#i think I failed at making her ugly tho

[icarusredwings]

Just before I go to bed.

PRINCESS PUPPINS!

[coff33andb00ks]

Luxury - LN

Part 2 of Hopeless Lando Norris x fem!reader (mentions of reader x Charles Leclerc) Summary: and if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once Themes: none just sex Song: slut! by taylor swift word count: 3949 Warnings: smut, minors dni!, cheating, lando's a bad friend, charles is a bad boyfriend even tho he's not there, reader is a bad girlfriend, honestly the only decent person in this mini series is Oscar, unprotected sex, heaps of praise, and proofreading? we don't know her Notes: again I'm not condoning cheating (unless it's Lando) thanks to those that encouraged me to write this from reader's pov, although I got carried away with the smut. Soooo there's going to be two more parts to this to finish their story <3

You love Lando.

Because he's… Well, Lando. He's become your very best friend. You can talk to him about anything, whether it's work or the shoes you're thinking of getting or the book you just finished, he's always willing to listen. He commiserates over bitchy coworkers, encourages you to just get the fucking shoes, and questions the decisions of the characters you're in love with. He's always up for a game, even if it's three in the morning and he's flying out at nine. He doesn't complain when you show up and bake enough pastries and cupcakes to fill a supermarket, warning you not to tell his trainer when he sneaks a few.

And he makes you laugh. Only he can bring out the ugly snorting laugh that you hate, but you kind of love it because it makes him giggle hysterically.

It's Lando. You don't know how you survived as long as you did before he came, screaming with laughter, into your life.

So, when you began having doubts about Charles, there was only one place to go. You've lived in Monaco with your boyfriend for six months and still haven't made a local friend. Lando's there, and he takes one look at you and lets you in.

And here you are, hugging him after pouring out your worries over Charles' behavior. Because he made you laugh, like he always does.

"If he is cheating, he's a fucking moron. You're not even my girl and I can't find anyone that compares."

Lando's words give you pause and you stare at him. You're used to him cracking jokes. Even if you're having a bad day he never fails to make you cackle until you're crying and snorting – like he just did. This time, though, he's not joking. His eyes aren't dancing with humor, he doesn't have that stupid grin that's not a grin like he does when he's trying to make you laugh.

Your eyes dip to his mouth.

Suddenly, you want to feel his lips. You've felt them on your cheek. Lando is a clingy friend, so it's not new to be this close to him. He's always hugging you, kissing your cheeks, resting his head in your lap, leaning against you when he's drunk. But you want his lips on yours. You're not perfect, you've wondered more than a few times what it would be like to kiss him. Lifting your gaze to his eyes again, you breathe in.

"Lando," you whisper. You can hear the longing in your voice and see it mirrored in his eyes.

You both lean in, meeting halfway, and—

Fireworks.

His breath stutters against your lips, his forehead resting against yours briefly. "Y/n," he gasps. The fingers on your cheek slide into your hair and his lips are on yours again, fully this time.

It's gentle but wild, both desperate and calm. It soothes you and sparks a fire at the same time. Your hands cup his neck, hear his moan echoing yours as your tongues meet. The dance that's as old as time that has you craving more, your secret fantasies rising up while you picture his lips and tongue on your skin.

Lando's arm wraps around your waist and you willingly move closer, craving the tenderness and the heat. His mouth is still on yours and you settle in his lap, pressing as close to him as possible. He's the first breath of oxygen after being underwater. The first raindrops after a dry spell.

You never want this kiss to end.

You feel alive, and right now you can't think about what that means, you can only think of how invigorating this is. Pressing tighter against him you whine, feeling him growing hard in his sweats.

He tears his lips from yours with a gasp, eyes glazed with desire, his pulse racing beneath your fingertips. Digging his fingers into your waist, he presses his face against your neck, nuzzling and kissing. Breathing deeply, like you're his source of air.

"God, Lando," you whisper, wrapping your arms around him and letting your head fall back.

"Please," he moans, both arms around you now, and you can hear the faint whine in his voice. "Please, y/n…"

You nod, tugging on his hair and catching him in another kiss.

"Y/n," he whispers at the corner of your lips, and you can feel that he's holding himself back.

"Yes."

It's barely left your mouth when he's standing, holding you to him. You make a mental note to ask him when he learned to be graceful, because he always trips over stuff or walks into doorways. With your legs around him and your lips on his, though, he isn't, and you don't realize he's gotten to his bedroom until he's lowering you on his bed.

You drag him down with you, half fearful that if you break contact you'll think of a reason to stop. Or he will. And you can finally admit to yourself that you've wanted this for so long, now it's here you don't want it to end.

He moves up the bed, dragging you with him, kiss interrupted by his little chuckle. Pulling back a little, he cups your cheek and breathes your name. He stares at you, reverence bordering on worship, as though he can't believe you're there. "Y/n…" It's a whisper and a prayer and a plea and your racing heart twists and tumbles in your chest.

You say his name the same way, breath catching at the way he melts over you. The gentle wildness, calm desperation, is back, growing frantic while he seems determined to kiss you until you forget everything for him. His kiss grows feverish, breathless gasps whispering over your lips. His hands are everywhere, pushing and pulling at your clothes and you unknowingly mirror his touch, whining when he sits back and rips his shirt over his head.

His eyes are feral, branding each spot of your body he glances at. He squeezes your hips, dragging your shirt up with his blazing palms, his teeth catching his bottom lip as you arch towards him. Your shirt and bra slip away and he presses his face between your breasts, his breath pure fire. Holding you up, his lips whisper over your skin, hand clutching the back of your neck when his mouth closes over your nipple.

Crying out his name, you clutch at his shoulders, squeezing your legs around his waist. He licks and sucks, slow but needy, tightening his hold each time you tremble. Each tiny motion sends narrow flames of desire coursing through your veins, gathering in the pit of your abdomen, twisting and curling like his tongue, until you feel the ache of need. "Lando… Please, Lando…"

You're grinding against him, able to feel how wet he's making you, and you know he can feel it too when he moans harshly and releases your nipple. He shifts, groaning low in his chest as his cock presses against you. "Shit, baby…"

He guides you back down, lips crashing into yours, and his hands tremble as he briefly fumbles with the button of your shorts. His breath fans over your cheek and he deepens the kiss, both of you whining when he pulls back again. Dragging your shorts down your legs, he stares into your eyes, balling them up in his fist and flinging them over his shoulder.

"You're so beautiful," he says softly, staring at you in awe.

The way he said it, coupled with the look in his eyes, made you feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. There was something so heartfelt about the compliment that you felt the unexpected sting of tears.

Lando's fingertips trail over your skin, lips moving silently as he traces the dips and curves of your hips and thighs. An ode to you that was unheard but understood. He swallows hard, closing his eyes briefly before raising his eyes to yours again. Leaning down, he gives you a tender kiss. You cup his face then drag your hands down, memorizing his chiseled form, and when your fingertips reach the waistband of his sweats he hums, gently catching your wrists and guiding your hands above your head.

You gasp for a breath as he rains kisses down the side of your neck, scattering them over your chest, his destination clear when he moves lower, nipping gently at your skin. You lift your head slightly and find him staring up at you, eyes greener than usual. He's so beautiful it takes your breath away.

He hooks his thumbs in your panties and drags them down, scattering worshipful kisses down to your ankles. His lips slide into a playful smile and he lightly tickles behind your knee, grinning when you squeal. The brief lightheartedness eases the tension and you're able to breathe, but the foggy haze of passion doesn't fade one bit. It only increases as he gently spreads your legs, his eyes still on yours.

He's still staring up at you when his tongue drags up your slit, and maybe he kept staring at you but you couldn't be aware, your head falling back with a lustful moan at the sensation. You hear him swallow, his appreciative moan vibrating against your core. He does it again, delving deeper, a soft hum pulsing against your clit.

"Fuck," you gasp, feeling his grip on your thighs tighten when you tried to squirm.

"Lemme take care of you baby," he murmurs. Swirling his tongue over your clit, he teases over and over before giving it a noisy kiss. "You're so wet for me, y/n…"

You force your head up, breath catching because he's still staring up at you. Eyes locked, you can't look away, hands gripping at the sheets while his lips sweep along your slit. The ache inside you only grows, almost painful now as he lifts his head, lips glistening. He licks them slowly and you're in awe at the look of bliss on his face.

"Fuckin' knew you'd taste good," he murmurs before settling more firmly between your legs. He's gentle, hands making their way to your hips while he nuzzles and kisses your clit.

"Please," you whine.

He hums, somehow managing to look innocent, and you watch his eyes darken. Kissing your clit again, he pulls it between his lips, his hand sliding from your hip. Your back arches, his name a ragged moan as his finger teases your entrance and his tongue settles on your clit.

You want to know how he got so fucking good. How he knows what you like when you've never discussed sex with him before. And you think he may be a mind reader because he seems to know just what you want. He keeps his tongue on your clit, licking gently but rapidly, two long fingers inside you, curling and stroking slowly. You're gasping, trembling, hips jerking, heart hammering, still unable to look away from his eyes. The moans of his name turn into whines then whimpers and you feel your body tighten, pussy clenching around his fingers, your breathing stuttering and stopping completely when he curls them deeper, steadily rubbing your spot, and—

"Lando!"

You're cumming, harder than you thought you would. It takes your breath away and you're consumed by exhilaration, your vision going black then exploding with a galaxy's worth of stars. It's too much but you never want it to end, your voice breaking as you cry out to him.

You blink and try to catch your breath, weak but still wound tight. And he's there, softly licking you clean, murmuring sweetly while he crawls up, hands gentle on your trembling body. Shaking hands grab at his biceps and you feel tears on your cheeks when his fingers brush them away.

"It's alright, love," he whispers, lips brushing yours twice before he kisses you tenderly. He curls over you, almost protectively, his voice gently praising you. "Breathe, darling, it's alright…"

"Jesus," you hiss when you can finally speak, blinking rapidly to get your bearings.

"You're so gorgeous when you cum," he murmurs, tracing your cheek with his thumb. His eyes are so soft, practically glowing with admiration. Staring at you as though you're the source of everything good in his world. "You're always beautiful… Like, bathed in sunlight beautiful, you know?" He closes his eyes briefly, breathing slow as his lips return to yours in a kiss that leaves you weak. "But right now, right here…" He sighs. "You're breathtaking."

And you feel breathtaking. Stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, adored, worshipped, all the adjectives you'd use to describe the leading women in the romances you read. You never want to not feel this way again. "Lando?"

"Hm?" He's still staring at you like you hung the stars.

"I need you." Your arms still feel weak but you run your hands over his shoulders, leaning in for a slow kiss while your fingers trace down his sides. Long, languid moments pass while you kiss, so caught up in the feeling of being cherished you're distracted, enjoying the soft suppleness of his lips on yours. His palm cups your neck and there's a subtle change, your breath quickening as his mouth slants over yours. Nudging the waistband of his sweats down, you hear his soft hum, miss the touch of his hands when he reaches down to push them off, his hands bumping into yours when you both reach to ease down his boxer briefs.

He breaks the kiss with a little laugh but it dies as your hand cups around his cock. And the sound he makes is the sexiest sound you've ever heard. It's a gasping, whiny moan, and suddenly you need to know the sounds he'll make when he's inside you. Stroking him, you stare into his eyes and see the question burning. You nod, reluctantly letting go, anticipation stealing your breath as he nudges your thighs further apart. He sits back, lightly clapping and squeezing your thighs.

"God, you're hot," you say without thinking.

Lando smirks, squeezing your thighs again. "You think so?"

You roll your eyes. "Fuck's sake, look at you," you tell him, sweeping your hands through the air to indicate… him. Tousled curls, lean muscle, golden tan. You blink, focusing on the necklace he's wearing, lips parting in surprise.

It's the one you gave him for his birthday last year. You don't know why it makes you feel all soft and mushy inside to see him wearing it now. He's worn it plenty of times, but seeing it on him now, on a day you know he didn't plan to see you… It means something to you.

"You can take a photo if you like," he says.

Giggling, you're half-tempted to take him up on the offer, but he shifts, and his cock glides along your slit and your need is back in full force. "Later," you whisper, hips rolling upwards.

"Yeah?" He smirks again, eyes flicking from your face to between your thighs. His hands slide up, thumb whispering over your clit as he leans over you, his other hand gripping the pillow by your head.

Threading your fingers through his hair, you spread your legs wider, meeting his eyes as his cock slowly pushes into you. The stretch pulls a whine from your chest and you hear his gasping moan. He bites his lip but it doesn't muffle the whimper as he sinks into you and you arch, the sound almost sending you over the edge.

"Shit – fuck," he gasps, clutching tightly at your thigh.

"I know baby," you whine, digging your fingers into his scalp.

"Knew you'd feel good," he whispers between noisy kisses, holding your thigh against his hip as he presses as deep as possible.

"You feel better," you pant. It's like he was built to fill you, and when he's over you like this you can feel his heartbeat against your chest, thrilled that it's racing as fast as yours. It's almost perfect, the way he feels in and over you, but you need more. Your body craves all of him and you whisper a plea, feeling a shiver ripple through him.

He begins to move. Slow and tender, holding your thigh and cupping your neck. Breathless, almost sloppy kisses between echoing gasps and whines and moans. Your nails drag over his skin and you revel in the way he practically whimpers your name. His room is soon overheated, sweat beading on your skin and he inhales sharply, dipping his head to lick it from your throat then leans back, fingers dragging down your front.

You arch into his touch and it leaves goosebumps in its wake. So good. The words echo over and over in your mind, falling from your mouth like a fervent mantra.

"Look at you," he moans, resting his hand on your lower abdomen. "You're being so good, taking all of me."

"Fuck," you whisper, shocked that the phrase has you clenching and dripping around him. If he keeps that up you know you'll cum again—

"C'mon." It's a low, breathy groan. "Work for it, baby."

You grab at the sheets then at him, needing to feel his skin as you begin to roll your hips. He matches your pace, his hands keeping you steady when your back arches and you cry out his name.

"Yes, just like that," he whispers.

"Lando—"

"I know, I know…" He leans down, nipping at your bottom lip then kisses you, and you can feel his neediness. "You feel so good, y/n—"

"Gonna cum," you whimper, clutching at his sides then his back, your hips jerking now. Your head falls back, the heat in and around you almost overwhelming and in the split second before you break you hear him whimper.

He wraps his arms around you as you arch off the bed, holding you to him, his hips moving steadily, his voice coaxing you – let it out, baby, let me hear you. You shudder and scream, panting when he drags you upright with him, lips crashing against yours while he holds you. "Don't stop," he begs, an edge to his voice, and his hands slip on your skin, grasping tight enough to leave bruises. "Give it to me again, love."

"C-can't," you whine, wrapping your arms around his neck. And even though you say it you move, trembling and panting, stars blinding you.

Or maybe it's just the pure desperation in his eyes.

"Yes you can," he murmurs. One hand slips between you and there's giddiness in his smile when his fingers strum your clit and you let out a shout.

"It's—" You curl your fingers in his hair, feel the sweat, hear his heavenly moan. And words you never thought you'd say tumble from your mouth. "It's never been this good – I love it."

His arm tightens around you and you feel his cock twitch inside you. "Me too," he whispers, other hand dancing up your spine and cupping the back of your head, his fingers still steady on your clit. "Love it, y/n."

"Don't stop," you beg, rocking harder in his lap.

Lando whines softly, tongue darting over your lips. "You're gonna make me cum."

You slow, enjoying his little growl. Invigorated by his eagerness, you have a split second of panic because he's not wearing a condom but it's immediately forgotten, your toes curling as his fingers rub harder. And for a nanosecond you imagine being pregnant with his child. "Lan…"

"Need it. This. You." It's nonsense but not really, mumbled against your lips, his eyes drifting closed. "Love it. This…"

"You," you breathe.

His eyes snap open and he gasps, panic flashing then disappearing when you nod. "Not supposed to."

"Can't help it," you moan.

He hisses, squeezing his eyes shut. "D'you want to not?"

"No," you cry.

He kisses you, guiding you back down, and it's bliss, it's heaven, it's pure ecstasy, it's everything it's supposed to be. Euphoria wrapped in blazing heat and vivid light. He's whimpering and moaning against your lips, hips flush with yours and straining, and another orgasm crashes through you at the feel of him cumming, his body your new temple, his name your new prayer.

When you can breathe again you wait for the awkwardness. The weirdness. But it doesn't come. He's still tender and sweet, murmuring even more praise. His hands are gentle where they'd been rough, his lips soft on your cheeks. When he pulls away there's a mutual hiss, and you see the smirk of pride when he looks down to see his cum trickling out of you.

"You can take a photo if you like," you joke, watching his cheeks darken as he grins at you.

"Don't tempt me." He leans to give you another kiss. "Be right back."

You nod, humming as he drags the covers over you before he leaves. He goes into the bathroom and you lie there, surrounded by his scent, feeling his sweat dry on your skin, body still tingling from the best sex you've ever had. You sigh, wondering when the guilt will creep in.

It doesn't yet but you know it will eventually.

Lando returns, washcloths in hand, and you're both silent while he clears the drying sweat from your body, eyes locking when he gently cleans your slit. He flings the cloths towards the bathroom and sits on the edge of the bed, fixing the duvet over you.

"Y/n?"

You sit up, recognizing the vulnerability. It's rare that Lando's like this. He confesses to weaknesses but rarely ever bares them, and it almost breaks your heart, hearing the worry in his voice. Waiting for him to speak, you watch his fingers pleat and twist then smooth the fabric of the duvet.

"What happens now?" he whispers, slowly lifting his head at the same time as you.

"I don't know," you admit.

He nods, swallowing, and looks away.

"I'll go," you say. Because you can't do this. You can't be awkward with him. Better to just pull away even though it's too late for that. Ripping the bandage off will leave a scar but it's for the best. You'll only hurt him more if you stick around.

You're nearly off the bed when he finally speaks again.

"Stay." It's barely a whisper. The sound of him stretching across the bed is louder, and his fingers grasping at yours are loudest of all.

You know what will happen if you do. You can't even let yourself think of what's already happened, how you're no better than the boyfriend you allegedly love, or how everything has changed.

"I meant it," he says, his voice stronger now.

You look from his hand to his face.

"I wanted this. But… I need you." His voice shakes a little but he says the words and you know how much it means that he's doing this.

Lando doesn't discuss his feelings. Ever. You asked him once and he shrugged, eyes shuttering as he'd explained he'd been hurt too much before. Turning your hand, you let your fingers twine with his.

"I wanted this." He draws in a shaky breath. "I know I wasn't supposed to, but I…"

You wait, knowing he has to work through it. He hates for anyone to put words in his mouth. So you give him the time, unconsciously pulling your legs back onto the bed.

"I like this." He gestures to the twisted sheets. "More than I dreamed I would. But… I love us, y/n."

"I love us too," you whisper.

His sigh trembles the air around you. Looking at your joined hands, he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. "Stay."

[aakeysmash]

Roommate or boss?

part 2, part 3, part 4

Pairing: f!reader x Katsuki Bakugou.

Warnings: none, really. AND THEY WERE POSSIBLE ROOMMATES, MAYBE?

Context: 3k words. Reader is a barista and she only meets Bakugo at the end of this </3. He’s her boss but she doesn’t know. I don’t delve into this tho, just so you know. They’re both 22.

A/N: never thought I’d write a slow burn but I HATE not giving context. This is just me yapping with zero grammar context whatsoever. The reader is super oc in this one, but all the girl names I thought about were UGLY. Let me know what you think about it!

“No.”

“Come onnnn it’s gonna be just this one time” pleads your best friend from the other end of the phone.

“Ochaco, you know I hate when you pull this shit” you reply, while putting your jacket on.

“I knowww, but listen, me and the cute guy have had NO time for ourselves lately and-“

“And you’re leaving me doing this assignment with who knows who? We’re always partners for physics, you know I can’t do it all alone and you can’t phrase your deductions to save your life. We complete each other. You’re my soulmate. Why are you leaving me for a guy?” you whine, while closing the door of your apartment and walking towards your car.

“It’s gonna be just this one time, I promise! It’s not like we’re gonna fail. I think. I hope…” she mumbles.

You sigh. “If we do fail, you’re getting your ass beaten, I am so for real” you concede after thinking about it. You start your car and put your phone on speaker.

“BABEEE I love youuuu! You know you’re the only one for me! I promise to finally tell you all the details on Saturday” she squeals.

You wince. “Nah, I can’t this Saturday. I have to work, manager is on vacay. Maybe Sunday?” you said, knowing she will start rambling.

“Y/N just leave that place, they don’t even value you as a person, let alone as a worker. Plus, your manager is a bitch” Ochaco says sternly. “I still haven’t got over the fact she makes you work double shifts just because she wants to be in Bali with her new stupid tomboy. Who, by the way, cheats on her. You said so yourself, and I heard him and your colleague going at it that one time I came to visit you last week -not Momo, bless her heart, how is she by the way?- oh and he steals her money. And-“

“I need the money, and I do love to make coffees for the nice old ladies that tip me” you interrupt your more-than-protective best friend, knowing that she could go on complaining for hours if you didn’t stop her. “Also, I just got to the cafe and I’m already running late. I’ll text you when I get off, okay? Love you”.

“Yeah yeah. Don’t overwork yourself too much, love you” and you hang up.

You and Ochaco have been friends since you were babies. Your parents were neighbours back in your hometown, and your moms coincidentally got pregnant in a span of 2 months apart from each other. You have been attached to the hip all of your school years, and fortunately you have been accepted at the same campus at university. You moved to different apartments because you wanted to be independent, but you are still living pretty near each other. You are enrolled in literature, while Ochaco has a passion for astronomy; you had chosen physics as a bonus class for some extra credits since Ochaco said it would be easy and you trusted her, but she didn’t take into consideration that you failed math throughout all of high school, and she had to save your ass multiple times in the past. You’ll never forget her face when she got an 86% on one of the graded tests she did for you: she was so disappointed she made you ask the professor to redo the test, which you barely knew the basics of. She got 100%, and the professor congratulated you (her) for being such an overachiever. You never felt more ashamed of yourself and proud of your best friend at the same time. On the other hand, she made you do her English essays on a monthly basis, so she really wasn’t in the place to complain about doing all the dirty work for you.

You had partnered up with her since she was a genius, but she met this “cute guy” a month ago and was head over heels for him. She still hasn’t said his name to you, all you know is that he is a part of the physics course and he apparently just stole your assignment partner.

You sigh inwardly. Sometimes you wished love could come to you as easily as it comes to Ochaco. She is a lover girl at heart, nicer than anybody could ever hope to be, but she sure could bite if she had to. She has been there for some of the worst moments of your life, and you have done the same for her. You really didn’t know what you would do without her. Maybe you should get her an apology pastry from the cafe’s leftovers to make up for the last two missed Saturdays (“they’re for the girls!” she said, and you meticulously met up every week up until you had gotten a job).

You’re a bit distracted by thinking about her when you get into the place you work at. It’s a cute cafe, a little bit too orange for your taste, but it’s cozy enough to make work pleasurable. Plus, it’s 5 minutes from your apartment (15 if you walk, but you are lazy). They pay on time, the coffee is good and the clientele isn’t too bad. If it wasn’t for-

“You’re 32 seconds late. You’re getting a formal complaint this time” says your manager, waiting for you with her arms crossed.

“Put that on the note that says I worked 8 extra hours a week for the last 5 months. Hello to you too, weren’t you supposed to be in the Philippines or whatever by now?” you say sickening sweet, with the fakest smile you can muster, while you pass next to her to get to the room behind the register.

“Shut your smart mouth up before I get you fired!” she almost screams. Some of the people at the table near her look at her like she’s crazy before going back to their cappuccino.

“My oh my miss Utsushimi, it’s not nice to use that tone before the rush hour” you reply, giving an apologetic look at your regulars next to her.

“Mpfh, whatever. Close up this place when you’re done, the boss will probably be in to ask you for the keys at the end of your shift. I’ll be MIA for the next two weeks, bye” she says to you. Then she turns around and smiles sweetly at the clients who previously looked at her with distaste and lies “pregnancy hormones I hope, me and my man are trying for a baby, I’m sorry for scaring you!”. You know damn well she had an IUD appointment last week, because she made you work instead of working herself. Fake bitch.

Without saying anything else, she leaves the place.

“I hate her ass so much”, says someone next to you.

You snicker. “Who doesn’t, Momo?” you face her with a genuine smile.

“Never leave me alone with her ever again, you know I can’t survive this place without you, work wifey” she kisses your cheek fast, before going back to making coffee for a client at the register.

“Ochaco will be hearing about this and she’ll slap you” you laugh heartily.

“I love her too, she’s my work wifey’s wifey, so she’s basically my wifey” she winks at you.

After a few more laughs here and there, you both go back to work like usual.

A couple of hours pass and it’s closing time. Momo waves you goodbye, clocking out. “I’m so tired I could sleep on the floor right now” she whines.

“Yeah, how about no. Let’s go, babe. We don’t want to drag Y/N’s time” says her boyfriend, Shoto, who shoots you a nod of acknowledgement before placing a hand on her lower back and escorting her out of the cafe. “I remember suffering at closing times, let’s leave her be and go home” he nudges your colleague, smiling down at her. He has been inside the cafe a lot in the years you’ve worked here, sometimes picking Momo up. Momo says he was one of the best bartenders the cafe ever had, but he found a job that payed him more and he decided to leave. You couldn’t blame him.

“See you soon, you two lovebirds!” you reply, waving a hand of your own.

Now all alone since even the waiters have gone home, you clean up the counter before packing up the pastry for Ochaco.

“Damn, I have to wait for the boss to give him the keys” you remember, rubbing your face.

You wait 45 minutes before a redhead makes his way into the cafe. He seems busy on the phone with someone.

“I’m here, let me just get- fuck no I don’t wanna talk to Camie about it, Baku- no, wait- fire? Are you going to take her place and finally come down here like the boss you are? Yes, I know- what? And where would we- what do I have to do with all of this? No, I’m going home- fuck, he hung up” the man sighs, before turning his body towards you.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting, not really manly from me” he smiles, looking sorry.

“Oh don’t worry about it!” your smile was really stretched, and you think he notices, because he says “sorry” again. “The manager said to give you the keys. So you’re the boss?” you say politely, stretching your hand with the keys towards him.

You’ve seen him multiple times, he’s a regular. He always gets the same order (one black coffee and one hot chocolate with extra cinnamon), and he always tips you and Momo well. Today he seems distressed.

“I wouldn’t wish to be the boss, to be fair. You could say I’m his right hand. Where’s Camie? Boss needs to talk to her in private before next week comes” he sighs.

“She said she’ll be gone for two weeks” you reply, confused.

“And who said she could do that?” Kirishima, you think that’s his name since you’ve written it on his order just yesterday, looks at you in disbelief. You shrug. “I don’t ask. The less I know about her, the better I feel about working here”. You start to pack your things up, before going towards the door with the man following behind you closely.

“This is nuts. I hate doing job interviews” he mumbles fast, turning the key in the lock. You raise an eyebrow, what is he even talking about?

“Do you live near? If not, I could give you a ride. I’d hate losing the only barista who makes boss man’s drink good enough to not make him pissy” he says, while pointing to his car.

You laugh. “It’s just a hot chocolate. Tell him he should try it with a few drops of hot sauce in it. Sounds disgusting but it’s actually pretty good. Also don’t worry, I live just down the street”. He nods and you wave each other goodbye.

“It does sound horrible. Thanks again for waiting, see you tomorrow for the same exact order I always make” he grins, then gets in his car and drives away, not after seeing you get in your car as well.

Once at home you call Ochaco, who’s “been worried sick, you never get home this late”.

“Y/N you seriously need a roommate. Did you even eat?” she reprimands.

You sigh. “I have to meet someone tomorrow. But you know, girls tend to look at you weirdly when you say you need them to know how to cook. They feel like you’re looking for a maid. Like, I can’t eat sandwiches every day like I did with the last roommate I had” you explain while opening your fridge. Sausages and smashed potatoes from yesterday will do the job for today.

“The psycho who thought vegetables made her look weak? Freak” you hear your best friend snicker. “At what time are they coming over?”

You groan and say “8 am. It’s a guy this time. Who wakes up before 8 am at uni? He’s already lost 2 points for this” while gulping down your food.

Ochaco’s snicker is now a full laugh. “People who have their lives together, maybe? But pay attention, males scare me” she replies quieting down.

“Yeah yeah. I’m gonna sleep now, text me the deets for Sunday, okay?” you clean your plate and go to the bathroom to wash your teeth.

“Will doooo. Good night, babe” she smooches on the mic before hanging up.

After making sure you locked your apartment door, you go to your bed, where you manage to fall asleep in thirty seconds.

The next morning you’re brutally awakened by the sound of your doorbell. You look at your phone screen: 7:42 am.

“Who the fuck is it now?” you grumble, before going down the stairs and looking through your peephole.

“Shitty hair I swear if this takes me more than 10 minutes… she hasn’t even opened the door. Yeah, she said 8 am, who cares if I’m early? I AM NOT the only one awake on a Saturday morning. Y’all are just lazy fucks” a blonde rudely says into his phone. You can hear him talking loudly from behind the door. You widen your eyes, before screaming “coming! Give me 5 minutes!” and rushing towards your bathroom to make yourself presentable. “Fuck, I forgot about the roommate appointment” you whine, while putting on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. At least they are clean.

You open the door to find a broad man staring at you menacingly. He’s kinda tall, kinda (really) fit, kinda underdressed for the winter. Kinda hot, too.

“Hi, how can I help you?” you offer him the nicest smile your still sleepy mind can muster.

He looks you up and down, before focusing on your face and levelling you with an indifferent look.

“You must be Y/N. I’m Katsuki Bakugo, we had to meet at 8 am for the spare room offer. I've been here for 15 minutes” he gruffly declares.

You add “rude” to your list of “kinda”. You don’t like his tone. -1 point.

“Yeah, and it’s 7:48” you bite back, your smile faltering while shaking his outstretched hand. He’s definitely going to the gym with the callouses he has.

“Come in, I’ll let you see what you’re getting yourself into”, you say, opening your door more.

You live in a nice apartment, you think. There’s a nice kitchen with a nice island that also serves as a table in front of it, a blueish couch in front of the tv, and a couple of steps that bring you to a corridor with three doors: your room, the spare one and the bathroom.

You describe everything while he stays in absolute silence next to you. It makes you feel uneasy. -1 point.

You just finished showing him the bathroom and are ready to tell him you don’t think he’s a good suitor when he finally speaks up.

“And how much do you pay for this shit?” he asks. Nice voice, you think. Gravelly and rough enough to not sound annoyingly forced. +1 point.

“500 a month” you reply, while returning to the kitchen.

“Your shower needs some work done, it leaks. Also, mold is starting to show on the bathroom ceiling, might wanna check on that. Your oven looks unusable in the condition it’s in. Small tv. At least you’re clean from what I've seen” he begins to say.

You frown and turn to look at him. Did this bitch talk for the first time in 15 minutes only to complain?

“Do you even know how to cook with said oven?” you say, ignoring everything else he just said, and giving him a nasty look.

He tsks. “Yes. Is this your way of asking me to cook you fucking breakfast? I don’t eat with lazy people who get out of bed at 11 am” he makes sure to say.

You scoff. Men really do find the audacity to say stuff like this nowadays? It seems like you've been out of the loop for too much.

“You showed up early. It’s a sign of disrespect, you know? Also no, I know how to fix myself something. I just don’t want you to burn my kitchen down to a crisp and smell takeout whenever I get home” you say in the rudest way you find possible.

He smirks before saying “might wanna check on that fucking attitude of yours too before I poison your food”, tapping your shoulder to get you out of the way and take out some pans. You showed him where to find them earlier on.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you say in disbelief. “This is still my kitchen. Get out”.

He rolls his eyes. “I’m making you fucking breakfast to say sorry for interrupting your princess sleep. Just make coffee while I come up with something. If you know how to make it, that is” he doesn’t even look at you while getting eggs, milk and bread out of the fridge.

You’re baffled. He’s making himself at home when you didn’t even say he was accepted.

“Wait, you’re still not-“

“I'll give you the money at the start of every month. I’ll paint the walls of the room, I hate that fucking green, but painters are scammers so I’m doing it myself. I’m clean, I’ll just need a spare key in a matter of days to take my shit here. I’ll keep myself in my room if you keep yourself in yours. Any further requests?” he interrupts you, assembling his french toasts on the pan.

You’re even more stunned. But you’ve always been quick with your thoughts, so you come up with something.

“I’ll say yes if those french toasts are good. If they’re not, your ass is out” you say, still not looking at him, while making coffee.

“Might say yes if you know how to make a hot chocolate from scratch instead of the poor coffee that machine will make” he watches you from the corner of his eye. You scoff, you’re a barista nonetheless: who does he think he’s talking to? Meanwhile, he could swear he knew you from somewhere.

“Deal”.

“Deal”.

Neither to say, the french toasts were “not that bad” and your hot chocolate was “barely fucking acceptable”.

[karlachismylife]

Me: scrambling to finish homework before my linear algebra class

My brain: can you imagine fem!ghoap tho?

I can't, I'm my biggest fucking enemy. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE FEM!GHOAP THO?

Fem!Soap has absolutely Harley Quinn vibes, batshit crazy with a sprinkle of pyromania and several decades of unmedicated ADHD. If Soap got his haircut inspiration from some local punk band in his hometown, fem!Soap was the leader of said band, adding to Mam's grey hair every time she returned with new tattoos. Was playing football, when a new kid tried outcasting her cuz she's a girl, went on to beat the shit out of him.

That story about a higher ranking officer Soap punched? Sleazy motherfucker was harassing other women on the base and was unfortunate enough to choose fem!Soap as a target.

Walks around in tank tops and sport bras, all muscle no boobs, probably has a couple fake teeth, always is the one fellow female soldiers turn to when they need to get rid of assholes in the pubs they go for drinks to. Absolutely relishes in being called a "fucking butch" and whatever else those pathetic men try to throw at her, quickly fizzling out when they realize her biceps is the size of their thighs. She worked hard to be better than them, no matter how much some of her family wanted her to be a bit more... traditional. Not her Maw, though, Maw always said if her little Jenny wanted to be a soldier, she could be a damn good one.

Regularly participates in armrestling matches (banned in several pubs where she got carried away and broke someone's wrist) and pays for the round whenever she wins.

All those girls (and some guys) hanging off her elbows, and everyone assumes she's going home with one (or several) of them every time.

And fem!Ghost? She might have a horrible reputation, people spreading disgusting rumors about her past and what's under that mask (doesn't bother her, truth is so much more gruesome). Keeps to herself, grim sense of humour doing nothing to make her seem more approachable. A looming shadow, the personification of horrors they tell about what war and captivity do to women - and that's for those who actually know she's a woman. Most people just assume she's a big fucking guy, loose hoodies helping pass, deep, hoarse voice - never came back as it was from the time with Roba, broken by her screams with an ugly scar on her throat on top - only adding to confusion.

Too much baggage to unpack, all those things done to her easier to cut off with the dirty blond hair she buzzes to avoid the fuss. Every chance of having a family robbed of her in horrific ways, loneliness feels safer. Easier. Everyone's better off without needing to bear all those tons of crap she hoards on her broad shoulders.

Sits apart from the main company on those outings, nursing her bourbon and freaking people out - if she gets hit on, she sends everyone off with a few words. Even Soap, the blasting (sometimes too bloody brightly) sunshine, seems to fail with illuminating that shadow, all her attempts to get closer shut down. Maybe not as harsh as the others, but Ghost thinks - everything she touches is destroyed in torturous ways.

Soap shouldn't suffer because of her.

Until one day the chair in front of her lone table gets dragged back with a disgusting screeching sound, a heavy thump signaling of a huge (drunk) body plopping down across. Ghost doesn't need to look up - she can detect Soap by the stupid mutt's loud breathing, for fuck's sake. How many did she have?

Too many, thinks Ghost when a tanned arm lands on the table, resting on the elbow in a ready to wrestle stand. Must've been some kind of bet, no one else brave enough to challange big Scottish butch - so bored Soap, naturally, comes to one person she probably deems a worthy opponent.

"Not gonna let me back out, are ya?" Ghost shakes her head with a chuckle and finishes her bourbon, putting the glass down lazily and forgetting to pull the mask back down.

Soap's arm hits the table so hard it nearly cracks the wood - mere seconds.

Disarmed by a crooked, scarred smirk her big blue eyes are so obviously glued to.

"What now? Buy me a drink?" Ghost tilts her head. There's a shocked crowd around them, someone collecting a hefty win.

"Buy ye two and ye owe me a rematch."

Stupid mutt with blue eyes. Ghost wonders if she'll whine like a puppy riding her burly thigh.

i have somewhat a part two here

[atopvisenyashill]

Hey how come all the costumes in the final couple seasons of got were just black leather with pointy shoulders and chains

the real answer is that michele clapton is a hack and fraud who hates me, personally.

but there's probably a few reasons. i think irl, people associate black, leather, and wide shoulders with power, intimidation, more serious energy so to visually signal that sansa, cersei, dany, etc are now Power Players they have to put them in those costumes. michele clapton especially really loved using black leather and chains to signify Someone Is Being Serious - she has that interview where she talked specifically about Cersei and Dany wanting to be taken seriously by shying away from colors, using "chains of intent", and emulating the men who had the greatest affect on them ie Tywin and Viserys. You can really see when you look at Michele's interviews that she's bringing her own view of things into the costumes, which, yeah that's how it works (there's like a joke that Bear McCreary, for example, uses his partner as a singer in all of his soundtracks purely because he just wants to hear her sing lol) but I do think you really see the limits of her creativity there too. She has this idea that extravagance = unseriousness which is incredibly at odds with the way George has built up his world - I mean, Aegon IV was out here wearing like a 9 pound crown, and Daeron II wore it as well specifically to show how serious he is about being King. Roose wears all pink! The Tyrells are always awash in color, hell the Lannisters are always awash in color. The only person it makes sense to shy away from color is Dany - I imagine it was just easier for Viserys to find black leather to wear and buy that still showed his house colors than something red so that's why he leaned on it, and it would make sense that Dany is trying to emulate the only other Targaryen she knew by dressing the way he did when she feels like she's finally stepping into her role as The True Queen of Westeros. For Cersei, Sansa, even Arya, I think it's deeply silly that she took that similar approach.

Like, I do think some of her choices were okay - I love that she usually has Dany wearing trousers of some sort underneath her dresses because she felt like she always needed to prepare to run away, for example. I love Cersei's coronation dress, if not the ugly crown. I liked her dedication to making sure the Sons of the Harpy masks looked handmade and not factory produced. I love that Arya outfit in the last season, and I liked the attention to detail there when it comes to the coat looking slashed by Arya herself to make it fit her in the way she wants it to. I think where Michele consistently fails is a) the idea that the North is somehow less interested in fashion when the reality is that the North simply has different taste in fashion because they have a vastly different climate than most of the other kingdoms (similar to Dorne) and b) she tends to conflate feminimity and androgyny with weakness or silliness and masculinity with strength. It's not to say that you shouldn't think about the ways in which We As A Culture define power when designing a costume but just uncritically regurgitating "man = strong, woman = weak" sartorial work is lazy beyond belief. Jany Temime is leagues better, like even with some of my criticism of her work, I think she just has a much deeper understanding of color work, silhouette, and the way character informs style.

(people through a FIT in the tags of that post i linked tho even tho the op was Literally just making a gifset showing the costume change? no it's problematic to say "dany is trying to be taken seriously by emulating her brother" even though...that's literally exactly what she's doing. once again, targ nation are babies, sorry for my hater rant here but that post is one of the most annoying pile ons in this fandom to me).

[nono-uwu]

Chapter 136 thoughts -w-

Spoilers duh

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- this chapter was certified meh. Mid, even. Not great, not horrible, just eh

- Mika looks so fucking ugly atp

- Urd in action!! Too bad he looks ugly as hell while at it

- Since when was there a curse that vampires can't kill Mikayuu?? This is the first time I'm hearing about it?? Huh

- wow, for once Mikayuu fail at a plan. That's a first

- Krul looks so good, adorable, beautiful. Truly a Queen <3

- No Ferid vs Krul brawl this chapter :(

- also Krul why are you doubting ur abilities against Ferid? Ur still way older than him, have some confidence >:/

- Shinya!! He's so ugly lmao what even

- so is Kureto. Lol. Lmao even.

- Their banter is nice tho. I liked it

- Shinya is so chill with having the wall of his fucking room burst open (not like it's the first time that happened...) bro is over this

- Guren squad soon??

- seems like a deliberate move on Shikama to not reveal that Shinoa is the one devouring him bc despite *gestures vaguely* everything, Yuu would probably still side with Shinoa. I hope.

- Shikama looks a little better art-style wise!

- Right, Yuu's goal now is to resurrect the angels... EVEN THOUGH THEIR REINCARNATIONS ARE LIKE, RIGHT THERE?? Except Asuramaru who he fucking ate

- no way Yuu got the cheatcodes to bypass god himself. Someone gotta smite this overzealous teenager bruh

- also dude, do NOT become Shikama's successor, what is wrong with you, you literally just saw how badly he fucked up bc of the love for his people

- FUCK YEAH SHINOA IDC ABOUT YUU'S GOALS BC HE MAKES ME SICK ATP GO FUCK SHIT UP- I mean whaaat Shinoa no don't destroy Shikama's and Mikayuu's plans noooo :(

- "But I'll take it all from you... So you can never hurt anyone with it again." Queen behavior. Also Shinoa looks v pretty,,,,

- ^ so from that I assume Shinoa isn't just doing allat out of her 'love' for Yuu but also out of love for anyone who got directly involved in Shikama's batshit insane plans (so Mahiru, Kimi and Yoi (they were test subjects too. btw.), probably even Mitsuba and also Yuu and Mika probably. But I also like to think she's doing it for her past self :) )

- anyways watch Kagami make Shinoa go full yandere bc god forbid there is a decently written woman in this series

- ends on Rigr and his squad maybe hopefully cornering Yuu. BEAT HIM UP PLEASE- I mean what noooo let the poor guy destory everything to revive your past angel incaranations :(

[searsage]

What would your thoughts be on a role reverse AU, where humans are the ascendant species and Robin’s the one stuck in the containment cube? I feel like you’d have some thoughts :3c

(sorry my dumbass clicked unfollow instead of ask)

I think I've seen some neat reverse au ideas floating around and i think there is a actually a fic or two about it being the other way around one ao3!

Id definitly check em out!

As for me i have considered it before tho id still have Al-an an architect and Robin a human lol hear me out.

Like the precursors were successful in curing khaara but not before the bacteria managed to make it to sol's solar system, that being the case it was discovered by Alterra and brought back to earth in hopes of weaponized.

This of course was a complete mistake, as they could not control it and the bacteria predictably goes apeshit, infecting everything on earth.

Over the years many attempts to combat the bacterium fails and pretty much all is doomed when the last attempt at a vaccine fails.

Amidst this Sam a scientist once attempted to make a cure but her efforts were in vain, then turned her sights to another frontier, instead turning her talents to creating a way for man to outlive the virus by attempting to flee into stasis, new and a unstable technology but inarguably their last hope.

Yet due to the unauthorized use of materials and lack of time and general lack of support from her peers past her sibling, her creation mostly successful efforts goe unappreaciated and noticed by the wrong person.

Sam contracts khaara, infected by a jealous scientist who planned on stealing credit for her work. Buuuut before dying she managed to trick Robin into a stasis machine hidden in the lab.

Freezing her mind and body in a unstable but lucid like sleep within a cryopod

After it is implied Sam's work was stolen and the fualty prototype rebranded but as a cheap faulty series as they never fully understood Sams backwards blueprints and never discovered the self sufficient staisis machine.

This of course leads to humanity's extinction, the stasis machine failing.

Loooong time later precursors are asigned to Sol to clean up the pieces left behind by the bacteria, when Al-an comes to earth he finds a barren and alien planet, stuggling to recover, khaara has died out mostly but decontamination efforts were still required which is what lands a curious Al-an to explore the ruins of the long extinct species.

Noticing a odd energy pulse he diverges from his intended duties and tracks the tether until he ends up discovering the faulty stasis cryopad in a long destroyed laboratory.

And Robin still dreaming in the pod, but like her bodies heavily damaged from khaara and time breaching the tank.

Of course his reckless curiosity leads him to accidentally disrupting the power/breaking the tank by accident, and realizes the human's body starts rapidly deteriorating.

Without though shrimp boy ends up using alien technology to yank her mind into the his vessel with him.

Unaware that the disgruntled researcher was very much awake and very displeased, as for her one moment she was watching her dying sister scramble to hide blueprints, alterra agents tearing apart her lab, then a alien abducting her!.

In general i like to think Robin would be the one with the pessimistic outlook and internalized trauma, Al-an would likely be vary unprepared to deal with the boarderline suicidal and cynical head voice..

I like to think it would be a nice hurt comfort fic, with alot of inner healing and not only coming to terms with how ugly the world could be event at the end of it! But also learning to retrust people after the betrayal that murdered her sister!

I also want to note while the option to give Robin a body is plausible Al-An outright refuses until long later to offer her one as she has shown signs that she may be a danger to he's self.

Lots of slow steps and self indulgent fluff and validation because i live on that shit…but yeah that was it lol xD

[rantahead]

This is your idea of a Hokage?

If you couldn't tell by the title, this is an anti Sarada post, keep scrolling if you're not into that

Let's begin with the outfit:

ok, so the pose is just… she looks like a wanna be prostitute. Sakura didn’t even dress this way when she was OLDER than Salad, let alone when she WAS her age.

let’s start with the heels. even Tsunade didn’t wear heels that high when she, too, was OLDER than Salad. how can she fight in those? I’m surprised she hasn’t hurt her ankles yet.

those gloves… I have nothing to say about them, they’re normal.

her miniskirt tho, ewww! she has nothing to show at the bottom, but in the Chunin Exams arc, when she stopped when Bolt was attacked, you could see her fucking underwear. it just me hard moving in that ugly ass miniskirt.

the top, oh my god. what if she had a chest? it would be revealed.

her hairstyle too. that is the most disgusting hair style in the entire series.

the glasses, oh don’t get me started. they suit Karin, but Salad, it makes her look even more disgusting and I didn’t think that was possible.

with this design, at least she’s modest (not that much tho). I still stand corrected with her hair style and glasses 🤮.

I have so many things wrong with her timeskip design.

her hairstyle is a lame copy of Bolt’s. she tried and failed.

the outfit! It’s going to fucking fall off her. I’m just waiting for her to be in battle and it to just slip down and show her chest (not that she is one) and it will only be connected at her waist and lower. it also must be uncomfortable moving with such short shorts.

the jacket is a BIG no no. it’s gonna fall off her shoulders. it also looks like a bad copy of Bolt’s jacket, like her hairstyle. she admires Bolt so much that she’s a cheap copy of him (🤢🤮).

her shoes, oh my god. they, too, look like they’re about to fall off. how can she fight in those ugly things? I can’t wait for her to be in the middle of battle, trip in those ugly heels, fall face first on the ground, and break her glasses.

she’s inappropriate (this is probably the biggest board):

there’s plenty more scenes, but I just couldn’t fit them.

she’s always hiding behind people’s backs:

there’s so many more and let alone all the ones in the anime, but I couldn’t fit anymore on there, but there’s so much more.

like, can’t she defend herself??? some Hokage she is gonna be. if she’s like this then I want Iwabe as Hokage.

her Sharingan/Mangekyou awaking was the dumbest and lamest thing in the whole Naruto universe:

she’s rude to her “friends”:

she hit Bolt and drags him and shouts at him. she ditched Mitsuki because he was Orochimaru’s son. she spent an entire arc crying for a dad, and when she got one, she was rude and mean to him. she wanted to ditch Sakura because she thought she wasn’t her mother. she was rude to Kawaki and said he should use his past to justify his actions, which is ironic consider she has done the same thing.

her personality:

don't even get me started

she's a crybaby

she thinks she's oh so good yet needs saving

Mary Sue

rude to people

underestimates her enemies and ends up needing to be saved

overestimates her abilities

constantly belittling Boruto for the tiniest things even tho he's BETTER than her

always shouting

picking fights with anyone

she's dumb

I could go on and on.

she’s such a crybaby:

she cried when she first met Sasuke and he didn’t even show any emotion, goes to show how little he cared about her. she cried when she couldn’t bring the dummy fish alive. she cried for no reason when she questioned Sasuke about her mom. and she cried for no reason when they were fighting Shin.

at this rate, she’s becoming more and more of a lame and useless girl with a boring backstory. I hate her, her looks, her personality, and her in general.

my concerns for her at that she’ll never amount to anything, she’ll go blind by 20, maybe 18, she won’t achieve her dream, she’ll become the most hated character, she will get killed off. I have so many concerns about the direction this character is going.

enjoy Salad’s real face:

[frozenmoonshine]

Headcanon - Tips & Tricks on how to date Sanzu Haruchiyo:

I just wrote this to cope with my unhealthy obsession with this fictional man. He's my absolute favorite TR baby, so forgive me for being shamelessly self indulgent! ...or don't.

If feminine terms of endearment and/or hinted hetero relationship trigger you for any reason, please skip this one. Cheers.

Haru is a lovebug, but that cannot be seen by just anyone. It requires a person with thick, and I mean: THICK nerves and patience to handle him right. He's prone to jealousy, he's headstrong, and he holds his grudges like Mikey's life directly depends on it!

If not handled properly, he will ghost you for days, try to make you jealous, be deliberately mean and controlling/manipulative, or in more extreme cases, turn full on yandere stalker on you! But all of that is triggered by his innate need to be loved and deeply, deeply rooted fear of being abandoned and being less than. So don't make him insecure!

It's highly recommended to build trust with him first, so if you guys start out by being genuine friends first, before you start dating, and then let the things develop naturally from there, there's a lot more chance that he'll open up to you and let you in, and he won't be as afraid of you leaving him or "betraying" him.

Seriously tho, don't leave him! He needs someone to love him, and to love back, way more than he realizes! He desperately needs someone to call "home", someone who will stay, who will accept him, and not judge him for who he is. And who he is deep down is just a soft little baby, that would do anything and everything for his loved one!

Until he gets properly comfortable with you and the fact that someone genuinely cares for him (which is a big challenge for him!) he may occaaionally act inconsistent (not messaging back for hours on end, standing you up for dates, being generally unavailable, etc.) It's either all due to his gang duties, fights, and devotion to Mikey, or simply just his struggle to adapt to love. But you can always be completely certain that he's not cheating!

Why? Because he's simply the type that falls in love for life, stays loyal and faithful even after death does you part (regardless of who dies first), and is so overprotective that it can be too much to deal with sometimes! ("Why is that ugly bitch over there giving you the side eye?! She wants me to explain to her who you are or what?!" - "No one talks like that to my Queen, I'm gonna rip his fucking skeleton apart!" etc.) And yeah, unless you stop him somehow, he will commit homicide just because someone stepped into your lane a bit too rudely for his taste.

Also, once you have successfully conquered his tattered, lonely heart, he would totally call you his Queen, and treat you as such as well. He's a lowkey simp, but a high key gentleman and super respectful in every sense of the word. His manners, albeit a little bit oldschool (legacy of having been brought up by his grandma and Takeomi), are always impeccable! If you didn't know better, you'd easily think he was some rich, spoiled, stuck-up "bocchan".

He'll be very reserved at the beginning of your dating, not exactly shy, but somewhat distant. But he'll never fail to open the door for you, move your chair for you, walk next to the car track making sure you're on the safer side, hold your coat for you or offer his if you don't have one, etc. But even holding hands will only happen after three dates or so.

And the first date is at Cozy Corner, and you guys are getting cheesecakes, it's just a fact, I don't make the rules! Once the relationship gets a bit more established it will become your monthly tradition.

On another negative side of dating Haru, however, be prepared to "share" him with Mikey! Although his attachment to Mikey is not romantic in nature, and Mikey isn't exactly someone to be jealous of in that sense, he will be a significant part of your relationship, as Haru will either talk incessantly about him, or flat our refuse to spend time with you because "Mikey needs him", and to him that is a perfectly valid reason.. But, if you (ideally) share, or (at least) understand his obsession with his King, and support his ambition to be Mikey's right hand man, he'll marry you, no joke!

* * * BONUS * * *

He used to be self conscious about his scars around you at first, not taking the mask off in front of you for 3 whole months of dating. You even "kissed" for the first time over the mask. When you asked him why he always wears it, he tried avoiding the subject at first, but when he realized he can trust you, he admitted he was afraid of your reaction when you see his face (you of course find him nothing less than drop dead gorgeous).

He hates PDA, but is quite affectionate in private, though never smothering. He'll hug you from behind when you're in the kitchen, randomly kiss your temple when you're cuddled up watching a movie together, he always speaks to you in a gentle, loving tone, he rubs small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb when holding hands, he always praises the food you make for him, he tries his best to learn to make your favorites, etc.

When the Kanto Manji-kai started getting seriously corrupted, he tried pushing you away, but you insisted on staying by his side no matter what, and he greatly appreciates you for that. Despite all, you are his safe haven.

In his KMK/early Bonten days, you half-jokingly asked him to teach you to use a sword. He taught you to play shōgi instead. It almost became a weekend tradition for the two of you. Since you started keeping scores, you've been in the lead with 139 wins, over his 137. (He may or may not have let you win on purpose, more than once.) You tease him that it's because he's such a good teacher.

As Bonten's 2nd in command, he's still as loyal to you as always, but you're never his first priority. It's Mikey and Bonten's business, and you know it. However, you can't say you haven't felt jealous of Mikey in some cases. Whenever Mikey calls, Haru will immediately leave, even mid-sex.

He always tries to make it up to you later if Mikey interrupted your time together, tho.

He avoids meeting you on the days when he's had to kill. Not just because he doesn't want to "taint" you, but also because he doesn't like himself when he's high. He'd rather wait for the drugs to wear off before meeting you. If you guys live together, then he'll just spend the day at the Bonten HQ instead.

Once you start living together, he's a godsent to have around the house! You don't have to do any cleaning ever again, his OCD kicks in and your apartment will always be spotlessly clean. He occasionally nags at you to be more tidy tho.

He's even more overprotective as an adult than he was as a teen. if you're going somewhere that is not owned by or affiliated with Bonten, and he can't go with you for whatever reason, you will unavoidably have two of his most trusted subordinates escort you and stay by your side at all times as your bodyguards. And no, he's not trying to contol where you go or what you do, (those two guys basically work for you, not him, at this point, anyway) he just won't leave anything to chance and risk you getting targetted by any of his numerous enemies when he's not around to protect you by himself. When the two of you are together out, he never leaves your side, and always has an arm around your waist or back.

[nerves-nebula]

Donnie wants to kill himself.

His brothers know he’s thought about it before. They are well aware. Leo had those thoughts as well, something Donnie had found reassuring. But with moving out , and therapy, Mikey, Raph, and Leo got better. They improved.

Donnie did not want to hold his brothers back. So when they curbed their worst habits, became happier, and healthier, Donnie did his best to do the same. He didn’t think it was very convincing, but it seemed good enough for his brothers.

(Maybe they didn’t care. Maybe they were willing to turn a blind eye so long as Donnie was no longer making it everyone’s problem.)

So Donnie fakes being happy. He pushes through exhaustion. He lies, and lies, and lies.

Until just being around his brothers is a chore. Until that desire to end his own life, becomes something heavier. Until Donnie is drowning.

Donnie wants to die, but he can’t bring himself to do anything about it. Everyday he wakes up, and this remains true. Donnie keeps making excuses not to act on this desire, keeps letting his cowardice win.

Donnie keeps doing this, and nothing changes. Until it does.

Something gives. The dam breaks. For the first time in a while, Donnie has something to look forward to.

He finishes his work, something for Big Mama. His brothers are not home. He is alone. He can’t help but be happy about this; he does not want to have to smile in the face of his death, as relieving as the thought of it might be. He does not want to feign softness as they pass his room, as he chokes on his own life.

Donnie wants to be selfish, this one, last time.

He writes some letters. His brothers are not home. He’s thought about what he was going to write for a while. A message for Mikey to take care of his plants, for Leo to make sure they’re supported, for Raph to deliver his final invention. For them to look out for each other. For them to find happiness.

He tells them he’s proud of them. He tells them he loves them.

It’s true. It is not totally honest, but he has not lied. He wants to leave them with these pretty words, flowery sentiments, rather than the ugly, mess of every emotion that’s driven him to this edge.

He feels like he could hack the words up, like poison, like some sick confession that would do nothing but hurt everyone involved.

He thinks he’d rather die avoiding such things. Bury that harshness with him.

Donnie writes the letters. And he thinks there is something to be said about what does not reach the pages. He does not say it’s not your fault. He does not say he’s happy for them.

The letters are light and conversational, a fragile illusion. He places them at his brothers’ bedsides.

Donnie mixes a potion. His brothers are not home.

Donnie smells the brew. It smells sweet, but he knows it will be tasteless. Almost perfect, if not for the syrupy consistency of the potion.

There are worse sensations to have to endure as you die, he thinks.

His brothers are not home when Donnie downs the glass. His brothers are not home when Donnie’s drifts to sleep. His brothers are not home when his heart slows and his organs fail.

Donnie stops breathing.

His brothers are not home.

…

Leo gets home first.

He does not go to his room, instead walking past Donnie’s room on the way to the kitchen. It is four pm and Leo does not want her brother to sleep the day away.

Leo sees Donnie sleeping at his desk, clearly having working himself to exhaustion as he tended to. Leo shakes him awake.

Donnie does not wake up.

Nothing wakes him up.

this is great cause i was JUST thinking about how much i love writing suicidal characters. i was literally just thinking "yeah i love this character... what if he was suicidal tho"

this is ALSO GREAT BECUASE. OAUGHASG.

Donnie writes the letters. And he thinks there is something to be said about what does not reach the pages. He does not say it’s not your fault. He does not say he’s happy for them.

THIS. THIS IS SO. THIS IS SO EVERYTHING. AGUAHGADSFSJHGAG. i love the thought put behind this sentiment, he doesn't wanna blame them or hurt them but he also can't.,,a,fauhga,fsdfaguhagsdfag.

[reeama-the-mage]

Hey hey does anyone wanna see my headcanons about how the dead boy detectives crew and the Find Us Alive crew would interact? *vibrating at the speed of light*

Too bad ur getting them anyways!!!!!! U clicked on this read more uve become a willing participant can't leave now, only the main crews or else this post would really get too long

Generally I think Lancaster and Love might b the only ones actually able to see the ghost boys? But I'm saying they all can bcuz being in site 107 couhts as enough supernatural experience

OK ok first of all my favs!!!!!!!!! I think Charles Rowland and Nari Love would b besties bcuz pls❤️❤️❤️❤️ uhhhhhh in actuality I think there'd b alot of conflict there bcuz Charles would b trying to exude nice and polite energy and Love would Not Trust It she gets loud and shout and Charles would not react well methinks I don't think they'd start like physically fighting a. because Charles has a decent amount of restraint and b. because Love doesn't have any iron (shed try to punch him tho, love her) and eventually theyd figure it out and eventually I think they'd b making real bad jokes 2gether and talking about how weird (affectionate) their partners r

Harley is adopting Edwin as soon as he finds out about this boy and his languages, Edwin resigned himself to this fate w/ his even ancient Aramaic is easy w/ a bit of study line, Harley is explaining mandarin conjugation to him and Edwin will deal w/ it politely while having no idea what he's talking about bcuz this boy deals mostly in languages 4 magic and mandarin is not one of them!!!! (or maybe it is let Edwin and Harley b nerds 2gether 2k24)

Niko is #1 Kleinves shipper ik this in my heart she is getting 2 the bottom of whatever happened there and trying to make these ladies communicate!!!!!!! (She'd also b a harlanc shipper but this ain't about them) After she figures out that she can't force them 2 communicate she and Klein r watching anime/reading manga 2gether, Klein has been in the site 2 long!!!! She needs more to read and probably Nikos stuff isn't to her usual taste but she will read it

Poor girl Crystal is over here in the corner trying to make conversation w/ Raddagher and thoroughly failing, eventually they end up comparing experiences of being a surveillance officer (knowing everything about everyone) to being a psychic (knowing everything about everyone) they're akward but get along well enough

Lancaster and Charles would b friends :D Charles would like Lancasters ugly jorts and they would both b trying 2 b very smiley literally they're both trying to keep spirits up and pushing their own problems as far back as possible they're so similar and they're NOT calling eachother out on the hypocrisy (Lancaster is taking some time for himself and Charles is not a therapist he's just emotional support)

Edwin would find Raddagher endearing like he finds Niko endearing, but to a lesser extent, I think he'd like to chill out in the surveillance room (I think Crystal and Niko would like it too, at some point Love starts banning ppl 4 Raddagher cause it's getting too crowded 4 her) Raddagher might talk about sailing and Edwin might talk about sea monsters and they'd both nod and be like cool. and then move on

Crystal and Harley r swapping so many stories ik it Harley is like the stories guy Harley would tall about some weird bullshit that happened on site five years ago and Crystal would pull up a chair like tell me more until she has all the gossip, and then Crystal will complain to Harley about how annoying Charles and Edwin are and about the time she tried to go to hell and it didn't even work but hey she got her memories back atleast but like her memories suck and Harley would nod along while internally freaking tf out

Niko and Lancaster r teaming up, what r they teaming up 4? No one knows (Lancaster is telling Niko about Raddlove and Niko thinks they're very sweet) I think Lancaster and Niko as a team could b scary and chaotic and they deserve to be

Charles and Raddagher r not saying a word the entire time they interact Charles will try, Raddagher will react grumpy and then Charles will do his own stuff in her presence for like an hour before fucking off, they both think the other are okay (Raddagher's thought on Charles "He's fine", Charles' thought on Raddagher "she's aces") I feel like there's a mutual understanding of Don't mess w/ my ppl I don't mess w/ ur ppl while the groups interact

Charles and Harley r complaining 2gether, Charles complains about not being able to eat spaghetti while Harley understands this as The Worst Thing that can happen to a person and Harley complains about botany while Charles swears they're evil and tries to hold back a laugh

Edwin and Klein in eachothers presence would b a little bit unbearable❤️ I think Edwin would b interested in what research does and Klein would b interested in magic rocks and theyre badgering eachother 4 information at very high speeds

Lancaster and Edwin r having v deep emotional conversations about repressing who u r and how it hurts u in the long run and how they'd go thru everything bad in their life again as long as it brought them back to this point w/ these ppl, or Lancaster is trying to give that ghost red bull (who doesn't want to see a ghost on red bull? and tbh this ghost could use it)

Niko and Love would b so cool, I think Niko would LOVE Dumptruck (Edwin would find Dumptruck fascinating, Charles would b a bit put off by him, Crystal wouldn't care) and I think she'd help Love remember words when she's having a hard time

Niko and Raddagher would respectfully not interact that much, I don't think they'd dislike eachother theyre just both way too blunt to develop deep emotional connections I think

Charles and Klein keep accidentally stumbling into emotional conversations they don't MEAN to but one second theyre chatting shit about "kids these days" and talking about the 80s and the next Klein is talking about how her impulsiveness endangers ppl whenever she's put in charge and Charles is talking about how he's scared he's just like his dad and holy shit it's 1 am and one of them needs sleep

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

someone told me that polin pen shippers who hate Marina for existing are like that woman maggie on that Netlfix show baby reindeer talks and thinks exactly like her and I can’t unhear or unsee it now bc it’s so true it’s the way that woman acted towards the bipoc therapist that’s exactly how polin pen stans who hate Marina act towards M and same goes for Polin Edwina Pen Colin haters who are all Kate kanthony Simone Ben stans are basically the same they really just essentially that same 👩🏻 but all size woc instead which makes perfect sense!

This how they look and sound to me and i can prove it from their tiktok instas and twt accs but I’ll be the bad guy if I prove it every single one of them without fail they all look and sound exactly like this woman which is why I just feel so sorry for them so much pity for them like baby reindeer did for Martha that’s how I feel about every kanthony Kate SA EL ben stan who hates on Edwina Charithra Polin Luke Nicola and every polin Penelope stan who hates on Marina which is why I just delete all their stuff asks or hate towards me or mainly polin and Edwina bc this how you sound and look to me and I feel so sorry for you like I pity you so much!

even more if you hate on the actors of the show bc of your dislike to the characters they play that’s next level insanity which I just can’t deal with sorry I just can’t!

or I just block them bc the pity is so strong it started making me feel like I had this big ego which I don’t thankfully it was just one acc tho @antipolin sure it was bc their @ name was ugly and uncreative but not shocking considering that woman in the series is also very uncreative in her delusion 😂 shes #1 girly that sounded and for sure looks her but probably is bipoc that reminds me of Martha fyi go watch the show it’s good sad based on true story probably why i see so many of her in this fandom it’s crazy this first time ever

I could never take them seriously hating on actors for doing a job is straitjacket behaviour miserable losers!

[domokunrainbowkinz]

sorry for manhwa-posting guys it's not gonna stop

u kno wat I may as well give my thoughts on some of the ones I read:

semantic error - classic, everyone knows it, despite me being lukewarm about it it has some moments that made me go WAOUUGGHH.....nice, low-stakes fun read but if u hate miscommunication u r gonna have a bad time. the art is Very good though.

concubine walkthrough - EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS NOW!!!!! villainess transmigration story with chinese-style court politics, discussions about AI, VR, reality vs dream, and a plot twist at the end that makes you go AOUUGHGBGB!!!!! it made me ugly cry twice!!! READ IT NOW!!!!!!

lost in the cloud - currently ongoing, I stayed up till 7am reading this one. it starts off light and then hits u with The Trauma hammer and reveals its true colours (2 dudes dealing with The Horrors and being absolutely not normal about it). it deals with very heavy topics like bullying, SA, CSA, abusive parents, like these kids cannot catch a break. the characters are really well written and believable, their interactions are so raw and painful at times. I am obsessed. I need them to be happy or im going to cry. it really isn't for the faint of heart, I'm not one to be fazed by heavy topics in fiction but I felt so anxious during some chapters, like the way the scenes are depicted and drawn are so visceral. I also gotta say the art is BANGING.

dreaming of the dokkaebi (18+) - currently ongoing, VERY promising so far. I am a hoe for modern-day supernatural romance, especially when there's reincarnation shenanigans involved. there's a lot going on between the 2 leads and I love the incorporation of korean mythology and exorcism in the worldbuilding aouuggh...literally my cup of tea.

how to refuse the route - lighthearted low-stakes otome isekai where the protagonist is trying his absolute darnedest to NOT romance any of the characters (he is failing). It's pretty unserious fun, and I also love the ML in this one. pls give me more fucked up little guys. the story is starting to go in an interesting direction tho and I'm curious to see how it ends.

the guild member next door - very light unserious fun, basically what if ur online friend/crush that u met in a game is ur neighbour, but you never met irl so u don't know that?? it goes hard on the in-game mechanics and spends a lot of time building up the in-game friendship before starting to delve into the irl relationship. it's a slow burn and brother I am here for it.

netkama punch - this situation is something you'd read on aita reddit and think to yourself "there's something definitely wrong with both of you and I hope you don't involve anyone else in whatever the fuck is going on between you 2". it's so wacky and funny, definitely not one to take super seriously.

love in orbit (18+) - I originally read this bc there's a tall hot alien mommy in it, but the actual story is actually quite sweet. I also love the way the artist draws bodies in this one, for once the proportions don't make go "brother eughh". it's pretty light and low-stakes, but I was surprised by the discussions on loneliness and parental neglect/abuse that were a throughline in this series. the sex scenes are 🔥🔥

tears on a withered flower (18+) - still pretty early in serialization but I'm already so interested in where this is going homegirl needs to throw her entire husband out!!! an illustration of how an abusive relationship can wear a person down and eat away at them. seriously I hope she and her new man beat the shit out of her husband.

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

@megatraven

I was going to put this in your ask box bc I didn’t intend for it to be long….but it is and I have to put it as it’s own post lol.

So Do you remember the Hercules song fic of “Love Me I Beg” and breakdown for how it fits him? If not here it is again. When I made that post, I was thinking of doing a fic for Hercules and MC friendship and everything that I mentioned…but it’s not coming together properly. The only part I have done, which I thought would be nice to share, is a scene where MC and him are arguing about something he did or said. Like how he believes he himself is not as great as others bc he’s a demigod (even tho he doesn’t say it directly like that bc of pride and he has to be a Man and can’t be emotional) and MC will not stand for it. She may not like him very much, but she sees the person in him (though it’s difficult to) and she sees the insecurity and she hates how it contorts him and hurts him and others. His own feelings hurt others around him, whether he truly believes that or not or doesn’t even realize it.

They get into the argument of MC saying he shouldn’t hate on humans or monsters bc he sees them as different and ‘weak’, because he’s just been raised to see things that way and has this insecurity fueled by the others around him for millennia. He can change and be different and can alter his view and be better. But he keeps arguing on and on, and at some point I have the dialogue of MC getting fed up and pushed past her kindness saying,

“I don’t see a hero in you, all I see is a MONSTER!”

And then she leaves him with that slap in the face. Not physical…though I have considered it to happen to stand as a waking up call. But anyways it hits him hard mainly bc he’s all about taking auras and has taken monsters’ aura (and she knows about this. In this AU I see her being close friends with basically everyone so she knows the stories) but he understands she’s not talking about a monster, but a MONSTER MONSTER. An evil creature, and not a Hero he believes he is. At least, in my head Hercules sees himself as that because isn’t he Zeus’s hero? Like in literal terms like how Nyela was Aphrodite’s hero, isn’t Hercules Zeus’s hero? If not, then let’s pretend he is lol.

Anyways, it really hits him and makes him think of how he’s been raised. AND the other really hitting dialogue that makes him mad (but also really think™️ about things) is MC literally saying, “Your family has failed you,” bc she sees his opinions, learns more about the gods’ views from him, and begins to see the turmoil and problems he has and the harshness and ugliness of the gods and and see the awful ways he was raised and she can’t help but compare it to how her mother was so loving and accepting and encouraging and how his family SHOULD be like that and AGH. MC may not like him, but she wants to help. But she also is like “and I mean if you could give the auras back…” since she loves the monsters in my AU lol.

But, yeah, I just have these two pieces of dialogue (and a few others if you’d like to hear about them) and kinda ideas for them. That I need to write one day bc it’s one of the thoughts in my head constantly and I need to get it out😭.

And I also hope you enjoy your vacation Meg💙. You deserve it🥺💙💙💙💙.

And side note that’s not too important: Eros is the one MC vents to bc he’s a worm that hasn’t left my mind yet so rn he’s the romance for me. Those fics for him I mentioned I AM working on as well lmao.

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

I watched bojack in 2022 here are my thoughts on the show in honor of the s1 anniversary

BJ/Sarah lynn: Yeah i saw that coming a mile away it didnt gross me out like a lot of othersbut. it sure was weird cause every flashback he saw as what 8 years old? weird. i don't consider it nonconsenual as it felt s5 tried to imply, cause sarah lynn is a fully grown adult but man it was def weird / also through most of it bojack was a complete sucker/.. but man the woodyallenvibesbestrongheresigh

didn't like PB/Diane on rewatches how he goes about throwing a big party after knowing diane hates them when she says YES: Big Red Flag.

am i wrong for thinking that the show doesn't give enough agency to some of the women characters, cause Jessica Biel was just insane im not gonna pin it all on PB for why that relationship soured, katrina i got feel more for but ms cannibal justnahfam. and screw ana/angela too. him going to seek closure from his abuser will always be gross..

I was mad at bojack for 2 days after the penny episode. Bojack Chris hanson wants a word with you.

And yet I still want to hug him whenver I see his sad horsy face.

I didn't like the reporter stitx shrugs.. seeing bojack also get better only for it tocrash down was a bummer to watch..

its intersting how he treats his life as a sitcom tho even up till season 6 the many faces of depression/ escape to LA/ Prickly Muffin/Too much man.. boy tries so hard to life a sitcom life of course its gonna blow up in his face.

Notice how Todd however getts to mostly live a zany sitcom life?

Hank the hippo makes me eye more than just bill cobsy

sarah lynn/sobs at jenneate and all the abuse in hollywood in general glad the kids are doing sober tho.. as miley/lindsey /britney are doing well..

sharona never should have given bojack that spiked orange juice

watching bojack in his 30s/50s near angela im just, man this guy has ZERO backbone its sad

PB: gay for Bojack

Fav quotes: This penis has been inside this vagina

Everyone Deserves to be Loved

Made me cry ugly tears: Bojerb/ Bodiane

Hate: Beatrice horseman

fav: Bojack probably obvious.

fav episode: I think bojack hates the troops is pretty funny.

its cool how his flashbacks have a sitcom vibe to it.

I feel i try to border on not excusing bojack but understanding how itcan be so hard to be anything than what he became cause his parents gave zero love zero esteem and he was set up to fail at relationships. clearly he hatese himself bec too bad for him ne bascially became his parents alcholicsm, advantage of women, insulting hisson i mean friend Todd similar to how bea treated him.

I don't like the plot for sarah lynn death as i feel its take to much responbility off a adult women who had a wall full of drugs , found the heroin and took it of her own free will.. and prefer the ide of bojack being at fault for just being a enabler..

sarah lynn predicated it well that she would hang out with enablers and die young, speaking of enablers im annoyed at pc for inviting bojack to her buisness party and trying to get him back in the hollywood spotlight like why girl just why??

love todd/bojacks ending it was very sweet

i suppose thats all i have to say ... this is just a ramble of my scrambled brain thoughts of the show.. xd.

[jasontoddiefor]

I absolutely adore your Jiang Fengmian and Cangse Sanren just being friends posts so much because my personal theory is that they were great friends and people were weird about platonic-male female relationships and shitty about how a beautiful, renowned women married someone insignificant in their eyes. It’s so nice and refreshing and I’m tired of the whole he’s creepy and obsessed with a dead woman instead of his two best friend died and he’s trying to give their son a good life. Let the man be complex! Is he is a great parent? No, but he was arguably a better dad than attic wifer and lecher, a C level parent and someone who was kind to common folk and let their kids play with his disciples, that making him into this villain character that’s either super creepy and gross or apathetic and completely neglectful and letting Madam Yu do inhumane abuses in front of him without retort is so weird.

Sorry for the tangent, I just love you having a platonic friendship of two souls both a little bit in awe of each other’s worlds. Let him be a lowkey depressed man with his two best friends gone and dead and is now just trying his best to be a good Sect Leader and still failing at times. Let him have some complexity.

Anon you made my day with this ask.

Like, I think the "grieves the idealized version of someone he loved (romantically)" is fine, like, whatever, but it's also kinda basic?

And if they were genuine platonic friends only, it would also add to the narrative IMO? MDZS very much works on a "things left unsaid and left unacknowledged" kind of theme, and a friendship that isn't allowed to be seen as such would fit just right in. From what we see, JFM is a very mild man as well, so of course there'd be questions, misunderstandings and such messy ugly rumors.

And I think the fandom also just generally exaggerates JFM? Like while reading and watching either adaption, I mostly got a sense that this is a man who has resigned himself to living alongside his wife and mostly doesn't know how to parent any of his kids in a way that doesn't infuriate YZY so he decided that being more hands off in general is better. But not this mess of obsessive to neglectful?

Like, thos interpretations can be fun, love me a good dark fic, but that's just not what canon gives me?

But yeah!!! you're right!!! Let him be a lowkey depressed man with his two best friends gone and dead and is now just trying his best to be a good Sect Leader and still failing at times.

Also here take a snippet of friendship bc I couldn't find much on AO§:

Cangse Sanren knocks on his door until Jiang Fengmian drags himself out of bed. He doesn’t know it is her or he wouldn’t have answered the door in his sleeping robes. She doesn’t notice, of course she doesn’t, and Jiang Fengmian is relieved that nobody else is up this early.

If he didn’t know any better, he’d claim Cangse Sanren only got up early to spite Lan Qiren and his expectations of her, but she came with the habit.

“Fengmian, I need you to go shopping with me,” she declares boldly. He knows that her expectation is now, although most shops won’t open for another two hours most likely. She probably wants to go exploring the area early – and ditch the disciples accompanying him, except maybe Wei Changze. She behaves even stranger around him and Jiang Fengmian is glad to have finally found something to tease Wei Changze about.

“And why do I need to go with you?”

“I need someone to tell me when the sellers are ripping me off!”

He knows that she has gotten a much better understanding of average prices now, and doesn’t have the heart to tell her that he knows as little about the prices of average street food stalls as her. Sect heirs, generally speaking, do not go shopping in the places Cangse Sanren finds her most favorite trinkets.

Still, she grins at him and Jiang Fengmian finds himself smiling back. He kicks her out of his room to get dressed, for his sense of propriety more than hers. Cangse Sanren has a rather tolerant view on partial nudity, even to a Yunmeng native. He considers waking another disciple to tell them that it is not last night’s curse that made him disappear, but settles on writing a quick note instead.

“Where are we going?” he asks Cangse Sanren the moment they’re out of the door.

She grins again, tellingly, and takes him by the hand to drag him into a street of craftsmen he’d have never seen without her. She hardly shuts up, praising every piece of art, the food, and Jiang Fengmian whenever he points out a piece of jewelry that would be particularly unpractical for nighthunting. Most of them look like gifts one of Jin Guangshan’s terrible cousins had tried to give her.

He thinks it’s the closest he’ll get to having a sister, but he’ll keep that thought quiet, least of all it betrays something else.