#i still have a prompt open in my messages but i'm stuck 😫

[niemernuet]

Podcasts and Other Favours

@wunderlichkind pointed me in the direction of Loïc's podcast. I knew it existed but I've just never listened to it bc I'm just not that podcast-y. I like reading better; I can choose my own tempo, and skip or re-read stuff the way I want. Tbh Loïc's podcast did nothing to change my opinion about that format but there are some funny things to learn about him and the rest of the gs-team. The funniest moment though comes thanks to Tanguy, who manages to drag the entire dh-team with one sentence, and I just had to write a little one-shot about it.

It was rare that so many of them ended up in the same place at the same time but the pandemic had locked them all inside Switzerland, and thus they all had to share the few slopes on the glaciers that allowed for training during the off-season. Corinne had to admit that it was not bad, overall. Sure, the slopes were mostly too short to really practice downhill but then again most of the rest of her competitors could not practice on snow at all. So. Also, it was fun to hang with the other teams. Or, at least it used to be. Corinne's anticipation of the coming week wavered though when she returned to Zermatt on Monday, and found the slalom team bent over their phones, earbuds plugged in, with varying expressions of suffering and pain. All of them but Mélanie.

"Good, you're here," she said, and waved to Corinne and the rest of the downhill-team, "I need your phones."

Lara of course immediately started sputtering with indignation. "Beg your pardon?"

Swiss Ski had denied her private team a separate slope to practice, and she had not been beating around the bush with her opinion about having to share the snow with the rubes. Normally, Corinne would have welcomed any occasion to annoy her further but Michelle, Wendy, and the others seemed to be in serious distress, so that had to wait.

"What is going on?" she asked, and plopped down onto the bench next to Andrea. The sun was shining onto the terrace of the hotel, a soft wind was cooling down the heat, and they would not have any physical training today. There was no reason for them to look like that.

"Meli needs a favour from us," Michelle explained from a deck chair, and her tone revealed that it would cost Mélanie many coffees and chocolate bars to make up for that favour.

Corinne, Priska, Joana and Jasmina looked at Melanie expectantly. Lara was still glaring at her.

Mélanie sighed, and visibly braced herself. "Loïc has a new project."

The impact was as expected.

"Oh God!" Priska groaned.

"Again?" Joana shrieked. "Where does he find the time?"

"Is it another Instagram-account?" Jasmina asked. "I'll follow it but I can't guarantee that I will like every post. Sometimes I don't see them, and I can't go looking for them every damn time. Also if I like too many posts it messes up the algorithm and I start to get these weird suggestions."

"If it's on Instagram I can't help you," Lara declared smugly. "Or any social media, for that matter."

"It's not on Instagram," Melanie snapped before catching herself. "Well, it is, but the Instagram-account is not the main thing…"

Corinne leant over Andrea's shoulder and peeked at her phone. She was just as excited as the rest of them but she would do anything for Mélanie. Nobody could refuse her sweet personality.

She frowned when she read the text on the small screen. "A podcast?!"

Okay, maybe she would be able to refuse Mélanie after all.

Mélanie gave them a sheepish smile. She picked up her phone, and typed something. A few seconds later, Corinne felt her phone vibrate.

"It's called 'Behind an Alpine Skier', and he's interviewing, well, Alpine skiers," Mélanie explained.

"Ground-breaking," Lara muttered, though she dug through her bag, and opened her phone.

Mélanie ignored her. "He's been a bit disappointed about the feedback, so my parents and I have been playing the episodes on our phones for the past few days. But apparently he can see that the hits are always coming from the same devices, and he's starting to get suspicious. That's where you come in. Could you please play the episodes on your phone? You don't even have to listen to them, I just need the hits."

Joana snorted. "Yeah, right! And next thing I know I'm being interrogated about my favourite parts, like the time I left a comment on his photography-blog." Mélanie's smile turned even more sheepish.

"I like to listen to podcasts from time to time," Corinne admitted. She had caught herself, and was ready to take the plunge for Meli. "I'm looking forward to listening to it."

Wendy's cackling did not bode well. "Don't get ahead of yourself. You don't know everything."

Before Corinne could ask, Michelle helpfully informed them: "It's in English."

Corinne winced.

"And his first guest is Odi," Wendy added.

"Dear Lord," Priska whispered, and Corinne agreed.

"Are you sure it's a genuine project?" Lara asked. "Sounds to me like he's trolling."

"He is not!" Mélanie hissed, and Lara raised her hands in defence. "And don't you dare say anything to him!"

"All right," Lara muttered. "Sheesh."

"Thank you so much," Mélanie said to them, smiling again. "I owe you big. I'll…wait…" She whirled around. A group of bikers turned into the street, and approached the hotel at a leisurely pace. The broad wheels and the sturdy frames of the bikes were spattered with dirt, and the men were joking and laughing. Beat rode at the front, followed by the rest of the downhill-team. Mélanie jumped up from her chair, and ran across the lawn in front of the hotel.

"Hey, you guys!" she yelled. "Hey! I have to ask you something!"

They watched from the comfort of their deck chairs and benches how Mélanie delved into another explanation while the men on the bikes listened intently.

"The good thing is that we will have so much more stuff to mock them about," Michelle began eventually. "The bad thing is that it's a real slog to find."

"In the episode with Gino they talk about drug tests," Andrea piped up. "I never knew I'd one day listen to a podcast about pee but here I am." Corinne patted her arm, and Andrea sighed.

"How many episodes are there?" Priska asked, staring intently at her phone. "Wait, I found it. Odi, Gino…and Tanguy. So, three."

"Three so far," Wendy said. "Scroll down, he's promising more."

"Damn it."

---

Two things Corinne required in the morning: peace and quiet. Thus when Luca suddenly appeared at their table in the breakfast room before she had even had a chance to sip on her coffee, she was not amused.

"What?" she snarled, and Luca flinched away from her furious glance, almost spilling some of the orange juice he carried . He took a cautionary step away from her before he turned to Mélanie.

"Did you send the downhill-team a link to Loïc's podcast?"

Mélanie frowned. "Yes. Why?"

"What? Aren't we allowed to listen to it?" Priska asked.

"Not you," Luca said, and rolled his eyes. "The other downhill-team."

"Of course," Lara said. "He was talking about the real downhill-team, not about us."

Luca gulped as all eyes at the table turned towards him. "I did not say that!" he hissed. "Stop twisting my words!"

They glared at him for a little while longer before Joana broke down giggling.

"I hate you," Luca muttered.

"You were saying?" Wendy asked with her sweetest smile, and stole a piece of cold cut from Luca's plate.

Luca took another step back, and glared at her. "Niels listened to Loïc's podcast."

"That's nice of him," Mélanie said.

"And he told the rest of the team what Tanguy said about them."

Corinne frowned, just like the rest of the table, and she wrecked her brain as she tried to remember what Tanguy had said about downhill. Luca looked at them expectantly.

"The thing with the Nutella?" he added.

Oh, that. Corinne nodded, and took a bite out of her bread.

Mélanie shrugged. "And?"

"And?" Luca exclaimed. "Do you want to start a war? We'll never hear the end of it."

He did not explain further as the downhill-team walked into the room.

"Anyway, thanks for nothing," Luca spat, and joined his teammates at their table.

They all watched expectantly what would happen, the ones with their back to the buffet turning around in their chairs.

"Do you think they're going to…?" Priska asked but did not finish.

Michelle shrugged. "Could be. They're very sensitive."

Tanguy was cutting a piece of bread, deeply lost in his thoughts, and it took a moment for him to realise that he had the attention of every woman in the room. He smiled uncertainly, and gave them a little wave, not realising that Beat and Niels were approaching from behind.

"Wha…hey!" he exclaimed when Beat slapped him hard on the shoulder, and picked up his plate.

Beat hissed disapprovingly, and shook his head. "I don't think I can let you have that," he declared, and pointed at a piece of cheese. "Do you see that?"

He turned to Nies, who eyed the plate just as gravely. "Impossible. We have to save Tanguy."

"What are you doing?" Tanguy asked, and tried to snatch his plate back from Beat. On the other side of the table, Ramon stared at the scene with wide eyes. Luca, however, calmly buttered his bread.

"This cheese has too much fat for a dainty slalom-racer like you," Beat explained, and held the plate high above Tanguy's head. "If you eat that, you won't be able to fit through the gates."

Tanguy gave a groan. "Is this about the podcast?" he asked. "I said sorry."

"We're just trying to help," Niels said, and ate the cheese. "You're welcome," he added with his mouth full.

Corinne laughed together with the others as Tanguy chased Beat and Niels for his breakfast.

"What are they doing?" Loïc asked, both hands full, and stopped on his way to the table where Odi and Justin were already waiting.

"They heard that Tanguy called them fat," Mélanie explained. "On your podcast."

"It's not funny anymore!" Tanguy exclaimed from the other side of the room, and lunged at Niels.

"Really? My podcast?" Loïc beamed with joy. "They listened to it?"

"Of course," Michelle said. "What, you think they wouldn't want to?"

Loïc shrugged. "To be honest, I started to think so. At first it was a bit disappointing. But this week the number of listeners really exploded. I think it's finally getting some traction."

"Rightfully so," Wendy said. "It's really…great."

Priska spluttered into her cup but Loïc was too happy to pay her any attention.

"Thank you," he said, and smiled at them. "You know, I've only interviewed one woman so far. Maybe one of you would be up for an interview once?"

Corinne showed him her shiniest smile, and gave Loïc a thumbs up. Under the table, something heavy kicked her in the shin. "Sure!" she said. "Just…whenever."

"Of course," Lara added, hiding her mouth behind a napkin.

"Great!" Loïc laughed. "I'll get back to you! See you later." With that, still overcome with happiness, he floated back to his table.

Once he was gone, Mélanie distributed some more kicks under the table, one of them aimed at Corinne.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"For laughing at my brother!" Mélanie hissed.

"I wasn't laughing at him," Corinne said. "At least…not much."