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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years ago

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even more prompts catchup

April 5th: What was school like for you, or what is it currently like for you if you are still in school? Elementary, high school, post-secondary?

i Hate/d school lmfao......like i do Like To Learn and Know Shit, and of course Sometimes / on some occasions it was like, hey i'm having a good to pretty great time at school, but those were usually Special occasions or teachers going out of their way to give us you know, fun projects / go beyond the Standardized Testing curriculum, which natch they couldn't always do / did require sort of going Above & Beyond, rather than being the constant, guaranteed experience of like hooray for school......it's like, oh hooray re: the Play Scenes my fourth grade english class did that was like, an Extra thing, where we got to audition and i just had a great time like oh right, clearly Theatre in retrospect, or hooray re: the field trips, or projects we did In Class, since i hated homework.......i was always that accursed (i mean, not accursed for Me, but) combination of "really a terrible student but also gets great grades" lmao i forever do things Last Minute but like, when i was At school, in class, i'd just power through whatever work there was then & there usually, and in middle school would sometimes do hw on the bus, as i was the last on the bus route to be picked up in the morning or dropped off in the afternoon, but as soon as i got home i was in Home Mode and yknow. didn't just sit down and continue School Stuff asap. also hardly ever Studying unless it's the night / morning before a test lmfao but i had a great memory for that stuff, so studying that last minute was like "yep, i Do remember this from going over it 2 seconds ago" so yknow, despite hating school / no good Study Habits(tm) or anything, i did fine. i also read a ton, at home or at school and at any other point. so i was also like, quiet and generally ~well behaved~ or whatever lol (the like "how are kids (or anyone) supposed to stay focused and on task for 7+ hours a day..." thing), segue into next paragraph

i also remember like, 3 day a week preschool being the first time i was, you know, in some sort of School and also around other kids that much, i did have this sense that like, somehow there were Rules that i wasn't following, not re: Classroom Rules or something, but wrt socializing with peers, like that everyone else had something going on in how they interacted which i wasn't gonna get right, & i had this sense of like, not really being Allowed to interact lmao, even being 4 years old i have a few distinct memories re: this of like, a) choosing to play by myself in the classroom or when outside, and b) my "best friend" being the one person who just like, chose to hang out with me lmfao, but i was like oh cool Having A Friend lmao, like i didn't Not want to have friends, i was just already aware of like, i don't feel like i can just up and interact w/these people and i don't feel like they want me to, and c) re: that being aware of whatever Rules Of Interaction existing and that i wouldn't meet them / abide by them and thus there'd be some kind of repercussion for not meeting those rules, and not being allowed, i remember that like. there was this other indoor playspace in the lower level and there were toys i wanted to play with but Refrained from, and it was like, why did 4 yr old me get the idea i Wasn't Really Allowed, and most of what i can theorize is that it was like, well other kids might want to play with that, and the Normal / Better kids should get priority lmao, and/or being nervous that it just might otherwise lead to some sort of Interaction i wouldn't feel ready for.....and d) sitting at a table with like whatever 4 or 5 other kids or something and amongst ourselves someone was like "oh put your foot in the middle if you're [x]" and i tried to join in on a technicality lmfao and also just in, you know, active efforts to be Participating with these other kids on their terms, and it did not pay off, something that repeated uhhhhh, forever i guess lol. insert that post like can allistic people be normal for 5 seconds.....

like in elementary school i wasn't really making friends either, incredibly, i was Amicably Tolerated by many people then & like, again also at any point after at least lmao (and it helps that i was generally in teachers' good graces, not that i narced on anyone ever, but i had like, my Niche as the Academically Successful One, and also i was the kid who draws, another shoutout to some post and tweet about how being The Drawing Kid was like, some measure of respect but also disdain lmfao...) and sometimes people would again like. choose to interact with me repeatedly, and i'd sort of be nonplussed at best b/c it's like, okay thanks but in this situation i didn't Choose this any more than i choose [Trying to be in the group but being rejected/excluded], so it's kinda weird, i was friends with someone for a few years in elementary school but we just were Coincidentally in the same class for those years, when we were in different classes in 3rd or 4th grade and just weren't seeing each other it fizzled out, in middle school i made another couple friends where we were all being Funny lmao, but i didn't go to high school, so once again we weren't seeing each other, and [At School] was where i always had most Interactions with people, didn't see people much outside of school even if we were hanging out / being friends During school, for [a whole tangent] reasons, so. guess the good news is i'm still in touch / friendly acquaintances with some people from school from college, but even then, there was Some more social success or whatever, but not all That much, and i was still unhappy like, not having many friends, often being like "i'm going to the cafe a block away b/c i have no social occasions here and i want to get out of the dorm / be around people," that if i was with more than one other person i could end up the third wheel friend lmao or nobody is paying attention when you talk or oh no i put myself out there hanging with a friend group but maybe people thought you were a joke or something, thanks. smh

and that like, speaking of college, i went early but this was, for my part, truly primarily driven like "well i hate school so if i can Not go to high school, okay" and like, while i got in and everything it was still like "tf is college, i've never known what i Want To Do so i wonder if i'll figure this out, but i'm not expecting to last past the first semester / year b/c this is college and i'm a terrible student actually lol" but then turns out i kept doing well enough like A's & B's like oh woops i guess i'm still here, then, hope i can figure out what tf "credit hours" means (finally did lol).....then sophomore year was a bunch of just Agonizing over "what tf do i major in," something i never figured out, wherein i might bring something up & it got parentally shot down like "never heard you talk about that" like what tf Did you hear me talk about? are you thinking i had my life figured out by age 9, b/c i didn't think that, i'm only 15/16 even Now, even being the Regular college age it's like, nobody's figuring their life out then. also i didn't tell my parents things, so. and then i settle on something that sure, Might've been of interest, but also it was like, a) a program that barely existed and req'd taking classes at a like 30 min away campus and also the head of department had Just retired and the most heinous teacher in the related fields was now in charge, brilliant and b) the sort of thing you'd just wanna start taking prerequisites for like as soon as you set foot on campus, like, great. and c) i was like, hardly feeling all the Academic Ambition anyway b/c i never had, b/c i hate/d school, and b/c i still didn't Know what i wanted to major in, and i was stressed n depressed and also realizing oh right, i'm not cishet, and oh right, i'm never going to get along with my family b/c [long tangent] reasons and that's kind of concerning, here i am impending Being 18 and like, how do i get out of this b/c it's becoming clearer that i'm not just gonna start getting along with the 'rents now that i'm not an elementary schooler and also now that i'm realizing the Reasons being at home sucks. guess i learned stuff in college lol but also it was like, the experience of getting to be Away From Home and existing every day without parents literally / figuratively over my shoulder at some point every day, and getting to do shit on my own and figure things out while Not At Home.....i also had a lot of fun taking a couple classes from this one music prof lol. he was this weird really enthusiastic and really knowledgeable guy lmao like great, these evening classes where we go over to the arts building and he plays things on the piano off the cuff and tells a lot of tangential stories while we're learning about like, beethoven technically, or folk music. didn't need those classes but they were great, i've had these teachers who were totally into whatever they were teaching and had a great time with that

also acknowledgment to the fact i was a No Extracurriculars person all through school, k thru 6 and college alike really, although i took dance class for that k thru 6 period, just that was separate from school actually (and another fun "being away from home" thing and Theatresque performance thing i enjoyed) but besides that it was like, how do i figure out what i want to do without committing to joining this whole thing, i don't know How to sign up for stuff really either, and it'd probably entail "asking for stuff" and needing to coordinate more rides and etc and that's just a hassle, and i wanna go home from school asap anyways, and then like, when it came to college, i was again at first thinking like "well idk what i'm doing and i hate homework so i'll probably mess it up in this first year anyways" and figured that doing anything Extra outside classes was just gonna be too much, and also, it's like, i've never been in these kinds of groups before and why am i gonna start in college, where there'll probably be all these people who Have done this stuff before, and are also 18? e.g. even though it was like "hey you're away from home and don't have to ask/tell anyone else anything to do this club stuff or whatever!" supposed ideal environment for trying stuff out, it was like, maybe i'm theoretically interested in auditioning for the fall theatre production, but the last acting experience i had was like, "2 month drama class in middle school" or "that 4th grade [section of a] play" so like, not really Any education or experience or Training re: any of that stuff, and a bunch of 18 yr olds who might've, or [age peers] who were theatre people who had already done stuff so they weren't getting Lead Roles or anything but they were getting cast / taking classes / joining an a capella group while i'm like right on, i'm over here with some sort of Grade Honor Society (??) saying my gpa qualifies me to join and be able to experience some further academic rigor/requirements lmfao and i'm like absolutely not. get away lol. anyways so bit of a chaotique Post K12 Zone Education Experience there lmfao, all kinds of things i'd Like to Learn and even take classes on, but didn't like, right i love learning languages but never took classes, love math and shit but only got to a certain level of calc and even then seemed to miss some Lore, never did anything re: theatre, etc and so on. so you wonder if some advantages re: high school would be like, more chances for those extracurriculars (or regular curriculars) but, as though i wouldn't have the same qualms about getting in on any of it, and as if i wouldn't've still hated school but also still been at home, F. and i think people can be a lot more normal to each other when it's college and you're Not stuck in one building together 8 hours a day lmao, got some gentle "occasional Bullying style attention" in middle school, but had juuust enough like, [that Niche of good grades / kid who draws] and people who Were friendlier to me that it was you know, unpleasant, but didn't have to be that huge a deal, and then i was outta there soon enough. also, in college many people are 18 or older, as opposed to 11 to 13. anyways the rest of my school story was that in the end the problems were "i don't know what i want to major in and also now's a worse time than ever b/c i've realized my existence At Home is untenable, and naturally i am quite depressed & stressed about things, and i gotta say absolutely virtually every adult presence was either totally unhelpful to Counterproductive here lmao, like, not much anyone could do really but it's helpful when someone is like, i'll treat you like a person vs simply just going 'uh why are you not doing the academic stuff good enough'" lmfao like. the whole time Not having friends i'd wanna talk to through class and happening to get good grades in part b/c i somehow Could as easily as i did and also i was afraid of getting C's or worse b/c "tfw i wasn't even yet in a grade that gave you A thru F grades yet but my older sister caught shit for getting a C

like :/" and etc means adults are like My Student Is Fine, and also, what are you gonna do even if they aren't, i guess. i just had to figure out completely for myself Why and How i really wasn't Fine and that was quite difficult and also took a long time. then there was a mutual prank of "i drop out of college at the tail end of things" and "now i have to be at home with parent/s more resentful of your obvious Waywardness (insert: not being cishet, and the fact it occurs to me that my being autistic was always causing 'problem' behavior i was getting shit for like, the whole time lmfao, even if nobody knew / labeled it like oh this is for ND reasons, or if it was both true i tried to come out (smh, thought i Had to b/c that was part of Not Being Cishet) and it was simply ignored / unaddressed and yet it sure fueled further specific resentment of my not Performing Gender properly, or "worse," so that went well, in that i eventually abruptly left and did not maintain contact, in the interest of "the levels to which i was thriving was like, that if i bailed and like died 50 hrs later it'd still be what i want to do," true to that i did not / don't regret it. and what do you know, i was first able to bail to a relatively nearby friend from college's home, whose family also liked me lmao. shoutout to school still being where i made Any friends, except a friend i made who was a coworker of several years. and Online Friends, which, another school connection, that like, i can more readily Connect w/people via talking about interests, something that happened Sometimes at school in person lmao but not much, but also that i Talk About Interests in a way through Drawing, which, well shoutout to doodling in the margins of papers throughout school lmfao, it didn't hurt! that's my saga.

oh and that footnote, i also really enjoyed the "in middle school you either take language classes or 4 Electives you rotate through each year" and those electives sure featured some more varied and hands on activities i had a great time with. shoutout to like, cooking, and to shop class, my Car Designs were great apparently, idk how. shoutout to my Intuition re: engineering or something lmaoo.....very fun to just end the schoolday in that big garage space where you could actually open that garage door right to where all the buses were, beautiful. Oh, and that's another footnote, when my last class of the day in 8th grade was english, i'd sometimes finish work early and my teacher would let me go to our spacious library, with the v nice librarian who'd recommend books to me she thought should be checked out more often b/c she knew i liked to read that much, and also just generally had teachers / other adult staff kinda wandering in at the end of the day, talk about "i don't really relate to other ppl my age" where i did generally prefer to be around adults, so that was fun. oh and also shoutout to hating school lmao wherein during like, middle school when the schoolday started at like 7:30am or smthing disgusting and i just learned to like, view whatever time it was in a "at least it's almost [x]" like well okay, first period is math and that kinda sucks but at least once it's over this hardest part of the day will be over, then next class is kinda more chill at least, and then it'll be the last period before lunch, etc etc etc where i could sort of keep up that stamina like telling myself at any point it was Almost [a more encouraging time of day] lmao like. kinda fucked up to have to be dragging yourself through the weekdays like that, but

Oh! goddamn and i didn't even get into that if i ever got in ~trouble~ in elementary school it was stuff like Not Paying Attention, but where half the time that might be some other kid beside me messing around lmfao and i'm not gonna be like "uhhh follow the rules!!!" (and that even when i was In Trouble like go sit in the chair where you have to be quiet there for like 10 min i might say something to some other kid in that zone and they'd be like "um it's the quiet chair you have to be quiet!!" or "uh we're getting into the next lesson and you have to put that book back asap" like wow these other kids are dweebs about Rules lmfao) and there'd just be times like, it's 1st grade and i know how to read pretty well already but we're going over the alphabet like stoppp i know the Phonics already........or the ways ND people can kind of Intuit some stuff more successfully, like in third grade learning multiplication i neverrrrr studied but just broke it down like, okay i remember the Fives b/c of telling time, i know the 2x table and stuff, i know the commutative property, if we're all the way at the 8x and i haven't Memorized stuff, i can still like, break it down to say, [5 x 8] + [8 x 2] or something when i see 8 x 7, even if it takes a second lmfao.......and stuff like the tragedy of when i Did make a friend in like, 2nd grade, who i think we didn't even talk to each other ever?? i was playing legos or smthing by myself once during Indoor Recess and she just started playing agreeably along with me, aka someone socializing on My Terms apparently as our Introduction, and we just were friends past that but one time, not even during a Lesson Session, we were messing around quietly making each other laugh as the incredibly important process of "put papers in your folders" was going on, and since we were Not Paying Attention for some reason the teacher made a whole example of it where i had to carry my desk across the classroom for the Shaming Element of it and also so that i had to permanently sit way further from that friend, so that was kind of discouragement re: interacting at all. thank you to that teacher, who'd later once Gesticulate to me from across the gym that i should put my arms down at my sides rather than being crossed (we were rehearsing some class performance) & i had no idea what she was trying to convey, so afterwards she told me i had to have Reduced Recess Time or some shit because of Ignoring her instead of putting my arms down lmfao. and i was irritated at having been misinterpreted / my Intentions dictated to me and punished like that, but i was also used to it from adults lmfao and did not bother explaining myself lol like yeah god forbid i left my arms crossed on purpose and now i have to read some more during recess. tl;dr school has so much nonsense & i def had some Times re: being autistic & also just being someone who hated school forever lmao, think it was Also 2nd grade where one arbitrary sunday night i just cried out of frustration at having to go back for another normal school week. classic. oh and that also, while i wasn't like "oooo booksmart people who hate not having a Definitive Correct Answer to things &/or ohhh autistic ppl So Good at math, in a way everyone hates and disrespects, but they suck at Literature/Arts which requires you to reflect on humanity and shit," like, not only was i the drawing kid but i was also apparently ahead of the curve as it were at like, Literary Analysis lmfao where there was a few times in elementary school i'd be the kid providing the Interpretation like "what's this poem about / what's the theme or Symbolism in this story," but from elementary school to college it's like, for god's sake don't ask me to come up with a story / work with some really open ended prompt, i don't Invent in that way, and when i try to draw on Inspiration i'll get stuck on some specific source and be unable to do anything but just rip it off really lmao. but then again i was prolific in "it's 1st grade and you write and illustrate a little short story or smthing in these booklets

that we then have a simple little binding process for" like ohhh fancy, i got a tootsie roll lollipop at Awards Time for writing a shit ton of those lol. but that's like, when you're too young to have that much of a Creative Process anyways lmao. but then, my older sister, whose Thing was writing, has an incredible 2 Volume like, noir mystery saga from those elementary school times, it's a classic lmao. anyways once again so much to say about School lol closing the door after meandering on that one for this long lol

April 6th: Are you able to drive? If so, was it difficult to learn? What was difficult about it? If not, do you use any alternatives?

i did learn to drive, tbh just universally it's like, at any point you're driving there's A Lot to pay attention to at once, even if you think you're Good At That or whatever, which i sure don't think i always am lol, and it's pretty wild we just, you know, let everyone go around as fast as they want in machines that can kill you or someone else, and this is also Unnecessary b/c like, let's have accessible & reliable public transit so that everyone can travel without Needing to have a car / someone else who will drive them. i didn't think i had too much trouble learning to drive, but it had to help that i just took it very seriously from the start lmao like, well, i'm quite aware i could kill someone with this. the driving classes i took were alright, i remember the instructor being pretty chill and friendly lol. rip to the fact i could be tense when driving with parent/s, when driving a manual i'd always like screech the tires when accelerating out of a Stop, until all at once it was like "and i'm driving that manual car alone on a road trip & wouldn't you know it, only literally once did i have that issue of not getting out of a stop smoothly enough" lmao like the Anxiety......really like yeah i had an alright time learning and think i'm solid enough at driving / like doing it, theoretically, but Driving Is Wild just in general and let's have that public transit

April 7th: How are you with sarcasm and/or metaphors/figures of speech? Do you interpret things very literally?

i think i Usually get what people mean with these Devices but i can't really say lol, but anytime you know, someone is being more Implicit in what they say, plenty of times i can infer one implication and only later realize they probably meant a different one, or yknow, i make whatever initial inference i make and can be stuck like "???" and have to like, mentally run diagrams about the interaction lol......meanwhile i'm not always remembering that like, if i'm shifting context mentally that's necessarily able to be inferred by whoever i'm talking to lol, whether it's about getting into some adjacent topic or like, i don't think it tends to be very clear even in person when i've started being sarcastic lmao, like i know that can be true for anyone but it's like well, guess i gotta make it clearer i'm doing a bit......flipside of that or something lmao that people are more Obvious than they think they are sometimes about like, idk, when someone is sort of making some sarcastic remark to you but the sarcasm is also sort of only to themself, aka just like okay i know you mean this more dismissively / disparagingly than re: what you're saying just at face value lol like. just always fun >:/

#30daysofautismacceptance #2021 #you know that Read More means especially a saga even by my standards lmfao

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multsicorn · 5 years ago

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Is Wei Wuxian your fave? Please do the meme with answers about Wei Wuxian. Thank you

[HELLO you sent me this like? weeks ago? I am answering it now!]

haha YES he IS! (Which is very convenient, that, when one’s favorite character is also the protagonist - it means that my priorities and the show’s tend to be pretty well in alignment.)

(and why are you asking me when you’re not even in this fandom! but I

[this is really RIDICULOUSLY long, btw.]

How I feel about this character

I love him so much OMG… I was just thinking, yesterday or maybe this morning, that it’s early to tell, y’know, but he might join my ~FAVORITES OF ALL TIME.~

He is just! Set up so well, (~it’s cheating,~ no, that was gonna be a post), he loses so fucking much (parents, foster family/home, newly created found family/home, beloved sister, #it’s complicated wrt beloved brother, um, magical ability (#it’s complicated), hm, DIES), and he also - gets? does? etc. so fucking much. He’s good at way too many things tbh, at fighting and playing the flute (it’s also a form of fighting, it’s a magical flute), at charming people and inventing ~NEW MAGICS~ and… pissing people off? that’s a skill lol? He takes up farming/gardening, cause he rescued a bunch of prisoners of war who need something to eat, (and he misses food from home); he takes up raising a very small boy (he says! miss me with saying he’s not!) as his own, because someone needed to, because he was one of those same prisoners of war.

He NEVER FUCKING STOPS, no matter what anyone thinks, no matter the cost. He’ll take a curse mark on himself or go into a dangerous trance or (any number of other things that happen in the plot) for someone he doesn’t know, or doesn’t like… just because he thinks he can, is a lot of it, and isn’t that fascinating. And because he can, he couldn’t not.

What I meant, though, re: ~the man is non-stop!~, is: he does it with a smile, a laugh, a joke. A bowl of wine and a delighted stroll through the woods, looking around at the leaves, or a stop at a stall selling snacks or cute ornaments. He’s always working, always thinking, always playing - and! these are the same thing! for him! Even though his play definitely can get more physical than anything else, there’s always still this alertness looking around for an unexpected trick. And the work he chooses to do, not the fighting, but invention and the studying to back it up, traveling and helping people with their monster/ghost/spirit problems… that’s play, for him, it’s fun. There’s always something new and interesting to see or find or learn or make.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

LAN WANGJI aka his canonical soulmate/boyfriend/husband/cultivation partner, the one who knows him!, my heart. Howwww… can I explain their connection? They love each other, of course, and probably more importantly, they get each other… they trust each other, they work so well together, they make each other so happy. That’s one of the things that I love, that although they’re both people who are highly liked and/or admired generally in their society on a superficial level, that they’re both fucking weird people? Wei Wuxian is charming and Lan Wangji is impeccably virtuous (and they’re both very talented), but when you get to know them, Wei Wuxian never fucking shuts the fuck up and Lan Wangji will barely say one single word… they’re both a lot to handle, in a number of different ways! But they. Just like each other, a lot.

And the trust between these two. Slays me. Wei Wuxian lets Lan Wangji hold a sword to his throat, cause he knows Lan Wangji will know if he’s ~gone too far.~ Lan Wangji defies his clan, his family, the whole cultivation world, for Wei Wuxian, because he knows, that Wei Wuxian is and was right. They pursue justice, goodness, together… they find it in each other.

People try to set up an opposition between ‘marry your best friend’ and ‘star crossed lovers’ high-drama types of scenarios? But these epic losers (she says with love) are both… there’s no reason why not, after all. And I love ‘em SO MUCH.

JIANG CHENG, who is is his foster brother. Usually I’m not one for incest? It only tends to be something I ship when a sibling bond between characters is broken, or twisted, … or fails to really exist in the case of Luke/Leia type scenarios. (I have never watched a Star War, but I did read Splinter of the Mind’s Eye, okay.) The relationship between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng (and their sister, Jiang Yanli), very very much does exist, but… Jiang Cheng stabbed his sword into the rock of the cliff that Wei Wuxian was hanging off of, and yelled at him to go to hell. And Wei Wuxian finished yeeting himself off the cliff, and D I E D.

(it’s totally a romantic setup! what!?)

Anyway, they both really really love each other, they need to reconcile ASAP PLZ, and pairs of characters who both really really love each other but also have deeply conflicted and fucked up and sometimes even murdery intentions towards each other are extremely my jam. I want to smush them together! Mostly involving conversations, and extremely fraught invitations to visit, and small significant gestures. But also sometimes involving sex, because… why not.

SOMETIMES JIANG YANLI, though only in concert with Jiang Cheng as an OT3, because if Jiang Yanli’s still alive… you can’t have two of the three siblings together ~like that~ without a third. (So I guess this is the first exception that I’ve found so far to my usual pattern! Of only shipping incest when it’s already all fucked up. Jiang Cheng’s got enough fucked-up-ness for the all of them?). Anyway, I would like to thank the scene where Jiang Yanli shows Wei Wuxian her wedding dress for including the line from Jiang Cheng ‘you don’t think she’d marry you!?’ (to which I always say, it’s okay, Jiang Cheng, no one is leaving you out! how very dare you).

Together the two of them (Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian) are sweet and mutually supportive, and simply the delight of fucking even further with societal expectation and rumor is not going to get me shipping that. But as a threesome! Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian struggle with issues of insecurity, of jealousy, vis-a-vis family, and poor Yanli - she’s always trying to be enough for both of them, for everyone, and it must be very hard, … she reconciles the two of them, it’s a pattern, and they’re more united in thinking she deserves the world than they are in anything else. It can be fun to play with.

WEN NING!! Wei Wuxian walked away from his family and set his face against the cultivation world for Wen Ning, and Wen Qing, and their followers. He says he would’ve done it for anyone, but in fact he does it - the prison break, the dive all the way down into dark magic - for Wen Ning. He brings Wen Ning back to life. Which is a huge gift, but not necessarily one that Wen Ning would’ve accepted? But. He doesn’t get to be asked, he was dead.

And Wen Ning, in turn, is just ridiculously incredibly loyal to Wei Wuxian. It’s part of how Wei Wuxian brought him back to life, but - he’s the knife in Wei Wuxian’s hand. (That’s almost literally what his sister, Wen Qing, says). That sort of intimacy, being a human weapon, turning over your own volition, (not voluntarily! but Wen Ning’s okay with the fact that it’s a thing that happens!), to someone else, is… man, it’s a lot.

And there’s also the things Wen Ning does control: after Wei Wuxian comes back from the dead, (so they’re undead buddies! ;) in different ways), he follows Wei Wuxian everywhere he goes. Which causes some problems! One cannot have a zombie everywhere, with one, at all times. Even if he does save your life when you don’t expect needing it. … so, anyway, they both do these huge amounts of things for each other. They won’t give up on each other. They keep trying to take care of each other - Wei Wuxian gives Wen Ning his sword to wield. They never ever meant to depend on each other like this, but that’s what happened when they wouldn’t let go - and now they don’t need to, by the end of the story. But that story is A LOT, and I want them closer, and also to fuck with the controlling-the-undead angle ;).

XUE YANG! This is a never-ending list, lol. Anyway, if Jiang Cheng was the answer of ‘ship my two favorite characters,’ this is very much the answer of ‘ship the two characters that are hottest to me.’ ;). Anyway, I should point out that I don’t ship-ship them. Xue Yang’s a mass-murdering sociopath. And even if you can catch him in the plot before he goes all mass-murdery… Wei Wuxian would never love Xue Yang. (Never-minding the distinction between ‘love’ and ‘in love with,’ he definitely loves all the above.) But would Wei Wuxian fuck Xue Yang? Maybe! If you can set it up right.

(my current attempt stalled out with Xue Yang threatening to murder a small child in Wei Wuxian’s care, so… there’s no fucking in that case.)

Anyway. They’re very similar in some ways. They’re fearless, they really really hate boredom, they love to fuck around… just for fun. They’re both curious! When Xue Yang meets Wei Wuxian, for the first time, he asks him about the charm Wei Wuxian had invented that he’s fighting him with. While they’re fighting. (Which really strikes me as a very Wei Wuxian move.) Pity about the being evil thing, lol. But Xue Yang is a demonic cultivator who’s following on the magical paths that Wei Wuxian laid out… so a sorta teacher/disciple thing could be interesting. Again! If you could get around the killing people thing for just a second, before of course bringing it back in to smash everything down.

and that is, finally, all the major answers re: actively shipping, (really my main ships in this show are Wei Wuxian/almost everyone he significantly interacts with, and then I guess some other people who aren’t Wei Wuxian can also have some ships too?), but a few more quick answers I’d Definitely Read:

NIE HUAISANG in a friends-who-have-sex way back during their time in summer school together. You can’t tell me Lan Wangji thought that he wasn’t walking in on a Wei Wuxian/Jiang Cheng/Nie Huaisang orgy, that one time! You can’t tell me that Nie Huaisang lent Wei Wuxian gay porn book(s?) and never at least tittered about the idea! Their friendship at that point isn’t all that deep but… I think they both might very well find it a fun way to ~let off steam,~ or whatever, and I’d be into it.

WEN QING, even though I really like the fact that her friendship with Wei Wuxian is a hundred percent platonic (yes, it is, I’ll fight you). I love how they run the Burial Mounds together, I love the mutual sympathy and the mix of teasing and deadly seriousness in their dynamic, what I really want is SO MUCH MORE of just their friendship - and working-together partnership! - but, you see, I have a weakness, for friends who are not romantic! Just friends! But they fuck once or twice or in a while for fun, in between doing things that are more important.

(Also I particularly like when they’re exes who are better off as friends, in a modern AU? Idk somehow it just feels like a perfect fit for these two.)

… and I realize belatedly that the question asked ‘romantically’ and not ‘non-romantic fuck-buddies’ and therefore half of my answers don’t even apply, but whatever, I do what I want, and honestly for non-OTP-level ships I’m just as likely to ship them as fuckbuddies as I am romantically. So there, meme, I cannot be constrained.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I COMPLETELY REFUSE TO CHOOSE: like, okay, fixing his relationship with his brother is the number-one most important thing to me about how canon ended. So I guess?? I’d have to say that?? YUNMENG SHUANGJIE (the Pride Twins of Yunmeng) 4EVER, sure, definitely. They both sacrificed everything for each other! More importantly, to me, I think both… of them, just really miss each other a lot. Jiang Cheng’s fucking furious at Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian’s pretty much given up on making any sort of attempt to change that, but I love them both and want them both to have everything that they still can that they want in life, and that means each other.

But I also love Wei Wuxian’s friendship with Wen Ning! And his friendship with Wen Qing! So much!!! They are ALSO family, okay, they made a new home together (and then it died) ;___;.

And then!!! The way he relates to the kids! Is just so wonderful. I love how he tries to be the ‘cool uncle’ to Jin Ling, how he balances the side of ‘I was an obnoxious brat too at your age… and in fact I kinda still am!’ with being a very responsible and caretaking adult. I love the way that he gets down in the mud and plays with Sizhui as A-Yuan, being silly, and is also so thrilled and proud of Sizhui as an adult. So uh yeah these are all of my favorite things

My unpopular opinion about this character

Hmmm I’m not so sure what’s unpopular. (Besides a lot of my non-canon-OTP ship choices, but those aren’t really ‘opinions about the character.’ I don’t think he’s likely in near-canon-verses to be with anyone besides his husband, I just like stories where it can happen!).

I think I’ll say: I think he’s generally a pretty happy person. He hides suffering with smiles, certainly! That’s what he does! But even though he has lost a lot - and even though I think he feels guilt over some things, like his sister’s death, and his nephew’s being an orphan - he doesn’t tend to dwell, on either the sorrow or the guilt in his life. He is genuinely pretty okay... and finds ways to be okay, even happy, even in the worst parts of his life, day-to-day! Even in the Burial Mounds, for example, when he’s missing his family and his almost-not-quite-yet boyfriend, ... sometimes he drowns in the missing, yeah, but far more often he’s happy with the things and the people that he’s growing there.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

HE AND LAN WANGJI SHOULD HAVE KISSED??? That’s the most obvious and unarguable thing. They’re together, they’re so fucking together… on the steps of Carp Tower, in ep 42? Or maybe in the snowy night in the Jingshi, in ep 43, before the scene faded away (to black). (And presumably multiple times in the eps after that, but, eh, whatever). The only reason why this didn’t happen is censorship - though I do admit, I love all the post-canon get-together fics.

Also: HE SHOULD”VE STAYED AT CLOUD RECESSES??? With Lan Wangji??? Or Lan Wangji should’ve gone with him, to ~wander the world together,~ though personally I prefer the ‘Lan Wangji is Chief Cultivator’ ending. Anyway the fact that they separated is bullshit, (although, yes, I know all about that reunion implied in the last scene, but it’s not really satisfactory imo)… but, again, censorship. And, again, I love! All the post-canon fics where Wei Wuxian wanders around for some time before he finally ~comes back home~ to Lan Wangji.

Also also: if we’re talking about artistic decisions that weren’t cause of censorship: he and Jiang Cheng should’ve thawed just a little. Been just a little bit more hopeful. Towards each other, at the end of the show. Jiang Cheng wanting to say something, but not..? It was very ow, to me, it’s not a bad ow, but it needs to be remedied. Let Jiang Cheng find a way to be able to tell his brother he misses and still loves him, please.

#likearumchocolatesouffle #wei wuxian #the untamed

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hattywatch · 6 years ago

Text

Jeff Skinner - Home

A/n: Any time I ever think I am capable of writing a blurb, point me to this, right here. I had the idea for this before I wrote the part 2 to Back Road, but I couldn’t focus on two things at once, so this took a back seat since so many people asked for a sequel to Back Road! This is 13 pages, a little over 5k words and is CLEAN. Totally sfw.

Requested by my bae @hockeyandtaylorswift, and I would like to thank her and @xolilyxo for reading it and being my fav hockey biddies <3

“I can't keep staying with you guys. I feel like I'm living with an old married couple,” Jeff shimmies past Reino and gets to his seat at the kitchen island, where Eichel is leaning, munching on an apple and watching the toaster.

Jack grabs his bread from the toaster as it pops and Jeff watches as he slides open a drawer for a knife and switches spots with Sam to get to the fridge, neither of them thinking about the motion, it looks so practiced.

The way him and Sam move around each other in their apartment is so comfortable. It was really nice of them to ask if he needed a place to stay when he first moved to Buffalo, but it's going on a month now and he just wants a place to go home to that's his; with a spot on the couch that's his, and a mug that's his, and a bathroom cabinet that's filled with his stuff. He's sick of living out of a suitcase.

“Still haven't found anything, then?” Jack asks in between bites of toast while Jeff sips at his juice and shakes his head no.

Reino shuts the cabinet above his head after pulling a plate out of it and sliding his omelette onto it, “Eichs, you still have the number of the chick who found us this place? She was awesome.”

It's Jack's turn to shake his head as he scrolls through his contact list, “I don't think I do, maybe an email? I'll look through them later and see what I can find.”

Jeff nods and makes a mental note to remind him about it later; he's lived with his new teammates long enough to know that Jack's a scatterbrain about everything that isn't done on skates.

_______

You get the email late on a Monday while you're nestled into your couch with a glass of wine watching The Bachelor.

Hey (Y/N),

I wanna send a new teammate to you bc he's having trouble finding his own place and you really helped me out when I was looking. I lost your phone number but had your email so send me your number and I’ll have him set something up. He's sick of crashing with me and Sam lol.

Thanks,

Jack

You roll your eyes and scroll through your contact list to, Client Jack and text him:

It's me. Just got your email. Send him my way, I’d love to help.

_______

You get a text from a number that isn’t saved to your contacts two days after you responded to Jack’s e-mail.

Hi, I’m Jeff, Jack’s friend. He gave me your number and said that you’re the best realtor around. Do you think you could help me start looking for something this weekend? I have to get my own place before I kill a teammate 😑.

You call him, instead of responding to his text, because you’re a professional adult, and also you’re driving and that’s a dangerously high ticket that you don’t really want to deal with right now.

He sounds confused when he answers, with a whispered, “Hullo?”

“Hi, this is (Y/N) calling for Jeff?” You hear him scramble around a little, before he clears his throat, still speaking lowly but sounding a little more awake.

“Oh, yeah, hi! I didn’t think you’d get back to me so soon.” You laugh because your entire paycheck banks on you getting back to people as soon as possible and being at everyone’s beck and call 24 hours a day.

“I just wanted to set something up for this weekend. I already have a few places in mind I could show you. If you wanted to give me some times you’d be free I could schedule a few showings so we can find you a place before the season starts.” You hear him close a door and he finally raises his voice above a whisper.

“That’d be awesome, I love these guys, but I really need my own space asap. I’ll clear all weekend for you. This is my top priority right now.” He sounds tired and you smile, because you know enough about Jack to know he could be a little bit of a diva and honestly, bless Sam for being able to live with him. But you know it's tough to be thrown into it due to a trade or whatever Buffalo is doing right now, shaking up their team.

“I’ll text you a time for Saturday morning. We can meet at a Starbucks or something? I’ll drive, you’re new to the area, don’t want you getting lost! Does that work for you?”

“Sounds like a plan. See you Saturday.” You say goodbye and hang up. You make a mental note to look up this Jeff character, to see if you could get any information that may help you in finding him a home and so you know what you’re getting yourself into.

_______

You’re not exactly sure what you were expecting when you typed “Jeff Buffalo Sabres” into the Google search bar hours later, but what you found wasn’t it.

You learn the basics, that he was traded from Carolina, and like most hockey players- is from Canada. You click on a video, against your better judgement, and you hear voice, new but becoming familiar, giving canned answers about getting pucks on net and playing hard. What you didn’t expect to learn is that he’s adorable, positively boyish. His smile is wide and his eyes crinkle up with it. He seems like the type of person everyone wants to be friends with.

Quickly you close out of the window on your computer. As easy as he is on the eyes, this isn’t really productive to your pursuit of finding him the right apartment, and stalking is illegal in all 50 states.

_______

The next two days are a blur of showings with other clients and searches for apartments suited for one twenty-something male. You’re pleased that you find three to show him, and hope that he’ll take to at least one of them.

You send out a text Friday afternoon, telling him the time you’ll meet him and to be ready for you to knock his socks off.

Client Jeff: At this point I’d live in a box on the street to get my own space. It isn’t going to take much.

You send back a speak-no-evil monkey and the address of the Starbucks where you two plan on meeting.

_______

When Saturday morning comes, you’re grumpy to say the least. You try your best to get a lot of your showings done during the week to avoid the weekend traffic and get some time to sleep in, but you really liked Jack and Sam and don’t mind doing them the favor of helping their buddy out. Plus, who are you to say no to any new clients you can get.

You dress business casual; smart jeans and a navy-blazer over a plain white tee with some red flats, most of the apartments have stairs anyway. You also manage to get your ass into gear on time and are sitting drinking your coffee when you see Jeff stroll in, 2 minutes to 10.

Quickly, you realize he has no idea who he’s looking for, and you take a minute to observe him undisturbed. He looks around, presumably for you, and checks his phone, laughing at something before fast thumbs fire off a message. He walks up to the empty counter and orders his drink; you hear him say both “please” and “thank you” before he pays and throws his change into the tip jar. You decide you like him already.

When he moves to the other counter, waiting for his drink to be made, you decide to make yourself known. As you tidy up your table, your phone vibrates and you look down at your texts,

Client Jeff: I just realized I have no clue who I'm looking for. I'm here and wearing a Sabres sweatshirt if that helps?

After throwing out your trash, you step up behind him and tap him on the shoulder, “Jeff?” You ask it as a question, even though you know that he’s exactly who you’re looking for. He looks up from his phone and spins around with a media smile on his face, unsure of who he’s about to run into.

“Hi... (Y/N)?” he says with an unfailing smile, but crinkled and uncertain eyes. “Yes, that’s me,” you shake his outstretched hand, “Ready to find your new place?” His smile shifts a little and a dimple pops into his cheek, “You have no idea. Let’s go.” He grabs his drink off of the counter and follows you to your car.

_______

You keep the music on the light channel, soft pop playing from the speakers. Jeff seems content to drink his coffee and sit quietly in your passenger seat, but you’ve never really been one for silence.

“How have you been finding Buffalo so far?” He smiles again at your question, “It’s been good. The team’s really nice, the people who recognize me on the street have been really encouraging. It’s definitely a change in scenery and weather, but it’s closer to home.”

You’re happy to hear that Buffalo has been welcoming. Moving is tough, especially alone. “You enjoying living with Jack and Sam?” The light is red and you catch his eye and smile.

“They’re two of the greatest guys I’ve ever met. It was really awesome of them to let me stay as long as they have. They’d probably keep letting me, but they both have routines and I feel like I’m in the way. I just want my own space, ya know? Nothing against them.”

Nodding, you turn onto the block for the first apartment. “Well, I’ll do my best to help you out. I’m with you ‘til the end now.” He unbuckles his seatbelt as you pull over and put your car into park. You get out and open up your folder to give him the first listing. “This is a newer building. It’s really nice and they cater to a slightly more upscale client and have loads of amenities,” you tell him in the elevator on your way up to the unit.

“This place looks too nice for me, are you sure they’d even let me live here?” You laugh out loud at that, Jeff is clearly the kind of guy who holds up well under scrutiny, the kind of guy every parent wants their daughter to bring home, wholesome looking and polite.

“According to Jack, you’re about to be Buffalo’s golden boy. I’m sure they’d beg you to live here, Jeff.” A red flush rises from his neck straight up to his hairline. “I hope so,” he mumbles out as the elevator dings and he motions for you to exit first.

Outside of the unit, you do your best to feature dump and sell him on the place, “There’s a fitness center, a lounge, a study center, reserved parking, a concierge, 24 hour maintenance, and electronic keys, which is kind of cool. You’d basically be living in a hotel.” Waving the card in front of the knob, you can hear the mechanical whirring of the lock, indicating that the door is opening, so you step in and hold it open for Jeff.

He whistles low and walks past the kitchen through the dining area and into the living room. It’s your turn to laugh, “Okay… I’m guessing you don’t cook much then?”

He shakes his head, looking out of the windows that line the living room wall. “You’d be absolutely correct in that assumption.”

“Well then, not that you care, but these are granite countertops and they’re gorgeous,” you sweep your hand in a flourish towards the counters. He does his best to look sheepish and puts on a smile and nods, “They look…. Very nice?” He rocks back on his heels and shrugs a shoulder up.

“Thanks for trying. Don’t pretend to care for me, you’re the one who has to pick a place or keep living with the dynamic duo,” you smile snidely at his stricken face.

“No dishwasher though, which could be a downside for a guy living on his own,” you look at him thoughtfully, trying to figure out if he’s messy or tidy, as if you could tell from a cursory glance.

“I have siblings, we did chores growing up. I know how to clean up after myself,” you’d almost assign his tone as sassy, but he’s far too sweet for you to do anything but keep smiling at him at try to change the subject.

“No significant other will be living with you? I just realized I didn't ask, rude of me.”

“Nah,” He walks through to the bedroom, “I don’t have a girl right now.” He manages his own subject-change now, “One bedroom?”

You nod, “Uh, yes. Only one, but this building has it all; studios and units with one, two or three bedrooms! I didn’t consider that you may be having visitors. That’s my fault; I should have asked.”

He doesn’t let you berate yourself for long though, “I don’t know if I have a preference. My last place had an extra room and my family never wanted to leave, maybe this would be the hint they needed.” He winks and checks out the closet, laundry room, and bathroom before the tour is over and you get back to your car.

“Okay give me feedback? Love it, hate it? Is it missing something integral?” He buckles his seatbelt once more and looks over at you, “Honestly?” you nod and motion for him to continue.

He heaves a sigh and turns to make eye contact with you, “I have no idea what I’m looking for. When I got my last place I was so young and everything seemed awesome because it was all mine. This time around it’s so... different.” It’s an honest answer and you appreciate that, but it doesn’t really help you figure out if he’ll like the next two places any better than this one.

As you drive to the next apartment, you decide to do some digging, maybe it will help figure out what he's looking for. “You said you have siblings that visit, how many of you are there?”

He turns to look over at you, putting his coffee back in the cup holder, “There’s six of us, plus my parents.”

“Woooow” you let out as you flick your turn signal on. He’s polite and asks, “What about you, anyone come and crash at your place uninvited. Shaking your head, you tell him no, “I’m an only child. Probably better off that way. I can’t imagine having to share with five other people. I don’t think that’s my style.”

“I think if you're raised with it, it's different. You're just used to it.” You nod along because nurture versus nature and all that.

_______

The next two apartments aren't in buildings; one is the whole top floor of a house and the second is the main floor.

Jeff is polite, but you have been doing this a long time and you can tell he doesn't like them as much as the one inside of the complex, but he does seem to prefer the one on the top floor, with the extra bathroom and guest room. You watch as he takes in the dark hardwood floors, but wrinkles his nose at the downstairs apartment lacking a tub, and you start fleshing out a more robust image of what he’s looking for.

As you're driving him back to Starbucks to his car, you decide to ask again, “Okay, I don't expect you to know everything you like, but maybe if you see something on Pinterest or Instagram or anything that strikes your fancy, send it to me and I can get an idea of your tastes? I'm sure you'd prefer turn-key?”

“That's a really good idea. Give me your handle.” You spell out your Instagram name for him and your pocket vibrates with the notification. Your car crunches into the parking lot and Jeff adjusts the hat on his head, “Thanks, I know it's your job, but I really appreciate it. Jack and Sam try to help, but...” he trails off with a shrug.

Laughing, you assure him, “You don't have to tell me. I'm the one who spent 5 months finding them that place.” Jeff's eyes open wide and his smile dims, “5 months? I can't live with them for 5 more months.” You try to head him off at the pass.

“Jeff, if you promise to send me some more things that you like, I promise that I will not leave you stranded with Jack and Sam for 5 more months, deal?”

He opens the car door and gets out, leaning back in with that big smile sticking his hand out to shake. “It's a deal. Just text me whenever. I'm free all this week and next weekend. So if you want me to come see something, I'm all yours.”

You tell him will do and he hops in his car and starts it before you drive away.

_______

He doesn’t contact you for a few days. It’s Tuesday when you get a message late at night, snuggled deep into your bed watching old Friends reruns. The text makes your pillow vibrate and you tear your eyes away from Phoebe attempting to teach Joey French to unlock your screen.

When you see Jeff��s name you’re a little thrown off.

Client Jeff: I think I like this...

You wait, as you assume there’s an image that’s coming along with it.

When it finally comes, the photo is blurry but you make out a marble bathroom. It’s simple and stark white, offset by dark grey floors. It’s something to go on, albeit blurry and small, but it’s something.

Just tell me what it is that you like, and I can def go off of that.

The response comes quicker than you would have expected.

Client Jeff: Tbh, I’m a little drunk at one of Eichs friends house. Idk what I like. It’s clean and open? Different than living with a bunch of slobs I guess.

Before you can send a text back to him, your phone buzzes with another.

Client Jeff: I’m drunk texting my realtor. This is what it’s like being a grown up, huh?

You know that feel, that’s for sure, so you cut him a break and text him back.

Seemed a lot more glamorous as a kid, I know.

You fall asleep with your phone next to your pillow and your laptop on your nightstand, searching for open, bright, clean-lined bathrooms.

_______

After his drunk texts, Jeff opened up a little bit. He sent you tons of posts from @ApartmentTherapy, interspersed with some cute dogs, and funny memes. He started texting more frequently too, asking for restaurant recommendations in the city and making some small talk. You have similar taste in movies and TV, so you have a lot to talk about, but you didn't want to be the one to break the boundary, it's not professional. The second weekend you meet him for showings he has your coffee paid for and ready to go when you walk into the coffee shop.

He ends up breaking the boundary first. You assume it’s because you’re one of about 5 people he knows in the state. He's a really sweet guy, so it isn't like you mind at all. He suggests meeting at iHop for breakfast before your third weekend of showings in a row. It seems like a fine idea, you have to eat anyway and you really like talking to Jeff.

Breakfast is spent with him regaling you of his time training in the gym with Eichs and Reino earlier this week. His impression of Jack has you in stitches as you almost spit your coffee out across the table, smacking your hand over your mouth just in time. It sends him into his own peal of laughter, and ends with him face down on the table, pointing at you and silently laughing.

You head to the bathroom to fix your running mascara and he meets you at the door with your purse and tells you it’s on him when you try to shove money at him for your food.

_______

Obviously his house-mates have picked up on your new-found friendship. Jack had messaged you once to ask you to stop, as he deemed you interruptive to boys night.

Client Jack: Listen, I know you guys are like, besties now… but it’s guys night and we’re bowling and Jeff literally can’t stop looking at his phone. he’s really bringing the team down. I wouldn’t mind if he wasn’t on my team, fuck i’d prob encourage it. But tell him you’re going to bed or something so he can focus! Loser has to pick up the bar tabs, so you can understand where i’m coming from right now, (y/n).

You'd never admit it, but you smiled indulgently to yourself, pleased that Jeff really seemed to value you as a friend and not just someone he was forced to be in contact with.

Oh, so sorry that I’m ruining your night Jack. I’ll tell him I’m going to bed. At 830. On a Saturday.

Client Jack: That’s all i ask.

_____________

All the chatting helped though, each weekend you were able to fill your showings with apartments that were increasingly Jeff’s style. You both discovered that he was decidedly more modern; into clean lines and neutral colors.

You start meeting for breakfast every weekend before your first showing. It’s quickly coming up on two months before you even notice. You get along really well, so working the weekend is almost as enjoyable as your shared breakfasts. The two of you commiserate over summer months quickly coming to an end and laughing easily over people's decorating choices in apartments that are decidedly not the one.

The last listing you showed him had been especially cringe worthy, photographing way better than it looked in person. You step inside and instantly realize your mistake.

Jeff hadn't been looking up and barrels into the back of you, spewing red-faced apologies before he could even peel himself away from your back. “Sorry!” he has a hand wrapped around your waist to keep you from toppling forward under his bulk and you snort, because with his accent it comes out “sore-y” and that always gets you laughing.

You realize it before he does, the fact that his hand is still firmly wrapped around your middle, and you’re starting to get a little self conscious of the way you know your jeans are snug against your tummy under his hand. So you clear your throat and he apologizes again before removing his hand and keeping them firmly in his pockets. The tension doesn’t last long as you go through the rest of the apartment and laugh as Jeff raises his eyebrows at the shag carpet that is inexplicably in the bathroom, and you both hightail it out of there as soon as you can.

_______

It’s not out of the ordinary when he texts you late on a Friday night:

Jeff: After we go to the apartments tomorrow do you have any other clients?

You have been saving your Saturdays exclusively for Jeff's showings for the past two months, so you tell him that.

My Saturdays are solely dedicated to finding you a place to live, doll.

Did you find something specific you wanted to see?

Bubbles indicating he’s typing out his reply pop up, but it stops abruptly. They start and stop a few times, before a message finally comes through.

Jeff: Not an apartment, but there’s this new waffle house that just opened? We can change up our routine, lunch instead of breakfast...

Jeff: If you didn’t have anything else going on.

You don’t, and that sounds like the type of relaxed weekend that you’re into, so you peck out a reply.

Sounds like a plan.

You send it over and before you can stop yourself you send a smiley face too. _______

The next day you’re positive Jeff will take to one of these units.

They all have two bedrooms, which you've learned he leans towards, just in case his parents or a sibling decide to pop in. They are all turn key- painted and furnished (he hates furniture shopping and doesn't have the time to paint)- very sleek and modern, his preferred style.

Even better, all of them come with in unit laundry. He claims laundry is his favorite chore and prefers to do it himself rather than send it out. And to top it all off, one has a balcony off the master bedroom. You think he'll choose that one, but you don't want to jinx yourself.

When you get through all three without Jeff so much as considering placing an offer, you're confused at best and irked at worst. You know he needs to find a place soon and it’s starting to feel like you’ve shown him every apartment in Buffalo and its surrounding towns. You try to take it in stride, but it’s been two solid months of multiple showings every weekend and you just want a break from it.

The rational side of you also knows that it isn’t Jeff’s fault. It’s a very important purchase and you don’t want to rush him into something just because you want a lazy weekend, but you're still a little disappointed. Jeff drove to all of the listings, “to give you a break,” he had said. He even showed up with coffee and croissants to hold you over until you go to lunch- so you’re annoyed with yourself for being cranky when he’s been so lovely.

_______

You’re clearly doing a good job of hiding your disappointment, so he pulls up to the waffle house all smiles, the dimple on his right cheek digging straight into your heart, and you feel bad for ever being vexed with him. He hops out of the car and walks up to the door and even holds it open for you, holding 2 fingers up to the hostess.

Sitting in the booth bolsters your mood, unused to waiting until after the showings to eat. It smells like heaven, and you look over the menu, already sticky with syrup. Jeff is his happy self, nudging your foot under the table to get your attention.

“What are you getting?” You look up from the menu at Jeff's rosy face and shrug. You love that he's always blushing. He's never really shy with his emotions because he's so easy to read anyway. It seems like a freeing way to live.

“I'm not sure, there's a lot of options. Banana chocolate chip? Red velvet? What are you getting?” You take the time to nudge his foot back.

He confidently closes his menu, “Cinnamon roll, for sure. With bacon.”

You close your menu at the sight of the waitress approaching, “Okay then, red velvet it is. But I'm trying some of yours, too.” Jeff says 'obviously,’ like it's something that you guys always do, and isn't pushing the lines of a realtor/client relationship.

After you place your orders and the waitress returns with a carafe of coffee for you to split, you feel a happy warmth settle from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. You take turns sharing the creamer and sit in a companionable silence before Jeff starts in.

“I’m so nervous for this season,” he stirs his coffee with a spoon distractedly, you see your opening to bring up his living situation, but he continues before you can interject. “D’you think you’d like to come to the opener?”

He sips his coffee with his eyes closed, and you wish you could make eye-contact with him. “Yeah, sounds like fun. I’ll make myself available.” His eyes open at that and he flushes from his neck up to his forehead.

“Did you think I’d say no or something,” he opens his mouth to answer you, but the waitress sets your plates down in between you so he stops. As soon as she walks away you lean over and steal a piece of bacon from Jeff’s plate.

He smiles and it’s wide and bright and beautiful, and as always- punctuated by a deep dimple. He won’t meet your eyes and spends way too long cutting into his fluffy waffles and dousing them with syrup that is surely not trainer approved, “Yeah, something like that.”

You’re halfway through your own plate, starting to get full and sated, when it starts to make sense, you’re spending every week together, bonding over movies and restaurant recommendations. You’re probably the person he’s spent the most time with since his big move. Jeff’s still plowing away through his own plate though, so you try your hand at subtly broaching the issue on your mind.

“Jeff,” he looks up mid-bite. “You know we’re like, kinda friends now right.” He looks like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t and he flames up again immediately.

“Are we?” You nod and stuff another bite of waffle into your mouth to keep yourself from smiling at his embarrassment. He draws in close to you, leaning over his plate.

“If put in an offer on the one with the terrace off the bedroom will you still hang out with me on weekends?” You perk up and lean back against the booth laughing at how dumb he is, nodding and trying to catch your breath.

“Yes you dope!” You have another bite on its way to your mouth when another piece of the puzzle clicks together. The waffle drops off of your fork as you try to control the volume of your voice, you want to yell but you manage to contain it down to a hiss, “Have you not been putting in offers on apartments because you have no better weekend plans, you jerk!?” He has a decency to look chagrined at being caught.

“I didn’t know if I was allowed to keep talking to you after I found something,” he sputters out, shrugging.

“You could have just asked. I haven’t had a day off in months!” You steal another piece of his bacon, you feel like you’ve earned it at this point.

“Are you showing anything tomorrow? We could go out,” Jeff’s fork makes its way onto your plate, you barely notice; did he just-? He’s on it before you can respond.

“I mean- shit.” He takes a deep breath before putting his fork down onto the table with a metallic clank, “Fuck it, yeah tomorrow. What are you doing, let me take you out?” He’s so far from smooth and it’s so endearing you can’t help but smile.

“I’m helping a client place a bid on an apartment. Really nice, eat-in-kitchen and a balcony off the master. Then I have a date, I think? Nice guy, kinda slow, but he’s cute. Lots of curb-appeal, if you catch my drift.”

Jeff’s smile is beatific, “You’re not so quick yourself, so it’s probably a perfect match.” You kick him under the table without malice, too wrapped up in the sugary sweet fullness from lunch and his warm gaze.

“I’m starting to think he’s a fixer-upper. Luckily I’ve got some time.”

#jeff skinner #jeff skinner fic #hockey fic #nhl fic #buffalo sabres fic #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #jeff skinner imagine #plus size hockey imagines #i have been working on this 5 EVER #writing

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not-a-space-alien · 6 years ago

Text

Into the Unknown, Part 8: Beneath A Purple Sky, or: Crowley’s Adventures in Wonderland

Series masterpost

On AO3

“Fuck! Shite! Fuck! Fuck!”

Anyone within a mile of Crowley would have been able to hear the stream of curses pouring from his mouth. But he was up in the stratosphere and plummeting like a comet, yelling into the empty sky.

He tumbled head over heels, utterly disoriented, his vision a blur. He burned all over.

He hadn’t burned like this since he Fell. He registered dimly it was the same pain as Falling, God’s presence burning you to Hell, the same pain as the time he had been in Heaven under the protection of angel dust that had rubbed off.

It was at this point that he made the connection that Falling hurt so much because you had just become a demon, but were still in Heaven and in contact with the Divine Aura until you nose-dived out of it into Hell.

And what he felt right now was a little like that, except God had been right there, and touching him at that.

Crowley had no idea how he had survived, or where he was at the moment. The stinging sensation of God’s holy aura had been overpowering for a single, terrifying, painful moment, then it had just…disappeared.

Maybe he was in the process of dying. Somebody, he hurt all over. It was fading, though, as he got further from the source. Or maybe as he just continued on with dying.

But no, that couldn’t be right, because he could still feel things. Over the dwindling stinging in his demonic core, he felt the wind rushing past him. He wasn’t Falling, just falling.

Priority number one was to stop this free-fall that had consumed him somehow. He could almost feel the atmosphere’s friction rubbing him like a comet at terminal velocity. His vision started to return, fading back in to show him a view of the earth spinning beneath his feet, a whir of land and trees alternating with a clear purple sky—

Wait, the sky was purple. Why was the sky purple?

Crowley phased his wings into existence and tried to snap them open, but they shrieked in pain as he moved them. He grit his teeth and steadied himself, splaying out like a skydiver.

A second glance confirmed that the sky was indeed purple. Despite the direness of the situation, Crowley couldn’t help but stare upwards at it for a few moments. His tie flapping up and hitting him in the face jarred his attention back to the situation.

Crowley tried easing his wings open slowly and had a bit more success. In the end, he was able to slow his fall enough to look at the ground below him and determine where he was.

Somebody, he was so high up. He had barely noticed the air was too thin to breathe. For a moment, he could’ve sworn he could see the curvature of the Earth. A huge carpet of rugged waves hurtled towards him as he fell, and he realised he needed to take evasive action or land in the ocean.

He didn’t know exactly where he was, but he was able to steer himself so he would land in what he thought was Great Britain, at least.

He landed heavily in a tangle of trees, snapping branches beneath him and thumping into a carpet of pine needles in the dirt.

He just lay there with his wings askew beneath him, spread out looking up at the sky.

It was purple?

Crowley groaned, feeling the aches from the descent racking his body on top of the burns the Divine Aura had inflicted. His hand worked its way down his shirt and unbuttoned it to assess the damage. There was a huge hand-print of red, blistered skin wrapped around his midsection where he had been grabbed, but other than that the damage seemed to be minimal.

Thank somebody. That could have ended very differently.

His fingers worked at a patch of raw skin on his face, and he miracled a burn salve into existence and applied it to himself.

“God,” he moaned. “Fuck. Damn.”

A winged figure flickered across the sky, too fast for him to see who it was. Crowley collected himself and managed to get to his feet, teetering over to a tree for support.

He was still trying to catch his breath when a strange little angel appeared in the tree above him. They had a spacey look in their eyes.

“Hello?” said Crowley.

WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? said the angel, cocking their head. STRANGE, STRANGE.

“Um,” said Crowley. “Space? Is that you?”

I SHOULD GO FIX THE HOLE, they said, then flitted away up into the sky.

Crowley plopped back down on the ground, exhaustedly putting his head to his knees. He ended up sitting there for a few minutes to gather up his will to move, then set off towards where London should be if his rudimentary navigation during free-fall had been accurate.

********************

Crowley healed some of his more debilitating injuries on his own, but to save his energy he left some of them for the more thorough recovery session he anticipated once he was reunited with Aziraphale, Maltha, and the rest.

Somebody, he hoped they had escaped from the Judgement Room alive. He had no idea what had happened. He had to get back to them ASAP. But going back up to Heaven was absolutely out of the question with how he had left it.

There should be somebody in London, he thought, if he could just meet up with someone to make contact, and he could decide where to go from there. Last he heard, Botis and Kyleth were still in the hotel across town. They might be his best bet. At the very least, Kyleth could peek her head into Heaven and see if it was safe.

Crowley stopped in the middle of this train of thought, legs dangling and hovering in the air. Surely this was where London was, right? He had been there millions of times. He had let his wings fly him there based on muscle memory.

Crowley had never gotten lost before, not in Great Britain, his home.

He flew up higher into the sky to orient himself to try and counter his sinking stomach. Had he hurt his head somehow?

The M25 was gone. London wasn’t where it was supposed to be. And was Mayfair…in Ireland?

Crowley shook his head, but he traced his path around the bodies of water and confirmed that, yes, this big ol’ island under him was indeed the UK. Frustrated, Crowley swooped lower over a large city, scanning it for familiar landmarks.

Okay, there was Big Ben. That was a start. Crowley alighted on the hour hand of the clock, the machinations of the clockwork rumbling behind him.

Wait, what did the clock say? He turned back to look at it.

Big Ben only had six numbers on it. One through six, spread out evenly over the face as though it constituted a whole day. And in Arabic numerals, not roman. Also, the clock face was a completely different colour. Also, it wasn’t Big Ben at all, just some other iconic clock tower soaring above the city heights, some new and completely foreign clock tower Crowley had never seen in the hundreds of years he had lived in Great Britain. He stared at it, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

The bell rumbled, and Crowley leapt off before the hour hand turned and the bell deafened him.

“Okay,” said Crowley, wringing his hands. “I must have hit my head a bit in the fall. No matter. Should clear up soon.”

That purple sky felt all too real, though. He felt like he just needed one thing to orient himself. If he could just find Aziraphale….or anyone.

Crowley rubbed the silver ring on his finger, trying to activate the charm. It stayed unlit.

He frowned. When had he used it last? Surely it had been longer than 12 hours by now?

Crowley pushed down the pit in his stomach, swooping down to what he thought might be familiar territory. He drifted for a while up in the stratosphere, shading his eyes with his hands and peering down below.

There, a patch of green nestled among the grid-work of the city. It looked weirdly like St. James’s park, considering it definitely wasn’t. And there, oh sweet someone, sitting on a bench by the pond—

Aziraphale. Crowley dove straight towards him like a parched man after water.

The angel’s attention pricked up as Crowley approached, folding in his wings and jogging over, panting. “Aziraphale! Thank f— Whew, I thought I would never find you.”

Aziraphale’s stare on him was hard. He hadn’t gotten up from the bench.

Crowley doubled over with his hands on his thighs. “Are you okay? Are Maltha and Noah okay? What happened?”

“You…” said Aziraphale. “You’re dead.”

Crowley straightened up. “Ah…Nope…Gotta say, Aziraphale, I expected a bit more of a warm welcome…”

Aziraphale stood up, eyeing him critically. “You’re dead. How are you…? I killed you.”

“A little concern? Anything? Wait, did you say you…?”

Aziraphale drew his sword. Crowley held his hands out and backed up. “W-wait, Aziraphale, it’s me. Crowley.” It was at this point that Crowley notice the gold ring, which he had so lovingly slid up the finger of Aziraphale’s sword hand, was nowhere to be seen on the hand gripping the weapon pointed at him.

“Stay right where you are,” said Aziraphale, bringing the point of his sword up into Crowley’s chest. Crowley held his hands up higher. “You won’t make any sudden movements if you value your life.”

Crowley’s despairing eyes swept up Aziraphale’s weapon into the angel’s face. “Angel, I…”

Aziraphale materialised a communication device of some sort; it looked rather like an ethereal flip phone, which he snapped open. “I need to speak to Azrael right away,” he said into it.

“Aziraphale, it’s me, Crowley.”

“I’m aware,” Aziraphale snapped. “My demonic nemesis I vanquished centuries ago, somehow come back from the dead to haunt me.”

“What?” said Crowley, his heart growing heavy and threatening to break.

“I’m sure the warrior on patrol heard the disturbance and is en route, so don’t think of trying anything. We’ll get to the bottom of this, serpent.”

A few humans had gathered nearby, gawking at Aziraphale’s weapon. Aziraphale dispelled them with a miracle-laden suggestion they head home and forget what they had seen.

“Can—Can I talk to—” Crowley swallowed. Something was terribly wrong. Aziraphale was acting like a proper angelic asshole. Who would Crowley have a chance of getting to who might help? “Can you call Raphael on that thing? Or Victoria?”

Aziraphale glowered at him.

“Anyone? Any archangel?”

“Archangel?” said Aziraphale.

“Yes, archangel?” said Crowley.

They stared each other down. Had Crowley been a cat, his tail would have been floofed out.

“Ah, here comes my backup,” said Aziraphale with a smug smile, and a pair of wingbeats sounded nearby. “Looks like Hastaphael is on this route today.”

“…Who?”

Crowley nearly fainted when a second angel alighted by Aziraphale, likewise drawing his sword. The newcomer was an angelic warrior, but the face, the aura….

“Hastur?” said Crowley, absolutely floored. “Are you an angel?”

The warrior gave him an ugly sneer. “What are you talking about, demon?”

“He’s not making an ounce of sense,” said Aziraphale. “This is clearly an anomaly. We ought to take him to Gabriel.”

“Where’s his Eye of Satan?” said the angel with Hastur’s face.

Crowley yelped nervously as the warrior angel roughly grabbed him and pulled his collar down, exposing his bare neck, then twisted his wrists to perform the same inspection.

“It’s always on the wrist or the neck,” said Aziraphale.

“I know,” the warrior growled. “He dunt got one.”

“It was on his neck before.”

Crowley tried to lean away from the grabbing hands, but the warrior clamped a hand on his jaw and tilted Crowley’s head to peer at the other side of his neck.

“I think there’s been some kind of misunderstanding,” said Crowley, voice muffled underneath the warrior’s hand.

“Doesn’t matter,” said the warrior. “Only good demon is a dead demon. Let’s run him through.”

“We should take him to Gabriel,” Aziraphale said.

“What for?”

“I don’t know,” Aziraphale snapped. “This is clearly an anomaly, though!”

“We can file a report after we—huh?”

Another pair of wingbeats approached.

“He’s got backup,” the warrior growled, shoving Crowley away and raising his sword to the sky.

“I-I do?” said Crowley.

Crowley let out a grunt of surprise as Aziraphale tackled him, pinning him to the ground. “Don’t think about going anywhere,” Aziraphale said.

A circle of grass nearby wilted and burnt with a sizzling sound, and a demonic warrior leapt out. His wings flared as he barreled onto the scene, shouting and sword drawn back for a blow.

“Botis?” said Crowley.

“Unhand him!” Botis shouted, flapping his wings. “Or face a solid pounding.”

The angel called Hastaphael waved at Aziraphale in a dismissive way. “Run him through.”

Crowley let out an eep and rolled out from under Aziraphale as Aziraphale retrieved his sword, still seeming conflicted. Crowley hit a pair of armored legs and peered up to see Botis’s ugly but familiar visage sneering at him. “Get out of here; I’ll find you later.”

That was all the permission Crowley needed; he leapt to his feet and sprinted away. Botis seemed to be immensely enjoying the fight as his sword clanged loudly, audible even as Crowley lost sight of the park and was swallowed up by the streets of Not-London.

***********************

So, this was some sort of alternate timeline. That was the only explanation for everything he had seen.

Crowley had no idea where—or when?—he was, what this strange place was, but clearly he was not in his own time and place. The landscape was different, and none of his friends recognised him.

And based on Aziraphale’s reaction, it sounded like Crowley had existed in this place, except Aziraphale had killed him a while back, and therefore his appearance had been interpreted as an unexplained miraculous resurrection, the same kind they had just been working to solve when he had been thrown out of Heaven.

Had he time-travelled somehow? Well, it couldn’t have been backwards, because the city had been modernised. He had seen people with mobile phones on his mad dash out—Not any brands he recognised, though. He had seen someone with what appeared to be an iPhone, but when he doubled back to look at it again, the icon on the back of the device had turned out to be a pineapple and not the signature apple with a bite out of it.

He had been responsible for that particular bit of iconography and he was curiously sad to see it go.

Surely he couldn’t have gone forward in time, either. There would have had to be some serious changes in the intervening years for Aziraphale to hate Crowley enough to kill him, but accept Hastur, who was, oh yeah, still an angel here somehow.

If it wasn’t back or forwards, had he gone….sideways?

Damn. What was so different about this place that not only did Aziraphale and Crowley not get along, but hated each other so much they actually killed one another? Aziraphale and Crowley had never even made a habit of discorporating each other, let alone going at each other with holy water and aural weapons.

Crowley found it disturbing in the highest degree. Clearly whatever God had done to him, he had been transported to some place where the capital W-War was still on. And in a heightened state at that, if warriors were patrolling and appearing at field agents’ sides in seconds.

Crowley had never been defended by a demonic warrior before the ineffable plan had been turned on its head six-thousand years in. Demonic warriors were there to have a go at angelic warriors, and angelic warriors were there to keep demonic warriors from having a go at angels that were not warriors and therefore not very good at defending themselves. The angelic warriors mostly did their job by sitting around and making their presence clear as a deterrent, and not much else.

And they had just appeared to interfere with a quarrel between two field agents seconds after it broke out…?

Crowley had sprinted away from Botis, Hastaphael, and Aziraphale until he was too far away to feel their auras. Then he kept going for good measure, sure that if Botis wanted to find him again he would manage to somehow, considering he had no idea how Botis had found him in the first place.

He legged it out of this strange city that wasn’t London, not stopping until he was back in the forest, because the city unnerved him.

Panting heavily, Crowley leaned against a tree and dropped down. He curled around himself.

This sucked, plain and simple. He had thought God was going to kill him, but He had done something else different entirely, and he couldn’t figure out what. Seeing Aziraphale want to kill him was worse, almost. He didn’t like this one bit. He hated it.

Where was his Aziraphale? That must have been a different Aziraphale. Somehow. And how was Botis here, but not Maltha? Or any other of his friends?

Well, Botis’s loyalty must just be a constant no matter the universe.

He still ached from the wounds he hadn’t healed earlier. He materialised his staff and started giving them some attention, but he was interrupted by the sound of wings drawing near.

Crowley stood up and stretched his legs as Botis touched down, sheathed sword jangling against his heavy armor. “There you are. Are you hurt?”

“A little,” said Crowley. “But it’s not—”

He was cut off as Botis seized his arm, inspecting him. “Hmm….These look like holy water burns,” said Botis, with a critical eye on the injuries he had been tending. “You really need to be more careful. If you just followed SOP for interacting with angels in the field, we wouldn’t be in this situation. The rules are there for a reason. What were you even trying to do?”

“To do?”

“Yeah, lollygagging around in that park with an angel nearby.”

“I was—I was trying to talk to Aziraphale.”

“Talk to him?”

“Y—Yes? Botis, what’s going on?”

“What’s going on?” Botis echoed dimly. He still had a hand on Crowley, and he began to sort of pat him down. “Where’s your Eye of Satan?”

“Okay, what is that?”

Botis twisted Crowley’s wrists and examined his neck the same way the angels had.

“Please fill me in,” said Crowley. “I feel so lost right now.”

Botis blinked at him.

“Eye of Satan?”

Botis held his right hand out, wrist-up. A tattoo of an eye stared back at Crowley, nestled among a lace of occult sigils.

“O—oh,” said Crowley. “And that’s…?”

The ink on Botis’s skin writhed and pulsed. The eye blinked and the pupil darted up to look at Crowley.

“Ah!” said Crowley, taking a step back.

“Botis, what’s going on?” said a disembodied voice, and the eye blinked again. “Who is that?”

“Demon I had to rescue from angelic warriors,” said Botis. “He doesn’t have an Eye.”

“What?”

Botis’s gaze moved from the tattoo back up to Crowley, mustache bristling. “Wrists and neck are both blank. Unless you authorised him to have it somewhere else?”

“No,” said the voice. “Bring him down as soon as you can so we can fix this. What class is he?”

Crowley wrung his hands and stepped in, determined to take back some modicum of control over the situation. “Field agent,” he reported.

Botis glared at him and said in a strained whisper, “Don’t be stupid.” Then he looked back down at the tattoo, the pupil of which darted back and forth between the two of them as they talked. “He’s a healer.”

“If he’s injured take him to field encampment 27, then bring him down to speak with me,” said the voice.

“Yes, Lord.”

The tattoo fell still.

“What—What the fuck was that?” said Crowley.

“That was our Lord Satan, and you forget yourself,” said Botis. “Show some respect.”

Crowley felt dismay weighing down his heart. “Oh. Of course. I-I haven’t done anything, though. Surely Satan is too busy to pay any attention to little old me.”

“Lord Satan always makes time to pay attention to details,” said Botis. “Now, follow me.”

Now that was something Crowley hadn’t thought he would ever hear a demon say. Satan was usually rather lackadaisical about the details—it’s why Crowley was able to get away with not actually doing his job. Satan paying attention to you wasn’t a good sign.

“But, look, I haven’t done anything wrong,” said Crowley, trying painfully hard to keep the whimper out of his voice.

Botis looked at him strangely. “I never said you did anything wrong.”

“Then why am I being…?”

“Punished?” said Botis. “Nobody said you were being punished. We merely need to present ourselves to Satan to correct an anomaly.”

The idea that you would be summoned to speak to Satan for any reason other than if you had done something to piss him off, and therefore were in for a bad time, was utterly foreign to Crowley. He was having a very hard time wrapping his brain around it.

“What does Satan want to…?”

“We need to get you treated first, at any rate,” said Botis. “We can’t have you walking about with burns like that.”

And treating injured demons in the field…? Part of the entire reason why Hell was shite was because there weren’t any healers, and if you got hurt you just needed to deal with it yourself.

“What’s wrong?” said Botis. “You seem confused.”

“Uh,” said Crowley. “I—Uh, um…We’re going to field encampment…?”

“Twenty-seven, yes. It’s over in this direction.” Botis steered him by the arm. “Come on, then.”

“Oh—Okay. Um, hey Botis? Thanks.”

Botis turned back and eyed him strangely.

“For saving me back there? They were going to kill me.”

“Just doing my job. You can trust me to do my job,” said Botis. “After all, it’d be a funny old world if demons went around not trusting each other.”

******************

Crowley picked up rather quickly that this wasn’t his Botis, much to his disappointment. Gone were the “sirs” and protective exclamations about Crowley’s safety and basically everything that had made Botis nice to have around.

It was the same way that Aziraphale hadn’t been his Aziraphale. He had no idea what that meant, the full extent of what was going on, but he was reasonably smart and able to tell that something was terribly amiss.

His earlier thoughts about being transposed in time or thrown into a parallel dimension had been half in jest, but he had no way of knowing how close he was to the truth.

Botis led him to a field encampment. He didn’t like this version of Botis very much, so he was relieved at the thought that maybe Botis would leave him alone here.

The camp was hidden by a protective miracle to keep humans from stumbling into it—it appeared to be nestled in a fold of space-time that a simple teleportation miracle would straighten out. There was a fence made of wooden slats, tents, a gate—the whole nine yards. It looked remarkably like one of the angelic field camps that would occasionally be positioned in Heaven’s territory on Earth. It was bigger, though.

And did they say this one was number twenty-seven? Heaven probably had only a dozen or so of them scattered about the globe. There wasn’t generally much need for them.

Botis escorted him via an overly firm grip on his arm to a tent with an icon of a green staff on it. When he pulled the curtain aside to enter, Crowley saw the interior of the tent was dominated by medical cots and demons dressed in scrubs running about madly like ants.

Crowley’s eyes widened. “Botis, is this…?”

“The infirmary, yes,” said Botis, trying to flag someone down.

“These are all infernal healers?”

“Yes,” said Botis distractedly. “Ramikale, I need to speak with you.”

Crowley was too overwhelmed to take note of to whom Botis was motioning. There had to be at least half a dozen demonic healers in here. Real healers, who were created as healing class, and fell as healing class. He could tell just by looking at them and feeling their auras.

“Botis, who are these demons?” said Crowley, but Botis ignored him, as he had finally caught the attention of one of the medical demons.

Crowley was shocked when she pulled down the mask on her face, revealing the familiar visage of his friend Ramial, except her eyes glowed an infernal red. She had the same eye tattoo as Botis, but it was on her neck. “What is it now, Botis?”

“I found this demon wandering about,” said Botis. “He has no Eye—”

“No Eye? That’s an anomaly. Satan won’t be happy.”

“I know, so I’m taking him down to Hell, but first we need to treat his injuries. If it’d be possible to put him at the front of the queue, that would expedite things for Lord Satan.”

“Sure.” The healing demon hovered over Crowley as Botis spoke, pecking at him with a trained eye. “Holy water burns, it looks like.”

“Ramial?” said Crowley. “Did you…?”

The healing demon gave him an annoyed look. “Did you get into a fight?”

“Yeah,” said Botis. “I caught him walking right up to a principality as though he wanted afternoon tea with ‘im.”

“You know very well you’re not supposed to engage angels directly,” said the healing demon. “What did you hope to accomplish?”

“I was…” said Crowley, floundering. “Ah…Just trying to talk to him. What’s wrong with that? Are you....Rami...”

Botis leaned in to whisper, “I don’t think he’s well, you know, mentally.” The volume was enough for Crowley to hear if he hadn’t been so stunned. Instead, he reached out a hand to stroke the medical demon’s cheek, thereby confirming Botis’s proclamation in the minds of everyone observing.

Botis left the tent, abandoning Crowley to the clutches of the healers, two more of which had come and started grabbing at him. They all had the same eye tattoo on their necks, and the pupils thereof would occasionally flare to life and rove about before falling inanimate again as the nurses conducted their inspection of him.

“Very intense burns,” one noted, their voiced tinged with clinical, impersonal interest. The three of them corralled him into a medical cot, and he lay on it uneasily.

“Must have been a direct hit,” said the other newcomer.

“Interesting shape the wound has taken,” said the original healer, stripping Crowley’s shirt off. “Almost like a hand-print.”

This was enough to snap Crowley back into reality. Should he try and hide the source of the wound? Even if he told them, he wasn’t sure if they would believe him, especially since they were already convinced he was daft.

Did any of these demons know it was possible to get into Heaven? Did any of them know about—Well, whatever phenomenon could have possibly shafted him into a place like this…?

His thoughts went back to the little angel he had seen upon first coming here. They had mentioned something about a hole. An entrance Crowley had come through, perhaps? Maybe he should try and find that place again, to see if there was any way of going back.

Back from where, he had no idea, though.

But part of Crowley wondered if he should be so quick to try and leave. He was surrounded by infernal healers. These demons were equipped to understand him in a way even Aziraphale wasn’t. Even Maltha.

“How did you get this wound?” said one of the healers, yanking his attention back to the situation at hand.

He looked at their cotton-clad face, mind drowning in so many layers of static he had no idea what to say.

“Was it holy water?” said a second, with an expectant look.

Crowley stuttered, then nodded.

“Told you,” said one.

“Hey…” he said as they began treating his wounds. “You guys…how did you fall? All three of you? How many more of you are there?”

One of them gave him a dirty look. The second simply shot up his eyebrows. The third tutted and patted his head, assuring him they would treat his head injury as well.

Try as he might to connect with them, they treated him as a stranger, even the demon wearing Ramial’s face and aura. Eventually he gave up and fell silent under their hands whizzing here and there and their chatter, speaking rapidly and efficiently at each other in a way only beings who have worked together seamlessly for thousands of years could accomplish.

They were faster than any healer he had ever seen. They were faster, and better, than even Raphael. Than Maltha. And they had nowhere near the aural power of an archangel or archdemon.

He was on his feet again being shoved towards the exit of the tent in a matter of minutes. He picked idly at the white cloth wrapping his wounds, trying to take it all in.

“Botis, we’re finished!” one of the healers hollered, disappearing back into the sea of beds and injured demons. “He’s yours again.”

A shadow fell over Crowley, and he looked up from his bandages. Botis was in front of him again. “Now we shall go see our Lord Satan. She’ll make sense of this.”

“Botis, I was thinking, before that maybe we—Wait, did you say she?”

“Of course. Hell has always had a queen.”

Relief flooded Crowley. The most likely candidate for Queen of Hell would, of course, be Maltha.

“You hit your head pretty hard, haven’t you?” said Botis.

“What’s the Queen’s name?”

“Satan, of course.”

“No, I mean—” He broke off and took a breath. The realisation was dawning on him that Maltha might not be the same. It wouldn’t be his Maltha. And it might not be Maltha at all. If Ramial had fallen and Hastur hadn’t, who knew what side everyone was on in this place?

What side. He hated the thought. Two sides again. He resolved to get out of here as soon as he could, his earlier waffling completely abandoned. “Botis, before we go down to Hell, let’s make a stop back to…”

He paused with horror, realising he wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to locate his point of entry again. He’d thought it had been somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, but…

Botis tapped his foot impatiently. “Back to where?”

Botis’s eye tattoo flared to life again, and the same voice from earlier snapped out, “Back to nowhere. You’ll bring him down immediately as I commanded, Botis.”

“Yes, my Lord,” said Botis. “I apologise.”

The tattoo became inanimate again. Botis reached out and seized Crowley’s arm from where he had crept back away from the strange talking tattoo. “Come on. I’m sure this won’t take long. Our Lord Satan is very efficient.”

Crowley grimaced at the thought, but he saw Botis’s hand resting on his sword hilt. Surely Botis wouldn’t cut him down if he tried to run…? But they all seemed dead set on having him meet Satan.

He squared his shoulders. Well, he’d changed since the last time he’d seen Satan. He’d faced Satan down and won. And he’d probably be seeing Satan eventually one way or the other, so it’d probably be best to face it head-on. He was already scheming his best schemes.

#good omens #my writing #my good omens fanfic

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callioope · 6 years ago

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Another two months, it must be time for me to do an Iceberg post again. Yeah, I’m still here. Haven’t really made much progress, but still here. (Wedding planning is rough, and my wedding is in October. Literally only have 2 free weekends between now and then.)

Writing

Here are things I am currently working on, in order of priority:

1. Learning Curve | due ASAP, like, basically yesterday | current status:

Chapter 3: 10,160 words, with beta

Chapter 4: 1,298 words written, plot outline is complete

2. Rebelcaptain Food Travel AU - Turkey | due Nov 4 | current status: outline

3. How to Lose a Spy in 10 Days - sometime this coming winter

it’s very weird because this idea has been at the back of my mind since even before the Rom Com Challenge was started in June 2017 or whenever, but for some reason it’s proven very difficult for me to write. I guess it’s a little outside my comfort zone, which is a good thing but makes for slow going.

I do have a ton of other ideas that are sitting at the back of my mind that I want to work on. Maybe I’ll try to make moodboards or something first before committing to writing the actual story. Some of the ones I’m more excited about (which means, the ideas that distract me from brainstorming/plotting the ones listed above)

A Revel with Some Rebels - Luke/Bodhi meet cute fic inspired by ‘Helpless’ from Hamilton

Action Figure Prison Heist - when I opened my Elite Series action figures I photographed it like Jyn was breaking out of prison and rescuing Bodhi and Cassian. So I have all the pictures done, I just want to edit them and I have no idea what the best way is to present them. I took over 160 (some are different angles of the same shot so there will be some weeding)

You’ve Got Mail - in universe AU. Back in December an anon left me a very nice prompt which was to write an AU based on your go-to comfort movie. So I’m taking the general story of You’ve Got Mail and making it another Jyn-and-Cassian meet earlier kind of thing. Jyn runs her own rebel cell and Cassian, representing the Alliance, starts recruiting on the planet she’s holed up on. Also, somehow, they’ve been communicating anonymously (and knowingly as rebels, giving each other advice and so forth) but I haven’t really worked that part out yet.

But I have a list of over 30 ideas so who knows which particular one will strike my fancy whenever I have free time again.

What are your creative anxieties? And, more importantly for the purposes of this discussion, how do you cope with them?

(Apparently their are questions and challenges and prompts to these now -- which is super awesome -- but this is the first time I’m able to participate so cool.)

So. What are my anxieties? Ha. Everything. Probably. I’m a walking stressball of anxiety, just in general.

As far as writing goes, I’m constantly anxious of “is this a good way to phrase this? is it clear and understandable? does it flow well? is it a trope/cliche or is it unique and different?” I majored in Creative Writing so I am very particular about that, which means I’m the kind of writer that tries to edit as she goes, which impedes progress. Part of the reason this happens is because if I write something “incorrectly,” it might impact events later, particular with regards to a character’s internal logical reasoning.

To combat this, I try to plan and outline extensively before I begin writing, I daydream a lot. I’m always trying really hard to get into the habit of writing drafts first and editing later. Keyword, trying. It’s difficult. Productivity hours have, in the past, been super helpful for me when I give myself a word count target, because it limits my available time to edit. I haven’t done any of these in awhile but they were helpful when I was doing them.

I’ve written about this before, but I felt kind of guilty writing after my dog died. That honestly just took time to grieve and move forward, coping wise.

I have a lot of anxieties about posting, of course, because who doesn’t? I usually squeeze in an extra round of copyediting as I’m posting on AO3, then I hit that post button and flee. Close my browser. Do something else, do not look at tumblr or AO3 as much as possible.

Then I check in and feel really sad. Contemplate quitting the fandom in general. Don’t write for several weeks.

Eventually my imagination sets in again--when thinking about rebelcaptain and fandom doesn’t just immediately make me sad--and try to remind myself that the reason I write is because there’s a story inside me that needs an outlet, needs to escape my mind and exist somewhere on paper, even if it’s just for me to read and be like, oh yeah. This is fun. And try to remind myself that this fandom is small and shrinking and I don’t generally have the desire to write the fic that are popular/mainstream and writing the stories that compel me is just good practice. That as long as I’m writing something, that’s what matters. The end goal is really to keep me writing, to keep the muscle working, and ultimately find the inspiration to get back to my original works eventually, anyways.

Reading

So, I know I have not been super active in reading and commenting on fics this year. I have been commenting on every fic I have read, so if I haven’t commented, I haven’t read it. I don’t have much time and I squeeze reading in when I can.

I do have a vague list of fic that I’ve been meaning to read, it’s sort of loose depending on whether I feel I have time for one-shots or chapter fic. I’m making my way through it somewhat sporadically, when I have the time, which, I’m sorry, is unfortunately very limited at the moment.

Commenting/Tumblr Notes

I’m very behind on responding to comments on AO3 -- I don’t particularly even go on AO3 often tbh -- and also I think I have a few tumblr notes from last week to respond to. I wasn’t quite sure how because any kind of social interaction leaves me overthinking what I should say, but I have off tomorrow so I might try to respond to some things tomorrow. Anyways, point is, I see y’all who have interacted with me and I appreciate you reaching out, I’m just being an awkward turtle about what to say in response.

#rebelcaptain icebergs #my writing #wip #fic update

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xsparklingravenx · 7 years ago

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Shadow Mine 2

Title: Shadow Mine

Fandom: Detroit: Become Human

Characters: Hank, Connor, Gavin

Rating: T

Word Count: 4,008

Summary: When Connor returns to office to retrieve some files that might be relevant to the case, he finds himself dragged into something much bigger. With a cop dead and his android partner distraught, Connor will have to put all of his abilities to the test to figure out what happened, and work alongside some unsavoury company for the time being.

AO3

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10

Despite Connor’s newfound sense of free will, he still had difficulty staying away from the office. His constant desire to have a purpose, a mission to complete, drove him there at all hours looking for something to do, something to solve. And so, despite the fact that he didn’t want Hank anywhere near the case while he was healing, despite the fact that he didn’t think Hank should be doing any work at all, Connor still found himself at his own desk in the early morning, sorting through the files he was going to take back home.

He currently had two piles, one very big (irrelevant to the current case), and one very small (extremely relevant to the current case). It was difficult finding useful information, given that the case itself had been low priority in the first place. It hadn’t even come Connor and Hank’s way until that cashier had been shot and killed, and even after, there had been very little to find. Connor’s ability to reconstruct crime scenes hadn’t really helped them at all.

The fact that they’d found the abandoned lot where the two were hiding out had only been down to a stroke of luck. A nearby android working as a cleaner had seen the pair escape the scene, and when Connor asked him to share their memory, he’d seen their last movements, heard Whitfield and his partner discuss where to meet up. Hank wanted to do some digging, but it was starting to look like there might not be anything to dig through.

As he was checking through one of his files for things he might have missed, he sensed an unwelcome presence behind him. He knew exactly who it was. Connor had scanned the office when he’d come in, and there was only a single human in it right now who would intentionally give him grief. Detective Gavin Reed, the biggest bigot in the office, a man who Connor had had too many run ins with to ever really make peace.

No matter how Connor responded, it would irritate the other man. The fact that Gavin had even approached him meant that he’d done so with the intention to start something. With that in mind, Connor went through his options and decided on the best course of action.

He would utterly ignore him.

It was easy to tune out his presence. Connor only had so much processing power and he didn’t need to waste it on minor inconveniences. Gavin, however, didn’t seem content to be treated as a nuisance. He moved in front of Connor’s desk and slammed a hand down over the overflowing irrelevant pile, sending some of the files askew.

“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded.

“My work.” Connor replied, not bothering to look up. Everyone seemed to like asking him that question, but no one ever actually were satisfied with the answers he gave. Laying another file on top of Gavin’s hand, he said, “You’re in my way. If it isn’t too much trouble, would you mind moving?”

“In your—oh, that’s rich.” Gavin pulled his hand back. “Hank isn’t here, so how about you take whatever it is you’re doing and fuck off somewhere where you’re not annoying me.”

“I know Hank isn’t here.” Connor said, straightening the pile. “I’m collecting the relevant information to take back home. Now, if it isn’t too much of a bother for you, detective, maybe you could back off and leave me be.”

He did some quick calculations. The probability of Gavin pulling a gun on him was extremely low; doing something like that to an android was now very much illegal. However, the probability of Gavin outright decking him was starting to veer into warning territory. Connor knew he should defuse the situation, but he wanted to focus on his work instead of the ticking time bomb who was now stood in front of him.

“Oh, I get it.” Gavin said. “Still just a heartless piece of plastic, aren’t you? Your partner gets shot, and here you are, trying to drag the work home anyway? I thought there were supposed to be some kind of feeling in you things, but it’s all just bullshit. You haven’t changed at all.”

Connor’s hand stilled on the file he’d been looking through. The things Gavin said weren’t uncommon. It had been a mere two months since Markus had peacefully progressed his course through Detroit, and while public opinion had been high, that was just a fancy way of saying that a great deal of humans approved. The reality was very different. Change took time, and many were set in their ways. Derogatory comments came his way every day, that wasn’t a problem, Connor wasn’t so sensitive to let something like that affect him.

No, what hurt was the insinuation that he didn’t give a damn about what had happened to Hank. Because he did. He didn’t know how to properly convey it, but the feelings were there. Ever since he’d heard that first gunshot in the abandoned lot, there had been some kind of tightness to him that he hadn’t been able to get rid of. A kind of fear. Even before he’d gone deviant, there had been something to him that had made him prioritise his partner’s safety over his mission, whether that had lost him a suspect or gotten him killed. The thought that Hank had just been killed up on the second floor had nearly sent his systems into error, had nearly caused him to crash out entirely.

The truth was, at the bar last night, he’d lied. When Hank had asked him what he’d been thinking about, it hadn’t been the details of the case at all. Ever since the incident, he’d been repeating the memory over and over again, looking for the reason why he’d felt that way, reconstructing the ways he could have done things differently to have avoided the outcome.

“Shit, you having a BSOD in there?” Gavin said, leaning down into his face.

Connor was so close to head butting him. Instead, he forced a smile onto his face and said, “Detective. I destroyed my own programming to participate in a cause that I believed in. I broke into CyberLife, fought my way past armed humans, and converted an entire army of androids to our cause. I defied my creators and made a way for myself. If you think a few stray words crafted from hatred would be enough to crash my systems, I would say you think entirely too high of yourself. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m sure you have better things to do than bother a heartless piece of plastic, don’t you? I know you do. I’ve just scanned your desk and I see no less than five incomplete assignments waiting to be filled in.”

The probability of Gavin smashing his face in had swerved straight past the yellow warning levels and directly into red, danger imminent. Gavin grabbed him across the desk by his jacket—still his old RK800 one, he hadn’t seen the point in discarding it—and it was at that point Fowler threw open the door to his office and pointed directly at them.

“Connor! Detective Reed! What in God’s name are you doing?” he snapped. Gavin let go of Connor harshly, and Connor readjusted his tie in response. It was a shame, he thought, that he didn’t have a title or a surname to compare against Gavin’s. His given name seemed annoyingly small when said next to Detective Reed. “Fucking around when shit’s getting serious, what the hell are you thinking? Both of you, my office, right now!”

He vanished back into the office. “What is this, fucking high school?” Gavin seethed under his breath.

Connor shrugged. “Though I have no personal experience with a school setting, with the playground fighting going around, I don’t believe it would be an entirely inaccurate summary of this precinct.”

“Do me a favour and run some programme that will make you shut up.” Gavin said. With that, he stalked into Fowler’s office. Connor finished stacking his files and followed him in.

“Nice of you two to get your heads out of your asses and join me.” the Captain said, sat at his desk. He looked at the two of them grimly. Gavin pointedly stood as far away from Connor as he could get. “Look, I’ll make this short because I need someone I trust on the scene, but it’s fucked up. Glennister’s dead. We just got a call, was shot about forty-five minutes ago.”

Gavin exhaled deeply. Glennister was only a vaguely familiar name to Connor, but it seemed to have some affect on the other man. “Shit. This is for real?”

Connor checked his database for Glennister and found him quickly. Steven Glennister was his full name, a detective who had attended the academy alongside Gavin. Born 2002, 6’0 ft, 185lbs. Had been assigned to a partner android a year and a half ago, PC200 Clara, and they had remained together even after the events in November.

“What do we know about the situation?” Connor asked.

Fowler ran a hand over his face. Connor could see his stress levels in his vision, markedly high, and decided to keep an eye on them in the background. “Not a lot. Glennister was responding to a report of gunshots in the city when it happened. Forensics are setting up now, but as you might have guessed, this is serious. I’m gonna need all hands on deck. Didn’t know you’d be around today, Connor, but now you are, accompany Reed to the scene ASAP and see what you can find. I need this investigation to move fast.”

Connor was starting to regret antagonising Gavin. If he was going to have to share a car with him, it would be beneficial to everyone involved if Gavin wasn’t about to punch him in the face.

“Are you fucking for real?” Gavin snapped. “I’m not working with this plastic asshole.”

“Oh don’t go giving me shit, Detective. I don’t care what your personal feelings are. If Anderson can learn to get on with the android, so can you.”

“But it’s—”

“A cop is dead and I need to find out who killed him. I don’t have time to listen to you bitching at me, Reed! Now get the hell out of my office and do your job instead of standing there like a fucking toddler who doesn’t know how to play nice, you hear me?”

Gavin heard, alright. He stormed out, his face like fire, and Connor felt like he’d witnessed this exact scene before. Because of that, he decided not to engage with the Captain at all, and instead followed Gavin out back into the office.

“Don’t worry,” Connor said as Gavin turned and opened his mouth to speak. “I’m actually on your side about all of this. I don’t particularly want to work with you either.”

Gavin scowled. “Great.” he muttered. “Finally, something we both have in common.”

The drive out was an awkward, silent affair that had Connor staring out of the window while Gavin kept his eyes firmly on the road. He’d said quite firmly before they’d set off that he didn’t want an android anywhere near the steering wheel, and Connor had been content to let him have his way. Gavin’s anger levels were too high for any argument to successfully gain him control of the car, and it wasn’t like Connor wanted to drive him around anyway.

That was the beauty of free will. He still remembered the time Gavin had ordered him to make a coffee only to leave Connor standing there, arm outstretched in offering, confused as to why Gavin would make such a request only to make a mockery of him. It was a sore spot, and one Connor would much rather forget.

When they pulled up to the crime scene, cordoned off with holographic tape, Connor abandoned Gavin immediately to begin his own analysis. The crime had taken place in an alleyway behind a Cyberlife store, Glennister slumped against the wall, his blood coating the floor beneath him. Clara, the android, sat behind the yellow tape on a bench, a blanket around her shoulders as another android checked her over. Connor wondered who put the blanket on her—it wasn’t something that would help an android get through ‘shock’. It was a very human gesture.

Keeping the location of Clara in mind, Connor turned back to Glennister. It would be better to collect the facts first, and then gather the emotional evidence afterwards. That way, he could piece together the scene objectively, and then add in the secondary aspects when he was done.

He scanned Glennister first. Cause of death was clear instantly: exsanguination. The man had bled out as a result of three gunshot wounds, one to the upper right leg and two to the chest. The gunshot to the leg suggested that he’d been shot from behind, but the two in the chest had come from the front. In his hand was his own gun, and it had been discharged once. Connor began to reconstruct the scene, playing with the models of Glennister and the assailant to see which paths they’d taken.

Glennister had responded to a report of gunshots. He’d entered the alleyway, his gun drawn, but apparently hadn’t seen anything immediately. The first bullet came from behind, so he started looking for potential hiding places. There was a dumpster to Connor’s right. It fit the trajectory he was looking for. Had they hidden inside? No. Would have made too much noise opening the lid to leave. The assailant may have hidden behind the dumpster instead.

He moved the model from out behind it. It would have had to have been quick to avoid detection, but also steady enough to make its shot. He adjusted its speed and then reconstructed the first shot. Glennister went down on one knee immediately in response, and the assailant moved around to his front. Glennister raised his gun and shot.

Now Connor had to make some choices. Did Glennister’s bullet hit home, or did it miss? They were close enough to each other than it would be unlikely for a trained officer to miss, but he was also in pain and possibly panicking. He looked for marks on the walls. Nothing that he could see. Bullet might have hit target. Where? He didn’t have enough data. Couldn’t know for sure.

Assailant shot back. First shot hit the upper chest, near the centre. Massive damage to the chest wall and the surrounding blood vessels. It knocked Glennister back and to the side, near the wall Connor had found again. He tried to use the same wall as leverage, to get back up. Fought back? No. Didn’t get the chance. The assailant shot once more, abdomen this time. Glennister died where he fell.

Why did it seem so clinical? There was something about the entire reconstruction that felt like it had a plan to it. If the assailant had been hidden, why hadn’t they shot to kill immediately?

If the assailant had been hit, there had to be evidence of it, blood, something that proved they had been shot. Connor scanned the area again, looking for any kind of sign that backed up his theory. Nothing in the immediate scope of the alleyway. He moved down it, glancing behind bins, checking the walls.

It was at the alleyway’s end that he finally found something. Another dumpster, this one askew, suggesting someone had shoved it out of the way quickly. There was a human sized space behind it. He already knew his suspect had used one to hide behind at the other end, so perhaps they had come here after the crime. Hiding from Clara? That had to be it. Kneeling down in the small space, he scanned it.

Sparse amounts of thirium dotted the floor.

It had already become invisible to the human eye, but Connor could see it plain as day. There was so little that he didn’t know if he’d be able to get a decent sample, but he tried regardless. Touching his fingers to the blue blood, he brought them to his mouth, hoping he’d find a match.

To his surprise, he managed to get a model number from it. An AX400 had been here. He went back to his reconstruction, plotted out their path. Yes, it made sense. The shot from Glennister must have only grazed the android. They weren’t seriously wounded.

What business did an AX400 have in shooting a cop? He returned to where Clara was sat, and found Gavin talking with a nearby cop. As he approached, the conversation stopped abruptly. Gavin turned to him. “Find anything useful then?”

The words were fine. His tone was not. Connor knew that he should give away the assailant’s identity as an android, but he also knew that the information would only set Gavin off on another rant. His anger still registered as high on Connor’s scans. He’d give up the information after he was done with the scene. “Maybe. I need to confirm with Glennister’s partner before I make any solid judgement. Have you spoken to her?”

“Yeah, I tried. Not that it wants to give up anything about the damn situation. It’s meant to be a fucking cop and yet it won’t say a thing. Obstruction of justice if you ask me.”

“No one asked you, detective.” Connor said. “But now I know that you will offer your opinion regardless.”

“Alright, smartass. Keep that up, and Hank’ll be coming back to work to find a pile of parts on his desk.”

He wanted to inform Gavin that that was illegal, but was hitting warning territory again. He decided not to push it any further; he didn’t need to waste time on Gavin anyway. Instead of giving him a response, he turned and walked away, sitting down on the bench next to Clara.

She didn’t respond to his presence.

“Hi, Clara,” he said. “My name is Connor. I’m one of the detectives assigned to this case. Can you talk to me?”

The android looked at her hands. Her eyes were wet with artificial tears. It was a good thing Gavin hadn’t tried to engage with her; he would have only made it worse. “You were Steve’s partner, weren’t you?” Connor asked, switching to Glennister’s first name to try and engage an emotional connection with her. “Do you think you could tell me what happened?”

She just shook her head. Her jaw was stiff. Her LED pulsed yellow. “It hurts.” she said. Her voice wavered, and it sounded like her audio processor was damaged. It wasn’t, Connor knew. It was deviancy doing that to her voice. “I—I don’t understand this feeling. It’s so painful. We can’t feel pain. We can be shot or broken or damaged, and yet we don’t feel pain. It’s impossible, but right now, it feels like I’ve been torn apart.”

Connor’s memory pulled something up in response to her words, three days ago now, being in the abandoned lot, the gunfire and the way his systems had nearly crashed at the thought of Hank dead. He shook it off. “I understand. You’ve lost someone who you’d formed an attachment to. It is a human-like emotion. They call it grief.”

“It makes me want to be reset.” she whispered. “I don’t want to feel this way at all. I can’t function. I can’t.”

Connor had to choose his approach. Going in cold and apathetic might gain him information faster, but he doubted it would make Clara feel any better. He didn’t just have to prioritise his mission anymore. He could take care of the emotions of those around him. Warm and careful might take longer, but it was the option that Hank would approve of.

“I know it might be difficult, but I need to know what happened. Can you tell me what happened? About how you and Steve ended up here?”

Clara dashed her hand across her cheeks, trying to clear her tears. “It was…we heard about it over the radio, so we responded. When we got here, there was nothing. I said I would check the perimeter. Steve told me to be careful. He said…” she closed her eyes, pained. “He told me to call if anything happened.”

Connor nodded. “So he was a good partner. A good person.”

“He is.” Clara clenched her fists. “Was. He was. Even before everything last year, he always thought about me. Why did he have to die? It’s not fair. It isn’t fair!”

“It isn’t.” Connor agreed. “Which is why I need your help, to figure out who did it and stop this happening again. Can you tell me what happened in the alleyway?”

“He went down there and I—I heard gunshots.” Clara’s LED flashed red. She looked horrified as she relived her experiences. “It all happened so quickly. So quickly. When I reached the alleyway, I looked for the source but there was nobody. Nobody there. Just Steve, Steve was just slumped against the wall and I couldn’t. I couldn’t move.”

Connor was measuring her stress levels now, and they were rising rapidly. He needed to calm her, or else she might break down on him. “I found traces of another android behind the dumpster on the far end of the alleyway.” Connor told her. “Did you look around? Did you see anything?”

She shook her head. Clara’s eyes stared straight past him. “No. No. I just stood there. I saw Steve and I saw all the blood. I thought I had to save him, but when I got to him, he was already…he was already…I was too late. I couldn’t do a thing! The suspect got away? I let them run because I was too compromised? No, this can’t be happening. Steve can’t be dead!”

Her stress levels were in the red. Bad. Very bad. Connor needed to pull back from the questions, but he didn’t know what he could say to bring the levels back down. He started consulting his databases, looking for the best course of action.

Talk down?

No. Talking could make things worse. Too many outcomes that he couldn’t predict. He couldn’t have her self destruct on him.

Deploy deactivation code?

Absolutely not. Even it could work, which it wouldn’t, it was a drastic measure that would only hurt the situation more as a whole.

Soothe?

But how? He realised he didn’t know. He didn’t have the experience or the data to create a probability of the chance of success. He didn’t understand what Clara’s needs were or what she would react best to.

But then, in a flash of self realisation, he considered something. He was only trying to think about how to relax an android, not a human. He was dealing with a deviant. Someone who was a human in all but name. His approach was wrong.

He changed tact, started consulting his database again. How did humans comfort other humans? Physical touch. He found his memory, Hank pulling him into a hug at the fast-food stand, how it had made Connor feel wanted and at ease. He started calculating his probability of success.

It went up. And up. And up.

He reached for Clara and pulled her against his chest.

“It’s okay.” he said. Clara held onto him and cried into his shoulder. “Thank you for everything you’ve told me. I’m sorry for what you had to experience today, but I promise you, I will find out who did this and make sure they are brought to justice.

Distantly, he was aware of Gavin watching. Connor cared little for what he thought. He focused all of his processing power on Clara, holding on to her until her stress levels returned to normal. “Find them,” she said into his shoulder. “Please. For me.”

He would. “You have my word.”

#Detroit: Become Human #Connor (Detroit: Become Human)#Connor RK800 #DBH #My Writing #Chapter 2!!!!#shadow Mine

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luna-flow · 3 years ago

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I've been looking for a job for the past year with very little luck. The outcomes have not been in my favor. I literally applied to something two days ago and got an immediate rejection fewer then 24 hours later. I have tried everything. The project I was working on is going to end this week so I'm back at square one. I'm saying all of this because I try to follow manifestation and believing that things will work out. But it seems like I'm being told more and more that I shouldn't work, at least not in this field. I'm trying to be as positive as possible but it gets to you. It's hard not to think you aren't good at what you do when you are constantly told no. It's to the point where I just want a job to pay bills and I can't even get that. I'm trying to be calm and go with the flow but....nothing good happens. It's just the same thing every day or just rejection.

(cont) I know that wasn't a question, so I guess I was curious about what you do in those instances. When you feel like the world is telling you no. That you don't deserve what you want. That you're not good at what you are passionate about. What steps do you take?

Hello and thank you for reaching out! It’s quite a coincidence because I’ve just started finding jobs and going for interviews as well. I literally hate job interviews and job hunting because it genuinely makes me so depressed and stressed out. Anything you’re feeling and experiencing right now is completely valid and understandable, especially when you’re still finding your way through for past year.

Back to your question, if I’m in your shoes I would do and think the following:

1. Never stop looking for jobs, continue to mass apply. Continuing is the most tiring part but job hunting is a test of perseverance and luck, I don’t believe we will be unemployed forever if we continue searching. Apply to all sorts of jobs and cast a wider net, this is especially important because paying bills is of top priority right now. Apply through all sorts of job portals and websites!

2. Reach out to friends and family and ask for any leads or help, referrals have higher chances of getting hired.

3. Getting told no constantly doesn’t mean we’re not good enough, it’s just being unsuitable for the job. Why force ourselves to be in a job whereby the companies already deemed us unsuitable?

4. Set a certain time period of job application, after that time period we should just put it at the back of our heads and take care of ourselves since it’s so stressful. Eg. Allocate 10am - 5pm to apply for jobs

5. Revise resume, short and sweet is the best. 1 page is concise enough since many hirers don’t have the patience to read long resumes.

6. Unless I really really want to work in that field, I will genuinely consider everyone’s opinions/advices and be open-minded to other fields. Sometimes it isn’t about the field but timing and priorities as well.

Hope this helps! All the best!! May you manifest that job ASAP!!

#answered

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fuck-customers · 7 years ago

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this is so long i’m so sorry. i work for my uni’s ID card and ticketing office and bOY is it a fun time! its my fourth semester and i have lived through several hells, including:

1. the city’s high school doesn’t have a full football field, so they play on the uni’s campus, which means that we are required to ticket it. the tickets are like $8 or something and these parents come up with 100 dollar bills for like. maybe 2 tickets. for events i only start with $150 in fives and ones, i can’t break that until like an hour into selling lol use that twenty that i can see sticking out of ur wallet

2. there is this lady that runs a gymnastics program in our city and at the beginning of the year, they do a winter competition on campus. so, we ticket it. she is not a nice lady. the competition starts at 7:30 AM, so we have to get there and get ready to sell by 7 IN THE MORNING on a saturday, and have to be there all day until about 6 PM. the same on sunday. this wouldn’t be so bad if we could do our homework like we can at the office, but nope. we are expected to sit there and do nothing but sell. no eating, no homework, no books, no cell phones (the least unreasonable of us, to be fair). with mean and entitled dance parents all day for the whole weekend.

last year my manager for the event overslept and my coworker and i couldn’t get into the union to our office to get the key to the venue, so we ended up getting to the competition at 7:30 and then none of our tech was working, so we didn’t start selling until 7:45ish. this lady. she was PISSED. with reason, but she was still overbearing- “I want to speak to your supervisor. RIGHT. NOW.” this was as we got to the event, and there was a line LITERALLY out the door. we were trying to set up and get that line moving asap but she would not shut the fuck up. “GIVE ME YOUR SUPERVISOR’S NUMBER RIGHT. THIS. SECOND.” and we’re like “do you see this line? no? are you sure? you were just yelling at us about it five seconds ago” i don’t actually know how it got dealt with because i was literally in a nonstop selling zone for ten minutes in our cash-only and off-system hell (no internet, so no cards, and making tally marks to try and keep track of sales). we got that whole line that was probably well over 50 feet long through in under 10 minutes. this lady, after it had calmed down, had the gall to say “oh, i’m so surprised the line is already gone! you guys did so well!” when i heard we were selling it again this year i almost cried because we were told that we were not working for her again.

tl;dr we work a gymnastic event every jan/feb and the lady who runs it is generally very unreasonable and rude to us over things that aren’t necessarily in our control (i.e. the internet not working) and i wanted to cry knowing that we will continue to work for her

3. in late september/october, my uni does a family-centric weekend, which is a special kind of hell. this year we did commemorative cards instead of ticket stock for everything (which had its own plethora of problems). on these cards were lanyards- about ¾ths of the way through putting lanyards on all of these cards (THOUSANDS, mind you), we ran out of branded yellow ones and switched to some cheap black ones. no one really seemed to care except for this one FUCKING lady who came up to my window on the first day and was like, “i ordered my tickets for these events in June, I should have gotten the prettier lanyard.” like ma'am, we didn’t keep track of “who ordered when” with these, we just made sure you had all the tickets you purchased and made sure the barcodes weren’t fucked up. “we’re out, unfortunately. there wasn’t priority given to any, it was really just in alphabetical order.” “I don’t CARE, I want a nice lanyard!” like ok. we’re out. go buy one at the bookstore. she wouldn’t leave, so I ended up looking through our boxes and found some broken ones. i told her this and she tells me, an underpaid, clumsy, and (at the time) 19 year old, “can’t you fix one? I want a yellow lanyard.” my supervisor looked at me dead in the eyes and asked me to find the least broken one to try to fix and i almost quit bc i literally do not get paid enough to do this but i needed the money so i gritted my teeth and actually managed to find one that got misplaced.

tl;dr a lady demanded a lanyard because she was entitled as hell and my supervisor wouldn’t bail me out to make her leave

#submissions #fuck customers #cashier problems #fuck retail #submission

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yumeironogenesis · 6 years ago

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Alternative War Part 1: The Buddies’ Bonds

Part 2 | Part 3

My first translation! As would be usual, I took artistic liberties with this, but I made sure to keep the meaning as close to the jp text as possible! Everything is under the cut, including notes!

Morning, on the way to the theater

Subaru: Morning, Madoka!

Subaru quickly catches up and suddenly stops beside me, greeting me a good morning

Madoka: Why are you hurrying like that? It’s still a while before the meeting.

Subaru: I’m not in a hurry, I’m running to build up stamina. The next musical number is quite hard after all!

Subaru: One more round then I’m coming to the lesson room, ok?

Subaru smiles and waves his hand, then runs past me.

Madoka: Because Subaru-kun is the lead role, he’s more pumped up than usual… It is indeed a difficult number… I have to do my best too!

The next Yumeiro Company musical number, “Alternative War”, will be the company’s first Sci-Fi superhero number. Action scenes with laser guns and fireworks, psychic battles using projection mapping, and even battles utilizing wire action to further express the characters’ superhuman abilities. With these three possible battle scenes, teams of two buddies will fight, drawing out the strength of their bonds. It will be a challenge.

Kyoya: Everyone, gather up!

At Kyoya’s order, the atmosphere in the room quickly goes on edge.

Kyoya: It’s one month until opening day. That’s why today, I was thinking of doing a dress rehearsal.

Madoka: We have just barely practiced the buddy scenes in the story, will it be okay to do a dress rehearsal so suddenly?

When I see the looks on all 7 of their faces…

Kaito: Dress rehearsal? Just what I was waiting for, ‘cause I’ve perfectly memorized all the face-off scenes!

Iori: Kaito and I will be doing stunts using a lot of props. I’d like to do it just like it would be done on the stage.

Jin: We’ve also perfected our dance, right, Hina?

Hinata: I’m not confident everything will go according to my mental image, but I’ve nailed the dance!

Kyoya: Me and Subaru will also be doing the scenes with the wires. We’ll have to practice on a stage or we won’t get all the moves right for the performance…

Subaru: Leave it to me! I’ll just fire it up with as much vigor as a real performance!

Sousei: I have no actions scenes, so I mostly practiced alone. It has been a while, so I’m looking forward to joining you all.

Kyoya: Ok, so we’re starting at ten! Make sure to warm up and confirm your positions on stage!

Everyone: Yes!

--- And so, the dress rehearsal begins

The stage is set in a future city, Geoelectro City, where science and technology has greatly developed. The rate of criminal acts utilizing advanced technology is increasing. Protecting civilians from these acts are the heroes affiliated with the Crime Guard. The story starts with rookie hero, Jake a.k.a. Crimson Sun, played by Subaru, challenging his first mission. He teams up with his buddy, Silver Moon, played by Kyoya-kun. They are heroes with special powers that enhance their physical capabilities.

Kyoya: “What are you doing, Crimson Sun?! We should escape this place ASAP!”

Subaru: “B-but, Silver-san! My new power glove is still inside!”

Kyoya: “The safety of the civilians should be our priority! Our purpose as heroes is to protect the people, after all…!”

Hinata: “That’s true. But it’d better if he could punch stuff, right?”

Subaru: “You are…. Sunshine!”

Jin: “Your power glove is right here.”

Subaru: “Rain, too… W-when did you guys get here?”

Jin: “Did you forget? Me and Sunshine are psychokinesis users. Something of this size should be…”

Kyoya: “Easy to maneuver in the air, right? You saved us, I appreciate it.”

Mr. Sunshine, played by Hinata, and Mr. Rain, played by Jin-san, are buddies with psychic powers. And the last ones to appear are---

Iori: “With this, it should be over. There should be no reason to stay in the enemies’ territory. We should escape.”

Kaito: “Wait a sec! I’m leaving them a parting gift. Eat this…!!”

Kaito-san pulls the trigger of his huge bazooka---

BOOOOOM---!!

Kaito: “Heh! You should all plunge into the darkness. I’ll pull the trigger a billion times if it’s to annihilate enemies…!”

Iori: “That’s enough. Retreat!”

Madoka: *Cough cough*

Sousei: Madoka-san, are you ok?! *Cough* W-wait, stop! Turn on the ventilator!

The ventilator is turned up to maximum power and the smoke in the room finally cleared up.

Hinata: Wait, why are you using smoke in the lesson room?!

Kaito: Why, you ask? I thought you all said we’d do it just like on stage.

Iori: If by “just like on stage” you meant using smoke in such a small room, then of course this would happen.

Kaito: Geez….

Sousei: But, hey, we stopped at a good time.

Having not made his appearance the whole time, as Sousei said those words, the other 6 stopped and turned to look at him.

Sousei: Everyone, you did perfectly on the powerful action scenes. But you are sacrificing the details in the emotions.

Madoka: Yes…. The characters themselves are likable, but the expression of the buddies’ bonds could be a little more…

Kyoya: You’re right. This bothered me too when I was acting. If both you and Sousei say that, then it must be true.

Jin: If we can’t properly express the buddies’ bonds, then the climax’s impact will be halved.

When everyone is lost in doubt, Subaru quips on a whim.

Subaru: Um… We made that trailer for the web commercial, right?

Subaru: Let’s just leave the action scenes for a bit and watch the trailer to try to reconstruct our characters.

Kyoya: I see, going back to our roots, huh? That might be a good idea. Madoka, please give a commentary of the characters as the trailer plays.

Madoka: Understood!

Sousei: I set up the DVD. We can start anytime.

Kyoya: Got it… Alright everyone, gather up! Let’s review the story and the characters!

A new number that leaves Yumeiro Company with no effort to spare… Will they succeed in the end?---

To be continued....

Notes:

1) I really wanted to color code all their names but desktop tumblr doesn’t have that feature and mobile tumblr doesn’t have the colors I need so you’ll have to put up with bold for now :(

2) Also, Kaito, you dumbass slkdfjsjdf

3) Sousei being the token Intellectual Dad. He’s so good to his children.

4) If the dialogue feels more like a localization than a translation, then I’ve achieved my goal. I hope I managed to express the characters personalities’ through their speech!

Thank you for reading, I hope you had fun!

#yumecast #yumeiro cast #translation #e: alternative war

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lindafrancois · 4 years ago

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Get Your First Pull-up Or Chin-up! 30-Day Pull up Progression Plan

Pull-ups are my favorite exercise of all time.

But what if you can’t do a pull-up yet?

The answer: read this ultimate guide on getting your first pull–up ASAP!

We have helped hundreds of Online Coaching Clients get their first pull-up, and we’ll cover our exact strategies below!

We help people get their first pull-up, and we're really good at it. Learn more:

As part of our Strength Training 101 series, we give you an exact plan to follow leading you to your very first full pull-up:

Tips on how to start doing pull-ups.

Level 1 Pull-up Workout: Bent Over Dumbbell Rows

Level 2 Pull-up Workout: Inverted Bodyweight Rows

Level 3 Pull-up Workout: Assisted Pull-ups

Level 4 Pull-up Workout: Top Holds and Bar Hangs

Level 5 Pull-up Workout: Negative Pull-ups

Level 6: Doing Your First Pull-up or Chin-Up

Level 7: Advanced Pull-up Moves

If you can already do a pull-up (woot!), you might want to check out our article on proper pull-up form, although we’ll cover a lot of the same material here.

Let’s do this thang.

Tips on How to Start Doing Pull-Ups

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In the video above, Coach Jim walks you through the exact progression system we use with our coaching clients who want to get their first pull-up (or chin-up).

Before we get into exercises to progress into a pull-up, let’s chat about some general strategies.

Consider the following three points when attempting to get your first chin-up or pull-up:

#1) This should hopefully be obvious, but the more you weigh, the more you have to lift in order to complete a pull-up.

If you’re truly serious about completing a pull-up, start by getting your diet under control.

As we say here at Nerd Fitness, 80-90% of weight loss comes down to what you eat (#4 in the Rules of the Rebellion).

Here are some resources to help you with weight loss:

Tried to lose weight in the past without success? I hear you, weight loss is super tough. Learn why in our article “Why Can’t I Lose Weight?” for a deep dive into the subject. We also have the 5 Rules of Weight Loss to help you get going.

Not sure what a proper diet looks like? Check out our guide on healthy eating for a full lesson on nutrition.

Wondering if Paleo, Keto, or Veganism can help you with weight loss? They might. Read our guide on determining the perfect diet (for you).

In the above guides, you’ll find me stating that losing weight comes down to eating fewer calories than you burn. Not sure how many calories you need? Check out our guide on calculating your daily caloric requirements.

#2) MAKE YOUR “PULL” EXERCISES A PRIORITY. A lot of people do every other exercise before doing any back-related exercises, if they do any at all.

After warming up properly, your first exercise should always be the stuff that you want to work on the most – in this case, it’ll be your back muscles.

Until you get your first pull-up done, focus on the back exercises detailed in the levels and workouts in this guide.

#3) The progression we outline is a path that works for most people, but does NOT need to be followed to a T.

We give sample sets and reps and when to move up, but if you feel like you can progress sooner or want to try doing full pull-ups sooner than we recommend, that’s OKAY.

This is the slower progression method, where some people will want to do fewer reps and progress to the next levels sooner – that’s okay.

We recommend moving up to the next level when you can do 3 sets of 8 reps of a particular exercise. If you want the accelerated path, move on up as faster as you can do 3 sets of 5 reps. You do you boo.

Want someone to build you a custom made progression plan for doing your first pull-up? Our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program will do just that, plus your coach can review your movements through our app so you’ll know your training correctly and safely.

You’re not alone on this journey. Let our Online Coaches help you conquer your first pull-up!

Level 1 Pull-up Workout: Bent Over Dumbbell Rows

We’re going to start with bent-over dumbbell rows, the most basic of back exercises, in case you’re starting from ABSOLUTELY square one.

Level 1 Pull-up Workout:

Bent-over dumbbell rows: 8 reps each arm (or as many as you can do)

Rest for a 2-minute break

Do another set

Repeat until you hit 3 sets

What weight should you start out with initially?

Whatever allows you to get to at least 5 reps a set.

Once you can do 3 sets of 8 reps (each arm), it’s time to pick up a heavier dumbbell.

This will allow you to get stronger and stronger.

Make sure you give yourself at least 48 hours until you do the Level 1 Dumbbell Rows again, so you can include these dumbbell rows for your workouts on:

Monday

Wednesday

Friday

As soon as you can do 3 sets of 8 reps, it’s time to move up to a heavier dumbbell.

Once you can lift a 25-pound (10kg) dumbbell or heavier, consider moving up to the next level.

If you are a little bit bigger than the average bear, you might want to stick with this step until you lose a little bit more weight and get stronger – maybe go to 35 or 40-pound (18kg) dumbbells.

Want help designing your own workout routine? I’ve got two options for you.

The first is to head over to “Build Your Own Workout Routine” and get your hands dirty. Our guide will walk you through building a full-body exercise program in 10 simple steps.

The second is to have a Nerd Fitness Coach do all the heavy lifting for you (not really, you still have to lift stuff), by having them build you a tailor-made workout routine:

Click here to have a Nerd Fitness Coach build you a routine to start crushing pull-ups!

Level 2 Pull-Up Workout: Inverted Bodyweight Rows

Bodyweight rows are the PERFECT precursor to pull-ups – they work the same muscles, and have you lifting your own bodyweight, just at a different angle.

For this level, we’ll provide you with two options: You can also make adjustments.

OPTION A: IF YOU HAVE ACCESS TO A GYM OR WANT TO JOIN A GYM:

You can follow the rest of this workout as part of our 6-Level Gym workout guide, which will help you go from total gym newbie to pull-up progressing badass!

At your gym, find your Smith Machine and set the bar at about chest height.

A higher bar makes the exercise easier to start:

And as you get stronger, you can set the bar lower:

Here’s a whole post I did on inverted bodyweight rows.

Here’s how to do an inverted bodyweight row (here is a video demonstration with gymnastic rings, but you can start with a bar as displayed in the images below).

Set the bar at a height where it’s challenging for you to complete 3 sets of 8 reps with two minutes of rest between sets.

Clench your butt and keep your abs tight and body straight throughout the exercise.

Pull your shoulder blades down and back towards each other (like you’re trying to pinch a pencil between them behind your back).

Focus your mind on PULLING with your arms.

Pull until your chest touches the bar (not your neck).

As soon as you can complete all 3 sets of 8 reps, set the bar heigh lower to make the exercise more difficult.

If you need to make the exercise less challenging, bend your knees and put your feet flat on the ground:

Level 2 sample workout routine:

Monday – 3 sets of 8 reps of overhand bodyweight rows

Wednesday – 3 sets of 8 reps of underhand bodyweight rows (hands reversed)

Friday – 3 sets of 8 reps of overhand bodyweight rows

(And then go underhand, overhand, underhand the following week)

As soon as you’re doing bodyweight rows where your body is at a 45-degree angle or lower, you can progress to Level 3.

OPTION B: IF YOU DON’T HAVE ACCESS TO A GYM FOR INVERTED ROWS:

You have 4 paths here:

1) Purchase a door frame pull-up bar, hang a pair of gymnastic rings from them. And then follow the same advice as above!

2) Use your kitchen table for rows (BE CAREFUL):

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3) Do inverted rows between a couple chairs, as we walk you through in How to Do Pull-ups Without a Bar:

4) Move up to Level 3 and progress with caution there.

If you are struggling with rows, you’re not sure you’re doing them correctly, or you’re not sure how to progress to the next level, check out our 1-on-1 coaching program.

It’s the type of program that helped single mom Leslie lose 100+ pounds and start training with gymnastic rings and handstands!

Want to get results like Leslie? Let us help you get your first pull-up ASAP! Learn more:

Level 3 Pull-Up Workout: Assisted Pull-Ups

Okay! It’s time to get to ACTUAL pull-ups here! Personally, I don’t like using the assisted pull-up machine in a gym as it doesn’t give you the full feeling of a pull-up, but it’s certainly better than nothing.

Instead, I recommend doing one of these alternatives:

#1) Assisted Pull-ups with chair

Either one foot or two on the chair, depending on your needs. Your feet are ONLY there for support, use your upper body as much as possible.

You can also use a box or similar sized object for the same result:

#2)Assisted Pull-ups with exercise band:

You can get different types of exercise bands with different levels of strength, or a variety pack for easy progression.

Put your foot in the exercise band and pull yourself up.

#3) Assisted pull-ups with a partner:

Have a friend hold your feet behind you and help you complete each rep. Have them use the least amount of help possible to get you through your workouts.

Here’s how to do an assisted pull-up:

Clench your butt and keep your abs tight throughout the exercise – try not to swing like crazy.

Keep your shoulder blades pinched behind you throughout the movement and focus on PULLING the bar down with your arms.

Use the least amount of assistance that you can handle – as soon as you can do multiple pull-ups with both feet on the chair, switch to just one foot.

If you’re using an exercise band, try to get a few bands of varying tension so you can decrease the resistance as you get stronger.

As soon as you can do 3 sets of 8 with assistance, it’s time to move on to Level 4.

For another reference, Coach Jim and Staci show you how to do a variation of assisted chin-up right here:

This is probably the TOUGHEST level before getting your pull-ups. If you get stuck on “assisted pull-ups” and “assisted chin-ups”, you’re not alone. This is where most people get stuck.

We work hand-in-hand with people like you to get them their first pull-up in our Online Coaching Program. If you don’t know how to fit these movements into your workouts, or you just want somebody to give you the exact workout to follow every day, we got you!

No guesswork. No confusion. Just a workout program that’s customized for you.

Finally, a workout that includes Level 3 pull-up exercises

Monday – Assisted Pull-ups – 3 sets of 8 reps

Wednesday – Inverted Bodyweight Rows – 3 sets of 8 reps

Friday – Assisted Chin Ups – 3 sets of 8 reps

This will help you ramp up to Level 4.

Level 4 Pull-Up Workout: Top holds and Bar Hangs

Alright, so we’ve started off great! We’re working those pulling muscles and assisted variations – but an actual chin-up might feel miles (or kilometers) away. Heck, just even holding onto the bar may be a challenge without some assistance.

What should we do now?

How about we work on holding onto the bar!?!

Before we work on doing full range, unassisted chin-ups or pull-ups, it’s really helpful to be strong and confident in holding unassisted parts of the movement. This is where Top Holds and Bar Hangs come in! #1) A Top Hold is exactly what it sounds like – we hold the top position of the chin-up or pull-up for several seconds (5 to 10). You’ll likely find holding the top of the chin-up (palms facing you) easier than the pull-up.

This is definitely something that you want to first do assisted. We’ll then work to transfer more weight – bit by bit over several workouts – off our feet and onto our arms until we’re holding ourselves unassisted at the top.

Using a band is a good option for assisted chin-ups, but using a box, bench, or another sturdy object will be a better option here.

It will allow you to shift that weight onto your arms a little easier.

That said, if all you have is a band for this exercise then that’s ok! Look to use thinner and thinner bands, while lifting the feet and knees up a bit to further reduce assistance (as the band won’t be stretched as far).

#2) On the other side of the movement, we have the Bar Hang…which is pretty much what it sounds like too!

To perform a bar hang:

Grab the bar with palms facing towards you or away from you. You’ll likely find hanging with palms facing away from you to be a bit more comfortable. Either direction will help strengthen up your grip.

Just like with the top hold, you’ll want to start assisted then work to shift your weight from your feet onto your arms until you’re hanging unassisted.

To further supercharge this exercise: once you are hanging unassisted, work on retracting your shoulders down away from your ears.

Like so:

And so:

This small movement is TOUGH (and you can even practice it assisted) but getting strong here will set your shoulders in an even better position for your first chin-up/pull-up.

We’ll look to hang from the bar (assisted or unassisted) for a total time of 30 seconds to 1 minute. At first this time may be broken up into several sets (e.g., 10 seconds, 10 seconds, 10 seconds), but you should eventually work up to one full set.

So how should we integrate either of these into our training?

#1) For the Top Holds, do this at the start of your workout (after your warm-up) for 3 sets of 5 seconds. Make sure you give it your all! Really squeeze the muscles tight and put as much weight on the arms as possible!

With all that effort, you’ll want to give yourself 30 seconds to a minute rest in-between. I know that sounds like a lot for just 5 seconds of work – but if you were working hard enough, you’ll need it!

#2) For the Bar Hang, do this at the end of your workout for 30 seconds to a minute. Again, look to complete this in as few sets as possible, while making the exercise as challenging as possible. Move from assisted to unassisted, with the shoulders retracted downwards.

If you have to take a break during the bar hang time, then take enough rest so that the next hold is productive.

Here Are the Exercises You Can Include for Your Level 4 Workout Routine:

Monday:

Top Hold (Assisted or Unassisted) – 4 sets of 5 seconds

Assisted Pull-ups – 3 sets of 8 repetitions

Bar Hang (Assisted or Unassisted) – 30 seconds total time

Wednesday:

Top hold (Assisted or Unassisted) – 4 sets of 5-10 seconds

Bodyweight Rows – 3 sets of 8 reps

Bar Hang (Assisted or Unassisted) – 30 to 60 seconds total time

Friday –

Top Hold (Assisted or Unassisted) – 4 sets of 5 seconds

Assisted Chin-ups – 3 sets of 8 reps

Bar Hang (Assisted or Unassisted) – 30 seconds total time

When you’re able to perform the Top Holds and Bar Hangs unassisted, then it’s time to move to the next level!!!

LEVEL 4.5 PULL-UP WORKOUT: (THE HIDDEN LEVEL)

What’s this??? Secret hidden exercises?

I just wanted to bring your attention to a great addition to any of these workouts – especially as things really ramp up.

Ready for it?

It’s . . . the front plank!

The front plank (or any of your favorite midsection stabilization exercises) is a great exercise to do, should holding a Top Hold or a Bar Hang prove tough.

If you haven’t already felt it during the the previous pull-up workouts – your middle needs to be involved too!

During a pull-up or chin-of, if we squeeze through the midsection and glutes, the nearby muscles are able to contract stronger through a phenomenon known as muscle irradiation.

Besides sounding like something the Fantastic Four encountered in space, this cool “trick” can helps engaged nearby muscles in the midsection, including those big back muscles that pull us up!

You can see muscle irradiation for yourself if you’ve ever been asked to flex your biceps for someone. You’ll instinctually squeeze your hand tight, because it helps the biceps engage stronger!

If needed, throw in some front planks work near the end of your workout.

You can even start on your knees:

Look to hold 30 seconds to one minute of total time.

Alright, back to our regularly schedule programming!

Level 5 Pull-Up Workout: Negative Pull-Ups

Okay! We are now DANGEROUSLY close to getting our first pull-up!

The big step at this level is doing a negative pull-up:

Grab onto the bar with an overhand grip

Jump so your chest is touching

Slowly lower yourself under control until you’re at the bottom of the movement.

WARNING: This can be very dangerous if you’re very overweight, which is why I’d recommend moving slowly through steps 1-3 first.

However, once you have a decent amount of back strength (which you got from Levels 1, 2, and 3), doing negatives is a great way to build arm and back strength.

You have two options for negative pull-ups:

Hop up on a chair to get above the bar and then lower yourself back down. The name of the game is “in control.”

Jump above the pull-up bar, and then begin to lower yourself back down IN CONTROL.

You don’t need to lower yourself so slowly that one repetition destroys you…lower yourself at a controlled speed – Counting to “three Mississippi” during the movement is a good tempo.

Here are the exercises you can include for your Level 5 Workout Routine:

Monday:

Negative Pull-ups – 4 sets of 1 rep

Assisted Pull-ups – 3 sets of 8 reps

Bar Hang (Unassisted) – 30 seconds total time

Wednesday:

Top Hold (Unassisted) – 4 sets of 5-10 seconds

Bodyweight Rows – 3 sets of 8 reps

Bar Hang (Unassisted) – 60 seconds total time

Friday:

Negative Chin-ups – 4 sets of 1 rep

Assisted Chin-ups – 3 sets of 8 reps

Bar Hang (Unassisted) – 30 seconds total time

Once you’re doing all of the negative repetitions in each exercise…you’re ready to do a pull-up.

As you’ll see above, we’re giving you the “pull” exercises if you are building your own workout. If you want a good beginner gym workout program, these movements will fit in perfectly.

Alternatively, we can do all of the heavy lifting for you (well, not ALL the heavy lifting) – we’ll create a specific workout so all you have to do is log into your NF Coaching App each morning and do the workout your coach prescribed!

Never wonder what to do next. Learn how our coaching app can tell you exactly what to do every day!

Level 6 – Doing Your First Pull-up or Chin-up

OH BOY! My dear Rebel, it’s time for a…

At this point you have two options:

A chin-up is when you grab the bar with an underhand grip with your palms facing towards you.

Many find chin-ups slightly easier than…

A pull-up is when you grab the bar with your palms facing away from you. Seeing as this is a pull-up guide…

HOW TO DO A PULL-UP, STEP-BY-STEP:

youtube

Grab the bar with a grip slightly wider than shoulder-width, with your hands facing away from you.

Start from a dead hang.

Engage your shoulders, pull them down and back towards each other (like you are pinching a pencil between your shoulder blades!)

Flex your stomach, pull your body until your chest touches the bar.

Slight pause, yell out “I’m a champion!”

Lower yourself all the way back down to a dead hang.

We cover all of this and more in our post “How to Do a Proper Pull-Up,” but the above will get you started

Depending on your weight, your level of fitness and strength, and how far along you are in these progressions, you might be able to start with even more than one pull-up.

At this point, you can be a full Gym Class Hero by following a Gym Workout with these movements in there for your “pull” exercises:

Level 6 routine weekly schedule:

Monday:

Pull-ups – 4 sets of 1-2 reps (move onto the next exercise if you can’t perform a rep)

Assisted Pull-ups – 3 sets of 8 reps

Bar Hang (Unassisted) – 60 seconds total time

Wednesday:

Negative Chin-ups – 4 sets of 1 rep

Bodyweight Rows – 3 sets of 8 reps

Bar Hang (Unassisted) – 60 seconds total time

Friday:

Chin-ups – 4 sets of 1-2 reps (move onto the next exercise if you can’t perform a rep)

Assisted Chin-ups – 3 sets of 8 reps

Bar Hang (Unassisted) – 60 seconds total time

Congratulations! You’re now doing pull-ups. Make sure you watch that video above to make sure you’re doing pull-ups with proper form. Nearly everybody does them incorrectly, with bad form.

Want to make sure you have proper form with your pull-ups? Check out our 1-on-1 Coaching program! Our spiffy mobile app lets you send video of your pull-ups directly to your coach, who will provide feedback so you can perfect your technique.

They’ll also build a workout program that’s custom to your situation, which will have you doing sets of 10 pull-ups in NO time!

Have your Nerd Fitness Coach build you a pull-up workout and check your form! Click here to learn more!

Level 7 – Advanced Pull-up Moves

Once you’re able to do 3 sets of 10 pull-ups or chin-ups, you have a few options:

OPTION #1: Continue to get better at doing more reps – 3 sets of 12, 3 sets of 15, 4 sets of 20, etc.

OPTION #2: Start doing other types of pull-ups

WIDE GRIP PULL-UPS (grab the bar WAY out with both hands):

SIDE TO SIDE PULL-UPS

RING PULL-UPS

TOWEL PULL-UPS (Great for grip strength)

youtube

OPTION #3) Add weight with a weight belt and do weighted pull-ups or weighted chin-ups:

Personally, my favorite thing to do in a gym is weighted pull-ups; if you’re at this level and interested in doing so, here’s what you need to do:

Get a weight belt. I bought this one on Amazon and it’s worked out incredibly well for me. I’ve tried doing the whole “put weights in a backpack” and it certainly works, but the angle of the weights hanging off your back is weird. With a weight belt, the weight hangs down between your legs (not a euphemism) so it feels more natural.

Add small amounts at a time. Most gyms will have 2.5 lb (roughly 1kg) weights; you might feel stupid putting on a big weight belt and only hanging a tiny weight off it, but you need to start somewhere.

Consistently add more weight. I’ll warm up with two sets of 5 pull-ups with no extra weight, and then do 3 sets of 5 weighted pull-ups. If I can complete all 3 sets of 5 reps (with my chin over the bar for every rep), I’ll make a note to add 2.5 or 5lbs (1 or 2kg) to my weight belt for the next time.

Here’s how to incorporate these Level 6 exercises into your gym workout routine:

Monday – Weighted Chin Ups – 3 sets of 5 reps

Wednesday – Elevated Feet Body Weight Rows – 3 sets of max repetitions

Friday – Wide Grip Pull-ups – 3 sets of maximum repetition

(The following week, I’d alternate by doing the chin-ups without weight, and then doing weighted pull-ups

Where do you go from here? How about working towards one of the most impressive exercises of all time? The MUSCLE UP (warning: uber advanced)!

Our new app, Nerd Fitness Journey, not only has an adventure to get you your first pull-up, but we’ll also show you exactly how to do cool bodyweight tricks like the muscle-up too. No guesswork needed here, just jump into the app and follow the missions and workouts for the day.

You can try your free trial TODAY, right here:

Lift Yourself Up (A Life With Pull-Ups)

No matter your starting point, you CAN do pull-ups.

And you WILL do pull-ups with this guide.

You don’t need to follow the progression above exactly – it’s merely one path that you can take in order to reach the promised land…where the pull-ups flow like wine and the women instinctively flock like the Salmon of Capistrano.

Just ask Christina, who can now do multiple sets of pull-ups – her story is incredible:

Or Bronwyn, who lost 50+ lbs and now does chin-ups with her daughter on her back!

youtube

For people looking for the next step, we’ve built 3 options that might float your boat:

1) If you are somebody that wants to get results like the women above and follow a tailor-made pull-up strength program designed around their life and goals, check out our popular 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program.

You’ll work with our certified NF instructors who will get to know you better than you know yourself, check your form, and program your workouts and nutrition for you.

Click here to learn how Nerd Fitness Coaching can help you achieve your first pull-up!

#2) Exercising at home and need a plan to follow? Check out Nerd Fitness Journey!

Our fun habit-building app helps you exercise more frequently, eat healthier, and level up your life (literally). We even have an awesome adventure to help you get your first pull-up!

Try your free trial right here:

3) Join our free community, the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, and we’ll send you our free Strength 101 Guide, which you can get when you sign up in the box below:

Download our comprehensive guide STRENGTH TRAINING 101!

Everything you need to know about getting strong.

Workout routines for bodyweight AND weight training.

How to find the right gym and train properly in one.

Follow the path that works for your schedule, your experience, and your level of comfort with this movement – there’s no shame in going slowly and progressing safely.

And if you’re gung ho about pull-ups, ready for negatives and trying to squirm for that first rep, feel free to go for it. Just be safe.

When you DO finally do a pull-up, I want to be the first to know – email me at [email protected] and tell me about it!

For the Rebellion,

-Steve

PS: Check out our other three articles on pull-ups:

How to Do a Proper Pull-up (Correct Form)

5 Common Pull-Up Mistakes

How to Do Pull-ups Without a Bar

PPS: Want to learn more? Read the rest of the Strength Training 101 series:

Strength Training 101: Beginner Strength Workouts

6 Gym Workouts for Beginners

How to Find a Good Personal Trainer

Strength Training 101: Inverted Rows

Strength Training 101: How to Squat

Strength Training 101: The Press

Strength Training 101: The Deadlift

###

Photo Souce: Muscles that Move the Humerus

The post Blog first appeared on Nerd Fitness.

Get Your First Pull-up Or Chin-up! 30-Day Pull up Progression Plan published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

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intheclique · 5 years ago

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CLIQUE talks ‘Life in Lock-down...’

100 days +

What would you do in 100 days.

Read a couple books.

Learn a new skill.

Play those games you never got around to play.

You see; lock-down downs been tough.

It’s been really tough,

It’s sucked almost at times.

But we’re slowly about to see light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s true; it has affected many people from all backgrounds, so we thought we’d put together a small selection of in depth ‘look intos’ how lock-down has affected each and everyone one of us in a small way.

It’s no surprise but we’ve actually been in lock-down for more then 100 days.

Some still self-isolating.

Others working all the way through.

But what has like really been like during lock-down.

Has it really been all sunshine and rainbows.

Has it had a long lasting affect mentally, physically or emotionally.

How hard has lock-down hit you?

You see, everyone’s story is different.

Everyone has a different path to follow and tale to tell.

So this week we caught up with three separate individuals and asked them all the same set of questions.

Let’s see how lock-down life has affected those in different backgrounds.

This week we talked to,

NHS Nurse Sally Dunn who has a family, worked throughout the pandemic, and continues to push on through day-to-day life, all whilst keeping a proud smile, and keeping the family life in motion.

Full time Chemistry Student Matthew Plews, a young man with great ambition, all-round nice guy, who’s not only working full-time part time, he has a passion for baking and music to ease him through the day-to-day life.

Full time Editor in chief (and our friends at Hinton Magazine) Curtis Hinton, magazine editor, football enthusiast, and all round gent who loves a gin or two.

How has lock-down and Covid-19 affected each person, and where do we move forward in the coming months.

Find below our little Q n A.

Answers in order.

CLIQUE

Q. How you been handling lock-down?

Sally - Better than I thought I would. Felt guilt at times that I haven’t been productive like walking enough or home schooling good enough. I’m not great at sitting and relaxing so it’s kind of forced me to do it!

Matthew - Now that it’s been lifted a little bit, where you can see people I’ve been fine, however at the beginning it was a bit of a struggle as I’m always kept busy, kind of felt lost.

Curtis - I think I’ve been one of the very few people that it hasn’t really affected. A Lot of people that I’ve spoken to have said they have found it tough, they been affected by their mental health during this time. Whereas for me personally I don’t feel like it had affected me.

Q. Did you have to self-isolate?

Sally - No.

Matthew - No, but I was very weary of going places as my mam and sister are classed as vulnerable.

Curtis - I did yes, I has symptoms quite early on so I self isolated for 14 days.

Q. What’s your current job?

Sally - Neonatal nurse

Matthew - Waiter

Curtis - I am a business owner

Q. Enjoy it? Or this a stepping stone for something else?

Sally - Love it. My job for life

Matthew - Not really, I should have been in Ibiza working now, I still don’t want to go back and I’ve been looking for something else

Curtis - Without a doubt it’s the best job I’ve ever had. There is always something to keep me busy. The business I own, owns a few business including a magazine.

Q. Do you think lock-downs been good for your health?

Sally - Mental health yes, I’ve been almost forced to make time for me to relax! physical health no, I’ve eaten too much and put too much weight on.

Matthew - Not really, used to going to the gym every day, being out and about to literally doing nothing. Also those zoom quizzes, sat getting drunk with my pals in my room certainly didn’t help my liver lol...

Curtis - Yes, even though I have been very busy, I have still taken time to think about things, Slightly re-evaluate how the future might look and used some spare time to develop some personal skills.

Q. Have you still been able to work?

Sally - Yes, I’m a nurse, work carries on regardless for a nurse!

Matthew - No, however I did have uni work to finish off for a few months. Since that’s been over with I’ve had nothing to do.

Curtis - Thankfully, yes I have. I have set up a home office, so even when I was self-isolating I was managing to work.

If *YES* elaborate. If *NO* again you could elaborate why not.

Q. How long have you been in lock-down?

Sally - Since March 16th.

Matthew - Since BoJo said so, like 105 days maybe?

Curtis - From the moment the government announced it, which I believe was 23rd March, Limiting my visits to shops and going out side of my home.

Q. How has it affected you or your family life?

Sally - My children miss their friends, their activities such as dancing and swimming. I’ve not been able to see my family - especially my dad, and that’s been awful. My husband’s family is in Birmingham and he hasn’t seen them for months. I couldn’t see my eldest daughter for ages and that was really hard.

Matthew - I live with my mam and sister, we argued a bit at the beginning but gradually got used to it. My mam was even sitting watching Netflix in the car, telling me she was getting shopping for my grandma.

Curtis - I think personally for me this lock-down has been great. It’s given me a lot more time to myself. More time to think about things and to advance some skills and certainly advance something with my business. I went back to the family home for the lock-down so I wasn’t completely alone throughout this time which has been nice.

Q. Has lock-down affected your relationship? If applicable?

Sally - We’ve spent more time together so it’s been good.

Matthew - n/a

Curtis - n/a

Q. Do you think there will be a second wave?

Sally - I think so. I hope not but I think it will.

Matthew - Not any time soon (hopefully.)

Curtis - Almost certainly, but I don’t think there will be another nationwide lock-down. Although peoples health should always be number one priority – you have to think about the other affects the lock down has, for example on the economy which the fall out from all of this could affect peoples health just as much as the virus.

Q. Have you learned any new skills in lock-down?

Sally - Yes! I can now crochet!

Matthew - I’ve been trying all sorts! Started off learning how to knit, I’ve been growing loads of plants (including and avocado tree), been baking a lot more and cooking for family. I did try hairdressing once I couldn’t cope with the lock-down length anymore, but I don’t recommend going near your hair with clippers when you’re not trained ha ha.

Curtis - Yes, I have been reading a lot more. Also developing my knowledge in different areas.

Q. What has lock-down taught you? Any lessons?

Sally - Appreciate the little things. Money is important but time is more precious and what you do with it is special.

Matthew - It has taught me to be grateful for what you have. Like even just seeing friends (not just over facetime) now after like a 3 month it’s been great. Like appreciating like spending time with people because it’s mad how quick everything can just go. It’s also taught me you don’t need to go to the pub every weekend because believe it or not, you CAN actually stay in (all it has taken me to realize was a deadly virus)

Curtis - It’s taught me life is way to short. Don’t be wasting any moments. After speaking to friends I think a lot of people have financially been affected by this lock-down – even with furlough. Hopefully this is a wake up call, people will hopefully see where they are wasting money and invest it in themselves more, whether that be on their education, on their business or even something like travelling.

Q. Do you think lock-down has been good for everyone?

Sally - No. My dad has been shielding and he misses us all terribly. Those living alone and those furloughed or have lost jobs have had tough times.

Matthew - Not really. Personally I’ve been trying to think of positives, like saving money and appreciating people, but from a mental health point of view I feel like it will have a big impact on people.

Curtis - It depends on how each individual views their times in lock-down. I think everyone should take a moment to assess their lock down and to see if they were truly happy with what they have done during their 13/14 weeks at home. If not then they need to make a change ASAP. Chances like this don’t come around often.

Q. Do you think the Government handle lock-down well?

Sally - I’m not sure what I’d have done differently, maybe not lifted restrictions so early, but it’s an unprecedented situation and everyone was learning as they went along, including government. Hindsight is a ‘wonderful’ thing. We can all say they should’ve done this, would’ve done that, could’ve done this, but it might not have changed the outcome.

Matthew - A. Definitely not, fuck the Tories!

Curtis - Yes, They is WAY to much negativity around the ways the government has handled this lock-down. People need to understand compared to the rest of Europe England and the UK are such a different country. The behavior of a small minority in this country are the ones who have failed us. Those who broke lock-down laws those are the ones who have spread it to someone going out once a week to their food shop. I think Boris (even with him getting the virus himself) and his team have done a phenomenal job and if there was another pandemic, I would be more than happy if they were to lead us through it.

Q. Do you think the population handled lock-down well?

Sally - Some of us! Some people have been daft and put lives at risk, riots, mass gatherings, ignoring rules. All put lives at risk.

Matthew - No. Everyone’s just been so angry about everything. I honestly think its brought out the worst in people, especially the “lock-down police” aka those saddos taking pictures of people that have left the house and shaming them on social media. Get a life man.

Curtis - 99.9% Yes, there is a small minority who didn’t listen putting a majority at risk and they should be made to pay.

Q. Highlights of your lock-down?

Sally - Spending more time with the kids. My 40th birthday has been during lock down and I feel it was made more special.

Matthew - Weekly quizzes with the crew, low key sad they’ve died out but glad I can see them in real life now.

Curtis - Self-development.

Q. Do you think there will be many lock-down babies?

Sally - Not sure, maybe. But maybe not the ones that are result of drunken nights on the town!

Matthew - Can you get pregnant from a social distance?? lol

Curtis - Maybe, I think many have been affected by mental health and wont bee feeling frisky after the first couple of weeks.

Q. Anything else you’d like to add with your experience of Cv-19?

Sally - I wish I’d kept a diary since the start of lock-down. COVID19 will be in the history books, we are part of this history.

Matthew - Ms Rona has taught me to look for the good in bad situations. Everything is out of your control so there’s no point stressing, just play your part and be sensible. And finally, keep stocked up on bog roll so you don’t have to fight Karen for it next time the world comes to an end lol.

Curtis - I just want to thank everyone is the country who listened to guidelines. The people of Britain is what makes us great, that includes Health workers, all key workers and to the government officials. We are nowhere near through this pandemic yet and no end is in sight. I hope people just stay sensible and stay safe.

Thanks again everyone.

If you wish to make a charitable donation to the NHS find a link below.

CLIQUE.

https://www.nhscharitiestogether.co.uk/

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nightblink · 7 years ago

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Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters Two, Three, and Four

Chapter Two – One Problem Solved

Hello Adolin, my sun son, I have also missed you so.

Good man, taking charge and organizing your people just like you've been raised to. Find that purpose in usefulness. Find that distraction. You're going to need it.

Heralds, I'm a terrible person, but I want you to b r e a k.

That's not almost a relief, that is a relief that they found the body, because you are too honest for your own good and The Worst Liar and it's going to tear you apart inside trying to keep this a secret. It's almost a tiny weight off of your shoulders, being discovered and that small step closer to your own Damnation, isn't it?

Oh shit, Dalinar calling out Teft by name-

“Looking for him? You lost your highprince.” Why do I find this so fucking funny. It's such a little thing and yet I'm cackling.

'connoisseur of death' – Dalinar why you gotta be so Extra(tm)

(we all know why, it's a Kholin Genetic Affliction)

I was listening to The Way of Kings not long ago and it sticks out as Dalinar catalogues Sadeas' face and wound that Adolin likes to and is skilled at using his fists while on the battlefield. Also managed the overpowering and stabbing while beat to shit and with at least a broken wrist. If he'd actually managed to get Sadeas in the ring, I'd give the man under a minute, if Adolin didn't drag the 'fight' out for the vicious pleasure of it.

SEBARIAL AND PALONA, AYYYY

'He didn't trust most of the highprinces farther than the wind could blow them.” Dalinar. Dalinar you do know that you live in the stormlands, where I know that a Highstorm's stormwall has been known to lift boulders and carry large trees at least 640 kilometers. The wind can blow anyone pretty damn far.

…..actually, that explains everything, considering how easily you trust.

(Wisdom was your dump stat, wasn't it. Ten sapphires says you have a negative modifier for Insight.)

Palona says what we're all thinking. Give that woman a medal and a nice spa day.

L o r d I forgot how much I liked Sebarial and his combination of common sense (for a Highprince) and snark.

[whistles] I knew Urithiru was massive, but that description puts my visualization on a wholly different scale. Ten tiers, each of eighteen levels? Is 18 going to be another number to watch out for?

RICE PADDY ROCKBUD FIELDS

BrandoSando what powers do the squires osmose from their Radiant. I want a list broken down in detail, stat.

Bridge Four, never change.

Dalinar. Dalinar, he would have undermined you at every turn. Forget uniting Roshar, you wouldn't have been able to unite Alethkar with Sadeas sowing dissent and tearing down everything you try to build! Think what you may, but Adolin did what must be done.

Good man, Aladar. Good to know that you can change when faced with new information. Sebarial being Highprince of Commerce was practically guaranteed from the point we heard of him building a proper economy on the Shattered Plains. Adolin as Dalinar's right hand and general was a given.

But what is Renarin to do, other than attempt to figure out his powers? It's a high-priority task, to be sure, but Dalinar, couldn't you entrust a little less personal of a responsibility to him as well? Make him feel like part of the greater whole rather than set aside as he's always been…?

[sighs] I suppose we'll see how this plays out.

Chapter 3 – Momentum

Ohhhhh, and here we get one of the three chapters released way long ago that I did read.

'Rockbuds crunched like skulls beneath Dalinar's boots' What a line what an iconic line-

Almighty Dalinar you were more arrogant than Adolin easy; you can damn well see where he gets it from

This entire visual is glorious and I'm reveling in the descriptive flavour. Who needs a movie when this plays out in the imagination so well?

He can make a line of spearmen waver with just a war cry, Heralds

I said it the first time I read this chapter and it keeps running through my head – the Blackthorn is fucking terrifying

Even now, he's having trouble feeling the Thrill, or at least getting it to catch and hold. I can't imagine he was anything close to proto-Radiant at this point, but perhaps Alethi predisposed towards Radiant-ness have an innate resistance?

(We never read of Kaladin feeling the Thrill.)

OOOP, THERE IT IS.

I would like to rage.

Bloody as it may be, the thought of young!Dalinar spinning with his poleaxe like a dancer is viscerally satisfying on some deep level.

“I just go where he points me.” Dalinar confirmed for guided tactical missile.

And there's the arrow, and Dalinar is impressed. Nearly gets shot again with just how impressed he is. (Now's not the time for competency-kink to kick in, buddy.)

Dalinar. Dalinar, anyone else would call this a bad idea.

“He's got a hole through his chest. Tough break.” Dalinar please.

….Sadeas had golden Shardplate. Sadeas had golden Shardplate. I suppose this must be before he picked his colours as Highprince, and I am entirely unsurprised that he'd go that showboat-y. Was he forced to give up the gold at some point? Is that why his Plate during the current timeline was painted red as opposed to Elhokar's golden set?

“Oh Dalinar. What would we do without you?” Sadeas, I'm afraid your flirting isn't going to work on this one.

Chapter Analysis: young!Dalinar classed straight Barbarian. WIS for dump stat.

Chapter Four – Oaths

[squints at the pre-chapter quote] Theory that the book Oathbringer in-universe is Dalinar's biography is rapidly declining. Still possible, though.

THE EVERSTORM RETURNS.

!!!! He's feeling the Stormfather's emotions? The soulbond can transfer emotions between spren and Radiant and vice versa? Be still my heart.

Stormfather is bascially a cat, ignoring Dalinar just because he doesn't want to come when called, confirmed.

SNUGGLES

Not only snuggles but bared safehand aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh- I love how that's more a sign of trust and intimate familiarity than anything inherently sexual.

The Everstorm is at least slower than a highstorm, but that's not a whole lot of reassurance. “It wouldn't tear down cities, but it did rain destruction upon them – and the winds would attack in bursts, hostile, even deliberate.” Yeaaaah, definitely not. How powerful can those “deliberate” gusts be, I wonder?

Gavilar was your control back then, wasn't he? External control, rather then the internal discipline you keep now.

You want to- you want to get married before you let yourself 'get seduced'. I mean, that's entirely fitting with the Vorin religion and the Alethi in particular being so focused on oaths, but damn, man. I thought you two were already quietly together.

INFORMATION ABOUT SHSHSHSH GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TO M-

….shit. You're telling Navani about the lack of memory. Hoooooly shit.

Hostage? Hostage?!

I am abruptly SO MUCH more concerned for Adolin and Renarin, Adolin was only thirteen and Renarin even younger I thought she'd fallen ill or something but a hostage situation can you imagine how that impacted the boys, how that must have scarred them to the core – during their formative years! I- fuck. This is going to get some serious attention on the RP blog after I've finished Oathbringer.

The thought of Elhokar faced with Dalinar and Navani's wedding vows is partly so hilarious that I almost want it to happen, but on the other hand I feel he'd spontaneously combust with sheer embarrassment and I probably would too.

Dalinar you lunatic.

….still stuck on hostage situati-

'silk-covered virgin' – does that mean that the Alethi traditionally get married in silk clothing? I'm imagining the men in a vest-and-takama set, the women in something light and flowing. There's no way that Dalinar isn't in his uniform right now though.

True spren versus subspren? What would constitute a subspren? Is that akin to the difference between honorspren and windspren, or is there a further level of spren that we haven't seen yet?

What do your sons think of this, Dalinar? They who remember their mother? I don't think they're opposed to you remarrying – on the contrary, they'd want you to be happy, but… what do they think?

BRIDAL CROWN. I NEED TO ART THIS ASAP.

Red is lucky, making a note of that.

“A lady must be prepared.” Oh hush, you planned for this to happen.

This. Is not going to make Elhokar feel any less like he's being ousted as king. This will undermine his confidence in his position even further, which is not good when King Social Anxiety is already pretty much at rock bottom and recuperating from an assassination attempt.

The face of the storm itself opening up overhead, the world hanging on a suspended breath… I'm getting shivers, no wonder the crowd exploded with awespren!

OH GOOD YOUR BOYS ARE THRILLED. Grinning! And joy! And, despite the Alethi not being big on contact, hugs. Adolin you touch-starved nerd

Oooof. That is pretty heretical, Dalinar, you have to admit that. Even atheists like Jasnah are probably less 'heretical' in the eyes of Vorinism than someone 'faithful' proclaiming that God Is Dead. In this time when your goal is unity, this isn't going to help you in the slightest.

[looks at map of Alethkar at the end of the chapter] [looks up]

Why. The everloving fuck. Is there no scale for distance. THIS IS A BASIC PART OF MAPMAKING. I WILL COME OVER THERE AND BEAT IT INTO YOUR HEADS-

...still stuck on hostage situation and I’m apparently not getting over it anytime soon

#oathbringer spoilers #blink reads oathbringer #and bitches about IMPROPER MAPMAKING

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lily-in-japan · 6 years ago

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DAY 1

I woke up at 7:30am, feeling more alive then I possibly have ever felt. After taking a shower, facetiming Georgia in Glasgow, and brushing my teeth, I headed out from my hotel at around 9 and went to Shinjuku with absolutely no itinerary. My first inclination was to deliberately not structure my time in Tokyo in the hopes of coming across hidden / lesser known wonders that would become mine, and not every tourist who entered Tokyo’s border’s. However, after wandering around Shinjuku for about an hour trying to find a breakfast spot (which turned out fruitless) and getting pretty lost and intimidated by the stacks of shops that lined the streets, all with their own individual sign that screamed at me as I navigated my surroundings, I decided that maybe having a little structure or general idea of what I wanted to see could be helpful to me in the long run.

In the midst of this train of thought, I came across an Italian-style restaurant that looked pretty snazzy, and decided to give it a try. When I entered into the space, I was met with tablecloths and other fabrics pulsating red, white, and green -- the colors of the Italian flag. Almost everything in the restaurant was one of its three colors, even down to the napkins and table feet, which I found to be pretty impressive. I ordered pomodoro pasta, but misunderstood what the waiter had told me about a free drink that was included with my meal, which then transformed into a (broken) English speaking conversation which made me feel disheartened, as I wanted to understand but got flustered and then subsequently lost in the conversation. As I was eating my pasta alone with only one other customer (who quickly left), I was joined by two people who gave me the impression that they were on a first date. The man was smoking a cigarette that smelled like wood, and the woman was laughing and constantly shifting her position so that one hand was resting on her face longingly, lending the impression through her gesture that she was intently listening to the man’s stories and jokes. A large group of friends or coworkers followed them -- they were a pretty rowdy crowd and collectively drained about 30 beers in 45 minutes. When I paid for the meal, one of the other waiters asked if I was half Japanese because I could speak Japanese well, and after I told her that I was not and that I had just been studying for a while, we both laughed it off and had a nice and funny conversation about comparing New York, which she had been to once, and Tokyo, which I had been to once. We exchanged LINE IDs, and I went on my way, deciding to go to Harajuku next to see if I found any cute clothing or accessories to take with me to Kanazawa for school.

After deciding whether or not to walk or take the train to Harajuku, almost an hour away by foot, I crazily decided to walk. Though I had Google Maps on me, I figured asking a person on the street wouldn’t hurt, so I approached a group of older women who subsequently virtually adopted me as their own. After talking amongst themselves, they brought me to the police to further inquire about the potential walk to Harajuku, as they were on their way to the train anyway. We talked about the importance of long walks and travel they had done in the past, and after trying to convince the policeman on my behalf that I was a fan of taking long walks and failing, having the policeman tell me that it was impossible and that it was imperative to take the train, they individually shook my hand and went on their way. As did I, to Harajuku by foot, walking along a narrow winding path which transitioned into Yoyogi, where I saw the JR (Japanese Rail) headquarters and came across a book swap, where I found and bought a gorgeous manga drawn and written by Suehiro Maruo, an author I had never heard of but felt the need to read.

I eventually found myself entering the wild nature of Harajuku’s Takeshita street, bobbing through a packed crowd of hundreds of people forming two opposing masses that moved whether one was ready to or not. I explored many stores, walking up and down narrow stairs to enter into large warehouses packed tight with cool-looking punk clothing, streetwear, silky flower print dresses with white collars, and makeup galore. After waiting on line for a bathroom in one of these warehouses for 30 minutes, having been on my feet since the early AM, I was beginning to get exhausted, but still managed to snag a few awesome items, including a white lace collar that goes over any shirt or dress as a separate piece, sakura (cherry blossom) earrings, a Birth of Venus-esque bra and panty set that was too good to pass up, and a lot of fashion inspiration from people I saw around me.

On my way to the train back to my hotel, I strolled through Yoyogi Park, where the first signs of the blooming cherry blossom trees showed their face. While the park was fairly empty, as it was getting dark, there were many groups of people gathered under a large patch of land covered with 桜の木, playing catch, doing frisbee, having picnics, and holding hands on a bench on a romantic spring date. I felt so at peace, and sat on one of the benches next to a couple for almost an hour, reading my new manga and feeling the cool night wind against my face. It was a nice change of pace from the rest of the day, which was sunny and hot, in the mid 70s, and provided me with other sensory sensations that invigorated my skin and made me feel happy and alive.

I went to a soba/udon shop for dinner, where I was met with a vending machine where I chose my dinner selection after entering the appropriate amount of coins. The machine was old and run down, and did not have some of the options I saw outside on the window menu; as a result, I stared at it, trying to answer the questions swirling around my head, for longer than I thought I did, apparently, for the chef to my left began putting noodles in bowls and telling me that they were udon, soba, etc. in English with a large grin on his face. After replying in Japanese, we both began laughing, and he made me a delicious tonkatsu with a side of soba on the house.

I ended my night with a mortifying experience in a Lawson, a type of conbini (convenience store) that is very popular in Japan and is a lifeline in various ways for many people, especially as a place where you can buy a quick pre-made lunch that is delicious at a cost that is affordable. I bought a cup of jelly with mandarin oranges inside, a desert I am particularly fond of. However, when I was producing the cash needed to buy it, coming to 147 yen, requiring a number of different and specific coins that were crudely lodged in my wallet, I dropped all of the change I had in various intervals, becoming increasingly embarrassing every time I did it. The cashier stared blankly at me, while the other cashier giggled quietly and another customer picked up some of the dropped change to return to me. I finally produced the sufficient amount, quickly shuffled out of the store, and made it my mental priority to buy a change purse ASAP, realizing that unlike in America where change is not as important as dollars are, there are the equivalent of 1 and 5 dollar bills in yen, making change of higher importance.

When I got back to my hotel, I decided to cool down after the embarrassment attached to the experience I had just had, and tried out the small-scale onsen that was on the 9th floor, but did anything but cool down. I, along with 3 other Japanese women who were staying at the hotel, stayed in the pool for a total of about 10 minutes before all collectively almost passing out. After working collaboratively to get the cool water dispenser to work, to no avail, I went back to my room, popped open the jelly treat that I had temporarily stored in my fridge, watched a dramatic TV show under the covers, and drifted off to sleep. While hectic and overwhelming, I couldn’t have asked for a better first full day, and am glad I was able to approach it headfirst alone.

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