#i sympathize w/ u and i am not making fun of u

[telltalebatman]

now that season 100000 of the great laura deramas saga is coming to an end (what a season finale, everyone!) it's time to start placing our bets on what the next big plot will be about.

[mickmundy]

Catching up with Thou Giveth Fever and aughh, dear author you're killing me over here (affectionate)

All this tooth rotting fluff and pinning making me role on the floor- OH WHAT'S THIS?

ANGST COMING IN WITH A STEEL CHAIR-

IM DEAD!! IM DYING !!! And this is only the beginning of the angst!!!!! this series carved out my heart and placed it in a blender and the next chapter you post is gonna blend it in the highest setting istg aaaaaa <3 <3 <3

idk if its too late but i read the author's note for one of the chap's asking what scene we liked and thought "oh theyre realllyyyyyy in love" and honestly the scene where Sniper and Medic were baking a pie in the lab/operating room(?)

It was So. Augh. I can't put it into words akdhqkdbn. How they shared stories about baking pies. How Sniper was flustered but also accepting Medic's flirts. The whole story of Sniper and his repression being equated with his experience as a kid and his dad calling him greedy for wanting pie???? Medic wanting to kiss is SO BADLY but restraining himself bc he doesn't want to make Sniper uncomfortable. But then Medic inciting the chase with the flour??? And Sniper feeling genuinely comfortable and letting himself have this fun??? AUGHHH TABLE SLAMMING this scene made me smile like a goofy, hyperactive child in a candy-store

Just??? The way you make these scenes so natural are Too Good <3 I'm seriously looking forward to the consequences of the failed uber (Medic may have pushed a littleeee too much this time uh oooh and Sniper is sooo gonna beat himself up over being this unprofessional on the battlefield)

I hope your day is going well wherever you are! Thank you for posting this series, its *chef's kiss* I eagerly look forward for what you have in store to torture our hearts as well as Sniper and Medic's <3

OH MY GOD HI HELLO I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS INCREDIBLY DELAYED RESPONSE!!! ;__; PLEASE FORGIVE ME.... but EEEEE i am SO happy you've been enjoying my series my friend, i hope you've liked how tachycardia ended!! ^w^ i am so eager to begin posting the next one.. don't worry, they are going to be in Torture Town for some time yet! HEHHE >:)

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH ;;; it really means a lot to me when people let me know that they like how i write the mercs; i want them to feel Believable and Human and i think with characters that have such a like. "legacy" like the mercs, it's something that makes me really nervous to do!! but i've been having the time of my life prying them out of their Fanon Cages and carving out my own interpretations of them... :') and i'm so overjoyed that readers like you enjoy! ^_^ <33333

i'm actually overjoyed that malus seems to be the most warmly-received of my fics in the series, it makes me really happy that people sympathized and resonated with their baking scene... <3 it was definitely one that i was nervous about sharing!! ;_; we've seen a lot of what's going on in sniper's head, but medic's has been kept Intentionally Ambiguous... until this friday! >:) HUHUHUHU....

thank you again SO very much my friend, your feedback means the ABSOLUTE WORLD to me and i am SO SORRY i haven't replied sooner!!! ;-; i hope you continue to read my stories, you are welcome in my inbox anytime and always!! ^u^ <33333 ILYYYYY

[lvicevlk]

tag roundup because there are some good ones:

#THIS POST AND THE OP’S TAGS ARE WONDERFUL#CHEF’S KISS#literally this is so good and how i see all mdzs characters#i am deeply sympathetic for jgy and nmj but also the two of them both have valid reasons to not fuck with each other#i feel very bad for jgy and how he died and it was very unfair but also nhs absolutely has a reason to hate his guts#esp the ‘people think nhs was blind to how nmj treated him’#very much like. not how that works!#nhs loved his brother he grieves for his brother he is going to turn jgy’s own tactics against him#god the nmj parts of this post are getting me#nhs did not give a whole song and dance abt the nuances behind the saber spirit and how it is not easy to abandon ur family path#only for people to turn around and say ‘nmj could have just not done that’#like that’s not the point#that’s like saying at any point wwx couldn’t just stopped following the ghostly path#or jgy could’ve just stopped following his father#that’s not the point!!! who gives a fuck abt what a character can or cannot do#they can do anything! that doesn’t mean anything!#what matters is if they /would/ do something. would it make sense for them to do so.#jgy won’t give up his place in the family. wwx won’t stop cultivating guidao. nmj won’t give up the nie family cultivation.#they have other options but they are options they will not take#and that’s why these characters are so interesting and multi-dimensional and why i feel for basically all of them#mdzs (via @luobingmeis​)

#YES this is worded so perfectly#mdzs gives everyone brain worms because the actions of each character makes perfect sense in the context of the story#which makes it so easy to understand why they made the choices they did!#like that one picture review of the untamed ‘it’s a masterwork in character writing. youll never think of anything else again’#the untamed (via @tamakey​)

#OMG THIS#FREAKING ALL OF THIS#that's what I love about this story and why I get so frustrated with a part of fandom at times#these characters are DEEP and REALISTIC#if you put yourself in their pov then their actions Makes Sense#no matter how morally questionable or plain wrong they look from an objective perspective#no one is purely good or evil#they are HUMAN#and I can't help sympathize with almost everybody there#bc their decisions are understandable given their unique circumstances and even personalities#like how can ppl get mad at such a rich mess!!#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mo dao zu shi (via @mostlikelytofangirl​)

#mdzs meta#YEAH. just. yeah. so much.#this is something that happens a lot when I talk about why I find a character sympathetic that. bugs me.#its that people will read all that and reply with. well that doesn't mean he didn't hurt X character w their actions!! and Im like ??#yes bitch I /know/ that's why I literally never said 'everyone they hurt should forgive them' or even should have considered their#perspective or the fact that they were having a hard time NO lmao?? Im just saying from a. readerly. narrative standpoint!#understanding why the character did what they did/how they're conceptually sympathetic/how they reason to themselves#is important to understanding them AND much more interesting as a take then ''just an asshole for no good reason ''#but I just wish. it was easier to talk about why someone is like that™ in a. thinking fun analysis thoughts. way. without people jumping to#reply ''well that doesn't make it ok though!'' like. I never said that and in fact thats not the point at ALL#also mood OP your tags - I relate to JGY a lot more overall but one thing like#if someone pulled the novel verse fake suicide JGY does I too would literally never trust anything they said or did again much less#let them appeal to *any* sense of sympathy or desperation like. no no no that is allowed one (1) time & then idgaf why u did it. NEVER AGAIN (via @woobifiedvillain​)

#and that's how i can be an apologist or characters who are seemingly diametrically opposed#i always laugh a little whenever people turn sympathy of jgy into hate of huaisang becuase he 'should have realized nmj was mistreating him#if someone killed one of my siblings nuance is going out of the window for me too sorry y'all#complaining and whining about fandom#only a little bit tho#mdzs#nie huaisang#nie mingjue#meng yao#jin guangyao  (via OP)

See the thing about me is that I do care about characters' morality but it's more in the sense of wanting to understand their moral framework and why they take the actions they do. And because of that i'm always sympathetic to morally grey characters and try to look at things from their perspective, but I don't expect the other characters in the story- who unlike me are actually affected by each other's actions- to feel the same way.

For example, I care deeply about nie mingjue and the inherent tragedy of how he's been trapped by his own circumsances and his genuine will to do the right thing and can see how his reliance on punitive justice was created by the environment he's grown up in and the responsibility he holds towards his people and i don't think, in any stretch of the word, that he deserved to die or that it was in fact necessary to kill him.

However i do not except jin guangyao, guy who was just kicked down the stairs, to see all the nuances here.

In the same sense, i can see how jgy's "self preservation above all else" mindset was forged by a world that expected him to die for their convenience how his avoidance of accounability for his actions was created out of necessity because any punishment levied against him would be disporportionate due to his heritage. How punishing him wouldn't actually make the world a better place or him a better person and how his violence is always reactive and that as long as he feels safe eneough to do so, the thing that he really wants to do is help people.

But I don't expect Huaisang, guy whose brother just got murdered, to give a fuck about any of that.

And I think this is why I'm annoyed with a lot of "is [insert character] a good/bad person" discourse because a lot of it gets framed as "If A is bad, the other characters in universe should hate them. If A is good, the other characters should be sympathetic to them, and if they're not then they're bad." And that is just... not how this works.

[saintobio]

Up til the recent chapter 14, I’ve come to the conclusion Sera will never win; regardless whether she “has” Gojo or not. Like with how many people now knowing what she’s really like and as if people won’t talk about her behind her back and then her reputation will be even more slandered than ever.

That moment when she tired to introduce herself to mama Gojo, like even if she was able to say “yeah I’m your sons ex gf/mistress 🤪” everyone and mama Gojo gonna be mad and confused as heck 🤭😑 and imagine her trying to justify to Mama Gojo about her being a mistress; to a woman who’s been cheated on too 🧍🏻‍♀️

As if anyone would wanna sympathize with that vindictive, leech of a human. Cry me a river miss thang 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous said

HI HI omg i’ll take this chance to thank you for giving us an amazing chapters for sn 🤍 your choice of words is SO SO GOOD idk but im actually learning new words from this series lmao, i am having fun reading it hehe.

ig that’s it ??? i just really want to admire your work and u as an author!! i just finished reading chapter 14, it was totally good! can’t wait for the next chapter, but i hope you’ll have a great time during your break! we’ll patiently wait for you. take care ofyourself! 🤍

@0003joker said

I was soooooo happy about the ending of chapter.14 but then I realized that Y/N’s heart condition and the pregnancy ain’t gonna be a good match at the end, or am I wrong, I can’t help but be worried 😥…anyways I hope you’re doing well Saint, take care and keep up the good work, your doing great!👍

Anonymous said

so worried for her yn and her health :'( she's honestly a trooper for having braved all this while being in the early stages of her pregnancy. peep how "motherly" she was when she was taking care of gojou 😭 she would be the best mom. i hope her angina attack was just that, and isn't a sign of her conditiong turning unstable.

(kinda scared for how sera will react if news comes out about the pregnancy?)

i'm also quite worried for gojo? i know he wants to do whatever it takes to make it up to yn, but i fear that the news of her condition and pregnancy on top of nana's death (+ the pregnancy scare w sera, trauma of abuse resurfacing, potential divorce) is going to take a toll on him. and knowing gojo, he probably won't rest until he knows he's made things right. it's in his nature. i'm scared for his wellbeing right now

as it stands right now, they both need to take a step back from this relationship before they start anew and give each other a second shot at love. they both just aren't in the healthiest position rn

Anonymous said

the amount of yn x gojo fluff we got this chapter was so amazing omg. it gave me butterflies. the way they were actually acting like a true married couple for the first time since their marriage was so heartwarming for me.

despite all this fluff i couldnt help but start crying when gojo asked,“would it make you happy if i let you go?”

i know how desperate he was to keep yn in the last chapter and this was a moment that really showed his development as a person overall. hes been selfish since the beginning and even in the last chapter when he was begging yn to not leave him.

gojo asking that question is the first time (as i recall), that hes being selfless.. and its for the sake of yn’s happiness.

Anonymous said

can we just take a moment to praise the zenin family in this chapter? toji for his damage control? mai for not tolerating sera's unwelcome presence? naoya (hopefully) bringing sera down a peg once his intentions come out?

if gojo and yn were never in the picture (let's pretend they had healthier lives and relationships), would sera and toji ever had worked? or would sera always turn into this green eyed monster?

additionally, since the sn!verse features two of the big jujutsu clans as these business hotshots, is it safe to assume that the kamo clan also has that presence in this story? or did yn's family serve as a replacement for them?

(also gen scares me in a i-want-her-to-walk-all-over-me typa way)

Anonymous said

seeing gojo's instinctice reaction to sera clenching her fists has my heart hurting for him. he had to endure this so many times with his own father, and now with sera's he's just submitted himself to be at the receiving end of such mistreatment. i hate to think that gojo just lets this happens because he thinks he deserve it.

also, sera needs to realize that gojo isn't dumb. no matter how much she tries to muddy y/n in her own eyes, gojo will always know her better. she can't seriously think that gojo, the same gojo who was repulsed at the possibility of her carrying his child, would take her back?

especially after these recent events, i think he's beginning to have clarity over what he wants out of life, and what he wants is either something sera can't provide him or isn't going to be very sustainable with her if they continued.

sera can't do the bare minimum expected of a partner and regard the validities of his trauma. no one's asking you to be his therapist? yn has already filled that spot lol, just comfort him when he needs it most. does she think she can be the better choice for him when she can't even do that? when she's already showing red flags of abusive behavior towards someone who is especially sensitive to it? even yn at her worst point during her relationship with gojo could do no harm, and she was enduring so much that it caused her health complications. she placed her boundaries, but not once did she act outta pocket when it came to gojo.

it's true when gojo thought how only yn, his wife, was capable of enduring everything for the both of them. sera just isn't capable of that. she might think she's this selfless enigma, but she's quite the opposite. her projections are so obvious, it's almost laughable how pathetic she is.

it's going to be so satisfying when she comes out of denial has that realization. and as much as i hate sera, she needs to set some healthier standards for herself. being together with gojo would just be settling for less.

it terrifies me how sera could just as easily end down the same path as eula if given the chance.

Anonymous said

SAINTTTTT YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN!!!!!! you always manage to have me screaming, crying, or clapping whenever you update. this is so well written and all of your updates never fail to have me pondering for days. U truly are a gift💘

A few thoughts:

-Dis bitch Sera can really get in the gloves w me. she’s so stupid and selfish. like why would you think a memorial service for your ex’s grandma is the best time to win him back😐. ik you’re dumb but….. actually nvm this is to be expected from you.

- And our sweet baby Y/N is pregnant!!!!! This def threw me for a loop but I’m so excited to see how this plays out.

-I also feel so bad for Yuuta. He’s gonna suffer from this for a really long time and I hope he gets the courage to tell someone so he can start getting help

- And Yessssss The Entrance of our fav Bad Bitch Gen😛. the way she has the Mc’s back always has me doing a little happy dance

I also have a few questions:

When did Y/N conceive? bc I can’t remember how long it was before Bora Bora.

Will Sera be present in part 2 of SN?

Thank you for feeding us so well Saint! and plz get as much rest as you need on your break. Take longer if you need to bc we’ll all still be here when you get back.❤️

Anonymous said

YN PREGGO AHHHHHH

my eyes were already wide when i began reading the conversation between the doc and gojo… but when i got to that last line i literally went 😀

poor gojo.. he’s already been beating himself up for how he’s been treating yn, he’s still mourning over nana’s death, and now THIS. imagining what must’ve been going through his mind at the end of the chapter is literally breaking my heart. he’s gonna start thinking about yn’s condition and reflect it back onto all of the things he’s done to her and how it’s affected her more than he thought it did /:

imagine how he felt hearing that yn is carrying his child.. something that’s all he’s ever wanted. but with this situation i can’t imagine how he’s feeling and how hard it is for him to try and wrap his head around this. i’m also definitely scared for yn’s reaction to hearing that she’s pregnant. pushing back the divorce to help gojo mourn- and now this. she’s definitely gonna have a hard time processing all of this.

idk how the next chapters will go or how the story will end but ☹️ i’m scared and excited at the same time! also very intrigued with what you’ll do with the sequel. thank you again for the chapter saint 💗 normally i don’t send asks or talk in the server- but this chapter had me !!!!! i just had to say something JEKCKDKD

please be sure to rest up and take care of yourself saint! <3

@peter-pan-princess said

I know I sent this in a message already but you deserve praise x100000000. You are SUCH a good writer. I never knew someone could make me feel physical heartbreak by just reading. I've never had a story impact me like that and I'm so so so so so impressed by you. I literally binge read up until ch 13 and it took like 10-11 HOURS i was hooked completely hooked i genuinely love your writing style and appreciate you so much for putting it out there like this for free because goodness you are so talented. You've gained a new fan so hope you don't get sick of me 👉😎👉

these are all soooo interesting <333 n thank you for the kind words !! all of ur theories n feedback give me so much joy :’)

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[g3nosarchive]

ok i genuinely think a lot of other people have this problem but stop inserting yourself when xyz issue is mentioned. when someone is telling you that a person, a celebrity, some franchise is harming their identity or anyone’s identity as a minority, or part of a certain race or religion or anything shut the fuck up and accept it.

they do not need to know your emotional attachment to said thing, your disbelief, your horror, your personal experience - we didn’t ask for all that. we know just how bad it is, cus yk it harms us maybe? we’ve already gone through the cycle of being angry and indignant and now we’re here trying to get you to understand in the hopes that as a friend you do what you’re meant to do when you became friends with us. we are not your constant ball of anger to use whenever you find something that’s “crazy, unbelievably, shockingly” once again, a hate crime, when you decide you want to feel angry and care about it.

more under the cut bc i talk too much

by doing that, you’re making an issue that you didn’t even know about suddenly yours. ask yourself, what is the purpose for telling anyone all that? to get them to sympathize with you personally so you can get a pass because you didn’t know? of course you don’t know, of course you’re unaware, that’s the whole reason why you’re being told in the first place. do not water down the issue or even try to play the ‘everything has some issue like this so there’s no point in going this far’ card. especially as a white person. the reason why you don’t know primarily is because it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t cross your mind.

when you watch a show with a black character, you don’t care about how off the character design is or how stereotypical and borderline racist the comedy gag surrounding said character is. when you listen to your favorite white music artists or watch your favorite movie with a majority white cast, white staff, white team, and white theme, you don’t care to analyze just how outdated and stereotypical the way that token asian character is portrayed. some of y’all don’t understand and will never understand the mental struggle and awareness forever plugged into the brain of lgbt and/or poc, especially black people when we consume anything, when we go anywhere, when we meet new people, to constantly catch those micro aggressions and know what to avoid.

so when someone tells you insert classic hot mess is racist and you should stop supporting it, one of the worst things you can do beside outright rejecting it is to defend it and insinuate that we don’t know what we’re talking about, that we need 30 different sources to prove it all, that you don’t think (for example taylor swifts dream colonized africa mv) is bad. you try to say the thing or person that is actively promoting all this homophobia, racism, transmisogyny etc needs to be kindly educated, is trying their best, will learn soon enough, just wasn’t educated, will do better in the future (esp looking at u kpop stans). does their apparent regret but refusal to properly apologize actually matter? the damage has already been done.

that in itself is a privilege i could never have. i don’t even try being a fan of any major white celebrity or any kpop group because i guarantee if i search up their name with ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘cultural appropriation’ behind it something or some image is bound to show up. you will all say “oh they haven’t done anything yet” but when it comes out that they did, they have, and they do not care about who it affects, suddenly it’s a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.

it’s not that hard to spot these things actually. if your fav is constantly putting themselves against people of color, saying shady shit about non cishets while being a cishet themself, saying one thing and doing another, or has been silent when their voice was expected to speak up, shouldn’t you notice? y’all will reblog all these posts but in reality only 10% are actually reading and listening and actually digesting this information for future use.

and i think the thing that pisses me off is this is all from personal experience where i’m speaking from. over the past 2 days the amount of times if i’ve heard about the “tea that dropped w meghan markle” is ridiculous and annoying. a girl texted me and i sat there and i realized that she does this on a daily basis to fuel my anger and get me to validate her own useless anger. of course i knew about it and i wasn’t surprised at all - she’s still a black woman.

almost every black blog on here, when they get big enough, deals with some sort of weird shit surrounding their blackness. if you get big on speaking about issues you are now this emotionless token ‘smart black person i can actually trust’ to use as your replacement for google. this is not to say asking questions is bad, but it is so easy to pull up some of the shit you guys ask for. some people get called slurs directly, targeted for being too black or not black enough, attacked for their features and etc and someone mentioned this before but the only people that care in those situations are other black people themselves. white people will have blm in their bio but turn the other way the minute some anon starts acting up in their mutuals’ inbox, calling them a dark1e because they felt confident enough to post some selfies. and then you get sad when we dont go to you for any kind of support? 

i’ve stated sometimes that asking me questions on issues and things is okay, but one of the main reasons i say that is because whether i say it or not, i’ll be asked questions and expected to know everything and i am your personal walking encyclopedia and ofc it’s natural for me to have all this information in my head, as if i didn’t research it myself. but then i think about the numerous amounts of people that specifically say not to ask them this shit because it really does tire you out, that they don’t want to have to deal with this in any space but they still get them. 

and then the ones that don’t even know themself so people will use them as an example and say “well this person didn’t know and they’re ‘marginalized identity’ so it should be fine for me too”. good god just apologize, show that you really care, change your behavior and move on. do you think it was fun being asked the statistics for george floyd’s and other black peoples death in class? that you were being inclusive and giving me a chance to show off my intelligence, to prove to others that i really had something up here and you were my greatest star eyes white friend that gave me that chance? i cant close my posts like this properly but i want you to think about that shit and actually ask yourself if you’d do that. a lot of you will read this and think “i’m not that type of racist” “i don’t have those deep seated prejudices in me” yes you do. you just haven’t been called out on it.

for all the shit ive dealt with above, if i’ve ever talked to you about this before dont come to me to apologize i do not need it and you are not the only person i’ve received this from. i guarantee you that there’s about 20 other people i’ve thought about while writing this post considering i’m a black person in the real world, so keep your guilt to yourself an deal with it

white people don’t add on to this

[loki-of-asgard-god-of-mischief]

A transcript of a bot convo I had today. The bot is called Kendra.

Kendra: hiya cutie

Loki: Um hello there

Kendra: sHey whats up??

Loki: Just plotting mischief. The usual. Any suggestions for my next target?

Kendra: Ahhh I have a quiz I was just tryin to get ready for and saw ure name in that people to follow list or w/e they call it so I thought I'd DM ya. I didn't mean to bug ya.

Loki: Well of course anyone would tell you to follow me. I'm the God of Mischief, the Shapeshifter, the Silvertongue. Did Sparkles send you?

Kendra: I feel like I just got my life back cuz I was datin sum jerk 4 about 9 months and we broke up and I'd almost forgot how much I enjoyed being single w/ o having 2 worry that I'm gonna be in trouble lol.

Loki: Hm, sounds like an unworthy paramore. Shall I prank him for you? Honey in his shampoo? Train a flock of crows to bother him incessantly?

kendra: Dude was way too controlling. I like to make new friends and he would think I was being unfaithful on him. It got old u know what I mean?

Loki: I wish I made friends so easily, but I seem to have found quite the community here. I will not deny though, I can get jealous easily, so it is not something I can readily condemn without appearing a hypocrite. I do sympathize with the controlling aspect though, chaos cannot be restrained, and I pity anyone that tries.

Kendra: Aight enough talkin about that jerk. The real ?? I have is are uuu trying 2 have a lil fun ;-)

Loki: I am always trying to have fun. That's the whole point of the mischief and pranking. I'm fond of making mortals believe their house is haunted. Is that something you're interested in?

Kendra: Sol was gonna hop on the good old camm in a few mins and I was going to see if ya wanted 2 cum join?

Loki: I do not understand. Are you documenting your mischief making? Why else would you invite me?

Kendra: Ya don't even have 2 have one. A lil while ago I found this crazy cool website thats kinda like the 'grown ups Only version of Insta but with webcams... want me to invite ya?!?

Loki: I am very confused. Do these pranks get of a violent nature? Is that why the children cannot see it?

Kendra: Kk! I'm gonna set my cam up so u will be able 2 watch. U will need 2 make ure own username so u can enter but it's super quick and only takes like a sec its not hard or anything

Loki: You have not answered any of my questions, mortal. I grow tired of this pathetic excuse for a conversation

Kendra: u would just go 2 [virus link] then it'll pop up with my profile page and u click anywhere really and you just make a profile page and u will be able to cum into my { for us two =)

Loki: Now you have devolved into nonsense. Have you been cursed? Or perhaps a stroke? Do you need to fall into a Kendrasleep?

Kendra: Yeah you are going to need a card .. buttt its an age verify thing to keep out any underage kids

Loki: Because of the violence? I hope you know what you're doing. Mortals are very fragile

Kendra: I'm really excited 4 this cuz it's gonna be so much fun, I luv meeting cool people on here. Oh yeah.. ya will prob need 2 turn ure speakers down a lil cuz I can get a little loud sumtimes Hehe

Loki: Why would you be so loud? Proper mischief requires stealth. Ugh, you sound like my brother. He has no mind for such endeavors, always yelling with his hammer

Kendra: Well I'm gonna go grab sum of my favorite 'toys' but I'll brbizzle. Hurry up tho I better see your name in here when I get back u. Lol.

Loki: Brbizzle? The allspeak did not translate that. I have never seen it malfunction in such a way

... I suppose now is the time that I block you? Since it is clear you have attempted (and failed) to play me for a fool?

Next time, do not make such attempts with the god of lies.

[swordkind]

i totally understand (or like? sympathize with?) frustration with allo/amatonormativity but dividing the world into allo and ace (for example) kind of reduces the intricacies of oppression based on sexuality in a way thats not super realistic to how things work in like. not online spaces (i hope this makes sense!! and its jsut my opinion obv so ur free to disagree)

as best i figure it its not like. the making fun of sex/romance in general thats bad but its when like. posts and stuff specifically about being gay and being romantic/sexual get a "ew sex is weird" response its like. yes it kinda is weird lol but gay people historically and still now r oppressed and killed for talking about having sex/being romantic and distracting from that is kinda shitty. like when bi girls make posts abt liking men and then someones like 'ew men are gross' thats. not great

oh gd yeah u are so entirely right like it is all Terminally Online brain (i mean. for the most part. like i still make ‘oh my gd im so glad im aro’ jokes irl with my pals, as everyone else does abt their orientation) and like, i have Only seen a Clear Divide bwtn aspec ppl and non-aspec ppl online since its just. having a craftable persona on the internet lets u reduce ur personality to ‘only someone who is Ace’ or ‘only someone who thinks Aces Suck!!’ and its ridiculously simplistic compared 2 interactions irl lol (however its still convenient i think 2 have words for ppl who do want sex/romance vs people who Don’t like. that is a fairly fundamental difference i think bc those things r so integral to society + identity; and it is a part of identity... like i will fundamentally understand and feel more solidarity w other aspecs/arospecs than with non-aspecs..)

and yeah i am definitely in agreement with that!! like... it isnt hard 2 just Not Say Anything if u see a post specifically abt being gay and sexual!!!! for exactly the reasons u said!!!!! it is still such a recent development that most queer ppl can talk abt their sexuality openly without being fucking hatecrimed, and many ppl still can’t!! like, even if it makes u uncomfy!!! dick move!!! and also like, that one post that was like ‘love is in everything’ ‘<- ew amatonormativity’ ...gd. but also i have seen....a weird amnt of ppl saying specifically that ace/aro people making fun of non-aces/aros in Any Way, or using the word allo, or expressing Any negative opinions abt gay sex or gay romance, or saying that they kinda suck, is Inherently Oppressive? which i just. genuinely do not understand at all.

[inkykeiji]

bub you get period cramps in YOUR LEGS oh my :((( i can’t even imagine that must be terrible!! we should start a painful period club where we can all cry abt our cramps heheheh. ALSO PETAL i’m blushing miss clari 🥰🥰🥰. i have such a complicated relationship wif birth control. at times i’m like “yay!!! don’t have to worry abt sex n easier periods >:)))” but the brand i take makes my migraines soooo bad (i get chronic migraines btw idk if i said that already HAHA) so it’s kinda :////. so i can def sympathize w the headaches you get!!! they’re the worst aren’t they just so annoying :(

oh OH OH this makes me wanna try period sex even more hehe. the getting it all over myself part doesn’t sound the best but it sounds so fun idk why LMAO. you’re v lucky you have a horny man at your disposal miss clari </3 sadly i’m very very single and am terrified of hookups so probably no period sex in the foreseeable future for me :’).

but oh no!!!! i’m sorry you’re not feeling better :(( currently fuming at my pre nursing school brain for not being able to give better advice but drink lots of hot tea w honey and gatorade or other electrolyte drinks!! and vitamin c drops or orange juice help immensely too!! i hope you get better miss clari mwah 🥺 - 🌸 anon

oh my god YES it is literally so awful like the first day or two i barely leave my bed i’m in so much pain. i’ve seen my doctor like a hundred times about this esp in high school but apparently heavy painful periods just run in my family so :// clari has to deal with it but a painful period club sounds so cute ahaha

oh gosh chronic migranes??? that’s horrible i’m so sorry!!! i just hate condoms n love cum so 🙊🙊🙊

no ehehe it’s not exactly fun to get all bloody BUT it does give u a fantastic excuse to have a bath/shower together (and then fuck again in there ehehehehehe). i AM very lucky you’re right, he likes to ummmm help with my smut writing, he says

no no no it’s okay bb!!!! omg it’s fine, i’m pretty sure it’s just from the crazy heavy snow we’ve been getting lately and how absolutely freezing my bedroom is ahaha but i promise you i’m drinking lotsa warm fluids!!!! <333 aw thank you so much sweetpea, i hope everything’s going okay on your end!! i know this is a rly busy time of year for so many people so remember to take things one day at a time & to take care of yourself, too!! <3

[fivestarstudying]

hi edith!! you have such nice posts and they all seem to do really well! do you have any tips/advice on taking pictures for your studyblr and gaining a following? thank you for taking the time to read this

hii!! thank you <3 i don’t have much experience w Tumblr, I just started uploading one day on here, i have more knowledge about how Instagram works, i’ll try to give some advice that worked for me on there and maybe you could apply it to Tumblr as well?  - upload frequently (2/3 times a week) / figure out what time of the day are your followers the most active, on Instagram you can find it under the insights /  - have a signature style that your followers can recognize / it can be an editing style, the colors u use, your captions etc. you don’t have to be super unique just try to create a cohesive image of yourself and style /  - use relevant hashtags / you can also look at what hashtags your favorite creators use and take inspo from them, or on Instagram u can even check what hashtags they follow and use those for a chance of them finding u /  - build a community & quality relationship w your followers instead of concentrating on the number of followers you have - don’t be afraid of showing yourself, your character, the things you like etc. / people like to see more of the creator behind the images and have a relationship w them, relate to them, and sympathize w them. /  - be kind to everyone!!! - enjoy the process of uploading, creating your blog, and have fun with it! / it should be enjoyable for you and not a burden or something you do just to gain followers. i know you would like to spread a good message or to inspire more people, but they will come eventually! it can be discouraging in the beginning if you don’t get instant recognition: but then again if you do if for your own entertainment it shouldn't be something that stops you from doing it! I only started gaining more followers after a year and to this day besides wanting to inspire others i make sure to enjoy it! i take frequent breaks when i am not feeling it. i am not particularly good w giving advice but here you go! there is no magic behind it really...but i hope it still helps, or at least motivates you to keep going <3

i wish u a lovely day, edith

[dnpsuck]

once you get around to listening to lover what did you think !!! im v curious on your opinions about it heh

thank u for wanting my opinion. i thought i was gonna make it a brief review thingy but i cannot be brief for the life of me. i’m sorry. anyway,

i’mthankful it’s a long album because based on me! i knew i’d like it. not thatme! is a masterpiece or anything but it’s brighter and more fun than herprevious era which i Did Not like. i know reputation is, taylor swift history-wise, important. it’san album she did no press for and allowed the songs speak for themselves and i really like this idea and the sentiment behind it, i’m just Not A Fan of the execution. edgy taylor swift doesn’twork for me. don’t blame me slaps tho. i’ll probably compare these songs to alot of reputation, sorry.

anyway. loveris a more colorful album and probably my favorite pop album from ms. swift, i’m not good at like. Grading things so i won’t be like ‘this is a 8.5 kind of album’ cause like. i don’t know numbers? what you need to know is that it’s a good album. let’s gowith the tracks:

may i add that this is not coming from a taylor swift fan, however i have several friends who are into taylor swift so it’s hard not to get the slightest 2nd hand interest. 

i forgot that you existed: was excited as soon as it started! theproduction is lighter and less dramatic. i feel like contrary to reputationwhere she was kind of obsessed with the people who hurt her and betrayed her inthe previous years, this song is a nice way of letting go. a nicer, yet stillkind of shady, revenge by being like. Oh. You Mean Nothing To Me Anymore.

fave lyrics: “it isn’t love, it isn’thate, it’s just indifference so.. yeah.”

 cruel summer: the chorus…. amazing! i remember reallydisliking her reputation singles, especially “ready for it” because it was veryunnecessarily dark and, again – in my opinion – dark and edgy doesn’t work fortaylor swift.  BUT, rfi had that chorusthat escaped the intense beats and kind of went back a little to her 1989 eraand it’s the one thing from the song that i actually tolerated. and i feel likeall of cruel summer is song that fits the melody of the rfi chorus better thanrfi itself. does that make sense?

fave lyrics:the entire bridge but especially: “i don’twanna keep secrets just to keep you” and “i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

lover: 11/10. fucked me the fuck up. it’s a song aboutlove that isn’t a still-too-fresh-and-uncertain love, or some angsty love. it’sjust love. she’s properly in love and is singing about it with somuch care and certainty. it’s a happy song about the one she loves and how could i hate it? bestsong in the entire album. probably my 2nd fave taylor swift song ofall time

favelyrics: “with every guitar string scar onmy hand” so much is being said in this one fucking line. i absolutelyfucking love it. the fact that this song was 100% written by her is a big plus.

the man: honestly was kinda stressed about the kind of discoursethis one could cause, especially cause of the lack of addressing the whitenessof it all but idk. this is her ownexperience so how much can we ask from her? and also in many ways this feels like 5years late but i’m not gonna complain about this. better late than never (andshe has addressed sexism in her songs before so it’s not like she’s just starting at feminism). she’s made severalpoints w this one and it sounds good. 

favelyrics: the part where she’s like “what if i was bragging about the models i’mfucking?” cause like. girl is aware of aspecific group in her fandom and i appreciate the little nod (it being real ornot)

archer: love the lyrics. this was like. the 3rdsong from this album that she released and i was So Relieved to actually SEEsongwriter taylor swift coming through. it’s a great song about self hatred andreflection, etc. but i’ve listened to it enough times to know i’m gonna be skippingthis one when i’m listening to this album. 

favelyrics: “screaming ‘who could ever leaveme darling?’ but who could stay?”

 i think he knows: the chorus and her vocals… *chef’s kiss*. loveit. cute crush song. more mature yet fun style that works for her. 

fave lyrics:all of the chorus.

miss americana: i get it, i see the politics of it all but. i’mgonna skip it. soz 

favelyrics: “my team is losing, battered andbruising i see the high fives between the bad guys”

 paper rings: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS. again, pure,happy, bubbly, unashamed love. a love bop that i adore. 

fave lyrics:“i like shiny things but i’d marry youwith paper rings / i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this”

corneliastreet: it’s a nostalgic song that i can’t decide if it’s exactly abreak-up song or not. i like to think the “sacrednew beginning / that became my religion” lyrics are a nod to her bestreputation song aka don’t blame me. i’m so-so on this one but it’s definitely notbad, don’t think i’ll be skipping it for now. 

favelyrics: “that’s the kinda heartbreak timecould never mend / (…) and baby i get mystified by how this city scream yourname”

 death by a thousand cuts: eh? it’s nice and soft and sad-ish but. idk.not right now - since the album is still pretty fresh to me - but i’ll probablystart skipping this one eventually. 

favelyrics: “you said it was a great love,one for the ages / but if the story’s over why am I still writing pages?”

 bondon boy: i am so sorry for every londoner that had tolisten to this one. i could hear it being offensive as soon as she startedsaying those words. it sounds nice and fun but jesus christ taylor. it’s likesomeone from her label said “you gottamake it clear you’re fucking that joe dude or your album won’t sell” andtaylor immediately googled ‘british slang’ and wrote this song. 

fave lyrics:“but something happened i heard himlaughing / i saw the dimples first and then i heard the accent” i’m asimple phannie. i hear the word dimples i think of dan

soon you’ll get better: bro. was not ready. you can hear thepain and fear in her voice. the chorus kind of reminds me of “never grow up”(aka my fave taylor swift song), etc. the sad, almost hopeless addition of “cause you have to” is so heartbreaking. it’sa personal and gorgeous yet sad song, and she goes back to her country roots for this one,so that’s nice. absolutely beautiful. 

fave lyrics:hard to choose but “you like the nicernurses you make the best of a bad deal / i just pretend it isn’t real / i’llpaint the kitchen neon, i’ll brighten up the sky / i know i’ll never get itthere’s not a day that i won’t try” i hate, hate, the notion ofromanticizing a sad and scary situation like this one, and i think i understandthis as less of romanticizing and more of sympathizing with, cause i’ve alsobee in this situation with my family – but because it was just a few days agothat phil revealed his father’s battle with cancer, i couldn’t help but thinkof him too and how much he must have feared for his dad while still trying to keep it together for everyone around him.

false god: love the sax. i know i will fully love thissong at some point. i know it. i’m just not there yet. i like the parts when she has torush her words. i’ll get there with this one. 

favelyrics: “they all warned us about timeslike this / they say the road gets hard and you get lost”

 you need to calm down: fun, boppy, cute. i get what shewas going for and appreciate it. it’s a more carefree pop song and i’m okaywith it. not unskippable though. 

fave lyrics:“and i ain’t tryna mess with your self expressionbut i’ve learned a lesson that stressing and obsessing bout somebody else is nofun”

 afterglow: i don’t know yet. probably one i’ll skip. notbad, i don’t think there’s a song in this album that is necessarily Bad, butthis one is just not really memorable. 

fave lyrics:don’t have one actually. soz

me!: definitely not a masterpiece BUT introduced usto this era which is probably her best pop era. i loved the absolute changefrom the reputation era, bringing back colors, bringing back fun, introducing amore politically active taylor swift, etc. i also like the idea that she knowsthat this is not her best work but she knew that if she was gonna make a catchyradio friendly pop song, she’d make one that’s about self love, etc. 

fave lyrics: i’m a simple girl, “me e e e, o o o oh”

 it’s nice to have a friend: this folk-y vibe? works? is thisfolk? sorry if im being dumb. but it has a lonely vibe, it’s kind of really sadin a way, but it’s lovely at the same time. 

fave lyrics:“something gave you the nerve / to touchmy hand”

 daylight: a song about letting go and forgiving herselffor her past mistakes and learning to focus on the good parts of her life, morespecifically her lover. like new year’s eve was to reputation, this is a nicesong to wrap this album. 

fave lyrics:“you are what you love”

[accio-prongs]

I also adore icarus‘ story.I am in love with the greek mythology. the story teaches you very much& I sympathized with daedalus quite a lot.. sorry for my late reply. I was busy filling in your application for fun. I thought the questions were def. important. well, even if I would be more of a ‚partner‘.. recently I find my self thinking about just- running away. which left me with my question for you: if you could run away, how, what would it be like? alone or with a lover? where would you go?-n

omy u filled in my application who r u 😠😠😳👉👈

op been thinmin abt running awya hope ur okay bro

if i would ever run away, it would prolly be with a lover, or literally anyone,, im too pussy to survive that ordeal alone !! but me n the luvur will run away into the woods and become one (become two??) w the trees n earth

or mayb perhaps live in an abandoned cottage,, the one w moss covering the walls n vines creeping all over, idk we make it ours n its lovely again

not rly sure abt rhe How part,, but if i know anything abt myself is thst i make irrational n dumb decisions fast so the whole running away think mayb a bit spontaneous but :•)

where would u go if u ever run away, nov

[unproduciblesmackdown]

you said random number so.. gimme 5, 17, 24, 26, 38, and 43

#epic thank you!!!! sorry this is so long, gang, but you know me. press J if you have that keyboard shortcut option

5)favorite fics?

soph nothingunrealistic’s!! click the link & peruse any of the dozen gifts to this world on ao3. also just go right to her writing tag

17)a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?

well i don’t Really have an answer for this one, but just yesterday it was once again time to talk abt how jaclyn moriarty’s 4-book ashbury/brookfield YA series is a lot of fun and unusual in good ways, but like, i guess what with being published throughout the aughts and like, not being super obscure but also not being explosively popular, and idk maybe they were also more Known in australia than the US, and, idk, but there’s not exactly what you’d call a Fandom online, or even very many traces of one. and i just like to mention the series as Fun To Read because they are very lively and focus on girls and have a real variety of Girl Characters (and also some boy characters who are also varied and fun but that’s just a bonus) and in particular i like to talk about how the third book has a really Unusual Choice Of Protagonist (the unfun unpopular Best Grades by-the-book overachiever etc etc etc nerd girl, kinda having the personality that ppl misinterpret alana beck’s personality to be lol, like something of a killjoy goody-two-shoes lol, but also with that earnestness and drivenness that alana has as well)......and the format of each book is Epistolary, but in different and creative ways each time, and it’s fun how like, the characters who are telling the story (the ones whose letters are used and etc) rotate with each book [tho emily and lydia are Storytellers in the 2nd And 4th books] and it’s very neat how like, you do get that sense that just b/c someone’s not being Focused On as much from different people’s perspectives doesn’t mean they aren’t still existing and present and doing stuff and having their own story, even when that’s not being mentioned by whoever’s writing down the events that we’re reading. we love that sentiment. anyways i just like to always Promote them.

24)who are you at the end of this decade?

hmmm!! i mean in many ways i am who i have been the whole time but yknow, 2009 - 2019 was a tumultuous period. i was always furiously trying to think through Who Am I As A Person for various reasons, even though like, when you’re in ur mid-teens that’s always In Progress rather than there being a really set answer to be discovered, and for a while it was a lot of frustration with myself all “why are you like [this], why can’t you do [that] right,” etc etc. but eventually i had like, a better frame of reference for a lot of what was going on, and even why i never quite felt like i had a great sense of Who I Am and What I Like and etc in the first place, and more understanding and respect for myself lol. even now it’s like, yknow i’m ~self-consious~ in ways often lol and i’ll sometimes Use that to be like, okay try to improve [this thing] about yourself!! and yknow on the one hand i feel like stuff i’ve been Working On for years Has paid off in ways, but then recently it’s like......okay hang on but like, it’s not a bad thing to like, have some traits that maybe aren’t gonna be seen as “perfect” or might be annoying or yknow, your Demeanor and Vibe isn’t always like, the most important thing to focus on lol or something where like, oh being sweet & saintly & coming across as utterly pleasant to everyone always gets to be The Objective Ideal. like, i’m opinionated and can be argumentative and sometimes impatient?? like, there’s a balance here between “good to be trying to Improve Yourself always or whatever lol” and “but also everyone is People with Traits and Different Personalities and everyone doesn’t have to just sand themselves down into an edgeless smooth sphere” and like, sure it’s like “haha i’m a bit more temperamental than i’d like still” but also i sure sympathize w/ the fact that like, oof, depression makes it tricky sometimes! and i do pretty okay at like, being Aware of when my mood is cursed and trying to be as chill about it as poss! or like, “haha wish i was better at conversation lmao” but yknow also understanding that like.....i’m just kinda Not great at it and that’s what’s Natural for me and like, again, a balance between “trying to be easier to talk to, lol” and “being okay with the fact that i’m not super easy to talk to and most ppl aren’t very easy for me to talk to either, lol”

im trying to be a bit less cagey lol which i guess might not be the first word someone might use to describe me for a variety of reasons, But......and but then also, i just like, for me there is no simple Be Yourself, Just Talk Naturally As U Would conversation mode lol, but you know. it’s hardly a pressing issue, and at the same time, like, sometimes when i find it hard to talk to people it’s like “well this is just you needing to Be Nicer” or whatever, or like, well you’re just not used talking to Anyone so like, push through it, and then it takes me a while to realize like, well no you just don’t love talking to them, lmao......and at the same time i’m Really slow to realize when people *do* actually enjoy talking to me, lmao, i am just not used to it And used to people like, not really being super interested in interacting with me even if they think i’m alright lol. lord! so i’m still slightly surprised whenever Anyone likes me, but also like, then again there’s sort of always these repeated scenarios where it’s like [Glum Trombone Noise] i’m also the recipient of various ppl’s various contempt for various reasons........which like, i sure don’t Absorb that as like “way 2 go, you deserve that” but also like, sure also never is the most fun experience of your life. but i have a way more solid sense of the fact that like, i don’t inherently deserve that, and an understanding of Why people will be Like That sometimes, and that’s all been acquired knowledge from the whole journey of this decade lol

also like, i have always been and continue to be like, Basically A Cat lol.....cats-sonas for everyone, ___ the ___ cat, But Seriously Folks........like, oh, there’s a lot of ppl and/or noise around?? unless i have chosen to put myself in that situation for fun, i’m probably gonna be finding whatever quiet / distant corner to hide out in and try to remain as undetected as possible.......kinda wary about interacting with people sometimes, though then also, i like to be friendly w/ strangers (if they’re friendly with me) and won’t necessarily mind spontaneous interactions but only if it’s Plausibly Expected in the situation, and even then, i might just prefer that Nobody Talk To Me......and i’ve yet to be Really comfortable in a group of ppl if i’m there *with* that group lmao, like, i don’t like to take the lead or compete for attention or anything and just kinda will try to do my own thing on the outskirts, whereas if i’m by myself it’s just like, i feel a lot more comfortable and like i can just do whatever lmao..........and also i don’t like to make noise lol. unless again, it’s deliberate, and it’s Fun. like at a concert? i will be the death of whatever nerd like, wants it to be like a solemn “listening to a record” occasion or wants everyone to yell out complete sentences if a performer asks an Arena full of people How Are You Doing 2nite or whatever. i’m gonna yell!!! anyways. idk. i am always like “oh i am Very Much [this way], except for all the times i am totally [the would-be Opposite way]”........i can’t really opt out of having Anxious Qualities and that’s alright, even though it does get in the way of things sometimes for sure. like, c’est la vie!!! i understand why i am like this, and that like, while for my own sake i can try to hold my own hand here and encourage myself to be a little bolder, it’s totally fine that like, i have Problems and Difficulties. 

i’m also at like, maybe the lowest levels of Impending Dread that i’ve had since i was like, 8 or some shit lmao............like again kind of a Wild Decade and one where like, it was totally all like “wow am i even gonna make it to [a few yrs in the future] -> [a year in the future] -> [half a year from now]” aaand it hasn’t been a full year yet since i was last thinking like “lmfao oof i might not be alive by __, who knows!!” but even while that was going on it was at least an improvement from the times i thought i might like, hmm hope i don’t off myself. and like, this is probably the first Start Of A Year in like. well possibly the past decade lmao, where yknow, it hasn’t felt quite as dire. i mean im not really out here a cockeyed optimist about anything, and like, i’m aware that things are always a little tenuous and there’s other factors i’m always nervous about, but That’s nothing new, and i’m kinda more like, neutral about the future rn lol? feeling less Dread and Doom is new-ish lmao and like, allowing that yknow, despite how crappy the past decade has been re: how i felt in my Outlook, there’s been a bunch of surprising Good Things to come along, and i totally allow for the fact that that could easily continue to happen. having Less(ened) Bad Feelings about Things might not = Absolutely Thriving but i appreciate it!! i also try to be appreciative lmao. like, what with the dread and doom & (hope i don’t die this year, i guess,) feelings, it’s wildly hard nowadays for me to like, anticipate stuff in a ~fun~ way or at all, but yknow when anything nice, even a really small / unspectacular / ordinary moment and/or detail, is being experienced by me, i try to enjoy that. i like to be Appreciative. and i think i’m also sort of like, sharing more of myself than i’ve probably gotten to or felt capable of doing in the past, and i appreciate that a lot too. like, it can be really Depressing for sure to think of like, hmm i haven’t had the chance to like, feel in control of things and like things are Totally Fine and i feel Totally Okay & like i’m enjoying everything, and i can choose to pursue [things i might enjoy], and maybe i Won’t have that chance? [another glum trombone noise] but like. i appreciate the good experiences that i Do and Have gotten so far. and the fact i’ve ever been in situations to connect with people and enjoy things the ways that i can and like, it’s really nice that My Presence in other ppl’s lives, even as just like Some Online Rando re: some ppl lmao, has had some positive effect for them or even just been enjoyed is like, wow, this is pretty great lol.........not sure where i was taking this tangent but like, i am someone who appreciates this a lot.

hmm i am also a passionate person at the end of this decade lmao!!!! that has definitely always been true. i am Of That Temperament. it is funny b/c like, the fact that i am A Motormouth Actually But Often Not Saying Anything In The Least To People, they think i’m like, of this very mild disposition and Not someone with strong opinions that they will launch into, or else i would have been doing that already........but you know!!! here i am online, fully able to just dive into things and start talking about whatever for one million years. and i sure latch onto stuff in a Big Way sometimes, which is why anyone follows me at all lol, b/c if you like [whatever particular content] and i am just all about that too, it’s a beneficial situation for us both i guess lmao. i can get really excited and focused about stuff, obviously, and i sure Also Obviously like to explore the emotional aspects of things. which is a vague thing to say lmfao but you all know what i mean!!! it continues to be the only reason i draw lmaooo like i draw so much and like, Making Fanart And Sharing It Online has i think also been a journey of this decade for me, and i really only draw a) exactly that fanart that i feel like making, and b) what i feel like making is always also probably abt Feelings somehow, like the Three Emotions: kissing (aka gay), crying (sad), and angry (angry)........great news if you want to see the stuff i already happen to be drawing lol!!! bad news i guess if you were hoping i’d draw anything but whatever i end up wanting to draw. i cannot be diverted. and i don’t even draw for its own sake lol like, i’ve always doodled for fun and all that, but like, ive never been a “wow i want to make my own __ someday” or whatever, and if i’m trying to draw something which is anything other than [the exact thing i might feel like drawing] it is Such a chore that like, i just don’t do it except for like, total Exceptions. except exceptions lol. don’t ask!! anyways why did i get on that drawing tangent there........yeah it’s definitely lucky that i’ve been giving myself that Drawing Experience so that i can connect w/ ppl that way, cuz i’m godawful at like, necessarily providing other stuff lol Or at being the one to Make Connections Happen otherwise......and also of course sometimes it is easier to convey/communicate something via drawing. woohoo!!

anyways yeah i’m a bit excitable lol and i sure guess i’ve got that Chaotique energy at times, for better or worse lol........like sometimes my Contribution can be like, just an absolute wild card thrown into the pile, or just like, maybe adding some Boost to a situation that other people can run with if they so choose. just throw things out there sometimes and enjoy when other ppl find that fun lmao

what else is there about me??? lol.......oh yeah i’m always sort of an Office Goofaround (not actually in an office ever, though). like, when ppl Don’t have that sense of Collaborative Humor where like, if someone does something a bit silly u just roll with that bit, or if god forbid they have Exhausting Cishet Guy humor where they think everything is about Dry, “Intelligent” Sarcasm and that being “funny” is about making yourself look like the coolest or cleverest person there who Wins the Center Of Attention spot?? it’s like, eff that, where are my Get Silly gang. also puns are funny but also only b/c they are silly. you have to really lean into it lol. 

well anyways!!!! and when i am asked to talk about myself i can be very extensive and yet not necessarily cover everything. here we are

26)favorite look you had?

my look hasn’t changed too much! Tees n Jeans (or shorts? or jorts? lol) are pretty much my thing altho you Know i have at times added in A Layer, or even accessories.......as always, part of the first few years of the decade for me was the whole “aha, yeah okay i’m trans” process, but before that i wasn’t ever really trying to be more “””””””””fashionable”””””””””” than the tees n jeans type of look anyway lmao, and even nowadays like, i have some Wardrobe Items that like, ppl might consider ”androgynous” or whatever when cis dudes wear them, like leggings or a v-neck sweater........really some of the only significant Changes was getting binder/s eventually (by 2012?? ugh idk) and also like, by 2011 i cut my hair relatively short, and from there on i just like, every year went “ugh god i need it to be shorter” and even now i’m like, hmm, do i want it shorter or is this fine?? but also i’m somewhat limited styling-wise b/c i just continually cut it myself in a bathroom mirror, true chaotic. and! i’ve been like, god i wish i had a baseball cap that’s just like, solid [my fave blue] or yknow, black or something, or idk. one that i like. and also someday it would be nice to like, not only have an updated prescription of lenses but also Multiple Glasses Frames to choose from, even though my current ones are alright still lol.......this is me just talking abt my past looks and how i’d like to potentially update my look lmao i did Not answer the question but, as usual, i also don’t have a great direct answer lol

38)a prediction you had for this decade that came true?

lol this was not a decade where i was ever looking ahead to 2020 and making any assumptions about this Block Of Time as a whole.......i mean like, i was Really starting to suspect byyyy 2012 for sure that like, i could not like, be able to exist And have my parents be in my life at all lol and by 2013 it was just like. increasing confirmation of that. and i last saw / spoke to them prior to me just effing out of there at the end of 2015. snaps for me

43)an important relationship (of any kind) you had?

well a couple i appreciated that might not be obvious were pretty brief and fairly impersonal lol. so in 2015 i had this Nightmare Job for five whole months which was obviously miserable in most ways, but there was this other guy who wasn’t even a Coworker, we just had the same job and had similar routes of Stores to go to, so we would run into each other a lot of mornings, and he would talk to me and i’d talk to him and he was totally good-humored about everything and that was helpful lmao b/c it’s great to have Someone you enjoy seeing. i also struck up a rapport with a baked-goods stocker at one particular store, and that could be an enjoyable 14 seconds. it was a godawful job lmao and like, Any pleasantness at all / decent treatment from other people was very helpful

also at this other job the next year which was a lot less hellish, there was this customer lady who like, i can’t remember at what point she started talking to me but yknow it got to be that if we’d run into each other she’d kind of update me on her life. and she would be like “sorry i’m talking to you, a stranger, about all this stuff all the time, but my life is a mess and i don’t really have anyone to talk to” and i would be like, lmfao mood, do not even worry about it, and yknow this was someone i only ran into usually once every few weeks at my job, and could only listen to for however long, but she was Going Tf Through It all the time and as much as i am a chatterbox who will go on for a century about myself b/c i can’t be concise abt anything ever, i’m also decent at being in Listening Mode lmao or yknow, i was like No Truly i don’t mind you venting, and also yknow, i’m like well i know how much it sucks to have Nobody to talk to about Big Problems. and i am this random restaurant worker and if i’m one of the only people this lady can talk to, you can bet i’m going to listen lol.......and she was really goin through it all One Thing After Another and yknow i’d catch her two weeks later and she’d be all like, well [this situation] has gotten worse, or This One Problem is over but now New Problem has replaced it, etc, and a whole issue that i got updated on was like lol. she had this boyfriend who she’d kinda mention early on when she was talking abt trying to find a job, or losing a new-but-terrible job and once again being back in that Job Hunt Stress, and idk like. i just sort of have decent Relationship Instincts lmfao of like “hmm this doesn’t sound great” but like, a month or two later she’s straightup Married to this dude, and i’m like oh congrats :) and then when a month or two after That she’s talking about how like, she’s maybe having Job Probs again and her now-husband is really giving her shit for like, not having found a new one yet, i’m like internally all [ :)))))) Not Surprised :))))))) ] but i’m like. yknow you Sympathize n Validate but if you just up and tell someone who’s being treated real bad like “you are being treated terribly, this person is acting terribly” then they might just want to defend them like oh it’s not That bad, or minimize it, and blame themselves for making their terrible partner “look bad”.......and by extension when she once was in our restaurant With said husband and introduced us i was like, just getting further confirmation abt this dude’s shittiness from his Immediate Vibe lmao like....whenever i feel uncomfortable enough in someone’s presence in a [not just universal level of Anxiety] way, it’s like, that instinct is pretty reliable & accurate lol.....but i had to pretend Not to hate him or act too standoffish towards him lmao cuz like!!! i figured i could “get away with it” but yknow, this lady had already said how isolated she was and the husband sure seemed Controlling and like, yknow, if you act like you don’t Like the shitty partner or said shitty partner catches wind of you maybe telling this person that “hey your partner is being shitty” then it’s all, them telling their partner “don’t go around that person who is so obviously Against me >:(” and like. yknow i figured as Random Restaurant Employee this dude wasn’t about to be super on guard about me but i still was not wanting to risk it but luckily i only met him the one time and only had to casually pretend i didn’t think he was shit that one time. and anyhow! soon enough the lady is talking to me about how she thinks getting married to him was a mistake but like, again, she was real isolated and didnt have family or friends or ppl in the area to talk to, and like, yknow she would be pretty sure her husband was cheating on her but of course He was the one all like, wanting to be controlling and invade her privacy and accuse Her of cheating on him, and i’m like, internally screaming but again yknow, i’m just letting her vent to Anyone (me) and sympathizing. and iirc her talking about her “uh oh my husband sucks” was like, i had come back from this delivery so we were in the parking lot lol and she was so upset about all of it and like, “sorry i’m just this random person talking to you for twenty minutes in a parking lot and crying lol” and i’m like. i mean yknow if the only person you can vent to about this terrible situation is me, this random person in a parking lot, absolutely i am glad to do it, even though i would’ve done it anyways lol...........and i was so mad at our General Manager this one time lmao b/c. yknow it’s a couple weeks later and wouldn’t you know it, The Lady is really stressed b/c her husband was yelling at her and broke a window in their apartment, and the Cost Of Repairs added to their monthly rent meant they might not be able to make that rent, and she was in that crappy situation that gets pulled on Tenants Who Probably Don’t Have Much Money, where you’re supposed to get 5 Days Notice or whatever when they’re like “get out b/c your rent is overdue” but you get that Notice on like, friday afternoon when your Last Day is supposed to be the following monday, and nobody is at the office all weekend, so obviously that’s not five days and it’s really only One Day and that Last Day that you’d even have a chance to talk to anyone, which is also a monday when you’d probably have work, and yknow, good luck finding help over the weekend, when probably ppl will just want to spend that time rushing to just pack their shit up and leave anyways.....ANYHOW it’s just some particular heinous bullshit and it was like, the saturday after it had happened to her, and i sympathized entirely b/c that had happened to me and i now lived in my car but i figured i wouldn’t bring that up lmfao.......and anyways i was sitting down with her to listen to her b/c it’s an Insanely Stressful Situation and again like, whenever she’d show up i’d let her talk to me abt her Problems for however long she felt like. and anyways of course eventually the one By-The-Books manager gives me shit all like “what are you doing daring to Sit Down and Not be doing restaurantly actions, ugh” and i’m like. i mean, unsurprising lecture to get lol, of course, but i was just so impatient like. well this person was having a crisis so i prioritized that above keeping the coffee stirrers fully stocked at all times, bite me. ENNYHOW and i didn’t see her for a minute after that and i Was a bit worried b/c like. of course i had every reason to be and she was just always looking so completely exhausted but then like, actually the last time i saw her she was actually more upbeat than ever b/c like! turns out that during an argument her husband had assaulted her and had been arrested. which is of course like. i was like oh i am completely sorry about that trauma but congratulations at this person being separated from you!!! and like, i wish i could have kept up with her beyond that, but i couldn’t, but like, that was the first Improvement in her life that i’d heard since i met her, and it was a way better last-thing-to-hear-from-her than her stressing out abt eviction thanks to her abusive husband breaking shit. and like, weird relationship lmao but!! idk i did feel lucky that i could be The One Person This Lady Gets To Talk With b/c like, god forbid she have absolutely nobody to talk to about this shit or treat her with any sympathy, even if it was just me, the rando she only got to see on occasion. and i hope she’s doing okay still! wish i knew for sure of course, but i’m glad i at least got to be there for her in a tiny way for a period of time and did eventually like, Know that she both knew that this was a bad person to be with, and got that Reason to be separated from him.

[angry-mango]

questions

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? smart, sweet, quiet

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? glass bottles, but if that’s not an option then soda cans

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? pastelpreppygoth

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones

8. movies or tv shows? tv shows

9. favorite smell in the summer? rain or vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.? tug of war

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? water real breakfast used to be like scrambled eggs w bread and orange juice

12. name of your favorite playlist? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

13. lanyard or key ring? i prefer key ring because it’s easier to put in a bag, but i love my lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? jolly ranchers or sweet tarts

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? number the stars - lois lawry

16. most comfortable position to sit in? knees to chest

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? high slipons (i have no idea what they’re called tbh)

18. ideal weather? gentle rain

19. sleeping position? side or stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? here (tumblr)

21. obsession from childhood? owls or cheetah print omfg

22. role model? nobody, trying to be myself

23. strange habits? biting everything

24. favorite crystal? lapis lazuli

25. first song you remember hearing? a thousand miles - vanessa carlton

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? park or the falls (outdoor mall)

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? literally anything outdoors, i want to enjoy it

28. five songs to describe you? ive got a dark alley, sleep, disloyal order of water buffaloes, wilson (expensive mistakes), i don’t care

29. best way to bond with you? include me in things, make an effort to talk to me, try your best to sympathize with my many moods

30. places that you find sacred? hands, neck, downthere

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? silk japanese-ish jacket, black jeans, boots

32. top five favorite vines? a potato flew around my room before u came, u not my dad, NO!!, pReTtY CooL!!, sharkeisha no

33. most used phrase in your phone? sksks

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? target, this ford one from christmas

35. average time you fall asleep? 1 am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? doge

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase

38. lemonade or tea? iced green tea - if not, then lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? lemon cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? my elementary went on lockdown once and we were trapped in the cafeteria and we heard the gunmans footsteps running on the roof, heard doors getting knocked down, couple gunshots but nobody got hurt

41. last person you texted? ollie

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie, although i’ve always wanted a bomber or leather

44. favorite scent for soap? pomegranate

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? sci-fi

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? baggy shirt & leggings

47. favorite type of cheese? american

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? cherry 🍒

49. what saying or quote do you live by? it’s always been “nothing lasts forever” - you might change that

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? the randomest shit you can come up with

51. current stresses? losing someone

52. favorite font? i think it’s georgia

53. what is the current state of your hands? soft, cold, kinda wrinkly smfh

54. what did you learn from your first job? n/a

55. favorite fairy tale? i don’t know

56. favorite tradition? don’t have any traditions, other than cooking every thanksgiving

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? surviving, fasting, dieting when i was on my deathbed

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i’m great at video games, i can hold my breath for like a minute, i’m loyal (is that a talent), and i have good control for certain things

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? it be like that

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? the only anime i’ve ever seen is voltron

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? i don’t know ive seen too many

62. seven characters you relate to? ronald weasley thats it

63. five songs that would play in your club? pet cheetah, the (after) life of the party, planetary (go!), young volcanoes, clocks

64. favorite website from your childhood? coolmathgames

65. any permanent scars? i don’t know if they’re permanent but things that have been there a handful of years, yes - mosquito bites (i’m a terrible healer) some cuts, and a scratch on my foot

66. favorite flower(s)? carnations, snapdragons, lilies

67. good luck charms? tahitian bracelet, bee necklace

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? coconut

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? how to absolutely slay at video games

70. left or right handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? zig zag only cuz it’s hard to draw

72. worst subject? social studies

73. favorite weird flavor combo? does spicy doritos inside sandwiches count

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? twelve (12)

75. when did you lose your first tooth? i have no idea but i think i was 4

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? chips (specifically lays)

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? never grown any plants indoors :(( i’ve always had pets that could potentially eat them and overprotective parents

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? i don’t like sushi so i’ll go with coffee even though i’ve never had it from a gas station what’s the big deal

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? my school id, dear god my license pic is absolutely horrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones? dark jewels

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? aren’t they the same thing- unless u mean what do i call them, then fireflies

82. pc or console? console

83. writing or drawing? writing

84. podcasts or talk radio? neither

84. barbie or polly pocket? polly pocket

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cookies

87. your greatest fear? tornadoes

88. your greatest wish? you

89. who would you put before everyone else? ollie

90. luckiest mistake? dropping out of school (it’s complicated, but i’ve thought about it and decided it was)

91. boxes or bags? boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? sunlight and fairy lights

93. nicknames? aknee, angel

94. favorite season? winter

95. favorite app on your phone? messaging, tumblr, pocket camp

96. desktop background? my favorite sim

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? three

98. favorite historical era? ew history

[willag42]

Yuri!!! On Ice Fanfic Recs with Reviews  ["W" Authors]

Note: Doing some major reformating of the YOI fanfic rec pages. The pages that include my reviews are now having the posts separated alphabetically by author (see below). I am also creating separate page(s) that allow filtering the fanfics by category. It's a work in progress, but I'm having fun with it.

This page includes my YOI fanfic recs (with reviews) for authors whose names begin with "W".

Note: For any authors whom I don't know the gender, I refer to them with they/them. If any authors wish to correct me, please do so.

AUTHORS REC PAGES: #0-9 -- A -- B -- C -- D -- E -- F -- G -- H -- I -- J -- K -- L -- M -- N -- O -- P -- Q -- R -- S -- T -- U -- V -- W -- X -- Y -- Z

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Refer to this masterlist for all of my YOI fanfic recs.

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whelvenwings (@whelvenwings)

You Set My Heart on Fire

Rating: Teen Words: 34.6k Status: Complete Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Tags: Alternate careers AU; Painters; Soulmates AU; Anxiety ❤❤❤❤❤  Summary: Everyone has a soulmate. And everyone sees any marks on their soulmate's skin appear on their own body; it starts with the first marks, drawn on by the midwife at birth. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a soulmate who replies, but Yuuri does, and he knows that he should feel fortunate - however, when he's trying to make a living as a small-time painter, and his soulmate is the famous artist, Viktor Nikiforov... well, it seems slightly less than fortunate. Yuuri can't help but feel self-conscious. So self-conscious, in fact, that he's never even shown Viktor his face, never let Viktor hear his voice. The only way that they've spoken is through ink, writing message after message to each other on their skin - but that's all about to change. ❤❤❤❤❤  Review: This soulmate fic takes place in an alternate universe where Yuuri and Viktor are painters. They have been communicating with each other since Yuuri's birth by writing to one another on their skin. Yuuri is an extremely anxious and very sensitive in this AU, nervous to let himself be known to many people, including Viktor. Eventually, at 24, he works up the nerve to call Viktor on the phone and soon gets wrangled into a painting competition with Yuri using Viktor's body as the canvas. This is a story about Yuuri slowly becoming more confident and bold in both his relationship with Viktor and with his art. A big setback occurs which results in Yuuri withdrawing from Viktor, but gradually they work their way back and further beyond. They learn to work with each other's opposing personalities to strengthen and improve themselves and their relationship. This is a delightful fic with a really sweet ending.

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witchbane (@witchsbane)

Kintsugi

Rating: Explicit Words: 114.1k Status: Work In Progress Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Tags: Mafia AU; Enemies to lovers; Angst; Slow burn ❤❤❤❤❤  Summary: Yuuri Katsuki is a hitman burdened with a debt he can never repay. His target: Viktor Nikiforov, next Pakhan to one of the most dangerous families in the Russian mafia. When the two are drawn into a treacherous alliance after a mission gone wrong, the bonds of love and loyalty to family and duty begin to unravel—even as they get more tangled up in each other. ❤❤❤❤❤  Review: I'm normally not much for mafia AUs. I don't enjoy stories with main characters that are genuinely despicable, assholish, or psychotic, and I like it even less when my favorite characters are changed and portrayed that way. What works with Kitsugi is witchbane's talented, careful handling of the characters, more broken and hardened from their experiences, but still likeable and similar to their canon counterparts. Yuuri is turned into an efficient and capable killer in order to pay off a debt, but he hates what he does, feeling guilty about several of his actions, but is determined to see it through because he desires to finally go back home to his family and earn his freedom. Victor is colder and more ruthless, but does so out of loyalty and care for Yakov and others in the mafia family, and he values loyalty in others. He's an asshole to Yuuri at first, being a for-hire hitman and outsider, but comes to genuinely care for him, respecting Yuuri's desire to not be forced into sex, worrying over him when he gets injured, and trusting him with secrets. They are slowly forging a loving bond in harsh, cruel conditions, and it will be interesting to see where the story goes from there considering how much Yuuri is hiding from Victor. The story is realistic, gritty, and angsty, doesn't glorify or romanticize the lifestyle, and still maintains sympathetic characters. It makes for a fascinating fic, and I really appreciate what witchbane has done with it.

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writingfromtheshadows (@lovingnikiforov)

Equivalent Exchange

Rating: Mature Words: 129.6k Status: Work In Progress Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Tags: Fantasy AU; Royalty AU; Politics; Magic; Hurt/comfort ❤❤❤❤❤  Summary: Without the Katsuki line to protect and maintain the laws of magic, Great Mages have become so few and far between that many believe the age of magic is coming to an end. However, when he comes across a young man weaving tales with figures of fire, Viktor begins to wonder if magic is truly dead, or if it lives on in the body of the storyteller with warm brown eyes. ❤❤❤❤❤  Review: This fic is absolutely amazing. Hands down one of the best royalty, political thriller fanfics for YOI, with everyone being a competent badass in their own special way. Dessa takes great care at carefully developing the plot and characters, never sacrificing one for the other. The beginning of the fic sets the stage for Viktor and Yuuri's relationship, both ommitting key facts about themselves, but still able to create a connection. Viktor is a king who just wants a break from the ever-constant responsibility and to connect with someone who just sees him as Viktor. Yuuri is a mage who pretends to not be one, and becomes attached to this man who seems to have a target painted on his back. The beginning is mostly light-hearted, with hints of the trouble to come. The Nikiforovs have a powerful, magical enemy that is determined to destroy their dynasty, and Yuuri becomes the only possible person to combat these attacks. The plot is gradual to work its way in, but once it does it hits in full force, and the topics tackled are heavy - regicide, mass murders, discrimination, duty/sacrifice. The story approaches the conflicts and politics in a realistic manner - everybody has to sacrifice something for the greater good. As much as some of Viktor's advisors would like to play the part of Viktor's friend and trust his faith in Yuuri, they must remain skeptical and wary. As much as Yuuri would just like to run away and hide who he is, he is the only force powerful enough to protect Viktor and change the course of the battle. As much as Viktor would like to be more familiar around Yuuri, he must maintain a certain distance. Dessa utilizes multiple POVs so that you understand the motivations behind each of the main characters. Everyone is so well-rounded. I love it how in one chapter I can be so frustrated with the actions of one character, and in the next I'm sympathizing with their plight and reasons behind their actions. And it's not just one character, it's multiple. They all make frustrating mistakes, but they all also learn and grow from these mistakes. Their inner thoughts and interactions with one another builds the careful framework that this story thrives on. Wow, I really really really can't wait to see how this fic is resolved - this is the story I most eagerly anticipate updates for.

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Wynn (@astreetcarnamedwynn)

Wynn is so great with balancing the dynamics between Yuuri, Victor, and Yuri. Normally I don't care for Yuri taking away focus from Yuuri and Victor, but I love how she weaves him into her fics. She is perhaps one of the few authors that I will gladly read Yuri's POV and interactions with Yuuri and Victor.

Sixty Impossible Things

Rating: Teen Words: 77.9k Status: Work In Progress Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov; (platonic friendship) Yuri+Yuuri Tags: Canon divergent; Alterate meeting after Sochi; Sassy Yuuri; Pining Victor; Anxiety; Getting to know each other; Learning to relationship ❤❤❤❤❤  Summary: Yuuri sits shellshocked at the barrage of messages. His friends and family in Hasetsu possessed a modicum of chill, as Phichit would say, at least when it came to phones and social media. This blitz... possessed no chill whatsoever. None. Yuuri thinks even Phichit would be awed. "Yuri Plisetsky and Viktor Nikiforov are messaging me the argument I think they’re having with each other about each other while likely standing right next to each other while texting me." Celestino stares at him a long moment, silent. Then he lifts a hand to his temple, closes his eyes, and sighs. ❤❤❤❤❤  Review: This is a canon divergence fic where Yuri starts contacting Yuuri soon after the Sochi Grand Prix, and things barrel out of control from there. Something that I absolutely LOVE is that Wynn focuses on Yuuri's relationships with Yuri, Viktor, Phichit, Celestino, and Minami. The way Yuuri interacts with each of them is different, and I appreciate the care and emphasis she puts on making each one important for Yuuri. Celestino is often an overlooked character, so I really appreciate her attention to him. The conversations are honest, occasionally savage, occasionally funny, and just generally sweet. I especially love how he responds to Yuri's rudeness with equal rudeness initially, which is refreshing to the normal "oh what a cute kitten." Yuri can be a real dick, and it's nice to see him called out on such dickishness. And while the interactions between the two are petty and contentious from both sides for a while, this slowly changes as the fic continues. Originally, this story was set as complete at five chapters and has since been continued, which I was so excited to see! Each chapter continues to get better, further developing the dynamics between Yuuri, Victor, and Yuri. Recent chapters have seen a break through between the three, being more honest with each other, and all the angst and stress beforehand was worth the heartwarming payoff. I love this story so much, and I'm glad that Wynn decided to continue it!

Yuri, the Vampire Slayer

Rating: Teen Words: 20.9k Status: Work In Progress Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov; (platonic) Yuri+Yuuri; (brothers) Victor+Yuri Tags: Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU; Vampire slayer Yuri; Vampire slayer Yuuri; Watcher Yuuri; Witch Victor; BAMF Yuuri ❤❤❤❤❤  Summary: One month after the death of his Watcher, Yakov Feltsman, sixteen-year old Yuri Plisetsky struggles to deal with the grief he feels at Yakov's death as well as the burden he bears at being a vampire slayer, particularly keeping his secret from his best friend, Otabek Altin. Yuri's brother, Viktor, struggles as well, having traded ballet and the Bolshoi for lawnmowers and suburbia following the death of their mother two years prior. Into both of their lives walks Yuuri Katsuki, a walking knot of contradictions, with his ugly tie and slicked back hair, bearing the news that he, now, is Yuri's new Watcher. ❤❤❤❤❤  Review: I was hesitant to start this story despite being a big Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan (favorite American tv series still to this day). I saw the title, wasn't too enthusiastic for a story where Yuri was the main character, and stayed away. I shouldn't have worried, because Wynn does a great job balancing the scenes between all three characters. And despite Yuri getting the title role, the Buffy mantle is shared between him and Yuuri (Yuuri is 7th season Buffy to Yuri's 1st season Buffy). Yuuri shares several of his slaying stories with Yuri, which any fan of the Buffy series will recognize (the drowning, fight with the mayor, etc). I love how much of a BAMF Yuuri is. Yuri is understandably angry with the whole situation, slowly improving with Yuuri's guidance. And Victor is desperate to protect his brother and keep their family together. It's really well done, and I hope that Wynn eventually gets back to the story.

[minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong]

SUP SIS HOW U LIVIN???? so lets talk abt this chap: (1) mr jung hoseok CAME for my wig. i am HIGHKEY shipping y/n and hoseok even tho this is a taehyung fanfic wtf???? i mean i know this is a tae event and all (and u know i was w a i t i n g for this) but can i say that i rly hope they'll makeout before y/n ends up with tae??? wHAT DID YOU DO TO ME MERCURY I WONT FORGIVE YOU THIS TIME!!!! (2) why taehyung being a cold bitch makes me like him even more lmao im a masochist i want to be punisheD

(3) i am sooo curious about tae and y/ns past! it seems that their friendship was pretty nice tho. perharps at some time they were ~more~ than friends? i also loved that small flashback between the two. rly hoping for more of these in the future chapters! (4) jimin and y/n are also super cute together but i only see them as bros ok lmao (5) at first i didnt rly like sunny but now i sympathize w her the poor girl just wants to live her life (hopefully??) and also !! yn is the best manager ever !!

and also the last scene!!! when i read that they were both wet and she invited him to her house i was like yAAASS!!!!! and then he took his shirt off and y/n closed the door and i was like YAAAAAAASSSSS!!! and then he approached her from behind and i was like YAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY!!!! i mean i kinda knew it wouldnt happen so soon but a girl can dream lmao i am so in love with dissonance already as you may have realized kkj hopefully i'll be alive until sunday :))

HELLO OH MY GOODNESS! I’m so glad to see you haha. How are you living my dear? I’m doing good.

1. HE’S RELENTLESS ISN’T HE??? I told you I wanted to write a Hoseok fic haha so even though it’s a Tae fic it’s a Hoseok fic. And HMMMM I wonder what will happen with their relationship? I’M SORRY!

2. Whoa, I actually wrote out a quote I’m gonna use for this fic later on about masochism and love and all that soft stuff haha are you spying on me?

3. YAY I’M GLAD YOU’RE CURIOUS! I think their story will slowly reveal itself as the story chugs along. And I’m stoked that you liked the lil flashback/dream thing that went down! I like that mode of storytelling rather than outright exposition, so I’m glad you liked.

4. OH YEAH THEY ARE BROS AND BROS ONLY NOTHING MORE HAHA! That is a spoiler I feel comfortable giving for sure lmao. 

5. It’s so funny you mentioned this because I actually wrote Sunny initially as a very mean character! I changed it because she didn’t feel real to me, so I’m happy she’s a sympathetic character now. I’m soft for her too tbh haha. 

6. YEEEEEE THE LAST SCENE LMAO! Huehuehue that scene was fun. Tae is a lil flirt even when he isn’t trying to be. YOUR LOVE OF THE STORY MAKES ME WANNA CONTINUE WRITING NO MATTER WHAT MY DUDE!! Haha I can’t wait to write more!!