#i swear I’m normal | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

poetpony6890 · 1 month ago

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Drunken words, Sober thoughts

“Why would you allow him to drink that much?!” Alden exclaimed, watching as Ash shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh do not give me that shit. Who were you drinking with?” Alden asked, as Kit kept heaving into the bucket placed behind the sea creature covered panel, although it did not provide much privacy as everyone watched.

“Matais and Altair.” Ash replied, seeing no point in lying as neither of the two could kept their mouths shut.

“Where?” Alden asked, soothing the silk fabric of Kits traditional nixie drape, which had recently come into fashion with the arrival of a new king, they called them flows, as they hung off each limb of the body.

“In the woods.” Ash answered, moving towards the vanity that used to be Adaons to look at himself.

“Bullshit.” Alden declared, as Kit heaved once more into the wooden bucket.

“In the tent.” Ash muttered, Alden threw up his hands as Kit threw up his breakfast.

“Why would you go in there?! That was the one place Kieran told you not to go!” Alden scolded.

As Ash blandly ignored him and fixed his fabric in the mirror, the wooden door to the fae lantern lit room swung. In came both Denaruis, dressed in a flow as well, maroon and ebony and Kieran.

Since becoming King, the thing that has changed the most about the youngest son was his appearance, he had sunned the thought of how he had been dressed before, descended from years of cruelty, he had switched out the three piece ensemble that everyone had seen his father wear, and now regarded as a nixie head, an ivory and azure stained flow with a matching pair of opal earrings, and a stunning necklace.

His hair had even grown twice as long, now reaching the end of his shoulders, this time more wavy than ever.

“What is the matter?” He asked, coming around to the opposite side of the panel, bending down beside his nephew, ruffling Ashes silver blond hair well passing, who adjusted the ruby gem in the centre of his chest.

“Drinking is the matter.” Alden stated clearly, as Denaruis moved over to the large than normal round.

Not only had the fashion of the courts changed, but also the decor, Kierans first thought as King was to demolish the awful marble chairs that he had been informed no one had the guts to tell his father they did not like with a silver hanging chair, with handmade pillows, soft cushions and a table in the central.

“Who with?” Kieran asked, as Ash called Denaruis over with his hands to sit with him, bringing Adaons brush.

“Altair. In the tent.” Alden stated, as he got up and joined his honorary nephew and his brother.

“Are you fucking-?!” Kieran started.

“I love him so much and he hates me because I’m a dog murder!!” Kit suddenly came to.

“Ty?” Ash asked, who was now playing a game of cards with his uncles, which he always seemed to lose.

“It was just a dog.” Kieran stated, as the door to the room opened once more hastily as his mother came in.

“We replaced the dog.” Alden declared, slamming his cards down on the table and collecting his winnings.

She rushed over with a handfuls of fabric, bending next to the bucket and holding them out for Kieran to look over, as she did so she realized Kit was still heaving. She leaned down beside him and brushed his soft blond hair aside to avoid the vomit.

“It wasn’t just a dog. I yelled at him!” Kit cried as Thea slipped the sleeves of his vomit soaked flow off him.

“So, you yelled at him?” Alden questioned, shuffling the painted cards.

“He probably hates me!” Kit kept going, as Thea stood up and slid over to the wardrobe that had been a welcoming gift from the new kings many subjects, who upon seeing what he was capable of, wished to be.

“Why do you care so much about him? He is just a shadow hunter.” Denaruis asked, looking at his cards.

“Because I love him!” Kit sobbed, as Kieran stood but and moved over to his wooden wash table.

No one commented as Kieran pressed a cloth to his face to remove the mess, then Thea came behind him and slid an embroidered nightgown over his head, then down to his legs, helping him stand up on his feet.

“Do you love him or do you think to love you have to be in such pain?” Alden questioned, placing a card.

As Kieran helped him onto his bed, tucked him under the blankets, he wondered what the answer would be.

“No more drinking.” Kieran declared as he left the bed and joined his brothers on the floating seat.

After a few tosses and turns, the door opening and closing as Thea set out on her latest trend, Basil came in to gamble with a handful of coins, and finally General Winter came in to check on Kit, who he had watched try and keep up with Altair the alcoholic. He brassed his hand over Kits forehead, who glared at him.

“I helped him raise his sister from the dead.” Kit muttered, Winter leaned down to hear him.

“What do you mean you helped raise his sister from the dead?!” He shouted, Kieran and Alden whipped around.

“You raised his sister from the dead, what is wrong with you!!” Kieran shouted, swinging from his seat.

“I love him, Kieran.” Kit stated, as his uncle came and folded his knees in front of him.

“I know you do. What made you believe you had to do that?” Kieran wondered.

“Because he asked me to.” Kit whispered, looking deeply into Kierans saddened slate eyes.

From the seat, Ash swung off and came to join the two on the bed but not before removing his dirty boots.

“If he asked you do shoot yourself in the head would you do it?” Kieran asked, holding up the blanket for Ash

“If it saves him.” Kit muttered, Kieran shook his head disapprovingly, as Ash laid next to his brother.

As both Alden and Denaruis came over, Kit was certain he would shoot him self in the head for Ty. Tiberius.

“You must reflect for a moment on that thought, surely you would not go to such lengths for someone who would not even visit you well you here cooped up with those faceless freaks.” Denaruis shamed.

Yet on of those very same freaks had allowed him into his house, his life, his heart and he had packed up and left with the very same people he had been protecting him from long before he was born.

“He was going through a hard time.” Kit cleared, as Alden came to the left of him and soothed his head.

“When people go through a hard time they drink. When people change the foundations of their futures, they become someone else. Someone you may not know.” Winter declared, coming beside Kieran, who held Ashes hand as he fished with the rings on his fingers.

“I do know him.” Kit stated, relaxing into Alden’s hand as he messaged his scalp with his soft fingers.

“You have an unclear version of love I believe. People who love you would not ask for you to do such things.” Kieran stated, Kit thought back to the many times he had wished for love in that lonely house, waiting.

“I know what love is, I’m not stupid.” Kit shot, gazing his drunken eyes over the tapestry of animals over him.

“I did not say you were, Scoldia. What does love mean to you, in your heart? Have you ever felt it?” Kieran asked, as Winter watched Ash glare at Kit, Kit glare at the ceiling, Alden glare at Denaruis and Denaruis at him

“A lot more than you have.” Kit shot, Kieran, already a tad impatient, took a breath before losing it.

“You think so? Do you think love is being left for dead with a pack of wolves, do you think love is being locked in a house with no key? As a prince at a top of a tower you are. You have no context of love because you have never had it. Love is not leaving you alone for weeks because they could not deal with you. Being forced to take pictures in the bath, to be seen nude as a statue. Thrown against walls, punched in your jaw,burned with cigarettes where the eye does not meet, beaten with a belt until your back was raw at your refusal. Some people are not capable of love, Kit. If you had ever been given any you would know this.” Kieran finished, trying to raise his alarmed voice.

“We needed money.” Kit breathed as he turned into the feathered pillow beneath his head.

“You needed a father.” Kieran murmured, shaking his head.

“You need a father.” Kit drunkenly answered.

“I killed my father and for good reason.” Kieran stated, as Denaruis nodded in agreement.

“Well, I didn’t kill my dad. We aren’t the same.” Kit shoot.

“You didn’t have to. His vileness still seaps within you.” Kieran spat, standing from the bed back to the seat.

“I could say the same for you.” Kit argued, causing Ash to slap his shoulder slightly and Alden to back up.

“If you wish for me to say that I am an awful fae so be it. I am awful, I am vile, I am mean. I am aware of my actions, I have never claimed to deny them. I murdered my father, the father of my brothers. I would never go back and change what I have done. He was an absolute horrid man, an abusive father and an awful king. Every night I go to bed with the information that I have done it for the better.

Same goes for slitting Erecs neck open, I would do it every day over, because although they may not live forever, the memory of it will in my mind. I did not do it for just myself, I have done it for every one of the members of my tower, who have insured his rein. I have found them inner justice as I hope you can as well. Do not let your upbringing affect who you will become, because I know in my soul that you are much more than a monster, a dealer, a snake, an informant. If you never see yourself as more, you will never be more.”

“But that’s all I know, what if I’m not good at anything else?” What if that is all I’m ever going to be?”Kit asked, allowing his eyes to glaze over with the wine.

“You must stop thinking about who you were and start thinking of who you are.” Alden cleared.

“I don’t know who I am.” Kit hushed, looking towards his elder uncle as his eyes glazed over into sleep.

“You will find out as we all do, through error. I did not become General over a night. You must fail before you succeed. We will find a way to rid you of the ghosts of your pasts.” Winter cleared, as Kit remained silent.

“Why were you drinking to begin with?” Kieran asked, now turning to face Ash.

“He wished to, I simply came along. I did not drink.” Ash verbalized, as Kieran rolled his dark eyes.

“Why did he wish to drink?” Kieran questioned, forming a pleasant dream in his hands for his nephew.

“It ‘tis all he has ever known.” Ash muttered, leaning into Kits chest and falling asleep same as him.

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