#i swear something that is so great about kh is that so many of us have been playing these games since we were kids

[akimojo]

theres so many sourpusses in the kh fandom that very clearly arent even into the games anymore and im just sittin here waiting for them all to get the fuck outta the fandom so the rest of us can enjoy these amazing games in peace

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

I'm only saying this anonymously because I don't want my tumblr to be connected to my Ao3, but I plan on writing a kh fic with Union Cross Characters (it's inspired by both "Dandelion Bud" and "For Those Who We Masters Have Wronged" by someone whose username I don't remember how to spell). The only issue is that I know... very little about actual KHUX lore, so I'm just going "f*ck it" and making characters related who aren't probably related (Brain and PC are siblings, and Riku is Ephemer's Great x3 or 4 nephew), and giving them personalities that are probably not canon (PC is a Gen Z before Gen Z existed, and I chose to name her Zee and make her and Brain's last name Gen, because of course I did. PC is also a gremlin of chaos who taught Ven how to swear...) and I also decided to tell you Ven and Van's reactions to seeing PC (Zee) again:

Ven: Oh God, no, Zee

Van: F*CK YEAH! ZEE!

I know even less about Dark Road, so I'm just... ignoring its existence and hoping for the best. This fic is going to be a mess, but hopefully it'll be a lovable mess

(I also have plans for an even more chaotic mess of a kh crossover that is currently running on my inspiration from another fic, my seemingly permanent dp x dc brainrot, and way too many psychology facts I've looked up just to make sure that things that happen are actually plausible things to be done by children of the traumatized kind... WRITING, EVERYONE!)

I decided to tell you this because A. I want to know Ephemer's personality and I don't physically have the patience to watch a playthrough of KHUX or all its cutscenes

And B. I thought that Ven and Van's reaction to Zee is hilarious (She actually used to "babysit" them [although it was just the older, nearly adult, keyblade wielders going "let's let Strizella, Zee, and Ven have their own little group, they're the younger kids" and Strizella having missions], and Ven does care about her [platonically], but he's also terrified of her because she'd recognize his face and she is now the youngest [something that she cheered about not being anymore when he was adopted into Ephemer, Skuld, Laurium, Elrena, Strizella, Brain, and Zee's froend group])

I just hoped that the differing reactions to Zee "I don't want to babysit a ten year old, so I'm going to be the worst influence ever" Gen being back in all her fourteen year old chaotic glory

hey, you know what? I respect this. Not everyone has the time and energy to fully absorb media to the fullest but they still have the right to enjoy certain characters and write about them. The longtime khux fan in me is just happy that people want to write about the characters, period.

I’ve seen countless fics in different fandoms where the characters are so different than how they are in canon that they’re practically ocs, but the plot and concept of the fic are absolutely amazing. In fact, the fic that got me into writing in the first place was exactly one of those. You do you, anon! Learn as much about a character as you want, or don’t. Just write to your heart’s content.

I will say this for Eph though, since you asked. I would describe him as friendly, someone you can trust. He’s inquisitive, full of ideas, and down to go pretty much anywhere if there’s something to be learned or found. And he’s full of spunk. Even if he has some doubts about his own capabilities, he’s someone you can rely on to help you out and he’ll stand by you through thick and thin.

[daybreak-academy-fanfic]

KH OC Week 2021: Day 3

Original Prompt: Loss

Summary: Day 3 for @khoc-week brings us back to Sabrina! The opening bit of today’s drabble is referencing a story I did for KHUX week in 2020, called Pinkie Swear. I’m actually quite proud how that one came so close to canon before the finale, haha! This one is a prequel of sorts to Sabrina’s new canon intro, Lost Lights. It blends in parts of the Epic Mickey games, because that’s a choice I made some years back... (And before you ask, Epic Mickey 2 is my comfort game, so it’s not because of the games themselves. We don’t ask about the other details now. We just do not.)

Word Count: 699

☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆

“I want us to make a promise. A blood pact, if you will. Since I know - - - - -, and you know - - - - -, then let’s promise to meet up after.”

“Are you really sure that it’s going to happen?”

“I would never lie about this, Sabrina. You know I wouldn’t.”

Those words haunted her while she sat down at this cutesy ice cream parlor table. They just kept repeating inside her head, as if they could lend a clue of who was talking, and just where they were meant to meet. She didn’t even know what they knew she was supposed to know either. But she tried not to think about what that could have been- the mere idea of it made her heart ache.

“Ortensia, I don’t know about this.” an anthropomorphic rabbit named Oswald said to his likewise anthro wife, the cat Ortensia. “The caverns are not an established landing zone between worlds. Then there’s the fact she was able to produce a Keyblade… There’s something screwy about her, and I don’t like it.”

“Oh nonsense, honey bunny.” Ortensia chirped. “She’s a good one, I can just tell. You could too if you just gave her a chance.”

“No way.” the rabbit disagreed- even folding his arms in defiance.

“You’ll attract more flies with honey than vinegar!” Ortensia sweetly sang before going back to the girl. Oswald couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his face. That was his sweet Ortensia- always seeing the best in others. She’d be a great mom if they ever managed to have their own one day.

All I remember is going to sleep. Was someone else with me? Why can’t I…?!

“Would you like another cup of hot chocolate, sweetie?”

The girl just looked at the cat, then carefully shook her head. Ortensia offered a kind smile as she took a seat across from the girl.

“If you ever get hungry, just let me know, alright?” the cat offered. “A pretty girl like you needs to keep up her strength. Did you ever say what your name was, dear?”

That was the one thing she was sure of.

“Sabrina. Sabrina Lillian Sidney.” There was a pause, then a small addition of, “Someone used to call me Sabi. Wabi-Sabi.”

Ortensia nodded. “That’s so sweet! Did you know that Wabi-Sabi means ‘perfection in imperfection’? Some people swear by it. Do you?”

The glare the girl gave the cat was but the first in the many more to come. Oswald saw it from where he was and snorted. It very quickly earned him the attention of the girls. There wasn’t anything the rabbit could do to defend himself, so he thought it best to walk over and take a seat next to Ortensia. Sabrina watched him before her attention drifted to something else.

“They're following me.” she said in a low voice.

“Who?” Oswald asked, being the first to react.

The girl pointed to the green and blue spirits with a scowl on her face. Oswald gave her a funny look before also turning his attention to the Guardians. Seeing them didn’t exactly assure him either. For decades, the Guardians were said to only come above ground when something big was going to happen to Wasteland. The fact that they hung so close to this girl was… alarming, to say the least.

“They won’t hurt you.” Oswald then told her. “If anything, them coming around means there’s something special about you.”

Before she could stop herself, Sabrina mumbled, “I don’t want to be special.”

At first, Oswald’s only reaction was to laugh. But when he got a good look at her, he found that she was being sincere. The realization hit his heart like a ton of bricks. This girl was… odd, to say the least. But at the same time she had nothing. She had lost her memories, possibly her old home. All she had now was a Keyblade and the Guardians following her. He’d be weirded out too if that was the only thing he knew about himself.

It took awhile, but Oswald made a choice that he would never once regret.

“Hey kid,” Oswald found himself saying, “Have you ever slept in a castle before?”

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I just want to say your blog is refreshing, I feel like too many people give Kairi crap and always being surrounded by it takes a toll. So it feels nice to see your interpretation of her also I forgot Buffy existed and now need to rewatch it

Thank you so much:) The Kairi hate is weird to me, and always has been. Like, I first liked her because she did more than the Disney princesses at her time did! She was way more assertive than most of the older ones. And her actually being a part of her boy friends' plans and wanting to do the same thing they did (and even being somewhat in charge of it, as they gave the items from the raft to her)? That was pretty unheard of to me. And she actually saved her prince! Something not even someone like Jasmine, who was a better princess at the time, really did. And she wanted to do even more for Sora and Riku.

Kairi was actually sort of a role model for me growing up, because she was one of the first characters I saw who could tease Sora, for instance, and not be called mean. Or sort of give Sora and Riku (boys!) orders, like about the raft, without being seen as bossy.

Kairi started out with a lot of promise--promise she still has to this day--and I don't get why no one sees it.

Everyone made fun of her fighting in KHII--and her "girly Keyblade"--but I was blown away by her. She did pretty dang well for someone who had never fought before. And Riku was handling himself as well as Kairi was in that scene, because people forget there is gameplay and story segregation in this series. And hating her for her Keyblade is just stupid. You CAN be feminine and strong at the same time, people.

I can MAYBE get why people hate her now, because her potential has been squandered so much. And maybe if you got into the series late and see her "always suck", you may not realize the moments where she had great potential before they were wasted. But that's not her fault. And there's still hope for her. And even what she already has is still good, even if people fail to realize that.

Kairi for sure is the most interesting character in the series to me, for all she has going for her (more than a lot of the boys that the fandom loves, of course. Like Vanitas and Zexion. Or new characters who are basically nothing, like Strelitzia. And even more than Xion and Aqua, imo. Segue: nd Naminé. Everyone has always been quick to say Naminé's a better character than her, though I still would have argued it, but now I think they're pretty equal,  with Kairi probably edging her out at this point. And Kairi has the advantage of being a fighter, in this series where you sadly pretty much need a Keyblade to stay relavent). Since she, for instance, is our only main character with a heart of pure light (Ven doesn't fully count) and a Keyblade wielder. Why, oh why, do we not get to put ourselves in her shoes and play as her to see what that's like? And other characters who don't even have pure light, like Minnie and Ven (who has half a heart. And it's pure light, as opposed to Kairi's full heart of pure light) are super strong, so why the fuck isn't she? It baffles me.

And there are such interesting things in her character arc! Like when she started remembering Sora before everyone else, and the people on the Island surely thought she was crazy (given Selphie's words). That's so interesting! Why don't people think about this kind of stuff? Granted, it's because the game really doesn't delve into this stuff, as Kairi gets the Lunafreya from FFXV treatment, where you have to look for her character. But it's there. And even if you have to look for it, I think her character is way more apparent than say Skuld's. And maybe that's not a fair argument, because the KHUX kids are the new kids on the block, who haven't had enough time to let us get to know them... but I don't know if we will get to. Because in some ways, Nomura's character writing has really suffered over time.

Kairi is NOT the worst character in the series, by far. And people who think that are wrong. And I feel people say that without even thinking about if it's true or not. Because Kairi is pretty much the Twilight of the KH series somehow: let's follow the herd and hate it, even if we ourselves haven't invested too much thought into this thing. And I think people are stuck in the past, too (and to their favoritism) and don't see how things have changed. I think that's the only explanation for saying Kairi is a worse character than Strelitzia (or Naminé, when I just explained why that might not be the case anymore), who existed for five seconds and was only created to be murdered and give Lauriam man-pain. At least even Kairi's treatment hasn't been THAT bad. And I know Strelitiza will probably come back, but that doesn't change what she was really created for. Though FYI, I hate putting the KH girls against each other:( This is hurting me.

And Kairi HAS had mini-arcs and character development, even if it's through her relationships with certain characters changing. I swear I will roast this fandom.

And I just think it's sad, where we now live an age where we give the older Disney Princesses a chance now--qnd try to delve into their psyche and situation, to really understand them and the choices they made and sympathize with them--but we somehow can't for Disney princess Kairi? Who was once even more progressive than some of them, imo?

And, yes: Buffy is great. Rewatch the heck out of it:)

Edit: Upon re-reading this, I think I maybe sound too critical on the Disney princesses and some of KH’s other girls. And I swear I’m not. Anyone who knows me realize I love and defend all female characters (especially the KH ones. Just look at my blog in order to see that). But I was just trying to compare and contrast, which is what you do to make a point. People often saying Kairi is so much worse than these girls, and I was trying to show how that isn’t the case, imo. But they all also beat her in many ways, too. That’s just how it is: like how in real life, you’re better than some people in areas, but they’re better than you in others and vice versa.

[kessielrg]

[DA+KH] Bashful

Summary: Inspired by @chibi-mushroom‘s Dragon Age AU for the Kingdom Hearts series, in which Anora (OC/KHUX Player stand-in) meets a mysterious Orlesian merchant named Brain and the duo immediately hit it off. [established Ephemer/OC][hinted Brain/OC][pre Act 1 of Dragon Age 2]

Rating: K+

Word Count: 2,015 words

If you like this story, please reblog!

-

Walking alone in Lowtown gave Anora goosebumps. No small wonder, really, what with her being a woman, and a mage, and being about the right size to simply snatch up without a second glance. She had learned by now to keep her coin in a small burlap sack, wrapped tightly around her wrist and close to her body at all times. If worse came to worse, she could use it as a makeshift weapon.

Every hawker shouting to draw attention to their pop up shops made her flinch. It was almost too loud. It was never this noisy in the Circle, and it had been even quieter at the rehabilitation retreat Ephemer had been admitted to for awhile. At least she could still be fairly invisible in Lowtown- assuming no one tried to kidnap her first. Anora did her best to avoid most of the noise. She eventually found herself at a modest stall that held some basic supplies on offer.

The young woman bit her lower lip as she looked over the potions and wares for sale. She didn't notice that the seller of these items was arranging a few more expensive items in the back. She didn't hear the sound of an odd mewling from something inside the stall, drawing the attention of the stall's proprietor. Anora still barely registered when he came to the front of the stall, looking her over without a hint of bias.

“Is there anything I can interest you with, madam?”

Despite being a gentle, warm voice, Anora nearly jumped three feet in the air. She looked up at the merchant with wide, terrified eyes. She was greeted with gentle ones staring right back at her. No shame, no judgment, just a genuine curiosity.

“Oh, no, no.” the young woman stammered, backing a little away from the stall. Her face was starting to grow hot. Why was she blushing? She wasn't that embarrassed. Was she? “I was just looking to sell some excess healing potions I had. Nothing special.”

“Is that all?” the merchant mused with a teasing grin. He fingered the tip of his fedora and tipped it to her. “Well, I could take a look at them for you. I pay pretty fair coin for a good commodity.”

Anora shrunk a little. She did say she was looking to get rid of her excess health potions. This merchant also seemed to be rather nice. When was the last time anyone was that nice to her? Even Ephemer had to hide how much he cared when he was with the other Templars. Despite herself, Anora carefully placed her burlap sack on the counter, ready for him to inspect her potions and poultices.

“Before we do business,” the merchant spoke up, offering his hand to her, “Let's introduce ourselves proper. My name is Brain.”

“Brain?” Anora repeated in surprise.

To this, the merchant gave a light chuckle. “I have many other names, but I wanted to know how that one would sound on your tongue. Ferelden, right? Kirkwall's seeing more of them by the day.”

Still unsure on why she was so bashful, Anora quickly nodded her head in agreement. Her own arm extended to accept Brain's hand shake.

“I am Anora.” she carefully said.

“The pleasure is mine, Anora.” Brain smiled; his hand gently clasped in hers, and it gave it three shakes before breaking them apart. “Now, let's see what you have in that little rucksack of yours.”

There was a polite little nod from the young woman before opening her sack of healing items. Brain let out a low whistle at the sheer quantity of them. The vials that held the potions gave off a warm, comforting glow as the vial itself revealed the bright red liquid inside. The poultices were made with just as much care; each placed inside a steel tin and wrapped with colored cloth- a date written in black ink indicating when she had made that particular poultice.

As Brain looked over everything, a cold chill ran up Anora's spine that made her look over her shoulder. It almost felt like someone was watching her. Sure, many of the Templars at Kirkwall knew she was a mage, and some were sent to watch her while Ephemer trained or was attending to his duties. But she never actually felt them watching her. Some would go out of their way just to escort her from place to place. Perhaps not kindly, but they definitely didn't hide what they were doing. None of them would try to hide from her if they were sent to watch either, come to think of it. Would they?

“These are neatly made.” Brain noted- succeeding in scaring the young woman for the second time that day. “Not perfect, of course. But pure elfroot? That stuff's in hot commodity around here. It'll be potent, if nothing else.” He then set the potion down to look her over. “Almost too potent for a tiny little waif like you. Are you trying to cure a dragon or something?”

A nervous laugh escaped Anora's lips. In a small voice she admitted, “I am the caretaker to one of the new Templar recruits.”

“Ah.” Brain nodded. “May I ask how?”

The young woman shrank a little as she shook her head. “Long story.” she told him- her voice even smaller than before. Brain observed her, slightly tipping his hat upward.

“Very well then,” he decided with a shrug, “I'll be the last person to judge a person's past.”

Anora offered a faint smile in thanks. For a moment, the merchant simply admired her before turning his attention back to her wares. There was quite a bit of silence between the two as Brain looked over everything. Possibly several moments in, Anora started to hear an odd mewling sound from inside the stand, but Brain had ignored it. The mewls grew louder until something suddenly leaped onto the shop counter.

A shriek almost escaped the young woman's lips when all she saw was something gray with black spots. Brain was immediately at attention, but in finding what had jumped up, he laughed at her. Anora took a moment to regain her breath before realizing that the creature was a snow leopard. But… much smaller; possibly not much smaller than a standard cat. It didn't seem like a kitten, though, and it certainly looked like the pictures of adult leopards in the zoology books back in the Circle. Her demeanor easily went from surprised horror to complete bewilderment.

“Are you afraid of animals?” Brain teasingly asked her, petting the snow leopard.

“I... had a sheltered childhood.” Anora informed him with a wary voice. “But I don't remember leopards being so… tiny, though.”

Brain gave her a little smirk, giving the little leopard a rather absent stroke along its back.

“Ragnar's a special case.” he told her with a bemused voice. “All the fun protective natures of a snow leopard, scaled down to nothing more than the size of a house cat. If you'll believe it, he was the largest of his litter.”

Anora cocked an eyebrow at him, turning her attention back to the small creature. At the time, the snow leopard, Ragnar, turned its attention to her as well. The pygmy leopard left its master to better scope out the newcomer. It sniffed at Anora with interest- something that she tried rather hard not to recoil at. When Ragnar started to rub his head against Anora, the young woman very carefully started to pet him. Ragnar seemed to enjoy this; a small purring noise could be heard from the creature.

“Huh.” the merchant wondered. He placed a hand at the back brim of his hat, tilting it upwards a bit. “He doesn't usually take to strangers that easily. Must really like you...”

“Is that bad?”

Brain looked up at her- a small twinkle shown in his eye as he said, “No. Not at all. It just means that you're destined for great things.”

Anora's eyes grew wide as she looked up at Brain. “Y-you're joking!” she stammered. It was a bit hard to tell, but there was a small blush placed on her cheeks from embarrassment. “You're just saying that!”

Brain let out a light chuckle, throwing up a hand in promise. “Swear on my life it's the truth.” he told her. “And on the official adoption certificate from the Black Emporium. Would you like to see it?”

“No thanks...”

“Suit yourself.” Brain teased with a shrug. “Now, where were we before getting so rudely interrupted...”

Brain continued to go through what Anora had brought with her. As he pulled out a piece of vellum, an inkwell, and a feathered pen to write out a receipt of sale, Ragnar gave a disinterested stretch before deciding to take a nap on the counter. Anora kept her attention more focused on the little snow leopard than to Brain- who was trying to tell her how much coin he was about to give her. He laughed when he caught her near grimace, and he didn't break her thoughts as he gently placed what he owed her into her sack.

“Well,” he finally announced as he tied off the sack for her, “I suppose we're done here. It was nice doing business with you, Anora.”

That finally got Anora out of her trance. Was it really time for them to depart so soon?

“How much longer are you going to be at Kirkwall?” she asked, almost a bit too quickly.

“I might be around for another week or two.” he said to her. “I've finally found good help with my main shop in Val Royeaux, so I'm not expected back immediately. If I give them a fair enough warning, I could linger behind for a bit longer.” Brain then tilted his head at her and gave her a sly smile. “Why?”

Anora immediately looked away. “I-I...” she started to stammer, “I was just curious. It gets rather boring waiting for E- my Templar to finish with his training or duties.”

“You can't wait by Templar Hall for him?”

“Another long story.” Anora bitterly informed him. Brain gave an understanding nod in agreement.

“Business in Lowtown is usually pretty slow.” he then informed her. “Perhaps I could put in a request to change locations to the Gallows for the rest of my stay. Those Templars are always buying potions and such- I might actually turn a profit for once.”

Anora's eyes widened in surprise. “You don't have to do that!” she said. But the merchant only laughed.

“Anora-bird, if the street walkers around here were half as pretty as you, I'd reconsider. But as it stands, I could use a change of location. Perhaps we'll meet up again soon. Who knows in a backwards town like this?”

Again feeling her face heat up in a humble bashfulness, Anora offered Brain a polite little nod. She once more wrapped her burlap sack tightly around her wrist -now a bit heavier from the coin he had given her- before starting to head back. The young woman barely looked up as she scurried to Lowtown's main entrance- and it was by accident that she bumped into someone on the way out. She looked up at who she had run into, and nearly staggered back in a horrified shock.

“Knight-Commander!” Anora gasped. “I-I didn't see you...”

The Knight-Commander did not answer her. Instead, he chose to glare at her with an unreadable expression. Anora let out a nervous laughter as she moved away from him, hurrying back to Templar Hall. With an arched eyebrow, Sephiroth watched her leave before turning his attention to Brain. The merchant, who had been observing Anora for a moment as she parted, had turned his attention to the poultices and potions she had given him. As he admired the slightly glowing mixtures in their bottles, he absently gave his pygmy snow leopard strokes along its back. At this, Sephiroth's eyebrows furrowed.

“Interesting.” he decided, in monotone, before also making his way back to Templar Hall. “Very interesting indeed.”

[jokahlu]

Kingdom Hearts 3 Ted Talk, Kairi’s Edition (More like rant) (Will contain spoilers)

*Warnings*

While reading the following post you should expect:

*Spoilers are ahead.

*Duality of emotions clashing between love and frustration.

*A certain mouse’s head will be expected in a platter, and he will be the source of the darkness coming out of me.

*Love for a character that deserved way more than what she got.

*Deep disappointment for a forgotten friendship that was non-existent.

*A sailing ship warmed my heart.

*And an ending that shattered it.

…So it’s basically me ranting at how SE treats Kairi.

Also, it’s a pretty long read. I tried to make it short. Oh well.

Enjoy.

*Read at your own discretion*

I’m so wrecked after this game. But don’t get me wrong, I loved it!

The graphics were superb, their expressions on point, the writing and humor, the landscapes and worlds. It was all so precious. Being able to play as the spiked hair little bundle of joy again after so long was truly like coming home.

But as much as I loved it, there are so many things that rubbed me the wrong way. So many things I hoped for, that seemed reasonable and not out of the realm of possibilities, but never happened.

I will not mention all of them here because I could write an entire essay about it. Reason why I’ll try not to get overly excited. Underline try.

This time I will mostly talk about Kairi. 

Let’s do this quick, shall we?

First of all, I need that mouse’s head on a platter.

I wish Aqua would’ve given Mickey a good beating in this game. Don’t get me wrong, I usually like Mickey and his character in the KH franchise is pretty cool. But I hated his disregard to Kairi in this game. It just made me want to scream. Yes, he’s not the only one who doesn’t give a damn about the redhead (more on that lovely subject later), but I felt like he valued other’s life above hers in a blatantly obvious way. There are two scenes where I noticed this and it made me want to crawl up the walls.

The first scene was when Kairi is about to be struck down by Terranort, after him discarding two experienced fighters with a little more than a flick of his wrist, mind you. So, of course she’s scared and paralyzed, like any normal keyblade wielder (with only basic training and no real experience) would be. As Sora is desperately running to shield her with nothing but his body, Mickey uselessly screams “Sora no!”, as Donald and Goofy use their brains (and weapons) and come to the rescue.

What gives Mickey? Is she that unimportant in your mind, that Sora shouldn’t even try to help her? Did you honestly expect Sora to just let her die? Because if Terranort struck her, she was toast.

But I guess the answer is yes, because the other scene that made me want to strangle him was when Sora wants to go and save her and Mickey is trying to convince him not to go. I bet if it was Minnie on the line he would be jumping into lava if it meant to save her. But Kairi? Nah.

I swear I would’ve wanted Minnie to be next to Kairi and both be destroyed by Master Xehanort, just to see if Mickey’s reaction would be any different and if he would also risk it all at the end to save her instead of being like “oh don’t go Sora, you may never come back. Just leave Kairi to die, we can lose her but not you” attitude. Geez.

Love for a character that deserved better.

Oh, I could go one and on, on this one. It’s divided in many categories because the whole rant can be resumed in: she deserved better.

I’ll point out the obvious: I’ve always loved Kairi.

Yeah, she’s underdeveloped, not well written and can’t seem to shake the damsel in distress coat off, but I’ve always liked her. I’ve always felt Sora and Riku’s love for her real and heartwarming, and that’s made me like her so much. She’s also super brave, witty and has a great personality (don’t fight me on this)

I do get why some people might not like her, but I do.

Kingdom Hearts games have always treated her like a plot device and nothing more, and kh3 was the worst of the bunch in my opinion.

No one seems to care about her except for Sora.

When everyone reunites after Kairi dies, the only one who says something to him to reassure and confort Sora, apart from Donald and Goofy, is Xion. The rest are like oh ok she died, what’s next? I was expecting for Axel to be pissed, sad, anything, or anyone commenting something about it, but they just disregarded it like nothing happened.

Even if I understand that Terra, Aqua, Ven, Roxas, even Xion, didn’t know her that well and I didn’t expect it to affect them, at least they should acknowledge their fallen comrade. But ok, they didn’t know her that well. But Axel and Riku virtually not giving a damn? It really made things worse for my already wrecked heart. Those two are her closest friends, aside from Sora..

Even when the final battle is over everyone is like “wohoo we won! it’s all over!” (I’m glaring at you mouse) and even Riku agrees, Sora is the only one who is sad and heartbroken for her dying. Speaking of Riku basically disregarding her death..

Deep disappointment for a forgotten friendship that was basically non-existent.

Saying that I was disappointed in Kairi and Rikus interactions is a mayor understatement. This broke my heart because my highest hope for kh3 was to see Riku and Kairi being friends. Like, real friends.

In kh1 he was all over protecting her, in kh2 he silently looked after her and kept her safe as much as he could, but kh3? Man, in this game they felt like borderline strangers to me. Even faced by her being murdered in front of his face, he just stood there kind of surprised and pissed. Nothing more.

Seriously?

I mean Master Xehanort had just cold-bloodedly killed her right then and there, and he didn’t react as if his childhood friend had just turned into dust. 

And even worse, when the final battle ended he didn’t even offer to go with Sora to save her. What the hell?

If it was Sora who had died, there is no doubt in my mind that he would’ve been fighting his way to save him, consequences be dammed. (And it’s what probably happens when Kairi comes home alone, smh) And that reaction would be right because they’re best friends and that how any of the other characters would react if one of their trio was killed and they had the chance to save them.

So why did it seem like he didn’t care at all? It hurts a lot.

Where is the Riku who’s last worlds for Sora were asking him to keep Kairi safe? The one who helped her escape Axel or shielded her from Saix?

Riku felt off to me in Kingdom Hearts 3, not only because of this, but I’ll leave that for my Riku rant.

Kairi’s performance in the final battle

Not everyone has to kick ass to be valid, and she tried her best to train and help, even when it was not something she was used to. 

I mean, come on! Her first real experiences in battle were in the final battle. Who the hell thought it was a good idea? She had only trained with Axel. So, of course she would freeze when she sees trained/experienced keyblade wielders being thrown all over the place. Even Sora didn’t take out his weapon, trying to save her in the rush of the moment. And even if she did take out her keyblade when Terranort attacked her, she would’ve been smashed against the wall like Axel.

I’ll admit that before kh3 was released, I wished she did become OP and beat some organization XIII butt, but as I advanced in the game I realized how ridiculous that is. If you put kh1 Riku and Sora in that scenario, even at the end of the game with all the experience they had gathered, I bet they wouldn’t have fared very differently.

What I truly want is for her to go on her own adventure and grow powerful at her own pace, so in the next big battle she’ll be fairly prepared. It would be better if that adventure was with Sora and Riku, exploring new worlds together just the three of them, like they dreamed about in kh1.

But I’ll say it again: Not everyone in the game must kick ass to be valid.

A sailing ship warmed my heart. Even if it was poorly written (Unsurprisingly. It involves Kairi so I expected as much)

The Sokai in the game honestly lifted my battered heart.

Sora grows to learn so much more of love in this game: how powerful true love can be, how if you truly believe, love can make miracles happen and that one day is enough if there is true love.. He even admits that he still doesn't know much about it, but as the story goes on we can see that he knows more than he believes.

I loved the paopu scene. I could totally imagine Kairi and Riku planning it beforehand, so that Kairi and Sora would be alone to do so. Key word being “imagine” because at this point, their friendship is only in my imagination.. but that will be saved for Riku’s rant..

I believe that it’s so in character that Kairi initiates the paopu scene, because Sora would never do so. But I loved it, and the way they looked at each other was so.. oh man this game.

The paopu moment did seem to make Sora bolder, touching her more than before and being blunter about how she makes him feel. And it’s so heartwarming and wholesome that the moment when Sora realizes Kairi’s light had been guiding him in the darkness, he remembers the two acts of true love he had witnessed before in the game: Rapunzel’s tear bringing Flynn back to life and Elsa and Ana’s scene as well. I believe that’s the moment when he realizes that she’s his True Love.. 

That moment when he finds her in the darkness, and he makes her shy when he tells her that he felt strong with her, smiling knowingly when she turns away embarrassed. Or holding her hand for longer than necessary when they go back with the others.

It’s amazing that after meeting so many new people, many gorgeous girls and guys, Sora’s heart hasn’t let go of the friend he fell for as kids. He loved her for her personality and heart, which is why their bond is so strong, even if they see each other less than before.. which is a massive understatement if I must say so myself.  

That heart wrenching scream when she was taken into the heartless tornado or his grief-stricken face as he screamed at Master Xehanort “Why”, are proof of just how deep his feelings for her are. How important and invaluable she is in his life.

Adding to this, his utter sacrifice to go save her as soon as possible, not enjoying his victory against Master Xehanort, and not making her wait one more second (his words, not mine) is a statement of his feelings for her, simple and clear (thought I would say clean did ya?)

I mean, come on! His first thought after killing that murderous bald sack of darkness was about her.

And at the end I love how they were holding hands and sitting so close to each other on the paopu tree (They’re definitely a couple now) before he vanished and shattered my heart in a million different pieces.

Speaking of which..

An ending that shattered my heart.

I feel like her dying was very unnecessary. I think that it was only for Sora to embark on a mission alone. Master Xehanort says that he lacks motivation, so he kills her (she’s being used as a plot device again dammit) but Sora clearly was going to fight him either way, motivation or not. 

So, killing Kairi was only for Sora to go alone at the end, leave the story inconclusive and the game, and players, in dire need of a sequel.

Before the secret ending had been added, I was super sad that the only person who truly cared for her had seemingly died, or vanished, but now we know he’s someplace else, looking for a way back to her. I would love for her to save him, but given how SE treats her, I think I’ll temper my expectations for her in the next installments of the games.

This game left me with a super bittersweet feeling, but it was definitely worth it! I won’t let SE and the character’s indifference towards Kairi affect my overall enjoyment of the game.

But let’s hope she gets to shake that damsel in distress title Nomura loves to give her.. I guess I can’t keep my expectations low for her, can I?

Oh well, Sora still need to give her her lucky charm back, which she gave back in Blank Points, so he needs to come back to her to return it.

Please SE let Kairi help save Sora this time, without being a burden. Thank you.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[anime-grimmy]

Favourite Gaming Soundtracks of the 2010s

It’s the end of another decade and what a decade it’s been. So much has changed in “just” 10 years, so many cool things have happened, so many amazing games have been released. Since it’s the end of the year I thought I could talk about some things that are dear to my heart. I love music and with so many dope games came just as amazing soundtracks. So, I just wanna let out my thoughts for my favourites. This is not really ranked, but I’ll tell you which my favs are from my favs.

But first, some “honorable mentions” for soundtracks I really enjoy, even though I’ve never played these games.

-        Dark Souls / Bloodborne Mystic and gritty, but strangely calming from time to time

-        Hollow Knight It came coming on with YT Autoplay and to be honest, I can’t complain. All in all a great soundtrack

-        Persona 5 Dude, talk about style. It’s not quite my type of game, but holy fuck, the music is my JAM

-        God of War (2018) I DID play this game and I loved it, but the soundtrack didn’t really stick out to me THAT much. Some tracks are downright bone-chilling and epic, but it didn’t have such a big impact on me all in all.

 Anyways, on with my list.

Pokemon Sword and Shield

I’m gonna start with a recent one since it’s still fresh in my mind.

I always liked the Pokemon Soundtracks. Though most of the time simplistic, some tracks just have such iconic melodies. However, from Sinnoh onwards, I started liking single tracks more than the soundtrack as a whole. For example. even though most people say Cynthia has the best Champion theme, I can agree an the melody being amazing, but for me, the theme is so loaded, I don’t like it (best Champion theme is still Lance). Alola, for me, started having an upcurve on the soundtrack. I liked it as a whole, though I can’t really remember what exactly stood out to me.

Now Sword and Shield. Dudes, keep going on that route, your OST is amazing. I’ll be honest, the BEST thing of this game is the soundtrack. All have this kinda sporty/cheery sound and even though, let’s say, the normal battle theme isn’t that of a banger, the number of amazing single themes is just so high. Bede’s theme is basically the only thing I like about him, Marnie’s has such a cool tune (and all the metal covers on YT, BRO) and even if many people don’t like Hop’s theme, I really dig it. Some parts remind me of Mirror B.s theme, I dunno why.

And then you have my fav tracks, Rose’s Final Fantasy theme, Toby’s amazing Battle Tower theme AND THE GYM BATTLE MUSIC. I really didn’t like the gym leader theme at first but while playing the game, after each gym leader, it got me more and more stoked when the battle began.

All in all, Pokemon Sword and Shield has an overall enjoyable soundtrack. Filled with bangers, for me it made the game itself so much better.

Animal Crossing

Though I haven’t played the game in a long time, I still listen to the music.

Animal Crossing is just laid out to be this chill and calming ensemble of melodies. And it works. When I’m stressed or have to work on stuff I don’t want to, I usually just put on Animal Crossing music. It calms me and just gives me this warm and fuzzy feeling. It also helps when I have problems sleeping.

A soundtrack to just lie back, close your eyes and just enjoy life.

Legend of Zelda – Breath of the Wild

Continuing with calm music, let’s talk about my favourite Switch title.

This game often gets flag for “having no music” or too little of it. I know where you’re coming from, but I just think the limited use of the soundtrack makes you appreciate it even more. The moments when the music is used is carefully chosen and that makes it special. Be it the few piano notes that play while the day goes on, the little notification that you’ve entered a new area, the unexpected high energy when you’re fighting (most of all bosses) or the indescribable fear you feel when a Guardian spots you.

There are a few favourite moments I have of the game.

First is the start, when you first leave the cave, run out and this vast landscape opens before you. Just those few piano notes made me all excited for this new adventure. Like dawn is breaking.

The first time I rode on a horse over this wide field and suddenly, the music starts swelling. It was almost magical, the music rising just like my excitement.

The last thing I love is the difference between being in villages and outside. When I noticed that you always have some kind of melody playing when you’re in a settlement it dawned on me how quiet it was outside of them. I love this contrast between being alone in the wilderness with all the quiet and the sudden swell in music when you’re with other people.

This OST amazes me with how much emotion it can convey with often just the smallest amount of notes. An amazing soundtrack for just as an amazing game.

Super Mario Odyssey

So, last Nintendo game on this list, I swear.

This one is a small surprise, but at the same time, it really isn’t. I’ve never really been a fan of the main Mario games, they just aren’t really my thing. (the spin-offs are my jam). However, I’ve always enjoyed Mario’s music. The upbeat tunes really get stuck in your head and the melodies are always so recognizable. Heck, my favourite OST was from Super Mario Sunshine back in the day!

With Odyssey, I really enjoyed both the game and the soundtrack aspect. The worlds are colourful and the gameplay is super fun. Combine that with the stellar soundtrack and the game was such a fun experience, it’s definitely in my top 10. But what I really enjoyed is the diversity of the track. When you listen to the soundtrack on Youtube and you just click on two different parts of the video, I can guarantee that they’ll probably sound completely different but at the same time somehow coherent. The best tracks, in my opinion, are the upbeat ones for sure. The feeling of excitement and adventure just swells so much it’s amazing.

Then you’ve got “Jump up Superstar”. I fucking love this song. It’s so much fun, has such a great tune which gets stuck in your head and the lyrics are so easy to sing along. All things I love in a song. I actually listened to the song on repeat before I even got the game and I couldn’t wait to get to New Donk City to LIVE the song. And I wasn’t disappointed, it was one if not the best moments in the game.

Great game, great soundtrack, 100% fun.

Bravely Default / Bravely Second

(technically on a Nintendo Console, but whatev) I’m just gonna lump this two together, since BS’s the sequel.

Now, JRPGs aren’t really my thing. They often take too long for my tastes, I can’t for the life of me concentrate on the story and characters and after some time they just get stale for me. But now and then, I pick up a series I actually finish and that was Bravely Default and Second. I think I just have such a huge soft spot for the series cause of the art style/atmosphere and the fact that I played 8 hours straight of BD on a flight from Canada home.

I haven’t played the games in forever but when I think about what I like about them, there are 3 things I always think about: characters, art style and soundtrack. The songs might sound generic to most, but to me, with my little knowledge of JRPGs, find them quiet unique. It does at some points remind me of Final Fantasy but I think something just makes the tracks just sound like Bravely, though I can’t put my finger on it.

I don’t know the names of the themes, but even now there are just certain tracks which I link to a certain reaction. Like “oh no, not them again” or “Now shit is getting down”. Or every time the main theme plays, I get absolutely pumped.

Haven’t played the games in forever, but the soundtrack’s still in my mind.

Kingdom Hearts

From one RPG to the next, here’s a very special soundtrack. Kingdom Hearts is a franchise near and dear to my heart. It’s one of the first, if not THE first, RPG I ever played. I just get so nostalgic with this game. I can just remember watching my brother playing KH2, seeing two characters from my favourite franchise run around with this spiky haired boy with this stupidly big key. So much stuff happened I didn’t even understand back then, but just seeing these animated characters laugh and cry and go on this grand adventure, little me was mesmerized.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t too happy with KH3. I’ve waited so long for it, just like hundreds of other people, but the end product just, I dunno, lacked the heart it used to. One thing however didn’t, the soundtrack. As sad I was to not enjoy the game as a whole as much as I wanted to, the soundtrack became one of my instant favourites. It sounds grandiose and has so much emotion. Each track sounds amazing but the OST really shines in its more calm and beautiful themes and its epic ones.

My favourite songs are the serene ones, however. “Sincerely Beloved” and the other Utada songs are some of my favourite songs ever and I can’t tell you how close I came to crying with the Sea Salt Icecream Trios themes. Heck, I played Xion’s theme back in the day on the piano and I still can play it now.

As much as KH has gone down in heart, the soundtrack stands up there as one of the best, much thanks to Utada Hikaru as well. It will always be important to me and just reminds me of my childhood. Some very fond memories.

Undertale

Well, let’s get outta the nostalgia feel and turn it up a bit!

Ah, Toby Fox, you madlad. Creating such a great game and subverting so many expectations. Undertale really had a big impact on the gaming scene but for me, the soundtrack really lasted. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the characters and story very much, but I still listen to the soundtrack regularly.

Undertale’s OST is comprised of sad, melancholic, upbeat and downright hype tunes. It has a wide spectrum but Toby Fox really does know how to push Leitmotif. All themes kind of flow great into each other but still manage to stand out and are recognizable. Each character theme fits the character perfectly and I love how their themes usually have some melodies/instruments from the area they’re in. And speaking of areas, as much as I love the character themes I just might prefer the atmosphere tracks even more. I mean, “Snowdin” just sounds like this super laid back, cute little town, “Home” is such a calming song and “It’s raining somewhere else” has such mystique. And, of course, the fact that the tracks have character/plot relevance is just amazing.

Not to mention, Toby Fox created one of the best Meme songs in existence.

Love the game, love the soundtrack even more and I’ll listen to “Death by Glamour” til I die.

Horizon Zero Dawn

I’m so happy I picked up this game. I never bought it cos A, I feel overwhelmed by open world games, and B, it COSTS SO MUCH. But I found it for half the prise and I bought it right before exam week. I know, smart move.

But anyways, the soundtrack. There aren’t any tracks that really stand out to me but I just like it as a whole. It’s such an atmospheric OST and when listening to it as BG music you just HEAR where you are, which tribe you’re in, what you probably did in the game when it played.

And that’s actually a big factor. All in all, I don’t think it’s such a special OST. It sounds great, most tracks are solid, but what really makes it shine is how much it enhances the experience of the game. The gameplay and story are great, but the OST just makes everything so much better, with setting the tone and atmosphere and all that.

I could go on and on about this game, but the soundtrack can be shaved down to a few words. Solid, great and atmospheric.

Monster Hunter World / Iceborne

So, I’ll drop this to second to last because I already made a super long analysis of the soundtrack. I’ll link it here.

https://anime-grimmy.tumblr.com/post/188601659768/some-monster-hunter-ramblings-possible-spoilers

But to put it simply, this is probably my favourite soundtrack at the moment. I just haven’t experienced so many emotions while listening to an OST since a certain game that’s next on the list. I still can’t listen to “Succession of Light” without almost crying (who am I kidding, I cry every time). I dunno why, but so many tracks make me feel such a barrage of emotions, be it excitement for adventure, hype for the hunt or just simply a childlike wonder.

Simply a great soundtrack that will be on top for a long time.

Okami

Technically a game from 2006, but the PS4 version came out like 2017 and I REALLY WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS GAME.

This is my absolute favourite game of all time. Since I played it first when I was about 9 years old, I just really loved this game. I replayed it more times than I can count and dude, I speedrun this game in record time.

For people who don’t know this game, you play as the Sun God Amaterasu, who has been summoned in the body of a white wolf. You job is to banish the evil from Nippon. To say this game awakened my fondness of Japanese culture is, well, spot on. I’ve played this game before I even knew what anime was. The atmosphere, style, themes and mostly the music mesmerized me. It was all so, well, foreign. Even nowadays it stands out from anything else I’ve played.

But on to the OST. Next to it being just amazing in general, it just is so Japanese and that’s what has always stuck out to me. I grew up with very traditional and classical music, back then I didn’t even listen to English/American music. So to hear these melodies and instruments that just sound so unfamiliar was very intriguing. And that just topped of the already amazing tracks. Okami does a great job of having super epic, exciting but also sombre and atmospheric music. It’s also very animated and comedic with it’s use of music. So, the mix of foreign sounds and great timing of amazing tracks just makes the experience all so much more memorable.

Even after 10+ years, Okami never gets boring and no matter how much I play it, the moment I face a boss and the epic music swells, or the moment a calm scene passes and the melody slows, my heart fills with emotion and I’m so glad I played it again.

Well, that’s that! I know it probably often sounds kind of sappy, but music is very special and important to me. If music doesn’t evoke emotions in me, I don’t care about it, even if it sounds great. For me it’s important that, when I listen to a soundtrack, I can remember the game or the scene it played in and the emotions I felt in that moment.

Soundtracks are supposed to make a emotional connection between you and the game and that’s why they are essential. At least that’s how I see it.

Anyways, if you made it this far, I bow my head to you. Thanks for reading and I hope you could somehow share my perspective of these games’ soundtrack. Feel free to tell me about your fav tracks!

 It’s been a nice decade, enjoy the rest of 2019!

[excusemewhileiplaykh]

Who is the Riku at the end of Re:Coded?

In my previous post (found here), I suggested the Riku we see in San Fransokyo is actually Data Riku and provided some evidence as to how and why that is possible.

I now want to bring attention to the weird hooded Riku we see at the end of Re:Coded in Data Castle Oblivion.

This Riku does not reveal his face, which is weird because we have already seen Data Riku. We know he looks like KH 1 Riku. Why obscure his face now?

He then shows Sora a scene from KH 1 from Riku’s perspective. Particularly a scene in which this Riku says he and Kairi were in pain. He calls this scene a “hidden truth”, that will help Sora in the future

He then shows Sora a scene supposedly from KH 1, from Riku’s perspective

I say supposed because we never do see Riku or Kairi at the clock tower, it is possible this could even be a manufactured memory (thanks to @icing-on-the-icecream for pointing this out to me)

Moreover, it does not make sense for Data Riku to have access to a memory not within the journal. Only the real Riku (or even the Replica) would know about this.

But then again... the Journal contains a Data Roxas... and a Data Namine... who had access to both Sora and Riku’s memories... And Sora and Data Sora are weirdly connected so maybe Data Riku and Riku are equally co-

Idk anymore guys.

Additionally, in Data Castle Obvilion, it would make sense for Data Riku to be able to manipulate Sora’s memories and present to him fake memories sorta like Namine in the real Caste Oblivion. Again, as Jiminy’s Journal itself, Data Riku can manipulate the Data.

So let’s assume this memory is organic. What is it’s purpose?

Let’s look at what Data Riku tells Sora about it.

“You will”

As if this has yet to happen. Why? Why does he use the future tense? The events of KH 1 are behind them. Even Data Sora refers to these events in past tense.

“I was on a journey to find you guys”

Idk either, Roxas

In this post, I had suggested that this Riku was from the future sent to set Data Sora on the path to become Sora in KH 1 (you gotta... just read the whole theory to get what I mean. I swear it holds some truth)

This could possibly still be true, but I want to address the question I asked at the start of this post.

“Why obscure his face now?”

In my previous post on this hooded Riku, I thought he was an older Riku, maybe even KH 3 Riku.

I do still think he’s one of the Riku’s we see in KH 3...  I believe that the Data Riku we see in KH 3 and the hooded Riku are connected.

I think that at some point after Sora entered Castle Oblivion, Data Riku could have been Norted. This would explain why his face is obscured. To hide the yellow eyes.

We should also note that we do not see Data Riku after he tells Mickey & co that Data Castle Oblivion is now available. He isn’t present after the events of Data Castle Oblivion at all. Weird.

Again, I still cannot explain exactly how he would have been Norted, but I think there is enough weirdness around this Riku in Re:Coded and possibly KH 3 to suggest something happened to him.

Also keep in mind, that in DDD we know the Organization is aware of the Datascape. DDD occurs directly after Re:Coded...

In the next post, I want to explore Data Riku in KH 3 a bit more and offer some more insight as to what is going on with him. Especially in reference to Toy Box, other scenes in San Fransokyo...

and even Kairi.

Edit: As I was finishing this post, @blowingoffsteam2 made a great addition to my original post (which you can read here)

I could also be that the Data Riku in KH 3 is also a copy of the one we see in Re:Coded. There are so many questions surrounding him.

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 15

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Chapter 10, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): Two months. It took me two months to write this chapter. I... I’m honestly kinda surprised at myself...

Umm... I didn’t intend on writing this chapter so early, it was meant to be dragged on for a while more and has kind of a big time jump in it (for plot reasons, trust me), but I mean... the fuck with it. The world deserves some BAMF Emile, we need some cuddles, and the subject of the first... three fourths of this chapter is one that I went to friends from a discord server with and told them I’m trying to make it really subtle and one of them just went, “This isn’t subtle at all, this shit is jumping off the walls and doing somersaults in front of me.”

So I mean... let’s get this over with! Let’s let the cat halfway out of the bag and have the first Emile-centered chapter of many, many others planned.

Thanks as always go to @whatwashernameagain for KHS and for not geting super extra frustrated with all my weird questions, to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for being my guinea pig most of the time and for the original idea, and to @winglessnymph and @asleepybisexual and @anony-phangirl for sticking with me and my insane ideas from the beginning (and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you shit about this chapter, but y’all knew it was coming).

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @ilovemygaydad, @violetblossem, @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch, @thatrandomautist

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). Not as much in here, actually in this chapter it’s pretty non-existent, but this trigger warning goes in every chapter. This chapter also includes Holocaust mentions, discussion of mental health, and that’s honestly about it I think but please let me know if there’s anything I missed.

—————

Wednesday, March 19th, 2003

"Do you understand why I asked you to come here today?" Gilliam asked, clicking a pen.

Emile was frozen in his seat.

"Umm…" Emile's leg started shaking. "Is it about my last project…? I swear I really did read everything I said I—"

"Look…" Gilliam sighed. "You're a fantastic student. Really, Emile. You are one of my best students. But… I gotta say, you remind me of myself, and not in a good way."

"What do you mean…?"

"Do you mind if we went over your last test?" Emile nodded, feeling the heavy sensation in his stomach get even stronger.

"The last test I took was the implicit…"

"Your last written test," Gilliam clarified. "The one in December." He pulled out a folder labeled and decorated with a mint green marker.

‘Emile Picani - 2002/3'

"Your answers were great," Gilliam said with a sad smile as he pulled out the last test from the back of the folder. "They just didn't fit the questions. Look here, define four of the following five Gestalt Laws of Organization."

"I defined four of the following five Gestalt Laws—"

"You explained them, Emile. Define and explain are two very different instructions. I've been there too, kid. I know it's confusing." Emile wanted to vanish right then and there. It wasn't… he was trying his best! "Also, question eight, part c, why do we dream?" The doctor started underlining the question with his pen, thankfully closed. "Take one of the proposed theories and provide one way in which this may be supported."

"But… but I did—"

"Part d, take the same theory from part c and provide a way in which it might be refuted."

Well… they were going to kick him out, weren't they.

"You're a very smart kid, Emile Picani. I'll bet you so many people told you you have such potential and all that… I know it's very frustrating." Gilliam pushed Emile's glasses up, wiping his eyes from unshed tears in the process. It was… somewhat calming. "Did anyone ever suggest that you might have ADHD?"

Emile shook his head. That possibility… well, he didn't want it to be a possibility! Sure, it wasn't the end of the world if he did, but… his parents didn't have to pay for more adderall than necessary, their neighbors didn't need any more reasons to call his mom a drug addict! And… the counselor at his high school had to be right. He was stupid… wasn't he? Learning disabilities just made you stupid…

He was useless. Regardless of what his professor thought.

"Getting into university at seventeen years old is no easy fit," Gilliam kept rambling. "I remember Walter reading your essay to me—"

"Walter?"

"...oh, right! Professor Freeman." Emile's eyes darkened a bit, as if he already knew what was about to be said. Gilliam just laughed. "Yeah, he immigrated from Germany in the late forties I think… poor guy. Changed his last name and everything! Yeah… so anyway, he read your essay to me. We fought a lot of people to have you accepted! I just… I have to ask you. Have you ever had issues like that in school?"

Emile nodded.

"And not in school?"

"I… I guess, yeah… why?"

Gilliam just pulled a light purple post-it note, scribbled something on it, scribbled the same thing again after opening his pen, and handed it to the very confused Emile.

"I said it before, but this time I mean it even more than last time. Go to the psych clinic. I'll write you a referral if you find it hard to talk to them, just let me know, but in my opinion you really should get evaluated for ADHD."

As Emile got up to leave, he fiddled with the note in his hands. It was… he was…

Was he really going to do that…?

"Austria," he mumbled as he reached the door.

"Excuse me?"

"Dr. Freeman is Austrian, not German. It can be confusing, I know. His family immigrated in 1947. And his last name is Landau. He never changed it, he just goes by Freeman for teaching because nobody liked the ‘Germans' post-Holocaust."

"Did he tell you that…?"

"You said he read you my essay, I thought you guessed already."

He was sure he left Gilliam baffled. But it didn't help the sinking feeling in his stomach any.

————

"I can't have it," Emile mumbled against Remy's chest, the note semi-safely in his pocket. "I don't want to!"

"Emmy, gurl, you realize you're making a huge deal out of nothing, right?" Remy laughed. "It's ADHD. It's not terminal cancer."

That made Emile cry even harder.

"No, no… Emile, it's gonna be alright. I promise. Okay? You trust me?"

"My uncle would be so disappointed," Emile whispered. "He's the reason I'm here! And… and I'm disappointing him so much!"

"You're a legacy, sweets?"

"Kinda… I guess." He sniffled. Remy felt his heart break even more, and for what? A mental disorder, a learning disability, a small neurological difference that only made him (in Remy's opinion) even more awesome? "I don't want him to… to lose his status... especially not because of me! He worked so hard to get a teaching position and I don't want to be his downfall!"

"Who's this uncle, sweetie? If you having ADHD will be his downfall he's probably not such a good—"

"Doctor Landau— Umm, Doctor Freeman. He's my mom's uncle."

Remy was… needless to say he was speechless.

"Which Freeman are we talking about, love?"

"Head of psychology, Doctor Walter Freeman."

...his name is LANDAU?!

"...so after about six months of knowing you, you finally decide to tell me that you're the great-nephew of the head of department?!" Emile giggled against Remy's chest. He couldn't believe it! "Scandalous! Preposterous! Un-be-fucking-lievable! Emile!"

"I swear that's not how I got in," Emile muttered happily. "I wrote an essay, I swear I did!"

"Okay, but still, gurl, that's not a secret! It's too big to be called a secret."

"There's no such a thing as too big a secret," Emile said in a near-perfect imitation of Freeman's accent, and then giggled again. "And besides, it wasn't a secret. You never asked!"

"My love, when I die, I want you to tell my dad that I loved him," Remy said in an overly dramatic tone, pretending to faint right there on the couch. "Give all my possessions to Leah—"

"Stop it, you drama queen!"

"Oh, I'm a queen, alright."

The conversation was interrupted by Katherine doing as Katherine does - which today meant running from her room to the kitchen, grabbing an orange and running right back, as if not to be seen - but as soon as she disappeared, Emile broke into an even bigger giggle fit.

"My aunt would be so disappointed if she knew I was crying over this," he said at last, calming down from his laughing fit. "Caroline is the harsher one of them, and… and she used to visit Evanston every couple months when my mom was in university to help her get through her degree and raise my sister. My mom had my sister really young, you know? She and my dad were nineteen, and… okay, sorry, I'm getting sidetracked…"

"Please keep talking, love," Remy told him gently, with a soft smile and a pat on the head. "I can go make you some more tea if you'd like before we continue?"

"No, that's alright! Maybe later!" The blond almost threw himself off the couch in excitement. "I actually think… I think I should talk to them about this… I mean, Caroline would almost certainly get mad at me for thinking it'll ruin his career, and Walter would help me through the whole diagnosis thing… he did the same with Julie before we knew what she had is narcolepsy, you know? So…"

"So is there really anything to be scared of?"

Emile shook his head. Remy wiped his tear-streaked cheeks with gentle fingers, fixing his glasses right after that.

"I… I'm gonna do it. Okay? I'm gonna do it."

He was so proud of himself. It was so cute.

—————

Friday, March 21st, 2003; 15:43 p.m.

"Doctor," the resident student-psychiatrist (Thelma Grinberg, an overly boring MS student Emile already knew) called as she stretched her hand to shake his uncle's hand. "That's a surprise."

"Since Emile is still a minor, I had to accompany him," he explained sharply. "Neither of his parents could come here today."

"Caroline could've come too," Emile mumbled.

"Your aunt has a busy schedule today, Emile."

"You do too…"

Thelma seemed incredibly confused, but kept going anyway. And it took her longer than was probably necessary to get through all the questions.

Emile hated people like that. (And so did his uncle.)

He was dropped off at his dorm before his uncle had to leave, and that probably spooked Remy more than it should have. The kind "Mr. Harris, nice to see you" didn't help any.

"How did it go?" Remy asked, looking almost straight at Emile.

"Quite well, I would say." The smile looked incredibly weird on the older man's face. "Call your mother for me. Tell her everything that happened today, ja?" Emile nodded eagerly. "Thank you, Emile."

"I didn't ask—"

And with a strict "I expect to see you at my office on Monday, Mr. Harris", the professor left the dorm building, leaving behind a happy blond and his flustered best friend.

"...what was that?!"

"I have to go there again a couple days before spring break for another test, and then after Passover for a TOVA," Emile explained, rather excitedly. "You know what a TOVA is, don't y—"

"It's that test where you click a button according to instructions, I know. Mueller explained it to everyone three days ago, Emmy."

"Oh right! And… and I guess that after those tests I'll know if I have anything!"

After a long moment of awkward silence, Emile tapped Remy's shoulder again. "Care to come over for the holidays? You didn't for Hanukkah and now my parents really want you to! I mean… I do too, but my parents haven't really met you yet and they think you're pretty cool and—"

"Sure, I'll come."

Emile had to do a bit of a double take. "Seriously? Remy, I don't think you understand what you're signing up for here, it's all my cousins from three different countries, most of them don't speak English, my grandparents, uncle Walter and aunt Caroline, maybe even mom's cousins if they'd be so grateful as to—"

"No, I get it, sweetie. I have, like, twenty cousins on Linda's side alone, more or less. I'll be fine. Don't worry about it."

Remy may have known before that he'll do anything to see Emile smile, but… he's never realized it until now. Probably? Maybe? But as Emile started bouncing happily and jumped in to hug him, Remy finally accepted the reality.

Coming over to Emile's during spring break was no trouble, but… in the long run, he would do anything to see him smile.

—————

Wednesday, April 16th, 2003

This was… definitely not spring break anymore. Remy was pretty sure that the higher ups in administration would rip him a new nonexistent one when they found out why he took a week's vacation in the middle of the spring semester…

Then again, so did a lot of the other students, and some of the staff. So maybe he was exaggerating…?

Eh. Finals start the week after that and end in May. He can allow himself a week off.

And yet he still had no idea how he ended up like this, watching Prince of Egypt with his best friend and said friend's three-year old niece at nine in the morning, as said friend's mom was overworking herself in the kitchen trying to make space and food for over thirty people…

Oh, and there was a dog too. She was currently playing with a squeaky toy, but she was there.

He only processed that this is the situation he's in once Emile started trying to get his niece singing. He had no idea what was going on on screen, but… something was.

"Mom, where's everyone?" Emile called to the kitchen after failing - for the hundredth time - to engage Analiese.

"Where could everyone possibly be, Emile?"

"Walter and Caroline are in town for the things you forgot to buy, grandma and grandpa are probably at their connection…" he started mumbling, counting on his fingers in an odd fashion. "I don't know!"

"You just said so yourself," Remy laughed quietly, grabbing Emile's hands gently. "Let's go over this again. Walter and Caroline are in town, your grandparents are at their connection…"

"Yeah, I know that," he groaned, slightly frustrated. "I just… everyone… here. That's what… that's what I'm confused about. Where's everyone here."

"...where everyone is seated?" Emile nodded. "Oh gurl… do you wanna make place holders, organize the seating, do you want to…"

"I just want to make sure nobody wants to sit on both my sides. One is okay, but you have to sit on my other side and I'm worried about that."

Oh…

"Well, we're gonna make sure that nobody takes my seat, okay?" Remy asked, kissing Emile's cheek afterwards.

"I sit with Emile!" Analiese declared, her attention now directed at the boys. Emile started laughing and leaned over to pinch her chubby cheek.

"We will read together, and sing together, and if mom complains we're gonna tell her off, right Ana?"

The toddler nodded, extremely determined, and Remy felt his heart melt all over again.

This was too good to be true, and not even seeing his most feared professor walk through the door and sit down next to them in the living room could shake this feeling. For once, Remy wasn't scared of this man. Through some odd change of fate, or something like that.

"So this is your first time doing such a thing?" Doctor La— Doctor Freeman asked, smiling gently as Analiese bounced in his lap and rambled about everything she's done this week. "Participating in Passover?"

"Yes, sir."

"He's my uncle now, not our professor," Emile laughed, squeezing Remy's hand. "You don't have to be so scared of him."

It didn't work as instantly as he wanted it to, but as the night went on, Remy actually… found that he wasn't that scared of him anymore.

As he said, this was too good to be true. And nothing could ever seem to be able to shake this good feeling.

[soul-heart-and-beyond]

✩ Roleplaying History ✩

(Post ten characters you’d like to roleplay as, have role-played as, and might bring back. Then tag ten people to do the same (if you can’t think of ten characters, just write down however many you can and tag the same amount of people). Please repost instead of reblog!)

(Tagged by: @ducktales-wco-oo and @phooeyonyou​)

(Tagging: Seems like you’re up next!)

Currently playing:

Duckworth - DuckTales 1987/2017/Other AU Versions

Dewey Duck - DuckTales 2017/Other AU Versions

Fenton Crackshell/-Cabrera/Gizmoduck - 2017/1987/ Other AU Versions

Negaduck/Drake Mallard - Darkwing Duck - Show/Comics/Dangerous Currency/Other AU Versions

Skunky Skunk - Bonkers Show/Other AU Versions

Huckleberry Hound - Classic Hanna-Barbera/Trio of Triumph/Other AU Versions

Ludwig Von Drake - House of Mouse/DuckTales 1987/2017/Other AU Versions (@thegenludwigvondrake)

Claire Redfield - Resident Evil

Trish - Devil May Cry

Quick Draw McGraw - Classic Hanna-Barbera/Trio of Triumph/Other AU Versions (I seriously need to update his icons and stuff. The ones I have I feel would not do him justice as of currently.) @quick-draw-mcgraw-rp

Want to play: (I’d share some of the new ones coming with updates, but surprises are surprises! They will be test muses of course, and I may alter or even archive some muses.)

Dynomutt - Hanna-Barbera (With a clumsy but chill and courageous cybernetic pooch like this guy, I just haven’t done much to promote him. He’s a good pal to have and is pretty friendly!)

Hawkgirl/Shayera Hol - DC Comics (Tougher than nails, but good company to keep once you get past her initial meeting phase! DCAU can be pretty weird to mesh in with other folks, but I should still try a little more?)

Howard the Duck - Marvel Comics (Yeah, yeah, he’s still on here, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been trying to push him out there like some of the ones I currently play. He’s a guy with issues that many people can probably relate to, and is fun to irritate.)

Hokey Wolf - Hanna-Barbera (As my favorite HB character of all time, well, it’s not that out of the ball park that I’d like to rp as him on here. There aren’t that many that I think would know of Hokey though. Suave, calm, and sassy is his thing, and he’ll con you a new one better than Yogi Bear ever will!)

Roxas - Kingdom Hearts (”But he’s on here and I have done a thread or two with him!” Yeah, that’s true, but just recently have I kinda noticed some things about how I’d play Roxas might not mix well with other muns, mainly because of the constant preaching of “friends over family” that KH has, it kinda leads me away from thinking Roxas would consider anyone older than him like a parent and just friend zone them instantly. I might be overthinking it, but it’s just something I don’t see happening, and until I can find my confidence and hopefully a better method of playing Roxas, he’ll be in semi-hiatus for the time being.)

Sylvester Pussycat/Daffy Duck - Looney Tunes (I have done very little with either, though I can do something with Sylvester as of now, just Daffy needs some tweaking and icons for other verses. But when I have a good grip on both situations, they’ll be put out into the open for all to interact with for the other verses!)

Dracula Duck - DuckTales (As I have not been working on his icons like I should have, with very good reason for so too, I still have so many great ideas and AUs for him that I’ll share when I can get him completed.)

Gideon McDuck - Duckverse/Disney Comics (”But you play him too!” Ohhhhkay, Gid is a tough topic to deal with as even the mere mention of his name can serve up controversy in times when it is not need, like any time, but he is still a favorite of mine and technically still a good or possible character in DuckTales 2017. He can or doesn’t have to be related, I mean, look at Huge McDuck and what he did and he’s not even a real relative. What I want to do is continue giving the chief editor a chance to shine and be noticed for all of his straight-forward but considerate mannerisms, search for truth and justice, and all of that from the news side of the world.) @gideon-mcduck

John D. Rockerduck/Roller Dollar - Duckverse/Disney Comics (”Also him as well!” Look, John is more known and very well received to be the third richest duck in the world, and as he aims for first place in besting Scrooge, he’s also not that bad of a guy. Sure, he may have a devious, mischievous, and even cheating side to him, but get to know the guy well and he’ll treat you like family. Not his of course as there’s a lot of turmoil in his but better than any average person for sure. Not only that, but he has gone through some radical adventures, giving him versatility, and even has a supervillian persona, one akin to Magneto. Polaris [Marvel], Doctor Polaris [DC], and Cosmic Boy in some terms of powers. When he hits the stage, he makes sure his appearance is known! Until he’s forced to munch on another one of his bowler hats.) @john-d-rockerduck

Underdog/Shoeshine Boy - Terry Toons? (Being a big fan of some superheroes, and knowing that Underdog has become a rarity in that of the super hero fandom, I decided it might be nice to try and help bring him back! As overpowered as he is, of course he can get the good old nerfing rod, or not, however you want it! Mainly what seems to be cool would be the situations in which he saves the day that don’t always involve Polly Purebred, or just his daily life as a shoeshine boy?) @underhcro

Have played:

Ralph Runner - Loonatics Unleashed (Boy, is this 50′s-60′s esque father of a roadrunner something! He’ll probably have you smacking your head in frustration from the very fast speak he talks. Ralph can slow down though, so that’s not much of a problem! Keeping up with him physically though is another thing, like for some reason, he still has a potbelly but can move at super sonic speeds? I guess not every speedster has a hyper fast metabolism? Either way, if you’re in the future sometime, you might find him at his business or somewhere in Acmetropolis, if it’s in the same time and universe!)

Snagglepuss - Hanna-Barbera (Ooooh, this guy. I have SO many ideas with him that they pale in comparison to Huck and Hokey, when just using my ideas and not the combined efforts of mine with others. A moment that explains how he went from being an antagonist and rival to being a good friend along with his fur change? Got it! An explanation for how he loses some of his daring and adventurous backbone? Already thought of! And the list goes on for this mountain lion! I may not have played him on Tumblr, but I have played him before, and I have hear I am really good from others.)

Bathound/Ace Wayne - DC Comics (A detective that likes to do his work more than anything, and does it best when alone? Oh yeah, that is a vigilante I can get behind! I still have yet to promote him more and such, but he is a good guy to antagonize since he does hate silliness and such when it comes to the mission. Though not as devoted to the mission as Bruce/Batman is, he can be at times and that is one of his best traits/worst flaws.)

José Carioca - Disney (As he is literally my most favorite Caballero, sorry Don and Pan, he does get a lot of love from me. With his questionable past of having what can be debated to be regular magic or black magic, coy and sly demeanor when on his con work, or just being the cool and levelheaded member until a party arises. Maybe it is because he reminds me too much of myself in some cases, but I do not know. He is still available for whoever wants for me to make a starter with him! I also have to continue the thread that has him in it.)

Morrigan Aensland - DarkStalkers (I question on how I should approach making her icons as she is well, look at her. Though she is a succubus and gets away with that because it goes back into the lore of succubi, I feel like some people would be uncomfortable with her around, which is normal. She is kinda one of those..... characters that I don’t want to type the acronym of. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to play her. She’s a good character that has an intriguing personality!)

Igor - Count Duckula (Ah yes, my first rp blog that I had when I decided to rp on Tumblr. It’s still up, and I’m still working on it! But for all that do not know, here’s a little thing about my writing; If it wasn’t for me rping as Igor, and also having knowledge of Alfred Pennyworth, I might not have been thinking about playing Duckworth as early as I did. I do love Duckworth still to about the same amount as Igor, which is a LOT, but they kinda are two sides of the same coin. Heck, they even wear almost similar attire except for their appearance and tastes in some things.) @butlerofthecount

Dante - Devil May Cry (I definitely need to work on this blog again, as DMC5 sparked my thrist for some good demon slaying threads. Hopefully the pizza hasn’t gotten cold or moldy by now, but if it has, one can always order a new one!) @merciless-style

Goofy Goof - Disney (It’s no joke! I may not have him on here, but then again, not all of my muses are on here. Some are exclusive to here, and others are exclusive to other places. While I’d love to present my take on the cherry and clumsy goof, I prefer to see everyone else’s interpretation on here! Goof Paradise is Nice, but I’m too impure for that life. XD)

Tidus - Final Fantasy X (I swear, I’m still making icons for him in the PS2 original Final Fantasy X because I’m sorry, that’s the only way I like Tidus’ face in the first and second games, Kingdom Hearts and Dissidia series are okay, but not the HD Remasters [in my opinion].) @caladbolgdreamknight

Gemerl/Emerl - Sonic The Hedgehog (I definitely wouldn’t mind giving this copy bot a chance to get some light again!)

[psianabel]

KH3 thoughts under the cut. Spoilers for everything. Kinda got long, lol.

I’m used to make up happy stories about my favorite characters, think about them in happy situations, make up happy ending AUs. The more I proceeded in this game, the more I just ... recieved. Happy things. Over and over and over and my tears didn’t stop. 

This ending is e x a c t l y what i wished for in my life. Minus Sora but lets leave him out here They are all here. They got their hugs. All of them. Heck, even the wayfinder trio got to hug Eraqus, I’m goddamn living. I didn’t know I needed Riku, Roxas, and Terra racing on Destiny Island (and Terra being the slowest because he is, lmao). Isa getting welcomed into the friendship group y e s ... And Lea, Isa, Ven playing with Lea’s frisbee. And eating ice cream on the clock tower with the Twillight Town crew. Namine and Xion looking for seashells together. Ven’s Chirithy coming back to him????? ALL OF THEM OUT OF THEIR COATS AND HAVING ACTUAL CLOTHES. Holy goddamn this, this is what my heart was longing for.

khux not important my ass. I’m so glad the Age of Fairy Tales is one of my fave story arcs, I was screaming at that epilogue and it is very high up in my list of fave scenes of that game (only because i want that Foreteller content. AVA MY GIRL WHERE ARE YOU). Also that Luxu reveal? Wasn’t surprised but damn I’m so in for that ride.  Speaking of khux, all these hints, my h e a r t. Ven dreaming of the Foretellers, Ephemera being there for Sora (which makes me wonder about Sora’s involvement of the story there but lets see about that), the 300 keykids!!! I even recognized some names, that was so fucking cool. (I died there because I was so busy looking at the names....) And I guess we have to expect Demyx and Luxord in khux soon huh.  Sort of khux related, but thank the lord for giving me that Marluxia and Larxene fight together. Since Elrena’s reveal and knowing she knew Lauriam even back then, I wished for this so so much. And their interactions in battle, blessed. Perfect. Good. These two, I swear.

Insert something about the Secret Reports here. Love this cryptic stuff. Luxu you sly fox, my theory is he is gonna pass No Name onto Blaine, I also believe the girl there is Skuld, which would also be the girl Lea and Isa searched for, huh ... this is gonna get so wild. Even wilder with Blaine being Eraqus’ ancestor. God these reports are gving me so much im in love. Aqua. My girl, my love. My heart hurt so much at the Anti Aqua fight, but the whole setup was just perfect. (Not gonna lie, the name Aquanort is still close to my heart. And I probably continue calling her that, lmao.) I cried so fucking much when they were at the Destiny Islands then, hugging her. LIKE, YES, PLEASE SHE IS FREE. And fricking Land of Departure. The fight. THE F I G H T. I WAS READY FOR THIS god yes, playing her for one last time, wonderful, just wonderful. The whole scene there, Ventus waking up, Vanitas calling him brother, I wouldn’t have wanted it in any other way.  “Good morning, Ven.” KSDJFHDSF??? Y E S 

Something about Eraqus and Xehanort. Old husbands really cannot live without each other, and it showed. Together forever now huh. Please Eraqus, make sure he will never do something stupid again.

Uhhhh since this is a videogame I think I have to say something about the gameplay. I love it. The fighting feels so good, with all the triangle commands it makes things interesting. Sora’s mobility is great - the shotlock, the wall climbing, and he finally gets the double jump wooh. Lots to farm, but hey it’s KH, it’s okay.  I wish Donald and Goofy would shut up about ingredients lmao. ... fuck Gummiship tho, but this kind of stuff isnt my thing anyways, but I’ll manage, oh well lol.

RIGHT Disney/Pixar is a thing too. Can’t say much about it, since I don’t really care that much about it, but I looove how these character stand up to roast the evil KH characters lmaooo, go Woody and Sully. I was screaming. The did That.

What they also did is that goddamn secret ending, which I’m HMMM about, but hey it’s a Secret Ending and Nomura is really out there for blood. Good for him. All I can say is, well, see you in Shibuya.  Alright. There are still so many things, but. I just have to say.  I love this game. I enjoyed it so so much. I’m so grateful I was able to play it without seeing leaks or spoilers. If someone would have shown me a picture of the ending where they eat ice cream on the clocktower ... i wouldn’t have believed it. The game set it up for me perfectly. 

I treasure these characters. And I’m happy they found their happy ending. This is what I wanted. Thank you for that.

... until the next act opens. Can’t wait to see how Luxu takes the lead now.  Eraqus cheats at chess, part 2.

What have you planned, boy ... 

[desperatelyseekingroleplay]

general hey all! i’m wren and i’m a 23 y/o grad student in the est time zone. i’ve been rping for over 10 years and am looking for some cool new people to plot and rp with. i’m usually bopping around on social media and love talking to my partners, whether it’s getting to know them or just plotting future events for our characters.

i’m also very ditch-friendly! if you’re tired of me or our rp, totally just ghost me, i’ll get the hint. no need to get all anxious over breaking up with a partner. it’s rping, it’s all chill. if you’re able to, giving me a head’s up that you’re not feeling the rp would be great though! i will absolutely return the courtesy if i’m not feeling it anymore either.

as a quick side note, i will only rp with people over the age of 18, and have a preference for partners over the age of 20! i just feel more comfortable when my partner is around the same age as me.

posts and characters i only write in third person past tense and would prefer for my partner to do the same. i’m very flexible with post lengths, but i tend to be on the wordy side. i’d love it if you could provide four or five paragraphs per post on average, though i absolutely value quality over quantity so post length isn’t a huge concern of mine as long as there’s something to reply to! longer posts are wonderful as well, and i have no issue waxing lengthy posts if that is your preference.

i generally reply at least once a day or once every other day, but even if i’m tied up with work and not able to reply consistently, i’ll absolutely be available to chat. i’ll let you know when i’m busy and love to shoot plot ideas back and forth even when i can’t put aside a chunk of time to reply.

characters! i love playing multiple characters, but having a singular main character is great too. i prefer playing OCs but can also do canons, which i’ll talk about more below. i have no preference about what sort of character you’re playing, that’s your decision! i like to develop new characters for each rp i do, but feel free to bring in old characters if that’s what you want! i like characters that are complex and interesting and not ultra-powerful people – or if they are, you’re able to explore the emotional repercussions of it. if you’re looking for a specific sort of character to play yours against, give me some guidelines before i whip up an OC and i’ll be happy to make someone that fits your needs. i adore creating characters, and like making side or background characters that pass through or come in and out of the plot.

i like creating characters before the plot, rather than the other way around. i have a huge preference for character-driven plots – putting our characters in a setting, and then letting their specific quirks and motivations lead where the rp goes next.

i also can provide rp samples if you’d like to see my writing before we rp!

genres; love and sex so first let me prattle off some original character genres that i love! i will list fandoms later.

• adventure; anything with a band of people coming together and forming a found family, traveling together on the way to a goal with obstacles thrown in their way • fantasy; i adore fantasy, whether it’s magical realism or all out medieval fantasy. world-building is one of my favorite things. sci-fi is great too, but i’m not great when things get too tech-y haha • paranormal/mythical creatures; sort of goes with the fantasy, but i’m always down to rp different species in any sort of setting • fairy tales; i love taking old fairy tales or stories and giving them a unique twist, whether it’s making them #gritty or just tossing them in a different sort of setting • superheroes; people with superpowers using it for good or evil and coming together yesss • romance; romance is great and i’ll discuss that below, but i prefer this to be like a sub-genre • AUs; i love taking a fandom and making it an alternate timeline or AUing it completely. also once we have characters and a rp established, i love love love talking about AUs for our characters. i will AU everything, there is no AU too AUish for me

those are just my favorites so feel free to suggest others, but i will not do slice of life. i just find myself bogged down when there’s not a defined plot, and it doesn’t keep my interest. i also love these things if you’d be interested in tossing any of them in the rp:

• mages • shapeshifters • daemons [like from his dark materials] • people with horns or wings • pirates • dragons

pairings what up what up. i love rps with a dash of romance, whether our characters come in as an awesome couple battle duo, or two dorks realizing they’re developing a crush on each other. either way, i don’t like characters who are not in a relationship immediately getting together – i’m all about the bonding and character development. i do not like rping cishet m/f pairings. bi girl and bi dude falling in love is great. trans man and trans woman falling in love is great. ace woman and a masculine nb person falling in love is great. any other type of lgbtqia+ pairing is great. if you have a general preference for m// or f// just let me know!

i also love anything unconventional, from happy polyamorous couples to obsessive unrequited pining. love triangles are great, conflict is great, anything to keep the relationship fresh and interesting without verging into the realm of over-dramatic. if you’re looking for someone to rp a dark and unhealthy romance with, i am your person. also if you want to rp cute poly couples, i am also that person.

i do not understand doubling. i thought it meant we just play multiple characters (which i love), not that we’re explicitly playing the other person’s LI. i’d rather us just play characters and then see who has chemistry.

for fandoms, i’ll do canon/canon and OC/OC but not canon/OC!

smut smut is totally rad, as long as it’s not the sole focus of the rp. i like the smut to add something to the character, the characters’ relationship, or the plot in addition to just being for porn’s sake. cute smut is great. dark smut is great. getting to do both is even better. i do have a handful of smut-based limits including things like water sports, pedophilia, vore – if you want a complete list just ask when you contact me. themes i would enjoy exploring typically depend on the character and what my partner’s limits are.

limits i don’t have any limits besides the aforementioned smut limits. besides that, i love violence, gore, and swearing. i like exploring dark themes when the rp calls for it. i do not like rping with people who treat trauma, abuse, and psychopathy as personal traits or try to make things obnoxiously dark and gritty. but otherwise everything’s pretty much on the table! if you have any limits please let me know – i have no problem not swearing or avoiding certain topics or fading to black if that is your preference.

fandoms i love many fandoms so if you’re itching for something just ask me about it. the only thing i don’t know squat about is pretty much all anime/manga. except naruto.

but here are the fandoms i do know stuff about and would love to rp! stars denote preference.

dragon age [origins; da2; inquisition] ✩✩✩ dragon age is my favorite thing in the world and i would love someone to rp it with. i have a preference for OCs though would also be up to rping canon characters. rping an OC MC with OC companions is my jam, though i also like exploring what the rest of the world is up to while the main plot is going on. also any AU of dragon age is great – inquisition in a modern setting, kirkwall with a sci-fi twist; universe diverging where the bad guy wins and stuff like that.

pokemon [any gen] ✩✩✩ i am always down for a pokemon rp you have no ideaaa. however i really like my pokemon rps more serious. i like exploring aspects of the pokemon world outside of just being a trainer and getting badges. i like to rp pokemon like they’re intelligent animals, meaning that wild pokemon aren’t so easily tamed and pokemon can get hurt. i’m also so down for crossbreeds/fusions. i have a wide variety plot ideas in mind for pokemon and would love to hear yours!

kingdom hearts [any game] ✩✩ i’ve been on this wild kh binge lately, to ease the ache in my heart that kh3 will probably come out in like 2020. i would love to play OCs or underdeveloped side characters, but i’m all up for canons too. i’ve played all of the games except DDD which i’m working on now. i’d love something in the bbs era, but honestly anything is great. exploring nobodies successfully turned into ansem-heart-holders, the new keyblade warriors to defeat ansem (this guy gets around), or kh1&2 characters during the bbs time is all great. for canon characters sora, aqua, ventus, marluxia, and larxene are the ones i’ve played the most but i’m always looking to branch out.

fallout [any game] ✩ would love to do OCs for this, and admittedly something in the commonwealth would be rad because i’ve played 4 most recently. brotherhood of steel is always great, anything with them is awesome. also stuff with synths that involves questioning what it means to be human and have faith in your own identity/memories w/e w/e would be cool.

final fantasy [IV, VII, VIII, crisis core, advent children, dissidia] ✩ i have this random love for IV, but honestly i am total VII trash. there’s a remake coming out so i’m going to pretend i’m justified.

harry potter [no cursed child] OCs would be great because who doesn’t love a harry potter AU. i honestly don’t have a huge interest in canon characters for this one, unless it’s set in the future.

once upon a time love the concept, hate the execution. would love something that just uses this plot, or we can do some universe diverging.

marvel cinematic universe the mcu is great but i don’t have a lot of ideas for this one – if you’ve got a plot idea you’re itching to do that doesn’t hinge on excessive knowledge of the comic material, lay it on me.

medium i have a super strong preference for rping over email or google docs, and reserving forms of IM for separate chatting and plotting. i can be flexible if you’re super gung-ho about rping over skype or something, but generally i like to keep my posts in a place where they’re all together and i can easily reference them. i have google hangouts and skype for chatting, and can get aim or msn for the dinosaurs who still use that (jk jk). i’m also open to making a joint tumblr blog that we both post our posts on, which i did not know was a thing until very recently!

contact if you’re interested please shoot me a mail at wingsofaren@gmail.com! from there we can talk about chatting else where and stuff.