#i speak a little spanish... not a lot but a little so it's very neat :3

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

So as someone who is very fond of the Latin American dub of certain Disney movies, I wanted to check out TADC in Spanish…

…and found some interesting dialogue changes.

Now changes in translation is not unheard of when dubbing something that was written in a different language, of course. This is usually done to help make the lip movements look more natural, but also because some jokes or expressions can hit different depending on the language.

And I think that’s really neat

So I wanna share some of these differences that I spotted from episode 3 🙂

“And Zooble returns to normal.”

“I’m already nor[mal]…”

So the original joke Jax makes in English is “And Zooble turns straight.” which Zooble then clarifies that their limbs just straighten out when they hold their breath.

But I think the change to Zooble getting defensive over their appearance (or just taking offense at the implication that they’re abnormal) makes the fact that they hate their body hit a lot harder.

“Bubble has those?”

This is referring to Bubble having feelings, which is certainly a good question.

It’s sounds like an insult, but I’d find it funnier if Zooble’s curiosity was sincere.

“Excuse me, could you repeat that? I don’t speak Lovecraftian.”

C’mon, we were all thinking this angel looked a little too much like an eldritch abomination.

“And Pomni, every time she comes back from one we lose a little more of her”

…this…really puts Pomni’s experience in the Circus into perspective.

It also makes me wonder how much Zooble is projecting here.

“Please, stay dead.”

Not much different from the original but I love that she says “porfis” instead of “por favor” because using the abbreviated version makes her sound cuter.

“Congratulations, my honey mariachi rockers (?)”

…I don’t even know…

My personal favorite dialogue change because Caine is basically saying “And that’s the end!” but instead of referring to a story (which is usually the context for which this phrase is used) he’s referring to his adventures.

I just thinks it’s fun how they essentially made Caine rhyme like a Dr. Suess character.

So…this…

I’m gonna try to explain why this scene hit me so much harder in Spanish. Again, it’s not that different from the original where Kinger says “In this world, the worst thing you can do is make someone think they’re not wanted or loved”

But here, it sounds almost...poetic? Melodic? My point is that he’s rhyming here, and I’m almost certain that it was intentional.

Like…directly translating this into English would not do this subtle change justice. Or vice versa! Directly translating the English version to Spanish would not hold the same aesthetically pleasing delivery.

And that’s another thing!

I want to give a quick shout out to the amazing voice actors that lent their talent for the Spanish dub of TADC.

Especially, Rodo Balderas (Caine), Maureen Herman (Zooble) and Elliot Leguizamo (Kinger), because WOW their performances in this episode was peak.

Elliot make Kinger so goofy. Like really goofy. Then when we get to the point where he talks about Queenie his voice gets so soft. You can feel how much he loves and misses her. Seriously, the range on this man!

Anyway, yeah, watching the show in Spanish definitely gives another enjoyable experience.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

I just saw the arcade post and pleaaasee can we get more? Something like arcade reacting to couriers that can speak Latin/or all of the companions reacting to someone that can speak Latin. Ty!

FNV Companions Reacting to a Courier That Speaks Latin

➼ Word Count » 0.7k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Platonic/Romantic

Boone will actually pull a gun on you when you say something within his earshot. Even if it was some off-comment thing that some scholar said years ago. He associates the language with the Legion, so you'll have to very quickly explain yourself before he pulls the trigger on you. He'll hesitantly put the gun back down when you do, muttering an apology as he does so. He does feel bad about jumping the gun on you so fast, but you have to understand that it's a knee-jerk reaction from all his years working with the NCR and fighting Legionaries. He doesn't think he'll ever see the language the same way again. It only brings back bad memories, and he'll probably ask if you didn't speak it as much around him. If nothing else, then for his own sanity.

Arcade is... caught off guard? You're either from some sort of Legion territory or, you're a Follower he's never heard about, and he's terrified of it being the latter. He'll be very interested in talking to you further despite his lingering concerns. If you've learned Latin, you probably know many other things, and he'd love to find out how far your knowledge truly goes. He wants to pick your brain apart and see what's hiding underneath and would be glad, ecstatic even, to follow along with you, just to see where it'd take him. It's not every day he meets someone else who has similar interests to his own.

Raul doesn't really care, he just thinks it's neat. Not many wastelanders he meets are educated enough to be able to speak another language, and he's impressed that you managed to accomplish such a feat. Although, he does wish it could've been Spanish instead of a dead language only the slavers speak. He'll give you shit for it, but he's impressed nonetheless.

Lily doesn't understand a word you're saying and just assumes her schizophrenia is acting up again. That being said, she mostly just shrugs her shoulders and nods. She might not know what's happening, but she's sure that she'd probably agree with whatever you're saying.

Cass just rolls her eyes when she first hears you talking. Of course, she's traveling with a nerd. Don't take it the wrong way, she's not trying to be mean, but what is knowing Latin going to do you in the Mojave? Anyone who still speaks it also speaks English, so it's pretty much useless. All that time you spent studying the language could've been spent doing... well, anything else, and she thinks you're a little stupid for not considering that beforehand. It's not a deal breaker for her, she'll still travel with you, but she's definitely not as impressed as some of the others would be.

Veronica's more confused than anything. They don't speak that back at Hidden Valley, and she hasn't exactly heard the best things about the people familiar with the language. That's not to say she isn't interested in learning more about you or where you even learned to speak it. She's out here specifically to learn more about others, and you seem to be a good start. She'd even be willing to learn a few phrases from you. She's caught off guard but not entirely turned off by the idea.

ED-E will just beep back. You can't fully understand him, and he can't fully understand you. He sees this as a perfectly balanced relationship. Although a few others in the Divide also speak that language, and lucky for you, he remembers where they are. So, he has no issues guiding you straight toward them. Maybe you could be friends!

Rex is more attentive to your orders. His memories from before being The King's dog are a bit foggy but, when he hears you speak Latin, there's a part of him that remembers those words. Or, at least, the tone. Ceasar spoke a lot of Latin to him when he was under his care, and he may inadvertently associate you with the image he formerly had of him: powerful and demanding. He'll be sure to follow your orders thoroughly.

[pinkinsect]

can you elaborate on what you mean when you mention the "blue lock sociolect." because the linguistic/social situation that must be developing in this stanford prison ass training center fascinates me endlessly

hello this is going to be a lot. tldr at the end.

for anyone unaware, i use blue lock "sociolect" in this case specifically meaning the dialect that develops in the blue lock facility. i'd classify it more as a sociolect than a dialect, because while they now have a geographic location in common, i would say the speech features show up more in certain characters who've leaned into the blue lock egoist mentality more. the way hiori speaks changes as his view of himself and soccer change. (i also think that bltv enjoyers start talking like this. horrifically)

the blue lock sociolect is a phenomenon i invented in my mind palace to cope with the way i feel when i read blue lock and see phrases like "you're an eyesore, you pink-haired philistine" and "rotten orange." i brought it up in this post on my other blog some time ago, but in short, i've decided that the rather. unique way the blue lockers speak to one another is a result of putting 300 [and lowering] boys age 15-18 from all over japan in a hypercompetitive environment with very little adult supervision.

it's all about the individual, hence many of the insults taking the target's most striking physical trait and combining it with something the speaker decides is negative about the target. with japanese being a language with pretty structured assignments of appropriate politeness based on age, experience, and status, i could see it eroding given the general lack of older adult presence (ego appearing on a screen for like 15 minutes doesn't count, especially since he's rude as hell), and the mentality the players are encouraged to accept. rin isn't the best example given his dedication to hating across languages, cultures, and age ranges, but isagi pretty much comments on how he's rude as hell by social norms once, then clearly gets used to it.

i think the blue lock sociolect starts to diversify a bit once we enter the nel. the blue lock boys are shown studying english, but the nel introduces an environment where a lot of their teammates will most likely be speaking a language other than english or japanese within their teams (except for manshine but that's british english which isn't usually what's taught in japan so even then their contributions to the sociolect will be a bit different).

we don't know exactly how accurate the translation software is, or how it handles the cultural differences in honorific language, but based on some of the things we've seen (ness calling kunigami "kunigami-san" that one time, also ness being shown saying "ja" through the translation, "beinschuss" from kaiser, whatever's going on with charles, etc.) they're not always consistent.

(i haven't checked out the raws for these yet though, so im actually not entirely sure what's coming through in japanese.these could just be translation choices.)

this multi-language environment and the non-translation of certain speech could also have an impact on our blue lock players' vocabulary and introduce other languages' terms and speech patterns. japanese already has a pretty huge collection of loan words that eventually create "foreign" phrases that don't exist outside of japanese, so this facility could make this phenomenon occur more rapidly.

we see otoya say "golazo" during the fc barcha match, and while darai says the same thing during their bowling match, it wouldn't be too far off to assume that otoya picked it up from his spanish speaking teammates.

i could add more but this is getting too long so tl;dr: putting 300 15-18 year old boys in a prison with barely any adult supervision would make neat language shifts.

some features of the blue lock sociolect i think exist:

the particular type of insult we see so much of in blue lock

general lack of/comparatively less importance given to honorific language and polite conjugations of words

shounen protag accent (you'd know it when you hear it.)

increased usage of german, english, spanish, italian, and/or french terms

FAR less subject omission than average japanese, especially when the subject is "i" [thanks aryu.]

[liriostigre]

Hiiii ty for such a great uquiz!! Would it be possible to see the description of all the books you could get matched to? I’m curious what the vibes are for the rest!!

hi 🌷 here you go:

White Teeth by Zadie Smith: Excessive, maximalist and very ambitious multigenerational and multicultural epic novel that starts with the unlikely friendship between Archie Jones and Samad Iqbal. It explores themes of race, identity and the intersections of culture, heritage, and modernity. Clever and hilarious dialogue, very creative when it comes to language and style, unique and bold when it comes to narrative. Perhaps a flawed novel due to its ambition, but excellent nonetheless.

Despair by Vladimir Nabokov: Excellent writing; very ambitious and stylish. It is somewhat a twisted novel but you will find a lot of humor despite. The narrator speaks directly to the reader as he writes what he regards as his perfect crime. This novel is one of Nabokov's earliest works in which one can easily identify themes and literary devices that the author explored later in his most known works.

The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolaño: Brilliant and stunning novel about poets and poetry! Very dense and challenging; it requires patience from the reader. This novel is so infinitely dear to me that i can't even explain its brilliance, but i have to give you at least an idea of the plot so: The story is arranged in three parts and told from multiple points of view. It starts in Mexico City, in the 70s, and continues across decades and continents. It follows the adventures and misadventures of Arturo Belano and Ulises Lima—poets, drug dealers, wanderes, criminals. Now, about the themes, the writing, the style, the narration? Just absolutely perfect even at its most tedious, difficult and anticlimactic parts.

The Hearing Trumpet by Leonora Carrington: Unconventional, absurd, imaginative and exuberantly surreal apocalyptic fairytale quest. It follows 92 year old Marian who is sent off to a peculiar old-age home. If you aren't familiar with Leanora Carrington's art you should look at some of her paintings because this wonderful novel feels just like her surrealist paintings!

Mrs. Caliban by Rachel Ingalls: This novella tells the story of a love affair between a depressed suburban housewife and an amphibian creature who escaped a scientific research center. It might sound like a quirky fiction story but it actually deals with the most mundane and banal aspects of life and human relationships. Brilliantly written; neat and precise prose, wonderful storytelling. The author knew what she was doing and not a single word she wrote was wasted.

The Borrowers by Mary Norton: Delicately written little adventure about tiny people who live in the secret places of houses. I am enamored (obsessed!!) with miniatures—dollhouses, dioramas, fairies—so imagine how dear this book is to me.

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn: The murders of two girls bring reporter Camille Preaker back to her hometown. As she works to uncover the truth about those crimes, Camille finds herself forced to unravel the psychological puzzle of her own past. Very entertaining read. It has best seller written all over it (which might not be the biggest compliment lol but i mean for this genre so it is a compliment).

Rage by Sergio Bizzio: Claustrophobic, anxiety inducing, fast-paced psychological thriller that made me think of Bong Joon-ho's Parasite the whole 4 hours it took me to read it. I read it in it's original language, Spanish, and i particularly loved the dialogue; its idiosyncrasies and authenticity (tqm Argentina!)

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby: Rob, an obsessive music fan, reminisces his top five worst break ups to understand his most recent heartbreak. He is a very arrogant and cynical guy who defines his entire life through records, and because he is constantly interacting with music that almost exclusively deals with love—and a very idealistic version of it—he finds himself unsatisfied with the way his life has turned out.

[jackals-ships]

NOW for the dog <3< dual relationship which again similar beats but ur honor. i am doing unethical science on them;

by this point Jackal is still Jackal or sometimes Prophet (kind of an in joke with them being ghb's left hand arm rabbit etc) and they've settled pretty firmly into the church. this is post Bachus "aren't you tired of being Nice?" and lovingly dragging all the latent sadism and etc to the surface

they do primarily interrogation ("interrogation") work and infiltration jobs, smthin smthin there's a no one expects the Spanish Inquisition joke here somewhere

anyways i like the idea that jackal runs into Saturn a few times by accident, by this point they're more confident but not "willingly interact with the Fucking Orphaner" confident so it's more of a "catches a glimpse and scampers off" or "local rat perched on a nearby roof is People Watching and oh hey ik that guy"

EVENTUALLY they end up having to Actually Work With Him. this is usually where i get a little hand wavey bc it's more an excuse for me to lock these two in a room together and put them in hamster mazes

jackal. immediately hates his guts. in just the Funniest To Me Way Possible they're immediately ".......BITCH?"

this is funny to me bc before hand Jackal was a little starry eyed "wow.... he's so Neat. and scary. mostly scary" not quite Idolization but somewhere in that vein yanno?

which. to be fair. he was Immediately irritated at having to work with the church in Any capacity but lbr Bachus is the only one dumb of ass enough to try and say "no" AND he's annoyed at having to work with specifically the highbloods weird pet

^ absolutely one of the ones who's first assumption was "there is NO way in hell that wasn't some kinda nepotism"

so he's just kinda off the bat An Ass + assumes they're gonna die and then HE'S gonna have to deal with THAT and it's gonna be a whole THING

it's when he talks down to them tho that jackals internally "ah. I have to kill a fish now." <- does NOT take disrespect well but at least knows enough to not immediately jump to biting him

anyways jackal immediately sets about being The Most God Damn Annoying Person Ever. you wish to speak down to the jackals?? have fun trying to figure out where your pants went. also all your pens. Fuck You They're Mine Now

this continues for the entirety of their time on his ship, just a whole Lot of petty irritation back and forth and snarking

this is also where dog earns their nickname, he refuses to remember their name bc of the assumption they're just gonna die anyways. so he calls them dog and they're just "🤔 damn your memory must be going huh" and general taunting him from Very High Places (it does say smthin that he can still get them but chooses not to)

it gets real funny POST job bc HIC decided that they work so well together (they arguably do actually, even if they won't admit that) that dog should stay on his ship for awhile bc smthin smthin learn to work with the church (miss Scylla just likes causing problems (affectionate))

they BOTH hate this SO MUCH dual was looking forward to the rat leaving, DOG was looking forward to being Anywhere Else

they immediately set back about being As Annoying As Possible. this is also when the two of them start actually fighting. no one wants to tussle with dog and they get antsy if they don't throw down so they just goad him as MUCH as possible

an like. there's no way they can best him without getting the drop on him + a lotta luck but they can give him a pretty good run for his money esp if they start Jus Full On Chomping. local fish taken off guard bc wwvhat the FUCK humans bite?? okay????

their romance 'romance' is ALSO very slow burn bc. they both absolutely refuse to admit to it. Saturn refuses to admit he got Got and dog is in camp "humans can't feel pitch emotions I hate him in. a perfectly normal way" "........palest diamond mine you have sent me some REALLY wild shit about that fish" "shut up-"

where the church ship dog was chilling on was only Contemplating locking them and Bachus in a room together Saturns crew does in fact; do so. it's a bold move that guarantees like 70-80% of the crew is gonna Get It but good GOD these two were all but fucking when they fought just KILL EACH OTHER or MAKE OUT

they do both. well dog kinda tries to stab him and that somehow turns into kissing and now they're the equivalent of a bitchy old married couple but with significantly more biting

[the-type-a]

What’re you headcanons for their (duncney’s) family situations? Is Courtney an overachieving only child? Is Duncan acting out because of middle child syndrome? Or is he youngest of four brothers? Or is Courtney Responsible Eldest Daughter?

Ooo I have some random little ones!

I’ll start with Courtney’s family

Up until Dramarama I always hc’d Courtney being an on child. But if she were to truly have a sibling, Courtney would 100% be the oldest. I don’t really have a preference with this tbh.

Courtney’s family is very traditional. They teach her how to speak Spanish so early that she actually speaks it before English.

Her parents were the type to read her stories and allow almost no screen time while growing up. She maybe got around it when she started first grade, but up until then? Nope. It was books and the occasional instrumental pieces as background noise.

Courtney’s family knows everything about everyone. It’s kind of neat while she’s younger but once she’s old enough to make her own mistakes (like normal kids) it’s like gossip within the family.

Courtney’s parents are so overprotective that they shelter her from experiencing a lot of normal things. Like going to your first sleep over, going to the movies on the weekends, probably some school dances, etc.

IF Courtney is allowed to go out with friends it’s only for that day and she better not ask to see them the following day or the following week because “she just went out.”

When she gets to high school she purposely joins all these clubs so she can be out of her house. But of course they have to highly respectable ones because her parents will be attending any debate, or recital.

Grades? Oh her parents are making sure she never comes home with anything less than an A. It helps her when applying to colleges but at what cost? Then when she’s finally at college she has the option to opt her parents from seeing her grades and it’s like a weight lifted off her.

No matter how old she gets she needs to respect her elders. They could be so so wrong or plain disrespectful but she has to force a smile at them.

Along with no matter how old she gets, she constantly feels like she has to ask her parents permission for just about anything. She could be moved out and 23 and still calls them to see if she should sign for this new car or whatever.

Courtney is expected to join the family every Sunday at church. Sick? Bring some tissues.

Now some for Duncan’s family

Idc what anyone says, Duncan is the middle child 100% He has two older brothers and two younger ones. It’s only natural for him to act out because one, attention and two, he’s bored af.

His parents aren’t super strict with any of them because “boys will be boys”. They also allowed friends to come over basically whenever.

Growing up he gets into petty trouble with his brothers but it’s not until he’s a teenager that he goes overboard.

At this point his brothers have chilled out, but not Duncan. His parents really try to buckle him down but it never works. They’ve sent him to therapy and all.

This is when his rocky relationship with his father begins. He’s just so tired of having to pick his son up at his own job.

Duncan’s family is so big yet he feels completely alone. The only people he truly thinks cares for him are his mom and nonna.

Growing up they went on yearly family trips. It was always fun and Duncan was allowed to bring a few friends. As he gets older this changes and he just refuses to be around his family.

His nonna teaches him how to speak Italian and he’s really the only grandson who can and actually speaks it with other older family members. His family might have a thing or two to say about his behavior but they can never say he doesn’t love his background.

School sucks. Everyone knows his family basically run the police station. And speaking of school, Duncan never fails a test. He may fall asleep in class, not participate, or just not show up at all— but he’s smart.

There’s a family rule, or really a dad rule, that if you’re 18 and graduated you have to leave the house or pay rent.

At one point Duncan’s window had bars because he kept sneaking out.

[the-gender-pirate]

Alright so I had an idea:

Jesse finds Nacho’s chain in the desert. Lalo’s ghost has been slinking around the lab. Nacho’s ghost follows Jesse in. Things happen.

I wrote a little very incomplete thing for the idea, let me know what you guys think :) (btw, italics mean they’re speaking Spanish, most of the dialogue is meant to be Spanish but I’m nowhere near fluent enough so this is the format for a bit). TW for described gore.

“You son of a bitch” Lalo stood behind Walter, clenching his fists in an effort to not charge Nacho over the table. “If it isn’t the traitor himself.” Not that him charging seemed like it could do much. His old accomplice was worse for wear: he sported a large crater where the left side of his head was. Viscera speckled his shirt, blood dried onto his neck. He didn't even have an ear anymore.

Nacho blinked, staring at his former boss. More specifically, at the large hole in his neck. Blood crusted into the usually neat collar of his carefully pressed shirt. Was this what the assassins had done? Given Gus’ barely hidden ferocity and contempt, he assumed it would be way worse. “Fuck you.” He breathed, following behind Jesse as he made his way towards the large batch sitting on the table.

Lalo was dumbfounded, clearing the table and approaching his old friend. Or, at least he had thought this was his friend. “That’s all you have to say, Ignacio? I brought you in, I took you under my wing, I fucked you for god’s sake. And this is what I get?” He shoved the other, trying to get a reaction out of him. “You owe me a lot more than ‘fuck you’.”

Nacho shoved him back. Not like a little insubordination mattered when they were both dead. “I did what I had to do. Not like a Salamanca would understand.”

Lalo blinked. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“Oh poor Eduardo Salamanca. I hope the silver spoon didn’t hurt his mouth. I hope the one time he had to tie his own shoe didn’t leave any nasty blisters on his fingers.” Ignacio stepped up to Lalo. He seemed so much smaller now than he had before. “You wouldn’t understand having to sacrifice for your family. All you people do is take and take and take like the whole world belongs to you and you’re just letting us exist in it.”

Lalo wrinkled his nose, winding back and swinging his fist into the other specter’s stomach. He began to grapple with him while he crumpled towards the floor. “You think I never had to give something up? How about everything. I didn’t have friends, I couldn’t trust anyone. I let you in, Nachito, and look at what you did.”

[dragongirlafro]

42, 43, and 44

42: the last thing i ate had some hot dogs with cheese and mustard for lunch 😋

43: sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately ajdjajdjaj umm my bf @mattibee bc i just answered his ask and my mutual @gaytanic-panic bc i sent her an ask earlier 🙈🙈🙈🙈

44: a random fact about anything ok so i can't find any actual documentation abt her online so unfortunately you'll just have to trust me on this one BUT in pokémon UltraSun and UltraMoon in Konikoni City there's a girl who's a hairstylist and asks to see an Alolan Dugtrio for some reward i believe. anyways what's notable about her is that she speaks Spanish and she mentions she's from a foreign region. this led lots of fans to speculate that the next games would take place in a region based on Spain. that didn't happen the very next generation, but it did the generation afterwards with Scarlet and Violet! i just think that's a neat little foreshadowing tidbit :>

[simptasia]

You know what i've been thinking about? If Aaron was raised on the island, what would his accent be? Cause you see all those studies of the people of multiple countries coming together in remote places having children and their accents are something unheard of. Totally new accent. So by that would Aaron's accent be something like that? A mash of British/Australian/American/Korean/Iraqi/ whatever is wrong with Ben, like a totally new accent. Of course, I'm just condensing like Sawyer has his YeeHaw accent and Mike has a more New York, Hurley is Mexican and while he has an American accent in English when Speaking Spanish It's probably not that sooooo I'm just so curious on if they never left what the fuck their accent would be like. Plus, if they stayed on the island and Jin Suns kid was born there and in the future more babies would they inherit the same accent? Like say in this scenario Juliet/Sawyer or Kate/Jack or even fucking Charlie/desmond had children would they too inherit this new dialect/Accent thats contained to them only?Like would they create their own unique accent?, and when Aaron gets older he gets with Ji Yeon (which is so funny like the show runners were like yeah at the end they're still watching Bluey, we should totally imply they get together as adults) So if they hypothetically do get together in this idea where they never leave the island would their children help develop this complete unique accent?

funnily enough, you're pretty much describing what caused the australian accent to begin with. they plopped a ton of english and irish people here, added alcohol and a brand new fucked up way to talk was born

yes, studies show that a child's accent comes more from their enviroment more than their parents! hence why i have an adelaide aussie accent rather than my mum's southern english accent. because i grew up here. this also explains why daniel sounds american as opposed to his english mother. thats actually how it works (tho daniel also went to oxford during his teens so he should sound at least a bit more english but be glad we were spared jeremy attempting that)

i like this idea!

okay so, i think in regular world of lost, aaron grows up to have an american accent but with aussie turns of phrase. because i imagine aaron to be raised by claire and kate, in america. and also sawyer, miles, richard and frank are part of his life too. so claire is really outnumbered here. but he refers to her as "mum"

in this au where everybody stays on the island forever? ...probably still american because holy shit theres a lot of americans on this show but you're right, it could be at least a little muddled. i don't think it'd turn into an immediate frankenstein melting pot of aussie, england (north and south), american (yeehaw and otherwise), korean, iraqi and scottish because thats not exactly how accents work, it would take longer. but certain words and phrases would mix in aaron and ji yeon's (and the other hypothetical babies) little brains. and like certain pronunciations would probably be off. like, they'd be somewhat uncanny. also it's probable that these versions of aaron and ji would be so fucking good at accent impressions. oh and in this world, i like to think aaron can speak korean because he'd hear it around him a lot

so i think yeah the next gen in that AU would sound like,,, kinda weird sounding americans? so basically canadians

i've done my own recreational study of linguistics and phonetics in my time but i'd love to hear about this from somebody who knows more about this stuff than me. that'd be neat

also bless you for taking the take to adknowledge that not all the american accents are the same in this show (or in real life). i know i glide past it sometimes but its a fact i'm very aware of too

oh, oh, since you brought this up:

"Hurley is Mexican and while he has an American accent in English when Speaking Spanish It's probably not that sooooo"

i will take the opptunity to once again say that while hurley's voice is whiny american when he's speaking english (in a cute way! no dunk!), when he's speaking spanish his voice is absolutely beautiful

i realise that spanish accent > american accent isn't exactly a hot take but it blows me away because its coming out the same guy

thank you for allowing me to bring that up again. and for your time

[futuregws]

Trigger warning: mentions of p*dophilia

I'm seriously gonna need some people to get their heads out of their ass and start calling out the right people instead of reaching just so they can find a reason to hate on someone that doesn't deserve it.

For context for people that follow me or stumble across this and don't know, Sabrina has a song called "nonsense" that has this very random verse in the end of it, the whole song is just a very fun one, so in every show she does when she sings that song every time when it gets to that verse instead of singing what it says in the recorded version she makes one up on the spot for each show, they don't make sense 99% of the time they are not supposed to bc that part of the song is a joke she literally says it in the song actually.

Anyways this was what she said in one of the shows where she was opening for Taylor Swift, she was in Mexico and wanted to include some Spanish.

People are now calling her a p*dophile, for mentioning being a grown woman and looking like a "little girl" and then including "sexual" innuendos right after, for example like this person right here.

And when I tell you I've never wanted to bang my head against the wall so hard until I read this, I really don't want to make this post extremely long but I'm mad, so it's definitely gonna be, first of all the first line she's not calling herself a little girl she's not saying that looking like a little girl is "sexually desirable" all she's saying is that she's a grown ass woman and yet she's small as fuck and people still assume to this day that she's a lot younger than she actually is, bc she's fucking tiny.

The next line we don't even know 100% what she said some people are saying she said "neat" and not "big" but regardless, like I've mentioned before the last verse in nonsense is suppose to be exactly that, nonsense, it's not tied together sometimes it's just one liners. And she does make this verses sexual a lot of the time on her tour, but according to Spanish speaking people no one uses "Casita" to refer to their you know what. But honestly regardless of if it's sexual or not, it's so damn obvious that she was saying that bc of her height that I can't help but side eye the people making this about something else, and calling HER a p*do when there's ACTUAL celebrities that are out here dating children and no ones says anything like how about people start calling out THOSE instead of the woman that just wanted to make a funny verse about her height to include on her very unserious song.

*sigh* anyway stream "nonsense" and her whole album "emails I can't send"

[rrbobani]

Tagged by @jenareuter Thank you for the tag!

Do you play an instrument? I used to play the flute a lot, mostly because of High School band class. I think I could still play it pretty well if I took the time to play it again!

Favourite book character? I don't normally read that much anymore, so I'll go for general character. Right now, I really like Chai from Hi-Fi Rush. He's just so endearing, himbo, and feely~ He gives me a lot of inspiration for one of my characters and he's such a likeable guy!

What’s your star sign? I'm a Cancer, though that's as far as I know. I just think the zodiac signs are neat, I don't really believe they affect parts of my life.

Favourite colour schemes? Anything with blue honestly, but I have a soft spot for pink and blue or a dark color with blue. I blame Atlantis: The Lost Empire for my love of blue, it's EVERYWHERE in that movie hehe

Naps or long sleep? Mnhhhhh... can I say both? I like naps, but I guess I like long sleep better. I'm a very sleepy person, but I also like staying up at night

What languages do you speak? Just English with a little bit of Spanish knowledge, though not enough to speak it. I honestly wish I knew it better considering have my family is Hispanic. Though, i wish to someday learn Spanish fully, alongside Japanese, Portuguese, and Tagalog.

Dreams/aspirations? I really just wish to live a simple and financially stable life, lol. Though I do want to create comics and have a merch store, though I'm leaning more towards comics. I'm just really bad with motivation.

Long hair or short hair? Short hair. I once had long hair, but finally getting it cut short I felt so FREE.

Bring a book character to life or go into the fictional world? Honestly, I'd rather just go into a fictional world. Even if it is like going through war, or apocalyptical, or in space, I would want to travel to it just to see it. I would simply just want to be put into a scifi world so I can travel and see the stars~ Thank you for listening to me ramble a bit~ Let's see, I tag: @bumbledd33, @whalechief, and @bowlersandtophats

[realityhelixcreates]

By Talos, This Can't be Happening ch. 11: Ruins of Empire

The past always leaves its mark, in some way or another.

@cardwrecks @captainbaddecisions @whocares-idont I just realized it's been some time.

?~?~?~?~?

They crept away from the farmhouse just before the break of dawn, having been awoken by odd sounds neither of them trusted. They gathered up their things very quickly, dousing the fire and gathering the chickens which had been smoking and drying all night, then began putting distance between the farmhouse and themselves.

“Could have just been a mountain lion.” Helix said.

“Y'get how that's also bad though.” he answered, and they lapsed into silence as the stars faded against the slowly rising sun.

Helix spotted a fallen tree and left the road to examine it while Swag kept a look out for...everything plus mountain lions apparently.

“Thoughts?” he called.

“Hickory. Not new enough to be green, not old enough to be rotting. It's perfect!”

She took her hatchet and began chopping merrily away at a long branch. Little wood chips flew everywhere; she would likely be brushing them out of her hair for hours. After a few minutes, she presented him with a length of solid wood roughly three feet long.

“Good weight?” she asked. “I can thin it out a bit, if you need.”

“No, it...” he hefted the branch, gave it an experimental twist, a spin, a swing. It was thicker, heavier towards one end, and the balance of that was familiar in his palm. “Yeah, I can work with this.”

“Great!” she chirped, then chopped up the rest of the branch into semi-even lengths, and tied them into a bundle which she slung over her back. “This will come in handy later tonight. I doubt we'll reach the city before tomorrow.”

They made their way back to the road, Swag picking the larger chips of wood out of her hair like a grooming monkey.

“So, can you tell me anything about Markarth?” he asked. “Since I'm supposed to be from there?”

“It's beautiful. I was only there once, but it left an impression. There were great spires of stone that the homes and shops were built into, so the city was mostly vertical. The palace was built into a cliff face. There was an attempted murder in the marketplace in broad daylight, the first day I was there.”

“Sounds like a party.”

“There was a lot going on. The Nords have left their mark on it, but it was originally a Dwemer city, and the architecture and metal works really showed it.”

“Now, what does that mean though? What is a Dwemer? I take it they're some kind of people?”

“Yeah...a kind of elf. But they don't exist anymore. If I've got it right, they went to war with the ancestors of the dark elves, like the ones at Azura's shrine, and they did something that made them all disappear overnight. Probably the biggest mystery in Tamriel.”

“Now when you say 'disappear'...”

“I mean gone.” she snapped her fingers. “Poof! No corpses, no clue where or how. Just gone. Left their cities still running, but empty. They used steam power thousands of years ago, had gas lights, created an alloy that still hasn't been reformulated, and built clockwork and machines out of it! They rejected the known gods and made a religion out of logic and philosophy, harnessed sound as magic, but...we know so little about them. Their language was unique, and no one speaks it anymore...but...if I could get my hands on one of the texts...”

“Do you think? They sound pretty neat. Clockwork, steam power, and machines? In this setting? If you could read the books, you might revolutionize this whole world!”

Something in her face fell.

“I'm...not sure I want to do that. It's just, this world seems quaint on its head, beautiful and fresh. Sure. But it's constantly at war. This is an empire. It has filled out to the edges of the continent, spreading its cultural influence like a suffocating blanket, just like we did, and the British before that, and the French before that, and the Spanish before that, and the Dutch-”

“Right.”

“And the point is, they would dearly love to reach past those edges, and so would every other empire on the planet. They're limited right now, in key ways. But a Tamrielic Age of Exploration-and everything that comes with it-is not something I want to be responsible for. And even if I didn't care about that, if I were to supply this knowledge, I'd never know another moment's peace. Everybody would want me, whether I wanted it or not. I do not belong to this world. I do not belong to any world. And though I might have to live within this empire right now, I won't be a slave to it, and I won't make it any easier for it to make slaves of anyone else.”

Naturally. The only chains on Helix were forged and placed by herself, and could just as easily be thrown off. She would never allow herself to be caged.

He eyed that ring on her hand once more. Only ever by her choice.

“That's a good point. This place feels so different from home, but it's still full of people, isn't it? And people are gonna people.”

“Even the Dwemer were known to be slavers. They destroyed an entire race of elves in that way. Their remnants still wander, down in the depths of their ruined cities. I've seen them.”

She shuddered.

“Those places were...disquieting. So perfect and precise, so united in their aesthetic. It made the parts that were broken almost more beautiful by comparison. Everything exactly as it had been left. Beds made. Plates on tables. Steam still hissing through the pipes, gears still spinning. The sounds of industry still groaning through an empty, otherwise silent city. It was...almost obscene. It wasn't even a tomb. Not even a memorial. It was a...a lie. 'Wait for us', it said. 'We've just popped out for a moment. We'll be back soon.' But no one's coming back. Their leavings should at least be allowed to return to the earth. It made me want to bring it all down.”

“My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings?”

“Yes. That's how its supposed to be.” she replied to his poetic interjection. “I was in a terrible place when last here, and I never want to go back down into those empty lands.”

“If we see any, we don't have to go in. Maybe we can kick over a stone or two and then leave.”

It was kind of a shame to leave info on the table like that, but this world would develop at its own pace, and on its own cycles. Helix lived by cycles, and it wasn't his job to rain advancement upon these masses.

The morning fog burned away as the sun climbed higher, lighting up the crumbling tops of mostly toppled stone walls in the distance.

“Speaking of ruins...” he murmured.

“Looks Imperial from here. Another watchtower maybe? Wanna go look?”

“Looks like the road is taking us that direction anyway. If there's any more of that grainy hard cheese, I'm taking it all.”

Helix giggled.

“You're gonna miss it when we leave.”

“Nah, it's like a Grana Padano, I can get it back home. You ever tried it? I'll get you some, the really good stuff. We can feed each other little bits, figs and pomegranate seeds, finocchiona maybe, that apricot preserve you make. That one cocktail you like. That silk wrap dress of yours, the purple one that comes off easy if you pull the ties right. Make a night of it. Whatever avenues of hedonistic debauchery we decide to wander down.”

She smiled, favored him with that glance of hers that always felt like it was about to set his hair on fire.

“You spoil me.” she purred.

“You know I love it.”

“I do.”

She did. They knew each other's love languages to fluency. Give. Share. Touch. Adore.

Off the road, inside those crumbling walls, no one would be able to see them. He didn't particularly care if they were watched, but she did, and that was part of it.

That little flame tickled his blood, lightened his step, and she skipped along beside him, buoyed by that same anticipatory elation.

The ruins were larger than he'd thought; three towers at least, and a wall all the way around. Almost none of it remained, no roofs, and only portions of wall. But that was all they needed.

Maybe it had been an important place once, sacred ground or a military outpost. Now it was merely overgrown grasses, flowering bushes, and moss-covered stone, a place to back her up against a stable section of wall, to grasp at warm flesh beneath layers of cloth, to thrust tongue between yielding lips-

-To screech in surprise as a sword tore through his cloak and stuck between stone blocks, barely missing Helix's shoulder.

“Goddamn cockblockin, motherfucker-!” Swag snarled, rounding on their attacker, only to scream again and press Helix harder against the wall behind him.

Creaking and clacking, a fully de-fleshed human skeleton tugged uselessly at its trapped sword. Several others emerged from behind the flowering bushes, carrying weapons, but nothing to identify who they might have once been but rotting scraps of armor.

Terror washed through him. It was ridiculous. Skeletons were a joke. A cartoonish spooky-scary holiday decoration, or a goth kid's aesthetic. They weren't actually frightening.

Right up until they were right there, in all their radiant wrongness, advancing with weapons raised. Until they outnumbered you. And no amount of pedantic killjoy Twitter rationality made them disappear, no perfect understanding of how the lack of muscles, ligaments, and tendons should mean they shouldn't be able to move, they just did. They had no eyes to see him, and it didn't matter. They knew where he was. They had no brains for motor control, and it didn't matter. They held their swords anyway. Logic and reason were no longer a shield, and he was completely disarmed.

One of them dashed forward, sword swinging, and Swag took Helix to the ground with him as the ragged blade whistled through the air where they were previously standing. Helix screamed beneath him, a startling sound of hatred and fury. She whipped one hand out from under him, and unleashed a bolt of purple lightning that blasted the bones apart.

Helix wriggled free from his protective panic, and destroyed the stuck skeleton with a double handed swing of her hatchet, shattering its naked skull.

“Edward, your cane!” she hollered. “Fuck 'em up!”

That galvanized him, the weight of the branch in his hands dredging up years-old know how. Weaving between them-they were clumsy, erratic-dodging stabs and swings, bashing limbs and splintering bones with the heavy end of the cane. They were brittle things, vulnerable to a good smash, to Helix's crackling electricity, but they had numbers.

“Over here!” Helix demanded, backed up against a crumbling section of wall. “Bring them over here! Just do it!” she cried at his wordless protest.

He danced back over to her, several skeletons recklessly chasing him.

“What now?”

“Get ready to duck!”

Helix slapped her hands against the decaying wall, releasing a ball of lightning that demolished the blocks. The wall wobbled; Helix dragged Swag back down to the ground as the top several feet of stones toppled down onto the approaching skeletons.

The last of their bony foes continued to advance, whatever fell magic that animated it unable to return any brains to its weathered head. Swag kicked its legs out from under it, dashing its skull against the stones.

Helix dragged herself back to her feet and stalked the area with her hatchet, demolishing every skull she came across, loathing swirling around her face. Swag rested against the wall, just letting her do it. Maybe it kept them from getting back up again, like zombies.

Oh god, were there zombies too???

Shoulders heaving and hands trembling, she returned to lean against the remnants of the wall beside him, catching her breath.

“All okay?” he asked.

“Lucky.” she breathed. “They were poorly made. Old. Fragile. Ugh, I hate the undead. I hate the magic that makes them, and I hate the people who use that magic. Necromancers. I hate Necromancers.”

“I can...understand that.” he said, but he was thinking, thinking...

And she caught the thread of thought, wound it around her fingers.

“Narci is a wight.” she said simply. “A spirit. All worlds are full of spirits. They aren't like this. They typically have their own minds and wills. But these? These are just slaves. Dolls. Mockery and desecration. They need to be returned to the earth.”

“That was a fuckin' nightmare. Never thought I'd be scared of skeletons.” he said. “They were just so...wrong.”

“They are dead. And we have freed them forever. Now put me up against that wall and fuck me senseless.”

He raised an eyebrow, but his blood was still high.

“...As my queen commands.” he said, reaching for her shaking shoulders.

?~?~?~?~?

[lostacelonnie]

Surviving is one thing but befriending the alt girls? Now thats thriving congrats on the friend acquisition. Oh yeah absolutely thats super cool of your mom. To be so chill. More parents should aspire to be so chill. Birds are just chill dudes who exist & you can see them & its great. Fuck gulls though. They're nice to look at but will be bastards if you have food in some places. Ive been trying to learn german here & there and it is. Something. Mood but for english. Who needs grammer rules fuck em. I dont know polish so i definitely cant say. You probably mentioned it that sounds familiar but dang. Well it at least wont be as bad? My joke answer is gay sex would be less gay than whatever bronya/seele & march/stelle have goin on. My serious answer is that but also that was really well paced & written. Svarog my bro. Love him. Cocolia confrontation had killer music & the interaction with preservation was cool too. Love fire stelle abilities. Mobile is tough but just gotta fuck it we ball through it. Ill definitely have to add rain world to my list. Dredge is like. Lovecraftian horror fishing sim. Its really neat. River city girls is a simple beat em up adventure game where you fight through town doin little quests on your way through the main one. Real fun easy controls & the soundtrack is real good. Please do id love to hear your exploits. Yeah i have work a lot & so does she plus her kids so i dont talk to mine much either. Im getting to the point in star rail where i am catching up like genshin so ill probably log in less on that too unless more story happens or an event catches my eye. After next planet story anyways. Im not far enough in simulated universe to do swarm disaster sadly. Just gotta. Level them characters as usual. Ps5 star rail gave me gepard which he's good but like. I want bronya

YEAH ITS GREAT and thank you!! we have different groups this year and im very happy ab this bc most of the popular girls im scared of that i shared a group with last year are in the other one now. so im chillen. yeah shes VERY epic hehehehe!!!!! love her. YEAH frfr i agree.... ab the gulls as well i almost got Physically Attacked by one when i was on a trip on an island near alicante cos i was hanging out in the sea and went towards a small island not far away from the shore. not knowing there was a gull nest on it. but i took the hint when one started Screaming at me like halfway through. god i am scared of these things. theyre cool but from a safe distance. and ahhh good luck with learning german!! i took 4 years of it in primary school and still dont know a thing. but its a very charming language so maybe when i get a solid hang of spanish, ill revisit it. tho it Is funny to joke with my friends ab how i didnt allow ppl to germanize me. german was mandatory under the nazi occupation and theres this one patriotic song with the lines "nie będzie niemiec pluł nam w twarz / ni dzieci nam germanił" [the german will not spit in our face / nor germanize our children] but these days its often used for jokes ab having to learn the language. and yeah i suppose thats true!! it is what it is. anyway. YEAH i actually agree with both the joking and serious part andkfnjjb ESPECIALLY the cocolia boss fight. GOD that was cool. i honestly dont use fire trailblazer abilities that much but yes she does come in handy. good luck with surviving on mobile o7 also keep me updated if you do end up playing it!!!!!! its unbelievably hard but like. in a good way. OOH BOTH OF THESE SOUND VERY FUN!! speaking of which i have so many games i wanna play..... but i literally just spent around 200zł [a bit under 46 dollars] two days ago [wait im gonna tell you how in a second]. which actually connects to dye update: i redid my hair since it washed off pretty quickly [but ah i look so nice in red] for the very event i ended up spending way too much money on. and yeah fair rn im actually going onto genshin more often than star rail bc the fontaine exploration + catching up on sumeru exploration is just. So fun. havent played swarm disaster yet either...... no time...... i have a Lot of stuff to do for school recently. its been like what. 2 weeks. and we already finished the first chapter from history and were gonna have an exam soon. which im Dreading btw bc for some reason i went for extended history in school despite being physically unable to remember dates. but hey at least extended geography is easy [so far]. so fuck it we ball. anyway ah congrats on getting gepard!!! hes pretty overpowered yeah but i want bronya as well [i say barely ever logging into the game]. which is pretty funny bc i already got 3 5* things on standard in star rail while being like 150 pulls in and they were two claras and GEPARDS LIGHTCONE. which i cant even use on march since i run her in clara teams in which i need the taunt on clara. Lol. but whatever. ANYWAY ABOUT THE EVENT uhhh you Might recall that i went to like a. con-adjacent thing last year. its actually just mainly for buying merch but a Lot of people go in cosplays. anyway i went this year as well and got a bunch of prints [of focalors, fischl, signora, silver wolf, kafka, and miku], and some other stuff [charms of himeko starrail, silver wolf, and kafka, as well as bronya honkaiimpact3rd and kafka pins]. and a very cute choker. so YEAH for the sheer amount of stuff i got id say its a very good price but i still feel bad ab spending so much money in one go sjdkgkgjh

[vampacidic]

they do speak spanish!! cece is short for cereza and serpi is short for serpiente . they didn’t have real names in the lab, only subject names, so they just called themselves nouns when they escaped. the lab is of course usamerican, so cece & serpi speak both english and spanish, but they can’t read either. most of the spanish language was taught to them by this wolfgirl maríajosé, because yes, this story is also about mythology and not just scifi

cherry and snake.. that's so cute...... i'm really obsessed with this story lennie im very invested..... what kinda media are you thinkin about using to tell it? comic narrative illustrations etc....

[gatorbites-imagines]

What about the cod boys (any of them but please könig included ,,^ ^,,) with a reader that has a touch of the tism/adhd and starts to slowly mirror and mimic their accents? Cause I do that and I think it would be funny to see their reactions

John “Soap” MacTavish, Simon “Ghost” Riley, Rodolfo Parra, and König

Headcanons

John “Soap” MacTavish

-          Soap would be so entertained the first time he hears you speak with a Scottish accent. He would think you did it on purpose in the beginning, until he notices how you are sounding more and more Scottish in your everyday life.

-          He still thinks it’s funny and cute though. Hed end up asking about it, which makes you realize you’ve been doing it. It probably makes you embarrassed, but he just smiles, kisses your cheek, and tells you he thinks it fits you well.

-          Soap cackles when you start using his ways of speaking, the kind that has Ghost telling him to speak English. Especially when he sees the look on Ghosts face when you and Soap have a whole conversation that he can’t keep up with.

 Simon “Ghost” Riley

-          Is it here I should mention if hc that Ghost is on the autism spectrum? He just gives me that vibe.

-          Ghost probably starts copying some of your accent too if you have one, but it would be you copying him more. Neither of you would realize until someone asks if you’re from Manchester. That’s when you both realize you’ve been doing it and you two have a little laugh about it.

-          He thinks its kinda cute, so he won’t make you stop copying his accent. It makes him feel closer to you in some way, like its something special between the two of you.

-          Ghost would find it very entertaining if the accent gets thicker if your drunk, he jokes that you are more British than he is when you get so drunk only he can really understand you with how thick the accent gets.

 Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra

-          Rudy thinks its so cute when you start to sound more and more like him, he especially loves how you pronounce words and how they roll of your tongue. He loves when you speak Spanish too, because you sound more and more like a local even if you’re not.

-          At some point you two end up just speaking a lot of Spanish together, Alejandro joins in too of course.

-          Rudy kisses you lovingly if you get embarrassed about copying him without realizing. He would tell you he doesn’t see it as a problem, and it just makes you more lovely to him.

-          You both use Spanish pet names after a while because you’ve just started picking up his vocabulary at some point. Rudy gets flustered the first time you use one of the pet names he uses for you out of the blue.

-          Alejandro definitely teases you both about this.

 König

-          König is a little confused when you start to sound more Austrian, but he just assumes its something that happens when you are around someone for so long.

-          He thinks its sweet when you use German words in passing like he does, since it’s just something you’ve picked up in passing.

-          König would at some point ask you about it and you explain the whole, copying accents thing that happens sometimes with people who are on the spectrum. He would listen with interest and be like “that’s neat” and go back to cuddling.

-          He mutters all kinds of sweet words to you in German and at some point, you start using the sweet words for him too, which always makes him blush and cover his face.

-          König laughs when at some point you yell at someone in German, because you’ve heard him do it during missions and just started copying him.

[knowlesian]

i’ve talked about it through a super narrow lens, but because i love the izzy’s revenge scene in e9 and there’s a bunch going on/acres of unspoken and very cool history at play, why not. time for a line by line!

we start with izzy, sitting and eating what looks like a steak, flanked by a standing ivan and fang.

the thing about captain hands is: he’s tough, yeah. but also, he’s fair, as ivan and fang can attest to. needs more salt.

so after asserting he can speak for them, izzy does not pause ask fang or ivan if they agree. he doesn’t even let them respond at all; just demands fang put more salt on the meat for him, despite the fact that it’s right in front of him and it would actually be easier to just do it himself.

the history of the spice trade is one that’s... ooof. if i start talking about islands razed to the ground and endless scores of people murdered over nutmeg and pride, i will never stop. suffice to say, the demand for spices (and desire to keep them out of the hands of fellow colonizer competition) is inextricably linked to the whys and the hows of this era of colonization.

the use of salt in particular carries a lot of resonance; one of the stories told about columbus and his proverbial “first contact” with indigenous people was that he stumbled over some local taínos— the spanish would later name this particular group the lucayans— just out collecting sea salt and went, oh shit look what i discovered! 

(how true this version of the story is... look. there’s a lot of debate going on as we speak among historians about which modern island was the first landing spot at all, so the point is it’s one of those things that businesses will quote and not cite their sources, because a neat little trivia fact like ‘salt was there at first contact!’ stripped of all nuance helps... sell more salt. ew. love 2 live in a society.)

so: there’s a lot of oomph in that there demand. moving it on along, as the music starts to gently rise behind izzy’s Moment Of Triumph.

all right, all right. listen up, listen up! work hard, keep a spring in your step, and you’ll all have a long tenure aboard... izzy’s revenge.

con just CHEWS on the word revenge for a minute while he says it, as the show allows izzy to enjoy the taste of power on his tongue. this is his ship now: this is his revenge. look at him, dad (metaphorical and societal)!!!! he’s doing manhood and masculinity right, everyone is gonna see it and goddamnit he is going to get his entirely earned reverence and applause. right? right?????

...right?

lol no. the music drops out, and wee john starts to laugh at this sad little man and his sad little powertrip.

because why wouldn’t he laugh? fuck that. ‘do what i say, exactly how and when i say it and pretend you’re happy about it no matter what, and then you’ll be fine’? i would snicker at somebody who said something like that, and i know that because i have snickered (usually where they could not see me, admittedly) at managers who said shit like that. 

here’s the thing about living aboard a ship irl that i would assume is also true in the show despite the dream logic of canon: no matter what’s going on there is always more work that could be handled right then and there, always always always. it’s a little like working in a restaurant; at any given seeming lull in the action, there’s 1000000% a chore or task left undone that needs attending at some point, maybe even soon. however, the key words there are ‘at some point’. 

that’s the problem with the respect and immediate presumption of skill and perfect authority izzy is demanding from the crew; it doesn’t matter what practical skills he does or does not bring to the table, he hasn’t earned anyone’s respect and actively runs around doing a lot to make sure if he doesn’t course correct and sincerely attempt to display anything resembling real solidarity and mend some fences, he never will. 

when it comes down to 'but what about the practical measure of his Good At Pirating Quotient!’ i would say izzy’s skill with a sword is not in dispute so much as his skill with adaptation, and he’s seemingly good enough at sailing to stay on ed’s ship or he wouldn’t be there. however: there’s a pretty big difference between meeting the standard/keeping up your end and absolute mvp, The Most Skilled and Important in every single way. you can be a good pirate and not be the only reason a ship’s afloat; a lot of the oomph to izzy’s character build for me is that it’s not the usual ‘he’s just so goddamn right and skilled and above everyone else it’s understandable that he treats people like shit and he doesn’t ultimately need to change that because look how good at everything he is!’ mode on any level. 

izzy’s a decent pirate, but he’s certainly not a pinnacle of the career who simply isn’t being given his due. the men in that bar in the finale do not give a single fuck about izzy hands; and sure, they don’t actually know him or ed. but fang and ivan know them both, and thanks to fang we know for a fact ed’s crew referred to him as izzy the spewer behind his back before canon started. 

i think it’s notable that the people who spend all their time around izzy do not like or particularly respect him— i’d say it’s because he never really gives them a reason to, either through personal interactions or grudging acknowledgement of his practical skills because they are irreplaceable and fall far outside fang or ivan’s own capabilities. 

on the other end of the spectrum, ed does shit like make fang kill his dog and fang still respects him. he’s also clearly holding the world’s most valid grudge on that one (and seriously: what the fuck, ed, justice for fang’s poor dog and justice for fang) but they contrast fang’s immediate ‘oh fuck, boss is here!!!!’ when he thinks ed is back with ‘oh, izzy??? yeah if it’s still just him who cares, none of us actually give a fuck about that guy on his own merits and we tolerate him because ed likes having him around for whatever fuckin reason’ when it turns out ed’s still gone. and ivan is the one who pipes up all ‘that’s why you DO NOT doubt the captain!’ in e4.

(this is part of why i don’t buy izzy is handling all of ed’s day to day enforcement, and that the crew rarely saw ed because he was hiding away. ‘most emotionally available’ implies a lack of emotional availability, not a lack of physical presence. if it had been some variation on 'i haven’t seen him this much in ages’, ‘usually we never see him’, sure. but a comparison on emotional availability literally requires a basis for that comparison.)

so i would argue the crew sees a lot of ed and a lot of izzy, and they have fair reasons to resent them both, but they still respect ed while talking shit behind izzy’s back whenever possible. honestly, the only person we ever see be obsequious towards izzy is geraldo— and i’m not sure given things like jackie’s constant exasperation with him we’re meant to think geraldo is an accurate judge of character or indication of wider opinion.

izzy is good enough to pass muster or he wouldn’t be there, and as long as everyone plays by the rules he holds to and doesn’t think outside the box, he seems to do battle/executing prisoners type shit pretty reliably well. however: the only supplies we ever see him ask about or show any interest in are munitions (weapons and ammo) and every single time we as an audience see him insist/demand a specific sailing chore must be done at the very moment he wants it done, it is never once about an actual immediate need.

(even the request for munitions is not actually the right call to make; they would have been blown to smithereens. it’s an out of the box let’s be a lighthouse!!! plan that saves them, just like surrendering and invoking the act of grace was the right swerve to make in e8 instead of stede’s initial izzy-like idea to go ...idk, let’s just start shooting first???? see where that preemptive attack life leads, seems like not a bad idea at all.)

so, narratively speaking, the thing we are meant to take away is not that izzy is just always right and underappreciated and making everything work, but rather that he is quite often wandering around being a real jerk to people and he needs to knock it the fuck off. even more than that: that it’s not a sign of good leadership when you consistently treat people like shit and call it a necessary evil, or if you admit you do it but refuse to do any real work to curb that impulse and change that behavior.

there is a pretty big gap between a person knowing how to do something on a technical level and knowing how to accurately gauge if they can do it later and for now it’s time to take a second and eat/take a break/socialize. we can (and knowing fandom, probably will) argue forever, trying to pinpoint izzy’s exact levels on the first; his skill at the second is unquestionably fuckin subzero.

part of being a good leader is being able to discern the difference between when it’s appropriate to say ‘no, literally it’s gotta be now we are in the weeds and there’s no time to waste, this is no joke do it or else time, kids!!!!’ and when a task can wait for later, then being able to communicate those different states of urgency and encourage others to follow suit.

i don’t think we see any of these situations played out via izzy, but both states do exist! there are times in life when your job involves managing people and it’s not a subjective ‘well i just don’t think you should be chatting right now’ thing, it’s a ‘you can’t put bananas in instead of strawberries and say you just have a different vibe than the recipe; unless you are actually asked to 86 the bananas and double the berries, please don’t do that again. additionally don’t lick the nozzles on the ice cream machine anymore, we will be forced to fire you if you keep that up’ thing. 

sometimes people need to be coaxed along, and sometimes they need to be firmly told to shape up when coaxing fails to work. but being firm and matter of fact about what needs to be done isn’t being an asshole— and neither is correcting a genuine mistake, because there are ways to urge people to understand when they need to step on the gas or change up the procedure that don’t involve crossing lines into empirically shitty behavior.

honestly, this is one of the differences between a good manager and a great one. the front half stays the same, but a great manager adds a second step: is it possible that in this case someone actually managed to improve upon my procedure, and i should consider a new way of doing things/allow that their different path gets them to the destination required without causing any issues for themselves or the rest of us?

a lot of the time, asking that question does end up on ‘nope, we fill the spice canisters that way for a good reason and this new spin on pouring is getting parsley all over the goddamned floor and i will have to mop it up later, so thanks for that!’ 

but every so often, it ends up the other way and you realize you can fit six rolls in the bag instead of four and then you only have to use one bag if you align them like this instead of how corporate said to do it. that cuts down on waste and time spent bagging; everyone rejoices and says ‘ahahaha fuck corporate, those assholes are wrong about everything anyway’. those times are super cool, but they only happen when the people who get the final word on those sorts of things listen to the people who are doing the actual on the ground work.

(yes, i have worked in food service on both sides of the manager line. how on earth could you tell???? etc.)

okay, back to the scene itself. notably: nobody else laughs yet. and other than jim and the swede, they’re all there! buttons is in the background winding rope, lucius is sweeping off to the left, pete is just standing there hanging out on the right, and at this point i think we’re all aware of who izzy had doing the hard labor, no matter where we land on why exactly it happened. jim’s off the ship for the moment, and the swede’s... either i missed him, or he’s there but hiding in a barrel again or something. 

point is: wee john is the only one who doesn’t just roll their eyes and ignore izzy, at first.

izzy, quite obviously, is not thrilled that somebody didn’t find that little speech super cool and intimidating.

what’s funny, mr. feeney?

it’s just that... ‘izzy’s revenge’ sounds a bit like an intestinal condition.

once wee john lays it out, everybody else starts to laugh, too. we don’t get direct reaction shots from buttons or lucius and my ears are not good enough to pick out nathan’s laugh by sound alone if it’s there in the mix, but everyone we see outside fang and ivan— including pete— are now unified in agreeing, yeah. that does sound like a gnarly stomach bug and izzy’s being a dick, we don’t need to keep our heads down in hopes he won’t notice us and pretend otherwise. 

as an audience, we get an extra punchline because we know: it’s funny because it’s true. izzy’s revenge sounds like montezuma’s revenge, which is a colloquial term for traveller’s diarrhea and supposedly a curse laid down and/or just the cosmic price white people have to pay for their ancestors’ sins.

so that’s joke made just for us, the audience who live in the real world and know the reference being made, done as a wink by the writers who also know exactly why that’s funny. because that line only makes any sense if they’re referencing montezuma’s revenge, and i find it pretty implausible this team made the joke on purpose and simultaneously had no idea why the term exists, or what it would imply to say izzy suffered from symptoms of the same the single time he took control of ed’s ship. anything’s possible! but i’d lay down money they knew what they were doing there.

although i guess on that first ‘is it a joke the characters get too’ question, it might be more up for grabs: the actual history and the man at hand here is from the 1500′s, even if the term is modern. maybe in ofmd’s world, ‘montezuma’s revenge’ is already a thing people joke about when white people metaphorically or literally head south, cross a border and then immediately shit their pants.

and just as a personal sidebar, because it sort of itches at the back of my brain and bothers me a little bit more every single day: this is why i am less than fond of the jokes and headcanons re: izzy the spewer being about anxiety or lack of dramamine or food issues. 

where i keep getting stuck is that not acknowledging or engaging with the montezuma’s revenge connection the show is making and all it implies ends up in some pretty uncomfortable places. ignoring the undertones there entirely inadvertently turns a joke where the punchline is ‘lol, ha ha ha @ colonizers getting a little of their own back, and the metaphorical standard bearer for that history in the form of an angry little man telling people to do things his way or ELSE is being a dick rn’ into a thing where izzy is the victim and we should feel sad for him because he just needs care and affection because until then, of course he acts like this & etc.

it’s not that they’re bad jokes as a matter of course and i’m judging anybody who makes or enjoys any of them; and i would absolutely be the first one to say i would prefer izzy have an arc where he does the work to unlearn all his toxic shit, show some real solidarity for once, and become someone who will allow himself to receive/give care and affection in ways that aren’t damaging everybody involved. and maybe he does have any or all of those medical issues, maybe it wasn’t a one-off and he does throw up all the time, etc etc etc. debating the particulars doesn’t much matter to me on this one.

i’m just saying i wish people would engage with both sides of the izzy the spewer/izzy’s revenge setup and payoff if they’re into the jokes and ‘izzy didn’t just throw up once while in charge, he throws up all the time for this practical, in-world reason’ headcanon lane, because the montezuma’s revenge joke is both funny and really thematically resonant/important.

okay, sidebar over and now back to canon. 

thanks to wee john, the crew is united in acknowledging that izzy sucks and his Big Moment was actually just funny.

izzy can’t let that stand; in his world, respect and power are granted after performing elaborate rituals of violence and intimidation.

i wonder what the condition of your intestine might be after, say... no rations for a week?

so, first off because it’s another subtle note of acknowledging without centering historical pain: izzy threatening a character played by a guy from northern ireland (and yes, i very much understand that wasn’t a thing in 1717, but neither were a lot of things that exist in this show) with starvation as a punishment... there’s A Lot being said there in the subtext, done so deftly that if you’re not aware of the history and/or thinking too much about the larger history of ireland at the same time you process that scene, it could easily slip by. 

much like the subtle acknowledgments of racism or homophobia existing in the the world of ofmd (because in a world without homophobia or heterosexuality being the assumed norm, why would lucius’s mother just assume he liked girls, and why would he feel any pressure to let her keep doing it?, etc etc etc) trauma doesn’t need to be overt and centered in the narrative to be there.

god, this show is good.

wee john’s face falls somewhere in the middle of izzy’s threat, and when he cuts his eyes to the side to look for support everyone else has fallen silent again. and since very understandably he would like to be able to eat over the coming week, wee john shuts up without further commentary or complaint. he doesn’t look happy about it, but to izzy’s ...credit? i suppose? he gets what he wants in this immediate moment: wee john is no longer pointing out izzy said something that sounded unintentionally funny, and absolutely nobody is laughing.

so, flush with success, izzy looks around at the crew and addresses all of them one more time, making sure everybody feels a little bit of the sting.

any other funny bits?

the subtle thing i maybe love best here is that wee john was just empirically right. izzy’s revenge quite literally does sound like the name of an intestinal condition! so wee john just stated a fact that made izzy feel some kind of way, and izzy went ‘counterpoint: you say something that makes me mad, you eat no food for the next week’ in response.

we all know wee john is right, even those of us in the audience; but nobody on the crew thinks it’s worth a week of no food to say so now that izzy’s set the terms of engagement.

so everyone stays quiet, including wee john, but that’s not enough for izzy. he needs to get in one last reminder he’s a big boy, in big charge, and everybody needs to shut up and respect his authority.

yeah, i didn’t think so.

izzy, bless his motherfucking heart and may gay god love him, thinks this is winning. when you’ve got the power, you can do what you want with it; you go the extra mile to make sure the people under you understand you have all of it and they have none.

because in terms of in-world reasoning, there really isn’t any reason to give that little speech while eating a nice meal except to establish power and then luxuriate in it while reminding the crew their place is below him. 

the kicker might be that he’s also being incredibly foolish. it’s not about being a badass pirate, being used to a different life or rules or metaphor canon; mutinies absolutely happen in izzy’s world, and giving a speech to the people who work for you about how they better smile when they say yes, sir and hop to it while you sit there and chow down on a meal they will not be allowed to partake in is a good way to get the ball rolling. 

you can eat while they work but be nice and get away with it; you can be an asshole who isn’t flaunting their bounty in the face of someone else’s lack and get by depending on who you’re with, but you can’t do both at once or guarantee future trouble from those holding the shittier end of the stick. the way izzy is acting right now isn’t just arrogant, it’s tactically stupid. there is zero chance it will engender respect and overall good conduct, and every single chance it breeds resentment and makes solidifying any sort of movement against him that much easier.

he’s getting what he wants in the very, very short term by any means necessary; he is not considering that in the longterm, this is the kind of shit that can only come back to bite him.

because what izzy displays in this scene is the kind of unnecessarily dickish behavior that turns a mutiny from a possibility into a slam dunk, you know? the ‘fuck that guy’ factor is often what turns the tide, when people are hesitant to take action otherwise. ‘i hate this job but my boss is nice to me, personally’ introduces a conflict of interest. if you hate your job and your boss... well. all that’s standing in the way then is coming together on the low, making a plan, and having to wait for an opportunity to do something about it.

so if izzy can’t see fit to treat people with a baseline modicum of respect because it’s just... you know. the right thing to do, and because there’s never a good reason to be cruel, he might consider that doing so would be better if he wants to maintain power and not end up thrown to the sharks.

and who knows!!! maybe someday he will. i have said it before, and i will say it again: fuck linear time not existing and ocean travel being more like teleportation, the toxic white guy getting it together and becoming a member of the community instead of resorting to siding with the system when the going gets rough is the twist of a LIFETIME, and i think this team could pull it off.

to end: this show is fucking wild. barely one minute of screentime and you can talk about irish history and taíno history and implicit bias v overt racism and How To Manage Good and some very granular art of war type advice like ‘being literally the worst and threatening people with out of pocket cruelty like starvation encourages people to band together in solidarity against you, and it does not increase overall productivity, merely gains you an immediate— but ultimately false— pretense at compliance’ and then a million other things on top of that. 

you can fit ALL the oomph in this baby and i will meet the writers, as ever, OUTSIDE.