#i sort of spilled my guts and heart oops

[lindentea]

Analysis re: Full Moon and conflict resolution (or not)... spoilers ahead.

The fact that we got an episode showing a healthy, supportive, and-- most importantly-- communicative relationship (Fizz and Ozzie), immediately followed by an episode showing a very unhealthy and very non-communicative relationship (Blitzø and Stolas)... yeahhhh that really stood out to me.

(Sidenote: It absolutely warms my heart that Fizz is so much happier and healthier now!! And he and Blitz have a warm and affectionate friendship again!!! aaaaaaaa!!!)

I'm wondering if Apology Tour will start with Blitz talking to Fizz and/or Moxxie, since Blitz has actually opened up to both of them and apologized to/reconciled with them (he explicitly apologizes to Fizz in Oops and indirectly apologizes to Moxxie in Truth Seekers). I also find it interesting that both of those above apologies/reconciliations started with a fight or conflict.

In Moxxie's case, the truth gas initiates their conflict. They spill their guts to each other in person first, then their insecurities are pulled right out in the open for them in their individual hallucinations. When they come to, they have a quiet heart-to-heart.

In Fizz's case, it starts first at Ozzie's as a verbal conflict, and then in Oops it continues with taunts that escalate into a physical fight (when they are captured by Striker). What I particularly noted about their argument during the later shootout is that even though they start out yelling at each other in anger, they gradually clarify facts and express their perspectives and feelings, until the climax of "I DID CARE!!" (...which always makes me cry btw). And then Blitz actually says the words "I'm sorry." And although he admits/explains that it was an accident, he doesn't try to make any excuses or lay the blame anywhere else. That is huge for him!!

Back to Full Moon... When Blitz starts yelling and angrily shouts his feelings (however rational or irrational they are, however hurtfully they are phrased), he is trying to gain any kind of control over the conversation. He is trying to have a conversation at all. And fighting about it (whether physically or verbally) might be the only way he knows how to initiate that. Someone else on here noted that fighting seems to be a sort of default(...? not sure how to phrase that) way of resolving conflict in imp culture-- as we see with Millie and Sallie May in their short.

And, quite obviously, but very importantly.... Stolas is not an imp. He isn't familiar with that form of conflict resolution, nor that form of communication. At all. All he knows is Stella screaming at him and insulting him.

Stolas shuts down at the end of Full Moon because Blitz's screaming and insults trigger him after of all those years of Stella's abuse (Stolas' response to which is entirely valid and understandable). Both Stolas and Blitz perceive the other's response as a rejection, both of them are triggered by the other's response. It was depicted in an intensely realistic way-- hurt people hurt people-- people speaking completely different languages with their very different traumas and trauma responses, tbh. Neither of them is more wrong than the other. It's a heart-wrenchingly accurate display of traumatized people who care about each other, yet unintentionally hurt each other... buhhhhhhhhh FEELINGS.

[femboyhunting]

I’m enjoying seeing you blog about course of temptation. Loved the art you posted!

-guilty-pleasure-writings

Thank youuuuuuu! Something I really think is interesting and unique about this game is how complex your interpersonal relationships with NPCs can be. That's the case with NPCs that have scripted storylines as well as without and I just think that's neat. It's sort of realistic in that way and you end up creating your own storylines for these characters based on the events of the game. Relationships to all the characters can be very dynamic and can change many times.

Like my player character Richie and the admirers admirer (named Nolan in my game) had such a rollercoaster of a relationship to each other I think they were every single thing you can be in the game to each other.

Nolan started out absolutely hating Richie's guts. After all the guy he was into (named Kenny in my game) was constantly making googoo eyes at him and inviting him to hang out with the rest of the friend group. It was hate at first sight. He and Kenny had been friends forever and, well, he knew Kenny was a delicate guy. He could tell that Richie was the kind of asshole to break his heart without even thinking about it. They'd both dealt with that kind. Of course they had, they'd always been kind of nerdy that seemed to attract bullies and people who want to take advantage like flies to shit. Nolan delt with that by toughening himself up to the world, teaching himself to put on the kind of additude that dared anyone to mess with him and see if they kept their teeth after. Kenny on the other hand hadn't been able to find that kind of confidence. He was still that sweet, shy, earnest boy he always was. That's why Nolan has to protect him.

But Richie kept showing up to play dnd with the gang no matter how much Nolan bitched at him, no matter how much he warned Kenny against hanging around guys like that. Worse yet he had three classes with this fucking guy. Like some kind of ghost of cunts passed this dickbag popped up everywhere, cursing Nolan's eyeballs with his stupid tall...well built...muscular...Whore Self! Nolan made it his personal mission to antagonize the fuck out of him. Spreading rumors, cornering him, openly talking shit in class, throwing paper wads at his head.

Richie had no idea what that freak's problem was but he sure as fuck wasn't going to take this without fighting back. So they became Enemies ✨

They were constantly getting into fights that campus security had to break up and taking shit about each other until one day Nolan pushed Richie to the ground and pulled back a fist...but hesitated. Ok Richie had always been hot to him. I mean obviously fuck that guy but it was just fact. He had a thing for tall guys, sue him. But now with him on the ground, his hair in his face and spilling out around his head, his lips parted and panting, and oops they were making out. Little did Nolan know Richie had a thing for punk guys with smudgy black eyeliner. And they became Hatefuck buddies✨

So started the era that annoyed Richie the most. (And was my favorite!). Nolan was still being a little shit stirrer but now he was being a horny little shit stirrer. Groping him in public, whispering obscene things to him in class, sending dickpics, jumping him randomly to yank him away into a secluded area to try to force Richie to get him off. And he was still spreading rumors and taking shit about Richie to anyone who would listen.

Richie was sick to death of Nolan's bullshit. And he was sick to death of being forced on his knees and tossed around and having to fight to get an upper hand. So essentially he took the disney channel approach of turning your enemies into friends. He started chatting to him every day whenever he saw him, sitting near him in class, hanging out more with Kenny him and the dnd gang and subsequently getting more invested in dnd. Eventually it actually worked and they be became Fuckbuddies✨ then actual Friends✨ Or the other way around, I can't remember.

Then like a week or something into them being friends Richie accidentally sent Nolan a message asking him out on a date and he actually enthusiastically agreed?? (I actually meant to ask him to hang out and clicked the option to ask him on a date accidentally and was both surprised and pumped he agreed) So now they're Dating✨

Now Richie comes over to Nolan's apartment in town regularly and stays the night so the first thing he sees in the morning is Nolan's face.

Like that's a whole narrative right there??? And that all, aside from the background narrative about Kenny and Nolan's friendship, legitimately happened in the game. That's wild. I love that. Also idk what it is but I love an enemies to fuckbuddies to actually care for each other deeply arc. I absolutely Love messy complicated relationships. They feel so raw and interesting. And human?

[highsomnia]

so...Pristin has just won their second ROTY award of the year at the MAMAs, and I just want to talk about how proud I am of every single one of them and how much they’ve overcome as a group already. Of course awards and recognition are goals that everyone in the industry strives for, but I do think Pristin put a lot of pressure on themselves to get ROTY given the number of times they mentioned it. As a group that was given a decent amount of exposure (through IOI) and great experience-building opportunities (weekly concerts) during their predebut, a lot of people EXPECTED them to do well. While grateful for a solid predebut foundation, the girls likely felt a huge pressure to not only live up to the expectations, but also to prove that they’re worth the time and effort spent - for the company and themselves.

I’m so proud of Nayoung, the legendary leader, guiding her second group - and family - to success. I cannot begin to imagine how difficult her position must be but I’m sure the girls and HIghs couldn’t ask for a better leader. I’m so glad she made it to debut through all her hard work and didn’t have to give up. She will lead Pristin to every future success as well, there’s no question about it.

I’m so proud of Minkyung for being such a good sub-leader and leading the girls during probably the hardest year of their lives while Nayoung and Kyul were gone. Even after the struggles she faced during p101 she didn’t give up and kept the group together while they all dealt with uncertainty of debut and strenuous practices. She may not have signed up to be sub-leader but there’s no doubt she is the perfect bu leader for Pristin, and this ROTY is hers as much as it is Nayoung’s.

I’m so proud of Kyungwon for pursuing her passion unapologetically. Despite being the last to join the roster. Despite being away from Kongie. Despite her mom having no confidence in her. I’ll forever be thankful for her perseverance and for her making my life a lot happier as a result. She may not take her role as the bubu leader seriously most of the time, but she takes care of all the girls well in her own subtle ways and Pristin wouldn’t be where they are without her.

I’m so proud of Eunwoo...so so so proud. It’s heartbreaking but oh so inspiring to remember that that girl standing up there accepting her second ROTY award with her group - her family - is the same exhausted girl that was crying with her members on a bed late at night last year, worrying about not debuting, not succeeding, and on the verge of giving it all up. After what many would consider 3 will-breaking failures, she’s finally made it, and I know there’s only more success to come.

I’m so proud of Yaebin for her passion and hardwork that has got her and Pristin here. She put herself out there on smtm and suffered through missing out on a lot of the weekly predebut concerts due to sickness, but she’s only improved since then. I’m thankful for both her unwavering fire and love for her members.

I’m so proud of Kyulkyung because she’s probably the most tired of them all yet she never lets it show. Flying to and fro between China and Korea, yet she never fails to be friendly with HIghs and constantly works to spread Pristin’s name to the world. As a HIgh I couldn’t be more thankful and proud of her. She deserves this ROTY award as much as she did the first one.

I’m so proud of Yewon because she is literal sunshine and deserves everything good. She’s always juggling school and her commitment to the group, to the point where she has to nap in the studio during their dinner breaks - yet her smile and positivity is unstoppable. Despite having the least fansites and shouts, she consistently takes her time to express her heart and love for HIghs whenever she can. This is only the beginning of Pristin and Yewon’s success, and I hope through more awards and support HIghs will be able to properly reciprocate even a fraction of the love she’s shown us.

I’m so proud of Sungyeon. I’m so proud of this genius producer, composer, and writer. She’s so far from home, giving her ALL into fulfilling her and Pristin’s dreams. I truly couldn’t be more proud. This ROTY award definitely isn’t the last, and I will be waiting for the day one of Sungyeon’s self-made songs wins an award of its own. That day will undoubtedly come and I definitely won’t know what to do with all my excess pride for her and Pristin’s success then.

I’m so proud of Xiyeon because she is the most determined young lady I’ve ever seen. Nearly 10 years of being a trainee, watching other trainees come and go, watching others give up, and never with the certainty herself that she’ll debut. Even after injuring herself during such a crucial point in their careers, she never stopped running forwards with the girls. I’m so glad she never gave up on her dream and has gained 9 lifelong members that love her.

I’m so proud of Kyla because she is the strongest young lady I know. In an industry and world full of hate, she stands in the spotlight halfway across the world away from home and doesn’t back down. I wish she could have been there to accept her two ROTY awards but I hope that she knows that we all miss her immensely and are so very proud of her. There will be more awards to come though so I hope she worked on her arm strength during her leave.

TL;DR I’M SO FREAKING PROUD OF PRISTIN! Even with these ROTY awards they have so much to prove to the world still, and I cannot wait because I know they have the talent, skill, perseverance, passion, and unwavering group bond to back it all up.

[sm-entertain-me]

Come Back Home (M)

Contains: Kim Youngjo (RAVN) x (f) reader, adult language, explicit depictions of unprotected sex, featuring ONEUS, fingering, biting, marking kink, choking, creampie, supernatural!au, supernatural!ONEUS.

Synopsis: All you remembered was waking up in a cloud of darkness, surrounded by six men, each of them looking painfully familiar to you but you couldn’t remember why. For some reason, you trusted them, especially their leader Youngjo.

Darkness surrounded you as you awoke from what felt like a fever dream, your body trembling from the cold despite the room feeling a lot hotter than normal. You wanted to cry out for someone to help or at least tell you where you were, but you couldn’t find your voice. You didn’t understand what was going on or what you had done in your life to be in such a terrifying place, but for some reason, it felt familiar to you.

As you were in your own thoughts, you could hear footsteps to the side of you, causing your body to stiffen at the sound. The darkness never faltered and the sound of the footsteps kept getting louder, immediately forcing your heart rate to skyrocket from the fear of the unknown. Listening carefully to try and get a sense of what was going on around you, it sounded like the footsteps belonged to multiple people instead of a singular being. That certainly didn’t help your nerves as you could feel eyes on you, studying your every move.

“Wh-Who’s there?” You squeaked, finally being able to find your voice after what seemed like an eternity of laying there. Of course, the subjects that were now surrounding you never spoke a word, choosing to only watch the way your body shook and observing you quietly. When you realized you weren’t getting a response, you resulted to demands even though you were certainly not in a position to be making such a scene, “I said who’s there? Answer me!” The only answer you received after your demands was not something you were expecting as a soothing voice responded, “Do you really not remember us, jagiya?”

Although you couldn’t place a name to a face, you had definitely heard the voice before. You couldn’t remember if it was from a dream or from reality, but you had heard the man’s voice before winding up wherever you are now. In fact, you’re having quite a hard time differentiating between reality and your dreams at this point because the longer you stay in this room, you can feel yourself teetering between the two. 

A deeper voice, the deepest voice you had ever heard, could be heard nearest to you as he interrupted your conscience, “Of course she remembers you, hyung. Look at the way her face lit up from your voice. She must’ve missed you the most.” You soon felt a hand on the side of your face, soft fingers caressing your cheek as you were forced to turn to your right. As the person’s fingers lingered on your face, you could feel a slight warming sensation spread through your face and start to trickle to your neck and shoulders. Confused, you pulled your head away from their grasp only to be met with another chill running down your spine from the cold. What is going on with you?

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll take care of you,” The first man’s voice whispered in your left ear this time, feeling his pillowy lips cascade along your ear. Goosebumps began to form over your body after realizing how close the mystery man was to you, the anticipation in your gut building with every passing second. Suddenly you felt the odd weight on your eyelids weaken, allowing you to open your eyes to reveal the mystery men to you.

There were six in total, each of them varying in height and hair color but each of them wore the same devilish grin as they watched your pupils dilate at the sight of them. The six men were dressed in black velour suits, looking agonizingly handsome as their eyes fell on various parts of your body. This made you look down since you couldn’t feel much fabric on you, seeing that you were dressed in black as well, but your outfit was much more revealing than that of the men. You were dressed in a simple black lace set, the bra made out of a beautiful onyx eyelash lace while the skimpy undergarments were a solid black lace, and your legs were adorned with delicate knee high stockings held up by the matching garter belt. You looked insatiable.

However, when you were admiring how you looked in the lace, you couldn’t help but notice a faint black mark forming on the inside of your right arm. You couldn’t make out the shape just yet as it looked fairly new, but you certainly don’t remember getting a tattoo of any sorts. After studying the mark, you looked back up at the men and waited for them to explain themselves since you are having a really hard time understanding the world at the moment.

“It’s common to forget, especially at your age. But let us explain ourselves,” The shortest member spoke up next, understanding your confusion. He then took a step forward and took your hand in his, stroking your hand with his thumb as he looked into your eyes, “I’m Hwanwoong, and these are my colleagues Dongju, Keonhee, Gunhak, Seoho and, the man who you’ll be getting very acquainted with tonight-” Hwanwoong was about to continue when you felt the familiar voiced man at your left side again, his hand resting softly on your shoulder, “Youngjo.”

Again, a steady stream of warmth could be felt from the man’s hand, traveling down your body to rest at your stomach but certainly wanted to go lower. Unknowingly, you tilted your head back and held your lips open to release a sigh that you never knew was approaching, your eyes becoming hooded as you began to relax into Youngjo’s grip. You couldn’t understand why you felt such a connection with him or why he made you feel so warm, but you honestly didn’t mind at this point. Something about him told you to trust him.

Even though you were promised an explanation from Hwanwoong, you never got one. Instead, Youngjo got impatient and ordered all of them to leave the room at once, but not before everyone of them got to send their farewells to you. Seoho was first, placing a gentle kiss on your hand. Next came Gunhak who was a little more straightforward by reaching out and placing a strand of hair behind your ear, kissing you on your cheek. Keonhee was next, kissing your hand like Seoho had done, but then bowed graciously to you. Then came Hwanwoong who opted to give you a hug first, wrapping his arms around you and then kissing the top of your head. Lastly was Dongju, who simply placed his finger under your chin and winked at you. It was at that moment that you became very aware that you were completely at the mercy of Youngjo.

Once Youngjo was certain you two wouldn’t be disturbed, he finally turned to you and smirked at you, “We’ve been waiting to see when you would come back home.” Home? “Of course, darling. This is your home after all. Surely you’ve noticed the mark on your arm?” Youngjo asked curiously, already knowing your answer since he watched you acknowledge it minutes earlier. Also, you were fairly certain you never spoke a word to Youngjo yet, so how did he know what you were thinking? Youngjo took this opportunity to unbutton the button keeping his blazer together, removing the fabric from his body to reveal his honeyed skin to you, noticing the familiar mark on his arm except that it was far darker on his skin than yours.

You couldn’t help but admire Youngjo’s body, feeling your mouth beginning to water at the sight of his abs flexing with every step he took towards you until he was crawling on the bed with you, stopping only when his lips were centimeters from yours. “You look absolutely divine,” Youngjo whispered, leaning forward to connect his lips with yours, you immediately becoming breathless in his embrace. Youngjo smirked against your lips as he leaned into your frame, laying you down completely beneath him as he began to deepen the kiss. His tongue swiped against your bottom lip to indicate his desire and you kindly obliged, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth. 

Youngjo’s lips were intoxicating as he continued to steal both your breath and sanity away, barely paying attention to where his hands were going until you felt his fingers slip into your panties and prod at your soaked hole. When Youngjo felt how wet you were, you felt him groan into your mouth as he pressed not one, but two slender fingers into you. The relaxing warmth from earlier soon became a searing heat as Youngjo pushed deeper into you, pressing his lips harshly against yours to swallow the moans that spilled from your lips. 

“Fu-fuck Youngjo,” you groaned against his lips, arching your back off of the mattress to feel as much as you could of his fingers as his thumb began to work at your clit, drawing sinful shapes into the bundle of nerves. Youngjo finally tore his lips from yours and smirked at the string of spit that connected the both of you, taking his tongue and licking his lips to break it while his gaze never broke from yours. You swore you could’ve cum from that face alone. But just as your high was building, it was quickly taken away as the feeling of Youngjo’s fingers spreading you open were quickly replaced by... well, nothing.

Wondering why Youngjo would deny you an orgasm like that, you propped yourself up to see Youngjo removing the slacks of his suit to reveal his thick cock resting in his hand. As your eyes widened from the sight, Youngjo chuckled at you while he continued to pump himself to his full length, “I didn’t want you to cum from just my fingers.” Once Youngjo was satisfied with the length of his cock, he grabbed your panties and ripped them from your body, smirking as he held the shreds of fabric in front of your face, “Oops.” You didn’t have time to scold him for ripping such a beautiful set because Youngjo managed to shut you up by sliding his cock deep inside of you.

The stretch Youngjo gave you had you arching so far off the bed that you were sure you almost broke your back, a staggered moan falling from Youngjo’s lips as he felt every ripple of your pussy. “Oh fuck, baby. You’re t-taking me so well,” Youngjo praised as he stilled against you, trying to get his bearings together before he came from just entering you. You were that addictive to him, and he was the same for you. 

Youngjo finally got it together as he kept one hand on your hip to pin you to the mattress, taking the other one to place right next to your head to keep himself upright in order to fuck you as deep as possible. Youngjo then drew his hips back, groaning out from the wetness coating his cock and the tightness of your pussy, and then slammed back into you slowly and precisely to make sure he could hit your spot the first time. He could tell that he did by the way your eyes rolled in the back of your head, earning a smirk from him as he quickened his pace on you.

You couldn’t believe the depths that Youngjo could achieve as he fucked you with so much force that you honestly thought the bed was going to break as it slammed against the wall behind you. As you were being fucked senseless, your hands struggled to find purchase on Youngjo’s shoulders, so you opted for digging your nails into his back and leaving red marks in his skin. Youngjo threw his head back from the sensation as he looked down at you with all black eyes, moaning out, “Goddamn, please do that again.” And so you dug your nails deep into Youngjo’s skin, raking your nails down his back yet again, seemingly fueling the fire burning between you two as Youngjo slammed his hips against yours even harder than before.

It didn’t take long for you to become a hiccupping mess underneath Youngjo as you screamed his name from the top of your lungs, cumming extremely hard around his cock. Your nails were dug so deep into his skin that you were sure you drew blood at this point as you continued to lose your mind around Youngjo, sobbing from the pleasure. The warmth in your body burned the hottest it had all night and you could feel yourself becoming undone the longer Youngjo pounded into you. A part of you wanted Youngjo to stop because you were feeling so good, but the other part of you wanted him to keep going because it felt so good.

“Mmm god, babygirl,” Youngjo moaned in your ear, burying his face into your neck as his grip on your hips tightened to keep you in place to take all of his thrusts the way he intended. You could feel Youngjo’s hips begin to falter, indicating that he was extremely close to cumming. As a last ditch effort, Youngjo wrapped his hand around your throat while he sunk his teeth into the other side, drawing out beautiful red flowers to mark you as his and only his. Youngjo delivered one last thrust into you and moaned out your name as he came deep inside of you, biting down again on your neck, but this time feeling him break the skin from not being able to control his hormones. 

Oddly enough, the area where Youngjo bit started to burn with the same heat you had felt when you two were having sex, immediately causing your eyes to open to see Youngjo smirking above you as he was still inside of you. He saw the look of panic on your face but simply shook his head, dismissing your silent question and wiping the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand, “I’ll explain later darling. Right now you need some rest.” Youngjo slowly slipped himself out of you and pushed his slender fingers inside your dripping hole, pushing all of his cum back to where it belonged before kissing you on the forehead, sleep immediately claiming you for the night.

What felt like hours had passed until you awoke again, opening your eyes to see that you were alone yet again, but you were in the same room as before. You slowly picked your torso off of the mattress and leaned against the headboard, trying to get out of bed but where quickly reminded that you received the hardest fucking of your life last night so walking wasn’t exactly the best idea. Instead you sat there and sighed, hoping that someone would come and check on you. 

Soon you heard the door open, revealing all six boys from last night, all dressed in their signature black velour suits. All of them looked ravishing as always as they all smiled at you, Youngjo’s smile being a lot bigger than the others as he shot you a quick wink. Expecting him to come forward, you were pretty surprised to see Gunhak walking over to you and grabbing your hand, turning it over to examine your wrist. Much to your surprise, the faded mark had darkened into what seemed to be a sword with two half circles surrounding it, the exact same mark you had seen on Youngjo the night before.

“Welcome Home.”

[marauder-exe]

AU list!

hi! These are a bunch of Au’s that i could write,and you could request! (reposting because it didnt work the first time)

General

Fake dating (My personal favourite)

Soulmates

Coffee shop

Modern Royalty

Rockstar

Running From The Police

Rebel Against The Goverment

High School

University

Law school

Delayed-Flights-And-Were-Stuck-In-The-Airport-And-Its-Like-2Am

Roommates

Road Trip

Arranged Marriage

Im-Arranged-To-Marry-Your-Brother-But-Were-In-Love

Amnesia

Tattoo-Artist-And-Coffee-Shop-Worker

Loved-Since-Childhood

Professor-Student (of age)

Met-On-Holiday

More detailed

21.You were singing/playing guitar/etc. in the park to protest the war and a policeman tried to dismiss you for 'disturbing the peace' but you argued that you were promoting peace and things got heated and next thing you know you're being arrested for assaulting an officer. You intrigue me, so I'm here to bail you out and maybe take you on a date?

22.the nice one who everybody loves with the grumpy and strict one that the students hate and the students wonder?????????how what the fuck

23.we just had a one-night stand but a massive storm hit so now we’re snowed in, hello awkward

24. i sit at the rental booth at our local ice rink and watch you teach children how to skate

25. alternatively, i watch kids teach you how to skate because you’re a terrible skater

26. i’m running late to an important interview/meeting and you accidentally spill your hot cocoa all over my outfit

27. you’re my hot ski instructor and i’m failing the bunny hill

28. i slip on some ice and you’re the stranger who catches me

29.  i gave my winter coat to a homeless person and come into your store to warm up

30. our friends rent a cabin to go skiing and we’re the only ones who stay inside

31. you’re the asshole of our group and we don’t get along, but then i find out you make soup for the local shelter

32.we’re waiting in line for the club when you complain that your roommate stole your gloves so let me warm your hands up with mine

33.my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry

34.the power goes out in our apartment building, but i’m not prepared for this, and you come to check on me

35.i’m having a snowball fight with my friend in the park and i hit you instead

36.a storm is delaying our flight home and i’m afraid of thunder, please talk to me while we wait

37. we’re both in small claims court and i got into a huge fight with the person suing me but you stepped in to hold me back before security got there

38. i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after

39. i hit you with my car but luckily you’re okay, but we should still exchange information i guess

40. i was worried about buying something off of someone creepy from craigslist but oh no you’re hot

41. my friend talked me into playing a drunken game of spin the bottle even though we’re all adults and now we have to make out

42. we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other

43. my date just made a scene in public and got arrested and now i’m stranded in a city without a ride home

44. sharing a cab together

45. you’re trying to get me to sign a petition and i have no idea what you’re talking about

46. you’re drunk at this festival and dancing on the table and when you eventually fell i caught you

47. we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single goddamn time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not

48. im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask

49. we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no fucking reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???

50.im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???

51. i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???

52. we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know

53. im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit

54. its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes

55. i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party

56. i’m at the beach and some kids thought it was funny to bury me in the sand when i dozed off can you please dig me out

57. it’s unbearably hot and we’re both fighting over the last handheld electrical fan at the shop at the amusement park

58. hey i just met you, and this is crazy, but i get sunburned really easily so can you please help me put sunscreen on my back?

59. thunderstorm after a menacing heatwave and we’re both getting weird looks for dancing in the rain

60.i have no idea who you are but you just fainted right in front of me holy shit dude you need to drink more in this heat

61. we both chased after the leaving ice cream van like ten-year-olds and now we’re both out of breath and a bit embarrassed

62.i clearly reserved this deck chair by putting a towel on it why on earth are you lying on it who the fuck do you think you are

63. My friends bet I wouldn’t buy these three weird and questionable items and you’re my cashier.

64.Once a week I go visit the pet store just to stare at the cute kittens and puppies and you’re the nice employee who always lets me hold them and wait I think I’m going to cry hold on.

65.You’re the DJ of the University’s radio station and every time you give an opinion on a current event I have to call and argue with you because could you seriously be anymore wrong?

66.We both wait tables at the same restaurant and you’re always mad at me by the end of the night because I make more in tips

67.We have the same class and once a week you wear this graphic shirt I don’t understand and I really want to ask you about it.

68.We both work at the same craft store that literally has no customers so we have nothing to do and I’m always reading at the register but you always have to criticize my book choice what the hell?

69.I’m working the concession stand for this week’s home game and this is the fifth time you’ve come back for snacks wait are you flirting with me?

70. we’re at a bookstore and you and I seem to have similar taste in books have you read this one? How about this one?

71. you look like you need help and I’m a professional roller/ice skater but I don’t want you to feel bad about how much you suck but wow you suck

72. You ordered your food before me and they gave you a drink you didn’t want so you gave it to me

73. We’re sitting at adjacent computers in the library and I’m taking extra care not to look at your screen out of respect but what the fuck do you keep laughing at

74. as a joke I yelled out “happy birthday to someone!” in this store and you called back “thank you!” who are you

75. You heard me talking about a TV show in class the other day and now you’re passionately yelling at me about how good it is we’ve never actually spoken before

76. It’s 10:30 at night and I left my glasses at home so I can’t read any of these labels and you’re one of the only people in the grocery store and GODDAMMIT DO YOU HAVE ANY TOMATO SAUCE WITHOUT CHUNKS

77. We go to the same support group; I have social anxiety and you’re a kleptomaniac who sorta stole my heart

78. You thought you were alone at the bus stop so early in the morning so you started passionately singing Fall Out Boy but your Patrick Stump impression could use some work and I’m not really afraid to point that out

79. I’m an artist and you have a really nice face so would you mind if I drew you?

80. We’re rival up-and-coming singers and every time one of us releases a new single the other does a cover to try to make it better; we’re always trying to top each other and out-cute each other, but half our fans aggressively ship us; our agents use this to their advantage and decide we should do a duet because it’ll be popular; unfortunately now that we’re in the same studio and I’ve seen what you’re like I really wanna know what your lips feel like

81.PLEASE I REALLY CANNOT FIND MY CAT AND I KNOW IT’S THREE A.M. BUT NEIL CATRICK HARRIS AND I WOULD BOTH APPRECIATE THE HELP

82. We were both stood up for dates at the same nice restaurant so we decide to eat together and split the check but I dunno you’re pretty interesting aside from your distractingly enormous eyebrows

83. We met at a mutual friend’s cheesy masquerade party and we agree that the only good thing about this party is the masks so you can’t judge a book by its cover only now that we’ve been talking I want to see your face but I don’t know how to ask

84. You used to date my friend who absolutely hates your guts after a messy breakup and now you’re flirting with me and I really shouldn’t be so interested in you but I am

85.We pass each other every day while we’re biking on the same path so we’ve started smiling at each other and one day you’re stopped because you’re having an asthma attack so I offer you my extra water bottle and now we’re talking and now I’M the one who’s breathless

86.I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them

87.I'm a private detective hired to follow you, but you're endearingly boring and mostly I just like watching you and oops, I sort of find you adorable.

88. You've been sketching me for half an hour now, and just shuffled up to hand me the finished product and it's TERRIBLE but you just wanted an excuse to talk to me.

89.  I'm at an art exhibit and I just badmouthed the art, because I don't get it, okay? And it turns out you're the artist. I'm so sorry, maybe I could get you coffee and you could explain what it was supposed to be?

90. We're the only two people who turned up to an underground gig and it should be awkward, but the band is amazing and you asked me to dance and hey, there's nobody watching but us.

91.  You live in the apartment next to me. We're not supposed to have pets, but I KNOW you have a cat. I'll make you a deal, I won't tell, if you let me pet it.

92.  I punched you because I thought you were insulting my friend, but it turns out you know each other and it was an inside joke and I'm so sorry, let me drive you to the hospital?

93. We both wanted to rent a bike for an hour but the only one they have is a tandem bike

94. I’m on a terrible date and you’re my waitor please help me

95.Our dick landlord just evicted us both

96.I’m your neighbor and I can hear you fucking someone who  shares my name

97. You’re sort of famous and we vaguely know each other through bumping into each other all the time but the media thinks we’re dating

98. Your roommate cheated on me and I just threw your laptop out the window thinking it was his

99. It’s 2am on the night of my 21st birthday and we gotta fix this fucking mess by morning or else we’re fucked

100.Fuck you and your bee farm I’ve had enough

Feel free to use any of these as your own! If you wanna request you could drop an inbox saying ‘ could you do ____ AU with this character’!

[jovialjudgebonkalmond]

Inevitable, Ch 3

Y’all, same disclaimers. In addition to all the warnings we’ll include some explicit drug use today, ‘k? Don’t do drugs kids.

Monty held the letter, his hands trembling as he stood rooted in time. He was still licking his wounds from the traitorous blow Charlie had dealt him. They were brothers, Monty had taken the younger boy under his wing from day one and defended him, fought for him, fought beside him... and he had helped Clay Jensen send him to jail. Yes, some part of him was aware that he was booked initially for messing with Tyler, and the murder charges were tacked on after. But it seemed awfully convenient that Tyler chose the moment that Clay was the one facing jail time to report what he had done.

And, clearly, they had gotten to Charlie. And Charlie gave them the keys they needed to clear Clay's name and fucking sell him out for a crime he didn't commit.

So what could Charlie possibly want with him now. His fist crumpled the envelope.

"Wooooooo!" He bellowed, tapping the keg. "We are getting FUCKED UP TONIGHT!"

Charlie laughed, bringing two trays out of his pantry. His dad was out town for the weekend and although they had lost their game that night spectacularly they were going full steam ahead with Charlie's first party.

"I made brownies." He declared, delighted. Monty stared at him, slightly taken aback. One of the other guys snorted, shaking his head.

"Fuck you," Monty said, rounding on him and grabbing a brownie off of the tray, "Charlie boy made brownies and we're all fucking having one." He took a bite, his eyes crossing momentarily as he groaned. "That's delicious."

"Still talking with your mouth full?" Justin teased, shaking his head as he grabbed a brownie.

"Shut up, I'm enjoying my foodgasm." He grumbled through a full mouth pointedly.

"Fuck, these are actually really good. Good job Charlie." Justin said, passing one to Zack.

"Everyone have a fucking brownie. Charlie made brownies." Zach yelled. And, well, Zach was the captain.

It didn't take long before the cheerleaders, the other girlfriends, students from other schools and students from Liberty who definitely weren't invited trickled in. The party spilled through the house and into the front yard and the back yard like a fountain of youth. The music reverberated through the walls like a united heartbeat. Booze was strewn throughout the kitchen, any poison was yours to pick.

Monty found himself in the backyard, nonchalantly rubbing the leaves on the shrubs along the fence. He couldn't understand it...but they just felt so amazing.. Zach staggered up to him, leaning heavily on his shoulder as he stumbled with his crutches.

"Buddy," he slurred, "Look, I wouldn't generally be talking to you right now. But its my brotherly duty to inform you that somebody is attempting to beat your record at Edward 40hands."

Monty gasped incredulously, dropping the leaf and putting his hand to his mouth.

"Noooo way, that's FUCKING SACRILEGE!"

Zach nodded solemnly.

"It is absolutely." He agreed, running his hand over Monty's flannel. "Damn buddy, this is soft."

"Walmart man, walmart."

"Ew." Zach sneered, pushing off of him and staggering off in a zig-zag. "Time to defend your title."

Monty followed him, shuffling his feet along the dewy grass. It was like a gigantic shag carpet that covered like the entire earth. Mind blowing.

"This is some bull SHIT!" He declared, grabbing two bottles of the malted beer. Zach taped them to his hands and opened them. The other boy, who was from another school, laughed.

"I am going to beat you, de la Cruz."

"That's what your dad said last night after I fucked your mom." Monty countered, letting out a delighted giggle.

"What are you, 8?" Foley said, shaking his head. Monty just laughed harder, he never seemed to mind when he was the only one laughing at his jokes.

"3... 2....1!" Zach yelled. "CHUG!"

Monty snapped to attention and began to chug, feeling the weirdly soy sauce tasting beer froth heavily in his gut. He managed to finish one in 4 seconds. The other guy was hot on his tail with about a quarter left. He felt like a marionette on tangled strings that  toddler had decided to hold in the air and spin.

He staggered and belched, grateful he didn't vomit, yet. It was wet and close.

"Hoooooo!" He crowed, seeing the other guy finish his first one. He pounded his second one back, tilting his head back and staggering until he was standing on only one foot.

"Monty's gonna barf. He always does, eventually. Usually after breaking a bunch of shit and one or two faces." Justin warned Charlie. Charlie shrugged.

"That's fucking masterful." The taller boy said in awe. Monty finished the second one even faster. He pumped his fist in the air with the bottle still on it and yelled a battle cry into the night sky.

"I AM THE FUCKING CHAMPIOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!" He crowed, tripping over his own feet. He felt the air rush passed his face and he started to giggle once more. It tickled.

"Oops, careful." Charlie muttered in his ear, arms looped under Monty's left bicep while Zach held on to his right, laughing.

"The champion of knocking yourself out." He jested, cutting the tape off of his hands.

"Are you sober enough to be handling scissors right now, Zachy?"

"Absolutely not."

"Please don't do a Hannah on my wrists."

"That's not funny asshole."

"Its kind of funny."

"Fuck you Monty."

Monty laughed. "Is that all you fuckers have to say to me now? Fuck me?"

"Yes." Justin interjected, helping Zach and Charlie haul Monty to his feet. Monty held on to Justin for a moment to steady himself before he staggered into the house again, tripping over the lip of the patio door and almost taking out a weird, expensive looking bust statue of some old dude.

"Excuse me sir, I don't want to dance with you." He muttered, "I want 'nother brownie." He slurred.

Charlie gripped on to his arm once more, guiding him into the kitchen. "Ah, probaaaaably not a great idea." Charlie giggled.

"But they're deliiiiicious." Monty cooed, pulling his best puppydog face. He tried to imagine he was Justin. He wasn't sure it worked.

"Aww." Charlie muttered, an untraceable but vaguely familiar softness to his eyes and his hands as he held on to Monty, "The thing is, there's just so much MDMA in the brownies."

Monty snorted, shaking his head.

"What?"

"In the brownies. I drugged the brownies."

Monty stared at him, incredulous as he felt his skin quivering as though it was its own entity.

"And here I thought you were just this beautiful, innocent ray of sunshine waiting to be corrupted...and Jesus Christ I am so fucking high right now." He lamented as the reality of it all dawned on him.

"Oh ya. You should see your eyes. You've got like, no irises left. Its kind of scary. Like Dean Winchester in Supernatural season 10."

Monty blinked. "I didn't understand a word of that. But I am HIIIIIIGH." He started to jump around to the erratic cadence of his heartbeat. Charlie quickly joined in. It didn't take long for them to start a miniature mosh pit of football players jumping and slamming into each other in the kitchen.

The air was electric, it had a current, and Monty swore he could feel it caressing him. It took a little while before he noticed Justin wasn't joining in on the fun. He found his teammate sitting on the floor in the library.

The goddamned house had a fucking library.

He was caressing the carpet slowly, but his expression was unbelievably pouty.

"FOLEY!" Monty hollered, making the other boy jump within an inch of his life.

"Fucking hell Monty." He griped, "My heart is racing already as it is." Monty flopped down beside him.

"What's up."

"You're the last asshole here that I want to talk to."

Monty groaned and sighed.

"Don't be a downer. You can pretend not to hate me for one night. We were brothers once, we still are."

"No we aren't. Not anymore."

"What's the matter." Monty shoved his shoulder into Justin's gently, the connection sending fireworks radiating through his body.

"I'm thinking about Jess and how I fucked everything up." Justin said brokenly, "I love her, man, I really love her...and my heart is racing and I can't calm down."

"Woah woah. Take a breath." Monty said calmly. Justin looked at him with that broken, puppy dog eyed face.

"I can't."

"You can. Breathe with me." He took a deep breath, feeling himself melt into the carpet like butter, but sparkle...y... as he closed his eyes. He exhaled and glanced at Justin who seemed to be slowly calming down.

"My heart is still racing."

"That would be because Charlie drugged the brownies."

Justin did a double take. "He what?!"

"He put Molly in the brownies." Monty laughed, "And I thought I was corrupting him. I was so wrong. Holy shit. That boy has an angel's face but-"

Justin stared at him, unimpressed. "Right, that has nothing to do with your influence."

"When have I ever cooked for you? I'd have to do that in order to like, even ever secretly drug anybody which I have never done and oh my god this carpet feels so good."

He ran his fingers over it and stared at Justin imploringly.

"Its like, as good as sex." He insisted. Justin ran his fingers over it, laughing slowly until it turned into a giggle, which Monty returned.

"Nah man, you aren't having the right kind of sex if this is what sex feels like."

"I don't know about that." Monty quipped, his mind drifting to the only thing that was missing from this perfect night...

He didn't remember leaving Justin in the library but he found himself in the bathroom, running his fingers over the tile walls of the shower until he decided to clamor in. He tripped over the side of the marble tub and almost smacked his head off the wall but in some sort of feat of drunken prowess he managed to dance like a wet noodle in mid air and slid down the smooth surface without injury.

"Oohhhhhoooo..." He cooed, listening to his own voice echo back to him like a melody that conjoined perfectly, to his ears anyway, with the music pounding throughout the entire house. He was pretty certain he could hear some people hooking up in the next room. There was also a solid chance he found his way to the bathroom by literally feeling up the walls and railings of the house in an elaborate Indiana Jones fantasy.

He flipped the showerhead on and played with the water's temperature, feeling the droplets soak through the front of his shirt and running down the front of his pants. Only one thing was missing.

He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and feverishly clicked call, biting his lip.

"What the...Monty?" An incredibly groggy voice answered on the other end. Monty's face split into a wide grin and he slid up and down the tub like a slip and slide, using his legs to propel himself at the front of the tub and sloshing water out over the edges.

"You sound so sleepy." He giggled.

"Uh...Monty, its 3 in the morning."

"What is time, anyway." Monty countered ponderously, "It passes so meaninglessly."

He heard Winston laugh softly and he felt the fireworks inside of his body exploding and the fluttering of the tiny, papery butterflies making his heart stutter. Or, maybe, that was the drugs.

"How high are you right now?" Winston asked, sounding half exasperated half amused.

"Hello." Monty said theatrically, "It's me..."

"Beautiful, Adele... what are you doing, are you safe?"

"I'm in the tub. My clothes are so heavy and the water feels delicious. I think this could have been the best night of my life, I just realized that you are missing." He could feel Winston smiling through the phone, and he laid back into the water, resting his head on the cold marble of the tub as the shower rained down on his legs, filling the tub. He paddled his feet like a toddler, splashing up the tiles of the walls and over the edges of the tub. He didn't notice Justin enter the bathroom in a staggering heap, his abdomen dragging along the marble and wood double vanity for support.

Monty couldn't stop talking, it bubbled out like word vomit...at least it wasn't actual vomit.

"And I just love you." Monty sighed, running his free hand over the tiles, his fingertips dancing alight with the sensation. It made the hair on his arms stand up. "I just love you." He repeated.

Justin's face exploded with shock and he leaped into the tub, displacing nearly half the volume of the water on to the floor. Monty shrieked shrilly and almost dropped his phone as Justin began to thrust and grind on him, hooting with laughter and glee.

"HAVE I DIED?! DID HELL FREEZE OVER?! MONTGOMERY DE LA CRUZ SAID I LOVE YOU! TO SOMEONE! ARE YOU FAKING THIS?! IS THERE ACTUALLY A REAL PERSON ON THE OTHER END OF THAT PHONE RIGHT NOW?! WHO IS SHE?!" He screamed as he continued to pound on to Monty's thighs, the tub surrendering virtually all its contents as the water from the showerhead sprayed them. The bathroom, rest in peace.

Monty pulled his phone away from Justin as he reached for it. "No no no no." He murmured, "This one isn't for you." He shushed, pressing his fingertips against Justin's lips, giggling softly. "It's for me, only me. You understand...don't you?" Justin blinked.

"I don't know how I do, but I do man...I do. Fuck." They stared at each other for a moment, both of their eyes an inky, dilated black without any irises in sight. They wore matching, loopy grins. Monty put the phone back to his ear, suddenly fearful that Winston had hung up on him.

"I'll let you get back to your party...have fun." Winston whispered quietly into the phone. "Be safe."

"I am always safe!" Monty declared incredulously. Justin and Winston unknowingly laughed in unison. Monty heard the phone go silent as Winston hung up and his face shattered, shooting Justin a wounded puppy face.

"Does she love you too?" Justin asked, resting his head on the marble beside Monty. They really didn't fit together inside the tub very well, squashed like sardines in a can.

"I don't know...." Monty murmured. Justin made a humming noise in his throat and let Monty contemplate. "I think so?" He settled on.

"Then we have to celebrate," Justin said solemnly, "For love."

Monty nodded, with equal sudden seriousness.

"For love." He declared.

They both scrambled out of the tub, the flooded bathroom spilling into the carpeted hallway as they tripped over one another and shoved each other. They drank, heavily, the liquor slowly draining from the bottles shot after messy, spilled shot. They danced, dripping with sweat and in Monty and Justin's cases they were actually just dripping wet and soggy. And friends again, if only for just this moment held in time.

Slowly as time passed, the house began to empty, leaving a path of destruction in the party's wake. For Monty, the world was spinning off of it's axis. Gravity was all too much and yet non-existent at the same time but the - literal - ecstasy was still making him feel all too on top of the world to listening to his intoxication and sit down. He used his arms to drag himself across the walls and fell against the sofa.

Charlie was sprawled, watching the ceiling spin above him.

"That's... was eh-pic." Monty groaned, his words coming out like mashed potatoes,  flopping into the sofa and sprawling over Charlie. Charlie leaned into him and laughed, running his hands over the embroidered, antique upholstery.

"I am still so fucked up." Charlie lamented with a sigh. Monty murmured in agreement, his eyes fluttering as the world spun around him dangerously. He just needed to close his eyes for a little while, but the stimulants pounding through his veins wouldn't allow him to rest. He gave up and glanced at Charlie.

"You did...good job." He breathed, his body feeling hot and cold and entirely all wrong.

"Wait...why are you wet..?" Charlie laughed, realizing Monty was dripping all over him. Monty's brows drew together in confusion.

"Am I...?"

"You're soaked." Charlie said, running his hands over Monty's shoulders. Monty shivered, closing his eyes for a moment. The room was blurring around him and it was making him feel queasy.

"Monty...?"

"Mmm?"

Monty's eyes blinked open again, and then he felt the soft warmth of the other boy's lips pressed against his. His eye's widened comically and he laid there, frozen, with his heart hammering in his chest and a wave of panic crashed over him. He pushed away clumsily and fell off the couch in a heap. He staggered to his feet, running for the kitchen. He felt it bubbling up again, word vomit maybe? No.

Actual vomit.

He retched over the garbage can, losing about a liquor store's worth of stomach contents before the entire world tilted sharply to the left and his vision went black. He crumpled to an unceremonious heap on the floor.

Monty climbed on to his bunk and pried open the vent that was level with it. He learned within a few days of his transfer (and after a victory in the squabble for the top bunk because he wasn't a fucking bottom) that the bolts were loose and clearly past inmates had used this as a stash. He popped the letter and file inside, realizing he was still crushing the envelope in his fist and tossing it in the garbage can below and replacing the bolts for appearances and settled with his elbows bent and his hands behind his head. His vein in his neck continued with its steady, relentless, tick tick ticking. He'd decide what to do about Charlie after dinner, he reasoned.

And then there was the Winston of it all...

[goodlucktai]

If you're still taking requests, could you do Kitanishi please? Maybe Nishimura trying to hide a horrible secret or something really bad that happened with his relatives because Kitamoto is finally getting time with his family or something? Bonus points if Natsume finds out there's trouble, rats him out, and there's gang feels before Kitamoto comes to get him. Or if you had another thought in mind?

me: oops its getting late, i better get to bed *checks inbox* On Second Thought– 

x

The thing is, nothing even happened. 

Satoru got woken up early in the morning, beating the sun by a good margin. Kiyoshi’s frenetic energy was familiar in a dread-inducing way, enough to jolt Satoru wide-awake almost on its own. 

He pulled his school uniform on while his brother shoved workbooks into his bag, heart pounding as he listened for the sound of footsteps in the hall. 

Kiyoshi hustled him down the stairs, into the dark of the kitchen. He gave Satoru a few bills out of his own wallet, told him to buy himself breakfast at the combini when he stopped to get a lunch box.  

Satoru pocketed the money numbly. Something in his face gave his brother pause. 

“He’s only here for the weekend,” Kiyoshi said. It was a moment that felt stolen and daring in this house where their father could appear at any moment. “Just stay with Atsushi, alright? I’ll call you when he’s gone.”

It was their usual arrangement. Most times, mom would tell Kiyoshi when their father had a flight home, but sometimes even she didn’t know. 

Satoru didn’t even sit down to put his sneakers on properly, just crammed them on so the backs were folded under his heels, and eased the door open as quietly as he could. 

“See you,” he said, and took off into the cold morning. 

What he didn’t say was that Atsushi had plans this weekend. His dad was well enough to travel, so the whole family was going away to visit Atsushi’s grandparents. Mana had asked Satoru to water her plants. 

What could he say? Kiyoshi was already worried and frustrated. The absolute last thing Satoru wanted was to give his brother another reason to pick a fight with their dad. The best thing to do was keep your head down.

The lady at the combini was coming off an overnight shift, but she stayed long enough to ring Satoru up. She and the clerk coming in to take over for her chatted with Satoru for awhile, keeping him company while he picked apart a melon bread and the sky turned rosy and bright outside. 

When the bell above the door rang, Satoru looked round to see Tsuji gaping at him. 

“Masa-chan!” he said brightly, spreading his arms for a big hug. 

The class president sputtered, but there was an involuntary smile starting on his face, and already Satoru’s horrible morning was edging a little bit closer to okay. 

“It is way too early to deal with you,” Tsuji said, but the way he bumped Satoru’s shoulder on his way past said he didn’t mean it. 

Satoru heckled him while he picked out a lunch box, and then endured a lecture about healthy eating that had him picking out the same one. The clerks were smiling as they checked out, and didn’t charge Satoru for his breakfast, since, the first clerk pointed out in a kindly way, he didn’t seem to enjoy it. 

Tsuji was giving him a sidelong look as they walked to school together. 

“Everything okay?” he asked. “I stop by that store all the time this early in the morning, and I never see you there.”

“My phone died last night, so I ended up going to bed super early,” Satoru lied cheerfully, swinging the plastic shopping bag back and forth. “Couldn’t get back to sleep! At least I had extra time to finish my homework.”

Tsuji rolled his eyes, placated by an on-brand excuse. There was a hollow pit in Satoru’s chest, and it was a miracle his hands weren’t shaking, but it did help having a friend to talk to about an upcoming school trip and the latest chapter of a manga they both follow and whether or not Suzuki from class three is going to muster up the courage to ask Adachi on a date.

By the time Natsume steps into homeroom, Satoru feels mostly okay. He greets Natsume cheerfully, leaning forward over his desk on his elbows, and invites himself over for the weekend. Natsume smiles at him as he sets his bag down, and tells him sure, of course he can come over, Shigeru is away for a work conference and Touko would love to have someone else to cook for. 

Having a solid plan settles some of Satoru’s jangling nerves. He can’t focus during class, his mind darting away like a startled bird at every other second, but somehow he isn’t called on even once. He’s worried about Kiyoshi, he’s worried that dad might take umbrage with Satoru avoiding him, he’s worried that he’ll have to face dad before he leaves again. 

Natsume turns around in his seat, tapping Satoru’s desk with his fingers to get his attention. He looks fondly amused when Satoru jerks back to the present.

“We’re meeting the others on the roof, right?”

Satoru grins woodenly. “That’s the plan! You go ahead, I’m gonna stay here and finish my maths homework.”

Natsume tilts his head. “Tsuji told me you finished your homework this morning.”

When had that conversation happened? A glance around the room proves Tsuji has already bustled off somewhere. Satoru says, “I got most of it done. I managed to forget my maths workbook though.”

“Why didn’t you just ask to see mine?” Natsume asks, reasonably enough.

“‘Cause I’m trying to turn over a new leaf.” He sniffs haughtily, digging through his bag for the appropriate workbook so he doesn’t have to look at Natsume’s thoughtful expression. “I can’t believe you want me to cheat. I’m telling Sasada.”

“A new leaf,” his friend says dryly. He seems to buy it, though, and settles back in his chair. “Well, I’ll just wait for you to finish.”

Panic shoots through him, white-hot, like electricity. Satoru’s fingers seize, bending the cover of his book. He gives himself a second to try to tamp it down. 

“Come on, you don’t have to do that,” Satoru says, hoping it sounds casual. 

It must not. Natsume frowns. “It’s not a big deal.”

Of course it’s not. But if they don’t go up to the roof, then their friends are going to find them here instead, and Satoru doesn’t think– he doesn’t want– it won’t be good. Natsume is still looking at him, and his frown is reaching into his eyes now, so Satoru pushes himself out of his chair with a grin.

“You’re right! I’m just gonna go get a drink real quick. Be right back.”

“Nishimura– “

Natsume’s bewildered voice follows him out the door. Satoru tries to convince himself he isn’t actively running away, and he doesn’t really manage it; he’s a pretty bad liar, as it so happens. He weaves through the busy hall and wracks his mind for somewhere he can go and be left alone. Not the vending machines on the first floor, not the roof– the library? The bathroom?

Wait. Tsuji mentioned an empty classroom, he was going to use it for a club meeting after school. 

Satoru can barely get the door shut behind him, fumbling at the recessed handle so badly that it takes both hands. He’s dizzy, like he can’t get enough air in. He lurches over to the nearest chair, buries his face in his arms, and tells himself to stop. 

Nothing even happened. 

Kiyoshi got him out of the house, Natsume is going to let him stay over, everything is going to be fine. 

The door rattles open and Satoru doesn’t hear it. Chairs are moving around, and the door closes again, but it takes a hand on his wrist to alert Satoru to the presence of others in the room. He jerks his head up, and Kitamoto’s worried eyes meet his. 

Satoru quickly finds someone else to look at. Taki is right behind him, her arms folded tightly against her middle as if she needs the physical reminder not to reach out and snatch Satoru up in a hug. 

“You’re missing lunch,” he says dumbly. 

“Lunch has been over for five minutes,” Taki tells him in a gentle tone. “We’ve been looking for you.”

Tanuma and Natsume are here, too, looking anxious. They’ve pulled in chairs as close as they can, their knees and shoulders smushed together. Satoru is craning his neck to look around at them instead of Kitamoto. He’s quickly losing his grip on this situation, he can feel it getting away from him.

Satoru’s heart is still pounding. It feels like it’s going to give out at any moment. He’s senselessly, intensely afraid. 

“I didn’t mean to,” Satoru starts, and to his horror, his voice loses strength and sort of tapers off. Clearing his throat, he tries again. “I’m being stupid. Let’s go back to class before we get detention.”

None of them budge an inch. Kitamoto says, “Satchan.”

Satoru bursts into tears. 

It’s an ugly, gasping thing. Mostly silent, a trick he learned early on. He’s always been quick to cry, ever since he was a kid. Kiyoshi’s been protecting him for a long time. Satoru tries to make it easy when he can. 

Kitamoto lets go of his wrist and wraps both arms around him instead. Taki makes a wounded noise and presses against Satoru’s back. The weight of them, the warmth of them, is grounding. It gives him something to focus on, something that pushes the lingering dread far away, then farther, until it finally falls off the edge of some precipice and Satoru can’t reach it anymore. 

For the first time since Kiyoshi woke him up this morning, Satoru’s heart begins to settle. He’s breathing slow and deep and even, buried in the familiar smell of Kitamoto’s laundry detergent and shampoo. It’s what Kitamoto’s bed smells like on the nights Satoru sleeps over. It’s an instant comfort. 

Kitamoto squeezes him tighter when the last little bit of tension in Satoru’s body finally goes away. 

“Okay,” he says evenly. “Talk to me.”

It really is that simple. With Kitamoto, it’s always that simple. That’s the whole reason Satoru was trying to avoid him. They’ve known each other forever; no one loves Satoru better. All it takes is one word from his best friend and Satoru is spilling his guts. He doesn’t want Kitamoto to feel torn in two directions; Satoru knows he’ll feel bad about being gone for the weekend while Satoru’s father is in town, but Satoru doesn’t want him to miss a trip he’s been looking forward to. 

“It’s only for the weekend,” Satoru says. “Natsume said I could stay at his house.”

“Of course you can,” Natsume says fiercely. “Touko would let you move in if you asked. One of us would probably try to smother the other with a pillow within one week of sharing a bedroom, but I’m sure we could work something out.”

“You could stay with me, too, Nishimura,” Tanuma interjects. “My dad loves having you around.”

“We haven’t had a sleepover in ages.” Taki is still nestled against Satoru like a barnacle, her voice a pleasant hum. “Isamu likes arguing about movies with you. You know my parents are overseas, there’s no one I have to ask for permission. You can just come over, any time.”

Kitamoto scoops the hair back off of Satoru’s forehead and plants a kiss there instead. He doesn’t care that Satoru is all sweaty and gross, or that their friends are watching. 

“See? Even if I wasn’t going to take you with me this weekend, you would have plenty of other places to go,” Kitamoto says. He messes up Satoru’s hair, his grin crooked and affectionate. “But I am. You and my grandma are gonna get along like a house on fire. Text Kiyoshi and let him know, okay?”

Taki makes an annoyed sound. Satoru smiles a lot sooner than he thought he’d be able to. 

When they get back to class, Nomiya-sensei just waves them to their desks. Tsuji is turned around in his seat to watch them cross the room, concern writ large across his face. He probably told Satoru’s friends where to find him. He probably let their teachers know they’d be a little late returning to class. He didn’t say anything, but he must have been worried since this morning.

“Alright?” Tsuji asks in a whisper as they sit down.

“All good, Masa-chan,” Satoru whispers back. The nickname makes Tsuji’s face wrinkle in that reluctant, can’t-help-himself smile; it makes Satoru feel a little more like himself. “Thank you.”

[cnrmrphy-blog]

party time

summary: you and the boys go to a high school party for the first time.   warnings: underage drinking, mild cursing author’s note: please please PLEASE be responsible when you drink, i am not condoning this whatsoever.  this is also lowkey based off of real experiences so sorry if this doesn’t reflect you lol. 

life as we know it masterlist 

--

You sat at your usual table in the back corner of the library as you sipped your water, reading a question for your history study guide.  The rest of you were relatively quiet, with Alana and Zoe quietly talking about something you couldn’t quite hear (they were unfamiliar, but a welcome addition.  They normally hung out with other people during lunch).

“Did you guys hear about the party happening on Friday?  The one Clark or Kyle or whatever his name’s throwing?” Jared looked up from his phone. 

“I think?  Heard some girls talking about a thing on Friday in bio, maybe that’s what they meant.” Evan stated. 

“Actually, yeah.  Some of my band friends are going.” Zoe said mindlessly, looking over from her conversation with Alana. 

“We should go.” Jared said it nonchalantly, but had a glint in his eyes.  

“Yeah, no.” Connor didn't look up from his book.  You weren’t even sure if he was listening until he spoke up. 

“Actually, I think it might be fun!” You played with your pencil as you thought aloud, “I’ve never been to a party before.”

“Seriously?” Connor flicked his eyes at you in disbelief.  You never once implied you even cared about having a “real” high school experience. 

You shrugged in response, “It could be fun. Or a great story to tell when we’re all old.  Either way, it’s for the experience.” 

He rolled his eyes at you, “I would rather get yelled at by Larry.” 

“I think I agree with Connor… Not about getting yelled at by his dad!” Evan fidgeted with his fingers and wouldn’t look up from his food, “I just don’t know about going to a party with a bunch of people I don’t know…”

“Well, we can’t go sadly.  We were going to see that new horror movie right?” Alana looked at Zoe for confirmation.

“Yep.” Zoe popped her lips and leaned back in her seat.  “You guys should go though.  Think about all the dumbasses you’re gonna see.”

“Yes!  Like a social experiment or study!” You sat up straighter with a bright smile stretching your face, looking at Jared, “I wanna go.”

“Sweeet,” Jared looked at Evan expectantly.  He wasn’t taking no for an answer. 

“I, uh, I guess?  Maybe?  You guys will for sure be there?” Evan trained his focus on you more so than Jared. 

“Of course!  The buddy system never fails.” You turned your body towards Connor, who was eerily silent the entire time.  “Please come?  It won’t be the same without you.” 

He bit the inside of his cheek and gave you a long, hard look. You didn’t back down from his gaze. 

Finally, he sighed.  “Fine.  Someone has to be the sober one anyways.” He grimaced, putting his face in his hands, “I’d never thought I’d say that.” 

You weren’t sure if your smile could get wider.  You met eyes with Jared and fist bumped.  

Zoe laughed, “You guys can come back to our place when you get plastered.” 

—

You were wandering through a sea of bodies with a solo cup in your hand.  You went to get another drink but you seemed to have lost Connor.  And you have absolutely no idea where Jared and Evan went—the last you saw, Evan was pleasantly tipsy, swaying to the music and Jared was approaching true drunkenness.  You’ve been alone for… twenty minutes?  Thirty?  

You didn’t know how long you’ve been there, but you enjoyed the music and the drink in your hand tasted like straight up punch so you didn’t care.  You kind of wished you found Connor by now though.  As broody as he was, he made things more fun with his snarky commentary.

You hummed to yourself as you took a gulp.  Ooh, that made your gut feel warm.  Actually, your entire body felt warm. 

You pressed your back against the wall as you watched everybody around you.  A couple making out, some playing beer pong, others dancing (badly, but live and let live right?). 

You moved to the rhythm of music pulsing through hidden speakers, hoping to see a familiar mess of hair in the crowd.  He’d find you, you knew he would.

“Y/N!” 

You snapped your head towards the sound of your name and your heart leaped.  Connor!

“Hi!” You basically sprang from your position to lunge at him.  Your drink spilled on the carpet (whoops) and you dropped your cup.  You threw your hands around his neck and threaded your fingers through his hair.  “Where’d you go?  Missed you.” 

“...How much did you drink?” Your face was close to his, and you saw him turn pink.  Was he warm too?

You backed up from him and paused, looking at your fingers to count. “Um.  Three?  Four?  It was the red stuff.”

“The red stuff.” Connor took a deep breath and grabbed your hand.  “C’mon, let’s find the others and go home.”

“But but but I don’t wanna!  I’m having so much fuuuun.” You didn’t understand, why did he want to leave?  

“Oooh I bet you are.” He tugged at your hand slightly, but you refused to budge.  “Y/N, let’s go.” 

“But why?”  You used his tight grip to your advantage and pulled him towards you, the sudden movement making him stumble.  Wrapping your arms around his middle, you nuzzled your head into his neck.  “Con, can we please stay?  Only for ten more minutes?”

“Y/N—you know what, sure.” His voice was flat, and he grumbled something under his breath but you couldn’t hear it.  He reluctantly wrapped his arms around you and placed his chin on your head.  “You’re staying with me though, alright?”

“Okay!” 

He stepped back and you gave a squeak of protest.  He grabbed your hand again and laced your fingers together, “Let’s go find Evan and Jared.”

You squeezed his hand and hummed in agreement.  You were just happy you didn’t have to go yet.  

You two weaved through the crowd, but you weren’t paying attention to where you were going.  Connor seemed to know what he was doing.  You trusted him.

Although now that you thought about it, you didn’t really want to be here anymore.  You were starting to get sweaty, and the music wasn’t even good...  And Connor seemed to really want to leave… Maybe you should?  You wanted him to be happy, and you were getting kind of sleepy.

Actually, nah.  I just want more alcohol. 

You spotted a cup full of… something on a banister as you two passed by.  Your foggy brain made a snap decision, and you snatched it.  You grinned (a little deviously if you were being honest) to yourself as you sipped it, almost as if you were playing a game with Connor that he didn’t know he was playing.  Let’s see how much I can sneak before he notices, that sounds fun. 

You two stopped in what seemed like the dining room.  You looked up from your cup to see Evan smiling amusingly at Jared (who was… twerking?  Good for him.) 

My friends!

You beamed at them and called out, “Evan!  Jared!” 

They looked over at you, Jared cheering your name and Evan waving back.  They both had red solo cups in their hands.  

“Christ, someone please kill me.” Connor pinched the bridge of his nose and tugged you along with him as you two walked closer.  

“Connor my man, what’s shaking?” Jared laughed loudly and slung an arm around Evan’s shoulders.  “And Y/N, there’s our favorite girl!” 

Evan rolled his eyes at Jared and slung him off.  He looked so much more at ease than he normally does. 

You mumbled hi and leaned against Connor.  You sipped your drink again, smiling.  Your face hurt with how much you were smiling tonight. 

Connor ignored Jared and looked at Evan, “How sober are you right now?” 

“Not enough to drive, but enough to see straight.” He shrugged, but set his cup down.  

“That’s good enough.  We’re leaving.” Connor gave Evan a pointed look.  The two seemed to have an unspoken conversation with an occasional glance between you and Jared. 

You ignored it and took a swig of your drink again. 

“Yo, what’s that?” Jared pointed at your cup and stumbled towards you. 

“Um, it tastes like Coke.  Want some?” You blinked.  Every reaction you had seemed to be in slow motion, like you were living in a world of molasses.  Jared nodded vigorously, but didn’t have enough time to take it from you before Connor noticed. 

“Wait, what?” His head snapped towards you and he gave you an incredulous look.  “Where did you get that?” 

You tried to fight your grin, knowing full and well you were about to get in trouble.  You might as well have been a child that was about to get scolded by her parent for stealing a piece of candy.  You vaguely gestured in the direction you just came from.  

“Give me that!” He took the cup from your hand and dumped it in a potted plant next to you, chucking it on the ground somewhere.  You pouted and hugged his side as a silent apology.  

Oops, game over. 

“You’re all cut off.  Jared, hand it over.” Surprisingly, Jared offered the cup he was holding with no resistance.  

Evan grabbed Jared’s arm to steady him.  “Alright buddy, let’s go.”

Connor glanced down at you snuggling into his side.  You weren’t really paying attention to anything, and you had this vacant look in your eyes.  Yeah, you were ready to go too. 

“Y/N/N, you okay?  Can you walk?” Connor bent down to mumble in your ear.  You just smiled and nodded.  He didn’t look like he believed you. 

“Okay then.  Let’s go to the car.” Connor gently untangled you from him to grasp your elbow, making sure you wouldn’t fall.  He turned his head to look at Evan, “You got him?” 

“Uh, sure?  Jared, please stand up—!”

“Bro, like, not gonna lie—I legit feel like I’m about to puke.” 

Connor whipped his head back around, “You vomit in my mother’s car and you’re dead.”

“Maybe we should make our way outside?” Evan had his arm around Jared’s waist with his arm around Evan’s shoulders.  His eyes were pleading with Connor to just go.

Connor narrowed his eyes, but nodded.  He secured his grip on you and started to walk to the front of the house.  The four of you maneuvered through the thick crowd, but it was admittedly difficult.  You wondered why the ground kept on moving, sort of like you were in a fun house and everything was distorted.  Sure, everything seemed fuzzy before, but now you couldn’t seem to keep your balance.  Why was everything spinning?

Oh.  Maybe you really did have one drink too many.  

The temperature dropped a few degrees, and you noticed that it smelled less like body odor.  The lighting changed, and you assumed you were outside.  Connor stopped and placed his hand on your waist to hold you up.  You felt your stomach lurch, almost like your stomach crawled up your throat. 

“I… don’t feel so hot.” 

Connor looked down at you with furrowed eyebrows. He would be mean to Jared, but he could never be mean to you.  “...You need to throw up?  Or can you hold on until we get to my house?” 

“I can wait.” You were quiet, and it would have been almost pitiful if you weren’t absolutely trashed. You knew you were never going to hear the end of this later.  Connor was sweet now, but this was perfect blackmail material.  

I’m so fucked, but that’s a tomorrow problem. 

“Yo, I gotta—I’m just gonna—“ Jared pulled away from Evan and basically threw himself to the bushes by the house.  You decided you kind of didn’t want to see him throw up and that maybe he wanted some privacy. 

“Oh gross.” Evan whispered to himself but didn’t realize that it wasn’t a whisper at all. “Uh, you okay Jared?”

All Jared gave as a response was a muffled groan as he leaned forward on his knees.  You kind of just wanted to lay down.  

“...Jesus Christ.” Connor’s eyes were wide, exasperated and a little bit helpless.  

You hugged him again (which you were doing quite a lot tonight, weren’t you?).  “You’re the best you know.”

“I’m well aware.” He didn’t look at you but you saw his lips twitch upward. “You guys good?  I’m taking Y/N to the car.” 

“We’re, uh, we’re good!” Evan gave an awkward thumbs up as Jared dry heaved.  You would have laughed if the world wasn’t spinning.  

“Cool cool.  Y/N/N, I’m going to carry you, okay?  Is that okay?” 

“That’s okay.” That sounded like fun, actually. 

All of a sudden, you were lifted off the ground with Connor’s arms under you, and your hands instinctively went around his neck.  

“Oh!  I’m flying!”

“Uh huh.” 

You thought for a second, playing with some strands of his hair.  “Thank you for coming with me.” 

He glanced at you, but quickly looked away. “I wasn’t gonna leave you alone.” 

“I know,” You leaned your head against his shoulder, “But still. You’re my best friend, you know that?”

“...And you’re mine.”

[hopelessromanticspoonie]

To Keep You Safe

Title: You committed, I’m your crime

Chapter: 4/?

Author: hopeless_romantic_spoonie

Summary: Life as the assistant to Tony Stark was busy, but boring. All of that changed when I touched something I shouldn’t have and woke up with strange new abilities. If I thought that trying to figure out my new place in life as an Avenger was tough, I had no idea what was in store for me once I ran into the frustrating God of Mischief, Loki. 

Rating: E (later on)

Notes: Reminder that this is un-Beta’d, so please excuse any typos or grammatical errors I no doubt missed upon my revisions!

Also on Ao3 here :)

Warnings for this chapter: Language, blood, injury, destruction

~~~

After my little stunt on the roof, Tony decided my superpower training with Wanda needed to begin immediately. Waiting until I fully healed wasn’t an option if I was going to destroy the Compound with a–totally justified–mood swing.

Wanda did her very best in trying to help me figure this whole geokinesis thing out. She was patient and didn’t give up on me even when I gathered my hair in my hands and shrieked in frustration. She ignored any bellyaching or whining I sent her way and remained the ever-supportive tutor. Through our combined perseverance, I slowly became aware of the constant thrumming inside me, like a thousand bees buzzing just beneath my skin that got really pissed off when I was surrounded by nature or experienced heightened emotions. We worked for hours outside each day, her coaching me to harness my emotions and funnel them outward properly–AKA not mindless destruction of expensive property and killing of houseplants. It was frustratingly easy for her. She’d been working on her powers for years, while I’d had less than a week.

It was exhausting work, and I hadn’t even started fight training with Nat yet. That woman was going to kick my ass six ways to Sunday, and to say I was dreading it was an understatement of epic proportions. I collapsed into bed each night and passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow, often forgetting to shower or eat until I woke up disgusting and ravenous the next morning. It was easy to understand some of my new roommates’ preference for protein drinks. I chugged them down on my way to the lawn in the middle of the Compound each morning, forcing myself to get something in my system before we began.

Half of the time I just looked constipated as I stared at leaves or small rocks, willing them to do what I commanded and getting discouraged as the wind proved more effective. Then something would move, but not how I wanted, and we’d have to try again but harder or differently. It wasn’t a very satisfying process, to say the least.

I even had some meetings with Bruce. He knew more than anyone how important it was to keep a handle on strong emotions and, since that seemed to be a huge trigger for me and I refused to let Tony hire an actual professional about it, offered to help me out as best as he could.

“Jen, what seems to set off your anger the most?” Bruce asked kindly during one of our ‘sessions’. Sitting in his office of neutral warm beige and soft lighting, He might as well be my therapist. With him perched across from me in a tasteful armchair and me cross-legged on a plush couch, we at least looked the part. All he was missing was a clipboard and look of feigned interest. But if it meant less destructive outbursts and my eventual freedom I’d pour my guts out to him all day long.

“Loki.” The answer came without hesitation. That Asgardian serpent knew how to get under my skin like nothing else, and always took advantage of that fact at the worst time. Although to be fair, he did make everything worse when he deemed us worthy of his presence, so it wasn’t just me.

“Why does he bother you so much? He can’t hurt you, not here. He’s stuck on base so we can keep an eye on him, so he has to play nice. And you’re getting better at controlling your powers, so you can fight back. He only has the power to hurt you because you let him.”

The truthful answer immediately sprang to mind, but I hesitated, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth and staring at the floor. I didn’t talk about my past. Bruce was a great guy, and he wouldn’t judge me, but talking about it meant feeling it again, and I wasn’t so great with that feeling thing people were supposed to do. Much easier to work myself to death and pass out to some fun nightmares, then repeat. But to make him explain the deeply rooted loathing that I harbored for Loki, I’d have to give him some sort of explanation.

When I looked up to him, hoping that he would just let it go, the curious concern on his face appeared well and truly settled onto his worn features. He even sank further into the cushioned chair, as if he could wait all day for me to reply. “He’s an annoying little shit,” I tried, internally crossing my fingers that he’d believe my easy and obvious answer.

“We all know that. But he also doesn’t make us angry enough that we break an entire wall of windows or kill a tree just by walking by it.”

Oops.

“His face is just really punchable?” I tried again. Going by the unchanged expression on his face, it didn’t work.

Damn. Guess it was honesty time.

“He destroyed my life years ago. Seeing his smirking face every day just rubs it in. He shouldn’t be free to roam around after what he did,” I mumbled quickly, staring down at my hands twisting in my lap. I had taken to carrying a palm-sized pointed stone in my pocket at all times. It gave me something to practice with when I was idle, and the paranoid side of me knew that I might one day need some sort of weapon I could manipulate while surrounded by man-made materials. I fiddled with it now, turning it over in my fingers and rubbing one side absentmindedly with my thumb. Anything to avoid looking at Bruce as he peeled away my protective layers to reveal my soft, gooey insides.

“The Battle of New York? Tony told me you worked at Stark Tower when it happened. But you’re here. You’re safe. He didn’t hurt you, and if he did, it wasn’t permanent,” Bruce soothed, his voice laced with sincere compassion.

“He didn’t hurt me, no.”

“I know that trauma can linger for years after-”

“I don’t have PTSD. Tony paid for me to see a therapist after the attack, and I worked though the trauma of the situation. I’m not afraid of that happening again,” I muttered, clenching the rock tightly as I looked up to him. Anger was simmering just beneath my skin, mixing unpleasantly with deep grief that I did my best to keep safely stored away at the back of my mind at all times.

“If you don’t have lingering trauma, and you aren’t permanently injured, how did Loki destroy your life?” Bruce prodded, digging deeper and deeper. “Without getting to the root of this issue, it’s never going to get better.”

“He took it from me.”

“I don’t understa-”

“He took it from me!,” I snapped and stood up, my anger boiling over as my free hand reached into my grey sweater and pulled out the golden necklace always around my neck. I stepped closer so that Bruce could see the small circular pendant. Etched into the gold were the shaky whorls of a thumbprint. My other hand gripped the stone so tightly that the edges drew blood from my palm, but I didn’t care. All I could feel were the tears pricking my eyes and the swarm of bees searching for release from beneath my skin.

“He took them from me. My mom. My dad. Michael, my twin brother. I see his face every day in the mirror and feel him around my neck, and I see their mangled bodies that I was forced to identify every time I look at his smug, arrogant asshole face! And he just gets to walk free around this place like he didn’t kill hundreds of people that day, and wreck the lives of those left behind! He feels nothing for what he did,” I shouted, my rapid-fire words tearing from my throat in an impressive shriek.

I turned away from Bruce to avoid the pity I knew I would see. It would be the same look that I got whenever I told anybody the story, which is exactly why I didn’t mention it. Ever. I stared up at the ceiling and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill down my face. Without waiting for his response I stormed from the room, leaving a stunned Dr. Banner in my wake.

Outside his office I jogged up the stairs, my eyes downcast as I focused on just getting away from that room. From the words I hadn’t spoken out loud in years to anyone. Speaking it made it real again, and that ache ripping my heart to shreds was one I wanted to avoid if at all possible. So preoccupied with my retreat and holding myself together, I didn’t notice the wall of pure muscle coming down the stairs until I ran straight into it.

“Milady! How are yo-what is wrong?” Thor went from surprised and happy to worry in an instant as I stumbled against him. His hands gripped my upper arms to steady me as he stooped down to take in my red blotchy face, the tears that had slipped down my cheeks, and the blood slowly dripping from my hand. “What happened?”

I lifted my bloodshot eyes to his, searching for pity and coming up empty. Only careful regard and fierce protectiveness furrowed his brow. Rubbing the back of my injured hand against my cheeks, I shook my head harshly. “Ask your brother,” I croaked, pulling away from him and rushing up the stairs.

“Loki!” The booming voice of Thor shook the art upon the walls like the thunder he commanded as he stormed away in the opposite direction. Good. Maybe he could knock that shit-eating grin off his face. If anyone could handle Loki, it was his brother.

I paid no attention to the assembled Avengers in the kitchen, even after Steve and Vision called after me. I needed to get to a safe place, one without rocks or plants or anything else my powers could use as a projectile. I barged inside my room without uttering a word. After my incident on the roof with the windows, I’d come back to find all of the decorative plants removed from my room. At first, I’d been insulted, but critical thinking made me realize it was for the best. The only weapon in my bedroom was the rock clutched in my hand and my body wasn’t going to fight itself for it.

I hadn’t even taken three steps into the room before I heard banging on my door.

“Pebbles, let’s talk, kid. Why is Thor trying to rearrange Loki’s face?” Tony’s frustrated voice projected into my room through F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s speakers installed in the ceiling. Our rooms weren’t fully soundproof, but regular shouting was barely audible through the thick walls and heavy door. The blood rushing through my ears didn’t help matters, either.

I stared up at the nearest speaker in silence, focusing on tamping down the roaring in my ears and itching beneath my skin. I wasn’t going to open that door until I had myself under control, and a chat with Tony wasn’t going to suddenly undo all of the hurt that I fought daily to keep bottled away inside.

“Pebbles?,” I called out, picking up on the new nickname and ignoring his question purposefully.

“Pebbles. You can throw tiny rocks around. It’s cute.” I picked up on the smirk in his voice followed a couple of heavy bangs on the door. “Now open the door and let’s hash this out, Pebbles.”

“I’m good.” I threw myself dramatically down onto my bed. I was not in the mood to deal with Tony right now. I just needed to sit and stew and maybe break a few things. Then it’d all be fine and I could go on my merry way of stunted emotions and repressed thoughts.

“No can do. Gotta be a grown-up and talk it out,” his firm, no-nonsense voice grated on my agitated nerves.

Talk it out? No thanks.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Leave. Me. Alone,” I replied, directing my words and a pillow at the continuous banging on the door. As soon as the pillow thumped uselessly against it, the echoing knocks stopped.

“But I do, Jen,” came Wanda’s soft voice through the speaker. Bruce must have gotten her.

“Ugh.” I stood up, wiping away the last of my tears from my face as I went to the door. Taking a deep breath and blowing it out through my mouth, I opened the door. Thankfully, only Wanda and Tony stood on the other side. The rest of the gang must have gone to watch the spectacle I’m sure Thor and Loki were making. The disappointment on Tony’s face cut me to my core, so I averted my gaze to Wanda. She offered me a sympathetic smile, cocking her head toward the room behind me. I stepped aside and let her through with a flourish of my hand.

I groaned in defeat and looked up at a frowning Tony. “Tell Thor to back off. I’m sure he’s done enough damage as it is,” I muttered, dropping my chin to my chest and closing the door on him.

I turned around to find Wanda sitting on the couch, her elbows on her knees and her hands clasped in front of her. It was still surreal to have The Scarlet Witch just hanging out in my bedroom, even after daily training sessions for over a week.

“You know that I had a brother. Pietro,” she spoke softly, her eyes trained on me as I crossed over to sit beside her. “I also lost him because of another’s hatred. And it is a knife in my chest that never goes away. Sometimes I forget that it’s there, but then it comes back sharper and more painful than ever. But I can’t let that control me.”

I walked over and plopped down beside her with a thoughtful frown. I could feel my slick blood on the stone’s surface as I worried it, but the stinging in my hand was inconsequential to the turmoil inside. It could be taken care of later. “That’s easier said than done,” I muttered.

Wanda raised a hand covered in red light, twisting it. My bathroom door opened, and then I heard my medicine cabinet open and close. The first aid kit found in each bathroom of the Compound, because Tony knows his guests and their occupational hazards, levitated out and into her waiting hand. She gently took the rock from me and set it on the coffee table in front of us so she could tend to my injury with gentle touches as she spoke.

“It is. And I also thought that getting revenge for his loss would make me feel better. I ripped out the heart of Ultron. I watched him die, and the pain didn’t lessen. I still woke up reaching for him each morning and looking for him first when I needed to talk. It doesn’t fix the pain, Jen,” she murmured, dabbing at the small but plentiful cuts on my hand with a cleansing wipe.

“I have to see him every day. He gets to be free around this base without any issue,” I spat, clenching my teeth against the sting of the antibacterial solution.

“Being trapped isn’t without its downsides. Besides, I know for a fact that Thor is giving him a sound lesson as we speak. He has tried to atone for his mistakes,” she pushed, unwrapping a set of bandages and slowly rewrapping them around my hand.

She was at least right about one thing. From the crashes of thunder and darkening sky, the anger a certain God of Thunder currently held for Loki was made clear.

“It’s not enough,” I replied, my extreme emotions slowly fading to leave me feeling drained more than anything else. My usual state after the Battle, to be honest.

“Would you see him dead? If given the opportunity, would you take this rock and drive it through his heart? Honestly?” She finished up the dressing with a piece of medical tape to hold everything in place. Undeterred by my drying blood on the rock, she picked it up and held it out to me.

“I… don’t know,” I whispered, taking the heavy stone from her slowly and staring at it to avoid her knowing gaze.

“I don’t think you’re a murderer, Jen. And I’ve met several of them,” Wanda offered and stood up with a heavy sigh. “I’m not telling you that you’re not allowed to feel this. But you won’t like the person that you turn into if it’s all that you feel.” She squeezed my shoulder before leaving me alone with my conflicted thoughts.

I gathered the bloodied medical supplies and took them to the trash before walking to stand before the floor-to-ceiling windows of my room. Thor must have found Loki outside, as there were scorch marks on the ground and twisted remnants of metal benches scattered around the open green lawn.

I wasn’t a murderer. That I knew deep down inside. If Loki was powerless before me right now and I had a gun to his temple, I wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger. I couldn’t have that blood on my conscience. Did I want him to know my pain? Yeah, for sure. He showed no remorse for his actions. He sauntered around like he owned the place, as if the feelings of others were inconsequential and insignificant.

But he didn’t deserve to die. If anything, he deserved to grapple with the guilt of the lives he ruined for the rest of his immortal life. And maybe an occasional beating from his incredibly strong brother. But if he was going to learn from his mistakes, he at least needed to know what he did wrong first.

“Shit, I have to talk to Loki,” I groaned, dropping my forehead against the cool glass in front of me.

~~~

I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. Wanda must have told everyone to give me some space as no one came to bother me. During that time, I practiced. I sat on my bed, staring at my blood-stained rock and forcing it to move around the room, to do what I wanted it to and not lose control. Hours passed with my fighting the weariness of my mind and body until the natural light outside my room disappeared and was replaced with cool blue moonlight.

If there was any time to find Loki, it was now. His displeasure for the company of the Avengers wasn’t exactly a secret, leaving him to do the majority of his skulking around after hours. After his fight earlier with Thor, I knew he’d want to confront me. He wasn’t one to just take something lying down. All I needed to do was leave the sanctuary of my room.

After I stowed my rock inside my pocket, I threw on a pair of black tennis shoes and put my disheveled dark hair into a ponytail. The hum of electricity and fan of the heating system were the only sounds in the Compound other than my steps ringing firmly on the stairs as I jogged up to the roof. It was one of my favorite places and I was banking on that being common knowledge. I settled onto a large boulder in the middle of the garden, my back to the roof access door, and waited. He’d come.

“I should drive this knife through your throat right now,” Loki’s low silken voice was in my ear the second I felt two lean arms constrict around me, one around my shoulders to yank me against his rigid chest, and the other holding said knife to the soft skin of my neck. 

That didn’t take long.

“Why don’t you?” I ground out, stretching my head back against his shoulder to keep the blade from nicking my skin. I was engulfed by his presence. From the feeling of his taut body against my back to the heady scent of leather and spice, to his breath blowing across my ear, I was surrounded.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he hissed, the dagger around my neck disappearing as if it had never existed. His hands went to my shoulders and roughly spun me around before one went to my throat. He squeezed, not enough to cut off my air, but enough to let me know that he was the one in control of the situation. I swallowed and felt his hand shift over the nervous movement of my neck.

In the softly lit garden, I could just make out the damage Thor had done to him. The rolled-up sleeves of his dark button-down did little to hide the bruising blows that must have gotten through his armor, and his strikingly handsome face looked dreadful. Cuts marred his sharp cheekbones, and a large black eye only served to highlight the malice in his piercing emerald eyes.

Handsome? Nope, I didn’t just think that about the man threatening to strangle me.

Still, I couldn’t appear too weak. Calling upon the energy pulsing beneath my skin, I beckoned the sharpened, blood-stained rock from my pocket and put it to his own throat. My hours of practice that I had put myself through earlier showed in the slight tremor it gave in the air, but I dug deep to maintain it’s threatening position against his pulse. I would never do more, press it any harder, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Why did you send my brother to fight me?” he asked, glancing at my makeshift weapon with no concern before shifting his manic eyes back to mine.

Best get to the point before he strangled it out of me. 

“You killed my family,” I choked out around his grip, wrapping both of my hands around his wrist. For all my tugging at his arm, I was rewarded with his grip on my airway tightening ever-so-slightly but not budging besides that. It was enough of a message to still my hands but they remained on his oddly cold skin.

His steely gaze met mine, filled with fury. With a smirk, he grabbed the rock I held to his throat and it disappeared from his grip just like his dagger had. Well, shit. “And now what? You want to fight me? Or, rather, send Thor to fight your battles since you are too weak and irrational to take me on? You wouldn’t stand a chance,” he smirked, stepping closer until he had to look down his nose to see into my eyes.

“Try me, God of Mischief,” I replied through gritted teeth, my eyes flicking over to a tree behind him. With great effort, I directed the buzzing of power inside of me to find the weakest point in the tree. Locating it, my bandaged hand let go of Loki, clenched into a fist, and broke off a bare, dead branch. It flew over at the beckoning of my curled fingers, poised against his throat.

His sadistic smile grew at the thin limb pressing into his jugular. Without moving a muscle, Loki wrenched it from my control and soared across the Compound away from us. I was fighting a losing battle, but it didn’t stop me from trying.

“Learned a new trick, mortal? How quaint. But you won’t win against me,” he whispered, pulling my body flush against his by the hand at my throat, his breath cool against my ear. After one last demonstrative squeeze, he released me, pushing me away from him.

I fell to my knees as soon as I was free, taking deep gulps of sweet, sweet air. His icy touch sent goosebumps down my spine and lingered on my skin for far too long after it was gone. A weariness from manipulating my abilities for so long also tugged on my limbs, urging me to rest and recuperate from the strain. I remained kneeling, gathering my strength, as I scowled at him. “You ruined everything. You deserved it.”

“Get in line, darling. It’s hardly unusual behavior for me,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest with a shrug.

“You should pay for what you did!” I hissed, standing up and advancing on him.

He stood his ground, looking down at me with all the fear a panther holds for a mouse. “You know nothing of my recompenses. I know full well what I did on that day,” he seethed, the terrifying anger that radiated off of him made all the more imposing by his tall frame as he towered over me.

I flinched; I couldn’t help it. I was provoking a god, and the tension in his body and rage in his eyes spoke of power much stronger than my own. He had held his own against Thor earlier, only receiving a few bruises and scrapes for his troubles. What did I expect to be able to do if he decided to fully unleash the barely-contained ire that poured off of him? I bluffed that he wouldn’t be able to hurt me, but how far did the protection of his brother and Tony really reach? Besides the threat of another beating and possible imprisonment, there wasn’t anything stopping him from ending my life here and now and then disposing of me just like the throwing knives he so easily manipulated into and out of existence.

“I am not the same god that ravaged that city.” His harsh breath blew across my face as he advanced towards me, forcing me to back up until my body hit the cold glass windows behind me. I desperately clung to any iota of control I had over my powers as they bubbled beneath the surface seeking an outlet for the heightened response his closeness instilled in me. Craning my neck to meet the piercing eyes of the fair-skinned man crowding me, I saw no difference to the same villain that invaded New York City years ago, and I voiced that opinion.

“My actions on that day were not done with my full consent,” he admitted, some of the fury that furrowed his brow escaping with his strangled sigh. I could’ve sworn that he looked haunted for a moment, but I must have been mistaken because the cold gleam shining once again in his eyes was so intense that it appeared etched into his features. “No matter, as I have suffered the consequences either way.”

“Then add this to your list of consequences,” I whispered, reaching between us to pull my necklace from beneath my clothing. I shoved it into his face. “His name was Michael Thompson. My twin was murdered sitting in a cab with my parents from your Chitauri army. And every time I look at your stupid face, at my face, I’m reminded of it. I can never escape it, and you shouldn’t be able to either,” I said, my voice shaking with too many emotions that I wouldn’t name and fought desperately to stifle. I was not going to lose control, not after digging up the courage to face him.

Loki’s eyes quickly glanced down at the necklace before coming back to me, searching them quizzically. His jaw clenched as he took in my expression, and a look I could only describe as pain cracked the harsh veneer he usually maintained.

“I do know what it’s like to lose those I hold dear. This I promise you,” he breathed, his words drifting across my face in a mint-scented cloud before he turned and quickly left the rooftop. Leaving me standing there alone, shaking from an overload of emotions and struggling to catch my breath.

Free from his intensity, I leaned forward and put my hands on my knees, trying to quiet my ragged breath so I could listen to see if he returned to finish what he had barely begun. I had done what I had set out to accomplish. I made him face the harsh realities of his selfish actions years ago, literally shoved the evidence in his face, and forced him to listen to me. For all the good that it did. He had lived for centuries. What was the plight of a woman who was but a blip on the timeline of his life going to change anything?

The first bit of the conversation that I truly didn’t understand was the conclusion. ’I do know what it’s like to lose those I hold dear.’ Who had this heartless man lost? To have lost means that he must have loved someone, and who would he deem worthy of his affections? He made it abundantly clear that everyone was beneath him, dull creatures compared to the superiority of his godliness.

Had Loki had a heart at one point in his life? Was he born with the black shriveled-up stone that he most definitely possessed now? He must have been a little boy at some point in his life. Although, to be honest, I wasn’t actually sure if Asgardians just came into existence fully grown and, in his case, ready to piss off the world or, in his brother’s case, ready to save it. Could there really be a reason for the loathing that he harbored for the world?

Nope. Not going to try to humanize the murdering bastard.

The second thought that nagged at my overworked mind was that he claimed to have not been fully in control of himself during the invasion. Was that a lie? Recalling the haunted expression that had flashed in his dark eyes for the briefest of moments, it was doubtful. That had been the face of someone who had known true pain. Was the God of Lies that good of an actor? This new tidbit of information hadn’t been brought to my attention before, but I also hadn’t lifted my nose from the grindstone to really pay attention to much since I lost my family.

If it was true, then what in the hell had been strong enough to make him do something he didn’t want to do? Loki was a thousand-year-old god with incredible amounts of will, strength, and power. He didn’t just bend his knee and listen to anyone who could manage to get a word in edgewise. No, his cooperation would have had to been taken from him, as there seemed to be no one who he would freely give it to. I was under no illusion that he was playing along with his captivity now, perhaps having nothing else better to do than to hang around until a more enjoyable opportunity came along. 

Did Loki actually fear something and have a weakness like us pathetic mortals?

Obviously I needed to get some sleep if I was starting to go down that road. I was delusional with exhaustion.

Yep. That’s it.

[taestfully]

Firsts

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Genre: fluff, smut

Words: 2,455

Warnings: light sexual situations, mentions of sex

Summary: Sex – the three letter word that practicality runs the world – is a topic yet to be discussed with you and your boyfriend, Taehyung.

Request: @lydiana1d said: Hey, could you make one where Tae is all sweet and he asks me if I want to have my first time and all that? Please 😁

A/N: Here’s your Tae imagine! I kind of got carried away with this lol hope that’s okay oops.

Sex.

Sex, sex, and sex.

It was just a simple three letter word. That was it. There was nothing special about the word, really. But why was everyone so obsessed with it?

It was literally everywhere you looked — commercials, magazines, music, and it was even woven into kid shows of all things — and you had to wonder what had driven this world into such a sexually charged frenzy.

Maybe if you had actually had sex you could’ve understood. But alas, there were no erotic and exhilarating romantic escapades in your life. You didn’t get fucked into the mattress every night until you saw stars. You never had the “Big O” that everyone was so crazed for. You were a complete and utter virgin.

It wasn’t like you couldn’t get sex, though. You had a sweet and loving boyfriend, Taehyung. He was everything you had wanted in a guy and more. There were moments you wondered if it all was just a dream, that you were in some other reality that would soon come crashing down. But Taehyung was real, and perfect, and yours. You were coming up on eight months with him and while that excited you, it also unnerved you. There was just one issue.

You and Taehyung had yet to have sex.

Yes, the two of you had never done the dirty deed, had never danced the devil’s tango, had never screwed, fucked, made love, or anything of the sort. That fact really shouldn’t have bothered you, but it did and you were getting more worried as time went on. You blamed your worry on the fact that you were the only virgin in your group of friends and that your friends loved to tease you about it.

You were with your friends one evening, sitting on the floor of your apartment. You all had one too many drinks that night and when there was an excessive amount of booze, things tended to get out of hand. Which also meant the topic of sex was bound to be brought up.

“Ugh, guys, you wouldn’t believe the time I had with my boyfriend the other night,” your friend, Nari, leant against the couch with her arms stretched lazily at either side of her, a gleaming smile on her lips. She usually ended up being the first to mention sex, always informing all of you about the newest news in her and her boyfriend’s sex life.

“Oh, please spill!” Jiyoo encouraged enthusiastically. Jiyoo was always too interested in Nari’s sex life, which threw you off a bit. She didn’t have a boyfriend, but she was probably the most experienced in all things sexual out of all you. It seemed as if Jiyoo lived for anything related to sex.

“Here we go,” sighed Seoyun as she took another swig of alcohol. The two of you shared a look.

“Okay, you won’t believe it, but I came eight times the other night,” Nari shared proudly, biting her lip like she was replaying the whole evening in her head. Jiyoo cooed, Seoyun scoffed, and you looked at Nari quizzically. “It was the most I’ve ever came in one night.”

“Isn’t that a bit excessive, Nari?” Seoyun questioned, a smirk on her lips. “Seems like a lie to me.” Seoyun was always somewhat of a doubter of Nari’s sex tales. She had revealed a few of her sex stories, but after her horrible break up with her boyfriend of three years, she stopped talking about anything to do with romance. She had tried a few one night stands, but those were more Jiyoo’s thing.

“Oh, it’s totally possible.” Jiyoo giggled, brushing off hair that had fallen over her shoulder. “I’ve came several times in one night before. You just got to be with someone who knows what they’re doing, is all. But damn, Nari, eight times? Your boyfriend is an animal.”

Nari chuckled. “He is and sometimes I wonder where he gets his drive from. Like, I’ve never met someone with such passion before, you know?” She sighed happily before looking your way. “Speaking of boyfriends, how are things with Taehyung, (y/n)?”

“Oh, they’re great, actually.” You smiled at the mention of Taehyung. “We’re going on eight months together now.”

“Aw, how precious!” cooed Jiyoo, her lips puckered out. “You guys are so cute.”

“I can’t believe it’s been eight months. I remember back when (y/n) was too nervous to talk to him during our world history class.” Nari giggled as she retold the memory of when you had the fattest crush on Taehyung, the cute boy in your world history class that sat right in front of you.

“It took her getting drunk of her ass to finally tell him how she felt.” Seoyun laughed when you shot her a look. “Good thing he was sober or he may not have remembered anything.”

“You guys know I need a little liquid courage to get me out of my shell,” you reminded them. You remember that evening vividly despite being drunk during most of it. You and Taehyung were picked to go into the closet to play seven minutes in heaven while at a frat party. The two of you were extremely awkward and you downed two tequila shots before going into the closet to dissolve your nerves. You were never a heavyweight, so two tequila shots later and you were spilling your guts to Taehyung while stuck in a dark closet. Nothing physical happened between you, but the two of you walked out holding hands afterwards. Taehyung asked you out on a proper date when he saw you the next day in class.

“Maybe if you’d had a little more of that liquid courage things could’ve gone a little bit further in that closet.” Jiyoo winked at you, a smirk on her pretty lips. Nari and Seoyun giggled.

You rolled your eyes. “I’m pretty sure nothing would’ve happened. He was completely sober. Tae wouldn’t have done anything with me while I was drunk. He’s not a dick.”

“But he has one, and you need to get to it,” Nari demanded. “Eight months, darling. You need to pick up the pace.”

Jiyoo nodded. “I bet you’re just dying for sex, right? I remember when I lost my virginity. Definitely don’t miss my virgin days. Now I can’t imagine not having sex.”

“Dramatic, much?” Seoyun rolled her eyes at Jiyoo’s antics. “Sex is great and all, but make sure you’re ready for it,” she said, the constant voice of reason amongst the group.

“I am,” you said, half sure. “I think…”

“Well get to it!” Nari urged, clapping her hands together.

“It’s not like I haven’t wanted to try, but…I just don’t know how to bring it up. I mean, the furthest Tae and I have gone is making out and anytime things start to get heated, things get…awkward.”

“Aw, first times are always awkward,” Jiyoo replied. “You’ll get through the awkwardness, though.”

“Okay, (y/n), you’ve got this. Just get in there and do it!” Nari patted your shoulder. “Or do him, rather.”

You sighed.

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You were a bucket of nerves the next time you saw your boyfriend.

It was the usual Friday night — a night out for dinner with Taehyung. It wasn’t anything that should’ve made you nervous, but all you could think of was what could possibly happen afterwards when the two of you returned back to your apartment.

You wanted him bad and you were trying to build up every ounce of courage to tell him so. Tonight, you yearned to take that next step with him. You desired for nothing more than to feel his skin on yours and the thought of having him was making your body feel hot.

You heard a knock at your door, the sound of it opening following a few seconds later. “(Y/n?)” Taehyung’s voice rang out through the apartment. Your heart skipped as you ran your fingers through your hair before walking out of your bedroom to meet him. His face lit up when he saw you.

“Hey,” you greeted, trying to hide your nerves with a sweet smile. You didn’t know what it was, but Taehyung looked incredible and the smile he was giving you had breath catching in your throat.

“You look amazing.” Taehyung rested a hand on your side as he leant forward to press a kiss to your lips. It was just a simple kiss, something the two of you had shared multiple times before, yet you felt the desire burn in the pit of your belly. You needed him right then and you began to wonder if you should’ve just shoved him onto your couch instead of going out.

It took you a monent to respond. You saw the way Taehyung quirked an eyebrow at you. “Thanks,” you smiled. “Ready to go?”

Taehyung nodded and took your hand to lead you out the door.

The ride in his car was what could’ve only been described as awkward, at least to you. You sat in the passenger seat, legs closed tight and fingers interlocked on your lap. Your thoughts were running wild and Taehyung was at the center of them all. God, you were losing your mind.

“You’re so quiet tonight,” Taehyung said, breaking the silence. He took a hand from the steering wheel to rest it on your knee...a completely innocent gesture....yet you felt like you had just been set aflame. Did he know the effect he had on you? “Something wrong?”

“Uh, nope, nothing’s wrong,” you lied, smiling to make it more convincing. You made the mistake of looking at him, his eyes on the road ahead. The view of his profile, set in a focused expression, with one hand on the wheel while the other rested on your knee was a sight that had you inwardly screaming.

You wondered if he wanted you like you wanted him.

If he didn’t believe your lie he didn’t say it. Instead, he kept his hand on your knee as he drove the rest of the way to the restaurant. Taehyung had told you he was taking you to a special place tonight, but the sight of the restaurant still had you speechless. It was the place he took you on your first date. You looked up at him with a smile.

“Felt like going down memory lane tonight,” he told you.

You giggled. “How sweet of you.” You wanted to ask him why. You wanted to know what this meant. Your mind was trying to convince you it was because he had something up his sleeve and you were hoping with every fiber of your being that it had something to do with taking you home to finally make love to you for the first time.

Taehyung took you in, the two of you going straight to a table due to him setting prior reservations. “Feels like it’s been forever since we’ve been here.”

“Almost eight months,” you replied.

Taehyung grinned softly, his hand finding its way back to your knee. “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

You stared into his dark eyes and you wanted to get lost in them, in him. You wanted to close the gap between you and kiss him, tell him with your body all the things you’ve been dying to say. But you were in public and you had to restrain yourself.

However, restraining yourself became hard to as the night went on due to Taehyung’s wandering hand.

His hand started out at your knee, innocent and still before inching its way down to the hem of your skirt. His fingers played along the skin there and with each passing moment you didn’t know how much more you could’ve taken. You were on the verge of going inane, yet Taehyung seemed nonchalant.

His fingers delved under your skirt and were on course for your panty line until the waiter came to the table. His fingers retracted immediately and it was all you could do to suppress a whine. A soft pink hue painted his cheeks as he dismissed the waiter.

You grabbed his wrist, making him look at you. “I think we should go.”

For the first time that evening there was desire pooling in his eyes. Taehyung smirked. “I think so too.”

It was like a sense of urgency came over the two of you during the car ride back to your apartment. Taehyung zoomed down the streets, one hand on the wheel and one on you. You couldn’t help but feel exhilarated at what was to come once you arrived home. You were finally going to have sex with your boyfriend. You were finally going to get to experience the thing the entire world was obsessed with. It took you mere seconds to exit the car and reconnect with him. Your lips met in a messy clash, his hands attaching firmly to your hips.

You guided him up the flight of steps to your door, somehow walking backwards up them, not wanting to lose contact with Taehyung. When you arrived to your doorway, Taehyung pushed you against it, lips traveling down your jawline and down your neck. You moaned and arched your back to press your body closer to his. “Tae,” you whispered breathily.

Taehyung made his way back to your lips. “I want you, (y/n).” His voice was husky from lust and it had heat pooling between your legs.

“I want you too,” was all you said back to him as you turned the knob on your door. The door opened wide due to the weight of your bodies against, sending the two of you unceremoniously to the floor. The ground was harsh against your back and felt the air leave you when Taehyung fell on you. You coughed.

Taehyung chuckled as he sat up, looking down at you. “Are you okay? That was quite a fall.”

You nodded, coughing again. “Yeah, I am.”

“Good.”

You sighed as your rubbed your face. “Why does this always happen?” you asked yourself more than you asked him.

“What?”

“This,” you breathed. “Every time we try to go forward, something awkward happens.”

Taehyung chuckled at your pout, leaning down to kiss you. “First times are always awkward. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it. I want this. I want you. I’m so ready.”

You smiled, happy. “I’m glad because I want you too.” The two of you smiled at each other for a moment before Taehyung began to lift off from the ground, a hand outstretched to you.

“Now let’s get off the floor, shall we?” You allowed him to pull you up and take you to your room where the two of you spend a wonderful evening together.

Masterlist

[meraki-mark]

YES THOUGHTS ON PARASITE ELABORATE PLEASE only if you want to - from a very enthusiastic parasite advocate haha

i’m no film student, but i’ll elaborate a bit. 

i think the differences between the societal classes is very prominent, but not in an obnoxious way. not like, “hey look how dirt poor these people are hahaha and then look at these rich tech man lives with his family boohoo for the poor people” but in a realistic way where you know there are so many different things between the standard of living for each family. 

i think that it was nice how fast they “infiltrated” the house like a true “parasite” and i think that was very well done. every scene where they were planning how to get each family member into the house was so well choreographed per se. it kept you intrigued and thinking on “how the hell are they going to get that to work” the peach fuzz scenes were the best if i’m being honest. loved the morse code too. loved that too much probably. it was so interesting

there wasn’t much background music through the majority of the movie and i actually appreciated it that. it made you focus on the story. and although music does make the mood, i feel the atmosphere created by the dialogue and actions made sufficient tension and build up. 

spoilers if you’ve never seen it sorry. 

so when the housemaid came back to feed her husband in the basement i was so sure that she was going to kill off the mom, choong-sook, right then and there before i realized that the man was down there. i thought the lady had gone insane and it would be over for the mom. 

i was especially impressed with the son, ki-woo, and how quickly he thought of his sister ki-jung, when he saw the opportunity for her to teach da-song. i was a bit surprised with the whole relationship between him and da-hye if i’m being honest. it was cute at times, but a bit strange nonetheless. 

the tent scene made me gasp...

when they showed how the lights were turned all i gasped... he was down there the entire time... just... gives me chills if i think about it too much. and honestly when they showed what happened to da-song in the first grade and he saw the man there i would’ve had a seizure too. that was creepy as hell. i’m never buying a house with a basement now. 

ki-jung was the best out of the entire family and anyone can fight me on that. she was so put together and such a good actress. 

when guen-sae came out of the basement after ki-woo was being an idiot (sorry not sorry) my heart was going a mile a minute. park myung-hoon played that role so well. he was totally gone after his wife died and you could tell he didn’t care as long as he got revenge. 

i knew someone was going to die in the family and i thought it was going to end with ki-woo being bludgeoned to death even though i saw his finger twitching when guen-sae walked away. 

when ki-jung got stabbed in the heart it really hurt. ugh i loved her character. 

choong-sook was so badass fighting off guen-sae, just throwing that out there. 

then!! the twist when the dad, ki-taek saw nathan park grimace when he smelled guen-sae getting the keys and just! just getting him in the heart. that was a surprise, but it all made sense. after all he did hear nathan say that he didn’t like ki-taek’s smell when they were driving and then when he told ki-taek that he was just there to do a job. he just lost his home and now he’s being bossed around and feeling belittled by nathan. it made sense, but it was still surprising. 

i enjoyed that they didn’t put a lot of emphasis on blood and stuff, because in some movies when there is bludgeoning or killing there’s lots of emphasis on splattering blood and spilling guts. like when there was blood it was very obvious like under ki-woo’s head, but when guen-sae threw the rock back at his the second time it wasn’t like a bunch of blood just gushed out. or it wasn’t some sort of squirting blood bath when ki-jung was stabbed. she’s bleeding out, but not in a tarantino kind of way.

then when ki-woo got out of surgery and went to the mountain to see the morse code. i thought, “is that lady still alive down there?” but it was his dad!! and he promised his dad that he would work and make enough money to buy the house and let his dad be able to walk right out of the basement doors with no fear made me so happy. the full circle of the beginning opening scene with the window in the semi-basement during a bright sunny day to a cold winter’s night when ki-woo is reading over the letter his dad had sent and after he promised he would see him again made me ugh it made me so ecstatic. love full circle moments. overall very well done movie with interesting plot points and talked about major issues with societal classes. that was probably way too much oops. hope this is what i was looking for!

[sunshineystilinski]

Ignored

Pairing: Derek Hale x Reader

Warnings: cursing maybe?

Prompt: you kinda love your best friend and decide it’s best to ignore him. what could go wrong?

Word Count: 1,836

this took too long to write. oops? and yes, i am aware this title sucks. i couldn’t think of anything and i wanted to post this.

masterlist

You hadn't spoken to your best friend in months. Ever since you realized you were in love with him, you couldn't bring yourself to see him. You had known him since you were kids- his family was your family.

You remember all the times you spend with him. From racing each other home after school, to skipping class to walk through the woods and just talk.

Your parents were best friends, both being families of werewolves. So, when the two of you were born, you were automatically spending every moment with each other. At the beginning, you despised each other, but as you grew up, a perfect friendship had bloomed. You did everything together. Through high school, it seemed as nothing could go wrong.

Then everything did.

It all started when your mother and father were brutally killed by a rival pack. You were devastated, but the Hale’s welcomed you to their home with open arms.

Then, Derek lost Paige. He was heartbroken, and nothing seemed to make him completely happy. His once gold eyes, now shone a bright blue.

And, if to top it all off, your home, your safe place, was burned to the ground. The only survivors were Derek, Peter, Laura, Cora, and yourself.

Derek and Laura left Beacon Hills, while you stayed back. For quite awhile, you had felt that you lost everything. You went through your days without a purpose.

But eventually, Derek came back looking for his sister, and the new rumored alpha. You had no clue he was home until he came to your doorstep, unannounced. You were mad at him for awhile, but eventually you couldn't resist the sourwolf. You met Scott, the new beta, and Stiles, the scrawny, little, sarcastic, side-kick.

Derek ended up killing the Alpha (who turned out to be Derek's uncle, Peter), and he became one himself.

Everything was at peace for awhile, until Jackson Whittemore became a kanima and all hell broke loose. But you survived, Derek by your side.

Being Derek's best friend, you became close with Scott, Stiles, Lydia, Allison, Boyd, Erica, and Isaac. They were like your younger siblings. You loved them deeply.

So when they found Erica’s dead body in a bank, you were devastated. But they did find Cora, which led to the shedding of many tears between you, Cora, and Derek.

Your life was a mess, but somehow, the chaos seemed to put it back together. And if it was even possible, you and Derek grew closer.

But now, you hadn't talked to him since the summer started and it was miserable. Yes, you had good reasoning (sort of), but god, life without him wasn't the same.

So, here you were, sitting on your bed, contemplating every choice you ever made. You rubbed the bridge of your nose, the stress of life eating at you. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You pulled it out, noticing it was from Stiles.

From: Stiles Stilinski, 1:21pm

SCHOOL. NOW!

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at the urgency of his message. You pulled the covers off your legs, and noticed you were wearing shorts and a t-shirt in forty degree weather. You threw on a sweatshirt over your shirt, and put on some tennis shoes. You jogged over to your car, immediately starting it and driving off to the high school.

You made it to the school quickly, spotting the boys outside. You pulled your car around, and they quickly hopped in.

“What the hell is so urgent? You know what- I don't want to know. Actually, yes I do want to know what's so important that made me come here and pick you two idiots up before school is even over!” You shouted, anger exploding from your mouth.

“No time to explain. Derek's loft! And step on it!" Scott shouted, motioning for you to go.

“Ohhh no, we’ll make time. We aren't leaving until you explain.” You shook your head, eyeing the two boys in the back seats of your car.

“Y/N, I swear to god if you don't get over your little crush on Derek, I might kill you. Drive the damn car!” Stiles shouted, causing you to drive off to his loft.

“I do not have a crush on Derek Hale, You don't know what you are talki-”

“Y/N, give it up, literally everyone knows.” Stiles interjected, Scott nodding behind him. You didn't respond, knowing they were right. You felt the teenage boys smiling from their victory.

The rest of the ride was silent, but luckily his loft wasn't too far away. You parked your car and you watched the boys run out and into the building. You trailed behind, still confused as hell.

As soon as you made it up to his loft, you opened the door and saw the group. It was Derek, Scott, Peter, and Stiles. They didn't notice you at first, but when you cleared your throat, they swiveled their heads in your direction. You avoided Derek's confused glare and focused on Scott.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Peter questioned, confused at your arrival.

“I'm the ride for those two maniacs. Now, is someone going to explain this to me or…” You trailed off, shutting the door behind you. You made your way over to Derek’s couch, crossing your legs, ready to listen.

“It's about the alpha pack. The alphas that attacked Isaac, Ethan and Aiden, are at our school. And I don't mean they're visiting. Apparently they're students.” Scott explained, making you even more irritated.

“And you needed to leave school early for that? Couldn't you just wait to tell them until later?” You asked, playing with the hem of your sweatshirt.

“We think they have a plan, and we have no clue what it is. That's why we were so urgent to get here, we need a plan to figure out their plan.” Stiles answered.

You decided to stay out of their talk, because eventually they would have to tell everyone else and you were too tired to listen. You grabbed a book off one of Derek’s shelves and started to read. Once in awhile, you felt Derek switch his gaze over to you. You never made eye contact. You were too afraid of talking to him and having that stupid conversation about not talking for weeks.

 After awhile, the room became silent and you realized they finished their talk. You shut the book and looked up.

“So what's the plan? I mean our plan. Not the alphas plan.” You rambled, putting the book away.

“We’re going to head home and just have everyone meet tomorrow. It's somehow five already and I need to go home and talk to my mom.” Scott explained, heading to the exit with Stiles.

“Wait, guys, I’m your ride! Give me a second.” You rushed over to leave with them, but Stiles stopped you.

“Talk to him. He's miserable. Everyone can tell. I didn't think that man could get even grumpier but clearly he can.” Stiles whispered, Scott agreeing with him.

“But-”

“Go.” Scott interrupted, pushing you to the alpha.

You ended up right in front him, a shocked expression on your face. You heard the boys exit and Peter walk up the steps.

“Hi.” You mumbled, taking a step back.

“Hi? That's all you have to say? Wow.” Derek scoffed, turning around.

“Der, I can ex-”

“Oh really? You can explain why we haven't talked in weeks? Why you've been ignoring my texts and my calls? You're supposed to be my best friend. What happened to that! Where were you when I needed you, Y/N? Huh?” He shouted, slamming his fist into the wall, making a dent.

“Derek, pleas-”

“No, you can't do that. You can't ask me to listen to you. Not when you ignored me and avoided me. You don't have that right. You can't play with my emotions like that!” He yelled, getting in your face. You felt tears threatening to spill.

“Derek just stop! Okay, I get it! You're upset. But you have no right to get all up in my face and scream at me! I know what did to you wasn't fair. But maybe I had a reason. You won't even give me a chance to say something!” You argued, tears falling from your E/C eyes. He could feel the pain you were hiding. The pain of keeping your undying love from him.

“Then say something Y/N! Explain ho-”

“I love you! Okay? I'm in love with you, Derek Hale.”

The room went silent, tears cascading down your cheeks. Your eyes were trained on the floor, but Derek's eyes were on you.

“What?” He whispered, his voice barely audible.

“You heard me.” You shot back, your voice cracking in the process. You turned to leave, wanting to escape this conversation. You almost made it to the door, but Derek grabbed your hand and pulled you into his arms.

Before you could say a word, he captured your lips in a kiss, his hands resting on the small of your back. Your hands reached up and got tangled in his hair, pulling his head down and deepening the kiss.

You pulled back slightly, gasping for breath.

“You're so oblivious.” Derek stated, resting his forehead against yours. You tilted your head in response, confused as to what he was saying.

“I've been in love with you for, God knows how long. You're constantly on my mind. I've never had the guts to tell you because I could never ruin our friendship. And I'm guessing that's why you ignored me for so long, because I almost did that too. I love you, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N.” You smiled at his statement, pecking his lips. Your hands moved down to his neck, fingertips playing with the tiny strands of hair.

“You do realize the boys heard our whole conversation, right?” You whispered nodding your head towards the door, hearing their two heart beats going a mile a minute.

“Oh and don't forget Peter.” Derek added, pointing to his staircase. He let out a small laugh, causing you to gasp.

“Derek Hale? Laughing? What has this world come to?” You joked, putting a hand on your chest.

“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes, kissing you once again. You smiled as it ended, pulling away and walking to the door. He frowned, your exit saddening him.

“You better text me, sourwolf.” You smirked, sliding the door open and leaving. You saw Scott and Stiles in the corner, bright smiles on their faces`.

“Ready boys?” You motioned your hand for them to follow you, walking away.

“You owe me ten bucks.” You heard Stiles mention to Scott, surprising you with their bet.

“Actually, you owe me ten bucks. Y/N technically made the first move when she told Derek that she loved him.” Scott corrected, causing Stiles to groan. You heard him slap the money in Scott’s hand and you smiled.

You finally confessed your feelings, and you've never felt better.

A/N: I HAVENT WRITTEN ANYTHING IN THE LONGEST TIME. THIS IS PROBABLY SHIT.

[strivingforsanity00]

A woman always knows. So I can't claim you, can't say you're mine. Can't make you change, or force you to love me - a casual sort of thing right? No fricking way because your eyes start to stray and my heart starts to fray and it all goes to hell. Oops, I spilled my guts and I threatened the girl. I am not afraid to be the, "crazy ex," and I'm not afraid to get rid of her the way I got rid of the other girls.You will always be a selfish man and I will always love you, but this is unacceptable. I will not let some loose woman ruin the good roll we were on! I will not let you! I will pee on as many toothbrushes as I need to because I will still be loving you when you are an old man. I am number one bitch up in here and I can get reeeally unstable when I get provoked. So I feel all of these ghetto feelings in my chest and I am trying to learn about love and attatchment and detachment..I have realized that true love is not wildly jealous or posessive this way. But why is it so difficult to let it go?? Rrrrrrrr this thought makes me want to stab her in the throat and be done with it. But I held all of this knowledge and nice words about healthy love in my head....held them there while I followed my nose down the trail and found the scent at the end. I could hardly help it. Next thing I knew the situation was clear to me and I filled up with rage and betrayal and bitterness and jealousy. No tears this time...no sorrow or wailing at the sky or begging for answers. But I just burst and blew my top and maybe everything came out wrong, but it came out. I made my declaration of undying love and loyalty, struck a little fear in the slut's heart, and made my stance clear all at once so that is for the best. But now...he admits he does not want the same thing as me(of course; my heart has been hiding from this fact for months now) and of course is going to hide his illicit activity better, and I have humiliated myself. Laid my soul bare on the table and now I have to stuff it back in my pocket having received no reciprocation. And the truth is that I am desperate and clinging to fragments of love and affection. I have not learned to love myself in a closed loop yet and so have very little to give, but OH do I give to him. I dig from the depths of my soil to scrape out with my nails all that I can to give to him to prove my love, to water him. But still I am here, digging and starving for him and still alone.

[survivorindia]

Disturbing Patrons with my Mental Breakdown- Kendall (Episode 8)

Okay, soooo. I'm pretty sure all of the returnees threw the challenge RIGHT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW in order to vote out the minority newbies... Aka me.... So, I'm pretty pissed off as it's evident that I'm the only one who actually TRIED at this challenge, when I clearly shouldn't have because I'm extremely sick with strep and should be sleeping all day. SOOO, that was a huge waste of my time and I'm pretty pissed about it... But it's fine, bitches. Satan will see you in hell <3 :*

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WE JUST THREW THE CHALLENGE. I have never thrown a challenge before and that was terrifying. If this backfires on me i'm gonna look like a moron but I have good faith. Hopefully bye bye Ruben, Worst case scenario bye bye Casey, Worst-Worst case scenario bye bye allies, and Worst-Worst-Worst case scenario bye bye Jordan

i definitely picked my tribe with the intention of screwing someone over. i think things have revealed themselves nicely on where loyalties still lie, and while one or two people might think they're in the driver's seat, i'm in a good position to shift the gears without them noticing. and that means their car will crash and we all die. hehe.  i'm prepared to make a move if we lose immunity, but im not letting that happen. i want to win this one just so i can be safe one more round. figure things out a little more. let tea spill. but i'm not going to let myself make the same mistakes and spill my guts to anyone willing to listen. i'll keep information to myself. i know i'm on the bottom of the returnees alliance and probably the newbies one, too. but i'm content for right now, because ultimately the returnees will start to fall. we'll be picked off one by one. dom wants to throw immunity, and sometimes its not a bad idea to do that, but this round, it needs to not happen. ruben will likely go home but i dont think he trusted me in the first place, so it's his time. sorry.

i'll take his position if he does. lexi needs a #2 and its between robin and myself. i respect robin bc they were there for me when i had no one else there for me. i feel like i've known them for years, but we just met and thats powerful. i have a powerful bond to this person. they're important to me. but this is also a game and i know my competition when i see it. if they have to go at my expense of making it another day, i'll do it.  idk if im still a villain or if im becoming a hero. i think that's up for determination. 

LOOOL WILD TRIBAL. BUH-BYE, JULIA. GLAD I DIDN'T SEE YOU AHAHAHAAAAA

This is oh so sweet. If everything goes well, bye bye, Ruben! This one's for Johnny.

Can i just say........ HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU JAIDEN FUCK YOU DOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCK SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE JULIA LEFT. Lets get down to brief overview and how i feel about it  1) Julia gets voted off.....SO MAD 2) Alex, Dom, Jaiden are in clear alliance of three, split the tribes up so everyones pair is separated...so basically...jordan and I are gone, casey and ash, ruben and lexi ...u get the point. 3) They put me on a tribe to fuck me over...im gone when they make these tribes and I come back to the ugliest tribe ever. Jaiden. Robin. Dom. Lexi. Alexis. Ashley and I. Now Ash and I are just sitting there like.................................i – i- this plan is so obvious??!?!? and do those three boys think its not obvious their together and they did this on purpose to FUCK ME OVER!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! um why u so obsessed with me BACK OFF 4) Ashley calls me at work during the comp and TELLS ME DOM IS TRYING TO THROW THE COMPITITION..................to say that the reason hes doing that is to save casey....thats right CASEY. YA RIGHT DOM FUCK OFF WHO DO U THINK WE ARE..........................now lets talk about this because ...................bitch u really want to try me!?! I know those three boys arent as stupid as their moves are coming off!?!? but do they think this is believable!?!?!? Seriously? Im kinda confused because a) They vote julia equalling in jordan and i coming full force on them.....like if ur gonna go for the two headed snake ....dont go for its tail? Sorry but julia was just a number. Jordan and I are the ones who game talk together and as much as i hate playing with him...i love playing with him if that makes any sense. b) you want to throw a competition...to what? To get me out? um....do you underestimate jordan , kendall and I? Yea were on two different tribes but its clearly obvious im fucked over. As if they wouldnt throw this comp.  5) We win immunity....and you would think the way ppl were acting was as if we lost. But it was so obvious everyone of them threw that and im PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [7:00:19 PM] jaiden: that's fucking bullshit [7:00:24 PM] jaiden: I went back and CORRECTED myself [7:00:26 PM] jaiden: i'm pissed [7:00:36 PM] jaiden: I'm glad we won but FUCK. THAT. [7:09:57 PM] Sarah: ARENT U HA;PPPYYY [7:10:00 PM] Sarah: YUHJGEDSXF [7:10:08 PM] jaiden: that would've been sooooooo bad sarah [7:10:19 PM] jaiden: I would've felt like SHIT if we had to go to tribal all because I made a simple mistake ............Jaiden................You had the lowest score on our tribe. And you think i didnt know I was going if we lost?.... “Simple mistake” mhm HUNTY I BELIEVE U FOR SURE Now its kinda obvious what dom is doing and honestly......................................fuck u wtf do u think ur doing being a better player than me? I cant wait till i vote ur ass out. Please take it as a compliment Actually...wait  no fuck u binch face motherfuck i hate u anyways so i was thinking that if we lost immunity ...i could come up with a plan. Jordan gives me the idol, it will be publicly shared, Jaiden will immediately come to me freaking out because hes being a fake ass, asking if jordan gave me the idol...I will tell him (in confidence HAHHAHAHAHAHA) that jordan gave me a fake one and that i only did it so people are scared to vote me out. He'll tell dom so they dont switch votes on Ashley. Then when I get majority votes ill idol out my votes, ashley puts one vote on me, i put one vote on dom so it ties. So if dom plays his idol it will be WASTED ANYWAYS. But if they split votes then ill be safe who cares if ashley goes home. Because im safe and in f13!!!!!!!!!! and hopefully merge happens soon so i can stop doing this. But its ok bc im gonna pray kendall and jordan throw the next comp. Honestly I love Kendall so much I want a f2 with her now that Julia is gone. So watch out for that in the future. http://i.imgur.com/D8kFHyf.gif DONT MESS WITH ME I WILL SELL MY SOUL JUST TO MAKE SURE I MAKE MERGE

Candle added Jordan Pines to this conversation.  From: Candle Jordan you know I adore you Sent on: 2:10 pm  From: Jordan Pines oh no Sent on: 2:10 pm  From: Candle But if you want to make a group chat, do it yourself Sent on: 2:10 pm From: Candle From: Jordan Pines hahahaha Sent on: 2:10 pm From: Jordan Pines this callout XDDDDDD Sent on: 2:10 pm  I couldn't have said that better myself Sent From: Candle Kay well I’ve made my point so get off my lawn you damn youngings Sent on: 2:11 pm Candle has removed Jordan Pines from this conversation Candle has removed Gavin from this conversation  AYYYYYYYE. YES. KENDALL. YES.

I hate getting lied to at Tribal Councils, but Julia left which is actually a good thing and kind of my fault oops. It's Kendall all over again in Malaysia. 

 But yeah, things got messy but I got to pick my tribe for the tribe swap. Jaiden and I got on call and decided we were going to split everyone up (Sarah/Jordan, Ruben/Lexi, Casey/Dom), so that's really fun and exciting. It'll be neat to see how everything goes with the pairs being split. Gavin and I are still together which is sweet. 

 I'm pissed about the vote count at Tribal. Jaiden ruined my no vote streak, but at least he did it on Day 87 for me not getting votes, which is my favorite number. 

I haven't been having fun in India and I never really knew why. It wasn't as though I was losing, it wasn't as though I was in any danger. I was just bored... it felt like something was missing, aside from my soul. So I had a heart to heart with myself over a cup of coffee. I went up to me and said "Me, what's wrong? I've been acting sadder then I usually am, what's wrong egg?" I simply gave myself a shrug and sadly responded "I dunno, I really want to have fun but something is missing... it feels like I am going through the motions," I gave myself a sad sigh. "Oh me, what am I going to with I? How am I going to win a game that I don't have the will to even play," It was at this time I was politely, but sternly, asked to leave by the Starbuck's Barista because I was "disturbing patrons with my mental breakdown," Which was bullshit by the way, I've had like 6 mental breakdown and they are not nearly as tame as me talking to myself. And so, as I argued with the barista and as threatened to call the cops, I had a realization. I have been experiencing the human emotion known as 'pouting'. I have given up because I felt like I had no opportunity to get to the end, that I was either going to get dragged as a goat or voted pre merge. But I have things I can use to my advantage. I don't have to lie down and play dead. If I just pretend to be a good little soldier until merge, reconvene with Sarah and some others, I could do something incredible. For now I just need to play nice. I have decided to stick with my allies. Not because I suddenly grew a brain. Not because I felt some sort of kinship with them or 'friendship'. It's just the best thing I can do Here is an elaboratation on my reasoning the form of a chart: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qPAkC4IhbNWgE2II29QqNaQFR1rgckfBEK_yKCOat5A/edit?usp=sharing 

Oh right, I almost forgot to mention during my ego maniacal ramblings. We are going to probably through the challenge to save Sarah (For strictly strategic purposes... I promise). I say probably because nothing has been confirmed. TBH if we lose, even if it is unintentionally, I'm about 80% sure Jordan Pines will claim that he meant to do it. Welp that's a common side effect of working with a narcissist. What are you gonna do?

Okay so FUCK this tribe swap. I am literally stuck on a tribe of people I have like never even spoken to, that is my fault of course, but damn how did I get so unlucky? Jaiden says he chose me because I am good in challenges and that I am a nice person, I mean that is nice and all but I am now separated from Gavin, Jordan, Alex, literally anyone who I actually liked and was hoping to really get to work with. This counting challenge is also a goddamn mess. Dom has gotten us like -25,000 points already ON PURPOSE. He tells me he likes me and isn't coming after me, but that leaves only two other returnees on our tribe that he could go after; Jaiden and Sarah. Sarah is kind of certain that Jaiden and Dom are working together, which kind of goes against the whole "newbies vs. villains" thing they are trying to start. But who knows. I can only hope the guys on the other tribe will also try throwing some challenges to give Sarah and I a chance over here on this tribe. They don't want newbies to have majority either.

Jaiden picked me to be on his tribe so that was perfect because I really did not want to be on the other tribe. Lexi spoke to me a bit and let me know that Ruben talked highly of me and how she was fond of me for that reason Robin's nice Jaiden's cool and we've both wanted to be on the same tribe for quite a while now so that finally happened Ashley rarely ever speaks to me and forgets to reply constantly Sarah only now started talking to me a bit more since she believes she's in the minority and Jordan probably said she could flip me Dom is a bit suspicious at times but I believe he trusts me and that he wants to take the newbies far I lost it again last night after the results, I should have done my confessional then but everyone already assumes I'm already crazy so maybe we'll save that for later. I feel a bit more calm now but last night I wanted to request tribal and still do sort of but I don’t think it’s possible. I wish I threw the challenge since I hate when the other tribe gets what they want and I don’t want Ruben to go. I like this Lexi, Robin, Dom group going on so I am hoping to solidify that soon and I think they assume it’s newbies vs returnees still. I’m hoping that by some miracle, a returnee gets voted out and apparently Dom just handed Ruben an idol. I believe Jordan assumes I’m closest with him still and that’s why Sarah has been trying to talk to me more lmao! I like Jordan so we'll see where that goes but he's controlling a huge part of the game as of now. Sarah should have tried a bit earlier to speak to me because now it seems like desperation, but I’ll keep playing this middle role, it amuses me. Sarah said she only really talks to Ashley so that's nothing new since I assumed she was close with her from that returnee alliance before the swap. Here’s to hoping the next challenge is something easily thrown so we can finally say goodbye to Sarah or Ashley :)

That was honestly a messy challenge result. I don't necessarily blame anyone for throwing though. I didn't know I was in the negatives so I'm sure everyone probably made mistakes they didn't catch. I'm worried for Ruben. He's the only one from my old alliance on the other tribe. Dom gave him his idol though so he'll hopefully be safe. On another note, I've been talking to the other Lexi. To be honest, if started off because I confused her for lexi my ally. We're getting along pretty well. She's definitely someone I'd like to work with in the future. Jaiden's also pretty cool so I have my bases covered once we go to tribal