#i survived it and it was not my fault
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sometimes taking the train feels like a cruel joke by the universe
#why did i miss the first possible train i could take cause i was putting on my mask#i was there 5 minutes before the train was there and i missed it bc i walked to the doors and out on my mask#the second train i could take was late and so fucking stuffed ive never been on a train that full#it was late on every stopp for a few more minutes cause it was so full ppl could hardly get on#and now im at my destination waiting for my bus and i saw that the third possible train had a waggon more than the one i took and free seats#i swear to god this often makes me belive bad stuff is my fault cause i was there#also my technique to calm down is to take deep breaths and taking deep breaths in a train thats full of ppl wothout their masks on is super#scary#but i survived it#and it was not my fault there were so many ppl on that train#and it was also not my doing that the train after it had free seats#i couldnt have known abt it#and if i took the chance and it would be late id be home an hour later than anticipated#right now its only thirty minutes#i survived it and it was not my fault#ben vents#ben talks#bennitastisch
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This was funnier in my head
I felt bad for Alfira my first Durge run, but then I saved her in another and was reminded that she is, kinda, a bit annoying lmao
#girl i said leave my camp#ur own fault really#I don't hate her I'm just joking#but them squirrels weren't wrong#surviving only cuz my durge needs the robe is crazy#funny how default durge is sorc & kills noc that gives the best sorc robes#dark urge#original character#oc#bg3 durge#durge#drow#bg3 dark urge#eshra#astarion x durge#astarion#alfira#started hating the vid while making it ngl
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sometimes i think about THIS jennifer jareau and i’m-
#i know she was traumatized#but still LOOK at her#i’m sorry for simping for you when you’re struggling jj#it’s not my fault you’re so hot#emily how did you survive seeing this#i know emily had a gay panic right there#this was so bisexual of you agent jareau#jemily#jennifer jareau#jj#criminal minds#cm
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he said, “i’m not the man that you think i am.”
“that’s alright,” you replied, voice measured despite its quiet rumble. “let me love you, anyway.”
he noticed the way your fingers twitched by your sides—an aborted need to pull him close—and he wondered: where do you find the fortitude to be gentle with him?
did you know how he felt at that moment? did you know what he felt when he cut himself open and was honest with the ugliness that muddles his heart, expecting your rejection, only to be met with your kindness as vast as the seas? did you know what you have done?
you fed a starving dog.
you stuffed him with tenderness until his fangs have dulled. you showed him a collar and asked if it was okay to leash him.
of course. claim me. please. i’m yours.
he stepped up into your space. “i won’t let you go.”
you said, “please. all that i am is yours.”
(you were just as starving.)
#‘‘i’m not a violent dog; i dont know why i bite’’ THIS IS YOUR FAULT#take mitski away from me because i will not survive and i will make sure to pull you all into my descent#suns#yk who fits this? tf141#task force 141 x reader#simon ghost riley x reader
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characters who are oriented towards survival and self-preservation often look to other characters who are in more stable positions socially (and are similarly interpreted by some readers) as being exclusively self-interested. which is, i suppose, not a completely inaccurate interpretation. prioritizing one's survival is a type of self-interest. but it is self-interest that comes from a place of not wanting to, you know. die.
#jin guangyao#all roads lead back to jin guangyao. in my heart.#he did crimes??? good for him 😌#i just truly feel that this is so often forgotten when people think and write about jin guangyao: his life is constantly at risk#'well it's his own fault' not really? not if you actually track the trajectory of the majority of his choices?#there are two choices he makes that are objectively not about his survival#burning down the brothel and murdering his father#(just like wei wuxian he is inclined towards making bad decisions when pushed to a psychological breaking point)#(unlike wei wuxian he is not wearing plot armour or a protagonist halo)
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I'm not ready to shut up about Aveline and Carver--so, when you go see Aveline in Act 1, you can catch up with her a little bit and that's where this conversation can happen:
Aveline: "It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you, Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar?" Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.
I wanted to see what she would say if Carver isn't in the party. Instead, she says this:
Aveline: Carver was there. I imagine he feels something similar. If he allows it.
......well, at least she didn't call him a tit?
#dragon age 2#da2#carver hawke#aveline vallen#she's slightly nicer to him when he's not there but she's still like 'maybe he feels something similar but probably pretends not to'#like i'm not gonna pretend that carver doesn't bottle any feelings--he doesn't openly talk about bethany a lot for a reason#but to suggest he pretends to be unfeeling about things like ostagar is incorrect like he CLEARLY feels a lot about it#because he associates the battle at ostagar with losing his home and sister to the darkspawn#after playing as a warrior hawke who is best friends with aveline i do have a little more insight into why she might think this about carve#when hawke is a warrior they were at ostagar. they share that traumatic experience with aveline and if they're friends#they discuss it in a way that i think aveline *wants* y'know? but with carver he doesn't respond the way she wants him to#so she gets frustrated since even if she tried to talk to hawke about it... hawke wasn't there. hawke doesnt KNOW what ostagar#was like but carver does... but it's like aveline is ready to assume the worst of carver a lot of the time?#like 'carver doesn't talk about it because he's a tit who pretends not to feel' is the vibe i get from this but aveline...#that's like calling you a tit because you don't want to openly discuss all your feelings about your dead husband#listen aveline and carver are so similar but they have such key differences like they both survived the horror of ostagar#and lost a loved one to darkspawn while fleeing lothering AND they both blame hawke for it to a degree#even though they both know that's not right and that it wasn't really hawke's fault#they're both stubborn warriors with daddy issues looking to find their place#and when it comes to flirting? well i don't think carver's as bad as aveline#but i played MotA i know all about 'you could tame its wild heart'#but the key differences come in how they the end the game y'know? especially if carver's on the friendship path as a warden#i still haven't made him a templar but something tells me he ends up more on the same road as aveline#vs when he's a grey warden and able to be away from kirkwall and find a place on his own#y'all i could write a whole essay on aveline and carver but i paused my game to write this so i should go back to that sksksk
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I am a certified Gladstone Gander fan and defender and I, wholeheartedly, approve this message.
#my boy is very stupid but it's not this fault#never developed survival skills#gladstone gander#duckverse#I kikda wanna talk more about this comic because I've liek it had gone to a different direction#but it was cute and sweet
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I need them to sit on a beach together and Owen falls asleep and Curt buries him in the sand and just leaves him there to suffocate and then forgets where he buried him, so Owen is buried under sand for an hour as Curt desperately tries to dig him up
#spies are forever#tin can bros#tin can brothers#owen carvour#agent curt mega#curtwen#this happened with my sister once#poor girl#can't believe she survived#(it's my fault tho i buried her)#my dad let me though so really it's his fault
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Rewatched that amazing scene where Dazai and Kunikida lock eyes with each other and then dash to opposite sides across the room . GOD I love them GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!! I wish there were seasons of them solving mysteries together
ARENT THEY JUST SO
#kunikidazai#kunikida doppo#dazai osamu#ahli spams bsd#that is if Kunikida survives those recent manga chapters#spoilers#I will always be salty about Dazai’s intelligence power creep#yes it does make fyodor x Dazai a very good ship but it also kind of takes away from these old scenes#the tension the drama the unpredicatability of these old scenes feel lessened to me with the understanding that he’s so smart that he#guess numbers in people’s minds and control his own heart beat like#okay#okay….#you know what I while we’re at it nerf FYODOR’s intelligence too#memorized every scratch on the card my ass omg#and if Asagiri wants to play like that tell me why the guy with photographic memory couldn’t notice color contacts AHHH#I truly do think one of the only truly clever things fyodor did was trick ace into dying#not a fault of the characters.. it’s a fault of the writing#I am bsds no 1 narriative hater and bsds no 1 character lover
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omg jonathan wheatley please don’t leave wtf nooooooooooooo
#christian whyyyyy#this is all his fault#why are you doing this to me#stop ruining my team omg#maxcedes is becoming more and more real everyday someone sedate me#i can hear toto’s evil laugh from here#goodbye goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky#MAX#YOU MUST SURVIVE THIS#WINNNN#WIN FOREVER#formula 1#f1#max verstappen#red bull racing#jonathan wheatley
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KILL!!!!!!!!!
#my post#this is so mean. why did i make this#but also....... the gun is in your hands now#i'll admit that it's my fault for putting the gun in your hand... however i've no say in what you choose to do with it#will you pull the trigger and accept whatever happens from now on? will you give yourself into the role forced upon you?#no one will know anything if you don't say anything. there will be no consequences or repercussions to this choice#but you will know. and you will need to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life#a gun not fired is like an itch not stratched#in the end i have no control over what you do... but free will is a funny thing#the brain is very susceptible to suggestion... everything we see and experience will remain with us in some way#if that's the case then how much control do we really have in our lives? how do we separate what we really want vs what we're told to want?#things like hunger... desire... they're all things the body asks for. but are they things that we truly want?#or are they merely a mechanism built into us for the sake of survival?#everything blends into everything. your past actions will inform your current actions. you're the only one who's ever lived your life#you're the only one who will ever live your life#little variables and experiences we all share... but the order varies greatly from person to person. everything is just a series of events#the way i see the world is different than the way you see it regardless of how similar they are#what choice will you make now? and how does it differ from the choice you would've made a week ago? a month? a year? does it differ at all?#does free will truly exist? i think it does... but not in the way most people think it exists#you and i... we might differ on that thought. or we might not.#regardless of whatever i've been rambling about right now... refusing to make a choice is still a choice you make. life is ironic like that#does one of them really have to go? that's for you to decide now#i've merely chosen to put the gun in your hand. to make you aware of the possibilities#so i hope you realize what power your choices have#dca fandom#daycare attendant#yeah sometimes i just say things that i think are deep but they're really not#i hope the choices i make have an effect on others. even if it's just one person...#if i can make even just one person think about something they wouldn't have normally thought about then isn't that a win?#life is a series of choices... ''it'd be great if you could see a figure of light by the time you die'' ♡
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You know I’m here to listen to you ramble about every AU ily give us the pacific rim NGE 🤲🏽
- @yuutito
aleks beloved, thank you for always enabling my rambling 💞 this is the kinda ask where i wish i could draw because there are such vivid images of what each jaeger/mech would look like to me but for now consider the following in the yuuta verse:
hiromi and kento used to be co-pilots on the same jaeger, and despite having average drift compatibility, they had a near perfect streak. there were theories that judgeman would be even more successful with a single pilot, and ultimately hiromi was the better fit, which works out in the end because it turns out kento and satoru are a near perfect match in terms of compatibility, holding the record for a co-pilot duo. kenjaku is a much less predictable jaeger, but satoru and kento are the only pair to co-pilot it and survive.
the zenin family has snuck their way into jaeger mechanics and government control of them. they almost exclusively build and fund mechs for their own family members, and have their own training program they put their pilots through to ensure that they are the only ones able to pilot the robots. other big families and government sectors don’t like this, but the zenins fund so many refuge relief and engineering programs, that nobody can say anything.
the only good thing is because they tailor the mechs to their pilots, the drift compatibility of the co-pilots matters much less.
toji is the first person in history to solo pilot a jaeger, and proves that solo piloting is possible, but only in extremely rare cases. he piloted alongside megumi for a while until playful cloud was put out of commission and toji retired to focus on stealing the zenin’s training regiment and teaching it to other pilots in training. megumi’s co-pilot is now yuuji, and sukuna was a jaeger was sponsored by the gojo family (which the zenin’s are still mad about)
the zenin’s wormed their way into the financial and political side of things, but the gojo family is famous for their pilots and engineers. satoru’s mother and father were hailed as one of the greatest pilot duos, and even though they never wanted satoru to become a pilot, their deaths inspired him to take his training seriously. his cousins and aunts and uncles are a mix of co-pilots and engineers. it’s expected that yuuta become one or the other, but after rika’s death, he decides on the pilot route. it seems to be the fate of the gojo’s that the death of a loved one leads the path to pilot training.
rika’s parents were scouted by the gojo family and the government to help build mechs. they packed up everything to move to sendai and begin their research and construction. rika was that little kid running around the hangar and yuuta was much less enthusiastic and much more scared one tailing behind her. even though her parents were brilliant engineers, rika always loudly proclaimed her dreams of becoming a pilot. when she dies, her parents memorialize her dreams by designing and naming a jaeger after her, and they only think its right that yuuta be its pilot.
yuuta and rika have always been a special pair, and so even though their actions concerning you are far from normal, it’s not a surprise either. yuuta was asked to be rika’s pilot, but he also did it because he thought it was the right thing to do. but now, as yuuta watches you recover after he/rika saved you after an attack, he knows that wanting you is the wrong thing—but if he found you through piloting, if he found you through rika, how wrong could that be? how bad could a pilot really be—they’re the heroes after all, right?
anyways enough about yuuta’s pacrim au, time to talk about other ones teehee
there’s a pink wolf in your dreams and it always saves you from whatever impending doom is heading your way: a pack of hungry coyotes, the unstable ledge of a cliff, a group of angry huntsmen with arrows and pitchforks. it’s been this way every since your last co-pilot died in battle, while you were still connected to him. you try to make sense of it, try to find comfort in the savior of your dreams, but the natural human response is to scream and shout and wake up in cold sweat when face to face with a wild animal in your face. so, the instinct kicks in when you tiredly roll into the sparring room and the newest recruit has a head of pink hair and scar over his left eye that mirrors the one of the wolf in your dreams, is to run away as fast as you can. it’s futile though, because itadori yuuji is more than the wolf in your dreams and your destined co-pilot, he’s your soulmate.
in a sort of post-war world, you and kento are very comfortable in your retirement. you have the respect of the entire world, support from every government, enough money to last multiple life times. the jaeger program is kept in effect, but at a much smaller scale due to the reduced likelihood of an attack; so, when the radar picks up the possibility of another attack years after the last one, kento isn’t happy to hear you’ve volunteered yourself for the war efforts. there are new recruits, younger recruits, even other experienced recruits who never fully retired—he doesn’t understand why it has to be you. he just got happy with his life with you. it turns into a whole argument, and ends with you leaving for your old base by yourself. your old jaeger has long since been retired, and you feel nervous stepping into the cockpit of a new mech after all these years, but much of it dissipates when you step in to find kento already suited up and waiting for you, because there’s no way he’d let you go out to war without him by your side.
it’s a poorly kept secret that you and megumi are soulmates. with an almost perfect drift compatibility and a lifetime of friendship to solidify your coordination and teamwork, the only mystery is why you two refuse to actually date each other. your argument is that there’d be no privacy or true intimacy in that relationship—you and megumi are already, always, physically in each other’s minds; dating wouldn’t leave room for anything more. megumi’s argument is that he’s simply waiting for you to realize that you’ve been in his head long before your first drift sequence. when people aren’t wondering about the status of your relationship, they often take note about how even though you and megumi are co-pilots, you resemble pilot and mech more often than not: you have the controls and megumi seems to carry out your every command.
#answered#aleks#me with another megumi f2l situation omg i know breaking news! huge shocker!#WHATEVER! its not my fault he's a fake idgafer and a hopeless loser#sigh... to have famous solo pilot yuuta okkotsu by your bedside as you recover#slowly stroking your forehead and calling you his little angel because of how miraculous it was that you survived and came back to him....#gnaws on steel#oh speaking of steel is too soon to mention yuuta welding an engagement ring out of spare mech parts.........#pacrim au
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People are still hating on Izuku because he couldn't save Shigaraki huh? Like again how was Izuku suppose save him? What could a teenage boy possibly have done to save a manic villain?
#shut it ash#shigaraki was a villain don't forget#like yes deserved kindess and compassion and i think how he died sucks#but even after afo was expelled from his body he was still firm with his beliefs#and had he actually survived he was gonna end up in jail regardless of the outcome#izuku is holding a heavy burden as is#it's not his fault that shigaraki turned out they why he did#and despite the circumstances of izuku tired to do the quest of saving shigaraki just wasn't meant to be#bnha 427#bnha spoilers#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#izuku midoriya#tomura shiragaki
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genuinely can't imagine how kevin even got through his first few months at psu
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#kevin day#the foxhole court#all for the game#he grew up captive in a cult that operated in darkness toxicity and 16 hr days#there was unimaginable pressure on him since he was a child and by the time he was 19 he was playing on 4 teams#and then he watched riko undo it all in a heartbeat. and you can't tell me there weren't some feelings of betrayal#because there were lines riko wasn't supposed to cross. they were supposed to be in this together to an extent#and imagine being kevin in that moment. knowing you won't survive if you stay but they might kill you if you leave#and then having to get used to a completely different lifestyle when you barely had an idea of the outside world before#honestly. i think it would've made sense if he was even more terrified and anxious and rude and caustic through the books#of course the people around him can't know the full extent of it all so i can't fault their attitude either#but come on??? it's insane. i can't even wrap my head around it
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Baby Reindeer on Netflix is the best depiction I’ve seen of healing through sexual trauma I’ve seen in a piece of media. It’s really uncomfortable but so realistic I feel like I’m not crazy
#hard haaard watch as someone whos been SAed multiple times but it made me feel idk like my experiences arent my fault and that its smthg#i can survive#obviously check the tws for the show it does deal w stalking abuse SA and exploring sexuality#baby reindeer
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i just spent so much money at the store i almost threw up when the cashier told me my total 😭
#i had the money in my hand n then he told me my total n i had to take out more money. worst feeling ever#n they’re groceries so it’s stuff i actually need but i was looking at my water bottles like damn do i actually need u 🤨#whoever decided that we have to pay for water is fucked up like how is it my fault i need it to survive kys#i was going to go buy some tacos after this but now i’m not so sure i want to😭#i’m having dry cereal n water for dinner#ya k vergas😭#.txt
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