dearestkong

[dearestkong]

tuesday in my moleskine pocket daily diary 💌

[dearestkong]

(through gritted teeth) sometimes what's good for your mental health isn't another do nothing day or a little treat sometimes what's good for you is putting in some of the work. Not all of it at once but sometimes you have to finish that essay or at least take the next step or you have to clean your room or at least dust the shelves or you gotta do the laundry or at least put it all in the hamper and it's not fun and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks but you have to because i read a post on the internet that told me that's what being nice to yourself is sometimes

[dearestkong]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[dearestkong]

how to write that 17-page essay that’s high-key giving you anxiety

so it’s 4am and you’ve had three cups of coffee but you’ve only written two sentences. you look at the prompt and find it has ceased to make sense. “how the fuck am i gonna turn this into a 17-page paper” you ask. 

never fear! your friendly neighborhood college fuckup is here with an answer. buckle down and get another cup of coffee; you’re in this for the long haul. (literally. this post got long because i’m apparently incapable of writing short posts, but i also pulled a 3.9 cGPA using this method so i’d say it’s worth the read.)

first, a cheat: email your professor and ask if you can use subheaders. subheaders eliminate the need for smooth transitions between portions of your argument and also create a ton of white space, which can help you reach page count. 

second, a tip: don’t be afraid to meet with your prof. this essay probably isn’t a take-home exam; it’s likely that your prof set this paper to give you a chance to learn and write about something you enjoy. shoot your prof an email saying “hey, this is what i’m thinking, this is what i’m struggling with, can i meet with you to talk it out?” 9 times out of 10, your prof will say yes. if they say no, talk to another prof in the same discipline. otherwise talk to your uni writing center or a friend of yours. worse come to worst, shoot me a message.

what you’re gonna do now is outline the fuck out of your paper to procrastinate actually writing it. 

step 1: take apart the prompt. it’ll be asking for a few different things; mark these things with different cues: brackets, underlining, different colored pens, whatever. this structures your response.

if you don’t know your thesis yet, that’s fine! let it develop naturally as you conduct your research and plan your argument. you can change it as you go - that’s the point of researching the topic. no one will know what your first draft thesis was.

step 2: look at the dismembered prompt. write bullets with brief explanations for how you’ll attack each part of the prompt. these can be detailed or as vague as “look up that one reading and use it as a counter argument.” then figure out the best way to organize the bullets. if nothing makes sense, that’s fine too. you can write each chunk of your argument and structure it later.

these bullets make good subheaders. js.

step 3: under each bullet from step 2, list out what info and evidence you need for that aspect of your argument. don’t worry about details yet; focus on structure. write these bullets as though you’re talking to a friend about what your argument is and why is works. let it be stupid. let it be simple. say shit like “freud was a bitch and i can prove it.” 

step 4: now that you have a rough draft of your outline, go back and fill in the details. remember, you’re still outlining! you’re basically redoing step 3 with the bullets you made in step 3. this is the part where i take the most time and put in the most effort.

i tend to reach page/word count easily if my outline is half the length the paper needs to be, so i keep outlining until i reach that point. this ratio might be different for you. if you can figure out your ratio, it can tell you if you need to look for more info or if you’re good to go.

make a note of what you’re citing but don’t worry about actual citations. i like using gdocs because you can easily paste a link to your source in a comment. this way, the sources don’t clutter up your doc or artificially inflate your page or word count.

be silly! be stupid! use swear words and memes and internet lingo. you’re just outlining right now; you don’t need to sound smart and professional. you should be focusing on what you want to say, not how to say it.

by the end of this process, my outline is basically my paper in bulletpoint format, without any fancy jargon or quotes or cited evidence, and usually not in complete sentences. i’ve essentially tricked myself into writing my paper by saying “i’m just outlining, it doesn’t really matter.” it’s also less daunting to write the rest of the paper when you know you already have 9 pages done instead of 0.

step 5: write the damn thing! open a fresh doc for your paper and view it side-by-side with your outline. now you get to make your bullets sound pretentious and academic. insert quotes and other evidence. turn “freud was a bitch” into “freud knowingly perpetuated several falsehoods for the sake of his personal gain, thereby undoing decades of progress in the field of psychology.” 

don’t worry about citations right now, though! do what you did in your outline and insert the citations as comments at the points where they need to be. creating citations will interrupt your flow.

step 6: once your paper is done, go back and add citations! this can take up to an hour depending on how many sources you have, so budget your time appropriately. 

holy shit! you just wrote a whole damn paper! i’m proud of you, buddy. go buy yourself a milkshake and take a nap. 

[dearestkong]

上岸上岸上岸上岸上岸上岸上岸上岸上岸

[dearestkong]

08.04.2025

• I have so many half finished drafts and I’m just going to forget about them and move on.

• I’m doing a productivity challenge and I haven’t posted once and I’ve highkey been slacking but I’m here so things are looking up. I’ll start making the posts about that tomorrow.

• The past weeks have been good but also not. I feel like I never seem to thrive at multiple things at once. But I won’t stop trying.

• I did some viola practice and also vocab Flashcards. The performance might be in July and I can play one of the pieces fairly well and the other isn’t too hard so I’ll definitely be ready by then.

• Unfortunately I have two exams in July and the chances of the performance and an exam being on the same day is insanely high. All I have to do to avoid disaster is start studying early enough and take my time and also practice consistently till then. Give myself no reason to crash and burn. Very simple. Haha.

• I decided to set some non-negotiable tasks for the productivity challenge. I plan to keep at them afterwards though. Preferably for the entire quarter. I’m aiming at forming some new habits.

• It’s nice to feel determined again, I just hope I can hold on to it.

🌳: 37mins

📖: The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern. I actually haven’t touched it in a week but whatever💀.

☀️: Bumped into a friend and also called my mom.

[dearestkong]

you ask a student in april how they're doing and they'll say "oh i'm fine" but in reality they are treating themselves in such a way that violates the geneva convention on treatment of prisoners

[dearestkong]

I have my written final exams in 2 months. I needed a very long journalling session to get my motivation and reasons to the front of my head and here are the (shortened) results, for anyone maybe going through the same thing (although it's pretty personalised)

I have 2 projects going on. I would physically not manage to cram everything last minute this time, why I need to start now

There is a lot more material to cover, sometimes even 2 years instead of one semester. I need more time

The higher my grade, the lower I can score on my uni aptitude test and so have a higher chance of getting in

If you study a lot, you will avoid stress on your exam day, preventing the negative spiral

A high grade is part of the goals I set for myself

I want to feel satisfied walking out of the exam hall

If I study a lot I will not feel less shitty afterwards - because if you tried your best there is nothing to regret

It is the last "academic journey" in high school for me, might as well try my best

So that is why studying will bring me satisfaction in the long term :)

[dearestkong]

yuki's january review + february goals

what a messy month.

hours studied: 67 hours

not my ideal month by any means but i did make a lot more progress than the hell that was december. the little progress made this month really fuels me to do more in february, i feel as though good foundations have been laid for quite a lot of things.

this month's wins: made a studyblr. made new friends. structured a lot of plans and developed a lot of new and healthy habits! also slowly increased the study stamina from 1-2 hours daily to 5-6 hours daily. cried bitterly about my failures and it gave me the push to do more.

goals for february:

academics:

study hours: 250~, consistently post on my studyblr even if it's just a short post, maintain my research doc daily, learn how to learn, stick to this month's planned tasks, learn how to study more efficiently and productively, build up my stamina, keep updated in current affairs

personal: stick to my diet properly, get into a haircare routine. start meditating. improve mental health. quit maladaptive daydreaming. workout consistently. maintain my daily logs. don't let my emotions get the best of me.

my maladaptive daydreaming has been getting worse as of late; it's not exactly impacting my studies (i've managed to control to this extent, but I still feel exhausted and mentally drained when I allow myself to daydream on my walks or during chores)

i'll put a tracker as well to not daydream!

[dearestkong]

what Work is the most important? the work you have to do next. narrow the scope of focus down to that singular glittering point.

[dearestkong]

today's stupid 6h of notes bc trying to get 2 weeks' readings done this week (bc fully ignored them last week lol oops (damnit past-me))

[dearestkong]

I needed this drag. Let’s change guys and not look back

[dearestkong]

Chore Scorpion: I come from the toughest meanest place you can imagine. I want to be gentle, I want to die gently, but It seems that when life gets hard I have to get harder to match.

[dearestkong]

@nanthegirl @megumi-fm @zzzzzestforlife @winryrockbellwannabe @kraro-school-life @gajina @princessmacabre @academicazura @solarsapphic @jadeclaimedflowers @zooxanthellae @lovecorrin @ashs-reverie tagging mutuals: I WISH THE BEST FOR U GUYS AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO SEES THIS!! I LOVE STUDYBLR !!!!!! WE CAN DO IT

🐰DEARESTKONG ANNOUNCEMENT! (i got into Cambridge)

hello! this blog is dead as fuck but I have something to say. when I started dearestkong a year ago I was in the most shit place ever. bad sleep bad screen time and relapsing every other day. my diary tag is FULL of records of failure. i saw myself as a complete wreck of a successful person.

today, i got an offer for Cambridge. i’ve wanted to study there for years, and now i have the chance to.

☆彡

i’m proud of myself for working hard. this blog helped with getting stronger, and i was inspired by my brave mutuals even when i stopped posting. (i’ll tag some of the ones that i remember !!!!)

but: somehow I’m still sleeping late, and i still have issues. and it’s still not completely okay. i really thought i would get rejected and cry myself to sleep tonight. a year ago I thought id have to be a perfect person to get in, now i know that’s definitely not true. i spent a while just now going back through my old posts; I’ve grown a lot, but I still don’t know what the fuck im doing. still disorganised and awkward and not all together.

but it’s gonna be alright! i have rock solid proof.

wishing everyone happiness!! peace out, i have to do my overdue homework now

tldr NEVER KILL YOURSELF it always gets better studyblr trust me

[dearestkong]

🐰DEARESTKONG ANNOUNCEMENT! (i got into Cambridge)

hello! this blog is dead as fuck but I have something to say. when I started dearestkong a year ago I was in the most shit place ever. bad sleep bad screen time and relapsing every other day. my diary tag is FULL of records of failure. i saw myself as a complete wreck of a successful person.

today, i got an offer for Cambridge. i’ve wanted to study there for years, and now i have the chance to!!!!

i’m proud of myself for working hard. this blog helped with getting stronger, and i was inspired by my brave mutuals even when i stopped posting. (i’ll tag some of the ones that i remember !!!!)

but: somehow I’m still sleeping late, and i still have issues. and it’s still not completely okay. i really thought i would get rejected and cry myself to sleep tonight. a year ago I thought id have to be a perfect person to get in, now i know that’s definitely not true. i spent a while just now going back through my old posts; I’ve grown a lot, but I still don’t know what the fuck im doing. still disorganised and awkward and not all together.

but it’s gonna be alright! i have rock solid proof.

wishing everyone happiness!! peace out, i have to do my overdue homework now

tldr NEVER KILL YOURSELF it always gets better studyblr trust me

[dearestkong]

Okay so last night I complained about being glued to my screen more than I’d like to be. So this morning I decided I’ll do something about it <3 the purpose of documenting it here is so that I hold myself accountable on my blog instead of writing it down in my notes app and negating it like two seconds later. And also so it’s easier for me to be like “bitch enough” whenever I catch myself scrolling through my Tumblr when I absolutely should not be. I plan on increasing these rules (progressive overload) or decreasing them (too much too soon) depending on results, but for the next week it’s:

Cannot get on my phone until I’ve drunk water, done my am skincare routine/taken my am shower, and taken my am supplements.

Phone in the morning for 15 minutes max. Otherwise I cannot be on my phone until noon (I wake up pretty early so this gives me like 4 hours of no phone time).

Also cannot get on my phone after noon unless I’ve studied at least two hours beforehand.

Need to study 2 hours for every 1 hour I’m on my phone until 6 pm.

Can use my phone liberally after 6 pm ONLY if I’ve: hit my study goals, done my Anki flash cards that are due, and finished my workout (or walk) of the day. Otherwise, the previous rule applies.

Need to read a book for at least 30 minutes in the day. This can be thrown in whenever, but preferably before bed.

Need to set aside 20 minutes after 6 pm to do pm skincare routine/take pm shower.

[dearestkong]

01.08.2025

what happens to the promises we make to ourselves the first week of january? among my resolutions this year are two classic aspirations—eating better and reading more. back in university, i used to complain endlessly about not having time to read for pleasure, blaming the relentless churn of assignments and exams. now, with a full-time job, i’ve realized that the excuses haven’t left; they’ve simply evolved.

toward the end of last year, i noticed something curious: i wasn’t just neglecting books; i was actively avoiding them, using “too tired” and “too busy” as flimsy shields for procrastination. reading—a former love—had somehow become a chore. but today felt different.

fueled by a hearty poke bowl, brimming with nutrients and good intentions, i finally dusted off a book that’s been staring at me from my desk for months. as i turned the pages, i felt a flicker of something familiar—an energy that wasn’t just from the omega-3s in the avocado and seeds but from the joy of reconnecting with an old habit.

i’m hoping my return to tumblr, another space that used to bring me joy, will help me stay motivated and accountable in sustaining these goals. small steps, perhaps, but they feel like the start of something meaningful.