#i slept for 10 hours and tbh its not as painful as yesterday but still hurts

[ellabswilliamson]

I worked out too hard Sat and spent all of Sun in pain bc I strained my arm tendons. Still hurts tbh

[editorialsonlife]

hello tumblr world its been a while since there’s been a proper update here so prepare for a dump and a half my friends because the last few weeks have been a fun trip (and that’s not even including the bloody US elections OMG)

we went to hawkes bay, so that was a good time. NOT. we turned up late because we slept in which was a great time. and also very fortuante because we arrived and no one came out to say hello which is terrible weird. So we start unloading the car and walking to the door and paul eventually emerged and was like, oh your mother’s just taking a nap we’re a bit tired. we only got home from the hospital an hour ago’. alaring for several reasons. 

the last couple of times this has happened, dave’s grandma died, his grandfather died, paul was in hospital for a suspected heart attack, paul had a heart attack & was flown to wellington for emergency surgery. let alone all the other family dramas in the intervening times. 

so it turns out that she threw her back out badly, fell over, and ended up in hospital when they couldn’t get on top of the pain with their sizable drug haul (pharmacist families man). didn’t think to text or call or give us a heads up in any way. when I asked why they wouldn’t text the response was, and I quote “Well she wasn’t dying so we didn’t think it was important’. like, fucking wow bitches. 

She couldn’t move without crying and groaning like she was in labour, she couldn’t move without a walker, she was on morphine, coedine, steroids and antiinflammatories, and still fucking miserable. 

poor dave was so stressed out. it was actually just a fucking horrible weekend. a) seeing another human in that much pain who utterly refused to do anything about it and still is

b) not being told the full story about whats going on, although I did read her medical discharge notes when they were both asleep 

c) seeing poor fucking dave stressed to shit because who the fuck knows whats going on and that’s his mum hes watching in so much pain. 

it was fucking horrible. never again. and walking into it with no warning was just the shittest thing of all. 

I was so fucking angry when we got home. like, ridiculous. I’m still raging tbh. guess who’s place we’re not going to for christmas?? 

So that was our five days of leave, and our holiday, once again shat all over (at least it wasn’t covid this time?!?)

got home on monday evening and went to send an email to work to be like hey homies not showing up tomorrow, need a day to recover to find out I had a client meeting at 830 the next morning I had to attend which was so  hard to get through. here, let’s pitch for 80k of work which isn’t going to solve any of your problems? why not. it makes me so mad. SO MAD. 

rolled through that and our team meeting and a colleague was like how are you doing? just about burst into tears so I peaced out of there. turned up to counselling on thursday, didnt even make it into the room and anne was like, you seem angry? I was like, mmmmm no, don’t think angry quite covers it mate. so that was great. 

got to last weekend, was meant to be meeting friends for brunch but there was a massive crash on the motorway so we ended up driving somewhere else which was an hour each way so that basically ruined the day but it was a lovely brunch anyway, had a great time. best smashed avo and lots of cuddles with little miss izz who is not so little anymore but so gorgeous!! Had a great day on sunday, finished off a bunch of work (yes, work is insanely busy right now, such fun, will be working again this weeked), got heaps of planting done, mowed the lawns, hung my artwork, finally felt like I was back on a happy even keel (fuck life is nice not having permanent anxiety) only to be sitting in a meeting on monday afternoon to find out homegrown is on the same day as our wedding. the second wedding since the first one was cancelled. 

I pretty much just lost my shit. honestly. why is it so fucking hard to just organise something to celebrate being married. legit feel like the universe is just fucking with us at the moment and like, did we even make the right decision doing all of this? because every time we try and do something it gets fucked over and its v stressful. and yes i know we’re lucky to be covid free and be able to plan these safely and everything else but like, honestly. I’m so over it. every holiday this year has been fucked over, the wedding was done, the family reaction was so shit, like, its just ridiculous. the worst part was I came home in rage mode and dave came home in problem solving mode and was like, we can fix this and like, yeah, i know we can, but like, I’m fucking sick of making do. It’s meant to be one of the best days of our lives, and we’re already onto plan fucking c for it, and just like, I’m done with it? I’m just done. I cannot be assed. I don’t want to email everyone, I don’t want to reschedule all this shit, I don’t want to reorganise all my hair appointments, I don’t want to have to worry about the weather and rebooking it all and dealing with all this fucking shit. I’m so done. I’ve done it twice already I don’t want to do it again. RAGE. anyway. survived monday night, the week did not get any better, work got worse, and the PMS hit fucking hard yesterday. cried before work, cried at the stupid 8am meeting, cried turning up to anne and was like, I have an hour to get this all out of my system before client meetings in the afternoon. 

and hot damn, god bless best friends, because bish messaged me and was like, lets do lunch homie, so we went to the botanic gardens and sat there and had the most insane conveersation ranking the best flavours of shapes, then biscuits, then crackers. and honestly, it was the pointless, best, most lighthearted discussion and everything I needed and I love her so much. 

all I can say now is thank fucking god it’s friday, and its the weekend, and we have zero plans beyond going to mitre 10. I’m gunna order all my christmas presents online this weekend adn get that out of the way. need to do a couple of laods of washing, hopefully only like 6 hours of work, but like, it’s gunna be chill. and I’m v relieved. 

she’s been a bit of a nightmare. 

HOWEVER

despite all this complaining, looking back on where I was a year ago, like fuck me i am in so much of a better place mentally and life is just so much better. I’m so relieved. and period binge aside, physically I’m getting better too so I’m gunna take it all as a massive win. week in adn week out its been a grind, and it’s been uncomfortable and hard and horrible at times but man, coming out the other side is such a relief. having capacity to do things like supporting a friend through her current nightmare and managing dave and dealing with all the work stress makes such a fucking difference honestly. it’s also nice to feel like I can manage myself better so I can look after everyone else better too. 

Feeling v grateful for this little life of mine, and the people in it, and for being in this little corner of the world. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I am so so so so so grateful for it. 

[justintimbershit]

1-100

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

helllll ya there is for the first time in the history of me answering these questions.

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

i dont recall the last person who hurt me so probably

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

a fuckin cat? 

4: What’s something you really want right now?

i want the bf to be home bc i should be sleeping in his bed rn cuddling w him :( 

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

in some ways yes but in some ways no 

6: Do you like the beach?

nah fuck the beach. i fuckin hate the same and the heat and the grossness of the water and the people and just everything about the beach 

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

ya i dont know if we've ever slept slept but like, ive cuddled and half napped on the couch w someone else 

8: What’s the background on your cell?

lock screen me and the bf home screen my puppy

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

my own, bretts, probs my bed at home, and my bed at my moms

10: Do you like your phone?

ya its decent 

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

eh thats kinda hard to answer bc i didn't have much planned but i think things may be going better than planned idk

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

umm.. . idk i need to add new coworkers numbers so it'll be them soon 

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

rottweiler !!!

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

i believe emotional bc it fucking sucks and it usually doesn't heal v fast :( 

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

hm i really like animals but zoos kinda make me sad but animals are so cute ahhh. but i also like art so idk man. both.

16: Are you tired?

always and forever my dude

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

lmao since the beginning of the school year

18: Are they a relative?

no its my schools emergency service 

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

i dont have any exes so no 

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

im texting him rn but i last talked to him face to face yesterday at like 9:30am when he dropped me off :(

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

HONESTLY idk probs not im in college but i have v strong feelings ya know

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yes pls always for very many more times 

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

i have zero. not even a hair tie 

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

nah not really

25: What’s on your mind?

i miss my boyfriend and i want him to come home and im kind mad bc hes fucked up my sleep schedule so bad bc its only 9pm and i feel dead but i want him home :(

26: Do you have any tattoos?

no but yo quiero 

27: What is your favorite color?

turquoise

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which is in so many days but its fine

29: Who are you texting?

my bf and a couple friends

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

i have indeed 

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

yes all the time 

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

i do. one or two 

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

i hope my boyfriend does bc hes dating me :/

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

yes people have which is weird bc i dont 

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

id be so fucking sad. the very saddest. my heart would actually break. 

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

technically yes but i was on my first date w my boyfriend so 

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

we r in a relationship 

38: What do your friends call you?

julie

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

yes im like...constantly upset and sometimes its not caused by someone but ya know 

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

lmao oh ya dude

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

i had like 2 or 3 mysterious tiny bruises on my thighs last week idk 

42: What is it from?

no idea tbh

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

right now. i dont wanna be in my dorm room i wanna be in mY BOYFRIENDS BED

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my mother

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

ya i recently bought a pair of chelsea boots and ive only worn them once but i love them and thats the kinda person i wanna be ya know?

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

nah i only wear beanies in the winter to keep my head warm

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

nah my hair is my security blanket

48: Do you make supper for your family?

nah. sometimes i buy brett food from the c-store w a meal swipe if that counts (it doesn't)

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

it does indeed

50: Top 3 web-pages?

twitter, netflix, idk google, or moodle 

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

i hate shopping depending on the kind of shopping

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

my head and my eyes and my ankle

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

:( so hard lol :( 

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

uhhhhhhh idk great question

55: How is your hair?

long and in need of a haircut 

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

turn my alarm off and check my phone 

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

id like to think so 

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

yes bc i was like 9

59: Green or purple grapes?

i like both but probs purple

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

yesterday when the bf dropped me off :(

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

with my BOYFRIEND 

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

whenever i get a text back 

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

probs in bed 

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

sleeping still i think 

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

uuhhhh it think pawel idk 

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

yes i enjoy those ppl very much:)

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

i hugged molly and jess 

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

probs something along the lines of “god i fuckin hate my roommate pls shut up”

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

uuuuuh every minute of my life 

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

so many bc i have a research paper due soon and im doin research 

71: How many fingers do you have?

all 10

72: What is your ringtone?

idk its like the classic telephone 

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

still 19 

74: Where is your Mum right now?

probs at her house but idk 

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

probs bc i thought i was in love when i was like 9 and thats not how it works 

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

yesssss !!:)):):)):)):)::)):):)))

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

for the most part despite not talking as much bc college 

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

uuuuuuuuhh no. who tf do i look like

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

yes multiple ppl 

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

yeee me gusta

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

one 

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

lol ya 

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

i was but he already went to sleep :(

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

probs lex or julia

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

nah boi lets do drugs together. only the weeds tho. 

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um im pretty sure it was a first date and it wasn't all that great but that boy introduced me and my current bf so worth it 

87: Who was your last received call from?

my mommmmma 

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

honestly probs :(

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

happiness and money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

yes it sucks

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

depends on the weather

92: Do you get along with girls?

i do indeed

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

eh i dont really think so 

94: Does sex mean love?

nope 

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

not at all 

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

no

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

sometimes but not all the time

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yeeees:):)))

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

uuuh idk man maybe 

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

my boyfriendddddd