#i still havent seen the live show recordings either

[katyasghoulfriend]

do you know how to record livestreams? thinking of buying a ticket to rcg's live show in two weeks... u going? so pissed off they didn't release gang cracks the liberty bell on halloween! nightman cometh would've been due just before the live show too -_-

whenever im recording something to post a video or make gifs i always just screen record on my phone so idk how to do it for something longer like that!

i havent seen the new podcast ep so i didnt even know a live show was happening lmao sksksks but if its near new york and i have money then perhaps👀

[roseworth]

still talking about mean girls sorry!!(<- not sorry)

this is probably the only time i will ever say this about any movie musical. but ive seen the stage show and the new movie and i can definitely say i preferred the movie. it fixed so many of my problems with the musical and honestly the story just works better onscreen to me

[inke-ri]

Gonna try to watch ep 3 today but I just wanted to explain a bit of why the claiming sequence and Annabeth throwing Percy in the lake in ep 2 bothered me.

The first reason I already mentioned in the big liveblog post: setting the scene at the canoe lake paints Annabeth in an unflattering light. In the book, her decisions are strategic in nature and make sense. She puts Percy as a border guard, trusting that Clarisse is going to bite bc of her need for revenge. Clarisse and the Ares cabin being distracted by Percy leaves their team without their best players, allowing Luke to win the game -- Clarisse is livid that Annabeth has outplayed her. Annabeth also actually SEES Percy get pushed into the creek and how the water gives him strength, so she can after the hellhound attack tell him to step into it again.

The show *kinda* does the same but not really? She just leaves Percy in the middle of the forest, and the way Clarisse approaches him does not make it seem like she was actively hunting him. It's /possible/ she put him on the top of the hill to be seen too but? Without the book that was kinda unclear. Clarisse also straight up says she doesn't care about winning, so we get no payoff about Annabeth's strategy and how smart she actually played it. And of course, they do a whole bit by the canoe lake but Percy doesn't fight in the water at all. Ofc, the idea here is Annabeth figured it out from the toiletwater shenanigans, but then why have to test him further? It takes away from her own anxieties and biases, how she didn't /want/ to see that Percy was a Poseidon kid. Now she just knows and is smug about it. It's not too poorly done, just less nuanced.

The second reason is more important to me tho: I don't like that Annabeth physically pushes Percy in the lake bc in the first book she doesn't really physically press, hurt or bother him, no matter how often he thinks that she will.

And it was a pattern I found extremely sweet. It's implied Percy comes from a physically abusive household, or at the very least the difficult way he was raised lent him to always end up bullied, getting in fights, and getting punished for one or both. He's always tense and defensive, he always expects the worst. And I always loved that Annabeth NEVER lived up to that subconscious expectation, not even when they're not properly friends yet. It goes from Annabeth pulling her knife and he expects her to hurt him but she doesn't, to Percy arriving from Ogygia and thinks she's gonna punch him and she hugs the heck out of him instead.

Of course, it's just not something Rick bothered to keep going forward: see Annabeth's infamous judo flip. For the record, I've seen the many posts talking about it like she was abusive in this.. She really wasn't. Heck, her throwing Percy off a cliff later on and stuff like that isn't bad either, he's trying to showcase the trust they DO have in each other. But it STILL broke a pattern I REALLY loved in the books before it - if this was Percy's pov, he would probably imagine she looked angry enough to flip him, and then she WOULD. She was anxious and hurting and afraid, it was valid, and it was a cute little moment, but it still makes me kinda sad (I still maintain that she should have hugged him first, THEN flipped him before he could react, heh).

I think - bc I havent watched the new ep yet - that what Rick is going for is trying to ACTUALLY give Percy and Annabeth a rivals to friends to lovers arc, cause in TLT they never really had that. It was Annabeth trying to be his rival and Percy getting annoyed by her but at most he's just "okay but WHY do we have to?? WHY can't we get along??".

and that's FINE. It's cute in its own way. It just immediately breaks that pattern of Annabeth never really living up to Percy's negative expectations. Percy has been thrown around, physically and emotionally, for years. Annabeth is doing something similar here- she didn't need to be physically mean to him and "humiliate" him so he'd get in the lake, it's no wonder she pisses him off and he wants nothing to do with her. It's probably gonna make their eventual friendship/romance feel very nice. I just. REALLY liked that pattern, and it was one of the things lost in adaptation that I really miss :(

[ot3]

Hey! I wanted to ask whats the deal with revue starlight, Ive watched the anime but there seems to be a lot of other material and I kinda get confused. In what order should I watch what or how does it work? (Sorry if this is worded badly? I dont know how to write)

okay, sure. detailed list of revue starlight canons (to the best of my knowledge/cross-referencing) below the cut.

movies

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight: Rondo Rondo Rondo

compilation movie that retells the story of the anime in a condensed form for theatrical release. other than being interspersed with scenes of nana commenting on the revues, and an alternate ending scene, more or less equivalent to the original anime. I'd recommend watching the ending scene if you're gonna go watch the next movie

- gekijouban shoujo kageki revue starlight

the revue starlight movie! INSANELY good. continues the canon of the anime to show the 99th class beginning to plan their lives after seisho graduation in their third year. incredible beautiful. the pinnacle of the franchise. please watch it

stageplays - havent seen all of these but the ones ive seen have been fun.

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight -The LIVE- #1

beginning of an alternate canon. a different telling of hikari and karen's promise and the initial revues, featuring different revues between the characters and a different premise for the revues. the girls' teacher, souda-sensei is a proper character in this edition.

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight -The LIVE- #2 Transition

continues from the previous live show's canon. three students from the competing seiran art institutes and their sensei come to seisho on exchange and challenge the seisho girls to revues to stop them from performing starlight the seiran girls are fun and coming in with a lot of beef. even the teacher's got beef. the gang squashes their beefs.

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight -The LIVE Seiran- BLUE GLITTER

a spinoff stageplay following the seiran girls. i haven't seen this one yet so i can't say too much what its about!

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight -The LIVE ONLINE

havent seen this either. this is just a short little thing to transition between the events of live #2 and live #3 as the girls enter their third year of high school

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight -The LIVE- #3 Growth

the girls third year of high school in the stageplay canon. i have also not seen this.

stageplay manga adaptations - what it says on the tin. manga adapted directly from the plot of the stageplays. these are pretty neat to read and have some cool visuals

- Stage Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight -The LIVE- SHOW MUST GO ON

adaptation of the first live

- Stage Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight -The LIVE- #2 Transition

adaptation of the second live

- Stage Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight -The LIVE Seiran- BLUE GLITTER

adaptation of the seiran blue glitter play. this is still currently ongoing and not yet completed.

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight Saikai Eyes~74th

manga adaptation of a short story that was included with the blue glitter bluray. follows the story of souda-sensei and yakumo-sensei, who is seiran's instructor, during their youth.

non-stageplay mangas

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight Overture

prequel to the anime canon, with a brief bit at the end following events immediately post-anime

- Yonkoma Starlight

4komas.

live concerts - not much to say about this. just live performances featuring some songs that werent seen in the show/lives/etc. you can find studio recordings of all these songs or videos of the live performances of each one on youtube pretty easily.

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight 1st StarLive "Starry Sky"

seisho only.

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight 2nd StarLive "Starry Desert"

primarily seisho only, but opens with a couple of songs performed by the girls from Siegfeld - one of the competing schools from the gacha game's canon. the second half of this concert has live performances of the revues from the anime with choreographed fights and new dialogue, which is fun. i haven't seen all of it.

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight 3rd StarLive "Starry Diamond"

features the characters from all 4 schools in the gacha game's main storyline. the first half is all seisho and then in act 2 the rest of the girls (the rest of the available ones anyway, this doesn't have a complete cast due to scheduling and covid difficulties) join in. then, some of the songs from the gacha game are sung, followed by the last portion being new revues themed around constellations that the girls perform in mixed school groups

a lot of the starry diamond revue songs are really fun - zeus no chuusai is one of my favorite songs in the franchise. also, the revue for uragiri no crete is really fun if you want to see maya and nana go beastmode on each other.

the fucking gacha game canon - listen just hear me out on this one.

- Shōjo☆Conte All Starlight

An anime of chibi shorts that originally premiered in the mobile game itself and then was later released on youtube. I'm listing this first because I genuinely think it's REALLY funny and charming, I love it a ton. I think it's a fun introduction to the characters from the gacha game. you should just watch this if you have the time because its really short in the grand scheme of things.

- Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight Re LIVE

the fucking gacha game. takes place in the anime canon after the series, but before the movie. arguably the bulk of content for the entire franchise is here. the main story is really good. alll of the little event stories are really fun. they give the characters cute little outfits. a ton of the new characters are really cool and have a lot of depth and even the ones that don't are perfectly fun and charming. the gameplay is the worst thing in the entire world and this game suffers from the most miserable powercreep on the planet.

Three new schools are introducted: siegfeld, frontier, and rinmeikan. they all have some insane shit happening there. it's fun. it's good. the seiran girls also make an appearance in the game. the current main story arc right now features all four main schools performing together in a tarot themed play at a big festival and literally everyone is just out for blood.

i can not recommend you play this game. i have been playing this game for [checks my login bonuses] over eight hundred days. but i won't tell you to do it. if you do do it that's on you don't get mad at me. but you can watch all the stories on youtube or read them either on the revue starlight wiki or on a website called project karthuria.

and uhh. i think that's it. have fun.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[imaginedeux]

Sixth Sense

Run, we need to get a way!

Guys run!

This isnt good, we need to get out of here and now!

LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Exploring places was something you had done since you were young, being the youngest and the only girl in your group of cousins, you wanted to show them you werent scared to explore abandoned places, or even haunted places. Your old home town was founded as an army base during the civil war and saw blood shed for the first give or take 100 years of its existence, which caused the places you and your cousins to explore to be haunted. Fast forward to present day, you no longer live in your hometown, but live in Santa Monica, California with a mundane job to pay for the overly expensive loft you were renting. You also had a small youtube channel, nothing too big, it was more of a way to record your adventures in California and a way for your parents to make sure you were okay. That is until you bumped into a very popular social media duo while they were trying to sneak into a ‘haunted’ location near where you lived. The warning you gave them, followed by a video by the duo a week later, caused them to contact you and to see if you wanted to join them for haunted location.

That was over a year ago, and now you regularly join them and TFIL for ‘haunted’ overnights. A majority of which were legit, you could feel the presence of spirits before you stepped foot on the property, while others were just people being a-holes and scaring you guys off. Thats one of the reasons why you joined the duo and TFIL for those adventures, you were able to sense a spirit near by, and were able to warn them when they went too far. This has been something you’ve been able to do since you were a kid, and wasnt an unfamiliar feeling either. That is, until Colby told you that he and Sam wanted you to join them for a haunted overnight in London, with Cory and Jake in tow as well.

With your luggage in tow and your new passport in hand, you and the guys were off to London for Sam and Colby’s new series. What they didnt tell you was, there were two locations you would be visiting, possible a third, but two for sure. The first location did a number on you and the group, the experts told you the stories associated with the room Sam and Colby and with the floor the five of you were staying on. Everything that went on during the night, and after the group went to their rooms for the night, shook the group, you especially. You weren’t one to have nightmares much less ones you could remember after waking up, but the dream you had stayed with you as you traveled to the second location.

“Hey, you okay (Y/N)? You look like you’ve been in a trance since we left the hotel.” Corey, who was sitting next to you in the backseat asked you as you looked down at your hands.

“Just thinking about what happened last night.” You murmured, your nightmare coming back to mind. “I didn’t want to freak you guys out while we were checking out, but I had a really intense nightmare that included all of us.”

“Nightmare? I thought you said you didnt have them?” Colby asked, looking at you through the rear view mirror, his eyes shifting from you to the road.

“Thats the thing I dont. I havent had one since I was a kid. It was after you came knocking at my door asking if I had called you guys, or even asking if I had left a voice mail. I fell asleep for an hour and I woke up from what felt like a never ending nightmare, I wasnt going to let myself go back to sleep so I sketched out what was happening in my dream. The only thing I could draw was the church, and its surroundings.” You explained grabbing your bag taking out a notebook you carried around with you, flipping it to the page where you drew the church. “The thing that stuck out the most was the graveyard that surrounded it, and the forest.”

~~~

“Hey (Y/N), didnt you say you had a nightmare about a church?” Jake asked from your right, shaking you awake from your short slumber.

“Y-Yeah, what about it?” You yawned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, looking straight out the windshield. Both Sam and Colby were looking out to the left of the car, their camera recording on the dash straight at you.

“And that the church was surrounded by a graveyard?” Sam said this time, from his seat in the passenger side. 

“Yeah, what of...” You started before you looked out the window to your left. “No, there’s no fucking way.”

“(Y/N) did you know what church we were going to today?” Colby asked, turning to look at you face to face. “Because that’s exactly the church you drew.”

“NO! You guys wouldn’t even tell us the name of the church! How was is supposed to know THIS was the church we were going to!?” You questioned the blue eyed brunette in the driver seat.

“I dont like this you guys.” Corey said from your left. “(Y/N) had a nightmare, a NIGHTMARE, about this place. And she apparently doesn’t even have nightmares, and she has one about this place, A PLACE SHE’S NEVER EVEN SEEN BEFORE!”

“Guys, off camera (Y/N) told us she had a nightmare, note she hasn’t had a nightmare since she was a kid, about us at a church surrounded by a graveyard last night after the phone call. She also said she drew out the church, a way to keep her awake until we had to check out this morning.” Sam explained to the viewers what was going on. “And this is what she drew, without knowing what church we were going to.” Sam grabbed the notebook from you and showed it to the camera.

“Which is the exact church we’re staying in tonight.”

~~~

“Okay, this is getting freaky. (Y/N), has called everything thats happened so far, from the crows, to the teeth on the graves. I dont think staying here is a good idea guys.” Jake said as the sun started to set over the woods at the back end of the church, giving the group less light to see over the graveyard. “She even called the fucking tombs in the church!”

“Come on Jake, shes also said by this time in her dream shit hit the fan, and we’re okay, we already have our blankets for the night, the camera is ready to record us for the rest of the night to make sure we capture everything we can. We’ll be okay.” Colby said trying to calm down the other skeptic in the group. You said nothing as Jake argued with Sam and Colby, all you wanted to do was get out of the place as fast as you could, and the only way to do that is go to sleep. Being unconscious was better than feeling on edge the entire time.

“What else did you dream (Y/N), was this in the dream too?” Corey asked taking a seat next to you, your back to the three other guys as you faced the front of the church.

“No, thats why I want to leave. With the dream I was able to pin point what not to do but now that its nothing like it, i’m scared that something might happen.” You confessed, still looking towards the front of the church, the tombs covered by darkness. “I’m not able to stop something bad from happening if something does go wrong.”

“I understand the feeling. Especially after what my little brother texted me yesterday, I feel like I cant help him if I dont know what im going up against. And its scary.” Corey whispered as the yelling behind the two of you started to quiet down.

“We’ve both had things happen since our childhood. You’ve been seeing things since your family used the Ouija board, and I’ve had the feelings since before I could remember. Believe it or not my mom once told me she could feel spirits when she was my age, and so did my grandma. They’ve both told me that they were able to feel spirits most of their lives, but they cant anymore.”

“What stopped them? Maybe you can do that and you wont be able to feel the spirits anymore!”

“I dont think it’s that simple.” You laughed. The dry laugh caught the attention of the three other guys in the church as well. “They stopped being able to feel spirits the day I was born.”

“Hey guys, I think this is a good time to head to bed.” Sam said this time, the harsh LED light illuminating dark half of the church. “The faster we get to sleep, the faster we’ll be out of here.”

~~~

Sam! Colby! Guys! Get back to the Church now! Jake, Corey, i’m going to go and get them, stay here.

You’re too late

No! No i’m not! Sam! Colby!

You cant protect them

I WILL!

The air was finally able to reach your lungs as you shot up from your make shift bunk. The cold air surrounding you caused steam to radiate of your person, and your deep exhales to create puffs of smoke in front of you. You looked around to see if your sudden movements woke anyone else up, thats when your heart dropped. Before you went to bed, Sam took the bunk closest to the door and Colby took the one to your left while Corey and Jake took the ones to your right. Both Sam and Colby’s bunks were empty.

“No, no, no, no!” You mentally yelled pulling on your shoes as fast and as quietly as you could, not wanting to wake the two other boys. As you got up, you heard one of the bunks shift and a loud gasp come from behind you.

“Did, did you shake me awake!?” Jake asked, his eyes wide. “(Y/N), did you shake me awake?!”

“No. Now quiet down.” You tried shooshing Jake. “You’ll wake Corey if you’re too loud.”

“Too late for that, what’s going on? Where’s Sam and Colby?” Corey asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Jake are you okay man? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I woke up because it felt someone was shaking me awake! Then when I got up (Y/N) was getting up from her bunk.” Jake explained getting up from his bunk and flipping it over. “Where are Sam and Colby? Did they do this?”

“I dont know! When I woke up they were gone, thats when I got up and you woke up. Stay here, I’m going to look for them.” You said grabbing one of the extra flashlights. 

“No! We’re not going to let you go out there on your own.” Corey said slipping on his shoes. “Whoa, wait what happened to you? You’ve soaked through your shirt.” Thats when you realized your sweater was completely soaked with sweat from the nightmare you were having before you woke up.

“My nightmare. No.” You whispered before you bolted towards the door of the church. “You guys stay here, I think somethings gonna happen, something bad. I have a big bag of salt in my backpack, use it to make a circle around the bunk area, and DONT leave it. Not for me, not for anyone okay? Unless you see us in person, dont believe your ears, okay?”

You stood at the door, the gates open behind you, leading out into the grave yard, Corey and Jake confused. “Things are going to get bad.”

“Bad? What do you mean bad? (Y/N), you can’t leave us in the dark, especially after everything thats been happening!” Jake yelled walking towards you.

“FINE!” You screamed back. This was probably the first time they heard you raise your voice in anger. “Fine! When I was younger, right when I was realizing that could feel spirits, a demon attacked one of my cousins while we were exploring one of the old hospitals in the area. My other cousins all ran away, too scared to think of a way to get the demon away from them. I stepped in and the next thing I knew it was three weeks later and I was in the hospital. I was in a coma after detaching the demon from my cousin who was in a coma as well. The thing is while I was in the coma I had a never ending nightmare.”

“What does that have to do with us!?”

“Because! I was having nightmares of this place! Thats why when I woke up today I was repeating the nightmare from all those years ago! Before tonight I had no recollection of what happened to me and my cousin, its almost as if it never happened. And because of the nightmare from yesterday and the eerie feeling from today, I was able to remember it. I texted one of my older cousins while we were out buying blankets and they said that it was true, but that the family promised not to bring it up to either of us. In my nightmare, from YEARS before I moved out to California, I had a nightmare of you four. I was trying to protect you guys, Sam and Colby. Now it’s actually happening, so I have to go and protect Sam and Colby.”

“Wait! Why do we have to stay here? If we go and look for them all together we might be able to find them faster!” Corey said this time, grabbing the camera from where Colby left it to record you all through the night.

“Because the safest place you can be is in this church. The salt circle will keep you extra protected, you coming with me will just put you in danger. Please, stay here. There’s still a couple of hours until sunrise, if we’re not back by then call the police.”

~~~

“SAM! What the hell are you doing man!” Colby yelled, finally catching up with his blonde best friend. “You cant just get up and walk out of the church and into the creepy ass woods by yourself.”

“Sorry, I have the camera as a light so its not that bad, but I kept hearing things. I wasnt sure if it was from inside the church at first, then I heard it outside.”

“What were you hearing? You could have woken one of us up. You cant be going out here by yourself.”

“SAM! COLBY!”

“Is that (Y/N)? What’s she doing up?” Colby thought pointing the flashlight he had towards the direction of your voice. As Colby was about to call out to you, the atmosphere around them grew heavy. “Whoa, did you feel that Sam?”

“Yeah-yeah, it felt like the air got heavy. I think its time for us to get back to the church Colby.” Sam said this time, the camera facing Colby, the look of fear obvious on their faces. “Wait, where’s (Y/N)? I swore I heard her voice!”

“SAM! COLBY! Jesus, there you guys are!” You yelled, running up to them from the woodwork. “We need to get back to the church now!”

“We were about to head back, but why are you soaked? What happened?” Before you could respond to Colby’s frantic questions, an unearthly screech cut you off. The three of you fell to the ground, hands covering your ears, the camera in Sam’s hand fell, the light on it flickering from the fall. “What the hell was that?!”

“We need to get back to the church now!” The crack in your voice scared the duo. For as long as they’ve known you, you’ve never been one to be scared by the spirits, but this was a different story. “Please, we need to get back to the church!”

Grabbing the camera, you pointed it at the duo in front of you, the light still flickering, but it was the only way to keep you in your line of sight. “I can’t lose sight of you guys, so please lets get back to Corey and Jake.”

“What’s going on (Y/N)? Why didnt you bring Corey and Jake with you?” Sam asked coming to a stop near the edge of the woods.

“Yeah, and did you feel that shift earlier? What was that?” Colby asking this time.

“There’s no time for questions, we need to get to safety, please!” You were pleading with them at this point. The sinking feeling in your stomach was getting worse. “Please we need to leave!”

“No! Not until you tell us whats going on!” Colby yelled at you. It didn’t phase you, it was a high stress situation and yelling in normal. Taking in a deep breath you told the duo what you told Jake and Corey back at the church. You could tell as you were reciting the story that they knew this was serious.

“So, we need to get the hell out of here and back to the church where its sa-” You started before the light on the camera Sam still had in his hand, went out.

There’s no place to run, you were smart to leave the other two in the church, but these two are mine.

“Don’t you dare get near them! I’m the one you want! I’ve beat you once before, I can beat you again!” You yelled at nothing. “Whatever you guys do, do not talk to him. You guys acknowledging him will only make it worse.”

“Right.” The pair whispered. As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you grabbed onto Sam and Colby, “We need to get back to the church, follow me.”

Not so fast (Y/N), you dont think it’ll be that easy?

“Sam!” A familiar voice yelled from the darkness. “Sam please help me I’m hurt!”

“Ka-” Sam started before you let go of Colby to slam your hand on Sam’s mouth.

“It’s a trick! Don’t trust your ears, they’ll trick you.” You explained. “Same goes for you Colby, no matter who you hear, it doesn’t matter who, if you cant see them, do not trust the voices you hear.” You grabbed Colby’s jacket, pulling him and Sam back towards the church. “I’m sorry you guys.”

“Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault this is happening, you didn’t know that this thing was going to come back.” 

“Yeah, if anything its our fault that we didnt listen to you, after you were predicting everything that happened.”

They’re right, they should have listened to you, just like your cousins should have listened to you when this happened all those years ago.

“We were children! You had the balls to attack children! That just shows you how weak of a demon you are! It makes you even weaker when a child was able to exercise you from a the body of another child!” You yelled into the darkness. “You thought you were powerful because of the place we were in! Your worshipers used the hospital as your portal! You were using my cousin as a scapegoat!”

You werent strong enough to get rid of me the first time. What makes you think you’ll be strong enough now? 

As the demon started to laugh, the ground shaking with every cackle, the moon showed itself from behind the clouds, the graveyard lit up with the light. In the middle of all the graves was a massive being, a mix of human and a crow.

“You were always here weren’t you? You were hiding among the crows.” You said letting go of the duo. You faced this demon once before and lived, you can face him again. 

“(Y/N)! Don’t!” Colby whispered as you walked towards the demon. “We need to get to the church!”

“Come on, (Y/N)!”

“No. Not anymore, if I dont get rid of him now, I’ll have to live with this asshole following me!”

Oh, I’m not planning on letting you live, (Y/N). You arent going to live to see tomorrow.

“And im not letting you go, Raum.” With that the creature, screeched at you, stepping back away from you. “I’m no priest, or exorcist but I’ve researched how to get rid of demons!”

“(Y/N) what are you doing!?” Colby ran up to you, blocking your path to the demon. “We need to get back to the church! We’ll be safe their.”

“Sam, grab Colby and haul ass towards the Church, Jake and Corey will be waiting where the bunks are in a circle of salt, that’s where you’ll be the safest. If I don’t make it back by sunrise, I’ve already told Corey and Jake to call the police. Hell maybe call a priest too.” You explained looking between the two again. “Please, im begging you.”

“Come on Colby.” Sam whispered, grabbing onto Colby’s arm pulling him towards the church. “(Y/N) can do this, we’ll only hold her back if we’re here.”

~~~

“Jake it’s been hours and they still aren’t back, and what the hell was that sound!?” Corey asked the only other person in the circle. The yelling and screeching that came from outside the church were something out of a horror movie, it didnt seem real.

“I dont know, and all the cameras cut out when the first screech happened and they havent been able to record since then. Even the cell service has been shit.” Jake groaned sitting on one of the bunks in the middle of the salt circle they drew after (Y/N) ran out the church.

“What if it doesnt come back by sun up? How are we going to get help?”

“We’ll just go to someone’s ho-” Jake started before the doors to church doors slammed open. “Sam? Colby? Is that really you?” Before they could answer Jake grabbed the nearest bottle of holy water and sprayed the duo as they walked towards the bunks.

“Really Jake? Was that necessary?” Colby asked shaking off the cold holy water.

“Sorry, had to make sure. Hey, where’s (Y/N)? And what was that sound from earlier?” Jake asked realizing the person who forced them to stay in the church wasn’t with the duo.

“(Y/N) stayed outside. Remember when she told us when she was younger how her cousin was attacked by a demon back in her hometown?” Colby asked looking between Corey and Jake as the screeching continued in the graveyard, scaring the group.

“Well apparently the thing out there is the same one from her childhood. She told us to come to the church and wait for either her or for the sun to come up. And for us not to trust our ears, that the thing out there might try to get us outside, he almost got me by sounding like Kat.” Sam explained as more screeching and roars sounded from the darkness outside. “And to add salt to the wound, I dropped the camera when the first roar happened so I wasn’t able to get any footage of the demon outside.”

“Right when the first roar happened all the cameras in here went out too. There’s still battery in all of them but they wont record. And, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LEFT HER OUT THERE?” Corey yelled at the best friends. “You’re letting her go against that thing ALONE!?”

“We had to! If we stayed there the demon would have used us against (Y/N), and she’s gone against it before and lived, shes got this in the ba-” Sam started before another roar cut him off, the lights in the church flickering as a scream joined the roar.

“COLBY, I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE!”

“Its not (Y/N)! Dont listen to it!” Sam grabbed Colby before he sprinted out the door. “You know for a fact she wouldn’t call out for us! In any of our investigations, has she ever called for us? No. Don’t listen to him!”

“COLBY HELP! PLEASE I CANT BEAT HIM!”

“COLBY YOU BETTER NOT! DONT YOU DARE LISTEN TO HIM!”

“See that’s (Y/N)!” Sam said tugging Colby back into the salt circle, “We have to trust in her.”

~~~

“It’s been two weeks since the church and we haven’t told the fans what happened, what are we going to do?” Sam asked looking up at Colby, from his seat next to (Y/N). It had been two weeks since the church incident, and they were still in the UK. The night took a turn for the worst when the sun had finally come up and (Y/N) hadn’t made it back to the church. It took almost two days to find her somewhere in the middle of the wood miles away from the church the group stayed at. 

“I know they deserve answers, but our main concern is to make sure (Y/N) is alright. We already contacted her family and they’re aware, which is the most important part. Maybe us staying and Corey and Jake leaving was a bad idea.” Colby muttered, pacing around the hospital room. (Y/N) hadn’t woken up from the coma she was found in almost two weeks prior, and it was concerning the boys. (Y/N)’s parents told the boys that the last time she was in a coma like this it lasted almost a month, and that the boys shouldn’t worry about (Y/N), shes stronger than she seems. “I wish (Y/N) would give us some sort of sign that shes okay.”

“Why does it feel like its out fault? Like if we hadn’t come to London none of this would have happened? Or what if we had stayed in the church? Maybe then we would have been back in LA planning our next adventure.” Sam whispered, rubbing his face with his palms.

“Damn it!” Colby finally yelled after a few minutes of silence. “Why the fuck did this happen to (Y/N)? What if we had stayed there? Maybe it would have been one of us instead of her! Fuck!”

“Quiet down please. We’re in a hospital for fuck sake.” The whisper caught the duo off guard. It was the small smile on the patience’s face that brought them to tears as they hugged the person on the hospital bed. “Okay, I can’t breath guys.”

“Wh-what? When did you wake up? How are you feeling? Do-do you need anything?” Colby asked as Sam ran out the room going to find a doctor or nurse.

“When you guys started to blame yourselves for what happened. Raum was going to come after me one day, it just chose the church because of all the spiritual energy that we were carrying from the hotel the night before.” You, explained before a doctor, nurse, and Sam ran into the room. It was a week later that the trio was on their way back to the States, when you  noticed something.

“Hey Sam, Colby.” You started as you made your way across the London airport to your gate. You stopped and looked around, something was different.

“What’s up (Y/N)? Do you feel something?” Colby asked coming up to (Y/N)

“That’s the thing, I dont feel anything.” You said looking around the airport, every place you’ve ever visited had some sort of spirit lingering around. Good or evil you were able to feel them almost 80% of the time.

“What do you mean you don’t feel anything?” Sam asked the camera in his hand pointing at you and Colby. The three of you had agreed to release what footage you had onto their Youtube channel since you felt like their fans needed some sort of explanation. They just needed to film the last bits of them leaving London before they would do a sit down segment back in LA explaining what had happened at the church.

“I dont feel any spiritual presence, like any. It wouldn’t have bothered me but I had felt a presence when we first landed here. Now there’s nothing.” You said looking back at Sam and Colby. “Maybe me winning cost me my ability to feel spirits.” That statement became even more true when you landed back in LA and did a quick visit to places you knew were haunted, you couldn’t feel anything in any of the locations.

“Hey, maybe its a good thing? I mean people who have some sort of power are usually targeted by demons or evil spirits.” Sam said as the three of you walked up to the first place the three of you met.

“If it keeps you safe, maybe its a good thing that you lost your ability.” Colby said this time.

“But now I feel like I wont be able to protect you guys.” You said looking back at the best friends, tears welling up in her eyes.

“But, we’ll be able to protect you. When you would tell us to back off during an overnight we started to notice how certain things would happen around the time you would speak up. We’re able to tell if somethings going to happen because of all the times you brought it to our attention that something was wrong.” Colby said walking up to you, giving you a small smile. “Anything to protect you even if you dont have your sixth sense.”

[insertdisc5]

Yet Another Zelda Roleswap (the masterpost)

✨what's this AU?

Check THIS POST I DID that started it all and also the AU’s tag

✨in this au, the previous legends about the triforce are the same, aka “zeldas are princesses links are heroes and ganon/ganondorf is always the same guy and the big bad”! BUT THIS TIME DESTINY DID AN OOPSIE and ganondorf forgot all about his previous lives while link is the one who remembers them all!!! zelda just wants to travel and read cool legends and didnt expect to be part of one

✨ZELDA STUFF

-trans girl, found the name zelda in very very very old royal records

-she's like 16 or something

-seventh heir to the throne who wants to prove herself, so she goes on an adventure to save the world!!!!

-adventurous and impulsive and naive

-main weapon is bows, she also knows magic and sheikah techniques

-has six siblings who dont really pay attention to her. shes probably the youngest

-her point of view is very black and white at first

-even when she gets in the middle of link and ganon’s story she still doesn’t believe she is The Zelda of legend

-how could she she’s just a zelda, one among many, just a kid playing at being a princess

-(she IS the zelda)

-she gets a bird AND a white horse!!!!

-if she sees a weird cave she WILL go into it 

-would probably eat moss if dared

✨LINK STUFF

-genderfluid, uses he/they

-hes in his early twenties

-a man zelda meets during her travels, who seems to know a lot about old legends

-he can see koroks and fairies, who can’t be seen by most people

-gets all his past lives' memories after he gets the master sword, over a period of a day or two

-maybe link does remember his past deaths along with his past lives, but past deaths are maybe more muted…. less like he experienced them and more like someone told him about it. still fucks him up tho

-i feel like he’d be pretty nice and sleepy all the time, until you mention something that has to do with his memories (aka, ganondorf, but also like “oh ive heard some hero in the legends went back to being a kid to save the world or whatever) and he’d get this super serious, focused look… something like that, little things that would make zelda go :^?

-he just really wants to kill ganondorf ya dig

-SO MANY BOSS FORMS probably one per main title (kinda like xant’s battle in TP) (strongest/hardest to fight is majora’s mask link), and final form is definitely some twisted looking fierce deity

-as for his past selves he has all of their memories and its kind of… they’re not him, he’s him, they’re just memories that he has, but when he is very very stressed its “memories become actual personalities for a sec” time. 99% of the time its just him and then ganondorf is there and its like WILL EVERYONE SHUT UP IM TRYING TO MAKE A MURDER HERE

-he’s not controlled by malice or anything because it would feel like a deus ex machina to me

-in the end he doesnt die and he gets redemption because he didnt hurt anyone he just tried to kill ganondorf a few times hes good, and also zelda is his friend and an heir to the throne he’s got immunity. poor guy just needs help processing all those lives and needs a cabin in the woods with some fairies!!!

-re: his past lives, oot link SUPER HATES ganondorf while ww link is more sympathetic. links who havent fought ganondorf are ambivalent about him

-endgame ship is either with ganondorf OR beedle. beedle is the secret ending

-will eat moss

✨GANONDORF STUFF

-he's in his twenties i promise he just has resting old man face

-zelda’s old childhood friend

-doesn’t remember anything about his past lives

-gerudo king, very serious but fairly well loved

-lets not talk about malice it either doesnt exist/this ganondorf doesnt have any/this ganondorf knows how to control it. either way its not gonna affect the story

-”what are you wearing today king” “oh, just whatever” (its not whatever he spent hours finding the day’s outfit)

-found out about his past lives while reading a very very very old book, probably read it and stayed in his room for a week and then promised himself to never ever ever turn out like that

-genuinely a good person

-would never eat moss

✨RELATIONSHIPS STUFF

-zelda and ganondorf actually knew each other as kids! Both being royalty and all. legends do talk about a hero a princess a beast or whatever but don’t use link or ganondorf’s names since it’s been so long- it takes zelda and ganondorf both finding old, old books on their own to be like “AH OOPS”!!! Ganondorf learns about his past lives much earlier than zelda, who finds out during her adventures, and she goes from seeing ganondorf as a dear friend to being like “…but what if he’s really bad though”

they’re old childhood friends, you know, the kind that were best friends before and then grew up and saw each other less often (different kingdoms and all) so they kinda grew apart, and then zelda starting her quest made them reconnect again! Ganondorf is a little older than zelda so he always saw her more as his little sister who just jumps into mud because she totally saw a sword there i promise, and zelda sees ganondorf as her cool older brother who actually pays attention to her, unlike her actual siblings

-when link and zelda meet, zelda’s like “weird dude but probably harmless” and link is like “weird girl but probably harmless” and then she’s like “oh my name is zelda” and link goes “ah just likeWAIT” and he kinda observes her to… gauge her abilities? My Zeldas Were Better kinda thing. i guess during their final battle he’s like “you’re really a zelda, after all” and its bittersweet

the second zelda figures out link is also part of those legends she goes full hero worship mode, which makes link’s fall from grace… really… hard on her. ive been admiring you and wanting to be a hero like you all this time, turns out you’re not a hero and also Not Okay

-re ganondorf and link, after everything that happened uuuh

human brain: it probably takes them both a long while to get used to each other, given that one was almost killed by the other and the other has vivid memories of having their world(s) destroyed by the one, but after a while they probably bond over their shared uuuuh memories i guess. link visits gerudo city once in a while and they catch up and become friends and

lizard brain: after 100k words they DATE

no i wont write how it happens you will NOT make me embarrass myself in front of everyone because i earnestly wrote about how link visits ganondorf every time he’s in gerudo country and at first link just passes by to give ganondorf news about how zelda is faring as queen and news about the world, and as time goes and years go by  they start talking about their lives and struggles and just taking walks across the desert together and having sand seal races and everyone in ganondorf’s court is like “so when’s that little voe coming back” and ganondorf is like “i neither know nor care that its been three months since his last visit” and everyone’s like (smirk) “okay” and when has he even started to look forward to link’s visits anyway how did this happen and then link comes back and smiles gently and shows ganondorf this cool rock he found that looks like ganondorf’s face and ganondorf is smitten

takes them both Y E A R S to realize their feelings and then date tho. slow burn or bust

✨WORLD STUFF

-takes place in a time where the games’ adventures are only known as legends where they didnt even write down ganondorf’s and link’s names

-now that im thinking about it it wouldnt happen like THOUSANDS OF YEARS after any game because then ganon and link wouldnt be that worried about their destiny??? so maybe like 100-200 years after a game??? and the ppl writing down the legends were just terrible bookkeepers who couldnt even think write down link and ganon’s name

-(smash voice) EVERYONE IS HERE!!!!!!!! tingle and agitha the bug princess and sidon and especially groose who is uuuuum zelda’s rival who is totally not in love with her

-i think in botw its implied koroks are only seen by people like link and zelda??? so id say only people with uuuuh magical power??? can see them???? so koroks are just doin their thing, playing pranks, helping people without them knowing, and, in the case of makar, playing romantic music around couples

[sinnerpenart]

i havent slept for like 18 hours pls enjoy " As he struggled to catch his breath, the short lagomorph glanced around at the green plains and hills stretching on for miles everywhere he'd look, his dark cinnamon fur bristling in the evening wind that had began to pick up shortly before the sun had set. It was a beautiful place. Fields of emerald grass surrounded him, basking in the dim orange-purple glow that only lasts a few short moments in the lights of dusk. From where he stood, upon one of the high mountains which surrounded the valley, he could see the city perfectly- Coiling around the side of a tall siera like a snake; The shortstack buildings with their connected roofs that made up the lower levels, and the spiraling spires of the palace, all made of the same soft, white stone. One by one, he'd watch as the golden lights of the capital came on, like drifting fireflies in the sundown. Oh, it was a sight to behold. But this wasn't why he was here. “

“ He'd heard the call of the lantern, felt its pull. It led him here. Something would happen here. The notion pulled him back from his peaceful daydreaming, snapping into him a twinge of dread. No, this wasn't just sightseeing.

He sat down on the soft grass with a sigh, setting the round, glassy lantern down on his lap as he did so. The flame burning within was so bright now that it nearly blinded him to stare directly at it... Well, at least he'd be free from its grasp for just a little while, now that he'd finally reached it. He'd be safe here, spectating from afar as always. He closed his eyes for an instant, ignoring his instincts- he felt like he more than deserved a moment of quiet respite, after how much he'd walked for the past few weeks- Oh, it wasn't like he hated wandering. In fact, he always loves discovering these strange, faraway places. If only it let him rest sometimes, though...

The woeful snap of a broken twig behind his back pulled him out of his contemplations, his legs kicking the air on reflex as he'd twirl around. Behind him was a young elf, it seems- A child, their cherry red eyes fixated on the shortstack rabbit, both unmoving in their surprise as they watched eachother. It took a few seconds for the cinnamon-colored watcher to notice the elf's pupils- Milky white, like two shining pearls dropped in a pool of bright, fresh blood. A seer, perhaps. He tilted his head, quickly glancing up and down the stranger; They were barely a few heads taller than himself, dressed in light white robes and wearing a tight drape of light silk around their head, covering their hair and neck, patches of peach color popping out against their dark skin.

The child was the first one to speak.

"Ah... Er, hello? I don't think I've ever seen you around here. Are you... A traveller?"

Slightly taken aback, he quickly looked around, before giving a weary nod.

"Oh! I mean, I usually come here alone, but I guess it might be nice to have company... If you don't mind?"

The lagomorph seemed to reflect on his options for a short moment, before nodding again, this time accompanied with a scoff as he re-adjusted the thick, wooly red scarf around his neck. After all, there was still time, he felt, and it wasn't every day he encountered someone who could see him. The child walked over, sitting down by the rabbit, until they noticed him giving them an odd look, as if questioning their reason to be here.

"...I like to hike up the mountain sometimes. It's tiring, but I think the view's nice."

Then, looking down at the young watcher once more, "You don't talk much, do you? I mean, that's fine. I like the silence."

Saying this, they looked up to the sky, and so did he. Small, twinkling stars were beginning to appear to the night sky. Small balls of gases and fire, far off into the infinite space... He wondered if anyone else shared this knowledge with him, right in this moment. Maybe the people would have to find it out themselves. His heart was beginning to beat faster in his chest, the flame of the lantern burning into his entrails like a blasted poison. He glanced over to the child. Did they know? Maybe if he just stayed here, whatever fate had in store wouldn't reach them. He hoped so. Looking back on this moment, he would have prayed so, even, had he not known that none of the gods would come to aid.

"You know," The child started, "If you're a traveler, you must've seen a lot of things, right?" They asked. He looked away with a smile, scoffing, then nodded as he remembered memories of the countries he'd visited, the different cultures, the stunning landscapes... He sighed mournfully as his head began to feel dizzy with anxiety, longing for those warm, colorfully delightful days. He lays down on the ground, staring at the night sky now. The elf stifles a small laugh upon seeing their newfound silent friend's reaction, tilting their head to watch the stars once more, constellations now clearly visible in the dark purple-ink space.

"... I wish I could see a lot, too..." The child sighs, "The valley's nice, but I'd like to see the world, someday." They announce, now bearing a proud smile. He perks his ears, raising one of his eyebrows as the elf continues speaking, "I'd see the jungle and the deserts and the sea. I'd grow wings like a bird, or I'd make my own, and I'd fly to the North and see the frozen realms!" They laugh, looking back to him with a large smile. "Wouldn't that be nice?" He does give his best attempt at a smile, but the anxious tension on his face shows, and the child's own gleeful expression falls a bit as they look down to the grassy hills underneath them.

"I know, it's silly." They scoff, and he shakes his head. The child perks up, their head turning to him. "...Really? I mean, I know I can't grow wings. I just think... Well, I think fantasies would be nice to have." They scoff, and he gives the elf an understanding smile, albeit burdened by the churning felt in his stomach. The lantern's glow is too warm. It feels scalding on his skin, yet it's only hot enough to draw his attention back to it as he listens.

"My caretaker doesn't think for nonsense like that." They say with a sigh, and the cinnamon rabbit frowns. "... I remember something she told me, I think..." His nose twitches with anticipation, looking up to the elf.

"...In the world of the unjust, ignorance is bliss." The child rolls their eyes as they quote the phrase, and the lagomorph frowns.

"I don't believe it either. She always talks as if the entire world is out to get everyone... I wouldn't want to live like that. Besides, saying that it's bad wouldn't change a thing... If the world really is unjust, then it should be up to us to make it just." Then, they glance down to the city, and let out a gasp.

"Oh, I should go. They're probably going to start the festival soon..." They say, stepping up and dusting their robes. Suddenly, the sickly heat that had been crawling around in the back of his skull bashes against his senses, the lagomorph only barely repressing his nausea as the glow of the lantern nestled between his arms pulsates along with his heartbeat.

"Well, I guess that's a goodbye, then! I hope I'll see you sometimes!" The small elf says with a bright smile, bowing forward respectfully to his brief, silent friend. The young watcher's chest tightens up, the sparkle of dread he'd been feeling ignited into a fire that devours his insides, burning red hot and sending shivers down his back. Maybe if he could just say something. Anything. Anything to make this child stay, just a little longer... It closes in, the moment seizing his heart like a serpent, sinking its fangs into his muscles. He opens his mouth, as if to say something, but his throat is dry and parched. He tries to think of something, but nothing comes out.

Painfully, painstakingly long seconds pass by as he raises his arm and waves a silent goodbye to his friend, losing the fight against his instincts. He would watch. No, he had to watch. It wasn't his place. Maybe it was.

But before long, the moment was gone. The young elf turned around, and left down the trail snaking around the mountainside. The lantern's pulse drove his senses, the watcher turned his head and started forward, into the delicate white spires of the city, the beautiful golden lights, the soft tall emerald grass down below. His head throbbed.

And as the last glimmers of color left the sky, when darkness struck and the night was left with its inky blanket to envelop the earth, ancient seeds sown and words spoken by those of old took roots. Just like that, the earth cracked and burst like a balloon made of dry paper. The spires splintered, the households were engulfed by the earth. The seed of darkness had sprouted, taking the form of a gigantic pillar of melting energies that grew and ate and grew. And it grew and reached until every light in the valley had died out.

And he was sat on the mountain, his eyes glassy and senses numb as every detail was carved into his memory, as he drew the information he needed. As he recorded. The growing sprout of horrors wouldn't notice him there. And years later, the most powerful forces of the world would gather, to seal this seed and its land away, leaving nothing behind but ashes and dead winds.

And he was safe there, where the lantern had guided him to.

And he heard it, under all the noise. 'In the world of the unjust, ignorance is bliss.'

And he watched. "

[news4dzhozhar]

When Solitary Confinement Is A Death Sentence

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/solitary-confinement-suicide-prison-teens_n_5d63f4d3e4b01d7b529317aa

Their friendship began on July 17, 2014, with whispered secrets shared through the vent in the wall that separated their cells.

Jessica Burlew remembers the exact date because she’d turned 17 the day before, the same day that Mariam Abdullah, then 16 and about to be charged as an adult with armed robbery, had been brought to Estrella Jail in Phoenix, Arizona.

When Abdullah arrived, shackled and belly chained, in the closed custody unit, where girls deemed incorrigible were held in their cells for 23 hours a day, Burlew had been there for about six months. In that time, Burlew said she hadn’t had any contact with other teens and so was glad to hear Abdullah’s voice.

“I very much did consider Mariam a birthday present,” Burlew, now 22, wrote from Perryville Prison in Goodyear, Arizona, where she is serving a 10-year sentence. 

Over the months they were held in isolation, speaking through that vent, Burlew and Abdullah shared the things that teenagers do.

Abdullah’s favorite color was red. She wanted to be a firefighter. Her favorite musical artist was Drake.

She was silly, rambunctious and seemingly carefree. Still, the isolation wore on her. 

For the next two years, Abdullah spent much of her time separated from others, both to discipline her for what was classified as unruly behavior and to prevent her from harming herself. After she was transferred to Perryville in July 2015, she was in and out of solitary confinement in the minors unit for various infractions. Just after she turned 18, she was transferred to the Lumley Unit, the most restrictive unit in the prison where offenders were confined in their cells 23 hours a day, with one hour of recreation spent in a cage under the searing Arizona sun. When she was not in her assigned cell, Abdullah was in suicide watch cells, where again she was alone. Officers more than once carried her there by force.

After another woman in the prison, Cynthia Apkaw, died by suicide in August 2015, Abdullah wrote in a letter to a friend: “To be honest with you being here makes me feel like that but I just havent acted on it yet.” 

On July 19, 2016, she did. A handwritten poem found in her cell after her death read in part:

In this place is a struggle for her

She’s alive but not living

She’s feeling everything, feeling nothing

Tired of existing and longing to join

Those who truly know peace

The dead.

HuffPost examined some 200 documents, videos and photographs from Abdullah’s time behind bars, interviewed 16 people who knew her and reviewed her letters and other writings for this account of her life and death in isolation. 

The almost 2.2 million people in correctional facilities in the United States are often amongst the most vulnerable, with troubles — mental illness, addiction, social disenfranchisement — that put them at a high risk of suicide before they even enter a cell. Incarceration exacerbates these problems; isolation makes a bad situation worse.

“So much of who we are and how we function is implicitly dependent on interaction with other people. It’s such a natural part of human life that it’s almost as second nature as breathing,” said Craig Haney, professor at the University of California, Santa Cruz and an expert on the impact of solitary confinement. “When all of that stuff is taken away, it’s destabilizing, psychologically unsettling, in a very profound way.”

Self-harm and suicide rates in some state and federal correctional facilities have risen dramatically in recent years, an issue most recently highlighted by the death of financier Jeffrey Epstein, whose body was found in a federal facility in New York on Aug. 10. Shortly before his death, Epstein, who was awaiting trial on charges of sex trafficking, had been moved from suicide watch to a special housing unit.

Mental health experts and advocates say that the use of solitary confinement is a factor in many cases of suicide. The most recent nationwide data released by the federal Bureau of Justice Statistics shows that prisoner deaths by suicide in state prisons increased roughly 30% between 2013 and 2014 — from 192 to 249 deaths.

At least 61,000 prisoners are in some form of isolation — generally understood as being held in a cell 22 or more hours per day, for an average of 15 or more consecutive days — in facilities across the country, according to a survey done by the Association of State Correctional Administrators and the Liman Center for Public Interest Law. 

That reflects a drop nationwide, but the one statistic doesn’t provide a full picture of what is happening in individual states.



An excerpt from a letter by Mariam Abdullah written behind bars.(HuffPost)

Arizona, where Abdullah died, is tied for sixth highest in its use of solitary confinement. It has also seen an uptick in the number of suicides and instances of self-harm. During the fiscal year in which Abdullah killed herself, six prisoners died by suicide in Arizona prisons. In fiscal year 2018, there were seven suicides and 708 recorded instances of self-harm. For the last three-quarters of fiscal year 2019, after the state changed how it documented these events, there were six suicides, 87 suicide attempts and 1,406 non-suicidal instances of self-harm in the average daily population of about 42,000 inmates. A spokesperson from the Arizona Department of Corrections said the significant increase in instances of self-harm from 2018 to 2019 was in part because the department has “implemented a new method of data collection that dramatically improved the quality and level of information gathered and reported.”

There were two more suicides announced by the department last month — one on July 2, at Perryville, and another on July 22, at the Tucson facility.

In 2016, 40% of “long term secure facilities” reported locking youth in seclusion for at least four hours to “regain control of unruly behavior,” according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s Juvenile Residential Facility Census. In the same year, 21% of all juvenile residential facilities also reported locking youth in their rooms when they were deemed suicidal. The American Correctional Association, a nonprofit trade group that accredits correctional facilities, issued standards in 2018 that include banning the use of isolation beyond 30 days for minors and people with serious mental illness “unless there is an immediate and present danger to others,” but it’s not clear whether those standards have had any effect. 

And while there are generally limits on the amount of time minors can be isolated in juvenile facilities, if they are charged as adults, then they are typically subject to the rules of the adult facility.

Correctional facilities isolate people to punish them for behavioral issues or to prevent them from harming themselves or being harmed by others. But even when the isolation is purportedly for the person’s own good, experts say that being alone for 23 hours a day in a concrete cell typically smaller than a parking space takes a toll.

At Perryville, women “on watch” are initially stripped of their clothes, dressed in a short smock, and left in a bare cell where corrections officers either watch them continuously or do checks at 10- or 30-minute intervals, according to interviews with currently and formerly incarcerated women and a former Perryville mental health professional.

“They’re alone with their own thoughts, some of which may be negative, depressing,” Haney said. “There’s little to alleviate it. They begin to become depressed. Somebody who’s already depressed gets more depressed than they were before they went in.”

Isolation is a thread that ran through Abdullah’s life from early childhood.

At age 9, she, her mother Suhad, and three siblings fled their home in Iraq and moved to Tucson. At that point, she’d already experienced significant trauma. In an essay she wrote while in jail, she described having to “hide out” during the war “or else I would have died.” When she was 6, her father was beheaded — Abdullah said it was a robbery, but family friends suggest it was because he was assisting Americans during the war. 

In Tucson, Abdullah was bullied because she was from Iraq and didn’t speak English. Her mother worked long hours to support her children, but Suhad’s absence left Abdullah feeling like she had no one to whom she could turn.

“I hated myself,” Abdullah wrote in the essay. “I had no friends. I don’t understand why.”

In middle school, she decided it was better to be the bully than to be bullied. She began fighting, taking drugs and running away from home, and, according to friends, she joined a gang. The tough demeanor was a façade to mask loneliness and pain. “I always run and fight, assault, bully, steal, do drugs, have sex, go to jail to forget about all the pain. I have so much hurt and no one can see,” Abdullah wrote. It caused a rift with her mother because it was not in keeping with what was expected of a good Muslim girl.

She wanted to make her mom happy.Reina Hernandez, a friend of Abdullah’s

Child Protective Services eventually removed Abdullah because they felt her mother couldn’t control her, according to Corene Kendrick, an attorney at the Prison Law Office, a nonprofit public interest law firm based in Berkeley, California. Abdullah wound up a ward of the state, living in group homes.

“The trajectory of Mariam’s life, as her mother described it to me, was just a classic [case] of how systems fail children who have serious mental health needs or serious trauma,” said Kendrick, who first met Abdullah in May 2016 when she was in solitary confinement in Perryville’s minors unit.

On May 6, 2013, the state sent Abdullah to the Adobe Mountain School, a juvenile detention center, for a parole violation involving truancy from a group home, taking drugs and skipping school. She’d been there just 18 days when she was sent to the separation unit. She was isolated for only an hour and a half the first time — a hearing is required to hold youth for longer than 24 hours — but over the next year, Abdullah was isolated 83 times, because she was deemed a danger either to herself or to others. The longest she was held in isolation, according to Adobe Mountain records, was one day, 22 hours and 32 minutes.

She’d been out of Adobe Mountain and back in a group home for about a month when she ran away and committed the crime — she lured a man to a location where her boyfriend robbed him at gunpoint — for which she was sent to Estrella Jail and charged as an adult.

Like Burlew, Reina Hernandez met Abdullah through a vent. 

Hernandez, now 22, was in general population at Estrella, and Abdullah would call out to Hernandez and the other girls while she was taking her shower during the hour out of her cell. At times, Abdullah was released from closed custody and joined them in general population. They watched television, though there were only three channels — sports, weather and the Food Network.

They made their own makeup by mixing shavings from coloring pencils with gel and shampoo. Abdullah would braid their hair and thread their eyebrows. When Hernandez shaved off her eyebrows, thinking it would make them grow in thicker, Abdullah did the same, as a joke.

“She was always making us laugh,” Hernandez said.

Abdullah was a bundle of contradictions. She was jocular but angry. She was small with a softness to her, in both the lines of her face and her natural disposition, but did things to appear menacing. She had her boyfriend’s name — “Rey” — tattooed in large letters on the left side of her neck and was often aggressive with people she didn’t know. But with her friends, she was loyal.

“She would give you her last dollar if you were her friend,” Jasmine Flores, who was also at Estrella with Abdullah, said in a Facebook message. “And if you werent her friend she might just take it from you.” (The Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, which runs the jail, did not respond to requests to confirm that Burlew, Hernandez and Flores were there at the same time as Abdullah, and did not answer any other questions regarding Abdullah.) 

Abdullah told Hernandez and Flores that she planned to get her GED diploma. “She felt that she was the bad child, that she had made her mom suffer a lot,” Hernandez said. “She wanted to make her mom happy.”

But there were days when Abdullah didn’t seem to care much about her future or to appear bothered that she would be going to prison for several years.

“I knew she was sad about a couple things, but she always was optimistic,” Hernandez said. “She would just forget about it, you know? But maybe she bottled it up inside.” 

Abdullah’s prison medical records indicate that she had been diagnosed with mood disorder, bipolar disorder and narcissistic personality disorder and that she had attempted suicide 15 times, according to court statements.

The prison classified Abdullah as “SMI” — seriously mentally ill. She should have seen a mental health clinician every 30 days and been given extra programming due to her age and mental illnesses, under the 2015 settlement agreement in Parsons v. Ryan, a class-action lawsuit in which the American Civil Liberties Union and the Prison Law Office argued that the Arizona Department of Corrections was providing inadequate medical and mental health care and maintaining inhumane conditions in isolation units. 

But records show Abdullah never had one-on-one meetings with clinicians, according to court statements by Kendrick, who had access to Abdullah’s medical records as a lawyer monitoring compliance with the Parsons stipulations. (Despite the settlement, Parsons v. Ryan is an ongoing case: In June 2018, a judge issued an order of contempt against the Corrections Department for failure to comply with a number of the agreed-upon measures.)

Most of Abdullah’s encounters with mental health staff were brief exchanges to decide whether she could be removed from suicide watch cells. While in solitary confinement as a minor, Abdullah was not even given access to proper schooling, which was supposed to have taken place outside her cell with the other girls.

“She told us that her educational services consisted of the teacher coming back to the cell where she was, talking to her for a few minutes, and giving her little workbooks to do on her own,” Kendrick said.



Another excerpt from a letter sent by Mariam Abdullah.(HuffPost)

In May 2016, Kendrick found Abdullah in a cell by herself, where she said she’d been for two months. Abdullah had asked to speak with mental health staff but only received brief cell-front checks, and she indicated she’d been hallucinating, seeing jungle animals on the walls of her cell.

“She said they didn’t scare her because they kept her company,” Kendrick said. “There’s just something so profoundly sad about this young woman. She wasn’t upset or agitated. It made it even all the more profoundly affecting because she seemed so calm as she was describing these conditions that she had been put into and that she was living in that were just unconscionable.”

Two days before Abdullah’s 18th birthday, Kendrick wrote a letter to the Arizona assistant attorney general, asking that she be immediately removed from isolation and evaluated by clinic staff for potential placement in a unit that could treat her mental health conditions.

Instead, days after Abdullah turned 18, she was transferred to Lumley.

Wendy Anderson, 46, is four years into a life sentence at Perryville. As she sits on a bench outdoors in the visiting area, she pulls hand-rolled cigarettes from a clear plastic bag and burns through them, one after another, in a seamless cycle. She nervously shakes her left leg as she smokes.

The tattoo on Anderson’s left arm reads “no justice, no peace.” On her right, about an inch below the crook of her elbow, is Abdullah’s first name.

One of the stipulations in the Parsons v. Ryan settlement was that women classified SMI should be offered activities during their out-of-cell time. One such activity was an art class, and it was there, shackled to tables and coloring outlines of Disney characters with crayons, that Anderson said she first met Abdullah.

Anderson was struck that someone so young had been placed in Lumley, where those on death row and serving life sentences were also housed.

“She had a fresh face look, like a young kid,” Anderson said. “She was a minor and they just threw her to the wolves.”

Anderson considered herself Abdullah’s “jail mom.”

She tried her best to protect Abdullah from the women who harassed her, calling her “ISIS” and “bin Laden,” spitting on her and threatening to assault her.

They’re in pain to begin with, and then they get put in a painful segregation or isolation unit, they’re in even greater pain.Craig Haney, professor at the University of California, Santa Cruz

Abdullah asked to be moved to another unit, according to several women at the prison. She continued to harm herself and was frequently placed in suicide watch cells. On one occasion, when Abdullah was 17, a video recorded by prison staff shows her standing quietly defiant by a bunk bed as two women try to convince her to go to the watch cell voluntarily. She refuses, and several officers crowd around her as she presses herself into the corner where the bunk meets the wall.

“You’re not going to fight, because you’re not going to win,” an officer says.

But Abdullah fights, kicking even as officers carry her, one holding each limb, into a cell where she is cuffed and pinned down, and her clothes are cut off with shears.

While isolating someone to prevent them from harming themselves is a fine solution if there is immediate danger, being taken by force causes additional trauma. It is in essence an assault, said Haney, the expert on solitary confinement. Long-term isolation without treatment for whatever is causing the suicidal tendencies often creates a cycle.

“They’re in pain to begin with, and then they get put in a painful segregation or isolation unit, they’re in even greater pain,” Haney said. 

The issue is, in part, a lack of resources: There simply aren’t enough mental health staff to properly treat prisoners. Angela Fischer worked as a psychology associate for Corizon, the nation’s largest for-profit correctional health care provider, which from March 2013 until July 2019 provided health care services for the Arizona Department of Corrections. She testified during a Parsons v. Ryan hearing that one employee was assigned to mental health assessment and intake for as many as 80 people a day and that she was often called in to assist.

In addition, corrections officers who monitor the suicide watch cells sometimes don’t do checks as frequently as they are supposed to. The Corrections Department fired 13 employees in 2016, after an investigation found that the guards had falsified logs stating they were checking on inmates with mental illnesses every 30 minutes.

On June 29, 2016, according to Corrections Department records, Abdullah told an officer she wanted to kill herself. She was put in restraints, taken for a medical assessment and placed on watch for a week.

She was placed on watch again on July 10, 2016, a little over a week before her death, after an officer noticed a bite mark on her wrist. A video shows that as a nurse phones Dr. Webster, the psychologist on duty, Abdullah sits slouched in a chair, eyes closed, looking worn. The nurse relays Webster’s instructions that Abdullah be placed on continuous watch, meaning she will be in a cell with an officer watching her 24 hours a day. But when the two male officers take her arms, she resists.

“I’m not getting up,” she says.

Though she is sitting still, an officer keeps telling Abdullah to calm down. Then he tells her to get up, and when she refuses, three male officers throw her to the ground, where she strikes her nose on the concrete floor. Blood now dripping from her nose, Abdullah is pinned down and strapped to a gurney, a dark mask is placed over her head, and she is transported to the watch cell, where she remained until July 15.

Beyond providing the videos and records concerning Abdullah’s time in prison, Corrections Department officials declined to comment for this story. In their records documenting the use of force on July 10, prison staff note several times that they “assisted” or “placed” Abdullah on the ground, using “the least amount of force” necessary.

Abdullah’s mother did not want to speak publicly about her daughter’s death, but she talked with Kendrick shortly after Abdullah died.

“She kept saying, ‘I think she was murdered. I think she was murdered,’” Kendrick recalled. “But the longer I talked to her, I think it was more metaphorical. She was murdered by being bullied and not protected and not having adequate mental health care.”

One of the last times Hernandez saw Abdullah was on the eve of Hernandez’s 18th birthday, before she was transferred at midnight to the adult side of Estrella Jail. The girls wished Hernandez happy birthday, told her they loved her and were going to miss her.

“Mariam, she gave me a big old hug,” said Hernandez. “She said, ‘I’m going to see you.’”

Abdullah said that when she was released, she was going to take Hernandez to visit her mother in Tucson. They continued to write each other after Hernandez was let out of jail.

Hernandez keeps Abdullah’s letters in a shoebox in her closet. In most of them, Abdullah sounds upbeat. There are letters with drawings: stick figures of Abdullah and Hernandez, with butterflies and hearts, and “Mariam + Reyna = together forever.” But on one postcard, Abdullah writes about how hard it is to so often be alone.

“It was solitary,” Hernandez said, as she speculated about what it was that led Abdullah to take her own life. “It was so much over a period of time — and maybe lack of communication with us, friends, family. Maybe the meds.”

Though she’d caught glimpses of Abdullah’s sadness, Hernandez still struggles to accept her suicide, especially since she was just six months away from being released.

“She was strong. This is the girl, no matter what happens, she was going to be fine,” Hernandez said, her voice trailing off. “I don’t understand, I don’t understand it, I don’t understand …”

[winterironbang]

ART CLAIMS Winteriron RBB

Below you will find the names and descriptions of the entered pieces of art, please take care to read through them and be aware of any warnings when thinking about which piece it is you wish to claim. Make sure to have two in mind when choosing as your first choice may already be taken.

To claim a piece of art, send an email to winterironbang@gmail.com with the titles of your top two favourites. There may be a second round of claims if there are more authors who wish to participate, but this second round will not start until all pieces have been claimed in the first round.

I’ve just had a few people tell me they sent in asks trying to claim work but I have no record of them, from now on please claim via email only. If you have sent in an ask and not had an email with one of the drafts you claimed, please email me. I have sent out the drafts to everyone that I have seen a claim from so far, if you havent got a draft in you inbox your claim may not have come through, please consider claiming one of the works still available.

I’m so sorry about this, I’m not sure why I haven’t been recieving those asks and I do apologise to everyone it has effected.

Title: By my side Description/Prompt: Tony and Bucky have been in a secret relationship for a while. After Civil War events, they talked things out and after some time everything turned right for them. They can't see each other so easily because of the Sokovia Accords, so they take advantage of every second they spend together. It has been four months since last time they saw each other, Tony noticed he has been followed lately and had to stop their meetings. Tony, despites everything, have been working on a way to change some things on the accords to also protect heroes, he wants to help Bucky and the others so they can stop being fugitives, wanting a normal life with the one he loves and wanting the world to be a better place with heroes protecting it. He planned a meeting in Wakanda to discuss the issue with T'Challa and also using that as an excuse to see Bucky again. Bucky thinks it's time to tell everyone about their relationship, but Tony is still reluctant about it, he wants everything to be solved first. Warnings: Explicit Limitations: I don't want: unhappy ending, cheating, death of Bucky or Tony, bashing any character. A/N: It's based on MCU~ Love the idea of them having this kind of pure love inside some sort of forbidden relationship. Not only for what had happened between them, also because of the accords. The art is a moment they share together after the meeting in Wakanda. Hope you like it~

Title: Exposure Description/Prompt: Set of 2 drawings. Setting: sci-fi/android AU? 1. A digital drawing/painting of a Winter Soldier-esque Bucky, wearing a lower face mask, carrying a wounded Tony in his arms. It's darkly lit, and he's standing knee deep in reflective water. Tony's chest cavity is exposed, showing metal and wiring. There's a faint glow of the arc reactor. 2. A digital drawing/painting of a shirtless Tony about to kiss Bucky over his face mask. There's smoke venting out of Bucky's face mask. Warnings: N/A Limitations: Would prefer if there wasn't solely pre-slash, or include major character death, infidelity, dub/non con, or unhappy ending. A/N: Drafts are not finalized so looking forward to working with the author to fill in details!

Title: Post-apocalyptic Description/Prompt: Post-apocalyptic AU! Scrappy mechanic Tony meets badass loner and fighter Bucky (with a clunky metal arm)? Maybe some getting to know (and later: trust) each other and surviving (together?) in a hostile world? Trying to make a living? Warnings: - Limitations: Bucky and Tony should survive. No sad ending. A/N: The art is a design for Bucky. Optional art: Bucky watching over a sleeping Tony. Let’s brainstorm together.

Title: A Quiet Evening in Description/Prompt: It's hard to braid your hair one handed. Thankfully Tony doesn't mind lending his hands and his cats, Dum-E, U, and Butterfingers don't mind having someone extra around the apartment to spoil them. Warnings: None Limitations: Would prefer no pwp

Title: Snow White/ Fantasy AU Description/Prompt: Huntsman Bucky is sent out to assassinate Prince Tony in the woods and bring his heart to King Obie. The problem? Prince Tony turns out pretty hard to kill, and his heart is a price worth way way more than Bucky could have imagined. Not to mention the hunter is haunted by his own demons... One drawing is of the two fighting in the woods, the other of Huntsman Bucky crouching, (his dragon arm showing), and having a L'Oreal hair moment. Warnings: violence (semi-graphic? they are fighting - there's no blood, but non-sexy choking) Limitations: please no damsel-in-distress Tony, character bashing, and dub/non-con A/N: You can take the prompt or leave it, (although I'd love some huntsman Bucky and maybe technomancer Tony) and I would love to help you brainstorm and cheer you on. I generally like traumatized Bucky more than pre-war Bucky but I'm open for everything. :)

Title: Noir Description/Prompt: Iron Man Noir AU with Tony and Bucky standing arm in arm on Tony’s airship, looking down at the clouds. They lean into each other. Warnings: none Limitations: MCD, darkfic, A/N: I would love to talk about it all.

Title: Not really a villain Description/Prompt: Tony knows about the Winter Soldier: He's an assassin, often working for Hydra. He has killed or maimed politicians and secret agents alike, most recently he'd been after Alexander Pierce. Everyone knows about Iron Man: He's a villain, although some people want to call him vigilante. He blows up Stark Industries' facilities and takes apart crime syndicates. When they meet, it seems unlikely that their goals align, but they might have more in common than they know. But, you can't just trust a villain, can you? Picture: In a dark room, Iron Man is aiming a repulsor at the Winter Soldier. The soldier is almost hidden in the darkness of the room, looking serious, and armed with knife and gun. Warnings: Limitations: Please let it end somewhat happy. Please no MCD, or actually evil Tony and Bucky. A/N: brainstorming together is one of my favourite things.

Title: Concubine AU Description/Prompt: When Bucky gets sold as a concubine, he already knows how this works: keep your head down and hope his new master doesn't notice him too much. Getting noticed either brings pain, or pain and… other attention. Slowly, he notices that King Stark is not at all like the rumors suggested… The art is Bucky, posing with some jewellery and revealing clothes. Warnings: partial nudity? Limitations: No dubcon or noncon between Bucky and Tony, dark Tony, major character death, or too much gore. A/N: Dark themes are fine though. Maybe some pain, some recovery? I usually like stories where they grow to love each other before they end up having sex.
Stuckony is also an option. I’d love to talk about ideas and plot!

Title : Fateful Encounters Description/Prompt : Iron Man AU Tony and Bucky meet at the gala. Bucky is a businessman like Tony. They end up liking each other a lot. Everyone is human. Bucky likes riding bikes just like Tony loves cars. Tony becomes iron man but he himself destroys the suit after Stane is dead. He doesn’t believe the world needs that kind of technology. Stark industries also goes into making better medical equipment’s.   So, the only ones who know about him being iron man are Rhodey, Pepper and later Bucky.  Iron man becomes an urban legend of sorts. They date for a while and when they decide to move things further it’s very special for both of them. Bucky is extremely proud to learn that his boyfriend had been iron man. He realizes that himself as he spends time with Tony. A year or two later Tony develops  MCU stabilized extremis and gets rid of the arc reactor. This knowledge he does share with the medical community. Warnings : No Warnings Limitations : I don't want these two pairings in the story in any way or form. Not even a slight mention. Not even as a joke or an offhand comment. Nothing. Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff Tony Stark and Sunset Bain No Steve and Loki bashing. If the latter isn't even in the story, that's fine. No cheating, non-con, child abuse and alcohol abuse. A/N : Happy ending for the story.  And there are two more pieces of art.

Title: Long Distance Disaster [working title] Description/Prompt: Still struggling with guilt and/or due to pressure from the government, Bucky agrees to go on a long term mission to space. Tony is very unhappy to be left alone. Long distance relationships are tough; even more so when Bucky’s mission ends in a fiery crash leaving Bucky seriously injured and Tony afraid that he’s about to lose the love of his life. Format: Video, expected final length roughly 4:30 minutes. Clips primarily drawn from Iron Man (1, 2, and 3), The Soloist, Political Animals, The Martian, and Gossip Girl. Audio drawn from the same sources as the clips, as well as Ally McBeal, and the song “If There’s A Rocket Tie Me To It” by Snow Patrol. Warnings: Established relationship, guilt, near-death-experience/serious injury, relationship drama, hospitals, angst. Limitations: Happy endings only. I’d strongly prefer that either Civil War never happened, or the fic is set far enough past it that it doesn’t come up at all. No bashing of other characters/ships, especially Pepper and Tony should be on good/friendly terms if she’s around in the fic. A/N: I’d love to brainstorm/discuss the fic. I tried to leave it as flexible and open as possible and I don’t expect the fic to necessarily follow the video exactly.

Title : Fools in love Description/Prompt :  Bucky and Tony have a friends with benefits kind of relationship. Bucky went through a very bad break up with his boyfriend and it hurts Tony to see him like that.  He’d liked him for a while. They end up sleeping together and come to an arrangement of sorts. Tony is literally like : I’ll take what I can get. He is not going to burden Bucky with his feelings when he is going through such a hard time.  Tony is usually sad and he’s virgin too. One day it gets too much and Bucky sort of shouts at Tony. Tony starts crying. Bucky realizes he loves Tony and berates himself for not realizing Tony had always loved him. They are both engineers and enjoy reading a lot. They are in their twenties. Warnings : No Warnings Limitations : I don't want these two pairings in the story in any way or form. Not even a slight mention. Not even as a joke or an offhand comment. Nothing. Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff Tony Stark and Sunset Bain No Steve and Loki bashing. If the latter isn't even in the story, that's fine. No cheating, non-con, child abuse and alcohol abuse. A/N : Happy ending for the story.  And there are two more pieces of art.

Title: Winter Piano Teacher [working title] Description/Prompt: Concerned for her son, Maria Stark decides that Tony needs more in his life than computers and robots. Little does she know that HYDRA has taken the opportunity to install a sleeper agent in the Stark household. Tony certainly didn’t expect to fall in love with his enigmatic, volatile piano tutor. Format: Video, expected final length roughly 2 minutes. Clips and audio primarily drawn from Political Animals, Ally McBeal, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, piano instrumental music, and “The Winter Soldier” theme. Warnings: brainwashing, deception, implied abuse, typical winter soldier stuff Limitations: In this AU I do not want Bucky to be responsible for the Stark parents’ death. Happy endings only. Tony cannot be younger than 17; I would prefer he be 21. A/N: I would love to brainstorm/talk over the fic together. I have 2-3 of “fixed points” of the plot that are important to me but I tried to leave as much of it open to the author’s discretion as possible. You don’t have to follow everything shown in the video exactly.

Title: Mob Mentality Description/prompt: Comic panel style. First panel sees Steve, Bucky, and Natasha entering. All look angry. There is evidence of blood on them. Second panel shows bound hands, obviously injured and bleeding from the ropes that tie them. Third panel has a furious Bucky screaming ,”Where is he?!” Fourth shows Tony looking down, distraught, but he raises his head at something, saying “Bucky?” Last panel isn't sketched out quite yet, but I plan to have them embracing. Warnings: Blood, though not gallons of it or anything. Implied violence that is off panel. Limitations: Happy ending. No infidelity. No graphic or gratuitous torture. No death of main characters. A/N: I personally headcanon this as a Mob AU (as evidenced by the name) but I would be happy with any story the art inspires! Art

Title: Rocket Science Description/Prompt: Tony's at MIT, sleep deprived on the first day of classes, and ends up walking into an intro to physics course and taking a seat next to freshman Bucky. Tony becomes aware of things half-way through class, realizes he's in the wrong place (he doesn't even *have* class at this time!), and has a moment of panic/annoyance. Bucky thinks Tony's having trouble following the lecture, and offers to study with him. Tony almost blows him off but "oh no he's cute." Cue Tony having to attend a class he doesn't take and play dumb through tutoring/study sessions he doesn't need in order to have an excuse to hang out with Bucky (but he's SO BORED and itching to show Bucky some good shortcuts and correct his math). (Art description: Tony and Bucky are seated at a library table, disposable coffee cups, books, and notes strewn across it. Bucky is pointing something out to Tony in a textbook, while Tony looks on attentively. Both are college age. Bucky's left sleeve is pinned up; he's an amputee.) Warnings: none Limitations: no big age gap, no ABO 'verse, no unhappy endings A/N: Any additions of identity porn (i.e. Bucky doesn't realize he's been tutoring the famous genius heir to the Stark empire) would be welcome; the prompt is open to discussion (nothing's set in stone). I'd love to be included in the brainstorming if possible. :D

Title: Mafia!au Description/Prompt:  Tony is seated in a chair with a gun in one hand pointing towards viewer, while Bucky is in a suit standing to behind his left shoulder.  I was thinking Mob Boss!Tony with Bucky as enforcer/bodyguard/something like that. Warnings: I don’t think any, but there is a gun being pointed at someone off-screen Limitations:  No MCD please, I am fine with smut as long as there is no bottom!tony, other than that can’t think of anything right now- I am pretty open A/N: Look forward to working with you!

Title: No title yet

Description/Prompt: Tony learns about his parents’ murder and, against Natasha’s warnings, decides to go looking for the Winter Soldier. When he finds him in cryosleep in the hidden depths of a Hydra base, he rashly decides to wake him up…

Submission is a fanvid, so warning to the author that there’s only so much flexibility with the plot because of needing to stay close to the source material, but I’m excited to work with them to figure out how the fanvid will go :)

Warnings: None

Limitations: No Mpreg

Title: Escape from the Murderbots (working title) Description/Prompt: Tony and Bucky stand together, Tony is slightly in front, holding a strange piece of tech in his right hand, there is bandage around his left bicep, and the arc reactor is visible through his tank top. Bucky stands on his left, touching Tony's shoulder. Buck is only wearing  a pair of drawstring sweatpants; he is pointing to the left, out of frame, with his metal hand, there is a cuff of some sort on his metal wrist. In front of them and behind them are hovering drones, pointing guns at them. The background is a dark, futuristic cityscape with lit up signs advertising 'Viastone - Bring Your Dreams to Life', and other slogans. Warnings: None that I'm aware of. Canon typical peril? Limitations: No major character death. No non-con between Tony and Bucky. No dark!Tony or dark!Bucky. Also, no character bashing, please. Definitely would like a happy ending. A/N: The Viastone signs haven't been worked in yet, and can be changed to a different company, or Hydra, or something completely different, if that fits better with your plot or ideas, I just kind of liked the potential creepiness of Dream vision, also Ty as Tony's creepy ex could be interesting. I don't really have an idea of a plot, just the concept of a vaguely cyberpunk scene in which Tony and Bucky are being pursued by flying drones that want to shoot them, so feel free to go wherever that takes you. I'd love to hear what ideas you have.

Title: Dr Dolittle AU

Description/Prompt:

Fluff/ crack

If powered AU i.e. Avengers-compliant AU(sans TS as Iron Man)- On the day before the fateful night that Howard and Maria would have died, Tony dropped the bombshell that he was going to become a vet instead? Howard was too busy calling up lawyers and ranting at the sky about disowning Tony to drive them to their deaths. WS waits by the road until he gets bored, murders his handlers and runs away? Else post CA-WS?

WS!BB has been in hiding at a special needs animal sanctuary (for lots of pics - goats of anarchy, edgar’s mission) that TS volunteers at, doing check ups and fitting  prosthetics.

Does WS!BB approach the vet about a new arm? Does WS ever get the goats to stop eating his sleeves off? Will they ever get the animals to stop tripping them up and falling into compromising positions atop each other?

Hilarity ensues. Also probable pining, bored match-making goats who are fed up of their caretakers.

(Besides designing prosthetics for animals, Tony also makes collars for animals that translate thoughts into speech, like Dug in Up or soft-cyber implants from Rats,Bats & Vats, gaining him the nickname Dr Dolittle? Animals love him regardless, like he’s a Disney Princess) Healthcare for animals is incredibly technologically advanced and has to be reverse engineered for human usage lol?  If non-powered au, anything you like! just crack/ fluff about mutual pining between volunteers at special needs animal shelter? It’s like a coffee shop- meet cute AU but with additional baby goats playing the floor is lava.

Warnings: -

Limitations: Stark seniors not murdered by Winter Soldier. No bad endings, dub-con/non-con, a/b/o

A/N: Super secret super-soldier serum picked up by SHIELDRA since Howard was too busy rage screaming. Results in more Shieldra supersoldiers in Avengers Initiative? Howard designs Ironmonger? Chitauri Battle of NY, no nukes? Alternatively Hulk or heroic Vanko in Iron Man suit launches the nuke through the portal? Jarvis the alpaca- Just A Really Very Intelligent South-american-camelid? You is an ewe? DumE, a very recalcitrant llama wielding a mean wrench? Butterfingers? The universe is saved from Thanos by an enraged herd of enhanced llamas? https://i.redd.it/8vncab0cz3jz.jpg

Sorry, it’s all crack, feel free to yell at me if it decides to consume your brain

Title: Fantasy - Dragonrealm/ Forgotten Realms??? inspired AU Description/Prompt: Undead dragon/ dracolich, the Red Skull, captures other dragons and restores his rotting body with parts carved from his prisoners. Mage-knight/Artificer (Tony) rescues an imprisoned dragon(Bucky) from the clutches of the Red Skull and his cult(Hydra). image desc - A dracolich confronting two men(backs facing viewer). One is injured and leaning on the other who has his hand raised with a spell. Warnings: not in image, but for story - likely to have mentions of torture and non-consensual body modification Limitations: no dub-con, non-con, vore, a/b/o, protagonist death A/N: In the Dragonrealm series, drakes can take the alternate form of a fully armoured knight.
In Forgotten Realms, dracoliches are usually surrounded by a cult that worships them (and performs the phylactery transfer process)
http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Dracolich Prompt completely open for discussion/reworking, words hard, please message

Title: Loving a Vampire Description/Prompt: Bucky is a vampire, Tony is a human. They meet, eventually fall in love, wear 'wedding bands' on chains around their necks. Warnings: N/A Limitations: N/A A/N: Would like more angst and drama than fluff, preferred rating for fic would be M or higher.

Title: And From The Dark Description/prompt: The prompt that inspired me was actually a writing one that went along the lines of: “do you want to die?” “that's a loaded question, if I say no that means I want to be immortal. If I say yes that means I'm suicidal.” I'm imagining a demon/fantasy Au(However I am open to Tony messing around with things he shouldn't and being transported to this place via science/magic) and the image itself is of Tony and Demon!Bucky on a balcony in a cavern, with Bucky leaning over Tony holding his chin. Maybe Tony has entered their domain for some reason? Or is trying get out to surface? And encounters Bucky. Warnings: little bit of blood. (Not much tho, a couple small injuries) Limitations: none that I can think of. A/N: I am a big fan of darker works and would love to see where this could go. I'm more than willing to help brainstorm if the author is open to that. And beta if needed.

Title: Found in an Alley Description/Prompt: Bucky is broke and wandering around the alleys when he finds android Anthony. Warnings: Nudity (not explicit) Limitations: N/A A/N: Author will pretty much have free reign on what they want to write, prefer that the fic itself be rated Teen or higher

Title: Mission in space Description and/or prompt: Bucky and Tony are on another planet, wearing spacesuits. They are looking at a strange flower. There are mountains and a starry sky with two moons in the background. What are they doing there and what is the plant?   Warnings: - Limits: No major character death or super dark fic or unhappy ending please! A/N: I'm open to most everything! Things I like but don't need to be included are plotty fic, humor, fluff and pining :D

Title: Reactive Art descriptions: Bucky, holding the arc-reactor in his hands, flames on one side, smoke on the other./ Bucky crying, the black mask still covering his face. Art prompt: Partially Infinity-War compliant (except for the ending). After the initial battle, the team regroups and discovers that Tony is still missing. Bucky embraces his old identity as the Winter Soldier to track Tony down. It's the only way he can set his morals aside and do what he has to do to bring Tony back. (I am open to other prompts based on the art description - happy to work with the author to come up with something different!) Warnings: n/a Limits: None. All Author's choice. A/N: Would love for this to be a dark fic, possibly with major injury and/or a death scare. Angst and hurt/comfort preferable. Happy ending or not, author's choice. Art is about 90% complete, although I may want to create more pieces depending on where the author goes with the story.

Title: By the Glittering Sea Description: Bucky is a newly hired employee of an aquarium, and he quickly realizes that they have some interesting exhibits. Mainly the one with a large tank in the middle of the entrance floor, showcasing a merman, who looks very unhappy to be there. He then realizes that he needs to get him out, with the help of his friends, of course. Warnings: None that apply so far Limitations: No rape/ non-con, or major character death. A/N: Tony is obviously the merman in the situation, but whoever writes the story can figure out how they get him out and what will happen if they do.

Title: Ill met by Moonlight Description: Tony finds a transformed Bucky in a cage at an 'abandoned' hydra base, who is stuck behind a huge bulletproof glass coating. In any way the author wants it, they escape and the rest of the story will be about Tony and Bucky learning to heal together. Warnings: There will be violence, nothing out of the ordinary for the Marvel universe. Limitations: No rape/non-con, or major character death. A/N: I based Bucky's werewolf form loosely off of the Skyrim werewolves.

Title: Those Soft Petals Description: Tony slowly realizes, to his horror, that he's fallen for James "Bucky" Barnes. The only problem with that is =, Bucky seems to despise him. He doesn't like him because of what he did to Steve and Bucky that fateful night in the abandoned Hydra bunker. Of course, Tony still has nightmares from that night, of the blood, filling his lungs as he truly believed he was going to die, but now isn't the time for that. RIght now he needs to figure out why he's coughing up these damn flowers. Warnings: Tony does what severe PTSD from that night, piled on top of the Afghanistan hostage situation from years ago. Limitations: No rape/non-con, or major character death. A/N: You can choose a different flower if you'd like, but I think the peony would be good, considering it's the state flower of Indiana.

[hesthekingofsomewhere]

Yet Another Chatfic pt 5

part 1 I 2 I 3 I 4

this is a long chapter! and im posting it ahead of schedule! bc I love yall!

please leave comments! likes! I love feedback!

Also! this chapter has a peek into sarah, finch, and alberts groupchat

Queens of New York

8:15

santagay: say yeet if you made it home alive

DJacobs: Yeet!

SJ420: yeet

richbitch: yeet

Spot8365631: yeet

respecs: yeet

albiehadalittlelamb: yeet

WhereforeArtThou: yeet

noteventhatshort: yeet

SJ420: wheres finchy boy?

littlebirdie: still at their apt

littlebirdie: oh right

littlebirdie added crispycrutch to Queens of New York

PM with albiehadalittlelamb

santagay: al, finch slept over

albiehadalittlelamb: yeah ik?

santagay: i hate to say this and be that guy, but al, he slept in crutchies room

santagay: ik whats its like to be cheated on, and i never thought i would be having this conversation about finch but I dont want you to get hurt.

albiehadalittlelamb: ill ask finch, im sure nothing happened

PM with littlebirdie

albiehadalittlelamb: did my fake bf cheat on me?

littlebirdie: …

albiehadalittlelamb: GET SOME BOIII

littlebirdie: lmao so your not mad?

albiehadalittlelamb: why would I be mad? even if we were dating id be chill about this, ik you have a huge thing for crutchie and lord knows youd never get any action from me

albiehadalittlelamb: the only problem is that jack thinks your cheating on me

littlefinch: ok so should we fake-break up? cuz i kind of dont want to, but if jack thinks im cheating on you…

albiehadlittlelamb: i have a plan

albiehadalittlelamb: does crutchie know that were fake dating?

littlebirdie: ye, theres no way i would even be allowed into his room if we were actually dating

albiehadalittlelamb: ok but heres the thing, if jack thinks you cheated on me, then race probably thinks the same

littlebirdie: oooHHHHHH

littlebirdie: so now im also fake cheating on you so that race will feel bad and fall for you and your sad situation

albiehadalittlebird: exactly!

littlebirdie: nice! what could possibly go wrong

Queens of New York

respecs: so why is this chat called queens of new york

inyourFACEtrack: well you see…

inyourFACEtrack: twas all hallows eve 2017

inyourFACEtrack: and 7 of us showed up to kaths halloween as drag queens completely independantly

noteventhatshort: and sarah kath jack and i were dressed as disney princesses

respecs: thats beautiful

respecs: and here i thought it was bc ?everyone? here is lbgtq

santagay: well if you think about it, its both

richbitch: when was the last time we even had a straight in this chat?

crispycrutch: i think  we had morris in the chat for a week when he was dating romeo

santagay: oh god i forgot about that

SJ420: does he even count as a straight?

inyourFACEtrack: well there was a reason he was only in the chat for a week so…

santagay: true, speaking of which

santagay: specs, if you ever hurt romeo, we will find out where you live and steal all of you soap lest you ever get a date again

respecs: noted?

SJ420: he gave me the same threat when I started dating kath lmao

santagay: it worked didnt it?

SJ420: im hate you

santagay: you loved me once loser

WhereforeArtThou: oh shit he went there

inyourFACEtrack: oooooooooooo

crispycrutch: ??????

SJ420: once upon a time i thought i was a het, and then i dated jack for like 2 months

SJ420: and 90% of our relationship was checking out pretty girls together

SJ420: so i figured i should date those pretty girls

noteventhatshort: BIG MOOD

SJ420: for the record the other 10% of the relationship was jack checking out “cute” boys and me being like eh

santagay: and herre i thought you were just trying to stop me from being jealous

SJ420: jack at one point i kissed another girl in front of you and you did not care

noteventhatshort: AHHH

inyourFACEtrack: OOOF

richbitch: AN ICON

santagay: ok well

SJ420: don’t even try bud

DJacobs: That’s my sister!!!!!

santagay: but at least you didnt hide it

santagay: at least you werent kissing people behind my back like SOME people in this chat

SJ420: ????

Spot8365631: i thought you were over that

santagay: i am i just need to have moral high ground over someone

inyourFACEtrack: wait what

noteventhatshort: is this chat just stories of jack getting cheated on now?

richbitch: im living for this

richbitch: jack cant keep a man nor woman

noteventhatshort: but whats this about spot cheating on jack?

santagay: he BROKE my FRAGILE 15 y/o HEART

santagay: but spottie was too cool, lived too fast, couldnt be tied down to one man

Spot8365631: also david was a much better kisser

SJ420: OH SHIT PLOT TWIST

richbitch: CALLED OUT

inyourFACEtrack: 911? theres been a murder?

DJacobs: This…. is true.

inyourFACEtrack: THE LEGEND HIMSELF SPEAKS

respecs: i am living for the drama in this chat

crispycrutch: were kind of a mess tbh

respecs: i understand and completely respect that

inyourFACEtrack: you reSPECt that?

respecs: haha very funny not like thats my goddamn username or anything

Spot8365631: roasted

inyourFACEtrack: bitch

inyourFACEtrack: YO JACK ROMEO, GOT MY MFN 29TH

santagay: fuck offfffff

WhereforeArtThou: this bet is unfair

WhereforeArtThou: im only attracted to one gender, thats less than half the people to ask

santagay: dude ur still winning

WhereforeArtThou: yeah but its a lot more work

inyourFACEtrack: i only have 1 girls number, i think its p even

santagay: this seems like something you should have considered when we started

WhereforeArtThou: ok but consider this

WhereforeArtThou: i didnt

inyourFACEtrack: ok but consider this

inyourFACEtrack: ur a dumbass

WhereforeArtThou: strong words coming from a guy who threw a wii remote out the window

noteventhatshort: fight fight fight fight

inyourFACEtrack: my embarrassments are not ur entertainment smalls

noteventhatshort: ur embarrassments are my only entertainment what r u talking about

Spot8365631: also everything you do is embarrassing

inyouFACEtrack: i feel betrayed

santagay: you should

santagay: i once saw u put hot chocolate mix in oj

inyourFACEtrack: it tastes like a terrys chocolate orange i stand by my choices

crispycrutch: you snorted mr noodles seasoning bc spot told you to

inyourFACEtrack: and i got 20$ for it

Spot8365631: u didnt “””get”””” 20$ ur debt to me was just slightly reduced

inyourFACEtrack: EITHER WAY

crispycrutch: once i watched u drop a spoon into a pot of boiling water and stick ur hand in to get it

inyourFACEtrack: i think ur point has been made, thnk u crutchie

Spot8365631: please do not stop, hes had it coming

crispycrutch: i will stop only bc i value my safety and so i still have receipts for the future

inyourFACEtrack: oh god

inyourFACEtrack: why did i think it was a good idea to live with you

crispycrutch: bc you love me and i contribute to the rent

inyourFACEtrack: touche

crispycrutch: besides, i would have dirt on you regardless

crispycrutch: i have seen each and every one of you do stupid stuff, no one is safe

inyourFACEtrack: mooooom crutchies being meannnn

DJacobs: Crutchie, please delete your blackmail.

crispycrutch: how can i delete it when its in my brain

santagay: i have never been more scared of crutchie

SJ420: crutchie is my idol

crispycrutch: that does not make you safe my friend

SJ420: honestly at this point you could reveal anything about me and i would not care

SJ420: i have reached a god status where nothing you say could possibly embarrass me

richbitch: im so in love with you

SJ420: love you too babe

PM with SJ420

richbitch: ik youre in the next room but i dont want dave to hear, but I got a dinner reservation for two tomorrow at 7 and was wondering if you would like to join me

SJ420: i mean of course, but why are you asking me like this

richbitch: because

richbitch: also you should wear that dress you got for christmas

SJ420: ok?

More Than Just Cigars

SJ420: kath is acting weird

albiehadalittlelamb: what kind of weird

albiehadalittlelamb: like “i just lost a lot of money” weird

albiehadalittlelamb: “i just took a bunch of acid” weird?

littlebirdie: oh no is it “i just slept with jack” weird?!

SJ420: oh god no

SJ420: she texted me and asked me on a date

SJ420: i asked her why and she said because

littlebirdie: !!!!!!!!!

littlebirdie: DID SHE ASK YOU TO WEAR SOMETHING SPECIFIC

SJ420: ye, a dress from christmas

albiehadalittlelamb: OH MYYYYY GODDDDDDDD

littlebirdie: GIRL

SJ420: what????

littlebirdie: jfc ur blind

albiehadalittlelamb: if u havent caught on yet we cant morally help u srry

SJ420: GUYS PLEASE

littlebirdie: nope

albiehadalittlelamb: have fun on ur date tho

PM with santagay

albiehadalittlelamb: oh yeah finch did not, in fact cheat on me

albiehadalittlelamb: he was just making up with crutchie last night, they had a fight

santagay: and u trust finch in this

albiehadalittlelamb: ofc, ive known finch a long time, he would never

santagay: ok if you insist, i just dont want you to get hurt

albiehadalittlelamb: thanks jack

Queens of New York

littlebirdie: anyone else just, super glad that theyre gay?

littlebirdie: bc thats such an important feeling

DJacobs: Me too, Finch

Spot8365631: rt

SJ420: rt

noteventhatshort: rt

WhereforeArtThou: rt

albiehadalittlelamb: rt

santagay: rt but bi

inyourFACEtrack: rt but bi

richbitch: rt but bi

respecs: rt but bi

crispycrutch: rt but pan

littlebirdie has changed Queens of New York to Queers of New York

inyourFACEtrack: helllllll yeah

Spot8365631: no cussing, my mom checks my phone

inyourFACEtrack: oh my goodness im so sorry spot

inyourFACEtrack: ill delete the message right away

DJacobs: What?

DJacobs: Why does your mom check your messages, Spot?

DJacobs: You’re 23 and moved out?

DJacobs: Also I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you swear in this chat.

DJacobs: This is a meme, isn’t it?

santagay: u got there on ur own!

santagay: im so proud of u!

DJacobs: Thank you, Jack.

inyourFACEtrack: why does it feel like everyone is in loving and healthy relationships except me?

PM with inyourFACEtrack

Spot8365631: wow rude

inyourFACEtrack: were not in a relationship remember?

Queers of New York

DJacobs: Jack and I are not dating.

santagay: dude, were mom and dad, i think that’s close enough

respecs: question, in this mom/dad thing, who is everyone else

santagay: kath and sarah are the aunts obvi

inyourFACEtrack: smalls, romeo, crutchie, al, and i are their kids

inyourFACEtrack: finch used to be one of the kids but now hes dating al so that seems weird

inyourFACEtrack: i guess hes sarahs kid now?

SJ420: awwww i love my new son

respecs: what about spot?

santagay: hes kind of… his own entity… like an estranged uncle or neighbor that spends more time in ur house than his own

Spot8365631: rude but accurate

santagay: thats my name dont wear it out

Spot8365631: i hate you sm

santagay: then y r u always in my house???

Spot8365631: this metaphor has gone to far. blocked deleted and unfollowed.

santagay: honestly? thats fair

santagay: i respect ur choices

Spot8365631: sounds fake but ok

PM with Spot8365631

inyourFACEtrack: in a beautiful twist of fate, crutchie jack are going to see a movie with davey and kath, and im home alone with a meat lovers pizza on its way

Spot8365631: ok?

inyourFACEtrack: would you care to join me?

Spot8365631: no, sounds too much like a date, and were not in a relationship right?

inyourFACEtrack: dude, were friends, sharing a pizza, and maybe having anal sex

inyourFACEtrack: thats not a date its just what we do

Spot8365631: still no, i have to finish a foreign policy essay for tomorrow

inyourFACEtrack: oh ok

[overbakedone]

1

this is the first time i've ever started writing my thoughts and feelings anywhere before. this is not easy.

instead of writing things and then deleting it all because its not good enough or it sounds stupid i'm just going to write it now and stop backspacing. i guess i should start with where i am in life right now so there is some perspective.

im 25, im a bakers apprentice, i live with my parents, i have a girlfriend, lets call her ‘C’ who for the first time feels right to me despite everything, i barely have any friends, they don't ever want to see me, i don't have much time in my life right now, i work all night and struggle to fit sleep into my schedule. but things are really the best they have ever been for me. i just started an AFL 9′s competition, weird i usually have no confidence going into these things and will either quit after the first practice or not even show up, i really kinda enjoyed it and am excited for next week.

i've wanted to start writing anything for a few months now, i guess now i have some time. time is so fucked up, i wish there was more of it, i wish i could sleep without wasting my day, i wish i didn't have to compromise sleep for everything but i do, i guess its part of being a baker, its a job i am loving and i think i've found my life passion but it has its ups and downs. my partner C expects a lot of my time i guess, she can be very needy at times, demanding almost, sometimes i feel pressured by her to sacrifice my sleep, personal plans and hobbies and interests for her, but i know what she feels, she wants the same thing i do. she has problems making friends, or keeping friends, she feels isolated and alone, and she wants my companionship, and i want that too and despite anything i feel in the moment i always feel happy about her at the end of the day.

i should be grateful for the relationship i am in right now, i really should be grateful for a lot of stuff, my parents for allowing me to stay here still, being so supportive and also allowing and accepting of me and really tolerant of the shit i do. ok so i do smoke week every day right so that's already something to do at home that's difficult, i'm pretty sure they know and don't care or even agree that my life has been better since i started smoking, fuck i used to be on antidepressants, i took one every day at a certain time, it made me feel a bit better, ok sounds just like smoking right, expect when i didn't take this pill i got nausea, headaches, severe episodes of depression, i couldn't eat my appetite was so fucked up i was eating one meal a day and it was like a piece of bread or takeaway food. since the smoking started i've found some actual passion in life, i don't feel like a useless number anymore i guess.

one of the things on my mind always is my friends, since i was in highschool i havent really had a group of friends, i feel like i am a social person but then when it comes to it i feel like i just get burned. a lot of my old friends turned out to be secretly hating me and not wanting me around, some sort of pity friendship, i was an asshole in my time and honestly was not a good friend myself, do you pay for the dumb shit you do as a teenager, the people you fuck over go from your life completely yet new people you meet do the same things to you like they know. i had/have a long term best friend, J, we had been mates for years, we worked at my old job dominoes together for a bit, and kinda hung out a few times, but not until we got into PC gaming together did we form a bond. after that we would chat every day, play games together, watch the footy together, go places even though he lived across the city from me. one thing that changed massively in my life was i quit drinking alcohol, and then i felt like all my friends both disagree with my choice and resent me for it, like for some reason i have to take the same drugs they are taking at that time to be their friends. so J has just grown more and more distant, i get that we are older now, we both have partners, jobs that take a lot of our time, but then when we hang out or talk he seems disinterested, more interested with his friends that i introduced him to (from our discord server) and has seemingly replaced me, none of these guys i really like at all, in fact the only one of the new group i like is the one girl in it because she actually has interesting things to say.

fuck that was a paragraph, i guess i should talk about alcohol.

alcohol has fucked up my life, i cant repair the mistakes and stupid things i did while drinking alcohol, so they are there, i guess its just talking about it left. to start off, when i drink alcohol i have a hard time finding my limit, i feel like i swing from nothing to completely blacked out, puking, sobbing and basically hating myself very quick, i feel sick for days after drinking, barely able to eat, leave bed, move, i feel so nauseous and tired, its so fucked up what it does to your body, but oh your mind is even worse. i've broken off relationships, cheated, threatened people, gotten into fights, brawls, got my arm broken, hurt myself repeatedly, gotten arrested and a criminal record that may prevent me from going to canada next year, and is currently delaying booking flights, ive missed work, shown up drunk same clothes no shower to work, but the main thing that alcohol does to me is makes me sad. alcohol makes me so fucking sad, it makes me reach into the deepest pits i can think of and brings out all the emotions that are in there, my ex being the main one. every time i used to drink id think of her, call her, text her, go on her facebook, look up her instagram her twitter, fuck it drive my car to her house to see if her cars there like that does anything or means anything just fucking alcohol is so stupid. i never want to feel like that again, i never want to sabotage my life, sabotage and self destruct my relationships, but i guess losing my friends is the thing i have to take in consideration. australia is a fucked up place, where drinking heavily is the social norm and if you don't get fucked up or even have a beer with mates you're a loser.

i just want a deep connection with my friends. when i was in newcastle with my partner, i  met her friends there that she had been living with, despite the fucked up things that happened to her there, she lost a lot of friends herself and a long time friend, had trouble finding new ones, trouble fitting in, the friends she had there were the most honest and truly welcoming, connecting people ive met, and i miss that. i miss having a friend you can just, go over to their place, sit around for 3-4 hours talking shit, laughing, listening to music, relaxing and sharing stories and shit. weird that people can have such an effect on you in a short time. the life i live here is full of making plans, only for them to be cancelled, inviting friends over, for nobody to show up, cancelled plans all the fucking time, i've never been asked to just come over and chill, never its always some group thing that i'm invited to as well. i even try talking to them about this, i told a group of girl friends i have, i miss you all and haven't seen you in so long, we need to have a casual hangout, and the message was almost completely ignored, i asked them all to come to mind to watch the grand final, the house was free, i got a big projector screen, big comfy couch, live central right in the middle of everyone, nobody even replied or brought it up again, yet the second someone else that lives in the far corners of perth brought it up everyone started chatting about their plan to go. so if that's not my friends making it obvious they don't want to see me, they only include me then thats fucked up. i don't know what to say, this happens all the time, my 21st birthday i invited 65 people, and less than 15 people showed up. its hard to keep trying, always trying, i always try to make social events, i always ask friends what they are doing, when they can see me, make plans, they get cancelled, they are busy, they say they're coming then don't show up, most of the time i never hear a word too, they just dont show and don't even apologize, is that a fair thing to do, yeah sometimes i dont go to my friends events, i'm too fucking tired or just don't feel like going, somethings come up, i tell them straight away i cant make it i'm sorry this has come up, yet i don't get the same courtesy.

am i an unlikable person

the guys at work seem to like me, so i started a baking apprenticeship, basically i started watching great british bake off and picked it up as a hobby, making cakes and stuff, actually i should go back. so i used to work in some shitty small software company in the city, 9-5, peak hour traffic, office drama, workplace bullies, understaffed, overworked, red tape and bullshit everywhere, i quit after 2.5 years for mental health reasons, i made a lot of money but had to move on, so i spent a year off , it was only supposed to be a few months, go on a holiday road trip with my then partner, S, she broke up with me via a text message right after eagles lost to melbourne at home, basically the footy game was more disappointing, we had a shit relationship, i think i resented her, i cheated on her, yeah i'm an awful person and deserve everything, she was an emotionally manipulative person, terrified of her own body and sex, tried to dominate my life and change me, im glad we broke up. so i stayed unemployed for a long time, over a year, barely looking, until i found this baking apprenticeship, not only did i apply for the job and write a completely custom cover letter (im so fucking lazy i usually close a job application the second it requires anything more than an apply button) AND i called back a few weeks later when i heard nothing, well turns out that call landed me the job, the apprentice they hired instead of me was useless, had no passion and was a slow worker. so i got the job, and basically have been killing it ever since, i get a lot of praise at work (lots of criticism too) baking is one of those things that takes time, its all about time, so i got a lot to learn but i am actually confident once in my life, holy shit i have a job i like and am good at. is this the dream?> lol 

so today i started writing my feelings down, and its kinda felt good, but i'm exhausted now, and my fingers hurt, so this is the end of my first post, i hope nobody reads it, its really just for me but i don't know. 

thanks for listening   i guess 

[lokbobpop]

Embarrassment

1a : something that embarrasses the scandal was a major embarrassment. b : an excessive quantity from which to select —used especially in the phrase embarrassment of riches. 2 : the state of being embarrassed: such as. a : confusion or disturbance of mind couldn't hide her embarrassment.

The English word embarrassed is indirectly derived from the Spanish word. The first recorded usage of embarrass in English was in 1664 by Samuel Pepys in his diary. The word was derived from the French word embarrasser, "to block" or "to obstruct", or figuratively, "to put one in a difficult situation".

Embarrassment embar rass ment emb arrass men t embar ras sment em barr ass ment

Writing the word embarrassment

Well I couldn’t spell that without looking for sure so long not so complicated but i want to put br instead of ba comes up and i wouldnt know how many rr or ss but i do now its a long word so would need them from the picture of it in my mind.

Reading the word embarrassment

Well if i was to recall all the times i was embarrassment id be here all day but luckily I can’t remember all the times i was so thats goos i can walk them on my life review and see then what i did wrong and work it out with myself.

Going back first ones would be at school and not being like all others who could read or write i was very embarrassed about that I couldn’t do it and wanted to hide thsi fact as i got older i use to copy what others put in there writing they use to cover up there work so I couldn’t see it they didnt like me ot copy what they put its understanding that they would do this im sure i would have done if i had as well being copied but i did it i had no confidence what so every after not going it write all you can do is copy its not being explained to you very well and i embrace that little girl who didnt know what to do but copy other i feel for her her not knowing what’s to do and that she created wall disappointments within herself she didn’t know what else to do she was lost with no help and then when she grow up didn’t realize she was still carrying these beliefs and thoughts to protect her its ok you did I you best but now its time to change let all that i built go be me love me exactly who I am because i do matter to me i do care about me an dhow i love every day from now on.

I walked into i a glass wall looking for a toilet in a club once lol thought i was walking into someone one but it was me how embarrassing lol

Ive thought my not knowing how to read and write was embarrassment i thought people would just think im stupid and judge me

Thoughts of when the girls have embarrassment me like when they have shouted got angry in front of people i have felt like a bad mother and felt judge by others for having such angry kids because they would only have got that from me nowhere else so i used to be every embarrassment even now if Trin was to say something that isnt nice throw anger which i have seen as immaturity i will feel sick inside and think what are they thinking about me and my parenting to have a kid like this it happened once i wasn’t there and trin must of done something and the people there where explaining to me what she had done and i was so embarrassed they did mean to tell me it just came out i felt awful and i have brought it up within me many times to self shame me

I dont like being embarrassed heating up going red people looking at you it feels horrible it really does its like you want to die for it all to go away but you need to own it you need to stand within self at these time to see what happens hey stand up yes as i havent before

Saying embarrassment

Thoughts of the girls doing something thats an embarrassment and chris saying something ive done or the girls or himself which was an embarrassment i see that he feel so much more or easily embarrassed than me he worry’s what people think he has less self confidence in some way than i do.

Thoughts of my cheeks going red

Thoughts of people have found out i cant read and im not that intelligent as them and i not feel less than and i want to me more and looking within me to find something intelligent to say so i can been see as there equal without seeing realizing and understanding that i have always been there equal.

When chris being fat introduced to friends i feel shame about this but i see whats worse how he must feel introducing me to his friend how he must feel awful as i see my self as old fat and ugly far worse than myself so how i get the glue to think this i dont know to totally wrong and backward

Being seen hanging out with what ive classed as people beneath me yes i have snobbery with who im with and that they might be embracing to be seen with by people i want to be friends with but feel they will judge me with I see i dont have confidence in my self and i should be cool with anyone at all times as we are all equal at all times.

I feel im an embarrassment to myself i feel i could be and do better than i have and that i should be embarrassed about who i am what i have because i have nothing i have nothing to show for this life as in a career money i could of dont so must but believed i could do it.

I feel embarrassed ever time i meet someone new i see like when they look at me i try to think about what they are thinking about me old fat ugly have no conversations not intelligent common an accent that is common carrot cruncher and so on i only see the bad side of me when i meet someone new fat is first i see i need to do something about this either lose the weight or or love my weight x

Sf

Does this definition support me no so much going on here within me about myself and how others might see me as i am or through my children and even husband.

Embarrassment embrace me all

Embarrassment

To see realize and understand what i am allowing within me when i feel embarrassed about myself my family children husband etc who am i

Use that energy to give me confidence push though to see me the real me

I will live this word with embracing all aspects about myself and another until this word can be refined better for me but as for not if i feel i need to look at it see me where im going wrong what am i doing to myself.

[pigstepmp3-moved]

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better. 

tagged by @yawnralphio​ thank u for tagging me, kisses ur cheek <3

1. name/nickname: fundy, eden, dream, and wilbur! only nickname rn is wilby, but feel free to gimme nicknames :)

2. gender: none gender, left boy. diet boy

3. star sign: scorpio

4. height: 5′3″

5. time: 8:39pm as im typing this

6. birthday: november 2nd

7. favorite bands: ten foot pole, nofx, the dead milkmen, the front bottoms, ajj, simple plan, mom jeans, wallows, the regrettes, etc etc, theres probably more im forgetting

8. favorite solo artists: wilbur soot, sabrina carpenter, again, probably more im forgetting. i suppose i listen to more bands than i do solo artists

9. song stuck in my head: losing face by wilbur soot <333 specifically the  “is he better than me? / has he seen more to this life? / can he smoke more? / can he fuck more?” lines

10. last movie: i cannot for the life of me remember. i think probably the og grinch movie about a month ago?

11. last show: i think 911? im not sure, its been a long time since ive watched tv jdhfajkfh

12. when did i create this blog: i made this particular blog in december of 2018, but i joined tumblr originally in july of 2014 (my first blog is still Out There but i refuse to share it ajfhadskjfh)

13. what do i post: ive been mainly mcyt centric lately as thats my current hyperfixation, but i do post aesthetic posts and shitposts and stuff from my other interests when they pop onto my dash :)

14. last thing googled: eye emoji

15. other blogs: i run @incorrect911quotes​ and @buddieweek​ in the sense that i Own the blogs, though i havent had the energy to actually Actively run them in. a long ass time (mutuals feel free to hmu if youd like to be added as a co owner to either of those blogs so that u may take over for me until i get the energy to work on them again). i also have a handful of saved urls as sideblogs too!

16. do i get asks: every once in a while! i usually get maybe like. one or two per ask game i reblog, and every once in a while ill get random asks from friends and anons alike

17. why i chose my url: i like ghostbur a lot :) n “ghostbur” was taken so i added an s to it!

18. following: 194! i dont like having a super poppin dash, it gets stressful for me at times

19. followers: as of right now, i have 1016 :) 

20. average hours of sleep: around 6 to 7 on a good night

21. lucky number: 2!!

22. instruments: i used to know how to play guitar, but its been like. almost a decade since ive gotten my hands on a guitar, so id have to relearn from scratch. i play a mean recorder thanks to my third grade class tho. and i have a kazoo that i like playin!

23. what am i wearing: my big pink georgenotfound hoodie, pink sweatpants, n slightly mismatched socks (neither of them are pink tho :pensive:)

24. dream job: i know its very cliche but i would really like to make youtube an actual job someday. id also like to be able to data entry :)

25. dream trip: if i had to pick, probably holland. and new york!

26. favorite food: pasta!

27. nationality: im technically american, but i prefer to just say that im canadian (my dad is From canada And im moving in with him in canada after high school)

28. favorite song: my current number one fav is im sorry boris by wilbur soot <3333 obsessed with it

29. last book read: uh. um. i dont know. ill tentatively say all the bright places by jennifer niven bc thats the last one i remember reading

30. top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: mmmm. dsmp would be pretty fun! bein in homestuck could be pretty cool too. ummm. thats it, i cant think of anywhere else :) (id say the borderlands universe but id die so much)

tagging: nobody :) fuck da rules :) feel free to steal this and say i tagged you tho :)

[evenaworm-moved]

literally a summary of my entire campaign (or all i can be bothered to write right now)

@ghostofghostspast so you wanted to hear about my campaign

warning for a bunch of rambling, plot holes, and in general a big unstructured mess as this story is still very early in development and i havent quite figured out how everything goes together yet (and multiple people dont even have names) s o

also theres like. a lot there. i typed a lot. its basically the entire plot of the whole campaign which is: a lot. like i keep going back to update this part as i get further in writing it and im at 2k words right now- yeah okay back here after finishing (for today) and we got 3k+ words down here.

also, warning for gory and gruesome stuffs!

here we go!

the story and first arc, in a very original decision, starts out in a bar with the party members. the bar has a stage with a microphone at one side, and after a little while, a halfling women wearing a long black dress and an intricate heart locket steps up. also, killer heels. 

rather than singing, she pulls out a violin and begins to play. its.. gorgeous music, shes incredibly talented, and with every string her bow crosses over it just feels like you're getting pulled into a universe this song is creating. its almost... enchanting.

surprise you fuckers shes a bard and shes casting (a modified for plot purposes and kind of op version of) sleep. the players will get to make a constitution saving throw, to see if they get to stay awake or not. regardless of what happens to them, the entire rest of the bar falls asleep.

if they manage to stay awake, they can interact with her- enter initiative or talk or whatever, i dont know who these players will be and they could very well do something bizarre and unexpected. she’s going to attempt to rob the bar while the people sleep- if all three members of the party fail their saving throws then they’ll just sleep and awake to find the entire bar groggily rising and most of the money in the room  gone, along with the mysterious violinist.

throughout all of this the woman hadn’t said a word. if they stay awake and say catch her, and get into some sort of conversation, she will talk- but only telepathically.

no matter what happens, she will escape before the rest of the bar wakes up (unless the party pulls some really wild shit). depending on what happens the party may even end up leaving with her- if they don’t, the bar owner will ask them to track her down, as she just stole basically all the valuables in this bar she could get her hands on in the few minutes everyone was asleep.

one way or another they’ll find her- playing violin at a sort of.. community of thieves, having a get together. like a big potluck almost with a bunch of theives from different guilds and groups hanging out. getting there will involve fun side quests and fights, with more or less two slightly different routes: they’ll either be travelling alongside the bard (who’s name is Lealynn, for the record), or travelling alone, attempting to track her down to take her back to the bar and probably get paid.

once they’re at the gathering, they’ll meet a few different npcs- zaaki, a young dwarf boy looking for his dads. plural- there are seven of them and none of them are actually his dad he was just kind of adopted by all of them at once when he joined their guild of sorts at a very young age. or, more he was just taken in, as they all found him abandoned when he was like, 2. with some weird mishaps, they discovered zaaki to be a very powerful sorcerer that just needed some training. however, after several years bad things(tm) happened and zaaki has found himself seperated from all of them. zaaki and lealynn are the only ones here that have prominent roles, but they can talk to/possibly fight depending on what happens other minor people.

preferably they will not just attempt to fight everyone but also they might. if they have gotten here with lealynn, there most likely wont be any fighting at all, unless they just fuck shit up. lealynn will introduce them to the people around, and then probably leave them with zaaki to go play her violin for the rest of the people gathered here (normal music this time, no more disguised spells). if they came here on their own, lealynn will already be playing and they’ll have to figure out how to get in by theirselves. stuff’ll happen! i really cant tell what these currently nonexistent players will end up doing, but i will be making sure they dont fuckin kill off zaaki and lealynn, because we need those two for the plot gosh darn it. another possible way of them meeting zaaki would be, once they’re in, him just going up to them with a poster with seven dudes on it and going “hello have you seen my dads?”

eventually things will happen (wow!) and they'll discover that lealynn doesnt usually steal, as shes actually a very successful violinist and typically makes plenty enough money to keep herself living fine. however, one day she had met zaaki (whos like 8 at present time) and discovered his situation. his current next step in trying to find his dads was to go to a very popular arena, a place some of his dads used to like and go see fights at. the issue was zaaki only knows simple pit pocketing, and tickets are very expensive. lealynn agreed to help him get the money he needs so the two of them could go search for his dads there. lealynn explains all of this to the party members, with zaaki helping at some parts. Lea then asks if they’d be willing to help- they could definitely use the assistance in finding this poor boys dads, and she now does have enough money to get all of them in.

if my players dont say yes then well there goes the plot I GUESS. but with this the first arc ends. yay.

on to arc two! if youre still reading this then holy fucking shit you just read like 1k words of me messily explaining the start of the story and basically everything else is going to be the same sort of mess except possibly even messier

the party (now with lea and zaaki included) goes on more fun adventuring to get to the arena, which is in a somewhat discreet location as it might be slightly illegal? getting there is a little tough, but also on the way they’ll have some cool puzzles and battles as they check a few different places for zaaki’s dads. once they do get there they're actually sold out :^) also, amidst the time it takes to get there, they may get to find out some of lea’s story- if not, it will come up at other times, but to explain it in a simplified way: 4 or 5 years ago (shes currently 21) she had a girlfriend that she dated for like, 2 years. but stuff just stopped working out, as they do, and eventually she broke up with this girl. this totally wrecked the girl emotionally wise, and she threw quite a.. fit. she was a very powerful witch: and, placing a curse on the locket that she had previously given to lea as a gift, she took away lea’s ability to speak. Lea actually used to be a rather successful singer before this incident, and her salty ex was hoping to ruin her career by stealing her voice. it.. backfired on her, as lea adapted and became even more successful as an instrumental violinist. however, she still has no voice. the curse placed on her appears to reside inside the locket, but as much as shes tried, she cant remove the necklace or destroy it. after the fiasco that the breakup was, her now ex girlfriend vanished, and she hasn’t seen her since. lea still wants her voice back, and has spent her free time attempting to track down this ex of hers.

back to the present situation of sold out tickets:

there are several solutions to this puzzle! there are various ways for them to sneak in, or a mini quest where they can buy tickets from a secondhand source, or whatever creative stuff the party comes up with. eventually, they'll end up in the arena!

this arena is a place where gladiators fight each other to the death.  its obviously brutal and not for the faint of heart (zaaki’s poor little baby heart does not take well to this show). fighting tonight is a weirdly young elf girl, who’s only 12 years old. but she’s a fucking champion, and the crowd loves her. apparently she’s been fighting two or three years, as the party may be able to figure out by asking around (the party will also be asking around to see if they can find any clues on the location of zaaki’s parents, which may or may not be succesful depending on who they ask). this kid is named Flip, (im sorry i cant take any of my own characters seriously,) and currently she has a +6 in dex but this is just her at level 1 and she’s gonna be a few more levels up. shes extremely talented at what she does, her entire aesthetic is flowers but also: violently killing people with her big ol’ daisy covered mace. she does wild acrobatics and makes a bunch of one liner puns, all related to flowers. 

after a little bit while the show finishes, with flip beating two different opponents this night, and claiming a prize as usual. i plan on throwing in a spot in here where the players can actually choose to interrupt the fight, if say, their characters find this little girl fighting big, buff grizzly dudes too immoral. they can get theirselves wrapped up in a fight in the arena if they do this- but they can also just sit back and watch and flip will win because shes more than capable of it, the players just may not know this. it’ll definitely be fun to see what happens!

if they interrupt the fight there will probably be a few annoyed members of security, as well as an annoyed Flip. ur actions have consequences! i cant say for certain what all will happen here, but my intention is for them to be able to have a one on one conversation with flip later on in the evening (if they dont end up talking to her in whatever bizarre path they make, they can meet her at an autograph session after the show). they can talk to flip about whatever they want, maybe ask if she knows anything about the whereabouts for zaaki’s parents, or figure out why she’s 12 and a gladiator.

one thing they’ll also discover once getting near her is a necklace she’s wearing, that appears to be half of a metal flower. on a successful investigation roll,  there are more details they can discover: the flat side of the flower half has little notches in it, as though it has a matching half on another necklace that would fit into place with it. the words “little sis” are very carefully etched into the metal.

after talking for a bit, something... weird, happens.

Flip’s necklace begins to float, and suddenly the lightbulbs shatter and candles go out- its pitch black, and all you can see is this necklace floating in the air as it begins to glow. a disembodied, somewhat distorted, young womans voice rings out:

“Whats up motherfuckers.”

 the lights suddenly turn back on, the necklace goes back to normal, and the party will find Flip on her knees, gasping for air. a fresh cut is across her nose, one that will most likely leave a scar. security comes in, hearing the ruckus, but flip ushers them to leave. its safe to assume my players are going to be like “hey what the fuck just happened”

flip is going to explain, but only somewhat. she’ll talk about how, recently, she’s had issues with a sort of “haunting” as she describes it. she says that truthfully, she’s killed so many people, it could easily be any one of them, and that she has no idea which one it was or how to stop them.  This is a lie; Flip has a very good idea of who it might be, but she doesn’t plan on admitting it any time soon (or maybe she will idk what shit my players will get up to in these conversations)

(god ive been typing for like three hours i may have to go to bed before i can finish. whoevers still reading high five)

Lea will bring up that it seems she might need help; Flip will initially turn this down, and i cant really say where the conversation will sprout from there due to the fact it depends on my nonexistent players. the end goal will be for Flip to agree to group up with the rest of them; they all have something they’re looking for, and maybe if they all help each other eventually they’ll all fix their problems together. Flip should agree to meet back up with them tomorrow morning, and the rest of the party will go to an inn and sleep.

the next morning is probably where i insert a chance for the players to level up and go shopping for some items. its also the part where i give up at separating this story into arcs! i’ll figure that shit out Later

fuckin umm.. its late so my storytelling will probably begin gradually devolving. 

the next day our heroes will meet back up and discuss. Flip mentions that they may have most luck figuring things out with her haunting if they go to the arenas base of operations. the arena is somewhat part of a chain, all run by one person. he doesnt have a name yet but i’ve been calling him “mr. bitch business boy”. for now i’ll just call him mr. b. the party will travel to this place. However, Zaaki stays behind; he’s a little boy and doesn’t want to get super involved with all of this killing stuff! The other NPCs (and hopefully the players) agree to keep an eye out for information on his dads. its a large, sleek collection of buildings surrounded by a high tech gate and a bunch of people guarding it. 

for something kind of illegal, they’ve got a lot of big stuff going on.

there are three main areas they can check out: one, on the left, the smallest building. it has no windows and only two heavy metal doors. in the middle, you have the largest building,several stories, which does have some windows and looks kind of like.. a combination between a big fancy hotel and a business building, but also super like ~modern~ and stuff. it has a fountain in front. And lastly, on the right, is the second biggest building out of the three, but still considerably smaller than the middle one. while it is large, its still only one story. Flip can inform the party that the middle one is where the boss, mr. b, resides.

its the players choices where they check out first. but first, before any of that is seen actually, they have to get past security at the gate- this can either be done via initiative or via something else, up to them!

in the building on the right, they find a long, wide hall filled with seats and benches, and.. people. a lot of people, some holding papers, others holding weapons, and all looking like they’re both ready for a fight and a job interview. at the end of the hallway is another room, with a door and a big glass window  looking out at the rest of the hall. every once in awhile, a dragonborn man at the desk will call out “next” and someone will rise from the seats. Flip seems confused by this area, and Lea just seems weirded out by the entire business in general.

upon entrance, a few people will gasp at seeing Flip, and she’ll wave a bit to them. But one half-orc woman (un-named currently but also i love her) will run right up, going “oh my gosh, you’re flip, right?! i love all of your performances!” and the party will engage in a conversation with her. assuming that people ask questions, they can get a few answers. She’ll explain that this is where people apply to become a fighter for the arena, and it’s always been a dream of hers (what a weird dream man) to become a fighter in this organization. Flip is a little confused, as she didn’t go through any of this when she joined; but the half-orc says that sometimes there are definitely special cases where people are just found. if anyone mentions zaaki’s dads, she actually will know some things about them. she’ll explain that she was good friends with them, and when zaaki was really little and the dads were just getting the hang of raising a kid, she would sometimes babysit. however, she then gets a little sad, mentioning that she actually hasnt heard anything from them in a year. she doesn’t know where they are, but they’re probably not here. eventually she gets called up to go talk to the dragonborn behind the desk, and she bids you all farewell cheerfully and goes off for a.. sort of job interview, i guess.

there are a few other things people can check out here, but nothing i’ll bother mentioning here.

if they try to go to the tiniest room on the left, they’ll have to fight more security (no talking your way out of this one). inside they find a small hallway, some closets, and an elevator at the end that they just cant gosh hecking get open! meaning its puzzle time but i havent come up with a puzzle yet but THERS A PUZZLE and they solve it cool. once inside the elevator, they just see rows upon rows of buttons, starting at ground level (1) and then going down, down, down.

at any level they choose, they will just find large collections of rotting corpses, getting newer the deeper down they go. this horrifies flip, and if the players choose to view multiple floors, flip will stay in the small hall outside. Lea remains with the players, but extremely solemn. there are two special floors in this collection. there are 31 floors. at the 31st floor, they will find the most recent dumped bodies; and one of them is actually still just a little alive (but in a horrible, horrible state). It’s a tiefling man, and with a hoarse voice he will usher the players over. he does not ask for help, merely asks them to not forget about him. he tells them his name and his story in hopes that someone won’t forget he existed. if it occurs to the players, they can actually heal and help him escape this terrible mass graveyard. this will result in an advantage for them later on, and also just make them like fucking feel better about themselves y’know.

the other thing that they can find is on an undecided as of now floor, but will probably be a random number, as to make it less likely for them to end up at it. because what they will find is, well a bunch more dead bodies, but with a successful perception check they will notice one young woman's corpse that is wearing a necklace. this necklace has half a flower on it- and matches Flips. most of it is a bit rusted and dirty, making it hard to read, but you can more or less make out “Big sis” etched out into the metal. its the players choice whether they bring this up to flip once back outside with her.

Once grouped back up, Flip suggests they go and talk to Mr. B (if they havent gone in that building already). for once, security lets them in the building. inside is a rather extravagant sort of lobby, with two staircases on either side, and a semi-circle desk in the area between them. a dark elf woman with glasses sits their, seeming to be checking off things in a book. the players can go approach the woman, and ask to see mr. b

and i am not at all done (still have like, half a story and half the main npcs to introduce) but this is over 3k words and it is 12 am so i will stop for now, and continue in a new post tomorrow! 

if anybody has name suggestions for the bar owner at the beginning, the half orc lady, or the dark elf-- just lemme know i have so many npcs to name and not enough creativity. also, if you read all of this, just.. holy shit. gimme ur thoughts! 

also i am open for suggestions to name the campaign

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE FOUR

“ ‘something will be unleashed’ are u gonna start KILLING PEOPLE??” - saira

HOH: Nick UPSIDE DOWN: Emma & Kiki NOMINEES: Monty & Saira POV: Jev FINAL NOMINEES: Monty & Saira EVICTED: Saira (1-0)

JOSH C

well, we just voted out GINA and i'm feeling some kind of way about it. i feel like the push to save emma was VERY quick and i think there are a lot of alliances going on that i'm not involved in which is FINE but it's just something i need to watch out for. i know i talk with almost everyone constantly so i think i'll be okay for this week, but i'm just worried about the people that i enjoy.

a lot of people have said they don't talk to saira or brianna so i wouldn't be shocked to see them both go up, which is FINE i guess but i enjoy both. i don't want saira to leave at all but i don't think she has as GOOD of a social standing as brianna does. which is worrisome because i know this is her first game so she doesn't have any pre-existing relationships to save her which is.. not ideal.

i'm finding things a BIT frustrating because i have to navigate not ONLY game thoughts but people's pre-game relationships. not that i'm knocking anyone for them but almost everyone i've talked to says they don't talk to monty but they wouldn't want to see him nominated. i just don't FULLY understand why we can't nominate him but they're friends with him so he's a bit UNTOUCHABLE. i might push it anyways because he's the only person i don't really talk to anymore. WHO KNOWS.

i've felt like a deflated balloon for most of today so maybe i'll just go with the flow on this but i need to make sure i'm not just voting out all the people who will be votes for me later on. 

ARIA

Im small, bitter, and very angry...but spite is the best motivator and im going to use it to win this season. Anyways i miss saira im SICK of trusting nicks, i see a nick i FLOOR IT!!! I refuse to have a nick fuck me over in a game again i am so over it. But hehe anyways lets get into the info spilling section real fast and then i can analyze because my position has drastically changed from last time-

also sorry for repeated info but sometimes i forget things or people say it again so..

-nathan leaked "all" his alliances to me (Screensht is cut weird i think theres one he cut off)

-Jacob found out my gina connection

-perfect voting record is dead (told jacob i voted out gina tho idk why hehe)

-kiki-joey connection 

-emma knows about bri's backups because jake leaked it to her before he left

-josh c IS EVERYWHERE

-nick says they havent talked to bri

-nick likes jev

-nick wants (more so wants others) to take a shot at kiki/nash

-nick said nathan is a wildcard 

-joshua nommed monty and nash

-STOP UNDERESTIMATING JOSHUA

-told josha jacob is protecting him

-joey exposed saira's deal to me and bri

-joey wants a larger alliance

-bri said they like nick,,,but that conflicts earlier info so im thinking peer pressure or just bri is too sweet for this cast and i adore her-

-bri told nathan her noms

-nathan hates bri and for wHAT??

-jacob has a dpov and used it to cement a f2,, AND DID THE SAME THING WITH BRI FFS 

-jacob scared of nick and jev

-kiki and nash tell everything to jacob

-jacob said emma and joey have a connection??

-jacob thinks nick is gonna join the emma jev joey side (his words)

-jacob thinks monty is a threat

-jacob ranked the players in tiers as follows: 

A kiki jev bri

B joey joshua nathan

d: nash saira monty

-bri talks a lot with kiki and josh c

-told bri about the trio between jacob kiki and nash

-joey told me yesterday he wants to win,,,but then just said to take him out

-planting seeds against joey to bri

-jacob wants to bring dpov up with alliance at f10

-joshua and jacob were shook saira was evicted

-told jacob that joey asked to throw

-jev and jacob are getting closish

-jacob is so threaten by nick

-jacob told bri that nathan doesnt like her

-

and thats where im at currently. Lots of options and lots of interconnections I have to navigate but i think im gonna be fine for the time being which makes it super easy to just be complacent and float my way to jury BUT!!! I want to try setting myself up well where i dont get clocked at f9/10 and wabam im out. Im trying to set people against each other subtly but honestly i think im overestimating myself here but at least i know im safe. I mean for now im trying to set up this side of jev emma joshua to at least form together as a group but im STRUGGLING i might just have to settle for them keeping each other safe without a solid alliance ig. At the same time I think i really have two actives pieces of info im working with which is emma knowing about bri's backups and then me and bri knowing about jacob's dpov.

So i think what I want to happen is that Jacob wants to dpov nick out at f10 so i'll let that happen probably which puts a huge target on jacobs back, idk if its anon but if it is ill make sure bri leaks it kinda framing it in a "if you leak it and i pretend to not know i can analyze how other people respond so we'll know what everyone thinks" and once jacob leaves emma can leak the bri's angels (which should be weaker at this point since jacob is the glue that holds it together a bit) which #1 makes a bunch of good players house targets and then forces those people to solidly stick together as well. Not sure how im gonna play both sides but,,,,if i can play it off kinda like i did in pasio somehow maybe i'll be fine but who knows. Either way im here to have fun (and hopefully win for gina/saira)

WELL WELL!!! just did a vc with jacob, he decided to take matters into his own hands and be totally cracked and now thinks nick/monty/nathan are a side,,,,which,,,,idk yall nathan did show me all of his alliances and none of them were that but who am i to stop jacob from making himself a target by leading this charge against them uwu. I do need to be more proactive about leaking tho but im not sure how im gonna work that. Also im not sure if i want nick/monty/nathan all gone, i can live with monty gone bc they probably think i nommed them and might want revenge but also nick and nathan are kinda cute numbers for me,,, 

I mean idk because at this point i have a game relationship with mostly everyone left in this game and im just not sure which path i need to take to get to the end yet and its kindaaa stressing me out a little bit. I can feel myself starting to drop in peoples trust rankings a little bit and god its kinda annoying how jacob has this game wrapped around his finger, however i dont need to be in a dominant position this entire game i believe in myself!! I got this easy peasy!!! 

JEV

My reverse psychology paid off and I won the veto so I'm loving that for me, I'm not going to be using it because I'd preferably like to see Monty leave because I just... never see them and I think Saira is much more deserving of her place here than Monty is. It's frustrating that Monty is cruising through this game so easily because we haven't spoken to eachother since day one, and they haven't even bothered to come and speak to me to campaign for me to use the veto. Like, do you want to be here or not?

Thinking about it more, I'm super happy I won the power of veto. I managed to ensure myself and those I'm closest to in this game weren't going to be named as renom and kept Monty up there as a final nom, which I'm worried otherwise wouldn't happen during this game since people seem either threatened by Monty OR a little over-eager to keep him around in this game, which annoys me but whatever. I just hope whoever wins HOH has the balls to make the right decision, better to get him gone now rather than later.

JEV

So I think I've had a little bit of a brainwave/breakthrough. This is gonna be longwinded so hear me out.

Apparently from what I've heard, the nominations this week were revealed in order of who recieved the least to the most nominations from every

one. This is extremely interesting to me, as I've taken note that Nick, Aria, Jacob & Brianna were 10th-8th in the rankings of votes respectively.

First of all, I haven't made secret that I think something is going on with the Pasio alumni. This was highlighted when I was asking around for what people were doing for nominees, and from everyone I heard Saira/Monty, but from two people I heard Saira, Nash, Joey & Monty -- with Monty strategically placed last in the ranking, to give the illusion his name was the least uttered. Funnily enough, the two people I heard this format of the names were Nick and Aria who just happen to be Pasio alumni... interesting, right?

So looking at the ranking, I'm thinking "okay so they obviously didn't do eachother, and with Nash/Joey in 3rd and 4th respectively, they must've not expected so many votes on Monty and didn't plan accordingly, and so split the votes too much and didn't have enough to put up Nash or Joey over Monty. So I'm thinking, I know there's a connection between Jacob and Monty because I used to play orgs with them on Skype. Jacob used the veto on Brianna last week, this has brought me to the conclusion that Monty, Nick, Brianna, Jacob & Aria are working together with the possibility that Josh C is either playing both sides or is fully with them too, hence why he recieved the least votes.

That places Myself, Emma, Kiki, Nash, Joshua, Joey & Saira on the outside, and Nathan too as I'm guessing he's strayed from their alliance and/or wishing to work with them, hence why he recieved 5th most votes. 

I'd love to make an alliance with this group of people, but it's still only pre-jury and I don't want to be seen as playing too hard too soon.

(cont.) So I initially wasn't going to go for this HOH, but I feel like I need to because I can't trust anybody else to make the move to take Monty out, and I'd rather see their numbers thinned sooner rather than later. It would paint me as their #1 target for next week probably, but if someone I trusted won HOH next week then I could go to the upside down and not have to worry about it.

JEV

Yes again I'm so sorry, another thing that was interesting to me was that I mentioned to Aria that I was close with Emma, and she asked for an alliance with the 3 of us almost immediately after, stating that she was also "very interested" in working with Emma too. This tells me she's the mole and wanted the alliance to try and get intel from us, I don't believe for a second she did Saira/Monty along with me and Emma at all, which is why myself and Emma are hesitant to say too much in that alliance chat. So I like Aria, but I don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL__dyRaq2E&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=5&t=0s