#i swear his character didn’t even have a name but i had a dream about him and now I've been thinking about this fic all day

[dance-is-life27]

Me vs the urge to write x reader fics for characters that absolutely no one will read

[shuafiles]

lie to girls [l.jn]

you don't have to lie to girls. if they like you, they'll just lie to themselves.

MDNI, 18+

SUMMARY | it was hard watching jeno struggle with his relationship, but it was even harder when he ran to you for comfort every time. especially when you, his long-time best friend, have been in love with him for the longest time. but when jeno starts lying about where he’s going and who he’s with, you realize the biggest lie might be the one you’re telling yourself—that he’ll ever choose you. or girls will cry, and girls will lie, and girls will lose their goddamn minds for you.

PAIRING | bff!jeno x afab!reader (x univ student!jaemin)

CONTENT | university!au, best friends to ?, angst, infidelity (no i do not condone this), swearing, miscommunication, drinking, smut (fingering, oral [f receiving], nipple play, unprotected sex [dont do this], dirty talk, few degrading names, perv!jeno, voyeurism? [listening in], masturbation, cream pie), lowercase intended, doesn’t end in angst

FEATURING | nct dream, nct 127’s jaehyun, aespa’s karina & winter, le sserafim’s chaewon & yunjin, txt’s soobin, the boyz’s eric

WORDS | 25.9k

PLAYLIST | lie to girls – sabrina carpenter, everytime – ariana grande, focus – niki, wildflower – billie eilish, cry – cigarettes after sex

A/N | quick disclaimer that this is all fiction, and my depiction of the characters i used is far from reality. i wanted to make the characters (mostly y/n and jeno) a bit flawed but idk dont think too heavily and please read with an open heart and mind. enjoy! likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated (leaving feedback would be great!) <3

“hey.” jeno greeted you, standing at your front door, which only meant one thing. they fought again.

you pushed the door wider, letting him inside. he looked like a mess, his shoulders slumped, dark bags around his eyes, hair disheveled. even from afar, you could tell he was going through something. his phone was in his hand, checking for notifications, but he let out a huge sigh when the home screen was empty.

“do i even want to know?” you prodded, eyes watching him as he plopped down on the couch. his head tilted back on the headrest, mind filled with thoughts.

“you know how she is.” jeno mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands. “said she needed some space.”

unfortunately, i do know how she is. jeno’s girlfriend, karina. they’ve been together since first year of college when jeno met her at some random party. they were the kind of couple on campus that, at first glance, seemed perfect, but you knew all too well what kind of chaos haunted them in private. you were too familiar with how she behaved with jeno; most of the time, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

jeno didn’t even have to say anything when you saw him at your front door. you have grown accustomed to this pattern: the same heartache, apologies, and cycle of hope and disappointment. and every time it occurred, jeno ended up here—at your door, at your couch, sulking.

you wanted nothing more than to scold jeno for letting himself get run over by her, but you kept your lips sealed. deciding that giving him comfort and support was what he needed right now.

“again, huh?” you sat down on the opposite side of him, tucking your legs beneath you.

“i don’t even know what that means, y/n.” jeno sighed, running his hand through his hair. he lifted his head to face you, gaze soft as he held eye contact with you. “one minute, everything’s perfect, and we’re fine, but suddenly, i’ve apparently done something wrong, and she won't even tell me.” his voice cracked, hopelessness evident in his tone. it pained you to see him like this. how many times is he going to let her do this to him?

“well, did you do something wrong?” you asked, but you knew jeno too well, he wouldn’t do anything to sabotage his relationship. sure, he has made mistakes in the past, but he was a good person, a good friend, and a good lover, you suppose.

jeno stayed silent for a moment, recalling if he had done something to make his girlfriend upset. “i–no, at least i don’t think so.” he shook his head, “i’ve just been busy with classes, but i always make time for her. and everything we’re together, i always try to make it special. you know?”

you nodded along to his words, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. you have heard this story countless times, you could probably recite it to him. it wasn’t unusual for karina to act like this; she’d get upset over something vague, and then jeno would beat himself up for it, but he’d still bend over backward to get her back.

“maybe she’s just going through something?” you said, trying to think of what to say to ease his mind.

you and karina were acquaintances at best. it’s not like you didn’t try to be her friend, but something about her attitude seems so off-putting. you weren’t entirely sure if karina was fond of you either. of course, you never told jeno any of these. you knew he wouldn’t listen, not when it comes to her. he loves her. he’d return to her every time, like a moth to a flame. and you’d be there, picking up the pieces when he got burned.

“i wish she’d just tell me what’s on her mind instead of leaving me wondering what i did wrong.” his face twisted into frustration with a mix of confusion.

“jen, you know i can’t help you if you don’t tell her what you’re feeling.” this time, you couldn’t hold back. “you’re supposed to tell her these, not me.”

jeno flinched at your words, somehow unsatisfied with your advice. “yeah��� you’re right.”

you watched his expression, his eyebrows furrowed while he was deep in thought. “i’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear.” you hesitated, knowing you were treading dangerous waters. “i just think… you deserve someone who actually appreciates you.”

jeno stayed silent, processing your words as if he hadn’t told himself that a million times. but for some stupid reason, he couldn’t keep it in his head. he looked down at his phone, tapping the screen once more, but to his disappointment, there was still nothing. “i know you’re just looking out for me, y/n. but… i just can’t give up on her. not yet.”

and just like that, you could feel him slipping away, back into her orbit, leaving you alone with all the things you couldn’t say, wondering when he would run back to you again.

“class dismissed.” the professor announced loudly, making you snap out of your dozy state. you weren't even sure if you paid attention to class today.

you quickly gathered your stuff, students leaving the lecture hall one by one. your phone buzzed in your pocket, fishing for it, you read the message from mark.

mark: yo dude heard jaehyun’s throwing a party tomorrow, wanna come? mark: also i think i saw jeno and she-who-must-not-be-named together

struggling to balance your laptop in one hand and type on your phone with the other; you barely noticed a figure stepping in front of you—until they bumped into you, sending you off balance.

“oh my god!” a familiar voice shrieked, karina. you lifted your head to see her arms linked with jeno. her faced mixed with shock and annoyance.

“sorry!” you mumbled, quickly gathering your belongings to be more composed.

“hey, y/n.” jeno smiled at you, your chest tightened at his bright face. after he visited you a week ago, you haven’t heard much from him, aside from his occasional responses in the group chat you share with mark and haechan. all you knew was he was busy trying to get his girlfriend back. you weren’t sure if they made up, given that he hadn’t contacted you at all, but seeing as they were currently inseparable, you could probably guess their relationship right now.

karina patted down her skirt and top as if she were the one who practically fell. “y/n!” as if it was on cue, she flashed you a smile. “haven’t seen you in a hot minute. you going to jaehyun’s tomorrow?” you felt sick to your stomach. something was unsettling about how karina spoke to you, or maybe it was all in your head, and you were thinking too deeply about it.

you hesitated, glancing down at your phone, rereading mark’s message. did you really want to spend an entire night seeing jeno and karina pressed up against each other now that they were back together?

“i might.” you sent her a small smile, “mark and haechan are going, i think i’ll tag along.” glancing at jeno for a second, who was intently staring at you. a pit formed in your stomach at the sight of him, he looked better compared to last week—more relaxed, at ease.

“great!” karina clapped her hands together, “we’ll see you there.” she took Jeno’s hand, pulling him away with a little more force than necessary. he stumbled slightly, laughing as they disappeared down the hall, his voice echoing through the space and leaving a familiar ache in your chest.

you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the interaction, and texted mark back.

you: where are u? need someone to talk to

“are you even surprised at this point?” mark let out, mouth filled with the sandwich he was munching on. you were both seated in the field of the campus, deciding to reconnect with mother nature after the encounter you just had. you told mark about how you saw them together and how jeno looked happy again. you stayed silent at his comment, closing your eyes as you basked in the sunlight. “how’d you feel seeing them together?”

mark knew you too well. he was one of the people you confided in about your feelings for jeno. him and chaewon, your roommate. in the same way, jeno kept running to you when he was heartbroken, you ran to mark and chaewon whenever you were in the same cycle.

just as jeno used you as his safe place, you had mark and chaewon. they were the ones who listened when you cried, over and over, thinking that maybe this time he’d see you differently. and every time, they were the ones who held you every time you fell down.

you were in love with jeno. how could you not be? you grew up together, spending your childhood years nearly every second of the day. you were there to witness every version of him—his awkward phase in middle school with braces and bowl haircut, the high school years when he was navigating through puberty, and now, the college student jeno admired by everyone.

you were there for it all.

you were six when you witnessed jeno’s first tooth falling out. you couldn’t forget the way the blood dripped from his mouth, making you bawl, yet he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of the tooth on his hand.

you were ten when jeno first learned how to ride a bike. he came knocking on your door to show off his skills, but he fell and scraped his knees within five seconds of riding it.

you were thirteen when jeno came to you when he had his heart was broken. he wrote a letter to his crush admitting his feelings for her, but he came crying to you when he got rejected for the first time in his life.

you were eighteen when you and jeno sat in front of your laptops, awaiting the email of the university you had both applied to. you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around each other and squeal when you found out you both had been accepted.

however, you were sixteen when you first well in love with jeno. it was during prom when you got stood up by your date. jeno saw you sulking in the corner of the room, and without hesitation, he ditched his prom date to be with you for the rest of the night. he brought you to the dance floor and danced with you through every song.

every adult in your life was convinced you two would end up getting married due to your closeness, which he would always deny. each phase, each moment with jeno, made you realize how hard you were falling for him. he was your best friend, the only constant in your life. somewhere along the lines, you realized that friendship wasn’t enough for you.

but for jeno, it was the complete opposite. sure, he loved you, loved having you around, but there was this line between the two of you—one he never dared to cross. he was focused on finding love elsewhere, and it never occurred to him to look for it in the person who was always in front of him. you would be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t pain you that he has never once looked for love in you.

“does it even matter?” you sighed, feeling the sun dance across your skin. “you know he’ll always run back to her.”

“yeah, because you never told him how you felt.” mark scoffed, setting his half-eaten sandwich down while wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “who knows? maybe he feels the same.”

“don’t.” you warned him, sending him a glare while he just sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. it was too painful to entertain the idea, too exhausting to keep hoping.  you were just his best friend, the person he ran to when he needed comfort, but never the person he’d choose. you hated it. you hated waiting around like a lost puppy for him. “can we just talk about something else, please.”

mark hummed, his eyes roaming around the campus. “why don’t you let loose at jaehyun’s party tomorrow? maybe even look for someone to distract you from him.”

you chuckled, hugging your knees to your chest. “if only it were that easy.”

it’s not like you didn’t try to suppress your feelings for jeno. in fact, you did everything you could think of, even going to great lengths such as downloading a dating app—due to haechan’s insistence to attempt casual flings, kissing random strangers at parties, and even having one-night stands with people from campus. yet no matter how hard you tried, your feelings for jeno still crept up like a shadow you couldn’t escape.

there were moments where you thought you were okay and accepted that you don’t always get what you want in life—until a memory of him would hit you out of nowhere, and you’re back to square one. you get reminded of his laughter, the soft eye-smile he would give you whenever he spotted you in a crowd, and his goofy side, which only came out when he was around you. the memories haunted you whenever you least expected it, and no dating app or reckless decision could erase them.

chaewon stood in front of your closet; arms crossed against her chest as she inspected your wardrobe. you were not afraid to dress slutty, in fact, you had a fair share of provocative clothes stashed somewhere in your closet. but the way chaewon was staring at your wardrobe made you rethink all your fashion choices.

“i should really take you out shopping more often.” she mumbled, more to herself than to you. she began rummaging through the hung clothes, trying to find the perfect outfit for tonight. “you’re wasting so much potential.”

you raised an eyebrow, “i think i look fine.” watching as she pulled out different articles of clothing.

“fine isn’t going to get you laid.” chaewon turned to face you, a bunch of different colored tops in her arms. “we need something that screams, ‘fuck you, lee jeno, look what you’re missing out on.’”

you’ve mentioned to her that jeno and karina would be there as a couple again. and she—as the most supportive best friend—made it her personal mission to make you look like the hottest bitch in the party, just to flaunt what jeno had been too blind to see. she wasn’t about to let you shrink in the shadows of jeno and karina’s perfect little bubble. she wanted to make sure that all eyes would be on you.

you sat on the bed, watching her make a mess out of your closet. “i’m not even sure if i’m ready to put myself out there.” you sighed.

chaewon shot you a pointed look, the kind you’d see on your disappointed friend's face. “please. this is why we need to get you into the sluttiest clothes ever. you need to stop thinking of him and start thinking of yourself, y/n.”

chaewon’s words hung heavy in the air. she was right. you needed to stop playing the part of a background character in jeno’s life. it was getting exhausting, and you weren’t sure how long you could keep pretending like it didn’t bother you at all.

“you’re right.” you murmured, fingers playing with another.

her face lit up as she pulled out a black leather mini skirt, paired with a tight red crop top that accentuates your curves perfectly. you forgot you even owned these. “found it!” she squealed, showing you her discovery. “perfect. you look hot in red.” shaking your head at her enthusiasm, you let out a laugh. she chucked you the clothes, taking the sign to go change into them. “babe, if jeno’s dick doesn’t stand up the second he sees you in this, then maybe he is blind!” sending you a wink as you walked into the bathroom.

as you changed into your new outfit, your stomach couldn’t help but flip as you stared into your reflection. chaewon was right, you did look hot in these clothes. you felt silly for putting this much effort into jeno, who would most likely give you a half-assed hug in return.

you shook your head as you tried to push him out of your thoughts. deciding to adjust your top just enough to show off the perfect amount of cleavage. you had to focus on yourself. whether or not jeno would notice you didn’t matter anymore. you were going to have fun.

“dang! look at you.” mark whistled as you walked into the kitchen where he and haechan were situated, with drinks in their hands.

you felt your cheeks heat up under mark’s approving gaze. haechan, on the other hand, was shamelessly checking you out. “was this chaewon’s doing? because, wow, you look amazing.”

their flirting wasn’t something out of the ordinary; you were close friends who knew when to boost each other’s confidence. you couldn’t help but laugh at their comments, eyes wandering around the place. jaehyun’s place was filled with students dancing, chatting, and drinking. lights flashing from the makeshift led lights he probably put up, the crowd bathing in neon lights. the air was thick with sweat, perfume, and cheap alcohol. the music was being managed by johnny, who was the designated dj for tonight.

“looking for someone?” mark teased as he watched you scan the environment, nudging heachan with his elbow, who was smirking.

“no,” you lied, but you knew they could see right through you. “just looking around.” haechan nodded, but his expression showed that you were being dishonest. he handed you a red plastic cup filled with something that smelled fruity but strong. you silently thanked him before drowning the alcohol down your throat. you couldn’t help but wince at the intense flavor.

“you sure? not looking for someone in particular?” mark chuckled, taking a sip from his cup.

before you could come up with a response, you felt a hand on your shoulder. your body froze before turning around to see who it was. of course, it was who you expected—jeno, with his usual eye smile—enough to brighten up the room. karina, who looked as beautiful as ever, was attached to his side with a smile on her face.

your heart sank, but you kept your expression light, flashing the couple a smile while locking eyes with jeno. you nearly missed the way his eyes traveled down your frame, but you weren’t sure if it was because you were intoxicated or you just wanted him to check you out. you swore his eyes lightly widened, but his gaze returned to karina as if nothing happened.

“hey guys.” jeno greeted, eyes wandering between the three of you but landing on you. you shifted beneath his gaze but shook it off; he was your best friend, of course. you gave him and karina a polite nod, although your stomach was churning at the sight of them.

“jeno!” haechan exclaimed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, making karina lightly lose her balance. her expression grew sour at haechan’s actions. “we missed you, man.” he jokingly puckered his lips to plant a kiss on his cheek, but jeno just laughed and tried to dodge his lips.

“here you go, dude.” mark handed jeno and karina a drink which they accepted and drank. the air suddenly felt tight, your chest pounding, so you looked at mark for help. he sensed your uneasiness, placing his cup down on the counter. “alright! time to dance, y/n, come with me.” mark grabbed your hand, guiding you towards the dance floor, feeling a gaze on you as you left the kitchen.

the music was deafeningly loud, bodies bumping into each other as you navigated the living room. you mumbled an apology to every person you hit, nearly stumbling, but mark’s grip on you saved you. once you finally found a spot, you let loose, moving to the rhythm as the lights flashed overhead. haechan and chaewon shortly found you, forming a crowd as you danced.

from across the room, jeno sat on a couch with karina perched on his side, her legs on top of his lap as her fingers ran across the back of his head.

“this party’s boring.” karina complained, letting out a sigh while taking another sip from her cup.

jeno didn’t respond. he wanted nothing more than to join his friends on the dance floor, but he knew it wasn’t karina’s crowd, so he decided to stay with her to avoid getting her upset. “you’ve been awfully quiet. did i do something?”

jeno shook his head, eyes landing on hers. “no,” he grasped her hand in his. “don’t you want to dance?”

“you know i’m not into this kind of scene, jeno. why’d we even come here?” karina scoffed, pulling her legs off his lap and crossing her arms. jeno pursed his lips, the tension between them rising.

“you said you wanted to see what the fuss was about, babe.” jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i thought we could have fun together with my friends for once.”

“what’s that supposed to mean!” karina snapped, but jeno was listening to someone else in particular; a burst of laughter from the dance floor caught his attention. his eyes instinctively found you, spinning with mark and chaewon, a carefree smile on your face. he nearly sulked as he watched his friends have fun while he was sitting in a corner.

karina’s eyes followed to where jeno was staring at, her expressions souring even more once he realized jeno wasn’t even listening to her. “of course,” her voice cut through his trance. “you’re not even paying attention to me.”

chaewon caught what was stirring from the corner of her eyes, nudging you. “uh oh, trouble in paradise again.”

you sneaked a glance at where they were sitting; it was easy to spot jeno in a crowd. his back was hunched, karina’s eyebrows furrowed while speaking to him. you almost felt sorry for him.

jeno’s gaze met yours, you quickly looked away to pretend you were not snooping on them, but you knew he saw you staring anyway. you shook off your thoughts, trying to focus on having fun with your friends. you hated the effect he had on you. you hated how easily he got under your skin, how his presence could unravel the fragile composure you worked so hard to maintain.

meanwhile, karina had grown tired of jeno’s distracted demeanor. she stood up abruptly, clutching her purse in her hands. “i’m leaving.” she told jeno, annoyance evident in her tone.

“babe, wait—” jeno stood up, catching her arm, but she shrugged him off.

“stay if you want. don’t bother following me. i’ll text you whenever.” she snapped before storming out of the room.

jeno stood there, watching her back, slowly immersing herself in the crowd. for some reason, he couldn’t move; he didn’t want to move. the guilt of letting her storm off alone clashed with the relief of not encountering a full-on argument. he knows his actions will probably lead to a massive fight with her again, but he was just too tired to deal with it tonight. his eyes trailed back to where you were dancing, but you were no longer there; only mark and haechan remained.

you couldn’t handle another second of witnessing jeno and karina together. you decided to escape the crowd and find an empty room to gather your thoughts. thankful that jaehyun’s house was large enough to have an unoccupied room. the noise from the party was muffled the second you shut the door behind you.

you sat on the edge of the bed, sighing as you ran your hand through your hair. get it together. you scolded yourself before plopping back on the soft mattress. tonight was supposed to be about letting loose, but the sight of jeno with her was too unbearable. the room became unbreathable as thoughts clouded your mind. you often wondered why jeno couldn’t just look at what was in front of him. the way he made you feel like a teenager pining over her crush made you laugh.

soft knocks on the door snapped you back to life. curious, you stood up and hovered over the doorknob.

“y/n?” the voice from the other side of the door called out, making your breath hitch. “are you in there?”

jeno. why was he here? how did you know you were here? you hesitated before grabbing the doorknob and turning it to open the door. there he was—clad in a black shirt with some jeans, yet he still looked like he was crafted by the gods.

“jeno? what are you doing here?” you resisted the urge to ask him why he wasn’t with his girlfriend, but from the looks of the events earlier, they probably quarreled again.

jeno didn’t respond, instead, he moved past you and into the room you were occupying. you shut the door behind you, not bothering to lock it because you saw no need to. he sat on the edge of the bed, where you had previously sat.

you were lost. you don’t know how you should act right now, and jeno seemed so defeated.

“you’ve been avoiding me all night.” jeno spoke, his eyes trained on you. you were leaning against the door, a wide distance between the two of you.

you nearly laughed at the absurdity of his statement. “i wasn’t avoiding you, jen. you were just busy with karina the entire night.” it was true, you had no intentions of ignoring him. in fact, a part of you wanted to see him, to see you. even though you convinced yourself that tonight was about you, it wouldn’t hurt if he saw the effort you put on today.

he took a second to scan your frame, his lips tugging into a small smile when he reached your face. “you look nice.” your heart leaped at his compliment. throat going dry as you thought of words to say to him.

“you’re not so bad yourself.” you chuckled. the air felt thick, you weren’t sure if it was only on your end. you couldn’t help but let your eyes roam his body as well. you knew jeno was fit—he was always diligent about his attendance at the gym—and it surely didn’t help your thoughts that you had a massive crush on him. he looked great, so hot. it made it hard to think straight.

jeno’s eyes didn’t leave yours, his gaze was so intense that it made you want to cower and run away. you cleared your throat. “why are you here, jeno?” you asked, breaking the silence. even though you already anticipated the answer.

“we fought.” you knew it. “i just… i needed to get away for a bit.” of course, why else would he seek for you?

your heart banged against your chest. you wanted to comfort him, to be his solace as you had always been, playing the part of his best friend. but at the same time, you hated being his safe space, you hated how he ran to you only when things got messy with her. it was not fair.

“does she know you’re here?” you asked cautiously, watching as his face twisted into worry.

“she left.” jeno shook his head, leaning back against the mattress with his hands bracing him. you hated how casual he was being. “said i could stay here if i wanted.” his voice laced with frustration, eyes falling to the floor.

you nodded slowly, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from uttering words that you’d soon regret. as a best friend, you were supposed to tell him to go after her, to patch things up with her like he always does. but tonight, you wanted to be selfish. you wanted him to stay.

“and you came here?” the words left your mouth, and you regretted it immediately.

jeno lifted his head, eyes meeting yours once again. “yeah.” he said, standing up from his spot, taking careful strides towards you. your eyes widened when he approached you. “i came here.” he stopped in front of you, making you take a step backward, but your back just hit the wall, preventing you from moving any further. his frame towering over yours.

there were warning bells ringing in your ears as jeno’s eyes flicked down to your lips. it was subtle, but it was enough to send your thoughts spiraling. your mind was screaming at you to move, to say something, to do anything—but all your heart could focus on was him.

what was he doing?

he was getting dangerously close to you. his perfume hitting your nose, the familiar scent taking over you. the silence in the room was loud, his hand landing on the space next to your head, resting on the wooden door.

“jeno…” your voice came out soft, almost whisper-like, pleading him. although you weren’t entirely sure if you were pleading for him to stop or continue. your pulse racing as he leaned even closer, the gap between you shrinking. the invisible barrier you’d tried so hard to build came crashing down as his intoxicating scent painted the room with tension that grew impossibly thick.

jeno paused to stare into your eyes, looking for signs of doubt in them. his movements were cautious, as though he was giving you time to stop him—but your body betrayed you as you stood frozen in place.

this wasn’t—shouldn’t— supposed to happen. this wasn’t you. you weren’t supposed to have him this close to you—not when he wasn’t yours to begin him.

but the way he looked at you now, like you were his favorite dessert that his mother told him he couldn’t have at a grocery store, made it so hard to pull away.

“i—we can’t.” you croaked out, your voice betraying you.

“tell me to stop.” jeno mumbled, his lips barely grazing yours.

stop.

stop!

you couldn’t stop.

jeno crashed his lips to yours. his taste greeting your tongue, the flavor of alcohol mixed with something uniquely him. you gasped into the kiss, eyes shutting as your hands instinctively flew to his chest while his mouth moved against yours. he didn’t miss the opportunity to slide his tongue between your parted lips, roaming it around. you felt your knees weaken.

jeno was kissing you. and you were kissing him back. the moment you had dreamed of and longed for was becoming a reality. it was real—vivid, and more overwhelming than anything you could imagine.

his hands fell to your waist, pulling your body flush against his. your hands gripped his shirt, tugging him close to you. the heat of his body pressed against yours, sending shivers down your spine. the feeling of him getting hard against your thigh snapped you back to your senses. your eyes fluttered open with a surge of panic before pushing his body away. what have you done?

“what the fuck.” you whispered, hand reaching up to touch your lips that were on his mere seconds ago as if you couldn’t believe the affair that just occurred.

“y/n—“ jeno started, arms reaching out for you. but you pulled away from him. “hey, it’s okay.” he assured you. his expression turning soft as he watched your panicked state. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have—”

the kiss was replaying in your head, the vivid moment playing repeatedly to remind you it was immoral. but deep inside, you were floating on the clouds. jeno kissed you. you weren’t sure if you were sorry to begin with.

“i-i need to go.” you mumbled, turning around and grabbing the doorknob. jeno took a step back to give you some space.

“let me explain.” jeno called out, but you were already scrambling towards the door, needing to create distance between the two of you, leaving him and your chaos of emotions behind.

“i’m so excited!” chaewon squealed as she held onto your hand, practically dragging you towards the bus.

it was the annual retreat the student council had organized to help students destress and bond outside of academic pressure. this year, the arts and business departments were grouped to blend creativity and strategy. since you and chaewon were both visual design students, you agreed to be seatmates on the bus. mark and haechan were also coming along because they were music and dance majors, respectively. while it sounded like an excellent opportunity to unwind, you knew it also meant that jeno and karina would be there since they were a part of the department as business and fashion majors.

you haven’t spoken to jeno since your last encounter. you weren’t sure you had the right words to say to him. no one knew of what happened that night, and the guilt was clawing you alive. you contemplated whether to tell chaewon about it. you knew she was going to be by your side, but admitting that you kissed jeno while he was in a relationship with karina was something you didn’t want to say out loud. admitting it would make it real. and making it real meant facing the truth: you kissed someone else’s boyfriend. even if he started it.

the mere thought made you shiver. although jeno was equally responsible for the kiss that he initiated, you wondered if he told anyone about it, if he regretted it, or if he thinks about it as often as you did.

you would be lying to yourself if you said that you had already forgotten about the kiss. the memory of kissing someone you were in love with was not easy to bury. the feeling of his lips on yours haunted you on nights you couldn’t sleep, your heart racing at the faint thought of it.

you found yourself seated in the middle section of the bus. chaewon begged for the window seat, striking a deal to share her stash of snacks in exchange. students gradually filled the bus, mark and haechan seated on the aisle across from you, their banter already filling the air. it wasn’t long before jeno and karina boarded the bus, karina leading jeno with her hand in his. for a brief second, you locked eyes with jeno, whose face was filled with sorrow when he looked at you. you loathed it.

you quickly broke eye contact, but you swore his gaze lingered on you a bit longer. you faced chaewon, who was telling you about her latest boy drama. she noticed that your expression had shifted; she turned her head to see where you were just looking, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw the couple.

“are you and jeno alright?” chaewon whispered, leaning towards you. “don’t think i saw you guys together since the party.” you stiffened. she was right.

chaewon was observant. she knew you too well. she noticed the small things, like how you look for jeno in crowds or how your mood shifts downward when you spot him with karina. it had been two torturous weeks since the party, since you had a secret you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell anyone. two weeks of trying to convince yourself that it didn’t mean anything—when deep down, you knew it meant everything.

and two weeks' worth of unread messages from jeno.

you thought back to the notifications you had stared at countless times, your heart clenching every time his name lit up your screen.

jeno: hey jeno: how are u? jeno: we should really talk jeno: let me know when ure free jeno: i miss u y/n jeno: pls dont ignore me

you had read them all. your fingers hovered over the keyboard countless times, thinking about what to say to him. what were you supposed to say? that you were in love with him? that the kiss meant everything to you while it was probably a drunken mistake for him? that you were drowning in guilt but couldn't help but think about the kiss? you decided that saying nothing would be better, giving you time to gather your thoughts.

but no matter how you tried, jeno was everywhere. in the halls, in your dreams, and now, on this godforsaken bus.

“yeah.” you smiled at chaewon, pulling on her arm so you could nest your head against her shoulder. “i’m just sleepy.”

“my ass hurts.” haechan whined dramatically as you got off the bus. mark chuckled at him while he extended his arms. the ride took three hours and you were all sore from sitting down, eager to stretch your legs. but the view was worth the pain.

the beach house that the council rented was massive. its modern design stands out against the blue ocean and white sand. large glass windows reflected the sun rays, and the sprawling deck held enough space for barbecues and hangouts. off to the side were lounge chairs arranged neatly with umbrellas softening the harsh sunlight. the waves crashing softly against the shore added a soothing background hum, instantly washing away some of your earlier tension.

“alright, everyone!” one of the council—who you recognized was soobin—announced, making heads turn to face him. “we’ll be assigning rooms in fifteen minutes. grab your stuff, and let’s meet in the living room.”

moments later, the group navigated to the now cramped space. you were sure there were at least twenty students in your house, and you wondered if it was enough to fit all of you. the rest are probably in the beach houses next door. the living room buzzed with activity. some familiar faces are scattered around the area; you gave them a polite nod when you met their eyes, thankful that they returned the gesture. you settled for the vacant space on the couch, with chaewon trailing behind you.

“settle down, guys.” soobin cleared his throat. the noise in the room died down, with jisung and chenle the last ones to squeeze into the room. soobin lifted his phone, assuming to read off the names and room assignments. “some already requested to be paired before this trip, so let me tell you which rooms you’ll be in.”

“chaewon and y/n.” soobin called out, head whipping to look for us, nodding once he spotted us. “you’ll be in room 3.”

chaewon let out a tiny clap with her hands, smiling at you brightly, to which you returned the energy. soobin continued announcing the names of the students who would be roomed together. mark and haechan are paired in the room across the hall from yours.

“i know some of you requested to be with your partners, but the school board requires us to separate male and female students.” soobin started, groans echoing throughout the room. “i know, i know. but this will just be for formalities. what you do after lights out is none of our business.” his comment drew waves of laughter and grins.

“jeno and renjun.” he continued, looking around the room. “room 6.”

the sound of his name made your stomach drop, nearly forgot that he was in the same room as you. you tried to keep your expression neutral as your eyes shifted to him, who was leaning against the wall with karina on his side.

“find your rooms and settle in. dinner’s at six. feel free to explore the area until then.” soobin finally finished disclosing information, and everyone hurried off to find their respective rooms.

chaewon led the way to your room, with you trailing behind her, struggling to navigate the vast house with your bags. the weight of your stuff was slowing you down, and you silently cursed yourself for your overpacking tendencies. startled, a pair of hands who obviously saw you struggle helped you carry them. you lifted your head to say thank you, but the words got stuck in your throat when you locked eyes with your rescuer, jeno.

“i could’ve carried them.” you mumbled, watching as he effortlessly carried your bag with one arm, and—you're assuming—his and karina’s bag in another. speaking of, where was she?

“just accept the help.” jeno replied, his tone simple. a wave of emotions washing over you—guilt, confusion, and something you did not want to name. this was the first time you’d talked to him since the incident. “lead the way.” pursing your lips, you ascended the stairs, feeling him trace your steps but not utter a word.

shortly, you found chaewon standing in front of a bedroom door, which you’re guessing is your room. her eyes widened when she saw who was behind you, but you’re thankful she didn’t mention anything.

“i can take it from here.” you told jeno, who nodded. he handed you your bag, his fingers grazing your skin as you retrieved it from his grasp. you don’t know if you were going crazy, but you swore sparks shot out of your entire body from the mere touch of his skin.

get a hold of yourself.

you thought to yourself. you have experienced jeno’s touch before, but why were you acting like a teenage girl who got to hold her crush’s hand for the first time?

you muttered a thank you to jeno before following chaewon, who had already entered the room. but before you could cross the doorway, you felt a hand on your arm. your heart speeded up at the contact. head turning to face him, he opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out.

“can we talk?” jeno asked, his eyebrows twisting in concern. “please?”

“later.” you affirmed, sending him a weak smile. “come over later.”

his lips tugged upward into a tight smile before nodding and walking away to enter his room, which you saw was just a few doors away from yours.

you shut the door behind you once you entered the room, sighing against it. chaewon watched you with worried eyes, and it took everything in you not to admit to her and cry in her arms. still, the weight of her stare told you that she knew something was wrong.

“had a small fight with jeno.” lie. “don’t worry, i’m used to fighting with his ass.” you dryly laughed. you knew she didn’t buy it but decided to let it go, not wanting to pry when you’re obviously not in the mood to talk about it.

you took this time to scan the room. two single beds in the middle of the room with a bedside table separating them. light blue wallpaper covering the wall, the sunlight peeking through the glass windows. and the view showcased the ocean’s beauty, which made you smile. maybe this retreat wouldn’t be so bad after all?

“you look hot!” chaewon complimented as you slipped into denim shorts. you were wearing a light pink two-piece bikini that was enough to prevent public indecency.

haechan texted you, saying that he, mark, and a few other people were hanging by the beach, and of course, you didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to feel the ocean breeze on your skin. you immediately pulled out the bikini you packed for this trip.

“look who's talking!” you giggled, pointing to her black bikini that perfectly hugged her body. “who will be the lucky guy tonight?” you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly, which she just laughed at.

“whoever it will be, i just hope he’s good in bed.” chaewon fake sighed, making you jokingly pat her arm.

the sun was about to set. some students were already grilling dinner to serve to everyone, and some were mingling by the pool. you could not wait to spend time with your friends to take your mind off him.

the two of you left your room and walked down the hall towards the beach. the faint sound of familiar voices filling the air as your toes reached the sand. you spotted mark, whose back was facing you, seated on a camp chair circling a fire. the cool breeze brushing against your skin as you neared them.

“there you guys are!” haechan exclaimed once he spotted you. he patted the empty chair for you to sit next to him, which you did. chaewon sat on the empty one next to yunjin, who was also in your year. you said your greetings to everyone around the fire, thankful that you were familiar with all of them.

the scent of the ocean filled your nose. the sounds of seagulls flying echoed the air. the warmth of the fire dancing on your skin. it felt soothing not to have to think about the stress of academics. however, your solace was cut short when a familiar couple took the spot directly in front of you.

“why don’t we play a game!” jisung, seated beside haechan, suggested, voice cutting through the conversation.

“what are we? twelve?” chenle scoffed, leaning against his chair while taking a sip out of his cup.

jisung smirked, punching him lightly. “come on, live a little, you prude.”

“bet you’re going to suggest tru-“

“truth or dare!” jisung suggested, eyes lighting up mischievously, earning a chorus of groans from the crowd, which you chuckled at.

“i think it’ll be fun!” chaewon chimed in, voice raising as she clapped her hands.

jisung scanned the area, “alright, let’s see!” a finger tapping his chin as he picked his first target. “jeno, truth or dare?” all eyes landed on him, including yours, watching as he contemplated what to choose.

jeno chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “truth.” 

“boring.” jisung groaned but conjured up a question anyway. “who is the prettiest woman in this circle? and it doesn’t have to be your girlfriend!”

“jisung, you’re being weird.” renjun interjected, shaking his head in disapproval.

“what! it’s called truth or dare for a reason.” jisung defended, putting his hands up in defense.

jeno stayed silent for a second before he lifted his head. you swore his eyes lingered on you for too long before uttering his answer. “karina, of course.”

“boo!” jisung chanted, but some were in awe of his loyalty to his girlfriend. karina, who was next to him, jokingly rolled her eyes before kissing jeno on the cheek. you stayed silent, chewing on your bottom lip, trying to avert your gaze from the affectionate display.

“eric!” jisung called out. heads turned to him, who was seated beside you. you followed their gaze to see the handsome male.

“dare.” eric smirked, leaning forward in confidence.

“finally, someone who’s not a pussy.” jisung grinned mischievously, rubbing his hands together. “i dare you to kiss the prettiest woman in this circle.”

“dude, what is your obsession with pretty girls.” you heard mark whisper.

the circle broke into fits of laughter, but what happened next came as a shock to you. eric turned to face you, your eyes widening once you realized what he was asking. the laughter died down as everyone’s attention shifted towards the two of you. his eyes met yours, and your heart began pounding as the realization hit.

“what—” you started, but the words barely left your mouth before eric leaned in. his lips inches away from you, staring into you as if he was silently asking for permission. you froze, not retracting your face away. you gave him a tiny nod of confirmation. he placed a soft kiss on your lips, lingering just a second too long for it to feel innocent.

the group erupted into a mix of cheers, gasps, and whistles.

“my guy didn’t even hesitate!” mark exclaimed, patting eric on the arm. you pulled away from eric, cheeks heating up from the amount of people witnessing the dared kiss.

you didn’t want to, but you couldn’t help but sneak a glance at jeno. his expression was curious, his previous relaxed demeanor replaced by something you couldn’t understand, making you wonder if it was because of you.

eric leaned back into his seat, a cheeky grin on his lips. “sorry if it was too forward.”

you let out a small laugh, brushing it off. “it’s fine.” tucking a strand of hair behind your ears.

“moving on!” jisung announced, “renjun, truth or dare?”

jisung’s words faded away as your attention averted to something—someone—else. from the corner of your eye, jeno’s gaze was flickering between you and eric, his jaw clenching as he gripped the red plastic cup in his hand.

haechan leaned to you, mouth near your ear. “think that’s because of you?” he whispered as if he read your mind. he was always the one to tease you about your feelings for jeno.

“don’t be absurd.” you glared at him, pushing him away, but he only laughed. but deep inside, your thoughts were all over the place, with jeno’s reaction lingering in the back of your head, making things feel infinitely more complicated.

a knock on your door pulled you out of your trance. you decided to head back to your room, leaving the group behind to catch up on some well-deserved sleep. you were feeling overwhelmed with the social interaction you had to go through today, quietly slipping yourself away from haechan’s coercion of trying to make you stay longer. not to mention it seems like jeno and karina were getting heated up from the amount of affection they were displaying. you did not want to stick around when things escalated.

curious, you stood from the bed and gripped the doorknob before turning it and opening the door.

“hey.” jeno greeted, a sheepish smile on his face.

the wind was knocked out of you. you forgot you asked him to come over, seeing him in front of you made you nervous.

“jeno.” you breathed, .

“can i come in?” red exclamation marks were clouding your vision, but you shook them off, pulling the door wider so he could pass through.

jeno stayed silent as he entered your room, eyes wandering around the place for a second before facing you. you were almost certain you felt deja vu by your current positions.

“i wish you would stop avoiding me.” jeno started, “i know what i did was uncalled for, but i—it was—“

“did you tell her?” you interrupted, voice sounding sharper than you intended.

“i—no.”

“jeno.” you glared at him.

“i know! i feel so fucking guilty about it, too, okay? but i—“ jeno took a step forward to you. “have a lot in my head.”

“imagine how i feel!” you shot back, voice jumping an octave. “i made out with someone else’s boyfriend.” you whispered the last part as the weight of your words sank in.

“fuck, y/n. it’s not easy for me either.” his eyes were trained on you with an expression plastered on his face that you couldn’t quite understand.

“what are you saying?” frustration lacing your voice.

jeno thought for a second, letting the silence fill the air as he racked his mind of what to say. “do you like eric?”

“what? no!” you replied instantly to his ridiculous question. why does he even care if you had feelings for eric?

“does he kiss better than me?”

“are you insane?” you spat. “are you literally joking about this right now?”

“i’m not joking.” jeno inched closer to you. your heart racing once his scent reached your nose, his warmth radiating off his body. “does he?”

thoughts clouded your mind. why would he even care if eric was a good kisser? he had karina. a girlfriend who he had been with for years. “i’m not answering that.” you shook your head, crossing your arms across your chest in an attempt to build a wall between the two of you.

“i want to kiss you again.”

“what?” your knees grew weak at his confession. staring at him as if he had three heads. was he hearing himself right now?

“can i?” jeno grabbed your arms, making them uncross from your previous stance. so much for building a wall. “kiss you…” he dropped his grip from your arms, caressing your cheek with his hand. “again?” his thumb sliding down just enough to reach your lips.

“jeno…” you begged, almost sounding like a whimper.

“just… one more time, please?” he pleaded, gaze dropping to your lips. you didn’t miss the way he licked his lips before flickering his eyes back to meet yours.

“this is wrong.” you whispered, voice unsteady. your words contradict your actions.

“i know.” his breath fanned your face. “but i can’t stop thinking about our kiss.” his lips dangerously close to yours. the weight of his confession sending you into a spiral. “tell me to leave.”

you stayed silent. the words hung in the air, heavy with anticipation. the internal battle inside you faltered as you slowly caved in. you slightly shook your head no, and that was all he needed.

jeno kissed you like he had been waiting his whole life for it. you reciprocated his energy, arms flying around his neck to tug him closer to you. his arms wrapping around your waist to pull your body against him. you whimpered against his lips when you felt his cock hardening, just by your mere.

“fuck.” jeno whispered, hands cupping your face as he pulled away from your lips. “i need you so bad.” desperation lacing his voice.

“w-what?” you froze, not expecting things to escalate so quickly. “jeno, kari-”

“she’s mad at me.” oh. “told me not to bother looking for her tonight.” his expression turned sour from mentioning her girlfriend. odd.

your heart raced. is that why he was here? to look for release?

as if he read your mind, he was quick to respond. “you’re not a placeholder for her, y/n.” this was the first lie jeno told you. “i’m here for you.” he reassured.

jeno leaned in and kissed you again, the kiss soft and filled with need. your mind is still on the fence about the entire situation, but by the simple “please?” he uttered, your walls came crashing down. it felt like you two were the only people on earth.

one thing led to another; you found yourself laying on the mattress with jeno in between your legs. his lips on yours as he kissed you hungrily, his hands playing with the hem of your shirt. he pulled away from you, looking at you for confirmation before you nodded. he slipped the shirt off your frame, eyes roaming your bra-clad body the second you were exposed.

feeling vulnerable beneath his gaze, you moved to cover yourself, but his grip on your arms prevented you from doing so.

“don’t.” he muttered, leaning down to place a kiss on your chest. “beautiful.” his hand snaked behind your back, his fingers grazing the clasp of your bra. “can i?”

you nodded, and in a swift motion, the clothing fell down your chest. your heart speeding up as his fingers trailed from your back to just below your breast. he looked into your eyes for any signs of doubt, but you didn’t provide any. you needed him badly.

you reached for his shirt, tugging it as a sign. he noticed the signal and pulled away from you, lifting his shirt off his body. your eyes shamelessly traveling down his toned chest, feeling a wave of heat forming between your legs. damn his addiction to working out.

“you can touch me, you know.” jeno chuckled once he saw your mouth slightly part at the sight. you took his words as a sign to caress his chest, down to his abs and just above his abdomen, making him groan. “didn’t know you’d be such a tease.”

“shut up.” you mumbled, hands playing with the buttons of his jeans. “i’m taking my time.” you admired his body; after all, you had only been dreaming of this moment.

“oh?” jeno teased, grabbing you by the thighs and pulling you down so your core was close to his crotch, making you gasp. “well, i need you now.” he whispered before attaching his lips to yours, hand reaching up to your breast to knead the skin, making you moan against his mouth. his free hand reached in between your bodies to cup your core, the wetness seeping through as he gently rubbed up and down.

his cock growing against your core, feeling your body heat rise at the sensation. his fingers hooked the waistband of your shorts before sliding them down your legs, leaving you completely exposed.

in an abrupt motion, jeno took off his pants and boxers. his cock springing against his abdomen, the head red and precum spilling from the tip. you licked your lips before reaching to pump his cock. he was so big and thick, better than you could ever imagine.

“fuck.” jeno grunted against your touch, hips bucking to meet your hands. “i-i don’t have any condoms.”

“just pull out, i trust you.” you bit your lip. “and i’m on the pill if that helps.”

“why didn’t you start with that?” jeno replaced your hand with his. aligning his length with your entrance. spreading your wetness with the head of his cock.

you whimpered at the sensation before he slowly pushed into you. muted gasps leaving your lips,  mouth falling agape as you grew accustomed to his size.

“shit—“ jeno’s hands fell to your hips, gripping on the skin. “you’re so tight.” he said, fully burying himself into you. your insides were burning from the lack of foreplay, but you didn’t care; you wanted him—needed him—before he slipped out of your grasp again. tears pricked your eyes as he adjusted himself. he stayed still, waiting for any confirmation from you. “i know, i know.” he muttered, pressing a kiss on your forehead once he saw your pained expression. “it’ll feel better, i promise.”

a few moments later, you tapped his thigh as a signal. he carefully moved his hips, slowly thrusting out before fully pushing in again. once you got used to his movements, moans spilled from your lips. he took this as a sign to increase his speed.

“god—“ you cried out, hands gripping the sheets beneath you. “jeno!”

his hands reached for your breasts, massaging them while simultaneously playing with your nipples. your back arched against the mattress when his fingers circled the sensitive buds.

your hips bucked up in an attempt to meet his thrusts, making him pick up the pace even more. “so good for me.” he praised, making your head dizzy. his lips find your neck, sucking and licking on the skin.

lewd sounds escaping your lips from his actions. your hand flew to grip his hair, tugging it lightly, making him grunt. the familiar knot forming in your stomach as he picked up his pace. your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, the new position allowing him to bury his cock even deeper.

you cursed out his name as his tip perfectly hit the spot that drove you insane. “f-fuck.” you managed to let out. hands falling to his shoulder, fingernails slightly digging into his skin.

sweat trickled down jeno’s forehead as he pulled away from your neck. his eyes trained on you—his best friend—as you took his cock.

“are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” jeno grunted, watching your breasts bounce from his every thrust. he licked his lips at the sight.

you nodded, biting on your lip. “god—yes!”

jeno slipped his hand in between your bodies, fingers finding your clit. he circled the sensitive nerve, adding even more pleasure, making you near your orgasm even more.

“come on, baby.” jeno whispered, lips capturing yours. “cum for me.”

you clenched around him. your release begging to be freed, with a few more thrusts from him. you came crashing down on his cock. moaning loudly as you chased your high. you were thankful that almost everyone was busy getting drunk on the beach.

“oh my fucking god.” jeno groaned, watching as you squirmed beneath him. your back arching, giving him a perfect view of your tits. and soon enough, his orgasm hit him; he quickly pulled out, spilling his cum all over your stomach.

you lay there breathless, chest heaving as you recovered from your high. jeno pulled his body away from you, walking into the connected bathroom before coming back with a roll of tissue. he peeled a fair amount before rushing to wipe his cum all over you.

you giggled when his hands reached your sides, feeling ticklish. you watched him clean you up, and suddenly, reality came crashing in.

you just fucked someone else’s boyfriend. the air suddenly felt tight as jeno trashed the dirty tissues. he reached for his pants, slipped them on before reaching for your clothes, and placed them near you.

“oh my god.” you whispered as your realization kicked in. your hands reaching for the covers to hide away from him somehow.

“what’s wrong?” jeno asked, brows furrowed as he watched you try to scramble away from him.

“jeno, we just fucked.” you reminded him, reaching for your shirt to cover yourself up.

“we’ve literally known each other for years, y/n. i don’t think now’s the time for you to be shy.” he chuckled, slipping his shirt on.

“that’s not—jeno, what about karina?”

jeno froze, expression twisting into worry at the mention of his girlfriend’s name, but he quickly shook it off, masking his unease. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of it.” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with you. his words felt empty, a hollow reassurance that only deepened the pit in your stomach. you weren’t exactly sure what he was promising—what was he going to take care of? “i can’t stay here tonight.” he moved closer to the doom “i’ll see you soon?” his hand lingered on the doorway, finally fixing his gaze on you.

then it hit you like you were punched in the gut, and it all made sense now. you weren’t sure if jeno was here to patch things up with you or dig a hole even deeper, but given your past activity, you could only guess he made the decision for the latter. jeno was just here for a quick release. and who better to turn to rather than his best friend—the one he knew would always bend over backward for him?

you sat there, unable to move. you were equally to blame. you had let this happen. you let yourself fall down his trap, even though warning signs blared in your mind. you let yourself believe that he was capable of having feelings for you beyond friendship.

“right,” you nodded curtly, voice barely audible. “see you.”

jeno hesitated for a second, “don’t be a stranger, okay?” he said before slipping out the door. the soft click of its closing was deafening, and the silence that followed felt suffocating.

your gaze stilled on the door. his presence still lingering at the back of your head. he said he couldn’t stay, but you wondered if he wanted to. or were you just a convenient distraction, someone to make him feel grounded while he sorted his mess with karina?

tears welled in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away. chaewon could be coming in any second—quite grateful that she didn’t when jeno was balls deep in you—and you refused to show any vulnerability, not when it comes to him. not this time, you couldn’t keep doing this—not to him, or karina, and definitely not to yourself.

your little secret was eating you alive.

here you sat, curled up on the couch in the living room of your shared apartment with chaewon. it was one of those rare nights when you and your friends—chaewon, mark, haechan, and jeno (when he wasn’t busy quarreling with karina)—could indulge in your movie night tradition.

the aroma of buttered popcorn filled the air, and a pile of blankets and pillows was scattered around the room. you were seated on the loveseat couch with chaewon beside you, her legs resting on your lap. mark and haechan were below you, sitting on the air mattress you had put out specifically for this night. and jeno splayed himself on the comfortable armchair. the tv illuminated the room as the opening credits of a classic rom-com played, but you were barely paying attention. how could you? your mind was floating, caught in a web of guilt.

after the encounter you had with jeno, you were convinced he was going to do the right thing—either end things with karina or at least come clean about what happened. but alas, you heard that he somehow made up with her, leaving you wondering and confused.

you felt used. it wasn’t that you expected he would ditch karina and be with you; you weren’t that naive. you simply hoped it would be the start of shifting your relationship—if you could even call it that—with jeno. but instead, he was still hesitant about crossing the line from friends.

jeno was within your peripheral vision, laughing at the comment mark had said about the movie. the sound of his voice made your stomach feel uneasy. he seemed so unbothered, so perfect and fine, yet you felt like you were drowning from the weight of what the two of you shared. it felt unfair.

you couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone, not chaewon, not mark. you were carrying the burden alone. but jeno’s every glance at you made your body feel like it was under a spotlight.

it didn’t help that you hadn’t spoken to jeno about it. granted, you were both busy with university and this was the first time you’d been in the same room as him since the trip. talking through the phone just doesn’t seem enough for the weight of your conversation.

“why are you so quiet tonight?” chaewon asked, munching on popcorn. “you okay?”

“of course!” you shot her a smile, reaching for the bowl she had with her and popping some popcorn in your mouth. “just really wanted to watch this movie.” you lied, hoping she wouldn’t see right through you. she believed you, dropping the subject.

if only you could bury the truth as easily as you buried your feelings.

from the corner of your eye, you knew that jeno tuned in to the brief conversation, his expression dropping from the tone of your voice.

the movie continued. the comedic skits drew laughter from mark and haechan. chaewon lets out squeals whenever the main lead does something romantic. despite the bubbly atmosphere, you couldn’t fully immerse yourself in the group. you sneaked another glance towards jeno, whose gaze was directed to his phone.

his screen lit up, indicating a notification, and his fingers hovered over the keyboard. the soft glow gave you enough light to see his jaw tense slightly. you didn’t even have to think for a second that the text had come from karina. you felt foolish for somehow believing him when he said he would take care of it. 

jeno stood up abruptly, drawing everyone’s attention. “i—uh have to go.” he announced, pocketing his phone and reaching for his jacket.

“what? i thought we were having a sleepover!” haechan whined, tossing a piece of popcorn in his direction.

“yeah, dude, the movie was just about to get interesting.” mark chimed in, his eyes darting to the screen, making sure not to miss a scene.

jeno could only muster a chuckle. “sorry, something came up. it’s, uh, family stuff.” he lied through his teeth. his eyes avoided yours no matter how intent you were staring at him, which alone was enough to confirm your suspicion.

why did he lie about seeing karina?

“everything okay?” chaewon asked, concern dripping from her tone.

“oh yeah, nothing serious. they just need my help with something.” jeno assured, enough to not worry anyone.

you stayed silent, watching as he lied about his whereabouts. you merely nodded at his words, not having the right words to say. they all bid their goodbyes, and you managed to utter a tiny “bye” to his departure. you swore he turned back one last time before leaving, not to look at the group but to look at you. the look on his face was unreadable, and you hated how you couldn’t see right through him.

once jeno left, everyone returned their attention to the movie. your chest felt much lighter by his absence, but once you thought about where or who he was going to, you felt a commotion stir inside you.

“how’s it going with you and jeno?” mark casually asked, making you panic. worried that you might have let something slip.

“what do you mean?”

“figured out how to get over that crush of yours?” oh. chaewon and haechan’s ears perked up, looking at you for confirmation.

“i’m trying.” you kept your answer curt, shrinking into the cushions, trying to avoid the discussion.

“you know, i have this friend, and i think he’d be perfect for you.” mark started, head turning to face you, a mischievous smirk plastered on his lips. “good looking, smart, studying for his medical degree, loves cats.” he listed, trying to make his friend sound as attractive as possible.

“what? are you trying to set me up on a blind date?” you raised your brow at him, which he only sheepishly smiled at.

“well, technically, it’s not blind, i have a feeling you’ve seen him around.”

“please! this is exactly what you need.” chaewon chimed in, nudging your body.

“i don’t know…” you trailed off hesitantly.

“why not?” haechan jumped in. “it’s not like you have anything to lose, right? and besides, it’ll be fun.”

“and it will be a good distraction from you-know-who.” chaewon chipped in.

they were all looking you, waiting for your response. you paused, contemplating their suggestion.

they were right. you had to stop considering Jeno in all your decisions. especially after tonight when he so painfully cannot let go of her even after your moment with him. it was clear where you stand in jeno’s life—his best friend who he had slept with. going on a date with a handsome stranger did spark something within you.

“fine.” you sighed, making them cheer. mark already reached for his phone. “don’t make me regret this.”

as excitement filled the room, you couldn’t help but be thankful that your friends were helping you keep your mind off of jeno. maybe this distraction was precisely what you needed.

you fixed your hair in the mirror's reflection one last time before heading out. today was your date with mark’s friend, jaemin. his name sounded oddly familiar to you, but you couldn’t pinpoint where you heard it. you figured it was a common name around the city, so you brushed it off.

to say you were not nervous would be a lie. your heart beat against your chest as you waited for the knock on your door. mark sent you jaemin’s number so you could set up the details yourselves. you’ve briefly exchanged conversations with the mystery guy, and you found out he was in the same year you were at university. it made you wonder if you had crossed paths with him.

jaemin persistently insisted that he come to pick you up at your place, claiming he is a gentleman. which was a massive check in your book, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. it was charming and refreshing. so here you were in a white silky long-sleeve dress that stopped mid-thigh, stocking on, and nice cute heels to go along with the outfit. he had told you to dress not too fancy but not too casual either, and you figured this was the best you could come up with.

moments later, the inevitable knock on your door came. you smoothed out the fabric of your dress before approaching the door.

“hi–” you pulled the door open and faced him, the wind knocking out of your body once you laid eyes on him.

jaemin was gorgeous. his black hair falling in the most perfect way possible. he was dressed in a black shirt that peeked through his jacket, paired with dark denim jeans. he emitted a calm, understated confidence that made your stomach flutter and your cheeks warm.

“hey.” jaemin greeted you, a smile on his lips, his voice warm and comforting. “you look—wow, stunning.” he breathed, feeling shy beneath his gaze.

“hi, jaemin.” you replied, returning his grin. “thank you. you’re not so bad yourself.”

jaemin chuckled, holding out his arm in a cheesy way. “shall we, m’lady?”

“oh god.” you covered your face with your hands.

“i’m kidding.” jaemin reached out to pull your arms away. “come on.” he slipped his grip from your arms to your hands, locking his fingers with yours. a bold move, but you liked it.

jaemin opened the car door for you. you silently thanked him as you slipped into the passenger seat. he closed the door gently before jogging to the driver's side.

“so,” jaemin spoke once he started the car. you turned to face him. “are you nervous?” a hint of playfulness in his eyes.

you couldn’t help but laugh at his question. “kinda.” you admitted.

“good, that makes the two of us.”

the car ride was surprisingly comfortable. the small talk flowed easily, revealing more of his sweet and kind nature. you noticed how he drove the perfect speed to not make you nauseous, how he would avoid the potholes in the street so the ride wouldn’t be bumpy. you were hoping this entire night would keep your mind off the chaos you tried to bury.

he pulled up to a restaurant that was part of town that you were unsure if you’d been to before. the minimal but sophisticated signage illuminated the name that you were sure you couldn’t pronounce.

jaemin didn’t forget to open your car door for you once again. his hand resting on the small of your back as he navigated the both of you through the dimly lit restaurant. fancy. he gave his last name to the host before you were both assisted to your seats. as you followed the steps of your waiter, a familiar laughter erupting in the air made you stop in your tracks

no. it couldn’t be.

“jeno!” jaemin greeted the young man. jeno turned his head as he heard his name called, and his familiar eye smile made its way to his face once he saw jaemin. but his expression quickly faltered when he saw you were next to him. when did this happen? he wondered.

across from jeno was—you already guessed it—karina, who was slicing through her steak, unbothered by the newly arrived presence.

blood raced through your head, feeling dizzy when the two men exchanged greetings and surprisedness. of course, that was why jaemin was so familiar, he was jeno’s roommate! you have only been to jeno’s apartment a few times, and he told you that he had a roommate who was busy with his medical degree, so he always opted to hang out at your place. you never would’ve imagined that he was the same jaemin that lived with jeno. you silently cursed mark and his conniving ways; he probably set this up on purpose, too.

you stood still, watching the scene before you unfold. the air suddenly felt tight as the waiter pointed to the two vacant seats directly beside jeno and karina. ringing noise infiltrated your ears as jaemin smiled and pulled out the chair for you to sit in.

“can—are there any other seats?” you asked the waiter. this time, karina dropped her utensils at the familiar voice, her brow raising at the sight of you. “i just—it’s too hot in here.” you stammered, gripping the back of your chair.

the scene in front of you felt like a cruel twist of fate. the universe couldn’t have planned this better if it had tried. out of all the restaurants in the city, you just had to end up here. with jeno. and karina. together. on the night that you were supposed to forget said people.

“are you okay?” jaemin was quick to your side, worry plastered on his face. his genuineness added to the heaviness of your chest. you sent him a weak smile, brushing off his worries.

“i’m sorry, miss.” the waiter said apologetically, bowing his head lightly. “we are fully booked tonight.” you pursed your lips, nodding at him.

the last thing you wanted was to sit through an awkward dinner with jeno within your eyes and earshot while his girlfriend smugly sat mere inches beside you, completely unaware of what happened between you and jeno. but you couldn’t let jaemin’s effort go to waste. you fixed your posture, grabbing jaemin’s outstretched hand that was waiting for you, and you sat on the chair he pulled out for you.

you couldn’t help it; you hesitantly glanced at jeno, whose gaze was intent on you, jaw almost clenching at your presence. swallowing hard, you lifted the menu to cover your face from his intense stare, questioning what you had done to deserve this.

somehow, jaemin couldn’t sense the tension between you and his roommate. he talked to you with a sweet smile, but you could barely register his words because you kept zoning his words out due to the presence next to him.

“oh! have i told you that this guy,” jaemin pointed his thumb to jeno who suddenly turned to look at him. “is my roommate! what a small world.” he chuckled.

your stomach dropped. of course, he had to bring it up. you chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating whether you should mention the nature of your relationship with jeno.

karina, who overheard your conversation, snickered before chiming in. “of course, she would know, silly! she’s jeno’s best friend.”

“wait, what?” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, gaze flicking from you to jeno. “you two know each other?” he questioned.

“yeah.” you forced a tight lip smile, feeling the heat creep up your neck. “we’ve known each other since we were kids.”

“wait, so you’re y/n—jeno’s y/n?” you winced at his words, hating how you were addressed. he wasn’t yours, and you certainly weren’t his. “oh my god, how didn’t i connect the dots sooner.” he mumbled, more to himself, still surprised by the proximity of relationships.

jeno let out a dry chuckle at his reaction, trying to mask his stern expression. the room suddenly felt hot. you reached for the glass of water and sipped it in the cool liquid to neutralize your throat.

“this makes tonight even better! no first-date awkwardness since you’re practically family with jeno.”

you choked on the water, the liquid spilling from your lips as you coughed, making jaemin’s eyes widen. people started to stare, but jaemin was already rushing to your side to help wipe the spilled water. out of the corner of your eye, you noticed jeno slightly twitch as if he wanted to offer some help but restrained himself, letting jaemin do the work. his jaw was tight; his lips were pressed into a thin line.

you wanted to crawl under the table. family? the word felt like a bucket of ice being poured down your body—literally. the word was laughable, given everything that happened between you and jeno. 

jeno tried to peel his eyes away as jaemin’s hands roamed your body. averting his gaze to karina, his lovely girlfriend. he reminded himself.

once jaemin made sure you were okay, you thanked him, and he returned to his seat, apologizing to the other tables bothered by your sudden outburst. cheeks heating up when you realize a lot of people were witnesses to your clumsiness.

the food you ordered shortly arrived. the smell of freshly cooked meat and pasta filling the air, you hadn’t realized how hungry you were until the plates were set up in front of you. the meal provided a much-needed distraction, and the night seemed to flow more smoothly for a while. jeno finally fixed his gaze to fixate on his date, and you were paying attention to yours.

“hm, what are your pet peeves?” jaemin asked, taking a bite of his food.

you paused for a second, profoundly considering his question. “i hate liars.” you blurted out. you didn’t miss the way jeno’s hand froze mid-way into feeding the spoon into his mouth. “i hate when people tell me they’ll do something or take care of something for me but end up not keeping their end of the bargain.” you kept your tone casual. still, you knew you got the message across—even to the table beside you.

jaemin nodded along. “yeah, i get that.” his tone was empathetic. “it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t follow through. makes them seem untrustworthy.” 

you smiled at him, grateful that he shared the same views as you. you stole a quick glance at jeno, whose gaze was fixed on the plate on the table, but his hand was nearly turning red from his grip on the utensil. karina, who seemed confused by his sudden behavior, reached out to grab his hand in hers, making jeno look up and let out a sigh—you don’t know whether it was one of contentment or annoyance.

“please excuse me, i need to run to the bathroom real quick.” you mumbled to jaemin, flashing him a small smile as you slid your chair back. he nodded, returning a gentle smile, averting his attention to his phone while he waited for you to return.

jeno heard your excuse, eyes scanning karina who was too busy consuming her dessert before flickering to you who disappeared into the hallway that lead to the restroom.

without much thought, jeno impulsively excused himself from karina, muttering something about needing to wash his hands.

you leaned against the bathroom sink, sighing to yourself before running the cold water over your hands to somehow calm your nerves. jeno was confusing you. you hated not knowing what he was thinking, not having control over the situation. you didn’t have it in you to actually talk to jeno about the previous events. you were afraid of hearing the truth—that he chose her, like he did over and over again.

the sound of the bathroom door creaking open brought you to your senses. you glanced in the mirror, expecting another customer, your heart skipping when you saw jeno standing there, his expression unreadable.

“jeno? what are you doing here?” you whispered, eyes wide as you realized he’s in the women’s bathroom.

“jaemin, really?” jeno snorted, face contorting into anger? annoyance? you couldn’t tell, in fact you were confused as to why he was acting out of proportion. “out of all the people, you chose my friend?”

“i didn’t know he was your friend.” you defended, frowning at his accusation. “and why do you care?” you prodded, trying to grasp the situation.

“i don't.” jeno shot back. “as your friend,” he said, as if the word was laced with venom. “i’m just looking out for you. jaemin’s very busy with his degree and i doubt he has time to settle down.”

you couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. “that’s rich coming from you.” you spat. “and friend? really? friends don’t do what we did, jeno.” you angrily whispered the last part, cautious of the people around.

jeno lightly flinched at your words, the sentence hanging heavy in the air. you sighed, getting ready to walk past him but he caught your arm before you could leave.

“i’m sorry.” jeno mumbled, regret evident in his eyes.

you shook your head, the lump in your throat threatening to be released. “just go back to her, jeno. isn’t that what you’re best at?” you pushed past him, shoulders brushing against one another, leaving jeno alone in the bathroom.

jaemin drove you back to your apartment. jeno and karina had left moments before you did, allowing you to let out a sigh of relief as soon as they were gone. you offered to pay for half the meal, but jaemin insisted on covering it, even sneaking in a small “you cover it next time,” accompanied by a wink that made your heart flutter.

jaemin was perfect. he lived up to mark’s description of him—kind, sweet, and painfully handsome. you’ve caught yourself staring at his face down to his lips more times than you cared to admit. there were even moments when your eyes drifted to his biceps when he shrugged his jacket off.

but somehow, deep inside, your mind stubbornly drifted back to the one person you wanted nothing more than to forget. seeing jeno witness you on a date to sparked a sense of satisfaction within you—a small win to prove to him (and maybe even yourself) that you were capable of forgetting that night. but the truth lingered in the back of your mind: you hadn’t. the little encounter you had with him also etched in your mind, still wondering what the meaning of all of it was. that night replayed over and over, making it impossible to let go. you convinced yourself that you didn’t care that he was still with karina, but it was like a fever burning you alive. every time you saw her, the weight of your actions dragged you down. you slept with her boyfriend, and no self-justification could erase the betrayal that you had inflicted. you weren’t sure if you could ever forgive yourself for it.

jaemin seemed quieter on the drive home, and you wondered if you ticked him off. he barely spared you a glance, and it made you even more nervous.

did he not enjoy the date? had you done something to upset him?

as he pulled up to your apartment, you beat him to open your door for you, wanting to escape the suffocating confines of the vehicle.

“hey, y/n.” jaemin called out when you barely glanced in his direction, directly jogging to your apartment entrance. you froze in your spot, barely entering your complex when he caught up to you. he stopped in front of you, his frame towering over yours beneath the moon's soft glow.

“did i do anything wrong?” you blurted out, avoiding eye contact with him.

“what? no.” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head, sincerity dripping from his voice. “i was just thinking about how much i wanna kiss you tonight… but i didn’t want to scare you off.” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

the anxiety and tension within your body dissipated from his mere confession. you blinked up at him, processing his words. the knot in your stomach unraveled, and you felt foolish for jumping to the worst conclusion.

jaemin took a step closer, his warmth engulfing you. he lifted his hand, fingers gently tucking the loose strand of hair behind your ear. the soft touch sent a flutter through your body, instinctively leaning against his touch.

“can i?” he asked softly, voice so tender it was enough to make you melt.

you nodded, unable to find the words.

jaemin leaned in, your eyes falling shut as he minimized the distance between you. when his lips finally met yours, it was soft and gentle. his hand cupping your cheek while his other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling your body flush against his so that you were chest-to-chest.

his kiss wasn’t rushed and overwhelming—it was perfect as if he was savoring every moment.

he pulled away, lips mere inches from yours as you both caught your breaths. “i’ve been wanting to do that all night.”

you giggled at his confession, cheeks burning as you met his eyes. you placed your palms against his chest, fingers tapping. “i’m glad you did.”

jaemin grinned at you, his thumb caressing your cheek. “good.” he said softly. “because i’d like to do it again sometime.”

your lips parted to respond, but he placed a quick but affectionate kiss on your forehead before you could. a small gesture, but it made your knees weak.

“goodnight, y/n.” he mumbled, stepping away from you with a small wave.

“goodnight, jaemin.” you replied, smiling at him.

with one last glance, he turned and walked back to his car, leaving you with a smile you couldn’t seem to wipe away.

“tell me everything!” chaewon’s voice echoed throughout the apartment the second you stepped foot in it. you laughed as she almost tripped, making her way to you. she grabbed your hands, shaking them excitedly. “well?” she questioned, voice jumping an octave. “was he nice? handsome? did you kiss?” she gasped, hand covering her mouth. “did you fuck?”

“chaewon!” you playfully scolded her, as she guided you to the couch. her knees tucked beneath her as she looked at you with wide eyes, waiting for you to fill her on what happened.

you took a deep breath before you disclosed everything that had happened that evening. how jaemin was a perfect guy—not forgetting to mention how handsome he is—and how jeno and karina were at the restaurant you were at, deciding to leave out your encounter with jeno in the bathroom.

“what, what?” chaewon exclaimed, “they were there? out of all places jaemin could’ve taken you to?” she tried to suppress her laughter, but you saw how amused she was by your revelation.

“i know.” you groaned, letting your body fall on the sofa, head landing on her lap. “i’m convinced the universe hates me.” you covered your face with your hands.

“how did you feel?” chaewon asked, patting your head that was laid down on her lap. “when you saw jeno and karina together?”

you pondered for a second. how did you feel? there was a mix of emotions that coursed through you—guilt, anxiety, jealousy, anger. everything felt so different. jeno is—or was—your best friend. whenever you two argued, it could usually be resolved over a shared tub of ice cream, but this situation felt far beyond the reach of simple, sweet solutions.

​​no one knew about what happened that night, and it seemed like he had no intention of telling anyone either. you were equally guilty, of course, having taken part in such a scandalous act. but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak the truth aloud.

“i don’t know.” you mumbled, pulling your hands away. “i told myself before that i’ve accepted it, that he will never like me, but…” you trailed off, contemplating whether you should tell her to truth or just keep it to yourself a little longer. “but i have got to stop lying myself. i’m losing my goddamn mind because of him.” she nodded to your words. “it’s just so hard to pretend that he’s just my friend, chae.” a tear slipped from your eye, and she immediately reached to wipe it off.

chaewon stayed silent, still gently brushing your hair. “it’s okay.” she comforted, flashing you a soft smile. “you can’t just flip a switch and stop caring about someone who’s been such a big part of your life.”

her words struck like a chord. you blinked at her, sighing. “i just thought it would be easier as time passed by.” this time, you couldn’t stop the tears that gushed. you hadn’t realized how much you’ve been carrying alone. it was too much. you needed to clear your head.

“you’re not alone in this, okay? you’ve got me, mark, haechan, and now… even jaemin.” she wiggled her eyebrows, a teasing smile on her lips.

a small laugh escaped you despite the tears. “jaemin.” you repeated, the thought of him momentarily bringing you joy.

“excatly! and from what you told me, he sounds like a dream.” chaewon’s excitement bubbled up again. “now tell me more about him!”

the front door opened and shut, making jeno stand from his bed and walk out to the living room. jaemin was setting his keys down on the counter while shrugging his jacket off when he spotted jeno.

“hey, jeno.” jaemin greeted, smiling at him. “tonight was crazy! i didn’t even know she was the same y/n you told me about.” he recalled, heart feeling warm at the thought of you.

“yeah,” jeno replied gruffly, “so listen,” he started, making jaemin turn to him, listening intently. “y/n’s… my best friend, and i wouldn’t want anything—or anyone to hurt her, you know?” he threaded lightly, careful not to show too much emotion, but enough to get the message across. he knew he had no right to tell you who to date but something about seeing you with jaemin stirred something within him and he didn’t know if he wants to find out.

jeno couldn’t bring himself to admit it. he had been avoiding you as much as you were to him. he couldn’t face the consequences of his actions. this was unlike him. he didn’t mean to lie to his girlfriend—didn’t mean to lie to you. when he told you he was going to fix it, he thought he could get it over with karina. he saw you in the back of his mind every time he closed his eyes. he remembers the soft feeling of your lips against him or how your bodies were pressed up against one another. he felt like shit, having all these thoughts about a girl—his best friend—while he had a girlfriend. but something tugged at his heart, the sight of her brought him back to reality, grounding him.

how could he trade what he had for something uncertain?

jeno loved karina. he. loved. her. so he convinced himself. she was perfect—beautiful, confident, and everything he thought he wanted. he felt a pang of guilt every time he kissed her, every time he touched her. how could he hurt the woman he claimed he loved?

so why did the thought of jaemin kissing you make him feel like he was losing something he never realized he wanted?

jaemin raised a brow but nodded anyway. “of course, man. i like her. i wouldn’t do anything to mess this up.”

all jeno could do was nod, although the weight never left his chest. “thanks, jaem, that’s all i needed to hear.” he forced a smile before retreating back to his room.

your laughter echoing through the hall made jeno freeze. what were you doing here? he thought to himself. he curiously opened his bedroom door, trying to eavesdrop.

“sorry, it’s a bit of a mess. i haven’t had time to clean up.” jaemin nervously laughed, trying to chuck away any trash or mess lying around.

you giggled at his nervousness, “it’s fine, jaemin.”

you were here for jaemin, of course. jeno scoffed, shutting his door to try and drown out the noise.

it had been a week since your first date with jaemin, and the two of you had been texting constantly the minute you parted ways. to say he was great would be an understatement—he was perfect. he knew exactly what to say to sweep you off your feet, leaving you smiling and giggling at your phone more often than you’d like to admit. however, as much as jaemin was perfect, your heart had a way of tugging at you, persistently reminding you of the one person you were trying so hard to erase from your mind.

jaemin invited you over to his—and jeno’s—apartment. you were weary of accepting his invitation at first, not wanting to invade jeno’s space, especially after your encounter with him. but jaemin seemed so excited to see you again, and despite everything, you were, too. you decided not to let jeno affect your relationship with jaemin.

you took a seat on the far end of the couch while jaemin sat on the opposite. he shot you a funny look before patting over to the space beside him. “why are you so far?”

you were as nervous as him. you hadn’t been alone with a boy—other than jeno, mark, or haechan—in so long you weren’t sure if you could contain yourself. after all, you are still a very hormonal girl.

“no reason.” you mumbled, but your expression failed you. you were getting goosebumps with the simple chill of the air. jaemin chuckled, deciding to slide over to your side instead. your thighs touching from his sudden proximity.

“you’re cute.” jaemin muttered, his hand moving to brush the stray hair that fell on your face.

“are you sure jeno doesn’t mind that i’m here?” you questioned, facing jaemin.

“you’re literally best friends, i know he doesn’t mind.” he smirked, eyes falling to your lips.

oh, but jeno minded. he minded a lot. it wasn’t his fault that the walls in this apartment were thin. your voices pierced through, hearing your every word, every laugh. his chest tightening with something he couldn’t quite place his finger on—guilt? frustration? jealousy? all he knew was that hearing you with jaemin felt like a knife twisting deeper with every passing second.

“you’re so beautiful.” jaemin mumbled, licking his lips. you placed your hands on his chest, tugging the collar of his shirt slightly closer to you. his breath fanned your face as he inched closer to you. “just wanna kiss you all day.”

you closed the gap between your lips, savoring his taste. jaemin wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you so that you were straddling his thighs. you gasped at his suddenness, but you secretly liked it anyway, looping your arms around his neck. he effortlessly slipped his tongue into your mouth, taking control, and you let him. 

you felt his growing bulge beneath you, making you giggle into the kiss. you ground your hips against him, pressing onto his cock, eliciting a groan from him. “who knew you were so naughty, hm?”

jeno had enough. he purposely pulled his door open, making a loud enough commotion to have you and jaemin separate from each other. you were about to hop off jaemin’s lap, but his grip on your hips prevented you from leaving.

“jeno, didn’t know you were here!”

“yeah, well, i live here too.” jeno grumbled, pretending to go to the kitchen and look for a drink. he saw you sitting on jaemin’s lap, and it felt like he was punched in the gut.

from jeno’s point of view, he could only see your face and the back of jaemin’s head. jeno’s eyes locked with yours, his jaw clenched as his gaze flickered to the both of you. your cheeks grew warm, your hands resting awkwardly on jaemin’s shoulders as if unsure where they should be.

“please don’t fuck,” jeno paused, eyes directly fixated on you, his eyes dark. your heart sped up, somehow getting his message. “on the couch.” maybe you were reading too much into it.

jaemin chuckled, his grip on you tightened, and suddenly, he stood up and held you in his arms. you yelped, legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. “we’ll move this party elsewhere.” he guided you towards his bedroom, leaving jeno alone in the kitchen with his fist curled up into a ball as he watched you descend into the room.

only a thin wall was separating him from you and jaemin. jeno knew what you two were up to. he sat on his chair, facing his desk, head in his hands as he tried to contain himself. his curiosity got the best of him. he stood up, walking towards the wall that faced jaemin’s room and pressing his ear against the wall.

holy shit. jeno thought. he could hear your soft moans through the mall, his mind flashing back to the night you spent together. the sound immediately traveling to his dick. jaemin either had his fingers or dick in you because the way you were whining for him sounded so pretty.

jeno couldn’t help it, he palmed himself through his pajamas, ear still pressed against the wall.

“fuck, jaemin.” he heard you cry out. he bit his lip, trying to prevent any noise from escaping him as he took his cock out of his bottoms. it didn’t take long before he heard clapping and squelching sounds from the other side of the room.

jeno was upset—upset that he had to listen to another guy fuck you while he pathetically jerked himself off. his fingers wrapped around his length, closing his eyes while he listens to your moans. he imagined you. imagined how you were in his room instead of the other. imagining how it was your fingers wrapped around his cock. he began to stroke himself slowly, his thumb smearing the pre-cum that managed to spurt from his tip.

your moans began to get louder, jeno began picking up his pace. fucking his hand with every sound that left your lips. his mind convinced himself that you were making such pretty noises for him. he contained the grunts that threatened to escape his mouth, lips nearly bleeding from holding back. you began chanting jaemin’s name through breaths, indicating that you were close. jeno continued stroking himself until he came hard with his hand around his length, just from the sound of your moans.

you jolted awake, glancing at the clock, the number 1:43 am on display. after you and jaemin had sex, you immediately passed out, not having a chance to get ready for sleep. jaemin’s arm was lazily wrapped around your waist. you gently pushed it away. your throat felt dry, so you decided to sneak into the kitchen to grab a glass. you picked up the discarded shirt on the ground—most likely jaemin’s—slipped it on, and put on your underwear before tiptoeing out of his room, careful not to make too much noise.

in the midst of chugging down a cold glass of water, the sound of a door opening was heard from the end of the hall. it was jeno’s room. you froze, realizing you were not in proper attire right now. you set the glass on the sink before trying to retreat into jaemin’s room.

“y/n?” jeno’s voice echoed through the hall. you mentally cursed as you got caught, thankful the room was still dark. that was until he met you in the kitchen, hand instinctively reaching for the switch to turn on the overhead lights. his breath hitched once he took in your state. legs bare and nipples hard against your plain white shirt that stopped just below your ass. it was like the universe wanted him to sin. “what are you doing awake?” he managed to let out once his eyes stopped taking in your figure. his voice was rough as if he had just woken up from slumber.

“just thirsty.” you mumbled, cheeks getting warm at your semi-exposed state. jeno wasn’t that covered at all, too. he was in his plaid pajama pants that hung low on his waist, and his chest was bare, his toned abs emphasizing under the dim lights.

jeno hummed, walking carefully towards you. “couldn’t sleep?” 

you nodded, instinctively trying to move further away from him, but you bumped into the kitchen island behind you. trapped, you placed your hands against the counter to support yourself, forcing you to meet his eyes. you couldn’t understand the emotion behind them. your mind was getting hazy from his gaze. as much as you wanted to cower and run away, your feet seemed to stop working for some reason.

jeno leaned in slightly, his arms on either side of you as he gripped the edge of the counter, effectively caging you in. your whole body froze, unsure what to do next. all you know is his scent was once again invading your space. his face was so close to you that it reminded you of the night you spent together.

“why do you keep doing this to me?” he whispered, breath fanning your face.

“i’m not doing anything.” you defended, but your voice came out soft.

“exactly.”

jeno kissed you, and you kissed him back. your arms traveled around his neck, pulling him close to you. notwithstanding the fact that the guy you were seeing was in the other room, merely a few steps away from where you were.

the effect jeno had on you was different, almost perplexing. it was like he knew exactly how to get under your skin—like he knew that you would come crawling back to him like how he would to her.

jeno wrapped his arms around your waist. his tongue effortlessly slid into your mouth, twirling it around yours. suddenly, he hoisted your body so that you were sitting on the island counter, making you gasp through the kiss.

“open your legs for me.” he mumbled, pulling away from your lips.

you did as he told, spreading your legs. he stood in between them, giving you another short kiss before his hands traveled to slightly lift the hem of your shirt, just enough to give him the perfect view of your lacy underwear.

jeno groaned once he saw the wet patch forming between your legs. “you just got fucked two hours ago, and you’re still this wet?”

“how did you—“

“you’re not exactly quiet, sweetheart.”

you cowered, head turning away from him, but his fingers caught your chin, forcing you to look at him. his other hand hooking the waistband of your underwear, playing with it.

“can’t believe you’d rather get fucked by him when i’m right here.”

you glared at him. “this is wrong.”

“do you want me to stop?” you stayed silent, making him smirk. “that’s what i thought.”

jeno pulled your underwear down your legs in a painfully deliberate manner, making you swat his arm. he laughed, letting the fabric fall down the floor.

“keep laughing. i can just wake him up, and he’ll do it for me.”

jeno’s laughter faltered, a dark look in his eyes replacing his playful mood. “not fucking funny.” his hand cupped your core, a small yelp escaping your lips. his fingers ran down your folds, spreading your arousal. 

your hands fell to his shoulders, gripping it as he teased your hole. it felt so wrong, but you had clearly decided to throw your morals out the window long ago.

“don’t like seeing you with him.” jeno admitted, his voice low. his confession was supposed to drive you crazy, instead, it felt unfair—like he wasn’t keeping his end of the deal.

“j-jeno.” you moaned, mindful of the volume of your voice. his fingers circled your entrance, just enough to drive you crazy. “you can’t tell me what to do.” you managed to let out, keeping him in place. it was almost absurd how he had the nerve to admit that he didn’t like seeing you with another guy while having a whole girlfriend himself. you bit your tongue back because, well, he was touching you so good, and quite frankly, you didn’t want him to stop.

“maybe,” he hummed before inserting two digits into your entrance. your head dropped to his shoulder, heavily breathing against his skin. he pulled his fingers out before inserting them again, your wetness coating his digits. “but at least i have you moaning my name like the slut you are.”

jeno thrusted his fingers at a pace that had your vision clouded with stars. your fingernails dug into his skin as he curled his fingers, hitting all your sweet spots. you bit your lip to avoid making too much noise, especially since jaemin was just in the room next to yours. his free hand snaked to your hair, gripping it while pulling your head away from his shoulder—careful not to tug on it too harshly—making you look at him in the eye.

“keep quiet. don’t want loverboy to find you grinding on my hand now, do we?” jeno smirked, making your mouth water.

you squirmed at the stretch of his fingers. when he felt you clench around him, he placed his thumb on your clit, rubbing addicting circles on it. his fingers effortlessly sliding in and out of you. his eye contact was overwhelming as he watched you tremble from his mere touch. 

“oh god.” you cried out, face scrunching from the pleasure. your hips bucked against his hand, desperate to feel more.

jeno’s pajamas grew tighter at the sight of you, wishing nothing more than to bend you over and fuck you senseless on this counter—but he couldn’t. not when you just emerged from the room of one of his closest friends, where you did the same activities he wished he could’ve done with you. so he resorted to making you cum just with his fingers.

“be a good girl,” jeno mumbled, pressing his lips against yours. “and cum for me.” he increased the pace in which he was thrusting his digits, each one accompanied by the slight curl of his fingers.

your back arched just by his words, body pushing into him as small gasps left your lips. he almost smiles at the way you looked. so fucking cute, he thought.

“shit—jeno.” you whimpered. your stomach contracted, a clear sign that you were close. and with his thumb doing miracles on your clit, you couldn’t help but cum all over his fingers.

a string of curse words fell from your lips. legs trembling and breath shaking as you rode out your high. your posture nearly giving up as you tried to compose yourself.

jeno pulled his fingers away from your pussy. he couldn’t resist placing them in his mouth, lapping up your juices while maintaining eye contact with you.

that was so hot.

you swatted his arm, feeling shy, but he only chuckled. he leaned down, grabbing your discarded underwear from the floor. “can i keep this?” he boldly asked.

you pondered for a second before quickly snatching the item from his hand. “and if karina finds it?”

jeno grumbled, shoulders slouching from the thought of his girlfriend. “killjoy.” he muttered.

you hopped off the counter, slipping your underwear on. “i gotta go before jaemin wakes up.”

“right.” jeno mumbled, eyes lingering on you for a second, “no goodnight kiss?” he sure was getting comfortable.

“don’t push it.”

you sneaked back into jaemin’s room. his sleeping figure peacefully lying on the bed, almost in the same position you left him in. you nibbled on your bottom lip as guilt started to creep in. you occupied the space next to him. his unconscious self felt your presence, immediately wrapping his arm around your waist. you decided to close your eyes, slumbering taking over you while the weight of your actions sat on you.

you: i need u where are u mark: ??? i am not your sneaky link you: not like that asshole. need someone to talk to mark: diner? you: be there in 10

your eyes scanned the diner, looking for mark’s blond hair to stand out. spotting him at the corner booth, you slid into the empty seat before him. his head looking up to face you, his usual smile plastered on his face.

“hey, nerd.” mark greeted. “you okay? i thought you wanted to fuck me or something.” he chuckled, nudging his plate of fries close to you.

you groaned, head falling to the table. “i’ve had enough of fucking friends for a lifetime.” you mumbled, voice low.

“what’d you say?”

you lifted your head, crossing your arms on top of the table. “you have to promise not to be mad, okay?” you pouted.

“it depends.”

“mark! i’m serious, i don't think i can't take it anymore.” you groaned.

“is this about jeno?”

“what?” your eyes widened, head tilting at him. “not that i’m saying it is, but why did you think that?”

“it’s obvious. you two aren’t hanging as much as you used to. i just figured you got into a fight or something.” mark shrugged, leaning against the chair.

“before i tell you, you have to promise not to judge and that you won’t think any less of me.”

“alright, fine. i promise.” mark raised his hands in defeat.

you let out a sigh before telling him everything. starting from the night of the party—how that one tiny kiss led to the chaos you were now tangled in. you opened up about your feelings for jeno and how conflicted you were now that jaemin’s in the picture. you told him about how guilty you were for doing this to karina. then you moved on to your encounter at jeno and jaemin’s apartment.

mark’s expression shifted throughout your story. his expression juggling between shocked and confused. his brows furrowed in concern, mouth dropping in shock. he let out tiny coughs whenever the story steered into messy territory, his eyes wandering anywhere but on you, trying his best to keep his promise of not judging you.

when you finally finished summarizing everything to him, you covered your face with your hands, ashamed of your story. although your chest felt lighter at the thought of finally confiding about your situation with someone like you had just ripped open a wound and exposed it to the world.

“wow,” mark started, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. “that’s… a lot.”

“i know.” you grumbled, looking down at the table.

“but i’m not mad at you.” he quickly assured, his tone gentle. “and i don’t think less of you. after all, you’re still human, y/n. it must’ve been so confusing for you.” his hand reached across the table, taking your hand in his, in an attempt to comfort you. “i won’t lie, this is really messy, but you’re not a horrible person. you just made bad decisions, but it doesn’t mean you’re bad.”

anxiety washed over you, you wanted to believe his words, but a part of you was convinced he was only saying this because he’s your friend. you shook your head, feeling defeated. “i don’t know, mark. i just… i could’ve stopped it, you know? but i felt stuck.” your throat tightened as the words left your mouth. “i was too caught up in this—this fantasy of mine that i didn’t realize i’d be hurting people.”

mark’s thumb drew small circles on the back of your hand. “hey, we’ll figure it out, okay? the first step is being honest—talk to jeno. if you really regret it, tell him this… thing between you has got to stop. he’s your best friend, y/n, and he has a girlfriend, i know it hurts, but we can’t force things to happen.”

he was right. you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself, especially with other people involved.

“yeah.” you whispered, voice cracking as tears welled in your eyes. “i’m sorry, mark.”

“don’t apologize to me.” mark squeezed your hand. “i’ll support you no matter what, but you have got to clean this up. because the longer you wait, the worse it will get.”

you stood outside the lecture hall where jeno was, shifting your weight from one foot to another as you waited for the bell to dismiss his class.

after your conversation with mark and a sleepless night, you decided to confront jeno. the weight on your chest had become unbearable, and you knew it was time to address everything head-on.

“jeno—” you called out as students began to flood out of the room, but your voice faltered when you saw that karina trailed behind him, naturally reaching for his hand. 

jeno’s head turned at the sound of your voice. his eyes widened when they landed on you, surprise evident in his expression. he hesitated before walking toward you, karina following at his side.

“y/n? what’s wrong?” jeno wondered, his tone soft. you weren’t exactly on speaking terms recently, so you looking for his presence was news to him. karina stood beside him, making your stomach twist uncomfortably. she glanced between the two of you, curiosity and perhaps suspicion flickering across her face.

you gave karina a polite nod, barely meeting her eyes. you couldn’t even face her; seeing him with her stung, and you didn’t even have the right to be hurt. she returned the gesture with a tight, hesitant smile. you always sensed that she wasn’t fond of you, you couldn’t blame her—especially with recent events.

“i need to talk to you,” you pleaded, looking up at him. “alone, please?”

karina’s expression shifted, but she said nothing. jeno glanced at her, silently asking for permission. she gave him a nod as jeno mumbled something you couldn’t hear. she let go of his hand after he let her go with a quick peck on the lips, making you avert your gaze elsewhere—the simple act making your chest tighten with jealousy and guilt tangled together.

jeno returned his gaze to you and gestured his hand for you to lead the way.

you ended up at the park located on campus. given your situation, a secluded area wouldn’t be the best for you right now. you and jeno sat on a bench with the perfect fountain view. chatter could be heard from around you, and it somehow eased your senses.

you stayed quiet, pondering on what to say to him. this morning you woke up with a heavy heart. you spent all night thinking about mark’s advice. the events of the past month haunted you. although your time with jaemin had been filled with warmth and laughter, the guilt clawed at your chest, begging to be released. you felt like you couldn’t entirely give yourself to him without addressing the elephant in the room with jeno.

it was unfair—to jaemin, who had been nothing but kind and sweet, and to yourself, for carrying a weight that wasn’t entirely yours to bear. it was also hypocritical, you were doing to jaemin exactly what you hated that jeno was doing to karina.

“y/n?” jeno’s voice bringing you out of your trance. you lifted your head to face him, his eyes filled with sincerity. “are you okay?”

you looked at him as if he had three heads. here you were, almost drowning in guilt, and he couldn’t even sense you were struggling. “are you serious, jeno?” you scoffed, folding your arms across your chest. the frustration you had bottled up spilled before you could register it. “you’re really asking if i’m okay?”

his eyes widened at your outburst, expression turning soft as he tried to read you. “i just—”

“i can’t take it anymore, jeno.” your voice turned soft, sighing. “this—what we’re doing, we can’t.”

“y/n…”

“can you be honest with me?” you asked. he nodded, gaze intent on you. “do you regret it? what we did?”

jeno paused for a second, scanning your exhausted expression. “i don’t want to hurt you.” he mumbled, voice low.

“that’s the thing, though.” you dryly chuckled, running a hand through your hair. “i’m already hurting. do you think it’s easy for me to see you with her, especially after what we’ve done?”

“what—”

“i like you, jeno.” you confessed, watching as his expression twisted into surprise. “i’ve liked you ever since we were kids, and i thought it was just a silly crush, but it’s not. i keep lying to myself that you’ll like me, that maybe you’ll see me the way i see you.” you spilled before you could even stop the words running out of your mouth. “every time you came to me when you fought, i thought that there was a reason you kept seeing me.” you blinked at him. “and i thought that you kissing me meant that you had the tiniest feelings for me, but you’re still with her, i see the way you look at her.”

“y/n, its not like that—”

“then what is it, jeno?” your voice trembled as you took a shaky breath. “because i—i’m losing my mind here, and you’re being… you’re being mean.”

“mean?”

“yes. you don’t have to lie, okay? i know i’m equally responsible for doing this with you, but i feel like i don’t deserve to be lied to. don’t tell me you’ll take care of things, and don’t tell me not to worry because i’ve been waking up worried ever since that happened! and what we did to jaemin the other day…”

“i’m sorry…”

“you love her, jeno. i get it. but do you have any idea how hard it was for me to see you run to her every time? how hard it was for me to pretend like i’m okay with just being your friend?” tears were threatening to spill from your eyes, and you looked up to prevent them from falling.

“i didn’t—i never meant to make you feel this way, y/n.” the guilt in his eyes was so heavy it made your heart ache.

“then what did you mean to do?” you asked, voice barely audible.

“i don’t know.” jeno admitted, “i’m confused, y/n. i care about you a lot, okay? i really do, but i…”

“you love karina.” you finished for him.

jeno stayed silent, and that was all the confirmation you needed. you stood up abruptly, wiping your tears with the back of your hand before turning around to walk away from him, each step feeling heavier than ever

the sound of hurried footsteps followed you, but you refused to look back, not when you were this vulnerable. before you could take another step, a gentle hand on your arm prevented you from moving any further.

“y/n, wait.” jeno pleaded, softly tugging your arm to turn you. your teary eyes meeting his gaze.

“let me go, jeno.” you clenched your jaw, forcing yourself not to cry.

jeno’s grip softened, but he didn’t let go. “give me time.”

you blinked at him, caught off guard. “what?”

“i—let me sort my thoughts first, okay?” jeno stared down at you, his eyes genuine. “i don’t what i’m doing. y/n. but i know that when i’m with you, it feels…right.”

“that’s not fair.” you frowned, shaking your head. “it’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to me.” his words did nothing to ease the ache in your heart.

“i know, but…” his eyes never left yours. “i don’t want to lose you.” 

you let out a bitter laugh, wiping your tears. “you don’t get to have it both ways, jeno. you can’t just keep me on the side while you figure yourself out.”

“i’m not trying to,” he said, stepping closer to you. his hand trailed down your arm to hold yours. your eyes widened, and you grew aware of the fact that you were in public. “please, just—wait for me.”

you opened your mouth to respond, to tell him how unfair he was being. but before you could muster up the words, his lips captured yours in a kiss that was soft but so desperate. the action filled with longing, as if it contained all the words he couldn’t say.

the world faded away as if you were the only people there, and all you could feel was him—his lips on yours. you hated yourself for it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away.

your mouth moved against his before you heard chatter around you, making you push his body off of you. he kept his hand on yours, refusing to let go.

“don’t walk away, yet.” jeno pleaded. “i’ll make things right. i’ll talk to her and figure it out. i promise.”

his words sent a pang through your chest, making you shake your head. “how am i supposed to believe you, jeno? you always went back to her regardless. how do i know this isn’t just another moment you’ll regret?”

jeno pondered for a second, “i’ll be honest with her. i’ll tell her everything.”

“and then what?”

“and then,” he brought your hand up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. “i’ll come and find you.”

your breath hitched at the sincerity of his voice. you wanted to believe him, but the ache banging against your chest reminded you of the risk. taking a deep breath, you stepped back slightly, breaking his hold on your hand.

“i’ll give you time, jeno.” your voice was soft but firm. “but you need to figure this out, really figure it out, before i can even think about…” you trailed off, unsure about what to label the entire situation.

jeno nodded, determination in his eyes. “i’ll call you, okay?”

and with that, you turned and walked away, your heart pounding with both hope and fear as you left him standing there.

the day had slipped into the evening. jeno walked into the halls of his apartment, the soft glow of the sun casting shadows across the room, reminding him how long it had been since your conversation earlier.

he pondered how he would bring the situation up with karina. no matter how hard he tried, he could no longer bury this secret. his mind kept drifting back to you, to how you looked so disappointed in him, and every time it did, his chest tightened with the thought of how things would never be the same again.

jeno loved karina. every time he closed his eyes, there she was—her face, her smile. she was his anchor, the one thing in his life that he couldn’t discard. they knew each other’s flaws and strengths. they argued, but they always bounced back from it. sure, they had their differences, but they always got through it, finding their way to one another.

i’ve always loved her. jeno thought. that’s how it always was.

but you… you were different.

you were his best friend—the one who knew him. you had been there for him since day one. you experienced life together, laughing over stupid inside jokes, supporting different decisions, and comforting each other through the toughest times. you were his safety net. the person who he knew he could rely on when it felt like the world was against him.

jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. he had always considered you family—how could he not? 

the thought of losing you terrified him. although he would be lying if he said he hadn’t had these flashes filled with thoughts of you. he’s used to dismissing them; it was you, for fuck’s sake. you had been his best friend for so long that even thinking of you differently felt crazy to him. but now, looking back to everything—the way his heart would race when your eyes met in a crowded room, the way his smile would reach his eyes when you laughed at something he said, the way he could always see you in the back of his mind—it all felt so clear.

realization came crashing down on him. his mind racing with thoughts of you. he thought it was just some passing attraction. but it was deeper than that. you were the only person who made him feel seen, the only one who showed him warmth. feelings he couldn’t even seek in karina, despite the love they shared. it terrified him.

he was too scared to admit it. he could no longer pretend. how could he? knowing a part of him belonged to someone else—someone who was not his girlfriend. 

he felt sick, the guilt gnawing at him. he loved karina… didn’t he? his feelings for you were uncertain, fleeting… wasn’t it?

jeno opened the door to his bedroom, and his eyes widened at the sight.

“karina?” jeno questioned, brows furrowing. “what are you doing here?”

“jaemin let me in.” karina replied abruptly. her arms across her chest, an unreadable expression plastered on her face. she was sitting on the edge of the bed as if she was waiting for hours.

jeno set his things down on his desk before approaching karina. instinctively reaching up to kiss her, but she turned her head, his kiss landing on her cheek.

“what’s wrong, babe?” jeno asked, curiosity lacing his voice.

“you tell me.” karina responded, fishing for her phone in her pocket. a confused expression latched on jeno’s face as he watched her tap away on her phone. she raised her phone and shoved it in his face. “care to explain?”

his heart stopped. the color drained from his face as he stared at the photo she was showing.

it was you and jeno—kissing.

he could tell from your outfits that the photo was taken earlier that day, during your heated conversation near campus.

jeno’s mouth went dry as he racked up a response. “i—“ he stammered, words failing to come out.

“don’t try to lie.” karina interrupted, her brow raising. “winter sent it to me. we both know she wouldn’t fabricate such things.”

jeno’s stomach dropped. of course, they were seen, they weren’t exactly keeping it private. “karina…” he started, thinking of words to say to her.

what exactly do you say at this moment? 

“that’s y/n, isn’t it?” karina scoffed, standing up, her height barely meeting his. “i always knew she was a whore.”

“don’t say that.” jeno’s tone shifted, eyes darkening as his voice got firm.

“what?” karina asked incredulously.

“she’s not a whore.”

“are you seriously fucking defending her right now? she kissed you! my boyfriend!” karina spat.

“i kissed her.” jeno admitted, his gaze all over her face.

karina nearly lost balance at his confession. “you—what!” she exclaimed, a frown forming on her lips.

“i kissed y/n.” jeno repeated, his gaze unwavering. “and it isn’t the first time we kissed.”

“what the fuck are you saying?” karina’s voice cracked, disbelief was written all over her face.

“i slept with her on the night of the retreat.”

karina’s eyes widened. “jeno—“

“i started it. i think i’ve known for a while, but i refused to face it.” jeno couldn’t even fathom the words he was spitting out. “i think i’m in love with her.” he admitted, more

the room fell silent at the weight of his confession. the burden lifted off his chest as he comprehended what he had spilled.

“i can’t believe this.” karina shook her head, a bitter, sarcastic laugh slipping past her lips. “after my friends told me i’m way too good for you. you fucking cheated on me? with some bitch?”

“don’t drag her into this. it’s my fault.”

“fuck you.” karina spat, prodding a finger on his chest. “and fuck her, too.”

karina stormed out of the room, pulling the door wide and loud enough to cause a commotion.

jeno called after her, “karina, wait. i’m sorry!” he followed her through the hall.

“sorry?” karina shot back, spinning around to face him. “sorry you got caught, or sorry you have a homewrecker for a best friend?”

jeno winced at her words. “i’m sorry for what i did.” he replied softly. “for hurting you. you didn’t deserve that.”

karina stared up at jeno, eyes glistening as his previous confession came crashing down on her. “i never want to see you again, jeno.” she said, voice breaking before she turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

jeno stood frozen in the hallway—the ghost of their conversation haunting the air.

“dude…” jaemin’s voice cut through the thick silence.

jeno turned to the source of his voice, a sullen expression on jaemin’s face. he was standing in the doorway of his room, clearly having heard the entire conversation.

“jaemin!” jeno exclaimed, completely forgetting his roommate was next door. “did you—“

“you’re in love with y/n?” jaemin cut him off, his expression unreadable. he tilted his head as he looked at jeno. “why didn’t you tell me?” he crossed his arms across his chest.

jeno opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. he took a second before letting out a sigh. “i couldn’t—i wasn’t sure.” he admitted.

“did you… sleep with her when we were together?” jaemin treaded lightly, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

“no! no, we didn’t.” jeno defended, shaking his head. technically it wasn’t a lie. a little fingering doesn’t count as fucking, right?

“i see.” jaemin nodded, a weary look on his face. “i don’t think i can continue seeing her then.” he frowned, rubbing the back of his neck.

“what?”

“you love her, man.” jaemin sent him a small, sad smile. “i don’t want to stand between you.”

“but you said—“

“don’t get me wrong. she’s beautiful and amazing.” jaemin interrupted, holding a hand up. “but you’ve been there for each other since you were kids. i could never stand a chance.” he shrugged. his expression softening.

jeno swallowed, his chest tightening. he never meant for this to happen. jaemin is one of his best friends, and he had betrayed him. “she likes you, jaems.” 

“but she loves you.” jaemin lifelessly chuckled. he took a step closer to jeno, placing his hand on his shoulder, and giving it a firm squeeze. “go get her, jeno.”

taking a deep breath, jeno smiled at jaemin. he knew what he had to do.

you anxiously stared at your phone, as if guarding it would make a notification pop up.

the entire night had been a blur of pacing around your room. the events of your conversation with jeno are stuck in an endless loop in your mind. you hated feeling this way, as if your heart was at someone else’s mercy.

“come on…” you muttered to yourself, checking your phone once more. nothing. just the same blank lock screen.

you sighed, flopping onto your bed and letting the pillows engulf your head. your chest felt heavy. what took him so long? he said he would fix things—was it a lie? maybe he changed his mind. maybe he—

your phone buzzed, snapping you out of your thoughts. your heart jumped as you grabbed it, only for your heart to sink even deeper. it wasn’t jeno.

it was jaemin.

jaemin: hey, y/n. jaemin: i’m sorry to message so late. jaemin: i think it’s best if we stop seeing each other. jaemin: i’m sorry.

your head began to spin. your eyes scan his message repeatedly, trying to make sense of it.

what? your mind raced. this wasn’t what you expected. why would jaemin reach out? and why was his timing odd?

your fingers danced over the keyboard, thinking of a response. a hundred of questions swirled in your head. was this because of jeno? did something happen between them? did he find out what happened in his kitchen that one night?

you: did i do something wrong?

jaemin replied almost immediately.

jaemin: you deserve someone who can give you their all, and i don’t think i can. jaemin: take care, y/n.

your brows twisted into confusion. his response made you even more curious. his words sounded kind, almost too rehearsed. it was as if something was missing, and you couldn’t figure out what.

you stared at the screen, blinking at his message. your emotions swirling wildly between confusion, frustration, and hurt. and still nothing from jeno.

what the fuck was going on?

another buzz came from your phone. instantly checking it, your confusion growing deeper.

karina: never knew you were into boys who had girlfriends karina: *sent one photo*

holy shit.

you sat up in bed, heart banging against your chest. eyes refusing to leave the photo of you and jeno, openly kissing each other from earlier.

and karina knows.

your hands trembled, throat feeling tight. you dropped your phone on your bed and rushed out of your room. tears blurred your vision as the gravity of the situation finally sank in. you had no idea what to do, the room felt like it was shrinking by the second. you needed someone.

without thinking, you rushed out of your room and ran to chaewon’s. you banged on her door, your knuckles trembling as tears flowed down your face.

the door opened almost immediately, revealing chaewon in her pajamas, her eyes widening as she saw your state.

“y/n? babe, what’s wrong?” she instinctively wrapped her arms around you, her hand caressing the back of your head to console you.

“i fucked up.” you cried out, sniffling against her shirt, but knowing her, she doesn’t mind. “i didn’t—i wasn’t—” you stammered, head feeling light.

chaewon hummed, “hey, hey, it’s okay. slow down.” she pulled away just enough to see your face, “whatever it is, we’ll figure it out, okay?”

“chae, i—“ you gasped, unable to stop the tears from gushing out. “i need to tell you something.”

soon enough, you both sat on chaewon’s bed while she tried to comfort you. you told her everything, sparing no details. she sat silently while intently listening to your spew. from repeating your confession to mark to your encounter with jeno earlier, down to jaemin’s cryptic texts—and finally, the photo karina had sent you. by the time you finished, chaewon had a worried expression from your entire story.

“y/n…” chaewon began, and you flinched lightly. you knew she was serious; she would usually refer to you using endearments or your nickname, but the lack thereof told you she was not in the mood to tolerate your actions. “this is serious. i love you to death, but you fucked up.”

“i know,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears with the tissue she previously handed to you. “i don’t know what to do.”

chaewon let out a deep sigh, grasping your hand in hers. “first off,” she reached up and helped you wipe your tears. “you need to stop beating yourself up. i know you’re in a sticky situation, but falling apart isn’t going to help you figure it out.”

you nodded, even though her words hadn’t completely eased your mind.

“and second,” she continued, voice growing softer. “i know you won’t like it, but you need to stay away from jeno for a while. let him sort his shit out. give him time.”

even though you refused to face it, the weight of her words eventually sunk in. she was right. it would be unfair for you to force jeno to make his decision immediately, especially since he is in a relationship.

after a long night of sobbing in chaewon’s arms. you eventually passed out beside her, with the thoughts of jeno being the last thing you remembered.

lightning struck across the campus as you exited the library, tugging your coast closer in an attempt to shield yourself from the downpour. you silently cursed yourself for forgetting to bring an umbrella today. looking up at the sky, you wondered if you could bolt through the pouring rain.

it has been a week since your last encounter with jeno. it would be a lie if you said you were doing fine. every passing minute made you even more anxious. he had made some efforts to reach out to you—sending you texts, calling your phone, and even talking to your friends to ask and see you. but your guilt was weighed heavier than your longing, and you had convinced yourself that you couldn’t face him. not yet.

you stuck with chaewon’s advice; you gave him space. although you felt like the distance was killing you more than him.

you missed jeno. how could you not? he was your best friend. you were so used to being so close to him that the space between you was foreign. you missed having him over and talking about everything and nothing all at once. you missed hearing his voice and his comforting laugh. a smile crept up on your face every time you looked back at your memories with him, making you feel ridiculous.

it was foolish of you to think that you could sway him into thinking that you were the one for him. he always loved karina and you were afraid that it was what his heart was heading towards.

you tried reaching out to karina. you sent her an text even though you knew words alone wouldn’t be enough to mend the damage. once you saw that your message bounced back, you tried again on another platform, the same thing happened. you realized she had blocked you on every social media app. you don’t blame her, of course. you had to live with the pain you caused her.

you clutched your bag tightly before running out in the rain. your apartment was a ten-minute walk from campus—maybe less if you ran. the cold droplets seeped through your clothes as you hurried along the wet pavement, shivering as the storm grew.

you nearly reached your apartment when a car screeched to a halt in front of you, its headlights glaring through the rain, clouding your vision. your brows furrowed as you used your hand to shield the bright light. squinting as you tried to make out who was behind the wheel through the rain. the car door opened, revealing a tall figure emerging from the driver’s seat.

jeno.

“what are you doing out here in the rain?” jeno raised his voice enough for you to hear him through the sound of the rain hitting the pavement.

“i didn’t have a choice.” you admitted, your voice trembling from the cold and the sight of him. you watched, puzzled, as he left the warmth of his car to stand in the rain with you, water drenching his hair and clothes.

“aren’t you freezing?” jeno questioned, shrugging off his soaked coat and gently draping it around your shoulders.

“aren’t you?” you looked at him with wide eyes. the rain dripping down his face did him justice, he still looked beautiful.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” he said, tone turning soft. deja vu. “why?”

“i thought you needed time.”

“i said i would come and find you.” his eyes locked on yours.

“karina sent me—“

“i know.” he interrupted. “i told her everything.”

your heart sped up. “how’d she take it?”

“we broke up.” he said, the weather matching his tone. “for real this time.”

“oh.”

“oh?” his brows furrowed, taking a step towards you. “that’s all you have to say? oh?”

“well, what do you want me to say?” you frowned. “thank you for breaking up with your girlfriend for me?”

“i didn’t—you know it wasn’t like that.”

“then what is it, jeno?”

“it’s you.” jeno said. even with the rain surrounding him, you heard him loud and clear. “it’s always been you.”

you blinked up at him, stunned, lips quivering.

“i was too blind to see it,” he continued, stepping closer until your chests were nearly brushing one another. “too scared to admit it. but it’s you, y/n. it’s always been you.”

your heart pounded as he raised his hands to cup your face. his gaze was soft and focused on you. only you.

and then his lips were on yours, warm despite the storm. you melted into the kiss, your hands clutching at his soaked shirt as the noise of the rain started to drown out. the kiss was soft but so full of emotion that it left you breathless.

“jeno…” you whispered once you pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “i missed you.” you admitted, voice trembling.

“i missed you, too.” he mumbled, his lips brushing yours. “i’m not letting you go again.”

“kiss me.”

jeno didn’t hesitate. his lips found yours once again, kissing you softly but quickly turning passionately. his hand copper your cheek as his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, asking for permission. you parted your lips, and he immediately shoved his tongue in your mouth, exploring it with hunger. a soft whimper escaped you as his hands slid down to grip your waist, pulling you closer.

“need you,” he murmured, pulling away lightly. your gaze flickered briefly towards his car, and as if he had read your mind, he took your hand and guided you to his vehicle.

jeno parked the car on the side of the road, grateful that the rain had driven everyone to stay indoors. the windows fogged almost instantly as you both scrambled into the back seat, the heat between you radiating.

jeno’s hand found you once more, gripping your waist as he pulled you onto his lap. your legs straddling either sides of his thigh. he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you like he had been holding back for years. the rain was pounding on the roof of the car, but neither of you cared.

you could barely think, lost in the sensation of his touch as he slid down your coats. your heart beat against your chest once you made eye contact with him. you could make out the sharp lines of his face through the soft glow of the moon. your hand reaching up to caress his cheek, not believing that you had him in your clutches.

“what’s wrong?” jeno asked. “do you want me to stop?”

“no.” you instantly responded, shaking your head. “i just can’t believe it.”

“can’t believe what?” jeno’s lips trailed down your jawline, kissing and sucking on your skin.

“that you’re mine.”

“better believe it, baby. i’m not going anywhere.” jeno chuckled, kissing you again. his lips molded with yours slowly and sweetly. you pressed your body against his, hips instinctively grinding down on him.

“want you so bad.” jeno groaned, his hand reaching down to the hem of your shirt. looking up to you for confirmation, and when you showed no signs of refusal, he lifted the fabric off your body. leaving you in your soaked dark bra. “my beautiful girl.”

you grew shy beneath his gaze, trailing one finger down to the zipper of his jeans. “how bad?” you breathed, toying with his pants, feeling him grow hard below you.

“so fucking bad. i’ve been dreaming of having you again.” jeno admitted, hands roaming your body. reaching behind you to unclasp your bra—which he did effortlessly. once your breasts were on full display for him, he couldn’t help but attach his mouth to your nipple, enclosing his lips around the bud while his fingers circled the other. you moaned, arching your back, pushing your breasts closer to him.

in a swift motion, jeno’s shirt and pants were pulled off him and discarded somewhere in the car. your bottoms and underwear, too, were slid off your body. leaving the both of you breathless and naked.

jeno laid you down on the backseat, carefully trying to maneuver himself between your legs. his gaze on your completely bare body, all waiting and craving for him.

“you’re driving me insane, did you know that?” jeno mumbled, tracing his fingers over your delicate body. from your chest, down to your stomach, and in between your legs. “couldn’t stop thinking of you. no matter how hard i tried, i could always see your pretty face.”

jeno’s fingers ghosted over your entrance, making your breath hitch. his digits toying with your slick, spreading them up and down your folds. “so wet and ready for me, hm?” he teased, watching you squirm from his touch.

“j-jeno.” you whimpered, hips bucking as he circled your clit.

“so cute,” he whispered, almost entirely to himself. he inserted two fingers into your pussy, making you gasp. your hands fly to his shoulder to grip it for support. “you like that, baby?”

“y-yes, so good.” you cried out, making him smirk. he pulled his fingers out ever so slightly before thrusting them in again. keeping his pace steady as your pussy swallowed his digits.

“want to taste your sweet pussy.” jeno said, pulling his fingers off of you before sliding his body to the floor of the car. “sit up for me, baby.” he instructed, and you immediately followed. sitting up while he kneeled in front of you. “good girl.”

jeno wrapped his arms under and over your thighs, pulling your pussy close to his face. he inhaled your scent before darting his tongue out, licking your folds. you moaned out his name as his tongue circled your clit while his fingers returned to your core. he easily thrust his fingers in, curling them just the way you liked it while his mouth relentlessly sucked on your clit.

“oh god.” you moaned. your hand falling to grip his damp hair, tugging on it.

jeno’s rhythm was perfect. his fingers and tongue were in harmony as he pleasured you. you were a trembling mess from his touch, each movement of his threatening your orgasm to come even closer.

“you’re so fucking sweet.” he hummed against you, sending vibrations throughout your entire body. a jolt of pleasure coursing through you as he pressed his tongue flat against your clit, while his fingers increased in pace. “gonna cum for me, baby?”

you nodded, the familiar tight knot forming in the pit of your stomach. with just a few thrusts of his fingers, you came crashing down. you clenched around him as you rode out your high. his pace decreased while his tongue lapped up your cum. you shivered from the sensation, chest heaving from your orgasm.

jeno smiled before leaning up and pressing a sweet kiss on your lips, tasting remnants of your arousal on his lips. “ready for me, baby?”

“hurry up.”

jeno chuckled, taking a seat beside you. “ride me, princess?” he tilted his head, almost in a pleading manner.

you climbed on his lap, supporting yourself on his shoulder while your other hand reached in between your bodies to align his cock with your entrance. you teasingly rubbed the tip of his length against your slit, watching him bite his lip at the sight.

“stop teasing me. i need you so badly,” jeno grunted, his large hands reaching behind your back.

you smiled before sinking down on his cock, mouth falling agape at his size.

“oh fuck.” you whispered once he was fully buried into you. you caught your lip in between your teeth as your walls adjusted to his cock. his hands rubbing soothing motions on your back as he watched you with dark eyes.

“slowly, baby.” jeno assured, pressing a soft kiss on your lips.

you slowly started to bounce on his cock. the sensation was burning but quickly turned into pleasure. you held onto his shoulders as you increase your pace, 

“fuck, fuck.” jeno chanted, head falling against the headrest. “so tight and warm for me.”

whines slipped past your lips with each bounce, the tip of his cock perfectly kissing your cervix.

“s-so big.” you let out, nails digging into his shoulders.

jeno lifted his head, his eyes falling to your breasts, watching as they bounced right in front of his face. his mouth caught one of your nipples, tongue circling the sensitive bud.

the car shook with every movement you made. the window fogging and the scent of sex filling the air. you gasped as jeno’s fingers reached between your bodies, thumb circling your clit. your legs started to burn from riding him, so you sank further and began grinding on him.

“holy shit.” jeno cursed, pulling away from your nipple. his free hand gripping your hip to guide you, pushing you further down on his cock.

“i-i can’t—“you cried, tears forming in your eyes. legs growing weak with every grind.

“you can do it, baby. fuck yourself on my cock like the good girl you are.”

jeno’s words sent shocks through your body, moaning loudly as you chased your high. the stretch of his cock was enough to cloud your vision with stars. feeling lightheaded as you rocked yourself forward, the friction drove you insane.

“fuck, that’s it, baby. almost there.” jeno groaned, his voice deep.

you were cumming in no time as jeno increased his pace in circling your clit. your body squirming as you clenched around his cock. but jeno’s grip didn’t falter, still guiding you to grind your hips and you did. helping him reach his climax.

“shit—i’m gonna cum. where do you want it?”

“inside, jen.”

“fuck, i love you.” jeno grunted, making your eyes widen. with a throaty moan escaping his lips, his cum painted your walls. you gasped as his cock twitched inside you. catching his breath, he placed a kiss on your lips before flashing you a lazy smile.

“what did you say?” you questioned, an evident smile on your lips.

jeno’s grin faltered, a flush of embarrassment replacing his expression. “i love you, y/n.” he repeated more confidently. “i’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”

“i love you, too, jeno.”

relief washed over him as he cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss that was slow, sweet, and filled with every unspoken word between you.

in that moment, the outside world ceased to exist. it was just you and jeno, wrapped in a love that had always been there.

“do we have to go?” jeno groaned dramatically, burying himself under your covers as if the mere thought of leaving your apartment was too much to bear.

you couldn’t help but giggle at him. grabbing his shirt from the ground and putting it on. the oversized fabric falling just above your thighs. “yes, jeno. we promised them, remember?”

jeno peeked beneath the comforter, his dark and messy hair sticking up in different directions. his gaze falling to your almost bare state. he sat up to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap, making you squeal. “why go to some party, when we could just stay here? in bed? loving each other?”

you playfully smacked his arm, although secretly loving his treatment. “because, baby, we said we’d be there. and besides,” you added, turning to face him with a smirk. “don’t you want to show off your girlfriend?”

the corner of jeno’s mouth lifted into a wide grin. “girlfriend, huh?” his voice laced with pride. “let’s go. but only because i love the sound of that.”

the loud music echoed throughout the house party. you and jeno entered together, his fingers intertwined with yours. as you both navigated the crowd, you spotted chaewon, mark, and haechan all hunched up together near the kitchen.

“y/n! jeno!” chaewon greeted, sending a wave over to the both of you. “what took you so long?” she engulfed you into a hug.

you returned her hug with a laugh. “it’s his fault.” you teased, nodding in jeno’s direction.

“hogging our girl all to yourself, lee?” mark raised a brow, smirking as he took a sip from his cup.

“correction,” jeno playfully glared, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. “she’s my girl.”

“barf.” haechan made a gagging motion, scrunching his face. “can’t believe we lived to see the day these two finally get together.”

“finally?” jeno questioned, a knowing smirk on his face as he faced you.

“y/n had a massive crush on you—” haechan singsong tone was cut short by your swift swat to his arm.

“okay, that’s enough!” you interrupted, dragging jeno away to grab some drinks. “let’s get drunk, shall we?”

jeno chuckled, pulling your body flush against him. he captured your lips into a soft kiss, the chaos of the party fading into the background.

as the night went on, the teasing and laughter continued. jeno stayed close, his hand never leaving yours. it felt good—natural—to finally not be afraid. throughout the evening, you caught him staring at you on multiple occasions. his eyes filled with adoration every single time, your heart felt content, and you knew this was exactly where you were meant to be.

[cvlutos]

“No Nut November” Pt.2

| Repost: 01.09.23 | 1.3K | Mature |

NRC 2nd Years X GN!Reader

| CHARACTERS 18+ | Sexual Themes | Masturbation | Flirting | Sorta Creepy | Voice Kink | Etc. | Proceed with Caution, Dearest. |

♡ RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS ♡

LOSER #ONE

He honestly doesn’t know about NNN, until he heard Ace and Deuce talking about it and so he asks Trey. Who simply laughs out loud and sorta explains it. Riddle literally goes red in the face and wants to collar anyone who speaks about something that is so embarrassing. Until you casually mention it and think it’s funny. He’s sorta like that’s dumb. He’s totally not doing NNN, not even for you. But he thinks about it, various times throughout the day. I honestly believe that Riddle isn’t a very horny person, so he rarely gets hard till the most random of times. He sorta just plainly ignores it as he does homework in his bedroom. Absentmindedly chewing on his pen, think about you and how’d you touch—

He'll win, simply because he can’t bring himself to jack off. Though most likely had the most intense wet dream known to man. He woke up shaking and shuddering, sweating as if he fucked fr. He swears that would never happen. He would never put his dick in you—can’t make eye contact with you for weeks without becoming red in the face.

“Off with anyone’s head who participates in something so disgusting—No, I’m not red in the place!”

♡ RUGGIE BUCCHI ♡

LOSER #TWO

Loud and proud with “winning”. Knows all about NNN and he and his friends probably keep track to make sure each other doesn’t fail. So at the same time, he’s tryna preserve his NNN streak, he’s tryna ruin it for everyone else. He’s taking the most outta pocket pictures and will just casually show everyone, like one where you slip in a puddle, another why are you biting your lip. Leona is his biggest victim. He thinks he’s untouchable until you go outta your way to get him a gift. The only gifts Ruggie ever receives are the rare gifts from friends and family from the Afterglow Savannah, or the various things Leona “gives” him. So a gift from his crush.

He’s crashing and burning. Fumbling over his words as he darts off to his room. Tripping over himself as he struggles to unbuckle this belt, kicking his door close with a slam. He’s almost shaking from excitement, like a dog in front of a fresh meal. Leaning against his dorm and bucking wildly into his hand. Will act like he never came to the thought of you, though several say some heard him whimper your name.

“No, I didn’t lose… no, I don’t whimper.”

♡ AZUL ASHENGROTTO ♡

ULTIMATE LOSER.

I’m sorry but when it comes to you and trying to not masturbate. He’s failing. Losing before he even knew about NNN. Like, he’s so embarrassed when Floyd and Jade talk about as they walk to class, his face is pink before he’s coughing it off and calling NNN a children’s game. He’ll not participate in something so silly. Like bsfr.

As if he hadn’t his face shoved into a pillow and his blankets shoved between his legs. Hair, disheveled, and face red as he grinds into the multiple blankets, at exactly November 1st, 4:13AM. Like the sun isn’t even out.

“That is a childish game—No! I didn’t ‘jizz’—Don’t say such brash things! Especially in public, Floyd!”

♡ JADE LEECH ♡

WINNER #ONE

He wins simply because he wants to win. He has no carnal desire to ‘fuck his hand’ nor ‘ruin his bedsheets’, both kindly phrased by Floyd. Don’t be mistaken, he has before, seeing as he’s extremely interested in the human body. But he already knows what he likes and what makes him tick, of sorts. But you. What makes you hot and bothered? Are you into biting? Maybe blood? Maybe you like it rough, or maybe you like it soft. Which one is it?

This NNN isn’t going to be for him to have self-control. It’s going to be for you. He simply loves the embarrassed look you have when he gives you shy touches or whispers in your ear. He loves to see the way humans react. His goal isn’t to just make you lose NNN by cumming, he wants to be there and be the one that makes you cum.

“Please do tell, what is it you’re into? Shall we explore together?”

♡ FLOYD LEECH ♡

LOSER #FOUR

Loud and proud, this time with losing. Zero shame in talking to you about it. All in your ear, whispering about how hard you made him and how he came to you. Not even in a private place, probably during passing period when the halls were all crowded. Now don’t be mistaken, he “tried” for a good 60 minutes till you were minding your own business. Probably you yawned in his vicinity. He blames you for losing.

Floyd is such a flip-floppy person. Like he’s mad, he’s lost one moment, cause if you didn’t just walk around all alluring, then he wouldn’t have fucked his hand. But he’s also happy, cause he gets this type of reaction outta you. Plans to fuck you at the end of the month. One way or another.

“Don’t be like that Shrimpy~ I was just tryna have some funn hallway chit chat~”

♡ KALIM AL-ASIM ♡

LOSER #FIVE

Don’t feel bad for him. Everybody and their momma knew Kalim wasn’t winning. Everybody in that dorm knew that the moment he said he was doing NNN, he was going to lose. Like he’s the only one shocked when he’s having difficulty winning like he isn’t a huge simp. Like you say ‘jump’, Kalim is like ‘How high?’ He’d jump off a cliff into the ocean if you asked him to.

Lasts a day. A day. Longer than Jamil thought, who gave him 5 hours max. Others betting 20 minutes. So he shocks everyone, but at the same time is it a flex if everyone can hear you getting down and dirty in your room and everyone in a 10-mile radius can hear the person who has a crush on name being moaned. Kalim acts normally the next day, but Jamil looks so ashamed.

“Yeah, I lost, but it’s just a game. And I don’t mind losing [Name] is just so irresistible!”

♡ JAMIL VIPER ♡

UNDECIDED.

Truly can’t decide whether he would win or not. He’s only participating because of Kalim, who begged. So he’s playing. Which he’s proudly like, ‘I got this, no way I’m losing.’ Until you pull up, and around a lot more and he’s genuinely enjoying spending time with you, to the point you showing up in his dreams. One day in class he blanked out and had written your name with his last name. Suddenly he’s avoiding you like the bubonic plague. Like he sees you in the hall, he’s spinning around, dragging Kalim the other way.

I’ve changed my mind. He’s losing. He probably got a huge boner from spending time with you in his dorm room and thought that he could ease the pain and annoyance of his boner without cumming. For someone who’s in the dorm of mindfulness, why did he think that work, as he stares at his homework that’s now painted in his mess.

“I’m not avoiding them… I’m just taking a shortcut.”

♡ SILVER ♡

WINNER #TWO

He can barely stay awake to do homework. He sure ain’t staying awake to jerk off. Though he knows about NNN, because of his very loud dormmate, known as Sebek Zigvolt. Who challenges him. Silver, half awake and tired, agrees. Definitely forgets, and his only saving grace is him falling asleep mid-masturbation. Kid, you not. Has woken to his limp dick in hand on multiple occasions. Though I do believe that Silver stays very alert even in his sleep, so no one has caught him with his dick out. He’s been close.

He can barely stay awake to do homework. He sure ain’t staying awake to jerk off. Though he knows about NNN, because of his very loud dormmate, known as Sebek Zigvolt. Who challenges him. Silver, half awake and tired, agrees. Definitely forgets, and his only saving grace is him falling asleep mid-masturbation. Kid, you not. Has woken to his limp dick in hand on multiple occasions. Though I do believe that Silver stays very alert even in his sleep, so no one has caught him with his dick out. He’s been close.

“I won… oh okay…”

ⓒ 2023 love-thanatopsis — all rights reserved. Any sort of plagiarizing, copying, modifying, translating, editing of my works are strictly prohibited.

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈

part 3 of 🌧️welcome to hell🌧️

summary - as the betrayal continues, you slip through memories that you had unknowingly locked away, finally seeing the lies.

warning - cheating, angst, bad thoughts, swearing, self-hate.

the gif I use isn't mine, headers by me.

part 1 - part 2 - part 4

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

You finally make your way to your bedroom, each step dragging with dread. You could feel the end approaching, but you didn’t know how it would go. You walk in and see him already on his side, you sigh softly before crawling into the bed. You felt your skin crawl with him so close, you felt like you needed to bathe in bleach or boiling hot water or even both to stop feeling so dirty. You turned on your side, not being able to fall asleep as your mind is flooded with thoughts and memories.

Ten minutes pass and you feel Johnny move before he slides out of bed and tiptoes to the bedroom door. Your eyes slip shut when he turns his head to check if you are asleep. The moment he walks out, and the door closes gently behind him, a tear slips from your eyes.

The house had been quiet, but the moment your husband entered the guest bedroom next to yours. The silence had been replaced, first with their voices. They were muffled, but you could still hear them through the wall, your heart was pounding in your chest as their voices turned into moans. You felt as though someone had reached into your chest, grabbed your heart and started squeezing and twisting. You imagined the person doing it was a demonic version of Johnny, he stood before you, his hand in your chest, claws digging into your frantic heart. His eyes black, an evil swirled inside of them, and a large sadistic grin appeared, a row of sharp teeth shown. 

The truth was… You’d rather deal with a demon than what was happening in the other room. 

Your eyes slip closed as tears continue to fall and as you are trying to block out the sounds coming from the guest room. You are pulled into a memory…

Your body collides into something, and your eyes squeeze shut as you are expecting to fall from the force of impact. You feel someone wrap their arms around you and your eyes shoot open, you are met with the prettiest blue eyes you have ever seen. Your mouth opens and closes, cheeks heating up when you realise you’ve been staring for too long at the hot stranger.

He smiles down at you, and you feel like you’re dreaming. “You better watch your step, Baby girl. You nearly fell for me.” His smile shifted into a smirk, you were the prey to the predator, the toy to a manwhore. Your heart fluttered. 

Your lashes fluttered as you blinked before you realised you were still in the man’s arms. You gently pull away and look down at your feet, your bottom lip between your teeth as you suddenly feel shy and ridiculous. “I’m so sorry.” Your hands smooth out the dress you are wearing before you pause as a hand comes up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes shoot up and connect with his pretty blue ones. 

“Nothing to be sorry about, Baby. You got a name, beautiful?” You nod. He chuckles, “Not gonna share it?”

Your mouth opens and your face heats up again. “Oh! I’m sorry, it’s Y/n.” You begin to chew your bottom lip, staring at him again. 

“Beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Names Johnny.” He smirks again. “What do you say we get outta here, Baby girl?” And like that, your interest in him crashed and burned. 

You shook your head. “It was nice to meet you, Johnny.” You give him a small smile before you walk away. Unknowingly leaving the playboy shocked behind you. 

You had chosen a path that you didn’t know had been set out for you that day. Fate had created two, and if you had moved to the left a little bit two seconds before bumping into Johnny. You would’ve bumped into your other path. The path you were meant to take. 

That was the first time you had met each other, but it seemed the universe or fate wasn’t done with either of you just yet. The memory switched…

You were sitting in a small cafe, your laptop opened in front of you as a hot coffee sat beside it. Your brows were furrowed as you stared at the screen, not noticing the hot not so stranger walk in. Johnny looks around with a cocky look, trying to find someone he could take home when his eyes landed on you and his expression morphed into one of shock. 

You were the one that got away, a challenge. Johnny was rarely turned down, anyone and everyone wanted him. So why didn’t you? 

It seemed from the beginning you were always just a challenge for him to pursue and when he got you. He must’ve grown bored because once you’ve caught the thing that interested you, sparked something inside, made you curious to figure out. Was it really fun anymore? 

Johnny sauntered over, a smirk on his lips. “Hey, Baby girl.” You look up with wide eyes, not expecting to run into him here. It didn’t seem like his style. 

“Johnny…”

“It’s good to see you again, beautiful.” He licked his lips as his eyes danced over your body. You shift, your eyes darting between him and your laptop. He must’ve sensed something was wrong because his back straightened. “I’m sorry. I feel like we’ve come off on the wrong foot.” He did a spin, facing you with a playful smile. “Hi, I’m Johnny. It’s nice to meet you!”

You didn’t mean to, but a giggle slipped out. A giggle? You haven’t done that since you were a teenager and your crush spoke to you. Your lashes flutter as you look into his eyes, a smile making an appearance on your face. Your hand slips into his extended one, shaking it gently. “Hi, I’m Y/n.” 

After your second meeting, things seemed to hit off from there. You exchanged numbers and kept in touch, after speaking on the phone for two weeks. Johnny had asked you on a date. Your memory switched to when your relationship turned romantic…

You were extremely nervous, why was Johnny bothering with you? You knew what kind of guy he was. So, was this a play to get into your pants? You stared at yourself in the mirror, your lip had become puffy and red from how much you had been chewing on it. Your eyes scan your outfit, trying to spot a problem. You wore a slightly larger size, dark grey wool jumper with a black skirt. 

Johnny was taking you to a carnival and you didn’t want to overdress, but you also didn’t want to look horrible. So you went with a simple option, but you didn’t know if this was a good decision in the first place. Your brows furrowed, he had been nice. But what did he want with you? 

You shake your head of your thoughts before grabbing a clip to clip your hair back, only leaving a few strands out to frame your face. You then walk into your bathroom and apply some mascara and gloss, having to take some deep breaths as you feel so anxious. You couldn’t shake these nerves, somewhere deep inside. You felt like this was wrong. 

A knock at the door brings you out of it and you walk over with a smile you had practiced so many times in the mirror, wanting, needing to look perfect. You didn’t want everyone else to see the flaws you saw. 

Your biggest fear was that eventually he would see you the way you saw yourself.

He had looked hot that night, like he always did. You never knew what he saw in you. You remembered his reaction when you opened the door. 

Your body buzzes with nerves as you open the door, your eyes land on Johnny who looks away from something when he hears the door opening. His eyes landed on you, and they sparkled, scanning you from head to toe. “Wow… You look beautiful.” He licked his lips. He calls you beautiful like it’s your name, but why did it feel like a lie? “You ready to go?” You nod, following him out.

As you relive the memory, you realise so many signs you had missed. You should have seen it coming. The signs were flashing brightly in front of your face, but you were too blind to see. Everything flashes before your eyes so quickly, the night of your first date. He was looking at your new neighbour who had just moved in down the hall, she had just come home from work at the diner and caught his eye. You didn’t know that after your date when you wouldn’t let him in, that he would then knock on her door and end up in her bed. He didn’t cheat, but he wasn’t completely honest, and you didn’t know which was worse. You remembered the date, things that were once locked away in your mind to protect your heart were now unlocking before your eyes.

He took you to the carnival that you had been dying to go to, but you never had the time or the people to go with. You were so excited, practically bouncing on your feet as the lights caught your eye. Your smile so wide as you walked past the stalls and rides, your hand holding onto Johnny’s, eyes sparkling with happiness.

You were so busy looking around at the games that you missed the looks your date was giving others. From the beginning it seemed he wasn’t really in this for love. Oh god, why were you so blind? You pull him over to a game where you can win a bear, it wasn’t like the movies where the guy would offer to win the prize for you. Johnny just watched as you did it yourself. How did he trick you for so long? 

At some point in the date, you began to feel sad. Was he not that into you? You watched him for a bit before looking down at the food he bought, and the roles switched. Johnny watched you and he wondered why you looked so sad. He was good at seducing women into his bed, he wasn’t the greatest at the whole dating thing. 

“Do you want to go on the bumper cars? We can team up.” He didn’t know why he felt so nervous when asking, you were just a girl. What could be so scary about that? Johnny watched as your face lit up and you smiled. He liked when you smiled, it made him feel like he did something right. You nod and get up, not bothering to finish the food as you grab his hand and pull him towards the bumper cars. 

The date picked up a bit after that, you still missed the looks Johnny gave any pretty woman that looked his way. But he was more attentive, so you were happier. You didn’t feel so unattractive and boring. Toward the end of the date, he took you on the ferris wheel, kissing you at the top. You thought you had felt sparks as your lips touched. But they were only what you had wanted to feel. 

You pull out of the memory, tears streaming down your face as you remember that you never actually felt those sparks when your lips met his. Your memories continue to flash through your mind to distract you from the moans that have gotten louder. Johnny knew you were a deep sleeper, you guess that was why they didn’t even try to be quiet. Your second date he had taken you bowling, and you thought that maybe this could work. Then when your third date came around and he took you to a very fancy restaurant, you had a brief thought that maybe he forgot when you mentioned you preferred the simpler things in life. After your third date, Johnny had become more handsy and because of how blind you were, you thought you loved him and ended up in his bed. 

You don’t know why you two got married. You had wanted it, the relationship was still thriving… Well, on your side it was. Johnny would be gone sometimes, but you brushed it off because of how sweet the relationship was sometimes. 

Your ears ring as your mind blocks out the moans and you are dragged back into another memory, the one where you got your first apartment together. 

You held his hand as you both walked into the tenth apartment that week, nothing had caught your eye yet, nothing seemed to call out to you. But this one felt good, it was in your price range and had the things you were looking for. Johnny seemed semi interested, but he had told you to choose what you liked before going back to his phone. 

“Johnny, what do you think?” You wanted him to decide as well. You tugged slightly on his hand as you looked up at him, waiting for him to look up from his phone. He hums, removing his eyes from the screen before he looks around and nods, leaning down to place a kiss on your head. 

“It’s perfect, Babe.” You smiled, everything in that moment felt perfect. You stared off, this was the beginning of your life. This would be the place where your relationship would blossom. You and Johnny had gotten the apartment that day. 

When the day came to finally move your stuff in and get things sorted. You had gotten into a fight.

“Will you just leave me the fuck alone?! God! I need my fucking space!” Johnny screamed, his glare set on you. 

“I just wanted to know where you were!” You screamed back, anger dripped from your words. “You knew we had things planned today! Yet, you decide that going out last night was more important! Why the hell are you only coming home now, Johnny?! It’s nine–thirty in the fucking morning!” You had forgotten this fight or more specifically what it was about. You can’t remember why you kept forgetting the bad?

He throws his hand up, “I stayed at a friend’s house! Is that a fucking problem?!” 

“Yes. We had times set for when we had to be there, we still have things we need to do.”

“Why couldn’t you just do it? Do you seriously need me for everything? I came fucking apartment hunting with you when I could’ve been out!” Your anger started to rise when he opened his phone, now paying more attention to it than you. Who was he texting all the time? 

But sadness began to overweigh the anger with your next words. “...We were supposed to do this together, WE as a couple. Not I or me, I wanted you to have a say as well…” You sigh, shaking your head before you grab your things and walk past him. “I’ll just do it myself… It’s fine.” You gulp, swallowing the tears.

You remember that was your first fight and on the way out of his place, you bumped into someone.

“I’m so sorry!” You quickly say as you shake your head, lifting your hand to quickly wipe away a stray tear that fell. 

“I’m so sorry!” The stranger says at the same time, their hands immediately reaching out to steady you as you stumble.

You look up, your eyes connecting to the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen. You didn’t know that he thought the same about your eyes and you both stared at each other for a bit, a whole life together flashed before both of your eyes before a throat cleared.

You turn your head and feel your cheeks heat up, there stood a gorgeous redhead and of course this guy had a girlfriend, he was so dreamy… AND you had a boyfriend too! How could you forget that by just looking into his eyes? You clear your throat, stepping back a bit. The woman smirks, her eyes move between you and the man, as if she figured out something before anyone else. “Sorry for interrupting this love at first sight moment, but we gotta go.” 

He nods, even though his cheeks turn a pretty pink and you’re sure if you touched yours, they’d be hot. “I’m sorry again for bumping into you, ma’am. Have a nice day.” He leaves with the prettiest smile you have ever seen, he leaves before you can even learn his name… 

Now you remember why you forgot the fight… The moment you looked into the strangers eyes, the whole world disappeared and the only thing you could see, feel, smell was him. It felt like everything had connected, like your souls had finally found each other after searching for so long. It all felt like this was what was meant to be but was suddenly pulled away with each step he took as he left. Leaving your souls to search for one another again.

He was your soulmate. You didn’t know it, yet. But you’ll find him in the next life like you had found him in this one. 

You were broken out of your trance at the sound of the door opening behind you. You turn around and see Johnny, he seemed in a rush with his face no longer in his phone and keys gripped tightly in his hand. “Thank god! I thought you’d be far by now!” Johnny pulls you into a hug and kisses your head. “I’m sorry, Babe. I should've been here at the time we said.” He pulls back and looks down at you. “Are you ready to go?”

You nod, walking with him but your mind is on someone else, and you feel so god damn guilty. You looked at your boyfriend to try and get the thoughts of someone else out of your head, but to no avail. You didn’t even know the guy’s name. How could he possibly make you feel more than you do with Johnny?

You finally made it to your new apartment, you had called ahead when you realised that you weren’t going to make it at the said time. Thankfully, they had been understanding. 

When the two of you entered your new home. It didn’t exactly feel like it just yet, the place was empty except for the boxes filled with your belongings. The furniture you and Johnny had picked out hadn’t arrived, but you guess you could work around that. 

As you were in the middle of unpacking some boxes, you noticed Johnny on his phone and frowned, wondering what had him smiling like that. Your question was answered as music filled the room and he placed his phone down before walking over to you with a smile. The empty apartment was now filled with laughter as you both danced around, not caring if the moves were perfect or not. You laugh as you fall into him, and his arms wrap around you. This is why you could push through all the bad, because there was still the good.

Yes, you could see it. Finally, it feels like our life together can start. He leans down, eyes slipping closed as his lips press flush against yours. Still no sparks, but that was okay. Because he was the one you wanted.

Now you remember why you two had married. Because in that moment, the man, Johnny’s disappearances and late nights, the stress of finding a new home and your questions on if he was the one had disappeared. Vanished as he held you in his arms, in your new home as he kissed you. Feeling happier than you had felt for so long.

You lay in bed, with every moan you could feel your heart break over and over again. All the good that once flooded your memories had been replaced with every sound that slipped from that room, no longer filled with love and happiness. You were no longer going to think of your wedding day or any other day that meant something to you, because they were all lies. You had realised too late that your relationship was a joke, Johnny had gotten better with hiding his man whorish ways. 

“Fuck, I love you, beautiful.” The words were muffled, but it sounded so loud in your head. Those words seemed to be the final nail in the coffin. 

He calls you beautiful like it was your name. It echoed, tore into your heart. Your heart barely tore at the I love you he had announced. That wasn’t the word that hurt the most, no… It was the name he had called you, now uttered against her lips, skin, soul. Etched into her being as though she was the only one, he was seeing. You felt like you could no longer breathe, like you were drowning and there was no way to come up for air. You knew it felt like a lie.

Have you ever felt like you did everything right and it still went all wrong? Like you weren’t living the life you were meant for? 

You fell asleep heartbroken and tired. It hurt when you realised you weren’t as important to someone as you thought you were. Sometime late in the night or early morning, you felt Johnny slip into your bed and the feeling made your skin crawl, you felt sick. Your heart clenched in your chest before you finally fell back into a dreamless sleep. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Threads of Desire: A Christmas to Remember - Chapter 1

Summary: After dreaming of becoming a big time fashion designer, Y/N finds herself miserable working under her best friend Maggie Greene after being in her shadow for years. Maggie has everything that she ever wanted. The job she always longed for and she's dating the man of her dreams, Negan Smith. Christmas time is said to be the most magical time of the year. Will she finally escape Maggie's shadow and get everything she ever wanted or will she realize that life may have been perfect all along with her loyal friend Daryl Dixon at her side?

Characters: (in chapter 1) Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Maggie Greene, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61111030/chapters/156141661

Warnings: Alternate universe, swearing, angst, third person reader, female reader, reader wants to be a fashion designer, New York City is where they live, Maggie is kind of a bitch in this (sorry Maggie fans), dad Negan, Christmas Themed, etc.

Notes: This Christmas story is going to be a little different than my past ones. The two main love interests in this story are Negan and Daryl. This might draw some Neggie shippers and I do want to warn you while Negan and Maggie are together in this, their relationship isn't the healthiest. I want to put that out there ahead of time. Plus, Maggie isn't the nicest of people in this story. Pre-warning.

Y/N as always meaning your name or whatever name you want to put in for this story! Thanks for checking it out! I will try to update this as often as possible on days that I don't post Love's Second Chance.

Most people strive to have the job of their dreams. A job where you could go and a full days’ worth of work would feel like nothing because you loved what you were doing that much. That was supposed to be the case for Y/N. After going to school for years to be a fashion designer, this was promised to be the job that she had always dreamt about. That’s at least what her best friend Maggie had promised her when she took the job. Maggie and Y/N had gone to school together. Even though the two of them were very different, they seemed to make good friends. At least that’s what Y/N tried to tell herself all the time. A lot of people had actually questioned how Y/N continued to have a friendship with Maggie because others viewed it as a one-sided friendship. People claimed Maggie was self-centered and selfish where Y/N would do absolutely anything for her, but it wouldn’t go both ways.

Of course Y/N would always defend Maggie. Suggesting that people didn’t know Maggie like she did. And she always used this job for example as to why Maggie was a good friend. There was often a few key details that she would leave out. That was because she knew that if she told anyone about it, they would insist Y/N drop her as a friend immediately. The problem was? During their college years together, Y/N had grown incredibly close to Maggie’s family. During those years, Maggie’s father had grown very sick and had asked Y/N to watch over Maggie because she needed some direction. Of course, she had promised to take care of Maggie for her father Hershel. Which meant she felt responsible for Maggie in some fashion after Hershel died.

The unfortunate thing is that people were right. Maggie did take advantage of their relationship. During their school years, Y/N was always the better student. Helping Maggie get through her classes. Where Y/N thrived, Maggie barely just made it through. And right when they were about to graduate, Y/N was doing everything she could to get an internship at the company Vixen. It was the hottest, rising fashion design company in New York. All throughout college, Y/N had admired the man in charge of the company. Guy Vixen was her inspiration for actually becoming a fashion designer. She loved his work and dreamt to be like him when she finally got her foot in the business.

Maggie on the other hand? She really had no direction. It seemed like Maggie was a drifter, going where the world would take her. But they both applied for an internship at Vixen. It was Y/N’s dream to work there and be able to work beside Guy Vixen. Maggie did it just for the hell of it. When Y/N was applying, Maggie was there. So it just seemed to work itself out that way. Originally? Neither one of them thought they would get a callback. It was just a dream scenario that was highly unlikely.

But? Almost immediately Maggie had gotten a call back. Guy Vixen himself wanted her to come in and do an interview with him. Y/N never received a call. It wasn’t until after she started working at Vixen that Y/N had learned that Guy never looked at people’s art first. Talent at the time didn’t matter to him. What mattered to him was someone’s social media presence. The kind of impact that they had to the world. At the time they applied? Y/N had a smaller following because she focused mainly on representing her art. Maggie had a much larger social media presence. It didn’t feature her art in any way, but it was more of a lifestyle presence. So Maggie received that call back not because of her designs, but because her personal social media account had a significant amount of followers.

Guy had decided after looking at Maggie’s social media that he liked her look. And after his interview with her? He hired her on immediately. Not as an intern, but as an actual paid employee. Back then? Y/N had gotten upset. Not because Maggie had gotten the job, but because Maggie had ‘accidentally’ made a mistake that helped her in getting that job. When Maggie went to the interview, she grabbed Y/N’s portfolio instead of her own swearing that she had confused the two. According to her, Maggie was late for the interview and just grabbed the first portfolio she saw assuming that it was hers. Because of Maggie’s look along with Y/N’s designs, Maggie had easily gotten the job.

When Y/N approached Maggie about her showing Y/N’s work as her own, Maggie insisted that she didn’t realize it until after Guy had looked at the portfolio and handed it back to her. Something about that never sat right with Y/N. Maggie explained that after Guy insisted on hiring her that she would have looked stupid if she told Guy that the designs weren’t hers. So she didn’t tell him.

After that happened? Their relationship was on shaky water. Because of that, Maggie managed to get Y/N a job at the company as well. Promised Y/N that she would be in a job where they were partners. Swore up and down that Y/N would be an important part of the company where she would be able to grow. And threw the idea of working beside Guy Vixen in her face. Of course, she would want to take that opportunity. It was her idol after all. When Maggie convinced her to take the job, she hinted that it might be possible that Y/N would be able to do even better than Maggie in the future.

Before going into the job, Maggie labeled them partners. After she accepted the job? Y/N realized that she wasn’t Maggie’s partner. No. She was Maggie’s personal assistant. And even though that infuriated her, Guy Vixen was dangled in her face. Maybe there would be that chance that he would see how hard she was working and she’d get hired on too.

Four years later? That never happened. Guy after this long didn’t even know who the hell she was and Y/N was in the same exact position she was when she got here in the business. Remaining loyal and continuing to be Maggie’s personal assistant. Guy didn’t even know her name. Nor did he look at her more than once or twice. Truthfully? Y/N felt invisible.  

In those four years? Maggie had become incredibly successful. Her position at the company was a highly sought after one and she was doing very well for herself. But? The thing that people didn’t know was that Y/N often was the reason behind Maggie’s success. Most of the time, Y/N had helped Maggie with her designs. Stirring up ideas and helping Maggie to put the final touches on things. Even though Maggie was a terrible friend, that promise Y/N had made to Hershel years ago lingered in her mind. She didn’t want to make Maggie look bad. Plus? If Maggie remained in the company, there was always a chance that someone could see that Y/N had talent too. Though? After four years, Y/N should have realized that was never happening.

What that meant for Y/N was she often did the work that Maggie didn’t want to do for the company. Which was pretty much everything except for the public events and the parties that Maggie was meant to attend. Maggie wanted the publicity and the attention. But she didn’t want to spend the time working on the things that needed to be done. Even when Maggie would have interviews for certain magazines or news sources, it was always Y/N preparing her beforehand. Creating mock interviews and answers for Maggie to memorize. And they would have to work on it for an ungodly amount of time. Just so Maggie didn’t fuck up.

At the end of the day? Y/N knew that made her pathetic. And she understood that. But she had those hopes that one day she would stand out to Guy. At first she just allowed herself to stay hidden, but over the last year or two she had been doing things in attempt to get him to notice her. Hoping that he would finally see her as a person and not some random stranger standing in his way in the middle of the hallway at the office. That hope that she would one day become something just stuck with her, so she never gave up. Hoping that one day a miracle would happen and she’d finally get credit for the designer that she was. The talent she was capable of sharing.

Today had been a very shitty day already. And it was only ten in the morning.

Y/N was exhausted. She had started work at seven. But there was so much to do before Maggie showed up in the mornings. There was almost a list of chores that would have to be done that Maggie put Y/N in charge of, every single day. If she didn’t get them done? Maggie would often have a shitty day and that wasn’t something that Y/N was keen on. Because if Maggie had a bad day? That meant that Y/N had an even shittier day. So there was never time to sit and relax. Enjoying the day only happened after work hours.

Since they had lived in the city, Maggie had fallen in love with a coffee shop that she had found the week she had gotten the job at Vixen. So that meant every morning Y/N was expected to go out and get Maggie her favorite latte at this coffee shop. Being Maggie’s personal assistant? Yeah, that pretty much made Y/N her slave. And today? The coffee shop was running behind. So that meant she had to wait in an incredibly long line before Y/N could even get to the office. Maggie’s order was also very specific, so it wasn’t like it was something that she could just get quickly. The biggest problem though? This shop was five blocks away. That meant it put Y/N completely behind on her duties for the day. Which meant she had to rush through the New York City streets once she got the latte. And it was snowing. So not only did she have to fight prime time traffic to walk through, it was so much worse because of the weather. Which meant by the time she got back to the building, she was soaked. So not only was she tired and stressed, but she was also freezing. In her rush to the office, Y/N had almost been hit by a taxi that wasn’t paying attention to pedestrians. And that made her drop her coffee so she had nothing to warm up with either.

Rushing to Maggie’s office was hard. If it wasn’t the traffic of the people on the streets or the cars, it was waiting for the elevators to get where they needed to go. The office was in one of the tallest towers in New York where they were on a higher level. Because Maggie was one of the higher up employees, there was a special elevator that she got to take that would avoid all the stops. However, for Y/N who had just a simple job with the company? That meant she had to wait at the community elevator. And that took forever too. Being smashed into a very tiny space with many people wasn’t exactly her favorite thing to do every day.

Normally, Maggie got to the office anywhere between ten and eleven. Usually, it was around quarter to eleven. So there was a hope that Maggie still hadn’t gotten back yet. Once she reached the top floor, Y/N was quick to make her way out of the elevator toward Maggie’s office. Thankfully when she reached it, she saw that it was empty which gave her a huge sigh of relief. Most everyone in the office was always busy with their own things, so they wouldn’t have noticed Y/N coming in late. They probably rarely even noticed her in the first place.

Setting Maggie’s latte aside, Y/N gathered the things that Maggie would need for the day to make sure that she was prepared. There was an important meeting that Maggie had to attend this afternoon. Once those items were together in one place, Y/N sat down and started to go through Maggie’s messages, writing down the notes that she knew would be important. When she got to the e-mails, the sound of the door to the office being pushed open was heard. That did bring a certain amount of dread to Y/N, but she didn’t pull away from what she was doing. Still being incredibly focused, Y/N just kept scrolling through.

“I have almost everything set up for you,” she felt rushed, wishing that she was done by now. Her face flushed over with a warmth and her heart started racing. Truthfully? She fully expected Maggie to start having one of her shit fits. “I am so sorry that it took me this long, but you wouldn’t believe the day that I have been having. I was…”

Mid-sentence, Y/N felt the strength of someone pulling at the arm of her chair. A shocked breath fell from her lips when the weight of someone much smaller than her jumped into her arms. Scrambling to keep them from falling, Y/N pulled them close. Their arms hooked around Y/N’s shoulders tightly. A giggle filled the air when the familiar bright green eyes of the little girl in her arms pulled back.  

“Jordyn, you scared me half to death,” she exclaimed, the first smile she had all day tugging at her lips. Wrapping her arms back around the eight-year-old, Y/N gave her a big bear hug. This little girl was someone that Y/N had met when she was just a baby. Brushing her fingers through Jordyn’s dark hair, Y/N felt a sense of joy for the first time today. “My gosh. You know, it is so good to see you! It’s been way too long. I almost couldn’t take it.”

“It’s been three days,” Jordyn reminded Y/N with a tiny laugh when she pulled back from the hug. Hopping down from the chair, Jordyn ran back around the desk into the arms of her father, Negan Smith. Picking Jordyn up, Negan groaned when he balanced her in his one free arm that he had. Stealing a quick glance at Negan had a lump developing in Y/N’s throat. “Daddy, I scared her.”

“I saw that baby girl,” Negan smirked, nuzzling his nose in against his daughters. “That’s not very nice.”

“Oh, that’s not her fault,” Y/N stood up from the chair that she was seated in to playfully tickle at Jordyn’s sides. A boisterous laugh escaped Jordyn with her burying her head at the crook of Negan’s neck. “You know three days is just way too long for me not to see you.”

“I agree,” Jordyn wiggled in Negan’s arms, her green eyes locking with Y/N’s when she kicked her feet about. “We should make this a daily thing.”

“A daily thing? Well, I wouldn’t complain about that, but I don’t know how your father would feel,” Y/N winked, her gaze finally meeting Negan’s. In that moment Negan appeared to be smiling at that interaction the girl were sharing together enjoying the way that they were talking. There appeared to be a sense of awe in his hazel eyes. “What are the two of you doing here?”  

“Daddy got breakfast and coffee for Maggie,” Jordyn explained gagging at the idea of coffee, managing to get Negan to set her back down on the ground. Looking to Negan’s other hand, Y/N’s eyes fell upon the drink carrier that he had along with the small bag that was sitting at the center of it. Lowering back down into the desk chair, Y/N nodded her head and attempted to give half of her attention back to the e-mails hoping to finish them before Maggie got here. “Daddy got me a hot chocolate. They added peppermint to it and because they said I was special they added mini marshmallows. It’s really good. They even drew Santa on the side of my cup for me.”

“No way!” Y/N worked hard to give the same kind of energy back that Jordyn was giving her, just like she had always done. Jordyn tugged at Negan’s jacket, holding her hand up for her cup and Negan set down the carrier that he had. Putting the bag beside it, Negan handed Jordyn carefully her cup and Jordyn came over to show Y/N. Observing the cup Y/N’s got wide and she wanted to look as impressed as Jordyn clearly was about the hot chocolate. “That is so cool!”

“I thought so too,” Jordyn moved in beside Y/N to look at the screen observing all the words that were on it. Behind her big green eyes, Y/N could see confusion. “Whatcha doing?”

“Just finishing up going through some of Maggie’s e-mails for her,” Y/N explained, clicking away her e-mails and turning to face Jordyn again to give her the attention she deserved. Really, she could get back to them at any time whereas she actually enjoyed the time that she spent with Jordyn.  

“Where’s Maggie? Shouldn’t that be her job?” Negan’s deep, raspy voice stammered as he made his way to the other side of the desk to take a seat on the edge of it. Yeah, it was Maggie’s job, but Y/N really wondered if Maggie knew how to do it. Turning to Negan, Y/N felt her heartrate quicken. Just the sight of Negan took her breath away. With his beautiful hazel eyes. His extremely prominent dimples. Along with his charming smile and chiseled jawline. His facial hair was salt and pepper colored. His dark hair was slightly messy from when she assumed he pulled his hat off from coming inside from the snow. And then there was his cologne. God, he smelled good.

“She should be here soon,” Y/N forced herself to look away from Negan not wanting to gawk. Motioning Jordyn to wait, Y/N got up from where she was seated to go for her bag. Coming back, Y/N lowered back into her seat and started digging into her bag. Pulling something out, she went to hand it to Jordyn. Holding it out had Jordyn’s eyes growing big. “I saw this the other day at the Christmas market in Bryant Park. I thought you would like it.”

“Oh my God,” Jordyn grabbed the nutcracker that Y/N had picked up for her and turned it to face Y/N. It was a very ugly nutcracker which was something that Jordyn had been collecting ever since she was little. Nut crackers that no one else would want to buy. “Daddy look! It’s so ugly!”

“I see that honey,” Negan laughed, reaching out to grab the present that Y/N had gotten for Jordyn. Sweeping his finger over the nutcracker made a low rumble of an amused sound fall from his throat. “What do you say?”

“Thank you Y/N,” Jordyn hopped up to give Y/N another hug. Squeezing tightly to Y/N this time, burying her head against the side of Y/N’s neck. “You’ve added more to my collection than anyone. You always find the ugliest ones.”

“I don’t know if I should be proud of that or not,” Y/N teased, patting faintly at Jordyn’s back while she held onto her. “I just know how much you love them, so I’m always sure to keep an eye out for them every Christmas.”

“You’re too kind. You know that, right?” Negan stammered from where he was seated on the edge of the desk, his hand reaching out to place in over Y/N’s shoulder. It had her turning to look at him with Jordyn still in her arms. “You should really come over to see her collection at some point. We have these shelves that we made special for her to display them. She’s very proud of it.”

“It looks amazing,” Jordyn leaned back, throwing her hands out in the air dramatically. “You gotta see it Y/N.”

“One day, I’d love to,” Y/N winked noticing the way that Negan was stroking at her shoulder before giving it a firm squeeze again.

“I know you see Jordyn all the time, but it’s been a while since I’ve gotten to really see you. You know, other than in passing when we’re switching off Jordyn. Too long really,” Negan admitted, a muscle in his jaw flexing when he let his hand drop at his side. “I used to see you all the time when you and Maggie were living together in that apartment. Ever since she moved into her new apartment in East Village, I rarely see you anymore.”

“Yeah,” Y/N swallowed down hard feeling her chest aching at the thought of Negan. Being around Negan was very hard because this was another example of what Maggie had done to be a bad friend. And everyone close to Y/N knew it. Everyone except Negan of course.

Back when they were in school, Y/N wasn’t completely sold with fashion design when she started her first year. Fashion design was something she had always told herself that she wanted. But when she was younger, she loved making movies. It was something that she had found incredibly fun and did as a hobby. And she’d do it all. Create the costumes. Make the scripts. Film. Edit. Act. Everything. It was an art that also came easy to her. Just for so long, Y/N thought she enjoyed fashion design more. So when she went to college, she made a promise to her family that she would test out the idea of maybe getting a film degree if fashion design didn’t go through. Which led her to Negan.

Negan was originally Y/N’s film professor that she had taken a class with in her first year. That was eight years ago. At the time? Y/N hadn’t really heard much about Negan. It was an intro class and most of the boys that were in the class were losing their minds before Negan got to class about who their professor was. But it wasn’t because of what he did for the film industry. No, it was because Negan was originally a professional baseball player. And apparently a very good one. For years, he thrived playing that sport up until he got a really terrible injury where he was forced to retire young. Using the money that Negan had made through the years, Negan decided to focus his time after that on creating films. He had the resources and the money to do it, so he just went for it. And? He ended up being very good at it. What he had done had caught the attention of some big names in Hollywood. Which led to Negan winning multiple awards before he even reached the age of thirty. After meeting the love of his life and getting married, Negan had settled down. Decided to work less on films and put a lot of his effort into teaching. It meant that he got to be with his wife and spend more time with her.

From the moment that Negan walked into that classroom on the first day, Y/N had the biggest crush on him. Everything about him appealed to her. Negan wasn’t like most of the professors that she had. Right from the start he had the mouth of a sailor which made him slightly more fun than the others. And he was so relaxed in the way that he taught. He took things seriously, but he made things enjoyable for people. He dressed casual, he’d interact with his students and get to know them. He was a fun professor and it didn’t hurt that he was incredibly good looking.  

Of course, there was an age gap between them, but her crush was innocent in the beginning. Negan was married. And he talked about his wife all the time. Almost every class somehow his wife Lucille would be brought into some kind of discussion. And he was so excited to talk about their daughter that they had just had. That’s probably what also made him more appealing to Y/N. How good of a father and a husband he seemed to be. She had never seen a man love something so much and it just showed in everything that he did. She found Negan very sweet and she was charmed by him.

During those years, that was the class that she looked forward to the most. And she did amazing in that class because she wanted to stand out to Negan. During that first year, they would talk all the time. Even hours after class. About the film industry. Her future plans. Negan’s family and his past. They clicked really fast. A few times after class, Negan had even introduced her to Lucille and Jordyn when they would drop by to see him. And in some classes? Negan happily brought Jordyn in with him, strapping her to his chest in her baby carrier while he taught. It was adorable.

So even though her heart was set on fashion design, she kept taking Negan’s classes because she enjoyed them so much. During the second year at school, Negan’s wife had ended up getting pancreatic cancer. Unfortunately it took her quick and Negan was devastated by the loss of his wife. He would have meltdowns at school to the point she started helping him out with his classes. And when he wouldn’t show up to classes, she would come to help him with Jordyn. That’s why she was so close to Negan and Lucille’s daughter. Jordyn was still very young when her mother died, so Y/N helped to raise Jordyn.

Eventually with her help, Negan managed to pull himself out of his depression. There was one discussion in particular that made Negan get his shit together when she made him realize that while he was in pain, Jordyn needed him. And he had to fight for her. After that time period and the dedication Y/N had put into helping Negan, they became super close. Closer than they probably should have been.

At the time, she thought they flirted constantly. They spent most days together sharing meals and taking care of Jordyn together. Jordyn had latched on pretty quickly to Y/N and Negan would pay Y/N to help take care of his daughter even though she didn’t want his money. Most months, she would collect the money and then return it to one of Negan’s jackets when he wasn’t paying attention.

During her last year of college, Negan had convinced her to be his student teacher. Around that time she was seriously considering going into film by Negan’s suggestions. He always told her that she was too good to waste her time on fashion and he promised to help her in her career. During the years they spent time together, Negan never made a move on her. And she always assumed it was because she was his student. Maybe he was just being professional. There was a hope that when she graduated, something more would have come from their relationship. There had been a few times where they had near kisses and she thought they were on the verge of having something develop between them.

One day Maggie came to see Y/N while she was working late with Negan checking papers. At the time Maggie knew how much Y/N liked Negan. Hell, she was pretty much in love with Negan. And Maggie had already met Jordyn. Especially with how often Jordyn and Y/N were actually together. But that didn’t stop Maggie from flirting with Negan the moment she entered that room. At the time, Y/N hadn’t thought much about it because even though Negan was flirting back, that really didn’t mean anything. Negan flirted with pretty much everyone. That was just the kind of personality that he had.

A few weeks later, Negan showed up to Y/N’s apartment that she shared with Maggie. There was a big bouquet of flowers in his hands. When she opened the door, her mind immediately made up all kinds of scenarios about how Negan finally realized how he felt about her and that’s why he was there. To confess his feelings for her. But instead? They were for Maggie. It devastated Y/N. After Negan left that day, Maggie promised she wouldn’t let it go any further because she knew how Y/N felt about Negan.

That promise lasted a whole three days before Y/N came home to the apartment she shared with Maggie to find Negan and Maggie having sex on the couch together. It broke her heart. The man she had been in love with over the last four years was smitten with her best friend and Maggie accomplished to snag the heart of Negan in less than a few days. After that? Her heart was broken. Maggie had done a lot of shitty things in the past, but never something this big.

More than anything Y/N wanted to run away, but she didn’t have the money to get an apartment in the city alone. So she stayed. Depression ate away at her and the passion she had for things were gone. Now she was being forced to listen to Maggie and Negan having sex all the time. And truthfully? That was so hard to take. Knowing that her best friend had landed the man that she had been in love with for four years. With Y/N being upset, Maggie tried to explain that she couldn’t help herself. Negan was just too charming and she fell hard for him. Swearing that Negan was relentless in trying to get with her. And in attempts to make Y/N feel better, Maggie insisted that Negan wasn’t really Y/N’s type anyways. That eventually she would find someone better.

So not only did Maggie get Y/N’s dream job, but she also got Y/N’s dream man too. Maggie and Negan had been dating now for over four years. And for four years, she watched the man she loved be hopelessly in love with her best friend. Even though so many times she wanted to run away, to finally give up on Maggie, the promise she made to Hershel always lingered over her head.

Now, she was Maggie’s personal assistant and she rarely saw Negan other than when she would drop Jordyn off or pick her up. Or if she had to run some kind of chore for Maggie that involved Negan. What used to be a friendship where they would hang out almost every day slowly drifted when Maggie started dating him.

“I mean it, I really miss seeing you. You should come over and we can have binge night with the little one. I’m sure she’s told you, but she’s started to get obsessed with supernatural television shows. And she’s had her eye on one for a while,” Negan winked at Jordyn before nudging faintly at Y/N’s shoulder. “I also got some cool video games that no one else will play with me. We used to play together all the time and I miss it.”

“What? Maggie doesn’t play video games with you?” Y/N wondered and immediately it drew a deep raspy laugh from Negan’s throat. Placing his hand in over the center of his chest, Negan’s nose wrinkled and he shook his head. “I’ll take that as a no?”

“That’s definitely a no,” Negan agreed with her, his dimples growing more visible with his laughter. “You know she hates that shit. Big time.”

“She always yells at daddy when he plays,” Jordyn informed Y/N with a sigh, heading over to the couch in Maggie’s office after snatching her nutcracker back from Negan. “She thinks there are better things he can do with his time.”

“Sounds like Maggie,” she admitted with a weak a smile noticing the way that Negan was staring down at her. “Is something wrong?”

“You looked soaked,” Negan replied back, outstretching his hand to touch at her hair to feel that it was wet beneath his fingertips. “What happened?”

“Oh, Maggie likes me to pick up a certain coffee for her in the morning,” she nodded toward the cup that was sitting on the desk. “It’s a shop about five blocks away. It just started snowing really bad, but I’ll be fine.”

“You’re gonna get sick,” Negan commented, getting up from the desk to pull his thick winter jacket off. Setting it aside for a minute, Negan started to pull off the red flannel shirt that he was wearing revealing a white t-shirt underneath. Motioning her to stand, she immediately shook her head and Negan hushed her. “Take the shirt off and put this on. It will keep you warm.”

“I shouldn’t,” she admitted looking to the shirt that Negan was offering her. Without further talking, Negan reached for her and pulled her up from the chair. Gasping out, she almost fell forward when Negan started to open the sweater jacket that she was wearing. Getting it off her, Negan motioned her to wait and headed over to the window where the heater was near it. Hanging it over the side, Negan moved back and motioned her to turn around. Thankfully she had been wearing an undershirt beneath that sweater. “Negan?”

“Hold your arms out,” he instructed her with a warmth flooding into her cheeks. Doing as she was told, she allowed him to pull his shirt up over her body and she let out a long sigh. Once it was on her, she immediately smelled his cologne that she had become heavily attracted to whenever she would smell it outside in public. Maybe it was because she was so attracted to Negan and that was his scent. Either way, the shirt smelled really nice and it was warm when she pulled it in closer to her. “Good?”

Instead of saying anything, she simply nodded. Turning her to face him, Negan caressed over her shoulders as if he was waiting to warm her up, “It would be really nice if you could join us for Christmas this year. I know that you’re gonna be alone and Maggie talked about it. I’d love having you come over to the house. Jordyn would love it too.”

“Yes! Very much so!” Jordyn agreed with her father, kicking her feet a bit and giving that same cheesy over the top smile that Negan would often give Y/N. Even though Jordyn had some of her mother’s features, there was so much of Negan inside of Jordyn. Both in her attitude and her physical appearance. “I have some presents for you.”

“You didn’t have to get me presents sweetheart,” she insisted with a frown, knowing that she felt strange about this whole situation.

“Of course I do,” Jordyn retorted with a firm shake of her head. “You help take care of me when daddy needs help. You always have. And you’re with me multiple times during the week. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well that just won me over,” Y/N felt a warmth flood throughout her body. Heading over to the couch, she sat down next to Jordyn and squeezed her arm tightly around Jordyn’s shoulders. “You are so special. And I love you very much.”

“I love you too,” Jordyn hooked her arms around Y/N to squeeze her tightly in her embrace. Negan was watching them from afar with a weak smile tugging at his lips. Heading over toward them, he pushed his hands into his pockets and let out a long sigh. “Daddy says it all the time too. He doesn’t know what he would do without you.”

“I’m sure he would be just fine,” Y/N suggested since their relationship was nothing like it used to be since he started dating Maggie. The only thing she was to Negan was a prominent female figure in Jordyn’s life.  And even though they weren’t together, she was still very much helping him to raise Jordyn. “He has Maggie.”

“You and Maggie are vastly different,” Negan alerted her with a tip of his head. If only he meant that in a way that would actually mean something to her. That was something that Y/N had originally wished for from the beginning. “I can count on you. Maggie is…well she’s Maggie.”

“Am I hearing my name?” a voice interrupted their conversation and it drew Negan to look back over his shoulder to see that Maggie was entering the space. Moving through the office, Maggie reached her arm out to hook it around Negan’s shoulders when he turned to embrace her. Bringing their lips together in a lingering kiss, Maggie hummed against Negan’s lips and it forced Y/N to look away. There was always that sense of jealousy that lingered when Y/N saw the two of them together. “What were we talking about?”

“How different you and Y/N were,” Negan responded truthfully, his mouth hovering over Maggie’s. A smile tugged at his handsome features before he peppered a few more kisses over Maggie’s lips. “Mhmm, I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Maggie dragged her palms down over the center of Negan’s chest. Y/N looked to Jordyn who rolled her eyes and went back to playing with the present that Y/N had gotten her. “What are you doing here babe?”

“Jordyn and I decided to bring you some breakfast,” Negan answered, nodding over toward the bag that they had brought along with the coffee. “I guess it’s more so brunch now and it may be a little cold, but…”

“That was very sweet,” Maggie brushed her fingers through Negan’s short beard, lifting up just enough to nuzzle her nose against Negan’s.

“Although, I think Y/N went out to go get you coffee. So I can probably just give the coffee to Y/N so she has something to warm herself up,” Negan gazed back at Y/N sitting with Jordyn, but Maggie grabbed Negan’s chin firmly forcing him to look at her. Kissing him a few more times, Maggie was making sure to draw it out and it had Y/N’s heart pounding inside of her chest.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I think I would love your coffee way more than anything else,” Maggie released Negan and headed over toward the latte that Y/N had gotten for her. Holding it up, she stepped on the foot lever to get the trash to open. Dropping it in the trash had Y/N’s lips parting. She wanted to say something, but instead she bit her tongue when Maggie rubbed her hands together and moved to grab the coffee that Negan had gotten for her. Of course Maggie didn’t think to give her the latte because that wasn’t the way that Maggie thought. Taking a sip, Maggie paused and by the expression over her face, Y/N knew that Maggie hated the coffee. “This is fantastic. I’m so glad that you got it for me.”

“If that’s her liking it face, I’d hate to see what her face looked like when she hated something,” Jordyn lifted up to whisper in Y/N’s ear. Both of them giggled which drew Maggie’s attention to them. How close Y/N was to Jordyn was always something Maggie was uncomfortable with after she started dating Negan. Because Maggie never bonded with Jordyn like Y/N did.

“What are you wearing?” Maggie wondered, her eyes narrowing when she observed Y/N’s body slowly. Looking down, Y/N noticed that Maggie was talking about Negan’s flannel that she was wearing. Staring at it a moment of scrutiny. “Don’t let Guy catch you wearing that. He will throw you out for the day and I need you here.”

“She was cold. She got soaked being outside,” Negan pointed out in Y/N’s direction which had Maggie looking her over more thoroughly. “So I just gave her my shirt. I thought it would be better for her to be warm instead of having her freeze. The last thing that you want is your assistant getting pneumonia.”

Cringing, Y/N hated to hear Negan refer to her as Maggie’s assistant. That was what she was though. So maybe she needed to get over that. Maggie sold it to her as her ‘partner’ but she was just a glorified slave. Embarrassment flooded her veins. Four years ago Negan thought she was good enough to sell to film studios to hire her on. Now she was working as someone’s personal assistant. He probably thought she was pathetic. Then again, he probably really didn’t think about her much to begin with.

“You always have to be so logical,” Maggie muttered, stepping forward to reach out and palm in over the side of Negan’s face. His long eyelashes fluttered leaning in closer to her to meet her halfway. Humming against his lips, Maggie smiled and then back stepped toward her desk. In just the small amount of time with Maggie being there, she had made it very obvious to stress to Y/N that Negan was hers. Setting her personal items down, Maggie moved over toward the couch to take a seat on the opposite side of Jordyn. Upon seeing the ugly nutcracker that Jordyn was playing with, Maggie’s nose wrinkled and she reached out to grab it. “I’ll never understand why you love these things so much.”

“They are so ugly,” Jordyn blurt out excitedly, kicking her feet a bit when she pointed to the nutcracker that Maggie was now observing. “They’re so ugly that they are cute.”

“I told you hun, she’s always had a thing for them,” Negan reminded Maggie getting her eyes to lift to his from where she was seated. “The uglier things are? The better for her.”

“It’s because I want to prove that even the ugliest things are loveable to someone. You can’t just leave them there for no one to buy,” Jordyn exclaimed with a frown reaching for the nutcracker from Maggie. “I like my collection.”

“I know you do baby,” Negan lowered down, outstretching his hand to brush his fingers through his daughter’s dark hair. A moment passed where all of them were silent. Clearing his throat, Negan looked to Maggie, offering up one of his charming smiles. “Are you ready for tonight?”

“What’s tonight?” confusion flooded Maggie’s green eyes and she looked to Y/N to save her. Only, Negan didn’t give her the time to do so.

“That event at the school,” Negan reminded Maggie, his head bobbing about. “We’ve only talked about it a million times. The one where potential donators come in and they get a feel for what the school can offer. We have people come in from influential jobs to talk about how their classes got them in the career they are in today. We’ve talked about it a lot hun.”

“Oh, right. That,” Maggie’s mouth parted into the shape of an o. It was obvious that Maggie was trying to come up with some kind of response. Shifting on the couch uneasily, Maggie slid further away from Jordyn and bit down on her bottom lip. “I’m sorry Negan, but an important meeting with a client came up tonight. Guy and I are supposed to meet them for dinner.”

“When did that happen?” Y/N panicked, reaching for her phone to pull out her calendar. “I have nothing in the schedule.”

“It only was just confirmed with me when I was on the elevator to get up here,” Maggie explained to Y/N, holding her hand out to get Y/N to lower her phone down. “Guy was on the elevator at the same time and he reminded me of it. It’s a very important client and he wants me to be there.”

“Maggie,” Negan frowned, his jaw flexing and visible disappointment filled his hazel eyes. “You knew about this. About how important this was for the school. You were one of the big names on the list for people.”

“And I’m sorry this turned out the way it did, but work is more important,” Maggie stressed to Negan throwing her arm about in the air while she spoke. “I’d love to go to this with you because you know how much I love going places with you, but this is one thing I can’t get out of. You’re a big enough name.”

“But I’m for the film department. You were supposed to be the lead for the fashion department Maggie. That’s two totally different areas. People coming for that aren’t gonna wanna see me,” Negan stressed, standing up slowly. His hands pressed in over his hips, his body language showing that he was unhappy. “If you were gonna cancel, you should have told me long before today. That way I could have gotten someone that could replace you.”

“I can’t help it Negan,” Maggie defended herself placing her hand in over the center of her chest, her head shaking swiftly from side to side. “This only came about today. If I would have known that it was going to happen, I would have told you.”

A grunt escaped Negan’s lips and he rolled his eyes. A muscle was flexing at the corner of his jaw as it often would when he would get irritated or angry with someone. Maggie was waiting for some kind of response from Negan, but at this point? She wasn’t getting it.

“You know how it is Negan. Around Christmas time, my job gets really busy,” Maggie tried to defend herself realizing that she was losing in her defense with her last-minute cancelation. Looking around the room, Maggie’s green eyes locked with Y/N’s and she gasped. Snapping her fingers, she got Negan’s attention and pointed at Y/N. “Make Y/N go instead! She works here too. She knows my job inside and out. I guarantee she would be able to give the speech.”

“Maggie, they wouldn’t want me,” Y/N responded immediately realizing that she was a no-name. Whereas people actually knew who Maggie was. Sure, she knew the speech inside and out because she had written it for Maggie. As well as made a pdf along with a video for Maggie to share. There was no question that she knew this whole thing more than Maggie ever did, but that didn’t excuse that no one would want her over Maggie. “I’m a no one. No one even knows my name.”

“But you work hand-in-hand with me,” Maggie countered, standing up from the couch. Waving her hand back and forth between Negan and Y/N, Maggie was desperately trying to get the two of them to agree. “Y/N, you know that you knew this stuff.”

“She might have something to do tonight,” Negan stressed, shaking his head. It was obvious that he was still upset with Maggie. “This is very last-minute Maggie. For me, for her.”

“She never has anything she has to do,” Maggie defended herself and it had Y/N huffing out. Looking to Jordyn, Y/N noticed that Negan’s daughter was just watching the whole situation play out in front of her. “Come on Y/N. You know just as well as I do that if I need you, no matter what you are available.”

“It’s my job,” Y/N stressed to Maggie who grumbled under her breath and then lowered her head into her hand. With how Negan was reacting to things, it was obvious that Negan didn’t think she was a good enough replacement for Maggie. “He doesn’t want me there.”

“That’s…that’s not true,” Negan replied back with a sense of empathy over what she just said. “I don’t mind you coming, but…”

“Then it should be fine,” Maggie interrupted him so she could stop any worries or negative thoughts about the idea that she came up with. “All we have to do is have her replace me. I assure you that the speech is going to be great.”

“I don’t think you’re realizing why this is upsetting to me,” Negan grumbled under his breath noticing that Maggie didn’t seem to realize where the problem was. “I don’t have a problem with her stepping in. My problem here is that we promoted you. People are going to expect you to be there. And dropping out of things last second is not really cool Maggie.”

“Oh no, I understand that,” Maggie assured him, stepping to him and placing her hand in over the center of Negan’s chest getting their eyes to lock. “I understand that I will have to make it up to you. And if I didn’t have this last-minute meeting, I wouldn’t be doing this to you.”

“A lot of people are going to be disappointed,” Negan thought aloud, lowering his stare to watch Maggie stroking at the center of his chest. It didn’t take much to see that gradually Negan was getting less angry with Maggie. Sighing loudly, Negan shrugged his shoulders with his eyebrows bouncing up. “You do owe me Maggie.”

“And I intend to follow through,” Maggie whispered lifting her hand to tap lightly at Negan’s nose. Tugging at Negan’s jacket, Maggie got him to lower down enough so she could steal another kiss from his lips.

Separating, Negan sighed loudly and looked to Y/N. Throwing his hands up in the air, he seemed at a loss for words, “Are you available to replace Maggie tonight? If you came to the event, it would help me out. Having someone to talk is better than having no one to talk. I’d owe you one.”

The look in his hazel eyes were almost pleading and it made Y/N’s throat go dry. Giving a small nod of her head, Y/N knew that she couldn’t turn Negan down when he was asking her for a favor, “I’ll find a way to make time.”

“I’ll text you over the details as soon as I can. Thank you for doing this Y/N,” Negan stammered, his dimples prominent while he thought of something more to say. “I just have to find a way to make it make sense to the board.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal honey,” Maggie reached out to squeeze over Negan’s shoulders and then headed back toward her desk. Negan went to say something to bicker back with Maggie, but the way he slouched forward showed that he knew that it would have been useless to do so anyways.

“I think me and Jordyn are gonna take off. We are supposed to meet one of her friends at Bryant Park for some ice skating,” Negan informed the two of them, reaching out to help Jordyn up from the couch. “We’ll make sure to drop this guy off first though so we can make sure he can be with rest of your collection.”

“Thank you again!” Jordyn boasted, running to Y/N to give her another big hug. “You always have the best gifts.”

“And you always give the best hugs,” Y/N hummed, giving Jordyn one final big squeeze. Standing up from the couch, Y/N gave Negan a nod not sure how she should say goodbye to him at this point. When they were close, they were hugging all the time. Now, it just felt awkward. “I hope you both have a good time.”

“Oh, I’m sure she will,” Negan curled his arm around his daughter’s shoulders pulling her in closer to him. “Thanks again Y/N.”

“I’ll call you tonight after everything,” Maggie waved goodbye to both Negan and Jordyn as they worked their way out of her office. There was a fake smile plastered over Maggie’s features when they looked back at her from where they were standing by the elevator. Once they were on the elevator and it was closed, Maggie finally relaxed and slouched forward. Looking to the latte that Negan had gotten her, Maggie groaned and shoved it out toward Y/N. “Take this. I don’t want it.”

“Well I don’t want it after you’ve drank from it,” Y/N muttered, her eyes looking down toward the cup with disgust. “We’re close Maggie, but I’m not really interested in sharing germs with you.”

“Oh please, my germs are perfect,” Maggie pushed the drink further toward Y/N who had to grab the cup otherwise it may have spilled everywhere. “I don’t care what you do with it. Just throw it away. That was disgusting. I can’t believe you allowed me to throw away my other latte for that.”

“Maggie, I can’t make you do anything,” Y/N countered moving over toward the trash to throw away the latte that Maggie no longer wanted. Almost immediately after throwing out the latte, Y/N gasped when Maggie threw her the bag of food that Negan had brought for her. Luckily she caught it after fumbling with it for a moment. “You want me to throw this away too?”

“You can eat it. I already had breakfast,” Maggie explained searching for something in one of her drawers. “I’m sure you haven’t eaten yet, so it’s perfect for you.”

“Thanks Maggie,” Y/N set the bag on the corner of Maggie’s desk. Moving over toward the couch, Y/N knew that her laptop was on the coffee table that was in front of it and there were a lot of things she had to get started on.

A loud, exaggerated gasp was heard making Y/N jump when she looked to Maggie who had shot up from the seat that was at her desk, “Damn it Y/N! Couldn’t you have at least wiped off the seat? We should have gotten you a towel or something with how wet you were.”

“Sorry Maggie,” Y/N apologized, fighting hard to avoid rolling her eyes at her overreaction.

“And you didn’t even get through all the e-mails?” Maggie stammered provoking a long sigh from Y/N in response. Great, today was obviously headed for a shitty day. “You’re slacking a little bit.”

“It took longer to get back to the office this morning with this storm and walking,” Y/N explained, getting comfortable on the couch and preparing her laptop. “Also, Negan and Jordyn showing up distracted me for a few.”

“Those sound like excuses Y/N,” Maggie suggested, tapping her fingers on the desk. Suddenly it felt like Y/N was being scolded by someone of authority and like Y/N was a child. “You know what I say. If you have to make excuses about things not being done it means that you’re not taking your job seriously and I need you to take it seriously.”

“I’m not being dismissive with my job, Maggie. I assure you I’m taking things very seriously,” Y/N declared with an uncomfortable sound. It felt like her throat was closing up with Maggie’s green eyes still staring out at her. “What do you want me to say Maggie?”

“I want you to tell me it won’t happen again,” Maggie stressed and it had Y/N faintly laughing. “Is that funny? You know that you only have this job because you were my best friend Y/N. I could probably find someone that is more eager to have this job.”

“No, it’s not funny at all,” Y/N bit down on her bottom lip, getting angry that Maggie was now threatening her position over a few unanswered e-mails. Maggie would be lost without Y/N. So even the idea that Maggie would threaten her job was amusing in itself. “Sorry Maggie, I’ll make sure to get things done faster from here on out.”

“See to that,” Maggie breathed, her eyes going back to the screen to skim over the things that were still left on the computer.

From the couch Y/N stared out at Maggie. After four years at this company, Y/N didn’t even have a desk. She did most of her work from Maggie’s couch or used Maggie’s desk whenever she wasn’t there. Even though Maggie had gotten her this job where they were supposed to be partners, they weren’t even close.

In this moment, it was hard not to consider life and her choices. A promise to Maggie’s father had caused Y/N to become a slave to her best friend. One where she did all the work to make Maggie look good. All Maggie was in this company was a face. Y/N wasn’t really sure what Maggie really did other than share what were mostly Y/N’s designs and ideas. Y/N did everything for Maggie and she didn’t even make a quarter of what Maggie did in terms of salary.

There were moments where Y/N considered if she should really keep putting up with this. Putting all her efforts and talents into Maggie when she didn’t get any recognition whatsoever. Why had she wasted this much time doing this to begin with? For some reason today, everything was just hitting Y/N harder and it was stressing her out more than normal.

There was a knock at the door that drew both of them to look up. Guy Vixen stood at the door, gazing upon Maggie. As always, the owner of the company was dressed in something unbelievably expensive. Vibrant colors added emphasis to his look making sure to always have him stand out. Guy was originally an English model that took advantage of the sources he had and became one of the most successful fashion designers in the world. No matter when you saw Guy, his appearance was always perfect. His nails nicely manicured. His dark hair gelled to perfection. You couldn’t miss him in a crowd. That was for sure. Not just because he was a good-looking guy, but also because he wouldn’t let you miss him. He had to be the center of attention no matter where he was.

“Well don’t just look at me with those doe eyes. Are you ready?” Guy had been holding the door open, his hand waving at Maggie to get up.

“Of course,” Maggie stood up quickly, fixing the dress that she was wearing. Smoothing it over her hips, Maggie moved around the desk and gave a big smile. “Let me grab my notes.”

Watching Maggie’s movements, Y/N knew that in the corner of the room was the drawings for the presentation that Maggie was supposed to do. Yesterday they had talked about them since Y/N had finished them off for Maggie, but it seemed like Maggie was oblivious to them.

“You,” Guy snapped his fingers at Y/N to get her attention. Well that was a first. Usually Guy was oblivious to her existence. Now? Guy’s brown eyes were gazing her over and she felt her heartrate quicken. Suddenly Maggie’s warning was repeating in her mind about what she was wearing. “What are you wearing?”

Damn, Maggie was right. Looking down, Y/N tugged at Negan’s shirt that he had given her to wear in order to warm up, “It’s flannel?”

“Cute,” Guy simply stated, his head tipping to the side. A surprised expression flooded Maggie’s features that Guy would even say something like that to begin with. “It’s very vintage.”

“Thank you,” Y/N offered up a weak smile, not sure how to respond since that wasn’t the response that she was expecting.

“You ready?” Maggie outstretched her hand to grab a hold of Guy’s arm.

“Yes darling, let’s go,” Guy started to lead Maggie away, but Y/N cleared her throat.

“Maggie,” Y/N called out to Maggie who looked frustrated that Y/N would even call out to her in the first place. “Are you forgetting something?”

“What could I possibly be for…” Maggie started, but Y/N nodded over toward the corner of the room where the materials for the presentation were. A sudden realization flooded through Maggie and she swiftly headed over toward that corner to grab everything. “Yes. You were right. Wouldn’t want to forget these.”

As they were leaving the room, Y/N started to go back to work only to hear Guy whisper, “Who was that again?”

“It’s my assistant,” Maggie muttered under her breath and hearing that made Y/N let out a tense, muted laugh. And there it was. The true label that Maggie had always planned out for her. Y/N was a fool to assume anything else. And each day only proved to her how she was going to be stuck in this very role until the end of time.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976​ @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @pixelb4rbie @ibelongtonegan

@smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan

@redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted

@akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03

@sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf

@promiscuousbarnes @tone-stark @lanadelnegan @peachihellcat

[leighsartworks216]

... Oops

Harvey x gn!Farmer

Had this thought when I remembered I had to take my meds tonight. I just think it would be nice to have someone who takes care of you when you're a bit stupid and forget to take very important meds 👉👈

Also, Baja Blast is the actual name of my blue chicken lmao

Also also, this is written in third person POV instead of my usual second person POV

Warnings: swearing, dizziness, anxiety, possibly OOC Harvey

Word Count: 1,592

Masterlist

AO3

Harvey rubbed at his eyes as he slipped out of bed, glancing absentmindedly at the empty space beside him. The farmer was already up, of course. He worried for them when he realized how early they woke up each day, but it couldn't be helped if they wanted to take care of their farm all in one day.

He adjusted his glasses on his face as he shuffled to the kitchen. A cup of hot coffee sat on the counter waiting for him, as it always was. He smiled to himself. Fresh coffee from beans they grew themselves always tasted better than anything Gus could ever dream of making. It was perfectly bitter and smooth as he gulped it down.

He looked out the window of the cabin that overlooked the field left to the farmer by their grandfather. There weren't any unwanted stumps, logs or boulders anymore. Fences penned in the animals as they meandered about, munching on fresh grass. The crops were already watered. The scarecrows teetered slightly in the breeze, the fabric of their gloves almost appearing to wave back at him. He always enjoyed the one that resembled an animated movie character - the farmer had been so proud of it when they stuck it into the ground.

His eyes scanned the paths and fences, searching for his partner.

Hm, they must be in one of the barns.

He stared out a while longer, hoping to catch a glimpse as they came out. A concerned frown etched its way onto his face, but he tried writing off the anxiety swarming in his gut. They're probably just refilling the feeders or refilling their kegs or... Really, it's nothing to get worried about. They knew what they were doing! As long as they stayed out of those damn mines, he had nothing to worry about.

He sighed, shaking his head to remove the flood of worried thoughts in his head. Downing the last of the coffee and placing the mug in the sink, he went off to the bathroom to get ready for a day in the clinic.

He peeked out the window again after he got out of the shower. A blue chicken - a gift from Shane the farmer had named Baja Blast - clucked cheerily as it walked out of the open gate. The farmer usually kept the gates closed, always worrying about coyotes or foxes coming to eat their precious hens. It was unusual for them to keep it open, even if they were inside the coop.

He bustled about in a slight rush to get dressed and gather his things for work, namely a giant thermos of coffee and a lunch prepared for him waiting in the fridge, before slipping out of the cabin. He set it all down on a rocking chair sitting on the porch, creaking in the wind.

Baja Blast clucked up at him as he scooped her into his arms. “C’mon, you shouldn’t be out here. All your food is in here,” he says to the chicken as he steps through the gate and closes it behind him. With a cursory glance back, it didn’t seem like any other chickens got out. He couldn’t remember how many his partner had anymore. He had no idea how in the world they kept up with chickens, ducks, goats, sheep, cows, and pigs on one farm alone. It made his head spin trying to guess how they kept their head on straight with so much to do.

He set Baja Blast down with a white chicken, Madame Clucks. She went back right to pecking away at the grass.

Harvey set his hands on his hips as he looked around. Even out here, he couldn’t see the farmer. Okay, how he was worried. His hands fidgeted anxiously as he stumbled in his loafers through the soft dirt to the coop door. If they weren’t in here, he’d have to check the other barns. And if they weren’t in the barns, he’d have to call Marnie or Shane, or, Yoba forbid, Marlon at the Adventurer’s Guild, just in case they really had slipped off to the mines without telling him. But what if they weren’t in the mines? He’d have to call- Yoba, who could he call? Everyone? Ask if they’ve seen the farmer around today? It wasn’t even 8am, nobody would be up and about to know if they’d gone through town.

He pushed open the door, a bit harder than he meant to as some chickens lingering inside bawk’d and spooked away, leaving feathers in their wake. He couldn’t even focus on that. His eyes immediately landed on the figure sitting on the chest by the mayonnaise machine. They were hunched over and holding their head.

“Farmer!” Harvey rushed forward, all the old anxiety quickly replaced with a thousand more fears. He knelt down by them and rested a hand on their shoulder, looking at them with wide eyes. From this angle he could see their eyes were closed, face pinched in discomfort. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

They shook their head. “‘M just lightheaded. I bent down to grab the eggs and I got really dizzy.”

He pressed the back of his hand to their forehead, brushing back some hair as he pulled away. “You’re not running a fever.” He let out a hesitant breath of relief. “Do you think you can stand?”

After a moment, they nodded. Harvey stood up and supported them as they stood. They wobbled on their feet, but he wrapped an arm around their waist to steady them.

“Easy now. Let’s get you back inside.”

“What about-”

“Don’t you dare put your farm over your own wellbeing,” he warned. “I can call Shane and see if he’ll take over for the day.”

The farmer sighed, relenting. He knew how much peace they found tending to everything themselves, despite how overwhelming it seemed on the outside. They had a whole process for everything, and they’d explained before just how much of the simpler tasks they’d automated with sprinklers and some of Maru’s machines. Still, he was absolutely not about to let them go right back to work when they can barely stand up without a light breeze threatening to knock them over.

Harvey opened the gate and helped them through, shooing Baja Blast back inside as he shut the gate again. His partner gave an undignified snort at the offended squawk she let out. “At least you feel well enough to laugh.”

“Like I said, Harv, I’m just dizzy.” They leaned heavily into him as he led them along the paths to the cabin. Their feet hung up on uneven stones and the stairs leading to the door more than once.

“Dizziness is a symptom of something else. I just want to make sure it really is nothing serious.”

“I know you do.” They offered him a slight smile, but it quickly soured to a frown as they shut their eyes again with a frown. “Yoba, it feels like the whole world is spinning.”

“We’re almost there.” The line would have been less out of place if this wasn’t their home that they knew as well as they knew the names of all their animals, but they were too out of it to point it out and Harvey was too in his own head to notice it. So they stumbled together through the house to the large two-person bed.

The farmer laid down with a whine, pressing the balls of their hands to their eyes. “How is this worse somehow?” they groaned.

Harvey pressed a comforting hand to their shoulder. “Did you eat breakfast this morning?” They hummed affirmatively with a nod. “When did you get back home last night?”

“Like… 1? 1:40?”

He sighed, scratching his brow with his thumb. That was a conversation for later. “Did you take your meds?”

The silence was deafening. They covered their whole face with their hands with a muffled, “Fuck, I’m stupid.”

“So you didn’t take your iron?”

They shook their head but regretted it immediately after, uncovering their face with a grimace. Their hands plopped pathetically to the bed beside them. “No, I completely forgot. I was trying to run back from the beach after fishing all night - I must have been so tired it just slipped my mind.”

He let out a long sigh. “At least it’s nothing serious. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“‘M sorry, Harvey.”

“It’s…” He frowned at the idea of saying ‘okay’. As a doctor, he really couldn’t brush off not taking prescribed medication, especially with a partner with such a severe case of anemia. He’d protest against them running a farm at all if they weren’t so determined. “We’ll figure out a better system, okay? We can put them in a pill-minder and keep them on your nightstand.”

They nodded. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

That shocked a laugh out of him. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to their forehead, his mustache scratching their skin in a familiar way. “Of course - that is my job after all. Now sit tight, I’ll grab your supplements and call Shane. Anything he needs to know about?”

“Just make sure he pets all of the animals. They deserve daily pats.”

“I’ll make sure he knows,” he chuckled fondly as his footsteps began their retreat from the bedroom to the house beyond.

“I love you!”

His warm laugh rang out again, echoed against the wood Robin nailed together and the photos on the walls. “I love you, too!”

[midnightjewel]

Plushy Surgery

Did the puppy get to your favorite plushy when you weren’t paying attention?

A/N: this is a very real thing that just happened to me I swear I was sobbing. My Jack Russell (bless his heart) thought that my weighted pink Dino was one of his toys and now my Dino is missing a tail. So poor Strawberry Lemonade will have to be a brave boy and go into surgery. Anyway! Enough of my oversharing!

Kirishima x Fem! Reader

I can do more parts with more characters!

You and your husband had recently gotten an Australian Shepard named Riot. He was a cute puppy, don’t get me wrong! But, he was very mischievous as well.

It had been about 4 months and he was doing very well with his potty training. There was a few mishaps here and there but all it was at this point was just you and Kirishima trying to find out his schedule and what times he particularly likes to go outside.

Riot was basically you guys child. You two didn’t have kids yet so he was the perfect first step until you two decided you were ready to discuss that topic. But because Riot was the puppy son of pro hero Red Riot and his spoiled little wife, that meant Riot got spoiled rotten. Any toy, treat, or accessories you wanted him to have is what he got. He had a little basket full of bandanas to wear and he even had his own little pajamas and a shark bath towel!

But nothing could compare to the massive bucket of toys that sat in your living room. That dog was living the absolute dream, a big house with a pool and a huge backyard, all of the meat and treats he could ever want, and any dog toy he could think of was right at the tip of his paw!

Riot was so well behaved! Well… most of the time…

You we’re cooking up some chicken and rice for dinner and according to the time on your phone it was 7:30 so that meant it was 30 minutes until your husband got off of work.

You were a bit nervous about leaving Riot slightly unsupervised while you cooked but it had to get done! You turned bluey on in the living room and you thought he would stay still because he loves that show. But Riot was learning how to climb the stairs as of recently so you were keeping your ears open for that.

As you checked on the rice you heard and felt your phone buzzing on the counter next to you. As you glanced over at the screen you saw that it was your husband. Of course, you always thought the worst so you immediately picked up.

“Kiri?” You inquired as you picked up the phone fearing it was one of his sidekicks and he had gotten into an accident or something

“Hi baby!” He spoke cheerfully “I’m alright! I hear the tone of your voice” he reassures you

“Oh ok” you breathe out in relief “So what’s up?” You ask him as you keep an eye on the stovetop

“Well I ran out of body soap last night and I was going to pick some up on my lunch break but I was swamped with paperwork” he tells you “So essentially what I’m asking is do you need anything while I’m at the store?”

“Oh I could’ve picked it up for you” you tell him “But actually, I’m running low on my sugar scrub can you pick one up for me?” You ask

“Of course baby! I’ll see you soon! I love you and Riot!”

That’s when your stomach dropped. Riot…

You hadn’t heard him walking around the kitchen looking for scraps

“Okay! We love you too!” You quickly hang up the phone and call out for the puppy “Riot?!” You peer into the living room bluey was on the tv but there was no sign of Riot.

“Riot!” You called out once again and you heard his paws practically jumping down the staircase to see his mommy. “Oh there you are” you sighed in relief “Wait.. what do you have in your mouth?!” You saw a indigo fabric that looked all too familiar

You got him to give you the piece of fabric and then you dashed up the stairs only to find that you had left your bedroom door open and your beloved shark… the one Eijirou had bought for you for your first Valentine’s Day together… it was slightly destroyed…

It was missing a fin that you were holding and it’s tail was halfway hanging off of his body. Your stomach was a pit as you picked up all of the stuffing and the pieces of small fabric off of the hardwood floor.

You brought it back downstairs and showed Riot what he had done and boy did he look guilty! As much as you hated to be stern with him, he wasn’t going to learn otherwise.

“Riot no! This is not Riot’s Toy!” You scolded him as you walked over to the toy basket “This is Riot’s toy!” You firmly state as you hand him a plush of a popsicle with a squeaker

You quickly bagged up all of the pieces to poor Mr Cuddles and continued to work on dinner. It was on low heat so luckily, nothing burned. You couldn’t help but notice how the un-involuntarily tears pricked your eyes.

Some people would say “it’s just a stuffed animal” but it wasn’t just a stuffed animal. It was an object that you cherished and loved. It had sentimental value.

As you began to plate the food and get drinks out of the fridge you heard the front door become unlocked and opened followed by Riot’s happy barking and squealing signaling that his father was home

“Hey gorgeous” he set his grocery bags down on the countertop and urgently came to kiss your lips as if he hadn’t done that just before he left for work. To be fair, it felt like an eternity being away from you.

“Hey” you tried your best to mask your sadness but of course he saw right through that. Could you blame him? You two had been together for almost 10 years now and married for 5 of them.

“What’s wrong?” He gently tilted your head to look up at him with a warm smile. “Well Riot broke Mr. Cuddles” you tell him as you point to the bag that was holding the contents of your stuffed shark

“Oh I see” he examined the broken plush “I’m sorry that happened” he pulled you into an embrace. “Tell you what, I’ll make some calls and we’ll get this fixed” he rubbed your back and you nodded in response

“Let’s eat” you smile at him “You’re probably hungry from saving the city all day” you pat his forearm as you hand him his plate to take to the dining room

Kirishima had gotten ahold of Bakugo and he was fortunately willing to fix it. Growing up with his mom as a fashion designer had its perks.

“Hey man” you hear your redhead husband talking to his best friend on the phone.

“What do you want it’s 10 o’clock!” The blonde scolded his friend

“Yeah I know it’s past your bedtime but I need a huge favor” he pleaded with Bakugo

After a deep sigh from the blonde he responded “go ahead”

“Thanks man! Can you sew good?” Kirishima inquired and the ash blonde laughed

“Can I sew? Is your hair unnatural? I’ll answer that for you! Yeah I can fucking sew and I’m pretty damn good at it!”

“Awesome! The dog got to (Name)’s plush and it desperately needs to be fixed. I’ll pay you!”

“No, shut up, there’s no need for that. Just drop it off in my office tomorrow morning and I’ll fix it on my lunch break”

———————————

After cleaning up dinner, getting showered, and ready for bed you two could finally settle down for the night. “Riot come up” Eijirou patted the bed and made kissy noises for the puppy to jump onto the king bed. After spinning in a few circles he finally settled down.

“Goodnight honey” you smile and kiss Eijirou as you turn off your bedside lamp. “Goodnight sweet girl” he smiles and turns his off as well.

As you turned over to sleep you felt Kirishima grab his phone off of his nightstand. It was a habit of his to go on his phone before bed and you didn’t mind but you knew that could never work for you. You needed to distance yourself from the phone if you wanted to get some rest.

But something just felt wrong. You weren’t holding onto your shark. To be fair, you had slept with it for almost ten years now. You tried to subtly get comfortable but you just couldn’t. You knew you couldn’t sleep with it, it was broken and you didn’t want to risk breaking it even more in your sleep.

“I can’t sleep” you sigh out into the open as you turn your head around to look at your husband who just smiles and shakes his head while grabbing the remote “come cuddle and watch some tv maybe that’ll make you sleepy” he pulls you close to him so that you’re laying your head on his chest “I’m probably not as good as Mr Cuddles but I assure you, I’m the next best thing” he rubs your back gently

“You’re the best” you smile at him as you feel yourself becoming sleepy

[lias-writings]

The making of The Last of Us

pairing: bella ramsey x fem!reader

warnings: kissing, established relationship, pet names, fluff, mention of hickeys, little jealousy

summary: just a few cute moments shared between you and your partner bella during the filming TLOU<33

a/n: hi! so sorry I couldn’t pos this sooner but here we are, I had a really hard week and i finally managed to finish this today anyway thanks to everyone who voted it was helpful, I hope you have a nice day/night and im going to sleep, love ya, enjoy!! <3

masterlist

before you two started dating:

you and bella were the only people around your age during most of the filming a spending 3 months together filming and still had like 8 more to go you just grew closer and gained sort of feelings for each other. both of you were too shy to admit something and the fear of making things awkward wasn’t really handy.

when pedro after weeks finally made bella confess to you, you couldn’t be happier, you were about to spend another months with your now partner working on a tv show you’ve grown to love- what a dream, right?

~~~~~~~

“get a room”

you were sitting on the grass, near the set, enjoying the sun. you haven’t seen much of it while working in canada so you were grateful for every sunny day.

re-reading your lines for scene you were supposed to film next and making sure you remember them correctly you heard footsteps behind you. you didn’t even had to look and you already knew who that is.

feeling two hand wrapping around your waist made it even more obvious to you.

“hi.” bella whispered in your ear gently. you could swear you heard his smile.

“hey.” you said back.

“what are doing love?” they asked while you turned your head to face them

“just reading the lines.” you answered holing eye contact with her and after few seconds of looking at each other with heart eyes and stupid smiles you felt his lips kissing your and you kissed back, almost immediately.

little kisses turned into a make out session but you two still held a little back, knowing anyone could be walking around.

after few seconds you felt bella’s hands back on your waist so instinctively put yours around their neck.

“jesus! seriously, get a room, you two are making single people cry.”

and that was all it took you and bella to open your eyes and almost jump from each other (you would if y’all weren’t sitting ofc).

“pedro, I swear to god, grow up!” you yelled with a smile creeping on your face. bella just chuckled and shook her head in amusement.

“yeah, yeah whatever, now get up we have a work to do, you can make out later.” the man said and started walking towards the set, which was few meters away.

~~~~~~~~~

me? jealous? never!

a/n: lily’s not an actual actress from tlou I completely made her up for the story !! she/her pronouns used for lily :)) oh!! and bcs the 2nd most voted was jealous!bella hear is a short one and longer, better, is on its way !!!

so you and bella have been dating for a few months and everything is great. a few weeks ago you started filming new episode, which means new people on the set. you got friends with a girl named lily, who’s playing a background character and it’s going good so far.

you would never claim yourself as an oblivious person, you always could tell when people tried to hit on you, but this time, you were completely blind.

lily had a crush on you even before you started filming but seeing you in person made her fall for you even more. she knew you were in relationship with bella (I mean you two made it really obvious) and she knew it was wrong from her to like you but she couldn’t help herself.

she started with just small talks with you during the breaks or between each takes, she would even became friends with bella.

after few days she asked you to hang out, you being a perfect gf obviously told bella, who didn’t really mind because lily seemed nice to them as well.

after few weeks of your friendship with lily bella finally figured out what’s all this about but he didn’t want to seem possessive so she haven’t said anything.

they even wouldn’t if you weren’t completely oblivious and didn’t keep on hanging out with lily.

you of course noticed that bella has been more affectionate when people were around and that they haven’t been as nice to lily as they used to. (not that lily was nice to bella, she sort of ignored them whenever you were around)

“don’t you see that? she’s totally into you!” bella said not really calmly after you confronted her about her behaviour.

“what are you talking about? bella, she’s my friend.” you answered confused.

“she doesn’t wants to be friends with you, the way she looks at you, touches your arms whenever you’re around, or when she’s flirting with you? in front of me? that’s not friendship.” bella says back as if it was completely obvious. (it was)

“bella i-wait, are you jealous?”

“me? jealous? never.”

and that’s when it hit you. bella might be an amazing actor but they can’t lie (at least not to you). you also realised that he was right the whole time. looking back you couldn’t believe you were so blind, maybe you wanted to believe that she’s your friend so bad, you didn’t see the rest of it.

in the upcoming time you made sure that lily gets the hint that you are not interested in her and that you would never choose anyone over bella. (i mean who would, it’s bella)

bella also made sure that lily gets the hint by covering your neck (not just the neck but mainly) in blue and purple bruises, not that it was handy while filming ( your makeup artist wasn’t happy and you better believe that) but it fulfilled its purpose.

a/n: btw!! I might do something like this in future again, i had fun writing it!!

[fyodoro]

𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧’ 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧’ - 𝐃𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐧𝐠

-> Dan Heng comforting his quiet s/o after they have a nightmare (req by @minimallyminnie)

-> I wanted to write this in a different way from all my other fics. I feel like most nightmare comfort fics have rose tinted lenses over them, so I wanted to take a different approach while also keeping a comfort factor.

Cw) nightmares (obv), implied/hinted ptsd, misunderstandings, nightmare remains vague so no spoilers here, cheating accusations, eventual comfort i swear (sorry minnie)

Dan Heng wouldn't say he sleeps good per say, but he wouldn't say he slept horribly either. Perhaps if he wasn't so alert in his sleep, he'd be able to wake up the next morning and tell March "I slept great."

But that wasn't to say he wanted to rid of that sense of alertness, not at all. In fact, in times like these, he was ever so grateful for training himself the way he has.

You stirred ever so slightly in your sleep. It was brief and quiet, but not to Dan Heng. He always focussed on your movements when you were near. From your body language, to the way you faintly tilted your head when something piqued your interest.

With all the attention Dan Heng given you, it was safe to say he had you memorized.

And the way you were currently stirring in the midst of your slumber was out of character.

It was brief at first, nothing that concerned the young man too much. But his concern grew just as gradual as your distressing movements.

What started as a light shake of the head soon turned into your body violently shaking as you clutched your pillow for dear life. Dan Heng watched over your sleeping frame cautiously, refraining from causing you any more panic incase you were to wake up.

It didn't take a genius to realize you were having a nightmare.

Soft cries emitted from your lips, almost inaudible. But to Dan Heng, they were as loud as the Astral Express making the jump.

He wanted to wake you up, he really did.

But he was aware of the risks of waking someone up from a nightmare, especially someone with your condition. It could be jarring, even making the episode worse in some cases.

He knew it was best to let you wake up on your own, but it didn't stop the way his heart clenched each time you hugged your pillow tighter than before.

“Dan Heng…”

His ears perked up at the sound of his name, were you… dreaming about him? No, it wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare, that was made clear since his senses heightened.

But why would you be calling his name out in the midst of a nightmare?

“Dan Heng!” You jolted up, eyes wide and full of terror. You were panting heavily, as if you had just ran a marathon.

Dan Heng stayed near, examining your features just as he did many times before. He wanted to hold you, comfort you, tell you everything was going to be okay.

But he couldn’t.

If you had been having a nightmare about him, wouldn’t that be the last thing you wanted? The way you shook and avoided his gaze made him believe that was the case.

“I’m… I’m so sorry.” Dan Heng muttered under his breath. He knew deep down he didn’t do anything wrong, but he still felt the need to apologize for whatever his actions caused in your sleeping mind.

You didn’t respond. You were no longer panting however, rather, shaking anxiously. A chill ran up your spine.

It was a warm night.

“You- what did you—“ Your eyebrows furrowed, staring into the dimly lit void in front of you. “You didn’t… right? You couldn’t have…” Ah

Was he sure this wasn’t his own nightmare now?

“I was going to tell you… one day… I can’t run from it, can I?” His voice held hostility. Not to you, but rather, himself. He knew he would have to tell you his origins one day. But he never expected your own consciousness to tell you first.

“You were going to tell me what? That you were cheating on me?” Your voice cracked, refusing to believe that it wasn’t just a nightmare.

“What…?”

“Yeah, you can’t run from that, can you.”

“(Name) wait, you’ve got the wrong idea. I thought you were referring to something else.” He let go if his self restraint and finally reached out for you, only for you to swat his hand away.

“The wrong idea? What else could I be referring to!” You shouted.

“My past!” He yelled.

Dan Heng never yelled.

You went quiet, staring at him in shock.

It wasn’t like you were upset he yelled. More like… shocked. The guilt of your accusations hit you like a brick. But both of your reactions were justifiable to some extent. After all, you just woke up from a nightmare where Dan Heng cheated on you, just to hear him say it was true. On the other hand, he believed you were referring to something else entirely.

It was a confusing situation.

“I apologize- I didn’t mean to raise my voice like that.” He softened his voice, giving you a loving gaze you had almost forgotten about.

“I’m sorry too… I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that.”

You two sat in silence for a moment, a comfortable silence.

[bellewintersroe]

Daniel Ricciardo x HornerDaughter! Reader.

Part 10 wooohooo thank you for all your support I appreciate it massively!!! Don’t worry if this story has slowed down a little it’s going to pick right back up (without any spoilers 😉). Also I’m hating using the use of y/n it’s making me cringe, it’s too late to add a name to this character isn’t it 😭😭

Tension still continues between Daniel and her. Neither of their pain seems to be subsiding, and it’s safe to say Max is becoming semi-aware of their situation…

Warnings: talk of alcohol, mentions of a previous panic attack but nothing graphic, maybe some swearing? The next chapter will be HEAVYYYY, spicy, arguments, angst, crying omfg I am excited to write it so stay tuned 🤫

The first night she’d slept properly was after her panic attack, tiring her to the point of exhaustion as she passed out listening to all the cliche, heartbreak songs, Celine Dion was on the top of her list. The following few nights were hit or miss depending on sleep, luckily, right before Penelope’s 4th birthday party she’d managed to have a good sleep meaning she was pretty much raring to go.

She’d decided there’d be absolutely no tears and awkward interactions between Daniel and her, they’d texted a couple of times when he was checking if she was okay, but that was the extent of it. She couldn’t spend anymore time thinking about the man, nor could he spend any less time thinking about her. She plagued his mind, he felt like he was going absolutely crazy.

Struggling to carry the large bag full of barbies and the dream house she’d bought for the young one, Max ran over in amusement, taking the large present from her grasp. “Hi! Thank you, Max.” She offered him a quick hug. “What have you bought her, a car?!”

“Barbies of course!” “P’s gonna go crazy when she sees this. How are you anyway? Better after the other day?” She laughed out of embarrassment at his question. “I’m completely fine now, sorry I had to run away.” I shook my head. “No it’s fine, as long as you’re okay.” Max wasn’t an idiot, neither was Kelly. Neither was P.

“P was just concerned that’s all.” He patted her back with his free hand as smiled gently. “She’s excited to see you, P!” Max called out. “Look who’s here!”

“I’m excited to see her- oh my god! Is that the birthday girl?!” She fell to her knees at the little one ran into her arms, giddy with her birthday excitement. “Happy birthday, P!” She gave her a squeeze as P jumped back. Daniel watched with a gentle smile, his hand tightening around the grip on his beer bottle as his heart crumbled at the sight.

Meanwhile, she had to yet to see him there. She squealed with excitement, clapping as P did a spin her adorable dress. When she did say her hello’s she was speaking mainly with Kelly and a bunch of women she’d met a handful of times before. She was relieved to see her friends already there, somehow the thought of walking in somewhere was still intimidating to her. Through the whole evening her and Daniel didn’t speak once, they were on the opposite side of the garden all night, she stuck with her friends and he stuck with his. It somehow made Daniel feel more awkward than ever, and he wasn’t sure if it was a conscious effort on her behalf to speak to basically everybody but him. It hurt deep inside of him, it stung at his heart harsher than anything he’d felt before and a weird sickness would fill him every time he thought of how she’d avoided him. Daniel didn’t want it to be like that, if they couldn’t be together then surely they could be as close as they were before?

Daniel would always drive her places, grabbing her smoothies, and they’d always manage to find one another snickering in the most inappropriate moments. She’s sought him out after races where they’d gossip together, giggling at all the influencers there who had no clue what the hell was going on. Daniel never thought he’d miss when they were just friends, but the separation and distance between the pair felt uncomfortably cold. Another person who noticed this was Max. Odd little things had been happening, first y/n runs off crying, then Daniel looks like a sad puppy lingering around. He couldn’t help but recognise how the two didn’t speak, it was insightful, maybe he was looking too hard into it, but to Max it was blatantly obvious they were upset at one another. “You alright?” He approached the Australian man who was just preparing to leave. “Yeah, yeah, had a good time, thanks for the invite man.” Of course Daniel smiled in response.

“Something going on with you and y/n?” Max openly asked, Daniel was stunned, momentarily speechless. Maybe it was the alcohol, but Max blurted out the question quicker than he intended to. “Y/n?” Daniel flinched. “She was just a bit upset the other day, that’s all. I talked to her about it.” He scratched the back of her neck, partly avoiding Max’s question. The Dutchman decided against pressing him on the topic. The slight avoidance of the question struck Max as odd.

“Is she okay?” Daniel went to wince again. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure she is.” Although he wasn’t sure at all. She seemed good today, he was glad, but surely if she was over this whole thing she would’ve spoken to him… maybe he should’ve made the first move? Oh god, his mind was overthinking like crazy, even messier with Max’s straightforwardness. That evening it was Daniel’s turn to listen to pathetically cliche heartbreak songs.

A couple days later, after qualifying, she was there again. Daniel had just gained the 6th fastest lap time, however his track time was then deleted for exceeding track limits. It was a nightmare, she found herself going from cheering to stood in disappointment. She knew Daniel wouldn’t be so happy, he’d probably take it on the chin but 6th was incredible, especially to say he was driving a tractor.

That day, her feelings had warmed up to Daniel. It’s like seeing him again at P’s birthday rid some of the anger that contaminated her previously. Once she’d spoken to both Checo and Max, she noticed Daniel lingering not far away, he’d just been talking with her dad once he’d returned over from the Alpha Tauri garage.

He walked so close besides her, and he didn’t even notice her at first, until she stood up from tying her shoe lace and they were all of a sudden face to face. “Hi Daniel.” She borderline squeaked and he felt his stomach knot and flip. “Hey, you alright?” He scanned over her face. She looked good today, not so tired.

“I’m good.” She turned away. “How about you?” Her hand raised to shield the sun from her face, actually looking him dead in the eye now. “Ah, I’m okay.” He seemed to shrug, and for a second it was a little awkward. When she scanned over his face she could feel her stomach flipping.

“You did good today, I mean- I know the whole thing with the track limits happened, but to get initially to 6th is so good.” She spoke, shrugging her shoulders timidly. “Thank you.” His voice was gentle, slightly hoarse, his chest ached so desperately for her, he yearned for her so longingly.

“Red Bull 2024’s looking promising.” She commented light heartedly, even forcing a small breath of laughter as his lips twitched up softly. “Ah, I don’t know.” He dug his foot into the ground as her smile, too, faded and she glanced over him before down to the floor. It was awkward. And it was about to get 10x more awkward when Christian walked over. “What’re you two flirting about?!” Daniel felt breathless at the fathers comment, he was positive his cheeks were already burnt up. “Dad.” She scoffed out a laugh, playfully nudging his arm away. Daniel forced a laugh.

“I’ll see you both later.” He gave Christian a friendly smack on the arm before heading off in the opposite direction and not sparing her another glance. She winced at the action, unknown to the pain that rattled through Daniel’s chest.

“What was that all about?” Christian asked, eyeing up between Daniel and his daughter. Again, she winced, cringing at the thought of having to explain anything.

“I was just speaking to him about the qualifying.” She shrugged, although her tone wasn’t so convincing. “You’re both blushing.” He narrowed his eyes, an amused smile forming on his face. She knew what he’d do, tease her to death, despite being completely blind to everything else that had already happened.

“No im not!” She defended, spluttering and raising a hand to her obviously burning cheek. “Yeah you are! Look I know you might fancy Daniel a little but-“

“Stop, I’m not 12.” She grimaced. “He is a great bloke is Daniel, anyway.” Oh my god. She officially wanted the ground to swallow her up. Not only had her dad said this to her, but he ensured Max Verstappen was in right in the firing point, overhearing all the conversation.

Max oddly looked like he’d seen a ghost, he was slowly puzzling everything together and now he was convinced that y/n and Daniel were secretly doing it behind everybody’s backs. The girl in the hotel room, the ‘discreet’ love bite on her collarbone, the hushed conversations- Max was a genius!

“I knew it!” He stormed over, filled with excitement. As soon as Christian had left the scene, he was bursting to expose the secret he’d discovered. “Know what?!” She turned in surprise.

“You and Daniel, you’re together!” Oh fuck. She felt her eyes bulge and heart begin pounding. “What?! No, no, Max, no we’re not.” His smile faded seeing as how hushed she was being about it. “You’re not?!”

“No! I mean- no…” “But I’ve seen it, I’ve heard you both.” She cringed again at his words and knew there was no denying, she just needed to quieten him.

“No- I mean yes, but we’re not anymore. Please, please don’t say a word.” An odd sense of panic washed through her, Max was stunned, staring back to the anxious looking girl. Her eyes looked the exact same way they did at the race track the other day.

“I-I won’t. Are you ok?” “I’m fine, I am. Just please don’t say anything, you can tell Kelly just not a soul else.” She pleaded, luckily she knew Max was a man of his words. It felt oddly freeing to get the secret off her chest, it’s like it had been waiting to just be blurted out the whole time. Now it really felt real, the whole thing was semi out in the open, did it make her bad to be exposing something she promised to keep secret?? The thought would eat her alive, but so did the secrecy surrounding her, very much, public sadness…

———————————————————————

🫨🫨🫨🫨

@dinodumbass @mccall-muffin @allabouthappiness @benbarneslut @ricciardhoe-3 @headinthecloudssblog

[captain039]

PART 3 Intertwined with a mortal

Ascended Vampire Duke!Astarion x human!reader

Bridgerton x Astarion 👍🏻

Warnings: Olden times, swearing, age gap, tension, slow burn, vampire Mates, vampire things, angst, sexual, harassment, bigger reader, fat shaming, 18+, angst, Astarions trauma, anxiety, depression, learning to touch and love, big dislike for children lmao, AOB, artist reader, manipulation

Previous part <-

Gods you may be going insane, your dreams were so sinful it would make the faithful cry. You danced with him twice and now he’s in your dreams caressing your body and sending you waves of pleasure you didn’t know was possible. Your books didn’t help either, you always snuck a lewd book in your bag from the library when your mother would go, now you were reading with the duke in mind and yourself as the main character. You thought a nice day of painting would send your thoughts away till you began sketching his face in your book. You’d slammed the thing shut and threw it with wide eyes and a pounding heart, gods what was wrong with you.

The third party of the season had arrived you wore a light blush coloured dress, a fan to match in your hand, it was a warm night. You found Jen easily enough and then Karlach joined as you all began talking and smiling. You enjoyed being in their company, having not seen them in a while due to their own life challenges. What shocked you though was the duke Ravengard coming up to you to sign your dance card with a charming smile. It left you confused as Karlach nudged you with a giggle. After the duke signed a total of five more potential suitors signed and you were left baffled and staring at the names. Problem was, you didn’t feel excitement, you felt dread and a horrid churn in your stomach. You found yourself scanning the crowd too often hoping to see a familiar white haired elf ready to sweep you to the dance floor. When the dancing started though your heart dropped and you realised he wasn’t coming. You shook those thoughts quickly though, gods you didn’t even like the pale elf why were your thoughts all about him. As you started your dance with a young beta named Kye, blond curly hair and pale blue eyes, soft flushed cheeks, he was rather adorable, seemed too boyish to be dancing with lady’s. You kept your polite act up as you tried to ignore the churns in your stomach with each touch, you found yourself looking for the elf even more now. His scent wasn’t horrible, he smelt comforting in the ways betas do, you missed the coldness though.

“Are you alright Milady?” The beta asked.

“Yes sorry my lord, just a little distracted, the heat” you chuckled softly giving him your best fake smile you could muster. You danced and danced till alpha Duke Ravengard, you were exhausted and defeated as you didn’t see your pale elf. Your? He wasn’t yours for gods sake. Before the dance started Duke Ravengard was interrupted quickly and you froze and felt your heart jump at Duke Ancunin taking his place quickly. You felt relief flood you as you began the dance with him. You didn’t know what to say, just knew you felt ease where you were. You wanted to comment on his lateness, saying he took his time, how dare he, but you were the one always leaving him afterwards.

“I saw the way you danced with the others” he suddenly said and you frowned he was here the whole time? Bastard.

“Tense, looking around for someone, dare I say for me” he smirked lightly and you flushed.

“You’re wrong Duke Ancunin” you fought.

“Am I?” He chuckled.

“You’re not looking around anymore, you’re at ease in my arms, your scent is calm” it felt like he knew your every secret, had you been so obvious.

“I assure you it is nothing like that” you said trying to keep up an act. You glanced to Karlach and Jen on a certain turn, Karlach gave you a wink while Jen smiled. You looked to your mum next who was probably planning your wedding, honeymoon and next fifty years of your marriage, by the swoon smile she had. As you stood close to the Duke you let out a small sigh, he’d been on your mind all week and now he was finally here. You hated yourself for thinking like that, you’d already swooned over him, you didn’t even know if he was an alpha or beta or omega. Hells you didn’t even know if he was looking for marriage. Your face must’ve shown your emotions, because the Duke spoke up.

“What’s got you deep in angry thought” he teased with a chuckle.

“A lady is allowed her secrets and thoughts” you said curtly making him grin.

“Of course she is, however you’re scrunching that beautiful face so hard it must be bothersome” he commented and you felt your cheeks go hot. You cursed him silently and his piercing red eyes as the song ended and you bowed your head. Gods you needed air.

After five dances you were feeling lightheaded, two betas two alphas and the pale elf Duke. You hadn’t felt any connection with the other dancers, your heart didn’t thump loudly in your chest with desire. You sighed leaning against the cold railing, you didn’t want to go to anymore of these, maybe you could just slip away. You glanced back into the party your mother chatting happily with some other older lady’s. you glanced around to the guards seeing them unaware of your existence. You hurried to the garden swiftly dodging any eyes or lights before you found silence. You sighed debating if you could lie on the fresh grass, best not ruin the dress. You sat down in the bench instead finally alone with your thoughts.

“You always run off, little pup”

Or not.

You looked up seeing the duke you just danced with, did he follow you? You’re sure you were sneaky. You stood up out of nerves as he smiled at you.

“You shouldn’t be out here” you stated.

“Neither should you” he said back and you cursed silently. This was wrong, being alone with a man at such a time like this.

“Please be clear with me Duke Ancunin” you said and he frowned giving you his attention again.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Why’re you dancing with me? Why did you push Duke Ravengard aside? You’re not known for wanting marriage, and Duke Ravengard is a respectful alpha-“ before you could finish the duke was in front of you quickly hand holding your throat gently making your heart stop.

“Respectful he may be, but, you feel nothing towards him” he said low his eyes burning into yours.

“Marriage isn’t for love” you muttered sadly, but nervously.

“Or feelings” you added your hand holding his wrist. He didn’t choke you, just held you in place as he stared at you.

“No, but you feel this” he said quietly and leant forward. Your eyes closed without thought thinking he’d strangle you, instead cold lips pressed against yours and you gasped. You felt a noise leave your throat as his hand moved to cup your cheek and jaw tugging you closer.

“How I burn in your mind” he whispered kissing your jaw and tilting your head.

“Your thoughts are clouded with nothing but, me” his lips ghosted over your neck making you shudder in delight. You felt overly sharp teeth scrap your neck and felt your heart jump before he lifted his head again.

“You didn’t answer me” you said breathlessly as he smirked.

“This doesn’t mean anything” you added though your mind screamed at you.

“Doesn’t it?” He asked head tilted slightly, white curls blowing in the breeze that passed.

“Gods why’re you here? If someone saw us” your mind began to panic as your eyes rapidly darted around.

“Omega, calm down” his voice held authority as you looked back to him and steadied your breathing breathing in his scent. You pulled away from him and he frowned as you shook your head.

“If this is a game, stop, please” you begged jaw clenching as you held back tears.

“I need to find a husband, before it’s too late” you said surprising even yourself as you quickly left back to the party.

Astarion stared at the spot you were just in, his dead heart would be jumping if it could. You weren’t scared when he held your throat, slight nerves, but you trusted him without even realising it. He’d watched you the whole way through the hall his hands clenched in white knuckled fists as he watched those other men throw you around in what they called dancing. He felt your nerves, your discomfort, smelt your sour scent from here. When Duke Ravengard approached he couldn’t handle it, he took over, felt your relief and that sweet omega scent of yours went back to normal as you began to dance. He’d been late from needing to feed, his body already on edge from the killing, a simple low life nobody would miss now whisked into nothingness. It was stale and horrid, nothing to what your sweet blood would taste like. He found himself unbalanced and wanting more, you dancing in his arms was what it was meant to be, not other school boys barley out of their training diapers. You needed an alpha, someone able to take care of you. With his confliction he had no rank, though the way your body reacted to him suggest that perhaps in his past life he was an alpha destined. He was toying with you, till now, now he felt raw need, raw need for your body and soul to be his, devil strike any hand that lay upon you again.

Next part ->

Also

GUIIRRRLLL DINNNEERRR

[luffyvace]

what BSD characters are like driving!! 🤗 (😀)

includes PM, ADA & DOA

(these are short + no gifs bc it’s a LOT of characters)

Killing/threatening warning, yk, PM stuff..

PM

Mori Ougai: (I don’t condone his behavior—they ruined what he could’ve been)

actually a decently normal driver?

occasionally pushes the red/yellow light, especially if he’s late for smth important

will you Elise to be like “please my little girl is in the car 🥺😕” if he’s gets pulled over

Only trust him to drive you around if your one of his executives…otherwise if he asks you to get in his car- DONT.

Nakahara Chuuya:

ultimate road rager

really it’s not him it’s all these grannies drivin around!! 🙄

gets a million tickets a month but has the money to pay them off

i mean, he would. If he didn’t just kill/threaten the police officers..

don’t let him see Dazai either 😭😭

will probably be like “HEY DAZAI, ITS A DREAM COME TRUE” and (try to) ram his car into him—using his ability too, as a bonus

Kōyō Ozaki:

swears/mutter under her breath about how “people are idiots” more than she actually curses people out

i feel like she only would if someone were to damage he beautiful car (she has it custom with lots of pink floral patterns, not in a childish way!- it’s very pretty 😊)

she can afford to fix it ofc but it still upsets her

that person definitely doesn’t go home that night…..

she’s very beautiful so she could probably con her way out of getting tickets “I won’t do it again officer~” immediately rolls her eyes and calls them names that will not be stated here as soon as she drives off 😆

Ryunosuke Akutagawa:

I believe he’s a decent driver as well

Only drives recklessly if he’s angry/Dazai forced him to take Atsushi with him 😃😭

definitely drives safe when his sister’s in he car 🥹💗

usually turns the music all the way down

Gin Akutagawa:

would prefer to walk or have Ryuu drive her <3

but she does know how, knows the basics but sometimes forgets what random buttons do

gets pretty shy when she’s pulled over (she was either speeding because she was late for work or just happened to be caught going during a red light) so the officers let her go with out a ticket, just a (non literal) slap on the wrist “don’t let it happen again kid”

doesn’t play any music at all

Ichiyo Higuchi:

uhh she’s either driving wildly because she’s trying to help out Akutagawa or decently but parks on curbs/hits others car often 😃😅

forgets to turn on the radio since half the time she’s in the car she’s rushing

yeah I don’t have much to say since she drives pretty okay 👍

Ryūrō Hirotsu:

prefers to walk 100%

doesn’t even know why he has a car

actually yes he does it’s because it’s an old school model he’s had forever and is proud of

so he also doesn’t drive bc he doesn’t wanna scuff it up

would be a good driver if he did tho

will be the driver for other people’s cars tho

Michirō Tachihara:

very impatient

especially since most the time he’s trying to get to work

im ngl he’s probably made his car fly to work one day since he can control metal

maybe Chuuya has done that too…..definitely.

honks the horn like crazy 😭

tries to tone it down if one of his superiors are with him tho, like Kōyō, Hirotsu or Mori

Sakunosuke Oda: (Odasaku)

only drives crazy during emergencies

Good luck to whoever is in the car with him at that moment, your getting flung all over the place- seatbelt or not 😂😂

Otherwise you can 100% trust him to drive you around :)

very responsible, turns on his turning signal, stops at even yellow lights and never gets tickets 😊💗

Ango Sakaguchi:

another reliable and responsible one!

except he’s not as bad when it comes to emergencies 😭👍

he drives fast inbetween lights when it comes that kind of thing, like if it’s 3 green lights he’s stepping on the gas, but if there’s a red he’ll speed to that very light 😭

or he’ll just keep going since he’s a officer 🤷‍♀️ I forgot abt that..OOPS

ADA

Yukichi Fukuzawa:

really good driver

stops for animals, people, red lights, yellow lights

only downside is he sometimes doesn’t notice the green light

he’s one of those where you have to be like “uhhh the light is green”

Akiko Yosano:

uhhhhhh don’t drive with her

Professional road rager

has a quicker temper with men than women but she’s still speeding past you angrily either way….

only difference is she might hope out to curse out the men if she has the time

gets like 4 tickets a month..😭

Atsushi Nakajima:

he’s getting there! 😃

would drive better if Dazai didn’t keep rushing and distracting him 🤦‍♀️

tries to drive extra safe when Kyouka’s in the car /p (I don’t ship them she’s 14)

has to drive Dazai a lot of the time, and is pretty much the go to pick up guy for Ranpo too

or anyone who needs a ride really, he’s too helpful for his own good because he knows they’re gonna drive them crazy- but helps them out anyway 😅

Doppo Kunikida:

vv good driver 🫡

ultimate best driver passed his driving test with flying colors

Dazai be driving him crazy when he’s in the car with him but it’s okay he can drive with his feet/knees 😭🤷‍♀️

plays soft music from underrated bands

Jun’ichiriō Tanizaki:

uhh Naomi bothers him way too much while he’s in the car

wouldn’t accidentally run so many red lights if it weren’t for her

doesn’t even notice it’s red until she points it out and he’s already passed the stop line

They agree to both pay for the ticket

Kenji Miyazawa:

doesn’t drive

lives walking and would rather to say hi to the citizens everyday

likes to take it slow so he gets up early to walk to work

hes used to it since he’s a farmer 😊

Kyōka Izumi:

knows the basics

will start speeding without warning if you tell her an emergency has happened

hold your horses yall 🗿

mostly let’s Atsushi drive/prefers for him to so she can stare out the window

prefers no music

Osamu Dazai:

don’t even get me started

he only drives regularly when something serious happens

Don’t be fooled he’s certainly going over the speed limit

but he’s not being loud and obnoxious for once

will sing along to songs annoyingly loud and encourages whoever’s in the car to join (only Kenji does, but nobody mind him <3)

accidentally runs a few red lights but at least he’s never ran over anyone (it’s came close….)

Ranpo Edogawa:

doesn’t drive

only hitches rides from others and by others I mean Atsushi

I mean he can he’s just too lazy to and also likes to stare out the window

Wants to be the one in control of the radio despite not being the driver “I’m the worlds greatest detective! And I deduce you should let me choose the station!”

Naomi Tanizaki:

only gets rides from Juni

i feel like she doesn’t have a license yet

she walks to school and rides home with Tanizaki after work

always bugging him while he’s driving

she’s learning to drive from him even tho she doesn’t want to do she could keep hitching rides with him

probably thinking about failing the test on purpose but she realizes she wouldn’t be able to drive him to the hospital/agency if something were to happen..

Kirako Haruno: (office clerk lady)

if something happened to Tanizaki she would be the one to drive Naomi around

just make sure she never tries to drive while drunk…

otherwise a decent driver….probably occasionally pushes yellow lights

only gets a ticket once every 6-7 months or so

DOA

Kamui:

safest driver in the lands

yk cuz criminals be the safest drivers so they don’t get pulled over

LOL /j but even if he did the officer would immediately recognize him, apologize and back off

so yeah! Not to say he’s recklessly but he can definitely get away with running red lights :P

Bram Stoker:

um…..I actually don’t know why I put him here

LOL

would obviously hitch rides untilll…ifykyk 😊

but even then driving a car would be way too complex for him to even WANT to learn to do….

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

Okay now the actually criminally safe driver is him (PUN INTENDED LOL)

could probably use his intellect to get out of getting a ticket anyway

knows all the laws and has the memorized somehow and will probably outsmart the officer

doesn’t drive unless needed tho

Nikolai Gogol:

what does HE need to drive for?! 😭

bro just use your cape!

anyway he’d probably only do so if his goal required it or fun to run people over and set them free 🫡🕊️

another one who doesn’t drive

Sigma: (male alpha giga chad 🙂)

⚠️S5 DEATH/ENDING SPOILER⚠️

HELP ME I SEARCHED UP FYODOR’S NAME IN ANOTHER TAB AND I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL IT INSTANYLY SO WHEN I CLOSED MY KEYBOARD FYODOR D AUTOCORRECTED INTO FYODOR DIED 😭

Can I get a moment of silence for sitting here and taking the time out of my day to write all them COMPLICATED AHH NAMES⁉️🗣️

[itoldyatshirt]

Open

Synopsis: after the events of the movie, Tashi, Art and Patrick find a way to keep tennis in their life. Two younger tennis players, Wendy and Audrey, are now part of their game, being used(and loved) by atp. Audrey plays like Tashi, but goes for the same struggles as Art. Wendy is just like Patrick…

World count: 7.8k

Note: (some warnings:legal age gap, toxic relationship, anxiety, self destructive personality and self hate). The tittle it’s supposed to be a reference for some tennis tournaments, like us open, Australia open… but also a reference for their relationship. The name of the 2 new character are inspired on WTA(Women's Tennis Association), I thought this would be interesting since Art, Tashi and Patrick names are inspired by ATP(Association of Tennis Professionals).I have almost zero knowledge about tennis, so there’s not going to be descriptive tennis scenes or explanation about the tournaments. These new characters represent their personalities but is also a way to reconnect to tennis. This story happens after the events of the movie, and it takes long over some years. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to write smut, maybe I will develop this skill in the future, but this fic doesn’t have detailed sex scenes, only mentions of sex. My intention is to explore the character’s connection and personalities, the 2 new characters reflect atp personally so at the end is all about character study, and I think they would find a way to keep their life’s around tennis so this is my vision for a “sequel”. I wish I could make a better work, but I’m a beginner at fan fiction and at writing that much in English, I appreciate even more the amazing writers of this platform. I’m really sorry for my repetitive writing and grammar mistakes, I swear I did my best.

1.

Art wins the game of course. Patrick started the fire on him, so that he could make both of Art and Tashi happy. If he’s not happy at least they are…. Also, If he wants to win a slam he would need Tashi’s help, and for that he had to do what she wanted, that’s why he provoked Art. Art really needed to win this game, to beat Patrick, but still he is decided that’s he’s going to retire, now more than ever, he doesn’t need to prove anything anymore.

After the match Tashi is talking to her husband and Patrick goes after them, “it was a great match”, “yeah” Art says with the biggest smile “we should celebrate”, Tashi and Patrick look at each other surprised by Art’s courage to suggest that, “what? I told you I didn’t want to feel left out”.

They all went to Patrick’s cheap hotel room, they sit at the messy bed just like the 2006 night, they laugh nervously, but they are all satisfied that they can finally continue what they started that night….

…

Tashi is glad that Art won, but she knows he’s going to retire anyway. It’s obvious that she wants her husband to be happy, and now she have another good option to rely her tennis dream on. Even with the resentment that she feels towards Patrick, she can’t deny that she misses him, and he’s so desperate for a last shot to win a slam, that’s he’s finally going to let her coach him, with no complaining this time.

The throuple are together again and live some good moments. They complete each other’s needs… It’s almost nostalgic, like they are back to their past. They are happy again.

…

Patrick wins a slam. People can’t believe that a “nobody”, ranked at 271º, would win a slam. That’s crazy news for the sport world. He is having the moment that he waited his entire life, he is making an Adidas campaign, even that he hates the slogan, but at least money wouldn’t be a problem for a while. But everybody is even more impressed with Tashi, anyone knows she is an incredible coach, and Art is the proof of that, but transforming Patrick in a tennis star it’s another level.

Patrick is so happy, not only because he finally get it what he wanted and needed at tennis, but also because he feels that he won them back.

…

Tashi and Patrick used to fight a lot during the training, but she handled it because she missed him and because she liked the challenge to coach him, like she finally won their fight from Stanford… Art wasn’t exactly coaching Patrick, he was just taking some rest of being a player, trying to get every opportunity to help Tashi and Patrick make peace, because that always end up in good sex. He still felt resentment towards them, not because of the cheating, but because he felt left out to not be included in the Atlanta night or the night before the final match at the challenger. But after Patrick retires the situation get complicated…

Tashi and Art are undeniably more responsible than Patrick, and they get worried for him, he is not coping well with his retirement, drinking too much, wasting his money, they try to help him, to give him advises. “You guys are never done coaching me?”, Patrick hates people talking him what to do, he accepted that as a way to win a slam because he didn’t find another way to reach his goal, but now, he can be himself again, why they can’t just have fun? Why they can’t just go back in time?

Patrick feels like after he stopped playing, he is not useful anymore, he feels that they don’t love him anymore. But that’s not true. As time passes, the more Tashi and Patrick would fight and more resentment Art would keep, making Patrick feel bad about himself every time he could….

Before their conflicts were used as a way to make tennis better, a motivation, the tension were useful on the sport, but without the game they don’t know how to deal with their emotions. Tennis is like a relationship and without one how can they have the other?

2.

Tashi is now coaching Audrey, a tennis promise, Audrey was already really good before Tashi came in to her life, but her previous coach would never be so incredible like Tashi is, to see exactly what Audrey needs to be lead to. Audrey does anything Tashi wants, she just trust her, she was so relif when Tashi accepted her proposal to coach her. Many tennis players would kill to be coached by Tashi Duncan, she is a legend player and an amazing coach responsible for the incredible career of Art Donaldson and the surprising slam winner Patrick Zweig.

Audrey couldn’t stand her last coach, he was to soft with her, she didn’t felt challenged by him, and she is the kind of person that needs a challenge, she needs something that makes her want to be better, she is the kind of person that always think she needs improvement. Tashi brings that out on her. Not only Tashi is everything that Audrey wants to be, but also Audrey is what Tashi could have been if wasn’t for the injury, and of course Tashi sees that. Seeing Audrey’s career is even better than Art or Patrick, Audrey reminds Tashi so much of herself, she is all that she could have been, even that hurts to see someone so similar to her like that, she is happy because she finally find someone that wouldn’t disappoint her at tennis.

Audrey was so excited to work with Tashi, that takes her a while to notice she is falling in love with Tashi. Who wouldn’t be in love with her?

…

The night before the first big tournament of Audrey and Tashi, they are talking at Audrey’s room in the fancy hotel Tashi chose, about the game strategies, Tashi is so happy and excited for the game tomorrow, but Audrey is nervous and anxious, and of course the coach notices that, “you need to relax, your mind is a really important part of your game”, she says in a tough way, just like she used to say to herself when she was younger, but she looks at Audrey and feels bad talking like that, just like she used to feel bad with the pressure she made to herself. “Let’s try something…” Tashi gets up of the sofa and choose some David Bowie’s song in her phone, Tashi starts dancing and put her arms in Audrey’s direction as a way to convince her to dance too. Audrey is pretty surprised seeing her like that, she doesn’t look like a serious coach, she looks what Audrey think she would look if it wasn’t for the injury. She finally get up from she sofa and dances with her. They are laughing and having fun, and unfortunately it’s time to sleep….

“You need to rest”,

“I always get to anxious before a match, sometimes I can’t even sleep properly”,

“I get it, athletes need a ritual you know? Not only right before the match to focus, but also while preparing, we can think of something that make you relax so you can sleep better, meditation works for me, do you wanna try?”,

Tashi helps Audrey concentrate on her breath, while touching her core and whispering in her ears, standing behind her, Audrey does feel more relaxed with Tashi presence so near her neck, she turns to look Tashi in the eyes, Tashi looks at her with intensity and lean to kiss her, their soft lips fits so perfectly. Tashi is feeling young again, like she is in that hotel room back from 2006, before things got bad…

“I know how to make you feel better….”

…

After the sex, Tashi is looking at Audrey sleeping deep, and get of the bed slowly to not wake her up, she grabs her purse and goes to her room, her phone have a lot missing calls from Art, that makes her feel guilty, Tashi calls him back.

“Hey, are you okay? It’s late and we still haven’t talked today…” that is unusual for them as they talk every night,

“I’m fine, I had a busy day… how is Lily?”,

“She is loving the new school…how is Audrey?”,

“She is ready to win tomorrow!”,

“Good…I can help you coaching her, like if you want me to”,

“Why would I want that?”,

“Tashi..”,

“Sorry, I didn’t mean like that, you just seen happy being at home, I don’t want to disturb your peace, after all those years on tour, I know you just want to rest”,

“Of playing, coaching sound fun to me… I miss you”,

“I know”,

“And now that I’m not playing and have no pressure on myself, I miss tennis too…I just don’t want to feel left out”,

“I’m not choosing this for you Art, you’re welcome to be an assistant coach if you want… Lily can stay with my mom ...”,

“And we can bring her with us on tour on the school breaks”,

“Of course!”,

“I don’t want to be like my parents you know? I don’t want her to feel abandoned…”,

“You are definitely not like your parents Art, and Lily is not going to feel like that… I miss her traveling with me”,

“We are going to work it out”,

“Like we always do”,

“We had a great time coaching him together right?”, Art says this referring to Patrick,

“Well, we made a great team, he became a winner”.

3.

After winning a lot of tournaments Audrey is a well know tennis player. She is in a locker room finishing dressing herself after a match, when another player comes in… she’s sweating, she just won a mach too, she looks at Audrey surprised, “hi!! I’m Wendy”, “I’m Audrey”, Wendy starts to undress herself, while Audrey is trying not to look…. “you don’t need to introduce yourself, who doesn’t know the tennis princess? I watched your game, you are amazing!!! I hope I don’t play with you, I’m sure I would lose, but it would be a honor!!!”, Audrey is flattered, “I watched your game too. It’s really interesting”, they both laugh, “in a good way, exciting, fun”. Audrey’s phone ring, it’s Tashi, “I need to go”, “it was good to met you” Wendy smirks at her while she get in the shower.

…

Both Wendy and Audrey have a similar background, since they were kids theirs families put a lot of pressure and expectations on them, so they could be the first successful person of the family. However, they turn out to be different women, polar opposites.

Audrey learned to exceed all the expectations, she became exactly what her parents wanted her to be, because that’s exactly what she believed she wanted too, she was the favorite daughter, the best student at the best university, she chose to be a professional athlete because she had the discipline to be, the physical and mental strength to be. She is loved and admired.

Wendy learned how to ignore the pressure, and became the family shame and disappointment, choosing to be a tennis player, even that she have no discipline to be a professional athlete, over choosing to go to university to follow her parents dream of her being a elegant executive, business woman, doctor or lawyer…. Her parents put her in tennis classes as a punishment for her laziness, but she ended up liking it, and that really pissed her parents, and that made she like it even more. She is judged and misunderstood.

4.

It’s been a while since Patrick won the grand slam, since tennis isn’t a glue that keeps them together, since Art and Tashi had a big fight with him, since he didn’t see them…

Patrick is feeling lonely again, after years being alone, he never really got used to it, even that he told himself that he did. And finally they all reconnect and life was a dream, until he retired and things got complicated.

He is alone again, and his money is almost ending… he is lying on the messy bed of a cheap hotel, thinking about them…

He is decided. He is going to do it! Even that they said that they didn’t want to see him again, he would go to this tournament, where the player Tashi is coaching is going to play, to find a way to talk to them.

…

He tries to approach Tashi on the parking lot of the tennis club. “What are you doing here?”, she asks angrily, “I just want to watch a match, where is Art? Does your dear husband doesn’t supports you?”, Patrick smirks trying to hide how nervous he is, “his flight actually got delayed so he will not be here to watch the match… I don’t even know why I waste my time talking with you”, she walks away, “Tashi!!”, “stay away from us Patrick!”.

He buys a ticket to watch the match, he is sitting there, totally lost. Tashi doesn’t want to talk to him, but at least he is going to watch a tennis match, he still loves tennis, and he can see Tashi avoiding so hard to not look at him on the other side of the court.

The game starts, Audrey is playing against a young woman called Wendy… Patrick is mesmerized by the way Wendy plays. Audrey plays just like Tashi and Wendy plays like him. It’s perfect timing, it’s like Tashi and Patrick are playing against each other. They are both thinking the same.

It’s unbelievable, Wendy wins the match. How could a messy player wins the perfect player?

That’s when something clicks for Patrick, that’s his ticket to get back to Art and Tashi’s life. He’s going to be Wendy’s coach, and continue the rivalry that started in this game, if the two tennis players play against each other in the next tournaments that would be a great way to see Tashi and consequently Art. He needs to talk to Wendy.

…

“Hey!”, Patrick says while walking fast towards Wendy as she is getting into her car, she stops to look at him,

“I watched your match, congratulations!”,

“Thanks”, Wendy doesn’t seen too happy about it,

“I’m Patrick Zweig”, he extends his hand to greet her, and they shake hands,

“I’m Wendy and I know who you are”,

Patrick feels better with this ego boost,

“Never to late to be the best version of yourself” she says his adidas campaign while laughing,

“That’s right…” he smirks as way to mask his embarrassment, but he actually likes her mocking him,

“What do you want?”she’s looking at him all over, she thinks he’s hotter in person,

“I just want to meet the champion”,

“Well”, she enters her car, “I’m fucking tired, I have no energy to meet you right now”, she closes the door, she does want to meet him but she’s not in the mood, all she wants for now is to be alone, it’s more comfortable for her like that, but he doesn’t get away, she looks a little annoyed at him and opens the window,

“You probably hungry, don’t you want to eat…”,

“I can eat by myself just fine”,

“Come on, you just won an incredible match against one the best players of the moment, shouldn’t you celebrate?”,

She rolls her eyes, “what do you suggest?”.

…

They are eating hamburgers in a restaurant,

“So what you think?”,

“This is delicious”,

“I mean about me being your coach”,

“I don’t even know how I won, she is fucking incredible”,

“You are incredible too”,

“Not like her, I didn’t deserve it, she is a real athlete, you know? Tashi Duncan is her coach, I know you were also coached by Tashi, she is a legend, so you know how she is, she probably has a really rigid routine and transforms you into a machine, and that’s good”,

“It’s not that good…”,

“Yeah, It must be tiring, anything has a price I guess”,

“That’s for sure”,

“I just want to feel that I’m good enough for the only thing that I know how to do”,

“I know how you feel”,

“I can’t compare, it was pure luck to won her”,

“It’s not luck, you are talented”,

“I..”,

“You just won one the best tennis players of the moment that means something ... you can be one of the top players too. You are talented, you just need a bit of …. Coaching”,

She smiles, “well that’s a better way to think about it.. I just ..”,

“Stop it, I thought someone like you would be more confident”,

“I thought someone like you would know exactly when a person is faking their confidence”,

Patrick smirk slowly turns to a more serious face, they are more similar than he thought,

“I bet you can play with her again and win again”,

Wendy is starving for connection, she wants a friend, maybe she could have that with Audrey, like the friendship that Patrick had with Art and Tashi, and of course she knows about that from the tennis news when Patrick won a slam, she actually got inspired by his story.

“Don’t put any expectations on me, I’m a disaster”,

“Me too... I can help you, we are actually really similar, I was just like you at your age”,

“So at my 30s I should expect to a amazing coach to save me”,

“No, I can save you now”,

“I don’t need anyone to save me, I’m fine”,

“Look, I know exactly how is to feel the way you are feeling now. Tashi taught me some stuff that I can teach you too, and most importantly, I can teach you how not to destroy your life by telling how I destroyed mine”,

“How?”,

“Being arrogant and not accepting advice at the start of my journey”,

“Oh fuck of!”,

He smiled at her…

Wendy hates to ask Patrick to be her coach, she hates to ask for help, she rolls her eyes, “okay, I can give you what you want if you tell me why you want to coach me, I know you are probably fucked and have no money and that’s probably why you are so desperate to be someone’s coach, but why me?”,

Patrick doesn’t think is a good idea to tell her he wants to coach her to get back his connections with the two loves of his life, so he tells her something that is also true, “I do need to coach someone to get some money… I think it would be easier to start my coaching career with someone that I relate so much, I do want to help you, I don’t want you to repeat my mistakes”,

“I’m not a form of therapy you know that right?”,

“Yeah, I just think we are a good match, don’t you think?”,

“I can see us working together, but you better be a good coach, I can only pay you if I win more tournaments”,

Patrick is happy to convince her,

“So what is my first lesson?”.

…

After they fucked in Wendy’s car, Patrick sends a text message to both Art and Tashi telling them the news, he thinks is funny that they didn’t block him, like they were expecting him to contact.

5.

Audrey didn’t want to talk with Tashi because she was embarrassed, so she spent the night alone in her hotel room, it would be like that even that she won, her lover’s husband was visiting…

But at the evening of the next day Tashi and Art goes to her room, Audrey likes him and understand why Tashi married him, but she usually feels so guilty when Art is around, but not today, today she just feels a mixed emotions of sadness and anger about her losing the game.

“That’s unfair, how she won?? She is a fucking mess, I bet she did not work as hard as I did”,

Arts relates to her so much in this moment, even that he trained a lot, he was never enough to beat Patrick until the New Rochelle challenger, even that Patrick has always been a mess too…

“You can beat her! Believe me nobody can go too far in the tennis career playing like that, they eventually get tired and just disciplined people stay consistent with their wins, you will beat her if she’s lucky enough to play with you again” Art tries to comfort her,

“I don’t want to win her when she got tired of being a crazy bitch on the court, I want to beat her because I’m better than her”, she instantly feel bad for thinking like that, “sorry, I mean I can be better than I am now”,

“Don’t apologize, you are right! You’re better than her, you just need to prove it, not only to everyone but also to yourself”, Tashi thought that’s the girl she is coaching!! She knows better than anyone how this was a mental game, how she always felt the need to push herself to be the best. Both of them didn’t notice that not only people put pressure on them, but also them put pressure on themselves…

“You are one the top players, don’t let a girl like that make you think otherwise”, Tashi says this while Art thinks she is actually talking about him and Patrick, like how he got pathetically scared to losing to him…

Tashi knows this is going to be a good motivation for her, but she doesn’t want Audrey to feel bad about it, she already feels guilty about the years Art felt bad about himself, she didn’t want to repeat this pattern.

“We should relax a little bit”, Tashi suggests just before grabbing the phone to ask some wine from the room service…

Art is jealous, Tashi never acted like this when he lost, or when Patrick did.

But after drinking he doesn’t think too much about it, and Audrey isn’t feeling as bad. Tashi is standing and looking how Art is sitting on a chair and Audrey is lying on the bed and both are laughing at some random movie that is on tv.

They are not too drunk to not make some decisions, but they were all relaxed enough to make some bold choices. Tashi grab Art hands and Audrey hands and they both stands up and look deep at her eyes, she kisses Art, and then she kisses Audrey. Art is not surprised, he already suspected that Tashi was cheating again… but Tashi grab their chin and make them kiss each other, both Audrey and Art are thinking how they could literally do anything that Tashi asks, and that wasn’t hard to do “I know you don’t like to feel left out”.

…

The next morning is almost magical, Audrey actually feels better now, not only because she always thought Art is hot, but also because that way she didn’t feel like a home wrecker anymore, actually she feels that she is helping Tashi. All the nights that Tashi complained about her marriage, even that she always made really clear that she loves Art…Audrey feels like maybe she can help them solve their relationship, that way Tashi would be happier. And she feels good being desired by both of them, the more people to adore her the best, and they both worshiped her the last night.

They had breakfast at the bedroom, “Art wants to be my assistant coaching you, what you think?”, Tashi and Art already talked about coaching Audrey together after reading Patrick’s text the night before, like they knew Patrick’s plan, they went to Audrey’s room with the intention to ask this to her, at least this is what Art thought, but now he knows Tashi already knew how to make she open to the idea.

“It sounds good to me”, Audrey is so happy with this new situation, she is going to be coached by two great tennis players and she feels she is even more closer to Tashi now, like she is showing how devoted she is to her. Art knows well this kind of devotion.

6.

The situation is way more interesting now Patrick is coaching Wendy, and Tashi and Art are coaching Audrey together. The routines are so different…

In the morning Audrey wakes up early, have a healthy breakfast with the married couple and go to the training sessions, that takes hours, being lead by Tashi’s commands and Art’s advices, by night after a relaxing bath, they all go to bed…

In the morning Wendy wakes up late, have a leftover pizza for breakfast with Patrick, after they fucked in the messy sheets, and go to the most unprofessional training sessions, being lead by Patrick unconventional approach, by night, before even taking a shower they have a sloppy sex in the bathroom…

These routines go over the time, and eventually Audrey and Wendy play against each other again, this time Audrey wins…. As the months(and even years) pass, they play against each other again and again …. Sometimes Audrey wins, sometimes Wendy wins.

Losing to Wendy is always embarrassing for Audrey, she despises her, but also for unknown reasons she admires her, even she would never admit it.

Losing to Audrey is kind obvious for Wendy, but still disappointing, exhausting, make her feel that she will never be the best, and caring about that makes her feel sick, she hates the idea to be Mrs perfect like Audrey, but deep down she wishes she has half of her discipline, even she would never admit it.

The tennis community loves to watch their games, they are so different, so entertaining, they build a rivalry. Audrey, is the biggest tennis star of the moment, not only her game gives her attention, but also how elegant she is, she is know as the tennis princess. Wendy wouldn’t get that much of attention if it wasn’t for her playing against Audrey, it is always a surprise how she manage to make to the finals with her, she is know as the tennis mess.

7.

Audrey loves being loved by both of them, being so important, they kiss her like they need her, because they do, they marriage need her. Tashi already told her that tennis is like a relationship, and Audrey understands that the sport is the best way to get Tashi happy in this relationship.

Audrey loves tennis of course, but these years trying to be the best player got her tired, all the anxiety behind doing a great performance, all the pressure to follow the rules, she is starting to feel the weight of fame, the weight of painful love….

Art understands that really well, when Audrey talks about her feelings with him, Art never felt so understood, but he doesn’t want Tashi to be disappointed again, she already lost her career, Art knows that deep down she thinks he could have done more with his career, she can’t lose Audrey too. “Don’t talk to Tashi about these things, she would never accept it, you can talk to me anytime, I can make you feel better“, he feels bad about manipulating her, but he thinks it’s for the best.

When Tashi starts to suspect that Audrey is not fine, she asks her what’s is going on, but Audrey always pretend that she is okay, because she thinks she is making Tashi happy this way. Art notices that Tashi is acting weird, and he knows is because of the player, so he lies to her, “babe don’t worry, she is fine, she is strong like you”, he says that because he thinks his wife sees him as weak.

Of course Tashi knows something is wrong, she is good at reading people, she knows they are trying to hide it from her, like she would be mad if she found out the obvious, Audrey is unhappy, Tashi recognizes this feeling from her husband some years ago, and from herself…

She doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes, she doesn’t want to drown everyone she loves to her unhappiness. Why does this always happen? But she tries to keep away from this thought, she is not the only one responsible for their happiness.

…

Audrey wins more tournaments, until she plays again against Wendy…. During the match, Art and Tashi are sitting on a side of the court and Patrick is on the opposite side. While the couple is stressed and worried about the game, Patrick seems to be having fun….Wendy wins the match.

When they get to the hotel room, Audrey starts crying, she is burnt out, she just can’t stand it anymore…

Art is feeling so guilty seeing her like that, “you can have a break if you want”, he has to say this, neither Audrey or Tashi would suggest that.

“I can’t stop! I need to control myself!”,

“You don’t have to control everything”, Art says this and Tashi knows he is also talking to her,

“You can control anything you want”, Tashi says firmly,

“Exactly!!! I’m going to be fine”, Audrey tries to wipe her face to dry her tears,

“You don’t have to do that for us”, Art put his hands on her shoulder,

“I’m not, I’m doing for myself, that’s what I want”,

“Are you sure?”,

“Yeah”,

“I just saying that you don’t have to let other people run your life”,

Tashi is mad about what Art is insinuating, so she finally says what is in her mind for so long, it’s like they are having a passive aggressive discussion about their relationship while talking with Audrey.

“Well, unless you chose someone to lead you, someone that can actually make decisions. You just need to admit that you wanted that , you asked me for that, and if you want to stop doing it it’s fine, but make a decision for yourself, how am I supposed to know what you want if you don’t say it to me?”,

“Did you asked what she wants”,

“I’m not her mom Art, I not her for this shit, I’m here to coach her that’s what I know what to do, that’s the only thing that I can fucking do. You know that was not my plan. I wish I was the one being coached, I wish I was the one feeling stressed about the game, because I love that, and nobody love tennis like I do, unconditionally”.

Audrey left the room, she knows they are having a fight that wasn’t completely about her, but she needs a time to herself, to cry alone in her room, and think about what she’s was going to do…

The silence left In the room is suddenly take by Tashi’s voice,

“Why do you pretend that you didn’t have a choice? You asked me to be your coach, you were a mediocre player before I coached you. Did I destroyed your life Art? Did I making you one the best tennis players of the world destroyed your life?”,

“I don’t think you destroyed my life! You accepting my offer to be my coach was the best thing that ever happened to me! But it wasn’t easy… “,Art is trying not to cry, “Do you love me?”,

“Of course I do, do you think I would spend my energy on something I don’t …”,

“You can’t even say it. Was I just a way to you do something that you love?”,

“Is that what you think? That I am a heartless bitch that used you like my personal tennis racket? I could have coached anyone I wanted, and it would be easier to do it without having an emotional connection with my client, because guess what? I’m not the cold hearted person you’re painting me to be. We have a family together, it’s not enough?”,

“My parents formed a family too, but they didn’t love each other”,

“I chose you, it’s that not enough?”,

“I wasn’t your first choice “,

“Right! You were my final choice”,

“Was I ?”,

“What??”,

“I don’t want to feel that I was your rational choice, just because it was obvious that he wouldn’t be what you need him to be”,

“That’s not how I see you Art”, she wishes she could express herself better.

Relationships are like tennis, Tashi doesn’t know how to express her feelings without tennis, that how she learned to deal with her own emotions .

…

The next morning, Tashi and Art go to Audrey’s room.

“Are you disappointed at me?” Audrey is nervous about Tashi’s reaction,

“No”, Tashi says with a soft voice,

“Yes you are, you’re going to find another one, I am replaceable! You think I’m weak”,

“No. I think you are one the best tennis players, you don’t have to worry about meeting my expectations every time, I don’t want you to think that I only care about you if you are playing”,

Art listens to that wishing Tashi could say that to his face, looking into his eyes, but he knows that it’s hard for her to express, and he was relief that she thinks like that, he knows that she was not only talking to Audrey, she was talking to him too.

So Audrey decided to take a career break, to take care of her mental health….

…

Tashi couldn’t help but feel disappointed, she also has mental health issues, it’s not easy to see other people living your dreams knowing you could make better than them, nobody loves tennis like her. She thinks is unfair how people get a second chance and she didn’t. How Art and Audrey got hurt but have a chance to recover, but she didn’t have this option. How people have the opportunity to play and they never going to be as good or as passionate about it as she is, but then she starts thinking that she doesn’t know how she would be if she didn’t got injured, maybe she would have burn out too after years of being a tennis star, but she will never know…..

…

“What am I supposed to do now?“, Audrey doesn’t know what to do when she is not playing tennis, when she is not trying to improve her performance. Tennis is the only thing Audrey is really good at, she needs to be the best on it, otherwise she would be mediocre and she hates to think herself that way.

The media still talks a lot about her, but she is afraid this is going to stop if she doesn’t get better soon… the anxiety hits her hard. At least Tashi and Art are by her side, taking care of her.

“I’m on a career break while she is playing”, Audrey says it while watching a Wendy’s match on tv, Art turns it off, “what difference does it make? She is not doing great, she’s not relevant without you”, Tashi affirms that like a dejavu.

Audrey can’t wait to get better, Art is helping her, he understands the stress she is being though, “I know how you feel, the pressure, the anxiety, you just need to reconnect to what made you love tennis in the first place”. What made her love tennis? To be admired. To feel complete. Audrey wants to be like Tashi, she wants Tashi admiration. She wants to be loved by most people as possible. To be loved is to be admired.

8.

Wendy was doing well at tennis, not like Audrey, but she is definitely good. Patrick is not the best coach, he do teaches her some of the things Tashi taught him, but besides that Patrick doesn’t do much, he hated to receive orders and he knows Wendy doesn’t like it too, he doesn’t want to change her, because changing her would be like seeing himself change….

But her lifestyle and lack of discipline starts to show off, she can’t be that lucky forever right? Patrick doesn’t help either. He did want to help her, but is not easy to let bad habits go away, especially when you are dating someone with the same bad habits. Wendy starts losing too many games, Patrick knows this situation really well.

All her money could pay was a coach whose career was mostly bad, after a while she stoped paying him, because that much failures means less money, but Patrick stayed of course, they were partners now. Maybe after all those years trying to get along with people that reminded him of Art and Tashi, what he really needed was someone that reminded him of himself. Patrick understood her, he isn’t trying to change her and she isn’t trying to change him, it just feels narcissistic to feel in love with someone that remind you of yourself.

But their relationship isn’t the best either…They hate themselves so bad behind their fake confidence, they are so equal, that when a resemblance of a personality trait they don’t like about themselves show up at the other, they obviously make a huge fight. They fight all the time and have hate fucking to “solve it”.

…

Wendy is sitting on the end of the bed while Patrick is standing right in front of her, she hugs his waist and look up while her chin rest on his lower abs, he grabs her hair gently,

“I’m like a dog Patrick, I can mess your house but at the end of the day I’m still here, i’m still yours”.

Is this how Tashi feels with Art? The devotion, Patrick never had someone so dedicated to him like this, so his, Art and Tashi loved him of course, but this was different, he felt fully accepted, irreplaceable…

“I don’t want to feel like that!!! And I want to ask you what to do, but I know I’m not going to follow, so what’s the point of even trying? Am I going to be like that forever?”,

“No, you can change if you want”, Patrick says this not only trying to make her feel better but also to make him feel better, he’s trying to give hope to both of them,

“If I change am I still going to be like myself? I don’t want to feel empty“,

“Aren’t you already empty?”,

Wendy look at him at the eyes, “If I change, what’s going to happen? If I became a better version of myself, whatever that means, I’m going to have nothing about me that I don’t like. I don’t know who I am when I don’t hate myself. That’s one of the things I really understand about me . I am a pice of shit and I accept it”,

And Patrick pretends that he had answers for questions he made himself when he was her age, trying to bring her the comfort that nobody did for him…

…

After Audrey took a break, Wendy got even worst, like she has no more motivation… after a terrible match, they are sitting in the car going to the hotel, in silence. She starts crying in the car, it’s ironic how she was pretending to not have water in the eyes then her crying lost control. Patrick felt a physical pain seeing her like that, it reminded him of the days he would cry alone at the car, well she is not alone, both of them are not alone anymore. He wants to help, he doesn’t want her to suffer like he did, commit the same mistakes. He needs to tell her that everything was going to be fine, so he could feel that everything was going to be fine for him too.

“I feel so irrelevant”,

“Don’t say that! You matter!”,

“No I don’t, I’m a joke, the tennis fans don’t care about me, nobody cares, my family, my friends, I don’t even have friends anymore”,

“I care about you!” Patrick says this not only because he means that, but also because that’s what he wanted to hear all those years,

Wendy gets emotional, “I care about you too”.

Patrick really means it, even that he didn’t know how long this relationship would last. Who would want to have a serious relationship with him? And Wendy think the same about herself …

Wendy wants Patrick because se was never accepted like that, she craves connection. To be loved is to be understood.

9.

After a while Audrey feels ready to go back to tennis, it’s finally announced that she is going to start playing again. The news motivates Wendy, gives her the focus that she needs, hoping that they can play against each other again….

Some days before the us open, Tashi, Art and Audrey are at the tennis club, they just finished doing her check in, as they walk away, they meet Patrick and Wendy, she goes to make her check in, knowing he wanted to talk with them, while Patrick approaches Tashi and Art, “Can we talk? It’s been a while”, the couple look at each other and agree, Audrey understands the situation and wait outside of the room, looking the three of them walk together to the parking lot….

“Life doesn’t go as we plan” Patrick tries to break the ice,

“Did you have many plans for your life?”, Art is being mean,

“Are we talking about tennis?”, Patrick wishes they could talk about their feelings too,

“We are always talking about tennis” Tashi says with a bored expression,

“I don’t think you ever had plans, I think you the type of person that is more attracted to the past than to the future” Art says annoyed by the situation,

“Are you sure you are taking just about me? The past it’s the only thing I have, it’s the only thing we have”, Patrick hates when they judge him like that, being hypocrites,

“What do you want?” Tashi asks impatient,

“Just wanted to talked with you, I miss you two”,

“You seem to be having a great time without us” Art cross his arms,

“Wendy is great”,

“You can’t take any responsibility in your life Patrick, you can’t be her coach this is ridiculous, the only reason you became a winner was because of me, you couldn’t help yourself, you can’t help her”, Tashi’s words hurts him,

“I’m already helping her”,

“Really? Great work”, Art says sarcastically,

“You going to destroy her” Tashi is so mad that they are having this conversation,

“I would never…”,

“It wouldn’t be your first time”,

“Tashi, you can’t be serious, do you still blame me for what happened to you?”,

“Athletes needs discipline, to follow rules, you don’t know how to do it without me, and I’m not going to help your girl beat mine”,

“We don’t need your help, that’s not why I wanted to talk to you…”,

“Right, wait until she is in her 30s to ask my help”,

Patrick gets angry, “no Tashi, I don’t want my girl to burn out like you did to your princess”,

“Oh fuck off” Tashi just walk away,

“It’s so clear you re using her” Art says while leaving,

“You are using Audrey too, don’t need to pretend that you two are better than me“,

Art walks away too.

10.

When Wendy finishes her check in and gets out of the room she meets Audrey, they only had an actual conversation once, Tashi and Art always had said that Audrey shouldn’t get close to Wendy, they think she is a bad influence, like Patrick. Wendy always wanted to get closer to Audrey, but never had the chance, she loves to be her biggest rival, it’s the most solid connection she has besides her relationship with Patrick.

“I’m glad you are better”, Wendy is nervous cause she doesn’t know if Audrey is going to talk to her,

“I’m glad too”, Audrey was always fascinated by Wendy, she used to hate to admit to herself, but she admires Wendy, “I’ll be happy if you make it to the finals with me”,

Wendy is surprised, “really? I thought you would be angry at me”,

“I was never angry at you, I was disappointed at myself, I had always envy how you play with no pressure….People expect a lot from me, when I win there no surprise, but when i lose is a huge disappointment”,

“You are a star, people will always built too much expectations, it’s inevitable that they will be disappointed, that’s their problem not yours”,

“It’s not easy to be a star, I feel like I gave permission to other people to control my life”,

“It’s not that easy to be a mess either. They don’t expect much of me, when i lose is normal ,when I win it exceeds people expectations, but that doesn’t last long…The thing about pressure is you can always try to meet people expectations, and that’s really hard, because after you achieve something people will expect another thing so it never ends, that’s how they control you. Or you can learn how to not care about people expectations and that’s when it comes the freedom…but being free is not easy either, I’m responsible for my life, and I think it’s clear that I’m not the best at it, I feel like I lost control”.

Tashi is getting closer and Art is right behind her, they call for Audrey.

“Good luck. I miss playing with you”,

Audrey respond with a smile and go meet her coaches.

Wendy goes to the parking lot to meet her coach, he seems angry until he looks at her and smirks offering his cigarette.

…

Audrey knows that one day she would have to be rational and broke up with them, she wanted to get married and have a family…

Wendy knows that one day she and Patrick would break up, because people like them are not built to commitment.

But breaking up doesn’t mean that is the end. And they are determined to enjoy as much of their careers and relationships.

…

The final match of the us open is about to start. Tashi and Art can’t believe Patrick have the audacity to sit next to them to watch the game.

The match is exciting, the rivals playing against each other was what the tennis fans were expecting in a long time.

…

The game is exciting and dramatic, like their relationship. At the most important moment of the match Art is holding Tashi’s hand and she is holding Patrick’s hand, like it’s natural for them. It doesn’t matter if they gets angry at each, that just mean their fire it’s still alive. They are tense for who is going to win, but it doesn’t matter what happens, they are together again because of tennis, like it’s meant to be. Audrey and Wendy are going to be rivals for some years ahead… they are going to have more chances of meeting again and again.

They are always going to have this connection… they are always going to find a way to have tennis in their lives… they are always going to be in this relationship…

[hufflepuffwriter1995]

The Witches Vow

  Summary: I had never believed I would own a hybrid, but when I found an old friend I had long since believed to have lost, I couldn’t help myself. But my friend only has one request, save the six others he is locked up with and I never have been able to say no to him. 

  Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x Fem!WitchReader 

  Themes: Found Family, Poly Relationship, Hurt and Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Hybrid AU, Fantasy, Supernatural, Magic 

  Warnings: Hurt, Angst, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of Sexual Assault, Injury and Hurt, Witchcraft and magic, hybrids being pets, eventual smut, brief mentions of murder. This has only been edited with the free version of Grammarly, so please be kind

  Rating: 18+ 

  Characters: 

Jin: Amur Leopard 

Yoongi: Black Tiger 

Hoseok: Lynx 

Namjoon: Artic Wolf 

Jimin: Arctic Fox 

Taehyung: Snow Leopard 

Jungkook: Red Fox 

Ryoko: Reader 

Notes: This was previously uploaded under the title "Finding the Pack" But upon re-reading it I decided I wanted to expand the fic a bit more, and felt the name didn't match the vibe I was going for. So it is now being re-uploaded as "The Witches Vow". Please do not steal my work.

  Chapter One

“You have a tail!” I turned, understanding washing over me as I spied my two-year-old self, sitting with a two-year-old young boy. At two Taeyhung was all energy, his white fluffy ears pinned towards me as his tail slowly slid behind his back. “That's so cool!” I gushed in two-year-old wonder. Taehyung instantly relaxed, a bright, boxy smile spreading across his little face. 

  “We are best friends now!” Taehyung announced all authority in his voice. Across the yard, our mothers chuckled, a fond look on both of their faces. The scene changes then, going black until I can spot myself and Taehyung again. This time we are older, about five and sitting in the tree house my father had built us after we began reading the Magic Tree House books and begged for weeks to get. While I didn’t need to, I had all these memories memorized I could recite them perfectly, I moved towards the sounds of childish giggles. 

   “Do it again!” Tae begged, eyes lighting up as I once again made the flower in my hand open and close. That had been the start of magic coming in and we had both been amazed by it. Naturally, I showed him first, I had shown him everything first back then. We were basically joined at the hip, the closest of friends. “It's so cool you can do magic!” He sighs wistfully. “All I can do is turn into a kitten!” 

  “But a cute kitten!” I giggle, my words causing Taehyung to flush a deep shade of crimson before swearing he wasn’t cute. The scene changed again, shifting this time to a cemetery. I stood dressed in black, my little hand tightly gripping Taehyung’s. We were seven and both watched as they lowered his mother’s casket into the ground. She had been murdered, but of course, at seven we hadn’t been given that information, we had only been told she had died suddenly.

  For the first time, I tore my gaze from my younger self and the boy that haunted my dreams and turned them to his father. He was wracked with guilt enough that it overlapped his grief. No tears were shed, and at the time I told my little self it was because Taehyung needed him. Now I knew the truth, knew what the man had done and felt the anger rising inside of me. 

   “Promise me you won’t leave me too,” Taehyung whispered, his voice drawing my attention back. Even now his words broke me, the pain lacing each word. 

   “I promise Tae.” And, at seven, I had meant that promise, meant it like the vow I would later make. As the scene changed again, I felt myself tensing, preparing myself for what I knew was coming. 

   “LET HIM GO!” I screamed, racing down the steps of my house, my father cursing out behind me. It was the day after the funeral and I was still in my Lilo and Stitch pajamas. But that didn’t stop me from racing towards the man carrying screaming Taehyung. As I reached him, the man kicked me, my gasp of pain and fear loud to my ears. 

  “Don’t you dare touch my daughter!” My mother screamed, her voice laced with anger as she slipped into her mama bear mode. But I paid it no mind, despite the pain racing up my ribs I jumped forward and grasped Taehyung’s hand, as if I had a prayer of pulling him free. 

  “Help! Help me!” Taehyung begged, tears staining his cheeks. 

  “Daddy do something! Curse him, mama!” I screamed, crying out in pain as the pain kicked me once again. This time, before I could lunge, my father had me in his arms. 

  “We can’t petal, that man owns Taehyung now.” His words, even then, didn’t make sense to me. How could someone own another person? Seeing the fear in Taehyung’s eyes, understanding I was powerless, I did the one thing I could at that moment. 

  “Taehyung, I make you a witches vow!” I screamed, ignoring my mother's gasp and her cries for me to stop. “I vow to find you Taehyung and I may never again live in peace until I do!” I didn’t know it then, but those words would haunt me. Not because I regretted making them, but because they would leave me with visions of the boy I had loved. 

   This time, as the scene changed, I knew it wouldn’t be good. The visions always started the same, showing me my past before showing me Taehyung’s present. Sure enough, as the scene settled I found myself in a barn I had grown to familiar with, despite never going there myself. The sounds of pained breathing filled my ears, along with the stench of young men chained together. Moving slowly, I made my way to the wall that held Taehyung and the others. Though I never did pay them much mind, my gaze was always focused on the snow leopard. 

  “Oh, Tae,” I whispered, kneeling as I studied him. He was skinny and hurt, a scratch on his head that was now caked with dried blood. I took a little comfort in knowing it still wasn’t bleeding, but it didn’t provide me with much. “I am still looking!” I had wanted to say more but movement caught my eye and I turned to find the ghost of a girl, she was around my age and from the look of her floppy red ears had been a fox hybrid in life. 

  “You can see me?” 

  “I can see the dead, but I wasn’t aware you could see me,” I replied, shock lacing my voice. The girl turned to Tae, who slowly lifted his head. 

  “You must go, he’s coming and I promise, you won’t want to see this but I will find you.” The ghost vowed and just that, as it always did, I was jolted back into my own present. 

   I let out a gasp I sat up in bed, my left hand flying to cover the “T” tattooed on my skin. The small letter had appeared after I made the vow, another reminder one was made as if I needed one. Taehyung, was never far from my mind, no matter what I found myself doing in life. One second of quiet was enough for me to draw up the latest vision, replaying it in my mind as if I could suddenly find a clue as to where he was being kept. In the years since that day, I never stopped searching. As I child I went to every police station I could, begging them to find my kidnapped friend. Some were kind, telling me softly that they could tell I was scared, but in the eyes of the law, Taehyung hadn’t been kidnapped, only sold. Others had only sighed, shoving away the photo the second they saw his fluffy white and black ears and told me to grow up and accept reality. 

  When I found no help there, I turned to my craft, attempting to scry for his location only to fail every time. I needed a piece of him for the magic to focus on, to feel and track and his father had never let me inside. The guilt and shame of what he had done had caused him to lock himself in his house and become a recluse. Not that I blamed him. He had gambled himself into debt with the wrong people and when they couldn’t get their money they killed his wife and took Taehyung to cover the payments. They didn’t care about the young boy they were stealing, only wanted to make him pay for a payment that was never his. 

   My parents had banned me from going over when they found out I was screaming the details of my visions through the door, determined to make him face the reality of the life he had forced his son into. Dad said he was suffering enough and Mama just claimed Taehyung’s fate wasn’t my story to share. She was right of course, she always was, but that didn’t stop me from wanting him to grasp the severity of what he had done, what his actions were doing to his son. A part of me, I suppose, also wanted him to feel the same pain I felt when I had to see him chained and beaten, to know I had failed him yet again. 

   Shaking my head, I thought about the latest vision, my attention for once turning to the ghost. Never once had I been seen in them, I had always been a spectator to whatever Taehyung was facing in those brief moments the magic pulled me towards him.  The fact that I was seen, even by a ghost, caused a flicker of hope to spread across my chest. Maybe she would keep her word, maybe she would find me or perhaps in the next vision she could tell me a location. 

  With more hope than I have had in years, I threw back the thick warm covers of my bed and climbed out of it, smiling as I heard the telltale signs of my cousin Aera bustling around the kitchen. Aera and I had gotten close after Taehyung had been kidnapped, as she was the one willing to help me find him at all costs. She had spent countless hours with me handing out flyers, begging anyone if they had seen him. It was through this that we met our friends Izzadora and Electra, the twins who were all too happy to grab some flyers and go out and do their own hunting. With them, they brought Jessamine, Luna and Kiko, and our search team of two grew into a search team of seven.

    I longed to tell Taehyung that he had a whole team of people searching for him, determined to bring him somewhere safe, but I knew he couldn’t hear me. The hours I had spent screaming at him when he was in his human form, begging him to just say anything, proved that. Shaking my head, pushing away those painful memories as I made my way downstairs. 

  While old, the house was the thing I was most proud of. After my grandparents passed, they left me with the house, or rather a small mansion to be fair. It had ten rooms, five bathrooms and a complete basement. I had also turned the attic into a small library and reading nook. Thankfully, the sales of my book series kept me afloat, allowing me to finish renovations while also putting a large sum aside for my savings. I had kept it to the original structure, doing my best to update it while also keeping that old-fashioned charm that I loved so much about it. 

   As I walked into the kitchen, I wasn’t at all surprised to find Aera staring at the coffee machine, watching as it slowly brewed with her head lying on her arms that were folded on the counter. Her black hair was pulled back into a braid, and her crimson eyes reflected in the coffee pot. Her eyes were always my favourite part about my cousin, they always reminded me of living flames, a sted fast reminder of the power brewing beneath her skin. As a fire fae, she was all flames and hot-headedness, which is why my uncles hadn’t waited to adopt her. They knew she would fit in well with their sass and man had she lived up to that. 

  “Another vision?” She said in a way of greeting, crimson eyes meeting mine for only a moment before looking back at the coffee. 

  “Yes, but I was seen this time, by a ghost.” My words caused her to let out a surprise yelp, standing up straight as she spun around to face me. 

  “You were what?” 

  “Seen, by a ghost, a fox hybrid judging by her ears,” I explained, as I grabbed out the stuff for breakfast. Aera may be able to strive on coffee alone, but I needed food to help me along. “She promised to find me.”

  “Why aren’t you more excited? Jesus this is wonderful news! We may actually find him now.” As she spoke, she settled back down in front of the coffee maker, the little bit of energy my news had spurred dying out. Aera never had been a morning person, her energy usually coming either after ten am or that first cup of coffee. 

  “I am hopeful, more so than I have been in the past but what if she can’t me?” Now that I was more awake, the doubts were starting to creep in, the fear that I had been so desperate to find him that I made up a ghost to help me. 

  “You know how your magic works, even in a vision once a spirit feels your magic they can track you. Lord knows I have seen you deal with enough clingy spirits to know damn well, even a brief encounter can draw them to you and before you say anything, if she could SEE you, she could feel your magic.” 

   I bite my lip, so desperately wanting to believe her but I was also getting scared, the fear eating at what little hope I once had. Sensing my doubt, Aera reached out and threw a small ball of fire at me, the ball just warm enough to shock me but not cause any harm. Scowling, I tossed a grape at her, earning a chuckle from her. 

  “Get out that head of yours.” She said softly, her gaze flickering to me as I let out a tiny gasp. “Hello dead person, my name is Aera. I can’t see you please bear that in mind for the duration of your stay.” I rolled my eyes at her, shaking my head as I looked at the ghost from my vision.

   “She seems fun.” The girl mused, eyeing Aera with a grin that caused my cousin to shiver under her gaze. “But I told you I would find you! It didn’t take me very long, your magic leaves a strong essence behind. They all felt, the boys I mean, but they didn’t see you. He vailed you from them. He brought in a witch once you made that vow. I remember I was there. He was so angry that he wasn’t told Taehyung was bound to a powerful young witch.” 

  “I imagine his father didn’t have time to tell him, seeing how Tae was taken.” I mused as Aera passed me a cup of coffee. Far too used to my conversations with the dead, she sat beside me, nodding as I quickly filled her in on what was said. 

  “I had told you that you were a powerful witch, stronger than anyone else in the family to be sure.” Aera said with a shit-eating grin that I knew was her version of an “I told you so.” 

  “Yeah, I like her! Anyways, if you want, I can take you to him. You can’t find him on your own, he cloaked your magic specifically but as a guide you wouldn’t really need magic.”

  “You would help us?” 

  “Of course, I want him to pay, and judging from the power I can sense off of you both, you wouldn’t hesitate to make him pay.”

  “Oh, I plan on burning everything down to the ground once we get there,” Aera said after I filled her in. “If he didn’t want to burn alive, he shouldn’t have pissed me off.” 

  “Take us, today, no more waiting.” 

  “Oh good, because he sold them. They will be moved tomorrow and then I can’t help you.” At her words, I jumped up, grabbed my keys and yelled at Aera to throw her coffee into a to-go cup. 

  “What a wonderful way to start the day, murder and a rescue!” I didn’t need to look behind me to know there was a wild gleam in her eyes. 

   It took four hours to get to the farm where Taehyung was held, four hours of my anxiety skyrocketing to the point I felt like I couldn’t breathe. What if Taehyung had forgotten about me? What if he hated me for taking so long to make good on my vow? All those thoughts kept jumping through my mind as Aera drove, taking turns as I told her, our ghostly guide seated between us. In the four hours of driving, I learned her name was Sana. She was the first Jeehung had collected through his debts. She told me all about how he only targeted those with hybrids, wanting to get his hands on them while also making their owners lose everything else in the process. It was fun for him, the pain he caused. 

  Jeehung was the only one working there, but lately, he had gotten too old to keep all his hybrids in line, seven I had learned. One of them, a tiger, had caused some serious injury the last time he attacked the hybrids. He had decided then they had to be sold. Sana had been killed that day, murdered as she tried to escape to get them all help. The boys had wanted her to run, to get her away from the horrors and took her murder hard. 

  We drove in silence up the long, gravel drive, the van bumping as we drove over potholes. The closer we got, the brighter the T on my wrist seemed to glow, and I knew Sana was right. Taehyung was close, so close I swore I could feel him. As we came to the stop, Aera and I glanced at each other before throwing the doors open. We had only taken a step when a man, the same man I had seen all those years ago, came barreling from the run-down house. 

  “You little fucking bitch!” He snarled as he stared at me, recognition filling his gaze. “I should have killed that stupid leopard.” 

  “Where is he?” I demanded, smirking as I raised a hand and vines sprang up around his feet, winding themselves around his legs. “I will only ask once.”

   “Why you can’t touch him? He’s being sold tomorrow and until then he is my property.” 

  “Actually I can, if I can prove that you have harmed or abused them in any way, or even murdered a hybrid, I can legally take over their guardianship.” His face paled at the word murdered, his gaze flickering between Aera and me, no doubt trying to figure out how we knew. “I can see her, you know. So while I don’t need you to tell me where it would help you in the long run.” 

  “Stupid little witch bitch.” He snarled, pulling a gun. Before he could aim it though, the gun was in flames, burning him enough that he dropped it with a yelp. 

  “Go, get Taehyung, I will handle this one,” Aera whispered, the flames in her hands turning a bright, silvery blue. I nodded, taking off after Sana as she led the way. 

  “TAEHYUNG I AM COMING FOR YOU!”

Taehyung P.O.V 

 Taehyung had long since stopped hoping for Ryoko to remember him. He had known, even at the age of seven, that she was destined to be a powerful witch. Even at the age of two, the buzz of the promise of her magic washed over him, a silent promise. She surely had more important things to do than worry about a boy she had met and lost in her childhood. Even if the little “R” on the inside of his wrist stood as a reminder of the desperate vow she had made that last day he had seen her. 

   There had been times though, the briefest of moments, when he swore he could feel that familiar buzz of her magic. Hell, he had even sworn at times he could hear her voice, hear the desperation in her voice as she begged him to tell him where he was. Those little moments he chopped up to that part of him that refused to give up hope, that refused to believe she would forget about him. For so long she had been his safe place, her memories the only thing that could get him through most of the abuse he faced. Closing his eyes, he let his head fall back down onto the worn wood of the barn and tried to ignore that part of him that had summoned her voice. 

   “Taehyung, if you don’t answer her she is going to get us killed.” Yoongi’s snarl broke through the silence, his words causing Taehyung to let out a desperate gasp. 

   “She’s here!”

[nicksolemnlyswears]

HOTD S2 EP3 THOUGHTS

SPOILERS AHEAD

sorry it took longer for me to post my thoughts. i had to take a moment to calm myself. i was shaking and crying. and then i wrote most of the post when tumblr decided to simply not save it 😒 this is my second attempt. enjoy

let’s start at the beginning shall we?

so happy to have milly back on another episode! the scene was weird as fuck though. daemon seriously needs to get out of harrenhal.

i feel very disconnected to daemon when he’s in harrenhal. i know most of the scenes are dreams but like he barely reacts to them? i don’t know how to explain it other than it’s sort of out of character?

then we get the bit at the dock. makes me wonder if rhaenys knows that alyn is one of corlys bastards? i think she does especially the way she says that their mom must’ve been really beautiful.

alicent asking for moon tea is hilarious. she’s trying to be so slick and failing. but also i thought moon tea was a plan b situation i didn’t realize it was fully an abortive tea!

love how larys catches on to it within a second. and he says what we all think NO ONE FUCKING CARES. my god alicent! you’re fucking criston cole. we all know. no one cares. you served your duty as wife to the king now he’s dead and your ‘free’ literally no one is judging you for fucking around.

now baela and jace are serving 💅🏽 with the outfits. i adore them they look so good! they are the IT couple rn and they deserve that title.

why must criston cole feel the need to call rhaenyra a whore? honey you are projecting. you are in fact the whore.

that lord deserves an award for defending rhaenyra. i was so damn happy when he told criston cole he doesn’t deserve the white cloak. YOU TELL HIM LORD. he should’ve called him alicents little bitch while he was at it.

the greens council…it was hard to watch. first of all, all aemond does is smolder and fangirl over daemon. whenever he’s not plotting some agenda he’s writing fanfics about his uncle i swear!

that being said i felt second hand embarrassment when aegon was not able to speak high valyrian. then again i thought he wasn’t going to even understand in the first place so its better than nothing.

now i’m gonna go on a big tangent regarding aegon.

i didn’t like him at all in the first season. he did some horrible things and i have not forgotten about them but i truly feel for him.

the fact that he’s inadequate at being a king is constantly rubbed in his face and it doesn’t fail to hurt him. he never wanted to be king. he knew viserys did not want him as king. so he never prepared.

he was forced on the throne as alicent and otto wanted more power for some reason. so now he’s trying his best to be a king and act like one but he’s always being undermined by everyone around him.

otto straight up told him viserys didn’t want him there. and alicent literally told him to sit pretty and let them do all the talking. it’s humiliating and frustrating.

i get alicent’s point about listening to others around you who have more experience but in reality they don’t want to offer advice. they want to act in his name. they don’t want him to do anything. they don’t think he’s capable and maybe he’s not capable but he’s trying to be. he could honestly be an actual king if anyone actually gave him a chance.

they all treat him like this object not like a person which is why he keeps making all these shitty decisions.

then she has the audacity to talk about all the sacrifices her and otto made to get him the crown?? HE DIDNT WANT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU HIGHTOWERS ARE A GREEDY BUNCH.

aemond is the person he thought could help him but that fucking psycho has plans of his own.

it’s isolating. it fucks with his mind. but i guess that’s enough for now. i could write a whole fucking essay on aegon.

so then we are back with daemon at harrenhal and honestly it’s getting a little boring. except for the moment where daemon is displaying as aemond. top tier comedy.

but we get a glimpse of laena!! i love having these actresses back if only for a scene. i hope we get a vision with viserys. i miss paddy ☹️

oh they mentioned benjicot!!! now we all look stupid cause that ‘davos’ guy was really not benji. (i still love the fanfics though. he’s a handsome man)

so rhaenyra disappears once more and the council doesn’t take jace, baela or rhaenys serious enough. it’s frustrating but omg the way jace spoke to rhaenyra when she retuned ???!!

my mother wouldn’t have taken that lightly

but it’s rhaenyra so she’s a sweetheart as always. i gotta say though that she’s taking things so calmly? like she took forever to return to dragonstone while the greens kept plotting. where were you girliepop?

i understand wanting to make sure the only way to get through this is through war but some urgency would be nice.

did jace learn how to speak like that from daemon? cause it was giving daemon including how he rested his hand on the sword handle.

now onto the battle at rooks rest:

where do i fucking start?

rhaenys is a queen. she is a true soldier. she knows how to battle. SHE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

if she said dracarys once…it was a lot.

ATTACK MELEYS. that’s how you fucking do it. that’s how you fight with dragons not just spewing fire at each other.

rhaenys is a queen and i had so many high hopes but i knew…we all knew she wouldn’t make it. i think she knew as well and it was so devastating. it’s one of the reasons why i was shaking at the end and crying too.

hey alexa please play ‘birds of a feather’ by billie eilish.

she survived so much but vhagar is just too fucking big. maybe if she hadn’t been sent alone this wouldn’t have happened.

so far this has been what has hurt me the most because i love rhaenys’ character and its gonna be so sad not having her around.

granted she went down like a true warrior. it was honorable.

sunfyre is the prettiest dragon to date. i’m so happy we finally got to see him. my gosh it brings me so much happiness to see aegon interacting with sunfyre. that man deserves some happiness in his life. it was truly heart warming.

now i don’t know what the fuck has gotten into aemond. i went to liking his character to completely hating him.

it’s truly each man for himself with this fucking family. tell me how aemond looked straight at aegon (who was happy to see his brother coming to aid) and yelled dracarys. WHAT THE FUCK MAN

this is what happens when you have shitty parents.

i’m not going to fucking stand here and say aegon was innocent when he has teased aemond all his life but does it warrant KILLING YOUR BROTHER? all because he teased you on the brothel when he saw you with your substitute mommy? GROW THE FUCK UP. I know he’s thirsting for the throne but my man you’ll get the chance trust me. THIS IS NOT THE WAY

FUCK i never thought i’d be on aegons side but then again no one on the show is on his fucking side. they don’t treat him like a fucking person but yet another thing to manipulate and it pisses me off

stricking him down wasn’t enough aemond had to find him and put his sword through his body too. thank fuck for criston cole. now that’s something i never thought id say

now i don’t know if he’s alive or dead. i personally think he’s alive but geez aemond. what the fuck?

why didn’t you give him the opportunity to flee in season 1? why must you do this?

if aegon is dead…i’ll be devastated. i’ve grown to like his character these last couple of episodes.

HELL EVEN CRISTON COLE WAS SHOCKED

THE ONLY ONE WHO WORRIED FOR AEGON THIS WHOLE EPISODE

Just goes to show how shitty these people are.

Bottom line. Meleys and Rhaenys had an honorable death. Inevitable once Vaghar joined in because that dragon is much too big. I wanted her to flee but I knew she wouldn’t. She has honor. ✊

also is alicent’s brother dead? or is he around somewhere?

i desperately need more helaena next episode. we didn’t even get a glimpse of her this episode. but if she’s gonna get hurt then i’d rather not have her on the episode. don’t know how ill live if that precious bean is hurt.

this post could’ve been better but my progress was ruined when tumblr decided to delete the post i was working on.

as always feel free to comment so we can talk more about this.

kisses! -Nikki 🤍

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

Maniac | König x M!Reader | Part I

Note: I had a dream about this after a talk with an AI and just had to write it down. I managed to survive my first exam so take this as a treat, I split it into two parts because it’s 9k Yes, instead of studying for my next exams I wrote this. Also, I can’t fucking write fight scenes what the hell like people get thrown around in this story like they weigh nothing, I’m sorry lmao. Also, this is not corrected and I feel like it’s all over the place but oh well. I suck at code names. Translation of the few words in different languages are at the bottom.

Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)

Warnings: Swearing, Fighting, Knives, Mentions of Homophobia, Unrealistic depiction of KorTac, the Military in general and uhh hand to hand combat?, Injuries, Angst, Slight NSFW, Slight OOC, Reader got a blood kink oopsie, König as well?? Unrealistic portrayal of lots of things

Summary: König’s relationship with KorTac’s local psychopath is something he himself doesn’t really understand. But when an incident happens and a picture of the two is circling around the army base they’re currently staying at, they finally address what is going on between them...

Word Count: 4,39k

Taglist: -

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Part II

Listen... 

He’s a soldier. He dealt with some shit. Trauma and other stuff, you name it. But this actually helps him, at least usually. He’s observant and quickly sees through people’s intentions because he’s always watching. 

But there’s just this one guy. This one man in KorTac who throws him off his game. Sergeant Y/N L/N.

When König first met him, Horangi pointed him out with an “Uh oh, he is here. I’m gonna go on the toilet real quick-” and poof, he left him alone in the cafeteria, completely flabbergasted. 

The man Horangi had meant was standing before Conor, holding a strange combat knife as if he was about to attack the Irishman. 

König had never seen him before but the KorTac logo on his black shirt implied that he was one of them.

“Come on, Conny, it’s been so long”, the soldier goaded while smiling.

To König that expression had been unsettling.

But it wasn’t just that, it was his whole appearance. The all-black attire is in contrast with the landscape of pale scars on the man’s arms and his face and the dark circles under his e/c eyes. And the posture seemed casual and relaxed but König’s fighter instinct told otherwise.

If the Austrian came across him in an abandoned alley, he would be on high alert. 

Even during that moment, witnessing whatever the hell was going on between him and Conor, König’s body had tensed. And the other people in the cafeteria seemed to share his discomfort based on the murmurs going around and all the eyes on the two of them.

Additionally, König knew that Declan had a past reputation for physical altercations, and based on the growing vein on his forehead, it was likely that a fight would break out if no one stopped the KorTac operator.

He didn’t understand what the guy tried to achieve. Was he provoking Conor on purpose? To fight in the middle of the mess hall??

The look in the man’s eyes and the sharp blade in his hand weren’t implying some friendly sparring though...

Thankfully, Stiletto who had been watching with Calisto walked up to them before anything could happen. The badass she was, she grabbed the soldier by the biceps without any hesitation, diverting his focus. 

“Atom, Majka will be on your ass again if you cause another disturbance so soon after your return”, she warned him, her voice sharp. 

The man looked at her hand on his arm, then at her eyes. She didn’t let go.

For a second, König expected Atom to lash out but to his relief, he just held up both of his hands in defeat. He even smiled apologetically.

“You’re right, we can’t have that. Sorry, sorry. My bad, Conor.”

The Irishman showed him the middle finger. 

“Please eat shit and die, Y/N.”

“Awe, come on man. Don’t be so hard on me, I just missed our little fights. It was always so entertaining, even though you lost all the time!” 

“You can spar in the gym during PT, not here. Put that damn knife away, putain” Calisto interceded before Conor could explode. 

Y/N huffed and Salvatrice let go of his arm. He was about to sheathe his knife when his eyes landed on König and they made eye contact.

Something sparked in the e/c eyes and uh oh was all the Austrian could think before the h/c haired man walked over to him, his combat knife still in his hand, smiling widely.

“Who do we have here... Are you new? I’ve never seen you before!” Atom exclaimed, a glint of something in his eyes that König couldn’t quite name. 

The fact that the operator stopped barely a few inches away from him made him feel slightly uncomfortable. Those eyes bore into him and although the man was a head and a half smaller than him, König felt somewhat intimidated.

“Why are you wearing a shirt on your head?”

“I’m-” he began, taking a step back to gain some distance but Y/N followed him until a hand suddenly blocked him off. Horangi had returned.

“He’s König, our new addition to Strazar-1. Atom, can you just let us eat dinner? We’re starving.”

“I’m Sergeant Y/N L/N, but you can call me Atom. König means king in German right?” 

Y/N completely ignored the Korean, still holding eye contact with the tall Austrian. He just nodded. 

At this point, there were many eyes on him and he still was a little jittery because they arrived at the base only a few days ago and the local soldiers stared whenever they saw his height and his mask. It made his social anxiety flare up.

“I’m really fucking hungry, man”, Horangi said again, this time stepping in front of König who backed up, thankful to gain some distance. 

“Then go eat. I want to talk to our friendly giant here.”

Atom’s tone was almost aggressive now. He twirled the knife in his hand, a small smile on his lips as he stared down at Horangi. It didn’t reach his eyes though, they were cold. Fuck off, his expression said.

“I’m actually hungry too”, König says, not wanting to continue this very uncomfortable conversation with this weird guy. Der hat eine an der Waffel, dem geh ich besser aus dem Weg he thought.

“Oh, we can eat together then!”

Y/N was about to turn around and walk to grab a tray when they heard their team leader shout: “Atom, get your ass in my office now!” 

The sergeant swiveled around, saluting Majka who appeared out of nowhere at the mess hall entrance with crossed arms in front of his chest. 

“Jebote, put that fucking knife away and follow me.” 

Majka turned to leave and the soldier clicked his tongue in annoyance but he did as ordered and followed him without dilly-dallying.

König could hear the RS team leader growl You really need to stop swinging that around like it’s your dick when they both left the cafeteria and walked down the hallway.

Horangi turned to him, taking his sunglasses off and massaging his forehead.

“I should’ve known. You’re too tall for your own good, man. He’ll be after you.”

König stared down at him with a frown, not that his friend could see.

“What do you mean??”

Stiletto and Calisto joined them, the two women looking at him with a resemblance of pity. 

“That mec is crazy, König.”

The Italian woman nodded. “It was so peaceful when he was away”, she sighed.

Horangi added: “Yeah. I hope the higher-ups put his ass on another secret mission soon, I don’t want to watch my back 24/7 again.”

König stared at them slowly understanding that Atom seemed to have a pretty bad reputation. But was that really deserved? 

Calisto patted his arm. “Make sure to carry a tactical knife with you wherever you go.” Her tone was dead serious. 

He looked at her and then at the other two. They nodded.

“Are you saying he’ll try to hurt me?”, he asked, his expression a mix of surprise and worry. 

He wasn’t quite sure whether he should believe them. After all, Y/N was in KorTac just like them. They wouldn’t just let a crazy guy work in a PMC right? 

“He won’t kill you”, Stiletto said, turning around to go grab a tray to eat, “but if you don’t watch yourself he might poke you a bit with his Atom Splitter.” 

He tilted his head confused.

“His knife”, Horangi helpfully provided, as they followed Stiletto’s lead, each grabbing a tray and some cutlery to get some food.

“You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” he asked. They loved to play pranks on him.

“You’ll see, big boy.”

And oh, he really did.

-

At first, it was unnerving. Getting jumped whenever he wasn’t looking. He blinked once and before him suddenly stood a grinning Atom, his curved combat knife in hand, ready to strike. 

After the first time getting caught without a weapon and being slammed to the ground, blade held against his throat - Atom’s face with that unsettling grin barely a few inches away from him - he followed Calisto’s advice and brought a knife with him wherever he went. 

Not that he used it to injure the other operator. 

Atom hadn’t really hurt him either in all the fights they had, at least not with the knife. They threw some punches and did some tackling and throws but they never drew blood. This was one of the reasons why König eventually got used to the fighting, even if they always ended with the sharp metal against his throat and he was sore for days after it.

In the beginning, he was anxious that the guy would switch up and one day just drag the blade across his jugular but he never did. Not once did he slice König’s skin, not even by accident. 

Atom’s control over his knife was something he had never seen before. 

His fighting skills were on another level and although the Austrian considered himself an expert in hand-to-hand combat, he knew that he could learn a lot from the sergeant and their fights. When he realized this, his opinion about the attacks turned from unsettling fights into sparring.

Atom actually called it training and König began to agree. 

Even though the h/c haired man attacked him with true killing intent every time. But maybe that was what actually helped him.

It kept him on his toes, his senses sharp. 

And yeah it was a little weird that Y/N targeted him at all times of the day - he had literally attacked him in his sleep once on a mission - and that he always had a wide-eyed grin on his lips when they fought but hey, it drastically improved König’s skills and instincts. 

And after some time he began to even enjoy their little dances. Severely actually. Especially after he won for the first time. 

That moment when their positions had reversed - König’s blade to Atom’s throat for once, his knee digging into his chest to keep him on the ground - he felt an adrenaline rush he never experienced before and it left him feeling what he could only call giddy. 

It was 5am, most of the base was still fairly quiet and Y/N had surprised him in the gym room right when König wanted to go and change his clothes for a morning session.

The sergeant didn’t say anything, just swung his knife and König reacted in the nick of time, having felt something was off. He grabbed his combat knife and they exchanged blows and when Atom extended his arm a bit too far for once, the Austrian took the chance and grabbed him, twisting his body to throw him over his shoulder.

In an instant, he was on top of him, holding a dazed Y/N down with one hand, pressing the blade against his Adam’s apple with the other.

“You got me”, Atom grunted, panting slightly from the exertion of their exchange, his pupils blown wide and once again that familiar grin on his lips. And König returned it under his mask.

“Fuck yeah, I got you”, he said still catching his breath, emphasising a bit of pressure on the blade, not enough to cut the sergeant’s skin but enough for him to feel it.

“That’s 22 to one. Still got a lot to learn, big boy.” 

König rolled his eyes and sheathed his knife. He held his hand out for Atom to take and to his surprise, the h/c haired man actually did. He stood up with his help but without letting himself be pulled. 

“Well, you better be prepared.”

Y/N snorted, something flitted across his face. His smile widened even more.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see.” 

He picked up his Atom Splitter where he had dropped it and then turned to walk out of the room, whistling a tune. And so he was off to god knows where, like always.

The Austrian watched him disappear through the doorway and a breathy laugh escaped him. He shook his head somehow amused. How the hell did I reach this point? 

It was so strange to feel enjoyment after another of their exhausting fights. But he truly did enjoy it. The sweet taste of victory.

For a moment he let their sparring replay in his head. He was unsure whether it was just luck or if he actually overpowered Atom. His thoughts returned to the man lying under him, grinning, the e/c of his eyes almost impossible to see with his blown pupils. 

Something stirred in his chest.

He breathed out loudly and then went to go shower, trying to get that image out of his head.

-

A few months pass and one day when König has just returned after an operation in Al Mazrah, he’s on his way to the barracks after showering when he meets Horangi, Zeus, and Conor, the latter clearly agitated. 

“I hope he takes a fuckin dirt nap on his next op!”

“Relax, Declan, it looked like he was actually trying to help this time”, Zeus said, handing the Irishman a cool pack. The redhead put it on his nose which looked swollen. 

“Help?! The fecker can’t even-” Horangi interrupted Conor’s tirade with a “König, hey! You’re back!” 

He greeted them with a wave. “What happened?”, he asked motioning at Declan, pressing the cool pack against his face. 

“That nut job Atom-” he begins but Horangi interrupts him once more: 

“The marines are causing some trouble. Apparently, we’re overstaying our welcome, there’s a lot of tension, and Majka and Ridgeback are discussing things with the higher-ups for us to move to another base. Atom... isn’t really helping with the tension...”

“The cunt pulled his knife on one of their new captains!”

“He probably missed you”, Zeus jokingly adds, addressing the fact that the KorTac operator with his madman reputation hasn’t targeted anyone else but König since they started sparring together. 

The Austrian snorts, the thought would’ve never crossed his mind. 

But a few hours later after he parted ways with the three, the door to the room he shares with the other male KorTac operators gets thrown open with a loud bang and lo and behold; Y/N stands in the doorframe, in his hand his trusty Atom Splitter.

His heartbeat immediately picks up in anticipation.

The sergeant looks somewhat different. The dark circles under his eyes appear to be even darker than usual and he even has some stubble as if he hasn’t shaved in a few days.

Atom’s expression is unreadable until his eyes find König, sitting on his bunkbed at the far end of the room. 

“There you are!” he says joyfully and rushes over, reaching him with just a few strides. 

He stops, looming over König who’s still sitting on the bed. Their legs touch, he’s standing so close. König puts the book in his hands away, trying to appear casual and he looks up to him.

“Atom.”

“König.”

For a minute they just stare into each other’s eyes. The silence feels awkward, something is simmering in the air and König’s grip on his switchblade under his pillow turns sweaty. His chest flutters, a nervousness he knows only too well. He can feel heat radiate from where their legs touch.

Y/N’s look is different than usual. He seems to consider something.

“You...”, he begins, the sergeant’s eyes trailing to his backpack on the floor that he hasn’t unpacked yet, “had fun on the mission?”

König blinks, the sudden question throwing him off. 

He was expecting a knife aiming at his chest, not a small talk question. They never do small talk. He can’t even remember if Atom ever asked him a question after they first met that day in the cafeteria. 

They talk smack. But they don’t talk about their personal life or time or their favorite color. König only knows Atom’s age because Zeus told him he’s older by two years.

“I- uh... well, not really”, he says after the initial surprise wears off. Al Mazrah was just sweat, dirt, and not enough sleep.

Y/N nodded slowly, humming in acknowledgment. 

“It wasn’t fun here either”, he says light-heartedly while looking towards the door and casually twirling his knife in his hand but something in his posture tells König that Atom is not feeling relaxed at all. Rather he seems tense.

“Why’s that?”, he asks with an almost soft voice. He looks up at him.

The man remains quiet. König remembers Horangi’s words about the marines and although he’s curious, he doesn’t want to prod, and based on the sudden halt of Atom’s knife twirling, they won’t talk in the next few minutes anyways.

“Doesn’t matter”, Y/N starts, his signature grin forming on his lips, “You know why I’m here.”

He steps away from him, bowing mockingly. König rolls his eyes, seeing this as his cue to stand up. He pulls his knife from under the pillow, activates the blade, and stands tall, now towering over Atom.

“Since when do you announce your intentions?”, he asks, slight amusement can be heard in his voice. 

“Just today, since I missed you”, Y/N replies and the Austrian can’t even be surprised that Zeus was actually right or question the flutter in his chest because in the next second Atom Splitter is aimed at his chest and he blocks the knife in the nick of time. 

Their dance begins. But something’s different this time. The h/c haired man isn’t showing any killing intent at all while he attacks. It throws him off his game a bit.

Additionally, König quickly realizes that the barracks aren’t a good place for him to fight, the space between the bunkbeds isn’t that big and his size makes it hard for him to move his body effectively. 

He retreats towards the door, luring Atom towards the front of the room where there’s more space. Y/N follows him eagerly, taking the chance to stab at him with a knowing look on his face. 

The Austrian isn’t sure if it’s his own exhaustion after the op or if Y/N got some Dragon Ball power-up during their time apart but he understands that, unlike their last fights, Atom is not taking him seriously, instead he’s teasing him. And somehow it annoys him. 

The sergeant throws a glove from Hutch’s bed at him and he ducks, when a sock follows, blocking his eyes for a second. He receives a kick to his thigh as a reward.

“No fighting dirty!” he protests, knowing full well that Y/N is just trying to agitate him like he often does. 

“Tell that to all the hostiles out there!” Atom responds, grinning, dodging König’s knife effortlessly. The giant snorts.

“They wouldn’t throw a goddamn sock at me!”

He blocks the Atom Splitter, a few inches away from his throat. 

“Based on the smell, it could be considered a biological weapon, so yeah, they would”, the sergeant responds, laughing, blocking the other’s fist.

König rolls his eyes, cursing when he gets kicked again at the same place. Y/N dives low and picks up Hutch’s sock again attempting to throw it once more, grinning.

Oh no, you don’t!

König seizes his knife arm and he flips Atom onto the ground in one swift motion, holding his arms down with his legs on each side of his torso, pressing his knife against the sergeant’s throat.

“Got you”, he pants, knowing that Y/N probably let it happen. But it doesn’t matter. His knife reached his collar first. In their usual terms, it’s his win.

The h/c haired man lifts his hips in a fake attempt at throwing him off while grinning widely, the knife digging into his skin, almost drawing blood. "Come on König, we just started..."

“You’re crazy”, the Austrian says, shaking his head, smiling weakly under his mask, “have you ever considered therapy?”

The h/c haired man laughs an amused look on his face. “Fighting is my therapy.”

“You could use a punching bag then.”

Atom shakes his head and replies: “Why should I? I’m having so much fun when sparring with you. I can let go of all my pent-up stress.”

König can see that he means it, there’s a glow in the e/c eyes. He looks rejuvenated. So ein komischer Kerl.

“Why not let off some steam elsewhere?”, he begins, a thought forming in his head when he realizes that they haven’t competed against each other in anything besides sparring. 

Y/N stares at him with a surprised expression but he quickly smiles, intrigued.

“Oh? What do you suggest?”, he asks, lifting his head to lean closer, his voice suddenly deeper. 

König retracts his knife and stands up, deactivating the switchblade.

“How about- and hear me out - an obstacle course? Winner gets to boast about it to the others and loser will take his guard shifts for the next two weeks? Sound good?”

Atom wrinkles his nose, clearly not interested. He sits up, propping up his arm on his knee, twirling his knife. He clicks his tongue in disappointment.

“I’m good thanks.”

König holds out his hand and he grabs it, standing up swiftly. Instead of letting go, the Austrian keeps holding on, staring down at Y/N.

“Are you scared? What - you’re only confident in putting a knife against someone's throat? Makes you feel tough?”, he provokes him, grinning underneath his mask.

He’s feeling daring today after having won that fight and seeing Atom so playful.

The sergeant looks up at him, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re misunderstanding”, he begins, pulling his hand away with force, “I get excited when a knife is against someone’s throat. Try riling up Horangi with these remarks, he cares about stupid contests like that.” He sighs dramatically. “This got boring real quick.”

He dusts off his shirt and König crosses his arms over his chest.

“So you’re calling me a bore?”, he asks acting offended.

“Here I was thinking you’re having the time of your life when fighting me.”

He made a swiping motion over his mask as if wiping away a tear. “Okay then, let’s make this exciting again.”

König activates his switchblade once more, lazily holding it against Y/N’s throat. He tilts his head as if asking: you good now?

Atom just looks up at him, his brows knitted, somewhat annoyed. 

“Don’t tease me, König”, he grunts, “You can’t handle the consequences.”

The Austrian ignores his warning and he smirks: “What's the matter, sarge? Getting excited?”

Atom harshly grabs him by the collar, pulling him down, while simultaneously snatching his mask, lifting it against his eyes, covering them with the fabric. 

“Wha-”, he begins but gets silenced by the sudden pressure on his lips and the taste of coffee. 

It isn’t a kiss, it’s more like Atom is trying to bite him. 

König’s subconscious reaction is to shove him away, but Y/N’s grip on his collar is tight. 

After a few seconds, the sergeant lets go and retreats and König automatically gasps for air, utterly shocked about Y/N’s action. 

"What the hell are you doing-?!”, he asks, staring at the man who just smiles, his e/c eyes dark. 

He looks down at König’s knife and then touches his throat, wiping his thumb across it and then he licks it while holding eye contact with him.

“Don’t bite off more than you can chew, König.”

And then Y/N turns and walks through the open door. He disappears. Just like that, leaving the flabbergasted Austrian alone in the room, breathing heavily.

What the fuck?? Is his only thought. What the absolute fuck?! 

Did that really just happen? He stares at his hands, he’s still holding the knife. The blade is slightly red. 

He cut him. 

König is the first one to actually draw blood. 

Oh, mein Gott. He could’ve killed him. Had he actually pushed him, he could’ve-

No matter the absolute loop the kiss is throwing him into, he’s more concerned about Atom’s well-being and without thinking any further he hurries out of the room trying to follow wherever Y/N could’ve gone. 

In the hallway, he passes a marine who looks at him strangely for running so fast. 

König reaches the end of the corridor where it parts into two ways. He goes left.

In the end, he doesn’t find Y/N and instead meets Stiletto and Roze who stop their conversation immediately when they see him turn around the corner, frantically looking around.

“König? You good?” Roze asks. He shakes his head. “Have you seen Atom?”

Stiletto lifts an eyebrow. “No? Why?”

He uses his mask to wipe the building anxiety sweat from his face. “I injured him, in a- a fight. He’s bleeding.”

The two women look at each other, they’re clearly taken aback by the concern in his voice. 

“Maybe he went to the infirmary?”, they suggest and he nods. Yeah, that makes sense. Before they can add anything else, he’s off.

A few minutes later he reaches the infirmary where their medic is currently stationed. 

“Vic, did Atom pass by?” he asks when bursting into the room. She’s eating an apple and continues scribbling something in a file, completely unfazed by his dramatic entrance.

“Nope”, she says, popping the p. 

“I accidentally cut his throat”, he explains. 

She hums in annoyance. “I didn’t ask- you cut his throat?” The woman looks up, lifting an eyebrow at him with a deadpan expression.

“Shallowly- I think. I wanted to know if he came to take care of it.”

She takes off her glasses and kneads the bridge of her nose. “No, he didn’t. You sure it was shallow?”

He nods slowly. “There isn’t much blood on my knife.” He holds it up to her, activating the blade. She looks at him, then the knife, and then back at him, before sighing. 

“König, get the fuck out of here.”

“Can you tell me if he-”

 “Now!”

She points at the door. He walks out without protesting and softly closes the door behind him.

In the hallway, he just stands there for a minute. 

The last ten minutes feel like a fever dream. His mind is blank as he stares at the mental health awareness poster on the opposite wall, the only questions in his mind why did he kiss me? and did I really like it?

Part II

___

Translations (freely mostly)

putain - French: “fuck” in this context meant more like “idiot”

Der hat eine an der Waffel, dem geh ich besser aus dem Weg - German: “He lost his mind, I’d better avoid him”

Jebote - Serbo-Croatian: “For fuck’s sake”

mec - French: “dude, guy”

So ein komischer Kerl - German: “Such a weird guy”

Oh, mein Gott - German: “Oh, my god”