#i spent a good 15 minutes thinking what I'd want him to get but it was just 15 minutes of my brain being uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[screamin-abt-haikyuu]

What thing do you subtly hint at so Asahi gets it for your anniversary?

Honestly, I don't think I would need to hint for Asahi to get something. He's already so thoughtful and observant that he'd always know what to get.

Totally not saying this because I never know what I want for any special occasions. Yep. Yep yep yep yep yep.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Fluffcember Day 12 | All the reasons why I love you

Pairing | Husband!Chris Evans x Wife!Fem!Reader

Word count | 2K

Summary | Today is your wedding day, and Chris recalls some of his most fond memories of you, his wife. From the moment you first met to the moment he first heard your laugh, not a single moment is forgotten by him. It is at that moment that you realize how much he paid attention to all the little things, and why you have fallen for him in the first place all those years ago.

Rating | General (G)

Warning(s) | RPF, Established relationship ~ Husband & Wife, use of nickname ~ Beautiful

A/n | This one-shot is written for day 12 of my Fluffcember 2023 Challenge! I want to dedicate this to @cevansbaby-dove, I truly hope this will make your day just a little brighter in the tough time you're going through right now. I want to give a massive thank you to @ccbsrmsf1 for proofreading this one, it is truly appreciated 🎄

Events Masterlist | ''That's the first time I ever heard you laugh | @buckys-wintersoldier Masterlist | Love at first sight | @ultimatechrisbingo

Banners: @vase-of-lilies | Divider: @firefly-graphics | GIF: Owner

Main Masterlist | Chris Evans Masterlist | Read on AO3

You're seated at the big table, ready for dinner, when your brand new husband, Chris, looks at you and gives you a reassuring smile before standing up and reaching for a microphone.

''Can I have everyone's attention, please? Because I would like to take this moment to tell all of you something about my beautiful partner in crime and wife, Y/N Evans-Y/L/N,'' Chris starts as he looks back at you, now standing in the middle of the dance floor.

His light blue suit compliments his eyes beautifully and matches the decor around the wedding venue, tying the whole outfit together. His beard and hair are styled in his usual way, making him look handsome, and you feel like you have found heaven on earth in this man.

Your husband. The more you think about it, the harder it is to believe, but it's true. You married your best friend, the love of your life, your partner through thick and thin.

''I'd like to start by telling you all how I met the most beautiful lady I have ever met, and who turned my world upside down from the moment she came into my life nearly 15 years ago.''

You just finished your work for the day, and now you're walking home from the school where you teach. Having a job only 10 minutes from your home is perfect, and being an elementary school teacher has always been one of your biggest dreams.

But today, you decide to stop in the bookstore on your way home as if something was pulling you into that building. The door swings open, a familiar warmth engulfs you, and you feel instantly at home.

You have spent many rainy days here and are good friends with the owners.

''Y/N! What a surprise to see you here; how is everything going?'' May asks; she's one of the two owners with her husband, Jason.

''It's good to see you again, May. I'm so sorry I haven't been here lately, but it's hectic at work now that we're nearing the end of the school year again. But I decided to revisit two of my favorite people; I have missed you both a lot,'' you tell her, and May nods in understanding.

''You're always welcome here, Y/N. We got a few books over the last few weeks that might be right up your alley. I stored them in the back until you would visit again,'' she says before walking off and getting said books.

Meanwhile, you're on your way to browse your favorite store section: True Crime. Something about this topic never ceases to amaze you, and you have spent many hours browsing the section.

Your eyes glide over the books until you spot one that immediately piques your interest. It's a little too high for you, but you try to reach for it anyway, but to no avail. You can't reach it even when you're standing on your tiptoes and let out a frustrated sigh.

''Can I help you with that?'' a deep voice on your right asks you, and when you turn your head, you look right into the eyes of the most handsome man you have ever seen. You stare at him for a few seconds until it dawns that he asked you a question, and your cheeks turn bright red in embarrassment.

''Oh! I'm so sorry! Uhm... Yes, please, can you hand me that one?'' you tell him as you point towards a book about Jeffrey Dahmer. The man reaches for it and grabs it off the shelf effortlessly, handing it to you with a charming smile.

''Here you go, Beautiful,'' he tells you, and you take the book from his hands with a shy smile and a chuckle leaving your chest.

''Thank you, uhm-'' ''Chris!'' ''Well, thank you, Chris,'' you tell him, and just as you're about to turn around and see if May is back, he stops you.

''I hope I'm not too forward here, but you're beautiful, and I was hoping we could get some coffee sometime if you're up for it,'' he tells you, and you happily agree.

A few days later, you're having coffee with the man you fell for in the bookstore, and you've never believed in love at first sight until you met Chris. He felt the same way and told you exactly that a few dates later. You two have never looked back and been together ever since that moment.

''I still remember that day like it was yesterday. That was the first time I ever heard you laugh. It has become one of my favorite things to hear, and I know I will never get tired of hearing it. It makes me feel like I'm home because you're nearby. And you're my home,'' he tells you before blowing a kiss your way.

''One of my favorite moments we have experienced together has to be the moment she met Dodger for the first time,'' Chris starts as he paces over the dance floor, his arms moving to emphasize his point.

Are you ready to meet him, Beautiful?'' Chris asks as you're sitting on his living room couch. You've always loved dogs, and ever since Chris told you about his furry friend, you couldn't wait to meet him.

He has told you about how he rescued him after filming in a shelter, and it warms your heart each time. You're getting a little impatient to see him now.

''Been ready for ages!'' you tell him with a chuckle, and that's when you hear it: his excited taps on the floor as he runs to the new person in his house, curious as ever.

''Who's that, Buddy? Say hi to her; she won't bite you!'' Chris tells him enthusiastically. Dodger can't contain his excitement, and he jumps on the couch where you're sitting, greeting you excitedly as Chris looks at the two of you.

''See? I told you he would like you,'' Chris tells you, and deep inside, you knew he would because he's the absolute best dog in the world. And to have Chris as his owner makes him the luckiest dog in the universe.

''Aren't you an excited little boy? Yeah, you are! God and you're so cute too, just like your Daddy,'' you say, and you look at Chris from the corner of your eye, seeing him turn bright red at your compliment.

''You two are way cuter together, though,'' he tells you, making you smile. From that moment on, wherever you went, Dodger went with you. He would be by your side anywhere inside the house; if you went outside, he would always want to accompany you.

That year, naturally, you had to take a photo of yourself, Chris, and Dodger in front of the Christmas tree, which is still your favorite photo of the three of you. Your own little family was enjoying their first Christmas together.

''I wouldn't want it any other way,'' you tell Chris when he's done telling the story, and once again, he blows a kiss your way. He's head over heels in love with you, and so are you with him. You can never get enough of him telling stories.

''The fondest memory I have of her, however, will have to be the moment I proposed to her while we were on vacation in Mexico,'' Chris tells everyone in the room, and a big smile adorns his face.

You and Chris have been together for a little over 13 years now, and even though you have discussed the idea of marriage a few times, it only became concrete now.

A few weeks before your departure on your yearly vacation with Chris, he started his search for the perfect engagement ring. He has visited several shops but eventually found the perfect one for you.

Now, all that's left is to pop the question.

You two just had dinner in an authentic Mexican restaurant and had some fantastic food, and now Chris is offering to take you on a walk on the beach. What you did not know, however, is that Chris's mom, Lisa, has prepared the place of the proposal for both of you.

''God, that food was amazing! I'm glad you chose that restaurant, Beautiful,'' Chris tells you as his fingers are interlaced with yours. The restaurant you initially wanted to visit was closed due to a personal emergency, so you decided to hit up an authentic Mexican restaurant nearby.

''I don't know what the other place would have been like, but I'm so glad we decided to go here because I would eat here again if I ever have the chance!'' you tell him, and Chris can't help but smile.

All he can think about is how that might be your go-to restaurant every time you come back to visit to relive your memories of the day he proposed to you.

He turns to you and admires how your dress flows in the wind, making you look nothing short of angelic. After you have walked for about 20 minutes, you spot the proposal site, and your head shoots over to Chris.

Is this happening?! You ask yourself, and you soon find out that it is happening. Right here, right now.

''Y/N, I'm not sure how I would have gotten where I am today without your encouragement and joy, without listening to your singing and watching you dance when you think no one is watching,'' he starts.

''I enjoy dreaming with you because you understand me like no one else could. I enjoy being sick now that you're there to care for me. You inspire me to get out of bed each morning, no matter how difficult the day ahead may be, and you make me want to accomplish the impossible,'' he tells you, and you're trying your hardest to conserve your make-up as the tears are escaping.

''We both want to live a colorful, memorable life, and we can make our wildest dreams come true if we work together on them. And that's why I want- no, need you for the rest of my life,'' he finishes his speech.

He grabs the ring out of his pocket, clutching the little box tightly before going down on one knee, and you put your hands over your mouth to stifle the sniffles coming out.

When he's down on his knee, he opens the small velvet box, revealing the engagement ring he picked out for you, and he asks the question you've been dying to hear ever since you realized he's about to propose.

''Y/N Y/L/N, will you make me the happiest man on earth and become my wife?''

''Oh my god, YES!'' you exclaim, and Chris takes the ring out of the box and gets up before grabbing your face gently, sealing your moment with a tender, sweet kiss.

''I love you so much, Chris, and I can't wait to marry you,'' you tell him, and from that moment on, you're going through life as the future Mrs. Evans.

''And now, here we are all gathered on our wedding day. Honestly, I couldn't have done this without you, Beautiful. You're the reason I am where I am today, and to have you by my side to witness it all is the cherry on top of the wedding cake!'' he says, and you have to wipe some tears away.

Your road may have been challenging, but you wouldn't change it for anything. If your relationship with Chris has proven anything, you can go through anything as long as you have him by your side and want to prove that to him every single day of your lives together.

When he's about to let everyone know they can start their dinner, you get up from your chair and jog over to him with the front of your wedding dress raised so you don't slip and fling yourself around his neck when you arrive.

''I love you, Chris, and thank you for that. Now you have made this day truly unforgettable,'' you tell him, his arms wrapped around you to pull you close to him.

''I love you too, Beautiful, and I will show you just how much every single day of the rest of our lives.''

And with that, your promises to each other are sealed with one more kiss. Your lips move as if they are made for one another, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. You have found heaven on earth in your husband, and you're officially the happiest woman in the universe.

[randomperson99sworld]

Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 15 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly), physical abuse (Not by Dean).

Word Count: 1,807

A/N: This story has like 30 rough chapters that I need to go through before posting, but it shouldn’t be too long. That’s why I’ve been posting multiple chapters throughout the day incase anyone was wondering lol as sated as always, this story is cross posted on Wattpad. Happy reading! ♥️

Dean spent the next few days trying to shake off the way Julia's black eye had made him feel—angry, protective, and more than anything, frustrated. He hadn't seen her since that day. She was giving herself space, and he'd respected that. But that didn't stop her from creeping into his thoughts, especially when he least expected it.

He slammed the trunk of the Impala shut, having just finished restocking the weapons cache after their last hunt. Sam was somewhere inside, probably pouring over some lore, while Dean just tried to focus on anything but what was running through his head.

That's when his phone buzzed. He pulled it from his pocket and glanced at the screen. It was a text from Julia.

Julia: Hey. You free?

Dean stared at the message for a moment, debating his response. But before he could think too hard about it, he replied.

Dean: Yeah, what's up?

A few seconds passed before his phone vibrated again.

Julia: Could use a drink. You in?

He hesitated. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her. He just didn't trust himself not to care too much. But she needed something. After what had happened with her dad, he wasn't going to leave her hanging.

Dean: I'll be there in 30.

Thirty minutes later, Dean pulled up in front of Julia's home. She was waiting outside, leaning against her front steps, arms crossed as she watched him approach. Even in the fading evening light, he could see the faint remnants of the bruise under her eye. His jaw clenched, and he had to remind himself that storming off to take care of her dad wouldn't do any good.

She flashed him a small, tired smile. "Hey."

"Hey," Dean replied, getting out of the car. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said, waving off the question. "Just needed to get out of my head for a bit."

Dean nodded, though he wasn't convinced. He gestured to the Impala. "Come on, then. Let's get that drink."

They headed to a small, quiet bar outside of town. It wasn't crowded, which was exactly what Dean had in mind. As they sat at a table in the corner, drinks in hand, Julia leaned back in her chair and sighed, staring at her glass for a moment before taking a sip.

"You ever just... feel like everything's too heavy?" she asked after a long pause, her voice soft.

Dean raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his seat. "Every damn day."

She nodded, not surprised by his answer. "I didn't think I'd care this much, you know? About my mom. I didn't even go to the funeral, but standing by her grave... it hit me. And then there's my dad."

Dean clenched his jaw at the mention of her father, the memory of her black eye still fresh in his mind. "Your dad's a piece of work."

"Yeah, well, I won't be seeing him again," she said quietly. "I'm done with him. For good."

Dean studied her, unsure of what to say. He didn't want to push her, but he also didn't want her to keep bottling everything up.

She seemed to sense his hesitation because she gave a half-hearted smile. "You know", she bagan, her voice soft but steady, "Bobby was more of a father than my own dad's ever been."

Dean kept listening, not saying anything but offering a nod, his expression open. Julia rarely talked about her past, but when she did, Dean knew to listen.

"He'd never judged me. I could show up at his place anytime, no questions asked. He'd just hand me a blanket and make sure I ate something. It didn't matter if I was late or I had a bad night. Bobby just... he knew. Well, not the full extent of things but he was aware I didn't have the best home life."

Dean's throat tightened at the mention of Bobby. He hadn't known how deep her connection to Bobby ran, but now that he did, it made sense. He wasn't the only one who'd lost a father figure when Bobby died. Julia had lost one, too.

"Bobby was the best," Dean said softly, his voice thick with emotion. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him."

Julia met his gaze, her eyes searching his for a moment before she looked away, staring down at her drink. "I guess that's why I keep fighting. Because of everything he taught me. But sometimes, it just... it feels like too much."

Dean leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "I get it, Julia. I really do. But you're stronger than you think."

She smiled faintly, but the sadness in her eyes lingered. "You're a good liar, Dean."

He let out a small chuckle. "Maybe. But not this time."

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, both lost in their thoughts. Dean watched her, his mind racing. He hated seeing her like this—hurt, unsure, and vulnerable.

When Julia finally looked back at him, her expression had softened. "Thanks for the drink," she said quietly. "And for coming out here."

"Anytime," Dean replied, his voice gruff. "You need anything, you call me."

Julia nodded, her eyes lingering on his for a second longer than usual. "Same goes for you, you know."

Dean gave her a small smile, but he didn't say anything. The feelings bubbling up inside him were too much, and he wasn't ready to deal with them just yet.

But one thing was for sure—he wasn't going to let her go through this alone. Not if he had anything to say about it.

The drive back to Julia's was quiet. She sat next to Dean in the passenger seat of the Impala, lost in thought. Dean kept glancing at her from the corner of his eye, not sure what to say. The conversation at the bar had dug up a lot of stuff for both of them, and he wasn't sure how to deal with any of it.

When they pulled up outside her place, Julia finally broke the silence. "You don't have to keep looking at me like I'm going to break, you know."

Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat, gripping the steering wheel. "I'm not—"

"You are," she interrupted, turning to face him. "Look, I get that you're worried. But I've been through worse, Dean. I can handle myself."

Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know you can. But after everything with your dad, with Bobby... I just don't want to see you get hurt again."

Julia's face softened. "I appreciate that. I really do. But you can't always protect everyone. Even if you want to."

Dean's jaw clenched as he stared at the dashboard. "Doesn't mean I won't try."

She smiled, though it was tinged with sadness. "I know. But you don't have to carry it all by yourself. You've got people who care about you too, you know?"

He glanced at her, surprised by the sincerity in her voice. He didn't know how to respond, so he just nodded, his throat tight.

"Anyway," Julia said, unbuckling her seatbelt. "Thanks for tonight. It helped."

"Anytime," Dean muttered, watching her as she got out of the car. He lingered for a moment, watching her walk up the steps to her door. She paused at the top, glancing back at him, and for a brief second, something passed between them. A connection, stronger than either of them had expected.

But just as quickly, she turned away, disappearing inside.

Dean exhaled, leaning back in his seat. He stared at the empty spot where she'd stood just moments ago, feeling the weight of his own emotions pressing down on him. Julia wasn't like anyone else in his life. She had this way of getting under his skin, breaking down the walls he'd built so carefully.

Back at the bunker, Dean pushed through the heavy doors, the familiar smell of old books and coffee filling the air. Sam was at the table, hunched over his laptop with stacks of books scattered around him.

"You're back late," Sam commented, not looking up from his screen.

Dean tossed his jacket onto the back of a chair and rubbed his hands over his face. "Yeah, had a few drinks with Julia."

Sam finally looked up, raising an eyebrow. "How's she doing?"

"She's... she's fine," Dean said, though his voice was a little strained. "Her dad gave her a black eye. Bastard hit her after she didn't go to her mom's funeral."

Sam's expression darkened. "What? Why didn't she tell us?"

Dean shrugged, pacing around the room. "You know Julia. She's tough. Doesn't like letting people in."

"Sounds familiar," Sam muttered under his breath, earning a glare from Dean.

"I just... I hate seeing her like that, man," Dean admitted, running a hand through his hair. "She doesn't deserve any of this crap."

Sam leaned back in his chair, studying his brother. "You care about her."

Dean stopped pacing, shooting Sam a sharp look. "She's a friend."

Sam gave him a knowing smile. "Right."

Dean clenched his jaw, ignoring the heat rising in his chest. "We've got bigger things to worry about right now, okay? We need to focus on taking down Abaddon, not this... whatever this is."

Sam held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, fine. But you can't keep running from this forever, Dean. She means something to you. Whether you want to admit it or not."

Dean glared at him but didn't say anything. Instead, he grabbed a beer from the fridge and popped it open, taking a long drink. Sam was right, and he hated that.

"I’m gonna tune in for the night." Dean said gruffly.

Sam nodded, but there was still a flicker of amusement in his eyes as he went back to his laptop. Dean could feel the weight of his brother's unspoken words hanging in the air, but he refused to acknowledge them.

Julia had gotten under his skin, and there was no denying that anymore. But Dean wasn't ready to face what that meant—not yet.

Later that night, Dean lay in his room, staring up at the ceiling. His mind kept replaying the conversation with Julia, the way she'd opened up about her family, the way she'd looked at him when she said she was done with them for good. He hated that her father had hurt her, and he hated even more that there was nothing he could do to fix it.

He rolled onto his side, clenching his fists against the pillow. Julia wasn't just some rookie hunter anymore. She was more than that. She was someone he cared about deeply. And that scared the hell out of him.

But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about her.

[jotunvali02]

Playing Turnabout Goodbyes, last part

"The second bullet was never found."

Ah-ah-ah. No, no, baby.

"Tsk, tsk" as Von Karma would say.

FEE-FEE has the second bullet. It's the FIRST one that's cleverly hidden in front of everyone.

"Sorry, Maya. I was wrong."

OMFG... are you back at being stupid, even in court??

"Maybe the bullet HIT the murderer?"

Yeaaaaaah!! Congrats for Fee-Fee who needed again the intervention of a dead woman to help him figure shit out! 🥳

"Hey Nick. Remember what Grossberg said about Von Karma and his vacation shit?"

Maya, Maya... did you just find the culprit again??

My God, YOU should be a defense attorney! YOU deserve that fucking badge! Take it and scream "OBJECTION! I am the defense now!"

"I know Von Karma. Perhaps too well." My baby 😭💔

and here comes the metal detector, gracefully lent by Daddy Gumshoe!

"Mister Von Karma, get NAKED bitch!"

omg, that loud BEEP must have frozen Edgey's heart and all of his blood vessels.💔💔💔

"Who wouldv'e thought you'd dig your own grave trying to convict Edgeworth?" = "You touch my senpai, I destroy you, bitch."😊 #yanderefeefee

What kind of reaction must one have when the man you literally saw as a father for 15 years proudly admits he is the one who killed your real father and screams that he'll "bury you"?

After he managed to convince you a few minutes earlier that you had murdered your own father?

Anyone would have burst in screaming tears.

"It's all just a good memory"??? Maya, the FUCK??? did you forget-?? Nevermind.

"Larry? What happened now?" My thoughts exactly!! X)

"Wright, there are $38 in that enveloppe." "Yeah, so?" Omffffg,

PHOENIIIIIIIX !!!!

"Edgeworth?" "Hmm?" "I love you, baby." *kiss* "I'll murder Larry and I'll come back."😘

"Where does that leave me? I've become a defense attorney because of what you two did!!"

Wrong! Stop blaming others for your whimsy, shitty decisions, Feenie. It's not their fault if you're a lonely, emotionally-dependent and obesessive psychopath.

Oh, and Edgey and Larry agree with me!

"If I had known, I'd become a prosecutor!" Hmm, an AU prosecutor Fee-Fee, hey?🤔

"Same for me, only the other way around..." No, no, baby.😢 Don't be sad. "If I had known the truth, maybe I might have become a defense attorney." My baby!!😭😭😭

Feenie, hug him!! WTF are you waiting for??

And stop that fucking happy tune when my baby is obviously miserable inside!!!!

"Want to switch, Wright?"

Yes!! YES!!! Follow your dreams, baby!! 😭

Aaah?? Fee-Fee didn't answer!!!! 👀👀👀

Wai-wai-wait!! So while everyone was partying and drinking their ass off, Miles was still in detention? All alone?? More than likely crying and being sad and crushed inside??

"I couldn't help you. I was useless."

Shut up, Maya! THAT'S NOT TRUE!! You helped and you nailed it more than Phoenix!!

Yeah, not just with the bullet, Feenie. SHE also suggested out of the blue Von Karma might be the murderer while you had no clue he might be!

*gasp*?? Edgey got a hug from Daddy Gumshoe?😭 (at least, I fucking hope so! that's the least he needs!!!)

Huh? No trial for two months??

WTF did you do during that whole time, Phoenix? And just how did you pay your rents? Yeah, rentS, I suppose the Wright & Co offices aren't free to use!

*gasp*! I hope for your ass you spent them visiting and comforting your boyfriend! (in exchange for the paying of your rents, maybe? like you wanted?)

Also, when 9 years-old Miles felt unconscious, the two adults with him felt unsconcious too? Like, all the three of them, at the same time??

Either baby Miles had a prodigious endurance or the two adults with him were exceptionnally weak-bodied.

Or Takumi didn't think about sth basic as that so that Gregory's murder happens easily and smoothly. Cause bitch, HOW the fuck Yogi couldn't have recognized Von Karma then and why wouldn't have Gregory tried to defend himself? And HOW couldn't they have heard Von Karma screaming?

I've just realized that whole story of Greg's murder doesn't make any sense from the begining!

[qetalos]

JUST FOR ME ! | 제이

p: non idol!jay x non idol!reader. Reader is Jay's ex and hasn't moved on since their break up! g: angst? warnings! mentions of obsession and break up, reader is obsessed with Jay after their break up, cursing mentions of death, slightly cringe, read at your own risk 😭

note: heyy I'm backk! tbh this is really out of my comfort zone as I never wrote with the genre (?) Yandere if u wanna call it that. Also this is inspired by Just for me by pinkpantheress. Anyways, enjoy ;) really short post!!

'cause I read somewhere you'll fall in love with me

maybe this wasn't good but I couldn't move on from my ex, Jay.

We had broken up three months ago and I couldn't stop thinking about it. He broke up with me, because "he fell out of love". I know he still loves me, right?

I keep a diary, full of his name. I feel like in highschool when I liked a guy, I couldn't stop thinking about any guy I would put my eyes on. Like I was right now with Jay, he didn't go out from my mind. I just know that he hasn't moved on from me either because we're made for each other, as he once said at one of our dates. I still remember that day and many more, how could I forget? I bet he didn't forget either, we made so many memories together...

I found the street of the house in which you stay

After our break up, Jay had to move out from my apartment as we lived together for a quite a long time. I heard that he moved to a street not so far from mine, he definitely wanted to bump into me someday...

So I decided to go with my car and look for it, I saw pictures from his Instagram and tried to find the house. Soon after I found it and decided to write down the address, just in case.

The house where Jay lived now was really modern and nice, from outside. It didn't look way too big but not too small either, just how we wanted our house to be. My thoughts are that he decided to move there because we had talked about a house like that and he wanted to have a piece of memory from me, how sweet.

Should I send him something? Like a secret admirer! Maybe some food? Or maybe decorations for his house? He would definitely love whatever I would decide to send him!

I followed you today, I was in my car. I wanted to come and see you from afar

After finding where he lived now that we broke up, I always passed by with my car. I stayed for around 15 minutes and then drove away.

One day, I saw Jay posting a story with a countdown for what seemed like a trip? He was going on a little trip to a city nearby! I knew it because he once told me that his parents lived there and that he wanted to go there anytime soon...

I packed my stuff and when the day arrived I woke up early and drove my car to his place, I saw his car parked there too and saw that he hadn't gone yet so I decided to wait.

When Jay finally started to drive, I decided to follow him trying to not be suspicious about it. I followed him and almost lost him in some parts but still arrived to where he was staying, I saw him entering to an hotel and decided to stay at one too! I stayed at the hotel that was opposite to his, how lucky! I think that Jay chose that hotel because he knew I was going to be there so he wanted me close...

I'm obsessed with you in a way I can't believe. When you wipe your tears, do you wipe them just for me?

Jay spent a week at that city when he finally drove off to his house. When I saw that he was going back I decided to go back to my place, just to give him a bit of space... So I could go back again.

I would visit him every day until I saw a girl coming out from his house, Jay hugged her before she walked away. What was he doing? Who was her?

I followed the unknown girl closely until she stopped at a traffic light, perfect, I thought to myself. I'd play a character on her to take her and...

"Sorry.."

"huh?"

"Oh I'm so sorry, I can't find the bus stop. Can you help me?"

"Yeah sure"

I wanted to make sure that Jay didn't get to see her anymore... He couldn't get to see any other girls other than me... Even after the end of our relationship..

That night, the girl didn't go back to her house. I ended with her that same night, no one will know what happened to her... She deserved it, for seeing Jay at his house...

"What did you do?!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh you know damn well what I'm talking about... It's Hye-soo!"

"What about her?"

"You killed her. You're sick, I'm disgusted with you. Did you think I never knew about you stalking me?! I fucking saw your car every day! Even when I visited my parents! Are you serious?!"

"Oh well, congrats for guessing the truth. I never doubt your intelligence"

"You're disgusting, I don't wanna see you ever again"

"I love you too, Jay"

beep...

beep...

beep...

the phone call ended, he hung up.

☆゜・。。

thank you for reading!

do not copy, repost on other socials or translate. all rights reserved to @/stqrlite.

-🏷️

[boy-above]

i'm really upset basically my mom brought a cat home last year (rescued stray) and despite both me and my dad not wanting to keep him my mom kept him anyway. i told my mom that i didn't want a male cat because there's a good chance he'd spray in our house but she didn't care, and then she waited WAY too long to get him neutered despite me regularly telling her to please do it because he Did start spraying in our house. and you know where he was spraying most? on my stuff. i just had to clean up SO much piss in my basement craft room. on the walls, on my table, on my carpet, on my stuffed animals. i had to throw away stuff because it was saturated in piss. the cat tree my dad HAND MADE for me was covered in piss. when i told my mom a few weeks ago that She had to be the one to clean that because it was her cat and her fault she said "can't we just throw it away?" which made me so angry because like i said my dad made that for me. he peed on some of my build-a-bears which are really important to me and i had to throw away one of their wigs bc it was so bad. i'm going to tell her she needs to buy a replacement and if she complains i'll be even more upset.

it makes me so angry because if he'd been spraying on HER stuff this whole time, she would have been angry and she would have gotten him neutered much sooner. but she took her sweet fucking time because it was My Stuff and she didn't care. and she's probably going to be mad at Me when she wakes up and im angry at her, because no one has a right to be angry in this house except for her. if the roles were reversed she'd be threatening to kick me and the cat out of the house but she'd never admit that.

the worst part is that she's the one who brought the cat home but she doesn't even like the cat much now because he likes my dad more than her. she was like "i want an animal that's just my own" but was upset when he liked someone else more, so she got ANOTHER cat, cornbread, after that. and then you know what happened? she didn't think cornbread was affectionate enough so she brought a dog home. now we have so many extra animals me and my dad never wanted. my mom used to be an animal hoarder and we finally got the problem under control but it seems to have reared its ugly head again.

speaking of hoarding, my mom is also a hoarder in general. thankfully not enough that our floors are covered or anything, but she's insufferable in the fact that she'll hardly part with anything. she basically never donates anything and insists on selling everything, but she's too lazy to actually Do the selling so it sits around forever. i keep telling her that there's less fortunate people who could really use the stuff, including baby clothes from when my nephew was little (he's ten now. it's been sitting around for a decade.) one time she spent like 15 minutes digging through my trash to get a mcdonald's toy i'd thrown out, and then boasted about getting ten cents for it at a yard sale. i told her digging through trash is not normal and is invasive and weird but she doesn't think so. she digs through my trash semi-regularly and i just Know she's going to dig through the piss soaked stuff i just threw out and be angry that i'm trying to throw it out because it can ~totally be cleaned~ but i'm telling her that if she wants it she can deal with it and keep it somewhere she can smell it because i'm Not dealing with it.

life is a fucking nightmare sometimes. please assure me that digging through trash isn't normal because she seriously tries to gaslight me into thinking it is

[jacscorner]

My Former Students Are Still Brats As Adults!

Etra-Chan Saw It~

My name is Katsura. I'm the Principal for Etra Elementary. And I'm about to have a meeting with Miss Akane and Miss Yuzuriha. I can't help but feel anxious about this meeting.

See, back in the day when I was still a teacher, Akane and Yuzuriha were my students. And they were unruly, misbehaving students of mine. They spent a lot of time in detention. I heard from the grapevine they got their act together in Junior High, so I was happy to hear that they were on the right track. I had hope for their future.

And my hope was rewarded by meeting their children; Suzuran & Urushi respectively. And what entitled brats they are. They truly take after their mothers, acting just like they did back in the day. When I heard who their mothers were, I knew I had to speak to them personally. Normally, it's their fathers, Mr. Kuroki & Mr. Hiragi, whom I speak to in these meetings, but I had a hunch they were getting this attitude from somewhere else…

So, at the meeting…

Akane: I should have known you were the principal if my Suzuran is getting punished so frequently!

Yuzuriha: Yeah. You have it out for poor Urushi, don't you?

I knew it. Even after all these years, they still blame others for their poor choices…

Katsura: Miss Akane, Yuzuriha; I understand that you may not be fond of me, but this is about your kids. Not our past history.

Yuzuriha: Obviously, it is when you specifically request us by name!

Akane: Yeah! My husband told me you wanted to speak with just me! So what gives?!

Katsura: sigh Listen. I think it's time I did something I should have done a long time ago.

Akane/Yuzuriha: ???

Katura: When you two were little, I swore that I'd leave discipline to your parents. As a teacher, it's not my duty to punish you, but to educate you. After all, you were just kids. And i was sure your parents knew how to handle you better. But now, as a principal, I can see how foolish I was all those years ago.

Then, I stood up. Standing at my full height, I could see Akane and Yuzuriha shrink under my gaze.

Akane: W-wait!

Yuzuriha: Mister….Mister Katsura, what are you doing?!

Katsura: Something I should have done a long time ago…

And that's when I began to spank them.

Akane: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'M AN ADULT!

Katsura: Yes. And as an adult, you should know that not disciplining your child is your responsibility. So if you don't handle them at home, I'll handle you here! If the child misbehaves, then it's the parents who should be spanked.

Akane: W-WHAT?!

Katsura: And Yuzuriha, keep those arms up! You still have 15 minutes for your corner time. And I'll know if you rub your bottom!

Yuzuriha: Th-this is…humiliating…I can't take this…

Katsura: Yes you will or it's another turn over my lap for both of you!

Akane: NO! PLEASE!

Yuzuriha: W-we're sorry! We're sorry! We'll behave! W-we'll make sure our children behave!

It was the worst experience of my life, but I made sure it was even worse for Akane and Yuzuriha.

After that, I noticed that Suzuran and Urushi began to get in trouble less and less. By the time they graduated and were off to Junior High, they were perfectly behaved - unlike their mothers, who I had many more run ins. It hurts my heart to punish them, but it seems I'm still their teacher…

---

So, this idea was mostly a suggestion. I don't promise to do requests, but this one was almost too good not to. So thank chanceoutof20 for this being made.

Anyhoo, Katsura. Him being the principal was part of the request, and it was fun to finally draw an Etra-Chan character outside of their "base age". But, uh, yeah, Katsura, I feel, is a bit of a boring character. I kinda just lump him with Kuroki and Tokusa as being kinda of 'good guy trio'. Just kinda regular guys that the team can lean on for being a good guy. To Kuroki and Tokusa's credits, they have some more personality when compared to Katsura, but i'd be lying if I said any of them were my favorite.

But, despite my bias, I do think Katsura was the right choice for this role, as I don't think it would've fit anyone else. So, you know, maybe there is a purpose to him.

As for Suzuran and Urushi; no, I'm not sneaking my own OCs into this, lol. They're legit characters. If you're an English speaker like me and haven't heard of them, then that's because they've only appeared in Japanese and haven't been dubbed yet (as of now/as far as I know). Thank you Mallory36 for telling me this.

Finally, no matter how you think this story ends, I do not advocate the spanking of children. Regardless of what I may have done before, I do not draw or write children getting spanked. I like to think Akane and Yuzuriha just behaved better around their kids and they, in turn, followed their better example.

[pennyserenade]

you gotta tell me when you see “sunshine” and “28 days later” if you haven’t already those are my faaaaaaaaaaaaaave cillian murphy movies 🥹❤️ he’s such a doll, you have great taste in special little guys.

(was just thinking about sunshine and my brain was like MUST SEE IF MIRANDA HAS SEEN IT)

the one truly great thing about danny boyle and ewan mcgregor falling out is the fact that the world got cillian murphy out of it. that truly makes it all worth it. i have watched both 28 days later and sunshine ,and i LOVED them, and i will definitely tell you why in a second, but i need to tell you this story first: about three months ago (? it could've been later or sooner than that, time escapes me), i was cleaning my room and happily looking through hulu for a movie to get me through the hell that is that process. anyway, cillian murphy had just recently been nominated for best actor, and i'd watched oppenheimer a few weeks prior to that and i loved it, so when i saw the movie 28 weeks later i was like "fuck it, i'll watch the zombie movie and see what this cillian murphy is all about." the first 15 minutes i was like, "this is kinda weird, his fans talk about that film like he's really in it, but i'll wait it out and see" and then about 45 minutes in i was like "its really weird that he's still not here but i've gotten this far so i'll keep going" and then with 5 minutes left of the movie and not a cillian murphy in sight, i thought his fans were either the meanest, dirtiest liars of all fucking time, or that he wasn't gonna show up. and at the end, i finally realized that there are two movies: 28 days later and 28 weeks later, the latter of which i had spent a little over an hour watching waiting for our dearest cillian and the latter in which he is not in. spending that much time waiting for him really did something to me. i think, had i not made that mistake, we'd not be having this conversation right now. i'm dead serious lmao

anyway i think he was really fucking great in 28 days later. it took me until like two weeks ago to watch bc i was so pissed abt the 28 days later thing, but when i got to it i thought he had that perfect trainspotting ewan mcgregor gritty vibe to him, and the ending was INCREDIBLE. i love when they let cillian murphy kick ass. more than that i love when they let him go a little fucking insane. those blue eyes are a little unnatural and they should be used with that in mind! god bless danny boyle for it.

i thought sunshine was breathtaking. i'm amazed by the way the cgi held up, and i found the entire thing to be heartbreaking, and cillian was so fucking good. i mean -- better than good, really. having said that, i will admit that i didn't love it as much as i know i should've but it isn't because it wasn't good. it was really fucking good. i just had a stomachache at the end because it was as if danny boyle had went into my mind and dug up my greatest fears and said: would you like to know what hell looks like? and the hell was that. the sun going out? trapped in a space you can't get out? space? an uneven ratio of men to women? terrible. i will definitely rewatch that film in the future though because i really think it was good and i want to analyze it.

also: you also have the greatest taste in little guys. when you said you adored him i was like "we might be soulmates idk" lol.

[wychelm]

A little Jonesy appreciation post.

About a week or two ago this little ginger cat started hanging out in our backyard. We'd never seen him before and he meowed at us constantly. In spite of allergies I spent a lot of time hanging out with him. He seemed so young and lost, kept trying to get into our house and was ravenous for the little pieces of chicken we had to give him. The other older, bigger cats in the neighbourhood kept following him around and growling, and he seemed scared and lonely.

It's been on my mind a lot. I kept letting him into the kitchen in the daytime just so he had somewhere to go as he seemed desperate to be inside and crawl into a dark hole somewhere. I wasn't sure what to do. Maybe he was someone's new pet who'd gotten lost, maybe he was just trying to get more food and attention than he already had. Didn't seem right though. Why would he come hang out in our garden all day and evening if he had somewhere to go? Why was he meowing at us constantly?

Last night I was downstairs at 1:30am and I heard this great bloody thump on the window (scared the life out of me), but I knew it could only be Jonesy. I opened the door and there he was, meowing and trying to get inside. I let him in the kitchen again and made a little bed for him beneath a chair, which he took to immediately and fell asleep there. I sat there for an hour not knowing what to do. I couldn't shut the door and go to bed because God knows what he'd get up to in the kitchen (which wasn't cat-proofed, we don't have a litterbox etc.) but the thought of throwing him out again felt so evil.

In the end I made another bed outside under the lounger, which he took to again pretty quickly. I know it's dumb but I had such a hard time sleeping thinking about him out there on his own when I knew he just wanted to be curled up on my knee inside.

Well, anyway, today I was resolute about taking him to the vets. I looked like an idiot running around pet shops trying to find a cheap carrier, eventually borrowing one from the vets. I went home, managed to coax him into the carrier with food, walked to the vets with him freaking out inside it.

I sat in the waiting room for about 15 minutes feeling like a moron. Obviously they were gonna say he's chipped and I'd have to carry him back home again, release him, then take the carrier back, walk home again. But it turned out, Jonesy is a girl, and she's not microchipped or neutered. She is probably in heat or already pregnant, and is very hungry and has some soreness (probably why she's constantly been cleaning and itching herself). So, the vets are going to keep her for a week to see if anyone comes forward, and after that she'll be sent to an adoption centre. They let me say goodbye to her in the cat room & were really lovely about it, said I can call in the next week for updates on her health. I know it's silly because I've only known her for a little while but I'm so gutted. They said I could keep her after the 7 days but it's just not possible with how bad my allergies are. But I felt such a strong connection with her. She really trusted me and felt safe with me and I took that very seriously.

I'm sure she'll find a loving home and she's so sweet and friendly, so it's a positive outcome. But she made me so happy and I will miss her a lot. Good luck, Jonesy.

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter three

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

chapter zero, one, two

july 13, 2018

los angeles, california

orion

—

There are just over two weeks until Calum leaves for tour. It'll be the longest time we've spent apart since before we knew each other.

Sure, the first few months of our "relationship" — if you could've even called it that then — were spent apart, but I saw him almost every weekend for the first couple of months I was in Spain, and then once I was back in LA, he returned shortly thereafter and the rest is history.

All that to say, I'm devastated that he's leaving. I keep trying to tell myself it'll be the perfect chance to focus on LSAT prep and really do well in my classes this semester, but it's hard when the one person you want to talk to at the end of every shitty day and the one who I want to tell about every essay I get a 100 on will be gone for four months. Living together has put us in such close quarters that any time apart feels stiflingly lonely.

Today hasn't been that different. We both woke up around the same time, but I stayed in bed while he got up and got ready to head to rehearsal. He took Duke out so I didn't need to get up until I wanted to, made himself some semblance of a breakfast sandwich, and gave me a kiss goodbye.

I didn't really want to get out of bed this morning. For some reason, I've been feeling sick almost every other week it seems. My throat is sore, my body just aches, and I feel feverish. It's not flu season, which makes me assume it's just a cold, but I don't understand why it keeps coming back, so I made an appointment at my doctor's office to see if it's a sinus infection or something that we can make go away with antibiotics.

I got dressed in a random t-shirt from Calum's pile of "not quite dirty, but also not clean" clothes and a pair of cotton shorts, washed my face, and then left the house. I stopped at Starbucks for a coffee on my way to the doctor, just to feel a bit more awake, even though I know I'll inevitably feel like a zombie.

When I get to the doctor's office, it's a blur of blood draws, questions from nurses and techs, blood pressure cuffs and other measurements. I've never liked going to the doctor, and today is no different. Normally, I'd have asked Calum to come with me, but with the tour so close, I didn't want to take away from an important workday — even though I know he would've come with me if I asked.

Finally, after waiting in the sterile exam room for what feels like a few hours but was likely only a maximum of 15 minutes, my doctor and a nurse enter the room.

"Good morning, Orion!" He cheerily says.

"Good morning," I say, far less enthusiastically.

"Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit under the weather. Just so you know, we're not seeing anything too alarming just yet, but we're still waiting on your blood panel to get analyzed by the lab." He's rubbing a fresh blob of hand sanitizer into his skin while the nurse makes notes on her pad. It all feels very impersonal, part of a protocol, and almost like no one has thought to even talk to me.

"I wanted to ask," he continues. "Have you ever had a sinus infection?"

"I've had one, yeah."

"What did that feel like for you? Did it feel like this?"

I think back, trying to remember. I'd gotten one after weeks of country-hopping, following Calum around on tour. The plane germs and travel fatigue had gotten to me. I felt horrible, but the main thing I remember was how badly my face hurt. "It was different, I had a lot of sinus pain, this is just more generally... sick? Does that make sense?"

My doctor nods, and the nurse stays silent while she keeps writing. "I understand. Well, given your symptoms and since we haven't heard back from the lab on your blood panel, I'm going to go ahead and prescribe you some antibiotics. While we aren't sure that it's a sinus infection, I'd rather go ahead and treat you for that than wait and do nothing and find out this was our best bet all along."

I nod, my mouth feeling too dry to speak.

The nurse coughs from out of nowhere, and then she and the doctor exchange a few glances that seem to have a lot more meaning than I could ever understand. Then the doctor turns back to me.

"We also noticed that bruise along your collarbone. Is that kind of bruising normal for you?"

Involuntarily, my eyes widen. I can't believe he's just asked me that. "Uh," I start, my cheeks hot. "My uh, boyfriend... it's, it's not a bruise." I cough. I guess a hickey is a form of a bruise, but still.

The doctor's facial expression is unreadable but both he and the nurse then share more glances. "Got it, we're just trying to make sure your chart has all of your symptoms."

—

I leave the office $150 poorer and with a prescription for an antibiotic that I don't think is going to help me, and no answers in hand. The LA traffic makes my drive home take almost an entire hour, and all I want to do is take a nap.

I pull into the parking garage at the apartment building that Calum insisted was the right choice, parking in my space next to Cal's empty one. Our cars stick out in the garage, both older, beat up, and not luxury brands.

Living here wasn't my choice, at least not fully. I'd found us a building where a lot of other UCLA students live, mostly the richer ones whose parents pay for everything, closer to campus, but Cal didn't feel like he'd be able to live there with its central location and lack of security. He doesn't get followed often, but when he does, he doesn't like to cause too big of a scene.

The building we do live in, though, I can barely afford to pay a quarter of the rent for. Cal insisted it was fine, he could pay the whole rent himself without issue, but I didn't feel right letting him do that. We have it worked out so that all I do is pay utilities and occasionally a few hundred toward the actual rent, which even still I have a hard time letting happen, but Calum basically refused to let me set up my account on the autodraft payment for the rent.

I know that sounds like something lots of people would love, not needing to pay any part of the rent, I just hate feeling like I'm taking advantage of Calum and our situation. He kept saying that my education was the most important thing and once I'm making money and out of debt I can contribute as much as I want.

Regardless, I feel out of place parking my shitty car and wearing a worn out, partially dirty t-shirt where I live. We've been here for almost a year and we still don't have any friends in the building. I've gotten pretty familiar with Ron, the main security officer in the lobby, but aside from that, we're only met with snobby glares and passive aggressive elevator encounters.

Ready to just go lay down, I enter the lobby, swiping my fob and dodging a neighbor wearing a suit who’s angrily talking on the phone. Ron is behind the desk in the lobby, as usual.

“Morning,” I call to him. He waves happily back and I keep walking. Normally I’d stop and chat, ask if he’d like me to bring him a coffee, but I just don’t have it in me today.

When I get up to our apartment, Duke is waiting for me at the door. I sigh, wishing I could just go lay down, but he needs to go out. I feel like a zombie as I trudge through the apartment, grabbing his leash and poop bags, hooking him into his harness and then going back to the elevator.

By the time I’ve taken Duke out and gotten back to the apartment, my whole body aches and begs to rest. I turn on the TV and just pick something random from Netflix for white noise.

“C’mere,” I tell Duke, curling into a ball under the massive fuzzy blanket Crystal got me for Christmas last year. I pat a space on the couch next to me, and he hops up, nestling next to me and quickly settling.

I sigh, finally at ease, and lean my head back against the pillows on the couch.

read next chapter

—

a/n: guys i’m so happy people are reading this 🥹 shorter chapter. just leading up to the good stuff!!

[thessalian]

Thess vs "Little" Extras

So once again, work is seismic levels of bullshit.

We weren't doing too badly - just about caught up, in fact. This is despite the fact that every single last one of the little fuckers I work with keep leaving me with the problem dictations. So I get all the placentas (and The Placenta Guy is working overtime at the moment, damn near literally), all the bowel resections (dictated by people who either dictate too fast, speak with a difficult accent, dictate a report full of grammatical errors, or all of the above), and all the ones by the various newbies who either haven't figured out that maybe switching off the recording while you're taking measurements would be a good idea so that a typist doesn't have to sit through 10-15 seconds of silence between each measurement, have no idea how block keys work, or both. This is my main annoyance. I may have little snippets designed to make typing the stuff The Placenta Guy throws at me a little easier, but that shouldn't be an excuse to throw all of them at me. And yes, I know they do this to me specifically because when I see the queue get larger and look over, I see stuff that was put into the queue before any of the stuff in mine, put there by someone who picked it up out of the queue and decided they didn't want to do it so put it back.

(At least they seem to have figured out that if they're going to pull that shit on me, they should take some of the bullshit from The Breast Guy off my hands.)

Anyway, today all the doctors doing dictation a) came in somewhere in the middle of the day, b) dictated their asses off, and c) dumped the typing into the queue in big blocks of 20+ reports at a go. So you can imagine that even working flat-out, our queue went from mid double figures to low triple figures and we couldn't whittle it down. So that's a mess to look forward to come Tuesday - especially given that they seem to have been coming in on weekends lately, too. I heard talk in our last staff meeting (our first staff meeting, really) that we were looking for a new staffer. That was months ago and I have, of course, heard jack squat. So this is fun.

So in the middle of all this - dealing with all the fiddly frustrating bits of typing that no one wants to do - I get an email from Scruffman, my manager. He's apparently supposed to be writing a Standard Operating Procedure document for the department. Thing is, he's not writing it. Apparently he either can't be arsed or doesn't know what our SOP actually is. Because he asks me if I can write a step-by-step SOP guide to the typing so he can put it in his document. That's ... it. No details. So, grumbling because I am busy actually doing the SOP he's asking me to put down on 'paper', I put together a bullet-pointed list and go, "Is that the sort of thing you were after?" He says yes. I think that's done.

Nope. Then he emails me back going, "So could you grab some screenshots, and put that and your list together as a Word document?"

...I really want to know why he asks me to do the fiddly shit. I'd feel a lot better about it if he told me that it's because I'm one of the most competent people in the department instead of just dumping it on me without any sort of comment, which generally leaves me to think that he picks me for this shit because I'm the one that won't complain at him.

Anyway, I tell him I don't actually have Word on my work laptop. I don't use Word at work. (Hell, I don't use Word at home; I have OpenOffice). But, because I do believe in actually doing my fucking job, I tell him that the only way I could do it is if I took the screenshots, emailed them to myself, and did it on my home computer.

To which he says, "Great; Tuesday's fine. Thanks!"

Now I'm trying to figure out whether I want to start late or leave early on Tuesday because there is no way I'm doing that shit unpaid. Thankfully, I know for a fact that Scruffman would never expect me to (he told me to log out early when I spent 15 minutes of my own time filling out my staff evaluation form, and this is far more delineated as 'work') so that's fine. Thing is, we're getting to a point where I don't know how much we can afford to have me off doing something else. I am the one person in the fucking department who doesn't dodge any work that might be deemed 'difficult' or 'annoying' or 'something they just don't want to do'.

Anyway, after all this, I have to leave the house. Enough groceries to tide me over until the monthly Big Shop can be delivered, and pain meds. It's been a rough week and I keep getting migraine stabs. It's not fun.

[your-queer-dad]

(Vent sorry, not about queerness I just have nowhere else to say this where I'll get any sort of response)

Ive been having to deal with so much stuff lately. Like I was fine when I was in the midst of severe depression cause I didn't think I'd live very long anyways but now I need to come to terms with everything I've been ignoring for at least a year and at most my whole life. Like I'm AuDHD in a decently ableist family (middle/working class white cishet moderate leftists who think they're very progressive, you know the type) and I've had absolutely shit experiences with the people who should be helping me with that stuff (my old therapist was actively uneducated and ableist, my psychiatrist was a white cishet man in his 60s or 70s and I had to teach him what masking is and how adhd and autism present in AFAB people) which makes that really difficult in general because all my friends know I have AuDHD but I can't officially come out and say that I do because my family will deny it and tell me I'm being attention seeking and looking for excuses for being lazy and a flawed person. I also don't physically look the way I've been convincing myself I look naturally for a long time (yay anorexia recovery) and it's just messing me up a lot because when I look at my reflection I just feel visceral disgust. I'm still on the lower end of a healthy weight, but I can only see a few of my ribs now and my stomach isn't flat anymore. Everyone else says they can't notice but I feel like I've lost everything that made me good, and I'm scared that gaining weight is going to stop me from passing. I hate being with my parents and I just feel like I'm a horrible person for that, I only got hit once and other than that they're just toxic and sort of manipulative/emotionally abusive. They try their best they just can't raise me right and I feel like shit for that. I wish I could be spending more time outside, but I had a medical emergency thing on Tuesday (my mom doesn't let me call it a seizure because we don't know for sure) and I'm scared that that's going to happen again, and my constant joint pain has just gotten worse. My friends are telling me that I need to talk to a doctor about this, but the wait time for rheumatology is insane and my parents thing I'm making it up/exaggerating/looking for attention and even if they believe me they don't think it's important and worth getting help for. I'm scared that I'm going to die, last time it happened my entire body went numb and stiff and I couldn't move and I was just twitching for like 15 minutes. I also completely lost my vision before this happened, and it was greyscale/coming back slowly for the entire thing, plus I could barely hear anything. If that happens again I genuinely think that I might die. I also have scars all over my legs and chest and I have to either hide them or find some sort of explanation for them that won't make the people I work with during the summer think I'm not suited for working with kids (summer camp counseling). I spent all of last year thinking I was never going to turn 15 and now I kind of wish I hadn't.

I want to live but it's all so overwhelming and if I falter or let my parents see that I'm scared, they'll force me into the role of a small child and start treating me like a toddler or an animal like they always do. I just don't know what to do and I know it's horrible and selfish and disgusting but I just wish my mom would die. I can't live like this, it's only 3 more years but I'm just so scared. She keeps threatening me and saying I won't get into college or I'm failing high school because of how long I was out of school due to psych ward stuff even though she knows that not getting into college is my main fear- if that happens, I can't keep going. I know that I'm going to kill myself if I can't get into college. After that I'm still going to need to pay off student loans and I might not have my best friend with me (if I have him ill be okay and he says that he promises he'll try to live with me in college) and I just can't deal with that. I need to catch up on school and I need to learn to drive and then I need to get ready for my job in the summer and I need to make sure my grades are good enough for colleges to want me and I need to get people to like me and I just can't do it. I don't want to die but I feel like it's the only answer, I'm just not capable of doing this. I'm not supposed to be alive. I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Sorry about the rant you don't need to answer at all I know this is a lot

-🔆

Hey kiddo. Please please don't apologise for reaching out, I'm here for you and I'm always here for you, night and day my inbox and DMs are always open to anyone who needs to talk.

God, it sounds like you've had a rough deal. I understand where you're coming from. With parents, it's so hard when they don't do what they're supposed to do as parents and they don't understand you or believe you when you ask for help. It's awful and I am so sorry.

From the sounds of things, it sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself, as well as all that pressure around you. As scary as the future is, it isn't going to creep up on you one day. It's tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and the day after that and every single day after that. You have time to breathe and rest and do whatever you need to do. You can't do everything at once, you're only human- and expecting yourself to do everything at once only caused burn out and stress.

Also, as a person who's gone through eating disorder recovery- weight doesn't stop you from passing. I promise you it doesn't. It's a good thing! It's a sign that all the work you've done recovering has paid off. I'm proud of you.

Keep your head up kiddo, I'm so so proud of you. Remember to take care of yourself, let yourself breathe and don't expect yourself to do everything all at once. I'm here anytime you need to talk.

Love you,

- dad x

[negative-speedforce]

2, 4, 8, 11, 15 ("fell in love" can be used loosely if you'd like), 18, 21, and 25 for Jay and Ellis please?

2) Will they have any children? What are their names?

Jay: Yes! Regina "Reggie" Barron is Jay and Cassandra's child and they named xir after Jay's dead best friend.

Ellis: Probably not. They might be placed in a guardian angel position over a child at some point, but that's more like a godparent.

4) What color or colors do you most associate with your OC?

Jay: Cool tones, like soft blues and greens. Specifically- sky blue, seafoam green, olive green, baby blue.

Ellis: Sky colors, I guess I'd call them? Metallic gold and silver, white, light gray, blue-white.

8) Greatest strength and greatest flaw about your OC?

Jay: Jay's greatest strength is his earnestness. He puts his entire self into everything he does, and he's very steadfast in what he believes in and his loyalty to the people he loves. His greatest weakness is that he's loyal to a fault. He will stand by a person who he cares about, even if they're destroying both him and themself (see: Siv)

Ellis: Ellis' greatest strength is their compassion. They're always willing to help someone in need, no matter the cost. Their greatest weakness, on the other hand, is their inability to understand humans. Given that they've spent most of eternity with other angelic beings, only coming down to earth for specific missions, they don't really get mortals.

11) What actor or voice actor do you see best playing as your OC?

Jay: While preferably I would put out a casting call for a trans guy who uses mobility aids, Sasha Allen I think is the closest to how I imagine Jay.

Ellis: Immediately Gwendoline Christie. She'd be 100% perfect for Ellis, full stop. Plus, she's already played Lucifer in The Sandman, so she'd already have experience playing an angelic being.

15) Has your OC ever fallen in love before who their intended love interest is, or is the intended love interest their first love?

Jay: He dated Cat for a minute, but they didn't work out, since Cat realized partially through their relationship that she was aroace and was just dating him because she was scared to be alone.

Ellis: Has never been in love in the traditional human sense. I'm not even sure if they'd particularly understand the concept.

18) What is your OC’s greatest fear?

Jay: Losing another friend. One reason Jay is so fiercely protective of the people he cares about is because he doesn't want another Gina to happen.

Ellis: Becoming something they're not. Because of their smiting, Ellis is terrified that when they finally lose all their angelic traits, they'll become something malevolent and hurt someone they care about.

21) Any embarrassing secrets your OC demands you take to the grave but you will share anyway?

Jay: Paid for his engineering degree by drawing furry porn for commissions. To be fair, he only had to attend a year and a half of college, since he graduated so early, but he's probably never going to tell anyone how he paid for school.

Ellis: Crashed through a barn roof when they fell from heaven and spent the next few days hiding out in said barn, living with the cows and the horses.

25) The name you chose for your OC, why did you chose it?

Jay: In the original version of my fic, which was a Marvel/DC/Star Wars/Percy Jackson crossover (I was 14, okay and I thought that was THE SHIT), Jay was the kid of Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye (Yes, I did change only one letter of his last name when I adapted out all the Marvel stuff) so I chose his name to sound similar to Clint's other kids.

Ellis: Their name means either "Benevolent", which fits their personality and story pretty well, or "the lord is god" which is a pretty good name for an angel. In disguise as a human, Ellis goes by "Ellis Angelos", with "Angelos" being just "Angels"

[joelsreligion]

Don't Tell (part 3)┊ dbf!Joel x Reader

(a/n) I started this story without much of a plot in mind but I think I figured one out that I'd like to write out so !!! excited for tht. My tiktok is also nothing but Pedro and other dilfs and there was a comment on a Peña edit that said 'omg the way he turns' AND I FELT THAT IN THE DEEPEST CORE OF MY HEART because the GRIP this man has on me is nuts. But yeah, maybe expect someee more plot in the next part :) I need to figure it out

(Summary) (10k) Joel tells you he wants to take some time to think about what happened and you're upset :( Your dad, Sarah, you n Joel finally go to the lake house and arrive there on a CRISP Friday afternoon and everyones exhaustedd. You and Joel go out for groceries cause you're bored and there's no food.

(Warnings) exhibitionism, f masturbation and fingering, kind of oral f receiving, m teasing, dirty talk, spit :D (dirty Joel Miller drives me crazy idk), m fingering f, mention of pills/painkillers, and anything else I forget to mention

The early summer sun flooded your room at 7 in the morning on an early Friday. The shine of the rays woke you up early following your light 5 hour sleep. After what happened with Joel, you felt light on your feet and your body was too fired up to rest. 

Might as well get up; Should start packing. 

You got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. You completed your hygiene rituals and then grabbed everything you needed to put in a little plastic pouch. You walked back out into the bedroom and headed for your closet. You grabbed some shirts and shorts and walked over to your bed to put everything down. You made your way over to your dresser and opened the middle drawer. You stared at your pile of bras and underwear and felt a heat rise up your neck. You weren’t sure what would happen (if anything would happen) at the lake house with Joel, but you wanted to look good. You wanted to look good for him and wear something that would make him feel crazy. Maybe it wasn’t the safest thing to spend time with him in that way when you could easily get caught, but you also knew you couldn’t help yourself. It didn’t take much to convince you to give in. 

Yeah no, looks like I’m trying too hard. You folded over a lace thong. 

No.. not those. You pushed aside some worn out, olive green, boy shorts. 

Ok, this is fine. You held onto a pair of navy cloth in your fingers. The sides that wrapped around your hips were thinner than the rest of the piece and they had white stitching all around it. It wasn’t too much and it wasn’t too tacky. It was just good enough that it didn’t seem like you picked it out intentionally or anything, but very clearly you did. You rummaged around for a couple more pairs and closed your drawer only to open the one below that. You looked through your attempted efforts to fold your bikinis and chose a top and bottom piece that matched. You couldn’t help yourself but to pick things out with him in mind; What he’d like best, what his favorite colors were, did he like you better in jeans or shorts. It was barely a week since you saw him for the first time but you were completely infatuated with him. Everything you knew about him and the things you had yet to learn made your heart fuzzy and you couldn’t help but smile. 

Your mind went over to the way his lips felt on your stomach. His musky, wood and leather scent that followed him. The softness of his voice. How he looked at you when you told him to keep going. 

The blush itched at your neck and you squeezed your eyes shut trying to dismiss the memories. 

I don’t have time. Not right now. 

You needed to get your things together and pack for your dad. You closed your drawer containing all your swimwear and spent the next 15 minutes grabbing any other small things you might need. Your hairbrush, lotion, shampoo, charger, things like that. You packed everything in your old duffel bag and made your way to your dads room with your bag in hand. 

Packing for him was a lot easier. He was very simple. A couple plain tees, a pair of jeans, some shorts, and you didn’t contemplate what you grabbed, you just grabbed it. It was quick. You folded everything into one of his used travel bags and walked downstairs with one in each hand. Just as you put them down by the door, you saw Joel’s truck pull into the driveway. You unlocked the door so they’d be able to come in and made your way to the kitchen so you could make something to eat. You pulled out some pre-cut fruit and started to work on the batter for your waffles when you heard a knock. 

“It’s open” you yelled from behind the kitchen island. 

The front door opened, letting the warm and fresh air fill the room. You looked up at the door and saw your dad smile at you. 

“There she is. How’s my girl?” He stepped in slowly and put two fingers up to his temple and rubbed. He cautiously made his way to a chair across the island from you and sat down. You chuckled lightly. 

“A lot better than you, looks like it” 

“Ha ha. Oou, no..” he squinted his eyes a little harder. His face scrunched together and he took in a breath to try and relieve some pain “..can’t do that right now. Head’s killin’ me.” 

“Oh here,” you stopped making your breakfast and looked around for the bottle of painkillers Joel brought over last night “..I think we have some ibuprofen.. or, uh..” 

Where the hell’s the damn bottle.

Your dad didn’t look up. His eyes were still squinted shut and one hand was supporting his chin while the other kept massaging his temple. You looked all around the counter and your face flushed with embarrassment. You got a little aimless and moved the hair out of your face to try and gain some composure. You went into a silent, erratic panic when you tried looking for the thing Joel gave you. 

“..here. Found it. Aspirin.” You tried to level your breath. You followed the directions on the cap and twisted it off. You tapped the bottle into your hand until a single pill tumbled down and you put it on the counter in front of your dad. He opened his eyes and put the pill between the pads of his thumb and index finger. 

“I’ll get you some water.” You turned around and made your way to the cupboard for a plastic cup. You walked towards the fridge and pushed the rim of the cup towards the sensor. 

“Hey where’d you find these?” 

Shit.

“What?” You called out from the fridge. You didn’t fully turn around, but you twisted your head a bit to make it seem like you really didn’t hear him. Your hand trembled a little and you moved your body to try and cover it up from your dad. 

He doesn’t knowwww it was Joel’s. It’s fine. He wouldn’t ever think that. Just.. breathe and..breathe. Just breathe. Holy shit. It’s fine. 

“I thought we didn’t have any more. Put it on the uh, the shoppin’ list but I forgot to-”

“To take the list with you?” You finished his sentence and pulled your cup away from the sensor. Your heart settled and the heat in your cheeks diminished into your surroundings. You turned around to walk over to him and place the cup down in front of him. 

“Yeah..I, I forgot to take the list with me” 

You gave him a soft smile and responded to his defeat. 

“It’s fine. I found an extra bottle in the uh..” you swallowed “..the living room.” You tried to sound as unshaken as you could. You paid attention to everything. The pitch of your voice, your breathing, you made sure not to tap your fingers on the counter or swallow too much; all tells that you were lying. 

Your dad gave you a little nod and put the pill on his tongue. He brought the cup to his lips and you watched him drink it down while you suddenly remembered you were cooking. You walked over to the stove and heard another knock on the already open door. 

“Mornin’” Joel called from the doorway “.. can we come in?” 

“Yeah, hey! Come in” You called from the kitchen. You gave him a sheepish smile and a look that lingered for a second too long. Thankfully your dad didn’t notice, his eyes were closed right after he took the pill. Joel returned the look and glanced at the counter where he was standing a couple hours ago. He looked at how it was now occupied by a bowl of mango and a bowl of batter.

So domestic. He thought 

Sarah followed in behind her dad and walked over to where your dad was sitting. She greeted you and began a conversation while you cooked some extra waffles for your guests before heading out. 

“Wait so, we’re all going in one car then?” You grabbed a piece of mango and raised it to your mouth as you asked the question. 

“Not unless you want your dad to drive like that '' Sarah reveled from in front of you. Your dad groaned. He usually would’ve had a more engaging comeback but he didn’t have it in him now. 

“Mmm. Yeah, fair. Ok just, here help yourselves..” You put a plate with waffles in front of your dad and Sarah “..and I’ll be back in a minute. Imma throw the bags into the truck”

You ignored Joels stare on you as you spoke. You headed for the door and picked up the two bags on the way out, you could feel his eyes on you. He took in slow steady breaths and kept an unfazed expression as he watched you walk away, then he turned back to Sarah.

“I’ll be back kid, ‘mma help her put the things in the car.” He gave her an unassuming smile and she barely heard what he said. She was too busy chewing on the food in front of her. Joel walked out of the house and down the driveway until he reached the trunk of his car where you were just about to throw in the first bag. 

“Hey.” He said something first. You hadn’t noticed him as he walked up to you but you definitely noticed him now.

“Hey” you responded softly. You gave him a smile and noticed that he was wearing the same gray shirt he had worn the night before.

“You’re wearin’ clothes this time.” He looked at your jeans and gave you a small crooked grin when he tilted his head to the side.

You let out a breath with a smile. 

“I was wearing clothes last time you saw me, too.”

“Barely.”

Your cheeks flushed lightly and you stopped moving to fully turn your body to face him. Your right hand came up to your face and you put the free piece of hair behind your ear. You looked at him and the way he was standing. He was leaning his shoulder on the truck and his hands were crossed over his chest. His right foot crossed over his left and his face was covered with delicate but prominent features. 

“You’re complaining that I was wearing clothes?” Your smile made him grin “I would’ve thought my clothes were annoying you.”

You looked at him. Intimately. His eyes were dark and flirty. You knew Joel enjoyed playful banter but this was the first time you’d returned it on a different level. You felt you had a whole different area to play into and you knew he’d play into it just as well.

“I think you were annoyed you were wearin’ any..” his face was still “..I worked my way around it jus’ fine.” His smirk was devilish and you couldn’t ignore the pit in your stomach that was growing larger every second he looked at you. 

“Just fine?” Your eyebrow raised as you spoke and your smile never left your face. He was pushing you. You liked it but you didn’t want to give in so you pushed back.

“Jus’ fine. ” He didn’t give in. His words were short and still but they were also the opposite. They were warm and sweet and they let you know everything you needed to know about what he was thinking. His subtle Texas accent made your heart flood with lust and you stared at him, taking in every bit that you could. 

In a couple seconds his expression changed and he wasn’t leaning on the truck anymore. He also wasn’t smiling. His hands came down to his hips and he stared at the floor with a weighted look. 

“Look, I- I liked what happened last night ok but..you need to give me some time to think about it.” He didn’t look at you but you looked at him. Even though his face was angled towards the floor, you saw how his eyebrows furrowed and the disillusioned look he held. 

“Think about..what..? Where’s this coming from.” It wasn’t a question, you were demanding something. The tightness in the air completely changed and now you were the one with your hands crossed over your chest. 

“Everythin’. It was very sudden n, it wasn’- I’m not sayin’ I didn’t enjoy it because I did, but I-”

“Yeah you said that, so what’s there to think about.” Your words were edged. You were impatient.

Joels head came up and his eyes met yours

He’s giving me that fucking look again.

It wasn’t a good look. He gave it to you last night. It was the look you hated and the one that made you feel like a helpless little girl when you very much weren’t.

Pity.

“Baby, you’re my-”

“Yeah your best friends daughter, your daughters best friend, you said that yesterday. What’s there to think about? Why can’t-” 

Your voice was raising but you had no idea and Joel cut you off.

“You need to keep your voice down.” It was barely above a whisper; like somehow it would cancel out your volume.

“What?”

“You’re screamin’ n they-”

“I’m not screaming. You’re being dramatic.” Your words were rough.

“Right well the doors open n your dad n my daughter are in there so keep your voice down.”

The reminder that your dad and Sarah could easily overhear your conversation grounded you, quickly. You were a little hurt. You were confused. 

He said he wanted it to happen again but he’s making up some excuse to stop it from happening? What the hell, Joel. Jesus christ. 

You think you were quiet for a little too long and it gave Joel the opportunity to say something else.

“Look, nevermind alrigh’? Jus’ forget I said anythin’. If you can go in the house with a smile, that’d be great so they don’ think anythin’s wrong ok baby? We can-”

“Hey are we good to go?” Sarah called from the door. You looked up and felt a little startled. Joel also looked at Sarah. It took a split second for you to process everything but then you forced a smile on your face as quickly as you could.

“Yeah we’re done. We’re good.” You spoke as if nothing had happened. 

“K. I’ll let your dad know.” Sarah spoke to you. She turned around from the door and made her way back into the kitchen. 

Joels head turned back to your direction but you kept staring at the door trying to avoid his looks. You swallowed back the damage and pulled yourself together. 

He’s not gonna see me upset. He’s not gonna do that to me.

You calmed yourself down the quickest you’ve ever done and turned back to look at Joel. You met his stare and gave him a simple smile that you hoped would mask every other emotion you were feeling. 

“‘Go in the house with a smile?’ Really?” You looked at him with a trace of treason, like you couldn’t believe he had said that to you. Your words were low and emotionless. You wanted this to be over. “We’re done..right? The uhm- the conversations..done?” 

Keep it together. It’s fine. Keep it together.

Joel saw right past your feeble attempt at pretending to be ok. His head tipped to the side, his eyebrows raised a little, and that look that you despised was back. His mouth was tight and he didn’t say a word.

K. There’s my answer.

“We should go..before it gets any later.” You walked past Joel, around the truck and made your way back inside with a smile that you hoped was a lot better than the one you gave Joel. 

You helped them quickly clean up while Joel started the car and before you knew it, everyone was taking their designated spots in his truck. Your dad sat next to Joel in the passenger seat and reclined it as far as he was able to. Sarah sat behind your dad with her legs crossed on the seat and that left you to sit behind Joel, with an agonized attitude. 

About an hour had passed and you hadn’t said much, you didn’t feel like saying much. Some country station was filling up the muted silence in the air and the smell of grass was infiltrating the truck from outside. The sun was hot and you stared out of the window while the wind wrestled with your hair. Joel was driving down a two way street and when you peeked out the front, you saw no end to the road. You leaned back into your seat and closed your eyes but the silence between everyone was irking you. You weren’t really bothered because it was quiet, you were bothered because Joel had hurt you and you wanted to externalize your anger. You looked at Sarah’s head bounce against the window while she slept and you saw your dads sweater draped over his face, trying to cover all the light. You couldn’t do anything but think. 

Maybe I made it a big deal and it wasn’t that big of a deal. Maybe.. it is reasonable that he’d want to think about it? But it doesn’t make sense. Why would he tell me he enjoyed it, say those things to me, but then shut it down right after. And why- no, the flirting is what doesn’t make sense. He was flirting. And then he just brings up his doubts out of the blue? Makes no fucking sense. If anything, I’m the one who should tell him I need to think about it. Yeah. Mixed signals and shit. He should be the one stressing out right now, not me. I could accidentally say something or- ohymgod. Stop, holy- shit stop. Maybe this is why he wanted to think about it. Does he think I can’t handle it? Does he think I can’t think straight? No. Bullshit. I can think straight, he’s the one making this weird. I can handle this. Whatever, I don’t know. Maybe..maybe he’s just- god. I don’t even know. Think about what Joel, what's there to think about. 

From the time you had that conversation with Joel in your driveway to now, your feelings have developed. You weren’t at the stage of hurt and embarrassment anymore, now you felt angry, annoyed, betrayed. Truly you didn’t understand why he wanted to think about it so much or what he was even thinking of. If he was weighing out pros and cons, you could do the same. If he was trying to figure out if you were worth the sneaking around, you could do the same. You had just as much to lose as he did but you didn’t feel like that was enough to keep you away from something that felt right. You enjoyed him. All of him. You’d began to view Joel differently. Not just physically, but character wise. You noticed how kind, compassionate, and considerate he was. You noticed how he washed his dishes when he was a guest in someone’s home. How he got politely upset when someone tried to pay a bill before he could. How he was more than willing to drive Sarah a couple hours to a different town just for a soccer game. He took care of the people he loved and he wanted to always make sure they felt cared for and respected. 

Your heart began to soften. Your mind thought back to all the different memories you had of Joel. You gained a completely new perspective of them and started to slightly understand what he might mean by ‘I need to think about this.’ Yeah you had things to lose if shit went south, but he had more at stake. You and your dad were the only family that Joel had here. Tommy came and went but he never stuck around long enough and your dad was as much a brother to Joel than Tommy was. Not only that, but his daughter would lose her bestfriend. She wouldn’t have you to confide in. She also wouldn’t feel the same about her dad.

Shit. He’s risking a lot. 

You began to feel selfish. You didn’t think this was as serious as you did now. Now you understood. You truly felt like a little girl now that you thought back to how you reacted. 

I was so fucking selfish. Ohmygod. Jesus christ Joel, I'm sorry. My god, I'm so sorry. 

You really did start to feel embarrassed. You usually were good at analyzing situations even when your own emotions came into play but maybe this time it was different. Maybe this time you honestly had no clue what you were doing and you needed to think things through very carefully, run through every option and come up with a plan. 

You started to doze off to the sounds of the radio and the wind rushing by. The warm air stroked your hair and calmed your thoughts while the two way road bled into a little secluded town in the middle of nowhere. There was a gas station that Joel was headed towards. Everyone was asleep, you were dozing off. He pulled up to the side of the road to drive into the lot and he accidentally ran over the curb. Sarah’s head hit the window a little too hard and the swaying of the truck woke you and your dad up. 

“Oh..sorry ‘bout that.” Joel said flatly from behind the wheel, but he didn’t look over at anyone, nor did he look sorry about it. It probably woke him up as much as it did you. 

He pulled up to a pump with a worn down, peeled off number on it and turned off the car. Your dad grunted as he sat up and said something about looking for a bathroom. Sarah asked around if anyone wanted any snacks before she went into the store and bought some things for the rest of the ride. It was just you and Joel left in the truck.

Joel was inserting his credit card into the little slot below the screen and pressed some buttons. The loud beeping sounds responded after every push Joel gave them. You watched him. You felt sorry for the way you reacted and wanted to say something. You felt like a dog walking back to its owner with its tail between its legs. His shoulders were pulling at the fabric of his shirt and the hair falling on his neck curled up and swayed with the wind for a while. Your window was down and he was close to you, the gusts of wind flowed in your direction and you could smell his cologne from where you were. The sun touched his exposed skin and you looked at how lively his skin received the warmth. You felt uneasy when you tried to speak up, you weren’t used to apologizing first in arguments but with him it felt different, it felt like the mature thing to do. 

You unbuckled your seatbelt and scooted up towards your window. You placed your arms flatly along the slit where the glass was supposed to be and rested your head on your arms. His back was to you and you tried to soften the atmosphere with a smile. 

“Hey.” This time you spoke first. He turned his head and looked at your smile. You saw his face pull up into a small grin just before he turned his attention back onto the screen. 

“Hey.” He grabbed the gas pump and put it into the car. His body was now facing your direction and he was staring at you, waiting for you to say something else. Your eyes sparkled and you couldn’t help but admire him even though you were still a little hurt. He was beautiful and looking at him made you feel anxious with ease. It was weird that he had this effect on you, he relaxed your body into a steady state but also kindled you and made you feen for his attention.   

“Uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about what you said and I just..sorta, attacked you.” 

“Sorta?” His voice was deep and the smoothness of it tickled your heart for a moment. Hearing him speak always did that to you. His grin became a smile and you could tell in that moment he fully forgave you. Truthfully, he wasn’t even expecting an apology. He wasn’t ever upset at you, he understood why you reacted the way you did, but he let you apologize anyway. He had a feeling the words were more for you than they were for him. 

“Ok relax. I don’t apologize alright I’m just- I’m trying to be mature about this whole thing. I overreacted a little and I wasn’t thinking about Sarah and my dad and all of that. I’m sorry.” 

Joel’s hand gripped the pump and shook it to get the last drops of gas out of it. He put it right back in its place and opened your car door. You adjusted yourself and sat with your feet dangling outside and your hands resting on your lap. Joel’s arms were stretched out on either side of him. One hand was holding the door open and the other hand was holding onto the frame of the car.  

“This is your first time apologizing for…anything?” He was overlooking the apology. 

This is hard for me as it is man just..pay attention. 

“Mm no..I’ve apologized for other things but I never..I’m- I don’t do..this.” You were squirming. You felt uncomfortable and you could see he was enjoying it. His smile turned into a smirk and he blinked as he watched you get the words out. 

“So you’re sayin’ I’m your first?” 

You blushed. 

Jesus christ. Asshole. 

Now you were embarrassed. 

How is he thinking about that right now. I’m swallowing my pride and getting made fun of. 

“Joel. Please. I’m serious.” You giggled between words and tried to laugh the embarrassment away. 

“Nah I know baby I’m jus’ messin’ with you. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’ have jus’ sprung that on you..” You looked down into your lap and played with your fingers while he kept talking “..we can talk about it if you’d like.” 

You looked up into his gaze and gave him a soft look. 

“Yeah. Yeah I think that’s a good idea.” 

You felt more relaxed. Your mind wasn’t drawing up wrong conclusions and you were able to feel settled. 

“Good.” There was a pause after he said that. Joel looked at the door where your dad and Sarah were supposed to be coming out of but there was no sign of them anywhere. You followed his movements and looked at the doors. Nothing. You both looked at eachother and he gave you a sincere look then started to speak again. “How’s the trip so far?”

You relaxed into the seat and responded with a beam.

“Oh, so interesting. So far I’ve seen the back of your neck, your wrist, a rabbit in a field somewhere, and the gas station of a town in the middle of nowhere.” Your satirical comments made Joel drop his head with a breath and you saw him suppress a laugh. He straightened his lips into a kind smile and looked back up at you. 

“You think sarcasm’s funny?” 

“You thought it was funny.” 

“No I didn’t.” 

“But you laughed.”

“No I didn’t.” 

“But I just saw you laugh.”

“Yeahhhh, but I didn’t laugh.” 

Your brows furrowed and you gave him a false frown. 

“You’re a buzz kill y’know.” Your words were meant to come out a lot more serious but you couldn’t help but grin when you spoke. 

“That’s funny cause I think I'm a pretty fun guy.” 

“So you’re self-centered is what you’re saying.” 

Joel smiled. He liked banter with you. You made it easy and he liked that you weren’t intimidated by it.

“I just know I’m funny. Tha’s all I’m sayin’.” 

“Mhmm.” Your conversation ended there. You heard the distant ring of a bell when the door from the gas station store opened and you saw your dad and Sarah walking back into the truck. Joel motioned for you to sit back properly in your seat and he closed the door. He got into the drivers seat just as your dad and Sarah made their way into the car. Sarah was talking and giggling and your dad looked awkward. Not in the way where he was annoyed but in the way where he wanted Sarah to stop talking. 

“No man, honestly, I think you should’ve said yes.” Sarah’s voice overpowered the radio as Joel turned the truck back on. 

“Yes to what?” Joel questioned. 

“A lady in there was going crazy over him.” 

Your dads ears were a light red color and he was putting the sweater over his face again trying to hide away. He slipped into the passenger seat and layed down.

“She was not, Sarah. That’s not what happened.” Your dad muffled from below the cotton piece and Joel bit his smile away as he drove onto the street. 

“It’s exactly what happened. She asked if I was your kid and she asked if you were visiting. I've nevah seen ya beforeee, are ya new in town? I could show you arounddd if you’d like.” Sarah mocked her thick Texas accent with a laugh.

“That doesn’t mean she was askin’ if I’m single.”

“Say what you want but she was looking for a ring.”

“Daddddd.” “Woooww.” You and Joel teased him at the same time. 

“Okayyyy okay alright. Enoughh. Imma jus’ go back to sleep. Wake me up when we’re there.” 

“Yeah alright, don’t think about her too much though. We can’t have you broken hearted this weekend.” Sarah liked to tease anyone she could. It was part of her personality, much like her dads.

You and Joel let out a low laugh when your dad grunted from under the sweater. You looked at Joel through the rearview mirror and his eyes almost instantly connected with yours. There was no other way to describe how you felt besides peace. It was a complete infatuated, admiration, longing sense of peace that you felt in that moment where you all shared a laugh and you and Joel stole glances at eachother. Time actually stopped for a couple of seconds. He smiled at you and his eyes had a glimmer in them. It very well could’ve been the sun reflecting off of the dashboard but you had a feeling it wasn’t. 

The next couple of hours you fell in and out of sleep. The wind was cooler now that it was later in the day and you were getting closer to the coast. Sarah was scrolling on her phone and your dad had his eyes closed while the wind abated his nausea. You were awake but your eyes were closed and you leaned your head against the headrest behind you. 

“We’re almos’ there guys, hold on for a couple of minutes alrigh’?” Joel said. You looked out of the front window and saw glimpses of a body of water between the large trunks of trees. The leaves and branches were moving side to side and they made the atmosphere feel more welcoming. The air was fresher and a lot thinner than it was in the city. It smelled of coal and beef. Someones grilling nearby. It was 5 in the afternoon when Joel pulled into the driveway of the house and he finally turned off the truck. 

You opened the car door and stood on your feet, everyone else did the same. You all walked to the trunk of the car and grabbed the bags that belonged to you while your dad went ahead of everyone and unlocked the house. You walked up the front steps and looked around the porch before walking into the house. You hadn’t been here in months but it was like you were here a couple days ago. You remembered grilling outside, reading books by the pool, kicking the ball around with Sarah, and playing with one of the kids that lived a couple houses down the road. 

When you went inside, everyone silently made their way up the stairs and claimed a room to sleep in. You chose the room you always did, the one that was at the end of the hall and in the corner of the house. It had a huge window that overlooked the backyard and the lake for a mile. You felt exhausted and you knew everyone else did too since no one said a word when you arrived. It was Friday afternoon and you didn’t feel like staying in your room. You wanted to go out and do something because you were stuck in a car all day and you can’t remember the last time when you were this bored. You took a quick shower and changed into your navy panties with some clean shorts and a clean shirt before heading back downstairs. In the living room, the golden sun beamed through the glass doors and it made the house feel warm. Joel was sitting around the old wooden dining table next to a window and Sarah was laid on the couch watching a movie. Your dad was nowhere to be seen.

Must be in bed. Can’t blame him, that's a crazy hangover. 

You walked over to Joel and sat across from him. He had a glass of scotch in one hand and an old newspaper in the other.

“Didn’t know we still got newspapers here.” Your words broke the silence. You looked at the bold heading on the withered piece of paper and scrunched your nose at the words. Carnival Couple Arrested for Public Indecency. 

Oh I remember this, it was a couple of years ago.

Joel finished off the last ounce of scotch before closing the paper and putting it aside. 

“I think i’s an old one. Can’t remember the last time I sat down n read a paper.” He leaned back into the chair and dropped his hands on his lap below the table. His stare was deep. He was waiting for you to say something else. 

“I'm bored. Can we go out or something?”

“I was actually gettin’ hungry. Your dad said he was gonna knock out pretty early cause of the headache but we can go shoppin’ n get some things for the weekend if you want. You won’t be bored after that.”

“Yeah sounds good. Sarah, you wanna go with us?” You raised your voice a bit, enough for it to reach the living room but there was no response. You got up off of your chair and walked into the living room. Sarah was still in the position she had been in earlier but this time she had one arm over her stomach and the other was dangling off of the sofa. She was asleep. You made your way back to the dining table and stopped right in front of Joel. His chair was openly angled towards you this time and his legs were slightly spread open. His right elbow was resting on the table next to him and his hand took the form of a fist that he used to support his head.

Ohmy..god. Fuck he looks good.

You looked him up and down and focused on the space between his thighs. Your eyes made their way up to his stomach and then to his collar bones that were left exposed by the unbuttoned shirt at the top. His eyes looked a little drowsier than normal but he was still very awake. 

“Uhm- Sarah’s asleep.” You felt yourself blush. Towering over him and looking down to meet his gaze made you feel even more nervous than you ever have around him. It was a different power dynamic and your stomach flipped at the unfamiliar territory. His eyes widened at the news and a smile formed on his lips.

“..Really?” His voice was quiet. He slowly leaned forward and tilted his head up to look directly at you. You didn’t answer, you were frozen. You could tell he had something on his mind but you were more keen on figuring out where you both stood regarding your earlier conversation.

“Yeah..maybe you and I should just go buy some things. She looks tired, I wouldn’t wanna wake her.” You tried to ignore the need in his eyes but the ache between your legs made it difficult. You took a step back to give him some space and looked towards the living room. 

Joel let out a breath of defeat and stood up.

“Alright. Sounds good. Come on, we could walk there.”

“Walk?”

“Yeah, you know, like people used to do before cars n horses?”

He’s not funny. You told yourself to try and keep from laughing. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“I know how they got around. How are we meant to walk all the way back here with all the things we bought?” You smiled, you couldn’t help it. He was corny and cliché and predictable with his responses but you did think he was a little funny even though you’d never admit it. 

“Right, ok..well-”

“I’ll drive.” You took the keys from the counter and started for the front door. You made your way to his car and turned it on like he’s done thousands of times. Joel followed up behind you and took longer strides to try and keep up. 

“Please don’t crash.”

You both buckled up and you started to turn into the road.

“You wouldn’t even be able to tell if I scratched something. You need a new car.”

“I do not. This one works fine.” You kept going straight down the road until you saw a dock that indicated to you the store was close. 

“Mhm. Whatever. Look, there's the dock.” You nodded with your head and Joel turned around to look at it.

“What about it?”

“That’s how I know the stores close by.” Your tone was totally serious and there wasn’t a hint of humor in it. You kept your eyes on the pavement but you saw Joel turn his head to look at you.

“What? You don’t know the names of the streets?” He genuinely sounded shocked. Your eyebrows lifted in surprise and you laughed at how obscene the question was.

“Why would I know that?”

Joel stared at you blankly and squinted to try and tell if you were lying. You weren’t.

“Jesus Chris’, nevermind. Anyway, listen, I think we should talk about what I said.”

The tone of his voice fell into a more serious and genuine one and the air felt more thick and dangerous. You were nervous. You felt like you should’ve been more calm considering you knew what was coming but you were still nervous. You didn’t know what he would say. 

“Yeah I think we should.” You pulled into the parking lot of the store and found a spot that looked out to the lake. Joel unbuckled himself and turned his body towards you, you did the same. 

“I’m sorry I sprung that on you like that. I said I wanted to take some time to think about everythin’ n process it but I kept teasin’ you n I shouldn’ve done that. I did mean it when I said I enjoyed that night but I had to think about what your dad might say or- or Sarah you know, if they found out, n I jus’ got..I felt- it was intimidatin’. I’m sorry.”

You stared at him. You understood his fear. His eyes were soft and they were pleading you to understand where he was coming from.

“I get it.”

“You get it?”

“Yeah. I know it was a pretty impulsive decision and I understand that we’re risking things but, Joel I don’t- I mean, I’m not gonna go screaming that we fucked. I can keep a secret, and if we’re careful about..doing what we do then..I think we’ll be ok.”

“Yeah..” he let out a long sigh “..yeah I think you’re right.” His face relaxed and his chest dropped with the exhale of his breath.  

“Yeah. And I’ve thought about it too you know..what my dad might say or Sarah if they find out..” You looked down to your lap. You played with your fingers and toyed with the folds of your shorts. You felt good admitting to him that you also had these thoughts but you didn’t ever think about them too much, you didn’t want to think that them finding out was ever a possibility. Truthfully you had no idea what they might say if they ever found out, but you didn’t tell Joel this. “..but they won’t. It’s ok. We’ll just..be selective..about it.”

Joel looked down and let out a small laugh at your word choice. He rubbed a hand over his face and smiled at the floor. You felt more relieved now that you had cleared the air and were on common ground. 

“Well, but I don’ wanna be selective about it.” Your eyes met his and he had that same depth in his eyes from before. There was a hunger and primal need to them that instantly made you weak. Your breathing picked up and you could feel your heart beat out of your body. Joel scooted closer to the edge of his seat and reached his arm around to cup your cheek. Your face melted into his hand and your body instantly responded to his touch. You felt hot. The air became thicker than it was and you were pretty sure you were soaked through your underwear. Joels thumb brushed the bottom of your lips before he parted them with his finger. His thumb glided along the top of your teeth and your mouth was opened before he even said anything. 

Joels smirk made your heart shiver and you tilted your head down before inching forward to take his thumb in your mouth. You wrapped your lips around the base of his finger and sucked it in a little while he slowly pulled it out of you. He watched you with an intense need and mumbled something under his breath. You didn’t take your eyes off of his. Your tongue swirled around the tip of his finger until he fully took it out of your mouth and rubbed small circles on your bottom lip. You were wet, you knew you were and your ache grew every second.

“I haven’t fucked you yet.” His eyes moved down to your lips but you kept staring at him. You were quiet. You blinked and waited for him to continue. “You said that you weren’t gonna go screaming that we fucked..but we haven’t.” 

You rolled your eyes at his wit and smiled. You moved backwards and rested your back on the door while you took off your sandals and put your legs on his lap. You didn’t say anything yet, you just took him in. He looked down to your thighs and you looked down to his chest. The little exposed area from his shirt made your pussy pulse. You thought about bracing yourself on him as you rode his cock up and down, making him groan. You could tell he was thinking about something also, you could feel the rise under his jeans. You looked down to the zipper of his pants and now you felt needy. You wanted to suck his dick and have his hands pull on your hair. He didn’t let you do it last time but maybe now it would be different. You rubbed your foot over the zipper of his jeans and you felt him look up at you. Your eyes stayed on the growing bulge and you bit down on your lip. 

“You can fuck me right now if you want.” Your voice was innocent and seductive. Your head was tilted down and you looked at him through your lashes. 

“You want me to fuck you in this parking lot?” He questioned you but you could tell by the way that he said it that he was thinking about it. He liked the idea.

“Mhm..” you nodded slowly. Joel licked his teeth and sucked in a sharp breath when you applied some more pressure. “I want people to see how wet you make me.”

Joel looked up at you. Now he saw the want in your eyes. He saw how desperately you were looking at him and he knew how much you wanted to have him inside of you. He had a dangerous smirk on his face and if he didn’t enjoy making you wait, he would fuck you with all the windows down for anyone to hear your screams. Joel grabbed your ankles and you stopped moving them. He opened your feet and set them apart on the center console of the truck. His touch was electrifying and you stared at him from between your legs.

“Take your shorts off” Your eyes didn’t leave his as you stripped down into your underwear. You kicked off your shorts and tossed them below the glovebox. Joel stared at the wet spot on your underwear and he licked his lips at the sight. 

“You’re already wet for me?” He teased you. He liked teasing you. “Fuck baby..” His voice was barely above a whisper and he leaned back on his door, much farther than you wanted him. “..touch yourself for me.” He commanded you in a way that wasn’t rough but somehow it came out more controlling than he meant it. 

You put your fingers above the wet spot on your underwear and applied pressure before you started to rub yourself slowly.

“Oh- mmm Joel it- it feels good.” You let out slow breathes as low moans escaped your throat. 

“Yeah princess? You like touching yourself?” Joels breath picked up a little bit but he didn’t move. His attention was split between watching your fingers make circles and the expressions on your face. “Fuck- go a little faster baby.”

You rubbed faster and felt a little coil in your lower stomach. Your head pushed against the window and your chest rose with the feeling of your orgasm began to build.

“My dirty girl, fuck baby. You want people to see you finger yourself?”

Your head nodded against the glass. His words made you feel warmer and you felt your pussy get wetter at the sensations. Your breathing was starting to pick up and your moans came out a little louder. You moved your underwear aside and your fingers looked for the entrance between your slit.

“Uh uh. Not yet. Keep rubbing yourself.” His hands moved to his zipper but he didn’t do anything, he just kept them there. You lifted your head off of the glass to look at him and you stopped touching yourself to make sure you heard him right.

“What?”

He smirked. Joel shifted in his seat and he let out a quiet groan. The denim rubbed against his straining cock and you looked down to the fully grown bulge begging to be let out. 

Oh. OH. He likes this.

“Above your underwear baby. Keep rubbing yourself.” Your pussy throbbed faster when it all clicked.

“Do you want me to.. ask you permission.. to finger myself?” His eyes glimmered. 

He does. 

Joel didn’t say anything but the way his pupils dilated gave him away.

“Just imagine they’re my fingers, ok princess? Just ‘till I say so.”

Your pussy got wetter and you did what he said. You wanted him to be pleased with you. You wanted him to know that you would do whatever he said just to show him how well you could take orders. Your fingers slipped out from your slit and they went back to the top of your soaked panties. You rubbed yourself harder and faster, trying to build your orgasm back up. He stared at you for a couple minutes, directing your speed and pressing down above his jeans. Your stomach tightened with every passing second and your breaths came out as whimpers. You were close.

“Joel pl- please, please let me, fu-ohmyg- fuck please let me finger myself. Please..” Your breathing was heavy and you could barely form proper sentences, you needed to feel something inside of you. You were begging and you were desperate. You felt so empty and you had a feeling he wasn’t going to fuck you so your fingers had to be the next best thing. 

“Mhm. Just one finger baby.”

You were frantic with need. Your hand quickly reached down to the same place as before and easily slipped inside. 

“Oh- Fuck..Joel I- it feels so good.” You moved your finger in and out of yourself, slowly at first but then you quickly increased the pace. The sounds of your wetness filled the air and you looked into Joels eyes, trying to get some type of approval.

“Your pussy looks so perfect baby. Keep fucking yourself, just like that.”

You felt a fire burn in your stomach and your muscles were searching for that push to release. Your eyes stayed on Joel. He studied the way you curled your finger up into yourself and how you rubbed your clit with the palm of your hand. For a second, his eyes left your body and they started to track something else. They looked behind you and you saw him grow a mischievous smirk below his mustache. 

“There’s a man.. walking to his car..” Joel spoke softly, like the man could hear him. You smiled. You never thought about it before but the chance that you could get caught tuned you on. Seeing how much Joel enjoyed it also made you that much closer to cumming on your finger. “..You could get caught right now baby. How does that make you feel?”

Joel looked at you for a response.

“So fucking- good Joel, it makes me feel so good.” You couldn’t focus on anything but your finger.

“Yeah? Being a dirty little slut who wants to get caught fucking herself? Shit baby you’re-”

“Joel please can I- can I use another finger. Please.”

Joel looked down to your hand and he leaned forward. He wrapped a hand around one of your ankles and another hand around your wrist. 

“Stop.” His word was slow. He took his time saying it and he slowed your hand with his grip. You pulled your finger out of yourself and slowly rubbed your slit up and down. You whimpered at the feeling of emptiness again and your stomach dropped at the loss of tension.

You stared at Joel, waiting for him to say something or at least look at you. His hand slightly lessened the grip on your wrist and he brought your hand up to your mouth. 

“Taste yourself baby. Tell me how you taste.” You saw the excitement in Joels eyes. He looked like a little kid who’d just seen a puppy. His smile was devilish and his eyes were dark. You opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out to fully take your finger in. You moaned at the taste and your pussy throbbed with the feeling of his stare. 

“Do you like it?”

 You smiled. Who would’ve thought Joel Miller was this fucking dirty. You nodded as a response and gave him a seductive whine. Joel looked behind you and his eyes stayed on the man sitting in the drivers seat on his phone. 

“Tell me what you taste like, baby.” Joel let go of your hand and he brought his thumb over your clit and rubbed. Your mouth parted at the pressure and a moan escaped your lips. 

“Fuck- Joel- Go faster.” You used up every last breath of air to get your words out.

“Tell me what you taste like.” 

“I uhm- sweet.” Your breaths were closer to pants.

“And what else..” His voice was dark and excited.

“And- go- Joel please go faster.” 

“Keep talkin’ princess. Keep talkin’ n I’ll go faster.”

Joel moved his fingers down your aching pussy and toyed with your entrance. Your hips rocked forward to try and get some relief but you couldn’t.

“Keep movin’ the car and that man’s gonna see you.”

“I don’t care. I- fu- Joel. I don’t care please just..” you were breathless.

“What baby. What, tell me what you need”

You arched your back and let out a small whimper. You couldn’t take it anymore. Your greed blinded you and the only thing you could think about was getting his fingers in you. You rocked your hips more into his hand and the car slowly moved from side to side. You couldn’t take the teasing anymore. 

“Shit- you want it that bad princess? You want that man to come over here and see what a mess you are..how you're begging me to finger you where anyone can see you?” Joels voice was the only thing that disrupted your thoughts. “God you’re fucking soaked for me.”

“Joel please. I need your fingers- god, my pussy needs your fingers in me. Please make me cum I- I need you to make me cum.”

Joel slipped two fingers inside your pussy and you throbbed around him. Your hips recreated circles on his leather seat and your moans turned into cries of bliss. 

“You’re so fucking sexy when you beg for me baby. I like to feel how hot..” His fingers glided in and out of you “.. wet..” he moved them faster “..and throbbing you get for me princess.”

“Joel- I’m.. so close. Don’t stop..” Your hips rolled faster and the truck quietly creaked under you. Joel groaned under his breath and he lowered his head above your clit. He pouted his lips above you and he let a web of saliva drip onto your already soaked pussy. His thumb rubbed his spit all over your clit and it dripped down into your entrance. Joel took his fingers out of you and grabbed some of his saliva with his fingers then inserted them back into you. You watched him concentrate on your pussy and the tightness in your pelvis became unbearable. You let out a moan and leaned your head back into the window.  

 “Fuck- I don’t care if- ohmygod- if anyone sees Joel. I- I don’t care if they hear me or- holy shit.. or if they catch us just..please. Please let me cum Joel I can’t do it anymore. Please”

You were barely able to think straight. You were desperate to find your release and your pussy tightened around Joels fingers. He kept his face above your pussy and you felt his warm breath tickle your clit. He lightly licked between your folds and soaked up all the sweetness he could find. 

“Fuck baby..that feel good? You wanna cum for me? On my fingers in the parking lot princess?”

You bit your lip. You nodded your head again in ecstacy and suppressed your cries as best as you could. Your heart was heavy in your chest and your legs were trembling from the tension.

“Say it.” Joel demanded from between your legs. His fingers curled higher inside of you and they coerced you into begging for your release. His tongue stroked your clit and it took everything in you to get your last words out. 

“Pl- Please Joel let me- ohh fuck.. Please let me cum.” One of your hands braced itself on the roof of the truck and the other weaved its way between Joels hair. You thrusted your hips up into his mouth and his fingers pulled in and out of you.

“You did good for me. You did so fucking good for me my.. slutty little princess. Fuck you look- so fucking pretty. Cum on my fingers baby. Let me feel you cum on them.” 

His permission did more than enough for you. Your hand pushed hard against the ceiling and your pussy tightened around his fingers. Your head went limp and chest was rising heavily. 

“Fuck fuck Joel- fuck ohmygod.”

His fingers slowed down and stayed in your pussy while you rode out your high.

“God baby you’re gorgeous.”

Your hand fell from the ceiling and you gasped for any air that you could. Your ears were ringing and your leg wrapped around his back trying to bring him as close to you as you could. Joel took his fingers out of you and gently placed a kiss where they used to be. His tongue licked between your folds and he took any mess your pussy let out. He was starving and you could tell he wanted more. While he cleaned you up with his tongue you found your voice and told him what you wanted.

“Joel please let me suck your dick.” There was a different type of desperation in your voice and you wanted to see him come undone. You wanted to hear him beg the way you did and you wanted him to lose all control that he had. 

His eyes met yours from between your thighs and he smiled between his act. He looked back down to your pussy and finished what he was doing. Joel sat back up and cleaned himself before he spoke.

“Get dressed baby, we gotta go.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

“Joel..” He looked at you. “..please.” You leaned forward and inched closer to him. You planted a kiss in the corner of his lips and moved to the side of his face. You kissed the side of his cheek and your body heat made Joel expose his neck more to you. You hovered your lips over his ear and whispered. 

“I wanna feel your cock in me. Please.”

You heard Joel grumble below his breath and his forehead rested on your shoulder for a second before he whispered in your ear.

“Take your panties off and put your shorts on.”

You were confused. You didn’t fully understand but again, you did whatever he asked you to. You wanted him to know you did what you were told and you were hoping this somehow meant you would finally be able to at least get a glimpse of his dick. You leaned back into your seat and took your panties off. The cotton that padded your pussy was darker and wet with your essence and you handed them to him by the string. He took them from your hands and rolled them up into a little ball. Joel pocketed your underwear in his back pocket and he watched you get dressed. You both got out of the car and met behind the trunk as you began to walk towards the store.  

“That was my favorite pair.” Your arm brushed alongside his and you looked up to see him smiling.

“They’re my favorite pair too.” 

Your lower stomach flipped at the comment and you couldn’t help but blush under the sunset. 

“Im serious Joel..” you lowered your voice “..when can I suck your cock.” You looked up at him with innocent eyes, like you weren’t walking around with your panties in his pocket, like he didn’t just finger your pussy with people around. Your look was totally pure and there was a filthy undertone that only Joel would be able to recognize. 

“Soon baby. Don’t worry.” 

Joel fought the urge to wrap his arm around you and instead, he rested it on your lower back. You both walked into the store and headed for two completely different directions. He went to the dairy section for eggs, milk, and yogurt. You went to the bread section for your dads favorite cereal and bagels for you and Sarah. 

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

TSITP 2x07 - “Love Affaire” : Belly x Jeremiah

"- You want some company? I'm sorry about what happened with Laurel. (Jeremiah) - Everything's a mess. I knew that you and Conrad had talked, in the fall, about me. But I had no idea that he came to you begging for your blessing. (Belly) - Can you not, actually? (Jeremiah) - I'm sorry. I keep trying to make everything right, and I just keep fucking it up. (Belly) - It's not just about you, Belly. Conrad and I are mad at each other about all kinds of stuff. Jeremiah) - I mean, I'm sure that Conrad was just only trying to, you know.... (Belly) - Okay, don't... Don't defend him to me, just this once, please. Jeremiah) - I'm not defending him. Whatever you think you saw last night, you're wrong. There is nothing left between me and Conrad. (Belly) - There will always be something between you and Conrad. (Jeremiah) - Maybe my mom was right. Maybe it's time we all went home." (Belly)

"- So, what do you want to do? (Belly) - I can show you around Finch. It's like 15 minutes away from here. Didn't your guidance counselor say it was a possibility for you? (Jeremiah) - Yeah, yeah, I can't believe you remembered. Wow. (Belly) - All right, so there are my... these are the dorms. (Jeremiah) - I can totally do it. All right, you ready? Come on, there's one thing I really want to see. (Belly) - Picturing one with your name on it? (Jeremiah) - Maybe. Come on. (Belly) - Belly, I don't know if we're supposed to... (Jeremiah) - Oh, come on, live a little. (Belly) - Yeah, you got it. (Jeremiah) - Look at all those championships. (Belly) - You really miss playing, don't you? (Jeremiah) - Well, kind of. (Belly) - Belly? (Jeremiah) - I really do. I'm never gonna be this super genius like Steven. But I just feel like volleyball was something I was really good at. (Belly) - You are really good at. And if you really wanted to, you could play here. (Jeremiah) - You know what? I'm gonna ask my coach if there's any way that I can get back on the team when I get home. Throw myself at her mercy. (Belly) - Well, you're pretty hard to resist. And selfishly, I'd like to see you play here, too. (Jeremiah) - Honestly, I could see myself here. Two of us running around campus. You coming to all my games. Late-night study sessions. Two a.m. pizza. (Belly) - Right. We should head back. (Jeremiah) - Yeah. Okay." (Belly)

"- Are you ever gonna give me a second chance? (Belly) - Belly, if I fall for you again... I don't think I can take it if you change your mind like last time. (Jeremiah) - I wouldn't do that. It's different now. (Belly) - How? (Jeremiah) - You and I, I mean... We're not the same people we were. We grew up. I spent so much of my life dreaming about... what it would be like to be with Conrad. But... dreams aren't real, and... And now I want... I want something real. I want... I want you. (Belly) - Belly. (Jeremiah) - Do you still... (Belly) - Yes. Yes, I still." (Jeremiah) Intense Make up session.

[thelikesoffinn]

Hey hiya hi Hi, I stumbled across your Blog because of your Billy post and then I saw that you had this rly detailed and indepth dissection of that other character and I have no cleu who that is but I've still read the whole thing and it was awesome and now I wanted to ask you if you could make something like that about Billy maybe? You seem to like Billy and that would be so great 👀😫🥰

Well hello there, love!

Honestly, I would love to. Because you're absolutely right, I do like Billy a lot and I'm a slut for tragic characters and I really enjoy writing these analyses.

Thing is, however: I don't have much to work with, when it comes to Billy.

With Astarion - the chap from my obnoxiously long post - you get a lot of input, both actively and passively. There's a ton of conversations to be had with a ton of different options to pick, mostly each leading to its own answer and reactions.

But that's not it. You get to see where he grew up, you get a lot of backstory and you get to see his very passive reactions. You know, Astarion is from Baldur's Gate 3, a crpg where you make the choices. But you get to see his reaction to your choices, get to see what he approves and disapproves which tells you a fuck ton about his character and grants me a good basis to build my observations on.

With Billy however? Not so much. If I had to guess, I'd say the fella has maybe 50 minutes of screening spread out over four seasons, 15 of which he is actually himself. The other 35 minutes are either spent under the influence of the mind flayer or impersonated by vecna. So we don't get to see the true Billy all too much, so most of the things I'd write would probably be at least half bases on headcanons, which would probably still be fine but I personally like to stick to the things I can actually provide evidence for if you know what I mean. (At this point, it might as well be lasting uni trauma, haha.)

On top of that, there's another thing that makes Astarion somewhat of a special case and that is, quite plainly, how well he is written. You can tell that there was a lot of attention to detail and that the authors put both research and love into his character. (In my personal opinion, his writing even far excels that of other origin characters in the game, which is pure art because they're all amazingly written.)

Combine that with Neil Newbon's - Astarions VA - performance and you have a proverbial feast for people like me.

We don't get that with Billy. A lot of Billy - both his charme and his tragedy - rides on Dacre Montgomery's shoulders. His performance and his very obvious love for the character make up a lot of the Billy we've seen but, in the end, I don't think he is that well written as a character. There were a lot of moments where I felt they wasted his potential by letting him fall flat because he was nothing but this throwaway character, throwaway "villain" they build.

(Which matches up with what Dacre Montgomery said, how he asked them to give him a story because that boy wouldn't be evil for no reason, which just once again proves that all Billy we got to see was entirely carried by Dacre Montgomery and Dacre Montgomery alone.)

This a problem the stranger writers all seem to have, somehow. Characters they don't deem that important can be rendered a bit flat, which makes them pretty two dimensional between the otherwise colourful cast of stranger things and, as someone who holds side characters and minor characters in extremely high regard, this annoys me to no end. A story without side characters is lifeless and empty, so the least they deserve is to be paid attention to. But they don't, which is why I personally find it extremely easy to guess which character is going to stay and which one isn't.

So far, the only character that surprised me was Steve. I was 100% convinced he'd be gone by the end of season 1, because season 1 Steve also felt like a caricature of himself. "Main good girl's popular boyfriend that gets knocked down a peg by the "looser" character and falls from grace". So when he came back around in season 2 - and with that much added charme - I was like damn? Pretty boy is still around! And he has a proper personality this time!

Anyway, sorry love this turned a bit ranty towards the end there - to make it short: I would really truly love to write an analysis on Billy Hargrove, but I don't think I actually can do so properly, I'm sorry! 😭