#i swear i dont feel entitled to ao3 engagement but it just flopped so hard it hurt my feelings :(

[monstersinthecosmos]

i saw your tweet about not writing for 2 months bcos no one likes your last fic??!! vantablack?? what do you mean!! I LOVEE THAT FIC LIKE NO OTHER FIC BEFORE IT.

i am right here right now baring my soul to you to say how much i owe you my life for that fic! THANK YOU!! that fic was so well written that i, who rarely drop asks to people, is right now on my knees, dropping this ask in your inbox just to tell you this :((

dsagdkjl omg thank you ALSO I'M REALLY EMBARRASSED I TWEETED THAT WHILE I WAS HAVING A FIT FEELIGN BAD FOR MYSELF I'M SORRY I'M SORRY LOL

to be clear I try to keep my fandoms sequestered (sorry VC/IWTVtwt is absolutely insufferable & SK fandom can't thrive on tumblr because tumblr is not friendly to adult content) but I was talking about my last SK fic that kinda flopped. I am really intentional about not taking fic engagement & numbers seriously as a measure of my self worth but it also was just like absolutely crickets on my last couple SK fics and it really hurt my feelings. 😂

anyway I beg everyone please leave comments on the fics that you read. Fic writers do it for fun and share it for free, please don't just consume them mindlessly like they're a content mill. It's the easiest way to drive writers out of your fandoms and then you stand around wondering why there's no fic. I've never taken it personally that my VC fics don't do numbers, either, because the fandom was always so small, but VC discord has always been really supportive to me so I felt okay about it and knew who my secret audience was. It's not about clout and numbers, but it's hard when there's no feedback at all, it's not a good feeling.

(I'm also a terminally insecure writer so my first thought is always "wow I fucked up, I must have mischaracterized, my pacing doesn't make sense, all these hits and no comments because people got bored and DNF" etc. lol. lmao.)

It's really not about entitlement, either; it's not a numbers game to me. One comment means the world to me. But I just need like something, even if it's just one person who liked it letting me know they liked it, because writing is really hard and lonely and takes a lot of time and it's really hard to stay motivated when no one wants to talk to you about it, you know? I'm a person who would probably write, anyway, but I don't necessarily feel the need to share my fics on AO3. Why waste the time editing and agonizing over it and trying to stick to a schedule if no one fucking cares haha.

THIS HAS TURNED INTO A PITY PARTY I'M REALLY SORRY, ANYWAY PLEASE EVERYONE BE NICE TO FIC WRITERS THEY ARE SENSITIVE LOL