#i still want to go for a drive tomorrow but i CANT go to [state] it is TOO FAR AWAY

[southislandwren]

my toxic trait is thinking i could get to and from [state](18 hours round trip) in one (1) day

[aliaology]

NOW THAT WE DONT TALK

summary: yn makes it to michigan with her friend sabrina, shockingly, reconnecting with old friends and also bumping into bad memories.

series masterlist

you felt weird, the stares of others pouring heavily onto your body. you didn’t like it, the feeling, whatsoever. the crowd parted as you walked into the house. the memories from this house flooded through your mind, from running to your room away from jack, to even skinny dipping with him in the lake.

you watched cole leap up and made his way to you, leaving a very uncomfortable jack and trevor behind. "bells! you made it" he grinned.

the shorter boy threw his arms around you in happiness. "hey coley, i told you i'd be here" you smiled, hugging him back.

"i know but it's just, unreal! i haven't seen you in forever!" he smiled.

you frowned. "im sorry cole, ive been really busy in toronto and it doesn't help that i feel so out of place in michigan now.." you trailed off.

"dont sweat it, bells. im just glad you're here" he smiled at you. "how long are you staying here for?" he asked.

"well— sab leaves tomorrow, im staying to get my dorm situated back at umich" you told. cole nodded.

"get lunch with me tomorrow then? i want to catch up" you just nodded before hearing your name get called. looking behind you, you see some of jack's teammates.

jack's teammates, john marino and nico hischier always liked you. hell, you still talked to them to ask how games went and just how they were.

"ill talk to you later coley" you grinned.

cole nodded and went back to trevor and jack. trevor held a sour look on his face while jack looked pissed. you grabbed sab’s arm and brought her with you to john and nico.

"hi johnny, hi nico" you smiled at them, giving them each hugs once you got to them. "its been awhile." you added.

"seriously, a long time. have you been in toronto the entire time?" john asked.

you nodded. "yeah, i moved in with my brother. im with him for just two more weeks until i move into my new apartment." you smiled.

"really? where you moving to?" nico asked.

"new york, actually." you grinned. "maybe ill drive over to nj and pop in."

nico grinned, "i'd be careful with that one, y/n. i cant lie, jacks been in a little bit of a twist since your song came out." he spoke.

john nodded. "more standoff-ish, but he had it coming.”

you heard sab snort from behind you, causing you to grin along. "sorry its just— one of my songs ends with ‘he had it coming’ and it reminded me of that.” sabrina spoke.

"its okay— how have you both been?” nico asked. you looked at sabrina with a hesitation glint in your eyes. she just sent you a nod.

“ive been— okay? uhm, just a lot going on currently. very stressed i dont know— i just cant wait to get back to umich.” you explained.

“and i have to go back to LA tomorrow so i have to soak my time up with my girl.” sabrina grinned, tossing an arm around your neck.

"uh oh— warning, trevor is on his way over.” john said, bringing his cup to his mouth to quiet his words before taking a sip of whatever alcoholic drink he had.

you tensed up slightly, not turning your head, you kept close to sabrina.

"what up guys, how you enjoying the party? cole's wondering." trevor faked a smile.

"oh, very fun if i do say so myself." sabrina sarcastically spoke.

you nudged her slightly, elbowing her in the side. she sent you a glare, basically stating ‘cut the shit.’

trevor sarcastically smiled. "well isn't that just peachy? anyone here finding someone to go home with tonight? i know it shouldn't be too hard for some of you."

you grab nico's drink, sipping it yourself. "maybe— i heard that dixie girl is single, might ask her to go home with me.” you shrugged.

the four guys went completely silent. you coughed, "anyone up for another drink? i think i need to get drunk tonight." and you walked away.

“oh my god” sabrina laughed, immediately going after you.

“fucking bitch”

trevor scoffed, walking away in anger. john and nico looked at each other, wide eyes. "holy shit."

lol hey... this sucked but hey! tags: @honethatty12 , @slaythehousebootsdown13 , @lovinbarzal , @outrunangelss , @absolutelyhugh3s , @hockeyboysarehot , @shadowsndaisies @lxnceclercs

[cupoftaae]

9 with Yoongi please😍😍😍

"and why are you so jealous" x YOONGI

warnings- angst, swearing, drinking, references to hookups, yoongi is a fuck boyyyy

A/N- sorry for the late posting, I hope you enjoy sweetheart! <3

You sat outside the bar in the front seat of your car, eyeing the drunk people leaving as the clock read nearly 3am.

Yoongi, your roommate, had called you a bit prior, asking if you could so graciously drive his drunk ass back home. You agreed, well, because you are desperately in love with the fucker, even if he pissed you off.

the thing is, you didnt mind doing shit for him, but he was just an asshole most times. Yoongi wasnt the kind of guy who would date someone like you, he was out every weekend with his friends at some bar and probably hooking up with any girl within a 5 mile radius who'd let him.

You would let your hopes rise again anytime he did something for you, the expectations were on the floor, considering the action of him helping you clean the apartment would fluster you.

"okay, I gotta go baby"

you looked out the window, seeing yoongi walking towards your car with some drunk chick hanging off of him

"you'll call me right?" she whined, hands holding his shirt

"of course I will, first thing tomorrow" he grinned, helping her off to one of her friends.

You smirked because you knew his ass was not calling her back.

thats how yoongi was, thats the kind of person you fell for, and it wasnt this behavior that made you fall- it was all the way back to 8 months ago, when you and yoongi visited his mother in the hospital, youve never seen him so vulnerable, you held him in your arms as he cried about all of his fears.

It was tragic yet beautiful to see someone who puts on a front all the time, finally break.

You stayed against him like glue during that time, which ultimately resulted in an emotionally constipated hook up between you both.

Neither of you mentioned it ever again, especially when not too long after that he started going out on weekends again- forgetting you.

"sorry for making you pick me up...." he mumbled, crawling into the passenger seat.

"'s okay...I dont mind" you shrug, starting the car again

you felt his eyes on you, a small shiver going down your spine as you forced yourself to pay attention to the road.

"you have fun tonight?" you tried to speak, avoiding his glances.

"you look really pretty, why are you so dolled up?" he asked, voice soft

You were a bit taken back, yoongi never spoke about you like this, even in his drunk state.

"thank you..?...im not dolled up...im just wearing a shirt and jeans, I fell asleep in my work outfit."

he smiled, "oh...well its cute" his hand reached over to play with your hair a little, making you jump

"yoongi-"

"what?"

You took a breath and tried to just stay quiet until you pulled against the curb outside of the apartment, parking the car.

neither of you got out yet

"why are you still staring at me?" you mumbled, turning on the car light to grab your phone that had fallen beneath your seat.

He shrugged, "because I wanna kiss you" his voice slurred

You sat up quickly, head banging against the steering wheel "wh- fuck!"

His eyes widened "shit, you okay?" he reached a hand out

"im fine! dont...touch me" you managed to speak, turning the light off. "what makes you suddenly want to kiss me, yoongi?"

"i dont know you look cute, its not a big fucking deal" he chuckled, eyes still trailing your body

You waited a moment to gather your thoughts, "actually it is, because you say that to every girl you meet, you told that girl you'd call her and I know you wont. You cant keep treating young girls like this, yoongi. Its wrong, we get attached easily and we dont appreciate being led on."

He smirked, "okay...and why are you so jealous?"

You choked "jealous??"

"yeah, jealous"

"im not fucking jealous, yoongi, im mad that you think this is okay behavior."

"and if there were no other girls you wouldnt have reacted the way you just did- in face, I bet you would kiss me in a heartbeat." he spoke

"youre a dick, you know that?"

he nods, smirking

"proud of that?"

"meh" he shrugged

You bit the inside of your cheek and felt a wave of emotion come over you. You realized that he will never change, hes not yours and probably never will be, and you are wasting your time waiting for the yoongi from 8 months ago to come back.

"go fuck yourself" you got out and slammed the car door, leaving him behind.

His eyes sadly watched you walk away, he mentally cursed himself for fucking up again.

He knew he would never have you, and he was to blame.

[thewritingofspencerrose]

masterlist

so this ended up a LOT longer than expected...

based on the first race of the 2024 season where Max's lead was... unbelievable at best

enjoy!

"Charlie, please."

"I cant be here when he gets back, Cherie, I-," And I can hear everything he is feeling in this one sigh. "He was more than 20 seconds ahead of me today, ahead of everyone."

"You know thats not-"

"Not what? Not what he meant to do? It's his job to drive, but it's not his job to be ahead of even his teammate by ten seconds and to then go for the fastest lap, for that one point that he won't need to end the season," Charlie just shakes his head, entire body tense and eyes glassy as he pulls the zipper of his suit case.

"Charlie-" I want to cry. This isn't how we wanted to start the season, Charles not even being able to be in the same room as Max. "I'm not going to let you go unless I know you have a plan."

The tears start to fall as I blink, slowly trailing down my cheeks with the same pace of Charles steps towards me, bag dragging along.

"I will go to Jeddah early as planned, but on my own, not on his plane," He explains quietly, pads of his thumbs wiping over my cheeks. "You are welcome to come with me-"

"He would think we left him," I can't help but interrupt, feeling like my heart is tearing. "He can't handle that, he's just getting to a good place."

And he sighs again, because he knows we can't both leave him.

He'd never recover.

"You stay here then, and I will see you in a couple days," He agrees, smiling sadly before leaning in and kissing the tip of my nose. "But I have to go before he gets back."

"Char-"

"Mon ange," He says this time, voice strict and I know for sure now that there is no changing his mind.

"I love you, please text me when you get to the airport," I request, pulling him into my arms and resting my head against his chest before pulling away, staying close as he leans down and presses his lips to my own. "We'll figure this out, just go take your time."

"Je vous aime," He purrs, kissing me one more time before walking towards the door, hand on the handle.

"Charles, you can't leave before I say it back," I remind, tears still streaming but a small smile on both our faces. Pausing for a moment, he just chuckles at my theatrics.

"So?"

"I love you too."

"Schatje? Liefje?" Max's tired voice reaches my ears an hour later, smelling of champagne and having a dopey smile from the joy of the day.

I love when he's like this.

And I hate what my words are about to do to his positive mood.

"Hi my love," I greet with a small smile, having already changed into the hoodie that Lando had gotten me for the boys and my anniversary, split down the center of Redbull and Ferrari.

"Charles in the shower?" Is his question as he leans down to kiss my cheek, "I wanted to check on him, he seemed upset after the race."

Oh God.

"About that," Is how I begin, his hands smoothing down my body and onto my hips, applying just the slightest bit of pressure. "Charlie took an earlier flight. He should be landing in Jeddah soon."

There's the drop of his expression that I didn't want to see.

"What? We were all meant to fly out tomorrow morning on my plane, weren't we? Did something change?"

"He- he's not handling Redbull's performance well," Is the most gentle way I can think to deliver the news, wrapping my arms around his neck, playing with the short pieces of hair at the bottom of his neck.

But he's unwrapping my wrists from his neck, taking a large step back as his entire face freezes over. "He left because he was jealous?"

"He wasn't-"

"You just said that he wasn't handling our performance well. Redbull's. My performance. So he left," Max states, and the usual care that's in his voice when he talks about Charles is gone. While I'm aware it's only momentary, we've been through so much worse for this to be longer than that.

But his eyes are cold, and it's as though I can physically see him withdrawing into himself, into that man the media believes him to be.

Strong. Cold. Unbreakable.

And I can't help but hate it.

This isn't Max, it's the walls he builds.

Fucking Jos Verstappen.

He's moving again before I can even say anything, "Pack up your stuff. Als hij zich als een kind wil gedragen en weg wil rennen, dan zullen we hem als een ouder achtervolgen (if he wants to act as a child and run away, then we will chase him down like a parent)," He grumbles, tossing clothes back into his suitcase.

"I have no idea what you just said, but okay, we can pack up."

"Mamma?" Max can hear her voice, but not see her.

Oh... She's hiding in his plane's bathroom. On the phone. Why?

"Mamma, I don't know how to fix it this time," Her sobs seep through the walls. "I know Max doesn't mean to be so far ahead, but Charles can't handle being torn down by the man he loves for another season. I had just gotten Charlie back up to his confidence before last season."

"Max can't stop from winning, but I can't help Charlie when he needs it. We promised Max we would never leave him and Charles left."

"We're on our way to Charles now. I just can't see watch them fight again, Mamma. My heart can't take it."

All Max can think is one thing.

What are they doing to her?

"Charles, open the door."

My hearts pounding, I should have taken more of my anxiety medication.

Or gotten high.

No... I haven't done that since college.

But I can't take this.

"Charlie," I can feel the lump in my throat as I say his name, "Please."

It takes a few moments, longer than I was hoping and enough for me to worry he may never open the door, before he does, his arms encompassing me before I even get a word out.

"Mon amour," He breathes out, pulling away enough to wipe the tears I hadn't noticed falling, my hands taking hold of his hoodie. Max's hoodie. "Please don't cry."

"Schatje?" Max's voice is soft, his tone as if he's afraid he's going to spook a deer.

Charles body tenses around my own, but he does move us further into the room, allowing Max to enter and close the door, laying our bags to the side.

"Can we please talk?"

"I left early to avoid talking."

"Charlie-"

"Mon -"

"If you two do can not talk this out like to people in a relationship, I'm going to stay with my mother."

That achieves both of their attention.

"Vous êtes quoi? (you're what?)"

"Je bent wat? (you're what?)"

"We shouldn't be in a relationship if we're unable to talk about our issues," I explain as I sit on the end of the bed. "Two and a half years in you would think we'd be better at this," my hands meeting my face.

"Charles," my eyes don't open, but I can hear the desperation which prompts me to peek. And when I do I want to continue my cry from the plane.

Charles has taken a seat on the side of the bed, Max holding his face as he kneels in front of him.

"You know I have no control over the team's differences in abilities. But I do play a part in how you feel. And I do know we both love her, and each other, too much to not talk this through."

"Mad Max Verstappen, are you being emotional?" Charlie questions, earning my full attention.

He's smiling, they both are, and they're both teary eyed.

And I throw myself on top of Charles back, toppling the both of us into Max and onto the floor.

"There's my boys."

[approachme4fun]

MissBanshee__

Gaming & LoveLife

I have tried literally everything regarding MissBanshee__,and getting us back to where we were before the argument,but my desperate efforts (showing her that i really cant function or live without her),is being met by blocks,bans and ghosting across the board. I still technically consider me her boyfriend,and her my girlfriend. As we never truly broke up with eachother.

I did a dumb reversed psychology thing,where i needed reassurance that she still loved me,wich i probably shouldnt have done. I also got abit too upset over the fact that she yet again neglected me,when she in reality herself had promised that the entire weekend were supposed to be "our time only",as she streams in the week days.

But lately shes been jumping on invites or other friends streaming lobbies,despite her saying to me things like her internet was gone,or her migraine really bothered her. I always wait patiently on my girlfriend then,because i know up front what is going on.

But this past weekend,she claimed her internet went out and i waited and waited for her to say it had come back. When i got tired of waiting,me going through random streams randomly stumbled across her laughing and having a jolly good time,online in a tcm lobby with people she apparently had told on her Thursday stream that: "Starting tomorrow and throughout the weekend,ill be spending it with my mans."

Again,this is not me putting restraints on MissBanshee__ (her twitch account) or making rules for her,like Megyhs (now a unseparated friend of MissBanshee__ thanks to me introdcing them to eachother) accused me of,on a recent Minecraft stream. (Megyhs has now followed blindly in MissBanshee__`s footsteps,just blocking or banning me wherever i try to reach out to make things right.

I have 2 main things i have anazlysed up and down i was ready to apologize for,1 is already said reversed psychology where i unfollowed her twitch and questioned her in ways that might have confused her. Again,all i needed was to hear her say that she loved me and wanted to stay as a couple,because what hurts even more then a F YOU Approach to my face,is hearing "maybe we should just rather be friends". As i cant live without her love,if she only let me explain....

I came from a state of mind where i didnt really have a life,it was a dark place of miserable existence. She came into my life,first talked me into adding her on discord,wich i was hesitant to. And after that over the following weeks she won me completely over,knowing about my past relationships that left me hurt and packed with mistrust.

She promised me she would never ever block me out of her life,the only thing she said was "It has to be you breaking up with me". I guess she could have viewed the unfollowing and general reversed psychology as one,but i was never going to. And since i can no longer apologize to her,i apologize to the masses on twitter.

I wish i didnt come off soo angry at her either,but in reality all she would have done to prevent this,was to let me know up front that she was invited or wanted to play with people she plays with the week through

And recently had been living ingame with over a 2 piece attempted 48hour stream that went with a small internet outage break,lasted long over 60ish hours,and just days after that another 24 hour stream,where i never had any real quality time with her whatsoever,and it was driving me slowly insane over the past weeks,where also our weekends was ruined by something or someone.

I love her that freaking much,she gave me a life of hope wich i havent had in YEARS! I could have done anything for her,and i did. I can not go into full detail about what i did for her,but it required often that i neglected my own need of sleep to be present for her whenever she needed me.

She had me 24-7 and i never complained,because i loved being her best support she has ever had. And my heart still wants to,thats why its soo heartbreaking that she cold and evil just blocks and bans me everywhere,even when im begging her for 5 minutes of her time on discord,where i can make everything okay again.

I even paied her 1USD for each minute of those minutes on PayPal,and while i was being respectful she was heard saying on her stream: "Can i block people on PayPal?" (I have that recorded btw)

So once again she hurt my feelings,and i told her some harshfull stuff,while still begging her to talk with me,and i also questioned her intensions,since she keeps hurting me and confusing me,as this is not the MissBanshee__ i once fell for.

She gave me life promises i couldnt believe that she wanted to do for me,that actually had me tearing up of happiness. Based on living things that meant too much to me f ex.

Now,i havent slept properly in going on 4 days,i keep waking up panicking,looking at the screen,hoping for a sign of contact from my woman,my girlfriend....future wife. A flimmer has even been in the picture. I can not function or eat without her daily love and support,the way i thought she couldnt live without mine. I thought we had similar strong feelings for eachother,but i seem to be the desperate one when it comes to trying to get through arguments and continue like we used to.

Learning from our mistaces,growing stronger as a relationship and couple,but she got over me before the actual argument had even gotten cold. She already has new besties she barely knows compared to me,and has replaced me on her stream screen,wich she honestly never even had on there.

Makes me question her on several areas,and the fact that shes over the top happy go lucky on her streams. I have heard about putting on a brave face,i know that feeling all too well,but i would have heard on her that she was truly sad and hurt on the inside,if thats truly what she felt like. I know her too well.

Im not gonna paint myself a saint in this argument,i did 2 things i wish i could take back,have undone/unsaid. But also honestly,she didnt do it easy for me by keep on neglecting me,and letting me find out on my own,that she was "breaking her own weekend rule,with people she LIVES ingame with throughout the week days".

I never play with her during the week anymore (before the argument) Because i back off and let her do her thing,i dont want to interupt,our playstyles crash and what not. I dont feel like im worthy of playing with her on stream,and she seems to have way more fun being over the top aggressive and toxic ingame,with sweaty players.

Im soo fu**ing respectful normally and patient its crazy,all i want from her is to let me know up front,if she runs off hanging out with people,when she has promised me that its our quality time,with no other persons involved.

Every day that goes by,i think of her every minute,every second. I cant stop breaking into tears,my heart aches too much,just longing for her to once again embrace me,wanting me also for the future.

I cant simply live without her,i havent done anything in 4 days but to use my last bit of draining energy on getting my love back,only to get coldly stomped on. I havent used the best of words always,but im sure she doesnt either if she were in a desperate love aching situation,she uses more fowl language on her streams,then i used against her. I never judge her for it though,im just saying.

I dont have a life anymore,she was my last bit of hope and sparkling light in a dark tunnel. I love you until i die,MissBanshee__! (Or until my heart and soul doesnt have energy left to scream out for you to come back to me) Why did you become so cold and evil? We could have come out of this argument even stronger. We both are to blame heavily,its just not one side. Why did you stop fighting for me? :(((

Unless you magicly come back,Goodbye my love! :((( #Heartbroken

The characters we first met ingame as,Johnny and Julie. I dont even have fun playing this game anymore,without her :(( Plz come back to me!?!

PS: Came to my attention that one of her moderators that looked over my unban request,calls me a stalker. Uhm,im technically her boyfriend and i have genuine strong feelings for someone i have gotten to know well for months. BTW,interesting of a moderator to say,knowing that one of the ones she plays with again now reguarly,is the biggest threatening stalker,and hated tcm community member ever,that even the devs has banned once already. That doesnt make much sence to me. And i dont bother her,im begging my "girlfriend" to speak to me,wich would make me relax,maybe get some appetite back (im super dizzy most of the days,im just slowly fading away)

She keeps on hurting me,by not responding and just blocking and banning me all over the place. Im simply just a "boyfriend" that needs to sort out missunderstandings and the argument from my side,so she can feel better too.... Im shocked that im being looked at as a stalker. Would i call her that if i blocked her and she kept trying to get in contact with me? No,because my love for her would want to hear her out,and start over. So now im just gonna wildly assume that she has taken the toxic path? Super unaffected,with a fresh argument she deserved to be "yelled at" for just behind her,but wich i also need to take my guilty parts from.

Are we 12 or are we both adults,how about we solve things in a non immature way???? She has sounded way too unaffected on both her streams,for someone that loved me as much as she claimed she did, I just find it all super immatured,toxic cold and evil. I did 2 mistakes,but its nothing compared to how she mistreated me. If she cant take me letting her know,then she will never learn regarding relationships.

[manias-wordcount]

Hiii i been reading you spike x readers and in in love!!can i request a spike x reader where he and the reader have a one night stand and they never talk about it but spike is falling in love with the reader and reader falling in love with spike, and one day spike cant hold in his feelings anymore💖Can it be smut/fluff please and thank you💖💖💖

One More Moment (Spike Spiegel x Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗺, 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁. 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗹��𝗳𝗳 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗶 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗵𝗼𝗯𝗯𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘂𝗽 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗺𝘀 𝗱𝗮𝗺𝗻 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝟱𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗹𝗺𝗮𝗼𝗼𝗼 𝗕𝗨𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗚𝗔𝗥𝗗𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗜 𝗛𝗢𝗣𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚!! 𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘂𝗽 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲, 𝘃𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗲𝘅, 𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗹 (𝗳𝗲𝗺 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴), 𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗯𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝘃𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗱𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗸 𝘀𝗲𝘅 (𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗱𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁)

𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁: @dogsandrocketsocks @pittbull-enthusiast

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

“Spike? You said you wanted to see me?”

You make it so hard for him, don’t you?

“Yeah, I-” He starts but all too quickly he’s finding out that he doesn’t have the control that he desperately wants in this situation. Not since it started. And now, it’s hard getting his words out and he’s not used to that feeling. Still, there’s nothing left for him to do but clears his throat and try again. And hope he doesn’t fuck it up like the last time. “I did. You look nice, by the way.”

Nice is an understatement. Nice is what he tells Faye when she cleans up for a bounty. Nice is what he tries to be to Ein so the mutt doesn’t find any other ways to mess with him. But you? You’re downright sexy in that little black dress of yours. Visibly brightening at his half-assed compliment and he wishes he could start over and do better. Tell you how pretty you look with your hair done like that. Tell you how he wishes he could ruin it right now. Ruin you-

He just barely got you into the hotel room before he’s pushing you against the door and pressing his lips against yours. There’s no time to turn on the lights. No time to see what the closest motel to the port has to offer. Not when your arms are throwing themselves around his neck and your nails are scaping his scalp in a way that makes him wonder what his back is going to look like when he wakes up tomorrow. But tomorrow can wait.

He’s all yours for tonight.

His hands are creeping up your dress, going higher and higher with every gasp and moan he greedily pulls from your lips. A backless little red number with a neckline that hangs too low not to be criminal on you. It’s too flimsy. So easy to tear that in the split second it comes to mind, his hands are already shredding the fabric into two. You cry out in surprise but he’s already whispering against your lips about how he’ll buy you another one. Something cuter. Tighter. Shorter. But not too pretty.

The you right now against him is driving him insane. So much so that he can’t imagine you in any state that isn’t perfect like you are right now. All the noises that you make as he grinds into your core, his boner sitting heavy against his thigh. The whines about you being the only one dressed he has to ignore for your sake. He’s itching to get a taste of you. To toss you around. To have more of you. Your voice. Your scent. Your touch. Your-

“Spike?” Your voice, laced with concern breaks him out of his stupor. You’re so much closer to him now. When you found the time to get off your barstool and stand right next to him, he’ll never know. You throw him off his game. You did then, and you’re doing it now. He bets with all the money in his shitty excuse of a bank account that you have no idea too. “Spike are you okay?”

He’s not.

He’s not, and he can’t deny it any longer. He hasn’t been since he fucked you for the first and last time. He thought he could do it. He thought he could settle with just being friends. A one-time and one-time-only event. You two were just in need of someone’s company. Running high on mixed drinks and the moment. Sure you’re pretty. Even prettier when you’re cumming and crying on his cock, but he’s seen pretty before. He killed pretty before. And yet, every time you say his name he just-

It’s hard to think when there’s nothing but pure heat flooding his veins. So he chooses not to instead. It’s his body that decided to throw you onto the bed and kneel in front of you And now, here he is.

He’s lapping up the mess in between your thighs. He doesn’t even mind that he’s reduced to shoving his pants down only halfway because he’s excited. To spitting in his hand and fucking his fist in an attempt to keep himself ready for you. Your body is soft and warm. Inviting, even.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in him that’s making him so eager. Or maybe it’s the mess you left on his pants from getting too excited yourself. Whatever the reason, he doesn’t bother to waste much thought on it. He’s far too occupied stretching you out with his fingers, all nice and slow while sucking on your clit to even care. Nipping and biting. Licking and sucking. His tongue grows sore and tired but every time you cry out he moves faster. Every time your hands tug at his hair, he sucks a little harder. Every time you crush his head between your thighs, he decides that you deserve a little more. That you’re worth a little more.

If only for tonight. If only for forev-

“SPIKE?!”

The small slur in his name tumbles out of your lips. Loud, yet clumsy as you try to catch his attention. He must be way out of it. Perhaps he miscounted how many shots he had. It seemed like each time he finished, he had another one in front of him until recently. But then, maybe…just maybe… it’s all because of you.

His grip around his shot glass tightened. He wished he took another one. But the club was loud, and he didn’t feel like shouting over all these drunk idiots just to fill his blood with more liquid courage than he should. That doesn't change just how difficult you make things for him.

Your hand is on his arm, perfect nails just brushing against his skin. The way you sway as you try to look him in the eyes. Your pupils are big, and you’re licking your lips every couple of seconds in a way that should be illegal. The feeling of a warm body next to his isn’t unfamiliar, but it drives him damn near insane that he can smell the alcohol on your breath, and he just wants to know what you drank before seeing him. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. But what’s the harm in wanting a little taste of what you don’t have. Straight from the source. Straight from your source.

But you’re watching him. Waiting for him to say something, and as much as he wants to kiss you, that night started with honesty, not him shoving his tongue down your throat. As tempting as it is now that you’re standing so close. Now that he’s leaning down closer and closer with his lips brushing against the side of your face. There was once a time he could swear up and down that he wasn’t like this. He needed no one back then. He wanted no one back then. Now, the world around him is disappearing. No calls of drunk strangers, no loud music, no sounds of a bar being tended. Just your every breath that passes through your pretty, little, kissable lips. Directly. Against. His. neck.

And he snaps.

“I’ve been thinking about you.” A confession in a low voice. An admission of guilt with a thread of desperation. Your breath hitches, but you don’t say anything. He doesn’t blame you either. He doesn’t do this often. He doesn’t beg, often. Then again, he doesn’t get brainwashed by a long-time partner’s pussy either. Yet, there’s hardly anything stopping him as his hands reach out slowly, ghosting over your hips. You test him. Every single day, he swears you test him. Little glances were thrown over your shoulder, like the tease you are. Lingering touches that should mean nothing. That probably do mean nothing. But nothing can stop what he feels. “I want you.”

No matter how he tries. He’s losing his mind when you’re near. And when you’re far, it becomes even worse. He’s constantly haunted by memories. The smell of sex. The creaking of a bed. The feeling of being alive. It’s too much. Without you, with you, he can’t get enough of you. Of all of you. Of every single thing you do, he can’t get enough of just-

Shadows crawl across your face. Stretching across your stomach and reaching around your neck as you watch him with parted lips and glossy eyes. There’s barely any light in the hotel room. All he can see of you is generously illuminated by the light of some moon he can’t botter to remember the name of. And he can’t help but palm one of your breasts while holding your thighs wide open for him, wondering when you became the girl the prettiest girl in the world. When the edge of a motel bed that smells like cigarettes and feels like cheap sheets become a throne?

He can’t hear what he’s telling you. He’s far too captured by this sight of you to even realize that his lips are moving. But then he pushes his cock into you, and he’s already regretting drawing out the foreplay for so long. The breath you draw in is sharp. It falls apart into a moan just seconds after it’s released in the air and Spike can’t help but follow suit quickly. You’re so tight. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this. You just squeezing around him with warm, wet walls that he can’t get enough of despite only licking crumbs.

The faces you make are intoxicating. Every detail of your body is addiction. This experience? Euphoric. In all ways of the word. In all ways that shouldn’t be possible. Just because it involves you.

How many times has he thought about hooking up with you before that night? Clearly not enough. If only he stopped to consider his options more carefully. Some people are just built to be spread out on sheets. Who knew you were one of them? And now, it’s inch by painstaking inch as he fills you up. It takes everything inside of him not to snap his hips into yours like a freak. He knows he needs to take it slow. To enjoy every second of tonight, but his mind is going numb, and you’re reaching for him. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Crossing your ankles around his hips. Digging your nails into his skin. Biting at his neck. Screaming out his name-

“Spike…”

You’re uttering it this time. Somehow, it still sounds the same as it did. Breathless and light like the sweetest thing in the world. Full and loaded, like the Jericho that sits at his waistband, but there’s nothing he can do now that he’s lost the power. Instead, he's forced to watch in silence. Almost tasting the cocktail on your tongue as time slows down. If nothing happens tonight, nothing happens. The torment won’t stop, he’s sure of it. If he could kiss you one more time, he would in a snap. If he could fuck you for one more night, he would in a heartbeat. But if he could hold you. Just, hold you. For one more night. One more hour. Minute. Second. Moment. He would. So fast, he would.

“...I want you too…”

Just so he could never let you go.

[oddaodd]

· I Don't Go In For Sweets ·

Request: by a lovely anon "set after the events of season 3. Tommy can't handle the company, he's still grieving and he has to be there for Charlie so Polly tells him she knows a girl from a good family to get married He ends up agreeing (aunt Pol can be very persuasive) but even though he's married, this new girl isn't considered as a wife. He doesn't really make any effort but his "wife" understands, he's a widowed father who lost his first wife only a year ago. However since they are...in this, she wants to make her time as enjoyable as possible for the both of them and for Charlie too. But no matter what Tommy makes it a point of honor to not let her in, to not let her replace Grace so he ignores her, he works more, tries to spend as little as possible in the house. Reader stays patient, it will be alright and Charlie is making her quite busy anyway. One night, Tommy comes home completely drunk and maybe a bit high too, he can't even make it to his office. Thankfully Reader is still awake, she takes care of him and Tommy just...melts at how gentle Reader is, he may be able to keep his distant while sober but it's much harder in his state. He admits to her how he's been feeling and all. Ever since that night, something changed, Tommy feels some comfort, some solace being around her, she accepts him wholly, even his flaws, the bad side of his business and she tries to provide some sort of safe place for when it gets too hard." (I edited the request because it was very long, but I kept all essential parts in there)

Author’s note: I loved loved loved writing this and it ended up being SUPER long, but I’m very happy with how it turned out. As always, I hope you like it and have the loveliest of days!

Warnings: season 3 SPOILERS sort of, but not really, still read at your own risk. Arranged marriage, mentions of alcohol and drugs, angst.

·

“Thomas, you may not be able to see it, but you’re breaking apart” Polly spoke with a sigh as she lit a cigarette after everyone was dismissed from a family meeting.

Everyone had left Tommy’s office in arrow house rather gaily after receiving their fair compensations for partaking in the whole Russian ordeal, all except Polly, who remained where she sat, wishing for a word with her nephew

Tommy merely scoffed at her concern before lighting his own cigarette and taking a puff “I’ll be alright”

“And Charlie?” Pol pressed knowing Tommy’s mourning was not only affecting him, but Charlie as well. “What about him?”

“He’s fine” He said before turning around to look through the window, ignoring his Aunt’s heavy stare.

“You take too much after your mother” she sighed half angry half sad “she too loved pretending everything was alright and I don’t need to remind you where that lead her”

Tommy sighed deeply, he knew he could fool anyone. Anyone but Polly. “We’ll manage”

“Consider my offer” Polly said standing up and making her way to the door “Y/n is a good girl from a good family” she persuaded before leaving the room.

Tommy sighed at his Aunt’s words, he wasn’t ready to get married again even when he knew the woman he would be marrying was a nice one. He felt like he was spitting on Grace’s grave and he hated himself for even considering the prospect, but he knew a mother figure would be good for Charlie.

He spent the rest of the day pondering about Polly’s suggestion and remembering his own childhood in the shadow of the absent tortured presence that his mother had been. It didn’t take him long to decide he didn’t want that for Charlie, so that same night he phoned Polly.

“I’ll do it” was all he said before hanging up. There was no need for more words, Polly would know exactly what he meant.

Exactly a week later, Tom was standing in the altar of a church that was significantly smaller than the one from his first wedding. The fact that everything about this wedding was so obscenely different from his first did soothe his guilt a bit. And as he stood there he couldn’t keep his mind from traveling to the days leading up to his wedding to Grace. She had made sure everything was perfect and had made an effort to invite every single relative she could think of. She remembered her rambling on an on about fabrics, insisting that everything ought to be perfect when he in all honestly couldn’t care less, he just wanted to marry her.

All his thoughts vanished away with a poof when Y/n came into sight. And what a sight she was. She had insisted on doing her own makeup and on pinning flowers to her hair to compliment her headpiece and her elegant, yet simple white dress flowed almost mystically as her father gave her away. She had never imagined she would be marrying someone she didn’t know, but she wanted to look her best for getting married is not something people do everyday.

When she stood in the altar, she offered her to be husband a smile which he did not return, instead turning his attention to the priest before them. She mirrored his actions, her heart beating violently under her chest as the priest began speaking.

It all felt like a blur, she could swear it had only been a second since her father had given her away and yet, the priest had already uttered the dreaded “you may now kiss the bride”

Tommy barely brushed his lips against hers and soon the sound of everyone clapping invaded her ears. They had a small party afterwards in Y/n’s former house. Her parents had invited pretty much all of their acquaintances while tommy had only invited his close relatives.

When night fell Tommy was more than ready to leave “Are you ready to go?” was one of the few sentences he uttered to his now wife that night.

She again offered him a smile before saying “yeah just let me say goodbye”

The drive to arrow house was tense, although Y/n didn’t know Thomas very well she would tell he was unhappy. She wondered about what to say to him, but couldn’t come up with anything good enough and soon enough they were pulling over in front of Tommy’s stately home.

“Charlie must already be asleep, but I'll introduce you tomorrow” he said opening Y/n’s door for her.

“It’s alright” she said looking at him, not quite knowing what to do next.

“Your parents sent some of your belongings, I've already asked the maids to take them up to your-our room” he said

“Thank you, Thomas” she smiled as she walked into the big house not yet feeling close enough to him to call him Tommy.

His name falling from her lips caused an echo of bittersweet emotions to stir inside him but he masked it perfectly well as she introduced Y/n to the maids that went to the door to take their coats.

“Frances here will show you the way to the room” he said after having made introductions.

“This way, Mrs” Frances politely said.

Y/n began following her but stopped when she didn’t hear Tommy’s footsteps behind her own.

“Are you not coming?” she asked turning to look at him.

“Maybe in a bit” was all he said before he walked away down one of the many spacious hallways of the house.

After Y/n made herself comfortable in the room and changed into her nightgown she took the time to peek around the room like one always does when one is a strange place. After familiarizing herself with it she laid down in the big bed. She was nervous, she knew what happened on wedding nights. A small chuckle stopped at her lips when she recalled the stories her close already married girlfriends told her. If she hadn’t married a complete stranger she too would be looking forward to it.

Her thoughts ended up luring her to sleep after a while despite her nerves and the night went by in a ridiculously fast flash. The next morning she woke up alone and after getting ready she made her way downstairs. Tommy and Charlie were already in the dining room when she entered it.

“good morning” she said

Charlie immediately turned his attention to her, his eyes widening while his dad merely glanced at her while he muttered a “Good morning “ of his own.

Y/n sat down next to Tommy while he cleared his throat “charles, this is Y/n. We got married yesterday so she’ll be living with us from now on”

Charlie merely nodded in understanding before playing around with his food.

A tense air flooded breakfast until Tommy stood up, having barely touched his food and spoke turning to look at Y/n “I have to go now, if you need anything feel free to ask Frances”

“Alright” Y/n replied feeling a bit disappointed, she would love to get to know him, but she already knew it was going to be difficult.

“I have to go too” Charlie announced in a timid voice, interrupting Y/n’s thoughts. Despite her disappointment she understood, maybe he was just shy and his dad just reticent. They had lost a wife and a mother after all.

The first few days after that, Charlie avoided her nearly as much as his father did and Y/n remained in lonely patience until one night Charlie’s cries interrupted her focus on the book that she had just bought. She rushed to his room and called out his name as she entered not knowing if the boy would be comfortable with her or not.

“What is it?” she asked worried as she knelt by his bed.

“I miss my mum” the boy confessed looking at her with teary eyes as he clutched his blanket.

Y/n felt her heart give a small ache at his confession and in an attempt to comfort him she spoke “She’s not really gone, you know?”

“She’s dead” the boy sobbed.

“but people who die, don’t leave us. Not really anyhow” she said hesitantly rubbing his arm. “just because we cant see them doesn’t mean they are not here”

“I miss seeing her” he continued.

“Oh but you can still see her”

“how”

“before you go to bed just think about her, then she’ll visit you in your dreams” Y/n spoke as if she was telling a fairy tale.

“really?” the boy’s eyes widened.

“really” Y/n confirmed “But you have to think really really hard”

“I’ll try” Charlie said having calmed down a bit.

“very well” Y/n said as she stood up, but Charlie’s voice stopped her.

“can you stay till I fall asleep?”

After that night, Charlie hardly left Y/n’s side and she felt much better with his company for she was sure if he wasn’t there keeping her on her toes all day she would fall into a depressive chasm induced by her husband’s absence.

On the rare moments he was home she tried to strike up conversation with him over breakfast or late at night when he came home and she was burdened by insomnia. But Tommy only humored her with a few short responses before excusing himself or turning to face the other side of the bed.

It wasn’t only the fact that he avoided her as much as he could, but he also made it a priority to exclude her at all times. She was never invited into family meetings or night’s at The Garrison so she thought it was a miracle when tommy didn’t oppose to her planning Charlie’s birthday party.

She invited only Tommy’s family which instantly warmed up to her, noticing what a good influence she was and Polly wanted to slap Thomas for the way he had been acting throughout his marriage to Y/n. Almost feeling guilty for getting her into this mess.

When the party ended Tommy shut himself in his office like he often did when he was at home and though he had never given Y/n a reason to believe she was welcome in there of all places, she found herself allowing herself in after putting Charlie to bed.

Tommy looked up as she entered and let out a sigh before turning his attention back to some papers he had been reading.

“I noticed you didn’t have any” she commented not letting his sigh deflate her as she laid a plate with a slice of homemade chocolate cake on his desk. “it’s really good if I may say so myself” she mused sitting down in a chair opposite to his as she dug in with a fork in her own slice.

“I don’t go in for sweets” he stated.

“Not even chocolate?” Y/n tried, but tommy didn’t answer, instead he just shook his head.

“I still think you should try it, it’s not overly sweet, and…”

“is there anything you need?” he interrupted bluntly a bit harsher than he would’ve liked.

His tone caught her off guard and when she couldn’t come up with an answer tommy again turned his attention back to his papers.

“I wish you could let me in” She softly confessed after a few tense seconds.

“Well I wish we hadn’t married but I guess things don’t always go the way we want them to go”

Tommy knew he had crossed a line by the silence that again settled into the room. He looked up at Y/n with her parted lips and misty eyes. They exchanged glances for a second but instead of allowing him to see her like that any longer, she stood up setting her plate on his desk and walked away, only allowing a few tears to drop by when she was out of the room and his sight.

After that she stopped trying to get closer to him. He still loved his late wife and she understood, people in grief never mean what they say after all, but his words stung nonetheless.

She stopped trying to wait for him at night to see if he had gotten home alright and during breakfast she only uttered polite good mornings.

One night however, Y/n was yanked out of a peaceful sleep by a loud crash. She was on her feet in no time and after checking into Charlie’s room to see if he was alright she cautiously ventured downstairs. A few incoherent mumbles filled her ears before her husband came into sight, fumbling with his coat to get it off.

“need help?” she asked earning his attention.

“I’m fine” he said finally taking it off but as he went to take a step to begin walking the floor under him moved and he lost his balance, his knees crashing loudly against the wooden floor.

Y/n offered him a hand and helped him up. He smelled of whiskey and cigarettes, his hands were shaky, consequence of the snow, no doubt. “let’s get you upstairs”

“I can do it on me own” he slurred letting go of her hand.

“stop being so stubborn” she derided, snaking one of her arms around his waist as she helped him upstairs.

Y/n helped him into bed, tookoff his shoes and went to the bathroom to fetch a small towel and some cold water.

She dampened the towel with the cold water before dabing it gently on Tommy’s forehead. His eyes never leaving her face as she did so, making her grow a bit nervous. She continued, trying her best to ignore it until she felt his hand softly caressing her cheek.

“You are beautiful” he rasped.

“Stop it, Thomas” she said feeling her cheeks grow red when she felt a bit sad that he had to be completely drunk to compliment her.

Even in his drunken state he seemed to notice he was making her uncomfortable so he held his tongue until Y/n laid in bed next to him after turning on the lights.

“I’m sorry” he interrupted the silence “For the way I’ve been acting” the whiskey and cocaine making him more vulnerable and open “I guess I was afraid that if I let you in then she would disappear”

He didn’t expect her to answer, but then her voice came in a soft exhausted tone“ I don’t intend to replace her. You don’t need to act all defensive and secretive. Even if it’s not what you wanted, we are married.”

“I Know” was all he said.

Y/n expected him to withdraw more from her after showing himself that vulnerable to her that night but she was wrong. He began arriving home earlier, sometimes even asking if he could come along on the walks she and Charlie so much adored going on. And Y/n finally felt her marriage was going somewhere maybe it wasn’t based on love yet, but it was something.

One day she was at the stables while Charlie was taking a nap. She had always adored horses.

“I didn’t know you liked horses” came Tommy’s smooth voice causing her to jump.

“You never asked” she smiled petting a black horse as he walked closer to her.

“We could go out for a ride, I’m sure Charlie wouldn’t mind letting you borrow his horse” Tommy offered as he too began to pet the horse, his fingers brushing against Y/n’s for a brief second.

“I’d love to, but I am afraid I don’t know how to ride, Tommy” she said, panicking for a second after having called him that. But she rested assured as soon as he spoke again.

“Well that can be fixed” he said opening the door of the stall and guiding the horse outside.

“You mean now?” Y/n asked with a laugh.

“Got something better to do?” he asked walking out of the stable with the horse. Y/n observed tommy as he prepared the horse. She had never seen him so gentle and calm before and she only realized she had been staring when Tommy directed his attention to her to ask her if she was ready.

“I think so” she said going to stand next to the horse wondering how the hell to climb up. But before she had any more time to think she felt Tommy’s hands on her waist giving her a push that allowed her to pull herself up on the animal. It was a good thing she had chosen to wear slacks that day, she thought.

“Goodness this is high” she said nervously looking down at Tommy when he began guiding the horse to move in a slow walk.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall” he promised repressing a mirthful tone at her nervousness.

He guided the horse with her around the property in the crisp evening air and Y/n allowed herself to relax with every step the horse took. Tommy’s presence made her feel safe and protected and she found it increasingly harder to look away from his figure. She wondered if he could feel her eyes on him.

When the sky began turning soft shades of purple and orange the pair returned to the stables. When the time came from Y/n to come down from the horse, tommy helped her again. Y/n began to love the feeling of him touching her and when her feet touched the ground in front of Thomas, he didn’t remove his hands from her waist right away and instead fixed his blue eyes on her, not wanting to stop looking at her.

She too fixed her eyes on Tommy as she felt a silent gasp in the base of her throat. That was the way she would’ve liked him to look at her on their wedding day. Tommy then leaned in, almost as if he were asking for permission before he tenderly pressed his lips to Y/n’s.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz @slytherinicequeen @lilymurphy03

[lukeevangelista]

Getting into a heated argument with nick (which is so rare for you two) and neither of you can fall asleep because you guys don’t want to go to bed angry at eachother

“you never listen to what i have to say! it’s always about you!”

“always about me? i drop everything to make sure i’m at whatever event you need to attend! i’m always at every game! dammit nick, i uprooted my life for you!” you shouted, “so do not make me out to be the bad guy here! because i’m not!”

nick let out a sarcastic laugh, “of course you’re not. you’re never the bad guy.” he didn’t stick around after that. he walked out of the house, getting into his car and driving away; mainly to clear his head and to make sure he didn’t keep saying things that was going to dig himself an even bigger hole.

***

you had been on the couch when he got back, your bed already made on there; him knowing you weren’t sleeping with him.

“you’re really sleeping down here?“ he asked, his face dropping.

you nodded, not giving him a verbal answer as you were still upset with him, and he knew that. so he didn’t push it.

he walked back up the stairs, his shoulders slumped as he gave up.

he tossed and turned before he finally made the decision to crawl out of bed.

he couldn’t sleep without you being next to him.

“i cant sleep without you.” nick stated as he walked down the stairs, “i don’t want to go to bed angry at you baby.” he continued as he crossed over to the couch, where you were laying, wide awake.

“nick, i don’t think we should be together tonight.” you replied as you kept your eyes on the ceiling.

“that’s fine baby, but i can’t sleep knowing you’re mad at me.”

you sighed as you sat up, your eyes making contact with his finally.

“i cant either.” you started, “i’m sorry nick. you’re right-“

“i’m not though. i was just talking out of my ass about everything. you’re literally the best thing to happen to me and i couldn’t be more grateful for you.” he said as sat next to you, “please come to bed. we can finish this tomorrow.”

you nodded as you stood up, your pillows tucked under your arm, “let’s go. i’m exhausted.”

[baroquebucky]

grasp

soulmate au where when you touch your soulmate you see glimpses of your future with them; the winter soldier touches you and realizes there’s so much more out there

series masterlist // previous // next

part four

word count: 4.5k (worth it omg)

masterlist

a/n: hi bffs !! hope u all enjoy this chapter i am v proud of it :] let me know what u guys think i love reading ur feedback and talking w you guys !! (srry for any typos :P)

You were giddy with excitement, texting steve that you were ready to be picked up when he was ready. Your hands fiddled with buckys dog tags, a smile on your face while you waited on the couch for Steve.

It had become routine for you to join steve on his visits to wakanda to visit bucky. T’challa had been kind enough to allow you to tag along, saying soulmates should never have to deal with all the two of you had gone through.

You phone buzzed with a message from steve letting you know he was on his way. The excitement in your chest grew, having so many stories to tell bucky.

The drive and the flight felt long despite you sleeping through most of it. Finally stepping out into the fresh air and greeting the royal family, making small talk with shuri as t’challa and steve walked towards where bucky was staying.

“i should get going, I’ll be sure to meet up with you tomorrow so we can talk about it!” you smiled brightly at the girl and she nodded, waving you off.

Shuri had been kind enough to tell you about the designs for Bucky’s new vibranium arm, she had asked for you opinions and what you thought he would prefer. It warmed your heart and had brought the two of you closer together.

Bucky knew you would be coming, he made sure his long hair was tied neatly, his heart racing as he heard steve approaching. He smiled, taking in a deep breath and checking himself out in the mirror one more time.

Steve knocked on the side of the hut twice, a smile on his face as he waited for his best friend to move aside the bright curtains. Bucky opened them with a smile, saying hello and pulling steve in for a hug.

“you know you can just let yourself in right?” Bucky joked, “wheres y/n?” he asked as soon as they pulled apart. Steve rolled his eyes, a playful smile on his face.

“don’t even care about your best friend anymore?” Steve joked and bucky frowned, “kidding, kidding, she was talking with shuri about something, should be here in a bit” he smiled at his friend a bucky nodded, moving so he could enter his little home.

You walked quickly, excited to finally be with bucky after two long months. You couldn’t stop the excitement that grew in your chest, heart racing as you got closer to him.

Finally you reached the hut, knocking three times before stepping away slightly, focusing your sight on the goats next to the huts. The sound of the curtains moving brought you attention back, making you turn your head back.

Bucky smiled at you, before he could say anything you threw yourself into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“well hello to you too doll” he joked and you giggled, not bothering to let go of him. As you pulled away you beamed up at bucky, saying a breathless ‘hi’ before he smiled back at you, a charming smile on his face as he kissed your cheek.

The two of you walked in, hands intertwined as you joined steve the three of you falling into easy conversation, talking of your recent missions and adventures.

“no, yeah steve got his ass handed to him” you laughed, the blonde rolling his eyes and mouthing a ‘no,’ bucky rolled his eyes at his friend, knowing he probably did.

“so you took down how many people?” Bucky asked you, a proud smile on your face as you replied.

“eight guys” you boasted, “didn’t even break a sweat” you smirked. Steve and bucky looked at each other before laughing, bucky pulling you into his side, kissing the top of your head.

“you didn’t even leave your bed the next day from how sore you were!” Steve teased and you frowned, moving to punch him.

Bucky wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his lap. You landed with a huff and Steve grinned at you.

“you never get sore it’s not fair” you shot back, bucky resting his head on your shoulder.

Steve shrugged his shoulders, the three of you continuing to bicker and laugh until the sunset. You were leaning on Buckys chest, his arm wrapped around you as you rested your eyes. Steve and bucky reminisced on some fight they had in the 40s laughing at how minuscule the problem now seemed.

“I’ll leave you two for the night, it was good seeing you buck” Steve smiled, the three of you getting up from your spots.

“it was good seeing you too steve, glad to know you can still hold your own” he joked and Steve laughed, the two men hugging tightly before letting go. Steve turned to you, a smile on his face before moving towards the door.

“I’ll come get you in the morning” he called out, letting the curtains fall behind him.

Bucky let out a small sigh of relief and you looked at him, shocked at his action.

“i know you didn’t just let out a sigh of relief because he left!” You gasped and bucky blushed, turning to you before crashing his lips onto yours.

You melted into the kiss, letting yourselves get lost in the other. Your hands played with his hair, it was longer than last time. The two of you pulled away breathless, hearts racing.

“cant do that when he’s around darling” Bucky smirked, leaning in to kiss you quickly a couple more times, soft giggles leaving your lips as he beard tickled your face.

“still rude” you teased, placing soft kisses on his face as the two of you sat down, cuddled up as close as possible.

Bucky chuckled, looking at you with starry eyes and a bright smile. He swore you had never looked so pretty, sitting there with the moonlight peeking in and lightning up the small hut.

“stating is rude you know” bucky rolled his eyes, leaning in to kiss you, smiling into the kiss when you pulled him in for another.

“missed you so much doll” he mumbled, your foreheads pressed against one another, eyes closed for a second before pulling away.

“not a day goes by where i don’t think of you James” you sighed, heart sinking as you realized you would be leaving him once more in the morning.

Bucky noticed the shift in your attitude, placing his fingers under you chin and moving you to look at him.

“i promise you,” he mumbled, placing a kiss on your forehead, “once I’m free from all the shit HYDRA did to me, were gonna be together” he smiled at you softly.

“just wish it could come faster” you frowned and bucky nodded, a small smile on his face as he placed another kiss on your forehead.

“we have forever to be happy baby” he spoke, turning to you, “right?” you smiled, heart fluttering at his words.

“I’m yours forever lovebug” you assured him, moving to kiss his cheek.

“and I’m yours forever dollface” he smiled, heart racing the thought of a forever with you. Bucky wished he could fast forward and just be happy with you. But he knew he had to get through this, he just had to fight this final battle and he could be free.

Just one more fight and he could be happy, with you.

Morning came far too soon for either of your liking, waking up to the sun shining in your eyes. Your legs tangled with Buckys and his arm wrapped securely around your waist, holding you tightly.

“buck” you grumbled, wiggling to try and get out of his grip. You gave up when he never budged, waiting a couple minutes before trying again. “James” you called out, he moved a little, eyes fluttering open and landing on you with a smile.

“mornin doll” he mumbled, voice raspy and deep from sleep. He loosened his grip and let you wiggle out, stretching and letting out a yawn.

“goodmorning” you smiled sweetly, grabbing a couple things before getting ready. Bucky laid on his side, a sleepy smile on his face while he watched you get ready for the day, heart sinking a bit when he realized you would be leaving today.

“wish you could stay longer” he mumbled, his words weighed on your shoulders, causing you to slump a little and frown. You turned to look at him after you had finished getting ready, giving him a soft smile before sitting across from him.

“i do too angel, but you know how things are” he sighed softly, getting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“we still have at least two hours before steve comes, get up so we can enjoy the time we’ve got” you beamed, a bright smile on his face. Bucky admired that about you, how optimistic you were even in such an unfortunate situation.

Deep down you were upset, you were hurting and you were angry that the two of you had to go through so much to be happy. You shoved away those emotions, choosing instead to focus on what little time you had with him.

Bucky got ready quickly, giddy to get the day started. You helped him feed the goats, giggling as their fuzzy lips tickled your hand when you fed them.

“i named this one butter” he smiled, pointing a light colored sheep, “he’s kinda chubby” you teased and he gasped, a hurt expression on his face.

“i cant believe you come here and insult my goats, i raised them! they’re my children!” He teased and you rolled your eyes, walking towards him with your arms extended, he huffed, turning away from you. Laughing when he so easily melted into you after wrapping your arms around his waist, your head resting on his back.

“sorry for bullying butter, i am once again asking for forgiveness” you teased and he let out a low hum, you rolled your eyes. “I promise to not insult your goats-” Bucky turned around, brows furrowed and you groaned.

“i promise to not insult your kids, and i will give you all the kisses you want” you finished, arms crossed and bucky looked at you with a boyish smile, leaning down to kiss you.

It was quick, but it was sweet and made you swoon, smiling as he continued to pepper kisses all over your face. You yelped as one of his goats rammed his head into buckys leg.

“seems like someone wants your attention” you teased and he smiled, continuing to place the hay out along with a couple other things for them to eat.

The two of you were sitting along the bank of the river, sharing stories of what you had missed between your last visit.

“y/n!” Steve called out and your heart fell, a tight smile on your face when you saw the way Bucky’s expression fell. You squeezed his hand, kissing his temple before standing up, pulling bucky up with you as you walked back towards the hut, grabbing the backpack you had brought.

The two men talked for a bit while you gathered everything, double checking that you didn’t forget anything. You smiled as you rummaged through your backpack, holding the stack of letters you had written for bucky from the past two months.

You handed them bucky with a smile, apologizing for your handwriting in some of them.

“i already put yours in your bag doll, my handwriting is amazing” he teased and you punched him lightly.

The goodbyes always hurt, the way your heart tugged in your chest, like it was telling you to stay, that you were meant to be together.

You always ignored it, letting it only resurface at 3 am when your heart hurt and you longed for your soulmate.

Just this last fight, he just had to be truly free from HYDRA and you could be happy.

“don’t worry lovebug, I’ll see you soon” you comforted him, holding him tightly before letting go.

“see you soon” Bucky smiled, his heart sinking as you and Steve walked away, laughing when you turned around and waved at him, a bright smile on his face.

Before leaving you met with shuri, offering a couple more inputs on Buckys new arm before saying goodbye to her, she gave you a tight hug before letting you go.

You did see them soon. Although the circumstances were different. It wasn’t a ‘yay i get to see my soulmate and my friends and have a good time!’ visit.

It was more of a ‘oh god this purple guy wants some crazy crystals and is gonna kill half the universe with them please help’ kind of visit.

The plane landed and you greeted the royal family as usual, nervous as you followed shuri to her lab. Everything was moving so fast and your heart was in a frenzy. You had arrived earlier than the others, shuri sending a jet for you so you could be there when bucky got the arm.

You gasped as you saw the final product, a smile on your face as your fingers ghosted over the black and gold arm.

“shuri this is incredible!” You praised and she smirked, shrugging her shoulders.

“it’s what i do” she replied, closing the box before calling T’challa over so you could go give the arm to bucky.

“we think you should give it to him, explain to him what’s going on and all that” shuri spoke, T’challa and okoye nodding at her words.

“but-” okoye cut you off, her words gentle.

“it’s whats best for him” she assured you and you nodded, taking a deep breath as you waved goodbye to shuri.

T’challa and okoye accompanied you, a soft smile on your face as you saw him throwing the hay bales for his goats. Your smile grew when you noticed he had since gained two new friends, two cows laying down and one standing close to him.

“good to know you made new friends while i was gone” you called out, smiling as bucky looked at you with wide eyes. A smile on his face as you walked closer to him.

“doll!” He grinned, walking over to hug you as T’challa set the box down on a bale of hay. “what’s happening what’s going on? It hasn’t even been two weeks since last time” he questioned, looking at the two behind you.

“not that I’m not happy to see you but” he cut himself off, noting the fact you were suited up for a fight. You interlaced your fingers and sighed softly.

“c’mere” you spoke softly, pulling him along to the box. You have him a soft smile, letting go of his hand and opening the box.

He finally looked into the box, the shiny new vibranium arm gleaming in the sunlight. His heart fell. That’s why your heart was in frenzy, that’s why okoye and T’challa were so tense.

“wheres the fight” he spoke quietly, eyes not leaving the metal arm.

“on the way” T’challa spoke and he nodded. Okoye and T’challa left the two of you alone after explaining to bucky how to put the arm on.

You were silent, petting the goat you recognized as butter while bucky put the new arm on, changing into his suit while he was at it. Your heart ached.

One more fight, you had told yourselves for the last two years. Just one more fight and you could be together and be happy.

But the universe was cruel and decided to make the two of you wait longer, to put yet another barrier between the two of you and happiness.

it’s okay, after this fight everything will be okay

The words rang in your mind, letting out a shaky sigh. How bad could this fight be? It’s not like you hadn’t fought countless other villains before.

Bucky walked out suited and ready to go, though he was reluctant he knew it’s what had to be done. You gave him a small smile, shamelessly checking him out, not bothering to hide the smirk on your face.

“you know, under any other circumstances i would definitely not let you leave that hut” you teased and he blushed.

“I’ve only seen you suited up a couple times doll and it makes my heart face everytime” he shot back and you rolled your eyes, thinking back to when you and steve visited him immediately after a couple of missions.

The two of you walked hand in hand, getting a feel for his new arm as you made it to the plane, greeting steve with a smile and reluctantly saying hello to Sam.

You stood with bucky and Sam as you saw wakandas defenses go up, your mouth opened in awe as you watched it.

Not long after you saw something hitting it, breaking apart as it made contact and you and Sam flinched a bit.

“god i love this place” bucky spoke, watching alongside you and Sam. You heard Rhodey speak up not moments after.

“don’t start celebrating yet, we got more incoming outside the dome!” He called out, your eyes wide and you saw multiple things falling, planting themselves into the ground.

You let out a shaky breath, bucky bls your hand for a moment, squeezing it and kissing your temple.

“one more” he whispered and you smiled, nodding your head. “one more,” you repeated, hope blossoming in your chest.

You stood alongside bucky, looking back in awe as you saw all the hundreds of people, all ready to fight. Your stomach was in knots, your hands were shaky and you looked at bucky.

A small smile made its way onto your face. You would be okay.

“they surrender?” Bucky asked as steve, natasha and t’chalks returned.

“not exactly” steve sighed, you watched wide wide eyes as you all hundreds- maybe thousands of those things running towards the barrier.

You and bucky began shooting, taking out some of the ones which had made it through, sam and Rhodey already in the air. Your heart was thumping in your ears as you heard T’challa giving orders to open the barrier, bucky looked at you, eyes sparkling as he smiled at you.

“we’re gonna be okay, i promise doll” he assured you and you nodded, taking in a deep breath before taking off in a sprint alongside everyone. As the barriers opened, all of them got in, it was all a blur, shouts and groans coming from all around.

You shot as many as you could, making sure to try and keep everyone safe. You had lost bucky on the battlefield, everyone clashing. You didn’t have time to look for him as you continued shooting.

One of them knocked you over and you let out a groan, reaching for your ankle and swiftly stabbing it in the neck, cutting it open for good measure and rolling away before it’s blood could land on you.

You took the knife out, immediately throwing it and hitting one of them in the head and killing it before it could reach you. You were breathless as you continued to fight, running out of bullets.

“fuck” you whispered, eyes wide as you saw one of them running directly towards you. Scrambling to took one of your knives from a body on the floor, trying to throw it before the creature got too close. You were too late, by the time you turned around it had tackled you to the ground, sending the knife clattering to the floor.

You used all your strength to keep it from biting your head off, screaming as your limbs almost gave out.

You heard the sound of thunder above you, a bright light in the center of the battle field. You sighed out of relief when something hit the creature off of you, smiling widely as you realized who it had been.

Thor.

You got up quickly, grabbing another gun from the floor and laughing lightly when your eyes landed on the god of thunder, he was joined by a raccoon and some tree. You felt a weight lift off you shoulders.

“you guys are so screwed now!” Bruce cried out, joyous as he saw his friend.

“Bring me thanos!” Thor cried out, lightning emitting from his body as his eyes glowed, hitting the ground and electrocuting all the creatures around him.

You continued to shoot, frantic to try and minimize the number of the things on the field. It seemed like they would never stop coming, an infinite amount of them constantly bombarding you all.

The panic arose in your chest, you continued shooting, focusing on the endgame. You just had to finish this fight. You and bucky could get through this.

Your eyes were wide as you heard a deep rumbling, watching in horror as what seemed like giant spikey wheels erupted from the ground.

“fall back! fall back now!” T’challa cried out, your eyes searched for bucky, landing on him quickly and running towards him.

“y/n!” He called out, sighing in relief as he you ran next to him, stopping when you both saw wanda take some of them out.

“thought you were hurt” he spoke loudly between the gunfire, the two of you standing back to back as your shot.

“I could find you i got so worried” you replied loudly, glancing back and seeing a creature getting ready to pounce on the two of you.

“get down!” You yelled, pushing bucky to the ground and taking the knife he had strapped to his waist.

You reacted quickly, ducking slightly and thrusting the knife up into the air, the creature effectively cutting itself open, its insides pouring out as it flopped to the ground.

You helped bucky up and he smiled at you, in awe of your actions.

“thank you doll” he sighed out and you nodded, smiling for a second before going back to fighting.

“vision needs backup!” You heard over your earpiece, you and bucky turning to look at each other, nodding before taking off in a sprint towards the woody areas.

As the two of you arrived you stopped, catching your breath before realize how eerily quiet it was. Bucky looked over at you, concern on his face.

“‘M fine” you panted, wincing when you stood up straight, “just out of shape is all” you teased and bucky smiled.

“only you would make a joke while we’re about to face the most powerful being in the universe” he spoke and you smiled.

“if i don’t then who will” you shot back, walking quietly in search of the titan.

Your eyes landed on the rest of the team, running towards the titan and easily being thrown to the side, you and bucky ran together, raising your guns.

Neither of you even got a shot out before being tossed into the surrounding trees, wheezing as your back hit the trunk. You rolled on the ground, winded as you held your side.

Bucky recovered quicker than you, rushing to your side and helping you up.

“are you alright darlin?” there was worry in his voice and you managed a nod, moving to stand up, he threw your arm over his shoulder, helping you up.

You stood up with a wince, arms wrapping around him, holding him tightly and kissing his cheek before pulling away. You picked up your guns, handing one to bucky.

“ready?” you spoke and he nodded, the two of you ran to where you had last seen thanos.

Your heart dropped as you saw the mad titan snap his fingers, a bright light flashed before your eyes and bucky shielded you with his body.

When you looked back you saw his arm and the stoned sizzling, your eyes were wide and your lips trembled. No. No. this can’t happen.

“what did you do?!” Thor yelled, panic in his voice. Thanos quickly looked around, opening a portal and leaving into nothingness.

You walked over to steve quickly, bucky trailing behind you.

“Whered he go?” You spoke quietly, “where did he go!” You shouted.

“y/n?” You heard bucky say from behind you, steve and Thor looked over.

You turned your head, your eyes meeting with Buckys blue ones. The same baby blue ones you had seen on the highway, the same ones you saw on the helicarrier and when he found you after SHIELD fell.

It was the same bright blue eyes you would look into while cuddling by the lake when you visited him in wakanda.

They were wide, full of fear and panic as he looked at you and back to his hand as it turned to dust.

“bucky” you whispered, going to reach out to him, his legs turning to dust beneath him. You ran to catch him, wanting to hold him and tell him it would be okay.

You were to late, getting only a handful of dust as you reached for him. You felt your heart break in your chest, a pain you had never felt before. Falling to your knees you touched the ground, letting out a shaky breath and trying to calm yourself.

You shook your head, teary eyes as you watched those around you turn to dust.

“Sam!” You heard Rhodey call out. You could hear okoye shouting for t’challa.

You looked at steve in thor, hot tears in your face as you sobbed quietly.

You looked at your hands, ready for them to turn to dust, you could see the way they shook even through your teary vision.

A moment passed and nothing happened, you looked at your legs, expecting them to fade away but they never did.

No. No, not again. You shook your head, bringing your hands to your chest and curling into yourself.

“i cant lose him again” you whispered to yourself, “not when i was just getting him back, not when he was barely in my grasp”

You wiped away your tears as you heard natasha run to where Rhodey, Bruce, rocket steve and you were. You watched silently as steve flipped over visions body, your stomach hurt at the sight of it.

“what the hell is happening?” Rhodey spoke, looking around as steve let himself fall to the floor.

It was quiet as all of you looked around, natasha’s eyes landing on your broken expression. Your eyes were red, and you looked at steve, hoping he knew what to do.

“oh god” he let out, breathless as he looked around.

“I’m yours forever doll, no matter what happens” bucky smiled at you, his eyes bright as you bit your lip to hold back your smile. You handed him a gun, everyone around you running to get in position.

“and I’m yours forever my lovebug, we can get through this” you assured him, holding out your pinky as he quickly looped it in yours, bringing it to his chest and pulling you into his arms.

“one more fight” you whispered, the hope that you had wilted away, you grasped onto the flashes of the future you had seen.

—

taglist ! (send me an ask if you want to be added!)

@felicityofbakerstreet @newyork47 @classygirlything @ebxny27 @hhaydenn @miaangel24 @shawnie--jo @quinnmaddie @mugscraps @bucky-32557038 @marvelfansworld @hey-there-angels @buckys2thicc @groovyvalentine @daughterofthemoon92 @livetay84 @pearlruth @euphoniumpets @lady-loki-ren @pastel-boy-sungjae

[thishintoflove]

“I Think He Knows” - A Kingsman Fanfic

TSwift Songfic Week Day 5

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x M!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Explicit (Pining, dirty talk, hand jobs, oral sex)

A/N: I feel like there’s a lack of M/M in the Pedro cinematic universe fandom, so here’s some bisexual Whiskey having a good time with a fellow male agent.

Summary: You and Agent Whiskey are paired together for an out-of-state mission. On your last night, your pining and his flirting finally come to a head.

I think he knows his hands around

A cold glass

Make me wanna know that body

Like it's mine

The mission was long but you were finally finished with it. Three weeks in Dallas were more than enough for you, and you were looking forward to getting home to your own bed and your own office in Kentucky. You were aching for the privacy it offered, after spending almost a month sharing a hotel room with your fellow agent. This time you’d been paired up with Agent Whiskey, and because of that you were glad the trip was almost over.

It’s not because Agent Whiskey- Jack - was incapable. Quite the opposite. He was extremely efficient and good at his job but he was also… extremely attractive. Which was a huge distraction.

You took pride in being a capable agent but Jack and his pretty face compromised that. You’ve never been in a situation like this before. Lusting over your coworker felt extremely unprofessional, but it was impossible to ignore him. He was an in-your-face kind of guy, always butting in with a comment or joke, always using his body as a weapon. He’d lounge around your shared hotel room in nothing but a thin towel, his wet hair draped across his forehead, and you swear he did it on purpose. The man knew how attractive he was and he obviously loved flaunting it.

He was tall and tan, with soft brown hair, a pair of beautiful round eyes that seemed to sparkle with amusement, and a smile that made your knees weak. The downside was that his smile made just about everyone weak. You were living in your own personal hell. Every single day having to watch Jack be attractive without even trying, and then watch as everyone in his vicinity tried to flirt with him. Tonight he was wearing a black leather jacket and extremely tight jeans, looking more like a movie star than an undercover agent. The man could pull off anything. It’s actually unfair.

You were out at some dive bar, celebrating the end to a successful mission before flying home tomorrow. It was Jack’s idea of course, but you’d agreed because you needed a stiff drink after these three long weeks and honestly you couldn’t say no to him.

“Another round, kid?”

You glanced up and saw him staring at you, a twinkle in his bright eyes. His hand gripped his empty whiskey glass and you eyed your own half-full drink. You couldn’t throw it back like him.

“I’m good for now,” you answered.

He nodded and slapped you on the shoulder as he stood up, “I’ll get you another one anyway. You better finish that by the time I get back.”

You sighed as you watched him walk away. His ass looked fantastic in those jeans. All the training and harsh exercise routines that Champ put the team through really worked for him. No wonder he could get any pretty thing he wanted.

Speaking of which, he seemed to have turned his affections on someone else. You groaned, your eyes never wavering from where Jack stood. He was currently making small talk with the pretty brunette bartender. He was giving her the full Whiskey treatment- gazing at her with those soft, mocha-colored puppy dog eyes and giving her a charming half-grin. Watching him flirt was simultaneously entertaining and torturous. He threw his head back, laughing at some dumb joke the bartender must have said, and you almost growled out loud as you hungrily stared at his neck.

Stupid horny bastard.

He got that boyish look that I like in a man

I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans

It's like I'm seventeen, nobody understands

No one understands

You were getting really sick of hiding your partial hard-ons and jacking off in the cold shower, but everything the man did was hot. The deep voice and accent alone were enough to get you going on most days. God, you hadn’t felt like this since high school.

If Jack noticed you staring or caught on to the fact that you took extra long showers, he didn’t say anything. You were openly out at the agency and your sexuality wasn’t a secret. When you first joined the Statesmen, you felt you had something to prove at work, as if you had to demonstrate your masculinity by keeping up with the largest members of the team. But you’ve excelled in your role for years now and you were beyond proving yourself at this point. You were just glad that Agent Whiskey wasn’t one of the people who cared that you liked men.

In fact, he treated you just like he treated everyone-- this meant he wasn’t shy about flirting and teasing you. Sometimes it seemed like he was coming onto you, but you had to remind yourself that he was like that with everyone-- you weren’t special and there was no way he was actually interested.

Before falling asleep each night, you’d listen to Jack’s soft snores and run scenarios through your head of every possible way that you could share your feelings. You thought about all of the things you could say, and all of the ways Jack could react. It was agonizing but your analytical mind couldn’t stop. You wished you had the courage to just ask him out. The worst that could happen is he’d say ‘no’ and maybe request to never work with you again, but then at least you’d be free of him.

Wanna see what's under that attitude

Like, I want you, bless my soul

And I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

A loud laugh suddenly interrupted your thoughts and you looked over to the bar again. The bartender was giggling and grasping at Jack’s arm. The sight made your stomach turn, and you made a quick decision to get out of there before you had to watch them start making out over the bar.

You stepped up next to Jack and finally drew his attention away from the girl.

“Hey, hold off on my drink. I’m gonna head out,” you told him.

“What? Come on now, it’s so early!”

“Yeah. I just don’t really feel like hanging out anymore. I’ll see you back there.”

Before Jack could respond, you threw down some cash on the bar and turned away. You were already across the floor and on your way out the door when a hand on your arm stopped you.

“Hey. Are you pissed at me or something?”

“No,” you muttered, trying to ignore the shot of arousal you felt when he grabbed you, “I just don’t feel like sitting in the corner, watching you flirt with some chick.”

You tried to turn away from him, but Jack let out a quiet “ohhh” of understanding. His grip on your arm tightened.

“We’ve been on this mission for weeks now, and on our last night you finally decide to say something?” Jack laughed, turning you around so you were facing him again. He invaded your personal space, ducking his head and trailing his nose along your neck and jaw.

“What?” you asked, confused because he couldn’t possibly mean...

“You're so slow, that’s what,” Jack mumbled, his lips tracing along your neck. It felt amazing, but... was Jack- your fellow agent and known womanizer- really nuzzling your neck right now?

“I'm confused, are you really into this?” you asked again, trying to hold back a moan. Jack pulled away and looked at you with huge eyes.

“God, you’re an idiot. I've been sending you obvious signs, makin’ eyes at you and showing off what I got, and now I'm literally biting your neck, and you're still asking?” Jack said incredulously. You searched his face and saw eyes that were filled with desperation and lust.

“I just assumed…”

“I like it both ways, kid. Is that clear enough for you?”

He then took one step forward and kissed you fully on the lips. There was only a moment of shock before you melted into the kiss, pressing your bodies closer and running your hands over Jack’s shoulders and back. All of your worries disappeared then. You didn't feel the terrible anxiety that constantly filled you with dread. Your mind stopped frantically thinking about every possible worst case scenario. Everything stopped. There was only Jack.

“Oh ohhhh right. Yeah I’m an idiot,” you quietly mumbled against his lips, “Want to go back to the hotel?”

“Fuckin’ finally,” he replied with a grin.

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

So where we gonna go?

I whisper in the dark

You weren’t sure how you made it back to the hotel so quickly, but as soon as you tumbled through the door, Jack had you pinned to the bed underneath him. His hands roamed all over your torso, and he pulled the shirt over your head and tossed it aside before quickly doing the same to his own. The room was filled with your little whimpers every time Jack ground his hips against yours. You stared up at him, his lips swollen and red bitten and eyes blown with lust, and you were positive that you looked just as debauched. He looked just as beautiful hovering over you as you’d always imagined, and you wanted to feel him everywhere.

“More,” you whined, canting your hips up into Jack’s.

He groaned and trailed his hands down your chest, his fingers brushing against your nipples, causing a moan to slip from your mouth. He continued his journey down until he reached the fly of your jeans.

“Lift up,” Jack mumbled, leaning in to kiss your neck as he tried to tug your pants down. You obeyed and soon your pants and your boxers were off, leaving you completely exposed.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he moaned, his fingers barely brushing over your erection, “You’re even prettier than I thought, darlin’.”

You groaned, pushing your body closer to Jack’s. As his hand slowly learned the feel of your cock, your own hands wandered all over his body. From his strong shoulders to his muscular back, to his waist, his hips, his thick thighs. You slipped one hand into his jeans to grab his ass, finally getting the chance to touch the part of Jack’s body you’d fantasized about the most. You could feel his clothed erection rubbing against your thigh as Jack continued steadily stroking your cock.

“Jack,” you whimpered, gazing into his dark, lust-filled eyes. You were barely able to control your thoughts properly since Jack’s pace was getting quicker and way too distracting. He grinned down at you.

“This good, baby? You want it a little rougher?” he asked, a groan slipping from his lips as you squeezed his ass in response.

Jack pushed forward and kissed you harder this time, moving his hand faster along your cock. Then he kissed his way down your neck, sucking and nipping all your sensitive spots. Suddenly he bit down hard on the skin between your neck and shoulder, following it up with a long lick with his wide tongue. That show of possessiveness was enough to push you right to the edge. You cried out as pleasure tore through you, coming in ropes all over Jack’s large hand. You gasped for breath, your chest rising and falling as your head lolled against the pillows.

Jack hovered over you, continuing to kiss your neck and upper chest as you came down from your high. “I’ve been told I’m good with my hands, can I get a confirmation on that, darlin'?“ he asked with a cocky grin.

Your eyes blinked open and you smirked at him. “You’ve got the confirmation all over your hand.”

“Ooooh, so he’s mouthy all of a sudden. Guess I just had to get you in bed to see the sassy side of you, huh?” Jack tutted.

“I’ll show you mouthy,” you muttered, blushing at the stupid euphemism even as you trailed a line of kisses down Jack’s sternum and belly.

When you reached the top of his jeans, you surprised your fellow agent by flipping him over and yanking his pants down in one fluid motion. Jack growled at the switch, but when you took his cock into your mouth, he gasped and surged forward. You enjoyed the desperate moan he made as you swallowed him completely, his hips bucking into your mouth. But you wanted to take your time with this. You grasped his hip bone with one hand and held him down, before pulling off his cock and moving to lightly lick his balls. Jack was making beautiful, desperate noises and you loved the idea that this strong, confident agent was falling apart because of you. You smiled against him and swiped your tongue along the bottom of his shaft before taking him fully into your mouth again.

“Holy hell, you’re fuckin’ amazing,“ Jack groaned as you bobbed up and down on his cock, “I’m so close-”

You sucked harder and reached your other hand down to fondle his balls again as Jack thrust into your mouth. Soon he was arching forward and shouting your name. You let him come in your mouth, swallowing his seed down like it was another shot at the bar.

When you looked up at Jack from between his legs, you grinned. He had his head tilted back, one hand thrown across his mouth as he stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily. When he felt your eyes on him, he looked down at you with a satisfied smile.

“Damn, that was…”

“Amazing,” you cut him off, “Even better than I imagined.”

“So you imagined it, huh?”

Unable to control the urge any longer, you leaned forward and pulled Jack into a sweet, affectionate kiss. You ran your fingers through his soft hair and you could feel him grinning the whole time. When you finally pulled back, he was still smiling but he also looked a bit confused.

“Why haven’t we done this sooner?” he asked.

“I was convinced you were straight. I’ve been a fucking mess trying to decide if I should say something or not,” you replied.

Jack hummed and reached for you, but you chuckled and pulled away.

“You need a shower,” you said, “Then we can talk some more.”

“Only if you join me, sugar...”

I want you, bless my soul

I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

[afro-hispwriter]

ALICIA CLARK X FEM DIXON READER

After Ricks disappearance (twd) and Fixing the plane era(ftwd)

F/I- first initial

Warnings- language, implied smut

a/n- i wrote this a long time ago, its been posted on on wattpad for a while so i decided to post it on here… Enjoy!

Rick was gone, things were falling apart. Your dad, Daryl left the communities to join search parties all the way until he was the last one searching. Michonne and you wanted to keep looking but her pregnancy was to far along, and you basically took care of her and Judith. The atmosphere feels familiar just like when Carl died, you and him were best friends, you supported him in every one of this decisions even helped him get with Enid.

But this felt worse.

The person who has made sure everybody survives is dead. The man who was a mentor to you, the man who saved your father in countless occasions is dead. Morgan left almost 2 years ago and nobody heard from him. You knew Rick and him were close, he helped Rick when he came out of hospital. He deserves to know what happened and you will make sure of it.

-

"I want to go out and see the world for myself and I want to find Morgan." You said at dinner to Michonne and surprisingly who joined your dad.

"Excuse me what, you want to leave a whole state and travel to Texas just to see the world and find Morgan and for what?" Asked Michonne raising an eyebrow. Your dad sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"I agree kid. Why?" He asked looking at you.

"Ok first I'm pretty sure I'm 18, I'm supposed to be enrolling for college planning out my life, seeing what else is out there. I can take of myself of the time I have been surging in this world I can make it I'm sure if it. And second all of us know how much Rick meant to Morgan, I can go to Texas and tell him what happened maybe he will even come back even if it's for a little bit." You said enthusiastically. The adults shook their heads taking in the information.

"I'll think about it." Said your dad and Michonne nodded going back to eating.

"There's gotta be another reason you wanna leave." Said Daryl as you walked to your home.

"I already said why Dad." You said looking ahead

"No, you didn't I know ma own kid." He said stopping and he grabbed your arm so you would stop as well making you roll your eyes.

"I hate the atmosphere that is going on, it's like when Carl died but worse and I hate it. I just need to go, I need fresh air Dad, i need to see whats out there maybe even help people." You said throwing your arms in the air looking up at the sky. Daryl smiled, you would always talk about helping people when you were just 4 years old. But now that the apocalypse happened he never thought he'd actually have to let you be on your own anytime soon, maybe it was time.

"Alrigh I'll talk to Michonne tomorrow, I'll get ya that trip." He said and you smiled before pulling him into a big hug.

"Thank you father." You said and he chuckled.

-

"Ok y/n, ya have a high range walkie(i know those don't exist for very long distances)for when you get farther and farther away from ere and you have food to last a month or so and water for a week or two. And gas in the car to last Ya couple miles at least to get out of Virginia. A map, a gun with 2 rounds, and please try to put notes or something out there to tell me your alive, please I don't want to go out lookin for ya. Cant loose you kid." Said your dad who it was clear was very nervous on letting you leave.

"I'll be fine dad, I have been taught from the best of the best." You said and then you saw his eyes water.

"No, no dad don't cry because then I will. We have to be strong i promise I'll be fine. We agreed on 2 months if I'm gone more than that or if you don't hear from me when those months come to an end you come looking for me." You said holding back the tears.

"I know kid, I know it's just ya growin to fast." He said looking at you.

"Fuck it come ere kid." He said and pulled you in for a tight hug. You hugged him back hard, soaking up his affection, which definitely doesn't come everyday. You pulled away and looked up at him.

"I'll be fine dad ok, I'll be back." You said and backed up, everybody stood around and you waved before looking at Michonne and pointed at her belly.

"I better be godmother when I come back." You said smiling

"Yes ma'am." She said with a smile on her face. You got in the car and turned it on, you had some doubts on leaving but knew this has to happen. Your dad came to the window and leaned on it and you took in a breathe.

"Please don't loose yourself, if you have to stop stop. Don't leave the people who care about you." You told your dad and he sighed knowing exactly what you meant by that. He was looking for Rick so much it was taking him away from you. Daryl stepped back and you smiled at everybody and waved.

"I'll be back in 2 months I promise." You announced and they all smiled, you put the car in drive and drove off watching the gates close behind you.

"Y/n can you hear me." Your dad said over the walkie and you grabbed it.

"Yeah dad I can hear you."

-

You got to Tennessee right before the car stopped. You sighed and looked around to see if there was anything a car or a store. You grabbed the walkie and took in a breathe, please work, you thought.

"Dad can you hear me?" You asked and heard static then his voice.

"Ya I can, ya alright?" He asked

"Ya I'm fine, I'm in Tennessee but I think that soon probably a couple more miles you won't be able to hear me so im starting with the notes." You said and held back tears.

"Alright I love ya." You heard him sniffile before the walkie went out.

"I love you to dad." You said and out the walkie away and grabbed the pack. You opened the pack and grabbed the note book and pen. You wrote, STILL ALIVE- F/I, and looked for a place to put it. After an hour you found a gas station and put the note on the counter under a rock.

"Dad not sure if you can hear me but, if you do come for me I'm leaving notes in stores." You put the walkie back and grabbed your knife and stabbed a walker that came for you.

-

Almost 13 days (that's what google said). 13 days and nights of running and hiding from herds. Avoiding people, some you had to kill. Your feet hurt even after taking a days break in Arkansas but you finally have reached Texas. Not knowing where Morgan is you decided to use the walkie every few miles in. You looked at the map and Texas was huge, it could take a few weeks to find him, if he is even alive. But you needed a break so you needed to find somewhere safe. You found a house that looked safe enough so you cleared it, only 3 walkers where in it.

You set up a fire and out a can of beans over the fire. You grabbed the map and decided where you should head to next.

(A/n- I read that season 5 of fear is filmed in New Braunfels, Texas and its near Austin soon)

Austin, Texas, in school in Alexandria the teacher said Austin is pretty popular. Morgan could be there so that's where you would start. You took a 2 days rest and even found a lake to bathe in, after getting supplies you made your way to Austin. You left a note at the WELCOME TO TEXAS sign and left another at store the another. There was a hotel a little father form the house and out another there.

After a day or so you were closer to Austin and decided it's time to try with the Walkie.

"Morgan, it's Y/n I'm in Texas, I don't know if your alive but I'm here." You said and put the walkie away after no answer. You walked for what seemed hours when you saw the Austin sight and grabbed the walkie.

"Morgan I'm in Austin." You said into the walkie and decided to start trying different channels as you repeated the question though each. You tried the last channel and was about to put it away when you heard voices and your heart sped up.

"Morgan?" You asked and kept moving the circle to hear it more clearly.

"John, June you there." Someone said, it was a deep voice and noticed it was Morgan's voice.

"Morgan, Morgan, it Y/n Dixon from Alexandria, please hear me." You said pleading to yourself.

"Y/n wha-." He started. "What are you doing out here so far, where are you?" He asked.

"Umm I'm by the Welcome to Austin sign. Where are you maybe I can find you." You said and out down to the ground pulling the map out."

"I have two people close to you y/n, don't be alarmed their names are John and June." He said and you sighed.

"Ok." You said wearily.

"John, June did you hear that." Asked Morgan and a female bodice came through.

"We hear you Morgan, on our way Y/n." A man said.

"Hang tight y/n." Said Morgan and you sat back. You grabbed a paper and pen and wrote. FOUND MORGAN. You sat there for a while when a car approached and stopped next to you, you raised you knife reading to attack of nesassary. The window went down and the man and woman out there hands up.

"Hold on hold on young lady I'm John and this is June, we come to get you." John said and you hesitated.

"We won't hurt you i promise." June said. You nodded and grabbed your stuff and opened the car. You sat down and watched John and June's every move.

"So where did you come from?" Asked John and you sighed.

"Long story." You breathed out a laugh and they smiled.

"Guess we will know about it after you meet Al." Said June and you cocked your head to the side.

"Who's Al?" You asked wearily.

"She was journalist before and she interviews everybody on their stories." Said John and you nodded.

-

"Morgan, who is y/n?" Asked Alicia as she and Luciana approached him.

"She's comes from Virginia and Alexandria like me, she's around your age Alicia." Said Morgan smiling and Alicia rolled her eyes.

-

The car came to a stop out some gates and they opened. The car pulled in and people crowded around. John and June got out and your door opened revealing Morgan. You got out of the car and hugged him before pulling away to look over all the people. It was a whole bunch of little kids then a whole bunch of adults.

You looked around and your eyes fell on a very pretty girl with brown hair and hazel eyes. Her eyes where on you but they seemed defensive like yours at the moment. You felt uncomfortable and Morgan said to clear a path so you could sit down.

-

"I have been walking for almost 20 days, Car broke down when I reached Tennessee." You said to Al and she smiled. Everybody else was sitting around eating dinner as they heard your story how you arrived here.

"You have any family, back in Virginia?" She asked and you nodded.

"I have my dad, and more people who became my family, we have lost some but they will never be replaced." You said.

"Lover?" She asked and you shook your head no.

"Nope pretty much a virgin." You said and they all laughed.

Alicia started at you slowly relaxing that you were not a threat, all of them did.

"Why did you come here?" Asked Al and you sighed.

"I was 12 when the world started, I'm like 18 now. I'm supposed to be enrolling into college now, planning out my life going to go see what's out there. The apocalypse may have happened but I still want that chance. And Morgan I need to tell you something, privately." You said and he looked at you concerned. He gave Al a look and she shut the camera off then got the film. He stood up and you followed, he stopped just a few feet from everybody and waited for you to speak.

"Ricks gone." You said. "Gone not dead, just gone it's like he disappeared." You said looking down, thinking about that day.

"Wha- what how, what happened." He asked.

"Bridge explosion, he saved everybody." You said and Morgan nodded then you heard someone clear their throat.

"I'm sorry Morgan." Said June, you looked at him confused.

"I told them about Virginia, they how me and Rick go back." He said and you nodded.

"They haven't the body?" He asked and you shook your head.

"No, my dad, he has been looking out there by the bridge everyday, Michonne is pregnant with Ricks kid and she's about to give birth so she can't look anymore. And I was practically taking care of Judith so I couldn't either. And others have their own thing." You said and Morgan nodded again before walking off. You sighed and and smiled at the group.

"Anything else you guys want to know about me?" You asked and Al came forward.

"I want to know about the king and the tiger." Said Al and you nodded walking back to the fire.

-

You told everybody what you needed to know. Your guard was down long ago, you kept sneaking glances at the girl who's name is Alicia and she looked back at you as well. You got ready for bed when you were approached by Alicia.

"We never had a formal introduction, I'm Alicia Clark." She said holding her hand out and you shook it.

"Y/n Dixon."

You talked the night until you fell asleep from exhaustion. You learned about her family, all the things she has been through and you shared hers. She told you about her boyfriends and you felt a pang of jealousy, 'Gosh y/n you don't even know this girl,' you told your self. You fell asleep after an hour and Alicia put a blanket over you and whispered goodnight and left. You woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and got up. You looked in the mirror and braided your hair into two. You went outside and the people started building some type of plane. You approached Alicia as she was talking through a microphone looking at parts. She saw you approach and she smiled, you then looked up and saw a plane.

"Hey what's with the plane, didn't see that last night?" You asked Lucianna as you approached her, she smiled and sighed.

"A few weeks ago we were on a plane and we crashed landed a few miles from here, we actually came from here at first so we came back. Those kids they left biters out there tied up to keep us away, because it's not safe. We gained their trust and we are building this plane so we can get out of this place." She said sun you nodded you looked over the people and your eyes fell on him.

"Dwight?" You said sternly and he looked at you eyes widening.

"Mini Dixon, what are you doing out here?" He asked and you glared at him grabbing your knife when you felt a hang go to it, you saw Morgan shaking his head to stand down.

"What are you doing here, I thought you were dead?" You asked him.

"I'm lookin for Sherry, my wife, not trying to cause any trouble." He said and raised his good arm as a surrender. You nodded and stood down every body who watched went back to what they were doing. Alicia came in-front of you with a concerned look.

"So what's your story with him?" She asked

"He served the man who killed two people of my family and kept my father in a cage keeping him like an animal." You said looking at her with hard eyes.

You lended you knowledge on fixing things with the plane. It's clear they were grateful on your help, you fixed the engine to the best of your ability.

"Y/n want to come with me to a ware house, we need more parts." Said Alicia and you nodded. You made your way down and smiled at her.

-

Small Alicia POV

Gosh she is so beautiful. I met her yesterday and I feel like I have known her since forever. Call me crazy but I'm starting to get feelings for her already.

-

Regular POV

The butterflies in your stomach were almost painful when you were near Alicia. She was gorgeous, you felt like you could tell her everything and you almost have from Atlanta to now. You grabbed your backpack, emptying it out of anything that was worth leaving just encase. You took your knives and gun and left to find Alicia. She was waiting outside a car and got in when she saw you. You sat in the drivers seat and looked to see if anybody else was going, luckily no one was there.

"Anybody else going?" You asked and she shook her head.

"Do you have a problem with it, because I can get someone to come with us may-." She started but you shook your head no.

"I have no problem at all." You said and winked making her cheeks flush red. She drove to the warehouse and she told you the parts to look out for as well as food. You took out two walkers with your knives and looked back to see Alicia looking at you with awe.

"Never taken out biters with knives really." She said chuckling. You looked down and saw a metal pole that was sharpened at the edges.

"Well I mean that pole is badass, where did you get it, might need to get myself one." You asked.

"A water park." She said smiling and you nodded.

"Alright tell you what I teach you how to fight with knifes and we stay a little longer to find a pole similar to yours. Deal?" you asked holding your hand out. She thought for a second and took your hand and shook it.

"Ok come here stand in-front of me." You said as two walkers approached you both. She stood infront of you and you handed her your knives, you stood close to her.

"Now, you going to want to dodge them, go in between them. Remember you have to use strength to kill them just cant push it in. I'll be here just encase." You said. The walkers go closer and Alicia tightened her grip on the knives.

"Go you said." And she ducked as they swung at her, you backed up out of reach then one by one they were both put out.

"That was great, remember you gotta faster and if you have someone behind you, let's say as kid you have to push them back, maybe use you leg or arm. Even an adult if they don't notice you have to act quick." You said and she nodded cleaning the knives.

"Thanks I'll definitely use that, after I find knives." She said.

"If you can get a hunting knife there much stronger and lighter." You said and she nodded. You found a majority of the parts needed and headed back to the car.

"I found this." She said and handed you a metal pole with holes in it. You grabbed it and smiled at you, you got one of your knives and it's holster and handed it to her.

"Thank you Alicia, as a true thanks here's one of my knives, work with one just for now you will go better I just know of it." You said and she smiled brightly.

"Thank you, now let's get back and we can sharpen the edge." She said and started the car.

You kissed her cheek and pulled back getting a red face. You looked at her though the corner of your eye and saw her face was red.

-

When you arrived back to the truck stop, she helped sharpen the metal pole. You and her had a flirty thing going on for the rest of the month until you started feeling sexual tension start to arise. The stares would last long as well as lingering touches, she thought you how to use the pole and you taught her knives. Everybody shared their knowledge with you and you did with them.

The plane was just about finished when you realized if they finish the plane you may loose them, loose her.

"So, where do you guys plan on going after getting the rest of your group?" You asked Alicia as she ate dinner, sitting on the ground.

"Not sure, definitely leave this area." She said and you nodded seeing how bad the area is, you sat down next to her and she offered some of her dinner but you waved it off.

"Maybe fly to Virginia." She said lowly and you looked at her like she was crazy.

"I'm just playing can't risk another crash, especially where the girl I likes home is." She said and looked at you. Your face went red and the butterflies in your stomach, she grabbed your chin and pulled your face closer to hers.

"Y/n Dixon I like you a lot, it's ok if you don't but-." She said but you silenced her with a kiss. She pulled you in harder making you moan, she set her dinner down and you pushed her on the ground, straddling her. You looked up and saw there were people still around so you pulled away.

"Want to take me to your tent?" You asked and she nodded, you got off her and held your hand out which she gladly took. She led you to her tent opening it and pulled you inside. You slid your shirt off and she did the same.

She looked at yours left arm and stomach and noticed a beautiful tattoos.

(This but all around the forearm)

(Something like that)

"Didn't know you had tattoos." She said and scratched her head.

"Oh yeah... do they bother you?" You asked.

"No no they are actually really hot." She said making you blush. You walked over to her and pushed her onto the makeshift bed.

"Wait crap I've never had sex with-." She started and you kissed her.

"It's ok, I'll teach you." You said and she looked at you confused.

"After Carl died, his girlfriend, Enid, and me got close and we ended up in bed together. It was just one night didn't mean anything." You said and stroked her hair.

"Didn't say that in the interview." She said and leaned back letting you crawl on top of her.

"Some things are just not to be meant to be said." You said and winked at her. You went down and captured her lips, she raised her hands and caressed your sides. You laid down on her putting your weight on her body making her moan.

"Just relax let me do the work." You said and trailed down her stomach.

a/n- once ftwd season 6 comes to hulu I’ll be able to continue my part 2

[meloswifeyyy]

Relationship Alphabet

A - Attitude

Who often has the worst Attitude ?

Well, you obviously. Most of the time because you are hungry or you and Melo just got out of an argument. Melo usually fucks the attitude out of you anywhere, anytime tho.

B - Baby

Who wants Babies the most - first ?

Melo. He often jokes about having kids or when you are having sex he would whisper in your ear  “You trynna have my babies?” or  “You boutta have my babies ” when he nuts in you. He says that he wants 3 or more. You only want 2. You arent rushing into it.

C - Crying 

Who Cries the most in the relationship ?

You. You often cry alone when you miss Melo when he is at away games for so long. Or when your BP triggers, Melo would comfort you. When watching sad movies, or when someone you love dies. Tears of joys appear here and there. Or when you get into arguments and Melo says something wrong or disrespectful out of madness.

D - Dates 

Who has the best Date spots ?

Melo. He would often take you to fancy restaurants in L.A or Miami, or wherever you guys went. Or take you shopping at an expensive place. He would do dates at home like watching movies, have you cook dinner because he cant cook for shit, or he would have a bath waiting on you. 

E - Eat 

Who Eats the most ?   

You. You know damn well you cant survive without food. Its the 2nd best thing that has ever happened to you besides life and Melo. Cant even survive a night. If you would wake up in the middle of the night and get hungry and go to kitchen and try to sneak some food without waking Melo up, he would hear it and go to the kitchen and scare you, picking you up over his shoulder with one arm, and with the other putting the food away carrying you back to the bed because its a little to early in the morning to be eating. 

F - Freak 

Who is the Freakiest ?  

Both of you. You being the only girl that can fuck Melo like you do, and being the only girl Melo is sexually, physically, and mentally attracted to no other girl can do it like you.10/10 in bed. Now Melo on the other hand is a demon in bed. His strokes, hitting your G - Spot constantly with you feeling it in your guts. His 9 inch is almost  always on hard when he is around you. And his tongue is crazy, going in and out and on the pearl AT THE SAME TIME. Crazy right. Spelling his name out on you. He loves when you scratch his back up or give him hickeys everywhere. 10000/10. Makeup sex is the best. 

G - Games 

Who wins the most games ?  

Melo. He would always dare you to a game of Call of Duty or Fortnite to see who would win first. And he would always win. When you would play a game of Uno you would often win and he would be mad the rest of the day due to his competitiveness. But any other game he would win.

H - Happy

Who is the Happiest in the relationship ?  

Both of you. You are always happy when you guys are around each other. Even when you guys just got done arguing you are still happy that he is in your presence. Melo on the other hand is always happy with you around him, he loves to cuddle with you. Its one of his favorite thing to do. He just loves that you are in his presence. You are his other half.

I - Irreplaceable

Who is the most Irreplaceable ?  

You would say Melo but Melo would say you. Melo knows how to deal with you more than anyone else does. He knows all your spots and what you like and dont like. He notices all of your flaws and sees the good and beautiful in them. He knows your body, mind, and soul. No man has a better or brighter or bigger smile than him. He always brightens the mood. You on the other hand are different. A big beautiful smile. You know how to deal with Melo when he is sad, looses a game. You can tell when he is lying or telling the truth just by looking through his eyes. You know how to make him happy. You are the best he has ever had.

J - Jaded 

Who gets the most Jaded after doing something ?

Melo. He usually gets really bored after sitting in the house all day. He really wants to leave the house and do something fun but usually its night time and you would be taking a nap or would be sleep. 

K - Kisses

Who gives the most kisses?

Melo. He is always so clingy and that comes with all the kisses in the world. He kisses you all over your face in your sleep, even when you are sleep he gives you kisses. He loves to kiss all over your body.

L - Love

Who fell in love the fastest?

Melo. He had always had a crush on you and everyone knew you were the one for him. You just didn’t know it until you two started dating. He’s always making sure you are good. He loves your hugs. He was the first one to say “I love you”. He want kids you to have all 10 of his kids.

M - Motivation

Who gives the most motivation?

You. When melo is going to a game and is not having a good feeling about it you motivate him to push through it and win for you. 9/10 he will win or get a lot of points for you.

N - Night Owl

Who is more of a Night Owl?

Both of you. Sometimes when his ADHD is on 10 you guys stay up and listen to music, play games, go on ig live, or just fuck for 7 hours straight. Sometimes you have to tell him to got to sleep or put him to sleep (😏) because he has a game tomorrow and needs all the rest and energy he can get. It also the same for you.

O - Oral Sex

Who gives Oral Sex the most?

Melo. Trust me, you give him head a lot and it’s amazing, 10/10. But melo loves giving you head. He loves to spell his name out on you. Loves to see the faces to make you scream and shout. Loves sharing your cream with you (🥲). He loves to climb under the blanket while you are sleep for some breakfast in bed. Maybe even dinner. His lips make it even better. So glad he don’t got them white genes in his lips (😋😭).

P - Perfect

Whos perfect?

Obviously, no ones perfect but God (🙏🏾). But in your eyes no one else is better for you except melo. You couldnt imagine living life without him. Cant imagine what anyones elses kids would look like with you but. No relationship is perfect. Melo sees you as perfect. Your body. Your style. Your personality. He absolutely loves your touch. He loves touch but for you loving your touch is an understatement. He couldnt imagine his kids with anyone else but you. Cant imagine getting married with anyone else. When you guys get into arguments and sleep in seperate rooms. You barely get sleep because all you can think about is each other. How perfect you guys are for one another.

Q - Q? (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it.)

R - Relate

What traits do you guys have a like each other?

A lot. Both of your favorite food is Chicken tacos. You both love a good game of Uno. You both love sex. Duhh. Both of you guy’s love language is touch. Love playing fortnite together. Love listening to music and taking drives together. Both love lil uzi (we pretending yall💀). Just in general you guys are very alike.

S - Sex

(No question for this one lol. Y’all already know how we is round hea nahhmeannn😭)

The sex. Omgggg. The first time you and melo had sex was. So amazing. Can’t ever forget that moment. Melo is always so horny. Morning sex is the best. Sometimes a little top at the red light can turn into a few rounds in back of the McDonalds parking lot. Lucky enough all his windows tinted as hell. Or in the Victoria’s Secret fitting rooms. You guys could be listening to Chris Brown and he would really take you down, fuck you back to sleep, switch up the tempo, or make you wet the bed (i’m laughing hard ash). The hickeys. The high sex. Drunk sex (drunnnnkkk in lovvveee). Car sex. Balcony sex. All over the house sex ( i got bars.) Mad sex and Make up sex. I could go on. Sex with me so amazinggggg. (i was listening to this song while writing this one💀😫😫😫)

T - Trips

Who likes taking trips internationally?

Melo. He love to take you and a yearly or even monthly vacay. Just you and him. Turks and Caicos. Bora Bora. Jamaica. Iceland. Japan. Africa. Anywhere where you can get away from the world. The different places. The hotels. Being able to fuck anywhere and everywhere. The pools. The different air. (united states ait is so boring). The new food. The animals. You guys love the new places. He loves to see you happy and with a smile on your face.

U - U (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it.)

V - V (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it again.)

W - Right the Wrongs

Who rights their wrongs after an argument?

Usually it would be you first. If you said something that was out of pocket or melo didnt like you woukd quickly apologize. He would forgive you and still cuddle and kiss you and stuff because thats what he does. Tease you. But he would ignore you until he actually forgave you in his head. Melo would apologize and give you some bomb ass d for and apology. Or make that cute face that you can’t resist.

X - (Can’t find a word for X. Give me a suggestion and i will edit it)

Y - Young

Who acts like a Young ass child?

Both of you actually. That’s what makes you love each other the most. The laughs and jokes, the tv shows, everything you could think of. It’s nothing wrong with it at all. Y’all are always gonna bust a joke out at the right time. Maybe sometimes even the wrong time. (damn, double homicide). You guys love laughing with each other.

Z - ZZZ

Who has the worst sleeping habits?

Probably Melo. If you scooted over him even a little bit, he would probably scoot back closer to you or pull you back over to him. And the only con of that is he snores a lot. (Why this nigga snore with his mouth open?🤨💀). Sometimes if he was awake and you werent he would kiss all over you. He loves to lay on your 🍒.

Y’all welcome. I haven’t pose the one of these in a minute. This took me a whole month and a half. I’m tired as hell. 💀

[thefanficmonster]

Take That!

Corpse Husband & Reader (Female) ft. Streamer Gang

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Suppressed Sadness, Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: What is a friend? Your smile through the tears. The umbrella over your head when it starts raining. The ointment to your wound. But if you wanna put it in a more literal manner, a friend is something that doesn’t have a concrete definition. It can be the person you sit next to in class or the person who’s hundreds of miles away from you and you’re connected to through a Discord call.

Requested by Anon. Hello dear! Thank you so much for your request, sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post it but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy the read if you happen to come across the fic. Love, Vy ❤

There are those days when I wake up excited for a new day. There are also those days when the thought of playing Among Us with my friends is all that gets me out of bed. And then there are those days when not even that can get me to budge. Today is one of those days.

I’d still be in bed right now had I not needed to use the bathroom. On my way back to hide under my covers, I heard my cat’s meow from the kitchen, reminding me she needed to be fed. After tending to that task I just sort of lost will to return to bed either. Speaking truthfully, today is a will-less day. The type of day where I have no idea what to do with myself because I feel so odd and uncomfortable: heavy and bustling head, motivation below zero no matter whether I have zero tasks to tend to or a mountain high pile of work. It’s a laying on the floor and letting my mind eat away at me type of day and I can’t say I appreciate it.

The only thing I have to look forward to is the game of Among Us Corpse invited me to yesterday. Had I known I’d wake up feeling like absolute shit, I wouldn’t have accepted. I just know I’ll be a downer the whole time because I suck at covering up how I feel - my smiling masks and faux happiness don’t cut it but staying quiet is even worse because I’m typically and energetic and bubbly person, always having something to say or a comment to add to the conversation. Always looking to make people laugh.

Well, it’s hard to make people laugh when you feel like a deflated balloon.

I can’t describe the feeling any better than that - I feel empty, maybe a little sad somewhere in the mix, unmotivated. I keep these feelings to myself cause whenever I bring them up people just blow me off, saying I’m describing laziness but more dramatically. Either that or burnout which is sometimes the case, but I’m more than sure that it’s not the culprit for today. You can only blame burnout so many times.

Anyway, I make a mental note, promising myself I’m not gonna bail on my friends regardless of whether my mood gets better or worse. Who knows, maybe a gaming session with them is exactly what I need.

                                                              *  *  *

Not much has changed with my emotional state - I’ve spent a good chunk of the day surfing through TV channels and my socials with nothing else to occupy my mind but the overwhelming knowledge that I’m not feeling ok and that hyperawareness of a void that I feel but cannot describe. At one point, Corpse sent me a text to confirm I’d be participating in the gaming session and I was this close to saying no. This close to coming up with some bullshit excuse and bailing but I didn’t, thankfully. 

Here’s the thing about this drop in mood of mine - I know it’s gonna be gone by morning. It bullies me, beats and batters me for only twenty four hours - never more, never less. Like clockwork and as precise as a Swiss watch. And so fucking annoying. No matter what I do, I can’t end it prematurely and I can never wake up feeling down and unmotivated the next morning - there’s always a surge of motivation coursing through me and it drives me to be super productive as if making up for what I didn’t do the previous day when I was in the dumps.

It’s a twisted way of it showing me I’m powerless and at the mercy of a force that, despite being mine and existing within me, I’m completely unfamiliar with. It’s so fucking unfair, it’s disheartening.

“Hi everyone! Sorry I’m late.“ I greet the five people who have already gathered in the Discord call and the Among Us lobby.

Yeah, sorry I’m late, I was contemplating not showing up at all last minute

“Don’t worry about it, many people are running late as you can see.“ Rae replies reassuringly, “How’s your day? Anything spectacular happen?“

I can’t help but scoff, “Yeah sure, a TON of spectacularism in my life on the daily. From the large stack of papers I couldn’t bring myself to touch, to the dusty surfaces all over my apartment I didn’t convince myself to clean - it’s all fabulous over here.”

Fuck, that was too real

“Whoa, where’d all this sarcasm come from?“ Rae asks, sounding genuinely baffled rather than teasing, “It’s never been your strong suit.“

“Neither has unproductivity.“ Corpse, my best friend, chimes in, “Everything ok?“

Well, I admit, I should’ve known better than to have an outburst like that in front of people who have known me for a while now and can probably gauge my emotions even without me admitting to them. I truly don’t know where it came from. Hell, I didn’t even see it coming.

“Nah, it’s ok. I’m just being lazy, I guess.” I’m quick to withdraw and brush off any suspicion. The last thing I want is to worry my friends or, even worse, receive the same response from them: that I’m being dramatic, that I’m attention-seeking, that I’m just lazy and unmotivated as are most people of my generation.

“You know, what people often self-diagnose as ‘laziness’ often turns out to be something more serious. I don’t mean to scare you, but it could be depression.“ Corpse says after a brief moment of silence in the call, his voice soft and cautious as if explaining a complex problem to a kid who’s bound to be hurt by what it’s told.

I can’t help but chuckle. He has no idea how much he’s relieved me by saying that. I always ‘don’t want to talk about it’ and ‘want to change the subject’ while what I truly need happens to be the complete opposite. I need someone to hear me out, I need someone who will not brush me and my concerns off like we don’t matter. I need someone who’ll understand. And if these people who have openly struggled with anxiety or depression don’t get me, who will?

“Yeah, I genuinely thought I thought of myself as a lowlife while I was in college cause I started losing motivation for everything and started fearing what was to come. I began avoiding going out and talking to people cause I felt like I was the sore thumb in the friend group I had - the only one without any specific goal or a dream.“ Leslie says out of the blue, “Turns out I suffered through a burnout so bad it turned into an anxiety/depression combo that I just blamed on being a lazy college student.“

“Same here!“ Toast pipes in, “I was bedridden for a while during the first days of my streaming career, for a very ridiculous reason - I believed I didn’t deserve the attention I was getting and I wasn’t doing as well as people gave me credit for. So that had me crippled with self-doubt for a long while.“

“I still don’t believe I’m doing as well as I get credit for, but oh well.“ Leslie laughs, “I already told you all about my dumpster-fire of a brain, so I’m instead gonna say: what you need is an appointment with a therapist. Also - you need to stop underestimating your struggles. Invalidating yourself and what you’re going through is gonna make things only worse for you. You need to love yourself.“

“And you need us!“ Rae exclaims, “You need the best support you can get and, lucky for you, we’re the best in the business. Count on us always being there for you, Y/N. Cause we always will be.“

“You’re never alone. We’re all just a call or a text away. Especially me.“ Corpse adds, “I’m basically at your service 24/7, just like you’ve always been for me. What are best friends for if not sharing mental struggles and lifting each other up afterwards?“

I don’t know when this smile made its home on my face but it seems to be rather happy with where it is and wants to stay. Something tells me that thanks to these guys, it will indeed stay there for quite some time. And every time it tries to slip away, they’ll be there to bring it back.

“Then let’s lift each other up, shall we? I mean, what better way to do it other than killing each other and getting away with it?“ I attempt a giggle, hiding my emotions behind it like my life depends on it. Chances are they heard all I’m feeling in my voice, but I can only hope they’re not gonna mention it.

“Y/N, hun, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but....you never get away with it.“ Corpse wheezes, causing me to narrow my eyes and frown.

“Oh, you’re so gonna get it now!“ I exclaim, cracking my knuckles before getting my hands on my keyboard, “Start the game! I have a point to prove!“

And just like that, in what felt like the blink of an eye, the clouds have shuffled aside to make path for the sunshine to grace my brain with positivity I was not expecting to feel until tomorrow morning. I can’t give myself the credit for that though - it all goes to these amazing people I have the honor of calling friends.

I may have no power over it on my own, but with the gang’s help, I can take full control of it. And as a middle finger to the melancholy, I’ll do it all with a bright smile on my face.

Take that, brain!

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[bonny-kookoo]

Ready Player 01 | JJK x Reader | 🔞❤️☁️

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: dystopia!AU, former Game developer!Jk, former pro gamer!JK, former IT specialist!Reader, former programmer!Reader, romance, Smut, slight cyberpunk elements

Warnings/tags: injustice, forcefully controlled public, violence (police/government officials against citizens), unfair powerplay, interrogation, tech talk, Jungkook be antisocial as FUCK but so is the reader lmao wbk, fear of physical contact (Haphephobia), past trauma and mentions of a bad childhood, insomnia, crime, smut because yes it’s me hello my content isn't kiddy-proof in the first place what yall want from me I'm not sure, but that’s waaY at the end ya know, friends to lovers, a slightly sassy AI but we love her, reader struggles with emotions, I mean same tbh, they're both so sweet tho I cant, not proofread because let me live

Summary: there’s a war going on; silent, but it’s there. Media has been strictly become controlled and regulated- to the point of making it illegal to own a TV or phone with internet access without a valid license. But there’s always some people that will try to break free from the controlling force.

"-a new age. This is a new year. And remember; we're doing this for the greater good. Until tomorrow." The news reporter stops talking after she somberly looks somewhere behind the camera that is pointed at her.

Your room is dark- the TV brightness on it's lowest setting so you can see what's going on- but outside, no one can see the light shining in your tiny apartment. Investing in blackout curtains had really paid off at the end of the day.

You don't want to get caught.

There's an announcement van driving past your window; the tiny slits in your curtains where the light from outside can creep its way inside brightening a bit as the headlights pass your windows. Something is spoken, and by now everyone knows the routine speech.

"Electricity will be shut down in five minutes. We advice to save all progress immediately- and we wish a good nights rest. Electricity will be shut down in five minutes..-" It repeats, over and over, counting down the minutes. You slowly move into your kitchen, opening one of the loose floor tiles to turn on your own emergency electricity system. With well practiced movements you close the tile again, moving the rug over it as you walk back into your living room, swiftly sliding the TV behind your wardrobe to make it disappear. As if on cue; there's a knock at your door.

The same as always. Routine. Two times, loud and clear. You don't even have to look through the peephole to know what awaits behind it.

"Yes?" You ask, rubbing your eyes as if you had been already asleep. The officer behind the door nods at you shortly, a mild smile on his face as he looks down at you.

"We didn't mean to wake you miss. Just routine, as usual." He says, peeking into your apartment to look for any electronics still running. It's pitch black however- so he simply nods, as his colleague notes something into his tablet. "We wish a good nights rest miss. Again, sorry for intruding." He apologizes, and you nod, closing the door.

Only when the street lights turn dark, do you move from your bed.

"Creator." The AI voice chimes up, her voice greeting you as as you lift the tile on the floor again- your phone connecting to the AI to show information you instantly decode and note down inside your head. "Player01 has just connected." The voice states, and you sit down on your cold kitchen flooring, smiling a little. "He has sent a message. Would you like me to play it?" The voice asks, and you take a deep breath.

"Yes." You say, and there's a small sound indicating the start of the voice message. A male voice is head.

"Hey, whats up?" He asks, and you can hear something in the background- maybe an empty can or something similar. "I uh.. I'm on my way. Should I bring anything? Ah wait, I know the answer to that.." He says, chuckling at the end of his sentence, and you can hear him zip up his jacket as he moves around. "Yeah uh.. just text or something, I'll bring stuff over. Can't have you starve." He ends, and the AI speaks up again.

"Would you like to repeat the message?" She asks, and you shake your head at her; a signal the artificial intelligence has come to detect quite well. "Should I archive it?" She questions again, and this time, you nod- something your invisible assistant can pick up due to motion sensoring.

"Send him a message." You say. "Tell him: I only need you. Get yourself here in one piece and I'm happy. And I'm very capable of taking care of myself." You state, and your phone shows a small loading message- indicating that the voice is doing as you said. It chimes up after a moment. "Thanks Kana." You say.

"No problem creator. Would you like for me to run through the databases now?" She asks, and you nod, a smile on your face. "Database search in progress. Estimated time: sixteen minutes and eighteen seconds." You huff out a breath as you look at the tiny display on your arm; tiny, yet powerful as it's your way of keeping Kana- your AI assistent- close at all times. Tonight, there would seem to be a lot to dig through.

They really added a lot of content these days.

It's not the door that makes you notice that there's a visitor after a while- He never uses it anyways for some reason. You're sitting on your kitchen floor with a small cup of tea in your hands- kept hot inside a slightly beaten-looking thermos can since you can't use to water boiler at night. Using anything other than Kana would cause a spike the police would be sure to notice; and you're not ready to get caught yet.

Not tonight.

It's a boy who, after a moment, opens the unclosed kitchen window to climb in; his combat boots getting a little snow and dirt from the outside into your apartment as his 80's looking jacket makes distinctive noises as it brushes against the sides of your window. His blonde hair has grown out a bit these days you notice- the roots clearly showing. It's a little wet and slightly curly from the moisture. It must be snowing outside- or maybe it had. You couldn't know for sure.

You never left your apartment.

He closes the window after slipping on the tiles inside a little, the plastic bags noisy as he almost drops them- sheepishly taking off his boots as he smiles at you. His socks are different from one another- but that's another thing so distinctive and just so.. him. He's his own person, always has been; it's what brought you two together, after all. You both stood out against the 'regular public' these days; with his brightly almost white-bleached hair he was like an albino in a sea of crows.

But you knew he didn't need that to stand out to you.

You can still remember the first few times the boy in front of you has visited you; the times where he had just dyed his hair to rebel out, or when he pierced your ears in exchange for you to do it to him as well. It was like you had made a blood pact in your kitchen that night- you had somehow gotten closer, formed a little more than just a simple companionship in order to riot against the law. He began growing close. Gave you a nickname. Began calling you his player 2. Began calling you his 'ace'. He had explained that he thought of it from memories of his gaming days; the two fighting teams always called red and blue, and one of his favorite weapons having that nickname- simply because it always 'saved his ass last minute'. He had rambled on about his last tournament after that, eyes sparkling and cheeks round from cold noodles.

You had become friends.

"hey." He says after sitting close across from you on the cold floor; the opened tile and Kana's core exposed to you two, the only source of light apart from your bracelet. The colorful LED's paint marks on his face and illuminate his features to you; but it does the same to you from his point of view. It's a familiar sight. "How are you?" He asks, almost shyly, but you know that's not what's bothering him.

"Hey Jungkook." You simply say with the hint of a smile, as you answer him. "Haven't slept well these days but, what's new I guess." You chuckle, and Jungkook smiles too- though a glimpse of concern is still shown your way. He knows however that forcing you to sleep won't do much good- your insomnia was too bad to really conquer it in a day or two just by taking naps.

And also; who was he to talk about solving personal issues.

"Have you seen the most recent reports?" You ask him, and the boy somberly shakes his head.

"I was unable to." He states. "They were patrolling close to my apartment complex because there had been someone reporting a Glitcher today." A 'glitcher'- a slang word now commonly used for people like Jungkook and you. People who went against the nightly routines, people who tried to trick the system by using electricity at night, owning media, consuming it, or dealing with it. It somehow became worse than underground drugs. "They pulled him out at around twelve or so- but they seemed too on edge the entire day, so I didn't risk it." He says, and you nod. Jungkook had always been a very good person when it came to calculating risk versus reward. He was good at reading people too- even though he didn't interact much, he got out of his apartment a lot more than you did. "Anything important?" He asks, and you shrug.

"There was a report that China and Japan were still on edge- with the chinese government arguing that they would soon start with 'more drastic measures to get things under proper control', whatever that means." You say, and Jungkooks brows furrow as he starts to pick on the skin of his jaw. "Let's just hope the flood doesn't throw us under the sea as well if it escalates I guess.." You say, and the boy across from you nods.

"Creator." Kana's voice chimes up, making Jungkook look up before remembering that the only source would be your bracelet, which you look at as well. "My scan of your body shows that you have not consumed a sufficient amount of calories today. I recommend a meal in the next five to eight minutes to avoid malnutrition." She says, and you groan. "I take this as a form of verbal communication. Running data search..." She says, as Jungkook looks at you; thoroughly amused by the teasing banter between the AI and his friend. "My data search concludes that you are annoyed, creator. I have only stated a fact however-" She continues, and Jungkook steps in.

"I've brought some leftovers from my dinner today we can eat." He says, pulling out some plastic containers as he moves to get proper cutlery out of your drawers. He makes sure to push them towards you, making sure to nod with a smile as you nod and thank him a little embarrassed. "It's nothing. You know I love you too much to let you starve!" He states with a grin, bunny teeth on full display as bitterness creeps up your throat- something you make sure to swallow down before beginning to eat.

Because the kind of love he's talking about right now, is not the kind of love you want him to feel for you.

"You forgot to give it a proper validation there-" He points out as you type away. "Otherwise it will just run instantly, and everything at once. That could crash older systems, and we know that V95 uses an older laptop, so we should take that into account." He says, and you nod, clicking back to the spot Jungkook is talking about.

This is what you're both good for.

Writing code for you had always been something you did with a passion- simply because you were good at it. Numbers and short phrases were something you could remember with ease; but you never had to think much about the visual aspect of programs in your department back when you were able to work for a simple programming company. You had simply always been tasked to program security systems and automatically updating firmware, or simple AI's for factory robots. Jungkook however had been all about the visuals; he had been programming games after all. That's why you two fit so well together in this scene. Whenever he would be in complete awe of the broad knowledge you had about official guidelines and security breaches, of staying undetected and unseen while still gaining as much as possible from every single line of code, he could always throw in his input to make sure the program you were both writing and updating for the glitch community was easy to use and simple enough so it could run smoothly on as many systems as possible. Be it phone, laptops, PC's- you two made it possible.

This program was connecting Glitchers all over the globe- and with yours and Jungkooks knowledge, you made it almost invisible. And even if it was somehow detected; there was no possible way to track down any of it's users.

The fact that you had to hide a simple program from the government made you sigh.

"Okay. Yeah I think that fixed the bug." He says, and looks at your arm- at Kana. "Oh, by the way, Kana?" he asks, and the chime gives him the cue to talk. "I heard you had a bug-fix too recently." He says, and the AI chimes again.

"I did, Player01." The AI answers. "The addition of code to my current program has proven to significantly increase my ability to observe and save more data." The female voice answers, and Jungkook grins. "You are happy, Player01." She states, and he nods.

"I am." He says.

"Why is that?" The AI asks, and Jungkook shrugs.

"I'm just happy you're doing well. Someone has to take care of ace when I'm not close by, yeah?" He states, and you try not to react to it. Jungkook is by now used to your more stoic expression; you're not too emotional and barely let things get under your skin. You've been hurt before, he knows this even if you never told him- he can see it in the way you hide inside the safety of your home, how you're so cold on the outside but still clinging onto him. Sometimes he wishes he could touch you; run his hand over your head to ruffle your hair like in those cheesy movies, hold your hand, or simply give you some reassurance in the form of a gentle hand on your back whenever you struggle.

But he's got his own demons, and they love clinging onto him just as much.

"V95 has connected to voice chat. Would you like to talk to him?" Kana states, ripping him out of his thoughts as he watches you nod.

"JK? Y/N?" A deep voice asks.

"We're here. Heard there was a raid close to you?" Jungkook asks, and he can see you grow a bit more serious at that. "Are you okay?" He adds, and V answers, although quite.. tired?

"I'm good. They got Jimin though." He states, and you sigh, running a hand through your hair as you stand up, frustrated. Jungkook knows you're trying to calm down by pacing. He doesn't mind. "They didn't officially arrest him, took him for 'questioning' though. We know what that's about." He states somberly, and Jungkook takes a deep breath.

"Jimin is a master manipulator V. He'll get himself out of it, I'm sure." Jungkook tries to reassure, but it doesn't gain him much than a hum from Taehyung on the other end of the line. "What about Sleeper?" He asks, and a chuckle is heard.

"He's been checking the videofeed from inside the past few nights. He said he's send some of the big bites to Ace though?" He says, and Jungkook looks over at your form.

"Yeah I've seen it." You simply say, though Jungkook grows uncomfortable with the way you're suddenly standing there. You're a little hunched, biting the skin on your thumb as you look at the tiles as if they suddenly began to move. He knows himself that things inside the 'rehabilitation centers' weren't all that nice to see- but you rarely ever displayed so much distress over it. "Let's just hope Jimin get's his ass out of this situation. We can't afford to loose him." You say, and V stays silent before he sighs.

"Yeah. I tell sleeper you've seen the stuff. Oh, and our prince charming has asked for a date with Ace. Again." Taehyung chuckles, and you groan- while Jungkook can't help but clench his jaw. Kim Seokjin was a very good asset to the team; with connections reaching deep inside the government and his position as a former lawyer- but he still hated his guts.

You didn't need to waste your time dating. You were totally capable of taking care of yourself, you had even said it personally! And for anything else Jungkook would provide for you. You didn't need anyone else than him.

He was totally not jealous of him.

"Can he not use our underground connections for that circus?" You say. "I don't even go grocery shopping, why would I want to go on a fucking date?" You mumble, sitting down next to Jungkook as you take a spoonful of rice. Jungkook feels a weird sense of satisfaction about the situation.

"Who knows." Taehyung says. "Alright, 10 Minute mark- I'll hear from you two soon. Take care." He says, and you both say your goodbyes before the line goes silent.

Although Jungkook hates physical contact, he likes keeping you close.

His heart is melting like chocolate as he notes the way your hand grips his jacket tightly as the two of you walk through town to get your license renewed- a way of holding onto him, and he somehow wishes it could be his hand. He knows yours would fit so perfectly in his, and yet he can't bring himself to do it.

His body is not cooperating.

He remembers vividly how his fear had developed; with his father and mother both being dramatically overworked and overwhelmed with having a kid at a young age, they had no idea how to make a child behave. Every second touch would bruise, every time he had been held would be force.

And at some point, he started to dislike physical touch completely.

It had just been like his growing interest in freelance climbing- the way he would walk and jump high over the heads of unsuspecting people, away from all judgemental gazes they'd throw his way for behaving the way he did. Only when the wind could hit him freely, only when he couldn't make out faces of anyone down below, only when he was high up- that was when he felt safe. The ground below had nothing of interest for him, no point in going down, as his apartment was located on the top floor of the complex. Jungkook never took the elevator, always the stairs.

He liked being reminded how high he lived.

And yet, there's one thing that pulls him down, brings his feet to the earth below, calls him like a siren song. It's you, hidden away from everyone's sight inside your tiny home, just as troubled and judged as himself.

He'd fallen in love with you the second you told him his name.

It had been a rainy night, his clothes drying on your heater as he was wrapped in two of your blankets; the smell of your fabric softener and something so typically you surrounding him like a mother's hug would a child. It had given him a feeling of comfort he had never quite experienced before, and it had also been the first time he had imagined what it would be like to hug you.

To have you close.

He had explained to you why he had freaked out when you reached for his arm to steady him when he almost fell inside your apartment through your window; had apologized and bowed his head in shame until you had simply shrugged.

"You don't have to justify yourself to anyone, Jungkookie." You had said. Jungkookie. "You're you. And I like you." You had said, not looking at him as you typed in some code to Kana's internal system.

His heart had warmed up at that.

And while you had accepted him, he had accepted you just as much. While at first caught off guard by your quiet and sometimes harsh way of treating him, he had also gotten to know just how gentle and delicately you treated the ones you loved. You were a loyal person, always going out of your way to be helpful, and silently basking in praise any time it was directed at you.

He loved that view. The way your cheeks would grow warm, how your eyes would sparkle; and he loved most of all, that he had been, according to Taehyung who was the second closest to you, the only one to see you smile.

You even laughed with him.

It filled him with pride to know that you were able to let go around him, even if it was just a little. It made him feel like he did something huge. It helped him sleep at night knowing that you were trusting him enough to let down your guard a little.

And it hurt him even worse knowing that he couldn't do the same thing for you.

He was a coward-

and you deserved a hero.

"Ace?" He asked, slipping through your window as he noticed the apartment silent and dark. Nothing greeted him. "..Ace?" He tried again, maybe you were asleep? But your apartment was quiet, empty, nothing spoke of your presence. Dishes were in the sink, a cup of water left untouched on the counter, and something inside of him churned painfully at the way this looked. He checked the kitchen tile, sliding it to the side like he's seen you do it countless of times.

It was dark.

Instead, he was greeted by a post it note. "Underneath the bed. Take care." Was all it read. He stood up, pushing your bed away from the wall noticing how your carpet had been torn a little. And as he lifted the cut flap of carpet, there was an envelope.

Your watch. A small in-ear piece, and your old IT-identification, folded.

A noise outside your hallway made his head snap up as he pushed the bed back into place, making an escape for it as he climbed outside the window, watch safely inside his jacket as he climbed back up on top of a building, before he examined it further, turning it on, after putting the earpiece in.

"Hello, Jungkook." Kana greeted him, and it felt weird to hear the AI say his name like that. "Creator has advised me to answer all questions you might have, and assist you from here on." She said, and Jungkook simply put the watch on, making his way to his own apartment.

"What happened?" He asked, his face serious as he walked.

"At around 6:12 O'clock, creator was taken into further questioning regarding illegal possession and knowledge of classified information and technological equipment. She had shown no resistance and complied with authorities. My observations however showed that she was taken with more force than necessary." Kana explained. Jungkook shook his head. "She had prepared for this instance during the night, approximately twenty-six minutes after you had left."

"She knew?!" He suddenly said, shutting his apartment door violently as he started to pace around, throwing his jacket on the couch. "Why didn't she contact me?"

"Analysis; your body shows signs of-" Kana started, but Jungkook interrupted.

"Shut up. Why didn't she tell me?" He asks again, and Kana seems to hesitate for a moment.

"Considering her close relationship to you, she probably wanted to not get you involved." She stated, and Jungkook sighed, sitting down on his couch as he gripped his hair. He should've stayed. Hell, it wasn't the first time he wanted to stay. He had dreamed of staying over, of fucking living with you for months to no end by now, but he was a coward. And this was his paycheck.

"Kana." He said lowly, and the small tune gave him the cue to talk. "Contact V95. Tell him it's urgent. We got an emergency." He says.

"I can't watch this." He says, jumping up and holding onto his head as to not punch his wall, unable to go through the videofeed of your interrogation room.

There's not much to see, but Jungkook knows that's simply because they haven't had the time to see to you yet. You and him knew best what really happened in these rooms, and he hated knowing that deep down they wouldn't go easy on you simply because you were a young woman. It didn't matter to them.

He'd seen teenagers way younger than you and him getting the rough treatment before- and elderly didn't get spared either.

The government bragged about having everything in order; yet they couldn't even control their own law enforcement it seemed. When he really thought back on his history lessons in school, not much had changed at all.

The world was still in utter chaos.

His palm shuts his laptop harshly- earning a tiny chime from the AI he’s already forgotten shares his home with him now. “I suggest that you practice care in treating your electronics to-“ he groans, successfully shutting it off at that. “Why are you frustrated?” It- she? Asks, and he sits down.

“I don’t know how to help her.” He admits in shame, thinking back to the footage of your hidden camera; the way they had pushed you to the ground, before grabbing you, leading you out of your apartment a few minutes away from him. “I don’t know what I should do.” He says.

There’s a bit of silence, until the AI speaks up again. “Do you have a romantic interest in my creator?” She asks, and his head snaps up at that.

“What the fuck? Why would you ask me this?!” He barks, unsure where to look since he can only hear the voice.

“I have observed both my creator and your behaviors; you seem to have a very deep rooted interest in each others well-being and opinions. This is commonly found in partnerships. I was only asking you to confirm if my assumption is correct.”

He’s silent for a moment, until he speaks again, watching the announcement van pass his window; voices dull and unintelligible though the walls and windows. “It’s no use anyways. Who wants someone they can’t even shake hands with?” He sighs, looking into his lap again. He hates that he’s like this; that even though he very much loves and adores you, there’s no magic moment that makes him forget- even though he craves the contact, he can’t do it. Every time he’s close to you, he knows that he could simply hug you; or let you rest your head on his shoulder, like in romantic movies. He wants to hold your hand, wipe your tears- but his body won’t cooperate. He can’t do it.

Not even with you.

“Creator seems very comfortable with you.” The AI states. “I have been asked to archive all text messages and phone calls of you two recently. When I asked for a reason, she claimed she would need it someday- I was unsure what she meant.” Jungkook furrows his brow, raising his head again. “Sometimes, when creator is deeply upset, she has the habit of playing some of the recordings of you singing, or reminding her to take care. My research has shown that it slows down her heartbeat to a more normal level and also improves her insomnia.” Jungkooks eyes widen at that.

Does that mean.. that you like him back?

"Kana, fuck- cut the feed." He says, agitated.

"Are you sure?" She asks, and he sighs, before yelling his frustration out, sitting down to take a deep breath. He slowly shook his head no. He couldn't let all your hard work go to waste like this.

He couldn't stay a coward.

"Jungkook, it appears to be that the creator is being let go." Kana suddenly chimes up, and Jungkook rushes to his pc setup to see for himself. And she's right- your arm is being held tightly, and something is being said to you, but your hands are no longer chained to the chair- you're free.

What just happened?

Jungkook sometimes really hates himself for being the way he is.

There's no sugarcoating it that you need comfort now more than ever, even though you don't openly show it to him. He can see it in the way you're still biting your nails, he can see it in your eyes which never stay on one point for too long. And he can definitely see it in the bruises on your upper arm, and the cut on your lower lip where you had bitten in anger and frustration. He wants to comfort you, he knows you'd let him- and yet he can't move any closer than where he is right now; only the length of his palm of space between you two. And yet it's like his joints are locked into place. He can't touch you.

What if he hurts you?

And it dawns on him right then and there while he watches you drink your can of overly sweet soda while typing your code like second nature, that he's not scared of you hurting him. He's scared of doing to you, what's been done to him. Because deep down he is aware that his parents never had bad intentions, never hated him or wanted him to suffer; they were simply unsure and not at all confident in how to really care for a child. They had been caught off guard and gotten overwhelmed by the sudden shift in their situation that they never truly knew what to do. And nowadays he felt like he was simply heading down the same road.

He was starting to feel like he was becoming just like them.

"Hm?" You ask him, ripping him out of his thoughts as he looks at you, your eyes wide and worried as you put down your almost empty can of soda. "What is it?" You ask him, and he wants to scream. He wants to throw a fit like a child at the way you seem to worry for him every time you should worry for yourself. He's a coward, he's useless, he's everything you don't need nor deserve in his eyes, and yet you always look at him like he's the main character of your favorite movie.

If he was, he was sure he'd be merely a sidekick- because you deserved to be the focus of every story told in his eyes. And if you weren't included in the tale, he knew he didn't want to ever know about it.

He swallows, before he manages to make his hand move, finger pointing at your arm where a green-ish bruise already formed. "Does it hurt?" He asks, and he's not even sure if he's asking you about the bruise, of if he's asking something else. He doesn't know what he's saying, doesn't even know if he's asking you or himself.

"No." You answer, and he looks at you, searching for any hint of a lie in your eyes. But he only sees that slight smile, lips turned a little, almost unnoticeable. But its there, he can see it, and he wants to print it into his mind to never forget it. You were so observant, knew him so well, that he was almost certain you knew of his inner fight and what he really meant with his blurted out question. "Are you okay?" You ask him, and he swallows again, eyes stinging with unshed tears as his body grows rigid like an unoiled machine, only moving with as much force as he can manage to come up with. His breathing is heavy as his eyes can't leave the spot on your arm, and your watch him with wide eyes as his shaking hand slowly reaches out.

He doesn't know what he expects to really happen.

Maybe like those electric shocks you get when someone had rubbed their socks on a carpet before touching someone else. Maybe he had expected to recoil instantly. Maybe he had expected nothing- but he was suddenly in a rush the moment his fingertip touched your warm skin, delicate, soft, everything his rough hands weren't.

And you were still as prey in front of a wolf.

But the wolf in this scenario was holding his breath while his tears finally fell. He wants to speak, but he can't, he doesn't know how to ask for something when he doesn't even know if he wants it.

But suddenly he moves again, his palm now resting fully against your upper arm, shaking, as it moves over the length of it, softly, as he imprints the way your soft skin feels. "Jungkook.." You whisper out, and he suddenly snaps, leans forward, his legs on either side of your body as he snakes his arms around you from behind, pulling you close to his chest. You can feel him shake as he holds you, his cheek resting against your back and you don't care about his tears staining your shirt as he suddenly cries openly and possibly for the first time since he was a mere child.

He's unsure, overwhelmed, because you're so warm, you smell so nice, you're so soft, and he can't let go, doesn't want to let go. He whines out as you turn a bit as he thinks you're moving away but you're simply placing your legs over his as you sit in his lap, hugging him back as you make sure to give him a gentle squeeze.

He calms down after a long while of simply existing. Of breathing you in, of feeling you. "You're right." He whispers into your neck, and you can't help but shiver, leaning into his hug.

"It doesn't hurt at all."

"You know, I get why you come up here." You comment, as Jungkook makes sure to hold your hand tightly in his, your feet dangling off the edge of the building you're sitting on top of. "It's nice." You say.

He's not listening that well though.

All he can really do is watch your face, illuminated by the neon lights of the city, hair swaying in the wind as you look down below. He doesn't quite know what you two really are, doesn't know how long it will take him to really come out of his shell and give you the love you deserve, but he's trying. He's fighting, he's left his cowardly self behind.

He want's to change.

And not just for you alone, because while he hates seeing you hurt, he knows what you two are doing- what all of you are doing- is for the greater good.

Jungkook hates your ideas sometimes.

Simply because he knows they will work, but also end up with you getting into danger at the end of it. And just like now, all he can do really is hope that you make it out as he keeps a watchful eye on your movements from above, giving you directions via Kana as you sometimes trip and stumble a little.

You're not a very active person; running wasn't really your thing.

Fuck, you were basically a hermit, the most you walked around was from your bedroom into the kitchen!

But then again, sacrifices had to be made somewhere. And Jungkook really admired you; because every time he thought that you had reached your limit, you would face it head first and break through it.

"Ace, try and somehow get to higher ground. They're caging you in from all sides." He urgently tells you as he watches police chase you down the roads, pushing citizens aside to not loose sight of you.

The plan had been simple. Gain all the attention so Taehyung could infect one of the police station's servers with a new worm, giving you all a better and easier access to any data and communication of the area. Jungkook couldn't play the bate well enough; and you had been on their radar already, making you the best option to gain their interest quickly enough.

Although Jungkook hated that part.

"Come on, ah fuck it." He grits out, jumping down to grab a ladder, making his way to a nearby area he could pull you up. There was no way you could reach any of the fire ladders yourself, and by now, things were getting too hot for him to risk anything. "Here!" He barks out, not thinking twice about grabbing your hand and helping you upwards, trying not to worry too much about your heavy breathing. And then there's it.

A pop, loud, followed by another, and another, and another. You're suddenly falling, scraping your knees on the ground below as he can't catch you, too startled by the fact that they had actually decided to shoot to react quick enough. "Fuck!" He says, eyes wide and pupils blown as he looks at you.

"Jungkook, why the fuck aren't you running?!" You yell at him, a scratch on the top of your left cheek as you push his leg away from you- the only thing you can reach. "Go!" You bark again, and he growls out something, before he manages to pull you onto his back, adrenaline not letting his brain process what he's doing.

He can't just leave you.

"Taehyung, get out, Ace has been shot. Whatever was uploaded has to be enough." He says via the in-ear piece, doesn't wait for a response. He still gets it.

"Fuck, what?! Okay okay, I'm out" He says, and Jungkook can only catch a glimpse of the older man leaving the building via the backside entrance. He's only concerned with getting you somewhere safe.

"Urgh." You groan, slowly sitting up on Jungkooks couch. "I mean, I know paintball hurts, but rubber bullets? Jesus.." You complain, while Jungkook looks at you with a dark expression. "What?" You ask him, and he huffs.

"You sound like you haven't almost been killed yesterday." He grimly says, and you shrug. "Stop. I'm serious." He tells you, and you let yourself fall back down onto his couch.

"Whatever. At least we killed their communication." You say, closing your eyes. "Must've at least pissed them off." You say.

"Kana." Jungkook suddenly says, waiting for the familiar sound to tell him she's active. "Shut down for now." He says, and you sit up, hissing instantly at the sudden movement.

"Hey- ah fuck!" You say, as you watch on your bracelet how Kana complies; shutting down. "Why would you do that?" You say in an offended matter, before you grow quiet, watching him go onto his knees in front of you, as he lets his head rest on top of your lap.

"I just want.. you to myself. Just.." He mumbles, and you slowly bring your hand to his hair. "Just for a moment." He says, and you sigh. Jungkook had been under a lot of stress recently, you no doubt being the main cause of most of it recently. So you simply let him be, as he closed his eyes. "Y/N?" He asks suddenly, and you answer him. "I love you." He says, and your body stops moving.

What?

"It's okay if you don't." He says, not moving from his spot, and neither opening his eyes. "I mean it. I only want you to know." He explains further. "Because I.. couldn't fucking live with myself if something happened to you, and I've never told you." He admits, and you can't help but stare at him. Jungkook looked down on himself so much that it was sometimes frustrating to see; simply because you saw him as such an amazing human being with countless talents and beautiful flaws.

You knew you couldn't muster up the strength to actually answer him; not so spontaneously. You weren't that expressive, you couldn't communicate as freely and colorful as he could. All your words seemed black and white to you, mixing into grey and mundane sentences while his words seemed to bloom into the most amazing paintings. He had a way of charming those around him- and he didn't even know.

You slowly leaned down instead, moving his hair to the side as you placed a feather-light kiss to the top of his cheek, close to his eye.

You hoped he would somehow understand you.

And as he moved again, looking at you with eyes that sparkled brighter than any city's skyline ever could, you knew he did.

He'd always understand you, no matter how you communicated with him.

You didn't need words to understand each other.

The shy kiss you two shared, bathed in the purple glow of the neon lights outside his window, spoke enough.

"You should try and sleep." Jungkook tells you, taking away your can of soda as you whine at him. "No buts. Come on, I'll finish this for you." He says, and you let him take over the keyboard of your laptop. It's something you really only let him get away with- anyone else would've probably lost a finger or two trying to touch your work.

You don't trust anyone but him at this point.

"I know that Kana snitched." You comment, as you lean your back against his shoulder. He chuckles. "Can't believe my own creation goes behind my back like that." You mumble, and Jungkook has a light tune to his voice as he speaks.

"Well, it's a good thing though." He tells you. "I worry about you." He says.

"Ugh come on, you know that's not the part I meant." You laugh, and he grins.

"Oh, you mean the part where you listen to my crappy ass singing to help you sleep?" He tells you with a teasing undertone. "No wonder you got insomnia trying to find rest to that." He chuckles, and you playfully hit his thigh.

"Shut up, your voice is nice." You say, and he's glad your eyes are closed, and you can't see him blush.

Somehow, moments like these re-energized him again. Because it proved to him that there was still a piece of that innocent and untainted you inside that thick shell you had put up to protect yourself. And considering that you let him see you like that made his pride grow taller than any of the skyscrapers of his city.

Maybe one day the two of you will have a future together that won't be so difficult and unfair like your current one was. Maybe one day, you both will have changed enough to teach the next generation about what you've overcome.

But then again; living in the moment seemed to fit a lot better in his eyes, as he watched you sleep soundly against his shoulder.

Yeah, this moment was more than enough for now.

The world won't change over night- you both know that. All of you know that. But small things were starting to make a difference here and there; for example, the letter you held towards Jungkook as his eyes widened.

"..and we have officially decided that we no longer want to participate in the case against the defendant. The result of this agreement is that all charges against Y/N L/N have been dismissed and are no longer being investigated." He reads out loud, almost whispering as if saying it too loud could make it a lie. "They let you go?" He asks, and you nod, the small bandaid on your cheek making you look even cuter in his eyes as you shrug.

"Jimin had reached out too. They've let him go home as well." You say. and Jungkook huffs out in disbelief.

After infecting the police station with the worm you had all worked on, you had scared the entire country enough to take a step back from the overall aggressive tone. It wasn't much- but it meant that they knew you were there. You existed, and you were not bowing down.

You were still untamed.

Jungkook smiled brightly as he put the letter down to the side, reaching out to you to pull you onto his lap. He simply holds you for a moment, his lips kissing the skin of your shoulder as if in a trance. "I love you." He tells you, and you smile, squeezing him a bit in your arms. "I really do." He assures you, and you nod.

You don't answer him, and he doesn't seem to mind as he leans back from you, his eyes crinkling at the edges as he grins, hands holding your face so delicately as he places a kiss onto your lips, making you close your eyes as he breaks away from you, letting you rest your head against his shoulder.

He's still not letting anyone very physically close other than you; he's still scared of going out and around like everyone else. You're still rather hiding inside his apartment- both of your apartment now- and you still have trouble sleeping.

But Jungkook keeps the nightmares away.

And you make him brave in exchange.

It's really weird to hear the sound of a radio nowadays.

Things are still far from normal- but recently, citizens had been given radios to listen to public broadcast again. It only played crappy music with some rare good tracks here and there, but it was better than nothing.

Jungkook couldn't help but think that your breathless voice was far more entertaining than any music station he can remember from his youth.

While he hates touching other people, even friends and family, he can't help but feel a rush whenever he touches you.

His hands can't stop on one specific spot, can't seem to stay still even for a moment as his lips nip and suck at the flesh of your neck and shoulder, marking what's his, visualizing that you really belong to him. He bears the same mark on his collarbone from last night, and he should have been satisfied, but even an early morning couldn't keep him away from you.

The rain hit the window harshly, but he didn't notice at all. All his eyes could see was your form underneath him, skin glowing as he moves above you, euphoria filling his veins as he can't look away from where you're connected, where his cock disappears inside of you over and over and over again.

"I love you." He breathes out as he comes undone, holding you close, resting his head against your shoulder, as you hold onto his arms, a smile, a genuine and big smile thrown his way as he can't help but smile along.

"I love you too, Jungkook." You say, and he chuckles.

The radio in the background still playing, as you lay in each others' arms.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. Please stop reposting my content on AO3 thinking I won't find it. I'm literally everywhere you clowns.

To everyone else: Thank you for reading this mess- I really apologize for the messy storyline, but I just wanted to put this out before the entire thing escaped me again and I would end up struggling to find my way back into it (cough cough flashback to mean lmao). I promise to somewhat post more regularly. Thank you for your kind words and for sticking with me!

[byulsgrease]

if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

[softieteez]

leaving

ivy leaves JYP

warning: anxiety ?, body image ?, ivy gets really worried and kinda insecure ???

summary: after her time on produce 101, ivy decides to talk to jyp about what plans he has for her which results in her leaving.

genre: fucking sad, angst, teensy amount of fluff

a/n: english in italics ~ french in bold & italics. not proofread

sitting in the dorm with the other trainees for the first time since before leaving for produce. she felt so empty, he friends all debuted together. and she’s so happy for them, of course, but she’s so upset that she didn’t make it.

“you’re frowning” yeji pouted and sat next to her on the bed

“i’m just tired” ivy whispered and continued scrolling through the many tweets and comments about i.o.i. seeing her name pop up a few times made her happy, it meant people noticed her, liked her, and are now wishing the best for her.

“that’s not believable” chaeryeong commented as she walked in

“yeah, well. cant expect me to be happy right now” ivy responded. she didn’t mean for it to sound mean, and the other girls knew that.

“we know jisoo, we’re sorry for pushing it” yeji pat her head and kissed her cheek before going to get changed for practice.

“are you gonna talk to jyp-sunbaenim?” chaeryeong asked while putting her hair in a ponytail

“yeah, he and i agreed to talk tomorrow. so i won’t be at dance practice”

“okay, well i really hope we can all debut together” the taller smiled

“me too! i think that’ll be fun” ivy smiled before they both giggled.

after practice, they went back to the dorms and immediately all went to sleep. practice usually lasted until 2 a.m. for trainees, sometimes longer depending on how much they mess up.

the next morning, 5 a.m. not so bright but definitely early. ivy got up and showered before changing into the only nice thing she had to wear. once she was done changing, she waited for one of the staff members to pick her up.

driving with staff used to be so awkward, and at time it still is if they aren’t the ones you’ve become close with. usually ivy would get called olivia or jisoo. the only people that called her ivy were some of the produce girls and a few other trainees that she was close with. oh and jackson.

“jisoo, we’re here.” the staff member said. ivy nodded and got out of the car. the staff lead her to the meeting room with jyp.

“ah, there she is” the ceo smiled

“hi jyp sunbaenim” the girl smiled and bowed while shaking his hand.

“have a seat, i just order sushi. eat up”

the young girl stomach started grumbling, she hasn’t had sushi in a while. she smiled and nodded before sitting across the table and grabbing chopsticks.

“how are things, i can’t imagine you’re exactly happy with your placing on the show” the man crossed his hands on the table and looked at her.

“uhm, not exactly. but i’m grateful for the experience, and i did place well just not where i would’ve liked. but overall my time on produce was great” she semi-lied. she had never been more stressed in her life on that show.

“that’s wonderful jisoo, i do have to say i think you should’ve debuted in i.o.i”

the confession shocked her, it’s rare to receive such a compliment as a trainee. “thank you sunbaenim” she smiled

“now, you and i both decided on this meeting, can i ask why you wanted to talk?”

ivy chewed her food before talking “i want to know what your plans are for me in the future. i know you have plans on a new girl group”

jyp sighed and put his food down, ultimately worrying the girl “well… about that. i don’t think you necessarily fit in the group i’m planning.”

“i-i, uhm, what do you mean?” she asked

“the group i have in planned will be an empowerment group, which i believe you can do. i just think it’ll be… too feminine for you.” jyp stated and took a drink of water

“sunbaenim, with all do respect, i just barely missed debuting in a very cute and feminine group.”

“almost. the key word there. jisoo, i think the reason you didn’t debut is because you aren’t feminine enough”

ivy sat there shocked, but also upset. what exactly makes a girl feminine?

“i think you’re better off a soloist or… not in this company”

“i think your right, i’d like to suspend my contract please” she said with a straight face.

a week later, ivy was being kicked out of the dorm. she was packing everything she could in the small amount of hours she had. yeji, ryujin, and lia are helping while chaeryeong and yuna grab her toiletries.

“thanks for the help” ivy sniffed

“it’s the least we could do” lia sighed

“if you forget anything we’ll save it and give it to you when we can” ryujin promised. the younger nodded and zipped up one suitcase

“felix texted me last night, asking if the ‘rumors’ were true. he seemed so upset” ivy sighed and huffed

“he has a really good chance at debuting soon” yeji said

“he does. i’m excited for him” ryujin smiled

“me too”

-eight months later-

because she had nowhere else to go, ivy has to stay with her grandparents. it’s not horrible per say, they just stay quiet. they aren’t happy with her career choices.

her grandparents lived in ohio up until her dad passed away, then they moved back to korea. that’s a different story.

in the past few months ivy has been trying to figure out where she wants to be. in the end, she auditioned for bighit entertainment and kq entertainment. she heard of kq through a friend of a friend. before that, she never heard of it. it worried her when arriving to the audition, seeing the building about a 7/11 and only three other people auditioning. but she didn’t let it get to her.

and now, it was only a day ago when kq reached out telling her they want her to show up for a second round of auditions.

idol auditions are all usually the same. there are three rounds, the first round is the usual singing, dancing, etc. second round is an on camera audition. they ask you to talk in front of the camera, see how your visuals look and sometimes even have you sing and dance again. the third round is contract talk, and eventually signing the contract.

she wasn’t too worried about the camera audition, she’s been on camera plenty of times. what worried her is how short notice it was. she has three more days to prepare. so at school her friends would follow her to the schools gym to watch her dance and sing just in case.

she decided to sing friday by iu, which was her jyp audition song. and dope by bts for her dance, which was her produce 101 audition.

“i think you have it down perfectly” her friend, eunwoo, shrugged.

“yeah, you’re just tiring yourself out at this point” her other friend, seokmin, agreed.

“you need to eat” mina said

“i’ll eat when i’m an idol” ivy sighed and drank some water

“jisoo, you’re getting really skinny. you don’t need to diet so much” seokmin frowned

the youngest groaned and walked over to steal a small bag of chips from the boys tray. she opened the bag and threw a chip in her mouth “happy?”

“delighted” mina smiled. ivy rolled her eyes and flipped both her friends off, earning laughter from them.

the next day was the same, and the next, and all the way up to her audition. her grandparents let her leave school early to go to the audition. she was almost late because she was arguing with the secretary. but she made it.

“hi” a boy smiled as she walked in. he didn’t look too much older than her, so he didn’t seem to be a staff. but he seems to have authority by the fact that he’s sitting at the table where the ceo and other staffs sit.

“uh, hi” she smiled

“i’m hongjoong, i’m a trainee here. the ceo wanted me to watch with him and eden today” the boy, hongjoong, smiled brightly.

“oh, that’s cool. i don’t mean to sound rude, but how did you get to do that?”

“i was the first trainee to audition and make it into kq. so i guess that means i have some authority?” he shrugged as the two of them laughed

“what year were you born?” she asked

“98’ what about you?”

“o-oh” she bowed “i was born in 01’”

“ah, you and junyoung are the youngest two then” he smiled after bowing back slightly

“are you the oldest?”

“no, seonghwa is a few months older than me” hongjoong answered and handed her a clipboard “i know you’re probably tired of going through papers, but this is just a survey kind of. so it asks what languages you speak and stuff like that”

“oh! okay, thank you” she accepted the clipboard and smiled at the older

“no problem, you can go sit over there” he smiled and pointed to a chair in front of the mirror “oh, i almost forgot. do you have your phone on you?”

“in my bookbag” she pointed to her bag that was placed next to the door

“okay, just keep it in there until you leave. company policy” he smiled sadly

“i understand” she nodded and went to sit in the chair to answer the questioned.

the paper asked where she was born, what languages she speaks, if she’s ever had plastic surgery, and what piercing she has. just simple stuff like that. the last question was about other contacts they can reach if they can’t reach immediate contacts, which would be her grandparents.

this was difficult, her mom and her didn’t have the best relationship, and she was all the way in america. her grandparents were really the only adults around her. this made her sit there and think about… everything.

“jisoo, are you alright?” hongjoong asked

the girl snapped out of her thoughts and took a deep breath. she nodded “could you call me ivy please?” she asked softly.

“of course, is everything okay?”

she shook her head and smiled sadly before asking,

“what if you don’t have any other adult for emergency contacts?” she whispered and showed to him the two contacts for her grandparents and that was it.

“o-oh. uhm, you can always put a friend. just someone who can get you help the fastest” hongjoong smiled gently before standing up again.

she nodded and put down seokmin and mina’s numbers. “do you want some water?” she heard hongjoong ask. she nodded and smiled once more.

after some time, the ceo and producer, eden, walked in with stylists and managers.

“hello jisoo” the ceo smiled at the girl who bowed and smiled back

“hello sunbaenim” she smiled back before turning and bowing to eden and the stylists.

“i’m guessing you’ve already met hongjoong and took the survey” he asked and set in between eden and hongjoong

“yes” she nodded

“wonderful! hongjoong survey please” the ceo was then handed the clipboard for him to look over it. “i know you answered questions about height, weight and measurements, but that stuff changes all the time. so i brought some stylists to check that again, i hope that’s alright”

“of course” she nodded

“great, we’re going to have you do your recording before doing that. eden turn on the camera please”

eden nodded and did as told, making sure the camera was correctly pointed at the young girl before sitting down.

“okay, so first, language. i want you to introduce yourself in every language you know. if you aren’t one hundred percent fluent that’s fine. just say your name and your birth year. because you speak english only use your korean name for korean” the ceo smiled and looked up at ivy

“hi, my name is min jisoo i was born in 2001”

“hi, my name is olivia min, i was born in 2001”

“hi my name is olivia min, i was born in 2001”

hongjoong and eden looked at each other and then the girl “was that french?” eden asked. this being the first time ivy has heard his voice.

“yes” she smiled and chuckled

it went on for a while until she was completely done. she didn’t have to dance but they did ask her to sing. produce only showed so much of her singing, they wanted to hear her vocals. after measurements, the ceo sat down with her, hongjoong, and eden

“eden what do you think?” the ceo asked

“she has great vocals, her range is really good she could fit anywhere in any group”

“hongjoong?” the ceo asked again

“actually, i really think she’d be a great idol” hongjoong smiled

“well, jisoo. when do you think you can bring in a guardian to sign some contracts?”

who knows, maybe leaving will be the better choice in the end…