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aquaminwrites · 6 years

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Skin Deep: 08

Pairing: Yoongi x Tattoo Artist!Reader (M/F) Genre: Friends to lovers, slow burn. Eventual smut. Rating: 18+ Warnings: Sexual situations, the 95 line being...the 95 line Word Count: 5.5K

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A/N: Only two chapters left! Say it with me--FINALLY. I hope you enjoy. PS. Smut next chapter. That is all. Let me know what you think!

You can’t remember the last time you were so nervous.

Showing up unannounced at someone’s place is completely unlike you, but after your talk with Namjoon, you feel emboldened and want nothing more than to see Yoongi again. Two weeks is the longest you’ve been without hearing his voice or seeing his face since the two of you became friends all those months ago. You hadn’t realized how much you’d adapted your schedule to include him until he was suddenly gone.

You manage to slip through the lobby of the building just as another resident is leaving, riding the elevator up to the seventh floor. You find yourself standing in front of his door now, nothing separating the two of you except a slab of wood.

You knock. Once, twice, three times.

You’re met with nothing but silence.

The breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding escapes your slightly parted lips in a sad sigh, and you think to yourself that maybe you should have called or texted him beforehand to at least make sure he was home.

But Hoseok said he’d been holed up in his place for the last few weeks, not even stopping by HopeWorld to watch Jimin and Jungkook dance like he usually did, even before he’d known you.

You wait another minute before you lower your head, and begin to dejectedly turn on your heel. It’s at that moment that the door swings open, and you’re suddenly face to face with a very stunned looking Min Yoongi.

God, it feels like an eternity since you’ve seen him. His inky hair is a little unkempt and dark circles are forming under his eyes, his loose black t-shirt hanging limply off his frame. He looks a little thinner, sallow, and it breaks your heart to know that you are the cause of this.

“Y/N…” he whispers out, voice pitched slightly in confusion. “W-what are you doing here?”

“I…” you begin, unsure of what to say. You offer up a small smile. “Can I come in?”

That seems to snap Yoongi out of his daze. “Yeah,” he replies, stepping aside to usher you in. “Yeah, of course.”

The apartment is just like how you remember, albeit a little messier than the last time you were there. Yoongi used to joke that he never really had company before, and ever since you started frequenting his place, he kept it pretty much spotless. It seems as if he’s reverted to how it was before—not horribly messy, but definitely more cluttered than it had been since your last visit.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Yoongi asks as he moves from the doorway over to the kitchen.

You shake your head, gesturing to the couch. “Can we talk?”

You notice as he wipes the palms of his hands against the denim of his jeans. “Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

You sit down on one end of the couch, and Yoongi sits on the other, as far away from you as possible. You look over at him and frown.

“Do you hate me?”

He seems shocked by your question, whipping his head over to balk at you. “What? No, of course not. Almost the exact opposite, actually,” he states with a forced sounding laugh.

You bite at your lower lip before quietly asking, “Then how come you’re all the way over there?”

He gapes at you momentarily before acquiescing and scooting a little closer. Not close enough to make you uncomfortable, but not far enough to make it seem like he’s avoiding you.

Your lips quirk up just a touch before you’re turning away from his gaze, staring down at your feet. The two of you sit in an awkward, uncomfortable silence before you finally speak up.

“I’m sorry.”

Yoongi can’t help the scoff that escapes his throat. “Don’t do that.”

You immediately look back at him, confusion painting your features, your forehead creasing slightly as your brows furrow. “What?”

“Don’t apologize,” he clarifies, sounding so tired, weary down to his bones. “Don’t apologize to me like you did something wrong. It just makes me feel like more of an asshole.”

Your lower lip begins to tremble without your permission, and you clasp your hands together in your lap as you return to fixing your eyes to the ground. “Sorry,” you rasp out again. “And…sorry for saying sorry.”

You can’t see him, but you can tell that Yoongi’s shoulders are slumped, his back hunched as he sighs loudly beside you. “Look…this…this isn’t how I wanted this conversation to go. When I’d imagined us having this talk in my head, it was so much simpler. And I just—h-hey, are you crying?”

“No,” you hiccup, hastily swiping at your eyes, fully turning your head away from him. You feel the couch cushions shift as Yoongi moves closer, and then you feel his arms winding around you as he tugs you to his chest.

“Baby,” he murmurs, rubbing slow, comforting circles against your back. The term of endearment doesn’t escape your notice, and you allow yourself to relax against him, breathing him in for the first time in weeks. “Please don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying,” you mumble, which is immediately followed by a sniffle. Yoongi croaks out a laugh, his shoulders shaking gently as his grip on you tightens. You find yourself laughing too through the tears, and you swear you feel the gentle press of his lips against the crown of your head.

“We’re really bad at this, huh?” He asks quietly once you’ve calmed down.

“Yeah,” you can’t help but agree, though you make no attempt to move from his grasp. He takes that as a sign and grips you tighter.

“I should be the one apologizing to you,” he admonishes. “The way I spoke to you that day…I had no right. It was fucked up. I shouldn’t have tried anything, shouldn’t have tried to kiss you, especially after the run-in with your ex. Definitely shouldn’t have blown up at you afterwards, as if it was your fault, or something.”

Yoongi sighs, his voice starting to waver.

“When you never called me back or texted me, I just…I assumed you hated me for what I said. I figured that I lost my chance with you, the first person in a really, really fucking long time that I’ve ever cared about. I’m not…I’m not good with emotions, and I’m not the best at expressing myself when it comes to these things. But all I know is that you are the only person in the entire fucking world that I want to be with every single day.”

You shift away from him just enough that you can look into his eyes, his confession startling you. This is the first time you’ve ever heard Yoongi speak this way, and you bite your tongue as he continues.

“I want to learn everything about you, and I want to learn new things with you. I want to teach you piano and sound production, and I want you to teach me about tattooing and its history. I want to be able to hold your hand and wake up beside you, and it kills me every day that I can’t, because I want to. I want to so fucking badly. And when I said those things…the way you looked at me made me feel like we were strangers all over again. And I fucking hate myself for hurting you, Y/N. You deserve better. You deserve more than I can give.”

The silence that settles between the two of you is palpable, and Yoongi can’t help but shy away from your eyes. He sniffs loudly, trying to play it off as if he isn’t on the verge of tears, and you let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“What if…” You clear your throat, taking hold of one of his hands. You love his hands—they’re the hands of a musician, of a creator, of a poet. “What if I don’t want ‘better’?”

Yoongi looks at you, confused. “W-what?”

“What if I don’t want ‘better’?” You repeat with a little more conviction. “I still owe you an apology, Yoongi. Even if you don’t think that I do. I led you on—maybe because I liked the attention you gave me at first. But I do really like you. And I promise you that I’m not lying about that. I should have told you sooner. And if Namjoon hadn’t showed up at my shop that day, I know that things would have been different. What if we’re both just fucked up, damaged people, and all I want is you and everything that comes with you? What if I want you to teach me piano, and to teach you about tattooing? And what if I just want to kiss you in front of your friends just to get them to shut up?”

At this point, it’s hard to tell what Yoongi resembles more—a human, or a fish out of water.

After a second, he blurts, “Wait, what?”

You can’t help but giggle at that, bringing your finger under his chin to close his mouth before dropping your hand back to grasp onto his. “Everything that you said that day was right. Sometimes I feel the need to save people, and it can be self-serving. And maybe that’s why what you said stung so much, because no one has ever been that transparent with me before. But honestly, looking back now, I needed to hear that. The reason why I never called you back or texted you was because I was too scared to listen to the voicemail you sent me. I thought maybe you’d gotten drunk and called to yell at me again, to tell me that you never wanted to see me and that whatever this was,” you gesture between the two of you, “was over. And I didn’t want us to be over. Not when we hadn’t even begun.”

You sigh, shaking your head.

“I spent a long time being part of a couple, and I lost a lot of who I was in the process. And then through therapy, and by just being alone, I was able to figure out who I was again. I felt empty for a really, really long time. And then when I met you,” you smile, biting your lip slightly, “it was the first time in forever that I actually felt whole.”

Yoongi tilts his body to face yours fully, his eyes shining with desperation. “I need you to know how sorry I am about what I said. It could have been a conversation, but instead I just…fucking exploded. If I could take it all back, I would. Every day, I think about how lucky I am to know someone like you. You make me a better person, and I actually like who I am when I’m with you. When I said I wasn’t expecting to fall for someone like you, I meant that I never expected to know someone as kind, as smart, as talented, and as earth-shatteringly beautiful as you. I mean, look at me. I’m basically a goblin by comparison.”

That earns a genuine laugh out of you, and you swat genially at his chest as you shake your head. “I don’t know. You’re pretty cute for a goblin.”

“I mean it,” he insists. “Well, not so much about the goblin part. But the rest is all true. I never had a reason to like myself before I met you. And then you came into my life and you changed everything. You mean so fucking much to me, you know? The two weeks we spent apart were some of the most miserable I’ve ever experienced, and that was just because you weren’t there with me, in my studio, sitting on my couch, pretending to draw and watching me work on my music instead. I don’t know how you did it, but you became my everything, and I just…I need you.”

“If it’s any consolation,” you admit, “I was miserable without you, too.”

Yoongi shifts to scratch at the back of his ear, a bashful smile on his face. “That kind of makes me feel a little better, yeah.”

You giggle, and then take a second to just look at him again. You take in the softness of his gaze as he watches you, the tiniest upward curve of his lips, the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. His eyes dart down to your mouth, lingering there for a moment, and it takes a second to register how close he is now. You can nearly count every single one of his eyelashes as you feel the warmth of his breath dancing across your skin.

Yoongi blinks, his eyes searching yours. Finally, he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

You breathe out the tiniest sigh of relief, unable to stop the smile that spreads across your face. “Yes. Please.”

Your eyes flutter shut as he brushes your hair away from your face, and you feel your heart thrumming in your chest at the anticipation. But to your surprise, you feel Yoongi’s lips press gently against the curve of your neck, over the lines of your peony tattoo. The sensation makes you shiver, and you can tell that he’s smiling gently against your skin.

Yoongi continues, kissing softly up your neck as you tilt your head to give him more access. His lips find the edge of your jaw, and you feel your heartbeat pulsing in your ears. He trails sweet kisses along your cheek, his hand coming to caress your face. He angles you towards him just slightly before his lips finally find yours, and it’s like the entire world falls away until there’s nothing remaining but you and him.

His lips are soft, but also a little hesitant as they move with yours, almost as if he’s still asking for forgiveness. You bring your hand up to cover his own that’s cupping your jaw, pulling away for just a second. He doesn’t shy away from your gaze, and you smile, running your thumb along his fingers in a comforting gesture that tells him It’s alright, I’m sorry too, I want you, I need you, I forgive you.

And so he kisses you again.

You tilt your head slightly to change the angle, deepening it as he lets out the tiniest moan against your mouth. His tongue traces along the seam of your lips and your hands move to card through his soft, silky hair as you open for him. Everything about him is overwhelming—the taste of his tongue as it slots against yours, the feel of his hands as they slide under your shirt, thumbs massaging gentle circles against your waist.

Months of longing and desire, secret subtle touches and fleeting glances all culminate in this moment, and you allow yourself to sink into the feeling of kissing him, kissing Yoongi, the man who completely changed your life without you noticing.

He shifts and pulls you onto his lap, your knees falling on either side of his waist as you straddle him. Yoongi tugs you impossibly close, so close that you’re grinding against the growing ache that begins to stiffen in the confines of his jeans. You place a hand on his chest and pull away from him, though you don’t want to, and press a soft peck to the corner of his mouth.

“I spoke to Namjoon.”

Yoongi’s hands don’t stray from your hips, but he narrows his eyes, lips flattening into a thin line. “You really want to talk about your ex? Right now?”

You sigh, running the pad of your thumb along his cheekbone. Like a man starved for affection, he leans into your touch, eyes fluttering shut momentarily as he basks in the sensation.

“I just…” You begin, taking in all the details of his beautiful face. “He was a big part of my life, but I want you to know that I don’t have feelings for him anymore. I don’t want that to ever be a thought that crosses your mind. He knows how I feel about you, and he respects that. But when I got together with Namjoon, we rushed into things. And I don’t want to rush with you.” Your eyes dart down to the growing bulge in his pants before shifting back up to look at him. When you do, he’s blushing. “Is that…is that okay?”

Yoongi replies by kissing you again, and you swear, you’ll never get sick of this feeling, of his mouth slanting against yours.

“I waited my whole life for you,” he breathes against your skin, pecking you once, twice, three times. “I can wait a little longer.”

You scrunch up your nose as he peppers kisses all over your face, unable to stop yourself from giggling like a teenager as he nuzzles against you.

“Go on a date with me,” you whisper against his mouth, your nose grazing his.

He raises an eyebrow, though his eyes remain closed. “Aren’t I supposed to be the one asking you out?”

“What can I say, I’m a progressive woman,” you joke, moving off of him. You rise, tugging him up with you. He immediately loops his arms around your waist, your arms curling around his neck as he pulls you close. “So, what do you say?”

Yoongi tilts his head back, pursing his lips as he sucks in a breath through his teeth. “I don’t know…”

“Yoongi!” You whine, a pout beginning to form.

He looks down at you and laughs, only making you frown more. “You’re cute, you know that?”

You start to blush, burying your face into the crook of his neck. “Shut up.”

“Are you being shy?” He teases, pinching your side until you yelp and swat at his arm. “Ow! I’m just kidding, yeesh.” Yoongi leans down and kisses your cheek, and you feel your blush deepen. “Where do you want to go?”

You take his hand, leading him towards the door. “Anywhere, as long as I’m with you.”

—

The two of you wander for a while, hand in hand, finally just being able to enjoy each other’s presence without holding anything back. You find yourselves near the waterfront, where the summer carnival is set up in a large, empty lot. Colourful lights twinkle throughout the stalls and midway rides, the smell of deep-fried food wafting through your nostrils. The laughter of children fills the air, along with different kinds of music from all sorts of directions, creating a melodious cacophony that only a carnival can produce. The ferris wheel lights up the evening sky, and you think to yourself that there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

Yoongi gestures at the ring toss game. “Want me to win you a stuffed animal? Or are you too progressive to let me try to impress you?”

You roll your eyes, leaning into him. “Half these games are rigged, aren’t they?”

“Y/N!” He whines. “Let me try. Please?”

You can’t help but chuckle before finally conceding. “Okay. But don’t spend more than five dollars or I’ll feel bad!”

“Too late,” he hollers, handing the woman who runs the stall a ten dollar bill. She chortles at the two of you, commenting on What a cute couple you are, before handing Yoongi a dozen rings. Your face is beet red as you slap a hand against your cheek, watching as Yoongi takes aim at the rows of green glass bottles in front of him. He only needs to make one ringer in order to win a prize.

He makes five.

“And you doubted me,” he gloats, unable to hide the smugness from his tone as he hands you an ostentatiously large stuffed bear. “Where are you gonna keep this thing?”

You hug the plush toy to your chest, chin resting atop its soft head. “I don’t know. My studio has some room. Or maybe my apartment.”

Yoongi grasps your free hand and the two of you wander down the midway together. “You know, I still haven’t been over to your place.”

“You will,” you say simply, smiling up at him. “Eventually.”

Yoongi nods, understanding that your privacy is extremely important to you. You continue to walk along the rows of booths together, talking about nothing and everything all at once. It’s almost as if the two weeks of radio silence never happened, and you are so thankful for that because being with Yoongi just feels so right. It would have been a terrible shame if the two of you were to never speak again because of what was essentially a misunderstanding. But as he links his fingers with yours, giving your hand a gentle squeeze, you forget about everything aside from this moment, and the way he looks at you with nothing but affection in his catlike eyes.

You’re heading over to the food vendors when all of a sudden, you hear a familiar voice calling out your name.

“Y/N-noona! Yoongi-hyung!”

The two of you turn to see none other than Jimin and Taehyung—the former is waving frantically at you, while the latter is busy stuffing a giant soft pretzel into his mouth. Jimin drags Taehyung over to where the two of you are standing, opening his mouth to say something before staring at your joined hands and openly balking.

“FINALLY!”

“Jesus, Jimin, keep your voice down, we’re in public,” Yoongi grumbles, clearly embarrassed. You lift yourself up onto your tiptoes and peck him on the cheek. He then turns to you, his eyes wide as saucers. “We’re in public!”

“When did this happen?” Taehyung asks, his mouth full of pretzel, though you can tell by his eyes that he’s trying to smile as he chews.

“It’s new,” you admit, resting your head on Yoongi’s shoulder. You can tell by now that he’s not super comfortable with public displays of affection, if the shy apprehension on his face is anything to go by, but you just can’t help yourself. Now that you’re able to hold him and touch him whenever you want, you never want to let go.

“It’s just a date,” he grumbles out, clearly a little embarrassed. “Don’t make a big deal of it.”

You reach up to flick right between his eyebrows, and he yelps out a protest. Turning back to the other two, you say, “We were just going to grab something to eat. You want to join us?”

“Sure!” Jimin claps. “I haven’t eaten yet. Tae-Tae was supposed to share his pretzel, but…” He glances sideward at his friend, who lets out a tiny burp. “He inhaled the whole thing.”

“I’m a growing boy!”

“You were supposed to share!”

“Hyung will buy you fries or something,” Yoongi mutters, gesturing to the food stall. “Can one of you guys go grab us a table? We’ll be there in a second.”

“I want fries too!”

Jimin scoffs. “Taehyung! Don’t be greedy!”

“I’m a growing boy!”

Yoongi turns to you, his eyes glazed over with indifference. “Should we just let them starve instead?”

You tap your finger against your chin, pretending to be contemplative. “Well, Taehyung did have that pretzel just now, so it’s not like he’ll die right away…”

“The fuck?” Taehyung practically hollers before Jimin shushes him by smacking the back of his head, gesturing to the numerous children in the close vicinity. “The fuck,” he repeats, in a hushed whisper.

“Go get a table,” Yoongi barks, shoving a pointed finger in the direction of the seating area. The two younger men immediately straighten up and scuttle away, but not before Jimin snatches the infant-sized teddy bear from your arms, pretending as if it’s an actual kid. Yoongi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose as you loop both arms around his middle, pressing a kiss to his chin. A dusting of pink flushes his cheeks as he mumbles out a whine. “Baby.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that,” you grin, reaching up to peck at his lips. “C’mon. The line is moving.”

“Says the woman clinging to me like a koala.”

You raise an eyebrow with a smirk, detaching yourself to hold onto his hand instead. “Not a fan of PDA?”

Yoongi opens his mouth to retort, but instead just ends up chuckling sheepishly. “Not sure, to be honest. Never really had a girlfriend to have PDA with.”

You give his hand a light squeeze, your tone purposely flippant. “Oh, so I’m your girlfriend now, huh? I thought this was just a date.”

He glares at you. “Don’t start.”

You can’t help but laugh, your other hand coming to rub against his lean bicep. “I like you, Yoongi.”

He looks down at you, his eyes soft with affection. His free hand rises to tilt your chin slightly skyward, and he kisses you on the mouth, witnesses be damned. “I like you too.”

The two of you finally detach from each other long enough to grab a tray of fries, hot dogs, burgers, and fountain drinks. You meander over to where Jimin and Taehyung are sitting with your stuffed toy, the bear occupying its own seat on the picnic bench. Their eyes light up at the sight of all the food, and Yoongi fixes Taehyung with a glare that has him folding his hands in his lap instead of reaching out to grab at the fries.

“So,” Jimin drawls, mouth half full of deep fried potato as he watches the two of you. You’re sitting beside Yoongi, who is eating with one hand, his other draped protectively around your waist as you lean into him. “Now that you two are finally together, when’s the wedding?”

Yoongi almost chokes on his burger, and you cough loudly as the pop you’re drinking goes down the wrong pipe.

“This is our first date,” Yoongi hisses once he’s sure he isn’t going to die.

You vehemently agree. And then you have to ask, “How long have all of you been waiting for this to happen?”

Jimin ponders, drumming his fingers against his chin in faux-thought. Finally, after a dramatic pause, he replies, “The second Yoongi-hyung brought you into HopeWorld for the first time.”

Your eyes widen, and you turn to Yoongi in disbelief. “You liked me for that long?”

He’s clearly embarrassed now, chin propped up on his free hand, eyes darting everywhere but the three (four, including that giant bear) of you. He mumbles out something you can’t quite hear, and you poke him hard in the ribs until he speaks up. “I may have liked you since the moment we met,” he admits.

“You what?” You cry out in disbelief. “But you were such a dick to me at the bar that time!”

“Because Hoseok was all over you!” He protests. “Do you know how annoying it was to see one of my best friends flirting with you, and you looking like you were into it? I thought for sure I had no chance.” His eyes soften, and his grip on your waist tightens. “I mean, look at you. I still can’t believe you like me back.”

You look down, biting back a smile when you hear the sudden click of a camera and a flash of light. Confused, you glance up at Taehyung, who has produced an older looking film camera out of seemingly nowhere, his big, boxy grin on full display.

“Sorry,” he says, not sounding apologetic at all. “Too cute of a moment to pass up.”

You simply laugh, shaking your head.

I’ve got to ask Tae for a copy of that photo.

—

The night winds down, and you and Yoongi bid farewell to Jimin and Taehyung. Yoongi insists on walking you back to your apartment. As much fun as it was to hang out with the others, being alone with him, strolling hand in hand, is definitely your favourite part of the night.

The two of you talk about nothing and everything on the long walk back to your place. You talk about your separate careers, what to name the giant teddy bear (you offer to name it Hoseok, just to bug him—it works, he glares at you for a solid sixty seconds), and the infamous choreographed dance that Yoongi still has to do for you. He jokes that he’ll just offer you a lap dance instead, but immediately retracts it once he seems the glimmer in your eyes.

You finally reach the front steps of your building, and you turn to Yoongi, setting the bear on the ground for a moment.

“I’m glad we had a chance to talk and sort out our shit. I had a lot of fun tonight.” You smile, as his hands find your waist, tugging you closer.

“Me too,” he agrees quietly as you loop your arms around his neck. He doesn’t waste any more time, dipping down to kiss you.

Your fingers twine through his hair as he presses you flush against him, the tiniest moan escaping you as he nibbles on your lower lip. You’re drunk on the taste of him as his tongue dips into your mouth and he crowds you against the brick wall, hands wandering lower grip at the curve of your ass.

He’s sinful and surprisingly dominant as his lips move with yours, one hand sliding down the back of your thigh to hitch over his waist. You cling to his shoulders and let out a whine as he grinds into you, the thick sound of saliva permeating the air as you lose all sense of time and space, wrapped up in everything that is Min Yoongi.

You wanted to take things slow, but having his body flush with yours, being able to feel his heartbeat against your chest, you’re starting to question your own rule. You want to break it badly, so badly, and you’re about to say fuck it and invite him upstairs to have your way with him when he pulls away from the kiss, moving to run the tip of his tongue along the shell of your ear.

“I want you so bad,” he pants, and you can tell, by the stiffness in his jeans that is pressing deliciously against your core. His teeth nip at the most sensitive part of your neck, and you gasp out his name. But just as suddenly as this all starts, he’s moving away, lowering your leg and sliding his hands back up to a respectable position on your waist. “But I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

You think that you probably look insane, hair mussed and lips kiss-swollen as you pant, eyes searching his. “What…” You begin, but need to start over as the air returns to your lungs. “What was all that, then?”

Yoongi winks at you, pressing an almost comically chaste kiss to the curve of your cheek. “Something to think about for next time,” he offers.

You huff out a laugh, your forehead dropping against his shoulder. “You’re making this really hard for me.”

Yoongi narrow his eyes playfully. “Did you just make a pun?” He asks, eyes darting down to the semi he’s currently rocking, that is still poking you through his pants.

Bursting out laughing, your body shakes as he joins in, and the two of you just stand there outside your apartment building, holding each other without a care in the world. After a moment, you look up at him, your hands coming to rest on either side of his face. You pull him in for another kiss, thinking about all that time wasted not being able to touch him this way since your first meeting nearly six months ago.

You pull away, hands resting on his chest. You can feel his heartbeat against your palm, and he looks at you with eyes full of affection and longing.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” You offer, and he nods with a smile.

“See you tomorrow.” He kisses you one last time before scooping the teddy bear off the ground, dusting it off and handing it back to you. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Yoongi,” you reply, almost sounding bashful as you slip through the front door. You can’t help but giggle as you watch Yoongi waddle away while adjusting his crotch through the window. You shake your head and head to the elevator, biting your lip as you hug your teddy bear close to your chest.

You reach your apartment, and once you’re inside, you lean against the door, and let out a huge sigh of happiness. You place the bear gingerly on your couch before pulling your phone out of your pocket, scrolling through your contacts until you find the familiar name. You click it and bring your phone to your ear, flopping down onto your bed with a giant, stupid smile on your face.

Junghyun’s voice fills your ears as you snort out a laugh. Seems like he’s been waiting for this call for a long damn time.

“So, when’s the wedding?”

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notsoguiltykpop · 8 years

Text

Of Books and Dirty Cash pt. 15

Librarian/gangster!Au

Yoongi x Reader

Before you moved to live on campus for college, you had never heard of a librarian who had a reputation for yelling. But not only does Min Yoongi yell, he’s also dangerous, and part of something much, much darker. When curiosity gets the better of you, you end up involved in much more than you bargained for.

You can also read part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

You buried yourself in your studies for the next week, finals were approaching fast, and the last thing you wanted to do was fail your classes. Every day, either Taehyung or Jimin would accompany you to your classes, and every day you would tell whichever one to tell Yoongi that you weren’t coming in to work. This was mostly because you didn’t know what to say to him. There were endless questions you wanted to ask, but there was one that kept echoing around your head. “Do you really care about your part-time employee as much as people think you do?”

You guessed that you should be more concerned with questions like “have you ever killed a person” or “how many times have you cheated people out of their money” or maybe “have you ever robbed a bank” but they all seemed somewhat irrelevant. Yoongi had been practically born into the mafia, what choice would he have had in any of it? And he had tried to get away from it (before you accidentally dragged him back into it by asking too many questions). Didn’t that count for something?

You realized you were rationalizing again, and shook your head to clear it.

“You look like you’re thinking about something really important.” Jimin said. He was carrying your bag for you (he had insisted) as you walked across campus. You were approaching the library, and you looked up at the building with a sigh.

“Not really.” You said, knowing that wouldn’t be enough of an answer for him. You tried to think of something to tell him other than the truth. “Just chemistry homework.” You settled on, and Jimin grinned knowingly at you.

“You mean the chemistry between you and Yoongi?”

You shot him a half-hearted glare, he was far too good at reading people. “No. Maybe.” You muttered the last part, not particularly wanting to admit it, but lying wasn’t going to do any good either.

“Is there any particular reason you’re avoiding him?” He asked, sounding disinterested, but after spending most of a week with him, you knew that wasn’t the case.

“I’m not avoiding him.” You huffed. Were you? Probably. Were you going to admit it? Never. The worst part was that you really did need to go to the library to borrow a book for a project, and you had been putting it off as long as possible.

“Whatever you say.” Jimin shrugged. “But you know you turned red when I mentioned Yoongi, right?”

“Did not.” You huffed. “And I’m not avoiding him! I’ll prove it. I’ll go to the library right now. I have a book to get anyway.” You weren’t sure where this new-found determination had come from, but something about the way Jimin was smirking at you made you want to prove him wrong. He raised an eyebrow at you as you took your book bag back from him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said. “I can walk myself from here to the dorms.”

Jimin shook his head. “I can wait—“

“It’s fine, really.” You said, already walking toward the library. You needed to get inside before you lost your nerve.

A mixture of emotions hit you all at once as you walked into the library. You felt at home again, being surrounded by books. It was funny how the smell of them made you feel safe and warm. At the same time, nervousness clutched at you, though you couldn’t quite pinpoint why. It occurred to you somewhat belatedly that perhaps Jimin had intentionally brought Yoongi up at that moment knowing that you would want to prove him wrong, and you had just done exactly what he wanted. But it was too late now, you were already there and you would feel ridiculous to return to your dorm now.

It was comical, you thought, that you initially met Yoongi because you were avoiding the librarian, and now you were trying to avoid him again as you looked for the book you needed. You knew how to let people borrow books, there was no reason that you couldn’t check one out for yourself, so you initially had not intention of running into him. All you had to do was get the book and leave.

You mentally chided yourself for being a coward, deciding that you really should just talk to Yoongi. You weren’t afraid of him, you weren’t mad at him, so you didn’t understand why it was so hard to just approach him.

Then it dawned on you that you might be afraid of rejection. What would you do if you found out you didn’t mean anything to him other than being his employee? You wanted to think that would be a good thing, that would mean that you could separate yourself from all of this mafia madness and live a normal life.

But you knew that if that was the case, you would be horribly disappointed. As much as you would like to think that Yoongi was just a coworker to you, he had become much more. He was a friend who reminded you to take breaks from studying, who brought you tea even though it was entirely against the rules, who was strange and yelled a lot but was also kind.

The book you needed was easy to locate, you had spent so much time in the library the past two months that you knew where just about everything was. You almost turned to go, but stopped yourself. You needed answers, and this time, there wasn’t anyone to ask but Yoongi himself.

You bit your lip as you made your way through the library, looking down the aisles of bookcases for the man in question. You didn’t want to admit it, but you had a horrible feeling that he wasn’t going to feel the same way that you felt about him. There was only one way to find out though.

“Yoongi?” You said when you found him, and your voice sounded small to your own ears. He looked up from the book he had been about to place back on a shelf and stared at you in surprise.

“Hey kid.” He said, a small smile playing across his face. “What are you doing here?”

“Borrowing a book.” You said, holding it up as proof.

He nodded, and you thought you saw a hint of disappointment in his eyes. He was quick to play it off though, taking the book from your hands to inspect it himself before you could move it out of his reach.

“Interesting choice.” He said. “Do you like Jane Austin’s work?”

You tried to take it back from him, but he anticipated it and held the book behind his back.

“I wouldn’t have guessed you were a “Pride and Prejudice” kind of person.” He smirked.

“It’s for a research paper.” You said honestly, and he tilted his head to the side in thought.

“You didn’t answer the question.” He pointed out, taking a step backwards as you tried to reach for the book again. You could tell he was having fun with this.

“Yes, I do.” You said, referring to whether or not you liked Jane Austin. “Now will you give it back?”

He made as though to hand it back to you, only to move it just out of your reach at the last second. At your horrified expression, he finally gave it back. “Don’t look so upset, it’s not like I was going to burn it.” He muttered.

A moment passed where neither of you said anything, and Yoongi looked down at his shoes. In your attempts to regain the book, you had ended up in much closer proximity than you intended, and you resisted the urge to take a step back.

“So are you going to officially quit, or what?” He asked quietly, and you blinked in shock.

“I wasn’t planning to quit.” You said, and now it was Yoongi’s turn to be surprised. “I mean, unless I’m fired for taking so many days off, I was going to come back eventually.”

Yoongi studied you for a second before snorting. “Why would you be fired?”

You shrugged, figuring it would have been obvious. “Like I just said, for taking so many days—“

“Yes, I heard you.” Yoongi said. “But don’t you think if I was going to fire you, you would have been jobless a long time ago?”

This was a fair point.

Yoongi shook his head. “There’s something about you. I don’t know what, but…” He broke off and looked away from you, clearing his throat. “What I mean is, good part-time employees are hard to find.”

You felt your heart sink. You didn’t know what you were expecting, or hoping for really. “Right.” You nodded. “And that’s why people keep telling me I’m important to you, because it’s hard to find employees.” You hadn’t meant to say this out loud, and you certainly hadn’t meant to sound so bitter, but the damage was done.

“No, that’s not what I meant…” Yoongi reached for you before letting his hand drop to his side. “Maybe that’s what I should mean, I don’t know…” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “You’re more than an employee.” He sighed. “But you shouldn’t be.”

You were really wishing he would stop talking at this point. You tried to think of some way out of this conversation, and were at a loss. You looked down at your book instead.

“It wouldn’t be fair.” He practically whispered after a moment. “I’m not… Look, I’m not a good person. I’ve done horrible things. Kid, I’ve killed people.” He let that sink in for a moment before continuing. There was so much pain in the last three words that you wondered how many nights he had stayed up thinking about it. You could feel tears prickling the corners of your eyes, and you wished you didn’t care so much. “I’ve tried for the last five years to erase the person that I was, but last week is proof that that’s never going to happen, not completely. You’ve already been hurt once because of me.” As he said this, he ran his thumb gently over where the bruise had almost faded on your cheek.

“It wasn’t really, though.” You sniffed, willing your tears away. “It was because of Jaebum.”

Yoongi chuckled softly. “That’s one way to look at it I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking slightly embarrassed. “You know, to be honest I was thinking about asking you out for coffee before…” He didn’t have to finish his sentence for you to understand.

“Why didn’t you?” You asked, feeling hope staring to form.

“I’m your boss.” He said simply. “That’s really not something that bosses should do.”

You nodded slowly, he was right. “So, what you’re saying is, if I quit we could go out for coffee sometime?” You held your breath as you waited for an answer, and luckily one didn’t take long.

“Like hell you’re quitting.” He snapped. “Where am I supposed to find someone else who actually uses books for reading and doesn’t mind my yelling?” He was practically pouting. “How about you keep working here, and when we go out for coffee we just pretend we don’t work together.”

You nodded, and couldn’t help the smile pulling at the corners of your mouth.

“You’re sure you want to though?” He questioned, and there was an uncertainty in his eyes. “You know the more time we spend together, the more danger you could be in?”

“I know, and I’m sure.” You said, maybe a bit more confidently than you felt, and Yoongi smiled at you. It was bright, genuinely happy, and warm.

“I think I’ll come to work tomorrow.” You said, changing the topic. Yoongi shook his head however, lacing your fingers with his.

“Take as much time as you need, the books aren’t going anywhere.”

“Can I kiss you?” You asked in a sudden rush of courage. Rather than answer you however, Yoongi leaned down and brushed your lips with his. It was feather light, but somehow perfect.

You entered your dorm building trying to contain your excitement. There was nothing you could do about the smile on your face, or the blush that you were sure was on your cheeks. It made you feel slightly better that Yoongi had turned slightly pink as well, and you had never seen him so flustered.

When you opened your door, you expected to see the room either occupied by Diane or perhaps empty, but what you were greeted with was neither.

“I was wondering when you were going to get here.” The man was sitting at your desk, flipping through one of your notebooks. He looked horribly familiar, and you hoped that your memory was deceiving you. “It’s really quite rude to keep a guest waiting.” He said, giving you a detached smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “My name’s Jinyoung, by the way. I don’t think we were ever formally introduced.” He held out his hand for you to shake, and you backed away from it, reaching for the door handle.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He said airily, and you ignored him only to come face-to-face with Bambam and Jackson in the hall. You closed the door again, turning back to Jinyoung.

“What do you want?” You asked. “Yoongi said part of the deal was that I was to be left alone so—“

“Actually.” Jinyoung held a hand up. “It’s that we would not hurt you. There wasn’t anything about talking to you.”

“Well, I don’t want to talk.” You snapped. “So get the hell out of my room.”

Jinyoung laughed. “Oh, but you do want to talk, love. You just don’t know it yet.” He stood with the grace of a dancer, and you noticed the gun hanging at his side. It was beyond you how he had been allowed to walk onto campus with it. “You see, I have a proposition for you. I’m sure you’re aware of the fact that your dear librarian is going to be dead soon, am I right?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “So we thought we would offer you a deal. You could have access to Bangtan’s records and files, should you choose to. You bring enough evidence to the police for them to be thrown in jail and out of our way, and Yoongi goes free.”

“I don’t understand—“ You started.

“Do I really have to explain again?” Jinyoung sighed. “You take down Bangtan with their own records, or Min Yoongi dies. Get it now?”

You shook your head. “Why not just kill them?” It sounded cold, insensitive, but you genuinely didn’t understand.

“Because where would the fun in that be?” Jinyoung’s tone was as if he were discussing the weather, and it was disconcerting to say the least. “Killing them would be easy. Making them suffer, forcing them to watch as we take over what is rightfully ours? That’s a bit trickier. Not to mention, there’s nothing funnier than a mafia leader behind bars.”

A/N Wow they actually kissed!! Haha, are you excited for Reader and Yoongi’s relationship? Do you think Reader should take Jinyoung up on the offer? Does Reader have a choice? Let me know what you think! Thank you for reading, and sticking with this series for so long! Also thank you to everyone who sent me birthday messages, it means a lot to me! You’re all so sweet and kind, and I love you to death <3 <3 <3

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