#i starved myself all day and now i wanna throw up the dinner im boutta eat | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

triggeringtommy · 7 months ago

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just told my dad I'm going away voluntarily and he laughed in my face told me how stupid this will b bc I'll just get out and do the same shit I'm doing now but im not even doing anything wrong I smoke weed a few times a week I take my meds every day and I still wanna kill myself no matter how happy others make me I cannot make myself happy and I have to learn how to do that on my own and I tried to explain that to him but he kept laughing about how I'm gonna be locked up forever even tho it's voluntary and he's very mad and he said im not gonna send you anything call you or communicate in any way

#he makes me wanna slam my head into a brick wall #i just wanna cry like a baby #im such a daddys girl its embarrassing i miss him sm but ik i cant ever be physically close or even properly emotionally connected to him #i wanna make myself throw up til my hands and throat bleed #i starved myself all day and now i wanna throw up the dinner im boutta eat #i feel like theres a hole in my chest and rocks in my stomach my intestines are intertwined nd hurting #i just wanna smoke away my emotions or take a benzo #my dad makes me want to relapse when i open up to him abt my mental health #i genuinelly rly rly rly wanna hurt myself rn its sooo badddd so ima cry and color after im done crying like a bitch baby

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