#i started playing bc i already knew the rules and i wanted to exercise without going to the gym and it's actually pretty fun!

[xluxsolarisx]

got three sealings and a filling today and i'm being so brave about it (eating a bag of grape gummies and listening to patti labelle)

[jaminjims]

bts 8th member {imagine}

a/n: ok so this was the child of my 1-5am mind that was running off of chips ahoy cookies and diet root beer, and honestly?? kinda proud of myself lmao. i felt like i was kinda lacking with my boys au update this week and i wanted to feed you guys with more content so, here you go! (also sorry if it’s a little rushed, i just started writing and didn’t stop) i lob ya’ll 

pairing: bts x reader (it’s sorta implied as a m!reader bc bts is a boy group and i refer to you as he maybe twice throughout, but it can be read as any gender! although i do make you refer to the older boys as hyung. you can also read it as ot7 but you don’t have to, there are fluffy moments between everyone)

genre: pretty angsty but also pretty fluffy

warnings: panic attack, loneliness, anxiety medication, brief mention of insomnia, extreme dieting, sleep medication 

words: 4.2k

~**~

you trained in bighit for two years before you were put into a group and you could easily say that those years were probably the hardest of your life

in the beginning, you were ecstatic to be accepted because being an idol was your dream, even if it was a small company. you had lost count how many times you dreamed about debuting and just making people (who you couldn’t wait to call your fans) happy

over time, you wouldn't say you lost your drive to continue, but your bright outlook on the future dimmed and the pressure of everything had begun to build up and it had gotten really hard

you had to train everyday: singing lessons, dancing lessons, exercising. and on top of that? you also had to study for school and continue to get good grades

after all, that was your parents only rule if you wanted to become an idol

your parents were also happy for you, but if they also became worried. because being away from home and the pressure of school and training without the fact they could look after you, it worried them to no end

they called you everyday and asked how you were doing, and you would tell them the truth about how you missed them so much that it almost hurt and if you were eating a lot (if your training even aloud it) and that you were staying hydrated and healthy

and sometimes, you were worried about yourself too

there have been multiple times that you thought you were going to break, how you thought you couldn’t continue to live like this because you weren't aloud to eat much and the classes and school work and just everything began to pile up 

but this was your dream, and no one said it was going to be easy

that's the thought that kept you believing in the future, kept you believing in yourself. all of your hard work was going to pay off and you knew it was going to be worth it

right?

the times when you sang so much your throat went raw, the times when you danced so much to the point of exhaustion, and then collapsed but didn’t eat enough afterward. those were the hardest 

your parents came close to pulling you out of training more times than you could keep track of

but you persisted. you had already made it this far, what's the point of dropping out now?

the first year of training was exhausting, but you were so proud of yourself because this was the hardest task you had ever done and you were getting through it!

the second year though, was probably worse than the first. that was the year when you really started to miss your family, and with trainee's constantly coming in and out of the dorms, you really had no one to connect with 

there were nights where you would cry yourself to sleep because of everything

it didn't help when your trainers put you in remedial classes, because you were pretty good at dancing, but not so much at singing

the extra classes got in the way of your school work, and more often than not, you found yourself missing at least two classes a week because of them

but it was ok, you told yourself. if you had made it this far and gave up, then what would the last year of training be? 

but there are only so many times you could tell yourself that before the words started to lose their meaning and you had come so close to dropping out because a person could only have so many anxiety attacks and meltdowns before they just broke completely

but it was like something looked down on you and suddenly: the moment was there. you were put into a group and immediately cried on the spot then and there, even when the others in the dorms could see 

you had called your parents right after and were so happy, you couldn’t even get the words out and they could only half understand you

you knew it was going to be worth it and even though you almost aloud yourself to give up, you would be willing to do it all again

that's when you vowed to yourself: you were never going to give this up for anything

and even though you didn’t get the grades your parents really expected of you, it was ok

you were here, you made it 

meeting the rest of the bts members for the first time was something that you would always remember, and even though you would come to laugh at the first meeting with them in the future, it was hella embarrassing 

“hello, my name is y/n. please treat me kindly and i look forward to working with you.” 

well, at least that's what you tried to say

instead it came out more like this: “hello. y/n. nice working kindly with you, please treat me forwardly.”

yeah, you die every time you think about it. the look on their faces as you flush in embarrassment would become the faces of your paralysis demons for months afterward because god could you seriously be any more socially awkward?

the answer to that question was: of course you could!

even though you weren't the shyest (that would probably go to the youngest, jungkook) you were probably the one to mess up the most and then think about it in the most inopportune of times

like for example, it was one of your first dance practices together and you were thinking so hard about not messing up anything, you ran into the door on the way out of the practice room after it was over 

yeah, this time most of the members couldn’t hold back their laughs, and even though you knew it wasn't to make fun of you, you still flushed the color of crimson because christ what the hell is wrong with your brain function? 

your face was probably two shades redder permanently because of the amount of embarrassing moments you had still have

 that was probably the reason you become closer to jungkook first because (excluding the fact that the both of you were close in age, you only one year older) you were both the shyest

also, videogames who? ya’ll know her very well 

most of you and jungkook’s bonding moments came from your mutual love of videogames and the relationship was THRIVING 

“hey wanna play minecraft?” “kook it's two am.” “well then why are you still awake?” “to see how long it would take you to ask me to play minecraft. i already have the server open.” you both would then probably get blown up by creepers and you would yell before one of the others came scolded you both for staying up way to late and making noise

and once you bonded with jungkook, it was only natural that the rest of you bonded too (sharing a room does that to people)

when you were practicing the i need u choreo, for some reason your timing was off and you knew that but you just didn’t know where it went wrong and that one mistake was driving you crazy 

dancing was the thing you were supposed to be good at and that fact that you kept messing up weighed hard on you and made you lose confidence

but it was hoseok who had found you hours after practice had ended, laying down with your arms across your face because you were just so frustrated with yourself that you felt like crying and at this point hoseok had known you long enough that you weren’t the type to ask for help even if you needed it

“y/n, you ok?” 

“hyung, i-” you choked up and you got even angrier at yourself because are you really crying over this? 

hoseok rushed to your side and helped you sit up, but you didn't take your hands off your face 

he instead took your hands in his gently and swayed them back and forth, “yah~ it’s going to be alright.” he gave you a the hobi smile and you couldn’t help but lighten up 

he pulled you up and together the both of you practiced until jin forced you to come home and sleep because “they had already missed dinner, god damnit.”

you nailed the choreo almost every time after that

or when you were recording vocals for spring day and you kept messing up and your voice kept cracking and the other guys had already gone to their lunch break while you were still sitting in the studio, practicing your lines

the other seven sat in the practice room eating and got worried that you were going to miss lunch altogether so they nominated jimin to go collect you because they knew that you weren't confident in your voice even though they told you almost everyday that it was amazing

jimin walked in on you singing your part in the song and smiled at how smooth your voice sounded but then frowned when you suddenly stopped and cursed because “why can’t i sing? what the hell y/n.”

you had yet to see jimin enter the recording studio but you defineitly felt when he wrapped his hands around your torso in a comforting gesture

you relaxed in his hold and sighed out as he whispered in your ear, “your voice is perfect and it fits you y/n-ah. it’s going to be ok.” 

you teared up and turned around in his hold and properly hugged him. “i love you hyung.” 

and you really did, you loved all of them 

and you pride yourself on being the one that helps every one and makes sure they are doing alright, mentally and physically 

you would get scolded by your hyung's and occasionally by the maknae that you should look after yourself better and that it wasn’t your job to always look after everyone, even more so if you are younger 

like when you stay up late to wait up for yoongi to comeback from his studio even into the early mornings, and when he doesn’t you bring food and go to him instead because “i’m here for you hyung. and it's been awhile since I've seen you.” “it’s been four hours, y/n” “yeah, four hours to long.”

but he would eat the food you bring him anyway because he secretly likes your visits and wouldn’t trade them for anything

he always asks you if you’re ok though, “you getting enough sleep?” “why are you up so late?” 

you always answer honestly, “i’ve been staying up really late to get things done when i was a trainee, so i’m used to it. it kinda just happens now.”

he frowns but can’t really fault you because he does the same thing sometimes. but still, he doesn’t stan sleep depraviety 

or when namjoon gets stressed before interviews (it doesn't happen as much recently but it did when they were younger) especially ones where he had to speak english

you would always give him massages and reassure him that everything will be fine and that he was the best leader he could've asked for 

the way joon smiles with his dimples gets you melting every time and you can’t stop yourself from poking him and calling him cute just to tease him, even though he’s older

he always gets this blush on his face and swats at your hands, but he never does lose his smile

you try your best to learn english because you want to take some of his stress away and help him in any way you can 

and it’s because you all try to help and build up each other in any way you can, is why you all work so well and just flow together 

like how you and tae just casually switch clothes sometimes because “y/n has the best fasion sense in bts” and you because you just like the way he smells (which, for the love of god, you will never admit to him, or anybody, outloud) 

“hey y/n have you seen my purple hoodie?” then he would walk out of his room to see you covered in his hoodie eating ramen and smiles “never mind, i’ll just wear your white one” and then it’ll be your turn to smile

or when you assist jin in the kitchen because you actually really love cooking too and you two end up goofing off 

“hyung the pasta is gonna burn!” “aish, then stop distracting me with your childish antics!” “oh did you hear something? must be the wind.” and both of your laughter would echo out, making the other members smile and sometimes laugh along with you 

you’re also a regular on eatjin and army just love seeing the interactions between you two

but as much as you all get along, there are still many fights that happen because no relationship is perfect

it gets really stressful when you see members fight with each other because you have never been the one for conflict and would choose to avoid it when you could. you would always apologize first because you had a weak heart and hated when anyone was mad or upset at you

but sometimes the stress and pressure get to much and there are moments where they can't help but blow up at each other 

“damn it! why can’t you get this move right!” someone would say, after doing the dance for the fourth time 

“i’m learning it just like you are! calm down!” 

it would sometimes stop there and the two occupants would apologize and they would continue to work, helping each other when needed. other times it would escalate and you would sit and watch because what could you do?  

it would usually be one of the older ones to calm everyone down but practice would be cut short and there would be this tension in the air that felt suffocating and it comes to a point where you or someone else would end up speaking up and force the two to talk but they would become stronger and more understanding after the fight, because that's who they were and how they worked

but those were only small fights and you have only initiated them enough times to count on one hand, but the big fights are the ones who leave you feeling drained and powerless because you were never one show big acts of emotion so when you did you felt tired afterward

a big fight that you were apart of that really impacted your relationship with he wrest of the members happened all the way back in 2017 

you were more jumpy the past few months and the members knew you didn't get barely any sleep 

they also knew that you had been under fire from the media and haters because of a false rumor, and haters had been constantly pointing out your flaws and every little thing they could find wrong with you 

you had also lost a lot of weight and that's what really hurt them, they felt like they were slowly losing you and they had tried to bring it up with you a thousand times before, but you would just brush them off and tell that you were ok when they could clearly see that you weren’t 

it was when you fainted during a costume change in a concert that they drew the line

you had woken up later back in the dorm with about a million messages on your phone from news sites and family (and of course the other members to check on you to see if you were awake yet)

“y/n suddenly disappears from concert” “does y/n really care about army?” 

those where only a few titles that he saw on articles and it only added fuel to the fire for the false rumors and hate

you had sat on your bed that you presumed the medics dropped you off at and based on the time, it had been about an hour and a half and the concert should be wrapping up soon

and you cried.

the rumors, the hate, the other members treating you like you would break any moment. you were letting people down and oh my god, you actually were breaking and couldn't stop it 

it was already hard thinking about letting the fans down because they were your everything and you would go to any length to make them happy

but also letting your members down? your parents? 

that was excruciating 

because you had found seven other boys that you had grown so close to that you could count on but what were you if they couldn’t count on you?

when they came back after the concert all worn out and tired, their first thought was still about you and if you were ok 

the maknae line almost broke down in tears at the sight of your sleeping form and how it was very much apparent that you had cried. so much that your eyes were red and puffy and you had a deep frown on your face even in sleep

the hyung’s left to talk when the maknae’s got into your bed with you nd held you because they were legitimately scared that they wouldn’t see you again when you collapsed (jimin on your left, jungkook on your right, and taehyung after jimin) 

hobi was the first to speak when they closed your bedroom door. “we need to force him to do something.” 

namjoon sighed, “that might make it worse, hyung.” 

“well the medic said, just by looking at y/n, that he was malnourished and sleep deprived! i-i don’t know what to do!” his voice cracked and he went to sit on the couch, seokjin sitting down next to him to try to provide any comfort he could 

there was a silence that followed the group after the outburst and finally yoongi whispered out. “i’m so scared.” 

it was tired and broken and they all felt the same way he did

jin and hoseok fell asleep on the couch together while namjoon and yoongi retired to their own bedrooms, to tired from the events of the day 

everyone had woken up before you did and the somber mood from yesterday still permeated the air 

it was the most you slept in two months.

when you woke up, you probably felt worse than before

your face was swollen, your head was pounding, you were starving, and just all around miserable 

the members somewhat knew what you were going through. they knew that you felt like you had let the fans down and they were very conscious of the hate you were getting right now 

when you walked into the kitchen at eleven (all activities halted for the day. another thing that was your fault.) the rest of the boys were sitting around the table, talking about the best way to help you 

you had simply walked in and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, trying to avoid the others because you knew the conversation that was coming and you weren’t looking forward to it 

jin saw you first and got up from his chair and gently held your wrist to prevent you from leaving

“come here, you need to eat y/n-ah.” he said softly. he then pulled you over to the table, and you let him 

everyone went quiet and you just simply put your head down on the table because what could you say? that you were fine? because it was very obvious you weren’t 

when jin came back with a plate of food, he gently massaged your neck until you sat up and taehyung sitting on your other side held your hand

jin feed you himself when you made no move to and they were happy to see you eat more than you usually did, but not enough to fully sustain you 

when he saw you wouldn’t eat anymore, jin sighed and pushed the food away. he went back to massaging your neck as you put your head back down on the table 

namjoon spoke up from across you, “how are you feeling?” he spoke softly 

“mm head hurts.” your voice was raspy and even softer 

“we need to talk to you.” yoongi then said and this was the moment you were dreading the most 

they tried to get you to talk about how you were feeling mentally and tried to be there for you but when namjoon brought up doctors and medication is when you broke 

you even surprised yourself when you started yelling (this was probably the first time you really did at them)

“i’m already messed up enough as it is! i don’t need more flaws that will just bring everyone down! is that what you really think? that i’m that messed up?” 

they tried so hard to keep calm but you were slowly driving yourself insane and what you were saying was also just so hurtful that they couldn’t help but get heated back 

jimin was quick to catch you when you started swaying on your feet because your head was still pounding and it was getting hard to breathe and you couldn’t focus on anything, the others voices blurring together around you 

you had to lean back against him and you heard him say something but you couldn’t make out what it was because you couldn’t breathe and your lungs were heaving because you needed air

the voices around you became softer and there were hands trying to sooth you but nothing was working

it wasn’t until there was a soft whisper that you heard in your ear from someone that told you to “breathe for me y/n. please breathe for me baby.” 

you then took a big breath and then another and another and the others began to breathe again too once they realized your panic attack was over 

you couldn't help the sobs that escaped you and it was just so heart broken and scared that others teared up with you 

hoseok hugged you from the front as jimin was still supporting you from the back and you clung to him. “i’m so scared” and “i’m sorry”  were the only two phrases you could seem to get out at the moment 

“it’s not your fault. it never will be your fault.” and they would feel guilty because they knew you just needed help and they couldn’t fault you for getting upset because the media could be so harsh 

it got even worse when you would later admit that you just didn’t want to bring them down because of course you would think like that. them before you, always 

so they stayed by your side every waking second and became even more clingy if possible because dammit, it was ok to let yourself be takin care for once and a while and this time they were going to make you take care of yourself before you took care of them 

when you were diagnosed with anxiety and sleep medication, they were with you every step of the way and made sure that you were taking them properly because they knew you still were against the idea of taking medication. it had the chance of getting out, and the media didn’t look kindly upon idols who had to resort to such 

jungkook would be the one, more often than not, to make sure you take them, and on bad nights the only thing that would get you to comply is when he would say “if you take them it will help me sleep better.” 

and it always worked because he knew you would do anything to make sure they were happy

the road to recovery was hard and there were of course ups and downs but at the end of the day, you had them and you couldn't imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t

the fights, the laughter, the crying, you would go through it all again if it meant you would get to stay with them

life as an idol wasn’t easy, but with them, it was just that much easier and you couldn’t ask for a better family 

yeah, they were your family 

and when you stood up on that stage, tearing up to see all yours fans chanting your names, you knew this was worth it

because you had made it, you built yourselves from the ground up and had loyal fans that would do almost anything for you and that support was worth more than anything 

so no longer was your dream to just become an idol and have fans. no, it was so much bigger than that 

you evolved and your dream along with you

you truly loved your fans and more than that, the family and community you had helped create along with the rest of these amazing boys that you were proud to call your everything 

so standing up on that stage, you cried tears of joy because in this moment, there was no place you would rather be 

and afterward you all would cuddle, because who wouldn’t love that, right?

[end]

end note: this was seriously too long and i enjoyed writing this wayyy to much. like i seriously made myself cry?? the part with the panic attack?? i swear i almost ugly sobbed omfg. also, would anyone be interested in seeing other parts to this? like i would absolutely love to take requests for this and make it a mini series if ya’ll are interested in something like that. i just love you guys to much lmao 

also sorry if there was any mistakes, apparently i like writing at ass o'clock in the morning where my one braincell can barely function so there are probably many of them, but i was just so excited to get this out and so i didn’t read over it jsfjkgb

~**~ masterlist

taglist: @boba-tea1206​

[glatisants]

Albion: The Legend of Arthur (Part I of XIII)

As promised, I’m starting the Audible series Albion: The Legend of Arthur. I actually don’t hate it so far! (I don’t usually have high expectations for Arthurian adaptations, but for now I’ve decided to not worry and just enjoy the ride.) Nobody asked for this, but I’m going to write up some recaps, mostly because I could find so little information on the series when I was considering trying it. And also so people who can’t get Audible can get a sense of the story. I guess we’ll see how this goes.

Note: I really wish I had a cast/character list to look at, because my spellings of the Welsh names are going to be some very shoddy guesswork.

So. Part I: Last of the Romans

It starts with a war, naturally.

First, some characters:

Arthur Pendraig is the nephew of Ambrosius Aurelianus (aka Emrys), who currently leads the Britons as one of the last Romans in the land. This take on Arthur seems to be an accomplished but hot-headed warrior who wields power through both charisma and intimidation, and is admittedly a bit of an ass.

Arthur and Owain of Rheged are Ambrosius’ best generals, and they are accomplished young warriors and close friends. For the record, they are not related in this adaptation. My impression of Owain so far is that he seems like a rather nice young man and a consistent voice of reason (and as such, I believe he is doomed).

Gwenhwyvar is an ally of Arthur’s family, skilled in leadership and battle, and a singularly powerful woman. My impression of her so far is that she’s fierce, capable, pragmatic, and very, very clever.

Medraut is Arthur’s cousin and former childhood friend/longtime companion. Arthur has grown to hate him for his betrayal to him and his allies, as Medraut believes himself to be the rightful ruler of Britain.

Anna is the daughter of Lewdwn of Gododdin. She was formerly romantically involved with Arthur, and is implied to have been involved with Medraut as well.

There’s a character whose name I am not sure of, but it kinda sounds like Cynon so that’s what I’m gonna call him. He’s Arthur’s cousin, his father Ambrosius has made it pretty clear that Arthur’s the son he always wanted (and most likely his eventual successor), and Cynon is understandably rather jealous and resentful towards Arthur.

It all starts with a battle scene, in the northern stronghold of Gododdin. Medraut wants to defeat Ambrosius and be made king, as he sees himself as the true ruler. He had stolen the Kingstone, a seemingly unremarkable stone that is used for forging swords and is seen as a symbol of rightful rule. Medraut stole it in the hopes of giving legitimacy to his blood claim. Arthur and Owain retrieve it and win the battle, but all are quick to acknowledge that Ambrosius’ victory in Goddodin would not have been possible without the aid of Gwenhwyvar and her forces. Goddodin had allied with Medraut, but when they were defeated by Ambrosius and Arthur’s forces, Medraut fled, while Anna and Lewdwn stayed for their people.

To show his gratitude, Ambrosius offers his two champions whatever they wish as a boon. Owain requests leave to return to his father’s lands (specifically to see his mother, which I’m hoping means we get to see Morgan sooner or later); Arthur only asks that he has permission to go after Medraut and take his vengeance, and Ambrosius says he shall have it.

Arthur and Ambrosius talk alone. Ambrosius talks about how Arthur has won the loyalty of his men and is popular with the people, and how Ambrosius’ hope is that if they make peace with Lewdwn, they can unite all the Britons under one banner and successfully defend themselves from the Saxons. He ends by saying, “The world is ours. Remember that.”

Then Arthur and Anna have a talk.

They knew each other in better times, “when they were little more than children,” and they have both since become jaded by their experiences in war. Anna loathes Ambrosius bc he killed her brother. Her father has made peace to keep his political allies, but she cannot.

Arthur brings up the possibility of a marriage between the two of them; he supports the idea, and thinks they’d be a good match, but Anna’s certain that things will never go back to how they used to be, and she dislikes the idea of a political marriage that would allow Ambrosius to keep his grip on her family’s lands in the north. She also lashes out and claims there are rumors of Arthur of being “more Greek than Roman” and romantically involved with Owain.

We learn that Anna’s father was baptized in the hopes of bringing Gododdin “into the light of a new age,” but Anna is implied to still hold onto her old faith. She says she hates what the powerful have done to her people, deciding all their futures and playing their bloody games. She tries to convince Arthur to take a stand alongside her and use his popular support to give power to the people, as Ambrosius has an insatiable desire for more power and has already caused too many deaths, but Arthur rejects the idea. She criticizes his grudge against Medraut, saying that their childhood rivalry has dragged the lands to the brink.

I have a feeling Anna is not surviving this story.

Owain and Gwenhwyvar meet up. Gwen doesn’t get to participate in peace talks bc she’s a woman; when Owain wonders why a woman as powerful as her has to accept those rules, she replies that she doesn’t like it but she abides by it, and she finds that it’s easier to exercise power unseen, anyway. She asks why he lets Arthur take all the credit for their victory, and he carefully deflects and says that there is no victory until the civil wars are completely behind them.

With all the lords/generals gathered, Lewdwn of Gododdin is honored for keeping the Christian faith and for agreeing to join the alliance in Britain. Since Medraut left Lewdwn to take the blame as he fled, he accepts Medraut as his enemy, swears loyalty to Ambrosius and his lands, and peace is made.

However, Anna interrupts and furiously demands that her father not accept, bc the Britons should not accept a ruler that leaves them cowed by threats of force. She refuses to be silenced, and calls her father a coward. Owain tries to intervene to persuade her to stop, but Arthur refuses to do the same. Ambrosius asks Anna to renounce her past treacheries to spare herself, but she refuses, spits on him, and is struck by him. Ambrosius declares that he will give her a day to consider his offer of mercy, or she will be put to death for treachery. She is then taken away and imprisoned in a cell. Arthur, Owain and Gwenhwyvar are worried, but Gwen tells them to keep quiet, and says there may yet be a way to save her.

The episode is bookended by an old, mad beggar man talking to us, the audience; I think we’re all genre-savvy enough to know he’s Merlin. He spouts a bunch of dire warnings, bad omens abound, and he predicts that a dragon will enter the fray, there will be many more terrible wars to come, and basically everyone will die.

[donghun-s]

the very large sp3arb tag

so @sp3arb has tagged me in a total four tags recently and i’m finally getting around to all of them!! tysm for all the tags, meri (btw i love your name?? i think its super cute!) and i hope you learn a bunch of unnecessary stuff abt me lmao (under the cut bc this is a long ass post)

i dont have a name for this tag

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

im not tagging anyone bc im bad at things and most ppl i wanna know about, meri has already tagged so

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo - I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority  - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie  - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages [i don’t speak two, i speak one and sign in another] - I have made a new friend in the past year

alphabet tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

I was tagged by Roxanne ( is it ok if I call you Roxy? I like Roxy) Actually @lxx-fxlix  And for some reason it did not give me the notification you did, I was casually stalking your blog when I saw:

A: age? 16 (01 liner)

B: birthplace? North Carolina

C: current time? 7:53 pm

D: drink you had last? Arnold Palmer (half sweet tea, half lemonade)

E: easiest person to talk to? for me, it’s my irl best friend gwen and my best friend on here, krys

F: favorite song? oof i’m super indecisive so i’m just gonna commit to mayday by got7 (it always changes but mayday has stayed on my constantly rotating playlist for nearly six months now; most are on for six weeks, max)

G: grossest memory? uh probably when one of my swim lesson kids tried to eat a bug (they were like four) and i had to make them spit it out into my hands 

H: hogwarts house? proud slytherin!!

I: in love? i love a lot of people, but i’m not IN love

J: jealous of people? not anymore, my self-esteem has gotten so much better in past years

K: killed someone? uhm a couple of times in fics (*cough* jinjin in not like this *cough*)

L: love at first sight or should i walk by again? not love but pls walk by again bc i’m probably enjoying your aesthetics

M: middle name? christine

N: number of siblings? one, an older sister

O: one wish? to adopt a kid with no family or an unhealthy one (obvs when  older and financially stable)

P: person you called last? my sister called me yesterday morning, and before that i had called my friend to tell him abt a near death experience when i was driving

R: reasons to smile? something good will happen to you, you’ll meet someone wonderful, and there’s always new experiences to happen

S: song you sang last? poet by bastille (an underrated fave)

T: time you woke up? about 8 am

U: underwear color? light heathered grey

V: vacation destination? i’d love to go to greece someday! santorini would be my first choice, and then my great-grandparents old village near thessaloniki

W: worst habit? probs my dermatillia (picking at acne on my face until it bleeds, then picking at the scabs, leaving a bunch of scars that will never go away)

X: x-rays? i got one on my tailbone one time, two years after i sprained it bc my mom didn’t believe me

Y: your favorite food? uhhh most anything tbh; i quite like the honey butter chicken sandwich from pdq

Z: zodiac sign? libra

✨ Fun Facts Tag ✨

Rules for this are:

Have fun with it!  

Tag some of your mutuals

1) Favourite colours:

orange!! and after that, any kinds of pastel or muted darks

2) Favourite song at the moment:

lotto by exo has been on replay in my head, my car, and my earbuds

3) Last book you read:

the sun and her flowers by rupi kaur

4) Last TV show you watched:

i tried to watch part-time idol bc hyunbin from jbj was in it, but within the first 15 minutes they set up an unnecessary relationship so i had to nope out of there real hard; i then reverted back to rewatching white collar for the fifth time

5) Last movie you watched:

does john mulaney’s nerflix comedy special comeback kid count?? if not, probably nightmare before christmas way back around christmastime

6) If you have a pet whats their name?:

four dogs: pheonix, kino, midge, and bess; three horses: little man, gem, and andy (ironically i’m allergic to dogs and horses, and my dad keeps buying more)

7) If you have siblings how many?:

one, my older sister

8) Favourite thing to do on a weekend:

i love doing my swim lessons and seeing all my kids!! i haven’t been able to lately bc of the weather, 

9) Best tumblr friends:

i only talk to @cheesyramynry on a daily basis, but i have a lot of blogs that i consider friendly acquaintances or casual friends as well!!

10) Favourite thing about yourself:

i value my compassion and empathy above all else; i am very much the mom friend and love to be it

11) Favourite memory:

ah i have so many; i think rn i’m gonna go with this past christmas, bc it was my last one with my grandfather

12) 3 weird habits:

swallowing gum, taking all my pills in descending size order, i tend to mimic how a singer sounds when i sing along to the song (ex: if they have a british accent, i’ll subconsciously sing in a british accent; if they stress certain syllables in certain ways, i’ll do it too)

13) What would you call your style?:

comfortable (stretchy jeans, t-shirts, hoodies) and with a few signature Gay Things (jean jacket, flannels, oversized mens’ button ups, a couple gay/bi pride shirts)

14) Odd talent:

if i have lyrics in front of me to a song i’ve never heard before, i can predict the pattern of the tunes and rhythm and sing along the first time

15) Do you have a tumblr crush?:

literally all of aroha and all of the sk fandom (y’all are the loveliest fandoms i’ve ever been a part of)

the stray kids tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post, and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I’ve decided that in celebration of Stray Kids pre-debut album I needed to create a tag. The ultimate goal for The Stray Kids Tag is to learn about your Tumblr mutuals, and have fun answering the Stray Kids related questions!  Here we go:

1: When did you decide to join the Stray kids fandom?

i saw a thread of information abt the suspected nine members before they were officially announced and was like ‘yes i must stan them and love them with all of my heart.’ so uh,,,,, back in august or september??

2: What is your favorite episode of Stray Kids? uhm, i’m gonna expose myself rn and let y’all know that i’ve never actually seen a full episode of the show; as soon as i heard it was gonna be a survival show, i knew that i couldn’t watch it bc my heart was too weak and i was emotionally incapable of becoming too invested while watching it; but from clips, i quite like the episode with the 3:3:3 mission, and also the last episode when all nine were reunited and told they were going to debut together

3: Who would you say is your bias in Stray kids?

my initial one was chan, and they i got rlly confused, and then slowly came to realize that it was jeongin (anything else after that is a fucking mess)

4: Who would you say is your bias wrecker in Stray kids?

literally kill me all of them bias wreck me so hard bUT hyunjin, jisung, seungmin, and chan have been wrecking me so hard in particular lately

5: What line would you want to be apart of in Stray kids? uHHH not dance line bc swimmers have 0 coordination on land; i quite like singing even tho i’m not good at, so probably that, but i can also hit all of chan’s english rap parts in 3racha songs, and keep up with lafayette’s raps in hamilton, and a lot of the english rappers i like too so uh,,, sign me up for rap line too

6: What is the first song you heard of Stray kids? hellevator

7: What is the first song you heard of 3racha? i think it was either hoodie season or runner’s high

8: What is your favorite song on their pre-debut album?

young wings or school life or yayaya (or grr or 4419 or glow or hellevator)

9: What is a concept you’d like to see Stray Kids try in the future?

i love their current optimistic and slightly rebellious teenager concept rn bc its an Eternal Mood; but i always love myself a soft boyfriend concept 

10: if you could meet with the members of Stray kids for one day what would you say to them?

how proud of them i am, and how proud of themselves they should be; i would tell them about how they’re saying things that resonate deeply for their fans and i love that they’re talking abt real world problems; i would also make sure to tell them (chan and 3racha especially) to make sure to rest more, and eat well, and take care of themselves emotionally as well as physically; and finally i’d like to tell jeongin how wonderful he is and that he’s doing so much at such a young age (lmao he’s actually eight months older than me but that’s no the point) and to never lose his cute little smile

finally done!! meri, if you actually read all of this, uh thank you????? i hope you now know everything you wanted to know abt me, and probably more than you wanted to know

i’m bad at tagging people, so if you also made it this far and haven’t done some of these tags, choose one, or a couple, or all of them and do them yourself!! just say that i tagged you!!

[friendlyoceangiant-blog]

“Red String of Fate”

Leave “Red String of Fate” in my inbox… To see what is in our muse’s destinies then I’ll write a drabble for it. ||Accepting||Note: I’m putting all under readmore bc length (or any other reason), numbers are on the bottom for a surprise, and i’ll make use of any AU I can to make these work.

Ahhhh the smell of cut grass was great in the morning. He loved it. It just smelled like... sports. The feel of the way the football felt in his hands was nice. The way you could just reel the arm back and just let it fly-- the greatest feeling. Seeing the ball fly with a beautiful spiral spin was the best... when it actually did spiral. 

A shiver ran down his spine as he felt some eyes staring at him. He didn’t even need to turn around to know what was going to follow next. “Ya ya, I know, I know! I shouldn’t be doing anything. Bad for my arm.” He spoke up before she could even say anything. 

She was the manager of the football team, and they were of the mentality that everyone was a part of the team. The coach, the players, and of course the manager. Why not, right? People often regarded the audience themselves to be players by drowning out the commands so the opposition can’t hear anything and may happen to miss the moment the ball is snapped. 

Football, like many other sports, was dangerous. Mizumachi happened to injure his one shoulder after tackling the running back of the opposition down to the ground. It was the very shoulder that he dislocated a few years back. He injured the same shoulder once more and was told to law off heavy activity for a while. 

Well, this ‘while’ was much too long. With a lot of complaints and arguing, he was allowed to at least be near the field and watch the team practice or play games. He didn’t want to be too far from the field. It was a part of who he was, essentially. 

Just now, that throw? It was pretty pitiful, wasn’t it? Yeah, but it wasn’t going to be as pitiful as Mizumachi would be if she was going to get angry enough to nag at him for not listening to what the doctor told him. She was right there with him when the doctor told him the status of his shoulder. As soon as Mizumachi heard the words: ‘you’ll recover with no issues,’ he stopped paying attention. 

He knew that Kajika would listen and comprehend enough for him. He trusted her to be able to tell him what he had to do in order to not make his injury any worse. Still, that didn’t mean that he was always such a ‘good boy’ and actually do as the doctor told him to rest. 

The two would bicker as Mizumachi would forget, or start to get so bored he’d complain and want to ‘get in’ on the action already!

All things considered, he may come off as being a nutcase most of the time, but he did know his stuff. He was very well informed of all kinds of sports. He knew all the rules, and he was just as good at playing them as well! A versatile player who was very gifted with athleticism. 

Sometimes the two would sit on the bench and discuss about tactics, or what one thought about adding another training regimen for the players to try out. Kajika was a hard worker and would do her best to come up with something that would benefit the team. 

They would bicker about the stupidest of things sometimes. Like whether or not pink is a real color or not (if it was, why isn’t it in the rainbow?), or whether or not true humans pour in cereal first and THEN milk. All kinds of stupid things. 

Today just happend to be a ‘Did you just throw that ball?’ ‘What? I didn’t throw it! I tossed it! That’s perfectly okay!’-- kind of day. 

At this point, the team had long since accepted the fact that this is how their dynamic worked. If they didn’t know any better, this may have been some weird, covert way of them flirting with each other, but judging by how animated they could get with their bickering, they had second guesses about whether or not they were faking their fights or not. 

“Mizumachi!” 

“WHAT? The doctor said light exercise is okay! I’m just going to go to the gym and lift light weights!” Absolutely not what the doctor had in mind. Here they go again. 

That is a record though. They went 10 minutes without a fight!

Ironically enough, they don’t fight outside of football. They get along just swell, but once they step foot onto the field, it’s anyone’s guess as to what they’ll fight about next. Perhaps it’s just the way the field had a way of making your blood boil. 

Maybe it was simply just Mizumachi’s way of messing with her because he likes to see a bit of irritation on her face. 

Don’t tell her, but he finds it cute. Guess it is on purpose after all, but it’s on purpose on just one side. 

22.) Our muses are destined to be team mates, they have a stupid amount of respect and trust in each other even though they may bicker constantly.

[ahhhhh I really hope this is okay. I tried. OTL This doesn’t really give too much to work off of.]