#i suppose you can think of him like fez from that 70's show

[ppg-villains-defense-lawyer]

What is Grubber’s full name in you headcanon (I know the Ace, Snake, and Billy’s full names in your headcanon are Ace Dean Copular, Sanford Dickens Ingleberry, and William William Williams, and the show had Arturo’s full name, which was Arturo de la Guerra)?

Yes, Arturo's full name in canon, and in my headcanon, is Arturo de la Guerra.

So basically, my headcanon for Grubber's name is that his real name is something entirely incomprehensible, probably super long and maybe in a different language altogether, and Grubber is the nickname he goes by for convenience.

So, I guess he doesn't have a specific name in my head, because I feel like anything I could come up with wouldn't be strange enough to suit him. Plus, keeping it vague kinda suits his "weird and mysterious" vibe.

[pain-somnia]

All Our Yesterdays [ch.1]

Fandom: That ‘70s Show Pairing(s): Jackie/Hyde, Buddy/Fez, Donna/Eric Rating: M Disclaimer: This story will utilize characters and situations that are the copyright of The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC . tomaday is in no way associated with the creator or producers of That '70s Show and no copyright infringement is intended. Obviously this is a fanfic meant solely for the entertainment of the fanfic author and (hopefully) it’s readers. Summary: After the events of "Street Fighting Man", Jackie and Hyde wish more than anything that things had happened differently.The next morning, they wake up in the past, on the morning of Vanstock where Jackie promptly makes one dream come true. They are not together—but, soon enough, one change snowballs into another... Day’s Notes: the notes for this fic are too large for for a tumblr post. they can be found in the links for FanFic and AO3. I hope you enjoy :) FF | AO3

chapter one: a sharp left in a different direction

Something was off. Completely and totally off.

Usually after a night of crying Jackie woke up with a headache. She couldn’t complain that she woke up nice and breezy, body relaxed as if nothing had ever happened. As if she didn’t cry more tears over a boy that called their future “crap.”

The sooner the pain hurt less, the easier everything would be. The easier it would be to compartmentalize her feelings for Steven Hyde and put them in a box inside of herself to be hidden just like her “Steven Box” was hidden in her closet.

Stretching her arms up over her head, Jackie froze and stared at her bare arm. Last night she had put on her favorite comfy flannel pajamas, the perfect set for when she wanted to feel warm and safe. Certain outfits were just as practical as they were cute.

But she hadn’t woken up wearing her cute flannel pajamas that were perfect for winter nights.

Why am I in my nightgown? Jackie sat up and examined her torso. Wait! Where are my—?

Jackie screamed in frustration as she clutched at her breasts—or the lack of them. She was small with slight curves, but they were perfect! Perfectly shaped and round not these small barely formed lumps she hadn’t had since she was fifteen.

For the second time since she woke up she froze. Taking a deep breath she turned to slide out of bed and put on her fuzzy slippers. She stared at her feet, eyeing the old slippers she used when she was a sophomore before they had to be replaced.

“What the hell is going on?” Jackie huffed as she examined her nightstand. Why would she have a photograph of Michael Kelso by her bed? Just last night she had gone to bed with a couple shot of her and Steven face down as it had been since she had broken up with him weeks prior.

She clutched at her hair, tightening her fingers around the curly locks. Her chest rose and fell rapidly with her breaths but it didn’t feel like she was taking in any oxygen. The pull on her roots hurt too much for her to still be sleeping. Squeezing her eyes shut, she mouthed a prayer to herself. She would open her eyes and everything would be back in its rightful place. It just had to be so.

Opening her eyes to the sight of her old purple suitcase with its matching traveling makeup case sitting by her bedroom door, Jackie screamed again.

She hadn’t seen that case since her sophomore year. The luggage set she used now was decidedly more adult—a lovely shade of carmine that was just right for her eighteen year old self.

I swear to God if my wardrobe isn’t up to date, heads are going to roll.

Jackie stomped to her closet and pushed through all of the cute clothes hanging in the proper color and seasonal order it was supposed to be in. The only problem was that most of her clothes, while super cute, were out of season for 1979. Most of them were trendy back in 1976 when she had first bought them.

Wrapping her arms around herself, Jackie clutched her elbows and slid down her closet door. She didn’t even want to check the rest of her room. She didn’t need to look at her records to find out that the ones given to her by Steven were gone. She was sure if she dug through her closet she wouldn’t find a shoe box decorated and dedicated to hiding all of his notes and the ticket stubs from their dates and other keepsakes.

Lightly knocking her head back against her closet door repeatedly, Jackie let out an expletive worthy of Red Forman.

What was she going to do?

. .

The first person Jackie wanted to see was Steven. It angered her a little that no matter what he was the one her body, her mind, her soul would seek out. Just yesterday she had been crying her eyes out behind a pillar in public over him and yet now she was ready to run right to him.

Fate had it that the first person she did end up seeing was Fez of all people. As good of a friend as he was, she wasn’t as close to him as she was to Steven or Donna. He wouldn’t have been her first choice for comfort in a situation like this. Maybe if her hot rollers weren’t working properly, but not for finding out that she had slipped into some sort of crazy time rift and was now back in her fifteen year old body.

Great. And now she was sounding like dorky Eric, letting herself think about stuff like time travel.

Fez had come to walk with her to the Forman residence and to tote her luggage. Luckily for her, Fez wasn’t observant enough to recognize that her brain fog had anything to do with the fact that she wasn’t the Jackie he knew.

As if he would even know a thing about time travel or recognize it in a person.

He had fumbled through his explanation for why he was at her door, reminding her that she had called him the night before to help carry her stuff because she couldn’t have Michael picking her up or it would ruin her surprise.

Ugh. Jackie wrinkled her nose in disgust. Why couldn’t I have been sent to a time before I ever let Michael sleep with me?

Vanstock. Her first experience attending wouldn’t have been so awful had it not turned out that whorey Laurie had been sleeping with her first boyfriend while she had been dating him. It had tainted the memory of her good time.

Jackie had thought that the two of them could be really good friends considering they liked all of the same things. It was almost like having the missing half of what she wished Donna was like. All of the girly attributes that Donna just didn’t understand why they were so important.

The gang had all gone again the previous year in her original timeline and that was much better. But then again, she had spent the weekend with Steven and they had snuggled in his double sleeping bag. She had almost forgotten that they were sleeping on the ground.

Almost.

And with the reminder of Steven and their time together came the deep ache in her chest that was always present since she had broken up with him after the LOPP’s Christmas party. God, she missed him—missed them.

That was the one positive of the time travel. Yes it hurt, but her feelings for Steven were still there with her and her thoughts were her own despite being back in her underdeveloped fifteen year old body.

She wasn’t going to get over that. Applying her makeup on that morning had been frustrating each time she had to look at her rounder cheeks, still full of baby fat.

It’s a good thing I’m super cute no matter how old. Jackie turned her nose up at her own wandering thoughts. It was hard to focus on what was important when she couldn’t find the source of her problem.

At the moment all she could do was compartmentalize everything and create some order by what was a priority and by what she could actually fix within her own power.

Just because she was her fifteen year old self, it didn’t mean she had to live her fifteen year old self’s life. She was Jackie Burkhart and she got what she wanted when she wanted. And what she wanted was to not be that girl she was when she was sixteen.

It was a few weeks too soon but there was one matter she could take into her own hands right that moment. She just wished she had made her decision before Fez had carried her stuff all the way to the Formans’ house. Now she was going to be stuck taking it all back herself.

Going to Vanstock had seemed like a good idea when she had been faced with choosing between being with her friends or alone with her thoughts in an empty house. The housekeeper had been given the weekend off when her fifteen year old self had made the decision to surprise Michael with her attendance on the group’s road trip and she wasn’t in the right state of mind to be by herself.

“Jackie!” Donna was the first person to greet her when she walked up the Forman’s driveway. Her hair was totally flat and that god awful red but her cheeks still bloomed like she had a sunburn when she was flustered.

Jackie had to resist wrapping her arms around her best friend. She wanted nothing more than a hug and for someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay but this wasn’t the moment, especially when she knew what was making Donna so nervous.

She barely registered the mentions of mud and Canadians. Jackie’s gaze drifted from Donna to her future ex-boyfriend who stood in the back in his worn out denim jacket. She had to remind herself that this was Hyde not Steven. That while he was complicit in letting her heart get broken, this wasn’t the man that owed her any loyalty. It was just the boy that got his kicks where he could and didn’t recognize that what he was doing was terrible.

This was also the boy that would get his heart broken again in a few months and Jackie bit her lower lip to keep from shouting about everything she knew. This Steven Hyde wasn’t hers to protect like when he first met his real father.

And if she shared those secrets there were worse things that could happen to her than waking up almost a full bra cup size and a half smaller.

“Where’s Michael?” Jackie asked before anyone else could fumble some sort of weak reason as to why she shouldn’t go with them to Vanstock. Any moment now Steven was going to try to convince her that it was a fantastic idea regardless of the fact that Michael was bringing along the girl he was having an affair with.

“Jackie.” Steven stared her down, expression more solemn than she recalled him looking at sixteen. Last time when they stood in this driveway, he had been gleeful, downright giddy. “I need to talk to you about something.”

She wasn’t ready for this, whatever this was. His hair was longer and blonder, he wasn’t as muscular, but his voice was still the same deep timbre she loved and even though it should have been easy to separate this Steven from her Steven, she couldn’t do it. Jackie was convinced one look, one direct look, into her eyes and he would know everything.

Steven Hyde of 1976 would know she loved him.

“Can it wait?” Jackie’s gaze shifted anywhere but his face. “I really need to talk to Michael before you guys go.”

“Wait,” Eric looked back and forth between his best friend and her, “you’re not coming with us then? And why do you need to talk to Jackie?”

Jackie really didn’t need this right now. Eric Forman could hate her some other time but he wasn’t going to be wasting her time with his questions. “Makes no sense why I would be going.” Jackie crossed her arms across her chest protectively. “Doubt he’d let me come along after I dump him.”

“What?” Came everyone’s shocked response. . . Hyde leaned his head back and closed his eyes, propping his feet on the spool table. They should have been on the road over an hour ago. He should have been roaming the grounds and meeting up with his friends from Kenosha, dropping acid or smoking a joint in between the different musical acts performing.

The last time he had been there in 1976, that was exactly what he had done as well as hooking up with any willing hot chick. The desire for acid or a girl had significantly dropped since then, both for different reasons.

Opening his eyes, Hyde watched the smoke float in lazy circles up towards the ceiling. The swirls had his focus more than the conversation currently being had in the basement.

“You were just frenching Laurie not even ten minutes before she broke up with you, dillhole!” Donna huffed, passing the joint on to Forman.

That comment had Hyde peering at Donna from the corner of his eye. When she had discovered that Kelso had been cheating on Jackie back in his own 1976, she hadn’t warned Jackie at all. She still hadn’t warned her this time around, only weakly attempted to get her to change her mind about going on the trip. Not that Jackie needed to change her mind. She had shown up and broke up with Kelso in the simplest most blunt way possible.

“I don’t love you and you’re a cheating bastard. Have fun at Vanstock.” And then she just skipped away.

 The divergence in the timeline was going to be interesting.

Waking up had been a trip. Hyde had woken up thinking he had been tripping. It had been so long since he kept his hair long enough to be as blonde as it was and he felt lighter than usual━his limbs no longer carrying the extra weight of the muscles he had developed over the past couple of years.

Time travel. It was a subject that only Forman out of everyone he could possibly have a serious discussion with. Kelso at this stage wouldn’t even try to jump into the conversation unless it was about a time machine that could take him back in time before Jackie broke up with him.

“Shouldn’t we be glad that we’re finally free?” Forman shrugged his shoulders passing him the joint. Hyde didn’t honor him with a response, only taking a long drag before skipping right over Kelso to Fez.

Kelso didn’t even notice that he had been skipped in the circle. His head hung low and his eyes were glazed over with unshed tears. Hyde cared for them just as much as he did the first time Jackie had broken up with Kelso━not at all.

Tears from his friend over a girl that he himself loved meant nothing.

Kelso crying over Jackie was a joke. It was a joke back when all she was was the bitchy anchor around Kelso’s neck. It was a joke when he got caught cheating with Laurie.

“We were in love,” Kelso choked out, voice thick and watery from crying.

“Kelso.” Hyde snapped his fingers in front of Kelso’s face and tried to capture his attention. “No you weren’t. You were cheating on her with the Earth Mother Whore.”

Kelso blinked at him and swallowed hard. “Doesn’t mean I don’t love Jackie.”

Rolling his eyes, Hyde took the joint back from Donna and took the last drag from the remaining stub. He coughed as the burnt smoke hit his lungs and pinched the dying ember on the paper between his index finger and thumb. The high from the marijuana wasn’t enough for Hyde to tolerate listening to Kelso talk about being in love with his chick.

Ex chick. Future ex chick.

Time travel was such a fucked concept. It was one thing to hide a hurt that he had reasons for having, but the hurt he felt wasn’t for the Jackie of 1976 but the Jackie of 1979. He was hiding a deep ache in his chest that was caused by a girl that had probably been crying over his moron friend the night before, not him.

Miles away there was a shrill, loud, bitchy cheerleader who was probably stuffing all of her Kelso paraphernalia into a box right at that moment and it was killing him that he couldn’t have her. And because of this time travel bullshit she didn’t even know that she had ever been his and he had been hers.

“I can’t believe we’re missing Vanstock all because of Jackie,” Forman scoffed. “Leave it to her to ruin everything.”

“Forman,” Hyde turned to him in disgust, “really? Are you forgetting certain important details?”

“I still can’t believe you all knew!” Donna slapped her hands on the spool table. She glared at them all and then stood up from her seat. “I’m going to go see Jackie.”

“Wait!” Fez called after her. “I’ll go with you!”

Hyde reached over and pulled Fez by the back of his shirt, forcing him back on the mushroom ottoman. “Sit down!” Like hell was he going to let an infatuated Fez try and take advantage of the situation again.

Fez wrinkled his nose and gave him a disgruntled look before shrugging it off. “So what happened with Laurie?”

Hyde rolled his eyes yet again. Right after Jackie had confronted Kelso, Laurie had taken off when it was obvious they weren’t going anywhere. She had looked downright gleeful when they all had dragged their stuff back inside, looking miserable. She took one look at a sad Kelso and shrugged it off. No one knew where she went after everything went down, but Laurie made herself scarce as soon as it was clear that no one was going anywhere.

Kelso was a dumbass, but the consequences for his actions lead to Hyde finding out that there was more to Jackie than they all originally thought. There was just one very important difference in this timeline.

Jackie wasn’t heartbroken over her split with Kelso. In 1976, Jackie had told Kelso it was over, tears thickening her voice, and then threw herself at Hyde for comfort. This time, Jackie tossed out the break up statement casually with the same attitude she would give a shoe department employee her size on whatever clogs took her fancy and then went on her merry way.

Hyde didn’t know what to make of that. As annoyed as he had been when he was last sixteen years old, Kelso and Jackie’s first real break up was the catalyst to his and Jackie’s relationship changing.

This was his punishment at last from the government. Kelso threatened the president and once they all were lulled into a false sense of security, Hyde was shifted to a different time and was forced to relive his teen years in a simulation that altered the events of his life out of his favor.

Out of his favor? Shouldn’t this be what he wanted? Hyde was back in a time that he and Jackie could just hang out without any of the complications of dating.

But life was a bitch because that’s not how it worked.

His body was closer to seventeen than twenty but his memories were still there. He could still remember the way Jackie felt under his fingertips, how she breathed into him when he laid kisses onto her inviting mouth...and how she looked with eyes full of tears from a broken heart.

Couldn’t rat out a friend? Hyde inwardly scoffed. Maybe his sixteen year old self had a point, but nineteen year old him had more loyalty to the tiny loud girl than his doofus friend.

Government simulation or not, he wasn’t going to let Jackie go through all of that bullshit again. Hyde had planned on warning Jackie before she surprised him and took things into her own hands.

“You could have just—and I’ll say this yet again,” Forman flattened his palms together and pressed his fingers to his mouth before shouting, “not make out with my sister!”

“No,” Kelso’s expression became serious as he turned his attention towards Eric, “I couldn’t, Eric.”

“You know what?” Eric threw his hands up and flailed them in exasperation. “I don’t even care anymore that you ruined Vanstock. What am I going to tell Donna? She’s going to ask me if I knew the whole time.”

Hyde rolled his eyes behind his aviators. He already knew how that turned out last time when Donna had stormed off, upset. “As entertaining as it would be to see you fuck this up further, Forman—just tell her the truth.”

“How is that not going to screw me over?” Forman gestured wildly again. “She’s going to know that I’ve been keeping this from her.”

“Because if you lie it will end up biting you in the ass later.”

“Hyde is right, Eric.” Fez nodded in agreement. “Just take a look at Kelso. It’s biting him in the ass right now.”

“And you already lied earlier when you tried to get me to cover for you about Don Juan El Tardo and The Village Whore.”

“No!” Kelso jabbed his finger at Hyde’s direction and then Forman’s. “Eric, you can’t tell Donna. She’ll tell Jackie how long it’s been going on and then I won’t be able to get her back.”

The other three boys stared at Kelso like he had grown a second head. Fez was the first one to fling something at him, tossing as many magazines and comic books he could reach. Forman was irritated by the events of the day and needed an outlet. Hyde already knew how Kelso was, wasn’t surprised by his statement but it didn’t stop from irritating him and the anger boiled deep in his gut.

“I’m out of here.”

He was done with this crap for the day. It finally hit where the punishment was. Hyde was going to have to witness Kelso jerking Jackie around all over again━only this time, he was going to have to pay the price for feeling more than he wanted to for her.

This crap ain’t happening again. He slammed the door shut for his bedroom and flopped on his cot. This is why he didn’t do love. Fuck the U.S. government. . . In a way, Jackie was grateful for the place in time she had been sent back to. She wouldn’t have to deal with anymore of Michael’s crap and she had less stuff of his to throw away.

“He really gave you a slinky for an anniversary?” Donna sat cross legged on Jackie’s bed, tossing it back and forth between her hands. “Kind of makes me appreciate Eric more.”

“Yeah, Michael’s a moron.” Jackie slipped the photo of Michael out from the frame on her bed and wrinkled her nose in thought. “You think Fez would want this?”

Donna’s face scrunched up in confusion and she shrugged. Jackie shrugged back and tossed it into the trash can by her desk. She wasn’t exactly sure when Fez became a little obsessed with her ex-boyfriend, but maybe this was before then if Donna didn’t understand the question.

“I’m really sorry about the Laurie thing,” Donna apologized for the second time since she had arrived at the Burkhart mansion. “I just found out before you showed up and was asking Eric about it.”

Jackie kept her gaze on the box of stuff she had collected from her year of dating Michael. She bit her lip to keep from smiling or making a comment, but she couldn’t help the warmth that spread in her chest.

Despite her friendship with the Donna of 1979, it sometimes felt like Donna sided with the boys over Jackie most of the time when they were younger. They had their moments though and Donna was like a less attractive, goofy older sister. It felt kind of nice to have her right now even if they weren’t as close as they would be some day.

“I wanted to tell you but once I saw you I blanked out a bit because...well,” Donna shrugged, hiking her shoulders up to her ears, “you’re kind of my friend and I didn’t want you to get hurt and for me to be the messenger that caused it.”

“Well, I deserved to know.” Jackie finally turned her gaze back to Donna and smiled slyly. “But you could always do something for me to make me feel better.”

Donna rolled her eyes in exasperation but she playfully shoved at Jackie’s shoulder. “Alright midget, what are you scheming at? And no, I’m not dumping Eric in solidarity or throwing out my clothes.”

“As great as those two options would totally be, that’s actually not what I was going to ask.”

Donna sat up straighter, her curiosity obvious. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion but nodded for Jackie to continue.

“I really meant what I said about not loving Michael and—“

“Jackie, you just told him you loved him three days ago.”

“Shh! Let me talk you big goon,” Jackie snapped. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. “Ignore that, that was the past and I’ve learned some stuff about myself, okay?”

“Okay. So what about not loving Kelso?”

“I don’t want him to bother me. I know he’s your friend and he’s been your friend longer than I have but can you be on my side about this? I really am over Michael Kelso and never want to be with him again.”

Donna stared impassively at her for a moment before nodding in understanding. “I’m guessing this means you’re asking me to run interference in case he tries to get you back like he did after the Pam Macy incident...incidents?”

Jackie nodded enthusiastically. “That’s exactly it. Look,” Jackie turned her whole body and sat cross legged on her bed, “Michael isn’t just cheating on me with Laurie but also some tramp from Sacred Heart and really that’s just what I know about.”

In reality, Jackie knew a lot more now thanks to Steven tricking Michael to reveal everything he had ever hidden from her.

“I know he’s a cheater but you don’t seem as upset as I expected you to be.” Donna raised a brow in confusion. “Like you sound a little angry but mostly resigned. I expected waterworks. Didn’t think you could get over stuff like this unless you found someone else.” Donna slapped her hands on the bed on either side of her hips. “Oh my god, Jackie! You already like someone else!”

“No,” Jackie lied, shaking her head and dragging out the vowel in the negation. Damn Donna always nailing it right on the head. 1976 Jackie didn’t love Steven and it would be weird if she suddenly had feelings for him. “I just realized that what hurts is my pride, not my heart. So, I don’t really love Michael.”

As much as the cheating hurt back in 1976, Jackie had recently felt pain that made the Michael cheating stuff feel like a mosquito bite in comparison.

She didn’t know when the timeline would spit her back to where she belonged, but the one thing she did know was that she wasn’t going to be spending her time in the past letting a boy she didn’t love touch her. And Jackie of 1976 might not know it yet, but she deserved better than to be with that doofus.

She found better. And she lost better.

Jackie blinked her eyes but the tears welling up in her eyes threatened to roll down her cheeks. She couldn’t be sad about that. Steven wasn’t her boyfriend in 1979 and he wasn’t her boyfriend in 1976. It didn’t matter how much she wanted him to be. 1979 Steven didn’t see a future with her and 1976 Steven didn’t see her at all—at least not as anything other than an annoyance.

Her parents were never around, she just broke up with the cheating boyfriend she didn’t even want, Steven wasn’t her friend yet, dorky Eric wasn’t really an option, and Fez was way too into her to be a real friend. The only thing she really had was her tentative friendship with Donna.

How did Donna end up being her lifeline?

“Could we still hang out?” Jackie sniffed. “I know I’m not with Michael anymore and well I’m not really part of the group…but I think of you as my friend too. My best friend. Despite the fact that you’re a lumberjack and all.”

Jackie was about to tell Donna that her eyes would get stuck if she kept rolling her eyes but was cut off by the feel of a slightly calloused hand taking hers into its grip. Donna offered her a small smile and nodded.

“Of course, midget.”

1976 and going into 1977 was going to be a rough school year for Donna. Donna invited her to live with her when she didn’t have a home and would in the future of this timeline. The least Jackie could do is save her lumberjack heart some heartbreak. Especially ones she may have had a hand in—there would be no Casey Kelso this time around.

Squeezing Donna’s hand, Jackie smiled to herself. It was only a day and she already had more than 1976 Jackie had. She had no idea why she was there or how but she did know one thing:

She needed to make a list.

[sandalaris]

ooooh how about jackie and hyde for the parent ask! :)

Future parents Jackie and Hyde! (Full disclosure, I’ve not seen every episode of That 70′s Show, but I’ve seen most.)

who panics over everything? Hyde has silent freak outs that are more vague in nature, but encompasses the entirety of “everything.” But on the surface it definitely seems like Jackie is the one with the most panicked moments. The fact that she can’t hire a nanny is an added stress for her. Not because she doesn’t want to deal with her kids, but nannies are experts and she wants the absolute best for her children. It takes a comment from a friend for her to suddenly realize she has what might just be something even better, the Formans. Red and Kitty don’t mind, it’s nice to have the house full of little ones again (that aren’t theirs).

who lives on google and webmd to look up everything the baby does? Eric actually starts it (assuming a time bumb for canon here) when their first born gets whooping cough. Jackie had the frazzled mom part going on but for the most part was handling the whole thing fairly well after a visit to the doctor and being told what steps to take. Donna doesn’t help by falling down the WebMD rabbit hole and sharing her findings with the group (she just thought the stuff she was reading about was cool and wanted to share). That’s enough to send Jackie into a bit of a panicked spiral that Hyde has to calm down by pointing out that he didn’t receive any medical attention growing up and the kid’s got at least half his genes. They’ll survive the freakin’ plague. (The physical health of his kids is the one area Hyde is not worried about.)

who’s on the fence about vaccination? At one point or another they each were, but at different times and for different reasons. Jackie is determined that her children deserve the absolute best and those anti-vaxxers get to her at first, before Donna gives her some actual research on the topic and she changes her mind. Hyde full on believes that the medical system is a scam and isn’t too sure that vaccines aren’t just ways for doctors to make more money. But he also doesn’t buy that vaccinating kids does any damage to them either and is more reluctant to pay money to those greedy pharmaceutical corporations.

who bothers the doctor at 3 AM? I’m going with neither. Hyde doesn’t trust the system enough (hospitals are fine, but doctors, man) and while at first Jackie wants to run to the ER with every minor bump or scrape, they both trust Kitty more. If you were to ask who bugs the RN at 3 am… Jackie with the physical stuff and Hyde with the psychological. He’s deathly afraid he’s going to screw his kids up mentally, and while he goes to Red a bit more often, especially when he knows deep down he’s being paranoid, when he’s got a legit concern he goes to the person who can honestly tell him if his kids are alright.

who nudges the other in the middle of the night to go handle the baby? Jackie does. Hyde will straight up shake her awake if he doesn’t want to get up for whatever reason, but Jackie likes her sleep, and usually has to work early the next day, and Hyde is cool with stumbling into the nursery in ass crack of dawn to check on the baby.

who pretends to be asleep when the baby is screaming? While new parents, they both rush to the baby every time it lets out anything resembling a noise of distress. After a bit, Hyde becomes the default for when the baby is screaming. He just likes handling the baby at these times, calming them down and soothing them with a low voice and gentle bounce, although he’ll never admit that part out loud. Jackie fully backs his claim that he’s just better at it, but draws the line at him even implying she’s in anyway bad at taking care of her baby. (In his defense, it was suppose to be a tease about Jackie not being perfect at everything. He didn’t realize how it sounded until after she was already fuming mad.)

who takes pictures and videos of everything? Jackie. They have boxes filled with albums filled with photos at anything even hinting at a milestone and many things that aren’t. They don’t get looked at much, but Jackie feels better knowing they’re there. 

who accidentally drops the baby? (let’s be real: it happens) Hyde did it when Jackie wasn’t home. It’s one of the only times he rushes to the doctors without so much as a complaint, and he swears their friends to secrecy (the ones who were there.) The baby was fine, and Red will sometimes use that as an example of why Hyde’s a good dad when he comes to him with his worries.

who has more trouble adjusting to parenthood? Hyde. Neither had good examples growing up, but Jackie took to it with a determination to be the best damn mom she could be. She knows she can do it if she just puts her mind to it. Hyde’s own home life left him with the belief that he’d be better off not becoming a parent and before Jackie, stuck pretty strongly to that belief. If it wasn’t for the support of Jackie, the Formans, and all his friends, he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t be doing half as good a job as he is. (He’s doing just fine, btw.)

who falls asleep with the baby on their chest? Hyde. And you bet your ass Jackie got multiple pictures of it.

who plays airplane with the baby and ends up with puke on their face? (alternatively: in their mouth) Kelso. Hyde plays airplane when the kid is older and asks for it, and Jackie doesn’t see the point of her doing it (”That’s what dads are for”). Neither of them were happy to come in to find Kelso making engine noises while “flying” their baby around the room. (”What they hell are you doing, man? Put my kid down.”)

who gets overwhelmed the easiest? Jackie’s determination to be the best mom she can be means she’s a little less forgiving of herself for when she screws up. She’s got a lot of confidence in herself, but no one’s perfect and having a career and a family and social life takes it toll and sometimes something’s gotta give. Loudly. Hyde’s overwhelmed moments are a little quieter. It’s not that he doesn’t get overwhelmed, he’d just rather deal with it privately.

who scalds themselves when testing the bottle temperature on their wrist? Hyde. In his defense, he does most of the bottle feedings.

who dresses the baby up in funny outfits? Jackie, which Hyde absolutely hates. “It’s cute! And really fashionable right now!” “I don’t care! You’re not dressing my kid up like fucking cartoon character!”

who rocks the baby to sleep while singing to them? Jackie tries but it didn’t work. She’s found putting on a record helps though. She’ll never admit to Hyde that the baby likes Aerosmith. When it’s really late at night and everyone’s asleep, Hyde will sometimes sing to the baby when they’re getting a little fussy. The fact that he sings what he secretly considers his and Jackie’s song is a fact that he will take to his grave.

who accidentally adds too much soap to the bath so the baby ends up in a sea of bubbles? Hyde didn’t bother to measure and just dumped like half the bottle in. The oldest loved it though and it became a tradition on nights when Jackie has to work late. Just as long as they get everything cleaned up before mom gets home they’re good. (Jackie totally knows. She thinks it’s adorable.)

who lets the baby try/eat/drink anything and everything they have? They both do to an extent. Hyde read like all the parenting books while Jackie was pregnant with their first kid and knows babies explore the world with their mouths. And Jackie asked Kitty to make sure beforehand but figures letting her kid try some of the things she’s having won’t hurt (within reason).

who is the baby tamer? (AKA who is the one that can calm the baby down with no problems whatsoever) Fez. Kids cry and scream sometimes for no reason, which Jackie and Hyde learn the hard way. They do pretty well, but sometimes Uncle Fez is the only one who can calm the kid down. They keep waiting for him to get tired of it, but he loves being needed/being good at something. When his marriage with Lori falls apart and he’s about to be deported, filing the necessary paperwork for a work visa seems so logical. Fez gets to stay in the country and Jackie gets that nanny she’s been wanting.

[gwilyoubemine]

i was tagged by the lovely and iconic @fancytelephonepatter

rules:

pick 5 tv shows, don't cheat and answer the questions,, and tag people

so i picked:

1. that 70's show

2. nathan for you

3. rupaul's drag race

4. brooklyn nine nine

5. stranger things

who is your favourite character in 2?

lmaooo...nathan for you is a dumbass show about a guy who graduated from business school with decent grades and develops shitty, but hilarious, business plans. it's not really a show with characters since he goes to real businesses but nathan is the only main character i suppose so yes, him. but there's this reoccurring dude who works as this private investigator (who thinks he is the shit) and watching him interact with nathan is so damn funny so there's that.

who is your least favourite character in 1?

it used to be jackie...even though mila kunis is great...jackie was just so annoying, man. but it could very well have been hyde. he was so irrelevant at the beginning and i was kind of like who is this guy?? but then he grew on me and now i think he is one of the best. as of right now..maybe laurie is the worst one for me.

what is your favourite episode of 4?

man, that's too hard to answer. i love so many. i don't want to start talking about other eps i like because there are so many iconic moments in that show and i would really just go on for too long. i would have to say 'beach house' because it was honestly just hilarious...all of them trying to be on their best behaviour for captain holt..the hot tub scene...how they had to make sure some of them were upstairs with holt while they partied downstairs sksksk. those cuts of the conversation with him kill me. a personal fave quote is: 'now, the recorder is generally thought of as a training instrument for children but listen to it...in the hands of an expert like joram leifgrum..the passion is...breathtaking'

favourite season of 5?

confession time,, i haven't watched one or two. well, a few eps. my siblings were really obsessed so they basically told me everything that happened anyway. i just watched season 3 with them and i really enjoyed myself, even with how intense it all got. all i can say is...alexei is a precious god given gift. and man, i love the whole scoops lads plus two epic kiddos gang. and billy looked real good. real good.

favorite couple in 2?

man whY is nathan for you such a bad tv show for these questions pmsl. it's a meme. nathan and the asshole private inspector dude for sure. my otp.

what is your favourite episode of 1?

i have only just got onto season 3 so i have a long way to go and many potential fave eps to come but...i would have to say 'the best christmas ever' or 'halloween'...honestly fez and hyde make me laugh all the time. and kelso, that dumbass.

what is your favourite episode of 5?

that one with alexei and the cherry slush. is that also the one where he is at the funfair place? because that was cute as heck too.

what is your favourite season of 2?

probably the first one, that was especially funny. go and watch nathan for you. it's a bit awkward but with shows like the office and...the inbetweeners...that awkwardness is a key part of the comedy.

how long have you been watching 1?

i started it...not long ago. at the start of this month i think. it feels like i have been watching it for longer though since i have been binge watching it.

how did you become interested in 3?

honestly, i didn't think i would like it?? i saw memes every now and then but i didn't really care for it. one day last year my younger sister put on an ep of season four and we just started watching it. and now we have watched every season up to 11 and most of the all stars. best decision of our lives. rupaul's drag race is iconic..all stars is iconic...it's just great tv.

who is your favourite actor in 4?

andre braughner even though i haven't watched him in anything else. captain holt is just gold. but all those actors are seriously amazing at what they do. amazing cast.

do you prefer 1, 2 or 5?

atm i love that 70's sjow but nathan for you is just so dumb and hilarious. it's really hard picking :( can i say both? maybe if i watched seasons 1 and 2 of stranger things i would be able to say that...i don't know

which show have you seen more eps of, 1 or 3?

rupaul's drag race of course. i have watched like..10 whole seasons or something. that's alotta drag. i loved every moment tbh.

if you could be anyone from 4, who would it be?

probably holt...i just love him so much. or jake? because he has a lot of dumb fun, has a cute gf (wife now ah) and is a kick ass detective. and he gets a cool boss like that.

would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

i doubt it lmaoo... i can see boyle and terry really getting into it, getting dragged up. and jake pmsl. i think rosa and michelle would defo have a stare off or something. wow i just envisioned scully and hitchcock in drag and it's horrifying.

pick two characters from 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple.

i don't even know the endgame couples..or couples along the way...but i would have to say that gay guy buddy and eric :-)))))

overall, which show has a better story-line, 3 or 5?

stranger things just because drag race has no real story line.... but the story line in stranger things is really unique and gripping. very nice stuff.

which has better theme music, 2 or 4?

both are good...but yep..the b99 theme music does indeed slap

i tag @xiaoqueencava @killergwil @denimmay @rogerina-is-hotter-than-me @deaky-trash @bensroger @queenbbarnes @cyndagoaway @supersonicfreddie

[those70scomics]

This is a story I wrote five-ish chapters for out of eight (and outlined the story’s end). I very much doubt I’ll finish it. So I’ve decided to post what I’ve got, in its first draft and outline form.

Starring: Eric, Donna, Hyde, Jackie, Kelso, Fez, and Buddy Morgan.

Rated: T

Note: Like with all my fic, I’ll post one chapter a week. This is a first draft, so please pardon any awkwardly-worded sentences and what-not.

Light Beams and Rays Brushes from obsidiandawn.com

Links to the Rest of the Story: Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Outline for the End

Disclaimer: That '70s Show copyright The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC.

CHAPTER ONE THE LEMNISCATE

Eric was supposed to sleep, but his bed had become a boat, traversing the vast ocean of memory. Its course was a figure-eight, an infinity symbol. The ceaseless back-and-forth nauseated him, but his hands lay helplessly on his stomach. Cold sweat dampened his back, or maybe the boat had sprung a leak. Either way, his back sank into his mattress, and the ceiling-sky blinded his eyes with the end and the beginning. Donna had returned his ring, his promise of forever.

She'd given him his first kiss, dooming his heart to a permanent, unbearable loss.

His blood heated with the inescapable images, fueling him enough to roll onto his side. He clutched his pillowcase and squeezed his eyes shut, but Donna was behind them, leaving eternity on the hood of the Vista Cruiser. His gold promise ring had blazed in the moonlight. It had burned his palm as his fingers closed around it.   “God,” he said into the darkness of his room, “I wish we'd never kissed.” A strange wind swept over the bed, tickling the hairs on the back of his neck. His gaze fixed on the window, but it was closed. “Jeez,” a deep voice said, “what a drama queen.”

Eric rolled onto his back again and sat up a little. His pulse remained steady, despite the intruder standing at the foot of the bed. The man was broad-shouldered, overweight, and dressed in an all-white suit. He could’ve been Bob's fraternal twin, but Eric had never seen him before. “Who are you?” Eric said, though he must've fallen asleep. He had to be dreaming; otherwise, his heart would be thudding in his throat. Someone had broken into his room. That was plenty of cause for a freak-out, but Eric's breathing remained even. The intruder waved his hand in the air. “Let's go.”

Eric tried to muster a sense of panic. That was the normal response to a kidnapper, but no panic came, and he said, “Go where?” “Well, you said you wished that you'd never kissed her. I can show you what would've happened if you never did.”

The intruder had to mean Donna. Eric was definitely dreaming, and he sat up a little more in the bed. “What are you, like a genie?”   The intruder's eyebrows flattened over his eyes. “Genies aren't real. I'm an angel.” “You're not an angel.” Eric had gone to church enough times to tell the difference. “You don't even float. Everyone knows angels float.” “Fine.” The intruder opened his arms wide and levitated several feet off the ground. White light radiated from his body, brightening every corner of Eric's room. It didn't sting Eric's eyes, though, and Eric applauded his subconscious. Its special effects were on par with Industrial Light & Magic's. “Eric Forman,” the intruder said, sweetening his voice, “God's favorite cherub, come with me, and I will release you of your suffering. Don't be afraid, little one.” Eric didn't move from the bed. This dream was approaching disturbing territory. “No offense,” he said, “but are you coming onto me?” The intruder lost his light, his float, and his sweetness. He glared at Eric and said, “Are you ready?” “Not under your terms. I know what would've happened if me and Donna never kissed: I'd lose all our bad times and the good.” Eric gestured dismissively. “Neither of us would be who we are today, blah, blah, blah.” No beginning meant having no ending, but he'd still be without Donna. Somewhere deep inside, he'd feel that absence, whether they'd kissed or not. He flung the covers off himself and jumped out of the bed. He stood face-to-face with the intruder, who smelled surprisingly like freshly-baked cookies. “If you really are what you say you are,” Eric said, “an angel, how about you do something to fix us — well, not us. Me and Donna.” “I can't do that.” “Then good night.” Eric slumped onto the bed and slid his feet beneath the sheets. “But you can.” “Yeah?” Shivers glided across his skin like tiny ice skaters. His instinct was to pull his sheets tightly around himself, but he kicked them to the floor. “Tell me.” “Here's the deal,” the intruder said. “I'll reset your relationship with Donna and all your friends. It'll be like they never met you, and you'll have one week to get a kiss from Donna. If you do, not by force but by choice, then your relationship with her will be fixed.” “Fixed-fixed? Like we never broke up?” “You'll be back together faster than you can say, 'God, I wished we'd never kissed.'” “And if I can't get her to kiss me?” Eric understood how these deals worked. They always had a catch, a horrible, horrible catch. “Are my lips gonna fall off?” The intruder laughed, as if he were privy to a punchline Eric would never get. “No, no. You'll just never get back together. Ever. No third chances. So, are you in?” “Sure, why not?” This was only a dream, after all, and had no actual consequences. Second chances, third chances ... they didn’t matter. Eric wouldn't get either in real life. If the intruder was offering him a few hours of non-misery, he might as well take it. “How do I get started?” “First, you stop calling me the intruder inside your head. It's annoying. Second, check the time.” Eric glanced at his clock-radio. It displayed 3:48 am. “Done and done ... angel guy.” “Now all you have to do is get back in bed.” “Oh, man! I knew this was too good to be true. The second I get into that bed, you're going to do something weird to me, aren't you?” The angel sighed. “Let me do my job, kid.” He patted Eric's cheek. The touch was gentle, but it sent Eric flying onto the bed. “Shut up, shut your eyes, and you'll wake up in your new, full-of-possibilities life.” “Right. If I shut my eyes, you'll...” Eric yawned. He fought to stay awake, but exhaustion overwhelmed his body, something he'd thought would never happen again. His eyes drifted closed, and gratitude filled him. Finally, he'd get some sleep ... but wasn't he already asleep? “No,” the angel whispered, and the last thing Eric felt was being tucked into his sheets.

Eric's eyes popped open to Big Star's “Thirteen”. His clock-radio had a nasty habit of choosing the worst songs to wake him. Day one after his breakup with Donna, and the first song he had to hear was theirs. A barrage of knocks on his door got him out of bed, but the door opened before he could get to it. He must have forgotten to lock it last night, and his subconscious had registered it. That explained his weird dream. “Eric, Eric!” his mom said and rushed into the room. “Breakfast's ready. I want you downstairs and eating in five minutes.” “Thanks, Mom, but I don't really feel like eating.” “Too bad, mister. I won't have you going to school on an empty stomach.” School? Today was the first day of summer break, but she left before he could object. It didn't matter. She'd realize her mistake when he didn't show for breakfast. He closed the door and reached for the slide lock. He had a fun day of staring up at the ceiling ahead of him — but the slide lock wasn't on his door. Neither were the holes he'd drilled to install the slide lock. “What the hell?” “Don't you mean, 'What the heaven?'” That was the angel's voice, and Eric turned toward it. The angel stood before him, wearing that all-white suit. “Welcome to the first day of your new life, Eric.” “No...” Eric slapped his own face. “Ow!” “You're not dreaming,” the angel said. “Let me catch you up. Your dad got transferred from an auto-parts plant in Janesville. Your family spent the last week moving into this house, unpacking boxes and the like. Today is your first day at Point Place High.” He clasped Eric's shoulder. “Make the most of it.” Eric rubbed his tender cheek. “That's cutting it close, isn't it? My family would never move to a new town a week before I had to start school.” “And you never thought you'd be talking to an angel, but here we are.” “Point taken. Anything else I should know?” “Plenty.” The angel grinned smugly. “I'll leave you to it.” “But—” Eric said, but the angel had disappeared. “Fine. Day one … of trying not to screw up my life again.” He went downstairs in his pajamas. The scent of bacon should’ve drawn him to the kitchen, but his appetite was buried six feet underground, along with his relationship with Donna. When he woke from this dream, no matter what he accomplished during it, he'd still be without her. “Okay, angel, I'm out,” he said by the swinging door. Indulging this fantasy wouldn't change anything. “Just let me wake up, and I'll get on with my next seventy years of misery.” “Sorry, no dice. We have a contract,” the angel said inside Eric's mind, and an invisible hand shoved Eric through the swinging door. “Well, look who it is,” Red said as Eric stumbled into the kitchen. “Don't think you're getting out of going to school just because you'll be new there. I have to start at a new plant today, supervising an assembly of dumbasses I've never met. So sit your butt down and eat.” Eric stared at his mom, who was pouring him a glass of orange juice. She must've told Red some story about Eric being nervous. “If you eat breakfast,” she said, “you'll get a nice surprise.” “Kitty, don't bribe the boy.” “It's not a bribe. It's encouragement.” Eric sat at the table. Whatever his parents were going on about, he didn't care.  He plucked a piece of bacon from his plate and nibbled its corner off. “I don't know why you two are such Gloomy Guses,” his mom said. “I'm just so excited about starting at the hospital.” She went on about her new job as head nurse, and Eric managed to eat half the scrambled eggs on his plate and most of the bacon. His ability to swallow died, though, when Red said to him, “If you manage to make any friends today, don't go off anywhere with them after school. Your mom is making us meet the neighbors tonight—” “The Pinciottis,” Mom said. “I bumped into one of them yesterday—Midge. She seems nice. A little flaky but nice. They'd just gotten back from California—oh!” She patted the table with the flat of her hand. “Eric, they have a daughter who goes to Point Place High. You'll probably meet her there!” She laughed. “Wouldn't it be something if you two became friends? You could study together.” “Yeah, that's...” Eric squashed a lump of scrambled eggs with his fork. It squeezed through the fork tines, bleeding yellow. Red cleared his throat. “Okay, enough of this. Eric, your mother and I have been talking. Since the hospital is so close, I can take the Toyota to work and your mom can take the bus." ”Honey, honey, really, I'd rather walk,” Mom said, and Eric experienced a sense of déjà vu. His parents went into a lecture about car safety and “appropriate car use,” and at the end of it the Vista Cruiser's keys went flying over the table. They landed in Eric's eggs. “You're never going to make a sports team with those reflexes,” Red said. “That's it. I'm gonna run you through some drills after school—” “Leave him alone, Red. He's a nervous wreck, the poor thing.” Mom pulled the keys from the eggs and washed them in the sink. “Eric, get dressed and brush your teeth—and make sure your nails are trimmed and clean. You want to make a good impression on your new teachers. If you do that, you're sure to make friends.” “Yes, Mom.” Eric returned to his room. He had no plans on driving to school. Contracts made in dreams with figments of his subconscious weren't legally binding. They couldn't be. He headed for his bed and smacked into an invisible wall. “Hey!” He pushed his shoulder into what should've been air, but it felt like shoving against brick. “This is my dream, so I make the rules. And I say I'm going back to sleep.” He tried again to reach his bed, but his forehead crashed into the invisible wall. “Okay, I'll sleep on the floor.” He curled up on the carpet, but his head throbbed. Terrific. He had a headache in his sleep ... which would keep him from falling asleep? That made no sense. Nothing made sense. He pressed fingers into his temples and groaned.   Air whooshed into his ears, sounding like a sigh. “You're one stubborn kid,” the angel said, and Eric opened his eyes. The angel was standing in front of the bed, arms cross over his chest. “You just have to have everything your way, don't you?” “My way?” Eric pushed himself off the floor, though his head pounded with every movement. “If everything went my way, Donna and I wouldn't have broken up. She'd be wearing my promise ring on her finger. Instead—“ Pain slammed into his skull, making him wince. “Instead,” he repeated, “I've got a stupid headache that won't let me fall back asleep in my own stupid dream.” The angel gestured to himself. “Come here.” Eric stepped toward him but wasn't sure if was under his own command. “What's your problem?” the angel said. “You. You're keeping me from my bed and getting on with the rest of my miserable life.” “Nah. That's not the problem.” The angel struck Eric's forehead with his palm. Eric staggered backward, but the pain in his head had stopped. “Wow.” Eric blinked a few times. “Thanks … even though you're the one who gave me the headache in the first place.” “Because you don't believe.” Eric glanced over the angel's shoulder to his bed. “Damn right I don't believe. I don't believe you're an angel. I don't believe I'm not dreaming. I don't believe—” His voice caught. “I don't believe Donna gave me back my ring, that — that she can see a future without me because...” His mouth went dry. He swallowed, but it didn't help. “Because I can't see a future without her.” “Do you believe there's any hope for you and her?” “I...” His gaze fell to his feet. His toes dug into the carpet, and he swallowed again,  “No.” “And there's part of your problem.” The angel poked Eric in the chest, and Eric gasped as memories bombarded every part of him. The taste of pumpkin pie coated his tongue. The Pinciottis' kitchen filled his vision. Blood heated the nape of his neck, and his own words burrowed into his ears: “Donna, look, that kiss was great and if I could take it back, I would because it's not worth ruining what you and I have.” The angel was making him relive Thanksgiving, the one when he'd Frenched Laurie's college friend. “Eric,” his memory of Donna said, “you are a dumbass.” The Pinciottis' kitchen vanished, replaced by the woods. The smell of mud saturated his nose. The night air was cold, but Donna's body warmed him, along with the double sleeping bag they shared. Vanstock. Donna's laughter was all he heard, until his voice spoke over it, “It's nice to laugh, isn't it? 'Cause I kind of knew about Kelso and Laurie all along and didn't tell you.” “Excuse me?” his memory of Donna said. “Which was wrong,” his memory-self said, “but now I'm being honest, which is right, right?” “Get out of this bag.” “No, wait, Donna. Just, please listen—” “Fine, I'll get out.” Donna's warmth disappeared, but it returned minutes later. “Hey! Move over.” “You're not mad at me anymore?” “Nope.” “So, what are you thinking?” his memory-self said. “That Kelso's an idiot and if I say anything to Jackie, it'll hurt her.” “Yes, exactly.” “And you know what else? You're like, a really great boyfriend.” His heart raced, then and now. His skin tingled as the woods faded. His room rematerialized around him, and the angel said, “I guess you were right. There's no hope. I'll let you out of our deal. All I have to do is snap my fingers, and—” He raised his hand into the air. “Wait, no.” Eric's lashes were damp, and he grasped the angel's hand with both of his own. “Let me try. Please, just ... let me try.” The angel smiled serenely and, before vanishing in flash of light, gave Eric a salute, as if to say, “Good luck.”

[lucky-katebishop]

Top 10 Failed/Doomed Ships

Hello! So I watch a lot of TV and something that pops up a lot are relationships that the public has been rooting for, but for some reason or another, the writers and show-runner feel like it would be the best to end that relationship. This is a list of my personal top 10 failed relationships that were once canon. 

Note: This is my opinion and only my opinion, I do not speak for the general public or anybody besides myself. Also none of these pictures are mine, I got them off Google Images. 

Spoilers for: Gossip Girl, Gilmore Girls, Daredevil, The Defenders, Skins (UK), That 70′s Show, Please Like Me, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Lucifer, How I Met Your Mother, and Doctor Who

10. Josh and Arnold (Please Like Me)

Josh and Arnold was so soft. They were so so soft and when they broke up in season three, it was weird because it not only felt like a crushing disappointment but also a relief. They had been fighting and had recently decided to have an open relationship where Josh had found another man, and it was weird because (it may have only been me) I rooted for Josh and that other man. Their breakup felt so realistic because it felt almost impulsive, the way they screamed at each other during the camping site. Josh ended up getting back together with his season one boyfriend and it didn’t feel right to me. But I have always praised this show on how realistic it feels and Josh and Arnold’s breakup depicted how sometimes in life shit happens and it’s just not the right time for two people to be together. Which really sucks because they were like so great together, but the reason this is so low on the list is because of that realistic feeling. It just unfortunately was not their time to be together anymore.

9. Matt and Elektra (Daredevil)

Matt’s life has always been so private, even to the audience, so when we were given the gift of a series of flashbacks of a baby faced Matt in college and his super elegant, dangerous girlfriend, Elektra, I instantly fell in love with them. They are the epitome of the good guy/bad guy relationship and it’s amazing! I love their dynamic, especially when she comes back and Matt is faced with his moral dilemma of trying to stop her, or join her and it’s so unbelievably hot. Their relationship is so hot. What’s worse is that Matt was so heartbroken during the entirety of The Defenders, trying to find her that he was almost unable to focus on anything else. The way he would risk is life for her, even when she didn’t even recognize him just speaks volumes about their relationship. I understand why she had to die, it just sucks because I would’ve liked to see more Matt/Elektra fighting villains and just being super sexy morally gray vigilantes. 

8. Lane and Dave (Gilmore Girls)

Okay, you’re probably going, “Why is this above Matt/Elektra? You’re crazy!” Listen. Every single time I watch Gilmore Girls I am infuriated about how Lane and Dave broke up. I understand that the actor who played Dave had to leave to star on The O.C. but Lane and Dave were just so cute and adorable! He read the whole freaking bible in a single night to persuade Mrs. Kim to let him take Lane to the prom! They understood each other, and he supported her with their music, her mom, and her life. Dave enjoyed playing music for Mrs. Kim for pretty much an entire day just so he could be near Lane. He never made her feel bad for the things she liked, and he was just so so gentle. I always rewatch the scene where Dave is jealous about how Lane is going on a date that her mom set up for her and he ran all the way to her school just so he could say, “Hi. Just checking in.” I will never forget jealous Dave! So cute, just so cute. Lane and Dave breaking up is something I will never forgive Amy Sherman Palladino because it was the catalyst for Lane’s shitty life. Lane married really young, she had kids (and she didn’t even enjoy the sex, mind you) and then didn’t even end up being a rock star like she wanted! I know she was supposed to mirror Lorelai, but Palladino could’ve done Lane better. Instead she did her dirty. 

7. Joel and Midge (The Marvelous Mrs Maisel)

I don’t believe Midge and Joel are a failed relationship in the way that you might think. It’s the reason why they are going to keep going back to another is the reason why they are a failed relationship. Lenny Bruce sang it himself in the season two finale. Midge and Joel are meant to be together in the most fucked up way possible. Always going back and forth between getting back together and being apart. They will always love each other in the most comfortable and frustrating way possible. Sabotaging their future relationships. I do not believe they belong together. I do not believe Midge has to settle for him and I don’t believe Joel has to settle for her. She has changed, he can see that and he doesn’t like it. She inspires Joel to be better but that doesn’t mean they belong together. Amy Sherman Palladino has a vision and it frustrates me but I understand this is the way things are supposed to be. So we as the audience has to settle for their relationship just like they have to settle for each other. It’s brilliant in it’s own fucked up way. 

6. Barney and Robin (How I Met Your Mother)

I am not over this. I am still not over this. Hey, guess what, I am not over this! Man, the series finale did us dirty. For an entire season to be revolved around the love between Barney and Robin only for the last fifteen minutes to rip our security and comfort out from under us is diabolical. Barney and Robin went through a lot. Their character development was beautiful but the writers had a vision and just straight up ruined them. Barney and Robin knew each other so well and they had so much fun together vs Robin and Ted who Ted just expected so much out of Robin and tried to make her into something that she wasn’t. Robin and Barney were a badass couple who shared their vulnerabilities and insecurities because they felt safe in their relationship which is why it’s a damn shame that they had to get divorced in the last few minutes of the series finale. 

5. Rich and Grace (Skins UK)

Generation 3 could’ve been better, I know, but it got progressively worse when Grace died. Why they had to kill off the most beautiful, adorable, sweetest character in Skins history I don’t really know, but damn them. Grace and Rich were the epitome of the dark, angsty character dates the light, bubbly character. He was a metalhead and she was a ballerina and if that’s not cute then you don’t know what you’re talking about. Their relationship has always reminded me of a Shakespeare tragedy, where two unlikely characters meet, fall in love, are torn apart by their families, they run away to get married, and the one of them di- oh okay, so yeah, they’re Romeo and Juliet. Alright. I never made that connection until just now. Well it fits because they are fucking cute and romantic as hell. Just thinking about them rips my heart out because I really didn’t like generation three, but I really did like them. I am angry and betrayed that I never got a relationship like this in high school (I mean granted I didn’t have a relationship in high school so...)

4. Chloe and Lucifer (Lucifer)

Just look at them in this picture! So soft! I love them for so many reasons. She makes him human, most of all. Who would’ve thought Satan himself would feel vulnerable around a human being? This is better mythology than Hades and Persephone. Just, god, they are the high strung detective/ morally gray childish detective dynamic and it works so well. I put them on the doomed relationship list because well, they were canon for an episode and then just kind of stopped. They’re kind of like New Girl with Nick and Jess because you know they are going to happen eventually, you just don’t know when. I just hope that the show does better when Lucifer and Chloe get together vs when Nick and Jess got together because season three was a mess. The most amazing thing is that they both bring out vulnerabilities with each other. Chloe lets down her walls when she’s around him and he becomes more human. It’s so cute. They’re partners and they trust each other and damn, did I mention that she makes him human? Because that is truly insane. I can’t wait to see what they do with season 4. I know it’s going to take a really long time for them to get together and that makes me want to rip my hair out but we’re going with it. The reason why this is so high on the list is because they had everything going for them in season two but Lucifer had to be himself, of course and it just fucked everything up.

3. Hyde and Jackie (That 70′s Show)

Still bitter. Still angry. Still annoyed. I mean, come on, Fez? Really? Out of everyone Jackie could’ve end up with, she ended up with Fez? Are you actually serious? Hyde and Jackie were such a surprising couple but it makes so much sense. Their relationship, to me, mirrored Kitty and Red a lot and I’m really mad they broke up. I am not even going to talk about the last season except I think it’s universally agreed upon every That 70′s Show fan that it should not have existed and it’s incredibly stupid (and out of character). Hyde and Jackie evolved together, and they cared for each other, and they made each other better people. They just matched so well and it got all screwed up. 

2. The Doctor and River (Doctor Who)

They were so perfect because of so many reasons it makes me so sad they broke up. But the worse thing is that I know why they had to break up, I get that, and I accept it. But damn we really should’ve gotten more scenes of them just being domestic. They were so perfect! And River’s storyline is just beyond genius, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that they had planned this storyline in season 4, my god. They were both so playful and fun, I like to believe they’re the more bubbly version of Matt/Elektra. The Doctor cared so much for River and I think it sucks so much that we didn’t get to see as much cuteness as I would have liked. They had like two kisses, three kisses tops and I find that sad because their chemistry is so amazing. Sorry my reasons are getting progressively worse, I am tired. 

Honorable Mentions: June/Happiness (The Handmaid’s Tale), Sammy/Abigail (Dance Academy), Jane/Michael (Jane the Virgin), Sara/Chuck (Chuck), Tracey/Connor (Chewing Gum), Evie/Dylan (Lovesick), Maddie/Josh (Liv and Maddie)

1. Dan and Blair (Gossip Girl)

Listen. I don’t care what you say, they belong together. Dan and Blair is a couple you wouldn’t think would work but they fit so well together. They’re both from completely different backgrounds but it doesn’t matter because they have each other. Dan understands Blair in a way Chuck never could. Dan loves who Blair is not in spite of her flaws but because of them. Blair and Dan are able to say those three words that Blair and Chuck had so much trouble saying: I love you. Honestly, Blair and Chuck were never able to say I love you to each other! (well they did but not as easily.) It says something, huh? Dan was there for Blair when Chuck wasn’t, he loved her when no one else would, and he saw the value in Blair. They brought each other up and were so soft. They had problems like any couple but they communicated with each other like a healthy couple does in order to grow from their mistakes. They really did love each other and were the healthiest couples in the entire show (besides Cyrus and Eleanor). I will forever be bitter. 

I hope you enjoyed my list! Sorry if you didn’t agree with me, leave who you think belongs on this list in the comments. I’ve made a couple lists similar to this, so here’s the link: Masterlist