#i still think the characters are fun even if i don't really care for them
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Y'all if you really need this to be all queer all the time I can support that but it's not that fucking hard to do. Make em both bi or pan or nonbinary or any number of fun things. The notion of a romance founded in mutually seeking an abortion and the intimacy of sharing one's desires for the present and maybe the future against the backdrop of ensuring one another's freedom from parenthood (at least, right now) is too good a concept to let go.
Couple of Texan kids, say. I spent a long time there, it's a natural pick for me. They're in college and they go to one of those keggers the frats throw, meet at a wild party as college kids, maybe they're freshmen or sophomores. Call em Sam and Kris so I don't have to specify which character has which genitals.
Sam's a nervous anxious perfectionist with huge career plans and big dreams who has life planned out in exhaustive (and exhausting) detail, only even at this party because a friend insisted on a break between exam rounds. There's a lot of internal pressure built up that's going to explode the moment Sam relaxes. Kris is a little unformed, not sure what major to pick or what career to settle on, still trying to work out what kind of person might be good to grow into, good at surface connections but kind of lonely for something deeper. The frat parties are familiar and comfortable—Kris knows how they work and how they run, and if you're friendly and you smile at people and maybe hook up now and again you get to feel REALLY connected and useful, and that's a heady feeling. They meet at the party Sam's friend picked out and immediately feel the attraction and hook up while totally shit faced—huge aberration for Sam, maybe not so much for Kris. There's a condom, but it breaks. It doesn't seem like a big deal in the moment, but in the morning, that's another story.
Sam is panicked. A baby is going to derail all their careful plans and their self control, but you can't not step up to take care of a baby. Ohhhhhh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, what do we do? Kris is quiet as they consider the mess and the possibilities. Shit. Shit shit shit. They maybe exchange numbers and withdraw for a minute until someone's period is late. They might try to find plan B but neither of them is entirely sure where you buy that shit and it takes a few days to find out, by which point it's too late. And then the period fails to show up, and it fails to show up, and the pregnancy test reads positive, and they're running out of time...)
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
IF SAM HAS A DICK: they are a moral and ethical enough person that they do not consider abandoning Kris as an option if the pregnancy goes to term. They may propose marriage or coparenting as a potential option but they are clearly terrified by all possible options.
Kris is touched and kind of flattered. They're not sure whether they want kids or not, but now doesn't feel like a great time with everything so up in the air. Anyway, Sam is hot but used diapers and vomiting do not sound hot at ALL right now, and Kris's parents are kind of distant and definitely aren't going to be any kind of useful. They broach a preference for an abortion, Sam sags in shocked relief, and then starts talking about figuring out how to pay for it—not what Kris expected���and making plans to skip classes and talk to teachers to figure out the logistics. Oh, Kris thinks, feeling warm and fuzzy: Kris expected to be on their own to fix this, but Sam is acting like this is both their responsibility equally to resolve. They've never felt cared for like that. Oh...
IF KRIS HAS A DICK:
Sam is hyperventilating over the pregnancy test results and acting as if going to one party doomed them for all time, and Kris inexplicably kind of wants to hug them? Shit happens sometimes. They ask tentatively what Sam actually wants as Sam starts collapsing under the weight of the impending ruin of their life and how disappointed "everyone" will be and all the bad things that might happen, and Sam whips their head over and stares for a second in astonishment before saying, huntedly, "I want for none of this to be happening!"
"Oh, okay. Do you want an abortion?"
"I can't afford to on my own, I'm going to have to ask my parents for extra money and they are not going to be happy. Shit, shit, shit, I'm going to be paying for this until the end of time, I don't have time for this—" and Sam bursts into tears. Kris feels bad and, like, look. Kris likes to help people anyway, and it's not like this situation isn't equally Kris's own fault. So they offer to help Sam figure this out and pay for the whole thing—they've got a job at a bar that can cover it—and they help Sam calm down and explore some options so that together they can find a place to get an abortion. They offer to drive, too: that means they don't have to wait as long on a bus or something but Sam can study from the passenger seat. It's not like any of Kris' classes require a lot of effort; psychology is good for that much. Let's make a day trip out of it.
Sam, who is used to having to do everything on their own, is feeling really cared about and seen right now. And, well, Kris is really hot...
There you go. It's a fucking romance. Deal with it.
there's an extremely niche plot in romance fiction wherein our invariably heterosexual leads fall in love after a night of passion leads to an unplanned pregnancy and they're now bound together by an impending child. I cast no judgment on anyone who enjoys this, but since I'm an evil gay and this is my personal nightmare scenario I want to see a zany romance novel premised on the opposite resolution: a couple falls in love while on a whirlwind roadtrip to obtain a legal abortion
#911 brain rot for example: imagine Eddie and Sharon's relationship in the world where there isn't Chris#Or at least not there right THEN anyway#Imagine the future where they both get to go to college and be their full selves#Find out who they are to one another and who they actually want to be#It's a very different story EVEN IF YOU BRING CHRIS IN LATER#I've been the accidental kid who sparked a marriage and changed everyone's lives quite young okay?#And not even THAT young#It's hard to not have opinions about that when you know how much parenting can cost things about people's dreams and careers and lives#Especially for women#An abortion is a gift of time
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Project Eden's Garden CH 1 thoughts
hey so this probably isn't gonna be coherent at all cause i just finished the chapter and it took my like 12 hours to finish it so i have not slept but i just need to get my thoughts out lol
uh anyway major spoilers for the whole chapter you have been warned
so for the chapter as a whole i had a great time playing it! you can really see all the love and care put into this project. that being said, this chapter was CARRIED by it's deadly life/trial section, at least in my opinion. the daily life wasn't like terrible by any means it just didn't feel like a whole lot happened? the days felt really short, like the day you explore the new area is literally, wake up, meet in the dining hall briefly, explore the new area, and then go to bed. i was like ????? how is the day already done what. and then when the motive was introduced it was a bit lackluster, the concept was really cool with the pictures and the vague messages for the blackmail, but then we barely find out what anyone's information and the few people we do find out isn't super bad (expect for wolfgang kind of, maybe?), hell damon is not once concerned about the motive and none of the other characters seem all that concerned about it either which i think kinda brings the tension and stakes down. it's pretty evident when you find out the killer's motive as nothing to do with the blackmail and they weren't even concerned over their own blackmail so they have to create an entirely separate motive with the whole traitor perk thing, and it's not like that came out of thin air cause you're told about the secret prize from the get go i just don't get why they didn't use the motive they already made instead of revealing it all at the end of the trial from tozu.
ok whoops getting kind of off topic there but yeah daily life, it just felt like there could have been more, maybe it just has to do with the kind of guy damon is, but it kind of felt like we were dragging our feet from time to time idk maybe im just insane.
as for deadly life, holy shit they made some ballsy decisions here. can't really say whether they were good ones yet or not since we still have 5(?) more chapters but i have to respect the devs for who the first victim and killer ended up being (i'll get to them later). i remember thinking (man this is a pretty long investigation lol), although it probably didn't help that it took me forever to find the blood in the hallway i was genuinely so confused as to what i was missing I went back into all of the storage closets and like triple checked i had exgauhsted all dialogue, and then i was trying the move my mouse all over the place to see if there was anything else to search and then i finally found it.
the trial was so fucking fun, as devastated as i was due to who the victim was it was a ton of fun figuring out the crime and i genuinelly thought it was gonna be diana and i was gonna be done with the trial in about 2 hours and only to hit and intermission and realize i hadn't used like half my evidence yet. the mechanism of the crime was really cool too and i had a lot of fun solving it, even if i did start to lose the plot when it came to the stuff of the cord and the vent but that might've just been me being tired. I will say i did not enjoy the bullet hell argument whatever it's called at the very end, the artwork was really cool but it took me FOREVER to beat it, and myabe that's just cause i'm bad at video games but ti was so frustrating getting to stage 3 multiple times then loosing all of my health and having the start all over again. i think it would have been better if you run of of health you have to start from the beginning of whatever stage you died on but hey maybe i just suck at the game idk.
okay now on to some more character specific stuff, first of all WOLFGANG AKIRE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GAHHHH
ugh i'll admit it, i'm actually devastated he died first like seriously thank god the trial was as good as it was cause i might have stopped playing if it wasn't lol. in all seriousness though i was so excited for how he'd handle someone killing and all of the reprecussions with that only for him to die first lol. i really hope that this isn't the last we get to hear about him though, like i hope he's not just like a passing thought in ch 2 and then never mentioned again kind of a thing like hopefully he'll be plot relevant in the future or something idk i just want more wolfgang he's my fav BRING HIM BACKKKK. maybe we'll get to learn more about him through grace cause i'm now like 99% sure they knew each other before this whole mess lmao i mean come on grace wanted to be roomies with him and she was so fucking devastated by him dying and didn't want people poking around his room like come on.
and just everything you find out about his situation in the trial is just devastating oh my godddd. i was really worried they were gonna pull the whole "omg guys wolfgang was killed in self-defense and he was actually terrible this whole time and you all should have believed me(damon) cause i was right all along memememememe" and they didn't thank god. just that whole scene where diana reveals their confrontation was just so good like that is one of my top fangan scenes of all time now. just all the stuff he was saying revealing stuff about his character that might NEVER BE ELABORATED ON CAUSE HES FUCKING DEAD NOW WTFFFF WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS. and the voice acting was fucking incredible holy shit NAD THE FUCKING SPRITE WORK OH MY GOD THAT SHIT WAS AMAZING. the sprites for wolfgang and eva (i'll get to her later) were so fucking good i mean just look at this shit
LIKE THIS IS DEVESTATING TO ME LIKE HOLY FUCK BRO I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN UR HEAD AND NOW I NEVER WILL CAUSE UR DEAD UGHHHHHH
it's really funny cause i actually ended up doing all of his FTEs not knowing he was gonna die
now let's talk about eva cause holy fuck girl. i remember after the prologue she was one of my least favorite characters, cause it felt like her whole personality was "ooooo look at how mysterious and cool I am ooooooooo", but then you get the reveal that she lied about being the ultimate liar and you get her normal talent and she actually shows an actual personality and is a video game nerd i was like "omg yes i'm loving the p:eg team's take on this!" and she was moving up my character tier list ranking very quickly, and then she was revealed as the killer and she tried to pin everything on damon and then her reasons for killing wolfgang in the first place and she went right back down to the bottom LMAO. not because i thought she had bad writing or something but at the end of the day her motivations for taking the perk were pretty selfish and while i agree that wolfgang shouldn't have been trying to isolate her like that she kind of put a target on herself for no reason by lying about her talent like girl what did you think was going to happen lol. also her execution was fucking brutal, it looked incredible but damn was it brutal, she didn't need to go out like that omg.
as for some other characters, always gonna love my girls grace and cassidy they were a delight as always and i look forward to seeing more of them, diana went up on my tier list and i'm looking forward to seeing where her character goes from here, i'm also really loving jean a lot but he feels a little too helpful so i fear he might die next chapter lol.
i feel like there's more i have to say but im so tried lol so yeah have whatever this is lol. overall i had a great time playing and everyone did an amazing job working on it (even if i am really upset you killed my fav), i look forward to whatever the next chapter brings!
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probably a weird thing to ask you but you seem to have watched a lot of those panels. why do you think they keep doing those cons. outside i guess of the money. i'm asking as someone who hasn't seen their panels at all. maybe one day i will. but like, i think, what do you think j2 (and the rest of the cast presumably) get out of it.
thank you again for this ask, i am very happy to have an excuse to talk about this! i have not been in this fandom very long (about 2 years now) and i mostly just make stuff so i think i still have a slightly outsider perspective, so i suppose take all this with that in mind. :)
straight away, for sure the financial aspect is gonna be part of it - and i imagine especially so for the cast that participates that had smaller roles. but that aside, i don't genuinely believe that the main cast would continue to do these for so long unless they enjoyed it and got something positive out of it, especially being that they are actively working on other projects too. they actually talked about this, in a way, at this most recent con (nashcon 2024) so i'm going to include some of that - and a bit jared talked about the connections fans have made (chicon 2023). for reasons stated below*, i'm sure there are a bunch of examples of times they've talked about these things i'm not aware of, because i haven't read or watched that much panel content. but here's a small sampling.
jared and jensen main pain, nashcon 2024 question: what has it been like to watch the entire fandom change and grow over these last many years, and people who have been at these conventions change and grow?
jared and jensen gold panel chicon 2023 question: what's your favorite fan interaction over the years?
to go along with this, i think it's part and parcel to the topic; i really do believe they truly are invested and care about their characters and the story. the way they've talked about the revival/season 16/whatever you call it, they're all in to go back to it. jared even mentioned at one point if they had shorter seasons (which they asked for repeatedly), they might still be making the show. i don't have concrete examples i can point to in panels, but i think if you do watch them talk about their characters much, there's a lot of thoughtfulness and care there.
Would you be open to returning to Sam Winchester? I feel like there are more stories for that character and, with The Winchesters done, it's a weird time to be a Supernatural fan with no new Supernatural on television for the first time in almost 20 years. It is weird, right? It's weird for you to say that and weird for me to realize it. The simple answer to your question is 100%. I will play Sam Winchester again. Jensen will play Dean Winchester again. It's more of a timing and availability thing. In hindsight, Jensen and I have always said "always," if we ever have the option. I think in the last two or three seasons of Supernatural, when we realized somebody might want more, we said "2025. In 2020, we're ending this. Let's get together in five years and see what Sam and Dean are up to." I'm going to see him in a few weeks to talk to him about it again. We've talked about it a few times. He and I are both champing at the bit to see what these boys have been up to and what else good they can do in this world or the next. I'm excited about it. My only contingency about it is, with Jensen and I being so protective of the show and the characters, the story has to be absolutely right. I don't just put on flannel and big coat, get in an Impala and say "Dean!" That won't work for Jared. It needs to have a purpose, as Sam and Dean always did.
via cbr, walker season 4 interview with jared
and i think they just have fun! they've developed a relationship with fandom that works for them in this format and they get to play around on stage with their friends and entertain people that love them. at the end of the day, it is a job for them, and they are putting on a performance; but i wouldn't be so cynical to think they aren't being somewhat genuine within that framework.
jared and jensen dccon 2023 main panel question: How long have you guys been friends?
and not to be totally j2 brained, but when you have a connection with someone like this, maybe it also isn't such a hardship to keep working together
*i actually haven't actually watched many panels! but fortunately for me (us), i have seen a lot of gifs and transcriptions. i have a hard time with the video format for reasons. when i decide to make gifs, it's often because i saw a quote or snippet somewhere and i go looking for the conversation to get a clip of, and sometimes might bump into something else that grabs me while i'm there. fortunately, a lot of the videos on youtube have at least autogenerated captions so i can scroll through the transcript there/search for keywords, etc. @eisforeidolon transcribes selections of questions from cons periodically, which i'm forever grateful for. a not insignificant chunk of my panel related show/cast trivia has been gleaned from those.
#j2#jared padalecki#jensen ackles#chicon 2023#chicon#nashcon 2024#nashcon#mygifs#j2gifs#j2 cons#j2 gifs#asks#bloodyentrails#dccon 2023#long post
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chat am i cooked
#i feel like if i saw all the bosses on my first walkthough i'd have a different opinion lol#i still think the characters are fun even if i don't really care for them#my stuff
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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Completed the Shenkuu Stamp collection some time ago, so it was only fair to draw my girl Mirsha
#neopets#neotag#neoart#vin doods#gnorbu#drawing this was actually really fun in a way that when i was looking for references i didn't know she was such a lesbian icon#not surprised but hey lets cheer for the lesbian alpaca!#I'm not as happy with the colors as I thought#I'm a bit rusty in just really warm colors without it looking burnt for some reason HJSD#but looking at pictures of AC teams have made me really fall into my old virtupets fix#i love everyone so much on that team and not really that many ppl play for it#i still remember winning a long long time ago and was completely blown away as it was basically just 5 ppl in a forum going mad#i just really love the designs of most of the players on all groups??#i don't even like playing in the AC that much i just love the characters LMFAOO#i think i still remember I drew fanart of Sela and the gelert from the darigan team when i was like 8-9 and submitting in onto deviantart#and getting hate comments probably like 8 years later because i missed his wings or i made them too small or sth#that was hilarious thinking about it now but it did made me hate the darigan team for that year SDHFKSD#ok this is too long it always ends up wit me just rambling#I love my boy XL Striker 3.8 and Sela#ok nobodys reading uhhhh#send me an ask with the weirdest emoji out of context if you've read this far tbh nobody cares by this point HJSKSFD#idk if ill draw someone for the AC team everytime i complete a stamp collection but if i'm feeling like it maybe#or if they're requested tecnically#thats it bye
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Hey i am back with a thought.
I know we already mentioned like. The future future plans concerning kids in the New Age storyline.
I was thinking. Who would carry/get the kid in the couples? (Yes this implies mpreg. If this aint your thing no worries you can just ignore everything else :3 )
As you mentioned before. Nightmare and error would most likely adopt.
Between dream and blue i think blue would end up carrying the kid. Dream would feel too locked up and locked down if he had to take it easy. Also. Let this man pamper Blue. He deserves that.
Ccino and Killer. Ccino wouldnt want kids for a LONG time and even just the idea would be slow going. But killer has his soul situation (is that also a situation in this story?) And he is a knight being out and about. Ccino is safely at home and would be the safer option. But they would need a long time before ccino would feel comfortable with the idea.
Horror and Crop. Crop. Hands down. Horror with his work and Crop has help on the farm. But i doubt thwy would get a kid because they have along distance relationship.
Cross and Lust it depends on who wants it more. I can see both being the one who does it mostly because i can see pros and cons for both sides.
Reaper, Geno and Dust. Only one option. Reaper. Dust doesnt have a healthy enough soul and that with his spell around it? No way he can carry a kid. Geno meanwhile only has a soulshard so he isnt healthy enough to carry a kid either. Leaving only Reaper as an option.
Okay that was it. :D
Haha! Omg I keep forgetting this is smth I can think about! Usually it's not my scene so it might not cone up much in-stiry but it IS how I picture the cast having kids in this one, so!!! We're diving in!!
Like u said, those boys are adopting hehe-
With Dream and Blue it's a bit hard, because I think that Dream would be really really worried about Blue the entire time. Like, terrified his magic would accidentally trigger the whole Twin thing. But, ultimately, yeah, probably Blue! Dream *would* get too restless, and Blue rlly does deserve to be pampered hehe- (I just think Blue would have to really really talk Dream into it. Dream does NOT want to be like his mother anymore.)
Killer and Ccino... let's go with a yes on Killer's soul situation, so Ccino would be their only option. But, like you said, it would be ages before they even thought about discussing the idea, let alone actually having a kid.
Ohhh yeah. I see Horror and Crop as the ones least likely to have kids (as u said, long Distance relationship, but also they just have to much on their plates? They're practical guys and focus on their work and existing families first. Plus, someone has to be the cool uncles to their nieces and nephews!) But definitely Crop. Especially because Horror is pretty low on natural magic as-is and even though his soul is healthy, his body might not even be able to form a firm ecto, let alone anything safe to harbor a forming soul. (Unlike Ccino, Horror was born that way, and the injury didn't help lmao-)
Cross and Lust? I think they'd both regularly get baby fever, but neither of then would be ready to settle down for a *while* in that way, so I think they'd push off the question until years later. Then when it comes up, they 'fight' over it. Insisting that they should carry- I think they'd end up choosing Cross though! As much as Lust seems like the more convenient option, as he's not a knight, Cross is just built different and insists that if anything goes wrong he wants to be the one it happens to. Which, ofc, leads to him doing training whilst in the early stages until someone (probably Killer or Dust) notices he's a little off and then Cross admits he's got a soulling. He did not expect to immediately get horrified looks (because they were fighting someone with a lil guy inside them, not because he has a lil guy) or to immediately get ushered out of training and to his room because??? Idiot??? What were you thinking??? Cross is the worst at staying off his duties, but his brother's have him covered, thank god-
And yep, put perfectly! Reaper is so genuinely the only option! It leads to some odd interactions, since Reaper can't exactly stop being King, but he manages shockingly well and has Geno there to help him (and probably later on Dust, since Night isn't about to leave Dust out of that due to work-) And. I like to think these three in particular have multiple kids perhaps, Kane and then another, and it's kinda a running joke that Reaper's the one hauling them around lmao- (Also very convenient! Because Reaper is the one with death magic in his soul, the kids are effectively immune to it! They were made from that stuff basically, so ofc they're fine!)
#new age au#this ask hit me like a truck at first ngl#but it was actually really fun to think about so I committed and it helped me work on dynamics so ty Ancha!#(usually pregnancy gives me the ick but don't worry about it lol)#I really really love the image of Cross being stubborn and absolutely sure that he can train for a little while#at least until it really starts developing. no one will even notice! y'know? it'll be fine!#and he gets away with it pretty much until either Lust spills the beans at a dinner how far along they are or until Cross suddenly has an#ecto all the time and the others are suspiscious and get the answer out of him themselves lmao#bad first-time parent Cross my beloved. he loves the little soul so much. but was also not raised well.#people keep forgetting his awful childhood and that he's still not 100% sure what's normal 😭#also unrelated but Reaper is in such a situation- he doesn't care and neither does Geno but#it is SUCH a thing because. a king? a king is carrying? what about the wizard? the assassin? the partners he never shuts up about?#and because Dust's soul is a sensitive topic Reaper cones up with more abd more stupid reasons as to why he's the one who has it#'If Dust carried then the kid would be a citizen of Orchard. we can't have that!' is definitely one of them and it's said through giggles#okay enough of my rambling-#I love making characters into good parents (*COUGH* Ccino and Killee *COUGH*) but I also love making them horrendous at it at first while#alao lovibg their kids more than anything else (Cross. Lust. Probably Error. probably Dream-)#wait I lied#not done#Blue really has to beg Dream to let him carry like. so fr. because Dream refuses to risk it.#I think he'd make Blue promise that if twins started forming they'd nope out. yeet them and try again. which is a very heavy promise#for Dream to ask of Blue but... he agrees because he understands. ofc it doesn't come to that but I think it'd have to be the stipulation.#otherwise it'd be a Blue-only kid or nothing at all haha-#queuing this for the morning!
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they're so GROSSSSSS (<- desperately wants what they have)
alt color under the cut:
#martzipan#komahina#hajime hinata#nagito komaeda#2 final colors bc my brain is allergic to desaturation. i needed to have One Bright One for my sanity#anyways i think they have this thing when they finally get together#where komaeda will just say. Anything basically. in an attempt to fluster hinata#and it does fluster him! but also sometimes he decides to do something about it#which flusters KOMAEDA even harder bc the dumbass forgets that like. affection can happen to him#which makes HINATA flustered again because 'you can say all that but one kiss is overwhelming?!?'#and they do this. all the time. especially early on before they're really used to each other#and they're gross about it. they do this in public. everyone else has to watch them do this like. thrice daily#they're awful. and also i envy them#tried some new things this time. more character interaction practice which is fun#i think this is likee... the third???? kiss i've ever drawn??? good for them#but i care more about the lineart. i tried to think about line weight at least a little bit :] it is Difficult lmao#this one made me realize i need to do a hips study lmao. also a neck study#in other words a girl needs to practice her joints more#there's still smth bugging me abt hinata's face in the 3rd one. but. i don't care it's done i'm not touching it
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.
#i’m putting this down here because i don’t actually really want to talk about it or answer asks about it but i’m like a little annoyed lmao#first of all obviously people should have boundaries and not be annoying/invasive/etc. duh.#i have been around the rpf block many a time and rule 1 is don’t be a weirdo. don't let it out of fandom spaces :)#but yeah idk. oliver stark to me feels like someone who is actually very familiar with the mechanics of fandom warfare#and therefore does not know how to log off when it starts to get personal#like to be clear i definitely do not think he engages directly with This fandom other than to lurk and spy on people for fun/haterism#but in MY opinion he has the energy of a person who spends a nonzero amount of time engaged in petty anonymous beef#over a character or a ship or a sport or a new brand of tofu. idk i don’t really care what he’s into#but it does sort of seem like he forgets that when he’s doing it on his real socials with his real face and real name attached#people are going to know that it’s him and respond accordingly and he should just like. block them and move on.#and maybe even go back to his burner and vague about it or something if he truly cannot just walk away.#which he does seem to be sort of getting slightly better at but it's still just like. yeah man! i don't know what to tell you.#people are weird sometimes. we all get weird anons and dm’s and people cyberbullying us. it sucks and it shouldn't happen but it does.#and you do literally just have to find ways to make it easier to ignore them. i know that you know this#because you are a human who grew up on the same exact internet as the rest of us.#i say; as i feel compelled to post about a tiny situation from like 12 hours ago that has literally nothing to do with me#anyway!!!!!!!#i went into the settings to turn off reblogs and thought how funny would it be if i blazed this post lmao
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Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.
I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.
Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D
Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!
It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!
As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!
Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),
but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--
you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!
#replies#novella november#long rambly tags to follow lol#including anti royalist / anti billionaire shit#ominous october#this is what my novella november is going to be#something that WAS a huge earth-shattering fanfic AU#but before I even got past a WIP Oneshot I'd already realized that what I was planning was going to turn canon so far on its head it would#be unrecognizable and it would be much better off and more coherent if I made it entirely original#so now it is!#not only does this involve changing every single characters name#everyone is now a completely different species other than human because thats always fun#and of course we're also tackling all the issues that had annoyed me in omega verse fics since I was like 14 and liked the#creature aspects but hated the biological essentialism and misogny / caste systems#if your fantasy people have an enforced caste system you gotta actually treat that like the horror and systemic oppression it is#not just say 'biological = right' like dude what do you think people have been saying about real women this whole time????#people literally insist women are biologically inferior to men do you really think supporting that idea is going to make you sound#progressive just because your main character is a tomboy independant woman?#also like she lost all her independence as soon as she found a man to marry so uhhhhh#what happened to being ready and willing to hit the bricks if people kept talking down to you and condescending you for being a woman????#why did you go from independant badass tomboy to fainting damsel who spends all her time worrying about failing to produce an heir#so her husband can take power#instead of just straight up telling your husband#'hey I don't want to deal with the bullshit from your father how about we do the-#- socially acceptable thing and just go off to make our own independant settlement with some of the villagers who are on your side'#like your husband would literally be escstatic about this idea of finally getting out from under his dad's tyrannical thumb#and its more like way more than half the villagers would go with you not just a handful#theyve been sick of the kings shit for years and only your husband's potential rise to rule kept them in check#cus he actually cares about the villagers and goes among them#while still clearly having some biases to work through when it comes to class and gender equality
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Finally got around to watching ep 11 (´;ω;`)
#I'm late...#I'm sorry I wasn't able to watch the episode by time last week but again. Food poisoning. And then the new chapter came out#I feel like I had much more to say when I started watching it last week...#Mmmmhh. I really like when bsd animation uses the colored lineart effect for flashbacks / subspaces (Anne's Room‚ Poe's books).#I think it's one of the prettiest and most original things of the bsd animation.#I've always felt like the Natsume reveal was a bit coming out of nowhere lol.#Here's this legendary ability user everyone knows but no one has ever seen with this immensely unthinkable powerful ability...#That the reader literally wasn't ever made aware of in the previous 49 chapters lol#After all that build up‚ his ability even feels a little underwhelming.#Which I suppose was the intended result‚ but I'm not sure it really works all that well in the end.#Then Naomi's words “Come to think of it‚ the things that happen when Mii-chan vanishes [...]‚ disasters are stopped every time”#really feel soooo out of place when so-called Mii-chan was never before mentioned up to this episode (╥﹏╥)#But I'll stop complaining. It's nothing big really#Fukuzawa and Mori's relationship is very homoerotic. Tbh#I looooove the ss/kk I don't even have much to say just watching scenes of them interacting together fills my heart of a warm feeling :')#The animation quality is very poor and the drawings are very undetailed but really I love ss/kk too much to care.#A lot of emphasis is put by the fandom on Atsushi's cruel remark towards Akutagawa in this ch/ep and it *is* cruel but really...#Akutagawa had literally just attacked Atsushi in a death-threatening way‚ futilely and completely unprompted#I can't find it in myself to blame Atsushi if he was irritated and lashed out at him.#And all their other moments are just so cute. What do you mean Akutagawa is deeply interested in understanding Atsushi's motivations.#What do you mean Atsushi can't get Akutagawa out of his mind!!!! They're so cute#So many more cute moments were cut out too rip lawnmower line you'll always be missed rip date line you'll always be missed#I feel like Pushkin's character is another instance of‚‚‚ Wow me and the author's morals really don't align at all#I really don't like the narrative of “weaker people will constantly try to harm and take advantage of strongest ones”#random rambles#Fun fact when I watched this episode for the first time I asked my mother to join me. Because I know a ss/kk scene was coming and I really–#didn't want to watch it alone. Well as it turned out the whole first half of the episode was dedicated to old man fighting–#and she gave up after that 😂😂 But I'm still grateful to her for trying.
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Boothill's presentation being entirely on the twitter post makes me think he will be irrelevant in the story in the long(ish) run, and that the game itself won't dwell on him almost at all
#Kinda like Argenti but Argenti seemed to be part of a larger lore and worldbuilding#Boothill doesn't even give me that vibe#Cool design though. I do love revenge stories and western films so...#*sighs* I guess I may consider him if he's fun to play with and the story is interesting. I hope he takes Aventurine out of the grave#(Or do I? Emotionally I do. Rationally I think I may lean more towards 'keep Aventurine dead' tbh)#Imagine if his revenge is against the IPC in general and Aventurine in particular but when he gets there Aventurine is already dead#The enormous fail that would be hahaha#Automaton cowboy is such a good design though I would have liked it more had they taken the automaton way enhancing the clockwork thing#instead of the cyborg one with the futuristic air. What can I say I do love automatons and clockwork#and to me they're far superior aesthetically than cyborgs. Not into cyborgs and robots at all. Sorry Screwllum. Herta most beloved design#I wonder if his gameplay will revolve around some killing himself mechanic#I don't know what to say I do love those things gameplaywise. I love the risk they add and how they make one strategise a little more#Even beyond the story and the lore‚ Blade is still my fave character to use. So fun so flexible and ironically so reliable despite the risk#Abfksndk rambling#I am thinking of Aventurine and I'm thinking of Fu Xuan. I think I'll skip Robin unless they go dark-dark with her#but I'm still considering Sunday if they make him shady. I was looking forwards to Firefly but I've disliked her writing a lot#so for now she's a big skip. I wouldn't mind getting Topaz given I love the FUA mechanics and the SU#but I like other characters more and I don't like her design at all so I'll skip her too#Couldn't care less about IL (I have him in an alt account and I don't like him at all) so that's a big skip too#I like Screwllum but not enough for now. Hmmm I guess I could get one shielder since I do love them as characters#and then save until one character really convinces me. Boothill‚ Robin‚ Sunday hmmm I hope Sunday is shady and grey#I wonder if they'll bring Huaiyan. I would give a leg for Huaiyan. Yeah I've not moved on from the Xianzhou I love that place#and I adore Huaiyan and the Zhuming. I so hope we'll get to see that ship#I talk too much
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🙈
#I feel. like I get too worried about putting my stuff in the tags LOL#or just too worried about ants in general#but to be fair I've come from some really infested fandoms#where people got reported for this stuff so hard they were removed from the site#idk if tumblr changed it though. maybe they did. where if someone hit a certain number of reports on their account they got removed#whether they were breaking TOS or not#I think that could have been changed because I don't see it happen anymore#but the more I cared about this tumblr acc the more scared of that I got LOL#it's been super peaceful though???#this could just be because I blocked like half the fandom before posting anything here#but I haven't received any hate mail & haven't had any sort of callout like I was expecting#and I guess mallesil isn't really SUPER controversial#it's leaning off the gray area lately but it is still in the gray area#I just feel like I'm cheating with how easy it is to ''get away'' with having HEY I LIKE INCEST front and center on my pinned and all#when I've seen someone get reported off the map for making one singular post saying they don't mind people who ship child characters#and I've just gotten away with posting sooo many mallesil posts in the main tags lately I'm like huh??? Did I ever actually need to worry?#it's kind of embarrassing I guess having several things in my Posts That Do Not Go Into The Main Tags#that I'm just now realizing were probably totally fine to put out there lol#like damn maybe I can just talk about lilia kissing silver with tongue and get away with it????#anyway#while I am on the subject of things I am embarrassed about for no reason#I feel especially bad lately for not posting like ANYTHING about sebek or lilia most of the time lol#I made a point to draw all the twst characters at least once a while ago but I don't think I've actually drawn sebek more than that?#sorry sebek I love you sebek :(#sebesil is such a good ship and I just have absolutely zero passion for it I DON'T KNOW!!! It just isn't there for me!!!#I like it a lot I love all the ship art for it I like seeing it pop up in fics#but if you leave me to my own devices I'm. not going to think about them even a little probably lol...#I do think about mallesebe sometimes though. I wrote about them once for the request. they're so fun they're so awful#and yet. most of the thoughts I have for mallesebe I'm just like hrmmmm this could be mallesil instead#sorry again sebek I love you sebek 😭
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✧ I won’t really write descriptions for these, but see original post tags for explanation/commentary on the song snippet ✧
#This was literally just off the top of my head improvising words that rhyme (as is obvious from me rhyming the word#'on' with the word.... 'on' (what's going ON my name is ON' etc. lol) but after actually thinking about it this kind of seems a little#sinister?? why is his name on the news? why is he fleeing town? makes me think of of some guy who's killed#someone or is finally getting caught for his crimes so one last stop before he flees town is he returns home to his husband (who he#calls Hummingbird sometimes I guess) and is like 'erm... tee hee.. I can't tell you why but I shall leave. farewell' etc.#also 'I guess I could show you' having a bad implication like.. yeah I COULD show you the dead bodies and evidence of my crimes#but I will spare you from that and simply let you live in ignorance (at least until you see the news at 10.. but I will be long gone by#then.. eating green beans somewhere lol).. ANYWAY.. 100% unintentional but you could actually almost read some sort of meaning#out of this one. until the green beans part ghhbjb.. I try so hard for everything to just be meaningless gibberish#that has no connection but I suppose sometimes a connection can be made. alas.. a perhaps accidentally Dark seeming song snippet#OR alternate theory. uhh... actually his name is on the news for a good reason. he donated all his money to charity and now#he's fleeing town just because he's embarassed to be publicly recognized.. a shy philanthropist OR an evasive murderer#BOTH versions of him like green beans. which is the truth? up to listener interpretation lol.. Also I#still find it immensely funny for some reason to do this lower sounding style of singing. which not that I really care about like having a#Broad Range or something since I don't think it'd even be possible to have one in my position (as someone#with zero musical/vocial training/etc.) BUT because part of what I find fun is like.. experimenting with all different sorts of sounds#and also doing choir type stuff. So then I do want to be able to sound like multiple people.. if that makes sense? I want to have a really#high voice and the a really low voice and have them sing together and it sounds like a duet or something when it's really just one person.#etc. Thus have a passing interest in learning to adopt different singing styles if I can. because then that's funny and I can do a wider#variety of things like it's all different characters or something as if all the song snippets are done by different people or etc.#(maybe just part of the nature of it being experimental).#And the low voice is always the goofiest sounding to me and very 'fake' seeming I guess#like blatantly is just someone putting on an affect or whatever but still in a kind of fun jokey way lol#beepo tag
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finally got to watch scream 5 since 6 is now up for streaming worst experience of my life.
#🐇#that's sort of overdramatic....I didn't care for it#I liked some of the new characters. I think I liked more of them than disliked them which thank god#I just wish it was better idk what else to say. the dialogue was bad and not even in a good cheesy sort of way it just made me roll my eyes#like I really enjoy sam's character and I feel like she could be so much more than what she is like hopefully it improves in 6#the end monologue with richie and amber was just so bad my ears were like no.I refuse to hear this. and I just tuned out like ay caramba#sidney's scene at the end hunting down ghostface was probably one of my favorite scenes#like the sydney writing felt very close to the original and gale's lines felt very forced#like everything she said HAD to be sassy and a gotcha moment so...bleh#I appreciated the whole requel thing I just wish it had been executed better#I'm excited for six because it seems like they're trying to make things different and original and that's fun#like I wish they'd make a scream movie that's still ghostface but completely removed from sidney and woodsboro#I enjoyed the kills though they were fun the gore was fun so I'm excited for the kills in 6#I know I always keep reviews vague and rambly idk maybe I should write my thoughts in a google doc as I watch things lmao#just kind of annoying the thing of like people only liking the original with this franchise in particular#because I genuinely don't think any of the sequels come anywhere close to the original and the two ghostface killers in this were so#unimportant to me that I'll probably just forget about them like I do mickey#omg also vince??? a TRAGEDY he was killed off after 2 fucking minutes he was such an intriguing dude! and he was related to stu!#such a waste even with the premise I was so annoyed I literally blocked the memory of it lmao
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i hate the weird spot i have been when it comes about writing for the past months
#or maybe even a year at this point idfk. i cannot. write. or at least not multichaptered. i want to create an ongoing story#and write chapters and post them and shit!! but my motivation decays super fast regardless of how excited i am to write it.#i legit think is the reason i draw so much--- i have the need to create and a drawing tends to take me two hours and so. maybe three.#obviously it depends on the drawing but. that's the average. writing a single chapter can take me a week; or a long-ish one at least#there's another factor: i don't know who to write about. i try to resign myself to write fanfiction but it does not sparks joy anymore#*sometimes* it does tho. like the dumb wuthering heights saiou au i had in mind; it is fun to think about it.#but rn i have one plot i really like and i'm kind of. this does not fits any of my existing ocs either. what i am supposed to do with this.#and another one with elliot and a guy i created specifically for that story#because i resigned myself i don't have any existing characters to fit that role so i created some guy nate/devlin (name still pending)#but also. my own characters don't spark joy too unless i post it on discord or show it to friends bc nobody on my main platform cares.#and yes this is something i need to work on i'm going to therapy for that but i live off validation#and if people don't pay attention to my shit then i immediately lose motivation and i don't continue with it anymore#like; the one samael/mav story i was so excited to write about. nobody paid attention to it; so i shoved it to drafts#and didn't type a single word again. meanwhile i see the easy way to get attention is writing sa10u rn but. i don't want to.#i see people voting and commenting on my fics of these two and i try to think 'ok that's what people like i HAVE to write about them'#and maybe get a bit of faux-motivation but if i try to do it i end up unmotivated because. that's not what i want actually. so. i die.#negative#very fitting with my pfp
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