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writersblockiskillingme · 1 year ago

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Ona | Bojan Cvjetićanin

Pairing: Bojan Cvjetićanin x reader

Summary: Bojan wrote this song about you and preformed it at one of the bands concerts for the first time. Through the song he started to spill his feelings for you for the first time after your breakup and you have a few thoughts.

Warning/s: possible grammar and spelling mistakes, mention of mental breakdown, maybe one curse word, bad breakup.

Author's note: Here is one for out golden retriever beautiful boy. I hope that you enjoy this one! Feel free to send in requests if you want me to make something specific with him. Oh and, btw, here is the translation for this amazing song. Your welcome. 😉

It was so bright out there, it started to hurt your eyes a little bit. You were standing somewhere in the middle of the crowd watching the love of your love. The love of your life... that you decided to let go because you felt like you weren't good enough.

You were attending yet another Joker Out's concert, but it felt different this time. Maybe because Bojan and you weren't together anymore.

Joker Out was here, in Croatia's capital city of Zagreb. This was the next stop for their concert. This is where the two of you met. Right here in Zagreb on a hot, sunny day in a crowded city. In your hometown. In the breathing country where you were born and raised in.

So here you were. In your hometown where Joker Out was performing. The first time that you heard that they will be performing in Zagreb, it felt like someone punched you in the stomach. But then you felt something different, you felt the need to see him again. Even if he doesn't take a notice in you as you stood in the middle of the crowd that was dancing and singing along. So you decided to go.

The moment that they stepped onto the stage you felt like you would cry. You missed them all so much. You somehow found the strength deep in your soul to look at Bojan. And so you did. He was just so gorgeous. He looked even better then when he did on the day that you left him (Lana Del Rey anyone? No? Okay...). He still had long hair, he was tall and just oh, so handsome. You noticed one thing however, his playful and mesmerizing, so radiant, smile or his playful smirk wasn't pressed onto his face like it always was. It worried you, truly. You watched as they got in their possession and as Bojan took the microphone.

"So... for the first song I will be singing something that hasn't been released just yet." He spoke in Serbian (it's actually very similar to Croatian, you know?) as he watched the crowd go wild with excitement as they claped and shouted and screamed with pure joy, with pure excitement.

"This song is also very special to me." He said, his voice was deep as he looked down in what seems to be sadness.

"It's about a very special person about who, I hate to admit it, I didn't get over and I don't think that I ever will." He paused for a moment so he could take a deep breath so he could continue to speak. "I met her right here, actually. In the beautiful Zagreb a year ago and I can honestly say that I fell for her harder then I ever did for anyone." The crowd was cheering, screaming, in excitement as Bojan introduced Joker Out's unrelated song.

"This one is for her." He said as the rest of the bend slowly started to play the chords. You felt your last bit of your breath leave your lungs as you felt tears pricking in your eyes, your vision getting blurry. You couldn't move. You couldn't breathe. You couldn't think.

But once he met your eyes deep in the crowd, where you stood, just as he started to sing, you felt like you were going to collapse.

Hodam opet njenom ulicom

Brutalno se vuče otkad nisam više s njom

Stanem ispod njenog prozora

Jedna njena senka da me spasi očaja

Bojan was walking around the dark cornered alley in the middle of the night. It must have been midnight by now. As he walked, he could see his breath in the cold of the Zagreb's winter, cold night. As he watched his breath become visible in the cold, dark night, he found himself pulling his dark coat closer to himself. It was truly a good attempt to keep himself from freezing.

Before he knew it, he found himself walking along the familiar road. The road that he walked along too many times to count, but right now, he was all alone. He looked up so he could be met face to face with the moon. It was shining so brightly in the middle of the dark night's sky. It was staring right at him, it seemed like it was mocking him. It was mocking his heartbreak and his loneliness. It was mocking him.

Suddenly, as Bojan looked down, he felt like the last breath was knocked out of his lungs. You were skipping along the frozen road, your steps quickly increasing as you went towards your apartment.

He felt like a staker, even though he wasn't one. He slowely started to go after you, something was pulling him towards you. That invisible pull was there again, just like it first appeared when he saw you for the first time.

After a while, you finally came into your apartment. You leaned against the window with a heavy sigh. Bojan could see you from the street and as he watched you he felt like he was suffocating.

Bojan loved you. You know what? Scratch that. He loves you. He longs for you. He wants you to be safe and as he watched you quitly from down below, he once again exposed his pain for the Croatian girl to the moon. To the moon, to the darkes and the cold winter in the middle of the street.

Nisam ni zaslužio da završimo uživo

Jedna poruka i via more

Snegovi u avgustu sad po meni padaju

Dok tebe sunce greje, mi amore

It felt like it was a good day. Truly. Bojan and you went out to get lunch and to explore the city. You were just hanging out together and it felt so good to do it. However, all good things have to come to an end.

Bojan didn't expect it at all. It struck him like a bolt of lightning. Out of nowhere, just when you think the day is going to be beautiful, and it hit hard. Really hard. In fact, it hit so hard it hurt.

"I'm sorry, Bojan. I really don't want to do this, but I think it's for the best if we break up."

That was it. Bojan could still remember those words echoing in his mind even though you never said them out loud. You told him this through text messages and maybe that's why it hurts even more than it would if you told him that to his face.

You loved him so much. You still love him so much that it hurts. Joker Out was starting to be a big band that has so much potential, and with that came so much more fame. You just didn't want to be in the way. You felt like you weren't good enough for him. You felt like he could do, and deserves, so much better than you. You were so happy with him, in fact, you were happier than you have ever been. But you didn't want to be in the way. So you made a hard choice.

Nobody could ever know, nobody could ever describe the pain, suffering and all that misery that you felt that day. That miserable feeling you felt when you pressed that little "send" button on your phone. As you watched the message being sent, you cried so much that it felt like you were going to collapse. After that you cut all of the contacts with him.

It was for his own good, that's what you told yourself. It's what you always told yourself as you broke down in the middle of your bedroom floor.

Znaj, bebo, znaj

Celu noć sam plakao zbog tebe

Taj osećaj

Da za mene živo ti se jebe

Ubija me

Bojan felt like a part of his soul was ripped away from his body as he read that message over and over again. He cried so much it started to hurt. He has never felt this way before. He hated to admit it, but he has never loved anyone as much as he loves you. It was intoxicating, but most of all it was painful and infuriating.

It lasted too long. Jan didn't know what to do anymore. Bojan just kept on crying, he was crying for so long, in fact, it was already dark outside. Jan was afraid that something was going to happen to him if he doesn't do something. And quick. It looked like Bojan wasn't breathing anymore. His broken soul didn't allow him to take a break, even just so he could breathe.

So Jan panicked and before he knew it, he was calling you up. He watched Bojan from the other room as the grip on his phone tightened. He found himself silently begging you to pick up your damn phone and answer him.

And so you did. After the millionth ring and after about two hundred messages later. You picked up the phone.

Jan told you everything. You were crying before he called you and it took everything in your power to not break down while being on the phone call with Bojan's band mate and your friend. You were practically kicking yourself for your decision, but there wasn't much that you could do.

From that day on, Jan tried everything in his power to get you two to at least meet. And for the first time, in a very long time, he succeeded. He managed to convince you to come to their concert.

In the city where you met.

Znaj, bebo, znaj

Celu noć sam plakao zbog tebe

Taj osećaj

Da za mene živo ti se jebe

Ubija me

As Bojan sang the last few chords of the song, he never broke the eye contact. You felt a few tears betraying you as they ran down your cheeks. Before you knew it, you found yourself whispering the words for which you barely found the strength to say.

"Celu noć si plakao zbog mene." You said, practically out of breath. It felt like you were kicked in your stomach as he continued to hold your gaze. You felt more tears as you found yourself repeating the words you just said.

"Celu noć si plakao zbog mene..." You couldn't do this to yourself anymore. You couldn't do this to him anymore. It was too much. The pain and suffering was getting out of hand.

You had to fix this.

#bojan cvjetićanin #joker out #bojan cvjeticanin #bojan cvjeticanin x reader #bojan cvjetićanin x reader #imagine #joker out x reader #eurovision song contest #eurovision 2023 #eurovision #fic #songfic #Spotify

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dreaminofu · 6 months ago

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We always joke a lot but... Idk... I can agree like... "dark eyes, brown hair"... Sure, man. You manifested your broski haha.

And then I even think of that fucking German painting of 1932 as well and I think... What f*cking universe of soulmates are these two involved? Were they so destined to meet each other? 😭😭

Sometimes I feel scared, dude....

That’s where my mind went too, that painting. First, may I just ask everyone to take another look at this

Yeah, we joke a lot, but sometimes… idk coincidences just stop being coincidences when things start piling up. I’m gonna list some stuff here I’ve been thinking about today because I need to get it off my chest

the painting

this ”dark eyes, brown hair” thing

their instant connection, they both have described how they clicked instantly. Jere’s words in Finnish morning TV: ”I immediately felt that there was kind of something there. That there was something between us.”

that embarrassing interview in Madrid when their gazes locked the day after they met + the one where Bojan was very fidgety and held a hand to his chest as if his heart was trying to come out in search of its other half

they shine like the sun itself when they’re together, all the heart-eyes and…asdfgfghhsffgkll

that fucking shoulder touch in Tavastia?? Pls someone find me a reasonable explanation that doesn’t include Bojan seeing all of their previous lives together. I’m listening.

Jere: ”Between us there’s something, that’s why we’re here. I feel it. Something good” and then he points to his heart

Jere doesn’t like it when people comfort him when he’s upset, Bojan is an exception I guess

Jere was literally crying in the bathroom after the esc final because he didn’t know when he’d see Bojan again?? And then Bojan came to him less than a month later???

What even is that ”My fire and water” thing if not some soulmate level insanity??

#sad bojere bitches meeting starting in five #bojere #sad bojere bitches support group #asks

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lunafoster · 1 year ago

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Oh No (part 2)

AN: here’s part twoooo!! Sorry for the long wait, it took me a while to Finnish it because of me being studying most of the time (I’m in the middle of finals, please wish me luck).

Warnings: none I think? Bad English (I’m sorry, I promise I’m trying), A little bit of sexy(?) dancing if you squint really hard; Bojan and his girlfriend being cute; Käärijä being shy and having thoughts about them both (not like that).

Pairings: Bojan Cvjetićanin x fem!actress!reader + a tiny bit of Bojan x Käärijä + a tiny bit of Käärijä x fem!actress!reader

Words: 1500+ (so, funny story, part 1 has 1685 words and this one has 1658 hehe)

Part 1

Anyway, let’s go!

After the… incident with Bojan and meeting his girlfriend, because Jere refused to call it anything else, the Finn had continued to make a fool out of himself that night.

Even though he had been partying with the others, his eyes would always end up wondering back to them dancing together. And, of course, they sometimes caught him staring.

Jere was aware that Bojan was hot; in fact, he had been made aware of that ever since they had met in Madrid. As time went on and they started getting closer, he also found out, to his demise, that he was a great person: funny, caring, kind, charming and talented.

However, what he hadn’t known was that he had a girlfriend, and that she was equally as hot and loveable as him, as he had discovered when he talked to her for a bit. What are the odds, huh.

He gave up trying to party at around 3 am, sitting with Luke in one of the tables and just discreetly watching as the two moved their hips to the beat in their own little world.

The Serbian, who was nursing his fifth drink of the night, watched him carefully and followed his fleeting gaze to Bojan and the girl, slightly smirking when he figured it out.

“Go dance with them,” he told Käärijä with the smuggest look on his face.

“What?” The rapper sputtered, quickly moving his eyes away from the couple, cursing himself when he felt the heat rising towards his cheeks.

“I think they wouldn’t mind, honestly,” Luke pointed to where the two were dancing with his head and took a sip of his drink.

Jere didn’t answer, his gaze shifting to them again and watching as they smiled at each other while dancing. They didn’t look like they wanted company, at all.

He turned back to Luke and awkwardly smiled, trying to get the thoughts of the couple out of his mind. He didn’t want to bother them with his presence in the middle of their- whatever they were doing with the heart eyes.

The Finn was about to tell his companion as much when, out of the corner of his eye, he could make out Alessandra talking to the girl and taking her away from Bojan to dance with her.

Bojan, because of course he would, immediately crossed gazes with him and started walking towards their booth.

“Here comes loverboy!” sung Luke before getting up, mumbling something about another drink.

“Wait-” and he was too far away to hear him, if not for the loud music.

“What’s wrong? Are you not having fun?” was the first thing Bojan asked, getting all close to his ear to be heard over the song that was playing in that moment.

Käärijä felt his warm breath on his face and didn’t know if he could blush any harder. Thank the colourful lights for covering that up for him.

The other man was looking at him waiting for an answer and Jere didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol, but his eyes were glassy. Bojan might be drunk. What do I do? Shit.

“Fun, yes yes,” he replied, breaking off of his stupor and putting on a smile, “and you?”

“Well,” he started, “they stole my girlfriend so I don’t have anyone to dance with now.” He was pouting.

Jere had the sudden urge to bite the other man’s lips, but he sure as hell wasn’t about to go and act on it. What kind of thoughts was he having in the worst moment possible? Stop it!

“I dance with you,” he told him, didn’t know where that idea came from, “if you want?” he added, more as a second thought than anything else.

Bojan smiled and took his hand, dragging him towards where all the dancing bodies were. And they did, dance, drink some more and laugh at each other’s weird moves.

A latin beat came up, Bojan was swaying and he didn’t know if it was from all the drinks he’d had or because of the music, but he was moving towards him and he didn’t know what to do.

“This is sexy song,” he put his hands up, in between himself and Bojan’s chest,” your girlfriend dance with you?”

“She can come dance with us,” he said with a smirk, taking his wrists in both of his hands and slowly lowering them to his sides.

Jere’s breath caught in his throat when he felt the Slovene’s hands on his hips, his eyes widened as he looked up at him, being unable to figure out if it meant anything at all for the other.

Bojan was smiling, drunk enough that he could dance like this with the Finn and not feel shy about it. He looked down and his eyes softened when he saw the slight panic in Jere’s own.

He was about to withdraw from the other and apologise for making him uncomfortable when he felt a pair of familiar hands on his right forearm, slowly removing his hand from the rapper’s hip and letting a body get right in the middle of them, his girlfriend’s back to his chest and her smile directed at Käärijä as she looked up at him.

“Is this okay?” she asked him, looping her arms around the Finn’s neck.

The older male swallowed and gave Bojan a questioning look. Was it really okay? When the other one gave him an encouraging nod, Jere moved his hands to her sides, with his heart beating so loudly he believed everyone else could hear it over the music.

The Finn found himself enjoying the next few songs. Dancing with the other two became fun when all they did was tell weird jokes and laugh at each other’s clumsiness.

It was around 6 am that his eyes started closing and his movements became more lethargic, yawning every now and then due to the tiredness he felt, the events of the day catching up to him.

“Should we get you to your hotel room, Jere?” the girl asked him, a soft smile on her face.

“I go alone,” he answered, not wanting to bother them with having to accompany him, “it’s fine.”

“We were thinking of going to sleep too, so we can totally get you to yours first!” Bojan said, slapping his thighs as he got up.

He couldn’t help but agree. It was true he liked their company, so what if he didn’t refuse? Maybe he wanted to keep talking to them for a little longer while they got to his room.

They said their goodbyes to the people that were still there and headed for the reception of the hotel to get to the lifts, all the while Bojan had an arm around him and the girl had her hand intertwined with his, which he assumed was because they were both a little bit more than tipsy.

When they entered the lift, a silence fell upon them. And Jere started looking anywhere except at them. When he sneaked a glance, Bojan and his girlfriend seemed to be having a conversation with their eyes.

He prided himself for being more sober than them and, in his slightly drunken state, he didn’t mind asking them what was happening. Though, as soon as he opened his mouth, the doors opened to his room’s corridor.

“Did you see Luke asleep on top of Remo?” she said, giggling cutely, or at least it was cute in his ears.

“And Remo’s face was priceless,” Bojan added, “he was like trying to ask for help but with his eyes.”

He couldn’t help but laugh with the other two, and inwardly mourn the loss of their chuckles when he could see the door to his room.

“This my room,” he told them both as he searched for the card in his pockets.

They both nodded and looked at each other before looking back at him.

“We had a great night, Jere!” she stated excitedly, “maybe we could hang out tomorrow?”

“We can go have lunch together or something,” Bojan agreed with her, nodding at him, trying to convince him.

As if he needed convincing.

“Yes yes,” he smiled, opening the door, “we see tomorrow.”

The other two high-fived and whispered little ‘yes’s, then said their goodbyes to Jere.

When he was about to close the door, the girl stopped him and gave him a peck on the cheek and murmured a silent ‘good night’ in Finnish, leaving him flustered with his head outside his room while the two left for their own.

When the couple arrived at their room, they wasted no time in hoping into the shower, both too tired to do anything other than clean each other up and put on their pyjamas.

Bojan sat down on the bed while she removed her make up, looking at her with the most loving eyes she had ever seen.

“What did you think?”

“Of what?” she countered. “The night? Everyone? Or someone in particular?”

“You know what I’m asking,” he sighed, softly laughing to himself. She knew him so well.

“I like him,” she said, then, softly laughing as well, “I see why you told me so much about him.”

She went towards him once she was done with her skincare and straddled him on the bed, pecking his lips once, twice, and smiling with adoration in her eyes.

“Good.” He pushed them both further up the bed and gently settled them down inside the covers, cuddling up to her. “I kinda like him, too.”

They both smiled at each other with their foreheads touching and their legs entwined.

“Good night,” they whispered at the same time, to which they giggled for a while.

“We should really sleep,” she said in between giggles.

“We should,” he agreed, “we’re really drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk,” her eyelids began to fall.

“You are,” he closed his eyes.

Sleep took over them rather quickly that night.

AN2: hope you enjoyed it! If you want any more parts you’ll have to give it some love… this one took more time than I expected it to, but I still liked writing it! Love y’all! <3

Part 3

#bojan cvjeticanin #kaarija #eurovison 2023 #esc #eurovision #esc 2023 #bojan cvjetićanin x fem!reader #bojan cvjetićanin #bojan cvjetićanin x reader #Käärijä x Bojan #Käärijä x reader

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me-sploh-rada-imas · 6 months ago

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(in case tumblr ate it) jance, 17 🥰

yes it seems it did😔 here's what i was going to reply to you haha

tysm for your request jo 💜💜💜 i really enjoyed writing it!

also posted to ao3 here

He may not have known him for very long, but Jan has never seen Nace this nervous before. Yes, he had been shy when they first met (though Jan was shyer), yes he had been on edge before his first gig with them, yes he’d been quiet in the studio while they were recording Carpe Diem. Now, though, he isn’t tense and reticent, as he usually is when he’s anxious. No; he’s pacing up and down in the heavy silence of the RTV’s dressing room wringing his hands, jumping every time any of the others say or do anything, fiddling with the hem of his jacket, smoothing down his hair obsessively. These are nervous tics Jan has never seen from him before and it’s making him restless too. Watching Nace, he is filled with the urge to go over and wrap him in a crushing hug, as though he can leech away all his stress and anticipation with one touch.

Jan is used to taking comfort in Nace’s presence. He knows too that Nace takes comfort in him. They’ve been slowly exploring the something between them for the past few months, unable to hold back despite the knowledge that entering a relationship with a bandmate can get messy. He doesn’t want to rush things, doesn’t want to rock the boat, to overstep a boundary and cause an explosion. But he can’t sit here and watch Nace get more and more wound up with nerves just as they’re meant to go on stage.

Before he’s quite decided what the plan is, Jan suddenly finds himself standing. The other four all turn to face him and he almost shrinks under the combined weight of their attention, but he’s desperate for a moment alone with Nace, so he steels himself and gestures vaguely at Bojan, Kris, and Jure.

“You three, out,” he says abruptly, not quite able to make eye contact with any of them. He expects some kind of resistance, perhaps from Bojan, but they all obey him without a word, and he watches them leave in his peripheral vision from where he’s looking at the floor. There are a few brief moments after the door swings closed behind Kris in which neither Jan nor Nace say anything, and then Jan turns around.

Nace looks somehow even more nervous now it’s just the two of them; he’s holding onto the back of the chair next to him as though he might fall over without its support. At the sight of him, Jan no longer has any qualms about what is needed and he crosses the floor without a word to gather Nace into his arms. Nace relaxes into him immediately, holding him tightly back, tipping his head down so his forehead is resting on Jan’s shoulder. They stand like this for several minutes, impossibly close and yet not close enough. Jan hopes that Nace is as calmed and reassured by the contact, by Jan’s warmth and familiar smell, as Jan is by him. He only loosens his grip when Nace stops shaking and steps back far enough that they can see each other’s faces, though he keeps his arms slung around Nace’s neck so he can’t pull too far away.

“Want to talk about it?”

Nace opens his mouth to answer but can’t find the words. Jan doesn’t interrupt, just gives Nace time to formulate what he’s trying to say. It takes a few long minutes, but eventually Nace is able to articulate himself. “It’s the first project I’ve worked on with you guys,” he says slowly, eyes downcast. “What if the fans don’t like my influence on your sound? What if they don’t think I fit your image?”

Jan leans in and bumps his forehead reassuringly against Nace’s. “Fuck the fans,” he says lowly, and it startles a laugh out of Nace. The sound makes something twist in Jan’s stomach. He loves hearing Nace laugh, loves the way he has so much joy to share and isn’t afraid of expressing it. “I mean it,” he repeats. “We like the way you create with us, we love this song. If our current fans don’t like it or don’t like you, then fuck them; we’ll make plenty of new fans through Eurovision.”

Neither of them are as ambitious as Bojan and Kris are regarding fame or global exposure, but they all decided to go on this journey knowing that was the plan. Jan’s always been in it for the music; the unparalleled joy of creating music, those magical moments on stage when he becomes the music. But he can’t let Nace be afraid of their Eurovision journey before it’s even started.

Nace is still anxious and Jan can tell. He wants to address the other question Nace had posed, to reassure him, but now it’s his turn to be tongue tied and nervous. He wants to tell Nace how attractive he is, how his smile makes Jan’s heart skip a beat, that he wants to map Nace’s skin with his tongue and teeth, that he’s desperate to learn how to take him apart with just a few touches. But they’re taking it slow, trying not to rush into things, even though Jan knows his traitorous heart isn’t listening to reason.

So he does the only thing he can to ensure his tongue won’t betray his feelings; he steps back into Nace’s personal space and kisses him fiercely.

No matter how many times they kiss, Jan knows he will never tire of it. His entire universe at this moment is the heat of Nace’s mouth, the taste of him, the way he’s threading his fingers through Jan’s hair and sliding a hand down his back to pull him closer. Nace is pliant under Jan’s hands and tongue, willing to cede all control and let Jan do what he wants to him, and what Jan wants is to take him apart, to make him forget all traces of his nervousness for their upcoming performance. But they’re in their shared dressing room, where their bandmates or frankly anyone else could walk in, and as desperately as he wants to let go of all his inhibitions, he knows that would be far too reckless, and so, reluctantly, he pulls away. They’re both panting and a little unsteady on their feet, and Jan opens his eyes to take in Nace’s flushed cheeks and kiss-bruised lips. Willpower alone stops him from leaning back in to finish what they’ve started, and he can see clearly in Nace’s face the same desire.

“Was that a good enough distraction?” Jan asks, his voice unexpectedly husky.

“It wasn’t bad,” Nace admits breathlessly, and Jan can hear the smile in his voice. After a few long moments, Nace releases his tight grip on Jan’s shirt and steps back far enough that they can see themselves in the mirror. All Jan can think is that they’re lucky they haven’t gone to hair and make-up yet; they’re both so dishevelled that it’s obvious what they’ve been up to even without any telltale traces of smudged foundation. Nace reaches up to smooth down Jan’s hair again, and Jan leans instinctively into his touch. “I think we’ve got a different problem now,” Nace says wryly, and Jan is inclined to agree. Bojan, Kris, and Jure will surely be back any moment now and they’ll be sent off to hair and make-up; they can only hope their racing hearts will have time to slow before they’re called on stage.

#joker out #nace jordan #jan peteh #jance #mine #kiss prompts #love making jance make out in inappropriate places and then feel mildly embarassed about it #btw might take longer to write the others as i will be busy next week but feel free to send more if anyone wants :)

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electron-road-suspect · 9 months ago

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Bojere 30 :)

Could take place in my universe or not.

30. …as comfort.

This isn't the first time they've sneaked away from their responsibilities together. They've skipped interviews, press events, even meetings with their own delegations, and stolen time together. It isn't like it's a secret. They broadcast one of their stolen moments on Instagram Live, for God's sake.

But this is the first time they've sneaked away together at night.

They're in Bojan's hotel room, where they made their way, by silent consent, after they finished the jury show and met each other backstage, their tired eyes finding each other and saying everything their mouths could not.

Once in the room, Bojan is antsy, out of sorts. He doesn't know what to do with his hands, his body. Honestly, he hadn't planned much beyond "get Jere here", unwilling to let the Finn out of his sight now that they are less than 36 hours away from saying goodbye. But now that they're here, together, all he can think about is the stupid idiotic pointless contest.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asks instead, his voice creaking. "Water, tea?" Jere shakes his head.

"No, thank you, Bojan," Jere replies, and at the sound of his name, Bojan startles into movement, wrapping his arms around Jere and burying his face in his hair.

Jere's arms come up around him, and it feels as good as it did the first time, and Bojan knows he's only making things worse for himself, but he can't stop from relaxing into his arms.

When Jere's head raises and their lips meet, it feels like a life raft, a beacon in the desert, and Bojan grabs hold of it as tightly as he can.

They break apart

"I am tired," Jere says, his voice trembling with the weight of Finland's hopes and dreams on his shoulders. "Can I stay? Tonight?"

Bojan kisses him again, sharing the warmth and comfort of their bodies together. "Yes," he replies.

#joker out #fanfic #käärijä #bojan cvjetićanin #jere pöyhönen #kiss ask game

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itskrejsaitsparty · 8 months ago

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!!! Gig Report Leipzig !!!

- Queue was very chill. We arrived at 4pm-ish and were 18 & 19 EA, so all good. While we were waiting for the doors to open Jan walked by, staring at his phone in confusion and vanishing behind a building. We were all a little worried if he was gonna find back to the venue ngl

- Met so many amazing people!!!! Everyone was so so so sweet and respectful oh my god I love you guys so much

- EA was so cute. Bojan explained the sound system to us. Kris walked out like a member of the royalty holding a tiny cup. The played ASTP & uhhhhh Omameljeno telo I think (?) blacked out a little there

EDIT: It was ASTP & Proti toku! thanks @mogoce-nocoj <3333

- Kris and Jure vanished immediately after, Jan, Nace & Bojan came down and took a few photos and gave a few autographs!!

- Sector5 & JC Stewart were really fun!!!

- I think from second one everybody in the room knew it was gonna be an amazing concert. The energy from the crowd (although NOT sold out, half of the room was empty basically) was INSANE and I think they really caught onto that.

- The mesh shirt was back

- Jure Eyeliner???? + THE sweater??

- Nace played a bass solo……the man is insanely talented…fr I was fucking changed

- Someone from the crowd shouted „Can you play *this song*?“ (didn’t catch what they said) and Bojan was like. „No. (Pause) Can you play rugby????…….just wanted to know.“ He is so silly istg. And really knows how to deal with comments lol

- Vse Kar Vem changed my life watered my crops etc. as always

- Bojan took a BIG walk around the audience during UM and let a lot of people sing. Jumped back out onto the stage right next to us. Ahhhhh. What the fuck

- During Metulji, Bojan propped up a painting of himself on Jan's piano to get Jan „in the mood“. Jan gave it a little kiss. During the first verse (?) the painting fell down with like. Perfect comedic timing. Bojan put it back up again and acted super heartbroken but then he could NOT stop giggling and neither could the crowd. It was so fucking funny

- Afterwards we got some pictures with the boys and talked. Jan Nace & Jure took their time, Bojan is getting sick again I think (no one is surprised) and really wanted to sleep and Kris went straight into the bus

- Oh yeah and Damon Baker was also there and spilled some tea hahahahah. An icon. Bless him

#joker out #joker out leipzig

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anxious-witch · 11 months ago

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Bojere + lifting the other up so they can reach and decorate? 🤭

So I combined this and @c28hunter 's request because they just fit so perfectly together, I hope you don't mind. This also goes for another anon who requested bojere and mistletoe (I am seeing a pattern 😂)

Decorating the house was a nice idea in theory. In practice, it required a lot of effort. And patience. He was grumbling about And-

There was a loud crash and Bojan's heart jumped to his throat as he rushed towards the living room.

There was a string of swearing in Finnish as Bojan got closer. He found Jere on the floor, tangled in Christmas lights, clearly having fallen off the chair. Despite his worry, seeing his boyfriend in his ugly Christmas sweater, tangled up in the lights, he couldn't help but laugh.

He doubled over laughing, even more when Jere glared at him and tried to flip him off, only to get even more tangled up in the lights.

“Bojan! You-so unhelpful! Stop, help me!”

But even as he said it, Bojan saw the corner of Jere's mouth pulling up, as if he was fighting a smile, too.

“Alright, alright. Let's get you out of that.”

He gently untangled the lights from him and out them aside.

“How did you even manage to do that?”

Jere scowled.

“You try to put it all around the high tree without falling and getting tangled up in it.”

Bojan couldn't help but burst out laughing again. The mental image of Jere flailing as he fell down with the Christmas lights bringing him down was too funny.

Jere's scowl deepened. Bojan saw the gears turning in his head and he reached the same conclusion of what Jere would do just as Jere decided on what to do.

Attempt to tackle him.

Bojan had a second to scurry back and run towards the door. Jere chased after him, cackling. Unfortunately for Bojan, Jere was a hockey player and he knew how to tackle someone. So he had to think fast.

He grabbed the mistletoe from the doorway and ripped it away, before stopping dead in his tracks and holding it over his head.

Jere stopped too, looking at him strangely.

“What are you doing?”

“You can't tackle me while I am holding a mistletoe. You can just kiss me.”

Jere started laughing and crossed the last few steps between them. He cupped his cheek and for a moment, Bojan got lost in his blue eyes, just like he did the first time.

“Clever Jokerman. Yes, I will kiss you.”

And so he did. He kissed him slowly, like he was trying to memorize him. He tasted of gingerbread cookies they made earlier and Bojan pulled him closer.

Jere gently bit on his lip and that distracted him enough to forget about the mistletoe and drop it. On top of their heads.

They both pulled back and Jere watched the sad little mistletoe that was now on the floor.

“Can I tackle you now?”

“No!”

They shared a glance and burst out laughing. Bojan thought the aspect of their relationship where they could laugh over anything would fade over time, but it didn't, staying as joyful as the first day they met.

“Com'on, let me help you decorate that tree. And hopefully prevent any more accidents.”

Jere nodded, so they made their way back to the tree. They successfully put up the lights this time and began putting up the other decorations. Everything went well up until they had to put the star on top of the tree.

“Shit. I should have asked one of the others to put that up for us,” Bojan muttered, staring at the suddenly very high tree.

“You can lift me! Bojan strong!”

Bojan had a feeling this could go terribly wrong. Yet, what choice did they have? They couldn't simply leave the tree without the star on top.

“Alright. But be careful. And don't squirm too much, I don't want to drop you.”

“Okei, okei.”

So Jere grabbed the star and Bojan lifted him-and thanked god his boyfriend was so tiny-so he could reach the top of the tree.

They managed fine up until Jere actually put the star on the tree and cheered, punching the air with his fist.

Which, of course, made Bojan lose the precarious balance and sent them both toppling over backwards.

Jere fell on top of him with a yelp and Bojan groaned in pain. He was never decorating a tree without someone tall again.

“I did tackle you in the end.”.

“If I broke something, you will be the one explaining why I can't come to the practice.”

Jere giggled and gave him a peck to the lips.

“I kiss it better, yes? So nothing hurts.”

Bojan hummed.

“I suppose that can be arranged.”

So Jere kissed him and, alright. Perhaps decorating wasn't so bad, after all. But they were definitely asking someone tall to put the star on top next year.

And putting more mistletoes. Definitely more mistletoes.

#my writings #holiday prompts #bojere #bojan cvjetićanin #käärijä

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calmasyoghurt · 5 months ago

Text

The joker out pride project.

Time to see some drag queens. Also on ao3.

June 20th, promt 23. Drag show/gay bar.

👩🏻‍🎤Joker out🃏

Thursday, 22.27

Jan🧮

hey i just saw that theyre hosting a drag event next friday

whos in?

Kris🎸

Who are ‘they’?

Bojan🎤

Oh sounds fuun i’m in😍👸🏼

Baby i think it’s at the gay bar since that would make most sense

Jan🧮

yeah exactly at the gay bar

doors open ten and drag starts at eleven

Kris🎸

Okay, sounds fun. Guess I’m in too.

You

Ooooo, yeah count me in as well

Nace🐢

I’ll come too, I’ve never been to a drag show before

***

The line to the bar is longer than usual. It’s not weird that it is, tonight is the first drag event since before covid. It's the first time since covid that Jure is here, too.

He vividly remembers the last time he was here. How a man had made him uncomfortable and how Jan had helped him get away from him. He had met Bojan and Kris too. They had been terrible at hiding their relationship that night, but tonight they look like they're actually trying.

Neither of Kris' arms are wrapped around Bojan's shoulders, they're not even holding hands. It's probably for the best. They've been very clear about not wanting to come out publicly, at least not yet. Holding another guy's hand outside a gay bar might not be the best way to hide the fact that you like guys.

Somehow, the band had managed to arrive at the bar early. Nace had even driven all the way out to Vrhnika to pick Jan up so that he wouldn't be able to come late. This had resulted in the five of them entering the bar amongst the first, getting them a table not too far from the stage. It’s still a long time until the drag show begins, but Kris has brought along a deck of uno card to pass the time. The first round goes by quite calmly, but then Bojan takes a shot and for some reason it makes him better at playing. Or maybe it makes him better at cheating. Either way, he wins three rounds in a row before he’s stopped by the first drag queen is presented.

It’s a good show. It’s a really good show. They’ve managed to get three queens to perform, and they all seem ready for a show. The first one is probably the most frequent performer at this bar, and does some incredible lip syncing. After her comes a queen that says it’s her first time performing in front of an audience, and then she gets the entire bar to dance along to ‘Time Warp’. Last out is a drag queen all the way from England, and she shows of some amazing dance moves.

The band stays for another thirty minutes after the show is over, but when that last shot has made Bojan go from an unbeatable uno master to a sleepy, adult sized kid, it’s decided that it’s time to leave. Kris’ apartment isn’t too far away, so he leaves with an arm in a steady grip around Bojan. Nace, who hasn’t had anything to drink, offers Jure and Jan a ride home. Once in the car, Jure starts scrolling through his phone. In the front passenger seat, Jan is leaning his head against the window. He looks like he might be asleep, but he starts speaking in a low voice.

“Nacko? Can’t I sleep at your place? Your bed is probably so warm and fluffy”. Jure looks up, and through the rear view mirror he can see Nace rolling his eyes.

“And you have turtles. I can become their friend and then we can be slow and careless together”, Jan continues. This makes Nace huff out a little laugh.

“Sure Jan, you can sleep at my place” Nace says as he turns the car on to Jure’s road. Jure leaves the car and is just about to close the door when he hears Jan speak again. It’s so quiet that he almost doesn’t hear it, but it must have been another question, because Nace clearly whispers ‘yeah’ as an answer. It’s not until he enters the elevator in his building that Jure can fully process it. It definitely sounded as if Jan had said “will you kiss me goodnight?”.

#jure maček #jan peteh #nace jordan #kris guštin #bojan cvjetićanin #joker out #jo pride project

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gardeningintensifies · 3 days ago

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I don't like Stephanie.

There, I said it.

And it's not me being a deluded bokris shipper this time, unfortunately the problem here runs much deeper.

Let me explain...I'm convinced music can enhance and elevate even the most mundane and insignificant stories, make them universal and trascendental so that even a single word is capable of breaking your heart into a million pieces.

But the lyrics have to be written in a certain way, add a layer of mystery and intrigue and remain somewhat vague...enough for the listener to FEEL what the singer is singing about as his/her own experience.

And Stephanie...the lyrics are very basic, the images are all very...cheap: guy in a pub drinking, sees a cute girl, maybe they speak for 5 minutes, he falls in love because he's 12 yo and drunk, her friend starts throwing up and then she goes away to some random country...so he proceeds to sulk and be overdramatic for the rest of the song. Wow. I'm not impressed.

And I do get love at first sight, but also I don't ..you cannot say you met and lost the love of your life in such ridiculous circumstances and expect me to feel sorry for you!

Also...the ending with the "Happiness ain’t real for people like me, and love ain’t real for people like me".

Not considering the very queer implications that such lyrics do have (as directly mentioned to bojan himself on IG), for them to really resonate to a wider audience and to mean something you have to build a story around them, not just throw them at us after the most bland pseudo-romantic encounter!

On this very same concept I suggest you to listen to "I know it's over" by the Smiths... I may have spent several nights crying while listening to this song in 2007. Thank me later.

Love is natural and real

But not for you, my love

Not tonight, my love

Love is natural and real

But not for such as you and I, my love

One last comment about the singing...I feel like Žare Is possessing me, but can bojan stop impersonating any cool British singer he likes when he sings in English? And stop making that fake accent?! I seriously had to stop listening the first time because i was cringing too much...

((literally the only English song I love Is Schlager (and partially Everybody's waiting, which is at least musically interesting)...if they didn't include it in the album JFC)

Tldr: I'm very disappointed with JO last single and I fear they should stick to Slovenian and Serbian to stop wasting good tunes over bland lyrics and unimpressive singing

#I say all this while loving Bojan #he's always been my favourite that's why it hurts #joker out #stephanie

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frikatilhi · 4 months ago

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I'll never stop overthinking Bojan's clothing choices and I find it kinda symbolic how he picked a shirt with a giant sun motif for Exit festival. You know, the first concert after coming from Finland. Where sun never sets down. Where he had THE party of the summer. Where he met Jere with enhanced looks 🌞

In the past I've always drawn the line at "they are sending messages to each other through clothing!" but since the boxers and kostopitsi and Bojan wearing Jere's shirt in Logomo and the Ptuj outfit I'm ready not to put ANYTHING past Bojan.

That shirt was so pretty tho

#ask

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theraggedygirl11 · 7 months ago

Text

Love’s the death of peace of mind

Kris' POV

Bojan's POV: AO3 - Tumblr

SUMMARY: In a world where Heaven and Hell exist, angels and demons are constantly fighting and killing one another. What if a stoic and cold angel starts questioning his whole existence after he met a demon who he was supposed to kill as Heaven demands?

PAIRING: Bojan Cvjetićanin/Kris Guštin

WARNINGS: swearing, blood, implied violence, hurt/comfort, emotional rollercoaster, enemies to lovers, implied suicide, hint of jance in the background

WORDS COUNT: 5.954

LINK: AO3

NOTES: Hello! I didn't plan this fic, honestly. It all started from this anon ask and now here I am with almost a 6k pov. This was a bit of a challenge, since I never wrote from Kris' pov, but I think it came out quite good.

I was also extremely shocked because I didn't expect Bojan's pov to blow up (and to get also a fanart from @sparkles-oflight), but in a positive way! I loved every comment I received 🥹 thank you so, so much!

As always, thanks to my beta @anxious-witch! And also thanks to @arctixout for her gifs. Without that post this fic wouldn't exist.

“Y-you were right about him. He-he’s a heartless angel, just like anyone else of them.”

“Not every angel is heartless.”

“He is, Nace! He is! I showed him my love and he accused me of trying to corrupt him! I-I gave him my whole heart and he laughed at me, he stabbed it with his ice dagger and killed me- H-He called me a filthy demon, Nace. After all I did for him and showed him, I-I’m still a filthy demon to him.”

Humans always forget that angels are supposed to be warriors of Heaven, not peaceful winged creatures with a harp in their hands.

We do have wings, yes, but we also have great powers, and they get stronger and stronger as the celestial rank goes up. As soon as we are able to walk straight and run, we start our training to become soldiers of Heaven. The training is different for every rank.

I’m a seraph, the highest angelic rank. I was born from two seraphim, thus I can say I’m discreetly powerful. I’m also a general.

One of our tasks is to hunt down demons who run freely on Earth, among humans. It’s our duty to protect human souls from corruption and temptation.

This is how I met a demon, a weird one. I identified him, followed him and attacked him with the intent to kill him, just like I was taught. My dagger was about to sink into his throat, but I stopped when my eyes met his. My whole body froze, I even stopped breathing for a couple of seconds. His eyes were deep, filled with fear and…what seemed to be surprise. His glance was so intense.

We stared at each other for what felt like a very long minute, then I recoiled and disappeared with a quick flutter of my wings, invisible at the time.

Why did I stop? Why didn’t I kill him? My heart was racing in my chest and I had no answers to my questions.

I obviously didn’t mention this event to anyone, not even to my loyal angelic friends. They would mock me for not killing a low rank demon. No, forgetting this event was the best option.

* * *

I’m an angel, but this doesn’t interdict me from having some “guilty pleasures”. In my case, it’s music. I like playing the guitar with Jan and Martin, two cherubim and friends of mine. Sometimes we also attend concerts in the human world, like tonight.

“Will Jan ever be on time?” I sigh.

I’ve been walking in circles for at least half an hour, but Jan is nowhere to be seen. I’m starting to get a little bit pissed.

“Calm down, Kris,” Martin says, looking at me. “He’ll arrive. I give him ten minutes. We won’t miss that band, don’t worry.”

I’m about to reply to Martin’s words, when we see an angel running towards us, dressed in black and with long hair.

“Guys! I’m here!”

I take a deep breath, then quickly glance at Martin. “Finally. We can go, then,” I say, giving Jan a displeased look.

We fly to our destination and in a few minutes we are in the middle of the crowd. I start singing and dancing along with the music letting it flow over me, sometimes I even close my eyes. In my opinion, music is the supreme and purest form of art. It doesn’t matter the language you speak or the language the song was written in, if you listen to the melody, you can enjoy every type of music.

When I open my eyes again, I meet a weirdly familiar gaze coming from two deep brown eyes. I pale when I recognise the owner of those eyes.

That demon.

My heart is racing in my chest just like the first time we met, my whole body is frozen. He’s here too. He likes music just like I do. A demon, a creature from Hell, a filthy being appreciates something so celestial like music. I don’t understand. Why? It’s not supposed to be like this. They are…barbaric creatures, dominated by violent emotions.

I see two male figures standing by the demon’s side, a tall guy with a tattooed arm and a slightly shorter one with messy blond hair and thick black make-up around his eyes. The tattooed man places a hand on the demon’s shoulder. They must be his demonic friends.

Three demons enjoying music.

“Is everything ok?” Jan asks, getting closer to me. He then moves his eyes to find the reason for such a reaction on my part. “Demons,” he hisses.

Martin appears by my side a second after. We are all trained to deal with demons, we are ready to attack them, and maybe even kill them. Jan steps towards them, but my arm moves without my control and stops him. Jan glances at me, confused, but since I’m a higher rank than him, he withdraws, stepping back.

I observe the three demons. The blond one grabs the brown-haired one and pulls him away, meddling with the crowd around us. I try to follow them with my eyes, but there are too many people. I lost my demon.

“Excuse me, Kris, but what was that? What just happened?”

We are back in Heaven, in my quarters. I’m still pale, I saw my face in a mirror next to the entrance door. And I’m unwell too. That meeting messed up my mind in a way I couldn’t believe possible.

“Kris,” Jan calls me again. “What was that?” He spells word after word, this time his voice is harsher, more like an order than a simple question.

“We saw three demons at that concert,” I reply, taking a deep breath to try to regain some control over my body and my mind.

“No shit, Sherlock. We know they were demons. Why did you freeze like a greenhorn?”

“Jan, calm down,” Martin tries to mediate between me and Jan.

“No, don’t tell me to calm down! Kris, what’s going on? You are one of the best seraphim in Heaven. What happened there?”

I glance at Jan, then divert my eyes from him. “I have already met that demon, but I couldn’t kill him. I don’t know why.”

I feel Jan’s and Martin’s eyes on me. Their confusion is almost tangible.

“You…couldn’t kill him?”

“No, Jan, I couldn’t!” I shout back at him, looking him right in the eyes. “Are you happy now? A seraph failed to kill a squalid demon!”

Both Jan and Martin exchange a quick glance. They seem worried in my eyes. Well, they should be. A seraph that isn’t able to kill a demon for whatever reason is concerning.

“How much time ago did this happen?” Asks Martin, his voice is calmer and quieter.

“I don’t remember. Recently, maybe some months.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because of Jan’s reaction,” and I point at him with the movement of my head. “Because I’m supposed to be better than letting a demon go,” I sigh and sit down on a couch in the living room. “I have no idea why I haven’t killed him. It just happened. I met his eyes while I was about to stab him and…something in them made me stop,” I run a hand through my hair. “They were different from the demons I killed. I felt like I had a puppy in front of me.”

“A puppy?” Jan asks.

“Yes, a puppy! He looked like a terrified puppy.”

Jan chuckles. “I’m sorry, Kris, but hearing this description of a demon coming from your mouth wasn’t on my celestial bingo card. Maybe he managed to melt your ice cold heart,” he teases me.

I roll my eyes, then shake my head. “Listen, this story ends here, ok? No one needs to know this. No one.”

“Ok, we won’t tell anyone, don’t worry,” Martin nods, followed by Jan.

It’s reassuring on one hand. On the other hand, though, I feel even more confused now. Why is this demon so special? Why does he have such a power over me? What does he hide behind those eyes of his? Did demons develop a new way of corrupting us angels, of getting inside our heads and messing with us?

My head is exploding with all these questions. And the more I think about an answer, the more questions pop up in my mind. Maybe I should follow him to discover what happened to me.

In the next weeks I keep an eye on that demon, when I catch him roaming on Earth from Heaven. I always find him staring at the sky, searching for something, maybe even me.

I don't understand him. Why is he looking for me? We are enemies, I tried to kill him, shouldn't he be scared of me? Is he this dumb?

One night, I decide to follow him not from Heaven, but directly on Earth. I need to understand why he's behaving like this.

I follow his steps until he lays on the ground in the middle of a grass patch in a woodland. He’s staring at the starry sky. I let a few minutes pass, then I slowly approach him. He seems relaxed, his defences are down, I could easily kill him, but…I want to talk to him instead, to understand why he’s like this.

I lean forward, covering his view with my head.

“What are you doing here all alone?” I ask him.

I observe his reaction: he startles, then stands up and steps back, he seems ready to run away from me. His eyes are wide open, there’s fear in them. Ok, this is a more appropriate reaction from his part. My lips bent in an amused and satisfied smile.

“Angel,” I hear him whisper.

He’s staring at me, I feel the weight of his eyes on me. He doesn’t seem scared anymore, or at least fear is slowly disappearing in him. Yeah, he’s definitely stupid. Why isn’t he scared? His boldness and stupidity confuse me. I must be aware of what he does, I don’t trust him.

I move my hands behind my back, then I adjust my position, sticking my chest out, trying to give myself an intimidating stance.

“I repeat, since you seem to not understand my words, what are you doing here all alone?” I ask again, since I’m not receiving any answer for my previous question.

The demon takes a few seconds before answering. “I was looking for you.”

“For me?” I raise my eyebrows. I wasn’t expecting this, to be honest.

“Yes, for you. I wanted to talk to you, angel.”

I keep staring at him, confused. He must be truly dumb and with zero survival instincts. Well, I guess not every demon gets a bright mind, in the end. I probably should kill him, so he can stop making dumb decisions.

I’m about to unsheathe my dagger, but the demon starts moving towards me in that exact moment. He raises his hands in front of him, showing them to me.

“I’m not armed. You can check on me. This is not a trap.”

I don’t take my eyes off of him. I can feel my powers creeping under my skin, some sparks leave my palms. I’m ready to strike at the mere danger signal from the demon. My whole body is stiff. My jaws are locked. I don’t feel at ease with a demon in front of me, especially this demon, because I’m not able to see through him.

My attention is caught by his hand, which slowly moves towards my face. Suddenly, it stops a few centimetres away from my cheek, hesitant. My eyes run from his hand to his face. He seems blissed by my presence.

“Why do you want to talk to me, exactly?”

“I…I want to know you, angel.”

I’m astonished. It can’t be real. This must be a trap, no demon is so stupid to risk his life to simply talk to an angel.

“I beg your pardon, you want to know…me?”

“Yes,” he nods too. “You are amazingly beautiful, angel.”

Heat reaches my cheeks. Ok, that was smooth, I must admit it. The demon chuckles, I let slip a shy smile. It’s difficult to resist, his small laugh made him look cute-Kris, for god’s sake, you can’t think this of a demon! You are a freaking seraph! But…his eyes are so sweet, he doesn’t look like a cruel being from the depth of Hell. I bet he isn’t even able to corrupt a single human soul.

“Would you like to…I don’t know, come grab a coffee or anything else to drink?”

“It’s a nice idea,” I reply. “You seem more used to the human world, so show me the way to your favourite place to…drink,” I continue. “Please,” I quickly add. The previous sentence looked too much like an order.

The demon’s smile is even bigger this time, I’m afraid it will break his face. But at the same time it warms my heart too. He seems really happy that I accepted his invitation.

“With pleasure, my lovely angel!”

The demon has a name. It’s Bojan, but he prefers being called Bojči, just because it sounds cuter and sweeter. I concur with him, but I still call him by his full name. Bojči sounds too intimate for me, and I don’t want to get too close to him. He remains a creature from Hell.

After all, spending time with him is pleasant. I’m still confused because he doesn’t follow the classic image of a demon we are taught to fight and despise. First of all, he loves music. We talk a lot about it, sometimes we even attend concerts together during our time together. He’s full of energy, it’s impossible to at least not smile when you see him jumping around because music got to him. Every time I see his eyes and his shining smile, my chest warms so much.

Bojan always tries his best to make our time spent together the best. He plans trips in various cities around the world, or simple strolls in the middle of nature. These last ones are my favourite because we are alone, far away from mortals, in quiet places.

I feel his eyes on me, but I attempt to ignore them. Sometimes I glance at him, our eyes meet and I see only happiness in him. The fear he felt that night on that field disappeared long ago. This is so wrong. He shouldn’t be this happy to be with me. And I shouldn’t be so excited to see him.

What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Is this…corruption? Is this how Lucifer felt when he fell from the sky? I’m an angel, I shouldn’t behave like this, not with a demon.

I accept to meet him again one more time, only because I want…I want to…what do I want from him? I’m so confused, I don’t know anything anymore. This must be corruption. I can’t think straight, a thick fog prevents my mind from creating consistent thoughts. A general who cannot control his mind is useless.

I still dress and prepare for the “date”, as Bojan likes to call our meetings. I’m wearing clothes with light colours, just to show from which reign I’m from, an attempt to bring distance between me and the demon.

He told me the location where we are supposed to meet. Thus I appear in that place, my wings announcing my arrival to whoever may live in that small apartment.

I barely have the time to look around when Bojan runs in the room. I’m stunned. He’s wearing black skinny clothes that shape his body wonderfully. My eyes land on his broad shoulders, then on his muscular thighs. He’s tempting, he’s for sure playing with me, tricking me.

“You are stunning, ljubavi.”

“You…too, Bojan,” I can barely speak.

My attention gets caught by two other figures entering the room. His demon friends are there too, the blond one and the tattooed one. I stiff my body, pushing out my chest as I try to look taller than I already am.

“Oh, yeah, these are my dearest friends. This is Jure,” he points to the blond demon. “And this is Nace,” and then to the tattooed demon. “They are safe, they won’t hurt you. I ask you to do the same.”

“...fine,” I surrender not so willingly. My eyes go back to Bojan and I notice that there’s something black and with glitter on his face. “You put on makeup.”

“Yes, just for you. Do you like it?”

“You…look good,” I admit, my voice is trembling a bit. He looks even more beautiful with that dark makeup on his eyes.

He grabs my hand and smiles at me. “I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”

Bojan pulls me and I do as he said, a little bit scared of what kind of surprise he might have for me. He makes me sit on something cold and hard. I touch that surface with one hand, it feels like plastic.

“What are you trying to do, little demon?”

“I told you, it’s a surprise.”

I hear him handle something, then he sits on my lap, making me stiffen. Something soft touches my eyelid, I immediately feel something on my skin. What is he doing? I could open my eyes, but something inside of me prevents me from doing it. He stands up, then speaks again.

“You are otherworldly, ljubavi. Open your eyes.”

A little bit hesitant, I open my eyes and look at my reflection in the mirror. He put makeup on me too. Golden makeup around my eyes, to be precise. I…I like it. It’s weirdly good on me. I stand up, get closer to the mirror to admire his work.

“Gold is your colour. It suits you perfectly.”

“I-It does,” I whisper, my voice barely audible.

He always knows exactly what to do to make me feel special, even loved dare I say. It’s surreal. A gentle kiss on the cheek brings me back to reality. I turn and see Bojan's smiling face. He's shining like never before. His eyes are dark and remind me of the black hole at the centre of this galaxy. The glittery makeup represents the stars that move in circles around that core of pure darkness, but his eyes reflect all the light instead of devouring it.

“We can go, then. I have other surprises for you, my angel.”

Our “date” begins: Bojan takes me to my favourite human restaurant. He lets me order whatever I want, adding that I don’t have to worry about the bill. It’s not the first time that he pays for me, but this time it feels…strange. I’m nervous by all the charm he’s displaying tonight, the elegance in his clothes, the makeup, his smiles bigger than usual. What did he plan to do? Should I be worried? I’m so deep into my own train of thoughts that often I forget to reply to Bojan.

“Is everything ok, ljubavi?”

I fall back into reality. “Yeah, sure, don't worry. I…had a rough day in Heaven, that's all,” I say the first thing that hits my mind.

Bojan grabs my hand with extreme gentleness, then starts caressing its back. His smile could melt a gigantic iceberg.

“Now it's time for you to relax, then. Enjoy this night out.”

I meet his eyes. I immediately feel more relaxed, more at ease. How…? Is he naturally like this or is he using some kind of dark demonic magic to make me lower my defences? I don’t understand.

We continue our dinner and once it’s finished we go for a walk around the city. Bojan grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers. A shiver runs down my spine, but I decide to ignore it.

We walk and walk until we reach a tall building. Bojan takes me to the top of it. We are alone here. I look around me, there’s nothing strange or even remotely dangerous.

“Why did you bring me here?” I ask.

Suddenly, so many candles appear all around us, following the verge of the roof. A soft melody starts playing out of thin air. I look at my demon, confused. He’s offering me his hand.

“Would you like to dance with me, Kris?”

Ok, he just wants to dance. We did it a couple of times, I guess we can do it again.

Thus, I take his hand, a little bit hesitant, then we begin dancing along with the music. I’m a terrible dancer, Bojan is far better than me, so I focus on his steps and movements and try to repeat them, following him.

“Just let the music flow over you. Hear it inside of you and allow it to take control over your body,” he suggests to me, whispering with an extremely tender voice, which makes me shiver.

I take a deep breath, then follow Bojan’s suggestion. The music is slow and sweet, it allows us, and especially me, to dance quite well, even if we both aren’t expert dancers. The demon’s movements are more fluid, he’s more used to letting himself go, my posture is more rigid, it’s the one of a soldier. We stare into each other’s eyes the whole time.

What am I doing here? Why am I here? Why am I with a demon? I am not this. I’m a fucking seraph! I should kill demons, not frolic with one of them! I keep asking myself these questions, but I’m never able to find an answer.

I leave his hands and step back. I notice concern and confusion in the demon’s eyes.

“We can’t go on doing this, Bojan.”

“Why not? I don’t understand.”

“Because we can’t! You are a demon, and I’m an angel. We are not supposed to…mingle.”

“We are not mingling, ljubavi. This is a romantic date between two creatures who have feelings for each other.”

He gets closer and tales my hands kindly. Our eyes meet again. The confusion in them became something else, but I can’t name it. I’m not good with feelings. Does it seem like betrayal?

“Kris, I'm not the monster Heaven teaches you to despise. You saw me, you got to know me.”

“You are still a demon, Bojan, no matter how you behave or what you do.”

“And so? What does it change between us?”

“I'm a freaking angel! We are supposed to fight each other, not…doing this, dancing alone like two teenagers in love!”

“Only because we are not human teenagers? Because we come from two different places? Because others tell us that we should hate each other?” He clutches my hands between his,a spark of fear appears in my chest. “You know me,” Bojan brings one of my hands right to his chest.. “This heart is yours, ljubavi, and no one else’s.”

“Bojan, this is wrong.”

“Kris, I love you. What's wrong with that?” He stops talking for a few seconds. “You…don't love me?”

“No, Bojan. I don’t love you. Let’s stop pretending.”

I won’t admit it, but seeing Bojan’s reaction made me feel bad. Extremely bad. He’s visibly devastated by what I just said. I’m clearly influenced by his demonic magic, I can’t feel this bad for a demon.

“I-I’m not pretending.”

“Don’t lie, Bojan. You are a demon, all demons do is lie. You know who and what I am, you saw weakness in me because I didn’t kill you that day. You are corrupting me because you want me to lose my wings!”

My voice is harsh while I spit out those words. I want them to hit him like whips. He needs to understand who I am, what I am.

“I know you are an angel and nothing else! I-I don't want you to lose your wings!” His voice trembles, he tries to articulate his words, but he has problems in doing so. “I’m not lying!”

“You want to bring me to the path of perdition! You want me to fall, just like Lucifer.”

He lets my hands go. I follow him with my eyes while he recoils. Now even his body is affected by all those feelings, he’s staggering and shaking. It’s just evidence of how emotions are just a liability and how much demons can’t control themselves when those same emotions are involved. They are inferior creatures, in the end.

“I-I’m not, Kris. I-I don’t want to-”

“Stop lying!” I shout at him, powers exploding from me, I can barely hold my wings hidden. “You are a filthy demon. You don’t change, you just want to destroy us.”

This is the final strike. The demon is defeated. I won. Heaven won. I’m finally free from him, from his influence, from his corruption.

I stay on that rooftop observing Bojan running away from me, then I turn to glance at all those candles. I should feel better now that I cut every tie I had with that impure being, instead there’s a strange feeling in my chest, like an emptiness.

I shake my head. It will go away, eventually, when his power will fade and he will no longer have some kind of control over me. I won’t fall, I won’t be the next Lucifer.

Life in Heaven continues as always. I help the other seraphim training the new angels, teaching them how to use their powers and how to not fall in demons’ traps. In my mind I have me as an example.

Who knows what he’s doing right now. Did he move on? Did some other angel killehim? Or maybe one of his overlords took care of him and killed him because he didn’t manage to corrupt an angel.

One day I’m tempted to go looking for him from my quarters, but I stop my hand in mid air over the mirror we angels use to watch Earth and humans from Heaven. And demons too, sometimes.

“Is everything ok, Kris?”

I turn. Martin’s there, he just entered the room.

“Yes,” I nod. “Why are you asking?”

“Because you are not our usual Kris since the last time you went on Earth.”

“I’m still me, nothing has changed.”

“Are you sure?” Martin looks me in the eyes.

“Yes, I am sure,” I reply, my voice almost growling.

“How is your little demon?”

“How am I supposed to know?” I blurt.

“You summoned his image in the mirror.”

I turn again. My eyes are wide open and my face is pale when I see him in my mirror. I didn’t touch it to activate it. Bojan is in a park, with one of his demonic friends, the blond one, Jure should be his name. They are talking about something written on that notebook.

He…looks fine. No, he’s pretending. His eyes are sad, the light in them is muffled. Is he really sad…?

“Apparently, your desire to know how he is doing is really strong,” notices Martin, now he’s next to me.

“It’s just a coincidence, Martin,” I say while staring at Bojan. “It’s a mere coincidence because we were talking about him.”

I don’t understand my mind and my body anymore. His simple image in my mirror made unknown feelings explode in me, even if on the outside I’m apparently calm. But they say that the calmest waters are the most dangerous and unpredictable ones, no? The turmoil inside of me looks like a tornado. I want to go to him, hug him, and make him smile again. Because his smile is everything to me.

A voice is calling me. I don’t even realise I’m marching towards the room where my mirror is. Bojan’s there, singing, looking up at the sky.

“Stolicu primakni, ruku mi dotakni, noćas ti si moja muza, ja u ritmu tvoga bluza ću da plešem bez prestanka.”

“You should talk to him,” says Jan, while approaching me, I’m watching that damn demon in my mirror. I forgot he was with me.

“Why? He's a demon. He's impure, a damned soul,” I reply. In the meantime Bojan’s voice is spreading in the room where I’m observing him from the sky. His voice is broken, filled with emotions, and despair. My heart is breaking, but my face shows no emotion, just like I was taught.

“Soba nam je mala. Ja ko pijana budala, a ni čaše nisam popio. Ja mislim da sam se zaljubio u tebe. Baš ja, koji nisam verovao da za nekim biću lud. Za tebe, kao u pesmama i filmovima ljubavnim, staviću zvuk.”

“And you love him.”

“Angels can't love. He started corrupting me,” I turn towards Jan.

“Angels can love and they must love. It's not corruption.”

“How can you tell it's not his corruption, Jan?!” I hiss at him, a shade of rage and maybe panic evident from my voice.

“Because I fell in love with a demon too. And I accepted it. Go to him, speak to him. He’s singing for you.”

“Samo se okreni, baci pogled prema meni. Preći će tišina sama kilometre među nama dok jednom srce otkuca.”

“With…a demon?”

“Yes, Kris. Like you, I didn’t think it was possible, but it happened. And he’s the most amazing creature I’ve ever had the chance to talk to. He’s sweet, he’s lovely, he’s…I love him. Now, please, go to him. You can hear his voice, he’s offering you his heart.”

I sigh. I don’t want to see him because I know I won’t be able to resist him. However, I find myself flying to the Earth, where Bojan is singing. His voice becomes more desperate the more the song goes on. When his eyes land on me, he falls on his knees. In my hand I have my sword. I’m trying to be intimidating, to behave like the seraph I am.

“Ne palite još svetla, još samo jedan tren da se nagledam lepote te. Ne palite još svetla. Ne prizivajte dan. Spasite me, smislite neki plan. Ako svane sunce, ostaću sam.”

Silence falls between us. We stare at each other. The demon looks even smaller now that he is on his knees, on the ground. And he’s also the one who breaks the silence.

“You came.”

“You called,” I reply. It was hard not to hear his cry for help.

No one speaks, so I decide to get closer to Bojan, slowly. His eyes on me make me feel uncomfortable, it’s so difficult to not divert my attention from him.

“You know I should kill you right now because you are on Earth and not in Hell, right?”

“Then do it. I won’t fight, I won’t run away. If I can’t be with you, I’d rather be dead.”

I finally divert my eyes from him. Those words hit me right in the chest. How dare he be this dramatic and romantic at the same time?

“You are an idiot, Bojan.”

“Yeah, I know, ljubavi. Love made me lose my mind in a way I didn’t think possible.”

“You said that in the song.”

“Maybe it’s just one of the many flaws that make us demons so imperfect in front of you angels. I was so unlucky to fall in love with you, but I don’t consider myself unlucky. I had the best moments of my life with you, I don’t want to change this for anything else in this world, not even a place in Heaven, if this means that I will lose my ability to love so strongly.”

I wince at those words, shivers run down my whole body. He has always been good with words, my complete opposite. I never admitted it, but I love how he plays with words.

I let my guard down, and in that moment he grabs my sword to sticks his point on his chest, where the heart is.

“You are here for this, no? Killing another impure soul that doesn’t follow the rules.”

I lay my eyes on him again. His only answer is a big smile, almost relieved. What is he doing? What is he trying to achieve?

“Don’t make me do this, Bojan.”

“It’s ok, ljubavi. It’s ok. It’s…it’s your nature, you have been trained to do this your whole life.”

My eyes hurt, tears are threatening to come out. No! He can’t really be like this! He wants to die? He wants me to kill him?

My first thought is to pull away my sword, and throw it as far away as possible, so Bojan can’t hurt himself, but my whole body petrifies. He’s crying in front of me. My inability to read emotions is hitting me hard, because I want to know what he’s feeling right now so I can make him feel better, but I can’t recognise anything on his face. Is he…relieved? Happy? Terrified?

He closes his eyes, and waits for me to strike. I’m still petrified. My mind stops working for a few seconds that seem to last centuries.

When I can finally control my body again, I’m able to throw away my sword. Bojan won’t die today, not thanks to me. He doesn’t deserve to die, he’s an amazing being, and a stunningly gorgeous one too. I can’t take him away from this world, and from mine too.

I fall on my knees too, I grab his face and kiss him. My lips move against his motionless ones, but he kisses me back a few seconds later. I can taste him, and his emotions too. These kisses are just showing us how much we need each other. I, a seraph, need my little demon by my side.

When we stop, Bojan lays his forehead on mine.

“Please, let it be real,” He’s whispering. “Please, please, let it be real.”

I chuckle. “It’s real, Bojan.”

He looks me in the eyes. “Real-real kind of way or…real-I’m-in-some-sort-of-Heaven-for-demons-because-I’m-dead kind of way?”

I gently caress his cheeks, then lean forwards just to kiss him again. This is my answer, at least my first one.

“This kind of way, my little demon,” I add immediately after.

“I’m your little demon, then?”

I nod. I really enjoy calling him that. And he likes it too. I keep stroking his cheeks.

“What made you change your mind?”

“Your song,” my answer arrives instantly, he is still talking. “I had feelings for you, they developed pretty early, but I…wasn’t acknowledging their existence because I never had the chance to fall in love with someone,” I confess, feeling a little bit of embarrassment. Being a high ranking angel and having problems with your feelings isn’t the best thing, to be honest.

Bojan brings me back from my thoughts while he just slams on me, pushing me on the ground. He’s now on top of me, I feel my cheeks getting redder.

“Well, now you have someone right here.”

I notice his cute little tail on his back, moving in the air. I smile.

* * *

Since my first kiss with Bojan the weight I had on me immediately disappeared. My whole life I’ve been trained to despise, fight and kill demons. But Bojan, one of those same creatures, opened my eyes and changed my world. He made me discover that angels can love too, even beings they were taught to hate, and that maybe demons are not so bad as we are told.

Now we are inseparable and I can’t picture myself without my little demon by my side.

#kris' pov #bokris #bojan cvjetićanin #kris guštin #annies writes #my writing #joker out #joker out fanfic #baš ja koji nisam verovao da za nekim biću lud #love’s the death of peace of mind

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