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#i still don't really know what strokes are my brain is very much programmed for football terms
rolandkaros · 6 months
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6, 23, 25
-@fritzes
6. favorite surface to watch?
probably clay! objectively it's my favorite, plus imo clay matches are generally more fun and a lot of my favorite players are good on clay
23. what's your favorite stroke?
this is one of the ones i can't really answer 💀
more recently learned about the term "inside-out forehand" and have subsequently become very fond of it
25. if you could change the result of one match, which one would you pick?
my god, i mean. the easiest one would be rg final 2023, but idk, i feel like it's difficult bc at the time i actually was very happy with the result...and if iga didn't win she wouldn't have been year end #1. i think i don't have enough knowledge of tennis from previous years to give a non-recency-bias answer but my next would probably be wimbledon final 2023.
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postmoe · 1 month
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more wise x reader smutty content pretty pls 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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I was gonna do red rooms Wise but I change my mind and it's dentist Wise now. I will try and get red rooms out though I want to talk about it I just need my brain to do the thing.
gn reader but you are wearing a skirt and panties. (kinda) somnophilia, anaesthetic, non-con, oblivious reader
.
Yandere Dentist Wise who has his favourite patient and can be very strict with them.
He's a very happy dentist most of the time but he knows when you haven't been flossing.
"Just look at these molars! Don't tell me you've been giving up half way? Your premolars aren't looking too great either..."
It's clear you're trying your best, and since Wise is such an affordable dentist, it really urges you to care about your dental health more than you could have ever afforded to before.
First things first: to clean everything up. He takes x-rays, does a general wash, and discusses where to go and what to do from here.
"You... You want to put me to sleep?" You ask on the fourth visit. At first it was going to be a general anaesthetic, but, now he wants to change the whole program.
His large hand gently caresses yours as you sit anxiously in the chair, his smile sincere, "You have absolutely nothing to worry about, (Y/n). It'll be easier for me to do what I need to do, and we can get more done in one session than needing to split it up more than we have to. You trust me, don't you?"
And you do, you really, very do trust Wise. Your mouth has never felt better, the little discomforts you weren't even aware you had were now non-existent.
So you let him do what he needs to do. You turn up to your appointment, you let him get you settled in the chair, mask over your face and having you relax. His thumb gently strokes the curve of your cheekbone as your eyes flutter close and you're finally at his mercy.
Oh, how he treasures this moment. Camera angled, clothes dishevelled, and your chair leaned back so your mouth can readily take his aching cock.
Your throat is so relaxed, you barely make any choking sounds, only little whines here and there that he prays his audio will get - which it will.
His hand encompasses your throat as it bulges with his cock, going so deep and constricting yourself around it. His eyes roll back and he focuses on the way your limp, velvety tongue just lets him jut wetly into you.
He can't come down your throat, not when you're under aesthetic right? No, he won't. He values you too much to risk you dying on his seed, even if that does sound kinda hot to the psychopath.
So he pulls out and shudders as thick, white ropes string over your lashes, nose, lips and over your neck.
Your breathing makes your chest rise, deeper inhales now that he wasn't obstructing you.
Eye half-lidded, he sits on his little wheelychair and comes to your side, puckering your come-stained lips and kissing you with the fervour of a madman.
Fuck, you're absolutely delicious and you have no idea what kind of spell you've put on him.
His cock twitches again and he checks the time. Yes, one more round. He adjusts your chair so that when he sits by your legs, he's able to lift your skirt and dig his nose into your heated panties.
There's a little wet patch forming, only growing when his tongue starts licking you and he sucks on the fabric around your tasty sex, all while his cock is being fisted in his hand.
.
By the time you wake, you're clean and numb enough that you don't suspect anything. Wise tells you he just wants to do one more check before you go, make sure the stitches are still stable inside your mouth.
You think nothing of it, groggily letting his access your open face. His fingers move your tongue around, your cheeks, poking at teeth.
What really causes the blush on his face is the way your throat has nicely bruised from the beating of his cock. He can see right down it and the swelling, purple-hues of the muscle are enough to make him leak in his pants.
He did that. He fucked your mouth so good that now he can visually see the success. He can't help the victorious look he gives to the micro camera in the light above you, sensually dragging his finger over your tongue once more before retreating.
As you fix your clothes, giving extra attention to the weird skew of your skirt, he takes his gloves off and gives you a satisfied smile, "I'll see you in two weeks to remove the stitches! Take care, darling~"
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v3nusxsky · 1 year
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Just re-sending this ask/request! :D
Hello !! Just dropping in to say hi and maybe ask a request (I feel bad 'cause I might be swamping you or annoying you with requests TvT)
Hope you're feeling good today!
And I just wanted to share something that happened to me (might be a good idea for a fic tbh 🥲 especially a platonic Larissa x student! reader). So there's this competition that I joined, my english teacher mentored me. I was very confident with my skills, and she really believed in me a whole lot (She saw my entry for the competition and gave me a thumbs up, that's a really good thing). When the results came out, I lost. We were both confused, because we know I had a great chance in entering the top ranks but welp just have to deal with it.
When the results came out, I was busy answering some worksheets. She came up to me and asked if I was okay, and she told me that the results came out. I was laughing out my nervousness, and when she showed me I didn't know what to say. She then immediately hugged me and told me it was okay and she was still proud of me (she really brought up my mommy issues that day. All throughout the day, until the awarding program, she comforted me. Received tons of hugs from her and it makes the pain of losing a bit better really.
I'm sorry for rambling hajdbchd again I hope you're okay!!! Sending lots of love and hugs <33
- 🦝
Proud of you sweetheat| h&c
*Authors note~ I hope I do this some justice and I'm so proud of you for putting yourself out there*
Trigger warnings~ none?
Prompt~ see ask^^^^
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Larissa had been working with you recently to further the clear skill you had for literature. She knew you were fairly real rounded with English but your favourites were poetry and creative writing. She couldn't help but suggest you for the creative writing competition coming up, she knew you had a clear talented and wanted to help build your confidence in your abilities. She had every faith in your submission , after all she'd been reading over it to help with your thought process and brain storming.
Larissa watched how hard you worked, desperately trying to find the idea that felt best. The smile you wore the day you came to her office to inform her you knew what your submission was. Then she was able to watch you turn a rough plot into a beautiful story. Your proud but tired smile the night you finished your story and presented it to her. It was truly a joy to watch someone as talented as you work. You were practically beaming when Larissa gave you a thumbs up and a smile after reading your work.
Result day, you anxiously waited to be called to her office, but Larissa Weems was on phone call after phone call trying understand how on earth you'd lost to someone from Jericho high, she felt their entry was lacking compared to yours and truly she felt that this could be some sort of prejudice due to you having abilities. But even after all the phones calls she came up blank, they were adamant that it was all fair so she had to let you know despite how much she knew it would break your little heart.
You were called to her office around lunch time and immediately you sensed the mood due to your ability. "I didn't get it did I?" You whimpered and you received a sad nod. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" She knew it was a loaded question and attempted to keep her feelings neutral to help your ability. Your face feel which caused her to immediately come and hold you close. "Oh darling, I'm so sorry I don't understand why, I've been trying to figure it out all morning."  She murmured stroking threw hair as you accidentally projected your disappointment and sadness at the woman.
"You will always be my favourite palm tree and my favourite writer, when you get that book of your published I want a copy, and when you become all famous I hope you remember me and know I'll come to every signing to show you my support. I couldn't be prouder of you and I have so much faith in your ability darling, never give up." Her words rang around your head all day, anytime she could she would find ways to comfort you and reminded you of how much she enjoyed your stories.
Word count~ 761
Tag list ~ @enchantressb @fortheloveofaproditesblessings @medeaswifey @scream-queenlover @larrisalessopet @briennethebeautysstuff @xx-state-of-mind-xx @i-write-sometimes-maybe @farahtissaiamyloves @just-your-casual-nerd @pebbleswritessometimes
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java-dragon · 11 months
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Bookbinding for Beginners by a Beginner Part 3
*braces self on a door frame* Right there's a lot of information I still need to cover so lets get into it.
I don't recall if I told everyone to set up the document to be booklet type or not but here's how to do that (I'm not re-reading what I wrote my brain stopped working at some point)
But Layout Tab, Page Layout, hit the little arrow pointing towards the document:
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I have the sheets per booklet set to 32, but this site is helpful for helping you get the exact number of signatures (a portion of the fic you are printing it is one section of the book, whereas a text block is the whole thing together)
That's if you want to print through the program you're type facing (the text within the pages all of the formatting and indents and everything we started covering in part 2 is type facing). I have totally done printing through the word processor but there is a different option that I will cover later down this post.
For now I'm going to try and remember all of the extra stuff I need to cover. A lot of this is trial an error and fiddling, farting, and sometimes sobbing your way through this.
OH! Right if the fic you're type facing has a fake email. Like.... I don't know "[email protected]" Word will sensor it automatically when you paste it onto the document. The only work around I have is to have the OG link to the fic you're working on, and try your best to locate the email copy it, and find it within the text of the document using the headers to skip to the chapter in question and scan for the brackets with [Email redacted] or some such, it's usually blue text with "[ ]" going on.
I can't truly think of anything else at this time pertaining to my tips and tricks for Word. There is more I may know but my mind is fizzling out I may circle back to this but I think I'll move on towards downloading and uploading fonts to use in your bookbinding adventures and some Canva stuff.
DaFont and 1001 Free Fonts work
Dafont:
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1001:
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I'll be using these two Fonts as my examples cause... well I actually quite like them.
Hit "Download"
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This will pop up on your screen hit "OK"
Go to your Downloads or where you put your downloads,
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Right click on the file in question and hit "Extract All"
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Hit Extract.
Click on the folder post extraction. The file type you're looking for is "Open Type Font File" Right Click, "Install" or "Install for all Users" works as well and the font will be available to anyone that has a User key for the computer you're on.
Sometimes the file will look like this:
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The Greyed out one? That's the type file.
There will be a pop up that says "Installing Font" give it a few seconds and it will disappear.
You will now be able to open up your word processor and go to the font section and be able to find your newly downloaded font
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Enjoy your new found power in getting fancy pants fonts on your word documents!
Now... Canva...
You can download it for free like I said. I have it on my phone and on my computer as a software application:
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So I don't accidentally doxx myself this is all you really need to see- you can do much much more than bookcovers, I've done bookmarks, and logos and a few other things.
but for our purposes we'll open up a document and make a few pages:
At the very tippy top that I did not show there's "create Design" I usually hit either "Bookcover" or "ebook cover".
There will be a document with some template examples and you can scroll and see if you like any of those. OR You can just go down to "Elements" and start playing and toying around with that.
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You can also grab screen captures of decorative lines to replace the "***" on your document.
How to do this- in elements there should be a search bar type in "decorative lines" and you can refine it "Decorative Rainbow" "brush stroke" "ornate" then open up the application on your computer that allows for screen shots Snip and Sketch for Windows, I don't know for Mac. Sorry.
Select something you like and when it appears on the document click outside of it.
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open up your screen grab and grab the line in question
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Here's my example.
Now in your word document feel free to go into the Pages tab of the Navigation bar and find whatever the author has used to break up the text. Highlight, right click, hit "search" There will be a pop up on the right hand of word hit the tab that says "Search this document/file" you can see how many times "***" or the equivalent has been used. I would suggest opening this link and reading all of the other tips and tricks since they break it down better than I ever could.
Edit as of November 18th 2023: But the root gist of it all is to highlight the "***" or equivalent divider on the document. Right click, "Search" there will be a prompt that opens on the right hand side of Word hit the "In this Document" and it will bring up every instance of what you have highlighted.
Have the image you intend to replace "***" with right click "Copy". Back in Word, hit "Replace" there will be a box that pops up with "Replace with" Type: ^C . What this does is take the image you've just copied and will override the highlighted "***" Hit "Replace all". You may have to scrub through the document to center it properly but thankfully it's easier to find especially with the Navigation Bar on the "Pages" tab open.
End Edit
Though you can just scroll and find the breaks highlight and drag and drop the image to break up the text if you so choose. Do what works for you.
Now you can also do the same thing with decorative chapter headers, just choose or fiddle and make something that works for the fic in question. Remember when I made you do all of those "Next Page" breaks for the fic? Well on the top of that page with the chapter, double click the header insert an image and "warp image" to "Behind text" and you are free to resize and move the image around.
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Just so you know whatever is next to the image will repeat with this example it's the author's name, it will appear no matter the page number odd or even. I don't know the work around and it doesn't bother me much at the end of the day. At this point I'm just trying to pull all of the tips and tricks I've learned over time out of my ass to help people out.
Back to Canva. You can make your Covers if you'd like in this and you can do decorative cover pages. Just go to the page that you want the title page on, insert an image, and warp image to "In front of text" You will be free to stretch and fill the page as much as you please. I do the same thing with my logo placement for the logo page.
Now... if you're still with me... Congratulations I'm not sure I'm still with me or not.
So I'll move on to the "OK I like how this all looks and I've saved everything I've done"
GREAT you can calculate the right number of signatures and print from here OR you can take a few extra steps.
Hit File, Export, hit Create PDF/XPS. I hope you have at least a free Acrobat or PDF reader. Wait. Don't panic if it looks like the processor is freezing up on you. there should be a pop up of a PDF after that minor heart attack.
Now. With your new PDF you're going to go to Bookbinder JS
Upload the pdf file you've created and I'll walk you through the steps.
Letter 612 x 792 is your standard 8.5 x 11 paper.
Printer type- Duplex I hope you have a duplex printer. You'll need it or else you will be manually flipping the pages to make this book bind.
Folio- That is just 8.5 x 11 paper folded in half to make 8.5 x 5.5 booklets. Keep these numbers in mind.
Signature format- there you can select "Perfect bound" AKA Paperback. Or Standard signature. Here I select 20 page signatures. Keep in mind that there will be four pages per one sheet of paper.
Preview output ALWAYS preview output because it will tell you how many signatures will be with the upload. For example:
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What this means: Total pages of the file uploaded, since the fic I'm type facing is 300+k words I divided the chapters up.
so you know what a 100+k word fic looks like printed folded and the air compressed (I will cover this as well) Keep this in mind this was Celestial Navigation now add similarly stacked pages atop of what's here. 100+k fics it's wisest and best to split this in half. Keep in mind your wrists. 500-600 pages is comfortable holding. You can get to around 800 pages but if it's 900+ pages I would think about dividing the document up.
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After you are happy with the number of everything. Hit "Generate Output" wait for the popup for the save file to appear and hit "Save" this will be in a zip file as well. Head over to your Downloads and hit extract, open up the file and some terminology that will help with this:
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Aggregate book means "the whole damn thing" Signature 0 is the first signature.
To spare the wrath and protest of my printer- I print one signature at a time and fold it since I don't have to worry about getting the page numbers to line up.
Take however much time you please. Next post. Folding signatures, pressing signatures, stitching, gluing end bands and ribbons.
aka- welcome to the world little fic. We hope you enjoy your stay. You're going to be a real book soon.
If I wasn't running out of steam I would cover Quartos. But if you wanted to print a smaller fic know this- increase the text size through out the whole document, these things are SMALL. 4.5x5.5 all said and done. I would go to TikTok and Youtube and look up "Quarto Book bind" if you want to see the smallest, cutest most pain in your ass book you've ever wanted to try and make.
I've done those as experiments as well... they can be fun but my god I'm bad at mathing at times.
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aralezinspace · 1 year
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Writeblr Positivity Tag
was tagged by both @chromehoplite and @hangfiretales and haven't really had Brain to write so fingers crossed this helps get the juices flowing again xD Under a cut cuz I kinda went off with the answers xD
1. What motivates you to write?
Rereading my favorite stories, certain movies- I forget what Tolkien called it, but just the urge to create after seeing something beautiful that someone else has created. Also telling stories as a sort of release for the feelings/vibes/sentiments that I just don't have space to experience in my every day life.
2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)
From one of Megan’s stories I’m starting to rework so it’s one cohesive thing and not a tumblr RP thread xD
The truth… Megan laced her fingers and leaned forward, resting her forearms on her thighs. Her hazel eyes stared without focus into the distance. How much of the truth to tell him, at least at this moment.
3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?
Guardian Megan Samuels. Both she and her order were created for/in the Doctor Who universe, but I'm tweaking some of the concepts for a potential OW. Writing her adventures got me through a really horrible period of my life.
Megan is the embodiment of one of my favorite tropes, "character is done with x but x isn't done with them (because they're good at it)." She was plucked from her life and remolded into a warrior, yet despite being hundreds of years old and seeing untold horros (time war) she hasn't succumbed to cynicism.
She's kind and self sacrificing almost to the point of martyrdom, very protective of the ones she cares about, "you said pick my battles, I'm picking all of them", the hardened exterior of a warrior hiding the fragile, broken, vulnerable, and somehow still kind and optimistic person underneath.
Fuck I miss writing her. Might be time to dust off her old stories...
4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?
The semi stressful feeling when the ideas and plot are forming faster than your fingers can type- and when the flow stops, going back and tweaking the whole ass story or scene that just popped into existence like Athena did to Zeus xD just watching the story unfold before you, sometimes in ways you didn't think it would
5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)
How I write action, specifically fights. Pacing it and varying the language so it's engaging but also realistic within the world of the story, and also the thoughts and feelings of the characters while they're fighting.
Also how I can almost always find the right/specific words to describe the vaguest of vibes and feelings, so that the ephemeral mess in my head is understandable (prob cuz I had to do that a lot to get people in my life to understand how I was experiencing the world)
6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?
Both the commiseration about how writing is wonderful and awful at the same time, and seeing normally eloquent writers have incoherent unhinged conversations about their blorbos xD
7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)
Sticky notes and a notebook. I have post-its in the back of my writing notebook with all my ideas/prompts so that if I want to write something but don't know what, I can pick one. also specifically those notebooks with folders in them, they're the unsung heros of writers who just accumulate scrap paper with notes and ideas and want to keep them with their writing notebook (aka me) xD
8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)
In the Doctor Who universe that Megan was originally created for, the Order of Guardians is formed of soldiers of different species from all over the universe, kind of like the Green Lantern corps but for Time Lords. Each Guardian is assigned a Time Lord to protect, how they go about that is their business (Megan is basically glued to the Doctor's hip, she gotta be xD), but their first loyalty is to Gallifrey. They are all enhanced to live as long as Time Lords but don't regenerate, they go through extensive training and schooling, are the elite fighting force of Gallifrey. Megan was the first human Guardian. I'm working on tweaking this whole concept for a potential OW, we'll see how it goes xD
9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?
Write what you want to write, no matter what it is. Go to your sources of motivation, whatever makes you want to get lost in the magic of storytelling. and remember, it's okay to step away for a bit and come back to it in a few days or weeks or however long- give your brain the space to rest.
10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters.
Both Chrome and Ama who are already tagged (such amazing writers and so supportive of my multi chap that I've been working on for 3 ish years now) but also @griever-bit-my-finger @honeybeezgobzzzzz @7-wonders @just-french-me-up @just-some-random-blogger @roguelov @cuckoo-on-a-string @peachesofteal @undiscovered-horizon @just-some-random-blogger All of these folks have multiple works that I've read multiple times, and I enjoy them just as much every reread as I did the first time (No pressure to do the questions just my undying love)
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random movie every week week 1/1498 - Robocop
hello, i have a lot of movies and i have not seen that many of them. so every week i will watch a movie at random, and then right a little blog about it and give it a rating out of 5 stars
THE RULES
i can skip any marvel movie i want (because i have seen them and i don't want to watch them again)
i can skip any movie i have seen more than twice (the goal is to watch movies that are new to me, but could be interesting to return to a movie i have only seen once, hence the rule)
ratings are out of 5 stars, with NO HALF STARS. half stars are for babies
Robocop (1987)
(i have never seen Robocop before)
going into Robocop i was pretty convinced i was going to watch 1 hour ad 42 minutes of copaganda, and there was some of that to be clear but i was pleasantly surprised at my reaction to Robocop
the broad strokes of the plot are a cop on duty goes into a bad situation, and gets himself killed. a corporation takes his dead body, and converts him into Robocop - a cyborg programmed to 'uphold the law' among other directives. he does normal cop things for a while, but then has a dream and regains a portion of his memories. Robocop then uses the rest of the film to enact vengeance on the bad guys who killed him.
there are two guys in the corporation (i do not know their names). Guy Number 1 is the second in command at this company, and he tries to get them to develop a roaming automatic mech that does "law enforcement" but that mech kills a guy in the meeting, and he does not get the go ahead to deploy the mech.
Guy Number 2 gets robocop off the ground on the heels of that mech fucking up. so No. 1 hates No. 2. Guy No. 1 is working with the CRIMINALS who killed the cop who would become robocop, and has those guys kill Guy No. 2.
Robocop kills all the guys. Robocop goes to the corporation, and kills Guy No. 1. end of movie.
what i found really surprising about robocop is how much i felt for robocop's situation. it's implied when Robocop gets created that they are going to wipe his memory and make him a machine with oragnic bits designed for optimal coppin'. but very quickly we find out that it does not take much at all for robocop to regain some of his consciousness. so almost immediately i was like 'oh what a horrible curse to be turned into a cyborg to do the job that killed you until your organic bits rot out, i guess, would be the end of that.'
i ended feeling for him a lot. when they are converting him, there is a scence where they want to keep one of his organic arms that is still functional and working, and Guy No. 2 is like 'he signed the release form and he's dead we can do whatever we want cut his arm off'. and later on when Robocop starts to regain his memories a bit, Guy No. 2 is like 'he doesn't have a Name he is My Product' which i had so many yucky anti-capitalist feelings about
while on the one hand i felt for him, i also felt if you zoomed out a bit, the implications of a super durable cop cyborg who is frankly NOT programmed that well, and can just do whatever Right Away, is super terrifying. robocop throughout the entire film does not follow protocols at all, he is just killin guys all the time. no one seems to quesiton this. i was terrified of the idea of robocop
these things i was holding simultaneously in my brain and heart i thought was really interesting philosophically in terms of like, i do have the capacity to feel for someone inside of an oppressive system being used against his will to uphold that system, and also to fear how that system could fine tune and use something like robocop to exert their power over everyone, and how terrifying that is.
I gave Robocop a 3/5, ultimately. i was interested in the questions and scenarios it was posing about the effects of capitalism to create an authoritarian implementation of policing in a city, while also calling into question the line between bodily autonomy after a person dies, and how even when it is clear that cyborg has memories of their past life, are they still that cyborg? are they that person they were? the pacing of the film was kind of jittery and weird feeling to me, and that off putting pacing knocked down Robocop as a Film. i did enjoy myself tho
here are my stream of consciousness notes as i watched the film if you are interested
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that's robocop! i may not write As Much for every film! it just depends!
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skyecreature · 1 year
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Artificial Intelligence.
TL;DR. I think AI and Neural Networks are really cool as a technology, but the way they are currently being used is terrible and needs to be stopped.
You don't have to read this, I just wanted to get my thoughts down on paper. Read more block because it's long.
I don't know if there's a formalized definition, but, for the most part, AI is any program or system that can create the illusion of decision-making.
In recent times, it's been used to refer generative AI specifically, but many things could be classified as AI. Minecraft's mobs have to make decisions on how to move. In fighting games, a CPU opponent must decide how to approach the player. Both of these and many others I, and many others, have called AI before. "AI opponents." "The cow's AI is making it spin on the fence." (Weeee!)
More recently, AI is closely employed alongside Neural Networks and Machine Learning. Which is like, basically just a digital simulation of exactly how our brains work. Which I genuinely think is really really cool! You're creating something that can appear smart from only feeding it random numbers and telling if is it's doing good or bad. And from there it eventually becomes something. It's a beautiful execution of mathematics.
Now, somebody realized that, finding data to compare to for this "good" or "bad" was pretty hard to find in bulk. So people made their own data sets. Until those weren't enough. Now, we steal artwork. And herein lies my first problem with AI, as does most people. It's one thing to look at another person's artwork and be like: "oh, that's cool, I want to try copying their art style." I would have no issue with that. (And even so, if I try to copy someone's style, I will always say who.) But that's not what it is. It's taking someone's (or rather, many people, but that doesn't make this any better), and sitting down in a metaphorical classroom to study this artwork as your one and only basis in "learning to draw."
This is basically beating a dead horse, but, like, it's very very sad for me to see something I cared deeply about, (I loved watching Sethbling's videos on 'training a network to beat Mario Bros.' and similar videos, long before the whole AI thing), and now it's become perverted because it's built on a throne of lies, as the saying goes.
My second problem with AI, and while still an echo of much I've seen elsewhere, slightly less so, is that it seems to be a perfect insistence on it being generative, when you could use this technology so much better. I want AI to assist artists, not work against them. What if your paint bucket tool could tell when there was a 1-pixel gap in the fill and, even if not "smart closing" the gap, at least be able to find where it is, because those can be bloody annoying to spot. Or what if you could pull two strokes apart that you put on the same layer 20 minutes ago and didn't notice until now? What if you could just tap in an area to mask your shading brush without carefully lassoing the part you want? There's so many many better ways this technology could be getting used, and I hate it. I hate it so much, that the way it's implemented is "replace," and not "help."
IDK if I'm really trying to make a point with this. I just wanted to get my thoughts out. If you disagree or think I could have worded something better, please leave a reply.
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dzpenumbra · 1 year
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5/28/23
Lots of progress made on the skull. :)
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I don't really know what to do for the rest of it yet, still kinda feeling it out, but I'm really happy with how that turned out. Plenty of room left in the middle for that design when I figure out what I'm going to do.
I really built up that piece in my mind because... it's one of a kind. And very permanent. That was the skull of a living being, a soul, an individual. And ink is super permanent, no room for fuck ups. And it kinda got me.
Weird... how someone who spent a good 3 years of their life pursuing a tattooing career (only to be backstabbed by their own artist...) had hesitation and difficulty starting an ink piece on a non-living canvas. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I remember doing my intensive apprenticeship thing so vividly. The most memorable being matching tattoos I did on a mother and daughter, on the tops of their feet. And they came out great, I really didn't have much hesitation with it either. In fact, I was the first to volunteer to ink a person for the first time - and inked one of my teachers. And don't get me wrong, there were nerves... but not this kind.
I guess that's more reason to keep doing pieces like this. It's a really important reminder that... everything is permanent. And every piece is one-of-a-kind. And... this is a tough one for the logical, controlling brain to really accept... there is no such thing as a fuck up. Not in art.
You'll always get people who argue that. I'll even argue it with myself. But man, if you can actually get yourself to accept that? It's so fucking liberating. There is no such thing as a fuck up. It's just... something different. If I intend for a brush stroke to look one way and I sneeze and it goes flying off in a different direction? That's simply... part of the piece's character, and as the artist, it's up to you to decide what to do with that. As a musician, if you're in the middle of an improvised solo and hit a D# when you're going for D? It's up to you, as the musician, to make that work. To make it make sense.
And here's a little hack. To any of you interested in nourishing your creativity. PRACTICE THAT. Practice rolling with the punches. Practice making it work. Practice improvisation. Practice the fundamentals too, if you want, I mean... it's all really whatever you want to do when it comes to visual art or music. You can go your whole life and never learn theory or learn how to read music, plenty of people have. You can be a legendary artist and never study perspective or anatomy or shading or anything. Study what you feel you need, what pulls you in. That adds tools to your toolbelt. And then... you pull those tools out to improvise. But if you don't know how to improvise, or you don't allow yourself to improvise? The tools are useless. And you go "man, I spent years training... what for?!"
It's the jazz approach, I guess.
I feel so blessed that I was introduced to stream of consciousness and improvisation at a very young age - around 16-17. And, interestingly enough, it was because I had failed an English class. XD And a history class! And history was my favorite course! The history teacher failed me, and also... somehow, even though it was against school policy... benched me all season in basketball, my favorite sport at the time... and I really have no idea why to this day. So they actually tried to flunk me out of high school, but I ended up in some special education program... which really kinda fucked up my head, to be honest. Just because someone is struggling in school doesn't mean treat them like they're broken and threaten to throw them out of school, that's super fucked up. But honestly, it ended up being one of the best things that ever happened to me. Because my english teacher at the special education program, he could tell I was just... bored... and completely uninterested in the bog standard "read 50 pages a night" english memorization and recitation grind. Because I got my highest grade of all time in Creative Writing. So... he introduced me to the Beat Poets. And gave me a copy of The Dharma Bums, that I still have over on my bookshelf. And it changed my life forever.
I hope I get to sit down with him and share my gratitude for that someday. I'm sure, as an educator, that would bring him so much joy.
So yeah, I caught up on sleep which is dope. But that meant a late start to the day. But I got a lot of work on the skull done. And the whole day was basically watching RP streams and working on that.
My jasmine is really close to blooming, which is really exciting. The buds are getting really big and changing color. I really wasn't expecting it this soon! I'm gonna have to go take care of my plants pretty soon here before I head to bed, the sun is pretty much fully up at this point. I'll squeeze in a tarot reading first before I go.
First Position - Past - Three of Cups, inverted (Celebration, calling in good fortune, joy.  Social gathering, a heartfelt belonging in a community.) Second Position - Present - Queen of Wands (Warm, dedicated, confident, optimistic. Focusing inward to harness creative energy.) Third Position - Future - XIX: The Sun, inverted (Hope, clarity, confidence.  Success, fulfillment, revelation.)
Alright, this one is a bit tricky at first glance. Again... inversions always make things messy for me. But I'm gonna try to just trust my gut and see what I make of this. The origin of the thread is the "party card", which is a very clear image to me, especially given how rare it has been in my life. But... it's inverted... So... something from my past that inhibited my ability to be part of a close-knit community? Or maybe... the ripples of a close social event gone wrong... That led to the Present, where my introspection and introversion are basically perpetual. The Queen of Wands, my first time seeing it, felt super relatable when I drew it. It really does often feel like all of my time and effort is spent on introspection in an effort to nurture inner creative growth, and stimulate creative expression. And this trend... in the Future... can lead to... a blockage in fulfillment. This is tough to see, and a little hard to read. The Sun is supposed to be a really nice card to see, clarity and success, but inversion (in how I tend to read cards) means blockage or dysfunction. Chaos vs. Order. So... what I'm getting from this is... some serious dysfunction from partying led to a deep introversion and creative growth... but... if I continue on that course, it will not lead to success or fulfillment. I will be missing something. Hmm... I wonder what that missing part is... could it be... the only other inverted card on the board? Could it be... a social life? Social belonging? Being part of a community?
Getting pretty big deja vu right now. :) I wonder how many thousand times I've come to this realization. XD Balance is really important. And as much as I'm obsessed with work work work and self-improvement and all that shit... I miss just having some laughs with friends. I miss going on a walk by a river or on a beach and just casually chatting. I miss playing Jackbox. I miss throwing back some ciders and smoking a hookah and playing Phasmophobia or Space Engineers. I miss getting high and playing Wrecking Ball in Overwatch.
Creativity and self-expression are crucial for me. Self-improvement and self-care are super important. But man, life isn't all work work work all the time. So yeah, that was a helpful reminder. Maybe I should reinstall GTA V and hop on that RP server and just go dick around with people. Who cares if they're not good at RP, I'll carry. I have some ideas.
I had one character I kinda wanted to play named Jack Lyer. And his whole thing is... a riff off the 90's Jim Carrey movie Liar Liar... So the first thing I was going to do was go to the hospital and report to them that I just got into the city and my doctor told me I need to let them know and get my records transferred that I was in a severe car crash and suffered major brain damage, and a byproduct of that damage is that I was incapable of lying. Set the foundation of the character with a physical record that can be verified if needed, so I don't have to backfill that if people try to RP check me. I figured a character that is biologically incapable of lying could lead to some really funny interactions since crime is everywhere and it's such commonly known thing that you don't talk about it. So if anyone asks him anything, he has to tell the truth without hesitation. I like the premise, but I'm a little afraid it might be a bit tacky, or it might just get my character perpetually killed... but like... if he is... he's just going to tell the hospital and the cops literally everything that he remembers. XD I don't know, it could be fun.
Another character idea is a really super friendly guy who latches on to the first person who befriends him, and very gradually he starts to change his appearance to look exactly like that person. Very subtly though, like... one article of clothing at a time... subtle gestures, like imitating the way they stand. Stuff like that. Maybe even spying on them and following them around and shit. So, after days of (hopefully) unnoticeably gradual change, I end up looking exactly like that person. And if they ever confront me on it, I become a complete asshole, gaslight the fuck out of them and find someone else to repeat the process.
It's a start. I'm still tempted to go back and reboot my only character I really sunk time into - Raymond Holmes - who, during the in-game day, wanted to be a YouTube stuntman, but by night reverted into the mental capacity of a 7 year old child. If I do bring him back, I'm bringing him back without the personality flips, just child-mode. But... I'm just on the fence about playing a mentally handicapped person. I don't know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Being stuck in a child-like state as a mid-40's adult is very clearly a mental health problem... at least it's very clear to me. And... I was always very... direct with that. Like... this dude is not just some quirky goofy idiot character, this trait of his has very clearly dark roots that he really did not like talking about. And I treated it very directly like an arrested development thing, I just acted like a child in an adult's body, like I was playing an actual child. I stopped playing because the other players were kinda doing fucked up things, and not even hesitating. People just kept giving me booze and cigarettes and weed, and getting me in really dangerous situations. And it really just... made me uncomfortable. Like... it wasn't really done in a funny way, it was very 1 to 100 and very like... high school bullies at a party getting the house owner's little brother drunk until he almost ends up in the hospital and thinking it's funny... kinda vibes... So yeah, I mean... I feel like I could play someone with a severe mental health problem like that properly, and accurately... and respectfully... but I don't really trust others to interact with him as such, and yeah... that turned me off of RPing for a while.
Anyway, it's getting late. Good progress on work and glad to have a bit of a new direction. I think RP is the way for now, if I can find a good place for it. The search continues...
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coldtomyflash · 6 years
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Weird question, and it's perfectly okay if "I don't know" is your answer: How did you manage to do grad school AND finish writing so many good fics? I'm writing the lit review for my dissertation right now, and I want to finish several WIPs I have (if nothing else, just to prove to myself that I can), but it just feels like I can barely do either, much less both. Any advice at all?
Ah, no worries! It’s not that odd a question. Actually, someone’s asked me before ^^;  My reply to them at the time was here. No need to read it, but it’s some context? 
My reply now that my head is in a healthier place is... long and winding and not actually full of that much advice but eh, I rambled as I do. If you just want the advice, scroll all the way down and it’s there. 
For starters, I’m not a normal comparison point. This isn’t to pat myself on the back, but for a variety of reasons, writing is something that comes really naturally to me. I’ll detail those reasons, but before I get into that, the point I’m illustrating here is that... sometimes I think people compare themselves to how much I wrote and what else I accomplished in that time and think “hey cool - that is a function human! Why can’t I do that?” And the answer is short answer is that my brain is programmed for pretty much one thing, and that thing is writing writing, and holy crap I was the opposite of a functional human when writing that much and that quickly.
The long answer is - 
I’ve been making up stories literally as long as I can remember. I spent my childhood consuming stories. I taught myself to read and was during school I was consistently reading about 8 grade levels above my reading level, and loved learning about narrative structure. I annoyed the shit out of my older brother by reading the same book series as he read, but guessing plot points that were going to happen either in that book or else 2-3 books out. he didn’t get how I would just know and I’d be like “it’s obvious - that’s where the story has to go!” Because I was imagining it in my head - what i would do with it, where it would go, where it had to go. Closing the page mid0chapter and imagining the next-scene, and then picking back up to see how right or wrong I was.
And I had a best friend for most of my childhood through to early adulthood with whom I made stories. Every weekend, creating narratives together, not writing them down but basically roleplaying them by talking them out (voices and all, it was a heck of a lot of fun, as much as it made me pretty much the nerdiest teen in existence). We tried to write a novel when we were 12, got about 7 chapters in. We had a lot of starts and stops on other stories too.
Which isn’t said to stroke my own ego, it’s said to highlight that I have a metric fuckton of explicit and implicit practice at storytelling. It was and sort of is my “whole life”. I also had teachers that helped me develop storytelling skills, and was really freaking lucky to go to a school with an AP program for English that seriously stretched my ability to write fast. We had to write an essay every single class, during class, and have it finished by the end of class (or in less time if we had lecture stuff to go over too) in my last year of high school. The essays could be creative response (i.e., short stories). I wrote a short story almost every week in the space of an hour when I was 17. By the time I got to the end of year final and actually got to use a computer and type that shit instead of hand-cramping halfway through, I somehow managed to write the two-essay final in the allotted 3 hours and, i shit you not, had a wordcount of 6000 words. 
That’s still my record. It was probably a dumpster fire but I got 100% probably for sheer volume.
Anyway that was over a decade ago, but the whole reason this life story is pertinent is because - 
I have practice. The only way to improve at anything, to get faster at it, for it to ease, is to practice. Practice at storytelling, practice at having to set a scene using just words sitting in my BFF’s room and trying to describe the image I had in my head for how I wanted her to see the scene as it was playing out. Practice at writing fast and getting feedback on how to write. Practice implicitly at trying to imagine what routes stories can take. Practice taking stories apart and piecing them back together, in my head, all the time.
So that’s part of it. 
The other part, and this is what I said in my previous post, was depression. I was seriously fucking burnt out and depressed when I started writing coldflash fic, and grad school took a huge toll on my mental health. It’s easier to write when you’re doing it to procrastinate working on your dissertation, and easier to keep writing when you get positive feedback and it feeds those lovely dopamine gremlins in your brain who aren’t getting any positive validation from grad school because holy damn that shit is hard.
I had no balance in my life for a long time. It wasn’t good. I went to counselling. I got more balance. Fic slowed down. Still finished, but not 120k words in 3 months (that was the pace when I started fic writing...jfc I don’t know how I managed.) Life got harder. Fic was now harder to write. I got more counselling. Fic was easier to write. I moved around the world. Fic got harder to write. I started anti-depressants. Narratives now seem to be flowing again. 
Regardless of the state of my mental health though, I’ve never written as much as quickly as I did during the middle of grad school. And I think that’s because I was very narratively pent up when I started writing fic. I had been so busy and pushing myself so damn hard in grad school that I didn’t make almost any time for stories, for fic, for imagining my own stories. I was suppressing that side of myself in the service of Focus. So when I burnt out, my narrative side rebounded and said “fuck that noise, I still exist, and we’re making space for me”. It took over. I came literally a hair’s breadth from quitting my PhD post candidacy. Idk what type of program you’re in, but business schools in North America? It’s a 5 year PhD typically, and I was at the end of year 3 and eyeing the door.
Anyway - I say all that because - 
I am not a good example and you should not do what I did. Finishing that many long WIPs that quickly wasn’t healthy, and was only possible because I didn’t do much else at the time, and had a lifetime of practice and a narrative rebound to make it even possible. 
But - 
My actual advice?
1) Practice. Practice. Practice. 
Not all at once, but everything counts. Daydreaming counts. Watching shows and thinking of how they could be improved counts. Talking out story ideas with friends counts. Just make it fun. Practice is something we think of as arduous and annoying. Learning new words is practice. Meeting new people and considering their traits is practice. Everything can be practice for writing. All the research you do can be practice for writing. (Random note: a childhood coping mechanism for anxiety that I had was to narrate what I was doing to myself in my head in the 3rd person. Like telling a story of myself walking to gym class in my own head. That was also practice.)
2) Have fun with it! 
Don’t making writing an obligation. Then it’s another thing on the list of things you avoid. Finishing stories often feels like an obligation. I’m going through this right now with Needs Must. It can be hard to complete a WIP because you start to have internal anxieties about disappointing readers, not living up to expectations, exhaustion from that narrative, distraction / temporary loss of interest (which is normal! and not actually a bad thing!). All of that then makes you feel guilty, which makes it impossible to get into a creative space to write. You can’t work on the thing you’re avoiding.
3) It’s okay to give your WIPs breathing space. 
When you hit a wall, you may need to set it aside and read it again in a month with fresh eyes. You may need to treat your story like someone else’s story. That’s, again, literally where I’m at right now with Needs Must. I just reread a bunch of it and hadn’t really forgotten the details but once they’re on the page they’re out of my head, and so taking some time before going back to reread it made it easier for me to think of like I think of every other story: “what would I do next with this? Oh that’s a twist, that needs to come back later. There’s a theme here, we’ve seen that three times. What’s the best ending I, as a reader now, can imagine for this?”
If avoidance, guilt, and/or writer’s block aren’t your issue, and it’s literally just down to time management - 
4) Your graduate degree is more important than your WIPs. 
Your WIPs aren’t going anywhere, they don’t have a deadline, and your readers will wait for you, and new ones will find you. Time management is an essential, awful, part of being an academic. 
I get more done, both at work and creatively on fic, when I’m just a bit too busy, but that’s me. Figure out what is optimal for you, and do it. When do you get the most writing done? When you’re relieved? When you’re anxious? Late at night? First thing in the morning? When does it flow? When won’t it ruin your graduate career?
(Seriously I was writing fic at work last week and was kicking myself. I don’t have time for that shit! Set boundaries on your time!)
But full serious here, graduate school is exhausting, and almost inherently de-motivating, and even the best damn students eye the door a lot of the time, even if they do finish. It’s stressful and you feel constantly powerless. It’s a lot to need to cope with. I found writing to be a way to cope. That lit review you’re working on? Yeah, it’s zapping your time and energy. That’s normal (unfortunately). And it’s good to give yourself breaks from that to write. Don’t feel guilty for taking time here and there for yourself - to write, or to not write. To relax, unplug, unwind. To close your eyes and daydream (if you’re me) or have a bubble bath (if you’re my sister), or do whatever helps you honestly, genuinely destress. The best thing you can do for both writing and for graduate school is to take breaks and take time for yourself. There is actual science on the importance of breaks, and academics are fucking notorious for putting too much pressure on themselves to actually relax.
5) If you’re burnt out and/or depressed - seek help! 
Most universities have resources for mental health! Talk to a doctor! Don’t put too much stress and pressure on yourself! Almost half of grad students are mentally ill at some point!
6) Talk out your stories with friends! 
I know I already said this under “practice” but having a fandom friend to bounce ideas with and cheer you on is amazing and essentially. I was in constant contact with Bealeciphers when I started writing, and now I have a different friend who’s helped me the past couple years with writing and developing my stories. Mostly they cheer me on, and when I’m stuck, I tell them where the story is going and what I need help with. But honestly, writing doesn’t need to happen in a vacuum and doesn’t need to be you hunched over a laptop in the dark all alone and staring blankly at a screen (I’m definitely not projecting here, no siree). It’s amazing how motivating it is and how much it can help you stay on track to check in regularly with other writing friends!
7) Pick your battles.
You say you have a... couple(?) of WIPs? How many are you juggling? Is it too many? Do you need to set one (or two??) aside? When my steam was slowly and AATJS and Tumbling Together started to feel like a chore, I set TT aside and took a month break from AATJS then dived right back into AATJS (with the help of the friend mentioned above, cheering me on) because I knew it would be the harder one to finish, and the one that I feared I’d never finish if I put it aside too long. I tackled the biggest hurdle first. If that’s the type of thing for you, I recommend it. Pick the story that’s either the most or least likely to get finished, and focus your energy there.
Another battle-picking thing here? It’s okay to outsource. I’m terrible for not using a proofreader beta. It’s a weird control thing, despite the fact that I love people pointing out typos in my works so I can freaking fix them. The point here is: don’t be like me. If you suck at finding your own typos, use a beta or proofreader. My writer friend who helps me helps when I get stuck. I help them when they need feedback on specific scenes and tones, and I’ve recently discovered they hate editing (I love editing) so this entertains me to no end. Just - you don’t have to do it all yourself. If you feel like you do, see points 5 and 6 again.
Aaaannnddd that’s that. Whew. I just spent... wow, too long on this. I spent as much time on this as I did on my own grad student’s lit review I was providing feedback on today ^^; #whoops 
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Search Engine Optimization Techniques - The Fact Regarding Search Engine Optimization
The Significance of Being Online
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OK so here's your first captain hook ... there are 2 kinds of Search Engine Optimization! What? That understood? Well I did as well as currently so do you.
There is "ON PAGE" Search Engine Optimization as well as "OFF PAGE" Search Engine Optimization.
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1. KEYWORDS: Prior to the Search Engine Optimization (or the process of properly placing the right internet search engine pleasant elements on your site) Optimization really begins with recognizing the search terms individuals are using to seek services and products in the first place. These search terms are generally referred to as "Key phrases". Appropriate Keyword research is where many people (also seasoned online marketers) stop working prior to they even start. Fortunately there are a lot of complimentary as well as paid devices you can be making use of quickly to pick the most effective terms to maximize your website with.
2. PLACEMENT: After you have actually extensively done your keyword research study, it is time to tactically put them in all the aspects * of your site (Header, Title, Summary, Meta Labels, Navigating Links, Images, H1, H2, H3 tags, Alt Identifies, Body and so on) to successfully have Google and the others to index or take account of all of them to be able to rank your website's relevance for those key words.
* WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get)- An interface that provides the customer with the capacity to factor as well as click to place things, photos & text right into many websites today.
So with Key words Study and also proper Placement in your website are the broad strokes of On-Page Search Engine Optimization. However, "How" to do the right and lucrative Keyword Research study for your particular niche and "Exactly how" to place them appropriately in all the components of your websites is where you make your red stripes.
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