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#i still think they should add something where if u save the scroll of true resurrection u can make astarion a human again
paarthursass · 1 year
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you KNOW they put the level cap at 12 bcs with all the content in act 3 you can EASILY get to level 17, which is when most classes get access to 9th level spells and. well. 
having access to true polymorph would have made the clutch decision at the end there a little less. dire.
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sleepyimpala · 4 years
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distant
FANDOM: knives out. PAIRING: jacob thrombey x reader. GENRE: angst. WARNINGS: mentions of suicide. REQUESTED: yes. FROM MY OLD BLOG: phenomenally-thrombey. REQUESTS FOR KNIVES OUT ARE CLOSED.
For @taradenbrough12 who asked, I’m really fine with any idea. Can it be in Jacob’s house please?
A/N: So I’ve been procrastinating a LOT. I’m really sorry about that, but I hope you like it!!!
You were a distant family friend of the Thrombeys.
Your family, the L/Ns, were helping Jacob’s parents, Walt and Donna out with a case about the publishing company.
You’d asked your mom to bring you along because the last time you and Jacob were together you had the best time in the world.
However, ever since the two of you got older, you seemed to grow apart.
A few years ago you moved house and got other friends but now you were back, and you were overjoyed to be moving into your old house.
Little did you know that Jacob, unlike you, had changed very much.
Of course, Jacob’s cousin, Meg, had warned you of this, phoning you and saying she was happy you were back, but also that Jacob was now an alt-right troll and dipshit, sorry to disappoint yourself.
You highly doubted her, going to the Thrombey’s house in high spirits, the day before Harlan Thrombey’s birthday party, something which your family were invited to.
Today, however, he completely ignored you. All he did was scroll through his phone.
The only time he spoke to you was when he was forced to greet you by his parents.
Then he retreated to the fireplace.
Even when he hugged you forcefully it was different, as if he’s forgotten everything the two of you did together when you were kids.
He’d pushed you away from him so stiffly you were going to cry.
Apparently, his parents and your parents thought that nothing had changed.
Of course they didn’t, whenever your families were together they always spoke about some money related thing or something heartless like the government.
You were forced to get along. And you did. You were the best of friends.
But now, it was like you were invisible.
It was like losing contact with each other had created some sort of wall between the two of you - an iron wall which couldn’t be broken.
Your eyes dart to Jacob, near the fire place from your seat on the couch.
He didn’t even notice you, or bother to look up from his phone.
Your heart drops all the way down to your stomach in dismay.
You needed answers.
You missed him. The old him.
The Jacob that would read books with you and debate things and laugh when you fell down but always help you up but demand the two of you have matching sweaters each Christmas from Great Nana Thrombey.
The Jacob that cared for you and asked if you were ok when others didn’t and heard what you had to say.
The boy who knew all of your dark secrets and you knew all of his - yet he’d never tell a soul. Now, you weren’t so sure.
Where did that Jacob go?
You get up, not realising that you’d started crying, or that he was suddenly watching you, eyeing your every movement carefully, his eyebrows raised in - is that concern?
“Mom?” You say in a meek voice.
Your mother turns to look at you for a brief session as Walt and your dad talk about the publishing company.
“Yes, darling?” It was a brisk tone.
“Why is he so - why is he so different? Does he hate me? Did I do something wrong?”
“Why does who hate you, Y/N? Who’s so different? You didn’t do anything wrong,” she was distracted.
“Nothing. It’s OK,” you sigh softly and look down at the shiny polished floor.
You and Jacob were best friends… once.
You go and sit back down. Jacob hadn’t even glanced up from the device at all.
As you do, about to cry, shaking, your phone buzzes.
It was Meg.
MEG 🖤: u at the house yet?
Y/N: yeah. i didn’t think it was so -
MEG 🖤: ha! so bad? i TOLD you he was a dipshit, N/N.
Y/N: but i didn’t think it would be so bad! does he hate me?
MEG 🖤: nah, he’s just a dick. It probably comes with puberty. You’ll get over it.
Y/N: i don’t think so. i have to go. bye.
MEG 🖤: bye, good luck xo
You blink harshly and shut your phone off without bothering to close the app.
You look at him hopefully again. You wanted to scream at him.
Why would he leave you confused after do many years? You were happy to be back.
Really happy. But now you just wanted to go hime.
You totally regretted bothering to have any sort of idea or thought that he would even CARE about your absence and sudden return.
You get up, this time trembling, darting your eyes a third time to his posture.
He ignored you a third time.
That was it - that was all  it took for you to break.
You had no idea what you did to him that he would suddenly hate your guts - why couldn’t things be the same again?
“I’m - I’m going to the bathroom,” you announce in a shaky voice. “It’s down the hall, right?”
It wasn’t down the hall. You just needed to get out.
The adults didn’t even turn around.
You walk quickly, holding your head high, your whole body trembling as you clench your fists tightly, the nails digging into your palms thickly.
Deep enough to leave red marks.
Once you believe you’re out of earshot, you sob, choking back tears as a hand reaches to the door knob.
You just wanted to disappear.
That’s what you were afraid you were going to do, without him. Disappear.
Already, after you moved and lost contact, You entered a state of depression.
Sometimes it got so bad you wanted to hurt yourself but you didn’t.
Jacob, just his name, just the thought of him, kept you alive.
The feeling of his body and skin and the comforting sound of his voice kept you sane.
But now there was no reason to -
“Whatever you’re going to do, stop it.”
Your head whirls around. Angrily, you snap at him.
“Why should I listen to you? You’ve completely ignored me the entire day!”
Tears threaten at your eyes.
He blinks, flinching, his phone suddenly in his pocket.
He makes a swift move toward your clenched fist with his hand, you want to scream at him.
“FIRST YOU IGNORE ME AND NOW YOU WANT TO SAVE MY LIFE?! GET A GRIP, JACOB! WHY WOULD I - ”
“S - save - save your - ” he murmurs, his eyes suddenly a dangerous, dark firery black. “What?! Don’t you fucking DARE.”
“Cottoned on, have you?” You spit.
“Y/N, wait - ”
“ASSHOLE! You rejected me the entire day! You fucking asshole! You - you pushed me away when I tried to hug you - don’t deny it!”
He’s about to stutter something else out at you but you interrupt him quickly.
“You built a wall, Jacob! You put a fucking wall between us and suddenly you’re going to be protective and debate with me the stupid reasons why I shouldn’t kill myself? FUCK OFF!”
“Stop. Stop. You’re making this harder than it already is. Just - please - ”
He’s begging you now.
“I’M NOT LISTENING TO A SINGLE WORD THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR GOOD-FOR-NOTHING MOUTH BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN A TOTAL AND COMPLETE DICK TO ME, JACOB! YOU’VE BEEN A DICK! I MOVE BACK THINKING YOU’LL BE HAPPY BUT ALL YOU DO IS MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT! YOU’RE A DICK! YOU’RE A DICK, JACOB THROMBEY! YOU’RE A FUCKING DICK!”
Now the tears fell. You don’t bother to hide them.
He stiffens. He reaches over but stops himself and you shake him off violently.
“I don’t know why you hate me,” you say quietly. “I don’t know what I did. I’m sorry if it was because I moved, I- it wasnt my choice! Do you think I wanted to move?! Did you REALLY think I WANTED to leave you?!”
“Don’t be retarded,” he hisses. You blink and roll your eyes.
“You can’t stop me from killing - ”
“Yes I can.”
“No you can’t! You can’t, Jacob! Nothing you say will change ANYTHING that I’m going to do right now! Nothing!”
“Yes it will.”
“No it WON’T! Shut up! Just shut UP! You ignored me earlier today so why can’t you ignore me now and let me go on my MERRY FUCKING WAY?!”
“I’ll tell you why,” he says dangerously, his hand grabbing my arm. “If you just listen to me for once in your fucking life.”
“LET GO OF ME, ASSHOLE!”
“You’re not going to do it,” he says calmly, his voice so commanding it made you want to retreat.
“Oh yeah? Give me your WORST.”
“I’ll give you my best,” he says smugly, cocking his head.
“I fucking HATE that STUPID smug smirk,” you hiss.
“You used to like it,” he comments, smirking again.
“JUST SHUT UP!”
“Here’s why you’re not going to kill yourself,” he used the same calm tone which pissed you off to no end.
You spit at him and he flinches.
“I’m really not going to listen to you. I don’t see why I should - ”
“You should,” he starts confidently. “Because I’m about to do this,”
His lips collide with yours. A muffled angry gasp comes put of your mouth but all he does is give another cocky smirk.
Your eyes widen with hatred and loathing. That was one thing you didn’t see coming.
The kiss.
“I hate you,” you mutter. “I really fucking HATE you.”
He doesn’t give you time to breathe, sealing your lips with his once more.
This time it’s more passionate and less rushed. His arms are around your neck, he’s got you pressed tightly into the wall.
You can’t help but tangle your hands in his hair. He smirks again.
Finally he pulls apart.
“So?” He cocks his head. “Was I worth listening to in the end?”
“It still doesn’t explain why you were a dick,” you snap. He groans loudly. “But yeah, I guess.” You add.
“Look, I’m sorry about that, OK? I didn’t mean to. And I did pay attention to you. I was watching you. I saw it coming,”
“You’re a fucking creep, Jacob,” you mutter. “A Nazi and a fucking creep,”
“Maybe,”
“But you’re my creep,”
“That’s true. And you’re mine, and I promise I won’t hurt you any more,”
“Shut up, I know you’re not good at sentimental stuff.”
“You’re right.”
MASTERLIST (requests for jacob/knives out are closed)
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fairylightsandchai · 5 years
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The Internship - Part 1
A/N: Hello! I know I usually don’t post fanfiction to this blog, but I really wanted to participate in @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​‘s Pre-Code Challenge! Just ignore this if you follow me and you’re not interested. 
Pairing: Dark!Professor!Steve Rogers x Reader
Words: >10K
Summary: You are a student in the former-Captain America’s American History class, and you soon notice that Professor Rogers has been paying more than a professional amount of attention to you. But when he approaches you with an internship opportunity that’s too good to be true, how can you say no? 
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(A/N: This fic contains non-con elements, stalking, and manipulation, and in later parts it will inclue rape, breeding kink, and kidnapping. It is also inspired by The Wild Party, a film from 1929. I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think.) 
           You had always wanted to be a writer. When you were a little girl, you’d spent most of your time with your nose in a book and your head in the clouds, dreaming of the day when you would tell stories of your own, stories that connected with people all over the globe.
           And then the Battle of New York had happened.
           You had been in high school during the attack, a shy freshman who had only wanted to blend in and disappear amongst the rest of your classmates. You’d still had your dreams of being a bestselling author someday.
           But, like so many other things in your small, sheltered world, all of that changed the day the Chitauri invaded. You hadn’t been in the city at the time; you’d grown up in upstate New York, about an hour away from the busy metropolis, but it had still shaken your small town to its foundations. It was too close to home, too huge for you and your neighbors to comprehend.
           After it had happened, you spent less time dwelling on fiction and more time focused on the truth; the nonfiction isles of your school’s library became your second home, and you were always the first one in your family to read the Sunday paper. You followed current events almost obsessively, imagining one day having your name printed on the New York Post under a ground-breaking story that would define the rest of your career – the rest of your life.  
           You had not, however, counted on having one of the Avengers as your professors in college, and yet here you were, stood outside the history building of Columbia University with binder in hand, a syllabus and class schedule tucked inside of it.
You hadn’t realized that you would need to take classes on subjects other than writing – you’d known about the needed electives for your course, obviously, but most of them were somehow linked to writing, be it creatively or informatively. Your required history credit had surprised you, though, and your surprise only doubled as you’d scrolled through the available history courses on your student Blackboard account and found a name that stood out amongst the rest. American History (157) – Professor Steven Grant Rogers.
At first you’d chuckled at the coincidence and signed up for it without thinking, but after you’d been accepted into the course, after you’d read and studied its syllabus, you’d started researching your various professors only to find that Professor Steven Grant Rogers…was actually THE Steven Grant Rogers. As in, Captain America himself. As in, one of the people who had fought against the Chitauri and inspired you to seek out journalism.
           And now you were about to walk into his class.
           Letting out a deep sigh, you pushed a strand of your hair out of your eyes and adjusted your cardigan before pushing open the door of the classroom and stepping inside. Looking around, you only noticed a handful of other students, but then again you had arrived fifteen minutes early for class. Your eyes scanned each of their faces before finally meandering to the front of the classroom, immediately picking out the shape of your professor sitting at his desk.
           Even with him sitting behind his desk, you could tell that he was huge. His shoulders were broad, and the fabric of his light blue shirt strained against them as he hunched over, jotting something into a leather notebook. His hair was neat and trimmed, and he had grown out a beard since his retirement from the Avengers. It looked good on him, you mused, but in the middle of your thoughts he turned and looked at you, his piercing blue eyes looking directly into yours, and you froze where you stood.
           You saw his eyes widen for a split second while he took you in, but before you could register the shift in his expression he had put on an easy smile, giving you a small nod.
           “Welcome,” Professor Rogers spoke, his voice warm and genuine.
           You, for your part, answered with an incredibly smooth and well-thought-out response.
           “U-um…” you stammered, shifting on your feet. “Hello.”
           Feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, you ducked your head and darted to the first row of desks and sank into one, willing your heart to stop its infernal pounding. As you silently cursed yourself for being so nervous, you opened your binder and pulled out the only two sheets of paper in it along with your spiral bound notebook before reaching into your backpack and rooting around for a pen.
           He’s just a person, you lectured yourself internally. A person who has saved the world on more than one occasion, but a person, nonetheless. He probably gets tired of people acting differently around him just because he’s-            “Do you need a copy of the syllabus?”
           The voice came from in front of you, and your head popped up to see Professor Rogers standing in front of your desk holding a stack of papers. He held one out to you, but you quickly smiled and picked your syllabus off of your desk.
           “Oh, no, thanks! I printed one off last night,” you explained. “But thank you.”
           His smile grew, and he walked back to his desk, setting the papers back down.
           “You’re prepared; I’m glad to hear it.”
           The minutes ticked by after that, a slow but steady line of students filing into the class as its start time grew nearer. You gauged your peers’ reactions curiously, observing as some hardly seemed to recognize your professor while a few others stopped to ask for a selfie with him. The first time that happened, your eyes had widened their bold question, but the former Avenger bared it gracefully, simply shaking his head and giving them a smile.
           “If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to hold off on that till the end of class,” he’d say. “If you still want one after we’re all done then just stay behind for a few minutes.”
           Finally the clock read 10:30 and Professor Rogers made his way to the front of the desk, right in front of the empty, clean whiteboard. He took a few moments to look out over the full classroom, taking in all of the students before him. When his eyes landed on you, you swore that you saw him linger for a moment, a curious gleam resting in his eyes before he looked away and opened his mouth to speak.
           “Well, everyone, it’s time to get started,” he began. “As you probably know by now, my name is Steve Rogers, and this class is dedicated to American History from 1914 to 1939. I’d like to just say right off the bat that I’m happy to have all of you in my class, and I hope that this course is informative and helpful to each of your personal fields of study.
           “Now to address the elephant in the room,” he said, starting to pace slowly, “yes, I was alive during most of that period of time, and I did use to be known as Captain America. But I hung up that hat a few years ago, and I’d appreciate it if you showed me the same courtesy and respect that you show your other professors. That being said, I don’t want you to hesitate to ask me any personal questions you may have as long as they relate to what we’re discussing in class. Any off topic questions should be kept to yourselves or saved for after we are finished for the day.
           “Any questions?”
           There was a moment of silence as he searched for any raised hands.
           “Is the shield as heavy as it looks?” someone called from the back row, and a few snickers could be heard from around the room.
           Professor Rogers let out a chuckle of his own and pointed to the student who’d asked.
           “That is a great example of a question that should be saved for after class.”
____________
           Steve waved goodbye to the last of his students, only minorly annoyed at how many had stayed late to take a picture with him. As he packed up his things and prepared to head to his office for the rest of the day, he mused that he should have been used to it by now. With social media so prominent in society these days, he’d been hounded for selfies ever since 2012, but they were still (and probably would always be) aggravating to him.
           He didn’t linger on that today, though; he had so many other important things to think about, after all. And most of them revolved around you.
           A smile twisted his features as he remembered how you’d looked when you’d first walked into his class – so shy and hesitant but just as gorgeous as always. He’d been so pleased to see you wearing your long green cardigan today; it was one of his favorites. Mostly because of that time he’d seen you walking around your little apartment wearing nothing but your bra and panties under it, but he had to admit that you’d looked almost just as sexy wearing it with those brown leggings you’d had on today.
           As he made his way across campus to the building his office was in, he didn’t even try to hide the smirk on his face; he finally had accomplished the first part of his plan. He’d hoped to have you in his class sooner, but it had been hard finding someone to hack into the school records to add that history credit to your list of prerequisites. Well, rather, it had been hard finding someone discreet enough to get the job done. Plenty of his friends would have been able to do it without any problem; hell, Tony probably had done that exact same thing in the past. But they would have asked questions, and he couldn’t afford to have people poking around in something that didn’t concern them.
           A part of Steve knew that this wasn’t the right way of going about having you; the Steve from before Thanos would have been disgusted with his actions, absolutely repulsed at what he was planning to do. But after the snap, after he’d watched so many people he’d cared about turn to dust, something in him had changed. He’d tried so hard, so goddamn hard, to do the right thing, but in the end it hadn’t been good enough to stop everything from happening. And even now, after Thanos was dead and the fallen had been brought back, he was still different than before. He’d done the right thing his entire life, and all he’d gotten from it was heartache.
           But now he would finally claim what he deserved. He would claim you.
           The first time he’d seen you, it had been in the campus coffee shop. He had only been teaching for a year at the time, and he hadn’t foreseen how overwhelming it could be. While the students were cramming and stressing over finals, he was clamoring to compile the perfect exam for his class, the perfectionist in him never fully satisfied and constantly worrying if he had enough questions, if they were balanced enough, if they were too easy or too hard or irrelevant to the course.
           Basically, he had been frazzled, and all he’d wanted was a small black coffee and a corner booth at the café to work on his laptop in. But then he’d seen you.
You were sitting at a table with a girl around your age, and the two of you were laughing about something; it must have been hilarious, because your head was thrown back and your eyes were closed as your laugh bubbled out of your smiling lips. It was in that moment that he knew that love at first sight existed. Every love song he’d ever heard had suddenly sounded in his ears, and he stood there as if frozen as he watched you, his eyes already straining to remember every little detail about your face.            
After that day, he’d started seeing you on campus more and more often, though that might have been because he was following you. In his mind, though, it wasn’t following. It was…researching. He had to know if he’d been mistaken, if that electric feeling he’d felt upon seeing you had somehow been something other than love at first sight.
But as days turned to weeks turned to months of him following you, of him watching you while you were none the wiser, he knew that he hadn’t been mistaken. It seemed fell for you more and more with everything he learned about you and your life. Your body, your mind, your very soul seemed to be meant for him.
There was a problem, though. On the third day of him watching you, you and your friend from the café (he’d learned that her name was Tina) had gone to the library to study together, and he’d overheard you telling her something that made his heart sink.            “So… You’ve been in college for a year now,” Tina had started, and you’d groaned, knowing where she was going even before she said anything else.
“No, Tina,” you sighed.
“What! I’m just wondering when you’re planning on finding yourself a man,” your friend insisted as you rolled your eyes.
“Is never a viable answer?”
“No – you and I both know it’s not. C’mon, you’ve talked about wanting to meet your dream man since high school!”
“Well, yeah, I’ve talked about it,” you’d said. “Talking about something and actually doing it are two different things, babe.”
“I knowww,” Tina had sighed. “But c’mon, now is the time to be looking for people to share a future with.”
You’d snorted a bark of laughter at that.
“It most certainly is not,” you’d countered. “I need to focus on my career right now, Tina. Even IF I met Mr. Right, I’m not gonna start a serious relationship until after college. I gotta put myself first right now.”
“I guess I see where you’re coming from,” she’d huffed. “I get it. But you could just, you know…fool around, right? College is the time for experimentation! Don’t you wanna get that cherry popped before you graduate?”
“TINA!”
“What!” your friend had laughed. “I know you’re dying to turn in that v-card of yours.”
Steve had had to stop listening at that point. With a muffled curse, he’d turned on his heel and all but fled from the library, feeling his heart soar and shatter all at once. On one hand, that same sick part of him that was driving his actions was all but singing; if your friend had been telling the truth, then you were a virgin. His (Y/N) really was a good girl – something that was rare to find these days, especially in young college girls. A sweet, innocent girl just like he’d always dreamed about starting a family with.
But, on the other hand, you were determined to hold off on relationships until the end of college. And even if you’d be willing to let Steve be the exception to that rule, that still didn’t change the fact that you were a student and he was a member of the faculty; he would not only lose his job if the two of you were found out, but he was sure that reporters and journalists would jump at the opportunity to write an exposé  about Captain America taking advantage of a student at the university he taught at.
No, he would have to be smart about this. He knew he didn’t want to wait for you to finish your four-year degree, but he also couldn’t risk either of your reputations with some kind of forbidden relationship, if you’d even have him. He would have to think this through. He would have to come up with a plan.
___________
You were surprised at how quickly you got used to having Captain America as a teacher. You would still get nervous when he spoke directly to you, of course, but the insight he had to offer was priceless. It was one thing to learn about a period of history from a textbook, but it was another thing entirely to learn about it from someone who was actually there.
Professor Rogers was knowledgeable and kind to all of his students, and your favorite parts of his lectures were when your classmates would raise their hands and ask him about what it was like to live during whatever part of history you were learning about. You’d learned about Captain America and his backstory in high school history classes, of course, but the way he would answer those personal questions showed a whole different side of him. But you were starting to wonder if that new side of him was as golden as his status as a hero made him out to be.
Recently, something seemed a little bit off about him, as much as you hated to admit it. It only would happen in brief little flashes, so brief that immediately after you would find yourself questioning whether or not it had actually happened, but you could swear that he’d been…staring a lot recently. Specifically, he would be staring at you.
More and more often in class, you would start to feel like you were being watched; it was if you could sense eyes on you just out of the corner of your vision, and it would make your hairs stand on end. Usually, you would turn and see nothing out of the ordinary, and you would be able to chalk it up to an overactive imagination. But every now and then, you would turn and see Professor Rogers staring at you, his jaw clenched and his eyes dark.
As soon as it would happen, his expression would clear into a neutrally polite smile, and you always tried to return it to the best of your ability. But as the weeks went by, it was happening more and more frequently. And then there were the touches.
Mr. Rogers never touched you in an inappropriate way; you were almost certain that he never would. But whenever he would collect your papers, or whenever he would pass out assignments, his hand would always seem to linger. Sometimes, he would let his fingertips drag against yours as he took whatever you were handing to him; sometimes, he would set his hand on your shoulder for the briefest of moments when you dropped an assignment off with him before leaving class.
He’d also started commenting about your appearance at the beginning of class. From the moment you walked in the door to the moment you sat down in your seat, he’d manage to make some comment on your outfit. The first time he’d said something was on one of the many occasions where you were wearing your favorite cardigan.
“You look very nice today, (Y/N),” he’d mentioned in passing, almost making you stumble on your way to your seat. You’d barely managed to stutter out a ‘thank you’. After that, it happened every time you saw him, and some part of your mind whispered that he never complimented your classmates the way he would compliment you.
“I like how you did your hair this morning,” he’d said the next time.
“Like the new jeans, (Y/N),” the week after. (How had he even known those jeans were new?)
“That’s a nice color on you.”
“Looking lovely as always.”
You did love having Professor Rogers as your teacher, but each class with him made you feel increasingly uncomfortable despite your best efforts. In your mind, you knew that you were reading too much into it, but that was never able to stop you from feeling a cold shiver run up your back when you’d see him glaring at you from behind his desk.
           Despite your growing anxiety about your history professor, though, you were settling in quite nicely to your day to day routine. Your favorite days were Fridays, though; you spent your afternoons right before the weekend with your best friend, Tina. She had been your friend since junior year of high school, and while the two of you were opposites when it came to most things, the bond you shared was strong and deep.
           This Friday, however, she’d had to cancel your weekly study session; Tina was in Columbia’s dental department, and every now and then her and the other aspiring dentists would do volunteer events to help people in the surrounding area get free dental care. You were always proud of her when she took part in events like those, but you always felt a little lonelier on Friday afternoons.
           After spending the morning sleeping in and meal prepping for the week, you set out on your way to the library without your best friend in tow; you would just have to study on your own that week, especially with the first test of the semester looming over you in Mr. Roger’s class. He was kind to his students, yes, but he was also demanding. He’d made it abundantly clear that he expected quality work out of his students.
           “This is an advanced class,” he would say. “I expect you to be advanced learners.”
           Pulling your heavy wool jacket tighter around your body, you trudged into the library and sat at yours and Tina’s regular table towards the back, opening your history textbook and busting out your favorite blue highlighter; this would be a study session of the ages, not interrupted by anything or anybody-
           “(Y/N), is that you?”
           …Maybe you’d spoken too soon.
           Looking up, you saw none other than the man whose class you were about to be studying for. Professor Rogers was walking over to you with one hand in his pocket; in his other rested a copy of The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, and you smiled as you read its title.
           “Hi, Professor,” you greeted him. You made to stand up out of your chair, but before you could he took his hand out of his pocket and set it on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly.
           “Oh, no, don’t get up on my account. What brings you here today? Got a big test coming up or something?”
           You forced a weak smile to your lips, acutely aware that his hand was still on your shoulder.
           “Oh, yeah,” you managed to joke. “One of my pesky teachers is giving us a test next Thursday.”
           “Who does he think he is?” your teacher chuckled. Finally, he let his hand slide off of your shoulder, and you once again looked at the book he was holding.
           “The Book Thief?” you asked, nodding to it. “Are you checking it out?”
           “Oh! Yeah. For the second time, actually. It’s one of my favorites.”
           “Really? It’s one of my favorites too!”
           Steve grinned, even though he’d already known that. He’d read most of the books you had on your shelf at home; at first, he’d done it to try and draw closer to you, to see what kind of stories you liked. But after a while he just did it because you had good taste; the only book of yours that had disappointed him was a cheesy teenager romance you’d had since high school, but even then he thought it was adorable that you found enjoyment in such things.
           “It sure is a small world, huh?” he drawled, pulling out the chair across the table from yours. “Do you mind if I join you for a little while?”
           You hesitated, looking between the chair he was already half sitting in and the charming smile he had on his face. Something about the whole thing seemed off to you, but you shook away that feeling and nodded your head.
           “Be my guest,” you finally said, and your professor didn’t hesitate to sink into his seat.
           “Thanks, doll.”
           You felt your cheeks heat up at that and quickly gave him what you hoped was more of a convincing smile.
           “N-no problem, Mr. Rogers,” you hurriedly assured him. A smirk stretched across his lips as he reached across the table, letting his hand rest on the back of yours.
           “I’ll never get used to people calling me that,” he chuckled. “How about you just call me Steve when we’re not in class?”
           Your eyes widened and you gulped, eyes flickering between his face and his hand, so warm against yours.
           “Wouldn’t that be, uh… unprofessional?” Your voice was higher pitched than usual as you said it, and it only made his smile grow.
           “Not if we kept it our little secret. You wouldn’t tell anyone, would you?”
           He arched his eyebrows questioningly at you, and for some reason you immediately shook your head.
           “No, I… I wouldn’t tell anyone, Prof- Steve.”
           Steve tried his best to keep his face neutral, but on the inside, he felt like fire works were going off in his head upon hearing you say his name. He knew it would sound sweet in your soft voice, and if it sounded good now, he couldn’t imagine how nice it would be to hear you moan it. One day, he promised himself. One day.
           You squirmed in your seat as Professor Ro- Steve, you told yourself, Steve – watched you. After a few seconds of silence you hesitantly leaned forward.
           “Steve?”
           He seemed to snap back to reality, and once more his ever-present smile was carefully arranged on his face.
           “Sorry, sorry,” he said, clearing his throat. “I, uh… Zoned out there for a second.”
           “It’s ok,” you assured him. “I do that in your class all the time.”
           “Hey,” he laughed, “C’mon, that’s not nice.”
           You chuckled at your own joke and shrugged.
           “I’m just joking,” you assured him.
           “Oh, I don’t know,” he grinned. “Maybe that’s why you and Tina are always studying together.”
           You opened your mouth to defend yourself, but something stopped you from saying anything. Something about what he’d just said didn’t quite make sense, you told yourself.
           Steve furrowed his brows at the look on your face.
           “You ok over there, doll?”
           “Y-yeah,” you nodded rapidly, turning to collect your things as alarm bells kept going off in your head. “I’m fine. I actually just remembered something; I have to go.”
           “Go? So soon? I didn’t chase you off, did I?” His lips were lifted into a half-smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes as he watched you pack up your books.
           “Oh, no!” you were quick to exclaim. “No, not at all! I just… I just left one of my textbooks at home. I’m so stupid.”
           You finally slung your bag over your shoulder and made to leave, but all of a sudden there was an iron-like grip encircling your upper arm. You whipped your head around so quickly that for a moment your hair obscured your vision. When you shook it away, you saw Steve watching you with slightly narrowed eyes, his smirk still on his lips.
           For a moment, you just stared at him, feeling your heartbeat quicken as his thumb idly rubbed circles against your bicep.
           “Don’t call yourself stupid,” he finally muttered, letting his hand fall. “You’re a smart girl, (Y/N). I’m sure you’re just feeling a little…overwhelmed. From your classes, that is.”
           You nodded numbly, taking a small step backwards, taking yourself out of arm’s reach.
           “Y-yeah… That must be it. Sorry, Steve.”
           You turned and walked away, just barely catching his next few words.
           “No problem, hon.”
           You felt his eyes on you all the way out of the library, and the feeling didn’t go away until you fell asleep that night, the sound of his voice echoing in your ears and the line of his smile still etched behind your eyelids. Just before you drifted off, it suddenly came to you, the reason why you’d felt such a sudden need to leave him.
           How had he known that you were friends with Tina?
_____
           Steve sighed as he sank into his armchair, watching you fall asleep through his telescope; one day he would really have to talk to you about leaving your blinds open.
           Once he was sure you were asleep for the night, he looked around his small apartment, thinking about your little study session in the library. When you’d left in such a hurry, he’d felt angry at first, just barely able to keep himself from snapping at you to sit back down. It was rude to just run off like that, after all.
           But then he’d heard your heartbeat, pounding away in your soft, sweet chest, and he’d understood: you were nervous around him. The fact had made him so giddy that he’d excused your impolite behavior this time, letting you go and waiting a few minutes before following you back to your apartment. You were nervous around him, and he was willing to bet it was because of your feelings. He’d been watching you even closer than usual for the past month, watching how you’d squirm in your seat in class when your eyes met his, feeling your quickening pulse anytime his hand lingered on yours.
           You were starting to fall for him, he just knew it.
           He stood up from his armchair, wandering over to his tiny kitchen and grabbing a beer for himself. It would all be worth it someday – the tiny apartment he’d bought just to be closer to you, the time he’d dedicated to watching you each day, the expensive hidden bugs he’d planted in your house so he could listen in on your life. One day, when you were well and truly his, he would move out of this apartment and buy a home for the two of you, one big enough for the family you would have.
           He could see it even now as he settled back into his favorite chair, peeking through the telescope to glance at your sleeping form. One day, you would be able to quit your silly dream of journalism and be his wife, focusing on him and the children you would have. Oftentimes, Steve would imagine five or six little kids running around the house, even though he knew it was unreasonable to think of such things.
           You guys would stop at four, he’d decided.
           His cock twitched in his sweatpants at the idea of you round and swollen with his child. You would be such a good mother, such a good wife. You would be everything he’d ever wanted.
           With a sigh, he took his cock out, stroking it leisurely as he kept your eyes on your face, peaceful and oblivious as you slept on. He hoped you were dreaming about him, fantasizing about him the way he was fantasizing about you right now.
           He let out a soft moan at the idea of what your first time together would be like. You would lead him into your bedroom, hand in his as your hips swayed with your stride. He would sit on the edge of the bed as you stripped, watching as each delicious inch of your skin was slowly revealed to him. You would be wearing white, lacy lingerie, as pure and unsullied as your body.
           His hand moved faster on his cock as he imagined what you’d taste like, what it would be like to have his face buried between your legs, his tongue delving into your tight, wet heat as you bucked and squirmed against him. You’d pull his hair and moan his name, your voice getting higher and breathier the closer you got to your release.
           But he wouldn’t give it to you, oh no. Not with his tongue at least. He would pull away at the last second and hold you in his arms, his eyes not leaving yours for a second as he pushed his cock into you. He would go slow, at first. He knew it would be your first time, and the last thing he ever, ever wanted was to hurt you. A small part of him still wondered, though, what noise you would make as he pressed into you for the first time, how his cock would look coated in your cum and blood, how your face would contort in that strange mix of pleasure and pain as he took your innocence.
           All too soon, though, he was brought back to reality when he felt his cum coat the back of his hand, and as he came down from his release, he felt a familiar surge of disappointment that it wasn’t your pussy that was making him cum, that his were the only moans to be heard in his lonely apartment.
           He shoved his cock back into his pants and took one last look at you before standing up to go clean himself off. You were still sleeping, innocent and unaware of all the plans he had in store for you.
_______
           You debated skipping your next class with Steve. As each day went by, you got more and more paranoid. Whether you were at work, walking from class to class, or even at the grocery store, you kept thinking you saw Steve. You would catch a glimpse of blonde hair or broad shoulders and do a double-take, but every time you saw nothing out of the ordinary.
           Part of you still thought you were overreacting. He was your teacher, for god’s sake. And he was a former Avenger; if anything, you should’ve felt safer in his presence.
           When Thursday came around, you pushed down your desire to skip class and soldiered on, stopping for a coffee on the way and taking your seats just a few minutes before class began. The teacher you’d been so paranoid about was seated behind his desk, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he stared at his laptop.
           As you passed him on the way to your seat, his bright blue eyes darted upwards, and he gave you a soft smile like he always did when you walked into his classroom.
           “Good morning, (Y/N),” he greeted you. “That’s a nice sweater you got on today.”
           “Good morning, professor,” you’d murmured back, shoving your hands into your pockets. “Thank you.”
           You scurried over to your seat and plopped down into it. With all of your nerves, you’d almost forgotten to study for the test today. You’d only managed to cram in about half an hour last night; all of your other attempts at studying had found you without the ability to focus on the textbooks in front of you, mind wandering distractedly.
           “Alright, guys,” your professor finally sighed, standing up from his desk and grabbing a stack of papers off of it. “Before we get started with this test, do any of you have any questions?”
           When no one raised their hand, he nodded and started passing them out. As he set your test on your desk, you looked to see him wink at you, his lips curving upwards.
           “Good luck,” he whispered, and your cheeks heated as you slid the paper closer to yourself.
           After that, you made a decided effort not to make any more eye contact with your teacher as you started writing out your answers. Mr. Rogers had only ever given you guys essay questions, encouraging his students to write out their thought processes behind each of their answers. You kind of resented him for it; essay questions were always, without fail, tedious.
           The minutes ticked by slowly, the only sounds in the room behind the scratches of pens and pencils against papers and the occasional rustle when someone would flip their page over. You were amongst the first ones to finish, and when you dropped your test off with Steve at his desk, his hand once again found a way to linger against your own.
           Biting your lip, you drew your hand back quicker than usual, scurrying back to your desk and pulling a book out of your bag to read. Not that you actually read it; your eyes stayed steadily on one sentence for the next several minutes. When they finally did lift off of the page, they immediately found your teacher’s eyes, boring into you with that same dark intensity. You shivered as you snapped your gaze back to the page in front of you.
           When everyone had finished with their tests, Professor Rogers stood from his desk chair and cleared his throat, drawing all attention to himself.
           “Alright, good job guys. Feeling good about how you did?” There were a few grumbles and murmurings heard throughout the room; apparently you weren’t alone in your dislike of essay questions. “I’ll take that as a yes.
           “So I thought that I would cut today’s class short this week,” he went on, and all of you perked up at the idea of leaving early. “Before you all head out, though, I wanted to tell you about a new internship opportunity I’m spearheading.
           “For the time being, the details of the internship are being kept under wraps, but I can say that it involves travelling to New York City for a week and keeping a field journal while you’re there. What you’ll be doing in New York, unfortunately, can’t be disclosed right now.”
           You sat up straighter in your seat, interest piqued. A field journal? It sounded like whatever the internship was involved journalism skills. (Or scientific skills – you were pretty sure scientists kept field journals, at least. You shrugged that idea off pretty quickly, though; why would a history professor be in charge of a scientific internship?)
           “If you’re interested in applying for it, you’ll need to write an essay and turn it in to me at the beginning of next week’s class. The essay needs to be about a historic event that has somehow impacted your personal life, and it can be from any era of history, not just the one we’re learning about in class… Oh, and make it over 1,500 words in length. Any questions?”
           A few students raised their hands, but you tuned them out as you thought over what you would write about. That is, if you decided to apply for it. You still had no idea what the internship was for, after all. But, you reasoned, if it didn’t turn out to be something you were interested in, you could always say no, right?
           “…Alright, guys, you’re free to go. Email me if you have any questions about your test grades once they’re posted,” Steve finally said, and you distractedly started putting your things away, still thinking about what you would write about.
           When you finally stood up from your desk, you went to sling your backpack over your shoulder only to feel it hit against something. Or, if the small “oof” that had sounded upon impact was anything to go by, someone.
           Your hand flew up to your mouth when you turned and saw none other than your teacher standing there, having just been hit in the stomach by your bag – your very heavy bag, which contained no less than three textbooks inside of it.
           “Professor Rogers! Oh my god, I am so sorry-“ you started, but he waved it off with a good-natured grin.
           “Don’t worry about it, (Y/N),” he insisted, waving off your concern. “I’ve survived much worse, believe me.”
           You smiled a little at that and finished putting your bookbag over your shoulders.
           “Still, I’m sorry. I promise I’ve never assaulted any of my professors before.”
           “A likely story, Miss (Y/L/N),” he joked. “A likely story.”
The two of you were silent for a beat before he cleared his throat and gestured to you.
“I was just wanting to ask if you were planning on applying for that internship I mentioned.”
           “Oh, uh… Yeah, I was, actually. Why do you ask?”
           “Well… I know that I said I couldn’t go into what exactly the internship entails, but I did want to mention to you that it involves some journalism. That’s what you’re majoring in, right?”
           You nodded, feeling excited about your suspicions being correct.
           “It is, yeah! I thought it might have something to do with it when you mentioned field journaling,” you said. “Could I ask what the journaling would be about, or would that give too much away?”
           “It would give way too much away,” your teacher confirmed. “But trust me, I think it’ll be up your alley.”  
           Your mind turned it over, taking in Steve’s raised eyebrows and expectant smile. He seemed even more eager than you were about the internship.
           “Well, I’ll make sure to write my essay for it,” you assured him. “Just gotta think of what I’ll be writing about.” Your brain had already pondered writing about the Battle of New York; sure, it hadn’t even been ten years since it happened, but it was a historical event. And it was the main reason you’d wanted to pursue journalism, of course. But you almost died with embarrassment at the idea of writing an essay about something Captain America was involved in and then letting it be read by Captain America himself.
           As if reading your thoughts, Steve asked, “Any idea about what your subject will be on?”
           “Oh, uh…” you muttered, “I-I had one idea, but I don’t think I’m gonna go with it.”
           “Why not?”
           “Well…” You sighed, not able to meet his eyes as you confessed, “My immediate thought was the Battle of New York. I know you probably don’t like being reminded of it, but it just… It changed my world, the entire way I view things – it’s what made me want to be a journalist. After the invasion, the world – the universe, really – seemed so much bigger, and it made me want to tell stories about the reality we live in now rather than telling stories that are fiction.”
           You trailed off, looking back up at him sheepishly when you realized you were rambling. He was watching you with an intent look on his face, and for a second you were worried that the memory had upset him.
           “I’m so sorry, Mr. Rogers. I didn’t mean-“
           “No, no,” he interrupted, shaking his head, “don’t be. I understand; it kinda turned my world upside down, too. I’d thought that waking up from the 40’s had been disorienting enough, but… When I saw aliens on the streets of the city I grew up in, it really made me feel like I wasn’t in Kansas anymore.”
           Your lips twitched into a half-smile.
           “Was that a Wizard of Oz reference?”
           “…It sure was,” Steve grinned. “Old fashioned, I know, but it was one of my favorites growing up.”
           “Me too,” you nodded. The man in front of you chuckled at that and you arched an eyebrow questioningly.
           “What is it?” you asked.
           “Nothing, it’s just…not too often that I have something from my childhood in common with someone else these days,” he answered.
           Your heart squeezed with compassion for the soldier in front of you, and without realizing what you were doing, you’d rested your hand on his shoulder. You didn’t know what to say, but you knew what you wanted to; you wanted to tell him that you were sorry for what he went through, that you would never be able to understand what it had been like for him but that you knew it had to have been hard. For a second, you regretted ever feeling uncomfortable around him; hadn’t he proven his entire life that he just wanted to do what was right?
           You said none of that, though, and after a second you let your hand slide down to your side.
           “I’ll have that essay ready for you next week,” you promised him, and with that you turned and left the room, not even feeling the weight of his stare on your back as you retreated.
           For several moments, Steve just stood there, glaring at the spot you’d been standing in and feeling himself fall for you even more. Because even though you hadn’t said any of what you’d been thinking, he was able to read it all in your eyes.
­­­­______
           You’d missed your study session with Tina that week again; for the next several days, when you weren’t working on homework for your other classes, you were working on your essay. You didn’t know why you felt such a sudden need to do well on it; something in you just couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing Steve. Plus, you’d never before written about your feelings on the Battle of New York and what it had meant to you.
           Even though Steve had said the word limit was 1,500, your final essay clocked in over 3,000 words, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to shorten it. You’d dedicated an entire week to making it perfect, and you finally got to the point where you didn’t want to change a single word.        
           When that fateful Thursday came around, you gave Steve a bright smile as you set your stapled essay onto his desk. Judging from the pile of papers resting on it, you hadn’t been the only one to apply for the internship, but you didn’t feel nervous about your odds; either you got in or you didn’t. You were content knowing you’d done your best.
           “You seem like you’re in a good mood,” Steve noticed, and you winked, actually fucking winked, at him, wondering a second later why you’d even done such a thing.
           “I’m just happy to be done with that essay,” you confessed, continuing on to your seat. “I spent all week perfecting it.”
           Steve grinned, knowing for a fact that you were telling the truth. He’d kept an ever-so-diligent eye on you since your last conversation, watching as you typed away on your laptop ceaselessly, feeling satisfied to know that all your work was for him. His heart soared this morning to see you so happy, and he’d felt butterflies, actual goddamn butterflies, in his chest when you’d winked at him.
           Class went by as usual, closing off with a list of chapters to be read and homework to be completed before the next class. In fact, the rest of your day went by uneventfully, and the only thing out of the ordinary came in the form of an email on Friday morning.
           You were standing in your kitchen, just wearing your most comfy pair of sweatpants and a tank top, sipping some coffee when you heard your phone ding with a notification. Opening up the email, you felt yourself gulp so fast that your coffee burned your throat as you read it.
           Dear (Y/N),
           Good morning! I know that this is last minute, but would you be willing to come see me in my office today at 11 am? I would like to discuss your essay with you. I’m in the C Building, third floor, Room 212.
           Sincerely,
                       Steve Rogers
           You looked up to the clock on your microwave and cursed when you saw what time it was – 10:34. You set your coffee down so quickly that some of it spilled on your pants as you rushed to your room, throwing on some jeans and a cream cable knit sweater before rushing to gather your phone, keys, and wallet. It usually only took you ten minutes to get to campus from your apartment, but the C Building was basically on the other side of the continent from student parking.
           You sped in your tiny, beat up car all the way to your college, power walking to the administrative building while huffing and puffing; this was the most exercise you’d gotten in a while, what with your busy schedule.
           After an agonizingly slow elevator ride, you reached the third floor and glanced at your phone as you passed by several offices – it was 10:58. You felt your lips spread into a grin.
           When you finally reached room 212, you hesitantly rose your fist to knock on its door, but before you could make contact it was opened from the inside. Steve looked down at you with a smile as you jumped.
           “Sorry! Didn’t mean to surprise you,” he said sheepishly. “I heard you walking up the hall.”
           “…Super hearing?” you guessed, and he nodded bashfully.
           He gestured for you to follow him into the room, your nose immediately flooded with the scent of something delicious. Your eyes fell on two bags from your favorite café on campus, and you could distinctly make out the smell of their turkey bacon wafting up from within.
           “I hope you don’t mind that I got some food for us,” he said, settling into the cushy office chair placed on the side of the desk opposite to you. “I know you haven’t eaten yet, and all I’ve had was coffee-“
           “How?” you interrupted him, feeling that old coil of unease wrap itself around you. “How did you know I haven’t eaten yet, that is?”
           Steve’s lips parted and his eyes widened for a split second after you’d asked, but he quickly schooled his features back into something more neutral.
           “Oh, sorry,” he chuckled. “I shouldn’t have said that I knew you hadn’t eaten; it was just a guess. I’m assuming I was right?”
           You warily nodded, slowly walking over to the chair he had situated in front of his desk. The door behind you was still cracked open, something that helped comfort you enough to reach into the nearest bag and pull out a to-go box.
           “I got you some turkey bacon and a cheese biscuit,” he said as you opened the package up. “And there’s some blueberry muffins in the other bag if you’d like any.”
           Your hands trembled as you took a bite of your bacon; it was the exact same order you usually got for breakfast.
           You were so focused on swallowing your bite of food that you jolted when you heard the man in front of you clear his throat. Your head popped up to see him watching you with an expectant face, tapping his fingertips on the desk beneath him.
           “U-um…” you stuttered, not sure of what he was expecting you to do or say.
           “It probably shouldn’t bother me, but… Back in my day, we thanked people when they got us something,” Steve shrugged, trying to pass off his words as nonchalant. You could see the way his fists were clenched, though, and it made your heartbeat quicken.
           “Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry,” you exclaimed. “I, um… Thank you, Steve. For breakfast.”
           Your cheeks were on fire, and you felt your palms getting sweaty as you set down your piece of bacon; maybe you weren’t so hungry after all.
           Steve, though, just smiled gently and dug into the matching box of food he had placed before himself.
           “It’s ok, doll,” he hummed. “Bad manners are just a pet peeve of mine. Go ahead and eat.”
           The food felt like cardboard against your teeth as you hesitantly obeyed, still uncomfortable from how Steve had just spoken to you. You began to squirm in your chair as the minutes ticked on, the only sounds in his office coming from your quiet eating. Finally, when you couldn’t take it anymore, you cleared your throat and spoke so quietly that Steve probably wouldn’t have been able to hear you if not for his advanced hearing.
           “So, um… In your email you mentioned my essay?” you asked, sitting up straighter. “Did you want to talk with me about it today?”
           He smiled and set down the muffin he’d been working on, leaning his elbows against his desk and looking at you with a gleam in his eyes.
           “That’s right, (Y/N),” he answered, his face so bright and excited that it was almost easy to forget how harsh his tone had been just a minute ago. “I wanted you to be the first to know that you got the internship.”
           You blinked a few times, feeling surprised despite how hard you’d worked on your essay.
           “Really?” you asked, slowly starting to smile again. “I did?”
           “Of course,” Steve insisted. “Your essay was the best out of the bunch; it’s obvious that you want to be a writer.”
           “Thank you so much, sir,” you said, hurrying to say so after what had happened the last time you hadn’t been grateful for his kindness. “That…means a lot.”
           “Well, it’s true,” he assured you. “And now you get to know what the internship actually is; I know you were curious about it yesterday.”
           You nodded eagerly, watching as he leaned back in his chair.
           “A few months ago, I decided that I wanted to write an autobiography,” he began, thumbs twiddling in his lap. “I’ve never been much of a writer, but I figured that it would be nice to try and put my story down on paper. And I thought that it would be a great idea to go back to Brooklyn, where I grew up, and write down what’s changed about it and what’s the same as a sort of opening for the first chapter of my book.
           “That’s where you come in,” he added, pointing to you before setting his hands on his desk. “I wanted to go back to Brooklyn with someone who grew up in this century, someone who could help me take notes on that part of the city and who I could bounce ideas off of. After all, most of my readers would be people who have no clue about what the 40’s were like. I’d need someone to hear my ideas and tell me if they’re relevant and if they’d appeal to folks these days.”
           Your head was already turning with ideas on how he could link his past to his present in the beginning of his novel; the writer in you was salivating that the idea of this project, and you opened your mouth to tell Steve that you’d take the position.
           But then you hesitated, slowly closing your mouth again as you looked at the man seated across from you. You remembered every time he’d made you uncomfortable, every doubt you’d had about him, every time he’d made you squirm under his penetrative gaze. Would you be able to work with him one on one without feeling so nervous around him?
           “I’m…flattered that you think I’m a good fit for the job,” you started out, “And this is such an amazing opportunity, but… Um, would we the alone in Brooklyn or would there be other people with us?”
           Steve’s brows furrowed; clearly, he hadn’t expected that question.
           “Why would it matter?” he asked, voice hard as steel.
           “Well, I just… I wouldn’t want anyone getting the wrong i-idea, you know?” you stammered. “I wouldn’t want them to think-“
           “No one would know,” he interrupted. “For obvious reasons, this project is being kept strictly confidential. You would have to sign a non-disclosure agreement before we left.”
           Your doubt must have read on your face, because Steve’s face softened, and he slowly stood up, walking around to stand in front of your chair.
           “Hey, (Y/N),” he said softly. “You know you don’t have to worry about me, right? I understand that you can be…shy, but think of this as a week off! I’ve already talked to the school board, and your absences with your other classes won’t be counted against you. We’ll go to the city, take our notes, maybe even have a little fun.
           “Whatya say?”
           You sighed and let your head droop, looking down to your clenched hands as they rested in your lap. You liked his words; they were kind and considerate, but they didn’t reach his eyes. No, they were dark, a stormy gray-ish blue as he watched you intently.
           “I… I’m still not sure,” you murmured weakly. “Could I have some time to-“
           “It’s a paid internship,” Steve interrupted you, his voice just barely edging to desperate. “And I would let you write the Forward to my novel. Think about it, (Y/N) – your name on the cover of ‘Captain America’s’,” he rolled his eyes at the name, “autobiography. You’ll be able to have any job you want when you graduate. A guaranteed successful start to your career.”
           You paused at that, eyes widening at the thought; he had a point. You’d be a famous writer even before the beginning of your writing career. And your bank account was laughable at the moment; you only had a part-time job at the college library, and it definitely didn’t pay much.
           Your head tilted up and your eyes met Steve’s, and he was wearing a smile that spoke volumes; he knew what you were going to say even before you said it.
           “I’ll do it.”
_______
           Steve let out a soft grunt as he came, his hand finally stilling on his cock before he tucked it back into his pants. You’d left his office hours ago, but his mind hadn’t stopped thinking of you since you’d said those three little words. He was coming close to the end of his plan; his reward was so close now. He could practically taste it – taste you.
           He wasn’t happy that he’d had to bribe you, of course. He hated the idea that you were just saying yes because of the money and success he could offer you. But if that’s what it took to make you his, then he would do it. It was worth it for your future children, for your future life.
           Letting out a soft sigh, he stood up, putting in his airpods and selecting his favorite app on his phone. With a press of a button, he could hear the sound of your soft humming as you turned the pages of your textbook. The camera in your living room showed you curled up on your couch, studying like the good little student you were. Soon you wouldn’t have to work so hard; Steve would give you everything you could ever want or need – a family, a house, a ring on your finger… He smiled at the thought.
           He shoved his phone into his back pocket, keeping his airpods in so he could listen to the sound of your humming as background noise. He grabbed his keys and headed out, tucking his laptop under his arm as he started walking out of the building. The two of you would leave for New York in a week, and he had so many preparations to make. His back-up plan still needed to be put in order, though he hoped he wouldn’t have to use it with you.
           You were different from all the others – sweet, obedient, smart… Whatever ended up happening, Steve knew that you would see things his way eventually. The two of you were meant to be, after all.
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writtenbyhappynerds · 4 years
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Fanfiction 101 Unit 2: Formatting and Text
Ok. So we’ve established the rules of the universe, which is a fancy phrase that means set parameters that meet the standards of the world and stick to them to keep continuity and cohesion. Before we continue onward, let’s talk about the thing that will absolutely make any new reader click off immediately: bad formatting.
       Bad formatting can really make or break your fanfiction and there is no excuse for it. Even if the fanfiction is the next Brave New World, if I as a reader don’t have breaks in the paragraphs when the scene changes or someone new is talking, I will not sit through it. I’m not going to try and sort through what is going on, and who’s talking. On top of that, bad formatting looks bad on the author. It looks like you don’t care enough about your story to use good paragraphs, grammar, and punctuation. Fortunately, there is a solution. Grammarly’s beta is free. You can add it as an extension to google chrome. Write your fanfiction in google docs and let it correct your grammar for you. This series is checked for grammar by not only my Editor but Grammarly. However, grammar is just half the battle.
       A break in paragraphs, ie: a new paragraph appears when there is a change in who is speaking, in location, or in action. You should start a new paragraph when there is a new idea, when your readers need a break, and when you want to present contrasting information.
       When we say, “new idea,” we mean the same thing as a change in location or action. If Leonardo and Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been sitting in the sewers for five minutes and now are going to the surface, you would start a new paragraph to demonstrate that change in an idea.
       When we say, “your readers need a break,” we mean that walls of text are a bit daunting and not pleasurable to look at. If you find yourself having a large wall of text, you can look through to find new or alternating ideas-- showing information that is different from one another also works for new paragraphs, and these can break up a mass of text into something more appealing to the eye and easy to read. Formatting is important, and another thing that is important is text.
       I’m going be blunt: Pinterest lied to you. Tumblr also lied to you. Every verb that is describing the way someone talks or someone moves does not need to be unique. Every verb also does not need an adjective describing it. Writing can get very, My Immortal that way, which, if you don’t know what that is, it's the most iconically bad piece of fanfiction of all time and the Internet Historian has a 3-part series acting out only a chunk of it. However, as the author John Scalzi once said, “to ignore [popularly bad works] is to ignore why they are successful and what we can learn from them.” What we can learn from My Immortal is that extremely specific descriptions of clothing, links to makeup/outfits/hair, and using an adjective and unique verb every time a character moves across the room or speaks is clunky and decreases the quality of a narrative. It’s amateur writing.
       I’m sure you’ve seen the charts. They’re all over Pinterest, and some are on Tumblr: ‘200 words to use instead of ‘says’’ and ‘100 ways to say ‘went’’. These charts are useful to a point. As a writer, you should not pull a new word from those charts every time a character is moving. It makes the writing awkward. It makes it clunky and uncomfortable, and the reader notices it. As readers, we don’t need the tone of something shoved down our throats every ten seconds. If every means of speaking is unique, none of them are.
       In addition, when it comes to speech your characters should have differing voices. You don’t need every line to clue us in to who’s speaking. It can slow down the text. To improve the use of ‘said’ work on developing unique voices, because you’ll find you use them often. It can even work in rooms with many characters. As an example, I’ll show you an Avengers fanfiction, where five of my OCs have been trapped in Loki’s cell. The first example will have every dialogue followed by a unique descriptor for speaking, and an adjective. The second example will have just ‘said’ and a footnote of who is speaking. The third will be as it is written.
**
Example One: descriptor + adjective:
“What, are you the kind mother-figure meant to bring us under your natural authority? Get that first-year psych-student bullshit out of here.” Duncan taunted merrily.
“Please,” Naomi added quietly, coming to rest by Duncan.
“Yes. Please.” Jano murmured low. “B, what was her request anyway?”
“That we stop calling Nicky a pirate. Also probably Nicky.” Bianca surmised aloud. Micah snorted from his position across the room.
“I don’t think that’s gonna happen-” interjected Micah quickly.
“Absolutely not,” exclaimed Naomi.
“Have you all gone mad?” questioned Jano confused, “We call it like we see it.” Bianca held her arms out and smiled.
“It’s not just me.” She simpered with a smirk. “A spade’s a spade lady. I don’t do power moves.”
“Noted,” grunted Romanoff, who left the room.
“Get better material!” Duncan shouted cheerily as she left the room. He looked down to see Barton still there. “Are you the bad cop now?”
**
Example Two: ‘said’:
“What, are you the kind mother-figure meant to bring us under your natural authority? Get that first-year psych-student bullshit out of here,” said Duncan.
“Please,” added Naomi.
“Yes. Please,” said Jano. “B, what was her request anyway?”
“That we stop calling Nicky a pirate. Also probably Nicky,” said Bianca. Micah snorted from his position across the room.
“I don’t think that’s gonna happen-” said Micah
“Absolutely not,” said Naomi.
“Have you all gone mad?” said Jano. “We call it like we see it.” Bianca held her arms out and smiled.
“It’s not just me,” she said with a smirk. “A spade’s a spade lady. I don’t do power moves.”
“Noted,” said Romanoff.
“Get better material!” said Duncan as she left the room. He looked down to see Barton still there. “Are you the bad cop now?”
**
Example Three: stripped back:
“What, are you the kind mother-figure meant to bring us under your natural authority? Get that first-year psych-student bullshit out of here.”
“Please.”
“Yes. Please,” said Jano. “B, what was her request anyway?”
“That we stop calling Nicky a pirate. Also probably Nicky.” Micah snorted from his position across the room.
“I don’t think that’s gonna happen-”
“Absolutely not.”
“Have you all gone mad? We call it like we see it.” Bianca held her arms out and smiled.
“It’s not just me. A spade’s a spade lady. I don’t do power moves.”
“Noted. Romanoff left the room.
“Get better material!” Duncan looked down to see Barton still there. “Are you the bad cop now?”
**
       Do you see the difference? The first one is clunky and doesn’t fit. Some of the verbs and adjectives don’t even make sense together, which is an issue I see on its own. It slows down, and clogs up the pace of the scene and makes it drag instead of pulling it forward. Adjectives can be used to your advantage, but save them when you want to slow things down. Don’t be afraid to use ‘said’ it doesn’t make you basic, it makes your writing easier.
       The second example is better than the first but still awkward. When you compare the second and the third examples you see that not every line of dialogue needs its own note as to who’s speaking. If Jano asks a question, we can assume as readers Bianca is going to answer it. If Micah laughs or snorts across the room, we assume he’s speaking next. From this small snippet, more of each character’s personality can be expanded on and their voice can be distinguished. Naomi speaks in very short one-word sentences. That’s her voice. Bianca is louder. Jano speaks with the Queen’s English. Duncan tries to joke. Something I do when I write characters is give them a couple of cues in their speech unique to them. Maybe Micah starts his sentences with ‘uh’ a lot. Maybe Duncan never shuts up and has longer, run-on sentences. These are things that can distinguish your characters’ voices, and make each one unique. They shouldn’t all sound the same. The third example, also in comparison to the second and first, is much easier to read. It takes less time to get through it, and the dialogue goes down smoothly. You want your writing to go down like that. It should be smooth, and easy to read, and formatted in a way that is easy for the audience.
       Let’s move on to links and descriptions. Clothing is very tricky. I myself, am a former Polyvore hoe. That shit was my jam, and I spent so much time making outfits. Some of them may or may not still be up in my stories. However, we are better than that. I understand a desire to want to describe every inch of clothing, but it makes for a wall of text that is frankly boring to scroll through. It can be done but shortened. For example, if you’re writing a Percy Jackson fanfic, and the character is at Camp Half-blood, I’m going to assume they’re wearing the same summer camp attire that everyone else does: orange t-shirt, shorts, necklace. Give me something that no one else would be wearing. Tell me they’re wearing their bronze bracelet because it has their weapon. Tell me they’ve defaced their t-shirt and sprayed graffiti over the logo. The same is true for Harry Potter. If the character is wearing a uniform, we don’t as readers need to know as much what they have on. We can assume it’s what everyone else is wearing because it's a uniform. You can still show personality through the way they put their hair up. Or their shoes. Look at the novel The Hate U Give. The main character wore a school uniform, and the author then took the time to describe the model and brand of her shoes, because that was both unique to that character and told us something about her personality. A recent Harry Potter fanfic I just read made a point to describe when the character had unique makeup looks, or when she was wearing a stolen sweater, because those pertained to her personality and the relationships around her.
       There are exceptions, of course to clothing. A big one is superhero costumes. However, much like abbreviations in text, you only need to describe it once. So, if I have a superhero and I say she wears… a sleeveless leotard with her logo on the chest, long black pants, and a black domino mask to hide her eyes when she fights crime, for the rest of the story, unless her costume changes from that description, all I have to say is: she put on her uniform. Save yourself some time.
       Now, in regards to links to hair, makeup, and even characters. We all can do better. You are too good of a writer to be linking away what your character’s hair and makeup are. It’s also not hard. Describe the brown smokey eye. Tell me it’s a cut-crease. Say they glued on false eyelashes and put on a red lip. Tell me their eyeliner wing could cut a man. Not everyone is a pro makeup artist, and even if you tell me their makeup isn’t the best, you still can reveal something more about their personality. A girl or boy or nonbinary friend who takes the time to meticulously perfect a cut crease and put on fake eyelashes for the ball is different than the person who pops on a red lip and some mascara and calls it a day. You then make two more hints at personality, rather than just giving your audience a photo. The pictures you use as a reference as authors should be for you and you alone. In your mind, this is what it looks like. As a writer, you have to communicate that image to the reader.
       Links to characters are something I’m guilty of. I checked my Psycho-Pass fanfic before I wrote this section, and yup… they’re still there, and I’m not taking them down anytime soon. That crap’s cringe. Pure cringe. And there’s a good way and a bad way to do it, and the bad way is smack-dab in the middle of the story when you introduce a character. It’s lazy, it takes the reader out of the immersion, and it makes the author look bad. Yes, I am roasting myself. No, I don’t care. This needs to be said. In my Psycho-Pass fanfic, I do it twice: the first is when a sniper is trying to shoot down my OC. The way to rectify that high-intensity situation is to just describe the bare basics. Young woman. Long hair. Giant gun. That’s all the reader needs to know at that moment. The other time I do it, is when a character is going to pick up the OC from the police station. That is a less intense scene, and I as an author can take my time and describe the older man with salt-and-pepper hair who smelled like cigarettes and had a scar that cut through his smile. Notice in both descriptions, I stay away from what each person is wearing. To tie back to before, it doesn’t matter as much. The reader can imagine what a young assassin is wearing when she’s trying to kill a crime lord. The reader can also imagine what that crime lord’s exasperated keeper looks like. I don’t as an author need to spell those things out for you.
       Stock images and reference images of characters are great. They let you as a reader visualize what these characters look like in comparison to everyone else. However, the images and pictures of characters are only for you. You have to be able to communicate the vibe, appearance, and aesthetic of your world. For example, many of my own characters have their own Pinterest pages filled with aesthetic-y images, outfits, and face claims. These images are for no one else but me. They will never be seen by my readers, they will never be checked by the Editor. They are for me and me alone, so that I can check on one board and remember the vibe and personality I am going for with a specific character. These Pinterest boards are reference images, and as such, they are for me and me alone.
       As mentioned, there are acceptable ways to insert images in fanfiction, should you choose to. I don’t believe these are necessary, but if you so desire you can put a little link in the author’s notes or as the footer of your story. Let those lead to the main characters. Next week we will talk more in-depth about face claims and how every fanfiction writer needs to leave Emily Rudd alone and let her live her life. Formatting is the quickest turnoff to a new reader sticking around. Change your paragraphs when necessary, keep your verbs simple, make your voices distinct, and reference images are for your eyes only: use your words.
       If you are interested in additional supplemental instruction, here is the archived My Immortal fanfiction from 2008ish. It is the worst fanfiction ever written and should serve as an example to you all of what not to do. 
https://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/
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podcastlimbo · 5 years
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Posted on AO3 too!
Woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat really worried that something bad would happen to Rilla’s house while she was. u kno. kidnapped. And it’s not like she has an alarm system or anything. So here we are. This is my first go at an actual rad bouquet thing so it’s a little short and clunky please forgive me akdjflksjdlfkja UH ANYWAYS happy lizard kissin’!!
Over the weeks following the battle at Fort Terminus, the three of them had spent most of their time in the Keep, and as such things go, had developed a routine, which started with them taking turns to make breakfast every morning. 
Rilla, Damien and Arum were gathered in kitchen (or at least, the room in the Keep that most resembled a kitchen). The weak early morning sunlight that filled the room illuminated shelves stocked with jars of jam, trays of vegetables and mushrooms, and baskets of fruit. There was a work bench in the middle of the room. Previously filled with clutter from Arum’s experiments, it had been mostly cleared out, save for a few odds and ends, to be replaced with a new sort of mess. Damien’s books and scrolls were piled high, and ink jars, quills and spare nibs had taken over a quarter of the table. Meanwhile, Rilla’s recorder, scientific journals and a lute she was in the process of constructing took up another quarter, as the three would sit together at the table, whiling away their lazy afternoons, working on their own projects in comfortable silence. 
As Rilla and Damien sleepily cleared the table to make way for breakfast, each handling their own treasures gingerly as they moved their mess to a corner of the room, they were shaken out of their morning reverie as Arum turned to face them from the pantry.
“We’re out of milk,” he announced. 
Ignoring the ensuing groans from his two (very petulant) humans, he carried on. “However, I don’t see this as much of a problem. After all, the pantry is still well-stocked with bread, fruit preserves and vegetables, all of which would make a perfectly acceptable breakfast.” “But no milk…” Damien’s voice, still thick from sleep, trembled slightly. 
“No milk means no coffee,” Rilla moaned. 
“Oh please. It’s not like you humans need coffee to survive.” “We do,” the two said in unison. 
“Well then, you’ll just have to drink your coffee without the milk. Now that that’s settled-“ 
“-but on it’s own, coffee is just bitter liquid! The milk adds flavour and body to an otherwise mediocre stimulant! Without it, coffee becomes undrinkable, and without coffee, our meal becomes incomplete,” Damien insisted, now fully awake. 
“So you’re saying… no milk means no coffee. No coffee means no breakfast.” 
“That’s exactly what we’re saying,” Rilla sat herself down at the empty table, pointedly ignoring Arum’s inevitable mutterings of “damn humans” and “inconvenient diets”, instead looking at Damien with pleading eyes. 
“All right then. It seems we have no other choice. Keep, open a portal to Rilla’s hut, and make sure no one else is nearby to see. I suppose we’ll have to do our shopping a little earlier than anticipated this week.” Damien ran hastily back to their bedroom, changing out of his sleepwear, as the Keep sang in acquiescence, the walls shifting to form an entryway back into the human world. 
“Wait! Wait! Damn it all! I’m all out of money!” 
Hearing his shout, Rilla and Arum made their way to where Damien was standing in the hallway, tunic half-buttoned and an empty purse hanging from his outstretched hand. Rilla put a reassuring hand on his arm. “It’s all right, Damien. I’m sure there’s money at my place. We’ll just go check together!” “Make it quick,” Arum grumbled, “or I’m having breakfast without the two of you.” 
As the two ran off, Arum sat himself back down at the breakfast table, idly fiddling with Amaryllis’ recorder. 
It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes that passed this way, before his humans came dashing back through the portal.
“Back so soon? When I said I was going to eat without you, you know I didn’t mean it.” 
“It- it’s not that…” Damien’s eyes are frantic, and Arum could hear his panicked breathing. His frill flared slightly in worry, and he quickly made his way over to where the two were standing. 
“My hut- I got robbed!” Rilla exploded. 
“What?!” Arum snarled, longing for the reassuring weight of his knives he knew he had put away, having had no use for them in weeks. “When did it happen? Which miserable human did it? I swear I’ll tear their limbs off if-“ 
“-calm down, Arum. They only took my money and some of my jewelry. Most of my plants and experiments are intact. I mean.” She scoffed. “It’s not like anyone else is interested in a herbalist’s work, but-” 
“They took her backup recorders, too,” Damien finished. “The Queen had stationed guards to keep watch over her house in the wake of,” he cast an apprehensive look at Arum, who waved an unconcerned hand, “the kidnapping. I suppose during the chaos wreaked by the fear monster, the guards decided that some things weren’t worth protecting.” 
“I guess I should be grateful they didn’t take anything too valuable. Money can be made, jewelry can be bought, but those recorders… they were a secret between Marc and I. We were planning on improving them together and releasing them to citizens eventually but now…” 
Arum sighed. “I understand, Amaryllis. Come here. The both of you.” They stepped into his welcoming embrace and he wrapped his arms around them as they burrowed their faces in his chest. “If only I thought to secure your house before leaving for Ballast…” Damien’s voice was muffled, but both Arum and Rilla could hear it shaking. “I knew that your house had been broken into just hours before, but I was so worried about you that I didn’t think, and then the Queen summoned me on another mission before I could even catch my breath, and oh Saints your home had been broken into and you were kidnapped and I shouldn’t have trusted those guards I didn’t.. I couldn’t-“ 
“Hush now, Honeysuckle. Hush. Breathe.” Arum’s hand made small, reassuring circles around Damien’s back, as he felt the human’s frantic breathing slow. “If anything, the fault is mine. I broke into your home and took you away, Rilla. I should’ve thought that an abandoned hut with a door hanging open was practically an invitation for all manner of thieves and burglars. And now the fate of your creation is uncertain because of my stupidity. I’m… I”m sorry.” “I think you’d know I’m lying if I said I knew things were gonna be okay,” Rilla said grimly. “But I hope It’s nothing some time and luck wouldn’t be able to fix. Who knows? Maybe the person who took it just wanted to sell the shiny thing for parts. Besides.” She looked up at him with a slight grin. “You didn’t know me back then, did you?”
“And if I did, I wouldn’t have heard the end of it from you. Either that, or the Keep would’ve made me return and fix what I had broken.” 
At the Keep’s agreeing hum, the three of them chuckled. As one, they disentangled from the embrace, Damien giving Arum a small peck on the corner of his mouth before letting go of his hand, relishing in the look of confusion on the lizard’s face. He could swear that if Arum were capable of blushing, his green scales would’ve been flushed bright red. 
“What was that for?!” 
“That was a thank you. For helping me remain calm.” “You’re.. It’s.. I did nothing,” he huffed. 
“And Arum.” 
“Yes?” “You don’t need to blame yourself either. We’ve all erred in the past. As long as we recognise our mistakes and make them right.” “Of course I know that, my ever-righteous poet,” he replied, not unkindly. “I do hope that matters will work out…okay, as Amaryllis said.” “But if they don’t?” This question came from Rilla. Downcast, toying with the recorder on the table with her hands. “Then we’ll work it out together.” 
As Damien lent an extra pair of hands to Arum’s two, preparing their breakfast, sans-coffee, and as Rilla hummed in harmony with the Keep while she waited, the three (or four, if sentient plants counted) knew that that would always hold true, no matter how uncertain the future appeared to be. 
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zackryder747-blog · 5 years
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First Blog, Maybe More to Come?
Hey everyone. Yes I know. Right now there is no “everyone”, right now its just me typing/speaking into the internet to just me and my pup (who is currently asleep) and whatever game I am currently playing on my PS4. I don’t know what I will blog about, maybe work, games, life (OK, I don’t really have a life so that last one is a lie, sorry). But all I know is I like to type. So for now, this blog might just be me typing random stuff, or going on rants, or both. Stay tuned and find out! Let’s get started (if I can think of anything to type about)...
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........ Got it! Lemme reveal a few things about myself. Here we go: (don’t worry, nothing too personal, just some things you may not know about me)
Where to begin? How about the fact that I have had a YouTube account for about 4 or 5 years. tried doing YouTube at the start but I bought a cheap capture card off eBay, it recorded a few minutes of decent footage of my GTA Online gameplay on my PS3 (Yes, that’s right, I started YouTube on my PS3, kind of, not really, cause it failed) and then the capture card stopped recording actual audio and decided to record a terrible screeching/scratching noise instead of the game’s audio. So I stopped for a few years. Once I got my PS4, I got a free to play game until I could afford a game. The first game I ever got for the PS4 was MineCraft PS4 Edition. ($5 since I had bought it on PS3, thank you to whomever came up with that genius idea!!) And that’s where my first video came into play (no pun intended). I live streamed it and my first ever viewer was a kid named Eric (sorry to put your name out there my friend but major shout out to you) whom I haven’t heard from in awhile. I hope he’s doing alright. I know he stuck around cause he comments every once in awhile (lol typed “every” like 6 times due to typos haha) so again major shout out to you and everyone else who as stuck around. I don’t recall her name but there is a subscriber of mine who was unfairly blocked by someone I foolishly let be my moderator during streams. To my friend who’s name I can’t remember but made a second account on YouTube just to comment on some vids here and there, I apologize for not remembering your name (I have a terrible memory) and thank you for sticking around. 
     Skip to a few years from my first live-stream and I now have a few more subscribers. And I am very thankful to every single one of them. I may not be making  money off the videos (and I probably never will) but to those who watch my videos and streams, and comment in both the live chat and on the videos, I thank you. Here’s where I am going to get real with you all here (again no one at the time of typing this since I’ve barely advertised this Tumblr, or any Tumblr lol) but for those you who may be reading this in the future. I have gone through depression in the past, It’s been a few years since my last serious case of depression (which lasted 6 years) and I even tried to commit suicide a few times. But at everything else in life I sucked at it and obviously was unsuccessful. Oh and when I say I suck at everything in life, it’s not me having no confidence or any sh*t like that, It’s me being realistic and knowing what I can and can’t do, and what my limitations are. I’m not going to tell you I can do something unless I actually can, otherwise its not having confidence, It’s me lying to you. And I don’t like lying to people. If I think I can do it I will tell you “I think I can do it” or something along those lines. Oh and before we continue, I ain’t telling you this sh*t to get your pity or anything like that. I just want to be honest with everyone here and I figure if you scroll down this far to find this post, and then have read all the way down here you deserve to know the truth.
     Back to the confession time. As I was saying I have gone through depression in the past. It reoccurs from time to time but nothing I can’t deal with. And as stated above I have been doing YouTube for 3-4 years (actively, in a row, day in, day out, working as hard as I could on it) and have only gotten to barely over 300 subs. Which again, I am grateful for every single on you, I really am. But I was (and still am) doing YouTube to not only save my fun moments, but to try and make a career or some kind of money off it. So seeing that I have been working my a** off for 4 years and I didn’t even have 1,000 subscribers, wasn’t a happy thing. I was about to quit YouTube to try and focus my time elsewhere like everyone in my life has been saying. Because something you should know is EVERYONE in my life as been saying I won’t make any money of YouTube and I should just give up, and I wanted to prove them wrong, but they were being proven right. So basically I was about to quit YouTube. And when I say I was about to quit, I mean I was about to go to sleep (it was 11 PM and I had work the next morning, oh and keep in mind this was very recently, like within the last week or 2, for some reason my time keeping is waaay off) and wake up the next day and make a video saying I was quitting, and then I was going to stop uploading things publicly. I was still going to keep the account, but I was only going to use it for saving videos of my and my friends having fun.
     But then, just as I am looking at my subscriber count, and thinking how I had failed, and wondering why I had stuck it out for 4 years with practically no progress, I had only lost money at this point, I was regretting not quitting YouTube years ago when they had told me to. Just as I was about to turn my phone off and go to sleep. I get a notification on my phone from YouTube. And the notification read:
“thanks I love u vids my man and this is you”
And as I always do when I get a comment, I go to see what the full comment says and what video it was posted under. I’m not going to lie. I didn’t smile, at all, until I read the rest of the amazing message that is now the background on my phone (lock screen is my pup). The full message read:
“thanks I love u vids my man and this is you
(crown emoji)
(cool face emoji)
(white t-shirt emoji)
(blue pants emoji)
(yellow shoes emoji) (brown dog emoji)”
This message made my month! I look at it every single day! Every time I feel like quitting YouTube and every time I wonder why I do YouTube, I look at this comment which reminds me that I don’t do this for my ego, I do this to provide entertainment to other people around the world. And every time I look at this comment I’m always thinking “Wow, this person is truelly a fan, not because they added a crown, but not only did they take the time to find the emojis and create the person, but they added the dog emoji which means they are true fans because only true fans who have been watching for awhile know how important Waffle (my puppy) is to me. And the fact that they had the thought to add a dog emoji to represent Waffle is mind blowing”
So major shout out to you my friend. I’m not going to put your name out there because I don’t know if you want me to but thank you for the amazing comment, I seriously look at it every single day and yeah, it gives my ego a boost to think that I have a fan that goes to that trouble to make an emoji person with a dog, but also, it helps me get through depression bubbles. It  gives me motivation to keep going and try and make better content and more content. So to you my friend. I thank you. I can not thank you enough. I don’t see you comment often so I first thought you were a new sub, but after the dog emoji I know you’ve been around for awhile. Thank you. Sorry for rambling.
Have a great weekend/week
- zackryder747
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tinamaetales · 6 years
Text
2017 K Drama Journey
It was that one night, while scrolling through my facebook feed that I came across this short clip from Doctors wherein Park Shin Hye is beating up the gangsters in the ER. I got curious so I decided to find a copy of it and try watching a K Drama. I thought, why not give it a try? It was during those times that I was recovering from my PUD and I just resigned from my job and I really want to watch a good tv series and K Dramas are really popular nowadays so I decided to give it a try and, I wasn’t disappointed. K Dramas, as cliché as it may sound, changed my life. Every show I’ve watched was a roller coaster ride of emotions. In addition, they taught me lessons I never expected in the first place.
I would just like to share with you a “summarized” version of my views about the kdramas I’ve watched in 2017 (cause ya know, I’ve already posted my individual reflections about them here)
Doctor Stranger
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My rating: 7/10
Starring: Lee Jong Suk, Park Hae Jin, Kang So Ra and Jin Se Yeon
This is an interesting drama to watch because it doesn’t only focuses on the romance aspect but also divulge into the topic of politics and medicine. The best part? The competition between Park Hoon and Han Jae Joon for it served as an avenue for their growth both as doctors and as a person. However, I felt like the romance part in here is a bit forced; I’m sorry but the main couple has zero chemistry.
My fave quote: “…the doctor’s gown you wear? That’s sufficient enough for people to put their lives in your hands. Let’s not disappoint them”
My fave OSTs:
Like Tomorrow Won’t Come by G/O
A Good Day Like This by Jeon Hye Won
More of my reflection:
https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/158622149566/strangers
https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/159863753466/who-is-the-real-stranger
Goblin
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 My rating: 10/10
Starring: Gong Yoo, Kim Go Eun, Lee Dong Wook, Yoo In Na and Yook SuengJae
The best K drama ever. It’s perfect. That’s all. This K drama will make you value life more and will show you that death isn’t something we should be afraid of – it’s a part of our journey on Earth, an end to a life once lived and it will only be regrettable if you didn’t live your life right. Anyway, this is a story about a Goblin who lives for more than 900 years and is searching for the Goblin’s Bride that will pull out the sword from his chest to end his immortality is surely something that would catch your attention. Let’s also add that he has an amnesiac Grim Reaper for a best friend (lol) and a spoiled brat ‘nephew’ who is so in love with his credit card. What will make you get hooked in this drama? It’s how every character are related to each other both in beautiful and painful ways; yes, even that gorgeous chicken store owner has a very important role. The part that broke my heart in this drama is the realization that the key to ending the Goblin’s immortality has become his reason to stay alive. It’s ironic how someone who has the ability to end you is also the only reason for you to keep going. Ang sakit bes.  It was a perfect mix of romance, comedy and drama.
My fave quotes:
“Every life is touched by a deity at least once. Just when you’re drifting away from the world, if someone nudges you back in the right direction, that’d be when the deity chooses to visit you”
“If god really only gives one as many struggles as one can handle, he may have thought too highly of me”
“The ones left behind should live even harder. We might cry from time to time but we should smile a lot and cheer up. You are obligated to do that in return for the love you received”
“Every human dies at some point, that’s why life is even more beautiful………If today is my last day, this will be my final memory of the person I love so I’d better live hard and love”
“How could you tell me to remember only the happy memories but to forget you? That makes no sense because every moment I spent with you was a happy one even though each and every moment was also sad and difficult. So, did my dying to protect you become your happy ending?”
“I will come as the rainfall. I will come as the first snowfall. I will beg the divinity to do just that”
“Every moment I spent with you shined. Because the weather was good. Because the weather was bad. Because the weather was good enough”
My fave OSTs: (all of them actually, lol)
Beautiful by Crush
Stay With Me by Punch ft. Chanyeol (EXO)
I will go to you like the first snow by Ailee
Hush by Lassie Lindh
I miss you by Soyou
And I’m Here by Kim Kyung Hee
You are so beautiful by Eddy Kim
Heaven by Roy Kim
Round and Round by Heize
More of my reflection:
https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/160115970831/souls
https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/161922642721/i-dont-wanna-live-forever-goblin-post-part-2
https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/175471572666/hes-always-listening-goblin-post-part-3 
W
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 My rating: 8.5/10
Starring: Lee Jong Suk and Han Hyo Joo
One of the most interesting plots in the K drama land; it is a story about the lead character of a famous comic book series who developed “free will” that scared his creator so much to the point that he wanted to kill off his main character. Kang Chul’s (the comic book’s main character) creator is afraid of how he seem to be directing his own story so his solution is to kill him however due to an amazing twist of fate, the creator’s daughter (which happens to be a doctor) gets sucked inside the comic book world every time that Kang Chul is in danger in order for her to save him. This k drama knows no chill by the way, it will keep you on the edge of your seat every episode. It’s intense and sometimes stressful to watch but you will love every moment of it anyway.
My fave quotes:
“But in last moment, he suddenly thought of one word: ‘Come-from-behind-victory’. Kang Chul decided to keep fighting until he found the true culprit – he wouldn’t be able to take back his own life. So he will find the culprit before he dies, no matter what.”
“The first purpose of the characters are to deliver the story. When the purpose is gone, the character disappears forever. On the contrary, when a character’s purpose becomes clear… then the character becomes one of the main characters by force”
 My fave OST:
Where are u by Jung Joon-young
Please say something, even though it is a lie by Park Bo Ram
More of my reflection: 
 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/164668803281/hero
 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/174726704651/kang-chuls-fight-is-my-fight-w-blog-post-part
Love in the moonlight
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My rating: 9/10
Starring: Park Bo Gum, Kim Yoo Jung, Kwak Dong Yeon, Chae Soo Bin and Jinyoung (B1A4)
My first historical drama. It’s charming especially when you have Park Bo Gum as the Crown Prince and Kim Yoo Jung as the female lead, what more can you ask for? The romance side of this feels natural and would make you feel kilig everytime! You will love it to the moon and back. Moreover, the social issues it presented were still timely and relevant. It will make you realize that no matter how many years have passed and how different the government system has changed through the years, if those in position are motivated by their love of power instead of service to people then things would definitely won’t turn out well. This drama shows us that it is when the government listen to its people that it can be effective. The officials should not create higher gates and longer barriers between them and its people but instead open its doors and close the distance after all, without its people the government is nothing.
My fave quotes:
“I wish you would be a king with good eyes because if you’re too high up, you tend not to see people below you. I wish you have good ears – you must not listen only to those who yell before you… Please protect every single person for they’re all your people. Will you promise me to become a King like that?” 
“Rather than a sun that shines alone, he’s a ruler who shines brightly when among his people, like the moonlight—I believe the king is that kind of person.”
 “The highs and lows between me and my people, the distance between me and you—I hope that you will understand my wish to be one step closer.”
My fave OSTs:
Moonlight Drawn by Clouds by Gummy
Melting Heart by K. Will
My Person by Park Bo Gum
I think I’m done sleeping by Soyou ft. Yoo Seungwoo
More of my reflection:
 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/165394639616/the-rebel-prince
Legend of the blue sea
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 My rating: 7/10
One of the most hyped K drama of 2016 and even though it fell short on its promising story line, I still get to enjoy watching this. It’s interesting to watch a love story between a mermaid and a human especially when it also included the theme of reincarnation. This drama also shows us the value of second chances – it is an opportunity for us to change the course of our fate but it will be our choice…it’s up to us if we want to be better.
Starring: Lee Min Ho, Jun Ji Hyun, Shin Won Ho, Lee Hee Joon and Shin Hye Sun
My fave quotes:
“If someone is reborn, might it be because they have an unrealized dream? That dream could be an unfulfilled love, or it could even be unsatisfied greed.”
“The fact that everything is repeating isn’t a curse, but an opportunity—to change the ending.”
“But when I make friends with someone, that’s it for me. Whether you backstab or not, that’s your choice. I’ll think about what I’ll do if you do backstab me. Until then, you’re my friend.”
“Rather than being unable to love my daughter because I can’t remember her, it’s better to live remembering her, even if it’s painful.”
My fave OSTs:
Love Story by Lyn
A World that is You by Yoon Mirae
More of my reflection:
 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168356428401/when-history-repeats-itself
 Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo
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My rating: 8.5/10
If I could only describe this K Drama in one word, it would be charming. The plot is light yet relatable. Easy to watch yet filled with great life lessons too. It will actually remind us of our younger years – the silly crushes, the dreamers in us and the unforgettable friendships we gained. What I like the most about it is the simplicity of its plot yet it will touch your heart.
Starring: Lee Sung Kyung and Nam Joo Hyuk
My fave quotes:
“No matter how high the mountain is, it will not be as grand as your dreams. This is nothing hard! We get back up no matter how harshly we’re trampled upon”
“I hope you will confront that matters (resentment towards your mother and your complicated emotions towards your uncle’s family) squarely. Those emotions such as gratitude, guilt or tiredness from pretending you don’t know the truth.. should burst out at least once. Only then you will be completely free from the trauma you are having” 
“Everyone has a youth. A time that’s more beautiful because it’s awkward and clumsy, a time that shines brilliantly. A time when you’re not afraid of anything because you have nothing to lose, and a time when you’re excited because you can have anything, everything. That’s now, age 24, my youth. Although I’m still uneasy and nervous, I’m perfect without needing anything else.”
My fave OSTs:
You and I by Kim Jong Wan
Dreaming by Han Hee
More of my reflection:
 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168888275251/swag
Cheese in the trap
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My rating: 6/10
If you’re looking for a realistic yet harsh approach towards depicting our society in general, then this k drama is a must watch for you. It shows how the real world sucks. It has its charming side too though, especially the love triangle between Yoo Jung, Hong Seol and Baek In Ho and it will sometimes make you feel that both guys are deserving…actually erase that…all of them are deserving of love especially after all the struggles and challenges they’ve went through at such a young age. This drama started out strong but the ending felt a bit empty.  
Starring: Park Hae Jin, Kim Go Eun, Lee Sung Kyung, Seo Kang Joon and Nam Joo Hyuk
My fave quotes:
“Once you start working, you’ll realize you’re no longer the center of the universe, you realize there’re many people who are better & scarier than you and you need to accept that you cannot control everything.”
“People who play victim will always end up like that, losing what they have as they attempt to gain what isn’t theirs” 
“Why is it that people always want what belongs to other people? Then they delude themselves thinking other people’s things are theirs when in the end they lose what’s their own.”
“There are ups and downs in relationship but maintaining longevity is hard”
“No matter how rock bottom you are, you shouldn’t bring harm to people who care about you”
“Don’t put up walls and look down on people because among those people, there are some who sincerely wanted to be friends with you”
 My fave OSTs:
My Time with you by Vanilla Acoustic
Einfuhlung by Tearliner
Just a little by Sweden Laundry
Maybe I like you by Cosmos Hippie
More of my reflection:
 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168925207681/trapped
Descendants of the Sun
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My rating: 9.5/10
One of the best k dramas ever! I swear! It tells a great story of love, service and sacrifice. It is a great combination of romance, action, thrill, and philosophy.  The best thing about this is how it executed the differing principles of the way doctors and soldiers save lives. It shows us how we can find ourselves through the service of others.  
Starring: Song Joong Ki, Song Hye Kyo, and Kim Ji Won
My fave quotes:
“Soldiers always live with a shroud on. When they die in a nameless land for the sake of their country, the place of their death become their grave and their uniform become their shroud. This should be every soldier’s mindset every time they put down their uniform. Therefore, be honorable at every moment – there’s no reason to fall short” 
“I’ve been given the privilege to be a doctor, I faithfully pledge my life to serve humanity. The health and life of my patient will always be my priority. I will faithfully carry out my duties regardless of the patient’s race, religion or nationality. I will not use my knowledge inhumanely even when I’m under threat. I hereby take this oath on my account and on behalf of my honour”
 My fave OSTs:
Everytime by Chen of EXO ft. Punch
Always by Yoon Mirae
You are my Everything by Gummy
More of my reflection:
 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/169657649021/sacrifices
Hwarang
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My rating: 7.5/10
I once described this drama as oppa overload because it was really filled with handsome oppa! Anyway, this is a great drama to show how the youth, despite them being young, can become the nation’s future. It is when we guide the young people rightly that we can secure a good future. It also shows us how much we needed to be united for our country’s sake because we can do so much better if we work with each other instead of against each other. This is a story of growth and brotherhood. A must watch, for sure.
Starring: Go Ara, Park Seo Joon, Park Hyung Sik, Choi Min Ho (SHINee), Do Ji Han, Kim Tae Hyung (BTS),  and Jo Yoon Woo
My fave quotes:
“It’s only those who possess a lot who fear. If you don’t have anything, you don’t fear anything.”
“Only when they (Hwarang) were able to think and live freely that they can dream of a future for Silla”
“Don’t be silenced by an order created by another. You are not a horse on a chess board. You are Hwarang who are freer than anyone else in this world. The fact that you are Hwarang, never forget that”
“Being young and weak is not a sin.”
My fave OSTs:
Even if I die by V and Jin from BTS
Our Tears by Park Seo Joon
I’ll be here by Park Hyung Sik
More of my reflection:
https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/170972988531/change-starts-with-us
Doctors
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My rating: 8.5/10
Starring: Park Shin Hye, Kim Rae Won, Lee Sung Kyung and Yoon Kyun Sang
This K drama will always have a special place in my heart because of how much I love and can relate with its heroine. The focus of this is the life of a great neurosurgeon Dr. Yoo Hye Jung – her ups and downs and how she manage to come out of all the challenges thrown at her stronger than ever. Her life story is really inspirational.
My fave quotes:
“The cells that make up a human are always in a state of instability. To live is to be unstable. In the end, the essence of life is change.”
“Unresolved pasts will always come back to find you whether it’s love or resentment”
“People say that forgiveness is not for others but for yourself. They shouldn’t say such things. Forgiveness isn’t as light as it sounds.”
“When doctors become guardians, they too are merely impotent humans.”
“A genuine meeting can change a person. The person I am with right now could change my life. That’s why a person can be both hope and despair”
 “I had once dreamt of revenge — killing everyone and myself. But there is such a thing as karmic justice, and at the center of that is not me, but the world.”
My fave OSTs:
No Way by Park Yongin  and Kwon Soonil of Urban Zakapa
It’s Love by Jung Yup
Sunflower by Younha
That’s the way it is by Se O
More of my reflection:
 https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/173628552981/what-doesnt-kill-you-makes-you-stronger
It was one heck of a roller coaster ride, right? I think it’s safe to say that my 2017 k drama journey was lit af! Now I’m looking forward for more!
 X,
TinaMae
35 notes · View notes
briteboy · 7 years
Photo
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(circumstantial name by @earnoodle)
IT’S FINALLY TIME FOR THE POST YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (or maybe just that one anon)
there’s a LOT in here, newer questions are generally first so if you asked something a while ago and you’re only interested in that, scroll towards the bottom. also doing wcifs separately (errr i’m gonna try my hardest to ok don’t crucify me)
this mass anons post includes topics ranging from Very Sweet Things Said To Me That I Don’t Deserve, nitpicking stranger things, crying over ramona, lou theories, Cillian Is A Fucking Creep theories (true), and completely unhelpful reshade advice
let’s f0cking do this
You're right, apart from carrying his stupid brain, Santi's head didn't do anything to any of us. I apologize for anon.
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I'm pretty sure I said that already but I love Rooney and Santi's relationship so much I literally have no words for it
ME TOO LIKE IT’S JUST SO PURE TWO NOT-KIDS SCARED OF THE ADULT WORLD TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT WITH THEIR WEIRD BRAINS TOGETHER ;__; i love them
YO i didnt know u were a demigirl!! im a demiboy nb Buddies
hell fuckin yeah dude!! we are starting a demi club
Ok but like I really want werewolves. Like I know it sounds stupid but we have vampire and while yes I love my bat babes, I want a giant pupper friend. I have story written out and plans for a cabin to build. Now I’m waiting for EA to give me my big hairy babes.
DUDE i want more supernatural stuff too, mostly witches like I NEED MY WITCHES AGAIN!!! ts3 witches were so good. i didn’t like ts3 werewolves much but i feel like they’d be super cool in ts4, knowing how the vampires came out. i NEED it
hihi! i've been very quietly (??) following your blog for some time now and i just fawn over your characters way too much ?? anywho, i've been wanting to start my own little simblr story but ,, i'm not entirely sure where to even start? i have so many stories that i'd love to get out there, and i have the means.. butt, how did you go about starting out?? so sorry this is so long but i look up to you a whole ton!!! ty ily! :-)
i’m the (??) lmao that’s me always but ahdhghdfkshg thank you so much!!!!! i’m so glad you love them, it means the world to me ;-; and listen, that was me, i had no idea how i was going to do it because i’d only seen ts3 stories up to that point and i thought there was like a set Way to tell stories but i had no idea what i was doing so i was like y’know what...i’m just gonna do it how i feel comfortable doing it and i’m gonna figure it out as i go along. so honestly try to roughly plan out what your stor(ies) will entail and if you get stuck on planning and can’t figure it out, just jump right into it, try to make a few scenes or get the ball rolling somehow, even if it’s just random posts (i mean that’s all my blog was until i decided to commit to santi’s story.) it’s always gonna feel weird and awkward at first, but you’ll get comfortable the more you do it and it’ll figure itself out, trust me!
I read through most of your story posts the other day and now I’m rereading it again just to torture myself some more (and maybe catch up on some posts I may have missed). I honestly don’t think I’ve come across a sims story that’s so beautifully written & includes such evocative pictures as yours. I’m really at a loss for words, it’s all so stunning. & after a nearly two-month long creative block, it’s planted the smallest seed of inspiration in the back of my mind, so thank you for your art.
AHHHH AHSDHKGKDSJG WHAT!!!!! it’s always crazy hearing that 1) people actually care about my stuff, and 2) that it inspires them. like i really cannot believe that, stilL!! thank you so so much, i’m so happy you enjoyed it (as torturous as it was, lmao) it seriously warms my heart that you’re getting your groove back in the creative world, that means more to me than ANYTHING!! good luck with your art or whatever you decide to do with that inspiration!
 can i pls have your editing skill please and thank you
i owe most my editing at this point to reshade so honestly get reshade and u will probably become better than me
o added u on animal crossing and when you added me back i was so happy,, your little person is sooo adorable ((:
OMG!! thank you!! everyone’s person on there is adorable i cry i love them all so much i’m so mad tho it won’t let me add any more friends!!! it probably cuts off at like 100 friends or something STUPID
First of all, I love you. Secondly, I love your photos so much. I'm legit about to just ditch sims 3 for 4 now because of your amazing posts. 😖
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LMFAO no but really THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!!! if you can manage playing both i admire u, i’ve invested too much time and effort into ts4 to ever fully go back to any other sims games tbh
The new patch made my game unplayable! I'm crying, I miss my doggos...
NOOOOO!!! hopefully by now you’ve found a fix, i’m prayin for u
long time listener, first time caller yoooo. i like everyone love your stories and your sim aesthetic so so so much and just tbh i was offended on your behalf about that ask from that person wanting to novelize your stories. like you were way too nice. this is your intellectual property and it's fucked up that someone would think it'd be okay to duplicate it as long as they used a different medium. this is prob a bad one to repost just wanted to you to know you're an awesome, singular voice
omfg lmao this is a radio show now *z100 voice* tellem why ya mad euhhh first of all i can’t believe someone even ASKED that, i’m in shock because like what this is so foreign to me. people want to write about MY characters WHAT! like that alone...takes a long time to process. and like i know i should say no but then i feel mean but they’re also my creations so like idk. it warms my heart that you feel so strongly and would stand up for me like that i’m cryin thank u for calling in i love u
I JUST FINISHED YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND I'M NOT OK WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH THAT SHIT IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE ABUSED MY (NON EXISTENT) INNOCENCE WOW
I’M SO SORRY U HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR STEALING YOUR INNOCENCE I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN OSDAFKJDSK BUT THANK YOU FOR READING I’M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT EVEN IF IT HURT YOU!!!
I've been up all night and it's now 11am. I'm completely binging on your stories bc I am in LOVE and need a Molly in my game asap. Do you think you'll ever upload her?
omG my freaking story inciting insomnia i’m so sorry for ur sleep schedule first of all, but at least that makes you identify with santi even more omg tho ;___; (how many times will i say ‘omg’ i wonder) i don’t think so because she is so dear to me and makes my heart ache, she is just so special, i dunno if i could ever release her into the wild like that lmao. i haven’t even shared her with my friends (not that i really ever had a reason to) but like yeah. maybe in the future that’ll change but right now, no, i’m sorry <3
To change the topic: Idk if you watch stranger things but I only managed to get to episode 3 of season 2 before I stopped watching lmao it was so bad and Billy (a certified Cunt) ruined the whole show for me
YEAH I DID! omg. i have a LOT of issues with this season (mostly in how badly they tried to retcon nancy and everyone else not caring about barb’s death, how bad the writing was in the realm of nancy and steve breaking up and then her and jonathan getting together...holy fuck it was so uncomfortable with that 40 yr old conspiracy theorist guy i couldn’t even enjoy my ship getting together lmao) also ur right, max and billy honestly did not offer anything to the story...like i loved max too but what was the point...billy acted like their presence and the reason they had to move was so dramatic when it was really nothing...unless they’re saving that for season 3 but like. the whole situation with billy was so anticlimactic. he was like a walmart version of henry from IT. like boohoo ur dad’s an asshole and then he beat up steve. good character arc. i liked max standing up for herself but really...that whole thing was so lackluster, i didn’t care about it at all. ALSO I HATED THAT THEY DIDN’T LET MAX AND ELEVEN BE FRIENDS!! i’m sure it’ll happen in season 3 but like c’mon...that would’ve made the max character feel a little more important to the story. anyway yeah fuck billy and i don’t get why everyone is lusting after him or his actor they’re both ugly! thanks for listening
I just got the sims 4 + city living and I’m so excited! I was really inspired by your stories and style in general... I was wondering what packs do you have and also what are your favourite sims 4 hairs? I’m having trouble finding ones and I love your style!
YAY I’M EXCITED FOR YOU!!! omg aww it warms my heart so much when people say i inspire them because i never anticipated that kind of response, thank you so much <3 hmmm i think i have all of them except glamour stuff and fitness stuff. and pretty much all the hairs i download are here or here. (or the subsequent ‘tf’, ‘cf’, ‘tm’ and ‘cm’ tags as well, according to age)
UHM a 19 year old and a 13 year old? Poor baby Lou... Also youre a brilliant writer i cant
😬😬😬  stay tuned ajasdhjhjsahd thank you so much!!!
My stan levels for you have increased so much? like thanks for being a good ally, clAps for femmesim!
lmao thank you, i don’t really deserve praise tho i’m just passing on the knowledge of those patient enough to teach me. just trying to do what i can with my privilege u know. ily
How do you have teeth showing in so many of your pictures of Lou and Molly, do you PS them in?
i’ve gotten this question before and it’s usually just the poses used! i do have some lipsticks that have teeth on them but i mostly use them for just rooney.
Honestly, a fight between Santi and that new guy (srry, forgot his name while typing this) would be so hot. Like, I hope Santi would win but like just watching Santi fight him for Lou would make me happy!! Also, I live for your stories💞
omG i’m about to call up vince mcmahon they both need to fight on smackdown it’s gonna happen. they’ll both be shirtless too ok and THANK YOU ILY
boi poc can be PREJUDICED against white people but there is no such thing as reverse racIIIIIIiiiiIIIIIiiiIIIIsm
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Lemme just say that you must be feeling so stressed rn. I love you and your simblr!!! Your posts light up my day!! <3333
OMg kind of. this week has taken A Lot out of me and i really just want to chill at home and play my freaking GAME but obligations. u know. here’s hoping i get a day off this week. i’m mad i’m probably gonna miss gianni’s birthday too (it’s on tuesday) and i wanted to do something for it!! i’ll probably do it late like i did last year too lmao i’m so sorry baby g ANYWAY u didn’t ask to hear about any of this...thank you for this sweet message i love you <3
why,,,, are people... coming to your blog to discuss race you are a fucking simblr WHAT
the real question is why do people go to you like its your job to educate them lmao like theres so many resources out there
SHAWDY u aint wrong reverse racism is literally a joke i am so sorry you have to go through all of this keep stepping on white feelings we deserve it
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I was wondering would u consider Asians to be POC?
yes
I just finished Strange the Dreamer and it was fucking amazing. I cried so much and I laughed and I sat in absolute amazement at the world Laini Taylor has created. 100/10 would recommend
ahhhh i really need to read it apparently!! i’m like 10% away from being done with a dance with dragons (and then i have to wait for the next book like a peasant HURRY UP KING GEORGE) anyway this one is definitely on my list!
omgomg!! I just met this girl in my class who has eyes just like ramona's!!! But like instead of being brown w/ a little bit of blue, they were blue w/ a little bit of brown!!! Dude I was so shook I rlly didn't think ppl had eyes like that!
OMG!!!! that’s amazing! and yes heterochromia is a real thing haha. i’ve only met one person with it and he had the same color combo as ramona too, only his was full heterochromia, not sectoral.
*me in the background screaming* nO yOU LEAVE HER ALoNE baD-DAD-MaN!
ME TF TOO
every time i read some of your stories i get an ache in my heart that doesn't go away until i either cry or sleep so interpret that as you like
OMG ;_____; ok me too tho my heart literally hurts thinking about my characters sometimes...mostly santi...i hate him (no i don’t :{ )
hey uhh idk if you've answered something like this before but do you have a spotify or something bc your music taste is GOLD
THANK YOU!! you were the first person to ask about this haha and hopefully you saw my answer to the other question about it! i just made one and it’s here!
hi hi ! i’m seeing all the drama on da blog and i really want to read the whole story but i can’t get to it on mobile so i was wondering if you could link the beginning and tell me what the best order to read it in is ( i’m so confused because i’ve seen sm people y’all about a parallel story so idk if i’m being dumb !! ) i hope this isn’t any inconvenience also your sims are so beautiful sjajsjajs
hey on mobile the link is just: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono i would honestly just recommend that order haha, it makes things simpler and it encompasses ALL story posts, or posts that give context. there are parallels in my story, lou’s is kind of a parallel of santi’s, only different...well...you’ll see. but yeah sorry this is so late! and thank you!!!
TU HISTORIA ES TAAAAAN BUENA POR DIOOOOS (YOURE STORY IS SOOOOO GOOD OMG) <3 <3 *OO* *cries in spanish*
MUCHAS GRACIAS ENCANTADORA PERSONAAAA <333
lou is wendy right? i mean, a wendy complex is someone who is overly mothering to partners, and lou is already a mother and ik that doesn't really count as foreshadowing but it seems like it could be a link to me. it'd make sense too, considering guys that go after younger girls (ew) are usually immature ie peter pan complex. it'd make the most sense that those two go together then.
heheheheh that is a VERY good observation...that’s all i’m gonna say!!
This has nothing to do with what's happening in the story rn, but whatever. I was wondering if you were going to mention lou's struggles with being a single mom and the stigma surrounding single motherhood? As a single mother myself I'd really enjoy seeing you take on the issue. Personally, my biggest problem was overcoming the generalizations people put on you when you're a single mom. People always assumed that I that I was stupid and uneducated because I had my son when I was 17.
yes! that will definitely come up. i will focus a lot on her struggles as a single mom. so far i’ve mostly just peppered in some stuff about money troubles, and that will come up again, and the issues you mention will be pretty central to her character as well. i’m sorry you have to endure that, it’s not fair. people don’t even realize how strong and dedicated single mothers are.
when you say Peter Pan, do you mean the Disney stuff or the og creepy stuff?
i mean the general themes of the story and how that translates into a peter pan complex: boy who never grows up, feels like he fits in more with younger people (haha...yikes), read the message above because that anon described the other half of the equation better than i could
Wait, hold up. That dude is cute but I feel like he’s coming onto Lou way too strong. I have a bad feeling.. Lou is like 13 there and he is 19 I mean I’ve seen bigger gaps between people, but she is not legal yet.. Where are you going with this? 🤨😅
yyyyyyep that feeling is warranted! i am going a way i don’t think you guys expect me to go...i think you’ll be very confused at the end of this part lmao. that being said, i’m not putting any of this in for shock value or to romanticize inappropriate relationships like this. (i’m probably going to be repeating that a LOT for this story but please just keep that in mind)
Hey mom wanna hear a fun as hell story? I just got back from the ER bc I fell on my razor after showering, and practically cut my nipple in half. (I am in so much pain hELP)
OMFG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR POOR NIPPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO SORRY I HOPE IT FEELS BETTER PLEASE UPDATE ME ON THE NIPPLE STATUS
U gotta watch sense8!!! Apart from the v awkward sex scenes it's v good, has a lot of representation and shit Just watch that shit show, u won't regret it (And if you do I cut your throat oops)
i’ve heard it’s good! i remember when it first came out and everyone was like Wow The Representation so honestly anything with diversity has already got me hooked pls don’t murder me.
I'm calling it now. He's Fi's dad. and he's a FUCKING CREEP!! Bitch you are 19!! LOU IS 13!! BACK THE FUCK OFF YOU PERV!!
no spoilers or anything but honestly i’m with you @ cillian die
Are they gonna fucc, o no
right now? no. that would be Very Bad
bABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE
oh same
Hi ! Your lastest edit (graveyard girl) is truly amazing, how did you make that bokeh behind her ? 😱😍
thank you so much!!! it’s reshade (with matso DOF)!
You've probably got this question a lot of times but i can't find the answer for it. What reshade do you use?
i gotta add this to my faq, it’s one i created myself but i started out with this one (it totally doesn’t resemble that one anymore but i think it’s a good starting point)
how do you make good looking male sims? mine always look the same and kinda girly..
hmmm longer faces, prominent chins and jaws, smaller eyes, bigger noses...generally yeah
What do you mean 9 + alt?
you gotta turn bb.moveobjects on and then press alt + 9 when an object is selected to move it upward. so what i did with those poses i made was, i selected a teleporter and pressed alt + 9 until it was at a spot i liked on the roof. that’s why releasing those poses would be tricky, ‘cause every build is different so there’s no set way to place them, you just kinda have to play around with them
You mentioned GoT so naturally, I have to chime in and express my love for Jon. Honestly, he won me over ever since the first season? I'm at season 5 now and people have already warned me so now i'm silently weeping, waiting for something to happen to my precious bby help
JONNY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! i loved his emo ass since the beginning but his arc with qorin halfhand (was he in the show??) was probably the best arc in book 2 and then his book 3 arc was just...SO GOOD, SO MUCH happens to him and i just felt like i was watching my son go through it all...i love that boy so much ;-; i’m almost at the end of the last book and i’m scared for him because of the one spoiler i know lmao and you’re at that point too so GET READY we’ll go through it together ok
So there's this game I'm playing where someone talking about another character says 'maybe you can break him from his ouroboros of self-fladulation' (I know I probably butchered those spellings but I'm not a bright egg and autocorrect isn't helping rip) and tbh it made me think of Santi. (Also I'mma scream of you get this reference jsyk)
OMG THE FACT THAT YOU THOUGHT OF HIM ;-; and it’s okay u are the brightest egg in the bunch to me. I’M SORRY I DON’T GET THIS REFERENCE BECAUSE I’M NOT A VIDEO GAME PERSON BUT I’LL PRETEND I DO KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT anyway yes santi is currently in the process of breaking his self-flagellation and embracing the oneness of the ouroboros (as opposed to letting the cycle repeat itself until he’s worn down to nothing)
do you have any favorite pose creators?
answered
do you have any tips for taking good screenshots in game? like how to get the good angles and good quality? i play on ultra but i think when i zoom in and then use the arrows on my keyboard to move around, the pictures gets less clear and looks kinda blurry. how should i do this?
well if you’re already using ultra, there’s not much you can do lmao. sims 4 is just bad with textures in general. it also depends on the objects as well, some are better quality than others. if i zoom in far on a sim’s face, i generally know there will be some pixelation and i can clean that up in photoshop with topaz clean and the smudge tool. i am very reliant on photoshop sometimes lmao. it sounds like you already have the basics of taking good screenshots, it’s just sometimes you have to fight and work with sims 4′s less-than-hd quality.
burn it down by daughter reminds me of santi & i'm in pain
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ouroboros!!! death! birth! death again! birth again rinse repeat! also santi breaking the cycle because third time's the charm
The tattoo is an Ouroboros. It originated in Egyptian iconography, and it symbolizes recreation. My boy's recreating himself, I'm so proud.
ouroboros, the dragon eating its own tail. it's a sign of eternal renewal
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i saw the post of child molly and just started BAWLING i miss her what the fuck she's my fave character i'M CRYING
ME TOO BICH!! ME FUCKIN TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just read all of A Serious Case Of The Novembers so far and theres still tears on my face. some of the best stuff ive read in a while, great job on everything
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ALSO I’M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY
every time you write about molly and her in heaven it makes my heart swell, like the characters were answering asks and someone asked her what heaven was like and even though it was so small short lil answer it still pulls at the heart strings, basically what im trying to say is that your writing is so good! <3
omg ;_______; me too, i feel like she has such a simple way with words and although her descriptions of heaven are brief, they are also complex and beautiful, and even just writing it chokes me up ;-; thank you so much tho i’m so glad you like it!!
Molly: out Molly tatto: also out
why did this remind me of this post:
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How did you edit in the fire in the last post? Looks cool
i searched things like “bonfire” and pasted parts of it that i wanted on the pic to make it look more realistic, then put a layer mask on the pasted pic and erased the edges and stuff to make it blend in better. the sparks and stuff i added by pasting it onto a new layer and changing the blending mode to screen! 
idk if you have every watched grey anatomy but Lou's backstory is starting to remind me of Jo (Jo is a character from the show) like Jo was in a abusive relationship and she is married to the guy but she cant get divorced or he will come and find her. So like if Lou didn't tell Fiona's dad he was a dad and Lou was married to him and cant escape the marriage (cause abuse), plus it would explain Lou's kink with being choked ;) full circle *god-like heaven music with tiniest violin is playing now*
ooh no i don’t but that’s interesting and i’m excited you even made a connection like that! i will say that it’s not lou who likes to be choked (the very opposite actually lmao) but otherwise the situation does kinda fit. i’m the violin
I have a freakin bio pre ap test tomorrow on photosynthesis and i have no idea what it is im going to fail save me
I’M ANSWERING THIS VERY LATE BUT I HOPE YOUR TEST WENT WELL!!!!!! *spongebob voice* photosynthesis
last time I installed reshade I couldn't get it to open the controls or shaders or anything in game :///// any tips?? I love they way reshade looks too!!
hmmmmm well i know the control panel opens when you press shift + f2, and then you check the boxes of the effects you want on them. i haven’t heard of this problem so i dunno what other advice to give i’m sorry :{ if it’s your first time installing it, you might have to wait a little to get it to load up.
Da puppy is so cute!!!
That dog and Romona are so adorable, I might cry
Ramona's cheeks are so big im in love
NAJKSDJGKJSD THANK YOU i love her and her chubby cheeks ;-;
OMG TOTORO IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE GHIBLI UGH FKSJFJANFB
SAME!!!!!!! if i could only watch ghibli movies for the rest of my life i’d be totally fine with that
THE DOGGIE HAS EYES JUST LIKE RAMONAS IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY
ME FUCKGN TOO!!!!!!!!!! it was fate (aka me creating the wolf pup to look just like her shh i am fate)
Hope I'm not bothering you but i wondered if you knew how to make Tamo sims eyebags work on a toddler? Do I just click in s4s to work for toddler on the "age and gender flags" when looking in My CC or do I have to do something a little more than that please? Thank you.
for any skin detail or makeup, you have to go into s4s and open the package up, go to one of the tabs (honestly i don’t remember which one because i don’t have it open rn lmao) and you’ll see the different age groups and you check the box for toddler. and then save it of course. (there’s probably a better guide on how to do this somewhere lmao)
Hey :) Sorry to take up your time, I was wondering if you use win7, win8 or win10? I'm trying to decide on one and people seem to have very strong feelings about it. Also what web browser do you use? I've used Firefox, but I had some problems on CC websites. Thanks<3
i use windows 10 because it came with my laptop lmao i honestly don’t know much about windows systems at all!! and i use google chrome because it’s never failed me (even though windows keeps pressuring me to use the new internet explorer called “edge”)
i just finished all of novembers in a sitting and 1. i'm Sobbing, 2. your music taste is bomb
THANK YOU!!! my music taste is like one part indie shit, one part rap and hip-hop, twelve parts emo middle school bands
what is the size of the original unedited screenshot?
1920x1080
For reshade when your first install and select the reshade you want to use do you have to edit the settings? Cause last time I tried to (I didn’t know what most of the things meant lmao) but it kept saying error or something so I couldn’t play the game so I ended up taking out reshade
do you mean the preset you want to use? i mean no you can just play with that preset, you don’t have to change anything about it. i’m not sure what you mean but i followed this guide for setting it up
Will you ever share your preset?? Or maybe a preset made be you??
i’ve answered this before but the answer is Maybe
Hi!!!! How do you make the rays of light you have in your photos?? THANK U BBY <3333
that’s actually in my editing tutorial but here you go <3
is reshade only available on windows + do we need to pay for it
yes and no
Hello love! I was wondering (and maybe it's a dumb question, idk) but what life span setting do you use? I would assume you turned off aging for your story but maybe I'm wrong ;w; Thank you!!
i do actually have aging off ‘cause i’m a coward lmao even in the ts3 days when i wasn’t doing story stuff and literally just playing i had it off for the most part and just aged sims up when i wanted because i like to be in control of Everything (aries)
I really just wanted to say that I’m new I your tumblr but your stories are amazing and I love them so much!!! Keep doing what you’re doing💞👏🏼
hey thank you!!! you are so kind and i’m glad you’re enjoying everything!!
In your reshade settings where have you set it to save your SS's to and which key please? I can't find mine after setting it to desktop/screenshots :(
i just set mine to ts4′s screenshots folder because it’s what i was used to and it works for me haha. hmmmmmm did you copy the exact address or whatever it’s called of your folder’s location and then paste it into the reshade box? try doing that with another location and see if it works. if anything you can do what i did ‘cause it worked for me 
ok SO i came across this music video for this like spanish/english speaking indie band called The Marías and the song was déjate llevar and literally everything about the music video reminded me of rooney and gianni
OMMMGGG i love this so much, i cry @ music suggestions and this is so them ;-; i think i’ve heard of this band before actually!!
a little life is going to fucking ruin you,,, just a warning
great! i look forward to it
can a steal ur talent
have it i don’t need it
What app are you using to make them cool edit things??
i tagged it but it was doodle face
omg Strange the Dreamer is so freaking amazing! It’s literally one of my favorite books of all time; You’ll love it. The writing is absolutely delightful
you guys are really singin the praises for this book!! i have so many dang books to read i swear
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Tommy & Ali
Chatting ‘bout Christmas, boy troubles, pregnancy AND THE FACT THE BABY IS TOTALLY NOT DREW’S LOLLOLLOL
Tommy: Oi! 😼 What you gettin da cos like even I feel cheeky considering socks for 2 years running Ali joined the chat 3 hours ago Tommy: I was gonna go full rivers of whiskey cept I'd probs drown myself in it before the bottle was in the bag 😂 Ali: So you should, elf on the shelf! Socks should only ever be an add-on prezzie, even if they're DEAD comical, like. Ali: Speaking of elf on the shelf, would you be willing to come round mine every day at the crack of dawn (aka JUST before the kiddos will arise like horrible demon krakkens from the depths) so I can arrange you in comical positions and situations? Ali: They love that shit. I on the other hand want to murder the CEO of whatever company/the high-key mum mafia that made this shit popular again. Ali: I've got me thinking cap on for the old man for ye...Hmm Ali: (and how rude to get cuffed for the season and not even get to the part where you get a bomb-ass present/someone to tout around the family functions...rude. You not actually at the bottom of a bottle quite yet though, yeah? Doing the obligatory welfare checkup here) Tommy: Excuse you miss money bags! 💰 just 'cause you're one of the rare artists who ain't starving like! some of us don't have boyfriends who cook or paying audiences Tommy: so yeah obvs! Gotta keep in shape just in case don't I? catch me pirouetting across your patio bitch Tommy: Green's my colour these days and red's always been signature Tommy: I'm alright (love you for asking!) how's you? Tommy: Genuinely Ali: Oh yeah, 'cos father will flip his shit if the price tag ain't AT LEAST three figs... 😏 Silly billy, and oi, oi! My student loan ain't kicked in yet ...I'm on a gap yaaaaaah though, darling, I've simply GOTTA act like a frivilous rich bitch. Deal with it, you're still the shady bitch of the fam, okay? 😘 Ali: Yaaasss, you're gonna have to drop a couple of pounds to fit in that teeny costume but a day in the life of a TRUE star init, babe? I believe in you Ali: Bet you didn't come here to be called fat, did you? How fucking cheeky is that forreal Ali: Colour of luck boy 🍀🍀🍀 Ali: Hmm, ngl I'm in a bit of a...situation, and I ain't talking I've forgot to order a turkey Tommy: Imagine...jog on old man just 'cause went for the quantity with the sprogs doesn't mean you'll get quality back soz Tommy: try it but good luck trying to get your little uns to deal with you being the spoilt one 😂 Tommy: well since I got the 🍀 its 🤞 Tommy: feckin hell has caleb forgotten kids are for life not just chrimbo again? Tommy: I'll deck his halls if he's being a prick Ali: That'll show him! That's what you get for bringing me into this world, whole lotta backchat and not an ounce of grattitude, take that! Ali: Join me 'cos I'm sure that's what mum feels I've got her Ali: We did Rio's first Xmas morning, and 2nd, at home! It really is Caleb's fams turn Ali: I can't help that its Junie's first, evidently I ain't planning this shit woman! Ali: #contraceptionwhomst? #pulloutnhopeforthebest #itswhatgodwouldwant Ali: And it ain't like we're not coming over for a second dinner, we fat as hell, get wid it and pass the gravy Ali: Catch me in the tesco throwing tantrums with Rio on the reg tbh #twocanplayatthatgamehoney #childrenraisingchildren Ali: Nah, although loving all the macho threats of violence when my honour is at stake as of late...Is my drama letting you live up to your full brotherly potential? Welcome... Ali: TMI, give a shit, but I'm late on and I've thrown up a few times, not from the mother's ruin, like Ali: hahahahahama'sgonnakillmeisn'tshe Ali: whatthefucklike Tommy: Who you kidding you're the blatant fave & lbr if the lord's got his specs on should be even more so for following her shining example like Tommy: honor thy father and mother and all that Tommy: who doesn't love a mini me Tommy: especially one who can sing every sperm is sacred with perf pitch Tommy: Amen! this aint 1850 pass the roasties gdi! Tommy: all we want for christmas is carbs Tommy: OH MY CHRIST NOT AGAIN Tommy: 😧 Tommy: I know you're on your gap year but no need to be so literal Ali: Ha, please! Not Tess Vickers' fave. Da's, obviously, as he is mine, (babe). You and Joe are the momma's boys, always have been, you needy little babbas. Ali: A woman who doesn't love herself...damn, too deep, reverse, reverse! Ali: You'd be surprised how annoying an all-singing-all-dancing constant reminder of all your best and worst bits is Ali: Usually the best, which is happy-making magic, but when its the worst...GOOD LORDT. Plus its a reminder of the same in your other half, and we all like to overlook that shit now, don't we? *sips tea* Ali: God I am gonna go HAM with my 'cravings' this Chrimbo...what timing! Maybe I did plan this after-all Ali: but no, I did not Ali: But yeah...this is a thing I'm processing, thought I'd drag you down with me 🤷 Tommy: I was gonna be all like not with him probs dead in a ditch and me one audition away from getting cosy in a cardboard box but I better swerve too dont wanna spend the season with the samaritans on speed dial Tommy: you and fraze are the success stories savor it Tommy: honey I've got a mirror Tommy: and near constant feedback from them in the know Tommy: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tommy: that's calebs chrimbo gift sorted then yeah? Ali: Lordy, I know we're Irish but there's no need to be that fuckin' maudlin, Tommo Ali: Oh, you wanted an idea for Da but that is SO Fraze's prezzie Ali: Just tell him that, all day. Money can't buy that kinda happiness Ali: The spirit of the Holidays Ali: Them in the know don't know shit Ali: I mean...gift or curse? Ali: We've only just got back on track, this is probably going to derail the whole damn caboose Tommy: everyone's a critic and there's only one shane macgowan I hear ya Tommy: I reckoned you meant a mirror for a sec I was like uh huh he's got that one covered love 😏 Tommy: Hey! That's mine covered 🙋 just repeat that back to me Tommy: those clueless cunts Tommy: Nah he'll be buzzing esp if he gets another girl Tommy: there's only one Rio but he's shameless ha Tommy: leave the cursing for ma she'll be doing plenty once she's done stuffing your stocking with contraceptives Ali: Mhmm, save it for the improptu karaoke when we're all feeling merry on the day, like Ali: Lmao, he'd live in a 360 degree view changing room if he could Ali: How millenial of us! Lets just gift each other with positive affirmations Ali: Maybe...Gah Ali: Whatever, whether he deals or doesn't, doesn't change the fact I am with child again and yeah, Caleb's reaction is the least of my worries Ali: I'm going to be going to Uni abroad with 3 kids...damn Ali: If I don't get locked away for my own good, of course Tommy: 😇 Will do Tommy: I reckon that's the goal when he 'makes it' Tommy: scrawl it on my personalised starbies cup and have done babe Tommy: You're grand it'll just be one hell of a plane ride Tommy: 🍀 & 🤞 Tommy: OH SHIT WAIT Tommy: the whole Caleb reaction thing has me thinking...not to be rude but Tommy: it is his yeah? Ali: It better be Ali: Aside from the Drew incident I didn't shag anyone else Ali: and we used a condom Ali: I mighta been several sheets to the wind but I hadn't lost my whole goddamn mind Tommy: thank christ for that Tommy: imagine trying to play happy families with that twat Ali: Amen Ali: Yeah that isn't the life I've signed up for Ali: Bitches forget I already got a ring on my finger, like Ali: Legal or otherwise Tommy: Beyonce is here for your union Tommy: good enough for me Tommy: low key proud of ya not to be an enabler but like Tommy: I'll happily hooray you getting Drew to put something on it too god knows where that fuckboy's been Ali: Thank you! I will take that hooray because I literally had to mum Ro's arse and tell her to do the same every time Ali: AND had to do it in such a way it didn't sound like I was saying as much, like, your boyf is a cheater and we all know it sweetie Tommy: ugh 😷 glad you did though I hear your next door nemesis had to get herself to the clinic sharpish & i don't reckon she'd spread gossip that'd make her out to be riddled Tommy: 🦀🐛 Ali: 🤢😤 Unsurprised on both their behalf there but low-key furious Ali: he knows how that bitch treats Ro, and always has done Ali: there's being a cheat with any random hoe and then there's that...is it me or is that next-level careless? Ali: To the point it looks like he's doing it to hurt her, I'm sure he's just ignorant but, like, what the fuck?!!? Tommy: RIGHT? Tommy: like I don't doubt she ain't telling him all the ins and outs of her childhood drama but still Tommy: even with more brains than biceps he's gotta have a clue or two Tommy: OOOPS ACCIDENTAL COMPLIMENT Tommy: I'm offended on my own behalf Tommy: almost as cringe as once thinking he was hot 🤓😳 kms Ali: Yeah but it ain't like he's not been here...and she's still a cunt to Ro now, so Ali: Tries to be to me but who's listening, Bitch I'm deaf all of a sudden??? Ali: Hahahahaha Ali: He's attractive, to the point its kinda fact more than opinion so I don't think you're alone on that score Ali: If the notches on his bedpost are anything to go by...and I fucked him so can't be judging, consider your sins absolved, no hail mary's needed, maybe a few bloodys when I next pin u down for an IRL debrief? Ali: Oh wait, a bitch can't...I'll make it a Virgin Mary...WHEY! Tommy: True and I know he ain't got a bitch muted 'cause I aint rn either 👀 & my specs are on when I'm scrolling Tommy: I see what I see Tommy: 😞 Tommy: Fuck it lets go dancing Tommy: bounce that bump while you still can Ali: 'Course not, gotta 'low the bitch to slide into dem dms on the reg, if for nothing else than the ego boost Ali: 😒 Ali: I need that, lets go lets go lets go, its been TIME since I got to go out and not take the bubs Ali: I'll have to see who can have 'em though... Ali: Can't be mum, really selling how responsible a parent I'm gonna be to 3 by throwing 2 at her and fucking off to partay Tommy: SAMSIES...not that I'm going out with 2 kids on the reg but y'know Tommy: we on it 💃 Tommy: Dial up their daddy Tommy: he'll step up while we step out I'm sure Ali: Sure, just the one, like #oosh! toosoonforbants? Ali: Can but try, I'll get back to you when he replies Ali: Ooh, what are we gonna wear Tommy: I've got my elf cossie if I can only squeeze in Tommy: you could pin a red letter on if you've got something that won't clash 🤔 own that guilt like a good catholic 📿 Ali: Ooh, festive AND appropriate for my situ, I like it. Tommy: A for advent sweeties 😘 Tommy: can you cut my hair though I looking like the grinch if he was a blonde blue eyed dreamboat Ali: And Awesome! And Ali! And Ass! 😎 Ali: Obvi, you never could rock the long hair look, remember that dark period in time 😂 Ali: Can I try something slightly new tho? 🤔 Tommy: why the feck not gotta at least look ready to mingle like Tommy: 💔😂 Ali: Dubo not gonna know what's hit it and ya mans gonna know what he missing when I'm done with you! Promise Tommy: I'll hold you to it Tommy: no pressure Tommy: oooh maybe we could go shopping 😀 Ali: You know I'm winning boys back like its my business Ali: well, boy singular but that's enough, right? #greedybisexual Ali: I am always down for killing time snapping up killer #lewks, lets do it man Tommy: yaaaaaaaaaaas Tommy: careful I might hold you to that too #tipsfrommybabysiskms Ali: baby be wise tho 💞 where u at i'll come get u Tommy: about a lot of things yeah 👍 nws I'll come at you I need the exercise #aintforgotyoucalledmeafattylike Ali: alright well, RUN FORREST RUN Tommy: 🏃
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