#i swear to fucking god when i next see her im beating the shit out of her

[duck-woamn]

i feel numb, tired, calm all at the same time

[spideysbruh]

Married

Can be a pt 2 to my engagement one, but it can be read on its own

liked by tchalamet, dylanminnette, rachelzegler and 3,827,727 others

y/n hold my heart, it's beating for you anyway

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tchalamet SOON SOONY SOON SOON

y/n liked

tchalamet i can't wait for you to be my WIFE

y/n liked

y/n I can't wait for you to be my HUSBAND

rachelzegler so excited for you!! your dress is beautiful 🫶

y/n so is yours 🤭🫶🫶

@y/n just tweeted- only a few more days til my wedding w this guy omg😳😳😳

@realchalamet liked and retweeted

@ynsbejewled replied- LMFAOOO ALSO ARE YOU GONNA SHARE SOME BTS WITH USS 🥺🥺😭😭

@y/n replied- maybe just a little bit, it's pretty intimate so 🤭

@realchalamet replied- I hate you.

@y/n liked and replied to @tchalamet- ok. we'll see if you still agree w that in a few days... at the ALTAR.... where I'll become your WIFE.

@tchalamet replied to @y/n- ... I love you baby im jk always joking never serious I could never hate you I love you forever

@ynssocks replied- PLEASEEEE

@cinemayn replied- I love how she still teases him 💀😭

@realchalamet just tweeted- GETTING MARRIED SO SOON

@y/n liked and retweeted

@realchalamet just tweeted- HERE COMES THE BRIDE 🗣🗣

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@realchalamet just tweeted- WE'RE GETTING MARRIEDDDDD @y/n

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y/n just posted a story!

caption- bro is hella excited !!! 🤭🤭😋😍😍😍 TOMORROWWWWW

liked by tchalamet, harrystyles, florencepugh and 5,817,616 others

y/n wow oh wow. I didn't think I could love you any more, and then you became my husband. my absolute favorite person in this entire universe. I love you forever and ever

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tchalamet I'm gonna cry again stop omg

y/n you're literally right next to me

tchalamet forever and everrrr 🫶

florencepugh my favourite couple ever. I love you both. what a beautiful ceremony.

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rachelzegler beautiful as always y/n!!!

y/n ily thank you my wonderful bridesmaid

tchalamet just posted two stories!

caption- my WIFE 💍

y/n just posted a story!

caption- we got rings on now 😳😳 im a wife???

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tchalamet marrying you has been the greatest joy of my life. I love you endlessly and for eternity Y/N L/N.

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florenceyn CANT BELIEVE WE RLY SAW THEIR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP PROGRESS LIKE THISWOWWW

ynlnsfluffysocks YALL LOOK SO BEAUTFUL PLEASEEE MY PARENTSSS

timmysgf oh god now we gotta hear more about her from him 🙄🙄 just waiting for that divorce now

rachelzegler get a life!

y/n and tchalamet liked

tchalamet i second that ☝️☝️ get a fucking life 🖕

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shawnmendes congratulations 🎉🙏🏼

atreidesyn girl give it up it's been years !!

sabsyn wym??

spectacularyn they used to date 💀

sabsyn WHAT NAUR WAYYYY

spideyyn YUPPP he was lowkey terrible, he shit on her sooo much when they broke up and compared her to his ex in a few interviews 💀 he was a weirdly jealous man

sabsyn wowww wtf... looking this up omg fuck him

duneschalamet THE most beautful couple inside and out I swear

zendaya I LOVE YALL SO BADDD CONGRATS MY FAVORITE PEOPLEEE

tchalamet and y/n liked

*

[toxic3mmy]

The reader's boyfriend is abusive and has bruises all over her arm.

Then your best friend Quackity, who ends up having a crush on the reader, notices the bruises 😭

yesssss, ANGST

pls remember, this is fictional but it does happen to many people on the daily so be respectful my sweets

[i have brackets before and after tw content, PLS do not read if you’re not in the right place or are easily triggered, take care of yourselves my loves<3]

prompt: alex helps you leave an abusive relationship

warnings! mentions of r@pe/forced sex && abuse/abusive relationships

“i can’t believe this y/n” alex said angrily as he paced in his living room

“i can’t believe you didn’t tell me! i’m sure you had your reasons and i promise im not upset at you. im pissed at that piece of shit. and you better let jaime know that if i ever fucking catch him absolutely anywhere, i will beat him to a god damn pulp, i swear on my mother. just look at those bruises! why didn’t you come to me the first time this happened?” he sighed, sitting next to you and taking your hand in his

“it’s not something that’s easy to talk about… i didn’t want you to think i was weak and… i dunno” your cheeks were very tear stained

“y/n… you’re not weak. you’re one of the strongest people i know. i’m so sorry this is happened to you. you deserve the absolute world. please just stay here, don’t go back to him… don’t give him the satisfaction..” he pleaded while looking into your eyes

“i can’t… you know i can’t. i promise everything will be okay. i’m going to go home and he’s going to apologize and i’ll pretend everything is okay until i can plan a way out, okay?”

“y/n… he could kill you. you’re so tiny and fragile especially right now and he’s literally 6 ft…” alex shook his head as he spoke

“i promise to call you if anything. i have to go now, okay? i’ll talk to you when i can” you said, giving your best friend a hug goodbye and heading home

~

you quietly closed the door behind you, hoping not to wake your boyfriend.

“it’s 12am.. where have you been baby?” jaime said with a devilish grin as he stood up and began moving closer to you

you jumped as his voice scared the shit out of you. you expected him to be asleep.

“jaime.. i thought you’d be asleep. i was just at the park, needed to clear my head” you gulped nervously as jaime wrapped his arms around you

“are you seriously still mad about earlier? i told you i was sorry… i promise i didn’t mean to hurt you. you know i love you to bits y/n” he said, with a strong smell of alcohol and cigarettes on his breath

“i k-know.. but i’m here now”

“let me make it up to you…” he said, kissing your neck roughly

suddenly, your phone vibrated in your pocket. you shut your eyes tightly, already knowing what was going to come next. jaime stopped kissing you and snatched your phone from your pants.

“alexis…” he whispered, reading the name of who was calling you and then he turned to look at you. you saw burning rage beginning to form in his eyes. he threw your phone at the wall near you and it shattered

“so you went to see that son of a bitch?! i fucking knew it! you disgust me, you fucking whore. i’ll show you who the fuck you belong to”

[tw; pls skip if you’re not comfortable reading r@pe/forced sexual situations]

a harsh slap echoed throughout the room and your face stung so bad.

he proceeded to rip off your shirt and jeans. you said nothing as he did this. tears silently spilled from your eyes. you were too tired to fight back. you were too tired to make a sound. you were just so tired.

you laid there as he did the unthinkable to you. your body was in terrible pain as he gripped your arms and took everything from you. he had you faced down on the sofa and all you could bring yourself to do was stare at the floor.

you decided right there that thus was the end. the second jaime was nowhere nearby, you’d finish getting your half packed things and leave him once and for all.

he finally finished and kissed your back, dressing himself back up.

“i love you so much baby, i hope you know that.. i’m gonna run to the store to get some more beer and some cigarettes before they close. i’ll be back okay? then we can have some more fun” he smiled and kissed your head before leaving

[end of tw]

~

your heart was racing. you had about ten minutes before jaime got home. you hurriedly packed as much as you could fit in your backpack and your small traveling bag. you made sure to get your expensive stuff like your ipad for school, your jewelry, and especially your car. you also did your best to get your clothes and shoes together.

before walking out of the door, you looked yourself in the mirror behind your front door. your hair was messy as you hadn’t brushed it in a few days. your arms were sore and had patches of purple and yellow scattered everywhere. your eyes were swollen and red from constant crying. your mascara and eyeliner were runny, and you looked a complete mess. you had a black eye and you felt embarrassed. you put on your sun glasses and left that prison of a house.

you got into your car with all your belongings and drove. you didn’t exactly know where you wanted to go but it’s like your body knew where to go and all you could do was follow it.

the worst pain you felt was in your heart. your heart was in so much pain from everything. you couldn’t believe how bad you let this get. you knew you deserved better.

as you parked your car at your destination, you took a deep breath. you locked your car after exiting and headed to the front door. you knocked softly.

alex opened the door sleepily, only in sweatpants.

“y/n? what happened?”

you couldn’t even get a word out as you practically launched forward and sobbed against his chest

“come in, please” he said and you did

he closed and locked the door behind you. he grabbed your bags from your arms and took them to his living room. he then led you to his bedroom and sat you down on his bed.

“did you park in my back parking? remember how we talked about hiding your car if something bad happened again?”

and you nodded

“y/n… what happened?”

“he h-hurt me… so bad ‘lex. he went to the store for more alcohol and i left. i had to. i’m really sorry to bother you with all of this. i just… i feel safest with you..” you said, beginning to sob even more as alex held you

“shh, it’s okay. i’m here and you’re safe now. you’re never a bother to me. you’re my best f-friend… i always want to make sure that you’re okay, chiquita” he said, rubbing your back

“alex…. he hit me… and then h-he… r-raped me… and i’m just a weak useless nothing! i just laid there! w-why? why did this h-happen? where did i go wrong…” you sobbed even more now and alex simply held you tighter

“we ned to get a test done for evidence y/n… we need to protect you. i’m so fucking sorry. you deserve real love. you never ever deserved any of this. you’re not nothing, you’re absolutely everything to me okay? do you want to go and do that rape kit thing at the hospital?” he asked

“i-i don’t know…”

“it’s okay, you still have time to think about it but you only have less than four days to make your mind up. let’s get you out of these clothes and let’s put them away in a sealed bag in case you do want to get tested.” and you just nodded

you felt numb as alex changed you into clothes of his own and put your clothes into a big ziplock bag with gloves on. you didn’t want to have to see jaime again or even relive the pain but maybe this could prevent others getting hurt by him in the future. you still had a little bit of time to think about it.

for now, you let alex change you and lay you in his bed. after he went and made sure every door and window was locked in his house, per your request, he tucked you in and laid right next to you. he held you to his chest and let you cry.

once you calmed down, he sang to you. his voice was so soothing and it was putting you to sleep.

right before you fell into a deep sleep, you heard alex whisper something to you,

“i promise to take care of you and show you the love you deserve. i’ll make you okay again..”

[comicglitterr0909]

Confused. Vanessa Shelly/Afton x Fem!Reader

Vanessa Shelly/Afton x reader who is really bad with emotions. Reader basically had not the best life, and wasn't allowed to show emotions growing up, and so when reader starts catching feelings for Vanessa, you don't know what it is so they are really confused and awkward around Vanessa, also Mike kinda just doesn't exist in this lmao :D

Even though the pizzeria might not have been my first choice, it's really not that bad. Or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself of that…oh well. I close my car door, careful not to do it too hard, the door would probably fall off. I really needed this job, I have maybe 100 dollars to my name. Sighing I use the key that Mr Raglan gave me, I try to unlock it one way, it doesn't unlock.

“Shit..” I mutter to myself, I turn the key a different way, flip it around, I try everything and it just isn't unlocking. I stand there for like 30 minutes fumbling with this stupid fucking key, and just my luck. A cop car pulls up, oh cool they can probably help me, wait oh shit, they are gonna think im trying to break in. I worriedly look at the cop car and wave, the windows are tinted and it's dark out so I can't see who's in there. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, I try to use the key again, glancing back at the female cop who just got out of her car. She looks nice… she can help, wait, all cops look nice, that's their tactic. 

“Hey. What are you doing?” The officer says as I quickly turn around, I can feel my heart start beating faster, I'm usually fine around cops though, whatever it's just nerves. “Officer! Hi um I'm the security guard here, the key I was given isn’t working. I've been trying for like 30 minutes haha…” That was convincing and definitely not suspicious. Shit. She raises her eyebrow, looking me up and down, and glancing at the lock behind me. “You're really lucky that the owner said there was a new security guard, or I'd probably arrest you. Here let me try.” She says with a smile, I hand her the key without saying anything. Woah my stomach feels weird, am I sick or something?? It feels like my stomach has like… horses running around in it. Weird description but whatever…taking a step back I watch as she unlocks it on the first try. 

That's awkward. “How did you do that?? I swear I... I tried for like 30 minutes…” She turns around and gives me back the key, looking me up and down again, god what happens to me? It feels like I'm going to throw up every time she does that. What is happening to me?? “It’s fine, keys can be difficult sometimes.” She smiles at me, fuck I feel like a fool all I can do is just stand there looking at her, I think im having a stroke. No wait, a heart attack, that more likely feels like my heart is eating itself. “Um, thank you Officer.” Why did I say that so weird, god she must think i'm drunk or something.

“Please, my names Vanessa, Vanessa Shelly.” She holds out her hand for me to shake, AND I STARE AT HER HAND FOR LIKE 3 SECONDS BEFORE AWKWARDLY SHAKING HER HAND OH MY GOD. I'm freaking out, is it hot? No, it's cold, why am I sweating?? “Right, uh, y/n, y/n y/ln. It's really nice to meet you.” It's really nice to meet you? Did I really have to put the really, whatever i can't go back in time. “You too, mind if I stick around for a bit?” YES, wait yes what the fuck is happening why do I feel this way? “Yeah no problem.” I say like a fool, I don't usually overthink things like this. Or do I? Have I just not noticed? Huh, whatever. 

The night goes on, and my heart doesn't slow down, the odd feelings in my stomach continue as she talks to me, and asks me a couple questions. It feels like the night goes way too fast, and I find myself upset when it turns to 6am. Driving home all I can think about her, why? I think I just really want to be friends with her, probably, that's all it is. I get home and lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling, maybe this job won't be as bad as I thought it would be. 

The next day Vanessa doesn’t show up, maybe she never will. I also find out how creepy the pizzeria is and even though my life is practically in danger, I just keep wishing that I’d get to see her again, but just as friends though. Just friends. 

I pull into the parking lot of the pizzeria. Walking up in my goofy looking security vest, I sigh. Yesterday I was actually able to unlock the lock, after 10 minutes…but at least I got it. Ugh, time to try to unlock this for half of my shift. And just like I said, it's been 5 minutes and I still can’t get it. “Does it…go the other way or..” I mutter to myself, before I see headlights shining at me. SHES HERE. Oh god I feel like I shoulda put more effort into myself today, does my hair look okay. I zone out thinking about every possible thing that I could ever overthink, before finally getting snapped out of it by her. “Hey, need help with the lock again?” She says teasingly, grinning at me. Woah, my heart just went to the moon and back okay that's normal. “Uh yeah haha, still can’t seem to get it right.” She takes the key from me and just like before, unlocks it with ease, before handing the key back to me. “I'm gonna hang out again today, hope you don’t mind.” “Hah no, I don’t care, I enjoy the company.” Finally I said something without sounding like a 5 year old. 

We both walk into the pizzeria, without saying anything, as we are walking her hand brushes against mine, there it is again, that fuzzy feeling that only happens with her. Maybe I should google my symptoms. “So how's your day been?” She asks me, with a smile. “Oh, pretty good, better now that you're here haha.” I pause, DID I JUST SAY THAT, holy shit oh god what? What was I thinking?? “That's funny, I was going to say the same thing.” She says with a wink, before continuing to walk down the hall. Everything in my head was screaming at me, I had to remember that walking is something that you do if you wanna follow someone. So I started walking again, maybe I should ask her? She's a cop, she might know what's wrong with me.

We go over to the showtime area. “Hey, have you seen them perform yet?” “They perform?” “Yeah watch.” Vanessa presses the showtime button, and the animatronics jump into a song. I watch them with intent, probably the first thing I've thought about that wasn't Vanessa in 3 days. We both walk over to a booth and sit down, just watching and listening to them do their thing. “So this is cool isn’t it?” She asks, looking at me, I look over at her. That feeling again, I swear I'm having a stroke. “Y/N?” Yup this is a stroke why can’t I answer her? “Y-yeah, right, um yeah this is super cool.” I say looking down at the table, smiling and looking back at her. “Are you okay?” Vanessa asks me, looking genuinely worried.

I gulp and look at her nervously. “Um, not really? I don't know.” “You don't know? What do you mean what's going on?’’ She stands up and squats down in front of me, looking up at me. She takes my hands and holds them. I swear my heart just stops at that point. “Hey, talk to me, what's going on?” “Do you um” I clear my throat. “Do you ever get this weird feeling? Lately my heart has been beating faster than normally, and I'm really nervous and anxious and my stomach feels like it's being twisted up.” She looks at me, with those doe eyes of hers, with genuine care and worry. “And the weirdest part of it all, is it only happens around…well…you.” And with that, the worry on her face disappears into a softer one. She laughs and looks back up at me with a smirk. “Y/N have you ever had a crush before?” “A crush? What's that have to do with this, I’ve never had one before but I’ve heard- oh” And it finally clicks, all those movies i’ve seen are like this, a crush, I have a crush on her. Oh shit. I just admitted to her that I have a crush on her. As she watches me come to realization, I feel my face heat up. “Don’t start stressing yourself out, y/n, I like you too.” She says grinning and looking at me sympathetically. I’m still processing all of it, so I don’t really say anything for 10 seconds. “That's good, I um I like you too…a lot.” “Yup, I realized that.” She teasingly smirks at me. “So are we dating now?” I ask genuinely as she laughs again, standing up. “Wow, you really haven’t ever done this before huh? It’s cute, and yeah, we are dating, cmon.” Vanessa holds her hand out for me to take, and finally, it feels right. No more confusion, it feels right, being with her. I’m finally happy. With her :)

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hello everyone, today I'll do something never before seen on the flames and darkness liveblog which is read TWO chapters!! Idk man, i havent been able to read more than one chapter at a time recently because this book suddenly turned into such a slog to get through, although granted that might also just be my mental illness making it more difficult. whatever, i'll be in treatment for that next week

Anyway, today I'll be reading chapter 44 which is the star fall chapter, and chapter 45 which is. a chapter. Knowing this book series nothing of note is gonna happen in that one but that wont stop me from reading it

Chapter 44

Okay, theyre mentioning Feyre not looking so emancipated amymore and it made me remember all the weird weight shit from the start of this book. Like, she was losing weight because she was throwing up all the time and then not eating a lot and everyone was constantly remarking on that and it was unbelievably uncomfortable, but then when Feyre officially joined the night court and everyone immediately stopped talking about it, it almost feels a little manipulative, if that makes sense. Like, this book is ostensibly about Feyres healing journey but the Night Court cannot, under any circumstances, have anything negative associated with it so her trauma basically just disappears so we dont have to see the unpleasant parts of her recovery, she has one (1) nightmare after she starts living there permanently, one (1) moment where she feels too depressed to leave the bed and a few moment where she acts out but then immediately feels bad for it every time

Ughhhhh Feyre is wearing a dress for this which is really frustrating but you guys already know how I feel about that so shant go into that much more detail on this

I swear Im not just saying this to be a hater, Feyres dress sounds so tacky too

yoooooooo is Cassian implying he'd like to wear a tacky ass dress too??

and yet hes just wearing a BLACK TUNIC bro Feyre is literally covered in diamonds from head to toe so she can look like a shooting star or whatever and Cassian doesnt even have the decency to wear a black tunic that glitters or something?? Or hell, maybe even a red tunic to match his siphons, idk, give me SOMETHING im gonna tear my fucking hair out

Feyre is wondering about the IC being her friends and its like, girlie theyre barely even each others friends and youve known each other for maybe half a year to their 500 years

Feyre is describing Azriel hungrily staring at Mor's ass and it reminded me of that one bonus chapter Ive seen discussions about where he's really horny about Elain in a way thats pretty uncomfortable, and a lot of ex-Elriels say that it made them stop liking the idea of the ship because thats when they realized that SJM was just gonna mutilate both of their characters for the sake of smut, but honestly I dont think she would even need to mutilate Az that much

I could not give less of a shit about the Mor/Cassian/Azriel drama but I have to admit its kinda funny reading about Feyre speculating so much about Mor's relationships knowing shes gonna turn out to be interested in women

Mor says that Rhysand was very upset after she had sex with Cassian and beat him up as hard as he could (#incest) but she says he wasnt upset because of her virginity but because of the danger she put herself in by losing it, which is like, first of all that seems like splitting hairs, he was still upset that she lost her virginity even though that was none of his business. And second of all, I think it would actually make sense for him to have the kind of archaic sexist beliefs that would make Mor losing her virginity upsetting to him, considering he was also 17 when that happened just like Mor and Im guessing there wasnt anyone around to teach him feminism. or maybe hes so feminist he came out of the womb believing in womens rights and didnt need to be taught anything

god, the inner circle dynamics are so comically fucked up I have no idea how they can stand being around each other

Again, Im not much of a Feylin girlie but "Your hair looks... clean." >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "You look like a women again." (???? whats thag even supposed to mean)

So Rhysand is not wearing a black tunic, but he is wearing wearing a black jacket which is equally disappointing. atleast he has his tits out i guess

Rhysand was gone for 50 years and yet his best friends are not spending any time with him at their first party together since theyve been seperated, thats what i call friendship goals

Yeah, I guess its kinda sad that Rhys missed out on important holiday that meant a lot to him while undr the mountain but you know who else had to do that? Literally everyone that wasnt from the spring court

So he doesnt wanna tell his friends, who are by all accounts doing alright because theyve spent the past few decades trapped in a beautiful idyllic city, about his trauma but hes perfectly fine traumadumping on a twenty year old woman who just started to recover from her own trauma

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this bullshit where theyre getting covered in star spirits or whatever feels so joyless to me, like its not whimsical or fun to me

Okay so, Ive heard about Rhysand calling Feyre exquisite and it made me cringe just thinking about it, but it looks like theyve translated that to him calling her 'herrlich' which means the exact same thing but it sounds a lot less weird and bad. once again, thank you, Alexandra

Feyre really just said "You regret sexually assaulting me? But why?" huh

Chapter 45:

Okay, thats the end of the chapter but theres two more things that kinda annoyed me that I didnt feel the need to mention as I was reading. 1) Feyre kept going on and on aboht Rhysand being her friend, it felt so insincere, its like sjm say a post online right before she started writing this chapter that was like "in the best relationships, your partner isnt just your partner but also your best friend" and decided to put that sentiment in her book, and 2) I felt like there were so many moments towards the end of that chapter where Feyre is like "oh, ive never felt this way with anyone" and its very obviously alluding to how she didnt love Tamlin as much as she does Rhysand now, and it was just very strange to read, like Tamlin was haunting the narrative even though hes not even dead yet

Uhm. so i got really tired all of a sudden so I took a nap at this point and read some gay vampire fanfic to rejunivate myself and now Im ready for whatever happens in the next chapter

"I was a traitor. [...] Even though I oficially left Tamlin - it was only two months ago, after all. By Fae standards that was probably barely more than a day." Oh yeah, i havent been keeping track of the time thanks for reminding me that this story about immortals is moving at a breakneck pace for no goddamn reason. But also, as an author trying to write a grand long-lasting romance, why would you write this. I know Feysand are gonna get married at the end of book and now when I get to that point Im not gonna be thinking "wowwww such romance" Im gonna be thinking "damn these bozos did the fae equivalent of getting eloped in vegas after knowing each other for barely a week"

Oh, men of all ages are training at this camp? would you say some of them are. child-aged

Feyre is being all "its so cold here, im freezing in my illyrian leathers I cant imagine a child with no clothes surviving here for a single day, much less eight years" (referring to Cassian) and yet she doesnt spare a single thought to all the children who have to be at this camp as well because this is the camp that the batboys grew up in, its not like this is a different kind of camp where they dont train children

God I hate Feyre thinking about how fuckin powerful the batboys are especially because its like, Rhysand is literally their high lord, he already holds so much power over the guys running this camp we dont need a reminder that he could easily crush their minds or that his goons need more syphons to contain the totality of their power or whatever

I get that these guys are like, shitty misogynists or whatever, but I dont think Rhys throwing them out of the house they live in is some #boyboss move hes just being an asshole

Rhysand would never want to lock Feyre in a house for protection, but he does want to decapitate anyone who lays a hand on her which is soooooo much better

Rhysand keeps calling the.... "females" of this camp "girls" which implies one of two things: 1) hes talking about adult women, hes just calling them girls, which is not very feminist of our feminist king, or 2) hes talking about actual girls aka children which. thank god for our feminist king having equal-opportunity child soldiers

Its actually kind of surreal how theyre at the camp where the batboys spent their CHILDhoods and Feyre keeps talking about what it mustve been like for Cassian while the narrative is actively avoiding talking about children being at the camp at this present moment while also not outright stating "there are no kids here at this present moment"

"'[The clipping of the wings is] to ensure the safety of their women, they said.'" this reminds me of something @/kateprincessofbluewhales said in regards to Rhysand forcing illyrian women to train but not doing anything else to advance their rights, which is that the wing clipping mightve started as a way for men to help women dodge the 'draft' that seems to be mandatory for all healthy illyrians. I dont really have anything else to say about that, it just popped into my head and i thought it was interesting

Rhysand is talking about how at some of the camps, women are declared anti-marriage material if they train and how he cant do anything about that and its like, even if these women are not officially declared unmarriable or whatever, the misogynistic men that make up these camps are probably not gonna wanna marry a women who trains, so what difference does that really make

Also, he says the only thing he could do about 'laws' like that is to murder the warlords and take their children/trainees? under his wing and I guess he thinks he would have to do that for every camp that does that but honestly, I think just doing it once or twice would send a powerful enough message to discourage other warlords from being misogynistic. And he wouldnt have to raise all these children all by himself either, Im sure he could get the help of a few non-sexist men or even, gasp, some women. Like those priestesses living in that library Im sure some of the ones that have already recovered from their trauma somewhat wouldnt mind teaching some boys about the harm that misogyny does

Okay so the blood rite is called a Blutritual [blood ritual] in german which is a little confusing because a ritual is a pretty specific thing and I dont think the blood rite is that specific thing but whatever, it sounds cool enough

Ive said this before, I am not a Tamlin girlie, at best I prefer him to Rhysand, and I dont like or trust Rhysand at all, but imagine hearing that tragic story about how their families killed each other, leaving them as the only survivors and being like "I cant believe Tamlin killed Rhysands family!!" especially when its like, the only person Feyre actually knows Tamlin killed is Rhysands dad who sucked ass, its not exactly a great loss

I feel like i had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things in this chapter that I couldnt write down because theyre these abstract half-thoughts, so I think I'll let those marinate until theyre full thoughts and share them with you at some later date

[pbaz7]

you guys are so welcome btw (also THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AUTHOR ILY)

Azzi was the one she called

I know that's right!

It was 1:12 a.m.

they went from enemies to doing anything for each other real quick

Paige was already drenched in sweat

I know this is a sentence but I can just imagine it she's so hot

“What’s got you so riled up today?”

you probably

“They said I wasn’t efficient enough at finishing at the rim last year.”

who the fuck is they and where can I find them to beat them up

With a sigh, Paige gave in

what happened to bitchy Paige I kinda miss her (JK JK PLS DONT BRING HER BACK I HATE THE ANGST)

“Hm, maybe that’s why you don’t have a heart—you don’t eat ice cream.

wait she might be right

“She’ll have mint chocolate chip.”

this bitch is bossy damn okay

Paige stepped forward, sliding her card to the cashier first. “I got it,” she said simply.

YEP THATS RIGHT VERY GENTLEMANLY OF YOU

“You know, we still don’t really talk outside of the gym.”

ok so go scissor talk outside of the gym

“I don’t really know what to talk to you about outside of basketball,” she admitted, her voice honest, if a bit awkward.

this girl is acting like it's her whole life... oh wait

“I’m trying here. Just humor me.”

I'll do anything for you paige

her expression frozen for a second

I see what you did here author

“You’re ridiculous and you can’t sing.”

if only someone had told lil Paigey that

“It’s disgusting, I’ve tried it,” Azzi shot back.

then why'd you insist she got it lol

you have absolutely disgusting taste.”

and why is that... cuz she's not interested in you?

the distance between them felt much smaller, the tension nonexistent.

cutie girls

Azzi was Paige’s preference when it came to most things relating to anyone on the team.

wait stop they're adorable

She fully expected Paige to pick apart every missed shot or lost opportunity, but to her surprise, Paige didn’t say much. Instead, she-said, “Shake it off. Next one’s yours.”

okay wow I was not expecting that

you’re not gonna find your rhythm lying in bed

okay Paige clock her

“You’re not human, you know that?”

she might be a clone... but you might be a clone too so does it really matter?

finishing with only 8 points. By her standards, it was disastrous

I like that everyone forgets that 8 points is actually a great contribution to a score but ofc since it's Paige that doesn't apply

“What do you want, Azzi?” she asked curtly.

no need to get pissed after y'all literally just made up

“You don’t get it, Azzi!” she snapped

oh! okay then!

Cry me a river, Paige. Everyone has pressure. It’s part of the game.”

okay Azzi so im actually not on your side for once

“I was just starting to think you weren’t an asshole, but you really went and proved me wrong. Great job.”

azzi you're lowkey pissing me off right now

“You know, for someone who’s supposedly this incredible leader, you’re pretty terrible at letting people in. God forbid someone actually cares enough to check on you,”

girl please calm down ur making me mad

She had spent the last hour pacing back and forth in her own room, trying to figure out what to say

wait this poor baby I can't

Paige blurted out, “I’m really sorry, Azzi.”

hoe why is you apologizing

“I’ll, uh, go... somewhere,”

personally I'd go to the bordering room and hold my ear up to the wall

I’m not great at expressing my feelings and allat.

no way, really? I hadn't noticed!

You need to use your words,

author I swear you're putting these in to tempt me

just wanted to hoop and now I don’t really get a say in it.”

oh. okay. way to ruin the mood

Trust me, I get it, but it’s a whole different level for you.”

thank you azzi for apologizing in ur own way cuz im still a tad confused as to why p was apologizing but ok girl

Without waiting for an explanation, Aaliyah grabbed her phone and walked out

lili knows some shits going on

you’re stuck with me for the season, so you might as well get used to it."

this is the kind of pazzi I like to see

"That didn’t work, by the way. It was pitiful, and I felt bad for you."

or you're just down bad

There was a pause, then Aaliyah’s next text came through: "Hm."

LILI KNOWS TOO MUCH PLEASE

You’re just jealous of my vocal range."

lil azzi album coming soon?

Paige had unknowingly shifted in her sleep, her head resting lightly on Azzi’s lap.

unknowingly or subconsciously..

letting her hand rest on Paige’s side but not moving it.

I can feel the slow burn

a knowing grin spreading across her face.

Aaliyah knows more than azzi does LMAO

Don’t make it a thing.”

girl no one said it was... ur digging urself in a hole here

author ily for the double update and this chap

thank you for not making me want to punch the screen as much as usual

-🍉

ok so scissor is actually insane ✨

i MAY be putting a few double entendres in there on purpose but the rest are all you. azzi def was a lil mean to paige but hey maybe it’s what she needed she’s a lil stubborn.

ily and i love your reactions you deserve both sides of your pillow to be cold 🍉

[who-is-shades]

raz dnd 40

hi been a minute raz was getting bitches-

zen and teya move senna away from undynes body. parsley is gonna feed rouge an eyeball? wheatley is trying to collect and bury bodies. he yells at parsley for trying to feed them to rouge xD

teya cuts sennas hand with her dagger? yep still bleeding. we dont know how quickly lycantrophy takes place. "see you arent a monster yet!" "im always a monster." wheatley somehow hears this and smacks the back of her head xD

senna asks wheatley if he can turn some of that silver box into chains. and to use any leftover silver to make silver bullets. she knows they wont be able to kill her, but android would. he understands. wheatley looks at teya like wtf stop her.

senna asks when the next full moon is. currently waning at the moment, thanks sp. senna bonks her head on wheatleys shoulder and says their gonna be the death of her xD senna the attack wearwolf xD wheatley runs off to continue burying the bodies.

teya feels like shes being watched. the head of a scarecrow?! senna calls parsley and wheatley over cause fucking cirmes is around. teya huffs and storms over. its mostly destroyed and slowly looks at her. a broken path and broken bots. just a massive mess.

we find cirmes dismembered body?! senna and parsley notices some movement and draws her weapon. cirmes arm is just. sitting there. senna cauciously picks up the arm. it twitches! senna walks toward teya and says the arm is still alive?

teya sees the mask is sown to his face gross. she asks him what happaned. cirmes sighs and says he wishes they thought he was dead. he asks if we would put him together. teya agrees but she takes her skeleton back first lol. welp time to put him back together. he didnt expect teya to be so cooperative. wheatley puts one of the hands near rouge. senna says she might get a tummy ache.

android asks why all these bots came to kill him. he says it might be due to his current research. he came by interesting information. the death of gods. ancient writing. something dead but not quite.

The Primordials. Eternal Slumber. he wants to know why. escape deaths grasp. must be an important one if zorbolt wanted that info. the location?! the bots did get it after they tore him apart. robotgod is totally listening in lol.

"my heart doesnt beat anymore." "did it ever?" "good one." he was training the villagers here for doctors before the bots came. zen pulls out a map and cirmes gives us directions. he points to a very dark patch. a place of fire and lava. interesting. home to dragons? charred earth. senna and wheatley side eye each other lol.

parsley wants to play catch with his head xD SP asks for fetch XD rite of passage! wheatley takes the head away, parsley grabs it back. insanity i swear. teya casts gentle repose on him before handing him to parsley xD he wants to make cirmes catch his own head?!

senna pushes the body back together while wheatley plays keep away. teya directs the body toward the chaos xD head spiked to ground oof. senna picks up the head and takes it toward the body. parsley is clinging to him and senna comments on him being into dead guys. oh no he thanked us including parsley. fey rules.

senna asks if he knows anything about wearwolves. can he cure it? or test for it? he holds a glowing spherical stone that looks like a moon. he puts sennas blood on it. no reaction nice. senna slumps in relief. 'im too old for this shit.' he says parsley mightve gotten lycantrophy for fucking wearwolves xD

cirmes says he wouldnt mind teaching teya necromancy but she has absolute 0 interest whatsoever. zen is still communicating with god. most necromancers cirmes know are unpleasent lol. teya hopes they never meet again. wheatley and senna go to take care of the bodies.

teya goes to punch a tree xD taking a page from sennas book! parsley is just standing there lol. senna and wheatley are digging a big pit. been a long day lol. android is of no use lol. dumping the bodies in time. senna has to keep using presti to clean the blood. android sighs and tosses in bodies.

parsley tells teya that cirmes owes him so if she can think of anything let him know lol. teyas upset cause cirmes is a chump. she wants to burn his house down lol. oh no. guys why is it always arson. what do you mean fireball?!

teya instantly uses hidden step. senna sighs and says they should go check since they can hear the explosion. cirmes rapidly tries to save his research. wheatley uses absorb element to absorb the fire. wheatley says hes gonna hit teya with this. he uses the token to find her. parsley grabs teya and runs! senna just sits on a box shes done for the day lol. she DOES haste wheatley tho xD

he hits her in the stomach for 13 points of damage branding punch wtf. then immediately uses cure wounds xD he yells at her for being reckless. 'you done?' he just screams and berates them. he doesnt want to lose them. she huffs and walks off. he follows her. she hidden steps. he sprints back to the house. she hides up in a tree.

parsley asks senna where their gonna set up camp. not here in town man. senna tells him to find a good spot while she keeps burying the bodies. finished nice. senna says a prayer and goes to find parsley. camp time nice. teya falls out of the tree xD senna asks if shes hurt. wheatley uses cure wounds anyway xD

"ok dipshits this way." "following king dipshit." time for soup! parsley fucks off into the woods jesus christ. zen tells us robotgod is rerouting us cause he wants to check out the dragon region. the body of a primordial is very valuable, although its still alive just asleep. it fell asleep since it lost all of its followers. primordials can walk the land but normal gods arent like wtf. maybe zorbolt wants to turn it into a battery.

sennas big plan to try and do her dragon training is make them come to her. mountain full of gold, field full of fat cows and stuff, dragon warriors that worship the dragon. he seems to like the gold. senna walks up with her bitchin dragon knights. he puffs smoke in her face lol she kinda deserves that. she changes herself to look more dragony with wings and shit. they both proceed to breathe fire at each other. the knights rush in.

senna starts getting enveloped by her own sent back and its getting hot. everyone can see her dragon features growing irl since she basically gave herself an offering. 'ok wanna be a dragon be a dragon.' more scales bigger tail. she coughs up some smoke. she has claws, slit eyes and TINY WINGS FUCK YEAH. senna goes into a tent to alter her dress so the wings have breathing room.

"be honest. how bad does it look." they say she looks cool but probably not good for her. she turns around to show off the longer tail and wings. she tries smacking wheatley a bit with the tail. zen gives her a sleeping potion cause she really needs it lol. how does she sit with that tail?!

[tonydaddingham]

✨ episode 4 - running commentary✨

- I'm not ready for this no no no no no DEEP BREATH ok let's go

- I will just say actually that ep3 has turned it around for me, like 100% and it is SO MUCH BETTER on tv than on the bigger screen, the screenings were fun but a Mistake

- anyWAY

- LESI???

- ok literally a hitchhiker lmao @theeminentlyimpractical wins this round HAHAH JTS SHAX JAHAHA mood swing

- oh my god i want them to be friends in an AU fuCK SHE WORKED IT OUT AZIRAPHALE LMAO

- BAD SHAX HE IS ✨EXACTLY✨ HIS TYPE fucking BEAT HER ASS AZZY

- lmao aziraphale???? YOU SLY DOG????

- this has to be a fuck moment right aziraphale? az?? CMON SWEAR YOU DUMBASS BITCH

- honestly aziraphale if it turns out furfur is an ex we need to have cocktails bbygirl tell me EVERYTHING YOU DIRTY HOE

- 40S MINISODE ARGHJ🚨🚨🚨🚨

- lmao walking dead au when, they really did end up down there huh I mean foregone conclusion but this gives me LIFE

- idc about hell I need the BOYS I need the dinner of motherfucking 41

- all the Nazis lmao get shredded bitches

- furfur lol this is doomed to failure

- DAVID TENNANT ON FIRE FUCK YES

- aziraphale stop trying to offer him a handy I'm sorry but you need to TONE IT DOWN you nearly got blown up NOW IS NOT THE TIME offer him a blowy LATER

- no I'm sorry but Mrs h???? FUCKING GET THEM GIRL THEYRE MY BABIES BUT INEPT AF

- THE SHOT THE CROWLEY PICTURE FUCK

- this is so much better than I could have ever predicted NEIL YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARd

- AHHHHHH AM I ABOUT TO BE RIGHT ABOUT THE 40S MINSODE DID I PREDICT THS???? DO THEY KISS????💓✨ IS THERE A 🚨MOMENT🚨

- also lmao the dinner is after the show??? idk let's see

- IM SWEATIN SO HARD THIS KS SO GOOd

- fucking HOWLING at the Nazi trio hahaha Steve pemberton is *the* moment lmaooooo

- OOP NO DINNER DINNER NOW??? Also lmao 'friends' I bet that BURNED Michael's mouth to FUCK

- crowley's face I'm DYING aziraphale you're so SILLY

- fuck me im so whipped for 40s Crowley and his lil jazzy wazzy hands

- THE WAY HE FLIRTS FUCK OFF GO AWAY CROWLEY stop buttering him up HES ABOJT TO JUMP YOU BUD

- ahhh magic shop!!!!!✨✨✨

- I know we said that aziraphale has the patience of a saint but I take it back Crowley is still an angel I'm convinced of it

- aziraphale literally has no self preservation I love him

- "leave the miracles to us" snarky ass bitch

- AHHHH HE TRUSTS CROWLEY FUCK YES the way he grabs his MF HAND no I'm done now

- DID I CALL CROWLEY BEING A VOLUNTEER IN A FUCKINF SHITPOST my GOD

- aziraphale you are a disaster

- I FUCKING CALLED IT HAHAHA this is my win ill tAKE IT CROWLEY CALLED AS A VOLUNTEER HAHAHA

- oh my god someone drag him off stage pLEASE

- GRITTED TEETH "NEITHER ARE MINE HEHE" hahahaha

- HE LITERALLY HAS TO TRUST CROWLEY UGH THIS IS 4AM GIRL DINNER ✨💓

- Cmon Crowley you can do it bbygirl💓💓💓💓

- HE DID IT

- here we GO THE DRESSING ROOM SCENE YES

- no fuck off furfur they need to snog go away OH MY GOD THEY KNEW EACH OTHER, jealous AZIRAPHALE?????

- "AZIRA-FALALALALA"

- oh I'm living for the zombies I love them

- lmao that photo hahahaha

- FUCK AZIRAPHALE YOU ARe so goOD AT MAGIC AND SLEIGHT OF HAND IM SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU you saved yourselves YES

- DINNER DINNER DINNER

- NOW KISS

- NOW

- "retire the act"

- OH MT FOD THIS IS SO SOFT??????? FUCKINF HELL

- BLUR THE MF EDGES

- THE WIIIIIIINE

- wait no come back u need to kiss now no

- fucking cockblocked by a scene change fuCK

- NO SHAX YOU BITCH NO LEAVE THEM ALONE LEAVE THEM ALOOOOOONNEEEEEE

- PLEASE

- yes beelzebub NO BEELZEBUB lol another mood swing

- annnnnd he's back home💓💓💓

- I KNEW AZIRAPHALE WAS BENTLEY'S FAVE get shitted on crowley

- he's MOVING BACK IN???? INTK RHE BENTLEY???? CROWLEY TOU ARE SO STUPID BABES

- "a night to REMEMBER" lmao it BETTER BE

Oh no it's the ball episode next I BETTER GET THAT KISS but also an explanation for "u go too fast for me Crowley" bc that did NOT explain it

[foxonfier]

i swear to god i had a post about pink floyd's the wall but now i can't find it. i feel like i'm going crazy ( i probably am! ) but anyway. been listening to this album on repeat, it is such a genuine banger, the story slaps and there is something genuinely so disturbing about it all. esp the second half of each side, anything past young lust actually ?? kills me??? and then in the flesh & beyond are just insanely fucked. ‘one of my turns’ and ‘don't leave me now’ are some of my favorite tracks on this album; they're so disturbing in their own right ( one of my turns going into an almost playful, sarcastic insinuation of violence -- while don't leave me now explicitly states the violence pink would like to commit against his wife, specifically ) and there's just! so much emotion and tension teeming in these songs. i love the slow build up in one of my turns, pink just completely snapping as he destroys everything in sight, this song just. ugh. UGH! his soft, melancholic voice growing into something frenzied and screaming, voice literally breaking and wavering with how unhinged he is. that screamed “oh no!” gets me EVERY TIME. it's so good. all of the emotion you can get from the singing alone is just.... truly insane. “in the suitcase on the left you'll find my favorite axe!” is my favorite line in this song because it's soooo. UGH THAT IMPLIED VIOLENCE !! like yes he's talking about a guitar but the word ‘axe’ is still used because pink has these fantasies of committing horrific violence against people. as we see in the next song, which.... i truly do love so much, the heavy breathing in the background accompanied by the deep piano, pink's heartbroken and angry voice..

obviously the threats of violence get a lot more explicit here; talking about putting his wife through the shredder, literally says he wants to beat her to a pulp on a saturday night. it's so horrific. shifting all of his blame on to her, his shaken and screaming “oh, babe” ?!?? god it's just phenomenal. the story is so fucked and you get all of these different emotions, not only from the character but from the instrumentals, the lyrics, you as the listener ... so many different factors combining together to create such a heart wrenching story on literally all sides. then pink smashes the shit out of a tv and screams in rage <3 this man and his violence. then he's like alright im isolating! bye! and obvs who doesn't love comfortably numb? but i think hearing it in the context of this album adds an entirely new layer to it, bc he's like... so fucked he's getting shot with a drug to go perform this concert, then he imagines himself turning into a neo-nazi and killing people for the next three songs. btw when i saw brit floyd they reenacted the scene from comfortably numb where pink is sitting basically lifeless in the chair and the doctor injects him to snap him out of it. it was SOOOOO GOOD. i'm like yes brit floyd this is why you're the best pf cover band ever. anyway. will probs have more thoughts on this amazing album tomorrow esp once the adderall kicks in wooo. might even try my hand at writing this insane man? who knows the world is my oyster

[dirt-grub]

Also while I was at the store there was a woman who was carrying a lot in her arms and I have her a little basket and she was like so surprised she was like oh you’re so sweet!!!!! And it made me very happy :3

[vance-e]

My Idiot

pairings: vance hopper x Fem!reader

warnings: (name) fighting, blood, violence, vance being cute/soft with (name), swearing, vance cleaning the reader up, mention of past (abuse) for like 5 sec

Fandoms: The black phone x IT 2017

|1|  |2|

Gif not mine>>> transjohnny

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_

I saw (name) walk into the grab n go. I wont say this outloud but i hate a crush on (name) and whenever she walks into a room i seem to freeze up and cant move. She makes me feel giddy? i guess, i told my “friend” to take over while i go and “grab” something but i actually want to talk to (name). In the past i have tried to talk to her but I can't because i always freeze up or she sees me fighting someone. 

I don’t like it when she sees me fighting somebody because it makes me think that she won’t like me if she sees me fighting with someone. I didn't even know that she knew how to fight until today. I saw her walk out before i could even talk to her. So i just left it and went back to my game until i heard something.

“you fucking asshole” i heard the boy scream at me, he had blood running down his nose. But he deserved it, he was talking shit about my brother. Henry bowers is my brother, the bully in derry. I know he can handle himself but i still don’t like it. I have had a pretty shitty life and henry was the only one who helped me with it. Our dad was abusive after our mother left, he was an alcoholic and was an officer. After what we have been through i wasn’t going to let some 5″4ft  motherfucker talk shit about my brother.

I walked outside to see (name) and some random boy fighting. (name) was winning, she was straddling him while punching him in the mouth, a crowd was surrounding them so i couldn’t see what happened next until i heard a lot of people gasp at something. I pushed them out of the way and saw the boy knocked out. And (name) on the other side of him wiping the blood away.

She had a busted lip, and bloody knuckles and her head had blood coming down it. I heard the police sirens down the road and saw everyone scattering making it look like they weren't watching. I grabbed (name) and ran to an alleyway hiding so the cops wouldn’t take her.

I felt somebody pick me up which i didn’t realize until i was in a alleyway with the one and only Vance hopper. I have heard of him before because my brother fought him. I did find attractive though, his long blond curly hair god I'm whipped. Wait that's right i’m still hurt and hiding from the cops.

“are you okay ”I said looking at her looking where her knuckles are bruised, “ I will go get something cold for your knuckles and be back, stay here okay?” i said while running off to find some ice or something cold” i said while running off to find a vending machine. I Felt weird because i have never been this soft to somebody before. I found a coke vending machine. I ran back with a coke and put it on her knuckles. I heard her hiss and it made me feel guilty “ im sorry, i know it’s going to hurt but its not going to swell up if you let it stay there” i spoke softly to hear so she wouldn't get scared.

“Why are you helping me?” i heard her say, i looked at her confused then started to feel hot “ um- well t- the cops were coming and i didn’t want you to g-go in their” i said stuttering a bit because of how nervous she makes me. “but my brother fought you, why would you help me? the sister of henry bowers” she said while looking up at me. I was shocked to hear that she was henry bowers sister because he was the only one i couldn’t beat. He knocked me out and gave me a massive headache for the last week. “ your not like your brother (name) that’s why i helped you” i said while looking down at her. “Thank you vance” she said smiling at me 

I didn’t like henry. but goddamn his sister was something else. And i wasn’t going to stop until she’s mine

-vance-e

[mackenzielovee]

letters to you: six - rafe cameron

summary: everyone is haunted by something, even in pure bliss

warnings: swearing, cigarette smoking, alcohol

wc: 4.8k

a/n: hi!!! so excited about this one and hope you guys enjoy it! as always, let me know what you think :) p.s let me know if my taglist works or not, it seems tumblr updated and im not confident it's working :/ thanks !!

series masterlist

It’s Tuesday when Rafe’s letter arrives. You’re sitting on the couch with your laptop on your lap, a blanket wrapped around your body, and a textbook open on the cushion beside you. Your glasses rest too far down your nose, unwilling to remain where they should. You push them up just as Emma walks through the front door, sending her backpack flying into the living room without a care in the world.

“Fuck that class,” she grunts, making way straight into the kitchen.

“What happened?” you stifle out a laugh, but feel bad when she instantly turns and narrows her eyes at you.

“If I had your brilliant mind, I could pass it,” she says, pointing a finger at you, “You read and all that. I have an idea!”

“I’m not doing your homework for you,” you lecture, pushing your glasses up once more.

“Shit,” she groans, “Come on. You’d learn so much in Gender and Literature.”

“I’m learning plenty in the four classes I’m juggling already.”

“That’s fair,” she mutters.

You laugh and return to your homework while Emma makes tea, then brings you a mug full without you even having to ask for it.

“Thank you,” you say to her.

She nods and collapses in the chair across from the couch, raising her nose up at you as she takes in your current state.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asks.

“I’m trying to knock out all my assignments so I don’t have to bring my laptop home with me,” you explain.

Your eyes remain on the screen, but you feel warm under her gaze. You can tell out of the corner of her eye that she’s grinning, but you don’t have the confidence to meet her stare.

“Have you told him you’re coming?”

“No,” you reply, “I’m waiting on his response to the letter I mailed Sunday.”

“Do you want me to go check the box?”

Your eyes shoot up from your screen to her. She’s already standing, mug still in hand.

“Do you really want me out of the apartment that badly?” you tease her.

“No!” she exclaims, “Oh, God, of course not. I just – I know you’re excited to see him and hear from him and all. I’ll just go check it. Be right back.”

You let her go, assuming there will be no letter because you’d checked an hour ago and found nothing. Just as you truly get back into your work, Emma enters through the front door again.

“Y/N, it’s a whole ass envelope,” she calls.

You furrow your eyebrows and look up, finding a large, yellow envelope in her hands. She tosses it to you, and you note how it’s heavy. Immediately, you smile, because you know what it is.

“What? Why do you look like that?” she questions.

“He sent me a book.”

Emma’s eyes widen sarcastically, “Wow. Good work, Rafe Cameron.”

“Shut up,” you laugh as you tear open the package.

Inside is the white envelope you’d been expecting, and when you tip it over completely, a beat up looking copy of Pride and Prejudice falls onto your lap. You flip through it absentmindedly, but your eyes catch on something inside. Pencil marks from where Rafe had written in the margins.

“Oh, my God,” you murmur.

“What? Did he stick a pic of himself in the book?” Emma climbs onto the couch, obnoxiously close and glancing over your shoulder.

“No, you creep,” you laugh and push her away, “Would you like it if he did?”

“Well, yeah. Rafe Cameron’s hot,” she shrugs, “But, he’s yours. Relax.”

You just shake your head at her, then move your eyes back to his writing. It’s messy and some of it is a little faded, but it’s so Rafe.

You open the letter next, letting his handwriting steady your heartbeat as you take in the length of his letter.

Y/N,

I’m not really in the business of missing people. I’m not close with my family, I have a few friends I see every now and then, but I’ve never actually missed someone before. Imagine my surprise with you. I enjoyed your company so much this weekend, and believe me, I’m so glad I didn’t chicken out.

I can’t imagine what that type of impact that sort of pressure can have on you long term. I bet it’s difficult. You shouldn’t have to feel like you have to prove yourself as worthy of love or attention from anyone, let alone some stupid frat guy. He couldn’t hold a candle to your brilliance anyway. Don’t put any thought into people like that. Although, I am relieved to hear that you don’t feel that pressure with me. I’m glad, because what a shame it would be to not get to experience you the way I do.

Thanks for telling me how you feel. It’s nice to know we’re on the same page. I feel very lucky that you saw through my “facade” as you so gently said. Thanks for that. And trust me, I think about that night all the time, too. Especially that dress you were wearing. I’d have done anything you asked of me. Swear.

I put in my old copy of Pride and Prejudice. It’s got some notes in it, I hope you don’t mind. I’m sure you have a copy, but you told me you were going to re-read it, and I like the idea of you reading mine.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say. I hope your week is going well. You’re beautiful.

Sincerely,

Rafe

You’re grinning like an idiot by the time you’re through with the letter. You’re already thinking about what you want to say back, then diving into the book, when you realize Emma’s still in the room.

“You should see your face right now,” she scoffs, “I’ve never looked at Ethan like that. Then again, the nicest thing he’s done for me is bring a bottle of Henny over before we go out. Maybe you could get Rafe Cameron to talk to him.”

You laugh, wondering if she’ll ever stop calling him by his full name. Emma wanders into her room after a while, claiming she needs a nap and leaving you to finish your homework in peace. Because you want to see Rafe this weekend. Even if it means a few long nights.

Rafe,

So, I’ve been thinking about something. I’m going to come home this weekend. If the offer still stands, I’d love to see you while I’m there. I wasn’t really planning on seeing my parents, but if it’s too soon of a warning or anything, it’s totally okay. I can stay with them and maybe we can just see each other one day while I’m there. I miss you, too, and I’d really like to see you this weekend. But don’t be rearranging plans or anything. If you have other obligations, that’s really okay.

Thank you so much for your copy of Pride and Prejudice. I love the annotations in there and I can’t wait to see your thoughts in further detail. Although, I’m not sure I will agree with them. I’m starting tonight.

Have you gotten far into the book I gave you? We’ll have to talk about it when I see you. Sometimes it can be hard to write exactly how you feel, because you can get tired of writing. Or feeling. I’m not sure.

Let me know about this weekend. I have been thinking about it nonstop since you left, really, and I just want to know if it’s possible to see you. We’ll talk soon, I’m sure.

Take care,

Y/N

You mail the letter on Wednesday. The rest of the day is just class, homework, and cooking dinner, all while you wonder where your words are now. You’re sure they’ll make it to Rafe by tomorrow.

On Thursday evening, your phone rings. It’s not expected, but when you see his name, you smile and hurry into your bedroom, closing the door so Emma doesn’t listen.

“Hello?”

“Are you serious?” he questions immediately.

You furrow your brows, “What?”

“You’re coming home?”

He sounds hopeful, but also like he’s hesitant. You smile wider than you think you ever have in your life, nodding slowly even though he can’t see you.

“I mean, yeah,” you say shyly, “If you’re free.”

“Y/N, hell yes, I’m free,” he scoffs, “Are you kidding?”

You laugh and collapse on your bed, feeling calmer just from hearing his voice. You’ve missed it in a way that almost doesn’t make sense to you.

“Good. I’ll be in tomorrow,” you inform him.

“I’ll pick you up at the port,” he volunteers.

“Rafe, you don’t have to. I can get an Uber–”

“You’re not getting an Uber. Stop. I’ll be there. You just have to let me know what time.”

“It’ll be about four,” you say.

You check the time, seeing that’s less than twenty-four hours from now. He inhales sharply, and you can just picture him staring at his watch as he presses his phone to his ear.

“So, you’re saying I have less than twenty four hours to get my apartment ready for you?”

He’s teasing and you know it, but your heart sinks. You don’t want him to feel like he has to host you or entertain you, or feel like you’re burdening him.

“No, you really don’t have to do anything, I mean, I can stay with my parents–”

“I’d really like it if you stayed with me,” he stops you, “But if you’d feel more comfortable with them, I get that.”

The conversation grows silent for a minute as you consider. Of course you want to stay with Rafe. You want to see him in the morning when he’s just woken up, you want to watch TV with him until two in the morning and not worry about getting home. You just don’t want to be in his way. Ultimately, you decide, you’re not going to be.

“I’d love to stay with you, Rafe. As long as you’re sure it’s okay.”

“Y/N, it’s more than okay,” he laughs incredulously, “I can’t think of anything I’d like more, actually.”

You grin, “Okay then. Four o’clock tomorrow.”

“I’m counting down,” he tells you, “Travel safe. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” you whisper, “Bye, Rafe.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

Emma let you get on the ferry only after going through the mental checklist of everything you could possibly need three separate times. Then, she hugs you and makes you promise to update her when you can. You just nod along, then give her a hug and tell her you’re going to be late. Reluctantly, she blows you a kiss and waits until the ferry leaves to head back.

Pride and Prejudice keeps you entertained for the entire two hour ferry ride, and you barely even notice it’s time to get off until the intercom tells you so.

You mark your place in Rafe’s book, then grab your bag and stand up. Your mind is running wild, but at the same time, you feel calm. You know he’s waiting for you, looking handsome as ever, and it’ll make you melt right there on the dock.

Once you’re off the ferry, it takes you approximately five seconds to spot him in the small crowd of people waiting a safe distance away from the water. He’s smoking a cigarette and leaning against a wooden post, staring up at the sky and watching his smoke disappear. The second your eyes land on him, it’s like he can feel it. He stands up straight and grins when he sees you, crushing the cigarette under his foot instantly. You can’t help the smile that breaks out on your face, or the fact that you move a little bit faster to get to him.

“Hi, Rafe,” you greet, arms opening when his own attempt to welcome you. He wraps himself around you and squeezes you tight, unwilling or unable to let go right away.

“Hey, honey,” he says against your head, “Glad you made it safely.”

His scent, now so familiar to you, comforts you as you bury your head into his chest. You don’t miss how his lips graze over the top of your head, pressing over so lightly into your hair that you’re not even completely sure it happened.

After a minute, you move your head up and rest your chin on his sternum, staring up at him comfortably. You’re sure you have a giddy smile on your face, but so does he, so you don’t mind.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he laughs down at you.

“You smell good,” you shrug against him, “And I’m happy.”

He grins widely then, and as you stare up at him and his gorgeous smile, all you want to do is kiss him right here. Right in front of the tourists and the locals who had gone off the island for the day.

“Me too,” he says quietly.

His eyes gloss over as he stares down at you, confirming that he’s thinking the same thing you are. Ultimately, you decide that your first kiss with Rafe shouldn’t be right out in the open, and you pull back from him slightly.

He wraps his hand around yours and lifts your bag from your shoulder, placing it on his own as he leads you to the parking lot.

“Did you read?” he asks you.

“I did. The annotations are my favorite part.”

He stifles out a laugh, but you can tell the way his shoulders rise that he’s slightly embarrassed by the annotations he’d made.

“I was a little more cynical back then,” he says.

“When did you read it?”

He stops you at his truck, tossing your bag in the backseat with the free hand he has. He squeezes your hand and then pulls you closer, not too much, but just enough that it makes both of you smile.

“I was nineteen,” he tells you, “I was taking some classes online and I had to read it for this paper I had to write. I hated it.”

“You hated it?” you raise a brow.

“Big time,” he smiles, “I even tried all those websites with free summaries, but my essay sounded so shitty that I knew if I wanted the grade, I actually had to read the book.”

“Look at you now,” you tease.

He grins and pulls you even closer, seemingly unable to keep you away from his chest now that he’d felt you there once.

“I’m so damn glad I read that book.”

You grin, squeezing his hand before you pull back from him. When he looks down at you, there’s almost a sense of disbelief that he’s got you in his grip right now; that you’re here, and that he’d gotten to come pick you up.

His eyes rake over all of your features meticulously, like he’s trying to memorize you before you evaporate in front of him. He lets his eyes fall to your chest only for a moment, and you don’t miss the way he swallows as he looks back up at you.

You watch him, feeling lightheaded, as he slowly angles his head and leans himself down. He’s keeping eye contact with you, never faltering or falling away. As much as you want this right now, at this moment, you know you can’t. Someone who knows your parents could be here, ready to call and tell them they saw you getting off the ferry. The thought of your dad knowing you were home and didn’t tell him breaks your heart in half.

When you pull back from him, keeping a light expression on your face, Rafe pulls away.

“Sorry,” he mumbles and straightens his posture.

“No, Rafe, it’s okay,” you say, squeezing his hand, “I’m just worried someone will see me. Maybe we should go.”

You don’t miss the way his jaw clenches at your statement, but before you can question it, he nods and drops your hand. Silently, he opens the passenger door for you and closes it once you’re in the truck, then hurries to the driver’s side and climbs in.

The smile he’d given you when you got off the ferry is gone. You cross your arms over your chest as a defense, not sure what exactly had changed. Just because you wouldn’t kiss him for the first time in front of other people, he’s frustrated? It doesn’t make sense to you.

He flips on the radio after a few minutes of dead silence in the car, one hand draped loosely over the steering wheel and another sitting on the arm rest, flipping through channels. When he isn’t satisfied with any of them, he turns it off again.

“Rafe,” you say slowly, “I’m sorry if I upset you–”

“It’s fine,” he replies, doing his best to keep his voice even ,”I get it. I mean, I don’t have the greatest reputation around here or anything.”

You look over at him, and he watches the road. You uncross your arms from your chest and look down at his free hand lazily wrapped around the gear shift. A major part of you is telling you to take it, to try your best to understand what Rafe’s feeling.

“What are you talking about?” you question him.

He clenches his jaw, looking as if he’s fighting a huge urge to look over at you. His hand flexes on the gear shift, and while it’s subtle, you notice it.

“I was a fucking asshole back then, I know I was. That seems to be all people know about me. Or want to know, anyway. So, I get why you don’t want people on the island seeing me all over you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you.”

You suck in a deep breath, unsure of where to start to explain to him that that wasn’t the reason why you’d pulled back. Of course it wasn’t. A part of you can’t even believe he’d think that of you. Another part of you knows it’s not actually about you at all, it’s his insecurities coming out to play.

“Can you pull over, please?” you request.

He doesn’t question you, doesn’t look over at you. He simply does what you ask, pulling off the road and into the grass, then puts his truck in park.

He swallows and you watch as he decides whether or not he wants to look at you. His hands clasp together in his lap, fiddling to help rid some of his anxiousness, you’re sure.

“Look at me,” you practically whisper.

His eyes flicker up to you at your demand, moreso because you’re usually so polite and passive that he doesn’t expect such an assertive request from you.

“Y/N, seriously, it’s fine–”

“No, it’s not. I didn’t pull away like that because I was afraid someone would see me with you. I was afraid someone would see me. I didn’t want my parents finding out that I’m home if I don’t tell them or go see them, and I was afraid one of their friends or someone from the Club might’ve been down there. I was being overly cautious. It had nothing to do with you, Rafe. I’m sorry. I should’ve made that more clear.”

He stares into your eyes with regret, watching as you silently beg him for forgiveness. With the little time you have with him, you don’t want it to be tainted by misunderstandings. He sighs after a minute and shakes his head, directing the movement at himself more than you.

“Shit,” he mutters, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” you tell him, reaching for his hand.

He turns it on top of the gear shift so you can wrap your fingers around his, making him smile.

“Yes, I do. Regardless of the reason why you pulled away, I shouldn’t have acted like an asshole.”

You want to tell him you know he’s just insecure about something, and whatever it is, you’ll care for him regardless. However, you can tell he’s already beating himself up, and the last thing you want to do is add onto that by admitting that you’ve read him and you know there’s something deeper at play. Trusting that he’ll tell you if and when he’s ready, you just squeeze his hand instead.

“It’s okay. I really wanted to, though.”

He smiles, a hint of teasing in his eyes as he speaks, “Wanted to what?”

You stutter out a laugh, squirming under his gaze. He chuckles, but he’s relentless in the way you expect him to be, wanting you to say it. After a minute, you purse your lips and ignore the nervousness swirling around in your stomach, the heat spreading across your body.

“I really wanted to kiss you, Rafe,” you tell him quietly.

You’re never sure what to expect from him. Normally, you’d find that unsettling about a person, but with Rafe, you know that regardless of his reaction, you’ll never feel upset or humiliated. Which, you know, is the only reason why you tell him what he wants to hear.

Furthering your hypothesis, Rafe laughs and nods his head, then releases your hand so he can put the truck in drive. You collapse into your seat, watching him watch the road.

“That can be arranged,” he replies once he has his smile under control.

You laugh from beside him and hope that he’s right.

Rafe’s apartment building looks just as you remember it. He holds your hand all the way from the parking lot up to his apartment door, all the while carrying your bag. You can feel your nerves pulsing at the thought of seeing the inside of Rafe’s apartment; how he lives, where he eats, the place he writes to you. The place he spends most of his time, when he’s not working. He pulls his keys from his pocket without releasing your hand, then unlocks the door. The apartment is dark when the door opens, and Rafe guides you in first by your hand.

“It’s not much,” he warns as he flips on the light in the entryway.

You ignore him with a wave, releasing his hand as you step further inside. It’s an extremely open concept; you walk right into the kitchen off the front door and you can see the living room from there, too. There’s a door off the living room on one side and a door off the other, which you assume to be the two bedrooms he’d referred to.

The first thing you notice is how it’s exactly what you’d expect from Rafe. He has nice furniture, a television hanging on the opposite wall as the couch, and a bookshelf that’s packed to the brim with books. You can also see the sliding glass door that leads out to his balcony – the place he so famously named as the spot where he writes to you.

He stands in the kitchen with his arms and legs crossed, leaning up against the counter and perfectly content to let you take in everything about his home. You smile timidly at him and move closer, wanting to explore the kitchen next.

It’s pretty typical, again what you’d expect from him. When your eyes catch on the stack of stuff sitting beside his sink, you furrow your eyebrows. His home is so clean, that leaving out a big pile of stuff seems odd for him. When you move closer, however, you realize what it is.

There’s two bottles of white wine hidden behind everything, and upon further inspection, you recognize the group of ingredients spread out in front of you. It’s absolutely everything you need to make snickerdoodles. Everything clicks for you right then, causing a huge grin to spread across your face. When you turn around to him, eyes almost as wide as your smile, he’s already close.

“I realize it’s awfully seventeenth century of me to ask a woman into my home and then have her bake for me, but I was hoping–”

“Yes,” you blurt, “I promised you I would, and I will.”

He grins and laces his fingers through yours, then carefully guides you backward until your back hits the countertop. He’s so close, that seems to be all you can think about. Your mind buzzes with his proximity, how good he smells, how you hope he doesn’t waste another second. His smile transforms into a smirk as he sees the expression on your face, you’re sure your want for him is written all over it.

He pauses right as his nose brushes over yours, ever so meticulous with his timing.

“Would you like some wine?” he practically whispers.

You smile, “Are you teasing me?”

“A little.”

Surprising him as much as yourself, you rise up on your tiptoes to meet his mouth. He adjusts in about half a second, using his free hand to cup your cheek and hold you to him. He keeps the kiss gentle, both of you only just wanting to feel each other.

Even with his tenderness, you feel lightheaded right away. There was something about the whiskey in his scent that you could never pinpoint, but now, you swear you can taste it. Cinnamon whiskey and smoke. That is Rafe Cameron.

Neither of you make any effort to deepen it, but you don’t make any effort to stop, either. You’d bet it’s been almost two entire minutes before he pulls back to let you breathe, an astounded look on his face.

“Shit,” he mumbles, already eyeing your lips, “You okay?”

“Mhm,” you hum.

You give him the same look he’s giving you, and before you know it, his mouth is back on yours. It’s like a floodgate has been opened; once you two innocently touched the first time, it set the wheels in motion for everything to follow. You don’t mind a bit. Nothing you’ve done in the past twenty-one years has felt even remotely close to how this feels.

It clicks right then. There’s feelings involved here. Out of all the men you kissed – all being four – you’d never felt the same with them as you do with Rafe. Not even close.

Rafe lets out a groan and breaks the kiss, guiding your head into his chest as he catches his breath.

“That’s–” he starts, then inhales and exhales before he tries again, “I– You have to believe me when I tell you I didn’t just want you here so we could do that.”

You laugh, letting your hand grip onto his shirt as you remain pressed against his chest.

“I know,” you say, “But it’s a plus.”

He guides your head off of him after a minute so he can look at you. Puffy pink lips, dilated pupils, and a smile tugging at each end of your mouth. You’re sure that’s what you look like, because he looks the exact same.

“You’re beautiful, honey. Do you know that yet?”

You let out a small scoff and shake your head, “Rafe, stop.”

“No,” he replies, guiding you back into his chest and wrapping his arms around your figure, “I’ll just have to keep telling you until it sticks.”

“I don’t see a problem with that,” you reply, hiding your smile in his shirt.

“Me neither. What do you want for dinner?”

You shrug against him, “Whatever you want.”

You can feel him smile against the top of your head as he presses a kiss there, no longer ghosting his lips over you. There’s no debate on whether or not he’s kissed you.

“There’s this really good Thai place that does delivery. Do you like Thai?”

You nod, “Love it.”

“Perfect,” he says, starting to squirm away.

You move to protest, which only makes him laugh. His hand squeezes yours, and when your eyes connect, you swear you never would’ve imagined that night at the Christmas party that he’d turn out to be such an amazing man.

“I’ll get you some wine and a takeout menu,” he says, “Go snoop through my bookshelf. I know you want to.”

You giggle and pull your hand from his, letting him guide your mouth back to his for another kiss before you separate. It’s quick, definitely not enough for you to end the night, but it’s enough for now. Both of you smile as you pull away, and you waste no time making a bee-line for his living room.

You glance at only a few books before you turn around to look at him, grateful for his open concept living space. He’s opening one of the bottles he bought for you, and before you manage to look away, he steals a look over his shoulder, too. You both laugh and look away, but you’d swear to anyone who would listen that you’ve never felt like this, and you’re sure you never will again.

Tags: @poisxnedmind @writeswxrlds @slut4rafee @onmykneesforrafe @oliveeu @lovnar @@masteroperator @grimesrheee @justhereforthemonet @mannstarkey @valeriiecameron @lovedetlost @lurkymurker @scenesofobx @mardema @girlsneedloovee @red-wine06 @itsalexwin @wishing-i-was-rafes-princess @witchwyfe @malums-trash-can @emotionalbruv @parkerreidnorth @milkiane @rafecameronswhore @kotzmagoatz @wanniiieeee @kookkyra @sarahwasfound @lilgoddesshines @proactivetypeofperson @abrunettefangirlnerd @the-chaotic-cow @absolute-fcking-chaos @kaatelyyynn @jordynsharum @anonymousobxfan @premixed-margarita @princesspogue @outlaw-abby @samcaniglia @dr3aming0utl0udx @thisisthewayrose @iammirrorball @r0und3bitch @thesimpletype @fashphotolife @notdisneychannel @gillybear17 @solllaris @i-is-for-inspiring @sksliz @luversgirl

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Being Franks Daughter in Hawkins pt 9

Gif Caption: Top Gif: Frank Castle from Marvel's Punisher Bottom Gif: Billy Hargrove from Netflix's Stranger Things

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Reader: 17-18 | female reader

Characters Mentioned: Frank Castle (MCU), Marc Spector/Steven Grant/Jake (MCU), Khonshu (MCU), Matt Murdock (MCU, Briefly), Loki Layfeyson (MCU Briefly), Thor Odinson (MCU, Briefly), Steve Harrington (ST) Billy Hargrove (ST), Dustin Henderson (ST), Mike Wheeler (ST), Nancy Wheeler (ST), Eddie Munson (ST), Joyce Byers (ST), Will Byers (ST), Lucas Sinclair (ST), Max Mayfeild (ST), Dart (ST)

A/n: sorry for the gap I've been sewing, also Y/n gets arrested- and we gettin into the real stuff now

Warnings: mentions of how a body decays in water (blisters and skin discoloration, not heavy detail), Y/n smoking le gasp,

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You woke up the next morning: not in your bed

But in Steves

Que the mini panic attack and then the sighing as you were fully dressed

"Mhm..morin.." steve streched.

"Morin." Y/n spoke softly, "Did I wake you?"

"No..no. what time is it?" He asked looking besides him, "Shit!"

"What?!"

"ITS MONDAY!-"

"FUCK!"

You see it now. The reason why Frank was okay with you staying over

He know you wouldnt get up in time

He tricked you.

Good trick to be honest

You both rushed to get ready he grabbing one of your band tees and you grabbing one of his shirts

But fuck your too late to rechange so you both just go like that and rush off to school

Luckily you made it by the hair of your neck

"Hey Hargrove-"

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

"What?" Y/n asked leaning against the wall the teacher late to class.

"You look like your going to the country club." He argued.

"Yeah." Y/n mummbled leaning in to his ear, " it's Steve's"

"Im gonna beat the shit out of you swear." He sighed, the threat empty but still cut his point across

"Could you really though- Ow-"

He pinched her arm, she pinching him back starting a pinching war as she rushed down the hallway.

"You're dead Castilgonie!" He laughed chasing after her.

She turns around running backwards, "In your dreams Hargrove-"

"Watch out!"

She turned around seeing two janitors carring a long ladder, and with ease she jumped over it. Turning to Billy and flipping him off before the bell rang and running to class.

Nancy sat next to you that class.

Akward

"Ow..."

"Hangover?"

"Yeah..." she complained rubbing her head, "God Im never drinking again. Probally did somethin stupid too- uh- Mike says thanks again."

"Oh yeah no problem."

You have no idea was your only thought as you took notes

You didnt push it though, You were with Steve still instead of Nancy

That had to mean something.

She ended up almost falling asleep that class and you felt bad enough to give her some motrion for her head

She thanked you profoundly especially when it kicked in pretty fast

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go shopping." Nancy recommended, "Together."

"For?"

"Chlothes." Nancy spoke, "Maybe look for dress for the winter formal."

"Winter...Formal?" Y/n questioned.

"Yeah. A dance."

"Oh. Oh no." Y/n responded, "Im not a dancer...or a party goer I've learned."

"Yeah then what are you gonna do?"

Y/n shrugged, "maybe hang out with my old man."

"Ugh." Nancy groaned.

"What? I thought you liked my dad."

"Oh! No! I do." Nancy started, "But I swear. My mom's been obsessed alway asking my dad "hows frank" "hows frank been" "did you see frank at all today invite him for dinner next time."

"Oh. She did steal the seat next to him at dinner." Y/n responded.

You were quiet after that, listening to Nancy talk about dresses for the dance

You were having super mixed feelings on even sitting next to her at the moment.

Like nothing had happened yesterday

Luckily class ended and you were home free

Well almost. So you thought

You had gone to your next class, sitting next to Eddie Munson.

"Castiglione, Castiglione." He laughed walking towards her.

"Whats up freak?" Y/n questioned.

"Ouch! Stabbed in the heart!" He complained as she side eyed him, and went back to her notebook.

"Okay! Okay!" He started pulling his chair out and sitting down, yet it was more of a squat as he hugged his legs for support, "Friday."

"Friday?" Y/n asked.

"Ya know!" He spoke enthuastically as Y/n shrugged.

Eddie groaned and sat down fully, "You know. The-"

He grabbed his face and opened his mouth head on the table facing upward pencil hanging over him by his own hand.

"Im sorry! Im sorry!" He acted out, "You're not loud enough!"

"What about it-"

"Dude you seriously dont know?" He asked Y/n shrugging.

"No?"

"Have you not been to your locker?"

"No." Y/n spoke, "Why?"

He said you had to "see it to believe it"

Okay? Odd

He took you to your locker after class

You already knew where it was

But you let him drag your ass anyhow, and he covered your eyes

"Your still big talk of the school. Surpising how stupid those teachers are." Eddie informed setting her infront of the locker hands still over her eyes.

"Okay. And?-"

Y/n quickly shut up when the light invaded her eyes causing her to squint and block her eyes.

"Looks like you've got a few admirers." He chuckled Y/n looking at her locker covered in ink. Paper hanging out of the grate as if it had been stuffed.

Y/n leaned in, "huh. Seems like Im not the only ones those girls were fucking with."

"That ones mine." He spoke pointing out his, a little devil character scribbled with a "bad ass fuck."in red ink.

"Nice touch Munson." Y/n spoke opening her locker

Notes flying out in thanks and praise.

"You're popular-"

Thats not the voice of Eddie.

Y/n turned her head, "What the fuck are you doing here?" She complained to the man in a hoodie.

"Aw and I thought you were dating prince of hair." Eddie teased y/n glaring at him.

"How about this." Y/n told him handing him a bill, "You go. Buy use some soda."

"This is five dollars."

"Have fun with the change."

"Dont mind if I do."

Y/n sighed as she looked around for Billy and Steve, they no where to be seen.

"Marc. You have to leave- You can not be here-"

"Come on-"

"Hey-"

He pulled you along, all the way out the school almost.

You kept telling him you cant though, you're busy

He laughs at you

But then sees your being Serious

"Look. There's something here in Hawkins." He spoke.

"Okay. No." Y/n argued walked back towards school.

"Y/n!" Marc called going after her she walking through the halls, "Y/n. Listen-"

"Im not listening-" y/n argued seeing Eddie picking up notes from Y/n's open locker two cans of soda stuffed in his pockets.

"Y/n. Listen to me-"

He grabbed her arm before she turn around, "Watch what you do next very carefully." She threatened.

"You have to understand." Marc argued, "something is going on here-"

"What because Khonshu told you?"

"The mortal isnt as stupid as I assumed."

"Shut up." Marc grummbled turning his head slightly.

"He's here. Isnt he?" Y/n argued, "unfuckin believeable."

"Look." Marc took her attention back, "I need you to listen- we need the Midnight Sons again."

"You don't get it." Y/n argued, "Im. Happy here! I have a boyfriend, I have a best friend. I have normal teenage problems. My dad's got a girlfriend, he's happy, and finally mellowing out- im worried about boyfriends and dresses and some shit called the Winter Ball."

"Like a Snowball? It's barely past October. And your worried about making Snowballs-"

"No- Not the point!" Y/n argued, "My point it. We're done."

"We?"

"Im calling the shots on this one Marc. Go home. Go to Llaya. Go. Have a kid. Go be happy."

"Is this what makes you Happy? Living the same god damn day? When you-"

"Yes." Y/n argued, "It is. Makes me very happy."

She pulled her arm away from him, "Say Hi to Steven and Jake for me. Also. Fuck you Khonshu you skinny ass pigeon."

He watched you walk away and back to Eddie who handed you a soda you smiling at him

Oh god Marc is so fucked without help

You try and just go about your day, talking with Billy, trying to not to talk to Nancy

But something just. Bothers you as you sit down at the usual spot.

"Are. Are you okay?"

Y/n looks up seeing Johnathan, "Yeah. Yeah...just. ya know."

"Yeah. I get it." Johnathan spoke, "Can I uh? Sit here?"

"Yeah."

He sits down across from her "anything...werid? Ever happen in Hawkins?"

He shurgged, "missing kid. You know turns out just at a friends house, biggest thing was probally a truck tipping over that was filled with tomatoes. Wasnt that big of a truck."

Y/n nodded, "yeah."

You're quiet the rest of lunch and the rest of the day.

You're even off in PE something you tend to push hard in

But you play it off and just continue on

Steve tries to ask you if your are okay

Even pulls you into the bathroom to talk but you shrug and told him you're just tired

You just end up skipping school grabbing her bag from Steve's car and heading to the middle school.

When you get there you ask around. Some kids looking up to you some kids horrified of you, a Highschool student in front of them

"Dustin Henderson?" The boy asked, the girls trying not to laugh behind him.

"Yeah."

"He has his stupid little Freak club in the janitor closet."

"Hm." Y/n spoke walking off, "Oh! And Kid! Watch who you bully. Or I will be a problem."

His friends ooohed as he pushed them and you walked to find this closet

You were lucky to find it and open the door.

"Hey-"

"GET OUT!-"

"Well damn- calm down its me." Y/n protested the kids sighing as Will and Mike pulled her in Mike closing the door behind them and locking the door.

"Whatever you say! You cant tell anyone about even being here!" Mike probbed her.

"What? Here One of you left-"

"No one!" Mike argued.

"Okay. Okay...jesus. whats wrong with you all." Y/n argued setting the coustume piece on the table.

"She can handle it." Max spoke, "I know she can."

Why did she say that? Because if this freaky thing became a monster, you could handle it

After all you also knew two gods and a huge rock monster if things got so bad.

So with some convincing Dustin shows you

But This unknown species of animal looks up at you and screeches as if your going to kill it

Well 'Dart' hates you

And Dustin kinda agrees with that conclusion, that dart hates you

You could honestly care less

"You have fun with that." Y/n spoke, the bell ringing as they quickly grabbed there things.

"What are you doing her anyway?" Will asked.

"Havin...a day." Y/n responded, "in a sense...how are you?"

Will nodded, "yeah...Im okay."

"anyone bothering you?"

"No." Will spoke, "just...tired."

Y/n nodded, ruffling his hair, "I'll see you around then."

Will nodded one last time before Y/n left.

You went back to the high school, seeing Billy skipping and smoking in his car

You walked over, scaring him in fact as your hand hit the top of his car.

"Fuck!" Billy agrued, "You do that too fuckin much-"

He stopped seeing her expression, "What's wrong with you?"

"Are you skipping for the rest of the day?"

"Yeah- why?"

"Take me to the libary?"

"Im skipping to get away from books. Not to go back to a building with more-"

"Please."

He sighed, "Yeah get in. And don't slam your hands on the top of my car."

He took you to the library as you asked, and gave you a cigarette as you had asked.

He barely got to ask you what you were doing at the library before you run in

You asked for the old newspaper slides as the lady told you the microfilm reader was in the back

You spent your time going through older newspaper slides, anytime before you got to Hawkins

Nothing too important, except Will along with some other girl named Barb Going Missing

And Will turning up dead, and then alive

And no one finding Barb

not to mention a whole lab is mentioned

You go to recent papers and look to see Thor's even been Mentions "Big time hero visits Hawkins"

Not to mention you also pick up physical copies of the recent newspapers.

Oh. Fuck shit is happening in Hawkins

Taking notes taking notes taking fucking hella notes

You get out of the library, just to be carrying hella books

"What the hell." Billy aspirated.

"Look," Y/n defended, "I need to go home."

"What you need is a fucking mental doctor." Billy argued, grabbing one of the books, "History of Hawkins? Hawkins News Papers- And fucking national phenomenon, gardening What's going on with you?"

"Just take me home and I'll explain it."

He sighs and does as you ask, and as you explain it on the car ride back: he could really give less than one fuck.

He doesn't understand why one kid going missing can be linked to dead pumpkins.

"Okay, so some lab dumped chemicals in some water!" Billy argued. "and some shithead kid went missing-"

"No Billy, you don't get it, Hawkins farms is well water! Not Quarry water! Most farms in Hawkins run on aquifers! Matt was right, why would Pumpkins rot in their most popular time of year? How did they accidentally mix up Will Byers with a different Kid, There aren't many kids in Hawkins."

"So the kid's face was fucked up when they found him-"

"Water slows down the decaying process, the skin may blister and turn colors, but he would still be completely intact, easy to recognize."

"And this has to do what with Pumpkins and national phenomenon?"

"Pumpkins dying in such mass around the fall season? Sure you lose ten there twenty here, but multiple farms practically going up in flames because their harvests are gone. There are old families that run these farms. Sure competition is rough, but rotting pumpkins? In such mass? It makes it a National Pheunonom. So I was thinking, Maybe Thor fucked up our atmosphere- He's never done that- Loki poisoned the wells? Still, he's fucked up but not that bad- well I take it back, It's not flashy enough for him. Looking at the gardening book, this can't possibly happen within the time span that it is." Y/n informed.

"And that means..." Billy tried to put some things together, "That the lab that they closed...what? Did something to the air or some shit? In the past they did something to Byers and that Barbara chick and now they're back at it?"

"Not possible, they closed it forced to shut down-"

"Unless they didn't," Billy told, "You've dealt with secret agencies and crap before, is it that hard to believe there in secret?"

Billy had made a good point.

The Hawkin's lab was meant to be closed and left to rot after Will Byers and Barb's disappearance

He helped you with all your books and crap to go inside, Frank luckily not home

You spent the rest of the day scowering through pages, constantly, notes after notes, easier to be pinned to the wall than anything else

Billy had helped here and there looking through a gardening book.

"Here" He started, "Blight fungui can kill up to a large farm within Weeks."

"Too weak." Y/n explained.

"What about. Local dumbass reads to far into everything disease." He questioned.

"Haha very funny."

Still despite how crazy you seem and how confused especially, he still stays to read every news paper clipping and book three times over.

He actually just ends up spending the night, accidently falling asleep leaning against the wall as he sat on your bed and you at your desk.

The next day you both wake up mid afternoon, skipping school once again as he takes you to the library

He rather just wait in the car, you're better at resources and he at helping you just scan over it again

But when push comes to shove, the world just comes to push you off a cliff

You rushed out of the library just to find Hopper arresting Billy

"Damn it! I don't know her!" Billy argued.

"Come on Kid. Lieing to a cop? Gonna put you in jail just like your old man-"

"Hey! Hey!" Y/n shouted, catching Hopper's attention.

"Don't know her huh?" Hopper asked.

"What the fuck are you doing-"

"Im gonna give you an option. I arrest you. Or I arrest him." Hopper threated.

"Fuck you man!" Billy shouted.

"Billy." Y/n stopped him causing the blonde to roll his eyes, "Wanna tell me for what? Before you ruin my track record."

"Breaking and entering to the Hargrove Household and assult of Neil Hargrove-"

"Oh fuck-"

You were pushed onto the car and hands forced behind your back, as he cuffed you, you even complained about his was being unnecessarily rough as he dragged you to his car

Yet he didnt telling you your rights, and your arguing with him about it just for him to contuine to stuff you in the back and get in the driver seat and drive off.

You're silent trying to pick the lock with a pin from your back pocket.

What? Your always ready.

He pulls into the woods

Excuse me?

The middle of the woods? Deep in too as he turns around

"I suggest you choose your next words very carefully." Y/n threatened with a sharp glare.

"What do you know?" He asked.

Y/n's eyebrows knitted, "what?"

"It asked for you. What do you know?"

"What the fuck." Y/n argued, "Let me out!"

"Shut up!" He shouted angered and seemingly in a rush as he sighed, "Listen. You know Will-"

"Will? Will Byers?" Y/n asked, "what Happened to Will."

"Did he say anything to you? Anything important."

"He has bad nightmares?" Y/n asked, "plays dungeons and dragons? Likes Ghost Busters too much for a normal kid?"

"Why did it ask for you!"

"What!?" Y/n argued, "What asked for Me!? Hello!? Did Will ask for me?!"

"Fuck."

And then he drove off as you keep shouting at him asking him what the fuck is going on

He takes you out the car and forces you inside a house.

Just to seen Joyce walking towards her.

"Hi." She smiled papers in her hands.

"What. The fuck." Y/n asked looking at all the walls covered in drawings which linked together looking like a road.

"Hopper? Did you arrest her?!" Joyce argued.

"Had to make it look real." Hopper spoke taking his keys out.

"Don't worry I got it." Y/n defended she taking the cuffs off and handing them back to him, "what the hell is this-"

"Long! Long story!" Joyce spoke, "come. Come here."

Y/n followed her, Joyce swipping away some loose papers

"This!" She spoke slapping a paper down, "This is you!"

Y/n looked at the drawing cartoonish yes, but similar, yet it look, evil? What looked like scratch marks scribbled in long lines down her fsce.

"...yeah..." y/n spoke, "why did you-"

"You have to listen to me. Very Carefully." She spoke, "There's alot to tell you."

You sat there as she explained it all

What happened with Will and the other world

And your gonna die.

Oh god Marc was right, Matt was right

"Mom?"

The two turned there head, Will standing there in Pajamas with a handful of drawings

"Will hey bud." Y/n smiled, "You okay?"

He looked at her, at his expression broke and shook his head, "It wants to hurt you."

"Hey. Bud." Y/n spoke getting up, "Nothings going to happen to me. I promise alright?"

You're more worried for Will than yourself, after all, you've had your fair share, of well,

Let's call them Non-Human Incidents.

he hugs you and you hug him back

he ends up drawing as he sits beside you: Joyce explaining everything to you even more in detail

"I know, I know I sound crazy."

"Joyce, surprisingly you don't, just, I thought being in Hawkins I was going to be able be ya know- calm-"

She laughs, "I know, I. I sound crazy, but thank you."

"Trust me, " Y/n spoke grabbing her hand, "I understand what it feels like going crazy, remember, New Yorker."

She smiles, "Thank you-"

"I. All I ask is you keep my dad out of this." Y/n pleaded, "He's been through enough."

"Of course," She told, grabbing Y/n's hand in response and sighing in relief once more with a cigarette in hand.

The only question is what do you do now? You assume you should go get the kids, make sure they're all right, Joyce had told you how she takes Will out of school to go see the doctor, so the kids were still at school.

"I'll go get the kids," Y/n explained.

"Please, take my car." Joyce offered Y/n nodding ruffling Will's hair on the way out,

Yet on the porch, Hopper stopped you, you looking back as he walked closer.

"How'd you get out the cuffs?" He asked.

"Come on." Y/n laughed, "I'm from New York!"

✧▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬✧

Tags!: @raelwrites @miiikkeey @beebslebobs @ah-witch @supernaturallover2002 @pearlstiare @simonsbluee @stilllivindue2spite @lvbred @dancingqueen21 @writerdream22 @i-reblog-fics-i-like @knivqs @xxlaynaxx @3-spurr @eliskakratochvilova @sunshinepower17 @marssssaturn @howlerwolfmax @mxltifxnd0m

[sunghoonalter-archived]

[3:37pm] jake sim

tw: obsession, stalking, mentions of violence, mild cursing, yandere themes

this isn’t the first time jake had to run for the bus. he was so focused on knowing exactly where you were walking to remember that he had to get on after you. 

'shit shit shit,' he mumbles as he hurries down a steep street to get to the bus stop. he looks both ways when he gets to the end of the street, seeing the bus by the red light. 

'fuck fuck fuck,' he continues to mutter as he practically sprints over the road, nearly getting knocked over by a car in front of the bus. 

once at the bus stop, he reaches his hand out to stop it, panting with relief washing over him. he gets on and the first thing he does is look up to see if you're there. if you weren't, he would just fake not having any money and get off to wait for the next one.

but there he spots you, back facing the window as your eyes are glued to your phone with your bag is seated on the seat next to you. he noticed you started doing that to avoid people sitting too close to you, he saw that you'd get anxious when someone's shoulder would even touch you. he moves towards the back of the bus, just a few seats away from you on the opposite side so he could keep his eyes on you. but today two strangers decide to invade your personal space, forcing you to sit forward instead of leaning against the window. 'there's plenty of fucking seats open, why are you sitting next to her?'

he knows you're normally too shy and socially awkward to say anything, just try scooting away as best you could. he seats himself directly behind you, completely out of your sight. you were looking out the window with music blasting in your ears to watch for your stop. he taps the one person who was seated next to you on the shoulder. 

'if you don't fucking move away from her, I will fucking slaughter you,' he says softly, knowing you wouldn't hear. the threatening tone and darkened eyes was enough to let them know he was serious, patting the other person and signal them to sit in another seat.

he moves back to his seat, smiling as he watches you get comfortable again. he swears he could watch you do absolutely nothing for hours.

his eyes stay on you until he sees that noisy group of boys that sat at the very back of the bus and disturbed almost everyone. God how he hated them, especially that time one of them laid one of their disgusting hands on you just to tell you he likes you, only for you to shrug him off. 'she knows she's mine and only mine.'

there were days when they sat behind you, 'too close' he thought. they were within arms reach of you, nobody should be that close to you, just him. 

but today would be his final straw. one of those wastes of space sat behind you. he overheard them talking about how he likes you and is planning on asking you for your number.he swears he sees red as the boys encourage him to even lay a hand on you. 'im going to saw that hand off if you touch her.'

he pats your shoulder to get your attention, to which jake's foot begins tapping rapidly from frustration. you turn around, seeing the boy’s mouth moving. you remove one of your earphones to hear what he said. the repetition of his question just angered jake even more. 

but when he sees you reject the boy once more, his heart skips a beat in happiness. he wants you all to himself and you're unknowingly fueling his obsession with you by rejecting everyone but him.

'that's right,' he thought. 'you're mine. no one should even try coming near what's mine. you belong to me, and one day you'll finally know it. you'll love me as much as I love you and we'll live happily ever after together, just you and me.' 

he holds his phone up and puts his hand on top of it, pretending he couldn't see what's on it when really he was taking pictures of you. you weren't always on the bus and he always needed to see you. not a day went by that he wasn't thinking of you, wondering what you were doing, stalking you on social media. 

he added more pictures to his folder dedicated to you. he was addicted to the sight of you, he just couldn’t get enough. 

but one day. one day, he's going to approach you. you're going to fall hopelessly in love with him and leave all your friends behind. the two of you will always be together. 

at least that's what he thinks.

he stares in the direction of the boy who thought he could even look at what was his. the boy looked back at him, slightly taken aback by the intensity of jake's stare. 

"don't ever touch or look at her again," he spoke loud enough for him to hear. 

"or what?" the boy tries to challenge him even though he has a gut feeling telling him not to mess with him.

jake doesn't utter a word. all he does is slice his thumb across his neck before pointing at him. the boy moves at least two seats away from you just to get away from jake's burning stare. 

'good,' he thought as he goes back to watching you. he doesn't think he's obsessed. he just appreciates you a little more than others. he just wants to protect and love you forever. he just wants to eliminate every single obstacle that would come between you two.

you just belong to him and everyone should know it. that's all.

[1-800-gaygentsofshield]

you + me = ? | n.r.

summary: after the war you and Natasha settle down, deciding to start a family in your cozy little home. The problem is though, how many times can hope be ignited before it fully burns out?

warnings: (trying to get pregnant) reader, canon/sterile Nat, swearing, Nat and you cry, post-endgame, sprinkle of angst with a very fluffy ending

word count: 4,016

im having baby fever rn im so sorry

-flashback, pre-endgame-

"I wanna have a family." Your voice is barely above a whisper as you both look up at the night sky, laying in the garden atop the Avengers compound. "What?" Nat asks softly, breaking out of her trance as she looks at you. You're laying on her chest and her arm is wrapped your back, Nat's other arm folded up behind her head.

"I wanna have a family, with you." You repeat yourself, making eye contact with your girlfriend as her brows furrow. "Y/n.." Nat's voice is hesitant and panic floods your chest, your eyes widening as you move to sit up. "Oh my god I'm so sorry, that was so quick-" You apologize quickly as you avoid Natasha's gaze, the redhead sitting up with you.

You've dated Natasha for two years but everything has been slow, knowing how the assassin will close herself off if you try and move too fast (emotion wise).

"Hey Y/n no." Nat says softly as she looks at your side profile, a soft frown forming on her face as she sees you. "That's not the reason why." She says as she gently turns your head to face her, fingertips delicately grabbing your chin. "I do want to have a family with you, moya lyubov'..it's just that I can't." Nat whispers and you finally lock eyes with her, seeing the pain and sadness on her face. "What do you mean?' You ask carefully and she sighs, waiting a beat before deciding to tell you. "In the Red Room me and all of my other group mates were sterilized..it was like a sick graduation ceremony that prevented us from having a family of our own." She tells you and hurt immediately grips at your heart, seeing Nat avert her gaze for a moment.

"Why?" You question and she purses her lips together, one of your hands rubbing her knee gently. "So we would never have any distraction from our mission..so that our only purpose in life was to kill and be used as a weapon." Disgust drips from Nat's voice at the last part, your soft hands on her wrist bringing her back to reality. "Im so sorry Nat, I shouldn't have anything I didn't know-" You start to apologize again but Nat stops you with a soft shake of her head, a bittersweet smile on her face. "Don't apologize, Y/n. I'm the one who should be sorry for not being able to give you the family that you deserve." She says and now it's your turn to shake your head, grabbing Nat's hands and caressing them gently. "Its alright baby." You smile gently before an idea pops into your head, your eyes lighting up and Nat gives you a look of curiosity.

"Besides.." You start, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "If you really..truly..wanted a family with me, there could still be other options. Like adopting or getting a surrogate..or I could get pregnant instead." You suggest and Natasha's eyes light up like the stars in the night sky, a small laugh escaping your lips as you see the excitement on her face.

"Really?! You'd do that?" She asks and you nod your head, giving your girlfriend a soft kiss before laughing. "Mmhm, but you'd have to put a ring on it first, Miss Romanoff." You giggle and Nat wraps her arms around you again, both of you laying back down on the blanket. "Im planning to, future Mrs.Romanoff."

-present day, post-endgame-

You nervously pace around the bathroom as you wait for the three minutes to be up, Natasha sitting on the edge of the bathtub and observing you walk back and forth. The pregnancy test is laying by the sink and you can’t help but glance at it every few seconds, not having felt this nervous since battling Thanos and his army. You’ve faced gods, powerful Titans, super soldiers, but you’re sure this the most nerve wracking thing you’ve ever had to do. Once the timer on Natasha’s phone goes off, you practically jump towards the sink, Natasha leaning forward a bit more on the bathtub. Picking up the white and pink pregnancy test, you nervously turn it over in your hands, eyes scanning the small window for the results.

Natasha doesn’t even have to ask for the results when she sees your shoulders slump and your face drop, quickly getting up from the bathtub to wrap you up in her arms. Hugging you from behind, she can see the negative test in your hands, gently kissing your cheek when you don’t say anything. “It’s okay baby, we can try again.” She says softly and you shake your head, slowly placing the test down and closing your eyes.

“Nat, what if somethings wrong with me?” You whisper and her arms hug you closer, tears pooling under your eyelids in frustration. “Nothing is wrong with you malysh.” Natasha reassures you and you turn in her arms, releasing a shaky breath as you press your face into her neck. “Three times Nat..three fucking times..” You sigh and she only holds you closer, knowing how much hope the both of you had for this one. “I know, I know.” Nat hums softly as she rocks the two of you back and forth gently, feeling the hope starting to dwindle from you. “What if we just weren’t meant to have a biological children? What if we weren’t meant to have lives after the war?” You question out loud and Natasha pulls back, gently tilting your chin up so you can look her in the eyes. “Hey no, don’t say that. We were meant to have a family Y/n, biological or not.” Nat takes a pause to brush some hair out of your face.

“Let’s try one more time, okay? And if that doesn’t work then we can look into other options.” She continues and you think for a moment, not knowing if you could go through the hope and pain again. “Okay.” You whisper softly and Nat nods her head. “Okay.” She echos you before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, pulling you back in for a hug.

————

Nat’s leg is bouncing up and down as she watches the timer tick down, only ten more seconds before you can check. This is the last try, all or nothing. You’re too anxious to pace this time, instead opting to sit next to Natasha and leaning into her as you watch her leg bounce. “You know..whatever happens, I love you.” Nat says softly when she sees you blankly stare at her knee, lost in thought about what’s going to happen. “I love you too.” You reply equally as soft as you look up at your wife, grabbing her hand and intertwining them slowly.

Leaning into each other, you both share a soft kiss, love shining through the small interaction. You both only pull away when the timer dings, Natasha rubbing your back as you sigh and get up. It feels like time slows down as you walk towards the sink, heart pounding in your chest as you reach out to grab the test. The bathroom is silent as you pick it up and flip it over, looking at the little window for the results. You’re silent as you look at the results, body frozen in place as you stare at the test. Natasha’s brows furrow and she gets up, sighing as she rubs her temples.

“Baby I’m so sorry-” “It’s positive.” You interrupt Nat midway through her sentence, your voice in disbelief as you see those two pink lines. “What?” Natasha asks, unsure if she heard you right. “It’s positive.” You repeat as you turn to face her, pregnancy test in hand as you smile from ear to ear. “You’re pregnant?” Natasha asks, almost in disbelief as she stares at you. “I’m pregnant.” You nod your head and Natasha immediately sweeps you up in her arms, hugging you right and picking you up from the ground. “Holy shit! We’re gonna have a baby!” Nat laughs as she spins you around, joyful giggles falling from your lips as you cling onto your wife.

“Oh my god we’re gonna have a baby.” Nat breathes out as she comes to a stop, quickly putting you down once the realization hits her brain. “Shit, you’re pregnant we need to be careful.” She says and you only laugh, pulling her down a bit to kiss her. “You don’t need to be that a careful dummy, but yes..I’m pregnant.”

————

“Tony gave us an iron man onesie.” You laugh as you hold up the tiny piece of clothing, Natasha grinning as she watches you. Even though the announcement was made a week ago, the gifts have been steadily pouring in, Tony insisting that he pays for the majority of the things that are needed for the new arrival.

He paid for the crib, the high chair, the car seat, most of the nursery, and all the bottles and toys a newborn could ask for. Pepper had a huge part in it too, having experience since bringing Morgan into the world. “That man is self centered.” Natasha laughs as she walks over to where you’re sitting, her heart full of love as she kneels down next to you.

“Mmhm.” You hum in agreement as you fold the article of clothing away, Natasha handing you the next gift. You’re about sixteen weeks along and you’re already showing, a small baby bump forming from your midsection. You both decided to wait until the second trimester to tell the rest of the team, wanting to enjoy the first few months in peace.

Natasha watches you wordlessly as you open a gift from Steve, a smile tugging on her lips as she sees the captain america pacifier. “I love you so much.” She blurts out randomly and your head turns to face her, a smile on your face as you gently kiss her.

“You’ve gone soft Romanoff.” You tease and she only laughs, gently kissing you again. “I blame you, you’ve made me domestic.” She grins and you roll your eyes, placing the gift to the side.

————

As the pregnancy goes along, you start to notice Natasha’s lack of touch, the redhead only going as far as running her hands through your hair or holding your shoulders. You have no idea what has gotten into her and you're determined to investigate, missing the way Natasha used to spoon and cuddle you all day.

Your questions were finally answered when one day you and Natasha were watching TV in bed, the redhead's arm slung around your shoulder as you lean into her. When the commercial break finally came on, you turned your head to look at your wife, curiosity written all over your face. "Why don't you cuddle me anymore, Nat?" You ask softly and she looks at you with confusion, lowering down the volume on the TV. "What do you mean? I cuddle you all the time baby." She says and you shake your head, reaching up and gently toying with her hair.

"Ever since I've gotten pregnant you've treated me like I could break at any moment, what are you so afraid of?" You question and Natasha sighs, glancing at her lap for a moment before answering. "With these hands I've done some awful things Y/n..things too horrific to say out loud. I feel like if I touch you or the baby I'll just ruin it, or hurt you..like everything else in my life." Nat confesses softly and your heart melts at how scared your wife is, knowing how much she's struggled with her past and with the red in her ledger. "Natasha Romanoff." You whisper, gently grabbing her hands to put them in between the two of you. "You are the kindest," You start, gently kissing her knuckle. "Most caring." another kiss, "Most selfless" another kiss, "Person I've ever met" another kiss. "And I know, with my whole heart and soul, you would never do anything to hurt me or the baby." You look up at her and gently rub your knuckles over the back of her hands. "So please stop acting like you will. These are the hands that I love, the hands that will raise our child, they're strong and secure, so stop thinking otherwise." You finish as you wordlessly move both your hands towards your belly, gently placing Natasha's hands over the bump.

The redhead is stunned as your hands rest over hers, the baby suddenly kicking. A wide smile spreads across your face as you both look down at your belly, the baby never having kicked before. "That was the first time they've ever kicked." You inform Natasha and you could see her still processing that fact. "That's our baby?" She asks softly and you laugh, nodding your head. "Mmhm, that's our baby. They recognized their mama." You say fondly as the baby kicks again, Natasha's heart bursting with warmth as she looks at you.

Slowly, Natasha moves to lay down on the bed, resting her head right beside your bump and holding it gently. "Hi malen'kiy golub'." She whispers softly, your hand coming down to gently play with her hair. You smile as you watch Natasha gently cuddle with your bump, knowing without a doubt that she's going to be a great mother.

-----

Placing the stuffed animals down on the table, you turn to look at Natasha, a giggle coming from your lips as you walk over to her. "What?" Nat grins as she turns to face you, putting the paintbrush down to the side.

"You're a mess." You laugh as you rub some pastel green paint from her cheek, both of you deciding that the nursery would be painted a light grey with a pastel green accent wall. "I'm still hot though." She teases and you only roll your eyes, cupping her face as you gently kiss her.

"Yeah yeah you're always hot." You laugh and Natasha looks around the room, grinning at the stack of Avenger's themed stuffed animals your team gave you. "They're all trying to be known as the cool uncle aren't they?" She asks softly and you nod your head, knowing that whatever Avenger your child takes after will forever have that bragging right.

"Let them have their fun, they're happy for us." You smile and Nat only sighs, shaking her head with a small smile on her face.

-----

You feel like Natasha was more anxious than you when you went into labour, your water breaking in the middle of the night. There wasn't any dramatic screaming or freaking out, you just calmly pushed the sheet back and let out a soft "huh" as you saw the damp bedsheets.

"Oh, okay we're doing this." You say before turning on the light, acting like it was any other day as you gently shake Natasha awake. "Nat, baby wake up." You whisper softly as Natasha stirs, squinting at the light once her eyes opened. "Y/n? What's wrong?" Nat mumbles sleepily as she rubs the sleep from her eyes, seeing you in a sitting up position.

"My water broke." You say and it takes a second for the words to process in Natasha's brain, the redhead suddenly sitting up and fully awake. "What? Okay okay it's happening. It's happening." Nat says as she pushes the sheets off herself, her mind immediately going to all the books she's read over the past nine months. You've already packed your hospital bags a few weeks in advance so you aren't too stressed about it, only needing to change and grab a few extra things. Natasha, on the other hand, is working on full overdrive, pulling on sweatpants and making sure everything is in order.

"Natasha, baby." You say as you gently grab her arm, needing your wife to slow down if you're going to survive the next few days. "You need to calm down my love." You say softly as you hold onto her shoulders, making the redhead look at you and take a few deep breaths. "Okay..okay. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous." Natasha admits and you nod your head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"It's okay to be nervous Nat, you just need so slow down. We haven't even gotten to the hospital yet." You laugh softly and she nods her head, waiting a few more moments before stepping back slowly. "Okay, let's have a baby."

---

Your head is resting back against Natasha's shoulder as she acts like a backrest to you, allowing you to grip onto her hand when your contractions hit. Nat has been nothing but supportive the entire time, humming reassuring words into your ear as the pain washes over your body.

"Fuck." You whimper once another round of contractions end, Natasha's hand coming up to gently push back the sweaty hairs sticking to your forehead. "You're doing amazing baby, I'm so proud of you." She hums and you sigh, closing your eyes as you feel your wife rub your back. It's quiet as you feel Natasha's hands move down to your bump, rubbing your stomach softly as she sighs.

"Come on malen'kiy golub, your mommies are so excited to meet you." Nat coos and you smile into her neck, warmth flooding your chest as you listen to her. "And I know all of your aunties and uncles are excited to meet you too. We're so excited to hug you, and kiss you, and watch you grow." She hums as she rubs small circles on your belly.

"So please come out before your mommy kills me." Both of you laugh and you snuggle more into Natasha's embrace. "You're going to be an amazing mom." You whisper and Nat grins, looking at you with a quirked eyebrow. "Yeah?" She asks and you nod your head. "Yeah..I couldn't have asked for a more amazing wife, best friend, and now..a mother to our daughter." You hum and Nat blushes, kissing you gently.

----

Your eyebrows furrow as you grip onto Natasha’s hand, pain coursing through your body as you deliver the baby. “You’re doing amazing y/n, almost there.” Nat says as you practically crush her hand, hiding the pain in her face as she watches you. "Congratulations, it's a healthy baby girl." The doctor announces as the baby's cries fill the room, your chest heaving as you lay back. Nat cuts the umbilical cord ("I've seen worst in Budapest") and they place the baby on your chest, draping a blanket over the two of you to keep you warm.

"Hi baby." You coo as you hold your child close to your chest, Natasha standing next to you with unshed tears in her eyes. You look up at her and sniffle (you're crying so hard at this point) as you see the look of awe on her face, smiling as you gently reach out to grab her hand. Softly placing her hand atop of the baby's blanketed back, she slowly moves her thumb, the child's cries quieting at both of her mother's touch. Nat is speechless as she watches the tiny newborn cling onto your chest, loving the warmth radiating off of your body.

"She's a boob man, just like her mama." Nat whispers and you laugh, that being the first thing that comes to her mind. Your child's hand slowly comes up and wraps her fingers around Natasha's thumb, that being the breaking point for the tears as they finally fall down her cheek.

----

"Are you gonna hold her or are you just going to stare at me?" You ask as Natasha watches you and Mila sit on the bed, the two of you now alone with your child. Natasha looks hesitant as she walks over to you, never feeling so nervous as you look up at her.

"You aren't going to break her Nat." You say and Nat's eyebrows furrow, seeing the tiny infant look up at her with Y/c/e. The baby took from both you and Natasha, having scarlet red hair from her and beautiful y/c/e from you. "I just don't know..I mean what if I drop her? What if I do something wrong?" Nat worries her bottom lip between her teeth and you only beckon her to come closer, scooting over so she can sit on the hospital bed.

"You won't Nat, I promise." You reassure her and she slowly sits down on the bed, following your instructions as she places her hands out. Gently transferring the baby into her arms, you smile as Mila looks up at her mama, letting out a soft "gah". "See? She loves you already." You hum as you rub Mila's hair gently, seeing the love on Natasha's face. "Hi Mila." Nat breathes out as you rest your head on her shoulder, watching your wife interact with the baby. The tears return to Natasha's eyes as the newborn looks up at her, her emotions going everywhere as she processes that this is her child, her little bundle of joy that she gets the privilege of sharing with you. "Thank you." Nat whispers out as she looks at you, a smile on her face as she sniffles.

"For what?" You question and she only kisses you softly, smile still on her face as she pulls away. "For giving me another reason to live for." She whispers and her statement covers a wide range, thank you for being her wife, thank you for giving her a chance, thank you for her daughter, thank you for giving her the family she's always wanted, just thank you.

----

Mila's cries ring out through your room and pierce your eardrums, rousing you and Nat from your slumber.

"Mm, I've got it." You sleepily mumble out of instinct as you start to get up, now used to getting woken up in the dead of night.

Mila still doesn't have a sleep schedule since she's a newborn so sometime's she'll sleep for a few hours and other times only for ten minutes.

This time around though, you get gently pushed back onto the bed by Natasha, feeling a comforting kiss placed on your temple as your wife gets up. "I've got it, moya lyubov'." She whispers and you don't have enough energy to resist, watching as Nat walks over to the bassinet. "Hi malen'kiy golub, you have a healthy set of lungs don't you?" Nat mumbles sleepily as she pulls the newborn from the crib, cradling the baby to her chest and gently rocking her back and forth. "Yeah I know, it's okay baby. It's okay, mama's got you." She hums as the baby's cries slowly die down, you still sitting on the bed as you watch your wife in awe. "Your mommies need their sleep huh little one, that sounds nice doesn't it." Nat yawns and you cant help but smile.

"But don't worry, every time you wake up we'll be here okay? We'll love you and hug you each time you cry. And I'm gonna protect you, malen'kiy golub. I won't let anything happen to you or your mommy, I promise." Natasha coos as she continues to rock Mila, not noticing how you're wide awake now. It's a soft, quiet vow, spoken in the dead of night, that Natasha will protect her family with everything she has in her..and it makes you fall more in love with her, if that's even possible.

Getting up, you make your way over to your wife, gently placing your hands on her shoulders to notify her of your presence. She knew you were coming as soon as she heard the bedsheets rustle, even in her tired state she was looking out for the two of you. "Hi." Nat greets you softly and you only hum, a tired smile on your face as you rest your head on her shoulder. Your hand comes up and is gently placed on Mila's back, rubbing soft circles on her onesie. Natasha's heart swells as she looks at her small family, smiling when you kiss her cheek. "I love you." You whisper before looking down at your daughter. "And I love you too." You hum, gently kissing her fiery red hair. Nat kisses your temple gently and closes her eyes, finally at peace with her daughter in her arms and you at her side.

[harrysgoldenline]

When In Italy Part 4

here is part 4! Um this chapter has bad words and some adult themes so warning for that! The next part will be the last, so let me know what you think! Are they end game or no? Also! If you want a personalized imagine, check out my pinned post! If you want to support me ---> please click here! every little bit helps bc im a broke ass college student so thank u to anyone who wants to support me :)

All comments and feedback are welcome and encouraged!! :)

WORD COUNT: 2.2K

You stood frozen as he stepped out of the elevator, his eyes soft as he met yours, waking towards you.

“Get away from me.” you whisper, attempting to push past him and get into the elevator, pressing the door closed button before even pressing a floor, not wanting him to get any closer.

“Y/N, wait!” he rushed, sticking his hand between the doors and stopping it, his tall frame standing before you that you quickly push past, going back to lock yourself in your apartment, and lock him out, “Please, let me explai-“

“No!” you stopped, voice firm as you turned to face him, “you can’t keep doing this! you can’t keep showing up like this! So just leave me alone.”

You kept walking, ignoring his pleas as he came after you, successfully unlocking your apartment door rapidly, but you catch a glimpse of rings as he hand stops the door.

“Please.” He whispered, not pushing the door open and you saw a flicker of his eyes and you could almost see the sincerity in them, “I know I don’t deserve it, I really don’t, but I would just love to talk to you for real this time, anything you want to know.”

“and you’re not gonna be an asshole this time?” you asked, leaning against the doorframe, peaking at him, “because if you are, I swear to god Styles I will give you 5 seconds to get the fuck out.”

“Promise.” He nodded and your heart believed him, so you opened the door.

You watched as he shoved his hands deep in his pockets, slowly entering your apartment and you didn’t miss how his eyes scanned you quickly, before bouncing around the apartment, looking around the space he used to be so familiar with.

You watched how he headed to the couch about to sit but stutter stepped a bit, scratching the back of his neck and looking at you, almost asking you if it’s okay if he sits down.

You gave him a soft smile and nod, tucking a loose hair behind your ear and sitting on one side of the couch, thankful he sat on the other, giving you each plenty of space as your eyes met. The tension was slowly rising, looking at each other as you sat, wondering who was going to break the silence.

“I never meant for anything to happen.” he whispered, his head falling as a shameful look covered his face, avoiding your eyes, “After the breakup… I- I was just lost. I was messing up at work and I just was doing shit. Then, it was like only like a month ago, I was getting drunk all the time and she just came into my trailer and we were talking and then she kissed me.”

You just nodded, biting your bottom lip and picking at your nails, peaking up and looking at him, your glossy eyes meeting his bloodshot ones, not really having anything to say in response.

“And I just…” he started, “I wanted to feel better, feel anything. So, we just started hanging out more and I just really wanted to feel something, feel a connection. So we took a trip to Italy because… It’s always been a place that made me feel better and then…”

“Yeah.” you chuckled, “and then… Why did you bring her to our house? I know we haven’t talked about that kind of stuff, but it’s mine too Harry and… just seeing you two there? I never felt more replaceable than I did when I saw you two.”

“Oh love, no.” He whispered, scooting closer to you, a hand coming up to cup your face to help your eyes meet, but he retracted it back before he made contact with your skin, “I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry and I will never be able to prove to you, but that was never my intention to ever hurt you. The breakup was a mistake.”

“I… How am I supposed to believe that?” you squeaked, voice cracking as the barrier breaks, tears falling on your cheeks as you looked up at him, “We we’re together for years and you just- I mean fuck Harry! I haven’t even thought about even starting to flirt with someone and you’re…”

“We’ve never had sex,” He quietly added cheeks turning a bit red, “or done anything like that. At all, I just… couldn’t.”

Your eyes widen a bit at the confession, watching as he looked at his hands, a slight twinge of embarrassment on his features.

“Oh.” you whispered, “I know I shouldn’t be mad, we… we aren’t together and you have have the right to do whatever you want but it’s just… hard. Especially when I wasn’t expecting it. I went to Italy to try and get away, everything in the city makes me think of you, I don’t know why I thought staying at the house would be any better but, I just wanted to get away.”

“Sorry I ruined your trip.”

“Sorry I ruined your hookups.”

He let out a laugh, the smile staying a bit longer when he noticed you had subconsciously scooted a bit closer to him.

“It’s not like I ever really wanted to… Even little Harry only wants you.” he flirted and an instant, loud laugh leaves your lips, leaning forward and your brace yourself on his shoulder, a simple thing you had done over the years countless times, but still made his heart skip a beat.

“Oh my god,” you said between breathless laughs, your bodies now less then a foot apart as you smiled up at him, “please do not call it little Harry!”

“What do you prefer?” He smirked, “rather I call it bi-“

“What the fuck?” a voice spoke suddenly, both of your red eyes going to your front door and seeing your best friend standing their, her eyes wide in a mix of confusion and anger. Your hand retracted from his body quickly, your best friend looking at you with soft eyes, her eyes darting over to Harry’s and you see the fiery anger behind them, “Y/N, please tell me he was getting whatever shit he left behind and is leaving.”

“We were just talking.” You started, glancing over at Harry, seeing a bit of fear behind his eyes and your lips quirked up in a smile that quickly faded seeing the anger in y/bff/n eyes.

“What do you want to talk to him about? How he broke your heart again?” She asked, confusion and concern laced in her voice, “I’m sorry, y/n, I just… I can’t watch you go through all of it all over again and again.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he quickly stood up beside you giving you a quick nod as he glanced over at y/bff/n the back at you, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just showed up. It was so good to see you, y/n, I’ll get out of your way.”

“Harry, wait!” you stood up, hating the softening in your voice, “I want to talk more… are you staying or do you have to go back to L.A?”

“I’ll be here as long as you need me. And if you want me gone, I’ll book my flight. Okay? It’s up to you, whatever you want.”

“Okay… Can I call you later?”

“You can call me anytime, I’ll pick up.”

***

Y/bff/n definitely wasn’t thrilled with you.

“I just feel like this is a bad idea, y/n!” She had exclaimed once Harry had left your apartment, “He’s gonna hurt you again! What could he possibly want?”

“I dont know, I just… I dont know.” You sighed, sitting across from her on your couch just like you did with him, “I love him and I don’t know what’s going to happen but I don’t want to end up hating him.”

She nodded, looking at you as your eyes glazed over again, “Hey, okay, I’m sorry. I just don’t want you upset. Do you still wanna go try this new place or just hang out here? Let’s get your mind off of everything, you need a break, yeah? Especially if you’re going to talk to him later.”

“Do you think I should?"

“If that’s what you think, I think you should. You know him.” She nods, “but I swear to god if he makes you cry again he’ll have to deal with me.”

So now, here you were, waiting on him to come back to finish your talk from earlier. It was helpful hanging out with y/bff/n, listening to her advice as she gave you a bit of the reality check that you needed, making sure he won’t sweep you off your feet with his familiar charm.

Your heart rate never fully calmed down as you waited for him to come back to your apartment after y/bff/n dropped you back off after your afternoon together and you were glad for the few hours of a distraction, but now your mind was fully occupied with him once again as you sat on your couch.

The knock on your door caused you to jump, hoping up and checking your appearance in your hall mirror before swinging open the door, seeing Harry standing their with a bouquet of flowers, a small smile on his face.

“Got these for you,” he began, “shoulda showed up with them when I kinda crashed into you earlier… but I was so nervous I didn’t think about it, honestly.”

“Thank you.” You softly replied, eyeing up at him and taking them from his grip, letting out a shaky breath as you welcome him in and turn on your heel, going to your kitchen to place them into a vase quickly before going back to him, seeing him in the same spot you two were sitting in earlier.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry again… and thank you for letting me come back and talk to you at all, really don’t deserve your time, but I’m thankful for it.” He began, eyes glued onto yours as he scooted closer to you when you sat down, his fingers tentatively trailing on your arm before laying his hand on your own, “I… I want you back, y/n. I want to be with you, I never stopped wanting just you.”

“Harry, I… I don’t know what to say.” You started, “I just… there’s so much still up in the air and it’s all happening so fast. Are you still with Olivia?”

“No, of course not.” He instantly answered, “we were never anything real, I left Italy when I went to the house and you were gone. I came back here and I just… I would sit outside your building in my car and just try and get the nerve to walk in to talk to you, but I was so scared of you telling me to leave again.” Harry started deep into your eyes as he continued, his own welling up with tears, “I love you so much and I was such an idiot and fuck baby… I’ll do anything to prove it you.”

Now, you two were just inches apart, his hand cupping your cheek as you leaned into it, eyes glued onto his eyes as both of your gazes were glassy, sets of eyes wandering down to one another’s lips. Your eyes fluttered up and looked at him, his nose nudging into yours, seeming to test the boundary and you simply nodded, causing him to connect your lips in an instant.

Your lips met softly, gaining speed as the passion overflowed you both as the familiar move came back easier than either of you could have imagined. You both moaned into one another’s mouths, his tongue quickly sliding past your lips as your crawled onto his lap, fingers gripping the soft material of his shirt.

Things escalated quickly as he carried you into your bedroom, body hovering over yours as his body pressed against yours, the articles of clothing disappearing piece by piece, lips never separating a second longer than they had to you as you refamilarized yourselves with one another.

His fingers dug their way into your waist as he kissed you harder, singular pieces of thin material being the only things separating you and as Harrys fingers slipped down, pulling back and looking up at you for permission, your breath caught in your throat, reality hitting you like a wave.

“I can’t do this.” You whispered, fingers removing themselves from his hair as you covered your face, voice wavering as tears welled up in your eyes once again, “I-it’s all too much, too fast- I-I, I don’t think I can do this, Harry- I can’t.”

“Fuck, it’s okay.” He whispered, crawling off from on top of you, scrambling to pick his t shirt off the floor and handing to you, quickly covering your body with it, “Fuck, I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”

You nodded quickly, knees tucking into your chest as you let out soft cries, flinching as his arm came around you, going to comfort you with the soft stroke of his arm and retracted it quickly after seeing your reaction.

“I-I… I just keep seeing you and her in my head.” You whispered, “…I don’t know if I can do this.”