#i spent 6 years totally alone

[insipid-drivel]

What Happened

I'm in a very bad place psychologically and emotionally, and I can't just be vague or not talk about it anywhere to anyone anymore:

One of the people I thought was on the route toward becoming like an older sibling to me invited me to a discord group.

Everything seemed wonderful for the first couple of weeks. I hadn't made any friends or been in touch with more than one or two people in over 6 years, I'm mentally ill, queer, trans, and have a lot of social strikes against me as a result, so I was thankful to be in a small server of other queer and neurodivergent people.

We shared ideas of stress-managing and fun things to do, from cup stacking to cat's cradling. There were memes. I could talk about myself and feel safe.

My older sister was extremely cruel and abusive toward me from the time I was a baby, as well as my biological father. She resented me for taking our mother's attention away from her and never got over it. She often punished me in secret for infractions like spending too long with our mom's attention, or being too liked by her school friends and taking attention away from her.

As a result, I developed a pretty intense phobia of being the center of attention. I always feel like someone is going to come out of a crowd or the shadows and try to hurt me if I talk about myself too long, or attract positive attention from more than one person that everyone else isn't already ignoring.

I started to relax. The people I was getting to know were really, really nice to me. They were interested in what I had to say, and didn't punish me for talking too much. My ideas were received with welcome. My jokes got laughs. I started to feel like a person for the first time in my life.

Then, one day, while sharing information I'd been reading about Swedish royal history in the 1300s, which had not been validated yet and I was simply sharing due to a tenuous genetic link I happen to have and that my mom has spent a lot of her adult life researching.

I was paraphrasing in general chat to my new friends. I wasn't checking citations or anything, and the stories we were finding were still not validated, but they were interesting and added more intrigue to my family's old backstory.

Out of nowhere, a member of this server who had never introduced himself to me or spoken to me personally began attacking me. He demanded to know sources. He demanded to know how I could validate what I was being heard read to me, as if he were interrogating me for suspicion of heresy or something.

I cried. I backpedaled and apologized to him profusely while ceding the subject to him. I promised I'd never talk about it again and that I was so, so sorry for making him mad (my sister was right. my sister was right. i'm bad. i can't be safe anywhere. i'm a monster. she was right. oh god she was right. i'm a fucking monster). I showed my belly and pathetically begged him to take his Champion Argument Starter trophy and leave me alone.

He gave me a weak "Sorry," for being so cruel to me, but the damage was done.

I sat in silence in the server for weeks. Nothing was done. 2 of the 3 posted server rules were to Be Polite and Don't Be An Asshole. I hoped I would hear from a moderator that he'd been spoken to.

I wound up leaving, alone. The friends that I did like stayed behind, and aren't my friends anymore, because they chose to stay in a server with the guy that attacked me, triggered me, and sent me spiraling and sobbing and fighting blind fury at the same time.

I don't feel safe with them anymore.

A couple of members have come forward with gentle words, but I haven't had the stomach for any of them. I don't want to be attacked again. I don't want to be stupid enough to be lured into something like that again. I'm so, so painfully lonely and desperate for friends, but not that.

Please not that.

Where were you? Why didn't you help me? Why did you let that happen to me? Why didn't you stop it?

I thought we were friends.

Someone please be kind to me and mean it.

Please?

[beardysuits]

Piece of Jake

Logan has hated his body his entire life. Obese, gay, and a shut in have been a terrible combination for him. He decides becoming his sexy roommate Jake may be just what he needs to build up his confidence.

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I’ve had a crush on Jake for… well forever I guess. I guess that’s one of the perks of being a part of the same class every year since kindergarten; you get to see the cute boys become cute men. Then there was the downside of that, that anybody who bullied you from kindergarten will decide to do it until you graduate. They’ll do it for anything too; being gay, being fat, your race, your wealth. I was lucky enough to get 3 out of the 4 for about 12 years now. However, I’m ready for that to change.

See I was blessed with a fantastic combination of having a slow metabolism, and an anxiety which I decided to soothe with eating. The result has left me to be a 19 year old with a BMI of 42. And yeah, BMI is bullshit if you’re stacked with muscle, but I had the rolls and pudge to prove there was some truth to it. Combine this with the fact that I was more queer than a midnight premier of Rocky Horror, and I came out to be not the most popular guy in school. I thought that would all change once I went to college, but freshman year was hell. I essentially spent the entire time in my dorm room, locked up in the dark and playing video games. But, I guess it wasn’t all that bad.

See, back to Jake. Jake kept his status quo of being one of the top dogs from the ages of 5 to 18. Baseball star, debate captain, and voted “most likely to succeed” by our peers. Top all of that off that he was on of the few people who actually wasn’t a total ass to me, and you can see why I was head over heels for him. He was straight of course, and even if there was a touch of bisexuality in him, he would never be interested in me. Now color me surprised when I found out that not only were we going to the same college, but we got randomly assigned to be roommates in the dorms! I was astounded, it was like there really was an astral force looking out for me. 

So for almost the entirety of our freshman year, we chit chatted here and there, but Jake was almost never home. Instead, he was working to get himself into one of the fraternities and move into the house. While I was sad to not have as much time to admire Jake as I would like, that did give me the opportunity to go through his stuff. Mostly his closet. Jake wore the usual clothes you’d expect, hoodies, jerseys, wrangler jeans and the like. However, being that he was on the baseball team at the college, I found his stash of jockstraps he wore for practice. And good god, thank goodness laundry day was only once a week. The other 6 days I had a full time supply of used jocks to sniff and fantasize with. 

I even tried to put one of them on in a hormone-fueled rage, but my thighs were probably the same mass as his entire body, and I couldn’t get the damn thing on. The longer I admired Jake and saw him for who he was, the more my love for him grew. With that, so did my jealousy. Jake was everything I wanted. He was fit, cool, and could get any guy he wanted if he even batted an eye at them. My time alone did prove to give me an opportunity to do some research however. 

See, I’ve tried for a long, long, long time to get fit on my own. Watching my diet, exercise, starving myself. But, nothing would work. That’s when I started to look for more, creative solutions. I came across a blog hidden deep on the web which talked about taking another person’s form. Most of these seemed bogus, but I had to try. I found one eventually from a user, “Magic_Mann_720” who shared a potion, once which he claimed could turn anybody into a bodysuit. I was about to just toss it aside, but after looking at my desk and seeing the empty bag of McDonald’s staring back at me, I said fuck it. 

In all honesty, brewing a magic potion was easier than I assumed it would be, and after just a few short weeks of waiting for unusual supplies to arrive in the mail, I had a vial of the stuff at my whim. Now, who could I possibly give this to? No, not Jake. But also, maybe? Would that make me the worst person imaginable if I slipped this to him? He was one of the few good people I had come across, I couldn’t betray him like that. However, I saw one glimpse of his jock hanging from his hamper, and doubts crossed my mind. It was staring back at me, taunting me with how tight it fucking was. I had to wear it, and I only knew of one body it would perfectly fit. 

He was like clockwork, especially early in the morning when he made his preworkout and went off to the gym at 6 in the morning. I set my alarm for 5:50, just early enough to slip the potion into his drink before he woke up and set off. It was of course impossible to wake up so early in the morning, but somehow I managed to silence my alarm without waking Jake. 

I fumbled around in the dark and found his shake he made the night before. I had slept with the vial under my pillow, though I could barely sleep from the anticipation of my task today. Being careful to not wake him, I unscrewed the lid, dumped the contents of the vial into the jar, and shook it up. I had just laid back in my bed when his alarm woke him up. I kept my eyes closed, hoping to trick him into thinking I was asleep. I heard him stumble around the room, getting his bearings, getting dressed. I couldn’t resist popping one eye open to see his lithe frame as he found a tank and basketball shorts. 

He was already wearing boxers, but if my plan went accordingly, he never would wear such loose fitting underwear again. I heard him grab his shake, and my heart began to race. The pop of the lid went off, and I strained my ears to listen to him drain the contents quickly and quietly. The lid closed and just as I heard the doorknob turn, there was the sound of heavy stomps. I opened my eyes a bit wider to see Jake stumbling around, trying to get his bearings. 

“Hey… Logan?” Jake said weakly. I pretended to wake up and rose from bed, seeing him lean against his desk. 

“Jake? You okay?” I asked him. He turned his head to me, panting. 

“I d-don’t feel good man,” he said between breaths. “Get.. get help. Help.. me..” He slumped to the ground, and while I anticipated a loud thud as his jock body slammed to the ground, it was a soft thump, like that of clothes tossed to the ground. For a moment, I hesitated to creep any closer, afraid of what I would find. I mustered up the courage to turn on the bedside lamp and found a near horrifying site by the door. 

There on the ground was Jake, but he was flat as a pancake. He arms and legs stretched out, head deflated, and the clothes he was wearing were atop of him in a pile. I tiptoed to the body, already feeling regret in what I had done. Fuck why did I do this to him? Was I really so driven by my own lust I essentially just killed a good guy? 

My own footsteps were much heavier than Jakes, making the floorboards creek. I kicked at the body, the skin feeling as alive as ever, but made no movement of its own. I got on my knees, and with the tips of my fingers, grabbed Jake’s hair and pulled his head up. I was met with Jake’s face, his eyes now hollow sockets and mouth agape. I dropped the skin and scuttled back in fear. Fuck fuck fuck, it’s so god damn creepy! I took a few deep breaths and crawled on my hands and knees to the body once more. 

I tried to be more confident this time, grabbing him by his shoulders, and pulling him up as I struggled to stand. Jake was of similar height to me, so once I was fulling standing, I leaned the face to my mine, the tips of his toes still slumped on the floor. You know, it’s less creepy now. Jake was always a cutie, and even as a husk of himself he was irresistible. It was too late now, and while I felt bad about what I had done, I did it with a purpose. The issue now was, how the hell did I fit inside? Speaking of, would I fit at all?

I pulled at his cheek and found it to be rather elastic. My curiosity piqued, and I pulled at the corners of his mouth, which stretched at least a foot wide when I put some effort in. That gave me an idea. I quickly took off my shirt and briefs, catching my reflection in the standing mirror as I did so. God damn it, I was so fucking fat. My stomach hung out in front of me, almost covering my pathetic cock. Ass was as wide as trailer, neck rolls which made it seem like my head sat straight on my shoulders. Tits bigger than most girls I went to school with. This was my last chance to do something about it. 

I sat on my bed, laying Jake down in front of me like a pair of pants. Stepping one foot into Jake’s mouth, I stretched it further and further until my thick calves were encompassed by his lips. Grabbing at his chest, I pulled him further up my leg, already running out of breath as I did so. This was a workout on its own. I remember watching videos of guys slipping into wetsuits when I was a teenager, it was a slight fetish of mine. I loved seeing the neoprene cling to their slim figures. Those guys would go inch by inch yanking the suit further up them, so I went ahead and mirrored the practice. 

I found doing so actually made the process easier. Soon enough, my foot aligned with Jake’s. I shimmied his calves to match mine, but it was so incredibly tight. It was like my leg was vacuum sealed inside of him, crushing the fat around my leg down to match his. I began to pant, scared I was cutting off all circulation. I was so scared to look down and see something horrific, but shot a glance and was amazed by what I saw. There, my right leg was pristine. It was a mirror image of Jake’s which I had stared at so often when he wore shorts. I wiggled my toes, and Jake’s did the same motion. 

Kicking my leg around, the pain began to subside, and I could see up to my knee, it was like I had worked out my entire life. I could feel the beaming smile creep across my face as I stretched Jake’s mouth open wide again to shove my other foot inside. Now that I had some practice, my left leg was far easier to work with and soon enough, I had two sets of legs which were built from years of baseball practices and running. My thighs proved to be another issue entirely, practically twice the twice of my calves. 

I stood up from the bed, almost falling over from my balance being so off. Grabbing at Jake’s stomach, I jumped up and down a few times, his skin stretching and sliding over me with his lurch. My I stuck my hand down the inside of Jake’s mouth, the feeling of my now erect cock sliding against the inside of Jake. Although I wasn’t generously endowed, it still hurt to have it crushed inside of him. I found Jake’s cock, and while deflated, certainly overshadowed mine in length and girth. With one hand on the outside, and the other inside, I guided mine into his like a sheath. 

It was the most orgasmic feeling I had ever experienced. Jake’s cock went from looking like a flattened worm, to coming to full erection. He was at least seven inches long, and despite mine being half the size, somehow felt like it was filled entirely. It was beet red from anticipation, and while I wanted to cum right here and now, I had to finish what I started. I turned to the mirror once more, and was shocked by what I saw. From the waist up, I was still fat fuck Logan, but from the lower half, I was built like a god damn star. My new cock swung side to side, stiff as a board, and my ass, while squeezed in like a sausage, now was as perky as if I squatted 300 lbs. I turned and slapped Jake’s ass, watching as the taut skin slapped me back. All hints of cellulite gone. 

Finally was the part I was most afraid of, my stomach. It hung over the edge of Jake’s body, the flap of my stomach going over Jake’s lips. I sucked it in, which did practically nothing. Taking one of my arms, I pushed it as far in as I could, and used my other hand to pull the lips of Jake’s mouth up. I groaned in pain, feeling like a rubber band was squishing me in and threatening to cut me in half. Somehow though, his head moved up and moved. It was by inches and incredibly painful. Once I reached my belly button, I found a system to make it easier. Moving him up further and further, I finally reached my chest before I had to fall onto the bed. 

I was breathing heavier than ever, and drenched in sweat from what was left of my original body. I felt Jake’s, and he was as dry as ever, as he would never be worn out from such a task. I counted down from ten and hoisted myself up, catching my sight in the mirror. My moobs hung over Jake’s torso, but it was like I was wearing a skin corset. I rubbed my had over my new stomach, feeling how flat it was. In fact, I would even see the beginnings of a six pack bulging out. It was surreal, I don’t think I’ve been this thing since… ever. I took a deep breath and worked to shove each of my tits down Jake’s mouth. 

Each of them was a chore on their own, but eventually, all that was left were my arms and head. I don’t know how that would work, but if I made it this far, it was certainly possible. It would be tough as I would lose an arm at a time trying to slide them in. Taking my right one first, I wriggled my fingers inside, pushing them down Jake’s like a skin tight glove. With each inch my fingers slid in, it was easier and easier as I gained Jake’s strength. Eventually, the fingers found their way into his. I pulled at his bicep, as stretchy as the rest of him, and snapped it into place, enclosing my arm. 

I rushed to do the same with my left and with my newfound strength, found this section to be the easiest. I was almost done. Jake’s lips were around my neck, and I had to use his fingers to make sure he didn’t choke me. I glanced at the mirror, and found Jake with my head. I turned my body around, admiring his form. I had taken several sneaky glances at him as he changed, but to have full autonomy, to see his tattoo on his thigh, the way his veins popped in his hands, the curvature of his muscles, it was like I was being treated to a feast. 

“Goodbye Logan,” I told myself. I don’t know if I would come back from this. Or, if I would even want to. I took a deep breath and shimmied his head up my own. The same tight sensation took over my entire headspace and it was like a migraine hit me. Using my hands, I smushed my face around, placing my nose into his, eyes, lips. I fluttered my eyelids and had to refocus my vision. Going to the mirror was a picture perfect reflection of Jake. 

“Holy shit,” I said. Oh fuck, that was still my voice. I guess that wouldn’t have changed. I don’t know how I could pull off Jake’s voice, but I would have to practice it. I looked at the corner of my mouth, seeing my original lips peak through Jake’s. I took a finger, stretching and pulling it into place.

There, I was Jake. Fuck I was Jake! I laughed and rubbed my arms across my body, watching as Jake did it in the mirror. 

I spent a good ten minutes trying different poses and watching as Jake bent to my will. Sniffing his pits, making funny faces, bending over and showing off my new hole to myself. That last one sent me over the edge and I knew I had to blow off the steam which had built up. I sat on the bed and hoisted my legs up, cradling the back of my knees in my hands. I could never have even thought about attempting that in my old body, but as Jake, I felt so lithe. My smile was beaming in between my legs as I puckered my hole. I had to see what this looked like. I wanted to see Jake be pathetic now. I twisted my face to match that of so many porn actors I had watched alone in this room. 

“Ohhhh… oh fuck me daddy,” I said, begging, watching Jake’s eyes as they wished desperately for a fat cock to fill him up. I split into my hand and began to pump my new cock, already slick and slimy from precum. I stuck a finger in my mouth and wet it before sliding it over my hole and slicking it up. I had plenty of experience playing with my old hole, but I always struggled to get my arm in a position to really get deep in. Jake didn’t have that problem though. I started to finger fuck myself, watching as Jake became his own bitch. 

“Oh fuck daddy, fuck me. Fuck me!” I yelled, the point of climax racing through my cock before I could even react. Laces of cum shot out and started to drench my body, reaching even to my face and getting into my hair. I pulled my finger out of my hole, let go of my cock, and felt it rest against my thigh. There in the reflection was Jake, covered in his own cum and looking like a bitch. 

I giggled, knowing I should feel far more guilty about what I had done, but too high on my own bliss to care. After bathing in my glory, I decided to clean Jake up and explore his body some more. I grabbed one of his towels and left the room, still naked. Walking down the dorm hall to the bathroom, it was still dead silent. Logan would have been petrified at the idea of being caught naked by somebody, but Jake? Well Jake now hoped somebody would see him and be jealous. 

Getting into the bathroom, I passed by Brad, another guy on our floor, who had a towel wrapped around his waist, still glistening from his shower. 

“Jake, the fuck?” He asked. I couldn’t pull off Jake’s voice yet, but I gave him a pat on the shoulder and winked at him as I pushed past. For a second I caught a glimpse of him checking out my body before he shook his head and rushed out to his room. I went to one of the mirrors in the bathroom and knelt over, posing and kissing at myself. Jake was going to become a lot more playful it seemed. 

I took my time in the shower, feeling every crevice of Jake’s body and feeling myself up. And of course, stretching out his hole some more to work him up to taking a real dick. Maybe by one of his new frat brothers I need to meet. Once I got back to our room, I knew there was only one thing left on my to do list of the morning. I went to Jake’s hamper and pulled out the jock which was mocking me just hours before. I sniffed at, Jake’s pheromones becoming mine. 

I slipped both legs down and had no trouble at all this time adjusting my bulge and feeling the elastic hug my jock thighs. I snapped one of the bands, feeling a sheer run my spine as I did so. Slipping one of his black shirts on, I went for Jake’s phone, which thankfully could be opened with just his face. I snapped a few pictures for myself to look at whenever I pleased. Now, how about we download Grindr to it and see what this new body can pull?

[nuzipilled]

THE GANGS ALL HERE 🗣️🔥‼️ information below the cut, “B” cast ( Doll, Lizzy, Thad) have not been included yet as they dont have a role in the main story yet. feel free to ask any questions, me and @kylelily123abc4 will do our best to answer them (:

UZI

Uzi is a 21 year old woman with an undergraduate in medical engineering, which she was coaxed into by her parents (Namely Khan). She is incredibly adept and smart and prefers the technicalities of weapons engineering, and majors in art on the side. She would like to do it full time, however her parents insist it’s not a “real job.” She volunteers at the local hospital N, V and J are relocated to from overseas so they can continue inpatient care until they are stable enough to be discharged and resume physio / psychotherapy as outpatients. She meets N during his time there and immediately clicks with him, and eventually begins to visit him on her off hours, and continues to visit him even after her contract ends. They end up establishing a relationship together and, after finding it is much less expensive commuting to school, moves in with N, V, J, Cyn and Tessa in their apartment for the semester.

She spent most of her childhood moving around and being bullied—the most significant moment having been when her first kiss was stolen by someone who only dated her because he was dared to.

Uzi is a big fan of all things anime, edgy humor, hot topic, and nightcore. she’s got the soul of an unabashed 2000s emo girl stuck in the modern day.

N

Private first class Nate (all his friends call him N) Is a 23 year old man who was fostered from a family in Utah alongside his sister Cyn under Tessa, another childhood friend, and the Elliot family in Melbourne Australia from the ages of 8-18. When of applicable age, he went back to the United States to enlist in the marines and live with Cyn, a former child prodigy who was scouted and given multiple scholarships due to record breaking academics and reflexes on simulator games.

He was severely traumatized during his first deployment overseas along with his other childhood friends, V, and J, after their humvee hit an IED during a routine supply run. All three were critically injured and the sole survivors of their team of 6. He, along with J and V spent a total of 12 hours alone in the desert before they were airlifted to an emergency hospital in germany, then, once stabilized, returned to the states to resume inpatient care in Salem, Oregon.

Despite his honorable discharge and severe ptsd diagnosis, N does his best to remain upbeat and positive, almost to a fault, oftentimes repressing “bad” thoughts or feelings.

He ends up meeting Uzi in the hospital and they form a relationship together, her eventually moving in and living with V, J, Him, Tessa, and Cyn in their flat after they’re discharged from the hospital.

J

Sergeant Jane (Only preferring J when around close friends) is a 26 year old trans woman who was fostered from an immigrant afghan family under Tessa, another childhood friend, and the Elliot family in Melbourne Australia from the ages of 4-18, having realized she was a woman very early in life. She began socially transitioning at 12, and began HRT as soon as she aged out of the system. She was the first to be involved with the Elliots and was pushed to enlist in the australian military, quickly moving up the ranks to sergeant and was eventually posted in the united states to assist in training other cadets. She was severely traumatized during her second deployment overseas along with her other childhood friends, V, and N after their humvee hit an IED during a routine supply run. All three were critically injured and the sole survivors of their team of 6. she, along with J and V spent a total of 12 hours alone in the desert before they were airlifted to an emergency hospital in germany, then, once stabilized, returned to the states to resume inpatient care in Salem, Oregon.

Having been their squad leader, J often blames herself for the incident, even if she doesn’t talk about it or say anything out loud. J is an ass kisser. She will do anything and everything to succeed and has a Holier Than Thou personality, often very uptight and not about any bullshit. Her relationship with N specifically is horrible, and she harbours lots of jealousy and resentment from their time growing up due to favoritism.

She has a long standing, massive crush on Tessa Elliot, her longtime confidant and friend, though it went unrequited for their entire childhood and into their early adult life, J often being subject to Tessa’s dating endeavours and crushes in the meantime.

V

Lance Corporal Victoria, (Who prefers to go by V present day) 4-18 who was fostered from a family in Vermont under Tessa, another childhood friend, and the Elliot family in Melbourne Australia from the ages of 8-18. She enlisted in the military alongside J and eventually N, and was transferred to the states to assist in training procedures for new cadets with J.

She was decommissioned during her second deployment overseas along with N and J after their humvee hit an IED during a routine supply run. All three were critically injured and the sole survivors of their team of 6. She took the brunt of the blast, sustaining the most severe wounds and was airlifted to an emergency hospital in germany, then, once stabilized, returned to the states to resume inpatient care in Salem, Oregon.

The doctors operating on her told her she would never walk again--V proved that wrong by walking the next week. It was a miracle—however V simply states it was due to “having that dog in her.”

She is very resilient, but is often grumpy with a dry sense of tone and humor. She used to have feelings for N when they were kids, but it's since faded as they grew and disappeared during their time in active duty. Though despite this, she still cares for him as a friend, even if she rarely shows it.

She is the first to be discharged, having been set up in an apartment downtown by Tessa, who lives with her and eventually is joined by N, J, Cyn, and eventually Uzi. She is a gym rat with a heavy workout regimen that she will make everyone else's problem if its interrupted.

CYN

Cynthia (Who ONLY goes by Cyn present day) is N's little sister. She is still in active duty in the military air-force. She was a child savant who graduated highschool at 14 and college at 18, moving on to become one of the best UAV operators in history, with successful missions reaching into the hundreds. Cyn is autistic and physically disabled, having been born with cerebral palsy, and uses forearm crutches as mobility aids--but make no mistake, she is incredibly intuitive and adept. often knock-kneed and walks with an awkward gate, and speaks with very ‘robotic’ mannerisms. She sometimes struggles to show empathy in a ‘socially normal way’ or have a conversational filter. She has a very dark sense of humor as well, that for those not used to her may find jarring or off putting. Cyn hates being referred to as a child or incompetent because of her appearance or her disability, she will even go to an extent to prove the point that she does not need assistance. Tends to be protective of N, to a lesser but still protective of V and J and much later down the line Uzi becomes a close friend of hers.

In her off time she enjoys painting warhammer figurines, collecting cards and playing video games. She has a very kitsch, macabre sense of interest, often owning eclectic, odd knick knacks and memorabilia, namely a taxidermied wombat she’s affectionately named “Suzie.”

TESSA

Dr Tessa James Elliot is a very talented surgeon working out of a public hospital in Brisbane, Australia, descending from a very rich family. She is N, V and J’s childhood friend and frequently travels to different parts of the world to assist in surgeries or specialist care. Tessa paused all of her work when she learned of their incident overseas, flying to America to personally attend to their care–with some bribery and finagling due to HIPPA not allowing biased treatment. She just cares too much to not do anything. Tessa is a joyful, social butterfly. Excellent bedside manner and a good sense of humor but sometimes comes off as socially awkward. She is J’s lifelong crush despite not being aware of it, having spent some time dating around but nobody ever seems to be the right fit. She often complains about her recent dating endeavors to J much to her chagrin.

Tessa is, for the lack of a better word, weird. Think Cyn with a little more charisma, often not having a conversational filter or saying things out of the blue. She is not disturbed by otherwise off putting things like death, bodily fluids, nudity, gore etc, and has a bit of a dark sense of humor that she portrays very upbeat and positively. She is incredibly smart and adept bookwise, however socially she comes up a bit short.

there is an alternative version of these guys however it is 18+ for nudity. you can see it on bluesky here and twitter here

[fanficsdumpomg]

Brozone NSFW Headcannons (Fem!Reader) (Male!Reader for Floyd)

John Dory:

*Okay, John Dory during his band days probably didn't have much experience because he was so focused on making Brozone perfect, probably a couple flings here and there.

*John Dory now is like a sad little pet who hasn't been touched in 15+ years. I mean c'mon people man spent the last decade and a half alone in the wilderness with only his pet armadillo. Man's going to be pathetic and whiney.

*John Dory gives me total switch vibes, can go from dom to sub in an instant when he bottoms out

"Fuuucckk....baby...please touch me... kiss me.. just do something, don't torture me.."

*Noisy, noisy, and whiny old man. Whines during foreplay and whines during sex

*John strikes me as a total ass and thigh man, he loves to constantly have his hand on one of those two things. Out on a dinner date? The hand is on your upper thigh. At a party? The hand is on your ass. Basically, anywhere y'all go no matter if it's public or private he will be feeling you up.

*Please, please sit on his face; the man wants you to crush him while he eats you out.

*And speaking of ass, John Dory loves to give you those surprise spanks during the day. For the life of him, he cannot keep his hands off of you and y'all usually end up in a play tackle fight which ends in him manhandling you more.

*John Dory also strikes me as the type to love marking you up and you marking him up. Hickies, yes! Scratches on his back, double yes! Wants to feel you and have you feel him the next day.

*Fav positions: Face-off, 69, Downward doggy and Standing Missionary.

*John Dory's turn-ons? Kissing him all over his face, challenging him (bringing out his competitive side), and playing with his hair. Honestly, you could breathe on this man, and he would be ready, he just loves you so much!

*John Dory's other Kink's/Fetishes include, A scent kink (receiving and giving), outdoor/public sex, praise kink (please tell him he's a good boy), overstimulation and voyeurism (likes to watch you touch yourself).

John Dory's cock is definitely above average, his normal size is around 5.5 inches and when hard it is 6 inches. John probably had better grooming habits during his brozone era but post brozone does not groom down there so it is hairy.

___________________________________________________________

Bruce: (Spruce)

*Bruce during the Band days was probably a serious womanizer/fuckboy

*Gives me soft Dom vibes, specifically daddy dom vibes.

*Bruce is a big tease, loves to tease you during sex and during your guy's day to day too.

*"Don’t work too hard, baby. I want you to have plenty of energy for me later."

*Kind of a perv too, asks you to get something from a low cabinet and when you bend over, he loves to press his bulge against you.

*"That's right,Baby Girl; cum on Daddy's cock!"

*Bruce is a big man himself, so he loves chubbier people. Loves having more to touch and feel during your more intimate and affectionate times.

*Bruce has a serious breeding kink, wants to have as many children as possible with you and recreate the family he lost when brozone disbanded. if you can't have kids for any reason, that's fine; he's still going to cum inside you every chance he gets.

*Bruce loves his partners chest, total tits man. Loves to come up behind you during the day and grope you teasingly to get you turned on. Also loves to play with your chest during, sex; it's a big part of his foreplay. Loves to pinch, bite and mark up your chest.

*Total Munch Vibes ✨, I mean have you seen the man eat? He’ll eat you out so good.

*Bruce is a mix between quiet and loud, definitely a moaner though. Mixes between moans and groans during sex

*Fav Positions: Pretzel dip, spooning, reclined butterfly and mating press.

*Loves when you touch his hair between running your fingers through it, pulling it or stylizing him; the man will be putty in your arms.

*Another one of Bruce's turn ons include strategically placed kisses. Kissing him on the back of his neck, ear or wrist will make the man go feral and pounce you in an instant.

Bruce's other Kinks/Fetishes include Edging (likes to make you work for it), Food Play (Man loves to eat, and what better way to combine his two favorite things) and Overstimulation (likes to give you as many orgasms as possible after edging you for a period of time).

*I head cannon that Bruce is the smallest of his bros but the thickest. Standing at a 4.8 with a thick head. Has good grooming habits and shaves down there when he can.

____________________________

Clay:

*Clay in mind is a strict dom. Because he had to be the "fun one" during brozone he likes having control over his personal life now.

*Clay strikes me as an ass man, when you're a brat loves to spank/paddle you as a punishment.

*"Excuse me? Do I have to take you over my knee to show you how to behave, little girl?"

*Since I head cannon that he’s an ass man, he would probably love anal

*As much as he pretends that he hates when you act out, secretly he loves when you're a brat; loves having that feeling of control over you and giving out your punishments.

*Super quiet during sex, does not make any noise.

*You work with clay doing administrative duties. Clay loves to put a vibrator inside you and deny your orgasm until you finish paperwork. He also sits you on his lap while you work and whispers teasing remarks and gropes you while you work. You'll be a crying, pathetic mess during but the reward is so sweet.

*While Clay is a strict dom, he's not a mean dom; if you follow his rules and are a good girl you will get rewarded by getting the most mind-blowing orgasms.

*"You're already that wet? God you're pathetic."

*Big degrader, loves to watch you cry from his mean words.

*Loves to Give and Receive Oral. Big head pusher when you give him oral and a big tease when he gives you oral.

*Clay's turn ons also include Light touches (Brushing up against him in public and private), Kissing (Those slow kisses that turn passionate and rough), and playing with his hair.

*Clay's Kinks include Bondage (Loves to tie you up/immobilize you during sex), Roleplaying, Gagging (Will Gag you if you get too mouthy or loud), and Edging (controls when and how you will get your orgasms)

*Clay is a grower, 4.5 flaccid and 5 inches hard. Definitely nicely groomed and shaved weekly.

____________________________________________

Floyd:

*Floyd is the sensitive one of the group so I imagine he's a switch sub leaning.

*Big whiney crybaby, will cry for you to touch him and will cry during sex.

"*Gasp*, Please... don't stop"

*Floyd loves all of his partner, but his favorite part would his partners hands touching, groping and manhandling him.

*Loves to be bitten, wants to feel like he belongs so biting and marking him up to show that he's yours is a given.

*Loves to be tied up/restrained in any way possible. Tying his arms up, tying his legs together is 100% okay in his book. Also loves some sensory deprivation when being tied up.

*Even if he is doming you, you're still in some sort of control albeit riding him or being a power bottom.

*When doming he loves to be sensual; praise you, kiss you and touch you all over.

*"You...feel..so..good" You...are so...pretty, I'm so lucky to have you"

* Floyds also likes to be praised when he subs, wants to know how much you love every part of him.

*Prefers to give oral rather than receive it.

*Fav Positions: The Bicycle, Missionary and The Hot Seat

*Floyd's turn ons also include, playing with his hair (please pull his hair, he will be putty in your hands), when you lightly and teasingly touch him on the back of his neck, and when you lovingly gaze at him for long periods of time.

*Floyd’s other kinks include Melolagnia (loves listening to you sing and loves to perform duets with you.), and piercings (this is the emo in him but he totally finds piercings hot)

*Floyd is def a shower, he remains at 5 inches flaccid and hard. Probably the cleanest and best groomer of all his brothers.

_________________________

Branch:

*Branch is a total Dom, goes from Soft Dom ✨ to Rough Dom.

*Possessive Sex is a must with this man, he has been alone for so long and when the two of you get together he gets insanely possessive/jealous all the time.

“You’re Mine….” “No one else can have you…”

*Honestly gives me Soft!Yandere Vibes and Trolls 1 Branch probably considered locking you up in his bunker so you’d be safe from the world.

*Loves to mark you up! Bite marks, hickies and scratch marks will go anywhere and everywhere on your body. Wants everyone to know who you belong too

“Branch loves every part of his partner which ties into his marking kink. Will touch, grope, spank and bite every part of you.

“Branch loves to praise be praised, praise him during the day on his building skills or on his intelligence and the man will go feral for you.

*Prefers to give oral, he doesn’t mind receiving he just like seeing you shiver and moan while he eats you out.

*When praising you, Branch loves to tell you how smart/pretty/good you are.

*”So pretty…I love you so much…you’re so good for me…”.

*Big Man-handler, will throw you around during sex like you way nothing.

*He loves to be in control during sex. Will control pace, tempo and speed.

*Loves to restrain you during sex, tying up your arms, legs, etc. Likes to see you at his mercy.

*Branch’s turn ons include, seeing his partner making intelligent decisions, soft kisses in passing and spending quality time together (you could’ve hung out with your friend but you choose to spend time with him? Mans in love)

*Fav Positions: Seated Scissors, Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl and the Lazy man.

*Branch would also have a smidge of breeding kink, he’s looking to recreate that family connection he lost when brozone disbanded, also that would cement the idea that you are his forever. If you can’t have kids that’s okay, you can adopt and he still likes to play out the fantasy in his mind and comes inside you during sex.

*Loves having his ears nibbled on, guaranteed way to instantly turn him on.

*Just like his favorite bro, branch is into Melolagnia. Loves hearing your voice and gets majorly turned on after singing with you; it’s like and adrenaline rush for him.

*I head cannon Branch is the biggest and thickest out of all the brothers. Dude is a grower with a 5.5 inch flaccid and a 6.5 inch hard. Has a thick base that hits you in all the right places ✨. Branch has good grooming habits but does not shave.

[sweetdispatch]

Keep it quiet - J. Marino

6 days of kinkmas

pairing: John Marino x girlfriend!reader

summary: John's girlfriend teased him in front of their parents and he has enough of it

warning: NSFW, graphic sex (18+), mirror sex, hair pulling, spanking, swear words

words: 1.4k

note: it's possible that i prepared an extra day for kinkmas👀

---

You and John lived quietly in Utah. He was focusing on his recovery and that’s why you two decided to stay in Salt Lake City for Christmas instead of going to visit each other's families. Yours and his parents wanted to visit you because they didn’t want both of you to be alone during Christmas. You two were grateful for this but after just one day, John wanted to have only you and have his way with you without anyone around.

24th December. Yours and his parents arrived in your apartment. It was a casual day and nothing fancy was planned except for shopping. You took your and John’ mum to do it when John stayed with your and his father. When you and both mums were in the shop buying the last essentials to prepare Christmas meals, John and both dads were decorating the dining room. You two totally skipped this room, thinking that you’re gonna spend Christmas in front of the tv cuddling all day. 

You returned from shopping and started placing things in the fridge and cabinets. John turned on Home Alone on the tv and yours and his family sat down to watch. Although none of you really watched the movie. You were catching up with each other lifes. You were cuddled into John under the blanket and started teasing him. You put your hand under his shirt and started caressing his stomach and chest. 

“Drop it” John whispered into your ear.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” You said innocently. Your parents, completely unaware of what you’re doing to him, thought it’s a cute moment in between you two. 

25th December. Whole morning everyone was so caught up in preparing meals for dinner and cleaning the apartment. You were in the kitchen baking ham while John was making eggnog. Every time you were walking around the kitchen, you “accidentally” bumped into him with your ass. He was well aware of what you’re doing but he knew he can’t do anything. Not when your and his parents are here. 

It was finally time to sit down at the table and eat. You went to change into more presentable clothes because you spent the day in John’ shirt and sweatpants. You pulled out of the closet a new dress that you’ve bought for a New Year’s Eve party but now, it felt like a perfect choice. It was a red dress that perfectly laid on your body and you knew he’s gonna go feral seeing you in this. 

You went to the dining room and saw everyone already sitting at the table. When you entered the room, John’ eyes immediately laid on you and he could feel his bulge growing in his pants. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep his hands from you. Dinner went smoothly but when all of you were sitting and talking, you started playing with John’ hand that was placed on your thigh. 

You put his hand under your dress and John looked at you. You were talking with his mum and teasing him as much as you could. You loved the thrill of emotions but he wasn’t with what you’re doing. John wasn’t letting you win but when you placed your hand dangerously close to his bulge, he had enough of you. 

“I’m going to the bathroom” John stood up and sent you a look meaning that you have to follow him. Couple seconds later, you picked up your plate wanting to clean when your mum spoke.

“Leave it. You and Johnny prepared the meals so we’ll clean” She smiled at you.

Quickly you went to the bathroom you’ve had in your bedroom. 

“Took you long enough” John said with irony and pulled you into a passionate kiss. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you but I’m gonna fuck the attitude out of you” 

John took the dress out of you and started placing kisses on your neck and chest. You put your hands into his curls, pulling them slightly. He got rid of his shirt and pants and you two stood there only in your underwear.

“You were acting like a brat for the past two days. I need to teach you a lesson that you shouldn’t tease me in front of your and my parents” He turned you around. You looked at yourself in the mirror and flustered at the sight. “Don’t act all shy now when you’re the one who put us in this situation” John whispered into your ear and unhooked your bra. 

John was playing with your boobs while you were facing the mirror. You looked down but he pulled your hair and forced you to look back at yourself. He started going lower with his hand and circulated your clit through your panties.

“Johnny please” You begged.

“Patience, love. It’s not so nice to be teased right?” He chuckled. He saw a wet spot growing on your panties. “So wet and I didn’t even start” He kissed the side of your neck and took off your panties. 

You felt so vulnerable in this position. Standing naked in front of the mirror with John behind you. He looked at you through the reflection and saw your cheeks turning red. He pulled down his underwear and grabbed your hips. You could feel his hard dick on your back. 

“Can you feel the effect you have on me?” You nodded your head rapidly. “Bend over” 

You listened to his instruction and felt a hard slap landing on your ass. 

“That’s for being a brat” He said and placed a kiss on your ass. 

John positioned himself behind you and pushed his whole length inside of you. You moaned loudly. 

“Keep it quiet. You don’t want your parents to hear how good I fill you up” He whispered into your ear. 

John started moving inside of you. With each move your stomach was hitting a cold sink. You tried to be quiet but with his speed you couldn’t. You bit your tongue but your moans were still audible. In his liking, you were still too loud. 

John grabbed your hair in his hand and pushed you closer to his body. Your back hit his chest and he placed his hand on your mouth to keep you quiet. Still, he was thrusting into you roughly. You arched back from the pleasure. This new angle felt good. He was hitting your spot. 

John let go of your hair but placed his hand on your stomach to keep you in place with his hand still on your mouth. He started leaving kisses on your shoulder. You followed his moves through the reflection. Your eyes met his. 

“You see how good I’m filling you? You look so hot like that. All at my mercy” He said into your ear and bit it gently. You moaned into his hand. “I can feel you’re close. Do you think you deserve to cum?” You shook your head in a yes gesture. 

He went lower with his hand from your stomach and placed it on your pussy. John started playing with your clit, still thrusting into you roughly. You were a mess under his touch. You pulled your hand behind, straight into his hair to pull him closer. 

“I want you to look at yourself while you cum” He stated and kissed your cheek. 

You felt overwhelmed by this experience. You tried to keep your eyes opened while looking into the mirror. John could feel that the two of you are close and he also looked into the mirror. Both of you locked your eyes in the reflection and in that moment you cum. You moaned his name into his hand. 

John didn’t stop there. He was going for his own release, still thrusting into you. Soon after, he filled you up with his cum. John took off the hand from your mouth and pulled away from you. You turned around to see his face.

“You alright?” He asked while caressing your cheek.

“I’m great. This was incredible. I didn’t know mirror sex can be that much fun” You giggled. “When our parents are gone, we should try in front of the mirror in the living room” You said and kissed his lips.

“You’re playing with fire” John kissed you. “Now let’s get washed and to bed” He slapped your ass and led you into the shower.

[snowysosturn]

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 13

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warnings : MDNI, slight tension, angst, suggestive, praise, flirting (kinda), cursing

Matts POV

The sun was dipping low, orange and pink hues painted the sky as I stared out the window. The day had been pretty chill now that Emily was gone, I had some space and could just hang out with Chris and Nick. But now, things were about to get a whole lot more interesting. Nate, our friend from Boston, was visiting for the next week or so and had just arrived at our house. It felt like old times again, having the whole gang together.

“Yo, Matt!” Nate’s voice rang out from the living room. “You ready to lose tonight?”

I smirked, walking in to find him and Chris sprawled out on the couch. “Lose? You mean, are you ready to lose? I’ve been working on my swing, man.”

Nate laughed, shaking his head. “We’ll see about that. My game’s been on point lately.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll put 100 bucks on it.” I said, rolling my eyes and grabbing my phone off the counter. “Where’s Nick?”

“He’s in his room” Chris said. “Probably trying to pick out an outfit like it’s some kind of fashion show.”

I chuckled. “Well, he better hurry up. We’re supposed to leave in like ten minutes.”

As if on cue, Nick walked down the stairs into the room, looking way too casual for someone who’d spent an extra ten minutes getting ready.

“Speaking of the devil” I said, crossing my arms with a grin, “You finally done making yourself pretty?”

Nick laughed it off. “I was just making sure my plus one could come.”

“Plus one?” I raised an eyebrow, not sure what he meant.

“Yeah?” Nick said, glancing around the room at all of us. “I invited Y/n to come with us.”

I felt my grin fade a bit, replaced by surprise. I hadn’t seen that coming. Not that I had a problem with Y/n coming along, but with everything that had gone down with Emily.. things were complicated, especially after last time.

I shot Nick a look, trying to figure out what he was thinking. “You sure that’s a good idea? I mean, Emily wasn’t exactly happy about us hanging out.”

Nick shrugged, looking calm and collected. “If I remember correctly, she said she didn’t want you two hanging out alone. We’re all going, right? It’s not like it’s just you and Y/n. There’ll be six of us total.”

I thought about that for a second, replaying Emily’s words in my head. Nick wasn’t wrong. Emily’s issue was with me and Y/n spending time together one on one, not in a group. And honestly, Y/n was Nick’s friend too. We couldn’t just exclude her because of Emily’s feelings.

Nick gave me that knowing look, a half smile tugging at his lips. “Come on. Don’t overthink it. It’s just Top Golf.”

I sighed, feeling some of the tension slip away as I realized Nick had a point. There was no reason to blow this out of proportion. It was just a fun night out with friends.

“Alright, fine..” I said, clapping Nick on the shoulder. “But you’re dealing with Emily if she freaks out.”

Nick chuckled. “Deal. I told her we’ll pick her up on the way.”

The doorbell rang then, echoing through the house.

“That’ll be Madi” Chris said, getting up to answer it.

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to shake off the last bit of unease. I grabbed my keys off the counter and turned back to the guys. “Alright, let’s do this. Nate, I hope you’re ready to lose your money tonight.”

Nate laughed, his confidence unwavering. “You wish.”

We all grabbed our stuff and headed out the door, the excitement for the night starting to build. As I locked up, I couldn’t help but wonder how the evening was going to play out. With Y/n along for the ride, things were bound to go one of two ways, to be very awkward or very interesting.

But as I climbed into the car with my friends, I pushed those thoughts aside. Tonight was about having fun. Whatever happened, I'd deal with it together. Just like I always did.

Y/n POV

I blinked at the message, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves. I hadn’t been expecting an invitation tonight. Before I could overthink it, I typed back a quick reply:

Me: Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.

His response was immediate.

Nick 💜 : Of course, you’re not intruding! Nate’s visiting from Boston, and Madi’s coming too. It’ll be a good time.

Seeing that Nate and Madi would be there made me feel a little more at ease. It wasn’t just going to be me and the guys, so there wouldn’t be any weirdness or pressure. Still, the thought of seeing Matt again had my heart racing. I wasn’t sure how it would feel being around him tonight.

Me: Okay, sounds fun!

Nick 💜: Great! We’ll swing by and pick you up in about 30. See you soon!

I set my phone down, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. This was just a casual night out with friends, no big deal. But the potential thought that I’d see Matt again had my mind racing with thoughts I couldn’t quite push away. Shaking my head, I decided to focus on getting ready instead of overthinking.

I pulled open my closet and sifted through my clothes, trying to find something that was cute but casual enough for Top Golf. I settled on a cropped tank top with a flannel shirt layered over it. I paired it with my favorite jeans and some comfy sneakers. After giving myself a look over in the mirror, I decided to put a little extra effort into my hair and makeup. Maybe it was silly, but I wanted to feel confident tonight.

I was just finishing up when my phone buzzed again, this time with a message from Nick letting me know they were outside. I grabbed my bag, gave my reflection a quick nod of approval, and headed out the door. The nervous energy in my chest made me feel ridiculous, but I couldn’t shake it.

As I walked outside, I spotted a familiar car waiting at the curb. Matt’s car. My breath hitched for a moment. I could see Matt in the driver’s seat, Chris up front with him. I walked up to the car trying to not make direct eye contact with anyone. Nick slid open the back door and flashed me a welcoming grin.

“Hey girl! Hop in!” he said, scooting over to make room for me.

I climbed into the car, trying to keep my cool as I greeted everyone. “Hey guys!”

Matt glanced back at me through the rearview mirror, his expression softening as our eyes met. No words were exchanged, we just gave each other a half smile, the kind that made time feel like it slowed down time. I returned the smile, feeling a warmth in my chest that made me even more nervous.

“Hey, I’m Madi” said the girl sitting in the third row, offering me a friendly wave.

“And I’m Nate” added the guy next to her, a tall guy with a laid back vibe. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too!” I said, glad to finally meet the people I’d heard about from Nick.

The drive to Top Golf was surprisingly quick. Everyone was in high spirits, chatting and laughing, and I found myself relaxing as the conversation flowed easily. We unloaded from the car once we arrived, and Matt, being the gentleman he was, swung open the door on my side. Our eyes met again as I stepped out, and we exchanged another one of those small, lingering smiles.

“Thanks” I said softly, feeling a flutter in my stomach.

“No problem” Matt replied, his voice low and easygoing. The moment was brief, but it left me feeling strangely content.

As we all walked into the building, I found myself sticking close to Nick, who was happily chatting about how excited he was to see Nate again, and Matt stood on the other side of me, silent. “I’ve never done this before” I admitted to him as we waited at the reception desk. “I’m looking forward to seeing what it’s all about.”

Nick gave me a reassuring grin. “You’ll love it. It’s a good time, especially with this crew.”

We got our bay assignment from the receptionist and made our way up to the second floor. The place was buzzing with energy, people laughing, music playing, and the satisfying whack of golf balls being hit. We reached our booth, which had a great view of the range, and Matt immediately took charge of inputting all of our names into the machine.

I stood back, taking it all in. The setup was way cooler than I’d imagined, with all these targets spread out across the field in different colors. “So, what’s the deal with all the rings out there?” I asked out loud, walking past Matt to get closer to the yellow line on the ground to get a better look.

Matt joined me, leaning in slightly as he explained. “Each ring gives you a different amount of points. The farther away it is and the closer you get to the centre, the more points you score.”

I turned to him, genuinely surprised. “Wait, so there’s actually an aim to this? All this time I thought you were just hitting golf balls as stress relief.”

Matt let out a laugh, the sound making me smile. “Yeah, it’s a little more than that. But it’s fun either way.”

Chris was up first, so Matt and I moved out of his way, still chatting. He pointed out the different clubs sitting in the box beside us.

“So, these are your options” he said, picking up a golf club that was easily as tall as me. “This one’s a driver. Good for getting the ball as far out as possible.”

I eyed the club, tilting my head. “That thing’s huge. I don’t think I can even hold that properly. You’re sure I won’t just end up swinging and missing completely?”

Matt grinned, the playful glint in his eyes making me relax a little more. “It’s all in the technique. But if you think it’s too much, there are shorter ones too.” He handed me a smaller club, our fingers brushing briefly. “This one might be more your speed.”

I took the club, testing the weight of it in my hands. “Okay, this feels better. I can actually manage this one.”

“Good choice.” Matt said, his tone teasing as he picked up another club for himself. “But remember, it’s not just about the length. It’s how you use it.”

I rolled my eyes, laughing at his playful manner. “Right. I’ll keep that in mind, golf pro.” I blushed slightly. Was he flirting with me? No he didn’t mean it like that..

He chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners in that way that made it impossible not to smile back. “I’ll show you some tips when it’s your turn.”

“Thanks, I’ll need them!” I admitted, feeling more comfortable around him than I had all night.

We all watched as Chris took his first swing, sending the ball flying towards one of the targets. Everyone cheered, and I found myself getting more excited to take my turn.

As I stood there with Matt, bantering back and forth about the clubs, I realized that maybe tonight wasn’t going to be as nerve wrecking as I’d thought. We were just a group of friends having fun, and Matt’s easygoing nature was making it hard to feel anything but relaxed. He was one of those people I instantly felt comfortable around.

When I looked up at the screen to check whose turn it was, I noticed something that made my heart skip a beat. Instead of my full name, the screen showed my nickname, one that only my closest friends used. My face flushed as I realized Matt must have been the one who put it in like that. It was a small gesture, but it made me feel warm inside.

Feeling a mix of anticipation and nerves, I stepped up to the mark and placed the golf ball on the tee. I took a deep breath, trying to channel the confidence Matt had given me earlier, and swung the club. 

But instead of sailing out into the field, the ball shot straight into the netting below me. I froze in place, wide eyed and embarrassed as laughter erupted behind me. Turning around, I caught their amused faces and couldn’t help but laugh at myself too.

“You’re hitting the ball like it’s mini golf!” Matt called out, his voice full of laughter. His teasing was light hearted, and I could tell he wasn’t trying to make me feel bad.

“I’m scared to swing it properly!” I confessed, still laughing as I turned back to face him.

Matt shook his head, still chuckling as he made his way over to me. “Here, let me help you.”

My heart skipped again as he came closer, standing directly behind me. The next thing I knew, Matt was wrapping his arms around mine, placing his hands on top of mine on the club. His touch was gentle but firm, guiding me into the right position. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, and suddenly, we were practically spooning while standing up. My heart raced in my chest, beating so loud I was sure he could hear it.

“Just relax” Matt said softly, his voice close to my ear. We swung the club back together, and in one smooth motion, he guided the swing, sending the ball flying down to the bottom of the field. I watched it soar, feeling a rush of excitement at how far it went.

“Do you feel better about it now?” Matt asked, his voice still low, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine.

“Yeah, it’s a little less scary now” I admitted, smiling up at him as he stepped back.

With my newfound confidence, I picked up another golf ball and placed it on the tee. Matt walked back to his seat, and I focused on the ball, trying to replicate what Matt had shown me. I took the same stance, swung the club the same way, and to my amazement, the ball flew straight to the furthest ring.

Everyone cheered in unison, and I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face. “That’s the girl!” I heard Matt yell from behind me, his voice full of encouragement. My cheeks flushed at his praise, but I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.

I took my last two turns, each time sending the ball further than the last. Every time I hit a good shot, the group cheered, and Matt’s voice always seemed to stand out above the rest. After my final shot, I put the club back in its slot and turned around to see Matt standing there with a big grin. He held up both his hands, and I gave him a double high five, our palms smacking together in a satisfying way.

We both sat down, still buzzing from the game. Matt and I started chatting, the conversation flowing easily between us. It felt good, natural, like we’d been friends forever. Before I knew it, the hour was up, and the game was over.

Nate won by a country mile, with Chris and Matt tying for second. I won’t mention where the rest of us ended up, but let’s just say it was clear who the pros were in this group.

‘Time to cough that 100 bucks up Matt.’ Nate teased.

As we all started gathering our things, Chris groaned. “Ugh, I’m not ready to go home yet. Can we do something else?”

“We could all go for a walk on the beach?” Nate suggested, his tone casual, but the idea sounded perfect to me.

Nick lit up at the suggestion. “Fucking brilliant idea, Nate.”

Matt looked over at me, almost as if he was checking to see if I’d be up for it. Our eyes met, and I gave him a reassuring smile. “The beach sounds nice. I love the beach at night.”

With that, the plan was set. We all piled back into Matt’s car, the mood even more relaxed and happy than before. I slid into the back seat next to Nick again, feeling the cool night air on my face as we drove toward the beach.

It had been a fun night so far, but something told me that the best part was still to come.

a/n : i wasn't going to post this until sunday but here you goooooo (but now you have to wait until sunday for the next part lol)

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696

[gyusimp]

Can you please write a kenji sato x best friend . Where he is outgoing/ extroverted and the reader is introverted and totally opposite . Like he fell first but she fell harder troupe. Thank youx

°•𝑩𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 [[ᴷᵉⁿʲⁱ ᔆᵃᵗᵒ ˣ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ ᵒⁿᵉ⁻ˢʰᵒᵗ]

3.5k words | No warnings | SFW | Fluff | I have no idea what timeline I wrote this in lol just enjoy it 💖😅

"I finally have an answer to your question" Kenji confessed, smiling as he rested on your bed.

"So, do you know what you're going to give me for my birthday?" You had been joking with that for months.

Remembering over and over again the proximity of your birthday while he avoided the question on purpose or simply answered you “my sincere friendship” as a joke. Today he was visiting your house and you both agreed to meet in person to talk in a more pleasant way while you updated him on your things and he updated you.

"Just close your eyes" he told you, while you obeyed and he asked you to extend your hands to receive your gift.

"Wow, you're not even going to wait for the day to come" you commented smiling.

"Now. You can open them" he pointed at you and you did exactly that. You saw his cell phone in your hands and how it showed the website of a hotel with some numbers and its details written on the screen. It was a reservation for a month from now, right on the weekend of your birthday, to spend it alone at the beach, he knows how much you love it even though you haven't been there that many times, so he wanted to do something more special for you this time than just taking you to the movies or an expensive restaurant.

"I can't believe it Kenji! Are you serious?" You asked, to which he nodded, happy to see your reaction.

You were moved by his nice gesture so you hugged him and thanked him a thousand times while you talked to him excitedly, looking at the photos of the hotel on the beach, right by the sea. Kenji told you that he had even already talked to your parents about it so there was no problem with them, both of them knew Kenji since you became his best friend almost 6 years ago so they can trust him.

Kenji was happy to be able to make you smile like that. He would do anything necessary to always make you smile and let you know how much you mean to him. Things haven't been easy since he realized his feelings for you 2 years ago, keeping what he feels for fear of ruining everything you've built together has been exhausting and frustrating at times, but if keeping that to himself ensures that he can talk to you without any impediment or lose your trust then it was worth it. Sometimes it was still difficult not being able to tell you in a different tone of voice how pretty you look, hug you in a different way and kiss your face whenever he wanted, but it's something he's learned to handle. The following weeks you couldn't stop thinking about the trip, going shopping with him to try on clothes and such until the days were getting closer and now you found yourself doing a video call with him while you both packed your things to leave very early tomorrow.

The appreciation you had for Kenji was very special, both of you used to be different most of the time but maybe that made you complement each other better. You still remember when he was the one who took the initiative to talk to you at university when he saw that you didn't do it with anyone else, most of the time you spent reading, listening to music and avoiding people. You used to get along well with some classmates but it wasn't anything serious compared to him who knew a considerable amount of people on and off campus, he had several girls from different careers behind him and several fans who followed him even at the beginning of his sports career until the day he became a celebrity.

Despite being talkative and louder than the average of the people you usually talk to, there was something about him that you found pleasant and made you trust him, little by little feeling happier when you spent time by his side during breaks and then you started talking about him more often at home until you introduced him to your parents and the rest was history. The two of you were talking and joking on the video call, showing each other the things you packed and picking out your outfits. You loved that he had such a good fashion sense.

“Well, I think I’m done,” he said, taking out his phone.

“Wait, not me. I still don’t know where to put my makeup. Should I put it in the clothes or shoes suitcase?” you asked more to yourself.

"Don’t be exaggerated" he laughed "we’re leaving for a couple of days, not a month. Pack just a lipstick and mascara, i don't know"

"Obviously not, I’ll have to be touching up a lot because of the heat so I have to take everything. See! I almost forgot the sunscreen!"

" It doesn’t matter, I’ll bring one"

"Yes, but mine is tinted, like a foundation" you answered, making him laugh with the details you mentioned.

You talked for a while longer until you told him it was better to go to sleep. He would arrive early for you in his car. The next morning, you ended up falling asleep in the passenger seat while he was driving, your nerves didn’t let you rest well and he insisted that you sleep a little longer on the way when he saw you nod off a couple of times, when you woke up, you would meet at the beach. And so it was, in a couple of hours you were already on your way to the hotel and when you arrived it was more incredible than you imagined, the huge building full of windows and balconies was much bigger than it appeared in the photographs on the website. A lot of palm trees adorned the luxurious entrance of the place towards the reception as you both walked with your things to check in and get the key to your room. Anyone would think you were an excited young couple on their honeymoon.

You entered the room and took the bed you wanted since he let you choose, you placed your suitcases on the bed just like him and you changed your clothes in the bathroom to a cooler one. You called your parents to send them some photos and tell them that everything was fine.

"It's nice, isn't it? I didn't think this place was so big"

"Yes, it's incredible… thank you very much for the gift, it really is something very nice."He smiled when he heard your words and lightly shook the hair on your head.

"It’s nothing, anything for you… "

You two decide to leave the room and walk in and out of the hotel for the rest of the day. Everything is so nice and it’s nice to be able to spend time alone with him in a different way, Kenji can notice how happy you are and he loves the way he manages to make you smile. You are the person who has brought him the most happiness in this stage of his life and thinking about that makes his feelings for you only increase. Sometimes he wonders if he will ever be able to let you know, he is a self-confident person and maybe if the fear of losing you because you don’t reciprocate his feelings didn’t torment him so much, he would have already declared his love for you a long time ago.

After a day of walking around the place, he decides to take you to another part, more secluded from the hustle of the clubs near the docks and the tourism that fills the small place. You walk with him to a private part of the beach within the perimeter of the hotel where you decide to sit and talk, watching the waves and listening to their soft sound, feeling the cool breeze crash against your faces, illuminated by the moonlight and some torches serving as decoration of the hotel. The atmosphere was calm and relaxed, making both of you feel comfortable and confident next to each other.

"Thank you very much for everything Kenji…" He smiled, sweetly.

"I just wanted to do something different for you" You smiled in response, running your hands along your arms at the breeze on your skin. He got closer to you "Are you cold? Do you want me to go get your hooddie?" He asked, as attentive as always.

"No, don't worry, I'm fine. Our things are far away anyway" you thanked him, however, he found it convenient to put his arm around you to make you feel better.

"Well, then I'll have to take care of it myself" he joked as he hugged you, letting you cover yourself in his touch as you sat on the sand.

Silence was present for a few minutes, until your voice rang out again to speak to him. "You know, I also mean, thank you for everything…not just for my gift" you continued, in a soft voice, slightly embarrassed for saying such sentimental things "I've never had a friend so close or that I cared so much about before I met you…you know that it's hard for me to create bonds and such, normally I distance myself from people but, I never felt that need when I'm with you…" Your words made him smile, caressing your arm

"Thank you…I'm glad to know that. I'm also happy to be able to have you in my life. I've never had a best friend before either so it's nice that we complete each other so well…" What he said left you thinking and your chest jumped slightly without fully knowing the reason. You looked in detail at his arm around your shoulders and how close you both were, managing to make you nervous and feeling how your face burned, reminding you of all the times you thought how attractive your best friend is but forcing you to distract yourself with something else. "Yes… you understand me so well that sometimes I still can't believe it. I'm sorry if I say weird things, but you really make me very happy" you said smiling "a long time ago I felt bad and I thought a lot about things that worried me but every time I spend more time with you that anguish goes away…" "And what is it that worries you?" he asked, wanting to know more about you to be able to help you

"It's silly, but… I thought a lot about the consequences of my difficulty to be with people. Sometimes I imagined dying alone or things like that" you laughed embarrassed. Although you were referring more to a couple's company, Kenji had managed to calm the anxiety you had anyway, but you never thought about him seeing you as something more. He is quite affectionate with you, but something more direct would have had to happen for you to realize what he feels for you. "Come on, don't think about it. No matter how far away we are, busy or tired, I'll always be with you, okay? For whatever you need…" "Me too…" you told him, smiling. Kenji pulled you closer to him and both of you were in a soft hug that made your heartbeats and his accelerate.

The moment you let your face rest on his chest and felt yourself surrounded by his hands, an inexplicable warmth flooded your entire being, making you sigh and for some reason stirring up the feelings until you wanted to cry, but not from sadness. You knew that if you were with him everything would always be okay and you wanted to prolong that for as long as possible. Even your whole life, if there was any chance. “You mean so much to me,” he told you, in a low voice near your ear. “You do too, everything, actually.” You answered, putting a smile on his lips and butterflies in his stomach.

The conversation between the two of you changed to more random topics and some jokes between you. However, the way your eyes sparkled when you saw him was different, as if this tender and sincere moment had helped you realize what he truly makes you feel. As the night progressed, you both decided to return to your room, to say good night and rest. You went to bed, the sheets were really comfortable and the softness of the pillows and mattress was unique but despite that you couldn't manage to fall asleep even if you tried. You could feel the weight on your head of having unlocked millions of repressed feelings and thoughts freeing themselves inside you, not knowing what to do or how to act in this new situation. You were lying on the bed, you turned around to get comfortable and you saw him asleep, in the bed in front of you on the other side of the room.

The light was dim coming in through the window but enough for you to appreciate the features of his face perfectly. Did he always have the habit of sleeping without a shirt or did he do it on purpose? You were afraid that he could hear your thoughts as they were so loud inside your head. Eventually you fell asleep, thinking about him. The next day you felt strange, but not in an unpleasant way but as if you felt more nervous, always thinking, do I look pretty? looking at him from time to time with the excuse of seeing something about him, whether or not he had his sunglasses on or what color shirt he was wearing. When he caught you looking at him he smiled at you making you feel embarrassed, using the poor quality of your sunscreen as an excuse in case he happened to notice the blush on your cheeks more than once.

When you both spent some time in the pool it was much worse, you felt the need to see him but acting normal got in the way of your goals. You wanted to hug him and somehow be able to hold his hand so that everyone who saw you together would assume you were a couple. He is open-minded, would he see it as something strange if you dared to do it? Your heart jumped in doubt but again, you decided to let it go for fear of having a moment of embarrassment in front of him. The sunset was beginning to paint the environment a soft pink, he helped you pack your things and carry your suitcases to the car to return to the city. A slight nostalgia filled your chest at having to leave this place, where you had experienced something beautiful with him. A small idea of being able to visit it again and fulfill your wish of walking together hand in hand this time crossed your mind before getting into the car.

The clouds were getting darker on the way, touches of lilac and blue in the sky by the time he was at the entrance of your house opening the car door for you to get out and then the trunk to give you your things. You watched him greet your parents in the living room of your house, both excited to see you two return happily, thanking him for how attentive and thoughtful he was with you always. Seeing the interaction with your family gave you a strong desire to imagine their reactions to the news of you two being a formal couple, that that idea would come to stay in reality but your bubble burst when he suddenly hugged you and said goodbye to you to go back to his house, leaving you with a bittersweet smile on your face, thanking him again for everything he did for you.

And once again you were in your room, staring at the ceiling unable to sleep and when you turned to the side you couldn't see his face like the night before. That your sight collided only with your things in their usual place felt heavy on your chest. What if I tell him? You thought, afraid of ruining your friendship you hid under a stupid excuse of telling him as a way to vent how you felt to someone you trusted instead of a direct confession of your love for him, hoping that deep down you would reciprocate. You thought about this throughout the day as you recognized affectionate gestures from him towards you that left you thinking. The need was felt in each of your heartbeats hoping to be able to talk to him properly tomorrow but time seemed eternal.

You threw the covers off of you and changed your clothes, grabbing a coat and your car keys before leaving the house, to start the vehicle and drive to his house which by the way, was incredibly far from yours, which was an immense relief to see it in the distance as you began to approach until you went up and parked in his driveway. You called him when you got out of the car, expecting him to answer his phone, but when you got to the door, he was already there, having been notified by Mina that you were parking in his driveway. Things unrelated to what was going through your head made him wonder why you were here. Did you forget something in his car? Or did he pack his stuff in your suitcase by mistake? Maybe an emergency had come up? He hoped not. It was almost 11 pm, he usually stays up late sometimes, but he was surprised that you had come here instead of calling or texting him.

“Hey, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” He asked. You quickly said yes, even stopping him from letting you in before you spoke, so as not to lose the momentum that made you come here now.

"Kenji, I… you should know something" your words made him tense but he didn't take his gaze and attention off of you, nervous about what you might say. "These days I realized something extremely important and maybe you'll think it may be stupid or too soon but believe me I've never felt so sure of something, what I want… I know what I want…"

"And what do you want?" he asked, waiting for your answer, with his pulse racing as you approached him.

"You" you said without thinking, maybe deep down regretting having been so direct but it was all or nothing. "I love you Kenji… more than you think, more than just my best friend…"

He was speechless, looking at you in amazement and unable to believe it, he didn't think something so good could happen to him, something he had dreamed of so many times until he found it as something meaningless incapable of coming true. "Of course it's not stupid at all" he told you, approaching you. "Because I feel the same way about you…" you didn’t see his answer coming, his declaration, you felt yourself melting when he took your face with both hands. Your eyes were moistened by so many emotions. "I’ve always felt this way, you’re everything I want, everything I never thought I needed so much. And suddenly it’s been almost two years since I realized how much I’ve been loving you, afraid of ruining things…"

"Two years?" you asked him, with amazement in your voice. You felt like you were almost going crazy these days without being able to show him your affection completely. You couldn’t imagine how frustrating it was for him to keep everything he felt for so long.

"Kenji…" You took his face and caressed it, the distance between you both shortened more and more and without realizing it you let your lips find his to join in a kiss. It was what you had both wanted so much, you could feel all his love and you just hoped that you weren’t too nervous to not be able to show it too.

His lips were warm and soft, his heart leapt with happiness at being able to live this moment after so much, happy to be able to express himself without fear and amazed to receive your confession first in an unexpected way. "I love you, I love you so much���" he answered, kissing your forehead while you kept his hands on your face, taking them carefully.

Now you agreed to go to his house, having too many things to talk about, but now that you could hug him and hold his hand it would be easier for both of you.

[dnpbeats]

Why I Don’t Think the Secret Project™ Is a Tour—This Time With Facts!

Let me start out by saying I do think they’ve brought up another tour enough that it will happen at some point, I just don’t think it will be this soon! (Also keep in mind Dan did imply there are two things coming up in his Tweet.) That being said, obviously I could be totally wrong. But hey, if they do announce a tour in a couple of weeks, there has to be someone that gets clowned by the announcement, and I’m happy to take the fall <3 Post under cut as it's long (1.3k words 💀)

The main reason I don’t think they’re announcing a tour is timing, but I do also have something to say about the hints they’ve been dropping and why I also don’t think it necessarily points towards a tour. So, to start, let’s look at how long they spent planning TATINOF and II. In “The Making of TABINOF,” Phil says they are releasing the book (on October 8th 2015) after working on it for a year and a half, which would be April 2014. Presumably, this is around the time they started working on TATINOF as well because they were supposed to be companions. TABINOF and TATINOF were announced together on March 26th 2015, so almost exactly a year after they started planning them. Even if you want to guess that TATINOF planning started a few months after TABINOF planning, keep in mind that they originally only planned the UK leg and planned the US tour after that. The UK leg ended November 15 2015 and they announced the US leg February 26 2016. So that’s a little over two months of them planning the US leg alone, when they already had the show itself all sorted.

With II, we know they were actively planning it for about a year. Phil follows that up to say they planned it for “the majority of this year [2018],” so let’s just call it 10-11 months. More so than that, Dan said that they realized they wanted to do a second tour “halfway through” TATINOF, which in my best guess places that decision around summer 2016. This means they seriously considered doing a second tour for ~6 months before they even started planning it. 

Now, if the new project coming up is a tour, they’ve only been working on it for 6 months max. They only brought back the gaming channel 7 months ago, and we know from the end of Dan’s bday live stream that they didn’t start working on this project until they realized how many people still liked their content: “We were so shocked about how much people care about this light entertainment, sat-in-this-chair-ass content. [...] It took us by such surprise, and now we’re like, where is this going. [...] It was supposed to be a ‘let’s just do this for a bit and see what happens.’ [...] So now we find ourselves going, well okay, this channel, this content, the people, the future of it. What else are we gonna do? 'Cause it seems like there's a thing here.” 

So it’s up to you to decide when they realized that, but I think it was probably sometime in November at the absolute earliest, and then they still needed time after that to decide what they’re going to do, and then actually plan it. (And honestly, I doubt they started actively planning anything in December during gamingmas, but you never know!! Also like I said in my original post about this, Dan was still doing WAD stuff up until February and then some book promo stuff after that, so he was busy with that as well.)

So, that’s all to say, I really don’t think they’ve had time to plan an entire tour. At the very least, not a world tour, but I don’t know if they’d announce a UK-only leg and plan the worldwide tour later based on what they said about choosing to plan II all at once, rather than the split up way they did with TATINOF (also keep in mind that Dan announced WAD all at once, like d&p did with II). Idk I just don’t think they’d announce a tour without having it all planned!

Okay, so, besides the random hints that they’re busy planning something, we also have Phil’s comment about saving money in his Cactus Club post. He wrote “I also just wanted to make your cactus a lil more affordable as Dan and I get busy on what is …. next… ??” Now while this seems to imply saving up for something (hence why the membership needs to be affordable), he doesn’t outright say that. Then in his Q&A vid, he answers a question about what he’s cooking that specifically asks, “Should I save my money?” And interestingly, Phil doesn’t address the money part of the question. Now maybe he just couldn’t say anything about saving money, maybe it would've been too on-the-nose. But I’m also sure plenty of other people asked that question without asking about saving, which means he chose to specifically ignore that part. To me, it seems kinda weird to outright exclude that if the project is something people will have to pay a lot of money upfront for (i.e. tour tickets), but again that’s just my opinion.

(Also just a secondary note on Phil’s answer—he actually says, “Look, I can neither confirm nor deny something might happen in the next month.” I find the phrasing he chose really interesting. He didn’t say an announcement was coming, he said something was going to happen. Dan also never explicitly said to look forward to an “announcement,” he just said they’ve been cooking and to give it a couple of weeks. Obviously this could all mean nothing and maybe it is an announcement (whether it be for a tour or something else), but I actually think whatever the project is might be getting released not just announced. But idk!)

A moment of me speculating based on vibes (that also negates the note I just made about this potentially being a release rather than an announcement): part of me thinks this project might be something/similar to something they tried to get off the ground before but then never came to fruition! This gifset by @reunitedinterlude got me thinking about projects that they didn’t get to do for various reasons (namely COVID lol). I think one of these (either one of Phil’s ideas that he’s now brought Dan onto, or something they were trying to do together from the get go) would actually make a lot of sense for what’s getting announced. It would be something that they had already started work on, so it doesn’t take as much planning as something brand new, meaning it could be announced sooner. Additionally, I just feel like they’ve been so vague about what’s coming up, but they’ve also been super excited! They seem really proud about whatever they’ve been cooking. While I obviously think they’d be excited to do another world tour, part of me just feels like they might be this excited because it’s something new that they’ve never done before. Also, if it’s some kind of game show type thing, it would make sense that Dan said the project is a “celebration” of the gaming channel. But again this is just based on vibes lol.

In conclusion, I do think we’ll get a third Dan and Phil tour, I just don’t think it’s what’s getting announced(/released?) in the coming weeks. But I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the next thing they announce after whatever this upcoming thing is! If you think I’m dead wrong and actually other people have planned world tours in <6 months please let me know, I’m happy to be proven wrong bc I would love another tour :)

[scp035sdiscordkitten]

In the SCP sedition tapes, 049 talks about an ex-apprentice Jolanda. I never really thought about her until a couple months ago, and now I'm OBSESSED WITH HER. I've written so much lore about her in my AU of the sedition tapes when all I've had to go off her was 3 minutes of 049 speaking about her. And now, since I am attached to her, I ask of you to please take 049 being a Father lore. This post specifically is about her childhood and centers around her relationship with 049. Her adulthood will have it's own separate post, and is also more heavily influenced by 035. 0-6 Years: The only child to an immigrant couple in Europe. Her childhood is fuzzy, but fine. Sickly, impoverished, and dirty, but fine. The town she lived in was large, so it was a prime target when war broke out. Her village was attacked. Everyone but her died, whether it was by murder, burning to death in the fires, or smoke inhalation, they were dead. 049 had been following closely behind the attacking armies to ensure 035 wouldn't track him down, as 035 was stalking 049 through Europe at this time, and after every raid there would also be fresh bodies to experiment on. 049 found Jolanda in the remnants of her families home. She was uninjured, but absolutely distraught mentally. 049, out of pity, took her under his wing as his apprentice 6-12 Years: Jolanda bonded to him like a duckling. She was always at his side and looked up to him. 049 was hesitant at first, only caring for her out of necessity. But the more he taught her, the more genuine love he felt for her. She was a child prodigy, and took to the craft of medicine and the pestilence as if it was in her nature. His mentor role soon turned fatherly, even though he never wanted to and never knew how to be one. For the sake of Jolanda, he learned. They travelled side by side, 049 teaching her how to spot and cure the pestilence, but also how to go about life. She considered him her father, and she his daughter, though it was always unspoken. They referred to each other by name, they didn't have to say it to know. In these years, 049 also warned her about 035, showing her drawings and telling her tales about the shit he's caused. He knew 035 would be back at any moment, and Jolanda would be his first target if he found her.

12-16 Years: Around this time, Jolanda began to develop survivors guilt for the attack on her home. She couldn't remember her family as vividly as she used to and she felt horrible, especially with how quickly she got over her fathers death and clung to 049. She confided in 049 about this, and he'd comfort her, but also feel bad. Like there was something more he could have done to save her father or that he shouldn't have stepped into that role in the first place. This put distance between them for a bit, having shame on both sides, but they were able to recover after so many talks and time away from the medical table spent together. 16-18 Years: Smooth sailing, best father daughter duo you've ever seen!! 18-21 Years: Jolanda had begun to expand her circle. Making friends, falling in love, all that fun stuff. 049 however believed she had grown uninterested in curing the Pestilence. That she would, as all his other apprentices had, go on to cure broken bones and sore throats. He told her about his growing disappointment that she wasn't spending more time studying the pestilence, which caused her to sneak out and be more curt with him. She felt unwanted and disheartened. She still believed in the pestilence and wanted to cure it, but 049 didn't seem to see that, did he. 049s old delusions were coming back to him, even though 035 had lost his track long ago. He would see 035 in the corner of his eye, or hear those whispers when he was totally alone. He and Jolanda had to keep travelling, but she didn't want to, she had now formed a community. Resentment built and built between the two of them, even though 049 tried to fix it, and it all came crashing down when 049 kidnapped the pestilence infested boyfriend of Jolanda's lady crush, tied him up, and pressured Jolanda into curing him. Jolanda jumped in to defend the guy, putting herself between 049 and him. 049s delusions came back harder than ever, and it was a blur after that, but when he came to his senses, Jolanda was half dead. He had cured her, basically killing her in the process. Out of shock, horror, and shame, he cast her into the snow and left her for dead, immediately returning to his endless run through Europe to cure the pestilence. Nothing could wash off the guilt he now bore, and it drove him even further into insanity. After being cast into the snow and abandoned, Jolanda should've died. But she didn't. Her conscious was still intact, even after having the cure inflicted on her. Half of her body was beginning to rot, and she had intense urges to find and kill anything that moved, like every other carcass 049 cured felt. But Jolanda kept it within, and she turned that urge into the need for revenge. Ty for reading I hope my yapping was enjoyed 🫶🫶🫶like I said, her adulthood will get its own post, but lord knows when that'll be.

[avelera]

do you think the amount of time jayce spent in the cave was necessary? I know a lot of people share the sentiment that jayce needed to be humbled & that it was needed for him to fully grasp how close his world was to an at least 300 year long apocalypse, but isn't total isolation one of the most damaging things to the human psyche 😭 what good would've jayce been if he ended up taking extra time to set his leg or build the brace and went crazy as a result

I think it's an absurd question? These are fictional characters navigating a narrative.

But the question really has two answers:

Doylist / Out of Universe - Yes, Jayce needed some sort of humbling moment. He made a lot of mistakes in S1 and arguably going into Act 3 where the main villain of the whole show was the result of his innovation of Hextech, which he was told repeatedly not to do by wiser characters, he needed something dramatic going into that act to justify him turning against it.

The way Jayce was forced to face his past mistakes, grow, have a long night of the soul, and return reforged to face the final challenge could have taken many forms, sure, but this one was very effective. He's also, like, not a real person so it's not like a real person was getting hurt here, bruh. A principle of screen writing is tearing characters down to their bare essence before building them back up again, which that stint in the cave did expertly for Jayce.

Watsonian / In-Universe - If we pose Wizard Viktor as the author of Jayce's suffering and that after seeing all timelines and all possibilities, he knew this was the only way for him to stop Viktor, then Jayce needed to be able to tell Viktor:

"You're perfect as you are, and I choose you, not out of a rosy view of you but out of as full an understanding as a person who loves you possibly can if they come into this knowledge as an adult, after undergoing 3-6 months of absolute Hell in which I gained a limp and need for a leg brace, gained what is possibly a terminal illness, and had to both literally and symbolically climb my way out of the depths of the undercity, alone, in order to reach the highest point of Piltover and my own salvation."

Without that suffering, Jayce's words would have rang hollow. I'm sure in every other universe, we can assume Wizard Viktor tried to spare Jayce going through that and as a result, Jayce couldn't really get through to his Viktor because he couldn't truly understand him and everything he's been through, all the suffering he's endured.

If we trust the in-universe narrative, then anything less than what Jayce went through wouldn't have been enough to save the world.

[dcdreamblog]

I am so sorry to hear of Joan Garrick's passing. It puts me in mind of a question I have been thinking of asking.

I'm glad that Mrs. Garrick got to meet and say goodbye to her daughter, known as the Boom to the public, before her death. A daughter the world, and she herself had forgotten.(As an aside, let me thank the Boom for adding some new variety to the Flash family naming conventions. I swear only the Green Lanterns give you less, where they are all simply Green Lantern, unless they reveal their real names)

As a historian, how does it make you feel to know how much as actually been ripped out of the public's minds?

The first Flash had a daughter! Sidekicks were even more common than thought, with heroes like the Red Bee, Mister Terrific and Miss America just a few additional ones having them! The Soviet Union made a counterpart to the Green Lantern! And if rumors of this guy raging are true he was connected to the emotional spectrum?! Unless I totally misunderstand his powers compared to the other GLs; which is easily possible, Alan Scott isn't even tied to the emotional spectrum!(Is he?) He's connected to some experiment to move away from that?

It's amazing how much was there and was just stripped away.

As we stare down a new year I find myself thinking on this ask like I'm starring into a whiskey glass.

(A photograph of the "Lost Children" taken upon their recovery from Orphan Island by the Justice Society) Some of these faces I'm know all my life. Wing, Dan the Dyna Mite, Boy Blue. But like you said the others it's like...it's like they just appeared, out of thin air. And yet there's this clawing at the back of my mind whenever I look at them. I know I don't know them. But...don't I? Their names are like...fire ants on the tip of my tongue. ...some heroes, when dealing with time travel will describe the disorientation of the world...pivoting around you. Like the odd moment before you wake up when you can feel the sun on your eyelids but the dream is still playing. But you never wake up. The moment goes on, and on, and on. Things you KNOW to be true projected before your eyes against the backdrop of their own contradiction. I still own my college superhero encyclopedias (I certainly paid enough for them). I know every entry in them back to front, I KNOW which of these young men and women I've seen before. But I open it up and...

(A photograph of my 5 year old textbook. The page is worn and dog earned. There's...there's a sticky note with my handwriting in the margin)

I skimmed the page. I skimmed it. I knew every ounce of information on it the instant before I read. I'd memorized it, years ago, of course I had it was in the book. The sticky note is marking a citation I needed for a paper I did on the sidekicks of the Freedom Fighters. But the Freedom Fighters didn't have any sidekicks. All three of them. None of them. I know them...I've never seen them before in my life...

I feel like I'm losing my mind...

A dozen blank spots in my old class notes are now filled with scribbles I know have always-never been there.

I go into work...the archives are full of artifacts. Serial numbered, shelved and put neatly in drawers. Like I've spent weeks, months just...glazing my eyes over them and picking up the artifact next to it. It's stupid, of course they've always been here...then why haven't I catalogued a single one? Random gaps in my filings. Artifact 1, 2, 3. Except it was actually Artifact 1, 3, 7 that I picked out in random order because Artifacts 2, 4, 5 and 6 are for sidekicks I remember not remembering.

And then it hits me.

The guilt. Oh god the guilt.

These kids were lost, for so long. Scared. Alone. Forgotten. Their stories were right here in my hands and I just glossed over them. I know they've been here the whole time. I know they've never been here before. ...I can't shake the weight that if I had just focused, looked down at the right time I would have caught it. Like something in the corner of my eye in the dark.

I swear I didn't mean to forget them. ...I swear I didn't mean it...

[pollymorgan]

Ex-husband Negan Part 1

Warnings: Negan is a total asshole, but hot!

When I first saw Negan, almost exactly 29 years ago, I had no idea what important role he would play in my life. I was just a naive girl, instantly infatuated with this rebellious, outspoken, handsome motorcyclist who didn't follow any rules and did his own thing. Just a few days after that first meeting, he became my first serious boyfriend.

Love is blind, they say, and that certainly applied to me. I put up with all his mistakes, lies, and escapades for three whole years until I finally had enough and ended things. The pain and disappointment overshadowed my life for a long time. But if you think you learn from your mistakes, then you don't know me. When I was in my late twenties, this guy had drawn me back in and even convinced me to marry him.

Had he changed? Not at all! Despite his constant assurances. But maybe he simply can't help it. Negan remains Negan. In the cursed seventh year, I couldn't take it anymore and filed for divorce. Not because I didn't love him anymore, in fact quite the opposite, but the disappointments were just too much to bear.

Despite everything, he had given me the most precious and wonderful gift in my - our life. Our two babies. Gracie and Lizzie. And that fact alone will probably never truly separate us.

The two of them are no longer little, though, but 11 and 17 years old. And my ex-husband is the best father i could imagine. It seems like he wants to make up for all the mistakes he made with me through them.

They love their father more than anything, and that alone makes me incredibly happy. That's why I can't hate him, even though I have pretty good reasons to.

Just now, the three of them spent the last weeks of summer vacation in a cabin in the mountains. The fact that my media-crazed girls wanted to spend their free time fishing, swimming, and hiking, all without cell phone reception, fascinated me immensely. They probably would have thought I was crazy if I had made that suggestion to them.

It was strange not having my daughters in the house, but I also enjoyed the peace a little. It had been quiet around me for a long time.

My new partner, an architect from the office where I work, and I had been arguing more and more in recent months. Last week, it even escalated to the point where he moved into a hotel. Fortunately, Gracie and Lizzie weren't home.

I wanted this relationship to work so badly, but apparently it was doomed to fail. Steve is the complete opposite of Negan - calm, down-to-earth, perhaps even a bit boring, but I thought that after everything I had been through, that's exactly what I needed.

Ironically, what I constantly accuse Negan of, that he can never maintain a long-term relationship, unfortunately seems to apply to me as well.

But today, I tried to push my worries aside because my daughters were returning from their vacation, and I was looking forward to being able to hold them in my arms again after two weeks.

I was just about to put their favorite casserole in the oven when my phone rang.

"Gracie, my darling!" I almost shouted into the receiver.

"Hello Mom, we're on our way back now!" she replied.

"When will you be here? ... Dinner won't be ready for another hour.."

"Dad, how much longer do we have to drive?" I heard her ask.

When I heard Negan's response faintly in the background, my expression hardened and I looked at the clock in shock.

"Another 5 hours???" I asked incredulously.

It was almost 6 PM and school started tomorrow. Negan had promised me that they would be back in time for dinner.

"Sweetheart, can you please give me your father on the phone..." I spoke as calmly as I could into the receiver, and Gracie immediately handed the phone over.

"Hello, my beautiful..." he said with his unmistakable, deep voice that still gave me goosebumps after all these years.

At his words, I couldn't help but smile, even though I wasn't really in the mood for it.

"Negan, damn it, you promised to be back for dinner, the kids have to go back to school early tomorrow morning.." I said seriously.

I heard an irritated grunt from him, then he replied, "I didn't know that you bourgeois have dinner promptly at 6, but now seriously... our girls wanted to see a waterfall, and you know I can't deny them any wishes. I'll bring them home safely, I promise."

"I know..." I whispered into the receiver and then emphasized louder, "...but that's not the point!"

After the call, I turned off the oven in exasperation and sat down in front of the TV with a glass of red wine, trying to distract myself with some silly soap opera to prevent my anger from escalating even further, but it wasn't really working.

"It's okay, nothing happened, they're just coming home a bit later," I tried to reassure myself, cursing Negan inwardly. He broke every promise he made to me with such ease.

The hands of the clock seemed to stand still, or at least that's how it felt to me. Time passed agonizingly slowly. I started preparing everything for Lizzie's school day tomorrow. She would be so tired in the morning, and I already felt sorry for her.

By 10 PM, I was standing by the window, staring out into the dark night, while the table was set and dinner was ready. After what felt like an eternity, the car finally pulled up with my family.

My two girls jumped out of the car beaming with joy, and that dashed any hope I had that they might have slept a little during the drive.

I immediately opened the front door, and Lizzie ran into my arms.

"Mama, I caught the biggest fish of all..." she shouted from a distance.

"That's amazing, did you have a lot of fun?" I asked her, holding her tightly in my arms, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair.

"It was the coolest vacation ever!!!" she said convincingly and then rushed into the house. My eldest approached me more slowly, but she too had a big grin on her face. Gracie had inherited her father's smile and knew exactly how to get away with everything with me. She had to use it quite often, considering she also inherited Negan's temper. I pulled her into my arms as well and was once again taken aback by how grown she had become. There wasn't much left of my little girl; she already seemed so mature.

"It was really cool, Mom," she said coolly.

Then my gaze fell on Negan. Damn, after all these years, just seeing him made my heart beat faster. With my arms crossed, I tried to glare at him as menacingly as possible, but he just smiled and planted a way too long kiss on my cheek.

The smell of his aftershave and the feeling of his lips on my skin took my breath away for a few seconds. I quickly composed myself and swallowed hard.

As he tried to enter the house as if it were the most natural thing in the world, I stood provocatively in his way.

"Thanks, Negan! Have a good night, get home safely..." I said.

Lizzie came running back immediately. You could hear her running on the parquet floor from a distance.

"Can't Dad eat with us?" she asked, completely excited.

"It's already late, my dear..." I replied firmly, ruffling her hair, but not breaking eye contact with Negan.

"Is Stevieboy projecting his jealousy again, or why can't I even take a damn step into my family's house?" he asked, slightly amused.

Shocked, I looked at him. I was used to his remarks, but claiming something like that in front of our youngest daughter shocked even me.

"My husband isn't here... he's on a business trip!" I lied.

"Husband? If anything, he's more like your friend, or rather your companion for this phase of life..." Negan corrected me provocatively, underlining his statement with another grin.

Gracie returned to the door as well. "Dad drove forever, can't we eat together at least? We can show you some really cool pictures. Dad bought us a really awesome DSLR camera..."

I bit my tongue to stop myself from commenting on his unnecessary expenses. How many times had we argued about his inability to handle money in the past? But unlike him, I didn't want to say such things in front of our children. So, I reluctantly stepped aside and gestured for him to come into the house.

During dinner, everyone was talking at once, sharing the wildest stories from their trip. Both my daughters definitely inherited their tendency to exaggerate their stories from their father. But just like him, they always made me laugh with their tales. So, I even shed a few tears of joy as they recounted every detail to me. I felt Negan watching me the whole time, when he wasn't putting on his black-rimmed glasses to find the right picture to match the current anecdote on his camera.

Mid-conversation, Gracie suddenly jumped up as her phone vibrated, "It's David finally...." She ran out of the room with a big smile on her face.

"We won't be seeing her tonight..." I stated, wiping a few tears from the corner of my eye that I had shed while laughing.

"Oh, David... that guy doesn't sit well with me at all..." Negan observed seriously, looking at me somewhat perplexed.

"May I remind you that our daughter hasn't been a little girl for a long time... she's 17!" I chuckled at the fact that it seemed to genuinely bother him.

"David is her boyfriend..." Lizzie chimed into the conversation.

"Sweets, promise me that at least you won't bring a boyfriend home, okay?" Negan addressed our youngest.

"That's nonsense, your mom was 16 when she met your dad... even a year younger than your sister now..." I explained to her.

"That's exactly why this whole thing worries me so much..." Negan cut me off, and as I looked at him, I couldn't help but think back to the night I lost my innocence to this guy. Everything was so perfect back then. I know not many women can say that about their first time. But even though we were both so young, Negan was so tender and considerate with me, yet so confident that he dispelled all my insecurities. And that night was just the beginning of many more, even better... Lost in thought, I bit my lip until Lizzie's words snapped me out of my reverie.

"Can Daddy tuck me in, pleeease...?" she asked.

Smiling, I kissed her forehead. "Yes, of course..."

After everyone had gone upstairs, I started clearing the table, taking my time. I slowly washed the large casserole dish and then loaded the rest into the dishwasher.

"Is anyone checking out this perfect ass?!"

Negan's voice made me jump. I hadn't heard him approach, and as I turned to face him, he was pouring two glasses of red wine as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

I had to process the shock for a moment, then I made a dismissive gesture with my hands as he approached me.

"You should leave, it's late... way too late..." I said as convincingly as I could.

The tall man stopped right in front of me and wordlessly handed me one of the glasses. I knew the sparkle in his hazel eyes all too well, and it made my knees weak.

For a while, he just looked into my eyes, then he gently caressed my bare upper arm with his fingertips. Goosebumps formed where he touched me tenderly.

"You were thinking about our first time earlier, weren't you? I could see it in your beautiful eyes..." he whispered softly, while his gaze roamed unabashedly over my body.

I swallowed hard and then looked at him feigning surprise. "No, I don't know what you're talking about..." Why could he still read me like an open book after all this time?

Instead of protesting, he smiled knowingly.

I needed to get away! Away from this situation that always led to the same thing. Determined, I took a big sip of wine and went straight to the small table in the other corner of the kitchen. I needed to create as much space between us as possible to be able to think a bit clearer.

I had left my cigarettes there earlier when I smoked one on the terrace while waiting. Now I took one out of the pack and lit it, leaning against one of the stools.

Steve had strictly forbidden smoking in the house, he didn't like it at all when I did, so I usually smoked secretly behind the shed in the garden. But right now, I didn't care. Steve wasn't here, only Negan, trying to ensnare me in his web once again, as he had done hundreds of times before.

"What's all this about, Negan? Do you need that reassurance to be able to get me into bed?" I asked directly.

Surprised, he looked at me, "Who's talking about me trying to get you into bed? You have quite the wild imagination, that's what I've always loved about you. ... That you were thinking about back then earlier was just an observation, my dear..."

Once again, he came directly towards me. I felt like prey caught in a trap. When he stood in front of me, I automatically spread my legs slightly so he could squeeze between them. I looked up at him, and without breaking eye contact, he took the cigarette from my hand, took a deep drag, and then tossed the rest into the last gulp of his red wine, causing a brief sizzling sound. Only a moment later did he exhale the smoke.

"Damn, you just keep getting more beautiful," he whispered, taking my chin between his fingers.

As often before, I just let it happen. Then he gently stroked my lips with his thumbs, and I tasted his slightly rough skin. It sent little jolts directly to my core, making me nervously shift back and forth on my stool.

"Do you often think about how it feels when I touch you, my sweet? What it's like when my lips explore this perfect body..." he asked in a deep voice, and I could only nod slightly. But then I tried to gather myself again. Gently, but firmly, I pushed his hand away from me and then said, "But it won't happen again, Negan. I can't make the same mistake over and over again..."

[kakerutori]

HEYYYY HANA! It's me olive/livy/ hey you/ that one person that always joins your lives I had a recent interaction with a more toxic mileven shipper but they said something that really did make me think so I want your thoughts in their words they said "mileven has been cannon for 8 years now why would they end it all at once" they had said this in the middle of a debate and it really got my thinking like would the duffers really end a relationship that has been built on for 8 years for byler? Plz lemme know what you think

OMG HI YOU 🤭 I’d be delighted to give my two cents, thanks for coming to me, Olive!!

Ah, yes. The age old argument of ‘why would the Duffers break up Mleven after building them up all this time?’ To which I say - what build up does one truly speak of? Yes, they’ve been canon romantic from season 1 since that kiss, technically, but their relationship only became truly canon since season 3. And yes, the show has been in production for about 8 years, but the show spans only about 3 years (1983-1986). Even then, to say that Mleven has been canon for that long just isn’t true. In total, they’ve only spent about 6 months together physically in canon (the fall, spring, and, summer of 1985 just before season 3 starts), and 6 months together long-distance (the summer, fall, and spring of 1986).

Point is, they’ve not been together as long as it seems. They’ve expressed interest from the start, but even then, on El’s side, it’s pretty debatable to me.

Take this scene where El literally asks Mike, “will you be like my brother?” I think I can just leave that there as it is.

Now, I do understand the notion that they’ve been in writing for 8 years. But guess who else have been? Mike and Will. Their relationship is just as if not more important to each other’s growths as characters, especially in season 4.

If you’re looking for canon relationships, look no further than Mike and Will’s friendship. If you need to see clear pictures of encouragement, understanding, and amendment, look no further than everything they’ve done for each other over the years.

All in all, I believe that just because you aren’t directly in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that the current chemistry is void and only counts when you do get together.

Byler have chemistry, that’s why I think that they could easily get together. And by contrast, Mleven don’t. Throughout the seasons that Mike and El have been together, it’s been a struggle for them to connect. Whenever they do, it’s shallow. Take the reunion in season 4 - El is lying to Mike about being friends with Angela, and Mike is lying to El through his split focus on Will (when he complains about Will “rolling [his] eyes,” “moping,” “basically [sabotaging] the whole day”).

Mike is clearly affectionate to El, but he consistently dotes on her looks and never her character beyond her powers. El is clearly affectionate to Mike, too, but it’s clear to me that any time she reaches out to Mike, wrote to him, tried to talk to him in the void, anything, he just couldn’t seem to reach her in return.

Meanwhile, we have Byler promising to go “crazy together.” They sit and listen to each other. Meeting Will is “the best thing that [Mike has] ever done.” Mike thereafter in that scene talks about Will’s persistence. And we know that Will thinks of Mike as a leader, “guiding, inspiring.” Not only are they affectionate to each other, they’re comfortable expressing themselves around each other, highlighting each other’s positive traits, encouraging, supporting, connecting.

Need some people be reminded that filmwork is essential to TV, and so canonically Mike and Will also have many moments together. It’s not like their relationship isn’t known to us in canon (let alone blocked very specifically, too!).

So yeah, to that statement of “Mleven has been canon for 8 years now” so “why would they end it all at once” I say: it’s only been two years maximum in canon, and they’ve been founded on a deteriorating relationship with another much stronger one right in our faces, so no, yeah, Byler is very possible and wouldn’t be sudden in the slightest.

[eqt-95]

a new kind of romance, pt 7

part 6 | cuddles - - - -

🎁 | mistletoe magic

“Ooh, look she’s doing it again.”

“Doing what?” Kara asked, shrugging off her jacket to join Nia and Brainy at a hightop laden with empty glasses.

“Mistletoe magic,” Nia sighed fondly.

“Mistletoe what-?” Kara glanced at Brainy who looked flush with a smudge of Nia’s shade of red on his own lips, and then her eyes tracked to Kelly and Alex two tables away giggling under the glowing branch of green leaves that glistened with the telltale golden sparks of magic. Of Lena’s magic. “Oh.”

She found the culprit loitering on the far end of the bar nursing a drink, smiling, and looking totally and completely huggable, and Kara’s mood immediately brightened. Not that it was sour: it was Al’s holiday party after all.

Kara’s natural reaction to seeing Lena was to superspeed over and engulf her into a super-sized hug and hope the burst of surprise and laughter would land quiet and private into the crook of her neck. 

She very nearly did exactly that except just as she was about to shift into sixth gear and race over Kara realized Lena wasn’t alone. More specifically, she was bookended by two people: Sam and... Andrea.

Which was… fine. Kara loved Sam and all the support she had for Lena. But Andrea? Kara was trying to find warmth for Andrea.

“How long has she been here?” Kara asked before the green-eyed monster could be swallowed down.

“Who?” Nia asked, distracted by a stuffed potato skin.

“No one," Kara blinked, brushing away imaginary crumbs from the table, "nothing. Forget it-”

“I believe Kara is referring to either Ms. Rojas or Ms. Arias,” Brainy interrupted, being all correct and stuff. Kara shot him a dark look that went missed because he was still trying to rub off remnants of lipstick.

“Oh, dunno,” Nia replied with a shrug. “I think they came together?”

“Sam and Andrea?” Kara asked for confirmation even though she definitely didn’t care.

“No, Andrea and Lena.”

“Oh. Sure. Right.”

Positively, absolutely, for sure wasn’t bothered by that.

“Why?” Kara asked nearly a minute later, interrupting a conversation she wasn’t listening to.

Nia paused mid-sentence and glanced at a very distraught-looking Kara. “Why what?”

“Why did they come together?”

“Who?”

“I believe Kara is referring to Ms. Rojas and-”

“Did they have a work meeting?” Kara interrupted, eyes jumping back toward Andrea who was far too cozy and far too close to Lena which was… fine. It was. It really was.

Nia’s mouth opened to respond. Then it closed. Then her eyes narrowed. Then they lifted. Then a smirk the size of the Nile spread across her face. “Why do you care?”

And Kara didn’t like the Nile-sized smile. She didn’t like it one bit. “No reason.”

“I dunno. Brainy, does she look a bit jealous to you?”

“I’m not-” Kara tried to cut in - whined, practically.

“Kara, you do look rather, as they say, ‘put-out’.”

“Does it have anything to do with Andrea subtly guiding Lena toward that mistletoe next to them-?”

“What? She isn’t-”

“Or are you just jealous Lena’s full attention is on her ex at all?”

Two things happened next: the first was that Kara fish-mouthed and blushed furiously because yea, obviously she was jealous. Who wouldn’t be jealous of someone getting Lena’s time. Not that Kara wanted to control her time or who she spent it with or…

And then the second thing happened. And that second thing was like an Acme anvil falling on her Wile E. Coyote state of confusion: she registered Nia's actual words.

“Her ex? Who’s ex? Sam’s ex? You… you mean Sam and Andrea, right? They’re exes?” 

Right? she shouted in her brain and maybe out loud.

The look on Nia’s face did not support this thesis because the look on Nia’s face was like she was looking at an alien, which technically Kara was, but ‘idioms’. 

“I don't know about Ms. Aria, but Ms. Rojas dated Lena for a number of years at boarding school,” Brainy confirmed and shattered Kara’s hopes and dreams and maybe her heart too just a little bit because at that exact moment Lena burst into laughter and Andrea looked so proud for being the source of said laughter and no, Kara’s eyes were not glowing red that would be preposterous but if they were it’s not like anyone would notice with all the colorful lights hung everywhere-

“Hey you know your eyes are glowing, right?” Nia asked before sucking up a bright purple drink from a tiny blue straw and smiling like the dang cheshire cat. 

Ok, so yea, maybe her eyes glowing red wasn’t, like, the greatest. 

“I need to get some food,” Kara mumbled, abandoning Brainy and Nia for the bar where M’gann was telling off a drunk Haverack wobbling on of his stool and J’onn was stepping up to intervene. Before his stony disposition could do its trick though, a tickle of gold flecks from overhead stalled the entire confrontation.

Kara wasn’t going to pout. She wouldn’t do that. She was a way calmer, cooler, collected-er kryptonian than that. 

What Kara was going to do though was lean against the bar and stare longingly at M’gann laughing when J’onn pointed to the glowing mistletoe that had not-so-subtly appeared above them.

The Haverack fell off his stool again, but that wasn’t what kept Kara’s attention.

“I’m sure M’gann is willing to share, darling.”

It wasn’t fair that Lena could make Kara jump and send her super calm, cool, collected demeanor catapulting out the nearest window with a little whisper. It also wasn’t fair that Lena was so so pretty leaning in next to her while wearing nothing more than a simple pair of jeans and sweater. A sweater that was too long in the arms and bunched at Lena’s wrists and made Kara want to pull her close and fly her home and wrap them both in a blanket for the rest of eternity.

Naturally Kara replied with a stammer and in a fit of indecision, she grabbed Lena's hand and also winked and then booped her head against Lena's shoulder.

Which was far from normal. It was because Lena was so pretty tonight.

But Lena was always pretty. She could make cardboard overalls look good. And sure, Kara had seen from a distance that she was just as jaw-dropping as ever, but seeing her up close? in Kara’s own space? where she could get lost in Lena’s soft pretty skin? where she could feel the piercing meant-only-for-her gaze and get all sorts of weak-kneed and breathless? where she could take in the perfect shampoo-perfumey-Lena mix that couldn’t be imitated because Kara, curious and missing Lena while she was off saving acquisitions and mergers once in Shanghai, had tried recreating the scent but failed? 

“I thought you weren’t going to make it. Duty calling and all that.”

“I’ve got one ear on the city, and deadlines can wait one more night,” Kara explained, trying to ignore the distraction that was Lena. Always Lena.

"Don't let Cat hear you say that," Lena smirked.

“Did I miss anything?”

“Just the usual: M’gann’s eggnog has half the bar dancing, though it looks like some hit it a bit too hard,” Lena said with a nod toward the passed-out Haverack, “and Nia is dragging Brainy under every green leaf in the place,” Lena chuckled. "Not sure whose going to tap out first."

“It sounds like someone is to blame for that ‘mistletoe magic’,” Kara replied, nudging Lena with her shoulder.

Lena hummed, her feigned ignorance betrayed by a revealing smirk. 

“Care for some?”

“S-some?” Kara choked, ears ringing.

“Mistletoe magic,” Lena explained slowly, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow arching with the elegance of a chandelier or an umbrella or hand-painted porcelain or-or… Kara didn’t know. She wasn’t thinking clearly.

Kara glanced across the bar toward Alex who was giving her a knowing stare and supportive smile that really looked more like a grimace mixed with nausea which meant only one thing: here it was, the chance. The chance Kara had spent minutes and hours and days pacing and hoping and yammering Alex’s ear off for. 

She had gone through every stage of fretting and panicking and unintentionally tearing her couch cushions in half before Kelly’s calmer touch gave her the confidence to believe in her own feelings and maybe - maybe - even Lena's.

Because that’s what Lena was implying now, right?

It was a frosting-covered finger. It was an intimately placed zipper. It was nonexistent personal boundaries that Kara wanted and wanted and wanted.

Now was the chance to put those feelings in motion. It was the perfect setting: holiday tunes were playing, lights were twinkling, the laughter and raucous of friends and family surrounded them. It couldn’t be any better, which was why Kara took a readying breath, propped herself against the bar in a way she hoped looked confident, and offered what Alex would later call the most manic-looking smile she’d ever seen.

“Well if it’s on the table…” Kara began bravely with a throat-clearing to steady herself, “uh, do I get to… er, you know,” she continued with the elegance of a newborn calf taking its first steps, “to pick?”

The wagging eyebrows probably didn’t help her efforts because she was met with a small Lena scowl that made Kara swallow and mutter some incoherent set of sounds and extend her finger toward the sprinkle of mistletoe hanging around the bar like Lena didn’t understand.

But then Lena said “oh” in this small sort of way that made Kara think that maybe Lena didn’t understand. So she clarified: 

“Put me in, coach!” Kara said, puffing up her chest with the kind of confidence reserved only for superheroes and poorly thought through actions.

And technically they were words. Maybe not the best words. Definitely not her best words. But together, it made a semi-coherent sentence that surely - definitely - made her intentions clear.

“Put you… in? I wasn’t… I meant-”

“You meant that since everyone else is… you know...” Kara said conspiratorially with a hand gesture that was meant to say everything else. “I don’t wanna miss out on that holiday spirit, right?”

“I didn’t, uh,” Lena began, a small cough and blush making her discomfort clear which made Kara want to hoover back those misguided intentions real fast and keep her dumb mouth shut. 

Then Lena’s scowl deepened to a version Kara wasn’t familiar with and definitely couldn’t identify which made Kara’s heart plummet. “Right, of course. Who did you-”

“I call dibs!” came an excited shout from behind Lena. 

And yea, maybe Kara should’ve been better at observing her surroundings because there was Sam. 

Who was standing on the other side of Lena. 

The whole time.

Not like it could be Kara’s fault though: Lena just had a way of making the rest of the world disappear. 

“Uh- '' Kara stammered because that technically - definitely - was not what she meant and having Sam sidekick her way through Kara’s ‘feelings’ reveal was not the chance she had pictured. But from the look of tempered frustration on Lena’s face, maybe she should be thanking Sam.

“Pucker up babes,” Sam said, dancing around Lena to split the two. “Lena, you don’t mind, right?” Sam asked, eyes bright and mischievous and far too excited for Kara’s waning courage.

“I don’t really think Kara needs my permission,” Lena replied with a tone that sounded… mad? Was Lena mad? 

“I meant the green leafy goods; get your magic hands moving, Luthor,” Sam said, jazz hands waving at her own sides.

“I-I'd only meant it for, uh, real couples-”

“Oh,” Kara answered while a ton of metaphorical bricks squeezed her chest empty of air and hope and confidence. 

Kara peered past Sam toward Lena who looked flush and annoyed and her jaw was clenched like a vice and, oh gosh, Kara had misread the whole situation. 

Maybe it wasn’t a frosting-covered finger or an intimately placed zipper or nonexistent personal boundaries that Kara wanted and wanted and wanted.

Maybe Kelly and Alex had talked her into a false sense of security. Maybe she had just barged in and ruined a perfectly good time. Had she just ruined a perfectly good friendship? Kara didn’t have an answer so instead she stared at the floor which was peppered with fallen mistletoe leaves and dirty napkins and cobwebs and… was that a ring?

“Oh relax, Lena. What’s the harm in a little-”

“Sam, enough-”

“I was kidding,” Kara practically shouted as an uncomfortable hand fidgeted with a pair of absent glasses. 

For having super hearing, Kara could only make out pin-drop silence, Sam’s shocked “what?” and Lena’s racing heartbeat.

“There isn’t, you know… I was just kidding. Can you imagine that? Supergirl kissing someone? Here? And-and besides, Lena’s right - you’re right,” Kara rambled, looking at her best friend who was decidedly not looking at her, “real couples only, and there isn’t, you know, anyone here who… uhm, yea.”

And then she forced a laugh because she wanted all of it to end.

It sort of did after that: 

Awkwardness ensued through silent sips and half-glances. Sam did her best to rope in the others, but Kara couldn’t shake the discomfort. 

Then Alex and Kelly offered their goodbyes - “babysitters are expensive!” - with Kara getting a tighter hug than usual from Alex that didn't make anything feel better.

Sam followed moments later with a matching reason and what looked like an apologetic smile - “minus the babysitter part. Ruby would skin me alive if I hired a babysitter. She already thinks she’s twenty.”

Nia, with Brainy in tow, made some excuse about needing to replace a lightbulb that no one believed because by then the color Nia’s lips had started the night with was now the color of Brainy's face, neck, and collar.

Which left Kara and Lena, and boy did Kara want to apologize for overstepping. Her fingers tapped on a bottle she didn’t remember getting while mustering the courage and bravery she thought she remembered having. She almost found it again.

Almost.

Except that’s the exact moment Kara realized it wasn’t just her and Lena, because Andrea picked that exact moment to reappear.

“Where’d everyone go?”

Lena said words and Kara nodded but didn’t hear. What she did hear was Andrea’s suggestion that they call it a night. Then she heard Andrea propose she and Lena share a cab - “we live two blocks apart, after all” - and within seconds had both jackets at the ready. 

Then Lena, who hadn’t said another word to Kara all night, looked briefly conflicted toward Kara before nodding.

“Goodnight, Kara.”

And then it did end. It ended without the right words or a hug and definitely not a kiss. It ended before it even began with Kara standing alone under a branch of forgotten mistletoe.

- - - - - - part 8 | new years

[certifiedposeidonhater]

PERCY JACKSON HEADCANONS PART 4!! 💙💙

1. He has a list of everyone he has ever hurt, or killed. Nico is second on the list, right next to Bianca. Sally is first.

2. He gets scared and triggered when he accidentally spills or breaks something, even when it’s only him in his cabin

3. He has a lot of quiet moments and flashback where he just remembers all the wars, everyone who died.

4. He has nightmares about Bianca and Nico, and about Beckendorf and Silena

5. Immediately zones out whenever someone starts to yell at him. He can’t control it his emotions just automatically turn off.

6. Gets numb sometimes. His feelings just go away, it takes a while for them to turn back on and he hates that he can’t control it. Usually happens after a bad nightmare.

7. Really good at covering bruises and marks on his skin bc he had practice from G*be

8. He still flinches slightly whenever anyone raises their hand at him. It’s gotten better over the years, but you can still see it if you’re paying close attention.

9. DEFINITELY has high functioning depression

10. People nicknamed him Pretty Boy

11. He can sing really well but he is a STRICT shower/driving singer and he doesn’t sing around anyone else.

12. He can’t taste salt very well so he always orders extra salt on everything

13. He gets TERRIBLE migraines that take him out for whole days at a time

14. Everytime anyone makes a joke about how dumb he is, it actually rlly hurts him, but he’ll never bring it up

15. Cries silently cs he’s used to G*be getting mad at him for expressing emotions. He could be in a crowded room sitting RIGHT next to somebody and he could start crying and nobody would notice unless they were looking at him.

16. He loves kids but is scared to be a father bc of G*be and his dad

17. Percy doesn’t like chaos, even though he thrives in it. He appreciates routine.

18. He accidentally got involved in a drug ring when he was 8. I said this before but g*be would kick him out and there would be older guys wandering the streets, and it was better than being alone so he would hang out with them. But they were involved with some shady stuff so if he was around them, then HE was involved in that shady stuff.

19. He LOVES halloween. He goes all out and has the best decorations and costume every year.

20. Him and Grover have matching shark tattoos that they (illegally) got on Percy’s 14 birthday. They’re behind their ears. Percy somehow kept it from Sally until he was 16.

21. Nico nicknamed him “narcolepsy boy” after Percy once fell asleep in the middle of Piper and Drew screaming at each other.

22. More about the drug dealer stuff: he once got arrested. But before he could even call anyone, a random man bailed him out of jail, then mysteriously disappeared. That man definitely was not related to Triton in any way, shape, or form 😉😉

23. After Nico disappeared, Percy spent 4 days in bed because he was so exhausted and consumed with guilt he couldn’t muster the energy to get up.

24. Him, Silena, and Beckendorf once accidentally burned down one of the cabins. (It totally wasn’t the Apollo cabin. (They totally didn’t use greek fire. (And they DEFINITELY didn’t blame it on the Stolls.)))

25. Once when he was 6, he and his mom visited Montauk. They were hanging out by the beach when his mom went to go get more marshmallows for smores. Percy got distracted and started playing tag with a tiger shark that somehow ended up all the way at Montauk. They were missing for an hour, and when he reappeared, Sally was TERRIFIED. Percy convinced himself that the whole game of tag with the shark was a dream, then he found out who his father was, and realized that it wasn’t a dream.

26. has a very irrational love of the number 8. But his lucky number is the number -584. No one knows why. HE doesn’t even know why.

27. When he can’t sleep, he bakes. So once, when Percy was going through a really bad insomnia phase, he made 4 different cakes in one night.

28. Also bakes when he’s upset. Though, when he’s upset, his baking suddenly specializes in pies. After Apollo showed up and Percy fought the big statue thing, he made a bunch of pies. Sally brought them to work with her that monday, and there was enough for the whole congregation, and there was STILL leftovers.

29. Makes THE BEST bolognese ever. (He got the recipe from his mom.)

30. NEVER drinks water unless it’s the only thing he has. He will always drink soda or coffee.

31. Favorite soda is Dr Pepper, but he is a sucker for Shirley Temples.

32. Has a collection of different Dr Pepper t shirts.

33. Once ate a bag of glitter. It was blue.

34. Tore his esophagus open by throwing up.

35. When Annabeth first said “I love you” to him, he short-circuited and said “thanks.”

36. G*be acc did hurt Sally in front of Percy a few times when Percy was little, but it was so traumatizing and Percy was so young that his brain blocked it out and so he forgot about it until years late

37. Once fractured 3 of his ribs and didn’t notice until MONTHS later

okay hope you guys enjoy. Comment or ask me if you want a more thorough explanation on any of these!

[wyldblunt]

Hi, it is 6 AM here and I have to sleep but I'm writing to you to let you know that I'm very concerned about what I've been reading in the past day.

I heard of the gwg/Logan incident on the day of it happening, but that's not really what I'm worried about. What concerns me is what seems like a consistent & long term systematic marginalization of POC in GW2 fan spaces. To be honest I'm not that surprised, I've had my suspicions since 2020.

I'm not active on GW2 tumblr or any social media at all, other than posting the Tyria Pride announcements once a year, so I don't have much impact outside of the Tyria Pride discord, but I still want to do something. I have some ideas, and am also always open to suggestions.

I would love to chat at some point (it doesn't have to be now, and I totally get it if you're not interested). The Tyria Pride discord isn't huge but it isn't small either, and maybe I have some influence that I can use for good.

Lelling

Tyria Pride Lead

P.S.: I know this can be a source of exhaustion so please do not worry about tone policing yourself or rewording your reply for ages to be "just right", if you do reply to me. (I just spent an hour doing that so I get it, it is now 7 AM). I'm on your side. I'll meet you where you're at.

hey — i hope you don't mind that i'm posting this publicly, but i want to because waking up to this message was a huge relief to me. and as i've tried to explain in other conversations about this, i KNOW there are LOTS of people who have been really uncomfortable through this entire convo but have not felt willing or able to speak up publicly (bc of open threats of ostracization for "being mean" AND observed behavior towards those of us who have said anything) and i hope that reading this will be a relief to them too.

thank you not only for reaching out but also for GETTING what our actual concerns are, bc one of my biggest frustrations through all of this has been people repeatedly twisting the issue so they can dismiss it as squabbling about fiction and then they don't actually have to address the broader patterns we're talking about here; thank you for the assurance that i won't be tone policed, because that's been repeatedly used against us as well ("okay i guess you guys are making some good points but you're being so ANGRY"); and thank you for acknowledging how tiring this is, because i've been made to feel like if i don't keep showing up and being vocal about this, leaving behind mostly the white allies who have been sticking up for us and using their privilege to make corrections and take some of the brunt of the ridicule and backlash, the whole thing will be dismissed as a non-issue anyway. and frankly i don't fucking want to anymore! i'm tired lol!

but i also wanted to springboard off this really kind and reassuring message from you to say it isn't the only one i've received, and that as angry and exhausted as i am, i want to highlight and acknowledge that i have NOT been alone in this. people have been checking in on me, listening to what i and others have to say about it and boosting our statements, changing their minds if they jumped to conclusions earlier, and offering private support and conversation among those of us who still don't feel comfortable braving the environment out here on tumblr — obviously the bad experiences i've had through this are sticking in my head and are really demoralizing, but honestly in terms of quantity and quality i have had MORE experiences of people supporting me and making sure i'm okay. this fandom has massive problems but it also has more of a solid, positive core than i was willing to hope for in the beginning.

i spoke up initially because it was horrible how isolated i felt when this all kicked off; the wider problem is absolutely not fixed, but i can confidently say i don't feel alone or abandoned anymore, and that gives me a ton of hope for figuring this out.