filtering easier for my followers. that includes all kinds of nudity (full, partial, sexual, non-sexual, etc.) and i use it in addition to the existing community tags and the other nsfw tags listed below. if you want to be on the safe side feel free to block individual tags as well:

#ah ohhh big honkin boobies some massive mmmmommy milkers huge hombers like massive gazongas just enormous milkin hooters = the highly acclaimed tiddy tag

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#ough veiny = veiny body parts

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bush is life = bushy men

#sigh... twinks = not so hairy men

#hands = 👋

#slutty slutty stache = mustache pics 👨🏻

#sigh = gay kissies 💋

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oh and i use "👁️👁️" in a few other horny tags so if you filter that too you should be good <3

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#poetry = poems

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#portrait = portraits

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#dudes chilling sexily = art of dudes chilling sexily (tm harsha)

#men with books = 3 guesses

#arch = architecture

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#vestiture = clothes shoes bags jewelry etc

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#embroidery = embroidery 🪡

nature:

#i miss the sea = water 🌊

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#moistcore = gratifying wetness

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#strawbebbies my beloved = 🍓

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#ough dr puderzucker = corgis 🐶

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#god i wish that were me = stuff i wish i could be

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#lovecore = 💕🥰

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#on all levels except physical i am a smoker = smokers being hot and cool 🚬

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format: "[thing]" or "[thing] tw"/ "[thing] cw"

(last updated December 2024)

[ekkohorror]

-------

Hello everyone and welcome back to another chapter, hoping that this will post... But it doesn't seem like luck on posting large stories is ever on my side. Maybe it's because I wrote to much?? I'm not sure. But enjoy!

(Disclaimer; some wholesome stuff and some sad stuff for this chapter) but be prepared for the next chapter lol

------------------

We made it back in my room and I had a lot of lights... A little to many, "maybe I got to much for your room..." "Mmm!" I nodded as I could barely see in front of me, the worker from before was holding and dragging a cart full of actual things for the room, along with the toy making box. 'oh wow Mr that's a lot of stuff!!' 'Oooo pretty' the boy voices said together as I place the lights down and plugged them in. They were color changing lights, and happen to be for cheep in the store. "Mmm!" I pointed at the lights as I jumped up as I pointed at the ceiling, "let's put everything down first before putting things up" I shook my head from catching onto father's joke.

"Now that's what I call a good room!" Me and the worker were laying on the floor from exhaustion, well they were I was just joining them as I was confused about what he was doing. I did also poke them a few times as well. "Son leave the poor boy alone hehe" "Mm!" I stopped and got up to lay the lights ontop of the worker. *Plop* "oh dear.." "pretty... Lights..." "... should I just stay here?" "...I guess you should, as I think he wants you to feel better by having the lights on you or telling you to help him with the lights" "...both...lights...good" I made a thumbs up and smiled before plopping down onto the ground next to the worker. "...ok I'll get up now" I silently cheered as I watched the worker hold the light up as they stood up. 'ooo pretty' 'wow... That's so cool' we stared in amazement before getting up to help. "Mmm!" "Thanks, we are going to need a latter though, so hold this as I grab the one I brought with us" I nodded as I grabbed the lights and wiggled a bit in excitement. *Happy dance lol*. A hour later and we have almost filled the whole ceiling with lights, but also made it so some would dangle from the ceiling. "...pretty... lights" "mhm I agree" "wow amazing work you two, I got me some food so come on ____ and take a break before you pass out" "oh o-ok sir, I'll take my leave now" I nodded as I waved him goodbye, 'now to pick all these loose stuff up and onto a trash bag'. So for some time I have been picking up trash and taking floor breaks for some hours.

"Mmm...bored..." I was looking at the ceiling and my hands, they were so different but feel so light and... Well different as I have never felt like this before, my whole body feels like this. I couldn't really feel my legs, definitely not as much as I normally could before, I feel tired but when it camr to pain or much emotion, I can barely feel it so expressing it was harder. "Me...broken...I'm...not..fixed..." I look at my hands then touch my face, not being able to feel anything, but a soft wet feeling falling from my face. "Hmmm?...wet...why?" 'are you ok Mr?' 'please don't cry' "cry?...me..." 'It's gonna be ok, it's hard but we can get through this together' "mmm!" I nodded as I sit up and continue picking things off from the ground, but the lights go out leaving just the fairy lights, so father calls them. 'Oooo' the lights above me looked really pretty, I'm really thankful that father and that worked helped me with the lights. I try reaching for it and saw how beautiful my hands looked under the color lights glow, I looked down at my hands as soft tears run down my face again. "Happy...yes...happy" *knock knock* I looked to my right and saw father, and some other workers that were crying, standing at my rooms entrance. I waved at father until I see him crying a bit, I get worried and quickly run over to him, "f-father" "no I'm ok, *sniffs* I'm ok-" I embrace father into a hug and he pulls me closer as he continues to cry, I didn't know why but everyone seemed so sad, but I shed some tears as well.

"Cry...why?" "It's nothing dear, Its just a pretty moment" I nodded as I laid in my bed with Father as he sits on the side of my bed, "now sweet dreams little one, I'll be here in the tomorrow so we can play in the morning" I nodded as father kisses my head and everyone said good night to me. "Good...night..." I said before rifting off to sleep.

——————— ⟩

Hey I deleted the other part to this to see if it not posting was because it's to long, so if this posts then right after I'll be posting the next part to this chapter. So don't worry that it suddenly stopped.

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[seyaryminamoto]

Hi there, I just wanted to say how thankful I am for you and your work. I've grown 2 years since I first discovered gladiator, and I still love it all the same. i'll do my very best to continue supporting your work in the future. ROCK ON!!! But I do have one question -- what are you planning to do both once you finish writing and when you finish posting the story?

Oh, damn! Nice to know you've been here for so long! :D Also glad you still love this story after all this time! May you continue to enjoy what's next (... well, in whatever capacity that's possible...) and thanks for the support!

As for my future beyond Gladiator... well. To be honest, that future's looming closer and closer every day X'D I'm surprised by how far ahead I am at times, but now that weekly updates are on, I just have to keep writing like mad anyway. Better to stay ahead, right? If I ever need a break, making sure there's a big gap between what's being posted and what I last wrote is a good idea xD

But as for what's next... well, I can't be 100% sure. It's going to be extreeeemely weird not having this story in my life because, heh, it'll be a literal decade soon since I started it. It's been my biggest constant for all this time X'D so it's a little strange to imagine a life where Gladiator isn't front and center for me all the time. I admit, when things get nasty in this fandom, I'm sometimes tempted to go on the "Then after finishing the longest fic of the fandom, the author vanished!" route xD I've heard that's a very common outcome for writers who create stuff that runs extremely long, and at times it feels like catching my breath away from the fandom would be nice. But I'll probably have a very depressing clingy period of denial anyway x'D of not knowing how to let go of my big baby story even after all this time. It happened the first time I finished a big story (original one), it'll likely happen here too.

Professionally speaking, though... I think I'm going to take a crack at original fiction on a much more serious capacity once Gladiator is finished. I have one idea, based on the big story I mentioned I finished, just... taking out a lot of weird elements of it and sticking with a smaller version, much more contained, much more wholesome and hopefully with enough pull to get people into it. I'll likely get started writing that one immediately after Gladiator is done, and hopefully I'll finish it relatively quickly, as it shouldn't be all that demanding.

After that one, I have in mind to file off the serial numbers of my Shapeshifter AU! I've already started working on proper worldbuilding for it, I've renamed a lot of characters, I've reworked a lot of the story (outline-wise, anyway xD), so it'd basically be a Sokkla book without the characters being called Sokka and Azula x'D this would be a much bigger undertaking, likely a whole book series if it goes well, which ultimately would mean more fun with those two, even if under other names and in another setting entirely xD I definitely think that story had a lot of potential, it just needs me to finish Gladiator first because Gladiator is a very very big baby and it takes up all my attention xD

There's a few other original stories I'd like to work on too, but for now, these two would be, hopefully, my first attempt at making a full-on living off my writing, no longer just with fanfiction.

Now, if you were wondering if it's possible that I might write more post-Gladiator stories here and there...?

... Never say never :'D I've got a few ideas and concepts for things that would happen post-Gladiator canon, so... if I miss them too much, I'd definitely jump right back in and have more fun with our wonderful pair in the AU that stole my soul and still refuses to relinquish it <3

[baekhvuns]

Yeah I was caught can't even defend myself, sighhh. Take me to jail 🥴

I know it's lethal that's why I shared it with the rest of the class <3 omg really but why didn't anyone write it for Hwa (at least to my knowledge) when all the material is THERE, like the belly chain... come on 💀 gonna write it in my head I guess

Seonghwa wouldn't have to wake me up during storm cause I would be awake anyways jhshussyhesusg he would receive no comfort from me I'm afraid

Jaydusuahdhsha I had an earwig come to my room last night fucking helllll they're out of control?! Also why do they have to big bugs almost all the time, why not smaller ones?! Please I wanna become the Queen of insects but idk how to achieve that status

Good luck on your San era hehe, you including Hwa in your San fic though 🤡 Shinestar clown behaviour. I'm not opposed of course. I don't know that San fic I only read a few stories for him but that sounds hilarious as fuck 😭 demon San getting rejected

I saw Hello82's tweet about "studying Europe" guess they read all the outraged tweets lmaoooo the way artists see North America and look away from Canada, rip 💔

Package things nicely ahahaha- 🙃🙃🙃 bestie I'm gonna recruit my friends to help me cause that shit is annoying and exhausting. Yeah 10 video calls in the span of 2 weeks is so weird, doesn't stop some idiots though I just know I'll be seeing the same problematic bitches post their vids and people will spread them 🔫 I need to snatch some of their calls then. Overthrowing the environment noooooo 😭

I will gladly donate to your cause in exchange for more Seonghwa fics 🥰 you deliver Seonghwa I deliver some legs

I wrote my dream down, kinda... for some reason I can't upload screenshots, but I don't wanna spam too much, so I will try later, it wasn't very exciting lmao at least from what I remember. But his behaviour 🙂🙃

Uhmm why is San handcuffed, helllo first Wooyoung in chains in Wonderland now this 👀 I'm sorry though I'm entering my Mingi era again, Choi San you're still my bias, but I'm looking at Mingi... also GIVE THEM THE EYELINER THE SMOKEY EYES I'M BEGGING THIS IS THE RIGHT CONCEPT FOR IT. Also it's funny how they droppef Matz's pics at a totally different time than the rest, they did it for me I think they wanted me to witness Hwa in real time ❤💔

Hope you and your arms get better ❤😭

Also Ateez on Sunmi's Showterview idk how I feel about her hosting but SEONGHWA DANCE GASHINA WITH SUNMI PLS PLS I'M BEGGING. But apparently the show is supposed to be more serious? Hmm such a whiplash after Jessi's hahahah

AND YUNHWA JIGGLE JIGGLE TIK TOK?!?!?! Seonghwa is weird he's a weeeeirdoooo 🥰 and them mesmerising hipssss

P.S. I binged Spy x Family (anime) and it kinda reminds me of Mr and Mrs Park, my main personality trait aka consuming media and putting Seonghwa in it continues, the show is so funny and wholesome I didn't expect it 🤧 I even ordered the whole manga set already - DV 💖

hi hello!

Yeah I was caught can't even defend myself, sighhh. Take me to jail 🥴

LMFAOOOO rare dv anon moment, will absolutely never forget jVDNWBDNW TAKE TO JAIL?? TAKE TO HALL OF FAME

I know it's lethal that's why I shared it with the rest of the class <3 omg really but why didn't anyone write it for Hwa (at least to my knowledge) when all the material is THERE, like the belly chain... come on 💀 gonna write it in my head I guess

ARRESTED 🔫 ON SPOT 🔫 no FR THO THE MATERIAL IS THERE tho some ppl have written the nsfw stuff with the chain idk if anyones rly expanded on it 😭😭😭

Seonghwa wouldn't have to wake me up during storm cause I would be awake anyways jhshussyhesusg he would receive no comfort from me I'm afraid

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭😭 imagine just the two of u being scared shitless while trying to give each other comfort and act all mighty but with every thunder u guys just flinch 😭😭🤚🏼

Jaydusuahdhsha I had an earwig come to my room last night fucking helllll they're out of control?! Also why do they have to big bugs almost all the time, why not smaller ones?! Please I wanna become the Queen of insects but idk how to achieve that status

A FUCKING WHAT 😭😭😭???????? GIRLIE BRKQHDKW U GOT SOME PARTY GOING ON OR SOMETHING 😭😭😭🤚🏼 OR OPENED A B&B FOR BUGS 😭😭🤚🏼 LMFAOOOO FHWKFHKWHFKW NEXT TIME THEY COME THRU THE WINDOW ITS JUST U SITTING ON THE BED WITH SOME TIARA 😭😭😭

Good luck on your San era hehe, you including Hwa in your San fic though 🤡 Shinestar clown behaviour. I'm not opposed of course. I don't know that San fic I only read a few stories for him but that sounds hilarious as fuck 😭 demon San getting rejected

LMFAOOOO SEONGHWAS NEVER LEAVING HIS SERIES COMES AFTER TWO ONE SHOTS ANYWAYS FBWNFHEJ 😭😭😭 it was rly funny he tried twice but the girlie kept rejecting his ass 🤚🏼🤚🏼😭 “can we do this tomorrow?” “you said that yesterday”

I saw Hello82's tweet about "studying Europe" guess they read all the outraged tweets lmaoooo the way artists see North America and look away from Canada, rip 💔

JDJDJDJDJD NO WAY 😭😭🤚🏼 manifesting ateez concert for u ✨✨🤌🏼 or fansigns and all the hwa pc’s FBMABDKS NO BC ITS SO SAD LIKE ITS LITERALLY 30 MINS AWAY FROM THE U.S 😭😭🤚🏼

Package things nicely ahahaha- 🙃🙃🙃 bestie I'm gonna recruit my friends to help me cause that shit is annoying and exhausting. Yeah 10 video calls in the span of 2 weeks is so weird, doesn't stop some idiots though I just know I'll be seeing the same problematic bitches post their vids and people will spread them 🔫 I need to snatch some of their calls then. Overthrowing the environment noooooo 😭

JDJDJD do u guys also have those business cards 😭😭🤚🏼 NO HEY THAT SOUNDS SO MUCH OK ID BE FIRST IN LINE TO HELP 🔫 omg….totally forgot about problematic ppl sTOP there’s gonna be toe showers and stuff too pls NAURURURURUR snATCH THEIR CALLS JVDKJVDKSV

I will gladly donate to your cause in exchange for more Seonghwa fics 🥰 you deliver Seonghwa I deliver some legs

i accept this deal absolutely absolutely 🤲🏼 LMFAOOOO U GOT IT WILL BE WAITING FOR THE SHIPMENT FBFB

I wrote my dream down, kinda... for some reason I can't upload screenshots, but I don't wanna spam too much, so I will try later, it wasn't very exciting lmao at least from what I remember. But his behaviour 🙂🙃

oh 👁👄👁 pls do share absolutely i am all free bc guess who got miss rona <3 bc of a parent <3 fbwmfhkw HIS BEHAVIOUR WHAT DID HE SAY WHAT DID HE SAY HELLO HELLO FJWNFSHDKDHKW WILL THIS PICTURE TRIGGER U

Uhmm why is San handcuffed, helllo first Wooyoung in chains in Wonderland now this 👀 I'm sorry though I'm entering my Mingi era again, Choi San you're still my bias, but I'm looking at Mingi... also GIVE THEM THE EYELINER THE SMOKEY EYES I'M BEGGING THIS IS THE RIGHT CONCEPT FOR IT. Also it's funny how they droppef Matz's pics at a totally different time than the rest, they did it for me I think they wanted me to witness Hwa in real time ❤💔

OH????? MINGI ERA???? DO I HAVE TO PULL OUT MY MINGI WIPS????? AYO???? 👁👁👁👁👁 PLS SOMEONE EDITED WOOYOUNG WITH SMOKEY EYES ON THE TEASER BUT UNFORT I CANT FIND IT JGBENF no bc is there a reason for it 🔫🔫 i just be thinking they saw our reactions to it and said “lol sorry” and them posted at right time BUT TODAY WE GET ANOTHER CONCEPT PHOTOS??? CANNOT WAIT BC SEONGHWA 😭😭😭

Hope you and your arms get better ❤😭

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 miss rona came <3

Also Ateez on Sunmi's Showterview idk how I feel about her hosting but SEONGHWA DANCE GASHINA WITH SUNMI PLS PLS I'M BEGGING. But apparently the show is supposed to be more serious? Hmm such a whiplash after Jessi's hahahah

idk how to feel abt hers either bc jessi RAN that show with all her might,,, she made it POPULAR FBWKDHKW STOP U ALREADY KNOW HES GONNA START DOING IT FIRST THING 😭😭😭 o man is it??? hopefully its mot the awkward type of serious 😭😭🤚🏼

AND YUNHWA JIGGLE JIGGLE TIK TOK?!?!?! Seonghwa is weird he's a weeeeirdoooo 🥰 and them mesmerising hipssss

LMFAOOOO SEONGHWA WAS VIBRATING JFBWKDBWKFB petition for hwa’s stage name to be changed to shakira bc his hips do not lie 🔫

P.S. I binged Spy x Family (anime) and it kinda reminds me of Mr and Mrs Park, my main personality trait aka consuming media and putting Seonghwa in it continues, the show is so funny and wholesome I didn't expect it 🤧 I even ordered the whole manga set already - DV 💖

AYO???? i..ayo i kinda see it BFKWHD NO BC SAME I WILL INDULGE SEONGHWA IN ANY MOVIE IM WATCHING AND THE WAY ID HAVE TO LOOK AWAY AT CERTAIN TIMES no bc imagining seonghwa in 10 things i hate abt u as heath was my 13th reason 😭😭 IT IS SO FUNNY FBFBFB TRULY ABSOLUTELY omg do u rmr maid sama 😳🤚🏼

he.

also choi san