#i stopped the video for five minutes to compose myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fcble · 1 year

Text

IN FULL BLOOM is a a forty-five minute documentary describing the writing process and development of Fable’s second studio album. The video consists of interview segments with the members interspersed with behind the scenes footage and vlogs. It focuses mostly on Yejun, who was responsible for most of the album’s production. The video is split into twelve parts that the describe the overall production of the album and focus on each individual track.

INTRODUCTION

“Two, three! Once upon a time! Hello, we are Fable!” Jaeseop leads the group in their introduction. The six of them sit in a row, Jaeseop and Yejun in the middle. They both hold copies of the album, the cover’s iridescent pears shining in the light.

“After a long time, we’ve returned with our second full album. It represents many of our feelings and memories, and we hope you will listen or have already listened to it well,” Jaeseop says. “For the first time, the production was led by our very own member, Yejun.”

He seems more proud of this than Yejun, who acknowledges the praise with only a slight smile.

“I couldn’t have done it alone,” Yejun says. “Writing and composing an album is a huge task, and Intak, Mingeun, and Haksu were also extremely instrumental throughout the production. Additionally, we worked quite a bit with our labelmates, Neon Nights, who were extremely helpful and insightful.”

“Please be sure to enjoy the album!” Jaeseop concludes with a bow.

TRACK 1: 유령

"Despite being the first track on the album, '유령' was one of the last songs I wrote," Yejun says. He sits next to Byeonghwi, who nods along silently with everything he says. "I needed something to set the tone for the rest of the album that follows.

"So '유령' is an indie rock inspired song that describes the feeling of someone who's been left on read."

"We picked this as the first track together," Byeonghwi says. "Andrew-hyung had multiple songs written and he asked us to choose the best one. He texted the group chat first about it." He leans forward, closer to the camera.

"He never texts first. Most of the time he doesn't even respond. He's the one ghosting us."

Byeonghwi seems proud of his connection back to their song.

"Don't be so dramatic," Yejun says, playfully elbowing him in the side. "You picked this song, right?"

Byeonghwi nods. "It was almost unanimous. I think Haksu-hyung and Intak-hyung were the only two who voted for other songs."

"There were better songs," Intak says. Haksu stares at him, brow creasing into a frown for a split second.

“I thought it was difficult to sing,” Haksu says. "I wanted to consider how the song fit us as a group."

"Andrew is in our group. He knows what we're capable of."

Haksu pouts. "I only wanted to be considerate. Andrew-hyung ended up singing most of the song."

“That’s nothing new,” Intak says. “It’s always the two of you singing every part.”

“Me? I didn’t give myself a vote. I like all my songs equally. If I could make that decision myself, I wouldn’t have had to ask everyone,” Yejun says. “It’s better when we’re all involved. Then it becomes the group’s song, not just mine.”

“You have to have had a favorite,” Byeonghwi says persistently. “Something you hoped we would pick?”

Yejun laughs. “I really didn’t.”

Byeonghwi doesn’t look satisfied.

Haksu stands in the recording booth, glaring at Yejun, who sits on the other side of the glass.

“The feeling still isn’t right,” Yejun says.

“And I said you need to be more specific than that! You can’t just say the ‘feeling’ and leave it at that. It doesn’t mean anything to me.”

The camera flips, to show Mingeun and Byeonghwi sitting behind Yejun.

“This is why we only release one album a year,” Mingeun says quietly, holding a microphone close to his mouth. The argument can still be heard in the background. “Andrew-hyung is a perfectionist.”

“You are too,” Byeonghwi says. “I don’t think that’s the reason. Andrew-hyung didn’t even write anything on the last album.”

“I don’t want people to stop listening to the album thirty seconds into the first song,” Yejun says, voice rising to almost a fever pitch in the background.

“Then do it yourself.”

“Fine.”

The camera flips back to Haksu and Yejun switching places. Haksu stands with his back to the camera, arms crossed. In the recording booth, Yejun sings the same part.

“They both sounded the same to me,” Byeonghwi says when he finishes.

TRACK 2: GEPPETTO

"If 'Ghost' is the sonic start to the album, then 'Geppetto' is the thematic start. It started as something I wrote for fun in my free time, but I realized it fit well with the theme of the album," Yejun says. He sits in the middle of the frame, flanked by Byeonghwi and Haksu.

“Which is?” Byeonghwi prompts.

“Youth. Being young and carefree. There are multiple songs inspired by fairy tales, or at least with that sort of feeling. I thought it fit well with our group.”

“Is Pinocchio one of your favorite stories?” Haksu asks. “In the same way Mingeun really liked The Little Mermaid?”

“The lyrics came later,” Yejun says. “It was something that just felt right. You of all people should be familiar with that.” He casts a deliberate glance at Haksu.

“It was just a question,” Haksu says sulkily.

“Can we start over?” Byeonghwi asks the camera.

TRACK 3: HOME RUN

The video switches to portrait mode for the third track. A blurred out Vlive icon is still visible in the corner. On screen, Haksu lies on a hotel room bed.

"Where are you now?" Haksu says, reading a comment. "We're in Andrew-hyung's hometown, Colorado. We have a break for a little bit, so I came to say hi." He waves the camera.

He's easily distracted by something off screen. "Are you working?"

"Yes." Yejun's voice comes from somewhere out of sight.

Haksu stands up and walks across the room, camera pointed at the ground. He's wearing Line Friends socks.

"Can I show this on the live?" he asks. He repositions the phone, balancing it on the tiny hotel room desk, so that he, Yejun, and Yejun's computer are all in frame.

"You're already showing it," Yejun says.

“You should take a break,” Haksu says, resting his head in one palm as he kneels next to Yejun. “You’re always working.”

“You’re working too.”

“It’s different.” He takes a closer look at the screen. “What are you working on, anyway?”

“Our new song. It’s finished, except for the recording. I thought a different environment might change what I thought of it.” “Can you give us a spoiler?” Haksu asks.

Yejun looks like he wants to say no, but he unplugs his headphones and lets the music play for a fraction of a second, a bright, brassy instrumental that sounds especially tinny coming from his laptop speakers.

“That’s all I can share,” he says. “Please look forward to the album’s release.”

“The title track, ‘Home Run,’ is a retro, swing-inspired track that incorporates piano, brass, and Fable’s signature Korean instruments,” Jaeseop says, reciting the song’s description. All six active Fable members sit in a row against a plain white backdrop.

He continues on. "It was written by our own members: Yejun, Mingeun, Haksu, and Intak. Yejun also produced the track."

“Not only me,” Yejun says quickly. “Intak helped a lot. We also indebted to Neon Nights’ Hwajung-ssi, whose experience was very valuable to the creation of the song.” His tone brightens suddenly. “Please make sure to show it a lot of love!” He makes a heart over his head. Next to him, Intak looks nauseous.

Yejun stands in a darkened room, lit only by the bright white theme of the Powerpoint presentation projected onto the wall behind him. His audience is one person: Zenith Entertainment CEO Lee Taein. The title of the presentation is written in two languages, large Hangul text over a smaller title in English: A Proposal for the Future Musical and Conceptual Direction of Fable.

Yejun rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt and begins his presentation. “Over the past few years, Fable has enjoyed a not insignificant modicum of success. I have greatly enjoyed my time as a group member. However, as we approach our fourth year as a group and given the current overall state of kpop, I believe it would be beneficial for all of us to begin to play a larger role in our professional development.”

The rest of Yejun’s speech is cut. Almost immediately, he’s bowing at the waist to Taein. “Thank you for listening.”

Taein remains expressionless for a moment. Then he stands from his seat and says, “I look forward to seeing what you come up with.”

Yejun breaks into a grin, nearly folding himself in half with his bow.

TRACK 4: BREAK OF DAWN

“The next song, ‘Break of Dawn,’ is a transition between the title track and the rest of the album. It keeps some of the same brass and piano instrumentals as ‘Home Run,'" Jaeseop says, introducing the next song.

"We'll also be promoting it," Mingeun chimes in. "The concept and choreography show a refined side of Fable."

"'Break of Dawn' is one of the songs I produced completely on my own," Yejun says. "It was a daunting task. I wanted something that not only fit with the title track, but also something that was unmistakably a Fable song. Something that our fans could listen to and recognize immediately as one of our songs."

Mingeun stands in the center of the group, counting off beats as he leads the choreography in slow, exaggerated movements. His gaze is glued to the practice room mirror, until he spots an incorrect movement.

“Andrew!”

In the back of the formation, Yejun groans and tries to hide behind Intak.

“You wrote the song! You should know where the downbeat is!”

“How do you know I’m not the only one on beat and the rest of you are wrong?”

Mingeun turns around and scowls at him. “I’m not wrong.”

The singling out of one member signals a break for the rest of them.

“In my nightmares, I imagine the military is like this,” Haksu says, lying spread-eagled on the floor.

“It can’t be as bad,” Intak says, sitting next to him. “Mingeun won’t be there.”

“I hope Kiyoung-hyung is enjoying his Mingeun-free time,” Haksu says.

Mingeun takes a break from his private lesson with Yejun to glare at the two of them.

TRACK 5: TALK TO ME

"This is my favorite song," Byeonghwi says, leaning so far forward in his seat that it looks like he'll fall. "Please make sure to show it lots of love."

"You're getting ahead of yourself," Yejun says, nudging him gently in the shoulder, though not hard enough for Byeonghwi to fall.

"Right. The fifth song is called, 'Talk to Me.' It was written and produced by Andrew-hyung himself." Byeonghwi seems to take more pride than Yejun in something he didn't do.

"'Talk to Me' was another later addition to the album. I needed something that would bridge the title tracks to the rest of the album."

"It's such a fun song," Byeonghwi interrupts. "This is an unpopular opinion, because Andrew-hyung told me he doesn't like it very much and it almost wasn't released."

"You can't say that," Yejun says playfully. “I love all these songs equally.”

“I can do it better,” Byeonghwi insists from where he stands, almost completely blocked by the microphone.

Separated by the glass of the recording booth, Yejun sighs and leans back in his seat. "Everyone else has to record their parts too. You sounded good the first sixteen times."

"This is the intro. It can't be good, it has to be perfect."

"Fine, try it again."

Byeonghwi immediately launches into his seventeenth take.

Yejun stares directly into the camera. "I can't say no to him," he says softly, looking miserable. In the background, Byeonghwi can be heard repeating the introductory lines over and over to himself.

TRACK 6: GRAVITY

“‘Gravity’ is the halfway point of the album. It’s a bit slower than every song so far, and every song that follows,” Yejun says, introducing the song. “Every Fable album has to have at least one vocal-focused song. Usually, they’re at the end of the tracklist and we never perform them. I wanted to do something different this time, and that’s how it came to be here.”

The camera cuts to a grainy video of a dimly lit studio. For a few seconds, the only thing in focus is a laptop screen, open to Logic Pro. The view pans up until the inside of the recording booth can be seen. Haksu stands inside, headphones on, staring intently at a stack of papers and mouthing silently to himself.

“Haksu,” Yejun says, causing him to look up.

“Hyung!” Haksu hides himself behind the paper. “You can’t seriously be filming now.” His voice comes out slightly muffled.

“Why not? You sound good. We can do the second verse now.”

“It’s only a guide,” Haksu says, but there’s a note of pride in his voice. He starts with the second verse, still hiding his face behind his lyrics.

A couple of lines later, he pauses and lowers the paper from his face. “What is this part supposed to sound like? It sounds like there’s too many syllables for the line.”

“Just try it,” Yejun cajoles. The camera shakes slightly as he repositions it to reference his own copy of the music on his computer screen.

“You’re not telling me my Korean is bad, are you?” he asks.

“Of course not,” Haksu says, sounding shocked that Yejun would even suggest that. “Not now, but maybe a few years ago.”

“You didn’t think about saying something earlier?”

“I didn’t notice anything earlier!” Haksu protests.

“You don’t read ahead?”

Haksu stares at him. “Why would I do that?”

Yejun sighs, glancing at the clock in the corner of his screen that reads 00:38.

“I have to fix this, but there’s still five more songs to record.”

“I’ll ad-lib it,” Haksu says. “That should be enough for now.” He scans down the page in an exaggerated motion. “There are other parts I would change too.”

Yejun rests his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. “Fine.”

“Haksu was actually the second person I asked to do the guides,” Yejun says. “Don’t tell him that. He’ll find out later if he watches this. Jaeseop has a really good sense of rhythm, but he didn’t respond to any of my texts. I wanted to do all the recordings that night, and Haksu was willing to do it.”

"Unlike Andrew-hyung, I check my phone." Haksu seems proud of himself. "It was late at night, but he made it sound so urgent. I thought I would record one or two songs. I did all eleven."

He emphasizes the number. "Looking back on it, it was a crazy experience. We were there for hours. I remember walking out into the sunrise. I don't know how long Andrew-hyung was awake for, but he drank so many energy drinks his hands were shaking."

“It’s been a long time since I’ve stayed up for so long,” Yejun says. “I used to be able to pull all-nighters all the time. Now I can tell I’m getting old.”

TRACK 7: 12:00 (심호흡) & TRACK 8: 5분

“The seventh and eighth tracks accompany one another,” Yejun says. “They bring back the fairy tale theme from the beginning of the album. These are Jaeseop’s favorite tracks.”

“If I had a fraction of Andrew’s skill, this is the type of music I’d make,” Jaeseop adds.

“You flatter me,” Yejun says drily. “If you want to learn, all you have to do is ask.”

“This is good,” Jaeseop says, taking out his earbuds. His words are accompanied by hardcoded subtitles, because he and Yejun sit in a coffee shop, Yejun’s laptop in the middle of the table between them.

“Why do you sound surprised?” Yejun asks.

“I’m not surprised. I knew you could write good music.” Yejun takes a sip of his iced coffee, looking very, very tired, if the shadows under his eyes are any indication.

“Do you think they sound like Fable songs?”

“I think any song could be a Fable song, if it’s good. We shouldn’t be constrained to only one sound.”

“Can you be more objective? Pretend to be Taein-nim.”

Jaeseop sucks in a breath. “I’m not doing that. You speak of the devil, and he shall appear. Besides, he’s the opposite of objective.”

Yejun sighs. “I don’t want to propose this to him and then get laughed out of his office. I’d take it personally and never recover.”

“He probably won’t do that,” Jaeseop says in consolation. “He can recognize good music when he hears it.”

Across from him, Yejun looks extremely doubtful.

TRACK 9: NOW OR NEVER

“This song is another track that I thought might never see the light of day,” Yejun says. “It’s very different from the rest of our songs. Thematically, it fits with the rest of the album, which is why I decided to include it. Mingeun and Haksu also worked on some of the lyrics.”

“What are they doing here?” Mingeun asks, standing in the doorway of Yejun’s studio. He barely has room to shut the door behind him. The room is cramped: Yejun in front of his usual dual monitor and full 88-key keyboard setup, Mingeun standing awkwardly near the door, and two women sitting on chairs very clearly stolen from the single Zenith conference room. Their names flash briefly on the screen, introducing them as Choi Eunbyul and Go Hwajung of Neon Nights.

“That’s very rude,” Yejun chides. “Also, you’re late.”

“We’re consulting,” Hwajung says.

“I don’t see why we need to be here,” Eunbyul says. “Andrew-ssi’s music is very good.” She gives a two-handed thumbs up to the camera.

“Unnie, that’s cringe,” Hwajung says softly.

The rest of their work flies by in a montage of sped-up movements and sound, the same few soundbites played over and over again. Mingeun paces in the small space, alternating between his spot near the door and staring over Yejun’s shoulder.

“That was my first time being so involved with the songwriting process,” Mingeun says. He sits alone, nearly squinting under the harsh glare of one too many flood lights. “Usually I work only on the choreography, and that’s always after the songs are finished. Plus, I don’t do it from scratch. It’s really admirable to see the thought and effort Andrew-hyung puts into everything.”

TRACK 10: DREAMING

“With ‘Dreaming,’ I wanted to write a song that was a bit more trendy. I eventually decided on a rock song,” Yejun explains. “A lot of my inspiration came from Neon Nights’ New Island of Utopia. I started working on ‘Dreaming’ almost immediately after listening to their album. I’m very grateful that I got to work with them so much on this track.”

“Honestly, I didn’t expect the song to be in English,” Mingeun says. “I feel like we’ve always had this specific image to maintain. And then Andrew-hyung called me up and was like, hey, I’m working on something in English wanna give me a hand? I said yes, of course.”

He gestures to nothing in the air. “And then we got this song.”

"Sonically, it was going to stand out from the rest of the album by being a band track. There are real instruments on the recording: I played the piano, and Eunbyul-ssi, Hwajung-ssi, and Yumi-ssi all played their instruments," Yejun says. "Changing the language was just another way of differentiating the song from the rest of the album. If we had the opportunity to promote another track, I'd love to perform this one. We've never had the opportunity to perform with each other, and I think it'd be a great experience for all of us."

TRACK 11: FIRE

“‘Fire’ is probably the song that took the longest time to produce,” Yejun says. “If you count all the time it spent hidden on Intak’s laptop.”

“It wasn’t hidden,” Intak argues. “I was waiting for a better time.”

The two of them sit in the same featureless interview room.

“Most of the song was composed by Eunsu,” Intak says. “After he left, I didn’t want to work on it anymore. And then we were busy, and then…”

He trails off into silence.

“You forgot about it,” Yejun says.

Intak glares at him.

Yejun sits on the floor of a dance practice room, Macbook open in front of him. He holds his phone in one hand, dial tone echoing off the walls. He reaches for the camera, as if to adjust the angle, when the call connects.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Eunsu."

Yejun leans back, resting his body weight on one arm and holding his phone in the other. "You're on speaker." He glances towards the camera. "And on camera."

"I am? Hello everyone, I'm–"

Yejun cuts him off. "You don't need to introduce yourself. I called to see if you remember this."

He holds his phone closer to his laptop speakers and hits play. For a few moments, the only sound is the music coming from Yejun’s laptop.

Eunsu groans. “Please turn it off. I don’t think I could forget it.”

“Why not?” Yejun prompts.

“I thought Intak-hyung and I would be the only ones to hear it. I was working on it for practice, and he was helping me.”

“That’s not what he told me,” Yejun says. “And why didn’t you ask me for help?”

“You sound like Haksu,” Eunsu says with a laugh. “I didn’t ask him. He approached me. I think he thought it was bad, but he didn’t want to tell me that.”

Yejun switches his phone to his other hand. “That seems like Intak. He told me you wanted to release it one day. I thought it would fit on the album I’m working on now.”

“Is this the same album you’ve been working on since before I left? I haven’t seen any new Fable music with your name all over the credits.”

Yejun winces. “Don’t say that. We’ve only released one mini album since then.”

There’s a hint of bitterness in his voice, but Eunsu doesn’t seem to notice, plowing on with his words. “I mentioned releasing the song only once to Intak-hyung. I’m surprised he remembered. I don’t mind if you add it to your album. Did you want my permission, or something?”

Yejun nods, then seems to remember that Eunsu can’t see him. “Yes,” he admits. “I wanted to hear from the original songwriter before Intak starts working on it again.”

“He can do whatever he wants,” Eunsu says. “I won’t stop him.”

OUTRO

The end of the documentary looks nearly the same as the beginning, as if they filmed both segments one after the other. The only difference is that they’re now standing instead of sitting.

“Thank you for watching!” Jaeseop says, still holding the album.

“Please make sure to show the album and Fable lots of love!” Haksu adds, making a heart with his hands.

“Two, three! This was Fable! Thank you very much!” Jaeseop ends the recording, leading the group into a synchronized bow.

They wave at the camera until it cuts to black.

#╰ to be written in ink is to be immortal — [ writing. ]#╰ to be written in ink is to be immortal — [ development. ]#fictional idol community #idol oc #kpop oc #idolverse #kpop fanfic #kpop addition #there was going to be a preview video but then i started looking for clips and uhhh uhhh #i hated it so pear blossom stock footage gif it is

16 notes · View notes

rae-ha-writes · 3 years

Text

It’s Not Safe Anymore - Johnny Suh

pt. 1

Featuring: idol!johnny x reader

Word count: 5.8k

WARNING: mentions of abuse/domestic abuse, mentions of some nudity, contains colorful vocabulary

Themes: angst, fluff, ~ bestfriends to lovers ~

a/n: do not stay in a relationship that damages you in any way shape or form, if you feel the need to hide something about the relationship out of fear, you should leave. leaving does not make you weak and never will. be selfish if that’s what it takes. remember they always hit around you before they hit you

this post is very special and personal for me and i’ve been sitting on it for a long time, here goes nothing

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

How did we get here exactly? Crying my eyes out every night, showing up at work with new bruises every day and never being able to give people answers.

Y/N POV

Well, here I am on my way to work after leaving the house, I used to call home, at nearly four in the morning just so I wasn’t there any longer. I live with my boyfriend of five years, but it seems his love language of physical touch has morphed into beatings over the past two years. I stopped wearing makeup, I stopped trying to cover it up and I stopped caring about the stares I got. No matter how much I want to leave, I can’t, he’s in my home, he intruded on my safe haven that is my home. Every day I’m running off of fear and three hours of sleep, I usually don’t sleep at all if he’s in the same bed with me. I’ve completely thrown myself into my work so that everything else is drowned out. I work at SM Entertainment and I’ve been with the company for a couple years, I love the people I work with and I love the higher ups I work for. I work behind the scenes most times, working with producers for music and music videos while I also work with composers so I can put my knowledge to use. That being said I work for the group NCT and more often than not I’m solely with NCT 127. They are amazing boys/young men, their big hearts showing for the staff that are around them. But lately I haven’t seen much of them and they haven’t seen me face to face in a couple months, mainly because I’m avoiding them all together.

The older members and I are quite close, I don’t know why being that I’m the same age as Chenle and Jisung. Me and Ten met when I first joined, we simply ran into each other, literally, and we really hit off after apologizing at the same time consistently. He is just such a mood booster and he’s the kindest man I’ve ever met. But Johnny, man, he’s just amazing. He’s definitely my soul mate, he’s my other half. I’d like to say it was love at first sight, he came to the studio with Ten and that was the first time I had crossed paths with him. For a good minute we both were just standing there staring at each other mid handshake, it seemed like time had stopped. We only broke eye contact when Ten cleared his throat and laughed at me, we both snapped out of it and were blushing like crazy. But I never got to do anything more than just having those feelings, at the time I was with my current boyfriend, he knew that and I knew it wasn’t right to have these feelings for another person. But we were like magnets always coming back to each other, it was inevitable that we were going to keep seeing each other. It’s been that way for the last three years, he never dated anyone and I was still in a relationship.

Lately I haven’t seen any of them because I don’t want them to see the state I’m in. It’s been hard being that I am co-producer and co-composer for their comeback this year. I’ve been seeing more of the boys because the come back album is being finished up and it’s been hard to not let them see any bruises. But of course it had to come to a head today of all days.

I’m just sitting in my studio going over some of the tracks and trying to see if there’s any inconsistencies. Being in my own world I didn’t notice anyone entered until I felt the chair beside me move then I snapped my head to see who it was but immediately looked away.

“So this is where you’ve been at all week,” Johnny smirked to himself as he looked at the screen in front of me. “I’ve missed seeing you lately Y/N.”

Thankfully I have my hood up and a mask on along with my reading glasses, I’m hoping he can’t see any bruises around my face or around my neck. “Yeah well-” my voice is hoarse from my boyfriend choking me daily so I quickly clear my throat before I continue. “Yeah well, I’ve been here in my little dungeon. I just feel like I’m missing something for this track, there’s this gap that I don’t know how to fill. It’s only obvious when you listen to it consistently, I could use your opinion.” I hold out a head set so he can hear what I’m hearing. I play the part over and over until I notice him take the headphones off and lean forward to rest his chin is his hand.

“I hear it, but I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s bad or anything. I think that the short break between the bridge and the last verse is kind of like a small breather. I think you should-” I turn toward him when he inhales sharply, that’s when I notice that the bruises on my wrists are visible. Hurriedly I pull my sleeves down and bring my arm to my lap, but he’s quicker.

“What is this? How did you-? Did he do this to you?!” His eyes quickly find my face and he slowly brings a hand up to my jaw. He brushes the hood off my head, gently pulls my mask off and takes my glasses off. He quickly gets up and locks the door to my studio then comes and kneels in front of me in my chair. “Did he, did he do all of this?” His eyes are filling with tears while I simply look down and don’t answer. There’s nothing I could say that could convince him otherwise, not like I want to. His hands hold my face so gently as his thumbs brush over my spilt lip, bruised jaw and my black eye. I struggle to not flinch at his every move towards me, I know he won’t hurt me, the pain in his eyes is almost palpable. He just keeps scanning over my face and then I see him discover the bruises on my throat and I see his eyes change, darker and angry. As he brings his fingers to trace the multiple marks I can’t help but flinch when his fingers touch a fresher bruise.

I only notice I’m crying when he starts wiping away my tears. He stands up and brings me up with him, I bury my face into his chest and cry the way I’ve wanted to for the past month. He simply holds me tightly and brushes a hand through my hair. Once I start to quiet down I feel him take a deep breath.

“Did he do this to you? How you answer will tell me what I need to do next, and don’t say to do nothing because I can’t sit around while I know the love of my life is being beat by her shitty boyfriend. Please tell if he did this to you.” He leans down and kisses the top of my head, I slightly nod my head. “Baby, I need words.”

I slowly look up at him. I meet his eyes for a second and look away, “Yes. He’s been doing this on and off for the past two years. It’s gotten really bad the past two months. He knocked me out last week. I can’t go anywhere, he’s living in my house. No one would have believed me, Johnny.” As soon as I finish speaking he’s on the phone with Taeil.

“Hey Ten, yeah I’m here with Y/N and uh she just told me that her good for nothing boyfriend, yeah yeah, has been beating her for a while. Yeah, I’m gonna need someone to go with me to get some of her stuff. Yeah, yeah. We should have the police meet us there. I’ll see if she let’s me take some pictures so they don’t have to talk to her right away. Yeah. I’m gonna have her stay with us and the guys. Not everyone needs to know what’s going on right now okay?” Then he turns to me and asks, “Who do you feel comfortable with knowing so they can help?”

I’m stunned from how fast things are happening but answer regardless, “Umm, I guess Yuta and Taeyong for right now..” He quickly leans down and kisses my forehead. I’m shocked with how fast things are moving and I know I shouldn’t be as comfortable with it as I am, but I can’t help but be happy that things are changing.

“Yeah, she said she’s okay with Taeyong and Yuta knowing, yeah, yeah. So get them and have them meet us at her studio. I’m going to have you take her back to my room so she can get settled while I take care of getting the things she needs. Yeah so could you come and get her while I start to get things ready to go? Yeah, she good for right now I just don’t want her to be alone right now. Yeah okay, see you soon.” Then he ends the call.

“Baby,” I look up at him when he calls me by that pet name, with a hopeful look on my face. “Is it okay if I take some pictures to show the police when I get there? Maybe a video too?” I nod wordlessly and step back so I can take my hoodie off. When I do, I hear him gasp as more wounds and bruises now show because of me wearing a short sleeve underneath. He quickly steps forward and presses a long kiss to my forehead before he steps back again. “Okay I’m gonna start taking pictures and videos, go ahead and close your eyes.”

I nod and close my eyes while I see several flashes go off, then he starts taking a video and starts lifting my arms and turning my head so that everything was visible on video. I hear him shuffle around so I open my eyes and I see him taking off the hoodie he was wearing, he delicately places it over my head and helps me pull my arms through then pulls me into his chest again. We stand there holding each other for at least two minutes before there’s a knock at the door, Johnny reluctantly lets go and goes to unlock the door. He stood there for a moment contemplating what to do before he opens the door and slips out.

Johnny’s POV

As I slip out of the door I’m met with three anxious faces.

“How is she?” Taeyong asks.

“Is she doing okay?” Yuta’s eyes are frantically searching mine.

“What do I have to do?” Ten asks firmly.

“That’s why I came out here instead of letting you guys in. She’s really sensitive right now, physically and emotionally. Me, Taeyong and Yuta will drive to her house and meet the police there. Once the police get him out of the house, we will head inside and get as much of her clothes as we can because she’s going to be staying with us for a while.” I finish rather quickly because this needs to be handled right away.

“How do we know that they’ll take him in immediately?” Yuta asks. I look him dead in the eye.

“They’d be putting her in more danger if they didn’t take him in for what he did to her. There’s plenty of proof to be shown that he has done it,” as I finish talking Yuta’s eyes grow colder.

“He’s lucky that the police are getting to him before I do,” Taeyong says cracking his knuckles and zipping his jacket up.

“Okay Ten, all I need you to do is get her back to my room and don’t let anyone else see her until I’m back. Try not to leave her alone is all I ask. I’m trusting you with my heart.” Ten simply nods. As I open the door I walk in straight to her and I kneel in front of her as she’s sitting down, she only has the hood up over her head and looks at me.

“Okay I’m gonna head out to your house and get some things you’ll need and then I’ll be back. Ten is gonna take you to my room and he’s gonna stay with you until I’m back. You already know that he’s gonna take good care of you. I promise I won’t be gone too long, okay?” She looks up at me as I stand in front of her, she nods quietly but doesn’t look me in the eye.

“Baby, please look at me.” I don’t push her to look at me but I wait until she does. “It’s going to be taken care of. He’s not going to do anything to you anymore and he won’t be able to do anything to us either. I see your eyes tearing up with worry, I will come back to you. I always will, my knuckles might be a little banged up, but I sure as hell will come back to you.”

She gets up and wraps her arms around my waist as she whispers, “I love you Johnny.”

I smile as I place a kiss on the top of her head, “I love you more Y/N.”

And with that I quickly leave with Yuta and Taeyong hot on my heels and Ten rushing in the studio to get her to my room.

“He better be more than willing to leave without fighting. But seeing how beaten up she is, I hope I get to have a few punches before he gets hauled away.” Yuta seethes through his teeth.

“Oh trust me, he wouldn’t be able to handle my anger at this point. I just can’t believe he’s been doing it for so long and yet has the nerve to live in her own fucking house.” Thankfully we made it to the car without anyone stopping us or really anyone seeing us. I sit in the driver’s seat and start the car, I pull out of the parking lot speeding. “You know, she built her house from the ground up. She has an extra plot of land so that she can build her parents a house so that they can come and visit. Fuck, I’m gonna have to tell them what happened.” When I stop at a red light I rest my head on the steering wheel while trying to calm myself down.

Taeyong puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes, “Calm down hyung. One thing at a time. First we got get the bastard booked and out of here. Then we deal with everything else together, neither of you are alone in this, not anymore.”

I take a deep breath before I raise my head again as the light turns green, “Yeah, I’m gonna make sure from now on that she never feels alone. I’m gonna take care of her, that’s a promise. Now let’s get this dickhead behind bars.”

Y/N POV

As soon as Johnny is out the door Ten comes rushing towards me and wraps me in his arms, I feel myself relax in the comfort of his arms.

“I got you. Now let’s get you fed and then we’ll put a movie on,” he squeezes my hand before we head out of my studio.

Thankfully as we walk down the hall it’s pretty deserted, it is still kind of early but I’m more than thankful that I got here so early.

“I already have a driver ready to take us home. Hopefully they won’t say anything to management. Well, even if they do it’d be smart for them to understand or else they’ll have to deal with me,” he wraps his arm around my shoulder as he open the side exit of the building, checks for people then ushers me out. He opens the door to the car and allows me to scoot in first. He gets in and tells the driver to take us back to the dorms.

He’s holding my hand the whole car ride while I look out the tinted windows. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the dorms, I can’t even remember the last time I hung out or saw all of the guys. I was too busy caught up in my thoughts to realize we pulled up in front of the dorms.

“Come on, most of the guys are either in the showers or working out. They shouldn’t notice you.” He interlaces our fingers and tugs my hood down a little more.

When he enters the building there’s no one in the lobby, thank god. We get to the elevator and once we get in, he holds down the floor button so it doesn’t get interrupted. When we reach their floor the doors of the elevator open and thankfully there’s no one in the hallway. We quickly walk down to their door and he gets his keys out to open the door. When he opens the door he peeks his head in and listens for anyone walking around.

“Okay, no ones out here. Let’s get you to his room then I’ll bring you some tea.”

We make our way down the hallway careful to not make any noise. Once we get to Johnny’s room he pushed the door open and ushers me in.

“Okay, that was easier than I thought. Well you know where everything is, you might want to wait to get a shower until he comes back with your stuff. I’ll go get you some tea and sprite, we should still have some of it left from last time-”

“I’m sorry,” I cut him off before he leaves the room. “I don’t mean to make things harder for you guys. I should’ve just kept to myself more-”

“Don’t even say that Y/N. Do you have any idea how much we all love you? No, no, how much Johnny loves you? He’s hated your boyfriend ever since you first brought him to that event,” he pulls me to sit down on the bed. “We all hate him. You forget I was the one that introduced Johnny to you, I saw the way you looked at each other. Yet you stayed loyal to some punk that didn’t deserve it, that doesn’t deserve you. He stopped being your boyfriend the moment he laid his hands on you. He stopped loving you the moment he left a mark that wasn’t out of love. Look at me,” he gently raises my chin so I meet his eyes.

I’m crying again as soon as I look in his eyes, “I’m sorry I couldn’t leave. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to just say something. I’m sorry I’m not the person I once was. I’m sorry I stopped talking to you. I’m sorry for making you worry about me. I’m so sorry Ten,” I start choking on my cries and lean into his chest, he wraps his arms around me and just holds me.

“You have no reason to apologize, absolutely no reason. He should be the one saying sorry. He’s gonna pay for doing this to you, Johnny will make sure of it. All you need to think about right now is yourself, Johnny will take care of everything at your house.” I nod into his chest as he runs a hand through my hair. “Okay I’m gonna get your tea now, is that alright?” I lean back from his chest and nod at him as he gets up.

Once he closes the door I pull my phone out of my pocket. Ignoring any messages that sat there from him earlier, I go to his contact and block it. As soon as I do that a weight is lifted off my shoulders and all the notifications go away. I look for Johnny’s number and I call him.

He answers after two rings, “Hey baby, we’re finishing up packing your stuff in the car and then we’ll be on our way. Are you good?”

“Yeah, I am. I just needed to hear your voice,” I breathe out a sigh of relief knowing he’s okay.

“I told you I’ll always come back to you. I made that promise, I’m not gonna go back on it. Alright well, we gotta head out to come home, I love you Y/N.”

“I love you too, drive safely,” I smile into the phone.

“Will do, see you soon,” then he hangs up.

“Okay okay, I got some bitter ass green tea and a sprite for the lady and some coffee for me. I grabbed my laptop so we can get ready for some movies,” Ten enters the room with a sprite under one arm, laptop under the other and a mug in each hand. I giggle as he comes closer with all the goodies. He sets his mug on the side table and open the laptop.

“What kind of movie are thinking of? Sappy, comedy, horror, slice of life, any ideas?”

“Um, maybe a feel good movie, well a comedy should be good. You pick a comedy whichever one you want.” I scoot up so I’m huddled at the headboard among all the pillows. Ten looks at the different movies and we catch up long enough that Johnny, Taeyong and Yuta actually make it back right as the movie starts getting really good.

“Woohoo, it was so satisfying to see that bastard being put in cuffs. Never been happier,” Yuta announces as he enters the room then closes the door. Taeyong sets all the bags down and lists what’s in each bag and how he tried his best to fold. Whereas Johnny made a beeline for me as soon as he opened the door. I can’t even count how many kisses he placed all over my face.

Now that we’re all chilling in the room I can notice Yuta and Taeyong constantly glancing at me out of the corner of my eye. So I turn to them and pull the hood down completely.

“I know you want to see it but you didn’t want to ask, so I’ll just show you.” The longer Taeyong looks the sadder his expression gets. He gets up and sits in front of me and hesitantly brings his hand up to my face. He moves my face around so he can see everything and I feel his fingers ghost over the fresh bruises on the corner of my jaw and on my throat. I flinch slightly as he places his hand on the side of my neck.

“Careful, be gentle,” Johnny says as he holds my hand.

Taeyong looks up at me but I close my eyes and lift my jaw so he can see the extent of the marks. When I do he gasps to see even more under my jaw. “This is why your voice sounds so rough,” he runs his thumb over the bruises gently.

“Gee thanks, I was trying to hide it so I didn’t sound like a man,” I giggle a little to the lift the mood, which thankfully works when I hear Taeyong and Yuta chuckle. Then Taeyong removes his hand to grab my other hand. I open my eyes to see him kissing my knuckles, that are also split.

“I’m glad you’re here with us now. You don’t have to worry about anything like this anymore,” he keeps his eyes on my knuckles as he rubs his thumb over them. “Well we’ll leave you to clean up and wash that bastard off of you so it’s a fresh start for you. Come on Yuta, Ten. Let’s give ‘em some privacy.” Then all three of them leave.

“You ready to get a shower?” Johnny asks from behind me as he leans forward to place a kiss on my shoulder.

“Yeah I guess, it’ll be a good opportunity to clean all the wounds. But um,” I pause slightly embarrassed for what I’m about to ask.

“What is it?” Johnny puts his chin on my shoulder.

“Could you maybe come in and help me? I can’t really reach everything and I’m not able to move around as freely. Plus I’ll need you to help wrap all the cuts and stuff like that,” my cheeks get hotter as I keep talking. “But if you don’t want to that’s fine I can call one of my girl friends over to help. There’s no pressure y’know, you don’t have to if you don’t feel comfort-”

“Of course I’ll stay and help you. My job is to take care of you now.” He presses a kiss to my cheek as he gets up and stands in front of me with his hand out. “Do you trust me Y/N?”

I carefully place my hand on his as he helps me stand up, “Of course I do. I trust you with my life.” We stand there staring at each other for a moment before I notice his eyes flicker to my lips them back to my eyes.

“Can I kiss you Y/N?”

My face heats up immediately and I nod.

“I need words baby,” I can hear his smirk.

“Yes, please kiss me,” with a boost of confidence I step closer to him.

His smirk deepens as he looks down at me. He lifts his hands to cradle my jaw lightly as he leans down. I meet him halfway as I rise to my tippy toes. Never did anything feel so perfect, when his lips met my dry and cracked ones, the world seemed to stop spinning. Slowly he starts to move his lips against mine while I clutch to his shirt as my lips move in sync with his. His lips are gentle but are needy and slow burning almost. I pull away as I need to breathe, when I look in his eyes all I see is love and adoration.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he walks over to the bedroom door and locks it. Then he comes back over to me and quietly asks me to start taking my clothes off once we get to his bathroom. He helps me take the hoodie off and then he starts the shower so the water can warm up. He helps me shimmy out of my jeans and sets me in front of the sink so I could look in the mirror at him. His hands rest on my hips as he leans down to whisper in my ear, “Look at you, even now you remain the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” Then he kisses underneath my ear. His hands go to the bottom of my oversized t-shirt and tugs on it to ask permission. I nod slightly and keep my eyes on the ground when he slips it over my head, I don’t want to see what I look like now. After a moment of silence I turn around so the mirror is to my back and look up at him.

“I wanna get in the shower now.”

“Okay,” he sniffs a little. “Can I take off your bra?”

“Sure.”

He unclasps it and slides the straps down my arms until it’s on the floor. Then I push my underwear down until they pool at my ankles and step out of them. I pull the shower curtain back and step into the shower. As I step under the hot water I hiss as it touches every single cut, scrape, bruise and healing scars. Then I hear the shower curtain open up again and I stiffen.

“Relax it’s just me, I’m not gonna leave you in here when you can’t even lift your arms up completely yet.” He comes up behind me and places his hands on my waist pulls me out of the hot water.

“I don’t need to wash my hair, I washed it this morning. I just didn’t get to, everything else.” I hang my head down.

“Hey, baby, look at me please,” his voice catches in his throat. “Y/N.”

I slowly turn around and meet his gaze.

“I’m gonna take care of you. You don’t need to be scared of me, okay?” He runs a thumb over my cheekbone as his eyes bore into mine. I nod and bury my head into his bare chest.

He sweeps my hair to the side and squeezes some body wash onto a loofa and starts to gently scrub my back. He keeps glancing down at my face to gauge where it hurts the most. When he’s done scrubbing my back he moves me back under the water and runs his hand over my back to help get all the soap off. He keeps me under the water a little longer as he rubs the small of my back which helps soothe all the pain. Then he pulls me out from under the water and pushes me away from him to wash the front of me. I watch his face as he bites his lip to keep his tears back, then I quickly pull his face down to kiss his lips. I pull back and look into his eyes.

“It’s okay Johnny. I’m okay. You’re taking care of me,” then I press a kiss to his chest.

Slowly he starts to clean my shoulders and works his way across my collar bones but doesn’t go over my throat yet. He cleans my arms, chest, stomach and legs before he comes back up to my neck. When I see him staring at it I take a deep breath and hold my chin up so he can scrub it completely.

“I’m so sorry,” he places his hand at the back of my neck to keep me from pulling away. “I’m gonna start cleaning it now,” he takes a breath and then presses the loofa to my throat. He quickly starts clean it while I clench my eyes shut. The soap stings as it runs over the several cuts from his nails digging into my skin, the skin still sensitive from the fresh bruises still healing. Then just as quickly as he started he stopped and pushed me under the water. As soon as all the soap is off he turns the water to cold to soothe my burning skin.

He leans down and presses kisses to my neck and throat. “The only marks that’ll decorate your neck now will be hickies and love bites, not a hand print anymore,” he whispers against my neck.

I turn around and wince as I hook my arms around his neck and pull him down to me. I kiss him slowly and deeply, making sure he feels my love and gratitude. He doesn’t break the kiss as he leans forward to turn off the water. He only parts briefly as he steps out of the shower, grabs a towel and wraps me in it. He wraps another around his waist then he picks me up and places me on the counter beside the sink. He grabs a smaller towel and dabs it over my face lightly, careful to not put to much pressure on my injuries. He stares at my split lip and runs the pad of his thumb over it before looking back in my eyes. He quickly leaves and runs back into the bedroom with shorts on along with one of my bralettes and a pair of underwear in his hands. He lowers me off the counter and gently takes the towel from around me and helps dry me before helping me get dressed. Once I’m dressed he lifts me back onto the counter and get the first aid kit out. On the small cuts and scraps he spreads some ointment. With the larger cuts he puts antiseptic cream on them then puts bandages over them. When I’m sure he’s done I bring my hands up to his collar bones and trace them. His eyes flicker back to my face and he breaks into a smile again.

“Thank you Johnny, really.” I lean forward and press a quick kiss to his lips.

“I’d do anything for you. I hope you know that and I hope that you know how much you mean to me,” he rests his forehead against mine and softly nuzzles his nose into mine. He backs away from me as he goes back into the bedroom to get one of his shirts for me to wear and a pair of my shorts.

Once we’re both laying in his bed I cuddle into his chest and we sit in comfortable silence.

“I’m sorry for cutting you off and not speaking to you for months,” I mutter not even knowing if he would hear me. But I know he did when he inhaled deeply.

“Don’t say sorry. You were doing what you thought was right. I’m just glad that I felt like visiting your studio today,” I can practically hear him smile at the last sentence. “I probably don’t need to say this but I will anyway. I promise I will never be like him, I will never lay a hand on you in a way you don’t like. You’re my person and you always have been, I’m happy I finally get to show you what real love looks and feels like.” I lift my head to meet his gaze, all I see is his eagerness and how earnest he is about this.

“I love you so much Johnny,” I don’t let him say anything back as I push upward to connect our lips.

His kisses feel like home and I can feel his love for me radiating off of him. The kiss starts off very gentle and soft, almost like I’m convincing him I’m okay. But once he shifts to be sitting up against the headboard, without breaking the kiss, he brings me into his lap. He brings one hand behind my head to press me against him more and he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. He runs his tongue along my bottom lip lightly, being cautious of the split in it. He brings his other hand down my back and lifts my hips to situate them closer to him then squeezes my butt, which makes me gasp as he pushes his tongue into my mouth. There’s not even a fight for dominance, just the urge to taste each other completely. We break from the kiss to get a couple breaths in before he starts placing fluttering kisses down my neck. I tilt my head to the side so he has more access as he places a long kiss at the corner of my jaw below my ear. He leans his head back to look me in the eye and smiles lovingly.

“I love you even more Y/N.”

 rae-ha-writes please do not copy my work

#johnny fluff #johnny suh fluff #johnny suh #nct 127 #nct 127 fluff #kpop imagines #nctfluff #nct angst #johnny x reader #nct x reader #johnny angst #kpop #kpop angst

97 notes · View notes

thefanficmonster · 4 years

Text

Unlucky

Part 2: ‘Lucky Me’

Corpse Husband x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Corpse decides to email back a person who has sent him quite a few creepy stories. She never seems to run out of scary encounters of both sorts: paranormal and stranger-danger. He gets suspicious that the stories are all made up so she can grab his attention, but he’s in for a surprise.

U/N - username

Requested: No

Corpse’s POV

I’m looking through my most recent emails from fans. They are all of scary encounters they’ve allegedly experienced. By now, I’ve read so many, it’s easy to decipher which are real and which are just made up nonsense. Some, I must admit, give me chills. Big props to the people who write those, especially if they are made up. If you can make someone’s skin crawl with your twisted, frightening imagination, you have one, for lack of a better term and in the most positive way, fucked up mind.

My cursor lands on the familiar username I see almost every other week. U/N. They have been sending stories consistently for about three years now. They, and I’m saying they cause you can never be sure who’s hiding behind the username, are either the most unlucky person to walk the planet or the one with most twisted imagination and story telling skills. I’ll admit, sometimes I narrate a story just because it’s well written. Believability is not the only thing I go by, I also reward creativity. And this person, U/N, has had their spot in many of my videos in the last three years. I’m honestly hoping they are made up, or at least some of them, because not only are there too many of them, but none of them fail to give me that eerie paranoia after I read them or the chills while I read them.

Once again, they have submitted a downright terrifying story. It would be a shame if I didn’t narrate it.

It would be a shame if I....

If I never actually meet them.

This many run-ins with people with malicious intent, always getting away by some miracle, what if they one day don’t make it out alive to tell it.

My heart sinks a little at the thought. I feel like I know this person, like we’ve known each other for three years now. They know the things the whole internet knows about me, and I, along with my regular watchers, know their stories. That’s by no means enough, now that I think about it.

My next action is really out of character for me. I decide to reach out to them. My fingers fly over the buttons on my keyboard too fast for my rational side to try and stop them. Deep down, I know I’m doing the rightest wrong thing I’ve ever done. My previously sunk heart is now in its assigned spot again, beating quickly.

You don’t know what you’re doing

I maybe don’t, but knowing isn’t what’s important right now. I just wanna do it.

~ Hey, this is probably, what, your twentieth story so far. I’m just curious, how many of these are made up? By the way, your stories are amazing and I’ll probably keep narrating them even if they aren’t real. They’re just that good.

I send the email before I can talk myself out of it. I get up from my chair immediately afterwards, putting as much distance between me and the computer as possible, silently promising myself I won’t be checking my mail every five minutes.

Y/N’s POV

I anxiously refresh and refresh my email inbox, waiting for the dreaded email back from my professor. Being halfway through the college experience, I know how tough this professor’s class is and how much I suck at it. I sent him my completed assignment last night, barely making the deadline mind you, so now I’m sweating hardcore, staring my computer screen down.

After refreshing for the millionth time, I’m met with a new email which makes my heart stop for a second or two, my stomach dropping. Then I take the time to read the sender’s name, the subject and the first sentence of the email, and all the previous changes in me reverse. My heartbeat picks up speed, going faster than a galloping horse and my stomach turns, making me feel the sensation everyone calls ‘butterflies’.

Nah, man. This shit ain’t real. It can’t be.

But then again, what if it is. What if I’m about to full-on ignore my favorite youtuber because of my paranoia. Well, it’s not exactly unsupported. My life has been a shit show of unfortunate event and situations I’ve literally had to claw my way out of in order to stay alive. Now, when something of the sort happens, it’s just another weekday. However, I still wanna share these encounters. Not only because they are proof of the dangers girls have to deal with on a daily basis, but they also get narrated by one of my favorite people ever. What more can a girl ask for?

~ Listen, I’m really not looking forward to getting catfished. Please leave me alone

It’s short, not sweet, and to the point. It’s easy to understand, and it clearly states that I’m not falling for it if it’s a scam, but if it’s real....someone call 911 cause I think I’ll faint.

~ I get it, you have trust issues. But that’s understandable. From the creepy guy messaging you on all your social media. To the stalker you had from you high school, or even that teacher that turned out to not be a teacher at all and just a pedo, I see where the lack of trust is coming from. But I assure you, they only thing I wanna do is chat.

The shock and happiness overwhelm me when the reply arrives not even ten minutes later.

Holy shit, this is him.

I start typing and then erase the typed half-sentence at least three times before receiving another email from him. From Corpse Husband. Corpse freaking Husband. How the fuck am I supposed to compose myself enough to reply to him, let alone sound cool and leave a good impression.

My hand shakes as I click the newly received email.

~ You probably don’t know what to say. Either that or you just don’t wanna talk to me. If you’re just baffled and surprised, reply with your name. If you want me to fuck off, ignore this email completely.

The smile I didn’t realize was there grows into a grin as small bursts of laughter escape me. Laughter caused by disbelief and shock. The type of laugh you let out when you score a good mark on the test you thought you completely fucked up.

~ Y/N. My name’s Y/N.

PS: The stories are all 100% real. All happened. In the order I sent them too. And before you ask, I guess I’m just unlucky, but you are proving me wrong right now.

I don’t know where that confidence at the end came from, but I don’t care really. All that matters is that this might just actually be happening and it might be the best thing to ever happen to me.

~ Man, you’ve had it rough. Tell me, is there an easier way to access you than email. Like Insta DMs? I feel we have a lot to talk about and email is not the most convenient.

At this point, it feel so much like a fever dream that I decide to treat it as though it is. I just go with the flow.

~ Yeah, but first.....am I really not being catfished right now?

The email I receive as a reply to this message is empty of text but there’s a file attached. Not gonna lie, I am a bit hesitant to open it, but I decide that if this turns bad, I’ll just have to deal with it. In the meantime, I’ll believe it’s not a scam.

It’s an audio file: “No, Y/N, you are not being catfished.”

That voice. That god damn voice. It could convince me of anything.

And now it’s convinced me into believing him. And finally letting out that squeal I was holding back before sending him my Instagram username.

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse husband fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader #reader #requests open #request #husband #corpse simp #love #romance #among us

1K notes · View notes

mental-dilemma · 4 years

Text

DATPT part 5

The boys have a conversation with Bruce before all hell breaks loose.

we're gonna ignore the fact I haven't posted in months, for compensation can I give you an extra-long chapter? BTW yes I did finish editing this during class, I'm also not great with pranking siblings, and since this was the way to tell them bout Marinette/Ladybug I ran with it.

Read from the beginning:

“Ok, Damian, have fun.” Dick turned to his brothers. “Well, boys it looks like we’ll have the apartment to ourselves Damian’s staying with Marinette tonight.”

“And you're ok with that?!” Jason asked, shocked Dick would let their youngest brother stay over with his girlfriend.

“Oh don’t give me that they’re both eighteen now and something tells me Marinette’s parents will keep more than one eye on them. So what do you guys want to do tonight.” The three brothers had decided that this trip to Paris would also be family time, especially considering how they didn’t really get any of that during the year.

“Movie?” Tim asked.

“Which one.” Jason was not watching another

“How bout this one?” Tim picked up the box that Damian had left sitting out on the coffee table earlier that morning. Jason plucked it from Tim’s hands and began reading the title. “Night of the living statue. Are you sure this doesn’t even seem scary?”

“I mean there’s always the crowbar wielding clown we could watch.”

“Oh yeah, that one got burned a while ago.”

“Fair enough.”

“So Night of the living statue it is,” Dick said, already making the popcorn.

------------------

“No don’t go into the basement, oh come on!” Jason was yelling at the screen.

“Jason you know they can’t hear you right?” Tim said rolling his eyes, which were illuminated by the laptop screen sitting in front of him.

“I don’t care Replacement the fact they’re doing it goes against every bit of common sense, it just doesn’t make, well--”

“Sense?” Dick supplied walking back into the room with the third popcorn bucket of the evening.

“Exactly I just don’t get it!” Jason held out his hands and made a grabbing motion for the bucket Dick easily sidestepped him and plopped down between the two.

“Ok, Tim popcorns back computers off.” He said as he finished getting settled.

“But I’m almost in, five more minutes and we get authentic Wayne manor security footage, and that’s better than any movie.

“Rules are rules replacement you agreed to the trade so you have to deal with it,” Jason said munching on popcorn.

“He’s right, and anyway if you keep going at it we’re gonna get a call from Al-” Right on cue, the video call screen popped up on Tim’s computer. He groaned before hitting accept.

“Hey, Alf good to see ya ol’ buddy ol’ pal! How’s the good ol’ USofA?” He said in an overly perky voice.

“Master Drake if I might request you stop attempting to hack onto the Batcave system it would be much appreciated.” Alfred’s voice rang over the call.

“Just hacking into security footage, huh?” Dick said glaring at Tim, Paris was a no hero weekend and Tim just broke that.

“I uh… I’m gonna go.” He said ending the call, moving quickly he closed his laptop grabbed a handful of popcorn, bolted over the couch to the room he was staying in, and closed the door.

“Well, that’s the last we’ll be seeing of him tonight,” Dick said moving to grab his phone. He opened up Alfred’s contact at called him back. “Sorry, Alfred he’s just itching to get a case. He’s gotten really bored seeing Paris like a normal person, well as normal as you can get given we’re Waynes.”

“Don’t worry about it I have one of those as well.” He panned his camera over to where Bruce was sitting cowl down at the computer in the Batcave. Dick and Jason both gave a small laugh.

“How is he doing?” Dick asked.

“Oh same as usual, sulking during the night, acting like a complete buffon during the day.” Jason laughed, Dick heard Bruce mutter through the phone, and Alfred brought the camera over to Bruce.

“Hey, Bruce how ya doing?” Dick asked innocently.

“How am I doing? Let’s see Richard, my sons hijacked the plane to go to Paris on a whim with no planning whatsoever, I got a call from Damian’s school that he was absent today. I'm also dealing with a very angry Italian ambassador, oh and with all the girls out on other missions I’m dealing with the entirety of Gotham and WE by myself for who knows how long. How do you think I feel?” The bags under Bruce’s eyes were more pronounced than usual as he berated his two older sons for a few more minutes, “now do you two have a reasonable explanation, or am I going to be feeding your asses to Harley Quinn for therapy sessions this week.”

“Damian has a girlfriend,” Dick said smoothly, Alfred and Bruce both paused, looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

“Please Dick if you’re gonna come up with an excuse at least make it a plausible one,” Bruce said while Alfred was attempting to compose himself in the background.

“I’m telling the truth, her name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She’s in his class and apparently, they’ve been dating for the last few months.”

“I’m going to search her up and if you’re lying to me it’s three therapy sessions with Quinn.” Dick shivered remembering the last time that happened, He had been suspended over a shark tank until he admitted he needed to start putting himself first. Bruce typed a few things on the computer and let out a sharp whistle. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

“See I told you,” Dick said smugly.

“That doesn’t change the fact that---” Bruce was cut off as they heard a scream come from Tim’s room.

“Sorry, Bruce gotta go check that out. Call you later.” Dick ended the video

following Jason to Tim’s room where they saw him sitting over his computer furiously banging on the keyboard.

“Woah Woah replacement if you keep that up then there won’t be any computer left to type with.”

“I don’t care! Someone cut the power and I was in the middle of checking Parisian crime records.

“Don’t freak out,” Dick said calmly, “I’ll go check the fuse box, you and Jason can go check the router. Ok?”

“Ok,” Tim said taking a breath. He put his computer aside and walked out of the room with Jason following him. Dick tried to call Damian to find out where the fuse box was, but for some reason couldn’t get a signal inside the apartment. He walked out onto the balcony waving his phone up wildly seeing if a bar would show up. He sighed as he brought his phone down. Nothing. As he turned to go back inside he felt a small pinch on his neck he moved to swat at it and he felt nothing. As he stepped forwards his eyelids began drooping, he stumbled and reached for the railing. He missed and before he slipped into unconsciousness he felt the bite of cold cement against his arms.

---------------------------------------

When Dick woke up the sun was streaming through the living room window. He felt a weight on his stomach and when he stretched his neck up he saw Jason was lying on him, with Tim lying on the top of the pile. He laid there a moment as the night caught up to him, he began formulating who would knock them out, and how he was going to get out of this dogpile when a sharp“Ahem” sounded from the doorway. Standing there was Damian in jeans and a shirt.

“Well, it looks like you guys had a blast last night,” Marinette said poking her head in. It was the first time Dick had seen her without pigtails, instead, she had her blue-black locks tied back in a messy bun and she was suspiciously wearing Damian’s sweatshirt.

“You want to tell me why Father called me last night wanting to know all about my girlfriend and why I hadn’t told him about her yet.” Jason and Tim gave simultaneous groans of annoyance as Dick hopped up.

“Listen Damian I can explain,” He said stepping forward. He felt something hook his foot. “What the--” he got out before red paint came crashing down on top of him. Jason and Tim, both awake now, shot up trying in vain to avoid the downpour only to stumble into more strings. Before anyone could blink glitter rained down from the ceiling sticking to the paint coating the boys. A camera flash later saw them giving the death glare to Damian as he and Marinette stood off to the side trying not to laugh.

“What. the. Hell.” Dick said as he wiped paint from his eyes.

“If you want to live Demonspawn you better hope that this paint comes out,” Jason said as he attempted to shake glitter from his hair.

“If Con ever finds that picture Jason isn’t gonna be the one you should be scared of,” Tim said dangerously low. Damian finally cracked and started laughing. Collectively the three batboys stopped and looked up in shock. They hadn’t heard Damian laugh before, sure they’ve heard the evil laugh and the Robin laugh but never his laugh, it was soft light, and infectious. Before long Marinette was laughing too, while Jason Tim and Dick were all smiling.

“Ok you were right that was better than anything I could think up,” Damian said as he composed himself.

“Hey give some credit to Luka,” Marinette said, “He was the one who suggested glitter.”

Jason’s eyes widened as he realized that not only did Demon spawn pull a nonlethal prank, but Marinette was in on it. Not just Marinette but some kid named Luka too.

“Wait back up, you’re telling me you guys decided that you should knock us out, and then dump red paint and glitter on us?” Tim said blearily.

“Well, we couldn’t just come out and tell you,” Marinette responded.

“Well we could, but this is revenge for your little family trip,” Damian interjected.

“Tell us what? That you hate us with a passion? You’re an evil psychopath?”

“You know for a family of detectives you guys can be rather slow.” Marinette slammed a hand over her mouth realizing what she had said. “I’m sorry I didn’t me--”

“I love you so much right now,” Damian said gawking at her, Marinette blushed.

“Ok, will one of you two please talk to us rather than whatever,” Jason gestured vaguely to the two of them, “that is.”

“What color is the glitter?” Marinette said as she turned her attention from Damian. She sounded almost like a school teacher would when talking to children.

“Black…” The boys responded in unison.

“And what color is the paint?”

“Red.”

“So what’s red and covered in black spots.”

“Lady----- Oh for fucks sake,” Tim said slapping his hand on his forehead.

“There it is,” Marinette said triumphantly, a smile spreading across her lips. A few moments later Jason and Dick both gasped as the information finally sunk in.

“Why can’t anyone in this family be normal.” The second youngest Wayne lamented.

“Well, at least this means you can join my team and me on patrols. I bet that’ll make Paris a little more interesting.” Tim perked up.

“Woah. Woah. Woah. We can talk all that out later but you need to go get cleaned up before the paint stains the carpet.” Damian interrupted, he didn’t like the fact Marinette was talking about patrol with his brothers.

“I would like to remind you that this was your plan, Damian,” Dick said.

“It may be my plan but it’s someone else’s carpet now go.”

The three boys were shepherded to the bathroom while Damian and Marinette cleaned up the mess left in the living room. All three of them were rather impressed with the way the two of them had revealed Marinette’s identity, although it went unspoken how if anyone revealed it there would be serious consequences.

It took them over an hour to even begin making a dent in the glitter-paint combination that covered their bodies. Dick having been directly under the bucket had it the worst, with Jason coming in at a close second. Jason thought he had at least gotten out the stuff in his hair during his shower, only to look in the mirror and let out a quiet fuck. Dick gave him a questioning look, in response, Jason just pointed to his hair. Where his white streak was now stained a deep crimson. “This means war.”

Tag list (closed):

@ur-average-reader @dast218 @allulily @acoursedprophetwithasmothie @k-laconia-bug1 @smolplantmum @g-arya @loysydark @mewwitch @itsemeanne @hauntedstudent99 @pawsitivelymiraculous @clumsy-owl-4178 @eeveeofstewjon @demonicbusiness @zotinha456 @t1dwarrior-of-earth @chocolateherringtacofan @abrx2002 @toodaloo-kangaroo @wannajointhecrabcult @miraculous-simmer7 @notmycupoftea26 @legodetectivemalsblog @fusser90 @ladyrwby @buginetye

#damian wayne x marinette dupain cheng #damientte #damianette #marinette dupen chang #Damian wayne #Maribat #Maribat au #Marinette #Damian #Jason todd #dick greyson #tim drake #ml fic

158 notes · View notes

satansjit · 4 years

Text

Reflections on the Color of My Skin

By Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

My colleague had other encounters with the law that he shared later that night, but his first story started a chain reaction among us. One by one we each recalled multiple incidents of being stopped by the police. None of the accounts were particularly violent or life-threatening, although it was easy to extrapolate to highly publicized cases that were. One of my colleagues had been stopped for driving too slowly. He was admiring the local flora as he drove through a New England town in the autumn. Another had been stopped because he was speeding, but only by five miles per hour. He was questioned and then released without getting a ticket. Still another colleague had been stopped and questioned for jogging down the street late at night.

As for me, I had a dozen different encounters to draw from. There was the time I was stopped late at night at an underpass on an empty road in New Jersey for having changed lanes without signaling. The officer told me to get out of my car and questioned me for ten minutes around back with the headlights of his squad car brightly illuminating my face. Is this your car? Yes. Who is the woman in the passenger seat? My wife. Where are you coming from? My parent’s house. Where are you going? Home. What do you do for a living? I am an astrophysicist at Princeton University. What’s in your trunk? A spare tire, and a lot of other greasy junk. He went on to say that the “real reason” why he stopped me was because my car’s license plates were much newer and shinier than the 17-year-old Ford that I was driving. The officer was just making sure that neither the car nor the plates were stolen.

Among my other stories, I had been stopped by campus police while transporting my home supply of physics textbooks into my newly assigned office in graduate school. They had stopped me at the entrance to the physics building where they asked accusatory questions about what I was doing. It was 11:30 p.m. Open-topped boxes of graduate math and physics textbooks filled the trunk. And I was transporting them into the building, which left me wondering how often that scenario shows up in police training videos.

We went on for two more hours. But before we retired for the night we searched for common denominators among the stories. We had all driven different cars—some were old, others were new, some were undistinguished, others were high performance imports. Some police stops were in the daytime, others were at night. Taken one-by-one, each encounter with the law could be explained as an isolated incident where, in modern times, we all must forfeit some freedoms to ensure a safer society for us all. Taken collectively, however, you would think the cops had a vendetta against physicists because that was the only profile we all had in common. In this parade of automotive stop-and-frisks, one thing was for sure, the stories were not singular, novel moments playfully recounted. They were common, recurring episodes. How could this assembly of highly educated scientists, each in possession of the PhD—the highest academic degree in the land—be so vulnerable to police inquiry in their lives? Maybe the police cued on something else. Maybe it was the color of our skin. The conference I had been attending was the 23rd meeting of the National Society of Black Physicists. We were guilty not of DWI (Driving While Intoxicated), but of other violations none of us knew were on the books: DWB (Driving While Black), WWB (Walking While Black), and of course, JBB (Just Being Black).

None of us were beaten senseless. None of us were shot. But what does it take for a police encounter to turn lethal? On average, police in America kill more than 100 unarmed black people per year. Who never made it to our circle? I suspect our multi-hour conversation would be rare among most groups of law-abiding people.

As I compose this, about 10,000 chanting protestors are filing past my window in Manhattan. And because of the intermittent looting and related violence, the curfew for this evening has been pushed earlier, to 8 p.m., from 11 p.m. in the preceding days. The most common placard was “Black Lives Matter.” Many others simply displayed the name George Floyd, who was handcuffed face-down on the street with a police officer’s knee on the back of his neck, applied with a force of at least half the officer’s body weight, resulting in his death. Curious irony that NFL star Colin Kaepernick offered a simple demonstration of care and concern for the fate of black people in the custody of police officers, by taking a knee during the Star Spangled Banner before football games. (One media outlet mangled the moment by describing him as protesting the national anthem.) The outrage against his silent act of concern for a national problem persisted through the 2017 season when, as a free agent, he went unsigned by any team to continue his livelihood.

So, we went from a peaceful knee to the ground to a fatal knee to the neck.

The way peaceful protesters and the press are being shoved, maced, tear-gassed, pepper-sprayed, and tackled in the streets of our cities (when the police should have focused on arresting the looters) you would think the protestors were doing something illegal or un-American. But, of course, the U.S. Constitution has something to say about it:

Congress shall make no law … abridging the freedom … of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Which amendment was that? The First Amendment. So, the founders of this nation felt quite strongly about it, empowering one to declare that protesting for redress of grievances is one of the most American things you can do. If you are the police, pause and reflect how great is the country whose Constitution endorses peaceful protests.

What do we actually expect from our police officers? To protect the peace and arrest the bad guys, I presume. But also, to be armed with lethal force that they can use when necessary. That part clearly requires training on how and when to use (and not use) the power of your weapons. The rigorous Minneapolis Police Academy training lasts 4 months. The slightly more rigorous NYC Police Academy lasts 6 months.

Yet to become a certified pastry chef at a prestigious culinary academy requires 8 months. The perfect croissant demands it. So maybe, just maybe, police recruits could benefit from a bit more training before becoming officers.

In 1991, Rodney King (age 25) was struck dozens of times, while on the ground, by four LAPD officers, with their batons, after being tased. The grainy 1990s video of that went media-viral, inducing shock and dismay to any viewer.

But I wasn’t shocked at all.

Based on what I already knew of the world, my first thought was, “We finally got one of those on tape.” Followed by, “Maybe justice will be served this time.” Yes, that’s precisely my first thought. Why? Since childhood my parents instilled in me and my siblings, via monthly, sometimes weekly lessons, rules of conduct to avoid getting shot by the police. “Make sure that when you get stopped, the officer can always see both of your hands.” “No sudden movements.” “Don’t reach into your pockets for anything without announcing this in advance.” “When you move at all, tell the officer what you are about to do.” At the time, I am a budding scientist in middle school, just trying to learn all I can about the universe. I hardly ever think about the color of my skin—it never comes up when contemplating the universe. Yet when I exit my front door, I’m a crime suspect. Add to this the recently coined “White Caller Crime,” where scared white people call the police because they think an innocent black person is doing something non-innocent, and it’s a marvel that any of us achieve at all.

The rate of abuse? Between one and five skin-color-instigated incidents per week, for every week of my life. White people must have known explicitly if not implicitly of this struggle. Why else would the infamous phrase, “I’m free, white, and 21” even exist? Here is a compilation of that line used in films across the decades. Yes, it’s offensive. But in America, it’s also truthful. Today’s often-denied “white privilege” accusation was, back then, openly declared.

The deadly LA riots associated with the Rodney King incident are often remembered as a response to the beating. But no. Los Angeles was quiet for 13 months afterward. Everyone had confidence, as did I, that the video was just the kind of evidence needed to finally bring about a conviction in the abuse of power. But that’s not what came to pass. The riots were a response to the acquittal of the four officers in the incident, and not to the incident itself. And what is a riot if not the last act of helpless desperation.

The 1989 film by Spike Lee “Do the Right Thing,” which explored 1980s black-white-police tensions in Brooklyn, New York, ends with a dedication to the families of six people. Eleanor Bumpers (age 66), Michael Griffith (age 23), Arthur Miller (age 30), Edmund Perry (age 17), Yvonne Smallwood (age 28), and Michael Stewart (age 25). All are black. One was killed by a white mob. The rest were unarmed and shot by police or otherwise died while in police custody. All deaths occurred within the 10 years preceding film, and all occurred in New York City. None of the police-induced deaths resulted in convictions, as continues to be true for 99% of all police killings.

We know of these events because they each ended in death. But even so, back then, it was just local news. Was this just NYC’s problem? I asked myself. But for every police-related death anywhere, how many unarmed victims are shot by police and don’t die, or are wrongfully maimed or injured? Most of those cases didn’t even make the local news. But if you lived there, you knew. We all knew. For what it’s worth, NYC now has the lowest police-caused death rate per capita among the sixty largest cities in the US. Is it that extra two months training in the Police Academy?

The corrosion and ultimate erosion of our confidence in the legal system in cases such as these, even in the face of video evidence, has spawned a tsunami of protests. With sympathetic demonstrations across the United States and around the world. If the threat of prison time for this behavior does not exist—acting as a possible deterrent—then the behavior must somehow stop on its own.

Some studies show that the risk of death for an unarmed person at the hands of the police is approximately the same no matter the demographics of who gets arrested. Okay. But if your demographic gets stopped ten times more than others, then your demographic will die at ten times the rate. I suppose we first have to get the bias factor down to zero, but then there’s still the matter of police killing unarmed suspects, white people included.

I talk a lot. But I don’t talk much about any of this, or the events along this path-of-most-resistance that have shaped me. Why? Because throughout my life I’ve used these occasions as launch-points to succeed even more. Yes, I parlayed the persistent rejections of society, which today might be called micro-aggressions, into reservoirs of energy to achieve. I learned that from my father, himself active in the Civil Rights Movement during the 1950s and 1960s.

In a way, I am who I am precisely because countless people, by their actions or inactions, said I could never be what I am. But what if you don’t have this deep supply of fuel? What becomes of you? Who from historically disenfranchised communities, including women, LGBTQ+, and anybody of color, are missing—falling shy of their full potential because they ran out of energy and gave up trying.

Are things better today than yesterday? Yes. But one measure of this truth is a bit perverse. Decades ago, unarmed black people getting beaten or killed by the police barely merited the local news. But now it’s national news—even breaking news—no matter where in the country it occurs.

So how to change all this? Organizations have surely assembled demands for police departments. Here, I offer a list of my own, for policy experts to consider:

Extend police academies to include months of cultural awareness and sensitivity training that also includes how not to use lethal force.

Police officers should all be tested for any implicit bias they carry, with established thresholds of acceptance and rejection from the police academy. We all carry bias. But most of us do not hold the breathing lives of others in our hands when influenced by it.

During protests, protect property and lives. If you attack nonviolent protesters you are being un-American. And you wouldn’t need curfews if police arrested looters and not protesters.

If fellow officers are behaving in a way that is clearly unethical or excessively violent, and you witness this, please stop them. Someone will get that on video, and it will give the rest of us confidence that you can police yourselves. In these cases, our trust in you matters more to a civil society than how much you stick up for each other.

And here’s a radical idea for the Minneapolis Police Department—why not give George Floyd the kind of full-dress funeral you give each other for dying in the line of duty? And vow that such a death will never happen again.

Lastly, when you see black kids, think of what they can be rather than what you think they are.

Respectfully Submitted

Neil deGrasse Tyson — trying hard to Keep Looking Up.

#neil degrasse tyson #reflections on the color of my skin #reflections #black lives matter #justiceforfloyd #blm movement #blm #support blm #science #george floyd #justice for black lives #justice for poc #no justice no peace #know justice know peace #white silence is violence #physics #amerikkka #blacklivesmatter

765 notes · View notes

lils-writes-stuff · 4 years

Text

Matthews

Spencer Reid x reader

summary: doesn’t ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night changes.

warning: normal criminal minds things, angst, sadness, gore, fun stuff

A/N: based on season 8 episode 12; uhhh here’s the storm

The sound of Y/N’s phone vibrating under her hand woke her up. She lifted her head off of Amelia’s bed, not bothering to look at the caller I.D. and answered.

“Hello?” Y/N’s voice croaked, still full of sleep.

“Ms. Matthews,” a distorted voice spoke through the phone.

Y/N sat up completely straight in her chair, now high alert.

“Or should I say SSA Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Who is this?” Y/N asked, standing up from the chair and moving outside of the room. She knew exactly who it was but she needed to be sure.

“You know exactly who this is,” the voice responded.

“Landry Stephenson,” Y/N said with a stern tone. “What do you want?”

“Midnight,” Landry replied.

“What about it?”

“That’s what you have till before this beautiful gold ring becomes mine, along with your boyfriend.”

The line went dead after that. A small tear of fear pricked in Y/N’s eyes, the phone not coming off her ear as she stood there in shock for a second. She pulled the phone off her ear after taking her second, calling the only person she could think of.

“I got here as quickly as I could,” Hotch said, rushing up the stairs to his office where Y/N stood.

She couldn’t trust Strauss anymore, she needed to go straight to the people she knew would help.

Her team.

“What’s wrong?” Hotch asked once he came face to face with Y/N.

“I need to tell you where I’ve been,” she said with a shaky voice.

It felt as though she was injured, running off of pure adrenaline. And now it was starting to wear off because her voice began to shake. Hotch closed the door to his office and gestured for her to sit down.

“Strauss sent me undercover at George Town because they’ve been receiving letters about someone in the BAU being stalked. There has also been a recent string of ‘suicides’ that we thought were connected to the case, now I can confirm it is because one of the girls I’ve become close to was a victim last night…”

“Y/N I’m so sorry,” Hotch said sympathetically.

“It’s alright, she’s recovering in the hospital, she made it to my office to get help somehow.”

She took in a shaky breath and looked at the watch on her wrist.

“Okay, I’m going to skip some parts because we need to get the team here as soon as possible. Basically, this girl named Landry Stephenson has been sending letters to us about Spencer and I found out it was her yesterday when I went to Amelia’s dorm to look around and I found hundreds of pictures of Spencer in a small chest. This morning I got a phone call from Landry saying we have until midnight tonight to save Spencer.”

“How do you know it was Landry for sure?”

“Because she addressed me as Ms. Matthews, that was my undercover name.”

Y/N took in a shaky breath and lifted her hand and watched it shake violently. She was starting to have an anxiety attack, she hadn’t had that since the day of the bomb.

“Y/N,” Hotch said, making her tearful eyes look at him. “I need you to breathe okay, breath.”

She took in some deep breaths and let a few tears fall down her face. Her eyes closed and she took a minute to compose herself, letting all her emotions flood out of her so she could focus on saving Spencer.

“Okay, let’s get the team here.”

--------------

“Y/N,” everyone said as they walked into the bullpen, seeing the woman they all missed.

JJ and Penelope ran up and wrapped their arms around her, squeezing her tightly.

“Hey, guys-” she pulled away from the hug and gave others to the rest of the team- “I wish we had time to catch up but we have a problem.”

“Why? What’s going on?” Rossi asked, his brows furrowing in concern.

“Wait, shouldn’t we wait for Reid?” Penelope asked, noticing the Boy Wonder’s absence.

“That’s why we’re here. This morning Y/N received a phone call from Landry Stephenson, the unsub Strauss sent her to find who had been killing students at George Town and stalking a member of the BAU, that member was Reid,” Hotch relayed the information Y/N had told him to the team.

The team had slack jaws at the news.

“So, is he okay? Is he in protective custody?” JJ asked, her words quick and strong.

“When I got the call, Landry told me we had until midnight to find him,” Y/N said, her voice shaking again.

“Oh god…” Penelope muttered, clutching her hand to her chest.

“What other information do you have?” Derek asked assertively.

“Not much,” Y/N let her head drop in shame.

The team stayed quiet for a second, watching as Y/N sniffled as a way to keep in her tears. “I have a wealth of knowledge to be applying to this case right now about behaviors of violent stalkers, tactical recovery strategies-” she choked on a sob at her next words- “victim survival odds, things I know about the unsub. But I can’t keep a straight thought for more than four seconds at a time, so I’m the dumbest person in the room.”

The team watched in sympathy as Y/N cried during her speech. They knew he was the love of her life and she was his. They were Spencer and Y/N. “The greatest love I’d ever seen,” as Rossi put it. So they knew, this was tearing her apart because she was putting all the blame on herself.

“Please-” her voice cracked- “we need to find him.”

“This technically isn’t our case, but Spencer is a part of this team,” Hotch said as everyone stayed quiet. “This is going rogue not only for Y/N but for all of us, we could lose our jobs. Does anybody want to leave?”

No one answered.

“Good, then let’s get started.”

-------------

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while deeply loving someone gives you courage,” Y/N mumbled under her breath as she paced back and forth in Penelope’s office. She kept repeating the phrase under her breath like a mantra. It’s a quote by Luo Tzu that she found during her time away. It’s what kept her going from being away from Spencer and only being able to talk to him every so often.

“Hey,” Derek whispered, walking into the office that was only occupied but Y/N.

Y/N ignored him and kept repeating the quote under her breath.

“Y/N.” Derek stepped in front of her and grabbed her shoulders. “We’re going to find him.”

“Yeah,” she nodded and wrangled her hands together. “It’s just this is all my fault. If I had pushed harder, maybe Strauss would have gotten him sooner or even put Landry in custody and then we wouldn’t be here right now and I could be back on the team and everything would be great and be normal. Spencer and I would be together and would be happy and hopefully engaged-”

Y/N’s blubber of ‘what if’s’ was cut off by Derek.

“Hey, hey.” He grabbed her shoulder and gave her a slight shake. “Wonder Woman we are going to find him and stop this.”

She nodded and fell into his chest, just needing a hug now. He wrapped his arms around her shoulder and held her for about a minute.

“Let’s go to the round table room, we got all the letters that were sent from Strauss,” Derek said, beginning to lead her to the door.

“How did she take the fact I didn’t come to her first?” Y/N asked while wiping the last of her tears.

“Not well at first, but I think she understood eventually.”

When they reached the round table room, the team was sitting all around it, copies of the letters that were sent scattered between them.

“This is clearly a classically possessive stalker,” Derek said as he finished one of the letters he was reading.

“Yeah, one who craves validation and recognition,” Blake added.

“Yeah, she’s asking here ‘why won’t you see me?’, ‘do you think you’re better than me?’, within the five letters this comes up again and again,” JJ said as she flipped through her copies of the letters.

“Five?” Y/N asked from her seat across the table.

She had been silent for most of the time in the room. Her knees pulled up to her chest and her forehead resting on top of them.

“Yeah, there’s five,” JJ responded showing Y/N the letters.

“No, no, that can’t be right, when Strauss sent me out there was only four,” Y/N let her feet hit the ground as she reached for her copies of the letters.

Sure enough, another latter had been sent since she was undercover. It came in yesterday.

“This got here yesterday,” Y/N pointed out.

“How do you know?” Rossi asked, flipping to the same letter she had in her hand.

“Because this is talking about the attack on Amelia,” Y/N said as she kept reading the letter swiftly.

“Who’s Amelia?” Blake asked quietly, not wanting to make Y/N jump at anyone in her frantic state.

“She’s a girl I’ve been counseling undercover, we’ve gotten really close, yesterday she was attacked.” Y/N kept reading through the graphic description of the attack, trying to not let it get to her as she looked for ideas where Spencer could be.

“Here, here, she talks about how she did this for him,” Y/N blurted when she finished reading over a line in the letter, pointing to the spot. “She was killing these people so that the team would come and investigate.”

“Well, we have her motive for the killing, also probably for the suicide she’s also talking about,” Blake said as she pointed out another thing in the letter. “Here it says, ‘when I find you I’m going to kill you than myself’.”

“Murder suicides the ultimate ‘I love you’ to these guys,” Rossi remarked.

“Do you know when Landry started targeting Spencer?” Hotch asked, turning to look at Y/N.

“No, no, I just know she was in one of Blake’s linguistics classes, probably saw him guest speak, and…” she trailed off from there, not wanting to say the rest, knowing that the team knew it.

“Oh my god guys, I found Spencer,” Penelope blurted when a ping went off on her computer. “Well, not found, but I have video surveillance of him in Union Station last night, being drugged and carted away by the unsub.”

The team quickly crowded around Penelope’s laptop and watched the video. Y/N stayed rooted to the ground she stood on, not being able to watch the video.

“Alright, Morgan you and JJ go to the station where Reid was taken, see if anything was left as a clue, Blake and Dave, go to Spencer and Y/N’s apartment, see if there’s anything there,” Hotch ordered and the team began to stand up straight and grab their coats.

Hotch then turned to Y/N, still rooted in the ground and not moving. “How clear is your head?”

“Uh, I’m not sure, not really clear,” she stuttered, eyes staring at Spencer’s empty seat at the round table.

“I want to talk to Amelia about Landry but I need you there.”

Y/N nodded her head but didn’t move just yet.

“Y/N,” Penelope said, stopping her as she began to turn.

“He wears the ring you know, never takes it off.”

“I know.”

------------

“Amelia?” Y/N asked softly as she entered the hospital room.

Amelia looked up from the book in her hand to see Y/N approach with Hotch behind her. “Hi, Y/N.”

“Amelia, this is Agent Hotchner, he works with me at the FBI, um he needs to ask you some questions.”

“Hi, Amelia,” Hotch said, walking closer to the side of the bed.

Y/N took a step back to watch.

“Hi,” Amelia responded.

“So Landry Stephenson is your roommate correct?” Hotch asked, starting off his questions.

“Yes.”

“Does she have any place she would go beside your dorm?”

“She talked about her boyfriend’s place a couple of times,�� Amelia answered after a pause for her to think.

“What’s his name?”

“Uh, I think she said it was Edmond,” Amelia shrugged. “She rarely talked about him, when she did, it was almost like she was imagining it.”

Y/N then had a flashback to when she walked into her’s and Spencer’s apartment one time. She remembered looking over to see a boy walking into his apartment a little down the hall, Landry by his side.

“Hotch,” Y/N stepped up getting his attention.

He turned his head to look at her.

“I know where the boyfriend lives.”

------------

“This bitch,” Y/N deadpanned as she walked up the stairs to the second floor of the apartment building where her and Spencer’s apartment lived. She walked swiftly up the stairs and down the hallway, bypassing her apartment that Rossi and Blake had just been in.

“Y/N, slow down,” Hotch said, catching up to her.

“She was right down the hallway from us, Hotch, how the hell do you expect me to slow down,” she seethed as they came to the apartment of Edmond Rayes.

“Let us handle it,” Hotch put his hand up, stopping her from knocking on the door.

She nodded, still furious that she was this close to them this whole time.

“Edmond Rayes,” Derek said, pounding on the door. “FBI.”

Rossi pulled his badge out of his pocket and held it to the peephole. A second later, the door opened and revealed Edmond Rayes, with a stitched up forehead.

“FBI?” Edmond asked the common thing most people say when the FBI knocks on their door.

“What happened to your head?” Rossi nodded to the large gash.

“My ex pushed me into a mirror,” he answered, moving his body open to let the four of them in.

“That ex wouldn’t happen to be Landry Stephenson would it?” Y/N asked, speaking up for the first time.

“Yeah, how’d you know?” Edmond asked, clearly not recognizing Y/N’s voice from the few times she talked to him. He turned his head to look at her and then he recognized her, “Oh, hey Y/N.”

“Hi, Edmond.”

“Do you know where Landry Stephenson is?” Rossi asked, getting straight to the point.

“No, should I?”

“Well, that’s what we were hoping,” Rossi shrugged.

“When did you guys break up?” Derek asked the next question.

“Uh, about three weeks ago,” Edmond answered, pausing to think of the exact timeline.

“And when did you get that cut?” Hotch asked.

“Two nights ago, Landry came back ranting about something she left here.”

Y/N began to wander the apartment, looking all around at the different pictures and figurines adorning the shelves. She wasn’t listening to the interview going on anymore, it just became background noise as she looked at the walls.

But then her ears tuned back when she saw an orange envelope slipped between two books. To the untrained eye, no one would have caught it.

“Edmond,” Y/N said, bringing everyone’s attention to her. “What’s this?”

Edmond cocked his head to the side as he looked at the envelope with Y/N. “I’m not sure.”

He pulled the envelope out from between the books and opened it. He pulled out about twenty photos of Spencer and Y/N walking in and out of his apartment. “I think I found what Landry was looking for.”

Y/N took the photos from his hands, flipping through them to see them all. They went back a couple of months.

“Y/N,” Hotch said nodding to the door of the apartment. Rossi took the photos from her hands as she walked past and followed Hotch out of the apartment.

“This means you’re a part of her victimology now, you know,” Hotch said calmly to her.

“Are you pulling me off the case then?”

“No.”

“Then let me go back in there to work,” she said, trying to push past him into the apartment. Hotch stuck his arm out and held her back.

“We will but you need a second,” He told her.

“Hotch, I was practically stalked by Caroline for my whole college life, this isn’t new to me,” she reassured him and walked back into the apartment.

------------

“Okay we know numbers on female stalkers are minimal, only ten percent are female,” JJ said as the team sat around the round table again to regroup. Y/N took a seat on the couch behind the table, feeling like she needed to step back to see everything.

“All right, what tops the list of motivators?” Hotch asked.

“Prior sexual intimacy,” Derek debated.

Y/N barked out a laugh accidentally at the thought. Everyone turned to her with confused glances. “Sorry.”

“Erotomania?” Rossi asked, moving past the moment.

“Maybe,” Derek said. “You slept with me, I’ve built a whole life with us-”

“No,” Y/N butted in.

“Y/N,” JJ whispered.

“JJ I know Spencer, we all do, he would not cheat on me, or-or do anything like that.” They all looked at Y/N sympathetically, knowing she was right but they were just saying all the facts. “What’s-what’s the next one?”

“Celebrity stalking,” JJ answered.

“That one makes more sense,” Y/N said nodding her head.

“How? Spencer’s not famous,” Blake said shaking her head.

“But she was in your class Blake, and when he came to lecture, she became a celebrity to him,” Y/N said.

“That’s a stretch,” Rossi argued. “Celebrity stalkers are usually nonviolent.”

“You want to tell that to John Lennon, Rossi?” Y/N said standing up from her sitting position as she got angrier. “What was it that Mark David Chapman said after he shot him? ‘It was like all of my nobody-ness and all of his somebody-ness collided.’ Well, Spencer is somebody and-and this bitch is a nobody!”

Her sudden outburst made the room get quiet as she paced back and forth. They waited for a second for her to cool down.

“I’m-I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” she apologized as she continued her pacing. “My head’s too clouded, I need to leave, I’m not much help.”

“Y/N, yes, you can be of help,” Derek said, trying to make her calm down. “You have the most communication with the unsub and Spencer.”

“She probably revealed details to you of where she would keep Spencer since she knew who you were,” JJ said in a calming voice.

“I don’t have a memory like Spencer! I can’t remember every damn word she said to me, how-”

“Then pick one of us and we’ll go through each moment with you to help you find out,” Hotch cut her off.

Y/N stopped pacing, looking at everyone around the table. Truly, she would pick Penelope but that wasn’t a part of her job so she settled on someone else.

“Hotch, please,” she said quietly.

“Okay, let’s go,” He said standing up and leading her out of the room.

------------

“This is where you want to talk?” Hotch asked as the two reached the park that had many chess boards in it.

“It’s where Spencer and I went on our first date, he tried to teach me chess. I need a spot that reminds me of him,” Y/N said as she took a seat at a table. She really sucked at chess, but she knew how to play because of Spencer, but she never beat him.

“Okay.” Hotch took a seat across from her. He then moved a pawn to begin the game. “Try to focus on the board and not my questions, just say whatever comes to your mind.”

“Okay.” Y/N moved one of her pawns.

“When you first think of Spencer what’s the first thing you think of?”

“Home,” Y/N laughed as she moved her chess piece. “He-he makes me feel like home. Warm, cozy, and safe.”

Hotch stayed quiet as he smiled at Y/N. Of course, he knew about their relationship, the whale team did, but they were very private about it. They stayed professional most of the time and no one would assume they were dating if they saw them on the job. This was the first time he really heard about how she really felt about him.

“So if this is a case of celebrity stalking, why do you think she didn’t go after you to get to Spencer?” Hotch asked as he made his next move.

“I’m not sure, to be honest, I wish she did take me instead of him,” Y/N moved her rook. “Maybe she was devolving and her desire to get to him first was too strong so she just...went for him.”

“Maybe,” Hotch moved his knight. “But why would she choose Spencer, in her mind, they must connect somehow.”

“But how?”

“Maybe Spencer said something in a lecture that had her make a connection?” Hotch moved another pawn.

“Could be…” Y/N moved her other knight.

“When you spoke to Landry, did she mention any of her classes?”

“No, she didn’t really talk much, she would answer yes or no to my questions…”

“Landry, do you have anyone special going on in your life right now?”

“Well, I sent in an article to someone I admire again, and I’m hoping they get back to and like this one more than my last.”

“Oh my god,” Y/N muttered as she remembered the conversation.

“What?” Hotch asked.

“Months ago, Spencer was helping some students with thesis and articles they wanted to be published. He then asked for input on a ‘Journal of Behavioral Psych’ article. This one student sent in a theory that was completely improbable and stupid, but I couldn’t even tell you what it was. But that same student kept sending in more stuff like it, and Spencer kept politely rejecting it,” Y/N rambled.

“It was Landry that sent in those articles,” Hotch realized. “She wants to be accepted by him.”

“She told me once a couple of weeks ago that she sent in another and was hoping it would get accepted,” Y/N looked up at Hotch with teary eyes. “I didn’t make the connection until now.”

“It’s not your fault, Y/N, okay, come on let’s get back to the office.”

-------------

“Landry Stephenson, along with being a major in Linguistics at George Town, she was working on getting her psychology degree online,” Penelope said as she pulled up a photo of Landry on the screen.

“Do you have the articles she sent to Spencer?” JJ asked.

“Yeah, and like Y/N said, they’re waka-doodle,” Penelope answered.

“Looks like when Spencer rejected her last article, she dropped out of her online classes,” Rossi said as he looked at the papers Penelope handed them.

“Correct,” Penelope said, taking a seat at the table. “I also found an off campus apartment that looks like she stays at on the weekends.”

“Dave, you, Y/N, and JJ take the apartment. Blake and Morgan, take the campus dorm,” Hotch ordered.

“What was the last article about?” Y/N asked quickly before they could leave.

“It says here, ‘How the behaviors of cells change when suicide is inevitable’,” Derek read from the file.

“There’s her suicidal ideation again,” Blake remarked.

“Except that’s not true, why is she so obsessed with it?” Y/N asked. She now understood why Spencer was rejecting her articles, if they were all like this, they were related to her emotionally.

S.W.A.T. busted through the door of the apartment, breaking it off its hinges. They walked in quickly, making sure all the rooms were clear before they could relax and begin their search.

Y/N, JJ, and Rossi began to look around the apartment. Their eyes landed on a wall covered in family pictures and a newspaper clipping about a double suicide. Of her two parents.

“Is this a shrine to her dead parents?” JJ asked as she looked at the wall.

“Her parents committed suicide,” Y/N muttered and pointed to the clipping. “That wasn’t in her file.”

“Uh, guys,” Rossi called from a back room he wandered to. “You might want to come to look at this.”

JJ and Y/N walked to the room quickly. When they entered Rossi had pulled open a small closet door, revealing a bunch more pictures of Spencer.

“Oh dear god,” Y/N muttered as she looked at all the pictures. If Spencer wasn’t kidnapped by this girl right now, she would probably find this humorous.

“She’s watching us,” Rossi nodded to a camera in the corner of the room.

JJ and Y/N turned to the camera behind them to see a green blinking light flashing. JJ quickly pulled out her phone and called Penelope.

“Garcia,” JJ said when she heard her answer.

“What you got, Mama Grizzly?”

“There’s a webcam in here can you hack the feed?” JJ asked.

“Ohh,” Penelope groaned as she tried to hack the feed. “She’s spoofing the IP address and she’s encrypted the feed.”

Y/N searched around the room, finding a piece of paper and marker. She quickly wrote ‘me for him’ on the page and held it up to the camera.

“What are you doing?” Rossi asked as he watched Y/N write.

“Making a deal,” Y/N responded, finishing the message. The two agents watched as Y/N held the paper up to the camera.

Y/N prayed that this would get her in to find out where Spencer was because they were running out of time now.

After about thirty seconds of Y/N holding up the message, the apartment phone began to ring. Y/N set down the paper and rushed to the phone.

“Hello?”

“It’s me,” Spencer’s voice said back through the phone.

Y/N let out a breath of relief that he was still alive. “Spence, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I think so,” Spencer stuttered. “I’ve got a concussion and some bruising, but I’m okay.”

“Can I speak to Landry?”

She heard Spencer take in a sharp breath. “No, she’s listening.”

“Good, I need to meet her, I need to talk to her,” Y/N said, hoping she was playing her cards right now.

“She has a message she wants me to give to you,” Spencer spoke softly, clearly uneasy as his words were slightly slurred.

“What is it, bub,” she hoped using his nickname would give him some strength.

“The message is, she left you a present and if you want to find it, it’s easy as pie,” Spencer’s voice was slurred, almost like he was falling asleep.

“What does that mean? I don’t get that,” Y/N said, rubbing her forehead as she tried to think.

“Neither do I,” Spencer mumbled. “Y/N don’t come, it’s a trap! She’s gonna kill you-”

The line went dead.

Y/N thought for a moment, then she had a thought. “I need a map of D.C.”

------------

When Y/N, Rossi, and JJ arrived back at the BAU, Y/N had plenty of time to think about the riddle and decipher most of it.

A map was set up on a board when they walked in. She quickly picked up a blue marker.

“We don’t have a lot of time so I’m going to make this as quick as possible.” Y/N took the cap off the marker then began marking things. “This is Landry’s off-campus apartment- this is the nearest tower her phone call to me pinged off of, which means this-” she used a compass to draw a circle around the spots- “is the circle that Spencer was telling me about.”

“What circle?” Hotch asked.

“It was a clue in Landry’s message, finding her would be as easy as pie, but she wasn’t talking about the food, she was talking about the number Pi.” Y/N wrote the first three digits on the board.

“Pi,” Penelope said and turned back to her laptop to start some calculations.

“Why would she give you a clue?” Hotch asked.

“Spencer has a doctorate in mathematics, so of course she would use math to lure us in because she wants Spencer to think she’s just as smart as me and him,” Y/N relayed the conclusion she had come up with on the car ride back.

“All right, assuming that Landry has a secondary location, wherein the circle would she hold Reid?” Hotch nodded to the circle she drew on the map.

“She’d need a building that would allow for privacy and control, a closed garage for prisoner transfer…”

“If she’s trying to insert herself into Spencer’s life, maybe she has it close your apartment,” Hotch suggested.

“There’s nothing in Landry’s name,” Penelope said after searching with the suggestion.

“Try Y/N’s or Spencer’s,” Hotch said, turning around to look at Penelope.

“Nope.”

“What about Landry’s parents?” Y/N squatted down next to Penelope as she typed.

“Yes, yes,” Penelope said excitedly as she got a hit. “Landry rented a loft across from your’s and Spencer’s apartment building in her parent’s name.”

“Y/N,” Hotch said, bringing her attention over to him. “I can’t let you be a part of this takedown.”

“We don’t have a choice if I don’t go in there. Spence's dead,” Y/N said, her hands moving aggressively as she spoke.

“And if you do you’re dead,” Hotch told her.

Y/N shook her head. “Hotch, we’ve known from the beginning she’s on a murder-suicide mission, but we didn’t stop to ask why she’s on that mission. We know now, it’s because she wants recognition, the type she believes Spencer can give her and if I go in there I can let her believe she is getting that.”

“How?”

“Because I’m going to break up with Spencer to do so.”

--------------

The team pulled up to the building with the sirens blaring. S.W.A.T. had already arrived at the scene, ready for instruction from the team.

The team each hopped out of there respected vehicles, guns drawn and ready to save Spencer.

“Hang on, I got a box on the steps,” Hotch stopped everyone, carefully approaching the box.

“That’s the gift,” Y/N said, holstering her gun and walking up to the box.

She picked it up, looking at Hotch to be sure it was alright who nodded. She pulled back the blue lid to reveal a small black velvet box. She pulled it out and opened it, seeing a beautiful ring inside of it.

“Is that a ring?” Derek asked as he inspected it from a distance.

“Take your gun and vest off,” Landry’s voice said through an intercom by the door.

Quickly, Y/N began to strip the vest off her torso and handed her gun and the ring to Hotch.

“Now come in Alone.”

“Y/N,” Hotch tested, but Y/N didn’t look back at him.

She opened the door carefully and slowly walked up the small set of stairs to a platform. When she reached the top, Landry rounded the corner and cocked her gun.

She walked over to Y/N slowly and grabbed her shoulder, placing the gun to her side. “Walk.”

Landry pushed her down into a chair roughly. Y/N shifted uncomfortably and took a breath, trying to keep a cool front.

When she looked in front of her, she saw Spencer strapped to a chair. “Hi, Spence.”

“Hi,” he whispered back.

“I was hoping you’d figure out my riddle,” Landry said as she moved behind Spencer, laying a hand on his shoulder. “I mean, I knew you would-” she snaked her hand under his shirt- “The fun was just how fast you did it.”

Y/N watched as Spencer stiffened uncomfortably under her touch.

“It took me a while, if I’m honest, I was kinda distracted by your article you sent in,” Y/N said, hoping she was right about her plan.

Landry pulled her hand off of Spencer and looked at Y/N. “You read my article?”

“I did, the one on the behavior of cells during suicide? I couldn’t agree more,” Y/N lied hoping Spencer, even in his out of mind state, would be able to play along.

“Flattery is not going to get you out of this, because I know what’s waiting for me outside,” Landry said, pointing to the window with her gun.

“I’ve arranged for your freedom,” Y/N bargained, again with a lie.

“The feds don’t make deals with people like me,” Landry stated matter-of-factly.

“Not true, if you have something to help them; Nazi scientists helped with the manhattan project, Mafia bosses are put in witsec, if what you have is valuable enough, they’ll take you,” Y/N corrected her. “That’s why Spencer didn’t want to accept your article because he knew you were right and he was upset he didn’t come up with it first.”

Spencer’s eyes lit in that realization moment that Y/N recognized. He was catching on to the game.

“It’s true after I read it, I was upset I couldn’t figure that out sooner, so I rejected it out of jealousy,” Spencer added, hoping that hearing him say it would allow her to believe it. “And what you have, is valuable.”

“And what do I have?” Landry asked, using her gun to make Spencer’s face look at her.

Please Spence, please say the right thing, Y/N plead internally.

“A brain that doesn’t work with normal societal rules.”

Right on the money, good doctor.

“I’m here because Spencer deserves someone like you, someone with a brain that’s as big and smart as his,” Y/N said, making her move to get Landry to hopefully let her guard down.

When Landry had no response, she spoke again. “Spencer, I’m sorry I don’t love you, I’m breaking up with you.”

Even though it was a lie, it hurt Y/N to say those words. It physically pained her.

“It’s okay, Y/N, I understand, because I chose Landry,” Spencer played into the lie.

Landry whipped her head around to Spencer. “You’re choosing me over her?”

“Yeah,” Spencer whispered.

“I don’t need her anymore,” Landry said, bringing her gun to Y/N’s head.

“Kill her and she won’t have to live with the fact that I chose you over her,” Spencer said, stopping Landry before she could shoot. “Let her live with her irrelevancy.”

“Fine,” Landry said, getting ready to push her out of the chair and out of the room. “But I just want her to see one more thing.”

Landry walked over, undid the zip ties, and connected her lips with Spencer’s. As best as he could he tried to play into it, but it felt too wrong and he barely even moved his lips.

Y/N just hoped Spencer could play it off long enough to where they could get her outside and arrest her.

“Liar,” Landry said, pulling herself away from Spencer. “Liar!” She pointed the gun at Spencer’s chest but quickly Y/N stood up and reached around her to pull the gun up as Landry fired a shot, missing Spencer completely. Y/N had got the gun out of her hand and it was thrown on the ground.

Landry quickly grabbed a knife off of a table next to her and held it to Y/N’s throat as the rest of the team entered when they heard the shot go off.

“Stay back! Stay back!” Spencer yelled as the team entered the room.

Y/N breathed in deeply as Landry held the knife to her throat. “Landry, Landry, remember what I said, I broke up with him, he’s choosing you, it’s going to take a second for him to be completely ready to kiss you or-or be with you.”

“Landry-” Spencer tried to plead.

“You didn’t want me!” Landry screeched, the knife coming off of Y/N’s neck slightly.

“I didn’t,” Spencer told her honestly. “But we can still arrange for your freedom.”

“No, you love her and I’ll never be her.”

Y/N quickly reached up and wrestled with Landry for the knife. Somewhere along the line, the knife ended up and Y/N’s abdomen.

Y/N sucked in a breath of pain as Landry pulled the knife out.

A shot sounded off from JJ’s gun and hit Landry in the chest as she turned around.

“Y/N!” Spencer’s voice echoed in the room as he ran up to her body falling on the ground.

“We need a medic!” Hotch’s voice boomed.

He caught her and helped bring her down to the ground, hand pressing on the wound on her stomach.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” she whispered, reaching a hand up to caress his cheek.

A tear rolled out of his eye, and that was just the beginning of them.

“Hey, bub, I heard you wore my ring,” she said, trying to bring him away from the fact she was just stabbed.

“Yeah, yeah I do,” he choked. He grabbed the hand that was holding his cheek, kissing the back of it, and showing her the ring still on his finger.

“I-I think you got me a ring too,” she whispered as she remembered the ring Landry left for her at the front door that she gave to Hotch.

“I did,” he whispered back, holding her hand clasped against his face.

She smiled softly, beginning to feel her eyes get heavy.

“Hey, hey, sweets, keep those eyes open, the paramedics are almost here,” Spencer begged as he watched her eyes get heavy. “I love you.”

The paramedics pried Y/N out of Spencer’s arms and brought her onto a board, but Spencer kept trying to grab for her.

His sobs racked his body violently as JJ and Derek held him back from running to her unconscious body. JJ shushed his sobs and cries for Y/N as she was taken out of the room and into the hospital.

-------------

“Spencer,” JJ’s voice echoed in Spencer’s head. “Spence.” She shook his shoulder.

Spencer stayed still, not having moved from his position on the ER bed all night as he stared at the same linoleum tile. Y/N had been in surgery for hours and his physical exam to see his injuries had been long done. He came out with a minor concussion and a few bruises like he thought, but his heart was in need of fixing.

He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe without knowing if Y/N was okay. If she was alive.

JJ kept saying his name but gave up after her fifth try and had no answer. She settled with placing the ring that Y/N gave to Hotch beside him on the bed.

He glanced down at the ring in its box, then back up at JJ. His eyes watered and then he let the tears fall as he picked up the box.

He needed someone right now to give him a sense of hope, to give him something to hold on to. Because if he didn’t have something, he might lose everything.

“I’m scared,” he admitted to JJ in a whisper.

“Oh, Spence,” she said sadly, wrapping her arms around his shoulder from her standing position. “She’s going to be okay, she’s too strong to die.”

Spencer let out a sob as he hugged JJ back.

In the waiting room, the rest of the team sat anxiously. Derek muttered some prayer to a God he struggled to believe in, in hopes that he might grant some mercy for Y/N.

Rossi prayed to a God he did believe in.

Blake closed her eyes and just hoped.

Penelope sat staring at a random tile on the floor, muttering “She’s gonna be okay” under her breath repeatedly.

Hotch paced back and forth in the room.

Spencer was told by a doctor he was allowed to go to the waiting room with the rest of the team. It wasn’t really a suggestion though, the ER nurse gave JJ a pleading look because they needed the bed for other patients.

“Spence, let’s go see the rest of the team,” JJ cooed, coaxing him up with one arm and leading him to the waiting room.

When they entered the room, each one of them looked up and gave Spencer a sad smile.

Penelope stood up from her chair though, walking over and standing in front of him. She was about to say something, her mouth opening, and closing while she struggled to get the voice out.

But Spencer knew what she meant and just nodded.

Penelope let out a sob and wrapped her arms around Spencer tightly. Her tears were full of fear for Y/N and sorrow for Spencer.

“Family of Y/N Y/L/N?”

Everyone faced the doctor that walked into the room.

“How is she?” Rossi asked, being the only one who could voice the question.

The doctor let out a breath that was anything but reassuring. “She coded, but we were able to bring her back. She’s out of surgery now but we don’t know when she’ll wake up.”

“But she’s okay?” Spencer asked, needing to hear those words so he could breathe again.

“She’s okay.”

Spencer took in a breath, finally feeling like he could breathe again.

“Can we see her?” Penelope asked.

“Yeah, follow me,” The doctor said and began leading the group to the room.

In the bed laid Y/N, connected to many I.V.’s and an oxygen tube up her nose. But she was there. Alive and breathing.

Spencer rushed to her side, grabbing her hand and lacing it with his. Tears of joy escaping his eyes.

---------------

Five days. That’s how long Y/N had been asleep for now. Hotch had given the team time off if needed, seeing as Y/N would need them as soon as she woke up.

Each day, a different member of the team would come in and hang out with Spencer. Who stayed there full time. He may have left once to take a shower and a couple of changes of clothes. Other than that, he hadn’t left Y/N’s side at all.

Penelope had brought many flowers, balloons, and baskets in for Y/N. She brought her favorite muffins for when she woke up, pink roses which were her favorite, and many balloons. So many balloons that when Penelope brought in more one day, he made her take some out so the new ones would have room.

Today was Rossi’s day in the rotation for visitation. He had been there a couple of times before, but only for an hour or two, today was his whole day he got to spend there.

“Hey, Kid,” Rossi greeted, handing him a coffee he brought.

“Hey, thanks,” Spencer said, taking the warm drink from his hand.

“No problem,” Rossi smiled, taking a seat in the chair on the other side of Y/N’s bed. “Has there been any changes?”

“No, doctors still don’t know why she hasn’t woken up,” Spencer sighed after taking a sip of the coffee. He looked up to her peaceful face. “I even called London, her best friend who’s a doctor and one of the best hospitals in the US, and she and her colleagues can’t figure out anything.” He took his hand out of her and brushed a piece of hair that had fallen in her face away.

Rossi smiled at Spencer’s gesture, hoping that she woke up soon so he didn’t have to watch Spencer torment himself anymore with staying there.

“How are you holding up?” Rossi asked, concern for the young man who he hadn’t seen outside this hospital in days.

“Alright, I guess,” Spencer answered truthfully.

When a comfortable silence fell between the two, the sounds of beeping coming from the heart monitor beating like a slow metronome in the back, Spencer began to laugh at a thought he had.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s not funny at all actually,” Spencer admitted and kept chuckling. “It’s just, um, on day three of her coma, I got mad.”

“At what?”

“At Y/N,” Spencer laughed, clearly needing sleep. “I was mad because when she left, she left me a letter and a ring, promising me she would come back safely, and now.”

Spencer's laugh soon faltered into a sob. “And now, she’s like this.”

Rossi looked at him with agony, he had never seen Spencer like this. So broken, so upset, so..unknowing.

“Spencer, I know it’s really hard to think of right now, but you have to push through,” Rossi told him, leaning forward in his seat. “You and I know she’s too competitive to die, she won’t let it beat her. Think of it as a time out in the game, she needs a second to figure out her game plan so she can come back and win.”

Spencer smiled at the analogy, reaching for Y/N’s hand again and squeezing it like he had done many times before. What surprised him this time about this time was, she squeezed back.

Spencer’s head jerked up to her eyes to see if hers were open. And low and behold, there they were, sparkling like they normally do and making his heart melt.

“Y/N…” Spencer whispered, standing up from his chair and sitting on the bed. His left hand reached up to caress her head. “You’re awake.”

“She is,” Rossi said with a bright smile, standing up from his seat. “I’m going to go get the doctor.” He reached his hand over the edge of the bed and squeezed her ankle before leaving.

“Thank you,” Spencer said and turned back to Y/N. He let out tears from his eyes as he looked down at the woman he loved with all his heart.

“Hey, don’t cry,” she soothed, wiping his tears away that fell down his face. “I’m okay, see.”

“I know, I know,” he laughed with tears.

He reached down and let their lips mold together. He poured all the emotion he could into the kiss, letting go of her hand so he could use both hands to hold her face. Her arms reached up to the short distance so her hands could cup his neck. His lips tasted like coffee, but they were a pain killer for anything Y/N was feeling right now.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered, his forehead resting on hers when they parted.

“I love you too,” she mumbled with a smile.

“Marry me,” Spencer blurted, pulling his forehead off of hers.

“What?”

“Marry me.” He dropped to one knee at her bedside, fumbling with the ring in its box as he pulled it out of his pocket. “I know that we have an inconvenient job, and terrible luck-”

“We have the shittiest luck,” Y/N agreed with a laugh.

“We do. But I believe...I believe that with you, I am the luckiest man alive. And there’s no way I could spend my life without you because you are the love of my life Y/N Y/L/N. Every moment I didn’t know you were okay, it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I-I just can’t imagine me without you.”

Y/N had tears pouring out of her eyes now, she loved this man with all her heart and soul.

“So, marry me,” Spencer finished, opening the box to reveal the ring Y/N had seen the other night.

“Yeah,” Y/N whispered, nodding her head furiously. “Yeah, I’ll marry you.”

Spencer’s mouth formed a wide smile as he pulled the ring out of the box and placing it on her finger. She reached up, grabbing her face and connected them in a loving kiss full of smiles and tears of joy.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added!!):

@throughparisallthroughrome @word-scribbless @nintendumbfuck @confused-and-really-hungry @andiebeaword @itsarayofsunshine @baby-i-am-fireproof @abitofeverythinggg @nanocoool @marceline-is-my-spirit-animal @fancyfaucet @im-a-raging-gay @atletino @mo-whore @peterparkersdestiny @bandsandjill @mbowles23-blog @sarcasm-n-insomnia @citrussirus @nerual222 @april-14-blog @reidloversisforever @heavenlyholland @justawildmarebae @sana-li @thesailbells @l0ve-0f-my-life @spencer101reid @spencersdolore @delicateprunecashpony @sader12345678 @dashlilymark @mysticalmagicmoon @onebigfangirlworld @saturn-mp4 @hurricanejjareau @thatweirdo466 @angryknightstatesmantrash @nograciass @danandphilfan6 @la-vie-en-amour1 @squirrellover1967 @reidswords @skyirates @spideyspencer @harrypressman @justine-en @absolutelynotsophie @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @mailikestruecrimetoomuch @dadchi-oya @marley1773 @lashtonandmalumsbaby @jesus-christ-ashtons-arms @lulurose17 @flowers-in-fields @multifandombb @aimzonicles97 @criminaly-supernatural @aperrywilliams @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @thatsonezesty13 @maya0819 @chaoticsteverogers @brendon-phan-stuff @cityofolympus @sungieeeeeee @notsofruitiesmoothie @cassiopeiaathena @voguekristens @fandomlover4091 @criminalminds-and-cookies

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #aaron hotchner #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #Criminal Minds #criminal minds meme #criminal minds imagine #criminal mids fic #best years series #derek morgan #derek morgan imagine #Penelope Garcia #emily prentiss

343 notes · View notes

badwolfrunning · 3 years

Text

Just in time for Dot Friday!

Just a cute, sending Dot to college, feels ficlet!

Dot finally got the zipper on her overstuffed suitcase sealed and whooshed out a sigh.

"How's it going, sister sib?" Yakko asked from the doorway. He stood arms crossed loosely leaning against the frame.

"Were you really just standing there watching me struggle?"

"Eeeeeh...no?" Clearly caught he had to laugh, "Consider it payback for moving away."

Dot flashed him a harsh look, "So you're obviously going to help me carry it out to make up for your pettiness."

Yakko rolled his eyes smiling, "Yeah I guess." He moved further into her room now practically bare. Most of what was staying, apparently, were a large poster and the major furniture. But photos, knickknacks, things that made the space distinctly Dot had been packed away ready to once more make their way across the country.

He eyed the suitcase sitting between the siblings.

"I could in fact help you cart this away, leaving me here," He threw his arm across his head dramatically, "All alone-not a sib in sight, quiet days," Yakko leaned onto the bed and started sinking down, "space to myself in the evenings, no one hogging the TV with video games or the landline with gossip. Actually," Yakko abruptly sat up," I was making a point...What was my point again?"

"You need a point to talk now?"

"Nah but I'm sure I was trying to make one."

Dot shook her head, "Your point is that you miss me already!"

Yakko snapped his fingers in feigned realization and jumped to his feet, "That's it!" His hands found Dot's shoulders. He went to say something when a flash of concern crossing his brow, "And you're absolutely sure-"

"Yes! Yakko! I'm sure! I want this, I want to go to college and I want to go back to California."

"Alright, alright, I got it this time, I swear." He put up his hands in defense

"And since I don't want you to feel completely alone like the sad old man you are-"

"-Hey I resemble that-"

"-I'll be back on breaks and I'll call. I promise."

"I know you will. Won't stop me from missing you."

"As it shouldn't, I'm incredible!"

"Yes you are."

Oh God.

He was looking at her with 'Dad eyes'. The moniker had been coined at Wakko's graduation from JTAP when the two younger sibs actually had several examples of proud dads to compare him to, ruining Yakko's argument that it wasn't the same thing.

Wakko had been the first of any of them to receive a real diploma, on top of that, his band had just been awarded a chance to record and sell a real single. Yakko was overcome with pride and joy. And as a result was misty eyed for most of the day.

As much as he tried to play cool, if his sibs were doing something amazing he was usually a goner.

The 'Dad eyes' look itself was something caught between sadness, nostalgia and pride. It was overwhelming to receive. Especially right now. Part of her didn't want him so proud, not while she was so terrified.

This was a big, exciting, intimidating new move for her. She watched both of her brothers make big bold choices like this and now that it was finally her turn, and she was almost petrified!

Truth was, Dot had never known normal life without either of her brothers and now she was going to be completely on her own.

She didn't remember their parents and whenever she tried to picture them, Yakko's was the only face that came to mind. And she wouldn't see him for at least 4 months.

At least that was on purpose this time.

Dot's breath hitched in her throat as words poured out rapid fire. She launched herself into a hug.

"I haven't even done anything! I wanna tell you not to worry but I don't know if you shouldn't cause I don't know anything about what to expect. I know I'll probably make mistakes and I just don't want you to be disappointed so please just don't be proud of me yet!"

"Dorothy Warner, what are you talking about?!" Yakko pulled her back by her shoulders to look her dead in the eye incredulous, "Not be proud of you?!"

He looked up, her vanity mirror was still just behind her, "Here," he turned her to it.

"Look.”

She looked bleary-eyed into the mirror at the two of them. “Look at you, Dot. Look at this incredible, vivacious, intelligent young woman I get to call my sister."

Dot sniffled not realizing how much she'd teared up until now. Yakko's voice was nasally, he was tearing up too.

But he kept his tone soft and steady hand on her shoulder, "You will probably make mistakes, it's true. But I am never more than a phone call away and no matter what I will always be proud to call you my sister."

"And you'll try not to worry?"

"I promise to try but beyond that eeehhh," he let out a watery laugh and sniffled, "Don't hold your breath." With a finger under her chin he lifted her gaze, "You've got a whole world to explore, Dot, I just wish I could be there with you."

"We would make a great road trip comedy," she said trying to leverage the big wet emotions in her throat.

"Like an Extremely Warners Movie?"

"Yikes."

"I'm sure I can find an afro."

"Oh please, no!" Dot laughed composing herself, "No I...I want to do this one myself. Just me."

"Alright-" they were interrupted by a knock on the front door which subsequently opened. Babs' voice calling out,

"Hey college kid, you ready?"

"Well all aboard," Yakko checked his watch, "5 minutes early as per usual. Come on, kiddo, let's get this stuff outta here, huh?"

Dot nodded and grabbed the smaller of the bags while Yakko took the larger. By the time he rounded the corner Dot was greeting Babs with a quick hug.

The Warner sister headed past the door.

"We could use just one more set of hands," Yakko said, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Darn and me without any excuses."

With Babs' help everything was set in about oneish trips down the apartment elevator. The -ish being Dot doing one last sweep of her room to make sure she had everything.

She tried to shake the obvious thoughts protruding about how perfect this all seemed for exactly 3 people. More tears stung her eyes. Hot, angry tears.

Stupid Wakko. Stupid band. Stupid tour! She teetered around mentally, cursing out her second oldest brother.

Dot took a deep breath as she left her room and paused outside Wakko's door.

No. Not stupid Wakko, though he certainly seemed to try to earn that title. Today was exciting. Plus, she'd see Wakko again on the break. He was set to be home for Christmas this year. They'd actually get to spend it together.

The Warners three finally back in the same place at the same time. She couldn't wait. But first. Dot exited her brother's room with his favorite blue hoodie in hand.

Dot pulled the apartment door shut tight and locked it, pocketing her keys. Her hand lingered on the door, so sue her she was a bit theatrical after all.

She took a deep breath, took her hand back and made her way back down to Babs' car.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yakkoooooo!"

He knew he should let go but he couldn't seem to get his arms to respond.

"Okay, okay." The fur under his eyes was noticeably damp and slightly matted. "You sure you have everything you need-"

"Yes, Yakko, I have everything except a brother who can remember to breathe!"

Dot shouldered her carry on and turned to Babs who offered what reassurance she could, "Don't worry, I've got him."

"Thanks, Babs." The older girl offered a quick hug, lingering her arm over Dot's shoulders.

"But if I have to handle his panicked mess because you forgot to call, I'll get you," she winked and intercepted Yakko's hand before he could trap his sister in another bone crushing hug.

Dot stepped onto the foot of the escalator. Here we go.

She turned to wave, "Bye!"

Yakko was still waving as Dot disappeared over the escalator to catch her flight. Sending her off was somehow even more difficult than it was with Wakko.

Babs looped her arm in his as if stopping any instinct he might have to go after her. "Come on," she pulled him lightly and he followed reluctantly.

They climbed into her car and set off. The ride was mostly silent. Yakko's eyes had set solidly outside the window.

Part of him was glad they weren't in LA. It was harder to picture his sibs as small as he wanted them to be when the city that surrounded him only knew them as teenagers. Still, every five minutes or so he felt his stomach clench and his heart rate picked up.

It had been years since either of them actually fit in one of his arms, despite his having grown significantly too.

His baby sibs weren't babies anymore. Well, they hadn't been for a very long time. But for some reason everytime he remembered that it hit like the first.

Wakko had been going nonstop around the world, a literal rockstar that never failed to impress and inspire him.

Dot decided to go to college with a focus in production and film business. There was no doubt in his mind she could revolutionize the industry should she choose.

Both of them had exceeded everything he ever thought would be remotely possible for them.

And Yakko himself? He was sure to find his own new adventure soon.

They rolled to a stop at a light and Babs took his hand with a squeeze, "You good?"

Her blue eyes shone in the early morning light.

Then again, maybe he already had. He squeezed her hand back, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth and he nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm good."

#dot friday #animaniacs #yakko warner #animaniacs 1993 #animaniacs 2020 #dot warner #babs bunny #family bonds #family bonds au #yes i headcanon her name is dorothy #it's what it is in family #bonds has her as Angelina #i think family used that as her middle name?

20 notes · View notes

reidingandwriting · 4 years

Text

A Thousand Years

Word Count: ~3,600 words

Ship: Aaron Hotchner x Reader (my first Hotch fic!!)

Warnings: A curse word or two, a suggestion towards smut; dialogue and plot kind of follows scenes from season 7, but plenty of originality :)

A/N: Credit for the inspiration goes to imreallyfunnybtw on TikTok!! The video that inspired this video is linked here. Can I please have an Aaron Hotchner of my own? This takes place around season 7, except for Beth it’s Y/N! I wrote this as a gender neutral reader with no descriptors, but if I missed anything while editing, please let me know :) I got permission from the creator to post this, so I hope it doesn’t disappoint!!

When Hotch lost Haley, he never really planned on getting into another relationship. He went on the occasional date, being dragged into playing a wingman role while with Rossi, but there was never that spark. There was never that feeling he had always heard of, that moment you knew you wanted that person in your life. And it’s not like he had much time for another person in his life. When he wasn’t at home with Jack, he was at work- whether that was at the FBI Headquarters in Quantico, or in another state for days at a time. And when he wasn’t working, Aaron valued every moment he could get with his son. When he did have time for himself, he often found himself in the park. And that’s where he met you. He had just finished his run when you came along.

------

“Either you do sprints for fun,” Hotch turned around as he heard a voice, a person jogging over and stopping a few feet away, “or you’re training for something. I hope it’s the latter because only a sadist would sprint like that.”

“No, I’m.. I’m trying to do this triathlon in February.” He spoke between pants, and your eyes lit up in recognition.

“The FBI one, right? You’re an agent? Oh, shit. I’m not supposed to ask if you’re an agent.”

“Yeah, the FBI one. I work for the,” a brief pause, “justice department.” A faint smile graced his lips, and you felt your own mood lifting at the sight. “I’m guessing you’re training, too?”

“Yeah. For a MS triathlon, in January. I’m not in nearly as big of a rush as you though.”

“Well, I only have about forty five minutes a day. Between work and home, it’s… hard. And that’s just for the running. For biking? I’m pretty sure my tires are inflated.” Hotch let out a laugh and you smiled, an idea now in your mind.

“Well, I was planning on cycling this weekend. I’m not the best cyclist, so I could always use a partner. If you’re not busy.”

“I, uh, don’t know my schedule for work yet. But I should know in the next few days, and I could call you?” Hotch asked and you nodded.

“Yeah! Yeah. I have a card somewhere.” You pulled a card out of your armband and handed it to Hotch. “If you have any free time this weekend, give me a call.” You started to walk off, but stopped when you heard him speak again.

“So, what made you think I was an agent?” You turned around and shrugged.

“I saw your suit. What else could you be?” And with a wave, you spun back around and jogged off with a laugh. Hotch watched you with a smile that didn’t leave until he got to work.

“So, are your tires all pumped and ready?” You asked as you settled on your bike. It was late Friday night when you got the call from Hotch, where he asked if you were free in the morning. You happily agreed, and now you were back in the park where you had met- bright and early on a Saturday morning.

“Hopefully. So, you haven’t done a lot of biking?” Hotch asked and you shook your head. “But you’re going to do a triathlon?”

“Go big or go home.” You put your helmet on and adjusted the strap, and the look on Aaron’s face made you giggle. “That’s what my dad always says.”

“Your dad sounds smart.”

“He was. He passed away a couple months ago.” You weren’t a profiler, but it didn’t take one to notice the emotion that flashed through his eyes, the understanding. He’d been through loss as well.

“I’m sorry. Is your mom still alive?” Hotch asked.

“Yeah. She’s doing a lot better.”

“That’s good. And how are you?”

“I’m hanging in there.” A silent moment of understanding passed before you spoke again. “So, where are we headed?”

“I usually go up Connecticut, through Rock Creek Park, then back through Sixteenth. But we don’t have to do all that if you don’t want to.” “No, let’s do it.” You shifted as Aaron put on his helmet. “If we lose each other, we will meet back up with each other at Dupont Circle for coffee.”

“If we lose each other?” Aaron’s brows furrowed. “I thought we were doing this together.”

“The chase is the best part of it.” You winked before you pushed off the ground and pedaled away. Hotch shook his head, a fond smile on his face as he got on his bike and pedaled off after you.

------

That bike ride became the first of many training sessions together, which led to a few dates sprinkled in between. Whether he’d admit it or not is a whole other story, but you had worked your way into Aaron’s heart. While the two of you hadn’t been official for long, he felt as if your connection had been there from day one. Hotch was grateful for that feeling, which made your first real date much less nerve-wracking. It was Valentine’s Day, thank you Morgan for the reminder, and Hotch couldn’t remember the last time he felt that nervous for a date.

------

Aaron stood on your front porch, bouquet of flowers in one hand, and his other knocked on your door. He took a deep breath to compose himself right as you opened the door.

“Hi.” You said as you opened the door. “Oh, the flowers are beautiful. Thank you.” You took the flowers from Aaron. “I didn’t think we had anything planned.”

“You’re welcome.” Hotch said and he watched as you lowered your head to sniff the flowers. “And we didn’t, but I just get called away so often. So I thought we should take the opportunity while we had it.”

“That was very thoughtful. Let me grab my stuff and I’ll be right back.” You stepped inside and set the flowers down, then fixed your hair before you grabbed a sweater. Perfect, you nodded at your reflection in the mirror by your door before you stepped back out to meet Aaron. “So, what’s our plan?” You asked as you closed your door, locking it.

“Well, I suppose I could tell you. But, uh, I don’t want to ruin the surprise.” He flashed a pair of tickets at you and you gasped. “So I guess you’ll have to trust me.”

“My first mistake.” You teased as Aaron started to walk down the stairs. “Oh!”

“Did you forget something?” Hotch turned to face you and you took a step closer to him.

“This.” You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips, which he gladly returned. You broke apart seconds later, a lovesick look on both of your faces. “Thought I should spare us the awkwardness later.” You walked down the stairs and offered your hand out to Aaron, and he took your hand, lacing your fingers together. “You don’t have the market cornered on surprises, Aaron.”

“It’s not often I’m left speechless, but I am now.” Aaron’s laughter filled the street and you had discovered your favorite sound, and you wanted to hear it forever.

------

After that date, Hotch knew he wanted you to meet Jack. And you couldn’t wait to meet him. Needless to say, both of you were nervous about the meeting. Aaron because you were his girlfriend, and Jack was his son. And you knew Jack was the most important person in Aaron’s life, and you wouldn’t want anything to come in between the two of them, so you hoped with all of your being that you and Jack would get along. You both had decided the FBI Triathlon would be the perfect time for you to meet his son.

------

You were a few feet away from all the commotion as Hotch crossed the finish line, and you were cheering the entire time. You saw a group of people move over towards Hotch once he crossed, and you guessed they were his team, especially when one of the men set down a kid who then ran over to Aaron. Jack, you thought to yourself with a smile. He took a drink from a volunteer, thanking them, before he bent down to Jack’s level and put his medal on the hyper boy, a homemade sign clutched in his hands. Hotch talked to the group for a minute before you called his name.

“Hotchner!”

“Y/N!” Hotch looked up then looked back at Jack. “Jack, there’s someone I want you to meet, come here.” You met Hotch halfway and tightly embraced him, a big grin on both of your faces.

“You were amazing, congratulations.” You let go of him after a minute and Hotch stepped back.

“Thanks. Y/N, I’d like you to meet my son, Jack. Jack, this is my friend, Y/N.”

“Hi.” Jack smiled up at you and you bent down, shaking his hand.

“Hey there, Jack, it’s nice to meet you.” Your nerves had melted away once you saw Aaron with Jack, and you felt much more at ease.

“Do you work with my dad, too?”

“No, we’re just friends.” You looked up at Hotch before you knelt to Jack’s level.”Did you make that yourself?” You nodded towards his sign, which he showed off when you mentioned it.

“Yep! I cut it myself. And put the sparkles on it, too.”

“You know what? I look at art all day long. And that, my friend, is pretty good.”

“Thank you.” Jack said.

“You’re welcome!” You stood back up and Aaron spoke.

“We’re going to get something to eat. Do you want to come?” Aaron asked you and you nodded.

“Sure.”

“Okay, great.” Hotch led the way, Jack beside him, and you followed as the three of you made your way to his car. And all of you were oblivious to the looks on the faces of the team just a few feet away.

“Who is that?” Morgan asked.

“Did you know he was seeing someone?” Spencer asked as he watched the pair.

“They’re so cute together.” Garcia cooed.

“Come on, let’s leave them alone.” Rossi ushered the group away and Emily turned to him with a gasp.

“You knew!”

------

Months had flown by since you first met Jack, and you frequented the Hotchner household, each time better than the last. It started off with a dinner here and there on the weekends, or a night where you’d play games or watch a movie until Jack fell asleep- where you’d then spend some time talking quietly with Aaron, your bodies curled into each other’s, before you headed home. Until one night, where he asked you to stay.

“Stay with me? Uh, with us. You could stay for breakfast before we go to work.” Hotch had asked, and how could you say no to him? That night together, with your head against Aaron’s chest and his arms wrapped around you, you both knew that you wanted many more nights like those. After that, you spent most of your free time with the Hotchners. Building forts with Jack and helping him with homework, cooking dinner with Aaron and doing little things around the house to give him more time with his son.

When Hotch met you, he never imagined that, months later, he would be in a serious relationship with you. But ever since you had entered his life, you had proved yourself to be resilient. And completely unpredictable. That was something Aaron loved about you, he never knew exactly what was running through your mind. Which led him to now.

He’s seen a lot of unexpected things in his life, he worked as a profiler for god’s sake. But the one thing he never expected was to see you, dancing around in the rain with Jack, your phone playing music from its spot on the front porch. Of course it was on the railing, you knew how worried your boyfriend got over you breaking your phone. Again.

“Y/N, please, quit leaning over the railing.” Hotch’s ‘dad voice’ came out in full effect as he saw you leaned over the side of a bridge, your phone in your outstretched arm. Your other hand was holding Jack’s, who was content looking at the fish in the river below the bridge.

“Just a second! I want to get a good picture.”

“You can get just as good of a picture without dangling.” Aaron tried to reason, but you waved him off. Unfortunately for you, with your wave, you sent your phone flying down into the water below.

“Oh, sh-oot.” You turned towards Hotch, your eyes narrowed as you pointed at him. “I blame you.”

“Me?!”

Hotch grabbed your phone and set it somewhere safer and shook his head at the sight in front of him. You and Jack were both wearing your rain boots, and you were loudly singing along with the music. Jack tried to protest through his laughter, feigning embarrassment, but you scooped him into your arms as you kept singing.

“Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit. He took the midnight train going anywhere!” You spun around as you sang the last word, and the sound of Jack’s laughter made Aaron smile. You set Jack down and you continued dancing, cheering when Jack danced around with you. You didn’t see Aaron on the porch until Jack pointed him out.

“Dad! Come play with us.”

“Yeah, Aaron, come play.” You pouted at Hotch, but he didn’t miss the teasing glint in your eyes. “Or are you too cool to join us?”

“And miss out on watching you two? Maybe later.” Hotch chuckled as he leaned against the railing of the porch. You shrugged as you turned back to Jack.

“Bet I can make a bigger splash in that puddle.” You pointed towards a puddle a few feet away, and Jack ran off, accepting your challenge. You winked at Aaron before running after him. You continued to jump around in the puddles in the yard, and you made sure to let Jack win a few rounds of your splash contest.

You squealed when the song changed to a song Aaron was familiar with, and you looked at him. “Turn it up!” Hotch groaned dramatically but turned the song up as you started dancing and singing.

“Kiss me once cause you know I had a long night. Kiss me twice cause it's gonna be alright. Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life. One, two, one two three four! I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings.” You continued to dance to the music and Aaron couldn’t help but notice how happy you looked. How happy Jack looked. Your connection with him wasn’t forced, you never pushed or tried to put yourself in a situation until you knew Jack and Aaron both were okay with it. Hotch was more nervous than words could explain when it came to you and Jack, but the sight in front of him made his worries melt away. You were dancing, hands up in the air as you twirled around, laughing as you stumbled and nearly fell back into a puddle. Jack was doubled over in laughter and you playfully narrowed your eyes at him.

“Oh, you think it’s funny, huh?” Once you were steady on your feet, you began to count. “Three… two…” Jack’s eyes widened and he ran to hide behind his dad.

“Base! Can’t get me up here.” Jack peeked out at you and stuck his tongue out, and you mimicked him. “Wait, need a break. Need a snack, then we can keep playing?”

“Of course we can. Take your shoes off at the door.” Aaron said to Jack as he went inside.

Once Jack was inside, you walked over to Aaron, still swaying your hips to the music, until you reached the steps. You then held your hand out and looked up at him. “Come on, you have to come dance. Let loose a little, have some fun.” “I can ‘let loose’ without getting rained on.” Hotch said and you pouted.

“Please? Just one dance. Then I’ll let you continue to be a grumpy old man who’s allergic to fun.” Hotch narrowed his eyes at you, and you smirked, knowing you had him now.

“Old man, huh? I’ll remember that.”

“I’m sure you’ll remind me tonight.” You climbed up the steps of the porch and grabbed your phone. You scrolled through your music before you found the song you were looking for. “But first,” you pressed play on the song before you took Aaron’s hands, “we dance.” You led Aaron down to his front yard and turned to face him. “You do know how to slow dance, right?”

“Let’s find out.” Hotch pulled you into him as the song played, letting the music lead as you started to dance. The rain drizzled over both of you, but you smiled up at him as you danced.

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

“I can’t hear this song without thinking of those stupid Twilight movies you showed me.” Hotch chuckled as you danced, his arms warm against your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“They were such a vital part of pop culture for years, they are not stupid.” You scoffed. “You were so into them. If I remember correctly, you gasped at the last movie when you thought Carlisle died.”

“Hmm, can’t say I remember that.” Hotch tried to deny but you saw the smile he tried hard to suppress.

“I may not be a profiler like you, but I do know when you’re lying.” You rested your head against his chest and let the steady sound of his heartbeat relax you.

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

“You’re really good with him.” Hotch spoke after a minute and you looked up at him. He had a soft smile on his face and a certain look in his eyes you couldn’t decipher. Love, maybe? You felt your cheeks heat up at the thought, and you shook your head to clear your mind.

“He’s a great kid. He has a pretty awesome dad, too.” Aaron leaned down and pressed a kiss to your head, your wet hair tickling his face.

“And he has you. He loves you, you know?” You smiled and combed your fingers through his hair. “We both do.”

“I love him, too.” You leaned up, your lips brushing against Aaron’s as you whispered. “And... I love you.” Hotch closed the gap between you two, and the feeling of his lips against yours still gave you butterflies after all these months you’ve spent together.

I have died everyday, waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

You pulled apart moments later, a lovesick smile on Aaron’s face and yours. You breathed out a sigh as Aaron brushed your hair out of your face, before he pressed a kiss to your forehead. You closed your eyes, enjoying the peaceful moment before you heard the front door open and close.

“Daddy, Y/N, I have popsicles!” You and Aaron laughed as you looked at Jack, who held three popsicles in his hand.

“We’ll be right there, buddy.” Hotch said to Jack before he looked at you again. “Hope you like the blue ones, red is mine.”

“Blue is the best anyways.” You ran your finger down Hotch’s blue shirt before you took his hand and walked over to the front porch.

“The team wants to meet you. Properly, at Rossi’s. Jess has already agreed to watch Jack, if you want to go. Dinner on Sunday?” Aaron looked over at you and you looked up at him.

“I’d love to. You’ve told me so much about them, I can’t wait to properly meet them.” You climbed up the porch stairs and took a seat beside Jack, Aaron sitting on the other side of him. “Rossi’s got some big shoes to fill, with our little chef in training here. He made some amazing pancakes with me this morning.” You ruffled Jack’s hair and took the popsicle he held out for you. “Thank you, Jack.”

“I think those were the best pancakes I’ve ever had.” Hotch took the other popsicle from Jack, kissed his head, and thanked him. “Maybe Jack should cook dinner, too.” Jack giggled and shook his head.

“You promised Chinese noodles.”

“Lo mein.” You corrected him.

“Lo mein.” Jack mimicked before handing his popsicle to you. “Please?” You tore the popsicle wrapper open and handed it back to him. He accepted it with a soft ‘thank you’ and tucked himself into your side.

“You did promise at lunch we could have takeout for dinner. Since Jack ate those disgust- I mean, delicious brussel sprouts without complaining.” You corrected yourself when Hotch’s eyes playfully narrowed at you.

“Y/N didn’t even eat theirs without making faces.” Jack spoke as he bit into his popsicle and you gasped.

“I did not! You’re imagining things, bud.” You patted his head and bit your popsicle. Jack dove into a detailed retelling of lunch, and the sound of your laughter along with Jack’s storytelling filled Aaron’s ears and he couldn’t be happier this was his life.

And all along I believed, I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Taglist: @ssa-sugar-tits and @spidey-reids-2003 ❤ Taglist and requests are OPEN, just send me an ask or a message :)

86 notes · View notes

call-me-rei · 3 years

Text

Chapter 4: Be My Guest

I’ve been thinking about Kellin a lot since I left that voicemail. How we met and how we drifted apart specifically. Memories of him and I together invaded my thoughts at random moments. Sometimes I’d reflect fondly at them, but days like today I resented how vivid they were.

I hated that those memories appeared at random times. It was like reliving grief, when the thoughts of better times flooded your mind when you least expected. You thought you were getting better, but all of a sudden the sadness takes over and you have no choice but to remember all the good times and miss the person they were with.

It hurt.

Today was a day I wished I’d never messaged him to work together. I wished I didn’t see those mentions and that my bandmates didn’t insist that we write a song with him. Then I wouldn’t have had to call him and ask if he’d want to sing that stupid song with us all summer on tour.

But I also couldn’t deny that I was glad I’d met him. I was glad we had a hit song and that it brought us to knowing each other and becoming friends. I was happy to be able to share so many moments with him. I could honestly say that knowing him was a highlight to my life.

That didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous about seeing him again though.

Kellin and I hadn’t hung out or had a proper conversation in years. Now we may be performing together for two and a half months. That meant rehearsals together, sound checks, coordinating our schedules, and interviews since the media loved putting the two of us in awkward situations with each other. But hey, fans loved it so what was the harm, right?

Whatever, that didn’t matter. I needed to focus on one thing at a time.

So that’s what I did. I focused on the present. I put the last few days and memories of the last few years behind me and looked down at the page in front of me. I tried to focus on the draft setlist I was making for Warped Tour that I’d show the guys and have them edit. We were only given thirty-five minutes on stage and I wanted each of them to count. But in order to get that perfect set we had to deliberate over our own music. It was hard, but there were a couple of songs I was certain we needed on the set.

The first song on the list was “Dive In” from our fourth album. I always liked to say that it was a great introduction to the band, especially for those who’d never listened to us before. It had a bit of every sound we’d used in previous albums and really showcased who we were. I loved using it to open our sets.

The next songs came from all of our albums, but we’d have to discuss which ones we wanted to keep and the ones we’d need to switch out for something better.

The last song on the list was “King For A Day”. When my band would tour with Sleeping With Sirens, we’d end each show with that song. Soon that became our closer whether Kellin would be on stage with us or not. I didn’t want to break tradition, so I put the song there. If Kellin decided he didn’t want to sing with us this tour then we’d still play it. It was a fan-favorite, and it wasn’t like us to let fans down.

Speaking of which, I wondered…

I checked my phone for the third time in that half hour to see the same screen void of notifications. I saw that coming but it hurt nonetheless.

With a sigh I put my phone down and put my head in my hands, frustrated that I was only able to get about ten minutes of peace before my mind went back to him. Why was I thinking about him so much? How did one phone call trigger all of these thoughts? My mom used to tell me that you thought about a person more when they were going to be in your life. For instance, you’d think about having a baby if you were pregnant and didn’t know it. She told me that’s how she knew I was coming into the world, so I took her word for it.

Did that mean that Kellin was coming back into my life? Was he going to agree to my proposal? If he was, he hadn’t said anything. Not a call back, not a text, nothing. Maybe I was stressing out because tour was coming quickly and I knew he’d be there. That had to be it.

I wasn’t sure how civil we’d be with one another. Would things be awkward since we hadn’t properly talked in so long? Maybe, that was a very real possibility. I knew that Kellin would ramble if he felt nervous, or he’d shut down completely. I didn’t want either of those things to happen when he was with me. He was always so comfortable around me. Sure, when we first met in person he was standoffish, but he warmed up quickly and it was like we were old pals.

Kind of like our many talks on FaceTime.

I missed those talks and the texts we’d send when we hung up. I missed him. I missed how close we used to be and how comfortable we once were around each other. We used to talk for hours on end and now I couldn’t get a second reply back from a text.

Or a voicemail.

He hadn’t called me back after I left that message days ago, not that I expected him to. I knew it was a long shot since that was the theme of our relationship nowadays, but I at least thought I deserved some common courtesy. You know, call the person back when they call you, or listen to the message and follow up. Instead I got nothing.

I should’ve been angry. I should’ve taken it as a sign that he didn’t want to work with me again. But I couldn’t. I wanted to think the best of him, so my mind told me to ignore all the red flags and hope that maybe he got too busy to reply.

For four days.

I sighed as I wiped my hand down my face. This was stupid. I was being stupid. Why was I so hung up on someone who clearly didn’t want anything to do with me? He’d shown me that time and time again, so why couldn’t I just accept it?

Part of me thought it was because I wanted to know what could have been. If we’d had met in person when fans asked us to do a song together on Twitter rather than writing to each through email and talking on video. If we’d spent time recording in the same studio and having those late nights after hours. If we’d spent more time together on tours and learned more about each other.

If I’d kept my promise to myself and not let him slip away.

Maybe I was delusional. Maybe I was stupid. Maybe I was playing too much into it since it was obvious that he wasn’t aware of my feelings for him. He never noticed how flustered I would get when he so much as said my name.

Maybe I should stop focusing on the past and worry about the here and now. Digging up old memories never helped anyone.

As if the universe was reading my mind, my phone lit up. I picked it up seeing a text from my brother saying he and the guys were at the door. I took a deep breath to compose myself, grabbed the draft page from the desk, and walked to the front to let them in.

“Alright, I’m ready! Let’s do this!” I chuckled at Jaime as I closed the door behind him.

We loved picking the setlist for our shows. For one, it was a chance for us to get together and relive the memories behind our songs. For two, we kind of treated the process like a small hangout. Sometimes we ordered food or had a few drinks while we did it. We found it made it easier for us to cut songs off the list if we weren’t thinking about it too hard.

I walked into the living room in time to see Mike walk in with four beers in hand; Tony and Jaime were already seated. I grabbed one before taking a seat at the end of the couch next to Jaime.

“You guys ready?” I asked. Without a word they lifted their bottles along with me and took a sip.

“Okay boys, let’s get to it.”

***

We’d worked for about an hour before we decided to take a break. Well, an official break. Most of the hour was spent with us cracking jokes at each other’s suggestions then going off on tangents. The beer really helped with that part.

The problem with picking a setlist was figuring out which songs fit the tour, which songs needed to be practiced more, and having to talk with the production team to see what effects could be pulled off in the venue. Currently we were stuck on the second problem. We had ten songs so far, but we needed to cut one seeing as having all ten wouldn’t allow for much time for Tony or me to change guitars if we needed to.

“Maybe we should cut ‘Phantom’.” I gawked at Tony’s suggestion.

“Are you kidding? ‘Phantom’ is gonna kill! If anything, we should cut ‘Besitos’.”

His eyes went wide. “Don’t you dare!” Tony loved “Besitos” since it gave him a chance to play crazy riffs on his guitar. He hated when we started cutting it from our sets once our more recent albums came out.

Mike’s booming laughter sounded after Tony’s exclamation. “Tone, it’s such an old song. I think we can do without it.”

Tony pouted and crossed his arms as he sank into the couch. “Whatever,” he mumbled. “Hime, you’re on my side on this, right? Hime?”

The three of us looked to Jaime when he didn’t respond, seeing that he was engrossed with something on his phone.

I scowled. “Hey Hime, you wanna put your phone down and help us out?”

“Yeah, sorry.” He quickly typed and sent his message then locked his phone after we heard the swoosh tone. He was almost able to set it down on the table in front of him when it dinged again.

I huffed, “Jaime.”

“Sorry, sorry.” His repeated his previous actions – typing on the screen and going to place it on the table – but was able to set his phone down this time. I nodded to him in thanks and went back to work.

“So like we were saying, Hime, ‘Besitos,’ yes or n- “

I didn’t get the chance to finish my sentence due to the ding from Jaime’s phone cutting me off. He reached for it, but I beat him to it, grabbing it off the table.

“Hey!”

“Relax, I’m just gonna tell Jess that you’re busy.” Jess was Jaime’s wife and she usually respected that we were working. If Jaime told her he was going to be with us she wouldn’t call or text unless Jaime did first. Besides, she’s a teacher so there wasn’t much time for her to do so anyway. It was weird that she’d keep texting so often, but then again he had been texting her back. It was easy to assume that we weren’t busy when he was doing that.

I had every intention of telling Jess that her husband was unavailable at that moment, but when I looked down at the screen as his phone dinged the air left my body.

“Uh, Hime?” He hummed. “Why is Kellin texting you?”

“Oh, uh…”

I looked at him with an unamused expression. When he didn’t continue, I looked to the other two people in the room. Tony looked nervous and avoided eye contact while Mike looked nonchalant about it all. Were they afraid of this conversation? Did they know Jaime was talking to Kellin?

I looked back to Jaime who had yet to respond. “I’m listening,” I urged.

“Relax,” he put his hands up as he spoke, “he’s just asking me some questions.”

“Questions?”

“Yeah, that’s it. I’m just providing information.”

“Information?” He nodded. “About what?”

“Well he asked about Warped and doing ‘King For A Day’ and-“

“Wait, he’s asking you?” That alone insulted me. I could get over Jaime talking to Kellin because it didn’t matter much. They were friends and friends talk, no big deal. What bothered me was the fact that I was the one who called and asked him if he wanted to do the damn song with us, and I was the one he never responded to. Why was he talking to Jaime about it when I reached out in the first place?

“Yeah man. It’s no big deal.”

I scowled. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal to him, but it was to me. It was as if Kellin was adding insult to injury by first ignoring me then going behind my back with my best friend. He couldn’t be bothered to respond to my voicemail, but he and Jaime had been texting for who knows how long about who knows what.

I took a deep breath to calm the thoughts in my head. I didn’t need to be angry at Jaime, at least that’s what I tried to tell myself in the back of my mind. The loudest thoughts in my head were telling me to be pissed about the situation. He had hidden it from me and he probably wouldn’t have told me if I had not picked up his phone. It was hard to ignore that reasoning.

“So he’s been texting you this whole time?” Jaime nodded. “About performing with us?”

“Among other things,” he responded with hesitation. That caught the undivided attention of all three of us.

I quirked an eyebrow. “Other things? What other things?” He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit that he had. “Hime?”

“Just…more questions?”

“Really? You sound unsure.”

“Because you’re freaking me out, bro! Take a breath. Relax your shoulders.”

I pursed my lips as I stared at him with furrowed eyebrows. He looked genuinely worried which made me take a metaphorical step back. I was scaring my friend, something I never wanted to do. I wasn’t a violent person, but he apparently thought I would lash out. Reminding myself once again that there was no real reason to be upset with Jaime, I took a deep breath and let go of the tension in my body.

“Okay,” I started again, calmer now, “what else has Kellin asked you about?”

Jaime sighed. “He was asking about you,” he said softly.

“Me or the band?”

“You.”

“Why’d he ask about Vic?” Tony spoke up. His face held the confusion that I was feeling.

Jaime shrugged. “That’s a question for Kellin, but he does wanna talk to you.”

I tossed Jaime’s phone next to me on the couch before I leaned back in annoyance. He wanted to talk to me but wouldn’t talk to me? He had to go through a third party? Either his anxiety concerning me was high or he was fucking with me. I didn’t appreciate it if it was the latter.

What the hell did he want to talk to me about, and why couldn’t he just do it? It’s not like I wasn’t available for him to reach out to me, he just never did. Suddenly the memoires of us that I was trying to forget were replaced with frustration toward him. I no longer cared to know how he was doing, or if he wanted to hang out with me, or if he thought about me as much as I had been thinking about him. No, now I wanted to scream in his face.

“Well tell him-” I was cut off by the sound of my doorbell echoing through the room. We all looked at each other, almost daring one of us to stand and leave the awkward situation. No one made a move.

The bell rang twice more after an extended period of silence, followed by some knocks. “Well, if you guys aren’t gonna get it.” Jaime got up with an exasperated sigh and walked to the front of the house. It was as if that action took us out of our trance because we all followed him once he’d left the living room.

We reached him right as he opened the door, and for the second time that afternoon the air left my body.

“What’s up, dude?”

He was here. Kellin Quinn was at my door. Why the hell was Kellin at my door?

He and Jaime hugged before he turned to me and the other guys. He looked to us with a relaxed smile completely ignoring our surprised expressions. “Hey guys.”

“Hey Kellin,” Mike said slowly. “What…what are you doing here?”

“Oh, well Jaime told me you guys were going to be rehearsing today and he invited me over. I thought he told you.” Suddenly four pairs of eyes were looking at our bassist with varying levels of confusion.

He put his hands up. “I was about to tell you before,” he waved his hand around vaguely, “all that happened.”

“Anyway…,” Kellin got the attention of the room again, “do you mind if I tag along?”

The guys looked to me, obviously trying to gauge how I was feeling about the current situation. I would’ve said no, would’ve cussed him out like I wanted to just a minute ago, but seeing him on my porch with his shy smile and big green, hopeful eyes made me take back every rude thing I had thought earlier.

I sighed to myself for being such a sucker for him. “Yeah, sure,” I answered, keeping eye contact with him. “We were actually about to head over to our rehearsal space if you wanna follow us.”

He pushed his hair out of his face. “Cool. And, uh, do you mind if I leave my bags here?”

What? “Bags?”

“Yeah.” Kellin gestured outside making the four of us look out there with him. A car was sitting in front of my house with a bored-looking driver behind the wheel. “I need to get my bags from my Uber. Is it cool if I leave them here?”

“Sure? But why not leave them in a hotel?”

His face suddenly went from apprehensive to angry. “Because the stupid hotel double booked my room. I went there to check in, but the other guy was there before me. When I asked them to get me another room they said no because of a convention in town. All of the fucking rooms are booked. So now I have nowhere to go. And I don’t wanna find another hotel when that one hasn’t given me my money back yet. Besides I think all of the surrounding ones are booked anyway.”

“Damn man, that sucks.”

Kellin shrugged at Tony. “Yeah, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I may text Nick and ask if I can stay with him until we head to L.A. next week.”

It might’ve been that I was feeling sympathetic with his situation, or that I just wanted to help. Mike or Tony would’ve argued that it was because I was overwhelmed by my feelings and by seeing him again after so long. Whatever the reason, I found myself saying, “You can stay with me.”

The other four men in attendance looked at me with very different expressions. Jaime looked at me like I was crazy, Tony looked mildly amused, and Mike looked concerned. Kellin though, he was relieved.

“Are you serious?” he asked me.

I can’t be serious.

“Yeah, why not? I have all this extra room and you need somewhere to stay. This way you won’t have to worry about money. And I mean, you’re already in San Diego and Nick lives in NorCal. It’ll be more trouble than it’s worth for you to get up there. So yeah, it’s fine with me if you stay here as long as it’s fine with you.”

I scratched the back of my neck once I finished my spiel. Once again, my bandmates were looking at me. I shrugged them off and focused on Kellin.

“I mean, you don’t have to. You’d probably be more comfortable staying with Nick anyway.”

“No,” he said quickly. “I’d love to stay with you. Nick has Jenna so I could be imposing and I don’t wanna do that, so thanks.”

I nodded, unsure of what else to say.

“I’ll only be here for a week before I go to L.A. I’ll try not to get in your hair.”

I waved him off with a small smile that he returned. His bright eyes shined with happiness and relief. I swear I could’ve gotten lost in them the way they sparkled in the sun. He quickly hopped off the porch to his Uber to get his bags, which gave the guys the perfect opportunity to scold me.

“Are you sure about this?” Mike asked. The same look of concern he was wearing earlier was dominating his features.

I shrugged. “Yeah? I’m just helping a friend out.”

“But is that all you’re trying to do?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means.”

I sighed. “I’ll be fine. I don’t even think about him like that anymore.” That was a fucking lie, and I could tell they all knew it, but they didn’t call me out on it.

“Vic,” my brother warned.

I waved him off. “Don’t worry, nothing like that is gonna happen. I have Danielle and he’s married. I’m more than positive that we’ll be okay. That I’ll be okay.”

Mike sighed. “I just don’t wanna see you get hurt.”

I patted his shoulder. “Thanks for your concern, but I’ll be fine.” I knew that he was skeptical, but he didn’t say anything else as Kellin walked into the house with his bags.

Maybe what I was doing was risky, and maybe my brother had reason to be worried about me getting hurt. Little did he know I’ve been hurt for a while, so what did I have to lose?

#Chase Atlantic - Call Me Back #Hayley Williams - HYD #Soulmates #Vic Fuentes #Kellin Quinn #Kellic #Kellic fanfiction #Kellic fanfic #Pierce The Veil #Pierce The Veil fanfiction #Pierce The Veil fanfic #Fanfiction #Fanfic

2 notes · View notes

dreamingdreamsnevermore-blog · 3 years

Text

Welcome to the Universe (Jammy) - The Final Chapter: “The end of the beginning”

We hope this piece gives a little deserved closure to our beloved Jammy and where they are now. Sammy has a few surprises in store, familiar faces and old friends paying a visit! Thanks for reading and all the support. x T&C

**Welcome to the Universe

Epilogue: “The end of the beginning”**

“Dear Diary, where to begin? 10 years ago I was given the unique opportunity to work with a talented band and travel the world. How can I put into words all the experiences and emotions I've gathered through the years? I've started this journey with you all on April 9th 2010 when I was 25 years old, I was engaged at the time, with a long-term vision of the life path I was supposed to follow. Until a certain rock band crossed my path and, changed my entire life for the better.

During my life on the road I love meeting up with each and every one of you. I was embraced right from the start, welcomed straight into the warm yet crazy dysfunctional family also known as The Echelon. I'm forever grateful for all you have done for me and how you entrust me with your stories, now it’s our time to give you a rare insight in ours. It’s been a while since our last interaction, and a lot has happened. Life is not what you expect, it’s made up of the most unexpected twists and turns.

April, 2011 Cussing underneath my breath I slam through the doors leading into the venue’s foyer, crowded with fans still buzzing on their concert high. Hitting speed dial again I bring my phone to my ear while making my way across the venue. Rounding the corner I smack into a fan at high speed, making us both bounce back. Picking up her bag, her piercing blue eyes meet mine, midnight black hair pulled back into a pony tail “oh god, I’m so sorry” I exclaim “It’s okay” she assures me with a smile. “Nice tattoo!” I say pointing out the Mithra tattoo on her upper left arm, peeking from underneath her slipped cardigan. “Thanks” a cramped smile forms her plum tinted lips while shrugging her cardigan back on her shoulders. Continuing my sprint I can’t help but ponder she looks familiar. “I’m sorry I’m late” I gush out of breath breaking through the doors finally reaching their dressing room. Shannon throws a bottle of water my way which I eagerly accept and take a big gulp. “Can’t believe you haven’t broken an ankle wearing those killer heels around the arena.” Tomo laughs. Tugging the hem of my shirt dress I fake a bow. “We need to get to the meet and Greet” I point out matter of factly “You’re actually late” Jared eyes me as it trails from my lips “Isn’t that going to be your fault?” Pulling up a brow I hurl the water bottle back at Shannon who’s started laughing at the remark. Throwing me a kissy face Jared passes me with a slap on the ass. “Instead of throwing a fit, we should go, we don’t want to be even more late.” “Oh you-” slapping him across the back I roll my eyes and lead them to the meet and greet lodge. Luckily the fans were still all excited to meet the guys despite the delay. Shannon instantly turned into a goof spreading himself out on the floor while Jared started telling tales. Since time was cut shorter they quickly start their picture moment. I smile noticing the little boy that caught one of Shannon’s drumsticks. “Oh seems like you’re taking home a treasure from this gig” blushing he nods his head “Can I take a picture of you holding it out in victory?” glancing up in excitement he seeks approval of his father. “Sure” the young man squeezes the kids shoulder and I quickly snap his picture as it soon is his turn to have his picture taken with the guys. Obviously Shannon notices he’s caught one of his sticks and picks the boy up planting him up on his shoulders striking a triumph pose. I laugh at the display and shake my head. Jared high fives the boy and watches as he jolts to his father beaming with joy. As his eyes cross those of his father I notice Jared tense up, looking startled. His gaze wonders to Shannon next to him, who’s busy admiring a trinity skull seal tattoo on a girl’s neck. It takes a split second and he composes himself quickly. When the meet and greet is over Jared slips from the room immediately “Jared” I walk after him but he keeps on walking “Hey” grabbing his arm he stops and looks at me “What is going on? Earlier you looked like you’d seen a ghost?” wiping his brow he sighs deeply “I’m sorry Sammy, I’ve got some unfinished business I need to attend, I won’t be long.” Sucking my lower lip between his he kisses me short but deeply. “be back soon.” And without further explanation he marches off. Deciding to skip the party for one of the crew’s birthday I head to the busses and start my draft for tonight’s entry for the tour diary. “I can’t believe you kept this from me. From us.” Jared’s voice is tense as I hear the bus door open. I hear him fling his phone across the bus and hiss a curse. “Jared?” startled he turns around, obviously not having expected someone to be on the bus. “Is everything alright?” I arch a brow as he pulls me close. A deep groan escaping his lips. Lacing my arms around his waist he captures my lips in a wet and greedy kiss. "yes, knowing we’re alone on this bus, everything seems perfect" he grins, extracting a soft giggle from my lips as his hands slip underneath my oversized shirt dress cupping and squeezes my ass. Tangling his fingers through my messy locks I chuckle resting my hands on his damp chest. Scrunching his nose his fingers start unbuttoning the shirt to cup my boobs firmly while stealing a kiss. “Let’s take advantage of this alone time" smacking my ass once more he pulls away and hurls me over his shoulder stalking me upstairs.

I nervously twirl my lanyard between my fingers making Shannon laugh while I walk off the stage. “Such a fangirl” he nudges my arm with a grin as I just announced ‘Best Female’ at the MTV Video music awards. “I think I’m gonna be sick” I mumble turning around holding my hand against my mouth as I dry heave “You’re adorable, shouldn’t have had those dumplings before the show!” he laughs handing me his water bottle for a sip. As the next performer is announced we head to the side of the stage. “I’m very curious about this act, apparently there’s a mystery guest.” Shannon comes to stand next to me crossing his arms and huffs “Eminem is legendary, he doesn’t need a guest.” he says as the light dims and the venue goes dark. A white beam illuminates a piano, sat at it a busty blonde wearing a sparkling silver and black leather bodysuit with plunging neckline, fishnet stockings and leather knee-high stilettos. * ‘On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright. Then this thing turned out so evil - I don't know why I'm still surprised’ Finishing the first verse she pauses for a minute ‘Even angels have their wicked schemes, And you take that to new extremes. But you'll always be my hero, even though you've lost your mind.” Whipping her blonde locks from her face she gets up from the piano and walks across the stage. It is then that I recognize her tattoo’s, more precisely the Mithra one on her upper arm. “hey I think she was at a gig” I mumble enthusiastic turning to Shannon who’s gone pale observing the scene in front of him. * “Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, well that's alright because I like the way it hurts” “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” Shannon curses under a breath. “Did you know about this!?” he asks with a fixed stare. “Know what?” I ask confused pulling my vibrating phone from my pocket, taking note of Jared’s name and answer it backing away to a quieter spot while the song erupts as Eminem joins her on stage. * ‘Hush baby, speak softly, tell me I'll be sorry. - That you pushed me into the coffee table last night,So I can push you off me - Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me’ “Is Shannon with you?” his voice is tense and edged “Yes, why?” as the song peaks its finale and the arena falls dark. Shannon stalks over to me and without any explanation yanks my all access badge from the back pocket of my blazer dress “What the fuck Shannon” I sneer at him grasping hold of his arm but he shrugs out of my grip. “Sammy. Don’t.” he hisses, eyes blazing like I’ve never seen them before. Ending my call to Jared without explanation I run a hand through my hair and stalk after Shannon through the catacombs of the venue. Finding him stood in front of a backstage dressing room he looks lost, hurt and most of all confused. Drawing in a deep breath I compose myself, steadying myself with the palm of my hand against the door and hold my finger out at Shannon who turns to me. After a few seconds and without granting him a word I slap him hard across the cheek, yanking my lanyard from his hand. “Shannon what the fuck.” I demand an explanation. Right in that moment the door opens and a young guy stares me right in the face, the look in his eyes reading like a deer caught in headlights as his eyes fall upon Shannon. I remember him, long blonde locks tousled into a messy man bun, two impressive full sleeves across his muscled arms. He was at the meet and greet a few weeks back. Behind him the girl that just took the stage sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands. “Kristie.” Shannon breathes, his voice broken. Her head shoots up hearing her name, teary eyes connecting with his. Pulling the blonde wig from her head she reveals her dark locks. The young guy places his palm against Shannon’s chest “Can we talk for a minute?” Shannon huffs eying him, not impressed as he pushes past him. Kristie sighs “Alec, it’s okay.” I stumble a little to the left as an energetic boy runs past me towards her. “Mommy don’t cry, you were amazing!” Jumping onto her lap the boy smothers her with kisses and wipes her tears. She smiles and runs her hand through his hair “Oh my number one fan!” Planting a kiss on his lips she motions Alec who in responds takes the little boy’s hand and moves outside to watch the live feed. “You fucking ghosted me Kristie” Shannon walks over to her looking defeated “I know- i’m sorry” she sighs deeply standing up, a painful look on her face “Sorry!? Thats all you’ve got to say?” grabbing her arm firmly he shakes her and pushes her against the wall “SHANNON.” I bark at him marching over and push him off her. I never encountered this side of him before and to be honest, it scared me a little. She sighs deeply burying her face in her hands “What did you expect Shannon?” her voice is but a whisper as she wipes her tears and sits down on the couch. “The night we had our fight, I hated you, I hated myself, I… I was ready to take my own life.” She takes a gulp from her bottle of water. Shannon sighs, uncomfortably fidgeting his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Kristie I regret every word I said that night. I...” he shakes his head. She looks up, regret touching her eyes as they meet his. “This thing we had, it was unhealthy, it was violent, abusive, sex-driven...”she falls silent and a soft laugh escapes her lips as she rolls her eyes “We fucking loved it, shit , there’s even proof of that.” My eyes grow wide as realization sinks in, the kinky tape. It’s her. “Shannon, I don’t regret us… I regret what we became..” She shakes her head softly, her eyes closed and exhales a breath “But I don’t regret the decision I made after recovering from the overdose” nervously she rubs the palms of her hands together and rethinks her words. “Our beautiful mistake, my biggest blessing” her eyes wonder up to find the little boy roaming the halls. It takes a split second for Shannon to register her confession as he goes pale. Jared bursts through the door, eyes scanning the situation in the room, a breath leaving his lips as his eyes land upon Kristie. Shannon looks broken and defeated and silence falls upon the room “You told me she lost the baby” he hisses at Jared. “I needed a stable and safe environment, not only for my sake but most importantly my child’s sake.” “Kristina why did you cut us out of your life, we could have h-” Jared asks but she interupts him “I’m not proud of my lies.” She shakes her head while Shannon paces around “I loved you Shannon. I still do…” Getting up from the couch she walks over to him, touching his shoulder “I’m sorry” A flash of anger washes over his face as he turns to face her. His composure tells me he’s doing all he can to hold himself together. “So why now then, after all those years? He’s five. You need a famous daddy to milk?” A sour smile touches her lips as she pops several pills to her lips and swallows them with a gulp. Crossing his arms Shannon cocks his head unapprovingly “I want to learn from my mistakes. I know we’ve both changed...” “And you’re forgetting to mention you’re sick.” Jared crosses his arms. “Ah yes, demons from my past have come to haunt me. I’m enjoying my little fucked up party for as long as I still can” She falls silent and shrug “I’ve got no one but myself to blame for this mess.” “Fuck Kris.” Shannon swallows hard “You should have told me sooner” She tilts her head tucking a strand of hair behind her ear “I know. Can we- can we start over? Learn from our mistakes? For our son’s sake? I know I’m asking a-lot and this is overwhelming... But he’s been asking questions about his father lately..” Shannon swallows hard as she touches his arm “Please, I’m not expecting nor demanding you to take up your responsibilities as a father. I just want him to get to know you.” cupping his cheek Kristie presses her lips soft yet passionate against his. Shannon gazes into her eyes with tears of his own and whispers an apology brushing his finger along her lower lip before pulling her in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry things when the way they did” he whispers and swallows hard as Alec walks in with the boy. Placing her finger on his lip she silences him. “Let’s look at the future now, the past is behind us. Let’s make better mistakes from now on.” He nods and she motions towards the boy. “Shannon, this is Ryder.” It is then that I match the little puzzle in my head. Alec and Ryder were at the meet and greet, Shannon had already met his son without even realizing it.

There are two sides to every story and you need to hear both to know all the facts. We may not always agree or like what we discover. Some secrets are deep and sometimes they are filled with regret. Shannon’s relationship with Kara had to endure a few storms dealing with the revelation of his son and rekindling his relationship with Kristie on and off tour. He wanted to make up for his mistakes and rebuild the lost trust and their friendship, for the sake of their son. He voluntary filed a declaration of Paternity taking up his parental responsibilities. Kristie had started working an album independently, filled with powerful, painfully honest songs about toxic relationships, battling addiction, accepting herself and her demons. One night when Shannon invited Kristie over to talk about collaborating on one of her songs their passion reignited, triggering suppressed emotions, seeking solace, coping with intense grief over past and future. Their intimacy was intense, raw and emotional. They didnt regret their actions that night, but they agreed it would be the last time, focusing on a healthy, stable and amicable partnership in raising their son. His relationship with Kara crumbled under the pressure as she already battled her way through her own insecurities dealing with Kristie and Ryder.

When dating a 'celebrity', you never choose the public opinion that comes with it, and you’re never ready for it either. ‘Real love doesn't meet you at your best. It meets you in your mess.’, that quote sadly hits close to home. Jared guided me through my mess, my own battles. ‘Pain shapes a woman into a warrior' the quote traces my spine. Jared has never been a celebrity to me, I never had heard of Thirty seconds to mars nor him, till the day I signed on for the tour diary. I never intended to fall for the celebrity lead singer/actor. Working together 24/7 we established a friendship, that eventually blossomed and we developed a greater depth of love. It stands for the terror I went through experiencing domestic abuse, sexual assault and stalking by the man I once loved. It reminds me of my fight for the truth, my fight for freedom and my fight for survival that nearly killed me and my unborn child.

May 8th, 2011 Intense lightning wakes me early in the morning, the sound of thunder growling and rain drizzling down the window breaks the silence of the night. It's 5 am. Reaching for my cellphone it buzzes in the palm of my hand "hey stranger" I smile at the screen. "good morning Samantha" Jared smiles "did I wake you?" I shake my head adjusting my pillow as I sit upright. "GOOD MORNING SAMMY!" the screen shakes and a very chipper Shannon appears on screen. "morning Shan" I chuckle adjusting my Cami top and pull the sheets a little higher. "even this early in the morning you look beautiful" he exclaims "oh you charmer" I chuckle rolling my eyes. "shan-give... Ugh.. Shan" I gaze at the screen amused as both brothers fight for the phone. "as much as I love facetiming with you both, I'm getting nauseas watching this." getting up from the bed I put on my robe and head downstairs into the kitchen. As a flash of lightening illuminates the entire room startling me, I nearly drop the phone out of my hands, much to both brothers amusement. "oh you know how I hate these kind of storms" I glare at the screen. "repeat after me Sammy 'fuck you thunder you can suck my di-'." "can she not repeat that?" Jared mutters and I laugh "thunder buddies" I wink at Shannon. Making myself a nice steaming cup of cocoa, I softly blow the hot substance in the cup before taking a sip. "is that.. hot cocoa?" Shannon throws me a very judging look. "you bet it is!" I grin "Home-made, I may add. With Belgian chocolate." Shannon grunts deeply, an unimpressed look on his face. "how. could. you" I giggle licking my lips after another sip. "mmm, so, soo good." "alright enough with the cocoa sex, Shannon can I talk to Samantha?" Jared snatches the phone from his brother. "hello again" I smile "can't wait to be home in a few hours" Jared smiles. "I hope your flight doesn't get cancelled" I sigh admiring the storm through the kitchen window. Jared shrugs "at the moment we're delayed for about an hour. I'll keep you updated." the video call lags and I sigh waiting for the video to stabilize. "So how's my girl doing?" "starting to regret that hot chocola-" a wave of nausea washes over me and I drop my phone on the counter, making a sprint for the bathroom. Dropping to my knees I heave above the toilet, pulling my hair back in a messy tail. Rinsing my mouth with mouthwash I pick my phone back up. The video lags as Jared puts his stuff in the trunk of their cab and ask me if I'm okay, wandering from the group. "Morning sickness" I smile annoyed. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and finally developing the cutest small bump. We've been able to keep it a secret, only Emma knows since I confided in her asking to buy me a test after the VMA’s, since I was too scared to get one myself. I eventually took the test a day after when we arrived in Chicago surprising Jared at the hotel with the news, having my test and a litte “hello daddy” romper placed on his pillow. I haven't joined the guys on tour for the past 3 weeks due to extreme morning sickness, they think I had the flu. Today is the big revelation, I'm picking Jared up at the airport when they return from Canada wearing a grey curve hugging dress emphasizing my small bump. He has only seen my early pregnancy bloat evolving to a bump in pictures. Today is the first time he's actually going to admire our little bump. It's not only a surprise to him, but the rest of the crew and Shannon are still unaware of the pregnancy. This afternoon my mom and Constance are coming over for lunch and we're going to surprise them with the pregnancy news! The storm passes quickly and while rain still trickles down, rays of sunshine seep through the clouds. Planning on leaving home an hour before his estimated arrival, to avoid Los Angeles' famous morning traffic jams, I'm in a hurry to find my keys. Cursing underneath my breath I sigh deeply checking the pockets of my leather jacket with no luck. "Damn pregnancy brain. Think Sammy, think." I check my purse a third time before throwing it on the table. "fuck." There's a soft knock on the door jamb behind me and I spin around in shock "oh no, did I get the time wrong, Jared I'm so-" my breath hitches in my throat as my eyes lock with his "You." I swallow hard. "Hello Samantha." my eyes catch glimpse of the silver keys dangling from his index finger, my keys. I swallow hard "how-how did you get.." "Love is a scary thing babe" tucking the keys into his pocket he strides over and I back up. "Caleb , I need you to leave." I plead. He smirks softly "Did you like all the gifts I sent you?" I stare at him in shock when the penny drops and all the flowers and fucked up gifts are from him. "I'm calling the cops." I warn him, fingers rummaging my purse but I'm unable to trace my phone. "no you won't." he states pulling my phone from his other pocket. In that moment fear and panic wash over me, paralyzing me as within a few strides he's right in front of me, his hand tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I miss you" he calmly breathes, hand tracing my curves. Suddenly he tugs at my leather jacket, a deadly glare peering into my eyes. It happens in the blink of an eye but before I can register it I've slapped him hard across the face, it takes him off guard stumbling back, phone falling from his hand. Before I have time to respond and grab my phone or my alarm button his hand violently slip around my throat while he backs me up against the wall, eyes blazing with rage. "a fucking baby?" His grip on my throat tightening. I gasp, digging my nails into his hand and arm trying to get him to ease pressure. “In our 5 years you never felt ready, and with him it takes you less than a year?” he breathes angrily in my face, angry tears in his eyes "Today is the price you pay for having such a good life" his voice is short, clipped and cold. Feeling dizziness set in I scratch my nails across his face to which he releases me. I fall to my knees and cough deeply trying to catch my breath. I want to run, to hide but he's too fast. As I want to grab my phone from the floor he grabs me violently by my hair and I scream loudly. "If I can't have you, nobody will" he spits flinging me to the other side of the room, crashing into the glass table, shattering it on impact. I feel numb, pain surging my entire body. He kneels next to me and brushes my bloodied cheek. "why do you make me do this. This is all your fault Sam." He rubs his temple frustrated. Tears escape my eyes as the person in front of me is a ghost of the man I used to date. "you once promised to keep me safe-" my voice trembles as I speak "And then you decided to fuck Jared Leto" he hisses hunched over me while grabbing my belly. Protecting my baby I backhand him in the face while kicking him in the nuts and spot my phone. "you cheated on me first, shit head" I crawl over as fast as I can, crying out in pain. Trembling and with blood stained hands I grab my phone. "put it down" he barks angrily. Pressing and holding the side button along with the Volume button I activate my SOS setting. The next few seconds pass by in a blur. I'm fighting him off, kicking and screaming until he has me pinned against the couch, my arm twisted behind me, tearing the phone from my grip. "I told you not to" he yanks my head back, gripping my hair and in that moment, I felt trapped, vulnerable and so hopelessly lost. "HELP ME" I kick and scream, hoping the emergency call was activated. "FUCK!" Caleb screams out tossing the phone away "why do you always make things so complicated babe? Why!?" he frantically rubs his face backing up. Afraid to move I slowly press myself up, ribs feeling sore. "I.. I'm sorry" I apologize, slowly crawling away from him. "please, Cabe, I'm sorry" I whisper pulling myself up with the help of a chair. His eyes lock with mine, tears staining them. "Lies!" he cries "LIES." my heart sinks and I freeze on the spot as I register the gun targeted at me. "Don't do this Cabe" I whisper in a plea. "If I can't have you, nobody can." he yells again, a tear falling from his face. "you're mine. You belong to ME." blue and red flashing lights illuminate the room, police sirens filling up the background. "it's over" I whisper "it sure is. I love you Sammy, im so sorry" his voice is soft, his intense yet soul-less stare sends chills down my spine. And then the penetrating sound of a gun being fired echoes the room, my ears ringing, the sound of glass shattering. Caleb collapses on the floor in front of me as police officers storm into the room. It is then that I feel the sharp sting in my abdomen. Looking down, blood stains my dress, trickling down my leg. Caleb had pulled the trigger, he shot me right in my stomach. Cradling my belly I sink to the floor and pass out in shock. Jared received an emergency text upon his arrival at LAX, he immediately knew something was wrong when I didn't respond to his or Shannon's calls. He arrived home, at the horrific scene when they rushed me out on the stretcher, a paramedic straddling me while performing chest compressions. My body limp, pale and covered in blood, face bruised and cut with marks around my neck where he tried strangling me.

Shreds to some of the darkest periods of my life I've unwillingly lived publicly. Paparazzi are vicious, they'll hound you around invading and violating your privacy until the very last drop of juicy information is shared. Media loves dramatizing, But sadly, a picture doesn't show the entire story and is easily manipulated into telling something different. It's an ugly world, one I decided I wanted to take control over.

Caleb was shot into the chest, 7 days post-op he presented signs of a stroke, leaving him in a vegetative state. My healing started the moment they turned off life support, his life support. I got to witness the ventilator being turned off and removal of his breathing tube. In that moment I experienced conflicting emotions, liberating relief but also sadness. It felt wrong to grieve someone that caused me so much pain, his death gave me closure, but I refused to forgive him. I'd been to hell and back and my road to recovery was long, I had to be strong and find myself again while navigating a high-risk pregnancy, yes our miracle baby survived the trauma.

At 34 weeks, unexpectedly early, a beautiful baby girl made her appearance into this world. Our little miracle was small and fragile, weighing in at 2.250kg and 43cm.

October, 2011 Shannon looks up from his computer in shock, his face going pale as I enter the studio. "Oh God, what happened," he breathes pulling the headphones from his head and strides over to where I'm standing, my pajama pants covered in blood. In a heartbeat he is in front of me, holding onto my trembling hands. Cupping my face he calms me "breathe Sammy, breathe." his voice is soft as he looks me straight in the eyes "hey, look at me. You're both going to be okay." I felt like I was going to throw up, falling from one emotion into another. Earlier Jared and I finished up a maternity shoot shot by Shannon. My first pregnancy should have been easy, but since the attack I had been terrified of complications, Caleb robbed me from enjoying the miracle of bringing life into this world. "We're going to the hospital right now" his voice edged with determination. "But your busy with Kristie’s al-” “Sammy don’t you start” Flipping his phone to his ear he ushers me up the stairs and to the garage. “I don't even have my bag." I stumble my words as he pulls the door open and sits me down. “This can't be happening" I close my eyes caressing my bump feeling some sort of tightening cramps.

Arriving at the hospital they immediately take me for an exam and place a heart rate monitor on my belly. "Hang in there little peanut" I whisper to my bump and close my eyes praying. Feeling a hand atop of mine I open my eyes exchanging a glance with Jared. Even though he looked calm, I read panic in his eyes. "I'm here." Things happened so fast from that point on. We were totally unprepared to give birth this early. The baby was in distress, the exam showing a placental abruption and they took me straight in prepping me for an emergency C-section. Lots of people swarmed the OR. It felt like I was trapped in a chaotic nightmare. "It's going to be okay" Jared’s lips brush my temple and wipes away the tear that escapes my eyes. He's sat next to me in yellow scrubs, calm through it all , my rock. I was scared and nervous, this pregnancy has been all but a dream. "I'm sorry" I whisper apologetic "what for?" "not being able to keep this baby safe" he caresses my cheek and shakes his head "I'm so proud of you. You're such a strong woman, you’re such a great mother". Light cries fill the room and I sob in relief hearing our baby crying for the first time. "It's a girl!" after a few long minutes we finally get to meet her briefly, before she's taken up to NICU, as she is placed on my upper chest, swaddled in a blanket. My entire heart fills with love as I admire our little girl. Jared gazes lovingly at us "welcome to the world, Willa"

Becoming parents was extraordinary. Watching Jared settle into his new role as a daddy, his priorities changed so much more than I expected. The first weeks were challenging as we divided our time between visiting our premature girl at the hospital and our new home in Malibu. Jared's Studio City home held too many unwanted memories, too much negative energy, so we relocated to a gated family orientated community in Malibu, leaving the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles behind us. The moment we got to bring our baby girl home, our wonderful journey started and brought Jared and I even closer together. We introduced her to her extended family at the Vyrt streaming of the 300th show touring ‘This is War’. We settled into a 'normal' life the upcoming years as the band took a break from touring. Shannon took time to focus on his son and even made several guest appearances on Kristie’s ‘Dancing with the Devil’ tour.

The celebrity lifestyle, partying and fame, we traded for a modest family life, trying to get as close to ‘normal’ as possible. I put my on-screen work with MTV on hold indefinitely and decided to work more behind the scenes. Time out from the spotlight was liberating, focusing just on our little family. Jared dedicated time to his other career, acting, he filmed a new movie, introducing me to my new girlfriend Rayon. It was quite a shock at first, to be honest I didn’t even recognize him when he had walked into the house wearing a floral dress, blonde wig, false lashes and fuchsia lipstick. It took me a while to get used to the fact she also borrowed some of my dresses and panty hoses. As much as I came to like her, I was glad her appearance was limited.

After the 2 year gap since we last took the road, juggling between life on the road, family and promotions for his movie, our fairly stable life got turned upside down. Kristie’s condition took a turn for the worse and Shannon spend more time with Alec and Kristie in Hospice care, promising he’d never abandon his son. Ryder became the most important person in his life. A few months later I took on another edition of the tour diary as the band lined up a new tour for their brand new album.

January, 2014 A small golden globes pré party was held at our house. Jared had transformed our patio in a private backyard cinema with an outdoor projector. My mother, Constance , Shannon and Kara, Emma and the kids would be watching the show from home. Tucking some strands of my hair back in my dramatic, voluminous pony I glance in the mirror and smile approvingly, touching up my bold burgundy lips. And winged eyeliner. "woaaaaaaah" an enthusiastic Willa sprints down the corridor, coming to an abrupt stop at the sight of me, her eyes big with wonder and mouth open wide. I giggle twirling around making my dress fly up "does mommy look pretty?" her eyes squint shut as she breaks out in a big smile. I laugh squatting down in front of her and tap her protruding belly "shall I take that as a yes?" nodding her head fervently she leans in for a hug "mommy you're so pretty!" kissing the top of her head I stand up straight "let's go find your daddy!" turning around her giggles bounce off the walls as her little feet run down the hall towards the patio. "here's my little princes!" Jared picks up his daughter and twirls her around extracting even more giggles as he tickles her belly. "Am I dressed okay for the occasion?" His gaze lingers on me as I step outside, an elegant long white fit and flare dress hugged my curves, with an off the shoulder neckline and billowing sleeves in organza material. Mesmerized Jared takes me in "A classical beauty" he muses and leans in for a kiss "you're handsome yourself too" I whisper capturing his lips much to Willa’s dismay who pushes me back "yuk" both me and Jared burst out laughing. "oh Samantha" my mother gushes, tears staining her eyes "you look absolutely stunning" I twirl around again and huff in doubt "really? Isn't this too much?" biting my lip I meet Jared's, his brow pulled up in ponder "Samantha you look amazing" he speaks assuring "picture time!" Constance exclaims making me laugh as both mothers are pulling out their mobile phone. "thank god we've got the good camera here too" Jared mutters under a breath motioning at Myke, who's following Jared around the entire day before and after the Golden Globes for 'A day in the life of'. After our short photoshoot it's time for us to head out to the red carpet, but before all the celebrity glamour we experienced some family drama as Willa did not want mommy and daddy to leave throwing a dramatical tantrum. Jared, being the slick negotiator he is, managed to keep a second round of tears and screams at bay. A soft sigh escapes my lips and Jared squeezes my knee softly. "ah the terrible two's, I'm sure she's all forgotten about it already" his blue eyes look at me in a comforting way "she was already playing hide and seek with Shannon and Ryder when you made your way towards the car. " placing my hand atop his I nod softly. Nearing the venue I feel butterflies flutter my stomach. I felt nervous, it had been a while since I graced a red carpet alongside him. "ready for the madness?" Jared's lips grace my temple "thanks for joining me tonight." I turn to meet his loving gaze and nudge him softy "always, I'm so proud of you. You're already my winner" I wink and he laughs deeply "that's all I'll ever need, what am I even doing here?" opening the door for me he extents his hand and I take it. I had forgotten about the buzz on the red carpet and to be honest I had missed the glamour, it felt good to be back. Jared and I posed infront of the photographers but the atmosphere was different around us, he was much more relaxed and affectionate than he had ever been. I caught him fixing the train of my dress so it looked good on pictures, he lovingly embraced me and stole kisses, I even noticed he had stopped posing for pictures and was admiring me from afar, snapping a personal picture with his iPhone. The night passed by quickly and soon enough the announcements were made for the category he was nominated in. Placing my left hand atop his I lace our fingers and squeeze it softly. All air leaves my lungs as his name gets called. Standing up I cup his face and kiss him lovingly "I'm so proud of you".

You don’t always need a plan, sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens… And that’s exactly what happened on our special day in 2015. After a very busy and rewarding award and touring season, Jared whisked me away for a romantic getaway at Glen Oaks Big Sur, staying in a secluded cabin tucked away in a redwood grove near a river.

Outstretching my arms above my head I tangle my fingers into Jared’s hair as he leans down for a kiss. “Are you enjoying your bath?” “Very much so, so relaxing after that long hike” I nod approvingly slipping lower into the claw foot bath tub on our secluded porch. “Emma send me a mail regarding some hotel issues for Europe-" “Ugh say no more, be gone” I sigh splashing some water his way making him laugh “I’ll be back in time for dinner” “Oh you better” I mutter closing my eyes relaxing and enjoying the silence. After my bath I head back inside our cabin and find a box and a card on the bed. Closing my robe I sit down and pick up the envelope, Jared’s handwriting addressing me. ‘I love you, will you marry me?’ holding up the card between my fingers I eye it confused. A proposal? But he proposed to me 4 years ago in Paris? “Tonight?” his soft deep voice breaks the silence in the cabin and it startles me slightly. “Jared what- what is this?” he’s stood leaning, admiring me, from afar, his tender blue eyes locking with mine. Pulling his hands from his pockets he pushes off from the wall and walks over to me, kneeling down on one knee. “Jared what are you doing” I roll my eyes mockingly as he shushes me with a finger against the lips. “The past years have been very eventful.. our baby girl, movies, gigs, all the awards... I- I don’t want to waste any more time trying to find an ideal moment away from the madness.” He shakes his head and tilts my chin, thumb grazing my cheek lovingly “The biggest win in my life is having captured your heart, you are my most valued prize. No award can ever compare. Marry me, here, tonight.” I swallow hard trying to find my breath again “I- Yes” A loving smile curls his lips while he leans in and kisses me passionately. “But I… I don’t have a dress, shoes,.. what about-”with a quick peck on the lips he silences me again “Open the box” fumbling with the box my fingers tear of the lid finding the perfect pair of strass crystal embellished Christian Louboutin pumps ‘It was and always will be you’ engraved on the red sole along with today’s date. I sigh his name admiring the pumps a hint of doubt to detect in my voice. “I know you’ve always dreamt of a big ceremony with the entire family and I promise you, we’ll still do one. I promise.” Taking my hand he leads me to the bathroom, there on a hanger is the most stunning dress I have ever laid eyes on. Sparkly and sexy, consisting of white sequin embellished tulle with full skirt, plunging V-neck and low-cut back with fitted sequin tulle sleeves. Grazing my fingers along the tulle I stare at him in shock. Jared grins “Willa picked it out, I guess it must have been the sparkles. But I did agree on it being a marvelous dress” “You took her to a bridal Boutique?” I smack my lips and chuckle at the thought. “Yes, she has an eye for design of fashion, guess she has that from his mother” Jared winks making me break out in a laugh. “Yes, I do hope she doesn’t inherent your sense in style.” Mimicking a hurt expression Jared embraces me close to him and brushes a strand of hair from my face. “So, shall we get married?” he beams “Let’s do this.” My heart skips a beat as I take in my reflection in the mirror. The all over sparkling sheer fabric looks luxurious yet elegant against my tan bodysuit, Jared customized pumps matching perfectly with the gown. My hair is kept loose in subtle curls along with subtle makeup. Exiting the cabin and walking down the steps I call out his name. Jared turning as I do so and as his eyes land on me while tucking his phone into his pocket, he pauses, struck in awe. Soaking me all in, he’s overcome by raw emotion fighting back his tears as they fill up his eyes. Jared looked sharp in his all black tuxedo, hair tuck in a sleek man bun. Exhaling a deep breath he regains his composure “wow” is all he can bring out. Taking my hand in his slightly shaking one, he pushes me backwards a little looking me up and down and then twirls me around. Capturing his cheek with the palm of my hand I rest my forehead against his. He was nervous, and for him, that was rare. “I keep falling in love with you, over and over, each day.” His voice is pure, a soft tremble “when everything is falling apart, you’ll fuel me to keep going on, the best part of me is you. You became the mother of my children and now you’re about to become my wife. I will always stand by your side with unconditional love” I could tell his nerves eased away as I captured his lips with mine in a sweet caress, his tongue sweeps between my lips indulging into a long emotional heartfelt kiss. His hands resting at the small of my back inching me closer to him. Breathless I break from his hold, wiping some smudged lipstick from his lips. It is then that I notice a young brunette and tall guy capturing every moment of our first look with professional camera’s. Clearing my throat I run a hand through my hair “You’re in luck this didn’t turn into an R-rated version” Bursting into a chuckle they introduce themselves as our photographer and videographer for the evening. “I want to capture every single magical moment celebrating our love.” Jared says lacing his fingers with mine. Since then sun was nearly setting Tricia and Rob advice to go for pictures first at the cliffs of big sur. Standing in Jared’s embrace along the rocky coastline, the setting sun reflecting off the beads of my dress and a romantic fog rolling in over the ocean, it feels surreal, as if I’m moving in a dream. I could not feel more beautiful and more happy as in this moment.

With the last of the fading sun through the foggy redwood forest we arrive at the hotel and I shiver when the cool evening breeze hits my skin. Reaching out Jared drapes a fluffy fake fur wrap shawl around me. I halting letting my fingers roam the fur collar “This… this is my mother’s?” there is a hint of mischief and mystery to the grin forming his lips as he leads me down the path of the enchanted looking forest. We reach an outdoor deck with heathers, decorated with a hundred twinkling fairy lights, blush and white baby’s breath and pampas grass and a long formally set table. "Surprise!" startled I turn around to meet my mother, Constance, Shannon & Ryder, Tomo & Vicki, Tim, Gisella & Andrea, Dean, Mason, Kara, Myke & Kellen and Emma holding Willa standing at the end of the deck. I glance at Jared, whom lovingly brushes an escaped tear from my cheek. "I've had this all planned out, you wouldn't honestly think I'd have us married without the most important people near?" Shannon stalks over and spins me around making the sequin tulle skirt fly up "Sammy you are looking mighty fine". "Hello there, sexy momma" Tim laughs and I slap his chest. "Oh Timmeh, I missed you!" pulling me close he kisses my temple “Gis!” I shriek flinging my arms around her “I can’t believe you’re here! YOU KEPT THIS A SECRET FROM ME!?” laughing through her tears she glances at Jared “He’s the mastermind behind all of this!” caressing her belly I glance at Andrea “You’re going to have your hands full when this little one arrives” he grins and kisses Gisella’s temple “I’m coming back home” she pipes. “You’re moving back to Los Angeles?” I stare at her in shock, a second stream of tears filling up my eyes. “Yes!” she exclaims. Drying my tears I crouch down as Willa stalks over to me wearing a bright pink dress, princess crown in her curly locks. “you look so pretty” pulling her into a hug I kiss her and run my hands through her curls “Thank you for picking my dress, I love it” she smiles widely “mommy you’re a real princess!” Jared's hand lands in the small of my back as he crouches down next to me and kisses my temple and taps Willa’s nose “This Prince wants to marry his Princess.” He smiles with a wink and turns to me “Lets get hitched?" he asks me "Finally” I giggle capturing his lips and brush a tear from my mom's cheek while passing her.

It's been one hell of a journey the past decade. I've been hurt in monumental ways and made major life decisions. At 35 I don't regret any decision I've made in the past, I wouldn't trade this life for the world. I'm right where I want to be, where I need to be. I've transformed from a broken, timid girl into a strong, confident woman. Happy and in Love. Until we meet again! Love and miss you all so much!!!

Xoxo Samantha”

---

I glance up from my laptop, a beautiful rich shade of magenta painting the sky, reflecting off the ocean as the sun sets. Running a hand through my soft curly blonde hair, I place my glasses in my hair and close my eyes breathing in the fresh air. Two arms slip around me pulling me into an embrace from behind, his lips warm against my temple. "Happy Marsiversary baby" he muses and I smile turning on my chair. "So you remember" I smile bringing my arms up to cup his face as he sits down next to me and leans in "oh Sammy" his brows arch up "would I ever forget the day this angel walked into my life 10 years ago? Never." his voice is soft and a soft smile tugs his lips. "forever grateful" he muses pressing his lips gentle against mine. I smile and caress his cheek “The kids in bed?” He nods "Still working are we?" Jared asks glancing at the laptop behind me. Chuckling I pat his knee "Some things never change." "What's the latest?" he asks nudging my shoulder and I smile "actually...-" I pause and take my laptop on my lap turning it to him "-I took a trip down memory lane... The latest blog post is... the final excerpt for the Tour Diary." Jared's brows arch up as his eyes scan the drafted blog post in front of him "it's...my…our, honest closure on the chapter" leaning back in my seat I take a sip of my glass of water and run a hand along his shoulder. "If that's okay with you" I reach out, brushing an escaped strand of hair that slipped from his messy man-bun behind his ear. His eyes lock with mine, a soft smile touching his lips. "Fans rarely get a glimpse in our private life, even after acknowledging our relationship all those years ago. We have always been very selective in the family moments we share online and during interviews...” he smiles, hands landing on my growing baby bump. In a few months our family would be complete, after a struggle to get pregnant again, suffering several miscarriages and going through a lengthy adoption process a few years back, we’d be a happy family of five soon. Chuckling slightly feeling a soft kick I place my hand atop his. Jared smiles “I’m ready to share part of it all.” placing the laptop next to him he ushers close to my belly planting a soft kiss “I can’t wait to meet you little Alexander.”

-The End-

(*) Lyrics taken from : Skylar Gray ft Eminem : Love the way you lie pt2 Visual credits to resp. owners

#Welcome to the universe #jammy #Jammy is back #mars fanfiction #dreamingdreamsnevermore #the end #fanfiction #SamanthaMorgan

2 notes · View notes

dustedmagazine · 4 years

Text

Michael Rosenstein 2020: Seeking Sojourn

What was I doing in 2010? What was I listening to? Honestly, without doing some digging, nothing springs immediately to mind. I’m guessing that ten years from now, thinking back on 2020, that won’t be the case. In mid-March, my wife and I took off on our annual winter/early spring sojourn to Provincetown, Cape Cod. When we headed out, the state of the world was tenuous. But over the course of four days, we split our time between idyllic, cold walks on the Outer Cape beaches and tracking the pandemic slide into lockdown and mayhem. We came back home to an entirely different world which has continued to spiral and swirl. This was a year where I spent far more time walking in a woods near my house, searching out a pair of barred owls and their four fledglings than I did listening to music. Focus for listening has waxed and waned and online video streams just haven’t resonated with me. But still, music has brought me some sense of solace over the course of the last year.

AMPLIFY 2020: quarantine

Without a doubt, most of my listening over the year was spent following the AMPLIFY 2020: quarantine festival. Organized by Jon Abbey, who runs the Erstwhile record label along with musicians Vanessa Rossetto and Matthew Revert, the online festival kicked off on March 20 and ran through September 20, presenting 240 newly-recorded pieces and 80 hours of music by musicians from across the globe. Most were solo contributions, with seven “blind overdubs” where two musicians with established working relationships chose track lengths in advance and submitted their recordings which were superimposed with some light mixing by Taku Unami. While the pieces are all available as free downloads on Bandcamp, that only reveals part of the story. Over the course of six months, the Facebook group grew to 3000 members, acting as a virtual gathering place for online conversations and musings with countless posts a day. Additionally, Abbey tirelessly posted an ongoing playlist which he dubbed “atmosphere” with cuts that ran the gamut from Albert Ayler to Funkadelic to Keith Hudson to Al Green with an extra-heavy helping of DJ Screw. Just tuning in to those choices and jumping on conversations was enough to save some days.

While anyone following the Erstwhile label caught some memorable submissions by expected participants, the organizers and some guest curators had more in mind than that and sub-threads developed early on. Yan Jun recruited fantastic submissions from little-known musicians from China while also contributing two pieces of his own. In addition to delivering three strong pieces, Revert brought in an Australian contingent. Rossetto delivered a festival highlight with her piece “perhaps at some time you have acted in a play, even if it was when you were a child” while also inviting a wide network of sound explorers constructing intimate sonic investigations. Abbey himself cast a wide net, probing for both established and little known musicians who had caught his attention over the years. (I’ve known Jon for a long time and was honored to be amongst those invited, contributing a piece assembled from field recordings from my Cape Cod trip.)

A number of musicians who hadn’t put out solo recordings in years, some who hadn’t had any recent releases at all, were lured back, with highlights by Greg Kelley, David Kirby, Joe Panzner, Annette Krebs and Sean Meehan. There was also a somber thread of homages to musicians who died over the last year, starting with a dedication of the entire festival to Australian percussionist Sean Baxter as well as a stirring tribute to bassist Simon H. Fell by Rhodri Davies, a dedication to Keith Tippett by Mark Wastell, and pieces commemorating Cor Fuhler by Dale Gorfinkel, Marcus Schmickler, Jim Denley, Nick Ashwood (recorded with Fuhler shortly before his death), Clare Cooper and Reinier van Houdt (whose six monthly missives delivered throughout the duration of the festival are all well worth spending time with.)

I find myself still catching up on the overwhelming array of contributions but here are a small sampling that caught my ear, though if I were to assemble this list a week from now, the choices would certainly be different.

Zhao Cong – “Homework”

homework by Zhao Cong

Yan Jun’s choice of musicians from China was uniformly superb and all are worth checking out. But Beijing-based Zhao Cong’s entry, in particular, has continued to hang with me. Her piece, constructed from two bass guitars and objects with its scrabbled detail of electronic hum, grit and glitch shot through with ringing bass strings popped out on first listen and continues to deliver.

Rie Nakajima – “carpet”

carpet by Rie Nakajima

Nakajima’s approach to sound-making, utilizing motors, mechanical devices and found objects proved the perfect tonic for pandemic listening. Her piece for AMPLIFY was recorded in her home in London “with all familiar objects I have been using at home.” The percussive piece is shot through with timbral depth, clattering along with a barely-contained momentum. Her release Karu Karu for Café Oto’s digital Takuroku lockdown series is also well worth checking out. And while I tended not to connect with online video over the course of the year, I found myself returning to Nakajima’s seven days bird songs which unfolded over the course of a week, multiple times.

Ivan Palacký – “Sanctuary”

Sanctuary by Ivan Palacký

Czech-based Ivan Palacký’s “Sanctuary” hit early on in the fest and remained a favorite. Palacký spent the first day of quarantine exploring his flat with an electromagnetic sensor, capturing the buzzes and tremors of everyday electronic devices. A few weeks later, he pulled out three knitting machines which he contact mic’d and used to improvise with the electromagnetic recordings. Palacký deftly interleaved percussive patter with wafts of static, grit and crackles, creaks and sputters and resonant thrums into an immersive piece.

Martin Kay – “Bath Time (2nd Edit)

Bath Time (2nd Edit) by Martin Kay

Through the festival, a thread developed of the pieces constructed as sonic response to the physical surroundings of isolation. Moniek Darge's gutting “Quarantine Child,” assembled from interior recordings and the desperate wail of a child, Mark Vernon's “The Dominion of Din,” woven together from field recordings from outside his Glasgow flat, cataloging exterior sounds that have annoyed him over the years and Kate Carr’s haunting “on every stair another stairway is set in negative” recorded using an old reel to reel tape and instrument recordings captured in her bathroom are three. Martin Kay’s four-part “Bath Time” delves in to that personal, interior realm, composed from recordings made in and around his bathroom during the routine that developed with his daughter’s nightly bath. The use of shifting focus, natural resonances of the room, the tub and underwater recordings transform the private, domestic activity into an increasingly abstracted aural study.

Distant Duos

The Distant Duos project that Mary Staubitz and Russ Waterhouse embarked on was also instigated by a sense of lost community. But here, the strategies employed were markedly different. The two are immersed in the DIY noise/improv New England community, spearheading shows in basements, bars, galleries and ad hoc venues and collaborating with musicians from New Haven to Portland, Maine, with all stops in between. They’ve also been instrumental in developing a network of like-minded musicians and bringing travelers through, some who have become frequent visitors. Unlike the duos in AMPLIFY, Staubitz and Waterhouse curated the 78 sessions, inviting pairs of musicians with a simple strategy. “Two remote artists record five minutes of sound while thinking about the other artist, unable to hear each other. The two tracks are combined into one.”

Released in sets of five on Bandcamp, the first on April 30 and the last on December 9, these bursts served as vital postcards. For those of us based in New England, these were both bittersweet reminders of the pre-COVID world we frequented and exultant celebrations. As someone who organized shows with the two and often played on the same bills, these really connected. (I was asked to participate, paired with Worcester-based Abdul Sherzai.) Some of the duos were longstanding partnerships (Greg Kelley and Vic Rawlings have been working together for over a decade). Some were pairings of musicians who knew each other but had likely never played together. Some participants were drawn from the deep field of regional musicians while others were recruited from across the US and Europe. With only five minutes at play, these served as sketches, vignettes or rough drafts. But keen curation and Waterhouse’s astute mixing and mastering made these hold together. Like AMPLIFY, these periodic missives kept me going through the last year.

Flip through any of the contributions and you’ll find plenty to encourage further listening. This batch, culled from the October 28th releases, provides a glimpse into the broad crew of musicians pulled in and the diverse strategies they came up with.

Adam Kohl and Mickey O’Hara

Adam Kohl and Mickey O'Hara by Distant Duos

Western Massachusetts-based Kohl (better known musically as Arkm Foam) and Worcester-based O’Hara have been performing together for a while now, and experiencing their mix of low-fi cassette manipulation and laptop generated deconstructed clatter and glitch inhabit a performance space is enthralling. This brief snapshot serves as a succinct snapshot of one of their sets.

J.P.A. Falzone and Hali Palombo

J.P.A. Falzone and Hali Palombo by Distant Duos

This mashup between J.P.A. Falzone (part of the ensemble Ordinary Affects) and composer and visual artist Hali Palombo comes across as quavering pulsations dialed in from some ethereal transmission. Listening feels like one is tuning in to an hours-long broadcast of hovering tones and fluttering waves which fuse together into shuddering oscillations.

Henry Birdsey and Mary Staubitz

Henry Birdsey and Mary Staubitz by Distant Duos

Birdsey has been developing his micro-tonal musings as part of the duo Tongue Depressor as well as his solo releases under his own name and as S.T.L.A. while Staubitz jumps from the solo sonic onslaughts of Donna Parker to a wide-ranging array of ongoing and one-off collaborations. Here field recordings of rippling water and electric pops and crackles mix with shuddering overtones of bowed metal for an engulfing sonic snapshot.

Lexie Mountain and Angela Sawyer

Lexie Mountain and Angela Sawyer by Distant Duos

Baltimore’s Lexie Mountain and Boston’s Angela Sawyer have known each other for years, so it’s no surprise that their distant connection of broken electronics and found objects clicks so well. Here, everyday detritus is elevated to a compact improvisation imbued with skittering percussive tumult, whirrs and clatter.

New Releases

When I did carve out time to listen, here’s a few that stuck with me through the year.

Toshiya Tsunoda & Taku Unami – Wovenland 2 (Erstwhile)

Wovenland 2 by Toshiya Tsunoda/Taku Unami

Working from basic field recordings, Tsunoda and Unami use the studio as an alchemical laboratory, delving into mixing and mastering tools to explore, process and transform environmental sound. In their hands, the digital artifacts of that process are as intrinsic to the results as the source material they have deconstructed. They sum it up succinctly. “Our goal is to focus on acoustic experiments. No more and no less.”

Here are some more that stuck with me in no particular order:

Rhodri Davies – Telyn Rawn (Amgen Records)

Judith Wegmann – Le Souffle Du Temps II - Reflexion (ezz-thetics)

Clara de Asís & Mara Winter – Repetition of the same dream (Another Timbre)

Takuji Naka/Tim Olive – Minouragatake (Notice Recordings)

Magnus Granberg – Come Down to Earth Where Sorrow Dwelleth –Revised version for sho, koto, prepared piano and electronics (Ftarri)

Tasting Menu – Mueller Tunnel (Full Spectrum Records)

Simon H. Fell & Mark Wastell – Virtual Company (Confront)

Xavier Charles & Bertrand Gauguet – Spectre (akousis)

Pierre-Antoine Badaroux, Seymour Wright, Jean-Luc Guionnet – Solos (Remote Resonator)

Archival Releases and Reissues

Reissues continued to pour out from record labels. Some applied studio wizardry to revive and restore previously issued material and others dug out material from the vaults that rightfully deserves to be heard. But with touring opportunities gone, the ability to collaborate in person evaporated and the monthly boon of Bandcamp Fridays, many artists also took the opportunity to dig in to their personal vaults.

Gentle Fire – Explorations (1970-1973) (Paradigm Discs)

Explorations (1970 - 1973) by Gentle Fire

This one just hit in December but quickly shot to the top of my listening pile. Working in London in the early 70s, this little-known quintet of electro-acoustic pioneers worked at the edges of composition and improvisation, putting out a single, now impossible-to-find, LP performing graphic scores of by John Cage, Earle Brown and Christian Wolff (which, in itself deserves a reissue.) If they hit listeners’ radar at all, it was due to the fact that Hugh Davies was part of the group. This 3-CD box of previously unissued material is comprised of one disc of works by Wolff, Stockhausen, Brown, Cage and Ichiyanagi, another of their own compositions and a final disc capturing an extended improvisation. Five decades later, this stuff is still essential listening.

Rhodri Davies – Archif Series (self-released)

Archif #13: BMIC 17/09/1997 by IST

Currently at number 28 and counting, Davies dug in to his archives and unearthed a passel of gems, documenting live performances and studio experiments from 1995 through 2000. From solos to various group sessions, this is all music well worth spending time with. Particularly welcome are two releases by IST (Davies, Mark Wastell, and Simon H. Fell) and one by Assumed Possibilities (Davies, Wastell, Chris Burn and Phil Durrant). One hopes there is more to be unearthed.

Cor Fuhler Conundrom label

SLEE by Cor Fuhler

The sudden passing of Cor Fuhler was a tough one in a tough year. Whether as a pianist, instrument inventor or ensemble leader, Fuhler was always bristling with ideas. As part of a group effort, the discography of his Conundrom label is now available on Bandcamp with proceeds going to his estate.

Here are some others of note in no particular order:

Albert Ayler reissue series (ezz-thetics)

Phillip Wachsmann – Writing In Water (Corbett vs. Dempsey)

Charles Mingus – @ Bremen 1964 & 1975 (Sunnyside)

Voice Crack – Glasgow 20/11/1999 (scatter)

John Butcher – On Being Observed (Weight of Wax)

Derek Bailey and Mototeru Takagi – Live at FarOut, Atsugi 1987 (NoBusiness Records)

Cecil Taylor and Tony Oxley – Birdland, Neuburg 2011 (Fundacja Słuchaj)

5 notes · View notes

sebkijk · 4 years

Text

Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) - Movie Review | SebKijk

This movie review was originally published on: https://sebkijk.nl.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is finally here. I can joyfully say that this movie has been well worth the wait. This movie is truly amazing. Not only is this my favorite DC Comics movie since The Dark Knight, but it is also one of my favorite superhero movies of all time. I’m just going to say it. Zack Snyder’s Justice League is also one of my favorite movies of all time. It is currently my number one movie of 2021. I have to limit my enthusiasm so I don’t just type in capital letters full of joy, but nonetheless, I’m going to fervently tell you why this movie is simply epic. My thanks to Warner Home Video and Day One MPM for their cooperation and screener copy of the film.

Synopsis Zack Snyder’s Justice League

In Zack Snyder’s Justice League, we see how Bruce Wayne is determined to make sure that Superman’s ultimate self-sacrifice was not futile. That’s why he teams up with Diana Prince. Together they try to form a team of meta-humans that can protect the world from an upcoming threat of catastrophic proportions. The task proves tougher than imagined for Bruce, as each member must deal with their own demons before they can form an unparalleled team of heroes together. United, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and The Flash may not be up to the task of saving the planet from the cruel plans of Steppenwolf, DeSaad and Darkseid.

Snyder’s Vision

I want to take a moment to talk about the making of Zack Snyder’s Justice League. This film is the director’s cut of the 2017 American superhero film Justice League. It’s directed by Zack Snyder – duh! The film reflects the original and true vision of director Zack Snyder. Zack Snyder outlined his visionary foundation for the DC Extended Universe with his films Man of Steel (2013) and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice(2016). Snyder’s original plan was to create a five-film arc. The films Man of Steel and BvS were to be succeeded by a Justice League trilogy. Snyder’s original vision was to show the dark and epic mythological side of superheroes.

This did not please everyone – including myself. I am not exactly a fan of Man of Steel, but I could appreciate BvS. However, I have only seen the theatrical version of this movie and not the Ultimate Cut. This ultimate version is also, according to many, the better version. After seeing Zack Snyder’s Justice League, I have also been itching to see this Ultimate Cut. Batman v Superman was mainly poorly received due to its dark tone, slow pace and lack of humor. Distributor Warner Bros. reconsidered changing the tone of the upcoming DCEU films, including the Justice League film which at the time was a month away from shooting.

Reshoots & other Difficulties

The shooting of Justice League began in April 2016 and concluded in December of that year. Months later, multiple versions of Snyder’s Justice League were shown to Warner Bros. executives. These executives considered these versions to be unwatchable. For this reason, Warner Bros. hired director Joss Whedon. Whedon had worked on superhero movies before. For example, he is the director of the Marvel Studios films The Avengers (2012) and Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015). He was hired to rewrite the script and help with extensive reshoots. CEO Kevin Tsujihara determined that Justice league should not exceed two hours in length, and Warner Bros. also decided not to push the release date. This made it more difficult for the filmmakers to finish the film properly. Zack Snyder was expected to film the scenes that Whedon rewrote.

They worked together until Zack Snyder’s daughter Autumn killed herself in 2017. Zack Snyder continued working on Justice League for two more months to distract himself, but finally stepped down in May. His wife – and producer of the film – Deborah Snyderalso left the project. Whedon took full control of the production, although Snyder retained directorial control. It is estimated that Whedon’s version used about 10% of the footage Snyder shot. Composer Tom Holkenborg was also replaced by Danny Elfmanmidway through post-production. The scenes Whedon wrote or reshot for the theatrical release had a different tone and more humor. In addition, the level of violence was reduced in Snyder’s darker direction.

#ReleasetheSnyderCut

More than 90 minutes of Snyder’s footage was removed, but the result still remained the basis of the story. Although the initial cut was poorly received by test audiences, the early screening of Whedon’s cut scored as high as the first Wonder Woman film. For this reason, Warner Bros. decided to go ahead with it. Justice League was released in theaters in November 2017. Many critics and fans were disappointed. The film was described as one in which the work of two different directors – with competing visions – totally failed to come together. Warner Bros. lost about $60 million with this film, according to Deadline Hollywood. Fans rebelled against this version of the Justice League film and created an online petition to see Zack Snyder’s vision of the film.

The movement to see the Snyder Cut continued to grow tremendously on social media under the hashtag #ReleaseTheSnyderCut. On May 20, 2020, Zack Snyder announced that his version of Justice League would be released on HBO Max in 2021. Fans around the world reacted to this news with enormous happiness. Additional scenes were shot in October 2020 that featured cast members such as Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill and Ray Fisher. In January 2021, it was announced that Snyder’s version of the film was completely finished. So this film has a long history, but how glad I am that this film still came out.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is DC’s Crowing Achievement

Zack Snyder’s Justice League feels like an epic comic book movie adaptation that evokes profound emotions. The film may be longer than 4 hours, but the strong quality makes it feel even too short. Snyder put his full vision and passion into his version of Justice League. The film is full of scenes that you’ll have not seen before. These are not only incredible action or mythological scenes, but also storylines where more empathy is generated for the characters. All the main and supporting characters are more strongly underpinned with backstories and motives in this film. Even a weak villain like Steppenwolf is much better fleshed out in Zack Snyder’s version of Justice League. As a viewer, I almost couldn’t believe it, but Steppenwolf genuinely came across as a danger to the heroes. In the 2017 Justice League film he looks and acts like a joke.

The villain’s design may be slightly over-the-top, but in terms of visual effects and CGI, it is certainly as good as the Marvel villain Thanos. Zack Snyder’s Justice League feels like DC’s epic. This is their answer to franchises like the Marvel Cinematic Universeand The Lord of the Rings. Zack Snyder’s Justice League is grandiose, spectacular and exceptionally deep. For example, the character elaborations are so good that as a viewer you start to care about fairly weird DC characters like Cyborg and Aquaman. Your empathy is not only created by the strongly written story and great acting. The camera work and editing also provide many symbolic shots that develop the characters.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is the Better Version

Take for example shots where Cyborg is looking out of a broken window. This symbolizes the fact that this is a broken character with a damaged view of the world. Each superhero gets a chance to steal the show, in that each character is much more fun and better than the characters in Whedon’s version. The Snyder Cut is simply a dream come true. Not only for Snyder, but also for the fans. For those who weren’t already aware; in my opinion, Zack Snyder’s version of Justice League is way better than the 2017 version. The film may be very long (and, according to some, slow), but this does not take away from the fact that the added material has a purpose. It doesn’t just consist of extra fan-service scenes.

These new additions serve a purpose and do not feel like a weakening of the material. On the contrary – it strengthens the entire film and its supporting characters. In Joss Whedon’s version, the superheroes only come together because it’s a superhero movie. In Zack Snyder’s version, the choices and motives are so much better substantiated. As a viewer, you believe that these characters must come together to stop the enemies. This is due to the sincerity of the new scenes. You get to see how these characters must learn to appreciate and understand each other. You get to see how they must learn to function as one team. According to some critics, the story still does not feel earned. The reasoning behind these criticisms rests mainly on the idea that all the characters should have been worked out in solo films first.

Unnecessary Criticism and Minor Flaws

While I can appreciate the idea of previous solo films, I personally think this is bad criticism. It is not based on what the end product is, but on what the end product should have been according to the reviewer. In my opinion, this is not how (film) criticism should work, even though I sometimes understand the urge to review like this. Of course, every reviewer is free to write however they want. The problem is that these critics allow their written opinion to be presented as the truth, when in fact it is their personal opinion. Still, I must say that I (also) have some minor problems with Zack Snyder’s Justice League. For example, there is an overuse of slow-motion scenes in the first and last hour of the film. This can get quite irritating at certain points, but that’s a personal taste issue.

In addition, the CGI and special effects don’t look quite finished at some points. For me, these are the only two minor points that I would like to criticize. Other than that, I for one thoroughly enjoyed Zack Snyder’s Justice League. Also, the work of composer JunkieXL is simply brilliant. It brings together musical themes from different films and characters perfectly. The acting by the entire cast is top notch. In this movie I particularly enjoyed Ray Fisher, Ezra Miller and Ben Affleck. The powers of the superheroes are also used to their full creative potential. This makes for spectacular scenes full of action and suspense. After watching Zack Snyder’s Justice League, I have a huge desire to re-watch Man of Steel and BvS. It has also created desire where I hope Zack Snyder gets to continue and finish his vision for this franchise.

Conclusion

Normally I write an extensive conclusion, but I only want to say two things briefly now. My thanks to Zack Snyder. Not only for creating a top-notch movie, but also for continuing your original vision. And also I hope Zack Snyder can make his two other Justice League movies. In short – #RestoreTheSnyderVerse.

★★★★★

#zack snyder #justice league #snyderverse #deborah snyder #snyder cut #zack snyders justice league #justice league 2021 #sebkijk

2 notes · View notes

alegacyofmikalsons · 5 years

Text

The Act of Living Chp.1: Back in the Crescent City

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! I’ve been lurking on my main Tumblr @adrianadmirer in the Originals and Legacies tags for several months now since I got into these shows (I finally got Netflix and was able to watch) and I’ve been working on this story for a while as well. I’ve had a version of this first chapter on Wattpad for months and now it’s finally at a place where I’m happy with it enough to share on here as well. Please feel free to leave comments, I want to know what you think as the story progresses and if there are things I can improve on. This is my first time writing for anything TVD/Originals/Legacies and I'm relatively new to these shows so, any feedback will be much appreciated!

Rating: PG-13

Series summary: Klaus and Elijah were supposed to die, but fate in the form of new friends Serafina Hewitt and her sister Stevie intervened. A year later Stevie is dead and Sera returns to New Orleans to see her friends and investigate her suspicions about what happened. When it's confirmed that a powerful hunter group is responsible, she realizes a much bigger threat is coming, one that threatens all of New Orleans. As they race to stop it, she gets more than she bargained for, finding the truth about who she is and a growing attachment towards a certain Mikalson. Most importantly, they all get answers to the biggest riddle of all: what the act of living really means.

Visiting New Orleans should be a good thing, the place I'm from and still consider home despite having to leave it at sixteen. It's a lively place with the warmest people where even death is celebrated with a party. But currently, it reminds me of everything I've lost. Walking through the familiar streets, I find myself consumed with guilt and sorrow from the latest person to be taken from me.

My sister. Not by blood since our parents chose to adopt me five years before Stevie was born. But, that little detail didn't matter. It still feels lonely, a part of me gone forever.

The moment I found out, only several hours ago replays in my mind for the hundredth time.

"You need to come down here," Rebekah Mikalson exclaimed.

Stevie and I met her and the rest of her family a few years ago when I helped my sister move back there and we slowly became closer friends through the handful of trips I've made since including the last one barely a year ago where a vision of mine and my blood kept them together.

The hoarseness in her tone and the faint sniffling grabbed my attention, a cold shiver running down my spine.

This was no ordinary phone call among long-distance friends.

"Why? Is something wrong?"

There was a moment of silence as she struggled to compose herself. "It's Stevie. She's...she's..."

The mention of my sister sent my heart thumping hard against my chest. No, I thought. It couldn't be. As painful silence ticked by, I became irritated from impatience as a sinking, awful sensation of dread swirled inside my gut.

"Rebekah, just say it."

Even though I had a feeling of what was coming, I had to hear it out loud.

"She's dead Sera!"

There they were. I had braced for them yet, they still took the air out of my lungs.

"What?"

"She was killed last night outside of a bar just outside the Quarter. I just found out myself."

The truth finally hit fully, shattering the numbed shock.

Gasping, my knees gave out and I sank to the floor, letting a mix between a scream and a wail. My worst fears had come true. I thought that she'd be safe here, away from me and all the dangers and problems I carried just for merely existing. This was New Orleans, home of everything that goes bump in the night or is out of the realm of normal humanity. But, it didn't matter. The people close to me always left, one way or another.

As the sobs subsided, I shook my head, staring out at the drizzle that constituted a typical Oregon morning. I already had a good idea of who might be responsible. The same people who took the rest of my tiny, adopted family from me. All because I had a stubborn ability to survive what others couldn't. But, I needed details to be sure. To see if they left anything behind. If my suspicions were correct, they definitely would.

Putting the phone on speaker, I set it down on the floor next to me. "What happened? Do you know?"

"Not really," she replied. "Her body was discovered a few hours ago, just as the sun was coming up. There's some bruising from a struggle of some kind and then a f-fatal cut across her throat. They're saying it was probably a random incident but..."

"You don't think so."

My heart lept into my throat. The description matched those of other victims I had seen both in person and in newspaper descriptions.

"No. You know as well as I do she...she would've been able to defend herself it was. No one will believe me though, not even my siblings. They all think I'm being unrealistic, and I can't blame them."

As she continued to rant about how her brothers never took her seriously I leaned my head against the kitchen cabinet and drowned her out. I already knew they didn't. Rebekah was known for thinking with her heart and not her head. But, she was just as smart and calculating as her more well-known siblings. Something they often forgot until it came out abruptly.

"The only thing that looks weird is this...symbol." The statement brought my attention back, picking it up with my sensitive hearing. "On the side of her neck. Maybe you know what it is?"

My breath caught. A symbol was the exact thing I was searching for.

"Describe it to me."

"It's some circle with a...lion in the middle. And some language that I can't make out. Greek I think. Why?"

It matched the symbol of the group I had in mind perfectly. It couldn't be a coincidence. Their explicit threats against her--verbal and written, the way she was killed. They had to be responsible. And if they were in New Orleans, I doubted they would be leaving anytime soon. It was too big of a target to pass up--the biggest place they've appeared so far. If the results were anything like they've committed here, hundreds would be dead. Supernatural and regular human alike.

"Because, it tells me exactly who killed her," I murmured.

After a moment of deliberation, I sprang to life again and rushed over to where my laptop was sitting. Suddenly, New Orleans was the place I wanted, no needed to be. I missed my old home and seeing the dysfunctional family I called friends in person. But, it was more than that. I felt a sense of obligation to protect the city. And I couldn't quite do that from a phone call or video chat.

"Listen, I'll be on the earliest flight out I can manage," I told her, my fingers dancing on the keys. Finding one that worked, though it was a bit pricey, I became resolved in my decision to leave. Just like last time, everything screamed that this was worth it."

I heard her gasp. "You're coming here? I thought you were busy"

"I am." It was an exhaled response. "But, suddenly I have new priorities. You guys have been wanting me to visit for a while anyway. Make sure no one touches a thing on her body or tries to move it until I've had a look. I don't care what you or your siblings have to do."

"Does that mean you think I'm right?"

"Yeah, Rebekah, I do. I'll be there by late afternoon, hopefully, earlier than that."

After an hour's drive to Portland, a cross country flight and renting an expensive taxi into the city, I've finally made it with still plenty of the day left. Pulling out my phone, I look at the address Rebekah sent and sigh.

At least I have one thing to distract me. I briefly close my eyes and memories swirl in from the people on the street, too many for my mind to focus on one for long. Some are happy, others not so much. All contain the private thoughts and feelings I have no business experiencing. But, I can't control it, much like the other abilities I inherited from faceless people. The only thing I know about what I am comes from my blood. Closer to black than red. Able to sustain me yet kill everything else.

Demon.

I don't know what type or how saturated it is or even what side it’s from. There are too many in the books I've read to narrow it down to one and I’ve never met my birth parents. I only know what powers it gives me and that it comes with a lot of destruction, both internal and external.

I also know that my visions--both of the past and the future--aren't normal for any kind of demon. This and other strange powers I’ve discovered mean the blood of something else flows in my veins as well. But, it's been nearly thirty years and I've yet to figure out what.

Blinking open, I resume my steps and shake my head, putting away everything I've seen. I can't forget it, or any information really but, I have ways to pretend and set them aside.

Soon, the bar I'm looking for, Rousseau's, is in front of me and I pause. I know seeing Stevie's body is going to be hard but, if I don't manage my emotions, it won't be pretty. This usually helps.

After a minute, I step around the brick building, finding Rebekah with her platinum blonde hair crouched over a covered white sheet. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I close the gap between us until she looks up.

"You're here," she whispers, springing up to engulf me in a hug. "Thank god."

She squeezes me so tight that I struggle to catch my breath, coughing out a short reply. "I've missed you too."

Letting me go, she stands there silently, with a slightly apologetic look before her gaze drifts to the concealed figure next to us. My sister. The crying has stopped for now, but the tears are still fresh. The redness around her eyes and frown point to how she's really feeling which is anything but fine.

I look around and quickly realize that we're alone. I expected to see at least one of her siblings with her.

"Where are...?" I ask.

"It's just me. Klaus left soon after I got here. He did chase everyone off, just like you asked."

I can't help the snicker that comes up. "I don't need to know the details about how that went."

"Actually, there was no actual blood spilled this time, just the threat of it," she comments.

I don't particularly care or judge him for his impulsive acts of violence since I've succumbed to it countless times. But, it's not the healthiest form of anger management or dealing with emotions so, I'm glad about this small piece of info.

"So he is taking my advice then," I tell her.

She nods after a minute. "Sometimes. I doubt he could ever stop completely." Then, her smile falters, and she clears her throat. "Anyway, Elijah's been home figuring out arrangements. It looks like we’ll be able to have the funeral tonight. That is unless you want to take her back to Mirebrook. He wanted to make sure you had the final say."

I haven't even thought about that. Most of my family's ancestors are entombed here, including our grandparents. My parents are the only exception, instead of being buried in the little cemetery in Mirebrook. But, I've been planning on moving them down here too eventually. Even from the start, they promised me our move wasn't going to be permanent. New Orleans is where we truly belong. That's why Stevie decided to return when she was old enough. So, while I appreciate having the choice, it only takes a minute standing here to decide.

"No, this is fine. She's a Hewitt...not just in name like me but by blood. She belongs here."

She nods once more as we continue to stand there silently for a moment. We both know what I came here for. Answers. I need to be sure but at the same time, neither of us wants to see her like this.

Eventually, I gesture to my sister on the ground, mustering up enough emotional strength. "Can I?"

She blankly looks at me before blinking with a start. "Oh...um, of course. Sorry, I'm a bit out of it right now."

I know exactly how she feels. She bends down once more and delicately grabs ahold of the white tarp before meeting my gaze. At my nod, she pulls it back to reveal Stevie's lifeless stare. It's a punch to the gut seeing her skin already a pale gray from decay and a gasp catches in my throat.

"Stevie..." Reaching down, I touch her ever so slightly, the coldness another shock to the system.

I bite down on my lip hard as I feel the energy within me stir and a sudden breeze tickles the back is my neck from it. Sometimes it gets agitated when my emotions run high. I hesitate and wait for everything inside to calm.

Breathe deeply. Quiet. I'll be fine.

The mantra is one I've memorized from when my mother's soft voice repeated it as a little kid to stop my destructive blowups. After a few minutes, I'm comfortable enough to continue. I have to know if they're responsible.

I turn to Rebekah. "Where did you...see the symbol?"

Swallowing, she mumbles, "Right side of her neck. By her ear."

Brushing her hair back I quickly find it. A circular symbol in black ink stands out against her fair complexion, the lion's face and handwriting staring up at me. Everything seems to stop as a chill of fear and extreme anguish runs up my spine.

"No."

"Sera?" Rebekah asks, noticing my reaction.

I ignore her as angry tears slip down my cheeks.

Nemean found her. In the one place I didn't want them to touch. And I know them well enough to realize they aren't leaving anytime soon. The city is a perfect location for the attacks that terrorized Mirebrook every couple of years.

"I'm sorry Stevie. This is all my fault."

They went out of their way to hunt her, just like our parents and my friends. Because they chose to raise and love me. Suddenly, the power arouses inside once more and the wind picks up around us. I'm too volatile, if I stick around, no amount of controlled breathing will matter. I grab the tarp from Rebekah and quickly covered my sister once more.

"Sera, what's wrong?"

Standing, I simply shake my head, unable to get any words out as I fold my arms around my heaving chest. I spin around and hurry out of the alleyway. Stopping a few feet away, I close my eyes and take more deep breaths until I steady myself.

"Sera, what the hell?" Rebekah exclaims and I open my eyes to see her frowning at me.

Seeing her concerned expression, I sigh. "Sorry I just needed to get out of there."

"Does that mean you know what that symbol is?" Her brows furrow in confusion.

"You don't?" My pitch rises a couple octaves.

Surely they would've heard of such a notorious group of hunters by now.

But, she shakes her head adamantly. "No, I've never seen it before in my life. I did take a picture of it though. Why?"

"Because,” I reply. “It belongs to her killers. The Nemean brotherhood."

Her eyebrows lift off her forehead. "So this was on purpose then."

"Yes, by hunters called the Nemean Brotherhood. I don't think they’re done either. In fact, I imagine they've just gotten started."

"You think something else will happen," she murmurs catching on immediately. "What exactly? More hunts?"

I hesitate, folding my arms tightly. Knowing that they could be here, maybe even watching me I can't help feeling a bit paranoid.

"Yes and no," I finally tell her. "They don't just hunt Rebekah. They massacre.”

This only makes her more confused. “What does that even mean?”

Sighing, I finally confess what I’ve been suspecting since the phone call this morning. “Everyone in the quarter is in danger. Maybe even the entire city."

....

#the originals #elijah mikaelson #originals au #elijah x oc #klaus mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson

14 notes · View notes