#i support hets x

[meraarts]

Rewatching Het Huis Anubis and, man, my child self did not register how much every scheme Jeroen pulls is 100% motivated by what Appie wants. Like. I can’t stress enough how he has no goals outside of making his boy best friend happy. He might be evil but he is also a homosexual

[pegging-satan]

I also feel that yosano/kajii is a pretty neat ship dynamic. Lots of untapped potential here tbh just sayin

[sterredem]

The Secret of Us

Driver!Singer!Reader x 2023/2024 grid

Face Claim Gracie Abrams

Warnings hate, not proofread, spelling mistakes (prolly)

Summary In the world where Y/n is a racing driver the current grid isn’t always supportive. So she proves everyone wrong that she can do more than just driving cars around.

A/N a little less with the grid then I would like but I still love it. Also as always there will be spelling mistakes.

Also for people that don’t know ‘y/f/n’ means ‘your friends name’ so you need to make that up too! (For the Gracie fans she is basically the replacement for Audrey)

Please comments and repost!! And dead back is also always appreciated🫶❤️!

Instagram

Like by Redbullraacing and 836.837 others

Yourusername Got P3 today! Happy with the results. Also had a great time exploring China. A little 2 week break before Miami. Looking forward to be in the US again. And thank you for the team @Redbullracing for the good calls.

View all 19.836 comments

Y/f/n So proud 💕

LewisHamilton great job 👏

User1 why does the caption look so pr written? Like where is the emotion?

User2 prolly cause it is

User1 huh? Why?

User2 Y/n accidentally posted some things she wasn’t supposed to (a few times) (things like race strategy’s and some other milder things) so the PR team decided that it would be better to have all het social media managed (she can still chose her pictures and some caption and the posts from the off season)

User1 ahhh thanks

User3 Favourite racing driver

User4 she’s so pretty~

User5 I hope she gets control of her social media back soon that was the most fun times with her funny captions and pictures

User6 P3 Whohoo!

User7 does anyone know why almost none of the drivers like it comment on her posts? They always do it with the other ones. Even max didn’t like and he is het team mate

User8 we don’t know but there are a lot of speculations that either the WAG’s Forbit them or that they just don’t like her very much. Maybe even both

User7 why don’t the wag’s and drivers like her?

User8 the wags are prolly jealous and the drivers are just salty white men that can’t handle a girl being successful in motorsports (besides Lewis and some retired drivers they are great friends)

User7 thank you 🙏

User9 🏎️

User10 I don’t understand how people can dislike her

User11 I love her

User12 I love her and y/f/n’s friendship

User13 deserved💪

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Instagram

Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 1.293.836 others

Yourusername A little trip with friends before going back to work✈️

View all 78.752 comment

Y/f/n Cutie

Yourusername says you

SabrinaCarpenter beauty liked by author

User1 she’s so pretty

User2 it’s so woerd that no one related to f1 in het likes is not even her team only some fans

User3 so true!

User4 I love her friends

User5 I need a friend group like hers

User6 This is why you do so bad in the races

User7 why???

User6 she isn’t training and is doing other things

User7 well all the other drivers are also having a break and are on vacation and she is one of the top driver on the grid at the moment with a team that are on the top at the moment.

User8 you go girl

User9 wait Sabrina Carpenter in the likes and comments?!?! I didn’t know they where friends

User10 I would love to be friends with her

User12 how is it possible to be this beautiful??

User13 not still the or caption😭😭

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Instagram

Liked by user6 and 186.836 others

F1gossip Y/n y/l/n was seen numerous times going to Long pond studios (the music studio where a lot of artists like Taylor swift record their music). The driver has showed before that she has a talent for music. She showed that with the covers of popular songs that she posted in her YouTube. Is she there to make music herself? Or is she helping her artist friends with something?

View all 9.836 comments

User1 OMG?! Y/n music???

User2 wait that would be so cool…

User3 what is it with f2 drivers and their side quests?

User4 more like f1 drivers and music.

User5 huh? Only Charles did that right?

User4 no! Charles did the piano but Lewis also featured on a few songs as XNDA!

User5 Omg? Cool!

User6 if she does it is going to fail. She is t talented enough for that she can’t even drive

User7 said you. With your fortnight videos

User8 besides the point… but she looks so good…

User9 so true

User10 I’m curious how she is going to promote it. Like is she gonna do it on her main insta en accounts? Cause that one is PR controlled but if she does another one than she doesn’t have a large following

User11 wow. You really thought about that huh? But yeah. I’m curious too

User12 I would love music!

User13 it would also be amazing if she would be on rep tv valt teach with Taylor

|———————————<3—————————————|

Time skip to break between canada and Spain GP

Instagram

Liked by OliviaRodrigo and 1.372.726 others

Yourusername Oops… I cut my hair… also follow @y/nmusic for a suprise on a few hours…

View all 98.836 comments

OliviaRodrigo Beauty (also I followed)

Yourusername says you (yay!)

SabrinaCarpenter exited!!! Liked by author

User1 OMG?!?!

User2 MUSIC???

User3 WE WHERE RIGHT!!

User4 The hair is honestly so cute!

User5 what is that on the street?????? Perhaps a song title????

User6 it’s gonna be bad

User7 stfu with your fortnight

User8 how can one be so perfect?

User9 HOURS???? HOURS?!?!

User10 I followed!!

User11 Already at 1 mill followers?!?!

User12 Is perhaps the TS merch an Easter egg?

User13 So exited!!!!!

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Instagram

Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 937.836 others

Y/nmusic 💛THE SECRET OF US💛 Comes out July 9th!!! I loved making this album, it was amazing working with the people I love. We had a great time writing all this! While it was great their where also tears. 💛RISK💛 will also be out June 19th!!! Y/f/n and I wrote Risk together on our couch. Aaron also produced the shit out if this! And the amazing Abby shot the cover art. I. Love. You.

View all 17.872 comments

SabrinaCarpenter 💛💛💛

OliviaRodrigo So happy that the secret is finally out😉

Y/f/n AAAHHHH!! So exited!!

Laufey Thank god!!✨

Aarondessner ❤️❤️❤️❤️can’t frocking wait!!!!🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

Noahkahanmusic can’t waaaaaait

User1 OMG?? A WHOLE ALBUM?!?!

User2 This is amazing!!!

User3 RISK?! WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

User4 Aaren produced this?!?! This is going to be crazy!!

User5 All these artist in the comments all of a sudden

User6 Untalented, it’s gonna flop

User7 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

User8 Still the grid ignoring her

User9 this isn’t race related so I understand it

User8 but with Charles’ album they liked and said that they were happy for him online

User10 THIS IS GONNA SLAP!

User11 she looks so good in this. Probs to Abby!

User12 R U KIDDING ME

User13 AAAAAAHHHHHH

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Instagram

Yourusername and y/nmusic

Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 827.836 others

Yourusername Some bts shots of me recording this album. This is a little freak before RISK comes out!! Also teach list soon…?

View all 11.826 comments

SabrinaCarpenter You looks so cute while sleep deprived💛

Yourusername awwww thanks cutie

OliviaRodrigo How can one look so cute while working?

Yourusername You know all my secrets baby

Y/f/n I took these🤭

Yourusername yes you did🤭

User1 beauty

User2 does anyone notice that her account isn’t PR controles anymore?!

User3 OMG! Yes! I just notice it that you say it. You instantly see it with the comments amd caption

User4 Long pond studio you say? Where a surten Taylor swift goes??

User5 I love her friendship with other singers

User6 your not cute

User7 she is

User8 I just realised that she wrote and recorded this while also racing and doing all that work

User9 OMG YES! I’m so impressed. I also think she write most of it herself so that also takes quite some time

User10 💛💛💛💛

User11 so exited!!

User12 I love you!!!

User13 still not any drivers

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by OliviaRodrigo and 826.836 others

Y/nmusic Risk out now!! The music video will be out tonight at midnight!!!! Also as a suprise Close to you will be out June 28th!!!! Thank you all so much for the support (and the track list WILL be out soon I promise!!)

View all 15.736 comments

Y/f/n I had a great time directing this!!

Y/nmusic And it turned out amazing!!!!

User1 Probs to Y/f/n for making this masterpiece liked by author and y/f/n

User2 MOST AMAZING SONG EVER!!

User3 Still not other drivers

User4 let it go girl they aren’t obligated to like or interact with things that aren’t f1 related and also them it is only max than needs to do that because he is her team mate.

User5 The party part was amazing

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by ConanGray and 927.936 others

Y/nmusic Close to you out now!!! Also you can buy some new vinyls!! And now I PROMISE that the next post will be the track list!!

View all 7.636 comments

User6 Bad!

User7 stop being so childish bro you are 18

User8 BOTH AMAZING SONGS!

User9 JUST LET ME BE CLOSE TO YOU!!!

User10 CLOSE TO YOU

User11 CLOSE TO YOUUU

User12 your so gorgeous

User13 💛💛💛💛💛💛

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by TaylorSwift and 1.276.286 others

Y/nmusic Finally! It is here! The long awaited track list!! It will all be yours July 9th!!

View all 183.736 comments

Taylorswift Finally! Our little secret is out!!

OliviaRodrigo So proud!!

SabrinaCarpenter Aaaahhhhhh!!

User1 TAYLOR SWIFT?!?!

User2 it’s kind of funny that this is one of the only posts that the drivers like……

User3 I LOVE YOU IM SORRY?!

User4 og y/n fans know I miss you, I’m sorry

Yourusername OMG YOU REALLY ARE AN OG!!

User4 OMG HII!

User5 Charlie?! Blowing smoke?!?! What is this?!?!

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 972.826 others

Y/nmusic ‘The secret of us’ OUT NOW!!! Thank yiu somich to everyone that helped to make this possible!! I also took this time to thank my friends with helping me through this. You helped me both mentally and practically. I love you all

Comments are limited

OliviaRodrigo 💛🫶

SabrinaCarpenter love you😘

Y/f/n 😘😍🥰

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 2.183.936 others

Y/nmusic I had an amazing time playing with you Taylor. It was an honour to play with you on Milan n1!

View all 238.926 comments

Taylorswift always an honour to play with you💛 liked by author

Charles_Leclerc it was amazing seeing you

Landonorris What a great song

User6 not the drivers in the comments😭😭

User7 the drivers are begin for forgiveness now that she is FAMOUS famous

User8 it was rare I WAS THERE!!

User9 it was so funny to see how almost no one knew the text but also so sad cause it is such a good song😭😭

User10 This being at the show where Charles Pierre and a few other drivers where is so funny to me😭

User11 but it could just be accidental

Uset10 it could but they were in the section were all the people are that are invited by Taylor

User12 I LIV ETHEIR FRIENDSHIP!!

User13 best driver fr

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[agentoffangirling]

Bc of all this stuff of "Billy is the first gay character in the MCU", I have decided to compile a list of queer characters in the MCU, sorted by date so y'all know who the actual firsts are

The conditions are thus:

It is confirmed in the project by either the character themselves or by another person. Maybe they speak of a partner, or say "I'm gay" onscreen

It is confirmed outside of the project by a director, actor, writer, etc. The specific thing about this is that it must be spoken about openly, not just "oh I like that idea!". No, it must be said, "yes, we intended for this" "this character is queer", you get the idea. This means cases like where Chloe Bennet voiced support for an openly bi Daisy Johnson in "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." will not be counted, for while she does like it, she doesn't confirm Daisy as bi

The project must be set in the MCU timeline. If it is the subject of a multiverse, then that must be when the multiverse started branching out. "Deadpool and Wolverine" counts, but all other X-Men movies will not count

With these conditions, it also means cases like Iceman will not be considered, as even though him being a mutant is written like a coming out scene, he is still treated as being entirely het

Does that make sense? Good, let's get going

Victoria Hand (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 1, 2013-2014): Lesbian, confirmed by actress

Isabelle Hartley (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 2, 2014-2015): Lesbian, stated by actress

Joey Gutierrez (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 3, 2015-2016): Gay, confirmed on screen

Jeri Hogarth (Jessica Jones, 2015-2019): Lesbian, confirmed on screen

Valkyrie (Thor: Ragnarok & Thor: Love and Thunder, 2017/2022): Bisexual, confirmed by actress and later confirmed on screen

Korg (Thor: Ragnarok & Thor: Love and Thunder, 2017/2022): Gay, only confirmed on screen in Love and Thunder

Karolina Dean (Runaways, 2017-2018): Lesbian, confirmed on screen

Nico Minoru (Runaways, 2017-2018): Bisexual, confirmed on screen

Ruby Hale (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 5, 2017-2018): Aesxual, confirmed by actress

Aneka (Black Panther & Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, 2018/2022): Lesbian, confirmed by actress

Ayo (Black Panther & Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, 2018/2022): Lesbian, confirmed on screen

Unnamed character played by Joe Russo (Avengers: Endgame, 2019): Unknown, confirmed on screen

Marcus Benson (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 6, 2019): Gay, confirmed on screen

Loki Laufeyson (Loki, 2021): Genderfluid and bisexual, confirmed on screen (it is worth noting that Loki was only confirmed as queer in the series, ten years after he made his debut, which is why I only count the series here. However our main timeline Loki is suggested to be same)

Sylvie Laufeydottir (Loki, 2021): Bisexual, confirmed by creators

Yelena Belova (Black Widow & Hawkeye, 2021): Aroace, hinted on screen, confirmed by writer

Phastos (Eternals, 2021): Gay, confirmed on screen

America Chavez (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, 2022): Lesbian, confirmed by actress

America's moms (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, 2022): Unknown, confirmed on screen

Mister Immortal (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, 2022): Bisexual, confirmed on screen

Agatha Harkness (WandaVision & Agatha All Along, 2021/2024): Unknown, potentially sapphic or wlw, confirmed on screen

Rio Vidal (Agatha All Along, 2024): Unknown, potentially sapphic or wlw, confirmed on screen

Billy Maximoff (Agatha All Along, 2024): Gay, confirmed on screen

[fanfics4all]

Forgiveness

Request: Yes / No Fluffcember Day 26!

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 737

Warnings: Just happy caring fluff!

Prompt(s): Forgiveness

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee! 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

*Draco’s POV*

Diagon Alley felt different in the winter twilight… softer, quieter, as if the bustling energy had finally dulled, leaving behind a muted calm that clung to the cold air. The lanterns cast warm pools of light against the cobblestone streets, and as I walked alone, my hand buried deep in my coat pockets, I found myself drifting in thought. 

It had been years since the war ended, but memories of that time lingered like ghosts. Regret clung to me, a constant silent companion that kept me in the shadows even now, years after Hogwarts and the battle that changed everything. I was no longer Draco Malfoy, the self-assured Slytherin prince; I was just a man trying to rebuild a life from the fragments left in the wake of all I’ve done. I became so lost in my thoughts that I almost didn’t see her until she called my name. 

“Draco?” I froze, the sound of my name jolting me out of my thoughts. Turning, I found myself face-to-face with her. She was in my year at Hogwarts, but we never spoke much back then, only in passing. Yet, she was unforgettable. Her eyes held a kindness I didn’t deserve, her expression soft as she stood there, her hands tucked into her coat. 

“Hello.” I forced myself to meet her gaze. I wasn’t quite sure what she was doing talking to me, of all people. 

She took a small step closer and though I expected anger and judgment I’d long since grown used to, her face held none of that. Just a quiet understanding that made me more uncomfortable than anything. 

“Are you… doing well?” She gently asked. I almost scoffed at the question, but caught myself, nodding instead. 

“As well as I can be, and you?” I replied, the words sounding stiff even to me. 

“I’m alright, thank you. Just picking up a few things.” She answered, het face brightening a bit. She held up a small bag, and we fell into silence, neither of us quite sure how to continue. Yet, she didn’t move and her gaze remained steady on me, as if she was waiting for something. 

“Listen…” I began, shifting uncomfortably. 

“I know what you must think of me, what everyone thinks of me… and I wouldn’t blame you if you hate me. I know I deserve it.” The worlds were out before I could stop them, blunt and honest in a way I rarely allowed myself. She didn’t flinch or look away. Instead, her expression softened and she took a step forward. 

“I know you’ve been through a lot, we all have… and I can’t pretend to understand everything you went through, but…” She paused as if searching for the right words. 

“I just wanted you to know that I don’t hold it against you, any of it.” I looked down at the ground, the familiar guilt and shame brewing inside me. 

“You should hold it against me… everyone should…” I said, bitterness creeping into my tone despite myself. She shook her head, her voice soft yet firm. 

“I don’t believe that people can change. I believe you were just as trapped as everyone else.” Her words hung in the air, cutting through the tension like a knife, but in the best possible way. I forced myself to look up, meeting her eyes. 

“Why are you saying this? Why forgive me?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. She took a deep breath, her gaze unwavering. 

“Because holding onto the past won’t change anything, Draco. You did things you regret, I can see that. Yet here you are, trying to move forward like everyone else.” 

It was almost too much to take in. All this time, I’d been ready to face the sneers and the disgust, but forgiveness? I never thought it possible, not from anyone outside my family, let alone from her. 

“Thank you…” I managed to say, feeling a weight lift ever so slightly. Her forgiveness loosened the chains of guilt I’d been carrying all these years. She offered a small smile, and it was enough to make the cold, empty street feel just a bit warmer. 

“You don’t have to thank me, just remember that you’re not alone, okay?” I nodded, unable to find any words. 

“Perhaps we could get a drink, maybe catch up?” She asked and I gave her a small smile. 

“I’d like that…”

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @madammarvellous-blog1 @in-slytherin-we-trust @accio-rogers @sambucky8 @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @answer-the-sirens @andreasworlsboring101 @vanessa-kom-skaikru @impulse-anchor @psamathegoesrawr @nighttimemoonlover @liz-owl @dracoswhvre​

[burnednotburied]

Chapter 8: Stitches

AO3 Link  |  Masterlist

Pairing: Abby Anderson x fem!reader

Fic Synopsis: Abby goes looking for Owen and ends up on the wrong end of your knife.

Tags/CWs: sexual themes/content; angst; slowburn; mutual pining; enemies to friends to lovers; hurt/comfort; tending to injuries; talks of purity culture/ideals and “sin”; internalized homophobia and some comp-het feelings (they’re both so gay but so dumb about it); blood and injury; religious/cult-like ideas; character deaths (canon AND non-canon)

Note: I’m excited for this chapter!!

If you’ve read my first fic “You’re My People,” you might recognize parts of the second half of this chapter. I was going to rewrite the scene entirely, but then I reread YMP for the first time since I wrote it and thought “wait, i actually like this.” So I edited it to be a more accurate depiction of the current vibe/dynamic between our Prophet and our beloved Wolf, switched up the povs, and fixed any plot changes. And it has an entirely different ending!

----------------------------------------------------------------

When Abby had asked you to stay behind, to wait for her back at the aquarium, you just shook your head, picked up your bow, and motioned for her to lead the way. 

Something was off with you. You had been silent for the entire trek from the aquarium to the theater, not asking a single question. 

You didn’t ask who had done that to Owen, Mel, and Yara. You didn’t ask what Abby was planning on doing once you got there. You didn’t ask why this was happening, why someone was tracking her down, how your own friend could’ve gotten caught in the crosshairs and ended up dead.

Which was good, because Abby wasn’t prepared to answer any of those questions right now. 

But you hadn’t even reacted to seeing Yara dead. Abby doesn’t think you even looked at her body, and you treated the huge pools of blood on the floor like they were puddles of rainwater on the street after a storm. Inconvenient but inconsequential.

She knew what this was. She’d seen it before in her friends and fellow soldiers. Hell, she’d done it herself plenty of times. When the hurt gets too big, you shut it down entirely just to make it through. It’s fine in the middle of combat – helpful, even. It becomes a problem when you can’t pull yourself out of it, when you close yourself off indefinitely.

If you didn’t snap out of it on your own once all of this was over, Abby would do it for you.

The two of you had been able to navigate the Seattle streets pretty quickly and without interference. The Wolves and the Seraphites must’ve still been busy killing each other on the island.

“Pinnacle Theater Presents: Cassandra, September 26” was plastered across the front of the building.

And now, staring at the entrance to the theater, Abby realized that she actually had no idea what she was up against. The lights were on inside, so someone was here.

She had seen Tommy Miller earlier at the marina, so she knew he would be inside, but Manny hadn’t said there was a trespasser; he’d said trespassers, plural. She could be in way over her head here, totally outnumbered. Jackson had been huge. They obviously had numbers and resources. But would they really risk those numbers and waste those resources just to avenge one guy? She didn’t know.

Did they leave the map behind on purpose?

Abby could be walking right into a trap. 

She could be leading you into one.

She was about to turn back, about to tell you it wasn’t worth the risk, when her eyes caught on the blood. It was on her hands, under her nails, staining her skin and her clothes. Mixed with the caked-on mud on her shoes. 

Lev’s blood. Yara’s and Mel’s. And Owen’s.

Owen, who had been Abby’s best friend. Who had loved her dad so much. Who cared for her, even when she’d done nothing but push him away. Who never abandoned her, even when he should have. Who continued to be there, to look out for her and support her, even after she broke his heart. 

Owen, who might’ve been the only person left in the world who loved her.

The person who killed him was inside this building.

“Let’s find a way in,” she said.

----------------------------------------------------------------

On the side of the building, there was a metal ladder that was too high up for either of you to reach it on your own, but it led to a fire escape.

“Okay,” Abby said, “Grab that ladder.” She stood beneath it and intertwined her fingers over a bent knee, ready to boost you up.

Realistically, you didn’t think you would be able to reach it even if you grew a full foot taller and stood on top of her head, but you weren’t in the mood to argue. With your right foot, you stepped into her upturned palms and pushed up. Planting your left foot on her shoulder, you stood at your full height, one hand against the wall, and – as you suspected – still couldn’t reach. 

She said your name, clipped and strained, and then, through clenched teeth, “Jump.”

You did, but you wouldn’t have made it if she hadn’t pushed you up, practically throwing you at the ladder.

Holy shit, she was strong.

You grabbed hold of the lowest rung and had to use upper-body strength you honestly didn’t know you had to pull yourself up with your arms until your feet could reach that bottom step.

“Good. You’ve got it,” you heard Abby say from below as you made your way up, the hard part done now. Once you were standing on the fire escape, you quickly found the latch that released the ladder to its full length. Even then, it still didn’t come close to reaching the ground, but it was manageable.

You watched as Abby jumped to grab on and had to go through the same process of pulling herself up with her arms for the first few rungs. Once you were sure she would make it up okay, you turned away and started looking around. There was a window next to you that led into the building, cracked open and letting in the rain. You could hear voices coming from inside, crackling and speaking in code. 

A radio.

“Units Alpha, Bravo, Echo, come in.”

The metal shook as Abby finally landed on the fire escape, and she quickly moved away from the edge.

“Units Alpha, Bravo, Echo, please respond, over.”

Abby pushed the window further open and jumped into a small room with brick walls and faded wooden floors. You followed behind.

She shot you a quick look, putting a finger to her lips as if to warn you to stay quiet as she moved forward through the building, closer to the radio.

“What the hell is going on over there?”

Sounds like things aren’t going so great for the Wolves, you thought as you stepped quietly behind Abby.

She walked up to the work table where the radio sat and stopped in her tracks. You came around to her side to see what she was looking at. On the wall behind the radio, there was a larger map of the area, marked with WLF zone numbers, unit movements, names, and even Seraphite territories. Whoever was staying here had been tracking everyone, and they’d probably been using this radio to do it. 

But why? Who were they and why did they want Abby?

You glanced over to her, but she wasn’t looking at the map. She was staring down at the table at a collection of little photographs.

“These are Leah’s,” she said quietly. You didn’t know who Leah was, but you studied the pictures anyway. Each of them had names written at the bottom.

Abby and Owen. Mel and Owen. Nick and Nora. Manny. Leah and Jordan. (And one of just Leah with her shirt lifted enough to show off one of her breasts… You wondered who that was for.)

You recognized most of the names from the maps. Were all of them dead now?

Abby turned away from the pictures, leaving them there on the table as she moved over to study the map. 

Over the radio, a new voice said, “Site Two! This is Briggs from Unit Echo. Fuck!”

“This is Site Two. Echo, what’s the situation?”

Abby pushed off from the table and headed back out into the hallway, gun at the ready. You took another look at the pictures before grabbing them and shoving them into your pants pocket beside the things you’d taken from the island earlier. Whoever these people were, they didn’t deserve to keep these pictures of Abby and her friends. And maybe later, Abby would want them. 

“Isaac’s dead. It’s a fucking massacre!”

You smiled, despite everything. Your people were fighting back against those fuckers. 

Since when did you use – or even think – words like fucker?

And could you really call the Seraphites your people anymore?

You turned and sped down the hall behind Abby.

“Careful. Stay close,” she whispered once she heard you behind her.

The hallway opened up into a much bigger, wider space. You’d never seen an Old World building like this one before. Carpets covered the floor, some red and some with fancy patterns on them. The walls had colors and designs, the ceilings were so tall, and there was furniture everywhere. You wondered what this place had been used for. Maybe you could ask later.

Abby led the way down a winding flight of stairs, stopping just before going around the corner, holding a hand back behind her to signal you to stop. You lifted your bow and let out a quiet breath. 

A man’s voice came from around the corner, speaking with an accent that was unfamiliar to you.

“Fuckin’ Jesse,” he said. “He thinks I don’t know what real gold looks like.” Abby stepped around the corner, gun pointed at the man who had his back to you. You followed hesitantly, staying close. “Well wait’ll you see this, you son of a bitch. She’s gonna love it,” he went on, clearly talking to himself, completely unaware of the threat directly behind him.

“Hands up,” Abby said, voice cold and hard. He froze. “Back away from your shit.” When he didn’t move, she spoke more forcefully. “I said back up!” 

Slowly, he did, hands empty and out where you both could see them. “You’re making a big mistake–”

“Don’t fucking turn around,” she spit out, stepping forward. 

Her eyes darted to you for a split second, voice lowering as she told you to keep your bow on him. You did, moving around to his side, weapon raised and aimed and ready to fire at a moment’s notice. 

“Get on the ground,” she said, speaking to him again.

“You gonna kill me like a coward?” he asked, unmoving.

Abby didn’t answer. Instead, she kicked in the back of his knee and knocked him on the floor with one swing of her pistol. With the muzzle pressed into the back of his neck, her voice cracked as she mumbled, “You fucking people…”

The giant red doors across from you swung open, and before you had even registered that a young man was rushing through them, Abby had already shot him in the head. Someone else had come in right behind him, but they managed to duck behind the counter before either of Abby’s two shots in their direction could take them out. 

“Jesse!” the other voice gasped from their hiding spot, just as Abby said, “Stand up! Hands in the air or I shoot this one, too!” She trained her gun back on the first man. You kept your bow aimed at the person behind the counter. 

“Don’t you do it, Ellie! Get out of here!” the man said, rolling onto his stomach, holding himself up on his elbows.

“Stand up! Now!” Abby commanded. 

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Abby seethed, kicking him in the stomach. He let out a cry as she brought the gun closer to his head.

“Stop!” came the voice behind the counter. The girl stood up, hands raised, fingers extended away from the trigger of the pistol in her right hand. “Stop.”

You and Abby both took her in. 

She was probably around your age, with shoulder-length brown hair pulled half up. A bruise went across her freckled cheek, and a tattoo covered her entire right forearm. Her shoulders rose and fell quickly with her gasping breaths. Her eyes were panicked. And sad. And scared.

She looked… nice? Harmless?

This was the girl who helped kill all of Abby’s friends? Who killed Yara?

Instantly, there came a stinging pain in your chest so strong that it took your breath away. You’d been trying not to think about that.

You refocused and re-aimed.

“Toss your weapon,” Abby said. The girl hesitated. “Toss your weapon!” Abby shouted.

“Fuck!” Ellie breathed out as she flung her gun on the other side of the counter.

“No… no,” the older man muttered.

“I know why you killed Joel,” Ellie said, voice desperate. “He did what he did to save me. There’s no cure because of me. I’m the one you want.”

If you weren’t confused before, you definitely were now. Who was Joel? What did he do?

And what cure? A cure for the Infection?

You were really starting to wish you’d asked Abby more questions before you came here. 

“Just let him go,” Ellie went on, quickly gesturing to the man on the other end of Abby’s gun.

Abby seemed surprised by the girl’s words, taking a second to process and consider before her eyes hardened again. 

“You killed my friends,” she said, speaking quieter now. “We let you both live…” her voice quavered as she lifted her gun to aim at Ellie, “and you wasted it.”

Before she could pull the trigger, the man jumped up and pushed her arm to the side. The gun went off twice as they struggled for control of the weapon.

“Wait!” Ellie cried out.

“Get off of her!” you shouted, firing an arrow through the man’s leg. He fell back to the ground as Abby pointed her gun at his head and shot.

“Tommy!” Ellie had grabbed her gun again during the struggle, and you screamed as she fired a shot at Abby. 

It missed and Abby shot back, also missing.

The girl took off through the doors in the same direction she’d come from.

“Come on!” Abby said to you, running after Ellie.

On the other side of the doors was an even bigger room, filled with rows and rows and plush red seats, leading up to a giant stage. Ellie, already nearly to the stage, continued to fire in your direction, barely missing every time. 

You and Abby ducked down behind the back row of chairs, and her eyes met yours, both of you breathing heavily.

“Stay here,” she said, peeking over the chairs to locate the other girl. “Watch the exits. Don’t let her leave.”

You nodded, hanging back as gunshots continued to go off from the far end of the room.

Abby paused for just a beat longer before starting down the aisle, staying low but moving quickly. 

“Don’t you fucking run!” she shouted to Ellie, who you could now see on the stage. She had the advantage of higher ground and a familiarity with the building.

Please don’t die Please don’t die Please don’t fucking die, you pleaded over and over and over, as Abby made her way to the stage and out of sight behind the big red curtains that Ellie had disappeared into.

They were far away now, but you could still hear the struggle, followed by more gunshots and then more struggling. 

You held your breath.

But for once you did what Abby asked you to do. You stayed put.

Until several minutes later, when another woman – one you hadn’t seen before – ran out onto the stage, looking around frantically before dashing back behind the curtains, not seeing you from where you still crouched behind the last row of seats.

And now Abby was outnumbered back there.

A split second decision and you were up, running down the aisle after them. 

Behind the stage was a darker space, cluttered with junk from floor to ceiling. You moved carefully and quietly, heading towards the commotion.

When you came to a hole in the ground, you realized that the fight was now down below.

God, did they fall through the floor?

You quickly climbed down and dropped into the basement.

Just as your feet touched the floor, you heard someone scream. You ran, finding Abby down with the unknown girl above her swinging a knife.

You fired an arrow through her shoulder, and she fell to the side. And then Abby was on her, bashing the girl’s head into the floor.

You looked away, your eyes landing on Ellie, flat on her back on the ground nearby, conscious but unmoving, her face covered in blood. 

“Stop,” Ellie forced through dripping red lips as the other girl’s head hit the floor a second and third time. “Stop!” Ellie couldn’t even turn her head to properly look at what was happening to her friend. “She had nothing to do with this.”

Abby grabbed the girl’s knife from where she’d dropped it on the floor, grabbed her by the hair, and flipped her onto her back, holding the knife against her throat.

“She’s pregnant,” Ellie choked out.

Abby let out a few heaving breaths before pressing the knife closer. “Good,” she seethed.

“Abby!” you called out. 

She stopped, eyes softening as they met yours across the room. She watched you, read the plea in your eyes, and the fight seemed to seep out of her in an instant. 

She dropped the knife, pushed the girl to the side, and slowly got to her feet.

Ellie coughed, choking on her own blood as Abby stood over her, their gazes locked.

“Don’t ever let me see you again,” Abby said. A firm command. A sincere warning.

And then she walked away, passing you without making eye contact.

“Come on,” she muttered. 

You followed her out of the theater.

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Abby didn’t know where the hell she was going.

She had been walking through empty streets, blinking past the pouring rain, for who knows how long before it even occurred to her that she didn’t have a destination.

The thought of going back to the aquarium right now, of facing what was waiting for her there, made her sick.

Her body felt heavy. Everything hurt. It had been a long time since she’d gotten anywhere close to as fucked up as she was now.

That girl – Ellie – bit her. Hard. Like a fuckin’ rabid dog. And then Abby had hit her lower back on the corner of something hard when she fell through the floor and into the basement. She took some punches, got a knife buried in her left thigh, and that other girl got a few cuts in with her own blade before you shot her with an arrow.

And that didn’t even take into consideration everything else she’d been through today. The marina and the island and the aquarium.

It was… a lot.

She couldn’t really take stock of the total physical damage while she was busy trudging along down dark streets, but she knew that everything hurt. And she was definitely bleeding. And her body felt too hot but also too cold. And she was so tired. 

Shit, this wasn’t good.

Abby was aware of your presence behind her. She could hear you. But you hadn’t spoken at all, and she hadn’t looked at you once since you left the theater.

She needed to put some more distance between you and that place (and what happened there) before she could bear to do that, hoping that the further it was behind you, the further it would be from your mind.

But that’s not realistic. There was no way you would forget what you just saw.

She needed to know if you were scared of her now, if you didn’t trust her anymore. She saw the look in your eyes when you stopped her from killing that girl. You were horrified. 

You must think she’s a monster. 

She stumbled, her bleeding left leg becoming harder and harder to maneuver.

Here you were – this perfect, beautiful thing that came out of nowhere – and she had to ruin it with another revenge plot that ultimately accomplished nothing except to make the people close to her look at her differently, regard her more cautiously, whisper about her when she’s not around.

Did you see the look in her eyes when she beat Joel to death with that golf club? Brutal. What’s wrong with her? What kind of person could even do that? 

God, her life was turning into one sick, cyclical joke.

But you were literally the only person she had left, so she refused to turn around. Because if you still had that same look in your eyes the next time she saw you, it might break her. And she wasn’t ready to face that.

Abby stumbled again, this time more noticeably. She was able to right herself, but it took her longer to recover this time.

She was losing steam.

“Abby?” Your voice was as soft as the steadying fingers she felt on her shoulder as you walked around to face her. She kept her head down, still not wanting to meet your eyes. “Abby,” you said again when she didn’t acknowledge you, and then you were holding her face with both hands, cold fingers against her warm cheeks. You gently lifted her face until she had no choice but to look at you. 

She thought she might be crying, but she wasn’t sure for how long. 

Your eyes were wide, but not with fear or apprehension like she’d feared, not like you looked in the basement of the theater. You were worried about her. 

“We can’t keep going on like this,” you said. One of your thumbs was lightly, soothingly, grazing her cheek as you carefully studied her face. “You’re hurt.”

Her whole body shook with a sob, but you didn’t shy away. If anything, you pressed closer. 

Despite everything, she felt stupid for crying. She wanted to argue with you, wanted to be strong. She could keep going.

But you were looking at her like you cared, like maybe she hadn’t ruined everything like she thought. And she wanted you to stay close. To keep touching her.

“Come on,” you said, tilting your head towards the nearest building. A house. “Let’s at least get out of the rain.”

Abby nodded as your hands fell away from her face to pull your bow from where it rested over your shoulder and notch an arrow, and she was glad at least one of you had the wherewithal to be cautious of an abandoned building. If she had an ounce more energy, she’d be horrified to realize that neither of you had a weapon out until now. 

The front door was mostly intact and slightly ajar. You approached carefully, painstakingly forcing it further open with your shoulder, fighting against rusted hinges and warped wood. The floorboards creaked beneath your boots as you stepped inside, quickly scanning the entryway for anything or anyone that posed a threat. Abby followed behind you, trying not to visibly limp on her injured leg.

“You need to sit down,” you said over your shoulder, just loud enough to be heard over the pouring rain outside. Under any other circumstances, she’d insist on making sure the building was clear first herself, but she wasn’t confident in her current ability to even make it all the way inside, much less up and down the stairs. 

With your bow still drawn, you led the way through the first floor of the building, passing a bathroom and a kitchen before arriving in what was once the living room. The room was filled with furniture in various levels of destruction and decay, somehow the most well-preserved among them being an old couch pressed against the back wall.

You pointed to it. “Sit,” you instructed. She moved toward the couch without protest and sat in the left-most corner, albeit very slowly. You set your bow down, leaning it up against the wall by the couch, and shrugged off a backpack you brought from the aquarium, digging around in the main compartment until you found what you were looking for.

You pulled out a small battery-powered lantern and your dagger. “I’m going to check the rest of the house, okay? I’ll be back. Don’t move.”

Abby let out a scoff, immediately followed by a pained hiss. “I couldn’t go anywhere if I wanted to,” she said. It would’ve sounded more cool and casual if she hadn’t had to say it through gritted teeth. And if she hadn’t been crying in the rain in the middle of the street two minutes ago. 

Just the thought of it made her cringe. It felt weird being the one who needed help, the one being taken care of. She really didn’t like feeling weak. But she was glad to be sitting down, glad to be near you, and glad you still seemed to want to be near her. 

Your face held that same hesitant, worried look long enough that she forced a small smile and attempted to reassure you with, “I’m fine. Go.”

She was lying and she could tell that you knew that, but you didn’t have much of a choice. You turned to go quickly search the house.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The second floor was clear of any discernible threats but also of anything that would be useful in helping Abby. On your way back to the living room, you rummaged through the downstairs bathroom and a couple of mostly empty closets in the hopes of finding something. Medical supplies. Even clean cloths.

You found nothing there and moved on to your last hope, the kitchen. This room was even more ransacked than the rest of the house, so it wasn’t a surprise when you didn’t find what you were looking for.

You groaned loudly and dramatically, clasping your hands together on the back of your neck and casting your gaze upward in frustration.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Abby quickly asked from the other room, sounding ready to jump up off the couch and rush to your rescue even in her current condition. It made you smile, just a little, until you remembered that this was no time to be smiling.

“It’s nothing. The house is clear. I was just looking for some medical supplies.”

“Who needs medical supplies?” she asked, surprising you with an attempt at a joke. Either that or she was so out of it that she was starting to lose touch with reality.

“You do, Abby,” you said. “You need medical supplies. Urgently.” 

You were still staring up like the answer would be written up there somewhere if you just looked hard enough, when something in the space between the one of the top cabinets and the ceiling caught your eye. If you weren’t mistaken, it looked like the corner of a first aid kit, similar to the one Abby brought back from the hospital for Yara.

It was too high for you to reach standing, and there was nothing for you to stand on top of. The countertops were broken, the pieces scattered across the room, and the wood of the lower cabinets was rickety and unstable at best.

You were grumbling under your breath about high ceilings and unnaturally tall cabinets as you reentered the living room to find Abby almost exactly where you left her, left leg now up on the couch and elevated, right foot still planted on the floor. Both of her hands were hovering over the gash in her thigh like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to touch it or not, her face tense. She was in a lot of pain.

You pulled your eyes away and looked for something sturdy enough for you to stand on, eventually deciding on a mostly intact, only slightly wobbly small metal table. You dropped the lantern on top and started pulling it toward the kitchen.

“Do you really think now is the best time to rearrange the furniture, princess?” Abby asked, glancing at you in her periphery. She was joking again, and you knew that, but you couldn’t help the warmth that pooled in your cheeks at her use of that pet-name. But maybe humor and casual flirtation were just how she coped with pain. 

“I–” You cleared your throat, “I need something to stand on. I think I found something in the kitchen.”

“Aww, can’t reach the top shelf by yourself?” Abby asked, amused. She turned her attention from her leg to watch as you struggled to drag the table out of the room. It squeaked along the floor the entire way, making her laugh softly.

The fact that she was being playful with you started to ease your lingering panic about the state of her health. If she was cracking jokes, she couldn’t be that close to dying, right? A little rest and she’d probably be just fine.

“Crazy how you’ve lost like half your blood supply and yet you still have enough energy to tease me,” you said, your own teeth gritted now. The table was much heavier than you anticipated. “And for your information, the thing that I’m trying to get is not on the top shelf. It is above the top shelf. On top of the cabinet.”

“Uh huh. Sure… Take your time. I’m just over here casually bleeding out.”

You liked this. 

Was it weird to like this? 

It was nice when you just got to talk, when the world wasn’t actively burning to the ground around you, when things felt easy and wonderful and comfortable between you two. You’d seen glimpses of it over the last few days, had fallen into pockets of space where time seemed to stop and you got to feel happy. And hopeful. But those moments were few and far between and always over too soon. Selfishly, you wanted more of it. You wanted more time. More of Abby.

You were scared to hope for it, scared to want something so strongly. Your wishes had never come true before.

“Well,” you responded, finding your words, “I’m no doctor. But I’m pretty sure that if the knife had hit any major arteries, you would’ve bled out a long time ago. So you’ll be fine for another minute. Probably.” With one final shove, you managed to get the table where you needed it.

You carefully stepped up on it, hoping that some sadistic asshole hadn’t thrown an empty first aid kit all the way up here just to waste the time and energy of some poor desperate fool in need of medical supplies. (You, of course, being that poor desperate fool.)

After brushing off a thick layer of dust, you grabbed the handle. The kit was full.

“Yes!” you shouted, nearly tumbling off the table in your excitement. With the medical supplies and the lantern in hand, you rushed back to the living room.

Abby could tease you all she wanted and try to make light of the situation, but she couldn’t hide the look of relief that washed over her features when she saw what you were carrying.

And if you were paying closer attention to her face, she also wouldn’t have been able to hide the way her eyes went wide and her cheeks got visibly pink when you got on your knees on the floor in front of her.

“Uhhh hey, you can—you can sit on the couch.”

You raised your eyebrows, confused by her sudden nervousness. “No, the angle will be better this way,” you insisted. “Just bring your leg over here. That’s the worst of your injuries, right?” 

“I don’t know. Probably,” she conceded, avoiding eye contact as you helped her maneuver her injured leg so that her foot was back on the floor, practically between your knees.

There was already a tear in her pant leg where the gash was. So to avoid having Abby stand up and take her pants off or cutting all the way around at mid-thigh, leaving her with half a pair of pants for the foreseeable future, you opted to just rip the fabric a little more on either side of the tear, making it just wide enough to clean and stitch if necessary.

But it didn’t occur to you to fill Abby in on this plan before you did it. You took the already-ripped fabric of her pants in your hands and tore. And when she gasped in response, there was twisting heat in your gut that seems to be a recurring side effect of being close to Abby. You chose to ignore it in favor of focusing on the more urgent (and honestly less daunting and less complicated) task at hand.

“Sorry!” Your eyes darted up to her face. “Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head quickly. “No, just… wasn’t expecting that.”

You didn’t know what to say, so you dug around in the first aid kit and started cleaning the wound. Abby was quiet as you worked, wincing slightly but remaining still.

The cut was deep, but as you expected it missed the femoral artery. You would have to stitch it up, though, and you told Abby as such. She nodded and watched you carefully as you quickly prepared, hoping to get this part over with as quickly as possible.

You moved even closer to her. Abby’s shin gently pressed against your front as you leaned over her knee, bringing your face closer, your movements precise and intentional.

She brought her hands down on either side of her legs, bracing herself. Her shoulders tensed, arms engaged. You allowed yourself one glance before tearing your eyes away, feeling guilty for ogling. 

Focus. 

You looked back down at her thigh and began.

As you worked, a strand of your hair fell from where you had tucked it behind your ear and into your face. You let out a light, annoyed huff. Before you could attempt to blow the strand out of your eyeline, Abby’s fingers gently brushed it back behind your ear. You felt yourself blush deeply, saying a quiet thank you before going back to sewing her up.

When the last stitch was done and you’d carefully wrapped the wound, you felt Abby’s fingers run through your hair again, this time for no other reason but to draw your eyes up to meet hers.

“Come up here,” she said, her voice low. You stood, bringing the first aid kit with you, and felt the springs in the cushions creak beneath you as you sat on the couch, facing her and closer than was probably necessary. 

You felt jittery, and it suddenly occurred to you that you’d never been this alone with Abby before. There had always been someone else close by, somewhere in the same building or around the next corner. But now it really was just the two of you. It was scary in an incredible, thrilling way that you weren’t accustomed to.

But Abby was injured and you were both tired and today had easily been the longest – and the worst – day of your life, even if you still weren’t letting yourself think about what happened.

No. You’d rather focus on Abby. On what she needed. 

You started searching her body, analyzing the rest of her wounds. Abby sat still under your careful ministrations, watching your face with a soft look in her eyes as you took stock of the damage. You found several cuts of varying depths across her arms along with the one under her eye. And there was something else on her right arm, below the elbow. You took her wrist in your hand, turning that arm towards the soft glow of the lantern.

“Did she bite you?” you asked, nose scrunching up in distaste.

“Oh,” Abby winced. “Yeah.”

“Ouch,” you said simply, and she laughed a little as you grabbed some more supplies from the kit. You began gently wiping away the blood surrounding her remaining injuries, cleaning all of the wounds and stitching up the deeper of the cuts. You saved the cut on her cheek for last.

It was clear to you now that things weren’t quite as detrimental as you had feared. With everything else taken care of, her face was the last thing that required your attention. The rain had done a poor job of washing away all the blood, but it seemed that much less of that blood had come from Abby than you had anticipated anyway.

“I can do that,” she said in a whisper when you went to clean her face.

“I know,” you replied, just as quiet. “I want to.”

A few moments went by in silence as you worked gently but diligently, eyebrows drawn together in concentration.

“I’m sorry about tonight,” she said suddenly, quickly clarifying, “Not sorry that I did it, but sorry that you had to… see me that way.” Her eyes were downcast, and you wanted to hold her face and make her look at you again the same way you did in the street, but you refrained. You put your hands in your lap and drew back a bit, giving her space.

If you were being honest, the Abby you saw in the theater scared you. That Abby beat a person so thoroughly that they couldn’t move, couldn’t even turn their head to stop from choking on their own blood. That Abby would knowingly slit the throat of an unconscious pregnant woman without batting an eye.

Of course, you had known that she was physically strong. You saw her kill swiftly and without hesitation to protect herself and those close to her. But this was different, right? It was excessive violence. 

There was a lot you didn’t know about those people in the theater; that much was clear. They had been hunting Abby for days, killing her friends and seemingly anything else in their path.

They killed Owen and Mel and… and everyone else in those little pictures still tucked in your pocket.

You weren’t sure of the exact history between Owen and Abby, but you did know how important he was to her. And you had seen her reaction when she found him dead.

Who’s to say Ellie would’ve ever stopped coming after Abby and the people close to her? Who’s to say she would even stop now?

So could you really judge Abby for her actions, given how much you didn’t know?

This world is great at breeding darkness, planting it in you from the moment you’re born, growing and spreading both inside your being and out. Everyone has darkness. Tonight you caught your first glimpse of Abby’s. 

She had gotten scary, but that didn’t make her a monster.

And she pulled back. She stopped. That meant a lot. 

You trusted her. And you trusted yourself. You were sheltered, but you weren’t stupid.

Abby was a good person, and she was in your life for a reason, so you weren’t going anywhere.

You knew it was weighing on her, though. Not just everything that happened today, but the fear that what happened could have a lasting effect on this thing between the two of you.

So you shook your head. “Don’t apologize. I’m glad I was there. You shouldn’t have had to do that alone.” She nodded, but seemed unconvinced that you didn’t have anything else to say on the matter.

Part of you wanted to ask for the history now. How she knew Ellie. Why she wanted her dead. But you didn’t need that from her right now. 

Instead, you took another swipe at her face, wiping away the last of the blood. When you were finished, you pulled your hand away. The cut there might form a scar, but you weren’t brave enough to attempt stitches. Not on her lovely face, so close to her eye.

Now that Abby was about as fixed up as she was going to get, you turned your attention to the blood on your own hands. 

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Abby watched as you meticulously scrubbed at your fingers.

When you finished with that, you put everything back into the first aid kit and put the kit in your backpack. Then you made a pile of all the trash that had accumulated. Then you sat back down and immediately stood back up. You shrugged off your jacket – Well, her jacket. (You hadn’t taken it off since Abby gave it to you on the boat, and she didn’t want you to. It looked better on you anyway.) You draped it over the other end of the couch, and then you sat down again. 

You were so restless it almost made her wish she had sustained more injuries, just to give you something productive to do with your hands.

When you started to stand again moments later, saying something about needing to move that little table back where you found it, Abby stopped you with a hand encircling your wrist.

“Hey. Stop. Just sit. You need to rest,” she said, pulling you back down on the couch.

“I’m fine,” you insisted but stayed put. “You’re the one who needs rest after everything you’ve been through today. You should try to get some sleep.”

“Everything I’ve been through?” she asked. “What about you?” When you didn’t react, she said your name. You cut her off before she could say anything else.

“You got hurt,” you said, almost exasperated, motioning to her entire body as evidence.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Abby said.

“I’m fine,” you said again, colder this time.

“No, you’re not.”

“Abby–”

“You’re not fine! You’re just pretending like it didn’t happen.” 

“Don’t,” you said, looking away now.

She knew she was pushing, maybe even too far, but she promised herself she’d snap you out of this if you didn’t do it yourself.

“You didn’t even look at her body. You haven’t reacted at all–”

“Abby, stop,” you begged in a breathy exhale. 

And she did, but only because at that moment you closed the short distance between you and pressed your lips to hers. 

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You were hesitant at first.

You’d never kissed anyone before.

You hadn’t even meant to kiss Abby. 

You wanted to – had been wanting to for some time – but it wasn’t a conscious decision you made in that moment.

You just needed her to stop talking. 

So you kissed her, surprising both of you.

Just a soft brush of your lips against hers, a hand on one side of her face, holding her still, keeping her where you wanted her. By the time she responded to your touch, you were already pulling away. 

A thrill shot down your spine and spread throughout your body. You wanted more, but you didn’t know if it was yours to take. 

You weren’t sure Abby wanted you the way you wanted her.

You studied her face, watched as her eyes went from being wide-blown and shocked to something that looked like hunger. A neediness that matched your own.

She was looking at your lips, so you grabbed her face with both hands this time and pulled her in, kissing her again.

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Abby’s heart beat against her chest as her hand found your waist. She gripped you there, pulling you even closer.

If the first kiss had been testing the waters, this was diving in head first.

It had never felt like this for her before. Touches that she had only ever pulled away from in the past, she heavily leaned into now, seeking more, needing it in a way she wasn’t used to. 

She knew you were just distracting her, that you only wanted to get her to stop talking about Lev and Yara, the island and the aquarium. She knew that you probably wouldn’t even be doing this if she hadn’t pushed you to talk.

But then you deepened the kiss and suddenly she didn’t know much of anything. Except that she didn’t ever want you to stop.

God, you still. weren’t. close enough.

She pulled you towards her, and you went willingly where her hands guided you until she had you on her lap, your knees straddling her legs on either side.

You stopped, pulling away from the kiss and whispering through heaving breaths, “Abby, your leg-”

“ ‘M fine,” she mumbled, already pulling your face back down to meet hers. The soft moan you let out as your lips met made her crazy. Her hands moved from your face, tracing their way down before landing on your hips.

She wanted to slow down, take her time with you. She wanted to strip off all of your clothes, push you on your back, pin you beneath her, and explore. She wanted to hear every sound you could make and learn exactly where to touch – how to touch – to make you come undone. 

Abby pushed her hands up under your shirt, fingers sliding along your lower back and up your sides. You gasped, leaning into the touch.

But then you pulled away entirely.

----------------------------------------------------------------

You promised. The thought cut through the fevered haze in your mind, sending a shock through your system. 

You promised Yara that you would bring Lev back safe. You said you wouldn’t let anything happen to him.

You told Lev that everything would be okay. You told him you’d get off that island together.

The full weight of it hit you like a tidal wave, so hard you thought it might’ve actually bruised your body and broken your bones. It knocked the air from your lungs.

Your friends were gone. It was your job to take care of them, and now they were dead. You did everything wrong today, made every mistake, and it cost them their lives. 

Somehow, you had gone from Abby’s lap to the other end of the couch, pressing yourself as deep into the corner as you could as you pulled your knees up. Your trembling hands pressed against your chest as you shook with the first of the sobs.

Abby moved and then she was on her knees on the floor right in front of you.

You thought she might be talking to you, but you couldn’t hear anything over the sound of the ringing in your ears.

It felt like something was pressing down on your chest. You couldn’t breathe. You kept trying but your lungs wouldn’t fill. 

Lev. Yara.

Images of one on the dirty ground and one on the hard floor. Both of them laying in a puddle of their own blood. And both of them left there by you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to make them go away. But they were still there behind your eyelids. 

Still dead. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

You were having a panic attack, the worst one she’d ever seen, and nothing Abby did was helping.

She kept trying to get you to look at her, to breathe, but it was like you couldn’t hear her. Your chest continued to rise and fall jaggedly. 

She wasn’t sure if she should touch you – Were you supposed to touch people who were in the middle of a panic attack? – But she did anyway. With a gentle hand, she pushed your hair out of your eyes and held your chin, turning your face to look at her.

Your eyes widened like you hadn’t realized she was there, like you were seeing her for the first time.

Good. Now that you could see her, maybe you could hear her too.

She held your gazes as she spoke softly. “Baby, you need to breathe. Copy me.” She modeled a deep, slow inhale, followed by a slow exhale. It was shaky and not nearly as strong, but you tried. “Good girl. Again.”

You continued like that for several minutes until you were able to follow Abby’s breathing patterns exactly. The tears didn’t stop, but the heaving sobs had calmed to occasion hiccupping whimpers. 

Abby’s fingers ran through your hair, pushing it behind your ear. You still hadn’t said anything, and she didn’t think you would tonight. 

“Can you lay down for me?” she asked, voice low. You nodded  and began to shift out of your curled position, slowly stretching out your legs. Abby stood to grab the jacket from behind you on the couch and waited for you to lay down before she spread it out over you, covering you up as much as possible. Then she sat on the floor in front of you, turned so that her side was pressed up against the couch.

You were blinking more slowly now, exhausted from… everything. 

When you started crying again, she put her hand back on your head, letting her fingers run through your hair and scratch at your scalp in a way that she hoped was soothing. (At least she knew it would’ve been for her.)

“I know,” she said, leaning her head against the arm of the couch. “I’m so sorry.”

She stayed like that for a while, even after your breathing slowed and evened out and she was sure you had fallen asleep. She felt a tightness in her chest every time you sniffled. 

Abby had already decided to stay awake and keep watch. 

Her eyes scanned the room until they landed on your backpack. She got up, grabbed the pistol from inside the bag, and returned to her spot in front of the couch.

She watched the doors and windows, listened closely for any sounds of danger, but her eyes kept drifting back to you.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @h0meb0dyi @strawbeffys @sapphicontherun @lmaoo-spiderman @stickynachomaker @4-atsu @00ops1e @absoluteshitshow

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Supe!Y/N x Non Supe! John

Even though Y/N is the one with powers, John still has to kill spiders and other insects.

Y/N walked through the door exhausted from Vought and it’s bullshit. Playing both sides was hard and it took a toll on her. John gave her a soft smile and she yawned and collapsed in his arms. “How’s my hero?” He asked and she groaned. “Tired of bullshit.” She mumbled in his neck. “How about I run you a hot bath?” He asked. He felt her nod and stood up. She looked tired and her hair was messy. “I’ll meet you in there.” She said walking to the bedroom. Before she could even make it through the door she saw the spider crawling on the wall in front of her right by their bed. “John.” She yelled now wide awake. “Yeah?” “Come here.” She heard him walk to her and she pointed to the creature that was now above their bed. He chuckled and walked to the kitchen to grab a paper towel. He walked back and noticed his wife’s eyes following the creature. He chuckled and stood on their bed to get it. “Ya know for a Supe you are pretty scared of spiders but not bad guys?” “My powers don’t eliminate my fears babe.” She said and began to strip down as he threw the paper towel away. 

Though Y/N is a supe John still gets worried and wants to help her and the boys 

They walked through the door of the flat that the boys had. Billy looked up and saw the two. “Are you allowing him to take compound V?” Billy asked her with a smirk. “Nope and the answer will never change.” Y/N told him as they sat down. “How’s he gonna be useful today then?” “Well I’m not exactly sure but we can figure out something.” “He can’t exactly go on missions luv. He’s your husband.” “Technically Billy that’s not true.” Y/N said. “Hes with me and he’s aloud in my office that has a Vought monitored computer.” She winked. John looked at her confused, “wait I’m here for moral support and so you don’t get hurt.” He told het not wanting to go on a mission without V. “Well babe you can protect me but going on my computer.” She told him. Billy chuckled and the man’s reaction. “Oh come on now give him some V.” “No.” Y/N said and stood up. “He’s fine without it.” “But he’d be better with it.” 

Billy once snuck John some V and Y/N wasn’t happy about it.

“She’s going to kill me, us when she finds out.” John told Billy as he injected him. “She’ll get over it.” Billy says but John knew his wife. When John took V he had laser eyes and could fly like his wife. “I can’t even hide it.” He said. John didn’t have complete control over the powers. “Yeah well ya don’t have to.” Y/N walked in and saw the two men. They froze as they saw her and hoped she couldn’t tell that he took some. Luckily she didn’t and greeted them as such. As they were going over the plan John kept shaking. Y/N looked at him worried as his body was begging for a release of power. “You okay?” She asked, placing a hand on his arm. He was practically vibrating. “Why the fuck are you vibrating?” She asked. He gave her a nervous smile and her face dropped. She looked over at Billy, “are you fucking serious?” She asked with a growl. Billy smirked at her, “What’s wrong?” He asked like he had no idea. “YOU GAVE MY HUSBAND COMPOUND V AFTER I TOLD YOU NOT TO.” She yelled at him. “He could be more useful.” Billy argued. “HE DOESN’T NEED TO BE. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HIM?” She asked. “He’ll be fine.” “Babe-“ “Yeah and you know this how?” She asked. “Babe please, I need to use my powers.” She looked at him and sighed. “Okay let’s go outside. I really want you to use them on Billy but we need him alive.” “Ay.” She ignored him and took John outside. 

As John was lasering stuff she let out a dramatic sigh. He looked at her, “are you okay?” He asked walking up to her. She looked up at him, “Babe I don’t want you on that stuff. It’s not safe.” She tells him. He cups her face and smiles, “You worry too much.” He says. “Well someone has to.” She says and he chuckles. “I love you baby and I promise you this will be the last time.” He says. “It better be John.” 

Author’s Note: Taking Request for The Boys!!!

[scarefox]

me @ the (so far just few) "but what about MichaelTopten / PopLee?!?!" crowd

My siblings in hell didn't you notice that Change2561 isn't that closed with their actor ships? We got so far besides the main ships: Ping x Garfield, Nut x Pavel, Nut x Pop, Nut x Lee, Pop x Lookmhee + some more het constellations in other dramas! They are not that strictly bound to just one acting partner. If Nut can literally have 3-5 within 2 series, the other actors can have more as well. That does not mean that their other projects get canceled, their ships get divorced or actor replaced in coming series.

I really hope Change2561 pulls through and ignores the whiny toxic crowd and just gives all the actors who want it different partners, without further public justification. You can still support Michael and Topten in their other projects, while also support Pop and Topten in their new project. You can totally decide that on your own and you don't have to chose between just one. It's possible and great, I promise.

[callmelola111]

K.O. ♡ e.w. oneshot

 ✄ - - - -   inspo track   - - - -   bull believer- wednesday

synopsis: as hours, minutes, and seconds count down till the new year, secrets are revealed and trust is broken. who knew the downfall of your life could be so freeing—and that a total stranger would be the one to catch you.

      | 𓆣 | pairing & wc: ellie williams x reader. wc: 4.8k

      | ❀ | cw: 18+ themes (MDNI), modern au, reader is in a toxic relationship with a man (sexuality isn’t mentioned in huge detail so feel free to hc however you like—they could be bi, pan or just a lesbian with very real comp het), coming out scene (refers to self as “gay”), heavy swearing, descriptions of intense violence + gore, cheating (bf on reader), underage drinking + use of marjuana (18), reader is called a slur (dyke)

a/n: hi hellooo, long time no see! **first, a quick disclaimer: this isn't realistic, there is a complete lack of morals and an unethical/dangerous amount of violence that i wouldn't condone irl. but alas this is fan fiction based off a M rated game whose whole basis is violence, sooo plz keep that in mind when reading.** anywaysss... i’ve been obsessed with this song for months now and it sparked a little oneshot idea so here it is. not exactly my usual stuff, more of a passion project as i process my hatred for men as a lesbian who used to date them. soooo i guess this one goes out to my small town comp het girlies who love ellie williams. thanks for all the support!! ♡~ lola

In the south it never really felt like a true winter. All the holidays that came along with it never felt real either. Christmas was dull and New Years was even worse. After spending the last 18 years of your life in a small hick town, it felt like no use to wish for some “better future”. You were damned from the start. Sure it was a new year, but it was the same old shit and you knew nothing was gonna change until you got out of this hell hole.

Just 6 more months of pretending, you’d tell yourself. 6 more months of bending over backwards to please your overbearing parents. 6 more months of mediocre sex with your shitty boyfriend that you weren’t even sure you liked. 6 more months of artificial conversations with your estranged friend group from middle school who claim to “not get you” anymore. But at this point, as every little thing ate away at you, you weren’t sure if you could keep up your act for much longer. Especially tonight, where you’d be faced with the challenge of appeasing all 3. 

December 31st, 9:00pm:

Adorned in a matching set of mint green pjs you sat patiently on your bed waiting for the go-ahead. Like clockwork, your parents gave a small knock and pushed open your door from its cracked position. It always annoyed you how they knocked, pretending to respect your privacy while simultaneously enforcing a “no closed doors” rule. You thought at 18 they would’ve let it go, but no. 

“Well hun, me and your mother are heading out now. We don’t expect to be back till the morning… Ya know, just to be safe while taking part in all the ‘festivities’.” Your dad chuckled, throwing up some air quotes. Your mom stood deadpan waiting for him to wrap up his little bit before butting in.

“No plans for the evening, right?” She phrased her words like a question but you knew this was just her way of subtleing enforcing the stupid rules you’ve followed your whole life.

“Of course not momma. Probably just gonna watch Gilmore Girls reruns and then go to sleep before any fireworks start up.” You gestured to your pjs but your perfectly made bed said otherwise. See, you knew this little routine like the back of your hand. You knew just what to do and just what to say in order to lure your parents into a false sense of security. While they stood in the frame of your door wishing you a goodnight, your party clothes hung on the other side of it, just out of their view.

December 31st, 9:30pm:

A loud honking blared from just outside your bedroom window. You ushered the sheer curtains open and glared out at the little sedan sputtering in your driveway. Your hands ran down your face followed by a big sigh. It’s not like you didn’t know your boyfriend Jax was coming to pick you up for the new years party that night, you had planned it just days before. But unbeknownst to him, the only reason you reached out was because you didn’t have a ride and tonight was one of the few times your parents wouldn’t be around to police curfew. 

You climbed into the passenger seat already cringing at the unidentifiable smell and litters of trash covering the floor. Forcing a smile to your face you greet the grimey boy sitting at the wheel with a wave.

“Come onnnn, not even a kiss? You must be real happy to see me, huh?” You grit your teeth, squeeze both eye’s shut, and lean in for a peck to appease his complaints. 

“Of course I’m happy to see you babe.” This was a lie. Something you had become quite good at these past few years, even lying to yourself at times. The rest of the car ride was silent, leaving you to ponder this drudgery of a relationship. You weren’t quite sure when things shifted or if there was ever an attraction at all, but after a year together and college approaching you just decided to ride it out until the inevitable. And part of you recognized the same in him, so there was never any guilt about it. 

December 31st, 9:45pm:

Alcohol was the first thing on your mind as soon as the car went into park. The door to the house was propped wide open, inviting in teens of the small town. Some top 10 hit boomed from a speaker nested in the main living area, not really your style—at least not sober. You scavenged the kitchen for a clean solo cup to designate as your own and began the journey to drunkenness. Jax followed in suit with a couple bottles of beer. The harsh burn in your throat lingered but the alcohol's effect was already beginning to take off the edge that was your life.

You attempted to initiate some conversation with the man who had brought you here but he was too busy texting to listen. So consumed with the glow of his screen, you couldn’t help but peek to see what was so interesting. As soon as you got a glimpse you wished you had been less nosey. His attention was not being stolen by a dumb Instagram reels, but actually, a long string of texts with a girl whose name you didn’t recognize. Your stomach pinged at his possible infidelity. Partly because he was your boyfriend but mostly because you’d spent months convincing yourself to like him, to stay with him, to be a good girlfriend—and he could care less. All this work and effort on your part was simply discarded with his unloyal behavior. It was all for nothing. But hey, maybe you were just drawing conclusions. It could just be a friend. Right?

December 31st, 10:15pm:

Jax had finally shifted his attention back to you before his screen lit up again causing you to retaliate in irritation. You swiped up the cracked device before he had the chance and began to scroll.

“Can’t you just silence it? What is soooo fucking importan-.” Your voice caught at the sight of flirty messages littering the screen.

“Are-are you fucking cheating on me?” You instantly questioned.

“Bro no! Give me my fucking phone back!”

“Who the fuck are you texting then? ‘Mary Jane’,” you spouted in a mocking tone, “no way is that someone's real name. You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“It’s a joke between me and my cousin. Now would you chill?”

“Your cousin?? You call your cousin baby?? I mean, I knew this town was full of hicks but I didn’t know y’all were those kinds of hicks.” The alcohol was giving you a little too much courage as your taunting waded into dangerous territory.

“The fuck did you just say? Don’t fucking test me! Can’t even handle a couple shots without getting all crazy on me!!”

“Crazy?? I’m being fucking reasonable. Literally any other person would be bothered by this just as much as me.”

“You know what, just fuck off. We can talk when you stop being such a delusional bitch.” He then disappeared into the living room, landing onto the couch, leaving you alone with your anger. 

December 31st, 10:30pm:

You stood idle, bubbling over with emotion, eye’s filling with tears when a wet sensation hit your upper lip. Its flow grew stronger and began to trickle onto your hands where your gaze was locked. Deep red stained your palms- a random nosebleed. It was like a sign from the universe. A sign that you weren’t crazy. In fact, you might be one of the only sane people in this whole damn town. Stuck in your reverie, blood continued to drip on your hands, your shirt, your lips- everywhere. That is until a kind eyed girl slipped you a dish towel to stop the flow. 

“Uh hey, your nose is bleeding.” You snapped your head up finally acknowledging the moment in full.

“Shit thanks, sorry…” Your face went hot realizing how long you had been just standing still, letting the blood fall where it may. The heat doubled, spreading to your ears when you finally acknowledged the person who had witnessed the whole thing. Ellie Williams. You had never formally met but knew of her existence, as she had kind of a reputation around school. There wasn’t anything inherently bad about her (at least in your opinion), she just didn’t fit the mold of most residents in your town. Therefore, she was a target for people's prejudices, especially being the only out lesbian in your senior class. Despite everyone else’s thoughts, you really admired her. You wished you had that type of courage.

“It’s no problem…” the auburn haired girl glanced down deciding what to say next before lifting her gaze back up to you. “Not to be nosey, I know you don’t really know me, but like… are you okay?”

Head tilted back, you gave a nasally reply, “Oh me? Yeah, yeah uh- I’m okay” 

“No offense but uh, you don’t look that okay.” she gestured to your bloody everything.

“Alright so I’m not okay, you got me.” You looked down to your now crimson stained blouse and scrubbed frantically at the chiffon material trying to reprimand the damage.

“Here, here– You can just take my flannel to cover it up, I promise I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?” Before you could say anything else, Ellie was sliding the warm garment over your shoulders and guiding you into the arm holes. It was dark blue, in a faded plaid pattern, and smelled of pine and incense. The girl was now left barren in just her white tank– and all for you.

“Yeah of course.” She then took it a step further, buttoning you up. You watched as her dexterous fingers worked up from the bottom of the shirt to the top, brushing you at each maneuver. A little jab into the plush right under your naval, a swipe past your ribs, and a tap at your collarbones. The quick, unexpected interaction left you completely flustered and you weren’t quite sure why.

“Thank you.” was all you could say. 

“Sooo… do you wanna talk about it?” At this point, Ellie was completely enamored with you from the way you handled yourself with Jax. She had this unusual feeling, a feeling like she needed to protect you. A feeling that you were different from most. Maybe you were even a little like her?

“Honestly, yeah. My friend Samara was supposed to be here tonight but I guess she decided not to show, and I’m starting to wish I didn’t either.”

“Well, if it’s worth anything, I’m glad you’re here. Come on now, follow me.” Ellie led the way to a set of stairs at the edge of the living room. You snaked right past the couch where Jax was drunkenly passed out, mumbling obscenities at his phone. Of course, he paid no mind to you. The idiot was too consumed with himself to even wonder if you were okay.

December 31st, 11:00pm:

You and the sweet girl sat on the rough carpeted step talking about everything under the sun. Ellie was the first person in a really long time who you felt you could be honest with.

“So you think he’s cheating on you?” she questions trying to clarify the few bits of dialogue she heard while watching from afar.

“I know he is. I’m not stupid.”

“I’m sure you’re not.” Ellie put her head down staring at the laces of her dirty converse. You felt so unreadable, making her unsure of how to proceed in the conversation. “So00, how do you feel about it all then?”

“I don’t know, I guess angry.” you answered with a remarkably solemn tone. 

“What about… sad?”

Like second nature, you instantly thought of a less than honest answer until Ellie’s attentive green eyes brought you back to Earth. 

“It feels like… I’m supposed to be sad, but I can’t. In a twisted, confusing way, I’m honestly kinda relieved. So fucking pissed, but relieved.” Ellie’s lids widened, this was an answer she wasn’t expecting at all–but one she was glad to hear.  

“I can’t blame you, he does kinda seem like a piece of shit.”

“And his dick is small too.” you quipped, making Ellie chuckle under her breath.

“Maybe I’m reading into things, but… it seems like you never really liked this guy in the first place.” 

You took a guilty pause before confirming, “Maybe…”

“So why haven’t you broken up with him?” Ellie was genuinely curious. She thought if it was her in the situation she definitely would’ve gotten rid of that Jax guy long, long ago. Who would wanna keep around a douche bag like that?

“Being with Jax felt convenient. He felt like my ticket to ‘normalcy’.” You put your head down in slight shame but continued the explanation. “I got so caught up in my image that I neglected how I actually felt. I was doing everything to please everyone but me.”  Ellie scooted in one inch to the left, now connecting your thighs and bringing in a sense of comfort.

“Trust me, I understand. This town is fucking ruthless.”

“God yeah, the things I’ve heard people say about you are seriously fucked up. I don’t know how you do it.” A beat of silence lingered as Ellie articulated her thoughts.

“I think… community. I mean, obviously most of the people at our school look down on me, but all it takes is one singular person to be right there with you and then things don’t feel so bad. I guess for me, I can’t imagine being anything but myself. Like completely myself.” The girl looked up from the hangnail she was picking at as she spoke and was met with your tear filled eyes. “Fuck, did I say something?”

Your hand shot up to quickly wipe away the floodgates threatening to fall, “No, no. It’s just that you’re right,” you stuttered, choking down another cry, “an-and, I wish I would've realized it sooner because these past 4 years have been like hell. I don’t wanna be the cookie cutter straight girl anymore. I just wanna be me.”

Ellie then placed a gentle hand to your knee and brought her eyes to meet your own, “And what might that be?”

“Gay. Like really fucking gay.” you said through teary-eyed laughs as Ellie joined in with her own hearty chuckle.

“Welcome to the club.” she said, sticking out a strong hand for you to shake. You grasped it tightly as her warm palm guided you up and down, her touch lingering just a little longer than the gesture itself. As you collected yourself you whipped out a small pocket mirror to touch up the smudged mascara littering your undereyes. Ellie admired in silence. She was in pure awe of your resilience, and when you were finished with your clean up, you turned back to realize what had just gone down.

“Fuck, I’m sorry for dumping all that on you considering we just met. It’s weird how things I’ve never even said out loud before can come out so easily around a stranger.”

Ellie nudges you with her shoulder, “I guess I just have that effect, huh?”

“I guess you do.” you sighed, nudging her back.

December 31st, 11:15pm:

The two of you continued your banter until a cold breeze from the back door gave Ellie a brilliant idea.

“Dare I say… you look like you need a blunt?” she said with a mischievous smirk.

“No, please. It's exactly what I need.”

Ellie then reached into the pocket of her baggy jeans, “I guess it’s your lucky day then.” she said, revealing the most perfectly wrapped blunt you’d ever seen.

“You’re actually god sent Ellie. How are we just now meeting?” The auburn-haired girl gave a small laugh before grabbing your hand and leading you to the backyard. As she pushed the white panel door open, every single ounce of weight that had been lifted off from that one singular conversation, all came crashing back down. Ellie and you weren’t the only ones who adventured outside into the brisk night air. Right on the porch stood Jax, accompanied by your “friend” Samara, who up until this point you didn’t even think was coming. The piece of shit was practically sucking her face off before the creaking sound of the back door sent them 5 feet apart.

“I knew it! I fucking knew it!” you yelled, eyes growing dark with rage. Ellie just stood and watched from the corner.

“Babe, please! I swear it’s not what you think!” Jax stumbled forward, attempting to grasp at your figure.

“Don’t you dare try and touch me! You don’t even deserve to look at me. It’s over Jax. I’m done being suffocated by your never ending bullshit!” Knuckles clenched, you continued your lashings, this time at Samara. “I-I thought we were friends. What happened to that?”

“You don’t even like him. You should be thanking me.” she spat. 

“You really don’t get it, huh? This has nothing to do with me liking Jax or not, you completely betrayed our friendship the second you started fucking him behind my back. Friends don’t fuck each other boyfriends Samara!” Before she could even respond Jax was dragging her away, flipping you off on the way inside.

“Ellie-” you squeaked, trembling in shock. 

“Come here, it’s okay love.” she whispered, parting her arms to make a safe space just for you. You collapsed into the warm cavity and relinquished the buckets of tears you had been saving for the moment someone actually gave a fuck. And Ellie did. She never let go of you even for a second as you crumbled under her.

“Jeez I’m sorry.” you said after minutes of pure silence, lifting your head to meet Ellie’s green eyes. 

“For what?”

“For being a drunk mess, crying to you about a man, and also, I think I got a little snot on your shirt.” you tried to laugh it off but you really just wanted to disappear.

Taking your face in her palms Ellie reassured you, “hey, hey no need to be sorry pretty girl. You’ve been through a lot tonight. Besides, I think I look kinda good with this huge ass wet spot in the middle of my tank top. What do you think?” You stepped back and took a look at the damage, and honestly, she was kinda right. With the white cotton material you could see right through to her toned stomach, barely missing the bottom of her breasts. 

“Fine, yes. I’m sure there’s plenty of girls who’d kill to see you in a wet shirt Ellie.”

“Lucky you then.” she said, playfully nudging your shoulder.

You couldn’t help it as the corners of your mouth turned upwards, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“There’s that smile. Soooo… blunt now?”

“Yes. Blunt.”

December 31st, 11:30pm:

And just like that, you were halfway through the chestnut wand of herbs and deep in conversation.  

“So you really haven't seen But I’m a Cheerleader?” Ellie asked, blowing out a puff of smoke with the question and passing it on.

You took the blunt from between her fingers and let it rest between your own, “No. Should I have?” 

“Definitely dude, it’s like queer classic.”

“Oh yeah?” You cocked your head at the freckled faced girl. 

“Yeah. And now that I’m thinking about it, you’re honestly just like the main character.”

“How so?” you asked, taking another long draw. 

“She’s in denial about being gay for like the first 30 minutes of the movie.”

A string of coughs unleashed from your chest as you let out a hefty laugh mid-inhale, “Bitch-”

“What? I’m being so deadass!”

“Fine, what character are you then?” you pry, passing the lit blunt back over to Ellie.

Taking a hit she replies, “I guess I’d be graham.”

“And what does she do?”

“I’m kinda like your awakening in a sense. Graham is all gay and cool, and of course Megan—that's you—totally falls for her.” 

You retrieve the lit cannabis and roll your eyes, “I haven’t fallen for you yet Williams.”

“Yet.” she emphasizes, placing a soft finger to the tip of your nose tauntingly.

“Ha. Ha.” you monotonously mock, “Now here, I think it’s done.” You hand Ellie the roach and she promptly stubs it out into the concrete slab deck.

“Come on, let’s go inside. I’m fucking cold.” she pleas.

“Dude I’m scared. Like I am way too fucked up for this.”

“No, no– I promise you’re fine. I’ll protect you.” 

“Fineee.” you drag out.

December 31st, 11:50pm:

Things were seemingly fine as you and Ellie entered the muggy living area of the packed house once more. Your hesitancy was quite clear though and Ellie could sense you needed just a little reassurance. Your right hand, currently picking away at the hangnail on the thumb of your left, was quickly captured by Ellies own rough hand which led you back to your comfortable spot on the ascending stair set.

As you both took a seat your grip remained tight on the girl, afraid that if you let go you might jump up from your spot right then and there just to give Jax one more lesson. Just the sight of him through the slats of the stairs’ wooden railing—legs casually spread wide and eyes focused in on a casual game of Mortal Kombat—drove you fucking crazy. 

“Dude if you keep staring like that you might actually burn a hole through his dumb ass T-shirt.” Ellie said, nudging your tensed shoulder.

“Good it’s ugly anyways.”

“Fair point.”

“I just have this burning need to get back at him. I wanna beat his ass just like in that game he can’t take his eyes off.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “Very funny, but you wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Oh yeah?” you questioned before laying a soft punch to the girl's forearm. A string of dramatic “Ows” reverberated from her lips. “See, I’m a badass right?”

“Fine you’re a total badass” she agreed begrudgingly, rubbing the soft tissue of her arm where you had left your mark. 

“What? It hurt that bad? You need me to kiss it better?” you taunted. 

“Maybe I do.” she said, longing eyes staring into your own. 

You gulped down any hesitation and felt it drop straight to your nervous stomach, “Where does it hurt?”

Ellie pointed to her arm slowly, “here.”

You placed a soft peck.

Hot breath raising goosebumps to the surface of her skin, “and here”, she gestured to her outstretched neck

Another supple kiss.

“And um-” she continued, but was quickly cut off and brought back to reality with the bellowing sound of a countdown. Too caught up in the moment, you both had almost forgotten about the holiday currently taking place.

FIVE… FOUR… THREE… TWO…

“Can I kiss you?” she blurted frantically, and with no words you dove into her plump, chapped lips. Just like a puzzle piece your bottom lip slotted perfectly between her own. It was a gentle and delicate kiss at first, drinking in the euphoric moment. Quickly though, soft maneuvers of the mouth got quicker and harder. Spit was exchanged with passion and need, as your hands were becoming grabby at the girl's toned figure. The heat growing between your legs was an easy distraction from the fact that you were at a large party, in a hick town, with your ex-boyfriend now hovering over your more than friendly exchange.

January 1st, 12:01am:

“The fuck? You’re a dyke now?” he yells, practically loud enough for the whole party to hear. You and Ellie frantically pull apart, bumping heads in the process.

The calloused hands that were once caressing the small of your back are now balled into tight fists as Ellie rises from her seated position.

“The fuck did you just say?” she questions, tilting her head to the right.

You now stand up with her, worried where this might go, “Jax you need to walk away.”

“Oh shut up slut. You’re so fucking desperate you’d do it with anyone!” 

That one hurt. That was the tipping point. Tears welled in your eyes. 

“I’M NOT A FUCKING SLUT! I’M GAY AND NEVER LIKED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

“You need to leave now before I do something I’ll regret, you dirty bitch.” he threatens. And that's it, Ellie takes a swing aiming straight for his nose. Her fist retracts and reveals his bloody and now crooked cartilage. Through clenched teeth Jax grips onto Ellies white tank, throwing her into the open space of the living room. Just like a car crash, it’s one of those things where a scene can be so disturbing but you just can’t look away. And everyone else in the room was feeling it too—backed into corners, hands over mouths, some men even obnoxiously chanting “fight, fight.” But this isn’t what you wanted. Not at all.

“STOP! YOU NEED TO FUCKING STOP IT!” you screamed desperately. You didn’t even want to imagine what Jax would do to the freckled girl who changed your life in mere hours. But you didn’t have to, because here they were, brawling it out for the whole school. Jax swung at Ellie’s head to which she ducked before jabbing him in the stomach, stealing whatever air was swimming in his lungs. He stumbled backwards 3 steps, coughing through the hit, but this just made him angrier.

He charged back at the flustered girl with more force and gained a grip on a wad of choppy auburn hair. With a forceful yank she came tumbling to the ground with him on top. Ellie wriggled, pushed, and kicked but the sheer weight of the furious man was enough to keep her pinned. Jax began punching left and right, capturing her face with each blow. Thick crimson decorated his knuckles and the entirety of the girl's face. You could barely make out her litter of freckles and the half-lidded slits of emerald green—it was blood, all blood.

But as Jax kept on going, and the room grew quieter, this fight turned into something much more serious. It was inching on life or death and you had to do something. You surveyed the room, eyes dancing from counter to counter until a large glass beer bottle nagged at the tips of your fingers. Grabbing it tightly in your fist, you did what you had to to end this. Glass and gasps scattered through the room. The sharp brown shards littered the floor and evoked a gushing red stream from the back of Jax’s head. He instantly rolled to the side leaving Ellie an opening to escape. You weren’t done yet though, he hadn’t gotten what he deserved yet. Falling to the floor right at his body, hot tears streamed down your face.

Through curses and screams you thrashed at the man's barely conscious frame, “FUCK YOU JAX! FUCK YOU!” This was for every time he made you feel stupid, for making you feel like the ugliest girl in the room, for all the times he kissed you while you just prayed for it to be over, for making your life a living hell. With each scratch, punch, and kick all the pent up anger and resentment drained from your soul. Ellie let you have at him for a bit but as the crowd started to thin she knew the cops would be here any second now.

“Come on! We gotta go hun!” she nagged. 

“NO I CAN’T! NOT YET” you yelled, collapsing down into tears. Ellie promptly scooped you up by your armpits and dragged you from Jax’s limp body.

“I know baby, you're angry, it’s hard. But the cops are coming and we need to leave now.” she said, picking you up completely and carrying you through the frame of the propped open front door. You nestled your head into her bloody top as your chest still rapidly rose up and down, choking on the last few streams of tears and snot. “I’m gonna get you home love, don’t you worry.”

January 1st, 12:15am:

Finally through the small window of Ellie’s red truck you spot your familiar 2 story home. She grips the steering wheel, whipping to the right into the empty driveway. Of course she helps you inside and up to your quaint little bedroom. It felt weird almost—so quiet and still after such a chaotic night—and void of any life but you and the freckled faced girl. It was a cold feeling knowing you’d be all alone in just a few minutes, and tonight, you weren’t sure if that was a feeling you wanted to know.

“Els?”

“Yeah?” she answered softly. 

“Can you stay?”

With a kiss to the head she agreed, “Of course I’ll stay.” The rest of the night was spent cuddled up under your warm comforter, and despite all the events from just hours before, you felt safe. And for once, in fucking years, you were content.

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[uniquexusposts]

Her || Charles

Main characters: Charles Leclerc x OC Genre: fanfiction, fluff  Story type: novel  Part: 26/? Word count: 4989 Co writer: @mistrose23

Story summary: Matilde Jørgensen, the new Scuderia Ferrari team principal, faced the nerve-wracking challenge of reviving the team's fortunes and aiming for a championship. Leading a historic team as a 'newbie' and separating her work and personal opinions posed a significant challenge. The big question: is she capable to do so?

Previous chapter

Chapter 24. Her Driver, His Boss

“Het is regenachtig, koud en wat ben ik toch trots op jullie dat jullie het zo uithouden in de stromende regen, dames, heren, jongens en meisjes. Maar het is eindelijk tijd om een praatje te maken met Max zijn teambaas Christian. Matilde, de teambaas van Ferrari, is er ook bij! Zoals vele van jullie weten heeft Matilde ook voor Red Bull gewerkt en is zij mede verantwoordelijk voor Max zijn eerste wereldtitel. Hebben we toch nog een oranje interview. Mag ik een ontzettend warm applaus voor Christian Horner en Matilde Jørgensen!” the interviewer announced. (TRANSLATION: It's rainy, cold and I'm so proud of you being here in the pouring rain. But it's finally time to have a chat with Max's team boss Christian. Matilde, Ferrari's team boss, is also here! As many know, Matilde also worked for Red Bull and is partly responsible for Max's first world title. We still have some kind of an orange interview. May I give a very warm round of applause to Christian Horner and Matilde Jørgensen!)

Cheers filled the Dutch race track and two people entered the arena stage and they looked around; they were both standing under umbrellas. Christian waved around and Matilde could only look her eyes out.

"Welcome, both of you," the man said. "Thank you for joining us."

"Absolutely, always," Christian replied and gave the man a nod.

Matilde smiled. "Thank you for having us," she responded.

"It is an honour to have you here. What do you think of the Dutch Grand Prix so far?"

"The atmosphere is incredible. I mean, look around: a sea of orange. The Dutch fans are so passionate and it's so fantastic to see them supporting Formula 1, and their favourite driver: Max. There's just so much enthusiasm even in the rain," Christian answered the question. 

The fans cheered once again. The rain didn't bother them, they weren't made of sugar. 

Matilde couldn't stop smiling, it was so beautiful to see the love of these people. She saw it at Spielberg en Spa already, but this was the next level. "It is just amazing to be here, I can't say anything else," she shared her thoughts. "I've never seen this kind of energy before, wow."

"But you have been at Zandvoort before, right?" Christian then asked.

She nodded. "Yes, in 2021, when there were still COVID regulations. I've seen a part of it, but not like this."

The interviewer laughed. "And how is it for the team to be here? Do you feel the extra pressure to perform?" He looked at Christian.

"I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the extra pressure, but it's good to feel the extra pressure, it gives us energy to get out the most of this weekend," Christian said. "We're aiming for the top spot. Max is on home turf, and being able to be here at a historical track is just phenomenal."

The fans were cheering once again.

"Matilde, how are you doing? You missed three races due to a medical situation. How does it feel to be back?"

Slowly, it stopped raining. Matilde closed the umbrella and nodded at the question. She knew it was a routine questionnaire, since everyone was here for Christian and Max. "I'm fine, thanks," she replied and smiled gratefully. "I had my appendix removed during Silverstone and I am fully recovered. It was hard to watch the races from home, so I'm glad to be back - even though I was at Spa to watch the race. I can't wait for what the second half of the season can bring us." She looked around. 

"And how does it feel to compete against your old team? You've switched from Red Bull to Ferrari between seasons, Zandvoort is one of the home races of Red Bull, Max and Charles are fighting for the top spot. Is this race different for you than others?"

Matilde loved how much this man was framing her into the Dutch side. The Dutch would do this so often and easily. Everything that they would do to get a quote about Max. "I will give them Zandvoort, I will get Monza," she joked and looked at Christian. They were both laughing. "Perhaps. Maybe. We will see how it goes. But, err, it's incredible to see Max and Charles, and Carlos, fight. In the beginning, it was weird to be on Ferrari's side after being at Red Bull's side for a few years, but it's a pleasure to work for Ferrari, to work with brilliant people and get the most out of it. It's a privilege and I hope we have more fights in the future."

The interview continued. Matilde and Christian enjoyed the atmosphere, also because they could joke around for a bit. Luckily, the Dutch fans understood the vibes and went along with them.

When the interview came to an end, Matilde and Christian thanked the interviewer and the crowd. The crowd returned some cheers to them, and the pulsating beat of the music from the boxes filled the air again. Matilde and Christian were still standing on the side of the stage, still talking to the interviewer for a moment. Well, Christian did and Matilde was waiting. Some fans could still see them.

A massive smile appeared on Matilde's face. "Tu, tu, tu, tu, Max Verstappen," she sang along, when the song boomed from the boxes. "Tu, tu, tu, tu, Max Verstappen. Tu, tu, tu, tu, Max Verstappen. Tu, tu, tu, tu, Max Verstappen. Tu, tu, tu, tu, Max Verstappen." She listened to the song carefully. "Let's take it to the max, put your hands up, hands up." Her eyes met Christian's, who almost gave her a side eye. Only for that look, she raised her hands up in the air. "Let's go, let's go." When the beat dropped, Matilde jumped and moved along with the rhythm. It was a spontaneous moment filled with joy, carefree expression of excitement and the passion that racing and the incredible Dutch fans had stirred within her.

Everyone witnessed the unexpected spectacle of the Ferrari team principal dancing with enthusiasm to a song of her rival. The crowd cheered and laughed, but still sang along with the song.

Christian couldn't contain his laughter at the sight. It looked like Matilde had the time of her life. He clapped and then jumped along with Matilde for a second. It was a break from the competition, and Christian appreciated the spirited energy Matilde brought to the scene.

* * *

Max Verstappen private: Are you almost there yet?

Matilde privé: Almost! Just getting out of the metro

When she heard the announcer say they've arrived at 'De Pijp' she stood up and waited for the metro to stop. Along with some F1 fans, who just came back from Zandvoort, she stepped out of the metro and took the escalator upstairs. She checked out with her debit card and walked out of the metro station. Luckily for Matilde, the fans didn't seem to recognize her. While walking towards the bar where she was supposed to meet with Max, she looked around and took in the typical architecture of Amsterdam.

After a short walk, she saw the bar and made her way to the entrance. A man stood next to the door and he eyed her up and down. A slightly uncomfortable feeling washed over her and she tried to shake off the feeling. He had a drink in his hand and a cigarette in his other hand.

"Matilde?" he said.

"Yes?" she answered, slightly unsure. She didn't know how to respond correctly.

"Great, come on in," he told her and he laughed. "I just had to make sure that you aren't a fan."

Matilde smiled as well. This man was probably a bouncer that Max had hired to ensure no fans would disturb his night out after the race. She opened the door and stepped into a hallway and after opening the next door, she was welcomed with the music and the chatter from the people inside. Before she had the time to properly look around, a piercing scream filled her ears.

"MATILDE!"

Many people looked at the entrance, to see Matilde looking like she wished the ground would swallow her up. Charles was one of those people who looked at her, the shout by Max' engineer GP pulled him out of his conversation with Pierre Gasly. He recognised his team principal and turned his head back to Pierre to finish his sentence. However, the image of Matilde in a dress, made him forget all the words and he had to look back at her.

There she stood, smiling widely and pointing at GP. She rolled her eyes, took off her blazer and made her way to him. Charles' eyes kept following her. This was the first time he saw her in a dress. The dress hugged her curves perfectly. The light green colour fitted her skin tone and her light coloured hair - which was now in a loose braid which resulted in an exposed neck. She had never looked like this before.

Pierre looked besides Charles and followed his eye sight to see who took Charles' attention. A smirk grew on Pierre's lips when he saw her. He looked back at Charles; a soft look glazed in his eyes. "Hello," Pierre said and punched Charles' shoulder.

"What the fuck," Charles mumbled and he glanced at Pierre.

"Are you going to finish your story or what?" Pierre grinned.

Charles rolled his eyes and punched Pierre back, he tried to remember the conversation they just had, so that he could continue the conversation.

On the other side of the room, Matilde had finally found Max and they were having a gin and tonic together. The whole place was crowded with drivers, colleagues and other people who were important to Max. Matilde had to raise her voice at Max to make herself heard.

"Where did you find all these people?" Matilde asked with a smile on her face.

"Oh, most of them are paid actors," Max casually said and he took a sip of his cocktail.

Matilde shook her head. "Who is the most expansive?"

"You."

"When can I expect the payment?"

"You receive my love; that's enough," he replied. He wrapped his arm around Matilde's neck, bringing her closer to him, and kissed her cheek.

A laugh rolled over her lips and right at that moment, a photo was made of them. Gemma stepped towards the two friends and showed the picture on her phone.

"This is so cute!" Matilde yelled enthusiastically and looked at Max.

The corners of Max' mouth were about to curl up, but he straightened his face on purpose. "I've seen cuter photos of us before," he said and walked away, welcoming the next guest. While he walked away, he looked over his shoulder and smirked at Matilde and Gemma.

Gemma's jaw dropped and looked in disbelief at Matilde.

Matilde squeezed her eyebrows together and looked at Gemma while bursting into laughter. "What a fucking dickhead," she laughed.

"I..." Gemma looked perplexed. Matilde figured out that Gemma already had a few drinks in. "A huge dickhead, jeez man." She put her phone away and hugged Matilde tightly. "Where is your juichcape?"

"My what?"

"Juichcape? That orange cape with a lion on it? That thing you wore today before the race?"

"Ooo, yeah, Ferrari took it from me, party poopers," Matilde playfully smiled.

Gemma frowned. "That is ridiculous. I hope you will get it back and wear it at Monza."

A laugh rolled over Matilde's lips. "We will see."

As the evening progressed, the atmosphere in the bar grew livelier with each passing moment. Matilde found herself caught up in the whirlwind of conversations, laughter and the occasional clinking of glasses. At the beginning, she stayed with the same group; GP, Gemma and Max, who had a pitstop at the group every now and then. Later on, she bumped into familiar faces from the grid, moved through the crowd, exchanged greetings and engaged in light-hearted conversations. For a moment, she had forgotten that she was a team principal; she was just Matilde.

Matilde walked past the bar and kitchen to the toilets. There was peace - as far as possible. The banter was in the distance. Matilde washed her hands and looked in the mirror, the baby hairs around her skin started the curl up, to her annoyance. A sigh left her mouth and she tried to smoothen the hairs, but she realised it wouldn't do anything to her hair since water would only make it worse and without any product it wouldn't do anything. But whatever, she thought, she didn't have to look at it.

Her eyes shot up in the mirror when someone walked behind her. "Oh, hey," she smiled and turned around.

Charles stopped walking and looked over his shoulder. "Hey," he smiled.

"I didn't know you were here," she mentioned.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Small bar, but so many people."

Matilde chuckled and agreed with him. Charles stepped into the men's bathroom. Matilde turned back to the mirror and took a deep breath: 'I didn't know you were here', an enthusiastic move. Disappointedly, she put on some tinted lip balm and was about to go back when Charles stepped out of the bathroom.

"Max surely knows how to throw a party," Charles said and washed his hands. "Is it a party?" He looked at Matilde.

"It's a party, but I get what you mean," she replied. When someone said a party, she would think of a birthday party, but this was a casual party in a local, modern, typical bar in Amsterdam. "I like this bar, it's so typical Amsterdam." They weren't in an old brown bar, but more the modern version of it. If she remembered it correctly, it used to be a brewery.

He nodded and dried his hands. "It is surely different from Monaco," he agreed. "How do they do it in Denmark?"

"Monaco is fancy, huh?" A playful smile played on her lips. Charles rolled his eyes. "Copenhagen has the same vibes, but I like it more there." They walked back to the bar. "Have you ever been to Denmark?"

They were welcomed by a lot of noise again; people who were talking, laughing and some music.

"Do you have something to drink?" Charles asked, almost raising his voice. He didn't wait for an answer. "What do you want?"

Matilde read the menu above the bar. "I will take a Radler." Charles nodded and went to the bar to order a Radler for Matilde and a glass of white wine for himself. "Thanks," she smiled when Charles handed her the beer with lemonade. They moved through the people towards the back of the space.

"Sante," Charles said.

"Skål," Matilde said and clinked her glass against his.

He took a sip. "But I have never been to Denmark. I've been to Finland, though."

A chuckle left her mouth. "Yeah, but that's not Denmark. It's far from Denmark." She took another sip from her beer. "I've never been to Monaco, but I've been to France," she cheekily said and winked.

"But you have bee- oh, come on, Matilde. Don't be ridiculous."

"Don't call out the wrong counties."

Their conversation flowed effortlessly, punctuated by shared jokes and teasing. Even though they shared their love for racing, they didn't talk about it. They were interested in each other. Being in an unfamiliar, non motorsport area - besides being surrounded by people of the motorsport, gave them the shot to get to know each other on a different level. Unnoticeably, Charles stepped closer to Matilde to hear her more properly. The music became louder, which caused everyone to raise their voice to make themselves understandable. Matilde leaned in to him when she shared her words and to listen to her words. Her arm touched his arm and he sometimes felt an electric shock through their arms. Matilde looked down when she felt her cheeks heating up, because she realised what was happening. She bit her lip and placed a lost piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hello."

Matilde looked up and Kevin was standing in front of her and Charles. The shy look on her face changed to a confused, but surprised look. "Hej."

"I'm gonna steal her from you," Kevin informed Charles while smiling. His eyes shot from Charles to Matilde, who couldn't hide her blushes, Matilde followed Kevin to the bar, where they both ordered sparkling water. "How much did you drink?"

Matilde squinted her eyes and leaned against the bar. "Gin & Tonic and a Radler beer. Why? You? How did you even get here? Since when are you friends with Max?"

"Only a beer," he replied. "And Max invited Nico and Nico took me with him. Anyway, you're going to Denmark next week, right?"

"You know, Kevin, your conversation skills turned into detective skills," she mentioned. A smile curved on her lips. "But yes, after Monza."

"Do you have a free evering that week?" Before he let her say anything, he accepted her feedback by turning his question into a conversation. "Because next month is my birthday and you are busy so I was thinking of going out for dinner with Louise, Lars, Lene and you to celebrate it ahead."

"Yes, that sounds amazing," she said. "Of course, I will be there."

A happy smile came on Kevin's face. "For how long will you be home?"

"The entire week, I'm working from home," she shared. "I have a few meetings in Copenhagen, management wise, and I will give the students of Lars a masterclass about PR."

He nodded impressed. "Ready to leave it all behind for a week?"

"No, but if they fuck it up, they fuck it up," she shrugged. They both laughed. "I'm still working from home, though."

As Matilde and Kevin continued their conversation at the bar, Charles watched them from a distance, a twinge of jealousy tugging at his heart. He knew Kevin had a wife and children, and he knew that he was just friends with Matilde and that she knew his wife as well. But he couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment at the interruption, wishing he could have more time alone with Matilde. Despite his initial jealousy, Charles felt happy for Matilde that she had a good friendship with Kevin. It was always a nice feeling to have someone in the same world that came from the same country. He had always been on her side.

At some point, a Dutch song blasted through the speakers, a song everybody knew: Europapa by Joost Klein. They all shouted some familiar words and when the part came on to hak, some made an attempt on hakken, but there were a few who could pull it off. Matilde was familiar with the scene, a cousin of hers was obsessed with hakken. She pulled off an attempt, and it looked like it. But at least they all had fun. It was like they ended up at a party with songs everybody could easily shout along.

The night was nearing, and many people decided to leave and the bar was about to close in twenty minutes. Just like Matilde and Charles, who happened to stay in the same hotel, so they decided to leave together - well, Charles insisted on leaving together since he didn't feel comfortable with Matilde walking back to the hotel on her own.

Matilde grabbed her blazer from the rack and was about to put it on, but a familiar tune entered her ear. She looked into the crowd, finding Gemma. Gemma looked up from her phone, looking for Matilde. A smile grew on Matilde's face and she looked at Charles, who raised his eyebrows by her glance. "Hold on," she said to Charles and pushed her blazer and purse into his hands. She made her way back into the crowd.

"I am unwritten. Can't read my mind," Gemma sang dramatically, singing along with Natasha Bedingfield's 90s hitsong Unwritten.

A laugh left Matilde's mouth. "I'm undefined. I'm just beginning. The pen's in my hand. Ending unplanned," she sang along.

Gemma's eyes lit up as Matilde joined the duet. The surrounding crowd turned to watch as the two friends lost themselves in the moment, their laughter filling the air as they sang. As they reached the chorus, Gemma threw her arm around Matilde's shoulder and they began to jump.

"Feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you. Only you can let it in. No one else, no one else. Can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life. with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten."

For a brief moment, everything else faded away as they revelled in the simple pleasure of music and friendship. It was a happy moment for them, but it even made the others in the bar happy. The two women were enjoying life and the moment. And as the song came to an end, they hugged tightly, their smiles reflecting the pure happiness.

On the side, close to the exit, Charles was watching the two women. He adored Matilde's spontaneity and her happiness. With a smile on his face, he leant against a table and waited for her. During the song, his eyes scanned the people around them; Max was grinning and silently singing along, Kevin was sitting at the bar and was also singing along and many more people enjoyed the song. It was just a happy moment.

With a big smile on her face, Matilde walked back to Charles. "Sorry, I just needed to do that with Gemma," she said.

Charles held the blazer behind Matilde so he could help her with putting the blazer on. "No worries, enjoy the moment."

"Happiest three minutes of the night," she breathed.

They made eye contact with Max and he waved at them. Matilde waved at Kevin as well. Before the song came on, they said goodbye to everyone, so their wave was just a final goodbye for now. They stepped outside, facing the chill but stuffy weather. Charles put his hands in his pockets and got surprised when Matilde hooked her arm in his.

"I wish I had a bike right now," Matilde mentioned when she was looking at one of the twenty bikes in the street. "My feet are killing me."

He looked down at her feet; she was wearing heels, low heels. They looked comfortable to him. "I can book an Uber," he offered.

"Meh, that's not necessary," she replied. "As long as we will not get recognised, we can just walk." She looked around. "It's funny how some countries are bicycle counties and others are not."

"It's so weird to look around and see at least one bike here."

"I believe there are more bikes in The Netherlands than people."

Charles smirked, the random facts Matilde shared was precious. "How is that even possible?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "So... Are there more wheels or doors?"

He let go of her because there was an obstacle on the pavement. However, he hooked his fingers into hers and walked in front of her. "When seeing all these bikes... Wheels. What do you think?"

"Definitely wheels," she answered. "I don't know why, but wheels." When they could walk next to each other, Charles made sure Matilde was walking on the inside of him. Neither one of them let go of the other's hand. "Did you enjoy this evening?"

He nodded. "I did. You?"

"Good. And I did too. I enjoyed how casual it was, no fancy dancy talk, just casual talk," she replied.

"But Max and gin & tonics..."

Matilde stopped walking and did the move: Max was holding his hands in the air and his index fingers were pointed to the top, and then he would move them up and down. Charles did the same and they both started to laugh. "Such a dad move," she laughed.

Charles clapped his hands and couldn't stop laughing at the impression. "That is a classic Max move," he laughed.

"It's just sweet," she commented and smiled. However, it quickly faded away when she felt the irritated sensation around her feet. Those sandal heels looked cute, it was simple, elegant, chic, but a feet killer. They were mid heeled, not even that high, but that didn't matter. "You know what," she said and looked at Charles.

"Hmm, what?" Charles said, waiting for a serious answer since she had a stern look on her face.

"I am gonna take off these heels because I can't do this anymore," she revealed and grabbed Charles' arm for support. She took off her heels.

"Matilde, stop," he advised her sternly. "Don't do that."

"What? It's so fucking painful."

"Don't go barefoot, that's fucking disgusting."

"I would rather have dirty feet than painful feet."

"What about glass? Or... cigarettes. They will end up in your feet and then I have to bring you to the hospital for a treatment," he told her and raised his eyebrows.

Matilde thought about it and nodded. "Uh, no. That will not happen," she convincingly smiled and stepped away from him, resuming her way to the hotel.

"Matilde," Charles warned her and wrapped his hand around her wrist. He pulled her back to him. He would not let her stubbornness get the best of her.

"Charles," Matilde copied his tone and stood in front of him, she was not amused.

Matilde's lips were set in a stubborn line while Charles wore a disapproving expression.

"You don't know what could be on the ground," he said, his grip on her wrist firm but gentle. "Let me call an Uber."

"The hotel is literally there," she replied and pointed at a building a kilometre away. She knew he was right, but calling an Uber for a short ride was not necessary. And many people lived barefoot. So what could happen to her? "I'll be careful."

Charles studied her for a moment, his gaze softening when he recognised the stubborn streak in her eyes. He knew he couldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to, but he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable either.

Their eyes locked in a silent battle of wills, each refusing to back down. They just stood there, somewhere in Amsterdam, grumbling about heels and the pavement. They were centimetres apart from each other. Charles felt a surge of protectiveness wash over him, the feeling became stronger after the incident in Silverstone. Matilde's gaze softened as she scanned his face, she could see the concern etched in his features, the worry lines that creased his forehead and she couldn't help but feel a flutter of warmth in her chest.

Charles closed the remaining distance between them, his hand reaching up to her cheekbone. He stroked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked at her lips briefly. When he looked back into her eyes, he saw a sparkle. He leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a sweet kiss.

Time stood still as they savoured the sweetness of the moment. Matilde's heart fluttered in her chest as she melted into his touch, the sensation sending shivers down her spine. Her hands tenderly touched his chest. The kiss was soft, yet filled with desire, longing and a sense of belonging.

When they pulled away, Matilde leaned her forehead against his, their breaths mingling in the night air. Her heart was racing. She could feel the warmth of his breath against her skin, sending more shivers down her spine.

"Let me take you to the hotel," Charles whispered, his voice barely audible over the pounding of their hearts. "I don't want you to get hurt."

She lifted her head, meeting his gaze with a soft smile. "How?"

"Here, hold this," he said and handed over the purse he had been holding. "And jump on my back."

"Charles," she giggled and covered her mouth with her hand. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," he smiled and turned around.

Matilde jumped on his back and wrapped one of her arms carefully around his neck. Charles put his hands around her legs and started to walk to the hotel. "You smell nice," she whispered. She wanted to make a comment about how men's cologne would stay on them for days and women's perfume for a second, but knew it was better to keep her mouth shut.

"Thank you," he softly chuckled. As he was walking, he felt a sense of peace wash over him, a feeling of contentment settling in his mind and heart.

As Charles carried Matilde on his back through the streets of Amsterdam, a sense of warmth enveloped them, cocooning them in their own little world. Matilde rested her head against his shoulder, her heart filled with gratitude for his caring gesture. She could feel the steady rhythm of his footsteps beneath her, each step bringing them closer to the hotel.

The hotel staff didn't look up when they entered the hotel. Charles made his way to the lift and Matilde pressed the button, calling the lift. There was silence between them when they stepped into the lift and made their way to the right floor. Charles walked to Matilde's room after she told him which number she had.

Charles gently lowered Matilde to her feet. Their eyes met and in that fleeting moment, a silent understanding passed between them. They shared a smile.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice barely audible in the stillness of the hotel.

Charles smiled, his eyes reflecting the warmth of his heart. "Anytime," he replied softly. "Sleep well," he said, knowing it was the right decision to leave for now.

"Good night, Charles," she smiled satisfied and opened her room door. Before stepping inside, she turned around and quickly pecked his lips. Then, she entered her room and closed the door behind her.

When she walked to the bathroom, a smile was resting on her face. What a man could do... Matilde looked at herself in the mirror, she looked so stupid for smiling this big. What he could do... A soft giggle left her mouth and she shook her head.

What Charles could make her feel like... Wrong.

Matilde straightened her face and stared at herself. What she just did was wrong, very wrong. It shouldn't have happened. It was disgusting. Tears filled her eyes, she was disappointed in herself.

She was his boss.

He was her driver.

"Fuck."

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos@crashingwavesofeuphoria@maryvibess @chocolatefartstrawberry @snzleclerc @ironmaiden1313 @blodwyn4u

[theoldlesbianwithcats]

22.02.17 — On lesbian socialisation (by sespursongles)

We all know how female socialisation works, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone discuss the concept of lesbian socialisation, how it affects us, with what consequences — and how it is like female socialisation, squared.

To put it in a nutshell — female socialisation teaches you that you are inherently worth less than men and you must always defer to them and prioritise them and their feelings over yourself and other women. Lesbian socialisation teaches you that you are inherently worth less than male-attracted women and you must always defer to them and prioritise them and their feelings over yourself and other lesbians.

Lesbians are of course affected by both, although being gay can help us fight some aspects of female socialisation—e.g., the need to prioritise men or win male approval. Not that it doesn't affect us at all, but the message that “you are worth less than men” does impact you differently when men are worth less than women to you in your love life, and “you must behave in X and Y ways and treat other women like rivals for male interest” sounds like irritating white noise when getting male interest isn't a desired outcome.

On the other hand, we have nothing to help us resist the impact of lesbian socialisation, because we love women. We are fully behind the idea of prioritising women. Add to this a healthy dose of internalised lesbophobia, and we are now fully behind the idea that mlw are worth more than lesbians and we should prioritise these women in particular, always.

Not to mention the factor of our social isolation and quasi-total lack of outside support — how every other group and political faction hates us in a different (but, deep down, the same) way, how desperate we are for allies.

I wrote a post last week about lesbophobia and double standards in the radfem community, and one part of it was directed every bit as much at lesbians than at mlw: “Het/bi women are really seen as inherently more important and worthy of respect than lesbians, aren’t they? Can’t waste your shock and anger on people who hate lesbians because you must save it for when a lesbian calls a manloving woman a manlover.”

I wrote that post because there were lesbians who were much more shocked and outraged at other lesbians for hurting a bi woman’s feelings by calling her a lesbophobe and a “manlover”, than at said bi woman for being a lesbophobe who defended the idea that lesbians can be manlovers. (She was defending a book I mentioned previously, written by a bi woman, in which a lesbian falls in love with a guy.) There were also lesbians who hurried to write posts urging other lesbians to calm down and be nice when we started reacting to the lesbophobia, but felt no need to write posts telling mlw who were being lesbophobic to calm down and be nice. And there were lesbians who felt the need to write posts reassuring “our bi sisters” that we still love them and we know most of them aren’t like that and NotAllBis and wlw solidarity, but didn’t feel the need to respond to this surge of lesbophobia with comforting posts of solidarity to fellow lesbians. That’s what I call lesbian socialisation. Put manloving women first, always. Suck it up, be nice, placate, placate. Can’t risk alienating the very few “allies” we have.

Female socialisation teaches you “it’s in your best immediate interests to care more about men’s feelings than about women’s oppression.” Lesbian socialisation teaches you “it’s in your best immediate interests to care more about manloving women’s feelings than about lesbian oppression.”

And that’s exactly why the queer/bi/trans community has been able to dismantle the lesbian community so easily and walk all over us. Because all lesbians have been taught to never dare prioritise ourselves and our own wants and needs, to always put every other group’s feelings and wishes before ours, especially other women and other marginalised groups who need our help and compassion*. Gay men don’t have this problem and so they still have “exclusionary” spaces. *And these groups know it. They might not know it consciously, but they know it, and they exploit it.

Every time a het radfem reminds a lesbian of how dangerous and painful partnering with men is, every time a bi woman throws those bi suicide and rape statistics at us, every time a “trans lesbian” talks about how much it hurts his feelings to be rejected by mean lesbians who won’t date him, they are counting on lesbian socialisation to kick in, waiting for lesbians to feel terrible and forget about our own best interests and duly start prioritising theirs.

Het radfems do this deliberately, to get us to admit that het privilege isn’t really a thing and, back in the day, to convince lesbians to accept their political lesbianism rubbish (“Why won’t you welcome us in your community as your lesbian sisters? Do you really want us to go back to our hurtful hetero relationships?”). Bi women do this deliberately, to guilt-trip us into “including” them everywhere and shut us up when we talk about their lesbophobia. “Trans lesbians” do this deliberately, to get us to fuck them. (Men don’t have complicated motivations).

They all know the stereotypes (they create them) that are an integral part of lesbian socialisation, teaching us our worthlessness. The mean lesbian, the angry lesbian, the manhating lesbian, the ugly hairy rabid hysterical cruel insensitive heartless biphobic transphobic gatekeeping selfish exclusionary oppressive genital-fetishising lesbian.

Lesbian socialisation is the incredibly useful and necessary extension of female socialisation. It functions to keep the women most detached from patriarchal institutions, the women who least need men, who have the most reasons to rebel, quiet and well-behaved. Growing up as a lesbian, you receive female socialisation, hear that as a woman you are subhuman and born to love men, serve men, worship men, and you feel angry. But you also receive lesbian socialisation, hear that you are not merely subhuman but subwoman, lower than low, if you turn into one of those crazy rabid angry lesbians, and you back down.

And other groups know how to use all these hateful messages and stereotypes against us, either throwing them at us outright, or subtly reminding us of them, then watching us desperately scramble trying to prove that they aren’t true, or at least not true of me. They know.

So, it would be good if lesbians knew, too. Be aware that lesbian socialisation exists, that it affects you, and that other groups use it against you. Notice patterns. Notice in what contexts the calls for “empathy”, “solidarity”, “sisterhood”, politeness and niceness start flowing. Notice in what contexts other groups give you tragic statistics about their own oppression. Notice when you start feeling bad and guilty and ask yourself why. Who are you prioritising? (Usually, yourself and/or your fellow lesbians.) Whose feelings are you ignoring? Who are you concretely hurting? (Usually, no one. Prioritising lesbians does not actively hurt other groups, no matter how badly they want us to believe that—using the aforementioned tragic statistics as well as words like “denying us” to make us feel like our bodies, affection, time, solidarity and emotional labour are as necessary to them as oxygen.)

And remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritise lesbians, and that you do not have to care about people and groups who have shown time and again that they do not care about you. When a group has a long history of disregard or blatant hatred of lesbians and shows zero willingness to change, it’s okay not to care anymore. It’s okay to answer questions like “Do you support X group?” (trans people, radfems, gay men, bi women…) with “No. I support lesbians.”

Because you are not required by law to support groups who do not support you back, let alone groups who are actively promoting an ideology that hurts you and your community. It’s nice to be nice and polite and supportive, but when the niceness and politeness and support always flow in the same direction, at some point, it’s time to stop. Allow yourself to stop. (At the very least, allow other lesbians to stop and don’t lecture them for not being sufficiently nice and polite to the groups that you, personally, still have some faith in. She probably has good reasons for losing her faith in them.)

If you do stop, you’ll probably feel very guilty at first (they’ll make sure you do), but it will get easier. You might even start feeling better about yourself now that you stopped caring about some groups who never cared about you.

And finally, please keep in mind that if you don’t prioritise yourself and other lesbians, no one else will. No other group will care. Not even marginalised groups who share some aspect of their oppression with us. Not het women, not trans people, not gay men, not bi women. No other group will defend us, support us and prioritise our hurt feelings over their oppression — what they constantly demand of us. No matter how nice, accommodating, polite, helpful we are to them. It’s never going to be our turn.

[pelova4president]

That stupid smile of hers II

Esmee Brugts x nedwnt!R

I of that stupid smile of hers

summary~ after the World Cup y/n goes back to North London and Esmee to Barcelona. Will they at least try to make things work?

Vic was running after me, yelling my name. I stepped into our changing room and sat at my cubby, head in my hands, how Esmee was sat just moments ago.

Victoria stopped in her tracks, i could feel her eyes on me. “Kijk y/n, ik weet niet wat er gaande is tussen jou en Esmee dus alsjeblieft vertel het me zodat ik kan helpen” (Look y/n, i don’t know what is going on with you and Esmee so please tell me so i can help) she begged. I took my hands off my eyes and looked up at her. “Vic ze gaat naar barça..” (Vic, she’s joining barça..) she held her arms open and i sobbed onto her shoulder.

Vic knew that Esmee’s and my friendship wasn’t all platonic but she didn’t ask questions, she just held me. But i fell, i fell hard and fast and there was nothing she could do to protect me from that heartbreak now. “Ssshh.. het komt goed, we hebben de internationale breaks nog en je kunt dr opzoeken als we vrije tijd hebben… het komt goed y/n” (Ssshh.. it’s gonna be okay, we’ve got the international breaks and you can visit her in your free time… it’s gonna be okay y/n) she assured me.

We got onto our flights, Vic and I to London, Esmee to Barça. I haven’t really talked to her since she told me about Barça. Before she walked to her gate she gave me a hug and put a piece of paper in my hands.

I got onto the plane, exhausted from the last 24 hours. I fell asleep and when i woke up I remembered what Es gave me.

‘I’m sorry but i couldn’t waste this chance. It’s a once in a lifetime chance y/n, it’s my dream. I get that you’re upset with me but i hope you’ll give me another chance’

I couldn’t hold the tears in, my emotions were all over the place and i couldn’t control them all anymore. Vic looked at me and hugged me. I had to tell someone so i told Vic everything, about how i thought she was annoying, all the times we got lost, how she told me they wanted to offer her a contract in England and the kiss. I knew she knew i had a crush on Esmee but it felt good to actually tell someone about it all.

y/n_y/l/n

liked by esmeebrugts and 12.563 others

wore the badge with honour, i can’t thank you all enough for the support. I love this team. so thankful for the people i met ❤️

comments

svandesanden only love 🫶

victoriapelova ❤️❤️

esmeebrugts to many more adventures 😍

esmeefan22 is that esmee on photo 1 and 4??

↳ y/l/nisaballer it has to be, y/n is also wearing esmee’s sweater in photo 4!!

↳ esmeefan22 they’re sooo cute together i can’ttt

esmeebrugts

liked by y/n_y/l/n and 11.419 others

a dream come true playing at this world cup. So proud to be part of this amazing team. Our dream ended too soon for us… Thank you to all the Oranje fans, the staff and my teammates. Onto the next adventure

ps. I may not have won the World Cup but I did beat the ‘fifa champion of england’ 😉

comments

y/n_y/l/n i won the first game so it doesn’t count

↳ esmeebrugts the first one of twenty games yeah

y/nbrugtslovr soft launching??

↳ brugts4life they’re definitely dating

When i finally got home i texted Esmee.

y/n: hey es, ik heb je briefje gelezen. Je verdient deze kans, ik zou nooit boos op je kunnen zijn. Laat het weten als je bent aangekomen in Barcelona. (hey es, i’ve read your letter. You deserve this chance, i could never be mad at you. Let me know if you’ve arrived in Barcelona)

es: hi y/n/n ik ben veilig aangekomen. Ik mis je nu al, het spijt me dat we zo afscheid moesten nemen maar ik kom je snel opzoeken, ondertussen kunnen we facetimen. Het komt goed. (hi y/n/n i’ve arrived safely. I already miss you, i’m sorry we had to say goodbye like that but i’ll visit you soon and we can facetime in the meantime. Everything’s gonna be alright.)

I spent the next few weeks facetiming and texting Esmee whenever i could. Her signing hadn’t been announced yet but she has met the barcelona squad and told me all about it. Her first few days were hard. Only a few of the girls spoke enough english to have a conversation with and Esmee couldn’t really talk any Spanish let alone Catalan. It was Aitana Bonmatí who took her under her wing, with a little bit of translation from Ingrid.

The move from The Netherlands to Spain was still hard though, the culture was different, she didn’t really have someone to rely on and she was homesick. So she was looking forward to the first break they had.

When Barça announced her signing i was way too proud not to comment on it.

esmeebrugts, fcbfemeni

liked by oranjeleeuwinnen and 35.679 others

Excited to announce a new dutch talent to barça, welcome Esmee Brugts

comments

liekemartens vamosss 🔴🔵

y/n_y/l/n so so proud, you deserve it! ❤️

We had a few days off before the season started and i wanted nothing more than to see Esmee so i booked a flight, to Spain. I wanted to surprise her and spend some time with her after only seeing each other over the phone.

It was well into the evening when i arrived at Esmee’s apartment. I bought a bouquet flowers for her at the airport, what kind of gir- friend.. would i be if i came empty handed.

It took Es a few seconds to open the door after i knocked but there she was, a sleepy Esmee looking at me like she’d just seen a ghost. “Mag ik ook nog binnen komen of…” (Can i come in or…) i laughed. She opened the door for me and gave me a hug.

She went to get something to drink for me and i took in her apartment, it was so typically Esmee. It was modern but cozy and there were photos everywhere. A photo of the two of us after a game on the bus standing next to her television.

She came into the living room, holding two cups of tea. “Ik heb je echt gemist weet je” (I’ve really missed you, you know) she told me once we were both settled. “Ik jou ook” (I’ve missed you too) I told her. I put my cup on the table and layed my head on her chest, the sound of her heartbeat bringing me to sleep.

When i woke up we were both in bed, I was still laying on top of her but i had her hoodie on and a pair of her barca sweatpants. Esmee was still asleep so i walked into the kitchen and started making breakfast for the two of us.

I was almost done with the eggs when i felt two arms wrap around my stomach and a head rest on my shoulder. She hummed good morning and gave me a kiss on my cheek, something she hasn’t really done since we’ve been apart.

Eating breakfast i told her about my journey and about Viv and Vic. Esmee had the day off so she would be able to show me the city.

We went to Esmee’s favourite cafe, did some shopping and went out to dinner. Es had made a reservation for the two of us at some fancy restaurant. She had asked her teammates for advice and they came with a few of the best restaurants in Barcelona.

After dinner she took me to her favourite spot. She told me all about it, this was really the only place she felt like home when she first arrived in Barcelona. Her appartement was still empty and didn’t really feel like a home. This place reminded her of home, the green grass and the water, it was just so peaceful. Esmee wasn’t used to all the noise and choas in the big city.

She took a blanket out of her bag and placed it on the ground. We layed next to each other, my arms around her stomach and my head on her chest. She gave me a kiss on my forehead and took in the moment.

Esmee took my hand in hers and squeezed it. “y/n wil je mijn vriendin zijn?” (y/n will you be my girlfriend?) she asked me. I kissed her and told her just how much i wanted to be her girlfriend.

The days went by quicker than i would’ve liked. I was dreading the day that i would have to go back to London and we would have to communicate over the phone again. I liked it here. I liked to be with Esmee.

The next break i got i went straight to Barcelona to see Esmee play. The stadium was absolutely packed and i couldn’t contain my excitement watching her play.

y/n_y/l/n

Traveling between England, Spain and The Netherlands was getting exhausting so when Barça offered me a contract i couldn’t say no.

I was sad to leave London, to leave The Arsenal but i needed a new challenge, i needed my lover and that is where Barça is.

I haven’t told Esmee yet but i might have a little plan of telling her.

y/n_y/l/n

liked by fcbfemeni and 15.439 others

lieverd, i’m coming home

comments have been disabled

Not long after i got an incoming call from a certain Barça player. “wat bedoel je met ‘lieverd, i’m coming home’?!” (what do you mean by ‘lieverd, i’m coming home’?!) she almost yelled. I giggled “Es, je weet wat ik bedoel. Ik ga naar Barça” (Es, you know what i mean. I’m going to Barça) i told her.

This time around those four words were everything i could’ve hoped for. I was gonna be with my lover, i’m gonna go home.

esmeebrugts, y/n_y/l/n

liked by victoriapelova and 27.673 others

she’s coming home everybody. she’s a culer.

comments

victoriapelova credits to me for making this happen?

↳ daniellevddonk i think we deserve a medal or something

y/nsbrugts i knew it!!!

brugtsfan22 they’re so cute together 😭

wosofan11 if you look close enough you can see me jumping off that eiffel tower 🥰

When i arrived at Esmee’s apartment, or should i call it our appartement, our home. I was greeted with a big smile, that stupid smile of hers and a kiss. “Stop met zo naar me lachen, je ziet er dom uit” (Stop smiling at me like that, you look stupid) i shoved her.

“Niet liegen, je houdt van mijn domme lach” (Don’t lie, you love my stupid smile”

A/N thanks everyone for reading my fic. There aren’t really any Esmee fics so i thought i’d write my own. If you have any fic ideas let me know!! <3

[worldgreatestarchersimp]

Dating the Hargreeves would include

Navigation | Umbrella Academy Masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The Hargreeves x gn!reader

Lila Pitts x gn!reader

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Gifs are not mine

English is not my first language

A/n: Guess it looks like I´m starting to write again. So my requests are open again. But trought my time and school schedule it could take some time, because I´m also having big exams comming.

Luther Hargreeves

You love hearing stories about his life on the moon. He mostly thinks that his stories are boring but you assure him that you like them.

Since he lived on the moon you are his first everything. maybe not his first love Like in everything. First kiss, first time, ... Because of that felt insecure. He tought you would leave him because of this.

He was also scared how you´d react of his condition. He kept it a secret until Diego told him to tell you.

You were shocked at first but you didn´t mind one more reason to hate his dad

He´s the biggest softy and very protective over you.

He alwyas takes you out to cute picnics.

Diego Hargreeves

Let´s say he has type: badass people

You both meet in the box club.

He teaches how to throw knives

You both are gym rats. And always competion each other.

He´s trying so hard to be the ´Alpha-Male´ but fails miserably.

You and him annoying the rest of the family with prankwars

He´s a big cocky wannabe who shamelessly flirts with anytime and everywhere.

His love language is physical touch. He´s a big sucker for cuddling and doesn´t if he is big or little spoon rigth now.

You are saving him from from stupid actions and descision he might would do.

Allison Hargreeves

Fighting with her together against rasicm (it does not matter if you´re black or white or idk)

Raising Claire together. Spoiler alert she absolut loves you.

Being always on your side. We are not supporting S3 Allison inthis household

Finding Luther weird. Not for his condition. but for hid behaviour towards your girlfriend.

Finding her power extrem cool. But after hearing that faked her whole life with her power, the first big fight began. She assured you she wouldn´t do that to you and only did it to het ex because she tought she was a failure.

You wanted to believe her but you were scared that you were also in her curse or whatever it got called.

It was suprisly Luther who brought you two back together.

Klaus Hargreeves

Spontaneous roadtrips somewhere in the world.

You are the only person who knows he´s non-binary.

You both are the funny duo everyone is annoyed of. Like recreating memes at midnight or laughing always by just looking at each other.

You´re taking his drug problemn serious and helping him to sober up.

You are his second and hopefully last love.

Going shopping and catwalking the new clothes all over the hous just to annoy his family more. The only one who seem to enjoy it is ghostie Benerino.

He tells you at random momtents how much he loves you.

Viktor Hargreeves

He had massive trust issuses at first thanks to that bitch

To his birthday you bought him a violin, so could find peace in his playing again. But he got lowkey scared to end the world again. But he tried it anyways one night. When you heard him playing it was so beautiful. Since then he plays every night for you.

You comfort him after his nightmares.

Teaching him some self-defense.

Growing from hating Luther to liking loving him. And starting to hate Allison.

He teaches you how to play violin.

You are always reading to him, because he likes your voice and it comforts him but this little bean sleps always in

Lila Pitts

SARCASM

Your realationship is full of sarcastic comments. What confussed the Hargreeves and other people.

You are the only one she trusts after hearing, that her ´mother´ killed her parenets.

You two meet, because you were her mission, but she fell for you. So your realationship started with trust issues.

Suprisly it was Five who got you both together and played wingman.

She´s very cocky, but so are you. One thing she loves about you.

Teaming together upwith Five, because he´s the only one who´s not a man-child, acording to you.

She´s saving you from stupid actions and descision you might would do.

[sterredem]

in LOVE

Gracie abrams x fem!mercedes!driver!reader

Face claim Pinterest girls and Olivia Rodrigo

Warning fluff, spelling mistakes, not proofread

Summary In which Gracie Abrams and Y/n are in love

A/N a bit short but u was sick and bored so this is what I made. Not my best but as u said I was sick and bored.

Twitter

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Instagram

212.122 likes

CelebrityNews Y/n y/l/n spotted going to the Kelly Clarkson show, sources have said that she is there to support her partner, Gracie abrams. The singer will be interviewed and perform at the show. Other sources have also says that she will be interviewed and talk about her experience in motorsports.

View all 2.624 comments

User1 we love supportive girlfriend

User2 So exited for her and Gracie!!

User3 they are the cutest!

User4 I love them

User5 She looks so good

User6 Ahhhh!

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YouTube

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Twitter

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Instagram

247.826 likes

Popcrave Gracie Abrams and friends seen entering the Belgium Grand Prix paddock. This is no new news for fans of Gracie or Y/n, that is because the couple is a very well known and loved in both fandoms. We are very happy to see the couple together again.

View all 925 comments

User7 she’s so cute

User8 I love how they announced it and now we are all here loving them and talking shit about the people that hate on them

User9 girlfriend support girlfriend with friends

User10 we love to see it

User11 I’m speechless the ate such an hot couple

User12 her and her friends are so gorgeous

User13 They are both glowing after the began dating

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Instagram

Liked by GracieAbrams and 1.245.265 others

Yourusername Belgium photo dump

View all 124.525 comments

GracieAbrams First

Yourusername always

GracieAbrams Cutie

Yourusername Says you

Mercedesamgf1 great job Y/n!

User1 Always so aesthetic

User2 She is the biggest Gracie Abrams fan

User3 earlier than Gracie!

GracieAbrams never

User4 the most gorgeous women ever

GracieAbrams that’s right, and she has a girlfriend

User5 we Stan overprotective girlfriend

User6 the 8th picture is…🫠🫠

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Instagram

Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 1.143.142 others

GracieAbrams weekend photo dump…

View all 123.254 comments

Yourusername Gorgeous

Yourusername speechless

Yourusername beauty

Yourusername hot

Yourusername sexy

GracieAbrams stop it

Yourusername never

User7 Lots of Mercedes

User8 never meeting the in love with her girlfriend alegations

User9 she’s so high

Yourusername and taken

User10 I want het

Yourusername I have her

User11 we love overprotective girlfriend

User12 they are both so pretty🫠

User13 I love you

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[villainsimpqueen]

The Barren Lands: New Horizons

Recom Miles Quaritch x Na'vi reader

A special following the events after my fanfic "The Barren Lands" Which is available on A03 and Wattpad as its it birthday!

With this i wakt to say thank you to everyone who had supported the Barrens land's fanfic and a specail thank you to @choclodox and @nin3kyuu for blessing the Barrens lands with fanart that ultimately brought more fans to read it and genuinely being amazing people i got to become friends with and grow with in the avatar community.

For those who dont know @nin3kyuu has their own Na'vi clan species known as Moutain Na'vi with amazing lore and gorgeous art and i highly recomend you all go and explore her pages of moutain Na'vi.

And @choclodox has gorgeous art and a fanfic of their own Na'vi species clan known as night Na'vi with amazing lore and You should also go to her pages and explore the world of night Na'vi!

Now onto the ✨️ Special ✨️

--- The Barren Lands: New Horizons-----

A choir of small snores, soft sighs and tired groans rang into his cropped ears. His tail twitching slightly as he felt drowsiness hold him tight to keep him asleep for just a little longer. He could hear the sandstorm had left long ago in the night leaving him and his family alone once more. Though sleep would not take hold and his emerald green eyes fluttered open to the soft breathing of his sleeping mate. Even after so many years the mere sight of her makes his heart slam against his ribcage and chest. He traced her arm as he held her close, each one of her breaths pushing her back against his chest as he traced his hand from her arm down to her where his bright blue thumb contrasted harshly against her gray hued skin. Her tail slightly tapping his leg as she shifted more into him, nuzzling her face into his other arm, ears twitching. Miles stilled, not wanting to wake y/n up, watching her settle back in place and slumber causing him to smile slightly and press his lips against her shoulder. His eyes soon moved away from her and to their young sleeping in a pile not too far from them. His eyes moved from the youngest to the not so youngest and his tail twitched with the sinking feeling of his chest as he was reminded how soon the oldests ones would challenge him and their mother to prove to them and themselves that they are adults and ready to leave the safety of Y/n and His arms and trek through the Barren lands alone. Old enough to search for mates of their own and start families just like his oldest son had done a few years back.

His eyes shifted over all of them memories of how they all were once so little in his arms, some not even hatched from their chrysalis.

Kalanchoe, his second oldest son who once was a tiny tike in his arms, has now grown into a young man. While his oldest could have left shortly after his eighteenth year, he had stayed with them not het challenging Miles to show he was ready to leave the family.

The reason was simply sleeping not too far from him, His sister Neoma who softly snored and kicked her leg out so often that it would slam against Kalanchoe knee making him groan and twitch away. The two had always been close and though Kalanchoe could have left he stayed two years longer so that he could leave the family with Neoma and explore the world with her. As the two were very adventurous out of all their siblings it wasn't long before talks of exploring the mountain ranges had been exchanged between them for nearly two years and then to explore the cast forest.

While He knew that both of them were strong and that they handled themselves very well as they had learned from the best who slept in his arms peacefully, he didn't want to say goodbye to his children. He did not know how long it would be until they crossed paths against the golden sands of their home, for it had been mere consequences when his family passed his oldest son and mates' family.

Spider was not like his other children, he was still just a human, and now a man in his early thirties and while he is still very much in his prime years, his golden ones were already starting to take effect in his oldest son's aging. Something that hadn't dawned on him until he saw his son in that mere passing. While eight years hasn't barely changed himself, Change upon the years took hold of his oldest son.Spider had already started showing signs of gray hair coming in root with his blond ones. Wrinkles started to dent into his face and while his skin had tanned by the barren land's strong sun,it had only made him look more older. While Miles himself still looked young as the day he woke up for the second time as recombinant. Seeing the aging differences between himself and his oldest son brought a strong sense of mourning to settle deep into his chest, as the aging was a painful reminder of how much longer lifespans Na'vi live. His son's mates Haimona, Apera still looked as young as they did when they all left the pack though there were the familiar signs of exhaustion that came from being parents to their rambunctious and wild daughter. Plans had been made for the families to meet every three months at the oasis where He had first met his mate Y/n for a great family hunt and meal. It was those times everyone was able to catch up and from the last gathering Apera came bearing news that she would be baring another grandchild to Y/n and Him. That night was filled with celebration.

Miles took in a deep breath as his younger three children slept in the temporary den he had made for them. The twins Altan, Dagian and his youngest son Kayin. They all laid on top of each other in the small pile they made and the sight warmed his sudden heart only slightly until the thoughts of how fast the years would speed by before all three of them would too challenge him and fight to prove themselves as adults and ready to leave Him and His mate behind to start big lives of their own.

He felt movement against his chest and then a warm hand cupping the side of his face moving his green eyes to leave his children and into the silvered and amber ones of his love.

‘“My Miles.”’ She whispered to him not wanting to disturbed their children's sleep, her eyes never moving from his.

‘“Are you lost my Miles?”’

She referred to him losing himself in his thoughts, He did that sometimes, now more than often as he took in how their little ones were no longer as little. How so much has changed for him, How he ended up with a family he still strongly believed he never deserved but was so grateful he got to have and as he stared into Her gorgeous eyes he was so grateful that Ewya had her be the one to find him in that oasis so many years ago.

He moved his hand from her hip covering her hand with his own holding her soft warm palm closer to his cheek.

“‘No Darlin, I'm right here.”’ He whispered softly to her watching how her lips tugged to a soft smile as she traced her thumb against his cheek bone.

“‘You mustn't worry about them love, we raised them to be mighty.”’ She had reassured him by building up worries, making him squeeze her hand ever so slightly.

“‘I am their father, It's my job to worry for them.”’

Her smile only grew as she moved to face him, their chests against each other as she looked into his eyes and soul.

“‘You are their father, So have faith in them.”’ She softly whispered before she settled against his chest once more.

“‘Come, sleep, it is not time for us to be worrying.”’

And He chuckled holding her close once more, he watched as she drifted off back to unconscious dreams but his mind could not find its peace as he stayed awake watching over the family they had.

He knew deep down she was right, all their youngins would leave them and all will survive and make families of their own and with the oldest leaving, Y/n body will naturally change to the shift and with blessings of the great mother, They both will have more children to look after and teach the ways of the desert sands and have the honor of raising.

The family was up and moving before the sun rose over the golden sands, With Y/n leading and at the head of the family He stayed to the back of it watching all of them and the surroundings. Neoma and Kalanchoe were at the sides forming the protective Diamond as the Twins and his youngest son stayed in the middle. Years ago the two eldests themselves were in the safety of being surrounded by the adults when Lyle and Zdog were still traveling and their family was of a greater pack. But His two friends had discovered their own paths and left to walk it under the great mothers eyes. Something Miles could never hold against them as he too found the Path the great mother wished for him to follow instead of the path forced on him by his past.

Emerald eyes clashing over golden sands onto his family on a pathway they take every three months. Memories fade in and out of his sight as they move through the slightly chilled morning into the high heat of the day, only stopping for a hunt only leads to an argument.

The Argument started fast, Kalanchoe and Neoma now being adults in their minds refusing to stay behind Him and Y/n to watch their younger siblings, the start of what was to come soon coming so quickly, He wasn't ready to see his second oldest and third leave.

“‘You both need to keep an eye on things here.”’

“‘We can not stay behind your shadows because they are not ready to hunt for themselves! Father, Mother, we are not children anymore!” His daughter snarled, the little girl he once held no longer so small.

‘“You are still part of this family, And we look out for each other-.”’ He never got the chance to lecture, to try to guide them, to comfort his already knowing mind that they both were still mere children.

“‘We will not always be here to watch them.”’ Kalanchoe interjected, moving to stand against him.

‘“You refuse to see us! You see what you wish to see, but that is not us anymore! Neoma and I can Hunt, We can survive without worrying mothers mind, but you still refuse to see us!.”’

‘“You both aren't ready!”’ Miles snarled, ears slicking back and his tail moved agitatedly as he saw his own son's ears slicked back, teeth being barred.

“‘I'll force you to see me.”’ Kalanchoe countered a snarl.

‘“You don't know what your doing boy.”’ A warning, perhaps hoping that his son would in fact stand down, but his son geared up towards him.

‘“Kalanc-”’

‘“Ahh.”’ Y/n moved a knowing hand onto her daughter's shoulder and she watched the males get into each other's face.

She knew for a while now that it was only a matter of time before nature took its course, one she has seen in her own childhood watching older brothers challenge their father, some winning and leaving their marks of passage on her fathers skin ones her father would wear proudly after he mourned the chasing off of his sons, and others put in their place by her father not yet ready to leave her parents arms and travel the golden sands on their own. Not quite yet Men in their own right to be guided by the great mother to find a wise female to guide them like She has done to her miles, and like her mother and mothers before her had done with their mates.

These instincts were not something her dear mate could push away and hide from, Not when their sons and future sons need this vital moment to be deemed ready to follow the path the great mother sees for them, a path that she could not dare stop.

All she could do was guide her soon to be adult daughter and her younger sons out of the way and observe the challenge that was being played out.

One Her dear mate did not have to go through with their oldest son Spider.

The sun beat down upon them all, sweat sticking on their skin was not something that deterred the Older and Younger men, not even when the little protective garments they wore stuck like wet clay against their skin.

Both baring teeth at each other's ears slicked back. One thin tail slapping against sand and his legs the other thicker tail tip shaking like an extinct earthly snake's tail.

Both silently glaring at each other to stand down and yet at the same daring the other to make a move.

Growls of different octaves rising from their throats at each other being carried away in the little wind from the past sandstorm.

Two mindsets now setting into place, one of a past colonel and one of a young naive warrior.

It was Kalanchoe who moved first, slashing at his father with a blade Miles had sat beside him in his younger tweens and taught how to carve from the deserts limestone.

Once an innocent memory being tainted in his sheer determination to slash this very blade across his fathers chest to draw blood and rip flesh apart.

Miles moved out of the way with his hand wrapping around his son's wrist and within the first seconds of the attack it was like he was no longer seeing the small boy he took in but another enemy on ghostly battlefields.

But this enemy was not one taught by any military but a blend of himself and the love of his life.

Kalanchoe had no true military fighting style but one of the savage nature that his mother taught him and that style was to go for the throat no matter what. The sand kicked up between them as Miles focused on blocking his son's attempts while Kalanchoe would come at him at angles that gave away to one's lack of experience and yet each blow came with a promise of a fatal wound if it had landed.

Bare teeth and spit flying from snarls as both tumbled after another, one delivering blows to tire and the other blows that were meant to kill in front of a audience of a obversant mother and mate and the frightful eyes of younger sons who didn't quite understand that in time they two would be in this deadly dance of dominance against their father.

Eyes of a worried sister who would not have to face such passage of right into adulthood and while her passage would not be one of ease but one of testing wisdom to prove she would be able to guide her future family shall the great mother guide her to one.

Kalanchoe found himself rolling into the sands, his attempt to prove himself to his father falling in vain as he heard his father snarl grow louder above him. The roughness of his fathers hands shoving his shoulders and back into the sand.His blade long gone hidden in the sand they both kicked up lashing and blocking at each other. His attempt to prove himself was futile and while he still felt this instinct needed to still bare teeth and rip into his fathers flesh, the feeling of submission and failure started to take root into his chest.

His ears starting to droop back and his head starting to turn to the side, to accept his failure and his Fathers experience victory soon fell short as his arm glided across loose stone that thinly sliced his arm.

Memories of His father telling him how to hold it long taking root in his head.

‘“Even in its raw form son, it is sharp, so you must hold it carefully so you don't lose a finger.”’

His father had no knowledge of what he had bestowed to him so many years prior but it was knowledge that later in life Kalanchoe will bestow to his own sons and daughters, but in this moment, it was the knowledge that cut through his palm. Knowledge that glided across his fathers left shoulder and across his chest causing droplets of Kalanchoe victory to smear over his face and chest as he pushed against his father throwing him off balance and into the sands that now had bits of it stained with red.

His passage was seen by the observant eyes of his mother, the fearful gazes of his younger brothers that did not understand his savage fight with their beloved father and the sadden gaze of younger sister who knew what was to come next.

Kalanchoe glared down at his father snarling moving the raw rock from his fathers bleeding chest and in his bleeding hand moving it to strike him once again, only to be met with a blow from his side knocking him away from his winded father and into the sand he rolled until he could regain his balance and be met with sight of his once loving and warm mother now changed with her ears slicked back teeth bared a blade in her own hand as she hissed at him, now protecting his father and his siblings far behind her.

No longer seeing him as a harmless son but now a possible threat of his family, a need to banish him away, though this banishment was not one of hatred but knowing if he stayed only more challenges that would end in blood would happen between him and his father, and keep happening until there was no memories to keep their battles bittersweet to stop each other from digging a blade into the others neck.

As this was the passage of adulthood for young sons who were no longer to be seen as boys but men in these harsh sandy lands.

His mother would protect her family, as she would acknowledge him victor of this challenge and will no longer provide him guidance or protection.

But as Kalanchoe shrunk back from his mothers rejection, he still stood up proudly only sparing his sister a gaze of goodbye and once he knew she understand where to find him as he turned his back to his Mother, his younger brothers he would one day meet again in the barren lands, his father who was trying to move from under his mothers protection to stop him from leaving and he fled, and while his mind had no guidance for what steps his feet would take. his heart however was guided by the true mother leading him to his just beginning life.

Y/n coated his wound with a salvage preventing sand from getting into the wound and making the exposed flesh fester and rot.

Their younger sons played amongst each other rough housing as the scene that had been taken before then not nearly an hour ago was forgotten to them as they played. Playing that to them would be an instinctual drive to fight, yet they allowed them to be peacefully in play.

Their daughter sent on a hunt on herself to prove herself ready to leave their arms of safety as well, as Neoma was always attached to her older brother's hip and plans and promises of adventure had been made far before any plans of finding one's mate and starting families.

“‘He is not ready.”’ Miles spoke softly, wincing as his woman cleaned his wound and protected from the harsh climate elements.

“‘My Miles,”’ She spoke to him softly, patiently as always as she made his gaze meet her own.

“‘He is a man now, He has beaten you strongly, if he wasn't meant to be a man he would have failed.”’

“‘He is only a boy, not even in his full twenties yet.”’ he tried to reason with her but she gave him a knowing look as she cupped the side of his face.

“‘ My Miles, as i told you before, We age and grow differently from your ghosts past, this mark may sting and you shall mourn as long as it stings but in time as it heals you will wear this scar with pride, knowing that your son is a man who will not be taken down so easily by rivaling men and a Man who can keep his mate and our future grandchildren safe. and shall our paths cross amongst these sands again with our sons you will see the man you raised.”’ She spoke softly to him as she moved her hand across his chest, softly taking in the mark across the chest already with so much pride. Pride in the boy her and Miles adopted, proud of Miles for being their son's first true enemy, first true battle to push their son to be a strong warrior of these lands.

“‘in time you will grow to want to have these marks, To know that each one of our sons grew into strong men like their father.”’ She said softly kissing his temple as she moved to settle beside him watching their three younger sons rough housing in the sand. Though she could see in time her mate standing proudly like her father once had each time one of her many brothers prived them.as able and strong men.

She felt Miles sigh and leaned into her one of his strong arms wrapping around her as he watched their sons play.

“‘You sound so sure.”’ He nutters, causing her lips to quirk. “I just don't want them having a hard time.”’

She turned to look at him with a small smirk on her face as she stared at the man she so deeply loved, the one who was so stubborn and wondered how he had even survived so long before the great mother led him to her to teach and guide.

“‘A Quaritch looking for an easy way? I would go blind before seeing such a sight.”’ She quipped at him causing him to chuckle his green eyes rolling but she felt his tail swaying against hers.

“‘You know what I mean.”’ He breathy pushed out trying to hide how his lips pulled into a smirk causing her to chuckle.

Bright amber eyes scammed the golden sands as she ducked down, staying low to the sands like how her mother and father had taught her. She moved slowly but with efficacy as she approached the herd she caught sight of their tracks.

She had to force her mind to stay sharp and focus and not be clouded by the events that took place before her and her family. Her heart ached and she already missed her older brother teasing comments of how bad of a hunter she was. She missed having Kalanchoe here to hold the heads towards her.

Hunting alone was something new and foreign to her as she had always wanted with her older brother or with her parents. But she was given this choice..

To stay and learn more from.her mother even though her mother deemed her ready to take this step of her life or take on her mothers challenges to prove herself as a woman ready to leave her family's guidance and protection. Free to travel the lands by herself and to find her brother and join him in exploring the lands beyond the Barren lands. As Neoma took a deep settling breath closing her eyes as she breathed in, her ears perking up as she listened closely to movements she reminded herself who she was,

She was a Quaritch but most importantly she was the daughter of Y/n Te a te toto. The perfect mix of fuck around and find out as her father put it and she would concour this hunt and prove to her mother she was ready.

She opened her eyes ounces that her mother once head before the great battle, and she pushed from the sand attacking the side of heard watching as the animals panicked and moved sound of panic amongst the heard started and she like she was taught mimicked their noises to confuse them as she moved through the panicking heard eyes swept through the kicked up dust to spit the weak among them.

Undeterred, the young Na'vi locks onto her chosen prey, a young and inexperienced member of the herd. Closing in with a burst of speed, she unleashes into a sudden sprint, unsheathing her blade as she moves through the panicking animals. Her breathing seemed to slow as her body moved exactly how it was supposed to, no second thoughts needed to have it springing into action.

driven by her instincts alone, ones honed through generations, swiftly closes the distance. The young prey darts left and right, attempting the desperation to flee the young huntresses. Though the animal attempts would fall useless as the young huntress anticipates each move, displaying her teaching taught well to her from her mother.

Time seemed to pause as she lunged to its side, her blade finding its mark into the animal's hindquarters, the blade ripping through raw muscle and tendons causing the animal to lose its footing in the sands and slide into a crashing fall. Neoma wasted not a second more before she was on top of the beast, her teeth bared as her hand slid quickly against the thick veins and tendons of its neck, staining the sand red below the creature's neck. Neoma panted as she stared at the creature she had hunted alone by herself and she moved her head to the fallen animals.

“‘May your gentle soul return to the great mother safely as your body will provide my family energy to see another dawn.”’ She prayed for the animals' peace before she forced herself to carry it back to her parents.

Her younger siblings eagerly greeted her as they excitedly knew there would be a great meal for them to enjoy tonight. Neoma faced the prideful look of her mother and while her father seemed proud she could see a great sadness in his eyes.

Not much was spoken between her and her parents as she prepared the last meal she would have with her family.

Her.mother working on carving the very last bead she would have by her hand and her father watched at a distance as she was soon mixing chopped meat into a carved bowl of ground spices and allowing her siblings to eat as she licked her hands and moved to her father joining him as he watched the sun slowly fall.

“‘I will find him Dad.”’

She watched her father turn his head to him, his ears back but he gave her a soft smile.

“‘ I know, you both were always so close.”’ Miles told her softly, causing her to smile and lean against him. She enjoyed her fathers warmth one last time.

“‘You and other will be blessed with more soon, I expect to play with my new younger siblings one day.”’ She told him feeling her father wrap an arm around him and he chuckled.

“Don't know what will be ahead for us.”’ He softly told her and Neoma smiled.

“‘The great mother will bless you both again, She knows how much you both love each other.”’

“‘Ah well i think we will have our hands full with your younger brothers.”’ He said as he watched his younger sons messily eat their meal.

The twins seemly daring each other in some kind of race to eat more than the other while Kayin watched his older brothers Altan and Dagian stuff their mouths with as many meat chunks they could fit in them as he slowly chewed on his meat. Their mother scolds them to eat slowly before they choke on their food.

“‘Yea, Altan and Dagian are gonna make you old.”’

A silence took over them and she felt her father squeeze her slightly to him.

“‘You don't take shit from anyone ya hear me hun? Nothing will be easy for you now on.”’ He softly whispered to her and she smiled looking up at her dad.

“‘I am Neoma the daughter of Y/n, The granddaughter of the blood moon and I am the daughter of my father, a mighty warrior, a Quaritch.” She grinned at her father proudly.

‘“And we say Outstanding when told of the hard way.”’

Her siblings were put to bed long before her mother had sat down with her, Her father watching them in the den he dug into the dune they chose to stay by for the night. Her mothers hands braided the carved bead into the strand of hair that was her song chord. She enjoyed her mothers gentle hands before they moved away from her head for the last time.

‘“You are ready.”’ Y/n had told her confidently, making her smile.

“‘May Eywa guide you and the Guardians protect you daughter.”’

Neoma felt her mother's embrace one last time before she was left alone by the smoke of the fire as her mother joined her father and siblings in the den. Their first daughter stood greeted by the night sky light up with Ewyas stars and moved her palm up against the stars navigating the sky like she was taught by her mother who was taught by so many mothers before her and she silently thanked her mother and ancestors for such knowledges before she left the dying fire using the stars to guide her towards the mountains, to the path her brother Kalanchoe would have taken hours prior to her, and it did not take her long to find him through the nights hours passing.

Both siblings greeted each other in a tight embrace before they both moved through the sandy lands together with the excitement of adventure as they headed towards the mountain range they always were so curious about.

“‘The mountains first and then the forest yea?”’ Kalanchoe asked his younger sister as they followed the map burning into the sky their palms as their compasses.

“‘And from the forest we shall explore the skys!”’ Neoma told her brother excitedly as they went over the plans they made for nearly two years.

“‘Then we come back home to meet everyone at the oasis.”’ Kalanchoe reminded his sister as they kept moving.

‘“And we keep exploring until we find our own families…That is if you aint eaten by something before then.”’

“‘ Yes that is corr- Hey!”’

Sleeping snores moved through the den once more, like they had earlier this morning. Miles held Y/n to his chest as both watched their three younger sons sleep in a pile together mere feet away from them.

“‘Your awfully silent.”’ He softly spoke to his mate, feeling her shift against his chest, careful of his wound.

“‘I am praying to the mother to watch over them.”’ She said softly, feeling him hold her tightly and look at her with a soft smile.

“‘They'll be fine.”’ He assured her, this time making Y/n smile at him.

“‘there as remarkable as you sunshine, anyone who stands in their way will have a hell of a time.”’

Y/n chuckled softly and moved to kiss her mate feeling his lips against hers brought a peace in her as she pulled away.

“My Miles, You've came so far.”’ She softly whispered to him as she moved her forehead against his.

‘“I have you to guide me y/n.”’ He softly whispered to her staring into silver eyes that shone brightly as the moon.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I'm an (aro?-)ace who really wants to have a partner to share my life with because life is big and scary and wonderful and I don't want to do it alone. I do have a partner now (cis-het) and we've been together for over a year.

Sometimes I'm indifferent about our relationship, other times I love it. My friends are supportive of my ace-ness but were very obviously cautious at first about me going into a relationship due to the fear we simply may not be compatible (due to our differences in sex desire, etc.) To be fair, sometimes I still worry about this too.

But this has instilled in me a crazy worry, about what my friends would think if my relationship ended. I can just imagine the "I told you so", which certainly could be implied even if it isn't said outright. As if they believed it was never possible for me, as an aspec person, to make something work, with anyone. It's probably all in my head, but that's what makes it more difficult to shake.

If anyone has any wholesome stories / resources about successful allo-ace partnerships, that would be lovely to read x

I do know and know of a few people in allo-ace relationships (and even allo-ace/aro-spec if that ends up applying to you) that are going well and have been successful. Though I can't think of any current publicly shared ones right now I can point to (but if any followers know of any, please do share!).

It is important to remember that your relationship on its own does not have to be proof of whether these types of relationships can work or not, and that's an unfair pressure to put on yourself and that relationship. And if the relationship does end up not working out (though keep in mind this is far from inevitable), that's not proof of anything. Many relationships don't work out for a lot of reasons, it's definitely not proof that no relationship with similar dynamics can work out. Hopefully your friends aren't still expressing doubts, but if they are I would definitely recommend putting up a boundary there and asking them to stop.

Similarly if they were to say 'I told you so' in the event of a breakup they wouldn't be right for the same reasons stated above and you would be within your rights to shut that down too.

I know it's not easy, Anon. But do your best to keep these things in mind.

I will throw this out to followers too. As said above if anyone knows any allo-ace relationships that people are in and talking about publicly, please do share. Similarly if anyone wants to talk about their own relationships or point to anything else they think would be helpful for Anon, please do!

All the best, Anon! Good luck!