#i still dont see how their actions are explicitly flirting

[senseiwu]

Widows are never allowed to love anyone else or move on, apparently

[easy-revenge]

Hii

So many people are calling Himeno a groomer and pedophile. What are your thoughts?

hellooo

oof.

ive seen the hate and slander for himeno on all platforms first hand. let me get some things out of the way first:

i do not defend himeno, nor her actions regarding denji. there is no defending that. it is what it is.

i can speak more on what ppl target her for though, bc i think its interesting.

(DISCLAIMER: opinions, in this case mine. no one has to agree with me. i have a lot to say but if you're not willing to listen and don't care about my pov, kindly move past this post. thank u)

the vast majority of ppl hating her that ive seen and/or interacted with online always find a way to get aki involved into the conversation. that's bullshit and i wanna speak on it before i touch on anything else.

aki is around 22 years old.

there is a tiktok here from one of my fav creators breaking that one down since a lot of ppl misread his introduction scene and thought he was 19:

with that said and done, there is nothing weird about aki and himeno whatsoever (ive seen ppl hate her for getting him into smoking which, ig fair, but lets be real for a sec and realize that even not knowing the spoilers, its pretty safe to assume that lung cancer is not what's gonna take them out). aki was around 19 when they met, which makes him a minor, but there was no hints whatsoever about himeno liking him until later on.

she didn't "watch him grow up" or "groom" him. she is in love with him in the present, when they are both of age. she knows aki has feelings for makima and doesn't cross any boundaries as we see both her and aki are comfortable being close with each other and initiating contact.

with the aki bullshit done, let's go back to the real thing: denji.

again, what himeno did to denji is inexcusable. there is no way around it. the fact that she was drunk doesn't serve as an excuse bc she still very much is the adult in the room and should've been more responsible.

i want to however talk about the terminology.

groomer.

a groomer is someone who builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.

^ this is copy pasted from a dictionary. ring a bell? yes, that's literally makima.

himeno on the other hand did none of those things to denji. her offering him a kiss was more of a joke than anything else (plus she didn't know he was 16 back then) and she never had an ulterior motive for getting close to him.

im actually fairly certain that ppl call her a groomer more regarding aki than denji bc aki is the one she's known for a longer time and has had an effect on. i won't go back into this. utter bullshit. aki is not a child and himeno is not manipulating him. next.

the pedophile allegation is a bit of a rougher one to talk about. himeno initiated this playful flirting with denji at the start of the eternity devil arc, not knowing his age. she said explicitly right after that she "loves teasing boys" which implies that it was more a joke than anything else and considering that we proceed to get numerous flashbacks that let us know how deep her relationship with aki is and how genuine her feelings for him are, we can safely assume she does not give a fuck about denji.

the actual act that brought on the "pedophile" term happens when she is drunk. this, again, does not excuse her but i think can speak volumes about her state of mind. we know she gets extra flirty when she drinks and by the time the kiss happens she's tried to outdrink makima which means she's literally hammered. she is also drunk, significantly less but still, when she finds out denji's age. we know she is present enough for that info bc she remembers it the next morning when she brings it up, but again i dont think processing and comprehending information works just as well when you're half a dozen draft beers in. i dont have something more solid to say about this besides: she was really drunk and made some really bad choices bc she is irresponsible, flawed and generally messy as a person.

i dont feel comfortable calling her a pedophile. it doesn't ring that true to me. i dont think she is genuinely attracted to denji or would want to have sex with him while sober.

she knows it was wrong the next morning and she brings it up. that also shows that sober and with a clear mind she doesn't feel the same way.

the act itself is still horrible and inexcusable, but i think her thought process matters when it comes to assigning terms to her.

at the end of the day, i cant fight the ppl who do call her a pedophile. she did in fact attempt to have a sexual encounter with a minor. end of story. i mostly went into depth about this to talk about the aki thing bc it keeps popping up.

as for me, i choose to not erase her entire character over that one scene and reduce her to what ppl see her as. her arc is very well-written. SHE is very well-written. i keep recycling my words from my other posts but i think she is a perfect reflection of the universe she is in. we know she drinks and numbs everything out. we know the kind of dependency she has when it comes to aki and how it can cloud her judgment. she is very messy as i said and fundamentally flawed. but i loved seeing a broken character.

in a series like csm where denji can get cut in half and get back up to fight, its important for me to have characters like her to make u rly feel the impact of living in a world like this.

also the easy revenge storyline was dope as shit.

that's all about my thoughts on this, ive beem wanting to articulate them for a while, thank u for giving me the chance !!

[teacoffeeandwhatnot]

The Gay Agenda - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 is here! Its a yoonmin chapter, so tuck in and enjoy!

Please keep in mind, sentences written in Italic is what is being said by the panel, or people in the studio. Normal text is what is happening otherwise.

As always, also available on my Ao3! 

(if you want me to tag you every time i update, please dont hesitate to message me and I’ll add it in the next chapter)

To be fair, the flyer had hung in the music department on a bulletin board that explicitly said “Music Work Opportunities” over it. To be even more fair though, Yoongi hadn’t really read the flyer properly. He saw the word competition and immediately assumed it was for writing and producing.

He promptly wrote his application, adding his (maybe slightly exaggerated) sob story of how he’s “wanted to do music since he was little,” and “music is my whole world,” and topping it off with a little bit of “music saved my life, I wouldn’t be here without it”. He also included, what was in his opinion, one of his best works, just the right amount of balance between showing his skill and dissing anyone who dared question his talent and legitimacy.

So, to say he was surprised when he walked onto the property of the address he was told to appear at in his acceptance email and saw the giant flashing, glittery sign reading “The Gay Agenda”, was an understatement. He checked and double checked his phone but nope, he was in the right place. He tentatively approached the building, thinking maybe it was a shared recording space and the show he was supposed to be in would be somewhere in the back. But as he was approaching the building, seeing the sign up closer, he stopped dead in his tracks. The sign looked weirdly familiar. He recognized the colors, the general shape, even the overload of glitter. When it dawned on him, he took out his phone slowly, dreading that it would confirm his suspicions. Sure enough, when he looked at the email one more time, right at the top, was a large, pink, glittery logo, clearly saying “The Gay Agenda”. Fuck. How could he have missed this? Searching back through his email history, he realized the logo had been on all the correspondence he had had with the studio, but he had simply never given the logo any attention.

Wracking his brain on what to do about the situation he found himself in, Yoongi quickly decided to just walk in, tell some secretary or PA or something that this was a giant misunderstanding and get the fuck out of there as soon as possible. Yup, that’s what he would do. Right now. The moment he was able to force himself to walk into the building. Which was….now.

When he finally decided that he looked like a crazy person, whispering to himself in the parking lot of a filming studio, Yoongi managed to actually make his body listen to him and walk into the studio.

It was surprising how little attention was paid to him. Right when he walked in, he almost knocked down a man carrying a clipboard and frantically yelling instructions into a headset. When he attempted to ask about who to talk to about his dilemma however, he was quickly waved off and left there to stand alone. Yoongi walked around a little more, trying to just find someone to talk to, and was just about to just leave and just not show up to whatever this show was, when he stopped dead in his tracks for the second time that day.

Looking back, it seemed like a shitty, cheesy, teenage rom-com. It felt like time had slowed down. His breathing stopped when he saw this…this...angel. That was truly the only way to describe the boy (man?) standing in front of him. He seemed to be glowing, mysteriously being lit up from behind, making him look even more ethereal. (Yoongi realized later it was just a stage light and felt a bit stupid but hey, in the moment he didn’t question it for one second). The boy was blonde, had a small, fucking adorable face, round cheeks, a small but strong stature and looked seriously out of this world.  His very tight jeans showed off his extremely well-toned thighs, which was contrasted by the oversized hoodie he was wearing. Yoongi was speechless. He had never seen someone that beautiful. Sure, he was very open with his preferences, liked pretty much anyone but god damn, something about this creature in front of him made him feel like he had never felt before.

When he came back to his senses, he was staring into the expectant eyes of the new love of his life, who seemed like he had just asked him something. Oh shit.

“Uhh, sorry, what?” Yoongi said intelligently, facepalming inwardly.

The angel laughed. “I just asked if I could help you with something, you seemed a little lost there,” came the reply (fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s so cute). His dazzling smile made his eyes almost disappear into half-moon crescents, his round cheeks bunching up. Yoongi felt a little faint, awkwardly leaning more into the wall to his right in an attempt to keep himself upright.

Five minutes ago, Yoongi was determined to tell the show-runners exactly what he thought and get out of there. But now…. Now was different. So, without him really giving his mouth permission to, Yoongi kind of just blurted out, “I’m here for the show.” Great.

It wasn’t technically a lie. He was here for the show. It just wasn’t what he thought he had signed up for and definitely not something he would ever sign up for had he known, but the situation was completely different now. He doesn’t even know the name of the angel person before him yet, but Yoongi knows he would already die for him. Which….yikes. he really needs to get a grip on himself.

The man once again smiled his million-watt smile.

“Oh great! Some of the others are here already too. Let me take you to the green room so we can get you show ready! I’m Jimin by the way, I’ll be on the show with you! If you have any questions or concerns or anything at all really, please don’t hesitate to hit me up!”

Yoongi was so entranced, he hadn’t even noticed that they had apparently walked to the green room while talking.

“Here you go! I’ll be off to get ready myself then. See you later, cutie,” Jimin said and left Yoongi in front of the closed door. It took Yoongi almost 10 seconds to process that Jimin had just called him cutie and promptly had a mini break down.

When he managed to compose himself, he turned towards the door and with a quick thought of “here we fucking go, I guess”, pressed down the handle.

Ok, so don’t get Yoongi wrong, he is an out, proud, big-ass Bi, but this really wasn’t his scene.

Standing in the doorway, Yoongi just kind of gaped at the room in front of him. There were about 20 other people, presumably the other contestants, who seemed to be massively varied in ages, stature and personalities. Considering his social anxiety, this realllllly didn’t seem to be his thing and for the 100th time that day, he begins to question why he was still there and why he was doing this to himself. The thought of Jimin creeped back into the back of his mind and he just sighed before getting over himself, and walking in.

‘This day is really getting worse and worse,’ Yoongi thought to himself as he was sitting in the crash course that the contestants had to take before being quote “sent out there to do some damage”.

Once again, the only light at the end of the tunnel for Yoongi was that Jimin was the one who was leading the crash course. He had changed out of his causal outfit from earlier and was now wearing a velvet blazer with gold embellishments, an almost see-through white shirt underneath and another pair of sinfully tight black pants. He had a light dusting of eyeshadow on and his hair had been neatly styled. It had taken everything in Yoongi to not moan out loud when Jimin had walked into the room.

Yoongi had also had his makeup done, and someone had ruffled through his hair, but other than that he was still in the same clothes that he had arrived in. Suddenly he felt very underdressed in his sweater jacket, white tank top and black jeans.

A very enthusiastic Jimin began by explaining all the rules and goals of the show to all the contestants once again, which Yoongi was very thankful for, since even though most other contestants looked like they knew all this already, probably being avid watchers of the show, Yoongi had no fucking clue what he was even supposed to do or competing for.

“So, now that we’ve got all the admin out of the way, lets talk strategy!” Jimin said with a large grin on his face.

“Obviously, everyone here will have a slightly different approach. We all have our preferred flirting methods and there is nothing wrong with that, I’m not here to tell you what to do. The point of this is to simply give you some ideas and starting points, should you run out of ideas or need some help getting your brain thinking. So obviously there’s the classics. A little smile, a little bit of beating your lashes, leaning over the counters more than strictly necessary, ‘accidentally bumping into someone’, you know the drill. One of my favourites will always be cheesy pick-up lines, if I’m honest. I am aware that they are not everyone’s cup of tea, and you should definitely try to get a feel for what kind of person they are before you drop one, but if they seem like they would be accepting, they can go a long way. They can be flattering or simply a brilliant ice breaker and they are always pretty funny”, Jimin said with a slight giggle.

Yoongi’s hand immediately shot into the air.

“Yes, Yoongi-hyung, may I call you hyung by the way?”

“Oh yeah of course. Hey Jimin, did it hurt when you feel from heaven? Because someone like you simply can’t be from this world,” he said with a smug smile. Jimin immediately laughed, seeming to put his entire body into the action which made Yoongi’s heart ache fondly.

“Something like that, exactly. You’re a fast learner,” Jimin said. Yoongi couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit disappointed at the fact that Jimin seemed to think he was only doing this for the sake of the course, and hadn’t actually meant what he said, but the light blush dusting Jimin’s cheeks as he continued giving more tips, made him keep a sliver of hope.

“Moving on, all of you must be wondering what today's shooting location will be. Well we are all going to be in a mall that has been completely fitted with hidden cameras and prepped to capture all your interactions. You can choose whether you want to be a clerk in a certain store or just be a customer, its completely up to you. If you choose to be a clerk, I would suggest though that you choose a store that has something to do with your interests, so it looks at least a little bit like you know what you are doing.”

“Will you also be there?” Yoongi asks.

“Yes, I will, I will work at the jewellery store right here in the corner”, Jimin replies while pointing to the store on the map of the mall he pulled up. Yoongi makes a mental note to remember exactly where it is, so he can ‘coincidentally’ walk by as many times as possible later on.

He also takes note of the record store a few stores down. He immediately fills out the form they were given, stating that he would like to work there, since it would make it easier to actually get people to talk to him if he looks to be working in a store, and music is basically his entire life, so it just feels right.

He ends up working in the record store with a barely legal kid called Jisung, who vaguely resembles a squirrel and has way too much energy for Yoongi to handle. Sure, the kids’ cool and seems to really know his stuff. They talk about producing and music for a really long time, since Jisung is interested in studying music production just like Yoongi. Yoongi can tell he has a talent for lyrics and he’s impressed by the rap that Jisung performs for him, but there’s only so much excited talking and yelling and gesturing Yoongi can take all at once.

He decides to go see what Jimin is up to and ‘randomly’ walk by the jewellery store a little bit down the hall.

“Hey Jisung, I’m gonna go out for a while, you good?” he asks Jisung, while already half way out of the door.

Jisung looks like a dear in headlights but replies with a short, stuttered “oh, okay hyung.”

He makes his way to the store and walking in, he is once again blown away by Jimin’s beauty. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it. He approaches the counter and decides, for the sake of the show, and since there are other people too, to just pretend to be a customer.

“Hello, I’m looking to get some custom rings made, do you do that here?”, he asks a confused looking Jimin.

“Uh hi, yeah Sir we do those, what would you like?” Jimin thankfully plays along.

“Okay, so. Hear me out. I want 4 rings, one for each of these fingers (he points to his pointy to pinky fingers) right? And I want them like big ass rings with like glittery stones and like you know those rings rappers have? Like that. And I want each one to be a different letter and I want them to spell out SUGA. You think you can do something like that?”

Jimin looks confused as fuck and maybe even a little bit bewildered.

“Um ok, I think I understand what you mean, Sir. You are aware that this will probably cost quite a bit, yes?”

“Whatever it takes, I’m very dedicated to the idea.”

“If I may ask, why SUGA?”

Yoongi leans in, as if to let Jimin in on a secret and whispers, “because I’m sweet like sugar, babe” while winking horribly.

When he pulls away, Jimin is looking at him with the most done expression on his face that Yoongi has ever seen someone pull.

The audience and panel, who have been watching their interaction from the studio, burst out laughing at the way Jimin looks into the camera like he’s on the office, rolling his eyes so far back, only the whites of his eyes are visible.

“So, what do we know about Yoongi? He seems to be quite the rebel here, hitting on our lovely Jimin rather than literally anyone else,” Heechul says with amusement.

“Well hyung, his application was rather unusual, I must say. Rather than write about why he wanted to be on our show, he wrote about his passion for music, how he’s been playing the piano since he was a kid and boasting about his, admittedly, excellent rapping skills,” Holland explained.

“Wait, I’m confused, why was he accepted then? It sounds like he said nothing about this show and wanting to be on it at all?”, Key questioned.

“Well, with his application, he also admitted a demo song called ‘Cypher pt.3’. The lyrics are well… suggestive of his sexuality. He mentions, and I quote ‘Like you all know my voice turns people on, whether it be men or women, my flexible tongue movements will send them to Hong Kong’. I guess recruitment saw potential?”

“Well my man Yoongi certainly has a lot of faith in his oral skills,” Key said with a way too suggestive wink. “Gotta hope Jimin goes for him or I might have to myself.”

“Now, now, hyung, please keep it in your pants,” Holland mediated, but failed to keep a grin off his face.

While Jimin is a little irritated by the fact that Yoongi is still hanging out with him and clearly not attempting to even look at anyone that isn’t Jimin, instead of actually doing what he is supposed to, he can’t help but feel a little flattered at the fact that this (really fucking hot) guy has chosen to say fuck it, and just hang out with him. He really tries to not encourage Yoongi any further, but as much as he doesn’t want it to, his face eventually betrays him and he starts smiling at the horribly cheesy pick-up lines Yoongi keeps throwing his way.

After he’s finally gotten a smile from Jimin, Yoongi doesn’t leave the jewellery store for the rest of the show, even though Jimin repeatedly tells him that this is not what he’s supposed to do and he wont win if he stays. Yoongi honestly doesn’t give the slightest fuck about winning, considering this isn’t what he signed up for in the first place.

In the end, he gets bad marks from the judges, which was to be expected. He didn’t talk to a single person that wasn’t Jisung or Jimin the whole day and it didn’t even cross his mind to go look for a guy to chat up. On the one hand, it was definitely a consequence of the fact that he had not singed up for this show in the first place. On the other hand, even if he could’ve been convinced to participate, after seeing Jimin, that idea would’ve been scrapped pretty quickly. There was just no way that Yoongi could go after anyone else, when someone like Jimin existed.

After the recording had finished, everyone was back in the green room, changing, taking off their makeup, generally relaxing after a whole day of filming. Yoongi was ready to get the fuck out of there, sick of having a camera shoved in his face all day and his social battery was running pretty low. He was about to say goodbye and bolt, when Jimin walked in again, now back in his jeans and hoodie that he had worn when Yoongi first met him. Sure, Jimin had looked downright ethereal in the velvet outfit he had worn during the taping, but Yoongi couldn’t help but prefer his casual look, messy hair and makeup free face.

“Hey peeps! I hope all of you had lots and lots of fun today! I totally understand if you just want to get home, but I thought I would extend the invitation anyways: me and a bunch of the panel and crew are going out for a drink at a club around the corner, so anyone who would like to, is welcome to come! Well, unless you’re underage, sorry kids!” Jimin said with an apologetic smile towards the younger contestants.

Yoongi reallllllly wanted to go home and vegetate on his couch with a bag of chips and watch shitty reality tv reruns, but deep down he knew, as soon as Jimin invited them, that he would tag along. He hadn’t managed to convince Jimin to give him his phone number all day and he wasn’t about to let this perfect opportunity slip by him.

Which is how a tired, lowkey grumpy and Definitely-Not-Ready-for-This Yoongi ended up in a gay club on a Thursday night with a bunch of people he’d only met that day. He was beginning to regret it though, because as soon as they had arrived, he’d lost sight of Jimin who was being pulled along by some way too hyper kid called Taehyung (Yoongi thinks, he isn’t great with names).

He was about to turn and leave, when he saw him again. Now, up until this moment, Yoongi had believed that Jimin was some sort of angel, sent to him from heaven to make him see exactly what he was missing out on and what paradise would look like. Jimin had been this pure ray of light that was just too good to be true.

But in about 0.01 seconds, his outlook changed a whole 180 degrees. Now he was convinced Jimin was a demon, sent from hell to torture him in any way possible. Not only was he cute and adorable and clearly sculpted by the gods, but the way he was moving those hips and well-toned thighs in those tight pants was downright sinful.  There was just no other way to describe it.

Yoongi’s breath caught in his throat when Jimin turned and made eye-contact with him. His hips never stopped moving and Jimin’s face curled into a lowkey predatory smirk, his eyes dropping half closed (which was about the most attractive thing Yoongi had ever seen in his entire life). Yoongi quickly realized that he had been caught staring and turned away, feeling his face rapidly heat up. He must look like a goddamn fool, caught with his mouth hanging wide open, red as a tomato. Way to be subtle.

He startled when he felt someone tap his shoulder. He spun his barstool around way too quickly and almost knocked over Jimin, who was now standing way too close to him.

Jimin leaned in, so Yoongi could feel his hot breath on his ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

“I saw you looking, hyung. Did you like what you saw?”

Yoongi temporarily lost his ability to speak. He had flirted with Jimin all day, but the boy had only had shy giggles and small smiles for him in return. Jimin being so forward and flirty was throwing Yoongi for a loop.

“Y-yes,” he managed to stutter out.

“You know, hyung, this isn’t a look but don’t touch situation. I wouldn’t mind if you touched, too,” Jimin said and leaned away again to gage Yoongi’s reaction.

Yoongi spluttered for a second, trying to find an appropriate response. Jimin seemed to have mercy on him. He was holding out his hand, an invitation to the dance floor.

Now Yoongi was not a dancer. He was a rapper, a lyricist, a producer. He was excellent at all those things, but dancing? He looked like a drunk grandpa at a wedding.

But when Jimin held out his hand, Yoongi couldn’t deny him. He let himself be dragged onto the dance floor, and when Jimin turned around, pressed his (glorious) ass into his crotch, put Yoongi’s hands on his waits and started to rock his hips, Yoongi’s brain short circuited. He stood completely stiff for at least 20 seconds, before Jimin turned his head to look at him with a questioning gaze. He quickly broke out of his trance, tightened his grip on Jimin’s waist and began to move.

Yoongi didn’t ever think he’d get so into dancing, but he really started enjoying himself. Sure, it was probably due to the fact that he had the hottest man alive grinding, not so subtlety, on his dick but whatever. His hands had migrated under Jimin’s shirt at some point, touching the glorious abs that seemed to be there and Jimin’s hands were fisted into his hair, pulling slightly, not that he minded.

It seemed like Jimin had hit a breaking point, when he suddenly turned around forcefully, cupped Yoongi’s face with both his hands and smashed his lips against his. The instant heat that came over Yoongi was glorious and he couldn’t believe that Jimin was kissing him. He moaned into the kiss, pulled Jimin impossibly closer.

Later, when Yoongi was stroking Jimin’s bare back, who he was lying with his head on his chest, drawing slow circles with his fingers, both of them a little out of breath, he thought back to how his day had started. This was certainly not the ending he had predicted, but he certainly wasn’t complaining one little bit.

Pt. 1