#i submitted my paper to my advisor yesterday

[todaysromano]

02.01.2024

Today, Romano woke up to a new beginning. This month can be different from last.

[serpentinesheldonserpentine]

Thank you, Mr P.

Or, who gave you a nudge that helped change your life?

I pressed Send and submitted my paper around 11 last night. I smiled because I am thriving in graduate school and happy to be learning from great professors in the best university in the world.

And I thought of Mr. P, our eight grade Social Studies teacher and more importantly , advisor to model making club.

I thought of him because I remember that day like it was yesterday. We’d attended assembly and were in high spirits by the time we got to club. Heck we missed Math for assembly.The speaker was from the high school we’d attend the next year and he introduced a new program called Distributive Education. Under Distributive Education a student attended class for a half day and went to a job for the afternoon. Half day school sounded pretty cool and going to a job made sense to us.

We calmed down and turned to the important business of making our models. After cleaning up we filed out, clutching our model boxes and heading to our lockers.

Hey Mr. W. Hold up a minute.

Sure Mr. P. What’s up?

So you liked the idea of half a day of school?

Yeah, who wouldn’t?

You’re a good student, D. Have you ever considered going to college after high school?

I..I guess not really. We never talk about it at home. Besides my dad never went to college.

I understand, D. Maybe it’s not for you. But I think it might be. Think about it, ok?

I did. And I ended up earning a bachelor’s degree ( and later an MBA) and changing the path of my life. I wish I could find Mr. P. and thank him for giving me that nudge.

Who helped you? Have you thanked them?

[seismologically-silly]

the bad news: so i have to fill out a senior thesis proposal form and submit it today. problem is. i didn’t know about it until yesterday. my advisor didn’t either so i don’t really have something to give them. i’ve asked to push the deadline back a week so my advisor and i can at least talk a bit about it and i can get whatever i come up with signed by him. 

the good news: i listened to a talk from one of his grad students today about seeing seismic noise generated by the wind and i remembered a conversation i had with the meteorology students last week about possibly finding tornadoes with this method also there was a tornado on or near campus during move in week so i can locate that to see if this method works AND use the data my professor got from people making ambient sound through COVID to try and filter out human activity from students moving in

the not-great news: i may have an idea but it’s only that. i have no way to know about a timetable or budget yet like the proposal is asking for :/

the okay news: i might just give them some bs on the proposal and when the project inevitably changes if they notice just go “yeah that’s funny how that happens” that’s how i got the high school bio paper through anyway

[phd-in-prog]

100 DOP | Day #5

Tuesday, 19 January 2021

One final IRB stipulation! The only issue is finding the right place to address it. Anyone else’s school’s IRB website just... confusing? I know what needs to be done, the site and my lack of experience with it just make it a little difficult to do it.

I didn’t take holidays into account when calculating my 100 days of productivity timeline! I had yesterday off, and I’ve made it a rule not to work on holidays unless absolutely necessary... and I have Wednesday off for inauguration day! For those who don’t know, I live in the DMV area.

Actually start reading advisor’s paper -- skim!

Find login info for communication with potential students

Submit IRB stipulation (once I have the submission clarification)

Self care workshop from university 

Shouldn’t do until after IRB approval

Continue narrowing down potential survey items

Read another chapter of Joyce’s Ulysses just to torture myself because I’m a sucker for long books

[eponymous-rose]

Thursday!

Terrible headache all day, and I had to take a nap at lunch, but I'm definitely starting to feel better.

Started with a great chat with my PhD advisor - for once, I had some new research to show her about the paper we're writing together! It's always just nice to catch up with her.

Got my review done - finally! - and submitted that to the editor. Positive overall, but the authors will have some work to do before resubmitting.

Also had to spend some time clarifying a point I made on Twitter yesterday when someone took issue with his interpretation of my meaning (of course) and while the conversation did start out in an awkward mansplainy way, we eventually landed on the same side of wanting better mentorship for grad students.

After months of no news on a side project, I just got an email from the PI and we're still on track! Basically, we're going to be working together on a project that could have an 8-figure budget over five years. Unreal. Even if it doesn't go anywhere, it's a delight to be involved and daydream about the amazing science and outreach we could do!

[agallimaufryofoddments]

2 AM panicking over thesis and last-minute re-registration idiocy.

Had a moment of real panic an hour ago when I couldn’t remember my login credentials for the site through which we’re meant to submit (re-)enrollment applications for our academic studies. The deadline for re-enrollment is tomorrow (August 31st), and I was worried I’d have to reset the password and wait more than a day for a new one. I spent 10-15 minutes frantically hunting down a piece of paper, and more minutes besides trying to figure things out.

Luckily I managed to reset the credentials, log in, and submit a (re)enrollment application, but I’m not out of the woods yet, really. I mean, I’m still pending a confirmation of receipt, and I’m not sure whether what I’ve submitted is enough to count as a re-registration. If I remember my first enrollment, there were extra steps; I know the registration won’t be considered ‘full’ or ‘proper’ re-enrollment until tuition payment is sorted.

I may have to place a call as soon as working hours open tomorrow (so around 2 AM my time, 8 AM uni time), depending...

...Honestly I’m not entirely sure that I’m mean to re-register, but a previous email seemed to imply or expect this ought to take place, so...cue last-minute frantic attempts. I’m drafting an email as well to document the application and explain the circumstances--though I guess my re-registration is for an entire academic 2020-2021 year, the plan still isn’t to actually spend another year as a full-time student--it’s to finish my thesis ASAP. So I guess the registration is a formality, but at the same time I’d need to explain the situation and appeal for a refund of a fully year’s worth of tuition accordingly.

I’m not sure if I can appeal for a refund until after the thesis is done (and, God willing, I actually graduate), but updating the university on what’s going on is...I should do that.

Then there’s the thesis itself. I can’t take much more of this. I keep not sending a complete first draft to my supervisor; the latest plan was to send it by mid-August and the final draft in September, but already there are only two days left of August. How? What the hell is wrong with me? I hardly left my bed yesterday. Overslept -- consequence of all-nighters + not wanting to face reality, I guess. I can’t move on from the thesis until I’ve finished it, so I’m trying to transmute this sick “I want this out of my life” feeling into action...I hardly can stand to think about it.

The relief that I felt at being able to immediately reset my credentials (and avert even more critical/worse scenarios) was almost too kind, since, as I said, I’m not out of the woods yet. Not to mention, I’m the one who got myself into this situation in the first place. Every day for the past 1-2 weeks I’ve said “right, let’s get that enrollment done today just to be safe” and...?

It’s 2:08 AM, now, and I’m struggling to decide if I should try to sleep for a few hours or stay up. Since I only slithered out of bed around 5 PM, and (I think?) meds and tea are still in effect, I’m not sure how easily I’d fall asleep--never mind the likelihood of stress incurred over the last hour keeping me awake. On the other hand, all I want to do is sleep. It’s an escape from real life, after all.

Then there’s the guilt over sleeping when I should be working (again, especially after the stressful last 1.5 hours re: enrollment)--but beyond drafting (+sending) that email and maybe filling out one other form, what else can I do regarding the enrollment application on a Sunday besides refresh and hope they send receipts outside of working hours? Since it’s 2:13 AM, I also can’t ask anyone for advice here right now.

An acquaintance/friend said he’d call to make sure I’m awake in the morning, once he awakes early afternoon his time, so regardless of whether I sleep or not, the goal is to avoid a noon start at all costs. I cannot afford to waste Sunday. I cannot. I cannot keep doing this. Doing this to myself, my advisor, my parents, I cannot keep on, at all. I’m so desperately sick of it.

2:24 AM. Despite sleeping so much yesterday, I feel tired. Despite the stress/guilt/meds/tea, would I be able to fall asleep quickly (despite my usual inability to do just that)? If I set alarms for, say, 6:30-7 AM, hoping to catch 3-4 hours sleep...would that work? Finish email draf(s) without sending them, fill out form, then try to catch a few hours?

It’s either that, or “finish email drafts / fill form / stay up working,” with the understanding that an all-nighter is pointless if it’s not spent actually being productive. If i spend the next five hours awake but not accomplishing anything, I’m a clown.

Write email draft(s) to document application submission and/or explain circumstances 

form

Write quick urgent to-do in case I sleep

Either try to sleep for a few hours (alarm set: 6:32 AM) or spend these hours working

Expect wake-up call from friend probably sometime around 9-10 AM. Friend will want productivity session

[a-mountain-girl]

alright it’s venting time because I think better when I write and I can’t find anyone irl who I could talk to about all of this.

But before I begin if someone could bring me a gigantic bar of chocolate (milk pls I’m so sick of dark chocolate that’s all “santa” gave me for Christmas like... did mom forget I don’t like dark chocolate?) or a pint of peanut butter, pistachio, or moose tracks ice cream that would help.

Like, I understand that this hasn’t been a bad day necessarily just a bad hour that has since spiraled into a several bad hours and I’m more upset about underlying issues than I am about what happened. So what happened? 

Well it all seems innocuous enough. I went to my senior capstone class and met my classmates (all of whom I know from other classes) and the professor (who I’ve taken a class from before, this is important). We talked about the syllabus and class structure and I exercised an admirable amount of self-control in not excusing myself to go scream in the snow. I really, really wanted to go do that. 

The problems are 1) This is the only professor I have ever given a bad rating and for good reason. I don’t want to spend too much time on this but at first I was thinking “this guy seems pretty chill if a bit annoying” and then when he was talking about his education and specialty I realized... this is That Professor. This is That Guy. This is the one I actually called a dick in the course evaluation. Because I took the required survey of american literature from colonialism to the civil war course from this guy; this was online which made things worse. Now this was supposed to be a LITERATURE course, a SURVEY of LITERATURE. His course design was literally 50% ART, another 30% was dense paragraphs about history (I’m ADHD I absolutely cannot get through gigantic blocks of dry, useless text within a reasonable time frame), another 20% was bits of literature and media that was not relevant to the time period because his big thing was “How are these things influenced or developed from early American literature and/or history?!” Like.... I DON’T KNOW BECAUSE WE HAVEN’T STUDIED IT DIPSHIT! Then to add to it his expectations were that C is Average bullshit like, you’re setting your students up for failure when you set it up like C is the grade you expect to give them and to get an A a student has to go above and beyond like no, if a student meets expectations they should get an A. You’re just an asshole. Then his expectations for regular coursework were buried on a completely different website and never repeated, they also didn’t make sense. They were not clear. And then his idea of “feedback” is to ramble for paragraphs on a tangent and NEVER TELL ME WHY TF HE GAVE ME THE GRADE HE DID! Feedback needs to include an explanation of what the student did right and wrong so they can improve in the future. His rambling along with the lack of clarity in instructions made it impossible to get good, much less consistent grades. I’d try to follow all the instructions, even put in extra effort and get excited and I’d get a poor grade on an assignment in spite of doing everything right according to his incomprehensible instructions and then I’d half-ass a discussion post, turn it in late, and get an A and three paragraphs of this guy rambling excitedly in the comments. Like, it was impossible to figure out what he actually wanted us to do and then I was already mad enough about the lack of focus on what the class was actually supposed to be about and all this led to me throwing in the towel and either half-assing everything or just skipping assignments because I couldn’t care anymore. I have no desire to study under this buffoon’s “guidance” again.

2) One of the classmates is Obnoxious Man, who I will point out isn’t even graduating this spring and therefore really doesn’t need to be in this class and I think he shouldn’t be. I’m uncomfortable enough with the professor but I would be willing to give him a second chance in light of his whole thing about it being “student-led” and it being easier to communicate in person. But Obnoxious Man makes this impossible. The professor wants us sharing and working together all semester. I am not comfortable sharing anything remotely personal such as a reading I find fascinating or working with this man. I will not be giving him any access to me outside of the classroom. He will not be getting my phone number or my email. His vibes are disgusting and I’ve been dealing with boys and men just like him since kindergarten. I don’t care if he hasn’t actually done anything to threaten me, based on previous experience I won’t even take a chance. The second to last guy like this spent weeks harassing me because he wanted me to date him, the last guy would steal my stuff and stalk me. I had to get the school equivalent to a restraining order which he still found every excuse to violate. I can’t do this but I also can’t just drop the class because I, unlike Obnoxious Man, have to graduate this spring. I thought I could tolerate him after last semester but there’s a big difference between having to put up with him in discussion-based classes during half of the week and him having access to me.

3) I was thrown by the actual expectations laid out in the syllabus. I thought I would be doing a whole new, intensive project. I had a great idea and was actually getting excited. Instead we’re supposed to do group projects (see above for issues with that) and a personal project which will be revising an old paper like... when I finish a class I am done. D O N E. I never want to see that crap again. I don’t think I even still have half of that material! There isn’t one of those papers that I want to look at, much less expand! And how is this really challenging? The professor, Mr. Dickhead, went on and on about how important revising is to critical writing yada yada yada but maybe I don’t care?! Maybe I’m only in this degree as preparation for grad school in a different area? I hate writing critical analysis 99% of the time. It’s like pulling teeth. That’s not a great metaphor because I’m now expected to drag all these papers I want to forget about back into the horrible light of day. And I don’t know if these expectations were invented by the department or by the professor so I don’t know who to be mad at or if I could possibly request some sort of independent project.

4) Because of this and some things said by other students in their introductions (all positive things btw) I started into a reactionary spiral of feeling inadequate, childish, stupid, helpless, etc. etc. Like, one of these classmates is a finalist for a Fullbright scholarship which apparently had to be applied to in October and I didn’t know any of this?! Like that stuff is important but nobody tells me things and I don’t know how people know about all these scholarships and awards and programs and stuff that is helpful. It’s hard enough just making it through the day and doing a mediocre job on my assignments. It took me months to get up the courage to ask professors for recommendations. Filling out graduate applications has been hell and I had to tell my advisor yesterday that she’s not finished with the recs because there’s on in her inbox she missed and I still have to submit one more application that I was feeling good about yesterday and now am about ready to give up on. And the writing center isn’t open and I don’t want to be a burden on my advisor and talk to her about any of these issues...

[aimlessinspace]

Fellowship update and thoughts on rejection in academia

Fellowship update: Got a “no thank you” for one and am in the second round of the other. Submitted my materials for round two yesterday. Fingers crossed and kind thoughts please friends (because I REALLY REALLY want that position)!

It also made me think a bit about rejection and academia. I think there is a pitfall of seeing people getting lots of things and being like “H*ck! What do they got going on that I don’t?!”. So. I asked my advisor who is fancy AF and gets lots of things. She told me that she applies for everything and gets told no all the time. It’s just that most people don’t talk about the rejections. You hear about the one “Yes!” people get, not the 15 “No!”s that they also received. So, know even the fanciest people are getting told no thank you on a regular basis.

And just because you get a rejection, doesn’t mean you don’t have it going on! It just means that wasn’t the best fit at the moment. Example: I didn’t get into a PhD program the first time around. I did my MS and that experience allowed me to write a paper and a thesis and present at a workshop at the Institute for Nuclear Theory and give a talk at a conference in Rome. And made me 110% more prepared to be where I am now - a PhD candidate doing research and applying for all the things. As long as you are persistent you will accomplish your goals! 

And always know that I super believe in you!

[sassafraslowrey]

forgot to post this yesterday! weekly writing update:

Weekly Writing Update 1. Emailed with an editor who passsed on pitches I sent due to budgets 2. Marketing emails re a ongoing conversation with one of my publishersf 3. Need to mockup 10 pages of sample for the new book “Chew This Journal” 4. Emailed my publisher about new articles 5. An article I wrote about canine conditioning ran on the AKC’s website 6. Got new software for my ipad to help me with layout for a new book project 7. Turned around some edits for an editor of a print magazine 8. Won on a manual Patreon review determining that my account wasn’t “adult content” 9. Wrote and posted a month in review for my Patrons 10. PR followup emails 11. PR / followup emails with one of my publishers 12. Sales followups with dog businesses potentially interested in selling Tricks In The City 13. Followed up with a local craft retailer about William To The Rescue 14. Youtube 15. Email 16. Resarch for an article 17. organized/outlined an article 18. Figured out a new organiation for my planner that allows me to track all books in progress and what i need to do weekly 19. Read a book for school 20. Drafted an article 21. Got a print magazine in the mail with an article I wrote in it 22. Drafted an article for a big mainstream publication 23. Received the mockup promotional text for my activity book and approved it! 24. Wrote a annotation( book-based short critical paper for my MFA program) 25. Drafted process letters for my MFA advisor and my second faculty reader 26. Atting for my MFA packet due next monday 27. Drafted an article 28. Mocked up 10 pages of my activity book to send to my publisher for their illustrator 29. Gave my patrons a sneak peek at a new project I’m working on 30. Anthology i’m in was named a top book for winter my Marie Claire magazine 31. Was able to announce i’m going to be in a huge anthology releasing in january 32. Sent mocked up pages to my publisher 33. Found out that Tricks In the City will be sold as a recommended book by a big dog site 34. Finished reviewing edits/comments on my creative thesis from my copyeditor 35. Created a table of contents for my creative thesis 36. Edited a big article for a huge mainstream outlet 37. Submitted the biggest article of my career 38. Edited my 3rd (of 4) packet for the semester 39. Sent my final draft of my creative thesis to my second faculty reader for my MFA program 40. Sent the final draft of my creative thesis plus the rest of my packet to my advisor 41. Read a book 42. Caught up on my daily doodles 43. Shared a monthly writing prompt with my patrons 44. Found out that Tricks In The City is being given by a wonderful dog trainer to rescue clients to inspire their guardians 45. Edited an article for a publication 46. Submitted an article to editors for a publication

[bereahci]

Work Paid Off

Yesterday was an exciting day. Our team's project was accepted for the International Symposium on Academic Makerspaces 2022(ISAM) conference in Atlanta, Georgia. This acceptance brings me much joy because this is my first research. Coming into this research, I did not know what to expect but still, my teammates and I worked hard to complete our objectives. We faced stepbacks but overcame them. I became nervous when my teammate showed me previous submissions from last year. I thought we did not have a chance because people of all backgrounds were among the participants. As our project progressed, my confidence gradually started to restore daily. Even though this conference is competition-focused, I began to believe that our project had a fighting chance.

When we got our altar to work correctly, I would post snippets of it working on Snapchat. My snaps generated a lot of conversions, mainly questions about what the altar was and how it worked. Other people would just leave messages expressing how cool our altar is. These replies increased my confidence in this project and my belief that the ISAM committee will accept it for the conference. My hope now is that we fulfill all requirements needed so that we can attend the conference. I believe that this admission means that our paper gets to be published. If my belief is true, then I have a reason to celebrate. I have been considering attending grad school after graduation with my bachelor's degree. A publication will give me a good look at my CV and resume.

The program has not yet finished, but I can say that it has had a significant influence on me. One indirect benefit of this program was its schedule. It allowed me personal time, which I used to hone or improve my skills through Udemy. Second, it showed me that there are many opportunities. Thanks to my research advisor Dr. Jones who gave us options for conferences we could submit to. Thankfully, we were admitted to one. Last, it allowed me to apply skills acquired from multiple disciplines to a beautiful and remarkable project.

[stephanidftba]

Venting

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I’m so stressed out

My roommate is Going Through Some Shit emotionally and sometimes has breakdowns that include the inability to physically move! A few days ago I got a call from Campus Police because they found my roommate just standing outside. Yesterday I found them sitting very still on the couch and softly asked if they were awake, because they have NO sleep schedule and nap anywhere, anytime. They were awake, just unable to move for a bit. A few hours ago I got a call from them at the hospital, they don’t know when they’ll be back. 

My girlfriend’s mom has been fighting cancer, a couple days ago my gf texted me that the doctors gave her mom a few weeks to live. I don’t know what to do with that information. (We’re long-distance so I can’t go see her.)

The teacher for my Capstone class teaches so slowly that out of the three small essays that make up our final essay, we’ve submitted one. With 4 weeks left in the semester. Also we’re supposed to do some kind of presentation at the end of the semester???? 

My Gothic Lit professor hasn’t gotten back to me about whether some of my sources are too old to be used in my reverse research paper. I emailed her Wednesday at 3:30 in the afternoon, it’s Monday at 9:30 in the evening. 

My YA Lit professor just assigned our final paper on Thursday with research proposal due Tuesday. Over break in the next few days I need to reread Mockingjay and HP:HBP with an eye for propaganda, and figure out what my thesis is going to be. 

I have a final essay for 18th Century Lit that I’ve been working on, plus I need to read The Old English Baron over break and come up with a presentation on explained gothic and some discussion questions for the class. 

AND my admissions advisor for grad school keeps calling me like ‘how are things coming on the next part of your application?’ and I honestly just want to be like “IT’LL BE DONE WHEN IT’S DONE!” 

Don’t bother telling me to visit the campus counselor, my roommate informed me they’re understaffed and booking weeks out, plus I don’t have time for that because the counselor won’t have any solutions. 

[backinthepaingame]

Things No One Tells You: Migraines, College, and Disability

At first I wanted to write about the tangible fog that lifts when I haven’t had a migraine for two weeks—though that streak broke yesterday. Then I remembered I’ve covered that before.

Instead, I want to focus on something I originally wanted to do with this blog, which is share things I’ve learned from having chronic daily migraines for 24 years.

When I was at the inpatient unit I had some serious flashbacks to much harder times because of two teen girls I met during group activities. One was a home-schooled 16 year old. The other, 19, was on medical leave from Tim Horton’s, where she had forced herself to work 12-hour shifts while heavily medicated. She loved her job but never thought to ask about accommodations for her condition. So, for the past several months she’s been staying in her darkened bedroom attending only to her dogs.

I could relate to both of girls. If either of them choose to go to college, though, I hope they find this blog, because there are a million things nobody ever told me that could’ve made it much easier from the beginning. The piece of advice I have right now: if you’re a migraineur, find your university’s office the deals with students with disabilities, STAT.

It wasn’t till my junior year that I found out my school had one. The only reason I found out was because I was researching an article about college students who had to navigate their campuses with a wheelchair. I was interviewing one disability advocate and asked, by chance, if migraines could be considered a disability. She said they absolutely were. By the time I turned in the article, the semester was over but I was preparing for summer classes and decided to check in with my school’s disability office to see what services—if any—it could offer me.

My academic advisors were apologetic that they hadn't thought of this option sooner. Honestly, though, I seriously lucked out where instructors were concerned. When I was sick, they understood, and very few hassled me.

That being said the disability center was a godsend. I found out I was eligible to have designated notetakers for when I missed class; I could ask for longer deadlines for completing assignments; I could take exams orally instead of written essay tests; I couldn’t be penalized for illness-related absences, and if I couldn’t get everything completed before the end of the semester, professors could submit my grades at a later date.

It might not be obvious to outsiders why these accommodations would be helpful, but anyone who knew me well during the harder patches of college gets it. Not only was I still dealing with some level of pain daily—I was battling the side effect of over a dozen medications. It was at times difficult to tell which was more debilitating—headaches or side effects. I was so forgetful that I would show up to classes I’d been going to for weeks at the wrong time, or the wrong day. In the days before cell phones, I would blank on frequently used phone numbers. I avoided classes that required rote memorization, but remembering even basic material in the time allotted for exams left me scrambling. My meds were so sedating that even when I was in class I dozed off, rendering my notes unreadable. I napped constantly between classes. Pulling all nighters to finish a paper or study for a test is unadvisable for people with chronic pain.

Had I known the disability center existed when I was a freshman, I might have passed econ the first time!

Migraineurs on the whole, at least the ones I know, are a conscientious bunch. We don’t want to cause anyone else extra work, get in their way, or most of all, explain why we can’t do something, whether it’s attending a social event or getting to class.

So at the beginning of every semester, I’d meet with every professor and give them paperwork from the disability center asking for certain accommodations. The paperwork stated that they couldn’t ask me what my condition was or make me explain my symptoms. I was always willing to share, but I can think of a million conditions that would be uncomfortable to discuss with a stranger.

This also taught me another important lesson: it’s OK to ask for help. We all need it and most of us still avoid it.

(On a lighter note, I created a new, sunny writing nook in our condo. Isn’t it cute?)

[turos-teszta]

after a very short & kind of stressful break, yesterday started what i think will be a good weekend. (this is just for me to collect my thoughts tbh but hello all) - slept in & then finished the final exam for my online class. finishing with like a B average, which might bother me otherwise, but like. i’m burnt out and it’s a fine grade - went to work, and slowly but surely getting a start on moving towards my black belt requirements - turned down both a babysitting gig and picking up a shift at my new second job for tonight (saturday hi) so i could give myself time to relax instead of work for once! self care yo - saw good pals, smoked a little ganj, but not so much that i was on another planet or something, like, just enough to relax. v good. - got empanadas !! yes + 100 emoji + 100 emoji + sunglasses emoji - saw Hidden Figures & was a lil 2 moved by male characters performing small thoughtful acts of kindness/love lmao. but it was a wholesome & enjoyable film that i hope a lot of kids see - got home before midnight! revolutionary!!!! - played Sims for like 2 hours instead of just 45 minutes before bed but still got to work on time this morning so now, once i leave work today, i gotta!!: -shower. skin care. shave. moisturize. take care of my body! -clean my room, water my plants, wear something cute and warm :) -write an email to my feminist club advisor bc idk if i can do it this semester, honestly. like. i’ve ranted about this a lot before but. while i don’t wanna let the club die, i really don’t think i can be prez & do 2 jobs & a full class load & work towards my black belt & prep for conferences i’m submitting papers to. that’s just. a lot!! -email back my philosophy professor from last semester who had a lot of really kind things to say about a presentation i did & encouraged me to go into academia & was just very validating seeing as he’s an academic+member of the school community i highly respect :’) -email the conferences i want to submit to & confirm that i can submit more than one paper (both of which are about sex and either art or literature bc ofc) -draw! paint!! do something creative before it’s time to go back to school next week jfc -start drafting my transfer essay so i can have it done & my application out of the way within the next week -drink hot cocoa and stuff, see if my mom will buy me microwavable vegetarian meals -see boyfriend?? idk? who knows?? the saturday evening is my oyster y’all~~~

[mathematicianadda]

[My PhD Dissertation](https://ift.tt/31D8gLb) - A New Approach to the Collatz Conjecture and Related Problems Using Harmonic Analysis on the Ring of Profinite Integers

Some of you might have come across me when I made my plight known in this post about Terrence Tao's recent progress with the infamous conjecture.

In the discussion that followed, I said—several times—that I would post the links to my paper on arXiv once it became available there, supposedly some time yesterday afternoon.

I have never used arXiv before, and my experience thus far has been nothing less than a morass of disenchantment and unwanted stress.

As of now, the release has been delayed 'till sometime tomorrow, GMT. Or maybe the day after tomorrow; or, perhaps the day before or in-between.

And so, I say: to hell with it. I like Google Drive and Google Docs. I know how to use them, and am comfortable doing so. As such, here is the link to my paper on Google Drive.

Here is the abstract for the arXiv version, if and when it ever finally becomes accessible to the public:

It is known that the Collatz Conjecture (and the study of similar maps, here called "Hydra maps") can be stated in terms of solution sets of functional equations; or, equivalently, the fixed points of linear operators on spaces of analytic functions. Rather than studying potential fixed points of such operators, we examine their effect on the singularities of functions. To that end, we introduce the notion of a "dreamcatcher", an object which encodes the location and "virtual residue" of the singularities of an analytic function of a specified growth rate along the boundary of the function's region of convergence. Dreamcatchers can be given rigorous footing as elements of the Hilbert space L2(Q/Z) of complex-valued functions on Q/Z which are square-integrable with respect to the counting measure on Q/Z. The aforementioned linear operators (called here "permutation operators") are shown to "conserve" the singularities of their fixed points, in the sense that the dreamcatcher of a fixed point is itself the fixed point of the operator induced on L2(Q/Z) (the "dreamcatcher operator") by the permutation operator. Using Pontryagin duality and the Mean Ergodic Theorem, the fixed points of the operators acting on dreamcatchers for simple-pole-like singularities are completely determined for a large class of Hydra maps. This enables qualitative conclusions to be made about those Hydra maps' orbit classes in the non-negative integers.

The linked paper clocks in at about 116 pages, counting the table of contents, bibliography, and so on and so forth. The length should not be feared; the other halves of my life consist of creative writing and excessively doting on details; one of my professors once remarked that I write mathematics as if I'm writing for people who don't understand anything.

Pages 6 through 9 give an overview of my approach, and should be sufficient for the reader to determine whether or not they are interested in seeing the fruits of my labor for themselves.

As for my purpose in doing this here on r/math, as I say in the paper's foreword:

for now, my aim in presenting this provisional edition is to attract attention to my work, particularly from the analytical numbery-theory kind of experts unfortunately absent from my current academic residence, the University of Southern California (USC).

My advisor is a kindly algebraic number theorist skilled at politely ducking in cover whenever my ideas go whoosh over his head. He gives great personal advice, and is very encouraging, but he is in no position to gauge the significance of my work, let alone the technical details, or the many ideas and questions I have as to what to do next with my various findings.

To that end, for those who have managed to reach the end of my paper (more or less), here is a brief write up of some of the key highlights of what—for brevity's sake—I decided to omit from this version of the main paper. Of special interest in it is the result I call the "Smoking Gun": a limit of averaged partial sums of binomial coefficients which behaves in one way for the 3x+1 map and in a completely different way for the ax+1 maps, where a is any positive odd integer. If it can be used to make the indicated estimates work out for the case of the Collatz map, it could potentially be a important step toward a proof of the Collatz Conjecture, in that it would reduce the proof of the Conjecture to a proof of the zeta-function meromorphy I conjectured here, modulo certain technical details involving the boundary behavior of the related set-series.

I thank anyone and everyone (and the r/math community in general) in advance for any time they choose to devote to my little corner of the world.

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[tuananh-me]

May 24, 2017

Yesterday I finally submitted my paper. We originally planned to submit it back in March, but at that time we did not have enough details and materials for the paper. This time we had a good story, good experiments and well-articulated arguments. As always, my advisor was very helpful. She stayed up late to help with writing and fixing papers. Now that’s one less thing to worry about. The next…