#i spent too long on this today but idgaf

[dearestkong]

reflections // end-of-year exams🍓

it's the return of dearestkong~~ i finished my last exam yesterday, and i'll begin daily updates soon!! it's nice not to be in panic-study mode, but I still have a ton of work to do for university applications. here are some things on my mind.

the good (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

when it came down to it, i could face the inertia head-on. during the short hiatus i was studying 6 hours a day, most days.

utilising resources: notion has been a godsend!! it used to scare me, but then i realised i was putting too much pressure on myself to make it look nice. a bare-bones table is fine.

it was a tough week (weeks), but i got through it and only cried a few times.

tried to take good breaks. saw a lot (!!!!!!!!!!!!) of beautiful things and ate delicious food.

today i had the whole day free; that's incredibly rare because there's always some sort of obligation going on. so i spent the morning reading, i took a walk, i finished my book in a cafe. i went back to my tutoring job and saw the kids again. i watched tv while cleaning my room. i turned off my phone-- i was determined not to waste the gift so i ended up having a much more fulfilling time than i normally do. and as i think back on it, i was being so stupid. there's nothing that special about today. every day is a gift! if i can do that once, i can do it always.

the not-so-good (.◜ᯅ◝)

felt burned out within the first week of revision but i didn't feel like i was working hard enough. i never feel like i work hard enough, and the problem is that's backed up with fact in my head because i never managed to complete my to-do list-- i went into exams knowing that i didn't do enough question practice or only briefly skimmed some topics.

was overconfident on some exams and underconfident (?) on others. cried before one because all the stuff felt alien to me, but it wasn't even that bad fr. i need to chillax

accidentally met someone incredibly beautiful and was struck with longing during the whole week which is not exactly what you want uring a time of academic pressure, you know?

realised that even when i'm not actively relapsing, i'm still doing a lot of self-destructive things. sleeping at midnight before an exam, choosing my phone over the book i really want to read. staying in bed too long or skipping exercise to rot.. i know all those things will make me feel bad, but i do them anyway. i'm too mean to myself.

in conclusion I MISS POSTING. idgaf if this takes time out of my day, the self-examination really helps me. in the process of writing a new introduction because my pinned has kind of aged out of relevance, but we'll see how it goes. !!! onwards!!!

[dukeoftheblackstar]

I may take a bit to reply today or maybe not reply at all. I have the little silly dancers in their silly little dancing all up in my head today throwing molotov cocktails left and right and committing their pretty war crimes (arson mostly) all over while I just sit there waving a tiny white flag of surrender reading smut or poetry — or both at the same time, idgaf maybe idk. >:

So yeah, I'm not mad or ignoring anyone on purpose, I just am unable to do so today. Filling my head with comfort thots of bath-time with old man Plo and having his 18239128390128319083 babies — will also dabble so heavily on the creation of said babies , which is always a delight.

So if you're ever wondering if Plo's gonna be alright. No, he will not be alright. He will be on Duchii duty 24/7 beginning this hour. Will do things 100/10 to him frfr. He will be tired nd spent. But will be very much loved ♥♥♥ Send prayers LOL

Triggers be wild today again — getting a little bit more too handle with each day this week. Extra spicy. And I wonder if it was triggered by the text incident which happened again recently or it's because it just decided to.

It's the shittiest reason tbh. "it just decided to" — it's as if my brain suddenly just got bored and is all "Can't be happy all the time, babydoll. Why don't we make you extra neurotic today." And it does that silly dance that in spite of "it" — my brain, being a harbinger of bad news, I find the silly dance silly cute.

It's silly. It's the silly dancer. Just that little cute thing dancing while throwing molotov cocktails left and right in their little silly dance. I can't really hate them because they be so silly cute. But they're setting everything on fire and idk if I like that. I probably don't because then I have to do something about it. Actually do something about it.

I've cleaned though. I probably would again to extinguish the fire. Take out the meats from the fridge and clean the clean fridge. Put it back, stack them, and wait for god-knows how long before I do it again because oh my god, I seriously need a bigger fridge and it has to be done properly; always three — never more, never less.

And then the shower and bath conundrum on which takes precedence because I will do both. All inhibitions are out the door now, but I like it. I love water, you see? So bath and shower is like double the fun, double the fantasy maybe? Team Rocket from Pokemon but like, bath/shower maybe?

I wanna read though. Write too. Maybe watch. But it's there. The silly dancing silliness which makes me incapable of doing that. I'm just grateful they're kind enough to make me work when it's work time?

It's not a sad or pitiful thing in my opinion because it's me. They're little silly dancing silliness of me. I'm at peace with my shit, a condition I don't even know maybe? But I'm okay with it.

I'm okay with not seeing who's in the mirror. Like who's face is that because I love myself. I love wearing comfy clothing, love not wearing pants when I'm at home, love the marks on my body because I'm not exactly slender? Love my goddamn thighs that I'm afraid of scratching them? I'm okay with feeling like I'm on autopilot sometimes. I love watching my fingers shake sometimes because idk man, they're pretty gorgeous if you ask me.

I love them all. Love it more than I can and try to manage them no matter how many times they come back. Love it even when I cry because biiitch lemme tell you, I look cute AF when I cry. Real 'fuckmeupdaddy' face when I cry — I'm also equally unhinged all the time so. This is no surprise >:

I'm not vain or anything, but I've just come to terms with who I am and what can I offer. I don't shy away from compliments all the time because if you believe I'm that, I should always remember to have the moral compass to do the same. If you think I'm cute, then bitch yass. Because I owe it to myself for making it this far to put myself down.

So yes. Maybe I am gonna shower-bath at the same time. Remorsefully cut my nails for my own safety.

***

And here it is. I wrote all of that with the silly dancing molotov throwing arson committing silliness bebbis and they're just sat there all cute like 'awww did you burn me out off that wip I was actually enjoying, you cute little monster?" and they be so cute about like 'maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe'.

And now the wip and me is on fire and this cute little dancing silliness is just there silly dancing all cute and silly.

So now we're at an impasse and there's only one thing left to do.

Eat the little silly dancing silliness so they're back in their intricate little boxes. Cute little silly dancing shits they are, but I love them?

[jellie-bean]

Fallout 76: What We Know and What We Might Expect to See

Disclaimer: Not about gameplay mechanics (multi vs. singleplayer) but more focused on the lore and world building aspects of what the game could entail

Vault 76 is only mentioned three times in the other iterations of the Fallout series: twice in Fallout 3 (once in the core game and once in the Mothership Zeta dlc) and once in the prologue to Fallout 4. The mention in Fallout 4 is definitely a blink and miss it moment; it occurs in the prologue, where people are generally focusing on the other things going on rather than the news report that’s going on in the background while you’re puttering around the living room. In Mothership Zeta, we hear mention of Vault 76 in a captive recording done by the Zetans. And in the core Fallout 3, we find information on the vault in a Vault-Tec terminal located inside the Citadel. So let’s take a look at what each of these mentions tell us about Vault 76.

Fallout 4: The newscaster’s dialogue can all be found here (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Newscaster). He says that Vault 76 was debuted the previous year in alignment with America’s tercentenary; that is, America’s 300 year anniversary of being a nation. Beyond that, we’re not given much hard info on the Vault. We can assume that it must have been received well due to the continuation of the Vault program and the expansion the newscaster mentions, of more than 100 vaults.

Fallout 3, Mothership Zeta: Honestly, the least helpful mention of Vault 76. In MZ, you can find captive recordings of people (and a cow/brahmin) that the Zetans had abducted. One recording is of Giles Wolstencroft (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Giles_Wolstencroft), an assistant CEO of Vault-Tec. He had been inspecting the construction of Vault 76 when he was abducted. We don’t know if he was alone, as he doesn’t mention anyone being abducted along with him. It will be interesting to see if we get any mention of this guy in Fallout 76 (even if it’s just a small note on a terminal, I’ll be happy tbh).

Fallout 3, Core: As mentioned above, we find the most information about Vault 76 on a Vault-Tec terminal located in the Citadel, which was labelled as a Records Database source. All the information I list can be found here (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Citadel_terminal_entries), about halfway down the page. We can’t see anything about project goals, apparently whoever is logged into the terminal doesn’t have access to that section. However, we are told a few things. The main, most interesting thing is that Vault 76 was meant to function exactly as Vault-Tec advertised: this vault was a control vault. This means no wacky experiments, no weird administrative choices. It was meant to function as a clean, as-advertised vault. It’s listed as a DC area vault yet we don’t see it in Fallout 3 itself (this would support the theory that Vault 76 is located somewhere in the Virginias, ,which would place it close enough to DC to be included in that list). It lists the duration as 240 months (20 years) and it’s total occupancy as 500. This number is quite a bit higher than the other vaults listed in the same terminal but I find that nearly to be expected. As a controlled variable, Vault-Tec would want to make sure there was enough of a population so that any surprises wouldn’t probably affect the whole of the vault. The controlled variable in an experiment is just as important as the variables that were getting treated with the experiment itself: If Vault-Tec didn’t have a baseline to compare to (Vault 76, no experiments done, “normal” development) how were they to know that the reaction of the test subjects (for example, Vault 92 and how the people reacted to the sound experiments) was genuine and not just a “normal” behavior?  

And that’s it. That’s all we really know for sure. The Vault-Tec terminal mentions other things, like running a computer control system called Brainpower 4 (which makes me think of Robobrains, but we’re never really told what Brainpower itself is). This is the lore facts that we currently have for 76 and assuming Bethesda doesn’t mess up its own lore, we can list these as “facts”.

Except we do know of another control vault. Vault 8 (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Vault_8). According to Chris Avellone, who worked on Fallout 2 and New Vegas, released the Fallout Bible, in which he included some behind the scenes information (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Fallout_Bible_0#Vault_system). While not explicitly stated in Fallout 2, there was meant to be an opportunity to allow you to learn that Vault 8 was intended to be a control vault and open once the all-clear was given. And apparently that all clear would come...after 10 years, not 20. The resulting Vault City did not seem to be ravaged by nuclear waste nor suffer from anything that you could explicitly blame on the close timeline to the bombs dropping.

Suspicions!

Time Frame: the year on the Pipboy is 2102, 25 years after the bombs dropped and 5 years after the doors to Vault 76 were meant to be opened. Not much to say here, really, but will come up later.

Pipboy and Vault Suit: The Pipboy shown in the trailer appears more like the Pipboys from Fallout 1 and 2, aka a  Pipboy 2000.Which actually kind of makes sense. It seems like Vault 76 was one of the earlier vaults to be finished and it’s easy to assume that Vault-Tec went ahead and had the vault stocked with what materials they had at that point. They couldn’t have known when the bombs would fall so they needed the vault to be supplied, just in case. If Vault 76 was stocked before the newer versions of Pipboys were finished, Vault-Tec may not have seen a reason to go back and exchange them for the updated version. The suit also looks more in line with the older vault suits, like in Fallout 3 rather than Fallout 4. This would also stand with the earlier stock being styled differently.

The Party?: Reclamation Day:. Reclamation,definition: the act of claiming something back. It seems fairly straightforward that Reclamation Day would mean the day that the Vault opened and the dwellers were thrown into the Wastes, to reclaim America. But if the year is 2102, the original opening date was 5 years earlier, so perhaps they’re celebrating their (successful?) adventure into the Wastes. Regardless, I feel we can all agree that Reclamation Day is at least referencing their reclaiming of America. The video shown in the teaser is of a man encouraging the dwellers to rebuild, that that will be their duty post-war. Vault 76 was also built and released as the tricentenary celebration of America, it would stand to reason that such a...patriotic inspired vault would be encouraged to be the ones to rebuild America.

Climate/Weather: If the bombs only fell 25 years before the start of the game, you would expect to see the landscape completely irradiated and unlivable. That would depend in part on where the Vault is really located (DC area/Virginias or somewhere else entirely?) and where the nearest bombs fell. Of course, it could be a case similar to Zion Canyon in New Vegas. A super big storm blew/washed out majority of the radiation, leaving Zion Canyon to stay nearly pristine and natural. Could this have happened in the area surrounding Vault 76, perhaps only leaving pockets of extreme irradiation around a mostly livable area? Sure, it’s possible. Likely?....who knows, honestly. The closest thing we can really look at to gain any insight is the Chernobyl incident and how that area has reacted to radiation damage. It’s been roughly 30 years since the incident and for the most part, the area is still unlivable. Yet, this was a small scale accident (though not small scale in terms of loss, of course, it was devastating) and cannot quite compare with total nuclear annihilation. Except, like I mentioned earlier...Vault 8 opened its doors only 10 years after the bombs dropped and seems...fairly livable. They did take their G.E.C.K. from the vault itself to the surface so perhaps that had some influence on the livability of the surrounding ecosystem.

Creatures: I’ll admit, a good bit of this is simply speculation. Being 2102, one creature we may not see at all in Fallout 76...is the super mutant. We only know of three origins of super mutants: the labs within the Institute in the Commonwealth, Vault 87, and the Mariposa Military Base under the Master. The expedition that resulted in the Master’s mutations and his decision to make an army resembling his new form took place in 2102 - just like this teaser trailer-  in California. So we can assume that the Master’s army won't be seen in Fallout 76 simply due to the timeline and distance (assuming Vault 76 is in the Virginias). Likewise, the Institute didn’t restart their FEV experimentation until 2178. The only possible place super mutants could come from during this time frame is Vault 87. Super mutants were leaving the vault in order to find more people to turn into mutants. If Vault 76 is located in the Virginias or the DC area, its possible that the super mutants managed to make their way into that territory, though we can’t be sure that they would travel such a great length. Deathclaws did exist before the Great War and doomsday, but they were then refined by the Master with the FEV. We can’t be sure of their origins, so I wouldn’t be able to say for sure whether or not we could see them. For most of all other creatures (rad-stags, radroachs, etc.) the radiation wouldn’t have instigated mutations that quickly. Radiation doesn’t manifest as mutations in just a decade or two. Evidenced again by Chernobyl, 30 years later and the animals there suffer from lack of fertility, cataracts, and tumors but no known visible mutations as extreme as two heads or extreme size increase. We will probably still see irradiated creatures but probably not those mutated to the point that we’ve seen in all the other games.

Ghouls: Short and simple. Ghoulification can happen in an instant or over many years. Moira Brown in Fallout 3 will ghoulify if you blow up Megaton, which would be instantaneous. Other cases speak about watching their hair fall out, their skin peel off, a growing hunger, and many other side effects. You could go feral right away or stay “sane” and keep your mind. I highly expect that we’ll see ghouls, as their presence would hold up to canon as well as the fact that they’re one of the main figures of the Fallout franchise.

And that’s that! I didn’t do this to figure out if it was a multiplayer survival game or just the Standard Fallout fps rpg. I just wanted to look at the possibilities of what we could see lore wise and world wise. Any ideas? Did I get something wrong? Please feel to reblog, reply, or message me directly!

[ofstoriesandstardust]

back to december (lt. bradley “rooster” bradshaw)

a/n: we’ve gone too long without some angst. suffer.

summary: after all the time, Rooster agrees to have one last conversation, in order for the both of you to get closure. you find yourself asking him for one more chance.

inspired by taylor swift’s “back to december”

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist

warnings: swearing, discussion of depression and symptoms of depression, mentions of therapy, mentions of a grandfather passing away, angst with a hopeful ending, this takes place somewhere arbitrarily on the timeline post-TGM, this is self-indulgent, but isn’t that what all fanfiction is, references to the selection because i can’t help myself, i saw the opportunity and ran with it, this has a mildly unrealistic ending and this isn’t the best thing i’ve ever written but honestly idgaf

word count: 2,412

You sighed, fiddling with your cup as you sat down at a table outside the cafe. It was a nice spring day out, warm, with a gentle breeze. Not too hot, not too chilly. Perfect. Had things been different, it would’ve been a day you and Bradley had spent in your backyard, enjoying the sunshine, lazily reading books and working and chatting and soaking up each other’s presence. Your heart clenched as you thought about it, knowing you were the reason it wasn’t like that anymore. Knowing you were the reason it may never be like that again.

He sighed, the sound of the metal chair scraping against the concrete bringing your attention back up to him as he set his cup down. The two of you sat in silence for a few moments and then you blink. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.” He nods and there’s more silence. “So, how’ve you been?”

“Good.” 

“Work good? Everyone still flying good?” He nods.

“Yep, all still the best damn pilots I’ve ever flown with.” 

“Mav good? No more plane crashes?” 

“Yep, everyone’s all good.” You nod. 

“Well, the weather’s nice today.” You say, looking up at the blue sky, not a cloud in sight.

“Mhm.” He responds, taking a sip of his drink. You look at Rooster, knowing his guard is up and you’re the reason why. You know he’s thinking of the last time you saw him, when he tried to save the relationship and you left him behind, telling him it was for the best. You sigh, blinking back the tears that are starting to form. You don’t get to cry, you’re the reason you’re here in the first place. 

“How’re things going for you?” You aren’t expecting him to ask that, so your brain short-circuits and you freeze, coming up with the only response you can think of. 

“Good. Good. Job’s good. Family’s good. Good.” 

“You don’t sound good.” You chuckle a little bit at that.

“Yeah, I don’t- haven’t been sleeping lately. I uh, got diagnosed with depression in February. Not sleeping is part of all of it.” He raises his eyebrows a little bit. 

“Oh.”

“Mhm.” It’s your turn to put your guard up, not wanting to let Rooster see the worst of you. Another silence settles between the two of you and you chance a glance at your ex-boyfriend. Your met with the same brown orbs that you’d fallen in love with. He’s looking at you with concern and care and a hint of something else and you’re hit by a wave of memories.

-

Rooster’s hand is on your thigh as you laugh loudly with him, the countryside flying by. The two of you are on your way to see Maverick at his hangar and it’s at that moment, seeing your boyfriend relax as he laughs at your story, that you realize you’re in love with the boy. He glances at you. “What?”

You shrug. “Nothing, you’re just cute, s’all.” He squeezes your thigh in response, eyes on the road. 

“I love you, you know?” You take his hand from his thigh and it intertwine it with yours, squeezing it. 

“I love you too.”

-

You blinked, swallowing your tears as you watched the time on your phone tick by. The day wasn’t over yet. You could still call. Still text. There was still time to reach out. You groaned as your entire body screamed to do something, to let him know you still cared but you didn’t move, watching the time run out. As the clock hit 11:59 PM, you sighed, clicking your phone off and standing up from your dining room table. Your house was dark and quiet, much like your life had been since you’d broken up with Rooster. 

“Happy birthday Bradley.” You whispered. 

-

You sigh as you take in Rooster’s defeated figure, collapsed at his dining table. 

“Fuck, (Y/N), I am trying so hard here, please, just give me something.” You sighed, biting your lip. He’s crying and you can feel tears of your own rising up. 

“Bradley, you and I both know this was never going to work.” He whimpers, his hands coming up to cover his face as his sobs take over, muffled behind his hands. Your heart cracks and you usually would’ve sat down, taken his hands, and let him cry into your shoulder as you hugged him, soothing his pain. “I’m so sorry, but- but you deserve more and I- I can’t give you what you want.” His head shoots up to look at you and you grimace taking in his red-rimmed eyes.

“You! You’re the one I want! I don’t care about all this shit, I just don’t want to lose you!” A cold feeling washed over you as you picked apart his words, wondering if he really meant them. He wanted you now, but would he in a year? Two? Three? Were you breaking his heart or just speeding up the inevitable, when the two of you burned out? Would he just resent you for staying when you both know it was meant to end? And did he even really want you or was he just with you because of how long the two of you had been together, for what the two of you been through together?  

“Bradley, I’m sorry, but I can’t- I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. We’re done.” You  whisper and you watch as his heart breaks. The cracks in every piece of him falling apart as sobs overtake his body and he breakdowns at the table, shoulders heaving. Your heart twists as you watch the scene and you turn away, biting back your own tears. You grab your keys and before you know it, the front door is shutting behind you. You breakdown in your car, collapsing onto the steering wheel as your own sobs wrack your body.

Goodbye, Bradley.

-

He smiles at you as he jogs over from the game of dogfight football. You not-so-subtly admire the way his tan skin glistens with sweat as he presses a kiss to your cheek. “How’s the book?” he asks warmly and you shrug. You’d long stopped paying attention to the murder mystery in front of you, instead admiring your boyfriend and his pilot buddies as they played. 

“Oh, just thrilling.” He lets out a loud laugh as a warm feeling settles in your chest.

You could get used to that sound.

-

“Yeah, okay. Yeah, thanks for telling me Mom.” You say, swallowing the tears as Bradley eyes you. “Yeah, love you too. Bye.” You say and you move the phone away from your ear as you look at the table, eyes burning. “Sorry, I just- I had a feeling something was wrong and I needed to-” You sigh, taking in a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears. The relationship with Rooster was still fresh and new and you weren’t sure you were ready for him to see you break. He stood up wordlessly, gently taking the phone from you and putting it on the counter. He wrapped you in a hug and you returned it, feeling your guard fall down second by second. “He passed away tonight.” His hug becomes tighter around you as the first few tears break loose. “My grandfather’s gone, just like that.” A sob breaks free and he moves a hand to run through your hair.

“Shh, let it out baby, I’m here. I’m right here.” 

-

You blink the memories away as Rooster sighs, shifting back in his chair. “What do you really want here (Y/N)?” He asks and you shrug.

“I told you, I wanted us to both get closure.” 

“I got closure the night you walked out. Try again.” He states harshly and you flinched and shifted uncomfortably in your seat, sighing.

“Uh, well, I uh- I’ve had a lot of time to think about about what I did and especially why I did it. And uhm, not that it’s an excuse but uhm, I’ve come to realize my depression was the driving force behind the breakdown of our relationship. It- it made it really hard for me to feel like I could be loved, that I was worthy of love. And the bad thoughts got worse and I thought that maybe if I left then I wouldn’t- wouldn’t feel so shitty. But by breaking your heart, I broke mine, and it just made things worse.” You feel your throat close up with tears and you pause. The brunette shifts eyeing you carefully. “And uhm, a few months after we broke up I decided to get help for whatever I was dealing with because I realized that this shit isn’t normal. So I started seeing a therapist and um, it lead to a diagnosis and I’ve been doing a lot better now. But I still struggle with it because I uhm- sorry I’m-” You sigh, putting your head in your hands as the tears threaten to consume you. 

“Hey, it’s okay, take your time.” He says softly. You pull your legs put on your chair to sit criss cross, picking at the skin on your finger. He move over so slightly to set his large hand on your knee. You sigh, taking a deep breath, not daring to make eye contact with him as his hand never moves.

“It’s been hard for me to get to a good place because I still have a lot of guilt and regret about what I did. Bradley, breaking up with you was the worst mistake I ever made. You were- you were my best friend, someone I could just laugh all night long with. You knew exactly what I needed and you supported me no matter what. You treated me so well and I know- I know leaving broke your heart and it broke mine too. I regret it more than I regret anything else in my life and I am so sorry. And uhm, I want to ask for a second chance. I don’t deserve it but God- it- I know it’s so selfish of me to ask but I have to because I need to know and if you’ve moved on or don’t want to let me back in, I completely understand but I- I want nothing more. If you gave me a second chance, I promise I would do better this time, I would love you right, I- I would never leave again.” He inhales sharply, moving his hand from your knee and your heart sinks as he does. You wipe away your tears as they slip down silently as the man in front of you holds your heart in his hands. “I still love you. My heart has only ever been yours Bradley Bradshaw, and it will only ever yours to keep.” He crosses his arms as he looks away from you. You continue to wipe away tears as you watch the gears turning in his head. 

“What you did destroyed me.” And there it was. You nod, already moving to stand up. 

“Yeah, I know. And I’m sorry you can’t forgive me.” You whisper, grabbing your keys, as the tears burn your eyes. You’ve already broken down enough, might as well go home and lick your wounds without having to hear him list everything you did wrong and why his life was so great without you in it. He reaches out for your wrist, effectively stopping your movement. 

“Hey, I didn’t say that. Sit down.” He says nervously, almost as if you’ll say no and run again. You sit down slowly and it’s only once you’re fully seated, that he’s sure you’re not going to bolt, does he let go of your wrist. It burns from his touch as you try not to think about how badly you want to take it and just hold it in your own again. “Look, if we’re gonna do this, we have to start over. I need to see that you’ve changed. That you’re truly doing better, that you’re doing what you’re supposed to, that if things get bad again, and they will at some point, because it happens with mental illness, that you’re not gonna run again. I need to be able to know that I can trust you to talk to me about whatever’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours. And that if you’e not gonna talk to me about it, you’ll talk to someone.” You nod slowly, biting your lip uncertainly. He hesitates, clearly choosing his words carefully. “Look, I’m not saying that we’ll- we’ll ever get back together. I can’t promise that, because I don’t know if I’m going to be able to trust you again. But... but I’m willing to try. Because I loved you and I still love you and I will love you for the rest of my life.” Your heart flutters at the words but you try not to get too hopeful. “So, we can start out as friends, and we’ll go from there.” You sigh, feeling your heart twist, knowing you need to tell him the truth.

“Bradley, I’m all in or not at all because I will not survive losing you again. I- if you get to the end of this and realize you’ll never be able too fully forgive me- I can’t handle that. I can’t get you back, even just as a friend, only to lose you again.” 

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers. “Look at me.” You hesitantly meet his eyes. “I’m not. No matter what, I will always love and care about you and if you needed me, I’d fly halfway across the world just to be there. It’s gonna suck and it’s gonna take a lot of time, and we stand a good shot at figuring things out but even if we don’t- I’ll always be your friend.” You sigh, wiping some of your tears away. “What was that book series you made me read, the competition of princesses?”

“The Selection?”

“Yeah, that’s one. What was it Maxon said, my heart was only ever yours to break anyways? Well, (Y/N), my heart was only ever yours to break.” You don’t mention that Maxon had also told America that he could break his heart a thousand times if she liked. You knew the implication behind his words. “I love you, and I love you enough to work things out. We’ll figure it out.” 

[thesoleilla]

Flufftober Day 5: "Oh no!You're a morning person!"

masterlist Fandom: bungo stray dogs

Ship: Dazai x reader

Warning/Info: pre-existing relationship

Dazai with an s/o who is an early bird! The trauma!

Living with Dazai was a... risky decision to say the least. Not for you of course, from your perspective it was a living dream but for your productivity... it was a bit more complicated.

But the fact was... you didn't hate working at all! You had always liked to wake up early and work just as much as possible! Especially since you got your job at the agency, it was such a breeze!

You knew about how everybody said Dazai could be a big annoyance when it came to working, and it was the kind of thing you normally hated in people! However, you didn't ever understand how the others thought that about Dazai, in your eyes; he was just more on the joking side! But he never would stop anyone from working, right?

Well it was your first morning living with him, so you obviously put your alarm early, since you had work today! But of course it also woke up Dazai who was...not pleased. Not in the slightest!

When you tried to get up, something was trapping you in bed! And that something was... hands Dazai's hands and their long ass fingers  😩 

"Osamuuuuu~ I need to get to work you know! I want to stay with you too! Come with me we'll work together!" You whined, trying to escape from his strong, but loving grasp.

"Work? That early in the morning?! Oh no, don't tell you're... a morning person ?! -he dramatically gasped- Unbelievable!" He pouted, trying to get you to pity him; which was definetely starting to work.

"Yes I need to work, don't you also need to- Oh don't give me the puppy eyes- okay you know what fine I guess we can stay in bed, a -you yawned- tiny bit more..." You mumbled, your eyes already closing and your body turning to hug him.

You then proceeded to stay in bed until 1 pm. You guessed missing work was fine if you spent the break like that....

Okay these fics are getting worse and worse but idgaf I'm gonna sleep now bye

@flufftober

[gangrenados]

Helloooo fellow Venezuelan baby :))) ahora por favor te lo suplico, necesito mas Latina!reader x Jason Todd, you have no idea how much I love it, I love your content so much, you are an amazing writer💕

Imma use this emoji 🧚(hopefully its not taken) so u know its me cause, te voy a escribir a cada rato :)

Gracias chama, me hiciste el día 😭💖 ahora eres 🧚‍♀️ anon!!

So basically this is latina reader with a ton shit of influence on Venezuelan slang idgaf. These are all I could come up with rn, so enjoy!

•First of all and I don't know why this came into my head: I feel like from the bottom of my heart that Jason would like arepas. Yup, you have heard me.

They're easy to make and doesn't take much time to cook and fuck! You can eat them with almost everything.

Jason feels like heaven when he's all beat up after patrol and those arepas are just cooking in the pan, his mouth waters, while you're like "¿De pana este chamito esta cocinando tan temprano? Yo le habia dejado la comida en la nevera, no entendí mrc..."

•Jason doesn't mind punching an idiot whenever they make those nasty and racist comments, like "be careful, she might steal your money and runaway", "these wetbacks are ruining our country!" Or "damn the sex must be really good, latinas are just sex sluts, ya know? It's in their hips!"

Yeah, he will punch the lights out of those idiots.

•Jason is a polyglot, it's more than obvious that he understands Spanish almost perfectly, so he knows what you're saying when you're talking it:

"Jason, baby, can you come here?" You shouted from the kitchen and it didn't take him too long to be by your side.

"What's wrong?" He said groggily, apparently you woke him up from a nap.

"¡El bicho ese se bicho y no bichea como deberia de estar bichando!, help me please." You said quickly

Jason stares at you blankly for a few seconds before taking a look to the broken sink. He runs a hand through his hair before nodding." Let me see what I can do..."

•Some slang has stuck with him thanks to the big amount he has spent around you. Here are some examples:

°Dick and Tim still can't belive Jason shouted "mamagüevo" when he was thrown off a high building. That night was undoubtedly exhausting.

•He's not a big fan of being woke up at 8am on Sunday with music blasting through the speakers. Jason knows that that's the prime sing that today is clean day.

But to be fair, no one can resist señoras songs.

•The little things are his favorite: like when some you say a word wrongand you laugh before correcting the other in a sweet way, or when you have those silly fights over how things are 'supposed' to be pronunciated.

Also, when you see the original audio of old films and shows? Jason loves your weird out face.

"I can't believe Sherk sounds like this!" You said amazed as you shoved a handful of popcorn in your mouth." The latin version is better though..."

•Jason not the most avid dance in the world nor he likes when people see him dancing because it makes him nervous. However, I feel like he would be good in bachata.

Tag list @bathroom-sand @aterriblelangblr @simpery @strangerthings14 @jyarumu0619 @kellieriddle96 @adarksoul098 @rosethegothamhistorynerd @duckmylife18 @panic-attheplace @malfoys-demigod @darkraven1983 @magicisabluewish @hamdehlesmis @lucy-roo @lovelyartemisa @missmaskedwriter @c0-77 @ginevraxrogers @imagines-fluff-yandere-smut @shadygoateeprincess @nervousfandom @ghost-bitch @silverw19 @thegirlwholovesbooksblog @hecatemacbeth7 @unknowntoanyone @mistalli @screechingghostbananafarm @waroncheer @lady-stirling @ghostly-ginger @greeknerd007 @la-femme-lupita @jasonsballsack @violettessuniverse @wondergal23 @dreamxcollide @thirstiestpotato @magicalbeanie @dreamingforthosewholost

[wingsofackerman]

Sooo this might be a long request if you’re down?? Maybe where reader is transferring/ studying abroad and is from murica and shes kind of a bad ass. Resting bitch face, idgaf attitude, doesn’t let herself get yelled at so when bakugo yells at her she yells right back and he’s like ???? And ends up liking her. (Also a plus if you add that she’s curvy asf and has that 🍑🍑) 😌 Tysm I love your writing 😌

|| Hi there!! You're my first ever request! Thanks for requesting, and I hope you like what I wrote for you~ ❤ Sorry for the grammatical and typographical errors. ||

Everybody in Class 1A is thrilled once they hear that a new student will be coming for today, but Bakugo doesn't seem concerned and was nonchalant in his seat. Not like it matters- Will it even contribute for him to achieve being the number one hero? Definitely a no.

Once Aizawa entered, everyone settled back to their seats- giddy of meeting their new classmate. Mineta was already imagining perverted things about meeting whoever this new classmate will be. 

"Alright. Settle down..." He mutters sluggishly, leaning against the teacher's table, crossing his arms across his chest. "I'm sure you've heard about our new student, and I want you to behave." He instructed. "She's from America but she's no different to us. Do you understand?" 

Everyone answered positively, aside from Bakugo who just grumbled under his breath- "Just get this over with..."

Aizawa called you in with a nod to which you entered inside the class without any hesitation. Everyone looked at you in awe- well, aside from Bakugo who was too busy looking out of the window. You look really good- so foreign yet so beautiful. You have beautiful [h/c] hair, a pair of [e/c] eyes, and some pink plump lips. Your body was to die for as well- so thick, so curvy. It definitely caught Mineta and Kaminari's perverted attention. 

"My name's [y/n] [l/n]." You introduced yourself monotonously, chewing on a gum. They immediately thought that you were the cold type. Well, you really are. Despite how beautiful you are, you always had a resting bitch face on, and you never really gave a fuck about your surroundings. You have a tough personality, proving yourself to everyone that you aren't weak, and you won't just let anyone drag you down. 

The tone of your voice definitely caught Bakugo's attention. His crimson eyes glancing towards you with his chin propped against his hand. 

"Alright [y/n]. There's a space right beside Bakugo, you may seat there." Aizawa instructed, pointing towards the spot right beside a boy with blond spiky hair and a big frown on his face. He was attractive actually- just that, he doesn't seem approachable. (Not like you're approachable as well, but you're definitely friendlier than him) 

Your classes were great. Despite seeming like a bitch, everyone still approached you and introduced themselves excitedly. Of course you find it really nice and sweet, thinking that they might hate you with the way you introduced yourself. 

Over time though, you befriended Mina and Ochako. You expected that you'll be able to befriend your seatmate, Bakugo- but no. As expected, the asshole is unapproachable. You don't talk to him though, so that's that. 

But one day after lunch, you and Mina were teasing each other- pushing each other while laughing when you accidentally bumped onto his table. 

"Oh! I'm sorr--" 

"Watch it, bitch!" He snapped before you could even apologize, glaring at you. You were baffled by his reaction. Of course you didn't let that slide. You won't let anyone lash out at you just like that.

"I said, I'm sorry asshole!" You snapped back, glaring at him. 

He was completely taken aback, furrowing his brows as he stared at you. No one dared to snap back at him- well, not one of the girls that is, so he was really surprised. 

"Fuck you." He hissed, turning away from you. 

You rolled your eyes, huffing. "Fuck yourself."

Ever since then, both of you had been bantering against each other- yelling and taunting each other that the class had gotten used to 

One time though, Kirishima was teasing Bakugo. "Aye, Bakugo... At this state, you might start liking her." His friend nudged him, smiling teasingly. 

It's already expected that Bakugo will glare at Kirishima, even hit him with his quirk but, what's unexpected was the way his face turned red. 

"Watch what you're saying- Its disgusting!" He retorted, rolling his eyes. "As if I'll like that dumbass." 

Kirishima just laughed- knowing so well that he got him right on the spot. 

It only took days for you to settle down thanks to your classmates. Bakugo might be a pain in the ass, but you also find it fun bantering with him- most especially when he's the one losing. Through bantering with him though, you slowly started getting to know him, spending time together (not really in peace though, but still- ) sometimes finding him adorable when he blushes whenever you retort something embarrassing. Plus, he looks really charming when he’s quiet or whenever he’s studying.  You could see how determined he is with his studies and goals. 

Weeks passed by, and aside from Mina and Ochako, you got close to Todoroki as well. He's a nice and calm dude, unlike a certain someone. There are times where you and Todoroki will have study sessions together- sometimes joking around as well. It was fun actually. 

Bakugo noticed how you and Todoroki get along so well- and for some reason, it was pissing him off. You spent less and less bantering with him which was kind of new to him? Everyday both of you will be at each other’s throat, but now, you’re with that half and half bastard. Were the two of you dating? The thought made Bakugo groan, rolling his eyes- He doesn’t care if you do. Or does he? 

Back at the dorm, you were on your way to your room. You were busy fiddling with your phone that you didn't notice that Bakugo was standing by the hallway. 

"Oi, shit-face!" He called out. You were surprised by that booming voice, immediately turning around to see Bakugo glaring at you. His crimson eyes boring into you. 

You glared at him once you realized what he called you. "Piece of shit." You stuck your tongue out childishly before turning around to walk back to your room when he suddenly grabbed your hand and pinned you against the wall. 

"What the fuck? Bakugo!" You gasped, attempting to push him away with all your strength but he didn't budge.

His arms were caging you between the wall and him. The way his eyes intensely stared at you and the proximity between the two of you made your cheeks heat up. What was he doing? Is he going mad? Is he really going to kill you now? You've called him worse nicknames than 'piece of shit', and this what made him sensitive? 

"Are you and that half-and-half bastard dating?" He asked. His voice harsh and sharp. His glare was almost slicing you to pieces. 

Now you totally didn't expect that. You didn't know how to react and just stared at him in disbelief. Then, only for you to realize that this guy must've been jealous whenever you and Todoroki spend time together.

A smirk slowly creeps onto your lips while looking at him. "Why? Are you jealous, Bakugo?" 

His eyes widened, and his cheeks and ears turned red. "The fuck you talking about?! Of course not!" He yelled, stepping away from you and covered his face with his palm. 

You cocked up a brow in amusement, shrugging nonchalantly. "Alright then~" You were about to go again, when he immediately grabbed your hand. There was a satisfied smirk on your lips before you turned around to face him. 

"What?" You asked, trying to look as innocent. 

"Fine! I am jealous! Happy now, bitch?!" He snapped- his cheeks turning even redder as he gripped your hand tighter. For some reason, you wanted to giggle and laugh- finding him so adorable right now. 

"No. I'm not dating Todoroki. Happy now, asshole?" You retorted teasingly, smirking at him. He looked at you-- staring at you. Something definitely stirred inside you that almost made your heart leap out of your chest. The way he was staring made you feel a little self-conscious so you pried your hand off of his hold. 

"Now that you know… Let me go have some rest." You told him before you started walking towards your room. You only took a few steps when he called you again. 

"[y/n]!" It was the first time that he called you by your name which made you smile. You turned around, looking at him. 

"Be my girlfriend."

[sortavibing]

hii there, could i get a male romantic match up pls ?? i’m a infp, 5’3, virgo & slytherin. my pronouns are she/her & i’m bi. i love dancing, learning languages, music, memes, alt fashion, making people laugh, piercings, tattoos, making playlists & affection. i’m v insecure & i also have really bad anxiety so i lowkey need someone to take care of me bc i’m a mess and i always put others before me, sometimes i even forget to eat. my body type is curvyish, with chubby cheeks & brown eyes and i often dye my hair (it’s currently half black, half pink). i’m usually at home, whenever i go out i always put on my earphones. my music taste is very wide, i pretty much listen to everything. however, the bands/artists that i listen to the most are: lil peep, the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys & mother mother. i’m pretty opinionated and sarcastic, even though i’m an introvert i’m not afraid to talk back if i have to. i despise any kind of discrimination, having been bullied myself the first few years of high school. i use lots of “internet slang” on the daily and use emojis ironically. i hate being vulnerable in front of others, that’s why i always put an “idgaf” attitude even though i overthink everything. i kinda have trust issues and i’m very bad at expressing my feelings vocally, so i usually do it with affection, that’s why i consider it my love language. it’s really hard for me to say no to someone so people usually take advantage of me and even if i know it, i can’t stop it bc i just want to make everyone happy ): aaaa this was sooo long but i wanted it to be as specific as possible so it’d be easier for u. thank you so much, i hope you’re taking care of yourself properly. <3 <3

hello! thank you for requesting! you sound like so much fun to be around (we are lowkey the same) and i aspire to have your hair (i kinda screwed mine up today :I). anyways, here’s your matchup!

i match you up with iwazumi!

iwazumi is actually pretty good at comforting and caring for people, because he has so much practice helping oikawa, so he will always be there for you to remind you to eat, help you through a panic attack, compliment you, and just be a very stable anchor in your life that will ground you while still showing you affection.

he also thinks the alt fashion is really cool, and you were able to convince him to get a helix piercing, and though he pretends it was all your idea, he actually really likes it, and often looks for different studs/rings when he is out shopping. his favorite earring he has is one with 2 silver rings that are a little rough and handmade looking.

if you guys are out in a public place, he always brings a spare set of earphones and a portable battery, just in case you misplace your earphones or your phone runs out of battery. he really likes when you make playlists for him, and whenever he misses you, he listens to one of the playlists you made for him.

iwa really enjoys physical affection too, but he doesn’t initiate it that much, so if you guys are walking together, please hold his hand, because that will literally make his day. he would also be really good at giving hugs, so if you ever are feeling bad, he would wrap you in his arms and just stay there until you feel a little better.

he will always offer to help you touch up your dyed roots, and he’s surprisingly really good at it, so iwazumi has now become your resident hairstylist, and he secretly enjoys dying your hair, so while he does grumble a few complaints when he has to help you, he soon gets really into it, and even offers to try something a little more complicated, because he thinks it would look really good on you.

one of your most memorable dates was when iwazumi surprised you with tickets to an arctic monkey’s concert. you guys were almost late to the show, but once you got there, you and iwa spent the whole night dancing and singing with each other, and after the concert, he took you to your favorite place to eat (if it was open), and you spent the rest of the night and the morning just talking with each other and enjoying the city.

when he first saw you voice your opinion against discrimination towards LGBTQ+, and got into an argument with someone about it, he was really surprised and impressed that you were able to hold your ground and still keep your cool. seeing the side of you that was willing to defend what you believe in made him fall in love with you a little bit more, and he was sure to mention how amazing it is that you refuse to let people be discriminatory against others.

 iwazumi refuses to let people walk all over you, so if you ever tell him that you are uncomfortable in a situation and you don’t want to say no, he will immediately be there, in person or on the phone to shut down that person fast. he hates that people want to take advantage of you, so he will do everything in his power to show others that you aren’t just a girl who won’t say no.

he knows you like the alt fashion, so if he ever sees something that he is sure will look good on you, he will buy it and give it to you the next time he sees you, so because of this, a lot of your favorite items of clothing are bought by iwazumi, and whenever you wear them around him, he gets really proud that you like what he bought for you.

overall, you and iwazumi are the peak rbf couple, but you both care a lot about each other. he always makes sure that you put yourself before anyone else, because he just wants you to realize how beautiful and amazing you are. your relationship was built on a lot of trust, and you know he would never lie to you, because he just wants you to be happy.

i hope you enjoyed!

[hamonsurveysoverdrive]

Quintessential

Have you thought about an ex today???? Yeah, the kids' dad. Could you handle a long distance relationship??? Probably not. What are you listening to right now? Nothing. Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot to you? Yes. Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?? Not really. Do you know anybody who was abused?? Yes. Do you know anyone named Tom? Yes. Who was the last person that said "i love you" to you? My kiddos. How many people do you know with your name? One. Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? Target. How do you feel about the person who texted you last? She's awesome. Have you kissed someone in the past 24 hours???? Yepp. If you could change your eye color what would you change it to? Grey. Have you kissed anyone whose name started with S? Yepp. Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around??? Yes, several someones. Is this year the best year of your life?? 2020 is no one's best year. Do you have any strange phobias?? Yes. Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more? Yepp. How often do you see your ex? I see Drew pretty much weekly. If the last person you kissed needs you at 3 am and you could go, would you go? Absolutely. Do you miss your past? Some aspects. Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like? No. What side of a heart do you draw first? Left. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work? Work, yes. What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it? I have a backpack purse that is the map of Neverland. Nothing is in it, because I'm using my new purse now. Do you have a friend you can tell secrets to and you're sure they won't tell anyone? Yepp. Is there a secret you've never told your parents? Yes. Do you have candles in your room? No. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone for more than 5 minutes? My mom and her husband. Do you have your eye on anyone? I'm already with someone. Are you happy with your life at the moment? A lot of parts, sure. Some parts, not so much. What is something you disliked about your day? I have a bit of headache, but other than that it's been a GREAT day. What's the last thing you drank? Water. Who was the last person to tell you they love you? My kiddos. What are you listening to? Crooked Teeth - Death Cab For Cutie. Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today? Yes What's the last thing you said out loud? "Thank you." How's your hair looking? I need a haircut, but it's not looking too bad. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? Nope. Ever kissed in the rain? Yes. Are you sleepy? Yes. What TV show should never stop getting produced? Idgaf Happier on your own or with someone? I'm happier with Justin. Who's the last text you received from? Kelsi. Is cheating ever okay? No. Would you ever be the "other person", as in help someone cheat? I have before, it was a dark time in my life. Can you whistle? No. Waiting on anything? Insurance check. What shoes did you wear today? Black canvas sneakers. Name all the people you've seen today: Justin, Shonda, Andy, Max, Dad. In that order. What's irritating you right now? Nothing really. Do you like someone? Yepp. Where is your cell phone? Great question... Do you feel comfortable with answering personal questions? Obviously. Have you ever passed out? Yepp. Where is the person you miss the most at this time? Alabama. Do you have a best friend? I have a few. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yepp. Are your eyes the same color of your mom's or dad's? Closer to my mom's. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them? Yes. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes? He does smoke, and so do I. Ever found more than a dollar in a random place? Sure. How many of the opposite sex do you really trust? Justin, my dad, Needles. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? Nope. Did you tell the last person you liked your feelings for them? Yeah, that's why we're together. What time will you be getting up tomorrow morning? No specific time. How are you feeling at this exact moment in time? Great. Any weekend plans? Just hanging out with the kiddos. Will you be in bed within twenty minutes? I don't plan on it. Who were you with at 1 AM this morning? Justin, Liz, Zach. Closest pink object? Post-It note. Are you mad at anyone? Nope. How old will you be in 5 years? 37. Thanks for that. Are you watching TV while doing this? No. Last thing you ate? Mini quiches. Are you having a good hair day? Meh. Do you miss someone? Yes. Do you have any bruises? No. Are you hot or cold right now? Neither. Who are your last 4 texts from? Kelsi, Krystle, Justin, mom. What's your middle name? Victoria. What's your current favorite color? Grey. When is your birthday? November 2. What color shirt are you wearing? It's mostly black. Are you imagining anyone naked right now? I mean, now I am lol Do you want to see somebody right now? Nah Where is your mom? Either at home or out running errands. Speak any other languages? Not fluently. Do you like rain? Yes. What are you thinking about right now? These questions. What would be harder, for you to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back? Idk. Your best friend was caught smoking weed in the bathroom, how do you react? Depends on which best friend lol. Kelsi I'd be shocked, I'd probably laugh at the others. What's the furthest away from home you have ever been? NYC. Is there a chick that knows everything or mostly everything about you? Yes Who was the last person you cried in front of? Andy? How many cell phones have you had in your life? Too many. Do you currently have a hickey? Nah, but Justin does lol Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? Yes Look behind you, what do you see? My dining room table. What's on your schedule for tomorrow? Nothing in particular. Do you think that you're a good person? Mostly. Do you and your dad get along? Yes. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? One hour lol Can you see your purse right now? Nah Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? No. Are there products in your hair? Yes. Can you see a stuffed animal from where you’re sitting? Nope. Have you ever eaten cat food? No. Did you ever try to watch yourself pee when you were little? I'm sure. When you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy? Sometimes. Do you actually like sneezing? Not really? What about coughing? Nope. Have you taken a shower yet today? Not yet. How many pets do you have? A cat named Merlyn and a dog named Valentine. Do you actually like them? Yes. Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? I have more than one. Are the people who you hang out with at school considered your "real friends"? I do college online, I know none of my schoolmates lol Do you wear skirts a lot? I wouldn't say a lot. Mini skirts or longer ones? Mini. Do you basically live in jeans? No. Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Not a lot, but I have some. Name one movie you like and your favorite character in it: Gone With the Wind, Scarlett O'Hara. How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? Six? Do you wear white after Labor Day even though it’s against the fashion rules? That's so dumb Or do you hardly ever wear white anyway? I don't wear it that often Do you like hoodies? Who doesn't? Big ones or the form fitting kind? Big. Do you wear polo shirts a lot? Fuck no. Do you straighten your hair? Rarely. Should you straighten it? No. Have you ever gotten a real massage? Yes. When’s the last time you got your nails done? No clue. What was your favorite TV show when you were a little kid? Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Weren’t Nickelodeon shows much better back in the day? Yes. Do you remember watching The Secret World of Alex Mac? Yes. How about Rocko’s Modern Life? Yes. Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? Possibly? Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? Yes. Do you love pictures as much as every other teenager in the world? I'm not a teenager. Are orgasms cool? Absolutely. Are you organized or messy in school? I am a combination lol Do you love your siblings? Mhmmm Do you have a step family? I have a step-father. Do you like Advil or Tylenol? Ibuprofen. What grade were you in when you got your first period (assuming you’re a girl)? 7th. Do you like girls, guys, or both? Both. Do you love your reproductive organs? Uhm, sure. Do you love your computer? Yeah. Are you one of those people who never drink soda? No. Or are you one of those people who are addicted? Yes. Do you drink coffee? Yes. Do you think it actually gives you energy? Yeah. Do you like basically all of your clothes? That's why I bought them. Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself? Any of it. Do you honestly think you’re an interesting person? I can be. What song are you listening to? Float On - Modest Mouse. Why do you like that song? It's actually the only Modest Mouse song I do NOT like, but it came up on shuffle. What did your last incoming text message say? "I can rub it in his face without even actually saying anything." Look at your received call list. Who is number 5? I don't wanna get up to get my phone. Do you ever wish you were a different race, and if so, what? I don't think about stuff like that? Do hobos frighten you? No. What's the most you have ever spent in the crane toy machines? Not a lot. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Here. When is the last time you were in a hospital? After my car wreck. Why were you there? To check on my ribs and head. What is the most painful piercing you have had? The first time I got my nose pierced. Have you ever cried after one of your favorite sports teams lost a game? Once, when the Lakers lost the state championship against the Celtics. I was pregnant, okay?? Would you marry a 90-year-old billionaire? If he didn't want sex, hell yeah. Have you ever kept a fortune from a Chinese fortune cookie? No. Have you ever told a lover that they were good in bed, when they were not? No. Would you jump into a lake to save a stranger? Depends. Do you think your life story would make a great movie? Meh. What TV show world would you fit right into? Idk. Would you rather be in a room with Micheal Jackson or a rattlesnake? Neither. Have you ever gone to a bookstore at 12 AM to buy the next Harry Potter book? No. Have you ever been so bored that you counted cracks in the walls? No. Do you read while you eat? Sometimes. How long does it usually take you to drink a beverage? Depends on the beverage. What did you want to be when you were in kindergarten? A writer. What do you want to be now? Librarian.

[stormears]

misakiokui replied to your post “I might finish Chasm’s chapter 3 today. I haven’t updated that story...”

AYEEEE SO HYPED CAN'T WAIT JUST HOPE I GET A CHANCE TO READ IT CAUSE I GOT STUFF TO DO TONIGHT WHY AM I STILL USING ALL CAPS OH YEAH RIGHT I'M SOOOO HYPEEEEED AYEEEE EVEN IF IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY COME OUT TODAY STILL READY WOOH THIS IS LIKE A PARTY FOR ME OKAY NOW THIS IS AWKWARD GOODBYE NOW ������

So it was just today I realized you are the person to whom I said I would be done with this chapter at the end of March. By now you know that I am lying scum who takes way too long to write anything, but I did finish just now. Will edit tonight, not sure if will post tonight. 

So uhh I expected to reach a certain, VERY important Uchiha event at the end of Chapter 3 but I only got, like...1/3 of the way there by the end of this chapter. That event I wanted to show will be the end of Chapter 4, I guess. As I wrote this, I didn’t realize that I wanted to spend time developing the Sakura-Tsunade relationship and that’s mostly what this chapter is. There’s an interrogation and a lot of Tsunade and Sakura hanging out and feeling the ripple effect of the events in chapter 2. (Since lots of people saw Sakura talking to monsters in the middle of the street in chapter 2, and word is spreading) 

I’ve said this before, but the next chapter will not take this damn long to come out. Certainly not a year like this one did. I had a lot of unpleasant things happening a month or two after the Chapter 2 update, lasting into spring of this year, and now my attention is also divided between this fic and a Haikyuu fic, which no one who follows me cares about but idgaf, but anyway...I’m doing better, am less distracted and using my time more wisely, and I will write faster than last time for certain. 

I’m also thinking about capping chapters around 10k instead of 15k  - 18k because despite me totally being a slut for long chapters, I do realize how much it hinders my updating schedule and how much time I spent angry at myself for not being done yet. 

[bellarnyblakc]

heal the love and the love will stay

bellamy and clarke have a conversation before going into cryosleep. 5x13 slight au. 1.3k. also b*cho is broken up already somehow bc idgaf

He’d been chasing hope his whole life. Dreamed about it as a kid, trembling alone in the dark, too nervous to sleep in case Octavia awoke under the floor and started crying loud enough to wake the neighbours. He’d wondered, after his mother was floated and Octavia in prison, if there would ever come a time in which he wouldn’t feel like he was on a tightrope, ready to plunge into the abyss at the slightest misstep.

There had never been a day where he’d had the time to just breathe with absolutely nothing fighting for his attention in the back of his mind. The closest he’d ever had was on the Ring. Six years of pause. But it had always been a glitch, they were suspended in time and space, onlookers to the world where time passed and the world of brimstone and fire burned less brightly each day. All of them just waiting. He’d missed her so much it had felt like a stone lodged behind his ribs.

He watched her while the flurry of activity around them slowed as more and more people entered their cryosleep pods. She was lost in thought, staring at Madi’s frost covered pod and he yearned more than anything to smooth a thumb over the crease between her brows, and then trace the path his thumb had made with his lips. 

He was still angry. Hurt and utterly heartbroken that she’d left him to die without even a second’s hesitation, but he would forgive her in time, just as he had when she’d pointed that gun at him, and the time before when she’d chosen Lexa over her people, over him.

His anger could wait. 

She turned to him, met his eyes and smiled soft and tentative, hesitation dulling the shine she usually had in her eyes when she looked at him.

In the back of his mind, he knew the ten years would be over before he knew it. He knew he would wake up and not have felt the decade pass; that his wounds, emotional and physical, would still be as raw and sore as they were today, but in the almost seven years since landing on the ground, he’d learned not to take anything for granted. He had to tell her, had to let her know how much she meant to him before something else went wrong and he never got the chance.

The distance between them is suddenly too much, for all the six years they’ve been separated and the short time since that they’ve been together, he still doesn’t feel like he’s had enough time with her to fully believe she’s here; for his mind and heart to adjust to the fact that she’s now within reach instead of aching for her and mourning her. He takes several strides until he’s standing a hairs breadth from her. His skin prickles the way it always does, as if anticipating the feel of her body and, like always, he makes a conscious effort not to take her in his arms.

“You know,” he begins, and has to clear his throat before the storm starting in his heart begins to pour out in his voice, “I spent six years thinking about what I’d say, what I’d do if we’d had even just a few more minutes.” He lets the sentence hang, examining her face for any hint of hesitation, for any sign that her feelings have changed in their separation. Six years is a lifetime when they’d known each other so briefly beforehand, and he marvels at the incomprehensibility that she’d somehow managed to build a home in his blood and bones and heart in that short time.

“I talked to you every day,” she confesses and the pure emotion in her voice makes his heart clench. He nods.

“Madi told me,” and huffs a laugh when indignation flits across her features.

“I’m sorry –“ she begins, solemnity turning her features into marble once again and he cups her elbow to stop her.

“We both made mistakes. We just have to make sure we don’t make them again.” His fingers drop the length of her forearm, feather light, but she catches his fingers before his hand can drop

“How do we do better?” her question is earnest, both asking what she can do to earn his forgiveness and a promise that she will try harder to fix them.

“We talk.” He says simply and she lets the truth of it settle on her shoulders. They’ve always been better when they work together, make decisions together. She tries not to think too hard about how it would have gone if they’d just had a chance to talk, to understand what was going on and come up with a plan together. If they’d just been given the time and space and opportunity to understand each other’s point of view.

“I shouldn’t have left you to die.” she insists after a few contemplative minutes and he brushes a thumb over her skin, gentle and accepting.

“I guess we’re even now.” He jokes, and the attempt at levity about one of the biggest regrets of his life tastes only a little bittersweet on his tongue. It elicits a watery smile, just as he hoped it would; the same smile she gave him for all his other half jokes and their exchange settles the rioting inside his heart. This is them. This is their language, a mixture of spoken and unspoken, woven together with soft glances and purposeful touches all coming together to create something that only the two of them could ever understand and share. 

“We are good when we’re together.” She murmurs, seeking reassurance and confirmation from him and he doesn’t miss the subtle meaning underneath her words. They are good when they’re together, they make the right decisions when they have each other for advice and as sounding boards; but they’re good together in this way too, just the two of them and this fragile, inevitable thing between them that had been rising and falling like the tide. Before this, there had never been a good time to jump in and let the waves carry them where they’re supposed to go; always something or someone ready to interrupt them. 

The moment grows charged and electric, but it’s not uncomfortable, it just tastes like possibility and to Clarke it feels so much like the moments in Becca’s lab or by the rover. Both those times, one of them had shied away from this, too scared and uncertain to face it head on. She holds his gaze.

“What would you have said?” she asks in a whisper and he understands what she’s asking immediately, like she knew he would. He squeezes her hand as he brings it up to his mouth and presses his lips to her knuckles.

“I love you, Clarke.” He whispers against her skin and she lets his words wash over her, sink into her pores and etch themselves into her skin. She’d known, of course she’d known. Just as she’d always known that a little piece of her has been in love with him for as long as she can remember, but to have him say it to her after everything they’d gone through, that he could still love her after everything, was like a blazing fire in the chilly evening, warming her to her very core. He bends his head to rest against her forehead, eyes closed as if in prayer, her hands encased in his, clasped to his chest.

“I love you. I’m so glad you came back to me.” She breathes, and closes the distance between their lips. It’s just a soft press of mouths, a greeting, a goodbye, a love confession, possibility and a homecoming all in one. Bellamy kisses her back just as softly and she can’t tell how long they stand there, breathing in each other’s air, soaking in the warmth of each others skin, gaining strength and recharging from each other’s proximity.

They don’t speak again, but she holds his gaze as he puts her to sleep. And if she does dream, no doubt he will be there to greet her in her sleep too.

[maylovexhs]

Hi darlings! It’s May! So first thing first, THIS IS NOT AN IMAGINE OR UPDATE. ITS JUST ME TELLING MY EXPERIENCE ABOUT MY HARRY SHOW. YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT IF YOU WANT TO. I saw a bunch of people doing threads and posting about how wonderful their time is and I was like I want to do it! I, in no way am trying to show off or brag about it. I just want to post it here because I’m friendly with y’all and I’ll just have the story on here for safe keeping. So ignore if you want(I put the keep reading for that) but yeah here’s my concert experience. WARNING: BELOW THE CUT IS A LONG LONG LONG POST. ENJOY THE SHAKY VIDEOS AND MY ANNOYING VOICE. This all happened one month ago ughh procrastination is the devil

I WENT TO SEE HARRY FUCKING STYLES LIVE IN CONCERT NIGHT TWO MSG AND I BLEW A KISS AT HARRY AND HE BLEW A KISS BACK.

. . .

he knows I exist.

Harry Styles knows I goddamn exist.

okay, let’s me backtrack a day or two before my concert. Actually a week, shall we?

So, it’s a week before Harry’s shows in nyc and I’m at home in Brooklyn with no harry tickets for none of the nights because of course 1. Both nights are sold out 2. I couldn’t buy tickets online from strangers cause y’all ever heard of scams? So, I’m at home in misery cause all over my twitter all my mutuals are tweeting how excited they are to go and I’m like “fUcKiNg GrEaT!” I’m pretty sure I posted shit of me gloating on here. ANYWAYS FAST FORWARD TO JUNE 21st, 2018(Harry’s first night/show at msg) and I’m on my living rooms couch on twitter. AND I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS THE UNIVERSE SAYING ‘WE GOT YOU HONEY’ or just a coincidence but the first thing i See is on my timeline is a tweet from ticketmaster saying along the lines of “Due to miscounting . . . There are tickets available for Harry Styles at msg night two . . .SALE” and I . . .i can’t even explain how I felt. It was like destiny. Like “SIS YOU WERENT MEANT TO GET TICKETS A LONG TIME AGO YOURE SUPPOSED TO GET THEM NOW. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE” and I was like “fuck it! I’m going to see my mans in concert and I couldn’t care about how shitty the seats are. It’s Harry of all people” so, I download the Ticketmaster app and ask my mom and my chill ass mom is like ‘really? The day before? This is a sign. God must really want you to see harry” and I’m like “YES”. So I use my moms card(I payed her back after) and buy the two tickets. AND LET ME JUST SAY! THE TICKETS! I GOT LUCKY WITH THE TICKETS. My tickets were seat 8 and 9, row 7, section 113

DO YALL KNOW WHERE THAT IS? THATS RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAGE! THATS THE SIDE BACK OF THE STAGE. And remember Harry’s stage is 360 honeys so I was hyped up. Honestly I thought it’s row 7, it’s not like we are in front! It’s not like he’s gonna see us. I’m bringing this up later cause well, you’ll see. But just remember I’m row 7. So I print out my tickets and I text my friends “HOES GUESS WHAT?” And I immediately text my best friend emmy(her nickname) “BISH IDGAF ABOUT YOUR STRICT PARENTS I WILL DRAG AND SNEAK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THIS WE AINT MISSING HARRY. WE AINT MISSING SEEING THE MAN IVE BEEN IN LOVE WIG SINCE 2012” and thank god her parents said yes. Emmy and I spent like the next two hours like “Oh let’s make a sign that’s says sing Shania Twain still the one Harry!” and we talked about “what should we do in the city tomorrow before Harry’s show?” Our show day was a very busy day for us. Ready? Let’s go!

So, in the morning I had a college orientation with Emmy and my other friend(I’m calling her Anna for privacy reasons). I arrived there early so from 9:15 am, Anna Emmy and I were learning about our college and making our schedule. We left around 12:30 pm. Emmy and I decided to leave for the city after but we had to pee first so THANK YOU ANNA FOR LIVING CLOSE TO COLLEGE AND ALLOWING US TO USE YOUR BATHROOM. GRACIAS. Oooooh, fun fact: June 22nd was also my graduation date but Emmy and I wasn’t going in the first place so YAY!

Anyways we said goodbye to Anna and we took the train to the city. We stopped at canal street and went to Greenwich village? Why? My friend Emmy is a huge fan of Justin Bieber and 5 Seconds of Summer so we were just like “fuck it! Let’s go hunting for them! Maybe today’s our lucky day” so we are in Greenwich which justin was spotted in but with our luck we couldn’t find him. We were like ‘oh well! Let’s just stroll around’ so we walk and GUESS WHICH APARTMENT BUILDING WE WERE ABOUT TO WALK PAST BY?

HARRY’S. WE WERE ABOUT TO PAST HARRYS APARTMENT. WE WERE ABOUT TO WALK WHERE HARRY WALK. IM TOO HEADASS FOR HIM(btw I don’t stalk him, I didn’t stand outside his building, his apartment address is publicly online and I did not mean to walk past his apartment, IT JUST HAPPENED) I take out my phone and tell emmy where we were and luckily I took a sneak picture low quality of the building. BUT EMMY! EMMY! She was like “I WANT A GOOD QUALITY PICTURE!” Emmy goes, takes a picture of the doors and the security guards give her a mean look from inside the building. And we are like “ABORT MISSION! ABORT!” Moving on, we’re like if we can’t find Justin, we’ll try 5 Seconds of Summer. And guess what? We can’t find them either! At this time it was like, 3 or 4 Pm? And I really need to sit down cause ya girl has no energy whatsoever. So we take the train and go to the area where msg is and we get pizza. Btw msg area is mad busy. Like really busy. Continuing, we finish our pizza. We go check out the outside of msg and I learn that we aren’t allowed in until 6 pm(I heard it from girls outside) And i’m like okay? So Emmy and I buy and get these pride flags and we go to wait and sit outside where the driveway is. So we wait there for like an hour hoping we see anyone but we don’t cause that’s out fucking luck. But we saw like a dressing bag like the ones where suit and dresses are carried in. We highly doubt it was Harry’s suit but hey? Oh and I took a picture right here

Anyways it 6, we go inside, get through scanning and while we are in line, everyone decided to airdrop one direction memes and of course I joined

We were let in at 6:45 pm and we were going to our section. By going, WE RAN. Literally we had to be stopped by a security guard to see our tickets. I’m getting off point but we get to our section and I’m expecting us to be in the middle cause it says row 7. And Emmy tells me we are in the second row and I was just like “??? Our ticket say row 7” and Emmy shows me that the section starts with row 6 and I was just like “BITCH WE’RE CLOSER THAN I THOUGHT. WE’RE ROW 2 ACTUALLY”. So we were seated between where Sarah and Adam was going to be. This was our view

Then we put our shit down, I went to get my harry merch(I got a shirt) and we sat there in our seats waiting for Kacey to start at 8:30 and KACEY IS SO CUTE YALL HAVE NO IDEA SHE IS THE YEEHAW QUEEN. I USUALLY DONT LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC BUT THIS SISTER GOT SOME TUNES. Here’s me singing along(eXcUsE my cringy premature voice I’m 19) I was going crazy during crazy

Then Kacey leaves and we gotta wait another 40 minutes for Harry. I kid you not the whole arena was singing Olivia by 1d even the security guard was shook af

As I was saying, we had to wait 40 minutes more for Harry so it was like 9:30 and FUCKING FINALLY HE COMES OUT AND I SWEAR EVERYONE LOST IT 

ONLY ANGEL STARTED TO PLAY AND EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING. HE WAS SHINING IN HIS GODDAMN CALVIN KLEIN BLUE SUIT AND ISTG I KEPT TELLING MYSELF “BLOW KISSES AT HARRY! BLOW KISSES AT HARRY” SO THIS BISH HARRY COMES TO OUR SECTION I BLOW A KISS AT HIM LIKE THIS AND IDK IF HE SAW ME BUT HE BLEW A KISS WITH HIS HAND TO OUR SECTION AND YES IT GOT CAUGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA HOES

I WAS FUCKING SHAKING. CAUSE I WAS CERTAIN DURING THE CHAIN HE BLEW A KISS BACK AND IF HE BLEW A KISS AT ME DURING ONLY ANGEL IT WOULD BE THE FIRST OF TWO my heart is racing just remembering it. I’ll continue. So he finishes only angel and he introduces himself and he’s so cute I can’t even

Then they play woman and someone threw a bra on stage and I was screaming inside

Then they play Carolina, Stockholm syndrome, Anna, esny, jalboyh and finally fucking MEDICINE. I was going crazy during medicine as we all should. Sarah and Adam were fucking ripping the song up and I couldn’t be more proud. Then Harry talked to the crowd more and THIS HOE CALLED THE BACK(aka us) HIS BEST FRIENDS AND IM JUST LIKE THANK YOU. Then they start to play meet me in the hallway and the goddamn back screen goes down, blocking us from seeing Harry perform the song. EMMY AND I KEPT SHOUTING DISRESPECT AND THE GIRLS IN FRONT OF US WERE LAUGHING. then he the screen lifted up again as he finished the song and he goes down the walk to the b stage with mitch. Mitch is so cute fam. And we could see him get a bunch of flowers and I’m like “it’s what he deserves”. So he’s on b stage now and he begins to sing sweet creature and iicf AND DURING IICF WE ALL HAD OUR FLASHLIGHTS ON IT WAS SO NICE AND LIKE HEAVEN. MY BABY HARRY STARTED TO TEAR UP DURING THE SONG AND I JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM. OOH AND WHILE THEY WERE ON B STAGE, SARAH ADAM AND CLARE WENT OFF THE MAIN STAGE. ADAM AND SARAH WERE TALKING OFF STAGE NEAR US I THINK I HAVE A VIDEO BUT ITS TOO DARK. BUT BASICALLY THEY WERE TALKING AND I GUESS IT WAS ABOUT HOW THEY WERE PLAYING CAUSE ADAM KEPT MAKING A GUITAR GESTURE AND ADAM HAD SUCH A GREAT SMILE AND SARAH WAS SO HAPPY So Harry and Mitch come back and they all play two ghosts and then wmyb 

They finish wmyb and Harry talks to the crowd. He talks to a fan who was visiting from another country and he’s like “what did you do here?!?” being all excited. Then he talks to the girl who came with “I AM WITH CHILD” sign and then we found out she lied and harry criticizes her and he’s like “WE’RE ALL TRYING!” and I couldn’t stop laughing. Emmy said she lost some brain cells during that part. So harry begins to talk about sign of the times and me and Emmy were like “let’s shout FUCK TRUMP out loud”. WE DIDNT. We didn’t have the chance to but WE TRIED. The girls in front of us were smiling and laughing at us. I blame Harry cause he kept on talking so he couldn’t hear it anyways. Anyways sign of the times plays and everyone has their flashlights on. IT WAS MAGICAL.

So harry and the band leaves to do something and I’m like “wtf u going” so I start to record and they go under the stage. I guess they were doing a photo down there but they come back on a minute later.

They perform from the dining table and I WAS SO SAD I WAS READY TO FIGHT WHOEVER HURT MY BABY. then from the dining table was over and Harry’s like “I’m gonna sing another song” AND I FUCKING TOLD EMMY “WATCH IT BE STILL THE ONE” and BITCH I WAS CORRECT. So he brings Kacey on

They start to sing still the one and I was in my emotions fam and Kacey wore the rainbow dress and I was like YES QUEEN AND THEY BOTH MADE SO MUCH EYECONTACT IT WAS SO CUTE. Then Kacey leaves and they start to play the chain and I was like HELL YEAH AND DURING THE CHAIN HARRY SAID “DAMCE LIKE NO ONE IS NEXT TO YOU. YOURE NOT GOING TO SEE THESE PEOPLE TOMORROW” AND THAT HIT ME AND EVERYONE ELSE AND I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD THE WHOLE ARENA WAS SHAKING LIKE I COULDNT EVEN STAND BECAUSE I WAS AVOUT TO FALL FROM THE AMOUNT OF JUMPING GOING ON AND THIS IS WAS WHEN HE BLEW A KISS AT ME. SO ITS LIKE THE END OF THE SONG AND HE COMES TO THE BACK AND IMMEDIATELY START TO BLOW KISSES AT HIM WITH BOTH HANDS LIKE BEFORE AND I WAS PRETTY SURE HE SAW ME BECAUSE HE BLEW A KISS WITH BOTH HANDS IN MY DIRECTION AND THEN HE DID THAT TO ALL TE OTHER SECTIONS. BITCH I WAS SHAKING.

The chain ends and they start to play kiwi and I get sad af because I know it’s the last song and harrrys like “this is the last song” and inside I’m like “I KNOW HOE DONT RUB IT IN MY FACE” I have to applaud miss Sarah jones whose fucking drumming was amazing. She fuckingkilled it. Kiwi plays and everyone was losing their shit having the times of their lives and then in the middle of kiwi some girl splashed Harry with water and he sings “YOURE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT” HE GOES STRAIGHT SAVAGE AND SOAKS HER AND EVERYONE AROUND. kiwi finishes and Harry does the whale water spit and oh my god it was ICONIC AF. Harry leaves first then the rest of the band and I was just standing there like SHIT. Emmy had to drag me out. I felt wasted after the concert IT WAS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE. LET ME JUST TELL YOU IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO SEE HARRY LIVE GO FOR IT DONT MISS YA CHANCE. A WHOLE DIFFERENT SIDE OF ME EMERGED THAT NIGHT SO THANK YOU HAROLD I HAD PROBABKY THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE THANKS TO YOU. EMMY AND I GOT TO DANCE WITH OUR PRIDE FLAGS AND WERE SO HAPPY. HARRY MAKES HIS SHOWS SO WELCOMING AND HAPPY. MISS CLARE IS SO CUTE. MITCH AND SARAH ARE SUCH PARENTS AND ADAM IS SUXH A GREAT FRIENDLY PERSON I MISS THEM SO MUCH THATS IT I MISS MY CONCERT SO MUCH I CRY

ALL PHOTO AND VIDEOS ARE CREDITED TO ME AND MY FRIENDS. DONT STEAL. I’ll post the full versions of the videos i have on my twitter. TUMBLR IS A DICK FOR ONLY ALLOWING GIFS of them. 

Btw should I also write about my 5sos iheartradio experience and seeing Harry at the Dunkirk premiere? Tell me if ya want to know byeeee

[bettyjugg]

Got tagged by the gorgeous @beanie-betty

last (1-5) drink - water

phone call - my mum

text msg - “love love love”

song you listened to - IDGAF by Dua Lipa

time you cried - I just watched all of the victim statements from the Larry Nassar case and have spent the last 4 hours crying because of them :(

ever..? (6-11) dated someone twice - haha yes! i dated 2 guys twice, alternating.... so I dated P then J then P again the J again (whoops)

ever kissed someone and regretted it - yesss

been cheated on - well we weren’t ‘official’ but he slept with someone else 10 minutes after I left a party.....

lost some1 special - yes

been depressed - ummm I’ve had some really really low lows, but luckily I don’t think I’ve been depressed

gotten drunk/thrown up - yes and yes, but i haven’t thrown up because i was drunk fav colors (12-14) pink and turquoise 

in the last yr have you.. (15-21) made new friends/ mutuals - I sure have and I love them all

fallen out of love - with family members

laughed until you cried - you bet cha

found out some1 was talking about you - haha yes...

met some1 who changed you - yes!

kissed some1 on your FB friends’ list - yep

general (22-51) how many of your FB friends do you know irl - all of them, and i’m really strict with people that I accept

have any pets - no and i never have :(

do you want to change your name - no, I love my name

what did you do for your prev. birthday - it was my 21st so I had a bug party with close friends and family

what time did you wake up today - 6:45am (work on a sunday sucks)

what were you doing @ midnight last night - legit the tv in my living room turned on by itself at midnight exactly so I had to get up and turn it off

what is something you can’t wait for - this week’s riverdale episode, and hawaii in july

what’re you listening to atm - my ceiling fan ticking

have you ever talked to a person named Tom - I sure have

something that’s getting on your nerves - my best friend spending all her time with her boyfriend and not me

most visited site - youtube or tumblr

hair color - really dark brown, almost black

long/ short hair - short (well shoulder length)

do you have a crush on some1 - I did, but it’s kinda faded this week

what do you like about yourself - my leg flexibility

want any piercings - nope

blood type - its O but not sure if positive of negative

nicknames - Elle, Smell

relationship status - single as a pringle

zodiac - gemini

pronoun(s) - she/her

fav tv shows -friends, riverdale, outnumbered, glee, the fosters, suits ( and so many more omg)

tattoos? - none and i don’t want any

rightie or leftie - righty

ever had surgery - yesss, plastic surgery in 2016

piercings - just my ears

sports - SWIMMING, DANCE, tennis and AFL

vacation - Canada 

trainers - white! more general (52-58) eating - nope

drinking - water

i’m about to watch - nothing because im going to bed

waiting for - going to see the maze runner tomorrow

want - a boyfriend

get married - i mean yeah, but it’s not an important concept to me, I think a lot of things would be easier if people didn’t get married haha

career - teacher

which is better (59-65) hugs/kisses - kisses

lips/eyes - lips

shorter/taller - taller

older/younger - both, i don’t mind

nice arms/ stomach - arms omg yes

hookup/relationship - relationship

troublemaker/hesitant - hesitant, I can’t deal with any more troublemakers have you ever (66-75) kissed a stranger - nope

drank hard liquor - nope

lost glasses - sunglasses!

turned someone down - ahh all the time lol

sex on 1st date - no

broken a heart - don’t think so, but sorry if i have!

had your heart broken - by friends, but not by a boy

been arrested - no

cried when some1 died - yes

fallen for a friend - sure have

do you believe in.. (76-81) yourself - yes! 

miracles - no, but I do believe that things happen for a reason

love @ first sight - no way

santa clause - no

kiss on a 1st date - i mean yeah, kissing rocks

angels - no

other (82-85) best friend’s name - J and C

eye color - brown

fav movie - THERE ARE TOO MANY

fav actor - THERE ARE TOO MANY!!!! (but at the moment, Lili Reinhart, Margot Robbie and Dylan O’Brien)

Tagging: @wistfulwolf @softieparker @bettyscooperr @stilinsk1

[warriorblossom]

No makeup. No hair products. No filters or photoshop. In the past, I would have never posted this picture, and it probably would have been deleted instantly after being taken, because OMG someone might say something mean. 🤦‍♀️ IDGAF anymore. I have spent too long putting myself down(and letting others put me down) based on SHALLOW opinions that DO👏NOT👏MATTER👏. I love the lady in this picture! I feel great, I'm not still stuck in a revolving door of drug/alcohol abuse, eating disorders, toxic relationships, self loathing, and hate. I'm blessed with a family(and circle of friends) that loves me even on the days I don't fully love myself. I started small(seriously, I have to tell myself "You've got this, today is going to be a great day" about 100x every morning before getting up) and I'm still working on bettering myself every day. I may still be awkward AF most of the time, and not everyone's cup of tea, but at least I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. I guess my point is, showing yourself a little positivity and love every day can make a BIG difference on your mental health and general wellbeing. Stay Happy.😁 Stay Hydrated. 💦Stay Healthy🏃‍♀️ and try to love yourself for who you are, not who you think other people see you as. 💗

[halleyschoices]

My post-chapte/new book release feels: 

the sophomore chapter was over in the blink of an eye, yet the RoE chapter was never ending?? 

honestly thought MC writing a good review of Natasha’s band would have made Kaitlyn more pissed. Glad that was no biggie. Maybe Kaitlyn is starting to have some character development. 

MC not wanting to go to the sorority party was the biggest mood ever. 

i wanted my dinner date with chris, damnit! 

hey, at least we got finally got Becca’s last name tho 

Poor Maddison. :( 

RoE was good but long 

seriously thought it was just gonna be dins 

*throws diamonds at Violet* 

Violet & Chaz are adorable. Fight me. 

MC and LI are ENGAGED but don’t share a room for some reason? idk 

oh a rowboat on open seas, what could possibly go wrong? 

SERIOUSLY, HOW LONG IS THIS CHAPTER?? 

i hope aunt mallory drowns 

HSS WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THROWBACK OH MY GOD 

the red hair was worth the diamonds idgaf 

was that the theme song from Surviving High School?? 

no you don’t understand I played SHS years ago when it came out and TO THIS DAY it has been my fave app ever like i was effing blown away when i played it and replayed it so many times and i have searching for something as good as that since, like i remember how you could PLAY football and had to pass tests it was honestly the best fun ever pls bring all this gameplay back 

i don’t think i like any of the LIs yet tho. 

...can i join the football team as a girl? (project for next chapter) 

i spent too many diamonds today and forgot that i need them for next ES chapter. shit. 

THEY’RE ANNOUNCING TRR2 RELEASE DATE, YO! 

i hope we don’t have to wait too long 

i have to resign my duties as i am emotionally compromised 

[howlingbarnes]

Yuanfen - Part 6

Characters - Bucky x Reader, Steve - tons of Steve

Word Count - 2374

Warnings - Angst

A/N - This part got away from me, it's mainly about Steve ngl. I swear this series has its own mind. Please dont hesitant to tell me what you think! This is an AU. 缘分 (Yuanfen) is a Chinese word that has no direct English translation and (roughly) means “A relationship that is brought together by a force such as destiny or fate.“

Yuanfen Masterlist

You walked up the steps to Steve’s front door, the loud click of your heels against the wood ringing in your ears as you neared the door.

Steve didn’t live like you. He lived out of the city, right in the suburbs in a cozy house that he’d bought just before you’d met. You didn’t understand how a single guy with no real family could function in a neighborhood like this. Each house was at least two stories, had a garage, a porch and a well-kept lawn. Some of Steve’s neighbors had basketball hoops attach to their garages, others had playground sets or pools in their backyards, signalling that they had children.

It was the kind of place where the all the kids would be called into their respective homes for dinner at the same time. They’d go inside and wash up before sitting down to a warm, home cooked meal with both of their parents and maybe a sibling or two. A table where they’d talk about their jobs and school as if they hadn’t just had the same conversations the previous day. Cookie cutter people living cookie cutter lives.

Then there was Steve. He sure looked like he belonged in this area; the way he dressed and carried himself helped him fit right in. However, he’d wake up way too early in the morning, before the mothers rose to get their children ready for school before setting off for work themselves - a few staying behind to tend to younger offspring. This is the time that Steve would set out of every day to casually jog “a few miles" as he calls it. He’d return back to his two story, three bedroom, two and a half bath to take a shower and get dressed in the clothes he’d neatly laid out the previous night. He always made sure that he smelled nice; a unique sweet-spicy scent that was specifically his. He’d commute to the city, making him one of the few people you knew that actually owned a car. He’d return home alone to a big, dark, empty house where he’d make himself a simple yet healthy dinner and hit the reset button.

The free time that Steve had, the only time that he really got to have a good time was spent with his friends. When many of them branched off, got married and started having kids, the time he spent with them changed. He’d stop by their homes for a beer and a game, playing the role of fun Uncle Steve to his friends’ children and maybe staying for dinner. He didn’t have a girlfriend and there was always a reason for that; he was either too busy or simply enjoyed being alone and drama-free.

That left you, though you had a business relationship, the two of you were still friends. Hell, he was your only friend at this point and you were content with that. Steve turned to you from time to time and when you weren’t attached to the little bubble you called home, you were partners in crime. Going on bar crawls from time to time, getting various meals and treats together around the city, and having movie nights with a couple pizzas and popcorn. Steve’s life was simple and predictable, he liked it that way but things were starting to change and he wasn’t sure of how much longer he could keep it from you.

Coming to a stop, you cleared your throat and lifted your fist to the door, you nearly punched Steve in the shoulder as it swung open without warning. He gripped your wrist and pulled you inside before wrapping his bulky arms around your shoulders in a tight hug. Steve hugged you often but there was a difference between his ‘hello' hugs and his ‘there's something wrong’ hugs. Judging by the way how hard he was pressing your body into his, something was up.

“Woah. Hey, Beefcake,” you yelping in surprise, slowly letting your palms smooth over the thin grey t-shirt he wore. You rubbed calming circles into his back, your brows knitting together in confusion as his massive frame held a subtle shiver that you wouldn’t have felt if he hadn’t had such a hold of you, “what’s wrong?”

You kept your voice low and leveled but just the sound of it alone was enough to make him give you a squeeze. It was as if he was drowning in his own darkness and you were his lifeline, his guardian angel sent to pull him from the turmoil and if he let go, he would fall back into the pit. He said nothing for a moment, letting his nose tickle the spot just behind your ear, a spot he claimed carried your natural scent. It relaxed his hold slightly, the tightly wound nerves in his belly starting to unwind, giving way to his emotions.

“Steve, wha-" you started to repeat your question, but instead received one in return.

“Do you think I’m a bad person, Y/N?” Steve muttered into the column of your neck, the heat from his breath sent a shiver coursing through your veins but the question itself left you perplexed.

Your hands trailed down to his waist where you pushed, creating space between your bodies until he was forced to allow you to hold him at arm’s length. You looked up at him, a stern expression settling on your face when you realized that he was avoiding eye contact. Dipping your head, you lifted his chin until his sapphire eyes finally locked with your own, fear crawling around within them as they blurred with tears that he tried desperately to hold in. This wasn’t your Big Guy, what you were looking at was a struggling man with something wicked eating away at his conscience.

“Why would you ask me that?” You couldn’t help the tremble in your tone; he was setting off your anxiety and it was starting to put an unmanageable weight on your chest. You’d never seen Steve like this before but instantly, it’d became a state that you never wanted to see him in again.

“Because I’ve been doing something horrible and,” he took a breath to steady himself, his eyes darting around the room as the tears fought their way down his cheeks, “I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“Steve,” his name left your lips in a hushed whisper as you used your pinky to brush away the tears that were starting to drip from his chin, “talk to me, what’s going on?”

“Y/N, I - I’m,” he shook his head, letting it fall forward. He couldn’t look at you he was afraid of what you would think of him, afraid of how you’d respond. Clearing his throat, Steve gathered the last bit of courage he had left before speaking again, “I’m having an affair.”

“What?” The disbelief and disappointment in your harsh whisper made Steve wince, a fresh batch of tears fell in line with the streaks lining his cheeks. “With who?”

“I can’t tell you,” he answered, shaking his head. With a sniffle, he lifted his head and met your stony glare, “I want to, but I can’t. It started out as something that I had to do but then I started to like it and now it’s just out of control. I don’t want this anymore but she has something on me and I just - I don’t know what to do!” His voice grew louder and more panicked with every word. He was shattering to piece right before your eyes and you didn’t know how to glue him back together. Steve was always there for you and you knew you had to do the same.

“It’s okay,” you mumbled, rubbing his up and down his arms as you attempted to soothe him, “what can I do?”

“Just, please stay with me tonight. I can’t be alone right now.”

You nodded at the request. After pulling off your coat, you took Steve’s hand in yours and lead him to the large, comfy couch in his living room. The line between business and personal was not only blurred, but completely erased as you leaned your back against the armrest and pulled Steve down to rest his head on your chest. You let him cry while you carded your fingers through his once neat, dirty blond hair. Silence hung in the air, save a few sniffles and sobs, as you let your hands work over his warm skin and muscles. You had never been good at calming others, you were always the damsel in a whirlwind of crippling depression but for once, you felt like the strong protector.

Sunlight melted through the soft curtains in Steve’s living room, letting you know that you had in fact fallen asleep. You weren’t sure when it happened but you figured it was the soft humming you did to relax Steve that put you out. Friendly fire.

You glanced around the house. It was just as pristine as the last time you’d been there, everything having its own place. Your eyes found the ceiling as you stretched under Steve’s weight. Normally, he’d be up long before this time but he managed to exhaust himself. It was understandable, you couldn’t imagine the mess he’d gotten himself into and as you studied his sleeping features, you wondered just why he would put himself into such a situation.

Though the outfit you wore the previous night was brand new, you couldn’t help but to feel gross after spending the night in it. Body heat creating a layer of sweat between the garments and your skin.

Doing your best not to wake Steve, you slipped from under him and tip toed up the stairs to his bedroom. It only took a minute or two to find a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to borrow before making your way to the bathroom. You opened the linen closet once you’d slowly pulled the door closed and sure enough, it was stocked with plush towels and washcloths, all of which were folded and organized.

“Like a normal fucking human,” you grumbled to yourself, remembering the awkward encounter you’d had just twenty-four hours prior.

After a hot shower, you slipped into Steve’s clothes and towel-dried your hair. Using the toothbrush that you’d left there forever ago after a movie binge sleepover, you brushed your teeth and tied your hair up into your signature ‘idgaf today’ messy bun.

When you finally got back downstairs, Steve was awake. He had a cup of coffee in his hand and he looked a bit better than he did last night. Wordlessly, he handed you one of the to-go cups he’d kept on his kitchen counter. You always wondered why he bought those things but in this instance, they came in handy. He was more practical than you could comprehend.

“I’ll give you a ride, I have to go into the city anyway.”

That was all Steve offered that morning until he pulled up to your building. The rest of the ride was wrapped in a comfortable silence. You were okay with that, you knew he appreciated your comfort and you weren’t exactly a woman of many words before twelve o’clock anyway.

“Thank you,” Steve sighed out as his car came to a stop in from of your apartment building. There were so many other words dancing through his mind, so many other forms of gratitude that he wanted to show but before he had a chance, you pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m always here for you, Beefcake.” You shot him a wink that coaxed a small smile from him before you stepped out of the car with your belongings in your hand. With a subtle wave, Steve pulled off.

Stepping off the elevator, you huffed a heavy sigh at the realization that you didn’t have a key to Bucky’s apartment. You trudged over to the door and knocked, though it only took a few seconds to open, it felt like you’d been standing there for hours.

“Hey,” you offered a greeting to Bucky. His expression was sour as he looked you up and down before scoffing and moving out of your way. “Who the hell pissed in your Cheerios?”

“You know what, Y/N?” He glared at you, arms folded across his chest. If looks could kill...well..you know. “If you didn’t want to hang out with me, you just had to say so and I would have let it be.”

“Bucky, what are you talking about?” The shock and confusion of his misplaced anger sent you into a panic.

“It’s James,” he retorted with a raised brow, “we’re not friends, remember? At least have the nerve to tell me that you’re going to ditch me for a booty call next time.”

With that, Bucky retreated to his room. The door slamming so hard behind him that it made you blink. His words left you standing there with your mouth hung open, mortified. Yet, for some reason, you couldn’t explain why your heart felt like it was breaking in your chest. Without permission, your legs carried you to Bucky’s bedroom door. You didn’t think, you just flung the door open and marched up to where he stood, making him freeze from the pacing he’d been doing.

“You don’t get to do that, okay?” You’d lost control of your emotions, and you weren’t sure of how to reign them back in, “I didn’t ditch you, I went to go help a friend that’s going through a really hard time and you took it upon yourself to pass judgement on me.” You could see Bucky’s hard expression start to waiver at your words. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; you don’t fuckin’ know me,” the last five words capitalize with a harsh poke to his muscular pec.

“Let me get to know you then, Y/N.” It was as if you were talking to someone else all of a sudden. Bucky’s features softened along with his voice, guilt and regret lining his tone. You were right and he knew that, something that made him get his emotions in check.

“Fuck you, James”

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