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crimsonrose418 · 3 months ago

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Chapter 1-1/27/2030

Damian priest: archer of lust (tw: sexual content) chapters 1-23 (chapters 24-39 will be included in a separate post

I was at LAX waiting to board a flight to France, when a man in a black hoodie walked towards me. He sat down next to me and said, "where are you headed?" I said, "I'm going to Paris." He sat there for a minute without saying anything. Then he said,"Really? me too!" "What's your seat number?" I pull out my ticket and show him. We board the plane without saying anything to each other, until we find out that we're sitting right next to each other. He already knows my name because I showed him my ticket. So I decided to ask him, "What's your name?" He responds, "Damian." We sit and talk for hours, until eventually I fall asleep.

Chapter 2-1/28/2030

A few hours later, Damian gently touches my shoulder and says "Wake up beautiful, we're here." We get off the plane and exchange numbers. I pick up my baggage and take a taxi to my hotel so I can shower and unpack. Fifteen minutes after I get finished unpacking, I get a text from Damian that says, "Meet me downtown, I want to buy you a necklace and a dress so we can go out to dinner together". I pick out a beautiful black dress, and after I change, we go out to dinner at a local bistro. He orders us some champagne. We eat and talk about our lives. After dinner, we take in some of the sites around the city. And then he says "Do you want to come back to my hotel room with me?" I tell him that I'm not quite comfortable with that idea yet, but maybe tomorrow. He has the taxi drop me off at my hotel. I go to my hotel room and fall asleep.

Chapter 3-1/29/2030

When I wake up the next day, I have a text from Damian:"Hey I have an errand to run. I'll pick you up at six for dinner." I explore the city as I wait for Damian. Damian picks me up at six, as promised. He takes me to a nice bistro. I gave my order to the waiter, and then turned around to see that Damian wasn't in his chair. I look down, and Damian is down on one knee, proposing! He said, "Aleks, I love you more than words can describe. Will you marry me?" I wanted to say no, but I realized that I felt the same way. "Yes!" I said, excited. He slips the gorgeous ring on my finger. After that, we left the restaurant and headed to his hotel room to have sex. We start out slowly, passionately kissing while we undress each other. After I was undressed, Damian carried me to bed, got on top of me and started caressing my entire body, making sure I was fully aroused and prepared for him to penetrate me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Damian, this feels so amazing" I said. "I love you babe." he said. I eventually climaxed, and fell back on to the bed, and went to bed cradled in Damian's arms.

Chapter 4-1/30/2030

I reach for Damian, but he's not next to me. I see a note on the bedside table that said: "Hey beautiful I went to go get us breakfast and find a gift for you, xoxo, love Damian. I didn't feel very good, so I went to the local pharmacy to get some medicine. It didn't work, so I got a pregnancy test. I took it, and it came back positive. I text Damian: "I'm pregnant!" He responded with: " I'll be the best father ever!" Damian came back and celebrated with me. We called family and friends to tell them the exciting news. We were so happy.

Chapter 5-2/2030-8/2030

After we announced my pregnancy, Damian and I decided to stay in Paris indefinitely. We found a two bedroom apartment for rent and had our belongings shipped from overseas. We also got health insurance and found a good OBGYN for me. We found out that we were having triplets!!! We immediately ordered three cribs and a triple stroller. Six months later we had a gender reveal party. We found out that we were having 3 girls!! Damian said " I'm so excited to meet our girls!!" We decided on their names: Grace, Destiny and Serenity. After we found out the gender of our babies, we started planning our wedding.

Chapter 6-8/2030-10/2030

Damian and I planned our wedding meticulously. We chose Halloween as our date. One day we were looking at cakes, when Damian suddenly said, "Honey, maternity wedding dresses are very hard to find, so I got you a custom one." He shows me the dress. It was black with lace and white beads. "Oh babe, it is absolutely gorgeous, you didn't have to do that." I said. I showed him the cake I wanted. "That looks delicious, go ahead and order it." he said. I lean over and kiss him. He suggested Puerto Rico for our honeymoon and I agreed. I sent out the invitations and he picked out a suit and the wedding planning was complete.

Chapter 7-10/31/2030

Our wedding was amazing! I walked down the aisle to Taylor Swift. I looked up at Damian, only to see him in tears. "You look absolutely stunning!" he said once I made it down the aisle. Eventually the priest said that we could say our vows. Damian went first. He said, "Aleks, I meant what I said the night I proposed,I love you more than words can describe. I'm proud to be able to call you my wife." I said, "Damian, I knew you were the man I needed from day one, and I am honored to be able to call you my husband." We exchanged rings and shared the most passionate kiss ever. We took wedding photos with our family and friends.

Chapter 8-11/1-2030

The next day, sadness followed. We found out that our girls were stillborn. I just wanted to cry. Damian was so supportive. " I love you, no matter what happens. Maybe having children just isn't in the cards for us." We were absolutely heartbroken. We decided to donate the cribs and the stroller. We also told our family, who immediately were supportive. They brought over food and gifts for us. My OBGYN called and offered her condolences. She said that the girls being multiples, being two days past their due date and the stress of the wedding caused the stillbirth. To take my mind off of it, I went to work. Damian and I powered through the grief and planned our honeymoon.

Chapter 9-11/2-11/8/2030

The honeymoon took about a week to plan. We decided to go to Puerto Rico in February, to give us time to grieve the loss of our girls and spend time together. We picked out our hotel and sights to see. We were so excited to plan our honeymoon. "I love you, honey and I hope this helps bring us closer together." Damian said,on the last night that we planned our honeymoon."It will,babe. I'm sorry if I seem distant, it's just…" I trail off. At that point, I started crying. Damian saw this and took me to the bedroom. I eventually stopped crying and then he took my clothes off and started caressing me. We had sex multiple times that night, each time being slower and more passionate than the last. " Damian, you are the most amazing man in the world." I said. He responded: " You are the most beautiful woman in the world and I love you to death." He kissed me so passionately, I moaned and climaxed. He kept kissing me, until I fell back on to the bed and fell asleep, cradled in his arms.

Chapter 10-2/4/2031

Damian and I went on our honeymoon in a private jet . We got into Puerto Rico late at night, so we just headed to our hotel. Damian held me and he told me something I wasn't expecting: "I have a surprise for you. When I found out that the girls were stillborn, I went to go get their names engraved on a necklace for you. I think now is the right time to give it to you." He opens up a velvet box. I look inside. It's a gold necklace engraved with the names of our baby girls. I see it and immediately start crying. "Babe, this is so sweet of you,thanks ." After he gives me the necklace, he passionately kisses me and undresses me. He carries me to the bed and we have sex. He was slow, gentle and passionate. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I moan and he smiles. For the first time in a while, I felt free of all emotions. I felt lighter than a feather. " Damian, I feel amazing right now, keep going." I said."I will" he said. He penetrates me, and my moaning becomes louder, and I climax. Damian keeps going. I screamed, but it was a scream of passion. I returned the passion when I got on top of Damian. I kissed him passionately and sucked on his dick. We kissed and switched positions. He penetrates me again and I moan loudly. He falls asleep in my arms.

Chapter 11-2/5/2031

The next day, all we did was make love. I started by caressing Damian's hair. I sucked his dick and aroused him. He got on top of me, and penetrated me. I closed my eyes and moaned. He smiles. He keeps saying, "sex with you is a dream." I moan loudly and he keeps going, getting more and more passionate with every touch. He sticks his dick in deeper, and I climax. I moan louder. I caress his chest, and he caresses mine. I moan even louder, and I get on top of him and grab his hair and suck his dick. He moans and tells me to keep going, so I do. He gets on top of me, and licks my vagina. I moan and climax. He penetrates again, which elicits a cry of passion from me. He kisses me and I moan again. He flips me over and runs his hands down my back. He flips me over again and runs his hands down my chest. I moan again. He penetrates again, and my moaning becomes louder. I bite my lip and moan again as he caresses my entire body. Later we use bondage. He ties me up and penetrates me again and I climax. He keeps going. I climaxed 2 more times and we switched positions. I bite his dick, he moans so loudly. I keep going. He flips me over and penetrates me anally. I screamed. He goes deeper and I moan loudly. We eventually fall asleep in each other's arms.

Chapter 12-2/6/2031

Damian shows me around the city. It was beautiful. We had lunch at the beach, and bought some souvenirs from local vendors. I bought a vase and some jewelry. We have dinner at a famous sandwich shop. It was delicious. Then we go to a movie. After the movie, we went back to the hotel and made love. I sucked his dick and aroused him. He got on top of me, and penetrated me. I closed my eyes and moaned. He goes deeper and I moan loudly. I get on top of him and bite his dick.He moans and tells me to keep going, so I do. He gets on top of me, and licks my vagina. He penetrates me again. I climax and moan. He touches my chest and I moan loudly. I feel an overwhelming sense of euphoria as Damian caresses my vagina. I fall asleep as Damian keeps caressing me.

Chapter 13-2/7/2031

Damian had a surprise for me when I got up the next morning: " I brought you some breakfast." he said. " I also went to one of the local orphanages yesterday and adopted a baby girl for us!!! I'm so excited for you to meet her." Damian takes me to the orphanage, where I met our new baby girl. " Her name is Sophia." he said. " Oh Damian, she's perfect!" I said. We took her back to the hotel with us where we held her for hours. She had beautiful brown eyes and the tiniest little fingers. "She's an absolute angel." I said. "I know, and she's all ours." Damian said. We put her to bed and made love again.

Chapter 14-2/8/2031.

When I got up, Damian was already awake. " Hey beautiful lady, we gotta leave soon." I'll get the baby ready while you get ready." We left soon after.

Chapter 15-2/8/2031-late afternoon

Once we got back on the private jet, I put the baby to bed. Damian puts on a movie for us. Thirty minutes later, he pauses the movie. " Hold on honey, I've got to take this." It was a phone call. I can't hear anything he's saying. Forty-five minutes later, he comes back. " There's been a change in our plans." He said. " Triple H called. The judgement day has a match tomorrow, and Finn's been injured. I have to replace him. We're heading to Dallas." We finished the movie and fell asleep.

Chapter 16-2/9/2031.

We arrived in Dallas at 7:00. I woke Sophia up to feed her. Damian and I rented a car to go to our hotel. Damian took a shower and changed into his ring gear. We had lunch and then headed to the stadium. The judgement day had the first match of the night. They faced the Miz, big Bronson Reed and Sami Zayn. Damian secures the win. After he wins, he asks Rhea to hand him a microphone. He pulls me into the ring. " As most of you know, I've been on a hiatus for a while now. During the hiatus, I met the love of my life. I'd like to introduce the WWE universe to my beautiful wife and judgement day's new manager, Aleksandria Priest!!" The crowd cheers. We head backstage, and I start hearing, "Hey Damian, congratulations on the wedding!!" We meet up with the other members of the judgement day. Rhea shakes my hand and gives me a hug. " Congratulations on the wedding and welcome to the judgement day." Finn hugs me and says, "We didn't even know Damian got married. Congratulations. You're a lucky woman. Welcome to the judgement day". JD and Dominic follow with similar sentiments. Damian and I go back to the hotel. I go to the bathroom to shower. When I get out, there are rose petals leading to the bed. Damian hands me a gift bag. It is black. I look inside. It's black and purple lingerie. "Put it on. I wanna see how sexy you look." After I put it on, Damian carries me to the bed and pulls his shirt off and starts caressing my entire body. "You look so sexy right now." He said. He penetrates me and I moan loudly. "I'm in control tonight" he says. He goes deeper and I climax. He ties me to the bed and licks my vagina. I cry out passionately. He kisses me repeatedly and I moan loudly. He penetrates me again and I climax again. He cradles me in his arms and goes deeper. He keeps going. I eventually fell asleep.

Chapter 17-2/30/2031

I'd been feeling funny for three weeks. I knew that I was pregnant. I took a test and sure enough,it was positive. We had to travel to Lexington Kentucky for a live event. Damian had a match. During the match, I held up a sign that said "Damian, I'm pregnant!" Damian didn't notice at first, but Rhea did. After his match, Rhea said, "Damian, look!" He looks at the sign. He immediately dropped everything to hug me. On our way backstage, he says "I can't believe it! Are you sure?" "100 percent," I said. "You're high risk, so we have to make sure that you go to all of your appointments." He said. Once I was backstage, Rhea hugged me. "Congratulations. Damian has already told me that you're a great mom to little Sophia." We went back to Paris by private jet that night.

Chapter 18-3/1-9/6/2031

I went to all of my appointments, like Damian asked. I also went to all of his events. In August, we asked triple H about doing our gender reveal party on raw. He agreed. Damian and I released balloons in the arena in Charlotte. Rhea, Finn, JD and Dominic were also there. "We want the crowd to help us." I said. The crowd counted backwards from ten. When we released the balloons, we found out that we were having a girl…again. I was happy but I was also nervous. I remembered what happened last time with our triplets. I started crying. "What's wrong?" Damian asked. " I'm just nervous because I remembered what happened to our triplets." "It's gonna be ok, Aleks. I'll be there every step of the way."

Chapter 19-9/7/2031

The day starts out like normal. I feed, change and dress Sophia. I have lunch with Damian and we head to the stadium in Atlanta. That night though, tragedy strikes. Damian is facing Gunther. During the match, I get up onto the ring apron so I can see Damian better. Five minutes later, Damian sends Gunther flying across the ring. Gunther hits the ropes with such force, it knocks me off the apron and I land on a table. I immediately fall unconscious. I start seizing. Damian immediately rushes to my side. " Oh shit. Babe, I'm so sorry!" I hear Damian say, crying. A commentator calls for the medical staff. They rush out, ready to help. I hear one medic say, "Her pupils are not reactive to light at all. We've got to get her to the ambulance now!!!" Damian calls the judgement day for moral support. They come running out of the locker room. "Holy shit", Rhea says. " Is she ok?" I'm still unconscious as I'm being put into the ambulance. " I'm not going anywhere babe." I hear Damian say. "I'm right here."

Chapter 20-9/7/2031-late evening

We make it to the hospital at 10:00. "I'm still here, babe." I hear Damian say. The nurses immediately start vitals. " Her heart rate and blood pressure are through the roof!" I hear one nurse say. Another nurse checks my pupils. "Her pupils are still not reactive to light." I hear Damian mention that I'm pregnant, and the nurses immediately go into high alert. "We need an ultrasound and brain scan NOW!!!" They get the monitors and equipment. They notice a lot of swelling on my brain. The baby is ok, luckily. I wake up after those tests are done. "Mr. Priest, your wife is awake." the nurse said. Damian rushes in. " Is she ok?" Damian asked. " She needs emergency brain surgery." They put me under anesthesia and I fall back asleep.

Chapter 21-9/12/2031

I slept for 4.5 days. When I awoke, I immediately said "Damian?" "I'm right here, babe. Rhea, Finn, JD and Dominic will be here soon to see you." Damian said. He immediately gives me a hug and kiss. " I thought you were going to die!" He said. A few hours later, Rhea, JD, Finn and Dominic came to see me. They all hug me. "Girl, we thought you were dead!" Rhea said. They give me gifts. "The company made this shirt for you." JD said. The shirt was black and said, "Aleksandria Priest. All rise for the priestess!" "Thanks guys, I love it!" I said. They eventually have to go, and I fall asleep.

Chapter 22-9/13/2031

When I woke up, Damian was in the doorway. Five minutes later, he comes back into the room. "I updated Triple H on your status. He said your job is there when you are able to come back." " Tell him I said thank you. That is extremely generous of him." I said. I went back to sleep after breakfast. I wake up thirty minutes later, in severe pain. Damian sees that I'm in pain and is immediately by my side. " Honey, what's wrong?" He said. " I think I'm in labor!" I said. Damian runs to get a nurse. The nurse immediately puts me on a gurney and takes me to the OR. She tells Damian," Because of her recent surgery, she needs a C-section to avoid complications." Damian runs up next to the gurney and holds my hand. " I'm going to be by your side through all of this. " Damian said. When I get into the OR, the nurses immediately prep me for the C-section. Damian kisses me and says, "I love you." The nurses put me under anesthesia and I fell asleep.

Chapter 23-9/13/2031-late afternoon.

My anesthesia wears off just as our baby girl cries for the first time. I hear a snip as Damian cuts the umbilical cord. Five minutes later, she's in my arms. She's a perfect mix of me and Damian. " She's a little angel." I said. As soon as I said angel, Damian looked at me. " That should be her name. If it wasn't for her, you probably wouldn't be alive right now." "You're right." I said. Damian comes over to me and kisses me. After the birth certificate is signed, I'm taken back to my room, where I fall asleep.

#damian priest #smut #wwe

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rjjameshiii · 2 months ago

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RJ's Platinum Collection #15: Spirit of the North

Achieved on 11/23/2022 at 10:44 PM

This is a game I wasn't actually sure I was going to Platinum. It was available as a free game on PS Plus for a limited time, so I downloaded it and checked it out. And I did think the game was GORGEOUS, but I lost interest and put it away for awhile. However, I eventually decided I would complete the game and see what Spirit of the North had to offer.

I'm not entirely sure WHAT the plot of Spirit of the North is. You play as a red fox in a snowy landscape, in a world where there appears to have once been a society of Shamans that have all since been wiped out, and there are strange landmarks and ruins covered in dark glowing black sludge known as Plague. When the fox awakens a ghostly fox spirit and gets spiritual powers, you begin making your way through the world and cleansing it of the darkness.

Now when I first tried this game, I was going in blind, but lost interest after awakening the Spirit and getting my first trophy.

1/25: A Guardian Forgotten - Awaken the Spirit of the North.

So I didn't touch the game for several months. And when I did decide to play it again...I used a guide. I still didn't really have any interest in playing the game blind, so I used a YouTube guide to help me complete the game and get all of the trophies.

2/25: Foxin' Around - Stand still for 3 minutes.

3/25: Infused With Light - Become infused with Pure Ancient Energy.

4/25: Awaken - Awaken 5 Shaman spirits.

5/25: Spirit Bark - Unlock the Spirit Bark ability.

6/25: Eradicate - Destroy 3 Plague Tethers.

7/25: Blooms Of Light - Collect 25 Spirit Blooms.

8/25: Spirit Form - Unlock the Spirit Form ability.

9/25: Old Companion - Awaken 12 Shaman spirits.

10/25: Best Friends - Cause the Wisp Chirp 100 times.

11/25: Uprooting Darkness - Destroy 8 Plague Tethers.

12/25: Garden Of Light - Collect 50 Spirit Blooms.

13/25: Written In Stone - Infuse 30 Standing Stones.

14/25: Fetch - Carry a Shaman staff for 3 minutes.

15/25: Spirit Dash - Unlock the Spirit Dash ability.

16/25: Ancient History - Find and light all 8 types of carved Ancient Murals.

17/25: Weightless - While in Spirit Form step on a pressure plate, an unstable platform, and walk on water.

The next trophy I got I specifically looked up a YouTube video on how to do it, because the controls for when the fox was in the air (yeah the fox can fly, this game is interesting) were a little janky. But I managed to get it done after only about three tries.

18/25: Fox? Or Flying Squirrel? - Stay airborne for more than 8 seconds using jump-gates or geysers.

And then I continued on through the game, making sure to locate all the Shaman spirits in the game.

19/25: Match Maker - Match 12 sets of Revolving Matching Glyphs.

20/25: Plague Doctor - Destroy 18 Plague Tethers.

21/25: None Forgotten - Awaken all 28 Shaman spirits.

And the reason you want to make sure you awaken all the Shaman spirits is because once the fox enters the Spirit World, you need to find and greet all 28 spirits within the Spirit World. Even using a guide, this took me over an hour, so I can't imagine how annoying it would be to try to get this trophy naturally.

22/25: Kindred Spirits - Locate and greet all spirits in the Spirit World.

From this point on there wasn't a lot more to do, just finish the game and get the Platinum!

23/25: Spirited Away - Make it out of the Spirit World.

24/25: Northern Lights - Fill the night sky with Aurora Borealis.

25/25: Master Of Light - Complete all other trophies in Spirit of the North.

This is a very pretty game, however while playing it, I couldn't help but think about how there was absolutely no indication on how to solve any of the puzzles. Using a guide was extremely helpful in getting me through this game. This is my lowest rated Platinum yet, but unfortunately, I think Spirit of the North deserves it.

Rating: 6/10

#playstation #playstation trophies #platinum trophy #trophy hunting #ps5 #ps4 #spirit of the north

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the-iceni-bitch · 3 years ago

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The Boyfriend Experience

Pairing: Ari Levinson x fem!Reader

Words: ~3.2k

Summary: Ari does you a solid.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (voyeurism (prompt 13), male masturbation, unprotected vaginal sex, dirty talk, cream pie, teasing, semi-clothed sex), asshole relatives, fake dating, alcohol consumption, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: Just under the wire, but made it with my official entry for @navybrat817’s and @stargazingfangirl18’s Shameless Hoes for Chris Challenge!! I love wheel challenges and this was no exception, especially when fake dating popped up, because you know that’s my jam. Happy August b-days to you two lovelies!! I hope your birthday month was amazing and you got all the treats you could want!!

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!!

You chewed on your lip as you stared at his front door, taking a deep breath before finally lifting your fist and rapping a few times.

“Hi, Y/N.” Oh fuck, you must have interrupted his workout. He was all sweaty and not wearing anything except for some very low slung gym shorts, making you swallow thickly as you tried to not ogle him. “What’s up?”

“Ari, hey. Is this a bad time? I can come back.” When he wasn’t standing there looking like a fucking Michelangelo sculpture.

“No, it’s fine. I was just cooling down.” He stepped aside and gestured for you to come in, grabbing a towel and running it over the back of his neck while you followed after him. “You need something, sweetheart?”

“I need a favor. Um, my family is throwing a big, super fancy charity thing- tomorrow actually- and I kinda need a date.” There, it was out.

“Really?” He grabbed some bottled water from the fridge and gave you a lazy grin. “You don’t seem like the type who needs a man by her side at social events.”

“I’m not.” You shrugged uncomfortably as you avoided making eye contact with him. “But my bitch cousin just got engaged, and as soon as everyone finishes fawning over her stupid ring, they’re gonna lay into me about not finding a man. I swear to god, if I have to hear one word about how ‘it’s ok, there’s still plenty of time for you to have kids’…”

“Ok, I get it.” He helped up a hand when you got a look like you were about to go on a tangent. “So, the long term boyfriend experience, then?”

“Yeah, if that’s ok.” You hunched in on yourself to try to avoid the awkwardness. “I promise I’ll make it up to you. I’ll bake you all the zucchini bread you could eat.”

“Well, how can I say no to that?” He leaned on the counter as he looked at you. “How fancy is this thing gonna be?”

“Black tie, you have a tux?” That could have gone so much worse.

“I do have a tux.” He stretched when he stood back up to his full height, and you almost choked on your tongue when his shorts sank lower on his hips until that gorgeous adonis belt was teasing you. “Don’t wanna kick you out, hon, but I gotta shower.”

“Hmm? Right!” He was too fucking distracting. “Uh, it’s at 7, my parents are sending a car around 6:30.”

“Ooh, fancy.” You let him usher towards the door with a low chuckle. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, great.” You gave him an awkward wave before he was closing the door behind you. You were gonna have to do something to distract yourself for the next 24 hours, thinking about him in a tux was doing something to you.

You managed to keep from combusting while you anticipated your fake date, most of the afternoon spent perfecting your hair and makeup before finally sliding into your slinky velvet gown. Just a couple finishing touches and then you were slipping on your sparkly heels and strutting over to Ari’s at 6:15, nervously fidgeting with your sleeves as you waited for him to come to the door.

Of course he looked incredible in his tux, the fabric tailored perfectly to his broad shoulders and narrow hips and this may not have been the good idea you thought it was.

“Wow, you look fantastic.” He gave a low whistle when he got a good look at you. “Car here already?”

“Not yet. The driver will call me once he’s here.”

“Should we pregame it?” It moved to his fridge and grabbed some beers.

“Yes.” You grinned when you took the bottle from him, popping the top off and gulping it down eagerly. “So, you might want to prepare yourself for the inevitable questions.”

“I think I know how to handle family interrogations, darling.” He winked at you before bringing his own bottle to his lips.

“Even rich, overbearing family interrogations?”

“Oh, especially those.” He nodded at you when your phone vibrated against the counter. “That our ride?”

“Yeah.” You chugged the rest of your beer before picking up, swallowing the embarrassing belch that almost bubbled out of you from drinking too fast. “Hello? Ok we’ll be down in a bit. Alright, let’s do this.”

The two of you made your way down to the town car your parents had sent, Ari holding the back door open and letting you slide in first before sitting next to you. He could pick up on your nervous energy, letting you lean back in the seat and drum your fingers on his thigh anxiously.

“You sure you’d don’t wanna just go back to my place and order some burritos?” He squeezed your hand when the driver hopped out to open the door for you once you arrived, cocking his eyebrow at you and giving a sweet smile when you snorted at him.

“As tempting as that sounds, I’ll have to see my asshole relatives at some point.” You were so distracted by how much you were dreading seeing all these bitches you barely registered him keeping your hand in his and pulling you towards the hotel ballroom. “Better here where there’s witnesses than at someone’s estate where there’s too many places to hide a body.”

“Oh, it’s like that then?” He steered you towards the bar and you gave him a grateful chortle. “Let’s get you liquored up then.”

You accepted the vodka tonic he handed you with a grin, one that quickly disappeared when one of your fake ass cousins sauntered up to you and started openly trying to eye fuck Ari.

“Hey, Y/N, didn’t think we were going to see you tonight.” She was not looking at you at all.

“Hi Nicolette.” Still not looking at you, but now she was pushing her tits together while she leaned over the bar and grinned at your fake date. “You know the Climate Emergency Fund is close to my heart. How’s your husband?”

The look she shot you was pure poison, but you could not bring yourself to give a fuck, especially when you got a look at Ari biting his lip to hold back laughter.

“Tristan is fine, still working those long hours at the brokerage firm. But we just bought a new boat, so who can complain.” A wicked grin spread over her face when she finally turned towards you. “So, who’s this? Another last minute Tinder match?”

“This is my boyfriend, Ari.” Your lips spread in a snarl you hoped could pass as a smile, softening just a bit when Ari wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you close.

“Your boyfriend?” She didn’t look like she believed you. “How’d you two meet, then?”

“Oh y’know, the normal way.” He nuzzled into your hair and you let out a deep sigh, apparently soft PDA did a lot to calm you down. “She drank me and a bunch of sailors under the table at nickel shots night at that dockside bar… what’s it called again, babe?”

“The Beacon.” You were snorting into your drink at his unexpected answer.

“What?” Nicki looked confused at the turn the conversation was taking, frowning at you two as you turned to bury your face in Ari’s chest to hide your giggles.

“Yeah, then I tasted her and that was it.” You choked on your drink when you let out a huge snort, the vodka burning your throat and nasal passages as you struggled to compose yourself. “Never thought I’d be a kept man, but how could I do anything else with my time except keep this fine piece of ass satisfied?”

“God, classy, Y/N.” She rolled her eyes and walked away from you, shaking her head and muttering under her breath about low class antics.

“Sorry, was that ok?” Ari ran his fingers through his combed back hair and sighed when you nodded. “Just rubbed me the wrong way. Are all your cousins that bitchy?”

“Yep. Cousins, aunts, parents.” You took another sip of your drink before turning towards the crowd of rich douchebags you were related to, or who knew the douchebags you were related to. “Gonna be a fun night.”

It was a fun night. You could not have been happier with your decision to bring Ari with you. He answered each of the invasive questions your insanely intrusive family lobbed at him with ridiculous answers that had you in an almost constant state of snorting laughter, especially when your aunt asked him when you two were going to start having kids, and he told her it would happen as soon as you could find a billionaire who was ok being cuckolded.

He did manage to clean it up a little once your parents zeroed in on you, giving thoughtful but firm answers that managed to redirect them from their mission to get you knocked up without them even realizing what was happening. You didn’t even have to drink as much as you normally would to get through the evening, not even concerned about throwing up in the limo when you stood next to Ari and waited for it to pull up.

“That was the best fake date I’ve ever been on.” You grinned at him when slid next to you in the back seat, slapping his chest playfully before leaning against his shoulder with a sigh. “Almost makes me want to fake put out.”

“Aww, don’t tease me.” He started stroking your arm absentmindedly, leaning back in the seat and relaxing now that he didn’t have to be on for your family. “‘Cause I wasn’t kidding, pretty sure if I tasted you, that would be it.”

“Now who’s teasing?” You laughed when he gave you a shit eating grin, hating him a little for dancing that possibility in front of you just to win the banter. “You’re my official plus one now, Levinson.”

“Great, I have no problem drinking fancy alcohol on your rich family’s dime.” He tweaked your nose when you slapped his arm again, the two of you settling in to spend the rest of the ride in comfortable silence.

Ari helped you out of the car and into your building, letting you lean heavily on his arm while you waited for the elevator. You chatted idly about your plans for the rest of the weekend, your only real goal to find some good takeout and binge watch something stupid.

He gave you a soft smile when you said goodnight, giving your upper arm a squeeze before disconnecting so you could both go to your separate apartments. You unpinned your hair and shook it out, rolling your neck and pulling off your heavy jewelry as you prepared to turn in. Right before you were about to slip out of your dress and heels so you could wash up, you remembered you still had Ari’s phone in your purse, cursing as you jogged across the hall to return it to him.

You weren’t even thinking about it when you pulled on the handle, the door opening with no resistance and then you were striding inside.

The sight of him spread out on his couch froze you in your tracks. Not because he looked sexy as all fuck with his tie undone and the top few buttons of his shirt open. Because his pants were unbutton and he was squeezing his unbelievably magnificent cock in slow strokes while he let out a heady moan.

“Hey there, Ari.” You leaned against the wall and gave him a wicked smirk when his eyes dragged open and met yours. “What’cha doin’?”

“What’s it look like?” He groaned when he ran his thumb over his swollen tip, bucking his hips up into his grip and dropping his other hand between his legs to tug on his balls. “Having you on my arm all fucking night while you look and smell like fucking sex was too much, sweetheart. Ungh, fuck. Thinking about what you’re wearing under that dress could break any man.”

“Oh, did you want to see what was under here?” You tossed your clutch aside and teased your fingers over your sides until you were cupping your breasts.

“Goddamn it.” He growled and leaned forward to get a better look at you when you slid a finger under your neckline like you were going to slip it off, spitting on his cock and smearing it over his length as his strokes sped up. “Quit fucking teasing, Y/N.”

“You realize you could’ve told me you wanted an actual date, Ari.” You tugged at the bow that was tied over the back of your shoulders, releasing it and letting your dress slither down your body until it was pooled at your feet. “Then you wouldn’t have had to settle for your right hand.”

“Fuck me.” The sight of you standing there in nothing but your heels and that tiny lace thong had him freezing his movements. “Baby… get over here.”

“Mmm… think you need to ask me something first.” You tugged at the sides of your thong teasingly and bit your lip when he snarled at you. “C’mon Ari, don’t you wanna date me?”

“God, go to dinner with me, honey?” He whined when you slid out of your panties and kicked them aside, slinking towards him with a very tempting sway to your hips that had him practically drooling. “Or just stay home with me and I’ll eat my fill of this pretty pussy.”

“What, this pussy?” You grabbed the wrist of the hand that was squeezing his balls and brought it up to run his fingers through your slick coated folds, grinning at the broken moan he let out.

“Yeah, that one.” He slid his fingers inside you when you straddled his lap, scissoring them to stretch you open and grinning when you dropped your head back on your shoulders with a soft cry.

Ari leaned forward once you were situated and kissed along the curve of your breast, his eyes fixed on your face and the way it was going slack with pleasure as he stroked your soft walls with his fingers until you were clenching around him. His fist was still moving over his length in slow, smooth strokes, teasing his tip against your clit and trying his best not to just smack his cock against your swollen pussy until you were begging him.

You purred when he wrapped his lips around your nipple, your fingers winding through his hair to hold him in place as the sensation echoed in your core. Your hips started grinding down into his fingers, begging him to give you more with a series of broken mewls and keens when he slipped a third finger inside you and curled all of them against your sweet spot.

“Oh god, Ari.” Your body arched into him when he did it again, your cunt starting to flutter around him when he pulled gently on your nipple with his plush lips and hummed, sending a shiver through your whole body. “Please, need it.”

“What d’you need, honey?” He released your nipple with a wet pop and kissed his way across your chest until he could drag his tongue over the other. “Was it this?”

He slapped the tip of his cock against your swollen clit and you came with a choked cry, curling your body over him until you could bury your face in his hair while you sobbed with pleasure. You whined piteously when he pulled his fingers out of you, but then his tip caught at your entrance and he was pulling you down on his prodigious length until all the air flew out of your lungs in a rush when your hips met his.

There were a few seconds of stillness once he was fully seated in you, the two of you taking a beat to catch your breath as you fluttered and stretched while you adjusted to him. Then his hips were snapping up into you and you were tossing your head back with a wanton cry, pulling on his locks desperately as he fucked into you with abandon while his hands trailed up your sides.

“Oh fuck, Ari. Shit!” You had to move a hand from his hair to brace yourself against the back of the couch, rolling your body to meet his thrusts and choking on your tongue at how good he was giving it to you. “So big, ‘so fucking deep. Fuck me.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, I’m gonna.” He smeared his cum soaked fingers over the curve of your chest and bent forward to lick it off, practically whining once he actually got a taste of you. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

If you thought he was fucking you hard before, it was nothing compared to what he did once he had tasted you. You had to clench your teeth to keep them from cracking together when he started driving into you viciously, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding on for dear life as he rutted into you like a man possessed. He was growling into your chest as he did his best to draw another one out of you, his balls slapping against your ass wildly and sending shockwaves of pleasure through your system until you were breathless.

You could feel his fingers drawing bruises on your waist as he gripped you hard, pulling you down on his cock with each thrust and punching the air from your body while his tip kissed your cervix over and over until you were seeing stars. He changed his angle just slightly and ground against your clit and that was it, your body shook with the force of your pleasure as you screamed into his hair, your pussy clenching around him in waves as your muscles seized and released frantically to try to milk him for all he was worth.

The feel of your body contracting around him had him following right behind you, roaring into your neck as his hips stuttered and he shot his thick spend into you until the warm mix of your releases was seeping out around his cock and staining the front of his slacks. You both sagged into the couch once you were finished, struggling to regulate your breathing and running your hands over each other as if you were making sure everything that just happened was real.

“No more fucking teasing, Y/N.” He pulled your head back so you were resting your forehead against his, panting into your open mouth and gazing into your eyes with lust blown pupils. “You wanted the boyfriend experience, well, you’ve fucking got it now.”

#natalie writes #shamelesshoesforchris2021 #writing challenge #ari levinson #ari levinson one shot #ari levinson smut #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x female reader #ari levinson x y/n #ari levinson x you #chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans character

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timextoxhajima · 3 years ago

Note

hi dana.. if it’s possible can i request some angsty wangsty based on niki la la lost you with eric🥺 and ughh i really love your writing like crazyyyyy

♥ title: la la lost you in april [also part of @sunlightwoo ‘s 12 Months I Loved You collaboration project]

♥ member: tbz eric

♥ genre: f2l, ex! eric x fem! reader, model! eric [SFW!]

♥ warnings: swearing, some mentions of sex [like, once i think]

♥ wc: 3.4k

♥ a/n: sis when i first heard the song I absolutely loved how you used 'angsty wangsty' so I hope this one does it for you the way you imagined it <3 [fyi i wrote it in like, a camcorder recording audio format which is something i’m trying out so please hmu on whether it’s difficult to read/understand!]

[REC: APRIL 2, 2019 - 6:39PM] SOLO LOG #1

Are you seeing this? This is the most beautiful sunset I’ve seen. I gotta get a shot of this-

Hey! Hey! I could help you take a picture with the sunset if you want to!

Oh! Would- Would you? That’d be great!

Of course!

...

Here. Is it alright?

Yeah, yeah, it’s cool! Thank you so much!

Are you recording something? Is it a- Are you vlogging? Are you a vlogger?

Yeah, no... I’m actually on a solo trip for a bit.

Oh, where are you from?

Just the next state.

Ah! You’re taking a break off... life then? I assume? Sorry if that came out weird.

No! No no! It’s alright! Yeah, I just needed a short break from... y’know, school and everything. My semester ended pretty early on so I took the chance to come out here and... see some new sights, meet some new people.

I get that. Well, for a start, what’s your name?

Oh, I’m y/n. Nice to meet you! And you?

I’m Eric.

[REC: APRIL 4, 2019 - 10:34PM] SOLO LOG #2

It is the 4th of April, 2019. I know, I know, I’m meant to do a daily vlog for all the 50 days I’m here but... it’s been... wow. Um... so I met Eric, the first day I touched down. The beach is just, about a 10 minute walk down and the sunsets are absolutely gorgeous. But uh... call me a fool and say that I’m living in the clouds but- what are the chances?

He’s funny, he’s such a great person to be around with y’know? Never a moment of like, awkwardness or stress and my God, look at me talking about a boy like that, though I met him 2 days ago.

...

Um, he’s a freelance model. For those freelance shoots by UNIQLO or Target or something and he complains about the pay sometimes, but he looks good infront of a camera, so he’s... actually the one who won at life, really.

I’m not seeing him soon because he’s got a shoot out of town and he’ll be back next week. But I did get his number and he’s been texting me since.

...

Wouldn’t it be funny if we end up together and then I have this whackass of a reel to show him? Jesus... I need to stop getting ahead of myself here. Freakin’ living in the clouds, aren’t I?

...

Anyway, I’m gonna go and see if I can get my weird projector shit up and working. See you.

[REC: APRIL 7, 2019 - 5:14AM] SOLO LOG #3

It is... 5am... uh, April 7th- and I was just binging FRIENDS through the night, waiting for the sunrise before I get some shut eye and then... Eric just asked me out. Oh my God! Um, he’s coming back this Thursday and I’ll go see him at the airport before we go get dinner.

It was really funny ‘cause he had to wake up early for a shoot today and so his day has just begun but mine’s coming to an end and I just- I’m rambling so much, it’s kinda- it’s kinda sad, isn’t it?

I think I’m too happy to sleep right now so I’m just gonna text him some more before the sun rises- oh! He replied!

...

Anyway, I’m gonna go and finish up this last episode before sleeping. Hopeful I can sleep. Bye!

[REC: APRIL 11, 2019 - 4:28PM] SOLO LOG #4

I am on my way out right now to go meet Eric at the airport, and I’m... it’d be an understatement to say that I’m excited. I know I’ve only known him for like, 2 days before he left but... I miss him. Is that possible? Missing someone despite knowing them for 2 days?

Anyway, I gotta go. Don’t wanna be late to see him.

[REC: APRIL 13, 2019 - 10:23AM] SOLO LOG #5

Oh! Is that what you had-

Yeah! It’s the same camera!

What are you vlogging for, actually? Like-

Nothing, really. It’s just for my own usage-

Wait, you didn’t like set that up last night while we-

Oh, God, no! Who do you think I am?

I don’t know, I mean, we’ve known each other for... is it two weeks-

Just under two weeks-

Jeez-

I know, I know, oh my God.

...

I don’t regret it though. Yeah, like- I don’t really go down to the beach that often in the first place and it just- it just so happened that you were there that day and I saw you struggling with this old thing-

I was not struggling!

Yeah you were!

I wasn’t-

I’m kidding! Gosh, you’re so cute.

...

Are you gonna have the camera recording while this carries on?

I forgot it was on-

One day we’re gonna accidentally make a sex tape-

Eric!

[REC: APRIL 17, 2019 - 1:15AM] SOLO LOG #6

-ould you pass me the hot water?

Mm? What?

The kettle over on the counter. Careful, it’s hot. Yeah, thanks.

Do you need help with-

It’s just instant noodles, sweet. Doubt I need a diploma for this. You’re recording again?

Yeah, does it bother you?

No, no, ‘course not. Though that means I can’t really do whatever I want to now.

What does that mea-

...

I can... still taste that bit of milk tea you had just now-

Could you tell it’s zero sugar?

I don’t think that matters, it’s still sweet and not great for your health to have that so much.

Aw, and yet you’re the one who suggested noodles at this timing, yeah?

You were hungry too!

...

Here, it’s done. Help me get the bowls?

Did you even wash these?

Yeah, I did. If you don’t trust me, you can run them under the water for a bit.

Mhm. Here.

If it’s not enough, we can call for Macs.

Y’know, I’ve never had Macs past midnight back at home.

What? Really? Well, when you get back in May, would you try?

Yeah, why not? Maybe I’ll do that when I’m back in school.

...

What date is it today?

April... hold on, um, 17. Careful, that’s hot.

...

When are you leaving again?

May 22.

Are you planning on coming back anytime soon after?

I don’t know. I have school to worry about and the only other time I can come back’s probably during winter break in November.

...

I won’t be around in November.

Mm? Why not?

I’m moving.

To where?

I’m not sure yet, but I need to move depending on whether I get it and where the shoot’s at.

Shoot? It’s a big project, huh?

Yeah, it’s- it’s a pretty big deal.

...

I’ll- Let me just go and...

[REC: APRIL 20, 2019 - 7:49PM] SOLO LOG #7

-idn’t have to!

No, c’mon! It’s such a great time to get this on camera! Come on, tell us what just happened!

Well, I just scored a huge model contract with Calvin Klein - in Manhattan.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I’m so fucking proud of you, oh my God! Can you believe it-

No, fuck off, I can’t either!

Oh! Calvin Klein!

...

I swear, you’re an angel sent to me-

Fuck off!

I’m serious! it’s so timely- I just can’t- I’m just so happy to have met you.

...

Well, you heard it first here, ladies and gentlemen. Eric Sohn is a new model for Calvin Klein - Manhattan.

[REC: APRIL 21, 2019 - 12:40PM] SOLO LOG #8

It is 12.40pm... April 21st, 2019. I’m finally back in my apartment after crashing at Eric’s for the last... 10 days? I think it was 10 days. My clothes were running out and I didn’t want to hike up his water bills so I just came back and- y’know did my own laundry.

...

Well, it’s- it’s been an absolute dream. The last thing I expected to... have, or meet? Here, is Eric. Um, but I know I’m probably going to regret this. Especially when May 22 comes. Uh... this is... it’s real bad. I mean, we’re great, y’know? But... it’s bad, because I know it’ll hurt. Like a bitch. When my time here is up, and I gotta go back to my reality, and Eric’s gotta stick to his.

We haven’t really talked about it. May. I don’t think he wants to, and I don’t think I want to either. 50 days is too short. Either that, or I shouldn’t have come here in the first place. I shouldn’t have gone to the beach that day, in that hour.

...

I just wish we had more time. I wish 24 hours were... maybe about 100 seconds more per minute. Does that make sense? 160 seconds per minute. Then again, I don’t think that’d solve my problem. I’ll still be on a ticking... time bomb.

...

I know I shouldn’t say this. I know I can’t. I know I can’t afford to. But... I... I love him. I love Eric. With every... bit of me. It’s so... disgustingly cliché, but I feel so... comfortable with him. There’s really nothing we’d fight about, and even if we disagreed on something, we’d play it off like a debate, then forget about it the next day.

...

I love him. I do. And I’m going to regret this later. Without a doubt.

...

[REC: APRIL 27, 2019 - 2:02AM] SOLO LOG #9

-ou can see the stars?

I don’t know, that’s why I’m trying, sweet.

...

Can you see them?

Yeah, maybe if I just turn this ISO- Oh! I can kinda see the North Star-

Oh! Yeah, you can! It’s really feint though.

Right.

It’s okay, we can just lay it down here-

On the grass? Will your camera be fine?

Yeah, yeah, or else you can just put in on top of my bag- here.

...

Here, can you see me? Am I in frame?

Yeah, you’re in frame.

Okay, great. Now get over here!

...

I can taste the smoothie you had just now.

Too sweet?

A little.

...

Oh my God! Put me down! Oh- not there! It’s ticklish- AHHHHH!

...

y/n, I have something to tell you.

Mm? What is it?

...

Hello? Earth to Eric?

I... I love you. So much... and I can’t bear to see you go in May.

Oh, Eric...

No, I- I don’t want you to stay- or even think about it, ‘cause, you have your priorities and I have mine y’know...

Mhm.

I just... I just wished we had more time.

I do too. I really do.

...

Eric?

Hm?

I love you too.

...

[REC: MAY 1, 2019 - 4:23AM] SOLO LOG #10

1st May. 4...30? Am? I believe. Um, Eric’s sound asleep in his bed and I couldn’t sleep so I decided to do a log.

...

I have... 3 weeks left. 4 weeks have gone past just like that, and I don’t know what to think about it. I came for a 50-day retreat. No stress, just myself and peace and quiet and tranquility and yet-

...

I- I don’t know if I can do this.

...

[REC: MAY 7, 2019 - 3:58PM] SOLO LOG #11

So, Eric’s in shoot right now and I’m on the way into the studio with some donuts and coffee to surprise him. I called his manager and asked if it was okay so- I’m pretty psyched to see his workspace.

...

Hi, I’m y/n, I’m here to visit Eric?

Ah, okay! Hold on, let me just get you signed in with the pass-

Count me in!

You sure? This Saturday at the prep-party?

Yeah- Oh!

Eric!

y/n! What are you doing here?

I wanted to surprise you. Am I... interrupting anything?

Oh, not at all!

You must be y/n! Eric’s told me so much about you!

Did he? And you are...?

I’m Chelsea! I’ve been attached to the same Calvin Klein contract he recently got, so you could say we’re colleagues!

Well, nice to meet you! Oh, right, these donuts and coffee are meant for you guys actually!

Oh! You’re too kind! Eric, you’re such a lucky man.

I know, she’s just... everything.

Anyway, thank you so much for these. I’ll bring them back down to the studio for the crew to share. But Eric’s pretty much done for the day actually, so you guys can leave if you want to!

Are you sure? Don’t you need help downstairs with the equipment?

No, no! It’s fine, there’re more than enough people downstairs. Go have your date, and maybe you can bring her along with you for the prep-party this weekend!

What’s the prep-party... preparing for?

Oh, you’re so adorable! It’s a prep-party for the end-of-May shoot we’re gonna have. it’s a collab with DAZED so it’s a pretty big project.

You never told me you were involved in a collab with DAZED.

I was gonna tell you today.

He has been pretty busy recently, maybe slipped his mind. Anyway, thank you so much for the donuts and I’ll hope to see you at the pier this Saturday, mm?

Yeah, sure. Thanks Chels.

No problem! It was so nice to meet you, y/n, I’ll see you Saturday!

Okay, bye!

Bye, Chelsea! It was nice to meet you!

Bye!

...

Sweet, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?

I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought you said you’d end pretty late?

The filming was cut short because the shots were better than expected so we ended early.

Oh, I wanted to film you while you were at work.

You have that on?

Yeah- why?

No, just wondering.

Are you uncomfortable?

No, no, it’s just... I really didn’t expect you to come to the studio.

...

[REC: MAY 11, 2019 - 11:12PM] SOLO LOG #12

It’s 11:12pm, 11th May, 2019. 11 days to departure.

...

I... saw... Chelsea and Eric... um, out by the garage-

...

Well, I guess... it looked like they were just... having a really good talk. Or something.

...

I left. I couldn’t watch it. So, I left without telling Eric. I did tell his boss that I wasn’t feeling well and I had to leave first.

...

I guess this is the part where I regret it, isn’t it? Um... I don’t know... how... I’m gonna explain this to him when I see him again. Which is supposed to be- um- the rest of the night. I was supposed to go back to his place with him and I’ll stay for the weekend before I come back to pack my things, so-

...

y/n, are you home?

...

shit.

y/n, I know you’re home. I heard you talking. Open the door, I need to talk to you.

...

[REC: MAY 12, 2019 - 2:00AM] SOLO LOG #13

...

I look like shit, don’t I? God, my eyes hurt like a bitch.

...

I don’t think I need to say what just happened for you to guess what just happened, right? This... says it all.

...

Fuck.

...

I shouldn’t have come here. How did- How did my retreat turn out- turn out like this?

...

This is- This is too much. Too much in too short... of a time.

...

I don’t think... I don’t think I can do it. Not anymore.

...

[REC: MAY 19, 2019 - 9:59AM] SOLO LOG #14

It’s May 19th, 2019, almost 10am. I just came back from a morning walk by the beach just to... reminisce a little before I leave on Wednesday.

...

I... haven’t seen Eric since the prep-party. I blocked him and I told him not to come over, though I think he has, like, a few times. I thought I heard someone come up to my door, but he never knocked.

...

So, this is how it ends, huh? A 50-day romance cut short like that. Into about, 40?

...

It’s crazy to think that I had... the experience of a whole relationship in 40 days. I definitely did not sign up for that when I booked this 50-day retreat.

...

It was fun while it lasted, though. It was. I don’t think I’d find anybody else like Eric, and I guess it just sucks that it had to end like that. Things happen, right? That aren’t... in our control.

...

[REC: MAY 21, 2019 - 8:07PM] SOLO LOG #15

May 21st. About 8pm. I leave in about 15 hours.

...

All my stuff’s packed. Definitely more things to bring home than I brought here. Half of these things were bought by Eric and given to me. I’m... actually not sure if I should bring them back.

...

I don’t- I just don’t think I’d have the heart to throw them away.

...

Nor look at them when I’m home.

...

Should I even bring this camera home? Maybe I should wipe your memory before I bring you home, hmm?

...

It feels like a dream, doesn’t it? Everything that’s happened. It feels like a fever dream. Maybe when I’m finally home, I’d wake up and it’d be the day I come here.

...

Maybe.

...

[REC: MAY 22, 2019 - 10:03AM] SOLO LOG #16

-ny more luggage?

Nope.

Alright then, I think you’re all set. You still have about an hour’s time before the gates are open so you can get a cup of coffee or something, yeah?

Okay, thank you!

Have a nice flight ma’am.

Thanks.

...

Good evening ma’am, can I check your boarding pass?

Yeah, sure.

...

Okay, you’re good to go. Have a safe flight.

Thank you!

...

[REC: MAY 22, 2019 - 11:34AM] SOLO LOG #17

It is about 11.30am and I’m on the flight, and here’s the view outside. Sky’s pretty clear and this thing says that the weather’s great so, it should be a smooth flight without turbulence.

...

This is it. This is really it.

...

Um-

Hi, ma’am, I’m gonna need you to keep your camcorder.

Oh! Yeah, sure, sure, sorry!

[REC: APRIL 2, 2020 - 12:48AM] ERIC LOG #1

Wow, this is... weird. How did you do this last year?

...

Um, hi. y/n. If you’re watching this then I’ve somehow managed to get this synced into your camera by some weird... bluetooth, iCloud shit that Felix helped me figure out.

...

It’s been a year. And... I just thought you should... see this, or hear me out, at least. I know we didn’t end on the best terms... and I’m sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have yelled at you for being unreasonable for something that was... suspicious. I should’ve understood.

...

I should’ve been there. To see you off. And I’m sorry I didn’t. I... was scared, that I wouldn’t be able to let you go if I went to send you off. I was a coward. I still am.

...

But I do want you to know that... those 50 days were the best days of my life. Albeit it ended horribly, but nothing could... nothing- nothing will ever replace what happened last April.

...

I said I love you and... I still do. Every day I think about you and your smile and your voice and- and I cry to sleep... worrying that I’d forget how you sound like, or how you laugh and how... how you smell like. My bed smelt like you even after you left.

...

I just- I love you. And I miss you. And I’d do anything to go back to what we had. I’d do anything to get- to get you back.

...

I’m sorry.

...

the clip comes to an automatic stop. the white triangle slapped onto the screen, begging you to play it again. you look up from the screen, watching the famous calvin klein ad that hasn’t stopped playing in the last month.

he hasn’t changed one bit. not his hair, not his smile, not his voice.

it’s a bittersweet pot of memory stashed in the back of your head when the memories flood back. looking back down at the camera, you count back the days - it was synced just last night.

the pile of tissues by your thighs are carelessly huddled into the bin next to your feet, mentally berating yourself for going through the memory instead of formatting it.

you stand, fingers shutting the screen back onto its body with a soft click. the tv blacks out when you press the red button on its remote.

you’re halfway into your kitchen when there’s a knock at your door, and you immediately gasp, blinking rapidly.

“oh, it’s my fucking projector!”

rushing to the door, you don’t hesitate to get the door open.

and yet, like the heavens were providing you with all the light to stop you from doubting yourself, your lungs empty themselves like vacuums.

your heart stops.

your breathing stops.

“eric... what are you doing here?”

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crybabytoy59 · 3 years ago

Text

The ultimate backwards way forward….

1. The day had finally come all the hours, days, weeks, months and years even.....That had lead to this one intrepid moment. Tonight He (Mark) stood before Her “Chrissy”....Shaking whilst doing as instructed, he was to put his Big clothes into the black bags in front her. She would decide what if any we’re to be kept. All things related to his Big life went in…

Next She sat him down in only a cartoon disposable & a onesie ! He sat & listened as she reinforced her Will as the midnight deadline approached !...

She spoke very gently, a deep love of genuinely wishing to take him to his “little place”, Yes his Big had pushed back and fought at times but this was IT her words would be final ! No turning back whatsoever no wriggling out. A new life lay ahead as Chrissy delicately spoke….

2. “Now sweet-pea all your big things are away and in fifteenth minutes you will be My Bunny, my BabyBoy & I your Mommy I will treat you as a baby always & this you will come to accept through Mommy’s intense retraining of you to become that infant baby again we will take you back mentally & physically to a small child, Mommy’s cute toddler In nappies 24/7 ….

This will not be easy at first but please trust Mommy, she is going to help you mentally to be the baby that hangs on to every one of Mommy’s kind nurturing words….. So Bunny are you ready hmmm, Are you ready my darling baby boy?

3. Mark took a huge breath but still the words came out at a tremor…..“Yyes am rready Mommy, I realise my fears will at times test you for that I am truly sorry… but I do wish for this deep inside, so any fears I have, I gladly hand them to your care & compassion, to regress and nurture me into who & what we Both wish for…So yes Mommy your “Baby boy” wants this with all his heart.... Mommy hugged him tightly, anticipating the clock in the nursery awaiting for it to strike Midnight !! ...

4. The nursery was a work of art they had both built together a room where Baby Mark was dwarfed by the furniture within the nursery ! .......As the big hand met the little hand of midnight…Mommy began to speak almost in a whisper…“Baby? give Mommy her “Gift” of your submission.”

5. She smiled warmly watching the mirror as her baby began wetting the cartoon disposable, she could see it changing colour through the soft white plastic pants, she stroked his hair soothingly as the nappy began to swell outwards…“Clever Baby All done Sweet-pea?” (he nodded into her soft shoulder welling up slightly in the knowledge that this was his “Gift”, his submission to her, the first act of remaining in nappies 24/7 at Mommy’s will)

The very smell of her soft flesh had always made him feel a Deep want of regression ! But tonight she smelt Devine. Chrissy had taken a shower before this chat, washing her hair with Johnston’s Baby shampoo, she then oiled her whole body with baby oil! Knowing the effect it would have on Mark, pushing him over the sensory edge....After all the Hot pulsing between her legs drove her want of complete control over him! …“Clever Boy let’s get you changed & down for the night in your onesie and blue booties, then I'll read you a nice little story”….

6. As he waddled slowly forward, suddenly Mommy barked “And what do you think you are doing Mr? ” ...He was puzzled by this remark & Mommy’s new stern tone? Mommy simply smiled saying “Are you a big toddler yet Crinkle Butt? No, you are not ! All fours baby... Now! As what did Mommy say to you about obedience? (He got down on all fours, as she wished, knowing soon he would have the blue crawling booties on with the nasty studs that made walking near impossible anyway! )

That and the ankle cuffs with the tiny locks would make removing them a futile task!)… As he crawled Mommy patted baby’s botty “Much better see you can be a clever Bunny for Mommy! ” Baby jolted forwards as Mommy spanked him full force ! “Pardon Baby? ”... Yethss mommy ! ...

“Much better think we just earned our first “redstar” baby Yes?” …. “Wess mommy sworry…” “Clever Baby you can put it on the naughty behaviour chart after Mommy changes that soggy bott bott of your’s ehy? Up on the changing table then Mr, let’s get that wet nappy off & your special night time dipee on!”

7. As baby got up on the table he could feel the soggy thin cartoon nappy sagging! ... Complete humiliation overcoming him at his new lot in life, a true baby boy status started to hit home. God how he loved this girl so much, knowing he would now no longer be able to touch her in a Big way he felt that new part of the Humiliation was ever looming and yet to come pressing closer. Mommy was very clever, astute and thorough, she would have a lot in store for her new charge.…Mommy tugged the plastic pants down “Someone has a soggy bumbum! look at this wet nappy Mr! (He couldn’t miss it in full view from the mirrored ceiling over the changing station ! This had been Chrissy’s idea as she loved the Humiliation element that it brought! )…“Aaawww don’t fret your going to be doing this all the time now Crinkle Butt!...As Mommy is going to make sure you become such a dribbling dependant little boy”….she chuckled lightly...There seemed to be a glint in her eyes too.

8. The clean up was very intense & had baby stirring underneath her! She reapplied the thick white cream paying just enough attention to all the right spots then she delicately but quickly slid the night time pluggie in. This was Very large & could be adjusted to vibrate with a very intense level if was required… baby gasped as Mommy pushed it all the way home! As Baby moved she chuckled lightly and playfully spanked the huge night time nappy to a dull thud once she was done! “Mommy's little drum.” she cooed. “ All that padding is going to make sure you will stay safe till morning Sweet-pea… “Now come to Mommy”. He instinctively crawled towards her open lap, she guided him to rest his head in her arms and his back against her leg.

Mommy stretched across to her right side, reaching for the giant glass night time bottle, full with the formula she had earlier prepared.

10. “Take hold with your mittens Sweet-pea, Mommy wants to see how you do, if its to heavy then I will hold it too” She now began to playfully stroke and tease his nipples as he held the bottle unsteadily! The gurgling was instant behind the milky teat as baby had developed very sensitive little nipples, just as she had designed! Straining in his bulky nappy wiggling gently on the spot between her, the whimpering and soft moans started up as the bottle continued to empty. When baby finished the last drops of formula she began to rub and stroke his back, gently massaging him encouraging those little burpies out... Baby squealed as he nearly had an accident at the same! “Ok Sweet-Pea off to Beddie Byes.” She gently held and led his shaking hand. “But first please put the star up on Your chart!” Baby took a red star off the pad & put it onto the first square of naughty chart… (The red stars were for a Sunday evening’s end of week “punishment time” If he had gold stars that would bring a reward) But red !...............Mommy patted the mattress on the double bed sized Cot. “Ok Bunny Boy hop up into your cot now.” He would sleep with Mommy Bear at ni nights time (but unbeknown to Baby, he'd be napping in the day time as well, part of her new routine she had in store for him)! She patted again “Position Baby !”…or do you want a second Red star “!...She chuckled as He scrambled into the cot positioning himself for Mommy!

11. Mommy lifted up the little blue booties to his new horizon line. She took the first swiftly and deftly to his toesies slipping it on his right foot, click the ankle cuffs latched shut. Next was the left, it too had the same bemusing locking system, designed so the Baby (him) could not free himself from the deceivingly cute little slippers. He'd never seen how the locks worked. Click... She smiled at him gently, knowing that the spiked shoes would limit his ability to now stand unaided and maximise her ability to retrain him to a more appropriate babyish crawl. Yes they would make life much easier outdoors too... “Clever Boy, almost done, then we can have that chat and Mommy will read you your bed time story after… ok baby?” ( “Wess Mommy” ) Clever boy Mommy does so love those manners Sweet-Pea well done!”

12. Now a little afraid realising he was properly in Mommy’s world. Things would continue to happen now that he would have no control over. Next Mommy lifted his brand new dummy, he had not seen this one before! It must have been a recent purchase, this one was an extra large sized red yellow and blue primary coloured affair. She knew it had been designed specifically to help him dribble (just a little) and make his big boy words very difficult !!

Putting it into his mouth she moved to his ear and whispered softly “Mommy wants you to nurse on this dum dum sweetie, I won't fasten it into place just yet unless you show me that you can't be trusted, OK?” It was a rhetorically phrased question that didn't need an answer, but there was that same look in her eyes.

13. “Now Sweet-pea first we'll have our wee chat then Mommy will read you a nice story before ni-nights. Your going to need lots of sleep Bunny Boy as Mommy has lots of adventures in store for you tomorrow ! … Now listen very closely as I will say this only once….Mommy is going to have you fast for five days ....This is to strengthen baby’s immune system and also induce a bit of a body reset, then on day six we will start your new baby food regime… This will be all fruit and vegetables as Mommy is going to have a very health baby… So then Baby, you can get adjusted to those adorable nappies nice & easily...Your only going to be drinking fluids for the next five days first though, so Mommy is focusing on those soggy bum bums to begin with, then we will work up to your mushies…Your such a cutie for sucking on your new binkie like a good boy. Well done!

14. “She chuckled lightly lifting the story book to begin…

The alternate “100 Acre Wood”......

God she was so dam hot there and then, in her best condescending cooing Mommy voice. She began “Once upon a time there lived a boy who was very very lonely inside, he desperately wanted to have a friend. Out walking one day in the woods he found a small bunny, it hopped right over to him and began hugging the boy tightly.....The rabbit started to gently speak to the boy! “Hello Crinkle Butt ....The boy protested to the Rabbit “Am a not a Crinkle Butt!”....But the Bunny simply chuckled “I know who you really are Silly! The boy looked around but nobody was there? As he turned around the rabbit stood beside him again swatting his bottom Thwack !!... “I suppose this isn't your nappy then Crinkle Butt?” The boy stayed quiet as he felt embarrassed. But the Bunny Smiled gently and hugged him even tighter. Bunny the Rabbit then took Crinkle Butt’s hand ....“Best we get back inside or Mommy will be angry with us & we will get the hairbrush! The boy took the rabbits hand, as he too hated the hairbrush spankings.....“Ok Bunny we best hurry then as it’s getting dark & Mommy will want us fed & then to Nigh nights”.....They both skipped through the puddles getting Mud all over their legs! ...On the porch Mommy was already waiting standing with her arms folded....Babies look at the colour of you !.... She held out her finger pointing to inside, that’s when both Babies noticed Mommy already had the hairbush!”....oh bother.

15. “Now Sweet-pea I think that’s enough for tonight, Mommy can see you are looking tired I'll read you some more tomorrow if your a good boy. She gently stroked his face “Off to sleepies now.....She began to start the lullaby mobile that hung overhead and the cute little noises and lights softly sprung into action and gently soothed her precious little one into the land of dreams...Mommy lifted the plug remote and set it to the night time precycle with the hypnotic recordings ! These would play all night as the monitor recorded his sleep & dream patterns, it would match the patterns playing the recording & pluggie vibes to their best effects.....Night after night she would subliminally reprogram his brain to be a contented infant Baby Boy... To her will... to her wants... to her Deepest held desire over controlling him, but also letting him be the baby he was destined to become! This would be Absolute !! Her new hypnotherapist friend would help with new insertions of “trigger words” that would become instant in there use over him, no matter where, no matter when or who they were with !.....Fuck every inch of her was tingling with her desire to further his regression......

She looked down at him all safe in that cot with an oversized dummy bouncing in and out. Fuck he was already hungrily sucking on that dummy! Her Chest ached with anticipation....This was just the start, she held all the cards, she had everything ready for the morning & for the day’s events......Time to sleep though, putting her arm over his chest a small whimper came......She smiled to herself...Tomorrow he would go through so many trials and emotions. Day by day his emotional state would become much easier to control due to her fasting retraining, first hunger & loss of energy...then as the energy started to peak later on in the week she would simple take a sense from him so as to have more control mentally over his nappies!....awash with thoughts flashing through her mind she settled down to sleep knowing the “Hypno-Mommy” tapes would be working there magic on him....These she would use as she put him down for his afternoon nap too!

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novamirmirsblog · 3 years ago

Text

So stay with me

Word count: 1957

Request: Yes

Genre: ANGST

Warnings: DEATH. SADNESS. Like there is literally no silver lining.

A/N I've done the foster system based off how it is where I live. I don't know what it's like for other countries so I apologise if it isn't quite the same for where you live :3 ALSO I'm going to put the request elsewhere because in order for the full unhappiness, you must experience it like this 😈

When you first entered the S.H.I.E.L.D training programme, you had been hand picked by Fury himself. You were bouncing from foster home to foster home at the time, causing general trouble by stealing, fighting and lashing out at anyone and everyone. You had no real direction. You knew you were most likely to end up on the streets - sure your social worker would still check in occasionally after you had aged out of the system but there were more and more kids being given up. Realistically, you knew you were on your own. When you reached 13 you knew that no one was going to adopt you. Especially when there were babies and young children available. Deep down, you had figured it out when you were around 9 but you clung to the naive hope that you were wrong.

~~~~~

Fury found you when you were 15 but didn't take you in until you were 17. It was the day after your 17th birthday when he turned up at your foster parent's door. He said he wanted to take you for a military programme and you packed your bag before he had even finished his speech.

You went through years of intense training and passed top of your class for everything. It was surprising considering you had never been first before. What was more shocking was the need for praise. You had always believed that you didn't need it. You had never had it before, so why is it a necessity. You realised how wrong you were when Maria took you to the side and told you that you had done well. The comment replayed in your head for months.

~~~~~

You were 23 when you first joined the Avenger's initiative. 23 when you first met Natasha. The two of you didn't hit it off to begin with, Natasha didn't like how reckless you were and you didn't like how far the stick was shoved up her arse. Truth was, you both liked each other a little more than just friends but neither of you knew how to deal with these emotions. Let's face it, Natasha grew up being told 'love is for children' and you grew up in the system where the cracks were so big elephants fell through them. The team could see it though.

"Just ask her out." Wanda told you while sitting on your bed painting her nails.

"Who?"

"You know exactly who. I can read your mind and your thoughts are very loud."

"No. Your information is wrong." Wanda grabbed your hand, painting the left one first.

"Y/n just ask Natasha out. She'll say yes."

"I hate her. We're enemies."

"Some say you have to love someone to hate them and besides" Wanda paused, gauging your reaction "You wanting to bend her over a table doesn't sound very enemy like."

Heat rose in your cheeks and you prayed nothing gave you away. "Untrue. I want to do that in an enemy way."

"Sureeee..."

From then on, you were extremely careful to keep your thoughts quiet. Especially when you had to watch Natasha train.

~~~~~

It was Natasha who asked you out. At first you thought she was joking and very nearly laughed but then you saw how she was standing, how she said 'will you go out with me' with such nonchalance that it was as if she was asking you to pass the ketchup. No one could be that cool and collected. It was the way she even played slightly with her fingernails that showed you she was nervous. You of course said yes.

That was the beginning of your relationship and you had been going strong for a good five years. The nausea and tiredness however, started three years into your relationship. Natasha used to joke that maybe you were pregnant when it had first started happening, the others laughing at even the thought of you cheating on Natasha. The jokes died down when after a month and a half of running to the bathroom, it finally affected your missions. You were sent right off to Dr Cho and no one would have anything else said on the matter. You had tried to fight them, of course - it really wasn't that bad. All you needed to do. was take some anti-nausea medication and you would be fine.

Leukaemia

You knew that one little word would do so much damage to your strange family if they ever found out. You sat in silence as you formulated a plan, Dr Cho just watching you, letting you process. What was the point in telling your family and causing them pain if the treatment plan Dr Cho had lined out for you worked? There wasn't. That's why you kept it a secret. Why you brushed off any comments about your increased nausea, or your lack of hunger. The only person who knew was Fury.

~~~~~

"Are you cheating on me?" Natasha had cornered you after a particularly tough session of chemotherapy. All you wanted to do was sleep.

"No. Why would you think that?" Words were hard to say when you had to put all your energy into just standing up.

"You go out at all times of the day and night, you're too damn tired to do anything and you never talk to me anymore Y/n... If you wanted to break up you didn't have to cheat."

You knew this day would come eventually. It was a year into your treatments and none of them seemed to be working. Natasha wasn't stupid. It's why you kissed her on the head and pulled her into the tightest hug you could muster.

"I would never do that. I love you Natasha Romanoff. I'll explain but let me get everyone here." You asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to call everyone down to the living room.

Once everyone was settled on the sofas and chairs, you sat on the coffee table, no longer being able to hold yourself up.

"I have leukaemia."

At first, you couldn't bring yourself to look at the others. You didn't want their pity but you knew they wouldn't be able to show anything else. You looked at Natasha first. You knew she wouldn't have a pitying look on her face.

You were right.

Natasha looked furious. How dare someone who didn't even want you in their lives give you a horrible disease. She knew your chances of survival weren't good but there were treatments that could help. She had more than enough money to get whatever treatment necessary.

Tony spoke first. "I'm going to my lab. FRIDAY, contact Dr Cho. I need Y/n's medical details."

Bruce followed quickly behind him. The others gave you sad but hopeful smiles. You couldn't bring yourself to tell them there was little hope.

~~~~~

Natasha had been gone on and off for 6 months. You knew your time was coming to a close but she still hadn't given up. She was always in some country following a lead for some experimental drug to try and cure you.

But there was no cure.

Not for this. Maybe one day there would be a cure, but not in your lifetime. The cure wouldn't be able to save you.

You were almost hesitant to let Natasha come back. It had been a while since she had seen you and now you looked like paper. You were thin and fragile and your skin had lost it's colour and took on a grey tinge. Your cheeks were hollow and your lips were constantly chapped and the only thing you could stomach were tiny meals and energy drinks.

You were dying.

Everyone had come to terms with it. Tony and Bruce never stopped trying to find a cure, it just wasn't for you anymore. Wanda tried her best to keep you as comfortable as she could with her powers and Steve would come and tell you stories of before he was put in the ice to entertain you. Clint would bring his kids until it got too painful for them to see you turn from the scariest, coolest person they knew into a hollow shell.

The only person who hadn't come to terms with it was Natasha.

"Nat she needs you." Steve told her when the team were all eating.

"I know. I really think this time this lead will be the one. Then she can be fixed and-"

"Natasha." Wanda cut her off, her voice dangerously low. She had heard this speech so many times that it was painful to hear it again. "She needs you. She's dying and you need to accept it. You don't have much longer left with her and you're abandoning her when you should be with her 24/7!" Wanda's eyes glowed slightly red as she thought of all the times she had to watch her best friend realise the love of her life wasn't there with her. The cutlery began to shake a little and something fell over in the kitchen.

The crash that you heard woke you up. Maybe it was Natasha. You hobbled out of what was supposed to be your shared room, and made your way to the kitchen. By the time you had reached the kitchen, everyone was fighting. There was food being thrown, knives being grabbed and glasses shattering everywhere. You just stood there as your best friend and your girlfriend attempted to kill each other.

"guys stop." Your throat hurt from hours of throwing up so your voice didn't carry.

"guys really..." You tried again, tears forming in your eyes. You didn't want to spend your last days watching your loved ones fight.

"FRIDAY tell them to stop. please."

"Miss Y/l/n would like you all to stop. Now."

Everyone turned to the doorway where you were standing, horrified that you saw them fighting.

"Y/n, you need to get to bed sweetie." Wanda walked over to you, wrapping her arm around your waist.

"Don't touch her." Natasha stormed over, taking your other side.

"Ladies there's no need to fight. You can share right?" You let out a soft laugh and watched as they both melted. Just because you were dying, it didn't mean you lost your sense of humour.

They both took you back to your shared room, Wanda leaving to give you and Natasha some privacy.

"Please don't go anymore." You laid with your head on Natasha's chest, her hand stroking your hair.

"But I'm so close. I can cure you Y/n."

"Natty please. I can tell I don't have much longer left and I don't know if I'll still be here for when you come back if you leave again."

"But I can't lose you." Natasha whispered, scared that if she spoke any louder, some other power would hear her and take you away from her too soon.

"So stay with me."

~~~~~

It was strange, you thought, lying on your bed; you had always thought you would die doing something spontaneous, or maybe in the field. Not because your cells were abnormal. Natasha had spent every moment with you since she returned 5 months ago. You had planned everything; your funeral, little messages to each of them, where to bury you. Everything was sorted. All that was left now, was to die.

It was an ordinary Wednesday afternoon when you felt the last drops of life drain from you. You knew it was time and so you turned to Natasha who had you wrapped up in her arms, placing a hand on her face, the rest of the Avengers all sitting there quietly.

“When the time is right, we’ll be together again. I’ll always be with you.” You then let your eyes drift shut, never to open again. Not in this world, anyway, but perhaps in the next.

A/N pt 2: NOOO BUT WHY AM I CRYING. THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT WAY AROUND. We've got some Peggy Carter fluff coming up soon tho :)

Also here is the request:

A Natasha x fem!reader. Reader was one of THE best shield agents and a great member of the avengers, but sadly had genetic cancer. After fighting for two years, with nausea, pain, and no improvement, reader knew she was dying. She didn’t want to admit it, especially after all the team has done to help her, especially her girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff. No amount of treatment or amount of money or technology Tony had was gonna save her. In the end, reader comes to terms with it. But Natasha doesn’t want reader to give up. Reader get through to Natasha that she wants to spend her last moments with her without putting more strain on her body. Natasha then comes to terms with it. Eventually, on readers death bed, surrounded by the rest of the avengers, Natasha is holding reader in her arms as reader says goodbye and looks to Natasha and says “When the time is right, we’ll be together again. I’ll always be with you” (GO NUTS AND MAKE IT ANGSTY)

#natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romaoff angst #Natasha Romanoff angst #black widow x female reader #black widow imagine #black widow x reader #black widow x you #black widow #angst

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imagineaworlds · 4 years ago

Text

I Love You (Part Forty-Five) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: SMUT!! Cursing. Dom/sub relationship. Sir kink. Sex toy. Brat taming. Bondage (ropes). Forced orgasms. Overstimulation. Oral sex (male receiving). Dom dropping.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 11,148

Timeline: Season 6 Episode 24. Three months after part forty-four.

Hotch was always gone nowadays. Between work and running errands for the three of us always stuck at home, he was just too busy to sit and relax. I missed him. I missed us, specifically, and how we used to spend every second together, and how good we were together at work. I missed work. I missed driving to Quantico every day or getting on the jet for a thousand different cases. I missed the bullpen, the roundtable room, Garcia’s office, my desk, throwing papers at Morgan’s head as he worked across from me, or teasing Reid, whose desk was across the aisle from mine. Everyone knew that I was anxious to get back— Hotch most of all. I loved our daughter more than anything in the world, but I loved work just as much. I understood now how Hotch felt about Jack.

“Elle was antsy to get back to work after Garner,” Hotch would always tell me whenever I would sneak into the office to look at some of the cases sitting on his desk. I jumped in my own skin as he caught me snooping. “You Greenaways are all the same.” He laughed and snatched me away from the office, practically carrying me down to the bedroom so that we could cuddle while watching Emily sleep in her crib.

At least we got those moments. They were scarce, but we tried to make as much time as possible, even if most of that time was spent sleeping. When he wasn’t around, though, I still tried to include him as much as possible. It was hard for him to talk on the phone whenever he was gone on cases, but I still sent him pictures and videos of the kids to keep him updated, like when Jack held Emily in his arms the other day and he was making fart noises in her face in order to get her to laugh. He called me immediately after I sent the first video. His voice was shaking on the other end, and I knew that something was wrong, so I asked, and he told me that Haley never sent him videos of Jack when he was young. She sent him one, and after that, they stopped altogether. I realized in that moment that he was terrified that I was going to stop sending him videos of Jack and Emily, and he would end up missing out on everything in their lives, and then I would leave him the same way Haley left him. So, I kept sending them. Every chance I got, I was recording one or both of the kids and sending them straight to Hotch’s phone.

It had only been three months since Emily was born. Sometimes it felt like an eternity, other times it felt like time was passing by too fast. When Hotch wasn’t around, it felt like time was moving at a turtle-like pace where I spent every waking moment counting the seconds until he would come home; but then, when he would be there, holding me in my arms, it felt like it came and went with a snap of my fingers. I wished I could have switched time. I wished that I could have just spent an eternity in his arms, not worrying about when I would see him next or if he would even come home.

I suddenly jolted awake when I heard Emily crying in her crib. “Shit.”

Hotch had called last night to tell me that they were finishing up a case and that he would be home soon, but his side of the bed was empty, and all of his stuff was untouched, which meant that he was going to be later than expected. So, that meant that I had to grab Emily and try to calm her down.

I sighed and sat upright. Emily continued to cry and shriek in her cradle until I leaned in to pick her up. As I cradled her in my arms, leaning back against the headboard so that I could close my eyes and rest for a little longer, I hummed a toon for her. Hotch’s favorite song was Blackbird by The Beatles. Since Emily had been born, he had been singing her to sleep with that very song every chance he could get. It seemed like it was the only way she could fall asleep now. I worried that the tradition and schedule was going to ruin her sleep patterns—and I guess I was right since she kept waking up throughout the night whenever he wasn’t there to sing to her. I kept trying to hum for her, despite that.

I was half asleep when she started calming down. I decided that putting her back down in the cradle wasn’t going to help—and even if it would, I was too tired to move. Having a baby was exhausting. With Hotch gone so often, I was having to endure these long nights alone, and the house was so quiet during the day that it sent a shiver up my spine, not to mention I was so bored whenever Emily would be put down for a nap in the middle of the day and I couldn’t call Hotch because he was busy. I couldn’t wait to get back to work. I knew that it didn’t make sense to do it just yet, but I was practically dying to get back. If anything, I’d ask to go back in a week or two. Hotch wouldn’t like the idea, but I was sick of sitting around with a sleeping baby all day while I was just drained. I needed a case. I needed something to keep my mind busy besides my daughter. As much as I loved her, I needed work, too.

“I could get used to this,” Hotch said. I opened my eyes while perking up to see him standing in the doorway, holding his go-bag in one hand and a bag of chocolates in the other. “Coming home to my gorgeous wife and our perfect daughter…” He set down his bag and hurried over to me on the bed so that he could kiss my forehead. He smelled like the jet. “I brought you your favorite chocolates from Seattle.”

“Mmm… Gimme.”

Just as I said it—not having even reached for them or anything along those lines—Emily started squirming and crying in my arms. There it was. Every time there was a bit of peace with Emily, she suddenly started losing it again. I couldn’t win. So, I sighed and slumped back again, ignoring the pleasant surprise Hotch had for me just so that I could try to focus a little more energy into dealing with my precious, perfect, miracle—No. The truth was, she was all of that, but she was also a little screamer, whiner, and… Oh, I loved her… I just had to remember that.

“Here, you take the candy, I take the baby,” Hotch said. He set the bag down between us, then reached to take Emily. “Oh, listen to our little singer.” He adjusted her in his arms with a bounce while standing up again so that he could bounce on his toes.

I opened the bag and took one piece of chocolate before setting the rest of them on my bedside table. “For the past four days,” which was how long he was gone for, “all I’ve done is change diapers and sit around, waiting for her to start crying again. Nothing helps.” Within an instant, Emily stopped crying, instead opting to start cooing and laughing at him. I rolled my eyes. “I hate you.”

“Mhm. I’m sure.” He shook his head at me and sat back down. “Listen, Jack used to cry every time I held him. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t seem to get him to calm down and love being in my arms. Even when he was already asleep and I’d pick him up just to hold him and admire him, he would suddenly wake up, as if he could tell that it was me, and he would immediately start crying. I hated it. The worst part was, every time Haley or Jessica would take him, he wouldn’t fuss a bit. I didn’t understand why. But now I’m on the other end of that deal, and I can tell you, Y/N, it’s nothing you’re doing or not doing. She’s just…” He smiled down at her. “I don’t know… But it’s nothing you can control, baby. I promise.”

I sighed. “One would think after carrying her around for nine months and then staying with her for the last three while you’ve been off at work, she would warm up to me, but nope.”

“She will eventually. We’ve got the next eighteen years at least with her. We’re going to be just fine.”

I smiled and snuggled up against his side, hiding my cold hands under his soft, warm shirt. His abs flexed against my freezing touch for a short moment before he relaxed and shuffled down on the bed somewhat so that I could rest my head on his shoulder, and he could kiss my hair. He inhaled deeply. Despite the fact that Emily didn’t like settling down in my arms anymore, at least we could afford to have little moments like these.

“Are you going to fall asleep again?” he inquired quietly, trying not to disturb me if I really was. I shook my head, though. “There’s something I need to tell you, then.” I hummed a question against him. “Cody and I had a meeting today.”

Uh oh. Personal meetings with the Director were never good during work hours. We had a friendly relationship with Cody, which allowed us to invite him over for dinner occasionally, and for our wedding ten months ago. But meetings during work were never good. Cody meant business while we were at Quantico, and him and Hotch liked challenging each other’s alpha personalities like it was fun for them or something.

“They’re making changes to the department again.”

I groaned, “I swear—”

“It’s okay. They’re just going to be contacting different people in the unit with different offers in order to consolidate their forces into other departments.”

“One of these days, I’m going to storm in there and ask why the hell he keeps sticking his nose in our business when we’ve been his best unit for at least the last ten years—or since you took over.”

“He’s getting pressure from the higher ups, baby. He’s doing his job, the same way we are. I’m just telling you this because if you’re approached by another department, you should tell me immediately.”

“I’m not going to leave the BAU, Aaron. I don’t care what deal it is someone has for me, I’m not leaving the one place that feels like home away from home. For the first time since I graduated high school, I feel like I have a purpose. People care what to hear what I have to say, people trust me, people love me, and people consider me family there. No offer can make me abandon my family.”

Hotch tensed in response to my words. “I think you should consider taking an offer in another department that doesn’t require you to travel as much,” he said quietly. I turned my cheek to look at him. “With Emily and Jack, our hands are so full, but we’ve been making it work because you’ve been at home. What happens when you’re back in the field?”

“Would you take the same job, if you were offered it?”

“Probably not.”

“Why?”

“Because I love the field.”

“Exactly.”

“Y/N…” he whispered in my ear, reaching over to lift my chin with his fingers. “You should really consider it. I don’t want you to get hurt out in the field.”

I put my hand over his. “Aaron, if there’s no pressure on you to stay home with the kids, and you just get to stay with the BAU because you love it, then I should be shown the same consideration.”

He kissed my cheek. “You’re right.”

“I know.”

He chuckled lightly. “I love you.”

“I love you.” I turned to look at him and kiss his lips slowly and passionately. And then his phone started ringing, making Emily squirm before letting out a cry that practically said: “Why have you awoken me from my slumber?!” I sighed. “Aaron—”

“I know, I know.” He passed Emily over to me gently before he started rolling off the bed so that he could answer the call in the hallway. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’ll be back in a sec.”

As he left the bedroom, I adjusted Emily in my arms, bouncing her lightly while cooing against her nose that everything would be alright. I was so done with the shrieking. Someday, I was going to give her a lot of shit for all of this yelling, crying, and pooping. She was going to hate the way I would inevitably tease her about it endlessly, but she was my daughter… my perfect baby girl… I wanted to remember her like this forever and always. When she was big, and maybe expecting a kid of her own one day, I’d tell her about how she kept me up night and day with her shrieking. This would all be a distant memory before I would even know it. I felt my heart break somewhat. I didn’t want her to get any bigger than this. Growing up meant that she would want to explore the world, and I knew just how cruel other people and places could be, and especially to innocent, precious little rays of sunshine like her. I didn’t want her to get hurt. Ever. I wanted to just keep her safe in my arms until the end of the time. I could do that, right? No… But I could cherish this for a little longer, at least.

“They need me in the office for something,” Hotch whispered to me while walking back in. I let my eyes fall shut in order to hide my disappointment. “Here…” He reached out for Emily, offering to help calm her down and put her in bed before he would leave. I let him. As he lifted her and rested her tiny torso against his shoulder, giving him a chance to pat her back while bouncing on his toes slowly, he started humming Black Bird for her. I smiled and slumped against the pillows. “I’ll call Jessica to see if she can stop by later to watch the kids so that you can rest for a bit,” he said after noticing how I was already out of it.

I nodded with my eyes still closed. “Thank you.”

Emily started calming down. Her cries and shrieks slowly turned into pants that turned into coos before she fell asleep in his arms. “And like that…” he whispered, “she’s out like a light.” I heard him shuffle to the crib so that he could set her down. Our bed shifted as he sat next to me. “Baby,” he put a hand on my thigh, “call me if she starts fussing again and your humming doesn’t work.” I nodded. “Y/N, I’ll stay, if you need.”

“No,” I insisted weakly. “Go. I’ll be fine. I just need to sleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Just… Aaron…” I opened my eyes to look at him. “Promise you’ll let me come back for the next case?”

He stared at me for a moment while registering what I said. When it dawned on him, he shook his head. “I can’t promise that.” He grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles. “I’ll see you later tonight. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I whispered, my eyes falling shut again.

Not even an hour later, however, Emily started crying again, and Hotch was already long gone again, leaving me to roll out of bed and lift her up into my arms. I didn’t bother trying to sing to her again. Apparently, that was Hotch’s thing, and I was stepping on his toes by making the futile attempt. So, I just sat there and cooed to her while heading downstairs to make some food for myself and also Jack who would be waking up in a few minutes to start playing video games and watching movies for the entire day. I smiled when she managed to fall asleep after feeding, giving me a chance to make myself a lazy breakfast.

When Jack woke up, he came running downstairs in his pajamas, he begged for me to grab the Cocoa Puffs from the top shelf in the pantry. Hotch and I had to put them up there because Jack was getting addicted to them. He was eating them 24/7. But, on occasion, especially when Hotch wasn’t around, I would let Jack have some. So, I carefully handed Emily over to him so that I could grab the box from the top shelf and pour a fair portion into a bowl for him.

Afterwards, when he had shoveled every single pebble into his mouth and then proceeded to slurp down all of the chocolate-y milk, he put the dish in the sink for me, like I asked, then scurried off to watch TV, like I assumed he would. Only, this time, I decided to join him. With Emily in my arms, I dragged my feet all the way from the kitchen to the living room, where I crashed on the couch. Jack turned on something from Cartoon Network. You know, Saturday morning cartoons. I had Emily sitting on my stomach, letting her little hands play with my fingers up until the point where she started trying to chew on them. I shook my head and kissed her cheeks. At least she wasn’t teething yet. JJ warned me that if I thought Emily’s cries and shrieks were bad now, I just had to wait and see how bad it would get within the next few months or so when Em would start teething. Shit. I was hardly getting sleep as it was, I couldn’t imagine it getting any worse.

Halfway through a cartoon, Emily fell asleep against me. Her little breaths slowly turned into hiccups, which made me laugh. JJ used to warn me all the time when I was pregnant that Emily could hiccup in the night, which would keep me up. I guess I got lucky, though, because she only hiccupped once, and it was while I was at work with Garcia. We were sitting in her office, waiting for the team to call for help or with an update. We were ridiculously bored. At some point, Garcia revealed that she had a huge tub of Twizzlers hiding under her desk. Together, we went through all of it, and I supposed that was the trigger for Em to start hiccupping non-stop. It wasn’t annoying, like JJ said it would be. No, it was funny. When it started, I jumped, thinking that something was wrong, but then Garcia started laughing when it kept happening, at which point we realized what was happening. That was the only time she ever hiccupped, though. I almost wished that it would have happened again while Hotch was home, just so that he could have laughed with us.

Finally, when she stopped hiccupping during the cartoons, my smile faded and my eyelids started getting too heavy to keep open. So, I did what felt natural… I slowly fell asleep with the glow of the TV in the room and dumb cartoon sounds ringing in my ears.

----

I woke to the sound of the front door opening. The TV was off, Jack long gone to go play soccer outside, it seemed by the way I could hear the soccer ball hitting the side of the house over and over again as he practiced his passing. I rolled my eyes. At least Emily was still asleep on my chest, no sign of waking up any time soon. The drool soaking my shirt was a downside, though.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Hotch whispered.

I shook my head. “It’s okay, baby.” But then I realized who it was that was standing there and why that was odd. I tilted my head in curiosity at him. “Wait…”

Since he had been called away so early and left in such a rush, I was sure that he was headed off on a case elsewhere in the states. Yet, there he was. Standing there in his suit—which he must have changed into either before leaving when I fell asleep, or maybe even when he got to the office if he didn’t want to disturb me—he smiled shortly at me. At first, I didn’t think anything about it. I figured that we were both just tired, and he was probably busy, so I didn’t ponder on his short, yet still sweet, smile that he sent me, and I reciprocated.

“You’re home early.”

“Yeah…” He sounded like his mind was elsewhere.

“Is everything alright, my love?”

“Has anyone called with an open position?”

I furrowed my brows. “No.” Why was he asking?

Hotch swallowed hard before moving to approach the couch and sit down beside me, offering to take Emily from my arms. I watched him curiously. He was being awfully quiet for someone who just got home and would usually shower me in kisses and a thousand different ways for him to tell me he loved me. But he seemed like something awful was weighing on his mind, which was so concerning to me.

“Baby, I’m gonna have to go,” he admitted quietly to me while looking down at Emily. “I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged and smiled with relief. “Okay, so you have another case. I’ll see you in a few days.”

Hotch didn’t say anything. He kept his gaze glued to Emily as she played with his finger using both of her tiny hands. Something wasn’t right. If Hotch was being sent on another case, he wouldn’t have come home, especially not early. He would have stayed at the office and he would’ve just called me to tell me that he wouldn’t be coming home for a few days. This was different. He was acting differently.

Emily kicked against his elbow as she continued to wrestle with his finger. I cooed her quiet before looking back up at Hotch. “What is it?”

He lifted his gaze to meet mine. “They’re sending me to the Middle East to lead a task force.”

My heart sank in my chest. I let out a breath of disbelief then hid my face in my hands. A task force in the Middle East? What was he talking about? The BAU didn’t handle things like this— especially if it were just him. He warned me that morning about the possibility of reassignments, but I didn’t think this was what he had in mind, and I thought that we were going to talk about it before either of us accepted or declined any kind of offer that would be thrown our way. We just had a baby, and now he was being sent on a mission that was going to leave me alone for months? I didn’t know how to do any of this on my own. I wanted to go back to the BAU desperately, but that was because I was confident that between Hotch, Jessica, and I, we could balance it all. Jessica was struggling to keep up with Jack and Emily as it was… I couldn’t imagine what would happen if Hotch left. There was a strong chance that I wouldn’t even get to go back to the BAU if this actually happened. That didn’t feel fair. Why did I have to give up my dream so that he could lead a task force that he didn’t even want anything to do with? Or… did he want this and he just never told me? If so, when did he decide that it was something he was interested in pursuing, and why the fuck did he not tell me? It suddenly all made sense to me why Haley always got so frustrated with him. Our family was right there in D.C. and Virginia, and he wanted to tuck tail and run off to who knew where in the Middle East.

“Don’t do this to me, Aaron… Please…” I lifted my head away from my hands so that I could look at him again. He seemed so sad to be leaving, but he wasn’t doing anything to prevent it. This was an opportunity, not an order. He could have turned it down whenever. “I can’t do this alone.”

“I’ve already talked to Jessica. She’s offered to move in until—”

I scoffed. “So, you’ve already made up your mind and talked to Jessica about it before you talked to your own wife.” I shook my head.

How could he do this? At first, I was distraught because I couldn’t bear the thought of being away from him for so long, especially while our daughter was only three months old, which wasn’t old enough for him to be away from her. He was the only one who could get her to sleep nowadays. The only one. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t get it to happen. I couldn’t do it all alone… I had never spent so much time away from him before Emily, but at least I knew that he was coming back to me every case. Now, I didn’t know anything.

I grabbed his face between my hands and turned his cheek to make him look right at me, though he was fighting to still look away. I was going to make him face this. If he was going to make a decision like this, he had to at least look me in the eye as we talked about it. I pouted at him. “Please stay,” I begged.

He let out a shaky breath. “I can’t.”

“Please.” Shouldn’t that have been enough? Shouldn’t his wife begging him to stay with his family been enough to convince him to never leave again?

“I can’t… The decision’s already been made. I’m leaving in a week…”

I hit at his shoulders roughly, a choked back sob finally escaping me. A fucking week. I was going to lose my everything in a week, and there seemed to be nothing I could do to stop it. Was this fate? Were we always destined to fall apart like this? The worst thought I had in that moment was, what would Haley have done if she were still around and in my shoes? Maybe she would have taken this chance to leave him. Honestly, if she were still alive, I probably would have run to her, of all people, and asked what to do; even though I already assumed that she would tell me that it was time to leave him. But I didn’t want to. I loved him more than anything, and I didn’t want to have to leave him just because he was leaving us. That didn’t seem entirely fair.

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m unsure.”

“What will you be doing there?”

“It’s classified.”

I chuckled. “Of course it is.”

“Baby, you know that I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.”

“Is that what you told Haley before you left for that last case before she decided to leave you?”

“Y/N,” he growled with a bitter tone.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized.

I knew that was wrong of me. I knew that bringing that up was unfair. Hotch and I always promised to fight for each other, even if it meant fighting with each other from time to time. Haley never gave Hotch the same courtesy. That was why she left and why I wouldn’t. Maybe Hotch should have thought about that before taking this offer in the first place. This offer… How could he beg me to tell him if someone called me with an offer, but he didn’t tell me first when he got an offer and before accepting it? I was so pissed… I couldn’t even bear to sit with him any longer. I knew that if I stayed on that couch with him, my anger was only going to grow, and I was inevitably going to hate him. Not on my watch, though. I just needed time to let this blow over so that I could try talking him out of it again later.

I took Emily from him without asking. Hotch hesitated for a moment, practically reaching out for her again before she was even out of his arms. I shook my head at him. “Maybe you should go talk to your son about why he won’t have a dad for a while.” I stood and left the room with that last stinging line.

----

The next morning, I was still angry. I think yesterday was spent sprinting between depression and denial over and over again while trying to find some kind of acceptance in between, but there was none. So, I woke up in the morning to find Hotch still resting peacefully, as if nothing were wrong, and I was mad. I was fucking pissed. He had fucked up a handful of times in the past—just like everyone else—but this was probably the worst. It felt like we were approaching the end. With our newborn in the cradle next to our bed and our son just down the hallway, I knew that it couldn’t be the end. It just couldn’t. But how was I supposed to believe that when he was going to be gone? We were going to both be alone on opposite sides of the world…

Perhaps there was one thing, however, that could remind him of why he married me. Maybe it would even be enough to convince him to stay. But I couldn’t do it while Jack was around. Saturdays were Jack’s relaxing days, then Sundays were his homework days, which meant that he was going to be working down in the dining room all day, which was too open for us. So, it had to wait until Monday. The good news was, that on Monday morning, I was still just as pissed as I was on Sunday. In fact, probably more so now. Yesterday, while I was sitting with Jack to help him with his homework, Hotch didn’t ever approach us. He didn’t ask to talk to me, he didn’t talk to Jack, and he didn’t even sit down to spend time with us or eat meals with us. Fucking ridiculous.

So, while Hotch was dropping Jack off at school, I started preparing my plan. At least, the first half of it, because the rest of it required Hotch to actually be there. When I was ready, I carefully lifted Emily out of her cradle and carried her to her own room to sleep, just in case. Then, I heard the door open. I rolled my shoulders back to fix my posture, as if I were suddenly dawning a new persona, and then I headed downstairs.

“Jessica called, Y/N,” Hotch said from the front door, meanwhile I was still on the stairs, “she said she’s going to be traveling next month, so she won’t be able to look after the kids. We might have to think about getting a nanny since you’re going to be heading back to—” He stopped when he saw me turn the corner. “I…” He chuckled to himself. “What’s this for?”

“Not you.” I turned away from him, the short skirt of my dress flaring up somewhat, revealing how I wasn’t wearing any panties.

I spent most of the morning walking around in that dress, bending down in front of him every chance I got, reaching up for things like the clean towels in the closet or a book up on the highest shelf in the living room. Hotch was silent about it at first. Then, he started testing the waters to see if I was really being bratty or just obvious. He learned quick that I was being bratty. When he asked if I could grab the laundry, I simply said, “No.” When he asked if I wanted any breakfast, I said, “No,” and walked away. Around ten, he asked me if I wanted him to pick up Jack from school later, and all I said was, “I don’t care.”

Next thing I knew, Hotch stormed across the room, held his hand out, and then he pressed his grip against my neck as he pushed me and against the wall. I gasped for air. It didn’t seem to matter, though, because Hotch only squeezed tighter, and he pressed his thigh between my legs. He glared at me. His eyes searching mine, I could see the hints of anger and lust brewing inside of him, something that she was trying to hide, to no avail.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he growled.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Nothing, what?”

“Nothing, Aaron.” I was testing him. He huffed before moving his grip around the back of my neck so that he could start leading me towards the bedroom. “No, wait— Aaron—” I started playfully struggling against him because I didn’t really want to escape from him. At least, not yet. “Baby, I’m sorry!”

Hotch didn’t respond to me. He just opened the door angrily, then led me to the bed with him, still careful to ensure that I wouldn’t trip or hurt myself on my way there. As we approached the end of the bed, Hotch pressed on the back of my neck with his palm, forcing my face down onto the mattress. I hissed at the feeling. When I tried to stand up straight, Hotch increased his strength, pinning me down. I finally gave in, my knees buckling in response to the way his aggressiveness made me embarrassingly wet. But before I could get too comfortable, Hotch made another move. While he grabbed my wrists in order to spread my wingspan across the width of the bed, he also kicked his foot between my ankles with a short and stern demand to spread my legs.

When he was sure that I wasn’t going to budge, he carefully stepped away from me, then moved towards the closet. Shit. Shit, fuck, shit, shit, fuck—Hotch had been so careful with me since we found out that I was pregnant. We hadn’t used the black box since the honeymoon. Of course, since having Emily, it was hard to find time here and there to actually get to all of the fun stuff in the box. I mean, there was hardly any time for us to fuck at all—but we managed to find time since it was an important part of our lives and our relationship, and we knew it. But this… I didn’t think he was going to snap like this.

“Do honorifics mean nothing to you now, brat?” he hissed while pulling out two length of ropes.

“I said I’m sorry!”

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, “Stop speaking out of turn,” as he took my left wrist and looped the rope around it. “Got it?” I nodded. He chuckled at how I caught sight of the trap before it could catch me. He kissed my shoulders. “We’ll use Colors.” I nodded again, knowing that he was probably on edge, too, considering this was the first time we were using ropes in a long time. After roughly tying my left wrist to one of the bedposts, he said, “Color, baby girl.”

“Green.”

“You’ll tell me if it’s Red?”

“Yes, Sir.”

With the reassurance, Hotch moved towards my other wrist, which he tied to the other bedpost. “Maybe you’ll learn your lesson this way.” Suddenly, he flicked the skirt of my dress up, leaving me entirely exposed to him. I gulped. “Stay like that.”

He stepped away from me to grab something else from the black box, but I couldn’t hear what it was until it was too late. He pressed a vibrator right against my clit. My legs buckled again, the mattress and the ropes barely catching me. When I tried to close my thighs around the toy to try and grind against it, or maybe even to escape it, Hotch pressed his legs between my knees to make sure that I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Don’t even think about cumming, slut.”

“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath while hiding my face in the covers.

“Brats don’t get to cum.” He started moving the toy up and down my slit, making sure that every sensitive part of me felt the full force of the vibrations. “I’m gonna keep it right here,” he pressed it directly against my clit again, “and if you cum, things will only get worse. Got it?” I whimpered. He grabbed my hair and pulled me up roughly. “I asked you a question.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He let go of me and turned up the speed of the toy. I cried out somewhat and tugged at my restraints as hard as I could, as if it would help make him stop. Even if I escaped, he wasn’t going to stop. He would inevitably just pin me down himself and make sure that I stayed there the way he wanted, taking what he had to give me. Fuck. My stomach was already twisting into a knot. I felt so out of practice with all of this. My stamina was suffering the most, which meant that my orgasm was already approaching, and it was going to be damn near impossible to hold back.

“Sir, may I cum, please?” I begged before I could get too close to the edge.

“No.”

I cried against the comforter. “Please.”

“I said, no.”

I tensed my stomach as much as I could in an attempt to stop myself from getting any closer to cumming than I already was. “Please, please, please…” the plea kept escaping me without thinking. I knew that it wasn’t going to do any good. I knew that he was probably grinning behind me while watching me struggle against the ropes that were keeping my arms spread, and at how I was wiggling my hips in protest—even though it was probably just making the stimulation worse. “Sir,” I choked out, “I can’t—”

“Hold it.”

But I couldn’t hold it back any longer. My legs shook as I tipped over the edge, my orgasm washing through me ten times harder than I had anticipated, making me scream into the mattress. Before I even came down, though, Hotch shoved two of his fingers into me and curled them right into my g-spot. I struggled again. It was too painful to keep going, but Hotch didn’t care. I had cum without permission, especially after being a brat all day, and that was a big no-no. Not that he didn’t expect this outcome. He knew exactly what game it was that he was playing by denying my orgasm and then proceeding to force it out of me, anyhow. He was hoping that I would break the rule. He was counting on my broken down stamina betraying me during the one scene where I needed it to help me out the most; because no he had every reason in the world to make my life a living hell.

“Did that feel good? Hmm?” he asked.

“Yes, Sir.”

“It felt good to break my rule and cum without permission?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“It won’t feel good in a few minutes.”

My eyes widened as I glanced back up at the wall. “No, please, wait—”

“Color.”

“Green,” I answered reluctantly. As much as I hated the thought of what was in store, Hotch hadn’t actually crossed a line with me yet.

Hotch kept the vibrator pressed against me, ignoring the way I was still trying to close my legs and pull against the ropes, and that was when his fingers started thrusting in and out of me at an unrelenting pace. “You want to cum, huh? Fine… Cum. I’m not going to stop.”

My knuckles turned white against the ropes as I kept pulling as hard as I could. “I’m sorry, Sir. Please.”

“Are you sorry? Walking around in this dress all day… Teasing me… How did you think this was going to end?”

“I— Fuck—” I stopped myself when he added another finger inside of me. “Please, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t believe you.”

I made an attempt to buck my hips away from the touch of the toy and his fingers, but he moved with me and then pressed harder to make sure I wouldn’t budge. I was too sensitive to keep going. I probably had another orgasm in me, but that was all, considering how out of practice we were with this stuff. If he tried to go any longer than that—

“Fuck!” I cried, shaking against his touch. “Please!”

“Cum,” he demanded when he felt me tighten my walls around him. I shook my head. “Do it. You said it felt good, so do it again.” I kept shaking my head in protest, but my body had decided that his words were enough to convince me to tip over the edge, so I came again, this time with a little less force considering how tired I was getting. “Poor baby…” he cooed when he saw me shaking helplessly.

“Please…” I whispered. “I can’t…”

“You don’t get to tease me and think that there won’t be a punishment in store for you, slut. You know the rules.”

“I was just mad…” I croaked. Hotch slowed his fingers and turned down the toy somewhat. “I just wanted to keep you here. I’m sorry…”

He turned the toy off and carefully slid his fingers out of my wet entrance. “Are you dropping?”

I shook my head, but Hotch was already working on untying me. “I was just mad,” I repeated. I was just mad and thought that I had to do something to make him mad, too… I was just mad…

----

Despite what we had done, I still wasn’t over Hotch’s decision, or the arguments that we were having. I was sore from straining my muscles, and my mind was exhausted. So, I was really just done with being around him constantly. I needed a break, and I figured that the best way to do so was by texting Morgan to see if he wanted to grab some lunch with me, and when I got the go ahead from him, I slid out of bed, got dressed into something more appropriate, and headed out without saying anything to Hotch.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I turned off my phone so that I could give Morgan all of my attention. I approached the hostess’ table to tell them that I was meeting someone. They grabbed a menu for me before leading me through the dining room and to the back door where the patio was open since it was such a nice day out.

“They live!” Morgan cheered from the table across the patio. I smiled and hurried over to him, my arms out to catch him in a hug after he stood. “It’s so good to see you, baby cakes.”

I squeezed his neck as tight as I could. “Freedom’s nice.”

He laughed and released me. “I’m sure.” He pulled a chair at the table out for me, then pushed it in under me slowly as I sat down. “How’s my goddaughter?”

“Always crying.”

“I told you I’d take her today.”

“You had her yesterday.”

“For an hour.”

“You know what, next time, she can just sleepover at your house with you and Clooney, and you can get up every time she throws a fit,” I joked.

“Deal.”

I squinted at him before glancing down at the menu to consider what I wanted. The thought struck me that if Hotch were really leaving, then we were probably going to have to get a nanny, like Hotch said when he came home from dropping Jack off at school, but it would also be nice to have Derek’s help. He always offered, after all. There were a handful of times over the past few months where he kept asking to take Emily to the park, or to introduce her to Clooney—which was a big no-no with me right now since he was such a big dog—and so on. Maybe it wasn’t too far out for me to ask if he’d be willing to help out just a bit. I mean, I didn’t mean that he had to constantly be there or answer my calls every time, but… Since she had been born, Morgan had been hanging out with Emily every Sunday that he was in town, so maybe he’d be interested in hanging out with her more often than just Sundays. Then again, he had his own life. He was still in his playboy phase, so it was unlikely that he wanted to carry a baby around all the time. Though, babies were chick magnets… Hmm…

“Something’s on your mind,” he finally said.

I looked at him. “What?”

“You’ve been staring at the menu.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m thinking about what I’m going to get.”

“Mhm. Hey, remember that conversation we had when we talked about how I always know when something’s wrong with you? Yeah… I remember. And it’s still true. So, tell me.”

I sighed angrily, slamming the menu shut, and set it on the table while rolling my eyes. Not at him, of course, but just in general. “Did Hotch tell you that the Director is trying to rearrange the BAU’s funds again?”

“Yeah. He warned the team that we might get offers.”

“Did you?”

“I was offered Kate’s spot at the New York Field Office again.”

“Are you gonna take it?”

Derek immediately shook his head. “No. I love where we are too much. Besides, NYC is too dirty and smelly for me.” Yeah, well, the Middle East was all dirt and sand… Maybe Hotch should have considered that aspect, too. “Y/N,” he began warily, “did you take an offer?”

“No…” I croaked, looking down at the napkin on my lap.

“Did Hotch?”

My lip quivered as I nodded.

Morgan sighed. “What is he—” He stopped when the waiter came over with our drinks. “Thanks.” When the waiter was gone, Morgan continued, “What was the offer?”

“A task force in the Middle East. The rest of it is ‘classified’, apparently.” I shook my head in disappointment while picking up my drink.

Morgan eyed me carefully but didn’t say anything yet. He was waiting for me to find the words to describe how it was that I was feeling about the whole situation, but the truth was that there were no words. I knew that I was angry, I knew that I was depressed, and I knew that I was going to be very lonely for a while because of how this was making me feel and react. I was lashing out at Hotch, and that wasn’t the right thing to do. Some part of me understood that. Some tiny, little piece of my mind was screaming at me to do better, to support Hotch like I normally would because I didn’t want to turn into Haley; but reality took the wheel instead of reason. The reality was that Hotch was leaving his family at a time when he needed to be around more. I just had a baby, our daughter was so young that she still needed her father around, and Jack needed reassurance from his father that he wasn’t being forgotten. But Hotch had decided to run from all of that. He made the choice to leave, and so I got angry, and I wanted him to fucking know it. Not that it would help.

“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “Is it weird that I just want to go numb?”

“No.”

“Then, why can’t I?”

“Because you know in your heart that you have to solve this—if not for your relationship, then for yourself. I know you, Greenaway, and you don’t like leaving pieces of your life unresolved. Whatever the decision ends up being, I know that you’ll at least end up feeling at peace with it eventually because you’ll know that you did all you could.”

“I want him to stay.”

“What does your life look like if he doesn’t?”

“Dark.”

“No. I mean, really, what would your life look like? How would you make it work, because I know for damn sure that you’re not going to give up on him.”

I hated it when he got all wise on me because that was when he started to make the most sense. “I—”

“Alright. What can I get for you two?” the waiter said while speeding over to our table and flipping his notepad open.

After we ordered and turned in our menus, he hurried away, and I looked at Morgan again.

“Realistically, Jessica would have to help out more, which isn’t fair of me to ask of her, even though, apparently, she’s offered to move in with us while he’s gone. I just don’t want to do that to her. But Hotch was right when we talked on Saturday about it. He’s going to be gone and I’m going to be busy with work. There’s no one around who can rush home if Jack or Emily suddenly need something important. Like, I can’t just drop a case because of it, you know? When Hotch and I were working together, it was easy because one of us could stay at work while the other ran home. But now… That’s not an option anymore. So, realistically, my life is going to boil down to family or work, not family and work.”

“And you don’t want to have to make that choice.”

“Of fucking course not. I’ve been dying to get back to work, Derek. I can’t stay holed up in the house any longer, I swear.”

“So, you need an extra pair of hands,” he said, almost like he was alluding to something.

My eyes widened at the realization. “No—”

“—Yes—”

“—Absolutely not!”

“Why not, pudding?”

I squinted at the nickname. “Because you have a dog, a line of girls waiting to fuck you, and your own life to worry about.”

“Well, Clooney can either stay downstairs all the time because you guys got those godforsaken baby gates—” Yeah, we all hated those because we kept forgetting that they were there, so we kept tripping, but then it was also ridiculously hard to open them while juggling a baby in one hand and trying to get the lock undone with the other— “Or, he can stay with a friend.”

“So, we do musical chairs, but with our babies. You get Emily, and your friend gets Clooney?”

“Why not?”

I shook my head. “I can’t believe…” I started laughing.

“Listen, Y/N, I really want to help out. You’re my best friend, and Hotch means a lot to me—and I know how much this opportunity means to him—and Emily’s my goddaughter, so, of course, I want to help out as much as I can. It’s not a big deal. Please, let me help.”

I stopped laughing long enough to gauge just how serious he was. His posture was still straight and unchanged, his eyes were soft like he was pleading, and his breathing was steady, which meant that there was no hint of an act or a lie. He was being serious. When I thought about asking him to help out here and there earlier, I didn’t anticipate this would be the outcome. But how could I say no? I mean, even if I did, it wouldn’t have made a difference. Derek Morgan was going to jump every obstacle between him and Emily until I would inevitably just give in to his offer; so, why not just make it easy for him?

“Okay.”

He smiled. “Okay.”

----

When I arrived home, a smile still on my face as I recalled a stupid joke Morgan cracked during lunch, I set my stuff on the table next to the door and hung up my jacket on the coat rack. The house was dark, which was… peculiar. It was Monday evening, which meant that Jack should have been running around or doing his homework downstairs. And there was no hint of Emily crying. Peculiar. Where had everyone gone?

That was when I turned into the living room to see Hotch sitting there, facing the TV, which was off. Odd. I carefully approached him in case he was holding Emily in his arms and she managed to fall asleep. But once I got close enough, I realized that he was just sitting there. He was staring at the wall.

“Hi,” I welcomed cautiously. He didn’t say anything. “Aaron?” He looked at me shortly, anger washing over him before he turned back to face the wall. “Where’s Jack?”

“A friend’s house,” he answered shortly.

“Emily?”

“Sleeping upstairs.”

“And you?”

He didn’t answer.

“What’s wrong?”

“Where were you today?” he asked quietly and calmly, even though there was a bite behind his words that insinuated that he was secretly boiling with rage. I sighed and shifted to take his hands. He moved away from me. “I dropped today.”

I stopped. “What?”

“I Dom dropped, and you weren’t there. I called you three times, and you didn’t pick up. I’ve just been sitting here all day, freaking out, thinking that I actually hurt you this time around, and that maybe that was why you were avoiding me… and that…” He took in a deep breath and looked away from me. “Where were you?”

“Baby, I didn’t know—”

“Where were you, Y/N?” he repeated, this time his anger breaking through.

I swallowed hard, then sucked in a shaky breath, none of which was helping me calm down for his sake. Hotch had never Dom dropped. Ever. I should have known that the one time I would disappear after a scene without a trace and without talking to him, it would take a toll. I should have known. And, yet, I didn’t do anything to prevent this because I was so caught up in the idea of escaping him and our stifling home long enough to just feel my legs again. Realistically, what I should have done was told him initially how I was feeling. I should have told him that I liked all the attention, and I liked what we were doing, and I was okay with the punishment I received for being a brat, but that I needed a break from all of it. I should have told him that I was mad at him. I was mad because he was leaving, and not even the sex was going to keep him home with me.

He would have understood. He would have cared for me and made sure that I didn’t drop, which would have been enough aftercare for him to not drop. But I wanted to see my friend, and I didn’t take my partner’s feelings into consideration. That wasn’t right. Not only did I fail in that moment as his submissive, but as his wife, and as his partner for nearly four long, blissful years. We were more open than this. We didn’t abandon each other’s feelings like this. All I could think was that I was sorry, but I knew that wouldn’t fly in this situation. I needed to do more.

“I was with Morgan, getting lunch.”

Hotch buried his face in his hands. “You could have told me that.”

“I had to turn off my phone so that I could focus on him. I’m so sorry, baby.” I tried reaching out for him again, and this time he let me. I put my hands on his shoulders, then slowly started squeezing, massaging away his tension, releasing all of the anger that was building up inside of him. “How long have you been dropping?”

“Since you left.”

“Okay…” I kissed his bicep. “Okay. I’m sorry. Did you have lunch?” He shook his head. “You need to eat. Do you want a sandwich or a salad or something?”

He moved to put his hands over mine. He brought them over his shoulders, moving me so that I was sitting on my knees behind him, my chest pressed against his back. “Can we just…” He let out a sigh after kissing the back of my left palm. “There’s some leftover pizza in the fridge. I’ll have that.”

I kissed the back of his head. “Alright.” I let him kiss my hand again before I shifted off of the couch and headed to the kitchen.

Once I had the pizza reheated for Hotch, I carefully balanced the plate and a cup of iced tea for him out to the living room. I slowly handed it to him while sitting down. He silently thanked me before setting the glass down, then settling his grip around one of the piece’s curst. I scooted closer to him so that I could rub my hand over his back as a comfort. He melted somewhat. He continued to eat through the two separate pieces before drinking the iced tea. Then, when he was done, he relaxed against my touch, letting me run my fingers through his hair over and over again.

“Baby, if I knew, I would have stayed. If I knew, I would have come back. I am so sorry, I wasn’t here, Aaron. You’ve never dropped, so it didn’t cross my mind.”

He sniffled. “I don’t know why it happened. I’ve just been so fucked up since I found out that I’m leaving, and I’ve been taking it out on you, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve gone that far with you this morning.”

“It’s okay. I was fine with it, Aaron, I swear. I know you think you hurt me, but you didn’t—you never have, and I doubt that you ever could.” I carefully grabbed his hand, but he reached around to hug me. I kissed his neck. “Look at me.” He did so. “How do we handle this in the future? Tell me what I need to do, and I’ll make sure this never, ever happens to you again.” When I offered getting him some food, I had just guessed that was what he needed, but everyone handled dropping differently.

“I don’t… I don’t know,” he admitted. I brushed my fingers through his hair. “I wouldn’t know what would help…”

“Well, there’s a handful of things. You know me, I like physical touch. Being held by you and loved by you is enough to help me not drop or to stop dropping entirely. But some people like service—like food, or clean, warm clothes or sheets; others like distractions, like movies or exercising; I’ve been with someone who always needed sexual release when she Dom dropped.”

Hotch squinted at me. It wasn’t that he disliked hearing about past partners, but he didn’t like being compared to them. That wasn’t even my intention. I only brought it up because it was hard to tell him that it was okay if he wanted to cum while he was upset. That didn’t make him a bad guy. Even though it was a long time ago, and she and I were young, I could remember vividly how she’d tell me if she felt off after a scene, and I would just know what to do, and she’d immediately feel better. That was how we worked. But I never thought that Hotch would need it, too. I hadn’t seen this coming—which was very much my fault—and so now I needed to find out how to prevent this in the future. His job as my Dominant was to make sure I was in a safe environment before, during, and after play scenes. I neglected my job as his submissive to show the same courtesy. She would have never let that happen because she knew herself well enough to warn me, but Hotch hadn’t seen this coming.

“Just,” I patted his chest, “whatever you feel like you need, tell me. I don’t want you to ever have to go through this again—especially alone. Okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” He stayed quiet in order to consider all of his options. I continued to brush his hair back out of his face. A thought that was hitting me was that Hotch hadn’t cum before I left, which could have been part of the problem in the first place. He was so caught up in the idea of punishing me that he hadn’t even taken the chance to fuck me, or even use my mouth. And then, like he was reading my mind, he said, “Could you…” He gulped and rolled his hips instinctively. I smiled lightly. “I’m sorry… That’s stupid…”

“No, it’s not,” I insisted, shaking my head. “Just relax.”

I slid off the couch and landed on my knees before crawling my way between his thighs. He was already hard in his pants from waiting with anticipation. The point wasn’t to tease and play with him. The point was to make him relax and have him release the stress and anxieties that came with dropping. So, I immediately fiddled with his belt, buttons, and zipper, then pulled his pants down—with the help of him lifting his hips up, of course. When he was just in his boxers, I grabbed onto his waistband, then looked up at him. His head was already thrown back against the cushions, his arms stretched out over the back of the couch. While sliding his underwear down, allowing his erection to spring free against his stomach, I asked if he was alright. He nodded shortly.

When I took his shaft in my dominant hand, he hissed and tensed. I shushed him quietly to make sure that he would relax again, and I didn’t move until he did so. As his thighs on either side of my body released the tension that had built up, and his hands turned from fists to laid out palms on his chest, I pumped my hand up and down a couple of times before moving to luck my tongue over his tip.

“Fuck, Y/N—” He stopped himself from moaning too loud because Emily was still asleep upstairs. “More…” He tangled his hands in my hair. “Please.” I let him push my mouth onto as much of his length that would fit—and then some. Rather than pulling on my hair, like he normally would, he instead opted to run his thumb over my cheek bone to encourage me. “So good,” he whispered when I started bobbing my head quickly. He held me as I hallowed my cheeks and used my tongue for extra stimulation. The goal was his release, that was all. There was no need to waste any kind of time. “Baby…” He was so breathless, and I could feel him tensing up again, so I snuck my hands under his shirt to feel up his loose abs, careful to avoid the scars that had been there for years and would be there for the rest of his life. He removed his hands from my hair. When I felt his fingers dance over mine through his shirt, I spread mine so that we could interlock. “I’m gonna—” His abs tightened against my touch, a thousand curses and breathless moans escaped him, and his hips bucked around slightly as he came. “Fuck, fuck, fuck— Shit—” He whimpered submissively as he rode out his orgasm. When I was sure that he was done, I slowly pulled off of him and swallowed, and I wiped my lips clean with my fingers. Hotch sat up to slide his pants on. “Come here.” I sat with him, but then he moved us so that we were spooning together. “Thank you.”

“Do you feel better?”

“Yes.”

I kissed his bicep that was against my cheek. “Good. I’m glad.”

Silence hung in the air for a few minutes as we both caught our breath, and I was thinking about how he didn’t want me to leave today, and I didn’t want him to leave in a few days… It was all so messy.

“We do have to think about getting a nanny,” Hotch whispered. I scoffed. “I’m serious. With me gone and you heading back to work, it just makes sense that we have someone here all the time with Emily who’s not Jessica.”

“Well, maybe if you stayed, we wouldn’t—”

“I’m not fucking staying, Y/N,” he hissed. “I’m sorry, baby, but I don’t know how much clearer I can be.”

“I’m not going to stop trying to keep you home with me, you know?”

He hummed a “yes” in my ear while pulling me closer. “I know.”

“Will it help?”

“Probably not.”

I screwed my eyes shut to stop myself from crying quietly against him. “I love you, Aaron. More than anything in the world. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You always feel like you have to control everything around you, Y/N, I understand that—in fact, that’s a reason I fell in love with you in the first place. But sometimes you can’t control everything… And when that happens, you just have to admit it and try to move on with your day.”

“I can’t.”

“You’re going to have to try if you’re going to get through this.”

I brought his hands up to my face and kissed his knuckles while thinking about how I couldn’t bear the idea of having to get through anything without him by my side. He was going to be gone for who knew how long. He was going to be who knew where in the Middle East, doing who knew what, risking his life who knew how often. How was I supposed to survive that? How was I supposed to sit around in our home or at the office and do nothing? How was I supposed to trust that he wasn’t going to get himself killed out there? I just didn’t want to think about it anymore. For once, I just wanted to pretend like he wasn’t leaving at all and that I had nothing in the world to worry about.

“I love you,” he whispered in my ear. “More than anything in the world.”

A tear slid down my cheek. “I love you, too.”

-----

criminal minds family: @peggy1999 @gorgeousdarkangel @alex--awesome--22 @oceaneblu @brithedemonspawn @absolutemarveltrash @bshelley322 @rousethemouse @sunshinepower17 @weexinling @pettttyyyc @Braty-angel

#Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfic #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner smut

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greatbigbellies · 4 years ago

Text

Hello! Another new anonymous commission! This is a continuation of THIS STORY and follows the later half of Leo’s hyperpregnancy! Contains hyperpregnancy, tmpreg, some more weight gain and lactation, belly worship, allusions to sex, and general soft lovey dovey content. Enjoy!

“Are you sure you don’t need help carrying anything?” asked Leo, his massive belly swaying left and right as we waddled next to his husband, Marko. Leo was wearing floral swim trunks, and his more than ample chest was covered by a large, stretched tank top, but it did nothing to shield his pale, pregnant belly form the sun. Marko’s arms were full of beach towels, a heavy picnic basket, a bucket of bulk-order sunscreen, and two folding chairs for the pair. He stared at Leo’s belly, then into Leo’s eyes, before shaking his head and smiling. “I love you hon but you’re carrying enough,” he said. Leo realized his hands were all but glued to the sides of his tummy to steady his gait, and he realized that, yes, 24 babies was probably enough for one man to carry. Or is it? He thought to himself.

Leo had maintained mobility for a little longer than expected, so the two set out for one final non-stay-home-and-eat date together, at a nearby beach just an hour away. The stretch of sand was largely unpopulated, save for some squawking seagulls, so the couple had the privacy they needed to just… be. Granted, Leo had grown more accustomed to being the center of attention, and in a weird way was starting to enjoy it, but there was still something serene about being alone with his doting husband.

Marko checked his watch, and looked around the beach before setting the chairs down in the sand. “Tide’s coming in… and if my information is correct, in a couple hours, the water well flow right up across your lower tummy, and run over your feet. From here, you can experience the ocean without having to get up!” he said, unfolding one chair behind Leo, letting him take a seat. Leo’s considerably widened hips and butt filled the chair, creating audible creaks as it supported his pregnancy weight.

Marko laid out a towel on the sand before plopping the rest of the supplies on it. There was a nice breeze, carrying the cool ocean mist up to the pair without being obnoxiously strong. “You hungry babe?” asked Marko. Leo nodded eagerly, prompting his husband to pull a very stacked sandwich out of the basket. “I’ll get to work on your sunscreen while you eat that,” he said, kissing Leo on the top of his head, making the pregnant man blush.

He popped open the bucket of sunscreen while Leo tore into the sub, taking in the cacophony of flavors. Marko all but dunked his hands into the sunscreen, getting a good thick coating on both hands, before moving over and placing them on the front of Leo’s tummy. He shivered a little at the sudden application of cold lotion to his bare skin. Marko moved his hands in large, sweeping circles, applying a coating of sunscreen to Leo’s expanse of gravid skin. He leaned forward and placed a quick , loving kiss on the front, before covering that spot with more sunscreen.

“You love doing that, don’t you?” Leo asked between bites. “What, putting sunscreen on you? I guess?” said Marko confusedly. Leo chuckled, causing his belly to jiggle slightly. “No… well… yes obviously you love doing that, but… kissing my belly. You do it all the time,” he commented. Marko, blushed, but Leo couldn’t see it past his expansive midriff. “I mean… it’s like kissing you and our kids at the same time? I just… I have a lot of love to give you guys,” he replied. Leo beamed, his husband was such a softie. “Honey you DON’T have to explain yourself I love it when you do that! I was just pointing it out,” he said. The chair creaked again as he continued his sandwich. .

Marko moved onto the left flank of Leo’s tummy, blushing more intensely. Leo smirked, “I think the babies love it too,” Marko’s heart fluttered. “Really?” he asked. Leo nodded, “kiss me and feel how much they kick!” he teased, though Marko didn’t need to be told twice. He laid a deep, tender smooch on the side of Leo’s 13 month pregnant tummy, and felt it up with his hands. A flurry of kicks and shifts from inside confirmed what Leo said. If Leo thought Marko kissed his belly a lot before, he had no idea what was to come. Marko got back to work putting on the sunscreen, but would pepper a patch of skin with kisses before running his hands over them. Leo gleefully enjoyed the worship as he continued demolishing his sub. Right as he was about halfway through it…

Creeeaaaakkkk… the bolts holding his chair together snapped under his weight, and he plopped onto the ground with a THUD. Marko looked at him, shocked, and asked “Oh my god are you okay? Are you hurt? Are the babies okay?” Leo assessed himself. The surprise was the worst part. His belly simply shifted slightly, and his marshmallowy ass softened the landing, though his brood of 24 was completely riled up inside, causing visible movement. “Yeah I’m okay! I just…” he looked at his dropped food on the ground, now covered in sand. “Aw, I was going to finish that…” he lamented. Marko raised an eyebrow, “so, you’re okay?” he asked. Leo nodded, staring at his lost meal. “Yeah, I’m just down like… half a sandwich,” he brushed his fluffy frown hair out of his face and winced, a slight ache from his landing starting to manifest. Marko sighed and smiled, “Well I packed like… four of those subs, hon. There’s plenty more,”

Leo gasped, if he could physically have hearts for eyes, he would. “You know how to treat a guy!” he puckered his lips, prompting Marko to lean over and kiss him. He chuckled, “you might be good at tummy kisses, but THOSE are my favorite,” he said before returning to eating, now planted firmly on the ground, legs spread to make room for his gargantuan tummy. Marko simply smiled before returning to work, getting back to spreading the UV protecting lotion over his husband’s pregnant body.

Fast forward a couple of hours, and not only had Leo’s belly been thoroughly coated in sunscreen, and thoroughly filled with food, but he’d been thoroughly peppered in kisses and thoroughly complimented by his husband. It was a good day. Marko had enjoyed his half of the date too. Feeding, kissing, and otherwise pampering Leo was what he lived for, and doing it on the beach with sand under his feet and the waves splashing nearby just set the whole mood for him. He sat on the ground next to Leo, discussing life, love, and baby names, and generally having a lovely time.

“eeEEEP!” eeped Leo. “What’s wrong?” asked Marko, nearly jumping to his feet. “The cold water just touched my tummy, the tide has really rolled in,” said Leo. “I really wasn’t expecting it,” another wave washed up and lightly coated the front lower end of Leo’s tum in cold, briney seawater. “You wanna get up? We’ve been here for quite a while,” Leo nodded, “We’re out of food, I’m getting cold form the seawater, and frankly my pregnant ass could use a nap,” he said. Marko chuckled, taking Leo’s hands and using his considerable upper body strength to help him to his feet.

Leo’s belly rolled forward, shifting as he stood. His brood of two dozen riled up inside, and his hands shot to his belly. Marko knew what to do and started running his hands over the expanses of belly that Leo couldn’t reach, soothing their babies. After a moment, Marko gathered up their supplies while Leo began the considerable task of rotating his entire body 180 degrees. The two began the slow trek back to their vehicle, satisfied with the outing. It would be their last for a long, long while.

6 months later

“Don’t get your hopes up, it’s been a couple years since I’ve done this and I’m out of practice,” said Marko, looking over his selection of brushes. Leo lat in his custom hyper-pregnancy recliner, designed to support his increased weight and girth, his shirt rolled up as he pumped. “Yeah and I’ve seen what you’ve done before hon, my hopes are SKY HIGH knowing you,” Leo said with a bubbly smile. Marko chuckled, “I’ve also never had this sort of canvas before,” Leo laughed giddily, “It’s a canvas that’s required the cooperation of 38 people to make, 39 if you count me!”

Marko stood up, having to stand on his tiptoes to peer over Leo’s belly and H cup breasts. “I think you’re forgetting who put those 38 in there!” he teased. Leo blushed, switching bottles to store more milk. As he’d grown ever more pregnant, pushing past the duration of a normal pregnancy, his milk had come in in spades to feed their growing brood, so the poor pregnant man had to pump regularly, or risk leaking on his rather expensive maternity tops.

Marko grabbed a large, wide brush, and squeezed a heap of white paint onto his palette, with so much area to cover, this piece was going to need a LOT of paint if he hoped to really utilize his canvas. He dipped his brush in the paint, and began applying it to the front of Leo’s pregnant belly. Leo squirmed and giggled, his sensitive skin tickled by the wet bristles. His giggling picking up as the brush ran over his hypersensitive bellybutton, causing Marko to grin. “This is going to be a long process if you’re that ticklish,” he chuckled. He got down on his knees and continued painting the base layer down to some of the power front of Leo’s titanic tummy.

Leo contained himself, “You get pregnant and let me paint YOUR tummy and then you tell me I’m being too ticklish! That skin is sensitive!” he teased. Marko shook his head with a smirk, “Imagine me being pregnant…” he paused. Imagine… “You’d look cute with a bump,” complimented Leo. He turned off his pumps and took them off, though his breasts still leaked slightly. He set the milk aside and pulled his shirt down, covering his chest.

Marko switched paints to a light blue to start on a sky line, wanting to do a forest panorama, thinking about the prospect. “Preggo marko… I mean I’d look cute as fuck but I’d miss my figure,” Leo snorted, “But you’d have a new figure! Round, like me!” Marko considered waddling around, looking like his husband. It was only a hypothetical concept, but not an unwelcome one. He looked up to see his husband’s shirt growing damp. “Uh, honey…” Leo looked down at himself, “Aw shit!” he quickly yanked up his top and put his pumps back on, trying to contain the mess. Marko got back to painting, he had a lot of belly ahead of him…

As time pressed on, Leo’s bottles of milk continued to fill, and his belly continued to be covered in paint. Marko was an impressive artist, and his practice allowed him to work relatively fast. Still, with so much midriff to cover, it took a good few hours to do. Front and center of the tummy pictured a large, sprawling lake, framed by tall pine trees, with snowy mountains looming in the background. Mossy rocks peppered the foreground, and cute, brightly colored birds were lovingly left in trees. The whole scene was based off of a place Marko had gone to with his family, camping in washington state. The cool taiga campground had always stuck with him, and now it was brought home, plastered across his husband’s massive belly of all places.

Leo had fallen sleep, relaxed from the subtle sensations of marko’s brush along his tightly stretched belly. He’d sat still for hours for this, and just languished in becoming a work of art. It was his idea, to have his tummy painted, and while he’d snoozed through half of it, the whole thing had been a fun experiment. At least now he could say he’d been part of a body art piece!

He woke to the sharp hiss of his husband swearing. Not loudly, but with passion. “Mmmmh, what’s wrong?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. Marko chuckled, “I was putting the finishing touches on this stump, and one of our kids kicked my brush, so now there’s a big brown blotch on it. That’s how it is when your canvas is alive I guess,” he shrugged, getting back to painting. Leo giggled to himself, “You could call it a happy little accident?” he snickered. Marko smiled and rolled his eyes sarcastically, “What? The paint blotch, or the kid who caused it?” he asked. “The blotch you goof! Only the first kid was an accident and the odds of THAT ONE kicking there are pretty slim!”

With one last stroke, he was done. He stood up and surveyed his work, the massive painting spanning the front hemisphere of Leo’s 38-full pregnant tummy. It was sprawling, and detailed, and beautiful, and he was quite pleased with it. “Man, I really did miss painting,” he said, mostly to himself. “Such a shame it’s all gonna get washed off here soon,” Leo pursed his lips in thought, “Maybe it’s an exercise in impermanence? Like… some bhuddist shit?”

Marko smiled, “Gimmie your phone, you goof. It has a better camera, and I want you to see this!” Leo smirked, and held out a small tube, produced from the table next to him. “You gotta sign your work first, silly!” Marko squinted at the tube, too short and wide to be a pen. “Is that… lipstick?” he asked. Leo nodded. “Sign it with a kiss! Like a love letter! Except that love letter is me!” Marko blushed, and sighed, and relented. “God you’re gay,” he chuckled. Leo cocked his head to the side and smiled, “For you,”

Marko blushed harder, and wordlessly navigated to the lower right corner of his masterpiece. He put on the lipstick, then got down on his hands and knees, leaned forward, and placed a deep, loving kiss on Leo’s belly, leaving a perfect smooch mark. Now it was Leo’s turn to blush. Marko got back up, and made bedroom eyes at his husband. “I have an idea of how we could kill our evening,” he said. Leo blushed harder now, “do tell?” he squeaked in anticipation. “I could kiss you until all of this lipstick wears off, then help you to the shower and wash all this paint off… then I could…” Leo beamed, “You could make me MORE pregnant!?” Marko bit his lip and ran his hand through his black undercut. “If you’d like to?” “I would LOVE to!”

...And so they did.

5 months later

“Well, you’ve exceeded my expectations in quantity, but everyone in there is healthy as can be!” said Leo’s midwife, as she slowly ran the ultrasound wand over his expansive belly. Marko sat next to Leo, holding his hand tenderly. “I’m proud of my big man, he’s kept everyone so safe and healthy for two years at this point,” Leo squeezed his hand in response to the praise. The midwife’s eyes grew large. “You’re two years pregnant?” she asked. Leo nodded, “24 months today!” he chirped. The midwife nodded, “Explains why everyone is so big and strong...” she trailed off. “How many is ‘everyone’ by now?” Leo asked. The midwife stayed silent for a spell before answering. “I’ve been trying to figure that out… there are so many heartbeats my equipment cant differentiate between them all… my midrange estimation is… probably 50,” she finally landed. “Fifty!?” Marko and Leo exclaimed in unison. The medical professional nodded, “that’s not an exact number, but… there’s at least 48 guaranteed in there, and judging by the volume of the measurements I took, you have enough volume in your frankly amazing womb for 52, so I’d average it at 50,” she pulled back the wand and turned off her portable doppler.

Marko’s eyes sparkled at the news. How he’d managed to put fifty babies into his husband. Leo held his K cup tits in his hands, and for the first time wondered if he’d be able to feed them all. The midwife’s watch beeped and she hissed, “This is so unprofessional, but, Marko, can I leave the wiping off of ultrasound jelly to you? I have another appointment that I’m already late for!” she said. Marko nodded eagerly, “Sure thing Miss Thorne! I’ll take care of it!” Miss Thorne nodded and closed up her equipment. She walked around Leo’s belly and shook his hand. “If anything changes, you have my number. Just… please don’t call past 2 am,” she sighed. Leo gently met her handshake and smiled, “Wouldn’t dream of it,” Miss Thorne nodded again and turned to leave, “Duty calls gentlemen, take care!” she said before closing the door behind her.

Marko leaned in and kissed Leo with reinvigorated passion. “Babe, we’re gonna be the dads of 50 babies!” he placed his hand on Leo’s tummy, feeling the near rock-hard firmness of it. “And I’ll be able to walk again!” said Leo, who had been too big to pass through standard doorways for the last 9 months. Marko stepped back and surveyed Leo, really taking in his size. The oblong mass of Leo’s tummy was, at this point, the tallest part of him, and the widest by a huge margin. He’d been well and truly immobile for a while now, the weight of his womb passing 450 lbs. It wasn’t all baby and amniotic fluid either, he’d put on a fair bit of baby weight thanks to his increased appetite.

He had subtle rolls on the side of his torso, and his hips had widened substantially to make room for his brood to pass through, though they were wrapped in their own lovely layer of pudge. His butt and thighs themselves were visibly wider, and even his arms were softer to the touch. His breasts were, in all honesty, enormous in their own right, each one comparable to a pregnant belly itself, but despite this, nothing drew peoples attention, and Marko’s attraction, more than that planetary belly.

Hard to the touch, smooth, pale, shiny, and well and truly massive, Marko had compared it in his own mind to a small car. He definitely would fit inside with room to move around, that’s for sure. Marko USED to be the taller of the two, but with Leo’s belly bloated with presumably 50 babies, maybe more, he’d overtaken Marko’s height in a rather unorthodox way. The room was as dominated by midriff as Leos’ own body, and the pair had joked that they’d have to start knocking down walls if he got any more pregnant.

Marko grabbed a nearby towel and started working to wipe off the ample ultrasound jelly left on Leo’s exposed skin. He moved slowly and methodically, enjoying the belly while he could. He knew that the time would soon come for Leo to deliver, and their place would be bustling with newborns and nannies. He was excited to be a dad soon, but he would miss this. He felt Leo’s skin tense, and heard the poor man grunt in discomfort, and realized that maybe that time would come sooner than later.

“Should I call the doctor?” Marko asked, peeking around Leo’s gravidity to see him silently nodding. Leo’s contractions had been ever so slowly manifesting, and with his body readying itself for childbirth, the two knew it’d be best to have professionals on call sooner than later. Marko gently patted the side of Leo’s tightening belly, and pulled out his phone. It seems after two years, the time had come.

Three weeks later

Leo and Marko’s household had indeed become a bustling scene. After a successful, if very long, birthing process, they had welcomed all 50 healthy children into the world, 31 girls and 19 boys. Among the sea of singletons was three sets of identical twins, a set of triplets, and even a set of identical quadruplet boys. “They’re going to be a troublesome crew when they’re older,” Marko had joked. They took turns between sleeping, feeding, changing, and playing with their kids, making sure to spend time with all of them. Thankfully Leo’s body kept milk production to its max, so everyone stayed fed, but it took a crew of almost 20 nannies around the clock to keep everyone happy.

Still, the pair sat together, Leo breastfeeding and Marko bottle feeding two at a time each, falling into a rhythm of sorts. “Hey honey?” asked Marko. “Hmm?” replied Leo, a pair of three week old girls in his arms. “I’m proud of you,” Leo smiled, looking at his husband. “You helped me through it, it was a team effort,” he said. The couple sat in companionable silence, taking time to revel in how cute their kids were. Marko chuckled, “what?” asked Leo. Marko shook his head, “It’s stupid but… I’m just curious…” he paused. “Would you ever want to do this again?”

#commissions #writing #not bellies #anonymous

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utterlyinevitable · 4 years ago

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After seeing ur explanation for that anon i really want to see a fic or a hc of ethan as a dad and becca as mom can u please do it??

omg okay ahhh my babys having babies. this is gonna be long and idk if it’ll make sense bc imma jot down everything i know about domestic e&b.

[just finished and... this is long and broken down into 6 categories........... enjoy!]

Ethan & Becca as Parents

The Pregnancy

They didn’t plan on having children, it just kind of happened. Becca and Ethan took a day for the news to settle before they jumped into excited, expecting parents mode.

The most exciting part was renovating the condo to make the most perfect nursery and shopping for decorations and mentally planning all the traditions and things they’d love to give to their little family.

All of the happiness couldn’t mask the struggles of pregnancy.

Becca hated being pregnant. She was sick and nauseous constantly, and her back and feet always ached.

Throughout the whole thing Ethan doted on her; holding her hair back and learning how to tie it up in the way she likes, rubbing her back, running out to get whatever she was craving.

He even made copious amounts of notes about her eating patterns. Enough to keep two of everything in the condo.

If she was having a restless night, he would too; even if she was restless for non-human-growing reasons.

They were in this together.

And even when she was huddled over a garbage pail, dribble running down her chin, she never looked more beautiful to him.

There was just something about all this that made him feel all weird and fuzzy inside.

When her symptoms barely settled throughout the second trimester she overhauled her entire birthing plan. There was no way she was making it to 42 weeks. She was absolutely miserable. So she made a c-section appointment for 40 weeks.

She had an entire argument with Ethan one evening (she really was only yelling while he nodded his head). Her main points were: “It’s my body and the baby will be fine. I was born 6 weeks early and I turned out fantastic!” and “Once the baby’s out of me I’m still going to have to pee. Omg what if she rips me open!? How am I supposed to use the bathroom without worrying about my stitches?”

All he kept reiterating was: “I love you. I trust you and your instincts.”

Becca felt better as he held her face in his large hands, his calming azure eyes boring into hers and letting her know everything will be alight.

But deep down she spent the next few weeks since making the appointment wondering if she should have given vaginal birth a try. She didn’t want Ethan to resent her for chickening out of her body’s natural function.

The Birth

Becca made it to her c-section appointment. Happily rubbing her large belly and glowing: “I can’t wait to not be pregnant anymore! Never do this to me again.”

All Ethan did was chuckle.

He was happy she was getting color back and that her symptoms finally settled enough for her to spend the last few weeks enjoying their daughters kicks. But oh my god was Ethan Ramsey terrified of being a father.

He wouldn’t tell Becca though. She was emotional and worried enough as is. Any and all his concerns were saved for the short conversations he had with his father. “Don’t overthink it, son. The moment you lay eyes on your daughter you’ll know what to do. It’s instinct. Biology. That was your best subject in school, wasn’t it?” Alan would joke.

The surgery went off without a hitch.

All of Becca’s hatred for the phenomenon of pregnancy vanished the second the nurse placed their daughter on her chest.

Rebecca was in awe. She made that! This little person came out of her! This little pink person that looks like a plucked chicken with a tiny tuft of brown hair was here and she was beautiful. The perfect combination of her and Ethan.

The embodiment of their love.

Dakota Dolores Ramsey was completely unplanned. Unplanned but not unwanted.

The first time Ethan Ramsey held his daughter time froze. The universe needed a minute to process the broad grin and full heart thumping rapidly from this stoic and reserved man.

The earth was about to spin the wrong way but then Dakota opened her eyes.

Everything was the way divinity had planned it.

At Home

Although Ethan and Becca lived a 10 minutes drive from Edenbrook, nearly a straight run, Becca forced him to drive as slow as possible.

Dakota was asleep and she needed to keep it that way.

Due to her stitches, Becca was forced to take things easy. No matter how many times she argued with Ethan that she was capable of menial tasks around the house.

Ethan would not let her lift a finger.

If Dakota needed a change he’d happily do it. if Becca was hungry he’d make her favorite.

“You had her to yourself for nine months. Let me take the next few days.” Becca went to retort, all she wanted was to hold her baby for the rest of eternity. She’d never tire of looking at her scrunched up potato face and watching as her features changed every moment of every day. “I promise to share.” “You better,” she kissed him as he tucked her into bed for a much needed nap.

The only thing he was forced to share with his partner was feeding duty - Becca was adamant on breast feeding. A bottle would not touch their daughters lips for months to come.

That in itself brought its own challenges.

Most nights Ethan laid in bed with Becca curled up at his side in one arm and Dakota resting on his bare chest.

Parenting was weird, but an exhilarating change.

Ethan couldn’t diagnose what he could have possibly have done right in his life to be this wholly happy.

The Second

Once Ethan and Becca had one child they were both itching for a second.

“You know what say: ‘if you have one you have to have two’.” “Is that so?” “You don’t want Dakota to have a sibling?” “I was an only child and look how I turned out.” “Emotionally stunted and certified loner?” she teased.

Truth be told, Ethan wanted another. He’s been thinking of giving his pride and joy a few siblings for weeks now. He just didn’t know how to tell Becca.

Becca complained frequently about how happy she was to not be pregnant, and often about how her scar healed funnily.

All of the signs pointed to her not wanting another. And Ethan was okay with that. He never expected to have one child. He’d cherish every moment of what’s been placed right in his fingertips.

He’ll let his soon-to-be wife choose their path. She’s dictated everything else thus far. Ethan was elated she chose him to be along for the ride.

After Dakota’s first birthday, when they made the decision to have another, they tried desperately to conceive.

“I really don’t want to have to deal with diapers for five years,” was Becca’s main reason for keeping the kids close in age. “We can try surrogacy.” Ethan offered, knowing how much she hated pregnancy. He didn’t want to push her into anything. “No. I have to do it. I’ll do it for our kids. But you owe me big time.”

And 14 months later Caroline Marie Ramsey made her grand appearance.

And Becca got her first push present.

The Last

It’s fitting that four years later Ethan and Becca were blessed with another surprise.

Her pregnancy with James Jonah was the smoothest of them all.

Of course that meant something had to go wrong.

At 34 weeks Becca went into premature vaginal labor.

Within six hours their baby boy arrived. 5lbs 2oz and looking like an alien.

Ethan almost lost them both after the fact.

Becca lost too much blood with the placenta and JJ was so tiny.

But the Lao’s were fighters and they pulled through. Ethan cried at her bedside once the harrowing 24 hours were up.

Becca stayed at the hospital for a week, Ethan and Alan bringing the girls to visit every single day.

JJ had to stay a few days longer and Becca refused to leave until she could bring her son home.

She went through her first experience with postpartum depression. Becca didn’t think anything could be worse than the mental toll her abortion had on her years earlier. But she was wrong.

She was so wrong.

All their friends chipped in to help take care of the kids while Ethan devoted his time to helping his wife. The couple went to therapy, sometimes together, other times Ethan sat in the waiting room as Becca worked through her emotions.

Months later, the parents were sitting at home. Ethan held their son and their daughters were curled on their laps: He muttered into his wife’s hair, “I’d like to have one more.” “Not with me you’re not,” she scoffed. “We’re outnumbered as is.”

JJ began to cry and the girls stirred. Dakota mumbling, “Tell the baby to shut up, I’m sleeping here.”

They couldn’t help but laugh and pull apart to put their whole world to bed.

Old and graying and spending more time at home with his kids, Ethan wanted just one more baby. Four was a strong, even number. He could have a whole daycare full of them - each one the best variations of him and Becca.

Becca had spent a large portion of her 30s childrearing and she’s done. Done with diapers and formula, especially. She loves her children more than anything but they’re exhausting. She can’t wait for them to be in school full time and she can have some more alone time with her husband. It’s been so long since it’s been just them too.

“Don’t hate me...” “I could never hate you,” Ethan said as he brushed a few strands of hair from his wife’s face. She swallowed and confidently said, “I want you to get a vasectomy.”

He agreed without further consideration. She made a very compelling argument.

Parenting

Ethan is the doting helicopter dad and Becca is doctor drill sergeant. The kids get away with nothing under their mother’s watch.

Ethan is very soft and adores his children. The grumpy attending could have a whole gaggle of them. He spoils his daughters rotten, picking up the newest doll and toy they’re obsessed with, and making them promise not to tell mommy.

The women in Ethan’s life get away with everything and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

When the girls were born, Ethan stepped back at work letting the better Dr. Ramsey have her career defining moments.

He took half days to pick the girls up from preschool and would bring them to the park or museums. He’d even try to teach them to cook their favorite recipes on cold, rainy days. He’d tire them out so that he and mom could tuck them in after dinner.

Ethan’s afraid of his son. He’s afraid the tot is going to turn out exactly like him - he’s the spitting image, except that his hair curls like his mother’s.

Instead of putting JJ in fulltime daycare, Ethan chose part time preschool. The girls were in primary school now and he’s taken a bigger step back from the hospital after the baby was born.

He devotes all his free time to teaching his son about all he knows and learning all he doesn’t.

Becca complains about the state of her vagina and stomach all the time. Never in front of the children but often enough Ethan knows the look on her face right before she says the same two lines.

Her favorite activity is building forts and taking the kids to the beach.

The holidays have never felt more alive with the full house. Ethan even became a Christmas and Valentines Day lover.

Becca loved watching him change over the years. Every new first they celebrated with each child, every one of their kids passions, Ethan would adopt them all and make it his mission to be a connoisseur of every facet.

Dakota sat her parents down one day with a serious topic of conversation: “Mommy, Daddy. I’m going to be a fashion designer.” “Will you?” “Yes. And I need to dress myself.” “As long as it’s weather appropriate, consider it done.” “And we need to get supplies.”

The conversation went on for 15 minutes with Ethan and Becca asking questions and Dakota making demands. Once they’ve settled on an agreement on how to make their daughter’s dream happen, Ethan retired to his office. He taught himself the basics of sewing.

Even with all the struggles of raising three children in a suburb of Boston while balancing very demanding medical careers, Ethan and Becca wouldn’t have it any other way. The life they carved out of all their complications was worth it.

All of this was inevitable.

And they wouldn’t take a moment for granted.

________________________________________

Um... this became bigger than intended... If you made it this far, thank you ♥

Masterlist

Perma:

@rookiemarsswiftie @lucy-268 @binny1985 @thegreentwin @queencarb @danijimenezv @starrystarrytrouble e @terrm9 @interobanginyourmom @adrex04 @maurine07 @mercury84choices @schnitzelbutterfingers @theeccentricbibliophile @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @kaavyaethanramsey @mvalentine @rookie-ramsey @drariellevalentine @lifeaskim @otherworldlypresents @therookie @aylaramseycarrera @angela8754 @fireycookie @stateofgracious

Ethan:

@udishaman @honeyandsunfl0wers @hutchereverlark23 @ohchoices @dulceghernandez @blossomanarchy @claredal424 @caseyvalentineramsey @rookieoh @openheartthot @senseofduties @lilyvalentine @tsrookie @kalogh @aworldoffandoms @takemyopenheart t @casey-v @ramseyandrys @peaceinmidstofchaos

#Anonymous #asked #this was a lot of word vomit #did not edit at all #don't let this flop #reblog for the 3 kids ethan and becca need to support #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart #open heart fanfic

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petri808 · 3 years ago

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Bakudeku canon divergent, vampire quirk AU

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

If he’d remembered the map’s, he’d checked out before coming correctly, the lake was less than a quarter mile beyond the tree line from where he stood in the clearing. There was a small farming village west of the lake, and it was maybe another couple miles next to the dam. Bakugou was certain that the authorities had canvased the town as well as surrounding areas, but if he was lucky, they’d missed something or someone that saw something that day that could aid in his search. Either way, it was another starting point.

After hiking to the nearest village, Bakugou sought out their small police station. The place maybe had two officers on duty per shift, and three shifts rounding out a day. For major cases, detectives were brought in from the next larger city. It was the epitome of small and very common in the more rural areas of Japan. Because of his notoriety, the authorities knew who he was, but luckily had no idea that he wasn’t a part of the task force.

“I’m doing follow ups,” he did his best to sound official and reign in his temper. “Making sure that no one reported seeing the hero called Deku?” The officer shook his head. “So, no strange events from April twenty-seventh?”

“Strange? Not on that date, but the next day, there was an attack on a citizen. They claimed that they were ambushed late in the evening but could not give any description. The man is a known drunkard and we assumed he was intoxicated and hallucinating until we saw the marks on his arms.”

“Like scratches?”

“No, they looked like an animal bit him. He swore he hadn’t been drinking, but when we made contact, he was still slurring his words and out of it as if he was.”

‘Not very strange but okay,’ Bakugou made a mental note. “Anything else?”

“Two days after that, a woman reported seeing an unusual green streak in the sky.”

Green?! That peaked Bakugou’s interest. “What direction was it going in?”

The man shrugged, “we didn’t ask because we assumed that she just saw a meteor or something going through the atmosphere.”

“Ugh!” he palmed his face. “I need to speak with her immediately. That could be a clue.” Bakugou proverbially rolled his eyes at the thought. ‘Bet the pro searchers didn’t think to ask these kinds of questions.’ Of course, if all you ask is a closed ended, ‘did you see x’ kind of question you’ll only get a yes or no answer. If Midoriya was on the run, he would be a fool to show himself so easily to citizens. So, the clues would lay in the minor details.

“Certainly,” the desk sergeant responded. “I will have an officer take you to her home.”

It was nice not having to walk or use his quirk unnecessarily. A patrol officer drove him to the edge of the town where the woman lived in a small cottage on her farming property. The home was a half mile from the main town and without streetlights, the night would be much darker with a better vantage point to see any phenomena in the sky. While the officer waited in the car with the hero’s belongings, Bakugou knocked on the woman’s door. When she answered, he introduced himself and asked her to tell him any details she could recall from the night of the green streak.

According to the older farmer woman, the light appeared to have originated from the forest bordering her farm and headed in an easterly direction. She pointed in the direction and Bakugou surmised it could be in the direction of Tokyo, but it was too general to know for sure.

“But how do you know it wasn’t a meteor or something naturally occurring?” Bakugou questioned the woman.

She smiled, “Young man, I have seen many in my lifetime and they always travel at a steady pace against the horizon. This one started off slower then sped up. In fact, right before it would have been over the town, it’s speed increased and moved so fast it disappeared in the blink of an eye.”

As if ‘it’ worried about being seen by the townsfolk, Bakugou realized. “And ma’am, are you sure it was a green colored light?”

Again, she nodded and smiled, “like a copper fire streaking through the sky.”

It took a moment for Bakugou to realize what the woman meant. Copper produced a greenish flame when burned, and green was also the color of Midoriyas quirk.

“One last question,” Bakugou asked. “Is there anything else you can think of, or anything in the area you saw the light coming from such as abandoned buildings, any cave systems, or maybe strange animal activity around that time?”

“Why yes! There’s an old abandoned mine in that part of the forest. There are probably still tunnels. My grandfather once worked them until it was closed down.”

Bakugou thanked the woman for her information and told the officer to wait for him while he checked out the mine, but the officer explained he needed to get back to town.

“I can come back around dark once I finish work and pick you up,” the man offered. “That would give you about four hours to do what you gave to do.”

“Yeah, that’ll work. Can you hold onto my stuff?”

“Sure, I’ll just take it to the station.”

“Perfect.” Bakugou agreed. He’ll probably need to stay the night anyway before moving on.

Once the patrol officer was gone, the hero blasted his way towards the forest in the direction the woman had provided to him. She’d told him that the area might be overgrown in many places, but the last time she’d been there, she remembered an old utility shed still standing. And sure, enough the growth was quite dense with little snippets of human structures peeking through the brush. Bakugou first found the entrance to the mine shaft but saw no evidence of activity such as disturbances in the dirt, no footprints, or signs of a campfire, anything that would suggest a human had been using it as a shelter. Next, he moved onto the shed the woman told him about and saw that the structure was still standing. Not surprising from what he could see of the material. Red pine was a strong type of wood resistant to mold, suitable for this kind of environment.

That’s where he saw the first glimpses of activity. Bakugou knelt and touched the recently disturbed earth in front of the shed’s door. Despite being around a month old, the dense tree canopy had protected the footprints and scuff marks from washing away. He moved into the small structure itself, gauging it was approximately eight feet wide by 10 feet deep. The walls were lined with broken shelves, some still holding a myriad of rotting, rusting tools, or other junk left behind. Nothing of real use, even if…

Bakugou’s eyes fall onto a jumbled pile of rags left on a shelf near the entrance. The lighting was poor, but when he got closer, he saw the red spots of dried blood. His breathing slowed, could it be? “Were you injured Deku?” He mumbled to himself as he picked up and turned the rags over in his hands to inspect them. It wasn’t a lot of blood, couldn’t have been very life-threatening injuries, but still, seeing the evidence made his blood boil. “Reckless idiot!” Bakugou screamed. “Where the fuck are you?!”

Of course, there was no way for him to confirm the blood was Midoriya’s and not some passing vagrant in the area. So, he kept searching the ruins of the building. If his friend had sheltered there, maybe he’d left something else behind, just a trace to confirm it was in fact Deku. He found a small burned-out area on the ground with remnants of a fire, including animal bones perhaps from a meal? There were other disturbances on the dirty shelves from a previous person rummaging around the left-over junk, but nothing more. Talk about frustrating!

No, wait… Bakugou zeroed in on a tiny scrap of fabric partially obscured by a shelf as if it had fallen and been pushed underneath by accident. It was only a quarter-size of his palm, and the torn piece of fabric wasn’t discolored which meant it hadn’t been there long. ‘This looks like a piece of his uniform,’ Bakugou surmised. It matched the green color Midoriya wore. Now he had a torn fabric the same color of Deku’s uniform, the green streak seen in the sky shortly after the battle, and the recent blood on rags. Circumstantially, it was good enough to convince Bakugou that this had been his friend and the man really was still alive and on the run.

“See!” Bakugou raged to himself in that empty forest. “Stupid idiots! I should’ve been out here looking sooner not them! Who else would know Deku better than me?!” ‘Tch,’ those fools in the task force didn’t know anything considering the woman told him no one else had talked to her before him. What took him less than a day to find, was more evidence than the authorities had found in a whole month of searching!

Originally, Bakugou had planned to stay in the area, but if he believed this promising information, Midoriya was heading back east. ‘Hopefully back home.’ Three weeks had passed since this woman’s claim of a green streak, so either Midoriya hadn’t arrived back in Shizuoka, or he was still hiding out somewhere. Either way this was promising; something better than nothing at all. So, he took the officer up on the offer to stay the night at a small inn they hooked him up with, but bright and early the next morning Bakugou caught the bus out of town heading in the direction the woman provided. ‘I’m coming Deku…’

#bakudeku #bakudeku fan fic #bkdk #bakudeku fan fiction #katsudeku #ktdk #decchan #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku canon divergent au #vampire quirk #ch 4 #bloody passion #petri808

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chloelucia13 · 4 years ago

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Chapter 2: Made of Storms

Pairing: Spencer Reid x female reader

Prompt: Their relationship seemed to be perfect, but after Spencer began acting odd, that perfect relationship seemed to fall apart. And when you find out why, you wish you never did. Based off the song “Forever and Always” by Taylor Swift

Warnings: this is just angst guys, there might be like a pinch of fluff, some language, it’s just sad I’m sorry (memories are in italics)

Word Count: 2487

A/N: Here’s the second chapter! I hope you all enjoy! As always, requests and taglists are open!

Read chapter one here!

Tags: @sojournmichael

Why did that Tuesday happen?

You used to ask yourself that question because you couldn’t understand how you had gotten so lucky to find a man like him.

Now that question rings in your mind every time he ignores you, every time you’re left alone in your apartment.

That seemed to be every night lately, you sat on your couch wearing one of his college sweatshirts and tear stains lingering on your cheeks.

But tonight was one of the first nights you had spent out of that suffocating apartment, instead being dragged along with the girls to some karaoke bar.

However, your activities didn’t really seem to change. You still sat, wallowing in your own pity with a beer in your hand that you barely touched. You weren’t alone, but you still felt so alone.

“I think he hates me,” you blurted out, a crease forming between your brows.

The girls halted their conversation, all of them turning to you. “Who? Spencer?” JJ questioned, reaching out to rest her hand atop yours.

You nodded. “I... I can’t remember the last time he told me he loved me. Hell, I can’t remember the last time we even spoke to each other.”

“Y/N, I don’t think it’s possible for him to hate you,” Alex interrupted. “Maybe he’s just been busy lately.”

Again you nodded, rubbing a palm against your eyelid. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” You let out a sigh. “I-I’m really sorry for that. I didn’t mean to make you all upset.”

“Hey, hey, you don’t need to apologize. We’re friends, your problems are our problems too.”

A weak smile pressed onto your lips. “Thanks. I should probably get going though. I’ve got an early morning tomorrow. I have some paperwork I need to get done.”

“Are you sure?” Penelope urged. “Can’t you stay for another hour?”

You let out a chuckle, squeezing her shoulder as you stood up. “I’m sure, Pen. I’m really sorry. You all have a good night. Make sure to sing a Bowie song for me.”

As you began to step away, JJ caught your hand in hers. “Y/N, you know you can talk to us about anything right?”

You nodded, squeezing her hand slightly. “Of course, Jay.”

“Alright. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

God, why did those words feel so foreign on your tongue?

Darkness used to be so sweet then. Then, you knew that even if you couldn’t see him, he was still there.

“Why are you still awake?” His breath fanned against the back of your neck, his lips so close you could almost feel them on your skin.

You turned in his arms so you were facing him, your nose brushing barely against his. “I just can’t sleep, I guess,” you hummed, letting your eyes search his. “Why are you still awake, mister?”

He scoffed playfully, nudging your nose with his before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, anything. What’s up?”

He licked his lips, eyes boring into yours. “I love you.”

You smiled, cupping his cheek. “I love you too.”

Tears were swimming in your eyes when you parked in the parking lot, making the trek to your apartment with shallow breaths.

In a rush of jingling keys and shaking hands, you managed to make it into your apartment and close the door behind you before the tears began to flow down your cheeks. Sobs wracked your body as you sunk down onto the couch, burying your face in your hands.

“Y/N?”

You sniffled, quickly wiping the tears and snot off your face before looking up to see Spencer standing in the doorway of your room- no, the room you two shared.

He stepped over to you, hesitantly holding a hand out. “Are you okay?”

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were home,” you rushed out, bowing your head and avoiding his eyes.

“I...I just needed to grab a few things. I need to run back to the office.”

You nodded, pushing yourself to your feet. “Of course you do,” you whispered, shrugging off your coat and hanging it on the coat rack.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You know I’ve been busy lately.”

“Of course. Sorry.” Your tongue darted out between your lips and you risked a glance up at him.

“What’s going on?”

You scoffed, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what I did, Spence. We... We used to be so close. We used to fall asleep in the same bed. We used to talk to each other. Now I just feel like we’re strangers, and I feel so alone. I... I don’t even feel welcome here anymore.”

“Y/N-”

“And when was the last time you called me a pet name? You used to never say my name. You’d call me love, darling, baby. I miss that. I miss you.” You sucked in a deep breath, stepping close to him and resting your hand on his forearm. “What happened?”

He shook his head, his brow furrowing in anguish as he searched your eyes. “Nothing happened. I’ve just been busy. And tired. And my headaches...”

“I thought you were getting help for them?”

“I am, it’s just...” He sighed, taking your hand in his. “Listen, I’ll call off early tomorrow and we’ll have dinner like we used to. I promise.”

You gulped, catching your lip between your teeth as you searched his eyes. “Pinky promise?”

He grinned, interlocking his pinky finger with yours before pressing a rushed kiss to your forehead. “Pinky promise. I really do have to get going. I’ll be back later tonight, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He hurried past you, gathering his satchel before stepping over to the front door.

“Spence?” you voiced, stopping him halfway out the door. “I love you.”

He nodded. “You too.”

And he left you all alone.

***

Dinner was getting cold.

Your boss had let you get off early so you could rush home and prepare a homemade meal, something you hadn’t done in so long.

You had even gotten dressed up, wearing a dark green velvet dress that you wore for your six month anniversary with Spencer. Your hair and makeup were done, and you were unable to ignore the nagging fact that you hadn’t gotten done up like this in months.

At six you had everything prepared, the table set with two plates of pasta that JJ managed to wrestle the recipe out of Rossi for you.

You checked your phone at 6:09, 6:24, 6:47, 7:13, and 7:21. He still had yet to show up, and your phone was void of any calls or messages from him.

The first bottle of red wine had already been drained, and you had just uncorked the second bottle when you heard your phone chime. You rushed over to it, your heart racing with excitement like it had on your first few dates you had with Spencer.

How’s everything going? Should I bring over some brownies? Maybe some condoms? -Penelope

You sighed, blinking away the tears as you typed back a response.

He didn’t show. I thought he was still at the office. Those brownies would be greatly appreciated, though :( -Y/N

He was one of the first to leave today. I’m really sorry, babe :( If he doesn’t show in thirty minutes I’m coming over with those brownies and some chick flicks -Penelope

Thanks, Pen. Love you -Y/N

You shut your phone off and leaned back against your counter, letting out a sigh of defeat.

Everything used to be so perfect. Even during the darkest of times, you still had each other. You still loved each other.

You still love him, you don’t think you could ever stop. It’s just that you felt so numb now. You felt nothing. It was miserable.

Even when he was home, it wasn’t for long, or he ignored you altogether. your bedroom was silent as you two would lay there together, but still worlds apart.

The pain was heavy like rainfall, drenching you down to your bones. It was storming when he was there, so close yet so far, and it poured when he was gone, leaving you alone with your thoughts and doubts.

Either way, you laid there shivering, hoping for someone to come and take you to safety, to get you dry and keep you warm.

At 7:53, the doorknob to your front door turned before the door swung open, revealing a very flustered Spencer. “I’m so sorry, I-I had a late night at the office and I had to finish a lot of paperwork-”he rushed out.

“Penelope told me that you left before everyone else,” you sighed, sipping wine from the bottle. “Why are you lying to me?”

“Y/N, I’m not lying. I just took all my paperwork to the library.”

You scoffed, pushing yourself to your feet and finally taking your hair out of the loose bun that you spent 15 minutes on. “I don’t know what I did to push you away. Did... Did I say something?”

“You didn’t do anything, Y/N. I told you that.” He stepped over to you, taking both of your hands in his.

“Then what did you do?” You looked him in the eye, letting him see the pure agony that marred your features.

And you watched the fear fill his eyes when you spoke those three words.

“Who is she?”

That fear left as soon as it came, and he just looked... gone. He looked completely unfamiliar, someone you never truly knew.

His lips parted, and you already felt the pain tear through your gut before he could even get the words out of his mouth.

“Her name is Maeve.”

And in that moment, the way her name moved along his tongue, you knew that you no longer meant anything to him.

“Of course,” you whispered, taking a step away from him. “Of course her name is fucking Maeve. A pretty name for a pretty girl.”

“Y/N, don’t be mad at her-” “Mad at her? Mad at her?” You laughed incredulously, your eyebrows rising from the shock of it all. “Oh, don’t you dare turn this on her. I bet she doesn’t even know I exist! Does she Spencer? Does she know that you already have a girlfriend?”

He shook his head, pursing his lips. “Listen, I’m really sorry-”

“And now you’re gonna apologize? God, this is fucking bullshit!” You turned on your heel, pacing for a moment before stopping and turning back to face him. “You didn’t mean any of it, did you? You didn’t mean anything you said to me. None of the ‘I love you’s, none of the ‘I’ll never leave you’s, none of the ‘forever and always’s?”

“Y/N-”

“You said that to me! You said that you would always love me! You said that we’d be together for and always! You said that to me!” You sniffled, scrubbing away the tears on your cheeks. “You didn’t mean it.”

“Y/N, listen to me!” he shouted, making you freeze in place. “I love you. I still love you. I just...”

“You just love her more than me?” Your voice was weak now, all the fight leaving your body. “She’s just better than me in every way possible? Is that it?”

Tears fell from his own eyes, silver streaks dampening his cheeks as he stared helplessly at you. A wounded puppy. “I’m so sorry.”

“Did...” You sniffled, wrapping your arms around your middle to hold yourself. “Did you forget everything that we had? Did you forget all the times I held you when you cried, all the times I consoled you after you had nightmares? Did you forget... Did you forget that we were supposed to be together until the end of time? Until the earth crashes into the fucking sun and we all burn away? Or did I burn away from you already? Am I just ash to you? The remnants of something you used to love?”

A sob fell from his lips and it took everything in you to take your words back, to rush over to him and hold him and tell him that everything was okay.

“You’re an amazing woman, the best woman anyone could ever have. I just... I don’t deserve you. I’m sorry.” He stepped towards you, and you took a step back to counter him. Another step forward, and another step backward.

“Back up, Spencer,” you whispered, begging. “Please, just get away from me.”

“Y/N-” “Get the fuck away from me! Get out!”

He did as you said, stepping back with a look of pure anguish settled on his face. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I said get out.”

He nodded, not wanting to push you any further. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He left, his head hung, and he closed the door behind him.

Sweet golden sunshine flooded in through the gaps of the curtains, and a small huff fell from your lips as it flitted across your face.

“Spence,” you whispered, nudging the sleeping form next to you. “Spence, I think we slept in.”

“Five more minutes,” he grumbled, pulling his arm out from under his head and wrapping it around your waist, bringing you back in his embrace.

“Spence, it’s been more than five minutes. Hotch is gonna have an aneurism if you’re late again, and my boss has probably already called like five times.” You reluctantly pushed his arm off of you so you could roll out of bed, scrambling to find an outfit to wear for the day.

He groaned, mumbling a few words of dissatisfaction before eventually getting up and getting ready himself.

“Love?” he voiced from the other side of the room, fastening his tie.

“Yeah?” you hummed in response, turning to face him. “What’s up?”

“I...” He huffed, shaking his head. “Nothing. Sorry.”

“Spencer.” You walked over to him, resting your hands on his shoulders as you searched his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I just... I’m scared I’m gonna lose you.”

A small frown letting on your lips, and you settled one hand on his cheek. “What makes you think that?”

He shrugged. “My job is dangerous. I-I don’t know if one day the unsub will just find you and kill you, or torture you, or do anything to you, just to get to me.” He pursed his lips, trying to blink away the tears. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. I couldn’t live with myself.”

“As long as I’m with you, nothing’s gonna happen to me. I trust you, and I know that you can save me from whatever happens. You’re not gonna get rid of me that easy.” You pressed a kiss to his lips before patting his cheek. “I’m gonna be here forever and always, baby.”

“Forever and always.”

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awesomelyanxiouspanda · 4 years ago

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I'm a Murderer, Not a Monster (Billy Loomis/OFC/Stu Macher) Part 1

This is a repost since I deleted my old Tumblr!

Summary:

In this AU, Stu and Billy were never caught or killed. Their plan went off without a hitch, and once it was done, they hung up their knives. On the anniversary of Sidney’s death, they were forced to murder again to protect their cover; Tie up loose ends and save themselves from death row for good. Only problem is that the murders were spur of the moment and they have no alibi. On the fly, they choose a house at random and hope for the best. Which leads us up to now!

Author’s notes:

-I had a dream and it inspired this little thing. In this AU, Stu and Billy were never caught or killed. Their plan went off without a hitch, and once it was done, they hung up their knives. On the anniversary of Sidney’s death, they were forced to murder again to protect their cover; Tie up loose ends and save themselves from death row for good. Only problem is that the murders were spur of the moment and they have no alibi. On the fly, they choose a house at random and hope for the best. Which leads us up to now!

-AU takes place in a weird time convergence. Basically the timeline is made up and the worlds don’t matter.

-I’m a fool for bad boys who are soft just for a few specific people, so Billy and Stu will be a bit OOC here. If that’s not your cup of tea, this is your warning.

-Relevant facts: Billy and Stu are both 19-20ish now. Ginger the OFC is 24 and Poppy is 6.

-Ginger’s appearance is rather general but she is short and chubby because there is not enough plus-size character love in fics.

-I had to split this into two parts. This one is SFW, just cursing and mentions of murder. Part two will be NSFW smut!

~“I’m a murderer, not a monster. I don’t kill kids, and what life would a kid have without their mom, hmm?”~

Billy’s words played over and over in my head while I stood, trembling, at the kitchen counter with my hot coffee mug in hand as I sipped at the sweet caffeine for support. I had to put on a strong front. I know he said he wouldn’t kill us but that wasn’t very comforting when there were two serial killers sitting at the table with my daughter; All three eating pancakes like there wasn’t a care in the world.

“Thanks mama. I’m gonna go brush my teeth for school,” Poppy said, pushing out her chair as she collected her plate.

“Alright sweetie. Don’t forget to wash your face after,” I called to her.

She nodded in agreement as she trotted off, ponytail swinging joyfully behind her.

With her bountiful energy out of the room, I let my shoulders sag and swallowed hard. Fear and uncertainty were tearing up my stomach and making it hard to breathe.

“You can relax, doll. We’re not going to hurt you, and especially not her,” Stu commented, shoving the last bite of his pancakes in his mouth, “We’re not that kind of people.”

I cringed slightly at the way he spoke with his mouth full and gaping, but didn’t dare comment on it. Who would correct a murderer on his table manners?

“I know you said that but it’s just…. I’m terrified honestly. I don’t trust anyone in my home, around my kid, other than family and now there are two strange men staying here,” I explained quietly, keeping my tone as docile as possible.

Billy rose silently from his chair and immediately I tensed up as his dark eyes landed on me. He wasn’t insanely tall like his partner but he was beyond intimidating as he marched over and stood only a few inches from me. Even though he was shorter, he still towered over me and my five foot frame. It suddenly felt like there was a lump in my throat that I just couldn’t swallow past.

“We won’t be in your hair longer than we have to be. As long as you keep your end of the deal, everything will go smoothly. You have my word that we wouldn’t touch a hair on that kids’ head no matter what, but if you were to try to start some shit-”

“I would never!” I cut him off immediately, heart racing and pounding hard at the threat, “Self preservation is my strongest suit next to doing anything to protect her.”

“Good, then he’s right. You can relax. You have nothing to worry about,” Billy finished with a nod.

A little grin came to his face and he raised his hand. Instinctively I flinched but somehow managed not to jerk away entirely. He patted my cheek gently with a little click of his tongue before going back to the table.

“Say, Ginger, you got any scary movies here?” Stu chimed in.

…

A week had come and gone, and then a second until more than a month had gone by. After almost two months of Stu and Billy hanging out off and on in my home, it was as if they weren’t even that infamous killer I’d heard so much about on the news. If I hadn’t woken up to the two of them over my bed in the Ghostface masks with blood soaked cloaks and knives, I might have never believed that they were. They were both so… normal. Although Billy obviously had some brooding and anger issues, he seemed to just be a regular, albeit gorgeous, guy with a chip on his shoulder; And Stu was absolutely adorable, funny, kind, and endearing. Together they made a hilarious duo; Billy’s dry humor and sarcasm pairing perfectly with Stu’s overzealous comedy. I was starting to LIKE having them there; it was a scary though.

They were both also surprisingly respectful of our home, of Poppy and my general distrust of men around her; Ensuring they were never in another room alone with her, even if it was just the kitchen or living room. I appreciated their tact. It was becoming easier to make myself almost believe the cover story they had come up with about us meeting in a bar and them passing out in my house on the night of the murders.

I was still in wonder of just how they had ended up here though. We were about an hour away from Woodsboro and in a decent but not extravagant area. Why us? Why this house?

“What’s wrong, doll? You look down?”

My cheeks heated under the pet name and I quickly tried to push away the butterflies it gave me when mixed with the curious look on Stu’s face. There was no way I could begin to acknowledge my stupid little crush on him without it making me feel weird. Although I’d started to feel friendship or possibly more toward them, there’s was nothing to say that they were doing more than keeping up the pretenses of our deal and ensuring I wouldn’t rat them out. Not to mention, my self-esteem told me that two men who were so beautiful would never be interested in a woman of my size and appearance, much less since I was almost four years older than them.

“No, not down, just thinking,” I explained, passing the popcorn bowl over to him.

He cocked his head to the side in obvious curiosity while he swiped some popcorn from the bowl.

“About?” Billy asked from the recliner across the room.

I shrugged but chose to be honest. I’d learned honesty was certainly the best policy with them.

“Why you came to this town when your hometown is an hour away. Why you chose this place of all places.”

Apparently that threw them both for a loop, Stu’s eyes darting to Billy while the other let mild-surprise run across his face.

“Well, I guess it was just fate. I’m pretty sure anyone else would have fought us by now and we’d have had to kill them. Which would have screwed up the whole plan, of course,” Billy vaguely explained.

I felt my curiosity pique at the mention of a plan and I hesitantly asked, “What is your long term plan?”

“A fresh start. Get away from all that shit that started this whole thing and try to do more with our lives,” Billy replied, eyes drifting back to the movie on the TV.

“It wasn’t like we planned on killing forever. Hell, we made it out for a whole fucking year before someone jeopardized our freedom,” Stu added in, “Had to do what needed to be done to keep people looking away from us though.”

He was obviously waiting for some kind of reply but I wasn’t sure what to say. Instead I gave him a shrug as I mulled over my thoughts.

“I can’t say I agree with, or understand, killing anyone to begin with, obviously, but I wasn’t in your situation either. That said, I CAN understand wanting a fresh start. That’s why Poppy and I moved here too; Away from a past life I no longer wanted a part of,” I responded after a while.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Billy asked.

I hesitantly met his powerful gaze before admitting, “I had to leave our old home for our safety. Let’s just say, there are worse things a person can do than end a life.”

The intensity in the room went up a level and I could almost feel both of them staring at my burning face, but I had already let out more than I wanted to. In this place, in my new world, no one knew of our past. They knew I was a single mom to a happy little girl, and that’s how I wanted to keep it. People’s opinions tended to change when they knew your dirty little secrets.

“Mama, are we still watching Rugrats tonight?” Poppy asked.

Her sudden appearance from the bedroom made me jolt and yelp in surprise. She grinned and stuck her tongue out at me, before clutching her tummy and letting out rolls of deep belly laughter.

“I scared you! I scared you! You scare so easy mommy!”

With a slight eyeroll of embarrassment, I waved away her hysterics before gesturing her over.

“Don’t make fun of me, butthead,” I teased, then added, “But yeah, as soon as Stu and Billy head out we’ll put on Rugrats.”

“Sounds like it’s time to skeedaddle, scoob,” Stu commented in a silly voice, “Gotta let the little princess get her movies in.”

Poppy grinned and nodded.

“Don’t forget, you promised to come back soon and play candyland with us,” Poppy reminded the two before climbing up onto the couch next to me.

“Yeah, yeah, pipsqueak,” Billy commented, unable to hide a little grin before he rose to his feet, “We’ll stop by again soon.”

I got up from the couch and walked them to the door out of habit, waiting until they were down the sidewalk before I shut and locked it.

“Okay, let the Rugrats extravaganza begin!” I cheered, scurrying back to the couch.

Poppy giggled and burrowed against my side eagerly as I flipped the TV over to the correct setting and pushed play. The familiar theme song blared from the TV speakers as the movie started and I settled back on the cushions more. Some parents wouldn’t admit it but I still enjoyed cartoons as much as I had when I was a kid. It was a nice bonding experience too, watching some of the shows I grew up on!

…

As the credits rolled, I shifted slightly and slowly lowered Poppy to the couch. She had fallen asleep about halfway through, as I had expected, but I wanted to finish up the movie anyway; It was one of my favorites!

Patting her shoulder gently, I set about picking up the remnants from the evening visit. Popcorn bowl, kernels, soda cans, and the like all barely fit into my arms so I rushed into the kitchen quickly as not to drop anything and let it down on the counter, sorting rubbish from dishes.

I had just got the sink water started to wash the dinner dishes when there was a loud crash from the garage.

“What the fuck?” I muttered.

I cut the water and dried my hands before shuffling closer to the garage door. Once I was almost a foot away, I heard hushed hisses and curses.

“Oh my god!”

As fast as I could, I flipped the deadbolt and door lock, only to be greeted to the sound of something slamming against the door.

“Oooohhhh ladies! I know you’re in theeerrreee,” a male voice sung teasingly, “Just wait ‘til I get you, you fucking bitch!”

Another slam against the door had me finally moving, eyes watering and chest burning as I held in a panicked scream. Without words I snagged Poppy and my phone up from the couch and sped into my room.

“Mommy?” Poppy groaned sleepily.

“Shh baby. I need you to stay as quiet as possible. Someone’s here. Hide in the nightstand.”

Her eyes instantly cleared up as fear marred her features. There was a sense of wisdom in her movements as she calmly and quietly crawled into the lower part of the bedside table, the cubby hole just barely large enough for her small frame. I turned it so the open side faced the wall and breathed out a sigh of relief. You couldn’t tell it wasn’t meant to be that way, nor that there was an opening on the other side. As long as she was still and silent, he’d most likely never find her.

“Whatever you do, don’t come out or speak unless I tell you to. No matter what. I love you.”

With Poppy tended to, I brought up my cell phone and dialed 911.

“This is 911. What is your emergency?”

“My name is Ginger Wallace. I live on 304 Cedar Knoll. Someone just broke into my house and threatened to kill me and my daughter,” I rushed out, hoping my words were clear enough for the operator.

“You said 304 Cedar Knoll, ma’am?” the woman asked.

“Yes, please, hurry and send someone,” I hissed.

Something slammed into the bedroom door and I jumped back with a scream as the pressed wood flexed under the impact. Hands shaking and heart pounding, I ran over to my desk and looked for anything I could use as a weapon. Another wall-shuddering thud hit the door right before the man spoke again.

“They’ll be too late, bitch. They always are. You wanna know all the things I’m gonna do you to before they get here? And to that little bitch too?!”

At those words, my blood ran cold.

“What’s taking so long?” I spit into the phone when I didn’t hear anything other than keys clacking.

“Okay ma’am, I was able to send out your location. An officer is on the way. Are you in a safe place away from the intruder?” she asked.

“Yes? No? I don’t fucking know. There’s a door between us.”

“Okay, I need you to stay on the line with me. An officer should be there about in twenty minutes.”

The door bowed under the pressure of what sounded like the intruder’s entire body being thrown against it and I felt my strength begin to drain, my knees going weak as I back up and leaned against the wall.

“Twenty minutes?!”

That was too long. Way too fucking long. Without much thought, I hung up the phone and dialed the first number I could think of. The intruders cursing was barely registering in my mind as I prayed for my only hope to answer. They had been renting out a place not too far away and with luck they’d still be awake, and thus the closest help.

“Ginger? It’s late, doll. What’s up?” Stu asked through the phone.

Another slam and cracking wood filled the air, along with a cackle that made me shudder.

“There’s someone in our house,” I whimpered, sliding down to sit on the floor as I felt panic set in hard, “He’s threatening to- to kill us. Are you guys able to-?”

“What?! Fuck, yeah. We’re on the way!”

I whispered a quiet thank you and tried to listen as he rambled something about being at the liquor store, but my attention remained on the crack slowly spreading down the door. I had to do something, but what?

“Hey! Ginger! Listen to me, sweetheart. Are you in a seperate room from him?”

Billy’s calming voice came through the haze like a beacon, and I quickly answered him that we were in my bedroom.

“Okay, good. I want you to barricade the door with whatever you have. Dressers, bed, whatever. Just keep him out until we get there. We’re less thab ten minutes away.”

I nodded, then realized with a frustrated sigh that he couldn’t hear that.

“Okay,” I finally murmured.

Climbing to my feet, I managed to pin the phone between my shoulder and ear and push the dresser at the same time. It wasn’t super heavy, but it was something. Next I maneuvered my vanity over. I barely had released it when the man slammed into the door again with a frustrated growl, tearing a startled scream from me as I stumbled back onto the floor.

“Do you have a weapon?” Billy asked suddenly.

“No,” I whispered.

“Is Poppy safe?” came the next question.

“Yes. He won’t be able to find her now,” I replied lowly.

“Okay, okay good. That’s good. We’re almost there.”

I heard a car horn honk from his side of the line and Stu swearing frantically, but then I stopped listening as recognition washed over me. The intruder was quiet, had been for a good minute or two.

As if my thoughts provoked his actions, suddenly the door was rammed again. The crack splintered farther down and I could swear there was light peeking through now.

“If you open up now, I promise to make the brat only watch! Hmm? How does that sound? Would you open up to save her?”

The guy sounded winded or hurt or something, but his threat was still bone-chilling nonetheless. I knew I stood no real chance against him weaponless. A terrified whine escaped before I could stop it and I felt my stomach lurch in disgust.

“We’re here! Right outside, Ginger. Don’t come out, okay?” Billy snapped sharply.

“O-Okay,” I whispered.

A door slammed in the other room and I heard the intruder let out a cry of shock before all three men were yelling. I couldn’t help but hide my head in my arms, unable to stand the sensory overload of the screaming onto top of all the other shit going through my mind. When a cry of pain sounded, my heart nearly stopped. I jumped to my feet when Stu yelled out for Billy, and nearly tore the furniture from the door to investigate the cause, but then came a loud thud; like a body hitting the floor.

I couldn’t make out what was being said at first, but then I heard my name.

“We got him! It’s okay now.”

With a strength I didn’t know I possessed, I shoved away the dresser and vanity as fast as possible and tore the door open, just to be greeted with the sight of Billy and Stu holding down a large man. A glint in the dark drew my attention to the blade at his throat, but my attention was quickly moved to the blood dripping from Billy’s nose.

Fuck. He’d gotten hurt trying to help me. A wave of guilt crashed over me, calmed only slightly when he spoke up.

“I should gut you here and now, you fuckwad,” Billy growled, “Slice you open and let you watch your intestines bleed out like a butchered pig.”

“Yeah! Teach you a lesson about messing with what isn’t yours!” Stu hissed, a terrifying look of glee on his bright eyes.

“No! Don’t kill him! No killing please.”

My shouts echoed across the room, over the man’s pained cries and the heavy grunts of Stu and Billy, and thankfully they both seemed to listen. On shaking legs, I slowly made my way over to them. The assailant was still stupidly struggling under the guys, but they gave him no quarter.

“Let’s do this the right way, okay? Remember, new start,” I whispered, carefully reaching out.

Billy tilted his head back, obviously weighing the options, before be nodded once. I couldn’t help but cringe as the blood dribbled down from his nose.

Damn that asshole for causing all of this mayhem!

“New start,” Billy agreed finally.

Hesitantly I rested a hand on their backs in a grateful manner, to which Stu surprisingly seemed to relish in.

I let out a yelp of fear as Billy reached out and suddenly slammed the man’s face into the floor, effectively knocking him out and silencing him immediately. Stu let out a snort then leaned lightly against my leg, his weight and warmth a welcome support in return, as Billy tied the man’s hands behind his back.

I let out a sigh of relief as we finally heard sirens approaching.

“Where’s Poppy?” Stu demanded suddenly, rising to his feet with an expression kin to fear on his face.

Billy swore harshly and growled out, “Did he hurt her before?!”

“No, no, she’s okay,” I reassured him quickly, “We hid before he got to us.”

Both men went limp in obvious relief as I called for her to come out. I heard nightstand scrape on the ground before she rushed out, barreling straight into my legs. I wasted no time hugging her back. After a few moments, she threw herself at the Stu. He brought her up in a bear hug, tossing a questioning look in my direction, to which I could only shrug. Why would I deny her comfort after what we’d just experienced? She clung to him like her life depended on it.

“We’re safe now, baby,” I murmured to her, reaching out and rubbing her back.

Her curls bobbed as she nodded in understanding. As she began to pull back, she instantly reached out for Billy, who was much more hesitant about holding her.

“Thank you. Thank you for saving us,” Poppy muttered into his shoulder.

“Of course,” was all he said eyes wide and glued to mine.

It was painfully obvious that he felt awkward and unsure of the familial affection, and I wanted to help somehow but wasn’t sure how. Stu shifted closer and wordlessly wrapped an arm around my shoulder, copying the motion on Billy, drawing us in. Poppy let out a little hiccup and a weak whimper as she fit snugly between the three of us. Feeling less awkward and even more grateful to them, I let my guard down and gave into my baser emotions; the dam breaking with the first tears that slipped out.

“Oh doll,” Stu muttered, squeezing me tighter when a little sniffle escaped my hold.

Eyes burning and chest aching with so many hectic emotions, I wrapped an arm around both their waists and held them tight; soaking up the feeling of complete and utter safety. As I rested my face against Stu’s chest, the tears flowed freely.

“You’re okay now,” Billy added after a few moments, “We’re not gonna let anyone hurt you.”

The sincerity in his tone took some of the ache away. I carefully drew from Stu and turned to face Billy, letting a frown curve at my lips.

“But you got hurt,” I murmured.

He looked surprised for a second before simply shrugging.

“This is nothing. I’d take worse if it’s what I had to do to make sure you guys weren’t hurt,” he replied.

Blushing, I swallowed hard and tentatively reached out, taking the hand that wasn’t holding up Poppy.

“Thank you. Let me go get a napkin and some ice for your nose.”

#Billy loomis #stu macher #billy loomisXoc #plus size female #stu macherXoc #Billy LoomisXOCXStu Macher #polyamourous #smut #fluff

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years ago

Text

Illicit Affairs - Harold x Reader (Adore)

Cruel Summer / Magnets / The Next Best Australian Record

GIF CREDIT: X

@wltz-bby @happyskywhale

Author’s Note: I know I said I was kinda finished with these two as far as I thought safe to take them. Oh, but this song I haaaaaaad to...

So here’s another one on the list of ‘how long does it take you to write a fic’. I decided I was writing this on 8th October (when I wrote my plot notes. at like 11pm) then I wrote and finished it on 10th/11th. Whereas sooooome stuff gets stuck in my drafts for like 6 months. And honestly I really don’t know how I do it. There’s a fic on my side blog that I turned around in 24 hours, which is another thing entirely but I am the most inconsistent writer! 😅🙈😬 I don’t know how you all put up with it, to be honest, but I’m glad you’re all here!

Ah shit we being and ‘end’ with Taylor again?! Ah well, can’t be helped!

Disclaimer: Adore/Adoration not mine / gif not mine / lyrics not mine

Premise: With Harold now divorced things get a little easier for a while, but you shouldn’t expect things to remain so un-convoluted for long, especially when you receive an invite to Tom’s wedding...

Words: 6418

Warnings: Sexual connotations / Sexual Pre-Amble / Swearing

_______ Make sure nobody sees you leave Keep your eyes down Tell your friends you're out for a run You'll be flushed when you return Take the road less traveled by Tell yourself you can always stop

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And longing stares It's born from just one single glance But it dies, and it dies, and it dies A million little times

Take the words for what they are A dwindling, mercurial high A drug that only worked The first few hundred times

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times ---

Life all seemed a little easier after his divorce. You still had to be careful, that much was certain, but it didn’t feel like a full affair. The only attachment either of you had was each other. For you it felt like a weight was lifted - a worry. If you only had to worry about what your friends and the University would think if they found out, all that really mattered was being careful on campus. Surprisingly easy; longing glances in class could have meant anything (didn’t they all already know you had a massive crush?), but that ‘catch you later’ smile on his face was the best new thing. Not every night, but a few of them you would spend back at his place. It felt like a real relationship now, you’d found something meaningful. Now you could spend time with him off campus, you seemed to get even more careful on it. It wasn’t the only place you could touch him, hold him, kiss him anymore. You’d been concerned about him leaving you. The age gap in itself would give him more than enough reasons. But he didn’t; Harold stayed. And eventually it wasn’t just belief that he wouldn’t leave you, you knew he wouldn’t. So another year at university ended, and this summer was the first you’d spent between Sydney and home. Obviously, Harold wasn’t going to be coming back. And far be it from your parents to stop you from going back to see your friends. They were just glad to see you happy, and having your own adventures. And you did get to have adventures, even if you never left his house. Summer bled into another year of university, important as your final one, strange in every social context you could possibly think of. Unusually tough to balance – and it made you only too glad to immerse yourself in your class work rather than your relationship. One of the blessings of Harold being that much older than you and having been there before (and heck as if he didn’t know about stressed and struggling university students), was that he understood and let you get on with what you thought was important. You still saw him, just not as often, and it affected nothing between you. Tom wanted to see more of his father, again that was understandable to you, but it was weird to see him kicking around Sydney and occasionally in your classes. On the instances you did bump into each other – and none of them very compromising, that you made sure of – you were civil. But there was never anything more to it than that, until Mary. Your first thought should obviously have been ‘I guess his girl back home didn’t work out’. Instead it was more about things becoming even more convoluted. Harold had come to you with the great idea that, as a final year and preparing to take that leap into the world of acting, you could mentor the lower years on your experience. Your mentee met your ex-boyfriend, and the next thing you knew they were dating. Harold thought it was hilarious, you weren’t so sure – but were at least prepared to see the ironically funny side. You certainly neglected to mention it any time you talked with her though. You weren’t sure you could get through a conversation without ‘Oh yeah and by the way he’s a cheater…’ Highly inappropriate! As you did start to consider your future seriously, the path you found yourself on came from an unexpected place. A new friend – a guy in class who you knew of, but had never really worked with. Stuck together for one of your many final projects, this wasn’t just about developing a few scenes – but a whole two-person stage play. It was like a light bulb moment, how well your energy and creative process and thinking matched. On the same page from the first moment, you weren’t sure which one of you had suggested doing this past your final year, but it seemed like the most logical thing in the world. As expected, Harold was nothing but supportive. Even joking that you’d get your work finished and produced before any of his. Before you hushed him with kisses and let him know how much you believed in him. Adding to your mad year, Harold also moved house – still beach front, modern and pretty. But it maintained a nice rustic aesthetic. Polished wood and steel. He whisked you up to see it before he’d even bought it – because apparently you got a say in things like this now. ‘Why? You’re the one living here.’ ‘I want you to still want to visit me.’ ‘I’d visit you if you were in a 1 bedroom flat with peeling paint and a leaky kitchen sink, you know that.’ ‘Yeah but, maybe it won’t always just be my house.’ You hoped he didn’t expect to be met with anything but joyful screaming at that. The very last thing – as if everything else wasn’t enough - was the final year production. Gruelling auditions were worth it once you got the main part, opposite your future business partner. It was nice, it was going to give you a taste of the future, a trial run. Harold unfortunately was in charge of the second years instead, but he brought Tom over to help manage it – no prizes for how he met Mary. Still, you went along to watch and support. Wondering how exactly you could make him a piece of the puzzle… proud of him and his vision. It made you nothing but excited for that original work of his to be complete – it would be nothing but an honour for you to star in it. Yet it also meant that he didn’t get to see yours until it debuted, and somehow having him on the front row provided you with a confidence boost. And that little wink he gave you as you took your bows gave you all the hints you needed about where your night was going… You wouldn’t lie to yourself anymore, Harold was everything you had always wanted. *** You gave it almost exactly a year after you had finished studying before you ‘came clean’ to your friends. Oh, you were never going to tell them the full details, and you certainly weren’t about to tell your parents everything: just that you were with someone, and you were happy… really happy. In your opinion that was all that should have mattered to them. Your friends were all incredibly shocked at first, but then supportive, and they instantly brought back some of their old favourite jokes ‘Holy shit! Good marks eventually DID get you in his pants after all!’ The truth was not the official line: You had met in a café like total coincidence just to catch up, once… twice… turning into a fair few times… turning into chemistry. Still totally weird, still with that age gap that made everyone (and you meant everyone) caution you, still this ‘he was your teacher once-!?’ that hung around. But not the truth, not that this had been going on so much longer than that. A story that you were both happy with – because no one ever needed to know the full story. And Harold was right about his house; although you had a small apartment across town you hardly stayed there – you spent all your time with him at his. You didn’t want to call it yours, didn’t dare speak the word ours until he did it first. But it always hung there, unspoken… Soon enough your friends grew to love him. How different things were out of the classroom, the conversations and interactions between them. Them all telling you that they finally got it – and then understood why, upon you meeting up again, why you’d hooked up. Which only had you pitying them for not seeing how gorgeous and amazing he was in the first place. There were a lot of shared evenings that happened around his house, where he’d let you invite your friends over but stayed well out of the way. Harold also let you invite them to his birthday though, and after the initial celebrations he and his friends stayed inside, whilst your friends stayed out on the porch. There was a chill in the air, but the fire was still going and you were all huddled together under blankets. As one by one his friends left and you were still sitting out giggling and sipping wine and beer, Harold came out to check you were all okay. Because he cared about them as much as you did. It made you love him even more, if that was at all possible. They probably loved that they could wind you up over this more than anything else, but that was fine for you, you knew it would take time for them to get used to the idea, although the tide was already turning; it was weird but they were also loving it. No one had left, somehow in all this madness you’d kept everything. It all seemed a little too good to be true sometimes, so you made sure to count all your blessings.

Harold’s play still wasn’t finished; he always said he was almost there, but seemed to be taking an age to edit it all – he’d let you read nearly everything but the conclusion. “Why? Won’t I like it?” “I just want it to be the final-final version before you read that. I guess it’s more… thought provoking than satisfying.” So he kept you guessing. You’d become more of a stage actor than you’d ever expected… perhaps eventually you’d commit yourself to film and TV too. You’d done a few here-and-there episodes but nothing concrete. But it was the dynamic between you and your writing partner – who, if you were honest, was quickly turning out to be your best friend – that kept you in stage work. You’d started a small production company to write and produce these plays and they were pretty successful. But you’d also been included in other, sometimes large scale, productions. And, yes, as ever, Harold was front row for as many of these as he could be. You spent your spare time as you had before, tangled up with him, reading or writing together. With always the promise of: ‘Once I finish I’m casting you in this!’ and any time the school did a production, well… it was your turn to be front row for him.

*** Your joint influence on the people in your lives became more apparent, and also came as a surprise. To you at least. And your question was tentative even if you knew the answer already. “Harry… did you… get an invite to Tom’s wedding?” He pointed up to the fridge upon which was stuck the invite; very pretty, clearly there had been a lot of thought put into this and you would think a lot of effort would be put into such a wedding. You crossed the kitchen to look at it: Plus One, interesting. “Does he know?” “He knows I have somebody but not who, why?” By now he’d caught the piece of card you were holding in your hands, and you held it up. “I didn’t expect to get one myself, but here we are. I mean if I was going to be included at all, maybe I’d be on my parents one, but-” “Oh! Mary’s influence?” “Perhaps. I haven’t told her anything either, but why me? I’m his ex and I’m friends with her… but not very good friends.” “Family friends, maybe that’s it.” “A courtesy invite? I suppose it could be. But it’s not like my parents knew you and Roz that long, I didn’t grow up there like Tom and Ian-” You thought better of it and held that thought. You scored the invite with your nails, “Do you… want me to go?” Harold tilted himself back slightly, folding his arms, “Why? Are you thinking of not going?” “It’s not that, it’s that my parents are going. They’ve already discussed it with me, I’m certainly not ready to out this. And I don’t want you to spend your son’s wedding worrying about that. It’s a big day for him and you!” “Would you go anyway?” “Harry-” “It shouldn’t be about me.” “No, it should only be about you! Yes, I would like to go, but not if it makes more sense for me to stay away.” “Then accept and come.” You blushed gently, “Is that what you want?” “Of course I do. We can play it safe, geez, the last time we were around your family was when this started and was at its most dangerous. It’s not an affair anymore, you’re not my student anymore. If something happens then it happens, but look at you. You’re a star in your own right now, you’re an adult and your life is your life!” “It’s the family friends thing, they will go crazy. Even with the story line we made up, I doubt they’ll speak to me ever again.” “Do they know you’re seeing anyone?” “They’re vaguely aware.” Vaguely was certainly the operative word – more because you certainly expected for talk to get back to them that you had a relationship. You’d never made it sound serious to them, but you told them a little to sate their curiosity. “Well then,” He walked forward, cupping your face, “we’re on the same page and we’ll be fine.” “If you say so.” “I do, don’t you trust me?” You giggled, before leaning forward and grazing your lips to his, “No offense, but that’s a stupid question!” *** You were right, there was a lot of effort put into the wedding. There were less guests for the ceremony, but from what you’d been hearing there’d be quite the after party. As you were on your own invite, you also got the perks of a separate room to your parents. You didn’t hang around the wedding party when you arrived – you weren’t about to turn up here and make yourself a nuance - and it gave you time to relax and prepare yourself for tomorrow. You’d have to try to be on your very best behaviour, no matter what Harold had said, you didn’t want there to be any incidents. Your dress was in a colour that flattered you, covered in little appliques of your favourite flowers, sensible heels in the same colour. The opportunity to do your own make-up and hair; though you kinda missed having backstage stylists… The idea was simply to follow Harold’s lead, considering this was Tom’s wedding. He greeted you with familiarity; his ex-student who he’d seen in many a production since you’d graduated. He even seemed to indicate that you had in fact met up a few times just for general interest catch ups. To which Harold also added ‘maybe I’ll get you in to talk to my students sometime.’ Your parents did ask how exactly it was that you’d leave this detail out. ‘It’s just day to day stuff! You don’t tell me every time you see your friends-!’ Now, ‘friends’ wasn’t a word they questioned. You knew you weren’t going to get to sit next to him, but your family was sitting behind him and that was adequate, he might have only glanced back a couple of times, but they were enough to have you beaming. The ceremony was sweet, smooth sailing; they really did look in love. It gave you pause for thought – was that how you looked at Harold? Still? You’d been together a while now, but then you supposed so had Tom and Mary. Maybe that was just a wedding effect – after all, was there a more romantic day for two people? You also smiled a lot, it was such a lovely occasion to behold, even the atmosphere – like everyone was finally in the place they were meant to be. Which, considering the convoluted way this had all started that fateful summer, was fairly incredible. Harold placed his hand delicately on the small of your back, as you both left the chapel. “Don’t want you to think I don’t think you look beautiful…” You nudged him gently, “If you’ll let me return the compliment.” He chuckled, “No.” “Yes! I mean that’s got to be one of the main reasons I’m here!” His cheeks turned pink and he looked a little bashful, removing his hand from you, far enough away from everyone else to sneakily lace your fingers behind your back instead, “But I mean it.” “Thank you, that’s very sweet… Yet I’m hardly the main spectacle. It’s all stunning and her dress is flawless.” “I don’t disagree, it’s very lovely. We have the rest of the day and the party yet.” “Well alright, I know you’re privy to everything.” You smiled, “I’m just happy you’re involved.” “Hmm. It’s humbling.” “You’re his father!” “He’s spent more time with Roz. Tom didn’t have to ask me.” “Well, I suppose you can’t change my opinion… As long as you know my opinions of you!” “Oh.” He let you go as you approached the drinks reception and winked, “Yes, I would think I did!” The drinks reception and dinner afterwards had exactly the same set of increasingly hilarious conversations. You weren’t always in ear shot of each other, or in the same social circles, but everyone wanted to know about the people you were respectively dating. You were a couple of drinks in, and became much more willing to open up – to the point where you were positively gushing about him. You gave your partner no name, age, or any of the questions they were asking that would be more revealing, but were more than willing to tell the rest of the story. And when you heard him being asked roughly the same questions - and sometimes you were standing together at these points - he was doing exactly the same thing. You were surprised one of you hadn’t broke out in a beaming smile or had glowed in sweet embarrassment yet. And yet it did make you feel so happy that Harold was happy to talk about you in the same way, and every so often you’d catch each other’s eyes and you would smile just like that. There was something about both being in on such a secret; you were happy you’d decided to come and be here – even if you weren’t with him, you were most definitely with him. You didn’t approach Tom and Mary until a little later but they were both so happy to see you. And you congratulated them with about as much enthusiasm. “First up you both look gorgeous! And this wedding is so beautiful… oh my gosh, you guys!” You hugged them both tight. “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both!” “Hey,” Tom nudged you, “What’s this I’ve been hearing about you, though!? Get him married.” “AHaha-” You excused yourself from your laugh, “I mean I dunno I… maybe.” You quickly turned the conversation back on them, “You both look so joyful, and so great together. Enjoy it, alright.” You pointed to Tom, “Extra enjoy it for me, I’ll see where I go.” “Oh, I will!” He grinned, hugging you again. You wondered if he ever had told Mary that you’d dated. You supposed it wasn’t the relationship with him you needed to worry about so much. Mary pulled you back to her, “Thank you, so much!” “Oh, you were always star material…” you squeezed her tight, “But you’re welcome. Maybe we’ll get to be in a production together soon!” “I’ll hold you to that!” She giggled, wishing you well as you let her go. You breathed a sigh of relief as you made your way back to your parents, all’s well that ends well…

***

It was a little later, after the first dance, and when everyone was moving around the party freely: everything now in full swing and at least a few of them having already having had too much alcohol, that you realised your assumption was wrong. Some people here weren’t having a good time. You were alright to sit alone and observe for now. You’d known what you were getting into. Ian, best man and from what you’d been told by Harold the one to start this whole ball rolling, was sitting around rather dejectedly. You’d watched him intently for a little while, and he seemed to be getting confrontational with just about everyone – including your man. Now he just appeared to be sulking. So much for us all being more grown up now… Eventually you’d clearly stared at him long enough to have caught his eye, and you offered somewhere between a sympathetic and fed-up smile. Attempting to give an air of ‘yeah man, I know the feeling!’ considering you were also sitting here alone, but his face just scrunched into an even bigger frown as he huffed, crossing his arms before looking away. Okay then, sorry I tried! You weren’t left alone for much longer than that, as Harold wandered over. “Hey, you doing alright over here?” “Yeah, fine.” You waved off Ian, just in case he’d seen any of that brief exchange, “Just taking some quiet time.” “Well, that’s an awful lot of quiet time…” He held his hand out for yours, “Come on, come dance.” Your eyes immediately widened, and you looked from his hand to his face, “With you!?” “No, with someone else – yes, me!” “Harry, I don’t think that we should-” “I want you to enjoy yourself… c’mon.” You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath and praying this wasn’t the worst idea you’d ever had, as you placed your hand in his and he pulled you up. “Think of it as like… a father daughter dance.” “Oh no, you just made it worse.” His laugh was embarrassed, “Oh, yeah I guess I did, didn’t I – sorry!” Harold didn’t try to make it romantic, although clearly because it was between you it was, and you supposed it was something a little reminiscent of ‘father of the bride’. Well, no one else – not even your family – was dancing with you, so why the hell not? Still you voiced the question. “Should we be doing this?” To which you were only presented with your own question: “Shouldn’t we really be beyond caring?” You couldn’t help but laugh, “You been drinkin’?!” “Not that much, give me some credit!” Oh, the want to pull him closer, your wish to lay your head on his shoulder and close your eyes as he swayed you gently on this dancefloor. To look into his eyes like you really wanted to, and were using all your self-control to make sure you weren’t. For him to just wrap you in his embrace right now. It didn’t happen, and you didn’t expect it to, but it hurt a little. Still, here you were and he was ‘holding’ you – it was as close as you were going to get, and you savoured every single second of his skin on yours. Eventually you did actually get to dance with your father and then some younger ‘gentlemen’ (though, whether you’d call them that…) cut in and you let them dance with you the way you wished that Harold could. At least you were enjoying yourself, to you that was the most important thing. But, you ended up back over by the drinks table with your actual other half, observing the party once more, and you broached the subject of the catalyst. “What did Ian say to you?” “Huh?” He turned, bottle half way to his lips. “I mean it looked like he was getting a little irate.” Harold just looked confused, so you sighed with an eyeroll, “Earlier!” “Oh.” Then he laughed, “Well clearly he’s the least happy person at this entire wedding, and he ironically said this was all my fault.” Your eyebrows raised, “Sorry!?” “Well I did take Mary to Tom’s 21st. So, I guess… that’s where they became a little more serious.” You snorted, “Holy shit. The wedding is your fault!? But what’s wrong with the-” you looked back out to the guests and then it clicked, “Everyone was growing up… You think they ended all the affairs at home?” He gave you a face to say he agreed with your deduction, “I’m glad we didn’t get the memo.” You only laughed, “I don’t think I would have agreed to the memo!” “Now we’re on the same page-!” **

You were standing outside on the patio, admiring the stars and lit scenery, when Tom caught up with you again. “Can I ask you something?” “Yes. And you just did.” That had him laughing, and you only slipped into chuckles too, he still liked how fast you were at quipping. Suddenly you were transported back – what would this have been if it didn’t become such a mess. “Your boyfriend…” “Mhm.” You straightened to the edge in his voice, and although Tom was looking at you seriously there was a hint of playfulness to his voice. “How long have you been together?” You couldn’t tell if he’d figured you out yet. “What if I said, it’s the same guy that I first mentioned to you in that massive argument we had?” He leant back against the railing, breathing out heavily. “I feel like I should have… figured it out before now.” “Considering I don’t know what you’ve figured out – you want me to help?” “It’s my dad, isn’t it.” It wasn’t even a question. You were a little affronted by his tone: “You don’t have to make it sound so creepy. In fact, if you want me to bring up glass houses…” He was a little taken aback that you’d just admit it, “Shit, you knew about-!?” “I told you I did. Yeah, that’s how this all started, you and Ian and…” you waved your hand and then pointed at yourself, “Only I stayed with mine… Geez, I’m sorry.” “Sorry?” He laughed, “Why?” “He’s… your dad. That’s not why I dated you, it’s just how it happened.” “You don’t have to explain!” He waved his hands around, “He’s happy, you’re happy, you’ve spent a lot of time together today, I have observed, and it just… I dunno, I guess it clicked. Everything he’s said about – well you – but his other half, and everything you’ve said.” “Oh, damn, is it obvious?!” “No. I just have all the pieces, don’t I?” “You’re… a little too cool with this.” “I told you we were cool before.” Tom’s look was significant, “We’re still cool. And I’m not gonna go telling everyone, until you’re ready to go do that yourselves. Besides,” he nudged you with a smile, “you seem to have enough dirt on me!” “Uh, I would never. You go off and enjoy your married life to an amazing woman, you idiot!” “I’ll do my best – but I’m never gonna call you mom!” “I’m just glad I’m older than you!” You folded your arms with a grin as he left you, with a wave, before turning back, “Why’s that!?” “The likely inevitability of grandbabies. I’m just gonna have to be the cool aunt or something!” You didn’t think you’d heard anyone laugh so loud in a long time. ***

It continued to get later, although the party was still going on and you could hardly take it anymore. You’d watched him move around in it all day, and now all you wanted was that suit on your hotel room floor, or his. That single button he’d undone and the slacked nature of his tie was nowhere near enough for you. But it was hard to let him know that when you couldn’t just go over and grab his hand; you had to just rely on glances and hope that he got it. And clearly he did, as he crossed the room back to you. Although instead of telling you that he was ready to go, he came with a cautionary tale. “We need to be careful about this.” “And your suggestion is?” “Well, we have to stagger when we leave, but you might want to say goodbye to people. Because your parents will notice you’re gone.” “Oh, your son isn’t gonna notice you’re gone, huh?” It was then Harold decided to tell you he’d seen your conversation with Tom, “Well he knows, doesn’t he.” It wasn’t a question, and you were stuck on how to respond, “I didn’t hear, but I saw you two. Is there anything you want me to say to him?” “…Well, that’s between you…” You lowered your eyes, “I didn’t tell him, he guessed.” “Sweetheart, it’s okay.” Harold couldn’t touch you, so his nickname made you look up. “I’ll talk to him, maybe not tonight… You go, I’ll watch you, wait for me.” You nodded and he gave you a gentle wink before you both headed in different directions. You had one more drink before you started to play the tired card – although really you were far from it – and said goodbye to your parents, a few of the others you knew here, and finally bride and groom before you headed off. Outside of the reception room the hotel was cool and quiet (you supposed it was pretty late) and you could take a breather, sliding out of your heels on the steps it felt so good to be back on the floor. You wandered slowly up the corridor and across hotel reception, you weren’t exactly sure whose room you were heading to, but nearly everyone was on the same floor and you were all certainly on the same wing. You were just finding your way up the steps on the other side of reception when you heard the footfall of smart dress shoes behind you, and turned to Harold saying a goodnight to the receptionist who had pulled night shift. He continued his pace as he caught you, turning up the corridor but not before turning back and wishing you a goodnight. You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow: who were you keeping up appearances for now? Hotel staff? You shook your head and turned, finding him back at his room, apparently having trouble with his key.

“Would you like some help?” You slipped yourself between him and his room door. “If you would be so kind.” “Not sure I was talking about your room key…” You smirked, prising it from his hand, waiting for the beep to pull him to your lips by his tie, you stumbled backwards into the room as he pushed the door. Harold waited until it had closed to pull you into him, hands into your hair. It felt so good to have him touch you again, and you realised how much you’d yearned for it all day, as his hands moved down your neck and shoulders to your back, he continued to pull you closer. “God, I love you.” You almost whimpered it – kisses leaving you breathless, and you weren’t sure if that was because of the whole wedding atmosphere, or that you hadn’t had even a single chance to tell him face to face in nearly two days. But he needed to know, urgently. He chuckled, nuzzling your face with his own, “I love you too.” Your breath still caught every time he said it, even now. After having to wait so long for his first, there wasn’t anything any less special about it a hundred, a thousand, a million times later. He was still nothing ever but delicate with you, guiding you across his room to the bed before his hands collected on your shoulders again. Harold took a step back, the low level lighting set the perfect mood, but he moved his body so the moonlight could shine on you through the still open curtains. “You are so beautiful.” His fingers gathered under your chin, to keep you from shying away from his eyes as your own hands collected on his chest, ready to push his jacket down his arms. “You truly are.” As if he didn’t already affirm this nearly every day of his life, and Harold kissed you again. “Me?” Your instinctive reaction to flirting was always to nervously joke, “You look in a mirror, lately?” Harold shook his head before his lips traced yours again and he let you relieve him of his jacket, you were quick to unfurl his tie too. You stilled at the buttons of his shirt because his hands were back on your shoulders again and you relaxed your stance, releasing his lips to watch him push the straps of your dress down, guiding his hands across to the slight zip, he ghosted you a kiss in thanks before he let your dress fall to the floor. This time as you caught his collar to run through the buttons you kissed him harder, pushing your body into his – encouraging him to touch you and moaning into his kiss as you did so. His shirt was off quick and joined your dress as he deepened the kiss and you wound yourself around him, enjoying the taste on his tongue. Your kiss continued to get hot and heavy as your hands shot to his belt; he was no longer of the persuasion to stop you on bedroom thresholds, opening his body up for you to relieve him of it and undo his suit pants. Relenting as his hands caressed your back, finding your bra clasp; you always felt so fragile under those large hands of his, but all Harold ever did was take care of you. He lifted you gently from the floor and laid you both back in the sheets, kicking off his pants as he did so. You remained locked in your kiss as he caught you in an embrace, pulling your panties slowly down your legs, your breathing was a little shallower, at the friction of his hips against yours. You could hardly wait for him now, eagerly reliving him of his own underwear. “Shh shhh…” Harold gathered your hands in his, breaking the kiss and you whined, making him chuckle, “Darling, we have all night…” “…Harry…” The way you whined his name was delightful and that flicker across his eyes that he couldn’t control had you craving more of him, “please.” And you knew he wouldn’t deny you if you asked politely. “All night.” He repeated, and all you hoped was you weren’t going to be too loud when the other guests retired to their rooms for the evening. Hooking your leg over his hips he made sure you were completely comfortable before he entered you. You held him tighter, trying to stifle your moans in his skin. But he groaned gently too, and it was an exquisite little sound. In the comfortable quiet before you moved together, you kissed him gently again, reaffirming what you’d said before, “I love you.” Free to tell him all night now, you weren’t about to waste any opportunity. He rubbed his hands over your skin, sweet and delicate, “Darling I know… I’ve known that for a very long time.” He caught your lips once more, “I only hope I remain deserving of such love.” You weren’t sure why he occasionally said things like that to you, maybe sometimes he felt guilty about the whole thing, but you would only ever reassure him. He was deserving, and you knew he would always remain that way.

*** It was very early morning when you awoke, too much excitement in the air – even in the aftermath of the wedding - for you to sleep. You stood out on the balcony, watching the watery sky as the sun began to break through. Harold was content to watch you from the bed as you were draped in his shirt and the bed sheet, looking out towards the ocean. There was always something about all these ocean views… He stood and half-dressed himself before joining you, he almost didn’t want to break the silence and how serene everything was. Harold opted instead to simply stand with you, caressing your exposed skin, stroking the small of your back delicately. You wore a soft smile, and although you weren’t looking at him, he knew that he was where all your focus stayed. Eventually you tilted yourself, so your head rested against him – and the noise you made was of content. The silence remained for a long time, because there was nothing for either of you to say. Why say ‘I love you’ when you’d spent your night showing each other how in love you were, and how much you appreciated the opportunity to be with each other… There was something even more beautiful about you in the afterglow, but Harold wasn’t sure he could handle just telling you that yet. There was something about the time of day, about the time you’d just spent with him, all the joy that surrounded the wedding that made you speak honestly. Something had weighed on you for a long time; it wasn’t a bad weight, just a muse you were almost too scared to voice. But after everything, right now felt like the best and only time to say it. So you did. “Is it crazy to want this... for me to wish this could be us one day?” You couldn’t look at him for fear of becoming so embarrassed that you’d stammer ‘forget it’ and run from the room. That perhaps all you would see in Harold was hesitation, and it might break your heart in two right then and there. You assumed his answer; that he would chuckle at you, and be as lovely with you as ever but tell you not to be so stupid – this wasn’t to be your fate. That wasn’t what Harold said, and the silence didn’t hang because he didn’t know what to say, but because what you’d voice demanded the gravitas and respect of a real answer, a thought out answer. He took a breath, looking out to the sky as you were, before smiling and taking your hand, pulling your body into his embrace and kissing the crown of your head. He kept his voice low and gentle, as delicate with you as ever. Why had you expected anything less? “No. I don’t think it’s that crazy at all.”

---

Thanks so much for reading 😘🤗

#This is strangely reminiscent of the Doug Peterson thing I was going to write the second part of so I'm 99% sure I'll be writing that soon!#I actually had to change the sex scene cuz I was like /isn't that what you were gonna write for Doug/ /oh shit you're right!!/#Because this isn't technically parted I might come back to them #but I feel done with Harold for now...#I miiiiiight pull up Amanda's idea eventually if I ask nicely and she lets me!#I really like that one and it goes with that hilarious meme #Lol everyone in my head rent free and Harold and Elias just slipped under that radar and laughed at them all.#Harold #Harold x Reader #Adore #Ben Mendelsohn #193 #Laina

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