#i spend too much time looking at mike and will's spotify playlists

[in-deep]

Can’t stop thinking about these three things:

1)

2)

3) which I don’t see anyone talking about?!!

Mike has a song called telephone operator on his official Spotify playlist!

And here's the music video, which is so interesting to look at from a Mike Wheeler analysis point of view. Especially with the added context of S4.

[motownfiction]

spending the whole day at the beach

Every summer, for as long as Veronica can remember, her father has taken Carrie, Cordelia, and Cal to visit his parents – her grandparents – in Florida. They moved there after Sam died. Said they needed a fresh start. What they got, as Carrie always joked, was a rancid one.

No one really chooses to live in Florida, she jested. They’re either born there, or they end up there.

And even though Veronica was never fond of Florida herself, she used to spend those ten days in the summer seething that she wasn’t there. Maggie and Mike are her grandparents, too. Why should she only get to see them once a year, if she’s lucky? Why should she have to get $100 less than Cal on their birthday? Why should that ever be?

Veronica knows why. It’s because they know Cal. It’s because they talk to him on the phone, they see him during the summer, and they know him. They are allowed to know him.

It’s not so easy with Veronica.

But after her freshman year of high school and after the vaccinations, she decides she’s fed up. Waiting around has never done her any good. She marches to Charlie’s apartment on a Saturday afternoon and demands to go on this year’s trip. It’s not like Carrie’s using her ticket this year. Maggie and Mike aren’t her in-laws anymore.

That was about enough to get Charlie to agree.

They’ve been in Florida for almost two full days now. Maggie and Mike took everybody to the Cheesecake Factory last night. When Veronica tried to order a key lime cheesecake, Maggie scoffed and told her not to waste it. She’d take her to the Keys for some real pie later. She didn’t mean it to be mean (at least, Veronica hopes not), but she can see why they say Sam was always a little afraid of his mother. She knows what she wants. More importantly, she knows what she wants you to want.

There’s not too much to enjoy about this trip. Charlie is weird in front of his parents. When they ask him about the divorce (about how if it’s real this time, gesturing to Veronica as though she’s the reason for any of this, and maybe she is), he clams up. Cal is quiet. He mostly sits in the corner of any given room, texting his mother and sister about what a terrible time he’s having. But Veronica doesn’t want to sink into misery and discomfort. She demanded to go on this trip. And that’s going to mean something.

Veronica looks in the mirror and asks herself what her grandparents would do – Lucy and Will, the good ones. She knows Lucy wouldn’t have been bullied out of ordering the cheesecake she wanted, and she knows Will would have eaten the whole slice without blinking, just to piss Maggie off. She knows they wouldn’t hide away. They’d put on their best bathing suits and walk outside. Forget everybody else.

She wraps herself in a cover-up and a big sunny hat. On her way out, she grabs her phone and shuffles her preferred playlist. God and Spotify must have really been looking out for her on this one.

I … I love the colorful clothes she wears / and the way the sunlight plays upon her hair …

Before she knows it, she’s spending the whole day at the beach. Never once does Veronica think about Charlie or Cal or her grandparents (either set). She just thinks about herself – something she never does enough of.

The time sucks itself into the sun, but she doesn’t care.

She’s here.

[astrobei]

Do you have any modern byler hcs?

(cracks neck, stretches) oh boy DO i

mike wheeler closet one direction fan truther LISTEN u can’t tell me he does not listen to 18 and get giddy thinking about will and how they’ve grown up together and spent their lives together (either established or pre-relationship) that is so real to me ok . and he just gets into boyband music in general because it’s fun and it’s kind of sappy and the guys are really cute and every time he sings one of the songs it makes will roll his eyes and laugh and then it’s one big horrendous feedback loop of mike being down BAD for his best friend

they’re those idiots that literally start having their own conversation in the big group chat and ignore everyone else entirely and then one by one lucas and dustin and el and max will just leave and start their own group chat and they have a bet to see how long it’ll take for byler to notice that no one else is even there anymore (it takes about two and a half weeks)

they send each other little voice memos during their day if their hands are too full to text but they “don’t have time” to call so u scroll up on these idiots’ text convos and it’s like 5 minutes straight of those little blue imessage voice memo blobs

long distance edition: they Definitely order each other doordash. will’s got all of mike’s preferences saved on his app and it’s categorized like “things mike is always in the mood for” “things to get him when he’s sad” “if he had the worst day ever” and mike doesn’t know How will knows when he’s sad or has the worst day ever but 30-60 minutes later the exact food he was in the mood for shows up at his door

mike sends will all of his essays to proofread except will can never send him actual constrictive criticism and it’s always a google doc w comments like “you spelled this word wrong lol” and then they spend the next hour literally just talking to each other over this shared google doc and then mike has to panic edit his essay at 2 in the morning

mike’s parents make him get a job to pay for the phone bill skyrocketing from talking to and texting will literally every waking moment of every day. like Every Waking Moment Of Every Day. he sprains his thumb from texting too much

they netflix party/watch movies together online when they’re apart except mike always falls asleep thirty minutes in and will leaves the camera on and goes to sleep too so it’s like they’re Together

mike got really into the “alexa, play ___” when it was a meme and then will had to disconnect and hide the alexa in their house and threaten him with a breakup if he didn’t shut up .

mike drives, will tries and fails to use google maps and gets too distracted by mike’s horrible driving/how cute he looks while almost hitting a pedestrian to tell mike to turn on time (in the end, they end up propping the phone up on the dash w one of those holder things and using the google maps voice commands)

mike made a bunch of spotify playlists about how much he liked will and forgot that 1. will followed him, 2. they were public, and 3. his listening activity was on

there are more but . these should suffice for now . maybe 🤸

[bakugohoex]

congrats on 1k!! may i request angst #10 with levi ackerman? <3

“goodbye my love”

pairing: levi ackerman x gender neutral reader

cw: angst, blood, kissing, death, flashbacks in italics 

word count: 1700+

a/n: i feel sad now and i have to write some nsfw next whoops hehe, but hope you guys like this and enjoy the angst i guess

playlist: please check out these songs from @marchsbakery dying in levi’s arms, here’s the spotify link as well, i had no idea she was making it but it coincided with me posting this so of course i had to add the playlist. 

summary: in which in your final moments, you relive all your memories with levi until saying your last words to your love

1k event masterlist

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist

The sound of your screams and the tears that flooded from your eyes was the last thing Levi saw when a titan had collided right into you. It had been quick, carefully thought out even, the way the horse was flung to the side and you almost looked ethereal in the sky. But it wasn’t some scene in a play where you would look magnificent, your blood curdling scream was what made everybody turn to look at you.

Turn and see a superior flung to the side, with blood seeping through your clothes. Your stomach churning at the impact, ready to be eaten. Levi saw it all, quickly slashing the neck of a titan before running to the titan, it gripped your body as your legs kicked and your mouth screamed. Tears mixed with blood dampened your skin, this was it for you. This was what everything had come down to, the titans mouth opened wide, you could almost see the other humans in its stomach. You closed your eyes ready for the tear of your legs, but it never came.

Instead the crushing of your bones, the excruciating pain you went through as the titan may have been slashed by Levi, may have begun toppling to the ground. But in its last-ditch attempt to kill you, it squeezed your body, bones crushing and moving out of place, blood trickling down your mouth. If it couldn’t have you neither could Levi.

“Y/n, you…” Levi was about to ask about your condition, but the way you were sprayed onto the palm of the titan, blood coughing from your mouth, bruises forming and pain searing through you. He knew something was wrong, you both were so close to having killed the titans, there had only been a couple left. You could survive this, get the treatment you needed, but as he ran up to you, grabbing your body he could almost feel your pain.

“L…Levi.” You coughed out more blood, he hated seeing you like this, in his arms vulnerable, he was vulnerable. What could he do, other than hold his love.

He shifted your body from the titans palm, you both in a safe area away from the others. “You’re going to be fine.” There wasn’t a question about it, you’d survive, you’d be fit and ready to go on the next expedition, he didn’t care.

“I’m d…dying.” You could barely form words, but if this was your last moments you were glad it was with your love rather than inside a Titans gullet.

Levi watched as tears fell down your numb body, he took a deep breath, he knew it was hard for him to express emotions. Express himself to you, but he looked up in the sky, suppressing any forming tears that could come out, he wanted to be strong for you. “No, yo…you won’t.”

“Tell me our story.” You were going in and out of your own mind, you didn’t want to fight over your death, you wanted to hear your story. The story of Y/n and Levi and how they were supposed to rule the world, fight titans and finally gain the peace that they deserved.

He saw how you shut your eyes just wanting to hear any story, there was no time to help you. He had to give you your last wish, explain your story if it was the last thing he did. “Okay.” He held you in his arms, kissing your forehead with warmth. “We met a couple months after you joined the scouts, you were so confident, remember…

“Is this the famous Captain Levi, I’ve heard so much about.” Levi eyes you up and down at how easily you made yourself at home with him, he raised an eyebrow as he folded his arm.

You stared at the man a smirk as you tilted your head waiting for a reply, “if you’re going to act like you don’t know who I am, then I have no business with you.” He was ready to walk away but you grabbed his arm, making him stop in his tracks. “What brat?”

“So rude, you’re the one who asked for me to join your squad.” Levi was the one to be confused as he looked at you with a puzzled look, “you asked for the girl who got first in the scouts, that’s me.”

“You?” He looked at you with no emotion.

“Don’t need to be so mean, I’m really am quite good.” You spoke highly of yourself, Levi hated those who had no actual experience to back them up.

He tapped his food in thought before replying, “we’ll see, get ready, you’ll be right next to me.”

“Gosh not even an apology.” He glared as you shrugged leaving him to tut in disgust, he’d have to sort that attitude out for sure. You had thought that joining a squad so easily and especially Levi’s squad would be an honour. But after his words it felt more like a low blow at how he didn’t recognise your talent, he looked down at you and you already had a will to prove him wrong.

“…God, you really hated me back then didn’t you.” Levi looked down at your nimble self, blood spewing down your mouth. You nodded trying to put out a laugh but could barely even lift your eyelids back up.

“Te…Tell me more.” Your words were short and breathless, he saw tears continue to trickle down, he didn’t know how long you had left, he witnessed more titans collide to the ground. Even if he had brought you back to the scouts, they couldn’t do anything until all the titans were defeated. You’d be another corpse on the long list, he’d give you these minutes, these moments to die without having a line in your name.

“You pestered me afterwards, on the expedition you showed off all those tricks and killed so many titans, but I never told, but I admired it my love, admired the way you did everything for humanity you didn’t fear death, I fell in love with you because you weren’t selfish like the others…

Levi had asked for you to come by his office after coming back from town, it had been a couple months since the expedition, and you had grown fond of the boy. He may have given you snide remarks, but the small upwards twitch of his mouth proved that he didn’t hate you as much as he let on. You knocked on the wooden door as you heard a come in, easily slipping between the cracks.

You couldn’t lie and say you hadn’t become infatuated with the man either, the way he killed titans and swung through the air always felt like your own private show. Even now here, with his watchful eyes at your movement towards his desk, he gave no emotion, but his eyes spoke differently, inviting you in almost. “What can I do for you, Captain?”

“Sit down.” He was stern with his words which you easily followed as you crossed your legs staring at him. “You’ve been working with Mike a lot lately.”

It wasn’t something you had expected, and you almost laughed at his accusations, “what about it?”

“I prefer my squad to work together rather than separately.” His sentence was filled with mystery as if he wanted to say more.

You felt confident in what you believed him to be saying, it had been Hanje who planted the idea that Levi preferred you more than he did other humans. But preferred was a stretch of the word that you had thought of, could he possibly like you, the way you liked him. “Captain, this isn’t about working together is it, are you jealous?”

“No.” He was blunt about it but refused to meet your gaze, you stood up moving closer to his seat, you leaned against his desk, eyes on his form as he looked at the papers in front. Rather than the side where your watchful eyes were.

“You don’t need to lie to me Levi, but if you really don’t, I was just about to go spend some time with Mik…” Levi grabbed your wrists stopping your words, he finally looked up at you. He moved his chair to be in front of you, his body between your legs, before grabbing your jaw.

“You leave this room and I’ll make you regret it.” Your chest felt heavy as you leant down to meet his mouth, his mouth feeling warm against your own as you both moved in sync with one another.

“…I fell in for you from that moment Y/n.” He looked back down at you, your body feeling heavy on his thighs.

You looked up at him, finally being able to open your eyes as you looked at him wanting to speak and tell him how much you loved him. “I…I…” You began coughing again, worry radiating off of Levi, “you told me…on our first date that we’d be toge…together forever.”

“We will.” Levi lied to make himself feel better, to make himself believe that this was all a dream. He had lost too many people, his mother, his friends and comrades he couldn’t, he couldn’t lose his one love. The one person he had sworn to protect, to save from this disgusting world.

“For…forever wasn’t long enough...” You whispered feeling empty inside, tears soared out as you looked through the dampness right up at Levi. He looked down and for the first time you witnessed the tears, how he tried to hide them with an emotionless face. But they were there.

He brought his head down to meet your own, forehead resting against your own, “we’ll get our happiness next time…I promise my love.”

You felt his tears fall onto your own skin, feeling your body begin to shut down, your eyes feeling heavy as Levi bent down to your lips to give you one last kiss. To give himself one last kiss, you were always going to be it for him, nobody would ever replace you.

And as he finally parted from your damp lips he heard the last words, he had never wanted to hear, never wanted to imagine coming from your lips. Your arm falling to the grass, body heavy and eyes shut as you whispered the words that brought about the end, “goodbye my love.”

Tears pricked down Levi’s face; he hadn’t expected it from himself. He thought he could stay emotionless but as he held your corpse in his arms, bringing you closer to his body, he remembered every second he had spent with you, loving you and how he was never going to get that ever again.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alaina-rose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world @levisfilm @katsuhera @answer-the-sirens @animexholic @wapbenders @the-shota-king-masayuki @bakugousmrs @crystal-lilac @dai-tsukki-desu @fandomsinthegalaxies @crimsonbows-and-arrows @admin-in-residence @otterlockholmes @gabrann @zlatanakermann @c0urtn3y @bakuhoesworld 

[kaypeace21]

Will created the Mindflayer (Theory revisited)

After, watching all 3 seasons I believe the upside down/mindflayer is not only an allegory for Will and El’s (cannon) ptsd/ and trauma but also (because of their powers), has become a physical manifestation (with a life of it’s own). I previously talked about how El made the upside down/demorgorgans and how Will created the mindflayer and demodogs (before s3). However I wanted to add more details to this analysis and  focus on how the Mindflayer represented Will’s darker emotions and thoughts in s3 . So let’s get started.

The original title for Stranger things was “Montauk”- in reference to the Montauk Project. It was about experiments conducted on psychic children, where the scientists would “break” them psychologically to strengthen their powers and to program them.  In one of the stories there was a boy named Duncan who could “open portals to other dimensions and periods of time” . However, one day “Duncan let loose a monster from his subconscious.” 

This is where Stranger Things comes in... El, opened the portal and created the demorgorgans, which represented El’s fears. Joyce and Nancy called the demorgorgan  a “man without a face”, or as El called them repeatedly “the bad men.” The bad men kill (using guns),  while the demorgans are attracted to blood. However, the one time they went after someone who wasn’t bleeding- was when it chased after Will, another psychic child. Brenner even says about the demorgorgan “it’s calling to you for a reason”. And right before El goes to the sensory deprivation tank, Brenner gives her flowers (resembling the opened face of the demorgorgan which resembles a flower). In the Stranger things novel, Suspicious Minds, a psychic character named Alice, even says “ “Monsters...of course my brain has them.” As long as they stayed in there, everything would be all right. “Wouldn’t it?”

The upside down/ opening of the gate/demorgorgan is even described as something that  grows and spreads, “like a cancer”. And something that will eventually kill her, if not confronted (and analogy to suicidal thoughts?)

In s1 Dusting even asks, Eleven “Do you have cancer?” In a literal sense no, but the buzzcut ( which makes people assume she has cancer) represents the abuse she’s been through. And if she doesn’t confront her trauma it will slowly eat away at her until it kills her .  Or the physical manifestation of it will.

The name El is the name of a Canaanite God, which means “god of creation.” When El said in s1 “I’m the monster”, only for Mike to correct her and disagree. In a way they’re both right, it’s not her who is in control. But the monsters (who has a life of its own) represents her darker emotions and fears and is affected by her feelings- and this is why they were mirrored to each other visually.

So the fact that the Mindflayer shows up for the first time when Will is experiencing his “anniversary effect” relating to his ptsd, may not be a coincidence. Don’t you find it strange when Will’s dog died between s1-2, the demorgorgans become demo-dogs?  And once again,  the vines ( put inside Will in s1) and the shadow monster/Mindflayer - are also described as spreading, and we are told that it will kill Will. Will even says “ the more he spreads the more connected to him I feel.” And if I’m right about Will becoming number 12, it’s interesting to point out that 12 is a numeral symbol for “God of creation”, as well.

The other Drs/scientists are extremely callous and say they need to continue the burn (even if it kills Will). However, Dr Owens even says after this “You’re putting a bandaid on this.”  Meaning they aren’t addressing the real problem- Will & El’s trauma.

And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if I’m right- this also implies Will was m***sted as a kid (probably by Lonnie), who always called him homophobic slurs. The demorogorgan represented ‘Brenner/ the bad-men’ to El. And the Mindflayer initially represented Lonnie, to Will . Will is even the first to call the Mindflayer a “he”, instead of an it- even though in d&d cannon Mindflayers are “sexless hermaphodites”. 

Also,Will doesn’t initially call the Mindflayer a “he” but an “it”.And if you only take out certain pieces of dialogue between Joyce and Will, when they first talk  about the mind flayer, where they only refer to it as an ‘it’ … and if you put  [‘he/him’] pronouns there instead… then the rest of the discussion about the mind flayer literally sounds… questionable.

Will: “It all just went blank and then you were there”

Joyce: “Will I need you to tell me the truth.”

Will: “I am!”

Joyce: “But …  But I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on. So you have to talk to me. Please. No more secrets, okay? Okay.”

Will: “ [*It] came for me and … and  I tried… I tried to make [*it] go away … but [*it] got me mom”.        (*he, * him,* he)

Joyce: What does that mean?”

Will: “I felt [*it] everywhere. everywhere. I- I still feel [*it]. I just want this to be over!”         (*him, *him)

Joyce: “LOOK AT ME! I Will never let anything bad happen to you ever again!”

And I’m not sure how seriously I should take the cannon spotify playlists. But, the cannon spotify character playlists  (which netflix and spotify worked on and published together after s2) alluded to this on both Jonathan and Will’s playlists. And the only songs about their dads hint at this fact.

Jonathan’s Playlist- We’re happy family: “Eating refried beans (poverty). Gulpin’ down Thorazines (pills for a mood disorder). We ain’t got no friends (s2 ref). Our troubles never end. Daddy likes men. Daddy’s telling lies.”

Enter sandman: “Don’t forget my son. Sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight, Exit light, Enter night. Take my hand, we’re off to never-never land. Something’s wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight. Dreams of liars and of things that will bite, yeah. Hush little baby don’t say a word, and never mind that noise you heard. It’s just the beasts under your bed, in your closet in your head.”

Will’s playlist- Creature comfort: “Some boys hate themselves spend their lives resenting their fathers…Some boys get too much, too much love, too much touch... look in the mirror and wait for the feedback”

And if the vines and the shadow monster represent his dad  the fact it enters violently through his mouth,  and the way he describes the Mf first possessing him further reinforces this analogy. Especially since Billy/MF lays on top of his victims, and  right before the monster puts a similar thing in their mouths says (To Heather) “Don’t be afraid. It’ll all be over soon. Just stay very still”, and (to El) “Don’t be afraid . It’ll all be over soon. Just try and stay... very still.” (May indicate Will might have have heard his dad say this  to him, and thats why the Mf says it to his victims.)

The entry of the vine, even causes him to spit out a slug, as he looks back in the mirror (like in the song lyric).

The experience of the vine/slug probably brought back traumatic memories, not to mention his time in the upside down invented new ones. The mindflayer first appears during Will’s ptsd “anniversary effect”. And in s2 when Joyce asked about the mindflayer drawing, Will  lies saying it’s for a story he’s writing . But maybe, unbeknownst to him... it wasn’t actually a lie ? The 1st time Will senses the Mf again in s3, is when he’s watching a movie about zombies (on a ‘date’ with Mike). And in s3, the monster the Mf creates is based “the thing” ( by  merging zombies bodies together)... and we see Will writing the d&d story right next to this ‘The Thing’ poster. The light at it’s head, indicating this whole story may be Will’s idea all along. 

So ‘the thing’, the zombies, defeating it with fire were all referenced to Will- and later showed to unfold in the Mf’s story. And even though d&d always foreshadows later events in the season,  I find it interesting that the one time in the series we see Will write the d&d story... is when it matches MF’s plans. The shadow monster stayed in the real world, after the gate closed (and didn’t do anything for 6 months)? And specifically choses to attack/possess a guy named William who also was abused by his dad and called homophobic slurs (internalized hate perhaps)? And don’t you find it strange that the shadow monster only decides to come out now, in the summer (despite it not liking hot temperatures) when Will is at his lowest point emotionally? Well, it’s because the MF is based on Will’s darker emotions and thoughts.

 S3 was the season that Will was feeling jealous over mileven, and probably coming more to terms with his sexuality -  and this is when the mindflayer/shadow monster decides to strike. Whenever the Mf is close and Will touches his neck relates to his romantic feelings for Mike. 1st time it’s on one of their ‘movie dates’, 2nd time when Mike and El walk off together down the hill, 3rd time right after he smashed castle byers after Mike says “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls”, 4th time when Mike asks him to go away so he can talk to El in the hospital waiting area, and 5th time when Mike says El loves El. 

And again it’s when Will smashes castle Byers that Will first says “He’s back”. Castle byers was built on a rainy night , the same day Will’s  dad left, when Will was 5 (the same age he met Mike). And lonnie called him a “queer” and a “f*g” and forced him to do “normal things” like baseball to have him “be more of a man”. And then on a rainy night, after Mike says “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”… what does Will destroy castle byers with? A bat. 

Will drew up castle byers before creating it in the real world.  And the fact Will has a baseball bat (despite not liking baseball) in Castle Byers, surrounded by things he loves: drawings, d&d, art supplies, a microscope, comics- just shows what an impact Lonnie’s problematic conditioning and abandonment had on him. He used a baseball bat to destroy something he loves -castle Byers, and symbolically he was trying to reject his feelings for Mike using Lonnie’s old tactics of fixing him. So regardless of what Lonnie did or didn’t do, the correlation between the MF and Lonnie is there. He smashes up castle Byers with a bat (thinking of Lonnie) and then he feels “more connected to him (the Mf)” again, and says ‘he (the Mf) is back’.

The reason we didn’t get Willel, was for a narrative reason. We are shown that Max and El don’t know each other. It’s implied that El almost never leaves the house and just spends her time kissing Mike. So Will never got to have the opportunity to get to know her either. And for Will his resentment of El isn’t simply based on the fact he loves Mike. He insults El calling her a “stupid-girl” just like how Robin said she hated Steve and his “stupid-hair” because the girl she liked , liked him- and of course a lot of that redirected hate isn’t mere jealousy, but projected internalized homophobia. I don’t think a straight person could ever really understand how much hate queer people initially have for themselves when initially figuring things out- so his redirected anger is more than simple jealousy, but just hate for himself. He even looks at a picture of Mike after this and says “so stupid”,  4 times , while at castle Byers.

But honestly, that’s nothing compared to the hate he has/ how he blames her for ruining his life! El might have saved him twice (and it might of been an accident/ dr Brenner who’s really to blame). But Will knows she opened the gate . So to him, he spent a week in a place with no sunlight, food, or breathable air , having to experience that vine, dying, getting ptsd, being ostracized by everyone at school and being called “zombie boy” and a “freak”- being possessed by the MF, getting burned alive, killing Bob (the closest thing to a real father figure) and all those men (making him a murderer), and strangling his mom.Because of her!

And then that’s when s3 starts to make a lot more sense. Will might not want anything bad to actually happen to El but he’s probably had these dark thoughts before.  Will even says about the MF.

He says the real Mf is still in the upside down, but ‘the part that was still in him... was still in their world.’ And it flashes to El’s face as he says it. Essentially the Mf is motivated by his fictionalized story, thoughts/memories of Lonnie, and any dark intrusive thought Will has ever had about El , much to Will’s horror. 

He said in s3 that “I’m not worried about me, mom. I’m worried about you.” So the fact that he strangled her and almost killed her in s2, probably haunts him to this day- and he might of thought, ‘wish I strangled her instead’. And who does Billy/Mf look at right before grabbing her throat, and who is the first reaction shot we see when he starts choking her - Will’s horrified expression!

Maybe the Mf thought El was the most important, and that Will was nothing ( despite all the foreshadowing indicating the Mf held special intentions for Will), because he feels like he’s nothing compared to El? Will even says in s2 it wanted to kill everyone, but him, but now it’s saying that to El only? Maybe because Will wanted her to experience having such an entity say it to her too, and experience the same fear and isolation it caused him? In s2, why did the Mf chase Will and possess him at the school, when El (at the same time) was at the school as well (if it was always after her)? It’s because the Mf’s motivations are linked to Will’s feelings/emotions.

He probably also thought, how would you like a slug crawling/invading your body, huh?And although it doesn’t go to her mouth (probably because he could never wish that on anyone- if it symbolizes what I think it does). She still has a similar experience. And everyone is worried/horrified but Will is the only one sobbing (probably because he thought of this happening to her before).

After this he doesn’t even help move the car, he just stays glued at El’s side as if trying to protect her. And interestingly, this is when El loses her powers. Will may have even thought. If she never had her powers, none of this would have ever happened! Or ‘you guys wouldn’t think she’s so great without her powers.” So did Will accidentally steal her powers?!!!! Maybe. Will has always been associated with bears (along with 3 other animal symbols that El also has).  We see a zoom in shot of Will’s bear drawing right before the demorgorgan takes him from the upside down version of castle byers in s1. Bears symbolically represent  “wisdom” like ‘Will the wise’ and were associated with the demorgorgan/upside down in s1 and 2 as well . Max and Nancy both compared demorrgorgans to bears- and Nancy and Jonathan used a bear-trap to capture the demorgorgan in s1. So when El tries to grab Will’s teddy bear (it was shown to be his in s1) with her powers. And Mike says “they’ll come back”. They might actually come back, because Will and EL’s relationship improves. Mike even tried to give El a golden bear as a gift (so maybe that signifies the giving back of her powers in s4 ?)

Will was always hinted to have powers from the very beginning, so it would be incredibly stupid to just drop this plot point, despite all the foreshadowing. In the 1st episode, Will wins Dustin’s xmen comic in a bet- and Dustin later asks the gang “Do you think Eleven was born with powers like the xmen?” And also before he was sent to the upside down his password for Castle Byers was ‘Rhadagast’ a wizard character from Lord of the Rings. And in the ST prequel novel “Suspicious Minds”  the adult psychics were referenced to both the xmen and lord of the Rings characters. And in the comic, he keeps on saying ‘what would Will- the Wise do’ (his d&d wizard character). Also Dustin straight up called El a “wizard” in the last ep of s1, at Will’s bedside. Not to mention Mike in s2 called Will a “cleric” - and clerics get their powers from a god (cough the mindflayer), and in d&d the wiser the cleric the more powerful they are. And Will’s nickname is ‘Will the wise’? The fact that Will in s1 drew his character with lightning and fire powers- and the fact he barbecued 2 phones in s1 (just like El did to the radio at the school). In s1 was said he could “shadow walk” a wizard d&d power.  The fact he could control lights and manipulate electronics to communicate to his mom from another dimension (and in s1 only El could do that). The fact he literally created a portal through the wall of his house (just like El did at the school in s2). And just the many other hints in s1! The fact that he drew himself in s2 with a crystal ball (which is associated with the powers of scrying and clairvoyance) before being possessed, but just so happen to have those abilities in s2. Dustin also said the only way to defeat the MF is an undead army and Will’s nickname is “zombie boy”. So frankly, his fight with the MF (who is still in the upside down) may not be over. And that new demorgagan in Russia might be a symbol of El’s grief over Hopper’s (perceived) death.

This would honestly, be the only explanation that would allow me to forgive the Duffers . Like you can steal this idea from me! Please! XD

[eds-trashmouth]

PolyJAMorous

A/N: hi I hate this! But it’s here and it’s not what I intended but I hope you like it regardless. I’ve also decided that people probably don’t care about word count and all that so I’m not going to put it on anymore (unless you guys want me to) Thank you for the support and the next one will be better. I promise ❤️

-

A road trip was certainly not how the losers thought they would be spending their summer break before they all packed up and headed off to college. Yet, Richie had the bright idea to make the trip from Derry, Maine to Colorado. He’d come up with the idea a week or so into the start of their senior year. Luckily they’d had all school year to plan and save up money.

Richie got a job at the Aladdin, the local theater, taking tickets and cleaning up after the shows. He ended up making decent money and buying a used suv by the middle of the year. He had to cut out smokes but Eddie says it’s better that way. He’d do anything for Eddie so giving up cigarettes was nothing, although on his very stressful days Bev was nice enough to share a cig or two with him.

Eddie on the other hand, wasn’t allowed to get a job. Mrs. K turned down that idea almost immediately, yelling about how any job he would get as a teenager would be flipping burgers and she couldn’t have her precious Eddiebear flipping burgers in a “disgusting” fast food place. So, he decided he would tutor some underclassmen after school. He had put up flyers around campus to try to get some tutoring jobs but ultimately he didn’t get that many. He even tried to back out of the trip because he felt bad for having less than everyone else. Richie was the first to shut that idea down. “You’re going Spaghetti. Even if I have to pay for you myself. It’s a losers trip. Gotta have all seven of us!”

It took Beverly until the middle of the school year to finally find a job. Through no fault of her own, it seems that when the whole town thinks you’re dirty as a child, you don’t find many people who forget that kind of thing. She eventually landed a job with Richie at the theater. She suspected the Trashmouth himself had something to do with that, but she knew he’d never tell.

Now, Mike and Stan had a pretty easy time finding work. They’d been together since Sophomore year and Stan loved helping out on the farm, so Mike asked his grandfather if they could get paid for some of the farm work. It took a little convincing but by the third week of school, Mike and Stan were already getting their first week of pay. Stan definitely enjoyed rubbing it in Richie’s face that he got to see his boyfriend and get paid to do so. Maybe Richie took a quick glance at Eddie when he did so. Maybe he didn’t.

Bill also had a pretty easy time finding work. There was a new YMCA opening up in Derry and Bill already had experience lifeguarding for the past two summers so he applied to work at their pool. Obviously he got it, and he even snuck the losers in a few times for a late night swim.

Ben had been working at the library since sophomore year so he didn’t have to do much worrying. He had the money saved up by December, and a little extra for Eddie just incase. Although, Richie already called dibs on paying for Eddie. Even if Eddie didn’t know it yet.

Today was finally the day. They’d made it through the school year and even stayed for graduation. The losers had all met up at Richie’s to help get ready for the trip. The sun was blazing down upon them as they packed everything into the van. Each loser had a duffle bag and they’d brought a cooler filled with lunchables, sodas, and flavored waters requested by Stan and Eddie. It didn’t take too long to load everything and hit the road.

Richie insisted on taking the first shift driving. The trip was a whole days worth of travel, inevitably they would need to stop for gas, food, and possibly even a hotel but Richie was determined to drive as much as he could before stopping. This trip was his baby, he’d been planning it all year. They hadn’t really set a destination yet, other than Colorado, the whole idea was to just decide to stop somewhere pretty. Of the losers, Richie, Ben, Bill, and Mike were the only ones with a license, they’d done the math and needed to switch every 7 hours or so.

“What are these idiots thinking?!” From the passenger seat, Eddie rolled his eyes. The roads were bustling by mid day, and the cars were just flying by. “Don’t they know the speed limit is only 70? They’re going to cause an accident.”

“Eds, I’m only going 65. They’re probably going like 75 or 80.”

“Well regardless, that’s still over the speed limit Richie! It’s dangerous!” Eddie was talking with his hands, overly exaggerating everything, giving it the emphasis he always seemed to. Richie couldn’t help but glance at the boy beside him. He smiled fondly as Eddie noticed his attention. “Eyes on the road Chee!”

“Would you two lovebirds q-quit bickering? I’m t-trying to nap before it’s my turn to drive.” Richie peeked into his rear view mirror to see Bill with his eyes still closed and his head on Ben’s shoulder in the very back seat. Ben didn’t seem to mind the intrusion, his attention was fully on the game Beverly was playing next to him. Stan and Mike were seated in the middle of the vehicle, a bench seat to share, and wearing one earbud each watching Netflix. Richie would’ve gagged had he not fully intended on doing the same with Eddie once he was done driving.

“Let’s listen to some classic Richie tunes then Spaghetti! Everyone else is doing they’re own thing.” He could see Eddie roll his eyes once more in his peripheral vision before he leaned down to get the aux cord for Richie. He laid his hand out, waiting for Richie’s phone, which he gladly handed over. “Alright, I wanna listen to something good. Let me think.”

“I’m playing something while you decide then.” Eddie already went to work, plugging in the aux and setting up the radio. He opened the phone with his thumb and in seconds was on Richie’s Spotify. Richie couldn’t help but think how much of a routine this was. Just for them. None of the losers had their thumb print on his phone, everyone else had to ask how to work the radio or where his aux was, but not Eddie. His Eddie.

“No Jonas Brothers. That’s my only request.”

“You love them, don’t pretend to be hardcore.” Eddie was already scrolling down his playlist to search. Before long a familiar beat filled the air. A Jonas Brothers song.

“Don’t out me like that, and then play my favorite JB song. You can’t do me like that Eds.”

“Not my name, and this is your punishment for calling Spaghetti as well.” Don’t Throw It Away off their newest album blessed the speakers. Richie couldn’t stop himself and soon began screaming the lyrics at the top of his lungs. His fingers tapped happily to the beat, while he danced in his seat. As the chorus hit and Richie had given into the music, he glanced over to see Eddie recording him.

“I know I’m famous but no pictures please. I’m just trying to live my truth!” Richie’s hand came up to cover the camera while he let out a loud laugh. Eddie was too quick for him though and moved the phone right out of his reach, leaning into the side door.

“Hands on the wheel and eyes on the road. You wouldn’t want us to die before we even get to Colorado would you? And besides, I have to document the trip. This is the last trip that we all get to have together before we move on.”

“I’ll never move on from you Spaghetti.” With his eyes still on the road, Richie tried grabbing for Eddie’s cheek only to get smacked away from the boy himself.

“Ha ha. Very funny Trashmouth. You know what I mean. We all have our own livings waiting for us when we get back. I want to remember this. Remember us Chee.” Out of the corner of his eyes Richie could see the slight flush on the boys face. “The losers that is. All of us.”

“Eddie,” Beverly spoke up from the back. “You know we’ll still be best friends right? Us going to college doesn’t change that. We can still have movie nights and study dates. Sure, it’ll be different because it’ll be through a screen but we will still be together. Once a loser, always a loser.”

The car fell into a comfortable silence after that. Richie’s mind always wondering to Eddie. This trip was really important to him, and Richie didn’t even know it. Eddie hadn’t told him and he hadn’t noticed. What kind of best friend is he? He couldn’t even see how worried Eddie was about the future. The future of the losers club. Of course Richie knew they’d always be together in some way, but he shouldn’t have assumed Eddie was feeling the same.

“Hey Eds,” Richie made sure to talk quietly, a conversation just for them. Eddie turned his attention from the road to Richie with a slight hum. “You know you’re my best friend right? And nothing will ever change that. Not even distance.” Eddie nodded in understanding but turned back to the window. Richie glanced at the time. They’d been driving for about 6 hours at that point, and the gas tank was getting pretty low.

“Alright. We’re stopping, we need some gas and then it’ll be Big Bill’s turn.” There was a chorus of okays as he looked for an exit with a gas station. Luckily the next one was only 10 miles down the road. He pulled off the exit and into a Speedway. “Go pee now! No accidents in my baby please!”

Everyone did their business and Bill paid for this round of gas. Richie checked the cooler to find only four more lunchables and a few flavored waters. He grabbed for the extra soda he’d packed to fill up the cooler again, making a mental note that they all needed a proper meal soon. Everyone piled back into the suv, Bill and Ben in the front, Stan and Mike once again on their middle seat, and Eddie Richie and Bev on the back bench seat. Then they were back on the road.

“Hey Eds, do you wanna watch some Netflix or something? I brought earbuds.” Eddie was in the middle of him and Bev and currently watching Bev play whatever game on her Switch. He’d been watching her since they left the gas station about an hour ago and Richie was jealous. Not of Beverly of course, just that she was getting Eddie’s attention. Richie had already listen to her explain her game to him, twice, and he wanted some Eddie time.

“Maybe later Rich. Bev is just about to beat this level but she only has like four units left. It’s really intense.” He didn’t even glance in Richie’s direction. If he would’ve, he would see the pout on his face and the hurt in his eyes.

“I don’t know what that means. What game are you even playing?” He was still pouting.

“Fire Emblem dude. I’ve already said that like five times since you’ve been back here. The new game came out and I’m obsessed. You get an X amount of fighters, they all have different abilities, and you have to try to kill all the enemies on the board. This game makes you a professor, so you have to train your students. This is a big deal. My class is about to kick ass. Now shush. It’s intense.”

“Sorry.” Eddie barely spoke as he continued watching Bev. Richie simply hung his head and plugged in his earbuds. He knew he was being a little ridiculous but he couldn’t help it. He’d spent 6 hours driving so it’s not like Eddie got much of his attention, and he deserved all of it. That just wasn’t in the cards this trip it seemed. It didn’t take long for Richie to get bored of Netflix, he was just watching old episodes of Criminal Minds anyways. Not even his guilty pleasure show could lift his mood. Looking over at Eddie once more, the other lad was still watching Beverly, but he also had his phone out on Instagram. Beverly had already finished the battle and he wasn’t even fully watching her. Yet, he hadn’t said a word to Richie. He’d be lying if he said that didn’t hurt, but he didn’t blame him. He wouldn’t want to be annoyed for hours either. Unless it was Eddie annoying him of course.

Richie went back to his own little world, turning on his ‘sad boi’ playlist, it felt fitting. He knew it was silly, but he felt like a fool. Of course Eddie would rather do anything else than spend this trip with Richie. This was his last trip with most of their friends, but Richie was going to UCLA with him. Why would he want to spend time with him? He already had to spend at least four more years with his annoying friend who made stupid jokes that weren’t even funny...and was secretly in love with him.

Fuck.

Richie’s mind was jerked to consciousness as the car came to a stop. He didn’t even remember falling asleep. With a yawn, he lifted his head off the arm of the seat. Man, his neck was killing him. As he cracked his neck he wondered how he even fell asleep lying on that in the first place. The doors were slammed open as everyone filed out one by one. Richie being the last to emerge, he caught a glimpse of the Taco Bell beside them and realized he was indeed starving.

“Lets fucking eat!” Beverly exclaimed running toward the restaurant doors. Everyone followed suit and mumbled their agreement. Eddie fell behind with Richie.

“Hey Chee. Did you have a nice sleep?” Richie didn’t even bother lifting his head as he simply shrugged. His mind was still elsewhere. He’d never admitted to himself that the things he was feeling were more than platonic but now it’s the only thing he could think of. The way he enjoyed the other boy’s attention, his eyes, his lips, his whole fucking face. He wasn’t ready to reveal his feelings so he suppressed them, even if it meant ignoring Eddie. He was sure Eddie would be relived anyways.

“Did you wanna watch Netflix after we eat? I’ve been looking forward to that Blake Anderson movie you downloaded.” Richie finally looked at him, honestly in shock that the other still wanted something to do with him. Which was a mistake. He shouldn’t have looked, then he wouldn’t have caught the sun in Eddie’s eyes.

“Nah it’s okay Eds. You can keep watching Bev play, I don’t mind.” Richie waved him off as they stepped inside.

“But I want to! Have you seen the trailer for Game Over Man? It looks fucking hilarious.”

“Oh. Sure, you can watch it. I think I’m just going to drive the rest of the way. I took a nap.” With that, Richie walked to the register to order. The other losers were already sat a table toward the back, waiting for their food. Eddie could pretend to want to spend time with him, but Richie could tell he wasn’t interested in the car. What would change that now? He had accepted it, and just wanted to drive. It helped him get away. Neither boy spoke the entire time they were eating, while the others engaged in casual conversation. If they noticed the two being quiet they didn’t mention it.

“Hey. I’m going to drive. I napped.” Richie grabbed the keys from Bill as he started toward the drivers side. He didn’t wait for a reply as he got in and started the suv. They had around 8 more hours until the reached Colorado and Richie intended on driving the entire way. It seemed like every could sense the tension but was too afraid to say anything. By the 20 hours mark everyone in the back was sleeping soundly while Richie jammed out. Everyone except Eddie. He’d been listening to Richie play half a song then change it, then listen to half another song then change it, and so on, for the past hour and a half. Richie knew he was probably being annoying, but he was more interested in keeping his mind off his own insecurities than noticing. It took another five songs for Eddie to finally snap.

“What the fuck Richard? Why do you keep changing the song?! Let one finish.” Richie didn’t need to look at him to know he was rolling his eyes, and probably pouting as well.

“Eds, did you just meme me? The meme lord.”

“First of all. No one says meme lord anymore. Second of all. We haven’t listened to a full song in hours, and it’s driving me insane.”

“I have multiple favorite songs and I love them equally. What can I say? I’m polyjamorous.”

“Ugh. Just shut up and pick a fucking song already.” Eddie turned his body to look out the window as he went silent and crossed his arms. Richie didn’t say another word, simply choosing a playlist and letting it play. This was going to be the longest five hours of Richie’s life. He hated making Eddie upset, but he didn’t want to open his dumb mouth and make everything worse. He always made everything worse...

“Hey, uh, Eds?” Richie finally broke the silence, Eddie had been staring out the window for two hours now and Richie was starting to worry. “I’m sorry about the music.” Eddie’s attention snapped to him as he turned back to him.

“That’s not why I’m upset idiot. Why are you being like this? We barely talked this entire trip! I was really looking forward to this, but now I’m just thinking it was a mistake.” Richie sneaked a glance in his direction before turning back to the road. He saw Eddie’s hurt expression and suddenly felt like an asshole.

“You made it pretty clear earlier that you weren’t interested in watching anything with me. I was just making it easier for you, by taking myself out of the equation. You can do what you wanna do now.”

“What? What are you talking about? I literally asked if you would watch it with me!”

“I know you only asked because I seemed down. But I’m okay Eds. You could’ve watched Bev play more. I didn’t take it personally don’t worry.” Richie tried to give a smile but it didn’t even meet his eyes.

“No Chee. I am worried. You’re talking non sense. I asked because I wanted to spend time with you. Dumbass. I was only watching Beverly because you needed to sleep! You’d just driven like seven hours in the early morning and I know you don’t sleep at night.” Richie’s eyes widened at Eddie’s words. He was officially speechless. Eddie wanted to spend time with him? He was just worried?...about Richie’s well-being? No way. No way Richie had misread the entire situation. No way.

“Richie. If you don’t say something I’m going to be more upset. Just being honest.” Eddie’s arms were once again crossed.

“I...don’t know what to say. I thought you seemed really disinterested in Netflix...with me.”

“I’d watch anything with you.” Eddie’s voice was so soft, Richie had to lean closer to even hear him.

“But...why?”

“Because I love you. You big dumb idiot.” Richie’s hands gripped the steering wheel as his brain processed what was just said. Platonic Richie. Platonic. He means it platonically....doesn’t he? Of course he does.

“Richie...” Eddie’s voice was soft once again as he leaned over to lay his hand on Richie’s. “When we stop, we should really talk.”

-Taglist

@richietoaster @geckolover001 @pennys-pet-kitty @aesteddie @elhopps @summerxle @mexicanqt @punkrocktozier @richietczicr @tozier-club @kristashae @princesass-theresa @dandeliontozier @doctor-lobster @queennugget3 @halfway-happy353 @reddieafterdark @beep-beep-reddie @hmufinn @stanuterus @not-reddie @curlywheelers @i-is-gazebo @temptedtozier @reddie-to-fight @girasol-eddie @mirandonsky @annoyingtozier @sedanleystanley @richieshawaiianshirts @tyrror @slingingwingingspidey @themarvelousmissmadge @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @constantreaderfool @muffin-berry @eddiekazier @reddie-to-go @did-someone-say-reddie @queen-sock

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged or removed! (Or your name changed or something)

[defectivekai]

MIKE DOES THE FIRST TASK FOR: HIMSELF

what’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

uhhh my insane use of commas. or that people don’t talk w/ actions. 

are there any languages besides english in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

none at all. to my distaste, i am monolingual. 

how often do you reach for a synonym dictionary when writing? how about mentally?

ALL the time. i am asking google for synonyms all day, every day.

how often do you need to translate your own or the other’s writing with a dictionary or google when writing and reading replies?

oh never. at least, not in a language standpoint?

do you listen to music while your write?

exclusively so. it helps keep me focused. stranger in the basement by bonecage helps me the most and spotify said i listened to it for 167 hours this year. /shrug

do you have ideal writing circumstances when you can do a lot of drafts or tackle really long ones very easily?

got me a drink. got my song/playlist that’s not too distracting ei. making me stop and want to sing along to it. no one in real life bothering me. i’m home on my desktop.

are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer? 

i want to say a night writer, but like, maybe more of an evening writer. if it’s too early, it’s hard to get the muse going. if it’s too late, i’m tired and muses ftf off.

how does tiredness affect your writing?

if i’m tired it’s far too tempting to just.... go to bed lmao.

have you ever written a serious reply intoxicated?

i don’t really used toxins so like, not really. high? yes. it’s not the hardest thing.

how much do you proof-read as you are writing vs. proof-read at the end?

i reread my reply a lot but i need to get better at proof-reading right before posting reply....

when you are writing a reply, how much ahead in the thread do you plan?

none at all. my characters don’t work that way. i can only plan ahead as far as the end of the current reply. sometimes i even write the end of the reply before the beginning, but that’s mostly in case of dialogue. some statements my muses want to jump on asap.

is there ever been a time when you’ve had to drop a roleplaying partner because you’ve found their writing style exhausting?

there was never a time i made a decision because of it, but there are past partners that i see now that they were exhausting to write with. for all kinds of reasons.

does writing roleplay things in public spaces make you uncomfortable?

oh yes it do.

what do you do after you see a person has replied? do you read it immediately, or do you wait for it to show up on the dash? do you like it, draft it immediately, etc?

it depends! if i’m not in the middle of something, like out or working, i’ll read it right then and there -- open it up into a tab to do for later. otherwise i’ll make a mental note and get to it when i have some time to myself. i used to save drafts but i don’t do that usually now. i might like some replies so it’s in there and then unlike them, but typically, i just lurk the dash and collect the tabs.

how often do you need to change the icon in your reply while or after writing the reply?

not too often. i usually pick the icon after the reply, and i match the icon to the closest piece of dialogue or the more significant piece of expression. 

do you first get in the “zone” when writing, or do you start writing and “enter” it that way?

i like to pretend i get into a zone but really, it happens when it happens, and then of course the outside world can take me out of the zone. i guess the zone is thrust upon me. 

what is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

my short attention span, i’d say.

how many drafts is a paralyzing amount?

once it hits over ten i’m like oooouch. if it’s over twenty i feel like it’s never going to happen. 

if you are writing a wrong reply that’s not working out, do you save what you have to be continued at another date, or do you scrap it and rewrite?

i kind of do both? depending on how much i worked on the first draft. i’ll save that, stop for a second and look at it later. like the next day. give my muse another chance to react.

does making icons give or take away energy to write? what about other graphics?

it’s more like i enter a purgatory where my muse is flowing gently as i work on a character’s resources. it’s a happy medium where i can kinda spend time thinking about them, but not have to think to hard. i’m just editing/making stuff. 

longest reply you’ve ever written on mobile?

i wouldn’t be able to find out but it was def a few longer paragraphs. only like, the one or two times though. i rarely do mobile.

what’s your thought process when you format? any unspoken rules you follow?

i prefer to have my gifs match the closest context text. if the end of the reply, someone said something damning and has a matching icon, i gotta put it on the bottom. i also need to put two spaces behind my ?  so that it’s easier on the eyes. oh and i match gif size w/ who i’m writing with. 

[positivity-studies]

I was tagged by my good friend @purenerd !!

Rules: Answer these 15 questions and then tag 10 people.

1. What is your degree / favorite subject?

I’m majoring in Information Technology and Informatics (specifically, I’m studying Web Design), minoring in Creative Writing, and getting a certificate in Recording Arts!! My interests are all over the place.

2. Where are you from?

I’m from the United States and I live in the Eastern time zone. That’s as specific as I’m willing to get, sorry!!

3. What motivates you to study?

I’m motivated by the people I look up to, by my friends, and by myself. The people I look up to remind me that it takes hard work to achieve goals and that nothing is easy but anything is possible as long as I work hard. My friends remind me that I can get through whatever seemingly impossible task is in front of me and support me at my worst and my best. I remind myself that I’m finally studying what I love, something I’ve dreamed for a long time, and that there’s so much ahead of me that I can accomplish as long as I keep doing my best and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. And, well, there’s also the fact that I have to keep a pretty high GPA to stay in my program. At the end of the day, though, I love what I’m studying and even though it’s difficult at times, I just remind myself of my goals, that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be right now, and that I should never give up.

4. What do you love about yourself?

I love that I dream really big and that when I care about something, I really care about something. I feel very strongly about what I love, and it’s often that passion that motivates me to get stuff done.

5. What time do you do your best studying?

Anytime from early afternoon to early evening.

6. What is your favorite TV show?

Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Place... basically anything Mike Schur writes.

7. Best self-care tip for exam season.

As important as it is to spend a lot of time studying, make sure you also take the time to do something for yourself, whether it be watching a movie you love, hanging out with friends, or taking a nap!! It’ll make exam season much less dreadful and refresh your brain before you study some more. Also, make sure you sleep enough and eat well.

8. Do you listen to music when you study?

Usually, yes. Music is what makes studying and doing homework more fun for me. Most of the time I just put one of my playlists or my whole Spotify library on shuffle, but sometimes I’ll listen to a specific album. There are occasionally times when I’ll get too overwhelmed for music and just need to work in silence, but that doesn’t happen too often. And, of course, when I’m working with friends around, I don’t put headphones in.

9. What is your favorite book?

Oh, gosh. I’m afraid to even try to answer this question!! I guess if I had to narrow it down to a few, I’d choose Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli, the Shades of Magic series by V. E. Schwab, and What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera. Yes, I’ve read it. Yes, it’s perfect. Yes, you should absolutely get it once it comes out.

10. Where do you do your best studying?

Either in the library or in my room.

11. What do you get complimented on often?

I don’t know? Sometimes I get complimented on my handwriting, though it really isn’t that great. My friends tell me I can write well, though I don’t share my writing with other people very often.

12. Where would you like to live in the future?

NEW. YORK. CITY. I’ve spent so much time there over the course of my life, and it really has everything I need: musical theater (and regular theater), concerts, good food, good bookstores, public transportation (I hate driving and would much rather depend on my own two legs and the subway to get around), and more! There are also so many opportunities there for web design, writing, and music production, so I could pursue any and all of those without having to move around. What’s funny is that if you’d asked me this same question a year ago, I would have said Los Angeles. What’s even funnier is that until a few years ago, I HATED going to New York City since I consistently got sick every single time I went. Who knows where I’ll actually end up, but as of now, New York City is the goal.

13. How long have you been active on your studyblr?

I’ve had this blog since March 21, 2016, but I haven’t been the most consistent with posting on it. My goal for this year is to be more active both here and on my new studygram : )

14. Favorite way to spend study breaks?

I love watching TV, writing, reading, and hanging out with my friends.

15. What is your favorite study snack?

I love pretzels and Cheez-Its, though I’m trying to get out of the habit of eating while I’m studying.

I tag: @tiredstudyying, @studybasil, @colbystudies, @studysmiley, @arielsstudies, @studycaffe, @studybutch, @plantsandcoffeestudyblr, @studying-simply, and @adriana-studies.

[richietoaster]

Heart Hurts So Good

Pairing: reddie

warnings: none

words: 2,362

thank you to 2/4 my beautiful betas: @killerxqueer and @reddie-to-go :)

ao3 link

Spotify Playlist that helped me write this

Eddie doesn’t remember the first time he felt like he was floating. Or, falling, maybe. He doesn’t know when his heart started leaping out of his chest, or when his eyes started to linger longer on a certain boy . Hell, he can’t even remember when he started liking boys and stopped liking girls.

He supposes that it could’ve started years ago; when Richie started slinging an arm over his shoulder, or the way he began smiling at him, or the way Eddie developed a habit of always gravitating to him no matter where they were or who they were with.

Eddie’s not too sure about this whole ‘feeling’ thing. Whatever it is, at least. He tries to push his feelings away, tries to bury it and hide it. He knows it gets increasingly harder with every look Richie gives him. Maybe it’s not just a feeling, maybe Richie is just the one that reminded him of what’s always been ignited inside of him. It gets harder, and Eddie knows it.

They’re all sitting at the lunch table, a Friday afternoon. Richie is sat across from Eddie and he hates it. Hates that he can just look up and see his pretty fucking face. He knows that he’s being way too passive aggressive about it, but he can’t help but stab his macaroni with his plastic fork the more he thinks about how fucking beautiful his best friend is and how he shouldn’t even be thinking that.

“You okay there, Eddie?” Stan touches his arm carefully.

“Fan-fuckin-tastic,” Eddie grumbles and shoves the food into his mouth. “This macaroni is good as fuck.”

Stan blinks, because, okay then..

Eddie nearly chokes when he looks up once more, seeing Richie, with what looks like a smirk plastered on his lips.

“ So... ” Mike speaks loudly, trying to clear the tension, “What’s on the agenda for the day? I was thinking we could have a boys night. Order some pizza, watch some movies, play poker..?”

“Yeah that sounds awesome. It seems...” Ben looks at Eddie. “Well needed.”

Bill sees this and chuckles, “Yeah, i-it does, doesn’t it? I’ll b-bring alcohol.”

Bev sighs, “Why do you guys have to have a boys night? Because then I’m stuck at home with nothing to do and nobody to-”

“-do?”

“Richie Tozier I will rip your fuckin’ dick off.”

“Kinky.”

Beverly rolls her eyes, “and nobody to hang out with.”

“What about Jane?” Eddie questions, “You guys have been hanging out a lot in gym, aren’t you friends?”

She goes to speak but Stan beats her to it, “Yeah, sure. They’re friends.”

“What is this, ‘pick on Bev’ day?” Bev huffs,”Yes, Eddie. Jane and I are friends...”

“Ask her to hang out then.” Eddie shrugs.

“Yeah, we don’t want you to miss out on too much fun.” Richie says, a suggestive tone in his words, “I’m sure Jane would really like that.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll ask her to hang out.”

“Great! Now we all have plans tonight.” Ben says, smiling at his friends.

Eddie returns it, weakly. He does NOT want to be any physically closer to Richie than he is right now, and if he goes to Mike’s, he’s just going to be glued to him, and he knows this. Is he still going to go, though? Yes. Is he going to act like a love-sick puppy the entire time? Probably.

Eddie shows up to Mike’s house later that night, a bottle of wine in hand. He shoves it into Mike’s hands when he opens the door. Eddie slides past him and ignores the weird look that his friend gives him.

“Ayyyy it’s Eds Spagheds!” Richie greets him with a smile and wraps an arm around Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie instinctively reaches up to grab his hand, despite that, throwing a warning look at Richie.

“I know, I know, don’t call you that.”

Eddie smiles at this.

“Alright boys,” Richie lets go of Eddie and claps his hands together, “What’s first? Poker? Movies?”

Everyone collectively agrees on poker.

An hour and a half into the game, they’ve all got alcohol in them. Ben, Bill, and Stan all on the more ‘tipsy’ side. Mike, Eddie, and Richie all nearly pissed drunk.

Richie starts being more touchy with everyone, particularly Eddie. He’s got a hand in Eddie’s hair, an arm around his middle, and every once in awhile he’ll throw his face into his neck.

Eddie can’t stand it. He can’t stand all of this touching. Not that he doesn’t love it, because he does, it’s just that he knows it’s all due to Richie being drunk. Eddie might be drunk too, but he’s touchy with the other boy because he likes him. He’s just a friend to Richie, and it makes his heart hurt even more, especially when he feels the taller boy’s lips graze against his ear when he laughs at something Ben had said. The second he feels it, shivers flow all the way down his back and down to his feet.

Eddie thinks in that moment, he thinks he know what love is.

In the morning, Eddie blinks away the sleep. He stretches, trying to sit up, but feels something heavy over his chest. Eddie looks down and sees Richie’s arm draped over him. He removes it carefully, trying not to wake him. Everyone around him is snoring away, still sleeping off their hangovers and he wishes he could stay there with his friends, but he knows if he’s not home at an early enough time, his mother will never let him hear the end of it.

Eddie bikes home as fast as he can, holding his thigh at the pocket of his sweatpants so his phone doesn’t fall out.

When he gets in the driveway of his house, Eddie wheels his bike to the garage, not bothering to put it inside. He digs out his key from his other pocket and begins to approach the front door. Before he can put the key in the slot, the door is yanked open and an angry Sonia Kaspbrak stands before him.

“Do you know how much trouble you’re in?” Sonia puts her hands on her hips.

“Mom- I- I was just at Mike’s, I stayed the night-”

“I said you could hang out, I didn’t say you could spend the night.” Sonia sighs, “come on, get inside.”

Eddie complies and opens his mouth to apologize.

Sonia grabs her son’s arm the moment he rushes past her, “Edward Kaspbrak, do I smell alcohol on you?”

Eddie’s eyes widen, “N-No mom, of course not, I-” He stops speaking and leans back when his mother crowds his space, sniffing his shirt intensely.

“Don’t lie to me.”

The silence between them is enough for Sonia to receive her answer and she pushes Eddie into the house.

“Give me your phone.”

“What?”

“I said give me your phone.” Sonia slams the door behind her and holds her hand out, motioning for him to hand it over.

“Mom, you can’t do that, I have track and school and-”

“You will come straight home all this week and you will not leave the house for the rest of this weekend, do you understand?”

“Yes, mom..”

“I’m not doing this to irritate or to push your buttons, Eddie. You know how I worry, okay? I’m doing this as a punishment. You’re only seventeen and you were drinking! Do you know how dangerous that is? Underage drinking?”

“I’m sorry.”

Sonia shakes her head, “I’m very disappointed in you. Go to your room. I’ll call you down when dinner is ready.”

Eddie nods and goes to his room without another word.

Eddie falls asleep, sleeping through nearly the whole day, but he’s woken up when he hears a knock at his door.

“Eddie-Bear? Are you awake?”

The door opens slowly and Eddie sits up, “Yeah, m’awake.”

“Dinner’s ready, sweetie.”

Sonia retreats downstairs and waits until Eddie comes down too, before she starts eating.

Eddie picks up his fork, about to dig in, but his mom stops him.

“You know we pray first, Eddie.”

Eddie nearly has to force himself not to roll his eyes. He doesn’t think he’s that religious. At all, maybe.

When she bows her head and begins to pray, Eddie doesn’t move, doesn’t close his eyes, like his mother.

“Amen,” She speaks suddenly.

“Amen.”

They eat in silence, not speaking. The two usually don’t speak as much anymore, not like they used to.

The house phone rings suddenly, and Eddie jumps up to get it, but she gives him a look. He watches his mother walk over to it, picking it up, and placing it to her ear.

“Hello?”

Eddie nearly stops himself from breathing to try to hear who it is.

“Yes, he’s here...” Sonia pauses and sighs. “Eddie, come talk to your friend.” She practically spits out the last word. He assumes it’s Richie from her tone of voice. He pushes his chair out, scrambling to take the phone out from Sonia’s hands. He doesn’t speak until she sits back down.

“Hello?” Eddie says.

“Hey,” Richie’s voice rings through. “Are you avoiding me?”

“Unintentionally.” Maybe it’s a good thing, though.

“What do you mean by that?”

“My mom took away my phone.” Eddie purses his lips. “Why?”

“Nothing, Mike just mentioned that...” Richie trails off.

“What is it?”

“Nevermind. I just… is your window gonna be open tonight?”

Eddie smiles to himself, quickly dropping it before his mom can see, “Of course. It always is.”

“Okay. I’ll be up later.”

Eddie lowers his voice, “I’ll be awake.”

The line goes silent and Eddie speaks again, “Are you still there?”

“Yeah.”

“You sound off, are you okay?”

Mike just mentioned that...

“Yeah...don’t worry your pretty little head, Eds. I’ll be up later tonight, okay?”

“Okay, sounds good.”

“See you then, Spaghetti.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Bye, Rich.”

Sonia watches her son hang up and sit back down, “What did he want?”

“Richie? Um,” Eddie stuffs his mouth with food, “Science Project.”

“Okay.”

Eddie goes to his room fifteen minutes after he’s done eating, making sure he doesn’t seem eager to leave his mother. (He is.)

He counts down the hours, knowing Richie won’t come until midnight, just in case Sonia is still awake. She never hears him come through the window, anyway.

When one o’clock in the morning hits, Eddie watches his window expectantly. After a few minutes, he sees a mop of curls poke through the curtains, and a smile plays on his lips.

“Miss me?” Richie asks, laughing at the sight of Eddie’s face.

“You wish.” Eddie pats the space next to him, a feeling of content spreading through him when Richie lies next to him.

“You got grounded?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods, “She smelled the alcohol on me almost immediately.”

“Little does she know, all of us could come see you this entire week and she would never know.” Richie laughs and turns on his side to face Eddie.

Eddie’s breath hitches when his eyes meet the other boy’s.

Another feeling erupts in his chest. It overwhelms him, yet completes him. He feels so free but it’s like his chest is almost constricting itself, cutting off his oxygen. Eddie thinks its funny how someone could go from being a stranger, to becoming a friend, then a best friend, and yet in the end, it never ends like that-- meeting someone that he automatically became attached to the hip with, and expecting him to just see him as a friend, a best friend, and only a best friend.

Who is he kidding? Definitely not himself. He’s completely infatuated with Richie, and he doesn’t know how he’s lived without him for the first ten years of his life. Eddie feels like Richie is the first chaotic thing that happened to him. He disrupted the stilled and stabilized life Mrs. Kaspbrak was trying to get Eddie to have.

Eddie takes a breath, inhaling deeply, and breathing out slowly. No, he doesn’t think he knows what love is. He can feel it. It’s ignited in him, all throughout his body. Nobody has ever made him feel what Eddie feels just by looking at Richie.

“What’re you staring at?” Richie questions, shaking Eddie from his thoughts.

“You,” Eddie says, feeling suddenly confident despite his cheeks reddening.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Richie reaches over and tucks a strand of his hair behind his ear. Eddie grabs his hand, and he audibly chokes. “Oh my god,” he says. He can feel the tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

“What’s wrong, Eds?” Richie touches his cheek, thumbing down his jawline.

“I-I think.. I think you’re the one.”

Richie blinks at him, saying nothing for an entire minute, and Eddie thinks he’s going to go insane if he doesn’t soon.

“Rich.. Say someth-”

Eddie doesn’t like being cut off. And he’s always hated  it. However, he’s not minding it much. No, not when what’s interrupting him is Richie’s lips pressing against his.

Eddie is crying, and he’s not meaning to, but he can’t help it. The love of his life is kissing him hard and slow and it’s everything he’s ever wanted.

“Eddie,” Richie laughs against his lips, “I’m so, so in love with you.”

“God,” Eddie shakes his head, “Look at us- we’re a mess.”

They laugh into each other’s mouths, kissing each other harder than the first time.

“We’re not a mess,” Richie disagrees, “We might be stupid, but not a mess.”

Eddie nods, his nose bumping against the older boy’s. “I don’t know how I’ve gone seventeen years without kissing you.” He doesn’t, really. His need to be kissing Richie is like needing oxygen to breathe.

“You don’t have to wonder any longer,” Richie places his lips on Eddie’s again, holding his face in his hands. He moves one hand to Eddie’s leg, pulling it over his waist, the need to be closer getting stronger and stronger.

They kiss for hours, it seems. Their lips bruised, along with both of their necks and chests. It’s all they need in the moment, and Eddie thinks it’s all he’ll ever need.

“I don’t think I’ll ever have to wonder again.”

[stanathieluris]

Can you do more of Stan/bev/richie content,like the night richie tozier almost died? That would be great. 😊

you got it anon!! i love bev + richie + stan being the best of friends

y’all can read the night richie tozier almost died here

SO:

-Bev n Richie were already p tight within the losers bc they go for smoke breaks together and what not.

-Stan and Bev are close too, since Bev sometimes is the only one that gets Stan’s biting humour and Bev compliments Stan whenever he wears a new shirt or whatever.

-and c’mon, Stan the Man has been one of Richie’s best friend since forever.

-But somehow??? The three of them have never??? hung out alone???

-So one friday evening the losers decide to go to the Aladdin but oh!

-Mike can’t go bc his grandpa called him last minute to help at the farm, Bill wasn’t already coming bc he was on babysitting duty, Ben “really wanted to go guys but i just remembered i have to do this report and it’s due monday and i gotta get it done I’m so sorry” and Eddie sneezed that morning in front of his mother and has been quarantined the whole day.

-And so it’s just the three of them.

-And they have a spectacular time together???

-They watch a rom com/chick flick and spend the whole movie dragging the main characters and the plot.

-They almost get kicked out of the cinema, but that’s beyond the question.

-From that day on they start spending a lot of time together.

-They go for midnight drives together whenever one of them have a shitty day at home to the highest spot in town and scream and blast music.

-Bev is always taking pictures of them when they’re not looking bc damn!! Are her boys pretty or what??

-When Stan comes out, around junior year, Richie and Bev become the “Stan Uris Defense Squad”.

-Shopping dates!!!

-They go to thrift stores together and try ridiculous outfits and take so many selfies.

-Like, wacky glasses, neon windbreakers, feather boas, all that kind of junk.

-Stan, wearing three hawaiian shirts on top of each other: “hi, I’m Richie Tozier and I want to fuck your mom!”

-”Holy shit dude this is going on twitter” ”It’s not funny if it’s accurate Stanley!”

-Bev threads flowers on their hair in summer and in return Stan and Richie make her flower crowns.

-They know all the gossip in Derry High, something they use to their advantage whenever someone messes with any of the losers. Needless to say, everyone is kinda intimidated by them.

-They share a Spotify account and make playlists for each other. Sometimes they are cute, sometimes they’re not.

- “I swear to GOD Richie, if ‘What’s New Pussycat’ starts playing again I’m gonna MURDER you”.

-Their snap stories? A-fucking-mazing.

-They’re usually hilarious junk of Richie doing ridiculous dares proposed by Stan and Bev giggling while she records it, aesthetic pics of them and party videos.

-Bev: “Welcome to Bible studies! We’re all children of jesus!”

*zooms in on Stan doing a body shot off Richie* “KumbayaAAH”.

-stuff like that.

-They go to concerts once every month or so, usually local garage bands from the town next to Derry.

-The three of them in smokey eye and eyeliner!!! 

-Bev and Richie are scared it might not be Stan’s scene but holy shit he looks so alive??  Bouncing all around the place and kind of following the song eventhought none of them know the lyrics.

-They’re the kind of people at a concert that seem to be in their own world and draw people into the mosh pit and somehow become friends with the band after the show.

-Stan smoked his first blunt w them, which lead to Stan crying because bird would never know how special they are to him. Richie recorded it and uses it to blackmail Stan.

-They are known in the only Denny’s at Derry for always bursting in at the most sporadic hours of the night to order waffles. 

-The waitress knows them as Marshmallow, Trashmouth and Birdboy bc the first time they came in they were lowkey high and faked to be superheroes with secret identities.

-At house parties they always do shots together, mainly so they all reach that tipsy-almost-drunk point at the same time, but also so Richie doesn’t drink too much bc he’s a lightweight.

-They take care of each other bc they love each other sm okay?

-They have heart to heart conversations quite frequently, and they always end up laying together and/or crying bc damn they love each other so much.

-i just

-bev richie n stan taking care of each other, being an unstoppable trio

-i love them ok

taglist: @turtleneckrichie @mikexelevenfluff @richietoaster

[kaypeace21]

I have a question but I just want to say first that I love your theories. They’re very well thought-out and interesting. Anyway, I wanted to ask if you could explain how Mike is queer-coded? I’ve seen you mention it and I’ve seen others talk about his attraction to androgynous El, but is there more? Thanks!

ALOT MORE! I talked about it here in the past- but without getting too much into s3 (since I’ve already talked about s3 byler extensively).I’ll just have links for everything I noticed in s3 at the bottom of this post. In regards to s1 and 2, Mike was heavily coded as queer. But most significantly this was done in s1- arguably he was more queer coded than Will ever was. I won’t get into all the details (we’d be here all day) but the highlights, at the top of my head are-

s1

- Mike in his his basement has a red heart being propelled by a rainbow.

- 4 separate characters said El looked like a boy, but Mike doesn’t care! Even one of the men thought El might be the missing ‘Byers boy’. When El loses her wig , Troy said “she doesn’t even look like a girl” to the cops. But Mike just calls her “really pretty”

-Nancy says “I thought you were acting weird, but I thought it was because of Will” And Mike responds “I thought you were acting weird too I thought it was because of Steve … Do you like Jonathan now”?” Nancy: “No, do you like Eleven?”. They literally compared the explicit love triangle between Steve/Nancy/Jonathan to the Will-Mike-El dynamic!

- Mike literally uses gender inclusive pronouns when talking about crushes using the word “someone” (3 times), and embarrassing himself because he can’t articulate the difference between friendship and romance. When he could of simply given the 80s heteronormative  answer of ‘when a boy likes a girl’.

Mike: “ you go to school dances with someone. 

You know someone that you like” 

El: “a friend?”

Mike: ‘not a friend uh … uh someone like a” (gives up and kisses her)

-Mike’s mom said “ What’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. I just … want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to HIDE anything from me” (she even emphasizes the word ‘hide”  (which is heavily queer coded)

- when Will ‘dies’, “we can be heroes” by David bowie (a bisexual singer) plays,   “And we kiss as though nothing could fall and the shame” is the lyric that plays when Mike returns to his house and cries in his mother’s arms over the ‘death’ of Will. Do I have to explain how ‘kissing and shame’ are queer-coded . And how such a lyric is oddly romantic- if we’re supposed to see their bond as nothing but platonic XD

-his dad jokes “Absolutely not” *turns to wife* “our son with a girl?”.

- when Lucas makes fun of his crush on EL, Lucas gets down on one knee  and says “ I love you so much, will you marry me?” and literally 1s later, we’re introduced to the bullies and the idea (for the first time) that Will is ‘gay’, and Mike is in the forefront of the scene and unlike his friends he is THE ONLY ONE physically assaulted (like a gay-bashing) .  They leave Lucas and Dustin unharmed. Even though Lucas just proposed to another guy- which should have gotten him a beating by the homophobic bullies.

It’s supposed to subconsciously hint Mike is queer like Will, and likes Will. The first interaction with the bullies, they mention Will being ‘gay’ right after they mention Mike’s crush on androgynous El and have a guy propose to Mike. Mike says to “ignore them” ( the homophobic remarks) but is assaulted anyways. And when asked what happed he doesn’t want to tell El the details cause he’s ashamed . 

2nd time the bullies talk about Will, Mike is once again in the forefront, unlike his straight friends who are in the background . But this time Mike initiates the confrontation), as the bullies say Will is “flying in fairyland with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay”. Mike was literally on the verge or tears at this comment (despite being happy a few moments earlier , telling the others to ‘act sad’ because they’d look suspicious other wise). But this is the comment where Mike snaps and pushes Troy back (because he took it personally/wanted to defend Will). 

The framing of Mike once again being in the front and snapping at the homophobic remarks (these gifs don’t do it justice, just rewatch the scene -Mike eyes water at the remarks). Then the last time the bullies appear , Mike jumps off the cliff and “flies like a fairy” (like Troy said) thanks to El . Troy at the police station even uses the word “fly” not levitate.

- Mike proclaiming “I’m the only one who cares about Will!” Seems like something a kid with a crush might say ( because obviously his other friends care about Will). But he thinks he cares the most.

-Mike sneaking out to find Will, as Steve sneaks in to Nancy’s. They both even make eye contact (and pretend not to have seen each other).

- they share dinosaur toys , in s1 and 2 they appear to be the only ones with dinosaur toys.

- The s1 mom hug scene where Mike feels he lost Will is paralleled in s3 - signifying how he lost him a 2nd time.

- Mike in the 1st ep being the one to insist on looking for Will in the rain (callback to s3). But he never went looking for El when he saw her through his window? Even when Mike saw Will’s dead body, the second he heard his voice he convinced his friends to help rescue him!

- You remember the binder (from s1) that Mike keeps, filled with 100s of Will’s drawings, and how he caresses the drawing after thinking Will was dead. That’s totes platonic.

s2

- Will in all 3 seasons identifies as a wizard. But in s2 Mike (the paladin) says Will is a cleric. Meaning this reflects how Mike actually feels about Will. In d&d, they have similar moral values, powers, and generally need and depend on each other in the lore of d&d. Paladins have similar healing powers to clerics, but clerics have stronger healing abilities - which is interesting since Mike has always been viewed as the protector. But to Mike Will has helped him (maybe deal with the loss of El and other trauma) , just by being there. And if Mike says Will is a cleric,despite Will still identifying as a wizard in s3, it shows how deeply Mike actually feels about Will. It shows he views Will as one of the only people who understands him and views him as a healing presence and his moral compass.

“ strength of conviction gave many paladins a sense of common fellowship but did not always endear them to others. In many cases, paladins did not get along quite as well with other non-paladin adventurers, with the exception of clerics with similar beliefs.”

“A Paladin tries to hold to the highest standards of conduct, but even the most virtuous Paladin is fallible. Sometimes the heat of emotion causes a Paladin to transgress his or her oath (of honesty, courage, compassion, honor ,and duty). A paladin who has broken a vow typically seeks absolution from a cleric who shares his or her faith or from another paladin of the same order. After a rite of confession and forgiveness, the paladin starts fresh.

-Mike stands next to Will under the rainbow poster

- Mike forces Will to dance with a girl, but you literally see Mike’s shocked expression like  ‘what,why’d I do that ?’ And after this, they show Dustin looking sad about Max/Lucas dancing and then they have Mike get into the frame (next to Dustin) and look sad when Will/girl are dancing in the same exact frame as Max/Lucas. As they switch between these 2 shots.

- All the mileven byler parallels or byler scenes were almost ALL initiated by Mike. If the parallels were meant to show a one sided love triangle (on Mike’s end). They would of made Will the instigator not Mike! Parallels can be watched here , start at 6:50)

-Mike initiated the “crazy together’ line- and in s3 he said ‘blank makes you crazy’. So subconsciously he knew the line had romantic connotations.

-Mike initiating the hand hold (with a zoom in shot) and in the show this is only done for romantic pairings. Also Mike being the one to initiate the ‘arm thing’ which is generally romantic. But in s3 , Lucas also does this, saying “I am spending quality time with my girlfriend’

-Mike saying, asking him to be his friend was the “best thing I’ve ever done”

-Mike constantly following Will around, asking if he’s okay or biking to his house to check on him. In s3 running out to chase Will to the garage and apologizing, and running into a storm to apologize a 2nd time.

YOU SEE A PATTERN! Mike is whipped! And is the one constantly chasing and pursuing Will, not the other way around! Before s3, people always portrayed Will as the (stereotypical- problematic trope of ) a sad-pinning-gay in a one sided love with Mike. It’s like people didn’t even watch the show (and just assigned tropes/stereotypes they wanted, that weren’t actually there). Will (probably too shy or scared to- because of homophobic taunts) never initiated a single byler moment- it was ALWAYS Mike!!! If people were actually objective, they would of thought it was Mike who was the one pinning! I talked about it here. 

We literally only saw Will pine or be jealous in s3 when Mike was in a relationship with El/when they fought.  

The cannon Spotify playlists

called ‘Mike’s basement beats’- These are character playlists that Spotify and St worked on together after s2.

-his first song is “small town boy” an 80s LGBT anthem about living in a small town and being queer and bullied. Every band member was openly gay.

-his 11th song is ‘don’t you want me’ from a “celebrate your gay pride” album

S3

I’m not repeating my literal essays so here are the links to pretty much all my s3 byler meta.  (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

- brief s3 mentions) it’s implied Will and Mike go on movie double dates all the time (right after he makes out with El). He celebrates the holidays (generally associated with introducing s.os) with Will/El. The breakup with El is treated comedically - and all Mike does is complain and burp on the couch. The byler breakup is serious (with the backdrop of rain)while Mike was visibly upset he hurt Will and apologized twice almost immediately . Running to the garage and then into the rain and banging on his door (s2 callback). The “it was the best thing I’ve ever done “ shed scene was shot purposely more romantic than the pool shed scene of “you’re the most important thing in the world to me”. The fact he think “blank makes you crazy”,and he used a similar line on Will in s2. The fact that Mike equates falling in love with girls as a part of growing up and his love for El as something “old people” say. While his affections for Will , he believes are childish (like d&d) and something he has to grow out of. The “I love her” scene was treated comedically. The last Mike/Will exchange vs Mike having his eyes open and not kissing El back . Not remembering he said “I love her”, and dismissing it as something he said in the heat of the moment. Mike looking back at the Byers house , then flashing to Will crying, than flashing back to Mike hugging his mom. Then those scenes having a monologue about not wanting feelings to change but how it’s inevitable.

Also we see in s3 (in El’s room) the return of the heart being propelled by a rainbow.

No hate, but I’m honestly flabbergasted when people think Mike is straight when he’s literally MORE queer coded than Will. Is it just my autistic brain seeing things as obvious, that others easily miss- or just people refuse to see it … or heteronormativity getting in the way?

gif credit : (not sure about the first 2, tell me if they’re yours so I can give credit), last 3 by  eggogorgon , the last gif by cath-avery

[bobbystompy]

My Top 120 Songs Of 2017

Previously: 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

The one saving grace is we do have 12 fewer than last year.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs for an artist, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track; not the ultimate factor, but it typically makes sharing the music easier

Speaking of… each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check any or every out for yourself

Oh, also, off the suggestion of Mike Gilkes -- and a few others -- I made this whole thing into a Spotify playlist, which you can peep here (includes 114 of the 120):

Let’s go?

120) Big Sean & Metro Boomin f/ 21 Savage - “Pull Up N Wreck”

Some mediocre, listenable rap made by dudes who know a bit better (well, at least 2/3rds of them).

119) Maroon 5 f/ Future - “Cold”

This song makes me feel mostly nothing... but the first minute of the video does have some solid Adam Levine alone-in-the-car acting.

/oh my god it has 119 million views

This was a lot easier to enjoy when I assumed it went unnoticed. Bonus points for the Wu-Tang shirt at the end.

118) Bleachers - “Hate That You Know Me”

Closed out 2017 undecided as ever on one Jack Antonoff. Should we hate him for dating Lena Dunham? Somehow respect him more? Give him mega credit for his big time pop songwriting collabs? Or is that a ding? Is he a nerd or the coolest guy in the cocktail bar? I do not know the answers to any of these questions, and this song is merely OK.

UPDATE: THEY GAWN

117) B.o.B f/ T.I. & Ty Dolla $ign - “4 Lit”

Real bad song with a mindless/terrible/misogynistic chorus. Yet... something about professional musicians sitting in a room and coming up with “4 Lit” as some sort of escalated to catchphrase to “lit” is just hilarious.

116) Prophets of Rage - “Unfuck The World”

Sure, this hits a lot of the same beats as Rage Against The Machine’s “Sleep Now In The Fire” from 18 years ago, but in these increasingly polarized, political times, I welcome their voice.

115) Kacy Hill - “Like A Woman”

This song is so chill and ethereal that it seems almost unfeasible for my punk/hip-hop/XX chromosome havin’ ass to completely sync with its wave.

114) The Decemberists - “Ben Franklin’s Song”

What happens when pop indie teams up with the lyrical stylings of Lin-Manuel Miranda? Well, this. I’m not sure if The Decemberists drop f-bombs in any of their other songs, but it pleases me to think it only happened here.

113) Offset & Metro Boomin - “Ric Flair Drip”

Mostly here for the beat.

112) Hurray For The Riff Raff - “Hungry Ghost”

A cool song that’s hard to put into a box. Indie? Pop? Rock? Forget labels, just enjoy.

(Minus a few points for the low hanging “girl/world” rhyme)

111) Wavves - “Dreams Of Grandeur”

I was pretty let down by the new Wavves LP, but this song sounds enough like the old stuff to be a net positive (despite being, like, 70 seconds too long)

110) Culture Abuse - “So Busted”

Culture Abuse got on my radar with last year’s all-timer, “Dream On”. It was an unrelenting, robotic pulverization. “So Busted” is more of a drug comedown; a ballad, even. While “Dream On” wanted to seek you out and kill you like a terminator; “So Busted” just wants a cuddle.

109) Trey Songz - “#1Fan”

This song is so dumb and funny and pseudo competent. Really not sure how the R&B guys get away with this shit.

108) The Killers - “The Man”

Is this in a movie? It should be in a movie. It’s kind of, like, a better version of what Arcade Fire has been trying to be.

107) New Lenox - “Protest Sweater”

A good song for the ending 2017 -- or any year, really -- and its run time (1:30) would make Joyce Manor proud.

106) Logic - “Everybody”

This is really good, but it reminds me so much of Kendrick that it becomes distracting.

105) Gorillaz f/ DRAM - “Andromeda”

Didn’t spend enough time listening to the new Gorillaz record, but I actually put the blame on them: it was long, man. So while I woulda loved to pick one of the songs with a cool cameo (hi, Vince Staples!), this is the one I actually had around the most. It’s all we’ve come to expect from this cartoon band -- kinda British, kinda futuristic, very undisturbed. Also, if it gets you back to the album before me, I heard that Damon Albarn told all collaborating artists to record their parts like the world was ending tomorrow.

104) Dropkick Murphys - “Blood”

If you know me at all, you know I historically have not been a fan of this band. But for whatever reason, this one connected -- bagpipes and all.

103) Captain, We’re Sinking - “Books”

CWS was never, ever going to top the falling-apart-desperation of 2013′s “The Future Is Cancelled”, but this song comes pleasantly close.

102) IRONTOM - “Be Bold Like Elijah”

My buddy Crooks rec’d this band, and the guitars give me Queens Of The Stone Age vibes in the best possible way. A bio on lastFM compared them to Arctic Monkeys, and you know what? I agree with that, too.

101) Jidenna - “A Bull’s Tale”

This song feels primed to explode and makes you wanna rip the shirt off your chest; only we don’t know if the bomb’s gonna blow in the middle or at the end.

100) Jeff Tweedy - “I Am Trying To Break Your Heart”

Yeah yeah, the original version of this dropped in 2002, and yes, it’s just a cover by the dude who originally sang it. I... do not care. It made me appreciate the confessional regret all over again.

99) Talib Kweli f/ Yummy Bingham & Jay Electronica - “All Of Us”

It was all bad just a week ago

Kweli and Jay Elect are a collab made in conscious rap heaven, so this song was more than a pleasant surprise.

98) Rise Against - “House On Fire”

This song could have been on “Revolutions Per Minute”. Or maybe I’m just saying that because of the hand grenade lyric in the chorus.

97) HAIM - “Want You Back”

Can’t imagine there being a lamer song on this list. HAIM and Bleachers should get in a wuss rock beef that ends with pistols.

96) The Bigger Empty - “By Its Own (So What)”

My producer plays bass in this band. This song is super solid, and, maybe most importantly in these completely divisive times, unoffensive and approachable. Kinda Hush Sound-y.

95) Little Big Town - “Lost In California” (note: link is to live version)

From the bros and broettes who brought us “Day Drinking” comes this much more subdued track. If you squint, it doesn’t really even seem like country. Granted, if they sang “Alabama” instead of “California”, you could probably call that claim out immediately.

94) Lana Del Rey - “Heroin”

Another beautiful/dreamy song from an artist who’s near-perfected that niche.

93) Wavves & Culture Abuse - “Up And Down”

Wavves and Culture Abuse have already made appearances on this list, and we haven’t even cracked the Top 80. Fortunately, their collaboration scored a little higher than their individual outputs. Shout out to their uplifting outro “I’ll just get high and I’ll die alone”.

92) The Chainsmokers & Coldplay - “Something Just Like This”

This song played at my gym all the time, and I was positive it was Coldplay. Then someone told me it was The Chainsmokers. Then I looked it up on YouTube, and it says “The Chainsmokers & Coldplay”... so what’s the deal, assholes?

91) Lil Peep f/ Lil Tracy - “Awful Things”

I hadn’t heard of Lil Peep when I found out of his passing in 2017. After looking up some pictures, I was nearly 100% positive his music was not for me. This was incorrect. I haven’t really listened to songs that sound like his; it’s kind of like rap that treads this line of being bad while also kinda sounding like alternative rock; destructive love song that doesn’t flinch.

90) AFI - “Dark Snow”

Nothing new, but Davey Havok can still sing circles around almost anybody.

89) Dashboard Confessional - “Love Yourself” (link is to live, partial version)

Well, Dashboard covered Biebs, and we all lived to tell the tale.

88) Garrett Dale - “2016 Was...”

This song would be a blast as a singalong in a late night hotel room. There’s something calming about celebrating -- or at least acknowledging -- everything sucking.

87) Katy Perry f/ Skip Marley - “Chained To The Rhythm”

Got more than a few issues with this song, but it’s catchy, so they’re mostly forgiven. Even though it’s Katy Perry, I was pretty surprised to see it racked up 444 million views.

And seriously who the hell is Skip Marley?!

86) The Ramblin’ Boys Of Pleasure - “Glug, Glug, Glug”

Now is probably a good time to plug the lead track from my band’s b-sides record that came out this year (ten years in the making, baby!). Mandatory listening if you’ve ever bonged brandy, partied in Champaign, or counted down in a country voice.

85) Charly Bliss - “Glitter”

It’s been nearly a year, but it’s still somewhat difficult to calibrate this singer’s voice. Is it a little too saccharine, too childlike, or just perfect? You be the judge.

84) Emperor X - “Wasted On The Senate Floor”

This singer is real god damn frenetic.

83) Father John Misty - “Total Entertainment Forever”

/obligatory “yes, this is the one with the Taylor Swift lyric” reference

FJM has such a pro’s pro voice and makes super sound music... but it’s also kinda hard to have an overall opinion. The more 50-50 I get, the more I think it’s not all that great. The video is a microcosm. Like... why is Macaulay Culkin paying Cobain? Is this a commentary on capitalism? Oooh, nah nah nahs are nice! As divided as I still am, I’m pretty positive this song is good-if-not-great.

82) St. Vincent - “New York”

This song is further proof that soft, radio friendly music can still benefit from a well placed “motherfucker”.

81) Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness - “Dead Man’s Dollar”

As long as Andrew McMahon’s project is called “Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness”, I will make fun of him like clockwork.

This song is nice. I sometimes sing “I want Thon Maker” when he says “I want to make a” in the chorus.

80) Kele Okereke - “Streets Been Talkin’”

Kele’s most impressive feat was sneaking “bae” right into the chorus without me noticing until literally right now.

79) Rick Ross - “Summer Seventeen” 

How the hell did this dumbass song get so high up on the list? I have no explanation. Classic Roazy though -- aim high, fake it till you make it. When I started my new job in August, IT reset my password to “summer2017″, and I had this song’s hook in my head nearly every time I typed it in. All told, a pretty hilarious way to start a work day.

78) Michelle Branch - “Best You Ever”

This song sounds so dark and sultry, but I’m not totally sure why. Branch rules.

77) Calvin Harris f/ Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean - “Feels”

The best way to ruin this song for anyone is to point out how much the hook sounds like Katy Perry singing “Don’t be afraid to catch fish”.

76) Morrissey - “Spent The Day In Bed”

This is a very low maintenance lyric video. So you can either make fun of that or the “I spent the day in bed / I’m not the type, but I love my bed” line.

75) Red City Radio - “If You Want Blood (Be My Guest)”

The “We don’t need a god damn thing from you” chorus is a little punk cliche to win me over, but the Oklahoma City reference (”where our dreams come true and die”) is the line I’ve been waiting for since I found out RCR was from there.

74) Sam Coffey & The Iron Lungs - “Talk 2 Her”

The closest we’ll get to a new Clash song in 2017.

73) Bad Cop/Bad Cop - “Womanarchist”

Factoring in the 2017′s themes (#MeToo, Harvey dead, etc.), this has to be the song title of the year. I smiled ear-to-ear watching this music video.

72) The Movielife - “Mercy Is Asleep At The Wheel”

Hey, The Movielife reunited!

71) The Rocket Summer - “Gone Too Long”

Unlike that lazy ass Morrissey, The Rocket Summer gave us a lyric video that basically passes as a legit music video.

70) Miguel f/ Travis Scott - “Sky Walker”

Me, every time I listen to this song:

“Ooh, beat is pretty solid.”

“Ah yeah, the hook’s good. I thought I really liked this song though...”

/falsetto part

“AW YEAH.”

69) Queens Of The Stone Age - “The Way You Used To Do”

Had never known about the Josh Homme/Elvis comparisons, but after hearing this, I totally get it now. Also: god damn it, man.

68) Macklemore f/ Skylar Grey - “Glorious”

What can we do to make Skylar Grey more famous? She Ginger Rogers’d for Em on “SNL” -- seriously, she played piano and sung Dido, Beyoncé, and Rihanna hooks (that’s a solid ass trinity!) -- has unarguably awesome songs, and never takes anything off the table. I honestly don’t care if she has another hit... let’s just, like, all Venmo her five bucks or something.

One of my fav music videos on the list so far. Be as skeptical of Macklemore as you want, but when his grandma offers him a drink (haha) then says she wants to “do it all” with their day together, it warms the hearts.

67) Direct Hit! - “Blood On Your Tongue”

Direct Hit! continues to be the best modern version of Green Day, The Ramones*, and themselves.

(* - without being Ramones-core)

66) Boyd & The Stahfools - “Party Penguin”

I’ve been in the game for a long while, but, for the first time in my career, I finally was part of a music video. If you told me it was a 2Pac parody that advertised craft beer, I’d, well, I’d believe you. We got Dave Hernandez on the hook, Mike Healy as Dr. Dre, and yours truly as Makaveli.

And all jokes aside, “On vacation like Bev D’Angelo” is one of my favorite penned lines.

65) Rancid - “Telegraph Avenue”

I like when Tim sings about grabbing his left-handed guitar.

64) Big Sean f/ Jeremih - “Light”

Sean Don made a forgettable 2017 album with many throwaway tracks -- but “Light” ain’t one of ‘em. I liked this song even before the touching video cemented its power.

63) blink 182 - “Parking Lot”

This is that weird mix of what makes all new blink really good and really eh at the same time -- Skiba involved (for better or worse), inspired Mark (for better or worse), and Travis’ overplaying (for better or worse). It’s for sure easier if you just turn your brain off and go with it.

Why does he reference Chicago in the verse then California in the pre-chorus?

I SAID “OFF”.

62) New Found Glory - “Your Jokes Aren’t Funny”

This song doesn’t break a ton of new ground, but it’s got this circular, easy chorus that keeps me coming back.

61) Teenage Bottlerocket - “Goin’ Back To Wyo”

Similar to Red City Radio writing about OKC, I can’t get enough of TB writing about their home. Did I blast this song while driving across the entire state alone this summer? Do you know me an ounce?

60) Frank Turner - “The Sand In The Gears”

A little dissatisfied with the current administration? Frank may be from across the pond, but he’s with you on this one, man. One of my favorite parts of this song is when he breaks the rhyme scheme just to angrily say “I thought that we were winning the war against the homophobes and the racists”.

59) Billy Bragg - “Not Everything That Counts Can Be Counted”

Billy Bragg is here for all of us, with perspective, wisdom, and insightful guidance in tow.

58) Dave Hause - “The Flinch”

Send this one to an old flame if you’re hoping, you know, to maybe rekindle.

57) Selena Gomez f/ Gucci Mane - “Fetish”

That’s right -- “Bad Liar” got beat out by this significantly less popular single featuring one of my least favorite rappers.

/looks up play totals

”Fetish”... 130 million

“Bad Liar”... 214 million

Comparably popular, I say! For me, this one is all about the chorus -- and that beat’ll get you swayin’.

56) Jay Electronica - “Letter To Falon”

‘Cause who gon’ save them babies? / And finally put a definite to all those maybes

Death, taxes, maybe death again, and Jay Electronica never releasing a full length album. Our man has been on Roc Nation for nearly ten years. I hate him so much. /anxiously awaits his next move

Jay Electricity in his zone on this one; so comfortable, in full operation within the confines.

55) Laura Jane Grace - “Adore”

I don’t know who Amy Shark is, but LJG covered her song and punted my heart into Lake Michigan.

54) Russian Girlfriends - “Antidote”

Upbeat, direct song that starts kinda Metric-y with the riff but then gets more pop punk as it progresses.

53) Brian Fallon - “If Your Prayers Don’t Get To Heaven”

My fiancee laughed when I looked up how to play this song on the guitar and the guy who tabbed it out wrote “Typical Brian Fallon open chords” in the intro.

52) Cloud Nothings - “Enter Entirely”

If “Womanarchist” is the ‘best’ song title of the year, “Enter Entirely” is certainly the coolest. And please don’t let the very boring music video fool you -- this song gets after it, man. If you are a fan of rock music, it would blow me away if you found this song remotely objectionable.

(After seeing CN open for Japandroids on back-to-back nights this November, it feels criminal to have such a slow song represent the band, as their drummer is the Russell Westbrook of the indie scene. That dude does not tire and comes off as more machine than man.)

51) Conor Oberst - “Napalm”

Oberst released a 10-song album in 2016 that was super brooding and piano-y... then he released another album in 2017 (17 songs) that had every track from his previous record and seven new ones. Kind of a weird move, no? This is one of those seven; suffice to say it’s a little more upbeat.

50) Sorority Noise - “No Halo”

You could tell me this song came out in 2002, 2007, or both -- but not 2017. How is this not a time capsuled rival of Taking Back Sunday or My Chemical Romance? I don’t know, but if you like a lot of death, this one’s for you.

49) N.E.R.D f/ Rihanna - “Lemon”

Let’s lighten the mood back up with some RiRi rap. My buddy Crooks’ take: “That's how every 2017 hip-hop beat should sound.”

48) Kesha - “Praying”

It’s damn near impossible to talk about this song without talking about The Note. It occurs at 4:21, and it will make you a little faint.

Kesha dusts herself off and gets beyond empowered in this one. This song could legitimately soundtrack the entire #MeToo movement. When the drums kick in halfway through, you’ll be ready to fight back too.

When I’m finished, they won’t even know your name

47) The Smith Street Band - “Laughing (Or Pretending To Laugh)”

This soft, hopeful love song is almost *too* respectful when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex. I’m not sure there’s a more endearing 2017 lyric than “And I don't wanna marry you just yet / But at least let me get you a cider / And I don’t even think I’d have to pay for it / Hopefully there’s a couple left on the rider”.

46) Run The Jewels - “Legend Has It”

Whenever I think of this song, I will always have that image of El-P holding up that gun to the bunny’s head. This song is braggadocious, each line one-upping the previous in perpetuity. Man, they probably rule live.

45) Vic Mensa - “Say I Didn’t”

Vic Mensa's Roc Nation debut (CAN YOU HEAR ME AT ALL, JAY ELECTRONICA?!?!?!?!?!?) was real strong, and this one gives you a good taste of what he’s about. He’s intense but controlled and even gets a little soulful. And depending what sphere you come from, you’ll either be extremely more or extremely less interested after he drops a Weezer reference. If that gives you trepidation, maybe the Nate Dogg namedrop will reel you back in?

44) Kendrick Lamar - “HUMBLE.”

I like Kendrick Lamar and will always recognize his talent, platform, and body of work (there’s a real case to be made that his “Control” verse killed hip-hop, and it’s just been an animated zombie ever since). Having said that...

He doesn’t always make it easy. The all caps song titles, the weird high pitched flow, the massive reliance of “bitch” in his choruses... yet, he’s the same dude who begs for stretch marked butts and body positivity. I don’t know, man. By the time he hits the “I make a play fucking up your whole life” line, I’m nearly all the way back in.

Last complaint: that organ-y keyboard thing could be so much louder. The beat almost feels diet because of that decision.

43) PKEW PKEW PKEW - “Cold Dead Hands”

This song is about how you can’t freeze this band to death, because they’ll party their way out of the situation.

42) Weezer - “Any Friend Of Diane’s”

This song puts me in a trance; they sing the same chorus lyric a million times, and I still almost want more.

41) Taylor Swift - “I Did Something Bad”

If this song isn’t a hit in 2018, then I do not know anything. For as uneven and questionable as her new singles were, this song has none of that. By the time she’s rolling on the tremendously magnetic “over and over and over again” part, you’ll feel like it’s 2009.

Maybe the old Taylor is still alive after all.

40) Best Ex - “Someday”

What’s that, you want your pop with a lot less baggage? This song is currently at 1,042 views, which is further proof of no justice in this world. I remember grocery shopping with this in the headphones, and you woulda thought it was the happiest moment of my life by the expression on my smiling, dumb face.

39) White Reaper - “Judy French”

“There are no good new rock bands wahhhhh”

Nah -- you just suck at finding music when it’s never been easier in human history, I guess?

38) Anti-Flag - “The Criminals”

This band has always lived in this dramatic life-and-death world, and it’s been going on for so long, that it’s like their vision of what they were always rebelling against was willed into existence.

37) French Montana f/ The Weeknd & Max B - “A Lie”

My dislike of French Montana is so high that I sometimes think about having to answer for saying something heinous about him. Kinda like when Kevin Garnett was accused of calling Charlie Villanueva (who has alopecia) a “cancer patient.”

KG’s all-time response:

“I am aware there was a major miscommunication regarding something I said on the court last night. My comment to Charlie Villanueva was in fact ‘You are cancerous to your team and our league,’" Garnett said in a statement to the media on Wednesday.

Hahahaha.

French, you are a cancer to hip-hop and our league. His verse even references stupid Karl Malone, because why wouldn’t it? The good news is we have The Weeknd on the hook *and* in the first verse, so you can basically just pretend it’s his solo song with a few regrettable cameos.

36) The Penske File - “Oh Brother”

The Penske File make it look effortless sometimes. After hearing this song and doing a Malört shot with their singer, I have higher hopes than ever for their 2018 full length.

35) The Front Bottoms - “Don’t Fill Up On Chips”

TFB’s new album didn’t give me everything I wanted in terms of uptempo bangers, but the lyrics, sentiment, and craftsmanship are all still very much present.

34) Vince Staples - “Big Fish”

The Juicy J chorus might not win a Pulitzer (”I was up late night ballin’ / Countin’ up hundreds by the thousand”), but Vince is rapping invincible, and by the time the lyrics call back his monster single (“Norf Norf”), you won’t be questioning anything anymore.

33) Julien Baker - “Shadowboxing” (link is to live version)

I know that you don't understand 'Cause you don't believe what you don't see When you watch me throwing punches at the devil It just looks like I'm fighting with me

I swear, Julien Baker might be one of the only people on this planet with the power to shut us all up and listen.

32) Paramore - “Fake Happy”

Paramore is a band that does dumb shit all the time. Infighting, legal drama, horrible makeover after horrible makeover. Seriously, this is real:

But through it all, there’s that unbreakable Hayley voice, and it’s like everything is gonna be OK again. I mean, no, it’s not -- but let’s still enjoy these fleeting moments, full blown pop transition or not.

31) Nothington - “Cobblestones”

This song briefly sounds like Lucero before turning into no nonsense despair punk.

30) Lorde - “Perfect Places”

Such a phenomenal album closer; great to have her back in the pop music fold. Car, headphones, party, whatever -- this song goes all around you.

29) Remember Sports - “I Liked You Best”

If Kesha’s high note in “Praying” was pop music’s peak vocal moment in 2017, I’d like to nominate the “You made this me-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-hess” (2:37) part as punk’s.

28) Phoenix - “J-Boy”

This band makes such gorgeous music.

27) Drake - “Free Smoke” (no link)

Drake’s full album output, in minutes, for the last four years:

2013: 59 minutes 2014: N/A 2015: 108 minutes 2016: 81 minutes

And this doesn’t include stray singles, diss tracks, or cameos (2014 had “0 To 100″, for example). What I’m saying is, despite high quality material, Aubrey has saturated us with music for nearly half a decade. So even though I dig him lots, it was like “Really?!” when I heard he was releasing 2017′s “More Life” and “WHAT” when I found out it was another 81 minutes (the same length as 2016′s “Views”). Though the record is stylistically very different -- I keep hearing people use the word “grime”, though I have no idea what it means -- it’s still got bars. My favorite stray lines (they add up):

- “More life, more everything” - “I dunk text J-Lo / Old number, so it bounce back” - “Hilton rooms, gotta double up / Writin’ our name on a double cup” - “I fall asleep in sororities / I had some different priorities” - “Women I like was ignorin’ me / Now they like ‘Aren’t you adorable?’ / I know the question rhetorical” - “I make too much these days to ever say ‘Poor me’” - “I wanna move to Dubai / So I don’t never have to kick it with none of you guys”

But, it wouldn’t be Drake without making fun of him some. The song beings with, well, him sampling himself at an award show. The sample: 

And more chune for your headtop So watch how you speak on my name, you know?

Which begs the question: did he do the weird Jamaican accent knowing he was gonna sample it? It treads this weird genius/calculated doofus line. All I know is it makes me laugh.

26) Tigers Jaw - “Favorite” 

This song could make me pensive and unhappy on the sunniest of days.

25) Tee Grizzley - “First Day Out”

Like many, I first heard of Tee Grizzley from a LeBron James Instagram workout video. It was an easy sell: Detroit, ferocious beat, and the dude goes *hard*. I got a little too excited and emailed my hip-hop friends: “What the fuck is this? This is GOOD.”

This was before I realized he kinda sounds the same in every song. It’s no matter -- we’ll always have “First Day Out”, a brief time in June 2017 where I thought Tee Grizzley could be the next to run the game.

I can’t even be in public with my hoodie on

24) The War On Drugs - “Strangest Thing”

It’s very difficult to write about The War On Drugs without mentioning how transcendent it is to listen to them in the car. Everyone is right about that, but, for me, I also have to mention how much this dude sounds like Dylan. People say Springsteen, but I hear so much Bob. You don’t necessarily have to get “past” it, but you do kinda have to get used to it. Once you do, the lead guitar will carry you into the clouds. This music will make you contemplate and reflect.

23) Foxing - “Night Channels”

Let’s keep the mood contemplative; you almost feel sleepless if not completely locked in to this one.

UPDATE: This dropped in 2015, /sigh

22) Craig Finn - “God In Chicago”

This is more of a movie than a song -- and the visuals agree. Focus in on the lyrics, take in the story, and then do it again soon because you’ll catch new wrinkles each time. One of the year’s best videos, for sure. Punk News phrases it well: “Here he’s made a solo album of losers who have no idea they’ve already lost.”

21) DJ Khaled f/ Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper, Lil Wayne - “I’m The One”

No one wanted you to know he had sex in 2017 more than DJ Khaled. He made his infant son Asahd the “Executive Producer” for this video. Why? Because he’s an idiot. Khaled’s still existing fame continues to confound. He’s more faux-platitudes than man at his point. So why do the best artists in the world collaborate with someone so seemingly unintelligent? I don’t know, but this song bangs and was probably my Song of the Summer. We got JB on the hook, a dumb-but-amusing Quavo*, Wayne trying to gain footing, and Chance running across the finish line backward with Best Verse title belt. But Khaled won’t let you forget about him, blaring DJ tag and all. This song suffers for that, and it’s all his fault. 

(* - his ad lib of just repeating everything becomes charming once you start to get Stockholm Syndrome with the song)

20) Ed Sheeran - “The Shape Of You”

What a 2017 for the man behind the year’s best (super successful) pop song.  At the turn of the calendar, I barely knew who he was, but before we all knew it, there was a legitimate public outcry because he was on “Game of Thrones” for, like, two minutes. What a time. Oh, also, the “Come on, be my baby...” bridge gave me some “Real World: New Orleans” acid flashbacks.

Great meme, take us out.

19) Minus The Bear - “Last Kiss”

If the shattered neon heart didn’t give it away, this is a “the relationship is definitively over” breakup song. Seeing them play it at Riot Fest made me miss my late friend Luke; I wish he could have heard this.

18) Hot Water Music - “Never Going Back”

I’ve always maintained Chuck Ragan plays guitar and sings songs like a running back. Well, this song carpe diem’s me enough to play actual running back*.

(* - jk, would never do this unless it was against very small children)

17) Lucky Boys Confusion - “Good Luck”

My hometown heroes released their comeback album in 2017, and I’m not sure any track sums up the effort better. By the time Adam sings “Burned out, they call us / Screw ‘em, we got endless memories / Punk rock and the polish / I hope it gave you something to believe”, there are no dry eyes left.

(And yes, this could totally be an AM Taxi song, but with Ryan Fergus’ killer-fills-only drumming, I’m glad it wasn’t.)

16) Hodera - “Baltimore”

This song would likely have a Top 5 objective approval rating of any on the list.

...“The Wire” forever.

15) Iron Chic - “A Headache With Pictures”

It ain’t heavy, it ain’t heaven

If Hot Water Music is carpe diem, what is Iron Chic -- seize the life?! My favorite description of the band came from Sam Sutherland, who tweeted: “Whose day has already been derailed by the unavoidably weighty introspection of listening to the new Iron Chic record.”

They are a certified run-through-brick-walls outfit. One of my final 2017 memories of this song was subtweeting “Now I know” the night I got engaged and having my buddy Ricky think she might’ve declined the proposal. May have to include a ring emoji next time.

14) The Flatliners - “Indoors”

Had to listen to this, like, five or six times before its brilliant greatness overtook me like falling into a river. The chorus is so, so heartfelt.

Don’t sleep on the video, either (especially the end).

13) Sylvan Esso - “Die Young”

Though I have tickets to see them for the first time in 2018, I am not mega-versed in the catalogue of Sylvan Esso. But this feels like their best song. Imagine if Romeo and Juliet turned out OK.

12) Oso Oso - “Shoes (The Sneaker Song)”

Jade from Oso Oso would likely want all of the above stylized in lowercase -- but this ain’t Jade’s list. This was my favorite new band of 2017, and I do believe they made the year’s best album. It’s early-2000s emo at times, pop punk at others, and all ear candy.

11) Sincere Engineer - “Corn Dog Sonnet No. 7″

Staying in the new artist lane, I proudly introduce Sincere Engineer. This band sounds like if Modern Baseball had a little sister. By the time singer Deanna Belos sings “I’m still learning how to be”, you want to pat her on the back and give her all your best advice.

Fantastic music video -- and she confirmed to me this past weekend that it’s real mustard, not puffy paint (“I have a towel that is all yellow from cleaning it up”).

10) new.wav - “Girls”

Alright, so stick with me on this: new.wav is the band, covering The 1975′s song “Girls” in the style of “Enema of the State”-era blink-182. Confused? Yeah, I was too, but check it out. Maybe more impressive than the arrangements/performance is how they were able to match blink’s production style -- no easy task.

9) Jay-Z - “Family Feud” (starts around 5:30; partial version)

Shawn Corey Carter wants to get right with everyone -- America, his peers, and, of course, within his own home. And though I may never understand the “New n****s is the reason I stopped drinkin’ Dos Equis” lyric, I’m on board with about all else. Similar to the Oso Oso record, “4:44″ is such an album that it feels unfair to single out a song to represent all of its parts. Stripped from the LP, the song does not hit as hard, but in the groove of the record, it’s the apex. And despite Hov seemingly desiring peace, the song does have more than a few call outs:

- “My stash can’t fit into Steve Harvey’s suit” - “And old n****s, y’all stop actin’ brand new / Like 2Pac ain’t have a nose ring too” - “Al Sharpton in the mirror takin’ selfies / How is him or Pill Cosby s’posed to help me?”

In the latter stages of his career, it’s hard to call everything Jay does ‘necessary’, but “4:44″ definitely checked that box.

8) Rozwell Kid - “Wendy’s Trash Can”

Vacillated all year between this one and “Michael Keaton” and literally flipped a penny my cousin Maggie loaned me to decide. “Wendy’s Trash Can” was heads.

7) The Weeknd - “Reminder”

This one got backdoored in as a latter single from The Weeknd’s 2016 album. One of my favorite parts about Abel is how little he has had to change to succeed. Sure, it’s silky smooth, but he hasn’t sacrificed the drugs, darkness, or ego that should offend (but doesn’t because it he pulls it off so well). After bragging early in the song about he won a kids award for singing about cocaine, he calls out peers for biting his sound, blings out his entire crew, and, well:

When I travel 'round the globe, make a couple mil' a show And I come back to my city, I fuck every girl I know

/clutches pearls

6) The Bombpops - “Be Sweet”

The guitar riff in this song is why I fell in love with punk music. Also, super cool story behind the lyrics:

“'Be Sweet' is an homage to our dear friend, the late Brandon Carlisle of the band Teenage Bottlerocket," vocalist Jen Razavi told AP. "Back in 2010, we were partying in a hotel room with Brandon and Ray Carlisle. There was a guitar in the room and Brandon was showing us an idea he had for a song. He had written it for his wife, but he told us we should play it and change the lyrics to 'getting rad with my boyfriend.' He wrote down all the lyrics on four sheets of hotel notepad paper. Since then, the melody and the chord progression were forgotten, but I still had the lyrics. So we wrote our own version of the song in the studio and used every single lyric that Brandon had written down.

Did I mention the video has an “In Bloom” feel? Stop reading, go listen.

5) Action Bronson - “Let Me Breathe”

Action Bronson ain’t givin’ nothin’ up. This is my pick for rap song of the year. It’s got TV brags (”I got two shows, I’m about to pitch another”), a tight chorus (”Let me breathe for a minute / White Range Rover blowin’ trees all in it”), and whimsy shit too (“Honey bouncin’ up and down, she nearly broke my dick”). Ghostface’s disciple is having more fun than just about anyone.

4) Japandroids - “North East South West”

Only a Canadian band could get me to care this much about my own country. The Vancouver duo penned an Americana ode to the road -- but there’s a twist... they talk about their cities too. For every New Orleans, there’s a Toronto. For every California, a Vancouver.

Maybe they’ll be the ones to end all the border wars.

3) Alex Lahey - “Every Day’s The Weekend”

This is the only submission on the list I’d feel comfortable calling a perfect song. Relatable themes, a chorus that’ll tangle you up, f-bombs in all the right places, and every part maximized. She has this way of weaving between cool confidence and youthful insecurity, all in the matter of one verse.

2) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Cut To The Feeling”

When it comes to “Call Me Maybe” and its legacy, I do not fuck around. This song gets really, really, really close. Just watch this dude.

Queen Carly blessed us with another one. The chorus soars, arms go up, and clouds are your closest companions.

1) The Menzingers - “After The Party”

It's the little things my mind commits / To etch behind my eyelids

When this song dropped, my buddy Dave Rokos called it his favorite Menzos song ever. That felt like high praise, but man, he might be dead on. “After The Party” rips me in half with its lyrics of palpable desperation:

Like a kaleidoscope in vibrant hues I navigate around your tattoos Said you got that one on a whim when you were breaking up with him And that Matryoshka Russian doll That lines your shelf from big to small What a way to start anew To shed your skin and find the old you 

If Carly’s chorus flies, this one holds us down like gravity. You feel everything, you feel nothing, you feel full yet voided, but after all of this -- the life, the party, the friends, the bars, the experiences, the nights, the lights, the fights, the city you live in -- it’s still her and you. Or him and you. Or whatever it is you come home to at the end, when it’s finally quiet.

[never-a-tale-of-more-poe]

Chapter 5: Wine Me Up and Watch Me Go, Go, Go

Warning: This chapter contains alcohol use, mentions of abuse, and sexual situations.

"Yeah? Are you there? Say hello to my partner in crime, guys." Alex  said cheerfully into the phone. She could practically feel Spencer's discomfort through the phone, and it was such a glorious feeling.

"Toby, what the hell is going on?" Spencer's voice came out shrill and panicked.

"Oh, relax, luv. Toby, you know what to do, right?" Alex's eyes darted around the empty hallway of the Radley.

"Yes," Toby replied.

"Good. Don't fuck me over."

Alex hung up, erased the call from her burner phone, and slid her keycard into the door. It beeped and Alex swung the door open.

"There you are! Is everything OK with your Mom?" Aria asked.  She, Mona and Hanna each sat in an armchair around a crackling fireplace, while Emily sat curled up on a small loveseat.

"Oh, yeah. She just had a question about one of our clients," Alex rolled her eyes and settled down the plushy, eggplant-colored armchair next to Aria's. "Our work is never done. Alex glanced around. "Okay, why are we short one blonde? Where's the Queen of Mean?" "Careful, Spence," Ali said. She had seemingly appeared out of nowhere from behind Alex. "Bitchiness runs in our family."

Alex twisted around in her chair. Alison's arms were full of various liquor and alcohol bottles. "You've come bearing gifts. How noble of you, Ali."

Alison laughed and handed everyone a bottle at random, except for Mona, who wasn't allowed to drink, one of the conditions of her release. It worked out pretty well, because Mona had agreed to keep an eye on the twins, who were sleeping in their bassinets on the other side of the room.

"Thanks, Ali," Aria said, uncapping her bottle of Smirnoff Raspberry. The vodka burned her throat on its way down.

Alison sat down next to Emily and put her arm around her girlfriend.

"Were you guys fucking earlier?" Hanna eyed Alison and Emily. Her vision was blurry and her head spun, but that didn't stop her from downing half a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade in the time it took the others to open their own drinks.

"Hanna!" Aria hissed. "You don't just ask—" "Yep," Alison interrupted, taking a swig from her bottle. "Got a problem with that, Hanna?"

"No," Hanna shook her head. "I was just asking…"

"Relax, Ali. No need to bite Hanna's head off," Mona added. "Jeez."

Alex took a sip from her beer. "Let's play Truth or Dare," she suggested. Her eyes fell on Aria, and she looked so hot drinking a bottle of Smirnoff, that Ashe wanted to kick everyone out, throw Aria down on the bed and completely ravish her. God, Alex. Settle down. You'll get there.

"Sure," Emily nodded. "But we should probably keep it G-rated…"

"Boring!" Mona sighed.

"Yeah," Hanna agreed, with a scoff. "We're not in middle school anymore. But what happens in this room stays in this room. Deal?" Everyone agreed, and Hanna grinned. "Cool. I'll go first."

"I'll go first," Alex announced. "It was my idea."

"Fine," Hanna rolled her eyes and took a long swig from her bottle.

"Hmmm.." Alex surveyed each of the girls. "Okay, Ali. Truth or Dare?"

"Truth," Ali responded.

Alex hummed. How boring. "Okay, let's just jump right in to the fun stuff. Craziest place you and Em have had sex?"

"Spencer!" Emily gasped.

"Yeah!" Hanna giggled. Aria raised an eyebrow, but looked at Ali curiously. Even Mona looked interested in the answer.

"Uh…" Alison blushed and glanced at Emily. "Well…"

"Don't!" Emily pleaded. "Oh, my God, Ali, don't. She'll kill us."

That got everyone's attention even more, and everyone started talking at once.

"Tell us!" Mona sniggered.

"Oh, God, what did you guys do?"  Aria said, leaning forward in her seat expectantly.

"Was it in the locker room?" Alex questioned.

"Was it in Ali's classroom?" Hanna asked, with a smirk. "Please tell me it was on Addison's desk. She's such a cu—"

"Hanna!" Emily groaned. "No, it wasn't in Ali's classroom. And it wasn't in the locker room. It wasn't anywhere at work. Not our work, anyway…" Now, both Alison and Emily were red with embarrassment.

"Just tell us!" Alex exasperated. "Come on!"

Alison glanced at Emily once more before mumbling under her breath.

"What?" The rest chorused.

Alison cleared her throat. "I-It was….it was on Hanna's desk."

"My work desk?"  Hanna spluttered. "MY WORK DESK?"

Everyone giggled and Emily buried her head in her hands.

"That's amazing," Alex snickered.

"I'm not even surprised," Mona admitted. "It's actually kind of hot."

"Wait…" Hanna said slowly, and everyone looked at her. "Is..is that how Caleb's laptop broke?!"

Emily lifted her head up.. "Sorry," she muttered. "We were going to replace it, but…"

"We don't like him," Alison stated bluntly.

"Fucking thank you," Hanna sighed happily. "God, he was pissed. It was great. He blamed me for it, and he…." she trailed off. "Anyway, can I go before you, Ali?"

"Sure," Alison shrugged.

"Wait…" Alex's eyes narrowed. "Han, did Caleb hit you?"

"No!" Hanna responded, much too quickly. Though she looked uncomfortable, and Alex noticed her hands were shaking.

"Hanna…" Aria said softly. "You can tell us."

"It was only once," Hanna grumbled. "He thought I broke his laptop…" "That doesn't excuse him hitting you!" Emily gasped. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why is he still alive?" Alison said, a scathing look in her eyes.

"I'll kill him," Mona snapped. "I will kill him." She got up and squished down next to Hanna, wrapping her arms around her friend. "Oh, sweetie. You should have told us…"

"God, he is such an ass, " Alex murmured. "I'll be right back." She got up and headed into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her. She sat down on the toilet, waited a minute, and flushed. Then, she pulled her phone out of her pajama pocket and one of the speed-dial buttons she'd assigned earlier. Alex leaned against the sink, and turned the faucet on so the girls wouldn't hear her.

"I need you to do something for me," Alex said, as soon as the person on the other end picked up.

"What now?"

"Don't take that tone with me," Alex growled quietly. "Caleb Rivers apparently likes to throw his girlfriend around. Take care of him."

"Sure. Injure, maim or kill?"

Alex smirked. "Surprise me, darling." She hung up, turned off the faucet and sauntered out. "Sorry," she said, taking her seat. "Han, are you okay?"

Hanna had curled up into a ball and was slowly sipping from her almost-empty bottle. She exhaled and glanced up at her friends. "Can we just continue our game? I don't want to talk about it."

"Sure, Han," Mona nodded. "It's your turn."

Hanna grinned and her eyes settled on Aria. "Truth or Dare?"

"Uh, Dare?" Aria said meekly.

Alex smiled. That's my girl. She took a sip from her drink. It made her head swim pleasantly; it was the first time she really felt relaxed in a long time.

"I dare you to give Spencer a lap dance," Hanna smirked.

Alex choked and spat out her drink, the liquid dripping down her shirt. "Excuse me?"

"What?" Aria gasped.

"It's not they've never thought of it before," Alison whispered to Emily, who giggled and shushed her.

"Okay," Aria said, standing up.

"What?" Alex squeaked. "I – I mean…"

"She has to do it," Hanna exclaimed. "It's a dare."

Before Alex could object further, Aria was in her lap with her arms around her neck. Her breath smelled like raspberry vodka, and it made Alex dizzy.

"Hi," Aria grinned.

"H-hey," Alex replied shakily.

And…" Hanna cheered. She pulled up her Spotify playlist on her phone and selected a raunchy pop song. "Go!"

"I don't even know how to give a lap dance, but…" 

Aria shrugged and started to gyrate her hips around. She swung her body in a circle and brought her lips to Spencer's ear. "God, I suck at this," Aria laughed breezily into her ear.

Alex swallowed. From this position, she could see directly down Aria's shirt. And she didn't have a bra on. "O-Oh, I don't know about that…" Merlin, kill me now. Sweet Jesus. It took everything in Alex to not cop a feel.

Aria slid her knee between Spencer's legs and pushed herself up so her other knee was on the other side of Spencer's leg. She smiled at her and arched her back, then slowly brought her body forward, her hands crawling up Spencer's stomach.

Alex could see down Aria's shirt again and she shut her eyes. Kill me, kill me, kill me.

"And, stop!" Hanna grinned. "I've seen better," she giggled.

"I've had better," Mona grumbled under her breath.

Aria laughed, and slowly untangled herself from Spencer, returning to her chair. She folded her legs beneath her and took a long gulp from her bottle. For some reason, she felt nervous. Spencer just looked so incredibly sexy from her spot in her lap, and Aria had wanted to do nothing more than kiss her.

"Uh, it's your turn," Alex said softly.

"Oh, right," Aria swallowed, with a quick glance at Spencer. "Uh, Mona, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," Mona looked bored.

"I dare you to make out with Hanna for fifteen seconds," Aria ordered smugly.

"Okay," Mona shrugged, like it was no big deal.

"Wait, wha---" Hanna started, but her words were cut short Mona pressed her lips to hers.

The first thing Hanna noticed was the softness of Mona's lips. The brunette tasted like coffee and the salt from the pretzels she'd been eating earlier. She gently cupped Mona's cheek and instinctively leaned into her.

Emily and Alison glanced at each other.

Alex raised an eyebrow. Well. This is interesting. I can use this to my advantage..

Mona pulled back with a small smile. "Not bad, Blondie."

Hanna stared at Mona, her lips tingling in the wake of Mona's kiss, and her head spinning. And Hanna was pretty sure it wasn't from the alcohol.

"Your turn, Mona," Aria said, clearly pleased with herself.

"Huh? Oh, right!" Mona glanced at Emily. "Em, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare, I suppose," Emily said.

Mona's lips spread into a smile. "Okay. I dare you to….spend the rest of the night topless."

"Whoa there, Rosemary Kennedy." Alison held up her hand. "Uh, no way."

"Yeah!" Emily agreed. "There's no way in hell I'm getting topless in front of you guys."

"Hmmm…" Mona kept her gaze on the couple and tapped her manicured nails against her cheek. "What have you got to be nervous about?" she asked, sitting back and crossing her legs at the ankles. Her eyes dropped to Emily's chest. "You clearly have the best rack out of all of us."

"Hey!" Hanna crossed her arms. "What about mine?"

"Mona, enough," Aria sighed. "They don't want to."

Mona glanced at Hanna. "Sorry, Han. From what I can tell, Emily's boobs are pretty fucking great."

"Damn right they are," Alison replied haughtily. "I can promise you that, Mona. Pick a new dare."

"Let's play a new game," Aria suggested, hoping to break the tension.

"Actually," Alex cleared her throat. "I'm getting really tired. I think we should call it a night."

"Noo," Hanna whined. "I'm having fun. Let's do what Aria suggested. Let's play a new game. Fuck. Marry. Kill. I'll start. Um…” Her eyes scanned her friends’ blurry faces. “Spencer! Fuck, Marry, Kill: Em, Aria, Mona. Go." Alex ran her tongue over the back of her teeth. “Uh..“ Goddamn it. She cleared her throat and swallowed her nerves. “I guess I would fuck Emily —”

“Watch it, Hastings,” Ali joked affectionately, while Emily blushed. “I can see that,” Aria giggled. “You’re hot, Em.”

Mona just rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. We all know Emily is fucking otherworldly." 

“Okay, guys, let me finish,” Alex said, with a laugh. She paused to take another swig from her bottle. Warmth flooded her and she didn’t know if it was from the alcohol, or the company she was in. “Anyway, fuck Emily, marry Aria, –”

At this Aria grinned and ducked her head, while the others barely even blinked, like they expected that answer. “Kill–” Alex’s eyes flitted up to Mona and their eyes locked.

Alex’s lips twitched into a mysterious smirk, and which Mona returned with a sly grin of her own. “–Mona,” she finished. “Sorry, Mona. No hard feelings?”

Mona held Spencer’s gaze while she sipped from her water bottle. “None whatsoever,” she murmured with a grin, once she’d finished and replaced the cap. 

"Here, I think we could all use some more alcohol," Alex said. She got up and made her way over to the ice bucket the bottles were kept in. She handed out two to each girl, sans Mona, and sat back down.

“Your turn, Spence,” Hanna announced excitedly. “Come on!”

“Relax, Hanna,” Mona nudged the blonde lightly in her side.

Alex leaned back against the armchair behind her and stretched out her long legs. “Okay, let me see…” 

Alex surveyed the girls silently for a moment, when an idea popped into her head, and a grin touched the corners of her lips. “Aria. Fuck, Marry, Kill: Hanna, Emily, Alison.”

"Uh…." Aria mashed her lips together. "I don't know," she replied honestly. "Fuck…Hanna, marry Emily, kill Alison?"

A smug look flashed across Hanna's face, while Alison looked hurt. 

"I'm sorry!" Aria apologized, noticing Alison's expression. "I wouldn't kill any of you. You're all my best friends."

"Oh, whatever," Mona waved her hand dismissively. "This is a stupid game." 

But they continued to play, until each girl had been named for each option at least twice. All the while Alex kept serving everyone drinks until they had drained every bottle Alison had brought up with her from the bar downstairs.

"This is bo-ring n-now," Hanna murmured through a hiccup.

"Yeah, let's play something else," Emily agreed.

"There's a game we sometimes play at the office," Alex said casually. 

"It's not really all that fun, but it's good for working on social relationships and your own self-esteem issues…"

"What is it?" Aria asked. She had long since finished her bottle, but her eyes were glassy and her shirt had slid down her shoulder. Alex didn't bother to tell her.

"We go around in a circle and say one compliment to everyone and one negative flaw we believe that person should fix," Alex explained, taking a sip from her drink.

"I don't know…" Emily bit her lip. "That doesn't sound like a good idea."

"Yeah," Mona nodded in agreement. "Let's all just head to bed."

Alex shrugged. "Yeah, maybe Mona's right. I don't think I could handle what you guys say about me, either."

Mona's eyes narrowed. "What?" she asked, her voice sharp.

Aria glanced between Spencer and Mona. "Maybe we should play," she said. "It could be good for us, right?"

Alex grinned at Aria. "Thanks, Aria."

Aria smiled back.

Mona exhaled loudly. "Fine."

"This will do us a world of good," Alex murmured. "You don't have to pick the person next to you. Just say something positive and negative to each person, and the last person you pick goes next. There is only one rule. No one can speak out of turn. That is, only the person who is next can speak. Mona, do you wanna go first?"

"Whatever," Mona mumbled. "Okay, uh…Alison. I am loving your change in personality, but honestly, you really fucking hurt me back when we were kids, and you can still a bitch."

Alison's mouth dropped open, and she tensed, but didn't say anything. Emily placed her hand on her shoulder.

"Um, who's next?" Mona glanced around the circle. "Uh, Aria, I guess. Aria, you are ridiculously creative to the point of me being envious, but your relationship with Ezra is both disturbing and sickening. Fucking Christ, are you that insecure?"

Alex glowered. Anger bubbled through her, but she bit her tongue. You're a fucking twat, Mona Vanderwaal.

Aria's eyes widened and she choked back a sob. It's not sickening. Is it?

Mona swallowed, but decided to power through. "Okay, uh, Emily. You have the biggest heart out of all of us, but you're still a pushover."

Emily tensed and smacked her lips together. What a bitch.

Mona ran her tongue over the  back of her teeth. "Okay, Spencer.."

Alex raised an eyebrow. Give me your best shot, you sniveling cunt.

"Your intelligence is goddamn impressive. I mean, you're almost as smart as me, but you really need to stop being such a condescending bitch."

Alex gritted her teeth, but simply nodded. Oh, Mona. Sweet Mona…

"And, Hanna…" Mona glanced at her best friend. "Hanna, your eye for fashion is a gift. You truly need to share it with the world, but…" 

Mona paused. "You need to learn to think for yourself. You can't always make your decisions based on what other people want. Stop being a follower and become a leader."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence before Hanna spoke, her voice shaky. "U-uh, okay. Um, Ali, you're a great mother to Lily and Grace, but sometimes I still think you're going to stab Emily in the back, and if…if you break her heart, I swear to God, I'll kill you."

Alison's eyes widened. I would never hurt Emily. What the fuck, Hanna?

"Um, Emily," Hanna played with the rim of her bottle anxiously. "You're really such a sweetheart, but…you are kind of a pushover.."

Emily's eyes glistened with tears and she quickly blinked them away.

"Mona, you're one of my best friends and always will be, but there's some part of me that I don't think can ever forgive you for what you did…"

Alex could almost hear Mona's heart breaking, and it was a lovely sound.

"Spencer.." Hanna glanced at her uneasily. "You're practically a genius, but I feel like you think less of me, and it hurts when you correct me all the damn time."

Alex's smile faltered. Jesus, Spencer. You correct her all the time? No wonder Hanna is insecure around you.

"Aria…"

Aria looked up at Hanna warily.

"Aria, you're a badass, but you can be really selfish when it comes to Ezra."

Alex tightened her grip on her armchair.

"Okay," Aria coughed, her voice breaking. "Hanna, you're beautiful, but you've been such a fucking bitch to everyone lately, especially Spencer. And it needs to fucking stop. Mona, you be one of the smartest people I have ever known, but I think you have a really warped view of reality. I don't think you should have been let out of the hospital yet."

She paused to take a breath. "Emily, you're fiercely protective, but you fall back into old habits with Ali around. Don't become her puppet again." Her eyes cut to Alison. "I know you have changed for the better, but I can honestly say that everything has happened to us is directly your fault. And Spencer.."

Alex tensed, her stomach twisting anxiously.

"Spencer, you're one of my best friends, but…you need to learn to let people help you every once in a while. We can take care of ourselves, and it isn't your job to save us all the time."

Then, before Alex could even move, it was like everyone's built-up anger and hurt feelings exploded out of them at once. Everyone started yelling at each other, a few harsh words were said, and hurtful names were tossed around. The girls became so loud that both twins woke up, crying.

And it was the sound of Lily and Grace crying that made everyone fall silent. Alison and Emily rushed over to their daughters and started to comfort them. They gathered their belongings and left without a word to each other or anyone else, and Alison made it a point to slam the door behind her. A second later, the door to their room opened and closed.

Mona and Hanna were next to leave, with Mona guiding a very intoxicated and now-hysterical blonde to their room. She paused in her dragging to flip Spencer off, and slammed the door to their room louder than Alison had.

Aria was silent for a while, watching as Spencer cleaned up the mess everyone had caused. She swallowed hard. "Spencer?" Her voice cracked. "Do you think I'm selfish?"

"What?" Alex dumped the empty bottles of alcohol into the small wastebasket. "Of course not!" The brunette walked over to Aria and wrapped her arms around her. It was then that Aria started to cry, overwhelmed with emotions: anger at Ezra for abandoning her, anger at Hanna and Mona, worry over Ezra's wellbeing, and anger at herself for allowing things to get this far.

"I – I don't love him," Aria croaked. It was then, right there, that Aria knew what she said was true. She didn't love Ezra. Had she ever? Maybe she had, a long time ago. But she hadn't for even longer.

"Aria," Alex swallowed. "There's something I need to ---"

But she was cutoff mid-sentence when Aria pressed her lips to hers.

[damnthatnoise]

Independent Or In Deep Water | Article

- Written By: Robert Timothy -

The picture above sparked a series of tweets from El-P about how fans of Run the Jewels should show their support, and it got me thinking about the genre of music that I love so much.

I might not be the oldest Hip-Hop head on the block, but now that I make a living, I do everything that I can to support the artists that I love (that includes buying albums, merchandise and concert tickets); furthermore, I would never tell anyone that they shouldn’t buy an album to support an artist – just because they had the option of getting it for free. Unlike popular Rap and Hip-Hop, Independent Hip-Hop artists (except for say a Chance the Rapper) depend on the die-hard fans that dig to find new artists and explore new sounds; these are the fans that buy anything and everything they can to show love. After UGHH.com closed, Blueprint stated in a very poignant tweet, “For many artists, labels, & websites, trying to build a financially viable career is like trying to build a house on swampland”. I completely agree with Print, and I feel like the declining state of independent Hip-Hop can be attributed to the digital music era, the popularity of playlist listening and the current generation’s sense of entitlement and instant gratification.

Music is universally accessible in just about any form imaginable, but the digital era has had a profound and undeniable effect on the music industry. When websites like UGHH.com start closing, it can only mean one thing: the market for hard copies of records and merchandise is drastically down. I had Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony, E. 1999 Eternal in second grade. Back in fourth grade, I’ll never forget harassing my dad so that he’d take me to buy a copy of Ready to Die (“Mo Money, Mo Problems” was the jam). I’ll certainly never forget September 11th, 2001; yes, the Twin Towers went down and forever changed the lives of Americans forever, but Jay-Z also dropped The Blueprint on the same day. I went to Best Buy right after school that day and picked up a copy of the CD. Remember when Jay-Z dropped his “swan song” – The Black Album – back in 2003? Yep, me too; I also copped that on the day that it released. I still regularly go to my local record store and pre-order tangible copies of records because I thoroughly enjoy perusing the liner notes. Ever since I got an iPhone two years ago; however, I’ve been pre-ordering and purchasing albums from the iTunes store regularly because of sheer convenience. Just last year, I easily bought fifty to sixty albums on iTunes; that’s not including physical copies of albums I bought. I have always found a great deal of joy in picking up a record on the day of release and fully taking it in. Not all music fans are like me, though. P2P programs and torrents have created a “black market” for listeners to pirate gigabytes of music in minutes. Unless you’re a household name like Drake, Jay-Z, or even Jadakiss, illegal downloading will no doubt affect your bottom dollar. Even though torrent sites like The Pirate Bay constantly get taken down, it seems like they always find ways to cleverly circumvent the law of the internets. Even sites like SoundCloud and YouTube have loopholes; there are now applications that make it possible to rip YouTube videos and SoundCloud playlists. With the advances is digital technology and apps for smartphones, services like Pandora, Spotify and Tidal are migrating a new generation of listeners towards playlist preferred listening.

           Even though Pandora, Spotify and Tidal are much better mediums for music consumption than illegal downloading, they still only pay artists fractions of a cent per stream. It should also be mentioned that these services only truly benefit artists that are popular by culture’s standards; the only way to truly be profitable from a streaming based is to generate millions – even billions – of song streams. Part of me feels like the generation that grew up on full-length albums is fading away; music fanatics such as myself enjoy listening to classic albums like Liquid Swords, The Infamous or The Low-End Theory in their entirety. The new generation of music listener – for the most part – only wants the newest Ri-Ri single or whatever “banger” Nicki Minaj just made with Drake. They only want the singles and top 40 hits; they don’t give a shit about the other fourteen songs on the album. I openly admit that I subscribe to Spotify Premium, but it’s only used to decide if I like an album enough to buy it. If I dig the album, even a little bit, I will go to the iTunes or my local record store to purchase the full-length project to support the artist. It’s truly impossible for many independent artists to survive from revenue that is generated via stream based services. When listeners are faced with the option of paying $9.99 for one full length album on iTunes, or paying $9.99 per month to listen to unlimited music, most will choose the latter.  In 2007, Radiohead shifted the paradigm of releasing music when they gave fans the option to “pay what you want” for their album, In Rainbows; this, in my opinion, has created a sense of entitlement in the listening community, and when it’s coupled with the need for instant gratification, it only causes the fire to spread faster.

           Our country is clearly rampant with the need for instant gratification; look at Amazon and their business model for shipping. They are now making two-day shipping standard, and in some cities, they have same-day delivery. People want things, and they want them now. So, when an artist gives someone the ability to obtain a piece of their art without having to spend money, it creates the mentality of, “If I don’t have to pay, why should I?” Now, I’m not generalizing and saying that everybody thinks this way, but there is a sizeable chunk of the population with this mentality. Killer Mike and El-P gave away Run the Jewels 3 for free (they did this with their previous releases as well), and they ended up garnering twenty-three thousand unit sales and over eight million streams. Mike and El realize that they have a fan base that consists of two generations: the generation that I grew up in, that regularly buys music and appreciates the art of the full album (those that have been following both artists from the beginning), and the new generation that wants things cheap and now (those that have just found out about RTJ). Clearly these two have mastered the art of releasing music in today’s atmosphere, but imagine if even a fraction of a percent of the total streams went to purchases.

           It’s no wonder that more blue collar emcees – rappers that have a full-time job – like Ka are emerging in Hip-Hop. Because he has a full-time job as a firefighter, he doesn’t have to rely on music to make a living. Even though there are more ways than ever to discover new artists and listen to music, it’s harder than ever for independent artists to stay afloat in an already oversaturated market. As the music industry keeps evolving with technology and listening preferences, it’s more important than ever for artists to build a loyal and supportive fan base; if they aren’t able to do so, they could sink to the bottom of the murky and overcrowded swamp that is the music industry.

[brettdeadly]

AN INTERVIEW WITH VIC AUGUST

Firstly thank you for taking the time to be interviewed with clout culture magazine lets start with your introduction. Could you please tell our readers who you are and what it is that you do?

Thanks for interviewing me! I go by the name of Vic August and I’m a 17 year old rapper, singer, and songwriter from Western Australia. I was born in Albany then moved to Perth and stayed there for a nice decade, then started moving around the country with my parents and taught myself everything I needed to know about music whilst on road. I just signed with WVS/ onelove earlier this year and have been working 100x harder on my music for my fans.

  Such a well traveled and talented individual

Congrats on getting signed too that’s a massive accomplishment we’ll definitely come back to that in a sec. How’d you first get into music and teach yourself the ropes?

My personal relationship with music spans languages and genres; my dad is a proud Punjabi and loves to blare bhangra every opportunity he gets, and my mum is much more into the more Westernised sounds coming out of the East Indies; namely the modern Bollywood side of music as well as a handful of Bob Marley, Rihanna, and Michael Buble. I grew up listening to whatever my parents were into, which subconsciously impacted my melody selection and shaped my voice into what it is.

In school I was never really into music classes like that, I’d just pass them for the sake of not failing and never really learnt anything. It was around this time in 2013 when I was introduced to battle raps between kids in grades 7 & 9, which piqued my interest in Hip-Hop.

It was a couple of years after this that I had found out one of my friends from this period – who was into rapping – had unfortunately passed away, and this made me realise how precious life really is and quickly things can go left. Dealing with the loss of a friend at a young age I feel like you’re extra sensitive to everything, in my case I dealt with what I was going through by writing about it. I’ve been writing verses and stuff since I was like 7 but it was around this time I started honing my story-telling.

From that point forward it was all about me finding a way to make money to buy a MacBook and a microphone, then once I did that I bought Logic Pro X and taught myself how to produce, record, and mix. Here we are now

  A lot of events and genres shaped your music, sorry to hear about your friend. you talked about how this helped to shape your story telling just like turning coal into diamonds youve turned your pain into art for your ears, what advice would you give to someone who may be going through tough times as well?

More than anything I feel like it’s very important to grieve, don’t try to hold anything back and learn about the 7 stages of grief, you’ll feel a lot more prepared navigating through it. This may seem like a simple thing but some people I knew at the time didn’t do this and dealt with everything going on by trying to numb their pain instead of trying to heal it.

  That’s such valuable advice. You talked about how you taught yourself to produce, record, mix and write what’s your favourite part of making music?

Oh man definitely recording and mixing, I can’t decide my fav between the two tbh. I love having no barriers or no limits when I record, whatever I say, I say. Then of course playing with my vocals or any guest vocals and bringing out the best of them is a really cool process that takes you into the world of the song and you get to actually feel the atmosphere you’ve created as a vocalist whilst engineering your sound.

  All that hard work and musical engineering is definitely paying off your music has been breaking into the top 50 viral charts and being featured in Spotifys A1 hip hop playlist along with many others. How does it feel to now be recognized on an international level?

Amazing is a massive understatement, it’s crazy to get that type of recognition and see the music grow everyday. I have a great team that keeps me grounded, I’m not the type of person to hit a level like this and get complacent. Still spend every night recording until I pass out, if anything seeing how far the music can go has made me want to work 300x harder and feed the streets & sheets as much as I can.

  All of those qualities are so important and definitely amounting to a lot of success you’re even getting recognized by labels now. How’d it go about that you got signed? Especially at such a young age thats another huge achievement.

So basically I was sending demo’s to WVS for about 6 months before I got selected by the public in the Wildcard section of their Next Gen initiative.

When I was in Melbourne earlier this year for it I had a meeting with the label manager Mat Cant and we were just chatting about music and life and all that. At this time I had MIA, Fallback, and Sideways recorded and sitting on my hard drive but I had no idea they would end up on Glass House 2, or even that I would be making Glass House 2 so close to the first.

Anyway during our meeting one of the things Mat had mentioned to me was that he was interested in offering me a one-track deal, and if things went well from the single it would move on into a slightly longer term type situation.

About a week or so after I had came home from Melbourne I had recorded and mixed about 85% of Glass House 2 and sent Mat a private link to what I had. He replied to me saying something along the lines of “I’m keen to put this whole thing out for you” and the rest was history.

And yeah I believe I’m the youngest artist to ever be on WVS’ roster. Now that I think about it I think I’m youngest artist to ever get his own Spotify Playlist Cover too, shoutout Mellow Styles.

  Wow this is only the beginning and that’s already looking bright. What plans/goals do you have for your music in the future?

When I started making music I had the intention of helping people go through life if that makes sense, like talk about things I’ve gone through and make them relateable and things like that.

When I was performing my set at Next Gen I saw a different side of music, I’d never been to a live show of any kind before that point, so my first experience with one was being a performer on stage. For those 15 minutes I was up there, everyone in the audience came together regardless of race, colour, or creed and enjoyed one of the things they had in common; my music. From that day forward I saw music as a tool of unity, in times like these I feel like bringing moments like those to both my fans as well as the people of the world who may not be familiar with me is very important.

I’m very open in my music and make sure I’m always offering a piece of me with every cut, if it costs my vulnerability to bring together a community of people with golden hearts and warm intentions so be it.

I’ll be doing a lot more live shows next year especially in and around Melbourne, really excited to see how they turn out. I may or may not have a project in the works right now as well :0 … I don’t wanna say too much about the sonic aspect of it but it’s a big step forward from the Glass House Mixtapes and it’s a lot more playful and catchy this time round rather than narrative driven like GH2.

  Those would of been amazing experiences especially seeing the power of music. Would you ever consider going on tour in the future and if so who would be your dream line up to go on tour with you?

Oh my days, Figuero and I chat about a national tour all the time! Hopefully we’ll manage to pull it off sometime next year. Since Fig’s already on the hypothetical tour I’d love to bring the Bay City Boys on tour with us, Manny Lado, Lordholani, and Yung Juiceboxx really have some of the craziest performances I’ve ever seen and I think putting everyone on one stage and having the performances back to back would be an amazing experience for the fans.

  That’d be a dope line up. Do you have any dream music collaborations?

I’d love to work with Mike Dean, Travis Scott, Charlie Puth, Chantel Jeffries, Tory Lanez and Charli XCX to name a few.

  Those are gonna be some bangers! Here’s a serious one so get prepared, which emojis describe you atm?

shi uh

  If your life was a movie/tv show what would it be?

I don’t really watch movies or tv like that but I’m gonna say The Simpson’s, Bart was my guy

  Ah yes the Simpson’s is a classic what’s your fave album?

Astroworld

Actually nah Swaecation is probably my fav album this year

Astroworld is up there with it tho

  They’re both bomb! Do your favourites influence the way you make music/the vibe you try to create?

Most definitely, I love being able to incorporate different sounds from all my fav artists and put them all in one track with my twist on it. I feel like one of the best parts of creating music is being inspired by one of your fav songs and then working off that to create your own vibe.

  Do you have a certain vibe you try to create or is different for each song?

Depends on how I feel, usually I find a beat that matches my current mood and let the beat speak to me as far as melodies and stuff. I have a consistent vocal mix across all my tracks, that’s my own sound that remains the same regardless of the genre or style of music I’m making.

  Yea i love your sound its very melodic. What’s your greatest accomplishment so far?

I was chatting to Mag about this a couple days ago, back when I was a child I used to dream of having one song of my own that I’d listen to for hours, now I have thousands that are the soundtracks of both my short and long drives.

It’s crazy what you can accomplish if your heart, mind, and soul is invested. Along the road I’ve received messages from both national and international fans telling me my music helped them get through a difficult period of their life, and they really felt what I was talking about.

I value being able to touch hearts and having a positive impact on people more than anything else, I feel like being able to do so with an increasingly powerful fanbase is – and will always be – my greatest accomplishment.

    You’re a real one that’s really heartwarming. Does that motivate you to keep accomplishing things and what else motivates you?

Definitely, I’m all about the long-run. Ever since I started making music I’ve been insanely motivated to keep going, at this point it’s a fire so big I don’t even know exactly where it started, all I know is this is it for me.

I wanna go down as one of the greats and having an average work-rate is the best way to not get me there. I just wanna keep going and keep pushing and pushing until the boundary is so stretched out it snaps.

  Such good things to keep you motivated, what obstacles have you had to overcome in both music and life?

Overcoming self-doubt in my early days, killing my ego, learning how to forgive instead of holding grudges, just basically learning how the universe works and how to manoeuvre in it best I can.

  Those are all such valuable things to learn. What advice would you give your younger self?

Never take advice

  I feel like there’s a bit of a story behind that, why would you give your younger self that advice?

It takes a tremendous amount of self belief to be someone in this industry, a lot of people along the way will try to project their insecurities or their boundaries on you and try to taint your thoughts.

It’s always the people who don’t do shit/ haven’t accomplished shit that have the most advice to give. Live life on your own terms, not anyone else’s.

Music in particular is something that I believe you need to navigate through on your own, as far as learning how to create. When you treat it too strategically or your process is too routine that’s when it starts fuckin up.

  Wow those truly are wise words to live by. Last and maybe the most important question what links can we find your music at?

Search Vic August on your favourite streaming service and I’ll be right there :)). All links to my socials/ Spotify & Apple Music profiles are available from my SoundCloud page at: https://ift.tt/2vxtgls

  Sweet as thank you

as we wrap this up is there anything else you would like to add?

shoutout all my fans I fuckin love u

  & shoutouts to you too thank you so much for being interviewed by Clout Culture Magazine, it’s been dope getting into the mind of Vic August. It’s exciting to see what the future holds for you no doubt it’s gonna be a lot of big things. All the best

My pleasure

  Check out Vic August’s music here including tracks featuring Famous Dex and many more

https://wvs.lnk.to/bandit

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[willowbg-consumption]

Day 6: January 21st, 2018

For some reason whenever I write the date I always want to put 2016. That was 2 years ago. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but at least I can correct myself.

The first thing I did today after waking up is spend 45 minutes on Tumblr. I found it really hard to get out of bed and get moving today, despite it being noon. My depression is getting pretty bad, so it’s good that I have an appointment with my psychiatrist soon. This media consumption would be culture because it’s something I do for fun, and mostly has things of pop culture on it.

I did manage to get out of bed today and get food. The first thing I ate was a peanut butter cookie that was expired that I had gotten from work. It was okay. Nothing super special, but it was able to satisfy my hunger. I also went to Sencha Tea Bar because my roommate wanted to go, and I thought I probably should get out of the house. I ended up getting a large iced black tea with cherry flavoring which cost $6, and I’m still drinking it now. It’s alright to treat yourself to some good tea every once and a while. I also had the Goldfish crackers I bought from work the other day for “lunch”. I have too many containers of Goldfish in my possession. SOS. For “dinner”, I had a chocolate chip granola bar that I bought in like October at target. I also had some Fisher’s honey roasted peanuts that I bought in the beginning of the school year and my (probably) expired Tostitos tortilla chips. So my food and beverage consumption didn’t stop there. I also had some BOP AKA Banana Orange Pineapple juice AKA the best juice ever straight out of the carton because I didn’t want to have to wash a cup.....and maybe I also had some Mike and Ikes (I did). I have really bad eating habits apparently. My food consumption would be labelled as economy because I spent money on a drink, but the rest of the food I ate was all from my food closet. (That sounds really weird, but I really do have a food closet).

A large portion of my day was spent on homework. I have a reading presentation for Design and Discontents, which I have been working on here and there. I read the readings on Friday, so now it’s just a matter of taking that information and putting it into slide format, as well as writing notecards on it. Also, I have to do 20 Business card sketches for my Text and Image class. I’ve done about 11, but I’ve been having problems coming up with new ideas. I’m sure I’ll finish them eventually. Future Willow here, saying that I have gotten all of the sketches done, but now I need to do the information sheets for ten of the designs. I’m going to save that for another day, though. For this homework consumption, I would classify it as society, since it’s part of getting a good education (which is expected by society), but also design, since a large portion of it was sketching. 

While doing homework I’ve been listening to music through Spotify on my computer. I’ve kind of been jumping through lots of different genres (mostly pop, rap, and EDM), but I think I’ve settled on listening to Logic (rap) and Timeflies (rap/EDM) for now. When I was walking to my fraternity meeting I listened to my EDM playlist and I listened to the same playlist on the walk back. I really like walking to places because the weather is not bad and it allows me to listen to more music. My music, as always, would be classified as culture, as it’s something I do that makes me happy and my music taste makes me unique 😊.

I’ve had to spend a lot of money today on big things, and it’s kind of scary to me. I had to pay $100 for dues for the Fraternity that I’m apart of (APX). That part is not so scary. I also had to pay rent for my apartment, which is another $800. That’s a little scary, but I pay it every month, so it’s not so bad. What is really scary to me is spending over $1,000 to pay hospital bills. Long story short I had issues with one of my medications in November and my now ex boyfriend called to have a wellness check on me, which ended up putting me in the hospital overnight. I don’t even know how one night in the hospital (It wasn’t even 12 hours that I spent there) ended up costing me over $1,000 with insurance. It’s actually kind of messed up, but I have no choice but to pay it. This money spending, is obviously economy, as it has to do with spending money. That’s pretty much half of what an economy is. 

For television, I watched the web-series Good Mythical Morning. I had missed their Thursday and Friday episode, so I caught up on that. I also used my cable streaming app on my computer to watch America’s Next Top Model. It’s honestly really trashy. I think the only reason I watch it is because I used to watch it when I was little and obsessed with reality TV. (I was a really strange child). Looking back on my consumption habits for TV, I do watch a lot of really bad reality television. I need to find something good on TV to watch that isn’t reality TV ASAP. Like, what am I doing with my life with watching all of this bad reality TV? I also watched more reality tv, but this time it was 2 episodes of the show Catfish. Like before, this TV consumption would be culture because it’s something I (unfortunately) enjoy watching.