#i swear i'll finish them i've just been so busy lately :(

[capriscns]

this is me seeing that outer banks s4 is coming this year and i haven't even finished s3's madelyn gifs 🫡

[sturniolos-blog]

Can you do a dad Matt story but when his daughter is like older (10-13)

In trouble - Matt Sturniolo x Y/n oneshot

warnings - swearing, kissing, angst, arguing

—————————

12:34pm

"Sure, i'll come pick her up as soon as possible." I put a fake happy tone on my voice as the principle of my 12 daughter Estrella's school tells me i need to come pick her up because she punched a girl in the face.

The principle hangs up the phone as i sigh, tapping my pen twice before grabbing my papers and stacking them on my computer, i worked in an office as a journalist, luckily i already have what i need for my new article im producing.

"Leaving already?" My best friend at the office, Cassidy, asks me.

I nod, "Estrella." I say.

Her eyes widen, "Again? She's been getting in trouble a lot lately, she doing okay?" Cassidy takes a sip of her coffee as she asks.

I shrug, "I honestly don't know. Matt's been working a lot lately, he’s barely home lately and every time he's home we argue, which is probably why she's been acting up. It's not like i have time to punish her with work. And she seems perfectly okay with me taking her phone away, she stays in her room." I rant, i let out a huff.

"Alright, i gotta go, bye Cass." I smile.

"Bye babe, let me know how it goes." She smiles back at me.

—————————

12:48pm

I walk in the schools office, seeing Estrella looking down as she holds an ice pack on her right hand knuckles. I then walk in the principles office.

"Mrs. Sturniolo! Please, have a seat." Ms. Patterson, the principle offers.

I smile, "Hi, uh thanks.." I clear my throat as i take a seat.

Ms. Patterson flashes a smile at me, "So you know why you're here, we spoke on the phone, but i just wanted to give you a run down of what Estrella told me, if that's okay with you?" Ms. Patterson asks as she picks up a paper with notes on it.

I let out a breath and nod.

Ms. Patterson clears her throat, "Right, so when Estrella punched Gia, she said it was because she made fun of her for being stupid, which is obviously not okay, and should've never happened but at this school we do not respond in violence, and this has been the third offense in three weeks with something physical, i'm sorry to say but next time Estrella is looking at suspension or even expulsion." Ms. Patterson tells me.

I sigh and rub my forehead, "But this girl gia, she came at my daughters intellect, shouldn't that have been addressed?" I defend Ella.

Ms. Patterson nods, "Of course, and it was-"

"Was it? Does Gia also have a week of detention like my daughter or..." I trail off, waiting for the principle to speak.

Ms. Patterson lets out a dry cough but shakes her head. "Uh.. no, the insult was overruled once Estrella put her hands on Gia."

I nod, "Right, but if Estrella didn't start a fight, then the teachers would have never known about Gia insulting her, am i right?"

Ms. Patterson furrows her eyebrows, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Sturniolo. I'm not following."

I shrug, "Would Gia have gotten in trouble in the first place for insulting my daughter if Estrella didn't react the way she did or would it have just been ruled off?"

"Uh- well i'm sure a teacher would have heard Gia say some-"

I cut Ms. Patterson off, "And if a teacher didn't?" I ask.

Ms. Patterson stays silent.

"Yeah, right. My daughter would have been screwed either way, sorry but we are done here. Thank you for trying but i am always going to defend my daughter. I do apologize and i hope Gia's nose gets better." I say, standing up and leaving the room.

As i leave the office i see Estrella look up at me.

"Not a word and in the car, now." I demand, pointing at her to walk first.

Estrella goes to speak, "Bu-"

I cut her off, "Not a word."

—————————

1:12pm

We walk in the house and Ella takes off her shoes, she then goes to walk upstairs.

"Where do you think you're going? I've let it slide the past two times because i've been busy but lucky you i finished all my work today so we are going to have a nice long chat. Sit down, Estrella." I cross my arms as i look at her.

She looks at me and stands on the second stair, not moving.

"Estrella Leylani Sturniolo!" I yell.

Estrella jumps as i raise my voice, i was never the parent to yell at her, so that must of scared her.

I clear my throat, "Please sit down, Estrella." My tone lowering as she comes and sits down on the couch.

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" I ask as i stand in front of her.

She shrugs and bites her nails, habit she got from Matt.

"You're going to speak to me." I say but she stays silent. "Now!" I yell.

"Mom, what!?" She yells at me.

I bite my lip and nod, letting out a scoff.

"What's going on with you? Punching a girl in the face? This is your third physical altercation in three weeks! You're going to get expelled, Ella! Do you even care anymore!? You've gotten in more trouble in school then your father and I ever have!" I tell her.

"No, I don't care! I hate school and i hope every time Gia gets a bloody nose she thinks of me!" Estrella uncrosses her arms.

I let out a huff, "Just wait until i call your father. I was gonna give you a chance to explain yourself but you ruined it."

"Go ahead call dad! Maybe he'll actually come home for once!" Estrella stands up now.

I groan in frustration, "God, ella, what are you talking about?!" I scoff.

"Dad is barely home! And when he is all you guys do is argue! I- i thought maybe that if i got in trouble you guys would stop arguing a-and he would come home- and we could be a family again but clearly that's not gonna happen so forget it." Estrella says, running upstairs, i hear her door slam shut.

I sniffle and wipes my eyes, taking my phone out of my pocket and calling Matt.

The phone rings three times before he answers, "Hey, y/n. I'm kind of busy right now can i call you lat-"

I cut him off, "It's Ella. Can you come home, please?" My voice cracks.

"W-what? What's wrong? Is she okay?" Matt asks.

"C-can you just come home?" I ask, my voice evident that i'm on the verge of tears.

"Okay, i'm on my way, baby. Take breaths for me, sweetheart." He says softly, the most civil we've been in a while.

I take a breath like Matt said. "Okay, I love you." I say, almost in a whisper. The last time we said i love you was like two weeks ago.

I hear Matt chuckle, "I love you too, baby. Forever and always." Matt says before hanging up, presumably on his way now.

—————————

1:38pm

I was pacing in the living room, picking at my earlobe as i think of every time i went wrong.

The front door opens and i see Matt walk in, he was wearing a black t shirt, black jean jacket and black cargos.

“What took you so long?” I snap, probably shouldn’t have been my first move.

“Accident on the highway.” He replies, now taking his shoes off and setting his keys down.

“What happened?” He walks towards me.

I give him the write up that Estrella got today.

Matt’s eyebrows furrowed as he reads the paper, him opening his mouth to speak. “Isn’t this her th-”

“-Third time. Yes.” I confirm, nodding as i cross my arms.

Matt lets out a frustrated sigh, handing me back the paper and starting to walk upstairs.

“Matt wait,” I grab his hand.

“Estrella told me the only reason she got in trouble today was because she wanted you to finally come home, and for us to stop arguing.” I tell him.

He looks up at me, his look was upsetting, almost guilty. “What?”

I nod, “She’s been struggling and we haven’t known about it.”

He lets out a breath, him now clearly upset.

“We can call her down here to talk.” I suggest, playing with my fingers.

Matt rubs his stubble and nods, “Okay.”

“Estrella!? Come down here please!” I call out.

I hear her room door open and watch as she walks downstairs. Her eyes flicker between Matt and I and she lets out a huff.

I give her a sad smile, “Sit down, please.” I motion towards the couch.

She looks at me, not moving, like she had done before Matt got home.

“You can listen to your mother, Estrella.” Matt chimes in.

She scratched her head before walking and sitting on the couch, crossing her arms and leaning back.

Matt takes a seat next to her while i stay standing.

“What’s going on, Ella? Mom told me you got in trouble again.” Matt starts, looking at Ella.

Ella bites her lip and shrugs, bringing her nails up to her mouth to bite her nails.

I shake my head, “Tell him what you told me, El.” I say as Matt takes Estrella’s hand out of her mouth.

“You guys argue too much.” Ella says, her eyes flickering over to Matt as she speaks again, “And you’re never home anymore, dad. I miss you. A-and our family.” She says, her voice was quiet but determined to get her point through.

Matt nods, taking in a breath. “Your mother and I are perfectly fine, Ella. We argue yeah, but it’s not anything that deep, we love each other so much, just like we love you so much. And i’ve been working a lot with your uncles, but i can take some time off from now on, would that be okay with you?” He looks at ella, she smiles and nods.

Matt chuckles, “Great. No more getting in trouble, i’m only letting it slide because i know you don’t mean it.” Matt says.

She looks down and nods before Matt brings her into a hug, she hugs back. “Thanks dad..” She whispers against his chest.

He kisses her forehead. “Of course, baby.” He whispers back.

Ella gets up and looks at me, “I’m sorry for being rude, mom.. i don’t mean it, i pinky promise.” She holds her pinky out, i smile, that was a habit she got from me.

I interlock pinkies with her, “It’s okay, my love.” I smile before bringing her in for a hug.

She then goes back upstairs.

Matt stands up and looks at me. “I’m sorry i haven’t been home, and that i’ve been a bad father and husband.” He apologizes.

I shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck, “You’re an amazing husband and an even better father. I argue back all the time too. So as long as we work together we will stop, for ella.”

Matt nods, “For ella.” He then leans in and kisses me.

—————————

Took me too long to write and idk i think my writing has been getting way worse but i hope you guys like this !

taglist: @sturniolosmind @novasturniolo03 @hearts4chriss @vinniehackerslefttoe

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Can I request college!Rejanis as roommates who start off still not liking each other, but slowly start getting closer during the late nights they stay up studying.

Things Take Time, Right?

|| Regina George x Janis Imi'ike

|| Warnings; college au, swearing, Regina and Janis arguing, relationship repair, slow burn (with no clear ending), college party mentions

|| Summary; when Janis comes home from studying, she's met with a sight she never thought she would see.

Requests closed!

Started; November 11th

Finished; November 11th

~~~

College. Janis had started off pretty excited, that was until she learnt who her roommate was. How the hell was her luck that bad?! Regina George?! Was this a fucking joke? A nightmare she would wake up from? Unfortunately no. As she now found herself face to face with the blonde devil. Ugh, just what she wanted. Mondays were already annoying as is. And now she finds out Regina George is her roommate. On a Monday. Worse Monday in history.

Regina was just as thrilled as Janis was. She'd even gone the extra length to try and change rooms, but nobody budged out of theirs. The scream she let out when she returned to her dorm was deafening. Janis grimaced when she heard it and came out of her room to face the blonde.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Janis folded her arms across her chest, honestly if she had to listen to that scream one more time.. she would set the whole dorm on fire. Consequences be damned.

"Ugh, just shut up." Regina shoved past her, getting into her room and slamming the door behind her. Janis groaned loudly and stomped back to her own room. This would be a long ass year. Maybe in the new semester she could get a roommate switch...

It wasn't long before classes started. Janis tried to focus on her work, but Regina had parties pretty much every night. Almost sure the blonde was doing it just to piss her off. So she would spend most of her nights at the library, staying at the school as late as she possibly could just to avoid it all. Avoid her.

That was, until Regina realized she needed to actually get a grip on her classes. Her grades were slipping, so she threw less parties. Pissing off Janis wasn't worth the poor grades she was getting as a result. No matter how fun it may have been.

One night, after Janis returned from her study session. She found Regina on the dorm couch. Furiously writing into her notebooks while reading off pages from textbooks. Janis raised an eyebrow and smirked," did hell freeze over?" She asked. Regina scoffed and didn't respond. "Careful, gonna burn a hole through your paper at this rate."

"Fuck off." Regina threw her eraser at her, but missed and Janis just laughed. Walking over and taking a seat beside her. She looked over Regina's notes.

"I think this is the first time I've ever seen you study for anything." Honestly, Janis was amazed by the sight. She never thought she would see it.

"Just... stop. I'm trying to concentrate." Regina muttered, looking through the textbook again to make sure she hasn't missed anything. She knew she had a test coming up and if she got perfect, it would seriously help her grades.

"Not so fun when someone's distracting you, is it?" Janis retorted, earning a sharp glare. She raised her hands in innocence as she stood," fine, fine." Janis walked over to the little kitchen, getting some pizza pockets from the fridge and heating them up. Regina paused as the smell of food flooded her nose. When was the last time she ate? She glanced up at Janis, eyes softening ever so slightly.

"Could we share? I'll buy you something in the cafeteria tomorrow." Regina asked slowly, treading carefully and trying to seem innocent. As though she hasn't been a bitch to Janis. Janis simply sighed and raised an eyebrow at her. Debating it over in her head, she really wanted to say no. But she knew both of them were low on food. Neither has gone out grocery shopping in a hot minute; being too busy with classes. Though she still really wanted to say no, she also knew that would just make her life more miserable.

"Fine." When the pizza pockets were done, she tossed one at Regina with a smirk. "Catch."

Regina fumbled it and glared at Janis who burst out laughing, but luckily it only landed in Regina's lap. And not the ground. She took a bite from it and looked at her," ..thanks."

"Don't work yourself too hard, Reginald." Janis teased, earning an eye roll from Regina.

Janis headed into her own room. Maybe... things could be okay between them. They would never be perfect, but they'd be okay. Eventually. Things take time, right?

[zoe-is-amazingg]

You're just not my type Prt 3

Jock!Ethan Landry X Guitarist!F!Reader

W/C - 1.5 K

Summary - Ethan definitely has an idea about what you think about him

Warnings - just making out.

A/N - I'm so happy i'm trying to finish this rn. im also done wit the flashbacks sooo

Last part * Next part *

Request rules * Taglist request *

You slowly walk into school, your headphones over your ears, it's been a week since you've last seen Bryce and you're living for it. You practically wanted nothing to do with him and recently, someone else was definitely trying to get in with you.

Ethan, that is.

He has been interacting with you all week, talking to you, flirting with you, he even has been asking you about your guitar. You weren't used to all this male attention surrounding you. Ethan's friends were slowly talking to you, finding you interesting and asking things about you too.

But out of all of them, Ethan is the one that you seem to like the most. He seems caring and kind and nice. He was cute as hell, but you really didn't want this to be another Bryce situation where he ends up being a dick to you in five days.

You're walking and just minding your own business when someone pulls off your headphones and you turn around. Of course, it was Ethan.

"Ethan give them back!" You huff as he puts them on his head. You really wanted to go to art early. He nods his head and hums to the tune of the song just a little bit before he takes them off and puts them around your neck.

"Is that...Your own music?" He asks you, looking deeper into your eyes than anyone else ever has before. He had this strong cologne on and on top of how his hair looked it the sun, it was intoxicating to you. You wanted to rip the varsity jacket off and kiss him.

"Uh, yes, actually. It's just something I've been working on for the moment, nothing too special." You state and He nods. He smirks at you and then steps back.

"That's really good," He states, and you blush, what the hell was happening to you. In a minute you'll start giggling like a fucking schoolgirl. "Can I meet you in the music room after this class. I really want to hear you play in person." You shake your head, and he sighs. You look into his eyes for a moment and groan. "Fuck it, sure, I'll see you there."

You slowly walk away and sigh as you put your headphones over your ears. You arrive at art, being a bit over 5 minutes late, you were never late and by the way everyone was looking at you, you could tell their thinking the same. You take your headphones off and take your seat at the back.

"Gentlemen and Gentlewoman, I really want this next piece for your portfolio to really tell me about your emotions." The teacher says. You weren't one for emotions really, but maybe these new feelings for your browned haired friend could bring out some good work. "I want this to reflect what the past month has been like in about three to five paintings, show me your emotions and the journey that your emotions go through."

"What the hell." You mumble. This month for you has been terrible, except for the past week. Your friend, Casey, looks at you. He was a great artist and an even better friend; he calls you constantly.

"I know you're not good with your emotions, but you should really use your feelings for Ethan. Their only blossoming into new for you, Bryce was a shit dude. Ethan seems like he's good for you. You seem happier." That was deep as hell. What the fuck.

You will admit to yourself that you do seem happier ever since Ethan's come into your life. So maybe that party was worth it. "I don't know, he asked me to meet him after this class to get him to watch me play. I don't know if I should go." You mumble.

"Y/N. I swear to god. If you don't go, you'll wish you did because I'll legit kill you." Casey says and you groan. "Fuck you, fuck it. I'll go!" You groan.

"Yessss! Please do! He loves you! It's so obvious." Casey rolls his eyes. You roll your eyes and get up and walk away. You put on your apron and grab 3 paint brushes, a cup of water and some light blue, pastel purple and pink and yellow. That's what you felt like doing at the time anyway

You go back to your desk and sit down. You place all the objects onto the table and slump back down into your seat. You turn around with your chair and grab a canvas and paint palette.

You turn back around to your desk and place the canvas and palette down. You squeeze a little bit of each color onto the palette and wet the smallest paint brush you grabbed. You dip it into the pink paint, someone in the corner of the classroom catches your eye. You slowly take off your headphones and put them into your bag.

"I'm here for Y/N." Ethan says. Your jaw drops. What the fuck is he doing? You don't come to his basketball practice. You were painting, you're not packing up because you just started. "Why does Y/N need to come with you?"

"Something important has come up and I really need her to come with me Mrs Warner." Ethan says. He looks at you and you shake your head. "Sure, go ahead, take Y/N. I'm not fighting with 21-year-old about a girl leaving class early."

"I'll pack up your stuff." Casey smirks at you. You grab your bag and leave with him. You both walk in silence for a moment, you're finding the right words because in your head, everything you wanted to say was mixed together.

"Where are we going?" You ask. He shakes his head at you and chuckles. Fuck. He is not taking you to the studio. "By the way your face expressions are, I think you just realized." He chuckles at you. You didn't want to play for him, you were planning on not showing up. But what's the worst that can happen?

You walk with him for a moment and then you both arrive at the studio. You really weren't keen on playing for him. He opens the door and there's your guitar, in all its beauty. "Y/N. Look, if you don't want to play for me, that's fine, I don't want you to feel like you have to." He says to you, clearly it was obvious that you were nervous to play infront of him.

"No, I want too. I just haven't really played my own music in front of someone before." You mutter, you both go inside the studio, and he closes the door. You pick up the electric guitar and set it up so it can make noise from the speakers. Ethan looks at you and slowly pulls the guitar out of your hands and lightly rests it on the wall.

He grabs your hands and looks at you directly into your eyes. He slowly rubs circles into the back of your hands. He drops onto his knees, and you can't even believe this is happening to you. "Are you okay?" He asks.

"Fine, fine. Don't worry about me." You whimper. He nods, clearly not convinced with your answer. He hands you back the guitar and you turn the volume up on it lightly. "Just pretend I'm not here."

You close your eyes. Fuck why is the this so damn scary. You start playing a little bit to see if it's tuned. It is and now you can't waste any more time. You slowly start with a hammer on and start playing. You play for about two minutes before you stop. Ethan's jaw is wide open and shocked.

"That's really fucking good." He mutters. You didn't know what to say. He did not just say your good. It felt like a praise. It was a praise. God, you wanted him so bad. You hand him the guitar. "Sit down, I'll give you a lesson." You say and his eyes light up. "Really?"

"Yes, now sit down before I change my mind." You sigh. He nods and sits down. The guitar is placed on his lap, and he picks it up the way you did before. He puts the strap over his shoulders. "What next ma'am?" He asks jokingly. You walk over and stand over him. You grab his hands and use your hands lead where his are going.

You let him play a little riff and then stop. He looks up at you and says "Fuck it, I cant pretend anymore." He mutters and you tilt your head.

What is he on about? Your thoughts are cut short when his lips connect with yours. Your lips move and fit perfectly together. He slides the guitar off him and places it onto the floor. You slowly move your body so you're standing basically on top of him. You slowly get pulled onto his lap and you hook your hands around his neck.

Someone opens the door, and you break the kiss to look at the person. It's the one person you did not want to talk too.

Bryce.

Taglist - @idky5

[sturniolotrip-samandcolby-lover]

Matt sturniolo -little bean

Warnings -swearing,mention of abortion, mention of sex , vomiting use of y/n, arguing .Small age gap (matt 20 and reader 22) silent treatment

Angst/fluff Matt

Author note -thinking of making this into a series so let me know what you all think

Part 1

Word count-2k

I brush the hair out of my face ,as I wake up to a empty house.The house was full of silence as my boyfriend Matt and his triplets brother had left the house already for some business meetings taking place at the ware house.I look at the clock on my phone 10:47am shit thats late for me and im still shattered i dont even feel like ive slept at all. Im awoken from my sleepy daze by my stomach rumbled ,I get up brush my hair quickly and head to the kitchen to get something to eat .

I raid the fridge and cupboards in search for something to eat , I decide to have chopped up lettuce,pickled gherkins and some jolly ranchers .I finish my breakfast and head to the couch to watch some TV ,as I sit down I see a note that's been left on the coffee table it said 'hey baby me Chris and nick have got a few more meetings today then what we thought might be abit later home will bring back some late lunch with us .Matt xxxx'. A smile is present on my face the whole time I read his quick note with my cheeks blushed , Matt's smallest actions can still have a massive effect on me even after being together for over a year now .

I flick through the channels as nothing can satisfy me , I decided to open the YouTube app and put some Sam and Colby on specifically the conjuring from last year's hell week .I'm half way through the video when all of a sudden I feel so nauseous I can feel it building in my stomach like a tornado swirling around inside of me , it starts of slow and the next thing I know I'm running to the nearest bathroom thankfully it's matt and i shared one .I throw the toilet seats up and fall to my knees and close my eyes as the first bit of vomit comes rushing up my throat and out of my mouth .I sit there for the next hour bringing up whats left of this mornings breakfast and last nights dinner.

After minutes of waiting for the sickness to come back .I decided to stand up and reach for my toothbrush and paste ,as I brush my teeth I start to think of anything that could of gave me a bug or if there was a stomach bug going around .After minutes I've came to know conclusion of my sickness when it hits me .....shit Matt and I are usually careful if we don't use a condom we pull out or we get the morning after pill but a while ago I joined the triplets on their 6 million subscribers video .During the night having all the huts to ourselves Matt and I decided to get the hut as far from nick and Chris as possible .It safe to say there was some very animalistic behaviour going on in our tent that night , in the heat of the moment no condom or pull out was used and I could exactly get plan b pill from the gift shop so we just left it and thought well it's not going to happen .

I decide that before I start to get myself worked up in a panic , I'll go to the shop and do a test before the boys get back .Once I feel like I won't be sick again I go and throw some leggings and a jumper on leaving my top to go bra-less as I'm reminded of some achiness in them .I throw some crocs on and grab my car keys as i head out .

*Arrives back from shop*

I walk back into the house and I'm thankful that it's still silent meaning I'm the only one here .This is my first ever pregnancy scare so I'm not expert , I end up buying 7 different tests and some mints to settle my stomach and yet some more gherkins.I wonder around the kitchen with my hands full of tests in search of a cup or container as i dont feel like peeing 6 different times .I decided to keep one unused so i can do it again with matt incase he doesn't believe me .After finding a disposable cup I drink 3 cups of water and walk around the house doing some cleaning while I wait for the water to hit my bladder .I feel a urge to pee and walk to the bathroom, I position the disposable cup where it's supposed to be and let me bladder do it's job I open all the tests and when I'm finished place the 6 sticks into the cup .I start pacing the bathroom but decided that wouldn't be the best thing to do in this situation .So I make my way to the kitchen and put a kettle on figuring that a hot drink may help my nerves while killing the time awaiting the tests.I walk back to the bathroom once then minutes are up and as I pull all the tests out I stand in shock as they all say the same ....I'm pregnant.

Fuck fuck fuck is the only word that is running in my head , what am I going to do ,what am I going to say , what's Matt going to say his career is at its prime right now what will a baby do with this .Fuck their triplets , twins run on my side of the family what if there's more then one baby in there .I hold onto one of the tests in my shaky hands as I pace the bathroom.After minutes of walking around the small white tiled room I decided to hide all the tests and put them in a draw in Matt and my bedroom and I decide to text matt.

Y/n: hey babe was just wondering do you know how long you're gonna be xx

My phone pings instantly telling me that most likely it woul be Matt had texted me back

Matt:yeah not long just grabbing some maccies won't be long everything okay at home ? Xx

Y/n: yeah just got something to talk to you about xx

I avoid my phone until he gets back .I'm startled as I hear the door fling open and just one set of foot steps ."y/n?" I hear his familiar voice Matt is calling after me ."in the living room" I shout back to him .Seconds later he appears looking as perfect as usual "where's Chris and nick?" I ask him "they was fucking around when we was supposed to be signing cards for merch getting sent out so they went back to the warehouse to do their signing , Laura is gonna drop them off later tho .What's this thing you wanna talk about?" I pause with words moving rapidly around my head trying to think of the right way to tell him that I'm now pregnant with his child .I decide that no words are the right words so I take him by the hand and lead him to the bathroom.

His body stills while his eyes move over what the tests all say .The room is silent , too silent."Matt says something " I say breaking the silence ."when did it happen" he says still not taking his eyes off the tests "at the safari , in the hut that night" I respond back to him "fuck" he mutters to himself as he storms out the door .I stand there in silence as my eyes well up with tears.I hear the jingle of Matt's car keys and the door slamming telling me that Matt had left again and gone in his car .I walk into the living room now numb with emotions my hand rests on my lower stomach now knowing that through the layers of skin and muscle is our baby ,my baby the size smaller then a bean in this moment I know that I've got to keep this baby wether Matt wants it or not .

Minutes pass and my nauseous feeling comes over me again as I run to the bathroom again.I spend all the best part of an hour again with my head in the toilet when I stand up again feeling weak at my knees I brush my teeth for the 3rd time today trying to get rid of the vile aftertaste left in my throat .I hear the door go again but i hear 3 set of footsteps this time ,and voices nick ,Chris and matts voice ."what are you gonna do bro?" I hear Chris ask Matt "I don't know"he responds "well you and y/n have gotta talk this out Matt you can't just leave her in the bathroom like you did last time " I hear nick snap at the boys .

"Y/n" I hear nick call out me ."I'm on the bathroom just about to come out" I shout back as I walk into the kitchen .Matt's angry stare softens as he seen my face , I'm now pale and clammy with my skin layered in a thin amount of sweat ."congratulations" Chris says breaking the tension in the room "thank you" I say with a half smile ."so I think you two have gotta talk about this" nick states ."I'm not getting rid of it" I say quickly that being the only thing I'm sure of right now ."I wasn't even going to suggest that" Matt says with anger in his voice .Nick ,places his hand up to Matt in a urge to shush him "calm Matt" he says to him."is it mine ?"matt asks me looking me in the eye "are you fucking kidding me" i say in the exact tone that matt has.Nick and chris take this as a hint and both excuse themselves to different rooms "yeah I'm being real" he says raising his voice , it being full with anger ."you're the only person I've slept with matt you know that" i say to him storming off into our shared room .

*Few hours later*

I hear a knock at the bedroom door hoping that it's Matt ."come in" I shout sounding optimistic.The door opens and nick strides in with a sorry smile on his face "so that was intense" he says as he sits down next to me on the bed "yeah" i agree with him ."so i dont know if this is the right thing to say but im really glad your'e keeping the baby" he says nudging my arm ."yeah i am too , i just hope that matt feels the same " i say smiling properly for the first time today ."alright its getting late so I'll leave you to sleep i heard creating a baby can be tiring "he says with a small laugh.

Just as nick leaves the room Matt enters it , he ignores me acting as if I'm not in the room as he goes to the wardrobe grabbing some spare pillows and duvet he walks back out of the room as I sit in bed listening to him getting comfortable on the sofa .I think to myself how much of a long night I'm in for I can never sleep properly when I'm not with Matt and even worse knowing that he's mad at me .As the thoughts come to my head added with the extra hormones that pregnancy has brought on my eyes start to fill with tears when they fall down my face .I have so many questions running over my head thinking how I'm going to bring up a baby by myself although nicks previous words bring some form of comfort to me .As the clock strike 4 am and im still wide awake and emotional i decide to head to the bathroom and take a calming bath .Im thankful that both nick and chris's rooms are on different levels as I run the tab the sound of water echos through the room .I rid of my clothes and get into the bath now full of bubbles I close my eyes in attempt to relax.

Suddenly my nauseousness creeps up on me again , who ever called morning sickness 'morning' has never experienced this cus it seems to be all throughout the day already .I jump up from the bath with my wet hair sticking to my body as I move quickly to the toilet I throw the lid up and sit on the floor as bile begins to leave my body .I startled as a soft towel is wrapped around my body ,I look up to see Matt crouching next to me with his eyes full of tears himself .His hand rubs circles on my back as I start gagging again ."let it out baby it's okay" he whispers I release bile 3 more times as I pull back and rest my head on Matt's shoulder as he pushes my hair out of my face ."come on let's go to bed and talk " he says so quietly careful not to wake his two brothers up .He stands up and picks me up bridal style still with the towel wrapped around me .He carries me to our bed and uses his foot to close the door as he places me gently on the bed .He goes to our wardrobe and fetches me some shorts and one of his tops , he helps me get dressed as my body is weak from the vomiting.Once I'm dressed I lay in bed as Matt walks over to the other side of the bed and jumps in to bed with me .I sit waiting for him to speak "y/n im sorry for what i said and done earlier i know that you would never cheat on me and id never ask you to get rid of it .Whatever you choose ill support you .Im sorry ive treated you like that when you needed me the most ..." I cut his speech off with a kiss "I know , I know babe and we're going to be fine I want to keep this baby tho" I say to him looking him in his eyes "we're going to be a mommy and daddy" he says to me smiling ."we best tell our parents" I say to him before falling asleep in his arms .

[asktheoger]

Aya walked through the busy streets, snack in hand. The Ogerpon was starting to feel a bit hungry. She knew the drill for eating at the festival: make sure she’s far away from everyone, hidden away in some corner of the quiet residential area with her dads.

She soon spotted her parents among the crowds and made her way towards them, but frozen in her tracks as she drew near.

They look like….they’re having fun! Aya thought happily. While her parents always looked forward to the mask festival, they never seemed as excited as her…but seeing all three of them, even Tomo, happy and enjoying themselves like they never had before, filled Aya up with an overwhelming sense of joy.

I don’t wanna interrupt them…the Ogerpon frowned from behind her mask. Oh! I know! I’ll just go and eat my snacks really quickly and then come back so they don’t have to worry!

With her plan all figured out, Aya turned away and walked towards the distant houses with a smile.

- - -

As Aya sat down, ready to eat her goodies, something caught her eyes before she could remove her mask.

Another kid…around her age? He looked….kinda lonely.

Who spends the mask festival all by themself? Aya wondered, standing up. That’s so sad! Well, I know how to fix that!

Momo let out a squeak of alarm, cards flying everywhere as he fumbled his hand in shock.

“Oh no!” Aya let out a small gasp. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you! Here, let me help!” The Ogerpon quickly hopped off her porch and onto the Applin’s, picking up the scattered cards.

“O-oh, um…,” Momo sputtered timidly, staring at her in surprise. “Y-you….you don’t���.”

“Alrightie, here you go!” Aya smiled, handing the boy a stack of messily stacked cards.

“Um….thanks…,” the Applin looked down, methodically evening out the pile.

“What game were you playing?” Aya asked, sitting down next to him.

“O-oh…um….Hanafuda,” Momo quietly replied.

“Hanafuda? I love Hanafuda!!! It’s so fun!” Aya exclaimed, startling him with her sudden raise of volume. “I only really play it a few days before the festival starts with my dads, but I wish I played it more!”

“Y-you can, if you want to,” Momo added. “It’s…well…it’s a little weird if you play it outside of the festivals, but…um….well, I guess that didn’t stop me….”

“How many times have you played it?”

“Um….I’ve been playing since I was five, and…I try to play at least one game everyday, even if it’s just against myself…”

“WOW!” Aya exclaimed, leaning close to Momo. The Applin could feel his face grow red as she doled out praise. “That's awesome!! I bet you're a- no, THE best Hanafuda player ever!! Can I please play a game with you? Pleaaaaseeeee???"

"I....um...," Momo looked down at his deck, up at Aya, then down at his deck again

"Um...okay, sure, " he nodded, starting to shuffle the deck.

"Yay!!" Aya wiggled with anticipation as he drew the first card.

- - -

Many hours and many Hanafuda games later, the sound of laughter filled the air.

"And then," Aya finished her story with a giggle. "I realized it wasn't a monster at all, but a teeny tiny Skwovet!"

Despite his initial shyness, Momo found himself chuckling along with her. It was an odd feeling, being around her...something about the young girl made Momo feel at ease...was it her excitement? Her energy? He couldn't put his finger on it, but she was unlike anyone he had ever met.

"And...that's the last season," Momo smiled, placing down his last card. "I win."

"Again?!?" Aya exclaimed, her eyes widening in surprise. "Aw, darn! I'll beat you next time, I swear!"

Momo looked up at the sky, and, to his surprise, the moon was already past its highest point in the sky. "Oh...it's getting late," he frowned. "My family's probably gonna be looking for me..."

"Oh! Mine too!" Aya recalled her long forgotten pile of snacks. "It's funny....it doesn't feel like I've been playing long at all!"

"Yeah, me too...," Momo agreed. "I...I wish I could've played more with you..."

Suddenly, Aya was hit with a burst of genius.

"We don't have!" Aya smiled. "At least, not for very long! You can come visit me sometime, and we can play more then!" She pointed behind him. "I live up there in the mountains!"

"In the mountains? Woah..." Momo's eyes shone with awe. "Your family must be really strong if they live that far up..."

"Hehe, they are!" Aya bragged, placing her hands on her hips in pride. "I know a really cool clearing that's perfect for playing games! We can meet there!"

"Oh that sounds fun! Um....," he paused. "But how will we recognize each other...?"

"Ooh! We can wear our masks!" Aya suggested. "If we can play Hanafuda outside of the festival, why can't we wear our masks, too?"

"Ooh...good point," Momo nodded in agreement. "That....sounds good to me!"

"Yay!" Aya smiled and pulled the unsuspecting boy into a hug.

In her arms, Momo felt all the tension that had built up over the festival finally release...his posture relaxed as he lightly embraced her back, a small smile forming underneath his mask.

"AYAAAAAAA!" Upon hearing her name, the young girl hesitantly broke the hug. "Oh, that's my Oto-San!" She told him. "Well, I'll see you soon!! It was nice to meet you, Momo!"

As the Ogerpon ran off, the Applin shly waved to her. "Good-bye, Aya..!"

- - -

"Oh, thank goodness you're alright," Tomo embraced his daughter tightly, finally letting go of the breathe he hadn't realized he was holding.

"Sorry, Oto-San," Aya shyly apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you! You guys were having so much fun and I didn't wanna interrupt you...plus, I was with a friend, so i was safe!"

"Well, I'm glad you're alright," Miu sighed, gently stroking her head.

"Do you need to be carried back?" Kenji asked, kneeling down to Aya's level.

"Nope! I'm not quite tired yet!" The Ogerpon replied. "I bet I can walk all the way back by myself!"

"We'll see about that," Miu chuckled.

"Please don't push yourself too hard," Tomo added.

"Don't worry, I wont!" Aya replied with a grin.

- - -

AYA, HER DADS, AND MOMO HAVE LEFT THE FESTIVAL

[broken-glowsticks]

What Once Was Mine

Chapter 18 - Not Alone

Genre: Childhood friends, Eventual Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Love corner/love triangle, love rivals, Series.

Not all chapters will be proofread!!

Warnings: 18+, mdni, swearing, mentions of sex and alcohol consumption, additional warnings will be added to individual chapters as needed. Let me know if I missed anything!

Additional Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, Binnie is seriously the best boyfriend ever

Previous • Main • Next

It took you a couple of hours of enduring the end of the world as you knew it before you finally felt like you could start driving. Honestly, you didn't want to leave. It felt like if you stayed in the parking lot, you could simply pretend that this was just a bad dream. If you stayed there, you could pretend that you would still be welcomed back into Hyunjins home with welcoming arms like always. But you had to go home and grab some extra clothes.

At some point in the middle of all your possibly overdramatic doom you had managed to get a hold of Felix. Initially, you didn't want to bother him. It was late and you knew he had been cramming for an important exam, but in the end your agony won out, so you caved and called him anyway. Funnily enough he picked up on the second ring, very much unlike Jisung and Changbin, sounding so startled and groggy that you couldn't help but feel your spirits lift for the briefest of moments. You had totally assumed he also wouldn't pick up the phone.

“I'm glad you called, I fell asleep at my desk and would have probably stayed here all night,” he mumbled, smiling sleepily over the line. You had managed a laugh and were even able to get in some gentle teasing before your sniffles eventually gave you away. 

It was only after some insistence from Felix for you to tell him what had happened and a brief rundown over the phone (along with more tears) that Felix urged you to come over. Well, less urged and more demanded lovingly. He absolutely would not take no for an answer and you loved him so much for that. So here you were, quickly running home to gather a few things to spend the night with him. 

You didn't linger in your apartment long. The longer you were inside, the more the fact Jisung wasn't home seared itself into your brain - exacerbating your loneliness and frustration. You didn't want to be mad at Ji, you knew it wasn't his fault he was so busy, he was probably even asleep, but you couldn't help the sense of betrayal. He should've been there for you,  you wanted him to be there… Shaking the nasty thoughts from your head you finished gathering your things. In a flash you were back in your car, overnight bag flung haphazardly in the back seat of your car, tumbling around as you zoomed to Felix and Chan's shared apartment. 

“Hey, you're here sooner than I thought,” Felix said as he opened the door, his beaming smile already doing wonders for your nerves. Wordlessly the two of you fell into a hug, his surprisingly strong embrace helping to ease your aching emotions before he ushered you inside. 

“I'm sorry for-” you began, only to be cut off by Felix shushing you.

“Don't start. You have nothing you need to apologize for,” Felix said sternly, his hand holding yours tightly as he led you to the couch. 

“I just… I know you're busy studying and all. You have big exams coming up.” 

“It's not like I'm taking them tomorrow. Besides, I've been cramming all day, taking breaks and focusing on other things is healthy,” Felix countered, taking your duffle and throwing it onto his bed before quickly making his way back to you with his fluffiest blanket. “Are you hungry?” He asked gently

“Not really…” you mumbled as he draped the soft fabric around you. 

“Okay, I'm going to get you some water, I'll be right back.” You nodded tiredly, drawing your legs up onto the couch as Felix fetched your water. You didn't realize how thirsty you were until you had the cup to your lips and were guzzling the liquid down greedily. 

“Want another glass?” Felix asked, although he didn't even wait for your answer before he took the empty cup from your hands. When he was back with the refill is when he finally settled on the couch, the two of you facing each other as you sipped at the water with less urgency this time. The two of you were silent for a long while, Felix watching you with gentle eyes. Eventually you felt ready to talk.

“You know what Hyunjin told me tonight?” You began, your throat feeling tight. 

“What did he tell you?” Felix asked gently, leaning in and placing a supportive hand on your knee. 

“He… he told me he loved me, he said he's been in love with me and that he's never said anything because he was scared.” For a moment Felix was silent, blinking as he processed what you just said before he scooted closer to you.

“O-oh, uh, wow. You didn't mention that over the phone,” was all he could manage to say. 

“I was still hurting over him kicking me out of his life… and I was also upset from not getting a hold of Ji or Changbin…” 

Glancing over you noticed Felix adjusting next to you, sitting more comfortably before stretching out an arm. Unfurling yourself, you gratefully leaned into his side as he rested his head on top of yours, his hand gently rubbing your shoulder. You and Felix may not have been close for long, but you were happy it happened. You didn't know how you would've handled tonight if you had to do it alone. 

“So, for clarity, you're just upset because Hyunjin ‘kicked you out of his life’ as you put it?”

“Don’t forget the part where neither my boyfriend nor my remaining best friend answered my phone call,” you replied petulantly before feeling guilty and hastily adding, “but I get it's stupid to be upset at them for that.” 

“Well, I dunno, considering the fact you barely get to see either of them anymore, I can get why you're upset they're not here now.” You felt a bit of relief by Felix's validation, but that feeling soon went away with his next question. “But why did Hyunjin say he couldn't be friends with you anymore? Why didn’t he try to find a compromise like he did when you decided to date Bin?” 

You had only given Felix the most bare bones explanation of what happened tonight, not getting too much into detail about the painting you found, its title, or the specifics of Hyunjins confession. It seemed like now was the time to explain. Pressing your lips together, you ran your finger over the edge of your cup, debating over if you even had the emotional strength to recount what happened just hours prior. But you also knew Felix, if he's asking then he truly just wants to know, and who knows, maybe talking about it would help you sort your own feelings on what just happened. 

Placing your cup down on the floor you pulled the blanket closer around you, cuddling to Felix as you began your explanation. It took a bit of time for you to get through what happened, why you were there, why you let yourself in and waited, how you discovered the painting and what it looked like, and the shock of Hyunjin finding you. You had broken out into tears when you got to Hyunjins confession, repeating almost verbatim the words he said and your reaction. Felix sat silently, listening intently and comforting you as you cried. When you were done Felix looked as if he were deep in thought, carefully considering his words before speaking. 

“What's on your mind?” You asked, blowing your nose into tissues your sunny friend got for you right as you started crying. 

“I just… I don't want to say anything that would make you upset. Not right now.”

“Whatever you have to say can't possibly hurt me more than what I've already heard tonight,” you reassured, tossing your wadded up tissue paper into a nearby trash can. Felix sighed. 

“It’s just… You got upset at Hyunjin for not confessing, but in all this time you were around him, you did the same thing. You can be upset at your lifelong friendship ending, but I don't think it's fair of you to be mad at him for not saying anything when you never said anything either.” Being slapped in the face 100% would have hurt less than hearing the words Felix just said to you. Your knee-jerk reaction was to pull away, get defensive, but before you could he continued, his hold on your shoulder tightening. 

“I'm not saying this to make you mad, I'm just making an objective observation, because I don't want you to hold on to any kind of resentment. But at any time you could've told him how you felt, told him that you loved him. Even now he doesn't even know that you feel the same, just that he hurt you. You may not have said it ‘cause you were too mad or ‘cause you're dating someone else, but while he did a stupid thing sleeping with other girls - and yeah he did string you along - at least he fessed up in the end. He came clean, about his feelings for you, about his shortcomings, and he even apologized. Like I said, you can be upset, but can't you at least be glad he said something and did what he thought was best for the both of you?” 

You sat for a moment, feeling rather pouty because ultimately you knew Felix made a valid point. Well, he made quite a few valid points. You could've been the first to confess, to have risked rejection for the sake of your relationship with Hyunjin, but you never did. Like Hyunjin, you too feared change, feared being told he didn't feel the same, you too wanted to hold on to the fantasy that he was yours in the fleeting moments you two were pressed together instead of taking the steps to make that fantasy real. While you hated that he felt so inadequate - so jealous - next to Changbin that he thought ending your life-long friendship was the best option for you both, if you put your feelings aside you knew even that was an act of love. Even now all Hyunjin wanted was what was best for you and for himself, even if that meant he wasn't in the picture. The more you thought about it, the more it broke your heart. 

“And as for Han and Changbin, do you plan on telling them everything that happened?” Felix's question pulled you from your thoughts, causing you to turn to him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, are you going to tell them why Hyunjin stopped being friends with you?” Wow, was Felix heaping the heavy questions on you.

“Oh, I hadn't thought about that…”

“You don't have to answer me right now, I just asked so you could think on it. I just know they're going to freak out once they realize you called them so many times, and so late.” 

“Especially Binnie…” you said with a sigh, “he knew I was going to Hyunjins to try and work things out.” 

“Wait, he knew? And he didn't wait up to see how things went? Or even send a text to see how you were doing?” 

“No,” You said with a shake of your head. “He went into work just before I left, he probably got caught up on whatever project he's got going on.” Felix made a face that was hard for you to read before settling back into the couch.

“Still… if he knew, he should've at least checked on you.” The look on Felix’s face told you he had more to say, but whatever was on his mind, he kept it to himself. The most you could do was hum in agreement as the two of you settled into silence on the couch, the both of you pondering. 

It was a random social media notification on your phone that made you eventually look at the time. It was almost three in the morning. 

“Woah, no wonder I’m so exhausted, I thought it was just all the crying,” you said in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, showing Felix the time.

“I guess we should get to bed, you’re sleeping with me okay?” You once again only nodded, the two of you preparing for bed separately. Your body was heavy and you only had just enough energy to remember to send a quick text to your boss that you weren’t feeling well and would be needing the next couple of days off before you sluggishly made your way to Felix room.

He was already sitting in bed, waiting for you. With a tired smile you flopped into bed next to him, feeling rather spoiled as he tucked you in and turned out the lights before settling in next to you, stroking your hair and humming a gentle song. Your insides were still a mess, but things felt just a little bit better after talking with your friend. You felt a bit more supported, a bit less disparaged, a bit more ready to take a pause before beginning to reconstruct your life without Hyunjin in it. 

•.*°•♤•°*.•

It was a little past noon by the time you woke up according to the comically large digital alarm clock Felix kept by his bed. You were feeling ragged and exhausted, a sharp contrast to your slight emotional relief. Once your senses somewhat came about you you became aware of a noise coming from right outside Felix’s room. In wracking your brain for even a single guess as to what that noise could be you vaguely recalled how earlier in the morning you had heard the sound of a muffled pounding, followed by the feeling of Felix getting out of bed. You don’t recall Felix ever returning to bed and had managed to slip effortlessly back into sleep when you remained undisturbed. It was only when you stumbled out of Felix’s bedroom and were bum rushed by Changbin’s tight embrace that you realized that the pounding noise earlier was probably Changbin’s fist hitting Felix’s door. You were still groggy as he held you tightly, you were just barely able to wrap your arms around him when you noticed through your bleary eyes that Jisung and Chan were also here. 

“Hey, you guys are alive,” you joked with a teasing smile. You couldn’t help but notice Jisung wince, you certainly felt Changbin’s embrace get tighter, making it hard to breath.

“I’m so sorry Bunny,” Changbin suddenly said, “Felix said you had a hard time last night. I’m sorry… I should’ve been here…” Changbin muttered against your hair. You were torn between wanting to agree with him out of hurt or reassure him because, well, it was late. Luckily you didn’t have to make that choice, because Felix’s usually chipper tone came out more sternly than you’ve ever heard him be before.

“You really should have Bin, now let the poor girl go brush her teeth, she just woke up.”

Reluctantly Changbin did as Felix said, releasing you after placing a soft kiss to your forehead. There was an odd look on Changbin’s face when you looked up at him, you attempted to reassure him with a small smile but that only seemed to make things worse. There was an obvious tension in the room and you were only all too happy to escape it as you made your way to the bathroom. You unfortunately only received a modicum of respit as, when you closed the door behind you, you could hear the boys start their conversation back up again, talking in strained, hushed tones.

“Felix, you don’t have to be so harsh on him,” Chan admonished gently but sternly.

“Chris, no. Don’t defend him,” Felix snapped back, a clear edge in his voice. “I know you guys are older than me but I’m not happy here. He knew what she was going there for, we were up ‘til three a.m., she sat in her car alone for at least in hour before even coming here, if not longer, cause nobody picked else would pick up their fucking phone.”

“We were busy with work, we didn’t know-” Jisung piped up only to be cut off by Felix.

“Exactly Han, you guys were working, you guys were awake. It’d be one thing if you guys just went to sleep, but it’s the fact that all three of you were awake at the time but were too busy working to even stop and check who’s phone was vibrating on the goddamn table. Especially Bin who, again, knew she was going to try and patch things up with Hyunjin last night. Answer me this Bin, did you not think anything could fucking go wrong???”

The room fell silent for a long while before you just barely managed to hear Chanbin speak up.

“No… I didn’t…” 

Unable to hear anymore you pull away from the door, purposefully dragging your feet as you washed up, did your business and brushed your teeth. As you were towel drying your hair you noticed that the muffled arguing had subsided. It was so eerily quiet that you half wondered if the guys had left, assuming they needed to step away to cool down. Well, you were half right. Sitting on the couch was Changbin and Jisung, the two of them holding a hushed and strained conversation. They hadn’t noticed you exit the bathroom at all, the two of them too wrapped up in their conversation with each other.

You took the opportunity to really look at them, it had been a while since you’d seen the two of them at the same time and it felt surreal. Jisung had promised the two of you would eat dinner together the last time you were at their studio, that was almost a whole month ago now and that dinner never happened. You had only seen Changbin the morning before after days of only being able to spend sporadic texts back and forth. These were some of the most important guys in your life and you’d barely seen them in just over two months. They looked tired. 

Suddenly Jisungs eyes flicked up, catching your figure against the bathroom door frame. 

“Y/N,” he said tersely, causing Changbin’s head to swivel to face you. Swallowing his nerves, Jisung made room on the couch so you could settle between your two boys. You eyed them for a moment, not moving right away. The two guys shared a weighted glance before Changbin reached his hand for you.

“Bunny, please. Let us apologize.” Changbin’s voice was strained and you couldn’t miss the matching pained looks on Bin and Ji’s faces. You sighed, crossing your arms tightly over your chest as you brushed past Changbin’s extended hand and plopped down in the vacant spot they made for you. Changbin tried his best to hide the hurt he felt, you had a right to be mad.

“Bunny, I- We-” Changbin began but was quickly cut off.

“I think Felix kinda stole my thunder,” you joked a little awkwardly, not trying to get into the heavy stuff right away. You had spent the entire night feeling the weight of your emotions crushing you and you had just barely woken up, you wanted just a moment longer of levity before you had to face all of those suffocating emotions again. “I love him for it though, I’m not entirely sure I’d be able to face you two and say everything he did. I didn’t know he had so much fire hidden behind that cute face of his.” 

Jisung’s hands clenched in his lap. Normally he’d be the one to speak up on your behalf when you were too beaten down or tired to do so yourself, for years he was the friend who backed you up and stood up for you. It felt horrible to be on the other end. 

“Yeah, Felix is a good friend to have,” Jisung managed to say, unable to fully play along as his posture remained stiff and he kept his eyes trained on his lap. 

“He is, I’m lucky he and I have been getting close…” you say with a tone of melancholic sincerity. You truly did love getting to build this bond with Felix, you just hated what the catalyst was. 

“...Are we going to dance around this all day?” Jisung asked after a beat of silence, his eyes darting up to you only to suddenly be met with your frown pointed right at him. 

“Ji, I’m exhausted. I’ve been sad all night, I’ve been crying for hours, I haven’t even had anything to eat yet. So excuse me for not wanting to jump right into the shitty night I had right away,” you huff, standing abruptly and making your way to the kitchen. Jisung felt Changbins sharp glare stab into him, but he ignored it, standing and following you to the kitchen with Changbin following suit. 

“I know your night was horrible but-”

“No you don't, Ji!” You snapped, whirling on him and fixing him with a pained look of your own. “I think Felix pretty accurately covered it, you guys were up! And apparently at least one of you heard a phone going off, but neither of you bothered to check on me, neither of you were there for me in the end! It was Felix who was up with me all night! It was Felix I cried to! And it was Felix who learned what happened while you two spent all night in your studio again!” Changbin wilted at your words, knowing you were right. But Jisung was stubborn. An unfortunate side effect of such a long standing relationship, sometimes you fight when you really shouldn’t. 

“What the hell are we supposed to do Y/N? We can’t just stop working, we’re swamped! We can’t spend all our time with you anymore!”

“You haven’t been spending any time with me Ji! You, specifically! I saw Changbin yesterday, you I haven’t seen in a month!” 

“That’s ridiculous and you know it, you’ve seen me.”

“When, Ji? WHEN? The last time I saw you was when I came to visit the studio and that was a month ago! You’re never home! You sleep either here or at the studio, I get sporadic texts from you both at best and radio silence for days at worst!” By this point you were shouting so loudly you felt your throat tightening, tears were brimming your eyes but you refused to let them spill over. “I’m not saying you have to spend all your time with me, but at least spend some time with me! You guys are my fucking boyfriend and the only best friend I have left! I love Felix, I love him for being here for me, but he’s not the first person I wanted to tell the actual life altering revelation that Hyunjin is in love with me!” Your voice wavered as you spoke before finally choking out into a violent sob. You hated the tremble in your hands as you pressed them against your face, trying to hide yourself away behind them as you cried and left the two guys stunned. 

“He told you that?” Changbin asked hoarsely, unsure of how to feel. He watched you nod before attempting to reach out to you, his hand resting gently on your shoulder to test the waters. You flinched at the contact but before he could fully pull his hand away you relaxed against his touch, giving him the confidence to pull you into his arms. You let him hold you as all the heavy and complicated emotions from the night before came spilling out of you. 

Jisung chewed at his bottom lip, unsure of what to do. He was glad Changbin worded his question the way he did, Jisung wasn’t sure how you’d react if you learned that he and Changbin already knew. You’d definitely be upset, if not pissed. But… should they tell you? Would it be beneficial? Would it be better if you knew now instead of learning later and possibly feeling betrayed they kept such a secret? He didn’t know and so he stayed quiet, instead busying himself with rummaging through Chan and Felix’s kitchen for a mug and some tea. It was quite frankly the least he could do. 

“Here…” Jisung began as he handed you the warm mug, causing you to lift your head from Changbins shoulder. “I’m sorry.” You lifted your gaze from the mug to Ji’s face before taking the mug. 

“Sorry for what?” Your voice was raspy from the screaming and the crying.

“Everything. You’re right, I haven’t been here for you and I got mad because I didn’t want to admit to it. I’m also sorry because…” Jisung’s eyes glanced up at Changbin, giving him a moment to at least attempt to guess what Jisung was about to confess. “I knew how Hyunjin felt about you.”

“You what?”

“I didn’t know for very long, I swear.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You asked with an edge to your voice that was hard to miss. 

“For starters he didn’t tell me directly, I accidentally overheard him telling someone else. Secondly, that’s not my place. Despite how I feel about him, it’s not my place to air his dirty laundry like that.” You stared at Jisung for a while before looking back down at your mug of tea, taking a hard swallow despite how hot it was.

“Then why are you telling me now?”

“Because I don’t want you to learn this later and feel like I’m keeping secrets from you. I get the feeling you’d be extra sensitive about stuff like that.” You couldn’t help but chuckle at Ji’s words, he was right. Despite understanding his reasoning, you couldn’t help the odd sense of betrayal you felt learning Hyunjin kept this secret from you for years and you knew yourself well enough to know that the same hurt would hit you if Ji had chosen to do the same. It was irrational, it was unfair, but you couldn’t help feeling this way anyways. 

“I guess I should fess up too then…” Changbin said with a rough clearing of his throat. You looked up at him quizzically, finding yourself pulling from his hold without thinking, somewhat nervous as to what your boyfriend had to say.

“That person Han overheard Hyunjin confessing to? That…” Changbin couldn’t look at you as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “that was me.” 

Fuck, the blows just kept on coming, didn’t they? 

You had to walk to the nearest kitchen counter to steady yourself on the edge as you processed what your Binnie had just told you. You didn’t know how to feel about it.

“He… He told you?” You found yourself asking, floundering, just trying to piece together your feelings as your still raw nerves took on more new information. Changbin simply nodded. You swallowed, taking a deep and steady breath. “When? And why did he tell you?”

“It was right before I asked you out, he gave me the final push to go for it. But if I'm honest, I knew he had a thing for you from the moment I met him.” Hyunjins words from the day you hemorrhaged all your hurt and confused feelings rose to the forefront of your mind. 

“I’m getting out of the way.”

This must’ve been what he meant. Changbin had said something similar about Hyunjin the night you two almost had your first kiss,about how Hyunjin was “always in the way”. And then, almost immediately after, Hyunjin took a huge step back and Changbin had asked you out. You felt so stupid. Of course you could tell there was something off between him and Changbin, and it wasn’t hard to figure out that the change in your dynamics with both boys were interconnected - that much was obvious. What you didn’t realize was just how much the boys had wised up to each other and how fast. Changbin had instantly clocked Hyunjins feelings and Hyunjin knew intrinsically that Changbin was trying to move in on you. The entire time the two of them were aware of the bigger picture while you bumbled in the middle, stuck in your own bubble, stuck on your own worries and feelings. 

“If you knew how he felt, then… then why did you ask me out? Wasn’t it too much of a hassle?” It was a stupid question, but a part of you felt like you had to ask it anyway, just to get it out of your system. 

“Because I wanted you.” You couldn’t help the way your heart fluttered at your boyfriend's words and Jisung suddenly felt like maybe he should silently slip out while he had the chance. “Oh no you don’t Han,” Changbin said flatly the moment he noticed his friend moving in his periphery, snagging the slimmer boy by the arm. “You’re not leaving me to deal with her wrath on my own.” 

“You two are getting all sappy,” Ji said defensively, trying to pull himself from Bin’s grasp. “And this is really something you two should discuss in private,” he added in a more serious tone.

“No, please stay. You’re great moral support,” you rasped out, taking a moment to sip at the tea you had forgotten you were even holding. Ji looked over to you, his gaze holding yours before heaving a sigh and leaning against the counter adjacent to you. 

“What do you need moral support for? You plan on dumping your buff boyfriend cause he knew your long time crush liked you back?” As much as Jisung tried to sound like he was joking, he was asking sincerely, unsure of how you would truly react to all of this. Changbins eyes whipped over to Han, he never said anything about you harboring anything real for Hyunjin as well.

“What? No, I would never! I love Binnie!” You suddenly blurted, allowing Changbin to release the breath he had been holding before your words fully sunk in and made his heart jerk and sputter. Jisung took no pause in grinning at you, taunting words already on his tongue.

“Oh, you love him, do you? I didn’t know things had gotten so serious between you two already.” Your face burned red as you looked at Jisung, grinning smugly at you, crossing his arms and legs as he watched you casually. 

“Wait, what? No. I didn’t-”

“You don’t love Bin? Why not Y/N? Isn’t he just so lovable?” Ji asked, cutting you off. 

“I- I mean of course he is. Of course I love him, but I’m not- that is to say we’re not- we haven’t-!” You were once again cut off, but this time by Jisung’s laughter as he slightly doubled over, his arms going from simply resting across his chest to holding his stomach as he tried to contain himself. Beside him Changbin stood silently and awkwardly, a noticeable flush on his too-cute face. At least you weren’t the only one feeling flustered.

“Relax, I’m just teasing.” Jisung smiled at you once he stood up right, nudging Bin with his shoulder, “It’s only been a couple of months, it might be too early for you two to be using the ‘L’ word yet.” Changbin gave Jisung a look that you couldn’t quite decipher and with the way you were feeling, you weren’t quite in the mood to try and figure it out. 

“Yeah…” you said idly, taking another sip of your now lukewarm tea, “it might be.” The three of you settled into silence for a moment before you spoke again. “I don’t know what I should do with all of this new information…” 

“Do you have to do anything?” Ji asked so simply you felt your despair lift for a moment. You hadn’t thought about that. “I mean, he doesn’t expect you to reciprocate his feelings right? Did he ask you to choose him?” You frowned at your friend's words and shook your head, setting the mug down on the counter behind you. 

“I think I would've preferred him making me choose over him ending our friendship.”

“He did what?” Ji’s posture stiffened as the two boys looked at you wide eyed. 

“Yeah, what did you think I meant when I said you were my only best friend left?”

“I dunno! I didn’t really think too hard on that part, I kinda just assumed you were being pissy with him and just were saying things in the heat of the moment!” You didn’t expect Ji to be so flabbergasted and Bin looked equally as startled by your clarification. You couldn’t help but smile sadly. “I never thought he could ever do something so drastic…” 

“Neither did I,” you said in a small voice, allowing yourself to be comforted when Changbin returned to your side and pulled you into him. You wrapped your arms around him tightly. “He promised he’d never abandon me, but in the end he did, just like in highschool.” To your surprise it was Changbin who spoke up. 

“Bunny, I don’t know how this must feel to you but, please don’t be so harsh on him.” You blinked up at Bin, astonished, as he continued, “when he told me out he felt about you, he sounded so sincere. I know I wasn’t there, I don’t know exactly what he said to you , but I don’t think he’s abandoning you. I truly don’t think he has that in him. Give it time, he’ll be back.” 

“Do you even want him to be back? The guy’s in love with your girlfriend,” Ji interjected, his head cocked to the side as he regarded his friends. 

“He’s been in love with her, but he was her friend first, if he was going to disrespect our relationship then he would’ve done it already.” Your mind drifted back to the night Hyunjin almost kissed you in his apartment, how he reared back as if he had been bitten, how his eyes were rimmed with tears and regret, how he refused to even stand too close to you after. “My girlfriend is hurting and if having him back in her life will make it better, then yeah, I want them to make up. You know, even if they do feel the same way about each other” 

“Damn Bin, you’re a better man than me,” Ji huffed, impressed. 

“And me,” you added, gazing into Changbins eyes when they dropped to look into  yours. “I know you must be feeling just as confused as I am Binnie, I’m sorry. I know I never told you how I felt about Hyunjin and Ji just dropped into conversation so casually.” You heard Jisung swear as he facepalmed, at least that confirmed to you that he hadn’t meant to do so on purpose. 

“It… doesn’t feel good to hear, I’m not gonna lie, but…” Changbin took a moment to lick his lips, trying to find the right words. “But just like the other night at the pizza place, you picked me. I thought that night was the first time you truly put me before him, but I was wrong. You’ve picked me so many times before then. How can I not feel wanted after learning that?” 

You couldn’t help but throw yourself at your boyfriend, earning a whiny “gross” followed by an overdramatic gag from Ji when he saw you two kiss right in front of him. You didn’t care, you just had to kiss Binnie, because he really was the best. You had never forgotten this, in fact it was the main reason why you missed him so much. He was quickly becoming a solid rock in your life, always aware, always open minded, he communicated himself clearly and held himself with so much confidence that it made you feel more confident just by being around him. Truly the only issue was the lack of time together. When the two of you finally stopped making out, Ji made his way across the kitchen to hug you from behind, sandwiching you between your two boys. 

“If you want Hyunjin back in your life then we’ll be here to support you” Jisung began softly, nuzzling into your shoulder, “and until then, well, we’ll still be here. Both of us. I’m sorry again for ghosting you Y/N. I can’t guarantee a lot of time for either of us, but I promise to do my best to make more time for you.”

“Same for me Bunny, I didn’t ask you to be mine just to leave you waiting for me all the time.” 

You smiled as you pressed a kiss to the side of Changbins neck before unwrapping an arm from your boyfriend's middle to reach behind you and hold Ji as best as possible. You needed to be holding them both as close to you as you possibly could. Unbidden Hyunjins now broken promise came to your mind again, the night he made it, how he held you as you cried. This would be different, you knew it would. Jisung and Changbin were different. They wouldn’t abandon you too.

---------------------------------------

Ooooooh boy, guess who's finally back with an update. And, like, an actual update, not just tacking on extra half chapters because I'm trying to fix whatever damage was done when I lost my fic 😅🥲

Anyway, we had a couple of chapters strictly following Hyunjins POV, and after the fall put from the last chapter, I knew it was a good a time as any for him to bow out. If I'm honest, I really didn't know where exactly I wanted this chapter to go, I just knew I wanted a chapter with Jisung and Changbin. Binnie really is just the best boyfriend, isn't he? And Ji has a couple of loose lips 😂

Taglist: @groovygroovyhyunjin @hhwangsmoon @luvyblossom @doggezz @kayleefriedchicken @hyunjinhoexxx @zadkielr @bincxtesworld @jisunglyricist @kpop-kink @amarecerasus @its-kitten-now @antisocial-socialbutterfly @s-3-l-3-na @143il0v3you @tajannah-price1

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c10. Kidnapped

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: Come a little closer, Cage the elephant.

abstract: hey this is Jude. you doing alright? you'd never guess who I saw! anyways, I'm almost content in this chapter and then I'm angry again. I've been angry my whole life guys I swear. also, had a special someone with me that night, can you guess who my passenger princess was?

She chuckled when he left the room. Skeleton mask, skeleton gloves, hell he probably had skeleton fucking underwear on. It seemed so out of character for him to be this nice to come all the way to her office and talk to her. He did seem a tiny bit uncomfortable, maybe he wasn't the best at social interactions. He had woke up happy and decided to be a decent human being for once. She didn't trust that his intentions were pure. Maybe he wanted her to speak about it cause he already heard from his friends and wanted the full version. You really want to know Simon, I'll send you the security cameras footage via email, that'll hunt you for a lifetime.

She had a busy day and had to stop thinking about their interaction for a few hours. She was in such a good mood she even had lunch, alone in her office, but still. Her thoughts kept wondering to the Lieutenant, his blue jacket and his thick arms, she had to compose herself when Sergeant Raul, her last patient of the day, had a panic attack in front of her. She got home late, exhausted. She went on a night walk with Jinx, cooked dinner and sat down at her table, her violent grinder and little jar with weed in front of her. She had some reports to finish, she had another two Nutcracker songs to choreograph. Her eyes lingered on 'The Pilgrimage' which she kept as a souvenir from her Sherlock CIA experience with the Arash case. She fished out a lighter from her bag and opened the book in front of her. She liked reading it, she enjoyed it. She had never been much of a religious person, though she was raised catholic. She respected the idea of faith, how it guided people, how it made them feel less alone. She had a thought. A tiny one. A sneaky suspicion. The little urge to lurk. It was a little lightbulb moment, a cinematic sequence in which the music stopped and then violins started playing as she began to think. Her rollie in one hand, the book in the other, she looked at her dog, smell of weed all around her. The poor thing was asleep on the couch, blissfully unaware. When she reached for her laptop to do some research, she knew she was gonna find something.

Two days later she was still debating on telling Price. She really didn't want to bother Laswell, poor woman didn't need more work. They were going to leave in 4 days. She decided she'd tell the first person she would see. It would be the universe to decide. Her office was at the opposite area from Price's so she had slim chances of telling anyone. It wasn't her mission, it wasn't her job, it wasn't her place. She was overstepping.

'Fuck', she said to herself, when she saw the Lieutenant in the parking lot. She froze, foot on the brakes. That's it, it's the universe's choice, you have to tell him. He's gonna kill you. He was smoking. His mask was slightly raised on his nose, exposing his mouth. Not that she could see anything, he was way too far and she was short sighted. Did he ever leave that mask home? He had a vest on, a light blue sherpa jacket that looked extremely comfortable. She looked at his cigarette, he had less than half of it left. Four drags maximum. Just tell him for fuck's sake, it's for the greater good and it’s a fucking good theory. He was almost finished. She slowly came to a stop in front of him and rolled down her window.

The world was silent around them. The sun was setting, the air was crisp. He had noticed the car, he remember it was the same model as hers. He didn't think she would stop. What she said next made his heart skip a beat. 'Hop in? I need to talk to you'. Her eyes were even a prettier colour in this light. They looked translucent. Her skin was shining and golden under the sunlight. 'Can it wait?' He tried to avoid getting in the car with her. Deeply unprofessional. Where did she want to take him anyway, couldn't they talk in his office? What was it she wanted to tell him? 'I'll take you back here when we're done, just a little ride’. She wasn't giving up. Am I being fucking kidnapped by you, Jude? Most guys wouldn't really complain to be honest, but still… He reluctantly sat in the passenger seat, having to adjust his seat to accommodate for his size. The lack of control he had in the situation made him uncomfortable, his fingers tingling with excitement and a slight bit of panic. But this girl… this girl, her presence was just weirdly irresistible. He wanted to know what she wanted to say, every little detail, every hint to who she truly was. He craved that. She slowly took off. She seemed a good driver, she kept her speed stable. 'What is it?' he asked impatient to know why he was being kidnapped. 'So, I kept thinking about what you said about Khorram, that he's hidden somewhere.' She glanced at him while she talked, maintaining her eyes on the road ahead. 'I thought about The Pilgrimage, the book. It's the three stages that I thought about, you know, the Jordan River was the first. Then the middle of the desert, then the Persian Gulf.'

He had to know she was coming up with another theory of hers. He started to get tense. He was getting tired to ear about this, she really had to let this go, it wasn't her place to be talking about it, all these speculations... This was war, people were getting killed everyday by this man and she was here playing detectives. 'I don't think you should keep working on this Jude. It's not your job', he said in the most assertive tone he could manage. She licked her lips, they were entering the city. She sighed, 'I know, I'm just suggesting', she insisted, but he cut her off. 'It's not your place.' He stated. He wasn't afraid to be rough with her or sound disrespectful. She was driving through a bit of traffic, she change gears swiftly and still managed to wave her hand in the air while she talked. 'I know! Since you guys didn't have a clue what you were doing the last time…' he interrupted her again, 'Doesn't mean you're right this time'. She scoffed and slightly raised her tone, visibly annoyed. 'You didn't even fucking let me finish, you don't know what I was about to say!' He caught a glimpse of her eyes, they looked darker. She had the same expression she always had. She looked like she was going to cast a spell on him and turn him into a chair. She must have always won every single argument in her life. Not with him, not with that attitude. 'I don't want to hear it, I can't make my soldiers do things and go places because you read a fucking book, Jude.' If she thought she could win this, she was seriously delusional. 'I read the fucking book that made you not die last week, Simon!' She raised her voice again, turning to face him. Hearing his name escape her lips made him feel weird. It was unusual to hear his name. Ghost, L.t, he had a few nicknames. Only Price called him Simon. He thought about whether she even knew he was Ghost to the others. Simon. It sounded different. It sounded warmer, it sounded pretty. She sang his name. It sounded like it belonged in the phrase Do you want to try that new restaurant with me, Simon, or There's a song I want you to listen, Simon, or Want to take a walk with me, Simon? It sounded like it belonged to a nice, handsome and normal guy, which he wasn't.

'Merda. Oh, merda.' He didn't realise she wasn't looking at him anymore. She had stopped the car, was she going to abandon him on the side of the road? They had stopped in front of a closed building, a few cars parked in the front. The woman next to him had a confused look on her face, which quickly shifted to panic. There was a girl in front of one of the cars. She was alone and she had a bag on her shoulder. Jude pulled the handbrake and got out of the car, walking towards the girl. She must have been 14. He got out of the car, but didn't approach them. He looked at Jude take the girl's hands in her own and talk to her. He couldn't really hear what they were saying, but the little girl was sniffling. She had been crying. 'Oh god', whispered Jude as she hugged the girl, scrunching down. He watcher her hand caress the girl's hair. Why was everything so complicated and bloody mysterious when it came to this girl? He looked at Jude taking the little girl's hand and taking her to the car. He probably looked scary with his skull printed balaclava on. 'Get in Gemma, I'll drive you home okay?' She said, seating down. 'Gemma this is my friend, Simon. Simon this is one of my students, Gemma.'

Jude was perfectly calm now, the little girl sitting in the back of the car. Her eyes were dark, she was driving much slower now, more carefully. She was mad. For what? What do you mean students? He had so many questions he couldn't process to say hi to the girl. Jude kept glancing in the review mirror to make sure Gemma was okay in the back. 'You like the choreography so far?' she asked. She danced? 'Yes, really much' Gemma answered 'I like when we do the circle. With the tour jetés' she said. Jude smiled 'Yeah I like that part too'. She was driving in a residential area more far away from the city centre, but they were getting closer to the road that would take them into the desert. 'Was it this one or the next Gemma?' she was slowing down. 'The next one' said the girl quietly. 'I'll talk to your mom okay?' She said while getting out of the car. She quickly turned towards him, her look apologetic 'I'm sorry, I'll explain. Just a second.' She felt bad for making him wait, it was very unprofessional of her, but it was an emergency and he just happened to be there. At least they stopped fighting. She explained to Gemma's mother that she was driving past the school when she saw her standing outside. The school was open when they arrived, it had closed 5 minutes after she had left. The girls had told Gemma about an extra lesson just for the 5 top students of the class and Gemma had asked her mom to take her. She said she was furious with the others and would talk to them and possibly even prevent some to dance at the final performance. She apologised to Gemma for having to wait outside because of that stupid joke and hugged her one more time, before making her way to the car. Furious was an understatement. How could they be so fucking mean? So so so stupid... She sighed while getting back into the car.

'I'm sorry, I'll take you back. Sorry. Sorry.' She quickly reversed and took off in the direction of the desert. 'Everything okay?' He decided to speak since she was gripping the steering wheel with her knuckles turning white. She waited a second before replying. 'I teach ballet. The other girls told her we had lesson when we didn't, she was the only one who showed up. The school is closed, it's dark out she could have been kidnapped', she said all in one breath. She was shaking her head, how fucking horrifying and dangerous was it to be left alone in the middle of nowhere as a 14 year old girl. Thank God she saw her, poor Gemma. She wasn't blaming her mom, the school was probably still open when they arrived and closed soon after. They were approaching the base in silence, she stopped near the entrance to let him go inside. She kept muttering words in Italian, she was biting her nails nervously. 'Che stronze. Come si fa…assurdo. Troppe poche botte da piccole.' She turned towards him before he had a chance to open the door. 'I'm very sorry you had to witness that, I truly am.' She blinked a few times trying to hide her embarrassment. She messed up all her chances to get him to listen to what she had found now. 'It's fine' he said. His voice was soft. He probably understood that she really couldn't leave the girl there alone, but still. His hand was on the door handle but he wouldn't open the door yet. 'Okay… I'm sorry either way I shouldn't have… done all this.' She was panicking a little at this point. 'Jude it's fine, seriously.' He finally opened the door and got out of the car 'Go home.' He stated before turning away and entering the base.

She went home. She facetimed Salvo and told him about the situation to rant a little bit. She didn't mentioned who she was with, cause it embarrassed her. Cause picking him up was the stupidest idea of her life. She was so fucking mad at the girls she thought about a million fucking different ways to find out who was responsible and make them pay. God, I sound like my mother. Which is very bad, considering what she does for a living…

notes: oh god, what does her mother do then? translation: 'those bitches. how is this possible… incredible. didn't get hit hard enough as kids.' don't hit your kids, violence is bad. also is bullying. I am getting really good results at uni guys!! I'm gonna post the next preview as well cause I'm gonna be studying a lot again, and working and you know. figuring out how to be happy with my life I guess.

love, mare.

taglist:

@ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[hypersomniagame]

HYPERSOMNIA JUNE DEV LOG : “FASHIONABLY LATE”

Hi! I already wrote this entire dev log but I closed the tab by accident, so it's now 10:55pm and I'm going to try and speedrun writing something that took me an hour to write.

For all of you who follow HYPERSOMNIA, you should already know what the gist is here I've been saying this for 6 months.

if you don't know what this is or are confused on what HYPERSOMNIA is read the other dev logs i've said this like every time lol

So, just as a heads up this log isn't going to be super long with new content because I have been insanely busy these last few months! I just graduated High School and the last few months have been me cramming to make sure I pass and could graduate and now I am!!! Yay!!!

I won 2 awards at my grad (One of them being excellence in arts :D) and the other I was given a check for 200$ so I snagged one of these!

Super happy I finally got a display tablet for drawing, I've wanted one of these since I was like 14 and it feels awesome to have one now. I got this thing super cheap too, this thing usually goes for like 300-350 Canadian and I got it for 130! Super super happy about this.

That's all from me personally, but I would like to say just as 1 last thing before the updates, Happy Pride Month to all who identify as LGBTQ+, I myself am queer and just want to remind all of you that you are loved and accepted. Hopefully I can get this out before midnight so it's still pride month LOL

OK! NOW FOR UPDATES! I don't have too much to share today but I do have somethings I want to show off.

First things first, I've been respriting some characters! Ross and Jack are the biggest edits I've made so far so I'd like to show them off.

(Left is old, and right is new!)

Ross' walking sprites were updated! I was kind of dissatisfied with how Ross looks like he's struttin' everywhere so I redid it to give him a more casual walk. I'm very happy with this change and I plan for it to be the base walking animation going forward. I also updated his side profiles slightly to look closer to the key art I illustrated.

Jack also had his idles redone! He I think was the biggest thing I needed to resprite, his old sprite is kind of cluttered and poorly detailed so for his new one I simplified a lot of the shading and reshaped his hair and mask. I think it came out really well.

Also, just earlier I was working on music for the game.

I'm really happy with how this came out, I just got high and made Half-Life music (Which is what I was aiming for LOL)

Hopefully I can get to a point where I can finish off the soundtrack for the demo and post it all. Some friends of mine were a bit sad I delisted the tracks I had up initially so I hope to get those up again soon.

I've also been storyboarding out some early game cutscenes, I can't show a lot because it's all a bit spoiler-y but I will put this in the log.

And one last thing too, THE MOTHER DIRECT!

on July 27 at 6PM ET, MOTHER FOREVER will be hosting the MOTHER Direct, which HYPERSOMNIA is a part of!

There'll be a ton of indie games, fan projects, and other things relating to or inspired by the MOTHER series! Please give it a watch if you can. If you can't make it, the event will remain on MOTHER FOREVER's YouTube channel, and I'll be uploading HYPERSOMNIA's trailer on YouTube, Twitter, Steam, and here. If you do catch the stream or end up watching it after, leave a comment! Tell 'em Ferris sent ya. Do it, or I'll cry. I'm expecting at least 1 "Ferris sent me!" or I'll cry. I swear, I will do it!

If this is your first log you're reading, or even your first time seeing ANYTHING relating to HYPERSOMNIA, I got a whole bunch of links for you to check out if you wanna know more about me and my stupid little game.

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[starshaped-dreamer]

café boy (s.mt)

pairing - seok matthew x fem!reader

genre - coffee shop AU, college AU, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers

warnings - reader is a lil stressed, violence (nothing worse than a punch), very minor injuries, protective matthew, suggestive but not graphic at all

w/c - 2743

a/n - happy birthday matthew! a matthew birthday special I love him so much he's climbing my bias list so fast

You'd been coming to this café for so long, but it was becoming harder and harder to convince yourself it was only for the coffee. But how could you ignore the sweet smiles of the barista, who happened to be working every time you went? His soft voice politely taking your order with a grin was a stark contrast to the toned muscles suddenly on display as he makes your cappuccino, and you found yourself subconsciously heading in that direction whenever you finished classes for the day.

The café was noticeably more quiet than usual as you entered that afternoon, and the cute barista was the only one working. You checked your phone to realise it was almost 8pm, and you had been studying for longer than you intended.

The bell at the door sounded as you entered, catching the boys' attention. He was wiping down the counter, but put the cloth away as soon as he noticed your presence. "Hi there," a bright smile donned his face as he greeted you. "You come here often, don't you?"

You felt your cheeks heat in embarrassment as you realise he recongises you. "Uh, yeah, you make good coffee." He grins. "Speaking of which, I was going to order one, but I just noticed the time. Caffeine right now would be a crime to my sleep schedule."

He laughs, and you could swear the sound was the sweetest thing you've ever heard. "Lucky for you, I make a pretty good hot chocolate."

You mirror his smile, handing over your card. "Sounds perfect."

You take a seat at your usual table by the window, scrolling on your phone as you wait for the boy to make your drink. He brings it over after a short while, and you smile at the way he's decorated it with whipped cream and mini marshmallows. "Thank you, this is exactly what I needed today."

He grins. "I'm Matthew, by the way. Mind if I sit?" He gestures to the seat across from you.

You smile. "Y/N, and not at all."

He slides into the booth. "So, you're a student here? What on earth are you majoring in to warrant you staying here this late?"

"I'm a business major," you sigh. "My partner completely ditched me on this group assignment and now I'm having to put in twice as much work so I can get a good grade."

"Wow, group assignments really suck. You shouldn't give them any credit for this if you've done it all yourself."

"It's a bit easier said than done. He's a teacher favourite, one that can make or break your reputation with a single sentence. But I'll figure it out eventually. What about you? Are you a student too?"

Matthew's hand rests against his face, listening intently to every word you say. "Yep! It would be pretty silly of me to get an on-campus job if I wasn't. I'm a dance major."

You smile, and the conversation continues naturally, you both talking about anything and everything, even after you've reached the final dregs of your hot chocolate.

~

A couple of days later, you were walking to lunch before you heard someone call your name. You turn around to find Matthew, running towards you, waving his hand in the air. He was wearing jeans and your college's signature hoodie, rather than his striped apron you were so used to seeing him in at the café. The glasses that sat atop his face made your heart race.

"Y/N! Are you heading to lunch?"

You nod. "How about you?"

"Sure am! We should go together." He starts walking ahead of you, and you have to run to catch up to him.

"Where are we going?"

He turns around to face you, walking backwards with a mischievous grin. "It's a surprise. I've been wanting to go here for ages."

You laugh at his excitement; his wonderment at everything was nothing if not refreshing and cute.

You wander just off campus, until you reach a cute storefront of a café. Matthew holds the door open for you, and you gasp as soon as you set foot inside. "A cat café?"

He grins. "None of my other friends wanted to go, so as soon as I saw you on campus I knew you would agree to come."

You smirk. "I don't know if I agreed, it was almost like you dragged me with."

He feigned hurt. "You gave off cat café vibes. I thought it would be more fun as a surprise."

"It was a very nice surprise. Thank you Matthew," you said, and you meant it. You hadn't had a lot of chances to socialise on campus, and you really appreciated his willingness to spend time with you.

~

A couple weeks had passed, and you found yourself getting closer and closer to Matthew. Now you had both met properly, you seemed to find each other everywhere, whether it be studying in the library or eating lunch in the cafeteria. Whenever you both had free time, you'd travel off-campus, finding new and exciting restaurants to try.

Your favourite part though, was the Tuesday night hot chocolates, whenever you'd stay late in the library studying and Matthew was working late. Every week he'd surprise you with a new hot chocolate topping, before sitting down across from you as you both chatted comfortably. It felt good having a friend you could get along with so well.

There was only one problem, however, and that was your stupid group project. You found the workload becoming overwhelming, your late nights in the library becoming even later, and you were starting to lose time for anything else in your life.

There was one particular Tuesday night, a week before your final presentation was due, when you felt like you were at your breaking point. You'd been stuck at your laptop in the library for hours, doing so much but feeling like you were getting nothing done. You were frustrated, at your partner, at how exhausted you were, at everything. The frustration brought tears to your eyes, and you buried your head in your arms, grateful for the lack of people in the building at the late hour.

Suddenly, you felt a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "Y/N? Y/N, what's wrong?"

Your head snaps up at the familiar voice, and you meet Matthew's concerned gaze as he crouches beside your chair. "Are you okay?"

You hurriedly turn your head away, embarrassed as you try to wipe away your tears frantically. He grabs your wrist gently to stop you, bringing it back down to the table but not letting go. He strokes the back of your hand softly, giving you a comforting smile. In his other hand, you spot a takeaway coffee cup, which he places on the table next to you. "I brought you your hot chocolate to go, I figured you got held up studying after you didn't show up for a while."

Your eyes widen, almost comically, as you check the time on your laptop. "Shit! Matthew I'm so sorry. It's been-" You don't even notice the stray tears that fall down your face until a hand against your cheek interrupts you. His thumb gently wipes away any trace of tears, before pulling away so he could sit down in the chair next to you.

"You don't have to apologise. Just tell me what's up, hey? Maybe I can help."

Your heart stutters, both at the unexpected physical contact and his kind words. You go to reject his offer, but seeing him so willing to help, and acknowledging just how stressed you were, you swallow, realising that maybe a little help might be exactly what you need. "It's this stupid group project. It's a lot more work to take on than I realised, and my partner still hasn't done anything. I've texted him so many times, I think he's blocked me."

Matthew frowns, and it's the first time you think you've seen him angry. "What an asshole. What do you have left to complete? I've made my fair share of presentations in my time."

"I'm having trouble researching and doing the PowerPoint at the same time while trying to cover all of these topics."

He thinks for a moment, before pulling his own laptop out of his backpack. "How about if you tell me what to look up, I can find some good sources for you and you can put the information into the presentation?"

You nod with a smile. "You're an actual lifesaver, Matthew. I'm so sorry I kept you waiting at the café."

"Hey, I told you that you didn't have to apologise. I'm more than happy to help, especially when you've just been left in the deep end like this. Now drink up, before your hot chocolate goes cold. I put extra care into making this one." He pushes the takeaway cup towards you, before pushing his glasses further up his face.

~ With Matthew's help, the time it took to finish the presentation was more than halved, and you expressed your gratitude as much as possible by paying for lunch that entire week, despite his protests. But D-Day was finally here, and you had to present it to your entire business class. Matthew had waited for you in front of the building your class was in, pressing a cappuccino into your hands, claiming he'd put his 'good luck charm' on it. You accepted it with a grateful grin, feeling extra prepared for your presentation.

But you were nervous, too. You had something extra up your sleeve for this one. You were going to expose your partner for the freeloader he was, giving zero credit to him and notifying your professor he had done nothing to help. Reputation on the line or not, Matthew had helped an incredible amount, and you would be damned if you were going to let that credit go to your partner.

So, as you finished your PowerPoint, you made sure to leave no trace of your partner's name on the final slide, denying he had helped in any way when your professor questioned you about it. You ignored the way your partner's jaw clenched in anger, proud you finally stood up for yourself.

But just when you thought you were in the clear, your heart dropped as you heard your name, muttered angrily as you left your class.

"What the fuck was that, Y/N?" It was your partner, storming towards you angrily.

"I worked tirelessly trying to do twice as much work since you couldn't bother to do anything."

He scoffed. "I have tons of other classes to stay on top of, I though for one group assessment you'd be fine on your own."

You laughed humourlessly. "Wow. I have tons of other classes too, but was more than willing to put in as much effort as I needed to to make this a good presentation. I even texted-"

Before you could even comprehend what was happening, you fell to the ground harshly, scraping your knee as you felt your cheek sting.

He had punched you.

He was going for another swing, too, before another hand came and intercepted it. Matthew was standing in front of you, knuckles white as his hands were clenched tightly into fists. He shoved your partner forward, nothing but anger radiating off him.

"What the fuck, dude?"

"You punched Y/N," his voice was the deepest and most serious you'd ever heard it. "Who the fuck does that? Now I suggest you make your way, and never bother her again, before your fate turns out worse."

He scoffs. "Whatever man. You guys are nuts, overreacting this much. If I'd known she was such a bitch I wouldn't of been partners with her in the first place. I just heard she got good grades." With that he ran away, and you had to reach out for Matthew's wrist to stop him from running after.

At your touch, Matthew crouches to face you, his expression instantly transforming from angry to worried. "Are you okay? I can't believe he'd do something like that."

You nod, smiling. "I'm perfectly fine, thanks to you. Nothing but a few scratches. Looks like I'm buying you lunch for a week again."

Matthew ignores your joke the moment he sees your knee, scratched and bleeding from the fall. "Ouch, Y/N, that looks painful. Are you sure your okay?"

You were touched at his concern as you nodded, upset the situation had forced him to be this serious. "I can hardly feel it."

His face relaxes slightly, but traces of worry remain. "Still, it would be pretty nasty if that was to get infected. We should clean it." He holds his arms out to help you stand. "Come on, I live on campus, not far from here."

~

You couldn't believe it. You found yourself in the apartment of your campus crush from a month ago, someone who you now considered your best friend, if you ignored those lingering feelings.

They were becoming harder to ignore, however, as you watch the way his tongue sticks out slightly as he focuses on gently cleaning your injury, before applying a band-aid. His focus and care made your heart melt.

"There we go. All done," he looks up to meet your eyes. "Are you sure you're okay? I can't believe that bastard would just punch you like that. All over some lost assignment grade he deserved. What kind of asshole-"

You place your hand on his to stop his rambling. "Matthew. I'm fine, I promise. Thank you for protecting me."

He smiles sadly. "I'm just sorry I couldn't be there sooner," he reaches up to cup your cheek, gently stroking the bruised area where you were punched with his thumb. "Your cheek is bruised and everything. Why would he punc-"

You couldn't help it anymore. You leaned forward, connecting your lips with his briefly to get him to stop talking. You pulled away, your cheeks automatically heating as you avoid eye contact. "I-I'm sorr-"

He leaned forward again, reaching up to cup your face with both hands as he kisses you, this time for longer, putting all the unsaid feelings and emotions into the kiss, only pulling away once you'd both run out of breath. You giggle, from shock and joy. He joins in, laughing too, as he presses his forehead against yours. "I really fucking like you Y/N."

You lean forward, pecking him once more. "I really like you too, café boy. I never visited just for the coffee, you know."

He grinned, before suddenly your lips were connected once more, this time with more passion as he went to lift you so you were seated on the kitchen counter, standing in between your legs. The kiss became more and more heated, as you thread your fingers through his hair, his hands on your waist as you both tried to keep as little space as possible between you.

After a while he lifted you again, and you wrapped your legs around him. He carried you, never once breaking the kiss, to his room before shutting the door.

~

You woke to the first rays of sunlight peeking through the blinds, suddenly aware of the warmth that surrounded you. You lay on Matthew's bare chest, his arms wound securely around you as the soft rise and fall of his chest almost lull you back to sleep. He stirs, his arms wrapping tighter around you before you feel a soft kiss pressed against your temple. "Good morning," he mumbled.

You smiled. "Morning."

He shifted so he was facing you, an arm still wrapped around your waist. "How are you feeling? You don't have a concussion, right?"

You grin mischievously. "Hmm, I'm not sure. What exactly happened yesterday?"

He gasped jokingly. "Maybe this will jog your memory." He presses a gentle kiss to your lips, pulling you ever so close.

You both smile as he pulls away. "Oh of course, I remember now."

He chuckles as you resume your position laying on his chest. "I've wanted this for so long, Y/N."

You lean up to kiss his cheek, which turn pink at your gesture. "So have I. Thank you for everything Matthew."

And every word of it was true. Ever since you met him, no person had made you feel so comfortable. And you hoped that would stay the same for a long time.

[firegirl888101]

Could we get short interlude like chapters? For example, some moments where the harbingers start their obsession slowly bit by bit for Y/n. It keeps interest whilst you create a new chapter, while not causing boredom.

I've thought about this for awhile!

Recently I've been very busy with studying for final exams (my first big one that actually counts is in late April and I am SOOO nervous!!) so I haven't had breathing room to even think about Insatiable Madness...

BUT

I have been thinking of interlude chapters like you've mentioned to keep my interest and possibly leak some plans for the future of the story.

Here's what I propose:

At random points in time after some Insatiable Madness views I'll post an 'update' on how the harbingers are feeling towards Y/N and expose some of their direct thoughts about not only them, but that particular harbinger's feelings about the predicament they're in.

I focus on asks (some include small scenario's in the AU) since I really need to start finishing those aha...

Do a mix of both, focus a special scenario someone asks as well as update with the percentage of the current time of the story?

Just a quick warning, if an ask already contains a conversation or scenario which will happen in the main story it will either be ignored or explained in a seperate post.

Let me know what you think. Considering the fact that I do agree with the anonymous asker. I wish I could work on it but I don't have time right now I'm sorry everyone 😭😭

I swear to you all, the second exams are finished I will work like a dog in he-

yeah that's all from me for now.

[theromaboo]

Hi! What are your thoughts on the show domina?

Hello!

I apologize for being a little late to write this but I've recently been dubbing Peppa Pig in Latin so I've been a little busy.

How engaging it is: 9/10

Personally, my attention span is like 0. I really struggle to finish shows or books, so it's honestly extremely impressive that I managed to finish this show. I did get kind of bored at the last episode, but it's a miracle I only got bored at the last episode.

Character's appearances: 7/10

I absolutely love Domina's choice of actors. Everyone looks exactly like they look in my head. Apart from one person. Augustus! He doesn't look that bad in the later episodes; the only major thing I don't like is hair color. But in the first two episodes, I could not get over his hair. what is that haircut im gonna cry

I'm sorry, that is not Octavian.

I just don't know what happened. Like, they could've gotten any random blond twink off the streets to be Octavian and I would be happy. But they really had to make Octavian look like that, huh.

But I do have two things I like about the young Octavian. Number one, his actor is actually the right age for once. The actor is in his twenties, so he's actually around Octavian's age at the time. Which is an actual miracle. Movies always use much older actors for people like Octavian and Britannicus. Number two, he's much smaller than Agrippa! Eeeeeee! I give that detail the 100% historically accurate stamp!

Which leads me to Agrippa. HJKFDKJHFSKS I love the actors they got for Agrippa. Both young Agrippa and old Agrippa, they look perfect! Words can not describe how much I love Agrippa's physical appearance in Domina.

Meanwhile, for older Augustus, I can look at him and go "Huh, I understand that this is Augustus" but I don't like his appearance.

I like how everyone else looks. Tiberius is a little too hot to be Tiberius, ngl.

Dialogue: 8/10

A lot of people complain that all the characters use the f word all the time which is anachronistic because the word "fuck" was invented after ancient Rome or some other dumb reason like that. But the fact they are speaking in English is anachronistic! I'm sure if the ancient romans had that word they would've used it all the time. Anyway, my only problem with the entire thing is that they literally don't use any other swear word. Come on, if the ancient Romans had English, I'm sure they would be more diverse in their choice of swears.

Overall, not counting their overuse of fucks, I quite like the dialogue. I'm still thinking of this part:

[Context: Augustus is really sick and was "speaking" with the dead]

Augustus: I just saw my mother.

Livia: Your mother? How is she?

Augustus: Oh, you know. Dead.

Augustus and Agrippa: 4/10

They hug a few times, I guess. And they're cute together sometimes. And occasionally they just have a moment that reminds me that they're besties. But it's not enough for me. I know I'm sounding picky or critical but you'd understand if you watch it. I'd actually like to show you some statistics.

(by the way, i was an ABOSLUTELY AWFUL data collector. there is no guarantee that this is going to be 100% correct, but it's close enough)

In the Domina fandom of AO3, there are around 3 fics where Agrippa is shipped with Octavian and around 8 fics where he is shipped with someone else.

Meanwhile, in every fic with Agrippa, excluding ones in the Domina fandom, there are around 22 fics where Agrippa is shipped with Octavian and around 5 where he is shipped with someone else.

Something is clearly wrong here.

(I'll probably make another post about these statistics and in that post I will count better so I'll know for sure what the numbers are. But for now, these are the numbers I counted but you shouldn't put too much faith in them)

Historical Accuracy: ???? I forgot but I think it wasn't bad.

Well, of course, Domina is very Livia-centric, so I shouldn't expect many good Augustus and Agrippa moments. But that's pretty much what I signed up for. I would like some more Augustus and Agrippa. I'm not even close to finishing Masters of Rome, but I quite like how they were written in it (apart from the MILLION times Colleen just had to remind the audience that augustus and agrippa were Totally Not Gay. listen, i heard you the first time) So maybe the writers of Domina should've taken inspiration from there.

But I'm not really mad though. This is just a little personal thing that I would've liked to see. But Domina can do whatever it likes. And there *are* cute Augustus and Agrippa scenes in Domina. Just not many. It's fine.

I didn't watch for the historical accuracy, so I honestly forgot if there were any big issues or not. But, it's a drama, not a documentary, so I'm a lot more lax. I'm totally fine with them adding new characters and changing up events as long as they don't make a historical mistake that makes me cry (if the characters of domina went to the colosseum, i would honestly cry) It's a drama. As long as it isn't pretending to be factual, I'm fine with them taking artistic license. But if you were watching for the SHEER accuracy of EVERY event, you might not like it.

Family friendliness: 2/10.

It's not a bad thing that it got such a low number, but I'm just saying that you shouldn't watch Domina with your mom or your kids or something. I'm pretty sure only actual porn has more sex than Domina does. If you watched HBO Rome, you'd understand. And like, there's no warning. One scene is totally normal and the next scene is gay sex.

I think I should do math about this. How many sex scenes are in each episode of Domina? (and hbo rome if i got the time) And what's the average amount of sex scenes per episode? I'm guessing 7. Reblog with which number you're guessing! (guys if you actually reblog with which number you're guessing I will actually be forced to calculate it so make sure you do)

General prettiness: 10/10

The entire show is so beautiful. I could take any screenshot and make it my phone background or something.

Overall: 8/10

I managed to finish it, and I quite enjoyed it. I love how Agrippa looks. I love how beautiful every scene looks. Storytelling-wise, I'd say it was good. My main problem is Octavian's appearance. But it isn't really a big groundbreaking problem (okay actually young octavian is an earthshattering sin. the ghost of julius caesar himself will haunt you forever if you can look at him and go "this is fine") And I'd also like more Augustus and Agrippa scenes. But overall, I'd recommend this show.

[olliebee66]

I swear I'll work on my longer fics soon, but I keep getting smaller ideas like...

Single Dad!Graves who's taking his son to school, listening to the 5 year old go on about how he gets to play with Lego's and finish the drawing he's been doing for him to take to work and put on his desk to show everyone.

Single Dad!Graves who walks his son into the school and chuckles as his son runs off and hugs another boy, the boys parent smiling and ruffling his hair as well as their own kids hair before his son runs back over to him telling him that he'll see him later and he loves him very much before the two run off.

Single Dad!Graves who walks into the school later that afternoon, seeing his son comforting his friend who's in tears. He walks over and squats down, taking his shades off to ask what's wrong.

"His mama is late and his glasses got broken." his son says while hugging the other boy.

"Well, why don't we just stick around till she gets here." Single Dad!Graves suggests with a kind smile while he gets up and takes both the kids outside to sit on the bench there while they wait.

Single Dad!Graves who's on his phone when he hears frantic steps about a half hour later while the two kids are sat on the ground talking.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry I'm late." a voice comes. He looks up and sees the person from before. "I hope I didn't keep you from getting out of here too long, work was awfully busy for some reason."

"Not a problem, ma'am." Single Dad!Graves chuckles, standing and smiling.

"Ah actually, it's not ma'am but anyways, thank you again."

Single Dad!Graves who's speechless, just nodding and watching them pick up their son and his backpack, the two waving goodbye before heading off to the parking lot.

"Why does he say mama if..." Single Dad!Graves murmurs aloud as he grabs his sons bag and walks with him to the car.

"It's cuz.. erm... I dunno, you should ask though!" his son says excitedly.

The next day, Single Dad!Graves drops off his son and sees his son's friend being dropped off, deciding to take the opportunity to talk to his "mama" about the other day.

"Hey so I was just wonderin', and please feel free to slap me if this is too personal, but your son calls you mama." he says, hands tucked in his pockets.

The giggle catches him by surprise. "Well, I was mama before but never stopped him. I'm sorry if that's confusing." he says, fishing a pen from his pocket and a piece of paper from his backpack, writing something down before handing it to Single Dad!Graves. "I've gotta get going but I'll see you at pick up."

Single Dad!Graves who's less confused as he takes the paper, watching him head to his car before looking at it and smiling as he sees the name and number with 3 x's, immediately pulling his phone out and adding the contact to his phone before shooting a text before leaving.

[hechiima]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thought this would be fun with the end of the year!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

31.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

398,723. I'm really proud of this number tbh; never thought I'd write this much. Was hoping to hit 400k by the end of 2023 but I don't think that's gonna happen. Here's to hoping I hit half a million by this time next year!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

AA/DGS

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

You Ever Been In Love?

Things Are As They Are

On the Morality of Birds

Awkward Business

The View from the Gallery

No DGS fics. I know its a smaller fandom so it makes sense but still. 🥲 Also I swear I'll finish Awkward Business someday I'm just. So deep into Sherlock Holmes/DGS hell atm. ;A;

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I never do unless it's a specific question. I used to but then I got overwhelmed/I never knew what to say so I just stopped. That said, I read all of them and they really mean a ton to me!!!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Prob Running Late or Shoulder Pain. I'm not really good with angsty endings so I usually only keep it angsty in the shorter fics lmao.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Lololol I think most of my fics have happy endings so that's a hard one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! Thankfully, I think the hate on fics trend has died down a lot since the ff.net days.

9. Do you write smut?

Hell yeah. Please read my smut I'm so proud of it. I'm also on a quest to boost the hmmk smut tag on ao3 so if y'all have any smut you wanna see for them lmk.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope. My dream fic of a holmesverse crossover will happen someday though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I've had a few translated to Russian and Chinese. Honestly it's insanely flattering when ppl ask to translate a fic like ough you liked my story so much you wanted to share it with others who don't speak English? It's so sweet. ;A;

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Okay so Mango and Krissey and I started an amazing pirate AU and l adore it. And someday. We will finish it. I believe in us. I'd love to co-write a fic tho so if anyone's interested please hmu I think it'd be so so fun.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Ugh. Johnlock/Hmmk or Nrmt have to be like. The only ships that made me insane enough to write multiple fics over so it's def them. I love insanely codependant relationships.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There's so many. But off the top of my head, I have a fantasy AU that Beau and I came up with that I still love a ton (Finding You) and want to finish and a Edgeworth ends up in a Gregory lives AU (In Another Life) that I'm not sure if I'll ever finish. The former is just so much work and the latter I've kinda lost the plot thread so. Ough. Sorry.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

aksfjjalsjflsjf everything else LMAO. That's why we practice!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't love doing it? I've done it like once for a fic where language was important but other than that I try to avoid doing it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

....hetalia..........it was the only other fandom i wrote for before AA. This was like in 2009/2010 tho I know better now but those fics ARE still up on fanfiction.net (: It sucks b/c sometimes I wanna compare my old writing to my current writing but I'm like ough. I cannot read these old fics.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I'd have to say A Study In Gold. I genuinely love that one so much. Thinking about hmmk early days makes me insane. I also really liked On the Morality of Birds b/c it was just such a supremely stupid fic.

@anyone who sees this and writes fic please feel free to do it! I'd love to see others talk about their fics <3

[soggykookiesandcream]

𝐵𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝐹𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽 - 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝐼𝐼

"Wake up," I heard a scream.

...and a thud.

"What the hell..?" I question, which I meant to scream out came out as a mere whisper. HE HIT ME WITH A PILLOW.

"Wake up, sleepyhead. We're starting our excavation today." Jin said.

"Oh," I groaned, "Can I get 5 more minutes?"

"No," Jin said turning out scrambling through my suitcase to find me an outfit, "We have to get ready and leave by 8:30. You have half an hour. Get ready." He tosses the outfit he picked towards me and walked out of my tent.

I stretched myself and walked out of the tent into the common bathroom. I went into deep thoughts about my dream while brushing my teeth and doing my routine. Why did I see that dream... It was so weird. Ifinish my business, change and go back to my tent to gather all of the equipment I'll need. Torches, binoculars, pocket knives, etc. 

I go to the entrance of the camp and see my team waiting. 

"C'mon, we're late already." Hoseok extends his hand towards me with a bright smile. 

I smiled back at him, took his hand and got into the jeep.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

"We need to click photos first." Jin scolds a worker who was about to start the inspection.

"S-sorry, sir." He whispers and runs away to the jeep with equipment.

"Get the drones out!" I heard Hoseok scream at the workers.

"Hey," I heard.

"WHAT THE FU-"I jumped, "Oh god it was only you."

"Why? Who else would be here?" Namjoon chuckles.

"Haha, you're right. Silly me." I look down.

I could swear that I heard the man that appeared in my dreams...

"You seem not so excited for a girl who was rushing the process so we could start exploring this pyramid," Namjoon said noticing me zone out leaning on the jeep.

"Oh," I looked at the pyramid, "I was just waiting for the pre-excavation protocols to get over."

"Is everything alright?" Namjoon asks in concern.

"Yeah... why are you asking?" I reply.

"I don't know..." Namjoon sighs, "the usual you would be running around the place making sure everything's alright."

"Haha, Namjoon," I chuckle, "I'm just tired."

"You have to take care of yourself, dear," Namjoon said.

"D-dear?" I question him.

"Yeah. Dear," Namjoon raises his eyebrow, "Anything wrong?"

"Of course not," I chuckled nervously.

You need to get a grip over yourself Yuna...

"Oh, they've finished the protocols. Let's go." Namjoon pulls me away from the jeep.

I start sweating... A lot. 

"Yuna," Namjoon abruptly stops, "Are you REALLY okay?"

"Yeah..." I reply.

"Then why are you sweating?" He asks.

"It's kinda hot," I reply with a small smile.

"Hmm... Let's go then." He said pulling me along with him.

What is wrong with you Yuna? You've wanted to come here and explore for so long. Then why are you acting up like this? Everything's all right. You've done this like four to five times. Curses and ancient myths are not true. You never got cursed. Heck, senior archaeologists who've visited and explored tombs about ten thousand times did not get affected by anything. Now calm the heck down and woman up! We've got work to do!

"Let's hurry," I strode ahead of Namjoon, now pulling him.

"That's my girl," Namjoon smiled.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

That confidence only lasted a few minutes though. I started sweating profusely once I got close enough to the pyramid to examine it. I was dropping the magnification glass due to sweaty palms and I was stumbling back and forth getting scared of minute things like seeing a scorpion scurry away from me. I was never scared of scorpions, I've been around them all the while I explored the pyramids. You were overreacting because of a silly dream. I summed it up and moved to another spot to examine. 

Namjoon suddenly pulls me back. 

"WHAT THE HELL? NAMJOON, OMG MY HEART," I screamed.

"What the hell?" Namjoon questions me, "What is wrong with you? Why are you all over the place acting weird? Is everything okay? I've been asking you for the past one hour if you're okay. You're sweating like a pig and you're literally flinching at every little movement. You know you can trust me right?"

I did... I did trust him, but I did not know why I was acting like this. 

"I do, Namjoon." I looked at his expression which was laced in concern.

"I'm just scared because..." I breathed out, "I don't know. Maybe a movie I watched about mummies' curse? Haha, I know I'm silly. I got really scared of the movie and I have been having nightmares for a while... I'm sorry."

I lied. It was better to lie for now.

"Oh," Namjoon sighed, "that's not silly at all, Yuna. You know, if you bottle up emotions, then you'll end up having nightmares. If you were so scared, then why didn't you come up to one of us? We could've helped. Now come on. Jin was calling us for something through the radio."

"Okay," I smiled.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

"Took you two a while," Jin smirks, "What were you doing?"

"What?" I ask.

"Were you two doing something unholy against the tomb of a poor soul?" Jin wiggled his eyebrows playfully. 

"What!?" I blush, "No! Of course not."

"We were just examining the sides," Namjoon adds.

"Okay, okay," Jin smiles still not believing the two of us.

"What did you call us for?" Namjoon asks.

"Oh," Jin looks up from his camera, "That. We have a problem."

"What problem?" I ask.

"The pyramid is too fragile. We can't excavate it without it falling apart." Jin continues, "So just like Yuna mentioned before, it looks like it was put together very weakly and it will fall apart if we disturb it." 

"Oh, so all of this was for nothing?" I sigh.

A part of me was relieved if I was being honest.

"Well, not nothing at all," Hoseok came in, "We got some data from the inscriptions on the side of the pyramid walls."

"Great," Jin says, "We can return to the centre and decrypt it."

"Well," Namjoon sighs, "let's take some more photos and leave."

I nod.

"Let's go then."

1041 words

[kulemiwrites]

Voyeur | Takayuki Yagami & Masaharu Kaito

Lust could make a man do strange things...

Part: 0.5

Genre: SMUT

Rating: 18+

Word count: 2.2K

Character(s): Takayuki Yagami, Masaharu Kaito | fem!Reader

Warning: Heed the title as your warning.

Author's Note: I've been rotating this little idea in my head around like a rotisserie chicken for like 2 years, I think. Tonight, I finally got motivated to flesh out the old rough outline and when I did, I suddenly got super excited to write it out! In truth, it took me this long because I kept fighting myself on if I should write it since it's very... uh, morally dubious? Okay, so maybe it's a little fucked up actually buuuut, I thought it was fun! LMAO. I'm not sure if anyone other than me would be into this though. So, I'll be posting this prologue and just kinda monitoring the reception for a while to determine if I should finish it (publicly at least) Too tired and lazy to make a banner but I wanna post this now because I'll be busy the next couple days. I'll come back and edit this once I make one!

Too long for Tumblr? Read on AO3!

~Prologue~

Everything about what Yagami was doing now– what he’d been doing for months now– was wrong, but damn would he be lying if he said that it didn’t feel oh so fucking right. His eyes poured over you and he found that at this second, he couldn’t even recall the moment this all started. 

This internal game of tug of war. 

The night you strutted into the bar, in that teensy black dress with a sinful smile painted on your lips and a splotch from Kaito’s greed painted on your neck, Yagami knew that he found you attractive. The question he couldn’t answer though, was when did a simple acknowledgement of your attractiveness shift into such a shameful, feral need to have himself buried inside you like this? 

He couldn’t explain it himself. 

There wasn’t a definitive moment when he decided that he had to have you. He just knew that one day he realized he did and by then, it was already too late. He was already in far too deep to turn back. 

Sometimes, he wondered that if he had caught the shift sooner could he have chosen better? Could he have protected you from himself? Protected his relationship with Kaito, a man he cherished– a man he deeply respected. If he’d just reminded himself of what the other man meant to him, could he have prevented himself from doing something so despicable? Could he have stopped himself being so selfish and doing something this deplorable? 

Unforgivable…

He knew the answers to those questions and as much as he hesitated to acknowledge them, he couldn’t deny the truth.

And that… was but a fraction of the sin he knew Kaito would never forgive. 

He’d gone much too far. 

It didn’t matter how many half-baked excuses Yagami cooked up and stored in his arsenal for the day he was inevitably confronted, Yagami knew better than to believe that his friend– his most trusted partner, would ever go for it. In fact, he was fully certain that Kaito would bash his head in before he even managed to bullshit his way through the first one.

Yet, that fact didn’t prevent him from hissing out a swear at the feel of that tight grip around his length. 

Hot. 

God, he was so fucking hot. 

He should’ve stopped to crack a window– No, he should’ve cracked it beforehand because he was far too engrossed in you to stop now. 

His tongue darted out to swipe at his dry lips and he caught the droplet of sweat cascading past the right corner of his lips.

He was probably as sweaty as you now but he didn’t mind and he didn’t care one bit that your sweat had stained the faux leather of his sofa. Not when you glistened so divinely. He’d give the spot a scrub tomorrow but for now, you prepaid for the damage by having your tits on display for him to admire. The way they jiggled with each hard thrust, he’d have thought that they were beckoning him to have a taste. 

How tantalizing… 

Fuck!

He spat the word with so much venom that the burn lingered behind in his throat long after the growl had left him. 

He had to hand it to you…

You knew how to take a cock better than any girl he’d ever had. What a greedy little thing. Three orgasms in and you were still so desperate for more? The corners of his mouth quivered at the thought. Hell, he almost couldn’t keep up with you. The violent twitch of his dick was warning him of that with every passing moment. If he didn’t lag his strokes, he’d have spilled himself before you’d had your fill and well, he couldn’t have that. 

How would he ever be able to face you then?

Your perfect lips parted but with no sound to spill from them, he failed to pick up what you were hoping to communicate. 

“What are you trying to say?” his query falling only on his ears alone.

A pang surged through his chest when your dainty fingers reached to desperately claw at the man’s chest, your back bowing off the sofa. If he hadn’t been at this for so long, he’d have struggled to believe it. 

You were coming again?

A biting chuckle pushed past his lips as the thought crossed his mind: Surely he wasn’t that good.

He allowed the bitter thought to drown beneath the crack of skin viciously clapping against itself as he watched you parsimoniously help yourself to the cock that had been splitting you. 

Shiiiit. This one seemed to have been wearing you down, but it was just as well. He’d long since reached his limit too.

Your lips parted wide and this was but one of the many times he’d cursed himself for not installing a camera with an audio feed. However, now was not the time to disparage himself for his lack of foresight. If he focused right now and remembered your tells from the other videos, he could time you coming undone perfectly with his own peak. 

If he really tried, he could probably recall the sound of your voice almost perfectly too.

You’d been so fucking loud tonight. He’d heard you through the window when he rounded the corner on his way back to the office and it only grew clearer with each stair he climbed. If he didn’t know any better, he’d have believed that you wanted to get caught fucking your boyfriend– or whatever it was you were calling Kaito these days, on the couch in his office like a couple of filthy animals. 

He could have laughed when he received that frantic text from Kaito asking him to pick up a pack of smokes after you were done to try and buy a little more time to get yourselves together. The errand had done him a favor too, at least. He was able to awkwardly walk off the boner you’d given him and had cleared his mind well enough to think to slip out of his coat and strategically drape it over his arm to cover the wet spot left behind at the front of his jeans.

And that too was laughable in retrospect, considering you and Kaito hadn’t even bothered to try and hide the wet spot left behind on his sofa from your secretions, thinking that you could lie about spilling a bottle of water and get away with it as if he couldn’t smell the scent of salacious sex in the air lingering beneath Kaito’s air freshener made of cigarette smoke. 

Not to mention, there wasn’t a single empty water bottle in sight…

He had to bite the insides of his cheeks when he let out that low hum of understanding, so that he could pretend that he bought the bullshit you were selling without laughing. 

The two of you truly believed he was a fool but he supposed the feeling was mutual. Just how many times did you think you could fuck in his office without him finding out about it? 

Without him doing something about it….

Your side profile was gorgeous. If he were any bit of an artist, he imagined he’d have been able to draw it from memory now. 

Kaito pressed his lips to yours as his hips grew more ragged, not a semblance of rhythm even without the sound of them connecting. You broke away to toss your head to the side, showing Yagami even more of your blissed out expression. 

He gasped, taking his plump bottom lip– plump from his own harsh sucking of it, between his teeth then hesitated to shut his eyes so that he could focus on recalling the obscene sounds you gifted to all of Building One and Nakamichi Street. It was any wonder how he hadn’t received a noise complaint yet on account of you– then he’d have to confront you two.

But that would ruin the fun for everyone. 

Fuuuuck, he wanted y– scratch that, he needed you.

He can’t think of a person he’s ever lusted after this desperately in his life. Not even his most recent ex had made him this delirious, and she was a total smoke show.

The thought stole a pathetic sob from him and he immediately snatched the hem of his white t-shirt and clenched it tight between his teeth to force himself silent but there was no use. The moment the sudden draft kissed his perspiring skin, he gasped. His messy head of hair lolled back against the sofa, Adam’s apple bobbing with desperation as he pushed out ragged breath after ragged breath. 

It was Kaito’s name that you cried out to the skies tonight but if he focused hard enough, he could deceive himself into believing that he’d heard you call on him instead.

That was the thought that sent him tumbling over the edge. 

Your pretty teeth chattering before they’d briefly connect to make the Tah in Takayuki…

He’d cum so hard that when his eyes shot open, he thought he’d seen his soul appear before him before they fluttered shut again. A colorful string of filth spilled past his lips as he twitched through the final tugs at his dick, warm ribbons of pearlescence making a mess of his veiny hands, sweaty thighs and even reaching the table in front of him, narrowly missing you on his laptop.

Yagami teased the angry red head of his length, drawing out the last of the pearls trickling out of his slit until there was nothing left.

The resentful surge that had become increasingly more familiar these days coursed through him when he returned his attention to the screen and found you idly running your fingers through Kaito’s hair as he trembled above you in a slump.

Had Yagami believed in a higher power, he might have prayed at the moment that one day, he’d find himself under the caress of that same tender hand. No matter how immoral an ask it may have been. 

But alas…

Letting out a heavy whoosh, signaling profound relief, he ripped his white tee over his head in a single motion. Then, he used it to dab away the sweat from his face and chest and clean the cum from his fingers, stomach, thighs and table then dropped his mess in a heap on the floor near his feet. He wrestled his pants back up his hips but didn’t bother to fasten them for now and reached for his laptop. 

Using his middle finger, he swirled the cursor around the screen as he contemplated if he wanted to continue to watch the footage or close it until he saw something that made his heart and stomach lurch. He wasn’t certain if what he thought he’d seen was what he actually saw and he had to be certain before his mind fell into an anxious frenzy. 

With furrowed brows, he tapped the left arrow key to rewind thirty seconds and leaned in with narrowed eyes to confirm. When he caught your eyes making direct contact with the camera, this throat tightened. 

He hadn’t been mistaken. You looked. 

And you looked like you knew what you were looking at.

A chill rippled through him from head to toe. Every hair on his body, thick and fine, stood when he spotted the slow curving of your lips. But the moment that made him slam his laptop shut– the moment that stole his breath away was the moment you winked at him.

You fucking winked?

He reached to run both unsteady hands through his damp hair as he turned that second over and over and over again in his mind. 

No one had known about the camera he’d installed, right? Not even, Kaito…

Right?

How the hell would you know before his own business partner– the man who shared this office knew? And why hadn’t you told Kaito yet? Why hadn’t you confronted him yet? Or at the very least, why were you continuing to fuck in his office if you had suspicions someone had been watching you? 

Surely his mind was playing tricks on him. You didn’t know. There was no way you knew but if you did, what did that smile mean? 

No… 

He had to investigate. He had to get to the bottom of this. But how was he meant to do that without somehow incriminating himself? And what the fuck did that smile mean? 

The questions whirled through his mind at a pace that was beginning to make him lightheaded. 

He ripped his laptop back open and furiously entered his password, his leg bouncing from the sudden influx of nerves. He knew what he had to do. Perhaps his judgment was too clouded by arousal that he’d missed something crucial up until that point. Maybe there was a trail of clues in the footage that’d tell him everything he needed to know. 

He just needed to rewatch the video, starting from the moment you straddled Kaito on this very sofa. 

He sucked in a barbed breath as he tapped the spacebar. This time, he wouldn’t skip a second. This time, he was watching for personal business and not personal pleasure. 

When he felt the flutter in his groin, he wondered, for the first time in his career, if he’d be able to get through his investigation without shoving his hands back down his pants.

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