#i swear if gege dares to lay a hand on him

[sqtorux]

nothing's looking up guys

[dadsbongos]

megumi x airhead fluff please don’t let gege get u again 😔

iehjejeueueh

GASP this has been in my drafts so long and i totally forgot about it, i am sooo sorry nonny :')

761 words no big warnings just fluff n idiots pining, not super proofread

the ghost of gege has been cleansed from my soul!!! ~~~

“Do you really think that?”

Megumi stiffly avoids your gaze, soon after shrugging, “Yeah. What of it?”

You frown, and it could be how attuned he is to your mood but Megumi swears the sudden shift actually overhauls the entire room’s energy. Something morose and slithering around the darkness, somehow the gloominess only thickens in the areas sparsely lit by Megumi’s lamp.

“That’s sad,” you lean up from your sit and onto your knees, fingertips just barely pressing into the springs below, “You’re not a bad person, ‘gumi.”

“I don’t think I’m the devil,” he turns his whole head to avoid your piercing stare, “Just not a good person.”

“That’s sad!” now you’ve flung your hands up on his shoulders, squeezing down his arms as if a heartbroken widow clutching her poor, dead husband, “‘gumi you’re the best guy I know!”

Scrunching away from you, Megumi presses his back into the headboard of his bed, swallowing harshly and continuously dodging your stare, “Yeah, sure.”

“Hey,” you whine, now squishing his hands between yours, “You are! You’re super nice all the time, and you’re way smart.”

The accusation of kindness pulls a little chuckle from Megumi, especially considering how often Yuuji and Nobara curse his nasty attitude. He cannot comprehend why you’d marvel over him this way, or in any other way for that fact. Megumi’s eyes flutter shut, he soaks up the warmth of your hands on his, and your face by his cheek. If he dared lean up, he’d easily be able to kiss you (he’s not so bold, he thinks he’d rather die actually).

“And you’re so pretty,” you tack on, as if you can sense the worst possible thing to say right now.

Though, Megumi knows better -- you’re soft and mellow, his opposite if anything. The knowledge of your earnesty in the compliment does nothing to calm his racing heart, or the raging red slathering his face.

“Whatever…” Megumi sinks down until he’s laid back on his mattress. He sucks in air slowly, boring holes into the ceiling rather than your face, “You’re pretty, too. And you’re nicer than me,” he cringes, “If you’re still sure I’m nice.”

“You are,” you lay beside him, petting a hand over the bunches and wrinkles in his sleep shirt, “You’re being nice now! You let me come over after my nightmare.”

“You sounded scared,” he tries to shrug off the praise, but your words are clinging to his brain stubbornly, “Why would I make you sleep alone after that?”

“Exactly,” you’re bolder than Megumi, bold enough to spike your chin onto his chest, “You’d be a great boyfriend.”

“You don’t say,” he chokes out, heat clogging his cheeks and red burning into a deep crimson. He prays the dim light emitting from his nightstand doesn’t expose the sight to you. 

A melodic knock on Megumi’s door makes the duo flinch, and despite logic telling him nothing is wrong Megumi lets his arm come around your waist protectively. When its Satoru that pokes his head in, the boy grumbles.

“Hey, problem children,” Satoru coos, “if you’re gonna break rules, at least move apart when your teacher comes to scold you.”

“They had a nightmare,” Megumi’s hold on you tightens, “they didn’t wanna be alone.”

“Is that right?” Satoru’s blindfold is still snug around his face, but Megumi can feel his teacher’s stare pointed at where your head lays on his chest.

You nod viciously, “It was so scary! I thought I died for real, so ‘gumi let me stay with him so I don’t have another one.”

“Well how sweet,” Satoru taps the doorframe, “But c’mon, time for everyone to go to their own rooms.”

“Huh, no way!” you cry in protest, rocketing up straight.

“No way,” Megumi parrots.

Raising a brow, Satoru grins at his student’s sudden audacity, “You want me to stay in here with you both, then?”

“You want me to tell Yaga about the secret number in your phone?” Megumi glares, “The one you know by heart.”

Satoru grimaces down at the boy, then sighing and back out of the room, “Don’t do anything to make Yaga yell at me.”

“Wow, ‘gumi, you really got him.”

“He’s easy to wrangle, like training a big, stupid dog,” Megumi feels his heart thundering in his chest the longer you go without saying anything, simply sitting there and grinning at him, “What?”

“You stood up for me.”

“Duh.”

“That was really nice of you.”

He rolls his eyes, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you back onto him, “Yeah, whatever.”

[inessencedevided]

Wei Wuxian enters the Underworld Chamber with several scrolls clutched in his arms, struggling to keep them all together but he is able to settle them down on a table next to the one that is holding his client with a great clatter. For a moment he entertains himself with thinking what the Second Jade who was known to be very rule abiding would say to his general … everything. He would probably have those straight, black eyebrows furrowed and reprimand him with a single word.

“Let’s see what we’ve got here, hm?”, he offers and sifts through his collection of scrolls from the library of the Lan sect. “Your older brother gave me access to some very interesting scrolls, you know?! Your sect is famous for musical cultivation, he told me that you were on your way to become the best guqin player, close to Lan Yi. Fascinating stuff, this. Inquiry. Talking to the dead through the means of music. Maybe this will help me before I use Empathy. Which is a method I invented.”

He does this a lot, chattering away at people to break the ice. There is not a lot of ice to break because the person he is talking to is dead but it still feels nicer than to be completely quiet. And according to ZewuJun, his brother is still here, so maybe he will feel less alone like this. So he shuffles over to the guqin that seems to have been repaired. There is still some brownish-red residue on the wood and he knows that it only can be one thing. Blood. “Alright. Let’s do this,” he says softly. Carefully, he follows the movements that are described on the page, lets the notes ring out, waits for an answer in the dark.

There is silence for a moment and he is afraid he played so badly that the ghost is somehow offended and doesn’t want to come. But then, suddenly, there is an answer. No unnecessary embellishments, played slowly so he can understand but still so beautiful that he knows who it is. Who it only can be.

Who are you sings the instrument and he makes an excited sound, shuffling even closer. Wei Wuxian he answers, carefully playing out the notes. Your brother. Asked for help. he answers haltingly. It is almost like learning a new language. I go through memories. Am I allowed? There is another moment of silence, then he swears the answer sounds almost surprised. Yes. You may, Wei Wuxian. He giggles and bites his lip. “Call me Wei Ying,” he tells the room before remembering that he should have used the guqin. The instruments sings out, completely unprompted. Wei Ying.

His grin threatens to split his face and he gets up, walking towards the body, taking in the serene face, the inky hair, the creamy skin. He really is a beauty. “Just a moment,” he tells him and pats his hand, walking to the door and calling Lan Xichen in, who comes without any further prompting. “He gave me permission,” Wei Wuxian explains and then hands the sect leader a Clarity Bell, a thank you from Jiang Yanli for helping her sect when it called for it. “Ring this when things get sticky or I do not wake up. It will call me back.”

ZewuJun nods, taking the Bell, settling in, watching them both with a worried expression but Wei Wuxian just smiles and kneels next to the body, taking his hands, noticing how cold and yet soft they are, callouses at their fingertips from playing the guqin. “Lan Wangji,” he whispers. “Show me. Show me what is keeping you here.”

The memories feel like the first snow beneath naked feet, dropping into a body of cold water but also like standing on a mountain and letting the winds rush by. They start with a little boy kneeling in front of a house surrounded by gentians, clad in the same white the whole sect wears. He is six at most and why this memory is shown, Wei Wuxian doesn’t know but he keeps concentrating, diving deeper. He sees a strikingly handsome teenager studying in the library, copying old scrolls, playing quin and sneaking vegetables to the back hills where white bunnies roam. The images flash by, a lecture with disciples from other sects, Wen Chao and his entourage arriving and making a scene.

One moment stands out. The same teenager who must be Lan Wangji catches a young female disciple roaming the back hills, a Wen from the red of her robes. He walks away with her and the scenery shifts. They are in a building that is most likely the home of the sect leader, ZewuJun and his brother who stands next to him, straight-backed and breathtaking. He can hear voices, hears them talking of something Wen Ruohan wants, that he will raze the Cloud Recesses to the ground for it. The Yin Iron. Part of it is hidden away here. They will need to prepare for the worst.

The scene shifts again, to Caiyi and Lan Wangji walking through the busy market, holding his sword in his hand, one hand in a fist behind his back like a proper gentleman. He can hear crying and both of them look for the source of it, Wei Wuxian constricted by the limited sight he has. It is little girl with braided buns, crying heartbreakingly next to a stall with animals made from colourful cloth.

The cultivator with the severe face and the countenance of a remote, snow-capped mountain, kneels next to her and hands her a bunny rabbit made from colourful cloth, just purchased apparently, waiting for her to talk. “I lost my gege,” she sobs and shuffles closer, hugging him, getting his white robes dirty. He does not seem to care, instead looks at her and gently lays a hand on her shoulder. “I have a gege as well. I would be scared if I lost him in the crowd,” he says and oh, his voice. It’s calm and deep, trying to settle the little girl. “Shall we look for him together?”

She sniffles and nods, taking his hand in hers, looking up at him in awe and Wei Wuxian can relate. After just a moment, they have found her big brother and the little girl runs to hug him with a shriek of delight. He can see the corners of Lan Wangji’s mouth tilt up into a soft smile, barely noticeable but it is there. He seems to be content with a job well done.

Another shift. They seem to come quicker now, more talk of the Yin Iron, someone he recognises as Lan Qiren taking stock of their most valuable scriptures, letting it be taken away. It is terribly busy but Lan Wangji is a mountain in a rushing stream, carrying what he can with his impressive arm strength.

Yet another and the Cloud Recesses are burning. The disciples are running, many of them armed, some carrying instruments. Caiyi is in disarray as well, people barricading their homes, locking up their animals. Lan Wangji is making a sweep through town, his immaculate robes already stained with soot. The little girl from before runs towards him and hugs his leg, tearful and scared but she knows she is safe with the young cultivator. He gently pats her head and does the same to her rabbit doll.

Then, his face grows serious and he kneels down to look at her, reaching up and undoing his ribbon that falls into his hands, carefully tying it around her wrist. “Keep this safe. Go and take your brother, your parents and look for a grey mountain with yellow veins. This will give you free passage through the secret entrance. You will be safe,” he tells her gently and gets up. “Look for a man who looks like me but older. Lan Xichen.”

Another shift. This one seems to be the last. Lan Wangji is riddled with arrows, bleeding profusely, staggering but still standing upright. His forehead is bare, his hands around the hilt of his sword are bloodied but he carries himself with grace and sheer bullheaded stubbornness. What was that saying again? No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it. He is so very brave. Wei Wuxian can feel his need to protect the ones who are hidden in the cave behind him even at the cost of his own life.

He seems to have set his mind on something, following Wen Xu, even as another arrow buries itself in his back and a voice cries out “A-Zhan! No!”. A sharp crack, bones crunching. His leg is broken but Wen Xu is dead, staring into nothingness. Lan Wangji does not cry out, instead uses his sword to get up again, breathing hard, spitting blood but still, there is a defiant light in his eyes. Someone trips him up and he falls to his knees, his head held high, his guqin on the ground next to him, strings bloodied. As the sword finds its mark, Wei Wuxian does not look away. Dares not look away. Lan Wangji stays proud and brave until he crumples to the ground and stops breathing.

Ringing, silvery and gentle, pulls him out of the cold waters, guides him back into his own body. As he comes to with a gasp, he notices that he has been crying. He wipes his eyes and looks at the body in front of him, at this brave and stubborn man who died defending those he cared about. “You were so good. So good, Lan Zhan,” he whispers, the personal name slipping out as he squeezes the cold hands, looks into his serene face. “The best.”

He turns to Lan Xichen who looks like he has been crying as well. “He died with the deep wish to protect still ingrained into him. He wants to make sure you are alright. And… he is guarding something. I… you spoke of the Yin Iron.”

The way Lan Xichen pales is answer enough.

- 🍄 anon

(Part one for all who didn't read it)

Omg!!! You sent me through every feeling IMAGINABLE 🍄 anon 😭😭😭

That line about there being a lot of ice to crack made me laugh and then you just came at me like that with feelings about lwj dieing! Not. Fair. 🥺

And lwj + little kids = love :D

[ibijau]

Xisang Week Day 3:  Shifter / Royalty / Fairy Tale

the leopard was mostly traced because animals? Not really my thing :D

I’m dedicating this one in particular to the Xisang discord, since the snow leopard shifter!Nie is that AU everyone brings back after heavy angst has been discussed XD

Two pairs of eyes watched as Lan Xichen walked away from the house. Nie Huaisang growled in warning so Lan Wangji knew to move away. Disappointed but understanding, his friend left the comfortable position they had found, Lan Wangji laying his head on Nie Huaisang stomach, both of them enjoying the warm sun of early summer on the porch. While Lan Wangji went inside to put away his book, Nie Huaisang yawned and started stretching his whole body with intent until his fur disappeared and his bones returned to their other shape. 

Like this, furless in the morning air, the sun felt less warm. Before Nie Huaisang could start shivering, Lan Wangji returned so they could do like Lan Xichen and head out for breakfast. 

As they walked side by side, an idea that had been bothering Nie Huaisang for a while struck him again. 

“I think gege doesn’t like me,” he sighed.

Lan Wangji shot him a surprised look, but said nothing. He never said much, even if he was really old enough he should have spoken well. He used to do it a bit more, but his mother had died a little before Nie Huaisang’s father, and now he was a really quiet person. 

“Gege never tries to pet me,” Nie Huaisang explained in a tone of self evidence. “Everyone does, but not gege, so he doesn’t like me.”

For being silent, the look Lan Wangji threw him had plenty to say. First, that Nie Huaisang was a little self-centered, because adults never tried to pet him, and at very nearly ten Lan Xichen was obviously almost an adult. Second, that Nie Huaisang didn’t like it when random people tried to touch his snow leopard form without his permission, leading to the two of them often hiding together for hours to avoid the attention since Nie Huaisang had arrived to the Cloud Recesses, a few weeks before. 

“He always frowns when he sees me being a leopard,” Nie Huaisang continued, never one to give up on an idea. “And then he smiles, but it’s not a real smile. He shouldn’t smile so much like that if it’s not real. And also he really, really never tries to pet me and that’s weird and I think he hates me." 

"Brother likes everyone,” Lan Wangji retorted, offended enough by this attack on his brother’s character to let his voice be heard. 

‘People who like everyone often like no one,’ Nie Huaisang’s father told him once, in the days before everything went so wrong. Nie Huaisang had listened and committed that to memory, because back then his father was the strongest and wisest man in the whole entire world. Now though, he wasn’t so sure anymore. Lan Xichen clearly loved his brother a lot, and he looked sad when people mentioned his mother so he must have loved her too. Besides, Nie Huaisang no longer believed his father to be so wise anyway. 

At the end, his father had just turned out to be mean and scary, and then he’d died and that was a relief, even if Nie Huaisang wasn’t supposed to say or even think that. And now Nie Mingjue, busy with getting the sect in order, had sent his brother away to Gusu for safety when Nie Huaisang only wanted to be with him, and that too was their father’s fault.

Everything was their father’s fault. 

“Gege likes everyone except me,” Nie Huaisang grumbled, feeling some tears threatening at the corner of his eyes after making the mistake of thinking of his family. 

It was silly that it bothered him so much whether Lan Xichen liked him or not, and he knew adults would probably have scolded him for it. It was bad of him to bask so much in the attention he received for his other form, to want everyone’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t help it. At home he was nothing special, but since coming to Gusu, everyone treated him like he was extraordinary. 

Everyone except Lan Xichen. 

-

It had been nearly a decade since Nie Huaisang’s first stay in the Cloud Recesses, but the place hadn’t changed much… and neither had he. Certainly the circumstances were different, he was there to study rather than to be protected from the power struggles that followed his father’s death, but everything else was much the same. 

So when another guest student asked whether it was true that members of the Nie clan were cursed, Nie Huaisang quickly turned into his feline form as answer. 

As he had as a young child, Nie Huaisang delighted in the gasps of shock and fear that followed. He was now old enough to understand that none of them could change, though it still puzzled how anyone could live perpetually on two legs. Nie Huaisang pitied them, really, and that was part of why he was always so willing to transform for the entertainment of others, almost an apology for being better than them. 

Mostly though, he enjoyed this rare chance to feel superior. 

After the first moment of fear and horror, the other boys quickly recovered, their emotions turning to wonder and curiosity. 

“Is it really a curse?" 

"Where do your clothes go?" 

"Does it hurt?" 

“Can the curse be transmitted?”

"Can I touch you?" 

The last question was repeated a few times, making Nie Huaisang shiver when they all tried to pet his fur. It always scared him a little how quickly people forgot he was a person, and tried to touch him with a disrespect for boundaries they’d never dare to have when he was human. When he was younger he didn’t mind it so much, but the more he grew, the less he tolerated the touch of strangers. Still, he sat still, his head hung low to give them permission. 

People never liked it when he refused to be pet, and he wanted to be liked so badly. 

Just as the boldest of the other boys dared to bury a hand into the fur of his neck, a voice rang behind them. 

"What is going on here?” Lan Xichen asked. 

On pure instinct, Nie Huaisang dropped on his stomach to show he meant no trouble, looking up at his brother’s friend who seemed upset.

He always seemed upset around Nie Huaisang. 

“Lan gongzi, that’s Nie gongzi !” one boy exclaimed, as if Lan Xichen might not have known that. “Isn’t it amazing? He’s cursed but he was going to let us pet him!" 

If Nie Huaisang had missed the frown on the older boy’s face, the smell of his anger was unmistakable. He made himself lay even flatter on the ground, a little scared he might have gotten in trouble on his very first day there. 

"I am well aware this is Nie gongzi, I recognise him,” Lan Xichen said with a pleasant smile. “I understand you are all new to the Cloud Recesses, but we have rules that must be respected. Unnecessary noise is frowned upon. Besides, it will soon be time for dinner, and you should start heading to the dining halls to make sure you get there on time.”

His voice was calm, gentle even, and he wasn’t that much older than them, but not a single one of them would have dared to object. Such was the effect that Lan Xichen had on people. Even Nie Huaisang quickly returned to his other shape so he could obey, but Lan Xichen stopped him from following the others. 

“You should not use your gift like this,” he mildly scolded. 

Nie Huaisang nodded, because his brother had often told him the same. It was one thing to shift whenever he pleased inside the Unclean Realm, where there were many others like him, but away from home he ought to have been more cautious. 

“I won’t do it again, Lan gongzi,” he mumbled. “I swear, the whole time I’m here I’ll stay human." 

"I wouldn’t ask that of you,” Lan Xichen protested. “It would be cruel of me. But exercise more caution, at least around people who you do not know well.”

“That's…" 

"Just then, you seemed uncomfortable, right?” Lan Xichen asked, a little unsure now. “Or did I misunderstand the situation?" 

Hesitantly, Nie Huaisang nodded again. It surprised him that Lan Xichen could read the body language of his other form. Outside of Qinghe Nie, few people could, unless they had a deep connection to a Nie. But of course, that was the case of Lan Xichen, who was so close to Nie Mingjue, so it shouldn’t have surprised him. 

"You shouldn’t let people touch you if you don’t like it,” Lan Xichen admonished, to which Nie Huaisang could only nod again. Lan Xichen sighed. “Huaisang…" 

Nie Huaisang looked at the other boy, hunching his shoulder as he awaited more reprimand, perhaps even punishment for making trouble already. Lan Xichen no longer seemed angry though. A little disappointed, almost sad, but not angry. Or, well, disappointed for sure. But sad? He had no reason to be sad, so Nie Huaisang had to be misreading that part. 

"Yes, Lan gongzi?" 

Lan Xichen sighed and shook his head. 

"Nothing. We should go too, it wouldn’t do for us to be late to dinner." 

"Yes, Lan gongzi." 

Another sigh, and when Nie Huaisang looked again, Lan Xichen’s expression was definitely somewhat sad. 

"I wouldn’t mind if you used my name,” he said with uncharacteristic hesitation. “You don’t have to be so formal with me. After all, you call my brother by name." 

"Oh but it’s different, Wangji is my friend!” Nie Huaisang protested. “I really could not disrespect you like this!" 

Lan Xichen pinched his lips, and turned away. 

"Let’s just go. We’re really going to be late otherwise." 

He started walking without waiting for Nie Huaisang who could only follow a few steps behind, wondering if he had somehow offended the other boy. 

They made it on time for dinner, but only just. Lan Qiren threw Nie Huaisang an angry glare, as if it were his fault if his perfect nephew had nearly broken a rule. 

Nie Huaisang sighed as he dug into his meatless meal, and promised himself to avoid Lan Xichen in the future. 

-

Classes were a nightmare, and Nie Huaisang was sure he’d have to come back another year.

Meals were a nightmare, and he often had to go secretly hunt at night just to have some meat.

Other students were a nightmare, angry at him whenever he refused to change into his other form to amuse them. 

So far, Nie Huaisang did not much enjoy his time in the Cloud Recesses. 

At least, there was Lan Wangji, whose companionship was still so pleasant after all these years. Even though they had both grown and changed in many ways, in others they were still the same, able to spend endless hours in comfortable silence together. Anyone else needed to beg or threaten to get Nie Huaisang to transform before them these days, but all Lan Wangji needed was a glance and it was a done thing. 

As the weeks passed, Nie Huaisang found himself visiting his friend every chance he had. Whenever it was warm enough, they would be on the porch together, Nie Huaisang laying in the sun in his animal shape, Lan Wangji sitting against him with a book or a piece of music he needed to study. Lan Qiren was never happy to find them like that, but could find nothing in his precious rules to forbid it. Lan Wangji usually just ignored him, obeying rules to the letter and refusing to consider other matters. As for Nie Huaisang, after a shichen spent in that form, he couldn’t care about things as useless as propriety and etiquette.

Everything was so much simpler when he was a snow leopard.

Everything, except Lan Xichen’s disapproval.

At least, Nie Huaisang thought of it as disapproval. Lan Wangji had more than once assured him that his brother bore him no ill-will, even hinting that he thought his friend was the one to bring coldness and distance into their acquaintance, but Nie Huaisang knew better. Lan Xichen always stayed a step or two away from him, especially when he was in his animal form, and he had that look on his face if he saw him playing with others as a leopard in the Cloud Recesses… though he usually had his expression more under control if Nie Huaisang was only with Lan Wangji, so of course his brother wouldn’t have noticed.

It really upset Nie Huaisang that Lan Xichen disliked him like that, though he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was just that Lan Xichen clearly liked Nie Mingjue and Lan Wangji so much, who were also Nie Huaisang’s favourite people in the world, and it stung that the affection couldn’t be extended to him.

-

It was almost fall, but the weather was still warm that afternoon, so of course Nie Huaisang and Lan Wangji were together on the porch of the house the latter shared with his uncle and brother.

Until then, it had not been a very pleasant day for Nie Huaisang. The results of his last batch of exams had arrived, confirming something he had known for months: he was an idiot, and would need to return the year after to try learning what everyone else had managed in one year. His brother would be furious, just as Lan Qiren had been angry at this stain on his career as a teacher. Well, Nie Huaisang assumed he was angry. He hadn’t said anything, but of course he had to be angry.

At least, in his other shape, those things stopped mattering. As long as he could lay in the sun and enjoy Lan Wangji’s company, Nie Huaisang was a happy snow leopard.

Of course, even that was ruined when Lan Xichen appeared on the path to the house and walked right toward them, carrying a message from his uncle who requested Lan Wangji’s presence. Usually ever obedient, it was clear that Lan Wangji felt somewhat reluctant to leave his friend when he had been crying so much earlier, before taking on his animal form. Still, open rebellion was not in Lan Wangji’s nature and he quickly went, leaving his poor friend in the company of his brother.

Unwilling to annoy Lan Xichen, Nie Huaisang forced himself to turn back into a human. It took effort, as it always did when he was upset, but he managed.

“You could have stayed like that,” Lan Xichen said with a hint of a frown. “You’ve had a rough day. Isn’t it easier for Nie people to handle their emotions in their other shape?”

Nie Huaisang felt himself blush at the accusation and looked away. It was true, of course. The instant he’d become human again, the pain of failing his exams so badly had quickly returned, with now the added shame of being told he was too emotional over this. It really was too much. Nie Huaisang was sure he was going to cry if he stayed human too long, and it made him almost angry that Lan Xichen could be so dismissive with him when he was usually so kind to others.

"Lan gongzi, why do you dislike me so much?” he asked, hating how whiny he sounded but unable to help himself.

Lan Xichen startled and stared at him, eyes wide with surprise.

“Why would you think such a thing?" 

"When you look at me, you often have that expression on your face,” Nie Huaisang explained with a shrug, daring to meet his eyes. “And you’re always looking at me if you’re nearby, like I’m going to make trouble otherwise. I won’t, you know! I’m trying hard not to! And then, also…" 

"Also?" 

Nie Huaisang shook his head. "No, it’s stupid. It’s really nothing. And it’s fine if you don’t like me!" 

"I’m sure your concerns are not stupid,” Lan Xichen replied in an oddly strangled voice. “Tell me what I’ve done to make you believe I dislike you, so that I may correct it in the future." 

It was an odd thing to say, as if it mattered what Nie Huaisang believed. Still, ordered to speak, it would have been wrong to stay silent. 

"Everyone tries to touch me in my other form,” he explained. “But you never do. Even when we were little… You’ve really disliked me from the start, I guess?" 

"I haven’t!” Lan Xichen cried out with emotion, before quickly regaining his composure. “Huaisang, I’ve never disliked you. And I’ve been… I’ve been as tempted by your fur as everyone else,” he admitted, some colour rising on his cheeks. “Even when I was little. But everyone was always touching you, often without your permission, so I thought it would be wrong to ask. I’ve long thought if you ever want to be pet by me you will say so, and otherwise it is better to leave you alone, since you are already pestered by so many others." 

"Lan gongzi, I think that’s the kindest thing anyone has ever told me,” Nie Huaisang spluttered, his heart racing so fast and so hard that it nearly made him dizzy. 

Nobody else ever seemed to care what he preferred in terms of boundaries, except Lan Wangji… but even he had had to learn over time, and at first he had imposed himself as much as all the others. Aside from that, the only people who hadn’t tried to pet Nie Huaisang upon seeing his other form were those who got too scared. 

“If that’s the case, I’ll have a word with your brother,” Lan Xichen retorted with a warm smile that, for once, reached his eyes. “You deserve more kindness than that, Huaisang." 

His cheeks ablaze, Nie Huaisang pouted. 

"Now you’re teasing, Lan gongzi. But… So, you would want to?" 

"Would you?” Lan Xichen retorted, his face a little redder in spite of the calm of his voice. 

It was tempting to say no, just to see what would happen. If it had been anyone else, Nie Huaisang would have put the other person to the test, refusing to be touched yet still transform to tempt them. But Lan Xichen wasn’t just any person, he had proved already he would respect Nie Huaisang’s choice. 

And as to whether Nie Huaisang wanted it or not… 

It had always bothered him that Lan Xichen alone wouldn’t try to pet him in his other form. Part of it was just that he liked attention. But even after he had started disliking the touch of most others, he had still wondered about Lan Xichen. If he gave scratches half as good as Lan Wangji's… and with those long fingers of his, delicate enough for a guqin, strong enough for a bow, how could he not? 

In a heartbeat, Nie Huaisang made his choice and turned into his other shape once more, quickly walking closer to Lan Xichen. The older boy knelt down next to him, but still made no movement to touch him. 

“You didn’t really answer my question, Huaisang,” he noted, sounding somewhat amused. 

A fair remark, and one that made Nie Huaisang’s heart clench in emotion. He didn’t want to turn back into a human, so instead he rubbed himself against Lan Xichen’s knees, hoping the invitation would be clear enough. 

It must have been. Lan Xichen chuckled, and ran one hand through the thick fur on Nie Huaisang’s back. 

“It’s softer than I thought,” Lan Xichen whispered in awe, a bright smile on his lips. “Worth the wait, certainly. Thank you for allowing me." 

For a moment, Nie Huaisang feared the other boy would leave it at that, content with this single touch. He was happily proven wrong when Lan Xichen gently pet his head, letting his fingers glide behind one ear to lightly scratch there, right where it felt the best. 

Nie Huaisang didn’t even realise he had started purring until Lan Xichen’s hands stilled on the back of his head. 

"Is it you making that noise?” he gasped. 

Nie Huaisang nodded, still purring. In this form he never felt as much embarrassment as when he was human, so he shamelessly nuzzled again Lan Xichen’s wrist, silently begging for him to resume scratching him. Even Lan Wangji and Nie Mingjue, who knew him so well, didn’t do it half as well. 

“You really are full of surprises, Huaisang,” Lan Xichen said with a gentle laugh.

Nie Huaisang purred louder, pressing himself harder against the other boy until he ended up half on Lan Xichen’s lap. A great place to be, although the more human part of him would probably die of shame later, when he would return to his other form and realise what he had done.

A problem for later.

At that moment, laying on Lan Xichen’s legs and with his head scratched to perfection, Nie Huaisang was the happiest he had ever been, and nothing could spoil that.