#i still need to write chapter 5 tho
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oh-no-its-bird · 4 months ago
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God now I am just obsessed with magical girl Izuna. It's living rent free in my head now. Thank you for this amazing concept!!!
I'm so glad that you like it!! Take a snippet from chapter 1 of the magical girl Izuna fic that's been marinating in my notes app as thanks for ur nice ask
Hikaku eyed the seat behind him, which he knew Izuna would have taken if he were here to do so. Which he wasn't. Because he was not currently here. His cousin had yet to show up, and Hikaku had to wonder if it was because he'd slept in or if he should be worried about getting off school and being tasked with helping to hide a body. Haha. That was a joke. ... ... Hikaku gave a little knock on the wood of his desk with his knuckles, just in case. One that seemed to immediately pay off when a tap at the window next to the empty seat sent him jumping. He leaned back, peering out the window and finding his cousin's grinning face staring right back at him through the glass. Quietly, Hikaku eased back into his seat and pressed his hands together in prayer. Dear lady Amaterasu, please save him from overconfident idiots with too much ego. Amen.
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dravidious · 5 months ago
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You're more amazing than an integer between 0 and 100
When I made my outline for my latest story I realized "Wait. The protagonist is just angry and miserable for like 75% of the story. This isn't fun. Oh no what do I do???" And then I remembered that the premise involves the protagonist being taken to a palace. With a wide variety of luxurious Things to enjoy. So that just kind of solved itself.
Protip: If your sub's bad mood is bothering you then simply give them a steak that's more expensive than their entire house.
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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Me being like "OK well 7.8k is a lot compared to the other chapters
.... ykno what I'm gonna do? Make it longer"
So Sentido chapter 5 is now 8.2k. Listen I wasn't entirely satisfied with the cutoff so I added to it.
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ghostlykax · 2 months ago
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You ever read something and go "I wonder what happens next" but it's your own writing....
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lokis-wager · 2 years ago
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We read your fanfic cause it's good and the small krateus fandom craves for food and your fic is a 5 stars meal
dude im ngl. I am pissed this ship is s small-ass fucking rarepair when its the fucking 2 main characters of the entire new games. Like jfc what is happening?
I didn't know jack or shit about GoW when I watched one entire review + part of a playthrough of GoW: R and I immediately guessed that Kratos/Atreus would have like. at least 100 fics on Ao3. You have no idea how fucking disappointed I am that there is not even 50 fics in the tag right now. Not even 50. What is happening? I was so angry that I had to start writing about it lmfao.
Fuck me, while we're at it, there's 2 works in Atreus/Thor? I think there's less than 15 in Atreus/Odin? 3 works for Baldur/Kratos? 1 fic for Brok/Kratos? What is happening in this fandom. We have so many fucking good characters that are being goddamn wasted! What are we even doing?
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lovecla · 25 days ago
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EAT YOU LIKE A PREY | luke hughes.
nhl masterlist, nsfw, @lovecla’s kinktober collection, single chapter:
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— pair: luke hughes x fmc (mila)
— synopsis: after finding out that her friend, the shy, cute luke hughes has a crush on her, mila decides that she will do anything to make him confess his feelings for her out loud. but what do people say about biting more than you can chew?
— word count: 4.3k
— chapter warnings: lowkey mean softdom!luke, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, size kink and degradation if you dig deep, p in v, fingering, squirting (not super detailed tho), edging, pet names, drinking (just a shot but,) dacryphilia.
from me to you: happy halloween, my loves 🤍 i have a few things to say today so buckle up. 1st of all, thank u so much for 400 followers and 10k likes! this means so much to me, and it’s not about the numbers but about people liking what i write— something that not even i do sometimes. 2nd, thank u all for all the compliments on my smut writing heheh i’m really trying to improve my skills so whenever u guys compliment me i’m like ૮₍˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶₎ა so thank u again. 3rd and last, this is just a single chapter but TM(HTMHC) chapter 5 is already in the making 🤍 this is a lot different from what i’m used to write but i hope it’s still good? lmk what u think 🐰
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LUKE HUGHES was the sweetest, most adorable guy you have ever met.
Falling for him wasn’t anything out of this world, you were just another person to fall in love with his wholesome personality, and even though you had certain advantages over the other girls— because you knew him personally— you never really did anything.
When Jack told you that Luke had a crush on you— yesterday, literally—, the first thought that came to your mind was: “How?”
He always acted sweet and shy around you, besides treating you with utmost respect and affection. He takes care of you whenever you need, he knows your favorite drinks and your favorite TV shows, knows that when you’re bored you like to watch Disney Channel’s cringe ass shows just to laugh at the actors’ lines.
So him, having a crush on you, wasn’t at all that much of a surprise.
The fact that he hadn’t done anything about it, though? Yeah. That was a big, unexpected surprise.
Now it was Thursday, and while you got ready in your room, and waited for your best friend, Suzy, to pick you up, you thought of ways of making Luke want to confess to you.
You wouldn’t be the one doing it first, no. You had too much pride for that, and with every reason. You were gorgeous, you didn’t need anyone to tell you that. You could say that you’re too much of a princess and you don’t like to run after boys, but in reality, it was just that all of the men you had relations with were just a bunch of assholes.
They wanted you to be the first to make a move, they wanted you to decide where you would have dinner, or what movie you would watch. And that just doesn’t work for you, at least not anymore. You want them to work for getting you, not the other way around.
But with Luke, things were different. You can’t just know that Luke Hughes has a crush on you and not do anything. So you would have to be smart, and make him want to tell you how he feels, without asking him to.
Is this some way of gaslighting?, you ask yourself, applying some more blush to your face, I don’t know. But it has to be done, I guess.
Suzy didn’t take long to get to your house, and you got inside her car, complementing her Snow White costume. Now, you’re even more glad that you spent hours trying to choose the perfect costume for Mercer’s party. Usually, you’d go for something that showed less skin and was more scary than slutty, but something told you that this year you needed a change; and if that change was shortening your skirt and wearing a corset that squeeze your tits and push them up higher, then so be it.
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“SOMEONE SHOULD’VE told me that Dawson was planning on throwing his Halloween party at a fucking haunted mansion.”
You laugh, getting out of the car and feeling the cold breeze hit your skin, the sight of the tall, dark house in front of you making you shiver.
The party was happening inside a huge mansion that looks like it had been abandoned for years even though you know it’s all just play pretend. The front of it is highly decorated with skeletons, coffins, trash and signs that read:
“YOUR FINAL STOP,” and “WELCOME TO YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.”
You thought it was all super funny, while Suzy whined beside you, and held your arm like her life depended on it. Entering the house after showing your ID and giving your name to the security guard at the front door, you saw that the interior is just as decorated as the outside, if not more.
“How much do you think Dawson spent on this?” You ask, genuinely curious.
Suzy started rambling about how he probably spent a lot of money and how there were thousands of people inside the mansion and how you were never going to find Jack or Nico or anyone for that matter because everyone were wearing costumes and makeup and—
“It’ll be fine,” you cut her off, shouting over the loud music. “I mean, are there hundreds of people here? Yes. Will we be able to find them? Very unlikely. But it’s fine, right?”
“I guess?” She cocks her head, her curls going everywhere. “Can we grab something to drink, though? You know I need my daily dose of beer…”
“You’re crazy. But yeah, we can.”
Moving through the sea of bodies, you greeted so many people that your head was starting to get tired. You didn’t even know all of them properly, but since Jack, Quinn and Luke knew so many people, and you were always with them, people said “hi” to you anyway.
Finding the drink section had been like finding an oasis in the middle of the desert, and while Suzy grabbed a can of beer, you had a shot of vodka before grabbing a non-alcoholic drink, wanting to be very aware of your actions through the night.
You got back to walking, listening to Suzy’s long complaints about how much time you spent talking with people she didn’t know and how she wanted to dance.
“Fuck, Mila, this is Drake!” She shouts, grabbing your hand and pulling you to the side, where a bunch of people were dancing.
“I was talking to Elliot, you know,” you shout, laughing.
“I don’t care, baby, this fucking song makes me want to go crazy and make out with you!” Suzy throws her arms up, jumping.
“Baby, that’s the alcohol speaking.” You smile, giving up and moving with the beat.
You need to get done, done, done, done at work, come over
We just need to slow the motion
Don't give that away to no one
Long distance, I need you
You danced with Suzy, not letting your mind think of Luke or anything else. Moving your hips was way easier when you didn’t have to worry about anything.
When I see potential I just gotta see it through
If you had a twin, I would still choose you
I don't wanna rush into it, if it's too soon
But I know you need to get done, done, done, done
Suzy’s hands caressed your body, as she goes to the floor, making you smile as she runs her hands through your bare legs, mouthing the lyrics to the song, singing Drake’s verse with a flirty tone. She got up and you turned around, laughing as you grind your ass on her, placing your hands on your knees and moving your hips while she held your waist, playfully.
I spilled all my emotions tonight, I'm sorry
Rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'
How many more shots until you're rollin'?
While you danced, and while Suzy sang to you and hugged you tight, you felt a weird sensation in your chest. You were constantly getting goosebumps, and the left side of your neck burned. But no matter how much you looked around, you couldn’t find anything weird.
You knew so many people there, you could see Nico, Cole, Matt; and yeah, some of the guys were watching you and Suzy dance but that’s just normal, expected behavior from men.
Until you saw him.
There, standing in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall and holding a typical American red cup, wearing a full black outfit and.
Was that a ghostface mask?
You couldn’t be sure of who was behind the mask, but for some reason, you couldn’t take your eyes off him— and it looked like neither could he. While you ground on Suzy and danced with her, you made eye contact with the mask, feeling the hair on your arm going up; the hotness that before only covered the left side of your neck, was now running down your body, making you feel warm all over.
Which is weird, so weird.
Suddenly, the lights are off, and now everyone’s screaming with excitement and exhilaration, making you jump slightly, trying to find Suzy’s body. Once you do, you shout at her— or at least at what you hope is her ear.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine!” She yells back, and you can tell that she’s having a lot of fun for someone who was just complaining about how scary the house looked. “This is so fun!”
“It is, yeah,” you reply, as they turn the lights back on, the music somehow louder and the people even more animated.
“We need to dance more and then,” she gets closer, biting her lips. “I’ll find someone to fuck me.”
“Jesus,” you roll your eyes. “You’re insane.”
“Maybe.”
You laughed before moving your body with the next song again, dancing for what felt like hours, but not as thoughtless as you were before, no. Now all you could think of was the man that stood in the corner of the room and that now wasn’t there anymore, vanished as soon as the lights were on again.
Even if you had already looked around the entire room and you were one hundred percent sure that that man wasn’t there anymore, you could feel his presence around you, making your skin crawl with need.
I’m fucked up. Probably.
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YOU DON’T know where Suzy is.
Sometime between dancing and drinking, she found someone and disappeared like she had never been here in the first place.
You were tired, and you wanted to go back home, but, unfortunately, Suzy was your ride, so you’d have to wait until she’s done to go back to your apartment.
Of course, you could always call a taxi, or even one of the people you knew, or maybe try to call Jack or even Luke—
Luke. You hadn’t thought about him since you arrived at the party, too worried about having fun to even think of doing anything else.
But he’s not here anyway, you find yourself pouting, standing in the middle of the huge, fancy bathroom and staring at yourself in the mirror. At least I don’t think so.
But Jack had told you that he would be there, and Jack could be many things, but a liar wasn’t one of them. So, Luke probably is here, just hiding in a corner, like he usually did, always the shy boy.
Corner. Man. Black outfit. Ghostface.
Right, you take a deep breath. I’ll try to find him. Maybe I’ll manage to kiss him before leaving.
The thought of kissing Luke motivated you to get past the ocean of people, looking for curly hair and thick thighs. It didn’t help that you didn’t know what he was wearing or who he was with, but you were determined.
You walked the entire first floor, feeling your legs burn with how many steps you had already taken, especially after wearing high heels for so many hours. Luke definitely wasn’t there, and you were starting to feel frustrated.
You went up the stairs, regretting almost immediately. Dawson didn’t just decorate the first floor and the outside of the mansion, but the second floor as well. And if you thought the first floor was bad, this was even worse.
It was empty, it looked worse than the fucking Haunted House at Disneyland, and it was creepy as fuck. You started walking down the hallway, looking around while wrapping your arms around your middle, listening to the muffled sounds from downstairs.
Why isn’t anyone up here?
You walk past closed doors, until you stop in front of the only open one. Curious, you get inside the room, finding out that it was some kind of office: a big, dark wooden desk sat in the middle of the room, with an expensive looking chair behind it, and tons of books decorating the bookshelves against the walls.
A couch decorated the corner, and so did a lamp and a coffee table. You were just about to leave and go back to the party when you saw it— there, laying on the couch, the mask from before.
You hold in a gasp, feeling the left side of your neck burning again.
He’s here, he’s here. He’s here and he knows I’m here too.
“Took you long enough, bunny.”
You let out a scream, turning around to face the same man from before, who was now standing right behind you.
“L-Luke,” breathing fast, you mumble his name. “God, you scared me.”
“Sorry. Not my intention.”
He walks inside the room, sitting beside the mask— his mask.
“It… it was you.” You whisper, eyeing his clothes. The exact same outfit the man who watched you dance with Suzy and made you feel hot all over was wearing.
“Me?” He cocks his head, like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.
“You,” you nod. “Downstairs. When I was dancing with Suzy.”
He stays quiet, not saying anything to confirm nor deny.
“Why didn’t you say anything? I’ve been looking for you for a while now.” You ask, confused.
“You looked like you were having so much fun,” there’s some kind of sarcasm in his tone, but you can’t really tell why. “I didn’t want to ruin your fun, that’s all.”
Usually, you’d just play around and tell him something funny. But you remembered what Jack said, and you also remembered that you had a plan. Make Luke Hughes confess his feelings for you.
Smiling and walking further inside the bedroom, you start your plan.
“You know you could never ruin my fun,” you say. “I missed you.”
He smirks, spreading his thighs on the couch.
“Yeah?” You nod. “I missed you too. You look cute with your little bunny outfit.”
You give him a little twirl, placing your hands on your hips. “D’you like it? I also think it looks great.”
He hums, before getting up, standing in front of you, his 6’2” figure making you feel small, even though you were 5’4” yourself.
“Why were you looking for me, Mila?”
His tone is so different from what you’re used to. He doesn’t sound sweet and adorable anymore, and for some reason, it has you intrigued. His eyes, looking darker with so little lighting in the room, staring down at you.
“I just wanted to see you. ‘Been a while, no?” Sweetening your voice to the max, you blink twice. “Perhaps we could, I don’t know, have some fun?”
His smile only widens at that, and just when you thought you were about to get what you want, his next words make you freeze.
“Do you think I’m dumb?”
You frown at his words, gulping.
“W-what do you mean?” You whisper.
“Bunny, bunny,” he clicks his tongue, stepping closer to you. “You think I don’t know what you’re doing?”
“I’m not doing anything—”
“I know Jack talked to you,” he whispers. “He isn’t exactly subtle. And I’ve seen you with boys before. You use those pretty, sweet eyes to make them fall for you, do whatever you want, beg for just a little bite. Am I wrong?”
You bite your lips, holding the hem of your skirt, looking for some kind of support. Luke’s breathy voice makes all of your tiredness leave your body.
“I asked you a question, cutie.”
“No,” you whisper. “You’re not wrong, Luke.”
The smile he gives you is brighter than the moon shining in the sky.
“I know I’m not, baby,” he gets closer, placing his large hand on your waist, on top of your corset. “So, if you want to have some fun with me,” he continues, using the same words you used not even five minutes ago. “It will have to be the way I want it to be, right?”
You nod with your head, scared that he would find out your underwear is slowly getting wetter and wetter.
He gives you a forehead kiss before stepping back, walking towards the door, letting you wonder if he was just being silly and was in fact leaving the room. Which he doesn’t, just closes the door and walks back at you, eyeing you like a wolf would look at a bunny.
Luke kissed you as if he was hungry, thirsty for something he could only get if he stuck your lips together. His hands, warm and large, encircled your waist and pushed you until your back hit the large bookshelf that decorated the wall of the office.
“Fuck,” Luke moans against your mouth. “I’ve been wanting to do this for so long.”
You wanted to tell him that you had too, but you didn’t even have time; Luke kissed you again, making you stand on your tiptoes, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, messing up the curls that decorated his head.
His mouth moved against yours, his lips sweet and soft, different from the way he kissed you: bruising and desperate, holding you so close that you feared, for a second, that the two of you would become one.
“I’m gonna fuck you,” he warns, his green eyes, now a darker shade, looking into yours and showing all the impure thoughts he was having. “I’m gonna fuck you hard against that table, Mila, and I swear to God I won’t stop. So, if you don’t want that, tell me now and I’ll take you home.”
“No,” you say, desperately and shamefully wet. “I need you.”
“I know you do,” he says, his voice full of malice. His hands roam your body, touching only the top of your breasts, not lingering on them for more than a minute.
Then, Luke’s hands find the middle of your legs, and you close your eyes, embarrassed that he would now know how turned on you were.
You can hear Luke’s ragged breathing as he pulls the wet fabric of your panties up, making you moan as the fabric touches your clit, splitting your two outer labia.
“You’re so wet, bunny,” He murmurs against your skin, playing with the thin and—now—soaked fabric of your panties. “I bet I don’t even have to prep you before slamming my dick into you with how sloppy you probably are.”
You moan loudly, feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment.
“Luke—”
Your speech is cut off when he shoves your panties to the side and thrusts two fingers inside you, thrusting them with urgency and need.
“I knew it,” he chuckles. “So. Fucking. Loose.”
You grip his arm, feeling wetter than you had ever felt in your life. Luke had always been sweet and loving, and you loved that face of his. But this? This is so much better.
Two of his fingers were moving in and out quickly, while his thumb was touching your clit quickly, making you see stars. The wet sounds filled the room and made you close your eyes in shame.
The weight of Luke's body on yours was comfortable and overwhelming at the same time, the height difference only making you feel even more like prey that had just been captured.
“Luke, fuck.”
“It’s a shame that a cute bunny like you has such a dirty mouth,” he makes a tsc sound with his tongue, not once stopping moving his fingers. “Did no one teach you manners?”
You shake your head, moaning loudly and forgetting that the door wasn’t locked, and that there was a party going on downstairs, with hundreds of people who at any moment could open the door and see the obscenity happening in front of them.
“I’m gonna come, Luke, please, I will—”
Tears immediately form in your eyes when Luke suddenly removes his fingers from inside you. “What? Why did you stop?” You sob.
“Because I wanted to.” He simply says, kissing your cheek, the sweetness of his act contrasting with the harshness of his words.
He comes closer again, running both hands behind your thighs, picking you up with ease. Then, he walks towards the table in the middle of the room, stopping in front of it and placing you on the floor gently.
He kisses you again, biting your lips right after.
“Turn around, cutie,” he smiles, before unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down along with his underwear, making you sigh.
Luke is big. Like, bigger than any of the guys you’ve been with before, probably thicker too.
“What?” He smirks. “Did the little bunny bite off more than she can chew?”
Gulping, you shake your head. “Y-you’re… big.”
“Mhm,” he shamelessly grabs his cock, stroking the head a few times, spreading the precum all over his length, as you watch with awe, his hand size matching his dick. “Think you can take it?”
Even though your brain screamed for you to run and hide, your the unstoppable throbbing between your legs was too hard to ignore.
“Yes, but… even if I can’t,” you tilt your head up, staring at his lustful eyes. “You’ll make me, right?”
“Smart, smart bunny.”
He kisses you again before turning your body around, placing your hands on the table and lifting your skirt. You can feel him removing your panties as he spreads your legs wide with his feet.
He runs his cock over your lips for a few seconds, the wet sounds echoing off the walls of the room, and when he finally enters, it’s like everything you’ve been searching for finally makes sense.
“Holy fuck, Mila,” he groans, resting his torso against your back.
He doesn’t wait for you to adjust before pulling his entire length out of you and putting it back in, thrusting hard and precisely. Your hands grip the wood beneath your fingers tightly, and your eyes meet the back of your head.
You can feel the tears decorating your face, as Luke grips your waist with an incredible force and pushes his cock hard inside you, moaning loudly.
“You’re so fucking wet, baby,” he says, and you bite your lips, holding back a loud moan. “You’re getting my dick so wet.”
“Luke.”
You didn’t care about anything anymore. All you wanted was to cum, and preferably on his fingers.
He seemed to have heard your thoughts, as it didn't take him long to support one of your legs on the table, entering even deeper inside you, hitting places no one had ever hit before. Then, moving his fingers over your engorged clit, he rubbed it mercilessly, your orgasm building faster, since he edged you not even ten minutes ago.
“Luke,” you sob, calling out his name. “I’m gonna come.”
“Are you going to make a mess?”
“I-I don’t know—”
“Then hold it,” he says, as he applies even more pressure on your sensitive nub, slamming his dick deeper onto your g-spot.
“I can’t, I need to—”
“Baby, you’re not the one in charge here,” his voice is soft, gentle and calming— it didn't stop your tears, though. “If you’re not gonna make a mess, then why should I bother letting you come anyway?”
“Please, Luke, please,” you hiccup, feeling some pieces of the wood get under your nails with how hard you were scratching the table.
“Make a mess, Mila. That’s the only way you’re coming tonight.”
You’re dizzy. Your head is empty and you only need to let Luke ruin you, and everything you believe. When you finally reach your peak, you come, wetting his fingers, your thighs and the table, but none of that is enough for the curly haired boy behind you.
He keeps rubbing you, biting your neck, fucking you into pure oblivion, overwhelming you to the max. And when you feel himself pulling away, you shake your head, crying louder and clenching your hole around his dick.
He hisses. “Mila.”
“No,” you cry. “Inside— ah, please.”
“You’ll drive me insane,” he jokes, but there isn't a hint of playfulness in his tone. He keeps slamming inside you, until he finally comes, painting your insides white with his release.
It’s dirty, raw and human. It’s oddly comforting and overwhelming at the same time; it’s maddening.
People have been put in mental institutions for feeling much less than you right now.
“Mila.”
Luke’s voice is far, and as you rest your forehead against the cold wood of the table, you can feel him pulling away from you.
“Bunny?”
You feel his hand on your hair, and you can feel his presence everywhere. Wiping your cheeks, cleaning your thighs with his shirt, putting your underwear back on, pulling your skirt down. You can feel his warm, burning body behind you as he gets you up and rests your back against his toned abs, kissing your neck gently.
“Hey,” he whispers, and you can tell he’s trying so hard not to freak you out. “Mila, baby.”
“‘Gimme a minute,” you whisper, smelling his perfume, a mix of sandalwood and patchouli.
He lets out a quiet laugh, caressing your thigh with the same hands that held you so strongly not even five minutes ago.
“Do you want to sit?”
“I don’t think I can move my legs right now,” You chuckle, and he hums, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you up again, walking you to the couch, laying down with you on top of him. “Feels nice.”
“I know,” he hums back. “Listen, I’m so—”
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry,” you ask, closing your eyes. “I wanted this.”
“I wasn’t going to apologize for fucking you,” he laughs, and you feel his chest moving under you. “I was going to apologize for not telling you sooner.”
“Telling me what?”
“That I like you.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” he kisses your temple. “I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner. I guess I was just scared.”
Now he sounded like the boy you knew.
“Same. I like you too much to screw things up.” You confess, feeling your cheeks burn.
“Well, that’s good to know.”
You snuggle closer to his body, ignoring the wet clothes and the fact that there was a party happening downstairs, and that Suzy was probably looking for you.
But it was fine. You could deal with her tomorrow.
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manicpixiefelix · 11 months ago
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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}
Part 4.
Summary: While Oliver may struggle to fit into your group of friends as a whole, he seems to fit perfectly by you and Felix's sides. Farleigh grows more unhappy with this arrangement as the weeks go on, and finally Felix has enough of his attitude towards you, and you accidentally overhear. Upset at both Farleigh's attitude and how Felix had to fight with him on your behalf, Felix spends the rest of the night making sure you know just how much you're worth.
{ masterpost }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: drinking/intoxication, smut but somehow i managed to still write around the reader's AGAB??? still explicit tho (reader bottoming), and 'dog' being used to demean the reader once.
A/N: 3825 words. it hasn't been even 24 hours since the last chapter. im making good time lol. i promise there will be a lot more oliver in the future (i already have part of chapter 5 that is VERY reader/oliver) but this is an especially Felix/Reader chapter. i know its kind of going slow, we're still only in the first bit of oxford, but it will pick up, i just like really getting into the character interactions. as always, this is unedited, and i'd love any feedback you may have!!
Taglist: @strangemaximoff @renaissance-mama @tsach @malscorner @xhoneymoonx134 @yelchinweasleylothbrok @tarriea @florencediet @butitsbetterifyoudoittoem @belladonnadarksshade @fandom-multiamory @snazzynacho @jubileexoxo @soocore @be-lla-vie @nightingale2124 @willow-sages @null4ndv0id @gracieluvthemoon @day2dream @marvellover98 @navixfr @bitxhinthecomments @daintylovers @alesunsets @noturningbacknow @d0llysposts @alilcloudy @callsignwidow @moviequotes23 @325575 @bonnieblue0606 @osoqueen125 @hot-dino-nuggies @darkness-falls-xo @mattymurderdocks @flowerecs @weepingwitchofthewest @ilovemydinoboi @marsmallow433 @king0flies @cashtons-wife @jessicascharacterbananza @gossvedd
TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
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Oliver, by nature, does not appear to be an incredibly tactile individual. Getting shitfaced at your first proper meeting at the pub aside, and not counting the nights he joins you all at the club, he seems perfectly gentle and demure, always taking up as little space as possible, never really reaching out for another person unless they make the first move.
Except with you.
It's never overt, nothing about Oliver is ever overt, he's not throwing his arms around you every time he sees you like Felix, not tucking himself close to you as you all walk to the pub the way the girls of the group liked to do, nor is he leaning on you and treating you like furniture the way Farleigh liked to expression his familiarity. It was small, constant contact. Sitting too close in a booth, knees knocking under the table, shoulder checking you at the bar and staying that close as you both wait for your drinks, studying together in the library, sitting across from one another and his leg sticks out under the table, his ankle reaching yours.
For you it's normal, honestly it's a little toned-down from what you're used to, but there's always something in his eyes when he first makes contact, like he wants to memorise your reaction. Oliver is always memorising, always watching, always observing. There's something almost voyeuristic about his company in those quiet moments, but you're used to being watched, you're used to putting on a show, so you find yourself matching his energy, giving a coy smile when you meet his unreadable gaze. Underneath the table you'll press your ankle back against his, or knock your knee against his with purpose, or lean against his at the bar, acknowledge the contact, relish in it for the moment.
Felix, however, is the king of overt, and has never in his life waited for someone else to reach out for him. Every chance he has he'll pour his focus and attention onto Oliver. The more he learns about Oliver, the more insistent he seems to have him around, even if the rest of the friend group is less than enthusiastic. None of them would ever say as much to Felix, except of course Farleigh, but Felix grows ever more protective of Oliver, and Farleigh learns to keep his mouth shut in the end.
It takes you a long while to see the difference, actually it takes you a long while to realise there even was one. But there was. For all Oliver would orbit around Felix, looking at him like he hung the stars in the sky, he didn't touch Felix unless Felix touched him first. Call it reverence or respect, you just remember the way he'd shrunk away from Felix's bike when you'd first met him, how he'd shrunk away from your handshake after he'd dropped it, always weighing up every decision, never leaping without calculating the risks. He'd rather be touched than reach out and get rejected.
When you finally realise this, that feeling from the pub hits you again, sharp, bright, and intrigued. Everything's already warm and a bit fuzzy, the two of you sitting on Felix's bed, back to the wall, sharing a bottle of orange juice that's also half vodka, pregaming for a party and waiting for Felix to get out of the shower. If this were anyone else, chatter would be flowing brightly between you both, but you'd found early on that you settle into comfortable silence well beside Oliver. The CD player is playing that pop punk CD Annabel leant Felix last week, and Oliver is focused on playing with the rips in the knees of your jeans. He's always a little more bold, a little more tactile when he's drunk, he'll dance with you, will sit with an arm around you or on your knee, but its taken you until now to realise that you've never seen him really do that by his own choice with anyone else, even while drunk.
"Ollie, Ollie, Ollie~" you practically sing his name softly, affectionately, and when he hums in acknowledgement, looking up from your jeans, you lean your chin on your shoulder with a coy little smile, almost nose to nose with him.
"Sorry should I not be -?" He glances to your knee once more, but you snort a laugh and shift your leg to lay it out across both of his. You take another long swig of the juice, and feel his hand fidgeting once more against your knee.
"You make me feel all special, Ollie," you laughed, tipping your head against his, and he once again goes still, "I don't want to treat you like a horse but you do have to stop being so skittish," comes out without you even properly meaning it to, and suddenly Ollie's half spluttering through apologies and explainations.
"I can't- I can't help it, you just kind of say things that catch me off guard, I don't mean to -" this time his fidgeting has a more nervous energy, and you carefully put your hand on his to settle him.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that," taking a deep breath, you try and organise your thoughts, "that was mean of me, I'm too used to people without much of a filter."
While Oliver is quiet, doesn't quite feel the need to speak, he does flip his hand around and lace his fingers with yours. Both of you look at your joined hands for a long moment.
"I like being next to you," you tell him with quiet sincerity, "and I like that you want to be next to me."
"Everyone wants to be next to you," Oliver says softly, and out of the corner of your eye you see him turn to look at you, "I just feel lucky that you keep saving space for me here." You give his hand a squeeze, terrified to meet his gaze, terrified of what you might see in the way he looks at you.
This moment overwhelms you, thrills you, makes your chest hurt in a way that's so unfamiliar. The idea of Oliver looking at you, seeing you for all you are outside of Felix's shadow, for wanting to be close despite that - you take another drink.
The shower turns off, and the two of you fall back into silence, sharing the drink as you hear Felix scuffle about the bathroom getting dressed. When he emerges only wearing jeans, towel drying his hair, you wolf whistle at him with the biggest grin just to see him blush. Lobbing the towel at you both, he leans across the bed to take the bottle of juice from Oliver, taking a few long chugs before passing it back.
For a moment, his eyes linger on your still-joined hands, and he smirks as he turns to his wardrobe.
"You two look cute."
"I'm stealing your new best friend," you announce with a shit-eating grin, bringing your joined hands up to your chest, and Felix throws an amused look at you over his shoulder as Oliver ducks his head, unable to his hide own abashed smile.
"Oh it's like that, is it? You'd let yourself be stolen so easily, Ollie?" Felix teased, pulling out a flattering button-down for himself to wear, turning back expectantly. Oliver flushes, looking back and forth for a long moment between yourself and Felix, who was slowly sauntering over to the bed. There's something in his eyes, that look he got when he was carefully evaluating what to say next without trying to look like he was thinking too hard, but it was gone once he settled on Felix.
"It's Y/N, can you really blame me?"
Oh, he's good. Something lights up in Felix's eyes as his gaze darts back and forth between the two of you, something adoring and amused in equal measure. Felix has always held a very high opinion of you, and just as you found joy in his happiness, so did he find joy in yours; he had never been shy about how he loved when others truly adored you, since he thought everyone should. Still, it wasn't something he tended to broadcast the way you wore your loyalty to him on your sleeve. Oliver was very good.
"I actually can't even argue with that," Felix's voice has a kind of softness to it that most people will never hear, but you know it, and there's something about how he's letting Oliver hear it to that warms your heart.
There moment breaks as the CD finishes and Felix starts hunting for his socks, declaring that he should be ready to go in only a few more minutes.
The change after that is less gradual. Of course you're still social and integrating yourself with the whole group, still playing your role in the group dynamic, offering affection and yourself without hesitation, just as Felix did too, but the two of you always make room for Oliver too. He's easing into it more, talking, laughing, reacting and seeming to live more outside of his head. Still, there's a divide in the group, there's something that makes the others hold back, something that means they can't quite understand the affection you and Felix have for the newcomer. Farleigh is a lost cause.
Farleigh can only seem to bring himself to be condescending and bitchy to you when he's sober, and outright won't speak to you while intoxicated.
"The fuck is your problem with Y/N?" You're pretty sure you weren't mean to hear Felix confront Farleigh by the bathroom of the club.
"Don't know what you're talking about," Farleigh snaps, but then you hear a scuffle and thud, and ducking your head quickly around the corner you see Felix holding Farleigh to the wall by his collar. There's a strange sensation in your gut at the sight, knowing his anger was on your behalf, but you didn't want to get caught, and pressed yourself back to the wall.
"My problem is with Oliver," Farleigh hisses, "you both know that, but you don't fucking care."
"Then treat me like dirt, not them."
"Nothing I could say would ever stop you from doing what you want, or who you want, cousin," you hear the sneer in Farleigh's voice, and feel your stomach sink, "but -"
"But what? You expected- expected what? Better from Y/N?"
Farleigh's silence speaks volumes. Once more you peak around the corner and see Felix shove himself away from Farleigh, who simply straightens his shirt, standing tall.
"The fuck do you want me to say?" Finally, Farleigh snaps, "congrats, Felix, you got your dog a dog, and now I can't look at either of you without that freak hanging around like a fruit fly."
"Fuck off," Felix sounds like he's about to be sick. Farleigh obligingly fucks off, and you have to take a long moment, head tipped back against the wall as you fight back tears in your heightened, intoxicated state. While you know you should leave, shouldn't be caught eavesdropping, you can't bring yourself to move fast enough, and Felix rounds the corner, walking almost directly into you.
"Y/N -!" He's clearly forcing a smile for the half second that it takes him to register that it's you, but then he sees your expression, the tears in your eyes, and his face falls, "you okay? What- what's-?" While you press your lips into a thin line, trying not to give anything away, he glances over his shoulders and he's quick to connect the dots, "you heard?"
"I'm sorry, Fi," your voice trembles, and immediately he's wrapping you up in a tight hug, "I don't like making Farleigh mad at you," you sniffle, clutching his sweater tightly.
"Farleigh's being an asshole, that's not on you," Felix's voice leaves no room for disagreement, but still he rubs circles into your back, "that's never your fault."
Its Felix who suggests the two of you head home for the night, but you're glad he knows you well enough to intuit that was what you'd wanted anyways. The two of you say your goodbyes for the night, putting on a happy face, thankfully obscured by the haze and neon lights and highs of your various friends. Farleigh seems to be avoiding you both, so it's only Oliver who seems to want to cling, just a little, as you say goodbye.
Somehow you know he's the only one who can see the truth of your mood in your eyes. He hugs a little longer than usual, still holding you tightly when Felix reminds him about lunch between the two of them the following day. Oliver nods before he steps back, but he doesn't entirely let go. For a moment he looks between you and Felix, you already reaching back for Felix, who takes a hold of your wrist, and then Oliver quickly takes your face and kisses your forehead quickly.
"Get back safe, alright?" He insists with a resolute nod. Both you and Felix manage a genuine smile at that, and finally head from the club.
At first, the walk back to the dorms is quiet; your own mood is low, but there's something about Felix that you don't realise until he starts to fume.
"Can you believe he'd talk about you like that?"
"What?"
"Farleigh; where the fuck does he get off talking like that? Fucking entitled." It's fury, radiating off of him in waves. His intensity surprises you, but your heart's not beating faster out of any kind of fear, "he should know better."
"Felix -"
"I don't care if he's my cousin, he -" and he stops dead, finally turning to look at you. In an instant, seeing the wide-eyed, almost awed love you were looking at him with, all his fury seemed to disappear. Still, there was intensity as he stepped up to you, wrapped one arm around your waist as he cupped your jaw, "he made you cry," the anger was faint but still audible, his thumb running gently over your cheek, where you had wiped the tears away not ten minutes ago, "I never want anyone to do that ever again."
Felix knows how to make you feel good, has had years of practice, but tonight he dedicates every ounce of focus he still has to that cause. It's been a long time since he's properly taken his time with you like this; there's been a lot of quickies, or drunk, sloppy sex when neither of you want to hook up with someone else, messy handjobs in janitor's closets between classes simply because you were bored and liked the thrill of it, or giving each other head in the bathroom of the club or pub when the other loses an arbitrary bet. But the way he worships you is something that only happens when he's feeling especially sappy.
When his mouth isn't on you - kissing, sucking, biting - he's lavishing you with praise until it almost becomes righteous, and his nails dig in and he's losing himself in you and babbling about how anyone who even got to fucking look at you should be grateful.
"Fi -" you gasp, hand coming up to muffle yourself as he's got you to the point of speechless. But he stops, cock deep inside of you, hips pressed flush to yours as you have your legs wrapped around his waist. You groan and whimper and try rolling your hips to create more friction, but his grin is wide as he leans down over you.
"Come on, no, don't do that," he practically purrs, taking your hand, pinning your wrist to the bed next to your head, pinning the other in just the same way so he was braced over you, "I want everyone to hear how you sound when someone's making you feel good." He starts to move again now, slow this time, while this new angle has your thighs splayed somehow further open, all new moans of pleasure escaping you now. Felix looks pleased, face close enough to yours that you're practically panting and moaning into his mouth as he delights at the way he's making you feel.
One of your favourite things about fucking Felix is that he is consistently Felix, which is that he very rarely shuts up, which is fantastic because you love hearing his voice. The praise and love he lays on you this night is interspersed with the way he always is during sex, chatty, always checking in, somehow making casual and curious sound like the hottest things in the world. Even when you're past the point of words and his head is between your thighs, he'll have two fingers inside of you and -
"This alright?" He knows the answer because he knows you, but you've always been endeared by it. Still, you make a breathy noise of confirmation, and you hear his voice drop to something low and firmer, "words, Y/N." God, fuck, the things that voice does to you when he uses it.
"Yes, oh god, Fi, it's good, it's good, it's good -"
You can feel his pleased chuckle as his mouth is back on your tender skin.
Dawn is breaking beyond his window, through the curtains neither of you had bothered to close all night, when you both finally concede, feeling thoroughly satisfied and spent.
"I know you don't like me getting into scraps on your behalf -" Felix, laying out on his back, easy smile on his face as he looks to you, begins.
"Or ever," you roll your eyes, but turn to lay on your side, facing him, unable to stop smiling yourself. Felix chuckles.
"Fine, sure, but," and he wets his lips, his gaze softening for a moment as his eyes meet yours, "I'm never going to sit by and let someone chat shit about you, you know that, right?"
After a long moment of deliberation, you finally admitted -
"I got a girl expelled because of how she was talking about you," you blurted out. Immediately Felix's eyes went wide. He shot up, sitting dead straight and looking back at you.
"You what?!"
"I don't get into scraps like you, but what she was saying was fucking vulgar, and I asked her to stop but she started making these awful, gross comments about how she was going to baby trap you and you'd be too stupid to know, and- and-" you flipped to lay on your back, fidgeting as you recounted the details. Felix was watching you, but you couldn't quite figure out what the look on his face meant, though perhaps he was simply processing it all, "and so I paid someone to plant a whole load of illegal shit in her room and called campus authorities."
Quiet suddenly filled the room, and slowly Felix looked away, choosing to simply stare at his hands.
"The only reason I don't like you getting into scraps is because I just don't want you to get hurt; it actually means so much to me that you care enough to defend me, you know? I'm not a hypocrite, I just worry about you," you tried to laugh, but it sounded lame in the quiet.
"You got a girl expelled for me," surprisingly, you can hear the grin in Felix's words. When he turns back with an incredulous laugh, relief floods through you. In an instant he's pitched himself practically on top of you, peppering your face, neck, and chest with kisses, "you're fucking diabolical, I'm so glad you're on my side!"
Eventually the two of you manage to get to sleep, though it's not nearly enough, as a knock comes at the door at around eleven. Both you and Felix groan, but he insists that you stay in bed.
"Be there in a sec," he calls to the door. After sourcing some boxers, he opens the door just a crack, and you can hear Farleigh on the other side.
"I was a dick."
"You were," Felix agrees.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all that."
"No you shouldn't have."
"So are we good?"
"I don't know why you're apologising to me," you can hear the passive-aggressive lightness in Felix's tone, and Farleigh sounds confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Of course you know what I mean, Farleigh."
Then, a long sigh from Farleigh, and quietly, almost too quiet to hear it, you hear him ask if Felix knows where you are. You can almost picture the smug smile on your best friend's face as he steps aside and opens the door wide enough to reveal you, in his bed, still mostly asleep.
"Morning..." Farleigh says awkwardly.
"Morning, Farleigh," you yawned loudly.
"I..." he started, looking deeply uncomfortable; Felix had to prompt him to continue, "am sorry for treating you like shit these past few weeks. I don't like Oliver, that's," he sighed, unable to look you in the eyes, "not your fault."
"It's not my fault but you're making it my problem," you tell him bluntly, to which he scowls, "I love you, I have loved you for years, I do not love you less because of Oliver; your jealousy is childish."
"Fine," Farleigh rolls his eyes, "I'll temper my urge to vomit at the sight of him and his poor attempts to fit in whenever you're around- either of you are around."
"We appreciate the sacrifice," Felix rolls his eyes, sarcasm all but dripping from his words. Still, you accept the apology and tension between the three of you seem to ease as the conversation comes to an end. Felix throws himself back down on the bed with a grunt, half laying on you.
"What time is it?" He voice is muffled against the mattress, so you glance at his alarm clock.
"Eleven fifteen."
Another groan from Felix, but he still doesn't move. Slowly, he crawls to a more dignified position, and back under the covers beside you. He wraps am arm around you, pulling you in close so your back was flush against him, his breath warm on the back of your neck.
"Fifteen minutes and I'll leap out of bed with enthusiasm," he says in the absolutely least convincing manner, tucking himself as close to you as possible, "I got lunch with Ollie at the pub."
"That should be nice," you yawn, and rest your hand on his where it's warm against your bare stomach.
"Gotta have a shower, get dressed, figure out if I'm biking or walking," he's mumbling mostly to himself, voice drifting off.
"I'd join your shower but I plan to sleep here until Monday."
"I'll probably join you when I get back."
It's a comforting thought, and you let out a contented hum, before finally adding before you drift off.
"Give Ollie my love when you see him, won't you?" And as your asking, Felix presses a kiss to your shoulder.
"Of course."
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wangxianficfinder · 8 months ago
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Fic Finder
March 23rd
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1. Hi. Looking for this fic wherein wwx tried to prank lqr and the elders by acting like a Lan. It backfired because they thought wwx was possessed by Lan An, especially when jwy visited cloud recesses (almost causes a war between jiang and lan). For it to end, wwx pretended to be Lan An and said goodbye then fake fainted (as if Lan An left wwx’s body)
please help me find it 🙏
Hi! I’m from the recent fic finder #1. Unfortunately that’s not what i’m looking for because I remember it being post canon (meaning wangxian are already married). I also remember the Lans asked lwj if lwj still do lovers stuff with wwx (as they really thought wwx was possessed by lan an)
FOUND? Wei Wuxian is Definitely Not Possessed by CursedBlessing (T, 20k, WangXian, Misunderstandings, General Dumbassery, Humor)
#1 I think was deleted. I know the fic they're asking about and I can't find it either.
Number 1 is the correct fic, it's just Chapter 3. / Yeah, 1 IS the correct fic, op's scene is the entirety of ch. 3
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2. Hey, I'm looking for a wangxianfic, in which wei ying and lan zhan are already married. Wei ying goes on a night hunt with the juniors and gets hurt. I think it was a cut on the stomach with poison. Lan zhan cares for him but wei ying is almost dying. Lan zhan is davasteted and says that he can't wait for wei ying again. It was a completed work and I think just 4 chapters. Please can you find the title? With kind regards @smarti1997
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3. I'm not sure if this is something I think happened in a fic, or it really exists, but on the off-chance someone know what I'm talking about - the Sunshot Campaign ends differently with Wen Qing/Wen Ning in charge of the Qishan Wen, and as part of reparations(? Maybe?) the family vaults are revealed. Wen Qing warns people not to touch anything but JGS is too greedy and grabs something and dissolves in dust? And then WQ opens the real vault, the first was to stop thieves. Thank you in advance! @katonahottinroof
I know which fic #3 is talking about but i cannot find it either, gonna go deep dive on ao3 tho (is it that one where the wens have a secret passage into the throne room that opens only with wen blood isnt it. unless im mixing fics too)
FOUND! ❤️ Gentians in bloom by teawater (M, 251k, WangXian, XiQing, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Political Marriage, Dysfunctional Family, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, LQR bashing (not really), POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Eventual Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, madam yu bashing (again not completely), MXY Deserves Better) the thing with jgs happen in chapter 34
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4. Hi writing in hopes that someone remembers this fanfiction.:
i once read a fic where LWJ and WWX were stuck in the Xuanwu cave and WWX was i think on the verge of dying but then something emerges from the waters and gives LWJ a deal that if he gives up his voices then as an exchange he can save WWX's life which LWJ obviously does so his voice goes away but by the end of the fic Wangxian go back to the cave where LWJ gets his voice back because he once again strikes a deal with that creature giving up his immortality or something that has to do with him being worshipped for gaining his voice back. was a one shot that i remember clearly and was on ao3 platform also thank you so much cause this blog has bought me my favorite Wangxian fics.
FOUND! Outside Another Yellow Moon by Vamillepudding (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Fairy Tale Elements, Hurt/Comfort, LWJ Needs a Hug, Curse Breaking)
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5. help. hey i am certain the fanfics in my memories exist but they keep on eluding me so there are these 2 fics:
A) the premise of this story was time travel where modern WWX travels back in time when other WWX is living with the wens in the burial mounds when LWJ comes to the borders with his modern counterpart and when modern wangxian meet they have a sweet reunion in which they share a kiss after that they are joined by the hip much to the mortification of OG wangxian. WY's parents are dead (car accident) but madam Lan's alive and he calls her mother or mom and modern them is engaged they also have their phones by which they click a photo and after coming to modern world WY sees that as proof that it actually happened. read it on ao3 muti chaptered (completed) with either 4 or 6 chapters 6 being maximum
B) in this one the main Lan fam is captured body swap between WRH and LWJ occurs and after LWJ realizes what has happen he commands that his body's head be severed which is currently housing WRH's soul and LXC and LQR are present to see that happening and grieve over LWJ not knowing WRH was the one who died and LWJ doesn't inform them about the body swap but tells the guards to take LXC and LQR to their rooms he keeps his own body's severed head in his room also. LWJ asks guards to bring him WWX which they do but injured and WWX sees LWJ's severed head and gets angry he also practices to be more like WRH so nobody suspects this is the most clear i remember there were also i think one appearance of WQ and some from WX and WC was on ao3 ongoing atleast when i was reading think over 5 chapter but under 10 the last i had checked (i was so curios to know what happens next but i lost the fic)
thx and sorry if its too confusing
5B)
FOUND? where the sky begins by Shializaro (Not Rated, 17k, WangXian, Bodyswap, Blood and Violence, Body Dysphoria, Dissociation, Rape/Non-con Elements, Crack Treated Seriously)
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6. Hello! This is for ficfinder, I have lost track of two fics, and would very much like assistance finding them again!
A ) an Addams family style modern au. I cannot remember the title, but Lan Wangji enjoyed the taste of Hemlock tea, Wei Wuxian always dressed in gothic clothes, A-Yuan keeps getting possessed, Wen Ning would die temporarily every now and then then, and the reason Lan Wangji went to Yiling in the first place was to find his mother (madam lan is alive in this one).
B ) Young Prince Lan Wangji fled the palace to avoid an arranged marriage, and met an older Wei Wuxian and traveled with him, keeping his identity a secret. Lan Zichen catches up with them after Wangxian have spent the night together (bottom LWJ), and Lan Zhan is taken back to the palace. Wei Wuxian returns to claim his hand, revealing himself as Baoshan Sanren’s heir. Fix ends with them watching their kids play in Lan Zhan’s mother’s garden.
If you can help me find these, I would appreciate it very much!!!! ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ @cullen-blue23
6A)
NOT FOUND🔒The Altogether Ooky WangXian Family by FluffyHippogriff (T, 72k, WIP, WangXian, 3Zun, Modern AU, Addams Family AU, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, mostly because death can be overcome with the help of a little necromancy, Kid Fic, Comedy)
FOUND! lovely thorns and singing crows by isabilightwood (E, 37k WangXian, Modern AU, Addams Family Vibes, meet cute at a funeral, Madam Lán Lives, Light Horror, Curses, Possession, Fluff and Humor, Developing Relationship, Found Family, Weirdo4weirdo wangxian, Eventual Smut, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs)
NOT FOUND🔒darkness there and nothing more by wvlfqveen (M, 21k, WangXian, Addams Family Fusion, Magical Realism, Body Horror, Addams Family Levels of Violence, Identity Issues)
6B)
FOUND! Beyond These Walls, the Heart Calls by wayward_wing (E, 13k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Fluff and Smut, Adventure & Romance, Prince LWJ, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Jealous WWX, LWJ Flirts, Sleeping Together, Masturbation, Slight Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, eating ass, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, Getting Together, Naive LWJ)
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7. Hi. I've been trying to find this Untamed fanfic which I bookmarked but somehow is not in my bookmarked collection anymore! :(. I think it's post-canon but WWX (of course) is injured and LWJ is helping him recover, told from LWJ perspective totally in-character where he has to remind himself to breathe. Once,wj returned to inn room, found WWX gone from the 2nd bed and he tripped over his own feet and was "resigned to the fall". Once he tucked WWX into his bed and sat at his desk to breathe.
FOUND? Always Light My Way by cqlorphan (E, 27k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Friends With Benefits, to lovers, wherein dual cultivation may be counted as a benefit, Jealous WWX, a little bit, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, angsty sex, Switch WangXian, Bottom LWJ, Service Top LWJ, Topping from the Bottom, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Coming Untouched, Dom/sub Undertones, the angsty sex happens in the beginning but they get past it dw, Oblivious LWJ, archer wwx, Smart WWX, Porn with Feelings, probably at least half of this fic is just that, Panic Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dual Cultivation)
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8. thank you again for this wonderful blog! loading up on fics for my next offline trip and i have one that is driving me nuts. I remember seeing the reference here awhile back but for some idiot reason didn't bookmark it. What I remember is something like this : its after canon - Wei Ying is back, its after Guanyin's temple - but Lan Zhan has a soulmate to get back to so leaves Wei Ying alone on the road. that scene in Untamed haunted me. does this ring any bells? appreciate any help!! @oldoni
FOUND! Boy Trouble, We've Got Double by saltyfeathers (E, 60k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Case Fic, betrothed to someone else, unfurling of wifexian scrolls: the fic, Pining, Unresolved Sexual Tension, (it gets resolved lol), WWX POV, Protective wwx, WWX centric, explicit stuff only happens between wangxian, (or wwx and his own hand), Masturbation, get wwx a fainting couch agenda, Alcohol, wwx has some brain problems in this one, Consensual Non-Consent, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, straight boy WWX)
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9. Hello! Please help me find this fic. I don’t remember much, but there was an OC lan elder, who is rescued or helped by Wei Wuxian. I am not sure but Wei Ying didn’t know he was a lan or something. Later on they meet again and elder favours or helps him. I am sorry for being vague, but this is what I remember. It would be great if somebody knows what this fic may be !
Hello, this is requester for number 9. I am really grateful for the person who replied but unfortunately I don’t think that it is the fic I am looking for. As far as I remember wasn’t QHJ, rather an OC lan elder. However I really love the suggestion and enjoyed the fic, so thank you for that!
NOT FOUND The Shadows of My Old Palaces, Falling Across The Moats by ChilianXianzi (T, 8k, WangXian, onesided QHJ/WWX, Canon Divergence, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, QHJ lives, Domestic, Angst, POV Outsider, Age Difference, Fix-It of Sorts)
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10. for the FF: it was a fic where wx are full time dom/sub (sub wwx), i dont rmmbr much except that theres a part where jc causes a scene fearing lwj is abusing him (bc fulltime d/s, he chooses what wwx eats, wears, etc) and jyl has to tell him to shut up and that her and jzx are in a d/s relationship too! i read it ages ago T^T its not "something so flawed and free" by verseau btw! thank u guys <33 love u all mwah
FOUND! rainfall by daltoneering (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern AU, Established Relationship, lifestyle kink, 24/7 D/s, Kink Negotiation, kink discussion, Communication, BDSM, dom lwj, Sub wwx, Top LWJ, Bottom wwx, Kink Exploration, collaring, Body Writing, Breathplay, Orgasm Denial, Bondage, Subdrop, Safewording, Panic Attacks, [Podfic of] rainfall by exmanhater)
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11. Hiii! I don't remember much except for the first few chapters, but the fic was really long. I think the plot started off as "What if the Incident in Qiongdi Path never happened?"
The first chapter or so takes place at Jin Lings one month celebration
Wei Wuxian is really damn depressed the whole time (he's really damn depressed the whole fic actually)
Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan never die. Yanli wants to spend time with Wei Wuxian and she makes some soup, but he gets spooked at some point and Wen Ning helps him run away back to the Burial Mounds???
At some point later on in the fic, Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli go to Cloud Recesses and they bring some food for Wangxian.
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12. hii :D im looking for a modern au fic where lz works as a in pharmaceutics and meets wy who is the tech guy of their apartment. he calls himself mo xuanyu and lives with ayuan and is trying to escape his past with the help of police officer nmj. i think there was an autistic lz tag in that fic too. it was so good but i think i forgot to bookmark it.. thanks for your help! @harapecowee
FOUND! Stop and Stay by Fantazy_Eyeland7 (M, 98k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, LXC/JGY, SL/XXC, WIP, Blood and Violence, Hurt WWX, Kidnapping, Torture, WWX discovering weighted blankets, Pining LWJ, Modern, FBI Agent NMJ, Protective LWJ, Emotional Manipulation, Toxic JGY, not JGY friendly, LWJ learning how to communicate, WangXian have competence kinks, adopting children, Bad Parent YZY, Protective JYL, Protective JC, Protective NMJ, Past Child Abuse, Precious LSZ, Baby LJY, Warning: XY, Blind Character, slaps top of WWX: This bad boy can fit so much trauma inside, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Everyone is ending up in well-needed therapy, Child Abandonment, Genius WWX, Obsessive XY, Yunmeng Siblings Feels, Eventual Smut, Bad Parent JFM, Junior Quartet Dynamics, (As Babies!), Implied/Referenced Suicide, sort of a slow burn, but not really, because they KNOW, they just can't, Good Uncle LQR, eventually) It doesn't have the austistic!lz tag, but everything else fits.
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13. Hi! 🤗
I'm looking for two fics:
A) A fic where WQ makes a second operation with WWX and JC. The only thing I remember is that WWX is really in a bad condition and they ask JC to give the half of the golden core to WWX. He accepts.
B) I'm not sure if it's one o two fics that I'm mixing, but all I remember is that LWJ when he knows about the lost golden core of WWX, decided to make a second golden core inside him to give it to WWX.
Thanks for the wonderful work! 🥰 @wangxiansgirl
13A)
FOUND! The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)
NOT FOUND! Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) might also be, (around chapter 43)?
NOT FOUND! in this place where we don’t have a prayer by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T, 42k, WangXian)
13B)
FOUND? 🧡 Discarded by teawater (E, 178k, WIP, WangXian, Lots of Angst, Hurt/Comfort, YLLZ WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect, Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ) If 13B is different from 13A, maybe B is Discarded Lan Zhan creates a "seed core" that Wei Ying can use to grow a new core.
FOUND? these colours fade for you only by doodlebutt (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, ...eventually, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sunshot Campaign)
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14. Im trying to find a fic
It was modern setting and maybe has cultivation still? wwx is a tattoo artist and I believe lwj saw some type dark energy out side his shop. So he went in and ending up saying he wanted a tattoo, wwx was who ended up talking to him about it and making him a design. I think it had something to do with bunnies and, then finally when the day came for lwj to get the tattoo. He’s like I’m sorry I never wanted one, wwx gets upset and tells lwj to pay him money in cash for compensation. Lwj does that’s all I can remember I think wwx might have adopted or least helps take care of a -yuan. @zerokogane
FOUND! Demon Ink by Jade_Valentine (E, 189k, WIP, WangXian, Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Tattoo Artist WWX, Magic, Chaotic Bisexual WWX, Demisexual LWJ, background NieLan, Slow Burn, Angst, But substantially less angst than canon, Mutual Masturbation, Domestic Fluff, Welcome to my LWJ & NHS friendship agenda, Shower Sex, Brief mentions of past Lan Bro abuse at the hands of LQR, wangxian family feels, WWX is the Best Dad Ever, WWX's canonical abuse at the hands of Madam Yu, Blow Jobs, Slight Make-Up Kink)
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15. Fic finder request please!!
This is a short omegaverse wangxia? I think it might’ve been part of a series? where it’s Omega WWX and YZY gets him married off to LWJ where she expects him to be treated badly. Instead bc the Lana treat omegas very well, WWX is happy and content. Meanwhile JYL is jealous that WWX actually got mating bites and equal status bc Jin Zixuan didn’t even do that for her. I can’t remember anything else. 😅
FOUND!🔒Alliance AU by Ilona22 (E, 21k, WangXian, JYL/OC, Arranged Marriage, A/B/O Dynamics, PWP, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Intersex Omegas, Not JC Friendly, Matchmaking, canon Jiang family dynamics, Family time, Night Hunts, Mention of male omega pregnancy, Intrigue at Jinlintai, Mentions of Prostitution, War, Conflict between characters)
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16. Sorry to be asking this(fic finder), I really don’t remember how I got to this fic but now I cannot find it but I feel like it probably was here
It’s a fic about how when wwx comes back to life he meets lxc instead of lwj in Mo manor. he asks for lwj and that confirms to lxc that he is wwx and not Mo xuanyu and asks him to go back with him to cloud recesses where he takes care of lwj who couldn’t heal after the 33 leash punishment.
At first wwx doesn’t want lwj to know that it’s him. He brings him bunnies and helps him re learn how to play the guqin(he cannot play it due to his injuries and because he hasn’t practiced since he was punished) lan Yuan helps wwx to learn how to play it and lwj starts being more active
Lxc is happy and let’s wwx go to a small one week vacation but lwj gets worse that week, he also discovers mxy is wwx I think
Tsm for the help🙇‍♀️
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17. hi! i’m looking for two fics:
A) one where wei ying lives with ghosts and is a teacher and runs into lan zhan for the first time in years during a class field trip
B) all i can remember is that wei ying wrote a software called yiling
17A)
FOUND! won’t take the easy road by twigofwillow (T, 47k, wangxian, JC & WWX & JYL, WWX & WQ, space au, yearning, found family, complicated family feels, ghosts, food, teacher WWX)
17B)
NOT FOUND Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 107k, WangXian, Modern AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Romance, Persuasion au, Separations, Mutual Pining, Depression, Miscommunication, Emotional Roller Coaster, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Reconciliation, Eventual Smut, Jane Austen Fusion, Underage Kissing) I think no. 17 might be "Tempo Rubato" but the software is "Stygian"
NOT FOUND The Fated Fortuity by devinokaze (T, 26k, wangxian, WIP, Royalty AU, Modern, Social Media, WWX is Wen Ruohan's son, Qishan Wen Kingdom, stangers to lovers, Prince WWX) The software is called Yin Tiger Tally and Su She tries to claim he wrote it lol.
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18. Hello!! All good? I'm looking for a fic in which WWX becomes a god after his death, I think he's the god of death if I remember correctly. I remember a part where Madam Yu and her Husband (the leader of the Jiang sect) decide to reincarnate... I don't remember much, it's been a while since I read it, another thing I remember is that he communicated with Jiang Cheng through dreams. I already searched the Tag Deity Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian but I didn't find it... Thank you for your work!! @sweettiebah
FOUND! 🔒 Of Destruction and Rebirth by demoniqt (M, 88k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, major character death, rape/non-con, underage, graphic depictions of violence, Slow Burn, Canonical Character Death, God WWX, God Verse, BAMF WWX, Grieving LWJ, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Gods & Goddesses au, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Rabbits, Fix-It, Attempted Sexual Assault, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Castration, Lots of it, repeatedly, Punishment, Hell)
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19. heyy could u help me find a fic, I only vaguely remember the details
I read this quite a while ago, wwx is some sort of courtesan, pretty sure he works in a brothel, lwj is either a cultivator (like in canon) or he's a noble/king smth like that! he meets wwz in the brothel place and I think wwx is pretty sly, MAYBE he's wearing dresses and I'm pretty sure they get married in the end? I think someone in the lan clan is against wwx (either lxc or lqr) and I'm also pretty sure it's a pwp, they might have been conspiring too, it's all very vague! any help would be appreciated thanks!!!
FOUND! 醉 | drunk; intoxication by sweetlolixo (E, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Mythical Creature WWX, everyone falls in love with weiying at first sight..., Besotted LWJ, Romance, Pregnant WWX, Fluff)
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20. Hi I’m looking for a fix where sizhui and jingyi travels back to the past (maybe to the conference) and they make commentary during the entire time they were waiting to get back to their present. I think in this fix, sizhui revealed that some of the people (madam Yu and others) are listed on lan zhan’s lists. Sizhui also mentions that lan zhan has several lists for different things. Also jinyi called Jin guangshan jin guangshit throughout the whole time they’re there. Thanks
FOUND? A Room Full of Dead People by BurningBlueDiamond (T, 10k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It, but not really, Canon Divergence, Conference in Qinghe but canonically they stay in Gusu, strangely fluffy, POV Outsider)
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badgyalshii · 8 months ago
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ITS NEVER OVER |||
+ (WHERE HAVE YOU GONE)
word count: 1.7?
Paul atreides x Reader (Always safe for POC + PLUS SIZE) Paul POV!!!
warnings: signs of depression? were happy in there tho, proof read? yeah something like that (god i am not good at these����) y/n is not in this chapter but ofc shes mentioned entirely throughout the text.
A/N: AHHHHHH THE FINAL CHAPTER BEFORE THE FINALE, IM EXCITED TO POSTTTT, i hope you guys enjoyed and i love the feedback i recieved! i love you all, have a good day/night, whenever you get this! (Also, considering that this is from pauls POV i thought that i might add an extra title)
Hey! Have you read the first chapters? You didnt? What! Read it here!! I . II . III . IV.
Hmm? You said you like shii’z writing?! Omg me too! Check out her masterlist!
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He let out a heavy breath before he ripped his mask off of his face. He wasn't supposed to be out alone considering he was the new crowned emperor. But he was, and he was searching for you and he wasn't gonna give up until he did. He wore heavy clothing to try and hide his identity from others, and a bag that slung around his shoulder consisting of his journal, water, and other things he might need. He settles for the night in a rock. A rock with a beautiful view. He has been on the road for so long, he's forgotten how long, he didn't really care to remember either, considering it would help motivate to find you. He walks around the rock, searching for anything to give him clues of you or if you might've been here.
As he looked around, It was clear that someone had been there before. He looked at the bad attempt of making a bed, but he didn't touch it. His eyes slightly closed from trying to study the bed, there were still prints of a body, maybe two, on the bed. He hunches over. There was a piece of hair, as disgusting as it sounds…he picked it up. It was the same as yours, he took a rather long pause before thinking, maybe he should smell the bed? No, what if he smells something he doesn't like. He shook his head before looking at the single strand of hair that was in his hand. He sat down on the bed, setting the hair gently aside before taking off his glove and putting the strand back in his palm. Everybody's hair could be similar, he thought. He let out a sigh before looking ahead of him. He didn't know what time it was, but all he knew was that he was tired and heart broken. He didn't miss his home, not at all, not with you not there.
He put his glove and his mask back on before placing the hair into his bag. Out of everything that was going on, at least the view was beautiful. He stood and walked to the view of the rock, carelessly taking footsteps before he sighed and dropped down, his legs open and his elbows on his knees as he took in the view. He let in a deep breath. ¨tired. I am tired¨ he let out in a whisper. He fought his sleep often because he knew it would make him less confident and he would grow to slack, but sometimes he just couldn't take it anymore. The yawns leaving his lips, difficulty holding onto the hooks that latched onto the sandworm, but he thought he could finally settle here for a while, as a reward for finding a piece of hair that have a 5 percent chance of being yours.
As he watched the view, he thought of you. He didn't cry as much anymore. When he cried, he cried alone in private. And during that time, he cried until he couldn't anymore. Every time he saw Irulan it made him sick to his stomach. As much as he wanted to blame her, he couldn't. His heart was too good and he knew better than to let a weak desperate moment turn into anger. ¨why did i offer?¨ he would think over and over, countless times, wondering how could he be so careless. But he wasn't, he didn't want to marry her for the reason of love, just wanted to keep her safe as a promise to the retired and overthrown emperor. Thinking about it made him question his character, who has he grown to be? hed remembered what you said, he always thought of the smart and wise things you had to say.
¨its okay to feel how you feel, paul¨ you looked at him with a pity smile on your face while your hand was on his cheek. He had another nightmare. He didn't want it to be true. ¨this is gonna make me go crazy, y/n¨ paul whispered back, leaning into y/ns touch. ¨don't let it fool you, don't let it phase you, don't let it change you¨ you replied. At times, all paul wanted to do was give up. He didnt wanna be the chosen one. It was all too much. He could stay here forever, with you. For all eternity if he could.
Paul sighs and looks to the side. Remembering what you said, he wished things weren't so quiet.he laughed to himself, all the dreams he had of the future, but none of you. He sat alone, all alone, not one book, not one sound, just him, by himself. He felt empty, he wants you, he needs you, he needed someone to make him feel complete again, but days spread thick and long, bored, fighting himself back and forth between hope for finding you and wondering if you had just moved on. He wished he had a dream of you, of your blue eyes glistening in the sun, of your laugh, He wished it was so vivid that he touched you, that he could control his dream and talk to you, make love to you, but he had nothing, nothing at all. Nothing to remember you by, just a stupid suspicious piece of hair, tears brimmed his eyes, he needs you. There was no one he could pray to if he was the chosen one. No matter how hard he fought, how he tried to distract himself from work, it all lead up to one person, not one other thought, never out of sight out of mind, he knew what he wanted and he fell so deep he felt like he just couldn't grasp it anymore, how was he supposed to live his life without you. Your soft gentle hands grazing his face and answering the stupid and goofy questions he asked. There was no one else and he knew that now, didn't even find anyone else attractive. Lonesome nights, he didn't want to be on his own, ever again. Once he found you he vowed to never let you go, no matter how loud your voice is, no matter if you kicked him down, your in his heart and he just cannot let go, but how long could he search? Huh? How long would it be until he found you? When will he hear your voice again? When will he kiss you again? He didn't even say I love you before you walked off, for all he knew, that was his last goodbye.
On the first day, he acted as if nothing happened, but then he realized you weren't there, he couldn't pick at your dinner plate, he could hear your laughs, he couldn't feel your pity hits after he whispers a dirty joke. He had no one to talk to, no one to ask him if he was okay. Was he...okay? Had he known he was okay? Or has he grown so long to the point where he wasnt and he just didn't know it. He wished he said more, begged you to stay, cried about it, weeped about it, there was so much he could've done and he didn't, he only said a short explanation of how he was waiting for you and now he's on the run, on the search. He was so tired, so tired of looking at the same spice on the ground, carving on the rock of the walls. He wanted to be next to you, holding your head in his shoulder, hear your soft snores as you slept like there wasn't a care in the world. He'd never expect this, a life without you. He sighed and shook the thought out of his head, noticing he was in too deep and he wiped the tears that slowly dropped from his face, letting out a sniffle as he looked ahead. He didn't want to be too deep, of course he missed you, but he wanted to find you with a clear conscience, a healthy mind. He needed something to keep him going. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked to the ground. He placed a palm down and leaned closer to the floor. What is this? This imprint on the floor? Looks familiar.
He looked over it, careful not to move or make any sudden movements. ¨y/n?¨ he muttered. Any normal person would've thought paul as crazy, looking like he's searching for spice on the floor, and then wanting to jump and cheer, because, well, because what?
The necklace
The necklace Paul got for her. It was there! Clear as day. What a time to cheer! He couldn't fight off the smile on his lips. She's alive! She's alive! What a joy, out for two years! Been all around Arrakis, and at such a time he was going to give up, go home, force himself to get comfortable with his new situation, you were out there. Shall he go home? To tell stilgar and have a celebration? Sweet red wine sounded like heaven. He wiped his eyes as finally, finally tears came down. Tears of joy, he waited for this moment, oh so long! He was so happy he could take the dirt and put it in his bag also.
He laughed, he found it funny how he grew so tired of being next to his queen that he went and found you himself after he told you to come back. He grew impatient. He took out his journal and wrote, writing his life away as he thought of you, as the warmness of love and hope crowded his vision and spreaded throughout his body. This is all he wanted, to find you. And he was so close, so, so close.
He hadn't felt like this in a long time. He got up and collected the dirt from the necklace in his hand and watched it fall from his gloves. Looking around and seeing the footsteps, all yours he believed! He looked before following the footsteps, he followed them foot by foot until he was in the sand again. He hunched over, trying to search for the footsteps as they were getting lost from the wind of the sand until he couldn't anymore. He stood and pulled out his compass for the direction that you went. When it pointed he saw and lifted his head in the direction you went. This was it, this was the final piece, this was the end.
You were home.
Taglist 🏷️
@ennycutie @cookiezxx
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twst-hottest-takes · 19 days ago
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I was scrolling back and reading the blog posts on Vil and even tho I do like him I agree that compared to the other overblotters, the problems he is shown to have in his main story chapter are deeply unserious especially when sandwiched between Jamil and Idia's heavier stories. Vil does have something deeper, but for me Book 5's issue was having the wrong priorities of which part of it to make his "main" character struggle/how it was presented😭
What I think would've been a way more interesting and sympathetic focus for his story on would be his implied insecurity with age, particularly being perceived as older that he actually is (when he asks Kalim how old he thought he was, he tells kalim its good he got it right "or else"). If you start counting the birthdays from September, it's actually an interesting ironic detail that Vil would be the youngest junior despite being one of the most "mature". The backstory could've focused more on the adultification that came with being a child actor, and how maybe Vil feels like he has to make the most out of his beauty before he approaches the time limit on his desirability (ingrained into him by the industry as what he's worth for)
This would've added another layer to why he insists Epel make the most out of his "cuteness" and his rivalry with the noticeably more "youthful" type of beautiful Neige. Could possibly also connect to how Jamil had to grow up quickly too (I'm dissapointed at how irrelevant Scarabia duo turned out to be in Book 5 lol). It would've also made his sacrifice in Book 6 to save Idia (turning into an old man) hit harder, as well as make Book 5 a better build up to the themes of mortality in Book 6 and 7.
Though even when making adjustments to improve how Vil's backstory is presented in the main story, Vil being a conventionally attractive rich white guy with a present and supportive family in canon still makes his struggle with "feeling like I'm never be my best" feel... contrived? and unnecessary victimization for lack of better words. This is why I personally think the transfem headcanon or headcanons where he's a POC also improve his character since the experience and why he feels the need to be the best despite what he's already achieved have another layer to it (since twst's intent is to make the overblotters sympathetic still). I know twst is fantasy so technically it doesn't need to represent real politic correctness etc. but for me this is less preaching and choosing how to set up your characters in the most meaningful ways possible
Everyone is still free to like Vil's character regardless of course (I like vil which is why I yapped about all this) but yeah I'm sad about the wasted potential of a character like him😭
A fine addition to that conversation if I may say so.
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Coming from someone who doesn't like Vil in the slightest, I think that you've presented a really good way to tie his character arc in chapter 5 together. If Vil just had more cohesive writing between his habits, motivations, and backstory, he'd be a lot more compelling. I won't harp on this because I think Anon explained themselves very well here and I've already talked about how underwhelming Vil's writing in chapter 5 is at length. Always good to hear a different solution to the same problem though.
Kudos for this one!
Thank you for your take.
(Also, completely valid reasons for enjoying Vil reimagined as trans or POC in fanworks.)
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erideights · 6 months ago
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With my 6th sense. (1)
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Pairing: Hunter x fem! jedi reader
Rating: this is the first chapter let's take it slow
Wordcount: 2.2K
Chapters: (2) (3) (4)* (5)* (*not posted yet)
Warnings and tags: use of (Y/N) but I keep it as minimum as possible tho my writing style is in 3rd person, so it's a bit difficult! apart from that none really, just introduction to the story, slight mentions of war maybe, but i can already tell you, this will be an ''i hate you-to-love you'' (calling them enemies doesn't really fit in)
Summary: (This story happens about around a year before The Bad Batch is introduced in The Clone Wars) Another day, another suicide mission for the squad. This time commanded by a jedi general they've never hear about.
A/N: I'm back after MONTHS with a new hyperfixation and no one can stop me. I'm jumping really late to TBB ship but I guess I would give it a try. Or write it for myself. As always, I'll make it a small series, and I hope all of you will enjoy it ♥ (my main language is not english so sorry if there are some mistakes)
Side note: PLEASE read the intro with the voice of The Clone Wars intro, thanks.
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Coruscant!
In the aftermath of the Republic's recent defeat in the growing war in the outer rim, the Jedi Order finds itself at a crossroads, and generals such as Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and (Y/N) convene to strategize their next move in a desperate bid to stop the advance of the Separatist invasions. As they discuss their next course of action, each voice carries the weight of the galaxy's fate. For the Republic's survival hangs in the balance, and only through unity and courage can they hope to emerge victorious against the relentless onslaught of their enemies.
"Feels like they can predict our every move," Master Mace Windu exhales, his eyes glued to the holomap of the base, his hand thoughtfully stroking his chin. The dim light of the briefing room casts a stern shadow on his face, reflecting the gravity of the situation.
"And it's not just that," Obi-Wan interjects, his voice carrying a mix of frustration and concern. "During our last mission, Anakin and I encountered a new type of battle droid..." He sighs heavily, shaking his head as if trying to dispel the memory. His eyes narrow as he recalls the encounter. "This droid kept its distance, observing us while we dealt with all the others. By the time it engaged, it had analyzed, memorized, and adapted to our combat patterns. It knew exactly how to dodge our attacks and counterattack almost instantly."
"Are you serious?" (Y/N) asks, her brows furrowed in disbelief, crossing her arms over her chest. That sounds like a nightmare. Sure, a sniper could take it out from a distance, but up close? For them Jedi, trained in close combat, it could be a real pain in the ass.
"Yeah, and that's putting it mildly," Obi-Wan replies, his voice tinged with worry. "Anakin believes it's still in the development phase. The droid's assembly was far from perfect, almost like it was a prototype. But if they keep working on it, refining it... it could become a serious threat."
The room falls into a tense silence, so thick it almost feels suffocating. The three Jedi and Commander Cody, standing to Obi-Wan's right and always ready to offer some tactical advice, know what this means: if they want to halt the development of these new droids, or at least stay a step ahead, they need to steal the blueprints, and the Separatist droid blueprints are securely kept in…
"Looks like one lucky squad’s gonna have the great honor of infiltrating Serenno," the younger Jedi breaks the silence with a touch of sarcasm, tapping a few buttons on the holo-map to display the planet in question. Almost unexplored, impossible to get ships close enough to scan it completely.
"That’s too reckless," Windu comments immediately.
"It’s a suicide mission," Obi-Wan agrees.
"It’s risky, but not impossible."
"You spend way too much time with Anakin."
"Actually, Anakin spends too much time with me," she corrects with a playful smirk, crossing her arms again and leaning back against one of the control panels behind her.
"If I may…" Cody interjects, stepping forward and nodding to formally request the floor. Windu acknowledges him with a nod of his own. "A mission like this needs a small team. No more than four or five soldiers, with one of you leading. And I know just the squad for the job."
"The 501st?" Windu asks, his brow raised, well aware of the battalion’s formidable reputation.
"No," Cody shakes his head, his helmet tucked under his left arm. "Clone Force 99. I've worked with them before. They’re elite commandos, defective clones with desirable and really convenient mutations. Their success rate on high-risk missions is 100%."
"But...?" (Y/N) catches a deep, well hidden hint of hesitation in the commander's voice and refuses to let it slide. She raises an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side to scrutinize him closely.
"But," Cody clears his throat, aware of how his words might sound for the Jedi, "let’s just say they’re an unconventional squad. Their methods don’t exactly mesh well with captains, commanders, or generals who aren’t flexible or willing to...improvise on the fly, or disregard orders from above."
"That description sounds vaguely familiar," Obi-Wan remarks, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he blatantly turns his head to look at her. She purses her lips and shrugs, as if the comment had nothing to do with her peaceful persona.
"I just like being practical, and let’s be honest, plans usually never work out as we would like them to. Following orders isn’t always the best option on the table when the situation becomes a life or death type of scenario."
"I think we’ve found the perfect person to lead this mission," Obi-Wan concludes, a knowing smile spreading across his face.
(Y/N) and Obi-Wan then turn their gaze towards Windu, who appears to be deeply pondering the situation. It’s a dangerous mission, far too dangerous. Infiltrating Serenno could be compared to a Separatist squadron trying to infiltrate Coruscant right now. Reckless, not worthy at all. And even though she has proven her capabilities time and again, earning the respect of the Jedi Council since before she was knighted, this exceeds the usual risks they take. But at the same time, if they don't do it, they could lose more than just a squad—and with bad luck, a Jedi.
"Go ahead," Windu finally says, his tone decisive.
"Great, infiltrating the heart of enemy territory is always my favorite kind of mission," she quips, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, a smirk tugging at her lips.
...
"I had no clue there were defective clones out there," Obi-Wan remarks, arms folded, his gaze scanning the distant skyline of Coruscant from the base.
"Me neither, but the whole idea of working with a bunch or weird, mutant clones sounds fascinating," (Y/N) replies without missing a beat, a spark of excitement lighting up her eyes as she contemplates leading such an unconventional mission. She's still one of the few Jedi without a permanent legion or squad under her command, always bouncing from one assignment to another, going wherever she's needed as reinforcement. A bit like the 99, Cody thinks, observing both Jedi with a smile playing on his lips.
"You're about to find out just how interesting they can be, General."
And as if his statement was a cue and they were living in a movie, a shuttle rockets onto the landing pad, causing chaos among the ground crew. Its engines roar as it touches down, sending crates of military gear flying through the air like confetti at a parade.
"Someone just lost their flight rights." She mutters, a wide grin spreading across her face. Obi-Wan -ever so subtle- smirks beside her, wondering which of those so-called elite defective clones managed to botch a landing so badly. Did they miss their flying lessons?
The ramp of the shuttle, which she discovers it's heavily customized now that she can take a better look at it, slowly lowers, revealing four individuals waiting to come out, each more particular than the last. Their armor, adorned in black and red, seems customized to what (Y/N) guesses are their individual strengths and quirks.
The first one down the ramp, still wearing his helmet, glances around as if assessing the potential damage done to the landing pad. From his body language alone, she would expect him to be the genius who managed that landing. What she doesn’t expect, though, is his face under the helmet. Actually, none of theirs.
"Well, they certainly don’t look like clones," Obi-Wan comments a bit louder than intended, but he's right. They all share a distant resemblance to the regular clones—maybe like... distant cousins—but if they weren’t in the army, you’d never guess they were clones at all. Each one of them is… unique, and they’ve already piqued (Y/N)’s curiosity even before a proper introduction.
"Commander," one of them greets Cody as soon as the squad reaches them, raising a hand to shake his own. His long, dark, wavy hair is already distinctive enough, but his tattooed face really adds to his intimidating persona. He truly looks like someone who could kill you in a matter of seconds if he wanted to. 
"Good to see you, Sergeant. It’s been a while. This is Jedi General (Y/N)," Cody introduces her, and she nods at them with a charming small smile plastered on her face. "She'll be leading this suicide mission and will be your only reinforcement this time."
It might just be her imagination, really, but she could swear the clone Cody referred to as sergeant is not exactly happy with the sudden news about the mission’s command. Feeling as if a speeder had just run over her a thousand parsecs per hour, and judging by the way he suddenly looks her up and down to the speed of light, silently analyzing her, she'd say this strong feeling of rejection she perceives through the Force, comes from him.
Awh, she didn’t even open her mouth yet and she’s already made a new friend. How cute.
"General," he nods politely, like any good soldier would have done, but with this… noticeable detachment in his manner. "Sergeant Hunter of Clone Force 99. These are Tech, Wrecker, and Crosshair." He introduces his team one by one, each giving the Jedi a quick glance and a nod.
‘’Let me guess,’’ she starts, biting the inside of her cheek before pointing with one of her right fingers to each one of them. ‘’you’re fast and probably have better sight or hearing. You, on the other hand, are the smart one.’’ The jedi refers to Tech, who is clearly and unashamedly the brains of the squad. Those glasses and the datapad he constantly checks? A walking stereotype. He nods in agreement, tho, while Hunter tries to roll his eyes without being noticed. And miserably fails, but she doesn’t pay attention to it. ‘’You’re the strong one, and you’re the sniper.’’ And she’s sure she doesn’t need to point out why, how, she knows that; the target tattoo around his eye blatantly giving him away.
"Wait, you're a Jedi?" Wrecker, the burliest of the group and seemingly the cute, dumb one, asks with a hint of disbelief as he eyes her hair and attire. She quickly realizes that her dark and tactical outfit—cargo pants, military boots, a snug top with protective padding on her shoulders and a tight vest—doesn't exactly scream "Jedi." But she's always been more comfortable on the front lines than behind the clones she commands, and a robe would just get in the way during a fight. Obi-Wan's still not happy about that.
"Yeah, last time I checked," she replies with a smile, his enthusiasm infectious as she meets Wrecker's gaze. His expression widens, as happy and excited as a kid in a candy store.
"Isn't that awesome, Sergeant? We're gonna see some of those Force tricks up close," Wrecker adds eagerly, nudging his fellow clone.
"Yeah, awesome," Hunter mutters, seemingly uninterested in the conversation as he quickly changes the subject. What's his problem? "So, General, what kind of death trap are we heading into this time?"
"I'll fill you in on all the details on our way; the journey will be long," She answers, shrugging nonchalantly, her hands clasped behind her back.
"Then let's get going!" Wrecker exclaims again, and his whole squad follows him back to the shuttle after a quick farewell to Cody. (Y/N) can't help but notice the way the proclaimed sergeant's eyes lingered on her for just a couple seconds before turning away, wondering about the coldness she feels emanating from him towards her. If their paths had crossed on another mission, she would have remembered, and even so, she's always the life of the party on any mission! She might take offense if she wasn't used to not fitting in even among her own. At least, she tells herself as she exhales a soft sigh, he's attractive, so she'll deal with the mission and his shitty attitude by enjoying his pretty face as a reward for her outstanding patience.
"You're staring," Obi-Wan scolds her under his breath, witnessing their previous interaction, giving the younger Jedi a gentle elbow nudge.
"Being a Jedi means not getting attached, not gouging your eyes out and depriving yourself of good views," she responds without missing a beat, smiling charmingly at him. She's so cheeky, Obi-Wan thinks to himself, exactly like her old master, Kit Fisto.
"Ah, -I completely forgot-, wait!" The Jedi calls out to Clone Force 99, causing everyone to freeze and turn to look at her. "Before we go, you guys need to change your clothes."
The clones look at each other, confused. Wrecker is the first to speak up. "What’s wrong with our gear?"
She steps forward, arms crossed. "Nothing if you want to stick out like a rancor in a china shop. We're going undercover."
Hunter narrows his eyes slightly, not exactly liking what he just heard. "And what exactly do you suggest, General?"
She smirks, his reluctance kinda funny to her. "Something a bit less... militaristic. Follow me, I'll show you where you can get changed."
Wrecker shrugs, clearly unfazed. "As long as I don't have to wear a dress," he jokes, eliciting a low chuckle from Crosshair. ''those never have pockets, and I need to carry some grenades.''
Hunter, on the other hand, remains stoic, his gaze fixed on the jedi, his now general during this mission. There’s a flicker of something in his eyes—doubt, maybe even distrust—but he nods. "Lead the way."
And as they do as being told, Obi-Wan falls into step beside her. "You sure about this?"
She nods, her expression determined. "Absolutely, what could go wrong?"
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voyter · 1 month ago
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MATCHPOINT (teaser)
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pairing. jeon jungkook x fem!reader x kim mingyu genre. tennis au. college au. smut. love triangle.
while tennis was your priority, the two boys who couldn't stop competing both on and off the court somehow were too.
word count for teaser. 609 words warnings for this chapter. mention of threesome. no explicit smut for teaser.
ana's notes. CHALLENGERS AU YASSSSS i literally started writing this after i watched the movie then completely abandoned it for a few months ... then i saw it in my docs and was like girl i need to get back on thisssss. SO HERE I AM !!! this is a 5 part series so yes its short but i promise yall, ur gonna be in for a RIDEEEEE !!!
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“So,” you ask, accepting the cold bottle from Mingyu, “how did you guys meet?”
“Well, we were neighbors at first,” Mingyu replies, settling comfortably as he recalls their past. “We played outside almost every day, and we’ve been attached at the hip ever since.”
His casual tone holds a hint of nostalgia, but you're curious now, intrigued by their dynamic. “So, you two share everything?” you ask, raising an eyebrow and leaning in slightly. Your voice is teasing, but there's a playful challenge behind it.
Mingyu’s grin widens, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Basically, yeah,” he answers without missing a beat.
You pause, letting your gaze flick between the two of them before the next question leaves your lips, a bit more daring this time. “Even the same girls?”
The atmosphere shifts instantly. The room, once filled with light banter, falls into a brief silence. Both boys glance at each other, then down at the floor. You notice the slight twitch in Jungkook’s jaw, the way Mingyu runs a hand through his hair, as if buying time to formulate an answer.
Jungkook clears his throat, looking slightly uncomfortable. “It… it actually doesn’t happen as often as you think,” he stammers, his voice quieter, almost hesitant.
You smirk, sensing the awkward tension. “Really?” you press, wanting to know more.
Mingyu steps in, his voice confident as ever, trying to regain the playful mood. “Jungkook and I don’t usually have the same type,” he says, his tone light but firm.
You can’t resist pushing further, the teasing smile still playing on your lips. “And me?”
Mingyu falls silent, his confident demeanor faltering for a moment. He looks at Jungkook, almost like he's seeking backup, his uncertainty clear in the shift of his posture.
“Well… aren’t you everyone’s type?” Jungkook finally blurts out, his voice soft but laced with hesitation, clearly hoping to diffuse the moment.
Mingyu smirks, a slow, knowing grin spreading across his face. Jungkook, on the other hand, offers something entirely different — his sultry smile, the kind that’s both charming and unsettling in its intensity. His gaze lingers on you, the way his doe eyes shimmer under the dim light making the room feel suddenly smaller and charged with tension.
You feel your cheeks flush, a smile blooming on your lips as you return his gaze, caught up in the moment.
“So, I assume you guys have never had a threesome,” you say, shifting your longing gaze to Mingyu, relishing the way their expressions shift.
The sight in front of you is downright amusing. They both look like deers caught in headlights, eyes wide and mouths slightly agape. You tilt your head, savoring the anticipation as you wait for a response.
“I- uh-” Mingyu stammers, clearly flustered. “It- it was never really something we thought about…”
You let the silence hang in the air for a moment, then ask, “So should I just go then?” You can’t help but tease them, enjoying the power you have in this playful game.
“No!” they shout in unison, their voices rising in a mix of panic and urgency.
You giggle softly, thoroughly entertained by how flustered they seem. Their awkward chuckles only add to your amusement as the energy in the room shifts. The quietness that the room falls into isn’t just a pause — it’s a promise of something about to unfold, and you can feel their nervous energy as they settle into the moment.
Without breaking eye contact, you tap the two spots next to you, silently beckoning them. The gesture is casual, but the meaning behind it carries weight. Your voice softens, yet commands attention as you murmur,
“Come.”
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read here!
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© voyter 2024, all rights reserved.
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1427 · 9 months ago
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When the Levee Breaks (pt. 5)
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Daryl Dixon x OFC
Story Summary: The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her, right?
Chapt Setting: The Farm/Woods
Chapt Warnings: pretty explicit drug use (meth), season 2 Daryl, degrading/sexist language (he’s starting to get better lol), SOPHIA CHAPTER (I think that deserves a warning)
Word Count: 2.7k
A/N: Daryl’s POV story. Daryl’s starting to be less of a dick, trying really hard to make it feel organic/make it make sense in the story. Idk. This chapter was really rough to write because… it made me sad. Also have no idea if it even makes sense (the hallucination bit, really hope it does) lol ALSO; I looked up some timeline stuff and i just?? Really thought Daryl was out there for days on his own? But apparently he wasn’t? We’re just gonna say that he is in this story. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can only do so much when the timeline of TWD is fucking stupid sometimes. (I mean it. Come for me. Idc. Rick was in a coma for 59 days without food or water???!?!!!? Bye)
masterlist
17+ mdni (no smut in this one tho sorry)
Like fiberglass in my veins, it tears through me. Mellow, at first, almost think I should rail more before I can feel myself sweatin’. Different kinda sweat, comin’ from my fuckin’ soul. 
Haven’t felt like I was doin’ something ‘wrong’ since I was little. That feeling that ch’ya get when you’re doin’ somethin’ ya know you’re not s’possed to. This ain’t the first time I done spazz, but maybe it’ll be the last. The anxiety about doin’ it goes away the second I feel the devil kick me through my nose to the back of my brain. Even though I know it’s comin’, it always feels like gettin’ skullfucked by satan. 
Been out here for a day. I brought Merle’s shit with me because I decided to finally get rid of it somewhere. But I got somethin’ that needs doin’. And anyway, I got years of experience with ice. Not doin’ it. Sometimes doin’ it. Never let Merle know, he’d’ve made some big whoop ‘bout it. And everytime he’d gone and done more than he remembered, he woulda blamed me. Shit though, sometimes it was. 
M’not like Merle and Beatle. Ain’t an addict. Can do shit and put it down. Always been able to put it down. Figured other people could too, that they just didn’t wanna. ‘m not sure, but still kinda think that. 
Never felt fuckin’ guilty about it before, though. Fuckin’ Beatle. I’unno if it’s cuz I’d be done with her if she did the same shit, or if it’s cuz I know if she knew that I was - she’d be mad at me. Mad I didn’t invite ‘er. 
But this shit ain’t for fuckin’ playtime. Only reason ‘m even doin’ it i’so I can find Sophia. So I can stay awake, focus, and get ‘er back. They use ta use this shit in war. War’s the reason methamphetamines even exist. Nazi’s? Hell, every single one of ‘em in WWII. Kamikazi’s loaded up, totally fuckin’ wasted outta their minds on crystal while they bolted ‘em in. Kept ‘em awake, kept ‘em happy, kept ‘em focused on the mission. Tha’s what I gotta do. 
I can’t stop lookin’ til I find ‘er. Sophia. ‘m the only one that can, only one that knows how. And anymore, ‘m the only one that seems to give a shit. ‘Sides Carol. And Beatle. She wanted ta come. Told her she’d only slow me down. Distract me. Drawn more geeks. She woulda. Told her I didn’t need food either but she packed me some anyway. Knew I wasn’t gonna be hungry. Knew I was gonna use this dumb shit to help. But whatever. 
Doesn’t matter what happens to me, right? My life’s not worth nothin’, not compared to that little girl. Now that her old man’s outta the picture she actually got a chance. Maybe not mucha one, not the way shit is these days. But she got ‘er mom. And ‘er mom can actually be ‘er mom now. Not scared of some piece’a shit prick that finally got what was comin’ to ‘im. 
Man fuck that guy.
The trail I’m followin’ disappears so I backtrack to the mangroves where I found her doll and try to find another one. 
I start to wonder what kinda old man Beatle had. What kinda mom? Startin’ ta realize I don’t know a damn thing about Beatle. I know she likes drinkin’, she likes laughin’, she likes fuckin’ with me. But… 
Beatle keeps surprisin’ me. Not just because she let me hump her face a few days ago, the fact that she liked it, shit I haven’t even had a second to process that. Nah, more cuz she hasn’t brought it up. Hasn’t tried to hold my hand again. Hasn’t been annoyin’ me nearly as much. Not even at all, if ‘m honest. 
My brain’s goin’ a million miles a fuckin’ second over Beatle and what happened between us. Not just the other night, but back then. Got questions that need answerin’ but she ain’t here. Try to keep myself occupied with trackin’ but it ain’t like trackin’ takes much thinkin’. Follow every trail I pick up, but none of ‘em lead me to Sophia. 
I’d prob’ly start gettin’ really frustrated about this, but that’s what crystals good for. All the dopamine I need, and nothin’s annoyin’. Focus.
✨🏹 
Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, walker guts. Trees and rocks and blood and mud and dirt and greens and browns and reds and blacks. And it’s dark and it’s light and it’s dark. And it smells fuckin’ rotten. Bent branches, wilted leaves, another trail, another dead end, another undead shithead. Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, Beatle. 
How many times did I go into Merle’s bag and take the devils dick up my nose? Cuz Beatle’s standin’ here right in front of me. ‘Cept she’s all done up in makeup and glitter and her pupils are the size of dimes. Little pink crop top, tiniest pair’a daisy dukes I ever seen. ‘n she’s in my face sayin’ the shit I been thinkin’ about her sayin’ since that day she said it. 
“I like you, Dar.” 
“You like bein’ fucked up more.” I say it like I said it the last time. 
“That’s not true! I mean - I like you, Daryl.” She steps closer, tries to put her hand on my cheek before I brush her off. She slumps back a little, turning away. “You like me, too. You said it.” 
My hearts in my fuckin’ throat and I’m standin’ there, this can’t be fuckin’ happening. I know is’not but doesn’t make it feel any less real. “Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle.” 
Hate that I said that to ‘er. Did I really say that? Cuz maybe that’s how I felt. Hell, maybe that’s how I felt last week. But it ain’t fair. I don’t know her. Still. Now. Don’t know ‘er at all. Thought I did. Thought I understood what kinda girl did those kindsa things. Is that really what I said? Fuck.
She’s still turned away from me, but I walk the half circle around to look at her face. And she’s sobbing. Silently, trying to stay as still as possible. I… I don’t remember this part. Maybe I didn’t see it? Nah, I saw it. Just didn’t care. Didn’t wanna look at ‘er. Didn’t want to hear her lame ass confession. Especially after she’d brought up that I told ‘er I liked ‘er. She sniffles and wipes her face before she pulls a bubble pipe out of the waistband of her shorts and lights the bottom, starts smokin’ it. She asks if I want a hit, like last time. 
I go to say no, but the words don’t come out. Instead my hand reaches for it. I look back up and Beatle’s dressed all different. Baggy jeans and a bikini top. That night. Fuck. Shit. I don’t want to relive that night. 
“I promise, I won’t tell Merle.” She says, handing me her lighter. And I smoke it. Inhaling the vapor slowly like she had. “You gotta sip at it, like it’s a coffee and you’re drinking the air to see if it’s still too hot. Roll the bowl or it will burn.” I do it the way she says. She’s like ten years younger than me, but she looks at me - talks to me like it don’t matter. Like she don’t see it that way. Guess I don’t either, never really did. 
I’d never wanted to smoke it before. But that night I wanted to. With her. Woulda done anything she’d asked that night ‘fore she ruined it. I ruined it. Til it got all fucked up an’ it was never the same again. Not the way I saw her, not the way she looked at me. 
I’m goin’ through memories like they’re happening all over again. Feelin’ fuckin’ sick. I don’t wanna remember this. 
I hand the pipe back to her and she asks, “How do you feel?” 
“Fine.” 
“Just fine?” She smiles. 
“Good.” I clarify. 
“Good.” 
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “I think I like you, Beatle.” 
She laughs too hard, “you think?” I feel myself getting sicker and angry again all at once. 
I split in half. One half feelin’ those same feelings I felt. That this conceited fuckin’ bitch really acts like everyone likes her. I hear her words and it sounds like she’s sayin’ ‘well obviously’ - but the other halfa me hears it like a real question. Like she wanted ta know what I meant. I don’t remember how I responded then, but I can hear myself say it, “Self-obsessed cunt.” 
Beatle laughs, “Is that what you like about me?” 
My misunderstanding continues; Thought she was pickin’ on me. Makin’ funna me. All these years. All this time. Thought she was fuckin’ laughin’ at me. Never told a girl I liked her. Not that I never did like one, just never told ‘em. Not like some teenage fuckin’ confessional. And I do and what?  she just laughs.  
Shit. 
Cuz inside ‘m screaming. Screamin’ at myself ta say somethin’ different. To jus’ tell her. She’s special, she’s exciting, and when she smiles at the shit I say it makes me feel like I’m the only one in the fuckin’ world to her. Tha’s what she wants ta here. Tha’s why she’s askin’. 
“Nah. Forget it.” She nods, and I thought she did forget it.  She forgot until she brings it up again in the memory I already re-lived. 
Tha’s how I was so damn sure she didn’t give a single shit about if I liked her or not. Didn’t bring it up again for months. Didn’t give a single shit about me at all. Felt stupid for ever thinkin’ she might. Just a dumb crush on a dumb girl, and I forgot everything about it. An’ every little thing she did that made me like ‘er ended up as somethin’ else I hated.  And every time I saw her after that she was fucked up on somethin’. Meth or booze or weed. Usually all three. 
It comes at me like a fuckin’ freight train, her lips crashing into mine, but this time I want it. Don’t wanna stop kissin’ ‘er. Instead my arms move and I push her down to the ground. She’s wearing the crop top again, can tell she’d been cryin’. She’s layin’ there in the rocks lookin’ up at me and I flash back to the living room where this happened, where she’d told me she liked me back. I wanna beat the shit outta myself for makin’ her look like that. 
How didn’t I see it? 
I did see it. I just didn’t care. Thought I knew what kinda girl did those kinds’a things. 
Wonderin’ what kind of old man she had. What kinda boyfriends before she met me. How maybe she’s just as fuckin’ scared’a feelin’ stuff as I am. How maybe it took her months to even get up the courage to tell me after I’d told ‘er never mind and slowly started to hate her. How many’a those drinks were for courage? How many’a those hits were cuz she was nervous?
Shit. 
And she’s runnin’ away like she did then. Away from me an’ outta my life until a few weeks ago. I know it ain’t real but I run after her anyway. Screamin’ her name into the open air like maybe somehow I can change it if I can get her to come back. But she’s gone and ‘m still running tryin’ to find her. Screaming for her ‘til my throats hoarse. 
‘Til the walkers hear me. 
✨🏹
Andrea fuckin’ shot me. What is wrong with this fuckin’ group?
✨🏹
Beatle’s in the bedroom with me but I can’t look at ‘er. Don’t wanna. Feels like she knows what I was doin’ out in them woods without ‘er. Like she can see the dirty shit in my soul and for some reason it makes me ill. Can’t look at ‘er. Knowin’ I hurt ‘er like that all that time ago. Knowin’ it now like I ain’t ever known anything else. 
It’s just me ‘n her and she doesn’t try to talk to me. Just lets me lay there hatin’ myself for all of it. Didn’t even find Sophia. 
Spent a lot of my days in my life hatin’ myself. Thinkin’ I was good for nothin’. Now ‘m sure of it. 
I feel the bed move under the weight of her. She hugs herself around me, and like some pathetic kid I fuckin’ cry. Don’t know if she can tell or not but she tries comforting me anyway. “It’s okay, Dar. You did your best.” Her voice… how could I have ever thought it was annoying? Her bein’ so nice just makes me hate myself more. 
“Lea‘me alone, Beatle.” Shakin’ her arm out from around me. She gets off the bed and sits back in the chair she’d been in. God, I fuckin’ hate myself. Wanna scream No, come back. I didn’t mean it. 
Still got question’s that need answerin’. This time Beatles right here, and I ain’t got nothin’ to lose. “Why were you naked in Merle’s room?” Grateful that she’s sittin’ behind me. Don’t think I could talk to ‘er ‘bout this stuff if she was lookin’ at me. Right now? If I saw her face? Don’t think I could talk at all. 
She laughs. Fuck her stupid fuckin’ laugh. “I still can’t believe you think I fucked around with Merle.” 
“Why not? Y’all hung out every other day.” My voice is sharp, feels like she’s laughin’ at me again. Always feels like everyone’s laughin’ at me. 
“We all hung out every other day, Dar.” 
“Stop callin’ me tha’.” 
“I was carpet surfing. Your dumbass brother spilled all the schkag all over the damn place.” 
Oh…. But, “Ya didn’t have any clothes on.” 
“I never had any clothes on, Daryl. You sure I wasn’t just wearing something ‘slutty’? You know, like you always said I was? Cuz I don’t remember, but I’ve never been naked with Merle. Ever. Sounds fuckin’ gross.”
Oh. 
It made sense. Makes so much sense, ‘specially now. She keeps talkin’ an’ ‘m grateful cuz if I tried to say anything else I’d start fuckin’ cryin’ again. “I liked you, man. I…” she stops herself. Wanna beg her to keep goin’ but I can’t. 
Instead I ask ‘er the only question I got left, “Why’d ya leave, then? Ya left ‘n ya never came back.” 
She’s silent for a long time. “When you and Merle moved, where’d you go?” 
She did come back. 
“Why’d ya leave, Beatle?” Doesn’t matter where Merle and I went. She’s avoidin’ the question. 
“Got sober. After that night… with you. Wanted to get sober. Wanted to…” she don’t say the rest but she don’t need to. I got it. Fuck, my heart can’t take it. 
“Cuz I said ya liked gettin’ fucked up more than ya liked me.” It ain’t a question. I know. 
“Think it was more the other thing you said.” 
Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle. I can still taste the words. “Shouldn’t’a said that to ya.” My voice is barely a whisper. 
She gets back up on the bed and puts her arm around me again, this time I don’t shake her away. Her voice, so close to my ear, “I didn’t want to tell you that I came back. I didn’t want you to know that I got sober for you.” 
What? “Why not?” 
“Wasn’t sure you’d care. And if you did… I didn’t want you to have all the what-ifs in your head that I have in mine.” 
She hugs herself into me so tight it’s hard to breathe, and she tells me, “It doesn’t matter anymore.” 
I feel guilty, can’t take any of that back. Can’t make any of it better. I don’t deserve this. Her. After all the nasty shit I ever thought about her. After what I did to her the other night. I can’t bring myself to tell her to leave cuz I know she wants to be here. Don’t wanna make her cry again. 
So I let her hold me. Even though I don’t fuckin’ deserve it. 
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honeyhotteoks · 1 year ago
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hi everyone ♡ a little about where i've been and why i'm not posting....
so... it's no secret that i fell off the face of the earth when it comes to writing, and for that i just want to apologize. i know a lot of you have been waiting for the next chapter of tnt, further aurora updates, or just looking forward to some smutty kinktober one-shots...... but to be completely honest i haven't written in a little while.
i've been trying to but i keep coming up short, and i've been avoiding this blog ever since because i just feel bad for not being able to give you guys the stories you're waiting for. for that reason, i essentially took a creative break and decided not to respond to any messages about writing. i know that kind of sucks, but i know myself and i didn't want to promise "soon" when i knew that wasn't true.
i'm starting slowly to work on things again, and i really hope i'll be able to share some of that work with you soon, but genuinely i just needed space from working on fic and to be honest..... from the fandom. i love being an atiny, but there was a swell of negativity on twitter for a while and i've been feeling a little uninspired with the past year of content and endless touring and it all combined into me putting things off.
i'm also................................ much more of a multi now.... which i really never thought would happen but here we are. i have no idea if i'll actually start writing for any of those groups, but if i do, i hope some of you also enjoy those groups and you stick with me. a little blurb about my new biases and the groups i'm now following, etc. is at the bottom of this post.
as far as what's going on with my ateez work? here's a quick recap:
this night together: still in progress, i have ~4 chapters finished, but chap ten and some of the time skips have me a little stuck. once i iron that out and finish out the last 2-3 chapters after the arc that's written, i'll get back to posting. at this point i'd like to have it done so i can release it confidently and as a complete story. into the aurora: i have about half of book one edited, which will include some new scenes / cleaned up scenes, but nothing crazy. i'd like to start updating old chapters once everything is finalized. book two is.... slow going. i'm hoping a breath of fresh air will help, but it's still my goal to come back to these characters. one-shots: i have about 4-5 ateez one-shots that are half written. my plan is to finish these and release them as inspiration strikes to wrap them up.
thank you all for your patience, and all of your kind messages. so many people have checked in on me both anon and not, and even if i haven't responded it's meant so much as i work on coming back to writing. i may not be able to respond to all the messages since so many of them are in my inbox, but slowly i may chip away at them
i'll see you all very soon~
(so chai multi era.... in a whirlwind of discovering other kpop groups..... i've ended up a carat, a stay, a moa, and a hidden kard. again, no idea if i'll ever write for any of these groups, but.... my biases are below so who knows)
seventeen - s.coups (regularly wrecked by hip hop line + dino) stray kids - lee know + hyunjin txt - soobin (are we surprised tho) kard - bm + jiwoo (but also like basically ot4 let's be real here)
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imagine-that-100 · 1 year ago
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Will We Talk? | Part 3 |
Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader | Being Katie Cook’s best friend means you see a lot of a certain band, so it’s too bad that the lead singer can’t seem to stand being in your presence. You’re all too aware that you get chatty when you’re anxious, and despite being around each other for a decade, Alex still makes your heart race (and not in a good way). But then he asks a question you never expected to hear, and it changes everything: “Do I make you nervous?”
Word Count: 17.4k
Warnings: Smut 
A/N: Well... It's been a minute. I can only apologise for how long this part has taken me to write but believe me this will be worth the wait because holy shit. Again a big thank you to @alovesreading and @kennedy-brooke for helping and listening to me complain about me having to write this chapter as I was getting more and more stuck (prepare yourself for me being the exact same with part 4&5 tho). Also a big thank you to @lottiecrabie for beta reading this and lottifying it for me, you're a genius. Thank you to everyone who has waited for this one, I wont keep you any longer, go enjoy it. Thanks a million for reading x
| My Masterlist | 
| Part 1 | Part 2 |
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Waking up beside Alex brought everything back to you and it hits you in the same way your hangover does your stomach. Sickeningly. 
Repercussions of what it all could mean give you a worse headache than you already have. Your body aches more than it has in a very long while. It’s easy for you to tell that it's not just the lingering alcohol making your muscles seize, it’s all the cardio Alex was putting the both of you through a matter of hours ago. 
So after lying in complete discomfort for 10 minutes, only focusing on the way your stomach is flipping and the steady breathing of the man on the other side of the bed, you get up. You head to the bathroom and you immediately go for a drink of water from the tap, followed quickly by using some toothpaste and some mouthwash to try and freshen yourself up. 
After using his toilet, you don’t even feel any remorse about turning on his shower. Once it’s a decent temperature, you walk in. You can’t even deny that this might be the nicest shower of your life. You fully let the hot water relax your muscles and you don’t think twice about using Alex’s stuff. 
You’re surprised the man actually has both shampoo and conditioner instead of a 2 in 1. After all, his hair is only just growing back and it’s still shorter than what it was back when they first got famous. You’re grateful regardless because it's good quality and it smells amazing, hints of eucalyptus with a smokey wood scent. 
Taking your time washing your sore body down with his shower gel, you gently start to hum along to a tune that’s managed to stick in your head, and you’re glad the shower seems to rid you of your hangover symptoms. 
You end up in your own little world, reminiscing about last night's activities as you wash your body. Every brush of your fingers, you can feel Alex’s touch. If you close your eyes you can picture it all over again and the ghost of the feelings he stirred up in you. 
It’s like tingles are running through your bones. Just the memory alone throws you back into the moment, like you can feel him on you, inside you, his skin against yours, his lips on y- 
“How are you feeling?” Alex’s voice startles you. 
He walked in a few minutes ago after waking up needing to go to the toilet and he couldn’t hold it despite hearing the stream of the shower. He didn’t want to invade your privacy, but he knew the frosted glass that split the room would shield your body from him if you didn’t want him to see it. It would be silly after last night anyway. The image of you is seared into his retinas. 
So after using the toilet and brushing his teeth, he turned to see that you still hadn’t noticed his presence. He can only glimpse at a blur of a figure behind the steamed glass, the temperature in the room getting increasingly hotter as the moments pass. He can’t help but want to see you again, which is why he decides to open his mouth. 
You quickly whip yourself around and see him standing just near the end of the glass pane that divides the shower from the rest of the room. Alex’s gaze is on your face, staying respectful and not lingering down, even though he’d seen you a matter of hours ago. 
Him startling you when you least expected has your heart racing, not to mention his actual presence. The fact he is still very naked in front of you makes your blood pound in your chest faster. Flashes of last night come back to you and it’s like you can feel him touching you again. Feel him kiss your skin again. Feel him insid-
Not the time Y/N. He asked you a question. Oh shit yeah.
“A little better after a shower, thanks.” You say once the shock of his presence dwindles a little. Unsurprisingly, you start to panic ramble, “Sorry for not asking, I should have- but I- I just didn’t want to wake you up.”
“It’s fine Y/N/N,” Alex brushes your apology off, and after a beat he asks, “Mind if I jump in?”
Trying not to let the anxiety show on your face as it creeps up your spine, you just nod and shrug, “Your shower.”
You were just about done anyway. 
You enjoy the hot water for a second more before you mentally prepare to leave the warmth. Once you say a silent goodbye to the glorious shower, you turn and see Alex has just stepped in, heading for the water. You go to move past him, and trail off, “I’ll just let you…” 
“You don’t have to leave.” Alex says as he catches your wrist, his thumb caressing your skin. 
Your eyes go wide and you can feel yourself about to stutter as you start, “But I-”
Alex interrupts, “Stay.” He doesn’t want to give you time to overthink but he also won’t push you. Though he appears pleased when you gently nod. You let him guide you back to the water. 
Although you’ve agreed, he can see there's still hesitance there and a hint of awkwardness that he wants gone quickly. In the best way he can, he addresses it directly and with a soft smile on his lips. “You know we fucked last night, right?” He holds his grin when he sees your eyes go wide, clearly not expecting him to say that. 
But going through your head is, No shit! What a stupid fucking question! How the fuck could anyone forget a night like that?! Forget someone fucking you like that… What a fucking idiot to even ask.
As it turns out, your thoughts are a little hasty, because Alex’s gentle tone continues as he lathers himself up in shower gel, saying, “You don’t need to feel awkward. I’ve already seen you.” 
Before you even know it your worries spill from your lips, “When we were drunk and we lost all inhibitions and I don’t know if you were blackout drunk or not, I don’t know if-” 
“I still remember.” Alex interrupts you, looking into your eyes and he takes your hand again and moves you back under the shower with him. 
While that in itself makes you feel a little easier, the fact that you don’t know where to look makes your mind spin. It feels uncouth to look down, especially considering you haven’t seen him look down either. But like he just said, you saw each other last night and it shouldn’t be awkward.
Christ, you weren’t built for the stresses of one night stands. Or friends (if you can even call him that) with benefits, or whatever the fuck this is. 
“You’re still gorgeous,” Alex assures you, “Please don’t overthink, just stay.” 
You gently nod again, trying to just not think about the fact that you're standing naked beside a man you barely know. Instead you close your eyes and enjoy the water again, blocking out the man washing his body beside you and you let your body relax as you tilt your head up towards the huge shower head and let it rain over you. 
Having a shower was always relaxing for you, a brief escape from the hectic days you tend to have and if shit goes wrong, a shower can most of the time fix the mood the day has put you in. It’s your safe space to decompress: you just let yourself calm down again, and enjoy the way the hot water makes you relax. 
Alex doesn’t notice what you’re doing straight away, not until he turns to start washing his hair and he sees you standing beside him looking all stoic. Suddenly, he can’t take his eyes off you. 
You look so at peace, as if all your worries and overthinking had been washed away by the water you’re both standing under. You look gorgeous with the way the various lights in the room are hitting your skin, almost making you glow in the warm lighting. 
It’s almost like he's watching in slow motion, how he watches the water trickle down your pretty features. Bouncing from your eyelashes and running down your cheeks until it reaches your lips that still look plump from your activities last night. Alex feels the urge to kiss you again, but he manages to resist. He’s only just got you calm, the last thing he wants it to unnerve you. 
Little does Alex know that he already sort of is. Not through any fault of his own as you can’t expect to be in the shower with someone and for them to pay no attention to you, but you can feel his eyes on you. Not in a creepy way in the slightest, but you can feel his gaze and the awkwardness is threatening to bubble back up your spine. 
Trying your best to suppress it, you take another few deep breaths and roll your head and your shoulders a few times to encourage your muscles to loosen up again. You really hate not knowing where you stand with him, but suddenly your mouth that likes to nervously chat away can’t even open. The last thing you want to do now is annoy him and for him to tell you to leave and it makes things messier than they are already bound to be with Katie and Jamie.
Oh lord, how the fuck am I meant to tell Katie? She’s going to disown me. Jamie will never be able to look at me again. I’ll never be Forrest’s favourite auntie again when I inevitably can’t see him anymore. I- No, stop over thinking. Stop. It.
Alex can practically see you cogs spinning in your head again so he gently encourages you to get out of your head and hopes you start chatting to him again. He’s never been in your presence and you’ve been so silent. The last thing he wants is for you to overthink something as simple as a shower.
“Are you still feeling okay?” The singer can’t help but ask as softly as he can so he doesn’t make you jump by interrupting your quiet moment. 
“I-” You clear your throat, “Yeah, I’m okay thank you.”
“Sure?” Alex questions, wanting to keep your brain as clear as possible,
You nod, smiling a little at the endearing way he double checked. Who is this man and what has he done with the Alex Turner you’ve been used to for the past decade?
“How are you feeling?” You ask, wanting to reciprocate the manners he’s showing you. 
“Good thanks,” He nods and smiles at you, “Little headache but we both drank a lot so it makes sense.” You try not to watch the way the water runs down his neck and his chest as he talks to you, “Was good in that club though. I enjoyed it.” 
“Yeah it was good.” You agree, trying to keep your eyes on his but failing every now and again, “No one bothered you either so I guess that was a little better for you too. Makes a night easier I suppose... Did you have a fun night with Jamie?” 
“I had more fun with you.” Alex smirks a little, not missing the way your eyes have begun to wonder slightly. He’s still sincere when he asks, “Did you have fun?” 
You know that he’s not talking about your night out anymore, he’s talking about your night with him and you’d be a liar if you didn’t answer, “Yeah.” You flush, asking him shyly, “Did you?” 
“Most definitely.” Alex hums. His focus is solely on you now. He takes a step closer to you, as even he can feel the tension from last night stir back up between you. He watches your reactions closely and when he sees his proximity doesn’t alarm you, he lowers his voice a little to ask one more question, his finger coming to trace your jaw as he does, “Do you regret it?”
You shake your head, keeping your eyes on his. You’re not letting your nerves get the better of you. “No.”
“Good.” Alex smiles and his hand moves from tracing your jaw to your neck where he cups it again. Before you can really comprehend it, his lips dip down and take yours in a kiss. 
It’s not a simple kiss. There’s heavy meaning behind it, spinning in the back of your dizzy head, seeping through your panting breaths, gripping his rough hand as it caresses your cheek, flexed and clenched like he’s holding back doing more.
It’s a losing battle. As soon as a moan spills from your hot mouth, Alex grips your waist and pulls you flush against him. Your chests rise and fall in sync, and there’s something even more meaningful knocking at the back of your head. It feels dangerous, like another border you’re crossing without even looking back. At least you know now it wasn’t just the amarettos on rocks making his kisses feel like your stomach might flip. 
You reach up, one hand finding his nape, the other digging into his wet hair. There’s a sense of you trapping him, wrapping him in a deadly trap he, thankfully Alex, doesn’t seem to want to even try escaping. Instead, he moves the both of you back under the stream of water so you don’t get cold, as though that was possible with your temperature rising with every artful swipe of his tongue. His hand practically burns at your waist, strong and present and callused, and soon you’ll need an ice bath just to recover from him. 
Alex steals every breath from your mouth and you give them to him without a second thought. It’s pathetically quickly that you can feel yourself getting wet, and not just from the stream of water pouring on you. It’s everything. His mouth, his tongue, his hands; from the way he’s touching you now to the way you can still remember him fucking you yesterday, like a permanent branding iron on your body that burns, burns, burns. Your heart races in your chest. You’ve never felt more alive.
Alex snakes a hand around your back, firmly holding you against him like you’re his prized possession, like he fears losing you down the showerdrain if he doesn’t trap you in his arms. He gets needy whimpers out of you, muffled by his eager tongue. You pull away when his hand falls to your arse and squeezes tightly, moaning into the hot, heavy air, into his open mouth that’s fucking smirking. 
Cocky, he runs his gentle hand down your cheek, butterfly kisses across your jaw, to settle on your neck. His dark eyes dig into yours as he squeezes, ready to catch every microreaction. You release a pretty soft sound for him, whining. His hand’s heavy and meaningful around your throat, hanging from it like he owns you. 
It only makes you more desperate for him. Needing to get your claws into something, you pull harshly on his wet hair. He groans, mouth hanging open in pleasure, and you use that to your full advantage to catch his mouth again.
Alex is hard against you; the knowledge that it’s you causing this reaction in him boosts your confidence tenfold. Enough to make you want to drop to your knees for him here and now. You’re pretty certain the singer wouldn’t mind.
The idea transforms into a need, soaking your thighs further. Eager, you let your hand run down his wet chest, sweet and worshipping, making him shiver against you. You drop it to his cock, just two light fingers touching his length, teasing him. He pulls away from your lips, moaning. His face looks down to the beginning show in wonder. You smirk. No, he wouldn’t mind at all. Slowly, you wrap around him. “Fuck,” he mutters. 
The noises you pull from him have you pressing your thighs together. Noises that you wish you could record and play on loop when he’s not there to help you; pretty, pornographic moans that vibrate against your cheek. You fall into his neck to kiss and nip and lick at, letting his sounds bloom into your ear. His hips jump into your fist, making you that more determined to continue stroking him, wanting and needing him to unravel, to be entirely at your mercy. 
But you know your mouth is ten times better than your hand, so you climb back up to his lips, leaving a quick, hot kiss, then biting his lower one. You tug and release, smirking at his hitched breath. There's a moment then where you both look at each other, lust the only thing in either of your eyes, and it’s as though the steaming water runs cold compared to the heat between your greedy bodies. 
There's a fraction of a second where everything changes. Time slows for it to happen. Still, your brain can’t keep up. Just as your eyes fall and you back away to allow your knees to sink and hit the tiles below, Alex grabs you by your hair with both hands, bringing you back up and pulling you into another kiss. 
It’s hard and hungry, and it takes you enough by surprise that you stumble back, unsteady on your feet. Alex follows, greedily allowing himself an extra second of the torrid kiss before he spins you around and pushes you up against the glass. The bitter coldness of the glass against your scorching skin makes you gasp, a rush of pleasure spreading down your spine. You can feel Alex’s smirk as he presses himself against your back. 
His arm snakes around your waist as his lips find home where your shoulder meets the base of your neck. Your thin necklace does nothing to stop his mouth attacking the skin there, biting, then soothing it away with his tongue. His fingers trail down between your thighs. With a moan, your head falls to the glass, cool against your skin. You throb for him.
His fingers brush your clit, making you gasp and whine for him before he dips his fingers down further to feel just how wet he’s made you. He can’t help but smirk against your ear, as if he’s not already almost completely hard against your arse. Gathering a pool of your arousal, he finds your bundle of nerves again, gently rubbing it. 
Slow teases on your clit make your head fall back on his shoulder and you can’t help but moan. You clutch his wrist with one hand in a silent beg not to stop. Sweet whines of pleasure escape your lips, filling the hot room with more than just the stream from the shower.
Without fully realising, Alex finds himself rocking his aching cock against you, causing your body to shift. Dragging your nipples across the cold glass heightens your senses more than ever. You’ve never dealt with such different intensities of temperature before, never known such staggering opposites could make your body melt and drip with euphoria. 
“This what you want, sweet?” You can feel Alex’s hot breath against your ear, “Want me to make you feel good again?”
Your moans are answer enough for him, but it delights him how he has you begging, “Please.” 
“Good girl.” He smirks, nipping the skin just behind your ear before he adds more pressure to your clit. 
Your hand blindly reaches to grasp something, but the cool glass beneath your palms doesn’t help at all. It slides off the glass, entirely unable to catch any resistance with the way the scolding water is still raining down on the both of you. 
Alex could get used to this. The way you’re filling up his bathroom with those pretty sounds that keep falling from your lips, making it very obvious that you’re enjoying everything he’s doing to you. He fucking loves how vocal you are, he loves the fact that you can’t keep those swollen lips of yours shut for him, and he revels in the fact he’s the one bringing you so much pleasure.
“Alex,” You whine out after a minute of him concentrating on your swollen clit, circling and circling until your legs shake under you.
He kisses his way up your neck as he huskily asks, “Yeah?” He focuses back on the makings of a bruise he left there in the early hours of the morning, proud and possessive at the sight of it.
“More.” You just about get out.  
You can’t really think of what else other than more. You need more. 
The way you can feel just how hard he is against your arse and how his hips keep grinding into your own is making you clench around nothing, begging and pleading to be filled. It feels criminal to be this empty at this point. You’re aching to be fucked by him again. 
“You’re greedy, sweet,” he tsks as he kisses his way down your neck. You push your hips against his, rolling them, hoping for something. He’s unflappable, pressing you back up against the glass as he asks, “Can’t be happy with what I'm giving you? You want more?” You nod furiously, mind too hazy to hear the danger in his tone. “Little pet thinks she knows better than me?” 
“Please,” You whine, high-pitched and breathy.  
It seems you’ve fallen right into his trap. Alex bites down on your shoulder, pain and pleasure blooming inside of you. The dominance, the power, the possessiveness has you clenching around nothing again. With the way your lower stomach knots and tightens and coils, you know your orgasm is building steadily. You just need more. 
You bite your lip raw trying to hold back cries, but he tuts in your ear, dragging it out of your teeth. “None of that, sweet. I want to hear you.” As though to give you motivation, he pinches your clit meanly. 
“Oh fuck, Alex!” You gasp. He smiles against your cheek, rewards you with tight circles on your bud again. He has you mindlessly begging now, “Please, please. Alex.”
“What is it you need, then?” Your mouth hangs open, incapable of forming thoughts and sentences when euphoria drowns you like this. Alex helpfully provides, “You need my fingers, is that it?” His hot breath sends goosebumps over your skin. He knows you like the way he teases you in these situations after last night's dalliance. He hums against your ear, “Whining and panting like a brat, I wonder if they’ll shut you up?”
Without another second of torment, the singer drops his hand until he can dip two fingers inside you. With how slick he’s made you, they slip in easily, stretching and filling you up. You cry out a, “Yes!” You’re shaking between his arms, so close and ready you might burst into tears if he doesn’t give you what you need. 
When they finally sink fully inside, you have to abandon your useless attempts to hold the glass in front of you. Instead, you reach back and root your fingers into Alex’s hair. 
You wish it was longer again so you had more to pull on, but your hold on him is enough to ground you to the moment, to him. Finally, he thrusts in and out of you, quick and deep like you need it. It’s shocking to feel how much he knows you, has memorised that dark night to the very last detail. And here you thought he wouldn’t even remember. 
He curls his fingers and electricity zaps through you. He easily finds the sweet spot inside you and hits it with every slide, sopping sounds filling the room as he stretches you open. You’re trembling, gripping his hair so tight you might unroot them. Your brain is too gone to worry about hurting him, drunk on the taste of him and pleasure.
“This what you wanted?” Alex asks, and all he’s met with is incoherent whines from you and a slack, furious nod. There’s an edge to his voice when he breathes,“Well, then. Aren’t you gonna say thank you?” 
“Thank you, Alex,” You immediately scream, too scared he’ll pull his fingers away, too addicted to bother arguing. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou.”
“What a good fucking girl, sweet.” You preen under his words. His hand caresses your hair, cooing, “So obedient, so fucking pretty.” He seems to itch to reward you for it when he asks, “Think you can take more?” Of course, you nod, wanting to be good for him and knowing you can handle whatever he has in mind for you. 
You don’t think you’ve ever released such a loud moan like the one that falls from your lips when he slips another finger. You’re stretched out, so full with three of his fingers inside of you. He’s fucking you open, determined and ruthless, pumping out all the sweet, fucked-out moans from you. Your cunt throbs around him, pleasure swooping low in your belly. God, you hope he never stops. This is everything you want and more. With every swipe of his digits, you feel yourself grow closer and closer 
“Taking it so well, sweet,” He breathes, choked from his own want. You grin at him, proud. “Doing so good for me, letting me fuck you like this. My favourite, little slut.” You clench around him at the name. He smirks, biting your cheek as he promises, “I got you.” 
You know he does, can feel it in the way he curls and fucks, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. Your lungs feel aflame, burning up in your chest. Your mind is languid from the ecstasy, melting and swirling in your skull. You can’t remember your own name, only his. 
“Are you close?” Alex teases, because he doesn’t need a response to know. “Christ, you’re practically squeezing my fingers to death.” You moan, your head falling on his shoulder, your hand holding him the tightest you ever have. 
Though he’s a little shit about it, Alex makes sure he does everything he can to give you your mindblowing orgasm. He cups your cunt, his palm hitting your clit. You have no shame, rutting against it, chasing that fatal end like it was your one true purpose.  
“Gonna cum for me like a good girl?” He breathes, looking down at the way your glistening body is reacting to him, chest rising and falling rapidly. He moves a hand to your tits, playing with the peaked nipples. Every sensation sends you a hit of true euphoria until you can’t tell where your body burns. 
He pinches your nipple and you whine pathetically. You’re so drunk on pleasure, you feel delirious, barely even able to get your words out. “Please, Al,” is all you seem to know.
“Yeah?” You can feel his smile against your neck. “Good. Cum on my fingers then, sweet. Show me what a whore you really are.” And when he bites your neck again, sheer desire just to make you feel him everywhere, you lose yourself. 
“Alex,” You cry out, and all of a sudden the pleasure is blinding, “Oh, fuck!” 
Your orgasm scorches your body in an overwhelming wave that buzzes to your bones. The singer works you through it, sickly sweet whispers of praise in your ear that intensify your pleasure tenfold. Alex has to practically stop himself from cumming as he feels you clenching around his fingers, along with the sharp tug on his hair as you clutch him tighter.
“That's it,” he whispers as you come back down from your staggering high. Before he slips his fingers out of you, he praises, “Good girl. Did so well for me, sweet. My best girl.”
Finally, he slides three soaked fingers out of you. The sudden feeling of emptiness has you feeling needy, and the haze of your orgasm lingering makes you dazed and unsteady on your feet. Thankfully, Alex has you tight in his grasp and he maintains that as you slowly turn towards him. 
You can’t even be angry at the shit eating grin on his face, you feel too cockdrunk to even care. He can let it feed his ego all he likes, in this moment you would do absolutely anything for him. 
So much so that you pull him in for a messy kiss, clashing teeth and swiping tongue. You’re still trembling slightly, from the orgasm and the intensity and the fact that it’s him. You press your body against his, feeling his hard cock against your belly. You moan. You need to rectify that right now. You pull away with the intent to drop to your knees again, but Alex’s hands holding your jaw clench, keeping you in place again, knowing exactly what you were planning.
Instead he shakes his head, “No.” 
You don’t understand why he won’t let you, especially when you want to make him feel good. So you demand the only other thing that you can think of. “Take me to bed.” 
But, again, Alex shakes his head. “We don't have to.”
He searches your eyes for some give, not wanting to make you do anything. He doesn’t care about his own release; he’s going to cum fast anyway with the show you just put on for him. He doesn’t need you to do anything for him, he just wanted to watch you unwind at his touch again.
“I don't believe I was asking,” You persist, looking at him sternly enough that you hope he doesn’t turn you down again. 
You want to make him feel good. You want him to cum as hard as you just have and you want to be the reason for it, the cause of his pleasure. You want it to be your doing. 
Thankfully whatever was stopping Alex from letting you sink to your knees for him, he seems to get over. “You want me buried deep inside you, sweet?” He coos, holding you impossibly close, looking at you like he can peer into your soul and pull out the most sinful parts of you, “Wanna cum again? Around my cock this time?”
It’s like there’s nothing else processing in your head other than the promise of him being inside you again. And, Christ, you do wanna cum around his cock, practically a need. Still, you whine, admitting, “Wanna make you feel good, too.”
Alex believes you. You’re holding him so tightly and looking at him with those big eyes that are practically begging to let you do something for him. He smiles, rubbing the stress behind your jaw. “Okay, sweet. Whatever you want.”
Alex turns the stream of water off and pulls you from the shower by grabbing your hand to keep you close. Before you leave the bathroom, he plucks you from the ground and into his arms. You squeak, but he mutes that with a kiss.
When he gets the both of you back into his bedroom, the cool air is a striking contrast to the heat that radiates from both of your bodies thanks to the steaming shower. Somehow, it adds to everything, heightens every sense and every touch Alex stimulates you with. 
Before you get used to Alex’s kisses or being in his arms, you’re thrown down on his bed, bouncing on the mattress. It should be embarrassing how much that turns you on, the sheer strength he threw you with, but you can’t bring yourself to care when you open your eyes to see him standing at the foot of the bed, looking at you like he wants to devour you. 
You lay across the bed for him, wet and pretty and ready, and his mouth waters. He knocks your knees apart to catch another glimpse of your glistening cunt. The cool air hitting you makes you gasp, but it’s music to Alex’s ears. All he wants is to lick and suck your swollen clit again, to dip his tongue back inside you, and have you mewling beneath him as he fucks you with it. 
But, of course, he likes to make a show of it. He can’t give you everything you desire at the drop of a hat. He likes to edge the both of you in that way. Instead, Alex takes his time to crawl up the bed between your thighs, getting acquainted and bruising the soft skin at the top of your legs. 
He can’t get enough of hearing you whining and moaning and the way you keep lifting your hips in search of relief faster. He just grasps them tightly and forces them back down on his mattress. Alex, not being strong enough to abstain from another taste of you, licks a bold stripe up from your entrance to your clit, eliciting a guttural moan from you as your hand flies to his wet hair. You tug on it, putty in his hands, as he starts devouring your already sensitive cunt. 
He’s licking and fucking into you, chin wet with your juices, you get a grip of his hair and tug him off you, desperately crying, “Too much.” You’re far too over sensitive after what happened in the shower. Another minute of him doing that and you would be cumming on his tongue again.
“Yeah?” He pouts at you, though you doubt there’s any real empathy in him. He’s far too pleased. “Can’t handle me eating you? Already too fucking fucked-out to survive it?” You nod, like you can’t hear the condescending tone in his voice. “What if I want a taste? You wouldn’t deny me that, would you?” 
Your lungs are burning. You might melt into his sheets if he doesn’t do something now. “Please, Alex.” 
“What is it, sweet? Use your words.” He pinches your thigh, making you look down at him. 
The visual of him between your thighs all wet from the shower and now with your slick on his lips and chin has you clenching around nothing. You beg him, “Need you.” and that makes the singer smirk as he starts crawling up your body, but not before leaving one last kiss on your clit. 
Those sinful lips of his trail kisses up your stomach and he makes sure to pay close attention to your breasts as he asks you, “Need me to fuck you dumb?” 
You swear you almost choke on your own tongue when he kisses up from your tits to your neck and you hear him say, “Have the only thing you can think about is how I fill you up? How good I fuck you? Make sure you can’t remember anything but my name?”
Murmurs of pleases come from you then, but for all you know you could be entirely incoherent as you just revel in the way Alex’s body presses against yours. Still, you must make somewhat sense, because he lines himself up and finally, finally, fills you with his cock again. 
“Fucking hell, sweet,” Alex can’t help but groan as he bottoms out, “Oh, shit.”
It takes everything in him not to cum there and then. But he won’t, he can’t, he has to make you cum first. With the way you look so cockdrunk beneath him, he doesn’t think that your release is too far away either.
Alex fucks you slow and hard first, making you feel every thrust of his cock as it buries inside of you over and over. Every drag of your nipples across his chest as he fucks into you. Every suck and nip and kiss on your neck, which he’s already abused more in the last 12 hours than your ex-husband ever did. Every single sensation is a perfect cocktail for a brain-wiping orgasm. You feel pleasure threatening the edges of you already.
He grunts each time he fucks into you, but it’s nothing compared to how loud you’re being for him. You’ve given up on holding back all the moans and screams, letting them fall down your chin and into his ears. He drinks them greedily, revelling in every way his name can come out of your mouth. 
His head flips to the other side, hand wrapping around your neck to tilt it and give him better access. While he kisses and licks at your collarbone, his fingers press into your throat. You gasp, a rush of pleasure striking through your body. Your body tingles, mouth hanging open. 
“You’re so fucking dirty for me,” he whipsers in your neck, then releases it. Oxygen rushes through you and adrenaline runs through your veins, doubling the ecstasy swimming through you. Your head feels hazy. 
Your skin is on fire. Both of your bodies are damp with a mix of the water from the shower and the new shine of sweat, but the contrast with the cool air and the way your chests are pressed together makes everything more intense. 
Your legs lock around his waist and your heels press into his lower back, needing him as close as possible. The feeling of him so deep inside you is everything you needed. You feel so full, so satisfied. You just need the split, the snap, the break.
“Alex!” He can’t help but fuck you faster, hitting your spot with every thrust. You can’t get used to the furious pace, digging your nails into his shoulders and scratching out your boiling pleasure. 
When you moan his name again, he can’t stop himself from teasing you, “So loud, sweet. Think I need to gag you, can’t stop that mouth of yours running.” You clench around him and he looks up at you gleefully. “Oh, you’d like that? Like being gagged and bound for me? Can’t move or talk as I get you off over, and over, and over, until you’re too dumb to even think?” Your cunt throbs and he laughs, so fucking pleased. “What a perfect, little slut.” 
With the way you scratch at his back, and pull his hair that your fingers are routed into, he assumes you enjoy his foul talking. “Just for me, right?” He fucks you harder and faster, punctuating his words and gripping your throat tighter as he grunts, “So loud, and All. For. Me.” 
Just like that, he has you cumming around him again. 
It's almost difficult for Alex to continue ploughing his hips into your own with how tight your cunt is gripping him, throbbing and clenching in waves that you don’t even notice because a white heat has taken over your body. 
You feel like you’re vibrating with the way the knot in your lower stomach snapped and you feel the wave of bliss tingle through your blood. It’s ecstasy at its finest, lighting you up and making you feel all gooey and dizzy and happy. 
Alex wishes he could continue fucking you, wanting desperately to fill you up with his cum, you haven’t discussed anything like that yet, and he didn’t put a condom on. It’s with massive reluctance that he pulls out of you and gets to his knees. He fucks his fist, arm flexed and strong, ready to cum on your stomach.
But again, you surprise the singer. Despite still being dazed, you push yourself up and before he can make himself finish, you stop him, grabbing his wrist to get his attention. When his eyes lock with yours, you tell him, teasing and filthy, “In my mouth.”
With a grunt, he scoops up to your chest, kneeling above you, hard cock over your head. You raise your head up to wrap your lips around him, smirking. Your mouth is warm and wet, enough to make him see stars. He knows there's no chance he will last. You suckle on his tip, before clutching the back of his thighs harder, pulling him closer and further into your mouth. 
You hollow your cheeks and make it messy for him, all spit and tongue and just focusing on him. But it lasts no more than twenty seconds because as soon as you take him down your throat maybe a grand total of five times, Alex shoots hot cum into your mouth and groans above you as he clenches a fistful of your hair. 
You swallow around him, making Alex choke out a gasp which has you smirking. Pulling off him, you make a show of it, head falling back into the sheets as you let him see what’s left of him in your mouth, before you swallow again. 
Alex's fingers are still rooted in your wet hair, and you look so pretty gazing up at him through your eyelashes, still all drunk on everything he’s given you. Christ, he would give you everything he has and more if he could have you like this all the time. 
“You’re filthy,” Alex grins down, entirely dazed and intoxicated with pleasure. “Where the fuck have you been, sweet?” 
~*~*~*~ One Day Later ~*~*~*~
“I’ll call you later today.” 
Famous last words. 
Because he has in fact not called you. 
Something which has made you question everything ever since he dropped you off about an hour after he came in your mouth on Sunday morning. The rest of Sunday was spent recovering, and today at work you’d been stressed, getting in your head about all the love bites that you had to hide, worrying over the fact you’ve yet to tell your best friend you’ve fucked one of her friends. 
Frankly, the consequences of your decision to go home with Alex were making you feel sick, worsened by the fact he has yet to call you. That’s why as soon as you finished work, you texted Katie asking if she was down for a wine night. Thankfully, she replied agreeing with a smiley face and wine emojis. 
That is how you’ve found yourself sitting in Katie’s lounge, chatting away to her, slowly putting off the inevitable.
You’ve already been here two hours. It’s 8pm and you’ve had more than enough wine to make your lips a little loose. You decide now is the time.
You take a deep breath before you commit to telling her. “Katie.” She hums in response as she takes a sip of her wine, focused on the label of the red bottle.
Here goes nothing.
“You’re going to hate me.” You let it sit in the air for a second. It falls heavily from your chest.
“I certainly doubt that.” She chuckles, but discards the bottle still, looking at you. She raises her eyebrows, prompting you to continue. “What’s up?”
Taking a deep breath, you ask, “You know the other night we went out?” 
“Yeah?” She nods, smiling at the memory of the fun night the both of you had. 
“I…” You elongate the word slightly before finally saying it out loud, “Had sex...” 
“Oh yeah?” Katie smirks, before leaning over to clink her glass of wine with yours, “So did I, check us out.” Clearly she remembers nothing about how you got home because she asks, “Who was your lucky fella?”
“Alex.” You drop the bomb before pressing your lips together.
“Stop.” Katie’s eyes go wide, letting her glass clink and swoosh on the table as she sits up. She leans closer to you and looks into your eyes, asking, “Are you fucking messing with me?”
Shaking your head, you moan, “I wish I was.” You feel your cheeks go hot when you pull down on your hoodie to reveal one of the huge bruises the singer left on you, “This cheap mark would not be here right now if I was messing about.” 
Katie’s jaw drops at the sight. The mark on your neck is so much darker than the rest of your skin tone, and if you didn’t have your hoodie on there was no way anyone would miss it. It’s fucking huge.
You think you’ve fucked your friendship as soon as the gasp leaves Katie’s mouth. When she starts laughing, you should be reassured that she’s okay with everything, but it unsettles you more, the sound entirely manic. A laugh that screams that she believes you’re playing the biggest practical joke on her of all time. 
In all honesty, it just shocked Katie to her soul. She can’t actually believe that you, the chatterbox that is her best friend, has shagged the grumpy rockstar singer that has never once uttered a word to her or Jamie about liking you in that way. She can see it though, she can imagine it was hot, but she is still so very shocked it’s difficult to stop the out of control laughter reaction. 
All you can do is rub your eyes for a second in an attempt to hide your face. After a few seconds, you rest your hands on your burning cheeks and gently drag them down as you ask in a pained voice, “Katie, have I made a huge mistake?”
“You’ve shagged Alex.” Your best friend's tone sounds entirely shocked with too much excitement still there to even answer your question. She has to say it out loud again, this time even louder, to even process it, “I can’t believe you shagged Alex!” But before you can even shush her, she turns and looks towards the stairs, yelling, “Jamie!”
“Katie! What the fuck, stop!” Your eyes go wide and you pray that Jamie’s selective hearing has come into play because you don’t want him here right now. You beg her, your hand even going out to hold her arm, “Please, I'm being serious. I'm freaking out.” 
“What are you freaking out about?” She still looks gagged, but now the excitement creeps in and she giggles, “This is brilliant.”
“How is this brilliant?” You ask, feeling your head whirring with every thought under the sun. You state the obvious, “It’s Alex.”
He’s one of her husband’s best friends. One of her close friends. You’re sure that this must cross some sort of unspoken friendship boundary. 
“Right?” She looks at you as if you’ve grown another head, clearly not understanding at all as to why you think this is an issue. “You’re surely not worried about me and Jamie having an issue with this, right?”
You think she’s losing it because of course that is a reason you’re freaking out. “Well, that is a part of my worry, yes.”
“Well, don't, because I'm buzzing for you.” Katie assures you, and she can practically see the way you let yourself take a breath. 
She wants to scorn you for being so worried about her reaction. It didn’t really matter if they were okay with it. As long as you and Alex were consenting adults and you were both happy with what was happening, then they wouldn’t stand in your way. But she can see your nervousness is deeper than just her blessing.
So your best friend asks, “What else are you worried about?”
“A lot of things.” You tell her as you press your lips against the rim of your wine glass. 
“Like what?” She asks, entirely calm again until her eyes go wide when she realises she needs to know more information, “Wait, how serious is this? Or is this a one time thing?”
If only you got a phone call, maybe you’d know. But alas.
So you just start from the beginning, “When he came to my house, he asked me if I was nervous around him because I wanted to fuck him. And when I stumbled on an answer he kept talking about it and we kissed. And t-” 
“Wait,” Katie’s jaw drops again and she almost shouts, “You kissed before we even got out?!” 
“Yeah,” You nod, trying not to think about the singer's lips on your own as you continue to ramble on, “And then I blurted out that I don’t do one night stands and he said he never said he wanted one. And then I said I’ve never done a friends with benefits thing. And then he kept flirting and teasing me all night and then the next thing I know, he’s going down on me on the stupid fucking orange settee in his lounge.”
Hearing that, your best friend desperately tries and ultimately fails to keep herself together. She wants to scream from the rooftops, but she can see your hand is over your mouth like you’re afraid to open it again. She's never seen you internally cringe so much since the first person you slept with after your divorce years ago. 
She’s trying to be the best friend she can to you, but ultimately she needs all the facts before she can give you her verdict, so she doesn’t really hesitate to ask, “How many times did he make you-”
“Five. I came five times.” You say through your fingers, as if you can’t believe it yourself. 
“Fuck off!” Katie gasps and slaps your arm. You’re in the middle of saying ‘ow’ as she shouts, “Five times! You’re joking?!”
“No.” You shake your head, rubbing the spot she hit. 
“Christ,” Your best friend looks at you a little jaw dropped again before she seems to regain some clarity when she tells you, “Hun, you are winning.”
“Yeah, well,” You mumble, shaking your head and taking a long sip of your wine, “That remains to be seen.”
“What do you mean?!” She hits you again then, and you frown at her as she groans, “I fucking wish-“
“Don’t,” you interrupt, holding your finger up, “You and Jamie have it very good! Don’t say-“
“Hun.” She deadpans, “We have a three year old child, do you think we have time for a session like that?”
“It wasn’t- He didn-“ You stumble on your words, feeling your cheeks get hot again and your heart start thudding embarrassingly fast as you explain in a whisper, “Some of it was the morning after.”
You can’t look at your best friend when you say that. Instead, you swirl your wine around your glass like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. It’s lucky you do though, because your best friend just about manages to pick up her jaw from the ground.
She starts grinning. “I can't wait to ask you every question under the sun about him now. I’ve not had the courage to fully ask the others. You’re my open book.” She chuckles, leaning forward to grab the bottle of wine from the coffee table before going to tip more into your glass, “Here, have some more wine.”
“Katie no, no.” You push the wine away from you, putting it down, your anxiety peeking at her finding this so funny when you’re about to have a meltdown. “This really isn't funny. Not today.” Only when you hide your face into your hands again does she realise you’re really on the verge of having a meltdown. You mumble, “I’m going to spiral and die.”
Katie decides to be serious for a second and comfort you. This has clearly been plaguing you and she can tell that you need her to forget that she knows him for a minute to help you work out what to do. 
“Okay, then tell me, what are you so scared of?” Your best friend asks, looking at you sincerely when she says, “This could be so good for you, Y/N/N.” 
It would be easier to ask what I’m not scared of, you think. 
But you tell her the thoughts running through your mind, “I’m scared I'll be wasting my time. I’m scared he’s going to get bored of me. And I'm scared that I've not felt that good or that comfortable with anyone that quickly in a long time… Christ, we had barely had a full conversation before the other day and now look at me.” You gesture to your neck as you carry on, “Massive fucking lovebite on my neck that I can’t cover up for shit and-”
“Breathe, oh my god, take a minute.” Katie stops you before you can continue any further. Christ, you’ve really wound yourself up this time, so she promises you, “You’re okay. It's okay.”
“Is it though?” You inquire, “Because he said he was going to call and he hasn’t and I’m not sure I want him to because I feel like, I dont know, what the fuck- “
“Hun, listen to me, calm down.” Your best friend stops you from falling down the rabbit hole by grabbing your hand and giving it a firm squeeze as she again promises you, “You’re fine, this is fine. You’ve just tried before you buyed and that can’t hurt. Like if he was shit you could bin him off, but now you know you’re at least going to have exciting sex.” 
“But is that enough?” You can’t help but wonder out loud, “I don’t even know if we’ve got anything in common, Kate.”
You’re not stupid. You know this thing doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship, but you can’t see yourself sleeping with someone for a long time if the only thing you have in common is liking to make each other climax. Christ, it’s too stressful, you’re really not cut out for this. 
“You have lots in common,” She assures you, and she smiles a little as she admits, “I’m surprised that this hasn’t happened sooner if I’m honest.” 
“What if it doesn’t work out?” You have to ask for your own peace of mind, “What if I make it awkward with Jamie and then you-”
“Y/N. Stop.” Your best friend interrupts, not letting you continue, “No spiralling allowed. Just let yourself enjoy it. God knows you deserve it.”
That, you can’t really disagree with. You’ve not been with anyone for a long while. You certainly deserve to have some fun, and considering she doesn’t seem to be fussed that the person you're having fun with is Alex, you guess that you’re willing to continue whatever this is if he wants to. 
“But he didn’t call,” you say, and your voice breaks at the end. 
Katie gives you a look. You don’t like that there’s a hint of pity in it. “I’m sure there’s a reason,” she assures you, then she thinks to ask the obvious question, “Did you give him your number?”
You blink at her. “Well, no,” You admit. You flush, looking away in embarrassment. “He said he’d call me like he already had my number. I just thought you or Jamie might have given it to him way before now. My number’s been the same for years.”
Katie can’t contain her small chuckle hearing that, “You’re stressed about this and you didn't even give him your number, Y/N.” 
You smile hearing how it sounds, but stress, “He said it like he had it already, Kate.”
“I just think that you’re best not to stress out until you know for a fact he has your number. I haven’t given it to him before, I don’t know if Jamie has.” Your best friend smiles at you before picking up your wine again to give it to you. “Can ask Jamie if he has though. Jamie!”
Your stomach drops again at the thought of Alex possibly already having told Jamie and still no phone call from you. It worsens when you hear Jamie start coming down the stairs and Katie turns to you quickly and asks, “Please can I tell him?”
You start to bargain, “You can see if he knows but don't just outrig-“
“Okay deal,” Katie interrupts excitedly before shouting, “Jamie, come here.”
You both see him walk leisurely down the stairs and when he makes it to the hall, Katie waves him over, “J.” When he turns around and walks in, you see he’s on the phone. 
“Yes if you still really want to. Kid is in bed so do not ring the doorbell. Right, bye.” The guitarist says before putting the phone down and back into his pocket as he gives Katie wide eyes and asks, “What darling, I’m trying to put your child to bed.”
Ignoring the ‘your’, Katie asks, “Jamie, did you know that Alex and Y/N shagged the other night?”
“Katie!” You shout, not believing she just told him like that.
“You’re joking!” Jamie’s eyes go wide in shock and he immediately looks from Katie to you asking, “Did you actually?!”
Katie teases and answers for you, “Yes, she did.” You want to curl up in a ball of embarrassment and die. 
“Stop,” You close your eyes for a second, so you can ignore the smug look both the Cooks are giving you. “I’m fucking mortified.”
Regaining his ability to function properly after a shock like that, Jamie shakes his head and thinks out loud, “That makes so much sense now.”
You’re thankful Katie asks, “What does?”
“He’s been asking after you all weekend.” Jamie grins looking at you. “I was wondering why he was asking for your number.”
“Did you give it him?” Your best friend asks expectantly, needing to know to answer your earlier question. 
And all is revealed when the guitarist admits, “Well, no.”
You breathe a little easier at the same time Katie scolds and slaps her husbands arm, yelling, “What the fuck Jamie, why?!”
“How was I meant to know they’d already fucked, Katie. Christ, that hurt.” He rubs his arm and backs away from the settee. “I didn’t think you’d want Alex trying to shag your best mate.”
The blonde shakes her head, “She’s been panicking all weekend because he’s not called her.”
“Wait, is this like a friends with b-” Jamie starts to question but his wife interrupts. 
Thankfully she answers for you, a lot harsher than you would have probably gone, but at least you don’t have to comment after she tells him, “She would know what they were if you gave him her phone number, you moron.” 
“I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t know.” The guitarist apologises sincerely. 
You assure him, “It’s okay, J,” before finishing what's left in your wine glass.
It wasn’t like he was meant to know. And you’re very grateful that Alex hadn’t already told him. But your best friend isn’t so forgiving. 
“No it’s not.” Katie frowns at her husband, “You should have given it to him straight away. You know they’d be good together, we’ve talked about it before!”
“Three fucking years ago, Kate.” He reminds her, before once again apologising to you, “Sorry, Y/N.” 
But after hearing that, it’s your turn to be jaw dropped, “What?” 
Katie sighs, clearly hoping to never have to tell you this but she admits, “I was going to set you up with him before he got with Taylor, but then he went back to LA and next thing we knew he had a girlfriend.” 
The mention of Taylor and the memory of what happened there cracks open a whole other can of worries in your head, but thankfully you don’t have to deal with that today. You keep that buried as you hear the Cook’s front door open and a familiar voice rings out into their house, “Hello.”
Your eyes go wide as you ask, “Is that?”
“Alex, yes.” Your nightmare is confirmed by Jamie as tells you and his wife, “He’s calling round for his guitar that he left the other day.”
You try and hide yourself back into the settee, mumbling, “Fuck my life.”
“Sounds like he did.” Katie smirks, which makes Jamie laugh. You want to die. 
But unfortunately, you can’t call her out on it because Alex walks into the room. Of course, he looks fucking drool worthy and he’s not even trying, jeans, white top, and a mustard cardigan. His hair still at that awkward unruly length where he couldn’t yet style it so he just let it be and god you hate him for looking so good.
He’s smiling when he comes into the room clearly pleased to see his friends but when his eyes drop to you, there’s a certain look in his eye that has your skin erupting in goosebumps. A knowing look that for a brief moment, everything that happened over the weekend floods back to the forefront of both of your minds.
As you’re silently seething at him for looking like a wet dream come to life, your best friend gets up with a big grin on her face and she hugs the singer quickly. 
“Hey, youuu.” She draws out in a way that is so telling, you want the earth to swallow you whole. 
Never in your life did you think Katie Cook would be so fucking shit at being subtle. But apparently when it's best friends involved, subtlety doesn’t exist. 
“Katie.” Alex smiles at her, clearly realising why she was being so over the top. Regardless, he hugs her back before releasing her, and then his eyes land on you and he nods a silent hello and smiles, “Y/N.”
Your smile back at him, and it's clear for everyone to see that you’re a little embarrassed, but that's no surprise when gossip is in the air. If ever they thought you would be a little more reserved, it was certainly in a situation like this. 
“I’ll get you another glass of wine, Y/N.” Katie comes back towards you, which is a little ridiculous considering your glass is quite full from the hearty pour she gave you earlier. Still, she grabs it, then nods at Alex. “I’m assuming you’re driving, Al, so I’ll make you a brew.”
He nods and smiles, “Thanks love.” Katie grins back, before turning towards her husband.
“Jamie,” she demands, “Kitchen now.”
The guitarist isn’t one to go against his wife, so he stands up without a word and follows her into the kitchen. As soon as the door is closed, Alex looks down at you and states, “So… You told Katie then.”
Please God let the earth swallow me whole right this very second. Please… Please… Please… Fucking dick. 
“Couldn’t really keep it from her,” You shrug, defending yourself. After all, it’s entirely your decision who you tell or not. You can feel yourself get all hot and bothered at the subtle mention of it, “She’s my best friend and you work with her husband so I-”
“Don’t look so panicked,” Alex says as he takes the seat next to yours. He tells you, “It’s okay. It’s not a secret.”
As he passes by, you get hit with the now familiar scent of eucalyptus and it throws you right back to being in the shower, him pressing you up against the glass with his fingers inside of you. It hits you all at once making it difficult to think but ultimately you know you have to carry on and not give into what you can only describe as war flashbacks.
You’re about to carry on, “I-” But Alex cuts you off;
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you,” He tells you sincerely. He looks into your eyes as he softly admits, “I’ve been trying to get your number off Jamie for the last two days and he was being a stubborn piece of shit.”
“It’s okay…” You find yourself relaxing as you tell him, “I think he’s about to be ripped a new arsehole for that, so no need for you to go in on him.”
Alex snorts at that, expecting nothing less from Mrs Cook’s wrath. As his laughter subsides though, he takes his phone from his pocket and holds it out to you, “Can I get your number then, please?”
You’re almost shocked for a second, but instead of letting that show, you nod, “Yeah.” You take it from him. 
He lets you navigate your way around the phone until you’re typing the numbers into a new contact. It takes you less than 30 seconds to create your contact, save it and hand it back to him, but he surprises you when he then taps a button and puts the phone to his ear. 
Clearly, you know it’s your phone that’s about to ring, so you raise your eyebrows and ask, “Did you think I’d give you a fake one?” 
It’s no surprise at all that your phone starts buzzing away on the coffee table where you put it down earlier. You don’t even make an attempt to get it, you just watch as Alex smiles almost victoriously and tells you, “Just making sure.” 
Both of you share a smile then, but unfortunately, it only lasts a minute because the married couple comes back in with your drinks. Katie is still grinning like she's just won the lottery when she sees the two of you beside each other, “Took my seat, did you, Al?”
“Sorry,” He apologises and goes to stand up, “I can-”
“No, no,” Katie stops him, instead she heading to sit on the other side of the settee, “Stay sat next to your l-
“Do not finish that sentence,” you interrupt, but it’s too late.
She trails off singing, “Loverrr.”
Never before have you wished you could die but it looks like now's the time. Fucks sake. 
Alex presses his lips together, finding this a little too funny even though he shouldn’t. He doesn’t mind her taking the piss a little. It wasn’t like he ever told her he was interested in her best friend before, so he guesses this is to be expected. It’s something he needs to take on the chin. Your reaction however, he finds hilarious.
“I hate you,” You frown, rightfully demanding, “Give me my wine.” Your hand reaches out expectantly.
And thank Christ she’s poured you a large glass, because you definitely need it. As soon as it’s in your hand, you take a long sip of it, needing it as a coping mechanism at this point. 
You don’t care if they are all looking at you, you just need the wine. Who would have ever thought this would be a Monday night? You’re certainly going to regret this tomorrow, but you can’t bring yourself to care at this moment. 
“So…” Katie trails off, still grinning. She's now sitting beside Jamie on the other side of the corner settee, so you can’t even kick her.
Alex repeats, “So…”
But you're still looking at your best friend and you hate the way she’s smiling like the Cheshire Cat. You warn her,  “Stop grinning, you’re making me so uncomfortable.” 
“But there’s much to smile about.” She teases, looking at you and Alex and getting even more excited. 
“Stop it.” You tell her, reaching across and managing to slightly kick her shin. She fakes a gasp as the lads laugh. 
“Who knew you were so feisty.”
Jamie smirks, adding to the jokes because he can’t help himself, “Alex might have some insight on that now.” Alex takes a sip of his brew that his mate previously handed him so he doesn’t give away any reaction to that.
You don’t have quite the same reaction. Instead, you threaten him, “Imma ram your guitar up your arse if you don’t close your mouth.”
Katie sees her opportunity to joke and takes it without a second thought, “Ooo, kinky.”
It makes Jamie laugh and Alex can’t hold his chuckle. You just end up closing your eyes, wishing they would just give you a break. This time, you choose not to respond to it, instead taking another long sip of your wine. 
The next five minutes are filled with subtle hints that you don't rise to, and thankfully a normal conversation ends up seeping back in. You don’t nearly speak up as often as you usually would. Although that could be down to the wine, you know it’s because you’re biting your tongue so you don’t accidentally get more jokes thrown your way. 
You’re happy slowly drinking your wine and people watching how the three of them play into their dynamic. It's clear they have been friends for so long, and it’s really endearing to see how comfortable they are together. It makes you all the more glad to have Katie in your life, someone who makes you feel so at ease and gently pushes your boundaries from time to time, but it ultimately makes you closer.
You're so lost in your thoughts that you don’t really pay much attention to the conversation at all. In fact, you couldn’t tell any of them what it was about, but you didn’t exactly mind until Katie realises you’ve been mostly silent for a while now and she can’t help but tease you again. 
“Nothing to add, Y/N/N?” Your best friend asks you, and when you tune back in and realise you’ve got no clue what they are on about, you just press your lips together and gently shake your head. You would hope it’d get you off the hook for not listening, but you’re not so lucky. 
Instead it makes Katie’s smile grow, and she has the opportunity to lightheartedly tease again, “Cat got your tongue? Or is your throat sore?” 
It takes everything in you not to spontaneously combust, because you’re sure you could with how hot your cheeks immediately go. You make sure you avoid all eye contact with Alex so you can get your response out, “Ride on that, slut.” You accompany it with your middle finger.
“Come on, lighten up.” She laughs, “Jesus, who knew you could be this quiet with enough wine?” Your best friend jokes, and your lips tug up into a smile when she continues, “Is this a miracle?”
Jamie knows his wife is just trying to include you in the conversation again, so he chips in on the joke and adds, “Should I check if pigs are flying outside?”
“Nice to finally get a word in.” Alex chuckles in jest, looking from you with a smile and back to Katie and Jamie who are already giggling too. 
His comment feels like a bullet to the chest though and the smile instantly falls from your face. It makes you remember him telling you to be quiet in bed with him, and again now. It makes you want to curl up into a ball and disappear. It's not your fault you’re a chatty person or if you nervously ramble, it makes you feel so insecure and that’s not how you want to feel on top of everything tonight.
You release a short sigh and mumble under your breath, “Like you ever talked to me before you wanted to fuck me.” You take a sip of your wine and focus on the happy couple across from you. 
In your peripherals, you see the singer's head snap back to look at you, but you pay him no attention after that comment. You still just want to disappear into the settee though, especially after that comment. 
Thankfully the Cook’s have continued on with their little jokes and have paid you no attention. Jamie turns back from looking out of the window and tells you like it’s breaking news, “No flying pigs, must mean you’re okay?”
“Mmm,” You hum, taking another sip of your wine like you believe that’s the only reason you’re well. Playing up to it, you ask, “What was the topic of conversation?”
Now, when Katie sees an opportunity, she rarely doesn’t take it. So you’ve pretty much lined it up for her when she lies and says, “We were discussing if mirror sex, choking, or dirty talk is most advantageous to encourage a woman to climax? Care to share your view?”
And with that, you’re gone. 
“Right.” You down your wine then, feeling your cheeks go uncharted hot in embarrassment, and you stand up in protest, announcing, “I’m walking home.” 
Looking at the clock you see it’s almost 10 anyway and you have to be up early for work, so it’s best you head out of this mad house sooner rather than later. And it will give you a break from having fun poked at you.
Katie starts manically laughing at that, and Jamie chuckles. Alex does too, but he can’t help but offer, “I’ll drive you.”
“It’s fine,” you brush him off, not needing the extra awkwardness that a journey home with him would entail. That, and you don’t want to be a burden to him. “I can walk.”
“I literally drive past your house.” Alex turns to you. He insists, “I’ll drive you.”
“Okay,” you give in, knowing you’ll feel safer and it’s fucking freezing out. “Thank you.”
He smiles at you then and you just about smile back, before you turn and go to get your coat
“Ever the gentleman, Alexander.” Katie smiles and just as you're about to leave the room, she stops you and stands up, “Y/N, a word please.”
You suppress your sigh, abandoning your mission to get your coat and get out to head into the kitchen with your best friend. As soon as the door is closed, you wish you never bothered though. 
“What are you wearing under here?” Katie grins, spinning you around so she can get her hands on the bottom of your hoodie. She tries to lift it up as she asks, “Do you need to change into something sexy real quick?” 
“I’m not shagging him tonight, Katie.” You say seriously, but you can’t stop laughing as you pull your hoodie back down, “Stop.” 
“Come onnnnn.” She whines, but giggles again when she starts trying to get at you again. 
“Katie,” You warn her again, pushing her off you and you can’t help but laugh and yell, “Jamie! Get your wife off me!”
Thankfully, your hero Jamie Cook comes to your rescue and when he’s in the room she lets you go. As you make your way out, you briefly brush past Alex who’s heading into the kitchen with the empty mugs he and Jamie had. 
You look at the ground, not daring to look at him after the shite your best friend has just been spouting. You head towards the front door with Jamie in tow behind you. Once the mugs are in the sink, Alex is about to head back towards the lounge to grab his jacket, but Katie gets his attention instead.
“Al, despite what you’ve just seen me do, don’t tease her.” Katie tells him quietly, being serious for a second when she says, “She doesn’t like to be teased.”
He raises his eyebrows and tells your best friend, “I beg to differ.” You definitely like to be teased, both verbally and physically. 
Katie has to mute the laugh that she wants to let out, because she needs to be serious when she tells him, “In this setting, dipshit. Don’t tease her. Don’t make her overthink it.”
“She’s overthinking what?” He frowns a little, not understanding what you could be worried about when everything was out in the open and it wasn’t a secret. 
“Nothing yet.” Katie doesn’t spill all your secrets. She thinks it's best to let you settle for a while now after knowing it wasn’t on purpose that he didn’t call. But she needs Alex to know, “But if you tease her, she will. Be gentle.”
Alex has to press his lips together for a second to try not to smile, because he knows all too well you don’t like it gentle either. He tells your best friend, “You’re making it difficult not to make jokes.” 
“Just give her an easy time of it. I can get away with stuff, but she still doesn’t know you or your humour very well.” She raises her eyebrows when she says, “And you certainly don’t know hers.” 
Alex begs to differ though, “I think we’re quite similar, are we not?”
“That’s something you should be finding out for yourself.” She pats his cheek a few times, and she grins when she says, “You picked a gooden, darling, you just got to not fuck whatever it is up.” But all of that means nothing without the threat of, “Or you’ll have me to answer to.”
And Christ if that isn’t warning enough, Alex doesn’t know what is.
~*~*~*~
“You’re being weird.” Alex finally says. 
You’ve been alone in the car with him for two long awkwardly silent minutes. Looking out of the passenger window like the roads were the most interesting thing in the world in effort to not have to communicate with the singer. 
This time you’re singing a Sam Fender song in your head to bypass the time, trying and failing not to feel disgustingly awkward around him. But you can feel the tension in the air. You can feel the way his eyes keep lingering on you, the way he wants to initiate a conversation but is waiting for you to. Good luck to him. After that comment earlier, you certainly won’t be doing that. 
Clearly he feels the atmosphere between you as well. The ‘you’re being weird’ was entirely unprompted considering you’re just sitting in his car, rubbing your hands slightly in your lap because of the cold. 
“No, I’m not.” You glance at him a little shocked he even said anything. 
“You are,” Alex tells you, glancing at you and when his eyes find yours, you can see they are knowing ones. After you look away from him, he asks, “Do you regret it?”
“No, I-” You pause before deciding to be entirely honest, but it makes your cheeks hot when you admit, “I really don’t.”
It makes Alex very happy hearing that, but it doesn’t explain your behaviour, so he presses on, “Then why are you being quiet?” 
“Because I don’t want to annoy you.” You say quietly, still not really wanting to look at him again. 
“You don’t annoy me, Y/N.” Alex assures you as he looks over at you again before turning the corner at the junction. 
You frown at that, your head snapping back to look at him when you begin to argue, “But you said-”
“I was joking, sweet,” Alex interrupts, not wanting you to feel uncomfortable around him at all. He manages to look at you as he says with a cheeky smile, “It’s endearing when you run your mouth, even more so when you can't keep quiet in bed.”
The mention of it has your body flashing with heat. You have to stop yourself from shuddering at the thought. You warn him, looking away embarrassed, “Not helping.” 
Alex laughs a little at that, but he wants you to open up with him, so he asks again in a chirpy tone, “What’s up? Come on, tell me.” 
“I just- I’m in my head about it a bit.” Trying to explain as best you can, you continue, “Thought I’d really fucked things between me and Katie when you didn’t call… And I know it’s not your fault, I should have just given you my number, but the way you said it made it sound like you already had it. I was panicking thinking I can never be in same room as you and t-” You catch yourself, hearing how you must sound so you stop and sigh, “I'm rambling again.” 
“It’s cute.” Alex smiles almost wishing he wasn’t driving so he could study your reactions.
“It’s not cute,” You shake your head, smiling a little when you admit, “I was ready to bin your albums.” 
Alex’s jaw drops hearing that, and he sees you already looking at him when he asks, “You were going to bin my music?” 
You nod, confirming it’s the truth, “Puppets albums, too. Maybe even Miles’ from the association.” 
“Terrible.” He chuckles, unable to stop smiling as he turns the corner onto your road. 
Thankfully after that, the last 30 seconds of the journey to yours is a silent but comfortable one. You’re a little surprised he remembers your house number as he pulls up exactly outside it, but as you’re taking your seatbelt off and Alex pulls the handbrake up, there’s an expectant air between you where you both clearly want to say what’s whirring around your minds. 
You’re silently talking yourself up. Just do it, Y/N. Ask him. Ask what he wants. Ask if he wants you again. Tell him your conditions. Come on, do it. Don’t be a pussy and do it. 
Do. It.
Before you scare yourself out of saying it, you blurt out, “Do you want to fuck me again?” But at the same time Alex asks, “Can I take you out?”
Alex answers you before you can even really process what he asked, “Yes.”
“Well you’re not going to until you get to know me better.” You give your ultimatum, “I need to feel comfortable around you so if you want this,” You gesture between the two of you, “To continue for a while, we need to get to know each other.”
You don’t want it to seem like you’re asking for a relationship out of him, because you’re really not. All you want is to not act so awkwardly around him all the time. You don’t want to be the nervous rambling girl he fucked once upon a time, you want to be entirely yourself. You want him to know you properly. Experience you at your very best. 
“So I’ll ask again,” Alex smiles, not having an issue with your proposal at all, “Can I take you out?” 
You grin back, trying to ignore the way he’s looking at you makes you want to melt. You agree, “Yeah, when and where?” 
“Tomorrow night?” Alex suggests, “Could just come to mine and we can talk? Start off small and go from there?” 
“I think we’d both just fuck again if we did that.” You say honestly, “Need to go out somewhere to start with.” 
You just know you’d cave if he started teasing you again. You feel all gooey at the thought of it now, and it’s not like you don’t want him to touch you again, but you need to set that boundary for yourself. And you’re thankful Alex seems to be willing to work with you. But not without making your squirm somehow. 
“Is it the worst thing if we fucked again?” Alex grins, and it’s a cheeky one. A smile that makes your heart race.  
“No,” You admit, “But I’d like to feel comfortable enough around you to not be nervous all the time.” 
Alex nods understanding entirely. He didn’t really expect you to be okay with just fucking him and then leaving it until the next time. He knew some work would have to be done in between and getting to know you really isn’t a hardship for him. That would be trying to let himself open up to you. 
“Okay well, what about the cinema?” Alex thinks out loud. 
“I’m not one to not watch a film so if you’re suggesting that so we can just get off with each other in the back like teenagers in American films, that won’t work for you either.” You prewarn him.
“Believe it or not, Y/N,” the singer starts, incapable of not grinning. Of course you would think he’d try to start something in a cinema. He assures you, “I really like watching films, so I’d be sharing popcorn with you and that’s about it.” 
You smile, liking the sound of that, but curiosity gets the better of you, “Sweet or salted?”
“Salted.” Alex tells you.
And that makes you gasp. No one else you know likes salted popcorn. You’re always forced to eat sweet all the time when you’re out with your friends or family.  
“Thank god someone else likes salted popcorn!” You say rather excitedly, already practically tasting it on your tongue. It makes you all the more excited for tomorrow now. 
It makes Alex all the more enamoured by you. And he can’t help but think it's rather funny that you seem very excited by the thought of salted popcorn when he now associates you with sweet. 
“When do you want to go?” Alex inquires. 
You think about it for a second before you realise it doesn’t matter too much, “I finish work at half four, so anytime after five.”
Alex nods, knowing that works for him completely fine. It’s not that he has any work to do considering he’s not due back out on tour until way into the new year. He can work around you entirely, and he hopes that you can make the most of each other's company until then. 
But then he realises he doesn’t know maybe one of the most obvious things he should know about you. He asks curiously, “Where do you work?”
“At the high school that’s like ten minutes away.” You tell him and you can see the surprise fill his features.
“You’re a teacher?” Alex asks with clearly shocked eyes, and when you nod, he looks even more shocked, following up with, “What do you teach?”
You shake your head, finding this a little too funny. He knows how to make you cum but he doesn’t know what you teach. This is so backwards it’s difficult not to laugh, “This is why I need you to get to know me.” 
“You’re letting me take you out on a school night,” Alex realises, sarcastically adding, “Scandalous.”
“Shut up.” You playfully roll your eyes, before you tell him off in true teacher fashion, “And I’m not impressed with you anyway.”
The singer smiles, “Why, sweet?” 
Trying not to get all flushed at the nickname, you scorn him, “You gave me a massive fucking love bite on my neck, and now I’ve got to wear a fucking scarf whilst I’m teaching.” 
Alex chuckles, but he stops himself to say a quick, “Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.” You narrow your eyes.
“You’re right,” He lets his smile shine straight through now, admitting, “I’m not.”
You tut at that, still trying to be serious when you truthfully tell him, “I had to go out and buy turtlenecks earlier.” 
“It’s the weather for it at least.” Alex smiles, not finding a bone in his body that makes him regret ever leaving a mark on you. He would make them all again given the chance. “I’m sure no one would notice” 
“In what world.” You ask, moving the collar of your hoodie so he can see the mark he gave you. 
And Alex’s lips tingle and his dick twitches at the sight of it. It’s so prominent on your skin, easy for anyone to see that someone had claimed you as their own in the heat of the moment. He doesn’t blame you for covering it, but Christ he wants to make more of them. 
Despite him seeing how bad his mark is, he plays it off like you could have gotten away with it, “I’m sure the kids wouldn’t have noticed.” 
“I teach sixth formers.” You tell him, “They definitely would have and they’d have called me out on it, too.”
“Oh dear.” Alex chuckles, and he promises you with a playful smirk, “Scouts honour I’ll leave one you can hide next time.” 
“One track mind.” You chuckle and shake your head before opening the door and getting out of the car, “Good night, Alex.” 
“Wait a second.” Alex laughs, winding his window down so he can catch your attention again.
“What?” You ask as you step onto the pavement and lean down so you can continue to speak to him. 
“You never told me what you teach.” Alex says as you lower yourself to his height again.
You smile at the fact he even wanted to know. But you don’t hesitate to tell him, “I teach economics.”
“That’s interesting.” Alex hums, his gaze subtly falling to your lips with you being back in such close proximity to him. 
You hum in agreement, “It is.” knowing what he’s doing but choosing not to pursue that right now. 
When his brown eyes look back up and meet your pretty ones, Alex smiles when you say, “Thanks for the lift.”
“Anytime.” The singer grins, “Night, Y/N/N.” 
You smile and maybe it’s liquid courage that makes you lean in to kiss his cheek, but you don’t regret it for a second, “Night, tax evader. See you tomorrow.” 
~*~*~*~*~*~
Over the past fortnight, you and Alex saw each other a handful of times. Two of which you were out with your friends and three times it was just you and him. The first was the cinema like you agreed on which went very well. 
The two of you stopped at a nearby restaurant to get some food before the showing where you found out a fair amount about each other. Thankfully, nothing put you off him in the slightest and with the way you were both quietly giggling and chatting at the comedic moments the film had and still after it finished when he drove you home, you like to think that he had a good time with you as well. 
Nothing happened that night, nor did it on Friday night when he took you out again. This time it was a stand up open mic night he took you to and it was a lot of fun. Again, you felt a lot more comfortable with him, so many less awkward moments than there were when he first picked you up earlier in the week.
Alex couldn’t help but find your nervous rambling endearing though, but with them you always had something interesting to say which sparked up more conversation between you. The singer kept making mental notes of your likes and dislikes and you found that you got on incredibly well and you had a lot in common, just like he previously guessed you would. 
Saturday night followed and per tradition, you and Katie had your wine night at hers, this time joined by Kelly and Kirsten. Yes, you were teased quite a bit by them when they found out, but thankfully when the boys came back from their night at the pub slightly earlier than expected, you weren’t teased when they joined you. 
Instead, the alcohol had loosened your lips and you were very engaged in the conversations going on. There were brief moments when you lost yourself though and they were down to Alex. 
You would catch him looking at you, and the looks were nowhere near friendly like he would glance at the other girls. There was something behind them and he made that clear with the way his eyes would fall to your tits or to your lips. Subtle clearly wasn’t his forte when he was horny and tipsy. 
All of that just increased the sexual tension between you though, which you guess couldn’t hurt if you were to eventually use each other again. Something that as the days went on, you silently prayed for. 
Wednesday ended up being a random night out for you all. It was Kelly’s night with the kids and she invited the Cooks out to go bowling after school, something which you and Alex ended up being invited to so you could fill up the extra spots they were paying for. 
It turned out to be a good game, the kids enjoying themselves which was the most important thing, but it was also fun because you and Alex had a little competition going. When Alex guttered his second ball and he caught you snorting at his mistake, you ended up playing to try and beat no one else but him. 
It was fun, the way you could feel his eyes on you as you threw the ball. And when you’d turn back after each shot, whether it was a good one or not, he would always be looking at you with a smirk. You think he liked that you gave him pretty much all of your attention, but you didn’t even try to hide how happy it makes you in the moment. 
Unfortunately, you ended up losing your little rivalry by a measly 5 points. Alex acted like it’s a 50 points defeat, rubbing it in. You poked his side which made him jump to try and teach him a lesson, but it just made him chuckle. He threw his arm over your shoulder as all of you walked out of the bowling alley. 
Friday night rolled around again and the big group of you went out to a bar together. The way you and Alex were around each other that night made it difficult to keep to your ultimatum. 
Despite knowing him a lot better, you still hadn’t touched each other since your first night together. Yes there were lingering touches, the brush of his fingers on your skin that lit a fire inside you, but nothing more. That night, however, was more than just lust-filled longing glances at each other. 
As soon as there was a hint of alcohol in both of your systems, Alex barely left your side. You always had his hand either lingering around your back in an effort to keep you close or resting his palm over your jeans-covered thigh. Sometimes, he would squeeze you to keep you on your toes. He certainly had your heart racing.
It was difficult to keep your mind from wandering, but you’re only human. You allowed yourself to ever so slightly lean into his touch on occasion, let him press you against his body and subtly flirt back with him both physically and verbally. But even when you bid each other goodbye that night, you didn’t even get a kiss, which left you needy and wanting him after he’d been such a tease all evening. 
Wine night was again the following day, this time it was just you and Katie. You couldn’t get the feelings from the previous night out of your head still. He felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch as you weren’t really aware of the protocol between you, especially since Alex had been the one to arrange your previous encounters. 
Thankfully, tonight Alex had messaged you on the off chance you were free. Since you were doing nothing but spinning your LPs, you agreed to let him whisk you away to an impromptu dinner. It was nice, nothing out of the ordinary now, just the both of you sharing more stories about your lives over a few drinks before you suggested finishing the bottle of wine that you bought for the table back at your house. 
The energy between you tonight was nothing short of electric. Every longing glance between you felt like a bullet striking you. God, was he good at looking at you like he wanted to devour you. He was able to flick the switch between friendly to flirty in such a natural and smooth way that he always took you by surprise. Forever giving you goosebumps, making you press your thighs together, and heating your cheeks. 
You’d been back at yours for about half an hour when Alex got up to search for another record to put on. He settled for an old French album he hadn’t long since discovered which he was surprised to find stacked on your shelf. Again, he complimented your taste and collection. 
His praise still made you feel all gooey inside which mixed with the alcohol was stirring up more sinful desires in you. It only got worse when he spotted tarot cards on your shelf beside a few of your ornaments. It made Alex tease you a little more before he fully realised that you found that sort of stuff quite interesting.  
The singer came and sat beside you, even closer than before, as you explained it to him. And despite you knowing he wasn’t retaining any information, the smile he had on that pretty face of his kept you talking at him. He couldn’t help but grin a little more when you mentioned that you can read palms too. 
“You can read palms?” He asks, all wide-eyed and disbelieved.
“Yeah, it’s really easy.” You grab his hand that’s closest to you to show him what you mean. “See, you have five main lines on your palm: Life, Head, Heart, Fate, and Sun.” You trace each one as you go. 
“The life line, despite what you may already think, doesn't mean how long you’re gonna live. It can mean a bunch of different things like big changes in your life or good genes. People also think that if it’s a bit straighter on some people's hands it can mean you’re more cautious when it comes to relationships.” You say as you let your finger trail up the line that starts from the base of his palm up and around the ball of his thumb.
“The head line is about your knowledge and creativity, so if it's straighter on some people it means they tend to think more realistically. A curved line can mean you're more artsy and creative too.” You smile, seeing that his head line is a little curved, matching what he’s like in life. After that you move on to the line that runs just under the bottom of his fingers, “The heart line is to do with romance and emotional stability, so like yours is short and curved so that tends to mean someone is more private about relationships and stuff which makes sense considering you’re a private person.”
Alex can’t help but mostly watch you as he listens to you tell him about your little hobby. He finds it funny that you know all of this stuff, but he finds himself entranced as he can’t stop looking at your lips as you’re sitting so close to him. He wants them on his own again, the kisses on the cheek when you were saying goodbye to each other the last few times he’d seen you weren’t enough. He’s so enamoured he almost forgets to look at the lines you’re showing him.
“Fate line is how likely you are to follow certain paths in your life. And the sun line means different things for everyone, depending on how prominent it is.” You explain, glancing at him still smiling away as you continue, “Yours is deep and that means you’re successful and it's theorised that you can get famous from it which I guess is right in your case. Mine is quite clear and that means I have good taste in literature and art.”
Alex can’t help but quietly tease, “And you’ve only got good taste in that because it’s written on your palm then, not because you actually have a fully functioning brain and can appreciate masterpieces for what they are?”
“It’s all just a bit of fun, Al. It’s interesting!” You laugh but you have to defend yourself. 
“Very interesting how you know all about it.” Alex grins, loving the way he has all of your attention when he jokes, “Is there a delusional line that I should look out for?”
“Okay,” You fake a pout, but then you remember what you found in his car on the way home from the cinema, “I don’t tease you because you still have Match Attack cards from when you were a teenager.”
“Hey,” He gasps, ready to defend himself in an instant, “My Mum gave me them back, it's not something I still do.”
And you know this. When you saw the files of them on the backseat of his car, you questioned him on them and he told you his Mum found them and gave them back to him. But that’s currently your only leverage so you use it against him. 
“Regardless,” You raise your eyebrows, a smile playing on your lips, “Still just as nerdy.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Alex rolls his eyes and holds his hand out to you, “Let me see your palm then. Let me try and read you.”
You try and fail not to let your smile show as big as you want as you hold your palm out to him. The singer shuffles even closer to you, so your thighs and shoulders are pressed together and you're cosy beside each other. 
He lets a finger trail down your palm as he asks, “Remind me where the delusional line is?” 
You scoff, pulling your hand from his and flipping two fingers up at him, “It's here.” 
The singer laughs loudly at that then before gently grabbing your hand and opening it back up to focus on your palm. He traces the lines there gently and it sets your skin ablaze, tingles running though your skin. 
He looks at your hand so intently for about 10 seconds before gently humming, “Hmmm, interesting.”
“Why?” You ask, a smile growing on your lips as you ask, “What are you thinking?”
He tells you, “I’m seeing quite a lot.”
“Oh, you’re seeing it?” You grin, playing along.  
“Of course,” The singer looks at you, his eyes full of playfulness, “I’m a professional.”
You nod, trying not to laugh, “Of course.”
Eyes back on your palm, you try not to think about the way his touch makes you almost shiver. But then you start focusing on his hands. 
Those hands that made you come undone so easily. Those fingers that had been inside you and made you feel things you hadn’t felt from anyone other than yourself for the longest time. The thought makes your breath shallow and your thighs press that little bit closer together. 
“Wow,” Alex continues, “I can see this really clear.”
You ask, your cheeks starting to hurt from grinning for so long, “Really?
“What?” Alex looks at you again, he makes you feel hot under his gaze when he asks, “You don't believe me?”
“No, I do,” You lie without hesitation, loving how playful this feels, “I’m just curious about your professional opinion.”
“Well,” Alex smirks and then glances at you out of the corner of his eye, “You're in luck because I can see it all right now.”
“Right.” You nod, a little giggle falling from your lips too. 
Alex loves hearing it and knowing he’s the cause of it. Even the way you bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing so you can carry on playing along, he finds it adorable. But he doesn’t stop; he carries on, loving the way you react to him. 
“Wow, oh wow.” Alex drops his jaw, pretending to be completely enthralled in reading your palm. Now he nods, “Yeah, that's really clear.”
You smile, full of curiosity, “What is?”
“I’m seeing,” Alex looks up from your palm with a smile playing on his lips, and tells you confidently, “That you’re going to fuck a rockstar.” 
It takes everything in you not to laugh. All you can do is tilt your head and ask him with your lips twitching up, “Is that so?” 
“Yeah…” Alex nods, intertwining your fingers with his now and he gives you a little tug to encourage you closer, “I’m happy to oblige, if you’d like that?”
You don’t hesitate to move where he wants you, even closer when you move so you’re straddling his lap and Alex’s free hand finds your hip and he pulls you that bit closer before letting his thumb run over your skin that's showing from the way your top has ridden up. 
You’re smirking at each other, knowing exactly where this is headed now. The tension of the night building has hit its peak and this is it.
“You seem very confident about this reading.” You grin.
Alex’s smirk only grows at that, but this time he leans in so he can whisper as his lips brush up your neck towards your ear, “It’s written on your palm, I’m just offering you my body here.”
You hum at that, letting your free hand move to the back of his neck and up so your fingers could root through his hair. What you don’t expect is that when you give it a small tug so you could see him as you spoke to him, it causes the man that's under you to grip your hip tighter and buck up into you. You gasp at the friction. 
Alex moves back from your neck after leaving a gentle kiss there, and he’s smirking when you say breathlessly, “I’m getting the sense that you only wanted me to read your palm so you could tell me that really shit pick up line.”
“Can’t be that shit if you’re in my lap, sweet.” Alex raises his eyebrows cockily at you, a devilish grin playing on his lips.
And God, you want to kiss it off. So much so that you narrow your eyes and say, “Oh, shut up,” before your lips hungrily find his.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 
A/N: Really hope you enjoyed this one! I know I did!!! How do we fancy a lil jealousy from both of them thrown into the next one. Let me know what you want to see and I'll see if i can make it happen! Thanks so much for reading and again while you wait for me, please go and read my other Alex fic @nriacc or @alovesreadings fic Constant Repeat. Enjoyyyyy x
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cressthebest · 6 months ago
Text
Crimson Rivers thoughts part 37
chapter 56:
1. 😦 they.. they put a mask on sirius? they put him in azkaban?? my boy!! no!
2. 😭😭 sirius having already killed three guards tho. i love him
3. “Bastards they may be, stupid they are not.”
4. “At least he gets the sound of his own voice, though, which is a huge improvement in his opinion.”
he’s so funny i love him. he’s a murderer! he fell in love with a servant! he loves the sound of his own voice! he’s demisexual! he volunteered for regulus twice! he likes wood carving! he called the random guard “stuart”! he convinced the head gamemaker to change the rules so he can keep his brother and best freind! he continues to obnoxiously sing when face to face with riddle!
no one is doing it like him, i fear
5. “"Sounds like you've had a shitty week," is what Sirius says, finally, when he can bring himself to speak.”” 😭😭 he’s so bold. my dear, you are chained in front of the most dangerous man in the world and you tell HIM that his life fucking sucks. my dear. the ABSOLUTE GALL you have
6. “"I need not lie, Sirius."
"Yeah, that's what liars say."”
my DEAR
7. “”Kneel down on the floor before me like a dog and beg."”
i prefer this out of context. but in context, it’s riddle being an absolute bitch to sirius. like excuse you.
8. “Sirius Black is many, many things, but a peasant before a king is never and will never be one.” A-FUCKING-MEN
9. 😮 did sirius just BITE OFF A CHUNK OF RIDDLES ARM??? praise be
10. marylily?? marylily??? MARYLILY??? going feral at any and all hints towards them
11. “"I like your legs," Lily says stupidly, because her brain and mouth have disconnected briefly, apparently.”
bbg i’m in love with you 😭😭
12. aww any mentions of petunia from lily break my heart
13. lily being so desperately in love with mary is my new drug
14. REMUS AND LILY FALLING RIGHT BACK INTO ROUTINE WITH BEING OBNOXIOUS TO EACH OTHER >>>>>>>>
15. “Lily gave him his [cigarette] first in six years days ago, and he'd coughed through the whole thing, then smoked five more back-to-back.”
16. “A stranger is just someone you haven't met yet. What do you call someone you knew better than yourself that you no longer recognize? A ghost?”
wtf wtf wtf that’s insane to write. lily and remus did NOT deserve this
17. “Lily has never known a Remus afraid of freedom, and Remus has never known a Lily afraid of love.”
18. “because they're still two bodies and one heart after all this time, if nothing else.”
that is beautiful and i’m forever grateful of the way the marauders fandom puts emphasis on the importance of friendships. like, this isn’t about a romantic couple. that is said about FRIENDS. friends got that description of their love for each other.
19. the fact that their friendship is so close, remus can REACH INTO LILY’S bra (to grab a cig) and she’s just upset cause his hands are cold.
20. crying actually, cause of all things to break me this chapter, it’s the fact that sirius and effie smoke together
21. oof i have a bad feeling about how dorlene is gonna end up
22. 😦😦 marlene gives the ring back. wtfffff damn that hurtsss
23. “”I am telling you this explicitly, right now, if you shoot your shot and fuck up in any way, I will let her pick a part of your body to take as a trophy, then remove it and give it to her. Still interested?"
"Even more so," Rodolphus says, wiggling his eyebrows. "She's got crazy friends, too. That's hot."”
me fr 😌 give me insane bitches (oh wait. maybe IM the crazy person)
24. 😳 practically fifteen seconds of flirting and he and barty decided to go fuck. that’s fucking insane. IS THIS HOW ALLOS ARE??? LIKE THEY CAN DO THAT??? (not all allos obviously, but some can do that??)
25. the way servants (slaves) are treated in the hallow make me angry beyond belief. like, seething white hot anger
26. FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!!! THEY FIXED JAMES’ EYESIGHT AND IM SO FUCKING PISSED
27. riddle tortured sirius and lemme jsut say, if someone told that to remus and regulus, the war would be over in a day flat
28. “The odds are not in Riddle's favor. If you ask James, he'll bet on his people every fucking time. It's not a game of chance, or luck, but a game of faith—and James has that in spades.” james’ loyalty is probably my favorite character trait of his
29. honorary authors note mention: “also lmaooo sirius literally in prison and still killing people 😭 he really said: you put me in prison, im gonna commit crimes, duh 🙄 he's everything to me”
30. honorary authors note mention pt 2: “rodolphus "i will hit every step on the crazy ladder if it kills me" lestrange living his truth and getting with the most insane, available people he meets every chance he gets””
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