#i start crashing out
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actually crashing out, vent in tags
#been planning this xmas party w my friends for a month#my mom got super into and we’re cooking a bunch of food for it#well we talked about what movie to watch and a couple of friends said the shining#didnt wanna watch that#thats not a christmad movie#but i was under the impression we never agreed to a movie#so i bring it up three weeks later#and my friend gets pissed at me for changing the movie#when we never agreed to one in the first place#like it’s my fucking party i think i should have some say#so we finally agree to home alone#and i think everything is fine#then i get a text today#saying we need to start at 10 instead of 11#because one of my friends#has to fucking work tomorrow at 3#i start crashing out#bc this shit has been making me so anxious#and this just made it worse#i want to cancel the party but i cant#my mom already spent a bunch of moneh#they want to fit in a 3 hour board game and im like#when are we gonna have fucking time for that#jesus#so i’m pissed at two of my friends#my best friend has apologized to me for them#love him so much thanks pookie#anyway#been cleaning the house to prepare for these stupid idiots#i don’t think i’m ever hosting anything ever again
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but we're more like brothers (even if it kills you)
#sorry . i think the caffiene addiction should start early. those two do not know how to grind coffee beans properly yet but they will learn#colored sketches because the ama made me crash out so bad yesterday i wanted to do a set. illario i know you. i know your heart#<- fie could attest to this. because every 5th word out of my mouth was illario's name#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#the wigmaker's job is REQUIRED READING to follow me!!!!!! hope thats clear !!!!!!!!#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#my art
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what saw III did y'all watch
#lynn denlon#amanda young#lynnmanda#shotgunshipping#saw#saw iii#saw 3#sawposting#i love these fucking freaks so much#they started scissoring after this#and johns dying of cancer in the other room or whatever he was doing#also my wip got like corrupted in procreate and i had to delete it so im going to crash out 😋❤️#owl.archives
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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Sobriety crew gets no mercy from drunk shenanigans
#an art#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#Danganronpa the#danganronpa#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#akane owari#nekomaru nidai#Aoi asahina#chihiro fujisaki#mikan tsumiki#Idk I guess I wanted to draw characters being physical. And drunk#And just have fun colouring#Nidai doesn't drink but loves parties anyway and takes the ppl who go overboard home#And then wakes them up at 8 the next day to get some NUTRITION AND ELECTROLYTES AND TO SWEAT OUT THE BOOZE#Akane only drinks super occasionally (fx when it's free or really elaborate like giant fruit cocktails) or when someone challenges her#But she always comes pick up her drunk friends (lightweight Aoi hehe). Starts a fight occasionally....#Girls are allowed to crash at her place anytime. But she wakes up at 5 and you will wake up too#Fuyuhiko doesn't drink but has to do a lot of businesses at bars which he sometimes owns some part in#So he's in the party scene a lot anyway. He takes security seriously and would rather call you a cab than let you leave on stumbly legs#Mikan doesn't know how to say no and gets swept up in drunk people being...not mean to her#Chihiro does not drink often (because it usually ends like this)#Aoi is just a lightweight and gets sick easily#I really wanted to draw Chihiro with a 70s blowout cut but I think it didn't come through lol#Not tagging ships you can make your own meaning I'm tired and I gotta wrap presents. Which i hate doing wish me well
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watched over the garden wall today for the first time! I love u horror fantasy mystery genre
#over the garden wall#otgw#a friend and I were looking for a show similar to gravity falls to watch and I mentioned that I had heard of this one#I didn't realize it was so short! But I love it#I love you succinct shows I love you planned out endings#fan art#wirt and greg#otgw beatrice#the frog#can't remember his name#art#this is the first time in so long that I've felt good about art I've made :o#stayed up all night doing this#wouldn't have taken that long but photoshop crashed right when i was getting close to being done and I lost soooo much progress#it was devastating but I decided to start over and I am glad I did#anyway hope someone enjoys this!
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I entered a trance and drew this all in one sitting, my wrist and back are suffering. But I saw @melonae's take on a Dungeon Meshi Falin styled Chimera for Elliott and I was over come with a need to draw that! Yes this is an excuse to draw animal parts of my two general favorite subjects(birds and aquatic life) and monster stuff and yes it was so worth it despite my pain. He's specifically is a Maine Lobster and Mallard Duck. This was so much fun to draw, I really need to tap back into my love of animals and monsters more.
#I started to crash again because I'm trying to get out stuff for commission and this was a breath of life for me#also thank you again for letting me hop on as well! :D#art#stardew valley#dungeon meshi#stardew#stardew elliott#stardew valley elliott#fanart
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when i say i want jeremy knox to crash out i mean i want him to CRASH OUT. i want it to be debilitating. i want it to be brutal. i want him to lose it so bad people think he won't recover. i want him to lose his goddamn mind. i want everyone around him to panic and lose it too, because jeremy is always in control, always knows what he's doing, and he's finally been derailed. i want him to lose control and spiral and devolve and i want all the tentative threads holding him and his family and whatever past transgressions he has to unravel and for him to lose it so badly everyone gets worried that he won't make it out alive. i want every terrible thing in his past, big or small, to catch up with him and eat him alive. i want him to be irretrievable inconsolable unreachable i want him to be so out of it everyone is kind of like "well what the fuck do we do now" like if it's not that kind of a crash out i don't want it.
#yes it's toxic#whatever#i need to see it#i need to see jeremy lose it#nora PLEASE let jeremy crash out in tgr#it's like i know i'd start getting upset about it but i think it's kind of just something that needs to happen#even if it's just like a self-contained explosion#or implosion#as long as something has him spiralling and devolving#he's on a downhill trajectory surely this is the only way for him to go#zoe yaps#aftg#all for the game#the sunshine court#tsc#the golden raven#tgr#jeremy knox
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so ik it’s not cannon accurate but,,,
i need a fic of tim just crashing out.
like he gets so sick of like damian and jason talking about how weak he is and shit like that that he’s like “yall realize lady shiva was my one of my FIRST teachers, and i was the first robin she trained. i had to train under b AFTER he already lost a robin. you DONT think he was 10x harder on me than any of you guys???? there’s a reason my training videos are mainly redacted without bruce’s or my permission. i got ra’s al ghul BEGGING ME to join his league or have my children. i get gifts from him WEEKLY. do you KNOW how many of his little ninja i fight per DAY??? nahh im sick of this shit let’s take it to the mats” and just demolishing both of them at the same time.
i just think it’d be very funny. i just like fics of people who pretend to be weaker than they are(or they just never really have a reason to go full tilt so they just don’t) get sick of holding back and just losing it :D
#batfam#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#damian wayne#robin#unhinged tim drake#batfamily shitposts#i just need fics of tim losing his shit and crashing out#just because they are funny#and i sometimes feel like people would forget that just because he’s smart does not mean he doesn’t have hands#like bro all robins are certified villains only being held back by b’s rules#they all have insane hands and are all very smart#don’t get distracted by whichever one they choose to put at the forefront of their personality so you forget about the other#but basically yeah i just want it bc it’d make me giggle#also yes ik bruce never physically abused tim during training but i love the angst fics that use that so i added it anyways#i. don’t think it was like intentional on bryce’s part tho just that he was struggling so hard with his grief#he just never noticed how hard he was pushing tim until he pushed wayyyy too far#and yeah he and tim eventually resolved their issues and had a BIG talk about training boundaries#but only after he started getting a bit better and got it through his head that tim was just a kid and not a moving punching bag#i like to think it was only after like titans tower or some other time where he was very close to losing tim tho#bc as much as i want bruce to just be a good dad all the time he had struggles actually verbalizing his feelings#and apologizing for his mistakes
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Casual touches between Sol and Sunjae 💛
LOVELY RUNNER - EPISODE 16
#lovely runner#kdramaedit#kdramadaily#kdramanetwork#userlab#my edits#if anyone is wondering why the colouring is kind of all over the place it's because:#a) i'm all over the place#and b) my computer crashed while i was in the middle of this set ghjfkg just started glitching out of nowhere#[ the out of nowhere is actually me having around 40 psd files opened :))))) ]#anyway i say casual touches because they're not the big kiss or the reunion or the proposal etc#but i love that we got so many this episode they really felt like a couple (grown up too)#and also i liked that sol initiated so many because a lot of kdramas tend to have their fl shy away from that#but they're both playful with it#ok i'm done giffing now sorry @my pc#byeon woo seok#kim hye yoon#this isn't even all of them btw 💜#mine: lovely runner
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It was Maid Day today yesterday a week ago so I got struck by inspiration to draw the worsties, and it ran away from me into a whole AU where they’re coworkers at a maid cafe. She’s a med student & this is just a part time job, and this is his depression job while he gets his life back together. He needs something he can be workaholic about to forget what it’s like having a personal life and personal issues. He’s actually the accountant, but the new hire janitor (Izutsumi) doesn’t show up for half her shifts and is a sloppy worker, so he gets the extra work of doing her job on top of his because he’s undervalued and overworked. Of course, janitors also have an uniform to keep the aesthetic cohesion as they go about cleaning the place, of course.
Senshi’s the part time cook you only see slivers off, he’s kind and warm when you do see him and have a chat but most shifts he’s in and out the kitchen without a trace. Laios and Falin are regulars because Falin and Marcille are besties & in the same med school, Laios accompanies Falin as she visits her friend at work and gets hooked on the food. Chilchuck has to remind Marcille to work instead of chatting with Falin for an hour, and next thing he knows she’s distracting him from work too. That’s it that’s the AU. Inspired by this idol AU fanart a bit <3
This was not meant to be birthday gift but well…… Happy bday Chil!!!
Read from left to right
#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Chilchuck tims#marcille donato#spoilers#dunmeshi au#Maid cafe au#Marchil#Workwife marchil save me. Kabuholm in the background bc i said so lmao#i think people forget marci n chil are coworker worsties first and foremost. Ppl should capitalize on it more#The orange hair swag that makes him look like a marketable idol more#You can tell idk how to draw maid outfits. I hate those hats sm I will miku miku beam them out of existence#Marcille does change her hairstyle everyday btw#they don’t get back together btw she goes you haven’t talked to me in 4 years and he immediately goes YOU haven’t talked to ME in 4–#i mean ehem i’m sorry haha… while Marcille is like 4 years?! 4 years…#Mei only did it bc Fler has been getting jittery again kept sighing#I wanted to draw Chil with a car key at his belt but it wasn’t meant to be#idk if marchil ever gets together in this one it’s an eternal summer coworker with tension situationship au#romance is when you slowly deteriorate his work ethics so he starts skipping on his worktime to spend it at the front messing around w you#once he’s blessedly in the office and he hears this huge crash and the Marci just goes ‘…… Chiiiiiil?’ cue sigh and having to repair#the coffee machine. So many lil comics i couldn’t indulge myself to draw save me#shoutout to the time as a cashier in training at a convenience store I was left by my coworker who was supposed to wash the greasy chicken#oven but didn’t so I had to clean it for the first time myself while I was alone in the store and was also supposed to man the front#Shoutout to my convenience store’s accountant helping us with cashier duties often when there was less job to do ty ty#Understaffed struggles are so real#People also call Chil a manager because the boss is most often away so he just does everything#There’s no union but maybe one day he’ll get to overthrow the boss idk#The pay IS good at least#Modern au
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i try to warm up and/or fight off burnout by making dumb memes/joke edits for anything (with middling success). this is the PL edition of the latest abominations i concoted in my lab
originals: [1] | [2] | [3 (blank)]
#professor layton#hershel layton#jean descole#desmond sycamore#keats the cat#emmy altava#raymond#raymond professor layton#luke triton#aurora#aurora professor layton#>>mango(t)art#it started with the first bc honestly that's just them it's On Sight#i love how sad keats turned out in the second one#after realising that keats was left on the Bostonius at the end of AL des just kind of accepted he had a cat now#layton learns of his brother's survival later through finding des' twitter and his live blogs of unwilling descent into cat fatherhood#the last idea got me good for a while because first it was funy to me bc the plane crash scenario and the fact they're all on an airship#then i realised all the options were gold and the bostonius crew are when you get down to it a weird bunch of mfers (and Raymond)#does this count as sycamore sunday he's in all of them idk
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🪦🥀 Ay de mí, llorona?
#genshin impact#Kaeya#kaeya alberich#fanart#art#digital art#artist of tumblr#día de muertos#day of the dead#this drawing was from like a year ago lol#I crashed out#and started rendering last night#it be like that
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I just realized some people are confused about events in the alluded to past in Mouthwashing, particularly about how long the crew has been working together.
The only person who is truly new is Daisuke and it’s why his dynamic with the crew and role in the story is very unique and somewhat distant. Curly didn’t just get Jimmy this job on the Tulpar, he got him the job with the Pony Express. He’s been his copilot for probably a couple of years but still not as long as they’ve been friends. None of them are new with the freight industry, Anya and Swansea especially have been doing this for years, together.
Jimmy is the newest on the regular crew, maybe just a few assignments, but it’s not his first time working with them. I think it’s just something important because this isn’t just one bad mistake that snowballed with giving Jimmy the job. None of them thought Jimmy would do anything, no matter how off-put by him they could’ve been, since he hadn’t done a thing since being there. Generally unpleasantness isn’t a crime and he’d be aware of that.
It was a festering thing and a sort of forced trust they had to give him that he knowingly took advantage of. He was the black sheep and still a wolf under the wool. He expected when he lashed out, that he had been there long enough for it to be looked over completely. Got too comfortable in the space he inserted into and did a lot of damage with his claws when he felt he was going to get shaken out.
#I think acting like if Curly just didn’t give Jim the job this wouldn’t have happened is underplaying that they’ve all been working for PE#for a bit and that Jimmy got comfortable enough to do something horrible like#a lot of factors made the trip being out the worse parts of them but Jimmy was slowly letting his worse parts show and I think people assume#that this was one a few mission he went on with Curly and that he advocated for him completely when it was more likely#he pulled some strings so Jimmy could work right under him and stay out of trouble with a decent job and it back fired cause Jimmy is just#not a good person like I see people acting like his breakdown and choice to crash the ship was because this was probably one of the last#chances to fix his life and he couldn’t admit he fucked up soemthing literally handed to him so badly and cruelly#I think people forget that predators like Jimmy rarely do anything the first day. or week or month or year#they ingrain themselves into the schedule and dynamic and build a sort of stability that make it harder to knock them down or push back#he has Curly’s trust as the co pilot and as a friend#Swansea doesn’t like him but doesn’t trust him and Anya is just wary initially#he doesnt even attack her at the start of the trip it’s implied it happens after the psyche evals and when she confides in Curly how#patronizing he is to her and her position. he’s retaliating against a perceived slight to his stability to him it was pure act of power and#anger because he’s at his core an avoidant bully who can’t take responsibility#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#I didn’t want this to be a Jimmy post but it is#more so about how abusers like Jimmy work but I digress cause most of it’s in the comments
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Oh.
Nintendo out there just casually (kinda) confirming the "descended from humans" and "the wraiths are involved in all of the spaceship crashes" theories.
(source)
Okay, they're not really "confirmations" but more like they're officially addressing the different theories that people have about the true nature of PNF-404 and are telling you to keep on speculating on your own time.
Take these translations with a grain of salt since they're machine translations.
#pikmin#nintendo#pikmin 3#pikmin 4#i've always been kinda on and off with the umebozu theory. and i think this is the first time nintendo has directly addressed it#but i've pointed out that shepherd's family are likely descendants from humans since the start#what i don't get (and i'm not sure if i've posted about)#is that if humans are their ancestors#what happened that gave humans the ability to travel through space#and then subsequently lose the ability and also forget the history of Earth?#that's really the biggest mystery to me right now#the crashing and the pikmin's motives we can chalk up to sci-fi nonsense#but what happened for them to just lose millions of years of records?#was there another apocalyptic event that caused them to lose everything again?#are they just bad at record keeping?#is that why so many of the races are obsessed with nostalgia?
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cw/ needles, eyes (?)
LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION
fanart for @paranormal-peri
#yeah#I FINALLY FINISHED#let’s not talk about how long this took#genuinely started tweaking out over his pose#not sure if i like it#anyways#peri#fop peri#society won’t let me caption it “that’s so skibidi#this crashed my app like#3 times#not cool#paranormal peri#how to lock in#defeat my seven evil assignments to find out#aurnart
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