#i stopped posting about the game so frequently kinda because of this yknow??

[saturnisfallingdown]

Like the thing about The Stanley Parable is that first and foremost it's a piece of art. And therefore it's pretty hard to fandom-ize in the way a long-form series with a multitude of characters is!! The Stanley Parable is a commentary on creating art and the tropes of story-based video games, and it's about the player and your relationship with a disembodied narrator. It's a simple premise that's made great with it's incredible writing, atmosphere, signature style of humor, and great voice acting. The game only has 2 real characters, with only one-offs (Mariella, The Curator, The Adventure Line) as the remaining "cast". And this is great! It's a fundamental element of the game! TSP is a great game and people loved it on release. And when it first came out, it was seen as just that!! A great story! It got analyzed and interpreted and that was the most interaction you'd see with it online.

I remember how the scene looked when I fell in love with the game! It had a small bit of fanart, and it was usually pretty abstract and a tribute to the game as a whole. There were certainly a few artists who treated it in a more fandom-y light (focusing on individual characters, headcanoning, etc. I remember @/missazura and @/mpils specifically, huge shout out to them I've loved their stuff for years and years), but I found they were more of the minority. Fanfictions were in a similar space. The number of Stanley Parable fics on Archive of Our Own was few when I first checked. And even then, a good number of them were of people applying the player-narrator dynamic into their other fandom's AUs, people having fun with crackfics, etc etc. The game just wasn't fandomized that hard, because it wasn't built with that kind of interaction in mind!

Eventually though, Ultra Deluxe was announced to the excitement of the larger gaming community as a whole. It was released years later in 2022, and the game was hit with a MASSIVE new wave of fans. And it was fantastic!! The new content got analyzed and torn apart and theorized on and people discussed the music and the new characters and the environments and the game got disassembled immediately, which is exactly what a game like TSP is meant for! It was incredible to watch!

And with this massive wave of fans, what followed was one of the fundamental truths of the internet. When a large number of people love a thing, they become a fandom. And fandoms behave in a very specific way! Suddenly the discussion centered more around the characters, around their dynamics, and often around shipping.

Pre-Ultra Deluxe, the idea of shipping Stanley and the Narrator was a bit more. Taboo? I guess would maybe be a word to describe it ? There were CERTAINLY people dedicated to the idea, but it was a pretty uncommon view on their dynamic, and many were also strongly against it. "Stanarrator" shippers were a small subsection of fans. But when Ultra Deluxe dropped, that changed almost instantly. Suddenly, as the fandom began to take the skeleton of a real fully fledged fandom, Stanarrator took front and center amongst fans on social media. The game had two primary characters, and they had a complicated relationship, and everything else fell into place pretty quickly.

As the initial discussion of TSP:UD died down, what was left was the fandom-y side of fans, and its since become the current Stanley Parable fandom. And the thing is. It's unrecognizable from a couple years ago!!! If you go into the tag currently, it's made of narrator designs and stanarrator and lovebug au content and it's almost unrecognizable from the source game at points.

The Stanley Parable fandom isn't a rare case, this happens frequently with media that only has so much content to give, so in order to partake in your usual fandom activities, fans have to make it up themselves.

And of course, I mean this all in the least judgemental way possible!!! I was here when you had to walk uphill both ways in the snow for fancontent for this game and I've made narrator designs and I've posted about the stanarrator dynamic for years and I have zero place to speak on anything. But still!!!

I've witnessed the full life cycle of a fandom finding a game without one and taking it apart until they can't anymore and then choosing what they want to focus on now. And I don't really have a point to this other than like. shits wild right

As someone who's been a hardcore stanley parable fan for like. oh god 5 or 6 years!! and has been here since the tag for the game was made of me and like 3 fanartists and the incorrect quotes blog. the way the fandom has evolved since then is sooo so fascinating to me

[saint-patrice]

Can you do the picture thing with pasta?

i can indeed my friend! 😎 i love our czech noodle boy with all my heart, so let’s get this show on the road:

see here for other posts like this one! i am also taking requests for ‘em :)

i’m putting this photo first because i found it to be personally and deeply transformative. i have always adored pastrnak, but was on the fence for a while as to whether i also found him physically attractive. this picture give me an aggressive shove off of said fence, and i then proceeded to land in a pile of my own feelings for this man. not that he even needs it in the first place, but that shirt is doing miraculous things

🎶 walk, walk fashion baby, work it move that bitch crazy🎶 despite his teammates’ best efforts to take the piss out of him for it, pasta really is our resident fashion icon, and i love that. this suit is stunning, and i’m usually iffy about suits w sneakers, but it actually looks rather lovely on this occasion. i now feel inspired to go find a pair of renaissance-looking floral trousers of my very own

joyous!! a beautiful ray of sunshine!!!! we are so lucky to have him, i really really love the energy and ~vibe~ he seems to bring to the team. my sample size of one (me) perhaps makes my findings unreliable, but i do believe that it is scientfically impossible to not smile when looking at pasta smiling

i go completely apeshit every time i see pastrnak’s tattoo - it’s absolutely gorgeous. if i remember correctly (please holler at me if i’m wrong), a lot of it is in memory of his father too, which is really nice. pasta is an amazing player in his own right, but when you hear about his childhood and what he had to work through, i think it makes you appreciate what he’s managed to achieve - especially at such a young age - all that much more. we’re proud of you pasta!!

noodle man says gay rights. fuck yeah!

is there a shortage of snacks in the nhl?? why does everyone feel the need to munch on their equipment??? i’m so confused. whatever the case, this is hella cute, and makes me smile like an utter fool 

oh no, there he goes :(

sometimes i’m having a bad day and then i remember this picture exists and you know what? smiles is better. pasta would make a good life coach. it will not solve your problems, but sometimes just putting on a smile can make them seem a bit easier. anon i’m so sorry, you probably just wanted a lighthearted photo post but here we are, getting very philosophical. blame pasta. tl;dr, smiles is better and david pastrnak is amazing

what locker room shenanigans are these boys getting up to? and do i even want to know? this post was a blessing from the bruins instagram tbh. also uhhh boy’s got some fuckin legs jesus h christ 👀 watch where you’re putting those things

oh my god!!!! who let him look this good holy shit. i think navy might be pasta’s colour, and i can totally get on board with the navy/coral combo too. absolute style king, through and through

this is, i think, my absolute favourite pasta lewk. it’s fairly simple, but i love the colour scheme (see my above point), and the matching waistcoat + jacket really make it. i am also smitten with those shoes for some reason. plus i think the headband is literally just so good???? like hell yes, i am very much here for all of pasta’s hair accessorising 

something in me feels like pasta frequently gets in mild trouble with the bruins pr team because he is just slightly chaotic. case and point: mr pastrnak just distributing gatorade thingys to the audience at the all star skills event lmaoooo i love him

the grey shirt is back - be still my beating heart. oh lord. he looks so fucking good. i cannot stop looking at this

okay so pasta literally scores the dirtiest, sexiest goals i’ve ever seen. do yourself a favour and look up some compilations on youtube. thank me later, because every single one of them is fucking delightful, with the occasional one honestly getting me a bit hot and bothered 

i wouldn’t put it past him to just walk into td garden on a tuesday in april with this getup 

this is a strong candidate for my favourite social media interaction ever. “hey spaghetti man” is such a strong opener and i think it gave me whiplash, but nothing can be as iconic as “it calls style in europe”. sometimes that’s my response when my friend gives me a look for wearing an outlandish shirt or loud pants - they have no idea what i’m actually referencing, and also we live in europe, so they usually just try to ignore it. this is also a good photo in general, pasta looks v cute. i can only assume those jorts (let’s call them as they are, folks) were intact when he bought them but his legs, as we can see, are so powerful that they broke free 🤷🏻‍♀️

i mean this is like,, very sexy of him to look like that and that’s all i think i can safely say about this gif, at least on this new pg website tumblr has tried to create…

i reblogged this with the tag #oh…….worm? and i stand by that. like, sir?? hello??? do you have any idea what you’re doing to me???? i just cannot catch a break from this man’s sheer beauty 

(gif via @gaudreau) oh my god i actually love him - he really is our little ray of sunshine 💖 i don’t even know what tf he’s doing but he’s so cute so it does not matter. this also reminds me of that one clip of him doing the macarena in front of a green screen while wearing his skates for some media thing

this is like the only goddamn gif i could find of it but pasta passing the empty net goal to bergy during his 1000th game is one of the sweetest things i’ve ever seen anyone do on the ice???? it was just a little gesture but i think it’s a testament to the team dynamic, as well at the type of person pasta is (ie lovely). sometimes i tear up thinking about this game if truth be told (yes i’m a baby leave me alone)

i know i said i liked the blue suit the Most but this is a close second,, that is such a crisp fit he looks so mf good mmmmmmmm . also what a lovable buffoon 

handsome man alert !!!! this is not a very good picture to demonstrate the fact, but pasta has really nice eyes like i’m legitimately jealous >:(

(gif via @formulaice7) a better man would have been able to pick just one of these to include, but better men are off doing something far more productive than this, so you are stuck with me, who is chronically indecisive. but i saw these gifs and my only reaction was “oh fuck” and i do believe that is appropriate. maybe it’s just my weird opinion, but one thing sexier than shirtless? almost shirtless. (but i mean there’s plenty of fully shirtless pasta out there if u want it) the hand hanging on that hook is also kinda getting to me. he is just very beautiful

sometimes i wonder why the majority of the nhl has no personality and then i remember - david pastrnak is literally hoarding it all…!

lads, it’s official: this is the only photo i need to look at for the rest of my life. if this is not the energy you are bringing, i don’t want to fw you

and here ends my very first david pastrnak lovepost - thank you for the request anon, i hope you enjoy!!! :) i love pasta with all my little heart so i really loved doing this one and in all honesty could probably be talked into doing another one pretty easily if anyone is interested, bc there’s a lot of photos and gifs i didn’t use (i don’t want to make these like 50 photos long yknow). as mentioned at the top of the post, feel free to send me any requests you may have!!

[indulgnces]

the list of wanted plots I promised in my intro: brooke edition! i really don’t feel comfortable plotting until I can sit and get my wanteds out of my system, because making this list requires me to go into my girl’s head and figure out how she relates to people, and doing that helps me moving forward with plots and messages, so I wanted to post this before i started to hit people up for plots. if you liked my intro I’m gonna hit you up soon, but if you also like this I’ll also hit you up all the same! (mild ahs1984 spoilers below)

brooke thompson | twenty-four | veterinary assistant | ahs: 1984

college students: brooke is currently enrolled in grad school doctor of veterinary medicine program at unspecified truman university. she’s a good student, maybe a little on the quiet side. other grad students to connect with, especially if they’re going for the same degree, are welcome!

neighbors: brooke lives in a modest apartment complex in town. she lives alone, doesn’t make a lot of noise, doesn’t do much to attract attention as a neighbor, but she does help when asked, generally. can spot you some sugar, can look after your dog if you have to run an errand real quick, and the like. will go to a party or gathering when invited, generally, because she’s kinda lonely and even though she appreciates the time alone now more than ever, she doesn’t always like to be lonely.

80s infusion: I imagine brooke’s been surrounded by people from 80s media since coming to truman because it’s the decade she missed in her life, so to help her believe in her truman life, the executives gave her the decade she never got. so if your character’s from an 80s piece of media, I’m sure we could work out some sort of connection! aerobics buddies, mall rats, roller rink and bowling friends/competitors! lots of fun 80s things to exploit  

crushes/flirtationships: the only relationship brooke has ever had has been with her canon ex joey, and that hasn’t changed since coming to truman. but that doesn’t stop her from having crushes or building flirtationships with people. y’all ever seen her character teaser? that just exudes innocent flirty girl next door type shit, yknow innocent banter, v s1e1-3ish betty cooper vibes? she used to be a cute little flirt. then you get what happened post jail and she’s out here feeding boys twizzlers without a care in the world, and I feel like she’s more game to step that flirting up a notch into not so innocent waters, too, with the right banter partner. 

sexual awakening: okay so brooke already had her sexual awakening with montana when she kissed her, has come to realize that oh shit, she likes girls too. but she hasn’t done much about it other than try to repress that shit because oh shit, she likes girls too. some girls in her life who can tempt her/help her come to terms with her sexuality could be cool.

mutual annoyance: brooke doesn’t have a lot of patience for bullshit people anymore. she’s lost all her tolerance for people who try to be intimidating, who use fear tactics to scare, who spout a lot of bullshit nonsense to make themselves seem cool or scary or smart or whatever type of bullshit. she’s done acting interested, and she’s not about to be scared anymore. if your character is a bullshit character, who maybe has a lot of bravado or thinks himself to be invincible or whatever, there’s a high probability that brooke doesn’t care for them at all. fun mutual annoyance banter can ensue!

memory confidants: brooke’s memories have almost returned in full (after 11/13, they’ll all be back), and it’s left her with conflicting emotions. prior to their return, she was living the life she was supposed to live, the one that was stolen from her from maragret, but now that they’re back, she remembers everything that was taken, that actually happened to her. now, she doesn’t know what to make of truman. to be grateful, or pissed? and she doesn’t know what to do moving forward, now that she knows she’s in suspicious redwood-like place again. I like the idea of her having confidants, people she can talk this shit out with, who are also experiencing conflicted emotions about truman and their memories. they could talk deep shit, they can shoot the shit about theories about truman, anything! just someone she can turn to with her confusion.

rage release: what she experienced at and because of camp redwood has unlocked a new found rage in brooke. she’s been drawn to the darkside, and it’s hard not to let that darkness consume her. while donna’s not around to help her keep it in check, these muses are! I like the idea of her having a psychical way to express that rage, so I can see her taking up boxing, and could thus use a boxing buddy. or alternative forms of release are great too! maybe batting cages, or firing ranges, or even rage sex could be a thing! just people who help her get that energy out of her, whether because they also need to expel some rage, or because they just like doing the activity and were like cool, new sparring partner, rad.

work connections: she works as a veterinary assistant at a local clinic, so there’s lot of possibilities! if anyone else works at a clinic, maybe they could be working there together! or you have a muse who has a pet with a chronic illness or a clumsy pet that makes them come in often, or freak accidents that happened with a pet that results in frequent visitations. hell, even just older pets needing their regular medication, so your muse stops by every month or so to pick it up and thus sees brooke - we can go a lot of ways with it in this connect.

animal lovers: brooke has come to be very distrustful towards people, but animals have never failed her. she’s still got a big heart, and a lot of it’s love is directed towards animals. if your muse is a fellow animal lover, than brooke is more likely to like them.

friends: p self explanatory. she’s pretty reserved and skeptical of strangers now, but she does have friends, and she does like having friends. I imagine she doesn’t have a lot though. she has her guard up a lot, because the last time she openly befriended someone, that someone tried to have her killer repeatedly, so.

[blackjacketmuses]

hc; og dante 12

In honor of @dwellsinme​ who inspired me with her HC to post mine, because I’ve had it but haven’t gotten around to actually posting about it.

Dante - my Dante - is very much ADHD. 

It’s kind of a tossup whether his nature as a hybrid has anything to do with it (see: PJO series), but he is definitely, definitely ADHD and has been since he was a kid. Unfortunately, in the late 70s-early 80s, neurodivergence wasn’t as big or talked about a concept, so no one really had any idea, and Dante’s so detached from the normal human life at this point it’s probably never come up and never will. He functions....as well as one would expect with that on top of cPTSD and depression, but, yknow, he manages. So it’s never been a real, true problem. Drove his parents and teachers crazy as a little, and definitely drives people crazy now, but...that’s just how Dante is.

I’m gonna go into more detail under a cut just because long post incoming:

To start I’m just gonna drop a list of symptoms here, so you can kinda see what I’m getting at: bolding is mine, and is the symptoms Dante visibly explicitly shows and expresses (for the record, he definitely has combined type, which has symptoms of both inattentive and hyperactive)---

Inattentive type:

Be easily distracted, miss details, forget things, and frequently switch from one activity to another

Have difficulty maintaining focus on one task

Become bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless doing something they find enjoyable

Have difficulty focusing attention on organizing or completing a task

Have trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete tasks or activities

Appear not to be listening when spoken to

Daydream, become easily confused, and move slowly

Have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as others

Struggle to follow instructions

Have trouble understanding details; overlooks details

Hyperactive type:

Fidget or squirm a great deal

Talk nonstop

Dash around, touching or playing with anything and everything in sight

Have trouble sitting still during dinner, school, and while doing homework

Be constantly in motion

Have difficulty performing quiet tasks or activities

Be impatient

Blurt out inappropriate comments, show their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for consequences

Have difficulty waiting for things they want or waiting their turn in games

Often interrupt conversations or others' activities

Okay, so maybe he leans a lot heavier into hyperactive type, but, I mean. Watch him doing stuff, especially in 3 and 4 --- he’s definitely very easily distracted, doesn’t seem to listen a lot, and focus is only kept when he’s really interested in something, otherwise he super ignores it. And details? Ha! What are those, he just jumps in and does things.

As for the hyperactive symptoms, I don’t think I need to point out many specific instances, it’s...we all see it. He’s constantly running his mouth, constantly in motion, constantly moving, playing with things, bouncing on his feet, fidgeting, fighting, moving a lot as he fights...I mean look at him playing with every single new toy he gets immediately, and especially look at him with Cerberus. He’s loud, he’s present, he’s very impatient --- we see that a lot in 3 re: puzzles and locks --- and honestly he’s very good at interrupting people. Not to mention that thing about saying inappropriate things, and being unable to restrain emotions or actions? Definitely Dante, demonstrably so.

Other symptoms Dante definitely has --- and this is speaking as me, an ADHD person, who sees a lot of my bullshit in Dante --- are:

MOTIVATION ISSUES (don’t @ me Vergil): Look at this guy, he can’t or won’t do anything that doesn’t click into his interests (and even then!!) unless he gets pushed or bullied or bribed into it. He needs to be given a significant and heavy reason to get up and do shit, otherwise he’ll just sit around or blow it off and claim pickiness. And sure, he is picky --- because specific criteria on What Will Interest Him is another ADHD thing!! --- but man, even then, you can see in the anime he has to be pushed out the door to get shit done sometimes. This is clearly contributing to his broke situation. And when he’s Depressed it’s worse, look at the state of his office in 5!!

REJECTION SENSITIVE DYSPHORIA: Now this one isn’t quite as obvious, because he’s REALLY GOOD at pretending he’s fine, but he really does not cope well with being yelled at/rejection/being pushed away by people, especially people he likes. That’s a mood. This was worse by far when he was a kid, and is part of why he’s such a pushover and can easily be bullied into doing things for people he likes or people he wants to like him. He doesn’t want to be rejected or criticized, so time to do what they want me to! No problem, no argument!

SLEEP PROBLEMS: Either he is like LOOK MA NO SLEEP I CAN DO THIS ALL WEEK or he’s sleeping constantly and looking like Rip Van fucking Winkle. Now this does overlap with the depression, but ADHD internal clocks are borked to hell and back, too, so his sleep schedule and how much/little he sleeps is just. What even. How. 

TIME PROBLEMS: Either something is Now or it is Not Now and if it is Not Now it is not worth caring about or worrying about.

IMPULSE CONTROL: As mentioned above, but with the added problem of “what is delayed gratification I don’t know her”, and needing rewards for what he’s doing Now Please Thanks.

DECISION MAKING: When confronted with difficult decisions, either you a) freeze because AAHHHH TOO MUCH or b) just Do Something because panic without thinking. Also what the FUCK is a plan, there are no plans, plans don’t exist.

BOREDOM IS EVIL: No being bored, ever, oh god, nope, fuck that cannot be bored boredom is the devil and causes BAD BAD THINGS. Must always be doing things, needs entertainment, needs stimulation or will quickly devolve into a lump on the couch. If thing is boring, will NOT do it, nope, fuck that.

CHILDLIKE BEHAVIOR: Like whew. I mean. Local 42yo man acts like a 10yo boy pretending to be an 80s action hero like in the movies, constantly, as if he thinks that mimicking that is how Adults Are. And just, generally acting like an enormous child.

WEIRD KID: Just...generally coming off as weird or different or Outside The Norm, not good with normal human social cues and responses to things, acts weird and like an outcast and doesn’t seem to quite fit in with normal people.

FIXATIONS: Pizza pizza pizza NEVER GET BORED OF PIZZA I COULD EAT PIZZA EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE also sundaes. 

MUSIC...GOOD: This is more subjective, but Dante’s thing with music strikes me as a thing mostly because I am that person who NEEDS TO BE LISTENING TO MUSIC ALL THE TIME HOLY SHIT, I CANNOT STAND IF THERE IS NO BACKGROUND NOISE TO MY LIFE. I get so antsy I want to jump off a cliff when there’s no background noise/music in the car and I Need music on to do anything; but at the same time I can’t listen to podcasts or videos because music I just tune out and it’s There, Good, Wonderful, but if it’s something to concentrate on with Words To Understand, it is BAD and it needs Full Focus or I Don’t Hear SHIT. So, yeah, that too.

NON SEQUITURS EVERYWHERE: You know that THING where topic A comes up and in your head you jump ahead five things in a way only you understand, and then you speak up and bring up topic F out of nowhere because YOU got to it in your head but everyone else is like what the fuck, so you kinda shut up or laugh it off? Yeah. Also that other feel when you’re still on topic B but the rest of the group went on to topic C or D and you’re internally screaming because NO I STILL HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY GET BACK HERE.

WHAT THE FUCK IS VOLUME CONTROL THIS IS MY NORMAL SPEAKING VOICE I’M NOT SHOUTING????: Self explanatory.

BAD AT HEARING THINGS: Needs VERY specific instructions, but also things need repeating a lot because he’s quick to accidentally tune stuff out.

READING: Trouble reading LONG blocks of text. Magazines Good, short articles Good.

Local Man Laughs At Own Jokes, WHAT THEY’RE FUNNY

MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING: He did this more as a kid, but it still applies; local child looks like he’s just kind of vibrating quietly but otherwise paying attention? NOPE he’s having an epic adventure in his head and is not listening to a word. Vergil will tell him later if it’s important.

THE LEG BOUNCE: Speaking of, he CANNOT SIT STILL. He’s at the MINIMUM rocking in his seat or bouncing his foot or tapping his fingers, sometimes as chords to a guitar but other times just taptaptap.

Stopping What Is Stopping, or alternatively, HOW TO START EVEN IDK.

Getting/being increasingly SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE but just sitting there with a smile while internally going AAAAAAAAAAAAA in increasing volume, because you have no idea how to disengage.

Things not immediately in view or immediately important Cease To Exist Entirely.

Related, visual exhaustion aka I HAVE LIVED WITH THIS MESS SO LONG THAT THE MESS IS BACKGROUND NOISE AND DOES NOT EXIST TO ME, I NO LONGER SEE IT, IT IS SCENERY.

Is the only member of this family who can drink caffeine, ADHD cancels the effect out.

Actually Pretty Goddamn Smart, but the disconnect of not having any education after 5th grade and that GOOD GOOD RSD thanks to bitchy clients kicked in and he internalized that he’s dumb now oops, might as well not try. See Also That Good Good RSD RE: bitchy dates, guess he’s just A Terrible Date, whoops, gonna just Not do that anymore. Basically if enough people give him shit about a thing, guess he’s just NOT gonna do that thing anymore!! Yep!!!

Bad at doing things The Proper Way, procedures and rules and bureaucracy are BORING GOTTA GET STUFF DONE NOW MY WAY. Never showed his work in math ever. 

Actually really smart, but got in trouble a lot for lack of visibly paying attention, being unable to sit still in class, and not following instructions. He could do the work and do it right, with or without listening to the lecture, but because he did it on his own terms and by his own rules, even if he got the right answer, he got in trouble. RSD convinced him later in life he was an idiot, but he still is really good at out of the box thinking and figuring shit out with limited information.

Gets Frustrated, Stops Doing Thing (or IMPULSIVITY ACTIVATE FORM OF DOING STUPID SHIT TO GET THING DONE)

Bad habit of WORRY when understimulated, also tendency towards insecurity, this is made WORSE x100 by his PTSD. Not to mention a bit of chronic low self esteem because of most of the above.

Low self esteem feeds into really bad self-awareness; he really doesn’t quite understand or process the effects he has on people, for good or ill.

ADDICTIVE!! BEHAVIOR!!! (see: The Booze)

Stopping this here because a) you get my point by now and b) I’M going full ADHD on fixating on this post so I’m cutting myself off here. Anyway, yeah. There’s this.

[starsmuserainbow]

Okay, look, I do need to get this out, so here's a something. Unrelated to RP or anyone on here, so don't worry, but like. I need to write it out, or perhaps get some thoughts too if anyone wanna, but, yeah.

So like, there's this friend of mine. Yes, that friend of mine, I think I made a post or two about him or his whole friend-group (I basically know all of those only bc of him, probably wouldn't be doing stuff with them without him) before. For reasons of referring to him better in this text, let's say we call him C.

So like, up until idk, two weeks or so ago maybe, when I mentioned that game I recently found to enjoy (and I only mentioned it when I was asked what I was gonna do or the likes), I was reminded how he, they, or whatever, consider it cringey as fk and like idk what else. I think "pathetic" at one point too, but like, honestly, I don't care what other people think about what I like.

Okay, so now, not too long ago, something new was added into the game, something I know C likes. So I told him about it, he was kinda sorta interested but also not really in a way of wanting to start the game. Another bit of time went by, I offered to show him the things of the thing he's interested in within the game, it almost happened once but didn't because my updating stuff takes forever and we stopped calling before I was done with it, then nothing anymore. Then at another point, with another of his friends in the call and he gone for sth (like idk food or bathroom or whatever), I was asked what other games I have. The friend was kinda interested when I mentioned [game] - much more than C, really - and before leaving for the day, saying something along "I'll install [game] for the next time playing and you should too, C". He was actually doing so then, finishing the download for the next day, and then starting it with me.

So like, he knew nothing about the game. I gave tutorial-ish tips and stuff, like what does what or what to use or do or the likes, and another friend of his joined in and we got to a somewhat daily thing for a few days now. I'm really enjoying it, and I'm kinda glad that I have someone I can more regularly play [game] with, but also... You know. It's not been a full week yet, I think. Game's pretty intuitive, I'd say, so it probably makes sense that they know it by now, but yknow, I still feel like... idk, I can't explain. Thing is, now when we're in matches, I often go "be careful" or "you should do xyz" or "you need to do xyz first". I'm well aware that I'm saying "be careful" as kinda my line at the moment - you know what I mean, at least I'm rather sure everyone always has this one word, or line of words, that they use frequently at one point for some reason - and I'm trying my best to stop saying it. Also the other things, but really, if I'm the one still alive I also hear from them "get out of xyz" or the likes, so I'm not sure if that's really all that different from "you should do abc".

Thing is, C is very much pointing these things out to me. It's okay, I know I might be doing it too much since they by now have a good idea of the game, but, C's other friend also playing with us never says anything about it [though idk if he's too polite or nice or whatever and/or just only complains about it like behind my back or whatever or if it actually doesn't bother him] and then sometimes his reactions of the likes of "I fking know!!" are like half-shouts and I really, really, really don't feel good about getting these.

I know it's difficult to say since you don't know what game I'm talking about nor exactly how basic or not the things I say are (honestly like I said, I'm not so sure myself but I don't feel like they are much different from other things they also say or that like are naturally said when doing such a game as a team with calling), but like, is it a thing to really get annoyed about, if someone gives you too many mentions of what to do? I think if I'd be on the recieving end, I would mostly just either not comment on such a remark at all, maybe a simple "yeah" or "yup" or the likes or maybe give a simple "mhm" or like a somewhat annoyed-undertone-"mhm" (though the latter I can hardly see except if things get really repetitive or sth), something like that. But like, if any of you does have opinions or thoughts on this, I would certainly appreciate them.

[kovacissues]

There’s No Way I’m Falling (Dejan fic) Chapter 5

A/N: From now on I will update much less frequent, but I hope you’ll still read.

My writing can be found HERE!

Warning: Alcohol and puking

Chapter 5: At least your hair grows fast.

When Dejan arrived at Salah’s house, his friend was already waiting for him out on the street. Getting out of the car, he sent the kids inside to play with Salah’s daughter before he sat down on a bench. “Stephen, dude… fucking Stephen” Dejan said, making a fist with his hand.

“I guess we have one friend less then, Dejo” replied his friend, trying to make him feel better. “But uhm, I came out to warn you that… I… uhm, I’m doing an interview with López…” he said, unsure on how to expect Dejan to respond. He was pleasantly surprised when he saw him just smile like a child in love.

Dejan suddenly looked amused “what did you tell her was the reason you had to go out?” he asked with a little laugh.

“I… and don’t hate me now, said that my best friend had personal issues but that she could just wait there” Mo admitted, taking a few steps back incase his best friend snapped at him.

“Fuck! She’s gonna think my ‘personal issue’ is her! I kinda slept with her last night and had breakfast with her today” Mo looked at him as if he’d seen a ghost. “Let’s just get this awkwardness over with” Dejan then said and walked in, Mo following right after.

When they got inside he looked at Mimi interviewing Magi, Salah’s wife. He couldn’t help but smile, but that smile was quickly washed away when his son decided to play football and shot the ball straight into Mimi’s face “Ow..” she said adding something under her breath

“Yeah… that child is the definition of hijo de puta” Magi said with a nervous laugh as she noticed Dejan watching. “I mean… his mom is basically a whore… I mean… I’m gonna shut up now” by now he was incredibly mad.

“well the kid should learn to behave… tell your husband I will continue this interview tomorrow at the training grounds” Mimi stated and he couldn’t believe how rude she was, the poor boy just kicked a ball in her face, like calm down. “You have a beautiful home, and your daughter is an absolute love” she added and Dejan didn’t much appreciate the emphasis on ‘your daughter’.

Magi moved her eyes from Dejan to Mimi “You do realize who’s kid that is right?”, well it helped a little bit on his mood when he saw Mimi shake her head a little. “turn around and greet the dad” Magi then replied to the nod and Mimi obliged, making her mouth drop.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry… I didn’t know.. I was just… He kicked a ball in my face and ran off laughing” by now the poor girl looked so scared that he couldn’t do anything but shrug his shoulders. She had a point when it came to his son being a brat. After all he had learnt from the best, his dad.

“don’t worry beautiful, but seriously he’s three years old. That ball couldn’t have hit you that hard” He had never actually seen someone become as red as a tomato from blushing, before now. Calling her beautiful around people apparently did the trick and he was gonna remember that the rest of his life. “Don’t worry… they know everything about my crush already… well the kids don’t but yknow” he tried to reassure her but she didn’t seem any calmer.

“Mohamed, we will meet at the training grounds tomorrow and finish this… Lovren, you know downlow was to protect your kids so I’m not gonna stay here” After she said that she walked out and drove away from the house.

“Ouch… ‘Lovren’…” Mo teased, right after she had left the house. Dejan forced a laughter, mostly to hide that that exact moment had killed him on the inside. Mo must have realized that as he tried to comfort him “I’m not Sime so I can’t cheer you up with that Croatian song from the world cup. But I can cheer you up with the fact that when you sent her the message “we need to talk about Stephen” your name popped up as Dejo with like five hearteye emojis” why on earth did that make him feel better. “also, no I didn’t check her phone it was just laying right next to me and I peeked”

“I should take her out on a date” he said, and his friend nodded. Before he could start planning anything his son came over and looked down. “what’s wrong son?” he asked and got down on his level so he could get eye contact with him.

“The woman was beautiful… I just want attention… I no mean it” Josip explained and made his father smile a little.

“Well, next time you find a beautiful woman, what about you just tell her?” Dejan suggested and his son nodded carefully. “You know what? She is a journalist, so I have her number, should we send her a video of you apologizing?” he then asked to which his son looked very excited.

Dejan handed his phone to Mo and told him to film them. “Hola Noémie, my son has something he wants to tell you” he started before nodding towards Josip. “I sorry for kicking ball… in your face… it just. You beautiful and I want attention” Dejan laughed a little before looking into the camera “You got a spell on Croatian guys” he added before winking and nodding for Mo to stop filming.

When he got his phone back he sent the video to Mimi and wrote “No, he does not know anything about us… yes, my son has impeccable taste in women”.

He spent the rest of the day hanging out with Salah and his family, having to endure hundreds of jokes about himself and Sime and how Sime wouldn’t like Mimi. When he had asked why, Mo had just shrugged and said “competition” and broke out in a fit of laughter.

---

The next couple of weeks went well for Dejan and Mimi, they had taught each other the most important phrases in their native languages. For instance Dejan had learned words like “mi amada” and “mi todo”, along with a couple of words in Catalan, While Mimi had learnt “Budalo Jedna” and “jebi se”. They had even gone on dates, obviously far away from people, and Dejan was falling so hard in love with her.

The only problem he had was that his wife refused to sign the divorce papers, which meant no sex for Dejan. This meant that he was constantly in a bad mood and whenever he heard Spanish he got inexplicably horny. It was horrible for him knowing that she probably felt the same way and he was the reason she couldn’t feel better about it.

Since it was a Friday he looked very much forward to going to training as he knew Fridays were ‘Mimi interviewing Jürgen Klopp before making out with Dejan in the wardrobe day’. Well, at least that was what Dejan called them. He couldn’t wait to see his Spanish lover again, it was almost as if they didn’t spend all their time off messaging and facetiming.

When he got to the training grounds he noticed Stephen interviewing Kloppo and he got confused. “where are you?” he messaged Mimi and less than a minute later he got a picture as answer. She was on a plane. “Sorry I forgot to tell you, my bisa died so I am on my way to Barcelona to attend her funeral” how could she forget to tell him that her… bisa??... died? He felt so horrible but shook it off as to not show his buddies how he felt.

---

That night he couldn’t sleep, he hadn’t heard from Mimi at all since before training and he was so worried his stomach hurt. He decided that if he couldn’t sleep, he might as well check Instagram. That was all fun and games until he saw a picture posted by Ivan Rakitic. A picture of Ivan, some other guys he remembered as Barcelona players, and Mimi… dancing on a table, clearly drunk. The caption made his entire insides burn with jealousy “Had an amazing day with this crowd! Thank you Noémie for showing us all the best places today!”. He wanted to scream, but he ended up doing something way more stupid, calling Ivan.

“Hej brateeeeeee” Ivan answered his phone clearly drunk out of his mind. “Your girrrrlfffriend is so cool” he said trying to be quiet but ended up screaming.

“Yeah I know, so cool that I don’t even have to be a part of her life” He hated seeming clingy, but he had just had an inhumanly amount of Rakija in a very short time.

“are youuu jealoussssss?” Ivan teased, but he could hear a little worry in his voice.

“No I love the fact that she told me she left to go to a funeral but she ends up sloppy drunk with you” He was about to cry, he realized how fragile his heart was.

“She… she… she… just punched. A. guy. for grabbing her… b b butt. And she needed to get away from her family… I’ll give her the phone” Dejan panicked as Ivan said that, and the best reaction he could think of was hanging up and crying himself to sleep.

*Noémie’s POV*

When she landed in Liverpool after her week in Barcelona she panicked, watching all the messages and missed calls that showed up on her phone. How had she not gotten these before? She had gotten at least two hundred messages, and they were all from Dejan. She had to call him, but she was so scared of how mad he could be at her.

She read through all the messages and felt her heart drop at the last one “tell me when you need me again” she felt like the biggest asshole on earth so she decided to just text him instead “Hey, I’m at the airport, seems like my simcard didn’t work outside England… can you please pick me up?”. It felt like it took forever before he replied but after half an hour she got a message with a picture of where he was “I’m outside, hurry up”.

She got to his car and saw him standing there leaning on the car. “Look who decided to show up” She could hear that his voice was trembling, as if he had just cried. “just get in the car” this time he almost sounded aggressive, so she couldn’t do anything but entering the car.

“I’m sorry okay? I didn’t receive any of your messages… I didn’t notice because I knew you were busy with work and I was so busy with the funeral” She tried to explain herself again. This time he just nodded calmly. “You know… Volim te..?” She was so unsure about the pronunciation, but Ivan had tried his best to teach her at least that phrase.

“Not in the mood” Dejan flatly answered without even looking at her. Well, That hurt like a motherfucker. He was so cold towards her and while it felt horrible, she honestly understood him so very well. Just then she felt something she had gotten used to the last couple of days. She hurried to pick up her purse from the floor and take out one of those flight sickness bags and puked.

“are you okay?” now he looked worried, and put his hand on her thigh.

“Don’t worry… it’s not the first time this week” she had to play it off so he wouldn’t be too worried, but her attempt just made him take every shortcut he knew to get faster to her place. When they eventually got there he made sure she would be able to walk in without help before taking her bag and following her.

As fast as she got into her apartment she ran to the bathroom and puked some more, now Dejan followed her and held her hair for her. They sat like that for half an hour before he eventually carried her to bed so she could relax. Both were fully dressed, but Mimi felt like that was maybe for the best since she knew she was frustrated enough as it was.

Mimi ended up laying with her head on his chest getting an update on everything that had happened when she was away while Dejan gently played with her hair. He told her everything from how he had gotten to start a match, to drinking some bottles of rakija, to Anita trying to have him sign off the kids for her to sign the divorce papers. He also assured her that he would never sign them off, much to her big relief.

After a while she could feel her eyes closing and she used all her power to look up at Dejan. “At least your hair grows fast… Goodnight” she drifted off to sleep but could still hear him right before, saying “Volim te draga”.

[ophexis]

ive seen a lot of posts about bilingual characters/people not talking in their first language so heres a quick nobody-asked-for-this personal experience post from a french-canadian who spent three weeks in germany talking nothing but english

first thing, I never “accidently” spoke an entire sentence to either Ten nor Kai in french because I forgot to “switch back” whatever the fuck that means. That would imply I completely forgot I wasn’t in canada talking to french people, and idk that sounds rude. I dunno about anyone else, but I am always very aware of what language I’m talking, and in what context I am speaking it. Like maybe not consciously aware, but I am yknow? (Likewise....Ten or Kai never looked at me and accidently told me a full sentence in German or anything)

That said, I have accidently french’d a few times. The key difference here is that its not “oops i forgot u guys dont speak my language lol”, it’s that where I live, I almost always speak french in my day to day life, and I have like..sentence tics. My mouth is used to saying certain expressions at the beginning of certain kinds of sentences. I don’t remember which one it was exactly, but I have canadian french’d just as a muscle memory thing, and immediatly realised and started my sentence over. (stuff like Tsé genre, Faque (I think it was faque, actually, very quick, very slang-y sentence starters). But I was definitely going to say the full sentence in english...just brain muscle memory?  (also if i hurt myself, ‘ayoye’ comes out way faster than an english version ahue)

Also, when I had to count numbers efficiently for Pathfinder, I’d count in french. I can count perfectly fine in english but it slows me down and it’s a lot more brain work than just counting in french and translating the result.

Also a difference between being at work and talking english, and being in Germany and talking english: at work, I frequently switch back and forth between french and english, and I don’t accidently language tic due to always being kinda....idk fresh? in my translating if that makes any sense. But in Germany I spent three weeks speaking that language without talking to anyone in french, so after a week or two the tics would slip in sometimes (tho honestly I think i did that once or twice at most? maybe three times)

Also I definitely forget some words in english so it ends up like “Oh yeah and there was that......thing....what’s the thing that does (action)??? OH RIGHT.” (which honestly...I also forget words in french and only remember the english equivalent so like thats probably not just a ‘bilingual’ thing) 

and i guess as a bilingual person who spends more time in her native language than in her secondary language, my brain defaults a lot of pronounciation stuff to french. I have been, and still pronounce ‘tomb raider’ wrong. My initial pronounciation of fake video game cities or nations or words will mentally always be very very french. (pretty sure I say Idyllshire wrong, I don’t sweat it for ffxiv elezen cause all their naming is based off french so i know im right >3>)

anyway gotta get ready for a lonely day at work so imma stop that here ahu

reminder that this is a very personal experience that applies to me as a person, experiences will vary

edit: talking in english significantly increases the amount of “huuuuuuh” and “huuuummm” i say before each sentence

[s3venpounds]

1-98

thank you my dewd for giving me something to do! ngl was going kinda insane and i’ll take anything over doing chores tbh also sorry if this is hella late

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs usually because they hold more liquid and i use them for everything lol tea, coffee, alcohol, soda

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

lollipops, i like having something in my mouth for long amounts of time(and yes pun intended)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy oh my god. I have such a sweet tooth its ridiculous. I once bought 7 large bags of cotton candy from K days and ate them for the next 2 months even when they got hard and probably nasty lmao i just love that shit. even cotton candy flavoured stuff ( except vodka. thats a trap. )

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

shy, reserved, well behaved basically i was a wimpy little shit

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I like them in glass cups so i can clean it afterwards and use it again later, waste makes me feel guilty

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

if its applied to me? pastel. I love brighter colors after i stopped wearing blacks greys and whites. they feel so good and look so nice. on someone im interested in? sportswear, formal, grunge, goth, pastel, tomboy. in no particular order. if its sportswear stuff that really highlights muscles and how toned they are just MMMMMMMM. formal is fuckkkkkkking attractive. like if the white collar shirt is unbuttoned halfway and the blazer is rolled up? or no blazer but with suspenders and the sleeves rolled up? OMG i will literally lick their collarbones idgaf

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones, mostly because its just healthier for your ears, as much as i like earphones and use them more often i just prefer headphones cuz people usually dont bother me, i do dislike the hat hair though and how bulky they are

8. movies or tv shows?

im kind of a weeb so i much prefer tv shows with regular releases so im not waiting 6 years or something for avengers lol i need my fixxxxxxxxxxx

9. favorite smell in the summer?

after rain smell or during rain smell idk. carnival food? the ocean? just water scents i guess

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dance or volleyball both of which im still doing to this day very happily c:

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

cereal, maybe some nutella, whatevers left over if someone cooked the night prior or just basic bacon eggs and rice. fried rice if im feeling lucky

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Emotions empty. YEET

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard. I’ve had the same spidergwen/ghost spider lanyard since like 2015 and i refuse to use another lol. it feels so cool to yank on the lanyard and swing it around

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

rock candy. hands down. that shit makes me nutty. like if i was an earth bender or some shit i’d make a giant club made of the stuff and smack people with it and lick it afterwards

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

the outsiders probably i mean its not like crazy favourite but like its the one i enjoyed the most out of the ones i was forced to read (i really hate being forced to do shit)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? criss cross as im doing right now lmao or sitting on one of my legs

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? ah shit I just threw them out cuz they were old af but i had these nike high tops with the little puffy thing that inflates the sides of the shoes to make it more comfortable and it was so good in the winter and summer. it like breathed enough to let my feet stay nice and cool but it also stayed warm and never let snow get in my shoes cuz they were so high they acted like boots. i wore those for like my entire highschool experience

18. ideal weather?

raining. or breezy day. wind makes me sleepy and rain makes me excited to jump around in puddles and run as if my lifes calling is pulling me towards it

19. sleeping position? 

I always sleep on my stomach. its my most comfortable position and i knock out so easily if i do. apparently its a family thing too lol my siblings all outgrew it but w.e

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? 

on a laptop or in my journal. the tapping of laptop keys makes me feel productive while writing in my journal makes me feel like itll be saved for the rest of my life

21. obsession from childhood?

psychology and the inner workings of the mind. why something thinks lowly of themselves, why someone thinks highly of themselves, how they came to this decision, why they thought to refuse this and that its really interesting to me to see peoples reasoning

22. role model?

not even a physical person but ALL MIGHT from my hero academia or boku no hero academia. yknow that phrase ? “ what would jesus do?” yeah its “what would all might do?” for me luuuuuuuuuuuuul

23. strange habits?

i dont really know any strange habits myself but im sure my friend justin knows a few

24. favorite crystal?

crystal???? uhhh i dont know much about this but i guess i would go with emerald? since its my birth stone?

25. first song you remember hearing?

a barney song. i shit you not.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

I dont really like the heat all that much. summer is just suffering to me tbh lol like what do you do when youve taken off all ur clothes, ur AC is dead and your room is the highest room in the house where all the heat gathers? nothing. you do nothing. you cry and almost get heat stroke.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

I loooooooooooove snowboarding im not good at it though but god damn its fun. specially with friends and learning together it makes me so happy seeing people grow c:

28. five songs to describe you?

fix you cold play(currently listening to this), im still here (treasure planet soundtrack) by john reznik, Good things fall apart Jon bellion, lost stars Adam levine, After Dark Asian Kung Fu Generation. is what i can say so far? i’ve got tons of songs i relate to those are the ones that just popped into mind

29. best way to bond with you?

be physical. touch me, graze me, be comfortable with me and hold up a conversation. As much as i like talking I LOVE hearing about the people im interacting with. hobbies, dreams, goals, nightmares everything. other than that? just spend time with me. any time is fine. i do prefer really deep conversations at like 3 am lol

30. places that you find sacred?

sacred to me? St. Clements park and not much else. a looooooooooot of shit has happened there. my first kiss, my worst break up, my best make up/make out, my best date. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

I got these leather boots that do a clack sound on pavement and i feel powerful as fuck. I got this really high quality black formal shirt from le chateau that breathes really well and highlights my figure. I have these black jeans with zippers above and below the kneecap that make me feel dope. so yeah full black lol. theres also this grey sweater i have that flows in the wing like a cape and i feel like a superhero when wind blows it behind me

32. top five favorite vines?

ok ok theres this one i cannot find again for the life of me but its like this asian guy sittin in a stall taking a dump and it cuts to an ice cream dispenser then some dude knocks on the door and the asian guy gasps and it cuts to the ice cream dispenser but goes backwards so the poop is like going back in and the asian guy goes like “ unnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and shudders and i like fucking collapse a lung everytime i think about it. some of king vaders anime parodies are fucking hilarious, the dude who made that vine where “ if johnny has 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ wait why does johnny have 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ mind your business david” while playing with dishsoap lmao. OH OH and that one where the kid puts random shit on his head to signify its his mom like where he goes “ I like ya accent where ya from?” “ im from liberia” “ *in a whisper* oh my bad I like ya accent where ya from” yeah this is longer than i thought i’ll stop it here i still got like 60 questions left

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“lmao” i’ve now used to as a similar term to lol. sometimes i say it in irl like “ le mao” and i internally cringe everytime

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

pizza 73, sleep country canada “why buy a mattress any where elseee” and some spotify ads cuz theyre fucking everywhere

35. average time you fall asleep?

midnight or 10 at the earliest

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

god... uhhh.. one of those rage comics those old ass black n white memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag, i am NOT organized enough for a suitcase plus duffels i can carry across my chest like a backpack

38. lemonade or tea?

oof. lemonade from k days was really gooooooood. but tea is something im always comfortable with.. ill go with tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake defnitely. cake tastes more mellow while meringue is like a burst of flavour right away

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

a dude OD’d during school hours or that time a dude had a seisure in class

41. last person you texted?

clarence

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets if i wanna look badass, pants pockets if im just being a panda

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

oooof. uhh leather or bomber. leather because i love biker aesthetic too and bomber just looks comfy

44. favorite scent for soap?

i dont particularly have one but i do like old spice or irish spring

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

SUPERHERO. HANDS DOWN. fantasy second and sci fi 3rd.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.... naked. only on days i cannot sleep at all

47. favorite type of cheese?

uhh fuck dude uhm.. toss up between cream cheese or parmesan

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

durian. I hate durian. its spiky on the outside, smells like burnt asshole but taste is redeeming

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

inside jokes with justin. just hanging out with the dude I had the best gut wrenching laughs of my life. laughs where my jaw hurt from laughing, i lost feeling in my cheeks, my face was red and couldnt stop crying. those laughs.

51. current stresses?

job security, love life, and friends who are currently getting more and more busy and cant hang out as often

52. favorite font?

IDK? Helvetica?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry and typing.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

People are stupid as fuck. and coworkers are dangerous thanks alex for throwing a kitchen knife at me

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk if it counts since disney always makes fairytales but treasure planet?

56. favorite tradition? 

probably christmas because i think its super important who you choose to spend it with and who you DO spend it with is a sign of how much they mean to you

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

dads abuse, my biggest break up, my friends attempted suicide

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

yknow the devil sign you make by closing your hand in a fist except your pinky and pointer finger? i can make my pointer and pinky touch. I also have been told my volleyball spikes have been really good recently. uhh my dancing I guess? singing?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

EVERYTHINGS FINE WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

My hero academia. hands down.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes, you'll get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you're made of! And... well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day. TREASURE FUCKING PLANET BOIIIIIIIIIIS

62. seven characters you relate to?

jim hawkins, hikigaya hachiman, shoya ishida, natsuki subaru, Hinata Shoyo, Hiccup, roxas.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

oh god. uhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. learn to fly foo fighters? castle on the hill ed sheeran? man idk im not huge on clubs, just shit from like 2000′s rock bands that white person knows the lyrics to and probably screamed in their room when they were mad

64. favorite website from your childhood?

YTV when they first released those side kick things thos games were so cool except that one day where the sidekick turned into a monster i legit got scared lol

65. any permanent scars?

tons actually and i love em! they remind me that things happened and that i wont ever forget them. currently tryna get a scar for volleyball HEHEHE

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont know much about flowers but roses and lavender is nice. and that flower in philippines where if you touch it, it like curls into itself. 

67. good luck charms?

the keychains people i’ve fallen for have given to me. like this one bullet bill keychain AB gave me when we first met in highschool. i still have it. its faded and chipped in places but i feel like it makes me feel stronger yknow?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

birthday cake vodka. hands down. and i’ve literally tasted my own puss from an infected wound on accident

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

in philippines flies are always swarming around peoples food so what i learned was to rip up the napkin to look like that thing people used to dust the house and it keeps them away if you swing it at them

70. left or right handed?

right handed c:

71. least favorite pattern?

pattern? uhh anything disorienting i guess

72. worst subject?

math. 100% math. 

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

meatball marinara sub with like every sauce from subway

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

8. i think i have a high pain tolerance

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i dont remember.. maybe like 6?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

MASHED POTATOES.FRJISD

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

not a big fan of plants....

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

sushi from a grocery store. just cuz im not willing to pay 30 bucks for somewhat fresh stuff from a retaurant

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? school id funny enough

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

...what? i guess jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

FIREFLIES OWL CITYYYYYYYYY

82. pc or console?

console. i have a better understanding of how console plays vs computer. computer is too finicky for me and aiming is a lot harder. console i know how people on console move and how i move and how to aim. 

83. writing or drawing?

writing. if i knew how to draw though thatd be a different answer

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio cuz i like to phone in and talk about my experiences lol i got to be on one actually it was dope

84. barbie or polly pocket?

uhhhhhh barbie?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

death. or atleast what happens afterwards

88. your greatest wish?

to be a hero. 

89. who would you put before everyone else?

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Z

90. luckiest mistake?

one time in gym class we were playing dodgeball and i slipped trying to run backwards and a dude threw a ball at me but i kicked it in a way it went straight up and i had enough time to catch it

91. boxes or bags?

boxes, much better leverage and storing is like a game of tetris!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamps or overheads. sunlight has glare on my stuff and its hard to play and fairylights arent enough 

93. nicknames?

tin man, AG, metal man, poetry man, silverado, silver city, quick silver anything with silver really.

94. favorite season?

fall and winter. winter being the best

95. favorite app on your phone?

Epic seven

96. desktop background? its a picture of hinata shoyo from HAIKYUU!! doing a spike with wings on his back!

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only 1. thats my own lmao

98. favorite historical era?

uhhhhhh shit idk. they all seemed pretty shitty tbh..........