#i still feel obliged to control my appearance and clothing and body language in order to be treated with respect

[beaft]

anyway i'm always fascinated by the people who think that trans men transition purely to escape misogyny and gain social capital. idk how it is for other people, but since i transitioned i have not only experienced more misogyny than i ever did before but also lost access to the public spaces and support systems that might have helped me deal with it

[thepeakyfckingblinders]

Never Again || Thomas Shelby x reader

credits to @saralou23​ for the gif

⤠ MASTERLIST⤟

Anon requested/summary: “can I request a fic where the reader is found unconscious or faints in the shop or something and tommy freaks out? I just find protective tommy so ❤️💓💟!! Thank you, your writing is absolutely INCREDIBLE” (Thank you so much honeybun, you’re making me blush, pls, forgive me for being late ❤️)

Warnings: swearing, bossy Tommy, basically Tommy freaking out and being overprotective, me always loving him with all of my mangled soul

Author’s notes:

I hope you are okay darlings, I love you, please stay safe ♡

I’m so sorry for being this late, I have no excuses, forgive me. Also the end sucks, but I’m struggling with my writing lately, so, sorry again.

I love protective Thomas so much, he’s an ass, but he’s a softie, and I’m gonna lose my mind some day.

Behind each one of these works there are sleepless nights and something really close to multiple mental breakdowns, so, please, take a minute to send me a message about it, I need actual actual feedbacks to understand how to improve my skills and grow ♡

If you want to be added to my tag list, please, directly message me

I’m Italian, English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for every possible mistake I made. Also, please, help me improve my writing by telling me if there’s something wrong

ENJOY!

Birmingham’s gelid air hit your sensitive skin with no mercy as soon as your red mary-janes crossed the doorway of the Garrison, only to disgracefully sink into the greyish muddy loam in which the whole of Small Heath seemed to be covered.

Your fingers felt like rigid appendages burdening your already wearied arms, while you tried your best to wrap them around your coat’s edges, in a disperate effort to keep that warm tissue on your bulging clavicles left exposed by the woollen dress you were wearing. No matter how many heavy clothes you decided to put on, that implacable cold still succeeded in making you feel constantly out of forces, debilitated to the core; it had always been that way, since you were nothing more than a little girl obliged to spend one every two months confined in your bedroom, afflicted by incredibly high fever and sometimes even bronchitis.

Truth was that your body had never got used to England’s humid weather, yet, even though you poor healt had previously put you in danger, for your sake, thanks to the enormous progresses made by medicine in the past fifteen years, it was now easy to fight against the ruthless chill of those endless winters. Plus, since the earliest days of your attendence, your wardrobe had been perpetually refreshed with high-quality pieces perfectly in step with the times, for your fiancée had been literally covering you in furs and duvets of all kinds, concerned as he was that you could’ve eventually caught another bad fever, whose deathly consequences he had already experienced on his own thick skin. And for no reason in the world he would’ve even risked to lose you too.

So, as everybody could’ve easily predicted, Thomas was perennially paying attention to your wellbeing: the most famous specialists from inside and outside the United Kingdom had come directly to your country house; if one thing could be taken for granted, it was that your medications would always be settled on your side cabinet, together with a glass of fresh water, every day and every night; and, come hell or high water, he would accompany you during your routine visits to the hospital, even when it meant leaving all of his business without any prior warning.

Needless to say, you were perfectly able to do those things on your own -pheraps except for getting a crowd of world renowned doctors in your living room- and you sure as hell had tried to persuade him that there was no need at all for being so preoccupied all the time; still, he was Tommy Shelby, he simply couldn’t help it. 

The concern for his loved ones’ lives kept stealing his sleep, even on those nights when there was no trace of imminent dangers on the horizon, it kept excoriating the insides of his drained brains, to the point that, more than once, you’d had to sleep alone in your immense king-size bed or reach for him in his study, curling up on one of his uncomfortable armchairs, ready to appease his fears as best you could. In short, for as much as you needed him to relax, you were still able to understand his protective behavior, against which, as a matter of fact, no one could do much; thus you at least tried not to give him more reasons to be worried by paying some extra attention to all those small things you could solve without Tommy even knowing about it. Regularly taking your iron tablets, for example. Nonetheless, it had now been already a week since the Peaky Blinders had started a brand new business involving in effect every metalworking factory in and around Birmingham, and the whole family, you and Tom included, had been so turbulently tied up with work to let every other thought and need slither on the back burner. As a direct consequence, your doctor’s latest prescription was unfortunately left lying on the bottom of your drawer, that being the fourth day in a row you’d spent without taking those pills, and, even though everything appeared to be going well until then, that one Thursday morning your period eventually came and stroke the fatal blow, having you feel so faint and aching that, all of a sudden, the few metres separating your side of the street from the betting shop seemed to implausibly dilate right under your blurred vision, a vexing sense of nausea assaulting your empty stomach led you to lean against a lamppost, your skin still crawling beneath all those heavy tissues.  Dizziness and lethargy almost took over your sore mind, before you shook your head with an abrupt move in a bid to dispel those unpleasent sensations; clients would’ve arrived in less than a hour, Esme had taken John’s kids on a brief fieldtrip, Michael was already in his office, the boys were making their usual rounds of the mills, Finn and Isaiah were dealing with a couple folks in need back at the Garrison and Polly was nowhere in sight, which made you the only available blinder for the opening and, with Friday’s race approaching, there was no way the box-office could remain shut. Hence, more determined than ever, you chocked down the knot forming in your throat due to queasiness and just forced youself to put one foot in front of the other onto the dusty road, until you reached the shop door, not without the risk of tripping over multiple times in the process. Your frozen fingers clutched to the small side-wall now carring all of your weight, whilst your lungs tried to let in as much air as possible. And it worked, each plodding breath seemed to fight your sickness, also your heartbeat was gradually slowing down, thus you shut your eyelids and continued to inhale deeply for a full minute, before your trembilng hand managed to finally turn the key in the lock, giving you free access to the place. 

However, the small click produced by the latch closing again did not live to reach your ears, for they were already brimful of ominous hisses, in a scant moment a bulk of hypnotic grey worms prevented you from seeing anything else, they relentlessly squirmed in front of your dilated pupils, that repulsing view sending brutal shooks straight to your clenched stomach, again. And, before you even had a chance to realize what was going on, your brain completely blacked out.

                                                    ~ ~ ~

Words would not be sufficient to describe the fright taking over Arthur’s features the second your inert silhouette entered his line of sight. Just returned from their daily patrol, he had indeed noticed a small crowd waiting outside the office, cursing and fussing because of the lacked opening, and that alone had been weird enough for him to punch and kick his way up to the entrance, profanities spilling from his mustached mouth every time somebody’s elbow digged into his ribcage, inducing him to hit back so to stand his ground, only to eventually find himself powerless in front of that ghastly scene. It took him a while to recover from the shock, yet the eldest Shelby eventually regained control of his limbs and moved towards your shape with a single step.

“Polly! Pol, come here, for God’s sake!” Those hoarse yells filled the room, reverberating through the brickwalls, so loud that they could’ve been heard from the other side of the city, Arthur fell on his knees right beside you, gently placing a hand under your nape in order to lift your head. Blind panic streaming in his veins kept him for thinking clearly, he didn’t know what to do, thus he simply shook you from your shoulders, hoping in vain to see your eyes fly back open, but your neck just bent backwards.

“Where the hell is that bloody woman when I need her?!” he grunted those words in between his teeth while tigthening his grip on you, then his chest raised in a sharp move: “Jesus Christ, Polly!” He shouted once more, this time conveying all of his breath and blood towards his larynx, his abrasive voice shriveled and insisted on the last letters of his aunt’s name, until swift strides frantically hit the creaking steps, announcing Polly’s arrive. Her eyes struggled to remain open, her left palm was pressed against her forehead in a silly attempt to soothe the tremendous headache resulted from the previous night’s booze, she didn’t even have the time to put proper clothing on, since her mad niece was apparentely going berserk. “You, son of a bastard-�� cursed words died underneath her tongue when she understood what was going on, soon her feet took on a life of their own, as they picked up their peace, leading her next to your body now held in Arthur’s arms.

“She’s freezing, Pol, she’s a fucking chunk of ice!” Hiccoughs shattered his worried cries, he almost whined, shifting his gaze from yours to Polly’s face over and over again, she, on the other hand, used the whole lenght of her right arm to clear in one smooth motion the closest desk. “Quick, lay her here” The deafening noise produced by those items colliding with the pavement barely grazed her hears, whilst she nodded to herself in the effort to impose some order on her obfuscated head, searching for a prompt solution that was late in coming, to the point that Finn beat it to the draw and stormed in, pointing a loaded gun to each corner of the room with fear in his cerulean irises. “What the hell’s going on?” That hysterical question echoed through the place, even though the young boy was finding it hard to get his breath, due to the crazy run he had made to reach the shop immediately after hearing that insane screaming. Nonetheless, in the space of an instant, he saw you as well and fell utterly silent, violent dismay caught him off guard, his wide eyes hesitated on your motionless figure; all of a sudden he didn’t know what to think, nor he could get the thought of your death out of his brains.

“My God, she’s as pale as death” Finn let his mind talk through that throttled murmur, regretting it right away, for silty goosebumps crawled on his skin under the pungent pressure of his brother’s instantaneous lethal glare. “Don’t talk shit, kid! Just fucking go and get Tom!”

The redhead didn’t waste any time, he somehow managed to recollect his guts and steadily disappeared behind the door previously left open. While struggling for air and internally searching for the right words to say in front of Thomas, Finn covered the whole distance between the office and the Garrison. Labored gasps coming out of his slightly parted lips in louder groans as he slammed the heavy pub’s doors open, using only his strongest shoulder; both Harry and Isaiah watched him run towards the back room where Tommy was going through the books, they did not dare spill a word and, after all, the boy didn’t even look in their direction, such was his concentration. Still, once he reached the place, all of a sudden his tongue felt dry, his well-organised speech faded away.

“Finn?! What’s wrong?” Tom’s icy eyes were now staring at him through his round glasses, the paper he’d been reading was instantly dropped, although his tone remained steady. “Y-you need to come, now! She... she’s-” A frown formed upon Tommy’s marble face at his little brother’s furious rambling, something wasn’t right, that was crystal clear, yet he wasn’t able to keep up with those hasty and stuttered sentences, so he approached him, putting both his hands on Finn’s shoulders in order to give him a little shove and maybe get some decent information. “Breathe, kid, and tell me what’s going on” That deep, adamant tone somehow sounded scarier than usual roaring inside the boy’s head, hence anxiety definitively won him over, gaining complete control of his mouth too. “It’s Y/n! I don’t fucking know, Tom, s-she looks dead!” All at once, time and space seemed to collapse around him, one single second dilated, covering the space of a whole lifetime beyond his vacant blue irises now fixed on an undetermined spot of the white wall behind Finn’s back.   A gruesome, yet familiar sensation raided his petrified body, it felt like having a beast’s fangs gnawing his throat off, lacerating his flesh to the bone, he could sense every little laceration, his chest being plundered, till even his sable heart was eradicated and then mauled. A strangled wheeze barely lived through his plump lips, that being the only sound he uttered, then his black pupils shrinked and immediately twitched, nailing his sibiling’s gaze. Without receiving an order from his brain, his fists violently gripped Finn’s jacket at the height of his biceps, bringing him a span away from his gnashed teeth with a sharp pull. “Where?” He snarled liked a rabid dog, striking, if possible, geater terror in the young man who struggled to spit an almost inaudible “The shop”, before being shoved against the doorframe as Tommy dodged him and rushed out.

                                                     ~ ~ ~

Polly held the bottle of her almond parfume she’d just put under your nostrils as if her life depended on it, Arthur’s rough palm, instead, began to pat your pasty cheek. “C’mon, love, wake up! Don’t play games, c’mon!” The dorsum of that same hand now poking the left side of your face, and then going back to the other, at incredible speed. You started to feel your face again when his nudges grew in intensity, until he was practically slapping you; soon a tremendous metallic taste invaded your mouth, or rather, you finally sensed it, whilst your eyelids battled against gravity to get back up. Arthur noticed it, he detected that brief flinch and it felt like being pampered with a fresh breeze after days of unsustainable heat. “Oh, fuck, I think I’m having a stroke” His tone held extreme urgency as he grasped for air, tugging with two fingers at his shirt collar; sure, he was great at knocking people off, maybe the best, yet, unfortunately, after that he’d never tried to bring somenody back with the living.

Blinding light rended your shrouded eyes, everything appeared blurred to the point that you couldn’t distinguish Polly’s features, although she was right beside you; nor your hearing was working, since the loud thud produced by the wooden door hitting the brickwall, and then your name barked by your fiancée’s coarse voice, sounded muffled to your ears. With a superhuman effort you succeeded in tilting your face towards the entrance, you recognized the navy-blue suit Thomas had chosen to wear earlier in the moring, still those nebulous images reached your brains with extreme delay, it was like watching vague movie scenes stream in slow motion. Your eyelids blinked as if a plumbeous burden was anchored to them, each flutter seemed to last a full minute, so that you perceived Tom coming to you in multiple shattered motions, while he kept calling you. The moment Tommy furiously jostled against Arthur, in order to take his place by the desk, you gradually went back to see and hear clearly, now being able to seize pure dread sailing those mesmerizing ocean eyes. “Thank goodness, y/n” His big palms envelopped both your cheeks, slightly squeezing them as he lift your neck, revealing all of his hidden delicacy that you, and you only, were able to bring out. “Y/n, love, talk to me” That order came out like a prayer, his voice betraying him once too often, his fingers shaking with worry, while one of his hands held your chin and the other went to caress your locks. Those loving strokes brushed against your skin, slowly infusing a little warmth into your gelid body, he touched you with the unbearable fear of watching you pass away in between his arms, having him struggle to breathe properly. “Do you hear me?” a single, salty drop fell from his long eyelashes and poured your lower lip, you heard his voice crack, distorting, until it became nothing more than a faint whine: “Please, love, talk to me” When his forehead pressed against yours, he finally gave in to the tears that had been held back with drastic ostination, shutting his eyes for a few instants he allowed brutal sobs to trounce his already aching chest. However, that moment of raw weakness was soon restrained, so that you returned to stare into his blue irises. Then, a small grin crossed your pale mouth and, even though your throat felt like gasoline on fire, preventing you from pronouncing a single syllable, you managed to guide your tiny hand to cup his sharp cheekbone. A burning kiss was pressed on its dorsum, before Tommy completely leant into your touch, giving you a look halfway between relief and disperation, he covered your hand with his own, holding it tight. “You’re okay, you’re safe” Those soft murmurs escaped his lips, probably aimed to placate the axphyziating terror still intoxicating his veins. Indeed, as hard as it was to conceive for everybody in that room, although you were the one just recovering from a sudden collapse, Tommy was now the one trembling like a fallen leaf, his arms rested on each side of your shape, sustaining his weight, as he barely stood on his own two feet. Slowly, you regained the necessary strenght to lift your bust, leading him to flutter in your direction, promptly enlacing his forearms around your waist in order to support your movements. “Hold onto me, darling, take it slow” His raspy voice was still unsteady and full of concern, he was holding his breath out of fear, gazing at you with wide eyes and tightening the grip on your hips as if to make sure that you wouldn’t vanish in his palms. You, on the other hand, gave him a rassuring smile, caressing his face mutliple times and placing a brief kiss on his mouth. “I’m fine, Tommy, I’m here with you” you eventually spoke close to his ear so to keep that conversation between the two of you “Let go, my love, I’m here” Your lips accidentally brushed against his forehead once he listened to you and abandoned himself to your tender embrace, gradually drowning into your soft chest while his arms clung on to your figure, his fingertips almost piercing the thick material of your dress as your cheek covered his head, totally annihilating the distance. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. Never again”.

tag list: @spidey-pal​, @shadow-of-wonder​, @stassaurus​​, @peachlle​, @livvtheangel​, @myjbphase​, @namelesslosers, @crazyonesarethebest​, @vxxn128​, @keithseabrook27​, @spaghettirogers​​, @writingstudent​​, @hp-hogwartsexpress , @eggingamazinglove​, @geeksareunique​, @cailoleaf​, @simonsbluee​ , @hereforsmutandfluff​, @starxtt​, @jenepleurepasbaby​, @staygold-bebold​, @marvelschriss​, @captivatedbycillianmurphy​

[macwalden]

Birthday Chaos pt. 1

where: Brenton Avery’s house who: Brenton Avery ( @beeavery​ ), Rabastan Lestrange ( @diisgustednoiise​ ), Freya Avery ( @freyasavery​ ), and Walden Macnair.

BRENTON was feeling pretty pleased with himself. The mac and cheese in the oven was looking (and smelling) good and he had laid the table properly and managed to stop Ash trying to put his toys on said table for five minutes. Not only that, but he had managed to get Rabastan there although so far he had failed to mention who the fourth place setting was for. He wasn’t ready to see Walden again himself and the idea of him and Rabastan and Brenton all being in one room at the same time seemed like a pretty bad idea at the moment. But they would do it. For Freya’s birthday. The crack of apparition just outside the boundary of the house’s wards was what made Brenton think maybe Rabastan did deserve a bit of a heads up. “You know how it’s Freya’s evening?” But his own lack of privacy when it came to knocking meant that his house had something of an open door policy for family so there wasn’t enough time before the handle started to turn. He gripped onto Rabastan’s hand and dragged him along with him into the hallway, Ash bounding alongside them.

RABASTAN had nothing against freya, in fact, he considered her to be a close friend. he wanted to help her celebrate, but he'd be lying if he didn't feel out of place at an intimate family dinner. and that didn't even begin to cover his feelings towards birthdays as a whole. in general, birthdays, or at least, his birthday, weren't celebrated in the lestrange household. he was unfamiliar with the entire concept, but still he helped with the preparations, even going as far as arranging a bouquet for the table. of course, he was still nervous, especially at the sight of the unexplained fourth place setting. for their father perhaps? though he was sure brenton would've given him notice if his father was attending. freya's date? that made more sense, but again, why hadn't brenton mentioned it? that left him with a sickening feeling, but he chose to ignore it, instead forcing a smile across his face as he reluctantly followed the other into the hallway. "is there something you're trying to tell me?" he asked, eyebrow arched as he turned his head to look at brenton.

FREYA walked into Brenton's house confidently, after pausing just a moment for a polite knock.  She wasn't usually all that concerned about barging in, but he had gone through the trouble of making her a birthday dinner; she could pretend to have manners for the evening. She wasn't necessarily surprised to see Rabastan.  Brenton's reaction at the Quidditch match after Seb had died told her that something was going on there.  And did he brother do friendships without the added benefit of the occasional hook up?  She wasn't sure, nor did she blame him.  Sex was fun.  Rabastan was a good friend, but he was very boring.  Maybe Brenton was trying to corrupt him a bit?  She could see the appeal in that -- or maybe they were just buddies.  She truly doubted it, but stranger things had happened.

"It's my birthday," she announced with a casual shrug.  Just in case the near daily reminders and the plastic tiara she had worked into her hair weren't enough of an indication.  "so I brought the cake."  She didn't bother to hold it out for them to expected, stepping between them and leading the way into the kitchen.  "Where's --" she stopped at the sound of someone else entering the house.  "Nevermind!"

It was the week of WALDEN and Freya's birthday but the older man definitely did not feel like it. At his age, celebrating every birthday felt more like an obligation than a celebration. But somehow, always having them with Brenton and Freya helps make it a little more bearable. But Walden knew that this celebration was going to be a problem precisely because of that. Ever since, Walden's confrontation with Brenton, he's been in somewhat of a downward spiral filled with booze and men to occupy the time. Just last night he sought out a very eager gentleman who was more than willing to leave marks all over his body. Marks that he didn't even bother to remove. He hadn't seen Brenton since the incident so he was certain that there would still be tension in the air between them. But as much as he wanted to ditch his own birthday celebration, family is family. And it's not only his birthday they were sharing a dinner for. It's also Freya's. The day finally comes and Walden dons a coat over his usual set of clothes without even bothering to cover up a sweet red spot just beneath his jaw. He strolled right through the open door with a bottle of vodka in his hands and a swagger that screamed fuck all. "And I brought vodka." he added as he appeared in the hallway walking straight towards them.  His eyes caught Freya and flashed a brief smile. "So where's my tiara?"

Freya proved a good enough distraction for BRENTON to avoid Rabastan’s question again. At least she was there first, although Brenton was quickly running out of time to bring up Walden. He had mentioned before that they grew up together, immediately after returning from the proposition Walden had set up with Jasper, but the explanation had been rushed and confused and likely didn’t leave Rabastan with the full impression of what ‘growing up together’ meant. Especially given Brenton had said that they used to fuck. He reluctantly let go of Rabastan’s hand to let Freya pass and as he turned to follow immediately reached out again for his other hand, but his eyes were on Freya, a mixture of fondness and amusement on his face at her tiara and the fact she had known he wouldn’t bother with a cake and the fact she had barely batted an eyelid to Rabastan being there. “Happy birthday, wean,” he said, reaching out to mess up her hair. The arrival of the final guest had Brenton’s body language changing completely. He pulled Rabastan close, an arm going around his shoulders. It was in part a comfort to himself but it was also a strong message to Walden that this was a thing and he would just have to accept that. An added bonus was stopping Rabastan from being able to apparate without risking a splinching if Brenton was holding onto him. “Happy birthday,” he said to Walden, his voice chilly compared to the way he had said it to Freya. He forced a smile onto his face as he turned his attention back to Freya and Rabastan but it was tense. “So many options. What would you two like to drink?” Besides the vodka there was all the drink Brenton always had kicking around: a combination of dark liquors, beers and white wine as well as a handful of random soft drinks that were more for show than for drinking.

"happy birthday, freya," RABASTAN greeted his friend with a smile as he moved back to allow her room to pass. if she was surprised by his presence, she did a good job of hiding it. and for that he was beyond thankful, he already felt incredibly out of place, the last thing he needed was for it to be pointed out. and perhaps, he thought, this night might be alright after all. freya was alone, which was a good sign, brenton may have gotten the number of place settings wrong. his question for brenton all but forgotten, a smile on his face as he turned to follow after freya. the cake looked amazing, not that he had doubted freya's skills for one second, and the fragrant smell of pasta and cheese filled the air. but of course, he had been too optimistic, as the familiar pop of apparation filled the air. but still, folding on to what little hope he had left he once more turned around, a forced smile on his face as he cast a glance at brenton before turning towards the door. he found brenton's gesture to be a bit unsettling, such a display of affection was rather unusual for them, but he leaned in, even allowing his shoulders to drop as he stood facing the door. every thing clicked the second walden entered, and it took ever ounce of his self control not to turn around and say something he'd later regret. he remained silent, eyes narrowed, shoulders tensed as he reluctantly followed behind the rest of the group. he thought about apparating, but seeing as he had no where to go, he decided against it. for now. not waiting for anyone to make their drink order, he moved towards the bottle of scotch and poured himself a rather generous glass. and taking a large sip of it, he reluctantly turned back around, choosing to remain silent. perhaps if he didn't say anything, they would jsut forget that he was there.

FREYA didn't say anything, just offered a cheerful smile to her brother and Rabastan.  It wasn't that she was unbothered -- she didn't get it, not really.  Rabastan was vanilla and Brenton was one tiny spoonful of all the flavors in the ice cream shop mixed together.  She supposed Rabastan had a nice body; and maybe he saved all his chaos for his bed mate.  It was something that she could respect, if she were being honest.  But it wasn't her business -- she was making a lot of assumptions, but she knew her brother well enough to know that he wouldn't have invited a casual friend over for their birthday dinner.  But he could fuck anyone he wanted -- she'd mind her own business. But as Walden appeared she grew interested again, setting their cake on the table and lowering herself onto the chair.  She knew he was joking, but when he asked where his tiara was she pulled the second birthday crown she had bought over out of her bag and passed it to him with a grin.  "Happy birthday!"

But the tension in the room seemed thick and it was fantastic.  Something had happened here.  And Brenton's arm around Rabastan was far more funny than it was sweet.  He was being a jealous... boyfriend?  "Are you two fighting?"  She asked curiously, looking between Brenton and Walden.  "I've got to go get my camera if you're going to throw punches, so warn me first, at least."

WALDEN didn't show that Brenton's public display of affection affected him. Sure, it made him slightly throw up bile in his mouth but he kept it in. He wasn't willing to give Brenton the satisfaction. At both the Avery's greetings, Walden just smiled humorlessly. He didn't even thank Brenton.  All he did was accept Freya's extra tiara and place it on his forehead. "Happy Birthday, Freya." At least with her, Walden was genuine. He was greeted twice but as far as he was concerned, there was one person who didn't greet him. He looked straight at Rabastan, even thought the younger man wasn't looking at him. "So no greetings for me?" Walden simply rolled his eyes and ignored Freya's comment. Walden was never one to throw punches. That's what wands are for. Since she didn't answer Brenton's question, he took it upon himself to answer the other male's question. He can't help but notice that Rabastan refused to answer as well. In fact, the boy slipped away from Brenton's grasp. Huh. Lover's quarrel maybe? Merlin, he hopes so. "Something dark, please," he said, already walking past all of them to head towards the table. "Got any rum?" he cried out, clearly not intending to make his own drink.

BRENTON gave Freya his best attempt at an innocent, wide-eyed look. "I've never fought anyone in my life," he said, even though all of them knew that was a lie. Although, he had no plans whatsoever to fight Walden today. It was their birthdays and they were having family time. He wouldn't ruin it by starting a fight. However irritated he was already feeling just from the mere presence of his old friend. He was happy for Rabastan to help himself to the scotch, because in his mind that's how it should be. If there was anyone who should feel enough at home to help themselves it was Rabastan. All three of them, actually, but mostly Rabastan. "I'll have scotch, too, if you're pouring," he said, a smile on his face that disappeared when Brenton found himself staring at Walden's back, resolution not to start a fight quickly forgotten. "You're not having the vodka? Of course you're not. You only want to share your things when it's something I don't want." Still, he wasn't that bothered that pouring Walden's drink was left to him. It gave him the chance to turn to Rabastan and tilt his head to indicate he wanted to talk to him away from the other two as he opened his liquor cabinet to get out the dark rum.

while the thought to help himself to walden's bottle of vodka had crossed RABASTAN’s mind, it would have required interacting with the older male and that was something he was in no rush to do. he knew it would happen sooner or later, but hopefully, after he'd consumed a considerable amount of alcohol. so, eyes narrowed, he held his glass to his mouth as he took another long sip of his scotch. if he wasn't worried about putting on a good front for freya's sake, he would've opted to drink straight from the bottle. but, it was probably in his best interest to not end up blacked out. so instead he found himself fighting the urge to roll his eyes, and trying even harder to avoid brenton's gaze. he knew the second their eyes met, he'd be unable to hold back his emotions. it was already taking a considerable amount of self control for him not to scream at brenton, letting his feelings about being lied too known. but, he'd make sure the other go an earful later. he chose to ignore freya's comment about the fight, hoping that brenton and walden would do the same. it was bad enough, they didn't need to talk about it, though he was certain it would come up sooner or later. but rather than dwelling on it, he turned to pour brenton a glass of scotch, purposefully under pouring, whilst also topping off his own glass. "here you go," he responded, his tone just a bit too hostile as he pushed the glass across the counter, before turning around. he wasn't interested in talking to brenton, not now. so instead he turned his focus to freya, "tell me, how has your day been so far?" he asked, an eyebrow arched as he moved to take a seat next to her.

FREYA tilted her head to the side, trying to hide the amusement on her face.  She had always been far too entertained when there was unspoken tension in the room.  It was a fun little game, trying to figure out what had happened before someone spilled.  Someone always spilled.  "You too," she grinned at Walden.  "I made your favorite."  She gestured at the cake.  "Even though it's only the second best sort." She was tempted to reach for a drink, but there'd be time for that later -- her eyes flicked from Walden to Brenton and then to Rabastan, who looked somewhere  between angry and uncomfortable.  He was involved too?  It seemed like Rabastan was on Brenton's side, of course he was.  Just another bit of evidence in the her former betrothed and her brother were hooking up column.  But if Rabastan and Brenton were on each other's side she supposed she should secretly cheer Walden on. "More for me," she said cheerfully, reaching forward for the vodka -- which was a disgusting drink, but she was on Walden's side for now so she did it for the team spirit.  She pour just a tiny bit in the glass and swirled it a bit before grabbing the soda and dumping the rest in the glass.  She smirked at Walden, sure he'd have something to say about her defacing perfectly good vodka and sat back down. When Rabastan pointedly ignored Brenton's not so subtle signal she raised her eyebrows.  Maybe they weren't on each other's side?  But they were totally fucking.  That was confusing, but she'd get the whole story before the night was done, she was sure of it.  "It's been good!  I baked and I went to take my father his gift.  And I slept in before all of that.  Went a bit too hard at a pub last night.  Yours not going so good?"  She sort of wanted Walden and Brenton to go away so she could plan some kind of prank or mild to moderate chaos to liven up the evening with Rabastan.  Maybe if she pretended the mac and cheese was on fire.

"Well that's not very polite, is it?" WALDEN muttered. He made sure that it was still loud enough for everyone to hear. "Didn't you guys tell him this was a joint birthday celebration?" he asked Freya and Brenton while deliberately ignoring Rabastan. He's very much disappointed at the Avery's for ignoring the fact that Rabastan didn't greet him as well. "Second best?" Walden asked Freya. "Are you trying to tell me that you hate me?" he joked. At the rate that the party is going, he wasn't even sure if they'll ever reach dessert. Walden kept his indecipherable mask on as Brenton questioned him not drinking the very drink he brought. Brenton's comment actually left something in him a little bruised. Just one little spat. One twat named Rabstan caught in between them. Now, Brenton's acting like Walden has never done anything for him that he actually wanted or needed.  Well two could play at that game. "Just wanted to start with something dark is all. Didn't know you don't like Vodka. I assumed something as tasteless like vodka would be up your alley." His eyebrow shot up when Rabastan slid the glass of scotch towards Brenton with hostility? Was there trouble in paradise? If so, then maybe the night might prove itself to be enjoyable after all.  Brenton clearly wanted some time alone with Rab but the other was clearly not having it so Walden took it upon himself to join Brenton while he made his drink. In a voice low enough so that the others won't hear, he asked Brenton, "So is this you making things official with dear Rabastan over there? You're really doing this on Freya's birthday?"

[badgirlsinterviews]

The Paths of Beauty [Interview]

Interview with writer and actress Camila Sosa Villada, author of ‘Bad Girls’.

Written by Sergio Alzate.

11/05/20

Source: El Tiempo.

In her novel, Camila Sosa narrated the experience of a travesti community in Córdoba, Argentina. (Photo credit: María Palacios)

Camila Sosa Villada likes to take in the world with her eyes. For her, life is made up of images: vignettes that catch her eye from which she discerns a speck of light, a dash of colour, a certain meaning. Through her eyes, she listens, she feels, she smells, she sounds out, she travels and she consumes the world around her, a world which is made up of images that she treasures and stores away. Through these snapshots, she forms a collage of her reality and her experiences. They are, in other words, parts of a puzzle which she pieces together, bit by bit, creating a unique, absolute, indescribable final image: one of beauty.

Beauty (not as an anatomical category, nor as the opposite of faithfulness) runs through the pages of Bad Girls, her most recently published work which recounts the experience of a group of travestis who gather each night in the Sarmiento Park, in the city of Córdoba, in Argentina. As such, a travesti mother is able produce milk with her silicone breast; a mute woman turns into a bird; headless men fall in love; gardens burst and cover everything with their lush and uncontrolled vegetation; people declare their bodies as their home; laughter, embraces, words, and love become the shelter from violence; shouts echo with one brutal, resounding, infinite message: “being travesti is a celebration”. Miracles and sparks of beauty unfold with furious tenderness from page to page.

Some of these themes were discussed by Camila in her 2014 TedTalk. The actress, theatre-maker and writer spoke of the suffering of travesti and sex worker bodies, her father’s prediction that she’d end up dead, left in a ditch, the life of a pregnant girl who would meet her clients in the park, her hair filled with weeds from having done her job lying down in the grass. After recounting all of this, Camila asks in a broken voice: “Have any of you have ever imagined that there could be anything more concretely poetic than that?” That’s exactly what Bad Girls is: poetry, concreteness, beauty. 

The novel contains a theme which appears over and over again: beauty, the search for it, the curse of it, its joys and sorrows. What made you write about it?

I think I’ve always been privileged. I’m able to see the world in a way that’s different to others. I felt like a dealer: at night I’d be out with the group of travestis, and then during the day I’d go to university. In those worlds, there were moments I observed that were so defining, spectacular and profoundly beautiful that they affected me on an emotional level. I wasn’t speaking about them arbitrarily: things have always appeared beautiful to me. Not for what they look like our sound like, but for what they emanate. Beauty is the foundation of my book. 

In ‘In Praise of Shadows’, Jun'ichirō Tanizaki speaks of the beauty of shadows, which goes against how beauty in the canon of Western literature is based on light. The beauty of travestis, that which inhabits the shadows, the parks, away from the light, is a bit like that, don’t you think?

Yes, exactly. We were gorgeous during the day as well, though. Like something out of a Tarantino film, we’d go about in the sun, very early in the morning, strutting of the park under the morning sun towards McDonalds, where we’d have breakfast. We’d walk to the bus stop, the red sun over the city, everything glowing orange. Our beauty was a disruption, interrupting the aesthetics and order of a city as catholic as Córdoba. We tried to be beautiful in the light of day, and we succeeded. 

In his essay ‘The Simulation’, Severo Sarduy says that women don’t exist, with travestis constructing their identities based on that knowledge. What do you think of that?

I think we gave in to feminine beauty at some point. But we also moved away from imitating them. We began to explore sensations which still haven’t been defined, and which exist only amongst us travestis. It’s not to do with sexuality or identity. It’s a declaration of our existence in the world. Meeting a travesti who had money or was from a well-off family was rare. While all of us were marginalized, we all had our own bodies through which we constructed our unique existences, capable of being in our own ways. 

Speaking of bodies, the narrator in your novel state we can judge countries by the way they treat travesti bodies. Are these bodies national history? What can we read in them?

Men decide how the bodies of travestis should be, their desires dictate how our bodies are to develop. How incredibly unjust and terrifying! In the past, they wanted travestis to have hips like Sofía Loren. Then they said: “No, we want them tall, slim, and tan”. Now, they want us to be natural. Luckily, girls are therefore no longer obliged to get surgery. But this is just a first approximation, because there’s also the class struggle, something which has never been so concretely exemplified as through the bodies of travestis. Claudia Rodríguez (writer and trans activist from Chile) says that society doesn’t inform us of the danger of certain surgical procedures. All we knew was that, in order to change the world, we first had to change ourselves, our bodies. We fought to become beautiful, marketable, attractive, and when we didn’t have money for silicone, many of us would inject ourselves with industrial silicone, sentencing ourselves to a slow death. And we’d also be at risk of getting AIDS and other diseases, because we’d be terrified of going to the hospital. No one like you can be found there; no one there caters to us, listens to us, reassures us. All of them are hugely different to you. 

However, in the midst of it all, beauty and tenderness always remain. Do you see these as means of resistance? 

It comes naturally to me: I say without thinking that I’m looking for beauty in horror, or flowers in the mud. I tell it as I see it. I think discussing violence is akin to goldsmithing - it requires you to be extremely meticulous, and to take care to make sure what you’re working on doesn’t turn into something finicky or terrible. I have to have the patience and the eye of someone whose job requires them to be millimetrically precise. You have to be like a shaolin monk, wandering through the desert with a staff, looking for beauty. Without beauty, life is unable to exist. 

There’s also a series of miracle that occur throughout the book - some happier than others, but, ultimately, all of them are miracles. What drew you to this miraculous calling?

Neither of us would be here today if it wasn’t for the tale of a miracle. In Argentina, there’s a popular saint called the Difunta Correa. My parents brought a little medal to her sanctuary, and left it there with a promise: that the three of us would go back there together if I left the street and sex work. Three months later, I debuted in my theatre show Carnes Tolendas. I began gaining recognition and I never took cocaine, nor did sex work, ever again. I stopped being exposed to violence. The same year my parents made that promise, I experienced two violent instances with two clients. My parents sensed that, and prayed for a miracle to happen to me. So yes, my reading of it is that magic does happen. 

When Auntie Encarna, one of the characters in the novel, becomes a mother, this stirs up hatred within the community she lives in. What upsets is so upsetting about the thought of a travesti becoming a mother?

Every day, through their various methods and systems, capitalism and the patriarchy are competing for authority over childhood. They therefore want to ensure that it’s them who are raising the children of our country. The danger for them, is that they know that a travesti is incapable of perpetuating their systems of control. I prefer to look at it romantically, and refuse to believe that travestis would ever work for capitalism. That’s what bothers them. They’re scared of losing their control on the order which bestows them with their privileges. They also fear the thought of the existence of families formed through instincts, feelings, and emotions as subversive as love. 

The narrator asks herself how many times she’s written the word “violence”. Twenty years have passed since the events of the book - how many times do you think that word continues being written down today?

News about recent deaths still come up in conversation. We are trapped in a violent system. Violence is still there, but the support for us travestis, as well as other sectors of society, has increased. That possibility has arisen because of us, because of the girl who goes out to buy vegetables, the girl who does sex work, the girl who leaves her CV in a clothes shop for the first time, the girl who opens up to the people she’s living with to tell them she’s going to dress as a woman, the girl who writes books, the girl who sings, the girl who acts,the girl who creates a new kind of knowledge. All of us are creating an animal-like support where we resist and say “look, everyone, we aren’t genocidal, we aren’t rapists or child abusers, nor do we want to steal from anyone.” Violence still exists, and it has become even more intense.  

The travestis which appear in the book find a way of speaking and existing through their biting sense of humour. How does this particular type of language allow bonds to grow between people?

I think one of the most reductive takes on the topic is saying that “we treat each other like that to numb the pain.” In other words, we treat each other cruelly in order to later face the cruelty from the outside world. Last year, I read Claus and Lucas by Agota Kristoff, and there it may be interpreted that, like in the book, we are training in order to become desensitized. And I may be mistaken about this, but I believe that it’s to do with how we knew that language is the most powerful thing that exists. Through words, we could play speech in ways others didn’t expect. We’d say the most horrible things to each other with the greatest affection, and we’d say the most affectionate things in cutting and hurtful ways. We’d make up words, we had secret codes, nicknames that belonged to us. Our lack of privilege drove us to become very intelligent, and we soon realised that language was the only thing that truly belonged to us. As a result, we occupied it in the way we saw fit.

[sharinluna]

MLQC Chapter 15 translation

Translation of excerpts from chapter 15 to improve my language skills.

This is not a full translation, only some parts. It’s more like a abbreviation/summary/paraphrasing of some parts of the story. Do not ask me to translate more or reveal more plots in the story. 

I actively excluded all plot related scenes concerning evol and story development. I focused more on the relationship between MC and the LI.

The translation is based on KR version text. I’m not a professional translator and get things wrong. So do not regard this as the actual canon story.

I used Yōurán as the name of MC because that is the unofficial default MC’s name in CN version.

DO NOT COPY, QUOTE, REPOST OR REBLOG THIS ANYWHERE. Links are okay but I don’t want this post to spread too much in other communities or websites.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

 15-1

There were many passers-by in the busy streets between buildings but no one paid attention to the man standing in the midst of all.

He stood there devastated.

He looked at the large clock on the giant shopping mall. Soon it will become year 2028. Right now it’s 2028… the future. There’s so much to figure out.

“Beep-”

A black car sped past him. His eyes briefly landed on the man inside the car.

That is Victor. That is him ten years later.

15-2

I tried to tell myself that everything was over. That things turned back to normal. We can go back to living peacefully like we did before… or so I’m trying to persuade myself. But is it really?

What happened at the TV tower was not a dream. Separation from Lucien, not being able to find Victor, the painful farewell from Kiro, they are all real.

And… Gavin, protecting me, keeping me safe in his arms while bleeding himself is also not a dream.

After I gained consciousness I returned home after few days of recuperating. Gavin came by my house frequently to see me, but didn’t say anything about that day.

Time passed, and even the media lost interest. Everything was concluded as a freak accident in a TV station.

But I have never been able to be at ease since then.

(Knocking sound)

When I opened the door, there stood Gavin.

Gavin: How are things today?

He looked at me sadly.

Gavin: Did you have nightmares again?

I shook my head, but couldn’t hide the tears that were welling in my eyes.

Yōurán: I’m fine.

I forced myself to smile.

Yōurán: How are your wounds, are they all healed?

Gavin: The external injuries are almost healed. After a few days I’ll be able to go back doing missions.

Yōurán: That soon?

Gavin: To me, it’s not soon enough.

Yōurán: Gavin…

Gavin: I’m worried about you.

I shook my head.

Yōurán: I’m still healing… Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.

Gavin stood up and grabbed both my shoulders.

Gavin: You don’t have to try so hard. You can tell me what’s bothering you…

He hesitated, then kept speaking.

Gavin: …whenever you’re ready. I’ll always be beside you.

After experiencing such a huge incidence, I had trouble handling my roller coaster emotions. I started crying without warning.

He stilled for a moment, then quickly dried my tears.

Gavin: It’s okay to cry.

15-4

I caressed my bracelet, smiling softly.

Yōurán: Thanks to you, Gavin can always find me...

Gavin: No.

I looked up and Gavin was standing there with moonlight shining down on him.

Gavin: With or without the bracelet, I can always find you.

It was strange. There was no wind, but I could feel a gentle breeze soothing my heart.

Gavin: There’s some place I want to take you.

Many stars were shimmering down in his eyes looking at me. Without hesitation I placed my hand on his.

A gust of wind swept past us, and it seemed that I could touch the moon if I just reached out my hand...

Yōurán: Where are we going?

Gavin: You’ll see. Hold on to me tighter.

We landed in front of a giant ferris wheel that was recently constructed.

Yōurán: I think it’s closed...

Gavin: Just tell me this. Do you want to give it a ride?

I nodded yes. Gavin told me to wait and went to the operating room. Moments later the lights went on and the wheel started to move.

With excitement I followed Gavin into one of the capsules. I looked out the window as the city grew smaller and smaller under me. Everything looked peaceful and quiet.

Yōurán: Gavin... why did you bring me here?

Gavin pointed to a big building on the distance.

Gavin: You see this? That’s your office building. Next to it is the new Science Museum. On the right is the gym.

Gavin went on to explain what each buildings were. But I didn’t know why he was telling me all this.

Gavin: This is what I see every day as I do patrol. I see a city that you successfully saved from danger. I felt that I had to show you this.

Was he trying to say that the city was well-functioning thanks to me?

Gavin: Without you, the construction of this ferris wheel wouldn’t have been finished. Without you, the people down below wouldn’t have been able to go on with their lives. You saved them....

Then he took hold of my hands.

Gavin: ...like you saved me. When I was falling down in to the deepest pit of my life, you caught me and kept me from falling.

Gavin’s eyes were as bright as the stars and the moon as he said this. It was too dazzling to see.

Tears streamed down my face like torrents.

Yōurán: Gavin... thank you. For telling me all this. But you should know, you also caught me when I was falling down. Every time there was a danger, you...

With sobs I poured out my everything to him.

Yōurán: When I woke up, I felt that everything was not real. Like I wasn’t supposed to be here and the city would be in danger again... I felt anxiety all the time, but I didn’t want to be a burden so I kept everything to myself...

Gavin stopped me from saying more by pulling me into his embrace.

Gavin: You are not a burden. You’ll never be.

Yōurán: I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll do my best to get out of this despair...

All sorrows and doubts, loss and confusion, everything insecure washed away in tears and warm embrace.

15-9

As soon as we got back home, a piercing alarm was heard. At the same time, busy footsteps sounded in the hallway. It was a safety alarm sounding from the management office in the building. They have hardly ever raised the alarm before. What was going on…?

Announcement: A family living in this building has been infected by a highly contagious disease. They have been moved to a hospital. This building will undergo thorough disinfection while being in temporary quarantine. Residents are not to leave the building unless it’s an emergency.

Complaints started to be heard behind the doors.

Yōurán: Well thankfully tomorrow is Saturday, I don’t want to miss work…

I realized something as I said out loud. Temporary quarantine… does that mean Gavin has to stay at my house?

15-19

Gavin: That day when you were falling, for the first time I doubted that I could protect you.

His eyes dimmed for a moment.

Gavin: I promised myself that I would always protect you no matter what, but I couldn’t even control my evol fluctuation, nor bring you to safety.

Yōurán: It’s all right… You don’t have to talk about it.

I hugged him tight, wishing I could soothe his worries.

Gavin: Even without my evol, I can protect you. Please believe me.

I nodded my head firmly.

As soon as I grabbed his hand, a terrifying vision appeared before my eyes. Gavin was breathing painfully clutching at his chest. His face was pale and contorted. Winds rushed past him uncontrollably clawing at his clothes and flesh. What was happening?

The vision was gone as fast as they came.

Gavin: Are you alright? Is everything okay?

Yōurán: Ye, yes. I’m okay…

My brain was in turmoil, but an answer popped into my head. I could… predict what’s going to happen to people by just being in contact with them? I can… see other people’s future?

Then… what about that awful vision?

Gavin: Yōurán, look at me. It’s okay. There’s no need to be afraid.

Gavin forced me to look at him, his eyes filled with concern, but my head kept replaying that vision. Then all the pieces were put together to reveal the whole picture.

Yōurán: Gavin, are your powers… gone?

I could read complicated emotions in his eyes, although he hid it very fast.

Gavin: They’re not gone. Just… on a break for a while. It’ll get better.

15-22

Many guns were pointing at us. An entire rank was surrounding us. The smell of danger in the air was suffocating. They all had marks of the Special Task Force.

To me, they all looked like monsters. I wanted to ask them why they would do this. Why they were here, why they would shoot at a little child. I couldn’t understand why they were trying to harm us when they were supposed to be protecting us.

Gavin: Who did the shooting?

Gavin asked coldly while shielding me with his body.

Leto: It was on my order.

The Commander Leto made his appearance among the guns.

Gavin: But why…

Leto: They were just following the orders. If the target is potentially dangerous, it should be killed on the spot.

Gavin: You have no right to do that!

Gavin clenched his fists hard. His voice barely containing his anger but sounding deadly calm.

Leto: We have our ways. As your commander, I don’t have any obligations to explain my every action to you.

Gavin: But you have an obligation to explain the first rule of the STF. All bullets must only be fired for justice.

Leto: One day you will understand my way of justice, when you reach my position.

Gavin: I will have none of it! If such a thing is called justice, I defy it!

Gavin: From now on, there is no Agent B-7

Even when being pointed by the gun, the Commander remained unfazed.

Leto: Agent B-7 has betrayed the STF and obstructed our way of justice. I order his immediate arrest.

He disappeared and the agents closed in on us. Wind began to circle around us.

Yōurán: Gavin, don’t use your powers! You’ll hurt yourself!

Gusts of wind continued. Gavin keeled over, mustering all his strength painfully.

15-24

The motorbike carrying us sped across the highway. The STF agents were chasing us behind. I held on to Gavin more tightly, feeling his breathing and warm temperature. I could faintly smell blood.

Yōurán: How could they do such a thing?

I asked, trying to calm my trembling voice. Gavin stayed silent for a long time.

Gavin: Maybe the danger doesn’t necessarily come from the darkness. Perhaps the world that we thought we knew was dangerous all along.

What if the Special Task Force was the danger, I never even considered that. What would this mean to Gavin… His lifelong belief in justice have fallen apart in one instant.

Gavin: I’m going to bring you to safety and solve this once and for all.

I could sense his resolve in his words.

Gavin: Whether it be the Special Task Force, or Black Swan, I have to deal with all of them to ensure that you’re safe.”

His voice showed his determination, but I couldn’t stop thinking that things were going wrong. He must have sensed my anxiety, since he squeezed my hand wrapped around his waist.

Gavin: Trust me.

I nodded and leaned on his back, but then I saw Gavin alone, then he disappeared in front of my eyes, like I would never see him again. The vision shook me, and I couldn’t help asking out loud.

Yōurán: Will you leave without even saying goodbye?

Please don’t leave me.

Gavin: No, I promised.

Before I could reply, he interrupted me.

Gavin: Hang on, they caught up on us.

He sped up the motorbike.

A silver object flew through the air, right towards Gavin!

Before I could even form thoughts my body moved to shield Gavin.

Yōurán: !!!

Something sharp pierced my back. A cry of pain escaped from my lips. The ginkgo bracelet unclasped from my wrist from the impact. I held onto it tightly before it slipped from my fingers.

I clenched my teeth and tried to stop myself from making any sound. I could taste blood in my mouth.

Gavin: Yōurán!

He held on to me tight, but more and more people were chasing us. We were going to get caught. How would we get out of this?

We turned a curve and things became even worse. The road was broken halfway, leading to a precipice. There was nothing below but deep black sea.

Yōurán: Gavin…

I couldn’t breathe. I was losing my strength fast. I felt unbearable heat coursing through my blood.

Yōurán: Don’t… leave… me…

A bullet landed on the tire of the bike. We tumbled to the ground, but Gavin had me in his arms to shield me from the fall.

I used my fleeting strength to hold on to Gavin, clutching my ginkgo bracelet painfully tight.

Gavin silently retreated step by step while holding me, careful to avoid the bloodied wound on my back.

Suddenly, a row of military men appeared before us. Who were they?

I could feel Gavin stiffen.

???: So now I get to see you.

A very cold, machine-like voice devoid of emotion. Gavin’s fingers clutched me tighter.

Then he gently laid me down below a tree, then he took off his jacket and covered me with it.

Gavin: I’ll be back soon.

Just then, I was reminded of my vision of Gavin leaving me and disappearing. Tears were already flowing uncontrollably.

Yōurán: No… don’t…

Fear grabbed at my chest though I couldn’t explain why. I held on to Gavin’s hand. Please don’t leave me. Don’t go to that man. Please don’t be like my vision, all alone… don’t leave even without turning back, like I saw…

Gavin hugged me, shouldering all burdens of hurt and decision.

Gavin: I won’t leave you, ever.

He wiped my tears gently and smiled.

Gavin: Your bracelet is broken. I’ll mend it for you when I get back.

Yōurán: That’s a promise. Don’t break it…

Gavin: Yes, I always keep my promise to you.

His fingers slipped from my wrist. He wrapped his coat around me once more and stood up. I could only watch him going far away from me.

Gavin stood in front of the man, who resembled him but had an expression that brought chills to my bone.

???: Gavin, being weak is a crime. Even if you get out of here alive with her… she won’t live very long. But I can save her.

Gavin: What’s your condition?

???: Come with me and accept the NW plan.

Gavin: You still haven’t… given up on that plan… This is ridiculous!

Suddenly, a bullet was heard in the distance.

Yōurán: Gavin…

I couldn’t move a muscle. I had to struggle just to remain conscious to hear the conversation.

???: I’ll dispatch my men to guard her. Once you get your powers back, you can have her back.

Gavin: Is this what you wanted all along?

???: Yes. This is what you should have gone through since you were born. Your brother is no exception as well. Gavin, you have no choice here.

It felt like waves of heat was boiling inside my body. I strained my ear to hear Gavin’s answer, but couldn’t hear anything. It seemed like everything had stopped.

I could feel Gavin’s pain by the way he held himself.

Gavin: …Can you… do all your best to protect her?

Even being semi-conscious, his words were clear in my ear, and it hurt so much. I never knew it was this hurtful to see someone break his belief.

Yōurán: No… don’t compromise because of me…

I spoke out as loud as I could, but it was even less than a whisper.

???: Did you reach your decision?

Gavin didn’t answer. Silence ensued. I wanted to open my eyes to see his face but it was in vain. I was slowly losing consciousness. With the last of my strength, I clutched my ginkgo bracelet that connected us both.

Yōurán: Gavin… don’t…

15-26

Her breathing finally went back to normal. The fever was down, the wound was taken care of, but she kept frowning. Maybe because she sensed something.

Gavin gently stroked her face, following the trails of dried tears, and his fingers lightly touched the fixed ginkgo bracelet on her wrist.

Gavin: This is not a goodbye, so…

He knew she couldn’t hear him, but still he went close to her ear.

Gavin: please wait for me.

Soft wind caressed the leaves outside the window. She was alone in her room.

   Someone was saying something in my ear, but I couldn’t hear anything.

I opened my eyes and found myself lying in my bedroom.

Yōurán: Gavin--!

Only an empty echo returned to me. I looked down and saw Gavin’s coat covering me. The coat had tiny bloodmarks, but the owner wasn’t here.

The fever and the pain was gone, the wound was almost healed. But everything that happened was not a dream nor an illusion.

The coat had long lost the warmth of the wearer.

Gavin didn’t come to me to explain that this was all a nightmare.

He didn’t even come to say he would be with me.

I looked at the sparkling bracelet. It had no trace of ever being broken. It’s as if it was telling me that everything was just my imagining. I stroked the bracelet, hoping I could feel his familiar presence.

Did Gavin fix it for me? Did he keep my promise?

A single tear dropped on the ginkgo leaf.

Where did he go?

Why did he disappear, leaving only the bracelet behind?

Why couldn’t I find him?

I searched the house, every nook and cranny. If only he would appear outside my window with the wind. If only he would smile at me again with his amber eyes, saying “I’m back.”

I searched everywhere but couldn’t find him.

In a secluded laboratory. Many people wearing white uniforms were doing last preparations in an orderly manner.

A young man stood amongst many lines and data. His face was impossibly pale underneath the cold light. But his eyes were calm, observing everything around him.

???: Are you ready?

The youth replied coldly.

Gavin: Yes.

Gavin could see her spouting blood in front of his eyes along with many other memories.

Gavin: Wait for me, Yōurán

A sharp ray of light landed slowly, aiming for his heart. The readings from the electrocardiogram began to fluctuate violently… then it became a straight line.

******************************

If you think chapters 11~14 is angst overload, you are sadly mistaken. It seems the writers are determined to make us miserable in chapters 15~18.

We were led to think that the story would become Special Task Force vs Black Swan as good vs evil. But it’s revealed that STF is not that good either. Through investigating a certain case Gavin and MC learns that STF will go through any means to ensure what they call “order”. They use even a small child and is not hesitant to sacrifice that said child because he has “potential for danger.”

Gavin is a man of justice. He dedicated his life to work for justice for MC, to protect her and make the world she live a good place. But now he learns that the organization he belongs in is involved with unethical law enforcement. If justice can only be maintained by sacrificing individual rights and lives, it is not justice at all.

So the STF, which was supposed to be the good guys helping MC and Gavin fight the bad guys, are now dangerous just like Black Swan.

The ??? is actually Gavin’s father. God, I hate that man. Gavin is forced to join his father in the military to save MC. And this is a thing that is so so against Gavin’s belief of justice and morality.

But he goes through with it anyway, for MC. In chapter 15 it is revealed that his evol fluctuation being out of control is not quite solved yet. He is hesitant to use his powers and loses his confidence that he can protect MC. His doubt of his ability to protect her (and a few other things) led him to be overprotective and hide information again. Gavin and MC clash over this but this all looks like a cute lover’s quarrel when the chapter ends. When the STF try to kill Gavin and MC, he uses his powers to protect her, despite knowing it will harm him. His powers being volatile is also the reason he agreed with his father. And he undergoes some kind of dangerous experiment to empower his evol.

(By the way what kind of experiment are they doing to him. From description it seems like some sort of razor shot Gavin and his heart rate stopped...??)

MC’s powers of precognition is getting stronger. Now she can read people’s future by being in physical contact with them, enabling to use her powers on a somewhat conscious level. 

Ever since she saw the vision of Gavin leaving her, there are many sentences describing MC refusing to let him go. Holding him tight while riding the motorcycle to escape. Grabbing on to Gavin’s sleeves. Loosing blood and being delirious with fever but still begging Gavin to not leave. Clutching the bracelet tight to keep it from slipping from her fingers.

And now only the bracelet remains with echoes of promises.

Oh, and it’s confirmed in this chapter that the ginkgo bracelet that Gavin gave to her doesn’t have any tracker whatsoever. Many people was put off by this but rest assured now! Gavin says with his own words “With or without the bracelet, I can feel you in the wind and find you.”

I remember reading in an event story somewhere that when Gavin was making the bracelet as a gift to MC, his friend (I don’t remember if it was Eli or Minor) teased him being all “You gonna give that to your girlfriend? How romantic! I always knew you were a softie!” And Gavin, not exactly a people person, and who was still hesitant with MC in that time, somehow thought that giving the tracker excuse would be less embarrassing.

I’m gonna stop here until my ramblings actually get longer than the story.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Nightmare World

A Stitched Story

JSE Fanfic

WOW. OKAY, PRETTY SURE THIS IS MY LONGEST FIC EVER. INCOMING. FAIR WARNING. No, seriously, this came out really long. I haven’t compared it in length to others yet, but yeah. So here’s that warning for you. It’s just...this part had a lot of ground to cover and I’m pretty sure a lot of the impact would be lost if I split it up. So, you get extra-long story this time! Read all about how we finally get the good doctor back into action in this AU

Tagging @septic-dr-schneep for inspiring this AU with this post.

Read where it started: Stitched Together | Season One

Previous season two stories: No Strings on Me

Jack woke up to a piece of folded paper hitting him in the face. Actually, he’d already been sort of semi-awake, but the paper landing surprised him to full wakefulness. He opened his eyes and pushed away the paper to see JJ staring at him, already fully-dressed. He waved, then pointed at the paper and left, closing Jack’s bedroom door behind him.

With a sleepy sigh, Jack looked over at his clock. 12:30 pm. His sleep schedule had been messed up ever since he...got back. He didn’t want to fall asleep at night in the dark, so he stayed up way too late and slept in way too much. Chase also overslept now, but he actually went to bed super early. Trying to catch up on all the sleep hours he lost. Well, it wasn’t like either of them had any obligations anymore, since they still hadn’t gone back to their jobs. Technically, both of them were still missing persons cases. As much as Jack wanted for everything to go back to normal, he wasn’t sure how to explain to the police that he’d been kidnapped by a demon for a month until one of his friends somehow got magic, then the two of them proceeded to rescue their other friend from the demon’s control. So, they didn’t try at all.

Jack unfolded the piece of paper. There was a note written on it in JJ’s handwriting. Good morning Jack. I’m sorry for waking you up like this, but I believe I’ve found something important, specifically in regards to Henrik’s condition. If you would please get ready and meet Chase and I in the living room, that would be appreciated. ♡

When did he have time to find something? Probably while the other two were still sleeping, actually. Jack let his head hit the pillow with a soft thwump, taking a few deep breaths. He didn’t want to get up, but he supposed it had to be done. So he pushed into a sitting position and stood up, getting ready to start another day.

A shower, a change of clothes, and a bowl of cereal later, Jack walked into the apartment’s front room. Chase was already awake. That is, in the sense that his eyes were open and he was sitting on the couch. He looked still asleep otherwise, yawning and in pajamas. Jack noted that even though he otherwise wasn’t dressed, he was wearing his bandanna and wristbands. Understandable.

Jack sat down on the other side of the couch. Chase blinked at him. “G’mornin’,” he mumbled.

“It’s like one in the afternoon, but good morning Chase,” Jack said.

Chase nodded, not saying anything back. On an impulse, Jack closed his left eye, activating that weird sort of vision that he still hadn’t figured out. The world turned black and white, and he could see the yellow light inside Chase’s chest. It had...had these sort of grooves in it, ever since they managed to break the strings connecting him to Anti. But every day, they were getting less...angry. Jack wondered sometimes if this weird vision let him see people’s minds, but then wouldn’t the light be in the head? He was still working on several theories.

A sudden appearance of a blue light made Jack turn his attention to JJ, who’d just entered the room. His light was a bit different too. When he wasn’t using his new magic, little discs of the same color tended to float around the light. Jack shook himself, then opened his left eye again, letting normal sight return. JJ was holding one of the magic books they’d retrieved from the shop a month and a half ago. He also had a pad of paper and a pen. They’d been trying to teach Chase sign language, but it was slow going, so they stuck with pen and paper for now.

“Hey, James,” Jack said. “So...what’s all this about? You said you found something?”

JJ nodded eagerly. He flipped through the book, stopping at a page near the end. He put the open book down on the couch in between Jack and Chase, so they could both lean over and read it. The writing was small, and there were some strange pictures, but the entry title was large enough to read easily: The Nightmare.

“What’s this?” Chase’s eyes were wide.

JJ dropped the pad of paper on top of the entry, letting the other two read what he’d already written. I was scanning through this book this morning, and found it had a section on other worlds, that sort of orbit our own like a solar system. Apparently this one is known as The Nightmare. It’s a world where your own dark thoughts and fears shape the environment, making it, essentially, just like a bad nightmare. Just one you experience while you’re awake. It’s said that the physical body cannot access this world, only the soul. When the body is left behind it will be basically lifeless, and the entry describes ones who are stuck in the Nightmare as having “empty, dripping eyes.” It’s said that in the past, black magic magicians would send the souls of their enemies there. I don’t know about you, but to me these facts seem to fit what happened to Henrik.

Jack looked at Chase, noticing he’d suddenly paled. He pushed the note aside and scanned the entry really quick. His finger traced a sentence, which Jack followed along in reading. ‘Some magicians may use crystals or flat, reflective surfaces as windows into the Nightmare, in order to spy upon those they’d sent there.’ “I...I think you’re right.” Chase shuddered. “But if that’s the case, how do we get him back? Can—can we even...?”

“There has to be a way.” Jack looked at JJ, who was already writing.

The only way out of the Nightmare is to create an exit, he wrote. But we can’t make an opening on this side and wait for Henrik to come out. From this world, you can only make ENTRANCES to the Nightmare. Exits can only be made from within. It’s why the Nightmare is such an effective way to get rid of enemies, if cruel. Any openings are one-way.

“So...” Chase tucked his arms in close, pulling on his wristbands. “You’re saying...we’d have to go in and get him.”

JJ paused, then nodded slowly.

All the color drained from Jack’s face. “We...we have to go—go to a-a-a dimension that’s designed to—it makes all our bad dreams come to life.”

Not just bad dreams, but bad experiences and fears too. JJ looked back and forth between the two of Jack and Chase, both of whom were pale and trembling. You don’t have to. I’m the one with the ability to open the entrance and exit, I can go on my own.

“No.” Chase shook his head. “No, no, you can’t go on your own. Nobody should go on their own. I—I can come. And—and Henrik is in there, and it’s my fault—stop shaking your head, I know it isn’t really but I still feel like it is, and—and if I can reverse this, I’ll...I’ll feel better about it.”

Jameson stared at him for a moment longer, then nodded again. He looked over at Jack with a curious head tilt. Jack stared back. He should want to help Schneep. He did. But...if he thought about travelling to a place that would deliberately take him back to his worst memories, back to what he worst feared...”I’m sorry, I just—I can’t,” he whispered. He fought the urge to rub his right eye. He’d had it back for barely two weeks, just half the time he’d been without it. He was still getting re-used to it.

“That’s okay,” Chase said softly. “I get it. You don’t have to make yourself.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack muttered.

“It’s okay, Jack,” Chase repeated. He hesitated for a moment, the reached over and put his hand on Jack’s shoulder. Even though it wasn’t a lot, Jack knew it was hard for Chase to even do that much. The gesture melted his heart a little.

“Alright,” Jack said shakily. “Alright.” He looked up at JJ. “When...when were you planning to do this?”

JJ took a moment to write. As soon as possible, honestly. Just enough for you to get ready.

“That seems like a good idea,” Chase nodded. “I think...if I think about it too long, I might start having doubts. Just let me get dressed and stuff. Do you need anything? To make the entrance?”

JJ shook his head. It’s a surprisingly simple spell material-wise. But it may expend a lot of energy.

“Okay.” Chase closed his eyes, folding his arms. “I guess we’re really doing this, huh? Better sooner than later. Let’s go.”

An hour later, they reconvened inside the apartment’s guest room, where Schneep was still stuck. Chase had taken to sleeping on the floor in this room. His makeshift bed, created from loose blankets and pillows, now had a matching twin next to it. Jameson had explained that while their souls were in the Nightmare their bodies would be unconscious, unresponsive. So Jack had set up a place for them to lie down, so that their bodies would be safe and out of the way. Now, he was sitting in the chair next to the bed, watching Chase and JJ get ready for their journey. He couldn’t quite believe this was happening. It was...so fast. “You...you’re both sure?”

JJ nodded, eyes full of determination. Chase took a deep breath. “Yeah...yeah I am.” He looked at JJ. “So...how do we start this?”

Jameson lay down, gesturing for Chase to do the same, which he did. JJ then took a steady breath, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Symbols flickered into existence above the two of them, drawn in blue light. They organized into circles, one above Jameson and one above Chase, written in concentric ripples that slowly revolved around the circles’ centers. Around the edges of each circle, four blue triangles started glowing, pointing toward the circle. Jameson and Chase began breathing slower. They stopped fidgeting and moving, becoming completely still. Eventually, the runic designs dissipated. Jack leaned closer. Glowing blue tears were dripping from underneath both of their eyelids.

“Please come back safe,” he muttered, knowing they couldn’t hear him. He laughed a bit. “I...kind of expected more to happen there, honestly. But I guess you’re not gonna disappear or anything...”

He looked back toward the bed. Schneep was as lifeless as ever. “All of you better come back,” Jack said. “I don’t...think I could handle this on my own.” He took a deep breath, pulling his feet up on to the chair and hugging his knees close. There was nothing to do now but wait. Wait...and hope.

Chase didn’t open his eyes. He didn’t need to. The sight before him fizzled into existence, the way a dream might come into being. He was standing on a flat expanse of black rock, its surface littered with patches of black gravel, pebbles, and chunks of stone. It extended as far as the eye could see. There was no sky above, simply gray. Chase spun around. He couldn’t see anything, not until he made a full turn and saw Jameson fading into being, like a ghost. Also similar to a ghost, he didn’t quite look solid. Instead, he was slightly transparent. JJ looked around, stopping when he saw Chase. He gave him a wave.

“So this is it, huh?” Chase asked.

{I think it has to be.}

Chase yelped, stumbling away. “What just—did you hear that?”

JJ’s eyes widened. He looked frantically around. {I didn’t hear anything, is this something that just Chase can hear, or is my hearing going? Oh, that would be perfect, wouldn’t it? Already lost one way to communicate with people, let’s take the rest away.}

“Wait...” Chase blinked. “Wait, JJ. I think...I think I can hear you.”

{What? No, that’s not possible, he can’t be hearing me. Unless he’s picking up on my thoughts?}

“I think I am picking up on your thoughts, dude!” Chase’s words were all the confirmation JJ needed, whose eyes widened. “Look, this place...we’re not in our bodies right now, right? So I guess we’re able to communicate mind-to-mind.” Chase went silent for a second. He wanted to try...{So maybe I don’t even need to talk either?}

{Oh my god.} Jameson took a few steps back, hand clasping over his mouth in shock. {Oh my god, you can hear me. I can hear you. But wait!} He stopped. {If we’re not in our bodies right now, then...what are these?} He indicated himself, and Chase. {They look like us, but maybe they’re merely projections?}

“Maybe,” Chase shrugged. “Hey, in, like, movies and shit like this, the people are able to change their outfits and appearance. Do you think that...?” He looked down at his projected body. It looked just like him, wearing the same outfit he’d been wearing before entering the Nightmare, bandanna and wristbands included. It certainly felt real. He could feel the texture of his clothes against his skin. And he could feel the...maybe he could...change that? Get rid of them? But when he concentrated, wishing with all his might, his appearance stayed the same. {Oh...I guess...I’m stuck like this then.}

{This is the Nightmare, Chase.} Chase jumped, not realizing he’d somehow projected his disappointment. JJ was giving him a sympathetic look. {It’s not going to make life better for us. In fact, it’s probably going out of its way to make sure we’re not comfortable.}

“...yeah. That makes sense,” Chase sighed. “I just...got my hopes up.” He adjusted his bandanna. “So anyway. How are we gonna find the doc in here? I don’t want to be stuck here for longer than we have to be.”

{I’m not quite sure. Maybe I could try a tracking spell? I don’t know if it will work in here, but it’s better than nothing.}

“Yeah, you do that.” While Jameson closed his eyes and started concentrating on the tracking spell, Chase looked around. “Is...is it just me, or does this place look different now?”

There were trees now. Twisted, messed up trees with white or black bark. The ground was shooting out black grass and undergrowth was slowly growing into existence. The “sky” above was now shot through with squares of black and white, like—like static. And everything was eerily silent.

Jameson looked around. {The Nightmare is shaped by its inhabitants. It’s taking our memories and fears and creating a bad dream, if you will.}

“I’m not scared of a forest,” Chase muttered. “What about you?”

{They...make me a little...uneasy, yes. Deep dark forests, where all you can see are trees...and it looks like the Nightmare knows that.} More trees were popping up, closer and closer together. {Oh! Wait, I got it, it’s working!} The tracking spell had spun into being, a blue disc. It hovered in the air before setting off in a direction, a little faster than walking speed. {Come on, we can’t lose it!} JJ set off after it indicating for Chase to follow.

The monochrome forest was in full effect now, the trees so close that Chase and JJ could barely walk next to each other. Their white branches stretched high, lacing through each other to form a lattice that blocked out most of the sky above (which was now definitely static). Undergrowth reached up and grabbed at their legs, causing them to trip and stumble. When Chase tried to touch one of the tree trunks, the bark peeled and distorted, almost glitching. His hand started to sink into the tree and he barely managed to pull it out. JJ found he was walking much closer to Chase than the rules of personal space would dictate, but he didn’t care. His eyes darted around. It was getting dark beneath the trees.

“Where’s this thing even going?” Chase asked.

JJ shrugged. {Hell if I know. Last time I used it, I just followed it and it worked.}

“Wait, did you just say ‘hell’?” A smile quirked at the edge of Chase’s mouth. “I thought you didn’t swear.”

{...oh.} JJ looked faintly embarrassed. {Well, I don’t say the words, or didn’t, rather, but sometimes it’s hard not to think them, being surrounded by people who swear regularly.}

“I am so telling Jack about th—”

Crack!

The ground broke apart, chunks of black rocks falling away like something from a disaster movie. Below, there was nothing but an endless void. At the bottom there was static, just like the sky. Chase shouted, jumping away from the crack and into JJ, who stumbled with the surprise heaviness of having to catch him. Apparently weight was still a factor in the Nightmare.

There was only a moment of respite. After the first crack, more followed, sinkholes opening up, chunks of the forest falling away. Behind them, the ground collapsed, trees and their roots flailing into oblivion. {Run!} JJ screamed. Chase didn’t hesitate to follow his advice. All around them, the world was breaking apart, everything was crumbling and falling—

—until there was only chunks left.

It looked like they were standing on top of spires, which were anchored in the void. The ground was still black stone, with the occasional stubborn tree clinging to its pebbly surface. A few rocks floated freely in the air, like stepping stones across the sea of static. Not too far away, maybe half the length of a football field, the solid ground resumed, more endless black stone, forming rolling hills covered in long black grass.

“Oh fuck,” Chase whispered. Despite himself, he leaned over the edge, immediately backing up. “Oh fuck.”

{Afraid of heights, then?} JJ asked.

“Yeah. I didn’t think it was that bad, though.”

{Well, I hate to tell you this, but we’re going to have to keep moving.} JJ pointed. The tracker spell had been unaffected by the change of environment, and was keeping its steady pace toward the solid ground.

“I...okay.” Chase tried to move, but found someone had glued his feet to the ground. He looked at the floating stepping stones, the only way to get off their current spire and on the way toward following the tracking spell, and a paralyzing fear coursed through him.

{It’s going to be fine, Chase,} Jameson said reassuringly. {If it helps, get on your hands and knees and just crawl over the gaps.}

“Right. Right.” Slowly, Chase lowered himself to the ground, feeling a bit more steady now. “Just...take this one step at a time. No shame. Just go.”

Somehow, they managed to climb over the stepping stones and spires and back onto solid ground, whereupon Chase collapsed in the shin-length black grass. “I am...never doing that...ever again,” he said. “No more heights. Not even Ferris wheels. No more. I’m staying on the ground.”

{But you made it, at least,} JJ said encouragingly.

“Barely. Fuck. How are you so calm?”

{I just...have to focus on the bigger picture. It’s calming.} JJ scanned the area around them. {We were a little slow. The tracker’s far ahead of us. Do you feel up to walking?}

“Y-yeah, just...” Chase pushed to his feet, his legs a bit shaky. “Where’s the thing?”

{Just going over the next hill. Come on.}

They had just about reached the top of the hill when they heard the scream.

For a moment, they froze, looking at each other with wide, terror-filled eyes. They knew that scream. In unison, they burst into a run, cresting the hill and staring down into a slight valley caused by a dip between the hills.

The first thing they noticed was the beast. It looked something like a bear, but with a wolf’s head that had snake’s fangs in the mouth. Its fur was odd, mostly white, but every so often black interference and distortions would run across its body, and sometimes it would become just a static silhouette. It was running, black eyes locked onto its target that was sprinting across the valley. Said target was a man, with brown hair. Even though he was running as fast as he could, and even though the beast was half the valley’s length behind, it was easily closing the distance between the two of them.

“No!” Chase didn’t even think, just went, gravity lending him aid in his mad dash down the hill. His feet flew across the ground, and despite the long grass’s best efforts, he was not slowed.

He was only a few feet away when the beast finally caught up to its target, pouncing on the poor man and dragging him down with another scream. It roared in triumph, raising a paw that was covered in three-inch claws for the final swipe.

A blue circle came out of nowhere, slamming into the beast’s side with such force that it was actually knocked over. Lines of blue light dug into its hide, but it just roared, trying to make its way back to its prey. And so two more circles followed, piercing the beast, until with one final roar it collapsed.

Chase looked over his shoulder to see JJ not too far behind him, hand extended forward. His expression was one of complete and utter shock. Apparently he didn’t know he could do that. “Bro, that was badass,” Chase muttered. “Keep that in mind for the future.” He turned back around, covering the rest of the distance in a second. The beast’s target was still lying in the tall grass, arms flung over his face as if to protect it. Chase hesitated, then called, “Doc? Schneep?”

Schneep didn’t look much different that he had when he’d last seen him. After all, this wasn’t actually his real body, just a projection of his soul. It wouldn’t mimic any changes that happened in the real world. He was wearing the same clothes from before, and even his glasses. When he lowered his arms and looked around, Chase saw that his eyes were normal, blue, in this world. Eventually, those eyes noticed Chase staring, and locked on to him.

“Hey...” Chase said softly. “Schneep? Henrik?”

“Nicht wieder.”

Chase hadn’t known what he’d been expecting, but not that. Schneep was backing away from him, moving steadily backwards through the tall grass while never taking his eyes away. Chase blinked. “Doc...? Are you okay?”

“Nicht wieder.” Schneep shook his head. “Nicht wieder!” He suddenly picked up the pace, scrambling backwards in order to get as far away as possible from Chase.

“Henrik, it’s okay, it’s me!” Chase said, desperately trying to calm him down. He reached towards him, but Schneep just flinched away. “We’re here to get you out of this place.”

“Keine Tricks mehr!” Schneep shouted. “Halt dich von mir fern!” He backed away just a bit more, and suddenly the ground crumbled, stone turning into something more like sand. He sank right through it with an expression of surprise...and fear.

“Henrik!” Chase surged forward, but he was too late. The ground had re-solidified, and now there was a patch of blank stone in the field of grass. Chase could only stare at the spot, completely empty. He’d just found him, and then he lost him again. And he hadn’t even wanted to see him. In fact, he’d been afraid of him. What had he been saying? Chase had never really been one for languages. Wasn’t “nicht” something like “not”? Everything else had been too fast for him to pick up or recognize.

{Chase? Are...are you alright?}

He’d almost forgotten JJ was there. {I...don’t know,} he admitted, somehow not being able to say the words out loud.

{It’s...it’s going to be okay.} JJ forced some optimism into his mental voice. {You can’t die inside the Nightmare, so we can just use the tracking spell to find him again.}

“Well. After we used the spell the first time we ran into a creepy forest, an earthquake, and the stepping stones of doom.” Chase stared up at the static-filled sky. “Those are some high odds against us.”

{Well...} JJ frowned, then brightened with an idea. {Oh! So, this place takes our worst fears and turns them against us. Maybe if we tell each other what we’re afraid of, we’ll have a better chance of predicting what’ll happen next.}

“Maybe.” Chase shrugged.

{I’m going to start the spell again now.} The circling blue light began to gather again. {I do wonder what the deal was with that beast, you know.}

“Schneep’s afraid of wild animals,” Chase explained. “Anything with claws and teeth that isn’t a pet, or sometimes even is.”

{See, that’s the thing about fears. I bet that beast wouldn’t even exist if Henrik wasn’t afraid of animals like that. Tracking spell is up again.} The disc started off, slower this time. {It must not be too far, if the spell is this slow. Come on.}

They followed it through the field of grass, going up a hill and down another before the ground leveled out. “So. Fears, huh?” Chase said. “I...well, you saw I’m not a fan of heights. Also not the best with thunderstorms. You?”

{They all seem rather childish,} JJ mused. {I’m not a fan of the dark, or of blood, and, well, after March I developed a fear of needles.}

“That’s reasonable.” Chase nodded. “I...I don’t like eyes anymore. Like, the idea of being watch—” He stopped. Not only stopping his sentence but freezing in place. He looked around. “I could’ve sworn something was...” He shook it off. “Never mind.”

{What was it?} JJ asked.

“Nothing, I just...I thought—” He felt it again. This time he spun around wildly, looking for anything in the area that could have caused it. “I...it’s nothing. It—it has to be nothing.”

{What’s nothing?} The concern in Jameson’s voice was evident.

“It—it feels like something is—” Chase stumbled to the side with the force of the next pull. “What the fuck?!”  He looked down at his hands. The string. The length of green string had somehow slipped out from under the wristband on his right hand. And one of the blades of tall grass had wrapped around it, not in a way that could be explained as an accident. He stared at the grass as it pulled.

“No! Let go of me!” He yanked his wrist backwards, only to fall forwards, nearly toppling over, when the grass responded with a yank of stronger force. He gritted his teeth, doing his best to take deep breaths. His heart was pounding, remembering. No, this wasn’t the same thing. He wasn’t going to let it happen again. He grabbed the loose string with his other hand, trying to wrench it away. But the grass renewed its efforts, other blades joining in, twisting around the string and pulling down. “JJ! Help!” His voice broke.

Once Jameson realized what was happening he immediately jumped in, grabbing Chase’s arm and helping in this demented tug-of-war. But it wasn’t enough. The grass was creeping up the string, until suddenly it hopped over to Chase’s other wrist, digging beneath the band until it pulled out the other loose end and started tugging on that one too.

“It’s not enough!” Chase gasped. He blinked away the water in his eyes, he needed to see right now. He planted his feet firmly against the ground, but then he felt something wrap around his ankles. He looked down. It wasn’t the grass doing that. The ground had grown hands, and they were pinning him in place. “Stop it!” he shrieked, trying and failing to shake them off. “Jameson, please! Help!”

Jameson tried again, this time aiming to grab the strings away. But his hands passed right through them. His eyes widened, and he tried to pull Chase’s arms away, only to pass right through them as well. What was happening? He tried to mentally reach out to Chase, to explain, but Chase showed no reaction. He was just staring at him with tears in his eyes, wondering why he wasn’t doing anything to help him in his struggle. Jameson froze, paralyzed for a split second before reaching out towards Chase, his hands passing right through. He couldn’t—he couldn’t do anything. He could never do anything.

With a yelp, Chase was pulled forward, landing on his hands and knees among the grass. More hands sprouted out from the ground, grabbing his arms, making his skin crawl. “Stop! Stop it! Please!” They were a lot stronger than him. One reached up and pulled his bandanna off, wrapping around his neck, in an almost gentle manner. The tears were flowing freely now. “Jameson—anyone! Help!” Chase gasped.

He was trying, he really was. But every time Jameson tried to pry the hands away, or drag Chase away from him, he slipped right through, like he wasn’t even there. All he could do was watch. No, no there had to be another way. There had to be something he could do besides just reach out and try and slip and fail, he had to do something, he had to do something—

There was a burst of blue light. It radiated outward in a series of concentric circles, each wave breaking apart the black grass and the black stone. It didn’t last more than a few seconds, but when it was over, JJ and Chase were in the middle of a blank circle of black rock, the air around them shimmering with particles of blue. Chase was laying on the ground, curled up and shuddering with tears. JJ was still standing, though he quickly knelt by his friend’s side. He hesitated for a split second, then placed a hand on Chase’s shoulder. Chase quickly flinched away, and JJ yanked his hand back, but a wave of relief crashed through him anyway. Whatever had happened must have ended. {Chase...?} JJ called. {Chase, I’m here. It’s over now.}

“It’s over now,” Chase repeated. “It’s over now. It’s over now.” After a few moments, Chase sat up. He picked up his bandanna from where it had fallen and retied it around his neck. He tucked the loose strings back under the wristbands. “That...I...I can see why this place is the Nightmare. I didn’t...”

{Didn’t even think about that,} JJ finished. {Me neither. I suppose I was thinking rather...shallowly, when I thought about worst fears.}

Chase wiped his eyes. “We gotta get Schneep out of here. He’s been here for...what, three and a half months? Fuck, dude. We have to.”

{I lost the tracking spell.} JJ looked around. The disc was nowhere in sight. {I can make another one, but...}

“How did you do that, though?” Chase asked. JJ looked confused, so he continued. “That thing, right there. You, like, stopped everything.”

{I...don’t know.} JJ stared into the static sky. {It was just...something that happened, when I thought about how much I should be doing to help you. That seems to be how this new magic of mine works. Its primary concern is to help others, specifically those I consider my friends.}

“Well, that’s cool, I guess.” Chase shrugged.

{If I’m going to have a magic geared toward a single purpose, there are worse purposes to aspire to.}

“But...okay, if that’s how it works...” Chase bit his lip as he thought. “Could you...maybe find some way to, like, teleport us to where Schneep is? Instead of having to walk across this hellscape?”

JJ blinked. {Maybe...} He closed his eyes. It couldn’t be too hard. That’s what his magic is for, after all. And if they could find the doctor instantly, they could help him easier. JJ took a deep breath, placing his hands flat on the rocky surface of the ground. Almost instantly, circles began pulsing blue around them, gently spreading color through the stony landscape. The two of them felt the ground shift, and then it gave way. They fell for who knows how long, but eventually they landed on a hard surface with an oof-inducing thump.

Chase stood up first, taking in their new surroundings. They were...uncomfortably familiar. A long hallway of black walls, red lightbulbs dangling from the ceiling providing the only illumination. The sound of static crackled through the air. It looked and felt like an simpler version of the halls in Anti’s lair. Chase shuddered. At least this one didn’t have eyes.

JJ clambered to his feet. {Well. Where to now?}

“Well. Left or right?”

{The static is coming from the right.}

“That way, then.” If this place mimicked fears and bad memories, then there was nothing that fell into those categories better than Anti. And static was a side effect of him, so it seemed like a safe bet.

But as the two of them walked toward the static, they began hearing more than just the white noise. There were...voices. In the static. They sounded angry, and...familiar. Eventually, the hallway opened up into a dead-end square room. Chase and JJ stopped in the doorway, processing the sight before them.

Schneep was in the center of the room, on his knees. He was bent over, and his arms were wrapped around his head, hands pressed to his ears. Around him were vague static silhouettes, the shape of a human. Sometimes they’d flicker and become an actual person. The static in the room was deafening, but it couldn’t drown out the angry voices, each of which came from one of the silhouettes.

“D͏i̸e̸!͡”

“Di̡e ̵i̧n͢ a̵ fir͞e!”

“Yóu'́r̡e ̸w̧e̴ak.”

“Y̵ou'́r̴e a ͟f̡ai̴l̡u̷re̵!̕”

“All ̶y̧ou͠ do is h̷u̧r̀t͡ p̶ȩople̛!”

“Es tut mir Leid.” Schneep sounded like he was sobbing. “Es tut mir Leid!”

{Chase...} JJ said hesitantly. {That’s your voice.}

Chase nodded slowly, listening to the silhouettes—which, he now recognized, were him, if he’d been filled with static.

“Dr͝ow͏n ̶an͠d̨ d̵ię!̨”

“L̶ia͡r.”

“T̴r͢ait̵o̸r̨.”

“M͞uŕd̀e̸r̛e̕r̵.”

“Es tut mir Leid, es tut mir Leid!” Schneep wailed. “Bitte vergib mir!”

{I don’t understand. What’s—}

“He shot me,” Chase remembered.

{He what?!}

“It—it was Anti’s plan,” Chase explained. “Anti can’t go after people unless they’re mentally weak. And he thought Schneep was pretty mentally strong, so he thought...that the best way to get inside his head was to make him feel guilty. Like...like if he shot one of his best friends. So, he made a plan to trick him into doing that.” Chase fell silent. “I think he thinks he killed me.”

JJ looked absolutely stunned at this news. {I...I didn’t know.}

“Of course you didn’t.”

{Why didn’t you tell Jack and I?}

“Because...I don’t know.” Chase closed his eyes. “Because this is why I think it’s all my fault, and you’re both so insistent on saying it’s not that it would feel...it would feel like a ‘ha, so there’ moment. Then you would instantly try to say it’s not, and it would feel...hollow. Like you’re reassuring a kid.”

{Chase.} Jameson’s tone made Chase open his eyes again. {Our reassurances are not hollow platitudes. It was Anti’s plan. And he used you for it. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault. But...I can see how you can think it was. So, in that case, if you wish to make everything right...} Two blue circles spun out of nowhere. {Then I think doing something like this will do just that.}

Chase stared at him. Then his eyes hardened. “Well, then. You’re gonna do the stop-everything thing?” JJ nodded. “Then do it.”

Jameson turned away from Chase and back toward the room. The circles grew in brightness, lines of runes shooting outward. Then they flew forward, bursting and filling the room with blue light. When the light faded, the silhouettes were gone, and so was the static. Schneep was left in the same position as before, slightly rocking a bit.

Chase ran into the room, JJ right behind. The two of them knelt next to Schneep, who had his eyes shut tight. Chase hesitated for a moment. He didn’t want to say anything, that would no doubt have a negative reaction after what just happened. So instead, he slowly reached out and wrapped one arm around Schneep. The contact made him bite back a crawling, itching wave of discomfort, but fuck it. He could handle a minute for his friend.

It seemed to work. Schneep relaxed, if only a little bit. He slowly blinked open his eyes, though he didn’t take his hands away from his ears. The first thing he saw was JJ, sitting next to him. JJ gave a little wave, a flutter of the fingers. He didn’t say anything either, maybe because Schneep would’ve freaked out at hearing a voice in his head.

Schneep tilted his head, eyes narrow. Wary, suspecting a trick. He realized that someone must’ve been holding him, and craned his head backwards. Upon seeing it was Chase, his eyes widened. His mouth opened, but nothing came out except for a strangled squeak.

“It’s fine,” Chase murmured. “It’s fine.” And he didn’t say anything else.

After a tense moment, Schneep seemed to realize Chase wasn’t going to shout at him like the silhouettes had. He slowly removed his hands from his ears, still bracing for a sudden attack. Still nothing. “Es tut mir Leid,” Schneep muttered.

Chase knew that one. He was pretty sure it meant something like ‘I’m sorry.’ “It’s okay,” he said. “I forgive you.” Because that was what Schneep needed to hear. Even if what had happened had all been a trick, he still felt guilty for it. So, it was time to ease that just a bit.

Schneep crumpled. He leaned against Chase, burrowing his face in his shirt. Chase didn’t move. He was afraid that if he did, his screaming instincts would take over and he would push Schneep away. And nobody wanted that right now.

After a few moments, Schneep pulled back. “We’re going to take you home,” Chase said. “Are you ready to go home?”

Tears instantly welled up in Schneep’s eyes. He nodded.

“Alright, then. JJ? You ready?”

Jameson nodded. He lay down on the floor, and Chase and Schneep followed his lead. A similar runic design from making the entrance appeared above each of them, though now the runes were different, and the triangles pointed outward. There was a flash of blue light, and the Nightmare was empty.

They’d entered the Nightmare at a little after two in the afternoon. It was now approaching six, and Jack still hadn’t moved. Well, he’d gotten a snack and grabbed his phone, but that was the only time. He was afraid that if he wasn’t there, something could happen to them. He didn’t know what, but when dealing with Anti anything was possible.

He was starting to worry, but then the blue light appeared. At first a gentle glow, outlining all of their bodies. Followed by an increase in intensity, then a flash. Chase flew into a sitting position, gasping. He took a few deep, shuddery breaths, then grabbed the nearest blanket and wrapped it around him. JJ sat up a bit slower, shaking his head. He brushed away the remains of the blue tears that had appeared when they’d entered the Nightmare. He looked at them curiously, then shrugged.

“You’re back!” Jack gasped. “What happened? Did you...?”

A small sound, halfway between a whimper and a groan, came from the bed. Jack stiffened, then spun around in the chair. Schneep was blinking his eyes. The static was gone, it was just regular blue, and he was blinking. His hand came up, slowly, trembling, and wiped away the last of the static tears. Unlike Chase and JJ, they’d left a permanent mark. There was now scarred lines, mimicking the shape of tears, following the path the static had taken. But he was—he was awake.

“Hen?” Jack asked, almost scared to say anything. “H-Henrik?”

Schneep’s head rolled towards him. “...Jack?” His voice was hoarse and rough, but he’d said something.

“Henrik!” Jack grabbed Schneep’s hand in excitement. “You’re back! Oh thank fucking god, you’re back! Oh my god!” A massive weight had just been lifted from his shoulders. Breathing was a bit easier now.

“Jack.” Schneep squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them wide again. “Something is wrong. Something is wrong.”

Jack’s smile faded a bit. “What’s wrong?”

“I cannot—I cannot see you.”

His heart stopped. Jack could only gape for a moment. He looked back at JJ and Chase, still sitting on the floor, but they looked as shocked as he was. “You...you can’t?” Jack asked. “Can you...see anything at all?”

Schneep hesitated for a moment. “Statisch.”

You didn’t have to know German to figure out what that meant. “And that’s—that’s all you can see?”

Schneep nodded. “It is everywhere.” His eyes were moving, rapidly darting back and forth and up and down. “I cannot—I can hear, I can feel, but I cannot—where am I?”

“You’re in my apartment,” Jack said. “Do you...do you know what happened?”

“Chase—”

“I’m right here,” Chase piped up. He climbed to his feet, walking over to stand next to Jack. “You missed an epic rescue mission.”

Schneep laughed hoarsely. “I can tell, I can tell, your voice is back. You are...” The small smile he’d gained dropped away again. “Chase, I had—I had very strange dreams. I am—I’m sorry.”

“They weren’t dreams,” Chase said sadly. “It’s...a long story. Maybe JJ can write out an explanation and we’ll read it to you. He’s a lot better at explaining things. And I told you I forgave you, didn’t I?”

Schneep’s eyes got watery at that. “Thank you,” he whispered. Then, after a moment of silence, he started to move. “I need to sit up.”

“I don’t think you can, dude,” Jack said. “You haven’t really moved in, like, four months.”

“Four—?!” Schneep choked. “What happened? Did my muscles, did they waste away?”

“No, don’t worry, we all took care of that,” Jack said reassuringly. “Mostly JJ. Speaking of which...” Jack turned around. “Stop sitting on the floor and get over here! This is a tender moment you need to be a part of!”

JJ chuckled at that, standing up. He walked over to the other side of the bed and grabbed Schneep’s other hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

Schneep closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “There is nothing here,” he muttered. “And that is good.” He opened his eyes again, though he might as well have kept them shut. “What happened while I was asleep?”

Jack grinned. “Well. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

[alexboehm55144]

Alex Final Wars 2: Dark Alex, Chapter 14 - The Remanent Fleet

Despite Finals happening this week, I have found enough time to post another exciting chapter! First, Id like to thank @jafethortiz for once again providing a wonderful picture for this story! This time the picture is of the second in command of Heroes, Toothdee! As always I hope everyone is doing well, and if your studying for finals as I am, keep it up!

000000000

The storm was still battering the US fleet, forcing the team to wait for the weather to clear before they could finish off the rest of the Chinese armada. Nick & Judy were spending their time watching a movie in their cabin while cuddling & munching on popcorn. The bunny loved petting Nick’s soft tail, & spent most of the time looking at Nick.

“Come on carrots, your missing the movie. I’m not gonna constantly rewind it.”

“But Nick, I want to cuddle with you! Also, can you rewind it, I missed that last scene.”

“Somebunny can’t stay away from her fox.”

The rabbit rested her head on his chest and tried to fall asleep, but Nick kept teasing her & keeping her awake.

“Oh, let me sleep,” Judy said.

“I will, for a few kisses.”

The rabbit sat up and cupped her mate’s muzzle before leaning in.

“Attention all personnel,” Toothdee said through the intercom “the storm is weakening, we’ll be engaging the Chinese fleet soon.”

The couple groaned at their moment being interrupted, & realized they should probably go prepare their gear.

“Eh.... the war can wait,” Judy said, kissing her fox.

000

“We haven’t intercepted any radio traffic from the Chinese,” Toothdee said, steering the typhoon over an inland ocean channel that was filled with ice. “Maybe the snow or the cold is wreaking havoc with their instruments.”

The storm had partially cleared, but the snow was still falling & the sky was still obscured by dark clouds.

“Well, we’re ready should there be any Chinese resistance,” Alex said, him & JayJay sitting at gunner positions.

“Uh... I’m not sure I know how to operate this.” The wolf said, looking over the controls while Toothdee facepalmed.

“It’s easy JayJay, think of it as a game. Just select your viewpoint & use the controls to aim & fire. I’ve taught you this a hundred times.”

“Well, it’s nerve-wracking doing it for real.”

Alex stood up & walked over to the wolf’s control panel & began walking her through the operating process again, encouraging her with gentle words & pats on the shoulder.

“Hostile warship sighted!” Toothdee yelled, seeing the stern of a Chinese ship come into view through the falling snow. Alex raced back to his gunnery position and opened fire.

Shells & cannon fire began hitting the Chinese warship, but the fire from the typhoon soon stopped as the crew noticed something was off about this Chinese ship. It had been wrecked, crashed upon the frozen shore of the channel. The whole vessel was tipped slightly, and there was no sign of occupation.

Eris, Kion, & Jack entered the bridge and took in the view of the derelict ship.

“What happened to it?” Kion asked.

“It might have been wrecked from the storm,” Eris suggested

“Uh, guys?” JayJay spoke up.

Everyone turned to the wolf, who was pointing forward out the bridge window.

Looking up, the team saw more Chinese warships from the remanent fleet, some caught in thick ice, others simply sitting idle. A few had been docked at what appeared to be an abandoned structure nearby.

“What happened to them all?” Jack asked as the typhoon passed by one of the stranded ships.

“I guess the storm hit them pretty hard.” Toothdee said, “looks like they attempted to go ashore.”

“What’s that building anyway?” Eris said.

“Must be some old outpost, it’s made of wood so maybe it’s from the 1800s or early 1900s.”

“2 of those ships are still moving!” Kion said, spotting active vessels.

“Battle stations!” Alex yelled, prompting Eris, Jack, & Kion to jump into combat positions.

One of the warships opened fire, it’s cannons striking the side of the typhoon. The Hero ship returned fire while moving to cover behind an abandoned Chinese vessel. Managing to get into a favorable position, the typhoon blasted one of the warships and dealt heavy damage. As the hostile ship turned to face the typhoon, it was struck by missiles and shells, causing critical damage and making it crash into the nearby shoreline.

A few small fast attack craft joined the battle, firing at the typhoon alongside the larger warship.  The typhoon moved away from the Chinese ship, passing through a narrow corridor between an icy cliff & a derelict vessel.

“Target that cliff face!” Alex said as the enemy ship approached through the corridor. With sustained fire, the ice, snow, and rock on the cliff cascaded downwards onto the Chinese ship, pinning it against the other derelict ship. The avalanche even managed to take out a couple of the smaller craft.

“Light them up,” Toothdee ordered, the typhoon opening fire with all weapon systems. The Chinese warship broke apart and burst into flames. The presence of fire from the destroyed ships was a welcome sight in a landscape full of snow and ice.

The remaining craft withdrew, and the typhoon even managed to shoot a few down as they tried to retreat.

“See JayJay, was that so bad?” Alex said.

“No, it wasn’t as bad as I thought.” The wolf admitted.

“What’s the plan?” Jack asked.

“Toothdee, take us in for a ground expedition.” The captain said, to which Toothdee obliged, maneuvering the ship near the shore and setting it down. “Kion, go get Jasiri and have both of you suit up cold weather gear. Toothdee, prepare for an excursion. JayJay, you're in charge till we get back, Eris, Jack, keep a look out for hostile activity.”

Everyone nodded in agreement and went about performing their duties. The typhoon, and Heroes in general, was run like a well-oiled machine with people working together to accomplish a task. While at the same time maintaining a good relationship that served to strengthen the group.

The 4 squad members got ready to go ashore and destroy the remanent fleet once and for all.

000

For missions in cold climate, the kit for Heroes operatives differed from the normal kit. Gear and uniforms were colored with arctic camouflage, extra rations and equipment to start fires were packed into survival kits. Whoever was going out donned a heavy coat to keep warm, especially Alex, as humans lacked thick fur to retain heat. Snow goggles and masks covered their faces, and the team was ready for a battle in sub-zero temperatures.

Toothdee’s garb didn’t change much from her normal attire, as her species was capable of surviving in ice-cold environments.

Once the squad was ready, they set off through the forest, following tracks in the snow, along with using an intercepted Chinese radio call to guide them. Gunfire was also piercing the air, but the team was unable to figure out what the Chinese would be firing at.

“Toothdee, are you sure your comfortable?” Kion inquired, noting her lack of thick protective clothing.”

“I’m fine.” She assured him, “I don’t even feel cold.”

Kion shrugged and turned to Jasiri “what about you? Are you warm enough sweetie?”

“My nose is cold but other than that I’m fine.” The hyena said, the group continuing to trudge through the deep snow.

Kion pulled down his facial mask and gave the hyena a kiss on the nose, causing her to laugh. But the sound of laughter was interrupted by yelling in a foreign language.

“Hostile soldiers!” Toothdee said, the team getting ready for combat as a small group of Chinese infantry burst out of the nearby tree line, frantically running and looking behind them.

Thinking they were being ambushed, the group of heroes instinctively opened fire, downing the Chinese soldiers. The hostiles didn’t even get to fire a shot.

“Whew, better luck on your next ambush guys,” Kion said

“Did you just trash talk dead bodies?” Jasiri inquired.

“You know it didn’t exactly seem like they were ambushing us.” Toothdee said, “We fired at them out of instinct, but they were running from something.”

“Yeah, look at this guy, he only had his combat knife,” Alex said, examining the dead soldiers.

“What could have scared them? And more importantly, is it still here?” Kion asked, taking a look deep into the trees.

Jasiri proposed a theory.

“Maybe they mutinied or something, they could have been fed up with being lead up into this fringed environment.”

“In any case,” Alex said, “this should help us avoid any more surprises.”

The captain took out a small device that looked like a fat smartphone with a screen on one side. Turning it on, he aimed the device at his squad mates to verify that it worked, before attaching it to a tactical rail on the side of his gun.

“What’s that?” Kion asked, looking over the blue screen.

“Heartbeat sensor,” Alex responded, “It should detect any hostiles in the area.”

He aimed his weapon into the forest. A couple of red dots appeared on the screen.

“That’s 6 hostiles.”

One of the dots completely disappeared, indicating the individual had expired.

“Wait, now there’s 5.”

“Are they killing each other?” Jasiri wondered as the Heroes team watched the screen.

2 more dots disappeared, and the remaining 3 dots grew weaker and weaker until disappearing.

“So.... they’re all dead now?” Kion said, hoping he could get his hands on a heartbeat sensor at some point.”

“No,” captain Boehm said, looking towards the trees. “Did you notice how 3 of those dots got weaker instead of completely disappearing instantly? That means those individuals are still alive, but they’ve moved beyond the operational range of this device.”

“Let’s go see what’s happening,” Toothdee said, setting off into the forest with the other 3 behind her.

After traveling a short distance through the snow, the group came to a small clearing where the bodies of fallen Chinese soldiers were lying. Weapons and equipment were strewn about the area, and a few military working dogs the Chinese had been using also lay fallen in the cold snow.

“What happened to them?” Jasiri asked as the group examined the remains.

“Wild animal attack?” Kion hypothesized “there are wild wolves up here right?”

“These injuries aren’t consistent with wild animal attacks.” Alex said, looking at a body, “these marks don’t look like they’re from claws and teeth, but instead from.... melee weapons.”

“Who lives up here and has melee weapons?” Kion said, a quizzical look on his face.

“Plus if these were wild animals they would have stayed and eaten their fill.” Jasiri said, before muttering “disgusting” under her breath.

“It wouldn’t hurt to see if there were wolves out here though.” Alex said, standing up “it would be one less thing to worry about or one more thing to be aware of.”

The captain turned on his radio.

“JayJay, do you read me?”

“Hey, Alex.”

“This might seem like an odd request, but we want to know if there are any wild wolves in the area. So you think you could try howling?”

After a pause, JayJay responded.

“Uh... ok. I don’t want to start a howl though. Just hang on a sec.”

The radio call shut down briefly while JayJay headed out onto the deck of the typhoon to complete her task.

A long howl pierced the air for a few seconds, it’s sound stretching across the snowy landscape. Any wild wolves in the area would certainly hear it and respond with howls of their own.

“Sounds pretty,” Alex said to himself as the world grew quiet again. The silence remained for a few seconds as everyone waited for a return howl.

“Nothing,” JayJay said “there’s no one out here.”

“Understood, thank you JayJay.”

“Anytime Alex.”

“Well, we’re still a ways from that intercepted radio call,” toothdee said, “let’s get going.”

As they walked the team continued to discuss exactly what happened to those Chinese soldiers.

“So if it wasn’t wild wolves, maybe it was a wild mountain lion?” Kion hypothesized.

“No, the injuries are not consistent with a wild animal attack,” Toothdee said before Alex's heartbeat sensor began to display some signatures. Slowly moving forward, the team came across a small group of Chinese soldiers, unaware of their presence. A military dog barked at where the group was hiding, but his handler held the dog back and assumed he was barking at a wild squirrel or another animal.

An opening volley of grenades took out a few of the soldiers, and bursts of gunfire from toothdee and Jasiri downed even more. Alex and Kion raced forward and finished off the last few soldiers with their blades.

As the team was getting ready to move on Alex noticed some odd footprints in the snow. The rest of the group came over and examined the tracks, which definitely didn’t belong to any Chinese soldiers.

“Wait a sec.” toothdee said, planting her foot in the snow next to one of the tracks, leaving a footprint of her own. After she removed her foot the team looked between Toothdee’s impression in the snow, & the mystery tracks. The unknown tracks had a striking resemblance to Toothdee’s footprints.

“Have you been here before or something?” Kion wondered.

“Did we get turned around?” Jasiri said, looking at her surroundings.

“If we got turned around then we would see lion, hyena, & human tracks as well,” Alex said. As the team wondered why these strange impressions were here, and why they looked so similar to Toothdee’s footprints, the heartbeat sensor lit up again.

“One signature,” Alex said, as the team prepared themselves. “It’s very close by.”

The captain looked towards the trees where the signature would be, and he spotted a large figure with blue fur, looking back at him from a hiding place beneath some branch. For a second their eyes met, and the figure then raced off in a blue blur, causing branches to break and allowing the team to get a pretty good look at the figure.

“Whoa! Uh... I’m not the only one who saw that right?” Kion said.

“That guy..... looked a lot like you Toothdee,” Jasiri noted

Alex headed over and looked on the ground where the figure had been. More of the mystery track heading off in the direction the figure ran. The team preceded to follow the tracks, which also lead in the direction of the intercepted radio call.

“Uh... Toothdee?” Kion said, “what do you know about your species?”

“Not much, only what I see in myself.” She responded. “I don’t remember much of my early life, so I can’t tell you anything really. I lived on my own for a while and then met Alex. People didn’t really have a problem with me being kind of an oddball, and I got used to considering myself as the only known member of my species.”

“That wouldn’t be a weird thing.” Alex said, “In Chima, there are a few people who are the only known members of their species.”

“I think you won’t be the only know member of your species after this mission,” Kion said

A large concrete structure began to appear through the trees.

“What’s this place?” Kion asked.

“Looks like something from the Cold War.” Jasiri responded while Alex brushed some snow off one of the walls, revealing the words ‘base 13’.

“Base 13?” Toothdee questioned.

“I think Jasiri is right.” Captain Boehm said as the group headed inside through a metal door that was already open. “This does look like some sort of Cold War-era outpost. It would make sense because we’re so close to Russia.”

The base had cold concrete floors, walls, and ceilings, and there was even some snow inside the structure, presumably having blown in through cracks or open doors.

2 more signatures appeared on the heartbeat sensor, and the team found 2 Chinese soldiers who must have been standing guard. Quickly dispatching the pair, the group proceeded forward and came upon a large room filled with desks, and old computer equipment. A group of hostiles occupied the room, trying to get some sort of radio equipment working, probably to call for reinforcements.

The abundance of Cold War era computers and wooden desks scattered about the room enabled the team to slowly sneak forward unnoticed. Alex got behind a hostile soldier and stabbed him with his knife, bring the soldiers down. His teammates were doing the same, and the number of enemies in the room slowly dwindled.

Toothdee pulled a hostile soldier over a tipped over desk before dispatching him, while Kion and Jasiri performed a synchronized takedown on 2 enemies that were talking.

Only a few enemies left. The captain performed a dual takedown on another pair of Chinese soldiers. Slashing their legs and throats in quick unison so they didn’t alert anyone.

The last 3 soldiers began to notice something was wrong, and they started looking around the room. But before they could do anything, they fell to the same blades that had killed the other soldiers in the room.

“Let’s check the rest of the base.” Toothdee said, “Make sure we got rid of everyone.”

The team continued out of the room, heading towards a T junction in the hallway they were walking down. Suddenly a large group of enemy soldiers sprinted across the T junction and disappeared from sign just as quickly as they had appeared. Racing to follow them, the team turned at the T junction and followed the Chinese to a garage. The garage was filled with snow, as its main doors were open, and any gear in the room had been covered.

The team engaged the soldiers, forcing hostiles began to fall back out of the base as more and more troopers fell to the ground.

Heroes kept the pressure on and moved out of the garage onto a snow-covered road. On one side of the road was a sharp upwards cliff, on the other side, was a guardrail that protected drivers from a harrowing fall down another cliff. The team took cover behind a pile of rocks from an avalanche and continued to engage the Chinese.

Suddenly the hostile gunfire completely stopped, and the young heroes peaked out of cover to see why. The Chinese soldiers lay dead, blood turning the nearby snow red. The abrupt stop of gunfire was surprising, but what was more surprising was that spears and arrows were driven into the bodies of the enemy troopers. The hostile forces had been turned into pincushions, in only a few seconds.

The team looked up at the cliff above, and laid eyes upon their saviors. A group of creatures, creatures of Toothdee’s species, stood at the top of the cliff. Their fur was varying shades of blue, and each individual creature was equipped with either a spear, a bow, or a melee weapon. Some even held old rifles that were partly made out of wood. Simple clothes adorned the bodies of the creatures, with some garments appearing old. Other individuals had clothes made out of wild animal pelts or were completely unclothed, their fur providing all the insulation they needed.

For a good 30 seconds, the Heroes team and the assembled group of creatures stared at each other, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. One of the creatures took a long look at Toothdee, probably judging her and determining his next course of action.

Eventually, the group of creatures turned around and walked away from the cliff, disappearing from view.

Toothdee was in disbelief, she had never seen another member of her species before.

“Well..... I guess Kion was right.” Jasiri said.

“You ok?” Alex asked his friend.

Shaking herself out of a daze, toothdee responded. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just..... I can’t believe that just happened. I’m not the only member of my species.”

“Do you want to... follow them or something?” Kion suggested, “Get to know members of your own species better?”

Toothdee thought for a moment, looking up at the cliff.

“No, my place is with Heroes.” She said, “I'm gonna stay and help the US win this war.”

Alex was grateful to hear that, Toothdee was an amazing warrior and tactician, and she had proved herself time and time again. The typhoon was her home, and she felt like she belonged there.

“Then let's go home, mission complete.” The captain said before the group set off to return to the typhoon.

000

Having made their way back to the typhoon, the team, bar toothdee, needed to warm up after their expedition. Kion and Jasiri had retreated back to their room to crawl into bed and snuggle under a blanket. Alex had gone to the kitchen to get some hot chocolate, before heading to the typhoon’s bridge and watching as toothdee piloted the ship towards a warmer climate. Toothdee had already recounted the report of their expedition to Laval, Judy, & Haida, who had joined her on the bridge.

“That’s quite a story,” Judy said, once the tale was complete.

“It does feel nice to know I’m not alone,” Toothdee responded. “But of course you guys are my family, I don’t need members of my own species to feel at home.

“We gotta think of a name for your race,” Alex said, taking a sip of his hot cocoa.

“Like a scientific name or a colloquial name?”

“I’m not sure about a scientific name, but for the colloquial one, how about ‘the Toothdee species.”

“What? That’s so uncreative.” Laval said.

“It makes sense. In Star Wars there’s a species called ‘the Yoda species.”

“Alright, fairs fair. But if I think of another name I’ll let you know.”

“Maybe we should just leave the naming up to the scientists.”

Alex smiled and sat back in a seat, watching the snow fall as they left the wreckage of the Chinese fleet behind them.

0000000000

So what did you think of that ice cold chapter with firey combat and a burning mystery? Please leave a review and I'll see you all next time!

[deathbyvalentine]

LARP Prompts

Of all the starports, of all the systems, he had to walk into mine

It was a seedy bar, the type that my mothers would be ashamed to find me in. It could have been on any planet, any station in the universe. It was pleasingly anonymous, the light dim, the music in some alien language I didn’t speak, dark and sultry, the cheap drinks able to kick even the biggest of us over. The taste didn’t matter. It was the forgetting we were in for.

I sat at the bar, elbows firmly planted, nursing something purple. I ignored the insistent glances of a few, wishing to drink alone. I didn’t want to have to perform or charm. I just wanted to exist without acknowledgement. Or so I thought.

Then he walked in. 

He didn’t look like he fit in here. He looked too clean, too self-conscious. A hand rubbed at the back of his head, sending his dark hair sticking out in all directions. He lingered in the doorway, eyes flickering over the patrons, hesitating on each face. In one hand, he clutched a ragged piece of paper. 

He was handsome, Adrian noted, as Adrian did. He was pathologically unable to see a man without analysing his appearance, either in direct comparison to his own or out of an abstract curiosity of if he would take him to bed or not. It said an awful lot about how he related to most people, where he found his connections. Generally, just talking to someone was out of the question. 

He finally committed and stepped inside, the door sliding shut behind him. He made a beeline to the bar, the music too loud to make out fully what he was saying. His brows were furrowed at whatever the bartender was saying, but she turned away with a shrug to serve another patron, apparently dismissing him. Against his better judgement, Adrian stood, only a little unsteadily. Carefully, he picked his way over to the taller man, taking a stool beside him and gesturing for two more drinks. 

“Oh, I don’t - “ His voice was softer than Adrian was expecting somehow, more delicate.  “What, ever?” “No.” There was a hesitation there though, as he glanced down into the glass. “But maybe I can make an exception...” With a heavy sigh, he dropped into the seat, and tried a sip, pulling a hideous face before returning for more. “Adrian.” They shook hands. “Killian.” “What brings you here Killian? Doesn’t seem like your usual scene.” “No?” He raised an amused eyebrow. “How come?” Adrian dragged his eyes up and down his body, raising his eyebrow in return. “Honestly, you look better than this place. Nice, expensive clothes. Clearly never been here before. Look utterly lost.” Killian mulled this over before acquiescing. “You’re right. This isn’t my scene.” “So why are you in it?” He carefully unfurled the paper he had in his hand. It was crumpled, and a little worn. “I’m looking for my sister.” Adrian glanced down to look at the photo and his stomach sunk. He recognised the girl’s face, and he didn’t have any information that Killian would want to hear. So instead he just nodded in acknowledgement

“I’ll keep an eye out.” But Killian had sensed something. He squinted, his friendly face suddenly not so friendly. 

“What aren’t you telling me?” 

Annoyance - Slayers

Tommy had never been good at maintaining hate. It wasn’t in his nature. Or at least, he hadn’t thought it was. He had managed to hate Apollo for a whole two years. A record, comparatively. 

What Tommy had learnt is that holding a grudge was different from hating someone. Hatred was a feeling, grudges were a series of actions. And Tommy would continue being passive aggressive or outright aggressive for as long as he’d live he supposed. A family trait he had inherited, which immortality had amplified.

But Tommy didn’t hate him anymore. He didn’t have that hot, angry magma burning in his chest when he saw him, he didn’t want to rend his flesh, or watch him die at his feet. He didn’t want to make him lose his wits or his music. He just wanted him to stay far, far away from he and his. 

The hatred had come tumbling down like a house of cards when disdain had blown in like wind. There was no joy in hating someone so delusional they were unaware they were being hated. Any wrong done against Apollo would be framed to fit his own narrative as a hero of the people, and none of it would sink it, would make a meaningful difference. 

As cliche as it was, Tommy realised that the only form of revenge he could take that wouldn’t harm himself more was flourishing. Becoming the best, healthiest, strongest version of himself he could possibly be and outstrip Apollo in every possible way.

That or dump a mountain on him in a thousand years time. It was a toss up.

 Family - Slayers

For the first time, he felt like a real member. When he was Asclepius’s, he felt something like a pet, included and tolerated but not permanent. Like in a hundred years, he would be dead or replaced and nobody wanted to get too attached to him. 

But now, well, he wasn’t an in-law. Zeus’s blood flowed through his veins, and his new-found immortality made him a fixture, rather than a passing fancy. And he had power too, both his own and his family’s. He was older and wiser. He belonged in these hallowed halls, because he was one of them now.

He loved as fiercely, felt as deeply, hated and loved them all in almost equal measure. He could keep up with them in a way he couldn’t before. He could see the eternity stretched out before him. One of arguments and blood shed and grudges. But also one of protection, belonging, adoration the likes of which no mortal was capable of. He would hurt them and be hurt in turn, over and over again, because that was their nature. And maybe it was his too.

He felt for the first time, like he was part of something. Ancient and wild and unknowable. And he fitted right in.

Laughing with the Queen - Slayers

Tommy adored Hera. It was not an uncomplicated love - it had fear and respect mixed within it, but it was a strong love. He had the distinct feeling that he would do almost anything for her, and desired to be counted as one of hers. Someone she would protect, close ranks for, count as family. 

It was her strength and grace he admired. Even when she was furious, she was composed. Even when she was frightened, she was calm. He wanted to be like her, at the core of things, to always seem in control, poised and clever. Whenever he felt weak, his weakness showed like cracks, all over him, unable to be hidden. 

A small hopeful part of him believed she liked him too. She smiled when she saw him, and he had made her laugh on more than one occasion. They could talk, happily, with no awkward pauses or hesitations. And on her shoulder sat the peacock pin he had found for her. 

The dread he had felt when he had upset her was not just fear of retribution. It was a fear of not being part of the fold, of being treated coldly by her. He would have happily taken a curse if it meant she wouldn’t discard him entirely. Luckily, he had clawed his way back into her good graces, and he hoped it would stay that way.

 Organs - Slayers

He woke up and the world had not ended. His heart still beat in his chest, his lungs still pulled in air, and his eyes could still see the morning light. He realised that part of him had expected to die this weekend. Death had not come, and peace remained in its absence. What a miracle his body was.

He could hear Jones making coffee downstairs, the spoon clattering against the mug. Somewhere, Michael would be waking up with Ava and Ana, in his own bed, with no obligations. Zeus would be waking next to Hera, and marvelling at the fact it was another morning where she still loved him. Daniel would be watching the sunrise over Athens. His twin would be getting ready for work, his father cooking his mother breakfast. The world was kept spinning on its fragile axis by these small acts.

He knew where he would be waking up in a few weeks. It would be hotter than here. He’d wake up with a God, both foreign and familiar. He would study his face, and memorise it, and learn it by heart. It would be the first time they woke together, without Asclepius disappearing like a dream. He’d see all the small intimacies he’d been deprived of so far. Maybe they would talk. Maybe they wouldn’t. But for the first time, they’d be alone together, with no urgency. They could just exist.

It wouldn’t last of course. There were still so many pressing problems, jostling for his attention, begging to be solved. He would still be woken by nightmares, and sometimes his breath would catch in his chest and he wouldn’t be able to breath. He’d feel the knife on his throat over and over again. But it could wait, for a little while at least. He needed this. He needed one good thing to keep holding onto. This was his hope. It was all he had.

Could/Should/Did - 3YGB

He crowed triumphantly from atop the inner wall, peeking out from behind a battlement to flip off the Empress’s armies below. Childish? Definitely. Deeply and profoundly satisfying? You bet. 

It was amazing really. The most rag-tag army the country possessed had managed to take the inner city, all but walking in and changing the locks. And he had been at the forefront, sneaking and planning and leading in a way he had actively avoided before. He had worn the mantle of leader uncomfortably, hating the responsibility, the pressure. But now, he realised, there was freedom in people embracing you whole-heartedly, in entrusting their lives to you. It forced you to grow up, to take some accountability. He finally felt like he might be who he was supposed to be.

And now, the victory was his as much as theirs. He had planned this, he had given them the orders, he had followed them into the mouth of the beast. And stolen the damn palace from right under their noises. Well, they were thieves after all. It was fitting. He walked inside the palace, clapping every soldier he saw on the back, sharing half-awed grins. Can you believe we did this? Can you believe that we won?

*

The shadows stretched long and dark in the corridors, eerily silent, unmoving. The moon shone through the palace windows, producing pools of light amidst all the dark. Cherry paused in the doorway, his own breath loud in his ears. He held up a hand to get his soldiers to wait, hang back. Then, slowly, he placed a foot down on the stone floor, edging his way into the passage. 

Something was wrong. The air hung oddly and it felt like the walls were holding their breath. The hair on the back of his neck prickled and sent a long shiver down his spine. Everything was still.

He got five steps into the corridor before chaos erupted. The shadows rippled out and exploded into a frenzy of movement. They bubbled and formed into palace guards, their armour as dark as the shadow they were formed from. It was a trap. The entire thing was a trap. He turned, hopelessly to his folk, with just enough time to scream an order to run. Some tripped over themselves to obey, others drew their swords.

The pain didn’t hit him right away. At first, his breath was simply knocked from his body, and he couldn’t understand why Cold Smile’s eyes widened in horror. Or why taking another step was strikingly impossible.

And then he looked down to see the blade that had pierced straight through his back. And the steady, dark stream of blood that followed. It still didn’t hurt, but the taste of copper in his throat and mouth was revolting. It seemed easier to go to his knees.

He instinctively patted his bandoleer, searching fruitlessly for his healing potion. Then he laughed, splattering the stone with splashes of scarlet. Of course. He had given it to Duty for the cut on her head. It still seemed a fair exchange.

Distantly, the battle was ongoing, and he could hear it echoing. But it seemed more important to sleep. He was only sorry that he couldn’t fall into that peaceful slumber the way he had last night, with his head in Duty’s lap, and her fingers tangled in his hair.

*

He was absolutely powerless. He stood in the war room, looking at the space where the flag had been. His flag that represented his soldiers. That had been utterly decimated. Three hundred thieves, liars, beggars, visionaries, friends, companions tricksters,, lovers, killers, artists and countless more. He knew each of their names, and many of their stories, and now they were likely dead, and if they were not, they were soon to be so.

And the worst part? He wasn’t with them.

He had become like the leaders he so hated, sitting safe in a command post far far away from where the action was, making them take risks that he wouldn’t take himself. It had been his orders that they had followed without question, and his orders that had gotten them killed. Fourth Raven was murmuring in his ear something about what they had gained, information that would aid them later, that would stop someone else’s army dying pointlessly. But it was his that had, his that was deemed an acceptable sacrifice. He didn’t think it was coincidence it was the army formed of the lowest dregs that had been the sacrificial lamb.

They still might win, he knew that. But all he could think of was the five hundred graves left to dig, and bless, and bodies to bury. The bodies of those that had believed in him where nobody else had. Part of him wanted to join the fight, to bleed and die beside them. But that was no longer an option. Someone had to remember them all. That would have to be him. Fates knew nobody else would.

Filthy Liberalism/Low Tide - Empire

Mattias trailed his fingers in the warm water, watching a few silver fish dart away from the resulting ripples. A little while away from the shore, the smart snapping of sails could be heard, and the bright flashes of colour seen. Refugees, more of them. From his position on the pier, he could estimate they’d be here within the hour. 

The trickle from Zemress had not yet entirely slowed, and Mattias assumed it wouldn’t until the island was empty. And why should they stay? There was an Empire waiting for them here, welcoming and inviting and not so different from what they already knew. Distant cousins, the lot of them. They had to earn their keep, to be told, but there was a place here for them. 

There was more than simple logic influencing his compassion. There was a pang deep inside his chest, an unspoken worry. Kahraman was currently inundated with orcs. They would beat them back, they always did. But a small hypothetical nagged at him.

If the Brass Coast were ever eliminated as a nation, he hoped that those neighbouring would take him in, not just as a guest, but as a citizen. How could they hope to convert the world into members of the Empire if by the Virtue of their birth, they could never truly fit inside the society. What about those that did not wish to be Hakima or Kohan, and wanted to be embraced, but could not brag of their blood?

Mattias valued his family, and his tribe and he was not sure what he would do without the fierce Pride that so informed that love. He was even less sure what he would do if he wasn’t given a choice about abandoning tribal and family links. He would not be happy, that much he could guarantee. 

He let his fingers still in the water, and the curious fish nibbled on his skin curiously. In an hour, he would stand and greet the new citizens, with all the fire and passion they deserved.

Dissolution - Death Unto Darkness

A part of them wanted to gather them all close to their chest, cradle them tight, and keep them all together. A little worry pricked at the back of their mind, that this might be the last time they saw all of them. The sector was growing more dangerous than the second, and the fragile peace they had enjoyed on the Chaser felt a million years ago.

Cal supposed they had been happy there. Lying in bed watching holovids with Nic when they couldn’t sleep, close enough to hear his heartbeat and his warmth, steady and true. Playing hide and seek with Baris on the engineering deck, their laugh giving them away much more often than their footsteps. Sitting on the observation deck with Bridge, looking out at the miracle of stars. Allowing Sister Anya to stitch them up, always grimacing, never shouting. Pip stroking their hair when the pain and sickness got too much for them to bear alone. Complaining about nobles and swapping ration packs with Gwyn. Their armscrew carrying them when they were too tired to walk and letting them lie in their bunks. Even Aleph and Mitra’s presence, foreboding and serious would be missed. And the Chaser itself, that looming, vicious presence that Cal had only brushed against but already held dear due to the minds that had loved hers.

They would be stepping onto a different ship, into a great unknown, with only Constantin and Argento at their back. Somewhere, there would be Nasser. At the end, there would be orks, and work, and death and pain. They were not alone any more, not truly, The Emperor ever present and glowing in their mind. But they would still be lonely.

They took a moment now to look over the assembled bodies with their new eyes, embedding this image into their mind. This. This is what they were fighting for. They must not forget the reasons why, or all would be lost. They could forget the details, the names, even the faces and feelings, but they couldn’t forget this humanity.

Vindication - DuD

They had never felt this before and it took them quite a while to realise exactly what it was. It felt like a physical warmth in their chest that pushed against their spine, making sure they kept their back straight and their head up high. It made them believe in every one of their words, kept their hands from trembling, and their eyes never dropped eye contact. They had never heard their voice like this, no stuttering, clear and calm.

It was confidence. It was knowing that they were worth something, unarguably and absolutely. They had been chosen, they were beloved, they could rearrange the surroundings with a click of their fingers. It was knowing, deep down, that they were right about the Emperor. 

Once, they were nothing. Stepped on, ignored, abused, broken again and again until a stone had turned into sand. They had believed every lie they were ever told about their own worth until they couldn’t even see their potential. The worst lie was being told they were unworthy of Her love.

Showed them. Showed them all.

[olivialourdefanfic]

Supernatural Fan Fic, Installment 18: The Vessel

(S11X14, “The Vessel”. Sophia and Dean have been secretly having an affair, while Sam is struggling with the emotional fallout of Lucifer’s stroll down memory lane. He has become almost obsessive in his drive to stop Amara, because he believes now that the responsibility falls on him. At this point, Sophia is strong, but unpredictable. She vacillates between violent and angry, and weak and sad. While she is trying a little bit to repair her relationship with Sam, she and Dean fight against how they feel for each other, feeling times are too dangerous for these attachments.)

Sophia: Dean, about Valentine’s Day…

Dean: Look, Sophia, you don’t owe me anything. It was what it was. We shouldn’t… we CAN’T let it be more than that.

Sophia: Took the words right out of my mouth, honestly.

Dean: I was always good at that, wasn’t I?

Sophia: Still are.

(They stare at each other for a long moment. Dean slams Sophia against the wall, lifting her into him and kissing her. They escalate to the point of losing their clothes, and Dean lands on top of her in his bed.)

Dean: We really need to stop doing this.

Sophia: I’d like to believe that we can stop at any time.

Dean: So let’s stop.

(They stop. Dean sits up, resting his feet on the floor beside his bed. Sophia is staring at the ceiling, pulling her shirt back on. She sits up, crossing her legs and facing him.)

Sophia: What’s wrong?

Dean: I keep trying to convince myself that we need to stop doing this. That we need-… I don’t even know what we need anymore, Sophia.

(Sophia puts a hand on his shoulder.)

Sophia: This is the one thing we feel in control of. We’re in a world where we don’t know what the enemy is doing. One minute, she’s a child. The next, a full-grown woman. I’m sick one day, I’m powerful the next. This is our way of taking control.

Dean: I don’t even know why you’d still want me after everything I’ve done to you. I’ve been nothing but poison and heartache for you, honey.

(Sophia eyes his broad shoulders and the muscles of his neck lustily.)

Sophia: Maybe I like the abuse.

Dean: Is that what this is?

Sophia: Not to me.

Dean: Maybe we both like it. Maybe we’re both addicted to the cycle. Maybe we keep coming back because we know it’s good and we know we’ll always be there.

Sophia: I’d like to think neither of us are here for that, Dean.

Dean: I wasn’t totally honest with you and Sam about the qareen. It appears as your deepest, darkest desire.

Sophia: I know. I’m not so naïve, Dean.

Dean: I know you’re not. It didn’t exactly appear as Amara. It did, at first. It scared the hell out of me. I knew it wasn’t her, but then you came in.

Sophia: What are you talking about? I wasn’t there. I was upstairs with Sam the whole time, Dean.

Dean: I know you were. It wasn’t you. The qareen, Sophia. It turned into you. You killed Amara and then you came after me.

(Sophia is stunned.)

Sophia: Wow. I get it.

Dean: You do? Because I’m totally lost here.

Sophia: You want me to kill her. That’s your deepest, darkest desire.

Dean: That actually makes a lot more sense. I’ve been agonizing over it, Sophia-

(Sophia suddenly becomes angry, and she stands up, pulling herself together in a rage. Dean is whiplashed at her mood swing.)

Sophia: No, I get it. You know you can’t kill her. Something has a hold on you with her. I get that. But you don’t want the sole responsibility to fall on Sam. It’s a huge weight, and he’s your brother. He shouldn’t have to carry it. He wouldn’t have to if he’d just listened to me in the first place.

(Dean is forlorn.)

Dean: I just don’t want anything to happen to him.

(Sophia pulls on her jacket, incensed. A few books fly off Dean’s bookcase from her rage, and Dean ducks.)

Sophia: So me. It’s the easiest option. I’m getting more control every day. I’m getting stronger. When the time is right, just send me, right? That way, you Winchester boys don’t have to get your hands dirty, even though you made this mess in the first place.

(Dean stands up, reaching for Sophia to hold her, which is what he really wants.)

Dean: Sophia, babe-

(Sophia jerks away, nearly tossing Dean into the wall on accident. Her eyes are filling with tears, but he misses them.)

Sophia: Don’t worry about it, Dean. Message received. I’m just your goddamn hammer, the way I’ve always been.

(She leaves, slamming the door so hard that it pops off its hinges. Dean picks himself up to the sounds of her retreating, and the pain in his eyes carries real weight.)

 (Sam and Dean have been giving Sophia space, but they need help translating Henshaw and Delphine’s correspondence. Sam knocks on her door.)

Sophia(from inside): What?

Sam: Hey, we need your help. Is it okay if I come in?

(Sophia opens the door without lifting a finger. Sam hands her the text.)

Sophia: What is this?

Sam: Hopefully, a lead on finding something to help us defeat Amara. You know what a Hand of God is?

Sophia: Yeah, of course. Allegedly, there’s only a few left- Delphine Seydoux. Okay.

Sam: Please tell me you can read French.

Sophia: It’s my fourth language, but once you learn one Romance language, they’re all the same. Give me some time.

(Sam kisses Sophia on the mouth, truly grateful.)

Sam: Thank you. Thank you so much.

Sophia: Easy, Slick. Mind your space.

(Sophia walks past him and out to the study. She grabs a pen and paper and begins translating.)

 (Dean runs into Sophia in the kitchen. She’s silent and sullen, but he slides his hands on her shoulders and rubs her shoulder blades gently. He tilts his head down to her neck, gently kissing the vein on the side of her neck. She rolls her neck, and within seconds, she’s turned around and has jumped into his arms to kiss him.)

Dean: Sam told me you really came through translating. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry about the other-

Sophia: Shut up, Dean. We only have a few minutes.

(She pulls him in to kiss her, and he obliges lustily. His hands slide all over her body, her hands on his cheeks and in his hair. After an incredibly hot and passionate moment, they separate. Dean grabs them beers, and she follows him back to Sam.)

 (Sam is disheartened to discover the ship was lost. Sophia listens quietly.)

Sam: Great. It’s lost.

Dean: Or is it?

Sam: I’d say so. I mean, tides took the wreckage. Submersibles have been trying to locate it for years. I mean, if James Cameron and his “Avatar” billions can’t find it…

Dean: Yeah, but… We have something that James Cameron doesn’t have.

Sophia: Nothing to compensate for?

(Sam looks at Sophia, then looks at Dean.)

 (Casifer has joined them, and Sophia is looking at him suspiciously. She can tell something is off.)

Casifer: Is something wrong?

Sophia: Not yet, but the day is young.

Casifer: I can get you back there.

Sam: Without wings? Cas, you can’t even teleport.

Casifer(lying, Sophia can tell): Time travel, it’s a whole different system.

Dean: Told ya!

Sam: Wait, aren’t there still risks with time travel? Aren’t there consequences…

Dean: Sam… This is the ideal scenario.

Sam: What?

Dean: That sub’s a tin can floating in the middle of the ocean, doomed to go down. You can’t really mess with history at 20,000 leagues. So we get in, get the weapon, get out. It’s a milk run.

Sam: That’s not a very good plan.

Dean: Well, if things get out of hand, then Cass’ll just zap me right back.

Sam: You?

Dean: You’re not going.

Sam: I beg your pardon?

Dean: You need to stay here.

Sam: Stay here?

Dean: Just in case things go sideways, somebody needs to be left standing to take care of the Darkness. We can’t risk us both, and at the moment, I’m the least valuable player. You all know that I can’t kill Amara, so the least I could do is get the thing that we need so you can.

Sam: So you expect me to sit here and ride the pine while you and Cass go play Jules Verne?

Dean: Yes.

Sophia: No.

(Everyone looks at her. She’s staring at Casifer, but not in the way she usually does. Sam and Dean don’t pick up on it, but Casifer can see that she doesn’t trust him now. He does his best impression of Castiel to keep up appearances.)

Casifer: I won’t let him out of my sight.

Sophia: Neither of you are going it alone. I’m going with you. You need all the help you can get, and you need all the power you can get. I’ve got plenty and I’m bored as hell.

(Sam looks at them in disbelief.)

Sam: You’ll stay by his side the entire time?

Casifer: I will.

Sophia: You can handcuff them to me if you want.

Dean: Sam… let me do this. Okay? I need to do this.

(Sophia catches Casifer breaking character, but he misses her gaze. She narrows her eyes.)

Sam: Be safe.

Dean: When am I not? (Sam scoffs, and Dean and Sophia stand, coming close to Casifer.) Let’s do this, guys. (looking at Sam, taking Sophia’s hand) Bon voyage.

 (Dean has jacked someone’s uniform and they are trying to make their way out.)

Dean: Wait, we can’t just walk around the sub together like this. Can you go invisible still?

Sophia: Don’t worry, I already am. Only you and Delphine can see me until I say otherwise. Come on.

 (Dean and Sophia finally find Delphine. Delphine immediately senses that Sophia is not human and instinctively knows not to mess with her, though Delphine herself is just a human.)

Delphine: Who are you?

Dean: Delphine… You might find this hard to believe, but…

(Delphine kicks Dean, barely missing Sophia. She pins him back against the wall, knife to his throat.)

Delphine: Not a soul on this ship knows my name, so I repeat, who are you?

Sophia(cocking her gun to Delphine’s head): I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I kill for less.

(Delphine steps back, lowering her knife.)

Dean: I’m a friend of Clifford Henshaw. I’m a Man of Letters.

(2 soldiers enter, and Sophia is still unseen.)

Petey: That’s him! That’s the guy. Captain.

(The Captain orders Dean searched. Sophia is standing back with Delphine watching her. The soldiers think she is talking to Dean, but she is really talking to Sophia.)

Delphine: You are Men of Letters?

Sophia: Not me. I’m a witch.

Delphine: That’s not possible. The ship is warded-

Sophia: My kind is impervious to your warding, no matter how powerful it is. There’s nothing that could have kept me off this ship, Delphine Seydoux.

(The soldiers find Dean’s phone. Delphine inspects it. She is beginning to believe them. When Captain Dearborn is told that a German ship is approaching, Sophia appears next to Dean. The other 2 soldiers gasp.)

Petey: What just happened?!

Sophia: Sorry, but there’s no time. My name is Sophia Blackwood, and I can kill everyone on this sub if I choose to. You should know that before you make any moves. I am not human, I am not of your world, and I cannot die. If you shoot me, nothing will happen, and the last thing you will hear is your neck snapping as I kill you.

Captain Dearborn: Why are you here?

Sophia: We are here for a purpose. This man here, Dean Winchester, is my responsibility, and it’s imperative that I make sure he gets what we came for. We don’t have time for this. Delphine, listen to me. What you have, it’s what we came for.

Delphine: The sigil- it was supposed to protect me from supernatural interference.

Dean: -And angelic interference.

Delphine: Angels aren’t real.

Dean: Actually, angels ARE real. One is our ride back. Look, the warding you put up to block any magic, it must have blocked him, too. I cleared the one. If there’s any more, we gotta clear those, too. Otherwise, she and I are stuck here.

(Sophia’s arms are crossed and her eyes are narrowed at Petey.)

Sophia: And the longer I spend here, the more violent I’ll get.

Dean: Delphine, you wanted the weapon to be at a Men of Letters safe house, right? We live in the bunker. That’s how we found you, from your communication with Henshaw. Now, if you clear the way, we can get it there for you.

Sophia: Sooner rather than later.

Delphine: And that’s why you came, to protect the object, the weapon?

Petey: Who’s the next President? You’re from the future!

Sophia: Can I hit him?!

Dean: Eisenhower- no, Truman. Now shut up! No, this sub is going down. But, the Allies to do win. But, from Man of Letters to Man of Letters? We’re fighting a war in the future. It’s not like your war. It’s big, biblical, end-is-nigh big, and I need your weapon to win. THAT is why we came.

Petey: But we all die? Me, the girl, the rest of the crew? I’m just trying to get your story clear.

Dean: Yes.

(Sophia softens a little bit. She steps closer to him, waving a hand in his direction.)

Sophia: It won’t hurt.

Dean: Look, I know it’s a lot to ask, especially coming from strangers.

Delphine: You’re not a stranger. “Man of Letters to Man of Letters”. I trust you.

 (Delphine opens the box.)

Sophia: We came all this way for that? Seriously?

Dean: THAT’S the Hand of God? Doesn’t look like much.

Delphine: No, I suppose it doesn’t. It must have been more impressive in its complete form- The Ark of the Covenant.

Dean: Oh, so full on “Raiders”.

(Delphine looks confused until she sees Sophia rolling her eyes at Dean. She laughs, liking their chemistry.)

Delphine: You say you are responsible for him, yet you treat him like a lover. Which is it?

(Sophia stares at Dean, who is staring at her. She doesn’t lie.)

Sophia: Both. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him. His brother is back in our time, waiting for Dean to bring this back, and for me to bring Dean back. Our ride can’t get on here unless you ditch the sigils, Delphine. It’s the only way to get the weapon out of here safely now.

(Dean reaches for the Hand of God, but Delphine stops him.)

Delphine: Don’t touch it! No mortal can survive long with direct contact. I’ll remove the warding. I’ll be back. Promise.

(Sophia springs into action.)

Sophia: Sorry, Delphine, I’m not letting you out of my sight.

(Dean grabs Sophia’s hand.)

Dean: You promised Sam you wouldn’t let me out of your sight.

(Sophia smiles humorously.)

Sophia: Don’t worry. Huey here isn’t going to touch you.

(Petey looks confused. He doesn’t know who Huey is, because it doesn’t exist yet.)

Petey: My name’s Petey…

(Sophia follows Delphine. While Delphine is scratching off the warding, she eyes Sophia.)

Delphine: What are you?

Sophia: I’m a witch. Not a human one, not anymore, and not for some time.

Delphine: How long have you not been human?

Sophia: Long enough.

Delphine: Were you alive in my time?

Sophia: No. I was born well after.

Delphine: And him? He is immortal, too?

Sophia: No. He’s a human man.

Delphine: You love him.

Sophia: That’s a strong word for it.

Delphine: But it is the right one. I see the way you look at each other, Sophia. He loves you deeply. That look he gave you when I referred to you as lovers… it gave him joy.

Sophia: I bet it did.

Delphine: He is not only interested in your body, Sophia- he wants your heart. He wants you have his, but you won’t accept it.

(Sophia stares at the floor. She swallows uncomfortably.)

Sophia: You got all that from one look, huh?

(Delphine stands up.)

Delphine: Come. There is one more.

 (Delphine and Dean are hashing out their options. Sophia is silent until Dean says he wants to help the sub now.)

Sophia: Dean.

(Dean looks at her, and Sophia sees the look in his eyes.)

Dean: Is there anything you can do?

Sophia: I can make sure everyone’s death is painless. You’ve seen what happens when we mess with history, Dean.

Delphine: You have done this before?

Sophia: Well, sort of. A friend of mine unsunk the Titanic once, but it didn’t go well. Listen, Dean, accept it. This sub is a goner, as is everyone on it. The only thing I can do is make sure no one on it suffers.

Dean: How do we get out of here?

Sophia: We need Castiel back. He’s our ride. I can’t do it. I don’t know the terrain. I’ll land us back in the 1400s for all I know.

 (Delphine uses the Hand of God, and even Sophia is stunned. Casifer appears just in time, and Sam looks up to see the three of them together in the room.)

Sam: Guys… That’s not Cass!

(Sophia slams her hand onto Casifer’s chest, pulling out the information she needs. A deep noise comes from low in her throat, and Dean moves away from them.)

Sophia: I knew it. I knew it was you. How dare you. You lying sack of-

Dean: Sophia, who is it?!

(Sophia faces Casifer. He smiles at her dangerously and slams Dean into the wall. Her eyes narrow, and he reaches for the Hand of God.)

Sophia: Lucifer. He said “yes” to you?!

Casifer: Don’t feel too bad, Sophia. For once, Sammy said no. Cas was the good boy who said yes. I mean, who could blame him? He was probably dying for a goddamn break from you.

Sophia: Shut up. Let him go, Lucifer.

Casifer: We have a common enemy, you brat. You’ll never ice Auntie Amara without me.

Sophia: You wanna bet the whole farm on that, Lucifer?

Casifer: Look at you, Sophia! You can barely function on your own! You think you’re going to take on God’s SISTER, and win?! Don’t be such a child.

Sophia: Look, let’s just talk about this, okay? Let’s leave Dean and Sam and-

Casifer: Why? Because you don’t think anyone will figure out what’s going on here?

Sophia: Okay. What’s going on here, Lucifer?

Casifer: It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna kill Dean and Sam before this is all over, anyway, so who really cares which one of them you’re banging this week?

(Sophia’s power lashes out, slamming Casifer against the wall. She is calm, in control, and powerful. She looks at Casifer with a calm violence emanating from her. Her hand is held out, and her hand casually twists the pain inside, hurting him, causing no damage to Castiel or his vessel.)

Sophia: Like I said… You wanna bet the farm on that?

(Sam and Dean are shocked. This is the first time that Sophia has revealed that she has more control over her power than she previously demonstrated. She is frighteningly calm; even Lucifer is scared of her.)

Casifer: This is how strong you are now?

Sophia: I’m just getting started.

(A quarter turn of her wrist, and Lucifer is gasping for air and bleeding. Sam has already cut himself and is drawing the sigil.)

Sam: Sophia. Do we need him to ice Amara?

Sophia: He may be helpful.

Sam: Let him go.

Sophia: No. He’s MY bitch now.

Sam: Sophia, let him go. We need to keep him strong if we need him.

Sophia: We can’t hold him here. I can’t watch him 24/7, and your dungeons won’t hold the Devil himself for long.

Casifer: Well, you’re right about that.

(Casifer reaches out along her line of power, snapping her back on the floor. He holds her down, lowering himself on top of her. He punches her in the face, but only once, because he doesn’t have the heart to truly hurt her.)

Sophia: Get off me.

Casifer: It could all be so simple…

(Casifer caresses her cheek with his hand. She kicks him off her, and as he stands up to come for her again, Sam slams his hand over the angel banishing sigil, blasting Casifer far away.)

 (Outside on the pier, Sophia is sitting alone, her feet dangling off the side, completely inconsolable. Dean drops down next to her, discreetly letting his hand land on hers. She flinches, but intertwines their fingers together.)

Dean: What did Delphine say to you? You’ve been off ever since you went off together.

Sophia: I don’t want to talk about it.

Dean: Not even with me?

Sophia: Please, Dean.

(Dean is silent, watching her.)

Dean: Okay. Whatever you want.

(He gets up, walking away to sit in silence somewhere else. Sam finds them each off on their own, and heads to Sophia first.)

Sam: Hey.

Sophia: Hey.

Sam: Soooooo… Cass, huh?

Sophia: Yeah.

Sam: Look, I’m here if you want to talk.

Sophia: Sam, please stop.

Sam: Stop what?

Sophia: Whatever this is, just stop. I just want to deal with this alone. Please.

Sam: Message received.

(Sam heads for Dean.)